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Locus of Control
Chapter 46
Yoruichi's encounter with Retsu was friendly enough. She'd stumbled into the office where the body of imposter Aizen lay cut open meticulously like sliced bread. It was uncanny, really, even though she knew it was not him.
Retsu, as always, caught on quickly. She hadn't barred the door to keep her from coming in, and didn't even move to hide the corpse thing or whatever it was. Calm as ever, even with a woman still considered a traitor to be apprehended on sight in her office, Retsu simply asked a few pointed questions and offered to heal her injuries before shooing her on with a knowing gaze.
It was altogether too easy to slip by the various groups of patrolling officers, not that she was complaining. She wasn't sure she'd be able to show them mercy, if they attempted to capture her, not in her current frame of mind. Not with the scene of Sui-Feng just walking away from her replaying like a broken record in her head.
She thought maybe there'd be something left, something there, but apart from the all too brief kiss she had stolen prematurely - she thought there was some kind of remnant of what they had - except she was anything but sure. The only thing she was certain of was that that hadn't been a good move. As if she could pretend otherwise after Sui-Feng had slapped her... but she couldn't help it, Sui-Feng was always so strong, always so full of conviction and pride and seeing her so broken and knowing it was because of her - Yoruichi knew she'd been consumed by folly in the moment but she didn't know what to do and didn't think and all she wanted was for her to stop crying...
Not entirely certain where to go, but figuring there was probably only one other place she wouldn't be attacked on sight, she veered into the direction of a vast estate she used to call home. Even from a distance, the unforgiving wrought iron gates were distinct, jutting high into the blue sky with impunity and pride.
Minutes later, breathing lightly, she slipped through the gate. It groaned loudly, protesting, and the guards standing on either side straightened, alerted, their weapons shifting in their hands as they pointed their spears at her. They looked young. Probably new. They wouldn't recognize her. She raised her hands, prepared to introduce herself, when suddenly the front door slammed open and an elderly woman came flying through the double doors with the whirling energy of someone much younger.
Yoruichi tensed up, rigid like a board, when the lady - she hadn't even gotten a good look at her face - flung herself upon Yoruichi and wrapped her in a bone crushing hug. Yoruichi slackened when she realized she wasn't being attacked, and inhaling deep, she felt her eyes burn a little as she closed them and wrapped her arms around her mother and hugged her back. "I've missed you, Ma," she said with a tearful little laugh.
"I knew you'd come back someday, Yoruichi," Shizuka exclaimed, pushing her away to hold her at arm's length, her gaze running up and down as she appraised Yoruichi, disheveled and kind of bloody and still bearing all the intricate black crests all over her skin. "I see you've encountered the Commander already," she said, there was a strange emphasis on the title as she pursed her lips.
Yoruichi nodded, flushing red. There was no mistaking the meaning behind her tone. She should have expected her mother would find out, if she hadn't known all along.
"Looks like it didn't go well." Her mother tugged at the jacket, deft hands pushing up her sleeves and tugging at the turtleneck she looked for more marks, as if Yoruichi were an injured small child in dire need of a checkup. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." Yoruichi brushed her mother's prying hands away and shook her head. Despite the mortifying invasion of privacy, it was nice to be welcome, for a change. To have someone who was happy to see her back, as opposed to hostility and anger and hate. She hastily tried to change the subject, not wanting to be subject to her mother's continuing scrutinizing gaze. "Where's daddy -?"
"Your father passed away a few years ago, Yoruichi."
Yoruichi felt something stir in her heart, but none of the heaviness of proper sorrow as a proper daughter should. She had never been close to her father. He had always been a stalwart figure of their family, closed and distant and never smiling. When she was little, her mother often told her stories of how he used to let her climb all over his back and in between his stances when he performed his forms. How he used to often pick her up so she could ride on his shoulders as he practiced his shunpo. She supposed they were true. Even if Yoruichi could never remember anything but his disappointment.
"How did you know I was here?"
"What mother wouldn't know?" Shizuka pretended to look affronted. She was much less reserved than Yoruichi remembered her mother being. Shizuka flapped her hands dismissively, as if the next thing that came out of her mouth wasn't a very interesting bit of information. "The Commander sent word a little over an hour ago, after your altercation."
Yoruichi wondered, not for the first time, what had transpired in her absence and just how close Sui-Feng and her mother had become… because her mother seemed to speak fondly of Sui-Feng and clearly Sui-Feng kept her mother in the loop not just out of common courtesy. But any further thoughts were pushed aside as her mother beckoned, and she followed her through the doors and set foot into her home for the first time in a hundred years.
She stopped, only halfway past the threshold, feeling a strange anxiety grip her entire frame. She isn't really sure why it is, only that she just remembered she never really liked walking alone through the labyrinthine halls, her silent entourage of guards following her like shadows on the wall. She remembered always hearing the filtered voices of her parents laughing in other rooms, the low murmur of hushed politics punctuated by the clinking drinks and clatter of chopsticks as the nobility dined and feasted on betrayal and plots, while she studied - or tried to - history and management and tactics and war.
She snapped herself out of it, when she glanced over at her mother, who was looking at her strangely. She swallowed and braced herself and moved through the door like nothing was different and her mother disappeared around the corner.
Yoruichi didn't recognize any of the servants as she walked by the ones lined up against the wall, frozen in their tasks so as to not disturb her path, as they always have done. Well, she could never remember their faces, they were always bowed when she laid eyes on them.
