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In rabbinical tradition Enoch is known as being the first human soul to become the Messiah or Anointed One (i.e. the Christ), the Great Teacher and Initiator, from whom all our wisdom teachings are derived and who initiates us into the mysteries of life.
The Hebraic-Christian bible refers to Enoch as the seventh from Adam [1] and son of Lamed, a member of the line of descent through Seth, the fourth son of Adam and Eve, by which the knowledge of God was preserved. Genesis describes Enoch as begetting his son Methuselah when he (Enoch) was sixty-five years old, then 'walking with God' for a further three hundred years, during which time he had further sons and daughters. At the end of this time Enoch 'was not', for 'God took him'.[2] 'Walking with God' is a phrase also used in connection with Noah, and refers to a prophetic life spent in intimate communion with the spiritual or divine world. The Book of Enoch states that 'All his [Enoch's] action was with the holy ones, and with the watchers [i.e. great angels] during his life'.[3] Ecclesiasticus refers to Enoch as pleasing the Lord and being 'translated' (i.e. taken up bodily into heaven without dying), being a 'pattern of repentance'.[4] St Paul, in his epistle to the Hebrews, echoes this, saying that: 'By faith Enoch was translated, that he should not see death; and was not found, for before his translation he had this testimony, that he pleased God'.[5]
The Book of Enoch recounts that Enoch had been a cobbler (i.e. a mender of souls)[6] who, because of his life of piety, was taken up into heaven and raised to the first rank of angels, where he was transformed into the great archangel Metatron.[7] The rabbinical tradition further explains that Enoch was the first human being to complete all the initiations on the human path of evolution. As a result he ascended bodily into the highest heaven, where he became Metatron, chief of all the archangels or creative spirits. He was given the divine powers and keys of heaven,[8] and made guardian of the treasures of heaven.[9] There, in the highest of the seven heavens, because of his love for humanity he chose to remain with and teach those below him in evolution rather than rise and reunite totally with the Godhead.[10] He will, therefore, remain with this world to help it until all human souls reach enlightenment. As Metatron, he is known as the Great Angel of the Presence, the Angel of the Covenant and Guardian of the seven-pillared Temple of Wisdom, who prepares souls for their resurrection.
One particular rabbinical tradition states that, as Metatron, Enoch's role is to announce and prepare people for the coming of the Messiah, whilst not being the Messiah himself. This is said to be summed up in the following passage from Exodus: 'Behold, I send an Angel before thee, to keep thee in the way, and to bring thee into the place which I have prepared'.[11] Enoch stands by and protects the throne of glory (the Merkabah), presiding over the seven heavens and 'halls' (or 'mansions') through which souls have to journey in order to reach the glory of the throne, on which is seated the Messiah, the Light of God.[12] In this role Enoch is associated with the prophet Elijah, who prepares the way for each manifestation of the Messiah or Christ, as the herald and witness of the Messiah.
Another rabbinical tradition explains this by stating that Metatron is the actual spirit (angel) or spiritual form of the Messiah, and that Enoch was the first human soul to consciously attain that crown of achievement and title. That is to say, Metatron is the 'likeness' of the Messiah or Christ, seated upon his throne and ruling all the hierarchies of heaven. Cabalists perceive Metatron as the universal form or soul of the supra-individual or universal man, called the Messiah, whose body is composed of 'avir' (æther) and whose divine spirit is 'Shekhinah' (the Presence of God immanent in the cosmos), the combination of which is light (i.e. soul). By right effort, the individual human soul can be transformed and reintegrated consciously, with full knowledge, into this universal soul. Enoch was the first to achieve this; and, having achieved it, he now helps all other souls to achieve the same. Other traditions refer to it as becoming fully illumined, or reaching the highest state of enlightenment, like the Buddha or Dattatreya.
Matching the Enochian tradition, cabalistic lore represents Elijah as the Angel of the Covenant (i.e. Metatron), as well as the forerunner of the Messiah and subduer of the Anti-Messiah (i.e. Anti-Christ). Historically, Elijah is identified with Phinehas, grandson of Aaron, the high priest and brother of Moses. Like Enoch, at the close of his ministry Elijah was translated alive into heaven by a 'whirlwind', ascending in a 'chariot of fire' (i.e. a body of light).[13]
Jesus of Nazareth, also known as the Christ or Messiah, performed the same feat, whilst John the Baptist was his herald, who prepared the way for the coming of Christ.[14] Together these two great prophets showed the two manifestations associated with Enoch-the harbinger of Christ and the Christ himself. When John the Baptist announced his cousin Jesus as the one who was to come, who was greater than he himself, he was referring to Jesus as being the Christ, with himself as the harbinger or herald.[15] To confirm this, John the Baptist was equated by his disciples with Elijah, as a reincarnation of Elijah,[16] whilst not only was Jesus recognised as the Christ by his disciples but also he openly stated that he was the Christ to the Samaritan woman at the well of Samaria.[17]
In Islamic tradition the prophet Idris, 'the Green One' or 'Evergreen', is commonly associated with either Elijah or Enoch. Idris, a saint and prophet whom God raised to heaven and who appears whenever some miraculous help is needed, is described in the Koran as a man of truth, sincerity, constancy and patience.[18] The Sabians (the religious community of the Syrians, reputedly the most ancient of the nations) relate that they received their religion from Seth (the fourth son of Adam, who took the place of Abel) and Idris (Enoch), and that they have a book which they ascribe to Seth, referred to as The Book of Seth. Idris, or Enoch, is also said to have written a book, or set of books.
Idris (Arabic, Idreesa) is the Arabic pronunciation of Osiris (Egyptian, Wesir, or Ausar), the son of Geb ('Earth') and Nut ('Heaven'). Osiris signifies the creative aspect of the Light of God, the First-Born, the Son/Sun of the Heavenly Mother and Earth Father.[19] His feminine aspect or counterpart is personified as his sister Isis (Egyptian, Aset). The name of their son, Horus (Egyptian, Kheru), is that from which the Greek word, Christos, is derived.[20]
The earliest myth concerning Osiris states that he died through drowning, rather than by dismemberment, and then was resurrected with the help of Isis. This symbolism links with the idea that Enoch was Atlas, king of Atlantis, as stated by Eusebius.[21] Atlas is identical with the Egyptian god, Temu (or Atum),[22] whose symbol was the sacred hill or island that rises above the waters (i.e. Atlantis). Temu was personified as the great predynastic king who was renowned for being the first man to have become divine by being immortalised (i.e. resurrected, or raised above the waters of mortal life) in his physical body. He was depicted as a bearded initiate-king, wearing the crowns of North and South Egypt, and carrying the sceptre and ankh. But, uniquely, he is shown wearing the red crown of the North inside the white crown of the South, which is the reverse of the headwear of all other gods and pharaohs.
Temu is synonymous with Enoch, which name is actually a title, meaning 'Initiate'. According to ancient Egyptian tradition, all the Egyptian wisdom teaching was derived from Temu, including language, hieroglyphic writing, numerology, cosmology, geomancy, and the seven liberal arts and sciences. The Hebrews later referred to this wisdom as Kabalah ('the Received Wisdom'). The Greeks, in their turn, associated Temu or Enoch with Hermes Trismegistus ('Hermes the Thrice-Greatest'), as also did the Sabaean cultists of mediaeval Arabia and the Mandaean Gnostics of Iraq, whilst the Romans named him Mercurius (i.e. Mercury)-a name derived, like the Greek Christos, from the Egyptian Kheru, or Maa Kheru, meaning 'the True Word'.
In Egyptian cosmology Temu is, as a god, the Creator, whose name means both 'All' and 'Nothing'. In the beginning he lay dormant as the seed of life within the Nun, the universal Void or Darkness (Greek, Chaos), which is also described as the Great Ocean. When awake and active, he became the 'Spirit that moved upon the face of the waters',[23] who came into being of himself. Egyptian myth describes Atum as creating himself by the projection of his own heart, bringing forth eight archetypes or gods and goddesses (neterw) as a manifestation of the eight fundamental principles enshrined within him. These eight archetypes, together with himself as Atum-Ra, make up the nine of the Great Ennead of Heliopolis (i.e. Ra, Shu, Tefnut, Geb, Nut, Osiris, Isis, Seth and Nepthys), in which Ra signifies Atum manifest as Light, with Shu and Tefnut being his male and female aspects. Within this divine trinity, Geb and Nut signify the earthly and heavenly polarity of the light, Osiris and Isis the creative and receptive aspects, and Seth and Nepthys the 'shadow' aspects that are required to make the light visible and known.
Temu (Enoch) 'walked with God' for three hundred years and was aged three hundred and sixty-five when 'God took him'. Enoch is said to have filled three hundred books with his writings, whilst three hundred and sixty-five (the number of days in a normal year) refers to the completion and perfection of a solar time cycle, and thus signifies the full initiate or master as well as the sun (e.g. Sun of Righteousness, a title of Christ). The number 365 is also related to the fourteen sections into which Seth divided Osiris' body (i.e. 3 + 6 + 5 = 14).
Ancient myth refers to Enoch as the Phoenix King (i.e. Atlas). His country, Atlantis, is also known as Phoenicia, the land of the phoenixes. Atlas was the eldest son of the great god Poseidon and a mortal woman, Cleito, daughter of Evenor and Leucippe. He was the eldest of ten sons, comprising five pairs of twins.[24] Atlas married Pleione, also known as Hesperis, daughter of Atlas' brother, Hesperus. Pleione was the Phoenix Queen. By her Atlas had thirteen daughters – the seven Pleiades,[25] the five Hyades,[26] and the nymph Calypso. Symbolically, the Pleiades were represented as phoenixes or doves, whilst the Hyades were represented as pigs. Maia, the eldest of the seven Pleiades (and equated with Persephone), was wooed by Zeus and subsequently gave birth to a son called Dionysus, who was, like his grandfather, also referred to as Hermes or Mercury.
Allegorically speaking, the seven Pleiades were said to have been lifted out of the watery depths on the shoulders of their father, Atlas, whence they became the seven sacred islands of Atlantis known as the Atlantides or Hesperides. In fact, all of Atlas' daughters were lifted out of the great Deep and into heaven, where they were placed by Zeus as stars. This was done as a reward for guarding the golden apples, looking after Zeus' infant son, Dionysus, and demonstrating sisterly love after the death of their brother, Hyas, who had been killed by a wild beast. These starry daughters comprise a significant part of the constellation Taurus, with the Pleiades marking the alta major chakra on the neck of the bull and the Hyades forming the nose. From this symbolism it can be deduced that the constellation of Taurus represents the heavenly Atlantis or celestial form of Atlas; and indeed it is known as the Alpha of the zodiac, from which all else is derived. Its counterpart on earth would be the terrestrial Atlantis.
