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Good news for 90210 fans/ ABC Family announced today the pick-up of two half-hour comedy series "Mystery Girls," starring and executive produced by Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth.,Production will commence in Los Angeles in early 2014, and will premiere in 2014. They also approved Young and Hungry starring Emily Osment.
ABC Family President, Tom Ascheim said, "It's great to start the new year and my tenure at ABC Family with the pickup of these two funny original series. ABC Family's comedy lineup continues to resonate with our audience and I'm thrilled to boost that momentum by adding 'Mystery Girls' and 'Young & Hungry,' which are sure to become fan favorites."
"We are excited to expand our comedy brand with two new series that build on our already solid comedy block of hits, 'Melissa & Joey' and 'Baby Daddy,'" said Kate Juergens, Chief Creative Officer and Executive Vice President of Programming and Development, ABC Family. "Viewers are excited to see Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth back on television together again, and will fall in love with 'Young & Hungry' star Emily Osment in these comedies that bring us fun, new characters with which to laugh out loud."
"Mystery Girls," which stars Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth about two former detective TV show starlets brought back together by a real-life mystery. Charlie Contour (Garth) is a suburban housewife and mother, while Holly Hamilton (Spelling) longs for her glory days in the 90's when she was on television. Both of their lives are disrupted when Nick (Pinzon), a witness to a crime and a 'Mystery Girls' fanatic, will only speak to the Infamous duo, and the former friends must reunite and put their TV crime-solving skills to the test
. Tori Spelling ("Beverly Hills, 90210," "Tori & Dean: Inn Love"), Jennie Garth ("Beverly Hills, 90210," "What I Like About You") and Miguel Pinzon ("A New York Love Story") star in the series.
Tori Spelling, Jennie Garth and Maggie Malina ("Single Ladies") will serve as executive producers. The story by Tori Spelling and Shepard Boucher ("Men At Work") and the pilot was written by Shepard Boucher.
It will be nice to see Jenny and Tori together again and ABC Family is becoming one of the best cable stations for excellent drama and comedy.


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Boys Golf Marian's Makris named NIC MVP
SOUTH BEND — Marian junior Michael Makris is the Northern Indiana Conference boys golf MVP, and he's joined on the league's five-member first team by two players each from Central and Penn.
Junior Riley Keagle and senior Alex Brosh of the league tournament champion Blue Blazers are on the first unit. Seniors Connor Buckman and J.T. Schwartz from the league dual champion Kingsmen are first-teamers as well.
All-NIC Boys Golf
MVP: Michael Makris (Marian).
Coach of the Year: David Spaulding (Adams).
First team: Michael Makris (Marian, 2.81 scoring differential), Riley Keagle (Central, 3.19), Connor Buckman (Penn, 3.55), Alex Brosh (Central, 4.89), J.T. Schwartz (Penn, 4.95).
Second team: Alex Stopczynski (Marian, 5.37), Richard Jung (Penn, 5.49), Conner Isban (Marian, 5.57), John Herman (Mishawaka, 5.59), Nicholas Thurin (Penn, 5.64).
Area honorable mention: Matt Rozycki (Marian, 5.87), Sam Sheets (Central, 6.59).
Final overall standings: 1, Penn (8-0 dual, 324/2nd in tourney) 2 points; 2, Central (6-2, 320/1st) 3 pts; 3, Marian (7-1, 335/3rd) 4 pts; 4th (tie), SB St. Joseph (5-3, 357/5th) and SB Adams (4-4; 351/4th) 8 pts each; 6th, Mishawaka (3-5, 362/6th) 11 pts; 7th, SB Riley (2-6, 381/7th) 13 pts; 8th (tie), SB clay (1-7, 407/9th) and SB Washington (0-8, 399/8th) 16 pts each.

subset: commoncrawl


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The Canterbury Tales: The Reeve's Tale
by Geoffrey Chaucer
The Canterbury Tales: The Reeve's Tale Lines 213 – 252 Summary
- The miller goes inside again and says nothing to the clerks, but does his business and plays along with them until the corn is completely ground.
- When the meal is sacked and bound, John goes outside and finds his horse missing.
- He cries out, "Oh no!" and "Alas! Our horse is gone Aleyn! By God's bones, step on it, hurry! Alas, we've lost our warden's horse!"
- Aleyn completely forgets about both meal and corn; gone is his cautiousness and care.
- "What, which way has he gone?" he cries.
- The miller's wife comes running out of the house.
- She says, "Alas! Your horse has gone to the field to frolic with the wild mares, as quickly as he can."
- "A curse on the hand that tied him so ill, and he that should have wound the reins up more thoroughly!"
- "Alas," says John, "Aleyn, for Christ's sake, lay down your sword, as I will mine."
- "I am as fast as a deer; by God's heart, he will not escape us both!"
- "Why didn't you put him in the barn? By God, Aleyn, you are a fool!"
- And with that, both of these foolish students begin to run toward the field.
- When the miller sees that they are gone, he steals half a bushel of their flour, then tells his wife to make it into a cake.
- He says, "I believe the clerks were afraid of some trickery. But a miller can still outsmart a clerk, despite all the clerk's book-learning."
- "Now let them go on their way! Look where they go; let the children play! They won't catch the horse so easily, I do declare."
- These foolish clerks run up and down, yelling, "Keep! Keep! Stand! Watch out for the rear! Go whistle, and I shall keep him here!"
- But to make a long story short, despite their best efforts the clerks are not able to catch the horse until nightfall, so quickly does he run from them.
- Finally, they manage to catch him by cornering him in a ditch.
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Having a conversation is the norm. People can talk to just about anyone and just about anything. From religion to which special sauce is better, conversations happen. More often than it should, when black people are talking to people of other races (not just white), especially people of a higher education level, they are "complimented" by others with the phrase, "You know, you are really articulate." Some will smile and say "thank you," while others can hear the figurative record scratch and feel the tension build. This phrase right here, is so loaded with insult, that it needs to be addressed immediately.
Being a black person with a B.A, in English, and obviously a writer, I hear this phrase, and its many variants, a lot. Having a conversation, being so used to formal writing, I assume the others around me know a plethora of "higher level" words as well. Words like "autonomy," "egregious," "erroneous," and many others make it into my everyday conversation, not to sound snobby or obnoxious, but because they are normal words to me. Not extra hard to understand or anything. Because of this, I am always bombarded with the comment of, "You speak so well," to which I respond "Well I was an English major." However, there are times when I know that I surprise people because they assume that I am stupid because of my history (albeit my skin color or inner-city roots) to which I reply in my most obnoxious and sarcastic voice, "Well, I know hows to read too. Massa let me get an education." I do this to create a discomfort in the person who was so comfortable with the racist thought.
This statement is racial for two reason. Firstly, the only people who should see this as a compliment is children because they are too young to have a high level of education. If a twelve year old is talking and he says a word like "asinine," then saying he is articulate is a compliment, because he obviously is excelling. If a black person is older than eighteen and he or she hears this, it is insulting. It insinuates that you obviously cannot be educated because you are black and fail at comprehending the English language.
The second reason this is an insult and racial is because no one else other than black Americans are "awarded" this "compliment," as if being educated is out of black America's grasp. White Americans never get this as a compliment, because they are white. With one glance, people assume that white Americans were raised in households where "proper" English was spoken and they made it through to high school and maybe some college. But with the color of a black person's skin, they are deemed as high school dropouts who speak Ebonics as a first language and don't know the basic rules of grammar.
To combat this, you can call a spade, a spade. Openly say that it is offensive and it shows that inadvertently (or overtly), the speaker has prejudices about blacks. If it's a friend, you can joke to soften the blow and explain how that statement makes you seem like a rare mythical creature, the well talking African American. If it isn't a friend, it's never wrong to show just how offended you are. Make the person feel some discomfort, it'll teach them a lesson.
If you would like to see the other 11 statements in the Atlantic Black Star article, click the link below.


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Inviting Outdoor Rooms8 photos
These stylish outdoor rooms in small spaces offer peace away from the pressures of an urban existence
Ultra Modern Oasis
This sleekly designed outdoor space boasts an unexpected water feature. The globe lighting and the contemporary fireplace help brighten the industrial colors of the space.
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awesome!!!Flag this Comment
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text: Sound the Trumpet now has a mobile app to keep you connected. Download it today from Google Play or iTunes. New Mobile App! "Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace." Matt 11:28-30 Prophetic Wisdom Read the Blog Now! STTM Blog


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Mar 4, 2011 8:09 AM
If you're a master beerologist or care about someone who is, you just might enjoy the Beer Lovers Cookbook ($15), chock full of recipes that inspire us to incorporate beer into our everyday cooking. Think about it; we can taste beer in our favorite soup even on nights we're not enjoying a cold one.
Remember: Eat sensibly and always choose a DD (designated dish washer).
If you've got a product or service that you'd like to promote on Outblush, click here to find out about our advertising opportunities.
Outblush is a blog for girls who love to shop. Our staff digs up the best clothes, home stuff, beauty items, and more. New items are posted every day — bookmark us and check out:


