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Reports said the bombing of the Abdel-Aziz al-Samarrai mosque in Falluja culminated a six-hour battle in which, marines said, fighters in the mosque fired a rocket-propelled grenade that wounded five Marines. An F-16 then dropped a 225-kilogram bomb on the mosque perimeter and a helicopter fired a missile into the compound. There were varying reports of casualties. Associated Press reported that Iraqis said up to 40 people were killed. U.S. officials said no civilians died. An Associated Press reporter who went to the mosque said the minaret was standing, but damaged, apparently by shrapnel. The bomb blew away part of a wall, opening an entry for the marine assault. The reporter saw at least three cars leaving, each with a number of dead and wounded. Speaking on CNN, American Brig.-Gen. Mark Kimmitt said the mosque structure was not damaged. He said provisions of the Geneva Conventions that protect holy places during war were nullified when insurgents attacked U.S. Marines from the mosque. "When you start using a religious location for military purposes, it loses its protected status," he said.
Originally posted by Michael Ernest: I couldn't access that article, so I'm wondering if this is the response the US chose to the attacks on US nationals and soldiers a few days ago.
Originally posted by Shalu Ban: �We were pleased when the Americans overthrew Saddam's miserable regime but today our lives are worse than they were when he ruled in Baghdad.�
No wonder an Iraqi says
9) Proof by Limited Survey (Hasty Generalization Fallacy)
Originally posted by Shalu Ban: US - led forces did this
..Marchers - carrying colorful flags and banners reading, "Sons of the great Fallujah, we are with you on the road of jihad (holy war) and victory" - came upon the Marine cordon on the western entrance to the city. After searching the vehicles for weapons, the Marines allowed two ambulances full of medical supplies, two minibuses carrying vegetables and other food and a dozen cars with Sunni clerics and officials to enter the city.
if they are left to it then they gain ground, and if they are stopped they become "oppressed" and gain ground through propoganda.
Originally posted by Paul McKenna: Ok! This does it for me. After reading this, I dont really care anymore if US loses the war in Iraq. I mean if the US military would willingly supply food and medicine to its enemies then heck! why should I care? Maybe Jason can shed some light on this apparent stupidity.
Originally posted by Paul McKenna: Maybe Jason can shed some light on this apparent stupidity.
Originally posted by HS Thomas: A British judge has awarded �200,000 to 2 Kossovons who survived an onslaught by peace-keeping paras in Kossovo. British soldiers and politicians are aghast. Law and order.
Originally posted by Mapraputa Is: We already started. (Warning: lots of realistic pictures).
Originally posted by Mapraputa Is: Jason, try to imagine that the US has been occupied by a much stronger Muslim Army. Because they believed the US had some deadly weapon threatening them. They didn't find anything, but whatever... Really, who cares. There is a rebellion, you might even disagree with it, but seeing American kids being killed - is this something you would easily brush off? Really?
Originally posted by Bert Bates: How about a little diplomacy? This is a complicated situation no doubt, it's clear that the current administration is incapable of diplomacy - they come from 'unilateral coalition' , 'shock and awe' school.
Originally posted by Shalu Ban: The ultimate victims are innocent Iraqis and American soldiers who die. Who is responsible for their death? Is killing the only solution?
I read this post and i am amazed. I can only conclude that you are either
I hope the people who manage this board will not be cowards and delete my post, because if you do i will post again.
Originally posted by Mapraputa Is: A few destroyed buildings shocked America so much, that it said never be the same. How about watching your city being bombed for a month? And then 12 years of sanctions, when 60% of population had to rely on food ration? Are you sure you would be as rational as you are now, if you had to watch all this happening to your country?
Originally posted by Eugene Kononov: Victor Hess to Jason: I read this post and i am amazed. I can only conclude that you are either Jason's responsibility, among other things, is to preserve the civility of the discussions here in MD, and he does it rather well, considering the diversity of people, topics, and points of view. Your post, on the other hand, is full of diverse labels with no common theme or sense. I happen to disagree with Jason most emphatically on the issue of this discussion, but resorting to standard name calling can hardly help anyone's cause. Do you know that it is within the Geneva Conventions to bomb a holy place if the enemy is firing from there? Perhaps all the countries subscribing to these conventions exposed their citizens to too much of the ultraviolet light? [ April 13, 2004: Message edited by: Eugene Kononov ]


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A group of American Walloon cousins who visited Belgium in 1972 and returned last month are welcomed to a reception at the Palace of Congress on Oct. 27.
- Filed Under
Twenty-six Walloon residents of Wisconsin recently spent a week in the land of their ancestors - Wallonia in southern Belgium.
They were received like kings from the families of Destree, Conard, Denamur, Thiry, and others.
At the Abbey of Floreffe, they enjoyed an excellent party of drinking beer and playing cards. ...

subset: commoncrawl


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Kids' Layers
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David Coats
Research Fellow
Smith Institute
1983, LLB and 1986, LLM, Faculty of Laws, University College London. 1999-2004: Head, Economic and Social Affairs Department, Trades Union Congress; 2000-04, Member of the UK's Low Pay Commission; 2004-10, Associate Director, The Work Foundation; since 2005, Member of the Central Arbitration Committee (the UK's Industrial Court). Since 2010, Research Fellow, The Smith Institute. Interests: macro-economic policy, labour market policy, low pay and in-work poverty, employment relations. Former Member, Global Agenda Council on Growth, Employment and Social Protection, World Economic Forum.


