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Postpartum Excursions & Outings: How Much Is Too Much?
Dear Amy,
I am a sleep deprived, first time mom of a beautiful three week old baby boy. And my mother in law is in town for a two week visit to see the baby, and as you can guess that is where my problem begins! My mother-in-law is typically a very sweet, kind woman who I get along with really well but this week has me at the end of my drastically shortened rope.
Crazy me thinks that after having an emergency c section three weeks ago, and having a challenging three week old that (big surprise) wakes up every 2-3 hours every night entitles me to some rest? Help? Other nice things? But this trip has turned into me playing the hostess for my mother-in-law, who has endless energy (maybe because she gets to sleep all night long) and hauling my exhausted butt and my poor newborn all over town to take her to do all these things she wants to do. So far she has been no help with the baby, or around the house, acts like I'm selfish and lazy for wanting to maybe take one freaking nap during the day, and acts like I'm weird for not wanting to haul my baby on endless amounts of errands. And I am talking endless. As I type this, it is 4 p.m. and we have been out to breakfast, to the farmer's market, to two stores, and up to a ski resort for Oktoberfest. I cannot even believe it. And I have told her and my husband countless times that I am a) exhausted and b) don't want to take my newborn with his brand new immune system to all of these germ-infested places. I can't even imagine taking care of a sick newborn. And c) whenever we take the baby out, he sleeps all day long in the car and in the stroller and then is awake all night long. To no avail. I was outvoted and away we went. Aside from locking myself and baby in the bathroom, I do not know how to get out of these trips!
Now my mother-in-law leaves in one week and the hellscape she has created will leave with her, so I can (maybe) bite my tongue a while longer- though I did have a breakdown and started sobbing on a bench at Oktoberfest. The real problem is my husband. His mom lives far away so it's not typically an issue but whenever we get together, I go from being number one to a far distant number two. I have told him time and time again that I am really exhausted and physically can't run his mom all over town, but he doesn't seem to understand and seems to think I can suck it up, slam a Red Bull and spend all day with his mom making our own soap. Literally. That is one of the things she wants to do.
Aside from just the need to vent and have my feelings VALIDATED for a change. I would like your advice on 1. Am I taking crazy pills here? Or do I have a legitimate right to be seriously irritated right now? And 2. How do I make my husband get the picture? That as the mother of a newborn, I need rest! And that maybe he can put my mental sanity above giving my mother-in-law her dream vacation.
Number Two
WHAT IN THE WHAT HELL. What's your husband's phone number? I am serious. I will call him personally to yell at him because CAPS LOCK IS NOT NEARLY SHOUTY ENOUGH.
You are absolutely 100% within your rights to feel irritated. Your husband and mother-in-law are behaving ridiculously. Downright atrociously. While I'm all for getting up and out of the house after having a baby and routinely hauled all of my newborns to a variety of germ-infested public places…I did it when I wanted to. When I felt up to it. And we're talking maybe one outing a day. Followed by a day or two spent solidly at home. And I always reserved the right to change my mind and insist that we turn the car around and go home if, say, my c-section incision was bothering me, the postpartum bleeding felt too heavy, or if our destination was too crowded, etc. etc.
And it never, ever occurred to me that anyone else in my family — at least anyone over the age of six-years old — would OBJECT to that. Or override MY objections. Or, you know, go on enjoying Oktoberfest while I sobbed quietly on a bench somewhere. "What? Her? Oh, she's just newly postpartum and wildly hormonal and utterly sleep-deprived. But I'm having fun, so whatever. I'll go buy her a Red Bull and some tissues, 'cuz I'm an awesome person."
Seriously. Shame on your husband. He's being a jerk. Your mother-in-law…well, she's being ridiculous too by treating YOUR recovery time as HER vacation, but sadly I've heard a lot of similar stories over the years about wildly different expectations re: postpartum visits and how much "help" you expect vs. what you actually get. Some family members are wonderful and show up and do laundry and change diapers and make you coffee and eggs in the morning, while others (wrongly, IMO) expect you to basically play hostess the whole time. It's why a lot of new parents institute a ban on overnight postpartum visits for a set number of weeks, or at least set limits of the duration (i.e. nothing longer than a week, or even just a weekend).
So I'm more willing to simply roll my eyes at your pain-in-the-butt MIL and rub your shoulders while reminding you that she'll be gone soon and you can plan future visits accordingly (short, and with her own rental car or public transportation map and MetroPass, have funzies out there bye!!). I'm feeling much less charitable towards your husband, who is supposed to be on YOUR SIDE and LISTENING TO YOU and HELPING YOU and ALSO NOT BEING A BIG JERK.
Do not go on another single outing with them, if you don't want to. Tell your husband that enough is enough, he is ignoring your needs and emotions and stress/anxiety levels and that is NOT OKAY. No one is going to pick you up and forcibly shove you in the car, correct? Even when you are "overruled," it still involves you giving in and putting your shoes on and packing up the diaper bag. Stop doing all of those things. "No, I'm sorry. I'm tired and I'm going to stay home and rest, end of story. This is simply too much activity for me too soon after major abdominal surgery."
If anyone argues, walk away. You don't have to listen. You DON'T HAVE TO GO. If they want to take the baby with them, godspeed. Let them figure out how much "fun" these outings are without poor ol' mom to take care of the baby. Then stay home and take a nap.
Or put your foot down about that too, if you want. Tell them the outings mean your son is getting his days and nights reversed, and since no one else is willing to help out at night when he's awake and demanding your attention and alertness, you've had enough of that, too. They can go sightseeing and restauranting and shopping or whatever they want together. Curl up in bed with your baby and a Real Housewives marathon without a single twinge of guilt or caring about what they "think" about you. Because clearly, THEY ARE NOT REALLY THINKING ABOUT YOU.
Six weeks is the minimum recommended recovery time for a c-section. MINIMUM. And there's no such minimum recovery time for your hormones and emotional well-being. That can be incredibly up and down for a lot longer. But you're so definitely right in the thick of that part, too, and deserve — DESERVE!!— to be surrounded by people who 1) understand, and 2) give a crap about you and how you feel and whether or not you SOBBED on a BENCH today.
And I'm serious. If your husband still doesn't "get it" after you go all zero-tolerance on his ass or DARES to get angry or pushy with you because you aren't doing enough to make his mommy happy, have him come talk to me. I write an advice column on the INTERNET. I have nothing to LOSE. I will tell him WHAT'S WHAT and THEN SOME.
Photo source: Michael Blann/ Thinkstock
86 Responses to "Postpartum Excursions & Outings: How Much Is Too Much?"
Alissa Oct 01 at 12:29 pm Reply
Dear Number Two – Could you please give your husband a swift, HARD, kick in the nuts for me? Because that's about all he deserves right now.
Take a nap and stop the madness. And good luck with the next week of MIL!
claire Oct 01 at 12:41 pm Reply
Seriously, give Amy his number, a recording device and let us read the transcript. Both of them are unreasonable. Good luck xxx
LMo Oct 01 at 12:47 pm Reply
Wow. You have all my sympathy. We don't have any children, but I do understand the Number One to Number Two transition. It's infuriating, and if I had a solution for you I'd share it. Instead, I will share my internet hugs, because it's the best I can do!
Rachel Anderson Oct 01 at 12:55 pm Reply
WTF?! Did your husband not HEAR the doctor when s/he talked about recovery time?!
If you're too emotional to stand up for yourself (which I totally understand–seriously i was such a wreck those first two weeks I couldn't have told anyone to do anything) you can always pull the "doctor" card. Have the pediatrician or your OB put the kibosh on this crap.
Rachel Oct 01 at 12:57 pm Reply
replying to myself–at 3 weeks post c-section are you even supposed to be going up and down stairs yet?!
Christy Oct 02 at 11:19 am Reply
Totally agree, play the doctor's advice card. Major abdominal surgery! I think my recovery period after a laparoscopic procedure was longer than that!
Tissue takes time to heal and you (they) are not allowing that healing to happen. This is medical fact, I am a veterinary nurse, but I am pretty sure tissue heals the same in a variety of species.
SarahB Oct 01 at 1:00 pm Reply
Good God.
You poor thing. In the short run, you need to stay home and rest and take care of your baby. That is it. There is no "outvoted" when you are the one recovering from major surgery. Your limits need to be respected, period. I would be tempted to ask your MIL to leave–or, at minimum, announce to DH that you and the baby will be doing your own thing for the rest of the week and that DH is responsible for feeding and addressing any of your MIL's wishes. This goes so far as to potentially set back your surgical recovery.
In the long run, you need to have a serious come to Jesus talk with your husband about why you're suddenly #2 when his mom's around. Right now he is doing serious harm to your marriage.
AmyRenee Oct 01 at 1:08 pm Reply
Here's a comparison for you – if she had come to visit after you had your appendix out and you were out on disability, would she expect you to be up and about playing hostess to you? NO! But a c-section is just as major a sugery and you need to recover. There is a REASON women as given disability pay for their first 6-8 weeks of maternity leave – because they just went through a major medical procedure and need to recover.
I'm all for being straightforward, but if you can't handle that with your MIL can you put in a call to your OB and tell them how worn out you are – I'm pretty sure they will order you to take it easier & rest. Is your MIL going to argue with doctor's orders? And if the sobbing on a bench continues even after MIL leaves, get checked out to make sure it's not something more serious than a bad case of monster-in-law
Katherine Oct 01 at 1:50 pm Reply
I second getting your OB involved. That way it's not just you being hormonal, or a party-pooper, or whatever their justification for trampling over your recovery is – it's a serious medical event that needs to be treated with respect to allow you the time to have a complete, unimpeded recovery. You deserve this, and if having your OB have a chat with your husband is what it takes, so be it.
Jen Oct 01 at 1:10 pm Reply
I'm just horrified for you, you poor thing. I'm so sorry! It's probably a little late for this, but I have found this helpful for newly post partum mamas to give to other to help them understand being a good guest is vital. Maybe you could print a copy for your MIL. http://community.babycenter.com/post/a21026385/the_lemon_clot_essay_if_you_have_people_over_after_birth.._you_need_this
Stephanie Oct 01 at 1:19 pm Reply
Oh my goodness… NO! This actually made me cry – I feel so badly for you. I had an emergency c-section 6 1/2 months ago, and it took me a good 7 weeks to be completely healed. At 3 weeks? I was still barely getting around. And also exhausted and crying from sleeplessness. I could not imagine being dragged around town with my my newborn in tow AND recovering from a c-section. Your husband needs some major talking to. This is NOT okay.
Autumn Oct 01 at 1:19 pm Reply
Oh my! You are not crazy at all! Your hubby and MIL, definitely, or just clueless.
I'm guessing your husband is back to work now, thinking it's no big deal for you to entertain MIL while on "vacation" aka "maternity leave" If you are nursing its a bit harder to hand the kid off, but I found another solution.
My hubby is a very heavy sleeper and a bit clueless and NEVER hears/heard the baby (now 13 months) cry when he was sleeping. So to help him realize how tired I was (she was about 3 weeks old then), I woke him up every time I got up with her for a week. Then woke him up again when I got back in bed. I did this for a week. No sleeping in on weekends. Woke him up, handed him a fed, clean, dressed baby, and got in the shower. Getting woken up 6 times a night, he got the picture pretty quickly.
Autumn Oct 01 at 1:23 pm Reply
The other thing I was going to add: This is good practice saying no for when your charming newborn becomes a sassy toddler.
And mean it. It took my MIL a little while, but now she knows No means No when we say it. Not maybe, or I guess so (like her other kids) but NO.
Katherine Oct 01 at 1:24 pm Reply
I had a very similar situation with my FIL after my daughter was born. My midwife said all the extra moving around pushed back my recovery, and I ended up in therapy because it was the only way to make peace and get past feeling traumatized (those hormones do a number to you).
I don't have anything productive to tell you, just sympathy to give. Hang in there, she'll leave soon.
Debra Oct 01 at 1:28 pm Reply
My mouth dropped open reading this. I'm absolutely horrified by how the OP is being treated here! What horribly selfish individuals your husband and MIL are being!
I agree; just DO NOT GO. Yes, it may suck as far as emotions and the guilt trip they might try to lay on you. JUST DON'T GO! You have GOT to take care of yourself so you can take care of your baby. All this running around so soon after a c-section is just careening towards problems.
J Oct 01 at 1:41 pm Reply
Holy AWESOME response, Amalah! Rrrrrrrrarrrr! YES!
Yes. When reason ends ass-kicking needs to begin. OP — seriously, no more miss nice wifey/daughter-in-law.
I'm not one for throwing a fit, but it is time to firmly say NO. And mean it.
Your husband should be the one telling your MIL no, but since he won't you have to tell both of them NO.
And really — you might as well start now getting good at saying NO — they both sound really selfish and inconsiderate. You will probably need to say NO a lot.
And seriously — your MIL needs a boyfriend or a babysitter or something to entertain her. 😛
Karen Oct 01 at 1:52 pm Reply
I am so sorry but congratulations on the new baby! Definitely just the circle the wagons around yourself and stay home. If it were me though, I would probably hold off on mentioning exactly why you are pissed to your husband until after his mom leaves. It's unlikely that he will just have a "Eureka!" moment and tell his mom to shove it and make her own soap. Let her go home, and in the meantime spend a few days putting together how his lack of support has affected you. get some rest and get a grip on your emotions. write down some thoughts. Then sit him down and calmly explain how hurt and angry his lack of support has made you feel. Short and sweet. I hope he comes around. Good luck.
Jess Oct 01 at 2:10 pm Reply
I too am ready to kick some MIL and husband butt. Not in that order. It took me MONTHS and MONTHS to get feeling somewhat normal after my csection. Not to mention the hormones and sleep dep. Oh the sleep dep. I'm with Amy. Plant your new mom toosh on the couch and order some chinese. And maybe a maid, because my hell… Hugs girlfriend. You are not alone and you are not unreasonable. Call the chinese food people now. Just go.
ListenMaudy Oct 01 at 2:21 pm Reply
I don't have kids, but I am furious at your husband! I agree with Amy that people are clueless, so the best you can probably do with your MIL is ignore her.
Your husband though… omg, I am so mad! You had major surgery and need to recover. If his mom wants to make soap all day, she can do it with him on one of his days off. I agree with everyone else that you need to say "No, I'm not going" and then really not go. Please take care of yourself! Don't let them guilt you into compromising your recovery. We're all behind you. You can do it!
Chelsea Oct 01 at 2:25 pm Reply
Are you having to drive you MIL around? Because my OB told me I was NOT ALLOWED to drive a vehicle for at least 6 weeks after my c-section and that if you are in an accident during that time you may not be covered by your auto insurance. Not to mention at 3 weeks out I was still in so much pain.
I'm sorry you are being terribly mistreated, I wish I could do something for you. I understand how hard it is to stand up for yourself in these situations because my MIL put me in a slightly similar situation 2 weeks after my c-section. I didn't stand up for myself and I ended up being angry for a very long time after that. I blew up at my husband and thankfully he was very apologetic and did his best to fix things. However, you might not be getting the support you need from him even after you put your foot down.
Please get help, sooner than later from professionals. Because of the c-section, the sleep deprivation (going on 6 months now), and some difficult situations I have been going through terrible postpartum depression. I am finally getting the help I need but it took so long to receive help even after I worked to get it because of things waiting lists to get into clinics. Get help now before you feel too terrible to even pick up the phone. Bad after-birth and birth and pregnancy experiences, plus crazy hormones equals postpartum depression.
I'm praying for you, and please please get professional help.
Oh my gosh, I can't even IMAGINE! (That day you described sounded unbelievably overwhelming and exhausting, even if you WEREN'T recovering from MAJOR surgery!) I think people tend to think c-sections these days are no big deal, but you know what? They took your INTERNAL organs OUT of your body! If you feel like traipsing around town after that procedure, more power to you! But I don't think I even LEFT the house on my own after my c-section until my 6 week follow-up (well, I wasn't allowed to drive until then, so that was the first time I was allowed to go out by myself … but I definitely didn't WANT to prior to that, either!) So no, don't let anyone guilt you into thinking you should be going all over town and doing crafts. You're perfectly within your rights to want to stay at home for a few weeks (or if you're me, months!) and rest, recover (both from surgery and from all the physical and emotional changes taking place), and get into a groove with your baby. Just don't go.
In fact, I bet your OB would back you up on needing to take it easier, so if I were you I'd have an email or phone conversation with my doctor, and then you can tell your husband and MIL, "The doctor says I need to get more sleep and not do so much walking. I'm sorry, but I really can't take you to make soap without jeopardizing my recovery". BOO-YAH! What can someone say to THAT without sounding horrible? Then if they want to take the baby, like Amy said, fantastic. But if not, at least you'll be at home and able to sleep when the baby sleeps. (And if the outings are reversing the baby's day/night cycle, use that as a reason you can't go, also! "Sorry, the pediatrician said it's important for the baby to sleep at night and be awake during the day, so until we get that sorted out, we can't be going on outings anymore". And then if they insist on taking the baby and messing things up, THEY have to wake up at night with the baby and let you sleep!)
First, congratulations! But OH, honey, I am SO SORRY they are treating you this way. I agree – this time period is for mama and baby to be cocooning, cuddling, bonding, resting, and recovering – and that's it! Whatever outings seem like a good time to you, go right ahead and go, but personally I had a helluva time getting out of the house during my maternity leave. Like Amy said, one outing one day, and then it'd be a couple days at home before I was up for doing it again. And I was lucky to have a totally uncomplicated delivery – with a C-section you should be doing only what's absolutely necessary, and absolutely none of what she has had you out doing qualifies! I hope your hubby pulls his head out of his ass and realizes he needs to be on your side. He'd better figure it out quick and do everything in his power to make the rest of your leave as sweet and serene as humanly possible!
Diana Oct 01 at 2:51 pm Reply
The previous commenters already made the point, but I'll repeat it. Point out to your husband and his mother that you just had abdominal surgery and this level of exertion is dangerous for you. Give them the car keys, go to bed, and tell him to bring take out for dinner.
Diana Oct 01 at 3:03 pm Reply
Also, in defense of husbands, even after three babies my husband has never really understood how ridiculously tired I am for the first few months after the baby is born. he always seems to think that as soon as I'm not pregnant I'll be back at 100% the next day, and it's just not true. They are used to you being just as energetic as they are and sometimes you just have to spell out for him how much energy you do or don't have.
SarahB Oct 01 at 3:04 pm Reply
With this many responses this fast, I hope the OP simply prints this all out, hands it to them, and says, "DH, you're in charge of hosting MIL from this point forward. I am hunkering down in the bedroom. I expect there to be food in the kitchen for me to eat whenever I come out. Otherwise, have fun."
MR Oct 01 at 3:37 pm Reply
OMG! Definitely count me in the absolutely HORRIFIED at your dh and MIL category!!!
Make your dh read this: http://babygooroo.com/2012/08/how-other-cultures-prevent-postpartum-depression/
I am so sorry! You are NOT crazy, nor selfish. They are being completely awful to you. Tell them no, and that they have to help you. ((Hugs))
Random Nennie Oct 01 at 3:43 pm Reply
I am 15 months post c-section and wouldn't even want to do all of that!!! (Really, I've been obviously healed for months. Just trying to be funny)
Really, mama. You are more than within your rights to think this is ridiculous. I feel bad for you and wish you had a supportive, understanding partner to back your up.
I saw a comment about getting your OB GYN involved. I think that is a great idea.
You deserve your rest and do things on your own terms. I really wish you the best
Jeannie Oct 01 at 4:00 pm Reply
… I was going to say that your MIL and husband are crazy, and you are not overreacting AT ALL, but I think that's been covered.
FWIW, as a comparison, I had the easiest possible birth with my second, no c-section, and there is NO WAY IN HELL I would have put up with that three weeks later. I did things on MY schedule, thankyouverymuch, or not at all. Recovering from carrying and delivering a baby is HARD.
And you, with all that AND a c-section, AND being a new parents of a newborn who has his nights and days mixed up? NO. FREAKING. WAY.
Go back to bed. Say no. If you're overly emotional, cry when you do it. It might be more effective. And show your husband, at least, all these replies. Maybe he'll get the picture. Because yes, he is Out Of Line. Completely.
Count me in as one of the horrified. As a woman who has had 4 c-sections, I will tell you. No. No, no, no. You shouldn't even be driving! Also, feel free to drop me a line and I will speak to that husband of yours. This is unacceptable. How is he going to feel when your recovery takes longer or something happens to do damage? Is he going to tell you that you should have said no? My guess is yes. So do the right thing (although I know how impossible that seems when you are so damn tired and emotional) Tell him no now. Tell him I said no.
Robin | Farewell, Stranger Oct 01 at 4:05 pm Reply
Oh my god. Unbelievable!
Honey, say no. Just say no. Damn the consequences and JUSY SAY NO.
Holy hell. I think we might share a MIL. At 4 days postpartum they were visiting and she whined that they were bored could we please go for a walk? I didn't have a c-section but my baby wrecked my insides and I couldn't walk more than 10 feet without leaking pee. Seriously, why so glamorous, motherhood? And yet, i was told to suck it up and walk.
And so I know how hard it is to put your foot down and not go. I know how you worry that your husband and MIL will think you're weak or how she'll make snarky comments about you being a lousy host. But you have to listen to your body. Not just your healing tissues but your mind also. You need physical, mental and emotional rest. Your baby needs you far more than your husband or your MIL do and so it's time to make you and baby priority 1&2 and tell 3&4 to kiss your ass. You need to make your needs known even if it steps on toes or pisses off your mil. She's a big girl, she'll deal. You have my sympathies. I hope she's gone soon and you can give your husband the lecture he deserves for being such an asshat.
Angela Oct 01 at 4:39 pm Reply
OH MY GOD. As a person without any kids, without having given birth three weeks ago, without having my MIL here… I would not be able to go out to breakfast, to the farmer's market, to two stores, and Oktoberfest in ONE DAY! Seriously! Your MIL must be the energizer bunny with some extra energy. I am so sorry you are dealing with this! I hope you can figure out a way to stay home and hang with your baby and husband rather than traipse all over creation.
Suzy Q Oct 01 at 4:44 pm Reply
Did your MIL find her son in a cabbage patch? If not, then barring adoption, she gave birth to him, either vaginally or via c-section. In that event, she should KNOW how hard it is to care for a newborn even without major surgery involved. Major surgery WHICH YOU HAD JUST THREE WEEKS AGO, OMG. A pox on her and her stupid soap-making!
Lovely lady, please take care of yourself. You are worth it, and so is your baby. Sending Internetty hugs and healing thoughts your way.
kimm Oct 01 at 4:54 pm Reply
Make a dr apt asap like today, and tell your husband he has to go with you. explain all you have been doing is making you so tired,and ask the dr's advice,in front of your husband. that all sounds just impossible to do!
AlexMMR Oct 01 at 5:02 pm Reply
What the actual fuck!? At 3 weeks, my feet were still so swollen I could hardly walk to the bathroom! This is so wrong on so many levels! My girls were hardly allowed to leave the house the first 2 months due to germs, doctors orders. And your kid is being hauled to every germ party in town? No! Just no.
Ok, since you haven't been able to take a stand on your behalf, here's some ammo to help you strengthen your just say no resolve. There's a whooping cough epidemic out there and your baby can't get the first vaccination from it until 2 months. Every time that kid is surrounded by people, he is put at risk and it's fatal to a newborn. So Mama, what's your choice? A pissed off MIL that you hardly ever see, or the possibility of a dead baby? You're going to have one or the other so make your choice and stick to it.
Delora Oct 01 at 5:04 pm Reply
Oh. My. God. I couldn't even WALK properly 3 weeks after my c-section, I can't imagine having to do a full day of errands in that condition!
I love the suggestions about involving your OB in this as a professional who will be fully in your camp. Short of getting an appointment, do you have a close friend who could come over and help you for a day while you explain to your husband that since he clearly isn't helping you at all, you needed to reach out to someone else? Because you just can't PLAY HOSTESS right now while you're newly postpartum and still recovering? Maybe a friend could help watch the baby while you nap and your husband and MIL go off and do all the touristy things she wants.
Alexia Oct 01 at 5:05 pm Reply
So I think the fact that this is NOT OKAY has been covered. I would, also, like to add myself to the list of people willing to give your husband a piece of my mind
You can attempt to explain to your husband how you're feeling but, come now ladies, let's all be honest, they're never going to truly understand. My husband has a hissu when he cuts his finger. Can you imagine your husband going through what you experienced in the last 10 months or so? I don't think so either.
