text:
The end of the month, that is; not this blog. Due to circumstances entirely within my control, I have failed to meet my deadline. May's entry will be better, I promise.
The Other Mike Church
readable rubbish . . . at a reasonable price . . .
Saturday, April 30, 2016
Sunday, March 13, 2016
Listen To Me
The Other Mike Church is celebrating! I finally managed to get the audiobook of 'dayrealing' recorded, edited, uploaded and approved. This took me the best part of two years, but let's stay out of the weeds and cut to the chase...
If you'd like to download a complimentary copy from Audible, try using one of these codes:
TLETGN7SW5PW8 (Audible.co.uk)
2MNAG6SPPFULL (Audible.co.uk)
K66HAAS67AJEH (Audible.com)
YP945GZGJWGSR (Audible.com)
Here are the instructions for Audible.co.uk:
1. Go to my book's page on Audible.co.uk: http://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B01CDIU7KE
2. Add the audiobook to your basket.
3. If you are prompted to sign in, please create a new Audible.co.uk account, or log in using your Amazon details. Otherwise, proceed by clicking "Do you have a promotional code?" beneath the cover artwork of the audiobook.
4. Enter the promo code, and click "Apply Code".
5. A credit for the audiobook will be added to your account. Click the box next to "1 Credit" and click the "Update" button to change the price to £0.00.
6. Proceed to checkout by clicking "Next Step" and "Buy Now"
7. Download the audiobook or listen online, as you prefer.
Here are the instructions for Audible.com:
1. Go to my book's page on Audible.com: http://www.audible.com/pd/B01CDITDKY
2. Add the audiobook to your basket.
3. If you are prompted to sign in, please create a new Audible.com account, or log in using your Amazon details. Otherwise, proceed by clicking "Do you have a promotional code?" beneath the cover artwork of the audiobook.
4. Enter the promo code, and click "Apply Code".
5. A credit for the audiobook will be added to your account. Click the box next to "1 Credit" and click the "Update" button to change the price to $0.00.
6. Proceed to checkout by clicking "Next Step" and "Complete Purchase"
7. Download the audiobook or listen online, as you prefer.
If you try a code and it isn't accepted, that means somebody used it before you. Sorry! But please drop me a line just in case I can help you.
If you prefer to listen to some samples before downloading the whole sorry affair, please click here:
Happy listening!
When he was feeling uninspired, Colin would take songs into class, together with gapped lyrics for his students to fill in as they listened. They had done Yesterday only yesterday:
Yesterday, ___ __ ________ ______ __ ___ ____
___ __ _____ __ ______ ____'__ ____ __ ____
__ _ _______ __ _________
Miss Tedley had taken to the task with relish:
Yesterday, ten or thirteen people in New York
Had no water or lights must've been no joke
If I grasped it correctly
'I always knew you were a bit hard of hearing, Miss Tedley, but I didn't realise you were that bad.'
'Don't you like my lyrics, dear?'
'It's not a question of liking or not liking, Miss Tedley.'
' "Listen and fill the gaps," you said. Well, that's what I did. Instructions, dear. Your instructions were ambiguous.'
Seeing that Miss Tedley was the sort of person who could quite happily complete The Telegraph Crossword without reading any of the clues, Colin knew better than to pursue this conversation any further.
dayrealing, Chapter 1, "You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet"
Thursday, February 18, 2016
Grow Old With Me
ANGELA jumped out of bed and peeped through the curtains. It was a glorious day, and it had only just begun. From her bedroom window, she enjoyed a fine view of the park across the road. The first joggers were already out there by the lake, doing their stretching exercises. She hoped to be joining them soon. After the latest scare, Doctor Jones had advised her to slow down, but his words had fallen on deaf ears. Besides, she had just ordered one of those smart wristband things as a birthday present to herself, and she was very much looking forward to trying out her new toy. With any luck, it should be arriving this morning.
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
I did a really silly thing the other day. You see, I received an invitation to enter the Writers' & Artists' Yearbook 2016 Short Story Competition on the topic of 'ageing'. I was won over in equal measure by a subject dear to my heart ('ageing'), combined with two correctly used apostrophes in the same mail (Writers' and Artists' Yearbook). Also, I will readily admit that I was curious to see whether I could still produce anything remotely creative after so many years away from the keyboard.
At the same time, I decided to raise the challenge by leaving my comfort zone and attempting to write a serious piece for the first time in my life. Out went the awful puns, the pathetic jokes, the painful dialogues and the stupid punchlines. For once in my life, I would follow
Stevie Wonder's
my wife's advice and write something simple that people could actually understand
on first reading.
More than anything else, however, I admired the sheer nerve of an organisation who brazenly announce in the competition rules that, "The Bloomsbury Publishing Group reserves the right to change the rules of this competition without notice." Can't get more reasonable than that, can you?
If this were a Hollywood movie, I would win first prize (£500, plus a place on an Arvon writing course), my writing career would take off, and I would never look back. Unfortunately, this is just another blog post, for which I won't be winning any prizes, and nor indeed do I deserve to; as I'm sure you'll agree if you manage to get to the end of my humourless story.
Be that as it may, thanks for reading, whoever you are, and never give up on your dreams!
Grow Old With Me
BRADLEY made straight for the living-room and crashed out on the sofa. He was getting too old for all of this, and he wondered how much longer he would be able to make his daily walk down to the newsagent's. In theory, the exercise should have done him good, but his aching limbs told him otherwise. As he lay there recovering his breath, he took stock, not for the first time, of his life's achievements to date. It didn't take long, of course, for there had been very few milestones worth mentioning along the way, except that yearly milestone which came round all too quickly and only served to heighten his depression. Tomorrow was the Big One, and there was no turning the clock back.
One of life's greatest challenges is accepting that you are an insignificant speck in the universal order of things, that the world can get by quite happily without you, and that nothing you do will ever change this sorry state of affairs. Sure, they will pretend to miss you once you are gone, and a few tears will be shed along the way. Sooner or later, however, it will be business as normal, and smiles all round as if nothing much has happened. And, indeed, nothing much has, has it?
Feeling thirsty, Bradley headed for the kitchen to get some water, but he only got as far as the mirror in the hall. Who was that grumpy-looking oldie staring right back at him? Where had that fun-loving youngster gone to? Naturally, he knew the answers to these questions, but they offered little in the way of consolation. He was on the way out, and it promised to be a lonely, miserable ride. He was getting old, and he was terrified of dying.
ANGELA jumped out of bed and peeped through the curtains. It was a glorious day, and it had only just begun. From her bedroom window, she enjoyed a fine view of the park across the road. The first joggers were already out there by the lake, doing their stretching exercises. She hoped to be joining them soon. After the latest scare, Doctor Jones had advised her to slow down, but his words had fallen on deaf ears. Besides, she had just ordered one of those smart wristband things as a birthday present to herself, and she was very much looking forward to trying out her new toy. With any luck, it should be arriving this morning.
First things first, however. Today was a special day too for dear old Bradley, and she was determined to make it a day for him to remember. He had been down in the dumps recently, Heaven alone knows why, though she hoped this was just a temporary phase he was going through. Recently, he hadn't even wanted to accompany her to the newsagent's, which was most out of character for him. He was no longer eating properly, either. It was as if the silly thing had lost the will to live.
As Bradley lay there snoring, lost in his dream world, Angela crept out of the bedroom, tiptoed down the stairs and entered the kitchen to prepare their breakfast. Or Bradley's breakfast, rather. Angela would have hers when she got back from the park. Now where had she put that card? She had bought it with the paper yesterday when Bradley wasn't looking – or was pretending not to look – but she had evidently hidden it too well on arriving home. She opened the kitchen cupboard. Ah yes, there it was! She'd left the card up there on the top shelf, next to the crunchy biscuits that she had been saving for today. They were his favourite.
