text:
Hip Hops
Scorched Earth's Finest
By Evan George and Alex Brown
Drive south along the San Diego shoreline in fall, spin inland toward the breweries of San Marcos and Escondido, grab a pint of double-hopped West Coast IPA at a beach-front pizzeria in Carlsbad and you'll deeply comprehend why Southern California beer tingles: It is the epitome of nature in a bottle, from a place where nature means teal waves and blonde babes.
Eric Williams
Restaurant Review
Itsa Italian Ice
A real treat, whatever the weather
By Maren Tarro
It might seem a little strange to review frozen dessert when it's, to borrow a phrase common in the Midwest, "colder than a witch's booby in a brass bra." But hear me out. Seasonally resplendent foods are great, but eventually steaming soups and endless turkey reincarnations get tiring. Sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I need to rebel and duck out for some good, holiday-inappropriate chow.
Public Domain
EVENT HORIZON (Saturday, May 28)
Wine Not?
Albuquerque Wine Festival
By Monica Schmitt
Sample wines, live music, food trucks, jewelry and crafts.
Tomorrow's Events
South American Wine Pairing Dinner at Pueblo Harvest Café
A five-course meal that celebrates South American wine and cuisine. Reservations required.
Tasty Wednesdays at the Farm Shop at Los Poblanos Historic Inn & Organic Farm
ABQ Pride APPLE Bites at Amore Neapolitan PizzeriaMore Recommended Events ››
tartar control and more • 7.20.2016
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Projectile strikes Yemen hospital, killing 4: Doctors Without Borders
In this Google map, Yemen is pictured.
The Associated Press
Published Sunday, January 10, 2016 11:26AM EST
SANAA, Yemen -- The aid group Doctors Without Borders says a projectile from an unknown source has hit a hospital it supports in Yemen's northern Saada province, killing four and injuring 10.
The group, known as MSF, says in a statement that the Sunday attack in the Razeh district led to "the collapse of several buildings of the medical facility."
Of those injured at the Shiara Hospital, three are MSF staff, and two are in critical condition, it said. All staff and patients have been moved to another hospital also supported by MSF.
"The numbers of casualties could rise as there could still be people trapped in the rubble," the group said.
"All warrying parties are regularly informed of the GPS co-ordinates of the medical sites where MSF works," said Raquel Ayora, the group's director of operations. "There is no way that anyone with the capacity to carry out an airstrike or launch a rocket would not have known that the Shiara Hospital," was an MSF-supported medical facility.
MSF operates in eight Yemeni provinces at a time when many foreign aid groups and even United Nations personnel have been evacuated. It has been working at the impacted hospital since November. The group said this was the third "severe incident" in a health facility it supports in Yemen.
Shiite rebels known Houthis took over the capital, Sanaa, in September 2014; in March, a Saudi-led coalition started launching airstrikes against Houthi and allied forces' positions.
Saada, a Houthi stronghold, has faced a particularly intense bombardment.
More Stories from World
- Thai man bloodied but unbowed after being attacked by snake on toilet
- Two U.S. navy fighter jets collide off North Carolina coast
- WHO: Nearly 960 killed in attacks on hospitals in 2 years
- Missing hiker wrote, 'When you find my body, please call my husband'
- 'All indicators' confirm U.S. killed Taliban leader: Pakistan


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May 26
Thu '16
Busy with an 18 month old!
Another busy month and a half in our household. I'll try to summarize as best as I can without being too boring.
I have been working a lot more than I would like, unfortunately, so that is taking a lot of my time. But I can't complain about the added money. Means I can buy more things for Ezri!
Speaking of my favourite little girl, Ezri turned 18 months old this month!!! A year and a half, I can hardly believe it. She has changed our lives so much and I just can't imagine life without her. She's learning so much and becoming a wonderful little girl. She can say Mom, Dad, ball and auntie. She's very vocal but most of the time doesn't make any sense in her words. It's still very cute and she'll soon be talking our ears off, I'm sure. When she wants something, she'll point and say "mmm?" She can shake and nod her head when we ask her a question. Sometimes I think she knows what we're asking. Other times she just shakes/nods her head as an answer because she can. She LOVES to drink water and oranges are her favourite food. She has 9 teeth and that includes 1 molar that included a fever for 2 days when it came in. She's weighing just over 19lbs and is about 30″ in height.
Dare I say this out loud? I am sure it will jinx it all to hell. So our little girl has been sleeping a lot better than she ever used to. We've had at least 10 nights in the past couple months where she has slept 10-13 hours without us having to go in and settle her. Now, these nights weren't consecutive or anything, but it's definitely a start. She still wakes up and whines or cries for a minute or two, but then she settles herself back to sleep. It's a miracle, seriously! I am so grateful for the nights we have had and I will keep my fingers crossed that it will become a regular thing. She's also improved on her napping schedule. She can usually nap anywhere from 1.5 hours to 3 hours. Yeah Ezri. Sometimes, on days I'm not working, I even get to nap when she's napping! Haha.