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Albuquerque, NM (Sports Network) - Alex Kirk had 23 points and eight rebounds
as No. 25 New Mexico took a hard-fought 65-60 win over UNLV in Mountain West
Conference action.
Tony Snell scored 13 points while Kendall Williams added 11 points and four
boards for the Lobos (14-2, 1-0 MWC), who played for the first time since a
New Year's Eve loss to Saint Louis.
Khem Birch and Anthony Bennett each scored 12 points for the Rebels (13-3,
0-1), who had won their previous two coming in.
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A woman was injured in a crash near 67th Street and Blue Ridge Boulevard early Sunday.
Police said the woman was driving an SUV through the area about 3 a.m. when she struck a power pole and then crashed into a sign at a convenience store.
The section of Blue Ridge Boulevard was shut down in both directions while police investigated the wreck.
Police did not release the woman's name or additional information about her injuries.
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Ask Paul: Five Great Guitars for Under $500, Part 2
Ask Paul: Five Great Guitars for Under $500, Part 2
With all the precise automation in guitar manufacturing, it's hard to find poorly made guitars. Here are 3 of 5 cool choices for less than $500. Read about the other 2 guitars here.
In my last post, I started to answer the often-asked question, "Hey, Paul, can you name some good guitars for under $500?"
I offered two models that fit the bill for "metal/shred" (Schecter Guitars Damien Elite, $499) and "classic" (Epiphone Les Paul Traditional Pro, $499).
Here are three more guitars you (four, actually, because of a tie), namely my choices for "acoustic," "all-arounder" and "quirky."
3. ACOUSTIC: Taylor Guitars GS Mini, $499
I often find myself on the couch playing guitar while watching TV, and this Taylor is the ultimate couch-potato-friendly-acoustic. The action is low and the sound is big, despite its slightly diminutive size.
Now, don't get me wrong; there are other great, full-size acoustics out there for less than $500 that I'll discuss in a future post, but I'm a slacker, so I'm picking a guitar that caters to shiftless guys like me.
When I do find myself motivated, I can tell you that the GS Mini is great for higher altered tunings and perfectly setup to practice finger-style acoustic playing. And if you want to amplify it, spring for Taylor's optional ES-Go magnetic pickup ($98).
4. ALL-AROUNDER (TIE): ESP LTD ST203 Electric Guitar - Distressed Three Tone Sunburst, $349 and ESP LTD ST203FR Electric Guitar - Distressed Black, $399
The reason for the tie? It's because of the category. Meaning, you can play just about any type of music with these guitars, depending upon the what kind of player you are. If you're more of a vintage player, the ST-203 is great with its three single-coil pickups and some updated features such as the flatter neck radius and jumbo frets. If you're a modern player, you'll cover more ground on the ST-203FR with a humbucking pickup, two single coils and the much-revered double-locking Floyd Rose tremolo.
Regardless of the fact that their distressed finishes look as though they've been through two phony world tours, ESP guitars have some of the best fretwork in the business, and these more affordable LTD guitars are no exception for precision shredding at any local stadiums.
5. QUIRKY: Danelectro '56 Single Cutaway / Dolphin Headstock Electric Guitar, $349
I find the retro-looking Danelectro '56 Cutaway guitar works well if you occasionally play slide or are in an alternative band that pursues atypical guitar tones. This '56 comes equipped with humbucking and single-coil lipstick pickups that deliver both those sounds but in a more raw and wide-open way. Its red flat finish feels slick, and the dolphin headstock looks cool with its plastic tuners. There's also a '56 cutaway with the Full Bell headstock that has more polish, but I feel more at home with the pawn shop vibe of this Dolphin headstock model.
Paul Riario on Paul Riario: I try very hard to remain under the radar, despite being on camera as gear editor at Guitar World; but in this age of social media, it was only a matter of time before it came to this. So with that, I'll make my blog painless and a quick and easy read so you can get onto more important things like practicing guitar and sweep picking. Or, if you're like me, getting tiger blood transfusions and figuring out how to be Olivia Wilde's boy toy. I'll use this blog to inform you of things I find cool, like new gear I'm playing through and what I'm watching, reading or listening to at any given moment. So feel free to ask me anything that's gear-related — or if you have a problem with your girlfriend, ya know, life-lesson stuff, I'm pretty good at that too — and I'll do my best to answer or address it here.
Five Great Guitars for Under $500, Part 2
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September 05, 2012 at 8:13pm
Cracker please, no wiggle sticks on any of them, I like to buy old vintage Epiphone ea 250's bodies off ebay and build them as i dang well please, I've got one loaded with 3 dano p'ups and a Floyd for a bridge and a fantastic custom neck built by a Gibson trained Luthier to my specs, , another loaded with TV Jones Gretsch p'ups and a Bigs, (Carvin 25" mahog neck thru, yes I gave the hollow body a neck enema) and another in progress, it'll have a Jackson Floyd liscensed bridge and TV Jones T'Armond p'ups fore and aft and a Gretsch n the mid, and a bolt on Mity Mite neck.
Why do all that? First UR working with very old but affordable bodies (tone), second you get instruments with unique character, and the price of admission is about $650 per axe, but the Chinese are not invited.
Of course you also need to pop for some Luthier training and a few thou worth of tools, but guess what, you can do other things with the tools, a chunk of my income comes from handyman work on peoples houses and tools is tools.
And of course talent is required as well, that can't be bought but can be brought along thru sheer practice. I just wish more players would involve themselves in piecing together their own instruments (Eddie didit), it seems to be a dying art per USA and that's arguably the last place that should happen, being USA gave this Planet LP's and Strat's and Dano's and a boatload of great guitar designs...ex.PRS kicks some butt...
December 01, 2011 at 6:05am
I'll have to disagree with the LTD's being one of the top 5. I have a Squier Classic Vibe 60's Strat which is much better than the LTD. I bought it over a year ago at my local Guitar Center and I did try out both of them before I made my purchase. The Squier is better made, sounds much better, and is IMO, a all around much better versatile guitar. Even though it's Chinese made, the quality of the build and the sound of the pickups, leaves it's MIM Fender Standard counterpart, in the dust, and could give some of Fender's MIA models a run for their money as well.
November 27, 2011 at 12:44pm
Hey Paul:
I know this was only part 1 but let's jump right into part 2 or 3.
There the ubiquitous Fender MIM Strat or Tele. Of course, there are also the Fender Blacktops and some of the better Squiers.
There's the Ibanez RG 350/370 series. There is also some of the Steinberger "headless" style guitars for around $400, and in the metal category don't forget about ESP's KH-202.
Just some thoughts and lots of love to you!
November 26, 2011 at 1:33pm
When someone asks me to recommend an inexpensive but well-made, reliable guitar—acoustic or electric—I always think of Godin first, and Godin's various brands (Seagull, etc.). They're made in North America, use quality parts, and hold up well. Also, if we have to stay under $500, MIM Fender instruments are quite good, and again made in North America. (If you can't shop local, shop continental!)
November 26, 2011 at 12:41pm
Paul - usually I think you're on the right track, but I recently tried an ESP LTD ST203, and it definitely was not a good guitar. The construction was poor, the neck and fret job was dreadful, and it sounded cheap and weak. As far as budget Strat copies go, the Squier Classic Vibe and Vintage Modified Strats were definitely better made all around and they certainly sounded better. Maybe I got an ESP that wasn't set up right, or maybe it was made on a bad day at the factory. But the Squier CV's and VM's are much, much better guitars in a lot of ways. I hate to disagree with you because I mostly find that you are on target, but you missed out here.
Dr Gonzo
August 04, 2011 at 4:09pm
Hey Paul,
Big fan of your reviews. I picked up a pretty sweet, inexpensive, honest-to-god Gibson a while back and was just curious if you had gotten to try one, and what you thought.
It's a Les Paul Studio 60's Tribute Goldtop. Similar to some other models it has a thin nitro finish, not really 'worn' as they claim, just not glossy like more spendy Lesters. 2 P-90 pickups, 60's slim taper neck, and all the other requisite LP hardware. Mine has a 2 piece mahogany body, though 3 piece bodies seem to be the most common. It is a very sharp looking axe,not overly fancy, with the goldtop being (to me)the best looking of the available finishes. The P-90's sound great, and the guitar plays very nicely. The kicker was the price, $850 brand spanking new!! The same model in an SG can be had for $750. They are absolutely Made in USA, and a heck of a value, especially if you love the bark and snarl of good P-90's.
Your thoughts?
June 09, 2011 at 9:01am
Paul Im a huge fan!
Your reviews are the coolest ever!
About this article, I consider that this information is very very valueable for people with a low budget(like me) who NEEDS to play and to express the rock star inside! Those Ltds are great guitars! I found a LTD H-500 for around 500 and I felt like winning the lotto, and I use it trough a Line6 30watts Spider 4, and everytime I play I have the sensation of being using a super custom shop ESP trough a marshall stack.
Thanks for the gear reviews, tips and kind words
Best Holiday Rock Song Poll: "Do They Know It's Christmas" (Band Aid) Vs. "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" (John Lennon)1 hour 19 sec ago
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Best Holiday Rock Song Poll: "Thank God It's Christmas" (Queen) Vs. "Christmas with the Devil" (Spinal Tap)1 day 1 hour ago


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Lost Legends and Forgotten Country Music Classics. (40s - 80s)
Welcome to True Country Classics! Broadcasting in CD quality/128 kbps. My name is Bobby Kane ... owner, host, voice, program/music director and everything else. It's called 'Bin-Box Radio'. It means no BS talk~talk, just some station promos and lots more classic Country music. For Premium Listeners (VIP), it's ALL music and NO commercials! Many voices you'll hear come from FIVER.com. Some BIO info on me? Sure. I grew up in San Jose, Ca. Although she grew up in the Big Band era and loved the music, my mother listened to Country music KEEN Radio in San Jose. It was always playing ... LOUD! She turned out to be my biggest biggest influence. I started my Country Music radio career at KTOM Radio, Salinas (central Cal.) in the mid 70s. Enough said. Now I'll talk about TCC (True Country Classics). You'll hear songs from the 40s through the 80s. Classic Country, Western, Honky Tonk, Bluegrass and Hill-Billy. It's easy picking top hits but the most fun is selecting songs that didn't hit the top 10, some that barley charted! There are a few songs I play that never hit any Country chart. "What?" That's right. They should have but never did. Some of those old music guys must have had their Country Music ears up their ying-yangs! Mostly traditional Country music during the week (Mon-Thur) but on weekends my music is All-In! I play every song in my vast Country music library and I expand my play list with special Weekend Only Play songs, Classic Moments, First Hits, medleys and just plain fun Country songs. You never know what you might hear! By the way, All-In Country Music Weekends start Fridays. I tried to get Bar J Wranglers with their Sons of The Pioneers harmonies to do my new jingles but they were just too busy. They're very popular and great! Maybe in the future (I hope anyway.) Listen for their music right here. LCR Jingles came through for me. They were produced by Chris Seal. Good job Chris, Steve (lead singer) and the TCC boys. NEW: #1 Tumbs-Up songs! Songs that receive multiple thumbs-up votes in one day. These songs will be featured by being played 8 times in one day shortly thereafter. It may sound silly but it's true ... "The More You Listen, The More You'll Like What Ya' Hear!" For requests, comments, etc, email using Pony Express (on the TCC website) or follow us on Twitter via our website: www.TrueCountryClassics.com. * A final thought from me: "Times were easier back then. We ALL went forward. Things didn't seem as backwards as they are now. Things made sense then. We were proud to be Americans, thank god most of us still are. I hope these songs help bring back fabulous memories of YOUR best times." Bobby Kane


text: technology This App Aids Your Decision-Making By Mimicking Its Creator's Synesthesia Choicemap founder Jonathan Jackson has a cognitive condition that allows him to instantly understand how his priorities influence his decisions. He's built an app to help the rest of us do the same. Read More » By Sarah Kessler