BRADLEY returned to Earth with a bump. Had somebody called him? He rolled over and noticed that Angela had already got up. Downstairs, getting breakfast before her early-morning run, he supposed. Well, good for her, but he was in no hurry to join her. He was already dropping off again when he heard his name being called out for the second time, and this time there was no mistaking it. Fearing the worst, he scrambled down the stairs and charged into the kitchen. Angela was sat on the floor, looking rather shaken.
'Sorry about all that noise, Bradley. And all this mess. Can you believe I dropped the sugar bowl? Anyway, breakfast is ready. Oh, by the way, happy birthday,' said Angela, handing him his card. 'Shall I open it for you?'
The picture on the front of the card was of a Basset Hound playing with a bone. Bradley was looking somewhat tongue-tied, so Angela continued, 'I'll read it for you, shall I?' Angela opened the card and went on. 'Happy tenth, Bradley! Here's looking forward to our next ten together. Lots of love, Angela.' It wasn't the most original of birthday greetings, but nor did it need to be. 'Fancy a biscuit?' Bradley was in Seventh Heaven.
--- --- ---
ANGELA was still tidying up the mess on the kitchen floor when the doorbell rang. 'Ah, that'll be my parcel,' she said, running to the door with Bradley in hot pursuit.
'Happy birthday!' said the postman, handing over the letter.
'Oh.' Now it was Angela's turn to look tongue-tied.
'Are you all right, love?'
'Yes, I'm fine. It's just I was expecting a different parcel.'
'I'll take this back to the depot if you don't want it.'
' You'll do no such thing, young man,' said Angela. 'Give it here.'
Back in the living-room, Angela opened her letter as Bradley looked on in curiosity.
'I send you my warm congratulations and best wishes for your one hundred and fifth birthday on 10th January, 2016. Elizabeth R.'
Goodness gracious me! Could it really be five years since the last greeting from Her Majesty? Angela glanced across at the framed letter sitting proudly on her mantelpiece.
'I am so pleased to know that you are celebrating your one hundredth birthday on 10th January, 2011. I send my congratulations and best wishes to you on such a special occasion. Elizabeth R.'
'How time flies, Bradley! Now hurry up and finish your breakfast. We're going for a jog, young man.'
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
Until now, Colin had always had a healthy interest in death. He asked himself the usual questions, and came up with the usual answers: Where will I go when I die? Wherever they decide to dump you; What will happen when I die? Some people will pretend to be sad, and then they'll get dinner; Will I be missed? Only if you had a dog. All in all, death was a rather depressing topic; especially your own.
dayrealing, Chapter 33, "Kill The Director"
Friday, January 29, 2016
Slip Slidin' Away
Transcribing the screams of a reluctant birdman hurtling headfirst down a water slide at the speed of darkness is never easy. Colin's went something like this:
The seagull had landed.
If you would like to hear what was left of my voice after that scream, please click here for the unedited version:
If you would like to download the first hour or so of "dayrealing", please click here:
Thanks for reading and/or listening!
Slowly but surely, I am making progress on the audiobook version of "dayrealing - the trials and tribulations of a stressed-out teacher in a spaced-out world... in ten tortuous, torturous hours".
I spent ten tortuous, torturous hours trying to decide whether to put a comma between "tortuous" and "torturous". Pacing is very important, you see, and, by a happy coincidence, the final audiobook will run to exactly ten hours if all my Excel sheet calculations are correct; and if I get my pacing, breathing and screaming right.
Having pointless objectives in life keeps me going. And yet, who cares if the final running time is 9 hours 37 minutes or 10 hours 23 minutes? Well, I do for starters because "in ten tortuous, torturous hours... and twenty-three minutes" sounds pretty crap; to my ears, at least.
I hope to have everything ready and on the market by April at the latest. This depends in part on whether and/or when the Holy Trinity of audiobooks, ACX-Audible-Amazon, approve my submission. I'm quietly confident they will, but it's by no means a certainty.
Here's a rather silly excerpt from Chapter 41, "Don't Fear The Reaper":
I spent ten tortuous, torturous hours trying to decide whether to put a comma between "tortuous" and "torturous". Pacing is very important, you see, and, by a happy coincidence, the final audiobook will run to exactly ten hours if all my Excel sheet calculations are correct; and if I get my pacing, breathing and screaming right.
Having pointless objectives in life keeps me going. And yet, who cares if the final running time is 9 hours 37 minutes or 10 hours 23 minutes? Well, I do for starters because "in ten tortuous, torturous hours... and twenty-three minutes" sounds pretty crap; to my ears, at least.
I hope to have everything ready and on the market by April at the latest. This depends in part on whether and/or when the Holy Trinity of audiobooks, ACX-Audible-Amazon, approve my submission. I'm quietly confident they will, but it's by no means a certainty.
Here's a rather silly excerpt from Chapter 41, "Don't Fear The Reaper":
If you would like to hear what was left of my voice after that scream, please click here for the unedited version:
If you would like to download the first hour or so of "dayrealing", please click here:
If you would like a free copy of the audiobook when it comes out, please click here. Alternatively, contact me via Facebook or the comments below this post if you prefer.
Thanks for reading and/or listening!
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Let's Keep The Curtains Closed Today
I summon up remembrance of things past,
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear time's waste:
Then can I drown an eye, unused to flow,
For precious friends hid in death's dateless night,
And weep afresh love's long since cancelled woe,
And moan the expense of many a vanished sight:
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe tell o'er
The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.
But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restor'd and sorrows end.
(Shakespeare's Sonnet 30)
'Just write down the first thing that comes into your head.'
'Like what?'
'Well, like that, for example.'
'What? "Like what?" '
'Not exactly Shakespeare, is it, Reggie?'
'What do you want to write like Shakespeare for?'
'I don't. I want to write like David Foster Wallace.'
'Well, there you go, then.'
Writing a story wasn't nearly as easy as it was cracked up to be. Mick must have written the equivalent of War and Peace ten times over in his head, but the moment he sat down to put his thoughts to paper, he invariably drew a blank.
'Just write down the first thing that comes into your head,' Reg had told him.
OK, here goes . . .
'Once upon a t—'
Gosh, this was pathetic!
I've started, so I'll finish . . .
'Once upon a time, there was a would-be writer who didn't know where to start. Nor did he know where to finish. All he really knew for certain was that he wanted to write. So write he would.'
So help me God.
No one will read this rubbish!
Rule number one of writing: don't write for no one; write for number one.
fifty shades of Spain, chapter 2, "This Is How It Always Starts"
Sunday, November 29, 2015
These Are The Days Of Our Lives
Oh dear! It's the end of the month again and, as always, I have nothing remotely worth telling you. I've written nothing, sold nothing, done nothing, posted nothing, contributed nothing to society and, in brief, made no progress whatsoever on whatever it is I had been meaning to do when I began writing 'seriously' seven years ago. I haven't even started my Christmas shopping, though that is, of course, quite usual for me. So, anyway, in the absence of anything to report, I thought I might bore you with a few lines on what I get up to during the week. Fascinating, eh? I'll try and keep it brief because, let's face it, how complicated can being an English teacher be? If you only knew...
