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you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
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you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You are such a cockblock sometimes
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.


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MORRIS, SHADRACH H. (1790–1864). Shadrach H. Morris, also spelled Shadrack, early settler, was born on December 12, 1790, in Kentucky or Tennessee. He served in a Louisiana regiment in the War of 1812 and lived in Sabine Parish, Louisiana, by 1827. He moved his family across the Sabine River into Sabine County, Texas, a few years later and received a Mexican land grant in 1835. His land was on the western bank of the Sabine River at the mouth of Palo Gaucho Bayou. Morris gave 200 acres of land there to establish Sabinetown, where he operated a hotel and stagecoach stop. The two huge oak trees that stood at either corner of his hotel still stood on the bank by the waters of what is now Toledo Bend Reservoir in 1970. During the Runaway Scrape Morris took his family back to live in Sabine Parish, Louisiana, where they stayed until 1857, when they returned to Sabine County. Morris married Mary Nelson of Mississippi about 1823; they had eleven children. He died on January 18, 1864.
Robert Cecil McDaniel, Sabine County, Texas (Waco: Texian, 1987). Edna McDaniel White and Blanche Findley Toole, Sabine County Historical Sketches and Genealogical Records (Beaumont, 1972).
The following, adapted from the Chicago Manual of Style, 15th edition, is the preferred citation for this article.Helen Gomer Schluter, "MORRIS, SHADRACH H.," Handbook of Texas Online (http://www.tshaonline.org/handbook/online/articles/fmo64), accessed November 25, 2015. Uploaded on June 15, 2010. Published by the Texas State Historical Association.
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subset: commoncrawl


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24 October 2011 - This week sees the UK and devolved Governments launch their 'Get Ready for Winter' campaigns and websites.
The Met Office works closely with government departments and contingency planners throughout the year to make sure they have the best advice available to help them prepare for possible weather impacts.
During spells of severe weather it is the Met Office's 1-5 day forecasts and warnings that give them the vital information they need to help minimise the impacts of the weather on you and your community.
It is never too early to be prepared for winter, especially as we know from experience the variety of severe weather we can see in the UK during the winter months.
So how can you be more prepared for any severe weather?
The Scottish Government's Get Ready for winter campaign aims to raise awareness of the risks that winter can bring and how people and their communities can be more prepared during any severe weather. Through the Ready Scotland website, you can find out all you need to know about how to be ready for winter.
UK Government has also created a dedicated Get ready for winter website to give easy access to all the information and advice individuals and communities need to know about how to prepare ahead of the winter months.
Met Office Press Office: +44 (0)1392 886655
E-mail: Press Office
Met Office Customer Centre: 01392 885680
If you're outside the UK: +44 1392 885680
Last updated: 5 April 2012


