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Reviews by NBASNIPES
Amazing TitleNBASNIPES | May 26, 2013 | Review of Tomb Raider overflow 4 - PC
It is overall a great game with some of the best set-pieces i have ever seen. I only wish they could have just added things to the multiplier.
Great Game but a few things keep it from being perfectNBASNIPES | May 23, 2013 | Review of Borderlands 2 NA Overflow 1 - PC
I love the level up system and the classes are just perfect, but the online could have been a bit better with more then just co-op from other missions (mabye a REAL deathmatch mode?). Overall good game.


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Davis was backed by Jerrold Brooks, who had 12 points, and Michael Craig, who chipped in seven points, nine rebounds, three assists and three steals for Southern Mississippi (6-0).
The win was the Golden Eagles' 17th consecutive at home - the sixth longest streak in the country - including 24 straight nonconference home games.
Denver (1-4) was paced by Royce O'Neale, who had a career-high in 22 points and five 3-pointers on 11 attempts.
Southern Mississippi led 23-15 at halftime and used a 14-5 run early in the second half to take a 41-24 advantage.
The Golden Eagles shot 50 percent (19 of 38) from the field to Denver's 33.3 percent (18 of 54), and made 19 free throws against the Pioneers' five.
(Copyright 2012 The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved)

subset: commoncrawl


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This job posting is no longer available on Indeed.
Find similar jobs:Personal Support Worker jobs
- BayBridge Senior Living jobs
We are looking for an experienced Personal Support Worker enthusiastic to find a challenging position within a retirement community.
If you are flexible, careful, keen, and a lively individual with knowledge of implementing personal support plans which enter on the individual's welfare, requirements, needs and interests we may have a place for you.
In accordance with applicable policies of the residence and Unregulated Health Professions Act, assists residents with personal care and other administrative related duties. Efficiency and accuracy required in maintaining and implementing care as well as resident health records.
1. Plans and organizes tasks and care efficiently
2. Plans time to report care issues to registered staff.
3. Plans to adhere to BAYBRIDGE SENIOR LIVING established policies and procedures.
4. Assesses the need for assistance with activities of daily living; bathing, toileting, dressing, grooming, and mobility for assigned residents.
5. Assesses new move-ins frequently to determine actual functioning.
6. Assessed the safety and cleanliness of the resident's environment, equipment.
7. Assesses adequacy of care for those residents receiving personal care.
8. Assess the resident's involvement in activities.
9. Intervenes in the provision of personal care, including ADL requirements, incontinence management, collecting and washing laundry, sorting and storing clean laundry, labeling personal items.
10. Intervenes in recording weights, intake and outputs, collection of specimens, under direction of the R.N./R.P.N.
11. Intervenes by escorting residents to social activity programs, appointments, dining room. Promptly answers nursing call systems.
12. Assists with move in, discharge and transfer of residents
13. Intervenes with proper transfer, lifting techniques.
14. Records interventions on flow sheets, and reports to registered staff.
15. Evaluates self on performance daily, seeks guidance and information when required.
16. Evaluates effectiveness of care provided and reports this to registered staff.
17. Evaluates maintenance of equipment and reports malfunctions.
18. Keeps the Director of Health and Wellness promptly and fully informed of all problems or unusual matters of significance and takes prompt corrective action where necessary or suggests alternative courses of action which may be taken.
19. Performs all duties and responsibilities in a timely and effective manner in accordance with established company policies to achieve the overall objectives of the position.
20. Maintains a favourable working relationship with all other company employees and guests to foster and promote a fun and harmonious working climate that maximizes morale, productivity and efficiency.
21. Provides a favourable image of the company at all times to promote its objectives and enhance public recognition of all its areas of endeavour.
22. Evaluates efficiency of completed assignments and tasks as delegated by the Director of Health and Wellness.
Extensive standing and walking. Repeated reaching, squatting, kneeling, bending, pushing and twisting. May be exposed to hazards from bacteria and/or infectious diseases and/or illnesses. May be exposure to biochemical agents. Some stress resulting from frequent interruption of routines and demanding resident care needs and/or requests.
A successful candidate will possess a current first aid and CPR certification.
Please forward your cover letter and resume, in confidence, to:
Diane Soper, RPNWellness CoordinatorHarvest Retirement Community


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By Lauren Beale
(MCT)—It's showtime, so to speak. No, not on the basketball court at Staples Center, but in Playa del Rey, where Jerry Buss' mansion has come on the market at $5.95 million.
The custom Italian-style villa, built in 1998 by the late Los Angeles Lakers owner and billionaire, is a showstopper.
For starters, Lakers logos adorn the stained-glass double-door entry set in a rotunda. Inside, a hallway with Spanish tile floors and a wood-beam ceiling leads to a winding staircase.
On the second level, wood floors step down to the living room where columns flank the fireplace. A cozy bar occupies one corner of the game room. There are multiple balconies, three fireplaces, seven bedrooms and 11 bathrooms.
The massive master suite includes a lounge and a separate living area with a fireplace.
A three-stop elevator connects the 10,846 square feet of living space. The rooftop deck and spa feature slam-dunk views of the ocean, marina and cityscape.
Two four-car garages complete the estate.
Buss, who died in February at 80, was majority owner of the National Basketball Association team, which he bought in 1979. The Lakers won 10 NBA championships during his tenure, while the real estate mogul transformed the experience from spectator sport to "Showtime," giving seats to movie stars, and entertaining fans with the Laker Girls.
©2013 Los Angeles Times
Distributed by MCT Information Services
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CarJunkieTV.com evaluates MSD's new 6AL-2 Ignition Control!
MSD 6AL-2 Installation
MSD Ignition Shop Tour
How to set your ignition timing
Differences between MSD 6 Series Ignitions
Learn the differences between the MSD Pro-Billet Distributors
Part 2 MSD Ignitions Pro-Data+ Software
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Part 3 MSD Ignition's Pro-Data+ Software
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V8TV at SEMA 2009 with MSD Ignition
MSD's Digital 6AL
MSD Atomic EFI System
2011 SEMA Video Coverage - MSD Atomic EFI V8TV
MSD Performance Shop Tour in El Paso, Texas
El Paso To LA: The Hard Way! - Roadkill Episode 1


