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- Jan 25:
- President Obama to address clean energy in Aurora Thursday to private audience
- Oct 27:
- President Obama unveils plan to ease student-loan debt at Denver stop
- Oct 26:
- Air Force One de-iced and on its way back to Washington, D.C.
- President Obama speaks to college students in Denver, urges action, promises reduced student loan payments
- Live blogging President Obama's speech
- Text of Obama's speech at Denver campaign event
- Obama to speak about managing student loan debt in Denver today
AURORA — President Barack Obama received a cold greeting from Mother Nature at Buckley Air Force Base tonight. Heavy rain and 40 degree temperatures left little time for pleasantries as supporters, media and Obama himself ran for cover from the elements.
After being delayed briefly by rain, Air Force One touched down at Buckley at 6:22 p.m. The President quickly deplaned and was welcomed first by Col. Tracey Hayes, Vice Commander of the 460th Space Wing at Buckley and then by Aurora Mayor Ed Tauer, Denver Mayor Michael Hancock and Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper.
Obama then jogged across the tarmac to greet some 40 rain-soaked supporters before ducking into the Presidential limo destined for Denver.
Obama's two-day visit to Colorado, which some have taken to calling "Snobama," will include private fundraisers tonight at the Pepsi Center and a speech tomorrow morning to students and faculty of Denver-area colleges at the Auraria Event Center.
This visit is the second time in less than a month that the President has visited Denver. Lincoln High School off South Federal Boulevard was the setting for Obama's Sept. 27 speech that promoted his $447 billion jobs plan which is still being debated in Congress.
His Colorado stop is the last stop on a three-day whirlwind fundraising tour of the West that included visits to Nevada and California.
The President is scheduled to depart from Buckley before noon tomorrow.
Weston Gentry: 303-954-1054, email@example.com or twitter.com/westongentry


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STARmeterSEE RANK
Down 4,018,666 this week
Anastasia Michaeli
Anastasia Michaeli was born on July 12, 1975 in Leningrad, USSR [now St. Petersburg, Russia] as Anastassia Michaelevsky. She is an actress, known for Miluim (2005), Eretz Nehederet (2003) and Matzav Ha'Uma (2010). She has been married to Yosef Samuelson since 1997. They have eight children. See full bio »
More at IMDbPro » Represent Anastasia Michaeli? Add or change photos

subset: commoncrawl


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ST. LOUIS — As the Denver Broncos and Seattle Seahawks prep for their showdown in next weekend's Super Bowl, a legal fight is playing out over the turf installed months ago at the title game's venue.
Taylor Turf Installation Inc. is suing the MetLife Stadium's operators and the company that hired the suburban St. Louis company, seeking more than $292,000 that Taylor Turf claims it still is owed for hustling to install the New Jersey stadium's playing surface last summer.
Taylor Turf's lawsuit in New Jersey's Bergen County Superior Court names New Meadowlands Stadium Co. LLC and Dalton, Ga.-based Turf Industry Inc., doing business as UBU Sports. Neither returned messages seeking comment Friday.
Taylor's president, Kelly Taylor, told the AP that his family-owned company has over the years laid the artificial playing surface in MetLife Stadium's predecessor, Giants Stadium.


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If your major or minor is in a foreign language, or if you're just interested in developing language skills, studying abroad would be most beneficial.
The department of Modern Languages and Cultures has a list of approved programs for students majoring or minoring in Spanish, French or German Studies.
The Asian Studies Program in Hirakata, Japan enables students to explore Japan and Asian studies through classroom instruction and interaction with Japanese people. Students learn about all dimensions of Japanese life including language, business, arts, culture and society.
Explore the roles of race and gender in Cuba's rich and revolutionary history.
ISEP participants develop intercultural competence and personal maturity through immersion in another culture.
Immerse yourself in the culture and history of Seville, Spain, as you build your language skills and increaseyour cultural understanding in a way that cannot be achieved in a traditional college academic semester.
To many Americans, Latin America is a mysterious and unfamiliar land. Where would one begin to uncoverthese mysteries? An excellent choice is Chile.


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Does anyone on here play Horse Isle 2 eternal? I do! I'm RigRider.. feel free to PM me if I'm on or send me mail and I'll add you! 8D
I used to have an account on HI1 but it got deleted after I was too lazy to log on lol. I was PintoTess haha
I do I play as SplashedOvero
^ Awesome! Go ahead and send me a mail message and I'll definitley add you! :D
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The Ruins by ListenerKzWatch
©2013-2016 ListenerKz
Dang that's badass!
"Ahh, there's a fast food joint!"
Awesome sketch! Great job with the textures and the perspective!
Awesome sketch! Great job with the textures and the perspective!
Better than any of my sketches
Very nice work.
Amazing piece. Great concept. Only problem is that the perspective SEEMS a little off. I'm not sure if it actually is, but it seems to. :l
"I claim this piece of shit in the name of the Emperor!" *Slams banner in the ground*
Great picture man, like the lighting on everything.
Great picture man, like the lighting on everything.
emperor pre serve us
Wow. There is a beautiful sense of majesty behind that much destruction and I love how you chose to portray it.
Love this piece.
Love this piece.
Клево, цвета приятные!
And now he is thinking " This is the last time I leave the guys alone with a crate of beer"
Хрена себе скетчик
*Зилоная зависть*
*Зилоная зависть*
а че..в самый раз!
2+ часа. Можно быстрее)
2+ часа. Можно быстрее)
"Никто не пришел на мой праздник..."


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realmagick.com The shrine of knowledge.
Dream Dictionary Laughing
A selection of articles related to dream dictionary laughing.
Original articles from our library related to the Dream Dictionary Laughing. See Table of Contents for further available material (downloadable resources) on Dream Dictionary Laughing.
- A History Of Dreaming - From Ancient Egypt To Modern Day
- Dreams have been an important part of the human experince since time immemorial. Fragments of the earliest books come from Egypt, where dreams were considered to be the messages sent from the gods. The Egyptians divided their dreams into three categories: 1....
Parapsychology >> Dreams
- Hulse, David Allen
- >From an early age, David Allen Hulse has made a diligent study of the alphabets of the ancient world. Even as a child, David possessed a great affinity for the alphabets of Egypt, Phoenicia, and Greece. In college, a reading of MacGregor Mathers' Kabbalah...
Real Interviews >> Authors
- Hulse, David Allen
- From an early age, David Allen Hulse has made a diligent study of the alphabets of the ancient world. Even as a child, David possessed a great affinity for the alphabets of Egypt, Phoenicia, and Greece. In college, a reading of MacGregor Mathers' Kabbalah...
Real Interviews >> Authors
- A Treatise on Astral Projection, Part 4: More Rope Techniques
- ROPE is a very effective projection technique, but it still has to be learned to be effective. I would like to elaborate on a couple of points about the technique, inspired by the feedback I have received so far. There is NO visualization required - AT ALL -...
Parapsychology >> Astral Projection
- What does it mean if I have nightmares about being ill?
- According to a report from the Menninger Clinic Detecting cancer in dream content . Horton PC, Child Guidance Clinic for Control Ct., Meriden, CT, USA. A woman was 3 years post mastectomy when she presented a dream whose manifest content suggested a new...
Parapsychology >> Dreams
- Sun Fire Laughing
- At the center of every creation Fire dances, laughing, conjuring, holding the chill of the void at bay. Like both the charmer and the snake, he warms the Earth to jump from its slumber, calling all life to stand and reach for him in the heavens, calling all...
The Elements >> Fire
- King James Bible: Genesis, Chapter 41
- Chapter 41 41:1 And it came to pass at the end of two full years, that Pharaoh dreamed: and, behold, he stood by the river. 41:2 And, behold, there came up out of the river seven well favoured kine and fatfleshed; and they fed in a meadow. 41:3 And, behold,...
Old Testament >> Genesis
Dream Dictionary Laughing is described in multiple online sources, as addition to our editors' articles, see section below for printable documents, Dream Dictionary Laughing books and related discussion.
Suggested Pdf Resources
- Lexicographers' Dreams in the Electronic-Dictionary Age
- subsequent detailed study of electronic-dictionary dreams (}5–6) and for predictions ... without laughing them away as mere science fiction.
- tshwanedje.com
- A Dictionary of Slang Drug Terms, A Dictionary of Slang Drug Terms,
- he purpose of this dictionary of Texas slang drug terms is to help drug counselors Colombian. Combol. Corrine.
- www.tcada.state.tx.us
- The Islamic Cultural Unconscious in the Dreams of a Contemporary
- Jul 8, 2005 One of the basic principles of Islamic dream interpretation is to identify any . Nizar said, laughing, "I don't know how I made it till now without it.
- www.junginstitute.org
- Pay attention to your dreams
- www.cjbecker.com
- Dictionary of Phrase and Fable
- Dictionary of Phrase and Fable. E. COBHAM BREWER FROM ..
- www46.homepage.villanova.edu
Suggested Web Resources
- Dream Moods Dictionary: Words That Begin With L
- www.dreammoods.com
- Laughing Dreams: Dream Dictionary & Dream Interpretation
- What does a dream about laughing mean? To dream that you laugh and feel cheerful, means success in your undertakings, and bright companions...
- www.experienceproject.com
- Dream Interpretation Laughing
- Discover the Dream Interpretation Laughing. Dictionary of dreams including a Dream Interpretation Laughing.
- www.dream-interpretation.org.uk
- Dream Dictionary | SmartGirl
- You are here: Home > Fun Stuff > Dream Dictionary ... To hear evil, demonic laughing in your dream represents feelings of humiliation or helplessness.
- www.smartgirl.org
- Dreamcrowd - Dream Dictionary - laughing
- dreamcrowd.com
Great care has been taken to prepare the information on this page. Elements of the content come from factual and lexical knowledge databases, realmagick.com library and third-party sources. We appreciate your suggestions and comments on further improvements of the site.
Dream Dictionary Laughing Topics
Related searchescyanide appearance and odour
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just william characters
law of attraction goals
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© 2000 - 2016 Realmagick.com, All Rights Reserved.


