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A lifelong horse lover and equestrian, Kitson writes regularly for Horse Illustrated and Young Rider. She has written for the USEF Equestrian and Chronicle of the Horse. She regularly contributes to dog magazines including Dog Fancy, Popular Puppies, Rescue Me! and Natural Dog, as well as children's magazines like American Girl and National Geographic Kids. She also contributes to the Washington Post's KidsPost. She writes children's books for National Geographic Kids and Boys Camp Books. Kitson lives in Washington, DC with her husband, their two sons, two know-it-all German Shepherds and one very tolerant cat. Her horses live nearby in Potomac, MD. Read more about Kitson at www.kitsonjazynka.com. See full bio >>
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
War Horse
This morning, Veteran's Day, I saw a picture on Facebook that honored the 8 million horses that died during World War I. The blurry, black and white image took me back a few years to seeing the play War Horse on Broadway. It was such a thrill to "meet" those heroic horses up close and interview a few of the actors backstage.
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Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Interview with Mitch Borenstein
In 2009, author, horse trainer and attorney Mitch Borenstein met an "unfixable" horse that changed his life and challenged what he knew after 20 years of experience fixing the unfixable. He recently wrote a book, Last Chance Mustang, about the wild American mustang, Samson, and the twists, turns, and harrowing moments of their relationship, along with the hope that shined through as his friendship with the abused horse developed.
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Friday, October 23, 2015
A Tribute to a Noble and Beloved Horse
Back in 2011, I interviewed Grand Prix dressage rider Jean Kaplan Thornton about her four-in-hand team of dazzling golden American Warmbloods. I was writing about the breed, but our conversation started with a story about her treasured Lipizzan stallion, Conversano II Aloha II, or "Lou" for short.
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Friday, October 16, 2015
Update on Dreamer's Faith
A sad update from Chincoteague on the fate of the foal named Dreamer's Faith. On October 14, the Chincoteague Police Department reported that the body of the little filly was found in an overgrown corner of a corral on the fire department's carnival grounds. A lawn maintenance contractor found her in a corner where she seemed to have been fatally tangled. An accidental death, not a theft after all.
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Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Interview with Equine Photographer Shelley Paulson
A couple weeks ago a friend and I set out to the farm where our horses live, cameras in tow. Our mission was to end up with some nice sunset shots of each of us and our horse. Our first mistake (aside from not hiring a professional photographer in the first place) was bringing our kids with us. Our second mistake was rushing, thanks to mistake number one. We got some OK shots, but are currently planning a redo. The experience made me wonder what makes the magic of a great photo.
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Monday, October 5, 2015
How Did They Train the Ponies in That Horseware Ireland Ad?
Get a behind-the-scenes look at this viral video starring a team of Connemara Ponies.
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Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Meet Moose
I love following the happenings at Warm Springs Ranch, the 300-acre breeding farm in central Missouri where baby Budweiser Clydesdales are foaled. This year, the farm has had more than 20 foals born. They have two foaling cycles – spring and fall – to avoid the summer heat.
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Friday, September 18, 2015
Chincoteague Foal Stolen – Please Share!
Late last night the Chincoteague Volunteer Fire Department announced via Facebook that they are investigating the disappearance of a 2015 Chincoteague "buy back" foal. Dreamer's Faith was taken from the corral area at the Chincoteague carnival grounds either Sept 6th or 7th. The Chincoteague Police Department is leading the investigation and numerous other law enforcement agencies in several states are investigating. They are offering a $1,000 reward for any information that leads to the arrest and conviction of the people involved.
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Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Sweat Scraper Soulmate
Have you ever developed an unreasonable attachment to a piece of grooming equipment? If yes, then you'll know how I feel about my old sweat scraper.
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Friday, August 28, 2015
Thursday Teeth Floating for Quest and Rio
By now you must have heard about Quest and Rio, the emaciated horses rescued with awful hoof neglect this month in Maryland by Days End Farm Horse Rescue. The horses each had more than three feet of excess hoof growth and had been locked in a stall for at least 15 years. The story has made national and international news (even made Animal Planet), but here in my neck of the woods, this is a local story.
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Friday, August 28, 2015
Surfer Dude's Legacy
When the famous Chincoteague pony Surfer Dude, died this spring, the stallion's passing made national news. His legacy lived on this year at the 90th annual swim as his offspring made history at the July auction that follows the swim. One of the late stallion's foals, a black filly with a white face and two blue eyes, sold for $25,000. It was a record sale that will benefit the Chincoteague Volunteer Fire Department, the organization who manages the herd and organizes the swim every year.
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Thursday, July 30, 2015
Chincoteague Pony Swim
Getting to see the ponies swim at the annual Chincoteague Pony Swim is a dream that involves a bit of patience. When the day finally arrives and you've made your way to Chincoteague, across the bridge, down Main Street and (very the next morning) early all the way the a pier that looks across the channel, the muggy air hangs heavy hour after sunny hour with one question: when will the ponies swim?
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Thursday, July 23, 2015
Horses on Vieques Island
While on a visit to this arid, beachy paradise called Isla de Vieques, I've had way more beach time and daiquiris than Internet connection or even a pen and paper. But I have had my camera handy. In between pictures of white sand, turquoise inlets, wild sea turtles and kids in flippers and bathing suits, I've taken a lot of pictures of the island horses that roam around.
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Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Pony, Meet Muzzle
For the last few years, poor Chico has been condemned to a dry lot during the lush Maryland springtime. He gets too fat on pasture and that's that. This year, we tried a grazing muzzle at the suggestion of his trusty vet, Dr. Pete O'Halloran. It's been a great success.
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Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Donna Barton Brothers
Recently I had the pleasure of talking horses with NBC Sports horse-racing reporter Donna Barton Brothers. You might have read about her this spring here on HorseChannel. On Friday, an essay she wrote about the emotional side of reporting on this year's Triple Crown appeared in the New York Times. It was a really moving piece.
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Thursday, June 11, 2015
Evening Edition
When I was pregnant with my first child, I worried: Will I loathe the baby if he keeps me from my horse? Fortunately, life juggling kids and horses has been nothing like my gloomy, fretful forecast. Yes, I'm on a shorter rein when it comes to getting to the barn. But a new balance has taken over. Life has a choppier cadence now (think posting trot versus cantering), but it's one I can work with.
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Monday, June 8, 2015
Can You Ear Me Now?
It's full-on bug season here in the Mid-Atlantic and I'm keeping the flies out of my horse's ears in style. That's my Welsh Cob gelding, Taff, wearing what I call "Horse on Fire." Hayden, Alabama-based LaClaire Couch made this little piece of wear-able equine art. She makes more than 12,000 Ear Me Now Fly Bonnets a year.
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Monday, June 1, 2015
Farm Tour
There is a farm in off the beaten path in Virginia's beautiful horse country that I have been driving past since I was about 12 years old. Picture miles of well-kept black fencing that follows the ups and downs of a winding country road. There's the main driveway for Wind Fields Farm and then the farm entrance with a cute cottage at the road (of course, I'm partial to the farm entrance) and endless tree-lined stone walls that border the fields.
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Thursday, May 14, 2015
The Oregon Trail
What do you call the jitters that take over a horse when it's left behind in the barn while everyone else goes out? I don't know, but that's what I felt like in the summer of 2011. I was home in the city with two little kids while two of my dear, horse-loving uncles were trekking 1,800 miles across the country the old-fashioned way. Their goal? Retrace the original Oregon Tail in a replica wagon pulled by three gorgeous and sturdy draft mules.
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Wednesday, May 6, 2015
A Young Endurance Champ
The Kentucky Derby is an exciting two minutes, but what about a race that lasts 100 miles and a teenage girl and her humble horse win it all, finishing in less than 14 hours?
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Thursday, April 9, 2015
What Happened to the Stolen Horse?
Last Friday night I was glued to the national news watching the awful footage from California about the suspect attempting to flee the police on a very stoic stolen horse.
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Thursday, April 9, 2015
George the Unicorn
I'm on the phone with New Zealand this afternoon and I'm speaking to a unicorn. Well, I'm speaking about a unicorn, anyway. His name is George.
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Thursday, April 2, 2015
Pony Penning Fun
A dear friend who lives overseas emailed me the other day, subject line: IMPORTANT DECISION! I couldn't have clicked open that email any faster.
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Monday, March 16, 2015
Remembering Windy
I guess Facebook has a way of taking us down memory lane when we least expect it. A recent post from Horse Illustrated asked "Has your horse ever done something amazing?" I immediately thought of my horse, Windy. She was amazing pretty much every day of her life.
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Monday, March 9, 2015
Meet a Shetland Pony Jockey
It's snowy like crazy here in the Mid-Atlantic, but I'm keeping warm with thoughts of sunny days and sweaty ponies. Pony racing is a big deal in Maryland. Young catch rider Colin Smith says, "It's all about fun and going fast with lot of wind in your face when you're galloping around the track. It can be a flat race or over fences. It's an exciting feeling with all those galloping feet. Sometimes you can hear the crowd cheering, if they're loud enough to overcome all the galloping."
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Thursday, February 26, 2015
Meet the Equine Stars of Taylor Swift's Blank Space
For Andalusian stallions Chico and Paco, life at Spring Fever Farm in Mt. Airy, Maryland (not far from where I live) has as a nice steady rhythm: dressage lessons, turn out, lots of carrots and admiration, exhibitions and wedding jobs. Years ago I attended a classical horsemanship clinic at the farm, and met owner Diana Beuchert.
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Monday, February 16, 2015
Llama Love
In the world of horse rescue, you never know what "tools" you're going to have to pull out from under your hat to deal with daily surprises. This week – Jennifer Swanson and Brad Gaver, co-founders of Pure Thoughts Horse Rescue in Loxahatchee Groves, Florida had an unexpected bundle of joy on their hands – a miracle baby llama born with serious medical issues.
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Tuesday, February 10, 2015
The Bran Mash – Thumbs up or down?
Yum - there's nothing better than a steaming bowl of comfort food when it's cold out, right? At times over the years of owning a horse, when the temperature plummets in the winter, I think about a nice warm bran mash for my horse. What could be better – extra hydration, applesauce for flavor and lovely bran to keep things moving in the digestive department?
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Monday, February 2, 2015
A Chat with Jillian Michaels
It took me many months of follow up to get an interview with health guru and horse lover Jillian Michaels. In case you missed it in print (Horse Illustrated October 2013), here a recap of the fun interview. In all my years of interviewing horse people – no one has ever told me that they "suck" at jumping.
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Monday, January 26, 2015
Broken Bones Won't Break this Girl's Love for her Horse
I'll admit, I'm too quick to dismiss people who say they like horses, and then complain about mud, flies, cold, heat, rain, dirty blankets, sore legs (or worse) and clothes that smell like the barn. On the other hand, when I come across someone who loves horses like I do, especially when she's a 13-year old girl on an adorable pinto, I fall in love a little.
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Monday, January 12, 2015
Helping Rescue Horses Shine
Doug Bruce is a South Florida "R" judge who has specializes in hunters and equitation since 1997. He's also got a soft spot for unleashing the hidden talents of off-the-track thoroughbreds. This year, he's combined his experience as a trainer on the show circuit (local shows all the way to the Winter Equestrian Festival in Wellington) to showcase the hidden talents of some very special "diamonds in the rough" at Pure Thoughts Horse & Foal Rescue In Loxahatchee, Florida.
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Monday, January 5, 2015
I Heart My Horse Dentist
Call me crazy, but I love hanging around the barn when the horse dentist pays a visit. Dave Butts is a terrific horseman, and always has something interesting to say. He's also helped keep my horses' teeth in great shape over the last 15 years.
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Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Holiday Treasures
If you're in Wellington, Florida – the equine capital of the world this time of year – it's perfectly normal to walk into a department store wearing britches and boots and smelling like the barn (even carrying a dog into Nordstrom is A-OK). Sadly, I'm not in Wellington this winter. In Washington, DC (where I sit inside on a cold, rainy day without a single palm tree or drop of sunshine in sight) – riding boots stick out like a sore thumb, at least in a department store.
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Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Cookie Cutter Horse
My obsession with holiday cookies started when I was in high school. Over the years, I have made, decorated, packaged and delivered herds of boxes of holiday cookies. I have a collection of copper cookie cutters from moose to chickens to owls, dogs, cats, X's and O's, a giant dragonfly, flowers, birds and even a Martha Stewart giraffe and corresponding elephant and crocodile (safari theme).
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Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Sleigh Riding
"The Appearance of the Weather, reminds me of the use of a Sleigh"
-- George Washington, December 16, 1782
It's nearly winter here in the nation's capital and the taste of cold in the air makes me wish for snow and a sleigh ride. George Washington loved horses. If he didn't feel well, his personal physician was likely to recommend that the president get on his horse and ride for two hours to make him feel better.
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Friday, December 12, 2014
Meet an Equine Illustrator
Children's book author Ruth Sanderson's heart beats to the drum of hoof beats. In the 1980s she illustrated the covers of the Black Stallion books. These days, she illustrates Random House's Horse Diaries series – terrific horse stories and illustrations for young readers.
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Tuesday, November 18, 2014
I Heart Brighty
Have you ever read Marguerite Henry's wonderful 1953 children's book, Brighty of the Grand Canyon? If you haven't, I highly recommend it – it's one of my all-time favorite children's books.
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Tuesday, November 11, 2014
A Chat with Beezie Madden
While I should have been working on more pressing deadlines today, I couldn't resist the chance to chat with international riding superstar Beezie Madden. She was on the road to Toronto's Royal Horse Show (held during Canada's Royal Agriculture Winter Fair).
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Friday, November 7, 2014
Rewilding Europe
Did you know that of all the thousands of endangered species in the world, hundreds are breeds of horses? I've been doing a lot of research on endangered species over the past two years. Last year I discovered a very cool program called Rewilding Europe. It's a group of government agencies and conservation groups across the pond working to "rewild" huge swaths of land starting in Eastern Europe with endangered species from wolves to wild horses.