text:
Chris Sarandon
Would 'Hocus Pocus' Be a Beloved Halloween Classic If It Wasn't Released the Same Year as 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'?
- By Nathan Adams
- @templeofreviews
- October 23, 2012
By the time 1993 rolled around, Tim Burton already had projects like Pee-wee's Big Adventure, Beetlejuice, and Edward Scissorhands under his belt, and had firmly established himself as an auteur director of quirky, weird films. It was probably that year's The Nightmare Before Christmas – a movie that Burton produced...
NYFF: 'The Princess Bride' Reunion Screening Gleefully Transforms Lincoln Center Into a Grindhouse Theater
- By Caitlin Hughes
- October 6, 2012
Commemorating the 25th anniversary of The Princess Bride, director Rob Reiner, screenwriter William Goldman (also the author of the source novel) and stars Robin Wright ("Buttercup"), Wallace Shawn ("Vizzini"), Chris Sarandon ("Prince Humperdink"), Mandy Patinkin ("Inigo Montoya"), Carol Kane ("Valerie"), Cary Elwes ("Westley"), and Billy Crystal ("Miracle Max") all gathered...
6 Scenes We Love From 'The Princess Bride'
- By Christopher Campbell
- @thefilmcynic
- September 30, 2012
Last Tuesday was the 25th anniversary of the theatrical openings of The Princess Bride, and this coming Tuesday sees the release of a 25th Anniversary Edition Blu-ray of the movie, which features a new two-part retrospective documentary. Also on Tuesday, a new print of the fantasy adventure classic will screen...
31 Days of Horror: Fright Night (1985)
- By Kevin Carr
- @kevincarr
- October 9, 2011
We continue our journey through a month of frightening, bloody and violent films. For more, check out our 31 Days of Horror homepage. Synopsis: Charlie Brewster (William Ragsdale) is just a normal nerdy high school kid whose inconceivably less-nerdy girlfriend Amy (Amanda Bearse) wants to have sex with him. However,...
36 Films: Dog Day Afternoon (1975)
- By Landon Palmer
- @landonspeak
- August 28, 2010
For 36 days straight, we'll be exploring the famous 36 Dramatic Situations by examining a film that exemplifies each one. From family killing family to prisoners in need of asylum, we brush off the 19th century list in order to remember that it's still incredibly relevant today. Whether you're seeking...


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|Hopalong Tentacles
|General information
|List of characters
Hopalong Tentacles is a bartender at the Krusty Kantina. He first appeared in the episode Pest of the West and so far that was his only appearance. He plays the piano during a song by putting 5 cents into the coin slot. Like his descendant, Squidward, he thinks SpongeBuck (SpongeBob toward Squidward) is annoying. He sells milk, root beer and perhaps other beverages. It is unknown where he actually lives, he could possibly stay in Dead-Eye Inn. He thinks William Krabs is cheap just like the real Mr. Krabs. His name is a parody of Hopalong Cassidy, a fictional cowboy created by author Clarence E. Mulford.
He is very similar to Squidward in appearance, but also has a handle-bar mustache and a vest and brown shirt. He is best known for putting five cents into the piano to play a song.
His attitude is just like Squidward's. He dislikes SpongeBuck, like the present-time Squidward does to SpongeBob.
|Cephalopods (V • E)
Octopus Children • Octopus Sailor • Orville • Mrs. Tentacles • Mr. Tentacles • Squidette • Squidward Tentacles • Squilliam Fancyson • Squidly Tentacles • Squog • Roger • Lodge Leader • Squilvia • Cafe Stand Owner • Hopalong Tentacles • Squeeze Tentacles • Grandma Tentacles • Kelpy G


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STERLING or COIN ?? Silver Salt & Pepper Shakers
- Sold for: Start Free Trial or Sign In to see what it's worth.
- Item Category: Metals
- Source: eBay
- Sold Date: Jun 11, 2007
- Channel: Auction House
Pretty Solid Silver Salt & Pepper Shakers Hello, and welcome to my auction. I have for you a mystery Silver Salt & Pepper Shaker Set. They are very pretty, with a soft satin finish over most of the body. T is a little embossed border of flowers at the bottom, and bright silver on top and bottom. They are very light weight, like sterling would be. They are both marked "S. SILVER METAL" 28. T are no other marks on it. I am not sure what the "S. SILVER" means. It could mean "SOLID SILVER", which could be anything from 800/1000 to 950/1000, OR it could mean "STERLING SILVER" (925/1000). I tested it and it tests for a high silver content, but t is also a tiny, almost imperceptable trace of copper. That is as accurate as my test pen goes. So, I think it is pretty safe to say that these are either Coin Silver or Sterling, but I can't nail it down exactly. If you love silver AND a good mystery...you will love these shakers! Be sure to check out some of my other fine items for sale on eBay. Please contact me with any questions you may have. Thank you for looking at my auction, and Happy Bidding! ************************************************************************ I SPECIALIZE IN ANTIQUE SILVER, VINTAGE WATCHES & JEWELRY, NIPPON , OLD BOOKS and MISC. FANCIES Check out my Blog Page articles: VICTORIAN Silver Figural Napkin Rings 101 and my Guide by this same name...complete with pictures & VICTORIAN Silver Figural Napkin Rings 101 - Reproductions, Fakes, Etc... ********************** TERMS ********************** I DO NOT ACCEPT PERSONAL CHECKS I WILL ACCEPT MONEY ORDERS ONLY UNDER THE FOLLOWING CONDITIONS : 1. Write to me to ask me if a money order is okay 2. I will look at your feedback 3. If approved, send the money order by either CERTIFIED MAIL-OR- PRIORITY MAIL WITH DELIVERY CONFIRMATION 4. Email or message me with the Delivery Confirmation # or to let me know that it is coming certified. 5. I will ship your item within 2 business days after receiving the money order. S & H FEES : I always try to be as fair and accurate as possible when estimating the cost of shipping. T are, however, some variables that can drive the cost up unexpectedly, such as; weight added by the packing materials, cost of special packing materials, etc... The S & H Fee is applied to help defray these costs. If for some reason the actual shipping cost is way under what you paid (by $4.00 or more), I will happily reimburse you the overage. IF YOU BUY INSURANCE AND YOUR ITEM ARRIVES DAMAGED, KEEP ALL PACKAGING MATERIALS - Box & Padding! You will need this to show the post office to make your claim. Notify me immediately and I will send you copies of any reciepts and documents that you will need to make your claim. PAYMENT & RELISTING POLICY : Buyers have 3 days to pay for their auction. At that time I will send a friendly reminder to submit payment. After 2 days, another reminder will be sent to you, along with a warning that the item will be relisted unless payment is submited withing 48 hours. If payment has still not been received the by the deadline, the item will be relisted...UNLESS communication has been received from the buyer to work out other arrangements. PLEASE WRITE, I would love to hear from you : ) SHIPPING : I usually ship the same or the next business day that payment is received. All US shipping is done through USPS Priority Mail. Please check the calculator for your rate or go to . CANADIAN BUYERS - Shipping to Canada costs more and will be adjusted accordingly. Check the site for your options. INTERNATIONAL BUYERS , WINNING INTL BIDDERS MUST PROVIDE ME WITH A VALID PHONE NUMBER (Required or I cannot ship to you) AND CONFIRMED PAYPAL ADDRESS . Please write to me for a quote on shipping. I use USPS Global Priority Mail OR Express Mail. You can check out their prices from the US on their web site . I WILL NOT FALSIFY VALUES...


