text: Mia Redrick 2016-05-28T14:18:10-04:00 Mia Redrick http://www.huffingtonpost.com/author/index.php?author=mia-redrick Copyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc. HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for Mia Redrick Good old fashioned elbow grease. Why Your Children Need You To Get Your Groove Back tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2016:/theblog//3.9011202 2016-01-18T16:05:28-05:00 2016-01-19T11:59:02-05:00 Mia Redrick http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mia-redrick/ I've coached over 400 clients in the last thirteen years, supporting women directly in understanding that our children benefit when we are whole. I believe that one of the most selfish things we can do as mothers, is not to share all of who we are with our children because we don't know ourselves. When we have self identity we add value to the parenting process. It is impossible to model self-worth when it is non-existent for yourself. Practicing self-care is necessary to be the best parent and person possible. It's never too late to get your groove back no matter how far off you might seem from yourself. Here are a few tips that I share with my clients: 1. Take small steps in the direction of the change that you want. 2. Don't compare yourself to other people who seem like they have it more together than you. (Your destiny is not tied to another persons direction.) 3. Make a powerful choice today that can change this current moment. 4. Stop trying to shift everything at once. 5. Celebrate and acknowledge all progress. Enjoy my short, and lively Periscope live stream on Why Your Children Need You To Get Your Groove Back. ]]> Why Women Need Permission tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2015:/theblog//3.8056862 2015-08-31T15:33:52-04:00 2015-08-31T15:59:01-04:00 Mia Redrick http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mia-redrick/ I've worked professionally as a life and business mentor to mom entrepreneurs for the last 13 years. I'm the mother of a 17-, 13- and 10-year-old. I built my business while my husband was on dialysis for five years, and never used the fact that my children were young or that my husband's health was comprised as an excuse to not honor my goals. Last year my husband had a successful kidney transplant. Through it all, I gave myself permission to do exactly what I wanted including three triathlons, building a successful business, joining a nationally syndicated television show, building a huge national brand, and taking excellent care of my family. I work with women who have goals that they want to realize, and I support them by creating systems to realize those goals without compromising their quality of life. The one common trait I see among my clients is their need for permission to invest in themselves without excuses. I wanted to share with you five key areas that I see over and over again among women regarding their need for permission to live their best lives. 1. Lack of Role Models -- I believe that women need permission because they haven't experienced enough female role models and mentors who have been unapologetic about their wants, dreams and desires. Instead, many of the women in their lives have made excuses about being successful and accomplishing their goals as a mom. They turn it into a conversation about convenience and waiting their turn -- as if success has ever been convenient and the "right time" will simply present itself. 2. Fear of Judgment -- Women seek permission, because oftentimes they judge other women when those women have chosen to give a voice to their dreams and acknowledge that motherhood alone will never fill the thirst of self-worth and esteem. The "permission seekers" haven't learned that surrendering their lives to being a mom and not acknowledging their own "me" in mommy will leave them resentful of their children and spouse, or feeling left behind and clinging to the days when their children were little. 3. Unrealistic Expectations for Themselves -- We seek permission because we often say yes to things that our partners never asked of us like putting them and our children on the calendar but leaving ourselves off, all in an effort to keep everyone happy. We live by a list of "shoulds" and "oughts" and in the end question why we never just showed up for ourselves, understanding that our family benefits when we add value to ourselves. 4. Guilt and Shame -- We need permission because some of our own mothers guilted and shamed us into believing that "doing it all" is easy, and that we should simply be grateful for our home, healthy children and the dream of happiness. Instead, it would be more beneficial if daughters knew what their mother's silent struggles were such as putting their lives on hold, or saying yes when they wanted to say no. Instead, some of our mothers felt powerless because no one else expressed their true feelings about being supermom and how unhappy that made them. 5. We Don't Want to Appear Weak -- We seek permission to admit that we are tired after working 40+ hours a week, picking our children up from school, child-care and extracurricular activities, piles of laundry, meals to make, etc. We want someone (anyone) to recognize that we need help like an occasional laundry service, groceries delivered, childcare help, etc. Seeking help shouldn't make us feel incompetent regardless of how effortlessly and seamlessly some women make it appear. The happiest mothers I know are the ones who aren't looking to escape from their lives with a spa appointment, get-away or vacation, but those who have said, "Damn it, I give myself permission to design a life, business and work that I want to come home to and that I deserve!" The most fulfilled women I know are the ones who have given themselves permission to be vulnerable enough to say they need support, and who have the clarity to ask for exactly what they need without seeking approval from anyone else. The only way I know to add value to anyone else is by adding value to myself! Mia Redrick is The Mom Strategist™ , Life and Business Mentor for Mothers. TV personality and Lifestyle Brand. Yes, I make house visits. Coming to a house near you. Want to know more? Visit miaredrick.com to grab the free download of my book Time for Mom-me: 5 Essential Strategies for A Mother's Self-care.]]> The Real Mama Drama tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2015:/theblog//3.7871594 2015-07-27T17:41:43-04:00 2015-07-27T17:59:01-04:00 Mia Redrick http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mia-redrick/ I've personally coached hundreds of mothers over the last ten years with navigating themselves, getting lost in motherhood, trying to reset their own purpose, and finding a sweet spot in motherhood to reduce overwhelm. I've worked with clients who have enviable lives on the outside including beautiful homes, the white picket fence and the dog, a family that they love and spouse who is supportive but at times even having it all doesn't fill the void that happens when the tipping point of home and work, extracurricular, community demands leaves you feeling drained day after day without any sign of an end in sight. Additionally, I work with women who have extraordinary circumstances including nurturing their children who have special needs like autism, cancer, cerebral palsy, adhd and spouses who are battling illnesses and addictions of alcohol or chronic affairs who have lost themselves at the time because of overwhelming stress and chronic life disruptions including hospital visits, excessive medication schedules or the worry that comes along with lack of trust in any relationship. The situations that I see each day I call the "real mama drama" and at some point in motherhood we all have to combat something. It might include a job or business loss, excessive weight gain and a loss of self-love, or being surrounded by a community that does nothing to fuel you or simply being lost in motherhood. It's true for us all. The truth is that I can relate to so many of the circumstances that many of my clients have experienced. Over the last seventeen years I've experienced the overwhelm that happens whenever I have grown my family and the new routines and challenges that result of having more responsibility and less time. I've experienced the triumphs of growing two awesome businesses and the crushing pressure of losing 6 figure accounts because of losing bids. I've experienced being the spouse who had to figure out how to honor her dreams while supporting her spouse who was on dialysis as a result of kidney failure for 5 years. I've struggled with fighting for time for myself as a means to stay sane when life isn't. Motherhood is hard and rewarding. That is the truth. Enjoying the journey has everything to do with how you manage the obstacles that are in front of you and the systems that you put in place to support your life. Fortunately, I also get to experience the results that occur when my clients invest and commit to themselves, their family and their dreams. They are happier because: 1. Overwhelm does not have to be a lifestyle that we choose. The only way out of overwhelm is to make the highest and best baby step that will lead you in a better position than you started each day. It doesn't matter what is in your way, all you have is your power in this moment to choose powerfully for yourself. 