In later Greek myth Atlas became known as Agenor, King of Phoenicia, whilst his queen, Pleione, was called Telephassa. Three sons were ascribed to them-Minos, Sarpedon and Rhadamanthus.
As a symbol, the phoenix (whose name is associated with the word phoenice, meaning 'purple-red', 'lovely', 'beautiful') is basically a dove that has grown beautiful by means of its love, which stains its breast purple-red through its expression of love and produces a plumed crest of illumination as a result. At the end of each cycle of phenomenal existence it is consumed in its own sweet-smelling fiery pyre of love, from which it is reborn, renewed and more beautiful than before. (The Shakespeare poem, The Phoenix and Turtle, tells something of this.) The phoenix is said to dwell at the top of the palm tree-the tree of life. This relates to Atlas (Enoch), who dwells in the highest heaven, as also to the Atlas bone at the top of the spine (the physical representation of the tree of life). In this latter symbolism, Atlas' daughters, the Pleiades, signify the alta major chakra at the back or nape of the neck, known as the Pan chakra or 'Mouth of God'. Through it the spiritual breath of life enters the body. Its earthly counterpart, the physical breath, enters the body via the mouth and nose, symbolised by the Hyades.
Atlas (Enoch) is famed for holding heaven and earth apart, and the universe in balance. The lifting of his daughters from earth to heaven is associated with this. His arms and legs, which perform this mighty feat, are represented in ancient tradition by two pillars known as the Antediluvian Pillars or Pillars of Enoch. Classical tradition refers to them as the Pillars of Hercules. In Hebraic, biblical and Masonic tradition they are called the Pillars of Solomon. Modern Freemasonry refers to them as the Great Pillars. Their Hebrew names are Jachin and Boaz. Jachin is the creative sun pillar, associated with the divine Wisdom, whilst Boaz is the reflective moon pillar, associated with the divine Intelligence or Understanding. They form respectively the right and left-hand pillars of the entrance to the Temple of Solomon, which temple is emblematic of our soul. The whole of Creation – the whole universe – is upheld in its manifestation by these twin pillars, which represent the polarity of life. The story of Enoch (Atlas), who is doomed to stand upon the earth and uphold the heavens with his arms, thereby keeping apart the earth and the sky as well as right from left, is an allegory of this fundamental polarity.
Upon these pillars Enoch is said to have inscribed the antediluvian arts and sciences, and laws of the universe. This is a way of representing the Book of Secret Wisdom, or Book of Enoch, that was delivered to Enoch by the angels of heaven, as recounted in the cabalistic text, Sepher-ha-Zohar. The ancient Egyptians represented this with their hieroglyphs that were carved and painted on the stone pillars of their temples. Solomon had his great pillars cast in bronze by his chief architect and master craftsman, Hiram Abif, in which the sacred words and symbols were moulded. The pack of Tarot cards, sometimes known as 'the sidereal Book of Enoch', is supposed to originate from these pillar 'decorations', whilst Gypsy tradition states that the cards are sacred to Tro or Tehutio, the Romany Hermes-Mercury.
The third or central pillar that completes what is a sacred trio of great pillars is the pillar set up in the centre or heart of the temple. Called Mahabone, this pillar is represented in Solomon's Temple by the altar of incense. It is symbolic in particular of the heart of Enoch. The sweet-smelling incense that is burnt upon this double-cubed altar represents the pyre of incense that immolates the phoenix, and from which the same phoenix rises, reborn or resurrected, to become the Christ or Messiah, the Phoenix King, whose throne of glory is represented in the temple by the Ark of the Covenant with its Mercy Seat.
© Peter Dawkins, FBRT, 2004
1 Jude, v, 14. Enoch, lx, 8.
2 Genesis v, 18-24.
3 Enoch, xii, 2.
4 Ecclesiasticus, xlix, 14.
5 Hebrews, xi, 5.
6 See Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, I, i.
7 Book of Enoch, edited and translated by Hugo Odeburg (1928). See Charles Ponce, Kabbalah, ch 2, p 37-38 (London: Garnstone Press, 1974).
8 Including the forty-five keys to the combinations of graven letters.
9 A. E. Waite, The Holy Kabbala, Bk I, ch 1, p 17; Bk VIII, ch 2, p 399. (London: Williams & Norgate, 1929.)
10 Z'ev ben Shimon Halevi, A Kabbalistic Universe, ch 23, pp 163-164 (London: Rider & Co, 1977).
11 Exodus, xxiii, 20.
12 The 'throne', known in cabalistic tradition as the World of Formation, signifies the subtle realms of the seven heavens in which the myriads of angels and souls of humanity dwell. Its 'glory' or seat is in the midst of the highest or seventh heaven. The Messiah, who sits on this throne, is associated with the World of Creation, the realm of pure Light, also known as the triune heaven of heavens. The first, highest or innermost World, which is that of the Absolute, is referred to as the World of Emanation, the hidden source of all else. The fourth, lowest or outermost World, which is that of outer manifestation such as takes place in the physical universe, is called the World of Fact or Action. This fourth World is symbolised as the footstool of the throne.
13 II Kings, ii, 1-11.
14 Malachi, iv, 5; Matthew, iii, 1-4; xi, 14; xvii, 10-13. Mark, i, 1-8; ix, 13; Luke, i, 13-17, 76-79; xvi, 16.
15 Matthew, iii, 11-17; x, 2-15; Mark, i, 1-8; Luke, i, 13-17, 76-79; iii, 15-17.
16 Luke, vii, 19-35.
17 John, iv, 25-26.
18 Quran, Surah of the Prophets, 19.56; 21.85.
19 Genesis, i, 1: 'In the beginning God made [i.e. created, or became] heaven and earth.'
20 The Egyptian hieroglyphs used the two letters, KhR, for Kheru (Horus), which translated into the Greek Chi Rho (ChR), signifying Christos.
21 Eusebius, Praep. Ev., ix, 17.
22 The name of Atum is simply a form of Temu, both names being rendered simply as the consonants 'T-M' in Egyptian writing.
23 Genesis, i, 2.
24 Atlas and Eumelus (Hesperus), Ampheres and Evaemon, Mneseus and Autochthon, Elasippus and Mestor, Azaes and Diaprepas.
25 Maia, Electra, Taygeta, Alcyone, Celaeno, Sterope and Merope.
26 Ambrosia, Eudora, Pedile, Coronis and Polyxo. (When the Hyades are considered as a group of seven stars, the two additional stars are Phyto and Thyene, or Dione.)
The Francis Bacon Research Trust


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"A major new name on the new music horizon."
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Benjamin Wallfisch is an Emmy®, Ivor Novello® and multiple World Soundtrack Award nominated composer and conductor.
"A rare talent - a tremendous composer with a superb dramatic sense."
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Benjamin Wallfisch is an Emmy®, Ivor Novello® and multiple World Soundtrack Award nominated composer and conductor.
"Surely one of the finest accompanists anywhere on the podium."
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Benjamin Wallfisch is an Emmy®, Ivor Novello® and multiple World Soundtrack Award nominated composer and conductor.
Benjamin made his scoring debut at the age of 24 on the personal invitation of Lars von Trier, composing the music for DEAR WENDY. This score earned him his first nomination as 'Discovery of the Year' in the 2005 World Soundtrack Awards and also a nomination for 'Best Original Score' in the 2006 Danish Film Academy Awards.
His subsequent score, for Rupert Wyatt's THE ESCAPIST was nominated as 'Best Original Film Score' in the 2009 Ivor Novello Awards and earnt his second nomination as 'Discovery of the Year' in the 2008 World Soundtrack Awards.
Upcoming scoring projects include HOURS, the directorial debut of Eric Heisserer (Nightmare on Elm St, The Thing) starring Paul Walker (Fast and Furious, Fast 5) and DESERT DANCER starring Frieda Pinto (Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Slumdog Millionaire).
In addition to his solo composition work, for the last seven years Benjamin has closely collaborated with Academy Award and Golden Globe winning composer Dario Marianelli as arranger and orchestrator. Read more
After winning First Prize at the British Reserve Insurace Conducting Competition in 2001, at the age of 22 Benjamin was appointed Associate Conductor of the English Chamber Orchestra and in 2003 Assistant Conductor of the Netherlands Radio Philharmonic. Since then he has conducted orchestras around the world including the Los Angeles Philharmonic at the Hollywood Bowl and the Sydney Symphony at the Sydney Opera House.
He has been commissioned over 40 times, has had his music premièred at the BBC Proms and was recently elected an Associate of the Royal Academy of Music. Current concert commissions include those from the London Philharmonic Orchestra and the Los Angeles Chamber Orchestra. His concert music is published by Edition Peters.
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The Philharmonia, playing at the top of its form, is brilliantly conducted by Benjamin Wallfisch. If I hear a greater record of Shostakovich's music this year, I shall be astonished." Robert Matthew-Walker, International Record Review 03.07.06
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Major new commission from the Los Angeles Chamber OrchestraRead more
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10 Reasons To Work Out with Cher
We all know Cher has attitude. In fact, we love her for it. But when she uses it for something useful—like helping you burn calories—we love it even more.
Sadly, her classic 1992 exercise video CherFitness: A New Attitude is not yet available on DVD in the United States or Canada (if you're able to navigate your way around German, however, you can order it here). But that doesn't make it any less fabulous.
Here are 10 reasons why you should take a new attitude for yourself and work out with Cher:
10. After nearly 20 years, CF:ANA remains one of the top-selling celebrity workout tapes of all time.
9. This video is fun. It's kind of like taking an exercise class with Cher, your wisecracking friend.
8. No matter how much she works out, Cher remains fabulous looking.
7. After all these years, Cher still has a rockin' bod—clearly she knows what she's doing.
6. The video has has 40 minutes of hardcore step work, which makes your butt look great.
5. The abdominal workout is intense and afterwards you'll be so glad you did it.
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Hunter Ryan Herdlicka:
"Performing in A Little Night Music was one of the biggest blessings in my life, for countless reasons, but one of the best results was my friendship with the legendary actress, Elaine Stritch. When she performed At Liberty in Pittsburgh four years ago, I was a senior at Carnegie Mellon; I saw the show and stayed after to get her autograph. The line was roughly a hundred people, and I was at the very end. All I can say is that it was like being a kid waiting in line to meet Santa, and the Santa Claus was absolutely terrifying. When it got to be my turn to meet her, I took one look at her silver hair and large glasses, and chickened out. I never got that autograph, but when she joined A Little Night Music, I got so much more.
