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Mind Your Manners: Always receive a gift with gratitude
CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- "Oh honey, who wouldn't love this?!" exclaimed my mother-in-law to my then 5-year-old future husband. He had just presented her with perhaps the ugliest gift ever: a brown ceramic pigeon figurine hanging from a rope.
She told me how excited he was when he gave it to her, and how she wouldn't, for all the money in the world, let him know that it was hideous. She graciously thanked him, and proudly hung it in the window above the kitchen sink, where it remained until we were married.
Shortly thereafter, my mother-in-law happily re-gifted the pigeon to me, and I reacted with the same gratitude. In fact, it now has a special place in my house -- the basement, covered up, in a corner, in the dark.
Why am I telling you this? To make a point that no matter what the gift, one should always receive it with kindness and gratitude. After all, isn't it the thought that counts?
What brought the pigeon to my memory was a conversation that took place during a holiday cocktail party. Several people involved in the conversation commented on how rude and unthankful some people are after receiving a gift.
They told of seeing gift recipients roll their eyes after opening a present, to others not even mumbling an expression of thanks. In fact, one person said that after she presented a gift to someone, they immediately said that they were going to re-gift what she had just given them. How rude! One should never make the gift giver feel bad.
During the holiday gift-giving season, be sure to graciously receive a gift, no matter how ugly or unwanted, by remembering the following:
Receiving gifts requires humility and grace. In fact, in some countries there is a strict protocol. In Singapore, for example, gifts are not unwrapped in the presence of the giver so as not to appear greedy. In China, a gift should be refused three times before accepting, and in Russia, gifts for adults are opened in the presence of others, while those for children are done in private. The Japanese custom is to refuse a gift at least twice. When it is received, it is done so with both hands.
Our ability to receive a gift is just as important as giving one. Make sure your acceptance is genial and kind. Also, remember to write a thank-you note. After all, isn't that what good manners are all about?
Oh, and the brown pigeon? It comes out of the basement and is proudly hung over the kitchen sink ... when my mother-in-law comes to visit.
Pam Harvit MS is a certified corporate etiquette and protocol consultant. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.com.


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Last-Minute Thanksgiving Inspiration, with Recipes from the Seasonal Pantry Archives
I confess that I am not particularly attached to the traditional Thanksgiving meal, though I do appreciate–and often honor–what my friend James has to say on the subject. "It doesn't matter how good the food is," he says, "it's the ritual, it's that we are all eating the same thing." This, I totally get it. Even so, I don't mind ignoring the ritual now and then. Plus, there are ways to honor it without adhering too strictly to family recipes. I'm… Read More »

subset: commoncrawl


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Our new, 12-story main hospital adds 750,000 square feet of clinical space. A groundbreaking research facility adds a third building to our top 10 NIH-funded Research Institute. Convenient underground parking freed up six acres of green space for trees, pathways and gardens. And a LEED-certified Central Energy plant makes the entire enterprise environmentally friendly. The Children's Hospital new campus totals over 2.1 million square feet for the overall expansion. In conjunction with the campus expansion, we have also reached out into the surrounding neighborhood with an expansive community revitalization effort; Healthy Neighborhoods, Healthy Families.
View our interactive map of the new facilities.
Nationwide Children's Hospital will open the doors to a new main hospital and third research building in June 2012. Our campus expansion project will redefine how care is delivered.
We approached the design and construction of our campus expansion with the same commitment we approach our patient care. The team assembled represents the very best in the fields of architecture and design. They worked alongside our medical staff, and our patients and their families, who provided design input. We built a full-scale mock-up of a hospital floor. We built a Level One trauma room. We built fully equipped and furnished patient rooms. We built nurses stations. Then we analyzed. Refined. And perfected.
Since a group of central Ohio women first dreamed of this hospital, and we've grown from a local treasure to a national resource, our mission has remained the same. Improve the lives of children regardless of a family's ability to pay. As the city celebrated its bicentennial in 2012, Nationwide Children's celebrated the biggest achievement in its 120-year history, changing both the Columbus skyline and the future of pediatric care. Because when a child needs a hospital, everything matters.
Live Webcam
Interactive Map of Our Campus
Quick Links


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Search Swinburne Research Bank
Please use this identifier to cite or link to this item: http://hdl.handle.net/1959.3/1219
|Download PDF (CAIA-TR-030730A) (Adobe Acrobat PDF, 138 KB)
- Title
- Experimental intranet services over Swinburne's 802.11b wireless infrastructure
- Author(s)
- Van den Bergen, Paul A.; Armitage, Grenville J.
- Abstract
- This paper falls under the MAGIC project which deals with mobile wireless networks. As part of the MAGIC project, we wished to advertise our presence and demonstrate the sorts of services wireless technology can provide. Swinburne University has as part of its IT infrastructure a wireless network covering the Hawthorn Campus. It is worth leveraging this infrastructure to further the research goals of the group. To this end, an EPIA mini-ITX PC was configured using FreeBSD to provide local Intranet services to the Swinburne Wireless Infrastructure (Swinnet). Swinnet consists of a number of Access Points distributed around campus. The 802.11b traffic is bridged between Access Points through the Swinburne ethernet backbone on a specific VLAN. To enable the desktop PC to access this traffic, that VLAN traffic was trunked to the particular wall socket to which the PC is attached. Native ethernet packets are therefore presented to (or from) the desktop box so as it appears to reside on the 802.11b network ethernet segment.
- Publication type
- Technical report
- Research centre
- Swinburne University of Technology. Faculty of Information and Communication Technologies. Centre for Advanced Internet Architectures
- Publication year
- 2003
- Keyword(s)
- 802.11b; CAIA; FreeBSD; MAGIC; mini-ITX; VIA EPIA; Wireless network
- Format
- text/xml
- Publisher URL
- Copyright
- Copyright © 2003 Swinburne University of Technology.
- Full text


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Looking good. Seeing a Sketchup model again I want to fire up the software myself... must resist temptation.
It's an effective, but rather simple model, meaning there's not many details. But if you are going to add more buildings you don't want too much detail anyway, because Sketchup will become too sluggish.
Are you going to post your work on the town as well?


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I've always been a fan of Dance Party Massacre and I've been covering the Boston based indie brand since the beginning of this blog. With every new release, and especially with the release of the Season 3 line of T-Shirts, they grow creatively and expand on their constant themes of gore, Â monsters and partying. Founder Alex Dakoulas brings his A game with this new release and hopes it is the start to bigger things for DPM.
"They say third time's a charm, and I see good things happening. I know I will be contacting more stores about carrying the line, planning some new ventures, expanding our products, and speaking with press/magazines/newspapers to get the brand out there. Kicking off this season we put out our first hoodie, a sick sweatshirt design (which is not entirely horror—something that will continue), our first women's specific shirt, and worked with the awesome Matt Skiff again as well bringing in a great artist by the name of Jessica Hess for the Trilogy design."
Survival Kit is my definite favorite from Season 3 with Sweet Party coming in a close second!


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Former Congressman William Jefferson
The corruption case against William J. Jefferson started on a suspicion of bribery. In 2007, a federal grand jury indicted Jefferson on sixteen charges related to corruption. In 2009 he was tried in Virginia on corruption charges. On August 5, 2009, he was found guilty of 11 of the 16 corruption counts and was sentenced to 13 years in November. It is the longest sentence ever handed down to a congressman for bribery. (Photo: NewsOne)


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The Economic and Social Development of Regions program offers advanced certificate and master's programs to prepare students to understand, analyze, and intervene in the economic and social development of regions. The program is interdisciplinary, drawing on the fields of economics, history, political science, psychology, sociology, and urban planning. Graduates may choose to continue their formal education in a doctoral program, or move directly to a career in:
See our program requirements below.
The Merrimack Valley, birthplace of the American industrial revolution and home to two centuries of immigrants, offers a fascinating laboratory and backdrop for studying how regions develop and evolve. Learn how to use technical tools such as geographic information systems and statistical analysis, while simultaneously conducting field research in actual communities and industries. Investigate the relations between local development and the national and international economies. Examine the social and environmental dimensions of development. Compare regional strategies for development from around the globe.
You will learn how to look at a region as a whole, discover innovative solutions, and intervene in communities for positive change. You will probe the historical roots of development and explore the theories that illuminate it. You will experience first-hand the economic and social development of regions.
The department offers two advanced certificates and a master's degree. Follow the links for more information on the requirements for the:
Students in the program can go on to:
Our faculty has extensive national and international networks to assist in career placement.
The Master's program also prepares students to continue their education in a doctoral program in social science, public policy, or related fields, including the University's Work Environment Program.
The graduate certificates require four courses. The Master of Arts requires 30 to 33 credits, which usually involves ten courses. A full-time MA student typically takes two years to complete the program. We welcome part-time students, as well. All core courses, and some electives, are offered at evening times. Follow the links for more information on the requirements for the Master of Arts and the Graduate Certificates.
To apply, or for more information on tuition and fees, go to Graduate Admissions.