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Parshah Politics
Published: January 4th, 2013
Salome Worch
About the Author: Joojoon is a Persian/Jewish artist whose raucous cartoons celebrate everything sweet and absurd about life in Tzfat, Israel. Joojoon & Co (who categorically deny all knowledge and responsibility for the views expressed herein) recently made Aliyah from California, USA.
Other cartoons in The Adventures of Joojoon:
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College Hockey:Merrimack Ties No. 11 Vermont
Late Merrimack Goal Gives Gutsy Warriors a Rare Point
NORTH ANDOVER, Mass. — Merrimack freshman Mike Vaskivuo's first collegiate goal may not have been the most orthodox way to score, but Warriors coach Mark Dennehy will take it anyways.
"They throw it at the net, and it goes in off a skate," Dennehy said. "Good things happen when you put the puck in the crease, and you're not going to beat a goalie like Joe Fallon unless you put pucks in the crease."
Vaskivuo's tally gave the Warriors a 1-1 tie with the 11th ranked Vermont Catamounts on Friday night at Lawler Arena.
Down 1-0, Chris Kane's shot from the point tipped off of Vaskivuo's skate, and hopped over the pad of Catamounts goalie to tie the score at 9:00 of the third period.
Eventually, the tally would send the game into overtime, but that didn't stop the game's dramatic flair. Warriors' goalie Jimmy Healey made two back-to-back stops on an in-close Corey Carlson with 1:40 remaining in the extra frame, before emotions exploded and a small fracas ended with matching roughing double minors for Merrimack's Ryan Sullivan and Vermont's Colin Vock.
"That was two teams going toe-to-toe," Dennehy said. "They hit the posts, we hits some posts. I told our guys that if they played as hard as they played at BU Saturday, good things are going to happen."
Carlson and his Vermont teammates had a hard time figuring out Healey, who received more than his fair share of help from the goalie's best friend. Carlson, Slavomir Tomko, and Brian Roloff all had shots ring off the crossbar and post in the second period, when the Catamount poured thirteen shots on Healey.
"Tonight, they were my friends," Healey said. "I'll thank them later for that."
Roloff finally solved the posts and Healey, who stopped 41 shots on the night, at 4:40 of the third and sniped out the far-side top corner of the net, over Healey's shoulder for a 1-0 lead.
Not yet satisfied, Vermont continued their offensive attempts, but an all-alone Dean Strong was stoned by Healey.
The Warriors did not take the deficit lying down and responded with Vaskivuo's clutch goal. They continued their pressure, late into the third. With only a few minutes remaining, both sides traded chances up and down the ice, though both Healey and Fallon stood tall.
Pat Kimball had a chance to break the tie with just under two minutes remaining in the third, but his point blank shot was thwarted by Fallon's stacked pads.
"I thought Merrimack did a great job tonight," Vermont coach Kevin Sneddon said. "They slowed the game down somewhat. We're certainly not too pleased with how we played tonight. All in all, we're certainly lucky that we got a point tonight."
The point kept Vermont on the heels of Boston College in the Hockey East standings for the third playoff seed, and left the Catamounts with a 14-8-3 record (9-4-3 HEA). Merrimack inched closer to a playoff spot with the draw, and brought their record to 3-18-3 (3-13-1 HEA).
Both sides meet again tomorrow night to battle it out for a much-needed two points in North Andover at Lawler Arena. The puck drops at 7:00 P.M.
The following is a self-policing forum for discussing views on this story. Comments that are derogatory, make personal attacks, are abusive, or contain profanity or racism will be removed at our discretion. USCHO.com is not responsible for comments posted by users. Please report any inappropriate or offensive comments by clicking the "Flag" link next to that comment in order to alert the moderator.
Please also keep "woofing," taunting, and otherwise unsportsmanlike behavior to a minimum. Your posts will more than likely be deleted, and worse yet, you reflect badly on yourself, your favorite team and your conference.


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Yes, I know I'm late getting the top 10 products up but right now, my goal is to have them by the end of this week. It's a more noble goal than having them up by the end of this year. I was unsuspectingly preparing for an interview when I got majorly sick and then my baby started teething. After having a breakdown as he's growing up way too fast, I had to put everything on the back burner as I went into the uncharted territory of discouraging biting while nursing. All in all, I feel like Xena, warrior blogger princess, who will finally get her tired butt to posting another product rave.
My aunt kept telling me about Forest Essentials and I kept doing the 'mmmhmmm' very politely. You know, where the other person thinks they've been heard but you know you're making the sound so you don't have to fully response. After all, how could a plebeian in terms of make-up possibly know of something that would make someone who's been there and tried it all interested. But it seems the universe conspired to teach me humility that fateful day last year (yes, 2011, which is where this post actually should be).
Forest Essentials' Tejasvi Milk Facial Ubtan comes in a big plastic jar, and the quantity that you get is very generous. However, I wish they had added a plastic stopper or something because when you open the jar, so much falls out if you're not careful. After the initial annoyance, the first thing I noticed was the smell. It is divine and reminded me of the face mask my grandmother would have made. To those who are sensitive to smells, be warned, it is strong and it lasts throughout the application.
The company website says the product contains "red sandalwood, wild turmeric, saffron and skin whitening herbs to make the skin tone several shades lighter naturally." I did voice my disdain to my aunt upon reading the "skin whitening" bit. She told me use it or loose it. So I used it. The company recommends making a paste by adding some milk to the powder, which is what I did. The powder is beautifully milled and becomes a thin, very easy to spread paste. The way the mask spreads feels much more luxurious than the other powdered masks you can get. I kept the mask on until it dried and was not prepared for the results.
I was blown away with the way my skin looked when I washed the mask off. It glowed. I stood there, in front of the mirror, still covered in baby food. But I glowed, despite the post partum hormones and lack of sleep. On top of that my skin was incredibly soft and didn't feel dry like it usually does after I try any herbal face masks. The glow and calm skin lasted a good day or two. It also did not make me break out at all. After multiples uses, I have decided to keep this as my go-to face mask.
All in all this face mask is excellent, pampered my skin, didn't break me out, balanced the moisture levels in my skin, and gave me one hell of a glow. I now want to try out more things from this line.
On a side note, the Tejasvi Milk Facial Ubtan retails for INR 650 and you can buy it online as the company ships worldwide.


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If Christmas is the king of all holidays, these pretty little cookies are queen of all holiday cookies. I just love the delicate shapes and soft fallen-snow texture against the rich raspberry tone of the jam. So simple yet timelessly elegant, they are easily the belle of the the holiday ball.
With that said, I am still continuing my spirt(s) of the season series by spiking some of my favorite holiday treats. Things have been heavy with whisky and bourbon so this recipe is for all of the dainty lightweights out there. The classic linzer gets a taste of my most beloved drinking pal, Pinot Noir. Sometimes I find jams to be too sweet and sugary, so this Raspberry Pinot Noir Jam from King Estate Winery is my jam. The pinot mellows out the sweetness and gives the jam a luxurious depth with subtle notes of toasted oak. This jam tastes divine with the nuttiness of the linzers and it is just as delicious on a simple slice of toast.
This recipe is fairly simple and the results are stunning. A box of these beauties would make for a gorgeous and interesting "plus one" for any festive holiday celebration this time of year.
Related Recipes from Baking the Goods
The Queen of Christmas Cookies, A Recipe for Raspberry Pinot Noir Linzer Cookies
These classic hazelnut Linzer Cookies toast the spirit of the season with a raspberry pinot noir filling.
Recipe adapted from Martha Stewarts Linzer Sandwiches Recipe.
- filberts (hazelnuts) - 1 cup
- unsalted butter at room temperature - 1 cup (2 sticks)
- granulated sugar - 1/2 cup
- egg at room temperature - 1
- pure vanilla extract - 1/2 teaspoon
- almond extract - 1/2 teaspoon (you can also omit the almond and use 1 teaspoon of vanilla instead)
- all purpose flour - 2 cups plus 2 tablespoons, plus more for work surface
- baking powder - 1 teaspoon
- ground cinnamon - 1 teaspoon
- ground nutmeg - 1/2 teaspoon
- salt - 1/4 teaspoon
- powdered sugar - 1/4 cup for dusting
- raspberry pinot noir jam (or any jam you prefer) - 2/3 cup
Preheat the oven to 375°.
Place hazelnuts on a baking sheet, and toast in the oven for 8-10 minutes. Remove from oven, and immediately transfer nuts to a clean towel. Vigorously rub the nuts in the towel to remove as much of the skins as possible. Don't worry too much about leaving some skin on the nuts, it adds a nice texture and color to the cookies. Set nuts aside until completely cool.
Place the hazelnuts and a couple of the teaspoons from the the measured flour in a food processor. Pulse the nuts in the processor until finely ground. Set aside. (Hint: the flour will absorb the oils from the nuts and will prevent a nut butter from forming in the food processor)
In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat butter and sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes.
Add egg, vanilla and almond extract. Beat until smooth, about 3 minutes.
Whisk together reserved hazelnuts, flour, baking powder, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt. Add to butter mixture; beat on low until combined, about 2 minutes.
Form dough into two flattened disks and wrap each with plastic wrap. Refrigerate until firm, at least 1 hour or overnight.
Preheat oven to 350°.
Line two baking sheets lined with Silpat mats or parchment paper. Have cookie cutters at the ready. I used a 2 1/2-inch round fluted round cookie cutter, 2 1/2-inch round cutter, and a couple of 1-inch smaller holiday shaped cookie cutters. You can get creative with sizes and shapes but just remember to account for the size and shapes when baking.
On a lightly floured work surface, roll out half the dough to 1/4-inch thickness. Using the larger cookie cutters, cut out cookies. With a wide and thin spatula, gently transfer cookies to the prepared baking sheets. Using the smaller cutter, cut the centers out of half of the cookies.
Combine scraps and re-roll to cut more cookies. You can either add the center cutouts to the scraps or bake up some small decorative shaped cookies like I did.
Repeat rolling and cutting with the other half of the dough.
Bake for 12-15 minutes until the edges are golden, rotating the pans halfway through. Remove from oven; place on wire racks until completely cool. FYI, I made various shapes and sizes. If you do the same, be sure to bake the cookies of similar size together, as smaller cookies will bake quicker than the larger cookies.
Lightly sift the powdered sugar sugar over the decorative tops; set aside. Spread a small spoonful of jam on the bottoms of each cookie, and sandwich with the sugar-dusted tops.