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The non-state endorsed Filipino intrusion on Sabah soil has elicited passionate response from the Malaysia nation. I've read many articles from both sides of Sulu Sea, both pro Malaysia and pro Philippines. Both have made their arguments, and not surprisingly, I've sided with the Malaysian side. Sabah is fully functioning state with sizable economic heft within the federation of Malaysia and has been that way for over 50 years. Do you really expect Malaysia to relinquish authority over Sabah for it to become a territory of the Philippines all over some questionable document signed hundreds of years ago?
You should know when you've been conquered. I offer this same advice to the Argentinians disputing the sovereignty of Falkland Islands. Claiming land belonging to another country politically impossible if it is populated with loyal citizens unless war is declared and victory won. Leave the conquests of the past in their rightful graves, I say, and move on.
The irony is that the predominantly Christian Philippine government is currently amidst a war of civilizations with its Muslim South but conveniently recognizes the claims of the descendants of a sultanate that the Philippine government itself abolished. Even if simply for appearance sake, that former Sulu sultanate should be elevated to head the whole Philippine state, so that their claims would be more credible. (And obviously I'm not a lawyer). Instead of another land grab, the government should focus on asserting full control over ALL of its nation.
One matter that irks me is the amateur cartographer who took the liberty of enlarging the extent of the Sulu Sultanate without regard for the realities of history. So I would like to present a picture that has been circulating around.
The Sultanate of Sulu was only established circa 1450 on the islands in the Sulu archipelago namely Jolo, Basilan and Tawi-tawi. These three island form the heartland of Sulu Empire where the Tausug peoples are associated with.
The eastern-most portion of the inaccurate map could not have covered those western parts of Mindanao Island because that would have been the territory of the powerful Maguindanao Sultanate, a rival fellow Muslim Moro kingdom. At this time Brunei's empire covered most of northern and northeastern Borneo – including Sabah but not the interiors which remained in tribal hands – and Palawan even up to Cebu.
In second half the 17th century, a highly disputable agreement between the Sultanate of Brunei and Sulu took place which saw the Sulu gaining a bonanza purportedly as reward for helping Brunei suppress a rebellion. Their prize was North Borneo, islands like Banggi, Balambangan and Palawan and all of Brunei's territories to the east. No documents ever existed to prove this, however since the relationship between Brunei and Sulu were on warring terms, the actual border between them is anybody's guess. However, the Tausug people did have settlements in Eastern Sabah - Kudat, Semporna, Sandakan, Lahad Datu, Kota Kinabalu, Menggatal, Tuaran dan Telipok - and even in Eastern Kalimantan which suggests Sulu presence of some kind.
On 22 January 1878, an agreement was signed between the Sultanate of Sulu and British commercial syndicate (Alfred Dent and Baron von Overback), which stipulated that North Borneo was either ceded or leased (depending on translation used) to the British syndicate. (Wikipedia) In that treaty, the Sulu Sultan signs over assigns forever and in perpetuity all the rights to the territories from Pandasan River on the north-west coast and extending along the whole east coast as far as the Sibuku River in the south.
This is the first time since the Bruneian cessation that any demarcation of Sulu territory has been recorded. Sabah then was then known as North Borneo a British protectorate administered by the North Borneo Chartered Company. North Borneo was the amalgamation of territories appropriated from both the Brunei and Sulu Sultanates. Unlike the baseless propaganda maps from the net, I use this historical facts to draw my map. One small caveat though, I couldn't pinpoint Sulu's domain on the Zamboanga peninsula before it was captured by Spain, so it's probably inaccurate.
The Tausugs were a tough bunch, after more than two centuries of Sulu resistance, the Spanish empire finally subjugated the Sulu Empire on July 2 1878 under Manila's administration. When the Philippines was a US colony, they abolished the Sulu Sultanate upon the death of Sultan Jamalul Kiram II (1894-1936) in an attempt to create a Commonwealth of the Philippines, a precursor to the today's Republic of the Philippines.
