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Does that sound like an outlandish statement? Well it could be, but it also might not be. Certainly at least one of those assertions are debatable - the Stormers don't have their first choice centres available for their all-important match against the Blues in Auckland on Friday, but then not many other franchises would complain about having Juan de Jongh and Johann Sadie in their midfield.
It is indeed the case that the Bulls don't boast any form to speak of away from Loftus, but then that may be just because they haven't played away or at the coast since they finally started rediscovering some confidence against the Chiefs. Saturday evening will provide us with the answer as they clash with the Sharks at Mr Price Kings Park, and it is hard to imagine a bigger litmus test for the Bulls' supposed resurgence.
It should go without saying that the challenge they face this weekend is significantly bigger than that which they faced against both the Chiefs and the Melbourne Rebels. In the latter the Australian newcomers to the tournament were simply woeful in the first half and showed no stomach for the defensive effort that was required against the Bulls.
In the second though they did show a little bit of bottle and in that 40 minute period there was nothing to separate the two sides. Yes, Frans Ludeke had taken some of his star players off and they had already started without Victor Matfield. But still, in the end it wasn't the 80 minute avalanche that had been threatened earlier in the game and which might have had the Sharks quaking in their boots.
Mind you, the Sharks weren't too flush for the first 40 minutes of the last game they played against the Brumbies, and were desperate in the 80 minutes that preceded that against the Stormers. Which really is the point of all of this - it's becoming harder by the week to make any kind of forecast of what to expect in a Super Rugby weekend with any reasonable degree of certainty.
Predicting that the Stormers will lose to the Blues and the Sharks will beat the Bulls to go top by Saturday night is a much more sane line than anything that might have been forwarded on behalf of the Lions against the Brumbies the previous weekend - and look what happened there.
What is clear-cut is that the Crusaders should be hoping for a Stormers win this time as a Blues victory will heap extra pressure on them as they head into their clash with the Chiefs in Nelson on Saturday. And don't bet too much against the Chiefs inflicting another defeat on a Crusaders team that is still weakened by injury and which had to fly back from South Africa this week.
The table topping Reds are enjoying a bye this week but "enjoying" is the operative word as it means they are assured of the four points that regardless of what happens in Auckland will keep them on top of the overall log (on points difference if the Blues pick up a full house against the Stormers).
The Sharks are hoping the Lions can do everyone a favour by knocking back the Waratahs challenge in Sydney - and stranger things than that have happened in this intriguing and unpredictable 2011 Super Rugby season. It must be stressful for the participants and the coaches, but those who are following it will be fastening their seatbelts for another highly absorbing weekend of action.
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- 2015/08/27Visiting the Gardex, Tool Japan, Agriworld EXPO 2015 in Japan on 14th~16th October.
- 2015/07/30Agritech India exhibition in Bangalore from Aug.21th to 23th


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DI Press Release on Djibouti Presidential Election
Washington, D.C. – On the eve of a presidential election in Djibouti on April 8, U.S.-based Democracy International (DI) called on the government of the Republic of Djibouti to respect the rights of its citizens to engage in peaceful assembly, exercise free speech, and to participate in a free and fair vote. DI also denounced the government's unwarranted decision to prevent the organization from continuing its observation of Djibouti's election process.
Since mid-2010, funded by the U.S. Agency for International Development, Democracy International has monitored Djibouti's 2011 electoral process. DI has deployed four pre-election missions and issued pre-election reports in November 2010 and January 2011. On March 4, just over one month before election day, the government of Djibouti falsely accused DI of partisanship and providing assistance to antigovernment protestors on February 18 and declared DI's activities illegal. Subsequently, the government ordered DI to leave the country. In compliance with the order, DI ended its mission and departed. This was not the first time DI faced significant pressure from the government; in October 2010 security personnel halted DI focus group discussions and detained DI focus group leaders.
"The decision by the government of Djibouti to expel our international observation mission is just the latest example of the government's intolerance of free expression," said DI Principal Glenn Cowan. "The citizens of Djibouti are no different than others around the world who are demanding democratic change. They resent autocratic rule and are no longer willing to remain silent."
The government of Djibouti appears increasingly unwilling to tolerate meaningful opposition and has suppressed peaceful democratic expression. On February 18, thousands of Djiboutians participated in an initially peaceful protest against the president's rule. In response, security forces ordered people to disperse, fired tear gas, and arrested scores of protestors.
"The people of Djibouti deserve a fair opportunity to participate in the political process," added Cowan. "The government should respect its citizens' rights of peaceful assembly and free speech and should meet its obligation to hold a meaningful, democratic election."
DI greatly regrets that its expulsion shortly before the April 8 election eliminated the possibility of meaningful election observation. DI did not take any actions inconsistent with its obligations as an independent, impartial international election observation mission as outlined in the Declaration of Principles for International Election Observation and Code of Conduct for International Election Observers, declared at the United Nations in 2005, and agreed to in the bilateral agreement between the governments of the U.S. and Djibouti.
Download link http://www.democracyinternational.com/documents/DI_Press_Release_on_Djibouti_Presidential_Election.pdf


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The Power of Independent Thinking
Ben Powell on the Economic Freedom of the World Report
Recorded: Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Senior Fellow Benjamin Powell appeared on the "The Roger Hedgecock Radio Show." Powell discusses the Economic Freedom of the World Report, explaining why economic freedom in the U.S. is plummeting.
Experts: Benjamin W. PowellType: RadioIssues: Economic History and Development (U.S.), Economic Policy, Free Market Economics, Freedom
What President Obama Should Learn from His Predecessors
Recorded: Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Amid the current economic and financial crises, President Obama may do well to remember the men who have come before him.
Experts: Ivan Eland, Andrew R. RuttenType: Independent Institute EventIssues: Civil Liberties/ Human Rights, Constitutional Law, Culture/ Society, Defense and Foreign Policy, Economic History and Development (U.S.), Economic Policy, Freedom, Government Power, History (U.S), Nationalism, Political Ideology and Philosophy, Politics, Race Issues, Terrorism and National Crises


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The Colorado Avalanche have acquired defenseman Ruslan Salei from the Florida Panthers.
In return, the Avs give up the rights to Karlis Skrastins and give Florida a third-round pick in this year's draft.
The deal was announced Tuesday, a day after Colorado agreed to terms on a deal that brings former MVP Peter Forsberg back to Denver for the rest of the current season.
Colorado general manager Francois Giguere called Salei "a solid and reliable asset on the blue line."
The 33-year-old has spent 11 years in the NHL, the last two with Florida after nine with the Anaheim Ducks. He has missed just four games total in the past four seasons.
Last season he had six goals and 26 assists, both career highs.
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Whether you're hoping to quit smoking, be more organized or get a new job, now is the time to outline what you'd like to achieve next year. See how your goals for the New Year compare to the most popular resolutions of 2011.
The most common objective for those hoping to make some positive changes in 2011 is to drop a few pounds, according to an online poll of over 5,000 people on 43things.com. Poll results showed that 1,057 people voted to "lose weight" as their No. 1 resolution, with "be happy" coming in second place with 684 votes.
Here's the full list:
Most Popular New Year's Resolutions of 2011
1. Lose weight (1,057 votes)
2. Be happy (684 votes)
3. Save money (636 votes)
4. Fall in love (554 votes)
5. Get a job (515 votes)
6. Read more (433 votes)
7. Eat, drink, try or learn something new (378 votes)
8. Quit Smoking (345 votes)
9. Take a photo every day for a year (266 votes)
10. Run a marathon (255 votes)
If your top resolution is lose weight — or if you'd just like to be healthier overall — check out the Diet and Nutrition section of our sister site, MyHealthNewsDaily.com.
- No. 1 Word for 2011: Twenty-Eleven
- Why Does the New Year Start On January 1st?
- Experts Reveal Keys to Keeping Your Resolutions
This article was provided by Life's Little Mysteries, a sister site to LiveScience.


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Dancing With The Stars
Who's Dancing What on DWTS Season 18, Week 8?
There doesn't seem to be an overriding theme to Dancing With the Stars Season 18, Week 8 — like Disney Night or next week's American Icons theme — but the top six couples will have two more dances on Monday, May 5, and Abby Lee Miller will be the guest judge to provide commentary and scores (and controversy).