She walked by open door after open door, and all the areas looked untouched and unchanged and just the same as they had when she used to walk by them in her younger years. They finally came upon a room that was only ever reserved for special guests. Yoruichi supposed that is what she has become now. She watches guardedly as her mother perches herself upon a chair, like a bird ready to take flight. She's not quite sure where to sit, so she stays near the door, hovering. She's always felt better on her feet.
It isn't until her mother stops moving that she's able to really study her face. She can see the toll of time etched into the lines around her eyes and mouth, the stress she has always contained in her posture, the weight on her shoulders. She sees her mother smiling, and she isn't sure what to say, she's not sure there are words for what she wants to say.
She worried needlessly, as usual. Her mother never pulled her punches with her. "Why did you leave, Yoruichi?"
Yoruichi stood, rooted awkwardly to the spot. She stared down at her hands, the words and excuses running through her head in circles. She isn't sure she knows which one to run after.
"You must know by now, Mother."
"I want to hear it from you."
Yoruichi found a knot in the wood panel of the wall to stare at instead of looking her mother in the eye.
"He probably would have managed, but Kisuke is my best friend... I recommended him for the position, you know," Yoruichi said quietly, shrugging halfheartedly, feeling like kid terrified to meet her mother's gaze. "The entire Gotei Thirteen was in a mess, and I had dropped the ball with the Omnitsukido. We should have known what was out there. We should have been watching. I felt… I don't know. I felt responsible. It was my fault no one knew what was going on. My fault Kisuke was in the middle of it. He wasn't guilty for what they accused him of. Anyone who knew him knows he couldn't have done such a thing. Of course no one was going to listen. And I was the perfect person to get him out of that sham of a trial in Central 46."
"But you didn't have to, Yoruichi." There was a strange note to her tone, not quite the judgement Yoruichi expected. Nor the rebuke, late as it was, as little good it would do even if given. "You abandoned everything. All your fortune, your reputation, your family -" Shizuka paused, only for a moment, "- the woman you loved and who loved you back - for a friend who could have survived without it anyway… and for what? To what end? What did you expect would happen, what did you expect to get out of it?"
Yoruichi shrugged again, not sure how else to move, her feet felt heavy, leaden as the pleading crept unbidden into her voice. She just wanted someone to understand. Who else could, if not her mother? It wasn't like she could deny who she was now after everything, after all that's happened. "I've wondered all my life what it would be like if I wasn't born who I was. You know I wasn't happy here. You knew that all along, but I couldn't get far enough away."
She chose tactfully not to mention the fiasco of her engagement, among other things. Yoruichi was certain her mother remembered the details just as vividly, there was no point rehashing it. "I couldn't escape so long as I remained in Seireitei... I just wanted out."
"But it's not what you imagined," Shizuka supplied softly.
Yoruichi shook her head, gaze dropping to the floor, feeling her shoulders rise a bit higher, defensively.
There was a long silence.
"What made you decide to come back, Yoruichi?"
Inhaling deeply, she raised her head. This was something she could answer with certainty and finality. "It was time. I have to make things right."
"You have a lot of work ahead of you."
"I know." Yoruichi wrung her hands and began to pace. "How much do you know about - how much does she know - I - I want to - know - what's happened since I was gone?"
Shizuka patted the empty seat beside her.
"It is a long story, Yoruichi. You will want to sit."
The next time she saw Sui-Feng was when Aizen decided to take even the revelation of the long dead truth into his own hands. Robbing them even of satisfaction of finally exposing him for the traitor he was.
They'd both had the same idea when they went for Aizen, both underestimated him. But in that moment where they tried, there was this shared sliver of triumph when they'd almost managed to capture him, a gleeful spike of vengeance when the culmination of wishing and praying that justice would prevail seemed like it would be done. And in those precious few minutes where they'd worked together as seamlessly, as synchronized as they had in the past - not needing words or looks - Yoruichi felt whole again. .
And then when he'd escaped, they were powerless to stop him. Yoruichi didn't even care because Sui-Feng tossed a brief look of gratitude her way for shouting a warning. It gave her hope.
There was a strange feeling in the air when all of it was over. Like all the nostalgia and memories and hope of the future was rolling into one strange, otherworldly state that she could only pass through and exert no control over. It was just another kind of limbo. The end of an era, on the cusp of a new one, and she had no idea if she was going to be able stand where she wanted to, or if there was even a place for her.
Not really thinking, but drawn to her like a moth to a flame even at a distance, she followed Sui-Feng to where Byakuya was being treated, watched as they spoke - watched Sui-Feng touch his hand and hold it tightly, just for a second. A thought crossed her mind, she wondered, but no. They looked to be just close friends. Two talented young people who had looked up to her and maybe found friendship in the shadow of an abandoned pedestal. But it made so much more sense now.
Byakuya's shunpo was just developing when she'd left and frankly, at the time he was quite terrible at it. But if he had trained with Sui-Feng that would even explain some of his moves that she'd seen firsthand when they'd engaged over Ichigo's unconscious form. Shunpo was Shunpo but there were traces of style - familiar techniques she hadn't told anyone but Sui-Feng.
When Sui-Feng glanced over her shoulder, she knew Sui-Feng saw her standing there, watching her. The moment their gazes locked, time seemed to stretch. From Sui-Feng, a challenge, and from Yoruichi, a promise. Yoruichi wanted to tell her, she knew everything now, everything she had left her to, everything she had abandoned and everything Sui-Feng had to suffer. She wanted to say sorry, for the secrets she kept, for leaving without saying goodbye, for not bringing her along when she made a promise - and sorry, that she assumed it would be the better thing to do, the unselfish thing to do, when really it was the most selfish thing of all.
