text:
August 3, 2010
/part 1: butternut squash/
orange shoe strings line a beige crusty coat
melted by 350 F into a mouth, a vegetable mouth opening to kiss your stomach, digestive tract, body cells and
toilet bowl on the way out
free return to earth
to being carbon
/part 2: onions, garlic, and ginger/
simmered simply in water
no salt or oil, just pure vegetable nano-molecules
ten thousand trillion vegetable nano-molecules
pro-brothy goodness
/part 3: fresh spinach/
added in the last minute!
the first minute? the first one, when the soup is done and ready to taste
oh the very first moment, the one after putting the spoon to my lips
and the very first one after that, swallowing
and the very first one 5 first ones after that
when my stomach sends love letters to my brain
asking for more, a version of that one
that one mixed molecular spoonful my colon salivates for in anticipation
/part 3: secret topping/
round seed core cupped in succulent green flesh, dressed in a firmly dimpled exoskeleton
on this night before the feast
feeling a little jet lagged from the long trip north
and sad, missing
her extended family somewhere in mexico
she sits inside the dark fridge, talking to the milk cold and beautiful
a little nervous
wishing to be a good secret topping
/adapted from a Vanessa Sherwood recipe on gliving.com <http://gliving.com>/
crust: 1/2 cup brazil nuts [or mix of walnuts + brazil]
1/2 cup shredded coconut
pinch salt
1 heaping T cocoa powder
1-2 T cacao nibs
1/4 of vanilla bean [seeds only] Process the brazil nuts, shredded coconut, salt, cocoa powder and vanilla bean seeds in a food processor until fine crumbs. Add the agave and cacao nibs until the mixture just starts to stick together. Press into the bottom of a springform pan. If you are making a large cheesecake, feel free to double or even triple the recipe (crust and filling).
filling: 2 cups cashews, soaked 1+ hours [or mix of macadamia + cashews]
1/2 cup agave nectar
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup cacao butter, melted on low temp in double broiler
1/4 cup coconut butter, melted with cacao butter
2 tsp vanilla extract or seeds from 1 vanilla bean
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup cocoa powder
1.5 cups frozen cherries, thawed
Blend everything together except for the cocoa powder and cherries until completely smooth. At this point, if your blender can take it, blend in the cocoa powder. Otherwise scrape the mixture into a mixign bowl and whisk the coca powder in by hand. Hand mix in the cherries. Pour filling over the crust and chill or freeze until ready to serve.
almonds [about 2 cups]
1/2 cup coconut butter
1 cup dates
1/4 cup agave nectar
1/3 cup cacoa butter + 1 T coconut butter [melted together] + 2 T agave nectar
/this is an approximation, i didn't have a recipe. let me know how it turns out!/
Grind the almonds [dry] into fine crumbs. Add in the agave nectar. Pour into a bowl and set aside. Separately, process the dates and 1/2 cup coconut butter roughly. Add to the almonds and mix together. Hands work best. Press this dough into a cake pan or square dish and set in freezer. On low temp in a double broiler, warm the cacao butter and coconut butter until liquefied, add in 2 T agave nectar. Pour this soup over the freezer-cooled cake. Return it to the fridge to cool until set [the topping will turn white].
In conditioned existence your body is a jungle – a jungle of habits. In the middle of this jungle is a physician/teacher. But the teacher is not separate from the jungle. The jungle or the obstacles are actually the teacher/physician. Inside your own habits, when you turn them into fuel for your practice, lies the healer that is waiting… Recognizing our obstacles becomes the path.
(Mata-mor by Rodrigo Bueno)
How We Love Each Other (Day 19)
July 22, 2010
Kindness is the New Black Dress
The inhale never happens the same way twice. How can we continue to follow the breath, to follow the pulse of what it means to be alive? If the ground is groundless because our experience is always shifting, how can we walk on it?
I hope that everything that needed to arise in your hearts has come in a peaceful way. Sometimes it's nice not to have too much shifting, some of you have experienced large shifts, others smaller shifts. But whatever your experience, practice softens us, it teaches us not to be too hard to others or to ourselves. Kindness is the new cool, the new black dress.
Freedom means trusting yourself to know what nourishes you.
To come down to the end of the exhale means knowing what it's like to have something spread and lift at the same time. To be lifted up by something, at the same time that you're expanding through your roots. The mula bhanda is the base, the ground. When you go deep into your exhale you hit a ground, and that ground has no base. This baseless ground is the basis of love and interconnection. Because it has nothing in it, it's everything.
Ikkyu: "Only one koan really matters, you."
Trudy Goodman, a senior vipassana teacher in Los Angeles, was once assigned the task of driving a famous Zen teacher from the airport to the retreat centre. She decided to ask him the question: "What is the final koan? (Koans are practiced in sequence) He was silent. Then he said, "I can't tell you the last koan, but I can tell you the answer. The answer is love."
Is practice a skill, or a set of skills? Perhaps that's not a useful way of thinking about practice, because having a skill implies a direction and destination. Practice is a way, a road, but there's no telling in advance, no way of mapping out, where the path will lead us. How are we going to serve in the future? One of the things we need to know is what nourishes us. For me, it's the poetry of Philip Whalen. If I don't read Philip Whalen each week, I get carried away into the conveyor belt of this culture.
Our practices should look different, just as our lives should look different. The practice is nestled into our lives, and makes us live in different ways. What kind of community would this be if we started looking like each other? The path belongs to you, in an entirely singular way, and encourages you to celebrate your singularity, but at the same time it isn't yours. The path is not yours. "Practice is none of your business." Who said that? Many Buddha ancestors have walked this same path. Even though Rumi never walked down Ontario Street, it the same path. But at the same time, we don't want our lives to look like Rumi's life, we want it to look like Sam, Ronit, Jennifer…
When I look around the faces of this room, there's no one else I would rather have accompanying me on this road. This feeling is samadhi, when experience becomes connective tissue. Everything is tissue.
This Is How We Love Each Other
Line 20 of Patanjali's Yoga Sutra reads:
sraddha (faith) virya (energy/strength) smrti (memory) samadhirpajna (integration) purvaka (something preceded by)
Continuity of practice. This is how we love each other. We fail again and again because we can't love each other unconditionally. We slip, we fall back and forget. But because of our practice, we're not hard on ourselves. We fail, and our failures are ok. They can also be embraced with space and curiosity.
When difficult feelings surface perhaps you can begin to trust that your practice can take care of what is arising, of what is happening in your life. This faith (sraddha) gives you enthusiasm for this practice, though too much enthusiasm is not the best quality either. You know how you go to parties sometimes and there's someone demonstrating yoga poses? You don't need to become that person. Or there's the person who comes to the sit for the first time, and the next week they arrive with their family in tow.
Thich Nhat Hanh's Plum Village is a retreat destination each year for a particular couple, though the woman is not keen to go. The husband says to Thich Nhat Hanh, "My wife doesn't like being here." He replies, "I can tell." The husband continues, "She just wants to be on a beach for her vacation." Thich Nhat Hanh replies, "I think you should go to the beach."
When there's energy and enthusiasm (virya) in your practice you can practice smrti (memory) – to remember what's important. And together energy, enthusiasm and memory give rise to samadhi: the connective tissue of integration. These five movements are circular. All of this you can watch through your breathing, and through your relations with others.
Our Tears
Every breath you take is your path, and every step. While walking each step leaves home, it lifts from the ground, from a sense of being grounded, and then it arrives home again. The breath is also like this. You have to leave home, in order to find home. Home can't be separated from this moment, from who you are.
In India, one of the holiest gestures is to take water from the Ganges, in an act that recognizes this separation, then pours the water back again. Crying is like this. Your tears fall from your individual griefs, but it comes from the grief we all have, of living in these frail, impermanent bodies. Of watching our friends die. Our friends are the Ganges and in their death we draw them up out of the river, and let them mark us, before we put them back into the river again. Your tears flow down every drain, into the St. Lawrence River, back into the ocean and the mouth of a whale. They belong to everyone.
(Dharma drawing by Allen Ginsberg, 1998.)
Fanning the Wind (Day Sixteen)
July 19, 2010
Dogen: Picking Up the Fan
TKV Desikichar told his partner Menaka that he longed to go away and study, and immerse himself in practice. She replied, "If you can't do your practice here in the world, what good is your yoga?"
We've translated this text by Dogen as the koan of your whole life. It's about actualizing your life and practicing to find out what's important. Dogen was someone who lost both his parents by the age of eight, so there was urgency in his practice. At the close of each day we chant, "Life and death are of supreme importance, time passes swiftly and opportunity is lost." The reason life and death are of supreme importance is because time passes swiftly.
Apart from his own painful familial conditions, Dogen had two primary motivations. The first took shape as a question. If everyone is already enlightened, why practice? Secondly, he recognized that practice is often focused on one's own private realizations. But he felt it was important to express these realizations. He expressed his realizations by focusing on language, taking images which had become cliché (like the moon as enlightenment) and making them breathe again. One can't just have experiences of awakening and insight while on retreat, these need to be brought into the practice of how we bank, or grow food, or speak with our friends and family. We can only do this through attentiveness.
You can't know how you're going to serve in a year or three years. You don't know what your life is going to look like. How can you practice now, so that when you're asked to meet needs which are arising, you can meet them? So that practice isn't just a shell? It's also important to turn to others in order to learn and witness and ask after their practices. How is it being manifested in their world?
On retreat when people have special experiences (Oh yes, I am a very mystical person) the first question is: how are you going to let it go? And then: What are you going to do with it?
Dogen invites us to recognize, value and love our own idiosyncrasies. Celebrate the fact that we're each an oddity. Look at Erin's hair. Each strand of her hair is moving in a different direction. We can love her because we recognize her singularity. To learn to see singularity against larger patterns of interconnection, contingency and impermanence – this leads inevitably to compassion.
How can I extend compassion to others and to ourselves? You can't really look after others if you're not looking after yourself. If you took better care of yourself, you can take better care of others.
Dogen: "A fish swims in the ocean, and no matter how far it swims there is no end to the water. A bird flies in the sky, and no matter how far it flies there is no end to the air."
No matter how deep we practice there's no end to it. You practice because you are enlightened, and to remember the enlightenment. And no matter how deep you go, there's always more, like a fish swimming in the ocean.
If people were told that they could get enlightened by two years of steady sitting practice the zendos would be full. Instead we are told that we have to do this for the rest of our lives. As soon as this is said out loud, half the audience leaves.
Nurture the Skin Bag
We are made up of water and nurtured by water. How we are nurtured by water is how we are nurturing ourselves. By nurturing water, by looking after water, we nurture ourselves. Nurturing oneself means taking care of everything that nurtures the skin bag, and by taking care of these, you take care of yourself.
Marching against the G20 might feel like a small and futile action, how much will really change in the rooms where international decisions are made? But after some hours you can't help noticing that you feel invigorated and alive. Every action we take really matters, even if the local paper doesn't report it the way we experienced it. Every action we take really matters, especially when we do it together.
Consider how unrestrained the movement of a finch or a hummingbird is. When the police helicopters fly overhead, if you blur your eyes you can turn them into hummingbirds.
"A bird flies in the sky, and no matter how far it flies there is no end to the air. However, the fish and the bird have never left their elements."
Do you ever leave your element? Do you know what nurtures you? Do you know what your field is? Or perhaps you know what you need, but you don't pay attention to this knowing. We leave things out of relationships, our mind, our movement vocabulary. We split off parts of ourselves, and these fragments will use the same amount of energy to force their way back into awareness.
We don't want to lose track of what nourishes us. That's why we make pilgrimages inside our bodies (to the pelvic floor, for instance), and in our relationships.
"When their activity is large their field is large. When their need is small their field is small."
Michael spent six months living in Algonquin park in a van. Once there a local driver took a liking to him and brought him groceries. There was no schedule, he would show up every couple of days. Or so. Michael would stay up all night because it was so cold, and his practice was to listen to the lakes thaw. His field was so small. There's no landscape he knows better, there were two or three seasons of pine cones that would never have been noticed had he been driving past. There's a pause at the end of the exhale that sweeps up off the pelvic floor, and in that pause is an entire universe. You look at one thing so closely until you can find a universe in it. When your field is small – that's what you work with. When your field is large – that's what you work with.
Drawing Snakes
"Thus, each of them totally covers its full range, and each of them totally experiences its realm."
Fish don't want to become birds, and birds don't want to become fish. When I was in Mexico, staying near the water, I watched whales diving one afternoon. The energy it takes for whales to dive is immense, and as they drop down into the water there's something almost like a smile on their faces. What is a bird? Flying. What is a fish? Swimming. What's Ronit? Ronit-ing. What's Grant? Grant-ing.
Making an art out of your life is the most important thing. This doesn't mean making paintings. And it also doesn't mean you get to do what you want. Everyone here at the intensive has a job. Someone has to ring the bell, someone else has to light the incense. Just because you're free doesn't mean you can do whatever you want. Being in community reminds us of this. Robert Aitken: "Everything just as it is, as is. Flowers in bloom, nothing to add." You want to pour your life into your practice so that the practice gets everything wet. It cools when it needs to, adds heat when needed, nourishes when needed.
You become more helpful when you practice. And in order to become more helpful, you need to rely on yourself. And to know what nourishes you.
What is a sentient being? Being in your life. Nothing obstructs your life more than imagining that realization is outside of you. For instance, imagining that transcendence is outside of your life. Commentary on the heart sutra: "What a shame it is when you are drawing a snake, to add a leg." What is your life? You can only answer if you know what nourishes you. Krishna says to Arjuna: "Do your dharma." (What's your dharma?) We should say that to everyone in law school or in med school. Don't perform your parent's unlived life. Very often people start practicing and quit their jobs, because they want to move towards what will nourish them. John Cage said, "The other thing that newspapers have headlines about is unemployment, because it's going up very high. Instead of being seen as the nature of the future, unemployment is seen as some horror. None of the jobs that anyone is offered are of any interest. No one wants a job. What everyone needs in order to do his best work is, as you know very well now, self-employment. Here we are almost halfway towards self-employment, and all we do is complain about the fact that we have this big unemployment problem. It's stupid. It's as stupid as believing in God."
We have to live in our field and in our domain. Being a fish means leading a risky life. How often do we take the easy way in order to please an idea or image we have internalized, about body image, or career?
Duck Legs Are Short
When you find the place where you are, practice begins. A monk asked Basho, "What is your practice?" Basho replied, "Whatever is needed." Practice is right here, not in another country, in a better place, at a better time, and we keep missing it, and we keep missing it, and we keep missing it. Until everything becomes our practice. But wait, cancer is not my life, anger is not my life, the pain in my back is not my practice, the sadness I feel is not my practice… When Michael worked as a therapist he saw a man who was bedridden with back pain for three years. This man was so angry that he had lost three years of his life. But this too might have become his practice. Whatever is actually happening. I don't think a fish loses years wanting to be somewhere else.
At the end of his life Philip Whalen wrote: "Cherry trees will blossom every year, but I'll disappear for good, one of these days." Who knows when you're going to disappear?
Michael: Sometimes in this practice I want to push you to see interconnectedness with your whole body, and sometimes I want to hug you and say relax, stop trying to find interconnectedness with your whole body. There's a cottage saying that hangs on a shingle. "Duck legs are short, crane legs are long." Some of you have squat legs, some of you have long legs. In yoga the saying goes, "Your elbow can only bend one way." Your life is your life, you can't have someone else's.
The Wind and the Fan
Dogen: "Zen master Baoche of Mt. Mayu was fanning himself. A monk approached and said, "Master, the nature of wind is permanent and there is no place it does not reach. When, then, do you fan yourself?"
"Although you understand that the nature of the wind is permanent," Baoche replied, "you do not understand the meaning of its reaching everywhere."
"What is the meaning of its reaching everywhere?" asked the monk again. The master just kept fanning himself. The monk bowed deeply."
It's not enough to know that wind reaches everything, you have to take out the fan and do it yourself. Enkyo Roshi, "Some may realize it, some may not." We're awake: some know, some don't. It can be very subtle. This is Dogen's answer to the question he set out. This is it. Do you see it? When can you feel the wind? When you're fanning. When can you really see your life? When you practice. The dharma is always here, but if you don't practice, you don't feel it. Love is always here, but if you don't practice you don't feel it. When do you show up? And when do you forget to use your fan?
Maybe it doesn't matter what kind of fan you use. The important thing is how you can have a fan that you can pick up. How can your fan help you at 6 am in the dead of winter?
Dogen doesn't care about what you're thinking, he is not writing philosophy, he wants you to respond. How often do we stand outside of experience and say, "I realize this," or "I understand this." Dogen says that's not realizing your life. If you explain what you mean you might as well say that you can have wind with a fan. The point is to see how our first response is to package experience, instead of embodying it. How to become a question mark?
If you answer the question that lies at the heart of your life you risk losing the quality that makes you so alive.
(Oil painting of electric fan by Christopher Stott.)
A Poem (Day Fifteen)
July 17, 2010
The Lanyard by Billy Collins
The other day I was ricocheting slowly
off the blue walls of this room,