You, my dear, just produced a human. A real live person… out of your body. In my opinion, that wins you the gold star prize of 'no one's opinion matters more than yours'! Seriously, I didn't have a c-section and my husband practically had to bribe me off of the couch for a walk around the block… like a week after we got home. I didn't move because I didn't feel like it, I didn't care who else gave a rat's patoot, and my baby wasn't going anywhere I didn't feel was not icky germ infested.
I'm happy to be the bad/mean person. Tell your DH and MIL that I said you're not allowed to do anything other than sleep, cuddle in bed with your little bug, relax, eat whatever food appeals to you, and watch lots and lots of on demand TV. No loud noises, interruptions or whining will be tolerated!
Liz Oct 01 at 5:24 pm Reply
UNBELIEVABLE. I couldn't even urinate on my own 3 weeks post-C-section! Your situation would be inexcusable even if you had a vaginal birth that was a breeze….but absolutely NO after a C-section!
Sadly, I am reading a deeper issue here, of your husband putting you second after his mother. That is NOT ok, and will ripple into every aspect of your life and parenting, well, forever. Please, after you have bounced back a bit more, encourage him to attend couple's counseling with you, to gain some perspective on your role as wife and mother, and how you and baby need to be #1 from this point forward.
Beth Oct 01 at 5:25 pm Reply
Just. Say. No. And if they still won't listen, you go right ahead and lock yourself in the bedroom… there's no where to lie down and watch tv in the bathroom. Seriously. I am 4 months out from an uncomplicated, good drugs laced, vaginal delivery and going to the grocery store is a major accomplishment in my opinion.
Better yet, just don't get dressed and hand her a shopping list and say "while YOU'RE out… Thaaaaanks!"
Becky Oct 02 at 10:35 am Reply
What she said! This is such a crazy time when life is flip flopped and sleep is screwy…figure out the fallout later, but for now I agree with Beth!
Danielle Oct 01 at 5:34 pm Reply
I imagine that saying "no" feels like it will be hard. I imagine you worry about how they'll react, and that you'll be made into the bad guy. Do NOT let them turn their abusive, selfish, damaging behavior around on you.
We're not talking about something you just don't "feel" like doing. You just had MAJOR abdominal surgery, and can VERY SERIOUSLY hurt yourself by doing so much. You have to take care of yourself, so you can take care of your baby. You need to find that inner mama bear to protect you and your little one before you hurt yourself further, or at least slow your recovery, which will in turn HURT YOUR BABY!
I agree with involving your OB and Pediatrician. Have them talk to your husband. Have them lay down the law.
You have to act now. Otherwise, your failure to set and enforce healthy boundaries is only ensuring you'll continue to be treated like this in the future. They aren't going to figure it out on their own.
Ash Oct 01 at 6:06 pm Reply
Wait… If your up all day with your MIL, and up all night with your newborn.. When do YOU get some rest?! That is the only thing that is important right now, and your hubby and MIL need a stern telling off! That's just not fair.
What the hell is WRONG with people? I am so sorry that you're being guilted into playing hostess and that your husband isn't on your team right now. Say no with zero guilt and think of this as training for all the times you are going to have to stand your ground when it comes to you and your child in the future. Get your doc involved if necessary and definitely show your husband this letter, Amalah's advice, and the dozens of strangers who are supporting you. Good luck and hopefully you can start to enjoy your time with your wee one soon!
Susie Oct 02 at 1:25 am Reply
Additional HELL NO with an added slice of KickAss. You just give Amalah his number. She'll do the rest.
Jessica Oct 02 at 1:54 am Reply
WTH?! I could barely make it up the stairs on my own 3 weeks after my own csection. I was in a similar situation, although my MIL lived in town in her own place thank god. But too many visitors, and too many outings caused my incision to come open and become horribly painfully infected. Two weeks of antibiotics and 5 weeks of packing gauze into the wound later, I realized I should have said no. Seriously, go lay down!
Jessica Oct 02 at 2:32 am Reply
This makes me want to throw a hissy fit for you. I really really want to take all of my 8 months pregnant stress, anxiety and general level of uncomfortableness and channel it all into one screaming torrent of rage on your behalf. I promise to cover the fetus' ears as I do so.
WTF???? Soap???? Octoberfest? That's absurd. Crying at Octoberfest should only be tears of joy at the vast array of beer and sausages.
How about some starter sentences:
"My incision is really hurting today, can you please go and get the baby from the crib? I can't get up. It must be from all the movement."
"I'm sorry, I really am, but I can't seem to get out of bed without feeling like my stitches are going to tear."
"I've made an appt with the Ob/gyn since I feel like something isn't right, it's at 11am today, can you please drive me there? She said I absolutely should not drive until I get it checked out." (this should ideally coincide with soap making day, which I still can't get over)
BTW, that lemon clot essay is amazing. And gross. Ew, that's going to happen for real?
AmyRenee Oct 05 at 9:21 am Reply
Yup, thats very likely going to happen for real. Here's what I learned after I was too spineless with my first son and the instructions I gave my husband for my second: 1) I want to be able to nurse my baby in my own living room. When I say "I need to feed the baby now" you have 15 minutes to get any and all people out of my sight. I wll not allow you to banish me to the bedroom bored out of my mind for hours at a time while you entertain our families in the living room. 2) If the baby is sleeping and we have people over, I'm going to go take a shower or a nap. Make my excuses for me or tell them to leave, but I'm not going to sit around making small talk and play hostess.
My parents and my in-laws and extended family all live near us and tend to "drop by" whenever they want. This is fine, but I'm not going to play hostess to them. If they don't understand that, i don't want them in my house.
Jamie Oct 28 at 9:30 am Reply
These are great!
I hope that by now things are going better for you, I think my MIL is much more sensitive than yours, but still dread visits.
Wow. Your husband and mother in law are being really insensitive to your needs as a new mom. I don't see why your forced to go places. You can't respectfully decline saying you'd rather stay home with the baby??? Or even better let them take the baby out with them while you stay home and get some rest. Do whatever you gotta do. Quote the pediatrician or even your OB who should have given you specific instruction to stay off of your feet so your incision can heal. Practice getting your fiercely protective mama grizzly on!!! If they still don't get it, when the baby wakes up at night ask your mil or duh to take the baby after you nurse so you can get some sleep. Good luck mama!
Lisa Oct 02 at 9:04 am Reply
Please know that every sane person would fully support your feelings…. Your husband is not thinking clearly and completely does not understand. I can't even talk about your MIL.
YOU ARE THE MOM and YOUR INSTINCTS on what is right for you and the baby ARE CORRECT! There is a reason you have those instincts and those instincts are what helped humanity survive for 200,000 years. TRUST what you know to be right. 😉 Best wishes! p.s. Jessica's comments above are great–USE THEM!
Becky Oct 02 at 10:33 am Reply
Starting now, your priorities are you and your baby: Eat, Sleep, (bathe if you can), and rest. Draw a little circle with those basic things you NEED right now and that is what you are in charge of. EVERYTHING else is on someone else, and you don't have to explain this to them. Just don't do them.
When they say, "hi we are going to the farmer's market", you say, "Have a great time! I'll be staying here catching up on sleep."
Dishes? Left in sink. Let them pile up. Thank whomever does them.
Dinner? Husband can cook, grocery shop and order. Write a list. Say thanks when they bring you dinner in bed.
Mother in law makes comments? Leave the room and go back to bed to watch bad TV and snuggle with that cuddly new baby.
Just. Don't do it. Don't explain. Your job isn't to host or feel like you HAVE to do anything! They'll follow your lead (eventually) but you owe it to your baby and yourself to get healthy….
Katherine Oct 02 at 10:44 am Reply
This makes me so angry. I cannot even express how angry this makes me (other than I am willing to drive to wherever you are, kick your husband's ass out of the house with his mommy, then lock the door, make you freezer meals for several weeks and do your laundry. BECAUSE THAT IS HOW YOU TREAT NEW MOMS, ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAD MAJOR SURGERY!)
You need to tell your husband that if does not start putting his family (you and your child together) first, that he's not going to have a family anymore. That is just absolutely unacceptable. And do not let him or her tell you that you are just hormonal (you are, but they are still being assholes and no self respecting person would just accept that behavior. Your hormones and exhaustion are probably why you've been giving in, instead of standing up for yourself).
If you want to be nice and avoid conflict, you could use some of the things suggested above, but if you want to get your point across you could just say "No, I just had my stomach and uterus cut open in a major surgical procedure three weeks ago, I will not be going anywhere today." If they argue with you, just ignore them (because you should already be in bed with the remote, a book, your baby, some food, and a beverage). And don't let them take the baby unless you want them to take the baby – if you want the baby to stay with you so you can nurse and bond and snuggle, then they can go enjoy MIL's vacation by themselves.
Sharon Oct 02 at 11:50 am Reply
I second (or third, I forget) the advice to call your OB! She (or he) will be horrified at the level of exertion you are being forced to make. My OB would have hauled my husband's ass to her office for a serious talking-to about rest and recovery and respect and etc. Your heath, both present and future, both physical and mental, is on the line here. No one – particularly not those who purport to care for you – should be playing around with that.
So (1) congrats on that adorable sweet baby, (2) you are not at all overreacting and (3) make someone else. like your OB, the bad cop who will smack some sense into these thoughtless people. Also (4) it is not only bad for you, it is bad for your baby – firstly because hell, babies need rest and quiet, and secondly because an unhappy mama is the worst thing for a child of any age.
Please let us know how you make out!! Y'know, after you get some rest…
bethany actually Oct 02 at 12:42 pm Reply
I rarely comment here, but I had to chime in on this one to say I agree with Amy 100%. Your MIL and husband are recklessly disregarding your health in pressuring you to go on all these outings when you're only a few weeks post-C-section, and especially when you're PROTESTING that you don't want to go.
Be polite, but firm. Just say no! They are welcome to go have fun without you. It will probably be more restful for you and your baby boy to have the house to yourself for a few hours, anyway!
JenVegas Oct 02 at 12:51 pm Reply
Yes what Amy said 100% I am so sorry that your husband and M-I-L are oblivious to standards of human decency. Shoo them out of the house, let your hormones fly and have a good cry, that usually scares my husband right off. God. I am already cranky today and this whole situation made me super mad on your behalf. I'm pretty sure we'll ALL volunteer to tell your husband to F Off with all of this mess if you need us to.
Congratulations on the birth of your baby!
I am spluttering – SPLUTTERING – with rage on your behalf, you poor dear thing. I have three children; the youngest is 9 months old. And there is NO WAY IN HELL I would be able to keep up with that kind of frantic activity level with *my* baby and lots of experience, let alone as recovering mom of a three week old.
You are not crazy. Not even. Your MIL is a thoughtless, selfish, irresponsible person and your husband… well. I realize that he is the father of your child so I'll refrain from calling him too many names, but he has a pile of growing up to do in a fast hurry. He's acting like someone's child instead of someone's father, and he should bloody well be ashamed of himself.
Please, trust yourself and your instincts. Lock yourself in your bedroom and bond with that wee babe if that's what it takes. And let us know how you are doing.
Courtney Oct 02 at 2:38 pm Reply
Oh sweetie! I had to do this, too. My husband thought our lives would stay exactly the same and tried to get me to bring the baby out every night after my c-section. Ha. Not happening. Do what Amy said. Just tell them to go alone and that the baby only goes where you go. If they still give you crap about it or get upset, go with them, but make it as difficult as possible. And then when the baby is up all night…guess who's bedroom light will suddenly. magically. be on. every time I have to get up? You got it. Oh sorry MIL…i just have to grab the extra diapers in your closet. Also, I really need that sling we stored under your bed. Excuse me…sorry for waking you up, but the baby really likes to lay on the pillow you're using. May I have it? I know…it's suckes being up so much at night. If only we could stay home so he wouldn't sleep so much during the day.
Good luck dear! Hope you figure this out…and it will get better and easier. One day, you will look at yourself and be all "Damn! Look at me and what i'm doing! Good job, self!"
tasterspoon Oct 03 at 4:34 pm Reply
Ha, I totally wouldn't have the balls to do this but the passive aggressive approach is right up my alley.
Olivia Oct 02 at 3:06 pm Reply
No advice, just a holy hell you have every right to be pissed! With both our babies my husband wanted to take my parents sight seeing when they came to visit, and we did make one long day trip after my first, but that was it. Fortunately, my mother was always very clear that she was there to see the grandchildren and there was no need to do anything.
Linnea Oct 02 at 3:21 pm Reply
Long time reader, first time commenter, because… WTH??!! Amen to everything Amalah said. AND – can we please get an update on this one?? Dying to hear how this will be resolved.
Liz B Oct 02 at 4:06 pm Reply
Amy is 100% right as usual. Just another thought…what is your mom like? Is she around? If you're not feeling emotionally up to standing up for yourself (which I understand a billion percent), maybe there's a third party (even a best friend or sister) who could step in, come over during the day and run interference on this ridiculous situation that you absolutely should not have to deal with. Your mom could sweep in and say "No way! My girl needs her rest. Don't you remember what it was like to have your first baby?"
Good luck. Much love sent your way.
Laura Oct 02 at 4:25 pm Reply
What???!!! I'm so sorry that they're putting you through this. At 3 weeks after an easy birth with my second (so relatively experienced) I would maybe go out if I felt like it but otherwise I was enjoying snuggling with the baby on the couch most of the day. When my mother or MIL came over they helped with dishes, cooking, errands and sometimes baby care (although really, I found the biggest help is with all the other stuff so you can sleep and take care of baby). Your husband and MIL have things horribly wrong and I really hope you're able to stand up for yourself and your baby.
Hannah Oct 02 at 8:37 pm Reply
I have also been told that driving so soon after giving birth natural or c-section is NOT okay. So, for insurance and medical purposes, you should use that as reason #1. Is the point of your MIL's visit a vacation or to see the baby? If its a vacation, then let her go out on her own – call a cab, have your husband play driver. Speaking of your husband, WTH is he thinking? Get the nurse on the phone, or drag him with you back to the dr and have her/him re-explain the whole recovery time thing to your husband. Break it down for him in boy terms, if you're not allowed to have sex for 6 weeks, then you can't be expected to go gallivanting all over town so soon after MAJOR surgery.
camie Oct 03 at 1:43 am Reply
I agree with Liz B. I feel like you need an advocate. Its hard to speak up when you're so drained. A friend, mom, or even a nurse could help intervene and speak up for you. Your husband should put you and his son first. So sorry you feel alone. You have a lot of readers here sympathizing, validating, and wishing they could come to your aid! Best wishes.
nancy Oct 03 at 9:23 am Reply
Wow, and I thought MY husband was bad after my son was born. He pushed me to go out when I wasn't ready, but it was to the park across the street, or to the bagel place down the road for a brunch. And when THAT was too much, we ended up talking to a counselor. Once a professional was talking to him about what I needed post c-section, he understood that I wasn't just being lazy or anti-social (in his family, they consider going for a run treatment for being sick just to give you an idea of his mindset). Definitely, as a new mom, get someone with a degree to talk to him in clear, clinical terms. It is hard to advocate for yourself when you are that exhausted and emotional – that's when you tend to get emotional instead of reasonable/logical when you really need to make a point!
S Oct 03 at 2:35 pm Reply
I never comment but felt compelled to today. I find it hard to stand up to my overbearing (at times) MIL but at this post partum period, you must. I have repercussions from my first c-section that perhaps would not have happened had I taken better care of myself. Don't cause yourself irreversible damage like I did because I was too hesitant to ask for help. Your baby deserves a happy, healthy, strong mommy. Take care of yourself for his sake, if nothing else.
tasterspoon Oct 03 at 4:55 pm Reply
I had a vaginal delivery two weeks ago, and today is a big deal because it's my first chance to GET ON THE COMPUTER. You have been a hero and a saint.
I like the ideas of calling in a third party authority, whether it's your mom or your OB or a shrink, since it sounds like you're bending over backward to be accommodating beyond all reason and in a really self destructive way. You can pass on the "need to rest" message softly that way, by saying, "Oh, I'd love to make soap, but Dr. Z has instructed me to stay off my feet." Maybe they're not taking your recovery seriously because you have gone along with their shenanigans thus far.
Try reminding them in subtle ways. For example, I ask my husband to carry the car seat or the groceries (even though I could), just to keep him aware that I'm NOT back to 100% yet. And I gripe constantly about being tired, comment at every feed how much breastfeeding hurts, and report on all the diapers I've been changing. I do it in a good-natured way because I'm not trying to play the martyr, but I don't want anybody thinking I'm on vacation, either, just because I'm burning a hole in the couch.
Or you can try some mental judo by 'confiding' in the MIL, woman to woman, that you need *her* help talking to your husband, because he seems to think you can do all these activities when, of course, she must remember when she had a baby/ last had major surgery, it's a really bad idea for both you and the baby, and can she help you talk to your husband about it because he just doesn't understand?
Kaela Oct 04 at 10:35 am Reply
This advice is almost moot at this point, but maybe for the next time around, or if you have a similar type of guest coming soon. A lot of people mentioned sending your husband out with his MIL all day…maybe it's just me, but I would have been really annoyed if my husband spent his precious leave time/weekends taking care of anyone but me and the baby in those first few weeks. Not only does he miss out on bonding and enjoying the newborn phase (which will be gone in a blink) but you NEED someone around to help you after a c-section. Who's making you lunch? Cleaning up the 8,000 diaper blowout/spit up? Taking out the trash? Holding the baby while you take a nap? Seriously, it is not selfishness to expect his undivided attention right now. MIL will be back for many visits in the future when you can treat her like a proper house guest. Right after becoming new parents is not the time.
-k- Oct 05 at 2:50 pm Reply
YES YES YES @ subtle reminders. I'm 2.5 weeks out and am locked in an epic battle with my own desire to do the dishes. It's too easy for the other parent to not get it, both because they're not experiencing it (pregnancy replay, anyone?) and because things *look* more or less normal.
If on-demand feedings and hours of trying to intuit the needs of a screeching infant were a vacation, there would be resorts for that.
(There aren't.)
Jennifer Oct 04 at 11:19 am Reply
Compared to most of these stories I guess I had an easy recovery from my c-section. When my daughter was 10 days old we went to the State Fair for a couple days and I walked around carrying her in a sling – BUT! I felt up to it, I didn't go very fast or very far, and my parents camp there with a camper, so a nice place to rest and I got to take naps, and I WANTED to go. If my husband had tried to drag me around all over the Fair all week with no naps and the baby not sleeping at night, and I didn't want to be dragged around, oh HELL NO! Even as good as I felt I would not be wanting to push it or to stress my baby with all that nonsense, and anyone who doesn't get that needs a swift kick in the behind. My Aunt has been an L&D nurse for over 30 years and she was at Fair when we were, she was fine with me being up and around and doing what I was doing, but she stressed to me over and over DO NOT PUSH YOURSELF, if you feel tired or sore or any of that, stop, sit or lay down, and take a relax for awhile.
Do what you need to do get this stopped. If he won't listen to you, call your Dr, make an appointment, drag him down there and have him listen to him/her explain how DANGEROUS this can be for both you and the baby. If he won't go 'just because' start with the 'my incision hurts, no its not the normal soreness, it doesn't feel right, I think something is wrong, etc'. Above all, do NOT feel bad about putting your foot down and saying NO to anymore outings. At this point what they think does not matter, and if you do end up doing damage to yourself or the baby gets sick,who's going to be dealing with that? YOU, exactly. So ENOUGH!
Amy Oct 04 at 2:07 pm Reply
OP, you are not at all unreasonable for not wanting to traipse all over creation with your child. I did too much post-c-section out of necessity and ended up with complications to my incision, which set my recovery back weeks. Please take care of yourself and your baby.
Oh. My. God.
You are one seriously strong and brave and FAR TOO NICE of a woman.
I just cannot even imagine, in my head, dealing with my husband and MIL acting this way 3 weeks after having a baby. I would not put up with this from either of them 3 MONTHS AFTER HAVING A BABY.
You haveto haveto haveto give Amy his phone number. Or show him this page.
I've never posted a comment here before. But this is completely unacceptable and beyond that, damaging to your health.
Please just stop. Rest. It's okay to say no.
And congrats on the baby boy! (:
(Sorry if this was too caps-locky. I think I just threw a tantrum on your behalf)
Rose Marie Oct 04 at 9:39 pm Reply
I started reading Advice Smackdown when I was about five days postpartum. My daughter is now ten months, but oh how vividly I remember not only the exhaustion but also being completely overwhelmed by taking care of a new baby. While I had trouble rolling over in bed or walking down the block post c-section. This is the first time I've felt compelled to comment, and I'm going to echo everyone else here, but it needs to be said: You deserve rest and for other people to take care of you. Show your husband Amy's response if you need to. And don't get in the car. There may be some fall out, but you deserve to take care of yourself, especially if they wont take care of you. Good luck!
Jess Oct 05 at 9:05 am Reply
Nothing to be added, except I do need an update on this! Have never commented before, but this story made me so FURIOUS that I had to check back.
I seriously hope you, LW, found a way to involve a third party or get your well-deserved rest another way. This is a very clear case of no, it's not you, it's the others that are fucking mad.
Stephanie Oct 05 at 5:54 pm Reply
I must agree with earlier commenters who suggested some kind of therapy for you and your husband. I am absolutely dumbfounded by his utter lack of support for you, his WIFE AND THE MOTHER OF HIS CHILD! It does not bode well for the future of your marriage. If my husband put me second to anyone (except for our kids), I'd probably dream of ways to kill him in his sleep.
I also think that getting your OB involved is a great idea. I know that mine would have fiercely backed me up if I had been dealing with this kind of situation.
I know that it's hard sometimes to stand up to strong personalities, I used to be very shy. But one great thing I've gained from being a mother is the wonderful liberation from giving a shit what anyone else thinks or says. I was so busy taking care of my baby and her needs that I stopped having time or energy to care if someone didn't agree with me. (For the most part–I'm not as bad-ass as I'm making it sound, but I have no problem being the bad guy when it comes to sticking up for myself or my kids.)
I hope you are able to find a way to get the rest and the help you need, for your sake, and for your baby's sake, too.
AmyH Oct 05 at 6:58 pm Reply
I'm three and a half weeks post partum and this letter made me weep. I want to punch your MIL and your husband and then go hug my MIL who stayed for a week and kept cooking me meals and telling me to nap.
My heart aches for you. I had a vaginal delivery and I still feel like I got hit by a truck. I really hope you feel better soon
Mrs. Q. Oct 05 at 9:51 pm Reply
Holy lord!! You poor woman! That is awful, but it's a useful lesson that will help you as you face the toddler years and not-always-adorable parenting moments. When you say no, mean it. Then walk away.
mm Oct 10 at 6:57 am Reply
i actually think every expectant mother (and their families!) should be made to read THIS ARTICLE about resting after the birth. really, it is worth it. make your husband read it.
jennifer Oct 09 at 7:59 pm Reply
Husbands can be extremely retarded and don't understand pain and recovery at all. My husband was trying to tell me we were going on a 4 hour road trip to visit his mother in virginia 3 weeks after i give birth! I looked at him like he lost his damn mind! He felt offended as if i was being anti social and didn't want to see his mother for thanksgiving, completely ignorant and ignoring the fact that I'll be bleeding perfusely out of my vagina or healing from a c section, ALSO, nursing a brand new baby!
My advice is don't budge at all! Be serious about your NO's and let him deal with it, he'll get over it, and you'll be happy that you stood up for your body and what you know it needs, as well as your baby. I'm sorry but during postpardum weeks, as a mom already aware of what it entails, everyone else can got shove it!
first time mom Oct 30 at 8:35 pm Reply
I can honestly say you are being too too nice. I use to be the same when i was pregnant, literally went the extra mile for in laws n kept hubby happy too…BUT when i ended up becoming extremely tired n stressed out i had a c-section n baby came prem 6weeks. I decided enough is enough.. u gotta be selfish in this world. U gotta think about number 1 and ur newborn. If u get tired n sleep deprived its only gonna effect you n the baby! So putting ur foot down n saying NO is way better than pleasing anyone! I have n believe me it only gets easier! If your not up to it just say NO! Then u can enjoy ur baby, ur sleep n being a first time mama! Look#after#no.1# girl!!! Xxx
first time mom Oct 30 at 8:37 pm Reply
Well sed jennifer!!!! Love it
Dec 16
[…] and a busy blogger for amalah.com, mamapop, and alphamom among others. In addition to writing about realistic post-partum outings, she also said she liked our book once in her cool pregnancy countdown. I love what she shared in […]