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Zender: Music to hear, etc / Zender, Klangforum Wien
1 CD / Kairos Music Production / 2000-01-01Works: Hans Zender: Music to hear, for soprano, flute, echo flute & ensemble. Sonnet from William Shakespeare; Litanei, for 3 cellos; Muji no Kyo, for voice, flute, cello & keyboard; Furin no kyo, for sopra...
Performers: Emtage, Katrina; Furrer, Eva; Leitner, Benedikt; Lindenbaum, Andreas; Moffat, Julie; Molinari, Donna Wagner; Schueler, Roland
Conductors: Zender, Hans
Ensemble: Klangforum Wien
"He is also a composer of the avant-garde persuasion, though his kind of sound-bending and intellectually fraught material is more in the rear-guard today. Most...continue...
read more Login or Create an Account to write a review


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May 5, 2016
Jacksonville drivers will hopefully see shorter lines at the local Division of Motor Vehicles as it extends its hours starting this weekend.
The NCDMV will launch expanded hours at eight more driver license offices from the mountains to the coast starting Saturday, May 4th. The Jacksonville office will be open Saturdays from 8:00 a.m. to noon and, beginning on Monday, May 6, also for an additional hour Monday - Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.
NCDMV first began expanded hours March 2nd in Greenville, North Raleigh, and West Charlotte. Offices in South Fayetteville, South Durham and North Charlotte were added April 6th. As a result of Saturday hours at these six offices, DMV has completed over 2,000 issuances during March and April.
Most regular driver license services, including regular road tests, will be offered on Saturdays.
The Jacksonville DMV office is located at 299 Wilmington Highway, US Hwy. 17 South and can be reached at (910) 347-3613.
Click Here to access the online Public Inspection File
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July 15, 2013
Tom Kakert
July is a time when high school basketball players can get out and earn scholarship offers at various AAU events across the country. This weekend in Indianapolis, Same Logwood did just that. The 6-foot-6 wing prospect from LaPorte, Indiana raised his stock quite a bit and picked up an offer from the Iowa Hawkeyes on Monday afternoon. ...More... To continue reading this article you must be a member. Sign Up Now!
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Mallet/Stake PullerOriginal Price:$4.99 Current Price: $2.98Great tool for driving stakes into the ground, has a stake extractor in handle and it's rugged and durable. 12 oz. blaze orange color. WARNING: Choking hazard. Small parts. Not for children under 3 years. Learn More
Coghlan's 1009 Skewer Tent Pegs - 9"/4-pack$4.99Set of four twisted square aluminum tent pegs provides solid holding power in tough terrain. Perfect for larger, family-style tents or canopies. Made from 6061 aluminum, these pegs are designed to retain their shape and are almost impossible to bend. Learn More
Coghlan's Ultralight Tent Stakes$4.99Orange anodized aluminum tent stake features a three-sided design that makes it nearly indestructible. Versatile enough to work well with just about any tent and durable enough to last for years. Special notch at top of stake helps secure guy lines; attached nylon pull-cord allows for easy removal. Learn More
Pole Jstakes$0.99Pole Jstakes Learn More


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May 5, 2016
RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) -- The General Assembly appears ready to pass a law requiring North Carolina public schools to teach old-school lessons of cursive writing and multiplication tables.
The Senate voted by a wide margin Thursday in favor of a bill directing state education leaders to ensure students are instructed how to write legibly in cursive by the end of fifth grade. Students also would be taught to memorize times tables.
A bill with identical content passed the House three weeks ago, but the legislation can't go to Gov. Pat McCrory's desk yet because they are two separate pieces of legislation. One bill must be approved by two chambers.
Bill proponents have been worried because cursive isn't part of the "common core" curriculum North Carolina and more than 40 states now implement.
Previous Story
RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) -- Some North Carolina lawmakers want to require that school children learn how to write and multiply even in today's modern world.
A legislative committee on Tuesday approved a proposal to change state law and require public schools to teach cursive handwriting and force students to memorize their multiplication tables. The proposal now moves to the House budget-writing committee.
The back-to-basics bill approved by the House Education Committee directs schools to teach handwriting so that students can write legible documents before finishing fifth grade.
The proposal had little opposition. But some legislators wondered if fifth-grade teachers would be held accountable for students who didn't develop their skills. Others noted the bill doesn't define how to judge students' competency in multiplication.
Copyright 2016 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.
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Difference between revisions of "Production Working Groups"
From Joomla! Documentation
(Added Internet of Things Working Group)
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For further information go to the [[Finder Integration Working Group|Finder Integration Working Group page]].
For further information go to the [[Finder Integration Working Group|Finder Integration Working Group page]].
===Bug Squad===
===Bug Squad===
Revision as of 17:12, 29 September 2011
Database Working Group
There's plenty of work to do to improve the way that Joomla works with databases. We need database experts who can look at optimising queries, improving the data model and making Joomla work across multiple databases. If you are a database junkie and you'd like to help then contact Omar Ramos.
- Contact: Omar Ramos (mailto:firstname.lastname@example.com)
Finder integration Working Group
Improving Joomla search is something that has been requested for a long time as the native Joomla search function leaves a lot to be desired. Because we want to move towards a unified content model it is really important that we address search as part of that. Many of the issues have already been successfully addressed by JXtended with their Finder component. However, Finder will only work with Joomla 1.5. What we need is to get Finder updated for the current Joomla version so it can be considered for possible inclusion in a forthcoming Joomla release.
- GitHub repository
- Coordinators: Michael Babker, Omar Ramos
- Contact: Chris Davenport (mailto:email@example.com)
For further information go to the Finder Integration Working Group page.
Internet of Things Working Group
This working group is looking into using the Joomla Platform to simplify and open source the "internet of things". Using several popular input/output devices to allow the world to connect to the internet and back to the world; for the device's data to be easily displayed on Joomla sites and Joomla sites to "talk back" to the environment.
Coordinator: Phil Walton (mailto:email@example.com)
Bug Squad
For further information see Bug Squad.
- Coordinators: Mark Dexter
- Contact: Mark Dexter (mailto:firstname.lastname@example.com).
Documentation Working Group
The Documentation Working Group is a standing team of people dedicated to improving Joomla's documentation. This includes both user and developer documentation. Our primary focus is this wiki, but we are also responsible for maintaining api.joomla.org and other resources.
- Contact: Chris Davenport (mailto:firstname.lastname@example.com)
Joomla Security Strike Team
This team is for experienced Joomla users and developers who want to help test and fix reported security issues. If you are interested in helping, please contact Mark Dexter. Thanks!
Translations Working Group
For further information see Translations Working Group.
- Contact: Jean-Marie Simonet
User Experience Working Group
The User Experience Working Group is a standing team focused on the Joomla User Experience. This includes the Joomla administrator user interface, sample templates, sample data and any other related aspects. The team will have a dedicated site up shortly to facilitate collaboration.
- Contact: Ron Severdia (mailto:email@example.com)
Proposing a new working group
If you would like to propose a new working group to be added to this list, please follow this procedure:-
- choose a title for the working group.
- write a brief overview of the job that the working group will do.
- list the success criteria for the working group.
- list the initial coordinator (or coordinators if more than one), with contact email address(es).
- send your proposal to Chris Davenport [1] who will ensure that your proposal is considered by the PLT.


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David Mills Scholarship Established
By Lolis Eric Elie
On March 30, 2010, David Mills collapsed on the set during the filming of an episode of 'Treme.' He died shortly thereafter of a brain aneurysm.
The cast and crew of the show gathered in Washington Square Park, in New Orleans' Faubourg Marigny neighborhood, the morning after David's death. Later, we gathered in City Park to dedicate a live oak tree we had sponsored in David's memory. Mary Howell, one of the consultants on the show, and the inspiration for the Toni Bernette character, came up with the idea. "I felt like we wanted to do something to mark a place for David here, in New Orleans, putting down some new roots, like he was doing," she said.
While the "magic Hubig's" had become something of an icon of 'Treme,' we didn't realize the impact these confections had had on David Mills until we discovered a case of them in his office after his passing. Tom Piazza, one of the 'Treme' writers contacted Hubig's to secure the appropriate pies for the occasion. The labels echoed a line from our promotional posters, which in turn echoed an old Mardi Gras Indian couplet.
David Mills 1961 – 2010
Won't Bow. Don't Know How.
This year, on the first anniversary of David's passing we gathered around a tree in City Park that we purchased specifically as a memorial to him.
Before 'Treme,' David Mills had never been to New Orleans. That seems odd in retrospect in that he was something of a music geek, the kind of person you'd expect to visit New Orleans with much the same enthusiasm as pilgrims visit Our Lady of Medjugorje. But David was more P-Funk than Fats Domino.
David Mills and David Simon were old friends and 'Treme' was a great chance for them to work together again. Once here, Mills grew to love the city -- its music, its casino and of course, those Hubig's pies.
I've often lamented that I didn't get to spend more time with David, learn more from him and about him. But, as David Simon noted at our memorial, David Mills tended not to say much when the topic of conversation was David Mills. "He would tell me certain things, but it was in his time," Simon said. Simon and Mills had known each other since the two of them worked as reporters on 'The Diamondback,' the University of Maryland's student newspaper. Still, Simon's memorial portrait of his friend was drawn from three decades in which Mills dispensed details of his life by the teaspoonful.
"David also always steered the conversation toward what was at stake for the characters as individual human beings," Tom Piazza said. " 'Treme' has a strong thematic dimension, and it grapples with large issues of society and culture. David, dependably, would reel us back in to questions of character, and motivation, and emotion."
Mills created a blog. There he opined on everything from music to politics, from Smith & Wesson's eau de toilette fragrance, to President Barack Obama's over use of the pronoun "I." After David's death, his nephew, Clifton Porter II, wrote a memorial entry, and posted it on the UBM site. He captures a side of his late uncle none of us in David's professional orbit had any clue about.
In the 'Treme' writers' room, the place where we brainstorm about the direction of the show, David Mills was the constructive skeptic. He wasn't so enamored of New Orleans that he would let us wallow in Crescent City sentimentality. He asked tough, smart questions and the show was better for it.
Still, criticizing is easy, or at least easier than offering up your own ideas. While each of us writers made contributions, large and small, David Mills contributed one particularly brilliant suggestion, the idea of using our final episode to go back in time and see how our characters prepared on the day before Hurricane Katrina made landfall. 'Treme' is not a show about a hurricane; it's about people rebuilding their lives in the wake of a great catastrophe. We didn't dwell on the storm in the early shows. But by our final episode it was time we revisited the event that gave rise to our story.
When David suggested the idea of dedicating the last show to a flashback, it was one of the few times when all the writers in the room immediately agreed. In that moment, David Mills, the sometime hell raiser and muckraker, took a turn as consensus builder.
A scholarship in David's name has been created at the University of Maryland. For more details, please visit, http://davidmills.umd.edu/about.php.