2. Staying stuck is a choice. I whine occasionally just because I'm human but I understand that in order for my life to change, I've got to want it too. If you find that your situation is not changing from day to day then it is likely that being stuck has become your way of life. You have accepted your circumstances as normal, and as a result the actions that you are currently taking support your newly embraced lifestyle. Change your choices and you will shift your results. 3. Be honest with yourself. Illusion isn't real. This sounds obvious, but so many of us are stuck in our "should and ought to's." We look at our lives and think "I have everything including a loving family, beautiful home, great job and I should be happy." Personally, I should be a size six but I am not. Well, maybe one day. I'm not, because I like wine and cake. That is honest. Get real with yourself about what truly brings you joy, fulfillment or sadness. Failure to be honest with yourself prevents you from being able to create systems for your happiness and overwhelm. What keeps so many of my clients from growing their lives is a failure to realistically trust what they feel no matter what. Trust your gut. 4. Get the support that you need I have to admit that I create amazing results when I have accountability in my life. This is true for most of us. If you find that your excuses have become your reason why you are not moving forward consider getting a mentor, coach or join a support group that can support you with seeing what is possible and the process of designing a life that you can love again. The most successful people in the world are accountable to a community to achieve their results. This is a winning formula which is true in motherhood also. I decided to write this post today because so much of the realities of motherhood seen today in the media don't highlight the silent struggles that most moms are dealing with every day. Hollywood is interested in the portrayal of sensational drama and if you are mom dealing with what I've mention above you never see your realities discussed, shared or solutions that can help you right now. Every day I experience the "real mama drama" and this is what it look like. I hope that something I have shared will support you in your journey today. Please be a great friend and send this article to another mom to let her know that she is not alone. Mama drama is real. Mia is a strategy coach for moms. Mia Redrick, The Mom Strategist mentor, entrepreneur, life-style brand and a best-selling author of Time for Mom-Me:5 Essential Strategies for A Mother's Self-Care,Time for Mom-Me: 365 Daily Strategies for a Mother's Self-Care empowers moms to live fully. She has worked as a nationally syndicated segment host on the Emmy nominated show America Now. Mia is an expert that teaches "how to" strategize the demands of motherhood and still "rock your life and business". She believes that when moms are fulfilled they are better mothers. Additionally, she has been seen coaching clients live on Emmy award winning The New Ricki Lake Show teaching America how any overwhelmed family can reclaim order and love. Mia's goal is to support one million of moms with reclaiming their lives. Want to know more? Visit miaredrick.com to grab the free download of my book Time for Mom-me: 5 Essential Strategies for A Mother's Self-care.]]> How to Make Money With Your Ideas tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2015:/theblog//3.7796328 2015-07-14T00:10:21-04:00 2015-07-15T10:59:02-04:00 Mia Redrick http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mia-redrick/ Over the last 10 years I've taught over seven hundred "mompreneurs" how to take their great ideas and leverage them into profitable programs, products, and services to help their target market. I love heart-centered entrepreneurs, but the problem is that many of us never ever make the conversion from free business to designing systems and models that are profitable. As a result, we often find ourselves out of business in no time. If you are spending your time, expertise, and talent supporting others with solving problems and creating solutions to improve their lives, then it is your responsibility to charge for your services. Here are my three simple Rs of creating and monetizing your products with your ideas: Record what you know -- Use your phone or purchase a digital recorder and start recording your speaking engagements and free consultations with your friends. Use those recordings to create products for your business. Before booking your next complimentary consultation with non-paying clients who want to "pick your brain" tell them that you are building content for your business, and would love to work with them complimentary in exchange for the opportunity to record the call to create content for your business. Repurpose what you say -- Take that amazing content you have been giving away for free and transcribe the recordings to create products. You could easily take a one-hour call and create an e-book/workbook to accompany the recording as a product for your business. Keeping a record of your content puts you in a great position to generate valuable giveaways for your target audience while also getting a sample of your core message in front of them. Rebrand and reposition yourself with amazing content -- Sometimes small business or newer entrepreneurs struggle to monetize their business because they have branded themselves as "free" coaches, consultants, and service providers. When you begin to package your products and services you will rebrand your intellectual know-how and allow your perspective clients to see the value of what you offer in a completely different way. This also allows you to redirect those people who want to "pick your brand" to a quality tool that can support them and allow you to begin to generate profit in your business. Mia is a strategy life and business coach for mompreneurs. Mia Redrick, The Mom Strategist mentor, entrepreneur, life-style brand and a best-selling author of Time for Mom-Me:5 Essential Strategies for A Mother's Self-Care and Time for Mom-Me: 365 Daily Strategies for a Mother's Self-Care empowers moms to live fully. She has worked as a nationally syndicated segment host on the Emmy nominated show America Now. Mia is an expert that teaches "how to" strategize the demands of motherhood and still "rock your life and business". She believes that when moms are fulfilled they are better mothers. Additionally, she has been seen coaching clients live on Emmy award winning The New Ricki Lake Show teaching America how any overwhelmed family can reclaim order and love. Mia's goal is to support one million of moms with reclaiming their lives. Want to know more? Visit miaredrick.com to grab the free audio of How To Build a Profitable Business in 4-6 Hours Per Week.]]> Why Women Compete With Other Women tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2015:/theblog//3.7035278 2015-04-09T20:39:20-04:00 2015-06-09T05:59:01-04:00 Mia Redrick http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mia-redrick/ For over 10 years, I've run a successful life-coaching business that has supported hundreds of women with starting businesses, writing their books, and designing better work/life strategies. The one experience commonly shared by my clients as they have endeavored to accomplish their goals is dealing with women who instead of supporting their success, compete with or sabotage them. You may have struggled with the same situation and have had trouble understanding why this has happened to you now or in the past. Women often feel justified competing with other women for many reasons. Here are some of the most prevalent. 1. Insecurity When a woman becomes aware of another woman's power, beauty and/or talent she has a few choices when considering how she will respond. She can either admire, copy or envy the woman who has these traits. Through my close association with women over the years, (I attended both an all-girls high school and college and my business caters to women), I learned that these are the typical responses that women consciously or subconsciously choose when they meet and assess other women. Women who admire strength in other women can only do so because they know what it required to develop that strength. They know that in order to attain brilliance in her life, business or career it took hard work, purposeful decisions and a commitment to self-improvement. These women haven't the time to compete or the energy to waste on envy because they understand and identify with the challenging nature of success. Then there are the women who admire a successful, strong woman and attempt to transform themselves into a carbon copy of her. These individuals haven't yet learned that duplication of another is never truly possible and that it is rarely fulfilling even once the goal is accomplished. That woman hasn't yet accepted herself, her gifts and her strengths -- she believes that everything good is outside of herself which, of course, just isn't true. These women work tirelessly to create a false version of themselves based on someone else's dreams, plans and goals. Imagine the energy and effort this takes. For me, it takes everything I have to focus on a plan for my life and to choose powerfully that which is best for me and my family each day. Picture the decision-making process for a person who lives her life this way. Imagine the thought process of someone who isn't true to herself and her talents -- who has to study another person before determining an action to take. This has to be exhausting. The women that envy other women's success tend not to like themselves. Seeing the sparkle of another diamond drives them to work harder to prove to themselves and to others that they are enough or that they are better (whatever that means). The path of envy is a dangerous one that leads to a dark hole that can only be filled by an inner shift in thinking. I've learned over the years that a woman who envies other women often does so because successful individuals remind her of a painful situation in her past. Maybe a confident person is a reminder of those times she was overlooked because she hadn't yet grown into the person that she is today. Painful experiences often prompt women to make unhealthy vows (like, "I'll show her she isn't better than me") to protect themselves from future hurt. While this energy can be very productive by becoming the motivating force that drives a woman to succeed, it is also very destructive because the foundation on which it is built is negativity. 