The former Sulu Sultanate is not unlike Kurdistan in the Middle East. The Tausug people like the Kurdish are a people divided by the deeds of European colonialists. Today they reside in separate countries and have no state to call their own. In Sabah, the Tausugs are known as Suluks but still share the same language. The huge influx of Muslim immigrants from the Philippines due primarily from unrest there in recent times comprise primarily Bajau, Tausug and Bugis peoples. They have also been involved in the notorious alleged Project IC where the Malaysian citizenships were given out in wanton in efforts to Islamize Sabah.
Sabah is more than just hectares or acres of land. Sabah is about Sabahans, the most ethnically diverse region in Malaysia. On 31 August 1963 North Borneo achieved independence but 16 days later in a UN brokered deal acceded to the Federation of Malaysia. How would you justify returning a democratically governed state to descendants of a former monarch based upon the 'facts' that the land used to 'belong' to them. The land belongs to the people, and I believe they have spoken.


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Two arrested after meth lab uncovered
PORT ORCHARD — Detectives with West Sound Narcotics Enforcement Team uncovered a small methamphetamine lab inside a Lincoln Avenue apartment after arriving in search of two suspects wanted on unrelated drug charges. This led to the arrest of two people on charges of manufacture and possession of meth. One suspect also was booked into jail on a probation violation.
Occupants of surrounding apartments on the 1900 block of Lincoln were told to temporarily vacate their homes because of the presence of toxic and explosive substances. A 5-year-old child was also taken to March Bridge Children's Hospital in Tacoma for a precautionary evaluation. The American Red Cross Serving King and Kitsap Counties provided temporary housing for the displaced tenants, and both Kitsap Public Health District and State Department of Ecology were called to take samples for analysis and contain hazardous waste.
The March 15 arrests marked the fifth time in the past three months WestNET detectives have discovered a small meth lab. Four of the busts have resulted in the arrests of 20 people. According to a news release from the Kitsap County Sheriff's Office Friday, more arrests are expected from the Lincoln Avenue bust.
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Narutaru 8 released in mangahere fastest, recommend your friends to read Narutaru 8 now!
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Flowering Shrubs for Fall Planting
Azalea Arneson Flame
This special variety features a profusion of large red blossoms complemented by red-tinged, fuzzy new leaves. Disease-resistant foliage turns green in summer and glorious maroon in fall.
Rhododendron is a genus of evergreen and deciduous shrubs, which includes Azaleas. These lovely shrubs look terrific in a mixed border or in foundation plantings. All thrive in full sun or partial shade (required in the South) and evenly moist, acid soil.
For more information on growing and care, click on Growing Guide.
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Common Name: Azalea
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Height: 3'
Exposure: Full or Part Sun
Blooms In: April-May
Spacing: 4'
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This exquisite ivory and gold figurine has been an icon of the ROM collection since she was acquired in 1931, but she has also attracted huge controversy. When she was bought by the ROM, she was believed to be a rare example of a female bull-leaper from the Minoan civilisation of Bronze Age Crete. She was authenticated by Arthur Evans, the authority on the Minoans, who made comparisons with Bronze Age ivory figurines he excavated at the Minoan palace of Knossos. However, with no known archaeological findspot, and only a vague collection history before she came to the museum, she was soon condemned by some scholars as a modern forgery. She was associated with several other suspect `Minoan` figurines made of stone and ivory that appeared on the art market in the early 20th century.
Dr Kate Cooper is currently studying the ROM figurine to determine just what we can say about the authenticity of the ROM figurine in the light of new examination. Joining Kate to talk about the fascinating story of the ROM goddess will be Dr. Ken Lapatin from the J. Paul Getty Museum in Los Angeles. Dr Lapatin has long studied ancient gold and ivory figurines, and is author of Mysteries of the Snake Goddess, an exposé of the early 20th century 'Minoan' figurines in several museums around the world.
To ask questions during the hangout you can do so by tagging @ROMtoronto or @ROMAncient with #AskROM. The Q&A feature will also be available on Google+ to add your questions live.
For more information on the ROM's 'Minoan' Goddess, see the research page here.
- Wednesday, February 12, 2014
12:30 pm - 1:00 pm
ROM membership is your best value! Join now and save on selected programs and events.