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I know i worry a lot but this is my first baby!
For about a week an a half now ive had this pressure, not in my abdomen but id say more by my cervix, and a constant lower back pain.I called the dr about the pressure and he said it just means im too active to make sure im staying in bed. Well a week and a half later I'm 15 weeks today, and i still have this pressure. I do not know what labor feels like, but this pressure is just plain uncomfortable. My family just acts like im crazy, but i do not feel its normal. Has anyone else had this problem, or know what could be going on?
Posted: 08/17/2010 by jazzyjaysson
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it could be something as simple as a UTI. I had a pressure like that recently and it ended up being a bladder infection. being pregnant u are alot more prone to infections. u could get a bladder infection and not even know it. its completely diff than if u got it not preg. GOOD LUCK! i hope all is well with uposted 08/17/2010 by melindaSS
I also had placenta previa when i had my 2nd child and it didn't go away it was so uncomfortable i couldn't even walk it was awful but you need to be very careful and stay on bed rest because you could have many complications i never realized how serious it was even after being in the the hospital for spotting and early contractions then my placenta broke away from my wall and i had an emergency c-section at 31 weeks my baby was only 3 pounds he very healthy and happy now but it was scary so take it serious and don't let know one tell you that you worry to much or that your crazy cause they don't know how we feel unless you have had this problem or have this problemposted 08/25/2010 by a BabyCenter Member
I also have placenta Previa, just partial, and around the early second trimester I felt the same kind of pressure, but as I got further along it seems that It got better. I'm just finishing my second trimester now and haven't felt the pressure in a few weeks so It might just be the previa and hopefully yours will go away too I know that it was uncomfortable.posted 08/25/2010 by cassiem84
I had pains like this at 12 weeks and ended up doing an ultra sound. They said it was because my kidneys were moving upwards quickly. I am a small person and there is not anywhere for things to go. Maybe you should ask for a U soundposted 08/19/2010 by McKenna8
i'm new to the game. i have had a miscarriage before so i just want to make sure i carry this pregnancy to full term.i'm gettign bigger quite fast but i dont really have an appetite though so am getting worried. at some point i thought i must be having twins. i have my doctor's appointment tomorrow so we'll see what he has to say.posted 08/18/2010 by sexymamacharly
U just git off meds for a uti
Thank you! I sure hope it goes away!
You are not crazy and the placenta previa is most likely contributing to this feelings. Your placenta is lying low or in your case covering the cervix, thus you feel pressure. I remember feeling this when I was pregnant and yes I was uncomfortable. I recommend taking a bath for some comfort, AND definitely listen to your doctor about taking it easy. Also, placenta previa is not as big of a concern at this stage in the pregnancy because the baby has a tendency to push up on the placenta as he or she gets bigger. I had partial placenta previa at 16 weeks and by 22 weeks it was completely gone. The sonogram tech told me that it was completely normal. Hope this helps, and it is completely normal to worry about each and every thing....I sure did.posted 08/17/2010 by too2bedazzled
I have a scheduled pelvic exam on monday, and also i have a complete placenta previa(forgot to add that)
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WTF!?!?!!Wats wit the girls having Dicks!?!?!?!Dude thats so lame but thn the girls are stil l hawt.But uhhhhhhhhhh yuck!