moving as if underwater from typewriter to piano,
from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,
when I found myself in the L section of the dictionary
where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.
No cookie nibbled by a French novelist
could send one into the past more suddenly—
a past where I sat at a workbench at a camp
by a deep Adirondack lake
learning how to braid long thin plastic strips
into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.
I had never seen anyone use a lanyard
or wear one, if that's what you did with them,
but that did not keep me from crossing
strand over strand again and again
until I had made a boxy
red and white lanyard for my mother.
She gave me life and milk from her breasts,
and I gave her a lanyard.
She nursed me in many a sick room,
lifted spoons of medicine to my lips,
laid cold face-cloths on my forehead,
and then led me out into the airy light
and taught me to walk and swim,
and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard.
Here are thousands of meals, she said,
and here is clothing and a good education.
And here is your lanyard, I replied,
which I made with a little help from a counselor.
Here is a breathing body and a beating heart,
strong legs, bones and teeth,
and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered,
and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp.
And here, I wish to say to her now,
is a smaller gift—not the worn truth
that you can never repay your mother,
but the rueful admission that when she took
the two-tone lanyard from my hand,
I was as sure as a boy could be
that this useless, worthless thing I wove
out of boredom would be enough to make us even.
Sitting at Attention (Day Fifteen)
July 17, 2010
From our final session with the Clinicians' Group at Emmanuel Howard Church.
Perfect Moment
Michael: I was staying at a farm in Wisconsin, big country, the morning after rainfall. Early sunrise. I was sitting while the water was slowly dripping from the very top of the window onto the ledge. I was watching the water drop, but owing to the double glazed glass there was no sound. I had a cold, or was it allergies, and had a lot of mucous in my nose, and when I was deep into the sit the mucous unplugged, and dropped, and landed on the top of my lip in perfect sync with a water drop on the window. That drop was the drop of the world, and it carried the sound that is in every other sound, which is like the sound of a vacuum.
Mystical experience is nothing other than the present moment, and when we narrate it, we do so using the language of our culture, we strain it through the conventions of our language. Finally, it doesn't mean anything. It's a feeling of deep connectedness and it doesn't matter because five minutes later you're the same neurotic person again. These experiences demonstrate that the part of us that wants to make them matter is the part of us that wants to run the show all the time. These moments are important not because they're peak experiences, but because they shed light on the way we usually live our lives. Most of the time we move our day in a top down fashion, led by the nose of the ego, up in the clouds of our heads. So many of our responses are habitual and repetitive. In our practice we want to create space so that when something arises it's mysterious and unknown, that experience can arise from a mysterious place. And then you have to go back to cooking dinner, and changing diapers and doing the laundry with that same awareness.
There is no teacher and student in this koan, instead it narrates a moment when two people meet on the road. I think we might hold our next meeting on an island, perhaps Centre Island. We could take over the island, become the operators of the rides. And when we passed each other we would have conversations like this one.
"One day a lay man is walking on a road and sees a man looking after a herd. He asks, "Where does the road go?" "I don't even know the road," he replies. (After a few years of meditating practice, you don't notice you're meditating. It's only if you might stop practicing that you begin to notice. When you're in the practice, inside the flow, you don't notice that it's happening.) "You cattle watcher, how can you not know the road?" The man responds, "You cow. What's the time right now?" The layman responds, "Time for planting rice."
One can hear in the closing line of this koan an echo of another koan where a student asks, "When are we going to begin our practice period?" And the teacher replies, "Have you washed your bowl after breakfast?" Sometimes we're looking for something outside this experience and we miss what's right here.
Have you ever looked into the eyes of a cow? If you did, you probably wouldn't countenance their slaughter. This look changes your alignment. Cow's eyes are so still and large. You can see your own reflection in them, you look at yourself through the eyes of a cow.
Pain: Two darts
The Buddha's teaching on pain offered this analogy. He said that when a person was in pain it's like they've been shot with two darts. When the first dart arrives there is an experience of pain. Then a second dart arrives, but not shot from the same bow. Pain is spring loaded with the second dart of aversion. The first dart is inevitable because we live in bodies that are aging, an accidental collision can create conditions for a lifetime of pain that is out of our control. And as we move towards death we are going to experience still more pain.
What is practice if not to work with these inevitable states of pain? But practice can't stop the first dart, nothing can. With our practice we work with the second dart, the one we add ourselves. The first way we usually try to get rid of pain is to gratify the senses. Eat the pain away, or shop it away or entertain it away. The word "entertain" means "to hold between" – to not be anywhere. Originally it had a very negative connotation, it's a way of disassociating. But it re-entered our language years later attached to performance and a new value that privileged not being anywhere. The oblivion of modernity.
In Buddhist thought there are six sense organs, the sixth sense is the mind. How does the mind state seek gratification? By using theory and interpretation to make sense of what's going on in order to avoid being close to the pain, the first dart of pain. This mind state adds the second dart. Often when we are called to be present to another person's pain we try to make sense of it, and this making sense is a way of distancing ourselves from it.
Taking Over the Defense
Michael: Once I was asked to baby sit a girl of eight. She lived with her mother in a large warehouse building, and the fire escape was beside the windows of her room. She had a very hard time getting to sleep. She was scared that someone would come up the fire escape, and stayed up in bed watching the stairs. So I told her that I would sit on the bed and watch the fire escape. I sat on the bed, and saw her checking on me, to make sure I was watching. Five minutes later she was asleep.
When someone is defensive you can take it over for them so they don't have to hold it. It's a non-violent way of meeting resistance. I had a patient who was speaking with his brother, and as he spoke his posture changed into a slump, his view drifted out the window, he wasn't in the room with me at all, he was spaced out. It's a character strategy, a defensive alignment that once served a purpose but it's grown out dated, the way blackberries will be outdated soon. I told him: "Whenever we're talking about your brother, you cross your arms and before long we're not talking about anything. If you're in this position it ends our communication. Could you show me how to do it? Could you teach me? Do you fold your right arm over your left arm? How do you look out the window exactly? Now let's start with your brother again, while I set up the posture. And please, can you tell me when to look away?" What becomes clear is that they can't tell the story unless they're in the posture. Now they can talk because I'm doing the defense. Assuming the posture is a way of showing that the defense is outdated. And it's possible to do this with absurdity and humour rather than analyzing it or counter transference (which is a way for the therapist not to pay attention).
Sometimes interpretation isn't a way of escaping primary experience, but a vigilant method of granting shape to what the experience is. Perhaps trauma is a way of holding onto the scaffolding. In Thailand, after the tsunami, kids affected by the storms would run to the beach to see if it was still there. Trauma introduces a third dart. Often it becomes easier to enter into a relationship with addiction, which is not even close to the second dart, let alone the first dart. For instance, if the kids in Thailand were not allowed to go to the beach, they might develop a neuroses around beaches. Layers of distances build around an original embodied experience. These layers could be named perceptual proliferation. One train leads to another.
If we don't deal with the second dart of aversion we can develop what Freud named "Reaction function." For example, if the first dark was grief over the loss of a friend, the second dart could be over eating, and the third dart could be bulimia. Bulimia is a kind of story about the story.
Missed Opportunities by Daniel Sterm
Moving along can result in failed or missed opportunities for change with negative therapeutic consequences.
Moments of meeting follow now moments. It very often occurs that the therapist simply misses that a now moment is being experienced by the patient. Or the therapist realize that a now moment has been entered, but it makes him too anxious and he runs away to hide behind technical moves. Or therapists enter and stay in the now moment but cannot find an authentic, spontaneous response that is fitted to the immediate situation. In most of these failed situations, the consequences are not disastrous. A similar now moment will probably reappear. There are usually several chances. However, sometimes a therapy can be seriously wounded or even brought to termination by these failures. For example:
An adolescent boy was in a psychodynamic therapy. As a child he had suffered a severe burn on much of his chest and abdomen that left an impressive discolored scar. Much therapeutic time had been spent talking about it, in particular the extend to which the scar disgusted or put off girls. It was summertime and social life was on the beach. One day in session, without planning to do so, he said, "After all this talking, you should see what it looks like." And he immediately began to pull his shirt up. (A now moment.) The therapist very rapidly said, "No," with much emphasis and hurry. "You don't need to show it to me – only to tell me how it is for you." The body stopped in his tracks and expressed his nonunderstanding of why the therapist of why the therapist did not want to see the scar. They argued about it for the rest of the session and the next session as well. (There may have been several cogent reasons for the therapist's refusal. Perhaps he saw it as exhibitionistic, or some other form of acting in. Although any of these reasons might be true, the therapist acted with an excessive speed that prevented much reflection, and the boy picked up on that.) Finally, at the next session, the therapist said, "I have been thinking about what happened and feel that I disappointed myself in not looking at the scar." The boy answered, "I don't care if you disappointed yourself, you disappointed me." And they began another disagreement. The issue was never completely resolved to the patient's satisfaction. The scar was never viewed. And the therapy was seriously wounded even though it continued. But a significant part of the patient's world was cut from further intersubjective sharing. The therapeutic world shrunk rather than expanding.
Even worse, sometimes a failed moment of meeting brings a fairly sudden termination to the treatment. In such cases patients feel (rightly or wrongly) that the therapist is incapable of understanding them."
The wounded boy stands on the threshold. How long has it taken him to travel the infinite distance from his second dart in order to arrive here, in the room, with his scar, ready at last to show what cannot be shown? He offers to lift the veil of his shirt, the shroud, the curtain that separates him from everyone else. It is the mark of his wound and his singularity. How will he ever be able to learn how to sing through this wound? This wound is also the mark of his personality, what marks him is also what makes him, and he offers to show this at last, so that it might be brought back into his body, so that the secret can be told inside his body, instead of being projected out of it, beyond the veil. The analyst, fearing the breaking of the seal, has been triggered, and acknowledges this in his statement, "I disappointed myself in not looking at the scar." It's his own scar he fears here, isn't it? That he wants to keep from looking at. And in writing about this relationship Daniel Stern says "the therapy was seriously wounded," as if the scar had been passed from the body onto the therapy, which has become, perhaps, a third dart.
The first dart offers the inevitability of pain. The second dart is the storytelling around that pain. It's easy to speak of two darts until you're in relationships where there are many more darts. When we're in relationship with someone who has the second dart we can internalize the second dart for ourselves. We need to be grounded in equanimity, to use our body as an instrument to discern what's not being felt, or what is being felt.
Attention as Natural Resource
Empathy is nestled in the smallest moments of our lives. Our ability to pay attention is our most important quality. Our attention is the most powerful natural resource. For humans attention is always there, it is the quality which is most healing.
At the end of his life Freud wrote a paper entitled Analysis Terminable and Interminable (1937). It posed the question: can analysis ever end? It concluded that what is most healing about psychoanalysis is not analysis but the quality of the relationship. And that healing and relationship are only possible when there is intimacy. Intimacy can root even in the smallest gestures.
Michael: I had a client who was struggling with insomnia. We had tried everything, even medication that was so strong it would knock him out, but this lasted for only a couple of weeks and then he wasn't sleeping again. Every time we met he would sit in the chair and tell the same story. The same story. The same story. Sometimes I would look at the clock convinced that it had run out of batteries. He would speak so very slowly and I was beyond boredom.
I decided to ask a friend of mine to help me end with him. I felt we were colluding in something unconscious, and that I was contributing to his condition. So I began to practice how I would end, but each time I did, my friend said no, I don't believe it, you're not convincing. Finally the day arrived, and he came and looked really tired. I suggested that perhaps he could lie down, and as he lay down I got ready to break the news to him. And then he fell asleep. This is a man with extreme insomnia. When he woke up he said, "If I didn't come here I would be dead." For two years I had been wanting his condition to shift, but for him this room was the only safe place he had to release. My attitude was that this person needed to be transformed, and this story was keeping me from seeing him where he actually was. Without attentiveness, dharma is only philosophy.
Freud and Jung
In 1909, Freud was 53 years old and the new mental treatment that he had developed, which he named "psychoanalysis," was 14 years old. Dr. Freud had already published numerous papers and a half dozen books, but they were not widely read. One of the most important, the Interpretation of Dreams, brought out in late 1899, had sold only 600 copies in 8 years and earned him $250. However, Freud and his theory were making headway in Europe. He had formed a Psychological Wednesday Society in Vienna in 1902–later the Vienna Psychoanalytical Society–which attracted followers who met with him weekly in his waiting room. Also, he had a crowded appointment calendar of patients, mostly neurotics from Eastern Europe.
Clark University, a small private coeducational school (today the enrollment is 2,700 students), was about to observe its 20th anniversary in 1909. To celebrate the occasion, President Hall decided to invite Freud to give a series of lectures on the origin and growth of psychoanalysis, in July, before a conclave of psychologists. Freud declined this first invitation. He was solidly booked with patients for July and felt that he was "not rich enough" to cancel out 3 weeks of therapy. "America should bring in money, not cost money," he said. However, President Hall of Clark University would not be denied. Shortly after, he extended a second invitation to Freud, stating that the celebration had been rescheduled for early September, and offering Freud 3,000 marks -$714.60 – for 5 lectures devoted to his new discoveries about sex and dreams. This time Freud accepted.
On the boat they analyzed each other's dreams. One afternoon, Freud recounted his dream to Jung, and then proceeded to analyze it. It was a dream concerning his mother. Jung insisted that the dream wasn't related to something in the past. Freud was upset, how could Jung dare to cross his theory that all psychic and unconscious experience is based on reversioning the past, mostly difficult events in childhood. Jung is trying to get Freud to talk about what he's feeling now, and this was the beginning of their split. Jung felt that the psychiatrist was not a psychic archaeologist, that you can only experience the past in the present moment.
Mindfulness means being attentive to what's happening now. To watch it rise and fall instead of following concepts and abstracting experience. To indulge the sixth sense of the mind. The therapeutic goal is always connection. When does this happen? Only in the present.
(Louise Bourgeois drawing from 1944. Bourgeois died on May 31, 2010.)
Clinicians and Yogis (Day Fourteen)
July 16, 2010
The following notes were taken at Emmanuel Howard Church where the Yoga intensive participants workshopped with Michael's Clinician's Group.
Jane Hirschfield offers this definition of Zen: "Zen pretty much comes down to three things: everything changes, everything is connected, pay attention." It's better to cultivate a meditative attention than to produce a virtuosic meditation technique. "One instant of full attention fills immensity." Endless time is happening right now. If you can focus on this moment of attention, you can see the person who is seeing. Dogen might add: and when you get to know that person, you can forget about them, and then you can really see them.
Signal and Noise
Healing and intimacy are twinned, like the moon nestled by water. One of the ways we suffer is defining our self through aversion. By what we don't want to include. This can also occur linguistically. One word can summon a whole world of feeling. We create more anxiety by trying to get rid of anxiety. How can we experience anxiety from its side, instead of using language to say, "I do not like…"? The practice softens the part of us that is saying "no." How to move attention across the body, to speak from our symptoms?
As a therapist/clinician, we try to find ways to increase the patient's signal, in dharma this is seen as a kind of violence. Why not try instead to reduce the noise around the signal, to allow it to be clearer? How to find a place to meet our symptoms, and instead of saying I don't want it, to listen to it, because it has a lot more to say. Rejecting symptoms is the same thing that societies do with marginalized groups, they are ignored and repressed. But if you don't pay attention, then the voice of the symptom gets louder. The goal of the practice is to pay attention to symptoms and small concerns as they begin, and thereby to lower the overall sound. "What I resist persists."
Jung compared symptoms to scabs. He felt that dreams were scabs, the conscious becoming unconscious in order to balance itself.
One of the differences between western psychology and Buddhist practice is that psychology is trained to look at the negative. What's wrong? What is not being brought forward? What is broken, what hurts? But this isn't focusing on how the positive is brought into consciousness. The negative is so seductive. Here is the exercise. Sit together as two people, face to face. One asks the other, "Tell me something you appreciate about your life." Or: "What are you grateful for?" The other person answers, and then the questioner will reply, "Thank you." The question is posed again. For five of the longest minutes of your life.
To focus on what we're grateful for is a gateway to positive states. It's important to know what's present and coming up for us, what our conditions are, but also important to notice what is absent or missing.
(From Micah Lexier's "A Minute of My Time")


