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Tag Archives: wedding planning
Surprise! It's a Rabbi!
In the days after our engagement, we began to imagine our wedding. I had thought about a possible future wedding many times in the past, but the realness of that imagined wedding became heightened by our official engagement. Distant ideas like, "getting married outside might be nice," were suddenly translated into Google searches for "outdoor wedding venues." One of the first questions we asked ourselves was, "Who do we want to officiate?" I was actually surprised by how quickly the answer came to me. After flipping through the various options in my mind, I knew a rabbi was the right choice for us. I asked Amma what she thought of the idea, and without skipping a beat, she completely agreed.
Just a couple of years ago I don't think either of us would have guessed that we would be married by a rabbi. For starters, neither of us is technically Jewish (depending on how you define Jewish). One could argue (and I often do) that I am Jewish because my grandparents are. Whether or not that argument wins, depends on the audience. Because I wasn't raised Jewish, and whatever lineage I do have is on my father's side, some would say I'm a far cry, but that has never stopped me from feeling Jewish! And that isn't the only reason we want a rabbi for our ceremony.
As Amma and I examined our decision, we discovered our desire for a tie to something greater than ourselves to play a meaningful role in our wedding. We may not be religious, but we do feel a strong spiritual connection to humanity, the universe and God. It was clear to us that we wanted the person leading us into our marriage to be someone who is dedicated to that greater spiritual connection.
Also on a spiritual level, being two women, we felt that our union would be best endorsed and honored by the heart, experience and wisdom of a woman. Reform Judaism has not only been ordaining women and LGBTQ rabbis since the early 1970s but also supporting its followers in the LGBTQ community. This history of equality and acceptance was yet another great reason for us to adopt Judaism into our wedding and our lives.
So we knew we wanted a rabbi, but we still had to find the right one. I didn't know what I would find when I started my search. Not only had we just moved to Philadelphia, but we also weren't part of a Jewish community. I went online and Googled "Philadelphia rabbis," and up popped an ad for InterfaithFamily. I didn't know what InterfaithFamily was, but it sounded inclusive and open-minded, so I clicked. I liked what the InterfaithFamily community stood for and it seemed like it had grown from a wonderful place of wanting to bring people together. The fact that they had a rabbi referral service was more than I could have dreamed of.
The referral service was exactly what I needed, and my request was handled with care and attention. When I received a response from Rabbi Frisch, it felt like a gift. The questions on the referral form were used to compile a list of potential rabbis who were appropriately matched to our needs. It was fun learning about all these different rabbis. I did an Internet search for each candidate to find out more.
After narrowing the list down to a handful of rabbis who I thought might be a good fit, I sent out initial emails. I felt hopeful as the responses began popping up in my inbox. There were two or three who, through the tone and wording of their emails, felt like they could be "the one." But over the next week or so, each conversation resulted in a dead end due to various issues, and there I was back at the drawing board, feeling defeated.
Rabbi Frisch must have heard my prayer, because the next morning I received an email from her asking how my search was going. I wrote back describing my fruitless efforts. In my reply I also felt inspired to talk about my strong desire to have a rabbi marry us, and why. Much to my surprise, but true to her generous nature, she offered to be our rabbi. I can't begin describe my delight. Not only did I already feel like I was getting to know her through the emails we had written back and forth, but I absolutely knew she was a perfect fit for us.
There is something about the way everything worked out that just feels like fate. Since Rabbi Frisch agreed to officiate, we have met in person to chat and get to know each other better. Suffice it to say, we all hit it off wonderfully! We plan on meeting a few more times before the wedding to talk about the ceremony in more detail, and we can't wait to see her again.
Top 3 Wedding Planning Tips from a Beginner
I have planned exactly one party in my lifetime. It was a surprise sweet sixteen birthday party for my best friend during our sophomore year of high school. The party was held in my parents' basement decorated with balloons and streamers. Party guests successfully pulled off the surprise and spent the rest of the evening gobbling slices of pizza and birthday cake while mingling and listening to the latest tunes playing on my boom box.
Fast forward 12 years to 2016. I am knee deep in planning the biggest party of my life…my wedding! Jarrett and I are approaching our one year engagement anniversary (March 20th) and have been busy wedding planning for nearly 11 months now. We continue checking items off of our to-do list as we move closer to our October 2016 wedding. While our to-do list is much shorter than it was 11 months ago, it's safe to say I probably looked like a happy deer in headlights last April. I was so excited about our recent engagement but had NO idea where to begin when it came to wedding planning. So I thought it might be helpful to share some planning tips that worked for us. We are by no means professionals when it comes to wedding planning but we're having a lot of fun figuring it out!
1. Talk Details! Jarrett and I sat down one day and discussed everything we knew about weddings (mostly from the weddings we had recently attended). We brainstormed what we wanted and did not want in our day. We talked seasons: Summer? Too hot. Winter? Too cold. Spring? A spring 2016 wedding would only allow one year of planning which felt too rushed. We also discussed that weddings are very expensive and the additional months of planning would allow us to save more money. We had made our decision. A Fall 2016 wedding would allow a year and a half for all of the planning, decision making and money saving (it also happened to be my favorite season!). We drafted a guest list based on who we knew we would be inviting plus estimated a number for our parents' guest lists. Our guest estimate totaled 150-200 individuals so we knew we needed a venue that accommodated at least 200.
Finally, while the wedding day is about celebrating us as a couple, we knew the majority of our guests would be traveling to celebrate with us and we did not want our wedding day to be an inconvenience for our friends and family. We knew we wanted a Saturday evening wedding with the ceremony and reception at the same location. So we had determined season, guest count and venue wish list. Then we discussed budget. We listed each wedding vendor we would need for our wedding day (Venue, Caterer, Photographer, DJ, Florist and Officiant). We created a budget range for each potential vendor prior to setting up any appointments. From there, we estimated a total budget range for all wedding vendors plus additional details (wedding dress, invitations, etc). It seemed we had it all planned on scratch paper! Now what?!
2. Get Organized! After our engagement, friends and family members had bought me a number of wedding magazines and I was so excited to start browsing through for inspiration. Over time, I started cutting ideas I liked out of the magazines so I could keep them in a pile and easily access them. I realized I needed somewhere to hold all of our wedding planning resources. I bought a three-ring binder and visited one of my favorite websites, Pinterest, and searched for "Wedding Organization Printables." I found free print-out dividers and resources for "financials," "guest list & seating" and "timeline/to-dos." I knew that everything would be in one place and nothing would get lost. Through each step, I write in the amount we spent and checked it off the to-do list! As we decided on each vendor, I placed signed copies of our contracts in the binder so I could refer back to them when I needed a quick reference or to see when a future payment was due.
3. Do Your Homework/Be Willing to Be Flexible! I began searching for wedding vendors in the Philadelphia/South Jersey area. I utilized "The Knot" website/app on my phone to search vendors by location. The app made it easy to learn details about different vendors and read reviews from people who had utilized their services. I could even look at samples of vendors' work (ie: photography/floral arrangements) on "The Knot" app.
First, we chose wedding venues to tour based on those that met our search criteria. We knew we would need a confirmed wedding date and venue selection before being able to book any additional vendors. I made the vendor appointments and Jarrett came along to every meeting to provide his opinion and support. It is helpful to make the decisions together since after all, it is our wedding day! We made a list of questions to ask before each meeting so we would be prepared. The reason I suggest being flexible is because many wedding venues, especially popular ones book up far in advance. We toured a wedding venue in April 2015 and fell in love with it. We knew we wanted to host our wedding there but it was booked through September 2016 for Saturday weddings. This is how we decided on an October wedding date (based on venue availability). If you have your heart set on a specific wedding date, you may need to be flexible with your venue choice. The more time you allow for planning, the more choices you will have!