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In 2009, Skechers was the first Oracle customer to implement Oracle's
PeopleSoft Real Estate Management, a solution that integrates with
Oracle's PeopleSoft Enterprise financial management and supply chain
management applications to ensure
that leases are managed according
to terms. The software captures cost
and space utilization data to support
management and enforces compliance
with companywide financial processes
and controls.
Skechers rolled out the solution for
its 291 stores in the U.S. and abroad.
The company worked closely with the
Oracle product team to provide development insight.
Previously Skechers management relied on a standalone client/
server–based application that was not
scalable. As a result, rent payments to
landlords had to be manually drawn.
Payments were difficult to track and
were often either missed or sent
twice. Reporting for the retail construction department was laborious
and took weeks.
After implementing PeopleSoft's
Real Estate Management tool, Skechers executives were able to see data
that had been integrated with other
financial applications in the company.
"It was extremely crucial to workwith the Oracle product team during theimplementation of the real estate mod-ule because there was no reference orstandard process to follow," says MainakSarkar, director of financial systems atSkechers. "We were the first customer,and we had to establish the base."Sarkar says Skechers can now pro-cess rents for more than 250 storesin less than an hour, and can regularlygenerate store reports that include datafrom multiple sources such as generalledger, real estate, accounts payable,and asset management applications.Previously, such a report could be gen-erated only once a year.
Oracle Business Intelligence Enterprise Edition, the licensing
department has been motivated to seek out more business.
"Our licensing department has gone from the Stone Age tothe modern age by using Oracle Business Intelligence EnterpriseEdition as its tool to determine how well our licensee fees aredoing," says Weinberg. "The dashboard is so helpful that they'reexcited to sign up more licensees, because now we have visibil-ity into the business."Skechers also implemented Oracle's regulatory compli-ance auditing tool, Oracle governance, risk, and compliance(GRC) applications. These solutions, implemented in just threemonths, have already helped Skechers in managing its internalaudit across all of its domestic and international business units,including joint ventures.
"Oracle's GRC applications allow us to implement a standard
set of business policies and controls across the global enterprise.
The solution also gives us the ability to identify any issues and
opportunities to improve our operations," says Ashwat Panchal,
director of internal audit at Skechers. GRC applications are also
integrated with Skechers' other Oracle solutions, resulting in
streamlined data that can flow through the different applications.
Skechers' new IT footprint gives business leadership full trans-parency into the fast-paced operations that the company'sgrowth is demanding. Skechers management is looking forwardto creating new Oracle Business Intelligence Enterprise Editiondashboards that can crunch more numbers in the business. Thecompany also plans to roll out PeopleSoft functionality, includ-ing accounts receivable, billing, and inventory solutions, to all18 countries.
MONICA MEHTA is a frequent contributor to Profit.
Oracle's PeopleSoft Enterprise Applications
-enterprise/ index.html
Oracle Business Intelligence Enterprise Edition
business-intelligence/ index.html
Click to subscribe to this magazine


text:
|FDR's Funeral Train: A Betrayed Widow, a Soviet Spy, and a Presidency in the Balance Books at the Bar
Monday, March 7, 2011 6 PM reception, 6:45 PM program
Event has expired. Registration for this event is no longer available.
In April 1945, the train that carried FDR's body from Warm Springs, GA, to his Hyde Park burial place also carried mystery, intrigue, and scandal—revealed for the first time in Robert Klara's new book about this historic event. Please note: this program was originally scheduled in September, but postponed.
ROBERT KLARA, Author, FDR's Funeral Train
Sponsored by:
Committee on Books at the Bar, Hon. Diane Kiesel, Chair


text:
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HOME NBA Boston Celtics Gear Boston Celtics Mens Boston Celtics Mens Jerseys over $60 (36 items) Product ID: 1152799
Main Content
- 100% Polyester mesh
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- Logoman at back neck; stitched jock tag at front left hem
- Made in Nicaragua
- NBA jersey
- Officially licensed
- Player name and number appliquéd on back
- Silhouette and cutlines replicate team's on-court jerseys
- Team name and player number appliquéd on chest; adidas branding at upper right
- Team-colored stripe accents at arm holes and collar
- V-neck
- Imported
- Brand: adidas
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Customized items can be personalized with options such as your name, your favorite number, and/or designs. Some options may be limited by league rules.


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Why Apple Has 20% Upside From Here
TheStreet) -- Apple's (AAPL - Get Report) fourth-quarter results were mixed, as cost pressures from a slew of new products impacted earnings. Investors could see as much as 20% upside next year, though, as costs come down, and Apple's margins ramp up. Apple CFO Peter Oppenheimer noted that fiscal first-quarter margins, Apple's most important given that they coincide with the holiday season, will be around 36%, 400 basis points lower than the company's historical average.Tim Cook Launches 'Surface' Attack: Apple Live Blog Recap For the three months ended Sept. 30, Apple reported fiscal fourth-quarter earnings of $8.2 billion, or $8.67 per share, on revenue of $36 billion, up from a year-ago equivalent profit of $6.6 billion, or $7.05 a share, on revenue of $28.3 billion. The average estimate of analysts polled by Thomson Reuters was for earnings of $8.75 a share on revenue of $35.8 billion in the fourth quarter. Apple launched several new products in the past six weeks, including the iPhone 5, iPad mini, iPod Touch, fourth-generation iPad, iMac, 13-inch MacBook Pro, and Mac Mini. "We believe over 80% of revenue in the December quarter will come from products we've introduced in just the last 6 weeks," Oppenheimer noted. With such a massive product refresh in such a short period of time, and the iPad mini having much lower margins than Apple is used to, overall margins will come down. Deutsche Bank analyst Chris Whitmore believes shares should be bought on a pullback. "We trim est's on margins associated with new product ramps (GMs guide to 36%) but with the biggest product refresh in history into the Dec Q, we recommend investors Buy AAPL on any pullback," Whitmore wrote in his note. He rates Apple "buy" with a $800 price target. Apple essentially refreshed its entire product lineup in the past two months, and there are costs associated with that. CEO Tim Cook made his bones as an operations genius, managing the supply chain, help Apple squeeze every last dollar of profit. UBS analyst Steven Milunovich believes there's room for upside throughout 2013, as costs come down, and Apple is able to manage the supply chain better. He rates Apple "buy" with a $780 price target. Apple has big expectations for its product refreshes, especially the iPad mini, as CEO Cook noted on Thursday night's conference call. "One of the things we try to do is create a product people will love for months and years after purchasing it," he said. "That's what the iPad mini has been designed to be."NEW YORK (
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Baby name dilemma...?
Let me start with i am a PLANNER i have two boys and am pregnant with my third child(sex unknown) i feel like its a boy but i have a baby girl name picked out just incase. My two boys are names: Kalob Michael 4 1/2 and Carter Skye 1 1/2 i am at a lost for baby number threes name the girl name i have picked out is Scarlette Marie. I have been loking threw baby name books bt just cant figure out a good boy name i need some help!!! Any ideas would be helpful :]
Posted: 07/23/2012 by Cartergarcia2011
Mom Answers
Sort by: best answers | most recent answers
1 - 2 of 2 answers
Um, I'm a first time mom and we still don't have a name. We are so undecided lol. Here's our favorites, Clark, Eli, Taylor, Breckett, Ian. I like Emmett, Hudson. He likes Daniel, Madden. Other names: Trinity, River, Carson, Mark, Jordan, ...posted 07/31/2012 by BabyReevesMommy
Still not been able to think of any hopefully its a girl thhn i wont have to worry about it but i really want to have a boy name picked out so i can start getting excited about a boy so that when my ultrasound comes if it is a boy i will be excited!!! we are happy either way this time but i dont wanna keep thinking yay girl and it not be 9Again)posted 08/02/2012 by Cartergarcia2011
Answer this question