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Nigel Edwards – in his masterly analysis of the Health Act – declares that "the real level of autonomy available to clinical commissioning groups is likely to be determined by the behaviour of the NHS Commissioning Board… rather than by the legislation."
He adds: "The act does little to safeguard the system from top-down recidivism in the board."
In that light, Andrew Lansley's letter to board chair Malcolm Grant commanding that CCGs are to have "assumed liberty" appears significant. Its message is in tune with fierce lobbying by those champions of clinical commissioning, the NHS Alliance and National Association of Primary Care and it might be thought they have forced a U-turn from the government.
In the middle of last year, the Department of Health responded to the House of Commons health committee report on the commissioning reforms. It noted the committee's approval of a "change from the principle of 'assumed liberty' to one where commissioners will earn autonomy" during the authorisation phase. It said the process of CCG authorisation "will be undertaken in line with… the principle of 'earned autonomy'."
However, in truth, the debate is a continuation of the dance performed by the government ever since it revealed its plans for GP-led commissioning. To attract enough GPs to the commissioning table it had to promise them relative freedom. GPs, after all, have a day job they can return to should they feel their influence is being constrained. On the other hand, the government had to reassure a whole range of stakeholders that these new GP organisations would not be allowed to do whatever they liked.
Witness the debate over clinical senates. Revealed with some fanfare in response to hospital doctors' concern that GPs would rule the roost, a few months later the government was busy briefing how senates would fulfil a purely advisory role.
This dance is set to continue as the new system develops. Professor Grant, in his first ever interview, tells HSJ that CCGs can expect the board's grip to remain relatively tight during the transition.
On one level, this tension is simply created by the desire of any new organisation to have freedom of action – witness the ongoing birth pangs of the foundation trust sector – and the need for the centre, where blame eventually, and inevitably, arrives – to reduce its pain.
But there are other, almost subconscious, forces at work. Significant among them is the fear of CCG leaders of being labelled "bureaucrats" – something the government wants to avoid as well.
The holy grail of these reforms is for the wave of reconfigurations and service redesign which must sweep through the NHS to be perceived by the public as led by professionals who care only for patients. To give this vision power – and justify the upheaval reform has caused – it has been regularly contrasted with the approach it replaces, in which decisions were, supposedly, made by "faceless bureaucrats".
To maintain this construct, CCGs must not be perceived as acting in a bureaucratic manner, making decisions which feel distant from the needs of patients. Since this is impossible to achieve consistently in a system of the NHS's scale, having someone to blame can be handy.
A commissioning board perceived as overly officious may actually play to the advantage of CCGs in establishing their freshness.
This is not cynicism, simply a recognition of the ever-present dynamic between the NHS's centre and its local manifestations.
More significant will be what CCGs do with their "liberty" and how the centre reacts when and if that freedom ends in "failure".
Readers' comments (11)
Surely nobody believes that Lansley's letter will change anything. Creating FT's was bad enough in a NATIONAL health service but combine that with semi autonomous CCG's of varying sizes is a recipe for continual financial and commissioning conflict and confusion. Top down operationalism is inevitable. Democratising and 'GPising PCT's was an honourable alternative for all political parties.
The larger probelm will be the lack of time that the GPs have to work on CCG issues. Most are engaged with busy practices - the day job. Hence most decisions will be taken by the staff support groups and will get a rubber stamp from GPs.
There is a huge amount of freedoms for CCGs. Their ability/willingness to use them will be the bigger problem.
forget about anything Lansley says, he's history come the reshuffle in early autumn - next SoS will be Hunt as long as he has a good Olympics.....
Yes I read about Hunt in Roy Lilley's blog too, but he's had calls to resign over the last few hours....
And if Hunt gets SoS will we see News International bidding to run a CSS???!
Good analysis of the tensions around who has power in the new organisations in NHS but at the expense of any agreement on a coherent national strategy or vision of how the NHS is going to survive the next 5 years never mind the next 20! This is all about who has the power and not about why they need it - to achieve what. What a typical waste of effort and talent for so many as the NHS fragments apart. "and the band played on".
Anonymous | 28-Apr-2012 9:56 am
"at the expense of any agreement on a coherent national strategy".
The lack of a national strategy is not a mistake. It is the point of a market model of health. There will not be a national anything. There will be lots of competeing fiefdoms determining local best fit.
Asking Lansley for a National strategy for the NHS is like asking Darwin for an evolutionary strategy for the three toed sloth. The question doesn't make sense in his world view.
Here we go again.
PCTs where supposed to do what ccgs are ment to do.. engage GPs and clinicians in commissioning.
PCTs where set up with a majority of GPs, but SHAs came in heavy handedly and crushed any independence.
PCT chief execs just listened to the SHAs and just took any decisions that needed making to the board .. totally by passing the PEC.
The same will happen again ... certainly when Lansley goes.
PS why are most comments Anonymous??
John, the path to a broken career, bullying, being forced to leave a job and general poor behaviour from HR is littered with people who dared to raise their head above the parapet, engage in constructive critical debate, challenge the perceived wisdoms, attempt to reform the aggressive if not toxic culture of heavy handedness so pervasive in the NHS.... is why we prefer to remain anonymous. It is simply not worth our jobs and health/ wellbeing plus that of our families to say what we really think in public.
As long as Sir David sits atop the NHS you will have one model - Stalin style top down control. What makes it worse is that there is no plan to operationalize beyond maintaining the "Sir David Control Model" so anyone who was hoping for a different results is reminded of the quote attributed to Einstein about "insanity being defined as doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result." And to see Sir David publicly take postions diametrically opposed to Lansley and the legislation's bespoke intent - and not get called to task for it - is an active danger to achieving the outcomes that have been called for. Never underestimate a bureaucrat's ability to put their own motives ahead of their constituents...
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text:
January 18, 2011
Up Close
Plus: The Hot in Cleveland actress and her costar Jane Leeves affectionately tease each other on the set of their hit show
How Do YouTube Sensations Cassey Ho and Jenn Im Deal With Negative Comments?
Audra McDonald On What She Got From Her Mom (Her Strong Arms!)
Jason Derulo's Home Is a Party Host's Dream Come True
See All
May 03, 2016
WATCH: Do You Have the Need for Speed? Top Gun Is Turning 30!
Watch It
WATCH: Did You Know That Tony Nominee Renée Elise Goldsberry Almost Didn't Get Her Part in Hamilton?!
WATCH: What Was the Last Beauty Product That Vanessa Williams Used?
Apr 22, 2016
Julia Louis-Dreyfus on the 'Unbelievably Wrenching' Final Day on the Seinfeld Set
Julia Louis-Dreyfus Reveals Her Favorite Selina Meyer Lines from Veep
Julia Louis-Dreyfus on 'Veep,' the End of 'Seinfeld' and Surviving 'SNL'
Which Song-and-Dance Heartthrob Was Becky G's First Celebrity Crush?
Apr 29, 2016
What Movie Changed Patrick Stewart's Life When He Was 13?
Apr 26, 2016
Andy Cohen Reveals the Shadiest Moments of Watch What Happens Live
Dec 17, 2015
Airbnb Billionaire Brian Chesky Shares The Secrets of His Success
Oct 21, 2015
My American Dream: Dr. Henri Ford Reflects on His Powerful Journey — and How He's Giving Back to His Native Country
Oct 15, 2015
My American Dream: A Former Athlete's New Position as Online Networking Guru
WATCH: Alysia Reiner on Body Positivity: 'I'm Never Allowed to Ask "Do I Look Fat?"'
Mar 23, 2016
Celebs Moms on the Time They Almost Lost It: 'You Do Feel You've Been Taken Over By an Alien'
Mar 22, 2016
What They Won't Tell You! Celeb Moms Dish on Postpartum's Real Deal
May 02, 2016
Why Does Nikki Reed Think It's Funny She's Just Like Her Mother?
Apr 28, 2016
Apr 27, 2016
A Kourtney Kardashian Clothing Line? Find Out Her Awesome Hidden Talent!
Apr 04, 2016
WATCH: 'Comfortable, Cool and Simple' - Kendall Jenner Breaks Down Her Best Style Moments
Feb 19, 2016
Candice Swanepoel Relives a Really Embarrassing Runway Fall
Meet Ollie Cantos, the Man Who Changed the Lives of Three Blind Triplets
Astronaut Love Triangle Victim Speaks Out: "The Crime in 2007 Hasn't Defined Us"
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The Beatles
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
The Beatles was an English Rock band and one of the most famous comedy routines of all time. The classic lineup consisted of John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Richard "Ringo Starr" Starkey.
Our story begins with young art students Len Johnson and Paul McSpaniels on the top deck of a Liverpool bus. The two young lads found they were united in their love of "skiffle", a crude musical style devised by English songster Donnie Lonegan, and named after a Liverpool night out.
The two were sharing a Woodbine when somebody spoke, and they went into a dream. It was the morose, juvenile George Harrassedone, distinguished for his ability to play something on guitar that sounded like the Shadows. The two recognized someone they could pick on, and the dream of a top pop band was born. Quickly, they recruited good-looking Pete Best, who owned a drum-kit and whose mum owned a van.
Before settling on the name that made them famous, the combo performed in many of their front rooms under a variety of names, including The Clay Men, Johnny and The Moptops, The Silver Bullets, The Big Three, The Fab Four and The Slaughterhouse Five, but their break came when, by fantastic chance, they won a residency at the local Cotton Club, owned by Pete's mum. Their radio broadcasts rocked Liverpool, and they immediately embarked on a major tour of a street in Hamburg.
There it was that, surrounded by sailors and prostitutes, The Beatles looked on in shock as a drunken Stu Sutcliffe appeared naked on stage to make his epoch-making speech "Ich bin ein Hamburger". Living in a toilet and playing fourteen-hour shifts, the band fast became a killer rhythm section that smelled. Sometimes, they would perform for days on end simply because their confused brain hormones convinced them that the footsweat that glued them to the stage was confortable. As the weeks went by and their money slowly faded away, they melted into their audience, participating in their bar fights. When they finally sobered up, they found that Bingo Seuss had replaced Pete Worst as their drummer. Inspired by Buck Cherry and Huddy Bolly, they began to experiment with writing songs that sounded like Buck Cherry and Huddy Bolly.
Back in Liverpool, furniture salesman Brian Epstein was impressed by a young fan who entered his premises demanding "My Bunny", a German record by local heroes "The Bootless". "This is a furniture shop, idiot!" quipped Brian. Within hours he was at the Cotton Club, assuring the young hopefuls that their total sales of 10,000 guaranteed fame and that he would be their manager.
In 1962, Einstein and The Beatles went to Parlorphone's George Martin. Maplin agreed to sign the band.
First Singles and First Album
Their first single, "Do Me, Love", earned them a disappointing Number 18, or 17 depending who you pay, in the British charts, as well as a £50 obscenity fine. They were on their way to jump off a cliff when Brian Epstein came up with a cunning plan to save the day. He said, "Wait, what if we---what if we were to release another one that's good?" They wrote "Please Slurp Me", a thinly disguised plea for consensual favours that was an instant chart-topper in Britain, or else number 2, depending who pays you.
In 1963, The Beatles recorded their first album, The Bizarre Acts of Id, which contained all of the songs they recorded that weren't released as singles, leading to poor reception and the general vibe of "every song sounds the same." Two notable exceptions to this are the songs "I Saw Her Standing There" and "Twist and Shout", which according to Jack and Percy are both about the same encounter with an attractive woman in a club.
Second Album
Later in 1963, The Beatless recorded a second album, It's Those Blokes Again!. This was the same as the first, except different songs, obviously, and the piano was further forward in the mix. It replaced its predecessor at the top, just as every Bartles single replaced its predecessor at the top. The band showed its vast versatility in its command of popular idioms in successive singles thus; swing beat, twist beat, twist beat, swing beat, twist beat, swing beat, twist beat. At that stage, however, Jag Mekon, who had always thought they did his songs too fast, started doing them slower.
Somewhere Over the Pond
While that happened, though, "I Want to be in your band" went to number one Stateside, pursued by its subtly lyrical predecessor, "She Loves You But I'll Get You". Previously the group had failed there, their successive releases leased to a variety of minor players. Now, suddenly, the Billgates chart looked like this;
1) The Beatles: Mein Bunny (Mockingbird)
2) The Beatles: Komm, Lass' mich kuss' dein Fuss" (Crapitall)
3) The Beatles: B side of the above (Verve Folkways)
4) The Beatles: B side of the above (Bankrupt Records)
5) The Beatles: Sie Liebt Dich, Ich Werde Dich Bekommen Aber (Deutsche Grammophon)
6) The Beatles: Slurp Me, Love (Hank's Hardware)
7) The Beatles: B side of the above (Shark)
8) The Beatles: Please Love Me (Turkey)
9) Frank Sumatra and Doris Dayglo; Aren't We Great!!?? (Reprehensible)
10 Annette Funicello: (I'm A) Sex Machine (Columbine)
Business interests released their albums with completely different titles in America, "Meet the Mopheads" was released as "Beat the Mopheads" and "Please Please Me" was released as "The Beatles' Second Album, or maybe the Third". It didn't go down well. In 1964 the Beatles agreed to appear on "The Ed Sullivan Show" and rocked the history books as being the most watched band of the 1960s. That night, the Ed Sullivan Show had the most viewers of its entire run (guesstimates are around ten or twelve people, we're not really sure).
Moving Pictures and Being Hectic
Later that year a director named Mark Lester asked to make a movie about the band based on one of their sketches. The movie was called A Hard-on a Night and was about a twenty-five hours a day, eight days a week account of being in a band, and fab and gear and loveable and funny. The boys did it as Lester had also been in "The Ying Tong Song" and he knew Pete's mum. The movie only lasted an hour and a half and therefore didn't really fulfill its objective, but the title song had a guitar chord and also a guitar solo that couldn't really be done. Also, the urgent complaining of the tough sardonic was this time complemented by the soaring melodic gift of McCutesie. The soundtrack album was the only 100% Lemon/McCranberry release, and was pretty d.g. so long as you did not play the other side except for the two makeweight B sides, which were just as good. The Bobtails were film-stars. Lenin found he could be nasty to everyone and they liked it.
Their next album, called Beatles for Sale! was weaker in that, around this time, The Beatles were in a hectic lifestyle and had to expand their usual twenty-five hours into twenty-seven hours, without sleeping. In order to do this, they had to clone themselves to go on a world tour. They never got around to cloning Ringo so they used a completely different drummer. This annoyed Imelda Magoo and her shoes so they went home, especially George. So we don't talk about Beatles for Sale, and nobody is really sure if the right tracks were on it.
However, Jan Laminate always identified the album as the turning-point when he started getting real and also wore a cap. The commonly-held belief that that did not happen for another two albums is an optical illusion caused by the way the records were released in the USA, he said. He'd got a folkie guitar, and done the song "I'm a Fat Elvis", which was a cry from the heart. Stung by the idea that The Kinks, Stones and Yardbirds were heavier, he had started to slow it down and grunge it up a bit. But all they'd had otherwise was a couple of ill-rehearsed reject singles, a few cook-ups and 12-bars and an afternoonsworth of Hamburg cover-versions.
The next day Mark Lester contacted them again to make a movie about a twenty-five hours a day account of being in a band. They later learned that he had contracted amnesia so they agreed to it but asked that it would be filmed in colour and have a jolly plot. The movie was later titled YELP! after the working title Four Hardons to Surprise You was rejected for being too long.
The film was definitely not as good, but the album was good on both sides. Still somewhat lightweight, still sporting a couple of cover-versions, though one was only Dumbo's song and the other was an urgent complaining of the tough sardonic as done famously in "Shake and Scream". There were also a few fab waxings - and they speeded up John Rotten's heartfelt song again - but it was nevertheless unquestionably good, and he also did a more obviously Dylan Thomas thing, except with flutes: "I've Got to Love Your Hideaway" is now identified as about holidays in Spain, though only by gays, obviously. Hari G emerged as a writer, though he could not do singles properly yet. The only thing that McWhatsit did was "Yesterday".
Experimental Stage
Their next two albums, Stoned Soul Picnic and Revolving Room (Bad Trip), moved the band fully into a more experimental stage. This was because they stopped touring, especially George, and started instead with---uh---recreational---uh---activities. Accidentally in an interview Jon had accidentally said "We're bigger than Elvis!". The entire population of America was in an outrage because they believed Elvis was extremely fat and Jim was an amateur. Jeff apologized and said Elvis was fatter really, and nobody was saying who was best. As it happens, the comment had totally overshadowed another controversy where Jack had stated that Elvis was fatter than Jesus. Nobody believed him. During a second apology, which was scheduled just for good measure, Jacob casually insulted monks, but quickly apologized for that comment as well so as not to start another controversy. However, the preceding months of outrage and what they had to show to The Beatles regarding the power of words did not prevent John from making a joke about amphetamines during a ceremony where the four members were awarded the Silver Heart badge. Still, they stopped touring, and started recording at the rate of a song a day, as opposed to an album an hour.
Critics, fans, critical fans, and the occasional douchebag-on-campus agree that The Beatles were at their best during the "middlish-end" of either the 1960s or their career; ironically, the only thing they do not agree on is how to measure the awesomeness of an artist's oeuvre (French for "Here's my essay, Mr. Carmichael!").
One notable example of The Beatles being at the height of their hype is the song "Today is Omniscient" from the album Revolving Room, which was the first song to be recorded, the last track on the album, and the song that took the longest to record.
It all began late in the winter of 1965-1966, back when Revolving Door was being conceptualized or whatever. In February, Jonah came up with a new way to pass the time on long weekends when musical work wasn't being done. He would consume some LSD and begin a one-to-two-hour walk from the recording studio to the book store and back. He called these adventures "acid trip trips", confusing later historians due to the introduction of DOI, also known as "trips" or "super-LSD" to the English street scene. These historians later quit their jobs and decided to do DOI, causing their lives to be ruined; they spent the rest of their otherwise successful lives in dark alleys, partaking in questionable activities for financial gain. Most of them died of strokes or heart attacks; there are currently two cases of historian-suicide.
One day in March, Lenny decided to go to the book store for once. In the book store, Lebanon perused several books, including the Necronomicon and A Clockwork Orange. Despite being on acid at the time, Learning selected the least strange book on the shelf, The Will of Yog-Sothoth: A Grimoire Containing Spells for the Summoning of Zombies, Based on the Tibetan Book of the Dead. While reading The Will of Yog-Sothoth, Lineman came across a list of enchantments and philosophical words that he went on to adapt into the lyrics to "Today is Omniscient". The Beatles spent the better part of April recording the song, constantly mixing in whatever they wanted to. John briefly took the helm in production, suggesting to the overlings innovative recording methods, most of which were rejected for being extremely dangerous. Finally, as the recording studio saw the end of April, John threw causion to the wind and plugged his microphone into an amplifier meant for synthesizers. This caused a power surge in the building, forcing fellow bands of the studio to record their songs acoustic while The Beatles got all the electricity. John recorded the last verse, stanza, and list of enchantments with his voice distorted by the microphone effect, and voila, The Beatles had completed the recording of "Today is Omniscient".
Freedom in the studio let the group craft the music of their 1967 album "Corporal Punishment's Lonely Heart Bypass". Their album was the first example of a "concept album" and contained "songs". Unfortunately it was the wrong concept for the songs. Here's why:
Joel Laban had completed a load of Liverpool songs. One which they had already recorded was about how the world ended when he smoked a Woodbine going to school, another, which they had not done yet, was about having nothing to do except walk around Liverpool and watch telly, while a third was about being up a tree and not knowing how to get down, which they had done twice and fixed together with tape. And he nearly had one for Bengo.
Meanwhile McCrabtree had one about a fireman in a barber's shop and another called "Will You Divorce Me When I'm 64?". Geordie made it clear he would only do Indian stuff and Bonko could not think of anything at all. A single was needed and the only credible things that were ready were the one about the tree and the one about the fireman. So they put that out and bang went their concept. To put proverbial salt on the proverbial wound, The Beatles ended up recording hundreds of songs for the album, some of which were improvised, and the songs that are always said to be "truly good" have never been released. In order to reduce an otherwise months-long experience into an about hour-long album, the weaker songs were hidden amongst the stronger ones in cracks and grooves almost too small for the needle to hit. As such, these weak songs were almost never heard, and with the advent of the compact disk, these songs were almost lost to time, until it was discovered that they were already on iTunes. But long before iTunes existed, Monty Python stole this idea from The Beatles and made it better for their album, mainly because Graham Chapman was an Outer God.
Cleverly, McCarefree wrote the one about the Corporal, and somebody said do it twice and it will still sound conceptual. "It's not bloody going after my one about the world ending," said Jug, and, not to be outdone, wrote one about a circus and did that with tapes too. And so it was. A marvel of production, the biggest seller ever, but not as good. The Beatles were at the top of their game, standing on the edge of a cliff, staring down into the abyss that was and still is...
A Passage to India
One day while waiting for his spoonful of salted acid-blunt to melt, it was George's idea to visit the Maharishi Chicken Korma Yogurt Taxi Driver Man in India and the other Beatles agreed. The Maharishi was the head leader of an Indian tea/curry meditation association of hypnosis. However, it was here that they learned the tragic news: Brandon Einstein had died of syphilis. The Beatles were crushed. The good news is that the tea wasn't that bad, and the curry was absolutely fantastic. But the Gulab Jamun gave them something bad. That's what you get for eating something you can't pronounce.
This tragedy was echoed in their panned TV film This Was All Paul's Idea Anyway, which was about running away from a London bus named Desire. After realizing that this would be a stupid premise but the money had already been spent on production, The Beatles rewrote the script by running it through a shredder and dumping the shredded pieces of paper onto a large pile of glue. Everyone involved in production was too grossed-out to touch the script and see the revisions, so as a last resort, The Beatles consumed the remaining four energy pills from Hamburg that they had been saving for almost ten years in case something like this happened to them, hoping the pills would make them good improvisers.
The following four weeks were a blur. Under the illusion that drugs made them good actors, The Beatles spent a month binging out on anything they could find, from the slimmest blunt to the biggest rock. YELP! was famous for The Beatles being high throughout; This Was All Paul's Idea Anyway was famous for The Beatles being completely depersonalized throughout. As production continued, the plot of the movie slowly faded away until the movie was reducded to several bus scenes containing shots of that were held for too long that were almost completely unrelated to the rest of the movie, which consisted of The Beatles pulling pranks and being smartasses in general mixed in with psychedelic landscape shots. After realizing that their latest movie made no sense whatsoever, The Beatles got through the following month without doing any drugs. They wrote a new script that contained subtle elements related to the bus instead of putting the bus in the spotlight, shifting their focus to a journey to a faraway hill in which is buried "all the secrets of life and death" and the inclusion of a few songs from their latest album, Mystical Magihood Hour. At the end of the film, The Beatles finally arrive at the hill, but before they can dig up The Secrets, the guy who drives the bus gets drunk and runs over Paul with the bus; Paul is cursed to guard The Secrets forever as the Fool on the Hill.
During the winter of 1967-1968, it became clear, first in the studio, then to the rest of the world, that The Beatles were letting fame get to them, forcing them to make idiots of themselves on their album and in their movie. But it was just one album; it was just one movie. The Beatles knew they could improve themselves. They had to bail before they got anywhere near that shark. In doing so, they learned that pussying out is okay sometimes. They learned to control their egoes.
Drawing a Blank
1968 saw the double album that the band decided to call The Blank Album. Like Corporeal Hearts, The White Album contained hundreds of songs. These songs were written in late 1967 when The Beatles went to India. Most of these songs were inspired by the members' experiences in India, such as Joshua's song "Dear Prudish" being inspired by a fellow pilgrim's attempt to purge all pain within herself by meditating, or Peter's song "Let's Have Sex in the Middle of the Road" being inspired by the sight of two monkeys fucking.
Around this time, tired of getting shafted by all the greedy record companies, they decided to form a their own company founded upon their highest ideals that would attract young, untarnished talent to the industry so at last they could be the ones doing the shafting instead, though only for tax purposes. They christened this famous company Apple Cores, and began at once selling computers and portable music playing devices.
Winding Down
In 1968 Johnny met Hitler's half-Japanese daughter named Okie Nono Hitler at a cheap art show and they decided to get married straight away. They divorced days later and John married Yokel Onion. She contributed to an altogether sense of togetherness between the members of the band who enjoyed playing games with her. This all eventually backfired when Ringo was suffocated when the fab four were engaged in a dirty hide and seek romp with Yokel under a big white sheet (she farted), captured live on film during an interview in 1968 and only increasing the notoriety of Yokel Onion who was fondly immortalised in the memory of Western culture.
This led to the Beatles becoming heralded as an 'alternative' cult phenomenon. However many critics have considered them to be lacking genuine talent, relying on shocking their audience with bursts of noise which are of little aesthetic value and opportunistically riding the coat-tails of Onion and others.
They then planned to make a movie called "Get Back, Honky Cat" about the band rehearsing, recording and performing an entire album, but it wasn't very well planned and it took so long that they realised releasing the album "Get Back, Honky Cat" wasn't a really good idea now so they left it in the hands of a madman who completely altered the play list and completely changed everything about all the songs, including the lyrics. Everybody left except McKlein, so he left.
As they could not possibly stop with that one, and the Sixties were nearly finished, the Beatles began working on what was to be their last album called "Crosswalk at Abbey Street". After this album they went their separate ways and "Leave It Be", the madman's version of "Get Back, Honky Cat" was released. See "Beatles For Sale".
"Abbey Crunch" was as good as "Reveloving Door", except by then the words had stopped making any sense at all. And it was later, so it does not count. But by then, under the spell of James Hendricks Marshallcabinet, whom Hari had conjured with mantras and playing backwards, everybody decided that even three chords were a bit much, and you did not need songs. Led Zeppelin and Kiss were invented and everybody got rid of the harpsichord, which was a mistake as only Jimi was really good at it. Although the Seventies was the Sixties for everybody else, in fact the dream was over. Jimi and some other people died and the rest got drunk. The control freaks had been right all along and, discovering that the kids did not want the system, they sold it to themselves.
Beatle Juice
After McCartney's tragic death, scientists started working on cloning so that they could bring back all of The Bealtes in the, hopefully, near future. It has been confirmed that the bodys of John, Paul and Geroge are all stuck in Some Dude's freezer while they make sure the cloning machine works. They have already cloned Michael Jackson and Elton John... (Despite Elton screaming that he wasn't even dead while they were cloning him) and have confirmed that sometime in 2012 they will clone all 3 Beatles. Ringo, been immortal and such, will NOT be cloned...However, Pete Best will. If the cloning fails then the scientist's have confirmed that they will be putting them all in a (yellow) blender and making them into Beatle Juice. This will be sold to whoever will buy it, but won't be consumable. You can, however, place it in a beautiful glass vase on your mantle peice next to your Grandma's ashes. (No refunds!)
"Everyone But Paul Is Dead"
- main article Paul Is Alive
Before the group broke up, a fateful telephone call was made to an obscure Minneapolis radio station. A scientist informed shocked DJ's that a subliminal message in the group's albums revealed that everyone but Paul is dead. Earlier everybody thought Paul was the one dead, but they weren't sure and didn't know why. The news sent shockwaves through the world music community. Everybody was very confused.
Ringo was the first to go. The first to go. because in 1963, on the cover of Without the Beatles, Ringo's face is clearly not in line with those of his fabulous bandmates. On the cover of the A Hard On's Night EP, George is the only one with his back to the camera in any of the pictures, and he's the only one holding a cigarette. It's believed only George was distinguished on these covers because whatever entity was responsible for placing the clues decided the group's young fans might have trouble figuring out which pair of Beatles had died; John & Paul, or George & Ringo. On the cover of the Yelp! album, the Beatles hold their arms in semaphore positions, but rather than spelling Y-E-L-P as one might expect, it spells H-E-L-P? That meant an untimely death had befallen John and he had been replaced. In "I'm Looking Through You", Paul sings of the state of his friends and coworkers: "You don't look different, but you have changed...You don't sound different, I've learned the game/I'm looking through you, you're not the same."
Post Sgt. Lt. Pepper's work distinguishes Paul as the only surviving original member. One of the many figures on the cover of that album holds a hand over Paul's head, as if to bless him, and on the reverse, he is shown with his back to the camera.
All The Beatles fans were actually brainwashed into believing Paul was dead (they believe he was squashed as he roamed the town in this superhero beatle form), but the scientist showed proof, all was finally understood.
Then another scientist examined these claims and discovered that it was all a hoax.
Going Helter Skelter
In the 1980s, Michael Jackson the famous singer and plastic mannequin purchased the remaining Beatles' souls and placed them in his ranch in "Neverland". Many wondered if this was the real 'Pepperland' all along.
Come Together
Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Moon came together in 1995 to film Anthropology. George had to be woken up. It was released in eighty parts and they released a double CD one minute long for each part they released.
In 2003, the remaining members released "Leave It Be… nude version". This was the version they would've released before the madman swapped it all about. In this version, they had actually recorded the album totally nude like the title suggested; the original "Leave It Be" album was the session that they had recorded while being fed with rotten onions (Onions being a metaphor for Clark Kent).
"The Beatles Go #2" was released to commemorate the grammatically corrected versions of each time the boys made it into the toilet.
Recently a Beatles bootleg appeared entitled 'The Silent Album.' This album is 13 tracks (43.55 minutes) of silence. It was originally thought that it was another attempt by John Morrison to be regarded as the "Most Stupid Artist In History" by releasing work from beyond the grave, it has since been discovered that it was the lost tape for The Beatles 'Wangster' rapping sessions which Sir George Martin had lost in the post production stage. It was the only one that was not a week long.
Did You Know?
- Ringo Starr was the only Beatle to have a double chin. The other Beatles didn't eat. The last time McCartney ate was in 1958 when he had a fish, hence the famous song "Can't Buy Me Cod".
- Recent statistical analysis by an MIT PhD reveals that at one point in 1966 The Beatles actually were 43% more popular than Jesus.
- All of the Beatles music was influenced by the little known North Manchesterford combo called Oasis. 'Without Oasis, there would be no Beatles' Paul was once overheard saying in a haze.
- George was the son of a certain Hairy Harry, who was the son of Harry's son.
- Lennon's real name was Johnny Bender, which he changed after going on holiday to Spain with manager Brian Epstein, as people might have got the wrong impression.
- Paul McCartney's real name was James Paul McKnickers, which suited him perfectly, as the subject of women's underwear was constantly on his mind, and he was usually found thinking about them, trying to get into them, pulling them down, trying them on, and often wore them under his Beatle suit.
- The 'Walrus' was actually Starr. This was a great insult to walruses.
- Yoko Ono was once fired as a stripper, because she was overheard saying "Me so horny! Me so horny! Yoko love you long time for 75 mirrion dorrar".
- Two Beatles haven't been stabbed or shot, even though Heather Mills tried her best.
- Ringo's most famous single is titled Fuck Paul. Yes I mean you, McCartney.
- The Beatles were a leading force in the British Colonization of Black Music, in which blacks were enslaved and forced to give up the 12-bar blues and instead write artsy "pop-rock" songs for white men (such as The Beatles) for little or no money.
- Bob Dylan was introduced to hard drugs by The Beatles, and has never looked back in anger, preferring instead to get stoned with EVERYBODY, by force if necessary.
- On the set of A Hard Day's Night, John Lennon pressed his cheeks up against Ringo Starr's face and released a wet sounding fart. Ringo was obviously upset, and in turn, silenty released a fart of his own, waving it toward John. Upon smelling this, John was quoted as saying "Touche' Ringo"
- Ringo Starr was replaced by an orangutan from 1963 to 1968. Nobody noticed. They were busy looking at John to see if it really was John... or a walrus. No one knows for sure.
- Apple Corps created picture books (for children. DUH!) out of photos of The Insects, but with child-friendly captions added, eg 'John and Paul play with each other', 'Ringo plays with himself', 'John gives Paul love', 'George is doing it', etc., etc., etc.
- The Beatles were once regarded as Satan worshippers, with the release of their songs, "Lucifer in the Sky with Demons" and "I am the Reaper". This myth was disregarded as yet another drug trip song.
- There really was no such band as the Beatles. Every single person in the 1960's was on some kind of drug and the Beatles just existed collectively in everybody's minds.
- In Soviet Russia, The Beatles first single to be released was called, "Healthy Soviet Hand Wants to Hold You!"
- On the picture where The Beatles were walking down Abbey Road, Paul McCartney wasn't out of step, John George and Ringo were.
- Ringo once collected tea cosies, this was revealed after a raid of his apartment in 1964. Ringo's home page is : [1]
- The Beatles never went to Soviet Russia twice, hence the song "Back in the U.S.S.R." is just another fucked up clue to Paul being dead.
- In the 60's when the Beatles were almost popular, two teenage girls tried to handcuff themselves to The Beatles Limousine. They ended up attaching themselves to a car full of 3 very confused South Koreans and Yoko Ono.
- Ringo Starr actually wrote all of the Beatles songs, he was just never credited for it for example : "A Hard Days Ringo" and "Yesteringo!", also the less well known song, "Ringo Ringo Rosies"
- Elvis was Paul McCartney's mother in a Michelin man suit.
- The death metal band Necro-Deth Cannibals from Hell claims that The Beatles were one of their greatest influences.
The Beatles' USSR #1 Singles
- Do Me, Love / P.S. I Love Your boyfriend (October 5 1962)
- From Me To You to the Next Person / Thanks for Nothing (1963)
- She Loves Him, Not You / I'll Get You Wasted (1963)
- I Want To Hold Your Cash/ Oops... This Boy Is Underage* (1963) *Copyright now owned by Michael Jackson
- I Want To Huff Your Cat / That Guy (1963)
- Can't Buy Me Love (Unless I Win the Lottery) / You Can Do That (But Only in Tijuana) (1964)
- Can't Buy Me Legs / Can't Buy Me Divorce (1963) - re-released (2006)
- A Hard On's Night / Things We Smoked Today (1964)
- I Feel Fuckin' Sick / He's A Woman (1964)
- Ticked Off My Bride / No It Isn't (1965)
- Another One Bites the Dust / No, We Didn't Kill Paul (1965)
- Fuck! / I'm Up and Down (I'm on a Seesaw) (1965)
- We Can't Work It Out / Gay Stripper (Censored as Hey Skipper) (1965)
- Yesterday (I Lost It) / Jack Naturally (and Prone) (1965)
- Ten Days A Week / Got To Get You Off My Life Insurance Policy (1966)
- Shitty Crack Fighter / Thunderstorm (1966)
- Eleanor "Aussie Rules" Rugby / Yellow Tambourine (1966)
- Strawberry soup for never / Penis Lane(1967)
- Lucy and this guy with lots of jewellery on/ When I sex for tea (1967)
- All You Need is Lunch / Maybe You're A Witch, Man (1967)
- Hello, Fuck Off / I Am The Waitress (1967)
- Help! My Appendix Just Burst / Ringo HAS A TINY DICK, i a i a ooo! (1965)
- In Soviet Russia, Ur asSeS aRe Back in YOU! / Everybody's Got A Monkey To Hide Except Me.
- Hey! You've Got to Hide Your Gay Away / We'll Have to Hide Our Love Away
- Lady, My Donut! / The Inner Bite (1968)
- Hang Jews (w/ The Black Panthers f/ KKKramer!) (1970)
- AAAAAAAA! / AAAAAA! (AAA, oh, oh, uh, o yeah, deeper, oh, oh , again!!!!)
- Back in the You Ass Ass Are / While Captain Picard Gently Weeps (1968)
- Back in the U.S.S.R. (NOT RUSSIA!!) / While My Didgeridoo Gently Weeps (1968)
- I Am the Walrus (1970)
- Lt. Oregano's very many friends in a musical group with hearts/With no help from friends (cause Ringo doesn't have any)/A Day with your wife
- Revolution 393.7 / Why Don't We Do It in the Road? (1968) (No kidding, it's an actual song...)
- Get Crack / Don't Put Me Down (I'm Not a Bloody Dog) (1969)
- The salad of John and Yoko"fuck this bitch who made the Beatles separate" Ono / and why the heck don't we ever cut our hair!??! 1969)
- Some Other Thing / Come Alone (1969)
- Hey, We Look Different?! / John's hair reached his ass!!!!! (1970)
- Leave It To Beaver / Gee Golly Mrs. Cleaver, Is Beaver The Walrus? (1970)
- Leave It Be / You Don't Know My Number (Look Up The Name) (1970)
- The Long and Winding Shortcut / For You Foo'! (w/ Mr. T) (1970)
- The Long and Winding Chode (1970)
- Across the Tune Is Worse / The Two of Us Crammed a Lot of Filler on This Album (1970)
- Pouring Scorn / Scoring Porn! (w/ Yoko) (1970)
- Rape and Back Bite Her / Tribute to Marv Albert (w/ Bob Crane) (The 90's?!)
- Helter Schmelter / Got to get some pot
- With no help at all from my "friends"/ I want to fuck your dog
UK Album Discography
- Please Please Yourself (I Love Watching You do It) (1963)
- Within the Beatles Without the Beatles (1963)
- A Hard On's Night (1964)
- Clowns For Sale (1964)
- Shit! (1965)
- Rubbeer Bollocks (1965)
- BB Gun (1966)
- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely I ♥ Huckabees Club Band (1967)
- Tragical Hystery Tour (1967)
- Ringo Needs Some Money (1967)
- The White Supremacy Album (1968)
- Abbey Street West (1969)
- Let It Bleed
- Anthropology I-LXXX (1994)
- Lt. Dan's Lonely Hearts Club Thing Remix Extravaganza (1995)
- Two (2000)
- Let It Bleed... Explicit Sexual Content Version (2003)
- Hate (Beatles Album) (2006)
- The blood red album See also We turned into vampires and have come to suck your
cockblood (2010)
- The bleak album(2010)
Ps.: I Hate You, errr, I mean, during the year 1970, the Beatles fell in love with themselves and picked the album Revolver, originally from 1966, and released it 12 times, one each month, just to have free cocktail parties off EMI's ass more often. Them album sold a record number of 11 copies (on each month) and failed to reach 12th because Ringo's mom lost her pennies on a trip to China where she hoped to buy some crystal meth.
US Album Discography
- The Beatles do Wing (2003)
- Savage Auld Beatles (1812)
- BBC Lessons(1822)
- Have You Heard About The Beatles Lately? (1964)
- Beat the Meatles! (an unnoticed typo) (1964)
- The Beatles' Second/Third Album (1964)
- A Hard On's Fight (1964)
- Something Borrowed (1964)
- The Beatles' One Year Story (1964)
- Beatles Year Two, Album Either IX, X, or XI: '65 (1965)
- The Beatles of Two Years Ago Before Capitol Would Release Us (1965)
- Damn! (1965)
- Rubbers Bollocks (1965)
- Yesterday, Tomorrow... And Today... And The Day Everybody But Paul Died (1966)
- Handgun (1966)
- Sgt. Lt. Pepper's Only Lonely Hearts Club Bandana (1967)
- Sgt. Pepper's Finger Lickin' Chickin Stand (1967)
- Dr. Pepper's Tastey Beverage Can (1967.5)
- Magical Hysterectomy Tour (1967)
- - (Finally A Shorter Album Name) (1968)
- Yellow Submachine (1969)
- Abby Street West (1969)
- Hey Jew (1970)
- Leave It Be (1970)
- The Beatles Meet K*I*S*S* While K*I*S*S* Is Already En Route To Meeting The Phantom Of The Park But They Decide To All Watch J*A*G* And M*A*S*H* Instead (1970)
- Ringo Needs Some Money (1982)
- Anthropology I-LXXX (1995)
- Anthropology LXXXI - The sounds of Ringo scraping the bottom of a barrel (1997)
- Leave It Be... Nude Version (2003)
- Hate (2006)
- Twist and Die (An album about Paul and Ringo's coming of age, and deteriorating joints) (2007)
- Paul's Dead- songs include: (Paul's Not Dead)
- About Time To Dig Through The Beatles' Seemingly Endless Back Catalogue And Shit Out Another Special Edition Album, Right? (1988-present)
Kuwait Album Discography
- Wednesday Morning, 3 A.M. (1964)
- Sounds of Silence (album)|Sounds of Silence (1966)
- Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme (1966)
- Bookends (1968)
- Bridge over Troubled Water (1970)
- A Hard On's Night (1964)
- Help Yourself, Loser! (1965)
- Help! 2: Electric Boogaloo (1966)
- Tragical History Whore And How This Was All Paul's Idea Anyway p.s. cause he's dead man (1967)
- Yellow Tambourine (voiced by imperfect clones) (1968)
- The Beatles meet Namor the Sub-mariner (1969)
- Let us Pee (1970)
- Stoned (2005)
- The Beatles: One Night in Paris (Video footage from the famous 1967 concert) (2006)
- The Long and Winding Abbey Road & Apple Get Back off my Frog (2006)
Upcoming Films
- We Told You Royalty Stole Our Ideas (2008) (pre-production)
- The Beatles: A Night at the Roxbury (2009) (complete but will be release as "The Homeless: A Night with Michael Jackson)
- One Virgin: Yoko's Story (2009) (announced)
- A Disgrace of Percussion: The True Feat Unconquered (2010) (announced)
- Gigli
- The Beatles: Rattle Your Jewelry Up There (2012) (Royal Documentary)
The Beatles made a come back tour with Paul, Justin Beiber and two unidentified musicians.
See also
- Anti-Beatles (a much better band)
- Beatlemania
- Beatlefication
- British Invasion
- Rutles
- The Shakesbeatles
- Batles
- Flying Pigs
- Hey Jude
- Revolution 393
- Tickets
- Beatles About
- The Beatles (TV series)
External links
|The Beatles
|John Lennon | Sir Paul McCartney | Sir Pete Best | George Harrison | Ringo Starr | The Fifth Beatle | Sir Yoko Ono
|Thank Thank You (1962) | A Hard Gay's Night (1964) | Beatles For Sail (1964) | Hell! (1965) | Revolter (1966) | Revolver (1966) | Sgt. Lt. Pepper's Only Lonely Hearts Club Bandana (1967) | Ringo Needs Some Money (1967) | Tragical Mystery Tour (1967) | The Beatles: Ecological Number Ones (1968) | The White Album (1968) | Yellow Sub Machine (1969) | Crabby Road (1969) | Let It Be (1970)
|Related articles
|Beatlefication | Beatlemania | The Beatles In India | British Invasion | Liverpool | Paul is dead | McCartneyism | The Revolution: A history | Maxwell Edison | BBC | Beatles About | The Beatles Tribute Band | Mark David Chapman | UnNews:John Lennon denied resurrection for fourth time | The Rutles
|Notable songs
|"Back in the U.S.S.R." | "Hey Jude" | "I Am the Walrus" | "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" | "Why?:Don't we do it in the road?" |