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Top Definition
An oversimplified way to say "Fuck You"
You aren't going to pay me back? Well, then, to hell with you!
dari Mr. Sexii Rabu, 23 Oktober 2013
Fickle in love? Fuck you cunt. What do you know about being a friend and being a faithful lover. You're a fucking bastard. To hell with you and your inhumanity
To hell with you
dari love_maiden Senin, 04 Agustus 2014


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Even though some children are relatively well-behaved, all kids have some behaviors that drive their parent's nuts. Here's help for parents from a training program called Parent Management Training or PMT. This is evidence-based treatment that helps change the behavior of children in a positive manner. The first step in the process is to define the behavior. Keep in mind that behaviors are actions that can be seen or heard. They are not feelings, thoughts or attitudes. Feeling mad is not a behavior but throwing things is.
Once you define the behavior, the next step is to figure out what the "positive opposite" of that behavior is. PMT states that "to change any behavior, it is crucial to increase the positive opposite rather than punish the negative behavior." A common problem behavior parent's with multiple children have is fighting. The positive opposite of fighting might be stated as playing cooperatively.
Now that we have defined the positive opposite of the behavior we want to change, the next step is called prompting: getting the positive behavior to happen. According to PMT, "a prompt is a cue or direction we give to get someone to do a behavior." When prompting, remember to be specific, remain calm and give the prompt as close as possible to when you want the behavior to happen. If the behavior can be broken down into portions, prompt for each portion.
It is important to praise or reward the child when he performs the positive behavior. This is known as positive reinforcement. PMT defines positive reinforcement as "the procedure of increasing the desired behavior by following it with a reward or reinforcer." Research has shown that positive reinforcement is the most powerful method of changing behaviors.
For Parent Management Training in St. Louis, contact Janet Kontz at Agape Christian Counseling Services or call 314-877-8565.


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Your appointment will consist of a thorough evaluation followed by a discussion with the doctor explaining your diagnosis and treatment options. If endodontic therapy is needed, it can often be completed on the same day as the consultation. However, a complex case may require an evaluation first with a second appointment to provide treatment on another day. Please assist us by providing the following information at the time of your appointment:
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The Chorus is open to EVERYONE regardless of if you are a Newport resident or not. All ages are welcome, and any instrumentalist is also encouraged to participate to help further expand the program and the arts in Newport. If you have any questions or would like to participate please contact Chorus Director Corbin Sturch at firstname.lastname@example.com or call (870) 307-5645 between the hours of 4 and 9 p.m. weekdays, and anytime on Saturdays.
Location, ST | website.com


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Oct. 15, 2012
STANFORD, Calif. - The Oct. 27 football game between Stanford and Washington State will begin at 3:15 p.m. (PT) and will be broadcast nationally on Pac-12 Networks, as announced Monday by the Pac-12 Conference.
Tickets for the penultimate home game this season at Stanford Stadium can be purchased online at GoStanford.com, at the Stanford ticket office or by calling 1-800-STANFORD.
Stanford holds a 36-25-1 advantage in the all-time series with the Cougars, including wins in each of the last four affairs.
No. 22/23 Stanford visits Cal this Saturday (Oct. 20). The 115th Big Game will be televised live on FOX beginning at noon.


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Colorectal Cancer Health Center
News Related to Colorectal Cancer
Colon Cancer Survivors' Obesity and Cancer Risk
By Alan Mozes Health Day Reporter TUESDAY, Sept. 30, 2014 (HealthDay News) -- Colon cancer patients who are overweight or obese when diagnosed appear to face a slightly higher risk for developing a second weight-related cancer, new research suggests. The finding didn't speak to the risk of colon canRead Full Article
What Polyp Removal Says About Colon Cancer Risk
By Dennis Thompson HealthDay Reporter WEDNESDAY, Aug. 27, 2014 (HealthDay News) -- Doctors may be performing too many repeat colonoscopies on people who've had pre-cancerous polyps removed during an earlier colon cancer screening, a new Norwegian study suggests. Many of these patients have no greateRead Full Article
New At-Home Colon Cancer Test: FAQ
Aug. 13, 2014 -- A new at-home colon cancer test that looks for DNA mutations in stool is more accurate than the stool test currently used, but it won't replace colonoscopies, experts say. The test, called Cologuard, is "another weapon in our arsenal for colon cancer screening," says James Lin, MD.Read Full Article
Sigmoidoscopy Cuts Risk of Colon Cancer Death: Study
By Amy Norton HealthDay Reporter TUESDAY, Aug. 12, 2014 (HealthDay News) -- Colon cancer screening done by sigmoidoscopy -- a less invasive, cheaper alternative to colonoscopy -- does cut people's risk of developing or dying from the disease, a new clinical trial finds. Experts said the study, conduRead Full Article
Highly Accurate At-Home Colon Cancer Test Approved
By Alan Mozes HealthDay Reporter MONDAY, Aug. 11, 2014 (HealthDay News) -- The U.S. Food and Drug Administration on Monday approved a new at-home, DNA-based stool test that screens for colorectal cancer with more than 90 percent accuracy. The decision was based on an FDA panel's unanimous decision iRead Full Article
Gut Bacteria May Reveal Colon Cancer, Study Finds
By Robert Preidt HealthDay Reporter THURSDAY, Aug. 7, 2014 (HealthDay News) -- Analyzing the composition of people's collection of gut bacteria -- also called the gut microbiome -- can help improve identification of those who are at risk for, or already have, colon cancer, according to a new study.Read Full Article
Statins May Aid Survival From Colon Cancer
By Kathleen Doheny HealthDay Reporter MONDAY, Aug. 4, 2014 (HealthDay News) -- Statins, the widely used cholesterol-lowering drugs, may also boost colorectal cancer survival, according to a new U.K. study. Early research has found that, overall, colon cancer patients who took statins such as LipitorRead Full Article
Diets High in Dairy May Boost Colon Cancer Survival
By Steven Reinberg HealthDay Reporter TUESDAY, June 24, 2014 (HealthDay News) -- A diet rich in dairy products may slightly extend the lives of people diagnosed with colon cancer, a new study suggests. But at least one cancer doctor not involved with the study was skeptical of the research and its cRead Full Article
Why Do Black People Fare Worse With Colon Cancer?
By Robert Preidt HealthDay Reporter MONDAY, June 23, 2014 (HealthDay News) -- Blacks with colon cancer are about half as likely as whites to get a type of colon cancer that has a better chance of survival, a new study says. This may be one of the reasons why blacks are more likely to die of colon caRead Full Article
Half a Million Cancers Prevented by Colon Screenings: Study
By Mary Elizabeth Dallas HealthDay Reporter FRIDAY, June 6, 2014 (HealthDay News) -- More than 500,000 cases of colon and rectal cancer may have been prevented with cancer screening tests during the last three decades in the United States, experts estimate. "These numbers represent real patients andRead Full Article


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Ebbsfleet United 0-1 Gateshead
Gateshead bounced back from the midweek defeat against promotion rivals Wrexham with victory in Kent to return to the top of the table.
The Tynesiders recorded their first clean sheet for eight games and it was on loan Newcastle United defender Jeff Henderson who was the Heed's goalscoring hero.
The teenager powered home a header from Josh Gillies' 40th minute corner to give Gateshead their 5th away win from seven games on the road.
Courageous fellow centre back James Curtis twice had to leave the field with blood flowing from two separate head wounds, one above each eye.
A bandaged Curtis epitomised the Heed spirit as he returned to the fray, bloodied but unbowed, after ten minutes of treatment in the first half.
Manager Ian Bogie's decision to field a new back four was fully vindicated, and when the Fleet did threaten Paul Farman proved a formidable last line of defence.
Michael West and Craig Stone had two early efforts off target and then Yemi Odubade set up Micky Cummins only for Fleet keeper Preston Edwards to make a smart save.
Cummins' downward header failed to trouble Edwards while West was well wide from distance as Farman back -tracked after his clearance had struck Callum Willock.
It had been a lively opening but the game soon settled down, Gateshead playing the football and lowly Ebbsfleet employing a more direct approach.
It took a timely challenge from Curtis to stop Willock from pulling the trigger on the edge of the box.
With Gateshead temporarily down to ten men Kris Gate fired over from 20 yards from the recalled Craig Baxter's cross.
Still a man light, Farman had to tip a Tom Phipp shot over the bar and then denied the same player with a full length save.
With a bandaged Curtis back in the fold Gateshead grabbed the all important goal five minutes from half-time at Stonebridge Road.
Gillies swung in a corner that saw Magpie Henderson find the net with a header and the Tynesiders protected their lead without too much trouble.
Gillies had a shot deflected wide after the break and Jon Shaw threatened before Fleet captain Paul Lorraine made a brilliant recovery inside the box.
Gate then glanced a header just wide in the 74th minute as Ebbsfleet struggled to create openings against a solid Heed outfit.
The table-topping Tynesiders now have a free week to prepare for their crunch game at big-hitters, and promotion rivals, Luton Town next weekend.
Ebbsfleet United: Edwards Lorraine, Simpemba, Mambo Stone, Marwa (Ginty 72), Phipp, Howe, Herd (Azeez 46), West, Willock
Subs (not used): Welch, Fakinos, Stavrinou
Booking: Simpemba
Gateshead: Farman, Baxter, Carruthers, Gate, Curtis, Henderson, Gillies (Fisher 83), Turnbull, Shaw, Odubade (Brittain 90), Cummins
Subs (not used): Alnwick (gk), Odhiambo, Rents
Goal: Henderson (40)
Bookings: Carruthers, Fisher
Referee: Warren Atkin (Sussex)
Att: 947
Yemi Odubade
Jon Shaw
Yemi Odubade
Paul Farman. Photos by Paul Jarvis.