But still she said nothing, and did nothing, when Sui-Feng turned to leave without looking back, daring her to follow in the space she left behind.
Yoruichi almost jumped out of her skin when a heavy hand clapped down upon her shoulder. She turned, armed with a glare, only to find Shunsui's rugged jaw fill her vision as he smiled an apologetic smile down at her.
"Shunsui," she croaked, struggling to recover her voice.
"Yoruichi Shihoin, as I live and breathe," he grinned, tipping his hat at her with his other hand. "Thought I heard you've been flitting about the place."
"You haven't changed one bit, Shunsui. How do you do it?" she mustered a smile as best she could. She always liked Shunsui. He was always far cry from the doom and gloom some of the other Captains wore like a second uniform, even now.
"Sleep. Drink. Women. Flowers. Good friends. Trying my best to live life, without regrets," he grinned, pulling back his hand. "Take your pick. Easier said than done, of course," He suddenly grew serious. She was almost taken aback by the somberness in his expression. It looked strange, upon his face, like it wasn't sure which muscles to use.
She knew what he was going to ask, could see the question building as he gathered the effort to expel it. "Lisa is doing well," she told him quietly. "It's not an easy life out there, but they are all doing well."
Shunsui was silent for the longest moment, uncharacteristically stoic. "I'm glad," he said. And she thought she almost heard a little break in his voice, but he smiled it all away.
"I see Nanao has really grown up," she said, patting his arm in as subtle a gesture she could attempt. "I remember she was a tiny little kid way back when."
He chuckled almost self-deprecatingly. "A lot of people had to do a lot of growing up. Time moves forward. We must follow as best we can."
"Truer words never spoken," Yoruichi nodded as they both gazed off at the bustle around them. There was a certain calm to be found in the storm of the aftermath, in the busy bustle of healers and workers and soldiers scrambling. They stood like statues, unmoving from their vigil, like the remnants of a different era, slightly out of place, but still existing as the world shifted around them.
"What do you see, Yoruichi?" Shunsui asked suddenly. She's not sure what to make of his tone.
"What do you mean?" she asked, turning to look at him. He's gazing off into the distance, but his gaze flickers back to her periodically, just long enough to keep her from disengaging.
"A hundred years away, it must give you new perspective?"
"I don't know," she muttered, a bit despondently. "I've come to harbour a lot more doubts than answers."
His gaze lingered, this time, eyes glimmering beneath the shadow of his ridiculous hat. He reminded her a bit of Kisuke. She's not sure she likes that about him. They both had a strange tendency to lapse into bouts of contemplation out of the blue, it was frustrating to keep up with the swing in the mood of the conversation sometimes. "Maybe you can't find the answers because there are none to find."
She let a slight frown take over her features as she stared steadily back at him, waving off a stare from a medic who appeared to recognize her face.
Shunsui turned away, sliding his hands into his sleeves as he tilted his head up at the sky, breathing deeply, before he spoke again. "I think life has curious ways of working itself out. The paths we walk may not always be the ones we see. And maybe you wander off the main road but sometimes we get to our destinations in an indirect way, you know? You just gotta keep walking and stop looking back so you can see where you might be going."
There's a lot more to what he's saying, but she doesn't need him to elaborate. She quirks a small grin, appreciating the message all the same. "Living life without regrets, huh?"
"It's the only thing holding you back. Own up to mistakes you think you've made, but don't dwell… there's always a way forward. Just gotta keep walking, my friend."
It's another few days before she tracks Sui-Feng down again. She's pieced together enough of the hundred years from old colleagues like Shunsui, Omaeda and even Retsu. And filled in even more gaps with subsequent visits with her Mother and Kukaku. She even managed to chat with Byakuya, though he was incredibly cold up until Yoruichi mentioned Hisana, something Kukaku explained to her in great detail - he seemed to open up then. Then ended on as friendly a note as she could have expected, but he left her with a warning without uncertainty on the subject of Sui-Feng.
Shunsui was right, they all did a lot of growing up.
Armed with enough of history to not walk forward blind, Yoruichi staked out the office, and picked up Sui-Feng's trail from her brief appearance at the barracks.
It was how she now found herself running after Sui-Feng through a meticulously kept garden, not even entirely certain where she was going, but not caring so long as she had her in her sights.
Like Shunsui said. Just had to keep walking.
And this time, in the right direction. Not away.
It didn't matter that she still had the hornet's crests all over her body still - Retsu couldn't remove those, even with her skill - didn't matter if it marked her for the traitor everyone thought she was. Yoruichi was determined to follow her anywhere, to talk until she listened, to stand until she realized she wasn't ever going to run again.
She called out Sui-Feng's name loud enough to wake the dead. But there was no sign that Sui-Feng had heard, but Yoruichi knew she did. She would have been deaf, not to. It was then she slowed to a stop, coming to a realization just as she skidded slightly on the flat grey stone tiles beneath her feet. This wasn't a garden.
It was a cemetery.
A hundred meters away, and unable to muster to strength of will to approach any nearer, Yoruichi watched as Sui-Feng knelt before the two rightmost graves. She stood still, just like the majestic stone lion statues that framed the gate she had dashed through without even looking, without realizing.