2. A belief that life isn't abundant There are so many opportunities that await us all each day, but when we compete with others we believe that essentially only a subset of those opportunities are available to us. Big minds see the pasture and small minds see a plot of grass. If this is you, get out of your head and know that opportunities are only as available as your ability to be grateful. The state of thankfulness actually fulfills you and removes the blinders that inhibit you. When scarcity is your filter it means that you believe life is either feast or famine instead of the buffet that awaits you. 3. A belief that it's possible to dominate others According to the Oxford Dictionaries, the definition of domination is the exercise of control or influence over someone or something, or the state of being so controlled. Women are particularly guilty of this mindset in business. Women often believe that in order to move forward we have to conquer others, when in reality we are conquering ourselves. Success isn't the domination of others, it is self-mastery in order to create systems of consistent success. The truth is the only person you can control is you. A mindset that tells you otherwise is faulty and based on a small reality. Yes, you can create success and believe that you are winning but know that one person isn't a nation. 4. A need to prove to herself that she is okay When we don't feel "good enough," we tend to need external indicators to tell us that we are acceptable. When we experience personal growth, and work on how we think, we then understand that we are "good enough" because internally we are at peace with ourselves. No peace -- no joy. 5. An unhealthy need to be accepted by others A "Like" today is easily acquired and means nothing unless you actually like yourself. We live busy and out loud so that we don't have to deal with the true state of our hearts. It is so much easier to let the voice of the crowd or a group guide you and validate that little girl who hasn't yet learned to say, "I like me and, yes, that includes my hips, my thighs, my belly, and my education, and my upbringing was enough, etc." I teach my daughter that the first "like" that matters is that you like that girl you see in the mirror. When that happens, she (and you and I) will be free to live a life that honors her true self. I tell my clients that having compassion and grace for competitive women comes from understanding what motivates them. It doesn't make the behavior acceptable but understanding moves us to respond in a way that is positive for our own health and success. Dealing with competitive women is just one of the many issues with which I help my clients work through during my life and business coaching sessions. Business isn't just about marketing and financial strategies; it's about relationships. Understanding ourselves and others is a building block upon which we can create a life and a business that is both profitable and fulfilling. Sign up for my newsletter at www.miaredrick.com. and get a complimentary download of How To Create A Clear Vision for Your Life Audio and poster.]]> When Motherhood Swallows Your Identity, Do This tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2015:/theblog//3.6818096 2015-03-06T15:58:31-05:00 2015-05-06T05:59:01-04:00 Mia Redrick http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mia-redrick/ The truly selfish thing in motherhood is for your children and spouse to never know who you really are, because you don't know who you are any longer. We create a blueprint of motherhood for our children based on how we show up every day. I'll never forget walking upstairs and seeing a sign on my daughter's closed door that said, "Me Time In Progress -- Do Not Disturb." It told me that my daughter had learned the value of pulling away to refuel, relax and renew. Each of my three children have grown up with a mom who has insisted on the importance of her own self-care, but also in building a family culture that values being whole. It's our new normal for the children to see their parents loving themselves while also loving their family. We all get lost in motherhood and at some point, we get it wrong before we get it right, but we can always change if we want to. Your identity is your view of how the world sees you, and it is mostly formed by how you see yourself. 5 Ways To Reclaim Your Identity 1. Blend Do something consistently for yourself while also doing something for your children. When my children were toddlers, I would do squats every day when I took them to the park swing so that I could hit my daily goal of 100. I literally Google-searched the location of their sports practice location to find something cool for me to do while I waited for them. Other activities included joining a Curve's gym near my son's fencing practice so I could complete a 30-minute circuit, and I visited a local tea bar during my daughter's school play practice, which consistently allowed me time to unwind with a nice relaxing cup of tea. I've written chapters for my books while waiting for my children in the carpool line because I decided I had to include my interests and needs in my day. Make it fun. 2. Give up Frumpy Decide and commit to the fact that frumpy doesn't serve you. I find that when I look my best, I feel better. Choose three to five great outfits that always make you feel pulled together and confident. It doesn't take a lot of money to look great. I'm not a huge shopper, so I like a few staple items in my wardrobe that I know will always look great on me even on days where I'm just running around. We choose frumpy as our "comfort food" because we are uncomfortable with our changing bodies and maybe we don't feel as beautiful as we once did. 3. Do something that you used to love Just because you haven't gone to a class you loved in years doesn't mean that you still don't know how to paint, write, do yoga,or that you wouldn't love that speaker series. Take a minute after reading this article and sign up for something that you love. (If you take this action, please share what you signed up for in comments section.) 4. Take 15 minutes a day to reflect -- no matter what It's difficult to consider yourself when you don't make time to think about your needs. The reason you meet the needs of your children is because you make time to think about how to make their world great. I challenge you to do exactly the same thing for yourself. Ask yourself, "How can I make my world better?" 5. Validation is for parking lots The most important validation that you need is your own approval. Women are guilty of wanting everyone in their lives to say, "Now is the perfect time for you to go to the gym, spa, out with a friend, pursue that hobby (fill in the blank)." In reality, your family wants direction from you on what you need to be fulfilled and happy. You are the leader of your life. Are you leading it? We all get lost and swallowed up by the tasks and responsibilities of being a mom. What action will you take today to inspire the change that you seek? Take an action that will immediately move your life forward and then leave me a message here as to what you selected.]]> How to Find Your Purpose -- And Go For It tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2015:/theblog//3.6700216 2015-02-18T12:12:11-05:00 2015-04-20T05:59:01-04:00 Mia Redrick http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mia-redrick/ You might be trying to figure out your purpose or next steps in your career and maybe you aren't really sure where to start. What you might be thinking you want to do, might not even be something that you've ever seen before and you are wondering if your idea is possible. I have written this article for anyone struggling with finding their purpose. You might have a sketch of your idea but have no real plan on how to make your vision take flight. Here is my story. Sixteen years ago, I became a mother to my first child. Before becoming a mom I had no idea of what to expect or how much being a mother would influence my work, career and life. Sure I had ideals about what I wanted my life to look like but still I had no idea of how to "have it all" or create a life including all of what I wanted. Heck, I was struggling with defining what "all was" to begin with like so many people. My professional background is in training and development. I love to teach and inspire! I remember wanting to figure out a way to combine the three things that I loved most and that made me feel alive (teaching, training and being a mom) when I was pregnant with my second child. I realized that there really were no examples of a "mom strategist" for me to follow, but this is what screamed to me inside my soul whenever I was among other women who were mothers. I would experience every day that people would ask me for advice or strategy about how to make motherhood work. I learned that my gift was that I teach "The How To in Motherhood". Sure we all want balance but at the end of the day it isn't wanting balance or hearing someone talk about it that changes your life -- it is a strategy that can be applied that produces a successful outcome that moms really want. My gift was that I understood how to teach mothers successful strategies that consistently changed their lives for the better. I remember saying to my husband one night at bedtime that I wanted to go to work as myself and he replied, "I hope someone pays you to do that." We laughed but the truth is that I felt very alone about my lofty goal. There wasn't anyone to share my vision with about mom coaching. This is what I recommend to find your purpose: 1. Ask yourself, what do I you love? What do I enjoy? Sometimes we make identifying our purpose a science experiment, when it isn't. Recall what brings you joy in your life or in your work in some past experience. Start there. 