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Christy Fentress had been talking about it and talking about it and talking about it . . . seemingly forever.
And on Tuesday night , it finally happened.
Fentress reached her goal of bowling a sanctioned 200 game.
Actually, Fentress blew past the 200 mark in the ninth frame en route to blasting a 223 in her final game of the "Guys and Dolls" league at AMF Woodlake Lanes in Woodland Hills.
It was a clean game (no opens) for Fentress, who nailed the 3-10 baby split in the first frame and was off to the races thereafter. "I'm just elated. It was just amazing," said Fentress, one of the most affable players in the league.
"I was holding my breath the whole game."
Fentress is only in her second full year of league bowling. She set her sights on the 200 barrier since the summer, though it has seemed like it's been many years because she's been close so often.
Fentress, a Thousand Oaks resident, has shown that it was just a matter of time before she would reach her goal.
A month ago, the right-handed Fentress blasted a 213 in practice and then she set her then-high of 196 two weeks ago in league play.
Fentress, the daughter of longtime amateur bowler Howard "Buster" Smith, rolled games of 153 and 136 before blasting her 223. "The rhythm was just good. It just felt good. Whatever I was doing right, I thought, 'just keep doing it,' " said Fentress about her final game.
Fentress, a 147-average bowler, got her third game rolling with spares in the first three frames. She then rolled strikes in the next two frames. After a spare in the sixth frame, Fentress smoked three strikes in a row in the seventh to ninth frames to seal her 200.
A passionate bowler, Fentress practices regularly on Sundays at Woodlake Lanes. To illustrate her dedication, she admitted that she even listened to a bowling podcast for a half-hour.
"I just started today," she said, laughing.
Fentress, who has rolled a 517 series this season, said she now has a new goal: a 600 series.
"You got to have another carrot," she said with a smile.


text:
Curtis Wayne Jordan
Position: DB
Height: 6-2 Weight: 200 lbs.
Born: January 25, 1954 in Lubbock, TX
High School: Monterey
College: Texas Tech (school history)
Drafted by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the 6th round (158th overall) of the 1976 NFL Draft.
Weighted Career AV (100-95-...): 39 (2371st overall since 1950)
Sponsor this page for $5 and help Pro-Football-Reference.com provide this service. Your message will replace this ad.


text:
College Hockey:Irish Cruise
All-Around Team Effort Buoy Notre Dame in Victory over Lake State
SOUTH BEND, Ind. — No. 14 Notre Dame prevailed 4-1 over the Lake Superior State Lakers in a game once again dominated by special teams.
The Irish (6-3-0, 4-1-0) were stellar on the power play, scoring two goals on five power play chances. The penalty killers were equally up to the task, successfully defending six of seven Laker power plays and notching a goal of their own. Freshman netminder Brad Phillips was a stellar backstop for the Irish penalty kill the whole night, making 16 saves in his first career start.
Notre Dame coach Jeff Jackson was very pleased with the effort.
It was a nice game for Brad Phillips to play, Jackson said. I thought our team played well in front of him. It was an exciting day for us, were finally starting to show some progress.
Similar to the previous night, the game opened up as a defensive struggle.
Neither team was able to muster any good offensive chances in the first 10 minutes, only recording three combined shots on goal.
Lake Superior State (1-4-1, 0-2-0) earned the first three power plays of the game, the initial two due to infractions on Erik Condra. Notre Dame was able to successfully kill both of the Condra penalties, surrendering zero shots on goal.
In the waning moments of the period, the Irish penalty killers stepped it up another notch, scoring their second shorthanded goal of the season. Christian Hanson, a junior forward, corralled the puck in front of his own bench and split two Laker defenders just inside the blue line. He then ripped a slap shot from the top of the right circle to give the Irish a 1-0 lead.
The Irish were able to double their lead with another special teams goal " this time on the power play.
Sophomore defenseman Kyle Lawson scored his second goal of the year on a pass from Kevin Deeth. The play started when Mark Van Guilder won a puck in the corner and passed to Deeth at the left point. Deeth skirted the puck along the blue line to Lawson at the right point. Lawson then took a slap shot, which deflected off a Laker defenseman and past Laker freshman goalie Brian Mahoney-Wilson.
A flurry of Irish penalties in the latter half of the second period allowed the Lakers back into the game. Just minutes after two Irish penalties, Christian Hanson drilled Rick Schofield in the back along the boards. Hanson was given a five minute major and a game misconduct for hitting from behind.
Seconds later, Brock Sheahan was given another checking from behind penalty on a play in front of his own net, sending the Lakers to a five on three power play.
It didnt take long for Lake Superior State to capitalize on the two man advantage. Only 17 seconds after Sheahans penalty, Nathan Perkovich buried his fifth goal of the season to cut the Irish lead in half. Perkovich took a pass in the slot from Matt Cowie and fired a wrist shot through traffic that got past Phillips. Troy Schwab also recorded an assist on the play.
However, that was as close as the Lakers would get, as Phillips and the Irish held their slim lead throughout the rest of the power play.
Laker coach Jim Roque, while disappointed with the end result, wasnt displeased with his teams efforts.
Youre down 2-1 at the end of the second period at Notre Dame, Roque said. Thats not too bad of a position. We couldnt capitalize in the end, but I thought we put forth a solid effort tonight.
As the third period started, the Irish began to take over the contest. Notre Dames defense clamped down, only allowing four Laker shots in the period, while the offense fired 18 shots at Mahoney-Wilson, who finished with 32 stops on the night.
Still, the Lakers remained only one bounce away from tying the game until midway through the third, when a great play from Robin Bergman helped the Irish increase their lead to 3-1. Bergman made a nifty move to keep the puck in the Laker zone, skated into the slot and made a drop pass to Erik Condra. Condra skated around a defender and flicked a wrist shot into the upper corner of the net for his fourth goal of the year.
Another power play goal provided the Irish with some insurance less than two minutes later. Evan Rankin scored his third goal of the year on a rebound in front of the net off a shot from Brett Blatchford. The goal was Notre Dames fifth power play goal of the series.
Earlier in the week, Jackson had emphasized a need for his team to value the puck more than they had been in previous games. He came away satisfied with their progress.
I thought we made great strides this weekend [in valuing the puck], he said.
We also had our best offensive weekend. Its about how you create offense. Doing it the right way usually leads to more opportunities.
Tonight was the final game of the season between the two teams. The Irish resume their CCHA schedule next Friday night at Miami (Ohio) while the Lakers face off against Wayne State in a non-conference matchup.
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text:
Psalm 57 [Clear Word]
1 Be merciful to me, O Lord; be merciful. I come to you for safety. Only when I am under your wings do I feel protected from the storms that rage around me. 2 I'm calling out to God, to the Most High God. He is the One who supplies my every need. 3 He is the One who will answer from heaven and save me from reproach. He will show me that He loves me and will strengthen my confidence in Him. 4 Sometimes I feel as if I'm surrounded by lions whose teeth are spears and whose tongues are double-sided swords. 5 Show me your greatness, O Lord. Let your glory be seen throughout the earth. 6 My enemies had spread a net to catch me. I was overcome with fear and stress. They dug a pit in my path but then fell into it themselves. 7 Thank you, Lord, for helping me. Once again, my confidence in you is steadfast. Again, my faith is fixed. I will sing praises to you and give you thanks. 8 I will wake up early. Come, harp and lyre; wake up! Let's get ready to welcome the morning by praising the Lord. 9 I will praise you, Lord, in the public forum. I will sing about you among the nations. 10 Your compassion and kindness is as big as the sky, and your faithfulness is as broad as the heavens. 11 May you be exalted above the heavens, O Lord, and may your glory fill the earth.


text:
David Dague has revealed several more details in regards to the upcoming multiplatform video game, "Destiny." According to a report from Segment Next on March 15, the community manager at Bungie first reconfirmed the unique equipment element in the shared-world first-person shooter.
Players will be able the inferred on the journeys of others just by looking at them as the equipment from "Destiny" is acquired through different scenarios and settings. You can find a few screens of how the characters will look in the upcoming title with the slideshow gallery to the left of this article and his comments below:
When you look upon a Guardian, you'll be able to judge the book that tells their story by its cover. Their gear will be signposts for the missions they've completed. You'll know if they are warriors of the arena, or journeyman from the wild. Their very appearance will tell tales of their finest moments as weapons of light.
Lars Bakken also talked a little bit about the competitive matchmaking in the online-required video game. The lead designer confirmed that Bungie prefers connecting players who are closer to each other. The development team will also try to match users with a similar skill level. You can find his statement below:
We agree that the best matches are the ones that are the closest. With that in mind, we match players in Destiny based on their performance. Not every game will be neck and neck (as human players have a tendency to get better over time and can have random spiky games), but we're going to do our best to match you with other players of a similar skill.
Bungie is getting ready to launch a multiplayer beta for "Destiny" later this summer. The online play test will be made available first on the PS3 and PS4 before opening up for the Xbox 360 and Xbox One. The final product should be released on Sept. 9 for all four platforms.
The new intellectual property is being published by Activision, the same company behind the "Call of Duty" series and other popular franchises.
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- 'Titanfall' companion app, patch update and Mac port details revealed
- 'Titanfall' developer responds to aim bots, hacks and other cheating methods