Other selling points for our venue included the staff; they thoroughly and professionally answered all of our questions and put our worries at ease. We learned that we could have both our ceremony and reception on-site and they even had on-site catering and bar service so we were able to save a few steps. Once we selected our venue, we continued booking our remaining wedding vendors one by one. We carefully read the vendor reviews, made lists of questions and compared prices and availability for our chosen wedding date.
My final planning tip would be to have fun! Many people have told me wedding planning is so stressful and they were happy when it was over. Truthfully, because we gave ourselves a lot of planning time, I have been enjoying this life chapter and may miss it when it all comes to an end because it's truly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. We are still seven months away from the big day and there is still so much to do but I am content in what we have been able to accomplish thus far; especially since we're figuring it out on our own and with the support of one another! Next up on the to-do list: designing invitations and yarmulkas! Stay tuned for more wedding fun.
When Online Dating Went Off the Grid
When I was single, I spent a lot of time on OKCupid. But when I got Jean's message, I'd never seen her profile before. My filter was set to see only women up to age 33. I was 37. Jean was 36.
I wasn't ageist—at least that's what I tell myself—but I want to have kids. When I did the math in my head—1 year minimum dating + 1 year minimum engagement + 1 year minimum to have a baby—the math got hard. There were other things to be wary of. She was a teacher. I had dated teachers before and was looking for something different. And then, under religion: "Catholic."
When you've spent enough time on dating sites, you know what it means (or what you think it means) when someone who isn't Jewish mentions their religion. It's a big, almost political, statement. It means their religion means something to them. It means they knowingly are excluding a significant number of potential suitors who are actively anti-religious, non-religious or uncomfortable with the whole topic. And it probably excludes another not insignificant number of people who are wary of anyone being too serious about anything on OKCupid.
My profile said "Jewish." But "Jewish" comes with a lot more useful flexibility than "Catholic." When people write "Jewish," they could be declaring an important part of their identity. Or, they could be sharing an interesting detail, a conversational topic for late in a good first date. They could be including "Jewish" for other Jews on the site who will only date Jews, as a way to make it through their filter. Occasionally, people write "Jewish" because they're actually religious. Then again—most of those people are on JDate instead.
I wasn't against dating someone who wasn't Jewish. But I want to raise my kids Jewish. "Catholic" signaled a different intention.
But she was cute. She was rock-climbing in one picture. She held a (good) beer in another. There wasn't a pink Red Sox hat or Macchu Picchu picture in sight. I liked her message to me: It was thoughtful. She had read my profile. She appreciated that I noted that I was aware that my job description sounded "douchy." (I'm a business strategy consultant for the telecom industry. It does sound douchy.) I liked that. Also, I had recently broken up with somebody—a "perfect on paper" and Jewish, but not so perfect a match in reality, somebody—and was still kind of beat up about it. So I wasn't looking for anything serious at this point. I figured we could have fun for a little while.
She was late for our first date. Not terribly late, only 15 minutes or so.
"I'm sorry, I'm a time optimist," she said, a little out of breath. She didn't seem sorry.
"It's OK. I used to be a punctuality Nazi," I said. "But I've mellowed."
On our fourth date, she came over to my apartment.
By this point, I knew I liked her. She was smart. She was funny and self-deprecating but confident. She was a great listener. We always had something to talk about. But she didn't fit my script. The age, the profession, the religion, a vegetarian to boot. It sounds shallow—and it is. But online dating's greatest attraction (and no doubt its deepest flaw) is that it offers the promise of enough choice to find someone who actually fits your script. No settling necessary.
Liking her carried another danger, more significant than the risk of going off-script. Permanence. Permanence with somebody who cares enough about their religion that they include it on their online dating profile. Permanence with somebody who may feel strongly about raising her children Catholic, and will probably have better, clearer reasons for doing so than I do for wanting to raise my kids Jewish.
We were lying in bed, smiling at each other.
I asked her the question I knew could end things.
"Soooo…," I said, turning toward the ceiling. "This Catholic thing. What does it mean for you, in terms of how your kids are raised?"
She sat up. She seemed intrigued, not anxious, about the serious turn the conversation had taken.
I wasn't sure what answer I wanted to hear.
"Well. When a guy says they're Jewish on their online profile, I know it usually means he wants to raise his children Jewish. I wouldn't have sent you a message if I weren't prepared to do that."
"Seriously!" she said. "I go to church because I was raised Catholic. But I would probably be Muslim if I were raised Muslim. Or be Jewish if I were raised Jewish. I just want my children to be raised in a religion. What religion that is is less important."
This was someone to take seriously. What kind of person thinks a first message on OKCupid all the way through to child-rearing? Or rather, what kind of person actually makes a decision about a major life compromise they'd be willing to make before they hit Send? I knew she was thoughtful, but this was another level.
But this wasn't just a hurdle cleared, or even just a deep source of potential future conflict addressed early on and head-on. It was a gift, yes—as it is for all Jewish people whose partners are willing to make this compromise. It was also a challenge.
When two Jewish people decide to have a family, this kind of conversation can be put on the backburner. Regardless of whether they send their kids to Hebrew school or whether they observe Shabbat, the parents can be confident their children will identify as Jewish. Two Jewish parents + bagels and lox + appreciation for Woody Allen movies = Jewish upbringing. But when your partner who puts "Catholic" on her OKCupid profile says, "I just want my children to be raised in a religion," she is laying down a challenge: If you are making me sacrifice sharing my religion with my children, then you better be ready to share yours. Bagels and lox + Woody Allen movies ≠ Jewish upbringing. This means Hebrew school, bar mitzvahs, weekly Shabbat perhaps, talking to your children about God…
What had I gotten myself into?
A Jewish Wedding for a Catholic Girl
I was raised Catholic. I have received sacraments in the Catholic Church including Baptism, Penance, Holy Communion and Confirmation. While spirituality has always been an important part of my life, it has been a part of me that I have kept more reserved. As I grew through adolescence and into adulthood, the thought of marrying someone of a different religious background never crossed my mind. But after meeting Jarrett and growing closer, our different faiths became a norm in our relationship. We continue to teach each other about our different religious backgrounds and continue to respect each other for these differences… and that is how our relationship works.
Jarrett has been my wedding date to 10 weddings in the last two years. We have watched some of our closest friends and family members marry their significant others in Catholic, Jewish, Christian and non-denominational ceremonies. As each wedding came and went, I found myself thinking about what kind of wedding ceremony I might someday have. It wasn't until Jarrett and I got engaged in March of 2015 that I realized my thoughts would soon become actions as we prepared to plan our interfaith wedding.
When Jarrett and I sat down to begin wedding planning, he expressed to me how important it was to him to be married by a rabbi in a Jewish wedding ceremony. At this point in time, I had been to two Jewish weddings but felt they were truly unique and memorable. I liked that the Jewish ceremonies were personal and intimate with a strong focus on the bride and groom. While I have always felt that Catholic wedding ceremonies are beautiful and meaningful, I had never dreamed of getting married in a Catholic church and this was not a requirement I needed in order to marry my best friend. What mattered to me was what Jarrett felt to be important for our big day. It was special to hear him explain that his Jewish heritage was very important to him and that having a Jewish wedding was something he had always wanted. So it was settled. We would be married by a rabbi in an interfaith wedding ceremony with an emphasis on Jewish traditions. The only problems were, I did not know a lot about Jewish wedding traditions and had no idea where we would find an interfaith rabbi to marry us!