I'm one of the privileged ones in my company. My first class is at eight o'clock (in the morning) and just a couple of miles down the road from where I live. Fortunately, I have a car. Many of my colleagues are already in class by half past seven (or earlier), often teaching in freezing classrooms in godforsaken locations where nobody in their right mind would dream of setting foot at such an early hour in the morning. I too did more than my fair share of the graveyard shift in the past, the only advantage being that there is no shortage of parking spaces available at a quarter past seven in the morning.
As you can imagine, that first class tends to be the highlight of my day, after which it is all downhill. I'm incredibly lucky with my students – and incredibly unimaginative with my choice of adverbs – because, on the one hand, they always pretend to be enjoying themselves; and, on the other hand, they rarely remember anything that I 'teach' them, which means I can regurgitate the same exercises week after week, year after year. 'Don't you ever study your notes?' I'll chide them, knowing full well what their answer will be. Anyway, everybody seems quite happy with this state of affairs in the tacit knowledge that the real point of these early morning classes is to warm up for the day ahead.
After my first class, I'll grab a quick coffee and get to the office for about 9.30. Some kind soul will usually have already turned on my computer for me, so I really have no excuse for avoiding those dreaded emails any longer. Officially, you see, I am also director of studies, which suggests that, when I'm not teaching, I should be "directing studies". And so the emails pour in about teachers who didn't show up for work today (they overslept); teachers who are threatening not to show up for work tomorrow (they want more money); teachers who can't understand why they haven't got a contract (we forgot to do one); teachers who don't know what they have to do (we forgot to send them the programme); teachers who don't know where to go (we didn't tell them); teachers who urgently need books (we forgot to order them).
Then there are the mails from customers or HR directors who urgently need a 20-page report by midday because 'the auditors are coming this afternoon' (a likely story); customers who want to know why you billed them for classes they never received (it was worth a try); customers who want a training plan for Pepe who needs to be fluent in Italian by Christmas (because we never say No to a challenge); customers who have thirty people to be tested immediately and who want to start classes next week (or tomorrow if possible). And so on, and so forth. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. After all, I am paid to
cause solve problems like these, and, as I say, I am one of the
privileged ones: I have an interesting job, a fair salary, good holidays, delightful students, supportive colleagues...
and countless headaches. Thank goodness for Ibuprofen, I say.
At some stage during the day, I will be off to give further classes, sometimes in the local university, at other times in the farmhouse where we give immersion courses. The latter is always a welcome opportunity to enjoy the beautiful Basque scenery whilst listening to Meat Loaf's warning that objects in the rear-view mirror may appear closer than they are.
Back at the ranch, and time permitting, I'll try and create a worksheet for future classes. This is the nearest I ever get to being creative at work and, basically, keeps me sane. Here's an extract from my latest creation, "Doctors, Operations, etc.":
Choose the best word to complete the sentence...
- I went to the doctor's to have my ears _____.
removed / syringed / vacuumed / waxed
- They advised me to have the mole on my back _____.
fed / removed / shaved / waxed
- I'm thinking about getting my ears _____.
drilled / holed / pierced / screwed
- The dentist said I needed three _____.
fillings / pastings / stuffings / toppings
- They said I should have my chest _____.
X-factored / X-plotted / x-rayed / X-waxed
- Doctor Scalpel is in the operating _____.
room / stage / studio / theatre
- ...
And it goes on in similar vein for another 44 questions. I look forward to using this worksheet in all my classes over the next week or so. After all, what subject could possibly be more important than one's health and well-being?
All being well, I'll call it a day sometime between half past six and seven o'clock – at a quarter to seven, for example – and head home via the supermarket, fishmonger's or wherever I have been instructed to go before reporting home for dinner duty. But that's another story, so I'll save it for a rainy day.
Thanks as ever for reading.
–¿Puedo ver su tarjeta sanitaria?
–Soy británico, no la necesito.
–Can I see your health card?
–I'm British, I don't need one.
–Bien, bájese los pantalones, por favor.
–¿Para qué? Mis piernas están estupendamente.
–Haga lo que le digo, ¿quiere?
–OK, drop your trousers, please.
–What for? There's nothing wrong with my legs.
–Just do as you're told, will you?
–¿Cuándo fue al baño por última vez?
–¿Y a usted, qué le importa?
–When's the last time you went to the bathroom?
–Mind your own business!
No le puedo ayudar si se niega a colaborar.
I can't help you if you refuse to cooperate.
–¿Cuánto tiempo me queda, Doc?
–Querrá decir, ¿Cuánto dinero me queda, no?
–How much time have I got left, Doc?
–You mean, How much money have I got left, don't you?
–Tómese estas pastillas.
–¿Para qué son?
–No pone.
–¿Qué clase de médico es usted?
–Take these tablets.
–What are they for?
–It doesn't say.
–And you call yourself a doctor!
El problema con vosotros los británicos es que no tenéis sentido de humor alguno.
The problem with you Brits is you have no sense of humour whatsoever.
Spanglish for Impatient People, Lesson 10, "At the doctor's"
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Mr. Blue Sky
|Deserted Fields, Somewhere near Shrewsbury, August 2004
'What's the weather going to be like today?'
With these words, my wife greets me every morning, followed by, 'Where's my coffee?' and 'Pass that towel, will you?'
'Rain,' I'll reply. Or, 'Dry but cold'. Or, 'Hurricane on its way,' if I feel like living dangerously. Of course, so long as there genuinely is a hurricane on its way, I have nothing to fear; but God help me if the day turns out to be a scorcher and I've sent my poor wife to work disguised as a windshield. Naturally, the Internet is to blame, and in particular, AEMET, the Spanish Meteorological Agency, who never get it right; at least, as far as my town is concerned.
|Deserted Streets, Aretxabaleta, December 2014
For reasons known only to themselves, the happy-go-lucky people at AEMET always forecast sunny spells for Aretxabaleta at some stage during the day, even if anybody with one eye and half a brain can see that there's no way those black thunderclouds will be going anywhere for the next 24 hours. That said, the more fool I for throwing caution to the winds and telling my wife she can wear her favourite sandals to work, to leave her brolly at home, and to have a nice day, darling. After all, the Internet never lies, does it?
Even worse, however, is that for a short period in my life – twenty years or so – I actually took these blasted weather bulletins seriously, only to pay the price for my naivety. On more than one occasion, I found myself freezing to death at my desk, wearing just a T-shirt, summer slacks and sandals, simply because those b******s at AEMET assured me that it was going to be a belter of a day. 'Aren't you cold?' my friends would ask, at least giving me a welcome opportunity to explain that we Brits are made of sterner stuff than my sensitive Basque colleagues. Conversely, on those days when I went to work armed with scarf, gloves and duffel coat, the sun would come beating through my window as I melted in my chair.
I am truly blessed to have friends, colleagues and students who are always forthcoming with advice: 'Serves you right for using AEMET!'... 'Personally, I use El Tiempo'... 'Haven't you tried Meteoblue?'... 'Why don't you use Euskalmet?'... 'What's wrong with the sodding newspaper?'...
It's so easy to be wise after the event, isn't it? Nevertheless, I suspected that maybe it was about time I checked out the competition, so last Saturday I did just that: I devoted my entire day exclusively to studying the local weather – in between getting breakfast, doing the shopping, getting lunch, washing up, cleaning the car, chauffeuring loved ones, taking out the rubbish, etc. – and comparing how accurate or random the so-called weather experts' forecasts for my town actually were. And here's what I discovered...
|AEMET, weather forecast, 24/10/2015
I started my investigations at the very top. The Agencia Estatal de Meteorología – 'AEMET' for short; 'crap' for shorter – had it coming to them. I was not remotely surprised to see that they forecast sunny spells towards the end of the afternoon. The morning, on the other hand, would be a miserable grey affair, with not a ray of sunshine in sight:
Time will tell, I thought to myself, and turned to my next victim...
