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John R. MacArthur is publisher of Harper's Magazine and author of the book You Can't Be President: The Outrageous Barriers to Democracy in America. This is the text of a keynote address delivered at Columbia College Class Day on May 15, 2012, in New York City.
President Bollinger, Provost Coatsworth, Vice President Dirks, Dean Valentini, members of the class of 2012 and their parents, honored guests.
I realize that many among you are disappointed that I am not the president of the United States. I want you to know that I share your disappointment.
There was a time when I harbored ambitions of becoming president—to fulfill the dream shared by so many young Americans—so that I might leave my mark on history, bring peace where there was war, free the unjustly imprisoned, outmaneuver the leaders of other great nations, bask in the admiration and affection of my fellow citizens, and have my pick of college and university commencement venues.
But then came a moment of profound disillusionment, a day of reckoning that changed the course of my life. It was sometime in the spring of 1975, late at night, and I was seated in the basement lounge of Carman Hall, studying for my second round of final exams as a Columbia College freshman. I was wrestling with a book—The Marx–Engels Reader, edited by Robert C. Tucker—but to be more precise I was wrestling with a particular text within the anthology: Part I of The German Ideology, which Karl Marx apparently wrote alone, without the help of his collaborator Friedrich Engels.
At eighteen years of age, with the Cold War still very much in play, I was certainly aware of Marx's significance in history and contemporary politics. I also knew from Joseph Rothschild, my wonderful, cheerfully intimidating Contemporary Civilization professor from the previous semester, that I had better pay close attention to texts written by Germans. Rothschild was a Jewish refugee from Hitler's Germany, and he understood quite viscerally the power of words written in German, even German translated into English. So I was trying, really trying to understand, but The German Ideology, Part I, was more than I had bargained for. For those of you who have read it, I don't have to explain that this wasn't one of Marx's greatest hits. All those references to Young Hegelians, Old Hegelians (there didn't seem to be any middle-aged Hegelians)—I had to keep referring back to Tucker's introduction to reassure myself that this really was the best way to understand the development of Marx's " materialist conception of history." Not even published until 1932, this text, Tucker explained, was, and I quote, "particularly valuable and important to the student of Marxist thought because Marx never again set down a comprehensive statement of his theory of history at such length and in such detail." Be that as it may, there was no relief from Marx's bulky prose: I had to face his text alone, if not exactly man to man, then callow man to great man. And I found myself wanting.
True, I'd been an outstanding president of my high school government. But now I had to ask myself: Wouldn't a future president of the United States—one aspiring to be as well-read, say, as the very well-read Dwight Eisenhower—be able to absorb, synthesize, explicate, and even refute The German Ideology, Part I, no matter how difficult or elliptical the language? Yet what was I to make of this paragraph, for example?
The first premise of all human history is, of course, the existence of living human individuals. Thus the first fact to be established is the physical organization of these individuals and their consequent relation to the rest of nature. Of course, we cannot here go either into the actual physical nature of man, or into the natural conditions in which man finds himself—geological, orohydrographical, climate and so on. The writing of history must always set out from these natural bases and their modification in the course of history through the action of men.
Well, of course!
This was the beginning of my disillusionment—the beginning of the end of my fantasies about holding great office, indeed of achieving greatness in any realm. With my intellectual vanity nearly crushed by this passage, I did what seemed to me the most logical thing to restore some sense of self worth. I went to the dictionary and I looked up orohydrographical. And then I went back to the text—as I know all of you would do—and reread the whole damn thing.
I wouldn't want you to think that this raw encounter with Marx was negative. On the contrary, disillusionment—the discarding of illusions—is essential to any good education. I looked at my underlining the other day and it confirms that I did get something out of the text. And I will tell you that Columbia, my engagement with The German Ideology, Part I, Professor Rothschild, and his CC successor, Professor Robert Lamb, set me on a course that altered my life forever and for the better.
But back then, on that spring night in 1975, weighed down by turgid text, what I really needed was a beer. Fortunately, things weren't all deadly, world-historically serious in 1975, just as they aren't in 2012. And fortunately, for every encounter with Marx there were many more with better stylists and teachers who had more humanistic sensibilities. Once I'd finished struggling with The German Ideology, Part I, it's likely I walked over to a crowded and noisy bar, known as CDR, located in a basement on 119th between Amsterdam and Morningside, to take the edge off my German/Marxist gloom. Inside, I was likely to run into another German, much livelier than Marx, Professor Karl-Ludwig Selig, Columbia's resident expert on Cervantes and, as he insisted on pronouncing it, Don Kwiksot. Professor Selig often held court at CDR over multiple pitchers of Schaefer or Rheingold, and if you listened carefully to him above the din you could learn a lot. By now I knew I was supposed to engage deeply with the texts that Columbia was requiring me to read, but Selig made it sound enjoyable. He wanted you to embrace the text, to read it with rigor, but also with pleasure. However, like all of my best professors, Selig insisted that reading text was a fundamentally serious endeavor, that text must be respected. I'll never forget his remark about the Spectator's April Fools' issues, one of which my managing board sneakily published on March 31, 1977. The headline on our lead story was "Kissinger Named Food Services Chief; Pledges Sweeping Reforms of Cafeterias." Some of us worried that the joke was too heavy-handed—Henry Kissinger was just then the subject of a violent debate about whether he was morally or academically fit to teach at Columbia, and Food Services was embroiled in scandal—but Selig later told our managing editor, Dan Janison, that an alarming number of his colleagues had in fact been fooled. (I wish I could do his German accent but I can't.) "So many of our faculty are such poor readers of text," he lamented.