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Nats Minor Affiliates: Strong starts at the plate and mound
Here is a brief update on each of the Washington Minor League affiliates. The update includes one offensive and one pitcher who are off to strong starts. Syracuse Chiefs (AAA) 5-7 Offensive: Jason Martinson is off to a solid start at AAA. Martinson has had on and off season in the Washington Nationals system. The 2010 draft pick is 26 years-old. He needs a strong season...
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Sign Printer & Accessories
Safety labels and organizational devices range from ANSI and OSHA compliant safety labels to the most unique and customized communications designed to warn everyone in the workplace about potential hazards.
Accuform offers an incredible variety of high quality safety signs and safety labels in virtually every material standard for most applications. Whether it's Property ID Labels, Inventory, Voltage, Wire or Cable Markers, Accuform is overflowing with stock and custom products.We offer a range of portable and versatile safety sign and safety label printers as well as bins, holders and storage labeling systems to organize your workplace or facility.
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Film & Video students produce "The Goodness Project"
April 1, 2014 —
Steve Acito, Film & Video Adjunct Professor, was joined by Film & Video Professor David Schwartz and a crew of nine Film & Video students to direct and produce pro bono an upbeat music video for "The Goodness Project," organized by the Ronald McDonald House of Southern New Jersey to celebrate Camden, NJ. Featuring 12 Camden nonprofits and those served by them, the video is set to musician Pharrell's song "Happy," and was produced by Acito with his company Bluewire Media. Click here to watch the video.
Drexel University, 3141 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, PA 19104 - 215-895-2000
Copyright 2016 - All Rights Reserved.


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Using this on a client's site to display a list of his custom posts in the sidebar. Works like a charm and comes with every display option I could have hoped for. Thank you!
You must log in to submit a review. You can also log in or register using the form near the top of this page.


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FREE SHIPPING on orders of $85 or more
An excerpt from www.HouseOfNames.com archives copyright © 2000 - 2016
Where did the English Poore family come from? What is the English Poore family crest and coat of arms? When did the Poore family first arrive in the United States? Where did the various branches of the family go? What is the Poore family history?The name Poore arrived in England after the Norman Conquest of 1066. The Poore family lived in Devon. Their name, however, is a reference to one of two places, Picardy, France, or Puers, Belgium, either of which could have been the family's place of residence prior to the Norman Conquest of England in 1066. At this time those who gailed from Picardy were referred to as Pohiers, and it was in this form that the name was probably first brought to England.
A multitude of spelling variations characterize Norman surnames. Many variations occurred because Old and Middle English lacked any definite spelling rules. The introduction of Norman French to England also had a pronounced effect, as did the court languages of Latin and French. Therefore, one person was often referred to by several different spellings in a single lifetime. The various spellings include Poor, Poher, Poer, Poore and others.
First found in Devon where they held a family seat from very early times and were granted lands by Duke William of Normandy, their liege Lord, for their distinguished assistance at the Battle of Hastings in 1066 A.D.
This web page shows only a small excerpt of our Poore research. Another 253 words (18 lines of text) covering the years 1100 and 1172 are included under the topic Early Poore History in all our PDF Extended History products.
Another 75 words (5 lines of text) are included under the topic Early Poore Notables in all our PDF Extended History products.
Some of the Poore family moved to Ireland, but this topic is not covered in this excerpt. Another 43 words (3 lines of text) about their life in Ireland is included in all our PDF Extended History products.
Many English families left England, to avoid the chaos of their homeland and migrated to the many British colonies abroad. Although the conditions on the ships were extremely cramped, and some travelers arrived diseased, starving, and destitute, once in the colonies, many of the families prospered and made valuable contributions to the cultures of what would become the United States and Canada. Research into the origins of individual families in North America has revealed records of the immigration of a number of people bearing the name Poore or a variant listed above:
Poore Settlers in United States in the 17th Century
Poore Settlers in United States in the 18th Century
Poore Settlers in United States in the 19th Century
Poore Settlers in Canada in the 19th Century
Poore Settlers in Australia in the 19th Century
Poore Settlers in New Zealand in the 19th Century
The motto was originally a war cry or slogan. Mottoes first began to be shown with arms in the 14th and 15th centuries, but were not in general use until the 17th century. Thus the oldest coats of arms generally do not include a motto. Mottoes seldom form part of the grant of arms: Under most heraldic authorities, a motto is an optional component of the coat of arms, and can be added to or changed at will; many families have chosen not to display a motto.
Motto: Pauper non in spe
Motto Translation: Not poor in hope.
The Poore Family Crest was acquired from the Houseofnames.com archives. The Poore Family Crest was drawn according to heraldic standards based on published blazons. We generally include the oldest published family crest once associated with each surname.
This page was last modified on 25 November 2015 at 09:02.
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Will Samantha luck rub off in K-town?
Actress Samantha Ruth Prabhu is considered very lucky in Tollywood and she is referred as the "Golden Leg" with almost all her movies turning out to be box- office hits.
Last Friday her big Telugu movie Manam is also receiving super hit talk and her winning streak continues.
Now, here comes the Million Dollar question – Will Samantha be a lucky mascot in Tamil too. This year, she is starring in some of the biggest movies in Tamil with Actors Suriya, Vijay and Vikram.
She has Anjaan with Suriya directed by Lingusamy releasing on Independence Day – Aug 15th. Then she has Kaththi with Actor Vijay for Diwali. The movie is directed by AR Murugadoss.
She will be soon starting a new movie with Vikram under Goli Soda fame Vijay Milton.


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Overlooking the stunning waters of Hamilton Harbour sits the Grand Dame of Bermuda resorts, the Hamilton Princess. Here, where history meets modern sensibility, experience Bermuda's only luxury urban resort. Conveniently located in the city of Hamilton, The Fairmont Hamilton Princess features a stunning infinity edge resort pool, a range of luxurious guest rooms and suites, and amazing dining experiences including an open-air casual bar and restaurant located on a new 66-berth marina.
We loved this hotel. It was within walking distance of all the shops and restaurants in Hamilton but offered beach access via the Fairmont ferry. We booked a standard room but they upgraded us to a full suite with a walk out view of the pool. All the staff was very friendly and helpful.
Exceptionally attentive staff, great surroundings. Clean and comfortable.
The hotel was fantastic,with many choices of dining,poolside as well as the in house restaurants were varied and excellent. I cannot say enough about the staff,from the doorman to every desk person to every waiter and service person were the most efficient and friendly that I have ever encountered .It's location was ideal with an serene view to a most accessible location to the city was a bonus
We spent 4 nights, with our adult sons, and just had the nicest, most relaxing time. Loved the option of two pools, one salt-water, both right on the ocean with wonderful views of all the boating activity. The proximity to Hamilton restaurants was great, as we could walk to town any time we wanted. Would definitely return!
All I can say is 'WOW!' We had never stayed at a Fairmont Hotel and were really impressed. We booked this hotel on the Gold level at a AAA rate. It was completely worth it. The Gold level lounge was AMAZING. The common area was elegant and comfortable. We truly felt like royalty. The complimentary drinks, appetizers and breakfast were a nice touch. Andres welcomed us to the hotel at check-in and showed us the ropes. I don't know the name of the girl that was on duty at the gold level concierge at midnight but she couldn't do enough to answer our questions and help us plan for the next day. The grounds are beautiful. The pools are average and probably need updating compared to most resorts today. We went to the Southampton property the next day and were just as impressed. If our experience at this hotel is indicative of all Fairmont hotels, we will absolutely choose a Fairmont hotel whenever possible. We are not easily impressed. This stay was more than we could have expected. Thanks to...
An overall great 4 days at the Hamilton. Have stayed there on other occasions but this time topped them all. Requested and was delighted to get an upgrade to the a newly renovated wing with view of the marina. I expected noise but there was only a minimal amount. The food, as always, was expensive but what can you say, 'IT'S BERMUDA'! Weddings were also abounding...so it added to the holiday atmosphere. I look forward to my next visit and will definitely stay at the Princess.
As with most Fairmount hotels, the Hamilton Princess is aesthetically pleasing, is well maintained, has great service and all the amenities you could want including: indoor/outdoor restaurants and bars, two pools overlooking the harbor--saltwater & freshwater, gym, 9 hole putting green, free private ferry & trolley service to their ocean-front sister hotel, the Fairmount Southampton with beautiful beach, beach cafe, tennis courts, 18 hole golf course and more restaurants. The Hamilton Princess has a great harbor-front location within a few minutes walk to many shops, restaurants, and Ferry terminal (to access other parts of the island) in downtown Hamilton. Food at this hotel's restaurants/cafes was varied and good. Staff was always pleasant and helpful. This hotel location is beautiful, quiet, relaxing, and convenient. No need for anything more.
We were lucky enough to have a newly remodeled room next to the salt water pool. The food was wonderful and the staff was always very pleasent and accommodating without making you feel like a burden. I will definitely be making another trip and staying there!
Great Stay! everything was excellent, will stay there again next trip
Was nice but not much options for food. People are very friendly. A bit pricey
Been at the hotel for 2 days into an 8 day stay and have had to call just to get my bed made and towels changed twice!! Hotel is in a lovely location and has very pretty grounds and nice bar/restaurant facilities, BUT, if you come here expecting a 4 star hotel and service up to that level, you should reassess your lodging choices. Definitely not up to snuff with the rest of the Fairmont brand.
I couldn't check in, even after 1pm. I was given a room that shared a wall with an elevator. Not only could I hear every clang and bang every time the elevator moved, but there was a hold in theTV, a chip in the bathroom mirror, and the bathroom sink faucet screeched like a tea kettle put on boil every time I turned it on. I may expect it of a one star hotel, but not the Fairmont. I was thoroughly disappointed. '
instead of Princess Hamilton...stay at Princess SouthHampton, much more luxurious by far
The Hamilton Princess has a welcoming staff and excellent access to Hamilton. A major disappointment was the quality of maid service in daily room refreshing. The room servicing was inconsistent and below average at best necessitating multiple calls to the front desk for assistance.
What we got was a 2 star room, 3 star service and 4 star prices. It is close to Hamilton and they do let you use the facilities at the Fairmont Southamtpon but if you want to be in Hamilton look elswhere. We did and found better value close by.
For $* per night, I expected the best service and a beautiful, clean room. We were disappointed. No shampoo, no hand soap, no bath mat, broken TV, mishandled dinner reservations, etc. Although the staff made efforts to fix, they couldn't get it right the second time. Never again.