El Tiempo
|El Tiempo, weather forecast, 24/10/2015
I know it's hard to be impressed by a website that simply calls itself "The Weather", but I am a fervent believer of equal opportunities for all – unless I've got it in for them – and, besides, this site came recommended to me by Nekane, one of the nicest and, more importantly, most sensible people I have ever met. Well, according to El Tiempo, it was going to be cloudy and grey all day, and that was that:
At this stage, my money was firmly on the merchants of doom at El Tiempo. I sincerely hoped the sun would stay hidden all day just to prove my point about AEMET's never getting it right.
And so on to our third contender...
|Meteoblue, weather forecast, 24/10/2015
Several people had recommended this site to me, so I thought I should give it a whirl. I'm glad I did because its forecast was exactly the opposite to what AEMET was promising. In other words, we were in for a beautiful sunny morning, followed by a depressingly grey afternoon:
My research was going better than I could ever have imagined: three sites and three completely different forecasts! In a moment of madness, I switched my loyalties immediately to Meteoblue for the rest of my life. I had a hunch that I had already found my winner.
Alas, The show must go on, I told myself, as I moved reluctantly on to Contestant Number 4...
|Euskalmet, weather forecast, 24/10/2015
Euskalmet, the Basque Meteorological Office, is everything that AEMET, its Spanish counterpart, is not: serious, professional... and totally incomprehensible to the average surfer. Jabier, my dear university lecturer friend, has sworn by this site all his life. Unfortunately, you need a degree in rocket science, like the one Jabier has, to find your way around. For starters, you have to realise that your town is in a "Cantabrian valley" if you are looking for Aretxabaleta. I got there eventually by a painful process of elimination – Are we a coastal town? No. Are we in the mountains? Well, sort of...
Once you have reached your destination, however, and read what's in store for the day, you are still none the wiser. 'You can expect some early morning mists... mid-to-high cloud cover... getting very cloudy by night-time (when you no longer care about the sodding clouds)... some light rainfall in the late afternoon, evening and/or night... gentle southerly winds turning to north-westerly as the day progresses...' Are you still reading? I can't say I blame you.
And imagine the reaction I would get if, on being asked what the weather was going to be like today, I replied, 'Well, darling, we can expect a little morning mist up in the mountains, but don't worry, there'll be a nice warm southerly wind. On the cloud front, it appears they'll be up and down all day, but mainly up. We might even get a spot or two of rain, but don't quote me on that, or indeed anything'. That coffee mug would come flying back in my face well before I'd got to the end of my summary. For all its faults, at least AEMET is willing to stick its neck out and declare, 'It's going to be a bloody miserable morning in Aretxabaleta', regardless of the actual accuracy of its forecast.
And imagine the reaction I would get if, on being asked what the weather was going to be like today, I replied, 'Well, darling, we can expect a little morning mist up in the mountains, but don't worry, there'll be a nice warm southerly wind. On the cloud front, it appears they'll be up and down all day, but mainly up. We might even get a spot or two of rain, but don't quote me on that, or indeed anything'. That coffee mug would come flying back in my face well before I'd got to the end of my summary. For all its faults, at least AEMET is willing to stick its neck out and declare, 'It's going to be a bloody miserable morning in Aretxabaleta', regardless of the actual accuracy of its forecast.
Fortunately, the eggheads at Euskalmet are thoughtful enough to include a simple diagram for birdbrains such as yours truly. In brief, according to Euskalmet, temperatures would drop, we would have clouds and sunshine (though we didn't know in which order), and winds would be travelling in an anti-clockwise direction:
Thirty minutes later, and even more confused than when I had entered their site, I decided it was time to pull the plug on Euskalmet, and move on to my final candidate...
El Diario Vasco
|El Diario Vasco, weather forecast, 24/10/2015
Let's be fair. In this age of instant Internet updates, it's a pretty impossible task for any printed publication to compete with their Net-friendly competitors when it comes to providing a reliable weather forecast for the day ahead. Indeed, I suspect that my Basque daily only offers a weather map because this is what its reactionary readership – average age 83, and rising – has come to expect since it was first launched back in 1934. Publishing a Basque newspaper without including a weather map would be akin to making a Spanish omelette without adding potatoes, to going to your grave without reading Angela's Ashes, to starting a pointless metaphor without feeling remotely guilty. But I digress.
Being a rather small town, Aretxabaleta doesn't even appear on El Diario Vasco's map, so I added it myself – just below Arrasate. You'll see that the DV weathermen decided very sensibly to keep their options open by forecasting a bit of everything:
I couldn't really argue with such a pragmatic approach and, besides, I no longer cared. The church bells chimed seven as I grabbed my mobile and shot my first snap of the day. Let battle commence!...
|Aretxabaleta, 24/10/2015, 07:00
At seven o'clock, it was still pitch dark outside, and, for the moment at least, all five contenders were still in the race. I thought about going back to bed, but Britain didn't become Great with that attitude, did it? So, I spent the next couple of hours watching the football highlights on YouTube.
|Aretxabaleta, 24/10/2015, 09:00
By nine o'clock, things were still pretty gloomy outside. And they were even gloomier inside when I remembered that this was exactly what AEMET had forecast for the morning. Mind you, these were early days yet, weren't they?
|Aretxabaleta, 24/10/2015, 11:00
Hallelujah! By eleven o'clock, the Basques of Aretxabaleta were basking in glorious sunshine; well, those who had made it out of bed, let's say. Sure, there were still a few clouds around, but right now Meteoblue was trouncing the competition. This was, quite possibly, the happiest moment of my
life weekend.
|Aretxabaleta, 24/10/2015, 13:00
By one o'clock, the grey skies were already back with us; rather sooner than Meteoblue had predicted, if truth be told. In the case of Meteoblue, however, I was more than happy to give them the benefit of the doubt.
|Aretxabaleta, 24/10/2015, 15:00
At three o'clock, there was absolutely no change. It was a depressingly grey day, but I didn't care too much because this was exactly the result I had been hoping for.
|Aretxabaleta, 24/10/2015, 17:00
Oh no! What was this? Did I detect the sun pushing its way back through the clouds? I sensed an invisible force of evil at work as AEMET fought their way back into the race.
|Aretxabaleta, 24/10/2015, 19:00
Luckily, the threat of late-afternoon sunshine turned out to be a false alarm, leaving us to enjoy a glorious grey evening. Mopping my brow in relief, I triumphantly declared Meteoblue the winner of this year's "Weather Forecast on Demand, Best of a Bad Bunch" contest.
'Meteoblue provides the best documented weather forecast on the web... Meteoblue users check our forecasts daily – and they like them, because of their reliability... For the general public, we offer a free high-resolution weather forecast that is second to none...'
Thanks for reading!
Having blatantly rigged the results to suit my purposes, I visited Meteoblue's website, and was delighted to discover that this is a Swiss company, whose forecasts are, by their own admission, much more accurate than anyone else's:
'Meteoblue provides the best documented weather forecast on the web... Meteoblue users check our forecasts daily – and they like them, because of their reliability... For the general public, we offer a free high-resolution weather forecast that is second to none...'
Need I say more? Probably not, but I will: Doesn't it strike you as odd that the distant Swiss can give an Englishman a far better forecast for his Basque town than our Spanish neighbours ever will?