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The Blog
Where's the CIA Leak?
5:37 PM, May 21, 2006 • By DANIEL MCKIVERGAN
From 2003 on, there were many officials pushing for a heavier "footprint" in Iraq. Powell, for example, pressed early on for more combat troops and advisors to, as he put it, crush the insurgency before it could get off the ground. And according to this New York Times piece, Powell and others also pushed for a larger contingent to train the Iraqi police force AFTER it became apparent that the force was in very bad shape. The Times also has this nugget concerning the CIA's pre-war assessment of the police force:


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Is Kenny Williams the Red Raiders' greatest hope in long chase for another 1,000-yard rusher?
Kenny Williams rushed for 824 yards and five touchdowns as a sophomore and finds himself in a similar position to former running back Eric Stephens at the same point in his own career.
Stephens was hyped to be the first Texas Tech running back since 1998 to break 1,000 rushing when both Byron Morris and the Red Raiders' Ricky Williams each rushed for more than 1,500 yards. Unfortunately, a very bad knee injury ended that journey with Stephens already halfway there through less than five full games.
The recovering running back returned to the offense last season, but wasn't the same and Williams became the No. 1 back.
With some impressive stats already under his belt, 1,000 yards does not seem out of the question for Williams.
"I'm trying," the current running back said. "We have the linemen to do it and the team to do it. I feel like our mentality has changed and we know we can compete for a Big 12 Championship."
It looks like the only thing that can hold Williams back is Texas Tech's own depth at running back. There are two solid players behind Williams in DeAndre Washington (back from his own knee injury sustained late in 2011) and redshirt freshman Quinton White on top of two other capable players in the depth.
"He's pushing me a lot," Williams said of Washington. "Knowing that DeAndre can replace me at any time pushes me. Even though we're great friends, there's still that competition there. I love that competition. Why else be in football? That's all it's about.
"Being able to have a lot of good running backs is big for us It gives you an opportunity to stay fresh and you have guys coming in and out of the game that you can trust."
Six Red Raiders have combined for 10 1,000-yard rushing seasons. Those guys are Hanspard (2,084, 1,374), Byron Morris (1,752, 1,279), Williams (1,582), James Gray (1,509, 1,006), James Hadnot (1,371, 1,369) and Doug McCutchen (1,068).


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Pierce: The 10 TV shows that we couldn't help but watch
Anyone who says there isn't anything good on television ought to watch while a TV critic tries to put a top 10 list together. It's not easy.
Not because there are so few good shows, but because there are so many.
This year's list is topped by a show that's in its fifth season. A show that's never been at the top of this list before. A show that has always been great and has become fantastic.
And that doesn't happen very often.
1. "The Good Wife" (CBS) • This legal/political/family drama succeeds on all levels. And it went to a new level when longtime allies became enemies when Alicia (Julianna Margulies) left the law firm she joined when the series began, leaving behind her angry ex-lover, Will (Josh Charles). Oh, and she made that decision the day she became first lady of Illinois. This is one of the few shows that leave you just dying to see what's going to happen next.
2. "Game of Thrones" (HBO) • There is nothing else on TV that comes close to the scope of this astonishing series and the storytelling is amazing.
3. "Breaking Bad" (AMC) • The tale of mild-mannered-schoolteacher-turned-vicious-druglord Walter White (Bryan Cranston) played out perfectly, providing one of the best series finales ever.
4. "Broadchurch" (BBC America) • This gripping murder mystery about the killing of a young boy was really about the small town where he lived and died.
5. "House of Cards" (Netflix) • Kevin Spacey was splendid as a vengeful congressman in this Americanization of the British series.
6. "Downton Abbey" (PBS) • Yes, it's a soap opera. But it's a really good soap opera and those British accents class it up.
7. "The Big Bang Theory" (CBS) • This is still the funniest show on TV and arguably funnier than it was when it began.
8. "Trophy Wife" (ABC) • This is the best show you're probably not watching a bright, funny comedy about a third wife (who's not just a trophy) and an extended family that includes her husband's two previous wives and three children.
9. "Rectify" (Sundance) • This is not your average TV drama. It's a moody, deliberately paced, compelling tale of a man freed from prison 20 years after he was convicted of rape and murder because of new evidence but did he commit the crime?
10. "Scandal" (ABC) • This show is so bad it's good. Kerry Washington is great in the middle of this addictive mess in which a presidential election was stolen, the president smothered a Supreme Court justice, and the vice president killed her gay husband. And that's just a tiny slice of the insanity.