She watched as Sui-Feng lit some incense for each grave, bowing deeply to each in between. There were six, she knew. The six that looked weathered, by time and the elements. The six she had seen only once before, when she was still the heir - when everything was simple and uncomplicated and she knew where they stood and how to love her and had everything she wanted but didn't realize it -
Her parents.
Parents Yoruichi never thought of meeting. Never thought to get to know. Yoruichi swallowed. She had no idea what they were like. Had no idea if they were close. Had no idea what they knew, if they knew, if Sui-Feng told them things, or what they thought if they did.
She wondered what Sui-Feng was thinking, what she was saying, what confessions were guarded by those who were no longer with them.
Sui-Feng didn't move for the longest time. Yoruichi didn't either.
Yoruichi watched until the sun began to bleed into the horizon, casting a golden hue every surface it touched. Watched until her muscles grew stiff and her feet were aching.
And when finally Sui-Feng stood to leave, she turned, and glanced in her direction. Distance seemed to vanish in that look. Yoruichi felt herself move forward, step closer, hand reaching -
But then she blinked, Sui-Feng was no longer there again.
Clearly, Sui-Feng was keeping her at a distance. Almost like a game they used to play when they trained together. Like she was taunting her with the past. Challenging her to try and get close. To dare grasp at another chance, slim as it was... or maybe she was reading the signs wrong. Maybe she wanted nothing to do with her anymore. Yoruichi could respect that, if that's what it came to. Except she had to know for sure.
She was not the Goddess of Flash for nothing.
She could close the distance and find out.
Just have to keep walking.
She camped up on the roof all night, watching the stars, waiting. They sparkled innocuously in the clear night sky, same as they did a hundred years ago, in happier times.
Sui-Feng wasn't sleeping. Yoruichi could hear her tossing and turning, the restlessness seeping through the open window in her room.
Truth was she hadn't quite figured out what to do yet. She'd hoped the answer would come to her if she could just talk to her, if she got a chance to explain - even knowing it wouldn't mean much - she had to explain, even if Sui-Feng didn't want to listen - she couldn't just not talk about it, even though she knew no amount of words could ever make up for the hundred years in between. But it was a starting point.
She would wait until morning though.
When morning finally came, she heard rustling, a slammed door, a couple of thuds - she could picture Sui-Feng kicking a wardrobe in frustration, irritation exacerbated by the lack of sleep.
Perhaps it wasn't the best idea to linger around her room all night - but if Sui-Feng was anything like she was before - she was always angry in the morning. And if Yoruichi really thought about it, she wanted her to be angry like when they fought because really anything would be better than that apathy.
She heard the door slide open, and stood up, legs cramped from the vigil. She dropped to the ground, in front of her, before she could step off the porch. Blocking off any paths of escape.
"Sui-Feng, please -"
"What are you doing here?" The words were still cold and flat. Grey eyes sliced through her resolve like knives. "Shouldn't you be running back to the world of the living? Your part is done here, isn't it?"
"No. It's not."
"Well, you'd better get on it then, shouldn't you?" Sui-Feng made to push past her, Yoruichi, in a moment of weakness, almost let her. But she rallied and reached out to grab her arm.
"Can we talk about -"
"Don't touch me," Sui-Feng hissed, her look scorching enough to burn like acid, but Yoruichi did not falter.
"I just want to -"
"There's nothing for you to say that I care to hear," Sui-Feng said, in a low voice, "Now let go of me before I -"
"Kill me?" Yoruichi retorted bitterly. "Go ahead then. All your marks, they're still here. Take your pick. Release Suzumebachi." She pulled her closer, Sui-Feng resisting, muscles twitching beneath her fingertips, all energy and movement, but unable to shake her grip without more drastic measures. "Go on then. Do it. "
Sui-Feng made to move, drew back a free hand, to hit her again, but Yoruichi saw it coming. She caught the blow, the pain thudding through her forearm. With both fists captured, yanked her closer, close enough their noses were practically touching, close enough that Yoruichi could feel her breath ghost across her own lips. "You can't, can you."
"You don't know what I can or cannot do," Sui-Feng whispered, her grey eyes glinting like steel.
"You're right. I don't," Yoruichi admitted, staring straight back at her. They were close enough she could see a flush creep down Sui-Feng's neck, disappearing into the v of her uniform. Could see her pulse quicken. Could feel her heart beating, quickened by anger and maybe - just maybe - some long awakened desire. "But I used to know you. And you used to love me -"
"That was a long time ago," Sui-Feng sounded faint. Lacked ire.
"- it was. I made a mistake. I should have never left you -"
"-but you did, and I've moved on-"
Yoruichi ploughed on, ignoring the acute pain upon hearing that remark, hoping against hope it wasn't really true, that it was just Sui-Feng's vindictive streak showing its colours. "-I know it means nothing to you now, but just let me say this, please."
Sui-Feng stilled, stopped struggling, stopped fighting back just for a moment. The moment was enough.
It was a torrential outpouring of apologies without excuses. She didn't expect it would do much. Words were only words, in the end. And nothing was easier to break than promises. But she just had to try - to know she said them to her face, that she meant them in her heart, even if Sui-Feng never believed her.
"I'm sorry I fucked up. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for leaving you with all the things I hated. I'm sorry for leaving you to deal with my family and everything they tried to do to you. I'm sorry you had to pick up the pieces of the mess I made and that you had to suffer so much. I'm sorry I left without saying anything and that I kept things from you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you for the past hundred years -"
"What do you want me to do with these apologies?" Sui-Feng muttered, but there was less bite.