'Lovely day, isn't it?' said Colin. He wasn't going to win any prizes for this conversation. He wasn't going to win any prizes, full-stop. For all Colin knew, there could be a blizzard outside. He never listened to the weather forecast; it was just too damned depressing. Still, the great thing about being English was your listener never knew whether you were being ironic or not, so Nicola could interpret his "Lovely day, isn't it?" whichever way she pleased.
dayrealing, chapter 8, "Have You Ever Seen The Rain?"
Well, so much for the logical alternatives. What about the illogical ones? This called for some blue-sky thinking. Colin looked up, but he needn't have bothered for there was nothing to look up to; or at. Nothing, that is, but a universal sheet of … well, of "nothingness", for want of a better word. How odd. It was as if he had stumbled into some kind of parallel looniverse, rather like those children in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. It made sense; from a nonsensical point of view, at least.
dayrealing, chapter 41, "Don't Fear The Reaper"
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Government research funding 'to be exempt' from anti-lobbying restrictions
Published: Apr 21, 2016 10:20:47 AM
Risk of schizophrenia and other psychoses three times higher in refugees
Published: Mar 16, 2016 9:58:07 AM
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Monday 29 July 2013
Behaviour change and complex interventions: design and evaluation
Christopher Ingold XLG2 Auditorium, Christopher Ingold Building, University College London, 20 Gordon Street, London, WC1H 0AJ
Building photograph Location Map
Registration /tea and coffee
Welcome by Susan Michie, Professor of Health Psychology, UCL
10am-1pm - break at 11.30am for 10 mins
Behaviourial Interventions: an introductions to the Multiphase Optimization Strategy (MOST) for engineering better behavioural interventions, led by Linda Collins, Pennsylvania State University.
Behavioral interventions, for example, interventions aimed at helping people to quit using tobacco or other drugs, increase their physical activity, lose weight, or overcome depression, play an important role in public health. In this half-day workshop Linda Collins will describe an alternative framework for building and evaluating behavioral interventions.
Further details
2pm-5pm - break at 3.15pm for 10 mins
Missing data: analysis and design, led by John W. Graham, Pennsylvania State University.
John Graham will present a sketch of missing data theory, including descriptions of normal-model multiple imputation (MI) and maximum likelihood methods. He will discuss attrition and nonignorable missingness, emphasizing the need for longitudinal diagnostics and for reducing the uncertainty about the missing data mechanism under attrition.
Further details
Members of UCL's Behaviour Change community respond to the two workshops:
Robert West, Professor of Health Psychology and Director of Tobacco Studies, Health Behaviour Research Centre, UCL
Henry Potts, Senior Lecturer, Centre for Health Informatics & Multiprofessional Education (CHIME), UCL
Chair: Professor Susan Michie
Concluding questions and answers
6pm -7pm
Drinks reception, Roberts Foyer, Roberts Building, UCL, Malet Street, off Torrington Place
Register for the workshop
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|By RealWire News Distribution
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|January 10, 2013 05:44 AM EST
Leader in Enterprise Version Management Encourages Taking Steps to Improve Development Practices in 2013
WOKINGHAM, UK (January 10, 2013) - Perforce Software today released six resolutions for software companies to consider when managing their development environments. The resolutions encourage companies to maintain well organized codebases and development processes to foster their growth.
"The new year is an ideal time for every organization to take an inventory of what is working well and find ways to improve—and there's no better place to start than at the very foundation of the code," said Randy DeFauw, technical marketing manager at Perforce. "In my experience with our customers, employing these software practices not only results in fewer issues down the road, but a more manageable codebase."
Perforce's six recommendations for 2013:
Deliver like Facebook: Facebook leads its industry because it delivers improvements to its site daily. Replicating this strategy is recommended, and easier to do now that the software tool stack can match that velocity. Even if companies are not building a Software-as-a-Service (SaaS) offering, product can still rapidly evolve internally without being formally released to customers. Harnessing the ability to deliver enhancements quickly will buy companies a considerable competitive advantage in their respective sectors. Added bonus: nothing keeps developers happier than seeing their code show up as live improvements in the product.
Take Agile cross-functional: Agile isn't just for developers anymore, and companies should not limit its use to their software teams. DevOps was all about bridging the gap between development and operations, and companies will find greater success if their entire team is responding as quickly to new requirements as the development team. Consider introducing agile project management to non-techies such as Sales, Marketing and Human Resources teams.
Get everyone on the mother ship quickly: A software company's two most valuable assets are its employees and its intellectual property. Do not operate them in silos. Instead, reuse IP wherever possible and make sure teams can work with each other. If talent is being acquired by purchasing a startup, ensure their past work can be incorporated into the existing system in a week, not a year. Let them keep using the tools they are accustomed to, even if it means running something more enterprise-ready in the background.
Look before leaping into the cloud: The low costs, infinite scalability and minimal administration requirements make the cloud seem appealing to any company. The reality, however, is that performance, ownership and reliability issues need to be considered before deploying to the cloud. If employees are asking for a cloud-based solution, figure out why. Do they want Dropbox because there is no decent place to store their design documents and test plans? That can be fixed without cloud services.
Be realistic: Engineers are practical people. Lay out clear goals with a reasonable time frame. If current delivery cycles are a year, they cannot be shortened to a week overnight. However, reducing the timeframe from a year to three months is indicative of significant progress and achieves buy-in for the next step.
Pay attention to European patent laws: In order to prevent potential intellectual property lawsuits, it is critical to study and fully understand the nuances of the various European laws. Have a plan in place for adjusting software processes (from initial design through market introduction) to meet the differing legal frameworks. Companies using open source software should take particular care to ensure they are in compliance with all the licensing and copyright provisions.
For more than a decade, Perforce has powered the world's most demanding development environments, enabling thousands of organizations to manage and grow their codebase successfully. In addition to source code, Perforce enterprise version management products help teams work in concert on various digital assets including documents, multimedia, spreadsheets, images and more.
Free for Up to 20 Users, Open Source Projects and Educational Institutions
Perforce makes it easy for small companies and start-ups to benefit from enterprise-class software version management. The complete Perforce product family—including the new Git Fusion solution for Git repositories—is available at no cost for up to 20 users or workspaces. Perforce also is available at no cost for open source projects and educational institutions.
About Perforce Software
Perforce Software enables teams to version everything. Perforce enterprise version management products help teams work in concert on important digital assets including software code, documents, multimedia, spreadsheets, images and more. They are unique in their ability to handle large and distributed collections of content, enabling higher productivity, lower costs and improved security and compliance. Perforce is now making it easy for everyone to take advantage of enterprise version management. The company is headquartered in Alameda, California, with international operations in the United Kingdom, Canada and Australia. For more information, visit http://www.perforce.com/.
# # #
Media Contact
Maxine Ambrose
Ambrose Communications
Phone: +44 (0) 1491 412944
Email: [email protected]
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Chilly, windswept cricket ovals are what New Zealand expected in early June for the Champions Trophy. What they didn't vouch for were dusty spin bowlers' paradises, more akin to Kolkata than Cardiff.
So as anxious glances are cast to the skies tonight, with rain forecast, the pitch at Cardiff Wales Stadium will elicit the most furrowed brows because either New Zealand or England face an early exit from the tournament.
It is on the line for both sides. New Zealand hit the ground running at Lord's and Southampton, stuttered in Nottingham, then staggered home for victory against Sri Lanka. The Australian washout saved them from a tricky run chase and they enter today's match still atop group A but wobbling slightly. However, a washout will be enough for them to qualify.