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Squirt Teens From Russia
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text: On Sat, 2005-01-22 at 09:37 -0600, Josh Boyer wrote: > On a positive note, I'm glad this discussion is taking place. Even if > it's being completely ignored by the Red Hat folks, at least members > of > the Fedora community are speaking up. :) I can pretty safely say it's not being ignored. I'm just trying to avoid stifling the discussion. Others are probably in a similar boat. Jeremy


text:
Clearwater, Daytona Beach, Fort Myers, Graduate School, Jacksonville, Lakeland, Melbourne, Miami, New Port Richey, Orlando, Pembroke Pines, Port St. Lucie, Tallahassee, Tampa, West Palm Beach
Keiser University's Master of Arts degree in Homeland Security provides an intensive study of topics related to protecting the U.S. from threats to Homeland Security. The program fosters independent learning and enables students to contribute intellectually to the areas of homeland security, border patrol and cyber security. Students learn to work in areas such as border patrol, airports, seaports and waterways; research and development of the latest security technologies; responders to natural disasters or terrorist assaults; analysis of intelligence reports, and other timely areas related to homeland security. Graduates demonstrate a conceptual understanding of homeland security and topics related to protecting the U.S. from threats to homeland security and critically analyze and solve problems based on applied research methods.
Keiser University's MAHS program enables students to contribute to the homeland security profession and fosters independent learning. Upon completion of this program students are able to:
NOTE: Courses in the MAHS program are eight-weeks in length and students are normally scheduled for two courses concurrently.
To receive a Master of Arts in Homeland Security degree, students must earn 36 graduate semester credit hours. Thirty of the program hours must be completed through Keiser University. Program requirements are as follows:
|Master of Arts in Homeland Security Core Courses (36.0 credit hours)
|Seminar in Criminal Justice (taken in first semester)
|3.0 credit hours
|Theory in Criminology and Criminal Justice
|3.0 credit hours
|Management and Administration of CJ
|3.0 credit hours
|Professionalism and Ethics in CJ
|3.0 credit hours
|Seminar in Homeland Security
|3.0 credit hours
|Dynamics of Terrorism
|3.0 credit hours
|Domestic and International Terrorism
|3.0 credit hours
|Cyber Security
|3.0 credit hours
|Human Trafficking
|3.0 credit hours
|Research Methods in CJ
|3.0 credit hours
|Capstone: Criminal Justice Thesis Part I
|3.0 credit hours
|Capstone: Criminal Justice Thesis Part II
|3.0 credit hours
Master of Arts in Homeland Security program links:
The Design program at Keiser University was filled with real world learning and hands on instruction… Based on the portfolio I created while a student at Keiser University, I landed a job in Graphic Design for a major online retailer immediately after graduation.
The year and a half I spent in the program better prepared me for attaining a job in the field…As a hands-on learner, the project-centered teaching was perfect for me.
Keiser University has given me the opportunity to embrace a career change… It has opened the door for a timely graduation and quick return to the work force…
Without the education I received at Keiser University, I would not be where I am today!
I not only received an excellent education but also encouragement and training that built my self-confidence every day.
I realize the amount of knowledge I gained and feel that the educational experiences have developed me in to a person who can move higher up the career ladder.
Keiser University's MBA program has renewed my mind, changed the way I think, and given me a new sense of purpose. The professors transformed my attitude and behavior, gave me the self-confidence I was lacking, and restored my energy.
It has been great attending and graduating from Keiser University. Because of the small class sizes, I was able to build good relationships with classmates and professors. The PA professors care very much about the progress and success of the students and have been great advisors every step of the way through the program.
Attending Keiser University and getting my degree was the best decision I have ever made. The small class sizes and personalized attention helped me get my degree quickly. The hands-on experience and the education landed me a job at a neighboring law firm.
I chose Keiser because it had everything—small classes, caring professors, hands-on learning, and counselors that are really there for you. I feel like I'm part of a family here, not just a number.
After being denied for several promotions at my current employer, I decided that I needed to further my education. Since graduating from Keiser with my bachelor's degree in Business Administration, I have been promoted and I am able to obtain positions that weren't available to me before.
Keiser helped change my life by getting my education at the right school! I have been going to another school before, dropped out because I felt that I was not getting enough information that I need. When I found out about Keiser, I was pleased because the instructors were great.
My decision to attend Keiser University has been one of the best decisions I've made. I chose to enroll in the Information Technology program… The one-class-a-month pace helped incredibly with my self-discipline.
The BA for Business Administration at Keiser has to be one of the best in the nation. Keiser takes the basics that are taught at the Associates level and uses them to strengthen your skills and knowledge.
I found that Keiser University's Nuclear Medicine program of advanced studies and small class size was a perfect fit. I never came across a faculty member who wasn't truly interested.


text:
"We have an odd life anyway," she says. "I'm a single parent. I'm sure there are awkward things for them about the experience of having a mother who is an actress. I think they are aware that people treat me differently, but they're not wildly curious." Keaton's thoughts suddenly turn to the mystery of what captures a child's attention. "Somebody once said to me, 'You'd be surprised by how many kids who are adopted have no real interest in discovering who their birth parents are. Life is about living and not about "Oh, gee. Let me go back."' That's fascinating, because you think, 'Wouldn't you be curious?' I was told that by age 6 my kids were going to say to me, 'Well, you're not my real mother.' Maybe that'll come at some point, but it hasn't happened."
At some level it's all creative grist, especially judging by the titles of her four upcoming films (Because I Said So, Mama's Boy, Smother, and Da Vinci's Mother). The aftermath of her Golden Globe Award-winning star turn in 2003's Something's Gotta Give has been a long run of mom parts; still, it's impressive — considering youth-obsessed Hollywood — that the two-and-a-half-minute trailer for Because I Said So is cut to highlight Keaton rather than the ebullient 22-year-old Moore. "Being an actress is an interesting adventure because it has been up and down," Keaton says. "Sometimes I'm marginalized; sometimes you can't avoid me." When Keaton is truly charged up about a part, she is like an extra power source, says writer-director Callie Khouri (Thelma & Louise, The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood), who will direct Keaton as one of a trio of women thieves in the heist film Mad Money, which, Khouri has just learned, is scheduled to start shooting in March.
"Diane was enthusiastic about this movie from the start, asking, 'What do I have to do? Who can I call?'" Khouri says. In Mad Money, Keaton will star as a federal treasury janitor who comes up with a scheme to liberate disused cash from her employer. When I tell Keaton that Khouri just found out Mad Money now has a start date, it seems as if a fifth Keaton gear shifts into place. "This is news to me. Oh, I'm excited! I like that project," she says.
Admiring the View
The sun is setting now, and Keaton can't stop commenting on the view of the gray Pacific Ocean framed by the restaurant windows. "Look at it!" she exclaims, repeatedly pointing a finger at a horizon line so flat, it looks etched in the sky by a pencil. "Look at it! I don't understand anything that could be so beautiful. It's just too much." However, if an innocent snapshot of this panoramic seascape were to appear in one of the wonderfully eccentric coffee-table books Keaton edits, she would, no doubt, juxtapose it with other images in such a way as to render it laughably weird, ominously desolate, or inexplicably unsettling.
What Keaton loves to do as a maker of books is root through flea markets and eBay, organize her oddball treasures by category (clown paintings, newspaper crime-scene photos) and turn them into bound works of art. The thrill she gets from these endeavors is so rewarding that if she could figure out how to make them a source of steady income, she'd publish books full time. "For me, it's about finding something that interests me visually and bringing it into the light of day," she says.


text:
Top Definition
Shortened form of "the dog's bollocks", used to inversely describe something that is very good.
Guy 1: Hey check out my new car.
Guy2: Ah mate, that's the DB!
Guy2: Ah mate, that's the DB!
af zOMFG BBQ ROFLCOPTERS 6. april 2009
Emails sendes fra firstname.lastname@example.com. Vi lover ikke at spamme dig.×


text:
Launch delayed from May 2, 6, 30, 31 and June 4. STS-111 reached a 58 x 224 km x 51.6 deg orbit at 2131 UTC and separated from the External Tank. It coasted to apogee at 2201 UTC and carried out the OMS-2 burn to raise the orbit to 158 x 235 km. The mission of STS-111 (UF-2 ISS utilization flight) was to swap the Expedition 4 and 5 crews and deliver the MBS Mobile Base System and some interior experiment racks. Endeavour docked with the Station at 1625 UTC on June 7. The Leonardo MPLM module was attached to the Station on June 8. Cargo manifest:
AKA: Endeavour; ISS UF-2; ISS-5.
First Launch: 2002.06.05.
Last Launch: 2002.06.15.
Duration: 13.86 days.


text:
SEMTEX is by no means the only plastic explosive throughout the world, similar types of explosives are produced by a number of producers. Out of the most known producers it is possible to mention:
At first SEMTEX was produced under trade mark B 1for military purposes. From 1964 it was produced under trade mark SEMTEX 1A, from 1967 as SEMTEX H and from 1987 as SEMTEX 10. SEMTEX 1A was used mainly in the Czechoslovak Republic. SEMTEX H was exported abroad, primarily to Vietnam for mine clearance and pyrotechnic works. In 1981 the export into risky territories was banned and SEMTEX was allowed to be exported into the Warsaw Treaty countries only. In 1989 the export of this explosive was temporarily banned at all.
In the early 1990s experts from the Research Institute of Industrial Chemistry, a part of Explosia a.s., actively participated in international negotiations on marking and detection of plastic explosives and contributed considerably to the conclusion of the "Convention on the Marking of Plastic Explosives for the Purpose of Detection", done at Montreal, (Canada) on March 1st, 1991. The Czechoslovak Republic was one of the first countries to ratify this Convention and Explosia a.s. as one of the first producers worldwide has been carrying out marking of all production of plastic explosives in a prescribed manner (DMNB). Since 1991 the export of marked explosive SEMTEX has been permitted again. The trade is subject to valid legislation and relevant control of state authorities.
The fact is, that new production of SEMTEX is minimal. Primarily rework and marking is carried out at present, or disposal of demilitarized plastic explosives from the Czech Army stock. Supplies of newly produced explosive are predominantly assigned to military purposes.
On talks with mass media Explosia a.s. put it many times that SEMTEX is neither the strongest explosive in the world nor the non-detectable explosive and last, but not least not the only explosive misused by terrorists. Simple and perhaps also understandable fact, that the producer cannot exclude a misuse of the product after its launching on the market , is not usually accepted in case of plastic explosive SEMTEX.
Interest and questions of the media concerning SEMTEX rise of course always, when a terrorist act is committed somewhere in the world, or on other occassions, when the name SEMTEX appears in media.
E.g. the interest following the establishing of "Semtex Girls" company.
Semtín, April 27, 2006