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It's time to get creative when it comes to budgeting. Instead of listing the pros and cons and then explaining how to go about creating one, I'm going to experiment a bit here. I'm breaking it down into steps, like a recipe. Here's my attempt at creativity (or a new perspective on budgeting):
A Yummy Budget Recipe
- Light that fire under your butt and Pre-heat your bank account
- What are you spending? Do you even know? Look at one month's worth of spending and add it up.
- How much do you make? Add up all your income.
- Add a pinch of calculations
- Now that you know how much you spend and earn, what's the difference? (This is second grade math, people.)
- The total is what you have left over.
- Dice the expenses
- Did you find that not much is left over at the end of each month?
- Time to dice up the expenses and reduce them to less than your income.
- Add a splash of savings
- Now that you have something left over, automatically deposit it into savings.
- Bake the budget for 3 months
- Reevaluate your expenses and income (or budget) after 3 months.
- Are you on track? Are you saving more now? Fix it if need be.
- Serve with humble pie
- Now that you've calculated income and expenses, you have an idea of what's a "need" and what's a "want."
- Stick to what's a "need" and an occasional "want."
So my recipe isn't an exact science, but neither is a budget. The bottom line is spend less than you earn, no matter how you get there!
How do you budget?
16 Comments
Join the conversation and post a comment.
Grady Pruitt
Love this recipe!
While dicing up the expenses, make sure you see where you may be "wasting" money! Late fees, overdraft fees, and bounced check fees can really add up!
Miss T @ Prairie Eco-Thrifter
What a clever post. I really enjoyed it. I think this should be put on everyone's fridge. I hate the needs and wants conversation though- it is always so tough. No one likes limitations right?!
Very creative LH! But unlike food, the more you do this, the (financially) healthier you get!
Denise @ The Single Saver
Very creative! I like it! But I think instead of a splash of savings I'll try it with a 'heaping scoop' of savings, instead. 🙂
You definitely make saving money sound yummy! Seriously though, what a great way to list money saving and budgeting tips in an eyecatching way and reinforce the concept of spending less and saving more. There are always ways to trim expenses, including those little treats we get from the local coffeehouse or the $1 section of our favorite store. Really enjoyed reading your post.
- Little House in the Valley - Home Designs, Plans, and Ideas for Smaller Living - […] while ago, I thought of a clever idea; write up the steps to a budget like a recipe. I…