England were on the top of the world and trying not to show too much glee at David Warner's hi-jinks and Australia's predicament. They were hot favourites against Sri Lanka to seal their semifinal spot, and posted a daunting 293-7 at The Oval. It wasn't enough and now a loss to New Zealand, or potentially even a washout, could see them punted from their own tournament.
Normally both sets of fast bowlers would be licking their lips at a bit of swing and seam, with a new Kookaburra ball from each end. Instead there's been neither. Spin is in, as a lack of rain and apparent unwillingness from groundsmen to use their hoses sees batsmen dealing with turn and variable bounce from the tweakers.
"The wickets haven't been as good for batting as you would have thought at this time of year. The ball hasn't swung and it's stopped in the wicket and been a bit two paced," New Zealand coach Mike Hesson said.
"In June in England you'd think they'd be quicker and more seamer friendly. The strength of this competition is you've got to adjust and all three venues are very different. Ultimately the best two sides will make the final."
If New Zealand can topple England, they get their rewards. Being top qualifier earns them a semifinal at The Oval on Wednesday, the best pitch of the three venues. Finish second and they return to Cardiff on Thursday, where they enjoy being based but still have nightmares about the surface on which they faced Sri Lanka, when they conjured a one-wicket victory as both sides made a 150 total look like cricket's Everest.
So New Zealand have joined in the fun and gone spin-heavy. No New Zealand team had bowled 30 overs of spin in a one-day international before Birmingham on Wednesday. But Daniel Vettori moved far more freely and will be hugely influential against a team who will play him with respect and look to attack at the other end.
That's where Mitchell McClenaghan comes in, New Zealand's wicket-taking machine, who has 26 from his first nine ODIs, including four bags of four and Alastair Cook for a duck the last time they met. Bowling in short spells he's captain Brendon McCullum's strike weapon if the spinners can apply the brakes. Senior paceman Kyle Mills has been a handy foil and with one wicket can become the Champions Trophy's highest wicket-taker. Tim Southee, meanwhile, is under a cloud with an ongoing ankle problem.
England's dangermen have been the power hitters, with Jos Buttler playing a whirlwind, match-winning knock at Trent Bridge, then Ravi Bopara doing the damage against Sri Lanka. New Zealand leaked runs at the death in Nottingham, where their plans were right but the execution awry.
"We had a good review of that game and we'll have another recap before this one," Hesson said.
New Zealand's batsmen will have to counter Graeme Swann's spin, and possibly some reverse swing, which England's pacemen achieved in Birmingham and Sri Lanka did in Cardiff. Questions still remain about the batting order when Martin Guptill misses out, and we'll never know if they would have chased down Australia's 244 on Wednesday despite Ross Taylor and Kane Williamson looking comfortable.
Opener Luke Ronchi got the backing of captain and coach and will have more licence to thrill, but choose his shots more judiciously. England paceman James Anderson will zero in, having removed Ronchi twice.
And Brendon McCullum, who with brother Nathan, have been the stars in the field for New Zealand, needs to step up with the bat. It's been a lean tour for the skipper with the willow, even if he's attacked confidently in the field.
McCullum is the one batsman England fear and a blazing knock is overdue as New Zealand's tournament wavers between comfortably qualifying for the semifinals, or a week off until their two tour-ending Twenty20 matches.
- Sunday Star Times
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Severe turbulence injures 32 on Etihad flight to Indonesia
Should bouncers be banned from cricket?


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Apparatus for the production of polyurethane material with a cleaning member having a filler feeding channel and an inclined front surface
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A process and an apparatus for the production of a polyurethane mixture is described. The apparatus comprises a high-pressure mixing device provided with a mixing chamber opening onto a side of a discharge duct.An elongated cleaning member is reciprocable inside the duct and is provided with a longitudinal channel for feeding a fluidized reinforcing material, for example reinforcing fibers or a reinforcing material in powder or granulate form, to be blended with the polyurethane mixture flowing into the discharge duct. The feeding channel for the reinforcing material terminates at the front end of the cleaning member, at a point where the flow of reinforcing material impinges the polyurethane mixture which emerges from the mixing chamber under high turbulence conditions. Blowing nozzles are provided to generate air jets for repeatedly deviating the flow of blended polyurethane mixture and reinforcing material flowing out from the discharge duct.
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IF HELPING to manage the London 2012 budgeting process wasn't enough, Deloitte is also involved in a range of professional services, from procurement to marketing.
Rachael Singh speaks to LOCOG FD and Deloitte secondee Neil Wood (pictured); London 2012 sponsorship director Annabel Pritchard; games readiness partner Rick Cudworth; and procurement secondee and senior consultant Ruaidhri Dunn, about their role in putting the Games together.
Click here to view the PDF article.
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In my youth, my family home had the most beautiful blossom tree that dominated our front garden. Everyone admired it because it was extraordinary.
OPINION: Our drive was a sea of pink in autumn.
When it was in season, it flourished over into a neighbouring garden. Not the roots or anything, just the branches. One day I came home from school and half the tree was gone. Apparently the neighbours didn't appreciate the blossom falling on to their driveway. Just like that. The tree never really recovered. It never looked so beautiful again.
The issue that bothered my parents most was that the neighbours didn't ask. They just cut. No communication, just chopped. Gone. Perhaps we could have come to an arrangement about keeping the blossom drop raked up. Something.
The neighbours argued the branches that they cut were on their property, so technically they only cut from their side of the tree. And they were perfectly, legally, allowed to do so.
According to the Property Law Act 2007, there is a ''self-help'' remedy. This allows the neighbours to cut the branches down that stretch in their garden. If this occurs, the branches must be returned to you because, after all, it is your tree.
That's great, isn't it? Thanks so much for these hacked branches that have now made my tree go from glorious to average. No, please, you keep them! Honestly, I don't mind.
The question of ''my tree - your tree'' then grows to all trees, whether blossom or fruit. If your tree sprawls its lengthy branches and delicious fruit or blossom over to the neighbour's garden then, technically, is it the neighbour's fruit or yours?
Older people have a notorious reputation for being protective of the fruit on their trees. One older woman reported a postman for stealing an orange, all of which had fallen off the tree and rolled on to the ground.
Surely the woman and her family couldn't possibly consume the amount of fruit that the tree would produce in the season. Would she even eat the fruit once it had fallen on the floor?
Maybe, if the postman had communicated his wishes with the woman, maybe even offered to pick the higher fruit for her, she would have come out with a bag and a ladder to help him out.
Ultimately the real dilemma is not that people steal your fruit or cut down some of your blossom tree, rather that people don't have the courtesy to ask. Yes, we're allowed to take and to chop. But the world would be nicer if we talked about it all first.
Got a suggestion for the Modern Manners team? Email features editor Deborah Sloan on firstname.lastname@example.com or write her c/- aifThe Waikato Timesaif, Private Bag 3086, Waikato Mail Centre, Hamilton 3240.
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Is it ever OK to complain about other people's kids?Related story: (See story)


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Comments about 'Russian parliament passes Russia-U.S. adoption law'
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From the article: "The issue came to a head in April 2010 when an American
adoptive mother sent her 7-year-old boy back to Russia on a one-way ticket,
saying he had behavioral problems."
Many children adopted from Russian have been cursed by their biological mothers with fetal alcohol syndrome -- exposure to alcohol while in the womb. It causes poor growth, decreased muscle tone and poor coordination, delayed development in speech, thinking, movement and social skills, and heart defects. Almost none of these children have normal brain development. If you are adopting from Russian you need to expect your child to have these difficulties.
- 8:27 a.m. July 11, 2012
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I find it interesting that Russia has problems with how adoption of their children is handled, but they won't take sufficient steps to ensure that all of their children can be adopted or otherwise dealt with in their own country.