2. Don't ask others to validate your dream because they can't. If it inspires you, commit to find a way to make it happen. I meet so many people who want to get a permission slip from others before they move forward for what is best for them. See a need and fill the void. 3. Start small with your ideas and have fun with it. I had no idea that combining my love of training and motherhood would result in personally coaching hundreds of women in both their life and business. I started working with one client at a time and perfected my craft. 4. Get a mentor. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. I hired a business coach who wasn't a mother however she ran a very successful six figure coaching business and showed me how to do the same. She owned her time and taught me how to build a business that allowed me to have both lifestyle and freedom. 5. Give yourself credit, you know more than you think. Sometimes we choose paralysis or inaction because we are afraid of making a mistake. The only way to learn is to try. Trust yourself and listen to that small voice called inspiration. Let it guide you. 6. Fine tune as you go. You will eventually learn from what works and be able to create systems from it. Perfection prevents us from being vulnerable and taking risks. If you find yourself always seeking the perfect moment or need others to stroke you before you can move forward. Stop it. You are enough. 7. Get started. I run a wonderful coaching program for moms called Core Moms Accountability. The moms in this program have gone from having a basic idea just like me to monetizing their dreams in just a few weeks. Just recently we had three participants write and publish their books within two months, two got corporate partnerships and one got a television contract within three weeks. They had success because they made time for their goals every day and took the right actions to support their results. 8. Surround yourself with a community of doers. I run a free goal setting group on Facebook called Mom Strategy -- Actions, Systems and Results to inspire women to take consistent actions each day. I'm inspired each day by the women who find that just being consistent with other goal oriented women they can accomplish so much. 9. Be patient with yourself. I kept my vision in front of me but I was never deflated by my mistakes and failures. I saw my mistakes as opportunities to readjust my direction. 10. Success will find you when you do what you love. While I'm still waiting for my call from Oprah for my own show, I have built an amazing business doing what I love and you will also. I've found that living out my calling has positioned me and my life with countless opportunities that support my vision. I now have three children and have been a full-time life and business coach for the last eight years. My work has allowed me to support hundreds of women with designing a business of their dreams. 49 of my clients have written books, several garnering corporate partnerships, national media, bestselling books, restored marriages and improved life systems. I have had the privilege to coach families live on The New Ricki Lake show, and join the cast of the Emmy nominated show America Now for their 4th season in addition to writing several Amazon #1 bestselling books and leading a coaching movement for moms nationwide through Time for Mom-me groups in partnership with national brands like Corner Bakery Café and Panera Bread Company. This all started from an idea to combine what I love to do into a business. I want you to understand this and be inspired to shoot for your goal from my story. No matter where you are right now, I want you to know that you can start. It is so easy to look at the success of others and not know how to begin with your big idea. I hope my story has encouraged you to begin and know that you can have amazing success. You can do this! Let me know if I can support you?]]> How to Start Over Without Regret tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2014:/theblog//3.6297448 2014-12-09T19:15:38-05:00 2015-02-08T05:59:02-05:00 Mia Redrick http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mia-redrick/ "But where do I start?" I asked myself over and over again. We've all had to start over in some area of our lives like our career, marriage, business, education, diet, etc. It is so easy to revel in the disbelief of the disappointment that we forget the power of pursuing what is next on the horizon if we keep moving. Here are my seven reminders on How to Start Over Without Regret: 1. Leverage your failures. Instead of quitting when things don't work out, leverage the learning from your failures. Ask yourself, "What is working or what did work in my situation or circumstance?" Write down even the small things that are your successes. When things don't go as planned, we often have the all-or-nothing attitude but instead, I want you to do more of what IS working. In my case, I was great at networking, but I was networking in the wrong locations with younger entrepreneurs and not attracting my ideal clients. What was working for me was networking, but I needed to change venues to network with professional women who could afford my services instead of marketing to women who were in startup businesses. 2. Dump your junk. Don't bring your old attitude and expect to create new outcomes. It's tough not to fault the things, people and reactions that have hurt you or caused you to start over, but if your goal is to start fresh, you can't do that reading yesterday's news. Dump your junk and move on and decide that it doesn't matter why it didn't work; it only matters that you have decided you deserve more in this new season of your life. Decide to give your new season a fresh start without baggage. (This one takes practice.) 3. Don't announce that you are starting over. Just do it. You don't need to validate your choices to make a change in your life. Just do it. Nike said it best. Move on and everyone around you will soon see the change in your life. Your next steps aren't about anyone but you being comfortable with your new choices and this new season. No public polls necessary. When we are insecure about our future we often consult others so that we feel better or to prepare them for our shift. This isn't required or necessary. 4. Recycle what worked. Don't discard everything that represents the failed marriage, job/career, etc. Instead, recycle the gifts that these experiences taught you. Even bad experiences start off good. So ask yourself, "What did I love about this experience and what would I never do again?" Use this restart opportunity as motivation to begin again wiser and stronger, and use your bag of tools called "learning lessons" as a result of your experience. 5. Prepare for your weak times. Plan in advance for those times when you will feel like going back to what did not work for you and create a solution in advance. It might mean that you delete phone numbers to prevent yourself from calling people in your weakest moments. It might mean not buying sweets for the house if you know that stress will make you eat more than your share. Whatever you do, plan for your weakest moments in advance. We all have moments where we vacillate between what is best for us and what is easy for us to have now. Challenge your "now" and replace it with what you want to see in your life long term. 6. Celebrate your baby steps. Remember to acknowledge all progress toward your new goal. Sometimes, we set milestones that are too far away instead of understanding that the long run is just a bunch of short runs, and that we can and should celebrate along the way. If you sell that business at a loss, celebrate that you are no longer attached to it. If you end a toxic friendship that lacked trust, rejoice that you now have room to create authentic new relationships. 