I would not, I vowed, be such a poor reader of text. Nor would I be a humorless or unemotional one. Happily, Marx's materialist view of history did not kill my interest in history itself or its literary and romantic possibilities. Among my compensations was a mesmerizing history of the lead-up to the Civil War and of the war itself, written by Allan Nevins. Thanks to James Shenton, who had been Nevins's student at Columbia and subsequently was my professor and mentor, the ordeal of Marx's prose was more than mitigated by these passages from volume two of Ordeal of the Union, Nevins's eight-volume masterwork. Here's Nevins describing Stephen Douglas, a man who badly wanted to be president, and his reaction to the abolitionist Salmon Chase during the Senate debate in 1854 over the Kansas–Nebraska act:
Chase's attack … seemed to him a dastardly blow because it accused him of selling his honor for the hope of the presidency, because it stigmatized him as a cheat and liar.… Quivering with rage, he rose in the Senate on January 30th to open the formal debate.… Day after day Douglas was in his seat when the session began, and still there when it ended. Week in and week out, his quick, piercing eyes watched every move with tigerish intentness. When a stroke was needed, he was on his feet, tossing his mass of dark hair like a lion's mane and scowling at his enemies.
Two years later, with violence breaking out in Kansas, Lincoln's great rival is forced to defend the tinderbox he helped create in the name of saving the union. He's still trying to have it both ways, popular sovereignty, yes, but at the cost of preserving slavery. Here Nevins attains a brilliant level of insight about Douglas: "Alert in retort, crafty in the manipulation of argument, redoubtable and unscrupulous in attack, he seemed momentarily to sweep all opposition before him; yet he never quite convinced wary men, for his ideas lacked deep sincerity, and his manners had always the touch of the barroom.… He seemed dazzling—until men could think over his arguments."
As my late friend, Walter Karp, valedictorian of the Columbia College class of 1955, would have said of Nevins: "No Dead Sentences! Not One Dead Sentence!" Reading Nevins's book in the College Library one night, I wondered: Could I ever hope to write this well, to know so much and think so clearly? Almost certainly not, but at least I was beginning to know my limits and something about my ambition to expand my limits. Gazing upward at the great Allan Nevins on the shelves of Butler, the scales began falling from my eyes, which is a very important feature of disillusionment. I was beginning to learn how to read.
Which brings me to the point I want to make to you, the class of 2012. I didn't tell these stories to try to make you nostalgic for a golden age before text became a verb, or to comfort myself in middle age. As historian Andrew Bacevich writes in the current Harper's Magazine, with reference to Robert Kagan's new book, all so-called golden ages should be viewed with the greatest skepticism. Kagan's book argues that postwar American power has engendered a "golden age for humanity" and that the United States is not in decline. Bacevich believes this is a "fairy tale," as much a fairy tale as so-called American exceptionalism.
However, I do believe there is something exceptional about Columbia College and I hope it's something you'll hang on to after I'm finished talking.
Besides being publisher of Harper's Magazine and writing books, I occasionally review them, including the most complete biography to date of yesterday's Barnard commencement speaker. To help illustrate my point, let's do a close reading of one passage from this book [The Bridge] by New Yorker editor David Remnick. We learn that in his senior year at Columbia, Barack Obama took a modern fiction course with Edward Said, who until his death in 2003 was University Professor of English and Comparative Literature. My reading of this text leads me to believe that Remnick's account of Barack Obama's life was authorized by its subject—that most of what's in it is there because the president wanted it there. Remnick offers this description of Said and of Obama's feelings about his English professor: "Best known for his advocacy of the Palestinian cause, and his academic excoriation of the Eurocentric 'Orientalism' practiced by Western authors and scholars, Said had done important work in literary criticism and theory. And yet, Said's theoretical approach in the course left Obama cold." Remnick then quotes a friend of Obama's who also took the course: "My whole thing, and Barack had a similar view, was that we would rather read Shakespeare's plays than the criticism. Said was more interested in the literary theory, which didn't appeal to Barack or me." According to Remnick, the young Obama referred to Said as a "flake."
Although I agree that it's usually better to read the original than a criticism of the original, this is a misreading of Said. Edward Said was many things: a lover of literature, a fearsome and inspiring teacher, a politically engaged public intellectual, a humanist, but most pertinent to this speech, an extraordinarily rigorous reader and teacher of text. On at least one occasion he threw a student out of class for not knowing the definition of a word, and he never went into class less than completely prepared. The last extended conversation I had with him was in his apartment on Riverside Drive: we talked not about Middle Eastern politics, but about Stendahl's Charterhouse of Parma and its wily and seductive female protagonist, Gina Sanseverina. "Ah, Gina," he said with appreciation and feeling, as if he had known her personally.
Although a great many people disliked him for reading too carefully and talking too loudly, to dismiss Said as an eccentric critic mostly interested in theory—more interested in criticizing a text than reading and enjoying a story—is to miss the mark, perhaps for political reasons (if indeed this passage is accurate).