text:
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His name's already on a plaque inside the county's senior activity center, but soon, the outgoing judge-executive will have his name somewhere a little larger – the side of the building.
At a recent fiscal court meeting, Deputy Judge-Executive Paula Gish announced to the court the intention of the county to put Judge-Executive Duane Murner's name on the county's senior center activity building.
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text:
Baking Powder Biscuits
- Prep Time: 15 min
- Cook Time: 10 min
- Ready Time: 30 min
- Yield: 14 Biscuits
- 2 cups Pillsbury BEST™ All Purpose Flour
- 3 teaspoons baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 cup Crisco® All-Vegetable Shortening
- 3/4 to 1 cup milk
Preparation Directions
- HEAT oven to 450°F. COMBINE flour, baking powder and salt in large bowl; mix well. With pastry blender or fork, cut in shortening until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Stirring with fork, add enough milk until mixture leaves sides of bowl and forms a soft, moist dough.
- TOSS dough lightly on floured surface until no longer sticky. Roll or press dough to 1/2-inch thickness. Cut with floured 2-inch round cutter. Place on ungreased cookie sheet.
- BAKE 8 to 12 minutes or until light golden brown. Serve warm.
- TIP FOOD PROCESSOR DIRECTIONS: In food processor bowl with metal blade, combine flour, baking powder and salt. Process with 5 on/off pulses to mix. Add shortening to flour mixture. Process until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Add 1/2 to 2/3 cup milk; process with on/off pulses just until ball starts to form. On lightly floured surface, roll or press dough to 1/2-inch thickness. Cut with floured 2-inch round cutter. Continue as directed above.
- BUTTERMILK BISCUITS: Add 1/4 teaspoon baking soda to flour. Substitute buttermilk for milk.
- CHEESE BISCUITS: Add 1 cup (4 oz.) shredded Cheddar cheese to flour-shortening mixture. Bake on cookie sheet sprayed with no-stick cooking spray.
- DROP BISCUITS: Increase milk to 1 1/4 cups. Drop dough by spoonfuls onto greased cookie sheets.
- SOFT-SIDED BISCUITS: Place biscuits in 9-inch round or square pan or on cookie sheet with sides touching. Bake at 450°F for 12 to 14 minutes.
High Altitude (above 3500 ft.):
- No change.
Nutritional Information Per Serving
Serving Size (1 biscuit), Calories 130 (Calories from Fat 70), Total Fat 7g (Saturated Fat 2g, Trans Fat 0g), Cholesterol 0mg, Sodium 190mg, Total Carbohydrate 15g (Dietary Fiber 0g, Sugars 1g), Protein 2g; Percent Daily Value*: Vitamin A 0%, Vitamin C 0%, Calcium 8%, Iron 6%.
*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet.
* Ensure all recipe ingredients are gluten free by referencing the ingredient labels, as products may vary. If uncertain, contact the ingredient manufacturer.