All six pairs have now shared their dance styles, although we're still not 100 percent sure what's up with the second dance — which ABC is calling the Celebrity Dance Duel. Here's the breakdown:
Charlie White and Sharna Burgess — Quickstep, Dance Duel Contemporary with Candace & Mark
Candace Cameron Bure and Mark Ballas — Foxtrot, Dance Duel Contemporary with Charlie & Sharna
Meryl Davis and Maksim Chmerkovskiy — Rumba, Dance Duel Samba with Danica & Val
Danica McKellar and Valentin Chmerkovskiy — Tango, Dance Duel Samba with Meryl & Maks
James Maslow and Peta Murgatroyd — Viennese Waltz, Dance Duel Jive with Amy & Derek
Amy Purdy and Derek Hough — Argentine Tango, Dance Duel with Jive James & Peta
James explained a bit about the partner dance in his blog. The six couples will broken into groups of two, and James and Peta will be dancing with Amy and Derek. The four of them will dance for about 20 seconds, then the pros will leave and the celebs will dance together for 20 seconds, then they all come back together.
ABC later added, in a press release, in the Celebrity Dance Duel round, two couples will be paired up to perform a style of dance that they've both previously performed. All four members of the mini team will dance together to the same song but during the middle of the performance, the Pros will leave the floor, leaving the two celebrities to dance together.
So far, so good, but we still don't know what the other pairings will be. Maybe the Chmerkovskiys will pair up, or maybe they'll put Charlie with Meryl so the ice dancers can perform together. (UPDATE: Yep, the bros are sticking together! So Charlie and Candace will be paired in the duel.)
Which dance, or dances, are you most excited to see on Monday — provided our many injured stars are up for the challenges?
DWTS Season 18 airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.


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April 30, 2016
MCCURTAIN CO., OK-- Today, the funeral was held for the McCurtain county toddler found dead last week.
Two year old Payton Cockrell's service was held at the Haworth First Assembly of God Church.
Last Tuesday, she was found dead at a home on tribal lands near Idabel.
The FBI says they're awaiting an autopsy, but the girl did not appear to die of natural causes.
The FBI and Choctaw Tribal Police say they're still investigating.
No arrests have been made in her death.
We'll bring you the latest as it becomes available.
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text: Veebeam uses wireless USB to stream media from PC to TV Technology 15 September 10 by Priya Ganapati Dylan Tweney/Wired.com The streaming media player bubble isn't over. A new contender called Veebeam hopes to make customers reconsider how they want to get their daily fix of web video.Veebeam wirelessly hooks up your PC to your TV so you can watch The Daily Show, Hulu, Netflix movies and The Big Bang Theory on a giant screen rather than a 22-inch monitor. The Veebeam player streams media in high-definition–780p or 1080p resolution–at speeds that can be up to four times faster than WiFi.Veebeam is competitively priced against Apple TV and the Roku box. A SD version of Veebeam costs $100 (£64), a HD version comes for $140 (£90). But for that price, Veebeam can do more than many of its peers, says Patrick Cosson, vice-president of marketing for Veebeam. Veebeam showed its product at the DEMO Fall 2010 conference on Tuesday."Apple TV is a walled garden," he says. "Most people's basket of entertainment media consumption is broader so they need a platform that gives them that," says Cosson.It's not a new pitch. Companies such as Google, Boxee and Netgear have been trying to tap into the growing pool of users who are now turning to web video for their entertainment. In May, Google launched Google TV, a new set-top-box platform based on Google's Android operating system that will have access to Flickr, gaming sites such as Club Penguin, music sites such as Pandora and traditional cable programming.Other companies such as Roku and Boxee have been slightly less ambitious, promising just an easy way to stream web content from the PC to the TV. Boxee, though, is available only as a software program but the company has said its partnership with D-Link will result in a Boxee box this year.And there's Apple TV. Though long characterized as a "hobby" by Apple CEO Steve Jobs, Apple launched a new version of the device earlier this month. Apple TV now integrates Flickr photos, allows rental of TV shows from ABC and Fox and lets users stream media from their iTunes library."Apple TV is a 720p solution," says Cosson, "while we can stream at 1080p so you can advantage of that HD TV."Veebeam uses wireless USB to stream content from the PC to the TV. Wireless USB is more powerful for point-to-point connectivity than traditional Wi-Fi because it offers more bandwidth and less interference, says the company. Veebeam estimates 420 Mbps speeds for wireless USB.Customers have to plug the Veebeam box to their TV and attach the USB antenna that comes with the device to their laptop. Users can switch between the 'screencasting' mode for sharing websites or photos and the 'play-to' mode for video.Though services such as Boxee have had problems with Hulu -- Hulu blocked Boxee at least thrice over two years -- Veebeam is confident it can fly under the radar."It's impossible for Hulu to block us," says Cosson. "We take a series of little pictures of your computer and project it out to your TV so Hulu doesn't know that the content is on the TV. They think it's on the browser." That in a nutshell explains Veebeam. It's a wireless USB hub in a pretty chassis. It doesn't connect directly to the internet -- it just streams what is on your laptop. Still, at its price it could be a cheap and painless way to get video from your notebook to your TV screen. Edited by Olivia Solon Latest on wired.co.uk


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The Kardashians
Pregnant Kim Kardashian's Breasts Mocked by Mom Kris Jenner
If you got it, flaunt it, right? Not so much for pregnant Kim Kardashian, who looked 50 shades of miserable during last night's episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Granted, at the time Kimmy was about six months along in what proved to be a very difficult pregnancy, and having mom Kris Jenner rib her about her inflated bits probably didn't help.
"I've never seen anything like it. They're two watermelons," joked Kris about her daughter's breasts. (There's a sentence we wish we could unwrite.)
As if the melon joke wasn't enough, Kris added, "I don't know how she goes day to day and carries those boobs around. You need a crane."
Kim's ladies did look awfully dangerous and it's not as if the starlet's shy about sharing her frontside (or backside for that matter). But knocker jokes on a family vacation? Too much, Kris! Just too much.
Kim, meanwhile, seemed so preoccupied with not passing out from utter exhaustion that she didn't appear to care what Krissy Kris said, coolly appraising the situation with the offhand comment, "There's not even milk in them yet, which is like the scary part." There are a lot of scary parts about this scene, Kim, but we're not sure that's first among them.
Source: Daily Mail


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You can be a CLCE volunteer, too! You live and work in this community, why not give a little back by joining CLCE as a volunteer. We are always looking for volunteers for all of our programs. Visit us in SURC 256 to get started.
Attend events
Need an invitation to a CLCE program? Consider yourself invited. Join us and get to know the students of CWU and the greater community.


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NEW YORK ( TheStreet ) -- With the average family expected to shell out $688 for back-to-school expenses, according to the National Retail Federation, it's important to decide if the items you plan to buy are actually necessary.A lot has been made of a disappointing back-to-school season for retailers so far with moms and kids pushing back purchases, however, don't let that fool you into thinking lots of money isn't being wasted to outfit and arm today's student. The lull in back-to-school shopping highlights an important consumer wisdom: Sometimes the best way to save money is to simply buy less.
Also consider how practical some of the items you plan to buy will be in the classroom. "Big binders or Trapper Keepers are unnecessary for elementary-aged students -- and they do not fit in the classroom's desks. Also, pencils or pens that have a "novelty" aspect to them -- anything with a toy topper, etc., will irritate teachers by distracting kids," says Linsey Knerl, mother of five and blogger. 2. Shop at home Before you even head out to the stores, shop at home first. Check your closets and desk drawers to see what items you already have. And if you purchased a backpack or book bag in previous years, as long as it's still intact, why replace the bag every year? Take stock of items you bought last year and try to recycle as much as you can.


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Rising concerns about rising water around Lyons
LYONS, Colo. - Sunday's rain is causing concerns about rising water levels in Colorado rivers, especially around the town of Lyons which was devastated by floods last September and is still working to recover.
Residents in nearby Raymond even called 911 early Sunday as the St. Vrain breached its banks and a bridge, causing pools of water between cabins and the road.
"About 1 a.m. one of my neighbors knocked on our door," said Brad Langdon. "Two families here year-round and my wife and I got up and moved our cars to the other side of the bridge in case anything would happen."
With the rain came renewed anxieties with neighbors out surveying the river and snapping pictures as rain fell sporadically Sunday afternoon.
