text:
Ten-Second Switch
By ShinjitsuShomei
Dramatis Personae:
Red Riding Hood
Fairy Godmother
Sleepy Witch
Mr. Angry Man
Jedi Steve
Jedi Mike
The Wolf
Random Crowd Member #1
Random Crowd Member #2
Technician #1
Technician #2
Forest Echoes
Friar Know-It-All
Other Crowd Members
Tavern Patrons
Scene 1
The Ninja and the Pirate
(The curtain opens and a single light illuminates a stool, on which sits Ninja. She sits with her head down, but slowly looks up and surveys the audience.)
Ninja - (Stands and walks downstage.) Ya know, I miss the good old days. Back when I used to run through the meadows and the fields, picking wildflowers and singing with the bluebirds. Then running back home for a slice of mother's homemade blackberry pie and a glass of fresh milk. (pauses. Then a look of confusion crosses her face.) Or was that someone else's life?
(Pirate leaps in from stage left)
Ninja: (Points accusingly) Pirate!
Pirate: (Points back) Ninja!
(Both stride to meet each other at center stage. Glare at each other. Then flail their arms whimsically together in mock battle. Ninja's right hand slaps Pirate's left cheek as Pirate's left hand slaps Ninja's right cheek. Both turn their heads with the slap. They return to glaring, each holding the injured cheek)
Ninja: I hate you!
Pirate: I hate you too!
Ninja: You are a greedy, scruffy, honor-less thief!
Pirate: And you're a murdering, holier-than-thou snob!
Ninja: Drunkard!
Pirate: Freak!
Ninja: Pervert!
Pirate: Drone!
Ninja: Well, you smell bad!
Pirate: (Goes to smell under his arm. Pulls back as if from a gross smell and pauses.) It's not that bad.
Ninja: It smells like someone urinated on you!
Pirate: (smells again. Looks at Ninja) I think someone did urinate on me!
Ninja: (Shakes her head, holding her hand to her forehead.) Now that's just sad. (looks up to see that Pirate is still smelling himself.) You are the worst enemy I have ever faced!
Pirate: And yet you never kill me.
Ninja: I know!
Pirate: What am I doing that stops you?
Ninja: I don't know!
Pirate: I must be doing something right.
Ninja: You never even do anything!
Pirate: I play paintball.
Ninja: (looks at him silently for a moment. Then speaks brightly.) Really?
Pirate: Yeah, Me and Scott are always kicking it out on the weekends.
Ninja: I've never gotten a chance to play paintball before.
(They begin walking toward stage right, talking as they do.)
Pirate: How can you have never played paintball?
Ninja: I've got too many assignments.
Pirate: You work too hard!
Ninja: Isn't it really hard to aim though?
Pirate: Well, not that I like to brag, but it comes naturally to me.
(They exit via stage right)
Scene 2
Jedi Battle #1
(As Pirate and Ninja exit to stage right, Jedi Steve runs out of stage left, light saber drawn. He is followed by Jedi Mike whose light saber is also drawn.)
Steve: (Blocks a swing from Mike.) How dare you accost me whilst I was on my daily stroll!
Mike: (Swings again, but Steve dodges.) Thou hast done me injury, villain! Now thou shall perish!
Steve: (Swings back, and misses.) I do protest! Never did I injured thee!
Mike: (swings, and they cross light sabers and hold them there.) Hast thou forgotten?! Then, dark prince, know that whilst thou strolled, (shoves him back) thou knocketh over my Mocha chino!
(Mike advances toward Steve and knocks him back. Steve leans with one arm propped up on the stool.)
Steve: (Gasping for breath.) How canst thou say that I am a villain! I never meant thee any harm! (falls to the floor and drops his light saber as Mike strikes at the stool.) Please, good sir, do not strike me dead!
Mike: (Looks at his light saber then looks at Steve, then looks at his light saber again.) Oh, happy dagger, this is thy sheath! (Stabs Steve.)
Steve: (wails in pain. Then lays still, his arms spread out.)
Mike: (Withdraws his light saber and picks up Steve's. [music slowly fades] He starts to walk toward stage left.)
Steve: (Tilts his head up to look at Mike.) You Sucketh. (Dies.)
(Curtain closes)
Scene 3
Red Riding Hood
(Once the curtain is closed, green and yellow lights come up, giving the air of a forest setting. Clusters of bushes are set around below the stage over the pit and near the stage. Red Riding Hood skips out from stage left. She carries a basket in the crook of her arm and she grins as she skips down the stairs to the audience.)
Red Riding Hood: (Skipping in front of the stage. Smiling joyfully.)
The Wolf: (Visible to the audience, but not Red Riding Hood. Aside.) Abducting little girls one-O-one.
The Wolf: (Jumps out from behind the cluster of bushes in front of Red Riding Hood, making her scream.) Where are you going?
Red Riding Hood: (shocked) I'm going to go see my grandmother.
The Wolf: (suspiciously) Really? Then why don't we travel together? I know a wonderful shortcut through the woods.
Red Riding Hood: (nervously) No, thank you. I think I'll just be running along now. (She turns to go back the way she came.)
The Wolf: Oh, I insist. (Grabs her arm.)
Red Riding Hood: (Trying to pull away.) Let go of me!
The Wolf: (Picks her up.) Step Two. (Runs toward the door.)
Red Riding Hood: Help! I'm being abducted!
(Enter Fairy Godmother)
Fairy Godmother: (Waves her magic wand.) Freeze!
(The Wolf and Red Riding Hood freeze. Fairy Godmother steps out and addresses the audience.)
Fairy Godmother: Poor Red Riding Hood. Cries such as: Help! Rape! and I am being taken against my will! do not work. People won't come to come save you. That's because mankind is sick and evil and twisted and you like it when bad things happen to other people. (Pauses) You know who you are.
Forest Echoes: (Sticking out their heads. Sing-song.) Who you are... (Exit.)
Fairy Godmother: (Hands on hips.) Oh drat those little forest echoes, always repeating what I say.
Forest Echoes: (Again.) What you say... (Exit.)
Fairy Godmother: (Cross.) Anyways, This is what Red Riding Hood should have done.
(Temporary blackout. When the lights return, Red Riding Hood, Fairy Godmother, and The Wolf are back in their starting places.)
The Wolf: (Jumps out from behind the cluster of bushes in front of Red Riding Hood, making her scream. He Speaks in a German accent.) Vhere are you goingk?
Red Riding Hood: (shocked) I'm going to go see my grandmother.
The Wolf: (suspiciously) Really? Zen vhy don't ve travel togezer? I know a vonderful shortcut through the voods.
Red Riding Hood: (nervously) No, thank you. I think I'll just be running along now. (She turns to go back the way she came.)
The Wolf: Oh, I insist. (Grabs her arm.)
Red Riding Hood: (Pulls back and screams) Fire! Fire! (Aside.) Step Two. (Knees The Wolf in groin.) Fire! (Runs away from The Wolf.) Fire! Fire!
Fairy Godmother: (Stepping out holding a textbook under one arm. Waves her wand.) Freeze! (The Wolf and Red Riding Hood freeze.) Now then, (Brings forth textbook and flips through it.) If you'll all open your health books to page 23 you'll see that Red Riding Hood has done exactly what she should do in the event of a predator assault. (Closes book.) However, We all saw how incredible stupid that was. Rapists won't let you go just cause you yell "Fire." (Pauses.) Here's what any self-respecting woman would do.
(Temporary blackout. When the lights return, Red Riding Hood, Fairy Godmother, and The Wolf are back in their starting places.)
The Wolf: (Jumps out from behind the cluster of bushes in front of Red Riding Hood, making her scream.) Where are you going?
Red Riding Hood: (shocked) I'm going to go see my grandmother.
The Wolf: (suspiciously) Really? Then why don't we travel together? I know a wonderful shortcut through the woods.
Red Riding Hood: (nervously) No, thank you. I think I'll just be running along now. (She turns to go back the way she came.)
The Wolf: Oh, I insist. (Goes to grab her arm.)
Red Riding Hood: (Jumps back, reaches into the basket, and pulls out a gun.) Oh, you insist, do ya?!
(The wolf backs away as Red Riding Hood steps toward him, a crazed look in her eyes.)
The Wolf: (Aside.) Step Two. (Runs away through the audience and exits out the back.)
(Red Riding Hood puts the gun back into her basket, grins, and skips out the side door.)
Fairy Godmother: (Stepping out..) So remember ladies: always carry the means to protect yourself.
Forest Echoes: (Again.) Use Protection! (Exit.)
Fairy Godmother: (Whips around. Scolding.) Forest Echoes! There could be teenagers in the audience! (Shakes her head and storms away.)
Scene 4
In the Tavern/Jedi Battle #2
(The curtain opens on a tavern. At one table in the shadows, Mike sits sipping a drink. Friar Know-It-All and several Patrons sits at a second table, slightly behind and to the right of the third. At the third table, the closest to the audience and in the light, Angry Man and Sleepy Witch sit. Angry Man looks upset and Sleepy Witch is sleeping with her head on the table, cradled by her arms.)
Angry Man: (sets his drink down forcefully) Why do I even bother!?
Sleepy Witch: (Looking up groggily.) Bother with what?
Angry Man: My brother! He thinks he's found the answer to all life's mysteries!
Sleepy Witch: (Still groggy.) What mysteries?
Angry Man: Oh, mysteries like, "What is the last digit in Pi" and other nonsense.
Friar Know-It-All: It's seven.
Angry Man: (turns to look at the friar.) What?!
Friar Know-It-All: The last digit in Pi, it's seven.
Angry Man: Pi goes on forever and ever!
Friar Know-It-All: Nonsense! Nothing last forever. Why just look at Atlantis.
Angry Man: (frustrated disgust) Who ARE you?!
Friar Know-It-All: I am Friar Know-It-All.
Sleepy Witch: (Lifts her head a bit.) Hello Friar. (Puts it back down.)
Friar Know-It-All: How are you, Sleepy Witch?
Sleepy Witch: Sleepy.
Friar Know-It-All: And you must be Mr. Angry Man! (shakes his hand enthusiastically) I know so much about you! In fact, I know everything about you!
Angry Man: You're such a freak! Leave me alone!
Sleepy Witch: Calm down, Angry Man. You're causing a scene.
Angry Man: I am not!
Sleepy Witch: You are! Now keep it down!
Angry Man: I'm leaving! (Gets up and storms offstage, leaving the bar in silence.)
Sleepy Witch: He didn't even pay for his drink! That scumbag.
(Steve suddenly runs into the tavern and lunges at Mike. They both draw light sabers and begin to duel. The Patrons scream and run about in panic before exiting. During the commotion, Friar Know-It-All leaves. Steve and Mike's duel spreads throughout the tavern, knocking over tables and chairs as they battle. Sleepy Witch continues to sit with her head on the table. When she looks up, the table is knocked away.)
Sleepy Witch: (Stands up, grabs her walking stick, and hits them both on the head. They faint. She reaches down and sets the table upright. Then she resumes her nap with a content sigh. The stage slowly goes black.)
(Curtain closes.)
Scene 5
(The curtain opens on a castle interior. A tapestry covers the wall behind a large throne with two smaller chairs on either side of it. The King sits in the throne, looking miserable. Sleepy Witch sits in the chair to stage right, snoring loudly with her head on the back of the chair. Jester stands behind Sleepy Witch, fidgeting.)
King: (Looks up dully.) Where is my son?
Jester: The Prince is in the royal gardens, My Lord.
King: Call him in.
Jester: As you wish, My Lord. (Curtsies and Exits.)
King: (Calls.) Court magician.
Sleepy Witch: (Snorts awake.) Yeah, lord?
King: I believe it is time my son took a bride.
Sleepy Witch: (Scoffs.) Good luck with that, Your Majesty. Your son may be handsome, but his personality leaves a lot to want.
King: What do you mean, Sleepy Witch?
Sleepy Witch: Only that your son is about as interesting as a tomato.
King: Why, tomatoes are very intriguing, Sleepy Witch!
Sleepy Witch: How so, My Lord?
King: Well, is it a fruit or a vegetable?
Sleepy Witch: It's a fruit, my Lord. (To the side.) and so is your son.
King: What was that? I didn't catch it.
Sleepy Witch: Oh, nothing, Sire. Just muttering about that awful tomato.
King: You're quite certain that it's a fruit?
Sleepy Witch: (yawns) It's a melon, technically.
King: A Melon?!
Sleepy Witch: Of, course, My lord. A melon is a fruit with multiple seeds inside of the flesh.
King: What about berries?
Sleepy Witch: Well, my lord, berries are a little different. Berries are tiny fruits with multiple seeds. And the seeds aren't always inside.
King: Not inside?!
Sleepy Witch: Not inside, my lord. Why, just look at strawberries!
King: By golly, you're right! Why do you know so much about fruits?
Sleepy Witch: How do you think I became court magician, my Lord? (Slouches egotistically.) You must know these sort of things in times of need.
(Enter Jester and Prince.)
Prince: You like, asked for me?
King: Yes, son. It's time you took a bride!
Prince: But, there's like, no princesses for miles.
King: Ah yes. That does pose a problem...
Prince: Like, duh.
King: Very well, if a suitable princess cannot be found then the Prince shall marry the court magician!
Sleepy Witch: (Unhappy.) No way!
Prince: Dude, She'd like, totally sleep through our wedding night!
King: SILENCE! The Prince shall marry the court magician or both shall be put to death!
Prince: (Reluctantly.) Fine. I'll like, marry the Sleepy Witch.
King: (Rises.) Then I shall retire to my bedchamber. (Exits.)
(The Prince, Jester, and Sleepy Witch walk forward to center stage as he departs.)
Prince: It seems the time has come to set our plans into motion.
Jester: Indeed. The King has outlived his usefulness.
Sleepy Witch: I'll go get the ear poison from that guy in Denmark. (Exits.)
Prince: (Takes Jester's hands in his.) And once the King is out of the way we can finally be together.
Jester: Just like we always wanted.
Prince: Until the end of time. (They embrace passionately.)
Sleepy Witch: (Enters with a vial. Pauses at the sight of them) Oh, god! Get a room you two! (Storms over and thrusts the vial into the Prince's hand.) Here's the ear poison. Now get into position!
Jester: (Salutes.) Aye, Aye, Sir Boss! (Exits.)
Prince: (Sits in throne.) Let us begin.
Sleepy Witch: (Takes out a bolt of red cloth and lays it in front of the throne. She lays on it and then screams hysterically.) Oh! Help! Help! (Suddenly lays down.)
Jester: (Sticks her head in and shakes it.)
Sleepy Witch: (Screams louder and more clearly.) Oh! Help! I am being attacked!
Jester: (Sticks her head in and shakes it.)
Sleepy Witch: (Screams as loud as she can.) FIRE!!! FIRE!!! FIRE!!! (Lays down suddenly.)
King: (Rushes in.) What's going on! (Sees Sleepy Witch.) Oh my goodness! Sleepy Witch! Look how she bleeds! (Looks at Prince.) How could you, Florence?!