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It's Friday night at the Washington International Horse Show and fans are screaming for Jessica Springsteen, who quietly canters a circle on her Grand Prix mare Lisona. Jessica has been competing at WIHS since she was ten years old. The 22-year old and her 13-year old mare are both calm and cool – you'd never know they were about to jump the biggest jump of their career – a faux brick wall that grew to 2.080 meters (or 6.82 feet) in the show's famed Puissance class.
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Tuesday, October 21, 2014
New York's Carriage Horses
My family has a long history with carriage horses. My grandfather had a barn full of them. Once he drove his two favorite horses (Percheron work horses, Benny and Betty) all the way from his farm in New Jersey to Pennsylvania, pulling a covered wagon full of kids including my mother. As for me, I drove my first pony cart at about nine years old. I remember the moments vividly, trotting the pony through that small town to the beat of a proud clip clop with the reins in my hands, and taking in pony smell with every breath. What could be more fun?
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Wednesday, October 15, 2014
The Story of Sacagawea
Everyone's heard of Sacagawea, but did you know that the root of her famous story starts with horses? It happened like this: In 1804 Lewis & Clark set out in boats on their famous expedition to explore territory on the other side of the Mississippi River (President Thomas Jefferson had just acquired it in the Louisiana Purchase from France). In order to reach the Pacific, the explorers had to cross the Rocky Mountains. In order to cross the Rocky Mountains, they needed horses.
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Thursday, October 9, 2014
The Washington International Horse Show
There's something exciting about the closing down of city streets in the nation's capital to make room for horses. The park police drag out the concrete barriers. Motorcades detour. Temporary stalls go up. Trucks back up, beep, beep beeping and unloading hay, shavings and heavily stitched bags of feed. All this happens amid the chaos of rush hour traffic, power lunches and public transportation that makes the sidewalks tremble.
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Monday, September 29, 2014
Puppy, Meet Pony
My family and I came home from Maine this summer with a puppy. She's a little German Shepherd dreamboat and we're working hard to hone her manners and socialization skills. At home in the city, life is something like a page out of Richard Scarry's "Busytown" books. Tabby has been introduced to all kinds of people like friendly telephone pole workers, bus drivers, delivery men, people wearing hats, people riding scooters, teachers and lots of children.
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Monday, September 22, 2014
Creepy Trail Encounters
I don't know what scared me more, the creepy guy in the woods my friend and I encountered yesterday on horseback, or the look on the park police ranger's face when he realized we knew where the man was hiding. We encountered the officer just as accidentally as we'd encountered the creepy guy. One, it turns out, was looking for the other.
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Monday, September 15, 2014
Justin the Artist
Eight years ago, Adonna Combs bought a gorgeous two-year old Friesian gelding as a dressage prospect. But at a schooling show early in his career, Justin made it clear that dressage was not what he had in mind for a career.
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Monday, September 8, 2014
Can I just say first that I don't normally delight in killing things? Even when it comes to insects – I admire hardworking ants and have taught my kids to stand still (instead of swatting) in the presence of a bee. We relocate spiders and crickets and weathered last year's 17-year cicadas with a heavier dose of scientific interest than disgust. But horseflies are different.
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Tuesday, July 29, 2014
A friend of mine once declared it's not a party 'til someone opens a bag of cheese puffs. I say, it's not a party 'til a horse shows up. When my son Quinn turned eight this summer, he wanted to celebrate with friends in nearby Rock Creek Park with a hike to the creek followed by an endless game of kickball. He got all that (plus cupcakes and a lot of poison ivy). He also got a visit from: Stonewall!
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Tuesday, July 22, 2014
"Which horse is yours?"
It was an innocent question. I was leaning on a fence watching a lesson in an outdoor arena at a stable near Centreville, Virginia. But the girl I posed the question to (early 20s, like I was, also in riding boots) took it hard. Her face crumpled. I thought she was going to cry.
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Monday, July 14, 2014
Survival Adaptations
Monday, July 7, 2014
Freak Accident
Friday, June 20, 2014
Meet the Przewalski's Horse
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Cultivating Balance
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Meet Amos the Wonderhorse
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
April Showers Bring May Flowers
I'm sitting in a field of buttercups on a sunny day on Memorial Day weekend. Stress blows away on the breeze. The buzz of insects replaces the hum of a hectic life. I'm grateful for my horse. Grateful for the beauty of buttercups (yes, I have read they can be poisonous to horses, but in our 15 years here, it's never been an issue.) I love how having a horse encourages (forces?) me to live in the moment long enough to appreciate all of this.
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Tuesday, May 13, 2014
A Young Horse-Rescue Volunteer
A few months ago, I took on a story assignment for a new magazine in the Horse Illustrated/Young Rider family called Rescue Me. The magazine is all about the world of animal rescue. The story was to be about young volunteers at animal rescue organizations--totally my kind of story. I knew I wanted to include a horse rescue kid, but I had a hard time finding just the right super-star volunteer.
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Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Pure Thoughts Horse and Foal Rescue
For a homeless horse, entering the realm of Pure Thoughts Horse and Foal Rescue in Loxahatchee, FL sparks a magical transition: a starving horse becomes well-fed; a neglected horse becomes cherished; an unwanted horse becomes part of a family. Jennifer Swanson and Brad Gaver have rescued, rehabilitated and re-homed close to 2,000 equines over the past ten years. I'm lucky to be able to say I've known them for most of that time. I have seen it with my own eyes–for horses at Pure Thoughts, the grass really is greener.
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Wednesday, May 1, 2014
Baby, Baby, Baby
Back in December I blogged on The Sweet Feed about an unexpected and super-fun visit to the Glenhaven Welsh Ponies and Cobs in Unionville, Virginia where my Welsh Cob, Glenhaven Atheron (aka Taff), was born. At the time, owner Suzanne Moody showed us around her farm and introduced us to some of her ponies. Eight of her Welsh pony mares were in foal. She invited us to come back in April when she'd have foals.
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Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Easter Pony
Easter morning couldn't have been more beautiful, the sun shining down on the spring-green fields that gently slope up from the Monocacy River toward Maryland's iconic Sugarloaf Mountain. This year, we took our chocolate bunnies to go, on our way to Monocacy Equine Veterinary Associates. Hmmmm you say. Who's in the hospital?!
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Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Horses and Wolf Conservation
My husband tells me I can turn any conversation to the subject of horses. Last year, as I was working on a children's book for National Geographic Kids about wolves (it comes out this week!), I took this as a personal challenge: how would I fit horses into a book about saving wolves? As it turns out, I didn't have to work too hard to figure out a connection between wolves and horses.
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Monday, March 31, 2014
A Real Flying Horseman
It's always a thrill when a magazine with an article I wrote in it shoots through the mail slot. Conducting interviews and meeting deadlines is one thing, but seeing that work transformed into a glossy spread with gorgeous photos is another. Like last week when the May/June issue of Young Rider arrived.
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Monday, March 24, 2014
Like Magic
There's a magic that happens between ponies and boys. It's a quiet partnership. A silent understanding, perhaps, between tamed creatures whose wild spirits bubble close to the surface.
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Monday, March 17, 2014
Have you ever wondered about the word "aromatherapy" in the context of horses? The word has to do with using good smells to make one feel better. I was thinking about this today when I noticed the grocery bag of barn apples that I keep in my refrigerator.
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Galadriel Lothlorien, ME
Looks like fun.
PKL Somewhere, WY
Thank you for this article, because I did not even release that it was there. I will have to check it out.
Hi, my name is
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Hey guys,
"She was so into me when we met. I got her number, but when I called – nothing. This happens over and over and it's driving me F-ing crazy. That's why I came to you."
A one-on-one client said this in our 'entry interview.' The guy is a genuine B-List celebrity. He's decent-looking and rich. And frustrated out of his mind.
Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever wondered why Ms. Future Girlfriend (or Ms. Future Hookup) was so into you when you met, but won't return a call or text? Did she lose her phone? Join the circus? Get kidnapped by Darth Vader on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan?
The good news is that there is a solution.
The even better news is that most guys have this problem. Even celebrities like Mr. B-List. Learn the Love Systems solution (just six steps) and you'll be way ahead of the competition!
1. Attraction Her Way.
Attraction is different for men and women. If you were attracted to her yesterday, you'll probably be attracted to her today. If she was attracted to you yesterday, she might not remember your name ten minutes later.
Like David D says, "attraction is not a choice." What IS a choice is whether she acts on that attraction. So women are very used to feeling attracted, enjoying that feeling, and then doing absolutely nothing about it. (Think of how many women love flirting with gay men.)
We see this a LOT with guys who are pretty new to Love Systems. They learn some of the Love Systems building blocks of attraction – teasing, role plays, disqualification, storytelling and so on, and it's lots of fun. Hot girls who were never into you before follow you around with puppy dog eyes. Women compete for your attention, hanging off you laughing, playing with their hair, touching you. Your friends think you're The Man and everyone else wants to meet you.
But to actually get anywhere with any woman worth being with, you need to lock in that attraction. You need to turn yourself from "random guy she had a fun conversation with" to "man she needs to see again." Experienced men know that that comes through Qualification (making her chase you) and Comfort (the right kind of emotional connection).
They're not as fun as attraction. They don't spark the fireworks and your buddies won't be staring in awe. But they're necessary.
Be the person she's going to want to talk to tomorrow – during her normal life – not just the person who is fun to flirt with when she's hyped up at a bar.
2. The Phone Number is not the secret code to her heart (or pants).
A phone number by itself is worthless. It's not your goal. Your goal is to get her to want to see you again. If she does, she's pretty likely to just offer you her phone number. (And that's better than you asking for it.)
Some women play hard to get or want you to make the first move – fine. But give her a chance to chase you first.
3. Hey! Where are you going?
Stay at least a few minutes in the conversations after getting her phone number. (Stay as long as you want if you want to make something that happen that night.)
Obviously, sometimes that's not going to be possible, like if her friends are dragging her away. Fine. But if there is no obvious reason for the conversation to end all of a sudden, then don't end it suddenly.
This is part of female psychology – don't give the feeling that you came in, got what you wanted, and then left suddenly. Even though it's not really logical, it can give her that "feeling used" emotion, especially if her friends are watching. After all, if you really liked her wouldn't you spend more time getting to know her instead of rushing back to brag to your friends?
And if she thinks you're like that after getting her phone number, will she really want to have sex with you?
4. Text first (especially if she's younger).
It's less intrusive, more likely to get a response, and most girls are used to getting texts from the guys they want and endless unanswered phone calls from the desperate ones she doesn't.
Phone game experts Braddock and Mr M cover this pretty thoroughly in their book, The Ultimate Guide to Phone and Text Game, so I'll let it be the last word here.
5. I'll Show You Mine if You Show Me Yours.
If you're putting her in your phone, put your number in hers too. Not because she'll call you first (most hot girls won't, but some will text) but so she'll know it's you when you get in touch. A lot of people don't answer phone numbers they don't know and a "who is this?" kills emotional momentum.
Besides, being in her phone (the right way) is great for callback humor. Read on.
6. Got Callback Humor?
One of the first and biggest Love Systems breakthroughs way back when was the idea of Callback Humor.
And if I do say so myself, it's genius.
You know that awkward feeling you sometimes get the first time you call someone? You're no longer in a fun nightclub or the cool guy she spontaneously met at the mall or coffee shop. All that fun energy is gone.
What if I told you that there's a way to put her emotionally back to where she was when she met you – even if you phone a couple days later? Callback humor does this by setting up "inside jokes" with her when you first meet her.
At a basic level, it can be something like giving her a nickname. When you first text or call, use that nickname – it'll remind her of meeting you. Roleplays are also a great attraction technique, and lend themselves really well to callback humor – just pick up on some element of the roleplay when you call or text first.
For bonus points, use callback humor when you give her your number. If I'm roleplaying that she's my naughty ex I still hook up with, I might put my name in her phone as "Nick XILF" or "Ex-BF Sex God". That's going to show up on her phone when I call or text the first time and probably make her laugh.
(The sexualized frame is a bonus.)
I seed every conversation with callback humor. After a few dozen times, it becomes automatic. Even if I'm not thinking of getting her phone number, I seed callback humor anyway. Make it a habit, because plans and goals can change, and there's nothing more awkward than desperately trying to squeeze some callback humor into the end of a conversation.
Big Business, Future, and Tenmagnet are experts in using callback humor, and all of them are Love Systems Master Instructors. I've borrowed things from all three of them even in my own game. So when we did our full-length audio guide on callback humor, we knew we needed to get them on it.
To listen to the audio guide right away (first 10 minutes are free), click here:
When you use Callback Humor, think of it like an opener or opening line. In other words, a minute (or a couple of texts) is plenty. It's going to help her get into a fun, flirtatious, happy state when she hears from you the first time. It's not going to do all the work for you.
Also, callback humor doesn't have to be sexual. Don't force a sexual frame if that's not the vibe of your initial conversation. The best callback humor comes organically from role plays and teasing – techniques you should be using in attraction anyway.
I could go on forever – callback humor is that important (and I'm pretty proud of it as a Love Systems breakthrough back in the early days). Just try it and see!
I hate it when things go wrong late in the game. If you mess up an opening line, you've lost 10 seconds. If you mess up callback humor or the first call or text, you might have lost the entire night you put into attracting her in the first place.
Make your mistakes early. Take risks early. Use solid, proven game late.
Take care,
Nick Savoy
NB – Since I know I'm going to get a bunch of "can you send me that link again" emails, I'll save the trouble – here's the link to Future and Tenmagnet and Big Business' callback humor guide – listen to it on your computer, in your car, on your iPod, when working out, whatever:
All Love Systems products and services are covered by a full guarantee. If you don't think any product or service was worth every penny of what you invested, simply send us an email within 30 days. Thanks for being part of the Love Systems Community.
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The Goodwood Festival of Speed is coming up soon, so I've selected a picture from an earlier Festival for this week's Caption Competition.
Here's Sir Stirling Moss enjoying himself at the 2009 Goodwood Festival of Speed.
It's over to you to see who can supply the funniest caption for this picture.
A selection of the best will be featured in the daily round-up.
This year's Festival takes place on June 29th – July 1st.
Caption Competition
- Caption Competition 89: Fernando Alonso
- Caption Competition 88: Button meets a Kaiser Chief
- Caption Competition 87: Horner vs Kvyat
- Caption Competition 86: Rosberg, Hamilton – and Alonso
- Caption Competition 85: Ricciardo, Ericsson and Sainz
Browse all previous Caption Competitions
Image ?�?� Andy Smerdon