"(Saturday) night when the flood warnings were in effect, we could hear the boulders rolling down the river. It was kind of scary," said Vicki Dyas. "We had to come out and have a look."
Residents said people are watching and listening to the river more closely than ever.
"We were more complacent before," said William Dyas, of heightened awareness after September's floods.


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Things to see and do - Saint-Lô
Leaving for France
Saint-Lô :
Unmissable tourist sites
Where to sleep?
Saint-Lô Hotel tips
Inter-Hotel Saint-Lô from72 €Book
Hôtel Mercure Saint Lo from75 €Book
ibis budget Saint Lo from42 €Book
Saint-Lô Travel guide
Saint-Lô : Michelin's recommendations
On 19 July 1944, Saint-Lô was wiped off the map: devastation and the ruined steeples of the collegiate church were a heavy price to pay for the liberation of France. Saint-Lô has been valiantly reconstructed; a new city was born, making the most of the schist spur on which it sits which renders the site so unique. Nowadays, Saint-Lô is the administrative centre of the Manche region.
Tourist attractions Saint-Lô : Things to see and do
Saint-Lô Equestrian Centre - National Stud Farm
437 rue du Mar.-Juin F - 50000 St-Lô
Today it is the largest of the 23 national stud farms, and is installed in buildings restored to their original form. This stud specialises in the Normandy cob, the trotting horse and the French saddle horse. There are eight stable blocks around the ..
Place du Gén.-de-Gaulle
Place du Gén.-de-Gaulle F - 50000 Saint-Lô
Opposite the modern tower, the prison has become a monument to the memory of the Resistance and victims of Nazism. In the centre, the charming and graceful statue, Normandy Milkmaid by Pierre Derbré, is a reminder that life goes on.
Fine Arts museum of Saint-Lô
pl. du Champ-de-Mars - Centre Culturel Jean-Lurçat F - 50000 Saint-Lô
From the history of Tapestry ( Tapestry of the Loves of Gombault and Macée, eight earthy panels from the end of the 16C) to contemporary tapestries represented by Picart le Doux and et Jean Lurçat.
Hotels Saint-Lô
hotelF1 Saint Lo
Rue Jules Valles F - 50000 SAINT LO
Prix Prices from : 35 €
"hotelF1, the new generation of low-cost hotels in France. 240 ultra-economical hotels with parking and WIFI are accessible 24/7. New look, new Duo or Trio rooms for your professional or private stopovers.Outside the room is the spacious and wel..
Hôtel Mercure Saint Lo
1, avenue de Briovere F - 50000 SAINT LO
Situated in the heart of the town and within walking distance of the station, the Mercure Saint Lô hotel offers wonderful, unobstructed views over the ramparts. This cosy and modern hotel offers comfortable rooms which are perfect for relaxing in aft..
ibis budget Saint Lo
151 Bd Strasbourg F - 50000 Saint Lo
The ibis budget (formerly Etap Hotel) offers accommodation at a budget price. Choose a pleasant and modern room when on your travels. Each room is designed to accommodate 1, 2 or 3 people. All of our rooms have air conditioning, a double bed, single ..
Restaurants Saint-Lô
Brasserie Les Capucines
1 rue Alsace-Lorraine F - 50000 Saint-Lô
This brasserie has been redone in a contemporary vein with a long counter, high tables and modern palette of colours (chocolate, cream and orange). The dishes are similarly in keeping with the zeitgeist: tartare, oysters, salads, grilled pig's trotte..
1 rue Alsace-Lorraine F - 50000 Saint-Lô
Upstairs at the Brasserie Les Capucines, this intimate and cosy restaurant has a sober, minimalist decor. The chef lets his creativity flow, and the results are a hit. He subtly blends excellent ingredients from Normandy's terroir with exotic flavour..


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Afghanistan's Literacy Challenge
In recent years, Afghanistan's battered education system has seen some progress - including more schools for boys and girls, and better access to critical resources such as books and classroom equipment. Yet, the nation's literacy rate still remains one of the lowest in the world estimated at 27 percent. To help Afghanistan address this ongoing challenge, The Asia Foundation partnered with children's book publisher Hoopoe Books to distribute 1.2 million much-needed traditional storybooks in Dari and Pashto as well as in English to schools throughout Afghanistan. Our digital media team recently visited some of the schools that just received books and caught up with students in their classrooms. Photos by Jon Jamieson.


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"Two American men were deported for sleeping with too many girls," a foreign friend reported to me sometime ago. "They gave a number of girls hope about marriage and traveling to America and the girls willingly gave themselves to the guys." My friend was a teacher in a small town in Central China were news always traveled fast. She explained that when the girls realized that they had been 'used', they complained to the local authorities who promptly arrested the men and sent them out of the country.
While such stories are relatively rare in China, there is little doubt that Chinese women are regularly taken advantage of by a handful of the thousands of foreigners who are living and working in China. Some foreigners arrive in China with the attitude that this country is a 'playland' and that taking advantage of Chinese women will have no consequences. Still, there many more foreigners in China who just happen to meet a nice girl that they are truly interested in. Thus, the million dollar question presents itself. Is it a good idea for foreigners to date Chinese women?
The simple answer to this question is 'yes.' But wait. don't close this page quite yet. There are a few tips that you should have in your mind before you step into the Chinese dating scene.
- –Be honest with your girflfriend about your intentions. If you are only going to be living in China temporarily, make sure that she understand this. Do not lead her on by giving her false hope for the future. Doing this could cause trouble for you later on.
- –PDA (Public Display of Affection) is still highly frowned upon in many parts of China. Kissing and even holding hands in public is considered improper by the older generation.
- –Going to visit your girlfriend's hometown is often seen as a serious step towards marriage in China. If you are invited to visit your girlfriends' hometown during a holiday, be careful. Accepting the invitation may send the wrong message to her and her family.
- –In traditional culture, the fewer boyfriends that a girl has before marriage, the better. Ideally, a girl should marry her first boyfriend.
- –Having multiple girlfriends in China is never a good idea. As I wrote about earlier, acting 'the playboy' in China could have serious consquences on the status of your visa.
A quiet yet powerful sexual revolution seems to have been spreading through China since the turn of the millenium. Attitudes about sex before marriage are gradually changing amongst the younger generation. I wrote about this change a few months ago in an article entitled Sex and Hypocrisy – The Edison Chen Scandal. However, engaging in sexual activity with a Chinese girl is still not a wise decision for the following reasons:
- –If your girlfriend's parents discover that you are involved sexually with their daughter, there may be 'hell to pay.' Chinese parents are often extremely protective over their 'adult' children and you could find yourself in serious legal and physical danger. I have heard stories about enraged parents who have taken matters into their own hands if they feel that their daughter's honor has been somehow compromised.
- –If the local police happen to notice that a young lady is spending an inordinate amount of time at your apartment, they may suspect that she is a hired prostitute. I have heard stories of foreigners being deported on the basis of that very suspicion.
- –Impregnating a Chinese girl is a serious matter in China. Do not assume that because you are a foreigner that you will be able to just leave the girl and let her 'fend for herself.' Passports of foreigners who impregnated Chinese girls have been blocked before so don't count on leaving the country.
- –For most girls in China, having sex is a sign of a serious relationship that is headed towards marriage. While there are always exceptions, most Chinese girls do not want to be simply used as a 'plaything.' Thus, engaging in sex should never be taken lightly.
Never forget that you are a guest in China. You are an unofficial representative of your country and every action that you take will be scrutinized by someone. It is also important to remember that Chinese girls, like any other girls around the world, have feelings. In a country where boy-girl relationships are not taken lightly, being given hope by a foreigner, used for 'pleasure', and then abandoned, could destroy a girl's outlook on life. You also need to understand the concept of 'family shame' in China. Bringing shame upon a Chinese girl will also bring shame upon her family. In some areas of China, such shame could result in the girl being treated as an outcast in her family and village or even being subjected to physical abuse.
There is nothing inherently wrong with having a girlfriend in China. Such a relationship can you help you become better acclimated to the culture and learn more about your city. It can also be a good way for you to have a positive impact on a Chinese girl's life. However, it may be a good idea to treat this relationship more as a friendship unless you are seriously considering marrying the young lady. Just be careful and think about the consequences of your actions not only for yourself but also for the Chinese girl and her family.
152 Responses to Dating and Sex in China
[…] Dating and Sex in China […]
I agree. IP is full of shit. What city does he live in? Or, more likely he must have read a 40year old book regarding mythical China.