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I'm Not Slowing Down
Winning My Battle with Osteoporosis
Ann Richards, with Richard U. Levine, M.D.
Former Texas governor Ann Richards shares her struggle with osteoporosis in an inspirational, eye-opening book that will help other women to triumph over this debilitating disease.
Dutton, 2003. Second Edition. ISBN 0-525-94691-8. Hard cover, with dust jacket, 5-3/4 x 8-1/2 inches, 188 pages.
Near fine condition.
Under 2 lbs.
Robin's Roost Treasures
Contact us!
PO Box 876Burns, OR 97720United States
Updated Monday, February 08 2016©1995-2016 TIAS.com All rights reserved.


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Of course, if a white teacher is going to teach black kids, she needs to learn how to curse like they do. Here, Professor Martinez is brilliant. He informs us that while whites use the terms "mother" and "brother," blacks often prefer to say "muvah" and "bruvah." Maurice even gives a sample sentence: "My muvah cook grits." But he cautions that when using profanity in conjunction with the "F-word" it is best to pronounce "mother" properly.
Well, I'll be a muvah f----r! I mean, I'll be a mother f-----r!
Maurice, the tenured education professor, also informs students that when using plurals it is not necessary to add an "s" in Black English. That's why a paper costs "50 cent," not "50 cents." Is this making sense? Or do we say "making cent"?
All of this is getting so confusing I'm thinking about taking a trip to the public library to confirm the existence of a thing called "Black English." But Maurice cautions that "library" is a white way of saying things. Blacks say "liberry" – that is, those who speak Black English.
I already knew many words in Black English before I perused Professor Martinez' class notes. For example, I knew "before" was "fo" and "fifty" was "fitty." But I have to admit that I never knew that "corner" was "cornda." Now I can say "Look at that ho on the cornda. I never seen that ho 'fo." The possibilities are endless in the world of multiculturalism and diversity!
But Black English can be used to avoid conflicts, according to Professor Martinez. Specifically, one can help avoid fights if one is aware of certain "fighting words" in Black English. For example, the white teacher should be on guard if she hears "why you trippin'?" or "shut up 'fo I spaz on you." Apparently, that's even worse than when a redneck says "you ain't no count."
But not everything that seems like a clue to a fight really is a clue to a fight. For example, "yeah, he packin'" would seem to mean "he has a gun." But in Black English, according to Professor Martinez' notes, it could just mean "yes, he's well endowed."
When white students are done with their homework, Professor Martinez may decide to ask them "Did you do your homework?" In response, he has taught them the correct Black English answer: "Teacher, I been done did dat."
After sending their kids to study education at UNC-Wilmington, many parents may decide they want their tuition money back. Thankfully, Maurice teaches 18 ways to say "money" in Black English: Book, bread, cake, cash, cheddar, cheese, chump change, coins, crumbs, dough, eagle, fitty, green, jingle, loot, moola, scrilla, and Benjamin.
I recommend that parents, black or white, call UNC-Wilmington and say "I want my chump back, 'cause Professor Martinez is whack!" Or, to make it less personal, they could say "I want my scrilla, 'fo rilla!"
I've always said that within higher education the idiots have taken over the asylum. But, now that I know Black English, I guess I'll just say the dizzy have taken over the hizzie.
Bush mocks Rubio and his fans: Stop whining that it's "unfair" that you're being attacked by another candidate's Super PAC | Allahpundit


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Show me a sore loser, and I'll show you a loser. This has rung in my ears since the election, as I listened to some fellow Republicans and conservatives weeping, whining, and caterwauling. Not to mention griping, blaming, and sulking. Enough already.
Good losers being similarly scorned, who does that leave? Political party animals who rebound from a loss with humility, humor, and honesty. Happy warriors who take a setback in stride, undaunted yet undefensive. Those are the comrades I'll share a shell-shocked foxhole with. The authors of anguished obituaries for America and the GOP need not apply.
For a couple of days after Nov. 6, it's true, I was bluer than the MSNBC presidential map. Then I stumbled on one of those websites, PoliticalDefeatTherapy.com, with a guaranteed offer to dispel the darkness and put you back on daylight time after voters clean your clock. Click, pay, and my Republican Rehab Kit was on the way.
When it came, I was initially disappointed. No Kryptonite to reduce Reid and Pelosi to jello. Not a word about Obama's real birthplace. The envelope contained nothing but three toys – a magnifying glass, a telescope, and a small mirror – plus a pocket edition of the Declaration of Independence and U. S. Constitution. My $19.95 for this?
The instruction sheet - which I read last; typical man – quickly clarified things, however. To get past the superficial "optics" of the Democrats' big victory, it advised, we Republicans can regain clear vision by putting the 2012 results under a magnifier, then scanning history and the future with a spyglass, and then, above all, looking hard at ourselves in the mirror.
But at no point in this perspective-recovering process, the instructions warned, should a shaken GOP entertain the temptation of abandoning its 150-year fidelity to individual liberty and personal responsibility, limited government and rule of law, free enterprise and private property, human rights and moral truth as gifts from God – the principles in America's founding documents – first voiced by my party in behalf of the African slave.
This country doesn't need, in other words, two liberal parties. Nor does it need a quixotic third party, a neo-Confederate secession craze, or a John Galt dropout movement. It needs the Republican party to continue our historically indispensable – and resiliently effective – role as the conservative party for these United States.
Rush Limbaugh defends Rubio's debate answer: He's absolutely right that Obama knows what he's doing | Allahpundit
Time for Team Hillary to break out the gender card for young liberal women who prefer Sanders | Allahpundit


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Download: The 2013 Annual Report and YearbookJune 13th, 2014
Every year we publish an annual report. Does that sound boring? It's not! The facts can be fascinating, and this year we decided to make the report a yearbook, filled with images and information about Rinpoche's activities, as well as the financial reports for the fiscal year 2013.
Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche wrote the following special message to all of us who care about Khyentse Foundation. What wavelength do you want to be on?View Download
Video: DJKR On the Birthplace of His LineageApril 29th, 2014
Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche on the birthplace of his lineage from Khyentse Foundation on Vimeo. The April, 2014 Focus is all about the Khyentse lineage of Rime masters and their locus of activity: Dzongsar Monastery in Derge. In this video, Rinpoche recounts how Dzongsar Khyentse Chokyi Lodro actualized the vision of Jamyang Khyentse Wangpo by establishing…Play Video
Audio: Rinpoche's Losar Message 2014: Part TwoFebruary 28th, 2014
From Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche 28 February, 2014 Buddha's teaching on dependent arising distinguishes him from all others as the supreme expounder of the truth. Once dependent arising has been pointed out to us, it's a truth so blatantly obvious that we wonder how we missed it. Yet in our daily lives, our craving for independence…Play Audio
Video: A Visiting Scholar at U.C. BerkeleyFebruary 24th, 2014
In 2013, KF sponsored Dongsung Shabdrung Rinpoche to take an intensive three-month English language program in India, and then sent him to the University of California at Berkeley as a visiting scholar for the fall semester. Surprisingly, of all the challenges he faced as a visiting scholar at U.C. Berkeley, Rinpoche described his greatest challenge as being the mastery of the art of …Play Video
Video: An Illustrated List: 15 Reasons Rinpoche Loves IndiaJanuary 21st, 2014
We asked Rinpoche to tell us why he loves India and where we should go as pilgrims. Here are his responses and a collection of brilliant images of this most holy land. WE RECOMMEND WATCHING FULL SCREENPlay Video
Slideshow: DKCLI: Modernizing a Traditional ShedraJanuary 21st, 2014
Amelia Chow on transparency and accuracy: In March 2006, with the guidance and encouragement of Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche, Dzongsar Khyentse Chökyi Lodrö Institute in Chauntra, India, formed a management committee that is responsible for the administration and development of the institute. "There has been so much progress at DKCLI since we first started…View Slideshow
Video: Manipa-Buchen: Reviving an Ancient TraditionJanuary 20th, 2014
Many ancient wisdom traditions and lineages are at risk of becoming lost or broken. A little support can go a long way in keeping these traditions alive and intact. KF is encouraging the study and practice of the Manipa-Buchen tradition in Spiti to help in its revival in Ladakh through a grant to Tsewang Dorjey,…Play Video
Slideshow: India Milestones 2001-2014January 7th, 2014
View Slideshow
Video: Khyentse Center at Hamburg UniversityAugust 10th, 2013
Khyentse Center at Hamburg U from Khyentse Foundation on Vimeo.Play Video