Ezri and I started another round of swimming lessons in April and we are enjoying them so much. I think it's been Ezri's best set so far. She's doing well at all of the "skills" except she hates back floats (although she does them anyway) and she can't quite blow water bubbles. She tends to open her mouth and lick and drink the water instead. It's really silly but I am sure she will get it eventually. Oh yeah and she can't quite jump off the side into the pool. She can do it from a sitting position, but not standing. Again, I'm sure it will come.
Peter, Ezri and I ventured downtown in April to attend another Calgary Comic Expo. It is always an enjoyable time. However we did something different this year. I decided to wanted to get Connor Trinneer's autograph. He was Trip in Enterprise and Michael in Stargate Atlantis. I really enjoyed both his major characters so I decided it was finally time to get an autograph. I've always been too cheap, but I felt different this year. So the first thing we did was stand in line for that. It took about 45 minutes and that's only because Connor was 1/2 an hour late to show up. After the signing, we wandered around the exhibitors for a bit. We found a few new pieces of artwork and Peter bought a bat'leth (Klingon weapon from Star Trek). Nothing too exciting this year as Peter had to jet off to work after we were done. You can read about previous expo fun here: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.
I'm working on a new layout for the blog as this one has been up for a few years (yikes) and it is time for a bit of a change. Look for that (not so) soon!
Well life is crazy sometimes and I'm definitely looking forward to what comes next!
Apr 6
Wed '16
Tired and busy
I've been so tired lately that I've been in bed before 8pm for the past little while. Or at least sleeping by 9PM. Sigh, what kind of life must I have eh?! With work, responsibilities and Ezri, I have a full plate in front of me. I am picking up some extra hours the next couple weeks at work as well as our manager is in Hawaii (jealous!) and I am doing some of the managerial duties. It's okay, it's only for 2 weeks this month and 2 weeks next month. Money!! Yay.
Ezri and I are starting our 4th round of swimming lessons on Friday. I am so excited. I really hope that Ezri will excel a bit more each class now that she is a bit older. We have to practise blowing bubbles under the water! She doesn't mind being dunked, but just putting her face under and keeping it there is tentative. I think I am a little nervous too. So we will both work on it together with the instructors!
I've been yearning to complete a puzzle, but every time I bring out the pieces, Ezri continuously grabs them off the table and I have to chase after her to get them back. She can reach so far onto higher surfaces now that it's practically impossible to do anything she shouldn't touch. I don't want to lose any pieces either. Ah, well, it might have to wait until she is older and understands not to touch them. It's a learning thing. She's getting there. So many things she knows she is not supposed to do because we've told her a million times. She gets it eventually! Kids are so smart.
I bought Star Wars yesterday and Peter and I watched it today. We saw it for the first time just over a month ago in the theatres and so we were anxious to see it again. I can't believe we waited 2.5months to see it the first time! We just didn't have a chance to get away before then. It's tough to go out on dates when you have a baby (toddler I guess now). My Mom is really great about baby sitting if we need it though. She's my hero.
Well, as you can see, I haven't had much of a life lately, but non-eventful can be good as well!
Mar 29
Tue '16
A great Easter weekend
We had a lovely Easter weekend this year! Holidays are so much more fun when there is a little person around. It's the innocent joy that a child experiences that is so amazing. I was lucky enough to have a friend in town for the weekend and so she was happy to see Ezri's excitement too. Before Ezri woke up, I made sure that I hid all of her toys so that she came downstairs and only saw what the Easter bunny left for her. It worked like a charm because Ezri was so excited to see all the eggs all over the living room. Although, she didn't quite get the point of putting them into the basket. She would try to carry as many as she could in her arms instead. As soon as she found more, she would drop the ones in her hands to pick up the new ones lol. I tried to show her how to put them into the basket and carry it around but she wasn't having any of it. So cute anyway. I had put little treats into those little plastic eggs and I said to everyone that if she could figure out how to open them, then she could have the chocolate. Well when she was shuffling the eggs around, one of them burst open. The chocolate went straight into her mouth, no hesitation at all. Of course after that she knew how they worked and managed to get a few more open. We had to take the eggs away eventually because we didn't want her to eat too much candy. After all, it wasn't even 10am and she hadn't had breakfast yet. She crashed from her sugar high at nap time beautifully, btw!! Haha.
In addition to too much chocolate for a 16 month old to handle, she also received Minnie & Mickey stuffies that were dressed up as bunnies. She LOVES them! She carries them around everywhere and gives them to anyone she sees to give them hugs. Then she takes them back and gives them hugs too. She also received an magnetic drawing board as she has been learning how to colour and hold a pen. She loves it as well.
In addition to a lovely Easter morning, I had a glorious long weekend as well. I took the weekend off work and so it was a real treat to have a nice girl's weekend. On Good Friday, we hit up Costco and Michaels for supplies and then spent the rest of the afternoon knitting and watching movies. In fact that is what the whole weekend consisted of. It was so nice to relax and have a good time with a great friend. She feels more like a sister to me, to be honest. I am sad that she lives almost 5 hours away. We try to make the most of our visits that we can!