text:
We need to change some settings to the HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE at runtime.
Is it possible to prompt for uac elevation if needed at runtime, or do I have to launch a second elevated process to do 'the dirty work'?
i would relaunch yourself as elevated, passing command line parameters indicating what elevated thing you want to do. You can then jump right to the appropriate form, or just save your HKLM stuff.
The other Microsoft suggested solution is to create an COM object out of process (using the specially created CoCreateInstanceAsAdmin function). i don't like this idea because you have to write and register a COM object.
Note: There is no "CoCreateInstanceAsAdmin" API call. It's just some code floating around. Here's the Dephi version i stumbled around for. It is apparently based on the trick of prefixing a class guid string with the "Elevation:Administrator!new:" prefix when normally hidden code internally calls CoGetObject:
One other question: How do you handle someone running as standard user in Windows XP?
You can't "elevate" an existing process. Elevated processes under UAC have a different token with a different LUID, different mandatory integrity level, and different group membership. This level of change can't be done within a running process - and it would be a security problem if that could happen.
You need to launch a second process elevated that would do the work or by creating a COM object that runs in an elevated dllhost.
http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/bb756922.aspx gives an example "RunAsAdmin" function and a "CoCreateInstanceAsAdmin" function.
EDIT: I just saw "Delphi" in your title. Everything I listed is obviously native, but if Delphi provides access to ShellExecute-like functionality you should be able to adapt the code from the link.
A sample of ready-to-use code:
Usage example:
And support unit itself:


text:
Great Deals on Time Warner Cable in Shreve
TimeWarner Cable delivers high speed Internet, no fee HD and more to Shreve. Digital-quality sound on your home phone is easy as pie with Time Warner Cable Digital Phone. 10,000 movies and shows are available per month in Ohio with On Demand. Looking for a little entertainment in OH? Time Warner Cable has your solution.


text:
Alberto, R; N'Dongo, H W P; Clericuzio, M; Bonetti, S; Gabano, E; Cassino, C; Ravera, M; Osella, D (2009). Functionalized thymidine derivatives as carriers for the γ-emitter technetium tricarbonyl moiety. Inorganica Chimica Acta, 362(13):4785-4790.
Full text not available from this repository.
View at publisher
Nuclear medicine imaging of cell proliferation has gained broad interest in clinical oncology. A good tracer to image cell proliferation, possibly associated to tumour progression, should rapidly and specifically be incorporated into growing DNA. Following this idea, we have singled out thymidine as a potential biological carrier for delivery of the organometallic fragment [M(CO)3]+ (M = "cold" Re, γ-emitter 99mTc) to DNA. In the present paper we report the two-step synthesis of thymidine N-3 derivatives and their coordination complexes. Thymidine could be alkylated without protecting the sugar alcoholic functions. Methyl-2,2′-diaminodiethylamine thymidine derivative was quickly reacted with rhenium and technetium carbonyls in almost quantitative yield. The resulting 99mTc complex represents a convenient radiopharmaceutical for single photon emission tomography (SPECT).
4 citations in Web of Science®
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|Item Type:
|Journal Article, refereed, original work
|Communities & Collections:
|07 Faculty of Science > Department of Chemistry
|Dewey Decimal Classification:
|540 Chemistry
|Deposited On:
|21 Jan 2010 19:03
|Last Modified:
|05 Apr 2016 13:47
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text:
Things to see and do - Cardiff
Leaving for Great Britain
Modify the search
Tourist attractions
Tourist attractions Cardiff
Results 1 to 13 on 13
Sort by :
- distance
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1 National Museum of Wales/Amgueddfa Genedlaethol Cymru
Museums and art
Cathays Park GB - Cardiff CF10 3NP
The museum's remarkable collections are divided into three main sections. The Natural History section presents the nature and ecosystems of Wales; the Archaeology section exhibits objects and written documents that retrace daily life from prehistory ..
2 St Fagans National History Museum
Museums and art
GB - Saint Fagans CF5 6XB
Don't miss this Welsh ethnographic museum coupled with a castle, which will delight children and adults alike! In addition to the two exhibitions dedicated to agricultural life and traditional costumes, in the grounds stand reconstructions of buildin..
3 Castell Coch
Architecture, castles and historic districts
GB - Tongwynlais CF15 7JS
Castell Coch is a fantasy castle of medieval inspiration. It was started in 1875 by the wealthy Maquess of Bute and the architect William Burges, and bears some resemblance to the city of Carcassonne (France) and the castle of Chillon (Switzerland). ..
4 Cardiff Castle/Castell Caerdydd
Architecture, castles and historic districts
Castle GB - Cardiff CF10 3RB
This fortified castle with a mighty keep was built on the ruins of a roman fort in the 12th C. At the end of the 19th C its owner the 3rd Marquis de Bute (1847-1900), who was regarded as the richest man in England at the time commissioned the archite..
5 Cardiff Bay
Architecture, castles and historic districts
GB - Cardiff CF11 0JL
The rapid decline of Cardiff's most popular quarter, formerly a central offloading point for the coal from the Southern Welsh mines, has been arrested by an ambitious project to redevelop the area and to create new cultural centres. The project centr..
6 Techniquest
Museums and art
Stuart Street GB - Cardiff CF10 5BW
Located opposite the old dry docks, this ultramodern building which mixes glass and steel stages an incredible interactive exhibition, which illustrates scientific principles through a series of role-plays
7 Llandaff Cathedral
Religious buildings
A4119 GB - Cardiff CF5 2LA
Cardiff Cathedral was built between 1120 and 1280 and was named after the nearby river. The cathedral fell into decay after the Reformation and lost its medieval tower and roof in a storm in 1723. It was restored some time later but destroyed by a la..
8 Law Courts
Architecture, castles and historic districts
King Edward VII GB - Cardiff CF10 3NL
This edifice built in 1904, located to the west of the town hall is clearly more conservative than its neighbouring building, and is the first in a series of public buildings to be developed on King Edward VII avenue.
9 Pierhead Building
Architecture, castles and historic districts
Pierhead GB - Cardiff
This tiled, red brick building was completed in 1896 by an associate of William Burges and was previously used as offices.
10 Norwegian Church
Religious buildings
Harbour Drive GB - Cardiff CF10 4PA
This charming white church made of wood was the first of its kind to be built outside Norway (1868). It was restored with the help of Roald Dahl's children who were baptised there, and converted into a café and exhibition hall.
11 Millennium Stadium
Architecture, castles and historic districts
Westgate Street GB - Cardiff CF10 1NS
Nothing is too good for Wales' national sport. This stadium replaced the legendary Arms Park when it was inaugurated in 1999.
12 St Fagans Castle
Architecture, castles and historic districts
The Castle GB - Saint Fagans CF5 6DX
Built in around 1580, it was renovated with a 19C touch, including period furniture. The fine gardens have blackberry bushes and ponds full of carp, bream and tench. They are the setting for the Museum of Welsh Art and Popular Traditions.
13 The Valleys
Nature and gardens
Valley Lines GB - Cardiff
North of Cardiff and the neighbouring ports lie The Valleys, one of Britain's largest coalfields. Miners' cottages, metalworks, pit-heads and attendant railways occupy the floors of the deep valleys. In stark contrast, the mining and industrial zones..