She is one of the most fascinating individuals I have ever met: full of life, courage, humor, pain, knowledge, intuition, and love. With all of the incredible press around her final show at the Carlyle and her exodus from New York, I joke with her that she is more famous now than she ever has been in her entire life. Every actor should announce they are moving to Birmingham, Michigan - it will be the best thing that ever happened to their career!
Walking down the street with her this week is like being in the presence of an international superstar - cameras constantly flashing and crowds forming on every corner to watch her slowly make her way to the bus stop. Yes, she still rides the bus. I am sad to see her leave NYC on the 25th, but I know it's not the end. We saw a poster of Elaine Stritch: At Liberty yesterday, and she pointed to it and said, 'I'll do that again.' It took me a few hours to realize she was talking about the outfit in the poster, not the show."
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very gd
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Tous les commentaires (18)
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very nice
would be nice too lick all three of them :)
Juiane Daiana Jennifer
3 perfect asses :) the blonde girl is the hottest of the 3, i love her ass/pussy
wht film is this from plz?
Great gaping assholes. I love widely open asses because one can look inside and smell and lick them very deep. Ass juices are the better the deeper


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November 30, 2015
According to a climate summary put out by the National Weather Service, 2013 was fairly close to normal temperature wise. December 2013 started off on a warm note, but ended a few degrees below average.
While the year had extreme hot periods -- mainly in the middle to late summer months -- the average high for the year only came up half a degree ABOVE the 30 year climate normal in Bryan / College Station.
The final months of 2013 had stretches of below average cold temperatures -- in fact more "cooler than normal" days vs. those considered average or seasonable.
That said, the average low for the year came in 0.4° BELOW the 30 year climate normal for Bryan / College Station.
Other notable temperature deviations for the month of December:
-- Bryan / College Station: 3.7° BELOW the 30 year climate normal
--Crockett: 3.0° BELOW the 30 year climate normal
--Huntsville: 2.8° BELOW the 30 year climate normal
The spring and summer of 2013 brought Severe to Extreme Drought conditions to the Brazos Valley, and much of Texas. Lack of rainfall combined with weeks of triple digit heat once again impacted area vegetation and bodies of water.
While the area has rebounded out of drought -- thanks to Fall rainfall -- for the year, Bryan / College Station ended up 0.71" shy of the 30 year climate normal.
Per a Weather Watcher in Centerville (Leon County), the year-to-date rainfall total at his property came in at 43.20" -- leaving a surplus of 0.20" of rainfall compared to the 30 year climate normal.
December 2013 brought cold weather, but very little in the way of substantial rainfall. For the month:
--Bryan / College Station: 2.47" BELOW the monthly normal
--Crockett: 3.23" BELOW the monthly normal
--Huntsville: 2.94" BELOW the monthly normal
More information on the month of December and 2013 as a whole, along with the rest of Southeast Texas, can be found on the Houston / Galveston National Weather Service page.
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By Laura Shrake
In an effort to promote Fire Safety Month, UK President Eli Capilouto set fire to a mock dorm room outside the Main Building on Wednesday.
"We talk all the time about how important it is that you don't ignore your fire alarm when it goes off," said Assistant Fire Marshal Jason Ellis. "So what we do with this demonstration is to show just how quickly a fire can move in a dorm room."
Ellis said the mock dorm room, uses all the same furniture and accessories from a dorm room on campus, including fire-retardant furniture and decorative posters on the walls.
Once lit, the room is engulfed in flames in minutes. Ellis said the size of a fire doubles every 30 seconds.
"It will take about three minutes for the room to completely catch fire, but in about a minute and a half, the smoke will kill you," Ellis said. "Many college students think they are invincible, but the message we are trying to get out is that you do not have any extra time when the alarm goes off. The smoke alone will kill you before the flames do."
Since 2000, there have been 155 fire-related fatalities across the country on college campuses, Ellis said. On average, the Lexington Fire Department is on campus twice daily to respond to fire alarms.Last year UK had 38 active fires on campus.
"The most common denominators for the causes of a fire are candles, extension cords and alcohol," Ellis said. "Statistically speaking, if we have a fire, it's going to be in a fraternity or sorority, and there is a 90 percent chance that there will be a fatality."
What the fire marshals have noticed is messagessuch as "stop, drop and roll" have not matured through the ages, and thus many college-age students are not properly educated about fire safety.
Fire Marshal Greg Williamson said in the past 16 years students have begun to better understand the urgency of a real emergency as well as a drill.
"When I came here 16 years ago, it was typical to have 15 or 20 people stay in the building," Williamson said. "We don't have that anymore. People understand the urgency, and they get out as fast as they can."
Much of this awareness is attributed to the training and education of students in emergency situations.
"We offer fire extinguisher trainings for the hall directors and resident assistants who are then required to relay the fire safety information to the residents," said Ellis, a 21-year service veteran. "The Number 1 thing we tell people is that the easiest fire to fight is one you can prevent.
"We tell (students) they can't have these things in the dorm because every one of them has started a fire on a college campus somewhere."
Lt. Keith Smith of the Lexington Fire Department emphasized the importance of fire-safety awareness on campus.
"(This demonstration) shows very well how quickly a room will burn," said Smith, a member of the fire department for 21 years. "You can't get a better demonstration than just doing it; our firefighters want to use this as a training exercise, which goes to show how well it is set up."
The demonstration also included a smoke tent which emphasized the disorienting nature of a room filled with smoke. National Campus Fire Safety Month will continue through September. No other demonstrations are scheduled at this time.


text: POPSUGAR Celebrity Heidi Montag Heidi Montag Playboy by Molly Goodson 8/13/09 8 Shares Like us on Facebook Sign up for our daily newsletter > Follow us on Pinterest Previous Photo 1 of 6 View on One Page ADVERTISEMENT ( more slides) Next Share This Link Copy 1 Heidi Montag Playboy Previous Photo 1 of 6 View on One Page ADVERTISEMENT ( more slides) Next Read More Heidi Montag Heidi Montag Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's Star Wars Costumes Are Ridiculously Cute Laguna Beach and The Hills: Where Are They Now? Heidi Montag Tearfully Calls Out Lauren Conrad For "Ruining Her Life" Is Heidi Montag Trying to Get Pregnant? POPSUGAR, the #1 independent media and technology company for women. Where more than 75 million women go for original, inspirational content that feeds their passions and interests. Be in the Know With OurCelebrity and Entertainment Newsletter Personalize Movies A-Listers Young Hollywood TV Sign up with facebook or By signing up, I agree to the Terms and to receive emails from POPSUGAR. sarasonne 6 years Nothing classy about this girl. Tatiavila 6 years Heidi looks good..Why every women are jealous?? Tatiavila 6 years Heidi looks good..Why every women are jealous?? Audrey1974 6 years This is a woman who has never had an orgasm in her life. I 100% agree with Jazzy & smth!! smthngk 6 years jazzytummy you make me laugh:) smthngk 6 years jazzytummy you make me laugh:) jazzytummy 6 years C'mon gals, be nice... maybe her jaw is locked open permanently from having to blow so many people to get the Playboy shoot. SillyGirl 6 years Thats also a lot of airbrushing. She is on her way to being LAs next Angylyne (sp?). As soon as she gets her new bigger boobs, she will be such trash and it will only lead to more outrageous awesomeness. Bbarushka 6 years why is her mouth still open????btw on that picture with sand she looks little bit like a man (I mean the face,not the body:D) vinnie 6 years How are these any different than her normal posed paparazzi pictures? Briandiesel 6 years I think she looks pretty and not slutty here. But I don't know how these are in Playboy and not Maxim... melissabritt 6 years Her teeth are too big to pull off the open mouth pose. TeejayR 6 years i was going to mention the mouth thing too. how did the editors not notice that? Florida-Snow 6 years Blech, excuse me whilst I vomit in a corner. IheartChanel 6 years I was just going to write a comment about how her mouth is always open in pics, even "candid" ones. It looks like the ladies above me already noticed! ;)


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Daily NewsView All News
Canadian Employment Rises by 82,000
The number of jobs in Canada rose by more than 82,000 in March to approximately 17.4 million, Statistics Canada reported today. Canada added 70,000 full-time jobs and 12,400 part-time jobs over the month.
The jobless rate fell to 7.2 percent in March from 7.4 percent in February amid an increase in the number of people searching for work.
Ontario gained 46,100 jobs in March for total employment of 6.8 million. The province gained 47,900 full-time jobs but lost 1,800 part-time jobs. Ontario's unemployment rate in March was at its lowest level in three years, 7.4 percent, down from 7.6 percent in February.
Saskatchewan posted the lowest jobless rates among all provinces at 4.8 percent. Manitoba and Alberta were tied for the second-lowest rate at 5.3 percent.


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York-native musicians Chad Taylor, Patrick Dahlheimer and Chad Gracey purchased the 47,000-square-foot Bi-Comp building on East York Street - formerly occupied by a printing company- for $164,000.
The structure, they said, would undergo a $10 million renovation and would eventually become the headquarters for their Lancaster-based company Think Loud. They said it would also house a music studio and "tech company" that could create 70 to 100 jobs in York.
Glancing inside the building that day, I saw an empty shell littered with debris.
Bill Hynes, a real estate developer and Think Loud CEO, thought the same thing when he first walked through the building after Taylor and Dahlheimer spotted it. When they saw an open area on the top floor with a slightly vaulted ceiling, they pictured a "new spot."
"I didn't know we were in the market for a studio," Hynes said. "They said this was it."
I got to check out progress at the building during a tour earlier this month with Hynes and Gracey.
Much of the debris was gone. Plumbing and HVAC was installed. Shells of walls, kitchens and restrooms were taking shape. A prototype for a new window design was in place near the entrance. During the tour, it was clear that Hynes and the guys in the band are in touch with York County-based Kinsley Construction Inc. and LSC Design Inc. about every step - from permits to color schemes.
Hynes said things are going well.
sionals to York. Here's a floor-by-floor breakdown of the plans:
Ground level: Hynes said building plans they submitted - to bring it up to code - were approved without delay. The first floor, he said, will house offices for Think Loud and Idea Tree, a York company that runs a beta social networking site. The focal point of the floor will be a large staircase that ascends to the other floors. The building will also have two elevators, one multi-
purpose lift and one to haul heavy equipment up to the studio. Outside, there will be a walled-in parking lot. The building, Hynes said, will have key code access and a sophisticated surveillance system that can allow Live members to receive updates on their smartphones. Since the building is on the National Register of Historic Places, its exterior must remain white. But Hynes said that lighting features will add interest to the building.