But please stay with me and the closed-captioned text just a little longer. As Said wrote in Orientalism: "No one has ever devised a method for detaching the scholar from the circumstances of life, from the fact of his involvement (conscious or unconscious) with a class, a set of beliefs, a social position, or from the mere activity of being a member of society." This is what we call context, which is essential to understanding text.
You may know that Said's three most influential books are Orientalism, Covering Islam, and Culture and Imperialism, all of which deal with Western stereotypes and caricatures of the Orient and of Islam, of Arabs and Persians. As a Protestant-baptized and -educated Palestinian Arab-American who attended British colonial and then American schools, Said was himself decontextualized as an Arab—permanently Out of Place, as he titled his autobiography.
Said's sense of deracination—of never quite knowing where he came from—is something Barack Obama should know all about. Of course, the president doesn't have to admit an emotional affinity, which I understand could be politically dangerous. He's already been forced by too many idiots to waste too much time proving he was born in the United States.
But is it too much to ask of anyone concerned with our Middle Eastern policy to read Said's trilogy—that is, before they encourage a military attack on Iran by proxies—be they French, Israeli, British, or Saudi Arabian? Wouldn't it be truly audacious if Barack Obama, class of 1983, had done a close enough reading of the three Orientalism texts—with their subtext of humiliation endured by colonized peoples—to cite them as a reason for his praiseworthy reluctance to move from sanctions to violence? That before he wasted one more life, one more dollar in Islamic Afghanistan, Obama showed some interest in his old professor instead of reading the dubious Robert Kagan? And furthermore, that the president of the United States consider following the fine example of the president of Columbia University and be willing to meet with Iran's, shall we say, flaky, President Ahmahdinejad? After all, Obama has already visited another religiously intolerant abettor or terrorists and officially anti-Israel head of state, King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia.
But here's the good and useful thing about reading text in a serious way, considering it both at face value and in context: I suspect that President Obama has read the Orientalism trilogy, but just doesn't want to advertise it. And my own reporting, my own reading, my own analysis, suggests that he did not, in fact, consider Edward Said a flake—because the grown-up Obama is a serious, intelligent person who attended Columbia College, where he learned how to read past the obvious and the superficial.
My hope is that none of you seniors would shrink from such a reading assignment, or from such a political risk, because of your exceptional Columbia College education—your training in directly engaging the author and never hiding behind someone else's interpretation of the text or of the writer's reputation. My advice to all of you today, poet or scientist, is to absorb, to question, to challenge, to refute any author on any subject. Or, for that matter, any politician or commencement speaker.
You may disagree with me that your sovereignty as citizens has been largely stolen by the political and financial oligarchy that I believe rules this country. You may disagree that your Constitution, literally and in spirit, has been gravely violated by the previous and current administrations. That the so-called suspension clause of our founding text, concerning habeas corpus, has been abused, twisted, and stretched.
But I trust that as Columbia intellectuals—mercifully free of received wisdom, resistant to cant, confident in your own skill as readers—you'll all agree with Edward Said's summary of your responsibilities and your rights: "The role of the intellectual is to ask questions, to disturb people, to stir up reflection, to provoke controversy and thought.… The role of the intellectual is never to justify power, to always be critical of power, whether it is the power of the weak or the power of the strong … the role of the intellectual is to challenge power by providing alternative models and, also as important, resources of hope." I would only add that the role of an intellectual is to be prepared to tackle any text.
Thank you and congratulations. I'm deeply honored to be your speaker, so much so that I will join you all here tomorrow morning for President Bollinger's commencement address.
More from John R. MacArthur:
Publisher's Note — May 4, 2016, 12:33 pm
Journalists are doing the Clintons' dirty work for them and their machine.
Publisher's Note — April 8, 2016, 2:07 pm
"Both Sanders and Trump affirm their determination to rebuild an America weakened by unhealthy relationships with the outside world."
Publisher's Note — March 8, 2016, 4:55 pm
"After only three primaries—almost a tie in Iowa, an emphatic victory for Sanders in New Hampshire, and 52.6 percent for Hillary in Nevada—Mrs. Clinton found herself being guaranteed the nomination by the newspaper of record."
The new docudrama The People v. O. J. Simpson: American Crime Story (FX) isn't really about Orenthal James Simpson. It's about the trials that ran alongside his — those informal, unboundaried, court-of-public-opinion trials in which evidence was heard for and against the murder victims, the defense and the prosecution, the judge, the jury, and the Los Angeles Police Department, to say nothing of white and black America. History has freed us from suspense about Simpson's verdict, so that the man himself (played here by Cuba Gooding Jr.) is less the tragic hero he seemed in the mid-Nineties than a curiously minor character. He comes to the center of our attention only once, in Episode 2, at the end of the lengthy Ford Bronco chase scene — which in real life was followed by a surreal cavalcade of police cars and media helicopters, as well as an estimated 95 million live viewers — when Simpson repeatedly, and with apparent sincerity, apologizes for taking up so much of so many people's time. It is an uncannily ordinary moment of social decorum, a sort of could-you-please-pass-the-salt gesture on a sinking Titanic, in which Simpson briefly becomes more than just an archetype.