We had our Easter dinner on Saturday so that my friend could enjoy it with us. So many delicious dishes. We had slow cooked ham, devilled brussels sprouts, sweet potatoes, cheese corn, scalloped potatoes, homemade buns and of course grasshopper pie for dessert!
Because my friend is such a close friend, we refer to her as Auntie with Ezri. This weekend Ezri started saying "Ahh-tee," and it was the most adorable thing ever. She is slowly saying more and more things and it's so cute every time she learns a new word or gesture. My baby is growing so much!!
Anyway, I know it's going to be an even better Easter next year as Ezri continues to grow and learn!
Oh! On another note, I really want to write a post about knitting and my WIPs! I am hoping that will come soon!!! I am so excited about my current project so I want to share with everyone.


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text:
With three weeks to go in the 2012 season, Dallas and Pittsburgh are playing for its playoff lives on Sunday.
A preview:
The series: The teams have played each other in three Super Bowls, with the Steelers taking a 2-1 edge. Overall the teams have faced each other 30 times and the series is tied, 15-15. The last time these teams met was 2008 in Pittsburgh where the Steelers rallied for a 20-13 victory.
What a loss does for the Cowboys: It won't end their playoff hopes from a mathematical standpoint, however, it makes it harder for the Cowboys to reach the postseason as the division champ and they most likely will need help from other teams to reach the playoffs as a wild card. Several of the Cowboys players have said winning out is the best way to reach the postseason. In some ways, the Steelers are in the same boat.
Dez Bryant plays, right?: Of course he does. The Cowboys most dominant offensive player suffered a fractured left index finger in last week's victory over Cincinnati. He will play with a tape-up splint in the game and how it affects him is unknown, but it's clear the Cowboys need him. Also, Morris Claiborne has some issues. He suffered a concussion in the Bengals game and after missing practice on Wednesday, left Thursday's practice after getting dizzy. He's questionable, like Bryant, but it would be a surprise if he plays.
The run game gets better: With DeMarco Murray's return, the Cowboys have rushed for 172 yards and rushed 57 times the last two games. The Cowboys need Murray's ability to make plays in the run game, regardless of how the line is playing and coach Jason Garrett trusts Murray more than Felix Jones when it comes to running the ball. If the game remains close, or the Cowboys have a lead, expect Murray to get touches, like 15-to-25.
Welcome back Todd Haley: The Steelers offensive coordinator was a receivers coach with the Cowboys from 2004-to-2005 and then he moved to passing game coordinator in 2006. Haley leads an offense that's 11th in total offense, but has just the 25th rushing offense in the NFL.
A tribute for Jerry Brown: The Cowboys will wear a No. 53 decal on their helmets to honor practice squad linebacker Jerry Brown, who died last week in a single-car accident in which teammate Josh Brent was charged with intoxication manslaughter. There will be a moment of silence before the game for Brown and for the victim's of Friday's school shooting in Connecticut.


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Fertilizer Stories
FertilizerFactors To Consider When Placing Fertilizer With Seed
September 24, 2014
The type of crop, fertilizer source, row spacing and soil environment all affect how much fertilizer can be safely applied with seed. Read More
FertilizerSidedressing Manure Into Corn Has Promising Results
September 24, 2014
Applying manure to growing crops can boost yields, reduce nutrient losses and give livestock producers another window of time to apply manure to farm fields. Read More
FertilizerWhen To Sample Manure For Analysis
September 24, 2014
Because the goal is to collect a sample that represents the manure actually being applied, the best time to sample is during loading or field application. Here's why. Read More
FertilizerCF Industries Confirms Merger Of Equals Discussions With Yara International
September 23, 2014
CF Industries Holdings, Inc. has confirmed that it is in preliminary discussions with Yara International regarding a potential merger of equals transaction. Read More
FertilizerFall Fertility 2014: Forecasting Fertilizer Use
September 7, 2014
Great crops this year have tapped the soil, and fall work is definitely called for, but how challenging will that get? Read More
FertilizerKoch Expands AGROTAIN Nitrogen Stabilizer Portfolio
August 26, 2014
Koch Agronomic Services, LLC has added two new innovative nitrogen stabilizers to the AGROTAIN product family – AGROTAIN ADVANCED and AGROTAIN DRI-MAXX. Read More
FertilizerFertilizer Companies Blame City For West, TX, Explosion
August 6, 2014
El Dorado Chemical Co. and CF Industries contend the city failed to properly train the first responders and had insufficient protocols in place to battle the April 17, 2013, blaze at West Fertilizer Co. that triggered the explosion. Read More
FertilizerCF Industries Sells Carbon Credits To Chevrolet, Donates Proceeds To FFA
July 17, 2014
CF Industries has completed the sale of a large block of carbon reduction credits to Chevrolet, and will donate the net proceeds of $600,000 to the National FFA Foundation. Read More
FertilizerCF Industries Resumes Production At Oklahoma Nitrogen Complex
July 17, 2014
The company had shut down production at the Woodward, OK, facility in April to address an issue in one of the site's boilers. Read More
FertilizerHow To Minimize Phosphorus Losses In Runoff
July 15, 2014
Phosphorus losses from agricultural fields can be divided into three categories: flash losses of soluble phosphorus, slow leak losses and erosion events. Here's how to minimize losses in each instance. Read More
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May 23, 2016
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text:
Flood Warning - Murray River upstream of Hume Weir
Australian Government Bureau of Meteorology
This flood warning covers both the Victorian and New South Wales
parts of the Murray River catchment upstream of Lake Hume.