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GOLDENSEAL'S "Folklife*Fairs*Festivals" calendar is prepared three to six months in advance of publication. The information was accurate as far as we could determine at the time the magazine went to press. However, it is advisable to check with the organization or event to make certain that the date or location has not been changed. The phone numbers given are all within the West Virginia (304) area code unless otherwise noted. Information for events at West Virginia State Parks and other major festivals is also available by calling 1-800-CALL-WVA. An on-line version of this list, which includes links to many of the events, is posted on our Website at www.wvculture.org/goldenseal/fflist.html
The web links below will open in a new browser window. The Division of Culture and History is not responsible for the content or accuracy of sites not hosted by this agency. Report problem links to the webmaster.
March 13-15 George Washington's Bathtub Celebration
Berkeley Springs (1-800-447-8797) www.berkeleysprings.com
March 14 29th Annual Irish Heritage Festival
Pipestem Resort State Park (466-1800) www.pipestemresort.com
March 14-15 Irish Spring Festival
Ireland (452-8952)
March 20-22 Upper Potomac Spring Dulcimer Festival
Shepherdstown (263-2531) http://upmw.smad.us
March 20-22 16th Annual Sisters Fest
Sistersville (532-8403) www.sistersfest.com
March 21 Festival of Nations
Weirton (479-7266) www.weirtonmuseum.com
March 21-22 W.Va. Maple Syrup Festival
Pickens (924-5096) http://pickenswv.squarespace.com
April 11 67th Annual Quartets on Parade
Wardensville (874-3951)
April 11-12 Wildwater River Festival
Webster Springs (847-2145) www.visitwebsterwv.com
April 12 Lewisburg Chocolate Festival
Lewisburg (1-888-702-1364) http://lewisburgchocolatefestival.com
April 18 Scottish & Celtic Heritage Festival
Parkersburg (488-8009)
April 24-26 23rd Spring Mountain Festival
Petersburg (257-2722) www.gowv.com
April 18 77th Feast of the Ramson
Richwood (846-6790) www.richwoodchamberofcommerce.org
April 25 Helvetia Ramp Dinner
Helvetia (924-6435) www.helvetiawv.com
May 1-5 13th Scottish Heritage Festival & Celtic Gathering
Bridgeport (842-0370) www.northcentralwestvirginiascottishfestival.com
May 2 Cheat River Festival
Albright (329-3621) www.cheat.org
May 2 20th Annual W.Va. Marble Festival
Cairo (740-568-8014) www.magwv.com
May 2 Heritage Farm Spring Festival
Huntington (522-1244) www.heritagefarmmuseum.com
May 2-3 SpringFest
Franklin (358-3884) www.visitpendleton.com
May 2-3 Antique Steam & Gas Engine Show
Point Pleasant (675-5737) www.wvfarmmuseum.org
May 8-9 21st Annual Bluegrass Festival
North Bend State Park (643-2931) www.northbendsp.com
May 9 St. Albans Founders Day
St. Albans (395-0155) www.stalbanshistory.com
May 9-10 Mother's Day Founder's Festival
Webster (265-5549)
May 9-17 73rd W.Va. Strawberry Festival
Buckhannon (472-9036) www.wvstrawberryfestival.com
May 10 107th Observance of Mother's Day
Grafton (265-5549)
May 15-17 Cass Railfan Weekend
Cass Scenic Railroad State Park (456-4300) www.msrlha.org
May 15-17 Siege of Fort Randolph
Point Pleasant (675-7933) www.fortrandolph.org
May 21-23 Three Rivers Festival
Fairmont (366-5084) http://wvthreeriversfestival.org
May 22-24 Webster County Woodchopping Festival
Webster Springs (847-7666) www.visitwebsterwv.com
May 22-24 Dandelion Festival
White Sulphur Springs (536-5060) www.wvdandelionfestival.com
May 22-24 39th Vandalia Gathering
State Capitol Complex/Charleston (558-0162) www.wvculture.org
May 22-25 River City Festival of the Arts
Rowlesburg (329-1240) www.rowlesburg.info
June 4-6 53rd Annual Calhoun County Wood Festival
Grantsville (354-9725)
June 5-6 Pine Bluff Festival
Pine Bluff (592-1189)
June 6 Bramwell Spring Home Tour
Bramwell (248-8381) www.bramwellwv.com/townevents.html
June 6 Mountain Music Festival
Caretta (875-3418) www.bigcreekpeopleinaction.org
June 6 PattyFest
Fairmont (641-2376) www.facebook.com/pattyfest
June 6-7 Steam Weekend
Cass Scenic Railroad State Park (456-4300) www.cassrailroad.com
June 12-13 13th Annual St. Spyridon Greek Festival
Clarksburg (203-2257) www.stspyridon.wv.goarch.org
June 13-14 Ronceverte River Festival
Ronceverte (647-3825)
June 16-20 W.Va. Coal Festival
Madison (369-9118) www.boonecountywv.org
June 18-20 W.Va. Quilt Festival
Summersville (775-5049) www.wvquilters.org
June 18-21 W.Va. State Folk Festival
Glenville (462-5000) www.wvstatefolkfestival.com
June 19-20 Hatfield-McCoy Reunion Festival
Matewan (426-4092) www.facebook.com/hmmarathonfestival
June 19-21 Mid-Ohio Valley Multi-Cultural Festival
Parkersburg (428-5554) www.movmcf.org
June 19-21 Old Central City Days Festival
West Huntington (544-4880) www.oldcentralcity.com
June 19-28 FestivALL
Charleston (470-0489) www.festivallcharleston.com
June 20 W.Va. Day Celebration
Blennerhassett Island Historical State Park (420-4800)
June 24-27 35th Music in the Mountains Bluegrass Festival
Summersville (706-864-7203) http://adamsbluegrass.com
June 26-28 18th Annual Little Levels Heritage Fair
Hillsboro (653-8563) www.littlelevelsheritagefair.com
June 27 South Branch Valley Bluegrass Festival
Romney (822-7300) http://bluegrass.hampshirewv.com
June 27 Shepherdstown Street Fest
Shepherdstown (1-855-787-3383) www.shepherdstownstreetfest.org
July 2-4 Mountain State Art & Craft Fair
Cedar Lakes/Ripley (372-3247) www.msacf.com
July 2-4 Gassaway Days
Gassaway (364-5111) www.braxtonwv.org
July 2-4 25th Annual Point Pleasant Sternwheel Regatta
Point Pleasant (593-2404) www.pointpleasantregatta.org
July 8-12 48th Annual Pioneer Days
Marlinton (799-4452) www.pocahontascountywv.com
July 11 New Deal Festival
Arthurdale (864-3959) www.newdealfestival.org
July 11 22nd Wileyville Homecoming
Wileyville (386-4532)
july 15-18 Durbin Days
Durbin (1-800-336-7009) www.pocahontascountywv.com
July 18-25 71st Annual W.Va. Poultry Festival
Moorefield (530-2725)
July 18-26 Cowen Historical Railroad Festival
Cowen (226-5682) www.visitwebsterwv.com
July 19 Beverly Heritage Days
Beverly (637-7424) www.beverlyheritagecenter.org
July 19-26 65th Mt. State Gospel Singers Convention
Mt. Nebo (622-0546) www.wvgospelsing.com
July 24-26 33rd Upper Ohio Valley Italian Heritage Festival
Wheeling (233-1090) www.italyfest.com
July 25 W.Va. Hot Dog Festival
Huntington (525-7788) www.wvhotdogfestival.com
July 25-August 2 W.Va. State Water Festival
Hinton (466-5332) http://wvstatewaterfestival.wix.com
July 27-August 1 Cherry River Festival
Richwood (846-9114) www.richwoodchamberofcommerce.org
July 29-August 2 Appalachian String Band Music Festival
Camp Washington-Carver/Clifftop (558-0162) www.wvculture.org
July 31-August 2 W.Va. Blackberry Festival
Nutter Fort (622-3206) www.wvblackberry.com
July 31-August 2 W.Va. Peach Festival
Romney (788-0903) https://www.facebook.com/pages/West-Virginia-Peach-Festival/283648491771214
August 7-9 Augusta Heritage Festival
Elkins (637-1209) www.augustaheritagecenter.org
August 9 Mahrajan Lebanese Heritage Festival
Wheeling (233-1688)
August 10-15 Town & Country Days
New Martinsville (455-4275) www.townandcountrydays.org
August 14-16 Jefferson County African American Cultural & Heritage Festival
Ranson (725-9610)
August 14-23 State Fair of West Virginia
Fairlea (645-1090) http://statefairofwv.com
August 26-30 Oak Leaf Festival
Oak Hill (1-800-927-0263) www.oakleaffestival.com
August 28-29 Lemonade Festival
Bluefield (589-0239) www.cityofbluefield.com
August 28-30 Appalachian Festival
Beckley (252-7328) www.appalachianfestival.net
September 4-6 37th W.Va. Italian Heritage Festival
Clarksburg (622-7314) www.wvihf.com
September 4-6 52nd Rowlesburg Labor Day Celebration
Rowlesburg (454-2441) www.rowlesburg.info
September 4-6 Jackson's Mill Jubilee
Weston (269-7328) www.stonewallcountry.com
September 5-6 11th Annual Aunt Jennie Festival
Chief Logan State Park (792-7229) http://www.wvculture.org/museum/MITPmod.html
September 5-6 Holly River Festival
Holly River State Park (493-6353) www.visitwebsterwv.com
September 5-7 Apple Butter Weekend
Blennerhassett Island State Park (420-4800) www.blennerhassettislandstatepark.com
September 10-13 CultureFest 2014
Pipestem (320-8833) www.culturefestwv.com
September 11-12 46th Nicholas County Potato Festival
Summersville (1-866-716-0448) www.nicholascountypotatofestival.com
September 11-13 25th Annual W.Va. Black Heritage Festival
Clarksburg (641-9963) www.wvbhf.com
September 11-13 Hampshire Heritage Fest
Romney (822-3371) www.hampshireheritagefest.com
September 12-13 Helvetia Fair
Helvetia (924-6435) www.helvetiawv.com
September 12-13 Elizabethtown Festival
Moundsville (845-6200) www.wvpentours.com
September 17-19 47th Annual Oil & Gas Festival
Sistersville (652-2939)
September 17-20 Golden Delicious Festival
Clay (651-7353) https://www.facebook.com/#!/clay.applefestival?fref=ts
September 17-20 47th Annual Treasure Mountain Festival
Franklin (358-3298) www.treasuremountainfestival.com
September 19 Charles Town Heritage Festival
Charles Town (725-2311) www.ctheritagefestival.com
September 19-20 Steam Weekend
Cass Scenic Railroad State Park (456-4300) www.cassrailroad.com
September 19-20 Country Roads Festival
Hawks Nest State Park (658-5212) http://newrivergorgecvb.com
September 19-20 Harvest Moon Arts and Crafts Festival
Parkersburg (424-7311) http://www.greaterparkersburg.com/search/event/major
September 19-20 14th Annual Mothman Festival
Point Pleasant (675-9726) www.mothmanfestival.com
September 19-20 Grape Stomping Wine Festival
Summersville (872-7332) www.kirkwood-wine.com
September 24-25 W.Va. Storytelling Festival
Prickett's Fort State Park (363-3030) www.prickettsfort.org
September 24-27 Preston County Buckwheat Festival
Kingwood (379-2203) www.buckwheatfest.com
September 25-27 St. George Greek Orthodox Church Greek Festival
Huntington (522-7890) http://www.stgeorgehwv.org/festival/
September 25-27 Mountain Heritage Arts & Crafts Festival
Shenandoah Junction (725-2055) www.jeffersoncountywvchamber.org/festival
September 25-27 Volcano Days
Waverly (558-1403) www.mountwoodpark.org
September 26 W.Va. Roadkill Cook-Off
Marlinton (799-2509) www.pccocwv.com
September 26-October 4 79th Mountain State Forest Festival
Elkins (636-1824) www.forestfestival.com
October 1-4 W.Va. Pumpkin Festival
Milton (634-5857) www.wvpumpkinpark.com
October 1-4 31st Salem Apple Butter Fest
Salem (782-1518) www.salemapplebutterfestival.com
October 2-3 Huntersville Traditions Day
Huntersville (1-800-336-7009) www.pocahontascountywv.com
October 2-4 Oglebay Fest
Wheeling (243-4000) www.oglebay-resort.com
October 3 Rocket Boys Festival
Beckley (256-1747) www.rocketboysfestival.com
October 3 Southern W.Va. Italian Festival
Bluefield (589-3317)
October 3-4 10th Annual Pumpkin Harvest Festival
Beckley (252-8508) www.bumfs.org
October 3-4 42nd Annual Old-Fashioned Apple Harvest Festival
Burlington (289-6010) www.bumfs.org
October 3-4 Country Fall Festival
Point Pleasant (675-5737) www.wvfarmmuseum.org
October 8-11 W.Va. Black Walnut Festival
Spencer (927-1640)
October 10 20th Annual Bramwell Oktoberfest
Bramwell (248-8004)
October 10 Burgoo Cook-Off
Webster Springs (847-7291) www.visitwebsterwv.com
October 16-19 35th Mountain State Apple Harvest Festival
Martinsburg (263-2500) www.msahf.com
October 17 Bridge Day
Fayetteville (1-800-927-0263) http://officialbridgeday.com
October 17 W.Va. State CCC Museum Jubilee
Mount Clare (622-3304) www.wva-ccc-legacy.org
October 17-18 & October 24-25 Hinton Railroad Days
Hinton (466-3255) www.hintonwva.com/railroaddays.html
October 23-24 Fiddlers Reunion
D&E College/Elkins (637-1209) www.augustaheritagecenter.org
December 12 Feast of the Seven Fishes
Fairmont (366-0468)
GOLDENSEAL requests its readers' help in preparing this listing. If you would like your festival or event to appear in the 2016 "Folklife*Fairs*Festivals," please send us information on the name of the event, dates, location, and the contact person or organization, along with their mailing address, phone number, and Website, if available. We must have this information by January 7, 2016, in order to meet our printing deadline. GOLDENSEAL regrets that, due to space limitations, Fourth of July celebrations are no longer included in this listing.