The new docudrama The People v. O. J. Simpson: American Crime Story (FX) isn't really about Orenthal James Simpson. It's about the trials that ran alongside his — those informal, unboundaried, court-of-public-opinion trials in which evidence was heard for and against the murder victims, the defense and the prosecution, the judge, the jury, and the Los Angeles Police Department, to say nothing of white and black America. History has freed us from suspense about Simpson's verdict, so that the man himself (played here by Cuba Gooding Jr.) is less the tragic hero he seemed in the mid-Nineties than a curiously minor character. He comes to the center of our attention only once, in Episode 2, at the end of the lengthy Ford Bronco chase scene — which in real life was followed by a surreal cavalcade of police cars and media helicopters, as well as an estimated 95 million live viewers — when Simpson repeatedly, and with apparent sincerity, apologizes for taking up so much of so many people's time. It is an uncannily ordinary moment of social decorum, a sort of could-you-please-pass-the-salt gesture on a sinking Titanic, in which Simpson briefly becomes more than just an archetype.
Amount an auditor estimated last year that Oregon could save each year by feeding prisoners less food:
Oregon Dept. of Corrections (Salem)
Kentucky is the saddest state.
An Italian economist was questioned on suspicion of terrorism after a fellow passenger on an American Airlines flight witnessed him writing differential equations on a pad of paper.
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"Matt was happy enough to sustain himself on the detritus of a world he saw as careening toward self-destruction, and equally happy to scam a government he despised. 'I'm glad everyone's so wasteful,' he told me. 'It supports my lifestyle.'"


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sorry but..
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Some are cops (book 'em, Danno!), some have shades of gray (hello, Nikita!) -- mess with any of 'em at your own risk this fall!
Slide 1 of 15
Jim Shannon (Jason O'Mara), Terra Nova
If he's willing to uproot his family from their life in dystopian Chicago circa 2149 and head back to prehistoric Earth as part of a plan to save the human race, then you know he's ready to take on whatever comes their way.
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Girl struck near 198 heads to PA hospital
BUFFALO, N.Y. (WIVB)- The girl who survived being struck in Delaware Park is strong enough to be transferred to another hospital. The presid…
BUFFALO, N.Y. (WIVB)- The girl who survived being struck in Delaware Park is strong enough to be transferred to another hospital. The presid…
At a community meeting on Monday, enthusiasts say skateboarding is growing, and now Western New York is making sure kids are doing it safely…
Business owners on Buffalo's West Side say prostitution has been a problem for years. Monday people took matters into their own hands by put…
When New York State Troopers began interviewing Eric H. James Jr., 19, and Orlando M. McClain, 17, they say the men weren't forthcoming.
A disabled Gulf War veteran from Hamburg, New York is finally seeing progress after two years of battling with the Veteran's Administration.
Officials say guard rails which are up now on parts of the roadway will continue to expand, and soon enough the speed limit will be enforced…
Monday marked a three-day weekend for Candace and Jeremy Sadowski. But the couple was far from relaxed.
Katy Harris said she planned to get married last December on Swift's birthday, but those plans fell through.
Officials say when he appeared in court Monday, Michael Kabiona, 45, was sentenced to 12 years in a state penitentiary.
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The announcement that Rachel Dolezal was stepping down was posted Monday on the civil rights group's Facebook page.
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Home > News > World
Friday, 18 April 2014 | MYT 7:20 AM
TOKYO (Reuters) - An earthquake with preliminary magnitude of 4.7 shook eastern Japan, including the capital Tokyo, on Friday morning, but there was no threat of a tsunami and no immediate reports of damage, public broadcaster NHK reported.
The earthquake was centred northeast of Tokyo.
(Reporting by Dominic Lau; Editing by Michael Perry)
Arms embargo on Vietnam in the balance as Obama visits old foe
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Rome prosecutors suspect mafia of rigging exam for prison guard jobs
Greece starts clearing makeshift migrant camp on border
For a hopping great time where else but Kangaroo Island!
Astoria strikes a balance
Septuagenarian dreams of Tokyo after Rio blow
Raising funds for stroke association
More challenges than cheer for Apple chief on Asia tour
Copyright © 1995- Star Media Group Berhad (ROC 10894D)(Formerly known as Star Publications (Malaysia) Berhad)


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In her promising debut novel, Baart writes compellingly about a young girl's struggle with loss, love, identity and faith. Julia Bakker knows what loss is. Her mother abandoned her, her beloved father died, and her childhood love has gone to college and found another. As a teen, she lives with her saintly grandmother, who urges her to go to church camp, but Julia finds only "quick answers and thrilling conversions" there. Disillusioned, Julia decides it is up to her, not anyone else-"even some impossible, far-flung God"-to reinvent herself. "The truth was, I didn't know who I was, and I was afraid of being defined by who I wasn't. By what I didn't have.... By remembering with predictable, cyclic accuracy all I had lost." After chronicling her early years, the story follows Julia as she enrolls in college to study engineering and become someone who is "too smart to attach, too independent to want to, and so secure as to be untouchable." Soon, Julia is repeating her mother's mistakes. The love of her rock-solid Christian grandmother and a newfound (and not completely well-explained) reliance on God help fortify her for the difficult path ahead. Sparkling prose makes this new novel a welcome addition to inspirational fiction. (Oct.)Copyright 2007 Reed Business Information
After the Leaves Fallby Nicole Baart
View All Available Formats & Editions
On the cusp of womanhood, Julia feels jaded by her circumstances and longs for a new identity. College seems like the
- LendMe LendMe™ Learn More
Julia DeSmit can't wait for her life to begin. After her mother leaves when Julia is nine years old, she's raised by an unassuming, gentle father and a saintly, matriarchal grandmother until her father dies just as Julia is becoming a young adult.