Final Flood Warning for the Murray River U/S of Lake Hume
Issued at 11:02 am EST on Wednesday 11 May 2016
In the 24 hours to 9am Wednesday, recorded rainfall totals were generally less
than 20mm in the Murray River catchment upstream of Lake Hume. Rainfall totals
up to 20mm are possible for the remainder of Wednesday.
High stream levels are expected to continue along the Murray River upstream of
Lake Hume for the remainder of Wednesday into Thursday.
Upstream of Jingellic
Snowy Hydro advise that at 10:30 (24 hour time) releases from Khancoban were
below the Minor Flood Flow (113 m3/sec) and that they are expected to remain
below that level for this event.
The Murray River at Bringenbrong peaked below the Minor Flood Level (3.0
metres) overnight Tuesday into Wednesday.
The Murray River at Jingellic is expected to remain below the Minor Flood Level
(4.0 metres) for this event.
SES advises that all community members should:
Never walk, ride or drive through floodwater,
Never allow children to play in floodwater,
Stay away from waterways and stormwater drains during and after heavy rain,
Keep well clear of fallen power lines
Be aware that in fire affected areas, rainfall run-off into waterways may
contain debris such as ash, soil, trees and rocks, and heavy rainfall increases
the potential for landslides and debris across roads.
Current Emergency Information is available at http://emergency.vic.gov.au
For emergency assistance contact the SES on 132 500.
Current Road and Traffic Information is available at the VicRoads website:
Weather Forecast:
For the latest weather forecast see http://www.bom.gov.au/vic/forecasts
Next Issue:
No further flood warnings will be issued for this event.
Latest River Heights:
Murray R. at Biggara 1.03m steady 10:15 AM WED 11/05/16
Murray R. at Bringenbrong 2.4m steady 10:15 AM WED 11/05/16
Corryong Ck. at Towong 1.25m rising 08:45 AM WED 11/05/16
Tooma R. at Pinegrove 1.95m steady 10:15 AM WED 11/05/16
Cudgewa Ck. at Berringama 1.62m steady 05:45 AM WED 11/05/16
Cudgewa Ck. at Cudgewa North 0.65m steady 05:30 AM WED 11/05/16
Murray R. at Jingellic 2.55m steady 05:45 AM WED 11/05/16
Jingellic Ck at Jingellic 1.43m steady 10:15 AM WED 11/05/16
Tallangatta Ck. at McCallums 0.82m steady 08:45 AM WED 11/05/16
Flood Warnings, Flood Watches, River Height and Rainfall information are
available on the Bureau of Meteorology web site at
http://www.bom.gov.au/vic/flood/. Flood Warnings and Flood Watches for
Victorian Catchments are available on: Telephone Weather Service No. 1300
News.com.au Weather Warnings table provides the latest in severe thunderstorm alerts, strong wind alerts, local and rural bushfire warnings, and other hazardous weather conditions for each state


text:
'Bling Ring' cop under fire for compromising prosecution - by playing himself in Hollywood movie about the crimes
A detective who worked on the 'Bling Ring' case has been taken off all investigations after it emerged he had served as a paid consultant on a film about the crimes without getting permission from superiors.
Brett Goodkin, who appears in the film as himself, busted a group of youths in Los Angeles, California who robbed the homes of celebrities.
The gang stole $3 million worth of goods from the homes of Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Orlando Bloom, Audrina Partridge and others.
Under fire: It has emerged that LAPD officer Brett Goodkin has been working as a paid consultant on a film about The Bling Ring - yet the cases are ongoing
Goodkin, a veteran detective, helped catch the gang four years ago - and was approached by filmmaker Sofia Coppola to advise on her docudrama.
He earned as much as $6,000 serving as a technical adviser and for playing himself in The Bling Ring, the Los Angeles Times reported.
But there are fears that the details he has provided could hurt the prosecution's case - as trials for three of the defendants are still pending.
Goodkin, who was recently filmed handcuffing a suspect played by British actress Emma Watson, would be expected to testify in the cases.
Filmmaker: Sofia Coppola paid Goodkin to advise her on her film The Bling Ring
Stars: The film features Kirsten Dunst, left, and Emma Watson, right, both seen on set. Goodkin is playing himself in the movie, the LA Times reports
Thomas Mesereau, a criminal defense attorney, told the Times: 'Clearly, it presents a conflict of interest if someone's investigation becomes oriented toward creating a story or entertainment.