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~Chapter One~
First Impressions
'So elegant….' Kai trailed off, ascending the fifth set of staircase that morning. Behind her, perfect gatherings of young girls giggled and smoothed down the few creases on their flawless uniform which, incidentally, costed more than her entire wardrobe. Underneath the coarse sole of her black leather pumps, the solid marble steps echoed the sound of her movement - not that anyone would care to acknowledge the only commoner within the prestigious CrossOver Academy.
Thanks to her astounding mark on the entry exam, Kai Riley had managed to secure herself a permanent position within the halls of the best ranked private school in England. Naturally, exquisite fees are necessary for pupils to keep their place there, but luckily for Kai, the school's head had been a close friend of her father's and thus, offered her a free position - should she pass the entry examination with flying colours.
With mammoth sized, leather bound books underneath her arm, she flew up the remaining steps and cautiously stopped before the biggest room she had ever laid eyes on. Framed with a dark shade of mahogany, the two heavy doors were etched with intricate drawings of what appeared to be flowers.
The left door stood slightly ajar.
Human beings unfortunately possess a trait called curiosity which sometimes, can land you in the most dangerous and unfortunate situations. Kai was no exception. With her slim fingertips- dry from years of book pages- she prised open the door, hoping to land upon a deserted, cosy room upon which she could resume her reading.
Instead, she found her eyes focusing on the most posh, pompous and wealthy group sitting in the array of a semi-circle. All boys, wearing ridiculously white blazers and polished squeaky black shoes which were clearer than the mirrors back at her home.
Seven pairs of sharp eyes swivelled in her direction.
"….And suddenly, my day just got a whole lot more interesting" One of the seven blinked, his head cocked to one side. "Did you stumble here by accident or are you here to entertain us?"
She struggled to find an answer which could suppress the amount of humiliation which weighed on her shoulders. "S-Sorry…It appears I've wandered into the wrong room. I'll, Uhm. Let myself out," the words came out as almost a croak.
"Wait- Miss! Be caref-"
Before Kai could apprehend what he was saying, the sudden weight of the books slipped from her arm, landing with a piercing pain onto the tip of her foot. From the sudden jolt, she stepped back, and the bottom of her pumps gave way on the spotless floor. Her body fell and as her arm flew out to soften the fall - she knocked the vase resting on a granite stand to come crashing down with her.
"Kevin. Get me a wet cloth from the kitchen. Ryan - dustpan and brush please. Sweep up the remains of the vase and dispose of the pieces downstairs," A deep voice ordered his authority which was obviously higher than the rest.
"Well, that's the annual auction ruined,"
Kai groaned, writhing on the floor. Her head throbbed with a pounding headache and as the boys around her murmured, she tried to focus her blurry eyes onto the figure crouched beside her body. He was undoubtedly attractive - dark brown strands of hair mussed unevenly here and there. High cheekbones and smooth skin which contrasted against the green iris's fixated on Kai.
Opening her mouth, she was about to protest her innocence when the boy beside her placed his finger on her lips, ushering a scary silence which not only filled her mind, but the whole room.
"And as for you, Miss. Don't even think about running away. Rest, for now. And when you awaken you will face the seven of us and decide upon how you are going to repay the damage,"
With those final words, he arose from his position, dusted his blazer clean and strode off in such a manner that Kai contemplated who he was. As the pain from her head slowly decreased, she felt her eyes slip into an alluring but confusing sleep, along with one last thought.
Im going to be in a hell of a lot of trouble when I wake up.
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11/09/2012 at 1:41 am
Excellent shot!
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11/09/2012 at 3:37 am
Soooo pretty…
Flickr: GammaBlog says:
11/09/2012 at 11:43 am
I knew I had to run up to my roof when my kitchen turned orange.
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The death of a man found Tuesday in a burning car at Valley Creek Park has been ruled a suicide, an El Paso police spokesman said Friday afternoon.
The cause of death was not immediately available.
On Tuesday afternoon, the body was found by firefighters responding to a 911 call about a car on fire at the park on Gomez Road in the Upper Valley.
Police initially treated the case as a homicide until it was ruled otherwise.


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Stay Connected Anywhere
MANHATTAN, Kan. – K-State volleyball's Kaitlynn Pelger was named Big 12 Defensive Player of the Week for the week of September 16, the conference office announced.
Pelger was the only Big 12 player to rank in the top 10 in both blocks and digs per set last week. The Olathe, Kan. native was second in blocks with 1.8 blocks per set and 10th in digs with 3.50 digs per set. She also helped K-State limit its opponents to a combined .152 hitting percentage over three matches, including a .060 hitting percentage at Arkansas on September 20. Pelger had a season-high nine blocks in the match against the Razorbacks.
This is the second week in a row in which a Wildcat has earned a Big 12 Player of the Week award. Redshirt freshman Katie Brand was named the conference's Rookie of the Week for the week of September 9.
The Big 12 weekly award is the sixth for Pelger in her career but first Defensive Player of the Week honor. The middle blocker has earned four Offensive Player of the Week honors and one Rookie of the Week award. She is the first Wildcat to be named the Big 12's Defensive Player of the Week since Alex Muff on September 20, 2010.
In 13 matches this season, Pelger is averaging 1.04 blocks and 2.7 digs per set, both of which are the second-most on K-State among players that qualify. She is also averaging a team-best 2.74 kills, 0.82 assists and 0.38 aces over her 50 sets played.
Pelger became just the sixth player in K-State history to register 1,300 career kills last weekend when she had seven kills against Arkansas. The Big 12's active leader in career kills has 1,326 entering this weekend's conference opener at West Virginia on September 27.
Pelger and the 12-1 Wildcats will have one last opportunity to tune-up for their Big 12 schedule when they take on the Italian U-23 National Team in an exhibition match in Ahearn Field House on Tuesday, September 24. The match starts at 7 pm. Italy is prepping for the 2013 FIVB Women's U23 Volleyball World Championship, which will be held in Tijuana, Mexico from October 5-12.


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Two AFS Members appointed to the 2014 U.S. Commerce Department Regional Fishery Councils
The U.S. Commerce Department today announced the appointment of 22 new and returning members to the eight regional fishery management councils that partner with NOAA's Fisheries Service to manage ocean fish stocks. Established by the Magnuson-Stevens Fishery Conservation and Management Act, the councils act to prepare fishery management plans for marine fish stocks in their regions. Council members represent diverse groups, including commercial and recreational fishing industries, environmental organizations and academia, and they carry out the act's requirements to end overfishing, rebuild fish stocks, and manage them sustainably. "All of us at NOAA Fisheries are eager to start working with our new council members, and to continue the work we've been doing with returning members," said Eileen Sobeck, assistant NOAA administrator for fisheries. "The partnerships we have with the councils are more important than ever in order to continue the positive momentum we've been making with federally managed species in recent years."
Elizabeth "Libby" M. P. Etrie of Massachusetts, has been appointed serve on an at-large seat on the New England Council, which includes members from Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and Rhode Island.
John J. Henderschedt, has been reappointed to serve on the obligatory seat (state specific) for the North Pacific Council (which includes members from Alaska and Washington.)


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Experience the world with Kala Tours and Travels, serving your needs, with futuristic ideas and planning, just click on where you want to you go and we take you there.
Best Prices Near You. Early Bird Offers, Special Discounts to Regular Customers, Surprise Gifts to travellers .
Air Ways , Rail Ways, Road Ways & Star Cruise.
Copyright © Kalaproduction.com 2002-2009


text: Originally posted by Mohan Karthick: Friends please let me know. I am working on following- Adobe LC Design ,weblogic Portal development, BEA WLI BEA ALDSP 2.5 Aqualogic Data service platform BEA ALSB 2.6 Aqualogic service Bus Can any body guide the demand and exposure of above tools, I thing exp. in hibernate and spring will be more usefull let me know the scope of bea products


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is an hilarious app that has many of the great one-liners' from Ireland and its people. These pearls of Irish wit, humour and Irish sayings are delivered to you by Sean, a local Irish character from the west of Ireland who has all the best one-liners' from down the years. It's a great app to share with your friends in a bar, if you're making a toast at a party or a wedding, or even just to give yourself a quick laugh during the day. It's a little piece of Ireland in your pocket.Enjoy this slice of Irish life and wit.
Ciaran Reilly is an Irish actor and writer and 'Ireland's Greatest Oneliners' is the first app that he has developed. He thought it would be a great way to share the many great sayings and one-liners he has heard from friends, family and relations usually at late night sing songs and storytelling sessions in Ireland down the years. .


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Burton Jet Set Spruce Green 10K Snowboard Jacket
Item # 194852
Buy 1 Get 1 50% off
Stash Points: 0
What is this?This is the number of points you get in The Zumiez Stash for purchasing this item. Stash points are redeemable for exclusive rewards only available to Zumiez Stash members. To redeem your points check out the rewards catalog on thestash.zumiez.com.
The Burton Jet Set jacket is back for round two for the 2013 snowboarding season.
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Great TV for the money!
By Rpull
from Clinton, MS
About Me Enthusiast
Comments about Panasonic VIERA 42" X1 Series Plasma Black Flat Panel HDTV:
To early yet to make many adjustments to the settings. NonHD channels come across very clear.
Bottom Line Yes, I would recommend this to a friend
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great plasma
By jd operator
from elgin il.
About Me Power User
this tv is perfect.highly recommended
Beautiful Picture!
By Tweety
from Far south Chicago suburbs
About Me Casual User
The picture on this television is stunning! Amazing depth of colors and very simple to program and use the menu options. Great buy at a great price.
Service and delivery comments:
Delivery was prompt, and very efficient. My delivery personnel were very nice. Great service from the time of sale to actual delivery, outstanding job!
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Great Product
By Certs One
from Chicago area
This is our primary television, used in the den with lots of windows and skylights. The picture never fades out. The ability to adapt the size and shape of the picture is very useful for diffferent kinds of signals and content. An excellent product.
Delivery was remarkably fast (next day)and installation terrific, including connecting existing components.
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Anyway, has anyone found any of the in game cheats yet? I heard for all characters you should enter "cast" but I can't confirm it since I have not tried it yet.
Oh, and a very special "Thank you!" to the Cheathappens crew. I seriously didn't think we would get a trainer for this game since it isn't a big game but I really appreciate you making it.
[Edited by Lizml86, 11/28/2012 7:58:34 PM]
At the main menu, select "Options", choose "Cheat", and enter one of the following codes to activate the corresponding cheat function. Note: Enabling codes will disable the ability to save the game.
Level select RMTE
All characters in Multiplayer mode CAST
All weapons in Multiplayer mode DKSD
All weapons in Single Player mode GTSM
All costumes WRDB
Infinite ammunition GGTY
Maximum money PWTR
One shot kills MNKY


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Our leadership has been regularly recognized, and the firm has won numerous industry awards during its long history. Learn more about our lines of business:
Additionally, the Service Group operates as a fully integrated team within the respective lines of business.