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Breaking Away (1979)
Dad: I was proud of my work. And the buildings went up. When they were finished the damnedest thing happened. It was like the buildings were too good for us. Nobody told us that. It just felt uncomfortable, that's all.
Dad: He's never tired. He's never miserable.
Mom: He's young.
Dad: When I was young I was tired and miserable.
Dad: What is this?
Mom: It's sauteed zucchini.
Dad: It's I-tey food. I don't want no I-tey food.
Mom: It's not. I got it at the A&P. It's like... squash.
Dad: I know I-tey food when I hear it! It's all them "eenie" foods... zucchini... and linguine... and fettuccine. I want some American food, dammit! I want French fries!
Mom: [to the cat, who has jumped up onto the table] Oh, get off the table, Fellini!
Dad: Hey, that's *my* cat! His name's not Fellini, it's Jake! I won't have any "eenie" in this house!
[to the cat]
Dad: Your name's Jake, you hear?
[as they go for a marriage license:]
Moocher: I wonder if I have to have a job to qualify.
Nancy: I don't think so. I think it's mostly blood and relatives that they're interested in.
Moocher: Blood and relatives... well, that's great. I got both of them.
Dad: I dreamed all last night, that everyone I ever sold a car to came back for a refund. And there you were, handing out the checks! One for you, and one for you...
Dad: What are we gonna do about him?
Mom: I don't know dear. We could always strangle him while he's asleep.
Dave: Moocher, you're Catholic, right?
Moocher: Yeah.
Dave: Did you ever go to confession?
Moocher: Twice.
Dave: Did it make you feel better?
Moocher: Once.
Dad: You guys still go swimmin' in the quarries?
Dave: Sure.
Dad: So, the only thing you got to show for my 20 years of work is the holes we left behind?
[Dave crosses himself on learning of Team Cinzano's imminent arrival]
Mom: Oh, Dave, try not to become Catholic on us.
Dad: Refund? Refund?
Mike's Brother: How are you fellas doing?
Cyril: Well, we're a little disturbed by developments in the Middle East, but...
Dave: Everybody cheats. I just didn't know.
Moocher: [looking at Dave's beat up bike] Doesn't look that bad to me...
Dave: That's cause you don't have to ride it!
Moocher: Well, you know, you don't have to ride it either, Dave. We're not gonna beg you.
Cyril: We may plead, but we would never beg!
Moocher: [watching the college kids on campus] Sure look like they've got it made.
Mike: That's because they're rich.
Dave: Italians are poor, but they're happy.
Mike: Yeah? Maybe in Italy.
Dave: Have a nice trip.
Katherine: You too.
Dave: But I'm not going anywhere.
Katherine: I don't know about that.
Dave: You hear from your folks, Mooch?
Moocher: Yeah, my dad called. He wanted to know if the house was sold. He could use the money something fierce.
Dave: Well, you can come and live with me when it's sold. In Italy, everybody lives together.
Moocher: [laughs] Since you won that Italian bike, man, you've been acting weird. You're really getting to think you're Italian, aren't you?
Cyril: I wouldn't mind thinking I was somebody myself.
Cyril: Hey! Are you really gonna shave your legs?
Dave: Certo! All the Italians do it.
Mike: Ah. Some country. The women don't shave theirs.
Mike: They're gonna keep callin' us "cutters." To them, it's just a dirty word. To me, it's just somethin' else I never got a chance to be.
Cyril: I sure miss playing basketball. I got depressed as hell when my athlete's foot and jock itch went away.
Mike: That's the place to be right there, Wyoming! Nothin' but prairies and mountains and nobody around. All you need is your bed roll and a good horse.
Cyril: Don't forget your toothbrush! You're still in your cavity-prone years.
Mike: You want to tell me who did it?
Cyril: It was dark... All I can tell your for sure is that they all wore Brut after-shave and reeked of Lavoris.
Dad: No, I don't feel lucky to be alive! I feel lucky I'm not dead. There's a difference.
Dad: I didn't want you to be this miserable. A little bit's all I asked for.
Mike: [after discovering that the college kids beat Cyril up] They want a fight, we'll give 'em a fight.
Cyril: We rednecks are few... college paleface students are many. I counsel peace.
Cyril: You know what I'd like to be? A cartoon of some kind. You know, like when they get hit in the head with a frying pan or something, and their head looks like the frying pan, with the handle and everything? They they just go *booiing*
[shakes head]
Cyril: and their head comes back to normal? Wouldn't that be great?
Mike: How'd you get to be so stupid, Cyril?
Cyril: I don't know... I guess I just have a dumb heredity. What's your excuse, Michael?
Moocher: Hey, come on in, Dave.
Dave: Nah, I read where this Italian coach said its no good to go swimmin' right after a race.
Mike: Who's swimmin'? I'm takin' a leak.
Dad: God-damned see-thru coffee!
Mom: He was very sickly until he started riding around on that bicycle.
Dad: Yeah... well... now his body's fine, but his mind is gone.
Cyril: I was sure I was going to get that scholarship. My dad of course was sure I wasn't. When I didn't, he was real understanding, you know. He loves to do that. He loves to be understanding when I fail.
Dad: I don't care if the second coming's coming!
Dad: If you eat so much, Moocher, how come you're so damned small?
Moocher: Oh... It's my metabolism. I eat 3 times a day and my metabolism eats 5 times a day.
Dave: You mean we might be a father?
Dad: No. I might be a father. And your mom might be a mother. And YOU might be a brother. See, that way I keep it all in the family.
Moocher: Wow! Hey, I didn't think people your age...
Dad: The next word may be your last, kid!
Suzy: [On the phone] Oh, hi Rod, I just wanted you to know that there's some guy outside with a guitar serenading Kath!
Nancy: You know what?
Moocher: No, what?
Nancy: I'm leaving home, that's what.
Moocher: What? Where are you going?
Nancy: About 5 blocks south.
Moocher: [laughs] Yeah?
Nancy: I found this little place, it's so cute I could scream.
Cyril: When you're 16 they call it Sweet 16 and when you're 18 you get to drink and and vote and see dirty movies. What the hell do you get to do when you're 19?
Mike: You leave home.
Cyril: My Dad said that Jesus never went further than 50 miles from his home.
Mike: Well, look what happened to him.
Elderly Woman Sitting on her Porch: [Dave rides by on his bicycle singing an Italian song] He was as normal as pumpkin pie. And now, look at him. His poor parents.
Dave: Italianos - like the nightingales they sing. Like the eagles they fly!
Dad: Speakin' of flies, eh, you brought a helluva lot of flies in with ya.
Cyril: Going to college must do somethin' to girls' tits, I swear. Just look at 'em.
[Yelling out the car]
Cyril: Hi there! What's your major?
Cyril: I wonder what its like to kiss a coed. I wonder about that a lot!
Mike: You know, I used to think I was a really great quarterback in high school. I still think so too. Can't even bring myself to light a cigarette, cause I keep thinkin' I gotta stay in shape. - You know what really gets me though? I mean, here I am, I gotta live in this stinkin' town and I gotta read in the newspapers about some hot shot kid - new star of the college team. Every year its gonna be a new one. And every year its never gonna be me. I'm just gonna be Mike. Twenty year old Mike. Thirty year old Mike. Old mean old man Mike.


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MORE questions arise about the judgement of Liverpool's elected mayor, Joe Anderson.
LAST year Eye 1353 noted the cosy relationship between Peter John, Labour leader of Southwark council, and property developers.
THE Tories may be engaged in a love affair with the Chinese, but the law against foreign donations means receiving gifts from Chinese admirers is difficult. But it's not impossible.
THE "household war of the remotes over what to watch on Sunday night rages", writes a breathless Katie Glass in the Sunday Times.
In May the Eye pointed out that Stella Shiu, glamorous partner in the Peel Group's £10bn redevelopment of Liverpool docks, was not all she was claimed to be.
ONE way to deflect scorn from a favoured European tax scam is to point the finger elsewhere. Sunnier stops on the hot money merry-go-round, for example.
THERE'S a saying in Liverpool: If you look too hard into the past of every developer that comes along, nothing would ever get built.
The charity sector must act following revelations of rising executive pay and widespread use of unpaid interns.
BUSINESS gets fishy in Murkeyside, where a glamorous investor in Peel's £10 billion 'Mersey Waters' regeneration scheme is not all she seems
BACK-SCRATCHING continues in Murkeyside, where the Peel Group and Mayor "Uncle" Joe Anderson believe that Chinese money will come flooding into Liverpool and rejuvenate the city.
Copyright © 2016 Cod Philosophy


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What if they closed down your neighborhood streets to car traffic and set up booths, music and fun in your local park? I'll bet the whole neighborhood would be out and about, chatting, having fun and re-connecting after the rainy winter.
This is exactly what happens in Portland annually. On five Sundays, a neighborhood closes its streets to traffic so people can have a carefree Sunday afternoon in their own neighborhood.
The Sunday Parkways events have become a tradition. Even people outside the neighborhoods flock to the events, often bringing their bicycles. This past Sunday I experienced the first event of the season. A Southeast neighborhood dedicated seven miles of streets and a section of the Springwater Corridor for bikers and walkers and skaters only. Both city and local volunteers helped with the crosswalks and directing walkers, bikers and the few stranded cars.
In several parks there were food, merchandise and information tents set up. As a visiting walker, I enjoyed looking over the Keen tent to see the latest in footwear. My walk route was hosted by the Rose City Roamers volkssport club. The club hosted the event in recognition of an International World Walking Day, complete with international certificates. The route included the Sunday Parkways event plus other neighborhood streets. We walked about 11 kilometers that day, dodging bikes and visiting the tents at the parks. Some of the food was hard to resist. Imagine a hungry walker coming upon grilled Urban German sausages, kraut and onions. But we walked on.
We enjoyed learning about the neighborhood and seeing how people live in this Southeast neighborhood. Down one street we encountered a large chicken coop right next to the sidewalk. Those gorgeous chickens had it made. There were urban vegetable gardens and older homes with character. Tall trees shaded the sidewalks.
Right next to one city park was a lovely garden, the Portland Memory Garden, which was built as a collaborative effort of the Alzheimer's Association together with parks and landscaping organizations. Since it is fenced, and the paths are in a circle, it would be a safe place for a person with memory loss to wander. The garden includes four seasons of plants and flowers in raised beds that have been chosen to stimulate the senses and to spark past memories. We were appreciative of the nice restroom in the garden, which is open to all the public.
Sunday Parkways is becoming more and more a "bike event" with bike-riding families and serious bike groups alike taking over the route and streets. As I walked, I found the bikers to be not too aware of walkers on the streets and paths. This is a safety issue and a trail etiquette issue. I would urge walkers to go early for the most laid back experience. But do go. The neighborhoods need to focus on walkers too!
Sunday Parkways is a great way to get out and about in a car-free environment, meet some new people and to learn about Portland's neighborhoods. Consider putting these events on your calendar.
2014 Sunday Parkways Event Calendar
North Portland Sunday Parkways
June 22, 2014 ~ 11am-4pm (9.5 miles)
Cruise along the scenic Willamette Boulevard, and then glide towards Peninsula, Arbor Lodge, Kenton, Columbia Annex and McCoy Parks to enjoy an array of activities, food, music, vendors and fun.
Northeast Portland Sunday Parkways
July 27, 2014 ~ 11am-4pm (8 miles)
Explore the Northeast Neighborhood Greenways while you make your way around the Northeast Portland route. Don't forget to stop by Woodlawn, Alberta and Fernhill Parks where a collection of fun activities, festive music, and delicious food awaits you.
Southeast Portland Sunday Parkways
August 24, 2014 ~ 11am-4pm (7 miles)
Spend a warm summer day walking and rolling around the Southeast Sunday Parkways. While you're at it, take a few moments to explore Laurelhurst, Colonel Summers and Ivon Parks to grab a bite to eat, listen to tunes, and join some activities.
Southwest Portland Sunday Parkways
September 28, 2014 ~ 11am-4pm (6 miles)
End the Sunday Parkways season by taking advantage of the route, including a walk-only trail. Whether rolling down Troy Street or exploring the SW Trails with its rolling hills and scenic views, don't forget to stop by Gabriel Park, Multnomah Village and Hillsdale Shopping Center for food, music, activities and more.
More Information
Sunday Parkways Website