'It's certainly going to taint the investigation's motives and make them look unprofessional.'
Also troubling is that Goodkin did not inform the Los Angeles County district attorney's office of his role with the film.
Robert A. Schwartz, the attorney for defendant Courtney Leigh Ames, said
he plans to request the felony charges against his client are dismissed.
Crimes: One of the 'Bling Ring' youths can be seen outside the home of reality TV star, Audrina Partridge, in surveillance camera footage
Robbed: The homes of Paris Hilton (left) and Lindsay Lohan (right) were robbed by the gang, who took off with $3 million worth of goods in total
Victim: Actor Orlando Bloom's home was also ransacked for pricey goods
'For him to be paid to play himself in a film where he is a critical witness against my client is highly inappropriate, and I'll certainly make sure the jury knows about it,' he said.
An LAPD spokesman told the LA Times that Goodkin has been put on desk duty following the revelations and is under investigation.
After the Times told the LAPD of the role, a spokesperson said: 'We did not know. Now that we do we have to evaluate what impact this may have.'
Goodkin said he mostly discussed police procedures with the filmmaker, and insisted he did not reveal much information about the case itself.
He added that he told supervisors about his part in the film in January, but it is believed he failed to get proper approval.
Caught: Among the thieves were Alexis Neiers, left, who served one month of a six-month sentence. Ringleader Nick Prugo will go to prison for two years
Waiting: Courtney Ames is one of the three suspects yet to go on trial
Ames, Diana Tamayo and Roy Lopez Jr. have pleaded not guilty and are awaiting trial for their alleged parts in the crimes.
Nicholas Prugo, believed to be the group's ringleader, has already accepted a plea deal and will go to state prison for two years.
Rachel Lee, who allegedly masterminded the crimes with Prugo, is currently serving four years behind bars.
Coppola is currently filming the movie, which stars Emma Watson and Kirsten Dunst, in Los Angeles.
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Beginning in the Summer I 2016 semester, Delta State University will offer a post-baccalaureate certificate in health sciences. To complete the certificate, students are required to take 24 credit-hours from a list of
Home » News and Events » Page 8
Delta State University President William N. LaForge has named alumnus James E. Rutledge Jr. as vice president for Finance and Administration at Delta State University. Rutledge, an accounting graduate from Delta State in
Transfer students who are members of the honor society Phi Theta Kappa will be welcomed to Delta State's campus on April 29 for Early Registration Day. The event provides the opportunity for this group of incoming students
Delta State University recently announced the promotion of Dr. Vicki Bingham to the position of dean of the Robert E. Smith School of Nursing. Bingham, who has served as chair of the department for 12 years, will take
Dominique Rashad Warren, a Delta State University biology graduate in 2013, is making his mark in the world by serving in the Peace Corps. Warren has been with the organization since October of 2015. Despite being based


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The two things doctors said would cause him the biggest hardship have instead become the roots of Cam Calkoen's success.
Mr Calkoen was born with cerebral palsy and has limited mobility and affected speech.
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Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesiaby Elizabeth Gilbert
View All Available Formats & Editions
A transformational journey through Italy, India, and Bali searching for pleasure and devotion—the massive bestseller from the author of The Signature of All Things
This beautifully written, heartfelt memoir touched a nerve among both readers and reviewers. Elizabeth Gilbert tells how she made the difficult choice to leave behind all the/b>/i>
- Overview
- Editorial Reviews
- Product Details
- Related Subjects
- Read an Excerpt
- What People Are Saying
- Meet the author
A transformational journey through Italy, India, and Bali searching for pleasure and devotion—the massive bestseller from the author of The Signature of All Things
This beautifully written, heartfelt memoir touched a nerve among both readers and reviewers. Elizabeth Gilbert tells how she made the difficult choice to leave behind all the trappings of modern American success (marriage, house in the country, career) and find, instead, what she truly wanted from life. Setting out for a year to study three different aspects of her nature amid three different cultures, Gilbert explored the art of pleasure in Italy and the art of devotion in India, and then a balance between the two on the Indonesian island of Bali. By turns rapturous and rueful, this wise and funny author (whom Booklist calls "Anne Lamott's hip, yoga- practicing, footloose younger sister") is poised to garner yet more adoring fans.
Editorial Reviews
The Washington Post
"An engaging, intelligent, and highly entertaining memoir."—Time
"A meditation on love in its many forms—love of food, language, humanity, God, and most meaningful for Gilbert, love of self."—Los Angeles Times
"This insightful, funny account of her travels reads like a mix of Susan Orlean and Frances Mayes."—Entertainment Weekly
"This is a wonderful book, brilliant and personal, rich in spiritual insight."—Anne Lamott
Product Details
- 9781611762587
- Publisher:
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- Publication date:
- 09/26/2013
- Sales rank:
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- Product dimensions:
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Read an Excerpt
Eat, Pray, Love
By Elizabeth Gilbert
Viking AdultISBN: 0-670-03471-1
Chapter OneI wish Giovanni would kiss me.