Prince: The same way I can do this! (Lunges at the King and empties the vial in his ear.)
King: Oh! How it doth burn! (Falls to his knees and lands on Sleepy Witch.)
Sleepy Witch: (Groans.) Oh! My spleen! Get the fat man off of me!
Jester: (Runs in.) Oh my darling!
Prince: (Goes to meet her with arms outstretched.) Yes, my love! Jump into my arms!
Jester: (Runs past him and pushes the King off of Sleepy Witch. Jester pulls Sleepy Witch into her arms.) Please come back to me, Florence!
Sleepy Witch: (Bewildered.) Huh?
Prince: (Turns around.) I'm over here, Jester.
Jester: Oh. (Drops Sleepy Witch and runs back to Prince.)
Sleepy Witch: (Falls face down.) Oww! I landed on my keys! (Gets to her hands and knees.) You guys really suck you know. (Gets up and nudges the King with her foot.) He's really dead.
Jester: The King is dead!
Prince: Long live the King!
Sleepy Witch: Mozeltov!
All: (Pause. Then lift their arms with joyous celebration.) Mozeltov! (Begin to run in circles around each other. Singing.) Mozeltov! Mozeltov! The King is dead! Mozeltov! Mozeltov!
(Curtain closes as they continue.)
Scene 6
Death of the Ninja
(The curtain opens to reveal Jedi Mike being restrained by Pirate and Jedi Steve being restrained by Ninja. A crowd is gathered, including Fairy Godmother, Mr. Angry Man, Friar Know-It-All, Sleepy Witch, Jester, Prince, and others.)
Pirate: Calm down, Mike! He isn't worth it!
Mike: That villain knocked over my coffee! He shall be given no quarter!
Steve: Thou art overexcited and childish!
Ninja: Stop struggling!
Mike: Unhand me! That fiend must pay!
Ninja: Its just a cup of coffee!
Angry Man: (outraged) JUST Coffee?!
Fairy Godmother: Coffee is a valuable energy source! It's crucial to everyday life!
Pirate: She's got a point, Ninja.
Ninja: I manage without coffee just fine!
Friar Know-It-All: Ninja is correct, but then again, in Japan, the home of the ninjas, coffee is substituted with tea as a similar, yet weaker energy supplement.
Random Crowd Member #1: Your all a bunch of Coffee-Addicts!
Random Crowd Member #2: Yeah! You must have been exposed in the womb!
Angry Man: How DARE You?!
Mike: My mocha!
(Indistinguishable arguing continues as the crowd starts fighting. Mike and Steve break away from Pirate and Ninja and draw their light sabers for battle. Enter Knights)
Knight #1: (sees Jester and Prince) There they are! The king's killers!
Knight #2: After them, men!
Jester: (grabs Prince and pulls him offstage) Run away!
(Fairy Godmother knocks out Angry Man and drags him offstage. Friar Know-It-All is pulled violently offstage by Random Crowd Members 1 and 2. Several other crowd members have been killed accidentally by Mike and Steve. The remainder of the crowd has been chased offstage by Sleepy Witch flailing her walking stick. Only Mike, Steve, Pirate, and Ninja remain. Mike and Steve are continuing to battle.)
Ninja: Someone has to stop this madness!
Pirate: How?!
(Mike and Steve jump back for a moment. They point their light sabers at one another and charge at each other screaming.)
Ninja: (runs in between them.) Stop fighting! (Is stabbed and falls to the floor.)
Pirate: Ninja! (runs to her side.)
Ninja: (weakly) Pirate...
Pirate: What is it?
Ninja: ...I want you to know...
Pirate: Yes?
Ninja: That I... I...
Pirate: You what?
Ninja: I always... considered you my friend.
Pirate: Really?
Ninja: Yeah. You were the best nemesis I ever had.
Pirate: (sentimentally) Ah, gee. Thanks.
Ninja: Listen to me, Pirate. Before I die, I must warn you. There is another, more powerful than me. One that will not hesitate to kill you.
Pirate: What?
Ninja: She's stronger than both of us combined.
Pirate: How is that possible?
Ninja: Part pirate, part ninja but stronger than both.
Pirate: How do I defeat her?
Ninja: No one knows...
Pirate: There must be a way.
Ninja: I'm sorry, Pirate...
Pirate: No, wait!
Ninja: Good-bye... (Dies)
Pirate: No! You can't die! Ninja! I still have questions! Who's the other enemy?! What's their weak spot?! How can you just die like that!? (covers his eyes with his hands and leans over Ninja's corpse. Whispers.) What do I do now?
(curtain closes)
Scene 7
Technical Difficulties
(The curtain opens on a cafe setting. The street outside can be seen through a window behind the tables. There is a door by the window. A large sign above the set says "A Starbucks in Korea." Fairy Godmother, The Wolf, and Red Riding Hood sit at a table drinking coffee. (Through the window, crowds of people can be seen running in terror away from Godzilla.)
Fairy Godmother: Wait a minute. Why are we in Korea?
Red Riding Hood: And why is Godzilla here? Isn't Godzilla Japanese?
Fairy Godmother: And why Starbucks?
The Wolf: I don't even like coffee.
Fairy Godmother: What are those writers thinking?! I mean, how can we be expected to act when they screw up the scenery?
The Wolf: I refuse to continue until this issue is addressed!
Red Riding Hood: Hold on a minute. (Storms offstage and returns dragging Technician #1 behind her.) Fix the sign!
Technician #1: (freezes in fear.)
The Wolf: Uh, guys? (whispers) The technical staff can't appear onstage during a show.
Red Riding Hood: What?! Then What good are they?!
Fairy Godmother: Oh, let's just finish the scene as is!
Red Riding Hood: Fine. (to Technician.) Out of the way, then.
Technician #1: (still frozen in fear.)
Red Riding Hood: Uh, Hello? Move it.
Technician #1: (still frozen in fear.)
Red Riding Hood: (exasperated) Oh, come on!
Mike: (enters from shop door.) Okay, I'm getting another Mocha chino! (sees Technician #1.) What are you doing out here?
Red Riding Hood: He's in the way!
Mike: Oh, don't worry. (walks over to group.) Check this out. (to Technician #1.) All Your Base-Your base-
Technician #1: (joins in.) Base- Base- All your Base- Are belong to us.
Mike: (gently pushes Technician #1 offstage.) Piece of cake.
Fairy Godmother: I'm still not happy about the sign.
([Mission Impossible Theme] Technician #2 runs onstage carrying a piece of paper and a stool. Technician #2 sets the stool under the large sign, climbs up, and puts the piece of paper over part of the sign, changing it to "A Starbucks in New York." Technician #2 climbs down and exits with stool.)
The Wolf: How come that guy could
and the other couldnt?
Mike: Must have been a level 2 Techie. They go through training you know.
Red Riding Hood: Unlike actors.
Fairy Godmother: (shakes her head in contempt.) Crew members.
(Curtain closes.)
Scene 8
Enter Pirinja
(Curtain opens to reveal a counselor's office. There is a door and a window. Mike and Steve are laying on separate couches while Doctor sits in a chair between them.)
Doctor: Now, Mike. Retrace your steps that morning.
Mike: (hesitantly) Well, I woke up, and got dressed. Then I went to Starbucks and I got a mocha chino.
Doctor: You got it to go?
Mike: Yeah, I wanted to enjoy it in the park.
Doctor: (taking notes.) That's very interesting. Please continue.
Mike: Well, I went to the park but my favorite bench was taken again.
Doctor: Again?
Mike: This crazy guy shows up every Sunday to feed peanuts to the pigeons.
Doctor: And how does that make you feel?
Mike: Pretty sad actually.
Doctor: Why's that?
Mike: Because he puts cyanide in the peanuts.
Doctor: Oh... what did you do next?
Mike: Well, I decided that since I couldn't sit there, I'd go sit by the fountain.
Doctor: And that's when you set your drink on the rim, isn't it?
Mike: (emotionally) Yes. And then... He knocked it over.
Doctor: I understand, Mike. Steve?
Steve: Yeah?
Doctor why don't you tell us about your morning?
Steve: Well-
(Enter Pirate via the door.)
Pirate: (points) YOU!! (draws pistol.) You killed Ninja!
Steve and Mike: (stand up and point at each other.) He did it!
(Enter Pirinja via the window. She draws a sword, kills Steve and Mike, then runs out of the door past Pirate.)
Pirate: Dude! She totally just stole my kill! (revelation) Wait a minute, that's who Ninja was warning me about, the Pirinja! (runs after Pirinja) Get back here! You Kill-Stealing freak!
(Curtain closes.)
Scene 9
Backstage Shenanigans
(Curtain opens on the Green Room backstage. Technician #1 and Technician #2 sit playing cards. Boxes, tables, chairs, costumes, and sturdy props are scattered everywhere.)
Technician #1: Got a five?
Technician #2: Go Tech. Got a queen?
Technician #1: Go Tech.
(Enter Pirinja and Pirate. Pirinja jumps and hops on tables and boxes nimbly across the stage. Enter Pirate.)
Pirate: (throwing boxes, tables, props and costumes out of his way as he chases Pirinja.) Get back here you prancing pirate mockery! (both exit.)
Technician #1: Got a two?
Technician #2: Yup. (hands him the card.)
(Enter Ghost. Ghost is Ninja covered with a large white bed sheet.)
Technician #2: (stands quickly and points at Ghost) It's the Phantom of the Auditorium!
Technician #1: (stands) Holy Spotlight!
Technician #2: (pushes a pile of boxes aside to reveal a door.) Into the Techie Cave! (both exit via the techie cave.)
Ghost: (stares after them a while then follows after Pirate and Pirinja.)
(Curtain closes.)
Scene 10
(Once the curtain is closed, Pirinja comes out front, followed closely by Pirate.)
Pirate: I said stop!
Pirinja: (stops, turns, and attacks Pirate.)
Pirate: Whoa! (jumps back as Pirinja continues to attack.)
(Enter Fairy Godmother and The Wolf from opposite sides of the stage.)
The Wolf: Go, Pirate! (Enter Friar Know-It-All and Mr. Angry Man.)
Fairy Godmother: Come on, Pirinja! Beat that drunken fool!
Pirate: Why are we even fighting? (attacks back with an empty bottle.)
Crowd: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
(Enter Jester, Prince, and Red Riding Hood from stage right. Enter Sleepy Witch and technicians from stage left.)
Red Riding Hood: Place your bets here! Place your bets here!
Jester: Ten on Pirinja!
Mr. Angry Man: Twenty on Pirate!
Technician #1: Fifty on Pirinja!
(Enter Other Crowd Members. Pirate and Pirinja continue to battle as the crowd makes general noise.)
Pirate: (falls backwards)
Pirinja: (prepares to dramatically stab Pirate.)
(Enter Ghost.)
Ghost: Stop, Pirinja!
Pirinja: (pauses) Huh?
Ghost: (walks into battle area.) This battle is not simply Pirinja versus Pirate. (throws off the bed sheet to reveal Ninja.) It is Pirinja versus Pirate and Ninja!
Pirinja: (Tilts head in confusion) But you're supposed to be dead.
Ninja: Fool, I am Ninja!
Prince: Five hundred on Ninja!
Pirinja: But how did you survive?
Pirate: yeah, how did you survive?
Ninja: That's for the writers to know, and us to wonder.
Pirate: You mean you don't know how you survived?!
Ninja: Does it matter?!
Pirate: It's a pretty useful trick!
Ninja: What do you need it for? Pirates are immortal, remember?
Crowd: (mutters) Stupid Disney.
Pirate: Yeah, but that still involves actually dying, not like you freaking ninjas, all magical and godlike all of the sudden.
Crowd: (mutters) Stupid Naruto.
Pirinja: Anyways, Two against one isn't fair!
Ninja: Are you proposing a trade?
Pirinja: Of what?
Ninja: I'll let you two settle this one on one if we get to chose the method of battle.
Pirinja: Name your terms, Pirate!
Ninja: Point of parliamentary procedure!
Pirinja: What now?!
Ninja: I insist on discussing the topic with Pirate before any final decision is made.
Pirinja: Make it snappy.
Ninja: (whispers to Pirate) Listen, you keep her busy, I'm gonna go get the secret weapon.
Pirate: (whispers) What secret weapon?
Ninja: (whispers) The secret weapon against Pirinja. Now go for it. (Exits.)
Pirate: (To Pirinja.) The Battle Method is Swashbuckling.
Pirinja: To the Death!
Pirate: No, Just to the finish.
Pirinja: It finishes when someone dies!
Pirate: No, It's finished when someone loses-
Pirinja: By DYING!
Pirate: Fine! Swashbuckling to the finish of someone losing by dying!
Pirinja: Okie-dokie.
Sleepy Witch: Alright! I want a bad, messy brawl. Biting, hitting, kicking, slapping, spitting, strangling, drowning, deafening, slashing, bashing, beating, burning, bruising, and throwing mud... sound really entertaining, so go for it! If you must bleed, don't drip. The booth is off-limits, and don't touch the cyclorama. (afterthought) Oh, and try not to kill the audience. Okay? Go! (Pirate and Pirinja start circling each other.)
Pirate: Ya know the downside to being part ninja?
Pirinja: What?
Pirate: You have to honor your agreements. (Runs away.)
Pirinja: What? Hey, get back here! (Chases)
(Enter Ninja dragging a cage.)
Ninja: Pirinja!
Pirinja: WHAT NOW!?
Ninja: (Holds up a bottle of sake) Lookie what I got!
Pirinja: (walking in trance towards sake) Curses! My ninja heritage and pirate nature come together in one perfect bottle!
Ninja: (throws booze in a cage) That way, Pirinja. The booze is that way.
Pirate: (pokes up his head from the back row) Booze? (rushes up to cage as Pirinja is entering it.)
Ninja: No, Pirate! (tries to stop him, but is pulled in as well. The door swings shut and locks behind them.) Dang it!
Pirinja: (fighting over the sake with Pirate) It's mine!
Pirate: Booze!
Friar Know-It-All: Cage Match!
The Wolf: Go, Pirate!
Fairy Godmother: Come on, Pirinja!
Crowd: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Ninja: Wait a minute!
All: Huh?
Ninja: Why are we even fighting? Without us, the theater would be dull and boring. No one can replace Ninjas in the theater, we're the driving force of the tech crew. And without Pirates we'd have no humor. And Pirinja, you embody the idea that opposites can work together in an efficient, intelligent, and highly insane manner with pride. We shouldn't be fighting each other. Together, the three of us could do anything.
Pirinja: We could rule the world.
Pirate: Or at least Manhattan.
Ninja: That's why we need to put our differences behind us and work together. We are what makes the theater everything we love. Entertaining. Dramatic. Spontaneous. Fun!
(Crowd claps in agreement. Ninja opens the cage and they climb out.)
(moment of silence)
Pirate: Well, If we don't fight, what do we do?
(moment of silence)
Pirinja: Shadow Puppets?
(moment of silence)
Ninja: Okay.
Pirate: Shadow Puppets!
All: (clatter offstage) Shadow Puppets!!!
(Lights Fade Out)
The End
Special Thanks:
Pirate Pirinja
(Michael) (Akaishi)
Ten Second Switch by ShinjitsuShomeiWatch
©2008-2016 ShinjitsuShomei
This is a comical screenplay written for theater people.
There are ten scenes. The format is annoying as hell but at least it's up now.
Enjoy the insanity.
EDIT: just fixing some minor issues.
There are ten scenes. The format is annoying as hell but at least it's up now.
Enjoy the insanity.
EDIT: just fixing some minor issues.