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News Release
WashPIRG Statement on the Introduction of the Stop Tax Haven Abuse Act
"No company or individual should be able to game the tax system to avoid paying what they legitimately owe. And, yet, establishing shell companies in off-shore havens for the purpose of tax avoidance is becoming more the rule than the exception for at least 83 of the nation's top 100 publicly traded companies.
The Stop Tax Haven Abuse Act is a timely and critically important proposal that seeks to stem flight of capital from this country. The bill will force open and honest accounting of profits. It will put an end to the price and profit shifting that allows companies to engage in such pervasive tax avoidance.
Companies such as GE, Google, Goldman Sachs and dozens of others well-known to most Americans have created hundreds of phantom entities with nothing more than a clever tax attorney and PO Box.
Official estimates on how much we lose in tax revenue are between $70 and $100 billion per year. That's money that is shouldered by average taxpayers either through additional taxes today or additional debt to be paid by the next generation of taxpayers.
These companies benefit from access to our infrastructure, an educated workforce and national security and pay little or nothing for it.
We applaud Senator Levin for putting forth a strong and well-timed proposal. We urge Congress to pass the Stop Tax Havens Abuse Act."
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New iPhone 4 - No Facetime Buttons/Options
Well, the new iPhone has offically launched with today's store release. Naturally, RustyBrick was on hand to get our brand new iPhones. However, at least 2 of us here at the office have had a serious issue when upgrading our old 3G phones to the new iPhone 4.
When you go into a contact, there should be buttons below the phone number like this.
However, when I plugged in my iPhone 4 and restored from the backup of my iPhone 3G, I did NOT get these buttons below my contact. See below!
I have just "fixed" the problem, and I did it without restoring the whole phone! Try these steps in order and hopefully it will work for you!
- Try going into SETTINGS -> PHONE -> FACETIME. Switch it to ON. If it's already ON, switch it OFF and then back to ON. Go back and see if it works.
- Still nothing? Go into SETTINGS->GENERAL->RESET->Reset All Settings. This will wipe your passwords and such. After it's done, go back and see if it works.
- Still no buttons? Go into iTunes and click Restore. Go through all the steps until it begins Downloading the iPhone software. Click the X to cancel the download. Don't worry, it's doesn't delete anything from your phone until it's all done with the iOS download which takes like 20 minutes. Then, go back to your phone and sync it. Then turn on the setting for Facetime back in Step 1.
At this point, my buttons were there and and I was able to both send and receive Facetime calls. Again, this only appears to be an issue for certain 3G/3GS with iOS 4.0 who set up their iPhone not as a new phone, but rahter restored from that 3G/3GS backup. Hopefully this helps. Please report in the comments below and we can help each other through these launch bugs!!


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This is the third time I have reworked this image, will it be the last, who knows. The last two times I have worked on it I haven't been happy, and this time I'm happier with it. I knew when I reworked it the last time that I wouldn't be done with it, so today was the time to do.
So, first of all let's have a look at past attempts.
This one is too saturated, the colours are very nice and warm, but too much. Also, the blurring is way over done. I think this one was done around the time I first started doing processing like this.
This one was a lot better, but there's something about it that I didn't like. It's still a little oversaturated. Though it is getting better, but there is something about it, I don't know a glossiness or something, that just doesn't seem right.
So here is the third attempt at it. After I saw the second one, I thought maybe the second one was the best one, but I like this a lot more, It has a much more antique feel about it. I have desaturated it quite a bit, upped the yellows and a touch of red. I have done the blurring again, but I hope it is a lot more subtle this time.
I have been learning so many new things about Photoshop, it has been fantastic, and now when I look at an image, I think about different things I can do, it is amazing.
Speaking of Changes
I think it is time. I have hinted and said to a few people that I want to start some new work. If I don't find a income stream soon, then I am going to have to get a normal job, and I don't want that. I love doing photography and I want to be able to keep doing it. I do make money from it, but no where near enough.
So, I recently saw some work that has made me realise something, I do want to photograph people, but in a particular way, so I am going to try and do that. I hate portraits of people sitting there looking pretty. I know a lot of people do those, but recently I did some for someone and I didn't know what to do with them.
This is going to mean changes, and what that means for this blog is to be decided. I may stop blogging every day and just do it a few times a week. I don't want to stop altogether, but it does take up an awful lot of time. I had hoped that I could make it work, but it has slowly dawned on me that no it isn't.
So what I am thinking?
I want to keep photographing some of the stuff I do, but I thought, I might start talking about the hassles of trying to start a business, what problems that happen, good things that happen. Of course, not every post, but some. We are just going to have to wait and see what happens.