Oh, but there are so many reasons why this would be a terrible idea. To begin with, Giovanni is ten years younger than I am, and-like most Italian guys in their twenties-he still lives with his mother. These facts alone make him an unlikely romantic partner for me, given that I am a professional American woman in my mid-thirties, who has just come through a failed marriage and a devastating, interminable divorce, followed immediately by a passionate love affair that ended in sickening heartbreak. This loss upon loss has left me feeling sad and brittle and about seven thousand years old. Purely as a matter of principle I wouldn't inflict my sorry, busted-up old self on the lovely, unsullied Giovanni. Not to mention that I have finally arrived at that age where a woman starts to question whether the wisest way to get over the loss of one beautiful brown-eyed young man is indeed to promptly invite another one into her bed. This is why I have been alone for many months now. This is why, in fact, I have decided to spend this entire year in celibacy.
To which the savvy observer might inquire: "Then why did you come to Italy?"
To which I can only reply-especially when looking across the table at handsome Giovanni-"Excellent question."
Giovanni is my Tandem Exchange Partner. That sounds like an innuendo, but unfortunately it's not. All it really means is that we meeta few evenings a week here in Rome to practice each other's languages. We speak first in Italian, and he is patient with me; then we speak in English, and I am patient with him. I discovered Giovanni a few weeks after I'd arrived in Rome, thanks to that big Internet cafe at the Piazza Barbarini, across the street from that fountain with the sculpture of that sexy merman blowing into his conch shell. He (Giovanni, that is-not the merman) had posted a flier on the bulletin board explaining that a native Italian speaker was seeking a native English speaker for conversational language practice. Right beside his appeal was another flier with the same request, word-for-word identical in every way, right down to the typeface. The only difference was the contact information. One flier listed an e-mail address for somebody named Giovanni; the other introduced somebody named Dario. But even the home phone number was the same.
Using my keen intuitive powers, I e-mailed both men at the same time, asking in Italian, "Are you perhaps brothers?"
It was Giovanni who wrote back this very provocativo message: "Even better. Twins!"
Yes-much better. Tall, dark and handsome identical twenty-five-year-old twins, as it turned out, with those giant brown liquid-center Italian eyes that just unstitch me. After meeting the boys in person, I began to wonder if perhaps I should adjust my rule somewhat about remaining celibate this year. For instance, perhaps I could remain totally celibate except for keeping a pair of handsome twenty-five-year-old Italian twin brothers as lovers. Which was slightly reminiscent of a friend of mine who is vegetarian except for bacon, but nonetheless ... I was already composing my letter to Penthouse:
In the flickering, candlelit shadows of the Roman cafe, it was impossible to tell whose hands were caress-But, no.
No and no.
I chopped the fantasy off in mid-word. This was not my moment to be seeking romance and (as day follows night) to further complicate my already knotty life. This was my moment to look for the kind of healing and peace that can only come from solitude.
Anyway, by now, by the middle of November, the shy, studious Giovanni and I have become dear buddies. As for Dario-the more razzle-dazzle swinger brother of the two-I have introduced him to my adorable little Swedish friend Sofie, and how they've been sharing their evenings in Rome is another kind of Tandem Exchange altogether. But Giovanni and I, we only talk. Well, we eat and we talk. We have been eating and talking for many pleasant weeks now, sharing pizzas and gentle grammatical corrections, and tonight has been no exception. A lovely evening of new idioms and fresh mozzarella.
Now it is midnight and foggy, and Giovanni is walking me home to my apartment through these back streets of Rome, which meander organically around the ancient buildings like bayou streams snaking around shadowy clumps of cypress groves. Now we are at my door. We face each other. He gives me a warm hug. This is an improvement; for the first few weeks, he would only shake my hand. I think if I were to stay in Italy for another three years, he might actually get up the juice to kiss me. On the other hand, he might just kiss me right now, tonight, right here by my door ... there's still a chance ... I mean we're pressed up against each other's bodies beneath this moonlight ... and of course it would be a terrible mistake ... but it's still such a wonderful possibility that he might actually do it right now ... that he might just bend down ... and ... and ... Nope.
He separates himself from the embrace.
"Good night, my dear Liz," he says.
"Buona notte, caro mio," I reply.
I walk up the stairs to my fourth-floor apartment, all alone. I let myself into my tiny little studio, all alone. I shut the door behind me. Another solitary bedtime in Rome. Another long night's sleep ahead of me, with nobody and nothing in my bed except a pile of Italian phrasebooks and dictionaries.
I am alone, I am all alone, I am completely alone.
Grasping this reality, I let go of my bag, drop to my knees and press my forehead against the floor. There, I offer up to the universe a fervent prayer of thanks.
First in English.
Then in Italian.
And then-just to get the point across-in Sanskrit.
Chapter TwoAnd since I am already down there in supplication on the floor, let me hold that position as I reach back in time three years earlier to the moment when this entire story began-a moment which also found me in this exact same posture: on my knees, on a floor, praying.