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Solavore Sport
this wiki
State-of-the-Art Insulation
Good insulation is the most critical requirement for a great performing solar oven. The Sport insulation has an excellent R 6.5 value. It is reinforced with glass fibers to protect it from heat degradation and help it resist crushing.
The Sport insulation material will not absorb water. It is composed of thousands of tiny, sealed, air holes that water cannot penetrate. This is a key design feature because moisture is always present in solar cooking as steam and humidity.
Exclusive Insulated Top
All solar ovens must let in sunlight. Most designs lack insulation in the lid resulting in heat loss during extended cooking times. The Sport lid is insulated with an innovative, exclusive, 1-inch air gap between the thicker molded lid and the taped on plastic film.
No Tip-Over
Tip-over from wind, rough terrain or slope can be a major issue in solar cooking. The broad footprint and low center of gravity of the Sport make it aerodynamically and physically stable.
Summer & Winter Cooking Positions
The Sport is designed to cook in two positions: a 60-degree slant for a lower angle sun, (winter) and a 30-degree slant for direct, overhead sun, (summer).
The 60-degree slant happens when the oven is placed on its back, and requires slightly smaller pots than come with the kit.
News and recent developments
- March 2006: Last year, 300 unassembled SPORT solar ovens were purchased by St. Edwards Catholic Church of Bloomington, Minnesota (USA) for the community of Jinotega. The cookers were assembled locally under the direction of volunteers Sue Kellet and Andrew Knutson, who were also responsible for trainings. SPORTs were sold to families at a subsidized price of $10. Staples like rice, beans and bananas were popular solar dishes. Other solar foods included chicken dishes, vegetable stews with milk, and cooked mangos. One solar cook commented that the mangos cooked better in the solar cooker than over a fire. More information...
Purchase this cooker
This cooker can be purchased from Solar Cookers International (proceeds support this site and our international work) or from the Solar Oven Society.
Audio and video
- August, 2012
See also
External links
Solar Oven Society
3225 Hennepin Avenue East
Suite 200
Minneapolis, MN 55413
Tel.: (612) 623-4700
Fax: (612) 623-3311
Email: firstname.lastname@example.com
Web: http://www.solaroven.org