7. Take a new route. The unknown is scary, but it is also equally scary to do what you know and continue down a dismal path. Give yourself permission to play bigger although you are starting over. So often when we start over we become timid and afraid to swing for the fences because we are so busy recovering from an intimate dance with failure. Understand that success is built on mistakes and lessons learned. You can still have what you want even if you didn't get what you wanted in the past. 8. Keep moving. Standing still is the recipe for disaster. I want you to move and try something different to change your view. As you move toward your new vision for your life, you will meet new people, opportunities and experiences waiting for you to play full out. I'm writing this column on The Huffington Post because I attended an event and had the privilege to introduce myself to Arianna Huffington and share my work with her, and as a result, learned about this opportunity. What if I decided to stay home that day and not attend that networking event? You wouldn't be reading this post. 9. Learn from your haters. Yes them. What others think of you really isn't your business so stop replaying that track. The people who study, watch and obsess over you know how powerful you are and that is why they are threatened by you. Instead of asking yourself, "Why do they hate on me?" Ask yourself, "What do they see in me?" It is the answer to this questions that will allow you to elevate this energy and understand that your haters are there to teach you a very important lesson. They see your talent, brilliance and potential sometimes more than you do. Starting over is inevitable. Share with me how you are planning your new start.]]> Why Women Stay Stuck (And How to Get Unstuck) tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2014:/theblog//3.6271628 2014-12-05T12:55:45-05:00 2015-02-04T05:59:01-05:00 Mia Redrick http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mia-redrick/ During this time of the year I often become reflective of the goals that I have reached and plan how I want to jumpstart the New Year. This year, I felt stuck in my career after shooting 20 plus segments as The Mom Strategist™ for the Emmy nominated show America Now. I wanted to go from one syndicated show to the next one and that did not happen. I reached out to agent after agent and studio executives sharing my "reel" with amazing feedback but still no takers. Needless to say, I was bummed and disappointed that my amazing work was not met with a flood of new opportunities. To get unstuck I had to get real with myself about how to move through this period in my career. I had to take different actions to create new possibilities and opportunities. I learned some simple truths that supported me and that I know will support you in the business of your life. As I created strategies with my coaching clients over the last twelve years they all found themselves asking the exact same question at some point, "Why am I stuck in a certain area of my life?" We all battle that feeling of staying in the same place or that our life is not moving fast enough in the direction we would like it to go. We rock, kick, cry, murmur and complain mostly about ourselves in our weakest area(s) of growth. Nothing changes in our lives until we make a decision to move in a different direction. But how do we move when life paralyzes us by fear, anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed? What do we do to get unstuck? Here are eight reasons why we find ourselves "stuck" and my truths for how to get unstuck: 1. To keep up appearances We are afraid to let the people we interact with everyday know just how bad we are hurting, disappointed or discouraged. Instead we put on our brave faces to keep up appearances. Truth: You can not get what you need pretending like you already have it and that everything is okay when it is not. You are the one responsible for being vulnerable with the right people who can influence your situation for the better. You have to be willing to say exactly what you need so that you can attract it in your life. 2. We don 't want to be judged If we make a bad choice or decision we often are our biggest critics replaying over and over how we screwed up. We judge ourselves so much that we become afraid of openly sharing what we need with others because we fear additional judgment. Truth: Give yourself a break. If you share your issues, problems and concerns with the right people you will not risk judgment but instead gain support. If you feel judged by your village it is time to up-level your tribe. 3. Change is hard. Doing things in a way that is familiar does not stretch or stress. Instead, we continue doing things that do not necessarily serve our highest good. We forget about creating a grace period for the transition of change. Give yourself realistic time to adjust to the new ideas and opportunities that will move your life in a new direction. Truth: Comfort is the enemy of change. The next time you struggle with doing the things that will advance your life like working out, going back to school, or asking for that promotion, get real with yourself about what feeling you are after. Are you seeking comfort or change? 4. We stay in circles that stifle our growth. We have all been guilty of having relationships that are one-sided (you do all the calling to check-in, etc.), or friends who are not interested in moving forward or looking forward to their own personal growth and development. We surround ourselves with people who are not in a position to advise, guide or cheer us on in the new dreams we have in our lives. Truth: You have outgrown your relationships and it is time for you to build relationships with people who are at your ambition level and above. 5. We allow people to take more than their share. If you find that you are the person giving all the advice, money, time and energy to support those around you, and those same people look the other way when you have a need, you have taught them how to treat you and it is time for you to shift those dynamics. Truth. Giving too much creates toxic relationships because they drain and create demands that are unrealistic, not sustainable and they devalue our gifts. 6. We set low expectations for ourselves. We are capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for. Women minimize their successes and small gains and maximize their failures. When we reduce our accomplishments instead of celebrating them we squelch our motivation to set bigger goals. Truth: We often minimize ourselves because we are afraid of our brilliance. We are intimately familiar with failure and are not as afraid of failing. Succeeding at something new prompts a different type of fear in us. It is the fear of the unknown that truly scares us. Again, we become afraid to be brilliant because it requires us to be vulnerable to others and ourselves. 7. We lack accountability. Who is taking a stand for your success, dreams and plans? We hide from ourselves by isolating ourselves from others when we are stuck. We keep the dirty little secrets about our fears and challenges to ourselves so that we can wallow in self-pity instead of creating strategic actions to bring about change. Truth: Get a mentor, coach or consultant who will challenge the change inside of you and hold you accountable. Stop running and hiding and pick up the phone and call a person in a position to support your growth. (Yes, you might have to pay for this service. You are worth it!) 8. Invest in yourself. You are a product of the books you read, classes you take, programs you view on the television/computer and the people you hang out with. Are your investments paying off for you? When was the last time you read something (other than this article) that could influence your life for the better? Truth. Invest in your life. As for me, I decided to write a few shows for myself to create opportunities in the media space. I connected with a team of people to advise and teach me best practices to make my dream of "quality mama drama" programming to become a reality. Standing still is never a solution to solving the challenges in our life. Share with me how you get unstuck.]]> What Every Mother Needs to Teach Her Daughter About Being A Mom tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2014:/theblog//3.5908458 2014-10-01T14:34:59-04:00 2014-12-01T05:59:01-05:00 Mia Redrick http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mia-redrick/ When I was six months pregnant with my first son, my mother told me to promise her that I would always "date myself" and make time for my own life independent of motherhood. My mom had gotten lost in the minutia of motherhood and did not want me to repeat this pattern in my life. My mom explained that in order to be a great mom and to sustain that greatness, you must also be good to yourself. I said, "Yes" to my mother's request without truly knowing what to do for "me time" dates. Sixteen years ago, "me time" wasn't a buzzword and moms weren't openly discussing work/life balance. I did not have a blueprint to follow for what to do during my alone time, so I made up my own. I joined a mothers' group while I was pregnant and was the only mom who did not yet have a baby. As I met with these mothers each week, they all said the exact same things like, "I don't have any time for myself," or, "I feel guilty for taking time alone," and "My spouse doesn't really understand or support me when I say I need help." After listening to these moms, I decided to commit to 90 minutes of alone time each week and create systems for my self-care. I immediately told my husband what days and times I would consistently practice "me time." I played with so many scenarios during my 90-minute power outings, including going to the local Barnes & Nobles to read a