Promiscuity is rampant. Want sex on the first date. No condom use. liars, cheats,self-centredness and an ubundance of generally non-human behaviour.
The west is tame compared to this trash.
i think whether we are foreigner or chinese, we should respect girl and woman. never play with her feelings. should give her due respect. and keep ur and her promises. they are delicate and beautiful thing of the world.
titi1990 Reply:
April 13th, 2013 at 11:52 pm
i like this saying, nothing is a big problem if you truely love.
I read all these comments here and let me ad something. I am living in China for 8 years, had 2 serious relationships but unfortunate both end up. My first relationship was was a tempered girl from Central China, didnt clean up and needed an AYE…strangly to say, very jealous type of chinese girl with no sense of giving space. My second relationship was with a 18 years younger girl which almost lead to marriage but at the end of the day, after paying her parents house morgage almost off she discovered that age difference is an issue and I cant make her happy….both relationships basically were very commercial orientated and money was ALWAYS the topic…love and commitment plays a secondary role. for me, I do not trust any girl in China and I became very suspicious even when dating (unfortunate cause I know there are also good girls out there which have good intentions).
Couldn't Agree More Reply:
March 31st, 2013 at 1:25 pm
Most Chinese girls are after $$$. A few good actors will even give you GFE love and affection with no $trings attached but after a few months into the relationship you will suddenly be asked for financial assistance because she's falling behind on bills etc. She will say what kind of BF are you not to support his GF? Soon it will be her family etc… In other words, if you want to date a Chinese girl, beware…. maybe cheaper to go to a massage parlor.
titi1990 Reply:
April 13th, 2013 at 11:26 pm
wow, date of your reply is exactly when i got on board in the company now i currently work.. which i hate…well,back to the topic,i used to date an american,and i too put great emphasize on money and age,( he;s just 6 years older than me though)..he;d never know that even today,i still think of him a lot… but you know he;s really short tempered and he frightens me a lot of times. he made calls at 3 in the morning and seems to me,my family and my own life isn't important at all…..i was so desperately wanting a relationship,yet i can't just can;t do it…you have no idea what it is like in China when you are dumped by a foreigner….. the judgement goes like this, you deserved that because your vanity, your curiosity, your worship to money…and people think you are that kind of people to sell yourself to a foreigner,and what;s more important,your whole family is humiliated because of you..and bless whoever find a good foreigner husband,cause that;s a big risk…( weird though,many people are really doing this, it is just they sell themselves to Chinese,but people wouldn;t say much over it…)anyway, we always want and mean to be serious, but you have to understand,life is not easy for us..
Mark is absolutely right. I am going back to Wuhan to teach in summer. There are some chinese women who are drop dead gorgeous and others who are less so. And, there are chinese women who find us western guys attractive, and others who find us less so. Unfortunately, we, western males, meet some stereotypical idea of beauty. So we get stared at, apparently, our big noses, white skin and blue eyes meet some ideals of beauty.
I am married, happily, so I am not ever going to have an affair with a chinese woman, full stop. The reason for this, quite apart from love of my wife, is that chinese women, and their parents , have expectations very early on about future relationships. An invitation to dinner could be seen as weighing up a future marriage prospect. There is no concept of dating, as such. Teenagers are not allowed to have boyfriends or girlfriends until they graduate, and then they are expected to soon find a marriage partner.
Thanks Mark
titi1990 Reply:
April 13th, 2013 at 11:34 pm
with all due respect,date does exist.Our parents generation takes it really serious of their sun/daughter's taking friends homw, but i guess if you are single and you bring a chinese Girl home your parents would also be surprised and have some suspect… but if we explain things would be much more clear….and yes, chinese parents tend to be overprotective over their offsprings,but our future generations are literally open… dating and having sex in high school is not rare anymore….i don;t know, maybe i just happen to have a great family and great parents.
titi1990 Reply:
April 13th, 2013 at 11:49 pm
and one more thing to add,you really don't know which the better,teenagers have sex and get pregnant,and then what?i bet even in America this is not a good thing.you need to know it's so abnormal for a teenager to go out and to buy comdon,let alone for girls to get pregnant at a young age, yet teenagers are impulsive,curious and reckless.. So in someway,i think our parents are right to be protective in someway..though in the future i am going to buy them for my sun/daughter myself.
I wondered whether the issue here is just a general ethical issue, how people ought treat each other, which is only attenuated or clouded when applied to, say, a specific cultural context, in this case cross-national insensitivity. Technicalities aside, how is this so very different to a wealthy Australian tourist behaving badly in a poor Thai island resort? My mind keeps sailing away from the specifics to just the evolutionary things, 'difference' and 'animus', tribalism, and age-old gender chestnuts. Power is power: this is a situation of exploitation of 'weak' by 'strong', which is sadly the basis upon which all the attached institutions and parties operate. Work, love, even play, is all competition, for 'resources' or 'assets' or 'advantage'. Our target audience if they did read this would certainly come away thinking 'stealing sex from culturally constrained/credulous Chinese women is wrong' – they already know that, it's the general plan LOL. Most people know that to deceive and harm another for personal gain, in this degree or category, is – wrong, or at least not especially right. This sort of sexual abuse is pretty much normative in (my) culture but perhaps doesn't thrive so well transplanted to others. If our 'target audience' had the benefit of this information above, in particular just HOW badly they will hurt their victim, then I imagine that with their newfound understanding we might see that depressing statistic go down about 10% if we're lucky. This is only where racism and sexism and opportunism intersect, most unfortunately for a certain vulnerable minority. But this current most informative debate is a step toward a solution. I've learned a lot. This is a really good thing, this talk – and I take this opportunity to apologise to everyone, including Knock, for my little tantrum up there which was a blot upon it. Nathan childish loss of composure, extended version LOL – peace Knock, brothers and sisters 😀
Let's see, P.C. Liberals say sex is a natural thing. Then scream if a "religious zealot" should tell them sex is not the right choice! Make up your minds!
People use people are the time. Chinese girls are the players in China, not the men. They are not a fragile as one would think.
But I think good advice is good advice no matter where you live. You don't need to jump into bed with everyone you meet. The country is not important.
I work in trading company i am a foreigner and i see both sides are without scurples, as long as the girl does not get pregnant and the family shun and they play it safe i say so what….i have seen some things in china that i would perhaps have rather not, i lost a deal to competitor. How i lost this was simple the other company arranged for female company for this client, the girl was nice, my client actually a little naive of the world but a nice guy but very married and i know unhappily so, he lives in a sexless marriage but committed to his wife non the same. I did not supply a girl and would not, just not interested in getting business that way BUT it is very very common and many of the salesmen who are men object to this method and for my own part i think it sends a clear message, Chinese girls are for fun and not for serious relationship. Western woman also love to put down Chinese woman by promoting this the thinking that Chinese girls are all cheap whores, for 300 – 2000 rmb that could be argued to be true, but they say this to be self serving and i know for a fact (many western men would agree) that Chinese woman are far better wives, i know the supplier provided the girl at their own cost and my client was very happy with the girl, she obviously wanted more than a money relationship but in fairness this is all she was ever going to get, men rarely marry whores on foreign trips. Prostitution is supposed to be illegal in China but it is rife. I have heard of one story that the boss of a company told the girl to sleep with the customer and he would put a little extra in her pay packet, knowing Chinese business practices i do not doubt this. There are other cultural differences that send a message of similar thinking many of the men for Taiwan come here to have a "second wife" who they provide great apartments and comfort for so they have someone for their visits, the girls seem more than happy with this arrangement, any doubts on this and visit Xiamen Hubin Lan Lu also known as lady street where so many of these "kept women" live. In the west this is seen as morally wrong, also when marrying a Chinese woman it is customary to provide a gift of some 150,000 rmb (approx) we again see this as morally wrong, its like buying a wife which is similar to a mail order bride which in the past was less acceptable, however cultural change is not just limited to China!
The fact is the cultural differences are so wide that any judgments made are based on your cultural background.
The fact that China illegalise prostitution and yet it is so rife is rather amusing. If i want a whore i can have one here in about 25 minutes so how much of deterrent are the penalties.