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A six-year-old boy is dead after drowning in a reservoir behind his Colorado Springs apartment complex.
Police say Michael Oxford walked to the reservoir yesterday to play with three other children, all of whom were younger than seven.
The boy was found about 1-30 p-m floating face down in the pond, which is about the size of a football field on the southeast edge of Memorial Gardens Cemetery.
Michael was pronounced dead less than an hour later.
Sergeant Jim Rodgers says there was no adult supervision at the time, and the drowning appears to be an accident.
The children told police they were near the bank dangling their feet in the water when Michael apparently slipped and fell in. The children ran to get adults, who pulled Michael from the water.
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text:
Travel & Local
by LYSESOFT
Developer Notes
WorldWideTime Pro unlocks advanced features of WorldWideTime free. Pro version displays widgets with local time for more than 2200 cities in 234 countries all around the world. More cities can be added upon request. UTC (Zulu Time) widget is also available. WorldWideTime Pro requires...


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Many people ditched their cars and grabbed the bus Thursday in part of the national "Dump the Pump" event.
With high gas prices this summer, Pueblo Transit says they're encouraging people to take advantage of public transportation and save money. According to the latest transit savings report, individuals in a two-person household can save an average of more than $10,000 a year just by downsizing to one car. Local transit officials say riding the bus is a convenient way to get around town.
"We want people to know about Pueblo Transit and the fact that we have bus service that we can take you just about anywhere within the city. It takes you a little bit more time, but at a dollar a ride we feel that's a pretty good deal," Pat Manzanares, Pueblo Transit Operations Supervisor said.
City administration and Pueblo transit staff offered refreshments throughout the day. Pueblo transit runs Monday through Saturday from 6 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. All kids 18 years old and younger ride free this summer.
KKTV firmly believes in freedom of speech for all and we are happy to provide this forum for the community to share opinions and facts. We ask that commenters keep it clean, keep it truthful, stay on topic and be responsible. Comments left here do not necessarily represent the viewpoint of KKTV 11 News.
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01 January 2011Foreign Office Minister Jeremy Browne condemns attacks.
Foreign Office minister Jeremy Browne said:
"Following the earlier incidents in Jos and Maidugari over the Christmas period, I am shocked and saddened to learn of the bomb attack in Abuja on New Year's Eve.
I condemn this incident and the loss of innocent lives and send the UK's condolences to the victims and their families. Every effort should be made to bring the perpetrators to justice."