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DNA analysis of human skeletal remains a... - Complex Object ()
DNA analysis of human skeletal remains associated with the Batavia mutiny of 1629 / Padillah Yahya
Yahya, Padillah
In this thesis human skeletal remains believed to be the victims of the Batavia Mutiny of 1629 were subjected to DNA analysis. So far the remains of 10 individuals (of which 9 were available for this study) have been exhumed from Beacon Island, in the Houtman's Abrolhos, off the coast of Western Australia. The remains are now stored in the Western Australia Maritime Museum (WAMM) in Fremantle. In this research an attempt is made to type ancient DNA (aDNA) from the remains of the Batavia Mutiny, which are almost 400 years old. Previous anthropological studies have been performed on these remains in order to assign sex, age and stature. The aim of the present project is to study the familial relationships of the remains and to determine their sex based on molecular genetic analysis. In order to protect the invaluable museum specimens and minimise the risk of contamination from exogenous contemporary DNA, a tooth sample from each available individual (designated A15507, A16316, A15831, M3901, SK5, SK6, SK7, SK8 and SK9) was subjected to DNA extraction. Comparison and optimisation of DNA extraction methods from more recent teeth samples was performed in order to determine the most suitable method for the DNA extraction of the ancient teeth samples. Three types of genetic markers were analysed in an attempt to study the familial relationships and determine the sex of each individual. Multiplex primers (Hummel, 2003) which simultaneously amplify the HV1 and HV2 regions of mitochondrial DNA (mtDNA) were used in this research to analyse familial relationships. These primers were selected because of their ability to amplify small fragments (131bp, 168bp and 217bp) of DNA template, which suit the nature of aDNA samples. Primers published by Sullivan et al.(1993), which amplify a 106bp region on chromosome X and 112bp on chromosome Y of the amelogenin gene, were used to
determine sex. In addition, short tandem repeat (STR) marker were also analysed to determine familial and sex using the AmpFlSTR®Profiler PlusTMPCR kit from Applied Biosystems. The PCR conditions of all primers were optimised before usage on the Batavia remains. As aDNA analysis is prone to contamination, stringent precautions were undertaken throughout this research. Despite this, contamination is suspected in some of the mtDNA sequences obtained (particularly from SK5, SK7, A15507 and A15831), which most probably came from the positive control used in the optimisation analysis. For these samples the sequences for the HV2 region were poor and polymorphisms relative to a reference were similar to each other and to the positive control profile. However, some conclusions have been made on other individuals (SK8, SK9, M3901, A16316) based on the HV1 and HV2 sequences obtained. Based on two or more different polymorphisms observed in the individuals it was concluded that it is likely there is no maternal relationship between individuals A16316 and SK8, SK9 and M3901 and between individuals SK8, M3901 and SK9. However these results require repetition for confirmation. The attempt to type the amelogenin gene on chromosomes X and Y was unsuccessful most likely due to the poor preservation of the remains. It is apparent from this research that although it was possible to extract aDNA (especially multicopy mtDNA) from teeth material that were almost 400 years old, the main hurdle in this aDNA analysis was contamination and DNA degradation.
DNA, Fossil
Human skeleton--Analysis
Shipwrecks--Western Australia--Houtman Abrolhos
Centre for Forensic Science
Thesis (M.For.Sc.)--University of Western Australia, 2008
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For the James's, Janelle's, and Jessica's in our lives
Thank you for the passion and the pain alike
Thank you for inspiring us
January 1 - 4:00 AM
Uptown, Harlem
"Why did you come here?" came a slow gargled female voice on the other end of the phone. "You shouldn't have come here."
It was 4 AM on New Year's Day in New York City and I had just ducked inside of the 145th Street train station to shield myself from the cold when an unknown number blinked on my cell phone screen.
"Who is this?" I asked.
"Janelle who?"
"It's Janelle. You shouldn't have come here… You cheated on me."
"Whoa. Hey, I've done a lot of things to hurt you, but I never cheated on you."
"Yes you did! You cheated on me! Why did you come??"
She was audibly crying on the other end.
Suddenly another voice spoke on the phone.
"Junior, It's LaKiesha. Let me call you back."
"Is everything all right??" I asked.
"Yea, it's fine. Let me call you back." LaKiesha abruptly hung up.
"She thinks… I cheated on her…" My mind was swimming in thoughts. Against my better judgment, I realized what I had to do.
December 31 - 10:00 PM
Downtown, New York Financial District
"James, you sure you don't wanna come with us?" Katrina asked as she tugged on my arm.
"No way dude… What if she's there? There's no way I could be in the same room with her." I replied.
It was New Year's Eve. I met up with my best friend Yves, Yves' girlfriend Katrina and a bunch of our friends in a loft downtown to drink together since we were all going to different parties later that night.
As we made our way to the Fulton Street subway station, Katrina was still trying to convince me to come to a party at which Jessica was supposed to be. "James, listen," (I don't know why she calls me James. It is my name, James McDonald Jr., but all of my friends call me Junior.) Katrina continued, "The best thing would be for her to see you happy, with a bunch of girls, having fun!"
Jessica Martinez was the love of my life. She was "the one". The one you wrote poetry for. The one you told your grandmother about. The one you bragged about to strangers. The one who dumped me a month ago...
In the week prior to the breakup, I was under fire at my shitty executive assistant job with the bosses from hell. The position was insufferable and the strain of me hating the job and me hating myself for being stuck in the job had been spilling over into my personal relationships for months. I was short with my friends. With my family, I had little tolerance for anything that might upset me. There were several moments during this time when I would snap if my plastic grocery bag handle ripped, if my iPhone was too slow loading something, if I spilled something, if I missed my train. The smallest of annoyances would send me into violent whirlwinds of rage I had never before felt at any point in my life. Of course, I had my moments like anyone else, but never before had I been so unable to compose myself and surely never as often as has been the norm during these past few months. The stress and anger came to a head during the last week of November when I found out one of my bosses was intent on having me fired.
My boss Samantha Sturgis was a miserable human being-the type of human being who delighted in others' misfortune but never overtly. Only those in the company who were unfortunate enough to work directly with her were exposed to her vindictiveness. She sat ten feet away from me but would send me emails like "I thought you were going to have this project completed by five o'clock?" I would reply "I'm printing it out and will have it to you shortly." I found out later that she was blind copying the department head on emails like these. He would see her emails to me but would never see my replies. After months of emails like these, it was clear to him and to the human resources department that I was incompetent and incapable of fulfilling the requirements of the job even without proof that I was not getting my tasks completed.
I was also required to inform her whenever I left my desk because she claimed I was never there when she attempted to contact me. This included not only trips to the mailroom and marketing department but also trips to the lunchroom and the restroom. This was a small sampling of my every day dealings with her. Couple this with my monthly disciplinary meetings with HR in which the director would say things like, "Samantha says that your tasks are fairly simple and yet you seem to be struggling. Why is that?" She never brought up the fact that no single person had ever lasted in my position for more than four months and that I had been there for over a year. "When there is high turn over in a single position, are the seven assistants at fault or the one manager?" I wanted to ask her.
I was called into another one of these meetings in that last week of November where the HR director and my bosses informed me that this was my final warning and that any injunction whatsoever including being five minutes late to work, taking ten additional minutes to finish a project, or not notifying them when I went to use the bathroom would result in my immediate termination without severance pay.
I knew it was unfair and after giving it some thought I was resolved to fight back by doing everything they asked, documenting it and saving every degrading email correspondence even as each minute spent in that building ate away at my dignity. After two days of this however, I found myself so pent up with rage that I would walk to work hoping someone would bump into me so I could loudly curse them out, punch them in the face or shove them into oncoming traffic…
It was at that exact moment when I really understood what this job was doing to me and decided I would rather be dead broke and happy than to put up with their bullshit for another single day. I walked in the same day and quit without giving notice. Not to the company. Not to Jessica either...
I called her the moment I left the building with my bag of
belongings and stolen office supplies.
"Babe… I just quit my job." I was relieved at the thought of having my life back. "I want to come up to see you and…"
"You did WHAT?!"
She didn't sound happy. Wallowing in my own misery for weeks, I hadn't even given thought to how she would react. What made matters worse was that we hadn't been talking for almost a week because, in my volatile state, I managed to pick a fight with her every time we spoke.
"I think I need to take some time to figure this out…" she said.
"Are you… breaking up with me? Baby, please…" I couldn't believe it. "Baby, not right now. I need you…" I couldn't understand how my life could come to such a screeching halt in just a matter of days. "I tried," I remember her saying, "I'm sorry Junior. I tried. But I can't do this anymore."
Now it was the night of December 31st and I was a complete mess; fully lost in misery after losing my job and losing my Love. On top of it all, I eventually lost my apartment in the two weeks following the breakup. Seeing the woman who left me to drown in all my pain and grief and sadness, the same woman who could save me with a single embrace, it would be too much for me to bear.
"No, it's ok." I said, effectively and finally turning down the offer, "I'll hit you guys up later. Maybe we can meet back up."