As fate would have it, while working in Philadelphia one day, I had a meeting with a pharmaceutical representative. At the end of the meeting, I asked her if she had plans for the upcoming holiday weekend (Easter). When she responded that she was Jewish and celebrates Passover, I found myself feeling somewhat embarrassed that I hadn't considered this before asking the question. I apologized then explained that my fiancé is also Jewish and that I celebrate Passover with him and his family. She asked about wedding planning and I explained that we had plans to look for a rabbi to marry us. She excitedly responded that she has a very close friend who just so happens to be a rabbi and the director of InterfaithFamily/Philadelphia. She gave me her friend's contact information and I reached out to introduce myself. Jarrett and I met with Rabbi Robyn Frisch and knew our search for the right wedding officiant was over before it had really even begun. Rabbi Frisch was kind, easy-going and non-judgmental. We look forward to working with her over the next several months and having her as an essential part of our big day!
During our second meeting with Rabbi Frisch, she provided us with some information to guide our decision-making through the ceremony-planning process. I was relieved to have someone to teach us more about Jewish wedding traditions so I could expand my knowledge and understanding throughout the planning process. Over the next several months, Jarrett and I will be busy making important decisions including designing our chuppah, choosing a ketubah and determining which Jewish wedding traditions to incorporate into our ceremony. As we continue to move closer to our wedding date, we are also looking forward to the opportunity to participate in InterfaithFamily's "Love and Religion" Workshop which will give Jarrett and I the opportunity to dive deeper into some challenging scenarios that may arise in our future as an interfaith couple. I feel this will help strengthen our bond and allow us to learn even more about each other as we approach marriage. I look forward to sharing our wedding planning experiences as we move closer to saying "I do" in eight short months!
The Day is Almost Here!
With days left until my wedding, I started reflecting on the planning process and how my life has changed in the year since we got engaged. Many changes large and small, good and bad, have defined my last year, and I have grown from it all. Most important, I am going into the wedding day with a new perspective on happiness and an eagerness to celebrate that joy with my best friend.
Happiness is not always some grand gesture, and it is not about being positive all the time. It is not about having only good things happen to you. The bad things that happened in my life taught me that happiness is in the subtleties. It is smiling at a stranger on the street and having them smile back. It is noticing how bright the sky is. It is watching the beads of water that collect on your partner's skin in the shower, the tiny twitch above his eyebrow when he is thinking and the edge of his dimple curl as he tells a joke to cheer you up.
Happiness is finding balance. It is going to the edge of your comfort zone, balancing there, and trying not to fall long enough for that to become your new equilibrium. After all, that is what I teach my yoga students, so why can't it be a life philosophy, too? To find your balance, you do not hold your breath and stay still. You breathe, you adjust, you waiver, and you may even fall. But the fall lets you know definitively where the edge of your balance is, and that is often a quicker and more poignant lesson than standing still.
In the spirit of learning and growing, I'm going to share my insight on my own Wedding Planning Process. I'm debating whether to even type this, but I think it may be funny for folks to read, and it may even be comforting. When we are in a good place, we often gloss over the bad, but I want to share my comedic take on where I have been with wedding planning the last year, because it has not all been pretty! I have gone through three distinct phases:
Stage 1 – Lust
This was my "Everything is Perfect" phase. Ohmigod we just got engaged, we are so happy, we are perfect together, I'm on top of the world! Ahh!!!! My face hurts from smiling! Oh you want to hear my proposal story? GLADLY! But sit down, it'll take me 30 minutes, because I want to tell every single detail. I was the Blushing Bride, and I thrived off of how happy it made me and the people around me. Throw a wedding contest into the mix that we won, and this lust stage lasted far longer than it may have otherwise. I was on cloud nine and nothing could bring me down.
Stage 2 – Screw This
This was my "Everything Sucks" phase. It was impossible to be the Blushing Bride forever. The bubble had to burst, and life helped it burst by adding some extra crap into the mix. Lots of extra crap. Thanks Life, now I am the Depressed Bride. (Really.) Oh I'm supposed to plan all these tiny details I care nothing about? Great, well I don't care anyway. That makes it better to not care, right? I'll go through the motions, or I'll procrastinate and nothing will get done. Ugh, that just made it even worse. I could have avoided going to the opposite extreme of the lust stage, but I do think a lot of people in my shoes would have done the same.
Stage 3 – Let's Do This
This is my "Everything Just Is" phase, and by that, I mean that it is perfect to us. Everything just is, for better or worse. Everything is how it is for a reason, and I accept and am grateful for that. Accepting the good with the bad, both in the wedding planning, in myself and in Jose, and knowing the decisions that were made will be amazing. That turned everything around for me. Maybe others would not struggle with oscillating between extremes in the way that I did, but that is part of what makes me who I am. That is why I devote extra attention to incorporating a daily mindfulness practice to stay balanced. Our best teachers in life often struggle from the problems they try to fix, and I hope that my personal experience working to stay balanced can inspire and lead others.
I am working hard to be the Balanced Bride and it feels great. I am eagerly anticipating the wedding day and the happiness I will feel looking into Jose's eyes. My engagement photos already showed me how happy I can be while some not-so-happy things were going on. There are things that will give Jose and I heavy hearts on our wedding day, but we must remember to feel grateful for the good things we do have in life. I can't wait until I get to marry my best friend!
Being this reflective in this third stage, I am incredibly proud of myself for accomplishing the feat of making my own invitations from scratch while I was in the second stage. I started the project to prove something to myself, and I surely did. While I wish that I did the project not to counter the crap going on in my life but to be fully devoted to the project, I no longer look at it that way. I proved to myself that I could learn an entirely new skill—making a wedding invitation.
I ordered paper online after careful research, did meticulous math to figure out the right sizes for making a tri-fold folder enclosure, invitation and additional inserts, and designed and printed the invitation and inserts with the help of my graphic designer friend. I cut, scored, folded, taped, corner rounded, aligned, belly banded and sealed all the invitations from scratch. I even took them to be hand stamped at the original Philadelphia post office (great call if you are deciding between that and regular mail). I pushed myself to do everything and I am grateful that I did. If you want any tips on how to make invitations, please ask! I don't want to bore everyone with the details here.
Bottom line is, remember in an earlier post where I wondered whether I could make the invitations from scratch or whether it would be a DIY disaster? Well it was far from a disaster, and the fact that most people did not even know they were handmade was the best part for me. Thanks guys!
But I would be remiss not to mention this for future brides: What seems fun doing one or two is not as fun when you do 100. Be prepared for blood, sweat and tears. (Really.) I did have an army of helpers on hand. Thank you to all of the family and friends who helped. You saved me from pulling my hair out and I could not have done it without you.
Here are some more photos of the process. If I ever decide to open at Etsy shop for invitations, at least I have all the supplies now! (But that will never happen.)
How to Include Everyone in Our Jewish-Mexican Wedding
By Hila Ratzabi
When José and I first started dating, my Jewish parents were not pleased. Though my mom is fairly liberal, some instinct flared up in her that has roots in centuries of Jewish fear of disappearance. Though that fear has lessened over the decades for many Jewish families, particularly in the U.S., it still rises up for many people, sometimes unexpectedly. What if my daughter loses her Jewish identity?, some parents wonder. What if the grandchildren aren't raised Jewish? Is this the end of the line?