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OSHA News Release - (Archived) Table of Contents
Trenching Safety Hazards at Portsmouth, N.H., Work Site Lead
to over $40,000 in Fines for Bradford, Mass., Contractor
BOSTON -- Safety hazards mainly involving an inadequately protected trench have resulted in $40,500 in proposed fines against a contractor excavating at a Portsmouth, New Hampshire, work site.
Early & Sons, Inc., of Bradford, Mass., has been cited by the U.S. Labor Department's Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) for alleged willful, repeat and serious violations of the Occupational Safety and Health Act following a May 2 inspection at an excavation site on International Drive in Portsmouth.
The most serious condition observed at the site, for which OSHA is citing the company for an alleged willful violation, was an employee working in an excavation that had not been properly sloped or shored to protect against cave-ins. The company had been cited previously for similar violations on the same street on April 8, 2002 and at another site on October 19, 2000. The company is also being cited for an alleged repeat violation for failing to support a section of pavement that had been undermined by the excavation. Early and Sons was previously cited for a similar violation at a Salem, N.H. site on October 19, 2000.
Finally, the company is being cited for alleged serious violations for failing to protect employees working in an excavation from the hazards posed by accumulating water, and for failing to protect an employee using a torch to cut pipe with proper eye and face protection.
"Improperly protected trenches can collapse suddenly and with great force," said David May, OSHA area director for New Hampshire. "Workers can be instantly buried alive. OSHA was surprised to find some of the same violations that it found only a month before. It is inexcusable for an employer who is well aware of the requirements for excavation safety to repeatedly expose employees to such potentially fatal hazards."
A willful violation is defined by OSHA as one committed with an intentional disregard of, or plain indifference to, the requirements of the Occupational Safety and Health Act and regulations. A repeat violation is defined as one where, upon reinspection, a substantially similar violation is found. A serious violation is defined as one in which there is substantial probability that death or serious physical harm could result, and the employer knew, or should have known, of the hazard.
Early & Sons, Inc., has 15 business days from receipt of its citations and proposed penalties to either elect to comply with them, to request and participate in an informal conference with the OSHA area director, or to contest them before the independent Occupational Safety and Health Review Commission.
The inspection was conducted by the OSHA Area Office in Concord, N.H. The telephone number is 603-225-1629.
|OSHA News Release - (Archived) Table of Contents
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subset: commoncrawl