Second floor: Sales and administrative offices for the "tech company" Think Loud has yet to announce will occupy this floor. It will be one of two locations for company operations. More than 100 people will likely be hired over a five-year period, Hynes said. Between Think Loud and the tech company, about 10 people have been hired so far. This floor and many other parts of the building will pay homage to the structure's industrial roots. Old elevator doors will be on display, hardwood floors will be restored and some of the original brickwork will be exposed. Since the project repurposes many elements, Hynes said he hopes it receives an LEED certification for sustainability. In addition to older elements, plans call for the latest technology, including WiFi and an audio feed from the studio to other rooms in the building.
Third floor: This floor will house individual suites that Taylor, Dahlheimer and Hynes will likely use after long days in the studio or office. Each room has its own closet and bathroom. The floor will also feature a lounge and TV area with flat-screens. Live memorabilia will be displayed on the walls. The metal and wood framing for a bar was already visible during the tour. The rear portion of the space will be a full gym flanked by a sauna, massage area and steam room. A security manager and cleaning staff will keep things running smoothly - almost like a hotel, Hynes said. Since Gracey lives in California with his wife and son, this floor includes a large suite they will call home while visiting York.
Fourth floor: There are five more mini suites, which will likely be used by studio staff or guests of the band. The outlines of a large kitchen, which will be able to accommodate about 20 people, were visible in the middle of the floor. There will be access to a roof deck and cooking area above. The other half of the floor will house the studio, Hynes said. It will include two isolation booths and a control room. A rehearsal space, lounge and bar round out that part of the building. Gracey said that it won't be a commercial studio. Live and friends of the band will likely be the only ones who access it.
"The music that they're going to make in this space is going to be amazing," Hynes added.
PopEye is a bi-weekly column focusing on the ever-changing landscape of popular culture. To reach writer Erin McCracken, call 717-771-2051 or send an email to email@example.com.
Designer shares plans for Live's new downtown York studio
Horacio Malvicino has been building studios for three decades.
As the managing director of Malvicino Design Group - a firm specializing in architectural, acoustical and technical systems designs - he works on projects all over the globe. Clients included Kings of Leon, Celine Dion and the late Whitney Houston. Other projects have included the International Broadcast Center for the Summer Olympics in London and HBO Latino.
During a recent interview from the company's U.S. headquarters in New York City, Malvicino talked about what brought him to York.
Months ago, one of his colleagues passed along Think Loud's plans to transform a historic White Rose City structure into business offices and a recording studio.
Malvicino said he was intrigued. He's been familiar with Live, the multiplatinum rock band with York roots, since the 1990s. Back then, bands favored big, elaborate studios. Now, the industry favors smaller, intimate recording spaces.
As part of the development company Think Loud, three Live members - Chad Taylor, Chad Gracey and Patrick Dahlheimer - have carefully crafted plans for a large studio in York. Malvicino has visited the site, formerly occupied by Bi-Comp printing company, a few times.
"The idea is quite unique because the guys have a very clear idea of what they want," Malvicino said. "They're so down-to-earth and business oriented."
Not all rock stars are easy to work with, Malvicino added. It helps that Think Loud works with skilled architects and contractors.
The idea for the fourth floor involves more than a studio; it's a complete support area for the band that features lounges and suites.
On any studio build, isolation is critical. That usually requires building a box within a box to soundproof the space. But since the top floor has vaulted ceilings, wood details and large windows overlooking York, Malvicino said the plan is to isolate the floor and ceiling and keep some of the original details. The recording area will likely be able to accommodate up to 25 people.
And the rehearsal space next door is even larger. Both the studio and rehearsal space will be connected to the central control room. The band will be able to record from both places. And, with microphones connecting the control room to other areas of the building, musicians will even be able to record from the comfort of their suites or from echo chambers being built from old vaults found in the basement.
"It's a very flexible space," Malvicino said. "It's fully integrated (for) their own record company."
In-studio monitoring and video equipment will create a multimedia center that can be used to tape sessions or webcast them. "You never know how iconic that recording can be," said Malvicino, who recalled working with Michael Jackson in the early '80s.
As for interior design, Malvicino said the band will likely incorporate fabrics, candles and lighting elements. Taylor and Dahlheimer will be able to utilize their respective collections of guitars and basses.
Malvicino hopes to install the consul, built by Peter Gabriel's UK company, in March. After those mixing and recording systems are in place, the band will be able to work on its album as construction continues. Malvicino said he's shooting to install the rest of the equipment in late June or early July. In the meantime, Malvicino Design Group has about seven other projects in the works, including one in Brazil.
Malvicino, who was born in Italy and moved to the states to attend college, calls himself a city guy. But he added that he's looking forward to spending time in a small city in the middle of rural Pennsylvania this spring.
"I can guarantee this is going to be very successful," he said. "This is going to be one of the most iconic studios from the past 20 years."
- ERIN McCRACKEN,
FlipSide staff
For all your Live news, visit FlipSide's Live page, www.flipsidepa.com/live.


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Fiat Chrysler unveiled its new company logo on Tuesday, May 6, 2014. / Eric Seals / Detroit Free Press
Chrysler Group LLC Chairman and CEO Sergio Marchionne speaks at a news conference to celebrate the production of the 2015 Chrysler 200 at the Sterling Heights Assembly Plant in March. / AP
A comparison of global automakers and their light car and truck brands:
■ Fiat Chrysler 11: Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep, Ram, SRT, Mopar, Fiat, Lancia, Alfa Romeo, Maserati, Ferrari.
■ BMW 2: BMW, Mini
■ Ford 2: Ford, Lincoln
■ General Motors 4: Buick, Chevrolet, Cadillac, GMC
■ Honda 2: Honda, Acura
■ Hyundai/Kia 2: Hyundai, Kia
■ Nissan/Renault Alliance 4: Nissan, Infiniti, Renault, Dacia
■ Mercedes-Benz 2: Mercedes, Sprinter,
■ Toyota 3: Toyota, Lexus, Scion
■ Volkswagen 8: Volkswagen, Audi, Bentley, Bugatti, , Lamborghini, Porsche, Seat and Skoda .
Most automakers have shed brands, but Fiat and Chrysler are showering American consumers with nearly as many choices as Procter & Gamble, even as Jeep and Ram trucks remain the engines of its North American profits.
As the automakers leaders outline their next five-year plan today in Auburn Hills, they may spark as many questions as they answer. Will consumers, who are already migrating to pickups, midsize and small crossover utility vehicles, embrace cars from Alfa Romeo, a brand that evacuated the U.S. before the dotcom bubble inflated ?
How many new models will the flagship Chrysler brand get by the end of the decade? Can Dodge grow by appealing primarily to boy racers ?
And thats without mentioning the plans for Maserati and Ferrari.
I would like to really know how they are going to manage a stable of six or seven key brands with none of them as a full-line brand, or carrying a full offering, said Stephanie Brinley, automotive analyst for IHS Automotive. It makes for a very chaotic and noncohesive range for consumers.
CEO Sergio Marchionnes team has earned credibility. Five years after bankruptcy, they have paid off loans, gained U.S. market share and generated profits robust enough to subsidize Fiats struggling operations in Europe.
But Chrysler is thriving on a lopsided, but profitable mix of pickups, SUVs and vans. Known by industry insiders as light trucks, those combined segments accounted for 78% of Chryslers sales in April. The promise that Fiats small car expertise would cure the glaring weakness in Chryslers lineup is largely unrealized.
The new Chrysler 200 sedan could change that. The completely re-engineered midsize car is expected to beat the combined sales of the model it replaces and the discontinued Dodge Avenger.
Meanwhile, the Chrysler brand has just three models the 200, the 300 and the Town & Country minivan and analysts question whether the company still needs its Dodge brand, which celebrates its centennial this year.
Today, Marchionne will finally say whether Dodge or Chrysler gets the next generation minivan, and provide more details about the crossover-type model the other brand will offer.
There will be an update of Alfa Romeos U.S. return, and more ambitious goals for Jeep in China.
They have done exactly the opposite of what Ford and General Motors have done, said Michelle Krebs, an independent auto analyst. Is that the right direction to go? You have to define them carefully; you have to feed them with product. You have to support them with marketing dollars.
In its turnaround, Ford, for example, sold Volvo, Aston Martin, Jaguar, Land Rover, a stake in Mazda and ended Mercury to get down to CEO Alan Mulallys One Ford, global strategy.
General Motors once proudly known for offering a car for every purse and purpose has shrunk from eight to four brands, but still offers a comprehensive portfolio of vehicles.
More focus needed
Among global automakers, only Volkswagen has as more brands than Fiat Chrysler, ranging from ultra-luxury Porsche, Bugatti, Lamborghini and Bentley, to Audi, Volkswagen, Spanish-based SEAT and Skoda in eastern Europe.
There are a number of consumer goods makers that have multiple brands under one roof, said Reid Bigland, who doubles as CEO of Ram trucks and Chryslers head of U.S. sales.
Bigland argues that some competitors that start with subcompact cars and extend all the way to heavy duty pickups can become bloated and hard to define.
We believe at Fiat Chrysler that a single brand cannot be all things to all people, Bigland said. Its pretty clear that Ferrari is Ferrari and Ferrari is not going to get into the minivan business.
Fiat and Chrysler prefer to offer brands with a clear personality and identity.
Dodge, for example, is a performance brand that stands on its muscle car roots. Jeep is an SUV brand with off-road capability. Ram offers pickups and commercial vehicles. Maserati and Alfa Romeo offer Italian sports car and luxury performance.
When you look at Fiat Chrysler, you need to look at its sum, and all of our brands contribute to our sales success and our profitability, Bigland said.
Fiat Chryslers strategy has advantages and disadvantages, said Andrew Martschenko, senior director of strategy for Interbrand, an advertising and marketing consultant.
It most certainly gives you more flexibility if you have more brands, Martschenko said. The challenge is can you support those brands with enough products?
Budget constraints
Mike Manley, CEO of Jeep and head of Fiat Chryslers international operations, said the product development budget can support each brand.
Jeep has been lucky enough to be given the resources to really get the things that it needs to continue its growth story for many years, Manley said.
But budget constraints have delayed Alfa Romeos re-introduction to the U.S. as well as the new minivan.