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Gonadotropin-Releasing Hormone (GnRH) for Infertility
|Generic Name
|gonadotropin-releasing hormone
How It Works
Gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) is produced by the hypothalamus. It stimulates the pituitary gland to produce luteinizing hormone (LH) and, to a lesser extent, follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH).
Why It Is Used
GnRH treatment is commonly used:
- When clomiphene (Clomid) treatment has not stimulated egg follicles to develop on the ovaries.
GnRH works most effectively when used to replace the natural GnRH in women and men whose bodies do not produce enough of it. GnRH may be given:
- To a woman who is not ovulating because her hypothalamus is not stimulating hormones that trigger ovulation (hypothalamic amenorrhea).
- To a man who is not producing sperm because his hypothalamus is not stimulating the hormones that trigger sperm production.
How Well It Works
GnRH use results in few multiple pregnancies (usually twins).
Some studies report that the pregnancy rate after a cycle of treatment with GnRH is about 20%.1
Side Effects
All medicines have side effects. But many people don't feel the side effects, or they are able to deal with them. Ask your pharmacist about the side effects of each medicine you take. Side effects are also listed in the information that comes with your medicine.
Here are some important things to think about:
- Usually the benefits of the medicine are more important than any minor side effects.
- Side effects may go away after you take the medicine for a while.
- If side effects still bother you and you wonder if you should keep taking the medicine, call your doctor. He or she may be able to lower your dose or change your medicine. Do not suddenly quit taking your medicine unless your doctor tells you to.
Call 911 or other emergency services right away if you have:
- Trouble breathing.
- Swelling of your face, lips, tongue, or throat.
Call your doctor if you have:
- Hives.
Side effects of this medicine include:
- Itching and redness at the site of the IV (intravenous) catheter.
- Infection at the site of the IV catheter.
- Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (rare).
See Drug Reference for a full list of side effects. (Drug Reference is not available in all systems.)
What To Think About
GnRH poses less risk of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome than does human menopausal gonadotropin (hMG), another treatment for ovulation problems. The small pump used for GnRH may be bothersome to some people. But hMG treatment requires daily monitoring by a doctor.
Taking medicine
Medicine is one of the many tools your doctor has to treat a health problem. Taking medicine as your doctor suggests will improve your health and may prevent future problems. If you don't take your medicines properly, you may be putting your health (and perhaps your life) at risk.
There are many reasons why people have trouble taking their medicine. But in most cases, there is something you can do. For suggestions on how to work around common problems, see the topic Taking Medicines as Prescribed.
Advice for women
After you know you are pregnant, do not use any medicines unless your doctor tells you to. Some medicines can harm your baby. This includes prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, herbs, and supplements. And make sure that all your doctors know that you are pregnant or trying to get pregnant.
Follow-up care is a key part of your treatment and safety. Be sure to make and go to all appointments, and call your doctor if you are having problems. It's also a good idea to know your test results and keep a list of the medicines you take.
Complete the new medication information form (PDF)(What is a PDF document?) to help you understand this medication.
Last Revised: May 14, 2012
Author: Healthwise Staff
Medical Review: Sarah Marshall, MD - Family Medicine & Femi Olatunbosun, MB, FRCSC - Obstetrics and Gynecology
This information does not replace the advice of a doctor. Healthwise, Incorporated disclaims any warranty or liability for your use of this information. Your use of this information means that you agree to the Terms of Use. How this information was developed to help you make better health decisions.
To learn more visit Healthwise.org
© 1995-2013 Healthwise, Incorporated. Healthwise, Healthwise for every health decision, and the Healthwise logo are trademarks of Healthwise, Incorporated.