"Aight dude," Yves said, giving me a dap, "We're probably gonna grab hookah or something around 3 so hit me up."
"Aight homie." We each went our separate ways.
I actually had no idea where I was going. I ruled out the possibility of going to an expensive party at a nightclub because I didn't have money. There were two house parties I knew of but neither of the hosts returned my texts for more info. As I wandered in no particular direction, I noticed that all of the city's partygoers were wearing their ties and hard bottom shoes, their little black dresses and five-inch heels. I decidedly dressed down, wearing a blue cardigan with a white t-shirt underneath, Levis jeans and Timberland boots, my outfit matching my life's status-middle of the road. I didn't even get a fresh haircut. My shaggy little afro was as unkempt as my unironed clothes. I just didn't give a shit anymore. Ironically, Jessica bought me the cardigan this past summer during her trip to Europe, but I hadn't worn it until now. "Way to start anew, Junior…" I thought. No matter what I did or where I was, it was like she was there. When I tried to sleep, I would abruptly wake in cold sweats. The nightmare of her leaving me played over and over again in the theater of my mind. When awake, the nightmares just turned into daymares and made it impossible to eat.
I shook my head trying to physically free it of the haunting memories that had plagued me for weeks on end. Just then I got a text from my friend Alexis. "Oh sorry for the late reply Jr! This party is actually wrapping up. We're all headed uptown to May's party." This was not the answer I had been looking for. I called her to find out more info.
I could hear several voices on the other end when she picked up.
"Hahaha! Hold on. Hold on. I'm coming now," Alexis was saying to a friend in the background as she answered, "Hey Junior! So yea, we're all going up to May's apartment."
"What about Calvin's party downtown?" I asked wishfully.
"That one is done too. I think pretty much everybody is gonna be at May's. You coming?"
"I dunno, Alexis... I wasn't invited."
"Everybody's invited! Just come through. I'll see you there. Ok, I gotta hop on the train! See you later!" We hung up.
"Great. Just fucking great." I muttered. It had been a year or so since I last saw most of the people who would certainly be at May's party. They were all friends with my ex-girlfriend Janelle, who I broke up with a year ago. Janelle and I had been together off and on for three years before I met Jessica, and May was Janelle's best friend. Janelle and I had scores of mutual friends, most of who probably thought I was a wretched scumbag, although they never said so to my face.
Here I was, standing on the corner of John Street and Nassau Street stuck in the crossroads in the most literal sense of the term. Looking left up John Street I said, "Chance seeing the girl that just dumped you?" then looking right down Nassau I said, "Chance seeing the girl you dumped? Probably with all of her friends, in her brand new clothes, with her big, handsome new boyfriend?"
I pulled a small bottle of Jack Daniel's out of my back pocket and took a swig.
"You'll never leave me, right Jack?" I wished aloud. "….Fuck it."
I walked down Nassau toward the Fulton Street A train station. I was headed uptown.
December 31 - 11:00 PM
St. Nicholas Ave, Harlem
I got off the A train at 145th Street and started making my way to May's apartment on 146th Street. Alexis texted me the address and as I was looking for the building number, I saw my old buddy Kwame walking towards me from up the block.
"Oooh what up Kwam'? Long time no see." We dapped each other.
"What's good Junior?" he replied. There was a slight hesitation in his voice. "You know Janelle's gonna be here right?" he added in a fair warning tone. He had been one of my closest friends for over five years and had seen much of the on again, off again in the James and Janelle saga.
I shrugged. "No worries. I have this." I produced the little bottle of Jack from my back pocket, smiled and took a comforting swig. At this moment in my life, Karma had given me a sound beating. My body bruised and battered, my face bloody from the proverbial pounding, it was as if I was summoning just enough energy to spit in Karma's face and mutter with a broken smile, "Bring it on."
We headed up the six-floor walkup to May's apartment to find very few people there. May greeted me with a warm embrace adding, "Oh wow! So good to see you!" I knew she was lying but I appreciated her effort in not making this any more awkward than it already was. She hurried off to finish up some last minute arrangements. Kwame and I joined the few folks who were in the living room to the right.
The apartment was pretty big, especially for this part of Harlem. It took up the entire floor of this small building. In addition to the large living room, there were two equally large bedrooms connected to it on either side. There wasn't much furniture, just a couch, a few mitch-matched chairs, and a small coffee table that was moonlighting as the "bar" for tonight's festivities. All of these were pushed to the walls to make room for the guests. There was a large flat screen television on the floor in front of the bricked fireplace and a laptop in the corner playing barely audible music. The kitchen and two other rooms were situated at the other end of a long hallway in the Brownstone-style apartment. May and her roommate owned a clothing line and parts of their loft doubled as showroom space.
I hung my coat in the closet and immediately made myself a drink. Hennessey on the rocks. When May floated back into the room, I asked her if she needed help.
"Uhhh.." she breathed hesitantly.
"Do you have speakers?" I asked, pointing at the laptop.
"Oh, yea." She disappeared into the bedroom to the left and reappeared with an iPod dock. "You can set this up." She hurried off to answer her phone.
I set up the speakers using my own iPhone for the music then I set up the television and held onto the remote in preparation of the countdown to New Year's. I also helped set up the liquor and food. Most of this was self-serving, as I didn't fancy being the asshole who wasn't invited but decided to show up anyway, sit in the corner and drink all the liquor.
As midnight grew closer, groups of people started trickling in, almost all of whom were mutual friends of mine and Janelle's and most of whom I had avoided since breaking up with Janelle. I didn't have anything against them. In fact, I knew many of them before I even met Janelle, but I wanted nothing more than to move on from that relationship and hanging out with them would have made that difficult.
They were all very friendly and most were surprised to see me since they knew Janelle was coming. I knew Janelle wouldn't be there until around 1 AM because as was her family's tradition, she had to be with them in the Bronx at the strike of midnight on New Year's. I had time to chill and drink and not worry about the mess I might have just gotten myself into.
December 31 - 11:30 PM
Riverdale, Bronx
Salsa music played loudly on the stereo as the scents of pernil, paella, and mofongo danced merrily to the rhythm. The dining room table was beautifully dressed with a brand new crimson and gold tablecloth and runner. The only thing that wasn't new was the china and cutlery, but even these were only used twice a year. The crystal glassware was spotless, and the traditional grapes were placed at the center of the table in a brilliantly shined silver bowl. The grapes were for good luck and good health in the New Year and were meant to be eaten at the stroke of twelve. Of course, the youngest of the three sisters who lived here had already pilfered a few when her mother was not looking.
Janelle Lisette Alvarez, the oldest of the three, rushed out of the kitchen where she had been helping her mother prepare the meal. Although she was cooking, she was already dressed and ready to go. She was clad in a close-fitting black romper with see-through black leggings. Her fuchsia five-inch designer heels were in her bedroom patiently awaiting their stunning public debut. Her curly Dominican hair was straightened and her make up was professionally done, her striking lipstick matching her pumps.
She hurried upstairs to get her phone. It had been buzzing incessantly for as long as she'd been downstairs. She checked the screen.
"Ugh.. Seventeen texts, five missed calls."
She started reading and replying. Since she had helped May send the invites to the party, people were calling and texting her for party info. "Where is it again?" "Wut time ppl gettin there?" "What should I bring?"
She got through half of the texts when suddenly her eyes grew wide.
The last seven texts gave her pause.
"Ur not gonna believe who decided to show up. Call me."
"Hey Liz dunno if you knew this already but jr is here at May's party."
"Holy shit! Junior is here!"
"Umm ur ex is here.. Is that cool with you?"
"Haha this loser JR came through. He looks like shit. Just giving you a heads up."
"Jr is here. Dunno why. I didn't invite him…"
"Seriously Liz lemme kno if u want me to kick him out."
Janelle was completely puzzled. She called May.
"Finally! Liz you're not gonna believe this shit!" May started, "Fuckin' J-"
"I know son! I know. Mad people texted me 'Oh my god Junior is here' and all this shit. I'm like 'Why are you telling me?' May, I really could care less. I'm so done with that."
"You sure? Just say the word and I'll kick him out."
"Nah there's no need. Let him live his life."
"Ok… Well lemme know if you change your mind."
"Nah I'm good." Then she added with a smile, "I heard he looks like shit."
"HAHA He does! Didn't even dress up. Wearing construction boots and shit! HAHAHA You're gonna shit on his face!"
"You already know." She heard her mother calling her downstairs. "Ok May, I gotta go. Te veo. Muah."
When Janelle got down to the living room to join her mother and sister, she was laughing to herself.
"Y tu? Que paso? Porque estas riendo?" her mother asked, as she oft did, in Spanish.
"Huh? Laughing?" Janelle chuckled, "Oh nothing." Reading her mom's expression, she remembered what a terrible liar she was. With a smile she confessed, "So apparently Junior is at May's party right now."
"Ay Dios… Y que vas hacer mijita?" Her mother was concerned.
"Haha I'm not gonna do anything mom." She laughed at her mom's worried look. "I'm fine. I'm so over that."
"Ay mijita, just in case."
Her mother poured three shots of Patrón. One for herself. Two for Janelle.
December 31 - 11:59 PM
May's Apartment, Harlem
Most of the invitees had shown up to May's and everyone was holding a freshly poured glass of Champagne. We stood around the television as the countdown to the New Year began.
"TEN!" we sang in unison, "NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN! SIX!"
"Humility…" I quietly wished to myself.
"Please.." I closed my eyes.
"Just give me a break Lord…"
For the next half hour, everyone in the apartment hugged and kissed each other, exchanging kind words and best wishes for the New Year. It was evident that all of the bad karma I released into the universe had finally come back to me all at once within these past couple of months. I was systematically trying to right some wrongs wherever I could. I made it a point to seek out individuals with whom I had differences and who weren't fond of me either. I gave them warm, true embraces and meant every kind word I shared with them.