text:
Site can be best viewed in new Browser Version. Click here to Download Internet Explorer 9
Eighty-two students were conferred medicine and nursing degrees in the graduation ceremony held on January 20, 2010 at the Aga Khan Pavilion, Nairobi.
Twelve students received a Master of Medicine with specialties in Anaesthesiology, Anatomic Pathology, Clinical Pathology, General Surgery, Imaging & Diagnostic Radiology and Internal Medicine.
The Advanced Nursing School graduated 70 students, of which 46 received a Bachelor of Science in Nursing and 24 students were awarded the Kenya Registered Community Health Nursing Diploma.
The chief guest was His Excellency, Hon. Kalonzo Musyoka, E.G.H., M.P. Vice President of the Republic of Kenya and Minister for Home Affairs.


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Puppy Manners
This class is six weeks of puppy fun! Puppies will learn general manners such as sit, down, coming when called, and playing nicely with others. We will also answer important questions such as, "How do I housetrain my puppy?", "How do I get my puppy to stop chewing on the couch?", and "How do I teach my puppy not to jump on people?" Puppy class is the most important class your dog will ever attend.
Frequency & Duration: 1 hour per week for 6 weeks (1st class is a mandatory Puppy Parent Orientation for people only)
Class includes: Handbook, homework, and Certificate of Completion
Fees: $200 (if your dog was adopted from a shelter or 501©3rescue group, the fee is $170; please show adoption paperwork to receive the discount)
Class capacity: 8-10
Location: 243 Alabama Street
Course prerequisites: Puppies must be under 16 weeks of age at the start of the first class (no exceptions) and have received their first 2 DHLPP vaccinations and a wellness check by a veterinarian. If your puppy is over 16 weeks of age, please look at either Just the Basics or Just the Small Basics classes.
Training Annex
San Francisco, CA 94103
United States
Email: email@example.com
|Class Fee
|Full Fee
|$ 200.00
|Discounted Fee
|$ 170.00


text:
In pictures: 26 beautiful bokeh photos
'Bokeh' is taken from the Japense word meaning 'blur' or 'haze'. It refers to the aesthetic quality of a blur in photographs and has become a popular and desirable effect.
If you want to know how to create a bokeh in your photos, our tutorial, Make the Ultimate Bokeh Portrait, will teach you everything you need to know.
In the meantime, we've hand-picked 26 great examples of bokeh photography to inspire you.
Danielle © Taylor McCutchan
The Cloud and the Bee © Alain Baumgarten
Stalk © Lee Peiling
Fairy Light © Bloas Meven
Fumando Espera © Carlos Bull
Veronika © александр кульков
La Consetallation du Champignon © Bloas Meven
Where are you go © Suta Wijaya
Sick Fearless Bastard © Crazy Ivory
Snowy Street © Miles Storey
In the Red Forest © Anna Theodora
Life as it is © Sortvind
Fraicheur Matinale © Bloas Meven
Sunday Coffee © Jozef Vaclavik
Tempus Vernum © Alexander Kuzmin
Swamp Life © Matt Estrada
Prevalent © Caroline Zenker
Proof © Cynthia Zulla
Fetiche © Roberuto
Night Bike Cowboys © Manuel Orero
Melbourne 2009 © Zdravko Horvat
In Autumn all cats aren't grey © Romain Mattei
Bokeh by the Water © Shahriar Erfanian
Natural Feelings © Sortvind
Feeling inspired to try out this effect yourself? Read our tutorial, Make the Ultimate Bokeh Portrait.
The 10 Commandments of Landscape Photography (and how to break them)
44 essential digital camera tips and tricks
Famous Photographers: 225 tips to inspire you
50 photography tips from jobbing pros to famous photographers