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Holy Land Custodian Asks Christians to Sacrifice for Peace
Father Battistelli Sees Reasons for Hope
| 1123 hits
ROME, FEB. 13, 2002 (Zenit.org).- The custodian of the Holy Land appealed to Christians to live this Lent in prayer and sacrifice for peace in the holy places.
"At the beginning of Lent, I wish to say that if we do not entrust ourselves to Providence, I´m afraid the war will last a long time," Franciscan Father Giovanni Battistelli told the Italian SIR Catholic agency.
"In this period our faithful Christians are asked to have only one meal and to give what is saved to those who are in indigence, who are many," he added. "I hope this sacrifice will open hearts to hope and peace."
The custodian also hopes that, because of Easter, "pilgrims will return to the Holy Land. It would be the first step toward normalization."
"What is happening in the Territories presages nothing good, although U.S. President George Bush´s statements, who has again opened to Yasser Arafat, allow for hope in the renewal of dialogue," Father Battistelli said.
An important role in the diplomatic solution of the conflict "should also be played by the European Union, which can align itself with the U.S. and Russia in the determination to reopen a necessary dialogue for peace," the custodian added.
"There is no lack of signs in Israeli society that give hope," he continued. "Some 100 Israeli reservists have expressed their opposition to fighting in the Occupied Territories. There have also been manifestations of ordinary people who believe that repression is not the best solution."