On the cusp of womanhood, Julia feels jaded by her circumstances and longs for a new identity. College seems like the perfect place to start over. But when Julia makes a mistake that will change her life forever, she returns to her grandmother's farm, defeated and convinced of her own worthlessness. Only through the gentle prodding of her loving grandmother does Julia begin to accept the imprint her childhood has left on her life and look for hope in a loving God who longs to make all things new.
Editorial Reviews
Julia DeSmit's mother left when she was a child, and then her father died when she was a young adult. It's about time something good happened to her, so she decides to reinvent her empty life when she receives a college scholarship. Her new world, however, is not exactly what she had planned. First novelist Baart lives in Iowa.
Tamara Butler
Product Details
- 9781414328423
- Publisher:
- Tyndale House Publishers
- Publication date:
- 01/31/2011
- Sold by:
- Barnes & Noble
- Format:
- NOOK Book
- Sales rank:
- 284,116
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Read an Excerpt
after the Leaves fall
By nicole baart
Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.Copyright © 2007 Nicole Baart
All right reserved.
Chapter Onewaiting
Waiting is a complicated longing.
I lost my father when I was fifteen, and I've been waiting ever since.
He was buried on a rainy day in October, and I remember the sound of the raindrops on the lid of the sleek black casket and how it seemed like music to me. The pastor was doing his best to make sorrowful an occasion that seemed anything but-the leaves on the trees above us were burnt amber, the consoling sky around us was velvety gray, and the rain was singing softly. I didn't feel sad. I felt expectant.
My father had been in pain. There was so much pain. It had seeped out of his limbs and crept hauntingly into my blood and bones. My grandmother and I carried pain from his bed every time we walked away from a failed attempt at getting him to eat. We steeled ourselves against the ache that slowly invaded when we sat by his side and held his cool hand, his fingers dry and fragile in ours as if this small part of him were already gone. Even walking the few steps past the living room, where he lay entombed in an impossibly narrow hospital bed, to the dining room, which was the only way into the kitchen, was a staggeringexperience. I'd pause imperceptibly in the hallway, gather myself, and walk with purpose and more than adequate speed until I was wrapped in the warmth of the kitchen, where the oven was baking something that he would never eat.
Sometimes he cried, but the tears just gathered in the corners of his eyes and pooled there like so much dark water lost among the black-brown of his gaze. I wasn't always sure if he was even aware of his crying, but those tears called out of their own accord, and the reverberation would echo through the house until it drowned out all else. I felt I would go deaf from it. Stop. Oh, please, God, make it stop.
When it stopped it was as if the world was filled with air again. I breathed again. Great gasping lungfuls of air that left me dizzy and panting. And weeping. The night after Dad died, Grandma found me in the grove behind the old chicken coop, gulping that glorious, rich air and sobbing without making the tiniest sound. She knelt beside me in her housecoat, letting the damp grass soak her arthritic knees, and pounded me on the back until all that good air took and waiting my tears could be heard as well as seen. I'm dying too, I thought when I heard the keen that could only be coming from my own mouth. What but death could possibly feel like this?
But I wasn't even close to dying. Fresh air was new life that filled my veins. Grief was so quickly and yet so incompletely replaced by something that felt like relief that I careened from guilt to repose and never became fully settled with anything I felt.
After he was gone, I would find myself in the darkness of the living room in the middle of the night, standing where his bed had filled the space in front of the picture window. The October sky would be cold and clear, and from the farmhouse window the stars would shimmer like something otherworldly. Thank You, God, for taking him. I would breathe the half prayer over and over, and for those minutes in the newly quiet house, I would feel something close to peace. Then the very next morning the lack of his presence across the table would choke me until my tongue was thick and threatening in my mouth, and I promised God my soul if only I could have one more day with Dad.
It was in this new living that waiting became so complicated.
I began to exist in a tension between wanting and not wanting-waiting for something I couldn't even pin down in my most naked and honest moments. Waiting for a balance where I neither ached nor forgot, regretted nor accepted. Waiting for my heart to be light again yet fearing the implications of that same lightness. I suppose I waited for peace-an end to my own personal warfare.
The imbalance struck me for the first time immediately after I threw a fistful of sodden dirt on the box in the ground that contained his body. I was torn between laughter and tears. Feeling that something big and incomprehensible had just happened, Grandma and I stood hand in hand until the graveyard was empty and the rain had all but ceased to fall. Her lips moved faintly, and I knew she was whispering prayers for me. I couldn't join her-I had forgotten how; the ability to pray had slipped out of my soul like the dirt had tumbled from my fingers. I wasn't angry at God or anything-that would have been far too clichéd. He just seemed irrelevant.
When Grandma spoke, it was unexpected. "You know what my favorite time of year is?"
I blinked for the first time in minutes and looked up at her. "Huh?"
She continued without looking down at me. "I love it best when the leaves fall."
I didn't know what to say.