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The man who scammed more than $86,000 from locals only to himself send the money to a Nigerian scammer got what he deserved.
It was no surprise when Michael Mihecoby was found guilty by a jury of two counts of third-degree felony fraud. The Farmington man later pleaded guilty to an additional five counts after more victims came forward.
A judge last Friday sentenced the 58-year-old to nine years in prison for his felony convictions. However, he likely will be out of prison in about 15 months, at which time he is ordered to begin repaying the money. Mihecoby was facing up to 21 years in prison for his crimes.
This is a sure sign to folks in the community that any crime committed, not matter it's degree, will be prosecuted. White-collar crime has just as much of an impact on people as other more violent crimes can have.
Let Mihecoby serve as an example of what can happen if you think stealing, borrowing, or doing anything else that may be misleading to others, may not seem like that big of a deal. Also, keep in your mind what happened to him. He stole from others only to turn around and be stolen from.
It's never OK to take from others. If you do, you deserve to be punished.
And if you think things like this could never happen to you, think again. The chief district judge is the case, John Dean, had to recuse himself from the sentencing after he learned he knew several of the victims involved. This just goes to show that criminals don't care who you are.
Officials believe Mihecoby scammed more than 40 people in an effort to send money to a man in Nigeria, who promised Mihecoby that he was the recipient of an $18 million inheritance.
Under the guise that Mihecoby owed outstanding property tax on land in Oklahoma that he was trying to sell, Mihecoby asked numerous people throughout the county for money. He promised to repay the money plus additional amounts once the land sold.
Maybe Mihecoby isn't a harden criminal with a long a rap sheet. Maybe he was just as naive in believing he was going to receive a big payday as those people who believed his lies.
The real tragedy is this story is that Mihecoby stole the trust of people he believed were his friends, which is something priceless and far greater to make amends for, Deputy District Attorney Paul Wainwright said. There is no excuse for what Mihecoby did.
This is a sad story for all those involved. Listen to your gut when the phone rings, a letter comes in the mail, or an email is received. If you're unsure what to do, ask someone. Sometimes, the smartest thing you can do is just say no, hang up, or hit delete.


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MIDDLESBORO, Ky. (WYMT) - Jimmy Jackson, a father, community leader, and businessman, died at age 83 on Friday in his Middlesboro home.
The choir at Binghamtown Baptist Church in Middlesboro still sings, but without its choir director of 48 years, Jimmy Jackson, who died at age 83 on Friday.
"He loved people. Whether it was at his insurance business or in church or just out in town he would always unconditionally loving everyone he came across," said Kelsey Beeler, his granddaughter.
Jimmy Jackson started working at Binghamtown Baptist Church when he was 12 years old, as a janitor. He later became a deacon, charter member, member of the board of trustees, sunday school superintendent, song leader, and minister of music. He was also an insurance agent and the chairman of multiple school boards.
"Faithfulness, steadfast, unmovable and iconic spiritual leader and a giant in our community," said Boyd Bingham, the pastor of Binghamtown Baptist Church.
Jimmy Jackson's granddaughter, Karra Jackson, says the legacy he left in the community, at the church, and with his family will carry on into the future.
"He would always come to the house on Saturday mornings together and we would wash our vehicles together. I mean I know it sounds like a very small thing, but that is something that instilled hard work in me," Jackson said.
A church leader says it took two people to fill Jimmy Jackson's shoes during services, leading songs and the choir. He sang at more than five thousand funerals, and the pastor says he is one of the pillars of the community.
He was also a sergeant in the Army during the Korean War. His funeral will be Wednesday..and visitation will be at Binghamtown Baptist Church from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m.


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Johnny James Hodge
- Filed Under
Monroe police arrested a man near midnight Tuesday after he reportedly hit his former live-in girlfriend when she refused to have sex with him.
According to the arrest report, Johnny James Hodge, 29, 109 Marx St., Monroe, and his former girlfriend got a room at a local motel in an attempt to reconcile. His ex-girlfriend was on the bed and Hodge told her he wanted to have sex. The woman told him they were ...