Yoruichi could almost swear Sui-Feng's look softened. She hoped. Maybe she was fooling herself. Just a little. "I don't know. I just need you to hear them." She paused, her eyes flickering down to pursed lips, involuntarily. She refocused her gaze back to Sui-Fengs's, staring back into a cold, cold gaze she hoped was thawing. "I still love you. I've always loved you. I never stopped loving you."
Sui-Feng's mask suddenly cracked, replaced by a haunted look with depths Yoruichi couldn't fathom. "Even if I want to forgive you, I can't forget," she whispered, staring at her wrists, which Yoruichi still held, keeping her from pulling away, from putting distance between them.
"I'm not asking you to," Yoruichi said softly. "I know what I did is… I don't know if I'll ever be able to make it up to you. I want to make it up to you. I know I hurt you more than I can ever imagine. Just please know, it was not my intention."
She released one hand, hesitantly reached up to touch Sui-Feng's face, her heart soaring when the younger woman let her. "You had such a bright future, I didn't want to take that away from you. I thought leaving you behind was the right thing to do because - just because I didn't want my life didn't mean you didn't want yours. I thought it would have been what you wanted. I wanted to protect you. I didn't know how. I don't know how. I just…"
"Are you staying?"
"Yes." Yoruichi said resolutely, then backtracked when Sui-Feng's eyes suddenly narrowed. "I don't want my job back - from what I've seen you've been doing much better at it than I ever could." She meant it. She figured it came through because the glare receded somewhat. Yoruichi exhaled. "I'm staying because I want to… I want to make things right. I want to be with you again. If you...?"
Sui-Feng finally looked away. "If you came back fifty years ago and asked me, I would have said yes in a heartbeat," she murmured softly, a miniscule shrug traversing through her frame. "But now? It's been a hundred years, Yoruichi. I'm not the same person I was - not the same person you left behind."
"I -I know that, Sui-Feng, but-"
"I spent half the century trying to prove your innocence and the other half cursing your name every night before I fell asleep. I've killed more people than I can count. I've betrayed more people than I know. I've saved people just as often as I've sacrificed them, but I don't even remember their faces, let alone their names," she smiled sadly, and there was a weariness that somehow captured more than the weight of a hundred years.
"I've dreamed of seeing you again - of speaking with you again for so long - but now that you're actually here? I can't even remember what I thought I'd feel. What I thought I'd do. Maybe I'd hoped you'd let me back into your life. That we'd just pick up where we left off. I probably would have been satisfied with just an apology and would have followed you like an obedient little servant. But I can't even remember the person I thought you were, because everything I thought I knew shattered when you left. And time broke the rest of the person I used to be," she shrugged, tugging her hand away - and Yoruichi let her go -
- only to turn back and touch Yoruichi's face, fingertips tracing the crests still etched into her skin almost lovingly. "I loved you more than you could ever know. I figured you didn't realize how much if you could just leave like you did." Sui-Feng paused, gaze flickering upwards to meet an unsteady golden one.
Yoruichi could feel her skin tingling, heated and raw where Sui-Feng had touched.
"But the thing is, you're standing in front of me now, and I see you - and you look exactly the same, you feel exactly the same -"
Her fingers trailed down to brush across Yoruichi's lips, sending shivers down Yoruichi's spine.
Sui-Feng's gaze was far.
"All I can think is you're just a memory now. A ghost... And you don't know who I am anymore."
She slips through her grasp like water, and Yoruichi almost let her go - almost let her walk away - because really, Sui-Feng deserved better - deserved more and Yoruichi wasn't even sure what to do or what would change, if anything would. If she was a better person, she'd let her forget. But Yoruichi's already lived a century without her, thinking it was the right thing to do and all she knew was she didn't want to live without Sui-Feng ever again - even if she was different, even if she had changed -
And Sui-Feng's still looking at her even as she turns away, there's a challenge in her lingering gaze - and Yoruichi glances past her shoulder, sees her reflection in the mirror in her room - sees her own unblemished skin, still tingling from the whispers her touch left behind, and it means something that she's taken the marks away - even if she has changed, she was still Sui-Feng and that was all she needed to know.
She reaches out, her fingers circling a slender wrist, and it slips through her mouth before she thinks better of it, but her body is moving with a courage she no longer has. "Then let me get to know you again," she says, but even to her ears, it sounds like a plea - as it should. She's pulling her back, and Sui-Feng's eyes are stormy, inscrutable, but there's a twist in her mouth - like she's forgotten how to smile - and maybe she has - Yoruichi's not holding on tight enough to keep her but she sees Sui-Feng moving closer and her hands reach up, curl around the collar of her jacket and yanks her close - and Yoruichi thinks, that this is it, she is going to kill me or break my neck or something - and she would deserve it for having the nerve to ask for another chance -
- and instead finds lips crashing against her own with a desperation and a yearning that is unmistakable despite the cloudiness of intent - there's enough force behind it that she lets Sui-Feng push her back, into the door, hard enough she can feel her shoulder bruising. She's not sure what this is or what this means exactly - only that maybe this is the first step to forgiveness.
They stumble past the frame - she lets Sui-Feng tear at her clothes - she is still methodical - they're flung aside like unwanted memories. She's not sure where her jacket's gone - and her shirt is torn from the neck to the sleeve. Maybe Sui-Feng just wants to use her, but Yoruichi's not going to say no. They've almost forgotten to close the door before tumbling backwards onto the bed and back in time, arms and legs and nose to nose and they still fit perfectly together like two pieces of the same puzzle even in the midst of chaos.