book, or Panera Bread or Corner Bakery Cafe to have a cup of coffee and salad. I booked tickets to lectures series, wine tastings and cooking classes, and eventually used that time to write my first book, Time for Mom-me: 5 Essential Strategies for A Mother's Self-care where I outlined the most important steps to begin to honor your own self-care. The process of self-discovery and building personal relationship with myself while being a mom was paying off because I felt fulfilled as a person. I didn't feel defined by my work or any role that I played like wife and mother, business owner, volunteer etc., I benefited directly from the experiences I had in each part of my life because I liked my life and myself. It's been 16 years since I made that commitment to myself. I now have three children and I have dated myself once a week since the beginning. I often laugh when I listen to stories about how women feel the need to "strike a balance" in their lives, because a major point I've gleaned from my alone time is how to learn from my imbalance. It has been the imbalance in my life that has told me what I need to ask for from others, the boundaries I need to set or the type of additional systems that were necessary for me to stay sane. I have a black belt in self-care rituals and most of what I learned came from realizing how I benefited when I did things for myself while also taking care of my children. This is the most efficient way to practice what I call ritualistic self-care. My commitment to "me time" dates for the last 16 years has taught me to trust the choices I've made in my life and to be clear about what is most important. I never saw "me time" opportunities as maintenance moments like getting a pedicure or massage, although I do enjoy those things. Instead, spending that time was more about doing something to enrich my life vs. just maintaining it. Spending time alone has allowed me to understand that imbalance is the greatest gift in my life because its symptoms tell me exactly what I need. For example, when I feel tired, I know that I need to create a routine that allows me to rest more. When I find myself in the car all the time the imbalance tells me that it is time to do less. These moments alone have taught me to treasure and truly listen to the imbalance in my life. I am so grateful that I have a mom who was compassionate enough to request that I take care of myself instead of telling me to "do it all." My mother knew firsthand the price of doing it all and the personal toll that this illusion creates for so many mothers who get lost in motherhood. I've learned that when you know who you are as a mother because you are in touch with yourself, your children have the opportunity to truly get to know you also. Every time I go to an event, participate in a race and do something that I enjoy, my children benefit directly. They will not grow up not knowing who their mom is as a person. One of the best ways to enhance any relationship is by dating. Think about your most meaningful relationships with your friends, partners and spouse. Did you date them frequently? Dating yourself does exactly the same thing and when you date yourself, you add value to the relationship that you are a part of. Today, I host annual Time for Mom-Me Retreats & Experience™ weekends to support moms in building substantive systems in their lives to support both their personal and professional growth. I believe that when women get clear about themselves they choose so much more powerfully in every other area of their lives and for others. You can learn more about my Time for Mom-Me Retreats & Experience™ weekends. If you are on the fence about what "me time" can do for you I simply want you to take 90 minutes for you for six weeks. Join one of my support groups for free at www.timeformom-me.com and learn a simple system to commit to taking care of yourself. And Grandmas (or soon-to-be grandmas)... I implore you to share the importance of "me time" with your daughters and particularly your "new mom" daughters, and help them get clear about taking care of themselves so that they don't lose themselves in motherhood. ]]> Every Mom's Back-to-School Wish List tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2014:/theblog//3.5689315 2014-08-19T14:10:11-04:00 2014-10-19T05:59:02-04:00 Mia Redrick http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mia-redrick/ Pulling up to the local Walmart was my best choice for knocking out all of the supplies at one time however, I was not prepared to see 10 aisles of school supplies and a list that was not in alphabetical order! I have not had to purchase school supplies for the last 13 years because my children's school always provided them. Needless to say, this was a new process for me. I learned a few things during my shopping treks to Walmart, Office Depot and Staples, and thought my reflection might encourage you in your back-to-school shopping. Alphabetize the list of school supplies Really! What's the deal with requiring parents to get the same supplies year-to-year and not putting the items in alphabetical order to make the list easier to follow? Perhaps it would make sense to group similar items on the list (for example, folders and binders) so parents can eliminate some of the running back and forth between aisles. List the top three places to purchase school uniforms. Everyone shops differently but giving parents a selection of multiple places to purchase school uniforms takes the guess work out of the buying process. Couldn't the PTA provide a list of their favorite places to purchase uniforms? #IJS Provide a list of recommended brands. This would be especially helpful for items like backpacks. Let's face it, local schools and teachers know the best brands that result in less water damage and breakage, so why not share that information with parents to help them save time and money? If teachers and schools are leery about singling out specific brands they could at least share the past recommendations of other parents. Don't ask for "four" dry erase markers because they are packaged in units of six. What's up with that? Ask for six markers so that parents can end their search and select items that are readily available. Let parents know the amount of time they can estimate spending on the supply purchase so they are not blindsided. While I enjoyed the process because it reminded me of my childhood and selecting my school supplies with my mother, it still took me several hours to sift through supplies. There are so many options today -- from folders with cool peace signs to an assortment of pencils bags in varying designs -- that the process really does require time to shop thoughtfully. I had no idea it would take as long as it did. When I first entered the store and saw the number of supplies to choose from, I thought about parking my shopping cart and starting fresh in the morning. It was overwhelming because there were so many things to choose from. Have dinner prepared for mom on her return home. Let's be clear... shopping for school supplies is right up there with shopping on Black Friday and holiday shopping. It is exhausting! Comfortable slippers at the door, a glass of wine, and dinner already prepared is what every mom needs when she returns from back-to-school shopping! I'm very thankful that my family is done with its back-to-school shopping. Do you have any tried and true back-to-school shopping ideas you would like to add to my list?]]> Why Don't We Tell Women The Truth About Motherhood? tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2014:/theblog//3.5672896 2014-08-12T17:45:07-04:00 2014-10-12T05:59:07-04:00 Mia Redrick http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mia-redrick/ When I became a mom 16 years ago, my mother told me that one of the hardest aspects of being a mom is not losing yourself and your identity in motherhood. She was right, and every week I meet new women who struggle not with balance, but with a loss of their self-identity. Without knowing who you truly are it becomes extremely difficult to experience joy even when it appears that you have it all. The notion that "having it all" is a goal is ambitious in motherhood and in life. Think about it for moment. When is having it all ever good for you? Having all the cake, wine, chocolate, work, recognition, etc., sounds good in the beginning but what we always discover from having too much is that we experience diminishing returns as a result of excess. So, what do we really want? We live in a world that says more is better and that being a superwoman makes you live a more fulfilled life, but does it? I've personally found that being connected to the "me" in mommy is what has allowed me to choose the best for both myself and my family. I've found that if I have the trappings of success, all-around great kids, a great spouse, a beautiful home, great career and vacations, and yet I still crave a moment to hear myself think "then on some level I'm really not all that happy." The truth is that motherhood has become a competitive sport. Women keep score by comparing how well their children are doing because of their guidance, care and love. Women sport their hot bodies days after pregnancy to illustrate they they've got the answer and secret formula for getting rid of the muffin top. The truth about motherhood is that you have to design and create a working formula for your own life. Someone else's DNA isn't your story or your obstacle. The truth is you are responsible for