- 2:57 p.m. July 11, 2012
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Chocolate Fantasies
725-A Woodlake Road
Sheboygan, WI 53044
Plan on spending a long time here---you'll have a hard time making up your mind! This gourmet shop has a great selection of goodies including gourmet chocolates, homemade fudge, truffles, and old fashioned candies.
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at 18:30, 04-29-2016.
Sheboygan Area Attractions
Mead Public Library
Wreck of the Lottie Cooper
John Michael Kohler Arts Center
Jaycee Quarry Park
Road America, Inc.
Elkhart Lake Depot Museum
Veterans Memorial
Sheboygan County Museum
Heritage School
Historical Research Center


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Two New Reflections Songs
band is boring
indeed they are
Album title alone makes me not want to listen to this
bad. no soul, weak songwriting, just fuck.
Hella talented guitarists but the vocals/lyrics kill it for me
more like the production (and 000000). how this band cannot get a good producer is beyond me
• Michael Gira Accused of Rape• R.I.P. Lemmy• R.I.P. David Bowie• Scott Weiland dead at 48 • Rush drummer retires• Killswitch Engage debut new single• The Story So Far's vocalist dropk..• Deftones stream new single• Riverside guitarist dies• Phil Anselmo causes uproar over N..
• New Mudvay... Hellyeah song• Second New Radiohead Song• Astronautalis stream new album• Adamn Killa & Yung Lean music vid..• More new Beartooth music• New Red Hot Chili Peppers song• Perturbator streams new album• The Grindmother Stream Debut• Gorguts stream Pleiades' Dust• Wolverine drop lyric video• New Radiohead Song• Man Overboard announce hiatus• Jean Michel Jarre/Edward Snowden ..• New Alaskalana Single/Album• Transit break-up» see all news
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Iraq's electricity capacity reaches 10,000 MW
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The Ministry of Electricity announced that the production capacity for energy or electricity has reached around 10,000 MW, which is pointed as the highest production after the foundation of National Electricity System.
Musab al-Mudaris, the official spokesperson for the ministry of electricity of Iraq, stated that electricity system achieved 2,500 MW compared to last year during the same season and 6,500 MW more than the electricity capacity during summer 2003.
His statement also illustrated, "Baghdad is being provided with electricity power about 15 to 16 hours daily while Kirkuk and Maysan are being equipped by electricity power all day long and meanwhile Basra, Dhi-Qar and Nineveh receives electricity power 16 hours daily and the rest of provinces are being equipped with electricity power rate of 16-20 hours daily.''
19 June
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South Korean President Park Geun-hye held landmark summit talks with her Iranian counterpart Hassan Rouhani and reached provisional deals in construction and ...
Barwa Real Estate Company has stated that it would invest over $4.12bn (QAR15bn) in numerous new projects.
The company's plans include ...
A drive to encourage entrepreneurship in Qatar is gaining pace, as efforts to streamline the start-up process yield results.
Developing small and ...
Steps taken by national oil giant Saudi Aramco to consolidate some of its downstream assets, most notably in the US market, appear to be laying the groundwork for ...


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Cold Hard Cash Question of the Day
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$5 Thousand Dollars Reward for Info Directly Leading to 1rst Degree WA Murder Suspects; Reed Brothers.
The U S Marshals Service is turning up the heat for tips leading directly to the arrest Washington brothers charged with first degree murder in the apparent brutal homicides of a Snohomish County couple, neighbors to John Reed...
Chief For A Day Kicks Off 2016 Apple Blossom Festival
Hundreds of people attended Wenatchee's "Chief For A Day" ceremony Thursday afternoon.� The annual kickstart to the Apple Blossom Festival recognizes local chronically ill children...
Cashmere Bond Measure Brings Infrastructure & Classroom Upgrades
A $12.4 million bond passed by voters in Cashmere will finance upgrades to the city�s high school as well as new classrooms at its elementary school...
Eastmont School District Starts Revealing Levy Detail for November Ballot
Eastmont School District is readying plans to take two levies to November voters. A maintenance and operations levy collects a little more than 8 million dollars per year, with a 3 percent escalation factor built in, and a capitol levy collecting more than 22 million dollars over a period of...The post Eastmont School District Starts Revealing Levy Detail for November Ballot appeared first on KPQ.
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text: Surgery By Drew Weisholtz September 9, 2013 12:19 PM Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Category: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter More Send to a friend! Print this page Pin it! Reddit This! Share on Tumblr! Best Of Lite 98.7 3 Shops Near Utica For the Perfect Mother's Day Flowers NY State Fair Food to be Featured on 'Food Network' Steps2Cure Benefit to Help Camden Boy With Genetic Disorder Utica's Lilly Langtry's Is Gone…But Target Plays On. Recommended For You ZergNet Best Of The Web ZergNet


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With the change over to the PrairieCat Consortium there has been an update to the check out procedure for movies and series.
To find out what that is click here. For any questions, email us at email@example.com or call us at (309) 755-3393.
On Monday, May 16th, we will be switching to the PrairieCat system. For those of you who would like,
or already receive text message notifications through Rivershare, you will need to opt in to the new system.
To learn how to opt into the text message notifications click here or visit us at the Front Desk.
Patrons, as you have heard, the Rivershare consortium will be ending its partnership with Illinois libraries very soon. We will be once again joining the PrairieCat System. We would like to offer those of you interested in keeping a reading history a chance to get them before they get erased from the Rivershare OPAC. We will be offering this service, until Wednesday, May 18th. For those of you interested, we will need you to visit us in person at the Front Desk and allow us to access your account on the OPAC, this will require knowing your PIN. Once you have granted us permission, we will be printing out the reading history to you free of charge!
May 10 2016 6:00 pm
Tuesday, May 10th at 6 pm
Join in on good conversation and read one of the latest in popular YA novels.
This month's book:
To read the book, click here!
Now until Saturday, May 7th
You may bring in any unused or like new puzzles
(NO missing pieces PLEASE) and come in on May 7th
to pick your choice of up to 10 different "new to you"
puzzles for your enjoyment!
May 7 2016 1:00 pm
Saturday, May 7th at 1 pm
Kids, bring your parents in to decorate bird houses for your back yard!
Such a wonderful gift to give your Mom's to cherish for years to come!
May 4 2016 5:30 pm
Wednesday, May 4th at 5:30 pm
Come and enjoy a screening of Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
For the young we will also have crafts available before and after the movie.
May 14 2016 1:30 pm
Art Journaling Introduction
Saturday, May 14th at 1:30 pm
Twila Robinson will teach you how to express your creative side in
your journaling through art using mixed media. For ages 13 & up.
May 14 2016 11:00 am
May 14 2016 12:30 pm
Saturday, May 14th at 11 am
Dress up like a princess or as your favorite princess and enjoy snacks and tea with crafts to go along with the event!
May 16 2016 6:30 pm
Last Monday Book Club
Monday, May 16th at 6:30 pm
The Last Monday Book Club meets the last Monday of every month from September- May.
Join in on as many books as you'd like.
Snacks and beverages served to go with the theme of the book!
Members of the club are encouraged bring a snack or beverage to share.


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There are currently 5 Travel Helpers for Georgia. Please remember that these Travel Helpers provide information on a volunteer basis and when they take the time to help you that a thank you is highly appreciated! They are listed below in order of their last activity on Travellerspoint.