"Lots of people like autumn because the leaves turn such pretty colors." Grandma smiled at this as if she had a secret, something sweet and unforeseen that she was going to share with me. I watched the familiar, wrinkled profile soften. "I like it when all those leaves fall because it's such a small thing that means so very much." Pulling her hand out of mine, she turned to me and tilted my face toward her own. "Do you know what I mean?"
I didn't.
She searched my face. "There's this subtle sadness-winter is coming, and it's going to be hard and cold. And there's a feeling of good-bye. But there's also ..." She searched for the right word. "Suspense? Maybe hope? Because it's not over; everything is just waiting for spring. Do you know what I mean?"
Grandma sounded expectant, and I smiled at her because I loved her better than anyone else in the world now that Dad was gone. "I think so," I said quietly.
"You can see more clearly when it's all stripped bare. You can see that everything gets to be new." Grandma smiled at me with every hope for our future shining in her eyes. "That's the good part."
A gust of wind from the southwest shot through the trees and showered us with cold water and soggy leaves that were anything but hopeful.
I've been waiting a long time for the good part.
Excerpted from after the Leaves fall by nicole baart Copyright © 2007 by Nicole Baart. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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The Paizo staff are at PaizoCon 2016 from May 27 through May 30!
We will return to the office on Tuesday, May 31.
The Year of the Risen Rune Launches at Gen ConThe Year of the Risen Rune Launches at Gen Con Monday, July 30, 2012 ... Illustrations by Miguel Harkness and Jason RainvilleAs players and GMs familiar with the Pathfinder Society Organized Play program surely know after four full seasons of adventure, each year a new season of the campaign launches at Gen Con, and this year is no different. Over the last few seasons, we've worked to increase the amount of continuity within the campaign such that each season has a clear theme and plot arc,...
Tags: Gen Con Goblins Jason Rainville Miguel Harkness Ogres Pathfinder Society
Beginner Box Sneak PreviewBeginner Box Sneak Preview Tuesday, September 6, 2011 Learning to play the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game is about to get easier than ever before, as in just a few short weeks the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game: Beginner Box hits the shelves of a game store near you! With the imminent release of this mighty boxed set—filled to bursting with easy-to-master rules, multiple adventures, creature tokens, dice, a Flip-Mat play surface, pregenerated character sheets, tons of tools to start building...
Tags: Clerics Iconics Kyra Monsters Ogres Orcs Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Undead
Sneak Peek: Classic Monsters Revisited... Sneak Peek: Classic Monsters Revisited Friday, March 14, 2008Get a quick glimpse of Paizo's reimagining of some of your favorite monsters featured in Classic Monsters Revisited. Goblins and trolls and ogres, oh my! ... Carolyn Mull ... Pazio Sales & Marketing Assistant ...
Tags: Goblins Monsters Ogres Wallpapers
Throwing Shield is Broken and needs a Rewrite!,
Do hire a slave considered evil act ?,
I would love to have another flag option!,
Deep 6 FaWtL,
Additional Resources Updates,
The Monkey's Treefort,
Tavern Tales—Mini Adventure #3: It Starts With a Brawl (PFRPG) PDF,
Blazing 9! (season 10 prep),
Balancing Idea for caster vs martial,
Paizo Blog: A Wild PaizoCon Appears!,
[PFS CORE]7-14 Faithless and Forgotten: Let Bygones Be - HIGH subtier,
Classic PFS The Stolen Heir,
Into the Stolen Lands,
GM Evil's First Steps Part 1: In Service to Lore,
Thirst - A Ravenloft PbP,
[PFS CORE] 7-14 Faithless and Forgotten Part 1: Let Bygones Be Discussion,
DM Papa.DRB - Moru Country,
GM Advocate's Hell's Vengeance,
Magical Child Academy: House of Unyielding Radiance - Episode 1: New Students Orientation Field Trip!,
GM Baveyo - Among the Living PbP,
Ancient Lands, Eldritch Secrets, and Vast Riches Await in Pathfinder Adventure Card Game: Mummy's Mask,
Gen Con Partners with Paizo on Three-Year Co-Sponsorship,
Geek & Sundry teams up with Pathfinder & Syrinscape to bring you Critical Role One Shot!,
Trapdoor Technologies Announces License to Create Playbook App for Pathfinder Roleplaying Game,
Pathfinder RPG Charity Marathon Raises $250,000 for Charities, and Becomes Record-Breaking Humble Book Bundle,


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Posted by Michael Avery
25. Oct, 2012
After being released from prison eight years ago Danny P. Jones had a choice: pick up rubbish or join a theatre group for past inmates. He chose the latter.
The group was called Plan B Theatre Company. At the time filmmaker Amiel Courtin-Wilson was documenting the group and was struck by the the presence of the freshly released prisoner, sparking a long term collaboration between the two.
HAIL, a blend between fiction and doco is a brutal story. After leaving prison Danny is reunited with long term partner Leanne. Struggling with the life of a former criminal, Danny finds himself slipping back into the world of crime. When Leanne, Danny's last anchor of stability, is unforgivably taken away, he has nothing to live for except revenge.
A cast of untrained actors means HAIL boils with a savagely authentic air – Danny P Jones and Leanne Letch do a better, more brutal job playing themselves than any actor could.
With a strictly limited season, check it out while you can. Below is an interview we recently did with director Amiel Courtin-Wilson.