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can you feel pregnancy symptoms immediately after you concieve?
Posted: 08/29/2007 by HOPIE23
Mom Answers
Sort by: best answers | most recent answers
591 - 600 of 1867 answers
if it's been two weeks, you can already test and most likely get a correct result. Just test to find out. Also, if you don't want to be pregnant, don't worry too much about your symptoms - girls on this forum, including me, had pregnancy symptoms full on, and then a negative pregnancy test. But don't pull out in the future - use a condom! When a guy is erect, sperm starts to come out much earlier when he actually finishes. And you need a drop that you can't even see to get pregnant. Do not use the pull out method. You'll end up pregnant.posted 08/11/2014 by VLJ1
Hi i am reading all.of these comments and im freaking out bc i went through a week of feeling dizzy bad headaches here n there and red meat.made.me almost want to throw up but this was when my bf.pulled out about two weeks ago but now im.better but my nipples are so freaking tender and having mild sharp pains in my breast and this.been happening a day after we conceived so im confused!!posted 08/11/2014 by a BabyCenter Member
Wow, that sounds very likely your preg! Your most likely experiencing implantation bleeding which is very normal :-) thank you for posting & you will probably have a faint positive in about 3 days!! Good luck to you!posted 08/10/2014 by Jgreffmom
Sorry for TMI but now 10 days past ovulation, have been having nausea, cold-like symptoms, clear thick mucous and gassiness for past few days but starting today I have been very tired and peeing constantly. Mid-day I still had thickish us when I wiped but it had a slight brown tinge. The next time I went to the bathroom there was a huge glob of tinged mucous- probably half the size of a golf ball. Has anyone experienced this? Is this a bad sign? Not supposed to have period until Friday. Too early to test?posted 08/10/2014 by a BabyCenter Member
@jolenebirch666, did you take a test? My firend just found out she's 12 weeks pregnant, but she had a normal period at 4 weeks. You can still have a full on period and be pregnant. Good luck1posted 08/10/2014 by VLJ1
I had implantation bleeding then a normal period but is it quick to conceive a pregnancy as iv had nausea, extreme tiredness, mega eating and having to go to the bathroom a good majority of the time throughout the day and the nightposted 08/09/2014 by jolenebirch666
Hey everyone. Its been way helpful reading these comments. Bc i have been wrong about a pregnancy before. But for some this time honestly seems different. My period was to come on the 7th of this month but i was mildly cramping before that. My back became stiff and mildly sore. I toss ans turn all thru the night and ive been waking upevery day for a week in a half at 6 and thats very unusal for me im not a morning person i wake up at atleast 11:30 or later. But for some reason its just a feeling that i have about this time i plan on taking a home test a week from now and we will see :)posted 08/09/2014 by a BabyCenter Member
Ash113, I had a cramping and gassy feelings and even some leg cramps. Lower backache as well. So you definitely could be…those were my biggest signs.posted 08/07/2014 by kcmelia
TTC for the first time. Had intercourse on what I believe is my ovulation day. Now seven days later I have some slight cramping/gassy feeling, leg cramps and sinus infection/cold-like symptoms. Also a little nausea the last couple days but that could be due to my cold symptoms. Cautiously hopeful at this point.posted 08/07/2014 by Ash113
Ok I posted something. A few days okay and I don't know if I'm pregnant. Nor not but my stomach. Been hurting like crazy I try to eat to see if that helps but it doesn't. I talk to my boyfriend and he said the something that his stomachs. Been hurting could this b a sign of early pregnancyposted 08/07/2014 by jonnetta98
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Wellcome to Café Nemoland, Christiania!
At our café we welcome everybody – including you!
Not only do we serve a varity of different foods and drinks, we also host musical events.
Here everything is up in smoke, laughter and having a great time.
Hope to see you at Café Nemoland!