And even though Chrysler has delivered on most objectives of the 2009 five-year plan, it remains an also-ran in passenger car segments. The Dodge Dart, introduced in 2012 with an Alfa Romeo platform, was the companys first new compact car in years.
Larger, heavier and pricier than the old Dodge Neon, its weight leaves it feeling underpowered. Dart sales didnt meet expectations in 2013 and declined 28% through the first four months of this year.
In search of nameplates
Now, Chrysler is introducing an all-new 200 midsize sedan with high hopes. but with just three nameplates the Chrysler brand sells fewer vehicles in the U.S. than Hyundai, Kia, Subaru and Volkswagen.
If you combine the 200 and Avenger volume today, you would say OK, we have a little over 6% share of the midsize car segment, Chrysler brand CEO Al Gardner said. Our goal is to do that and then some. If not, why build it?
Meanwhile, Dodge might lose its Caravan minivan, already lost the halo effect of the Viper super car when it was reallocated to the new SRT performance brand last year, and is losing the Avenger now.
Even with fewer models, Tim Kuniskis, Dodge CEO, said the brand has a stronger identity now than just a few years ago, largely based on the muscle car image of the Charger and Challenger.
Asked what additional cars he would like to have in the Dodge lineup, Kuniskis responded, May 6 an indication that there will be surprises coming today.
Contact Brent Snavely: 313-222-6512 or firstname.lastname@example.com. Follow him on Twitter @BrentSnavely


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"On fragile hearts and weaker souls. No. He only dwells in desires of duplicity; and that tires me so; drilling sharp strategic holes in my heart; kicking the dim-light out of me until crying comes about"
- John Frost
(We start with Ryan in his room, masturbating on his bed. Then cut to him washing his hands. He sees razor blades on his bathroom counter. He takes one and looks at it. Cut to Patrick White and Fiona Cadbury delivering the news)
PATRICK WHITE: Former Chief of staff to Mayor Brian Sarandon Ethan Donahue was arrested on Thursday for bribery, extortion and misuse of public funds. Donahue is just another piece in the ever-growing puzzle that is the alleged corruption within the Hansbay City Government under Mayor Sarandon.
FIONA CADBURY: It's an "ever-growing puzzle"?
PATRICK WHITE: Um, yes, Fiona, it is.
FIONA CADBURY: Puzzles don't grow, Patrick, you just have to put them together.
PATRICK WHITE: Yeah, they don't grow like a plant, but the more you put the pieces together-
FIONA CADBURY: They don't grow at all.
PATRICK WHITE: Whatever, I didn't write this shit. Can we do it again?
DIRECTOR: We're live.
PATRICK WHITE: Oh yeah. Fuck.
(Cut to Ethan, Kimberly, Jacob, Ryan, Madeline, Rob and Logan sitting in the living room watching the report on TV)
ETHAN: What a load of macaroni.
KIMBERLY: Macaroni?
ETHAN: Malarkey, whatever it is.
LOGAN: It's not either; you've admitted that you're guilty in front of all of us.
KIMBERLY: Um, why are you still here, Logan? I thought the reason we were keeping you here was so Zimmerman wouldn't hand over the evidence to the prosecution, but he has, so…
ETHAN: He didn't hand over all of it. So Logan lives another day.
RYAN: If we're conditioning Logan's life on this, I'll do the honor.
ETHAN: That's not what I meant. Listen, the Mayor and I are defending ourselves using the best lawyers possible. Nobody beats these guys. Nobody I tells ya. At Harvard Law School, they were hazed into fraternities by being required to blindfold themselves and hold two scales while reciting the Miranda rights.
JACOB: That doesn't sound that bad, actually.
ETHAN: Plus, they had to hold an olive in their ass for an hour.
JACOB: Of course.
KIMBERLY: Well, I hope they let you off. You know, I still wonder how Zimmerman got ahold of that evidence.
ETHAN: When the trial comes, that's a question we'll be asking adamantly.
PATRICK WHITE: Key Republicans like Senator Lindsay Graham of South Carolina, Senator Saxby Chambliss of Georgia and Congressman Peter King of New York have said they are willing to violate the Grover Norquist "no tax hikes" pledge if it's for the good of the country in the fiscal cliff deal.
ETHAN: Wow, the only news I want to hear about less than my legal problems.
KIMBERLY: I have a feeling that those three members of Congress will be distinguished gentleman from the bottom of the Potomac River pretty soon if I'm not overestimating Grover Norquist's power.
ETHAN: Well, listen everybody, just in case this case doesn't go in my favor, I want you to know that I could be going away for a long time. In the unlikely event I go to jail, I appoint Jacob as the man of the house.
ROB: Why not me?
ETHAN: You know why not you so don't even bother.
ROB: Fine.
ETHAN: And if I do go to jail, Kimberly will have to take care of you and the income from her business isn't going to cut it. Kimmy, if I go to jail, you'd have to put your business on hold and find a job.
KIMBERLY: I understand.
ETHAN: Good. Also, Jacob, I told you already to get a job just in case I go to the clink. Even if I don't it's probably best that you get a job.
JACOB: I understand, I got a job at Toys R Us, I start tomorrow.
ETHAN: Good on you. Ryan, go to work more often so you don't get fired.
RYAN: I still can't believe Michelle is letting me keep my job, I haven't showed up since Election Day. Speaking of Michelle, her new boyfriend Delaware works at Toys R Us, Jacob.
JACOB: Yes!
RYAN: But he still doesn't like you.
JACOB: I will win him over with the power of po-
RYAN: Jacob!
JACOB: Pussy…
RYAN: Wow, you should've stuck with "pot" if "pussy" was your save.
ETHAN: Is it too late to appoint a new man of the house?
ROB: No it is not!
ETHAN: On second thought, I'm content.
(Cut to Ryan in a corner of his dark room, using the razors to cut his wrists)
RYAN: Dad thinks he can just leave us here…HE THINKS HE CAN GET SYMPATHY FROM ME BECAUSE HE CHOSE TO BE A CORRUPT ASSHOLE? RGGH! THAT FUCKING KILLS! Oh, it's so good. He just willfully ignores that his son is harming himself…I don't want Jacob to be my dad…I want Sarah to be my bride…or Michelle…I don't know, they're so similar…what is that dripping feeling on my leg? Oh, that's blood.
(Cut to Ryan, Cooper, Scott, Mr. Proskovec and the rest in group therapy together)
MR. PROSKOVEC: Okay, happy Sunday, everybody, I hope you've had good breaks. Now let's talk about how shitty our breaks were. We'll start with Cooper Dickson.
COOPER: Um, ever since April 20th, my mom's been looking up whether each day has a drug-related meaning, and she found one website saying that there were five drugs called 1119, 1120, 1121, 1122 and 1123. So she grounded me for fear that I would go out and do those drugs on those days even though they don't exist. It turns out that website was set up by my dad.
RYAN: Damn, you got grounded for five days to prevent you from doing imaginary drugs?
COOPER: That's correct.
MR. PROSKOVEC: Wow, that's rough. Scott, how shitty was your break?
SCOTT: Well, my friend's dick dad got arrested at my Thanksgiving dinner.
RYAN: Dude, I'm right here!
SCOTT: But we did start a band!
RYAN: Yes we did!
SCOTT: So it actually was not that bad.
MR. PROSKOVEC: Well I'm glad. Ryan?
RYAN: Well, my kind of sucked actually. Firstly, my brother and I followed this guy we thought may have been planning to shoot up the school, it turns out he's just kind of an awkward kid with some eccentric interests. Um, they killed off the main character in my favorite anime just because the Japanese voice actor died of radiation poisoning, my prescription for Prozac probably needs to be strengthened and they should allow me to take it with alcohol! But most and foremost-
MR. PROSKOVEC: That's redundant, but go ahead.
RYAN: MOST AND FOREMOST, my dad was arrested, as you all probably heard.
MR. PROSKOVEC: I did hear. Sorry to hear that, Ryan.
RYAN: But I thought you already heard.
MR. PROSKOVEC: Ryan, how does your father's arrest and impending trial make you feel?
RYAN: Well, I feel like…I don't know, it's like, he brought this onto himself and now he's expecting us to operate without him should he go to jail.
COOPER: Well, he may not have a choice.
RYAN: I know, it's just…he's getting all this sympathy from us and all this support when we should be pissed at him. Meanwhile, I'm dealing with drug addiction, self-harm and chronic depression and they just say "sorry about that" and act like that solves everything.
MR. PROSKOVEC: Well Ryan, are you envious of the attention your father is receiving?
RYAN: Yes! I'm especially envious of all the support he's receiving. We all tearfully apologized to each other during Thanksgiving-
SCOTT: Which made me feel real comfortable, thanks for that.
RYAN: You're welcome, but anyway, it's like, talk is cheap, right? They throw me in here, they say let a professional deal with it but they forget the reason why they need a professional is because they can't communicate with me effectively.
COOPER: Is it them or is it you?
RYAN: …Probably both.
MR. PROSKOVEC: When's the last time you took drugs, Ryan?
RYAN: Um…I've been a couple weeks at this point. But I've been drinking…and jerking a lot more than I usually would. Meanwhile, Sarah and I have barely seen each other in the last three weeks. It's like, she doesn't have the same effect on me that Michelle did. I remember on Halloween, she encouraged me to ditch my Prozac and just have fun naturally on a trampoline with her and our friends, but…I secretly took the Prozac anyway. I sometimes feel like I wanted Sarah because I no longer wanted Michelle and once Michelle broke up with me, I wanted Sarah because I wanted Michelle. Now that I have Sarah, I almost feel like I just want Michelle again.
SOME STUDENT: BORING! Goddamn, am I right? (Silence) Okay, so no one appears to be with me on this.
COOPER: Yeah, no one is.
SOME STUDENT: Okay, I'll try it again. BORING!
RYAN: Why would that help?!
(Cut to Ryan, Scott and Cooper walking to the parking lot of the therapy facility)
COOPER: I just don't feel comfortable with it.
RYAN: Why not?
COOPER: You guys are going to make fun of me!
SCOTT: No, we're not, dude, out with it! Why are you in drug therapy?
COOPER: …It was marijuana. (Ryan and Scott laugh) I knew you guys were going to make fun of me!
RYAN: (Laughing) No, dude, that's hard shit. How much dank did you shoot up?
SCOTT: (Laughing) Snort some fuckin' doobies, dude?
COOPER: (Smiling) Fuck you guys.
RYAN: Dude, we're messing with you, I have a brother who's addicted to pot.
SCOTT: Yeah, drugs can be destructive whatever they are, we understand.
COOPER: Okay. I guess I should probably speak up in our sessions more often then.