figuring out what your purpose is and the plan to make your happiness it a reality. The truth is that owning your power no matter whether you are happy or unhappy is what can change the direction of tomorrow for you. Having coached women to achieve amazing things like becoming bestselling authors, host international tours, build profitable speaking platforms, get syndicated radio shows or save their marriages because they worked on themselves and become better mothers, I know that the most important component of success is not simply the achievement of the goal but the ability to elevate your life and to experience joy because of what you have accomplished. Women aren't really looking for balance; they are looking for joy, and for too long we have seen imbalance as problematic when in reality it is your imbalance that guides you to find your passion or to end your unhappiness. The truth is imbalance isn't sexy, but what has served my clients throughout the years and me as well is to understand and get clear about where the imbalance exists. If the imbalance is that I am lost in motherhood then my time, action and energy is to create activities to address my imbalance. If my hobbies are non-existent, then I know exactly the area in my life that I need to take action on to begin doing something that I love. Too many women work hard to create balance in their lives when their power lies in addressing the symptoms of imbalance. What if we told women that doing it all isn't going to fulfill you but instead looking at the weeds in your life and pulling them and replanting with flowers that you want to grow instead is what works because it is? The reason that women haven't told one another the truth is because we have tried for too long to fit balance into a formula as a goal to live a fulfilled life as a mom. In actuality, the truth is that your life is never going to be balanced as a mom and it doesn't need to be in order for you to be happy. Honestly, most of your days will be imbalanced. Your wisdom and power lies in your ability to see what this means for you, and to answer the parts of your life that make you the least fulfilled with action, steps, and strategies that move you in the direction where you want to be. The truth is your imbalance is your gift to everything you need and want.]]> How to Survive Crisis or Change as a Family tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2014:/theblog//3.5619410 2014-07-25T14:38:39-04:00 2014-09-24T05:59:07-04:00 Mia Redrick http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mia-redrick/ We made a decision as a couple that for us to thrive as a family we had to learn how to embrace change. We never complained to our children about daddy's dialysis treatments and schedule because we chose to embrace it. As a result of our attitudes and decision to live our extraordinary lives our children never developed resentment or felt that daddy's evenings away were a bad thing. I'm writing this for any parent who might have to introduce change to their child or children and are struggling with where to begin. Our journey wasn't perfect but it certainly was resilient. I learned that my children never internalized that their dad was less available or sickly because he had kidney failure. My children saw therapy as a gift and whether we were traveling locally or internationally they saw that dad could always find a way to be healthy. They never interpreted any limitations on their dad or on what our family could do, be or have because of dialysis. If you a struggling with introducing change to your family here are a few things that I've learned over the years to move forward during changes in life: Set a date to move your change forward Nothing happens until you decide that you are willing to embrace and make a change in your life. Hope is not a strategy but taking action in the direction of the change that you desire will help you make progress toward your situation every time. In our case, Patrick made the decision to begin his dialysis treatment proactively. Ask for what you want and don't ask for what you don't want When moving in a new direction in your life, I want you to know that you are always in control of your choices. So many people respond to change as if they no longer have power over the decisions that they make in their lives and that is not true. We looked at the best possible options for treatment and ultimately decided on a 2:00-6:00 p.m. schedule because it allowed Patrick to have his days free for work and to drop the children off at school. Reach for the highest and best solution for yourself If you find that you never get what you want or that you it takes you a long time to obtain what you want to accomplish, I want you to look at the options that you are selecting for yourself. Are you choosing what is the best and highest solution for you? I want you to write down the five best scenarios for any situation that you want to change and rank them in order of your preference. Patrick consulted with his doctors about many different dialysis treatment options and did home dialysis for awhile because it was an option. This option gave us more flexibility and Patrick greater freedom for his therapy. Mentally adjust to the best option for you without consulting your ego How many times have you decided to make a decision because your ego told you, "you need this, you deserve this, they need you, you should be able to..."? I know you can finish that sentence. When deciding on choosing what is best for you the solution will always bring you closer to peace, ease and joy. Period. If the options that you choose for yourself result in inner calamity and discord revisit your choices. We did what made the most sense for our family without guilt. Embrace your new path Different ways of doing things bring new insight, people and opportunities to personally grow. You can't celebrate what is in front of you if you aren't willing to embrace the goodness in front of you. I see people do this all the time when they move to a different neighborhood, change jobs, doctors or partners. They struggle to give their new experience a chance. They overplay the magic of the old relationships only remembering the good times and forgetting that it took time and commitment to make that journey great. If you decide to change directions, then embrace your new path wholeheartedly. At one point Patrick commuted for years to a medical team in Pennsylvania from Maryland for the type of medical support he needed. We embraced it and did not struggle with the commute. Change is emotional The truth is that change brings out both good and bad crazy emotions in people. When you choose what is best for you, it might mean that it isn't what is best for someone else and as a result, they might not celebrate your choice publicly or privately. Patrick and I learned that you have to do what is right for you and your family. We always had great medical teams supporting his journey but we had to switch dialysis centers several times throughout the years based on what was best for us to give him what he truly needed to be healthy. It wasn't always popular but it was the right choice. Show Up and Play Full Out The day will come for you to fully show up and savor your new adventure. Arrive early and stay late so that you can learn about the new opportunity that is in front of you. Connect, network and learn how to make the most out of your new experience without fear. Just because it is unknown doesn't mean that bad things will follow. Trust and expect the best. We arrived at the hospital on March 12th early, eager and excited to learn about Patrick's and our family's new journey. He is doing amazing! ]]> Redefining Motherhood: Taking Care of the Me in Mommy tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2014:/theblog//3.5396733 2014-06-04T11:07:42-04:00 2014-08-04T05:59:05-04:00 Mia Redrick http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mia-redrick/ So why is it that when moms say they need a break they often hear the following comments: • You will miss your children when they are gone. • Be thankful that your children are healthy. • I did it and didn't have... your house, money car, etc. • You need to be more organized. • Motherhood is a gift. • That's impossible! On the other hand, if a woman tells others about a stressful day she's had at her workplace she will likely be given empathy and provided with solutions to solve her issues. The same doesn't seem to hold true in motherhood. Mothers are expected to take stress on the chin and "suck up" their anxieties because it is an indictment on them and in some way implies they are doing something wrong. If they cry for help on a disappointing day, it suggests they aren't a "good enough mother." If they say they need some time to themselves, it somehow implies they are being selfish. Right? Not true! I am the mother of three children ages 9, 12 and 15. I believe in taking care of myself so that I can be a great mother to my children. Almost 16 years ago, I began a process of intentional self-care where I would spend 90 minutes a week away from my husband and children to get clear about me. I've also taught thousands of other mothers how to do the same in my Time for Mom-Me™ support groups. I have hosted over 283 of these groups nationwide, helping moms build a foundation for their own self-care in motherhood, which most often is non-existent. The stigma of self-care and motherhood has kept moms from having a blueprint or examples