HAIL is showing at Cinema Nova from Oct 25 www.hailmovie.com.
Art & Design
Henry Talbot: 1960s fashion at the NGV
If your eye tends to be drawn to the finer things in life, then you'll be captivated by Henry Talbot's 1960s fashion photography exhibition at the National Gallery of Victoria.
Melbourne Art Book Fair 2016
Writers, publishers and book lovers alike flooded the walls of the National Gallery of Victoria over the weekend for the Melbourne Art Book Fair.
Andy Matthews and Matt Stewart – Logistical Nightmare
Milk Bar Mag chatted to comedy duo Andy Matthews and Matt Stewart about Logistical Nightmare, their show at the Melbourne Comedy Festival and the other happenings in their lives.
What's On
Jude Perl Launches Modern Times
Singer, songwriter and comedic genius Jude Perl will launch her debut album Modern Times at The Toff in Town.
JackJackJack At The St Kilda Festival
Milk Bar Mag got to speak with JackJackJack's singer Maggie Baines about their upcoming show at the St Kilda Festival.
Zac Goldberg Set To Play At The St Kilda Festival
Milk Bar Mag got to speak to local muso Zac Goldberg on his music, what inspires him and his gig at the St Kilda Festival.


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Graduate programs in foreign languages need to stop letting their grad students go on the job market without sufficient fluency, writes Stephen Brockmann.
Higher Education Career Advice
Career Advice
None of our concerns about student readiness for college are ever going to be resolved if we don't help students learn how to stop fearing questions, themselves and others, writes Laurence Musgrove.
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January 23, 2012
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The biggest and best of the institutions will go global, while others will need to narrow their focus -- and those paths will require different sorts of leaders, Emily Miller and Richard Skinner argue.
January 18, 2012
Cheryl Reed and Dawn M. Formo offer advice on how to prepare for Skype and telephone interviews.
January 16, 2012
Gerald Klickstein offers advice for artists seeking faculty positions.
January 13, 2012
Don't let the tight job market scare you from making sure your professional quirks can fit into departments to which you are applying, writes Nate Kreuter.
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text: By Ed Sherman • May 17, 2016The Undefeated also could be called The Unconventional. At least, that's the plan laid out by Editor-in-Chief Kevin Merida. During many interviews, including one with Poynter, Merida repeatedly articulated The Undefeated's motto: "Not conventional. Never boring." The Undefeated, which has been in the works since 2013, finally made its long-awaited debut Tuesday. The new ESPN site, aimed at finding … Read More


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"I try to show due respect to all people. Due being the key word. Usually, I can find something I respect about another person, no matter how bad or foolish the behaviors they are known for. You can't expect a bird to swim or a fish to fly.…"
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GIF: A side-on angle of Aaron Ramsey's important second in Istanbul
- August 21, 2013
- Comments0
Grab more information on: Aaron RamseyArsenalGIF
Watch Live Stream
Latest on Aaron Ramsey
- Arsenal officially reveal new shirt numbers for Granit Xhaka & Aaron Ramsey (Videos)May 27th, 2016
- Aaron Ramsey gives monotone interview post-Arsenal 2 – West Brom 0 (Video)April 21st, 2016
- Arsenal midfielder Aaron Ramsey picks an incredible dream XI (Video)April 7th, 2016
- Rumours: Comeback updates for Arsenal's Jack Wilshere & Aaron RamseyMarch 28th, 2016
Latest on Arsenal
- Ex Arsenal man Andrey Arshavin assists unreal backheel golazo from outside the box (Video)May 30th, 2016
- Arsenal's Hector Bellerin reveals he could be in Spain Euros squad after Carvajal's i...May 29th, 2016
- Pots revealed for next season's CL group stage draw ft. Arsenal & Spurs in lower potsMay 29th, 2016
- N'Golo Kante happy at Leicester 'for now', Arsenal continue to be linked [LR...May 28th, 2016
Latest on GIF
- Nabil Bahoui scored a quality long ranger for AIK v Kalmar on SaturdayJuly 13th, 2014
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- Andrea Pirlo free-kick v England HQ GIFJune 15th, 2014
- Oh Dear. Fernando Torres' worst ever miss, lobs miles over v Bolivia [GIF]May 31st, 2014


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Most Searched
Today, the world economy is more volatile than ever, endangering recent progress in developing countries.
12 Oct 2011 08:45 GMT | Business & Economy
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Politics, Dilma Rousseff, Latin America
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101 East dives headfirst into the debate over whether Australia is doing enough to protect swimmers from shark attacks.
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Synagogues Vandalism
A Bergen County Sheriff's investigator stands on a lift as markers sit on the roof of Congregation Beth El as authorities investigate an early morning fire, Wednesday, Jan. 11, 2012, in Rutherford, N.J. The fire occurred one day before law enforcement and representatives from more than 80 synagogues and Jewish day schools were scheduled to discuss three recent incidents in the county. (AP Photo/Julio Cortez)
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Please remember to follow the manual of style and code of conduct at all times.
Check BNN and Bulbanews for up-to-date Pokémon news and discuss it on the forums or in our IRC channel #bulbagarden on irc.systemnet.info.
Check BNN and Bulbanews for up-to-date Pokémon news and discuss it on the forums or in our IRC channel #bulbagarden on irc.systemnet.info.