Everything else about the three-years-ago scene was different, though. That time, I was not in Rome but in the upstairs bathroom of the big house in the suburbs of New York which I'd recently purchased with my husband. It was a cold November, around three o'clock in the morning. My husband was sleeping in our bed. I was hiding in the bathroom for something like the forty-seventh consecutive night, and-just as during all those nights before-I was sobbing. Sobbing so hard, in fact, that a great lake of tears and snot was spreading before me on the bathroom tiles, a veritable Lake Inferior (if you will) of all my shame and fear and confusion and grief.
I don't want to be married anymore.
I was trying so hard not to know this, but the truth kept insisting itself to me.
I don't want to be married anymore. I don't want to live in this big house. I don't want to have a baby.
But I was supposed to want to have a baby. I was thirty-one years old. My husband and I-who had been together for eight years, married for six-had built our entire life around the common expectation that, after passing the doddering old age of thirty, I would want to settle down and have children. By then, we mutually anticipated, I would have grown weary of traveling and would be happy to live in a big, busy household full of children and homemade quilts, with a garden in the backyard and a cozy stew bubbling on the stovetop. (The fact that this was a fairly accurate portrait of my own mother is a quick indicator of how difficult it once was for me to tell the difference between myself and the powerful woman who had raised me.) But I didn't-as I was appalled to be finding out-want any of these things. Instead, as my twenties had come to a close, that deadline of THIRTY had loomed over me like a death sentence, and I discovered that I did not want to be pregnant. I kept waiting to want to have a baby, but it didn't happen. And I know what it feels like to want something, believe me. I well know what desire feels like. But it wasn't there. Moreover, I couldn't stop thinking about what my sister had said to me once, as she was breast-feeding her firstborn: "Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit."
How could I turn back now, though? Everything was in place. This was supposed to be the year. In fact, we'd been trying to get pregnant for a few months already. But nothing had happened (aside from the fact that-in an almost sarcastic mockery of pregnancy-I was experiencing psychosomatic morning sickness, nervously throwing up my breakfast every day). And every month when I got my period I would find myself whispering furtively in the bathroom: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for giving me one more month to live ... I'd been attempting to convince myself that this was normal. All women must feel this way when they're trying to get pregnant, I'd decided. ("Ambivalent" was the word I used, avoiding the much more accurate description: "utterly consumed with dread".) I was trying to convince myself that my feelings were customary, despite all evidence to the contrary-such as the acquaintance I'd run into last week who'd just discovered that she was pregnant for the first time, after spending two years and a king's ransom in fertility treatments. She was ecstatic. She had wanted to be a mother forever, she told me. She admitted she'd been secretly buying baby clothes for years and hiding them under the bed, where her husband wouldn't find them. I saw the joy in her face and I recognized it. This was the exact joy my own face had radiated last spring, the day I discovered that the magazine I worked for was going to send me on assignment to New Zealand, to write an article about the search for giant squid. And I thought, "Until I can feel as ecstatic about having a baby as I felt about going to New Zealand to search for a giant squid, I cannot have a baby"
I don't want to be married anymore.
In daylight hours, I refused that thought, but at night it would consume me. What a catastrophe. How could I be such a criminal jerk as to proceed this deep into a marriage, only to leave it? We'd only just bought this house a year ago. Hadn't I wanted this nice house? Hadn't I loved it? So why was I haunting its halls every night now, howling like Medea? Wasn't I proud of all we'd accumulated-the prestigious home in the Hudson Valley, the apartment in Manhattan, the eight phone lines, the friends and the picnics and the parties, the weekends spent roaming the aisles of some box-shaped superstore of our choice, buying ever more appliances on credit? I had actively participated in every moment of the creation of this life-so why did I feel like none of it resembled me? Why did I feel so overwhelmed with duty, tired of being the primary breadwinner and the housekeeper and the social coordinator and the dog-walker and the wife and the soon-to-be mother, and-somewhere in my stolen moments-a writer ...?
I don't want to be married anymore.
My husband was sleeping in the other room, in our bed. I equal parts loved him and could not stand him. I couldn't wake him to share in my distress-what would be the point? He'd already been watching me fall apart for months now, watching me behave like a madwoman (we both agreed on that word), and I only exhausted him. We both knew there was something wrong with me, and he'd been losing patience with it. We'd been fighting and crying, and we were weary in that way that only a couple whose marriage is collapsing can be weary. We had the eyes of refugees.
The many reasons I didn't want to be this man's wife anymore are too personal and too sad to share here. Much of it had to do with my problems, but a good portion of our troubles were related to his issues, as well. That's only natural; there are always two figures in a marriage, after all-two votes, two opinions, two conflicting sets of decisions, desires and limitations. But I don't think it's appropriate for me to discuss his issues in my book. Nor would I ask anyone to believe that I am capable of reporting an unbiased version of our story, and therefore the chronicle of our marriage's failure will remain untold here. I also will not discuss here all the reasons why I did still want to be his wife, or all his wonderfulness, or why I loved him and why I had married him and why I was unable to imagine life without him. I won't open any of that. Let it be sufficient to say that, on this night, he was still my lighthouse and my albatross in equal measure. The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving. I didn't want to destroy anything or anybody. I just wanted to slip quietly out the back door, without causing any fuss or consequences, and then not stop running until I reached Greenland.