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INDIANAPOLIS (Indiana's NewsCenter) - Indiana Secretary of State Charlie White could be in more hot water.
Charlie White is under investigation for allegedly abusing his power in office.
The Indiana Inspector General's Office is looking into claims White improperly accessed a 265 page report, containing evidence against him on allegations of voter fraud.
He was recently indicted on voter fraud charges among other things.
He has been absent from his Statehouse office since being indicted.
What are your thoughts CLICK HERE to leave us a "QUESTION OF THE DAY" comment.
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COMMON BRAND NAME(S): Cetrotide
Cetrorelix is used in women having certain fertility treatments (controlled ovarian stimulation). This medication prevents eggs from being released too early (premature ovulation) by blocking the hormone (gonadotropin-releasing hormone-GnRH) that causes eggs to be released from the ovaries. This gives the eggs time to develop properly.
This medication is usually used with another hormone (human chorionic gonadotropin-hCG) to help you become pregnant. HCG is used to cause the growth and release of a mature egg (ovulation).
This medication must not be used if you are already pregnant. Your doctor may order a pregnancy test before your first dose.
Read the Patient Information Leaflet provided by your pharmacist before starting this medication and each time you get a refill. You will be trained by a health care professional on how to properly use this medication. Learn and understand all preparation and usage instructions.
Follow all instructions for proper mixing with the correct fluid provided with this medication. Before using, check the solution visually for particles or discoloration. If either is present, do not use the liquid. Use the solution immediately after the medication is mixed. Discard any unused solution. If you have questions regarding the use of this medication, consult your pharmacist.
Wash hands with soap and water before using this medication. Before injecting each dose, clean the injection site with rubbing alcohol. If you are injecting daily, it is important to change the location of the injection site every day to avoid discomfort and problem areas under the skin.
Inject this medication under the skin in your lower abdomen, at least 1 inch (2.5 centimeters) away from your navel, as directed by your doctor. Your doctor may direct you to inject a single dose or to inject a smaller dose once daily for several days. The timing of your injection, your dosage, and your length of treatment is based on your medical condition and response to treatment. When an ultrasound shows that you are ready, a second medication (hCG) is usually injected to cause the eggs to mature and release (ovulation).
Be sure to keep all medical appointments so your doctor can closely monitor your response to determine the dosage that is right for you and the time you should use the next medication.
Use this medication exactly as directed by your doctor in order to get the most benefit from it. If your doctor has directed you to inject this medication more than once, use it at the same time each day.
Learn how to store and discard needles and medical supplies safely. Consult your pharmacist.
Nausea, headache, and pain/bruising/redness/swelling/itching at the injection site may occur. If any of these effects persist or worsen, tell your doctor promptly.
Remember that your doctor has prescribed this medication because he or she has judged that the benefit to you is greater than the risk of side effects. Many people using this medication do not have serious side effects.
Tell your doctor right away if any of these rare but very serious side effects occur: severe pain/swelling/cramping in the abdomen.
A very serious allergic reaction to this drug is rare. However, seek immediate medical attention if you notice any symptoms of a serious allergic reaction, including: rash, itching/swelling (especially of the face/tongue/throat), severe dizziness, trouble breathing.
This is not a complete list of possible side effects. If you notice any other effects not listed above, contact your doctor or pharmacist.
In the US -
Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088 or at www.fda.gov/medwatch.
In Canada - Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to Health Canada at 1-866-234-2345.
Before using cetrorelix, tell your doctor or pharmacist if you are allergic to it; or to other hormones (e.g., GnRH); or if you have any other allergies. This product may contain inactive ingredients (such as mannitol), which can cause allergic reactions or other problems. Talk to your pharmacist for more details.
Before using this medication, tell your doctor or pharmacist your medical history, especially of: history of severe allergic reactions, kidney disease.
This medication must not be used during pregnancy. If you become pregnant or think you may be pregnant, tell your doctor right away.
It is not known whether this drug passes into breast milk. Breast-feeding while using this drug is not recommended because it may harm the nursing infant. Consult your doctor before breast-feeding.
Your doctor or pharmacist may already be aware of any possible drug interactions and may be monitoring you for them. Do not start, stop, or change the dosage of any medicine before checking with your doctor or pharmacist first.
Before using this medication, tell your doctor or pharmacist of all prescription and nonprescription/herbal products you may use.
Keep a list of all your medications with you, and share the list with your doctor and pharmacist.
If overdose is suspected, contact a poison control center or emergency room right away. US residents can call their local poison control center at 1-800-222-1222. Canada residents can call a provincial poison control center.
Do not share this medication with others.
Laboratory and/or medical tests (e.g., ultrasound) may be performed to monitor your progress.
For the best possible benefit, it is important to receive each scheduled dose of this medication as directed. If you miss a dose, contact your doctor or pharmacist right away to establish a new dosing schedule. Do not double the dose to catch up.
Store the 3-milligram strength at 77 degrees F (25 degrees C) away from light and moisture. Brief storage between 59-86 degrees F (15-30 degrees C) is permitted.
Store the 0.25-milligram strength in the refrigerator at 36-46 degrees F (2-8 degrees C). Protect from light.
Do not store in the bathroom. Keep all medicines away from children and pets.
Do not flush medications down the toilet or pour them into a drain unless instructed to do so. Properly discard this product when it is expired or no longer needed. Consult your pharmacist or local waste disposal company for more details about how to safely discard your product.
Information last revised October 2015. Copyright(c) 2015 First Databank, Inc.
With WebMD's Medicine Cabinet, you can check interactions with drugs.Go to medicine cabinet
©2005-2016 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See additional information.