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Opportunity China is a gateway for English teachers to find exciting and enriching teaching positions in China. Working only with trusted partner schools, we're here to offer personalised advice and resources throughout the process, whether you're an experienced teaching professional, a first time teacher or are taking a gap year.
We have well-paid teaching jobs in China available year round, as well as Au Pair & Study, Summer Camp and Summer Mandarin Study Programme.


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Fundamentally a free-to-air PVR, Fetch TV stands above traditional PVR rivals by offering its own pay TV option, delivered over your internet connection.
For an extra $15-$20 a month for ISP subscribers (although that price will be different if depending on your ISP), you get 36 pay-TV channels streamed through the net in the shape of the 'Entertainment Plus Pack'.
Outright purchasers will get the Fetch Starter pack, which includes video recording and catchup TV, as well as YouTube access and movie rentals.
The starter pack used to include 30 free Movie Box films, but now users are required to add the Entertainment Plus pack ($15) for the Entertainment channels and Movie Box service, while the Ovation ($4.95) and Setanta Sports ($14.95) packs are an additional cost.
The channel lineup in the Entertainment pack is fairly extensive: TV Hits, MTV, E!, Style, BBC First, BBC UKTV, BBC Knowledge, HGTV, The Food Network, NBC's Universal Channel, SyFy, MTV Music, MTV Classic, MTV Dance, ESPN, ESPN2, National Geographic Channel, Nat Geo Wild, Nat Geo People, Travel Channel, Fashion TV, Disney, Disney Junior, Nickelodeon, Nick Jr, Baby TV, BBC World News, CNBC, Bloomberg, France 24, Euronews, NDTV, Channel NewsAsia, Al Jazeera, CCTV News, the Australian Christian Channel and the SyFy channel.
Fetch is also targeting the massive number of Australian homes that speak a language other than English with a range of World TV channels. Starting at $9.95 a month, users can opt for a selection of channels in a number of languages, including Chinese, Korean, Indian, Filipino, and more.
There are also add-ons for the sports lover, with beIN Sports costing $14.95 a month and offering heaps of European rugby and football games.
Once you've signed up, the channels are seamlessly integrated into the free-to-air EPG. You can scroll through the entire channel list, or select your favourites and limit what you want to see. As you channel flick, the Fetch device seamlessly transitions between broadcast channels and IP channels, with practically no delay regardless of the delivery mechanism.
In fact, the only way to really know which channels are broadcast and which ones are streamed is a tiny little icon on the info box that comes up when you change a channel.
The TV menu has also introduced a "Top Shows" option in the 2.1 software update, which curates some of the most popular programming from both free to air and Pay TV services, and allows you to browse the better shows in a simple, convenient fashion.
Movies, catch up and YouTube
The pay TV element - while important to the overall performance - is but a tiny portion of the services on offer.
Fetch TV also doubles as a movie rental service, offering the ability to hire both standard definition and high definition movies without ever having to leave your seat. Films cost the same as they do through services like Apple TV, with an easy to browse mechanism that pops up on the main menu.
Rotten Tomatoes reviews are integrated into the hiring process, giving an immediate insight into a film's quality and helping users select their movie of the night.
Fetch also introduced a new "Specials" tab in its movie rental service, where 18 films will be available to rent for $2.95 at any given time.
But for viewers who want more than just the latest blockbusters, Fetch also provides the Movie Box service, which includes 30 movies to stream for free. Every day a new movie is added, which is available for 30 days before being taken off the service.
The movie selection doesn't include any new releases, and the quality of films vary, but there are plenty of watchable (and award winning) films on offer. While we tested, you could watch The Last King of Scotland or Independance Day as two out of the thirty films.
All the Movie Box offerings are only available in SD, so despite the variety there is obviously a quality question. But given they don't cost any extra, it can hardly be considered a viable complaint.
While Moviebox offers plenty of value, from a simple convenience standpoint, it's hard to go past the catch-up services.
Both ABC iView and SBS On Demand are integrated into the box itself, saving you the hassle of having to access them via a separate device.
Also in the catch up service list in the latest update was Channel 10's TenPlay app, so Masterchef and Neighbours fans are now officially catered for, while Yahoo!7 Plus7 means Home and Away is never too far away
What's more, all these services have been customised to mimic the Fetch TV's user interface, which makes the whole process of navigating and selecting which catch-up programs to watch so much easier.
Compared to the iView app on devices like the PlayStation 3, this is a much more enjoyable way to experience the catch up service.
But the most recent addition to the Fetch TV box – Netflix – is one of the device's biggest selling points.
The Netflix app is available at the top of the Apps menu, and is immediately familiar to anyone who has used Netflix before, with plenty of suggested content across the screen controllable via the Fetch TV remote.
The inclusion of Netflix is a boon for the set top box, but Fetch TV has long celebrated its openness to include as many streaming services as possible.
Whether StreamCo's Stan will come to the service is still to be seen, but given Presto's affiliation with Foxtel, it's unlikely we'll see it on Fetch any time soon though.
If you still can't find anything to watch via the subscription channels, or catch-up TV services, there's always YouTube.
Fetch TV integrates YouTube leanback, which has videos optimised for a big screen experience. Obviously, watching a video encoded at 240p will look absolutely rubbish on your big screen, but watching a Full HD movie like Red Bull's The Art of Flight is a very enjoyable experience.
You can also partner the YouTube experience with your phone or tablet, allowing you to type and search much easier than manually working through the remote's T9 keyboard.
Finally, Fetch has incorporated DLNA into the box, introducing the ability to watch your own content directly from the box. Accessing your local network content is found in the same section of the user interface as your recordings, which is a pretty intuitive place to put it, really.
It also works really well, streaming content from our smartphone effortlessly.


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2012 Gear & Apparel on SaleSave on 2012 Gear & Apparel on Sale at Proboardshop.com! Great selection of snow gear at unbelievably low prices. Proboardshop has been selling 2012 Gear & Apparel on Sale and outdoor gear for over 30 years and we're proud of it.
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- Brand: Teton
- Gender: Men's
2012 Gear & Apparel on Sale
Teton Rendevous Rocker Skis
Size: 164cm, 170cm, 176cmComp. At: $369.95 On Sale: $139.95
Teton Supreme Rocker Skis
Size: 161cm, 171cmComp. At: $389.95 On Sale: $146.95


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Save 20% Site Wide! Coupon code: HOLIDAY
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Review Details
Water Kefir Starter Kit
Product Rating:
Product Review (submitted on January 22, 2014):
I have just finished my first batch and so far I love it! I couldn't wait to taste it, so I didn't do a second ferment on my first attempt - we just drank the water as is, and thought it was fantastic! I'm looking forward to the time when my grains multiply and I can double the batches I make!
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Pets for Small Children
Lil Community: Suggestions For a First Pet?
Adding to the family often includes an animal with four legs. Betty Wayne asked this question in The Mommy Club group.
I'm planning on getting my four-and-a-half year old a pet . . . she's mature and good with animals. I have a 10 gallon tank and would rather not have to buy a new one. I'm leaning against a small animal like a mouse because I don't want it to get away and crawl under the couch while she's holding it. I'm leaning toward either a guinea pig or a bunny . . . any suggestions?
Do you have a treasure trove of sweet baby shower suggestions or a question for other moms who have been there and done that? Start asking questions and sharing your advice and tips in The Mommy Club! Here's a detailed guide to posting questions or posts to groups if you are new to the PopSugar Community.
POPSUGAR, the #1 independent media and technology company for women. Where more than 75 million women go for original, inspirational content that feeds their passions and interests.