of how other mothers take care of themselves. I started my journey of self-care when I was just six months pregnant with my first child. My mother sat me down and told me that she wanted me to always stay connected to my own needs, goals, plans and dreams while being a mom. My mom had gotten lost in motherhood and knew that giving everything to her own children was great for us, but it left her without the ability to pursue her interests, nurture her friendships, improve her self-esteem and share life-enriching hobbies with her children. She is a great mother who realized that her ability to grow with her amazing children was stalled by her lack of investment in herself. She did not want that to continue in my family. She asked me to "date myself every week in motherhood." I honored her request. I have learned the following from "dating myself" over the past 16 years: • If you don't make your own self-care a priority no one else will. I had to state what I needed to de-stress and not expect anyone to give me permission to take care of myself. • Be intentional about your needs. I had to identify for myself the daily self-care targets that I needed to hit so I could refuel myself. For me, it started by taking 15 minutes a day to meditate and pray. Over time, I got better at adding to my needs list. My goal was to become more SelfFULL and less SelfLess because my life benefited from that. • Stop trying to do it all. This was hard because moms often invalidate one another by trying to do it all and then judge other moms when they aren't able to do the same. Yes, I have days when I bring the cupcakes, go to all the games and practices and pick up two or three extra children to hang out, but I've learned that I'm happiest when this is not the daily goal. I've given that up for myself and my family benefits directly from this powerful choice. • Stop justifying your needs. Talking about what you need to people who don't understand puts you in a position where you feel you have to explain why you need downtime. I give myself what I need and I don't seeking the approval of others to validate my choices. It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks if they aren't doing the carpooling, cooking, etc. You have a right to have your needs met. • Embrace the imbalance of motherhood. My children have seasons where life is crazy busy because of commitments. When this happens, I modify my responsibilities accordingly. It might mean that I switch around dinner or that I cook in bulk so we have leftovers to warm up. It might mean that I exercise whenever or wherever I can fit it in so that I accomplish that important task. I don't, however, continue with the same personal requirements of myself when we are in the midst of our craziest seasons. During those times, I change my job description and get the support and help I need to get things done. While I am trying to strike a balance, I also embrace the imbalance that is in front of me and plan accordingly. I was recently interviewed by a reporter who asked me why moms need "me time" to begin with -- as if it was a dirty word. There is a notion that if I take time for myself it somehow suggests I must not be giving my family all that they need. None of this is true! Damaging stereotypes suggest that moms can "do it all," however, many moms later discover that "doing it all" all of the time isn't sustainable for personal happiness and fulfillment. If you said that you needed to take some personal time in your workplace no one would immediately think you wanted to give less to your employer. Instead, they would see you expressing a need to recalibrate or "balance" your life. The same is true in motherhood. I encourage you to rethink how you envision moms, "me-time," time for mom-me, self-care, etc. Many moms don't articulate what they need because they feel like they are the only ones who are finding a need to reduce the overwhelm and burnout in their lives. Please don't minimize their feelings or set out to compete with them to prove that you can make it all happen and they can't. That is not the point! The point is that we are moms and we have the right to feel free to express our need for rest, relaxation and to refuel. We are not machines. Even though we try to make it look easy, it isn't at all. Moms have feelings and we want a safe place to say, "I need a break not because I don't love my family but because I also love myself." When you are done reading this article, tell five moms that you know that taking a break is good for them! ]]> 6 Ways to Ignite a Spark in Your Marriage tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2014:/theblog//3.5353437 2014-05-20T14:16:40-04:00 2014-07-20T05:59:03-04:00 Mia Redrick http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mia-redrick/ My husband and I celebrated our 19th wedding Anniversary on December 29th last year. One of the secrets to the success in our marriage is that we make dating one another a non-negotiable. So how do couples, and particularly ones with children, make it a priority to continue romancing one another? While it might not always be easy to implement, dating your spouse works best as a dedication to your marriage. Not doing so can result in a lack of intimacy and personal connection. My husband and I decided to get creative about keeping the spark ignited in our marriage after spending way too many evenings at home not knowing what we should do together. Today, we consistently date bi-weekly. Our children love seeing their mom and dad connect (although they often say "gross" or "yuck"). Dating one another isn't about our children; it is about the two of us taking a stand for our relationship and taking steps to make sure it is a good one. It is about us doing what we need to do to prevent growing apart because of the busyness of life and business. Here are some recommendations to help you commit to dating your spouse: • Book your babysitter in advance. When our children were younger we scheduled our babysitter(s) in advance as a standing order. Our sitter would arrive at 7pm every Friday night whether or not we had plans. Committing to the sitter forced us to get out of the house and figure out something for the two of us to routinely do. • Create a date box for you and your spouse. Sometimes the children will go to bed as scheduled and you and your sweetie might have an opportunity to date at home. You can store date ideas in your date box such as watching a movie together, giving a massage, or opening a special bottle of wine and actually breaking out the good wine glasses. The idea is that the date is already planned and waiting for you inside the date box. The two of you can add to the date box as you come up with new experiences and ideas. The date box allows you to make use of those rare moments when you are able to have some quality time because all the planning is already done. • Subscribe to a concert series or check out free concerts in your community. My husband and I have gotten pretty creative over the years and have attended concerts, cooking classes, wine tastings, and book signings to keep our nights out together interesting. We love doing things in groups because we have the opportunity to meet other couples as well. • As a challenge, go on dates that cost less than $5.00. The goal is to build intimacy and connection, and add quality into your relationship without creating another expense. Identify 5-10 things that you can do that cost less than $5.00. My husband and I love to go to our favorite bookstore, free museums, and coffee shops, take garden tours, and enjoy scoops of ice cream. The goal is talk to one another, hold hands, and connect. You don't need a big date budget to do that. • Get dressed up at least once a quarter. Go out for a nice dinner and dancing for a change of pace. Sometimes our partners are only dressed up for work. When they get home from work the first thing they want to do is get comfortable and we don't get to experience them looking good for just us. • Send the children to the grandparents or a good friend's home for the weekend. There is nothing like enjoying your home alone with your partner. When my children were young we couldn't always find someone to watch our children overnight so instead we would send them to their grand mom's for a few hours and date in our home alone (Shhhhhhh...). The point is that keeping things exciting in your marriage means you have to commit to building a culture of commitment, connection and closeness. Dating your partner will give you both the opportunity to rebuild and rekindle that loving feeling.]]>


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Premature EjaculationHow Never To Ejaculate Early on In the course of Having sex - 2 Breathtaking Strategies For Sex activity That Usually lasts (Just Like Magic!)October 22, 2013 0 Comments
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Most radishes have sprouted and a few seeds of the salad mix. I put the stevia and okra seedlings on the balcony (in the shadow) for a few hours to begin hardening them off.
Salad Leaves 'Niche Mixed' Sprouting
A few seeds of the salad mix sprouted (and 22 radishes)
Radish 'Saxa 2' Sprouting
Raphanus sativus
22 radishes sprouted (there are also some similar looking sprouts from the salad mix)
Okra Hardening Off
Abelmoschus esculentus
A few hours on the balcony in the shadow.
Stevia Hardening Off
Stevia rebaudiana
A few hours on the balcony in the shadow.


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