Haven't spend that much time in Georgia, but I visited most nice places, like Gori, Tblisi, Batumi and the Kaukasus. As there are not so many travel helpers for Georgia, I will help as much as I can.
i am living in Georgia all my life and i can help to everyone.I have all information about traveling in Georgia: interesting places, good and cheap hotels, travel agencies, short and long tours,Eco tours, bike tours,rafting,horse riding,mountain climbing, jeep tours...you can ask me any question about traveling in GEORGIA.
I'm Georgian living all my life here and will be glad to share my knowledge to the travelers who aims their trip here
I can help everyone with finding best travel deals, tips as well as hotels, restaurants, car rental, airport transfer and other travel related services in Georgia, Caucasus....
I visited Georgia in August 2013 and made a trip all over the country attending many distinguised places, cities and sights. I got aquained with Georgian culture, behaviour, way of life and good interesting people. I can share my experience with you, givesome advice, recomendations and even assist you in creating your own trip. I have good contacts there and can help to to get professional excursions, good accommodation and transportation.
No Georgia questions; but all the answers on Georgia travel?
Here are some other Travellerspoint pages to help you plan your trip to Georgia!


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Was my first time using their service so I was skeptical, but my skepticism was quickly resolve when I got my email response with my code to enter and it worked.
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Art Print by James Knowles | #294173
Seeing these cactus growing in there natural environment still fascinates me. In Mexico both the fleshy green stems, and the red flowers tunas are eaten. The contrast of the two colours, and the way the light plays on the stems
makes it an irresistible subject for me.
Expertly printed in our Sussex studios, this print is produced to exacting museum conservation standards using inks and papers developed to create a perfect reproduction.
Copy the code below and paste it into the HTML on your blog or website. With this image, you agree to our terms and are bound by them.
Nopal by James Knowles
Nopal by James Knowles
Nopal by James Knowles


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DIRTY SLUTS AND STUDS Is a XXX site featuring todays hottest Porn Stars in 100% original hardcore action! Watch these Dirty Sluts And Studs suck and fuck in thousands of pics and multiple formats, Flash, Windows Media Video & MP4's for your mobile devices. - JOIN NOW
ART MAJOR WOOD Starring: ALEXIS GOLDEN, JOEY BRASS 487 Pics 30 Min of Video.
Art student Joey Brass invites Katie Kox over to his studio to model for his latest masterpiece. Joey soon realizes that in order to properly paint his subject he must truly understand Katie's body. And for Joey to properly understand Katie's body he must feel every inch of it. Katie being the little slut that she is completely agrees and fucks joey like a whore until she drains his nuts.
POSITION OF THE DAY Starring: , ALEXIS GOLDEN 497 Pics 30 Min of Video.
When Maria Bellucci got her first american job her boss was more than happy to show her the ropes. Jeff Phucksum didn't waste any time in taking advantage of this dirty slut. God bless America.
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Joey has a new job of interviewing the public for a sexual survey. Lucky for him Kiera King was feeling extra horny that day and invited Joey to take the survey one step further...
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Poor Domenic Kane has a serious sexual problem... He can''t look at hot chicks without imagining them with no clothes on. Domenic decides to go get some professional help from well known sexual therapist Katie Kox. As soon as she gets him on her couch she gets right to the issue and proceeds to administer her own special treatment.
DIRTY MARTINI WITH A TWIST Starring: DOMENIC KANE, HEATHER VAHN 499 Pics 29 Min of Video.
When Heather Vahn walked into the Red Room Saloon she had her eye on a little more than just a Dirty Martini. This slutty bar fly was all about the new bartender apprentice, Domenic Kane. Domenic's boss warned him not to blow it when he stepped out and left Domenic in charge. Little did he know it would be Heather blowing Domenic within minuets of him leaving.
PARANORMAL FUCTIVITY Starring: ALEXIS GOLDEN, HUNTER BRYCE 372 Pics 36 Min of Video.
Big Boobs Hunter Bryce has to call a paranormal investigator after experiencing some strange happenings in her new apartment. But upon closer investigation the expert reveals the true source of the anomaly. It's actually Hunter's pussy thats causing all the problems and the only solution is to fuck her out of it. Watch Hunter's pussy gush as her paranormal demons are exorcized.


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Franceska has curves in all the right places. She has amazing big tits and an outstanding ass. After modeling her sexy catwoman outfit, Franceska grabbed Voodoo by his schlong and made it disappear in her mouth. Voodoo took the action indoors and fucked Franceska until he was ready for her to swallow his cum.
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Sascha Huettenhain
Sascha Huettenhain was born in 1973 in the German town of Siegen. He has been living and working there ever since.
Sascha Huettenhain
Adidas Originals |"Hide and Seek" Stan Smith 80s TF
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BMW | Breathtaking Kinetic Sculpture
Legendary automaker BMW teamed up with design studio ART+COM to expand our understanding of "sculpture". Watch the incredible video here!
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Laurent Garnier Live @ Salle Pleyel, Paris (Video)
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Reading magazines on the iPad
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The Big iPhone App Giveaway
Are you ready to complete your collection of cool iPhone & iPod Touch apps with fresh gems from members of the Appboy developer community? Check out the apps below, pick out the ones you like and enter the giveaway!!!
Strand Console
The delicate stranded form of the Strand Console is in stark contrast to its construction of laser cut steel. The table works equally well on its own or with the glass top, and is available in eight modern powder coat finishes to accentuate its unique texture.
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The Rock Confirms 3D Movie Role, A Look at New Moves In WWE 2K14, Rusev and Lana
by Amish Patel - October 16, 2013
– In the video below, Senior Game Designer Bryan Williams and Interactive Marketing Manager Aubrey Sitterson walk us through some of the hundreds of moves that have been added to WWE 2K14:
– The Rock confirmed on Twitter that he will be starring in San Andreas, a movie about a major earthquake that hits California. Filming is scheduled to begin in early 2014. Rock tweeted:
"Excited to make the first ever epic 3D disaster movie! A privilege to play the role. #FirstResponder #SanAndreas"
– WWE NXT star Alexander Rusev and his new valet Lana will be meeting fans before Thursday's NXT live event in Tampa.
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The Hottest WWE news, photos and videos delivered to your inbox in one convenient newsletter. Sign up now and give it a try!
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|TNA Star Re-Signs With The Promotion
|WWE Files New Trademark, Slammy Awards Category Removed From The WWE Network, Enzo Amore


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Podcasts The Dog and Pony Show
Seensters: Flee the Seen reps KC hardcore to the headbanger nation
Browse the archive Subscribe via iTunes
Wednesday, Jan. 11, 2006
Flee the Seen is frightening, and we're not just talking about screaming banshee frontwoman Kim Anderson. The band's prog-hardcore tightrope act is also frighteningly good - one of the tightest in the business, presumably the reason this fledging Kansas City band recently signed to Southern California's Facedown Records (also home to Nodes of Ranvier, No Innocent Victim, Inked in Blood). Anderson and guitarist/vocalist R.L. Brooks stopped by to preview the band's upcoming album "Doubt Becomes the New Addiction" and show at the Granada.
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- Blog: 'Whites only' no more: KU unveils marker to commemorate Strong Hall sit-in of 1965 May 4, 2016 · 3 comments


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Jul 1, 2014; Salvador, BRAZIL; United States defender Geoff Cameron (20) reacts without his shirt following the game against Belgium during the round of sixteen match in the 2014 World Cup at Arena Fonte Nova. Belgium defeated USA 2-1 in overtime. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports ORG XMIT: USATSI-185690 ORIG FILE ID: 20140630_mjr_su5_062.JPG
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