One of these individuals was a guy named Devin. I never liked him because he came into Janelle's life during one of our breakups a couple of years ago. He was some kind of artist. I always thought something happened between he and Janelle, and when Janelle and I got back together, I gave her grief about keeping him around and was a complete asshole to the guy until she finally cut him off. She obviously started back talking to him, since he was here at the party. I sat down next to Devin.
"What's up man? Devin, right?" I said.
"Uh.. yeah?"
"Junior." I told him while shaking his hand. "We've met before."
"I… I don't think so." I knew he was lying.
"Yea. We have." I stated, ignoring Devin's feigned ignorance. "Happy New Year bro. I wish you the best." I was sincere.
I got up to get yet another drink, and on my way back from the kitchen, I saw that Janelle's best friend Yennifer had arrived. As I had done with everyone else by this point, I went to her to give her a hug and a happy new year. She didn't hug back. Instead she appeared utterly horrified at my presence.
"Why are you here?" her body was rigid, arms at her sides.
"Really Yennifer? Still?" I replied. I was still hugging her until I realized she was dead serious. I shouldn't have been surprised but everyone else had at least been cordial even if they were faking it. "Ok…" I let her go, "Well, Happy New Year…"
Another drink in hand; I occupied a seat in the furthest corner of the apartment. My stomach knotted as the moment I had been dreading was fast approaching. The sobering depth of the hole I had dug myself into trumped the amount of alcohol I was drinking in attempts to fill the hole.
I started second-guessing myself as my thoughts ran wild "What would I say? How would I say it? Should I say anything at all? Should I just sit in this corner and drink myself silly? Should I just leave?" I couldn't leave because I was staying with Yves and Katrina and they were out partying too. No one was getting my texts anyway because it was New Year's and every cell network was backed up.
"I have to swallow my pride-the little bit I have left, and just say a quick Happy New Years and sit back down. What's the worst that can happen?" I laughed at my sad existence, "Shit, what have I got to lose? I've lost everything already." Swig.
January 1 - 1:15 AM
St. Nicholas Ave, Harlem
Janelle, her younger sister Lunelle and Lunelle's boyfriend sat in the back of a black gypsy cab. Her oldest friend LaKiesha-who always rang in the New Year with the Alavarez family-sat in front.
Janelle leaned forward. "It's on the next block," She told the cab driver, "On the left."
As she reclined back into her seat, Janelle felt the slight buzz from the Patrón shots and the glass of Grey Goose she shared with her mother in the Bronx. She smiled at this as she pulled out her phone. She saw a few texts waiting for her.
"where r u??? everyone is waiting for u!"
"OMFG Jr just tried to hug me! Get here now before I fucking kill him!"
She rolled her eyes. She had no interest in being caught up in everyone else's bullshit.
"I'm too fly for that shit." she said aloud. She prided herself in out-dressing, out-dancing, and outshining everyone. Tonight was no different. She lived for these moments and she was determined to have a fun, drama-free New Year's.
She did feel a tinge of nervousness, but not because of Junior. She felt the butterflies of a performer about to take the stage. This was her moment. Her only concern was whether people had their cameras ready or not.
She texted May and Yennifer the same message. "I'm here. Let's have fun tonight. No drama."
January 1 - 1:30 AM
May's Apartment, Harlem
Janelle had arrived. I didn't see her yet, but I could hear her in the hallway. She greeted several people as she made her way through the party.
"Here we go…" I thought. I was nervous. Not the kind of nervousness one feels when their high school crush walks into the school dance, but the twisted feeling of guilt deep in the pit of my stomach.
Jessica dumped me with no full explanation, and at the time, I had no idea how or why my life was crumbling. I still didn't fully understand it. There was just this huge void in the wake of Jessica's departure from my life, and the first thing I thought about was what I had done to Janelle and how I had left her to drown in the sea of misery I myself had heaved her into. I finally felt the guilt of what I had done, and it didn't even matter whether I felt right or wrong for leaving her. I left her. Now I had to face her for the first time in what seemed like forever. It was like I was facing myself. Knowing the despair and hopelessness I felt at that moment, I was not looking forward to it at all.
Janelle was getting closer. I didn't want to be in an awkward situation where she could embarrass me in front of everyone with one of her snide "Can't you see I'm busy?" quips, but I also didn't want to not say something because that would make it even more awkward. She didn't know I was at the party, but it wasn't like I could hide from her. I had lost all feeling by this point so being a coward was out of the question.
My buddy Kwame was sitting next to me on the couch and as I contemplated if/when/how I was going to do this, I thought aloud, "Well, it's now or never right? What's the worst that can happen?" I waited for an answer... Kwame was fast asleep.
"Fuck it."
I mustered up all of the liquid courage I'd been storing for this very moment, and I got up just as she finished saying hi to a friend. I quickly made my way towards her and I could tell she was purposefully not meeting my eyes. I've known her for three years, and I knew that look all too well. "I guess she already knew I was here…" I thought. She pretended not to see me and was about to engage another friend. While there was still space, I cut in and gave her a full hug. She didn't hug me back.
"Happy New Years." I said only loud enough for her to hear, and then added, "You look great." She did. She wore a close-fitting black outfit with bright colored high heels. Her hair was straightened and her make up was perfect, her lipstick even matched her shoes.
She gave me a curt nod, half of a fake smile, no eye contact and that was it. I hurried off down the hallway to get another drink which I so desperately needed right now.
"That wasn't so bad." I thought, "Could have been much worse. Her big handsome new boyfriend could have been lurking there ready to punch me in the face."
From that point on the party rolled without a hitch. The proverbial eight-ton gorilla in the room had shrunken to only three or four tons, making it much easier to maneuver around. I was "DJing" and dancing and laughing and catching up with friends. I helped find May's phone when some idiot tried to steal it. People were really making a mess and Janelle started to freak out so I helped her clear the empty bottles (against her wishes) and I even washed the dishes. I also got the chance to share friendly words with Janelle's sister Lunelle. She always liked me, and it was sweet of her to be cordial with me when none of Janelle's closest friends were.
Around 2:30AM, the party started to clear out. Janelle's boyfriend (if there was such a fellow) was still MIA, but there was another guy particularly close to her on the dance floor for more than a few songs. Right at that moment a girl plopped down next to me on the couch and asked me if I knew that guy's name; apparently she was fond of him.
"Nope." I replied trying not to slur my words, "but you wanna know something funny?"
I started pointing around the room.
"You see that girl?" I pointed at May who was on our left, "She used to go out with that guy with the blue shirt. But now she's with that guy who just went down the hallway. And that girl over there?" I pointed straight ahead to a couple in the next room, "She used to date him with the hat and him over there too, now she's with the guy that's with her on the bed. And my ex used to date that guy over there in the corner. Incestuous little gathering we have here. Isn't that funny?"
"Is she your ex?" She asked, pointing her chin at Janelle.
I smiled and shrugged as I buried my face back into my big red plastic Dixie cup full of Hennessey.
Three AM rolled around and there were only about twenty people left at the party. I still hadn't heard from my friends downtown. Calls were going straight to voicemail and no one was returning my texts. I didn't mind too much at the moment, as I lay slumped on the couch enjoying my emotion-numbing buzz.
Janelle was messing around with the music and stopped on a song that she and I used to love. She started to dance by herself, her back facing the room. I was humming the words to myself and bopping my head to the rhythm, but then before I realized what I was doing, I impulsively walked over and tried to dance with her.
"Who is this?" She said without looking back.
"It's me."
"Get off of me. You're drunk."
"No I'm not." I was.
"You must be drunk. You wouldn't do this if you weren't drunk. Get off of me."
"Ok I'm sorry.. I'm sorry."
At that moment I realized I had overstayed my welcome. Worse yet, I wasn't even welcome in the first place. I grabbed my coat, bid a quick adieu to a couple of the stragglers and made a hasty exit. I didn't know where I was going but I knew I had to leave for fear of making an even bigger fool of myself. "I guess I have a little bit of pride left in me after all…"
Outside on St. Nicholas Avenue, I scrolled through my phone trying to figure out who would let me crash at 3:30 in the morning. If worst came to worst, I would head back to 42nd Street and sleep in the Port Authority until daybreak when I could catch a bus back to New Jersey where I was currently staying in my buddy's basement. Oh, what a life.
My friend Femiola lived in Harlem as well and she was sure to be out partying. I called once. No answer. I tried again. Luckily, she picked up.
"Where you at Femi?" From the noise in the background, I could tell she was outside.
"I'm leaving a party right now heading to May's party."
"Well it's pretty much done. I just left there."
"What was you doin' there?" She exhibited the same surprise as everyone else.
"Long story…" I didn't even want to think about it. "Listen, can I crash?"
"Well I'm like a couple blocks away. I'm gonna go check it out anyway and I'll hit you back."
This wasn't what I had hoped for, but it was better than nothing. "As soon as Femi gets to May's, she'll see that the party is over and I can finally put this night behind me." I thought as I walked down to the 145th Street train station. I stood on the steps leading down into the station low enough to shield myself from the cold and high enough to maintain cell phone reception.
Fifteen minutes passed and I still didn't get a call from Femiola. I decided to call her back.
"Yea, Junior we just got here but umm.. Lemme uh.. lemme call you back." Click.
A few moments later an unknown number blinked on my cell phone screen. I picked up…