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"Don't tear down a fence until you know why it was put up".
African Proverb
The recent kidnapping of 300 Nigerian school girls has captured the attention of the entire world. Various countries have vowed to help in locating the girls . "The United States has deployed surveillance drones, spy planes and about 30 civilian and military specialists to support Nigeria's security forces in the search for the missing girls" http://www.usatoday.com/staff/781/doug-stanglin/2014.
However; as of this date, news reports show that the Nigerian government knows the whereabouts of the girls but will not act on this information due to fear of the girls being killed by their kidnappers; the Islamist Boko Haram
With the media coverage of this atrocity, also comes the atrocious comments of the public. It is so very unfortunate that some people are given an open forum to articulate their lack of knowledge.
One comment from a reader posted in a local media outlet stated that he thought African men were different from black men in America...but "...I guess not, black men all over the world do their women the same"...[kidnap, rape, and kill]. These racially charged comments put a furrow in this Examiner's brow that will not go away.
The faceless racist commentator was not alone in his callousness. Another comment regarding the same issue indicated that all Africans are like [savages].
As an educator, this writer has attempted to eradicate ignorance by stressing the power of knowledge in middle school classrooms, high school, and college; as well as with juvenile offenders on intensive probation with Wayne County.
The lesson
Let us be perfectly clear, Africa is a continent, not a country. To this end, diversity among its inhabitants is as prevalent as diversity is among the inhabitants of the European continent. It would be irresponsible to say that all men in Europe are the same; such as, Italians and Englishmen are all chauvinists.
Nor would it be without prejudice to say that all European white males are like all American white males.
The media contributes to the misconception and tall tales about Africa when they constantly refer to Africa as one big homogeneous populous. "Many public figures and journalists have no problem describing someone from Botswana and a person from Mauritania as "Africans" http://www.theguardian.com/world/mauritania, 2014.
Lucy Jarosz (1992) argues that the"... historical persistence and the ideological metaphor of referring to Africa as the Dark Continent [also] identifies and incorporates an entire continent as "Other" in a way that reaffirms Western dominance and reveals hostile and racist [connotations]of Africa and Africans...".
Jarosz maintains that the "... metaphor homogenizes and flattens places and people, denies the actualities and specificities of social and economic processes which transform the continent".
As a child my parents hosted an exchange student from Nigeria West Africa. He was one of the jolliest and pleasant people I have ever encountered. His command of the English language and his knowledge of Western society was a testament to his cognitive prowess and ethnic tolerance.
He could speak with the clicking sound of his native language and his colorful dress and artifacts have been engraved in my memory.
The truth
According to the website http://www.lonelyplanet.com/africa#ixzz3381gjzUD,
parts of Africa boast scenery so spectacular that it would blow one's mind. Yet, the essence of this incredible continent is not in any desert, mountain or lake. It is the spirit of the people – the honesty, warm-heartedness and vitality of the African people.
Africa is a fantastic, enlightening, surprising, and intriguing continent.
Still, there are places in Africa that are continuously being ravaged and destroyed by internal conflicts. Yet, for a continent of one billion people three times the size of the US, it can be misleading to call it by one single name – "Africa"!...When a civil war starts in the Central African Republic, it can negatively impact countries as far away as Senegal and Lesotho, but this does not suggest that the entire continent is at war .http://africaisntacountry.herokuapp.com/
My former co-worker's mother use to say that "Ignorance is a robber". And this writer maintains that knowledge is power. The NAACP advocates that "A mind is a terrible thing to waste". To this end; the people who elect to place ignorant comments on public media's, lack the power to transform knowledge into nothing more than mindless unintelligible prejudgments.
The abducted Nigerian school girls were stolen from one country in Africa. Their fate remains unsure but their current circumstances is an international tragedy and anyone that elects to belittle or make jest of the situation lacks the human component in the construct of being humane.
Jarosz, L. Constructing the Dark Continent: Metaphor as Geographic Representation of Africa. Geografiska Annaler. Series B, Human Geography Vol. 74, No. 2 (1992), pp. 105-115