text: R!OT Santa Monica has promoted Diana Young from associate producer to visual effects producer for commercials and music videos. Young, a 10-year post-production vet, joined R!OT in 1999. Previously she worked at 525 Post Production, the Post Group in Hollywood and Pascal Video. Her credits at R!OT include spots for Skittles, Hamburger Helper, Suzuki and Skyy Blue and she co-produced a two-minute montage that kicked off THE X-FILES final season.


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See All Contributors »
Type: Posts; User: moater; Keyword(s):
I have used Vista Kennel Just off Hubbell
4400 NE 46th St Des Moines, IA 50317(515) 262-0309
Upgrading your wifes phone won't effect your inlimited data plan. I have inlimited data also. The rest of my family has 2 GB limits (four Phones). The data plans are specific to each phone.
One Crazy Summer
Weekend at Bernies
Importing a .PST file on outlook 2010
Click on "File"
Click On "Open"
Click on "Import"
Click on "Import from another program"
Click on "Outlook Data File (.pst)
Browse for the file and hit...
Met - 12
Dating - 15
Engaged - 22
Married - 23 (After Graduating from ISU)
three kids and 24 years later still going strong
Using 8% as the minimum potential loss in revenue that leaves 15.3 million in potential lost revenue per year for both school (For new TV Deal). Either way the Big 12 will probably make Nebraska...
James Rollins, Mathew Reilly, Stewart Woods, and Lee Child are four authors that I read for a change of pace. They each have books with recurring characters.
Burn Notice
Try the Kodak printer. My wife bought it for her daycare business. The ink is cheap and so far it has proven reliable
recurring characters that I read
1 Vince Flynn - Mitch Rapp
2 Brad Thor - Scott Harvath
3 John Sandford - Lucas Davenport
4 Stuart Woods - 3 series - Stone Barrington, Will Lee, Holly Barker...
Wicked Prey comes out May 12th. I have read all of the prey series. Anyone read Stuart Woods?
"excuse me while I whip this out"
It will be on Tuesday night @ 10:00 P.M.
Regardless if they are vanity plates always keep your plates and turn them in to the county. You may be able to get a refund. Contact the county. The plates are registered to you and are not...
John is going to Old Dominion on a scholarship. He has been fun to watch this year.
The Wolfen by Whitley Strieber is one of my favorites.
That's the fine line I am currently trying to walk as a parent. Lords knows my parents let me get myself into a mess a few times when they could have intervened and saved me a whole lot of trouble.
Now that I have a kid in high school I have had some pretty interesting conversations with my mom. I was amazed at how much my mom actually knew of my activities. Her best advice so far has been...
Unfortunately my dad was gone before Reagan was president. So it always illicited a smile when he said this. Still it doesn't mean it is not true now.
I look at it as a tool or resource. When I was growing up my dad always said "trust but verify" It works both ways between parent and child. Blind faith or trust is a noble idea but not always...
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From Our 2012 Archives
Depression Linked to Peripheral Artery Disease
Latest Depression News
Being Depressed May Set Stage for PAD, or Vice Versa
By Denise Mann
Reviewed by Laura J. Martin, MD
April 20, 2012 -- Depression may increase the risk for peripheral artery disease (PAD), which commonly results from narrowed leg arteries, a new study suggests.
The study results "demonstrate that there is an association between depression and PAD," says researcher S. Marlene Grenon, MD. She is an assistant professor of surgery at the University of California, San Francisco. "We know that if you have depression, your risk for PAD is likely related to poor health behaviors like smoking and physical inactivity."
People who are depressed may be more likely to smoke and less likely to exercise and eat a healthy diet, all of which could raise the risk risk of heart disease and PAD.
The findings were presented at the American Heart Association's Arteriosclerosis, Thrombosis, and Vascular Biology 2012 Scientific Sessions in Chicago.
In the study, 1,018 people with heart disease were followed for more than seven years. When the study began, 12% of people with depression had PAD, as did 7% of those who were not depressed.
People who were depressed were more likely to be younger and female. They were also more likely to have lower HDL ("good" cholesterol), high levels of C-reactive protein, which is a sign of inflammation in the body, and a history of heart attack, heart failure, or diabetes. They also tended to smoke and be physically inactive, and were less inclined to take their medications as directed.
Seven percent of depressed people and 5% of those without depression had a PAD-related event during the study period. These included surgery to open blocked leg arteries or other treatments.
What Is PAD?
PAD occurs when arteries away from the heart become narrowed and blocked. The leg and pelvis arteries are most commonly affected. PAD involving the leg arteries can cause painwhile walking, climbing stairs, or exercising. This pain usually stops during rest.
Risk factors for PAD are similar to those of heart disease, including smoking, diabetes, high blood pressure, and elevated cholesterol.
PAD treatment includes lifestyle changes -- such as eating a healthy diet, quitting smoking, and getting more exercise -- that are aimed at reducing these risks. Medications to treat conditions that increase risk for PAD and/or surgery to open blocked leg arteries are also options.
"If people have pain with walking or lesions on their feet, they should be evaluated by a doctor to see if it is PAD," Grenon says. "If they do have PAD, they should make sure that they get proper treatment."
Is depression a red flag for PAD? "I don't think we can say that yet, but we need to look at other risk factors in patients with depression," she says. "People who have depression are at increased risk for heart disease and PAD in the future, but at present, they are more at risk of having certain poor health behaviors that could increase their risk of heart disease."
What Comes First?
Is depression the chicken or the egg? Vivienne Halpern, MD, is not sure. She is the chief of vascular surgery and a clinical associate professor of surgery at University of Arizona College of Medicine in Phoenix. "It has also been shown in prior studies that after PAD develops, there is an increasing risk of depression due to ... the feelings of endless problems and not feeling well that don't go away," she says in an email. "This is understandable as many of these diseases, including PAD, greatly alter what one is able to do and how one feels."
Treating the depression may help improve PAD. "It aids in having them participate in their care, helps them achieve better activity levels and avoid destructive habits," she says.
Regardless of which condition comes first, Alan Manevitz, MD, says that addressing the depression is important. He is a clinical psychiatrist at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York.
"Depression and heart disease are linked, and together they make for a more a difficult prognosis," he says.
Treating depression often has positive spillover benefits on other conditions.
These findings were presented at a medical conference. They should be considered preliminary as they have not yet undergone the "peer review" process, in which outside experts scrutinize the data prior to publication in a medical journal.
SOURCES: S. Marlene Grenon, MD, assistant professor of surgery, University of California, San Francisco. American Heart Association's Arteriosclerosis, Thrombosis and Vascular Biology 2012 Scientific Session, Chicago, April 18-20, 2012. Vivienne Halpern, MD, chief, vascular surgery and clinical associate professor of surgery, University of Arizona College of Medicine, Phoenix, Ariz. Alan Manevitz, MD, clinical psychiatrist, Lenox Hill Hospital, New York City.
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1 Review
I love chicken breasts but Malcolm prefers legs and thighs, so I was pleased to make this recipe as it seemed to be full of flavour! It was! We both really enjoyed this today - I made it exactly as posted but I pan-fried mine with FABULOUS results! We ate this with steamed greens and saute potatoes for a very tasty luncheon dish. Made for Holiday Tag and a keeper for me - I love the BBC Good Food magazine BTW! FT:-)