The mention of girls being hurt is fair some girls do not know what they are getting themselves into but this is also true of any naive girl anywhere, so whats so different about china, i have deflowered my fair share without a second thought. Naive girls only have their parents to blame and to some degree themselves. There is the other point that many of the girls in china love the foreigner and want to be with him, after all he is excitingly different in looks and thinking and generally more romantic than most Asian men, frankly speaking a lot of Chinese go with western men out of desperation due to the fact that they are exasperated
with Chinese men who do not know how to woo a woman and treat her well whilst they are together, actually (this is for you girls) the wooing and romance goes when the wedding is over or the guy fly home.
THERE IS FAULT AND MISCONCEPTIONS ON BOTH SIDES BUT MANY MEN ARE NOT TOLD THAT THEY CAN BE DEPORTED FOR HAVING A PROSTITUTE THIS IS THE ONE MESSAGE THAT NEEDS TO BE PUT ON A VISA MORE CLEARLY THIS WILL DISCOURAGE BAD BUSINESS PRACTICE. So this is the only message that needs to be made more clear, but i for one think this is wrong because all that will do is make the guys look harder for a girlfriend who they have no intention of keeping for long term. Many Chinese think that all westerners are rich but this is a total crock there are many many poor western people. remember there are more millionaires in china now, they are just not as romantic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope this gets the comments flooding in this is subject that could do with a little more chat.
I think the following should occur.
1. Legalize prostitution but make sure the girls keep to a strict code of safe sex and get clean and fair conditions and are not abused and get a fair cut of their labor after all they do most of the work.
2. That all businessmen are banned from using anyone in their employ to harvest business using sex other than from a registered sex worker and the penalties for doing so are severe as this is morally outrageous and promotes poor quality product leaving china to unwitting buyers.
3. That all men are made aware that if they take a bride in china that they will be required to buy a gift (not a dowry – money) as this shows respect and at the same time makes it clear the daughter is not being bought. i for one think this is horrid as i am broke and do not want my in laws to know this and neither does my wife but we are committed to each other and this is whats really important as two people who love each other can overcome much. This should overcome social attitude taboos.
4. That girls (especially from the villages) are taught at home that men travelling are not men to be trusted, whether they be Chinese, Taiwanese or other foreigner.
5. There is also a problem going to happen (happening) in china soon, many young Chinese work away from family, as social attitudes change and meld with foreign then more promiscuity will occur in the young. it is important for Chinese to work together to overcome this.
6. It is important for China to try to safeguard its traditional values while it has to also be realized that the great wall no longer a barrier that foreign ideals and values will enter to every facet of life here and that wise men of China without prejudice should be selected to debate these subjects and come up with good solutions to the problems faced, because it is obvious to foreigner and Chinese that china has a great social structure and should try to keep it, but also i wish to add that girls should also be more valued not treated as something that was not wanted and the boy born second or third was the one that is wanted and the girl is just a bloody inconvenience this is abhorrent in my view.
7. China is a great country i for one would like to see it kept that way and not sink to the depths of depravity that exist in so many western countries, just look at the riots in UK, the crazy gun laws in USA, just to mention a few.
Nathan Hall Reply:
December 5th, 2011 at 1:27 pm
1. This is like asking China to regulate their coal industry, but a lot further down the list.
2. Definitely: that's a law that should be made – but could never be enforced
3. Those men who are actually getting married will find this out. We are not concerned with those men at all.
4. That is a very depressing and silly thing to teach. You advocate that xenophobia should become social and educational policy. The correct thing to teach is sound judgment, not racism.
5. 'Promiscuity' is not necessarily a 'problem'. Having sex, not married or with more than one person, is not necessarily wrong, either for men or women. Whilst mindful of 'globalisation' and shifting cultural norms, we ought not lose sight of the sexual revolution which happened only about fifty years ago. We must think a bit more broadly and openly than this. Regarding 'tradition' we should credit China with the intelligence and the means to move forward without leaving itself behind, or at least appear to.
6. Wise men are generally not permitted to speak their mind in China. China is basically a benign dictatorship. It is largely lawless, not least as there is no real separation between state and judiciary, the former simply acting through the latter. China is not a 'democracy', it just likes to go to market these days. So if you want Chinese wise men, you have to go to TED.com, not China. I am sure you did not mean the Chinese government when you talked about wise men. I am sure you did not mean the 'Great Leaders'.
7. Depravity is everywhere. Stop making it a cultural thing. You talk about this 'depravity' in the same essay in which you talk cavalierly of having personally 'deflowered' 'many a' young female human being 'without a second thought'. Apparently, your behaviour was ethically sound because she lacked crucial intelligence about you and your motives. She 'should have known better' is not, in my view, a viable defence to an accusation of sexual or psychological abuse. You I really have to question, proud of your personal depravity and then ending up railing against others'. A+ for effort, D+ for achievement. Major points lost for the misogyny and contradiction.
Minus the sanctimonious stuff on this website regarding dating and other personal related information, the website is interesting. But on the passport part which states,
"Impregnating a Chinese girl is a serious matter in China. Do not assume that because you are a foreigner that you will be able to just leave the girl and let her 'fend for herself.' Passports of foreigners who impregnated Chinese girls have been blocked before so don't count on leaving the country."
This is just misinformation at best. The CCP would never take someone's passport for such a thing. Just in case a local government goes rouge, for whatever reason, you would only need to call your consulate, give it a day and the local government will hand it back no problem. The passport is the property of your government, not yours, so when the consulate gets involved and asks the CCP for their property back, the CCP will do it without question. Well that is of course unless you killed someone, or some other major crime.
I could also go on in length about the CCP canceling you visa because you date to much, technically it is possible, but highly unlikely.
Robert Vance Reply:
August 2nd, 2011 at 11:44 am
Please reread what I wrote. I didn't say that passports have been seized. I said that they have been blocked. In other words, you might not be allowed to leave the country. There is a difference…
Sean Reply:
August 8th, 2011 at 11:32 pm
Well, the only way the CCP could prevent you from leaving is by taking your passport or putting you in jail. Either way unless it is an actual crime ( getting a woman pregnant is not) the same remedy applies, in other words call your embassy and you will be on your way soon enough.
Prof B Reply:
October 31st, 2013 at 7:15 am
You are naive. Under US Law if you are a US citizen convicted in ANY COUNTRY of sexual abuse or prostitution there are severe restrictions by the US government on you traveling abroad. China only needs to deport you for either of those acts and both China and the US will see to it that you don't go back by making it virtually impossible to exit the US or get a Visa to China. Even conviction for spousal abuse in the US goes on your passport records as do any records that classify you as a sexual predator.
First of all, it's important for me to mention off the bat that I actually like your blog.
However, your article seems slightly too narrow to be truly illuminating to those who've not been to China before. I have a feeling, based on your responses to other criticism you've drawn from this blog, that I know you're going to say that it's based on experience and observation but I should remind you that you are just one man and China is a very big place.
Another issue I have is with the title which is "Dating and Sex in China", when it would, perhaps, be more apt to call it "Warnings about Dating and Sex in China for the Western Male" but I suppose it isn't as punchy, after all. Indeed, your article only addresses foreign males looking to work in China, forgetting non-western foreigners male and female working in China, Chinese men & woman, and western females. What about Chinese men/women who use foreign women/men to emigrate from China? Happens a lot, but here you seem content in catering to the "foreigner=morally repugnant" crowd.
I also take issue that some vaguely defined "bad experience" in love will shatter the view towards foreigners in general in the eyes of considerate and feeling people (in this case, Chinese people) or as you melodramatically claim "ruin" those same people's lives forever. After a bad experience thinking and feeling people, though wiser for the experience, tend to pick themselves up and dust themselves off. Also, it is useless to try and claim that the same vaguely defined "bad experiences" don't exist within Chinese on Chinese relationships too.
Also, don't lose yourself any sleep over foreigners ever forgetting that they are guests here and very much "foreigners", foreigners who are also constantly reminded by helpful folks that things occurring here are far beyond their cognitive capabilities. I, for one, am reminded of the fact of my foreignness almost too much to truly feel like the "guest" I'm so often told I am. Indeed, at times, seemingly in the most enlightened of company and in the most bizarre conversational contexts I am reminded. Often times it is as though the person with whom I was speaking was simply waiting for their opportunity to remind me of my foreignness, regardless of what was being discussed. I personally can't recall ever having referred to a person from another country as a "foreigner" when encountering one in my homeland, nor of feeling the need to remind them that they were "only a guest" there. Or yet again of laughing at them in nervousness of contact or in ridicule at their behavior (unless, of course, their behavior was criminally antic, as in the case of the exchange student from Japan who ransacked his roommate's/my good friend's bedroom back in University. But then again, I never, even then thought "those crazy foreigners" I just thought "what an asshole!" that guy was). The same cannot be said of certain Chinese people abroad (by no means all) who continue to refer to natives of the country they are visiting as "waiguoren".