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INDIACSR News Network JAMSHEDPUR: Tata Steel held Annual Convocation ceremony of its women empowerment programme at Baridih community centre on May 9, 2012. Department of Urban Services, the social wing of Tata Steel, aims at uplifting and providing equal status to the women of the bustees through various 'Women Empowerment" activities like sewing and stitching, […]
Posted byindiacsr
Posted inCorporate
CommentsComments Off
SIMLA: It has reported that the green bench of the Himachal Pradesh high court slapped a fine of Rs 100 crore on Jaiprakash Associates on Friday for setting up a cement plant fraudulently. The court quashed the environmental clearance granted to the company's thermal plant and directed that it be dismantled within three months. It […]
Posted byindiacsr
Posted inEnvironment
CommentsComments Off


text:
Quick Details
- Place of Origin: Guangdong, China (Mainland)
- Brand Name: Etross or OEM Brand
- Model Number: 6288
- Type: Analog Cordless Phone
- Frequency Band: 850/900/1800/1900Mhz
- Color: White Black
- SMS: Support
- Caller ID display: Support
- Back up battery: Support
- Warranty: 1 year
Packaging & Delivery
|Packaging Details:
|Dimensions (L x W x H) (average): 230 x 180 x 60mm
Weight: FWP: 400g; Full set with AC adapter, antenna and box: 550g
|Delivery Detail:
|2-3working days
Etross 6288 GSM Fixed Wireless Phone / Home Phone / Desk phone / Cordless Phone / FWP
Brand: Etross or OEM brand
Model no.: Etross-6288
Product name: Etross-6288 GSM FWP, GSM Fixed Wireless Phone
1. Support GSM 900/1800MHz or GSM850MHz/900MHz / 1800MHz/1900MHz (optional )
2. Caller ID Display
3. Dot-matrixed display with Chinese, English, Spanish (optional)
4. SMS function
5. IP No. Setting
6. Software upgrade jack
7. Data service, Support CSD and GPRS class 10/8. Connect PC by USB port
8. Call in / Call out /Call divert/ Call waiting limitation function
9. Lock up function: SIM card, network, cell and operated company
10. Local No. / direct No. / limited No. Setting
11. Speed dial function
12. Redial function
13. Support three-way conference call
14. Save more than 100 SMS on the phone
15. 7-level headphone volume and silence adjustable
16. Speaker Phone
17. Low-power indicator
18. Storage 20 missed call or received calls and the last ten dialed number
19. Voice mail function
20. Packing Size (mm): 220*160*53
21. Support STK1114
22. Emergency call: At off-hook or hand-free state, can calling emergency number without
Technical Parameter:
1. Operating Freq.: 850/900/1800/1900MHz automatically switch
2. Normal operation temperature: -30 ---70
Restricted operation temperature: -30 ---80
Storage temperature: -40 ---85
3. Environment noise: Below 60dB(A)
4. Support SIMCard 1.8V/ 3V
5. Channel interval: 200KHz
6. Receive sensitivity: <-100dBm
7. Relative humidity: 45%~95%
8. Atmosphere pressure: 86~106Kpa
9. Support for software upgrade on line
10. AC power voltage: 220V?à22V, Freq.: 50Hz
11. GPRS multi-slot class 10/8
GPRS mobile station class B
12. Compliant to GSM phase 2/2+
-Class 4()
-Class 1()
13. Control via AT commands
(GSM 07.07, 07.05 and SIMCOM enhanced AT Commands)
14. Phone: DC 9V 1000mA
15. Battery: 3, 6V 1300mAH Ni-MH rechargeable battery (accessory)
1. With batteries, standby time is more than 72h
2. With battery, Call time is more than 4h
1) For public use as payphones
2) For office and home use
3) For rural and mountainous areas
4) For mobile carriages, like ships, automobiles and trains
5) For those places where hardwire-line telephone service is unavailable
Standard component:
|User's manual
Color White & Black (optional):
English & Spanish (Optional):
Back up battery & Sim card Slot:
GPRS Data cable(Optional):


text:
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
4 comments:
- Life In A Pink Fibro said...
I can't read the rules until I've heard about the school disco. Can't.
- March 27, 2012 at 12:21 PM
- Glen said...
damn it - I knew I shouldn't have dangled such a good carrot at you
- March 27, 2012 at 3:22 PM
- DangGina said...
Just read your post.
This can't be true. Yet...
A handful of months ago, I was texting a blast from my past (a guy from high school) about getting a new roommate. He asked what I thought were kind of normal questions--like how tall she is. (I qualify this as "normal" because he knows that I'm 5'11", and...I don't know, his question just fell into the conversation with relative ease.) Anyway, I answered that the new girl is 6' tall, and he responded with, "When you have a pillow fight in your panties, please send me a picture."
I was kind of grossed out, and completely amazed, that this is what he figured we might do, never mind that we're both heterosexual adult women.
I scratched my head in wonder over that text for quite some time. And I sincerely believe he was somewhat disappointed that he never received that picture text.
Guys are gross. :)
- March 29, 2012 at 4:45 PM
- Glen said...
Gina - Who won the pillow fight :-)
- March 29, 2012 at 9:30 PM


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GSX13 Air Conditioner
13 SEER Performance
R-410A Chlorine-Free Refrigerant
* Complete warranty details available from your local dealer or by clicking on the Product Warranty link above. To receive the 10-Year Parts Limited Warranty, online registration must be completed within 60 days of installation. Online registration is not required in California or Quebec.
Product Features
R-410A chlorine-free refrigerant
Energy-efficiency compressor
Factory-installed liquid line filter drier
Copper tube/aluminum fin coil
Brass liquid & suction line valves
Contactor with lug connection
Ground lug connection
AHRI certified; ETL listed
Outstanding Warranty Protection
This unit is backed by a 10-Year Parts Limited Warranty. For a full description of all warranties applicable to this product, please review the consumer brochure or product warranty by clicking on the links above.
The GSX13 Air Conditioner uses the chlorine-free refrigerant R-410A and features operating sound levels that are among the lowest in the heating and cooling industry. With its 13 SEER rating, the GSX13 will help reduce energy consumption throughout the life of the system.
Additional Information
Before purchasing this appliance, read important information about its estimated annual energy consumption, yearly operating cost, or energy efficiency rating that is available from your retailer.