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- Inhabitat – Green Design, Innovation, Architecture, Green Building - http://inhabitat.com -
Your Analog TV is Dead, Repurpose it into Something Fun!
Posted By Jorge Chapa On June 24, 2009 @ 2:00 pm In Innovation,Recycled Materials | 4 Comments
Last week, millions of TV sets became obsolete, all due to the switch from analog to digital television [2]. So, what does an eco-minded individual do with an old, ugly, lead and toxin filled box? Well, throwing it away is not an option! You could always recycle your old television [3] — but that doesn't quite do the trick, does it? What is a true green geek to do? Thanks to Make Magazine [4], we now have a few, very clever ideas for repurposing your defunct boob tube [4].
The sky's the limit when it comes to transforming your old set into a useful item. Give your cat the limelight it wants and deserves and make a cat bed out of your old TV [5]. Or make a fish tank [6] out of it and watch real fish swim instead of buying one of those aquarium ambiance DVD's. Make some spooky Halloween art [7], use it as a coffee table, do science experiments with it [8], give it to a prop shop, turn it into a swanky mini bar [9]! These are just a few of the many possibilities that Make Magazine [4] suggests for giving your old TV a new life. You may also consider making your old set into this awesome Love Letter box [10] we spotted at AlpineButterfly [11].
Whatever you do, safety comes first. Televisions can get hot, are somewhat toxic, and you can hurt yourself converting this trash into a new treasure. Once you've developed your masterpiece, write a blog post about it and share it with the world. Or send us some pics, and we can help you showcase it! If you don't have the time or experience to get crafty with your old TV set, donate it to a school, hospital or charitable organization [12]. Your analog TV is still a perfectly viable device for playing DVD's.
Of course, the question remains: is there life after analog TV? You may be looking at that empty space in your living room, wondering how you'll survive those rainy days. Here's an idea: don't buy a new TV. You'll be surprised by how much your life was ruled by the tube, and you will find other wonderful ways to spend your time!
+ Make Magazine [4]
Fish tank photo by Aquahobby [6]
Cat bed photo by oskay [13]
Love Letter Box photo by AlpineButterfly [10]
Recycled TV Bar photo by AlpineButterfly [14]
Article printed from Inhabitat – Green Design, Innovation, Architecture, Green Building: http://inhabitat.com
URL to article: http://inhabitat.com/your-analog-tv-is-dead-repurpose-it-into-something-fun/
URLs in this post:
[1] Image: http://www.inhabitat.com/?p=35490
[2] switch from analog to digital television: http://www.dtv.gov/consumercorner.html
[3] recycle your old television: http://earth911.com/
[4] Make Magazine: http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2009/06/ask_make_surplus_tvs_from_the_dtv_s.html
[5] make a cat bed out of your old TV: http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2006/05/old_monitor_cat_bed.html
[6] fish tank: http://www.aquahobby.com/tanks/e_tank0307d.php
[7] spooky Halloween art: http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2006/10/halloween_projects_for_yo.html
[8] do science experiments with it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cathod_ray_tube
[9] turn it into a swanky mini bar: http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2008/01/old_tv_becomes_a_bar.html
[10] Love Letter box: http://alpinebutterfly.blogspot.com/2009/02/happy-valentines-day.html
[11] AlpineButterfly: http://www.alpinebutterfly.blogspot.com/
[12] donate it to a school, hospital or charitable organization: http://www.ehow.com/how_4644442_donate-tv.html
[13] oskay: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oskay/156242299/in/pool-make/
[14] AlpineButterfly: http://alpinebutterfly.blogspot.com/2008/01/recycled-tv-bar.html
Click here to print.
Copyright © 2011 Inhabitat Local - New York. All rights reserved.


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Cynthia Hoffman, MFT
License # 40736
September 2000 to Present -- Psychotherapist – MFT/Clinical Supervisor
Private Practice, 1480 Church Street, San Francisco
Provide psychotherapy for individuals, couples, families, and youth from psychodynamic, cognitive behavioral, family systems, and mindfulness perspectives in private practice. Provide clinical supervision to private practice MFT interns.
May 2011 to July 2012 - Clinical Supervisor/Parole Re-Entry Court Clinician
Pretrial Diversion Project, 567 7th Street, San Francisco, CA 94103
Provide clinical supervision to MFT Trainees and intensive case managers working with a caseload of high risk parolees. Provide direct services to the more complex clients.
October 2009 – Present – Clinical Supervisor /Trainer
New Perspectives Center for Counseling, 5026 Geary Blvd., San Francisco, CA 94118
Provide individual and group supervision to interns in varying stages of pre-licensure. Provide trainings on a variety of topics.
September 2010 to May 2011 -- Clinical Supervisor
Urban YMCASF, 1426 Fillmore Street, San Francisco, CA 94115
Provide supervision and training to ASW and MFT interns working in school settings and family resource centers in San Francisco.
October 2009 – Present – Clinical Supervisor /Trainer
New Perspectives Center for Counseling, 5026 Geary Blvd., San Francisco, CA 94118
Provide individual and group supervision to interns in varying stages of pre-licensure. Provide trainings on a variety of topics.
January 2008 to July 2010 -- Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor
Westside Assertive Community Treatment (ACT) Program, 245 11th Street, San Francisco
Provided clinical supervision and program management to the ACT team of 9 ASWs and MFTIs who work in the community with adults with persistent and severe mental health and substance use issues. Provided clinical supervision to the Methadone Clinic. Provide trainings for staff both within my department and for the agency as a whole. Managed the program's budget and maintain compliance with Medi-Cal and Community Behavioral Health Systems standards. Attend various CBHS meetings and participate as a change agent for CBHS integration of mental health and substance use programs. Worked as part of an effective leadership team.
August 2005 to January 2008-- Program Director
CCCYO – Leland House, 141 Leland Ave, SF 94134
Provided administrative and clinical supervision to staff of 30 in a residential care facility for 45 adults with disabling HIV, as well as psychiatric and substance use disorders. Conducted both individual and group staff trainings in clinical skills, harm reduction, and substance use. Prepared budgets, contracts, and mandatory annual reports for various state and federal agencies. Participated in inter-agency, citywide program director work groups.
.April 2002 to August 2005 -- Family Therapist
CCCYO - St. Joseph's Family Center, 220 10th Street, SF
Conducted individual and conjoint therapy for homeless families. Included extensive crisis intervention. Connected residents to external providers to ensure continuity of care upon exiting the program. Provided clinical support and consultation to case management and residential staff. Facilitated staff trainings on various topics including psychiatric disorders, substance use, harm reduction, and working with difficult clients.
October 2002 to August 2005 -- Consultant/Facilitator/Dual Diagnosis Specialist
Court Accountable Case Management Center, 555 7th St, SF
Provided consultation for clinical and paraprofessional staff in this new program. Topics for consultation included engaging clients in treatment, crisis management, and accessing community services. Assisted in the development of written program goals and guidelines. Facilitated Dual and Diagnosis Anger Management groups for clients on Pre-trial diversion who were homeless and had multiple diagnoses.
September 2000 to April 2002 -- Clinical Case Manager/Dual Diagnosis Specialist
Westside New Directions Program, SF
Provided individual therapy, group therapy, and case management to mentally ill substance users with complex medical and housing issues. Many clients were court mandated. Included treatment plan development and implementation, clinical documentation, intensive collateral work with service providers and adult probation, and couples/family work. Assisted in program and curriculum development, and served as program representative to various city agencies.
July 2001 to April 2002 -- Group Facilitator Westside Youth Awareness Program, 1140 Oak Street, San Francisco
Facilitated twelve-week anger management groups for youths aged 12-25, many of whom were on probation and had substance use issues.
November 1999 to September 2000 -- Therapist/School Counselor
New Bridge Foundation, Berkeley, CA
Assessed high school and middle school adolescents in the Oakland and Tri-Valley areas for mental health and substance use issues. Provided individual and group therapy in both process and psycho-educational frameworks. Included clinical and CARF documentation. Facilitated family groups for adolescents and their families.
November 1984 to September 1998 -- Manager/Assistant Manager/Supervisor/Sr Premium Accountant
Acordia of California Insurance Services, 525 Market Street, San Francisco
Continually granted promotions and increases in responsibility due to demonstrated excellence in managing multiple tasks in a stressful, high-paced environment. Ran the accounting department, which utilized my interpersonal, task prioritization, and time management skills. Supervised up to seven premium accountants, and counseled them regarding performance and interpersonal skills. Hired and trained new employees.
New College of California, MA Psychology, Graduated June 1999
San Francisco State University, BA Psychology, Graduated Cum Laude August 1997
2010 – Compass Leadership Training - I use my interactive and engaging facilitation skills, as well as my 20 years in management, to lead exercises that help the participants discovery the diversity of working styles on a team.
2010 - Cultural Competency/Responsiveness - recently been trained and certified in the new The CBMCS Multicultural Training Program - http://www.sagepub.com/cbmcs/ which is an intensive 8 day training to help mental health professionals learn how to effectively facilitate trainings for cultural responsiveness. Tailored this training to present at Westside staff in segments.
2008 to present : Annual 3 part training to New Perspectives clinic to MFT interns on Substance Use, Motivational Interviewing and Harm Reduction
2008: Provided Monthly Trainings to Westside Integrated Services on various topics including:
Dealing with Burnout, Working with those with Multiple Diagnoses , Harm Reduction,
Cultural Competency and Responsiveness.
2008: Sex and Speed A training on working with men with HIV/AIDs, substance use and psychiatric issues in a residential setting.
2007: Working with Blended Families at HAPS.
2007: Introduction to Cultural Competency to RCFCI employees.
2007: Harm reduction at a domestic violence shelter in the East bay.
2007: Dual Diagnosis workshop for MFT and PsyD interns at a training clinic.
2004: Discrimination and its effect on Children and Families at Head Start Conference.
2002 – 2008: Working with Personality Disordered Clients in a Residential Setting, Dual Diagnosis, Harm Reduction for staff at various CCCYO programs (St Joseph's, Guerrero House, Richmond Hills, and Leland House).
2002: Motivational Interviewing for staff at various sites at Westside.
2001: Bridging the Gap Conference: Harm Reduction. Spoke about engaging special populations (court mandated, transgendered, homeless, etc.) in dual diagnosis treatment.


text:
Register with us or sign in
in Problem solving
Hi - I've sown Cosmos Purity from GW, and they were all coming up and had 1 pair of leaves, in the greenhouse. But today I checked, and about 8 have had their leaves nibbled off, just leaving the stem, some at soil level, some about 1" high. Any ideas what it could be, I wondered about mice?
Slugs/snails more than likely
I go for slugs and snails too, I've had similar things happen last year to mine. They can really do a lot of damage to young seedlings
Thank you for reminding me to put some pellets on my Purity
Yip slugs. I did find my first vine weevil of the year in my coldframe though
Yep....slugs or snails...look under the pots and trays, they hide...they're good at insinuating themselves in the slots of the aluminium struts of the GH...
I sent for my first lot of nemaslug yesterday...take that pesky slugs...