For me and many other Jews like me, this fear is unfounded. I went to Jewish day school from kindergarten through high school, and even went on to get a degree in Jewish philosophy. While my Jewish practices have changed over the years, I have always been a proud and engaged Jewish woman. I was, and remain, confident that my connection to Judaism is strong enough to share with my husband who is not Jewish and our future children.
The road to acceptance took a few years, but by the time we were ready to get engaged my parents had thankfully come around. They gave us their blessing, and we set out to create a wedding that reflected my Jewish heritage and José's Mexican culture.
We had it fairly easy in that José does not identify with a particular religious tradition. He is a scientist and committed atheist; as a child he briefly attended a Baptist religious school in the small town in Baja where he was raised, but he definitively broke off with religion when he awakened to his atheism. While being an atheist, José has always supported and joined in with my Jewish practices. I'm not a believer either, but I love Jewish holidays, attending services and grappling with the big questions in life. Judaism is the lens through which I consider ethical dilemmas and the source of my commitment to social and environmental justice. These are things we're able to share.
We found an amazing Reconstructionist rabbi, Rachel Weiss, of Congregation Beit
Together with Rabbi Weiss, we designed a ceremony that honored the dual heritage we were bringing together. We included traditional Jewish elements, including the chuppah (wedding canopy), the seven blessings, the circling of bride and groom, the ketubah (marriage contract) and the ring exchange. We wrote our own ketubah text instead of using the traditional text, and changed the language of the ring exchange and seven blessings to be more inclusive and universal. The witnesses who signed our ketubah included two of our close friends who happen to be another interfaith/intercultural couple—Jewish and Indian. We had watched them create a beautiful marriage that included both of their cultures, and were inspired by their example.
José's grandmother was central to his upbringing, often standing in as a second parent since he didn't have a father in his life, so we wanted to make sure she was included and would understand what was going on at the wedding. Since his grandmother doesn't speak English, Rabbi Weiss explained each part of the ceremony before it was performed in both English and Spanish. José's grandmother found the customs fascinating and listened intently as they were described. We also had traditional Mexican paper cutouts (papel picado) created for our wedding, which served as decoration at the entrance of the garden where the ceremony took place.
My own Jewish background is somewhat mixed, in that my mother is Ashkenazi and my father is Yemenite on his father's side and Sephardic on his mother's side. To honor my late grandmother, Rabbi Weiss sang a Jewish song in Ladino, the Judeo-Spanish language that my grandmother had spoken. This was another way to bridge our cultures, having a taste of the Spanish language woven into an ancient Jewish song.
When it came to the reception, we just wanted to throw an awesome party. The raucous klezmer band Golem was essential to making that happen. The wedding took place in an art museum on Long Island, and since both José and I dabble in visual art, we made mini-paintings on mini-easels as souvenirs for our (very impressed) guests. We also brought a giant blank canvas and paints for guests to create a piece of collective artwork for us. The painting now hangs in our living room, reminding us of that incredible day.
During the reception, my mom gave a speech that chronicled her and my dad's evolution in coming to accept and share the joy in our relationship. They had truly done a "180," realizing over time that they had nothing to fear in my marrying "outside" the Jewish faith, and that I had found the life partner who was exactly right for me, and who they loved like a son. Now, three years later, I am pregnant, and we all can't wait to bring another person into our crazy, mixed family. Among our plans for the baby: teaching it Hebrew, Spanish… and if there's time, maybe even English.
When S**t Got Real
All the wedding planning up until now was smooth. It felt like a dream, somewhere between a fairytale type of dream and the feeling of being separated from reality. Like those moments when you first fall asleep and can't decide whether you are awake. At some point, I should have pinched myself to see if I was awake. Instead, life took care of that for me.
Things in my life changed. Some things were bad. Things started happening in the lives of those very close to me. Everything collided simultaneously. No matter what was happening, it wasn't raining—it was pouring, and I didn't have an umbrella. S**t got real.
I get angry thinking about earlier Emily in her previous posts. Why was she so darn cheery? Why was everything such a breeze for her? Screw her! When serious things started to happen in my life, I didn't think I could plan a wedding anymore. I did a lot of thinking and that thinking led to doubt. Were we making decisions without thinking about budget? What is our budget anyway? Did we research things enough to make informed decisions? Was this was the type of wedding I wanted? Were the things that were chosen for us as uniquely and appropriately "me" as I wanted them to be?
Yes, we won a wedding contest, and most of the vendors were chosen for us and are free, but other things are covered at a base price that we will end up upgrading. Still, other things are not covered at all. That may add up to a considerable amount of money in the long run. Since s**t had recently gotten real in my life, I started to get insanely frustrated when people said, "Well you won a free wedding so there's not much to complain or worry about." OK, maybe it was my fault for telling everyone it was free, but I was suddenly wrestling with my gratitude for winning and the reality of what the final bill would be. And I certainly did have a lot to complain and worry about aside from the wedding.
I am eternally appreciative of what we are receiving, and I hate saying anything that sounds less than grateful. After all, instead of being a free wedding, it's probably more like the sale-of-a-lifetime on a wedding, which no one really gets, and that's nothing to take lightly.
Things have started to come around for me. I think about where I was mentally in the last month, and I'm glad everything is evening out. I am excited to plan our wedding and I'm so excited to look into Jose's eyes as I say my vows. I realize that's what really matters, not all the silly decisions. He's been my rock through this adversity, and I'm weirdly grateful for everything that's happened, since this tough time has served to strengthen our partnership. It has reinforced that Jose is the man I want to spend my life with. He always has a way of making me laugh and bringing me back to what's important in life. He's my best friend and my soul mate.
I've turned the corner mentally, aided by the contemplative and introspective time of the Jewish "Days of Awe;" the time between the Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashanah) and the Day of Atonement (Yom Kippur). This time offers the chance to right your wrongs from the last year and reflect on how you'd like to improve in the next year. It's an interesting task to contemplate the sins you've made against yourself, your loved ones and your community. This offers a chance to connect deeper with family members and those close to you, and to reach out for support.
With plenty of time to think, I arrived at a place of happiness and contentment with our wedding choices and with what we have been given. The wedding will be incredible, and not because it's some magical fairytale, but because it's real. Because it isn't perfect. Because real s**t can happen in our lives and Jose and I can get through it together. Because we are better together than we are apart and I want to scream that from the top of the Loews Hotel Philadelphia in December!
The DIY Conundrum
Our wedding is three-and-a-half months away (yay!) and we have a lot to do. We checked off the major items and now we must decide on the smaller pieces. Should we do those things ourselves or hire professionals? The invitations, the honeymoon, and more—these are things we could design, plan and book ourselves if we want to. But do we want to?
In a dream world, which one could argue I spend too much time in, my love of Pinterest and TLC shows would translate into the DIY wedding of my dreams with no stress and at a fraction of the cost. These details that we have to plan now are not covered by the wedding contest that we won, so we can choose how to handle them. Do we put our stamp on them and hopefully save money, or do we spend money and let professionals handle them, because most other vendors are covered by the contest?
Sometimes I get lost in thought envisioning an alternate universe without the contest where I am three and a half months out but have drowned in a treacherous sea of bad DIY art projects flooded with ribbon and lace. It's not a pretty scene. Maybe winning the contest saved me from myself, and I should let trained professionals handle the rest. After all, it's a predictable formula where David Tutera has to swoop in to save the day: Girl gets big ideas for DIY wedding. Girl gets in over her head. Girl pulls all her hair out. Girl ends up hiring professionals.