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Two men and a woman have been arrested in connection with a bank robbery on Monday.
FBI officials said a man held up the Amegy Bank in the 500 block of Kingwood Drive shortly after noon.
Witnesses told investigators that the robber had a gun and aggressively demanded cash.
The man got away with an undisclosed amount of cash.
Houston police went to the bank and their investigation led them to a nearby gas station, where they arrested two men and a woman. Investigators have not said what roles the second man and the woman played in the robbery. Their names have not been released.
Detectives said they recovered the money taken during the robbery.


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- Filed Under
I am one 100 percent in agreement with the person who wrote the letter on war-time actions! If you have not been there, do not knock it! I'm a Purple Heart World War II vet.
The mayor seems to forget the advertised started time for the city council agenda is 4 p.m. He would rather fill up anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes with presentations. How about starting with the agenda at the advertised time? People take time off from work to be at the meeting for their agenda items. It would be nice to hear them in a reasonable amount of time.
The lady who is part of the Writers Group finished her article about health care with the advice to all of us saying, "It's so much easier to complain and not look at the facts or offer real solutions." She should take her own advice with expounding on the Lake Powell pipeline.
In the last 60 days, gas has shot up over $1.10 a gallon in leaps of 22 cents, 15 cents, 18 cents, and now that a barrel of oil is fast approaching $100 dollars gas has dropped 4 cents in a week, by one penny at a time. Wow! I can hardly contain my excitement!
I'm tired of hearing ranchers say they "developed" the water on the Arizona Strip, as if they made water appear where it had never been before. There have been springs out there forever. Native peoples depended on them for over 10,000 years. What the ranchers did was cover them up and subvert them, with pipes taking the water to "ponds" for their cattle. Another part of their water "development" was digging out water ponds all over the place so that the landscape is pocked with them. The ranchers have altered the landscape and springs for their own purpose (cattle), and that is not in my view positive "development."
With all the bad feelings toward the old politicians in Washington that have been there for way too long, I would like to add my 2 cents. For those that say it is time to retire Hatch just because he has been there too long and has voted against certain principles, even though he has also voted for some good ones, I would like to ask you, what about Santorum, Gingrich and Ron Paul? They have also done the same thing - no better, no worse, yet the downward spiral has continued while they were part of that good ole boys club.
Obama's concerned about "unelected people" on the Supreme Count making legal decisions. I'm concerned about his unelected czars making all kinds of regulatory decisions on everything.
It does get rather tiresome (if not annoying) to hear Utah state and local politicians (and wannabes) continually harp on their ability and the need to "think outside the box" when they have difficulty even thinking inside the box in the first place!
I recently had a need to visit an instacare. I felt my condition was serious, but not life-threatening, so I chose instacare instead of the emergency room. When I arrived, I was told it would be an hour wait time. That hour turned into three hours! In an effort not to mislead the public, I suggest it change the name from instacare to eventual-care.
With all the beautiful hiking trails St. George has, I would like to know why St. George golf course lets people bike, rollerblade, jog, stroll with a baby stroller, etc., while I am playing golf. I do pay to play. Maybe the city should charge these people who use the course for their enjoyment too. Also what the heck happened to the greens? I hope it wasn't human error.
Loud-mouth Al Sharpton is at it again. He's in the process of almost starting a near riot. With him there is no innocence until proven guilty. Remember the Duke lacrosse case, when Al Sharpton rounded up all the local African Americans to determine guilt of three white lacrosse players for allegedly raping a woman who later admitted it was all a hoax. The same thing is happening with the George Zimmerman case, guilt before the verdict. Not once has Sharpton ever apologized for the innocent lives he has ruined in the past.


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- Filed Under
Thank you for publishing the column by Mike Cubelo. It's too bad Mr. Cubelo missed our group on Easter morning. We are the Piedmont Humanists and we provide an alternative to organized religion for those who have most recently been referred to as the "nones."
Our group was supposed to have a place to meet at 11 o'clock that morning but the store that usually accommodates us was closed. We could have gone home unhappy, but instead, we pushed some outdoor chairs together and started a conversation that spontaneously led to the subject of Easter. We discussed the original pagan holiday and then turned to the various scriptures dealing with the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus.
Our group started with six individuals, but swelled to 18 by the time the store opened for us. For those who do not attend church, this is a wonderful outlet. Our discussions are secular and cover many topics.
Joyce Bates
The writer is secretary of Piedmont Humanists.