This part of my story is not a happy one, I know. But I share it here because something was about to occur on that bathroom floor that would change forever the progression of my life-almost like one of those crazy astronomical super-events when a planet flips over in outer space for no reason whatsoever, and its molten core shifts, relocating its poles and altering its shape radically, such that the whole mass of the planet suddenly becomes oblong instead of spherical. Something like that.
What happened was that I started to pray.
You know-like, to God.
Chapter ThreeNow, this was a first for me. And since this is the first time I have introduced that loaded word-GOD-into my book, and since this is a word which will appear many times again throughout these pages, it seems only fair that I pause here for a moment to explain exactly what I mean when I say that word, just so people can decide right away how offended they need to get.
Saving for later the argument about whether God exists at all (no-here's a better idea: let's skip that argument completely), let me first explain why I use the word God, when I could just as easily use the words Jehovah, Allah, Shiva, Brahma, Vishnu or Zeus. Alternatively, I could call God "That", which is how the ancient Sanskrit scriptures say it, and which I think comes close to the all-inclusive and unspeakable entity I have sometimes experienced. But that "That" feels impersonal to me-a thing, not a being-and I myself cannot pray to a That. I need a proper name, in order to fully sense a personal attendance. For this same reason, when I pray, I do not address my prayers to The Universe, The Great Void, The Force, The Supreme Self, The Whole, The Creator, The Light, The Higher Power, or even the most poetic manifestation of God's name, taken, I believe, from the Gnostic gospels: "The Shadow of the Turning".
I have nothing against any of these terms. I feel they are all equal because they are all equally adequate and inadequate descriptions of the indescribable. But we each do need a functional name for this indescribability, and "God" is the name that feels the most warm to me, so that's what I use. I should also confess that I generally refer to God as "Him", which doesn't bother me because, to my mind, it's just a convenient personalizing pronoun, not a precise anatomical description or a cause for revolution. Of course, I don't mind if people call God "Her", and I understand the urge to do so. Again-to me, these are both equal terms, equally adequate and inadequate. Though I do think the capitalization of either pronoun is a nice touch, a small politeness in the presence of the divine.
Culturally, though not theologically, I'm a Christian. I was born a Protestant of the white Anglo-Saxon persuasion. And while I do love that great teacher of peace who was called Jesus, and while I do reserve the right to ask myself in certain trying situations what indeed He would do, I can't swallow that one fixed rule of Christianity insisting that Christ is the only path to God. Strictly speaking, then, I cannot call myself a Christian. Most of the Christians I know accept my feelings on this with grace and open-mindedness. Then again, most of the Christians I know don't speak very strictly. To those who do speak (and think) strictly, all I can do here is offer my regrets for any hurt feelings and now excuse myself from their business.
Traditionally, I have responded to the transcendent mystics of all religions. I have always responded with breathless excitement to anyone who has ever said that God does not live in a dogmatic scripture or in a distant throne in the sky, but instead abides very close to us indeed-much closer than we can imagine, breathing right through our own hearts. I respond with gratitude to anyone who has ever voyaged to the center of that heart, and who has then returned to the world with a report for the rest of us that God is an experience of supreme love. In every religious tradition on earth, there have always been mystical saints and transcendents who report exactly this experience. Unfortunately many of them have ended up arrested and killed. Still, I think very highly of them.
Excerpted from Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
What People are saying about this
Gilbert's prose is fueled by a mix of intelligence, wit and colloquial exuberance that is close to irresistible.—The New York Times Book Review
An engaging, intelligent, and highly entertaining memoir.—Time
A meditation on love in its many forms—love of food, language, humanity, God, and most meaningful for Gilbert, love of self.—Los Angeles Times
This insightful, funny account of her travels reads like a mix of Susan Orlean and Frances Mayes.—Entertainment Weekly
Meet the Author
Elizabeth Gilbert began her writing journey with two acclaimed works of fiction: the short story collection Pilgrims, a finalist for the PEN/Hemingway Award, and the novel Stern Men, a New York Times Notable Book. These were followed by three works of nonfiction: The Last American Man, which was a finalist for the National Book Award and the National Book Critics Circle Award, and two memoirs, Eat, Pray, Love and Committed, both of which were number one New York Times bestsellers. Gilbert's work has been published in more than thirty languages. In 2008, Time magazine named her one of the 100 most influential people in the world. She lives in Frenchtown, New Jersey. Her Web site is www.elizabethgilbert.com.
Brief Biography
- Hometown:
- Hudson Valley, New York
- Date of Birth:
- July 18, 1969
- Place of Birth:
- Waterbury, Connecticut
- Education:
- BA, New York University, 1991 (Political Science)
- Website:
- http://www.elizabethgilbert.com
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