subset: commoncrawl


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FotoDC Presents the 5th Anniversary FotoWeekDC Festival – November 9-18, 2012
What began in 2008 as a week-long local photography festival has grown into a year-long, international commitment to the medium. While the venues, categories, and events offerings have evolved with each year, dedication to the FotoDC/FotoWeekDC missionremains constant: to provide exposure for photographers and make diverse, high-quality photography accessible through exhibitions and collaborations.
Now in its fifth year, the 2012 FotoWeek DC Festival features a new platform of events, exhibits, partnerships, and learning opportunities all over the city. FotoWeek Central, homebase for all things FotoWeek DC, comprises 40,000 square-feet of exhibit space in our nation's capital and will host the Benefit Launch Party, the FotoWeek Central Lecture Series, the FotoBooks exhibit, and more than ten full-scale exhibits by the 2012 International Awards Competition finalists, Uncover/Discover 2012 winners, Photo Philanthropy, Flak Photo, and Reporters Without Borders/Magnum Photo Agency, just to name a few. Festival passes cost just $5 and offer unlimited entry to FotoWeek Central (tickets at the door will cost $7).
The Goethe-Institut will be the home to the Portfolio Reviews, a festival mainstay, FotoWeek EDU, a new series of seminars, and the winners of the FotoBook competition. Portfolio reviews offer the opportunity for photographers of all levels to receive critical feedback and insight on their best work from experienced professionals during a 25-minute session. Registration costs $75/session and is now open – take a look at the reviewer bios and select the best match for your own style and photographic goals.FotoWeek EDU Seminars bring industry experts and photography leaders to share their knowledge, techniques, and unique approaches in the areas of photojournalism, storytelling, presentation, self-publishing, marketing, and more. Tickets for each session cost $165 and include access to evening meet-and-greet cocktail receptions that follow each seminar. Then, it's a wrap! Review and unwind at the Closing Party on Saturday, November 17, held at the former Spanish Ambassador's Residence, and toast the close of another successful festival.
Want to come to FotoWeekDC from out of town? No problem! FotoDC's new partnership with Destination DC, the official tourism corporation for Washington, DC, includes hotel packages starting at $94.99 per night for the duration of FotoWeekDC (November 9-18, 2012). The ten participating hotels gift each room occupant with an extra incentive to explore the city: a $10 Metro SmarTrip card. Participating hotels include: Comfort Inn and Suites near Union Station, Helix, a Kimpton Hotel, The Dupont Circle Hotel, and The St. Regis Washington, D.C., and more. Please visit FotoWeekDC.org for more information.
Stay tuned for more information on FotoWeek By Night and even more events and programs as they are finalized and added to the new-and-improved festival calendar.
(Sponsored Post)


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Web Accessibility Guidelines
These Web Accessibility Guidlines can be printed as a checklist.
The Web Accessibility Task Force has created these Web Accessibility Guidelines to help faculty and staff develop or modify Web-based course material, lectures, and assignments in an accessible way. In order to use this checklist effectively, you will need to have some knowledge of HTML or experience using an HTML editor such as Dreamweaver.
If you use images, use the Alt tag to provide a clear text alternative. Descriptive Alt text should let the user know what an image is and the purpose of that image.
Alt Tags and Images
Allow for sufficient contrast between colors on a page and ensure that information conveyed by the use of color is understandable without color.
Color Contrast
Every link should indicate where it is going to take the user. Specific link names and the title attribute will help the user know what will happen when they click on the link.
Explanatory Links
If you use audio or video files, provide a description/transcript in text form. It can be on the same page, or a hyperlink to a separate page can be placed near the clip.
Audio and Video Files
If you use motion or animation, make sure that it's necessary. If it is, be sure to provide an alternate text description that clearly communicates the action and its purpose.
Motion and Animation
Enable activation of page elements via keyboard or voice input, not just a pointing device, such as a mouse.
If you use tables, be sure they make sense when read left to right, top to bottom. Identify, by labeling or other appropriate means, row and column headers.
If you use frames, clearly title each frame. Use the TITLE attribute to facilitate navigation and frame identification.
If you use forms, clearly associate form labels with their elements by placing them immediately above or to the left of the element.
If you use scripts or applets, make sure the pages retain their full meaning with scripts turned off and in browsers that don't support scripts. If a page does lose its meaning without a script, provide a way to compensate for it.
Scripts and Applets
If you use multiple languages, use the LANG attribute for screen readers and braille displays that support it and provide an audio alternative for each clip.
Multiple Languages


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This is a discussion on BAD - Convicted Rapist Rapes Woman After Release within the In the News: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Originally Posted by ccw9mm Sodium thiopental, pancuronium bromide and potassium chloride work just fine when administered properly. True, and it's a rather excellent, PERMANENT cure ...
Don't frisk me, I am the weapon.
Sig Sauer P239 DAK (9mm)
NRA Member & Pistol Instructor
Come on guys have a heart. There are still thousands of undetected land mines around the world in war torn countries. Why spend money to develop a minesweeper when you can just have a lottery. If you find 100 land mines to neutralize, then you get to go a free man. Have at 'em.
Originally Posted by ccw9mm
Sodium thiopental, pancuronium bromide and potassium chloride work just fine when administered properly.
So does a 124-180 grain 'pill' applied at the back of the head. Probably cheaper, too.
I worked sex crimes for 5 years, and had plenty of "conversations" with sex offenders. Thinking one will stop raping/molesting just because he got "punished" with jail is like thinking any other human will cease all sexual behavior just because they got caught and punished. Difference is that sex offenders do not have the fear of punishment everyone else does, and many have less than zero guilt to make them want to change. So many regular people just cannot seem to understand that, because regular people are not sociopaths...or they might not be on jury duty to start with! Then there is this other difference about the whole sex/violence thing being wrapped together like a rope in their brains. I'm thinking the recidivism rate, if you figured in the ones that didn't get caught, would be ALL of 'em.
What Would Gumby Do?
A wiser man than I put it well:
1) Tall tree
2) Short rope
3) Some assembly required
"Deine Papieren bitte?" or "ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ !"
(Choose only one)
NRA Endowment Member
"I bark at no man's bid. I will never come and go, and fetch and carry, at the whistle of the great man in the White House no matter who he is." -- David Crockett
Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
Reason over Force: Why the Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
Don't frisk me, I am the weapon.
Sig Sauer P239 DAK (9mm)
NRA Member & Pistol Instructor
I used to live in Wauchula, over in Hardee County. I hated going to the cities.


text:
I guess this is probably asked before but I can not find it.
Let $X$ be a Banach space, and let $\ell x = 0$ for all $\ell \in X'$. Then $x = 0$
If all projections $\pi_\alpha x = 0$ and hence get "all coordinates" equal zero. But that probably not hold and I read you need Hahn-banach to prove it.