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Pop Culture
Scandal's Katie Lowes on marriage, plus news from HollywoodBy Gerri Miller
We talk with Scandal's Katie Lowe, plus news on Kate Hudson, Chelsea Handler & Jamie-Lynn Sigler.Go To Pop Culture
Tag Archives: Children
Do Today's Women Understand What/Who Came Before Us?
The first week of September I was privileged to introduce a discussion at Brandeis University between Anita Hill and Letty Cottin Pogrebin about faith, feminism and race. The discussion was framed by Pogrebin's new book, Single Jewish Male Seeking Soul Mate.
Without ruining the book for those who haven't picked it up yet, the main character, Zach, early on in the book promises his mother, a Holocaust survivor that he would marry a Jew and raise Jewish children (you can read more about it here). This promise is made at a young age, before the randomness and magnitude of life has the chance to impact Zach, and he tries to make his choices based on this promise. As you might imagine, it proves difficult and has a long lasting impact on his integrity and morality as the book continues. While the book is heavy with interfaith decision-making, interracial and intercultural issues and a variety of incarnations of feminism, the conversation between these two prolific authors was one devoted largely to generational division.
The question arose, "What do we really owe our parents?"
Pogrebin and Hill spoke not of interfaith or racial concerns when thinking through this question but rather of feminism. Do the women coming of age today understand what and who came before them that enables them to make the choices they make today? What sort of reverence or respect do second wave feminists deserve even if third or even fourth wave feminists make different—or even opposite—decisions about their lives, their bodies or their politics. The questions are easier to ask than answer. While I am no feminist scholar I understand the motivation behind these questions and the concerns, especially in the context of the complex and diverse interfaith population.
We do owe our parents and those who came before us respect, not merely for existing, and perhaps in having a hand in our existence, but also because they want to make the world better for us. We benefit from their hand in the evolution of the world. We benefit from what was bestowed upon us: the values, the cultural and/or religious ideology taught, the opportunities provided whether big or small, the love given.
Now I am not too cockeyed optimistic to understand that far too many people don't have good parents and the evolution of our world has had long reaching negative consequences. But I am not willing to give up and I don't think you are either. So we can respect and revere those on whose shoulders we stand and take up our own mantle of evolution, perhaps righting some wrongs not yet accomplished. For an inspiring look at this topic, see Dr. Ruth Nemzoff's recent piece in the Huffington Post advising the next generation about how to promote feminism.
Zach's life was ruled by what he felt he owed his mother and each of us live with expectations from those who raised us, deserved or not, realistic or not, achieved or not. I spend a fair amount of time counseling parents/grandparents/family members about the expectations they have carried with them for their children, whether it is something they could never accomplish themselves, or a life a bit better than theirs, a higher paying job, security, loving and marrying someone of the same faith background, raising children of that faith, etc. Sometimes children grow up aware of these hopes and dreams, sometimes they aren't verbalized, but all parents have expectations for their children. It's natural, it's expected, and it's what should happen. Inevitably though, each person turns out to want, care about, excel at or love different things. The trick is: How do we mourn the loss of our expectations without asking our children to bear the weight of that loss?
For some it comes easier than others; some expectations are easier to let to go; while others linger like heartbreak. Maybe the question becomes: What do we owe our children?
The world is not perfect and neither are we, but I think we owe our children a chance. A chance to make their own decisions, to trust in their capabilities and the opportunities we provided—the values and heritage we taught. We owe our children the love they need from us, to right past wrongs, to continue that evolution, to find fulfillment in ways we never could have imagined, let alone expected.
And together, we owe ourselves a little bit of hope and faith. Hope that each generation can and will achieve more and faith that this achievement reflects the best of humanity. Hope that each of our rich histories and sense of heritage and culture will endure and faith that we will continue to seek and create relevance in them. Hope that we get what we want and faith that we get what we need.
Please join in this conversation with me, there is so much we learn from one another.
Walk The Talk: Parenting as a Role Model
My kid taught me a good lesson today. I was pulling out of our driveway as the usual flood of people were walking by, oblivious to my own tight morning schedule. I muttered to myself how they should be paying attention to the cars rather than being engrossed in their conversations and that I had a schedule to keep. "Come on, people, move!" I seethed, unaware that my kids heard me. My son proceeded to open the window and yell, "Come on, people, move!" at the passersby. I was mortified! But why? He did nothing wrong. He merely saw me as a model and said aloud what I was too cowardly to share. If I want my kids to be patient, kind people, I need to walk the talk because they are watching my every move.
This aspect of parenthood terrifies me. I want to present my "best self" all of the time and be a model of the values I say I live by. But it is exhausting! I fall short of those expectations on a daily basis, and try to have compassion for myself. But I also want to push myself to walk the talk, to be consistent and live what I preach.
So much of my energy as a parent focuses on my children's behavioral shortcomings, but being a mother has also made me more aware of where I fall short of expectations for my own behavior. When I fail to walk the talk in any aspect of life, they push me to return to my goals, values and expectations. If I tell my kids they should be patient, kind,and express their needs directly rather than passively, but then contradict these values in the way I behave, I might as well have saved my breath. If I want them to respect the rules, how can I explain the instances when I bend them myself? If I hope that they own their mistakes, I need to model that I do that as well. Kids watch, imitate and yes, at times, rebel. But even then, if I have walked the talk, hopefully they will know what I stand for.
Walk the talk goes for religious life as well. The interfaith couples I work with often ask me how they should go about raising Jewish children. My advice is that if you aren't living a Jewish life in any way (and I define that broadly), your kids most likely won't either. If living a life according to certain values and practices is becoming important to you, or was previously more present in your life, this is the time to start exploring or re-exploring it. Couples who are anticipating having children and like the idea of Shabbat often ask me when they should start lighting Shabbat candles. I tell them to begin now. If it becomes meaningful to them, they will transmit those values and sentiments to their children organically if and when they arrive. It will be part of their routine.
If we expect kids to learn how to lead a Jewish service, we had better spend some time in the sanctuary as well. Back when I was a tutor preparing kids to become Bar or
Walking the talk does not just apply to the observance piece of religious life either. I decided early on that if I hoped my children would uphold values of tikkun olam (repairing the world) through volunteerism, I'd better get out there and find time to volunteer, and tell them about why it is so important to me. If I wanted them to be the kind of people who stop when someone is asking for food, I'd better model doing that as well. I want to be careful that I am not trying to fulfill my own hopes for an ideal life—or resolving my own shortcomings—through my kids. I don't want to be the kind of parent who thinks she can live vicariously through them, pinning hopes on what they become that I can't live up to myself.
Sometimes doing things primarily for the benefit of children is just fine. But how much more powerful and resonant are those spiritual practices or ideas if the adults modeling them are experiencing them for themselves as well and, hopefully, discovering deep meaning in them?
This approach requires more from us. It means we have to spend some time thinking about why we are interested in a religious or spiritual path, ritual or teaching, and we have to examine what it means to us. And when partners come from different backgrounds, we need to take the time to figure out how practices or ideologies match our shared values as a couple and how it feels to bring those ideas into our families. We need to see ourselves as modeling behavior, belief or practice—which can be terrifying, especially when we worry that we aren't good models. But we don't need to have it all figured out; each of us is a work in progress. If we are exploring and struggling, walking our own talk, we are the best of models.
Where is Your 3rd Space?
I spend a lot of time at Starbucks. All different Starbucks locations. Lately, I have been seeing signs about it being a "Third Place in our daily lives." We have our work places, our homes and we have the coffee shop. I think for lot of people, walking into Starbucks is comforting and familiar. The smells, the furniture, the vibe, the culture there, the drinks—we know what to expect and it feels good.
At our recent InterfaithFamily/Chicago event, Barbara Mahany read from her new book, Slowing Time. She talked about how children raised with both Judaism and Catholicism in their lives often understand the in-between spaces of life. They relate to the grays, to nuance, to ambiguity and discrepancy and can hold multiple identities and ideas in one intact soul and psyche. They don't practice a new religion or a Jewish-Catholic blend. Rather, they hold both traditions in their hearts and minds. They keep them separate and draw from each at different times. They experience both. They understand about both of their parent's backgrounds. In a way, this is a third place for Judaism and Christianity.
I have heard some people refer to the interfaith schools that exist around the country where families with one Christian parent and one Jewish parent come to learn and worship with the intent to raise their children as "both" as being Third Spaces. These communities aren't synagogues or churches but have elements of both and clergy from both.
At a recent teaching session at one of Chicago's interfaith programs, the parents asked me whether any liberal synagogues could open their doors to families raising their children "both." Could synagogues have a track for these families where they have a certain membership level knowing that the children wouldn't use the religious school? These families could send their children to mid-week Hebrew school and of course become part of the community on Shabbat and holidays, during social justice pursuits and on retreats. These children would have a sacred space to mark the first time they read from the Torah scroll, which is often very important to their families.
In order for this to happen, congregations would have to accept and appreciate families who want Judaism in their lives in this way. They would have to accept that everyone's Jewish expression looks different and that every family configuration is different. These families who want both religions in their lives are often very thoughtful about faith and traditions and eager learners and worship regulars.
I think if synagogues could find their way toward working with and hearing families who want Judaism in their lives in authentic ways but who also need to have the children learn about and experience the other parent's faith, it will enhance the community. Struggling to understand and define the boundaries of "in" and "out" will help us all clarify our path, our fears and hopes and our vulnerabilities. Having a community of diverse practices under a shared tent of united desire to see Judaism continue and flourish is good for all of us.
For some, the synagogue or being with their community is a third space in importance next to their home and their office. For others, it falls farther down their line of places they frequent (perhaps after Starbucks). Do you think the Jewish world can or should find space for families who see religion in a third way? Not as just Jewish or just Catholic but as something more fluid?
Should Religious School Be On Saturday?
This blog post arose after a conversation about the challenges for interfaith families in which one parent is a practicing Christian trying to raise Jewish children. We were speaking about many hot topics including:
So, here are my top five reasons for congregations to consider the idea of holding religious and Hebrew education on Shabbat morning given how many interfaith families are now in Jewish life. This switch of days could help with some of the above challenges.
God and The Tooth Fairy
My 7-year-old lost another tooth last night. Since we have been through many of these over the last couple of years, the two of us agreed to put aside any pretention that it would end up under his pillow. He is a non-believer and finds the story of the tooth fairy to be the most ridiculous of all of the farces adults tell children. From an early age, he dismissed anything beyond his definition of "real" as utterly ridiculous. Since my partner and I have agreed to tell our kids the truth when they ask directly for it (lest they grow up not trusting us), we let him know from early on that his suspicions were correct about the incredulity of these tales. The one rule is that he isn't allowed to go to school and burst someone else's bubble.