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Honor Student
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HP MediaSmart - Can't find deleted video file, but it shows in list of All Videos[ Edited ]
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01-07-2011 09:50 PM - edited 01-07-2011 10:27 PM
I have just installed or reinstalled HP MediaSmart. In the list of All Videos, several old videos that are no longer on my laptop show up; these cannot be deleted in HP MediaSmart's list. How can I get ride of them in MediaSmart list of All Videos?
Also, in the list of Folders, a folder shows that was deleted a long time ago and cannot be accessed any longer. How can I get rid of it in MediaSmart list of Folders?
I'm using Windows Vista.
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Anyone have any suggestions for transportation services for our wedding that would travel to the Braintree/Abington area. Also how did you go about setting up the transporation. What I was thinking was getting a rolls for my parents and I to drive to the church in and then have the stretch whatever or trolley take the bridesmaids to the church. Have the guys maybe carpool one or 2 of their own cars to the church. Then after the ceremony everyone get in the stretch/trolley. I wanted us to travel with the wedding party after the ceremony but figured maybe just my fiance and I should travel alone in the rolls since that will be our only quiet time...Will take any helpful suggestions ladies :)
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Transportation suggestions in Braintree/Abington area
Transportation suggestions in Braintree/Abington area
posted at 5/10/2011 9:40 AM EDT
Re: Transportation suggestions in Braintree/Abington area
posted at 5/10/2011 11:16 AM EDTWe used Boston Chauffeur for our limos and Brewster Coach for our party bus (after the reception). Both were excellent and I highly recommend.
I guess it depends on your bridal party size, but I would try to treat all parties equal. Like if you provide transportation to the church for your parents and bridesmaids, you should think about doing it for the groomsmen and in-laws. If the guys drive themselves to the church and everyone takes the same transportation to the reception, when/how do they get their vehicles? Just something to think about...keeping it as simple as possible.
I simply had 2 stretch limos: one for me, my parents and my BMs and the other for DH, his groomsmen and parents. Each limo made a few stops (pick up me and my BM's, then stopped at the hotel to get my parents, etc...). After the ceremony, everyone just hopped into which ever limo they wanted and obviously me and DH rode together. Most companies offer a 3-4hr wedding package to get you to the church and reception. We had a day wedding, so we rented a party bus to take us and any of our guests that were still in the party mood around to bars in Boston.
Depending on where everyone is staying, if you wanted to do just the Rolls and a Trolley, maybe you could have the trolley pick up the guys/in-laws and drop them off at the church since they have to be there early anyway (my DH was there at least an hour before I was doing pictures and getting ready to for arriving guests) and then go back and pick up your BMs. Just some ideas.
Good luck!
Re: Transportation suggestions in Braintree/Abington area
posted at 5/10/2011 1:53 PM EDTLeila! You are a genius. I never even thought to have the limo pick up the guys at the hotel 1st & then bring them to church & then have the limo go to my parents which is only 5 minutes from the church to get the girls. That would make things so much easier instead of figuring out everyone's car situation. Thank you very much :)
Re: Transportation suggestions in Braintree/Abington area
posted at 5/10/2011 3:42 PM EDTWe did as Leila suggested and had one trolley for the bridal party. It picked the guys up and dropped them at the church and then came back for myself and the girls. We used Trolleys by Tes and loved it. The trolley was adorable and everyone fit comfortably.


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Ever need to put together a quick flowchart or diagram but the tools in Microsoft Word aren't quite giving you the results you need? Gliffy is a quick and easy online solution that's free and simple to use.
Gliffy lets you piece together various types of diagrams, ranging from flowcharts, floor plans, and process charts. Simply drag shapes from the left panel into the document, add text, and link the shapes together with the line tool. There are plenty of different images and elements so you can organize your data.
Once created, you can sign up for a free Gliffy account and save your work on the website, or export it out as a JPG so you can print your chart out.
Check out Gliffy at www.gliffy.com and try it out next time you need to create a flowchart or plan!
Joshua Van Berkum is passionate about embracing the positive change that technology brings to small businesses. Having been in the "technology trenches" for years, as well as owning his own business for 15 years, Joshua is equipped with the patience and know-how that it takes to make technology decisions carefully and implement proper plans quickly. Still learning and always adapting, Joshua is continually striving to grow his customers' businesses through innovation, while ensuring his client's return on their technology investment.
Phone: (248) 737-7920
41 Burroughs Street
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Detroit, Michigan, 48202
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Executive Marketing Inc, listed under "Marketing Consultants" category, is located at 730 N La Salle Dr Chicago IL, 60610 and can be reached by 3129444920 phone number. Executive Marketing Inc has currently 0 reviews.This business profile is not yet claimed, and if you are the owner, claim your business profile for free. If you are not the owner you can invite this business to join by email or by phone.Browse all Marketing Consultants in Chicago IL. If you would like to see census data for this geographical location click here.
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text: Looking for Sieva pole Lima beans Mar 29, 2013 20:00:28 GMT -5 via the ProBoards App Quote Select PostDeselect PostLink to PostMemberGive GiftBack to Top Post by Drahkk on Mar 29, 2013 20:00:28 GMT -5 They're also known as Carolina Limas. Apparently there's been a crop failure the past two years running, and I'm having no luck finding a source. Does anyone have enough to share, or know where I might find some?MB


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Introduction and Summary
The book What's What? A Guessing Game by Mary Serfozo is an interactive book that keeps children guessing. They need to use their previous knowledge and skills to guess what will come next in the book. The book starts off with one page asking "What's hard?" The children then guess what it might be, and the next page says "A sidewalk is hard as a rock or a wall. So look out where you fall!" There is a picture of a child who was roller-blading and fell down on a sidewalk hurting himself. This book shows children who have experimented with different things such as things that are hard, soft, warm, cold, dry, wet, long, short, light and dark. On the wet page, it shows a child going out to play in the rain with a raincoat and galoshes on as he steps in the puddles getting all wet. What I like about this book is that on each page it depicts children actually doing or participating in activities or experiments as they get a hands on look at some of the topics. At the end of the book, it shows a cute puppy and that the puppy can be all of the things listed above.
Curriculum Connections
This book provides a direct representation of some experiments, physical characteristics and attributes, as well as the 5 senses (VA SOL K.1.a and K.2.a,b). The simple pictures in the book which match to the simple words and sentences make it an appropriate book for younger children (VA SOL K.1.k). The format of the book is in questions and answer format. The book asks a question "What's warm?" and then before you turn the page, the children have a chance to make predictions about what is warm (VA SOL K.1.g). This book is very simple and keeps things easy and interesting for the children.
Additional Resources
1. Guessing Game Lesson Plan– This is a very short lesson plan idea. It is a great idea for an activity for the first week of school. It helps to get the children excited about what they will be learning in school. Also, after you read the book, you could use this activity as an introduction to the lesson plan for the day.
2. 5 Senses Lesson Plan-This page offers a lesson plan idea for learning about the 5 senses. The book touches on all of the five senses and this would be a lesson to bounce off of the senses discussed in the book.
3. 5 Senses Activity Book-This website offers pages for children to trace and then color. Each page has one of the 5 senses on it along with an example ( like hearing a a bee buzz by). It would be a good idea to have the children complete all of them and then staple them together to make booklet.
General Information
Book: What's What?: A Guessing Game
Author: Mary Serfozo
Illustrator: Keiko Narahashi
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Publication Date: 1996
Grade Range: K or 1