Yoruichi breaks away for a moment, half-undressed already, gasping, heart thundering, skin on fire - "Even if it takes a hundred years. I don't care," she whispers, not even sure Sui-Feng can hear her - she almost can't hear herself through the buzzing in her ears and the fog clouding up her mind as she closes her eyes tightly shut and sinks into the touch she's yearned for - for decades -
"I'm here. I'll be here -" Yoruichi's breath hitches, she is derailed, shudders, as Sui-Feng's teeth scrapes against her throat, deft hands trailing down her sides, splayed across her rib cage and holding her - or them? - together -
Her left hand is wrapped in Sui-Feng's hair - the other digs into the bedsheets, searching for a grip - kisses marking a wandering path down her body, "-I'm not going away again. I promise -" She almost bites her tongue when Sui-Feng's lips press feather light against her hip - then against her inner thigh -
- she tries her best to swallow a moan - she needs to say it - even if Sui-Feng doesn't believe her, or doesn't want to hear it, even if it might mean next to nothing - "I promise with all my heart, and my soul and -"
- it's all she can do to hold on and just keep breathing, but she's already lost track of time. She's not sure if it's been seconds, days, decades, she can't tell, only that it feels like forever that she's been dreaming of this moment and she can't think of anything else other than the feeling of her kisses and tongue and hands and she is practically chanting, her nails break through skin as she is broken to the pieces she's been holding together for so long -
"All I have left is your to take - I promise you, Sui-Feng - forever- even if it takes a hundred years-"
- blood is roaring in her ears, she is practically writhing, creamy silken sheets sliding beneath her - those fingers - she clenches her teeth, feels them deep inside, stroking - precise and methodical and rhythmic and power - her throat is raw - she sees white -
- and with a choked gasp and muffled cry she is crashing down from wave after wave and Sui-Feng is clutching her close, like an anchor, whispering in her ear and she can't even make out the words in the haze but it feels like she's finally come home and maybe there's still a shadow of what they used to have.
"No more promises, Yoruichi. Show me."
I want to address some things with this chapter. Skip if you wish, but I know there are many points of contention/areas which you may question in terms of characterization.
1) Yoruichi is hung up on feeling guilty, and some of you seem to feel quite vehemently about her going after Sui-Feng and wanting her back. I personally think it's more for the sake of the consequences that resulted from her actions than any actual wrongdoing on her part. Sure, she left in a really shitty way but I really think Yoruichi did the best she could with the situation and made a hard decision choosing between helping out her best friend and the woman she loved and she had to live with what that choice entailed. I don't blame her for doing what she did. It made sense to her given the context, and I think, in many ways, it was the right thing to do. It was just unfortunate that it had such repercussions. She strikes me as someone who, while headstrong and independent and confident, has issues owning up to what she perceives to be personal failures. I don't think she's a bad person and yes she has to make it up to Sui-Feng, but while she is kind of wallowing and going "oh I don't deserve her and etc". As the writer of this fanfic, I think she does. She's going to have to work to get her happy ending, but they both deserve a happy ending which I fully intend on giving them.
2) It may sound like Yoruichi is working through a lot of repetition in her thoughts and what she wants to do. This is intentional. Until she's able to say them to Sui-Feng and vocalize all she feels, she's hashing and rehashing everything she knows she has to say and own up to. She mentions it might not mean anything, and I don't think she expects words to be enough, but she needs to lay it all out on the table before they can both even try to move forward. There's no more room for assumptions. She gets a little push from Shunsui to get over her doubts and just go for it.
3) With regards to pacing - I had a lot of hesitations about posting this chapter. As both Cinis and Vocarin know (bless you both for your aid and advice I don't know if I've action-ed on it properly but do know it did not fall on deaf ears) I found it very difficult to decide how to make it move forward. What could Yoruichi do to win Sui-Feng back? How would their relationship rekindle and move forward in an organic, natural way without forcing them into tropes and breaking their characters? How would they go about it seeing as it's been SO LONG and they're essentially different people now? And Sui-Feng has spent a long time hating Yoruichi, something like that isn't going to disappear in a few days or weeks.
This was originally going to be two chapters, but I felt that if I had left it without the confrontation and just Yoruichi talking to people and trying her best to find out everything - there wasn't much pushing it forward. Sui-Feng keeps walking away and Yoruichi keeps moping and I didn't want to drag it out over two chapters. The middle of which would have really sagged. I was also waiting to tackle the big confrontation, as some of you have been waiting for it too.
4) The turning point: So Yoruichi got all her apologies out and made a lot of new promises in the heat of it all - the turning point I wanted to highlight was where Sui-Feng decides to remove the crests after Yoruichi's said her piece. This is significant. Yoruichi realises it's tantamount to her leaving the door open a crack, Yoruichi just has to dive forward and make the best of this window of opportunity. I think Sui-Feng has always been attracted to Yoruichi's easy confidence and she really just needed to hear it straight up that Yoruichi knows and understands everything that's happened. This in no way means that's enough and Yoruichi's out of the doghouse, but it's a compromise and the first step forward.
5) Sui-Feng gave in so easily! WTH! Them sleeping together is not going to fix this entire 45 chapters of hate and over a century of bitterness - that was never the intention. The intention was that, these are two people who, for decades, have harbored a plethora of incredibly strong and intense feelings that culminate in this... this sort of explosion that kind of mirrors their fight. It was bound to happen. I don't see them containing that amount of feeling after wanting each other and missing each other for long - as confused and as chaotic as it is right now - and having Sui-Feng just walk away again which she's already done a couple of times across the scenes in this chapter.