For the save the dates, I did do them myself, and it was a DIY project that I'm very proud of. I hired a designer and friend of mine whose work I am fond of and we designed the font, colors and style that felt right for me and Jose. We designed them as postcards to save time and money, and I hand-cut each one with a ruler and X-Acto knife, which took a few hours on a Friday night. Jose and I even added our own touch with a cute hashtag (thanks Melanie!).
For the invitations, I'm at a crossroads now. Do I design them from scratch and source the paper and printer to live out my wildest fantasy of a very unique invitation, or do I go to an invitation shop, pick what we like most and call it a day? It's a black hole once you start Googling what past brides have done and what they've learned from the experience. There is good advice, but mostly there is just too much advice. Sometimes you gotta try it for yourself. Sometimes you gotta get dirt on your hands (or in the case of paper, blood!). But that's a very scary proposition and could end up taking more time and money than we want it to. Regardless, I visited Paper Source in Center City to look at paper, and I'm feeling very inspired to do them myself! I think I can pull it off.
For the honeymoon, we met a fantastic and inspiring "travel designer" who builds dream honeymoons from scratch. She was a riot and we loved her personality and approach. She has traveled the world and specializes in unique accommodations in cities around the globe. Things like treetop hotels and hard-to-find vacation rentals and scheduled itineraries. Ultimately, Jose and I decided that we love doing the research that goes into booking a trip and it feels more rewarding to book our own activities and places to stay, so we are going it alone without a travel agent. We booked our flight and are thrilled to say that our honeymoon will be in the Galapagos over the winter holidays! (That's literally all we've planned for the trip, though. Phew, we better get on that!)
For the rehearsal dinner, there are elements we might make DIY, too. I am gluten-free by necessity since I have Celiac disease, so I want to find a place that has options for me. My future sister-in-law has a severe seafood allergy, so we also need to find a place that can accommodate her. We are currently looking at unique spaces to rent where we can bring in a caterer of our choice instead of renting out a restaurant, but there are so many challenges (and costs!) to doing that.
Our dream would be to serve food that incorporates Jewish elements, since our rehearsal dinner and wedding are during Hanukkah, and Filipino elements to honor Jose's background (and because the food is delicious!). My dream on top of that dream is to have gluten-free jelly donuts (sufganiyot) for a traditional Hanukkah treat, but I may need to focus on the bigger picture and just plan the rehearsal dinner before I get too excited about dessert! It may be simpler and better to find the right restaurant with a price-fixed menu, so we could always end up going that route, but for this one we are exploring what DIY options may be out there.
Ultimately, the process of making these decisions is exciting and enjoyable for me, since I'm decisive about what I want and Jose is an active and involved partner. I won't look back and wonder "what if" I chose the wrong thing, because I know that no bride can go wrong with what she chooses. It's her wedding (and it's just a wedding) so if someone judges you for choosing differently than they would, so be it. You are doing it your way and making it your own. That is never wrong.
Keep following my blog for more updates on our wedding planning. I can only imagine (or hope) how much further along we'll be a month from now!
A Rabbi, a Puppy, a Catholic and a Jew Walk into a Bar
A rabbi, a puppy, a Catholic and a Jew walk into a bar… Sounds like the setup for a bad joke, right? Much the opposite. It was a brainstorming session for incorporating religious traditions and the things we love into our wedding ceremony.
Jose and I joined a reform synagogue last year—Rodeph Shalom on Broad Street. We joined not because I felt particularly religious at the time, and not because Jose is planning on converting, but because we felt a strong sense of community there. Jose accompanied me to a High Holiday service there a few years back and we noticed same-sex couples, multiracial couples and folks of all ages. It was eye-opening to me. Growing up in Baltimore, I had not seen that kind of diversity inside a synagogue. Jose and I instantly felt a welcoming and inclusive vibe and figured this synagogue must be doing something right. Jose even remarked that this was not the exclusive, "chosen" mentality he's previously encountered with Judaism. I agreed.
We took a class with a young rabbi by the name of Eli, and it proved extremely beneficial for us in understanding each other's spirituality. The class was called "Judaism 101," but it was not designed to preach Judaism's teachings. It was a discussion about the basic tenets of Judaism and whether we identify with those principles and ideas of god (little "g" and big "G"). With our classmates old and young, Jewish and not, religious and not, and of various racial and ethnic backgrounds, we discussed how each of our upbringings have influenced our thinking. Jose got to dip his toes further into the world of Judaism and I got a refresher course and some new information.
Rabbi Eli invited the class to his beautiful apartment in the city for Shabbat dinner and we loved the experience. We've since gone to a few other Shabbat/Hanukkah dinners through the synagogue and through InterfaithFamily, and we have kept in touch with events happening at the synagogue. Through the wedding contest that we recently won, the officiant was chosen for us. She is amazing (see my previous blog post!), but I wanted to incorporate a personal touch for the Jewish aspect of the wedding. The ketubah signing (Jewish marriage license) traditionally happens right before the ceremony and it is very important to me, so we reached out to Rabbi Eli to see if he would be interested in officiating it.
Rabbi Eli suggested we meet at a bar (how cool is that?) and we brought along our 7-month-old puppy and sat outside at one of the best bars in the city. If you had asked me at age 13 whether I'd be having drinks with a rabbi at a bar I would have slapped you and called you crazy. If you had even asked me whether I'd belong to a synagogue and have a rabbi that I called on, I might call you crazy for that. Needless to say, there we were.
We spoke with Rabbi Eli about the most meaningful thing to us in the wedding—the ceremony. Although we were there to discuss the ketubah signing, he became an amazing sounding board for all of our questions about the ceremony. We discussed what religious traditions we could incorporate and how the choices would be significant to our families and friends. We talked about how to involve our families in the ceremony. We disclosed that while we enjoy sharing our love publicly (if you are friends with us on Facebook you know), I am private about things that are important to me and I want the ceremony to feel intimate. Most of all, we expressed how we are using our engagement as a time for reflection about our relationship. We are honest about what we each want from our marriage and we recognize that this is the time in our lives to speak openly about it. (Sidenote: It's a lot less scary to ask your partner direct questions than to wonder what they think, and it's a lot easier to do it now than in 10 or 20 years.) Plus, we want to build a solid foundation for the rest of our lives together and we want to be prepared for any challenges that may arise.
One of the biggest challenges in planning a wedding is to avoid getting wrapped up in the minutiae. I am eternally grateful to have won a wedding contest, because it has, for the most part, allowed us to remain relatively free of financial woes and family drama that is usually inherent in planning a wedding. Surely, the time will come when those challenges appear, but for now we are able to keep our focus on the marriage, not on the wedding, and we can focus on the foundation we're building together.
After our meeting at the bar, Rabbi Eli shipped us a book he recommended we read, called Meeting at the Well: A Jewish Spiritual Guide to Being Engaged. I'm about halfway through it, and it's great. The focus of the book is on using the engagement period, however long it may be, to work through how you both feel about certain issues, religious and otherwise. While some of it can be cheesy, it does have exercises and discussion points on topics ranging from raising kids to intimacy to finances to how you spend your free time. It's a great resource for us to discuss things we never thought would be important. I learned some new things about Jose in the process, which truly surprised me after six years of dating and five years of living together.
Over the next few months, I'm looking forward to the fun stuff: bachelor and bachelorette parties, the tastings, the engagement photo shoot, working with the DJ on what songs to include and planning our honeymoon (no that's not included!). Stay tuned for more updates on our wedding planning!