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AshleaFollow Ashlea
28-year-old Female living in Newcastle, New South Wales Australia
My passions in life are travel, framily/friends, and being creative. I have been overseas seven times in the past 5 years, and I am about to embark on another great adventure through USA/Canada in August. The wonderful places I have visited include: Europe, New Zealand, United States, Malaysia, China, and Bali.
Level 2 Traveler
2 tours
2 countries
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LA to the Bay: 15th - 24th July, 2009
Hey! i was just wondering who else is going on this tour?...
Ashlea said
about la la to the bay meeting places north america
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Grand Northern (NY - LA) 19th Aug 2011
Hi everyone! i am booked in for this trip! just wondering...
coralee said
about grand northern meeting places north america
ashlea responded2 Likes29 replies


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Perfect your 60-second business pitchMar 28
Is what you say at business networking meetings as powerful as it could be? And what about how you say it? You now have the chance to ensure your 60-second business introduction is as memorable as it should be. And sounds as impressive as it should. International speaker and broadcaster Michael Dodd is running a three-hour masterclass on perfecting your business networking pitch. A professional...
Through the eclipticMar 27
Finally managed to hobble out of bed and publish my blog www.georgeemsden.co.uk
Business – what time in the morning?Mar 25
Friday 20th March 2009 Kirsty Joly from Perfectly Tempered kicks off, fresh from her holiday to tell us that Mothers Day is imminent but that she can still organise last minute chocolate orders for anyone who may have left it a bit too late. Easter is also almost upon us and is happy to take advance orders. Kirsty is looking to meet Head of Housekeeping and Hotel Managers. Roy Duncan from RG...
Waking up to a Blue Sun & a Yellow SkyMar 20
www.georgeemsden.co.uk George's latest blog
Friday the 13thMar 16
On this, the second of three unlucky Fridays this year, Mike Chan of Shadow Finance kicked us off with the chilling news that there are less than 10% of the mortgage deals on offer now than there were this time last year. Mike is looking for folks having difficulties securing a mortgage in the light of that news. Richard Houldsworth of Splatt Print, still worryingly too excited about his new...


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Gotta say there is a lot of sense to this rule and I'm not surprised there has been no resistance to speak of.
Yes, unfortunate for anyone taken down by another rider's error but that's the cut and thrust of 'racing'.
But its unfortunate for multiple accidents caused by a crash damaged bike leaking fluids (often unseen and beyond the riders abilities to respond as quickly as another rider's racing error - ie its not 'racing') because that's lack of race meeting management.


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A new study by researchers at EDC's Center for Research on High Risk Behaviors offers insights into factors that may promote smoking prevention and cessation among young women in economically distressed communities.
In a special issue devoted to smoking cessation in the American Journal of Public Health, HHD researchers Drs. Ann Stueve and Lydia O'Donnell report on data from the Reach for Health study, a longitudinal study that has followed a large sample of urban African American and Latino young people from middle school into early adulthood. Over 500 young women were re-surveyed when they were 19-20 years of age and were asked about their reproductive and childrearing status, smoking history, and experiences of intimate partner violence. Analyses examined whether women who were pregnant, trying to become pregnant, or raising children were more likely to be current smokers, and whether smoking was related to intimate partner violence.
Stueve and O'Donnell found that young women raising children were more likely than those who were not to currently smoke or to have smoked in the past. For instance, 25.9 percent of mothers smoked regularly (defined as smoking weekly or more frequently) compared to 13.2 percent of non-mothers. Women who were currently pregnant or trying to get pregnant did not appear to differ from other women.
Since young mothers are at an increased risk of partner violence, Stueve and O'Donnell also examined whether being the victim of intimate partner violence was a risk factor for smoking or a deterrent to cessation. After controlling for smoking history, parenting status, and other demographic characteristics, they found that women with a history of victimization were more than twice as likely as those who had not reported such experiences to regularly smoke.
These results add to evidence that shows victimization has negative effects in terms of numerous health problems. Stressors of early childrearing, as well as domestic violence, may contribute to ongoing smoking behaviors.
"These results underscore the importance of helping to address the multiple challenges that women living in economically disadvantaged areas face," says Ann Stueve, Senior Scientist with EDC and lead author of the study. "We also observed that about one-third of the young women who reported regular smoking had attempted to quit during the past year, but that fewer than 10 percent had either attended a smoking cessation class or sought medical advice. Interventions aimed at reducing parenting stress and intimate partner violence may be helpful in reducing smoking among urban women."
The article, entitled "Continued smoking and smoking cessation among urban young adult women: Findings from the Reach for Health Longitudinal Study," was published in the August 2007 special issue of the American Journal of Public Health. This entire issue focused on smoking and smoking cessation.
This study is part of the Center's ongoing work to identify effective strategies to promote health and reduce risks in economically disadvantaged minority communities. Funding for this project came from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHHD).
Originally published on March 1, 2008


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Southern states are moving to tighten voting rules
MIAMI – Emboldened by the Supreme Court decision that struck down the heart of the Voting Rights Act, a growing number of Republican-led states are moving aggressively to tighten voting rules. Lawsuits by the Obama administration and voting rights activists say those efforts disproportionately affect minorities.
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Inherently Funny
Bad food that lazy parents send their kids to school with.
Added by a Guest on December 20, 2008 | 9 people like this You Like This | Unlike
still better than sloppy joes at the cafeteria
i wish i had these back in kindergarten
Says AtSchool on January 12, 2009
What does a non-lazy parent send with their kid?
Says Stobrawa on February 2, 2009
Kraft Krap.
Says Bobjackass on February 18, 2009
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Sundown Vitamin B12 Complex Sublingual Liquid - 2 Oz
Our Price:$4.85


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Equipment Managers
This is a mod to make swapping equipment easier. You add equipment slots to a bar and mouseover on the bar will create a menu of all items in your bags that can go in that slot.
Config: /itemrack
Allows you to create multiple outfits and equip them with a click of your mouse. You can layer outfits, create outfits optimized for a particular attribute (ie, fire resist or maximum defense), and have outfits which automatically equip based on events like mounting up, stealthing or changing stances and forms.
WoWInterface, Curse
Review: WoW Insider
Gear Ratings
Pawn performs item value assessments to make it easy to decide which items are better than others. It's similar to mods such as Tank Points, but much more general, and applicable to any class and situation. You can use it to help create multiple gear sets, or decide whether to give up those ten points of stamina for two more points of fire resistance.
Pawn is a mod for hardcore World of Warcraft players. You're probably not going to like it if you're not the sort of person who agonizes over stats and itemization. But, if you're the kind of person who goes through Thottbot looking for exactly the items you want for your gear sets, builds Excel spreadsheets, installs TheoryCraft... well, Pawn might just be right up your alley. If you can't bear the thought of hand-editing configuration files in Notepad, turn back now.
Curse, WoWInterface
InspectEquip attaches a panel to the inspect window that shows a list of the character's equipment sorted by source (i.e. Raid: Ulduar, PvP, Crafted...). This gives you a quick overview of a character's equipment. InspectEquip also adds detailed item source information (including boss names, item prices for Emblem rewards etc) to all item tooltips.
Misc Gear Mods
Allows you to zoom, reposition, and rotate the UI's builtin models so that you may get a better view. Should support all models that you can interact: Dressing Room (including Auction House's), Character Info, Inspect, Pet Info/Stable, Tabard, Mount/Companion.
WoWInterface, Curse
ItemLevelDisplay adds a tiny layer on each equipment slot in your paperdoll frame showing ItemLevel, Socket status & Enchant status.
Provides at-a-glance information inside of the character pane showing gear level, durability, enchant status and gem status..
MogIt is an addon that will help you find the perfect item for your Transmogrification set! Database shows how each item in the game looks. Includes 3d tooltip showing how items look when you mouse over them.
Review: WoW Insider
oGlow will light up your items, by adding a quality border to them. It will only display this border for common quality items and above.