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First, thanks to everyone for providing such good discussion around the article. Reading comments is what I enjoy the most about writing. Second, I want to address a few recurring themes in the commentary:VIRUSES. It is true that the Katadyn filter inside the H2O Amigo does not offer virus protection. It is also true that the incidence of backcountry water-acquired illness due to viruses in the USA is unknown. There is not sufficient scientific data exploring how often viruses make people sick in the backcountry. However, even if there was such data, it would invariably be limited to specific geographic regions. This is because the types and quantities of contaminants in a waterway are dependent on land use patterns. Waterways downstream of population-dense communities are more likely to contain traces of human waste and therefore to contain viruses that make people sick. Waterways near areas with spare human population or are upstream of large communities are less likely to contain viruses. When discussing backcountry water treatment, various technologies shouldn't be thought of as "better" or "worse" based on the absolute number or type of contaminants filtered, destroyed, or otherwise rendered harmless. Performance metrics aside, a water treatment technology is only as good as where it is planning to be used. For instance, a technology that does not offer coverage for viruses might be a bad choice for thru-hiking the Potomac Heritage Trail, which passes by a large number of densely populated areas and ends in Washington, DC. On the other hand, a technology that covers bacteria and parasites, but not viruses, is perfectly acceptable for hikes in sparsely populated areas. WHY I CHOSE A DISCONTINUED PRODUCT: An area of interest of mine has always been low tech vs high tech in the backcountry. This article was thus an extension of this curiosity, where the H2O Amigo was the the best representative of the gravity filter concept, even though it has been discontinued (and perhaps making a comeback!?) My assumption was that since we, the readers of BPL, value ingenuity and ease of at-home modification and since the H2O Amigo can be made at home for low cost, this article was relevant.
The review covers some interesting points, but I think the technologies are too diverse. An article with an overview and comparisons of electronic purifiers (UV and MIOX), chemical treatments, and filters is needed, with a separate article on each of the categories in detail.The review is for a discontinued item, but there are a number of available gravity filters in the same class and should have been covered:Katadyn Base CampPlatypus GravityWorksMSR AutoFlow Gravity MicrofilterAquamira Frontier ProSawyer gravity filtersSince there are dependable components available, a MYOG article on gravity filters would be very interesting.As to the Steripen, the manufacturer does state that it takes 2-5 days to recharge the batteries with the solar charger. I think that takes it off the table as a viable hiking option with the rechargeable batteries. That option is better for remote/3rd-world use where AC power and battery availability are limited. I do use one and I remove the batteries for storage. I think it makes an excellent day hiking option, where you want to be able to use the water quickly. I back up any of my mechanical water purification choices with MicroPur tablets. The Steripen and chlorine dioxide options make a good pairing. You can stretch battery life by treating water overnight and using the UV option for quick access during the day.
The Amigo is slated to be released, again, better'n ever.
Dale,I must respectfully disagree with your implication that the technologies covered in the review are "too diverse" for comparison. A cross-technology comparison of water treatment methods is important because each technology has its own benefits and drawbacks specific to the technology as a whole. Such a comparison allows a user to decide which of these benefits and drawbacks are more suited to his or her own situation (mine was distance hiking in western Montana). From there, the decision about which specific model of technology to use can be made. I think this might be what you are looking for, which was not the aim of this particular article. I am surprised that there are not MORE cross-tech comparisons on gear test sites.Had I had the time and financial resources, I might have liked to have covered more gravity filters and UV pens and had a really large cross-tech comparison. A significant problem, however would have arisen: As this was real-life field testing, we only drank so much water each day. Including four or five other devices would have meant less water tested per device so, statistically speaking, the comparisons would have been less powerful and some of the issues described in the article (the fraying SteriPen charger padding and broken clip) might not have come to light. So, at my own discretion, I decided to go with what I felt were the best representations of each technology. There is already a very good gravity filter MYOG article published on this site by Bill Fornshell: http://www.backpackinglight.com/cgi-bin/backpackinglight/forums/thread_display.html?forum_thread_id=1294The 2-5 day battery charge requirement DOES NOT take the rechargeable option off the table if the device is carried outside the pack where it can charge throughout the day while the other set of batteries is in use. It does, however, make it a less attractive option along trails that receive limited sunlight.Best,Dan
Did you make a filter bag for it? Any pics or directions , videos? I am interesting in a gravity filter like the amigo. The Kadyden is 70.00 bucks and group size. I just want a smaller lighter weight version does sawyer have that?
do you have a link to the filter you use? Is there a set with water bag or bladder and filter in one?
well, despite other's concerns, I'll put in a plus for the steripen. I've used a steripen regularly for 3 years and have never had any issue, and I regularly drown it and beat it about, as it's on my waist belt when I fish and I'm nver one to worry about stuff and have been been kinda rough with it in the process. I find it is perfect to replace my water in a small gatorade bottle (600ml) which I drink as I fish, quite handy and more superior for this purpose than the filters.My only niggle is that, of course, steripen can't do anything about the flavour of the water - it's safe, but there've been times when I wished for a carbon filter to "cleanse" the taste on the palate a little, e.g. when I've been fishing areas with livestock near the water (bleh).Craig
"... it's safe, but there've been times when I wished for a carbon filter to "cleanse" the taste on the palate a little, e.g. when I've been fishing areas with livestock near the water (bleh)."Ha, ha... Yeah, I know the problem. Have you tried a few grains of crystal lite? Usually, a little packet(To-Go or something) will bo two or three bottles.
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Jasmine Zoha, grade two, Overlook Primary School
- Filed Under
'Star of the Show'
As tiny, jealous ornaments look up at me in defeat
I feel like a star, literally
I am like the frosting on the Christmas tree cupcake
I am the last thing crowned up on the tree
But you know what they say, save the best for last
Am I bragging, you ask?
Well, I sure do my not-so-easy-task
I bask on this tree
For one week, two weeks, or is it three!!
You might not believe this but it is quite easy
Even when the air is getting very, very breezy
As kids sleep snoozily
St. Nick tumbles down the chimney
I think to myself: how does the big boy fit?!?!
Being the star you see, comes easily to me
Seeing one kid jump up in delight
Seeing another turn bright red ? since all he got was coal
Then the family packs me up tight
Lastly I look back on the Christmas evening in delight
What a day! what a night!
Jack Slattery, grade five, Pawling Central Middle School
'Midnight Ride'
As I slide down the chimneys on Christmas Eve,
I think of all the children who are fast asleep.
I look at my list, are they naughty or nice,
as I peek down below, the ground is covered in glossy ice.
With my titanic bag of presents swung on my back,
I ride from house to house with the schedule right on track.
I carefully place the presents under the tree,
all the time shouting, "Ho, ho, ho!" with glee.
While I soar through the sky,
in my sleigh I fly.
On this magic night,
there simply is no fright.
I bring happiness to every soul,
before flying back to my workshop at the North Pole.
Where I start planning in my attic,
for next year's Christmas magic.
Ditte Isak, grade five, Pawling Central Middle School