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More Videos...
L'impressionnant crash d'une Chevrolet Bel Air 1956 pendant une course. (HD)
Le crash d'une Chevrolet Bel Air de 1956 lors d'une course sur le circuit Pikes Peak International Raceway de Fountain, dans le Colorado. Abonnées vous pour +videos : https://www.youtube.com/nlados Best Videos ©
1956 Chevy Bel Air Test Drive
*Tour posted to channel* Kinda a boring video but I hope y'all enjoy!
134468 / 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air
For more information on this vehicle visit http://tinyurl.com/krlg5kv If you're searching for a sizzling custom that features the absolute best of everything, you've found your next classic! While this hardtop's body received plenty of attention, that work was specifically aimed at creating the most perfect surface possible. And the result is panels that are amazingly flat, displaying nary a ripple or wave anywhere. As expected, those straight panels ensure fit and finish that's significantly above '50s factory fodder. A glossy coat of Torch Red two-stage lends the car a sporty demeanor that most pastels simply can't match. And naturally, that vivid pigment has been sanded, buffed and polished to a spectacular shine that'll equal any classic on any AACA show field. Hoist this custom's shaved hood you'll find a 355 cubic inch, show-detailed V8 that mixes great sounds with excellent horsepower. At the top of that glare-inducing mill, a chrome air cleaner mixes wind from a reusable filter element with high octane fossils that are juiced through a braided fuel line and small Autogage pressure meter. Below that cleaner, a chrome-capped carburetor funnels a perfect air/fuel mixture into a big chrome intake that's flanked by chromed and stylized valve covers. Behind those valve covers, an MSD Pro-Billet distributor sequences spark through loomed Taylor plug wires. Cooling is provided by a painted Griffin radiator that's equipped with a polished tank, a bowtie-branded cap and two quick-spinning puller fans. Charging comes courtesy of a Billet Specialties V-Trac system, which spins a chrome alternator and polished AC compressor above attractive billet pulleys. And spent gases travel from a clean pair of coated shorty headers to large, aluminized Exhaust pipes. Combining adjustable QA1 shocks with pocketed rear springs, this hardtop's boxed and smoothed chassis provides a comfortable, durable ride that's spiced by improved handling. At the center of that Satin Black skeleton, a proven GM turbo-Hydramatic 350 sends torque to a stout rear end that spins an open differential around friendly, 3.42 gears. At the front of that proven drivetrain, aesthetically pleasing power steering utilizes a Classic Performance Products gearbox to make quick work of tight spots and sharp turns. At the corners of the car, large, body-matched calipers, which milk fluid from a chrome brake Booster, squeeze drilled and slotted rotors to supply short, fade-free stops. And all this mechanical goodness rolls on stunning Billet Specialties Legends, which spin aggressive 225/45ZR18 Nitto NT555 Extreme ZRs in front of 275/35ZR20 Nitto NT555 Extreme ZRs. This Bel Air's streamlined cockpit HAS to be one of the coolest interiors we've ever seen. Power front and fixed rear buckets don soft leather hides that display no significant wear. Between those seats, a contoured, full-length console hides LED courtesy lamps under Vintage Air climate controls, chrome power window switches and a modern JVC head unit. Above that console, a painted dash hangs clean Classic Instruments gauges over polished trim and leather-wrapped air conditioning hardware. And in front of the driver, a polished and bowtie-branded steering wheel spins a half-wrapped rim around a chrome, tilting column. If you're dreaming of the perfect blend of lavish 50s style and modern, reliable performance, you've found the ultimate classic! Call, click or visit http://RKMotorsCharlotte.com today.
Driving a 1959 Chevrolet Bel Air 283 Stick Shift - ROAD TEST
We drive an original 1959 Chevrolet Bel Air with power pack 283, dual Exhaust, stick shift, overdrive, and posi.


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5 Reasons Why The U.S. Women's Cross-Country Ski Team Is Winning So Many Medals
Peggy Shinn Feb. 03, 2016
The team finished on the podium four times in the past month.
Steven Lopez, Paige McPherson And Stephen Lambdin Win Taekwondo's Olympic Trials
Steve Yingling Feb. 02, 2016
The three fighters move on to a continental Olympic qualifier in March in Mexico.
Vote On Team USA's Top Athletes From January
Feb. 02, 2016
See which athletes made Team USA's Best of January nominations and vote on your favorites.
Meet Tenley Albright And Carol Heiss, The Figure Skaters Who Started Team USA's History Of Olympic Gold 60 Years Ago
Karen Rosen Feb. 02, 2016
Albright became first U.S. woman to win Olympic gold in 1956. Heiss won silver in '56 and gold in '60.
Sports Scene: Jan. 26-Feb. 1
United States Olympic Committee Feb. 02, 2016
Fencers qualified for Rio, Nita Englund earned two top-10 finishes, Brittany Bowe collected three medals and more.
Breaking Down The U.S. Olympic Team Trials For Table Tennis
Josh Walfish Feb. 02, 2016
Six U.S. athletes will move on to the continental qualifier in Canada.
IOC President Bach Visits Los Angeles And Proposed LA 2024 Games Venues
LA 2024 Feb. 02, 2016
Bach visited key sites of the proposed Games plan at UCLA and USC.
Fencer Ibtihaj Muhammad Qualifies For Olympics, Will Become First U.S. Athlete To Compete In A Hijab
Brandon Penny Feb. 02, 2016
The Most Decorated U.S. Fencer In History, Mariel Zagunis Qualifies For Fourth Olympic Team
Brandon Penny Feb. 02, 2016
The two-time Olympic champion will go for the gold in Rio after missing the podium in 2012.
U.S. Women's Saber Team Qualifies For Rio
Darci Miller Feb. 02, 2016
With three world medals in the past three years, the team is a favorite for Olympic hardware.