RYAN: Yeah.
COOPER: Okay, well I'll see you guys.
RYAN: See ya.
SCOTT: Bye.
(They all walk to their cars. Cut to Jacob standing in front of a wall covered in rifles, guns, grenades and pictures of military officials such as Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, Commander in Chief Barack Obama, acting CIA Director Michael Morell and Afghanistan War Commander General John Allen)
JACOB: This is quite an impressive collection.
(General DePinto walks over with two glasses, one with soda and one with alcohol)
GENERAL DEPINTO: Well, weapons have kind of been my secret passion.
JACOB: You're a General, how is that your "secret" passion?
GENERAL DEPINTO: I don't know, it's like admitting you play Dungeons and Dragons. "Oh, I cast a bullet curse on this ancient bearded terrorist wizard! Plus twenty hit points!"
JACOB: Yeah, that's really badass!
GENERAL DEPINTO: Just don't tell anybody.
JACOB: Oh, you got me soda, thank you.
GENERAL DEPINTO: No, this is for me. I got you Scotch.
JACOB: Um, I have to drive to work soon. Plus, I'm only eighteen.
GENERAL DEPINTO: Fine, I'll have both. (Jacob and DePinto sit down) So you got a job, eh?
JACOB: I did.
GENERAL DEPINTO: Which infantry have you enlisted in?
JACOB: I invested in the red-shirt cackied pants Toys R Us infantry.
GENERAL DEPINTO: And I thought the National Guard was full of pussies.
JACOB: (Laughs) Well, it's a job. And since my dad got arrested, he's been saying I need to get a job. I may have to be the breadwinner for the family.
GENERAL DEPINTO: Well, you could also win bread in the United States Military.
JACOB: Noah, I know. But I can't leave my mom with a husband in prison, a son in Afghanistan, a drug-addicted emo son and an asshole half-brother, it would just be too much.
GENERAL DEPINTO: Fair enough. But if your dad doesn't go to jail, I think your calling is in the army.
JACOB: (Singing) I don't know what I've been told!
GENERAL DEPINTO: How can you not know if you've been told it?
JACOB: (Singing) But Eskimo pussy is mighty cold!
GENERAL DEPINTO: Well, it depends on the temperature of the environment they're in-
JACOB: (Not singing) Were you actually in the military?
GENERAL DEPINTO: Yeah, but they left me out of the misogynistic chants during Vietnam and Desert Storm. Except for this one, (singing) I don't know who gave me a handy, bur Iraqi pussy is mighty sandy!
JACOB: You got a handy from and Iraqi chick?
GENERAL DEPINTO: Anastasia.
JACOB: Was that her name?
GENERAL DEPINTO: No, that's my favorite movie from the 90s.
JACOB: Ah.
(Cut to Jacob in a Toys R Us uniform working the technology desk, looking bored. An overweight chick is working the other side of the desk and goes over to Jacob)
OVERWEIGHT CHICK: Ugh, what a busy day.
JACOB: I know.
OVERWEIGHT CHICK: My name's Caroline.
JACOB: I'm Jacob.
CAROLINE: Cool. Busy day, huh?
JACOB: Yes. You mentioned that.
CAROLINE: The boss here is such a dud.
JACOB: He's a dud?
CAROLINE: Yeah, like a total dud.
JACOB: What does that mean?
CAROLINE: It doesn't matter, just agree with me.
JACOB: Fine.
CAROLINE: Do you smoke?
JACOB: Are you sure we should be talking about this here?
CAROLINE: Ooh, James Bond, I see.
JACOB: No, just not wanting to be fired, you see.
CAROLINE: I'm Pussy Galore.
JACOB: Wow.
CAROLINE: So you do smoke?
JACOB: Yes.
CAROLINE: Because I smoke as well.
JACOB: Really?
CAROLINE: Yes. I smoke four bowls a day, minimum.
JACOB: That's a lot. I smoke five, though.
CAROLINE: Wow.
JACOB: Yeah, it's pretty chill.
CAROLINE: That is so chill.
JACOB: Okay, don't say that word anymore.
CAROLINE: Do you watch the show Game of Thrones?
JACOB: I don't.
CAROLINE: Well, let me describe to you the first couple of episodes.
JACOB: Oh God.
(Cut to Jacob and Delaware stocking shelves together)
DELAWARE: So are you working here now?
JACOB: No, I just figured I'd throw on a red shirt and volunteer.
DELAWARE: I don't take well to sarcasm.
JACOB: Sorry.
DELAWARE: Dude, I'm fucking with you man. Hey listen, sorry that we got off on the wrong foot when we met.
JACOB: Oh, don't worry about it.
DELAWARE: I just thought you were kind of annoying and trying too hard to be my friend, you know?
JACOB: I said don't worry about it.
DELAWARE: Okay.
JACOB: Speaking of trying too hard to be someone's friend, this fat chick named Caroline keeps talking to me, it's SO annoying.
DELAWARE: So you're criticizing her for doing what you did to me?
JACOB: Yes.
DELAWARE: Well I don't blame you, Caroline is fat and gross. And fat and gross people should talk to other fat and gross people, not the normal.
JACOB: Yeah, well, I don't want to be mean, but-
DELAWARE: Be mean. That's the only way she'll learn to back off. And backing off will probably get her fat ass some exercise.
JACOB: She says she wants to smoke weed with me.
DELAWARE: Dude, she smokes weed? That's fucked up. Fat chicks should not be stoners, only cute beanie-capped Bob Marley-shirt wearing chicks should be stoners, even if they think Marley was a rapper. Just not fat chicks. Who would've thought that people who sit on their ass all day eating and smoking pot would get fat?
JACOB: Well, the point is, I can't stand her.
(The manager drives over in a Barbie car and starts honking the horn while Jacob and Delaware stand there)
MANAGER: Move it, employees! (Honk) We got some of the black Friday latecomers and they angry! (Honk) Let's go!
(The manager starts circling Jacob and Delaware in his Barbie mobile while honking repeatedly. Cut to Ryan sitting in his ASL class with Cooper, Scott, Barbara and some other hipster chick behind him, talking)
COOPER: So then Valerie came over to have sex with me-
VALERIE: (Laughing) Cooper, stop it!
COOPER: She said "I want Cooper's Dickson me." (Scott Laughs) She made a play on words with my name while we were fucking.
VALERIE: (Laughing) Stop it!
SCOTT: (Laughing) That's great.
VALERIE: (Half-jokingly) You're an asshole!
COOPER: You're the wordsmith here; you can come up with something better than "asshole".
VALERIE: I'll leave that to Delaware, he's the song writer.
COOPER: Fucking Delaware. Did you hear he's dating Michelle?
(Ryan's eyes perk up)
SCOTT: Who doesn't know that? They've been dating for over a month.
BARBARA: Where does Delaware work again?
COOPER: I think he works at Toys R Us.
(Ryan turns around)
RYAN: Really? My brother Jacob works at Toys R Us.
COOPER: Hey Ryan, A to B conversation here, so D your way out.
RYAN: That's not how that goes first of all, secondly, dude, I was just saying.
COOPER: This conversation is private, thank you.
RYAN: Not really, you were talking about how Valerie fucked you pretty loudly while the teacher is a few feet from you.
COOPER: This is an ASL class, she's deaf!
RYAN: No, she's not!
COOPER: Oh my God, just turn around, Ryan.
RYAN: Fine, Jesus.
(Ryan turns around, looking dejected. Cut to Ethan in his home office on his computer)
ETHAN: Good for Marco Rubio, nobody really knows how old the Earth is. I don't understand how atoms works, so who's to say they're not plotting against me? (There is a ringy ding at the door) I'LL GET IT! (He gets up) Wait, nobody's here.
(Ethan walks to the front door and opens it to see Matthew Chambliss with a microphone and a camera man behind him)
MATTHEW: Mr. Donahue, how do you feel about your legal troubles?
ETHAN: How do you feel with a black hooker's tits in your face?
MATTHEW: Walked right into that one.
ETHAN: So did she.
(A newspaper reporter comes out of a bush)
REPORTER: Mr. Donahue, I'm Luke Stockton from the Hansbay Quintessential, how is your family holding up in the face of your legal problems?
ETHAN: Were you hiding my bush?
LUKE: No, I'm a newspaper reporter, I live there.
ETHAN: Wow. Listen, I have no comment about the scurrilous and untrue allegations against me, I am a good family man who is being victimized in a witch hunt.
MATTHEW: Let's see if you float!
ETHAN: That is a good movie.
(CNN's Tom Foreman walks over to the house with a microphone and a camera behind him)
TOM FOREMAN: Mr. Donahue, this story is receiving state-wide attention due to its complexities, when you sleep at night do you see the hairs on your head shrivel and gray into another unrecognizable clump of your former self, delicately dropping onto your pillow as you start the next day a new man no better than the last?
ETHAN: Did you just recite a poem to me?
TOM FOREMAN: It's pretty good, right?
ETHAN: I mean, yes, but-wait, why does CNN care about this?
TOM FOREMAN: The election's over, we're thirsty for scandal. And ever since the Israeli-Gaza war ended, we've got to find something juicy.
ETHAN: Well, unlike the Israeli-Gaza situation, MY situation will resolve itself, and not with a nuclear bomb either. Although I wouldn't put it past the prosecution. (The reporters chuckle) My trial is tentatively scheduled for mid-January 2013, so you can leave me alone until then. I have no further comment.
(Ethan goes inside as reporters shoot questions at him. Ethan closes the door, draws all the blinds and takes out his iPhone. He then presses six to speed dial Mayor Sarandon. Cut to Mayor Sarandon typing on his computer in the Mayor's office)
MAYOR SARANDON: Dear Vogue Magazine, more like vague magazine. HA! I'm a genius.
MARIA: (Intercom) Mr. Mayor, Mr. Donahue is calling your cell phone.
MAYOR SARANDON: What? (His cell phone rings and he picks it up) Hello?
ETHAN: (On the phone) I need you to come over.
MAYOR SARANDON: But I saw on the news that a bunch of reporters are showing up, if I show up, that's going to be fish food for the media.
ETHAN: Put on a disguise or something, just come over.
MAYOR SARANDON: I have a lot of disguises, should I be a clown?
ETHAN: YES! I'll say I'm hosting a birthday party for my son.
MAYOR SARANDON: You have an eighteen year old and a seventeen year old.
ETHAN: The media doesn't know if my sons are mentally retarded or not, right?
MAYOR SARANDON: Oh my God, I'll be over soon.