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Product Description:
The 2013 edition has had some changes to the casing to improve their durability. The sound has also had minor changes and now has slightly more bass.
The Beta earphones are characterized by their balance, providing a clear and detailed sound that is full with a hint of warmth, giving you a fun and unbiased audio experience unmatched at the beta's price point. Along with an eye catching in-ear monitor design, the Brainwavz beta features a dynamic driver tuned specifically for balance and accurate sound representation. Good build quality also ensures long lasting quality - the betas are built to last.
- Clear and detailed sound
- Comfortable fit
- Long lasting quality
- Transducers/Drivers: Dynamic, 13.5mm, CCAW Drive units
- Rated Impedance: 16ohms
- Frequency range: 20 ~ 20KHz
- Rated input power: 10mW
- Maximum input power: 40mW
- Plug: 3.5mm, 45 degree, gold-plated
- Cable length: 1.2m
- 1 year warranty
- Dimensions (Packaging): 101 x 72 x 36mm
- Net Weight: 13g
- Gross Weight: 35g
*Included Accessories:
- 3 x Pairs of ear tips (S/M/L)
- 1 x Pair of Comply foam tips S-series
- 1 x Instruction manual and 1 year warranty card
*The included accessories with the BRAINWAVZ Beta can change at any time, as can the outer packaging design. The photographs of the packaging, and the list of included accessories, may not necessarily reflect what your package will look like or the accessories you will receive if the manufacturer decide to make a change. We will, however, do our best to keep this page up to date.
Additional Info
Additional Info
You may also be interested in the following product(s)
Brainwavz Headphone Case - Suitable For Most Headphone Sizes - Removable Internal Pouch & Carrying Strap Included$19.50
Brainwavz Beta IEM Earphones w/ In-Line Microphone & Remote For Smartphones [2013 Edition]$33.50
Brainwavz HM5 Studio Monitor Headphones$139.50
Brainwavz Replacement Memory Foam Earpad - Suitable For Large Over The Ear Headphones - Black$22.50
BRAINWAVZ ProAlpha IEM Noise Isolating Earphones - Free Fedex 2 Day To Select Destinations$44.50
Brainwavz R3 Dual Dynamic IEM Noise Isolating Earphones - Free Fedex 2 Day To Select Destination$129.50
Brainwavz HM5 Spare Earpad 1 Pair$22.50
Brainwavz S0 IEM Noise Isolating Earphones with Clearwavz Remote and Microphone - Free Fedex 2 Day To Select Destinations$49.50
Result Filters
- more than 1 year(s)
- Хорошие наушники за свою цену, особенно если брать по акции. Достаточно просто и честно играю любые жанры, но предпочтение всё же отдают музыке с басами. За счет нестандартной формы посадка в ушах может не всех устроить. А вот за пенные насадки хочется сказать большое спасибо!
- more than 1 year(s)
- excellent headphones for her, the price of deep bass
excellent sound, balanced sound
I advise to buy
- more than 1 year(s)
- Наушники получил в подарок при покупках (2 шт.). Сразу при получении подарил. Одаренные люди - счастливы. Конструкция, как мне кажется, слабая, но, пользоватся можно успешно, если не подвешивать гири к проводам.
Headphones received a gift with purchase (2 pcs.). Immediately on delivery presented as a gift. Gifted people - happy! The design seems to me, is weak, but to Use can be successfully, if not hang dumbbells to the wire.
- more than 1 year(s)
- After dudding out your standard retail purchased earphones for many years, I was doing my research and came across a review for the Beta's.
Boy am I glad I made this purchase. Even before the burn in period the quality in sound compared to my existing plugs was amazing. I can't wait to hear the improvement once the phones burn in.
I am a very happy owner.
- more than 1 year(s)
- pretty nice earphones..if you are on a tight budget....dont think Jus Go for it!!
- more than 2 year(s)
- it is the second time that I bought this product and with the update became a must have at this price. The sound-stage is wide and the sound is balanced and I do not need an equalizer setting when I use my Ipod and smartphone.
The comply foam is also a really nice addition
- more than 3 year(s)
- I own Brainwavz B2, HM5, HM3, R1, M2, M4, M1, Soundmagic PL30 & ajay's 3... but after B2s, , I find these the earphones of my choice....
The sound-stage is wide and the sound is balanced and I donot need an equalizer setting when I use my Ipod
Must haves and a steal at this price. I have been using these for almost a year and they are holding to the ruff use well...
- more than 3 year(s)
- Awesome earphones for its price, they are detailed and balanced. The comply foam is also a really nice addition, because those tips actually stay in your ear, whereas the normal ones might slip out.
One thing might be improved is the cable strenght, because it happend to me two times there was a cable crack.
- more than 3 year(s)
- The sound is very nice and it comes with lots of in-ear adjusts to choose. I tryed with lots of music and compared to my Porta-Pro. Recommend this product.
- more than 3 year(s)
- These headphones bass am feeling much better than the Alpha. For me, it's not a plus, but for many, yes, I know. Landing in the ears is much better than the Alpha, but worse than in the SM PL50. The wire quality. Unfortunately I had little used them, so that durability will not say anything. Rated 4 set with an eye on the price.


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Sports Photos
SMU 44, Memphis 13
Photo: John F. Rhodes/Special Contributor
SMU running back Zach Line (48) eludes Memphis defensive lineman Corey Jones (94) during a NCAA college football game on Saturday, October 27, 2012 in Dallas.
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Ratings: It's a Wonderful Life Gets Biggest Audience in Years
It's a Wonderful Life | Photo Credits: Kobal Collection
More than 5.5 million people tuned in to the holiday classic It's a Wonderful Life on NBC Christmas Eve, marking it the biggest audience for Frank Capra's 1946 film in seven years.
Bolstered by those numbers, NBC won Monday evening, with It's a Wonderful Life drawing 5.6 million viewers, its largest audience since 2005, and a 1.5 rating in the adults 18-to-49 demographic. It also makes it the most-watched theatrical movie to play on a broadcast network so far this season, according to Entertainment Weekly.
All of the major networks aired holiday programming or reruns of their prime-time shows. ABC's Shrek the Halls special drew 3.4 million viewers and a 1.0 in the demo.
8 p.m.
CBS: How I Met Your Mother (R) 3.3 million (.9); How I Met Your Mother (R) 3.2 million (1.0)
ABC: Prep & Landing (R) 3.4 million (.9) / Shrek the Halls (R) 3.4 million (1.0)
Fox: Raising Hope (R) 1.9 million (.7) / Raising Hope (R) 1.4 million (.5)
NBC: It's a Wonderful Life (R) 5.6 million (1.5)
CW: Christmas Is Here Again 800,000 (.3)
9 p.m.
CBS: 2 Broke Girls (R) 4.3 million (1.2) / Mike & Molly (R) 4.5 million (1.2)
ABC: Shrek the Third 3.4 million (1.1)
Fox: Raising Hope (R) 1.5 million (.5); Raising Hope (R) 1.7 million (.6)
CW: Christmas Is Here Again 700,000 (.2) / Second Star to the Left 600,000 (.2)
10 p.m.
CW: Hawaii Five-0 (R) 4.8 million (1.2)


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Pursuing Music offers piano lessons to the Camarillo area. My name is Adrian Carriger, and I have been te... more
Online and local retailer of all musical equipment and accessories. Rentals are available upon request. more
Michael's Piano Service offers a variety of services to fit your piano needs. Since 1988 we have been tun... more
At Guitar Center Oxnard, you'll find a huge selection of amps, drums, keyboards, recording gear, DJ equip... more
Our Mission: To instill the love of good music in people's hearts by providing an affordable, high qualit... more
Top Trending Articles
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A musical instrument can be a great deal of fun. Read ... more
How to Choose and Learn to Play a New Instrum...
Learning to play a new instrument is a great way to exp... more
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Different styles of music call for different types of g... more
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Read about how making good choices when shopping for ch... more
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Educational toys are great tools to assist in your chil... more
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© 2015 Local Corporation - US Patent 7,231,405
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Policy Issues
THE POLICIES THAT PAKISTAN'S LEADERS have pursued are as important as the constitutional forms of government the country has had. This chapter traces the policies of five of Pakistan's most important leaders (from 1958) and the effects of their policies on the institutions of the state.
Ayub believed in centralized authoritarian government. He was convinced that the people of Pakistan were too uneducated, divided, impoverished, and unsophisticated to form democratic institutions. He was also convinced that Pakistan's politicians were merely self-serving parasites on the body politic. The institutions established and the policies pursued by Ayub were reflective of these biases.
The system of government established by Ayub placed great reliance on Pakistan's civilian bureaucrats. To Ayub, bureaucrats were the ideal ruling elite: They were intelligent, well educated, loyal to the state, and experienced in administration. Therefore, the majority of Ayub's advisers and cabinet ministers were civilians with administrative, legal, financial, or agricultural experience. The most prominent group of such bureaucrats was the Civil Service of Pakistan (CSP), the lineal descendent of the Indian Civil Service (ICS). During Ayub's regime the 400-odd members of the CSP came to dominate virtually every locus of authority in government. 1
Despite his military background, Ayub chose relatively few military officers to staff political or administrative posts. 2 The military served in Ayub's government (especially after 1962) as loyal "praetorians" (the emperor's loyal personal guards during the Roman Empire). Their role was to support the regime from the barracks. Ayub accordingly consciously downplayed his military origins.
Given Ayub's distrust of politicians, it should come as no surprise that his regime limited the importance of the legislature, political parties, and


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Hewlett Packard (HP) CB459A Original Transfer Roller Belt
The original Hewlett Packard CB459A transfer roller belt is professionally designed to produce the highest quality printouts for your Hewlett Packard laser printer. The brand new, original CB459A is an ideal choice transfer belt for your Hewlett Packard printer. Hewlett Packard CB459A transfer belts deliver excellent, dependable results, page after page. You can depend on Hewlett Packard CB459A transfer roller belts.
Compatible Printers:
Color LaserJet
|OEM Number
Page Yield
Page Yield is an approximation of the number of standard pages that can be printed with one cartridge, usually measured at 5% page coverage. 5% coverage is a standard 8.5 x 11 inch page with a light letterhead, address and three paragraphs of text double spaced. If you print mixed text and graphics or WebPages your page coverage is closer to 15% and therefore the number of pages printed with each cartridge will be less. If you are printing photos your page coverage is close to 100% and the number of printed photos will be much less than the amount the number of pages you would be able to print if you were just printing standard text documents.
Click anywhere to close this popup
|Cost Per Page
|Shelf Life
|0.03 cents
|24 Months


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DropTeam adds new unit, squad types
updated 10:40 am EDT, Wed August 2, 2006
DropTeam updated
Battlefront has released an update to DropTeam, its real-time tactical strategy game that takes place in humanity's distant future. The update adds a new unit, infantry, and new squad types to accommodate the new soldier. The game features a combat system that allows users to deploy and manage highly scalable battles on varying planets. Game developers attempt to remove the "simplifications" found in many other sci-fi games such as "hit points," short range weapons, and a limited field of view. Last month a multiplayer demo was released and is still available for download, while the full version is available now for $35. DropTeam requires a Geforce4 or Radeon 9600 graphics card or better with 64MB of video memory and Mac OS X 10.4.5 or later.