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Disease Proof
Michael Pollan Now!
MICHAEL POLLAN: Nutritionism is the prevailing ideology in the whole world of food. And it's not a science. It is an ideology. And like most ideologies, it is a set of assumptions about how the world works that we're totally unaware of. And nutritionism, there's a few fundamental tenets to it. One is that food is a collection of nutrients, that basically the sum of—you know, food is the sum of the nutrients it contains. The other is that since the nutrient is the key unit and, as ordinary people, we can't see or taste or feel nutrients, we need experts to help us design our foods and tell us how to eat.Nutritionism is a cool concept. Eat for nutrients. Dr. Fuhrman's nutritarian lifestyle is very similar. Remember the equation? No! Okay, here it is again:
Another assumption of nutritionism is that you can measure these nutrients and you know what they're doing, that we know what cholesterol is and what it does in our body or what an antioxidant is. And that's a dubious proposition.
And the last premise of nutritionism is that the whole point of eating is to advance your physical health and that that's what we go to the store for, that's what we're buying. And that's also a very dubious idea. If you go around the world, people eat for a great many reasons besides, you know, the medicinal reason. I mean, they eat for pleasure, they eat for community and family and identity and all these things. But we've put that aside with this obsession with nutrition.
And I basically think it's a pernicious ideology. I mean, I don't think it's really helping us. If there was a trade-off, if looking at food this way made us so much healthier, great. But in fact, since we've been looking at food this way, our health has gotten worse and worse.
Health = Nutrition / CaloriesThe longer you eat a nutrient-dense vegetable-based diet, the more this equation becomes basic instinct—you know? Oh! And Dr. Fuhrman had some interesting comments about Michael Pollan and his work. Have a look:
Many of Michael Pollan's points are interesting and valid, but some discourage people to look to science as motivation to direct healthier eating styles and lifestyles. It almost seems as if his statements support a false view that what you eat does not matter much, when in fact, we have tremendous control our health destiny via nutritional excellence. As I always say, "Nutrition is the prescription." And Michael Pollen, I think, would support that high nutrient natural foods, not supplements is the key to good health.Speaking of high nutrient natural foods, I just had a fantastic mango!
Was a terrific interview with Mr Pollan, Amy Goodmans show is always worth the watch. Glad to see she gave him some time to articulate at length. Thanks for posting Gerry !
Michael Pollan makes some good points and some not so good points. One good point is that we need the emotional and skin to skin connection with the people who grow our food. It's nice to get mangoes from the tropics in January, but it's even better to get collards from the farmer down the road. I do not believe that a 'supermarket culture' of food is ever going to be completely successful.
Some not so good points. Pollan thinks that we can simply pick a food culture, almost any culture, and substitute it for the Western diet and do fine. The problem with that is that many traditional cultures valued very highly substances which, in large quantity, are deadly. Look at how cultures all the way back to the stone age worshipped psychoactive drugs. Of course, they surrounded drug use with religious ritual and community rules. If you take that value system and put it in a world where psychoactive drugs can be manufactured very cheaply, the combination of worshipping the drug and the cheapness of the drug can be deadly. Likewise, our stone age ancestor gave thanks when they killed a relatively fat game animal, because it relieved them of the necessity of searching constantly for energy (calories) from less dense sources. But if we carry that same attitude into a world of feed lot cattle and cheap cheese, we get in trouble quickly.
Almost every animal that ever evolved has gone extinct. Humans are still around, in an environment we did not evolve to live in, at least partly because we have intelligence which gives us the capacity to adapt to the changing environment. So far, we aren't adapting very well to the abundance of cheap calories brought by science and technology. So we have little alternative but to try to apply what we do know in order to make intelligent choices. I think that Dr. Fuhrman hits the correct note when he strikes a balance between those who think that nutrition comes from a pink pill and those who think that we can simply eat the way some traditional society ate--not because they wanted to eat that way, but because they didn't have the science and technology to give them more abundance of the feast foods and drugs they valued so highly.
In his conversation with Amy Goodman, Mr. Pollan repeated a statement from In Defense of Food to the effect that there seems to be no link between intake of dietary cholesterol and blood serum cholesterol. I found that somewhat surprising and would be very interested to know Dr. Fuhrman's perspective on the presence or absence---and if present, the strength---of such a link. I don't have Eat to Live handy, but my recollection from it (and other books by Drs. Esselstyn, Macdougall, etc.) is that such a link has been recognized.
Hey Josh-
I'm giving you some homework. Sniff around the cholesterol or cardiovascular category, you'll find something. ;)
Suite 408


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20th July 2010
PJ Entertainments today signed an exclusive deal with Odeon Cinemas UK to exhibit Malayalam films across the Odeon screen network.
ODEON is the largest cinema chain in the UK, with over one hundred cinemas. ODEON entertain more people in the UK than any other cinema chain accounting for nearly a third of all tickets sold in the UK.
The partnership with Odeon Cinemas will extend the current list of screening centres by a further 12. Latest releases "Mummy and Me" as well as "Oru Naal Varum" will be playing shortly at selected Odeon Cinema sites.
No related posts.


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In Historic Cape May, Some Choose to Stay
CAPE MAY, N.J. — Many streets in the heart of this landmarked resort town have flooded in advance of Hurricane Sandy, and some residents said Monday that the plan to stay put.
As of 9 a.m., the ocean waves hadn't yet breached the sea wall. But there were some downed power lines and other signs of damage in areas around the town of 3,600 people. Cape May and the barrier islands of New Jersey have been under mandatory evacuation orders since 4 p.m. Sunday.
Most of the 19th century framed buildings in downtown Cape May, famed for their ornate, Victorian touches and multi-colored paint, were dark Monday morning, with fall leaves gathered around their wooden fences.
Emma Gowen, 72 years old, said she has lived in Cape May for 60 years and doesn't plan to leave yet. With a full supply of candles and a freezer full of fish, she said she would stat home and reassess the situation in the afternoon. She predicted the storm would turn away from the historic town.
The worst storm she has experienced was Hurricane Agnes in 1972. "I remember that," she said. "We were wading around the town and the electric was going, 'Zzzit! Zzzit!'"
Jonathan Sachar, 49, a movie producer and former real-estate developer, had to stick around to tend the dozen sheep on his parents' 15-acre farm and lead them to higher ground. "It's something I need to check on," he said. "They've weathered the storms before."
Steve McCullough, a commercial fisherman, walked his five-month-old puppy on the boardwalk in the morning. "This is going to be a good one," he said. "Probably up in the top five I've seen come by here."
McCullough said he felt safe in his second-floor home with a generator, food and water. He left during Hurricane Gloria in 1985, but when he came back and only found a few downed branches, he felt it wasn't worth evacuating.
"I'm going to ride it out and see what happens," he said. "I'm just going to hunker down and hope for the best."


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John Paul Skorupan
Position: LB
Height: 6-2 Weight: 222 lbs.
Born: May 17, 1951 in Beaver, PA
High School: Beaver
College: Penn St. (school history) (Skorupan college stats)
Drafted by the Buffalo Bills in the 6th round (136th overall) of the 1973 NFL Draft.
Weighted Career AV (100-95-...): 27 (3730th overall since 1950)
Like this page? Sponsor it for $5. Your message will replace this ad.
1980 Game Log: Regular Season · Playoffs · vs.


text:
Joined IHG® Rewards Club at a Hotel?
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Once you complete your Reward Night reservation you will be given the option to duplicate this reservation.
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To book more than 9 rooms for one stay or request a quote, please use our Easy Meetings tool, call 1-800-MEETING (in United States, Mexico and Canada) or contact a Global Sales Office.
Located off Highway 63 in northeastern Missouri is where you'll find the Holiday Inn Express® Hotel Kirksville. The hotel's guests enjoy our central location for every attraction and business in the city and appreciate convenient amenities like complimentary wired and wireless Internet access.
If you're in town to speak at the local institutions or meet with professors, you'll be happy to know that A. T. Still University and
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If you're in town to speak at the local institutions or meet with professors, you'll be happy to know that A. T. Still University and Truman State University are close to the hotel's location in Kirksville, MO. Patrons can host their events on site in the 450-sq-ft meeting room, and prepare for presentations in the Business Center with a personal computer and printer.
When you're done working, head over to one of the campuses for nightly events. Those interested in local history may want to visit the Adair County Historical Society Museum while art lovers can tour the galleries at TSU or the Kirksville Arts Center in downtown Kirksville, MO. The hotel's also just a short drive from the lush, colorful forest in Thousand Hills State Park.
As one of the best hotels in Kirksville, MO, we offer the free, hot Express Start Breakfast Bar each morning, serving favorites like our signature cinnamon rolls and Smart Roast coffee. In addition, visitors can keep up with their workout routine in the Fitness Center or cool off from the day in the indoor pool. We look forward to your next stay with us.


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For the record: I personally believe that market timing is folly, that "cash is a drug" and that people must always guard against their biological urge to buy high and sell low.
Also for the record: I believe we are in the midst of a sustainable rally and that stocks are the place to be for the long-term — because hints that the bear market is at an end, because the "great rotation" into stocks seems not be a question of "if" but a question of "when," and because there are simply no good alternatives to equities right now.
All that said … stocks are in for a bumpy ride in the near-term. So it might be time to keep your powder dry if you're a long-term investor looking for new moves, and to go "risk off" with your portfolio if you're a short-term trader.
Here's why:
Insiders Are Bearish: Corporate insiders are selling stock at the fastest clip since late July 2011, according to some reports. The S&P 500 crashed 15% in a matter of weeks soon after that point — and it took the index about seven months to claw back those losses before moving higher. Sure, insiders might just be trying to take a little bit of profit while their company stock is at multiyear highs … but it could be more than that.
Valuations Are High: And whether you're an insider or not, it's worth looking at your own portfolio and considering how your stocks are valued vs. historical norms. The S&P 500 has a trailing 12-month price-to-earnings ratio of 17.9 as of this writing vs. 15.1 a year ago; the Nasdaq-100 has a P/E of 16.6 vs. 11.1 a year ago; the Dow Industrials have a P/E of 15.4 vs. 14.4 a year ago. These figures are high not only compared to recent valuations, but also to historical norms.
Stocks Are Too Fashionable: The record flow of more than $77 billion to equity mutual funds and ETFs in January should be cause for concern. It's good to see retail investors getting back in the game, but one should always be skeptical of the running of the herd because it frequently prefaces a move the other way.
Even Bulls Expect a Break: If you are one of those bears who refuses to capitulate, that's one thing. But even bulls admit that after a great (but choppy) run of 25% for the S&P across 18 months, it might be time to take a breather and let the data and valuations come back to reality. Lance Roberts of Street Talk Live has a great group of charts on this topic, looking at stocks vs. GDP and earnings and more — and all hint that we are due for the "next major stock market correction (that) will likely be the last for this cycle."
Overbought Across the Board: Aside from technology — which has seen some laggards lately including Apple (NASDAQ:AAPL) and Microsoft (NASDAQ:MSFT), to name a couple — data from Bespoke Investment Group shows every other sector of the market looks overbought in regards to deviation from 50-day moving averages. This is not a sure-fire sign of a crash because prices could keep trending up and resolve the moving average dilemma over time … but the alternative is for prices to correct. And as Bespoke puts it, the overbought nature of stocks mean that "it has a long way to fall before even sniffing oversold levels" should a correction start.
Earnings (or Lack Thereof): According to FactSet, the S&P's blended profit growth (reflecting both current earnings and upcoming forecasts) is just 4% for Q4 2012. Sure, that's better than a contraction in Q3 … but it's the second-lowest growth rate in three years, behind only the lackluster period that preceded it. Call me old-fashioned, but I get nervous when profits are flat-lining but the market continually pushes higher.
War and Oil: It's impossible to do anything other than speculate wildly about the geopolitical risks of the Middle East, but any informed observer should admit that there is the possibility of big economic and energy disruption if any number of things go south in the region. From Egypt to Syria to Mali to the constant saber-rattling in Iran, there's a lot at play here. Oil is already hovering around the $100 mark, and with the Middle East and North Africa accounting for about 40% of global petroleum output in 2012, it won't take much to send energy prices much higher — negatively impacting consumers and businesses.
State of the Union Tensions: The bears love to hate on federal spending, Washington politics and often President Obama in particular. There's a persistent fear that we are only one soundbite away from a gap down — with one Raymond James strategist predicting a 5% to 7% move down, according to Business Insider.
Sequester Shenanigans: The fiscal cliff actually was quite a nonevent, since Republicans lacked leverage and had to strike a modest deal on taxes to prevent automatic increases that were much worse. Same with the debt ceiling, which was resolved quickly and painlessly. However, the March 1 sequestration deadline is much different. After caving in twice in a row, the GOP will feel the need to make a stand — perhaps even allowing $1.2 trillion in automatic spending cuts to take place just to prove they have backbone. That could severely restrict economic growth as well as rattle markets.
This is not to say I advocate going to cash and hiding in a bunker, or that I think there aren't some decent values right now for long-term investors. However, it's worth noting the short-term downtrend even if you're not a swing trader because you might want to draw down any positions you're thinking of selling sooner rather than later … and keep that cash at the ready for the dip when it comes.
Related Reading
- Of course, the dip could be much more than short lived … with some pundits gloomy through 2018 and others warning that January's gains will go up in smoke by year's end. (Telegraph and Business Insider)
- And who knows where things will go, since the charts show a 100% stone-cold case for the bulls … as well as a guaranteed crash for the bears. Oh well. (Slope of Hope)
- The volatility has taken the fun out of stocks for some investment clubs. (WSJ)
- Barry Ritholtz weighs in on whether the secular bear market is ending. (The Big Picture)
- The real question long-term investors should ask isn't "risk on or risk off," but a more philosophical one about the nature of their portfolio. (Bucks Blog via NYT)
Jeff Reeves is the editor of InvestorPlace.com and the author of "The Frugal Investor's Guide to Finding Great Stocks." Write him at firstname.lastname@example.com or follow him on Twitter via @JeffReevesIP.