January 1 - 3:30 AM
May's Apartment, Harlem
Janelle Alvarez stood in the kitchen of May's apartment clutching a bottle of Grey Goose by the neck. The kitchen was located in the rear of the apartment, the furthest room from the apartment door. It was a good size with two countertops adjacent to each other, one with a kitchen sink on the far wall below the kitchen window and one to the left. There were empty beer bottles, red plastic Dixie cups and bottles of liquor and wine scattered on the counters and floors, partly because the garbage can was full and partly because people had gotten too drunk to care where they left their cups and bottles. Janelle was laughing uncontrollably to herself and muttering imperceptible words directed at no one in particular in between swigs of vodka straight from the bottle. In attempts to keep up appearances for all of the people who had attended the party, not to mention her estranged ex-boyfriend, she hadn't shown signs of drunkenness throughout the night. Now, with most of the attendees gone, she found herself needing some liquid comfort. On the kitchen counter to her left she spied a bottle of Patrón that wasn't yet completely empty. She poured its remnants into the nearest cup and drank it as a shot. As she blinked her eyes and pursed her lips to regain composure, an intoxicated May stumbled in.
"Dude! What the fuck??" May blurted out.
"I know right? What the fucking fuck!" Janelle burst as they both broke into laughter. This night was certainly one for the books. Both Janelle and May had ex-boyfriends show up and there were no fights, no problems and everyone seemed to have enjoyed themselves. Janelle downed another gulp of Grey Goose from the bottle, handed the bottle to May while wiping the excess vodka from her chin with the back of her hand and then slowly walked down the hallway toward the bathroom.
Several minutes later Janelle's sister Lunelle went into the kitchen looking for her. "Have you seen my sister?" she asked May.
"She went to the bathroom prolly to puke or somethin'."
Lunelle went back down the hallway and saw that the bathroom was closed. She knocked. "Hello? Hey, Nelly you in there? We want to leave."
"Leavmealn…" came the voice on the other side of the door.
"I can't understand you. Can you come out so we can go home?" Lunelle repeated.
"Ugh!" Lunelle breathed. Annoyed, she went back to the kitchen and spoke to May. "I don't know what's wrong with her but can you go in there and tell her to get out? She won't listen to me."
May obliged, following Lunelle down the hallway using the wall to keep her balance as she went. She knocked on the bathroom door. "Janelle.." she slurred. No answer. She knocked again this time with the side of her fist. "Janelle? C'mon if you don' answer 'm comin' in." Janelle still didn't answer. May shot Lunelle a worried glance as she slowly turned the doorknob.
She cracked the door and peered inside. Janelle was sitting on the bathroom floor to the right slumped against the wall near the toilet. May pushed the door open and rushed in.
"Janelle! Janelle! Are you ok?" she screamed as she brushed Janelle's hair to the side so she could see her face. Janelle slowly lifted her head to reveal her face covered in tears, her dark mascara running down her cheeks.
"What the fuck happened? Are you ok? Did you throw up? You need to throw up??" May was almost frantic.
"'M fine 'm fine." Janelle mumbled brushing May's hand away from her face.
"Talk to me. What happened? You ok?"
"Why was he here why did he come here he fuckin cheated on me he cheated…" Janelle mumbled.
"Who? Junior?" May spat the name out, disgusted. "Fuck Junior. Mother. Fuck. Junior. Don't cry over him. Fuck him."
"I kno' I kno' but why…"
"Jus' forget about him Janelle. New year. New you? Right?"
"But why…" Janelle's head fell into her palms as she again began to sob. May realized she wasn't sober enough to be useful in this situation so she stood up and left the bathroom to get another one of their friends to help.
As she was heading to the living room, which was located to the right on the opposite end of the apartment from the kitchen, someone knocked on the door. May opened it without checking the peephole as she had been doing throughout the night.
"Heeeyyy!" May said, mustering all of the enthusiasm she could manufacture at that point in the night. It was Femiola and her friend Shadina.
"Well, you look like you had a good time." Femiola said sardonically in response to May's visible inebriation. They hugged then Femi and Shadina stepped into the apartment. They were about to take off their coats when they took a quick glance into the living room and then down the hallway and only saw a few people present. The music had been turned down and the remaining attendees were in small groups conversing amongst themselves. Femi shot Shadina a guilty, apologetic grin as Shadina, unamused, rolled her eyes.
There was a small commotion emanating from one of the bedrooms. A few moments later, May emerged from the bedroom followed by several girls. Devin, who happened to still be in the living room, overheard some of May's conversation and stopped her in the hallway to find out what was going on.
"Janelle is crying in the bathroom," May said nonchalantly.
"Do you need me to talk to her?" he offered.
"Nah we're good thanks." She continued down the hall back toward the bathroom, her friends in tow.
Femi was about to ask May what was going on when her phone rang. She picked up. Her mind preoccupied by the situation unfolding in the hallway, she paused and then said, "Yea, Junior we just got here but umm.. Lemme uh.. lemme call you back." She hung up without waiting for a response and then followed May and the rest of the girls to the bathroom. There were five of them; May in front and Femi pulling up the rear. They each filed into the very small bathroom and Femi, finally witnessing Janelle's appearance, decided it was best to shut the door behind them. When she turned around, LaKiesha had just snatched a phone from Janelle, said something to the person on the other end, and then hung up.
January 1 - 4:00 AM
St. Nicholas Ave., Harlem
An unknown cell phone number blinked on my screen. I picked up.
"Why did you come here?" Came a slow gargled female voice on the other end of the phone. "You shouldn't have come here."
"Who is this?" I asked.
"Janelle who?" I knew who it was. I just couldn't believe she would be calling me. I didn't even know she still had my number.
"It's Janelle. You shouldn't have come here. You cheated on me."
"Woah. Hey I've done a lot of things to hurt you, but I never cheated on you."
"Yes you did! You cheated on me! Why did you come??" She was audibly crying on the other end.
Suddenly another voice came on the phone.
"James, It's LaKiesha. Let me call you back."
"Is everything all right??" I asked.
"Yea, it's fine. Let me call you back." LaKiesha abruptly hung up.
"She thinks I cheated on her…" My mind was swimming in thoughts. "She thinks I left her because I was cheating with Jessica.. I can go back.. even if it's to get punched in the face. I have opportunity to give her what I so desperately need. Answers."
"Fuck it." I left the train station to face the cold…
When I got back to the apartment building, I pressed the buzzer trying to gain access. No one answered. For one full minute, I deliberated my decision; the alcohol in my system disallowed me to process complete thoughts. "Fuck'm I doin… No, she needs this... Bad idea bad idea bad idea… Need to tell her the truth..." At that moment, the door swung open and Devin came out. I caught the door before it closed.
"The party is pretty much done." Devin offered, "There's no one up there."
"Janelle's not there?" I asked innocently.
"Janelle?..." He screwed his face up in feigned contemplation, "Nah, I think she just left with her sister."
"Thanks. I'll check anyway." I smiled. I turned towards the stairwell, "What a cornball."
I headed up the six-floor walkup, and at the top of the steps, I took a deep breath. I knew everything about this was a bad idea, but there was an overwhelming compulsion that propelled me to come back. Did I owe her anything? I didn't cheat on her but would she believe me? Was there something I could tell her to give her closure? Did I miss her? Was I wrong to have left her in the first place? Could talking to her somehow help me gain closure with Jessica? I had all questions and no answers. I shook my head to myself and knocked on the door.
Femiola's friend Shadina answered the door (which was funny because she was a friend of a friend of the tenant and she was the person who opened the door at four o'clock in the morning). Shadina looked utterly perturbed that Femi brought her to this awful party with no music, no guys, no food and no liquor. Along with her in the hallway by the front door was Janelle's younger sister Lunelle.
"Oh, hey Junior…" said Lunelle.
"Hey… Uh, where's Nelly?" I asked.
She didn't answer. I looked at Shadina whose eyes flashed behind me down the hallway. I took the cue and headed towards the middle of the hallway where I heard muffled voices emanating from the bathroom. I knocked.
"Who is it??" came a voice.
"Oh… Um…" the person hesitated. "What do you want?"
"I need to talk to Janelle."
"I don't think that's such a good idea."
"WHO-IZZAT??" came Janelle's gargled voice.
"It's no one," another female voice answered her.
"C'mon, let me talk to her." I repeated.
"Um.. Ok uh.. Hold on."
LaKiesha cracked the bathroom door just enough to push her way through. She immediately pushed me backwards into a small room across the hallway that was filled with racks of clothes.
"What's up dude?" she asked.
"I just wanna talk to Janelle."
"That's not a good idea right now."
"She thinks I cheated on her. I didn't cheat on her LaKiesha."
"I don't know…"
"I did a lot of things. I know I hurt her when I left her, but I didn't cheat on her."
LaKiesha and I had always gotten along well and she liked me for Janelle. She didn't want to believe me, but I could tell that part of her did.
"Just let me talk to her," I said.
"Um.. Ok. Let me ask her."
She went back into the bathroom and I could hear a small argument ensue. The loudest voice of them all was Janelle's.
"WHO?.. JAMES??? LET'IMINN." She commanded.
"Ok.. Ok.. You promise you're ok?" another voice asked.
" 'M-FINE. YOU. LEAVE." She told them, "LET HIM IN."
"Ok… We'll be here. Just let us know if-"
At that moment the door edged open and out came a procession of LaKiesha, Femiola, Yennifer, May, then Cheri. They were apparently holding an intervention in the small bathroom that could barely fit two people-let alone six.
The look they each gave me told a story. Cheri and Yennifer looked at me in utter disgust. "How could you do this to our best friend?" May looked somewhat neutral, as she had seen the many ups and downs of the James and Janelle saga firsthand. Her look said, "Shit happens." LaKiesha's look said, "I sure hope you know what you're doing buddy." Finally, Femiola put one hand on my shoulder, let out a deep sigh, then shook her head. She and I were close friends and I had seen this look many times before. That look meant, "You're a fucking fool. I should stop you, but whatever, Junior. Do what you want."