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Marcellus After witnessing the devastation wrought by Hurricane Sandy on large swaths of the Northeast, the National Junior Honor Society at C.S. Driver Middle School responded by rallying classmates to help.
The society distributed lists of needed supplies – for health and school supply kits – to all middle school grades. As the donations poured in, society members and other student volunteers pitched in to sort them in Kathy Rein's classroom, and then assemble the kits.
Students put together a total of 69 school supply kits and 88 health kits, which last week were loaded onto National Grid trucks bound for Rockaway Beach, a section of Queens devastated by the storm. The life-changing provisions were delivered in time for Thanksgiving, Rein said.
"That's some 157 people that we were able to help out directly with some much needed supplies, and then many more with the extra miscellaneous items," Rein said. "You should have seen my room on the last day of collection. It looked like I had done a year's worth of shopping! Once we gave the lists to each grade level, the kids did the rest."
In addition to the kits, the Driver Middle School community donated extra supplies, such as pencils, notebooks, loose-leaf and construction paper, bandages, toothbrushes, combs and more.
Two classes received special recognition (and a pizza party) for the sheer volume of goods collected: Audra Sevey's class, which brought in 210 items, and Anita Pawlewicz's class with 109 items.
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Do Sports Records Really Tell It like It Was?
Suman Bandrapalli, writer of The Christian Science Monitor, The Christian Science Monitor
'The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it," Oscar Wilde once wrote. Even in the world of sports, there is support for the witty Dubliner's aphorism.
Sports revisionists have rarely run into controversy as long as they focused on lesser-known marks of bygone athletes. But the recent Nykesha Sales episode at the University of Connecticut raised a few questions. When and why should records be changed. And by whom?
Sales is an All-American basketball player at Connecticut who is often described as unselfish and brilliant. She was one point short of a school scoring record when an injury ended her season with one regular season game left in her college career. Since she was so well liked, her teammates and opponents felt Sales should have the record. Such gestures are not unprecedented. An injured Lou Gehrig once preserved his consecutive games streak when given a courtesy at-bat. He quickly left from his 1,427th game and returned to his hotel to recuperate. The Sales incident, however, was met with an outcry. The integrity of women's basketball was questioned in newspaper and TV reports. It became a story that could not be ignored. Then, acting on a tip, ESPN's magazine reviewed television footage of an earlier game and discovered that Sales was wrongly credited with two points someone else scored. Hence, the magazine said, Sales was still one point short of a record. "Whenever there is a conflict, we allow the two contesting teams to resolve the dispute," says Jim Wright, director of statistics at the National Collegiate Athletic Association. In the Sales case, it was UConn and Seton Hall University, the host. Representatives of both schools said they were happy with the scoring, and Sales got to keep the record. "We only get involved when a national record is involved," says Wright. "And only when there is substantial and irrefutable evidence." An athlete's career is often weighed in terms of statistical milestones. The availability of technology such as slow-motion television replays and computer databases make it possible to track these more closely than before. Last week, the UCLA-Alabama women's basketball game was analyzed, frame by frame, to determine how long the timekeeper took to restart the clock in the waning seconds of Alabama's 75-74 victory. "That's absurd," says Gary Johnson, an NCAA statistician of the excessive scrutiny. "Everybody is human." Recordkeepers are quick to point out that referees and timekeepers must make many judgement calls. There are more than 900 colleges in the US and the ability of statisticians is bound to vary widely. …


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The mother of one of the city's most talented and reclusive musicians has lost her battle with cancer.
Remy Shand's mother Lana Shand died on March 4. She and her husband Doug home-schooled Remy, who could play the keyboards, guitar and drums before he was a teenager.
He recorded his debut solo album, The Way I Feel, in his parent's Garden City condo, playing almost every instrument himself. It was released on Motown Records and went on to sell 750,000 copies.
Lana was also creative, with a passion for writing and poetry. She and Doug collected vintage clothing and opened their own store, Vintage Glory, in the Exchange District last year.
A private service to celebrate her life has already been held.


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Open source Gurus, rejoice! OpenMoko has launched the Linux based FreeRunner mobile phone today through OpenMoko's web-based store and will begin shipping it July 7. This new phone utilizes GNU/Linux and comes with core software needed for dialing, SMS and recording contacts. It will supplement these features with periodic downloads. Two versions of the phone will be available: 850MHz or 900 MHz Tri-band GSM to match frequencies in different countries. Black, oval-shaped and weighing 6.5 ounces, it also features a 2.8" 480 x 640 VGA touch screen, Wi-Fi (802.1 1b/g), AGPS, GPRS 2.5G, Bluetooth 2.0, two 3-axis motion sensors and comes with 128MB WSDRAM and 256MB NAND Flash.
Using the Openmoko mobile platform, the Free and Open Source Software community and create unique versions of the FreeRunner phone, modifying the way the phone operates and even the way it looks. They have opened the CAD files under a Creative Commons license to make it easy for industrial designers to change the appearance of the Openmoko Neo FreeRunner and select alternate materials and finishes to tailor the phone's look and feel. The phone's odd ovoid shape really does not appeal to me and I can imagine might be the first thing to go. Considering it's somewhat limited specs compared to other phones available today, it looks set to only be a real draw for those into open source software.


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Difference between pages "Wise Investment in a Real Estate Lawyer" and "Tucson Bed and Breakfast: ideal for Your Arizona Remain"
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Revision as of 22:28, 1 August 2015
If you should be planning a trip to Arizona, a Tucson bed and breakfast may be the perfect destination for a stay - whether for a weekend, a nighttime, or to get a Tucson extended-stay. In fact, breakfast and a Tucson bed may supply costs that are overnight along with Tucson weekly accommodations. This-not just helps it be a benefit that is great, but delivers many conveniences that are other aswell.
Sleep and breakfast rooms typically function one-of-a-kind areas rather than the cookiecutter locations offered by resorts. You might have a ground-floor room with a personal exterior entrance and resting veranda, or benefit from the traditional woodwork wearing your bedroom. But with a feeling of heritage that is difficult to copy in a series hotel, some companies provide you beyond that. Like, you may find a Tucson bed and breakfast that was initially built at the turn of the twentieth-century. Renovated you might say that retains the annals but gives rooms that are lavish to attendees, such a Tucson bed and breakfast will provide you having a remarkable stay.
A bed and breakfast is also an ideal "homebase" from with to find out the wide selection of Tucson area attractions. If you should be pursuits are mental, Tucson is home to the Flandrau Science Core, which includes observatory a planetarium, and mineral memorial and the School of Az. Should you and the Spring Museum look at, you may not wish to miss out the "Minoris Tale Project," a system of common records from undercover miners. The Pima Oxygen and the Titan Missile Public and Space Gallery aren't to be missed if you'd rather look to the heavens.
should you'd rather accept the outdoors (and beat the heat!), Colossal Cave Mountain Playground makes an ideal adventure. You can take a visit of the 70- cavern, take pleasure in the tranquility of the garden, or saddle for tours. Chances are, mule deer 'll be seen by you, and you may experience the parkis whitetail deer, if you're fortunate. While you're in Tucson, you shouldn't skip the Botanical Gardens, which includes 16 specialty gardens using an array of garden and botanical designs. And, taking the outdoors in is Biosphere2, that is found about 25 miles from Tucson that is key. While you take a visit, you'll feel the world.
Few visitors to Tucson may fight the 4th Avenue Section, a purchasing and dinner location with more than 100 eateries and merchants. It's the destination for a opt for Tucson nightlife, and you'll find from live music venues to area pubs that are calm. The Center has street gatherings inside the springtime and winter, business pavement selling gatherings, bicycle swap meets, and a variety of additional events that you will not wish to overlook.
After your everyday ventures, you'll need the respite a Tucson bed and breakfast offers. the history that is enjoy, the hominess, and the uniqueness of a Tucson bed breakfast that is wonderful.


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Oracle SOA Suite 11g
I've playing around with the new preview of Oracle SOA Suite. Among the new features, Business Events is the most attractive to me and it can be considered Oracle's first iteration towards a complete Complex Event Processing platform based on different technologies of the SOA Suite. Additionally, the implementation of Service Component Architecture (SCA) as part of the SOA Composite Editor is definitely interesting although I am still not convinced of its applicability on Enterprise scenarios.
RESTful services description languages
Steve Vinoski posted an interesting reflection about the use of description languages on RESTful services. I have to agree 200% with Steve, WSDL and 1.1 and simply horrendous. Although WSDL 2.0 drastically improves in the modeling aspects of the services it does not solve one of the fundamental problems of its predecessors which tightly couple web Services with RPC and object oriented models. This gets even worse when you are working with ESBs or Integration Servers that are highly dependent on WSDL, sometimes you get the impression you are writing a big object oriented programL. However, I still think that some sort of description language is really beneficial in a lot of scenarios such as service-endpoint discovery, policy description, service management and versioning. On those scenarios, the use of languages such as RDF, WADL, Atom or even tools such as Power Point or Excel can provide a better and more flexible solution than WSDL.
More on modeling: SML 1.1
W3C has released new drafts of the Service Modeling Language specifications.
Cleaning up BAM Activity Instances
One of the main challenges of Business Activity Monitoring(BAM) solutions is the control the lifecycle of the activities. This is especially critical in scenarios that involve activity continuations between different applications. Far too many times activities don't get completed affecting important BAM components such as aggregations, KPIs, etc. More importantly, keeping incomplete activities stored in the "ActivityName"_Active tables in the BAMPrimaryImport database can tremendously affect the performance of BizTalk BAM solutions. As part of the BizTalk server SDK we can find a SQL Server stored procedure that moves the incomplete activities from the Active tables to a new set of tables, the essence of this stored procedure is to add the incomplete state to the BAM Activity lifecycle creating a new table per BAM activity as well as its continuations and relationships. This stored procedure recycles individual activities and keeps the incomplete tables in the BAMPrimaryImport database. Although this approach works great, for a lot of scenarios makes sense to move the incomplete activities directly to the BAMArchive database keeping the BAMPrimaryImport database for storing live data. We can accomplish that with a few slight modifications to the same stored procedure highlighted in the following code. This stored procedure is intended to run in the BAMArchive database but it will poll the data from the BAMPrimaryImport database (notice the database prefix in some of the queries)
Mark Little on WS-* vs. REST
This is one of the best reflections I have ever read about the WS-* vs. REST debate. For the ones of you new to MEST, this is an complementary alternative to REST mostly evangelized by my friend and SOA guru Jim Webber