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Ubisoft's trademark for the highly anticipated title Watch Dogs has been reinstated by the United States Patent and Trademark Office after the agency found an abandonment request had been faked, according to a report today from VG 24/7.
Ubisoft had urged the Patent and Trademark Office to reestablish the valuable trademark for Watch Dogs, which the agency obliged due to the "extraordinary" circumstances surrounding the case.
"An uknown party who lacked authority executed the purported abandonment of the application," the Patent and Trademark office said in its filling. "Although the request appears to have been sent by petitioner, petitioner declared that it did not submit the request and has every reason to believe that this filing was fraudulent."
The Patent and Trademark office granted the reinstatement, but the abandonment will remain part of the trademark's record despite it having no effect.
The faked abandonment happened earlier this week, according to a previous VG 24/7 report, after which Ubisoft filed the petition to reinstate the trademark after Ubisoft CEO Yves Guillemot said he did not sign the abandonment request.
"Mr. Guillemot, however, did not sign the Request for Express Abandonment, nor did Ubisoft Entertainment file the Request for Express Abandonment," Ubisoft said earlier this week. The Request for Express Abandonment is fraudulent and was not filed by Ubisoft Entertainment or its representative.
Watch Dogs is scheduled to launch for the PlayStation 3, PS4, Xbox 360, Xbox One, PC and Wii U within the next few months.
One online retailer put the title down for an April 30 launch. You can read more of that Examiner report by clicking here.


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Web technology saves the day again!
Live video webcasts will enable deployed servicemembers to see their high school graduating senior cross the stage and view student messages recorded for the occasion. The collective effort is intended to give graduating students and deployed parents the opportunity to share in this life event.
The Department of Defense Dependents Schools – Europe, U.S. Army Europe, and the U.S. Army 5th Signal Command have combined assets, talents, and technologies to enable the live video streaming. The effort will allow 14 graduation ceremonies to be viewed by an estimated 125 deployed parents in Iraq, Afghanistan, and other locations around the world.
The first graduation ceremony will be webcast on June 10 from Naples, Italy, with four additional ceremonies occurring around Europe on this day. Five graduation ceremonies will take place on June 11. Two ceremonies will be webcast on Saturday and two ceremonies on Sunday. The last webcast occurs on the evening of June 13 from Vicenza, Italy.
Website: www.doddsegrads.net
Username: 2010grads
Password: lucky2010


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Southbury, CT
October 2012
10 responses
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Very cool!!
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Stunning detail.
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excellent work...
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I love this shot! just Amazing!
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terrific detail. I'm glad to have found your photos!!
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text:
- Color
- Norma
Brilliant Shine. Intense Color.
Outrageously lustrous color meets serious shine. Stay-in-place dramatic shade glides on smoothly and evenly for lips that are more luminous and voluminous than ever before. Long-lasting, high-shine hues are infused with ingredients to nourish and fight free radicals while natural lip enhancers pump up the volume. A new, shorter bristle brush delivers the most precise application possible. However you want to express yourself, Larger Than Life Lip Gloss says it boldly, brilliantly, brazenly.
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- Anytime
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Comments about NARS Larger Than Life Lip Gloss, Norma, .19 oz:
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- Skin Tone:
- Fair
Bottom Line No, I would not recommend this to a friend
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text: It seems that a sacramento man shot one suspect and stoped a home invation.At 4:30 this afternoon he heard a sound like some one was breaking into his house and got his weapon after the bg's enterd his house he shot one who servived by retreating to a car it was a female black woman and a black male. the male ran when the shooting started. this is all that was on the news as of now since it just took place will post more as it comes out


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2001 (Cross-Country): Led Washington to a 14th-place finish at the NCAA Championship meet, earning All-America honors with a 35th-place individual finish, in 21:24 ... ran in all seven meets, and led the squad at each postseason competition ... placed in the top-10 overall at five of seven meets ... just a freshman, placed sixth at the Pac-10 Championship meet in 20:56 ... conference finish was the eighth-best in school history ... was 11th overall at the NCAA West Regional Championships, spurring the Huskies to a fourth-place team finish ... at the Pre-National meet, against 21 of the nation's top 25 teams, placed 10th overall in 21:09, leading Washington to fifth-place ... was second only to meet record-holder Sabrina Monro at the Sundodger Invitational, crossing the line in a 5000m-best 16:58 to help Washington to victory ... time was the fourth-fastest in Sundodger meet history ... was sixth overall at the Roy Griak Invitational in Minneapolis, recording a 6000m PR of 20:54 ... placed third-overall in her first-career race, the Emerald City Invitational.
High School and Personal: Born Nov. 8, 1982 in Atlanta ... parents are Donna and Ron ... twin sister, Jamie, joins Lisa on the Husky squad ... has two younger siblings, Gibby and Danny ... only competed in cross country for two seasons, capturing league and regional titles each year ... finished 13th at the Colorado state cross country meet in 1999 and 2000 ... placed 20th at the 2000 Footlocker Midwest Regional meet... went on to win the 2001 Simplot Games Indoor Championship in the 3200m with a time of 10:59.74 in Pocatello, Idaho... earned three top-10 finishes at the Colorado state track meet, including a pair of third-place finishes in 2001 (3200m and 1600m) ... a two-time All-State honoree in the 1600m and 3200m ... claims personal bests of 5:03 (1600m) and 10:59 (3200m) ... personal best 5000m cross country time is 18:01 ... holds five Arvada West school records, including th 1600m, 3200m, and three relays ... shared high school valedictorian honors with her sister, finishing with a 4.0 GPA ... upon graduation, inducted into the school's Hall of Fame.
Personal Best Marks
1600m....... 5:03
3200m….... 10:59
XC: 5000m……. 16:58
6000m....... 20:54


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MEDINA — An insurance agent who used to own a Medina firm was sentenced to seven years in prison Monday for bilking about $685,000 from nine clients.
Damon Bryan, 41, pleaded guilty to two counts of theft and six counts of theft from the elderly. The crimes ranged from first- to fourth-degree felonies.
County Assistant Prosecutor Matt Razavi said most of the victims were elderly and all but one of them — Bryan's grandmother who lives in Nebraska — were from Northeast Ohio.
A county grand jury indicted Bryan in August on 27 counts of theft. But, the Medina County Prosecutor's Office agreed to drop 19 of the charges in exchange for Bryan's guilty pleas to the remaining counts. The Prosecutor's Office also recommended the seven-year sentence.
During sentencing, Common Pleas Judge Christopher J. Collier asked Bryan why he stole from his clients.
"I did this because I was weak, and I was sick, and I was taking the easy road," Bryan said. He told Collier he used the money to buy a camper and boat, Cleveland Cavaliers tickets, electronics for his home and other items.
Collier suggested that greed made Bryan take the money.
"When you become more important than anything else in the world, that's what greed is. That's what you are," Collier said.
Also Monday, Bryan's ex-wife, Terri Bryan, pleaded guilty and was sentenced to two years of probation for failing to report the thefts, a misdemeanor. Razavi said she learned about the thefts after they were committed.
Terri Bryan originally was indicted on 27 complicity to commit theft counts because her signature appeared on documents involved in the case, but the charges were dropped.
"The investigation had revealed that (Damon) had forged her name to documents and she had no involvement in the thefts," Razavi said.
Damon Bryan said in court Monday he invested his clients' money with annuity companies. He later would send letters that asked the companies to return some of the money and had the checks sent to him.
The Ohio Department of Insurance reported that it discovered the thefts when an insurance company reported suspicious activity in one of his accounts.
Jarrett Dunbar, spokesman for the Department of Insurance, said Monday the department began its investigation in October 2006. Dunbar said Bryan voluntarily surrendered his insurance license when the department brought the findings of its investigation to him in May 2007.
County Prosecutor Dean Holman said the Department of Insurance notified him about the case in 2007 and he awaited the results of the department's investigation before bringing charges against Bryan.
Shortly after he was indicted in August, however, Bryan fled to Bucerias, Mexico, where U.S. marshals apprehended him in November. He was taken to Arizona and extradited to Medina County in January.
Most of the money taken from Bryan's victims has been returned, the Prosecutor's Office reported. However, Collier read letters from several of the victims in which they said they are still affected by the theft. They said they lost interest on the money and are still expected to pay some taxes on it.
One victim called Bryan "the scum of the Earth" and another told Collier to hang him.
"I was ashamed of being taken advantage of. My husband would turn in his grave if he saw all the money he worked so hard for was being mishandled," one victim wrote.
Jody Potts-Hayes, of Wadsworth, whose great-aunt Loretta Pittman was swindled by Bryan, said Pittman trusted Bryan like a son.
"He just weaseled her in and made her think he was the answer to her prayers. She thought he was going to take her in; he was going to advise her and make the last of her days better," Potts-Hayes said in court.
Pittman died before Bryan admitted to the charges.
"She really just could not believe how badly he had taken advantage of her. In the end, she had just given up," Potts-Hayes said. "She had thought that he had just won."
Contact Maria Kacik at (330) 721-4049 or firstname.lastname@example.com.