(Mayor Sarandon hangs up. Cut to Ryan waiting in the therapy room with some other people, but Scott and Cooper have not showed up yet. Some student is talking to Ryan)
SOME STUDENT: So I decided that ten reps a day would be better for my…body type…and I think…
(He falls asleep)
RYAN: Were you bored by your own story?
(He wakes up)
SOME STUDENT: What?
(Cooper and Scott walk in)
COOPER: Hello, therapy people!
(They both sit down)
RYAN: What the hell, man?
COOPER: What?
RYAN: Today in ASL! You totally bitched me out!
COOPER: What? Really?
RYAN: How do you not remember? You told me to "D" my way out of your conversation.
COOPER: I meant to say "F" your way out.
RYAN: Then it would still be wrong.
COOPER: Listen dude, I was just keeping up appearances. Nobody knows I'm in drug therapy and nobody knows that I fraternize with the likes of emo kids such as yourself.
RYAN: Everybody in here knows you're in drug therapy.
COOPER: Yeah, but when I have a pact not to tell anybody, remember?
RYAN: No, I actually don't. I remember your suicide pact.
COOPER: Yeah, and when everybody pussied out, I replaced it with a "no tellsies" pact.
RYAN: Still, you don't have to be a dick to me outside of therapy.
COOPER: You gotta understand Ryan, I'm a prep, you're an emo, you're Irish, I'm Scottish.
RYAN: This isn't the mafia, plus you fraternize with hipsters all the time!
COOPER: Yeah, but they're like one or two electrons away from preps. It's the difference of sparies and TOMS, basically.
RYAN: Just, don't embarrass me like that, at least!
COOPER: Fine.
RYAN: Also Scott, why didn't you stand up for me? We have a band!
SCOTT: I can't stand up for myself against my dad, what do you expect?
RYAN: Don't milk me for sympathy, asshole!
SCOTT: Sorry.
RYAN: Ugh, whatever. I'm used to it anyway.
(Cut to Jacob assisting an old woman in the video game section)
OLD WOMAN: Most people don't realize this, but there were no video games during the depression!
JACOB: Who doesn't realize that? (Pan to Jacob's manager, behind him, who clears his throat) I mean, can I help you with anything else?
OLD WOMAN: No thank you.
JACOB: Okay. Have a great day.
(The old woman walks away)
MANAGER: Watch what you say, Jacob. We have to respect our customers here. On black Friday, I let a woman gouge another woman's eyes out over a TV because I RESPECT the right of that woman to harm others for material goods.
JACOB: Sorry, Mr. Silver.
(Mr. Silver gets in his Barbie mobile and rides away. Delaware walks over to him)
DELAWARE: Scolded by the boss, OUCH! Let me see those sears.
JACOB: Silver's so weird.
(Caroline walks over)
CAROLINE: I know, he's such a dud!
DELAWARE: The fuck outta here, Caroline!
CAROLINE: Excuse me?
JACOB: He's joking.
DELAWARE: No I'm not; Jacob doesn't want to talk to you!
JACOB: Delaware, what are you doing? Caroline, don't listen to him.
DELAWARE: Jacob, you told me that she was annoying you, right?
CAROLINE: You said that?
JACOB: No, I didn't say that! Delaware's just being an asshole.
CAROLINE: Well that appears to be his specialty, doesn't it?
DELAWARE: Well at least my specialty isn't eating my weight in whale heart!
JACOB: Oh my God!
CAROLINE: Fuck you, asshole!
(Caroline walks away)
JACOB: What the fuck are you doing?!
DELAWARE: She insulted me first! She called me an asshole. So I was forced to retaliate.
JACOB: You ARE an asshole, you insulted her to her face!
DELAWARE: Oh, so you like her now, then? You like fat chicks?
JACOB: No, it's not that, it's just…I still hate her, it's just…she did insult you first though.
DELAWARE: That's what I wanted to hear. Look at us now. Two months ago we held animus, but now we stick together. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to tell little kids to ask their parents to buy M-rated titles.
(Delaware pats Jacob on the back and walks away. Jacob clearly feels guilty. Cut to Mayor Sarandon, who's wearing a track suit with sunglasses, a baseball cap and slightly disheveled hair. He walks past clueless reporters at Ethan's house and walks inside his house. Cut to Ethan greeting Sarandon at the door)
ETHAN: You look like a middle-aged coke addict.
(Mayor Sarandon takes off his sunglasses)
MAYOR SARANDON: I look like a master of disguise.
ETHAN: Let's talk in the kitchen. (Cut to the two at the kitchen table) I've had to deal with the press hounds all damn day. Asking questions and writing down things on their little pads or iPads. Yet they're still outside my house!
MAYOR SARANDON: You want me to have Sheriff Warren sic the dogs on them? It worked during the civil rights movement.
ETHAN: No, I just want you to teach me the art of pandering! I need to keep a positive public image throughout this thing, I mean, I'm in survival mode, so like Bear Grylls, I need to drink the piss of pandering to the public.
MAYOR SARANDON: I like the alliteration. But listen, pandering is an art form, not everybody can get it right away, you know? First off, mention the local sports team.
(Cut to Ethan holding a press conference outside the Hansbay courthouse)
ETHAN: So, like the Red Sox, this case is going to be a slam dunk for me!
(Cut back)
MAYOR SARANDON: Make a pop culture reference or two, but don't be like Romney and mention "George Costanza" or "Big Bird". Just keep it simple.
(Cut back to Ethan speaking to the press)
ETHAN: I'm going to defeat these allegations like Edward defeated…Glee.
(Cut back)
MAYOR SARANDON: Be sure to latently compliment your audience, not only the reporters in front of you, but the people you know are watching who you want to impress.
(Cut back)
ETHAN: First off, I'd like to thank the reporters who keep this nation such a vibrant Democracy. They, along with our nation's jurors, judges, jailers and executioners, are some of the handsomest, most intelligent people on God's green Earth.
(Cut back)
MAYOR SARANDON: Always compliment someone's question but then insult them by not answering it.
(Cut to Ethan talking to reporters)
MATTHEW CHAMBLISS: If you're innocent, how do you explain the expensive trip to the Cayman Islands?
ETHAN: That's a great question, Matthew. Let me answer it with a question. How do you explain what to not do when not doing trips to the Caymans?
(Cut back)
MAYOR SARANDON: Do you understand?
ETHAN: Seems easy enough.
MAYOR SARANDON: It's not as easy as it sounds.
ETHAN: I'll go try it.
MAYOR SARANDON: Go get 'em, tiger.
(Ethan gets up. Cut to Ryan, Scott and Cooper walking out of the therapy building at night)
COOPER: People always assume I play tennis.
RYAN: Do you?
COOPER: Of course, but it's pretty presumptuous.
SCOTT: You're holding it right now.
(Cooper holds up a tennis racket)
COOPER: Well I'm going to the courts later! (Cooper sees Barbara, Valerie and Preston walking over) Oh shit.
(Cooper jumps in a nearby bush)
RYAN: What the fuck?
COOPER: Just keep walking!
SCOTT: Okay.
RYAN: Dude, are you serious?
(Barbara and Valerie walk up to Ryan and Scott)
VALERIE: Hey Scott.
BARBARA: Hey Scott, hey Ryan.
RYAN: Hello, Barbara and Valerie.
VALERIE Why did Cooper jump in a bush when we came over here?
SCOTT: Cooper? You mean like a barrel maker? I haven't seen any around here lately.
(Cooper jumps out of the bush)
COOPER: Man, I'm so drunk that I fell into a bush in front of this crazy place I've never been to before!
RYAN: How is you being passed out in a bush drunk better than you being in drug therapy?
VALERIE: You're in drug therapy?
COOPER: Ryan! Come on!
VALERIE: No Cooper, it's fine, I'm just…surprised. I thought you subscribed to the whole "smoke weed 'erry-day'" mentality.
COOPER: I was, but my parents caught me smoking weed "erry-day" and forced me into this.
VALERIE: Well…I suppose there's nothing wrong with self-improvement. Is this why you were being such a dick to Ryan today?
COOPER: Partially? It's just…I didn't want to make you think I had psychological problems, I wanted to continue to be untouchable.
VALERIE: You were trying to protect your superman persona…for me?
RYAN: He tried to deceive you.
COOPER: Sometimes even superman needs to go to drug therapy.
RYAN: No, he never did that.
SCOTT: Ugh, Ryan, you're just too brainwashed by the mainstream version of superman.
VALERIE: Well…maybe it's time you jumped into another bush.
(Valerie jumps on Cooper and they start making out in the bush)
BARBARA: Wow, she came up with another play on words.
RYAN: Yeah, but what they're doing can't be comfortable.
SCOTT: We should go.
RYAN: Yeah.
(The three of them walk away. Cut to Jacob sitting in the kitchen with a cup of milk. Ryan walks in while he's masturbating)
JACOB: Oh my God! What are you doing?!
RYAN: What? Mom, dad and Rob aren't home and we're both guys here, right?
JACOB: Why can't you do it in your room?!
RYAN: I have things to do, I'm multi-tasking!
JACOB: Ryan, put your dick away!
RYAN: Fine, Jesus, you're so uptight. (Ryan puts his dick away and zips up his pants) What is this, puritan society?
JACOB: Please tell me you're rolling at least!
RYAN: No, I'm pretty sober. In fact, jerking it is kind of replacing X for me.
JACOB: Oh my God.
RYAN: So how was your day?
JACOB: Um…
(Cut to Jacob in the toy aisle with Caroline)
JACOB: Listen, I'm really sorry about Delaware, he's kind of a dick sometimes.
CAROLINE: Yeah, no kidding.
JACOB: Is there anything I can do to-
(Delaware walks over)
DELAWARE: Sorry to interrupt, but Silver needs extra hands in the 3D TV section. We need to throw a lot of them away.
JACOB: Well, I was just telling Caroline that she owes you an apology for calling you an asshole.
DELAWARE: Atta boy. Meet me in the TV area.
(Delaware walks way)
CAROLINE: You're a pussy.
JACOB: You're not the first girl to tell me that.
(Caroline walks away. Cut back to Jacob and Ryan in the kitchen)
JACOB: Nothing major. Delaware and I are becoming the friends we deserved to be in the first place.
RYAN: Cool.
(Cut to Ethan and Mayor Sarandon walking through the front door)
MAYOR SARANDON: You are terrible at pandering.
ETHAN: I'm sorry I'm not as duplicitous as you, you know?
MAYOR SARANDON: The Red Sox are not a football team!
ETHAN: I'm sorry I'm not a Hockey genius, you know?