Sui-Feng is a guarded person. In her fights she always holds back, watches, plays weak, until she's figured out her opponent. I see her tackling Yoruichi in the same way. She was waiting for Yoruichi to show her intentions. While Sui-Feng has admitted to hating her for half a century, she's never stopped loving Yoruichi - that's why she's been so torn this way and that throughout the story... or at least, that was how she was supposed to come across. Obviously, the dynamic between them has changed and ultimately they still fit together and are meant for each other but a little different now.
How? I don't think they know, except when Sui-Feng tells Yoruichi, you don't know me any more, it's not so much that she doesn't believe they'll work, but she's issuing a challenge to Yoruichi and which Yoruichi accepts when she says, then let me get to know you again, both confirming that yes, she is back for good, and she's going to try and who cares if they've changed because they're still at their core, the person that the other has never managed to get over. For the moment, it's enough.
I don't see it as Sui-Feng giving in. I also don't see it as it fixing anything really, only that they're sort of both broken and aren't quite sure how to relate to each other so hey, falling back into old patterns! Because, at the end of the day, that's exactly how they started (if any of you have read Sweat which can be considered a prequel to this fic). Yoruichi initiated the relationship. Yoruichi was always in control. This time she's letting Sui-Feng call the shots, which Sui-Feng does. Sure Yoruichi pulls her back, but Sui Feng is the one in control this time.
So anyway, at the end of the they still have a lot of obstacles ahead of them to make it all work. None of the problems has disappeared. They will be dealt with piece by piece. And I'll be writing up to Chapter 50.
I don't know if any of that made sense. Or if it was all totally obvious. And apologies for random tense changes... I'm working on it.
I look forward to hearing your comments, thoughts, suggestions of upcoming scenes, as always.
Thanks to those who have taken the time to leave really thoughtful reviews. I think I would have stopped writing this a long time ago otherwise.
ALSO OMFG AMAZING FANART by lnBY GO LOOK (insert dots where appropriate)


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AutoescuelaFacil Permiso B
by: DeGeTe | 46
by: DeGeTe | 46
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AutoescuelaFacil.com Permit B application where you will find 50 test for official examination of the DGT (DGT) and 18 test different thematic issues that are in the driving school.
These questions are taken from reviews of the DGT as we are a real driving school where our students when they return to the consideration we copied the questions that have come out, we were spent to clean and here is the official test.
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text:
Oklahoma motel employee reported bombing materials in Ottawa County plot
The motel sits across the highway from the First Assembly of God.
The bombing plot was mentioned in the Sunday service, said Cheryl Countryman, church secretary.
"We didn't dwell on it," Countryman said. "We just prayed protection over the church and we had extra security in place at the church."
Also, the buildings where children and teens meet were on lockdown, she said.
Across town it was business as usual at First Baptist Church, said Chris Carlisle, youth pastor.
Nothing about the plot was mentioned during the service.
Police Chief George Haralson said the listed targets were 46 churches in Miami and two others in Fairland.
"He was going to hit two to three churches a night," Haralson said.
Haralson said a criminal-background check didn't turn up anything suspicious, but Weiler's Facebook page included a posting dated Sept. 25 that stated, in part:
"And I am telling you that I have not opened a bible (sic) in a while, and I haven't stepped foot into a church building in quite some time — and though I may be very lonely right now, I am hoping that someone, and maybe someday in the future, someone will take notice."
The post also refers to the "Imperial Catholic Church," Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr.
Weiler's aunt, Joanne Meyers, told The Chicago Tribune her nephew suffers from mental illness and both of his parents suffered from drug use and committed suicide.
Haralson said he thinks Weiler was acting alone.
"We were very grateful to get this on the front end," Haralson said.


text:
Lava Xolo B700 launched at Rs 8,999
Zeebiz Bureau
New Delhi: After recently launching its flagship phone, the Xolo 1000 for Rs 19,990, Lava has unveiled its mid-range dual-SIM Android smartphone, the Xolo B700 for Rs 8,999.
The Xolo B700 runs on a 1GHz dua-core processor with PowerVR SGX 531 GPU. The phone also has 512 MB RAM and 4GB internal storage, expanded by up to 32GB via microSD card.
But the one feature that truly sets it apart is a massive 3450 mAh battery!
Online retailer Flipkart has put the Xolo B700 up for sale at a price of Rs 8,999
Processor: 1GHz dual-core processor; PowerVR SGX 531 GPU
Display: 4.3-inch IPS display; 960x540 resolution
Camera: 5 MP rear, 0.3 MP front
Storage: 4GB internal; expanded by up to 32 GB
OS: Android 4.0 Ice Cream Sandwich
Battery: 3450 mAh


text:
Speedo Kids' Skoogles Goggles
Product Information:
Your budding swim champ will love the Speedo® Kids' Skoogles Swim Goggles. These introductory recreational goggles have a soft, flexible silicone frame for superior comfort and a split silicone headstrap for a comfortable fit. The side release speed fit button makes adjusting the headstrap quick and easy. Brighten your star's day with the bright, colorful Speedo® Kid's Skoogles Swim Goggles!
- Perfect introductory goggle for young swimmers
- Side release Speed Fit clips allow easy headstrap adjustment
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Customer Reviews:
Rated 4 out of 5�by 2 reviewers.