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In a way, Couric seems to be weathering all this midlife change by opening up more than ever to her audience. On a September show about eating disorders, she revealed for the first time that in her twenties she struggled with bulimia. "I [was] asking people to reveal their innermost feelings about [this issue], and I actually know about it. I have had this issue; my sister Emily, who passed away, had this issue. So I thought, This is the time. I tried to do it in a way that wasn't, 'I had bulimia!' But just 'I had bulimia, and I know this mind game that goes on where if you don't adhere to this strict calorie restriction, it makes you feel really bad about yourself, and this vicious cycle kicks in.' " Her revelation was picked up by People, Us and Celebuzz. "I had no idea it would be a big bulletin," Couric says. "But I think it got traction because in a way people see me as somebody who has her shit together."
Certainly, that's part of her appeal. Many journalists display a whiff of condescension toward the people they probe, but for all her success, wealth and fame, Couric just wants to talk. She so obviously believes in story—her guests', her own, even her daughters'. Though she protects the girls' privacy, she encourages them to share what presses on their hearts. "There are moments where I crumble at the thought of my father, often unexpectedly," Ellie Monahan, now 21 and a senior at Yale, wrote last year for the Huffington Post. "I dread the annual father-daughter dance both in grade school and now in my sorority, a tradition my mother tried to abolish on behalf of all the fatherless daughters in my school . . . to no avail. One year I asked my mom if Brad Pitt could be a stand-in . . . Matt Lauer was a distant second. I ultimately decided to stay home."
So there it is. Rather than reporting storms from a newsroom, Couric weathers them, trying to figure out how and why we survive. After a late-afternoon meeting, she pulls her producer aside and says, "Get me out there!"—to the floods, the downed electrical lines, the blackouts. Couric knows she will be knee-deep in suffering. But that's where Couric's stories are. That is where her heart is.
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text:
…has it really been a month since my last post??? I've been incredibly busy wrapping up my final issue of
Posts Tagged 'Hipstamatic'
Holy wow!…
Venice Beach
I had a meeting in Culver City yesterday afternoon, so when it was done I decided to head a little
Shadow of a Dog
[photo ©2010 Andrea LaBarge Mills; shot on my iPhone using the Hipstamatic App
Slow Down!
Stephen and I got engaged just feet from this sign. I didn't realize it until months later. I'm glad we
Spring Skies
[photo ©Andrea LaBarge Mills; taken with my iPhone and the Hipstamatic app
The Last
I'm a little snap-happy with my iPhone lately. [photo ©Andrea LaBarge Mills; shot with my iPhone and the Hipstamatic app
No Room For Me
They always get to bed before I do, and there's never room left for me. It's so cute I can't


text:
Snails and deer poop
Parelaphostrongylus tenuis (brainworm) is a nematode that infects the brain of the white-tailed deer (Odocoileus virginianus). Although the nematode doesn't usually cause any apparent illness in deer, there is quite a bit of interest in its life history and transmission, because it can also infect caribou, reindeer, sheep, goats, etc., often leading to the death of those animals.
I have some interest in P. tenuis because terrestrial gastropods are the intermediate hosts of the nematode's larvae. The nematode larvae are found in deer feces and the snails are believed to get infected with the larvae when they crawl over the feces. Presumably, the nematodes pass on to the deer or the other animals when they ingest infected snails accidentally during browsing (I don't think the deer or the other susceptible animals eat snails intentionally).
Terrestrial gastropods don't seem to mind to supplement their diets with feces whenever the opportunity arises (for example, read this post and also this one). So, expectedly, several studies have examined the consumption of deer feces by snails. The most recent study that I am aware of is by Garvon & Bird, published in 2005. (Again, I haven't been that interested in this subject to have spent time searching for more recent papers.)
Garvon & Bird provide a brief review of the previous reports in the literature: one study claimed that the snails were repelled by fresh deer feces, but not weathered ones, while another study claimed that snails were repelled by deer feces containing P. tenuis larvae. The results of Garvon & Bird introduce further confusion. They found that the snail Anguispira alternata was attracted to fresh deer feces whether or not they contained P. tenuis larvae, although the snails seemed to prefer larvae-free feces to those containing larvae.
All of this popped in my mind late yesterday afternoon when I was passing by some deer poop in the woods. So I stopped to investigate.
But my poking around with a stick produced no snails. Perhaps I will have better luck in the spring and the summer.
Garvon, J.M. & Bird, J. 2005. Attraction of the land snail Anguispira alternata to fresh faeces of white-tailed deer: implications in the transmission of Parelaphostrongylus tenuis. Canadian Journal of Zoology 83:358–362.


text:
Google Maps Search: "
From Interstate 81:
I-81 to exit # 202, Tompkinsville. At bottom of ramp turn onto Rte. 107 East. Go east 3.5 miles to first Blinking stop light. This will be the intersection of Rte. 107 and Rte. 247. Turn left onto Rte 247 North. Proceed on 247 North to Rte 106, at blinking stop light. Proceed straight through intersection, continuing on Rte 247 north. At next blinking light, 247 will make a 90 degree turn to the right. Make turn and continue on 247 for 1 mile. Fern Hall will be on your left. Turn left into our driveway and pull up to the front door. If you miss the first driveway, you will see our sign on the left and there is a second chance driveway you can catch...use caution the turn is sharp for the second driveway.


text:
A church that welcomes people regardless of race, culture, or socioeconomic level.
A church that is determined to "go into the entire world and make disciples."
A church that is focused on strengthening and uniting families with the love of God.
A church that gives sound biblical instruction and guidance on unlocking one's God-ordained destiny.
A church where the necessity of prayer is taught and demonstrated.
A church that reaches beyond the four walls and into the world.
A church that is dedicated to training tomorrow's leaders today.


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Congratulations and welcome. Good luck I am excited you are here. I will be stopping by to see you soon! Until then Happy Grand Opening!
By Happy on 2014 05 23


text:
Externalizing Fine-grained Authorization
By gsahoo-Oracle on Jun 30, 2014
With a rise in compliance consideration, organizations are forced to ensure authorized access to application functions as well as data. Having entitlement logic hard wired into the application leads to following issues
- Applications bear almost one-fourth of code related to authorization
- Applications requires re-deployment, if the authorization conditions change over the time
- Authorization rules imposed by various applications in an organization are not coherent with respect to design and implementation which makes it hard to enforce corporate standards all along
Oracle Entitlement Server (OES) is one solution for externalizing authorization allowing applications to free from defining and implementing authorization policies.
A centralized authorization solution offers the reuse of authorization services to control multiple applications while making it easier for policy administrator to define policies in a single place while ensuring to abide by organizations' compliance and regulatory requirements. It helps organization to review their entitlements and accuracy against a corporate standard. Applications no more need to be modified or redeployed to adhere to new policy standard.
Overview of Oracle Entitlement Server
OES supports authorization solution to various platforms including Java SE, Java EE, .Net, SOA, content management and databases.
A typical OES model includes Policy Administration Point (PAP) where the policies are created and managed. Administrative server and management API represent the PAP. Rules and policies defined in PAP get distributed to Policy Decision Point (PDP) where the decision is made whether to allow or deny the request to a protected resource. Policies can be distributed to PDP in the flowing ways
- Push model – the distribution of polices is initiated by OES administrator and pushed to PDP. This model is the recommended model. In this model Policy Distribution component can communicate with many PDPs
- Controlled pull model - PDP pulls data from the policy store directly. PDP maintains a local cache and use it when policy store is offline
- Uncontrolled pull model - PDP pulls data from policy store directly. It does not maintain any local cache. Policy store must be online to service the authorization request
Policy Enforcement Point (PEP) intercepts any authorization request to a protected resource, passes to PDP and enforces decision received from PDP. PEP can be the application itself or a security module (combination of PEP and PDP).


text:
Permanent URL to this publication: http://dx.doi.org/10.5167/uzh-54501
Baur, K; Mertens, J C; Schmitt, J; Iwata, R; Stieger, B; Eloranta, J J; Frei, P; Stickel, F; Dill, M T; Seifert, Burkhardt; Bischoff Ferrari, H A; von Eckardstein, A; Bochud, P Y; Müllhaupt, B; Geier, A (2012). Combined effect of 25-OH vitamin D plasma levels and genetic Vitamin D Receptor (NR 1I1) variants on fibrosis progression rate in HCV patients. Liver International, 32(4):635-643.
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View at publisher
BACKGROUND: Decreased vitamin D levels have been described in various forms of chronic liver disease and associated with advanced fibrosis. Whether this association is a cause or consequence of advanced fibrosis remains unclear to date. AIMS: To analyse combined effects of 25-OH vitamin D plasma levels and vitamin D receptor gene (VDR; NR1I1) polymorphisms on fibrosis progression rate in HCV patients. METHODS: 251 HCV patients underwent VDR genotyping (bat-haplotype: BsmI rs1544410 C, ApaI rs7975232 A and TaqI rs731236 A). Plasma 25-OH vitamin D levels were quantified in a subgroup of 97 patients without advanced fibrosis. The VDR haplotype and genotypes as well as plasma 25-OH vitamin D levels were associated with fibrosis progression. RESULTS: The bAt[CCA]-haplotype was significantly associated with fibrosis progression >0.101 U/year (P = 0.007; OR = 2.02) and with cirrhosis (P = 0.022; OR = 1.84). Forty-five percent of bAt[CCA]-haplotype patients were rapid fibrosers, 21.1% were cirrhotic. Likewise, ApaI rs7975232 CC genotype was significantly associated with fibrosis progression and cirrhosis. Lower plasma 25-OH vitamin D levels were significantly associated with fibrosis progression >0.101 U/year in F0-2 patients (P = 0.013). Combined analysis of both variables revealed a highly significant additive effect on fibrosis progression with 45.5% rapid fibrosers for bAt[CCA]-haplotype and 25-OH vitamin D < 20 μg/L compared with only 9.1% for the most favourable combination (P = 0.006). In multivariate analysis, the bAt-haplotype was an independent risk factor for fibrosis progression (P = 0.001; OR = 2.83). CONCLUSION: Low 25-OH vitamin D plasma levels and the unfavourable VDR bAt[CCA]-haplotype are associated with rapid fibrosis progression in chronic HCV patients. In combination, both variables exert significant additive effects on fibrosis progression.
33 citations in Web of Science®
42 citations in Scopus®
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|Journal Article, refereed, original work
|Communities & Collections:
|04 Faculty of Medicine > University Hospital Zurich > Clinic for Geriatric Medicine
|Dewey Decimal Classification:
|360 Social problems & social services
610 Medicine & health
300 Social sciences, sociology & anthropology
540 Chemistry
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|16 Jan 2012 20:13
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text:
July 29, 2008 Warner Bros. devoted six months to an unprecedented anti-piracy strategy for the release of "The Dark Knight", and have deemed the 38 hour period between the film's premiere screening and its first appearance on file-sharing sites to be a success - keeping bootleg DVDs off the streets as the film racked up a record-breaking US$158.4 million on its all important opening weekend. Read More
February 23, 2007 - If you haven't heard about this game yet, you must be living under a virtual rock. We covered the release of the demo last month, but to sum things up, you're a cop with constantly evolving superhuman abilities, cleaning up crime in a city overrun by it. Today sees the game released on shelves worldwide, and our Games Editor has had a few days head-start to determine whether the cool premise was backed up by an equally cool game. Here's the scoop.Read More
January 23, 2007 [UPDATE: Read our full length review of the retail version] Crackdown is the latest brainchild of Dave Jones, whose prior masterpieces include smash hits such as Lemmings and Grand Theft Auto. Realtime Worlds have developed the title exclusively for Microsoft Game Studios and the Xbox 360, and a demo offering both single and multiplayer modes is set to hit the Xbox Live Marketplace later today.Read More
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text:
Rolf Frank Krueger
Position: DE-DT
Height: 6-4 Weight: 253 lbs.
Born: December 8, 1946 in Caldwell, TX
High School: Stephen F. Austin
College: Texas A&M (school history)
Drafted by the St. Louis Cardinals in the 2nd round (35th overall) of the 1969 NFL Draft.
Weighted Career AV (100-95-...): 23 (4315th overall since 1950)
Relatives: Brother of Charlie Krueger