Anything Can Happen When You Win a Free Wedding!
"I am excited to let you know that you and Jose have been selected as the winners for the wedding at the Loews Philadelphia Hotel!"
Wait, what? Let me read that again. We won a wedding?
Jose and I let out squeals of joy, called our families and started to hold on tight for what would inevitably be a wild ride.
We found out about the contest through Jose's coworker back in January, and we took our time to write a thoughtful statement, answering the prompt of how we volunteer and give back to our community. Jose and I both volunteer, so we thought we had a pretty good shot, but to actually win seemed totally crazy.
We had not done any wedding planning until that point and we were taking our time, planning on a long engagement. I wanted to enjoy being engaged and I didn't want to start researching and choosing vendors. I was also having a hard time accepting how much an average wedding costs.
When we won the wedding it changed everything (how could it not?). Our venue and food plus vendors including the florist, photographer/videographer, gown, officiant, life coaching and more would be mostly free. The stress and financial worries of planning a wedding were diminished and we could instead focus on the fun stuff and enjoy the process. It was such a blessing.
I decided to approach the entire experience differently from the start. For my wedding gown shopping, I invited my mom, sister and a few bridesmaids to join. Since my gown was included in the prize package and it was from one of the best shops in Philly, Lovely Bride, I knew I wouldn't be shopping around. So I asked one of my bridesmaids to bring a bottle of champagne to make the shopping experience a celebration!
As I tried on dress number three, and we were all gathered in the room together, my bridesmaid Madison, a certified sommelier who knows how to properly open a bottle, popped the champagne. And, because anything that can happen will, it EXPLODED all over the dressing room. It went on the ceiling, the walls, the floor, in her eyes and on all of the women in the room. It kept dripping from the ceiling onto me in a wedding dress. It left no area untouched. The entire bottle exploded. It was like something out of a movie. We later found out that the wine shop had kept the bottle in the freezer (Why? Who knows!).
The silence that filled the room was palpable, seemingly so thick you could touch it. A record started playing on repeat in my head: You now have to pay for this free dress. You now have to pay for this free dress.
A few frightening minutes passed, and my mom blurted out, "I have to clean something. Give me SOMETHING to clean." At which point the owner of the shop, the lovely Ivy Kaplin, started hysterically laughing. It was just too funny to not laugh. A sales associate was Swiffering the ceiling as I stood motionless and drenched in a wedding dress, and what else could we do but bask in the complete absurdity of the situation? Ivy and her associates were the coolest people I have ever met and didn't charge us for the mishap. They took it in stride and we were all laughing about it moments after it happened. Not only do I have quite a story to tell, but I also found the wedding dress of my dreams and it was not covered in champagne!
We've had an amazing time meeting with our vendors and thanking them for their services. We are thrilled to have the fantastic Jill Magerman, a certified Life Cycle Celebrant who happens to specialize in interfaith weddings, as our officiant. She invited us over for a Mother's Day brunch at her house (how cool is that?) and we talked for hours about what traditions we will incorporate from each of our religious and cultural backgrounds. We talked about Jewish traditions like standing under a chuppah (a four-post structure meant to symbolize the home), signing a ketubah (the Jewish marriage contract), breaking the glass (meant to symbolize the fragility of marriage, among many other things) and reading the sheva brachot (seven blessings for the couple's marriage).
We talked about Filipino and Catholic traditions, like being wrapped in a cord and veil (symbolizing the union of the couple, the bond they share and the purity of their love), presenting arras (coins that symbolize prosperity and the couple's commitment to mutually contributing to their relationship, their children and their community), and incorporating a unity ceremony, the details of which we have yet to determine. We also plan on incorporating Filipino traditions throughout the ceremony and reception, but I can't give away all the good details!
We've also met with the fabulous Vito Russo, VP at Carl Alan Designs, who is providing intricate and beautiful floral arrangements for the ceremony and reception. We are absolutely in love with his work, and we couldn't have asked for a better florist. It's uncanny how closely his style aligns with ours, and we didn't even choose him! It must be beshert (Yiddish for "meant to be")! This adventure is sure to bring on more excitement, funny stories, challenging obstacles and plenty to discuss and for which to be grateful. If you keep reading, hold on, it is going to be a wild ride!


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Robins & Morton celebrates topping out at Choctaw Nation Regional Medical Clinic
Robins & Morton celebrated the topping out of the new Choctaw Nation Regional Medical Clinic on March 29 at 10:00 a.m. The Choctaw Nation Durant Regional Medical Clinic is a 20-acre campus-style development which includes three buildings totaling 174,000 square … Continue reading
Robins & Morton's Cameron Brafford takes silver at National Craft Championship
Robins & Morton craft professional Cameron Brafford won the silver medal in pipe welding at the National Craft Championships in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, on March 4. Brafford was among more than 200 craft professionals competing in 15 categories. During the … Continue reading
Robins & Morton Wins National Excellence in Construction Award for Florida Hospital Tampa Emergency Department Relocation
Associated Builders and Contractors (ABC) announced Robins & Morton as a 2015 National Excellence in Construction Pyramid award winner for the work on Florida Hospital Tampa's emergency department at the 26th Annual Excellence in Construction Gala on March 2 in … Continue reading
Robins & Morton and Earl Swensson Associates celebrate The Villages Regional Hospital new tower addition grand opening
Construction manager Robins & Morton and architect Earl Swensson Associates (ESa) were on hand December 3 to celebrate the grand opening of The Villages Regional Hospital's new patient tower addition at a ceremony on the hospital's campus. The addition was … Continue reading
Grove Hill Memorial Hospital breaks ground on new emergency department
GROVE HILL, Ala. (Oct. 26, 2015) – Grove Hill Memorial Hospital celebrated the groundbreaking of a new, 5,522-square-foot emergency department addition on Oct. 25 at 2 p.m. on the hospital's campus. Gary Horton, photographer The addition will house an expanded … Continue reading


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Mitsubishi Archive
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Mitsubishi April 2016 US Sales - CUVs Lead The Charge
CYPRESS, Calif., May 3, 2016 -- Mitsubishi Motors North America, Inc. (MMNA) today reported April 2016 sales of 9,674 up 17.7 percent from April of last year and is the best April sales since 20...Continue Reading
Mitsubishi Motors North America Confirms U.S. Vehicles Not Impacted By Fuel Consumption Testing Data Irregularities
CYPRESS, CA - April 28, 2016: Mitsubishi Motors North America, Inc. (MMNA) today confirmed that vehicles sold in the United States are not impacted by the fuel consumption testing data irregulari...Continue Reading
2016 Mitsubishi Lancer SEL AWC (All Wheel Control) Review By John Heilig
THE AUTO PAGE By John Heilig Senior Editor Mid-Atlantic Bureau The Auto Channel REVIEWED MODEL: 2016 Mitsubishi Lancer SEL AWC (All Wheel Control*) ENGINE: 2.4-liter DOHC I-4 TRANSMISSION: CVT HORS...Continue Reading
Mitsubishi (MMC) MiniCar MPG Cheating- Official Statement
Tokyo, April 20, 2016; In connection with the certification process for the mini-cars manufactured by MMC, we found that with respect to the fuel consumption testing data submitted to the Ministry of ...Continue Reading