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Sen. Bernie Sanders to take Sen. Jim Inhofe and GOP to Task on Climate Change
NewsOK.com (blog)
UPDATE: Sanders has been on the Senate floor for more than 45 minutes challenging Inhofe's statements and view on climate change. Inhofe stood up at 2:50 p.m. central time to ask for time to respond to Sanders' comments. Inhofe will likely begin …
Sanders: Inhofe's position on climate change is 'dead and dangerously wrong'
Bernie Sanders challenges global-warming skeptic
Sen. Sanders Claims Inhofe Is "Dead Wrong" On Global Warming


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Well, I think the subject pretty much sums it up.
I'm in the middle of writing a Metal Gear Solid fan fiction (the first part is already available to the public to read here) and I am in dire need of an artist to do the art for it. I have an original character that needs to be brought to life and a few moments and scenes from the story that I'd like to see illustrated. If you are seriously interested, message me through the site or comment on this journal.
Now, here's the deal. It probably would help a great deal if you're a Metal Gear Solid fan and kind of knew what the canon characters looked like and the feel of the game. It's not required but it would be greatly appreciated. Also, I really can't pay you anything...but, you will get full credit for your work (of course) and I can let you read future parts before they are published to the internet for the rest of the world.
Note: For the semi-serious nature of this story, I don't think anime style would do.


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Discovering the Secret
Discovering the Secret
Beliefnet Feature from Oprah.com
People around the world have been talking about a movie so powerful that it can change the course of your life. This movie,The Secret
, was created by Australian Rhonda Byrne, and she says that if you follow its philosophy, you can create the life you want--whether that means getting out of debt, finding a more fulfilling job or even falling in love.
Rhonda says she stumbled on what she calls The Secret at the end of 2004. At the time, everything in Rhonda's life had fallen apart-physically, emotionally and financially-and she was in "total despair." Then her father died suddenly, and she was worried about her grief-stricken mother. "I wept and wept and wept, and I didn't want my daughter to see me sobbing," Rhonda says.
That's when Rhonda's daughter gave her a copy ofThe Science of Getting Rich
, a book written in 1910 by Wallace D. Wattles. "Something inside of me had me turn the pages one by one, and I can still remember my tears hitting the pages as I was reading it," Rhonda says. "It gave me a glimpse of The Secret. It was like a flame inside of my heart. And with every day since, it's just become a raging fire of wanting to share all of this with the world."
FromThe Oprah Winfrey Show
"The Secret."
The Zen of Military HealingHow Western medicine and Eastern techniques helped one Vietnam vet cope with...
Thomas Jefferson and John Adams TranscriptSQuire Rushnell shares a compelling Godwinks Story about President Thomas Jefferson...
Alice and Jack TranscriptSQuire Rushnell shares the Godwink Story of how Alice asked God to help her...
Abraham Lincoln and John F Kennedy TranscriptSQuire Rushnell shares the godwinks that link President Abraham Lincoln and...
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text: Astrophysicists catch hypergiant star in its death throes Science 28 September 11 by Mark Brown ESO/E. Lagadec Astrophysicists using the European Southern Observatory have found a colossal star -- one of the largest in our galaxy -- in its final throes. As astronomers get a front row seat to its violent death, it could provide invaluable insight into the life and death of stellar objects.The star has the catchy name IRAS 17163-3907, and it lives in the heart of the Milky Way in the constellation of Scorpius. It was first catalogued in 1983, but it took more than 25 years for someone to identify it as an ultra-rare yellow hypergiant.Only three stars in the hundred billion odd in our Milky Way galaxy have ever been identified as yellow hypergiants -- unstable, erupting stars with up to a few million years left before going supernova.It took such a long time, and such a powerful telescope, to identify its true nature because while the star is half a million times brighter than our Sun, much of its light is in the infra-red part of the spectrum, making it relatively dim to traditional telescopes.The star's violent past can be seen in two shells of dust and gas, belched out by the unstable object. It's this formation that's led astronomers to nickname it the Fried Egg Nebula.The outermost shell was puffed out almost one thousand years ago, while the inner shell was ejected within the last 300 years. The size of these puffy extremities will tell astrophysicists about what massive stars do when they approach supernova."Every now and then, we have a big leap forward in our understanding. This could be one of those moments," said René Oudmaijer of the School of Physics and Astronomy at the University of Leeds. "It's a very rare object from a stellar evolution perspective, and the double shell is a particularly important discovery. It tells us for the first time that material is ejected during several periods and not steadily in this late phase of a star's life." "The next gasp might be this giant star's last one" noted Oudmaijer. Edited by Olivia Solon Latest on wired.co.uk


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Reviews by Sinkatsu
Good purchaseSinkatsu | June 19, 2013 | Review of Borderlands 2 NA Overflow 1 - PC
The first game was fantastic and fun, played through it a dozen times, the second one is even better with more weapons, special legendaries, and a cast of funny/enjoyable, and memorable characters as long as you're into the crude humor I am. I just wish the lag between distant mates could be fixed, but thus is technology and latency. Not the games fault.