Furret (Aquapolis 48)
From Bulbapedia, the community-driven Pokémon encyclopedia.
Furret (Japanese: オオタチ Ootachi) is a Colorless-type Stage 1 Pokémon card. It is part of the Aquapolis expansion.
Card text
e-Reader data
This card's ID is D-34-#. The short strip contains Pokédex information, a brief card summary, and information on the content of the long strip.
Pokédex data
|Furret - Long Body Pokémon
|5'11" (1.8 m)
|71.6 lbs. (32.5 kg)
|Pokédex entry
|It lives in narrow burrows that fit its slim body. The deeper the nests go, the more maze-like they become.
|からだに あわせて つくられた ほそながい すあなは おくにいくほど ふくざつな めいろに なっている。
The long strip contains data for the Harvest Time mini-game. Four other cards from the Aquapolis expansion are also required to play it.
This card's e-Reader Pokédex entry comes from Pokémon Crystal.
|This article is part of Project TCG, a Bulbapedia project that aims to report on every aspect of the Pokémon Trading Card Game.
Latest Pokemon News
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- Video Game National Championships announced for HK and Taiwan: Shiny Mewtwo to be distributed ...


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Take 5: Tech Weekly Update – 27 May 2016
This Week's Take 5 Takeaway:
Periscope broadcasts are now permanently saved by default
Earlier this month, Twitter's live-streaming app Periscope began testing saving broadcasts for more than 24 hours. During that beta phase, you had to include #save to trigger the feature. Permanent saves are now available for everyone by default, and you won't need to use that hashtag to make it work.
Coming soon: express even more in 140 characters | Twitter Blogs
Over the past decade, the Tweet has evolved from a simple 140-character text message to a rich canvas for creative expression featuring photos, videos, hashtags, Vines, and more. In just the past few months we added the ability to poll your community, react quickly and cleverly with GIFs, and share and enjoy Periscope broadcasts in Tweets.
Facebook begins tracking non-users around the internet
Facebook will now display ads to web users who are not members of its social network, the company announced Thursday, in a bid to significantly expand its online ad network. As The Wall Street Journal reports, Facebook will use cookies, "like" buttons, and other plug-ins embedded on third-party sites to track members and non-members alike.
Flipboard's Windows 10 app gets Google Plus support
Flipboard just updated its Windows 10 app with the option to sign in with a Google Plus account. Support for Google's social media site will allow users with profiles on this network to quickly log in to Flipboard simply by entering their Google Plus login credentials.
Microsoft will no longer let you use '12345' as your password
The golden age of passwords is coming to a close. The change started when websites started rating passwords as we were creating them, trying to get us to add some capital letters and symbols to boost their status from weak to strong.
Other stuff I wrote:
Join the May 2016 Genealogy Blog Party!
Remember that time you thought John Smith was born in 1749, but his mom died in 1742? Oops. Join this month's Genealogy Blog Party and party and 'fess up to your duh moments. No one will judge you at this party!read more
Take 5: Tech Weekly Update – 13 May 2016
In this week's #Take5Tech: Wordpress scores .blog domain, Amazon takes on YouTube, YouTube adds in-app messaging, and more!read more
Have You Ever Had a Genealogy "Duh Moment?"
I found the clue 8 years ago. But I didn't know what to do with it.read more
NGS Introduces Two New Research in the States Books: Florida and Texas
Does your research take you to Florida and/or Texas? If so, check out these two, new books from the National Genealogical Society's (NGS) Research in the States series: Florida and Texas.read more
10 Things I Liked Enough to Share With You: 9 May 2016
In this week's #10Things: 3 foundlings reunited, hidden messages in colonial handwriting, Canadian census nerds, Leonardo da Vinci's face, and more!read more
Take 5: Tech – 5 May 2016
In this week's #Take5Tech: time's almost up for a free Win10 upgrade, Periscope #saves, the App Store's search is broken, and more!read more
The Paradox of Samuel Marion Dunn
If I had the chance to go back in time to see my 2x great-grandfather, what would I ask him? And where would I find him, exactly?read more
Last Call for the April Genealogy Blog Party
There's still time to join the April Genealogy Blog Party! But unless you really do have a time machine, today is the last day!read more
Evidentia Crazy-Super Sale for NGS!
You won't want to miss this amazing sale on all Evidentia products!read more
Y-DNA Evidence Used for an Approved DAR Application
The first application for DAR membership which relied, in part, on Y-DNA as evidence, has been approved. THIS genealogist is thrilled!read more
The GenBlogParty Has Started!
The first-ever #GenBlogParty has started! Get in your TARDIS and visit your ancestor – you have until April 30th to submit your entry. Find out how HERE!read more
Take 5: Tech – 14 April 2016
In this week's #Take5Tech: how to survive Instagram's new algorithm, a new Reddit app, yet ANOTHER hidden Facebook inbox, and more!read more
Here's the April 2016 Genealogy Blog Party!
Have you ever wanted to travel back in time to give an ancestor the third degree? Here's your chance, courtesy of the first ever #GenBlogParty!read more
Let's Have a Blog Party!
Where, oh where, did the blog carnivals go (spoiler: they're gone)? But fear not! Dust off your party hats and get ready to write, 'cause we're havin' a blog party!read more