Japfest Celebrates Two More Iconic Models
• More cars than ever at Japfest 2016 • Europe's largest display of Mitsubishi Evos • Special stand to mark 25 years of Mazda RX-7 FD HORSHAM, England - April 14, 2016: A move to ...Continue Reading
Mitsubishi March 2016 U.S. Sales Best Since 2007
SEE ALSO: Totally Mitsubishi CYPRESS, Calif., April 1, 2016 -- Mitsubishi Motors North America, Inc. (MMNA) today reported its best March sales since 2007 with sales of 11,078, an increase of 13.5 pe...Continue Reading
First-ever IIHS New Car Headlight Ratings - Most Need Improvement
First-ever IIHS headlight ratings show most need improvement ARLINGTON, Va. — The Toyota Prius v is the only midsize car out of 31 evaluated to earn a good rating in the Insurance Institute for...Continue Reading
New-Car Sales To Jump 8 Percent In March 2016
SEE ALSO: New Car Buyers Guide IRVINE, Calif., March 28, 2016 -- New-vehicle sales are expected to increase 8 percent year-over-year to a total of 1.66 million units in March 2016, resulting in a...Continue Reading
Mitsubishi Motors Debuts Two All-New Production Vehicles At The 2016 New York International Auto Show
NEW YORK, March 24, 2016 -- Mitsubishi Motors North America, Inc. (MMNA) today showed the much-anticipated production model of the all-new 2017 Mitsubishi Outlander Plug-In Hybrid Electric Vehicle (PH...Continue Reading
Japan Automobile Manufacturers Association Announces New Leadership
IN CONTEXT: JAMA Article Archive WASHINGTON—The Japan Automobile Manufacturers Association (JAMA), an industry association which comprises Japan's fourteen manufacturers of passenger cars, truck...Continue Reading
Most And Least Expensive Places In USA To Own a Car
LOS ANGELES, March 21, 2016 -- There's a $7,216 cost difference between owning a car in Michigan and New Hampshire, finds a new study from personal finance website GOBankingRates.com. The study consid...Continue Reading
Consumer Reports Lowest Rated Vehicles For 2016
Consumer Reports' Bottom Picks list reveals the cars, trucks, and SUVs with the lowest Overall Scores SEE ALSO Consumer Reports Point Tutorial Video Special To The Auto Channel From Consumer Reports ...Continue Reading
MHI Completes Delivery of "AIDAprima," a New-Generation Cruise Ship, to AIDA Cruises
- Ship Sets Sail for Hamburg, Germany - TOKYO, Mar, 14 2016; Today Mitsubishi Heavy Industries, Ltd. (MHI) completed delivery of the AIDAprima, the first of two large cruise ships being built for AIDA...Continue Reading
Electric Vehicles - Solution or Diversion?
But First Snide's Remarks If after reading our EV position, that the promotion of Electric Vehicles as a real alternative to gasoline should be compared to Holland's 16th century "Tulip Scams" and yo...Continue Reading
2016 World Car of the Year - Top Three Finalists In Five Categories Revealed in Geneva
By Henny Hemmes Senior European Editor The Auto Channel The winners of the 2016 World Car of the Year, World Luxury Car, World Performance Car, World Green Car and World Car Design of the Year will...Continue Reading
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My friend didn't invite me to church
Category: Etcetera Written by Dr Bailey Stone
As a near 17-year-old, playing football at my high school in Houston, Texas, my best friend and fellow athlete, Henry, was a Christian. He was concerned for me; although he never pushed, he showed deep compassion toward me.
That summer, he told me about a citywide, youth-led revival being held at FBC in downtown Houston. All-American basketball player, Jack Robinson, from Baylor was to speak that evening. Now, had Henry just invited me, I probably never would have darkened the door of that revival, but he said: "I want you to go with me tonight; I will pick you up at 6:15pm." He personally took me, and sat with me. We talked a long time about the Lord after that service. Together, we attended every service through Saturday evening!
On Saturday morning, Henry called to say he wanted to take me to see his dad who was working by himself that morning in his office at the Commerce Building in downtown Houston. Walking in, he said: "Dad, I have brought Bailey to you; he is under conviction, and I know you can lead him to Jesus!" Mr. A.C. SoRelle Sr., an Independent Oil Operator, pushed his papers aside, and lovingly led me to Jesus! The next day, Henry took me to his Sunday School class, and to church; Second Baptist Church in Houston. That morning, as a newborn Christian, I joined, and was baptized a week later.
A short time later, the Lord called me into ministry at Palacious Baptist Encampment. Five years later, I was a junior at Baylor, preaching at Second Baptist Houston in a weekend youth revival when my mom and dad came forward to receive Jesus, dramatically changing their lives!
This is why Dr. Denison's article moved me deeply regarding the declining numbers of adults as well as young people who seldom attend church today. He urged churches to be proactive in loving witness to people with whom we come in contact every day, as well as going out to visit them in their homes. This is biblical, and has not changed! Matthew 28:18-20, Acts 1:8; 2 Corinthians 5:18-21 clearly define our task!
Dr. Denison also emphasized taking people with us to church, not just inviting them to attend! There is nothing wrong with inviting, but from my experience, and Jim's too, bringing a friend to church is far more effective. These are vital keys in lovingly reaching unbelievers in these perilous times.
We can learn from Andrew's response in John 1:41-42, "The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him, "We have found the Messiah" (that is, the Christ). And he brought him to Jesus." Note that when Andrew found Jesus, he then found his brother, Simon Peter and BROUGHT him to Jesus!
Who can you bring to church with you this Sunday?
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Harold Larmon was born April 4, 1921, at Wilsonville, Neb., to Rolland and Lola (Hensley) Larmon. He moved to McCook with his parents in 1923, and graduated from McCook High School in 1938. He attended McCook Community College for one year and then entered the University of Nebraska where he was a member of the Alpha Tau Omega fraternity and graduated from the College of Business Administration in 1942.
Immediately following graduation, he joined the U.S. Marine Crops serving as an artillery officer in the 6th Defense battalion on Midway Island in the Pacific ocean for 25 months. He received an honorable discharge from the reserves as a Major in October 1957.
He then joined the First National Bank, McCook where he was employed for 33 years, retiring in 1986, as President of the bank.
During his years with the bank, he attended and graduated from The School of Banking at the University of Wisconsin; served as President of the McCook Junior and Senior Chambers of Commerce; helped organize the first United Fund Drive in McCook; served on the Airport Authority Board at the time of the construction of the new terminal building; served as a Director of the Hillcrest Nursing Home Board, President of the McCook Rotary Club and Treasurer of the YMCA Board of Directors; was elected to the McCook School Board; served as organist for both the McCook Elks Lodge and the State Elks organization; and served as President of the Nebraska Bankers Association.
He belonged to the local Masonic Lodge, the Tehama Shrine Temple, Hastings, Neb., the Royal Order of Jesters, the American Legion, the Veterans of Foreign Wars, and was a life-long member of the First Congregational Church of McCook.
His contribution to McCook and the surrounding area did not end with retirement. In 1994, Harold, along with his family and other investors, built Willow Ridge Retirement Community in McCook, bringing much needed senior housing and services to McCook.
Harold was a gifted musician having played trombone as a college student in the University of Nebraska Marching band, and most of his adult life in the Shrine Marching Band. But it was his God-given gift of playing the piano by ear that brought so much Joy and happiness to so many people. He gave freely of this talent, playing whenever asked for local and statewide organizations, community functions, area retirement communities and nursing homes.
Preceding his death were his parents, Rolland and Lola Larmon.