MAYOR SARANDON: Stop fake apologizing!
(Ethan and Mayor Sarandon walk into the kitchen to see Ryan and Jacob)
ETHAN: Hello, boys.
JACOB: Hello, dad.
RYAN: Dad, I'm going to Sarah's house.
ETHAN: No, Ryan, I need you to help me clean out the attic.
RYAN: Talk to me when you're not a suspected criminal.
(Ryan walks away)
(The door slamming is heard)
MAYOR SARANDON: Damn.
(Ethan rubs his eyes)
ETHAN: He probably wouldn't be helpful anyway. (He stops rubbing his eyes) Jacob, can you help?
JACOB: Yes sir.
(Jacob gets up and walks over to them)
MAYOR SARANDON: Maybe we can find some Red Sox Legend Peyton Manning memorabilia up there.
ETHAN: Shut it.
(They all walk away. Cut to Sarah opening the door to see Ryan standing there)
SARAH: Ryan!
(Sarah hugs Ryan)
RYAN: Hey. You smell like silly puddy and…anti-freeze.
(They stop hugging)
SARAH: It's a bootleg anime-themed perfume from Okinawa.
RYAN: Oh, the Japanese and their bootlegging.
(Ryan comes in and Sarah closes the door)
SARAH: So what's up?
RYAN: Um, well we haven't really seen each other much outside of school since Halloween, so…I'm seeing you.
SARAH: Yeah, that's fine. Let's go upstairs.
RYAN: Okay.
(Sarah and Ryan go upstairs. Cut to them in Sarah's room)
SARAH: Sorry about your dad.
RYAN: Yeah, well I'm pissed at him for doing this to us. Everyone else in my family is just falling all over themselves to support him.
SARAH: Well, Ryan, maybe forgiveness is key to keeping the family together.
RYAN: Forgiveness? He knew this might land him in jail and leave us without a father, but he chose to do it anyway.
SARAH: He probably didn't think that far ahead.
RYAN: Then how can he lecture me on being short-sighted?! It just pisses me off.
SARAH: I understand.
RYAN: Listen, I'm planning a sleepover for this Friday. It's going to be Michael, Brennan and hopefully you. Are you free?
SARAH: Well…yes.
RYAN: Why did you hesitate?
SARAH: I was just making sure in my own head.
RYAN: Does your head have a secretary?
SARAH: Yeah, and I don't bang her like your dad's former boss.
(Ryan smiles and the two of them hug, but their faces both look uncertain while they're doing it. Fade to black)
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Riverside and J.L. Mann swept their respective region swim meets Saturday, successes that came on the heels of Eastside's sweep in the Peach Blossom AAA Region meet two days earlier.
Riverside's boys and girls were victorious in the Region 2-AAAA meet at Middle Tyger YMCA in Duncan. The boys, state runners-up each of the past two years, finished with 230 points. Spartanburg was second with 148. The Riverside girls won with 297; Mauldin was second with 143.
In the girls meet, Riverside won all three relays. Jessi Snover, Jessica Horomanski, Maegan Rudolph and Bay Prewette won the 200-yard ...


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Popeater reports that following his performance at Sunday night's Golden Globe awards, Ricky Gervais will not be asked to host HFPA's event again — A goal he set after he was asked to return after his first stint as host. Gervais explains a year ago about his debut,
"I don't think I went far enough… Obviously not, because they invited me back. So, I'm going to do it again, do a proper job. And I guarantee they will not invite me back."
This year, however, he perfected his routine, went after Angelina Jolie, Charlie Sheen, Hugh Hefner, Mel Gibson, God, Tom Cruise and a few others in what was arguably one of the most entertaining awards shows in years and accomplished his mission.
An anonymous member of HFPA tells Popeater, "Ricky will not be invited back to host the show next year, for sure… For sure any movie he makes he can forget about getting nominated. He humiliated the organization last night and went too far with several celebrities whose representatives have already called to complain."
So in typical fashion, a group of people hire a raunchy comic to host their event, can't take his humor, get their feelings hurt and "punish" said comic by not asking him to return… I don't think Stephen Colbert is going to be hosting any more of George W. Bush's dinners any time soon, either.
To be fair, you can't expect a comedian to take an award show seriously, especially one that nominates The Tourist for Best Picture — Comedy or Musical.
Congratulations Ricky, and well done.


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All 191 member states of the United Nations have pledged to meet the Millennium Development Goals -- an ambitious program to end extreme hunger and poverty, heal the world's most pressing health crises, conserve and improve the natural environment, promote the equality and economic welfare of women, and give the globe's children the education they need and deserve -- all by 2015.
Panos Pictures, the Guardian and several NGOs have created an online photo exhibition to bring the Millennium Development Goals to life. Photographers in developing nations documented the hard work, sparse possessions, and depleted environments of many of the world's poorest people.
These photographs are respectful and revealing. Often, the people photographed simply gaze into the camera. The image makers often allow their "subjects" to assert his or her basic humanity and active efforts to live well. As a group, the photos underscore how achieving the Millennium Goals would elevate the lives of millions of individuals.
How does the old truism "a picture is worth a thousand words" hold up? In the media-saturated minds of many of the globe's better-off, do photos still convey the reality of poverty better than raw facts about infant mortality or economic deprivation? It sure seems like it -- especially in the past 10 days, when poor and displaced Americans have been shown in the world's press in numbers probably never seen before -- or at least not since the 1930s, when the Dust Bowl created this continent's last mass migration of environmental refugees.
The images from America's Gulf Coast have enraged millions, galvanizing national and global recognition of U.S. poverty and some hard talk about changing it -- at least so far. (Compare this uproar to the near-absence of info in many channels about the fates of thousands still hurting from December's Boxing Day tsunami -- which happened a short 9 months ago.)
Can Americans embrace the Millennium Development Goals as readily at home as some (such as the controversial Jeffrey Sachs, who writes an introduction to the Panos/Guardian exhibit) have on behalf of developing nations? As Alex wrote here at the beginning of the week, economic security, physical security and environment are inextricably linked in this century. The geography of poverty transcends national boundaries -- and so does the possibility that we can do better.
(Image by Dieter Telemans for Eight Ways to Change the World)
(thanks, Hans!)
The new Human Development Index for 2005 has just been published today. Things don't look good. The MDGs face a bleak future, and it may take 100 years instead of 15 to achieve them.
Yes, we may be missing our window to end tragic poverty, but these photos are amazing. I'm all for cultural activism. If the global South had a face for more in the global North, we might be closer to meeting the MDGs...
Yes, the photos are very beautiful. I hope Worldchanging continues to present this kind of initiatives, like the photoblog about Ethiopia, which was amazing too.
Thanks a lot.
100 years instead of 15? huh?
It looks to me like we will meet or exceed most of the goals. Am I missing something?
Hi Joe, "100 years" was a bit of a hyperbole, but still, most of the MDG's wont be met.
There's a nice overview at the Beeb, today. Since 1993, 54 countries have seen their per capita GDP decline. Horrible, but true.
Life "worse for world's poorest":
Global inequality on the rise:
The number one goal is halving extreme poverty. That one is already impossible to achieve.
About the lack of commitment to environmental protection (crushing goal 7 and goal 1)
WRI prez: "But if we don't make the key linkages between poverty, the environment and good governance, it will be impossible to achieve the poverty target.
"Seventy-five percent of the world's poor are rural poor, who depend directly on natural systems for their livelihood."
I'm pessimistic.
You stated:
"The number one goal is halving extreme poverty. That one is already impossible to achieve."
I agree with your first sentence... this is and should be the number one goal. Other goals are also important and measurable... reducing child mortality, comabting malaria, etc.. However, some of the Millenium goals are less measurable and therefore will be harder to attain.
As for poverty.. I still am very confused by your position. The links you passed on are rewrites of the UN press release, which in my opinion was extremly distorting.
Here is a link that actually has factual information about the progress towards meeting these goals.
This link describes the progress in Asia...
to see more details go to:
As you can see in the spreadsheet, poverty in Asia has dropped from 34.3% in 1990 to 19.3% in 2003. The Millenium goal is to halve the poverty rate. Asia was almost there in 2003! With the large economic growth in China and India in 2004 and 2005, I am guessing that they have already met their goal.... 10 years ahead of schedule.
If you look at the projections of poverty in 2015 they range from 2.9 to 9.3%. So in the worst case scenario poverty will have been cut from 34.3% in Asia to 9.3%... far exceding the goals.
The obvious comeback to my statements above is... what about Africa? I agree. Africa is an area that has not improved much since 1990 and some countries have gone backwards. Much work needs to be done there.
However, the Millenium goal is to halve poverty worldwide and we will easily meet this goal. In fact I am guessing that it will be met around 2008/2009.
So my question is? If the goal are WORLDWIDE goals why is the UN focusing only on the countries that are falling backwards instead of focusing on the goal itself.
With rapidly growing populations, a % decrease in the poor doesn't necessarily decrease the number of poor. Worldwide, despite a happy improvement in the ratio, the absolute number of people below the poverty line has stayed constant for a decade.
Just as important is the poverty gap. Many people who etch out a bare subsistance level are falling further below the poverty line, particularly if development efforts are taking off in modern or cashcrop sectors, then inequality is growing & the poorest people often experience declining real incomes. This could explain the focus on countries that are going backwards - it requires a much bigger effort to close the gap and it's much more difficult to do.
Also the poverty line is a level of absolute human misery that jeapardises their health, so there are many people above this line who still live in abject poverty & vulnerable conditions that could drop them below the line.
ANd btw, the US is way behind in substantial payment obligations to the UN. It's hard enough for the UN to act given political pressures on it, harder when the govts that bring the pressure to bear don't pay their dues!


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Figuring out foal color can be so confusing, but it is so fun to try to make guesses during the 11 month wait :)
We Bred our chesnut AQHA mare to our Sorrel/White tobiano APHA stallion.
The stallion has a tobiano Dam and an Overo sire. He has produced one very colorful foal when bred with a sabino apha mare. The stallion is not homozygous.
Our mare has produced one foal that was a mirror image of herself when bred to an AQHA stallion, and one very colorful Paint when bred to a non-homozygous stallion. The mare has white socks and a blaze, as well as a tiny bit of roaning on her barrel area.
From my previous research it seemed that a paint vs. qh breeding will create about a 50/50 chance of either, but are there any other factors that change these odds? If the foal is solid, will it likely be chesnut? If the foal is a paint, is there a chance of it being overo rather than tobiano or will it likely take on similar color characteristics to our stallion?
I am curious to hear from you color gurus :)