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Carrier Oil Sweet Almond
Carrier Oil Sweet Almond 16 oz Oil
Sweet Almond oil is probably the most popular base for massage oils because of its luxurious emollient feel and its ready absorbability. It is used both by itself and in combination with other oils to make custom blends.
Directions May be used as a massage or moisturizing oil by applying to the skin or moisturizing oil by applying to theose you may add your favorite essential skin as desired. Fragrance Free. If you choose you may add your favorite essential oil for fragrance. Keep all oils in a cool, dark place to Preserve freshness.
Other Ingredients: Prunus dulcis (sweet almond) oil *100% Pure expeller pressed oil.
Warnings: Keep out of reach of children. As with all dietary supplements, consult your healthcare professional before use. See product label for more information.


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November 30, 2015
A Senate committee is debating a proposed fuel tax increase for airplanes. If it passes it will cost consumers in more ways than just flying.
The changes in question would impose a "user fee" for airspace. This will then cut the fuel taxes for big airlines, but it will double those of general aviation.
The Senate Commerce committee recommends eliminating the .043 per gallon fuel tax that big airlines currently pay, while general aviation's tax would more than double to almost fifty cents.
KKCO firmly believes in freedom of speech for all and we are happy to provide this forum for the community to share opinions and facts. We ask that commenters keep it clean, keep it truthful, stay on topic and be responsible. Comments left here do not necessarily represent the viewpoint of KKCO 11News.powered by Disqus
Click Here to access the online Public Inspection File
Viewers with disabilities can get assistance accessing this station's FCC Public Inspection File by contacting the station with the information listed below. Questions or concerns relating to the accessibility of the FCC's online public file system should be directed to the FCC at 888-225-5322, 888-835-5322 (TTY), or firstname.lastname@example.com.


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President Barack Obama's appearance on" The View" this week gave the show a 15-month ratings high, according to Deadline.com.
His Tuesday visit, where he spoke about topics like Wall Street reform and his recently announced support for gay marriage, drew 4.7 million viewers, according to Nielsen.
It was his fourth visit to the ABC morning talk show and the first of his re-election campaign.
See how the president fared on a pop culture challenge at Eurweb.com.
via MadameNoire


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728 posts tagged with database.
Displaying 551 through 600 of 728. Subscribe:
Best software solution for a reading list database?
What is the best way to go as far as software for making a annotated reading list/database of books is concerned? Apart from the usual details, I'd like to add tags and short notes to each entry and would like to be able to work on the file off-line. Are there any existing software solutions for such a task out there or is my best option to go with MS Access/MySQL or a similar such program? I'm on the PC/Win XP platform and looking for inexpensive/shareware/freeware options Thanks!
How to search pending lawsuits or court cases prior to completion?
How do you search for court cases or law suits that have not yet been completed? [more inside]
FileMaker me?
FilemakerFilter: I need some database help, because I am a n00b. My FIRST robotics team is creating a database of teams at our regional event, for scouting... [more inside]
How to easily search/replace in MySQL database?
Is there an easy, preferably open source way of editing MySQL table contents? I was hoping for something which would let me use Excel (or OO Calc) to edit the live database. I need to search/replace many items in a poorly imported database. [more inside]
PIM Database?
My boss wants me to gather 5,000 or so business contacts into a searchable database, which will then be used to create email distribution lists according to particular queries. Preferably Open Source, but proprietary is also OK. Any recommendations?
My Kingdom for a DBA
Databasefilter: I'm a self-taught 'DBA' (I use quotes so as to not offend those who have this knowledge through a paid education). I'm having an efficiency problem with a few of my tables, and I thought maybe one or two of you could help. [more inside]
Client Server Database
This is probably impossible but... Is there an open source client-server database that I can put on a shared Windows xp server without actually installing it? In other words simply copy up a bunch of files and have it work without going through a standard windows installation involving writing to the Registry etc... Actually i dont even care if its open source as long as it is small and relatively inexpensive. thanks in advance.
What database should I use?
Help me avoid Microsoft. I need a simple database programme, is there a good cheap alternative to MS Access out there? Can anyone recommend OOo base? [more inside]
Save me two weeks of manual labor, please
I have a data set of approximately 9,000 hip-hop tracks. It's in an Excel file. I have the song title, the artist, and the album. Now I just need the year. How can I find and automatically import the year into the Excel file without manually looking up every track on Google? Is there a way to do this with MusicBrainz or a similar database?
How do to update rows without a cursor?
How do I update rows in a table in a SQL*Server 2005 database with data from another row in the same table? [more inside]
Formatted movie data availability?
I'm working on a site that requires a movie database. Help me find formatted data! [more inside]
I don't wanna be a cutter!
Is there an easier way to combine CSV files? There is a bit [more inside]
Help w/ importing flatfiles!
Flat file importing best practices? tips? ideas? [more inside]
No database for the average Joe
Librarian type question: how on earth can I get access to the National Security Archive database by Proquest? I am writing some articles on the Cold War on Wikipedia and want to see some of the documents in this collection, but Proquest/Chadwyck doesn't deal with individuals. They even offer free trials, which I can't get because I'm not an individual. Am I out of luck? [more inside]
What's the best approach to building a lightweight database app?
I have been asked to write a database application that will be running in a storefront situation and will allow the user to enter data on what is sold (in this case, bicycles and bicycle accessories and parts) and generate basic bookkeeping reports (i.e. end-of-day sales, quarterly sales, that sort of thing.) [more inside]
Where do they get all those wonderful data?
WhereTheHellDoTheyGetAllThatData Filter: When someone wants to start a site that requires huge amounts of data like IMDB or Pandora or Last.FM, where do they get the data? [more inside]
From Mail to Filemaker?
How can I automagically parse the oddly-formatted text from the body of an email so that Filemaker can use it? [more inside]
Music, sweet music, I wish I could caress and kiss and find ...
Help me find industrial-strength software to catalog an extremely large CD collection. [more inside]
Open source media contacts/relations database suggestions?
I'm looking for a free (or nearly) solution for storing an existing list of media contacts. [more inside]
Selecting the MODE of a group of data in Microsoft Access
Microsoft Access. An SQL "GROUP BY" query. How do I generate the mode of the values that it's grouping, when I want averages in other multiple fields? [more inside]
How do I format raw data that will eventually be part of a database?
Complete database newbie. I have raw information in the form of text, numbers and photos. This stuff will eventually be fed to users on a web site. I am in the information-collection phase now. What's the best way to collect and format the data so it has the easiest possible path into a database that will serve the web site? [more inside]
School needs centralized site for lesson plans
I'd like to develop a searchable (by tags) database of leson plans for the 20 odd teachers at my school. Any ideas? [more inside]
How to begin on this multi user PHP stats project?
How would you write an application in PHP that tracks multiple users, and the users' multiple sites? [more inside]
How to get mySQL to ignore "A, An, & The" when presenting alphabetized book titles
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+book +find +help
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How do I get the record with the most current date by a key field?
SQL question: How do I get the record with the most current date for each person's ID? Better explanation inside. [more inside]
Please help with an Access/Database question!
Help with MS Access needed please - I'm told it should be a fairly simple query to conduct, but I don't think I'm upto the task solo. Can the hive mind help? [more inside]
Mysql... why won't you accept more connections?
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Sick of allmusic.com!
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Best customer database for a small business?
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MySQL import question
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Using a Database for analysis of temperatures
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SQLServer Express remote connection problems
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mySQL table viewers?
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Organizing software in an enterprise
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orthogonality isn't a SQL know-it-all after all, let's laugh at him
Help! Stumped by an SQL problem. [more inside]
I need help with counting.
I got the job. Now I need a little help with it. Someone I briefly worked under while at this job has posed a Microsoft Access question to me. I understand a good amount of Access but this was immediately over my head. I told her that I would see what I could find out for her. [more inside]
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Looking for an easy to use database interface
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Database for a small merchant
Help, business owners! I run a mail order business -- about 3-5 orders a day, with about 15 items in stock. For years I have used an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of orders. Is there a better way? [more inside]
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What's the best way to store hierarchical data?
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It's just a page with links on it...why is it so complicated?
What's the best way to save files from a website that requires authentication? [more inside]
Seeking Free Victorian to WWI-era Photos
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Finding longest sequence in a set of numbers
I have a question about finding the longest sequence in a set of numbers. [more inside]
Reproduction of this coupon is expressly prohibited
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Look, none of us are exactly stoked on how consumer driven our world is. It should be about the ride, or the experience you get from being on a bike with friends, not who has the newest product or component. Yet, unfortunately to some, it is. To some extent anyway. Over here at the Radavist, we're aware of this conundrum, but we'll always try to steer you in the right direction when it comes to products. Remember, buy local when you can! You're local bike shop needs you.
Check out some of our favorite products of 2014 below. Just try not to end up with an empty wallet, ok?