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Disease Proof
Miracle Expanding Jelly Pills
Here's more proof that humans might not be the most intelligent creatures on earth. Are you desperate to lose weight? Why bother doing the logical thing—eating right and exercising. Instead, take some magic pills. Magic jelly pills that expand in our stomachs that is. Nicole Martinelli of Wired explains:
Italian scientists are testing a new diet pill that turns into a clear, gelatinous blob the size of a tennis ball that may help shrink waistlines by giving dieters a sense of satiety.
The pill, currently undergoing clinical trials at Rome's Policlinico Gemelli hospital, would be downed with two glasses of water at the first sign of a stomach rumble.
"The effect is like eating a nice plate of pasta," said Luigi Ambrosio, lead researcher on the project at the National Research Council's Institute for Composite and Biomedical Materials in Naples. "If you sit down for a meal with a stomach that already feels full, you'll end up eating less."
The unnamed pill is made from a cellulose compound of hydrogel, a material that's powdery when dry but plumps up to a cousin of Jell-O when wet. The gel can soak up to 1,000 times its weight. A gram in capsule form quickly balloons from the size of a spit wad to a ball that holds nearly a liter of liquid.
Now, if just hearing about it isn't gross enough, check out this photo. Prepared to gag:
I can literally see Dr. Fuhrman rolling his eyes in disgust. But permit me to be serious for a second. This just highlights how blindly obsessed people are with losing weight. I'm sure there'll be a line of people waiting to give these jelly pills a whirl, which is sad because as Dr. Fuhrman explains magic pills just aren't the answer. From Eat to Live:
Don't be conned by diet pills, magic in a bottle, or fat absorbers. Anything really effective is not safe, and those that are safe are not effective. To deal with the real problem, you must make real changes.
Now, when you get serious and switch to a nutrient-dense health-promoting diet, then you'll really start to see results. More from Eat to Live:
My observations over the years have convinced me that eating healthfully makes you drop unwanted pounds efficiently. It's as if the body wants to get rid of unhealthy tissue quickly. I have seen this happen time and time again. Eating the exact same diet, many patients drop weight quickly and easily and then automatically stop losing when they reach an ideal weight. Time and time again, I have see individuals who were not overweight nonetheless lose weigh after the switch. In a few months, however, they gravitated back to their former weight as their health improved. It is as if the body wanted to exchange unhealthy issue for healthy tissue.
(Via Diet-Blog)
Haha! Well, this is not really new. A lot of people do the same thing with fiber pills/supplements like psyllium husk.
The recent diet fad in Japan was consuming a lot of agar (an almost-tasteless clear seaweed) which also expands in the stomach, contains fiber, and purports to aid it "satiety"; however, in my opinion, what most people deem "satiety" is wrong. Satiety is nut simply being full. Like Dr. Fuhrman says over and over, it's when your cells are truly nourished that one is satisfied.
That can only happen by consuming nutrient-rich foods, not simply fiber. Heck, may as well chow down on some newspaper -- that'll make you full too.
I see nothing wrong. It's the extremely large portions of any type of food that cause obesity. This is regardless of the nutrition. As long as the person taking the pills and realizes they must eat the right kind of foods to get the nutrients their body needs then it's fine.
It's all about calories in vs. out. This simply helps the problem of people overeating. In this day of supersized meals I don't see anything wrong with it.
i can imagine that thing expanding before it gets to your stomach. can't that thing kill you..?
like if it expands before it gets to your stomach.
and can you still..excrete..?
Send me some pills i`ll try it for research ,If something happens i take full responsibility, this product makes more since than any product out there, it makes you feel ,what else do you want.i need to lose about 30 pounds i would be the perfect person for the research, I`m on the the road 60 hours a week so im always wanting to eat something,and plus i`ve read about this product two years ago, Im ready lets go.
I'm with Scott and Brett. If they are used in the proper manner, I don't see the problem, especially with people whose biggest problem is portion control. If doctors can go to the lengths of surgery to decrease the size of the stomach for someone who is 100+ pounds overweight, this sounds like a good solution for those who are less than 100 pounds overweight. I would be willing to be a guinea pig for research too! Bring it on!
Wow, it really does grows big. It looks very different from the original form. What happened to it. Is there any chemical change that occurs or just purely physical change.
how can I get this pill.
I agree with Scott, I've been looking for the name of this pill but the only thing I can find is articles saying that its going to be released early 2008, but its 2012 and the only thing I can find is 'The Expanding Blob'. Please, if anyone knows the real name, let me know. Thank you.
Suite 408


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Morticom hilarious and obscene nun jokes
Luvstuf.com - Arts, Crafts and Collectables
Open Your Own Shop With Us Today!
(12 gags)
What do you call a nun riding piggyback on the hunchback of Notre Dame?
Virgin on the ridiculous.
A bloke down on his luck, was reduced to catching the bus.
One day, a beautiful young nun boarded the bus and sat down in front of him. She was such a babe he kept leaning forward to perv on her. Finally, he could control himself no longer. Leaning forward, he whispered quietly in her ear, "I'd like to fuck you up the arse." With a gasp of shock, the nun jumped to her feet, rang the bell and got off the bus.
A couple of stops later, the bloke was getting off when the driver said, "Hey, what did you say to that nun?"
"Well, to be honest," said the bloke "she looked so damn good I said I'd like to fuck her up the arse."
"Shit, no wonder she got off! She's very religious and you shoulda asked her in a more devout way. As a matter of fact, she goes through the park down the road every night at about 7.30. Why don't you go down there and try a different approach.
The bloke had long hair and a beard, so he got himself a robe and waited in the park for her to come by.
Sure enough, around 7.30, the nun appeared on her way to the convent. Leaping out of the bushes, the bloke shouted, "Hey nun, I'm Jesus come to fuck you up the arse!"
"No worries, Jesus," said the nun and she bent over and hoisted up her habit.
After the bloke had done the deed, remorse set in and he said rather sheepishly, "I'm not really Jesus."
"That's okay," came the reply. "I'm not really the nun...I'm the bus driver!"
Snow White and the seven dwarves were returning home to their cottage one night after a day down the mine when Dopey walked up to Snow White and asked her, "Are there any midget nuns in this forest?" Amidst much giggling from the other dwarves, Snow White replied, "No, Dopey. There are no midget nuns in this forest."
A bit further down the track, Dopey asks with a hint more desperation in his voice, "Are there any midget nuns in this country?" Again, Snow White replied to the negative amidst much laughter emanating from the direction of the other dwarves. Almost back to the cottage, Dopey is starting to look really upset, so he strides up to Snow White and demands, "Are there any midget nuns on the whole planet?" Before Snow White could reply, the other dwarves broke down completely and started chanting, "Dopey Fucked A Penguin, Dopey Fucked A Penguin!"
What do you call a nun with a sex change?
A trans-sister!
What's the difference between a nun and a lady in a bathtub?
A nun has hope in her soul!
Why can't nigger women become nuns?
Because they can't get used to saying, 'superior' after 'mother'!
Four nuns die and go to heaven and find themselves in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter asked the first nun, "Sister, have you sinned?"
"Yes," she replied, "I once looked at a man!"
"Alright," St. Peter said, "just step over to that font and dab your eyes with the holy water. You may enter the gates!"
To the second nun, he asked the same question.
"Yes, St. Peter," she replied, "I once touched a man!"
He tells her to go to the Holy water font and wash her hands.
At that point, the third nun turns to the fourth and says, "Sister, would you mind if I gargle before you douche?"
At closing time, Dave staggered out of the pub, drunk as usual. Trying to find his way home through the dark streets, he staggered along until he walked into a nun.
Dave immediately lunged at her, twisting her arm, he threw her to the ground and pinned her down. A few people from a house nearby rushed out to assist the donned nun.
As they pulled Dave off her, he screamed, "I thought you would have been stronger than that, Batman!"
Two nuns were taking a stroll through the park at dusk when two men jumped them, ripped off their habits, and proceeded to rape them.
Sister Gregory, bruised and battered, looked up at the sky and said softly, "Forgive him, Lord, for he knows not what he does."
Sister Theresa looked over at her and said, "mine does!"
Three nuns die and go to heaven, where they are all warmly welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St Peter. "Sisters," he says, "I want to thank you for all your good work on earth. Now there's just a brief formality before I can admit you to heaven: Each of you will have to answer one question." And, turning to the first nun, he asks, "Sister Michael, what is the mystery of the Trinity?"
"That's the Father, Son and the Holy Ghost," she replies. And the lights flash and bells go off and Sister Michael is swept into the Pearly Gates.
"Sister Benedicta," asks St Peter gently, "what is the mystery of the Virgin Birth?"
"That's the Immaculate Conception," she replied, and she too is swept inside the gates with much flashing of lights and sounding of bells.
Sister Angelica is left alone, shaking a bit with nervousness. St Peter turns to her and asks, "What, Sister Angelica, were the first words Eve said to Adam?"
Sister Angelica thought it over, beads of sweat starting to appear on her brow, and finally blurted, "Gee, Saint Peter, that's a hard one."
And the bells went off, the gates opened...
What's red and black and has trouble getting through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head!
The Mother Superior at the convent was having her office remodelled, so she asked two of her nuns to paint the walls and the ceiling.
"Don't get any paint on your habits!" warned Mother Superior, and she left the room.
The two nuns thought about this and decided that it would be a good idea if they took off all of their clothes and did the painting in the nude.
Anyway after a few hours of work the two nuns were nearly finished when they heard a knock at the door.
"Who is there?" they called out nervously.
"I'm a blind man." replied the voice from the other side of the door.
The two nuns decided that no harm could come from letting a blind man into the room so they opened the door.
"Nice tits and arses!" laughed the man, "Now where do you want these blinds?"