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Monthly Archives: October 2012
Tidying up the garden for the winter
At the weekend I hoicked out the tomatoes (getting a fair crop of green tomatoes in the process), courgettes, gone-to-seed lettuce, and a bundle of unexpected carrots, to clear some space before winter. I also dug over the compost and … Continue reading
Posted in gardening, growing things Tagged broad beans, compost, gardening, growing things, lettuce, peas Leave a comment
Canal paths and cargo trikes
Last week I took the Christiania (without baby) over to Three Mills to pick up a stack of recycled scaffolding board. Contrary to the doubt of the chap who loaded them up ("they're really heavy, you know, will you be … Continue reading
Posted in cycling Tagged cycle facilities, cycling, moving things, trike 1 Comment
Baby & trike: the next stage!
I've just realised that I have nearly no photos of L in the trike over the last 6 months; perhaps because we just use it as a transport option without thinking to take a photo. However! As of this week, … Continue reading
Posted in cycling, kids Tagged baby, christiania, cycling, cycling with kids, trike 1 Comment
River of Flowers
I came across River of Flowers recently: a project aiming to plant and encourage urban wildflower meadows to help the flow of pollinators across London. (It's now spread to elsewhere in the world.) As someone who's trying to create her … Continue reading
Posted in environment, gardening Tagged bees, insects, wildflowers Leave a comment
Burning With Optimism's Flames
Burning With Optimism's Flames, containing my short story 'Squatters Rights', now out from Obverse Books as an ebook. Print copy to follow (or available now on pre-order). Really excited about this! The rest of the book is fab too. Can't … Continue reading
Posted in fiction Leave a comment


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In Defense of Filtering
Burt, David, American Libraries
We have all heard about the dangers of Internet filtering software packages from the antifiltering activists. But even in a unanimous Supreme Court decision calling the Communications Decency Act unconstitutional (see p. 11, this issue), the justices left open the question of the appropriateness of filtering children's access in libraries. The antifiltering arguments are often full of distortions, half-truths, and poor logic. What follows are responses to the 10 most common arguments against filters.
Argument 1: All filters rely on keyword blocking. Filters block out all sites that contain words like "breast," thereby blocking out all information about breast cancer.
It's true that all filters have keyword blocking. But those who oppose filtering often leave out a key fact when they make this argument: The better filtering products allow you to turn the keyword blocking off. Every library that filters that I know of turns off the keyword blocking and instead relies on site-selected blocking, which involves a preselected stop list of banned sites chosen by employees of the software company.
Argument 2: Filters routinely block sites relating to sex education, AIDS information, gay rights, and abortion.
It's true that most filters do block some of these things. But here again another key fact is left out: The better filters break down banned sites by subject. Cyber Patrol, for example has about a dozen categories such as "controversial," "sex education," and "full nudity." When set up so that only pornographic sites are blocked, it does a good, though not perfect, job of blocking out only pornography. And the better filters, like Cyber Patrol, allow you to unblock a site that has been incorrectly blocked. The selection of blocked sites is not perfect, but it is rapidly improving.
Argument 3: Filtering involves turning over the selection of materials to outsiders.
Yes, this is true, but it's also nothing new to libraries either. Librarians have relied on vendors to preselect for them for years. Buying books on an approval plan or 300 full-text magazines on a CD-ROM also involves letting a vendor do a certain amount of selection for the librarian. There's nothing wrong with that.
Argument 4: Filters rely on a secret stop list of banned sites that can't be viewed or changed.
This is a complicated topic since the different filters handle this differently. Net Nanny, for example, allows you to view the stop list and to change it. Cyber Patrol allows you to change the stop list but not to view it. The vendor's reluctance to publish their stop list is understandable: It's what really makes the software valuable, and the vendor is naturally reluctant to give this information away to competitors. It is preferable that a filter's stop list be viewable, but a stop list that is editable and reasonably accurate is acceptable as well.
Argument 5: By filtering, a library can be viewed as a "publisher" of a Web site and could then be held responsible for its content. Prodigy was found liable for this reason in a court case.
True, Prodigy was found liable in a court case because they exercised some editorial control over the material they "published." The antifiltering activists love to cite this example but they somehow always seem to forget to mention the Cox-Wyden amendment to the Communications Act. The Cox-Wyden amendment establishes protection for "Good Samaritan" blocking and screening of offensive material. Specifically, the bill establishes that no provider or user of interactive computer services will be held liable for: 1) actions taken voluntarily in good faith to restrict access to material that the provider or user considers to be obscene, lascivious, filthy, excessively violent, harassing, or otherwise objectionable; or 2) actions taken to provide the technical means to restrict access to such material. …


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Early elementary education (P-5) is for students who want to teach young children.
Cumberlands' education program provides an excellent foundation for students who seek a career in teaching. As an education major, you will benefit from working with professors who have practical teaching experience and from access to our instructional media library with its variety of teaching materials and media.
You'll also have an opportunity for field study during your 12-week practicum at one of several schools within the district.
What Can I Do With This Degree?
What you can do with a major in Education:
- Teach students in your certification area and level (elementary, middle school, high school)
- Tutor at-risk students
- Serve in children's or youth ministry
- Become a textbook representative
- Teach or train employees in large companies
- Become an educational consultant
- Teaching on military bases or in international schools


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— Automotivesportier concepts that tend to get the lion's share of attention at auto shows, there are usually some less sexy, yet still worthy, concepts on display. Volkswagen Commercial Vehicle's e-Co-Motion concept vehicle, which is making its world debut at the 2013 Geneva Auto Show, is one such beast. Designed as a zero-emission delivery van for transporting goods around a city, the e-Co-Motion concept is an exclusively electric-powered vehicle that would boast a range of up to 200 km (124 miles). Read More
Volkswagen delivers all-electric e-Co-Motion concept in Geneva
- Darren Quick
- March 5, 2013


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PRH06 Color Me Turkey Holder Template SVG - Paper Piecing Crayon Holder - PR
Product Info
Welcome to Pepito's Room!
Color Me Turkey!©:
►►► Want to buy the Color Me Turkey! Holder© Color Printable PDF? Find it here:
Thanksgiving coloring projects are always welcome to the kids' table. They are the perfect activity to keep your little guests busy while waiting for dinner to arrive :o)
Add a touch of color and make this Thanksgiving special with this cute turkey shaped crayon holder! This adorable turkey will hold seven crayon tail feathers and can be used as name place setting as well! Here is an idea: print festive Thanksgiving coloring sheets and use them as placemats; then, when they are done, hang them as homemade decorations around the house :o)
The Color Me Turkey! Holder© is approx. 3 1/4 inches wide (4" with crayons) x 3 1/4 inches tall (4" with crayons) and 2 inches deep.
The Color Me Turkey! Holder© package contains SVG files, as well as:
*Assembly Diagram
*Reference Guide for both SCAL2 and MTC softwares for SVG files.
*Reference Guide for PDF files
*Terms of Use
*Pictures of finished product (shown here in the listing).
SVG files: Require a cutting machine and a software COMPATIBLE with SVG format, such as Sure Cuts A Lot, Make the Cut, or Silhouette Studio Designer Edition. (See Shop Announcements for details). Pepito's Room SVG Templates may contain more than one cutting file. This would allow you to combine different color/pattern papers into your projects.
** When using SSDE: You may need to scale your template at 80% in order to cut pieces at the correct size (when template imports larger than the actual size). **
The Color Me Turkey! Holder© package will be sent to you via INSTANT DOWNLOAD after payment is confirmed (it may take a few minutes). Files will be emailed to your registered Etsy email address.
Copyright ©2011 Pepito's Room. PERSONAL use ONLY.
Please, feel free to contact me with questions or comments.
Thank you for stopping by!


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At last! Cancer patients will no longer be at the mercy of NICE
A report today puts to rest our fears of yesterday. It says that Andrew Lansley is about to announce that the money needed for funding any cancer drug that a specialist decides will benefit the patient will now be available in October of this year. (We thought this plan would not come into play until 2011.) This will be an interim scheme before the fund itself begins next April.
Macmillan Cancer Support and the Rarer Cancers Foundation have worked tirelessly for this outcome – and today they have succeeded. Andrew Wilson, CEO of the Rarer Cancers Foundation wrote directly to David Cameron and the Prime Minister has listened. No longer will patients be at the mercy of NICE. What will become of this organisation now, I wonder?
Interestingly, Mr Lansley plans that, from 2013, drug companies will provide the medication and be paid later - according to how beneficial the drug proves to be for patients. That will definitely mean a financial saving for the NHS.
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A proposed documentary about The Purple Angels will bring dementia to the main stage.
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