An immediate rush of uncertainty took hold of me as soon as Femi let go of me. All this time I thought they were protecting Janelle from me… I only just realized, as they pushed me towards the door, that they were actually protecting me from her…
"Oh sh-"…
January 1 - 4:45 AM
May's Apartment, Harlem
I stepped into the small bathroom to see Janelle sitting on the floor leaned against the bathtub. The white tile floor had little black tiles dispersed evenly throughout, as did the bottom half of the four walls. The bathtub was directly in front of the doorway. The shower curtain was dark blue with a pink and purple floral pattern and there was a matching dark blue bath rug in front of the tub. Directly to the right of the tub was a small sink. This was littered with four used toothbrushes, an empty tube of toothpaste, hand soap, and a bunch of female hair care products. The toilet to the right of the sink had a black seat cover and a curling iron and a flat iron sitting on top of the toilet's tank. Used tissues were scattered everywhere, and Janelle held a fresh wad in her hand. Mascara was smeared all over her face. Her eyes and nose were red and swollen. She looked a right mess.
"Sit." She whispered in an unnaturally composed tone as she nodded her forehead toward the toilet seat. I went to the seat, facing her the whole time, and sat gingerly as if I had a bout of hemorrhoids.
"Why did you come here?" she asked, again in that forced even tone of voice.
"I-I just…"
"SHUT UP!" she burst.
I technically wasn't afraid for my life but I knew it was a mistake to be sitting in this small room with her while she was in this neurotic state. I also figured there were several people listening at the door mostly to eavesdrop, but on the off chance that I would attack her, they would rush in to save her. I strongly doubted they would do the same for me…
She began again in that calmed voice. "Did you think you could just come in here and everything would be fine?"
"I… I don't know."
"What do you mean 'you don't know'? Did you think it would be fine? Just answer the question."
"I just… I mean… That was a year ago."
"Nine months." She quickly corrected me.
"Yea… um nine months.. So I just figured you would be ok… by now.."
"Me?? I'm fine. I'm fine. Fiiiine… I did everything.. everything.. that you said I couldn't do." She uttered that last bit through gritted teeth. "I lost weight... Look at me!" I was looking at the floor as I often did during these difficult conversations. I hesitantly met her eyes.
"I look good," she continued, "I lost fifty pounds after you left me. You said I couldn't do it."
"I never said-"
"SHUT UP!" she screamed, "You shut up and you listen to me! I did everything you said I couldn't. You know I have a job? Yea. I started right after you broke up with me. And I have my own apartment. I pay my own bills. You didn't believe in me. Look at me!" I looked back up. "I told you I would do it but you didn't believe me."
"I'm sorry…"
"You didn't believe I could change… so you left… you left me for… that… bitch. That fucking bitch." She pounded her right fist into her left palm as she spoke.
"I didn't cheat on you." I offered.
"Yes you did! You fucking cheated on me! With that bitch. And that's why you left me." Janelle stated this as if she was quoting scripture. It was clear to me that she had been using this reasoning to cope during these last nine months.
"I know I hurt you. I know I did. But I never cheated on you."
"You're lying. Were you in love with her?"
"I…." I was hesitant.
"Were you…" she started through gritted teeth, "in love with her?"
"I…" This was no time to lie. "Yes.. Yes I was."
"How could you? How could love this random broad?"
"She wasn't random."
"So you cheated on me."
"No. I…"
"You cheated on me! How else could you have fallen in love so quickly??"
"I didn't cheat on you. I met Jessica after-"
"Don't fucking say her name!" Janelle looked positively homicidal. I shifted uneasily on the toilet seat. "Don't you fucking say her name in my presence! This random fucking broad that you cheated on my with."
"I told you I didn't cheat on you!" I was getting upset. Although this was the most humbling experience in my life, I still didn't fancy being called a liar.
"So when did you meet her then?" She asked more calmly. Her sudden changes in emotion made me supremely uncomfortable.
"Um.. a month.. yea… a month after we broke up."
"You're fucking lying. I'm supposed to believe that you fell in love-head over heals, in a month?? You think I'm fucking stupid??"
"We broke up when? In April?"
"March 24th." She corrected me.
"March. I didn't start dating her until May."
"Even then! Even if I believe that bullshit. How could you fall in love with a random broad a month after you've been with me for three years??"
I was at a loss for words. "I.. I don't know."
"You don't know… You. Don't. Know…" she was almost amused, letting out a slight chuckle. "And where is she now?"
"We um…" a lump formed in my throat. "She… she dumped me."
"Ooohh she dumped you?" she feigned surprise. She must have known already. "Why?" she pressed on. She wore the most condescending expression; her lips pursed and brow furrowed.
"Because.. ah.. Because I lost my job."
"She left you. Because you lost. Your job." The infliction of her voice suggested the condescension of a lawyer during a cross-examination.
"Sort of.. I actually quit, but they were gonna fire me. But I treated her like shit during that entire process. Then I quit without telling her. So she dumped me.. Same day."
"She left you on the same day you lost you job??"
"Do you remember? Huh? Do you remember when you lost you job when we were together? You remember how you treated me?"
"You treated me like shit. You were always upset. Always spazzing. But I never left you." She began to inch closer to me. "I never left you."
"I know..." I quietly acknowledged. She was right.
"I've never left you. No matter how mad you got or all the bullshit you've done. I've always been there for you." I didn't respond. She was right. I knew she was. "I was there," she continued, "after you graduated when you didn't have a job. I was there during finals when you had to pull all-nighters in the library bringing you Gatorade and donuts. You remember that?"
"Yea, I remember." I smiled. Those were fond memories.
"But still, you left me…" she had calmed down and was only sitting a foot away from me on the bathroom floor. She took me by the wrist and used my open hand to caress her cheek. Tears started to form in the corners of her eyes. "Why did you leave me?"
"I was… I'm…" Tears began to form in my eyes as I searched for something to say. Having been given the clairvoyance of hindsight, I searched for the real truth behind my actions nine months ago. "I was unhappy." I started slowly, "I couldn't see a future for us.. I did what I thought was best."
"You told me you didn't love me."
"I didn't say-"
"You did. You looked me in the eyes and you said 'I don't love you'. You don't remember that?"
"I… I do.. but I didn't mean that. I did still love you as I do now and always will." I was telling the truth. "I just thought that's what you needed to hear for the breakup to make sense to you. You said to me 'Tell me you don't love me'… so I did."
"Do you have any idea what I went through after you left me?"
"No.." I honestly hadn't given much thought, if any, to how she was doing while I was enjoying my new life without her.
"While you were off taking bitches to Puerto Rico and Mexico… yes I know about that." She was only half right. I opened my mouth to say something but decided against it. This wasn't the time to argue about the details of my tropical vacations. She continued, "I know about everything… while you were off with random broads, I was here. Sick. Sick of my own life. I didn't eat. I cried myself to sleep every.. fucking.. night… for weeks upon weeks…" She was crying now, fighting to get words out. The pain and anger and grief I had cause finally being released at the only person who mattered…
"I'm.. I'm sorry…"
"No you're not." She cut in, "No. You're. Not. Because you were off enjoying your life in 'love'. Taking her on trips! You never took me on trips, but this.. this random broad… That should have been me! Should have been all mine, but you didn't love me. When you were with me it was always 'Oh I don't have any money' but a month later you're taking broads on vacation."
"It wasn't.."
"I would go out," she continued, ignoring me, "every day of the week to party because I couldn't stand the feeling of being home crying over you while you were out. You didn't give a fuck about me. You didn't give a fuck about me! My friends would tell me 'He's obviously not worried about you so you shouldn't worry about him'. So I was out every night. I would party Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday straight. I didn't give a fuck. Party until 5 AM on a Sunday or Wednesday then wake up at 6 and go to work. I was popping bottles every week. $300. $400, fuck it. Drunk every night. Having fun. Taking cabs back to the Bronx for $50. I spent almost $3000 one month just on clubs. All because I couldn't stand the thought of you being happy with some random broad while I was crying over you."
I was speechless, not so much because I didn't believe her but because I had purposefully cut all of Janelle's footprints out of my life. Facebook, Twitter, Gchat, pictures, her friends. I wanted to leave her in my past and let her live her life as I lived mine. I didn't want to hear about anything she was doing. My friends knew not to mention her and I liked it that way. I had the fortune of being happy, in love with someone else and not having the time to even wonder how she was doing. In my own past, I found that, for better or worse, the more time I had to myself after a split, the more I forgot all the bad things that caused the split and ended up back with that person. I couldn't keep to myself. I kept myself busy. I reconnected with old flames and I sparked up new ones.
Janelle began again. "My friends calling me, texting me 'he got pictures of her all over Facebook!' Every week I'm getting a call 'He's fucked up. Are you all right?'"
I was silent, staring at a random tile on the bathroom floor.
"I remember the day she dumped you."
"Wha..?" I looked up.
"Yea. At least three people hit me up. 'Junior crying over this bitch on Facebook. I think she deaded him.' And I remember. I remember going into the bathroom at work and being so happy. So, so happy." She gazed at the ceiling, reminiscing about that joyous moment, "Fucking karma. 'This is what he gets' I thought. 'This is what he fucking gets. Now he can feel how I felt. Now he can go through the pain he put me through.'"
At that moment, I realized this was why I came back. I came back to be spat on and told off. In my current situation, I was Jessica and Janelle was me, and I wanted Janelle to rip me a new one. I wanted her to claim her victory at last over that asshole… that bitch who left me at my lowest point. I wanted to see her win because for once I saw myself in her,
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