Warning Off topic:
And Vance, please don't say "What's hard about teaching English in China?" as you have in replies to others in previous posts because A) it is becoming increasingly "hard" here (especially in the nicer spots/cities, regarding hours, conditions, treatment, etc.) B) it doesn't reflect well on your integrity as a teacher, in other words: if you care, it is very much WORK and C) which is strongly related to A) there seem to be far too many teachers in China who are self-loathing defeatists or, worse, mealy-mouthed "yes men" who feel it is racism or cultural insensitivity to stand up for themselves and value their contribution (a very real and valuable one) and as such allow the private language industry and public institutes to trample them. It's bad for the professionals.
terry Reply:
September 5th, 2011 at 12:43 pm
interesting post, i never think of Chinese as racist i think of them as isolated but yes you are right they are the perfect racist in as far as they always remind you of the fact that you are a foreigner and when the live on the outside they want to live in China Town a self imposed Apartied. Frankly i think they are great, kind and caring to whom they know, faithful wives and great mums. I think any guy married to a Chinese woman is one lucky fella and many of the married guys i meet who travel to China say they envy me. I think that the racism is a cultural problem and not a slight towards problems, they have been more isolated and their thinking has been engineered through certain teachings at home and school. Chinese are not bad people, whereas racism in the west is based on hate of difference, Chinese racism is based on the observational differences of people and the need to keep to your own as its what you know best and anything different is not to be trusted as it did not relate to the teachings at home and school. I would ask Chinese who read this to see this difference and make one change to continue to enjoy the differences, i know that many of the comments you make to westerners are for their own good and are well meaning but over do it and it can be interpreted another way.
I would like to add some interesting comments for Chinese to broaden their outlook on life as this is the underlying problem
for instance you all seem to eat such an unvaried diet from day to day, this in its self is one of those small things that keeps you isolated in "your safe zone" but the world is to be explored and new experiences to be savored not scared of. i suggest you all get more into Italian food first (not pizza perhaps) but noodle based Italian and expand from their, then you will realize the world has more to offer and not to be isolated as foreign but to be incorporated into a great nation like China after all most good things in China came from somewhere else originally and that is no less true today than yesterday. Also you should make all your movies subtitled in English not to do so is crazy it isolates china culture from the world, we want to enjoy this to. We have so much to offer and so do you. I LOVE HON GOO SOUP ohhh so much, if i had missed that i would have missed a great thing, but you should try sticky date pudding oh my god that is to die for. okay food is one thing but my point is expand your experiences and do not isolate us or yourselves, we can both benefit, just be wise enough to recognize the bad things, in our case that is too much sugar and salt in your case to much rice and repetitiveness. WOW i took a long time to get to the point he he.
Chris Reply:
February 20th, 2012 at 8:40 am
I agree that work here is getting tougher and good schools expect ever improving standards. I do believe that Teachers should stand up for themselves though…
I recently caused an uproar when my school kept me working after my contract finished. I was still within my residency permit time.
However, the school started to play me with, "we are giving you the opportunity to prove yourself for another contract" and crap like this. I told my students in a big social club class exactly what was happening and asked them if I should stay and whether it was fair. I then got my supervisor to enter the class (to her surprise) to ask the students directly.
This obviously pissed off the school an awful lot, but then I warned them that I'm going to the PSB to inform them about the lack of contract so that any attempt to blackmark me would fail.
After a calm discussion, where I nicely countered all their arguments with the fact of the matter from my point of view, they actually offered me a new contract and asked me not to involve the students again. They tried to make me feel naughty, but I told them not to bother unless I behaved in such a way under contract – which I would never do.
I told them that out of contract I'm the boss of me and that's that. I told them that they are not lawyers nor are they the PSB so whatever they say has no meaning. They're just not used to workers standing up for themselves and this can be advantageous to foreigners. If a school is good and everything is fine, then there is nothing you should nor could do. But if ANYTHING isn't EXACTLY as it SHOULD BE. Then GO FOR IT!
Just remember, when in the office negotiating, to be gentle, peaceful and calm – yet as solid as a rock in your view of them being required to correct your affairs.
Anyway, it solved the problem and showed them not to play games with me. They do respect me and they DID want me to stay. We're all friends again – only now they're not going to fuck with me and will play a straight game.
Don't be afraid to "show your balls" if the school isn't 100 percent correct. Otherwise you're in trouble if for any reason the PSB comes sniffing around.
Sometimes you just have to throw a hard six and take a gamble. Otherwise they'll treat you like a college girl and not as a 36 year old man!
DL Reply:
February 21st, 2012 at 9:55 am
Hi Chris,
Thanks for the reply. Your experiences are common, unfortunately. What is uncommon is that you stuck up for yourself and now you are all "BFF" as you say, good for you! I mean this situation, it happens, but -I swear it- some schools are so jaded (in their limited view of things) with foreign staff that they are rotten through and through. This usually comes from empty promises on the schools part on the outset and the teacher not performing to order (order being that of a trained chimp most of the time).
Also, it seems, from your use of the word 'though' in the second sentence of your reply, that I perhaps was not as clear about showing support for teachers sticking up for myself as you have done; in fact that was completely what I meant to say. IE don't be a mealy-mouthed 'yes man', stick up for yourself and set some sort of precedent. I feel this is the only way to improve things.
A warning to teachers: Ask questions, be cognizant of what the school is doing and why and don't let them hold all the cards.
Although I like teaching, I don't believe things will improve here or that teachers will make a concerted effort to improve our lot, too disconnected, much like the Chinese populace. Not that private Ss don't help a teacher "bring home the bacon" but I just don't like living here enough to put up with some of the headaches and so I'm getting out. However, the market for English tuition, etc. in China is seemingly a bottomless-pit and as such very difficult for the skilled, itinerant English instructor. That said, I'll be exploring web-based options for utilizing my expertise from the relative comfort of my home (where ever that turns out to be) with Ss in China.
DL Reply:
February 21st, 2012 at 9:58 am
'myself' in paragraph 2 should obviously read 'themselves'.
I married a Chinese lady but before doing so had a relative short courting period. 2 weeks in China, 6 months in my country and a further 2 months in China where we lived together. We have been married now for 12 years and have had a great marriage despite many difficulties with language. To me mixed marriages are the heaven you want but on the other hand Chinese women are very conservative on the cot. Great lovers but lousy at fore play and this is going to take a long time to turn about. Trust me I have several mates who all complain about the same thing.
This post is rather old, but the biased, one-sided opinions it express still prevail today. Many people take up the defensive toward one side or another without even noticing that that is what they are doing. I think this is the most dangerous kind of bias and serves to fuel emotional outbursts and further ignorance.
This article seems to imply that it is coming to the defense of Asian women, as if they are all innocent and blameless. Are they nothing more than sheep to be safeguarded by their shepherds or are they human beings with at least an equal potential to do harm and evil as the so-called "wolves"? Do the women involved not carry some responsibility for their own lives and actions? I don't believe they are powerless to defend themselves. I don't believe that they don't break as many hearts as they make either.
Honestly, the real reason that a lot of these girls have relations with these foreign men is because the men are charmingly exotic. Many of them have had experience with much "tougher" women and are therefore able to easily overcome some of the psychological barriers many Asian women put up. Foreign men have learned to be outgoing and persistent and this, in turn, produces results. Foreign men are also more likely to be practiced in social situations and more direct in negotiations.
Rarely is the real world so cut and dry; so black and white. This article sounds like it was written by someone with a very narrow outlook, since he didn't even TRY to look at the situations from different perspectives. What he says may be true from one standpoint, but I find it hard to respect someone who can't present a more well-rounded viewpoint that is more realistic. Sorry, but I just prefer to be better educated and experienced rather than simply brainwashed and conditioned to believe somebody's opinion. Look at the facts, be more aware and less emotional.
This is the most one-sided and sheltered article on Chinese relationships I have ever read. It's almost completely delusional.