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Peter Rogers
Found 10 Records, 7 Photos and 6,068,412 Family Trees
Born in Worschester, England on 1680 to Giles Rogers and Rachel Eastham. Peter married Mary Armistead and had 7 children. He passed away on 1698 in Virginia, USA.
Ready to discover your family story?
Simply start with yourself and we'll do the searching for you.
Potential photos and documents for Peter RogersView All 7 Images
Top record matches for Peter Rogers
Surname meaning for "Rogers"
English: patronymic from the personal name


text:
How can I stop feeling so yucky?!
I am 33wks, and for the past few days I have felt so yucky! My stomach hurts, I have constant heartburn, I'm so tired, and I work on my feet all day. Is there anything I can do to make myself feel less... gross and fatigued all the time?
Posted: 12/02/2012 by a BabyCenter Member
Answer this question


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********************************************************** ****start of file org.eclipse.core.runtime.compatibility.auth_3.2.100.v20070502.jar**** **********************************************************
October 30, 2006
The Eclipse Foundation makes available all content in this plug-in ("Content"). Unless otherwise indicated below, the Content is provided to you under the terms and conditions of the Eclipse Public License Version 1.0 ("EPL"). A copy of the EPL is available at http://www.eclipse.org/legal/epl-v10.html. For purposes of the EPL, "Program" will mean the Content.
If you did not receive this Content directly from the Eclipse Foundation, the Content is being redistributed by another party ("Redistributor") and different terms and conditions may apply to your use of any object code in the Content. Check the Redistributor's license that was provided with the Content. If no such license exists, contact the Redistributor. Unless otherwise indicated below, the terms and conditions of the EPL still apply to any source code in the Content and such source code may be obtained at http://www.eclipse.org.
The plug-in contains encryption software. The country in which you are currently may have restrictions on the import, possession, and use, and/or re-export to another country, of encryption software. BEFORE using any encryption software, please check the country's laws, regulations and policies concerning the import, possession, or use, and re-export of encryption software, to see if this is permitted.
Details of the encryption software in this plug-in are provided to assist in obtaining relevant export control classification and approval. Cryptography in this plug-in has been deemed eligible by the U.S. Government Department of Commerce for export under License Exception Technology Software Unrestricted (TSU) for both object code and source code.
The plug-in contains a proprietary routine that encrypts and decrypts information used to login to Version Control Management (VCM) repositories. This routine uses the SHA-1 message digest algorithm implemented in a Java (TM) Runtime Environment (JRE), to generate a cryptographically secure sequence of bytes based on a user-supplied password combined with bytes supplied by a random number generator. The secure random numbers generated by this sequence are then added to each byte in the data to be encrypted. When the data is to be decrypted, the same password will generate the same sequence of random numbers, which is then subtracted from each byte in the encrypted data. Note that a JRE and therefore the aforementioned SHA-1 message digest code is not included with the plug-in.
The following Java classes contain encryption items (the plug-in may contain both binary and source code):


text: Hi there James, welcome to the Guild! I followed the link but the image did not display correctly for some reason. This is a great place to learn more about the digital side of map creation. Thee are tons of PS tutorials on map creation here, and it would be worth your time to have a browse around. Look forward to seeing your work.


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Executive Director
After nearly twenty-eight years in the college admission and college counseling professions, Lloyd Thacker left his counseling job in February 2004 to edit and publish College Unranked and to establish the Education Conservancy. Lloyd received degrees in Political Science from the University of California at San Diego and the University of California at Davis. He works as a consultant, public speaker, fundraiser, writer and organizer. Lloyd lives in Portland, Oregon with his wife, Lori, and their two sons. He enjoys playing music, building furniture, cooking, gardening and playing with his kids.


text:
New Lineup
Welcome to Koons Kia of Woodbridge
New and Used Kia Dealer in Woodbridge, Virginia - Greater Alexandria
If you're
in the market for a 2016 or 2017
Kia, you need to come into our dealership in Woodbridge today. We are a Kia dealership serving the Alexandria, Manassas,
Fredericksburg and
Chantilly areas. We stock
a large selection of new and used Kia cars at great prices. If you need
assistance with choosing a new car, obtaining financing, or have
service and repair questions, our friendly and knowledgeable staff will
get your questions answered.
looking for a vehicle to drive on the streets of Alexandria, Virginia in style,
check out our large inventory of new 2016 and 2017 Kia
vehicles featuring the Optima,
Sorento, Sportage, Forte and Soul, among others. To learn more about purchasing or leasing a new Kia in the Alexandra or Manassas, VA region, stop by Koons Kia! You can reach our dealership by phone at 703-494-3333 or stop in and see us at 14208 Jefferson
Davis Hwy.
Research a New 2016 Kia:
If it's a used
car in
Woodbridge you're looking for, Koons Kia is your destination. You will find an
expansive selection of used Kia vehicles available in Woodbridge. We
also carry used cars from the top car manufacturers. Our used car
inventory is continually changing and all of our cars are carefully
inspected and detailed before they are put on the lot. Come view our
used car selection at 14208 Jefferson Davis Hwy.
Looking for a car loan in Woodbridge? Come speak to the experts at Koons Kia of Woodbridge. By working with lenders and understanding your needs, we can create customized loan and lease programs suited to your situation. Our finance department can adjust variables to make sure your loan will fit your lifestyle. The term can be extended to lower monthly payments, or you can pay a little more to shorten the duration of your loan. Call us or stop by to speak to a financial representative.
Kia Repair & Parts Center - Serving Woodbridge, Manassas, Chantilly & Alexandria
Get the repair and auto parts your Kia needs from the industry experts at Koons Kia of Woodbridge, Our mechanics will make sure your car is fixed right the first time, and our professional parts department has a large inventory of auto parts to fill orders quickly. For Kia repair in Woodbridge and original Kia car parts, visit our dealership today!
We look forward to serving the Alexandria region at Koons Kia of Woodbridge. Located at 14208 Jefferson Davis Highway in Woodbridge, VA, we want you to visit our showroom and wide selection of cars including the 2016 Kia Optima, Sorento, and K900.
Our Location
Koons Kia of Woodbridge
14208 Jefferson Davis Hwy
Woodbridge, VA 22191
- Sales: 703-494-3333
* MSRP is the Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price (MSRP) of the vehicle. Unless specifically indicated in the advertisement, MSRP does not include taxes, fees or other charges. Actual dealer pricing may vary. Consult your dealer for more information and complete details.
* The dealer advertised price may not reflect specific dealer offers, and may be subject to certain terms and conditions as indicated in the advertisement. Consult your dealer for more information and complete details.
* Images and options shown are examples, only, and may not reflect exact vehicle color, trim, options, pricing or other specifications.


text:
Google Docs
Using Indents, Tabs, and Lists
Creating lists
Bulleted and numbered lists can be used in your documents to format, arrange, and emphasize text. In Google Documents, you can insert new bulleted and numbered lists, restart a numbered list, modify the existing bullet style of a list, and format multilevel lists.
Watch the video to learn how to work with lists.
To create a list:
- Select the text you want to format as a list.Selecting text to be formatted
- Click the Bulleted or Numbered list shortcut button.
The Numbered and Bulleted list shortcut buttons
- The bulleted or numbered list will appear in the document.
A bulleted list
Options for working with lists
- To remove numbers or bullets from a list, select the list and click the Bulleted or Numbered list shortcut button.
- When you're editing a list, you can press Enter to start a new line, and the new line will automatically have a bullet or number. When you've reached the end of your list, press Enter twice to return to normal formatting.
- By dragging the indent markers on the ruler, you can customize the indenting of your list and the distance between the text and the bullet or number.
To restart the numbering of a list:
If you want to change the numbering of a list, Google Documents has a restart numbering option. It can be applied to numeric and alphabetical lists.
- Right-click the list item you would want to restart the numbering for.
- Select Restart numbering... from the drop-down menu.
Selecting Restart numbering...
- The Numbering dialog box will appear. In the Restart numbering at field, type the desired number or letter.
- Click OK.
Restarting the numbering of a list
- The list numbering will restart.
Viewing the restarted list
To change list styles:
- Select an existing list.
Selecting an existing list
- Click Format, then select List styles to select a new style from the drop-down menu. The current style has a check mark next to it.
Clicking on the Square bullet
- The new list style will be applied.
The new list style
You can also quickly change between the numbered and bulleted list styles by selecting the list and clicking the Bulleted or Numbered list shortcut buttons.
To create a multilevel list:
Multilevel lists allow you to create an outline with multiple levels. Any bulleted or numbered list can be turned into a multilevel list by simply placing the insertion point at the beginning of a line and pressing the Tab key to change the level for that line.
- Place the insertion point at the beginning of the line.
Placing the insertion point at the beginning of a line
- Press the Tab key to increase the level of the line.
Pressing the Tab key to increase the level of a line.
- Hold Shift and press Tab to decrease the level.
Alternatively, you can increase or decrease the levels of text by selecting the text and then clicking the Increase indent or Decrease indent shortcut buttons.


text:
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I requested emails to be sent in response to MY OWN comments, certainly not post heavily edited by the 'crash edit team'..the 'schooling' is far too heavy chaps !!


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David Allan Lapham
Position: G-C-T
Height: 6-4 Weight: 259 lbs.
Born: June 24, 1952 in Melrose, MA
High School: Wakefield
College: Syracuse (school history)
Drafted by the Cincinnati Bengals in the 3rd round (61st overall) of the 1974 NFL Draft.
Weighted Career AV (100-95-...): 52 (1335th overall since 1950)
Promote your website or business by sponsoring this page for $5 on Pro-Football-Reference.com. Your message will replace this ad.
1974 Game Log: Regular Season · Playoffs · vs.


text:
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