My 9-year-old, on the other hand, has a more complicated relationship with reality. For years, he has regaled us with stories rivaled only by Dr. Seuss' I Saw it on Mulberry Street. Tales would begin in our sphere of reality but end in a fantastical world. We were never quite sure if he knew where the line was between fiction and non-fiction, and only now that he is older does he sometimes fess up to knowing the difference.
Our elder child recently came up with a way to distinguish his penchant for fantasy from his brother's realism. Some people, he explains, are "myth blind" and some are not. Some are able to see past everyday reality while others just can't—it is part of their nature. Both kids seem satisfied with the terminology, and quite out of character, they don't seem to preference one above the other.
This conversation in our home is juicy enough that the kids reintroduce it periodically, adding on layers and meanings. Recently, this category was stretched to include one's proclivity to believing in God. The "myth blind" child sees himself as an atheist, and easily links not believing in the tooth fairy, Easter bunny, or Santa with not believing there is such a thing as God. The one who is not "myth blind" remains intrigued by theology and asks lots of questions about God. They have also surmised that one of their parents seems to be myth blind while the other is not. This observation is astute, and we don't mind being included in this categorization.
As the "not myth-blind" parent, I have to confess that I like the sound of this category. It goes beyond the usual definition of a believer being one who is somehow able to suspend reality, as if the rational mind is just waiting to pounce, bringing us back to our senses. One who is not myth blind sees another layer of reality and is not terrified by it. To be not "myth blind" does not necessarily mean you believe, he explains. It simply implies that you are open to the idea. Furthermore, his use of the word "myth" acknowledges that whether or not the story is "True" is inconsequential. It is, in fact, more important than "True": it is real, it is powerful.
There is a Jewish mystical concept that while we are living in the "real" world every day, there is another layer of reality beneath it or beyond it. Sometimes we get a peek, usually just a fleeting moment, when we see that there is something more real beyond the particulars of our daily lives. Our material world is dressed in the colors, human structures,and natural world we see around us. But there are moments in our lives when a veil of sorts is lifted and we see that there is something else, something deeper. This can happen during meditation when everything "real" can seem to disappear for a moment, or when the body is being supported by a yoga mat at the end of a practice and feels like it is suspended and weightless. Or when you're watching your kids grow and it seems like no time has passed, and simultaneously that eons have elapsed, crunching and expanding time in ways our minds can't understand. It can happen when we gaze at the stars and feel the concept of space and time changing as we try to picture what "everything" really entails. I think that not being myth blind is about being able to lift the veil for a moment, experiencing another way of seeing the universe.
I don't need my kids to believe in the tooth fairy. I don't think I did, even as I carefully placed my teeth in a special white tooth-sized pillow someone gave me. I commend my 7-year-old for being confident and bold enough to come to his own conclusions and challenge what he hears around him. But someday both kids will learn that most of us would place ourselves somewhere between these poles rather than identifying wholly with one category or the other, seeing the nuance and challenge of complex philosophical ideas. For now, it's an interesting way to start to make sense of their stories in relation to who they are becoming. I do hope that as they grow up they will be critical, but also that they might feel comfortable stretching their minds and being open to mystery.
Finding Common Ground When You Have Different Backgrounds
Often couples come from different backgrounds and it can be difficult to find common ground. But usually, if people have similar value systems, couples can work out compromises in their relationship. There are a variety of differences that affect a relationship. These differences make life interesting but sometimes differences cause conflict (and hopefully resolution). My family often says "That's why there are so many different flavors of ice cream!" Here is an overview about some of the types of differences couples may face.
Religious Differences: In my large family, each of us siblings observe our religion in a different way. Many people remark that they can't believe we were raised in the same house. As each of us has gotten married, we have evolved so that we have similar practices to our spouses. In fact, now that our society moves around so much more than people did 50 years ago, it makes sense that altering one's religious practices to suit our spouse is the norm, not the exception. Indeed, the proximity to one's parents may affect the level of practice. For example, if you are hundreds of miles from your parents but around the corner from your in-laws, your household's religious practices are likely to evolve toward the practice of your in-laws. Sharing holidays with extended family is going to change your practices as well.
I remember my brother saying that his decisions should not be affected by the decisions of his brother-in-law. The reality is that once the in-laws moved to the same city, celebrations were modified. He adjusted and the family holidays look a bit different. I think my brother's anticipation of what potential modifications might be was much scarier than the reality. I once told my kids I didn't just marry Daddy, I married his whole family: his mom, his sister, his dad. If you have any concerns about your future in-laws, think carefully. Especially if kids are in the picture, any differences are magnified.
Geographic Differences: Being from different parts of the country can be another area where a couple needs to find compromise. East Coast, West Coast, Northeast, Deep South—finding common ground can be challenging in this area as well. As a Southerner, I have lived in the Northeast most of my adult life. Yet, during a recent cold snap, I mentioned that I wished I lived in the South. A friend commented, "Shouldn't you be used to the cold by now?" I responded, "I guess the novelty has worn off." Celebrating Christmas or Hanukkah in a snowy climate when you are used to never wearing a coat can be an adjustment. Similar adjustments include city vs. suburbs vs. rural living. My husband loves the city and I would be quite happy living in a rural environment. Suburb is the obvious compromise but not all issues can be resolved as easily.
Nationality Differences: For one couple in my extended family, the parents were from Europe and the daughter was born in Israel. She moved to the U.S. when she was a child but always called herself an Israeli. Her parents always referred to themselves as European. She married an American but always made comments referring to her Israeli pride. I think that this difference was a point of contention for the woman and her husband. Attitudes, manners, celebrations were always an issue for them. Both partners were Jewish but the nationality differences were a struggle for them. Ultimately, the couple divorced for a variety of reasons but nationality differences definitely caused some of their disagreement.
Cultural Differences: Some families have a sit-down dinner every night. Other families never eat together because the parents are always working. Some families believe that there should be a stay-at-home parent while other families prefer a live-in caretaker. Differences of opinion regarding parochial school or public school or even boarding school can exist in the same family. Some issues such as school can be worked out with relative ease but other issues can be a huge hurdle in a relationship. Do both partners intend to work? Do you believe in daycare or nannies or neither? Differences in attitudes can rise up. If one parent stays home for a while, will there be resentment? If one parent travels for work, will there be resentment?
Financial Differences: Some people like to spend money, others like to save it. If one partner wants to travel to the Caribbean every winter but the financial situation does not allow for that, there should be some discussion. Does one partner want to eat out four nights a week at a sit-down restaurant? Do you agree on savings? Financial issues can be a major point of contention after several years of marriage. It is important to discuss what you and your partner expect regarding savings and debt. Don't be afraid to disagree, but do have these discussions.
While you are dating, "what if" scenarios are helpful (but not binding because circumstances always change). It is good to discuss these issues to assess whether you and your partner can compromise. As they say, "Vive La Différence!" but keep your eyes open. You should be thinking like a team. If you find that you are feeling "alone" in your thinking, it might be good to seek counseling. Entering a marriage with confidence is paramount.
Three Terms I Hope Not to Hear in the New Year
As the new year approaches, I've been thinking back over the past year—particularly about certain terms I've heard used in 2014 that bother me. Following are three terms I hope to hear less of in 2015.
NON-JEW: While "non-Jew" is an easy short-hand term and it's clear what it means, this term can be offensive. Most people prefer to be described in the positive as what they ARE, rather than in the negative as what they're NOT. For example, I identify as a "female," not a "non-male;" and in my family I'm a "wife and mother," not a "non-husband and non-father." At InterfaithFamily, we're concerned that when people in the Jewish community talk about "non-Jews" in interfaith relationships, it sends the message—even if it's interpreted subconsciously—that the person who isn't Jewish is somehow "less than" by defining that person with an emphasis on his or her "outsider" status.
Granted, not using the term "non-Jew" can sometimes cause us to have to do some linguistic gymnastics, but I think it's better to sound a little wordy and awkward than to potentially offend someone. So far, I don't know of an ideal term to describe someone who isn't Jewish. One suggestion I've heard is PDF ("person of a different faith"), but that term has its own limitations in that the partner who isn't Jewish may not identify as part of another religious group, or may be an atheist of agnostic who doesn't have a "faith." Do you have any suggestions?
And for the record, I'd love to never again hear terms like shiksa and goy. These terms, which simply mean, respectively, "a woman who is not Jewish" and "people who are not Jewish," are too often used by Jews in a pejorative manner.
HALF-JEW: I used to really dislike this term no matter what the context in which it was used. But now I've come to see a difference between using it to define oneself and using it to define someone else. Before I worked for InterfaithFamily, if I were teaching a religious school class at a synagogue and a boy with one Jewish parent told me that he was "half-Jewish" I would probably have said something like: "You're fully Jewish. Just because one of your parents isn't Jewish doesn't make you 'half-Jewish.'" (If the boy were older, I may even have joked: "which half, left or right?") But as my colleague Rabbi Ari Moffic, Director of InterfaithFamily/Chicago, pointed out to me when I came to work here, people have the right to self-identify, and if someone identifies as "half-Jewish" it's not my place to tell him otherwise.
While I may have a tendency to want the boy in my religious school class to feel "whole" and to know that he is "authentically" Jewish even if one of his parents isn't Jewish, identity is complex. There are many things that a child (or, for that matter, an adult) could mean when he says that he's "half-Jewish." Perhaps that's his way of saying that he loves and identifies strongly with his parent who is not Jewish and that parent's family. It's not my place to tell him that the way he self-identifies is wrong.
Yet while I now wouldn't "correct" someone who identifies herself as "half-Jewish" because of her right to identify as she chooses, I do find it offensive when people label others as "half-Jewish." In my—admittedly liberal—understanding of Judaism, a person with a Jewish parent is Jewish, regardless of the gender of her Jewish parent. (I recognize that this view, which is consistent with the views of the Reform and Reconstructionist Movements, is inconsistent with traditional Halacha (Jewish law), and is not accepted by the Conservative Movement and Orthodox Jews, who require that a child's mother must be Jewish in order for the child to be Jewish without being converted.) And such a person is as "fully Jewish" as any person with two Jewish parents. Labelling someone a "half-Jew" can be very hurtful to them (see, for example, Zach Cohen's blog "Don't Call Me a Half-Jew") and risks alienating children in interfaith families from their Jewish roots.
Which brings me to the third term I don't like…
PATRILINEAL JEW: Traditional Jewish law requires that a person's mother be Jewish in order for him to be Jewish without converting. But for years now the Reform, Reconstructionist and Humanist Movements have recognized "patrilineal descent" (i.e. a child with one Jewish parent, regardless of the parent's gender, is Jewish so long as certain other criteria are met). CLICK HERE for an explanation of "Who is a Jew?"
Nobody ever refers to someone whose mother is Jewish and whose father isn't Jewish as a "matrilineal Jew"—such a person is simply a "Jew." Similarly, those of us who accept patrilineal descent shouldn't refer to someone whose father is Jewish (or who is being raised by two fathers, for that matter) as a "patrilineal Jew." The modifier "patrilineal" is unnecessary, and implies that having a Jewish father, as opposed to a Jewish mother, somehow puts one into a different, less authentic, category of Jewishness.