Survivors include his wife of 65 years, Marion; one daughter, Courtney and husband, Gary Townsend of McKinney, Texas; and one son, Craig Larmon and wife, Julie of Denton, Neb. Also surviving are three grandchildren and five great-grandchildren.
Funeral services will be 10:30 a.m., Thursday at First Congregational Church in McCook with the Rev. Steve Bales officiating. Interment will be in Memorial Park Cemetery in McCook.
Memorials may be given in his name and friends may call from 9 a.m. - 9 p.m., at Herrmann Funeral Home in McCook.
Herrmann Funeral Home is in charge of arrangements.


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We expose slave masters and people smugglers in suburban Britain.
Is there more to life than money?
17 May 2010 04:08 GMT | Asia
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New York is one of the world's most cosmopolitan cities and it is arguably the most diverse linguistically.
There are as many as 800 languages spoken in the city, making it a thriving centre of ethnic vibrancy, but some of those languages are in danger of being lost.
Al Jazeera's Kristen Saloomey takes a look at how some people are working to prevent that.
CORRECTION: Daniel Kaufman is identified in this video as a New York university professor. He is an instructor at The City University of New York, and not New York University.
Source: Al Jazeera
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Some say they extort money, but franeleros insist they are just trying to make a living in Mexico's informal economy.
Will a plastic bag levy be enough to fix Indonesia's rubbish problem?
For ethnic Hausa, the traditional form of boxing known as dambe is more than a sport - it is part of their identity.
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Middle East, Politics, Iraq, ISIS
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Business & Economy, Science & Technology, Crime
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I do a tremendous amount of research before any purchase, so you can imagine the amount I did before my cataract surgery. I had so many questions for my first cornea... Read more
Dr. Mac and his team were great throughout my whole LASIK experience.
I am very happy with Dr. Christensen! He explained exactly what needed to be done to fix my Jone's Tube situation. He was very thorough in evaluating during surger... Read more
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Dr Patel successfully removed by husband's cataracts. His vision was restored so no glasses are needed.. He just suffered from a detacted retina. Dr Patel answered a... Read more
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What does TCFN stand for?
TCFN stands for The Columbia Free Net
This definition appears somewhat frequently and is found in the following Acronym Finder categories:
- Information technology (IT) and computers
- Organizations, NGOs, schools, universities, etc.
See other definitions of TCFN
Other Resources:
We have 5 other meanings of TCFN in our Acronym Attic
- Abbreviation Database Surfer
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- Textile Clothing Footwear Leather (industry)
- Toyama College of Foreign Languages (Japan)
- Twin Cities Forensics League (Minnesota)
- Tarrant County Family Law Bar Association (Arlington, TX)
- Tactical Control Flight
- Temperature Control Flux Monitor
- Three-Compartment Fugacity Model
- Trans Continental Fairs Management (est. 1982; United Arab Emirates)
- Trichlorofluoromethane (chlorofluorocarbon)
- Twin Cities Friends Meeting (St. Paul, MN)
- Transatlantic Community Foundation Network (est. 1999; Ottawa, Ontario, Canada)
- Tulsa Charity Fight Night (Tulsa, OK)
- Twin Cities Free-Net (Minnesota)
- The Common Fund for Non-Profit Organizations
- Traffic Control Flagger Operations (Indiana Department of Transportation)
- Truck Company Fireground Operations (course)
- Treasury Chief Financial Officer's Council
- Technical Cooperation Funds Programme (European Bank for Reconstruction and Development)
- Texas Commission on Fire Protection
- Texas County Food Pantry (Houston, MO)


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Stardom: Hollywood Answers for iPhone - iPadHome / iPhone - iPad /
Game Questions & Answers (Q&A) service lets you ask questions about video games for game consoles or PC games. So ask your Stardom: Hollywood question for iPhone - iPad and get answers from real gamers or answer questions and share your insights and experience with the rest of the gaming community.
- Developer: Glu Games Inc.
- Publisher: Glu Games Inc.
- Genre: Role-Playing
- Release: Feb 13, 2013
- ESRB: Not Set
Question & Answers
Star Awards Problem
I have been nominated for star awards but haven't won an award since Diego in charge. And I have been getting 4 & 5 stars for all my movies. Is anyone else experiencing this? If not what am I doing wrong?
Answer from: A-list
If I remember correctly, in order to get nominated, you must do more than 8 hour movies (8 hour, 24 hour , 48 hour etc) and get at least 4 or 5 stars for it. Other than these, I'm not sure, but hopefully it help. =)
Answer from: gabet0o
You have to do quests until Arnie calls you and he will tell you about a movie called The Wooden Cuckoo then you will shoot it and then Charlene will call and say that you have been nominated for best actress!
Answer from: pinkwolff
Like a-list said, you have to do 8,12,24 or even 48 hour long movies with 4 or 5 stars to win. ive been experiencing similar problems.won 2 awards then was up for at least 3 more and havent won anything!
Answer from: SoCali
I always get 5 stars and finish early, what i noticed is that once I fumbled the questions but still won and once I got both questions right and lost the nomination, the difference between those was that I'd bought new clothes the times I win and didn't the time I lost. I've bought new dresses two times since for the award shows and won both times. I think I've won maybe 4 times so far and been nominated 5 times total. IMO until it fails, buying new clothes has been making me win. I guess I'll know for sure soon, if anyone else tries it and it works, let me know!
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Google lets retailers publish directly to search results
The test, available to verified Google Plus accounts, adds a social element to search results.
Google lets retailers publish directly to search results
The test, available to verified Google Plus accounts, adds a social element to search results.
Video: Samsung Checkout lets shoppers buy through their TVs
The new payment option from Samsung gives retailers another way to connect with customers.
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New Super-Man Kenan Kong's Secret Origin Arrives In "Batman/Superman" #32
Comic Books
Digital Comics, Comic Books
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Film, Comic Books
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In Your Face Jam
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Exeter, UK
The New Yorker's John Lahr took in a showing of the big-budget, critically panned Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark, and and his review can be found on the magazine's website. But even if you think you've heard enough about the troubled production already, there's a good reason to check this particular review out — the accompany illustration by artist Tomer Hanuka, featuring Spider-Man, Mary Jane and an awesome Green Goblin.
Hanuka details the process of creating it over on his own site. Can we elect him as the official artist for the comic adaptation?
Comic adaptation? No thanks.
This is sweet. I love it.
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Metro Resale Snapshot: November 2012
Month-over-month sales increases and decreases were divided evenly among our 28 markets in October. Most changes were moderate. However, October sales were off from a year earlier in 20 areas, with 15 showing a drop of at least 5 per cent.
New listings fell from their September levels in 23 markets and trailed their October 2011 volumes in 18 markets.
Declines in listings were frequently steep, with 12 areas posting drops of at least 5 per cent on a month-over-month basis and 11 doing so on a year-over-year basis.
Widespread market cooling continues. The sales-to-listings ratio fell in 25 markets between September and October. Still, balanced conditions were present in 22 areas. Thunder Bay and St. Catharines enjoyed sellers' conditions as listings declined sharply in both markets. Buyers' conditions prevailed in Victoria, Vancouver, Gatineau, and Québec.
Despite softening markets, average prices advanced in 16 of our 28 markets during October, and were above their year-earlier levels in 21 areas.
The monthly Metro Resale Snapshot provides an overview of the existing home market for 28 areas and expectations for existing home price growth over the short term.
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May 2016
You can purchase Metro Housing data directly from the e-Data site; or if you need this data on a regular basis, you can purchase a database subscription.
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