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text: DraftExpressProfile: Vaidas Cepukaitis, Stats, Comparisons, and Outlook Loading NBA Mock Drafts 2016 NBA Mock Draft 2017 NBA Mock Draft Complete Draft History My Mock Draft 2015 Early Entry List 2015 Extended NBA Mock Draft Rankings Top 100 Prospects NCAA Seniors NCAA Juniors NCAA Sophomores NCAA Freshmen International 1994 International 1995 International 1996 International 1997 NBA Draft Eligible Features DX T-Shirts Complete Draft History Measurements History NBA Player Salaries NBA Contract Calculator Player Agents Listings NBA Agent/Agency Affiliations RSCI Early Entry List Team Clubhouses Draft Pick Transactions DraftExpress Podcast NBA Draft Lottery History Videos Scouting Reports Group Interviews Highlights Interview & Highlights Interviews NBA Draft Workouts Newest Popular Practice Footage Slow Motion Dunks Stats NCAA Stats NBA Stats Euroleague Stats EuroCup Stats Spanish ACB Stats Italian A1 Stats French Pro A Stats Adriatic Stats Greek Stats D-league Stats Team Stats Stats by Team Articles Archives NCAA Draft Prospects International Draft Prospects High School NCAA Commentary International Commentary General Draft Commentary NBA Pre-Draft Camp D-League NBA NBA Summer Leagues NBA Team Needs Interviews Humor Mailbag Site Announcements Sections DX T-Shirts DX Home NCAA Home International Home NBA Home High School Home D-League Home Columnists Jonathan Givony Matt Kamalsky Mike Schmitz Kyle Nelson Derek Bodner Josh Riddell Jim Hlavac E Weiss Jacob Eisenberg DraftExpress User Menu Edit Profile Log In Log Out DraftExpress DX T-Shirts About Us Contact Us Opportunities Privacy Policy Our RSS Feeds Vaidas Cepukaitis Team: NON-NBA College Team: Rudupis PhysicalsPositions Misc H: 6' 10" W: 210 lbs Bday: 05/16/1989 (26 Years Old) Current: PF NBA: PF Possible: PF High School: Hometown: Alytus, Lithuania Basic Per Game Statistics - Comprehensive Stats - Statistical Top 25s Player Page  | Player Stats | Related Articles  | Add to My Draft Express   Roundup: Spectacular De ColoApril 23, 2008Vaidas Cepukaitis has regressed this season in terms of production in the Lithuanian NKL (second division), going from averages of 10.3 points and 7.6 rebounds in 22 minutes, to seeing his playing time decreasing to only 16 minutes, with 9 points and 5.3 rebounds per game. But it goes beyond the numbers, as hes barely showing any glimpse of expanding his offensive game (unlike what he had displayed this past summer). No drives and no low-post moves (at least in the few games weve seen of him this season), a few short jumpers, regular pick-and-roll situations finishing near the basket, and second-chance points off offensive rebounds. We were certainly expecting something more at this point. [Read Full Article] U-18 European Championship: The BigsSeptember 5, 2007Although we were growing a bit skeptical about a player who was showing the very same stuff since the first time we saw him a couple of years ago at the U-16 European Championship, Cepukaitis has delivered signs of real skill development in Madrid. Still a rebounding and shot-blocking specialist, with his mid-range jumpers as an offensive complement, he was more active trying some other things. However, an important part of the intrigue comes with his physical development. Having grown a bit (he looks at least 6-10, and perhaps even taller) and enjoying great wingspan, hes slowly but constantly getting stronger, starting to fill out his excellent frame. Hes also a nicely athletic player, with solid leaping ability and interesting reactivity. Terrific tools to rebound the ball and block shots indeed. 9.1 captures and 2.9 rejections in less than 23 minutes per game sounds like outstanding production. The guy has a great sense of timing, shows very good position and, very important, the willingness to get it done. But hes not only about amassing stats; Cepukaitis is a very solid defender, physical in the low post, quick enough for a big guy, rather smart not to get easily cheated with fakes and pretty intense generally speaking. Moving to the scoring department, he still primarily relies on his mid-range jumper, pretty solid and with a high-release point, both because of his mechanics and his leaping effort. But this time he showed a bit more ball-handling in order to gain an advantage in certain situations. Nothing really remarkable, but a couple of dribbles here or there, looking more aggressive than in the past, and also more active in the game. Indeed we could see him igniting the fastbreak by putting the ball on the floor without any hesitation. He even tried to play in the low post a few times, which is refreshing for a guy who almost refused any physical contact in the offensive end in the past (probably due to his lack of strength). He still looks rather unpolished there, anyway. Besides his mid-range stroke, he was quite productive in second-chance opportunities off offensive rebounds, showing nice touch in short shots. Still looking like a pure role player, even if a very good one, Cepukaitis might be able to develop into a very intriguing player down the road. [Read Full Article] U-19 World Championship Review: Big MenAugust 29, 2007The skinny Lithuanian big man didnt shine too bright in the championship, but still delivered a good rebounding effort. He showed the same old strengths and limitations in his game. He severely lacks versatility on the offensive end, as he basically sticks to mid-range jumpers and some eventual garbage points. With poor footwork and sub-par strength, hes completely ineffective in the low post, while he doesnt show any ball-handling skills worth mentioning. Things look better if we talk about defense and rebounding. Hes a pretty solid guy, who uses his mobility and excellent wingspan well. His rebounding production per minute was just outstanding. Still, were eager to see some noticeable improvements in a guy who skill-wise looks exactly the same as he did two years ago, even if he's developing nicely physically. [Read Full Article] Euroleague Final Four Nike Junior TournamentMay 11, 2007One of the centrepieces for Zalgiris dominance in the tournament, his defensive presence and rebounding ability provided great presences for his team. Cepukaitis is a 6-10 inside player with some athleticism and an interesting body (although still skinny, he has a decent frame, and a great wingspan). Cepukaitis shows a nose and desire for the rebounds. He always throws both arms up high in the air searching for the ball and enjoys good hands to grab it. On defense, his wingspan is pretty annoying for his rivals, while he displays accurate lateral quickness for a big man. Offensively, hes a very limited player that usually settles for mid-range jumpers. He looks soft and extremely unpolished in the low post, suffering from very poor footwork. Also, he doesnt show any ball-handling skills to speak of. The most concerning part about his skill set is that he doesnt seem to have improved much in the last two years, as he displays similar strengths and weaknesses than he displayed in the 2005 U-16 European Championship. At this point, chances are he will evolve into a good complimentary player; he would need to make dramatic strides in his game to emerge as a serious offensive threat. [Read Full Article] U-18 European Championship Prospects: CentersSeptember 17, 2006We finish with the Lithuanian bigs, a couple of very valuable players for this silver-medalist team. Vaidas Cepukaitis had already drawn attention last summer in León at cadet stage. Hes a 6-9 inside player with an excellent wingspan and solid athleticism. Not very skilled (hes still not much of a post player), most of his offensive production comes with mid-range jumpers that he releases from a very high vantage point. Where he really shines is doing the dirty work; rebounding and blocking shots. He has excellent timing and nice positioning. However, his potential looks a bit limited unless he grows (it could happen, he looks underdeveloped and hes a first-year junior) or develops his skill set. [Read Full Article] 2006 Albert Schweitzer Tournament: Top ProspectsMay 8, 2006Another player born in 1989, and another guy who will significantly grow, because he has a childs body. His role in this tournament didnt go beyond discreet, but he enjoys enormous potential with his great wingspan. He might easily reach the seven feet mark, and hes one of those players who does pretty well with everything he tries. He doesnt force things and his movements are decent. Of course, given his lack of weight, hes still very limited in regards to trying some actions. But again, what he does, he does it well. [Read Full Article] © 2015 DraftExpress LLC All rights reserved.