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Based on the, Warrant Canada Web Site, the B warrants are trading at a 3 to 1 ratio, stock goes to . .60 cents warrants should be .20 cents plus a possible premium . interesting. Very nice leverage . Right now they are trading in that range, new discoveries, new wells, greater flow rates in current wells , etc. etc. should really boost warrants. ALL THE BEST
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Figure 2.
Drosophila Zip1 (dZip1) and dZip2 are localized to the plasma membrane. (A-C) Specific localization of dZip1 on the apical side in the larval midgut constriction. dZip1 immunofluorescence staining is red, and nuclear DAPI staining is blue. (A) Specific distribution of dZip1 immunofluorescence (red) in the larval midgut constriction. Arrows denote the midgut constriction. Scale bars = 50 μm. (B) dZip1 (red) is located on the apical membrane of cells in the midgut constriction. Arrowheads and arrows indicate the basal and the apical membranes, respectively. Scale bars = 10 μm. (C) A surface view of the midgut constriction clearly shows the plasma membrane localization of dZip1 (red). Scale bars = 10 μm. (D) Membrane localization of dZip2 expressed in Caco-2 cells. To facilitate visualization, enhanced green fluorescent protein (eGFP)-tagged dZip2 (green) was used. Scale bars = 10 μm. (E) Immunofluorescence (red) against hemagglutinin (HA) reveals apical distribution of dZip2-HA in the midgut cells. DAPI (blue) shows the nucleus. Arrowheads and arrows indicate the basal and the apical membranes, respectively. Scale bars = 10 μm. Flies used are NP3084/UAS-dZip2-HA.
Qin et al. BMC Biology 2013 11:101 doi:10.1186/1741-7007-11-101


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Brand ResearchToyota
Instrumented Test2014 Toyota Highlander Hybrid AWD
Regular and orderly with a bourgeois eco-twist.
FeatureDrag Queens: Aerodynamics Compared
Five slippery cars enter a wind tunnel; one slinks out a winner.
Comparison Tests2014 Honda Civic EX-L vs. 2014 Kia Forte EX, 2014 Mazda 3 i Touring, 2014 Toyota Corolla S, 2014 Volkswagen Jetta SE
Springtime Thaw: We escape from winter's grasp in a quintet of small sedans to answer the question: Who's the big winner in the small-car segment?
Instrumented Test2014 Toyota 4Runner 4WD
Not fixing what ain't broke, Toyota stays the course with its stalwart off-roadable SUV.
First Drive Review2015 Toyota Tundra TRD Pro Series 4x4
Proof that the off-road wars are heating up.
First Drive Review2015 Toyota 4Runner TRD Pro
As beautiful off-road as it isn't on the street.
First Drive Review2015 Toyota Tacoma TRD Pro
Toyota's "Taco Supreme" is a desert delight.
Instrumented Test2014 Toyota Highlander AWD V-6
Still vanilla, but surprisingly zesty vanilla.
Official Photos and Info2015 Toyota Camry
Banishing the bland.
Feature2018 Toyota Sports Car: Don't Call It a Supra—On Second Thought . . .
Co-developed with BMW—and one of 25 Cars Worth Waiting For from 2015–2018.
Future Cars2015 Toyota Prius Rendered, Detailed
The next-gen Prius could evolve into a sinister-looking bottom breather.


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Cranberry Orange Almond Oatmeal
10 minutes
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup water
pinch of salt
1/2 cup old fashioned oats
2 Tablespoons dried cranberries
6 raw or toasted almonds
1/2 teaspoon grated orange zest
1 Tablespoon brown sugar
How to make it
Bring milk, water, and salt to a rolling boil in a small sauce pan. Add oats and reduce to medium heat and cook for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add 1 Tablespoon of dried cranberries into the cooking oatmeal. After 5 minutes, remove from heat, and transfer to a serving bowl. Sprinkle with remaining cranberries, orange zest, almonds, and brown sugar.
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HOME MLB Chicago Cubs Gear Chicago Cubs Mens Chicago Cubs Mens Collectibles over $60 (16 items) Product ID: 1555377
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This Easton 2005 game-used glove have been personally signed by Aramis Ramirez of the Chicago Cubs. Item consist of one game used batting glove. Item was obtained directly from Aramis Ramirez and comes with a an individually numbered, tamper evident hologram from Fanatics Authentic.
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1908 $5 MS64 PCGS....Click the image to load the highest resolution version.
1908 Half Eagle, MS64
1908 $5 MS64 PCGS. The first year of the Indian design, with
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that the recessed design capture dirt and germs, spreading disease.
The popular TV show, Mythbusters, could have done an episode. This
Choice Mint State piece has brilliant, satiny yellow luster with
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Greetings all,
I'm looking at getting into a cross soon, and I've found way too much good info on this site... I'm thinking about either the Cross-check or Poprad...I know there have been a lot of different postings on these two bikes. But, I haven't really heard from anyone who has ridden both of these. I have an 05 Poprad at the LBS I can test out, but the Surly would have to be ordered. So, can anyone shed light on the difference in actual ride? I've had plenty of info on componentry, etc. but really am trying to figure out the feel, virtually that is. Too bad I can't just ride 'em both.
(FYI, I'm probably looking at 70% urban commute, 15% light touring, 15% light trail. I'm hoping to keep it under 1k, if I can. I'm about 5'11, 145 lbs, 32" inseam => 55-56 frame, I would think. Other rides I'm entertaining: Jamis Aurora/Nova, Bianchi Volpe/Axis, maybe Kona Jake/JTS but I'd rather have steel)
Thanks in advance for any help on this. Cheers!


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With the design improvements and addition of features such as 3G and GPS, the T-Mobile Sidekick LX 2009 graduates from a simple messaging handheld to a real connected, all-in-one communication device for the younger crowd.
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Daniel Terdiman hits the road yet again, this time to find the tech and science hot spots in the Rockies and Great Plains. You're invited to follow along on his travels--without getting the left-arm sunburn.
The T-Mobile Sidekick 4G continues the Sidekick's legacy as an excellent messaging device and also serves as a great entry-level smartphone.
With the new features, extra level of customization, and affordable price tag, the T-Mobile Sidekick is a good choice for the carrier's younger customers looking for an all-in-one communication device.
After the Federal Trade Commission filed a complaint against T-Mobile this week, CEO John Legere derided the agency's claims.
The charges come a month after T-Mobile unveiled a program to offer refunds to customers hit by premium text messages. T-Mobile calls the charges "unfounded."
At CTIA 2011, we finally get a chance to check out the new T-Mobile Sidekick 4G in person and find out new details regarding pricing.
T-Mobile Sidekick owners: it's time to shop around for a new device. The phones' data services are ending on May 31, 2011.
The T-Mobile Sidekick LX 2009 goes on sale nationwide starting Wednesday.
The T-Mobile Sidekick LX 2009 brings a number of design and feature enhancements to Sidekick series. Find out what's new in our First Look video.
CNET's hands-on photo gallery of the T-Mobile Sidekick LX 2009.


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2002 Ford F-150 • 180,000 miles
4.2L 6 cyl. Have goten appropriate engine codes and changed camshaft and crankshaft position sensors. Latest code is P1336 for open circuit or shorted to ground. Have tried reset/erase but comes back. My next try is to change the crank pos sensor since it has the warranty. Any further ideas to help?
January 14, 2013.
January 14, 2013.
Check out the related content below while we wait for the question to be answered by a professional mechanic.
Hi hope you can help, this is a general question. 2 wire sensors, crank and cam are referred to as inductive, magnetic, whilst 3 wire sensors are Hall effect. Can a inductive, magnetic ...
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2007 toyota camry 140k. Check engine light code Knock sensor. Reset and came back on right away. What could cause this other than the obviouse bad sensor or wire?
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Classic analogies Andy. I struggled with "the Colin aspect" thanks for that. I have posted on another thread Warlock to raise the bar. Started to type Warnock but it morphed into Warlock. Freudian slip or what. Old Warlock will need all his demonic powers to deal with the Arch Enemy. Strange bedfellows indeed.
Hmmm, what kind of a plonker references James Joyce on a football board!


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This 3-tier glass corner shelf blends style and function to create a beautiful home storage solution. Its fixed shelves provide ample space to organize your everyday essentials. These shelves are also perfect for displaying your collectibles and other knickknacks. The sleek corner design of this glass shelf saves valuable floor space. Its sturdy metal frame has an elegant chrome finish. This tempered glass corner shelf can hold up to 30 lbs. Requires simple assembly.
Sleek corner glass shelf has 4 surfaces for displaying and storing items
Makes a classy spot for a hanging plant or vase
Made of clear plate glass/steel
Assembly required; tools not needed
Features: Fixed Shelves, Corner Unit
Frame Material: Metal
Metal Finish: Chrome
Surface Material: Tempered Glass
Number of Shelves: 3
Maximum Shelf Weight Capacity: 30.000
Maximum Weight Capacity: 30.000
Care and Cleaning: Wipe Clean with Soap and Water
Dimensions: 31.500H x 13.750W x 13.750D
Weight: 10.500
Assembly Details: assembly required, no tools needed
other Info.
- Online Item #: 10426396
- Store Item Number (DPCI): 249-14-0317
- Made in the USA or Imported