My hope for 2015 is that we can all spend more time focusing on our own religious and spiritual lives…and a LOT less time worrying about defining everyone else's.
Are there terms that you'd like to leave behind in 2014? I'd love to hear what they are.
A Hanukkah Giving Ritual Takes the Competition Out of The Season
Years ago, I struggled with how I was going to do Hanukkah in our home. Christmas was already set. We visit my partner's parents who aren't Jewish for the holiday season. I tell our kids, as many Jewish parents in interfaith relationships do, that we are helping their grandparents celebrate Christmas. It may sound a little weak but it is really true. Their grandparents would be sad to not have family around their tree, as would my partner. And our Jewish kids love getting a taste of Christmas even though they know it's not "our" holiday.
But what to do about Hanukkah? This still posed a problem. My kids come to expect presents for Christmas, and I didn't want them to receive too much at this time of year. Did they really need the eight nights of presents I grew up with if they were about to receive mounds of gifts a few weeks later? And what if the holidays overlapped? It would send a message of overabundance I try to temper all year long and would feel antithetical to the values I'm trying to instill.
I also didn't want to fall into the trap of pitting the two holidays against each other. When Hanukkah and Christmas compete, Hanukkah loses every time. It is a minor Jewish holiday only made grand here in the United States by its proximity to Christmas. I'm not a fan of lifting it up in importance to make a point. Instead, in our family, we expend that energy by celebrating the more important Jewish holidays and Shabbat year round.
So the question remained: What would I want my kids to associate with Hanukkah as they grow up?
The answer came to me one year when I was doing my end-of-year philanthropic donations. I thought about the proximity of Hanukkah and the symbol of gelt, and the larger societal messages about December as a time of giving. As I waded through the mail, I recalled the piles of leaflets on my kitchen table growing up and how much I learned from my parents teaching me about the organizations they support. The timing was perfect! I decided to make Hanukkah into a holiday of giving—not receiving. In the glow of the Hanukkah candles, I taught my kids that tzedakah comes from the Hebrew root meaning "justice" and that philanthropic giving is a way we can help bring justice to the world. At their ages, they loved the idea that life could be fairer.
I gathered all of the leaflets we received from organizations and asked the kids what they thought. Which communities would they want to support? What makes them upset as they look around their world, from natural disasters to homelessness to our treatment of the environment? We poked around online as they thought about people who had had a particularly rough year. I told them how much we had to give, and asked them to make the tough choices about how to divide it up. Do we give a lot to a few places and really make an impact? Or give a little to many organizations so they know we care about them? Each year as they grow in maturity, I give them new problems to solve. Now, we put coins in a tzedakah box throughout the year before lighting candles on Friday night and they know that this money will also go to the Hanukkah giving pot.
Their choices have evolved over time. The first time we did this, they were excited about Sesame Workshop because bright red Elmo was (wisely) featured on the organization's envelope. Next was their Jewish summer camp that suffered fire damage. Then we tackled the question of whether to give to local food banks or to hunger advocacy organizations trying to stamp out poverty from the top down. Would they rather support people in their neighborhood, in other regions of the country or the elsewhere in the world? The year DOMA was struck down, we discussed giving to Lambda Legal, an organization defending cases for the LGBT community. As they become more concerned about the environment, we have looked for organizations that address their concerns. This year, we will add to the list the importance of InterfaithFamily, helping families like ours navigate the holidays! (Yes, that was a not-so-subtle plug!) There is so much to do that it easily lasts eight nights.
Who knows what messages my kids will take away from the holiday season as they grow up? What will Christmas represent? What will they remember most about Hanukkah? I hope that by consciously highlighting tzedakah as a specific value, they will take the best from both of the December holidays that are part of their lives.
For more tzedakah Hanukkah ideas, check out these ideas from the URJ. And for more Hanukkah resources for families, go here.
The Real Menshes on Benches
I met two menshes on benches the Friday of Thanksgiving. You may now have the image of the Mensch on the Bench Hanukkah toy, but unlike this stuffed elf counterpart, these were true mensches.
One of the rules for this toy is that a "true mensch is one who puts smiles on other peoples' faces." The word mensch is Yiddish for human being. It means to be a true human; to live up to the depths of kindness, generosity, integrity and love that a human can muster. The two mensches I met put a smile on my face for sure.
My parents moved to Philadelphia over the summer from Boston to be near my youngest brother and his family. They joined Congregation Rodef Shalom which is near where they live. They joined because they had heard the synagogue was an architectural gem, which it is, that the clergy are accessible and warm, that the preaching and teaching is intellectually stimulating and that the worship is full of music and joy. As soon as they joined, another synagogue family called them and invited them out to dinner (which my parents were thrilled about since they don't have any friends there yet). The synagogue staff greeted my parents at the door for several weeks after they moved to welcome them in and make sure they were getting acclimated. My parents were immediately swept off their feet with the ruach—the spirit—of the service. They kept telling me what a wonderful community this is. They love that each week there is a Shehecheyanu prayer sung after those in attendance share the good news that is happening in their lives.
My family and I were visiting for Thanksgiving and my parents were so excited and proud to take us to their new temple. Well, my 5 and 7-year-old are not well behaved in synagogue. You might be surprised considering my husband is a pulpit rabbi and they go to synagogue a lot. My children are high energy, antsy, loud and boisterous. They get thirsty and have to pee a lot during services which requires them to go in and out of the sanctuary. They whine. They get hungry. No matter how many little activities and small snacks I bring, we have not fully mastered the art of sitting respectfully in synagogue with a "calm body" as we like to say.
On this Friday night, they were exhausted which mellowed them a little. But, my youngest ate through the whole hour long service (I so appreciated that the service was one hour including a Torah reading and short sermon). This synagogue has a quiet room where you can hear the service but people can't hear us. However, we braved the actual sanctuary because my parents wanted the kids to try to fully participate. Wouldn't you know, they did (sort of). When the time came to share a Shehecheyanu moment, my 5-year-old raised his hand for the microphone and said, "I am visiting my grandma and papa" which just made my parents kvell (swell with pride) and everyone in the community ooh and ahh with his cuteness.
During the Lecha Dodi prayer, they form a dancing chain and my children joined right in! The Rabbi made sure to welcome us specifically at the start of the service as well and he called my children up for the honor of helping to undress the Torah. Actively participating definitely helps one stay engaged, no matter how old you are. But, my kids were not perfect during that hour by any stretch of the imagination. There was a trail of popcorn under our seats to prove it.
After the service the two women sitting right behind us (on actual pews/benches) said, "Your children were such a delight. We loved their energy. We loved their dancing. They are so beautiful. What a joy to have you visiting." They didn't say, "Next time, you could try the Quiet Room." Their response made me smile. It warmed my heart. It took a load off. I had been wondering how annoyed they would be sitting right behind us. It made me want to come back again. I told you I met two menshes on benches! They embodied what it means to be gracious, welcoming and empathetic.
It's Like Miso Soup!
Rabbi Ari is the Director of InterfaithFamily/Chicago. She also has children who will not eat matzah ball soup or a bagel and lox and is continually surprised and dismayed at their culinary preferences. She was inspired by this story because of how culturally astute the grandparents were to how their grandchildren were being raised and how quickly they made a bridge between the familiar to the new and exotic (the world of the matzah ball!).
A woman recently told me the story of her grandchildren who live out of state and aren't being raised Jewish.* They come to visit for a week each summer. This past summer they went right from the airport to the deli. Not that there isn't Jewish deli where these kids live, but the grandparents wanted the experience of eating Jewish foods with their grandchildren at one of their favorite spots. This is one way they share their love of Jewish culture with their grandchildren.
These grandchildren have been raised on sushi and other international cuisine. When the youngest grandson looked at his bowl of matzah ball soup, he did not want to eat it. He said that he is used to more "normal" food (like sushi!). The grandparent telling the story said that her husband turned to the grandchild without missing a beat and said, "It's just like miso soup…" and the child dove in. Once that broth touched his lips, he was sold! He even liked the matzah ball.
We at InterfaithFamily/Chicago are partners with the JUF (our Federation) and Grandparents for Social Action on a new program for grandparents called GIFTS: Grandparents, Inspiration, Family, Tzedakah, Sharing. We are offering a five-session class at 15 congregations and Jewish organizations around Chicagoland taking place now through the spring (to find a class, go to www.juf.org/gifts).
The classes consist of interactive lessons about how grandparents can pass on their values and deepen their engagement with their grandchildren. The fifth session is specifically geared toward talking about grandchildren raised in interfaith homes as well as any family situation that you might not have planned for or anticipated. The session is called "Changing our Narrative" and it is a hopeful session about what continuity means to us.
We just had a meeting for grandparents who are alumni of the classes that were offered this past year to talk about how to improve the program and to help plan an exciting city-wide Grandparent Conference to take place this spring (more information to come). One of the grandparents shared that fantastic story with me.
Our kids and grandkids have different cultural references than we have. They are growing up on different foods, their "normal" is nothing like what our life was like at their age and we have to constantly translate for ourselves and them as we bond and communicate. Is eating matzah ball soup with Jewish grandparents going to make these children Jewish? That's not the point or the goal here. Feeling closeness, sharing our soul food, hearing the names of the foods in Yiddish, making connections, expanding one's repertoire and experiences and creating memories of things only done with one's grandparents is meaningful, impactful and important. Who these kids will be will happen over time. The closeness they feel with loving, open-minded, insightful, aware grandparents who know what their lives are like and who are willing to translate and help them relate to new things is priceless.
*We often hear this phrase. It means different things to different people who say it. For some it means that the family isn't a member of a synagogue. For others it means that the parents do not articulate that the children are being raised with a Jewish identity—the parents want to raise them without specific religious references. Some say it means that the children are being raised "nothing." This is one I particularly dislike as many children who are not raised with Jewish holidays or going to synagogue are raised with lots—not nothing—when it comes to values, for example. "Nothing" portrays such an empty, void and negative image.
Surprisingly, many children whose parents did not participate in Judaism and Jewish living affirm their Jewish identity as adults and seek avenues for engagement then because of relationships with grandparents, and other connections made along the way. Just knowing the cultural and religious heritage they inherited, even if it has been latent for some time, may mean something to one's identity.
So, when you read or hear that children aren't being raised Jewish, it is often an overly simplistic statement that may not capture a whole picture. As well, it hints at but doesn't fully capture where the parents may be with their own religiosity, spirituality or communal ties. The parents' own background and Jewish baggage may be coming in to play here and it may be complicated and messy in terms of how to raise children. Or, it may be that the parents are just not religiously, culturally or communally inclined even in the most open senses of Jewish expression. It's not their thing, but it's in their family and so a confrontation (whether warm and inviting or stressful) with Judaism occurs every now and then for their family.