Most of my friends refer to Chinese women as "having the mind of a child with the ethics of a pirhana." If you thought Western women's idea of stripping involves removing the flesh from an innocent man, you are in for the how-to manual here. They are greedy, manipulative, immature, and totally insensitive by all of my accounts.
If you're sleeping around in a small town wreaking havoc, then you're an idiot. You should expect the girls to be quite traditional. However, that also means that the vast majority of them wouldn't be caught dead with you, the white devil. If I couldn't get out to Beijing at least once a month, I would go home half-insane. I cannot walk down the street in this city, which is two hours away from BJ, without jeers of "hello!" and "laowai!" (a racist term) by every hillbilly in sight. One of my fellow teachers here (we're certified high school subject-based teachers, not esl) has a wife and child who simply refuse to go outside on the basis of this.
ESL teaching is not difficult. Navigating Chinese society, on the other hand, is hell. It's not like we just come here and teach English. You have to live in between, unfortunately, and when you can't read, speak or listen, that becomes almost impossible. You downplay this massive detail as a total non-issue.
Nobody needs this man-hating, liberal, guilt-stricken tirade. Readers, disregard, PLEASE.
Also, I've never heard of someone getting kicked out for promiscuity. This could have been a rape for instance, and it would have been published somewhere, don't you think? You're going on rumor…
To garylong:
I've been here three years and in Asia for four years.
The stereotype people in Asia have about foreign teachers is one of ignorance and bigotry. . .it revolves around fear of differences. Their preconceived notion is the foreign teacher is just here for their white face and speaking ability. Which is what schools hire and expect.
Then there are people like me. Dual BA, two Master's Degrees, dual high school educator certification in history and English, Principal's certification. A real educator. Schools do not know how to handle that, so they micromanage the educator.
As for your last point: Chinese students are only interested in their face and the foreign teacher's class isn't on the Gaokao so they do not take it seriously. I teach University now and the damage against foreign teachers is now too well ingrained for it to change. Most hide behind "my English is poor" while little attempt to make their spoken English better, because failing is worse than never attempting, they do not want the scrutiny of their classmates and just want to blend into the ant colony so they truly have no desire to do anything.
But that does not matter, because it will be the school that will promote them due to social promotion, so schools here are waste of time. A student can go through three years of Gao Zhong and there years of University/College, do nothing and still pass.
Finally, for the headline. . .Dating here is full of ten thousand hypocrisies. It basically comes down to "If a Chinese man does something wrong in a woman's eyes, she will ignore it. If a foreigner does the same thing, it's the end of the world and she will harp on it until the end of time." Also, never trust her parents either. . .as parents are narrow minded, uneducated, bigoted and will only accept a man they choose for her. Remember, when the woman leaves after marriage, they lose their slave, so they will sabotage their daughter's relationship in order to keep the slave close, demand money and gifts in order to buy them off and then criticize everything. If you can find a girl strong enough to resist her parents, after marriage, you shut the Chinese in-laws out! It's easy. . .once you are married, they are out of the picture. At that point, gentleman, you're in control.
What scares me is that someone like cj is teaching English. cj's English level seems to be about 3rd grade. Maybe cj is teaching English to 2nd graders?
garylong Reply:
January 25th, 2011 at 6:53 pm
The heading or subject is "Dating and Sex in China"
not "Teacher Bashing" how many blogs I go to and see people out there with less than perfect English them self, sling shit at others about how bad their English is, I bet in a academic contest most of the teachers out there, with less than perfect English is the teacher that is the most loved in china, for their work and time, but stuck up born with a silver spoon in their mouth are the teachers that cannot stay in one school more than 6 months, as they are too restricted to do their work. lets face it Chinese students only want to get good marks in class, they are not in class to learn just in class to get a grade. so stop teacher bashing for God sake.
In Prefecture Reply:
January 29th, 2011 at 1:16 pm
The stereotype people in Asia have about foreign teachers is one of ignorance and bigotry. . .it revolves around fear of differences. Their preconceived notion is the foreign teacher is just here for their white face and speaking ability. Which is what schools hire and expect.
Then there are people like me. Dual BA, two Master's Degrees, dual high school educator certification in history and English, Principal's certification. A real educator. Schools do not know how to handle that, so they micromanage the educator.
As for your last point: Chinese students are only interested in their face and the foreign teacher's class isn't on the Gaokao so they do not take it seriously. I teach University now and the damage against foreign teachers is now too well ingrained for it to change. Most hide behind "my English is poor" while little attempt to make their spoken English better, because failing is worse than never attempting, they do not want the scrutiny of their classmates and just want to blend into the ant colony so they truly have no desire to do anything.
But that does not matter, because it will be the school that will promote them due to social promotion, so schools here are waste of time. A student can go through three years of Gao Zhong and there years of University/College, do nothing and still pass.
Finally, for the headline. . .Dating here is full of ten thousand hypocrisies. It basically comes down to "If a Chinese man does something wrong in a woman's eyes, she will ignore it. If a foreigner does the same thing, it's the end of the world and she will harp on it until the end of time." Also, never trust her parents either. . .as parents are narrow minded, uneducated, bigoted and will only accept a man they choose for her. Remember, when the woman leaves after marriage, they lose their slave, so they will sabotage their daughter's relationship in order to keep the slave close, demand money and gifts in order to buy them off and then criticize everything. If you can find a girl strong enough to resist her parents, after marriage, you shut the Chinese in-laws out! It's easy. . .once you are married, they are out of the picture. At that point, gentleman, you're in control.
May 27, 2008 at 3:06 am
A thoughtful post, but there are two sides to this coin. There is nothing to say in defense of laowai who take advantage of hapless Chinese girls. But there are just as many Chinese girls who take advantage of clueless laowai, whether for a visa or a green card.
But the problem is not just utilitarian—it is cultural. Why is there a strain of promiscuity in foreign males (I say male because most of these reports are of males) who come to China? Why do some Chinese women hold such high expectations toward relationships while others are in it for sex or money? These are other subjects for other posts, of course.
I hope reasonable people who are contemplating an international relationship will heed the advice in this post. But I fear that the people who need to read this most are combing their hair, lacing their shoes, and getting ready to go out to find someone to take home
Mr. Potato Reply:
April 5th, 2011 at 2:09 pm
"But the problem is not just utilitarian — it is cultural. Why is there a strain of promiscuity in foreign males (I say male because most of these reports are of males) who come to China?"
— You're right. It's cultural. In the West, the college years mark a time for experimentation with newfound freedoms. In other words, it has become a traditional time for promiscuous sex and partying. The same could be said for some vacationers. People venture out into the world far from home, not so they can live the same boring lives they had, but to gain new experiences and perhaps even cross metaphorical boundaries.
Nowadays, people tend to be rather promiscuous even in their Western hometowns. It's no suprise that they should be even more so when abroad. Part of the joy that comes from traveling comes from the sense of freedom and exploration. It's no wonder that people tend to be less inhibited when they are far from their Western homes. I guess you could say that some people get a little carried away in this excitement.
It's not just Asia that causes this phenomena. People go wild when they go to other places too. Vacationers will engage in promiscuous behavior in places like Paris, Madrid, Amsterdam, New Orleans or Las Vegas. Some see it as a way to relieve stress. The only difference is that such behavior is more likely to be misunderstood when it occurs in more conservative cultures like those found in Asia. People in these cultures tend to watch foreigners with a critical eye and judge behavior based on their own standards. Natives who view the foreigners may develop a lot of stereotypical views and opinions which may not be completely accurate or fair assumptions. For one thing, they may have a tendency to see all foreigners as belonging to a single group or type of people, which, of course, they are not.
On the other hand, Western women, while generally more open with their sexuality than those of other cultures, are likely still more cautious with their behavior no matter where they may be. Many of them are concerned for their own safety while traveling abroad, so they are less likely to engage in wild and reckless activities; though they might be more inclined to do so were they in a more comfortable environment.