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Watch This Video!
Jenny's paddling begins with her bent over, arms on each side of the chimney. It continues with her jeans pulled down under her reddening bottom. Eventually her panties are pulled down for maximum exposure. When Headmaster is finished she is posed, arms above her head, partially clothed, in the corner next to the chimney.
Stars: Jenny, Headmaster Tom
Three Little Lies
Watch This Video!
Linda is summoned to appear before Headmaster Tom and Mr. Haroldson, another teacher. As he questions her she promptly lies to him three times! She must now be punished with three implements: the hairbrush, the ruler and the tawse. Linda will also be completely naked. The Headmaster leaves Linda slumped over with her head in her hands.
Later, these three implements are lying on a chair when Mr. Haroldson brings Linda into the room fully nude. He begins her punishment with the ruler, continues with the hairbrush and finishes with the tawse. Linda is left sniffling on the chair in the fetal position.
Stars: Linda, Headmaster Tom, Mr. Haroldson
What Has To Be Done
Watch This Video!
We see Linda smoking in the bathroom. Headmaster Tom catches her and finds cigarette butts in the toilet. While the Headmaster goes to fetch Mr. Haroldson, Linda takes down her jeans and knickers for punishment. When the men return Mr. Haroldson gives Linda a good hard hand spanking over his knee. It lasts a very long time. He then leaves the room, and leaves Linda rubbing her sore bottom.
The Headmaster comes to inspect the punishment and finds that since there where two cigarettes there will be two punishments. And this second one will be more severe than the first at the Headmaster's orders. The Headmaster leaves Linda facing the toilet bowl so she can see her transgressions in the water.
Stars: Linda, Headmaster Tom, Mr. Haroldson
Mobile Phones
Watch This Video!
The Headmaster has left Claire to work on her exams but she has chosen to play with her mobile phone instead. When the Headmaster returns he quizzes Claire, saying he thought he heard a phone. She denies it but soon the ringer goes off and she is caught. She has been getting the answers from the phone but they are not even correct. This will require punishment and she will still have to take the exam again.
Claire undresses, places her clothes on the chair and prostrates her body across the table. Headmaster returns with the paddle. Claire's bottom is already red and raw from previous punishments. Headmaster gives Claire the option of more paddle or a spanking across the knees. She chooses across the lap for a hard hand spanking. When he's finished he leaves her lying across the chair as an example for the other girls – Emma and Rose - when they try to cheat. Every day is a learning day at GBS.
Stars: Rose, Emma, Claire, Headmaster Tom
Extremer Huttenzauber Vol. 2
Watch This Video!
What better mix than pain and pleasure? Whether that pain involves spanking implements or a good ole' ass slap, all that matters is that the two, three, or in some cases, multiple, partners involved get equal satisfaction out of their sexual exploits. This extreme sequel ensures that all parties have their fun!
The Pioneer Punishment
Watch This Video!
Kelly Payne Collection
While staying with his Aunt, he is caught stealing from the general store. Being such an upright citizen, she is appalled and embarrassed by his behavior. Mrs. Olsen accepts his apology, but wants him punished. So, his Aunt makes a deal with Mrs. Olsen that if she gives him a good licking she will forgive and forget and the Sherriff will not be called. So, he is punished severely in front of Mrs. Olsen and until Mrs. Olsen thinks he has learned his lesson. He is stripped down to his base bottom and given an over-the-knee spanking. He is then strung up with his arms and legs spread, and whipped with a carpet beater and a leather strap. Once again, he is turned over his Aunt's knee and paddled with her extra large wooden spoon. He is left sobbing and apologetic.
Stars: Kelly Payne
Watch This Video!
Lisa was enjoying herself. Wearing a bikini, she was making good use of the swimming pool. The blue water lapped around her and she held her beautiful face up to the sun. However, her enjoyment was not going to last. Mr. Lewis, a teacher at GBS had entered the kitchen and he was disgusted at the filthy state it was in. Calling Lisa indoors he asked why she was outside in the sun, swimming in the pool, when she should have been cleaning the kitchen. Her answer is not satisfactory so he gets her busy washing up.
In his hand he holds a cane and he uses the cane to keep her motivated. Her bikini bottom offers very little protection. And when he tells her to pull down them down, the red stripes become visible. After washing up, she has to clean the tabletops then the floor. As the cane makes contact with her bottom, she yells out. Once the kitchen is clean to his satisfaction, he tells her to kneel on the floor and bear in mind that she must in future do her chores first, then she can enjoy being outdoors.
Stars: Lisa, Mr. Lewis
The Stable Girl
Watch This Video!
Kelly Payne Collection
My Stable Girl hasn't been doing her job. My thoroughbreds are filthy, my riding is subpar, and the Barn's a mess. All dressed and ready for competition, I go to the barn to get my horse. As usual my lazy stable girl is napping and my horse is not saddled. This will be the last time she ever falls sleeps on the job. Instead of going to the competition I decide to teach her a lesson…one she will never forget. She is spanked over the knee bare-bottomed, tied up, strapped, and then bent over the hay bales and paddles until she is bawling her eyes out. This is a very hard spanking flick. Shot in a real barn outdoors in Michigan.
Stars: Denise, Kelly Payne
Sleeping Time
Watch This Video!
There's a lot of squeals and giggles – a pillow fight going on. Lisa and Emma are making so much noise they don't hear Headmaster Tom enter the room. He's surprised that this should be happening on a Tuesday evening – with classes scheduled the next day. Telling the naughty girls to settle down he leaves the room. No sooner had he closed the door behind him than Emma whispered something in Lisa's ear. Ten minutes later, Headmaster Tom has gone upstairs to check on the girls. Finding their room empty he goes on a naughty schoolgirl hunt. It doesn't take him long to find them again – he just had to follow the noise. This time he sees it as sheer defiance. So punishment must follow immediately.
Lisa is first and she is to receive a hard, hand spanking – over the knee. A few moments later, one young lady is standing facing the wall, with her knickers pulled down to her knees. She has a very sore looking bottom, deep red and blotchy. Now it is Emma's turn. Headmaster believes that she is the troublemaker, so she's going to get the cane. He leaves the two girls while he goes to fetch the cane. On his return, he orders Emma to bend over the bed. The cane leaves marks across both her cheeks – they are red and angry looking. Once the punishment is over, he tells Lisa to turn round and see how sore Emma's bottom is – warning her that if there is a next time, that's what she can expect. He leaves the two girls to settle down for the night. Judging by the silence, they have obviously obeyed him.
Stars: Lisa, Emma, Headmaster Tom
Greta's Training
Watch This Video!
Bizarre Video
Greta is a sweet innocent looking tart with a penchant to explore her submissive emotions and venture into a cognitive state she barely understands. She is drawn by the aura and mystique of servitude, control and the feeling of helplessness in the hands of a superior personality. Her introduction to submission is initiated by a dark and mysterious figure she knows only as the Professor. Her first hours of training are harsh and painful. Her new master explores the resolve of her mental state, through a heavy dose of the lash and paddle. To Complete Greta's training the professor gives her to his friend Lord Baldric to do with as he pleases. Greta experiences a different side of submission when Baldric uses her most tender intimate parts to pleasure himself.
Greta's first training day is dominated by the realization of what she has embarked on is going to be hard and rough, especially at the hands of the Professor, whom she barely knows. Greta succumbs to his ministrations as best she can. The sensations she is subjected to, and the commands she must carry out become an exhilaration that stimulates her senses and leaves her confused, sore and satisfied all at the same time. Her desire to serve the Professor becomes locked into her thoughts, though she struggles with what to do, say and think. She knows she must continue as the Professor's charge and becomes determine to try to please him.
Greta is back for another visit with the Professor. It starts off badly for her. After giving her best answers as a devoted submissive, she miss cues the professor's instructions. Now it's over a bench for her for another lesson about thinking as a submissive. She is thoroughly exposed to the professor's whip with her smooth round buttocks thrust upward to meet the rain of cascading strokes. The professor has another painful lesson for Greta. He asks her to decide how many times the whip will kiss her sweet posteriors as punishment for her errors. The poor girl is bewildered and confused as the stroke upon stroke sting her tender behind.
To Complete Greta's training the professors gives her to his friend Lord Baldric to do with as he pleases. Greta experiences a different side of submission when Baldric uses her mouth and tender pussy to pleasure himself. She finds herself bound and helpless. Her efforts to please Lord Baldric are encouraged through an ample application of the lash on her tender flesh.
The disheveled blond damsel is all tense and agitated, pacing the floor, waiting for her doctor to arrive. He applies a stimulating therapy in the course of the examination by manipulations to the girl's over-sensitized cavities. These tantalizing touches get her juices going and start her on the routine course of her treatment. The Doctor completes the therapy with a strong forceful dose of his organ. His patient swoons under his gyrating thrusts. When both he and his patient have climaxed he puts her back in her straight jacket with a promise to continue her therapy the next day
Stars: Greta, Baylock, Choky Ice


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Funny Or Die
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Watch the AMP Energy and Dale Earnhardt Jr. TV commercial from the Big Game pre-game show
Todlin & Cash, "3" (Dale is Gods driver) MUSIC VIDEO!!!!
Country superstars Lyle Todlin and Trigger Cash are back with yet another chart topping smash (That's 43 #1's now in case you are counting, WOW!). In this in...
Ghostrider #3: Runnin' with Dale
The ghost of the late 7-time NASCAR champion Dale Earnhardt cruises Manhattan in a Plymouth Acclaim looking for a race, any race. He shares a lifetime of le...
Mutumbo is Done, Yanks-Sox has just Begun
This week we stick it to Leon Powe and the Celtics, Erik Dampier, Tony Parker, Shaq, Phil Mickelson, Chein-Ming Wang, Charles Barkley, Mutombo, Rick Fox, the...
5 items
HBOs GIRLS of SILICON VALLEY
Sex Education
How to Use the F Word
Blind Taste Test
Business Work: New Initiative
Youth Relevance Training Video
How to be hip through one employee training video
Dips Compilation
Did you miss Dips? You can either go to Funnyordie.com/Dips or you can watch this insane video of all 300+ Dips strung together.
LeBron James - It's in My Blood
LeBron lives the way he plays... with similar results.
Roomies: Respecting Others (Episode 1)
Raul needs a place to stay. He meets Mike. Visit myspace.com/jivemechanics for more films.
Red State Update: Jail For Paris Hilton
Jackie and Dunlap discuss Paris Hilton. Will she or won't she do time? The RSU boys weigh in.
Roomies: Spooky Halloween Stories
Mike, Raul, and Mr. Isley tell Halloween stories.
Things Dale Jr Can Do
12 reasons why Dale Jr is greater than you and me.
BlueNecks Live at Gotham
Bubba & Skeeter discuss wine, PBS, and Madonna at the NASCAR Super-Speedway. Starring Mike Motz and David Minsky
Roommate of the Week: Ian Kelley
My roommate of the week
White Trash Heroes 3: NASCAR Mullets
Episode 3 takes a look back at how the heroes got such great haircuts. A heated battle follows at the annual NASCAR fantasy draft.
The Race Cards Episode 4: Sports are Racist!
In this episode the Japanesse sex robots that play Jacob and Ronald are talking sports! N.B.A., N.F.L., M.L.B., N.A.S.C.A.R. – we've got more acronyms in thi...
Burt Reynolds Watches the 2008 NASCAR Draft
Yea, I know, but it will make sense if you watch it. Trust me.