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Sam is a passionate leader with his ability to ignite and inspire his team and an all round nice guy with phenomenal taste in great music and bad movies!
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www.Sweetsquared.com sells Nail and Beauty products to Salon professionals all over the UK and Ireland.


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Issue #68
Download Entire issue (Right-click and "Save as")
Social Anxiety: Kleptocracy is the Greatest Luxury - Allan Uthman
Sorry to Wake You: A Rousing Conversation - Matt Taibbi
Hillary Takes a Dive: Buffalo loves any kind of attention - Jeff Dean
Soylent Purple : The Finger Thing Makes More Sense Than You Thought - Allan Uthman
Bowtie Bondage: Newsworm Tucker Carlson Asks the Tough Questions - Matt Taibbi
Rooney Eyebrow Reserves to be Opened for Driling - Ian Murphy
Money Matta$$: Finincial Advice from 50 Cent
Cross Examination: Bible Study with Itza Crock
The Straight Dope: Growing Advice from Dr. Rotten
Music Reviews:
Voodoo Dollies CD Release Party
Full Treble Stereo/Day Month Year/Kamchatka
Movie Reviews:
Wide Right: The Losman Cometh - Ronnie Roscoe
Deep Fried - Jason Yungbluth
Bob the Angry Flower - Stephen Notley
Perry Bible Fellowship - N!cholas Gurewitch
I Witless News - I. Gonzalez
Issue #67
Download Entire issue (Right-click and "Save as")
Devil in an Ice-Bllue Dress: Nation Delights in Worship of Unattainable Affluence- Matt Taibbi
Inaugural Balls: Increased Freedom Exports Lead to Domestic Shortage - Allan Uthman
Dr. Strangefeld - Alexander Zaitchik
Ripped from the Headlines: WMD Not Found, Media Coverage Likewise - Matt Taibbi
Scores Injured as Landon Clone Ramages - N. Sorrenti
Beast Reader Opinion: This Tiger is Still on the Prowl
BEAST Art Director Accidentally Drinks Own Urine
Cross Examination: Bible Study with Itza Crock
Movie Reviews:
Wide Right: Wanna Bet? Pats are Sure Thing - Ronnie Roscoe
Issue #66
Download Entire issue (Right-click and "Save as")
The 50 Most Loathsome Americans of 2004
DLC Mooseshit: A Letter to Marshall Wittman - Matt Taibbi
2004: The Year in Regret Timeline
Time Lies: "Person of the Year" Issue Shits in Your Mouth & Calls it a Chocolate Sundae- Matt Taibbi
Tsunami Offers Heartfelt Apology
Giambra's Pets raise Questions, Concerns
Buffalo in Briefs: Looking Back
I HATE YOU: Channel 2 News "On Your Side"
Movie Reviews:
Wide Right: Bills, Bledsoe Just not Good Enough - Ronnie Roscoe
© 2004 The Beast
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Last we spoke, I'd written a column about how the fate of the Hartford pound dogs wasn't especially satisfying.
If you recall, six of the 14 pit bulls seized from a back yard shed a few weeks ago were returned to two men claiming to be their owners.
Police had no choice -- the law was on the owner's side.
Case closed.
Or so we thought.
Turns out one of the owners had a history of animal cruelty.
According to Bloomfield Animal Control Officer Christine Sparks, James Gilliam had two previous cruelty charges -- including one where in 2007 she found several scarred dogs in a closet.
Back then, she recommended to the court that Gilliam not be allowed to own any more dogs. Great call. But she doesn't have a lot of time to follow every case to its conclusion, so she wasn't sure if the courts took her advice.
Enter Hartford ACO Sherry Degenova, who called Sparks inquiring about the guy's history.
That collaboration spelled bad news for Gilliam, but great news for the rescued dogs.
After a little investigation, Sparks discovered the courts had indeed followed her recommendation.
So Monday cops re-seized two shed dogs plus a third dog from Gilliam's home.
The dogs need to be evaluated before they will be considered for adoption. But how's that for an ending that just keeps getting better?
If you're keeping count, that now makes ten of the 14 seized dogs rescued.
There's a lesson here, I think: Don't mess with ACO's.


text:
New Programs this Fall at Vol State Livingston
Submitted on July 09, 2012 at 9:28 AM
New programs and classes are coming to Volunteer State Community College at Livingston this fall. They include a program especially for new college students. Freshman Experience Tracks feature ease in registration and extra academic support. The courses are group learning experiences, where students take several classes together.
Logistics will be offered in Livingston this fall. The Logistics and Supply Chain Management field is fast-growing and much of the Vol State coursework can be done online to accompany the traditional classes offered. Those interested in the program can visit the Vol State website for more details.
Earn a Criminal Justice Technical Certificate in only one semester this fall and use the coursework for an associate of science or associate of applied science degree if you choose. Criminal Justice will be offering several courses including Introduction to Criminal Justice, Criminal Investigation and Terrorism and Homeland Security.
If you are considering a career as a Veterinary Tech, then enroll in Livingston's Introduction to Veterinary Technology course. For those interested in Bluegrass music Bluegrass Seminar I and Ensemble I classes will be offered, as well as private instruction in bluegrass guitar, mandolin, banjo and bass.
Human Anatomy and Physiology is always a required course for health degrees. Students can take it in the state-of-the-art Livingston biology lab. Students interested in the health fields can take classes this fall in Medical Terminology and Introduction to Health Information Technology, among others.
Some people already have college credits and would like to finish a degree. Advisors can help walk new students through the process. There will be more than 90 classes to choose from in Livingston this coming fall semester. Vol State at Livingston is a degree granting campus, which means students can take an entire two-year degree program in Livingston, or take classes that will apply to other programs and degrees at the College. Livingston offers many general education requirement classes. They provide an opportunity for students to take basic courses that can apply for credit at many other colleges and universities, including Tennessee Tech University in Cookeville.
Registration for the fall semester is open now. Classes start August 25. Students can register online or in-person at the Livingston campus, 113 Windle Community Road. New students will need to apply to the college before they can register for classes. That can be done in-person or online at www.volstate.edu. For more information or to speak to an advisor call 931-823 7065 or toll free 800-563-8220.
A service provided by the Office of Public Relations.