Nathan Hall Reply:
December 1st, 2011 at 7:30 pm
Hmm. A thoughtful and well-crafted set of observations, which properly broaden the scope of the debate. Bravo.
there is 2 ways to look at every thing in life, I have been in china 6 years and some times just step back and hear what people have to say before I speak to people and hear the story's they have. I have found more and more Chinese girls are getting to be like the foreigners you spoke of, I have at some times got to know a girl over many months in the hope of marriage and even told the girl I have met that I will not have sex with her if she don't want to marry me. and if she want to marry I need to meet her family and friends as this is a part of going to the step of marriage as you have said. but I have done all this know a girl for months met every family members and not have sex and when the girl agree to marry and the family know this, we have had sex. but that did not stop the girl from being out with other boys to have sex with or saying to me after having sex many times and getting ready to marry that she don't want to be with me any more and make so many excuses. so I say don't just look at us foreigners as say we are bad in the end I believe its the foreigners that are just doing what the Chinese do as they say (When in Roma do as the Romeos do)
I know for a fact that when Chinese read this they will be angry and that's why I am making a web page for all your Chinese out that that have been cheating us foreigners. there is not many good Chinese left in china. don't point the finger at us foreigners as you have 3 fingers pointing back at you.
I was dating a chinese girl from Shangyang, she was a major narcissist. She made me nuts and I wanted to die. Be very careful the little doll you think they are might be a dragon lady trying to destroy your mind and life. Be very careful please , I am sure there are some nice Chinese women , maybe avoid divorced ones they probably are divorced for a reason.
After two years of being here, I can tell you that the wall to crack for a relationship is almost impossible. I met my Chinese girlfriend through my boss and it took so much for her just to begin to accept me as a person, let alone a foreigner.
Let's examine this article. If you are looking for what this article said the foreigners did and got deported for (more on that in a second), then just remember that, if you live in a larger city, Craig's list can give that to you. You might even spend the same amount of money, but not the time. If you live in a smaller city (like me), KTVs are the way to go. Don't bother with the possible crap of being shat upon due to a family believing their lying daughter over you (you are a foreigner and Chinese girls never lie, even though I caught one in six lies in less than five minutes).
As for a GF, here is the reality and the foreigner stereotypes:
1: Foreigners have diseases. Roll your eyes and accept it. Their parents raised these girls to be brainwashed with that lie.
2: Foreigners are too big so a Chinese girl's body cannot handle it. Trust me, away from everyone, that she-wolf comes out. The first kiss is the hardest one. After that, they come non-stop until you are out of breath.
3: Foreigners all leave. There was was only one way I could overcome this. I bought my apartment and convinced my retired parents to join me in China. Since then, I haven't been able to beat them back with the stick.
4: Foreigners act funny and will embarrass me: This is their "face" issue. Please remember that what is most important is not what a Chinese person thinks of themselves, but what the rest of the world thinks of them.
5: Foreigners only want sex. I have given lessons to Chinese girls about men and they are dumbfounded to believe that ALL men want sex, not just foreigners.
Chinese women, by in large, do not value their virginity. Their issue is fear. . .their parents, teachers, community and families have so stunted their emotional growth that most women in China in their 20s still think like 12 year old girls. They laugh at fart joke, giggle about men and act like girls with their first crushes. That force field is strong, grasshopper. Learn some Chinese and it begins to break down. Go into your second year and that forcefield breaks down even more. Setup roots (buy an apartment, import family or buy property that is hard to move at the drop of a hat ), and that forcefield all but lifts.
As for the story at the top. . .China is filled with stories like that. One Chinese teacher told me of a Chinese teacher in Heilongjiang who was in prison because a student committed suicide after the teacher admonished the student and the parents, school and LEO's held the teacher responsible. Present something more than "A Chinese friend said one time that. . ." and I would likely believe it.
I was with many Korean women in Korea and many Chinese women in China. I truly have enjoyed my life here. Do not let stories like this scare you. Small towns this may happen (and I mean 5% of the time), but anything larger than 3 million people (or Haikou) and this story would never happen.
Enjoy China. Teach, play, relax, make friends, go out to bars and listen to crap house music. . .then remember that Chinese women are people too and not to abuse them. They abuse themselves enough emotionally everyday. My GF, who has my engagement ring now, is the happiest woman on Earth right now. But I also know I have to bring her from childhood to adulthood and it's slow.
And there is the biggest issue for the foreigner. Chinese women, in a relationship, move at the speed of a UN debate. It will take months for them to decide upon you, and then it goes baby steps (hold hand, hug, kiss cheek, kiss lips, 3rd base, HOME RUN [usually after marriage]), but they will drop you quickly if you make one mistake. So, be patient and remind yourselves, lao wai nan ren. . .as perfect as one Chinese girl seems, there are 1.6 billion people here. . .another one will come along.
In Transition Reply:
July 8th, 2013 at 9:17 am
IP, You are freakin' hilarious!
What city do you live in?


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Chip in new aquarium I JUST bought at petsmart.
4 Attachment(s)
I didn't notice it at first but I feel dumb for not looking!!! :( But here is the pictures of the small chip, I am wondering if it is bad or if it is no big deal. =/
Btw, in case anyone remembers me, I'm consolidating most of my fish tanks into a 50 gallon aquarium. Having so many is just too much work.
=/ Sigh. This sucks.
It shouldn't matter at all, as long as it is just a shallow chip. It looks like it is, so I really wouldn't worry.
Thanks Erin. It is just a shallow chip, my parents are not concerned about it, but I just don't want to ruin their home. =/
in a 50g tank, i think any chip is dangerous because of the pressure of all the water in the tank. Even if the initial fill doesn't do any damage, pressure against the glass could cause it to crack more easily in the long run. I would exchange it for a new one.
If you can exchange it I would, you paid for a tank with no chips. I am going to guess they wont just exchange it though, because its Petsmart.
Whatever you do, you better hurry - the cat on the bed is anxiously awaiting FISH :)
Even though it's a pain, I think I would take it back.
I'm torn on this one. I think it depends on how much I shelled out for it and also if it's noticable.
But the cat does not seem to mind :)
It's sad because it is the only one they had, and it's not like we can prove it was already chipped. =/ I can check the other petsmart, but, what are your thoughts on petsmart and returning a tank that's been half filled with water already?
Edit: Well, I just talked to my dad, and since I kind of need him to help me move all this stuff around, and since my mom is paranoid I'll hit the walls or chip the staircase or w/e, I can't do it by myself. That said, my dad feels that since it's on the corner it does nothing to provide structure to the aquarium, which I agree is true when you think about it (but not everything is as it seems... it could have weakened the area so it might crack under the pressure, etc?). I feel it would be easier to get a new one than to clean up 50 gallons of water, but, I guess it's not up to me. And I don't want to push it too hard, unless you all think it is a risk. I hope you guys notice it is in the corner too and it doesn't seem to mess up any of the silicone attachment. I'm not sure that tiny piece of glass provides any structure since it's on the outside and water does not hit it. But still let me know what you think please!!
Also do fish tanks "leak" or do they "explode"?? I'm under the impression they explode. My parents seem to think "well, if it leaks we'll buy a new one" and im trying to convince them fish tanks don't leak they explode.
How the glass breaks is dependent on the glass, some just crack and hold its shape, others "explode." It depends on the force applied to the glass and type of glass.
As for the location of the chip, I dont understand why it wouldnt crack under pressure. Glass is not like acrylic where the corners are stronger than the open spaces. Glass is way more brittle. Inconsistent strength anywhere on the sheet of glass is a point of weakness. The silicone bonds add some strength to the corners, but if the glass were cracking under pressure, it would spread out towards the center of the tank.
@lorax: Could you explain more about why theres "no chance of the chip spreading"? I'm not a glass expert, but i have worked with glass and acrylic. In my experience, when pressure on glass is not evenly or gradually applied, ie a single point of excess pressure or weakness, the glass is more prone to cracking at that point <-- this is why aquascapers who use big rocks for their tanks put foam below their tank to even out and ease pressure at any one point. Its the same situation with car windshields, when theres a chip, cracks are much more likely to occur from the chipped spot.
There are other factors as well in terms of if the chip will affect the integrity of the tank, if the crack is near the top of the tank, theres less pressure on it. If its near the bottom of the tank, theres more pressure on it. Depth of the chip is also a big factor, a very shallow chip may stand up better to pressure, but if the chip is deep, ie half the thickness of the glass overall, then it may be cause for concern.
The best solution is to call petsmart and tell them about your situation and ask if they will exchange it.
When you say half filled, do you mean filled with gravel, decor, etc or just a test fill where its just water (always test fill tanks for leaks and cracks). If theres been no decor, draining it and wiping it down should be just fine, but with substrate or sumthing, you may have scratched the tank so it would be less likely for petsmart to accept a return.
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