text: Back to Event Calendar 24 Oct David Lazar Reading Time: 6:30 PM - 8:00 PM Location: St. Peter Claver, S. J. Hall Rm 120 Organization: CPS Admissions Description: Truth in Fiction: An Evening with David LazarJoin us to hear the groundbreaking essayist and founding editor of literary magazine Hotel Amerika. Lazar will read from his recently released book, Occasional Desire: EssaysContact Debbie Lloyd with questions at 800-944-7667 x 5743 or firstname.lastname@example.com. Add to My Calendar Scheduling Contacts Athletics 303.458.3591 Chapel 303.964.3661 Event Services 303.458.4143 Extension Campuses 303.458.4126 Library 303.458.4031


text:
While we're not exactly sure why any self-respecting ex-stoner would want to work for the DEA, the opportunity exists, nonetheless. The Drug Enforcement Administration's hiring policy allows former cannabis consumers to apply for employment as long as their past pot experience is confined to "limited youthful and experimental use of marijuana."
Cannabis is the only illegal substance the DEA tolerates potential staffers to have ever used. Even using otherwise legal drugs – like Adderall – without a prescription disqualifies one from becoming a DEA agent.
This surprising policy from a federal law enforcement agency that officially considers pot just as dangerous as drugs like heroin seems to imply that the agency doesn't really believe that pot is as dangerous as drugs like heroin. And the DEA is not alone. In 2007 the Washington Post reported that the FBI changed its hiring policy to permit past marijuana use by potential employees. Previously, anyone applying for a job at the FBI would be rejected if they used pot more than 15 times in their life. Under the new policy frequent pot use in the past isn't a deal breaker, however, applicants must swear they haven't smoked in the last three years.
Of course, once an applicant is hired as a soldier in the drug war, the party's over, as she/he will be regularly tested for all drugs – including pot – throughout their career.


text:
Welcome to U.S. Department of Commerce's Safety and Security Team website! This website is your resource for market research reports, trade leads, and event information designed to help you succeed internationally. Our worldwide team of Specialists, located throughout the Unites States at 100 Export Assistance Centers and in more than 72 U.S. Embassies and U.S. Consulates worldwide, are dedicated to help you increase your export sales. We are the safety and security industry's primary export assistance resource and should be your first point of contact if you are looking to develop your business abroad.
Our Specialists can help you understand global markets, develop international marketing plans, meet buyers at international trade shows, and much more. Learn more about what we can do for you:
If your company is not currently working with our team member at your local U.S. Export Assistance Center, please contact your local safety and security Specialist today to discuss your international business needs and learn how we can assist you with your export objectives.
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**NEW!! - For detailed country by country analysis of safety and security markets in over 52 countries, please see the 2013-2014 Safety and Security Resource Guide. Click the cover below to download a copy!
For our upcoming events, please click here
|Central America Business Development Conference -- Architectural/Constr./Engineering SVC, Building Products, Construction Eq., Medical Eq., Security/Safety Eq.
|Pre-Register for this event
|Event Summary:
The U.S. Commercial Service is organizing a trade mission in conjunction with the Opportunities in Central America Business Development Conference in San Jose, Costa Rica on July 15-19, 2013.
|Maria Rivera, San Salvador
Senior Commercial Specialist
Phone: 011 503 2501 2999 x 3060
|Jessica Gordon, Jackson
International Trade Specialist
Phone: (601) 373-0784
|Diego Gattesco, Wheeling
Senior International Trade Specialist
Phone: 304 243 5493


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Skydiving.com now has a network skydiving location serving Sussex and Sussex County in Virginia. Call Skydiving.com at 1-800-617-7948 for details, free information and specials on skydiving in Sussex, VA today!
Popular Tags for Skydiving Sussex:
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text: Young Singers of the Palm Beaches is Palm Beach County's premiere community-based children's choir. We are a multi-cultural, all inclusive arts education organization based centrally in West Palm Beach at the Raymond F. Kravis Center for the Performing Arts. Our current enrollment is comprised of over 350 singers in grades 2-12 from all parts of Palm Beach County's diverse racial, ethnic, geographic, and socio-economic communities.


text:
MN State Fair
By user12615793 on Sep 02, 2004
My wife and I took the day off yesterday to go to the Great Minnesota Get Together. Its otherwise known as the Minnesota State Fair. Its a good time to go watch people, pigs, sheep, cows, geese, rabbits, horses, chickens, and llamas. Its also not really a place to be on a diet.
So, starting with the food. Here's the list of what we ate, which is down from last year.
- Blueberry pancakes
- Corn Dogs (aka. Pronto Pups)
- Australian Potatoes
- Lots of Milk (at least half a gallon)
- Strawberry Malt
- Cheese Curds
- Reuben on a Stick
- Assorted soda's and water
We watched the Purina Incredible Dog Team Show which is also known as the Frisbee Dog Show. It sounds a bit of a stupid thing to do, but these dogs were pretty neat. They could jump 5 to 6 feet in the air, while catching Frisbee's. (I suppose since I don't know if they were true Frisbee's, I suppose that they should only be called flying disks.) Its was good, high-energy show.
We also took time to watch the show put on by the Minnesota Raptor Center from the University of Minnesota. They had a falcon, a Great Horned Owl, Barn Owl, a Kestrel (I think that's the name of it), and a Bald Eagle. It was a good, educational show.
The Big Pig was only 1220 lbs this year. Considering that the average pig, from what I remember doesn't get much bigger than 700-800 lbs, its still pretty big.
Of course I stuck my head into the Wonders of Technology building. Its alway good because usually 3M gives away something good, like duct tape. This year it was transparent Post-It Notes and a Mouse Pad. Still some good stuff.
Of course there were some politics going around. From my unofficial observations, there were more people around the John Kerry booth and wearing Kerry buttons than there were for the other guy.


text:
I have the following code:
letters = 'defghijklmno'
K = {letters[i]:(i*i-1) for i in range(len(letters))}
I understand that I'm iterating over the sequence variable of letters and how the value is calculated, but I'm confused over how the key gets set to the individual characters of the string. Especially because I have letters being indexed as my key. Basically, I'm just trying to figure out how python evaluates this expression


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The new Rainbow Warrior sails in to Auckland for the first time, where she was welcomed by Ngati Whatua. The first Rainbow Warrior was bombed in the cityÕs harbour by French secret service agents in 1985. The Greenpeace ship will be spending the next few weeks visiting ports around the country. Greenpeace/Nigel Marple
© Greenpeace/Nigel Marple
Help your cat join the CATavist movement against #badtuna at http://www.catsvsbadtuna.org and take action yourself at http://www.greenpeace.org/badtuna
The fishing communities of Kiribati, a Pacific nation comprising 33 small islands, speak about their loss of livelihood and erosion of their culture at the hands of destructive and oversized fishing vessels operating under European flags,...
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Support Us
PCC Farmland Trust is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit land trust. Donations to the Trust are 100% tax-deductible, and we rely primarily on individuals to fund our farmland preservation efforts.
Help us save local farmland forever. We are a nonprofit 501(c)(3) land trust independent of PCC Natural Markets, and the majority of our support comes from individuals in the community.
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PCC Farmland Trust is a registered 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization. Our Federal EIN number/ Tax ID is 91-2021165.


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Skydiving.com now has a network skydiving location serving Barry and Navarro County in Texas. Call Skydiving.com at 1-800-617-7948 for details, free information and specials on skydiving in Barry, TX today!
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The Rolling Stones performed to a sold out house at their first ever stop March 9 in Macau, China.
According to a news release posted March 9 at RollingStones.com, the legendary British rockers sizzled through a 19-song setlist at Macau's Cotai Arena - the fifth stop on their hugely successful 14 on Fire Tour.
Ex-Stone guitarist Mick Taylor received a good work out as special guest, playing acoustic guitar accompaniment on "Slipping Away," which features Keith Richards on lead vocals, prior to sizzling through "Midnight Rambler," as well as returning for the band's final encore, "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction."
Local guest artists the Chung Chi Choir of the Chinese University of Hong Kong were recruited to appear with The Stones on "You Can't Always Get What You Want," while "Get Off My Cloud"" was performed as Macau's favourite Stones' song in an online poll.
See below for the full setlist.
The next 14 On Fire stop is on March 12 in Shanghai, China at Mercedes-Benz Arena.
For more details, check out RollingStones.com.
Macau Setlist
Jumpin' Jack Flash
You Got Me Rocking
It's Only Rock 'N' Roll (But I Like It)
Tumbling Dice
Wild Horses
Doom And Gloom
Get Off Of My Cloud (Winner of the song vote)
Honky Tonk Woman
Slipping Away (with Keith on lead vocals and Mick Taylor on guitar)
Before They Make Me Run (with Keith on lead vocals)
Midnight Rambler (with Mick Taylor on guitar)
Miss You
Paint It Black
Gimme Shelter
Start Me Up
Sympathy For The Devil
Brown Sugar
You Can't Always Get What You Want (with the Chung Chi Choir of the Chinese University of Hong Kong)
(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction (with Mick Taylor on guitar)