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BEAST is Dead,
Long live The BEST!
Special Ad
Section (FUNNY!)
Top 10 Reasons
to Vote Republican
Why The Environment
Doesn't Matter-
Al Uthman
Banal Retentive
- Matt Taibbi
The Beer
Mystic Manifesto
- Paul Salamone
Matt Taibbi
Comes Clean on Abu Ghraib
A Gallivan's Life
- Seamus
ArtVoice Review
-Tone At
Buffalo in Briefs
Blotter -
Matt Taibbi
at Birth???
Craig's Reading
- your letters
Kino Korner
Roland Emmerich
BEAST BASH A Baffling
Baby Steps
Review Cubby
Fried - Jason
the Angry Flower -
Stephen Notely
Load -
Darren Longo
in Briefs
Smell of Spring
-- The trees are green, garden flowers have sprouted and bloomed
it's an unseasonably beautiful Spring and after a long, cold winter
we've come to some painful conclusions about our life. First of
all, we're ashamed of our bad attitude, it's been mean, vicious
and generally only polite to close friends and hot young girls.
We've hurt people with our words and felt like complete jerks in
the process, and for that, we're more than sorry. We didn't start
writing this column with the idea of badmouthing politicians, city
workers, businessmen and so on, calling people scumbags and stuff
like that, it just sort of happened. The pain in our heart has become
unbearable, however, and it's time to change our ways. That's it,
no excuses, just pure, soul searching honesty and you loyal readers
won't suffer through any more bad news on current events in Buffalo.
So break out your bubble gum and soda pop, sit back, relax, and
enjoy the all-new G-rated News In Briefs. No more hurt feelings
or cheap shots. Promise.
Marriage -- It's a wonderful thing when two people are
in love and willing to devote their lives to each
other. What's even better is when these two can share all their
clothes, hold hands at the local pee trough and never worry if there's
only one toothbrush in the house. In the first gay marriage for
Erie County, none other than Joel Giambra and Andrew Rudnick, our
valiant public saviors, took the plunge and were married in secret
by the County Executive himself. A reception afterwards at the Buffalo
Club found the two grooms beaming with gay pride amidst the cheers
and applause of the cream of county elite. Although they've publicly
denied the rumors, word around Buffalo Niagara Partnership headquarters
is that hubby Joel stops by frequently for a little lunchtime nut
stroking from the ambidextrous Andrew who revels in post-encounter
lip-smacking and effusive mustache-brushing in the hallways, telling
anyone who will listen he's in love. We knew there was something
up both their asses and aren't really surprised it's each other;
they make such a perfect couple. Love is grand for these two and
we're a better county for it.
-- A West Side rat infestation hit home for some undeserving rich
folks, including Mayor Masiello's personal
Eden over on Penhurst Park. County health officials have been too
busy enforcing the smoking ban to investigate, but they're pretty
sure the rats are coming from unsanitary stores, restaurants and
poor people living on the wrong side of Elmwood Avenue. The Mayor
took decisive action in hiring Gene's Ethical Exterminations, a
local company who use kind words, sirloin steak and patience to
coax furry little buggers out of domiciles instead of death traps.
It's been ten days and Gene's diligent crew estimate ninety percent
of the rats have been relocated back to the Lower West Side where
they belong. A spokesmen admitted, "We can only banish so many
rats from the Mayors' house; he'll have to take preventative measures,
otherwise they'll be back." One thing we can always say about
our Mayor is that he's one hell of a humane person and has no personal
qualms about all the rats around him.
A Reality -- Long scoffed at as
a corrupt politician's pipe dream, county officials are
just about ready to announce plans for the construction of the biggest
stadium in the world right here in downtown Buffalo. Nicknamed the
Enormo-Dome by naysayers, the $2 billion stadium will have the capacity
to seat over 650,000 people and will take up more than thirty square
city blocks. It's believed the stadium will make Buffalo the North
American capital for soccer, and if that fails, the Bills will be
induced to move in along with any other teams ready to sign up,
including Little Leagues. County Executive Joel Giambra gave taxpayers
plenty of reassurance, saying "It's a win-win situation for
everyone involved. We're borrowing the $2 billion at a great rate
and it will only take a hundred and twenty-five years or so to pay
off. The Enormo-Dome is a project my advisors and I believe will
be a great boost for the city, the county and Buffalo Office Interiors."
All construction work has been pre-awarded to close friends of the
County Executive, people he knows we can trust to give us the best
value for the price to make the dream a reality. This sort of initiative
and integrity is pure brilliance, only places like Mexico have half
million-seat stadiums and if this doesn't bring the masses to Buffalo,
nothing will!
Presses Roll -- The Buffalo News
held a huge party for itself, celebrating the joyful debut of the
new $40 million presses which began rolling out our daily dose of
Truth, Justice and the American Way full time. Employees were actually
kissing the darn things, so grateful were they to finally be a part
of a contemporary news organization. Warren Buffet was ecstatic
in his conference call, basking in the adulation of advertisers
and subscribers alike. Although he was not personally present because
he was too busy counting all the money he takes out of Buffalo,
Buffet sent his warmest regards to all News employees, including
the forty-some party poopers outside who got fired because the new
presses rendered them obsolete. Truly, it was a historic day for
all of us, the century is only three and a half years old and we
have a fine paper to guide us through the next millennia and beyond!
Don't you just feel sorry for all those poor suckers who abandoned
Buffalo for greener pastures in the '70s, '80s, and '90s while the
new paper was being planned in such fine detail? Ahhh, the payoff
is always worth the wait. Of course, the new presses broke down
the other day and prevented the 'sunrise' edition from getting printed-but
the gay dalmation was back up and running by evening!
Employees Pitch In -- In the most unselfish move in Buffalo
civil administration history, city teachers,
police, firemen and other unionized workers agreed to across the
board pay cuts. In a joint statement, union representatives declared,
"We realize we've had it really, really good for so many decades
and the citizens of Buffalo deserve to pay what's realistic, not
what's outrageously exorbitant. Gone are the ridiculous salaries,
the sweetheart health care programs, and monstrous pensions. Our
new motto is Fast, Efficient, and Fun!" It's a great gesture
which will do more to ease the budget crisis than giving away all
the parks, water authorities, and street departments in the world.
In other news, hundreds of lazy, inefficient, unproductive civil
employees working pure patronage jobs decided to give up the charade,
quit their jobs and do something positive with their lives. We salute
you all and wish you luck, welcome to the Buffalo the rest of us
live in.
Admits Scam -- The venerable Niagara Mohawk, supplier
of all the juice in Erie County and beyond,
came clean this week, admitting they've gouged the community since
the turbines first started turning. Instead of claiming most of
the power generated by Niagara Falls goes downstate or up to Canada
as usual, a spokesman bluntly conceded the high rates in this area
are inflated and usurious: "I mean come on, people in Arizona
run their air conditioners twenty four hours a day, seven days a
week and their monthly bill's half what Western New Yorkers pay.
This is the Seventh Wonder of the world; you think some piss-ant
Hoover Dam outproduces us? I don't think so. From now on, Niagara
Mohawk rates will reflect the true price of electrical supply and
that means your bill will drop about fifty percent. Don't worry,
we'll still make a hefty profit, only we'll be doing it in honest,
good faith from now on." Grateful citizens are urged to send
flowers and warm, loving letters to NiMo executives for seeing the
Kaplan Not A Bitch! -- We wouldn't
normally be caught dead shopping in a Wegman's out in
suburbia, but some things cannot be helped. What a surprise it was
to see the lovely former Channel 2 anchor scouting out sanitary
products and toilet paper, it was an opportunity not to be passed
by. We sidled up to good ol' Carol and pointed out the sale on 24
packs of White Cloud and she smiled like the middle-aged vixen she
really is. After helping load her cart up we chatted amiably about
the great weather, our affinity for sensual pleasures like beer,
and the wacky world of unemployment. Out in the parking lot one
thing lead to another and all we can say is it was wild! Women devoid
of any sexual inhibitions are few and far between, throw in a little
exhibitionism and you've got the recipe for some awesome X-rated
fun in the old SUV. Needless to say, we apologized profusely for
ever knocking Carol in these pages and promised only glowing endorsements
from now on. Look for Carol's Happy Ending Massage Parlor to open
soon where her true talents can finally be fully exploited.
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© 2004 The Beast