Rated 5 out of 5�by Pokey My 5 year old grandson will love them as he will start swimming lessons next month. Both his mom and grandma like them as well. These are great glasses and will offer great protection for my grandson about to start swimming lessons. December 31, 2014
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1-2 of 2


text:
New EU climate policy unlikely before 2015: Poland
The European Union is unlikely to hammer out its new policy on global warming ahead of a global climate deal that could be clinched in 2015, Poland's environment minister said Wednesday.
The European Union is unlikely to hammer out its new policy on global warming ahead of a global climate deal that could be clinched in 2015, Poland's environment minister said Wednesday.
EU greenhouse gas emissions, blamed for global warming, dropped slightly last year but the much-vaunted system for cutting such pollution ran into even more trouble, the European Commission said on Thursday.
EU lawmakers will vote again on controversial plans to make polluters pay more for the greenhouse gas emissions blamed for global warming, after narrowly rejecting the proposal last month, a top MEP said on Tuesday.
Australia's key strategy to tackle climate change is looking shaky, after another price drop on the world's biggest carbon market raised fresh doubts about the future of emissions trading schemes.
Controversial plans to revive the EU's faltering carbon cap-and-trade system so as to cut greenhouse gas emissions face a tough test in the European Parliament on Tuesday.
Six EU states, including powerhouse Germany, called on European lawmakers Friday to back efforts to revive a faltering market in pollution credits so as to bolster the bloc's fight against global warming.
A top EU court rejected Thursday a challenge by Poland, heavily dependent on coal, to the bloc's controversial greenhouse gas trading system.
Schemes that aim to regulate greenhouse gas emissions can limit consumers' attempts to reduce their carbon footprints, according to an economist at the University of East Anglia (UEA).
The EU executive Monday urged a quick decision on a freeze of 900 million tonnes of pollution credits auctioned to firms in 2013-2015 in order to raise the price of carbon and make investment in clean technology worthwhile.
Japan may backpedal on its pledge to cut greenhouse gas emissions by a quarter, an official said Wednesday, dealing a further blow to already deadlocked global warming talks in Doha.


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Located in the Historic village of Twin Lakes within walking distance to restaurants, small shops, historic church, glacial lakes and peak trailheads, this newly opened lodge has the latest in comforts not found in other historic bed and breakfasts. Each room accentuates the spectacular views with large windows and glass doors. This award winning structure is the only AAA rated lodging in the Twin Lakes Area. The 100 year old Carriage House with cozy fireplace and a large porch overlooking the lake is unmatched in comfort,and 360 degree views. The 2 bdrm. Bungalow boasts a large private yard. Surrounded by close-up views of Colorado's largest glacial lakes and highest peaks, this peaceful setting is sure to rejuvenate your natural senses. New this year is our Swedes Studio,a new studio cabin with full kitchen,bath,queen bed,and big views.
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The Visual History of Stilwells Cottages Direct Brochure
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|Average Ratings
Lena Torres
|Can Answer Questions about Lesbian Life: Dating, Relationships, Breakups, Cheating and Every day life. Prefer not to Respond to: Intricate Psychological Disorder questions (though I can refer readers to other resources i.e. websites/counceling for information and help on these issues). No questions with sexual content, especially from under-age readers.
Alicia Thompson
|I can answer questions about lesbian relationships, dating, coming out, what to do if you like someone who isn't a lesbian, and how to know if you or someone else is a lesbian. I am also willing to be a friendly ear to anyone who just needs someone to talk to-sometimes that is all we need.
Hi Helle, Not every couple is 100% compatible when it comes to sex. Everyone likes something different. I would suggest doing things you both enjoy the majority of the time. However, if your gf loves
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text:
4 Exchanges Settle Lawsuit Over Options
Published: October 3, 2003
The American Stock Exchange and three other options markets have settled a lawsuit by three traders who contended that market makers ignored orders or filled them at prices other than those advertised, according to court documents.
The American Stock Exchange settled the case on Sept. 3 along with the Chicago Board Options Exchange, the Philadelphia Stock Exchange and the Pacific Stock Exchange, court documents show. Settlement terms were not disclosed.
The agreement came after the Securities and Exchange Commission told the Amex in June that the exchange failed to police options trading. The commission imposed sanctions on the Chicago Stock Exchange this week for failing to maintain adequate trading oversight during the Internet bubble.
''All the exchanges are having their problems, as we all know,'' Richard F. Syron, an American Stock Exchange board member, said in an interview. Mr. Syron, a former Amex chairman and chief executive, is also executive chairman of the Thermo Electron Corporation.
An Amex spokesman, Robert Rendine, declined to comment on the settlement or on the lawsuit, which was filed in the United States District Court for the Northern District of Illinois.
Lynne Howard-Reed, a spokeswoman for the Chicago Board Options Exchange, and a Philadelphia exchange spokeswoman, Barbara Sorid, also declined to comment.
A spokesman for the Pacific Exchange, Dale Carlson, said exchange lawyers ''at a certain point just decided to rid themselves of a nuisance'' by agreeing to settle.
The traders claimed that the exchanges refused to execute transactions, changed option prices, failed to confirm trades and cancellations, and voided transactions after confirming them.
Court papers include a list of dozens of transactions in which the exchanges are accused of having acted improperly in 2000 and 2001. Some of the individual transactions cost the traders thousands of dollars, according to the suit.
The commission's report said the Amex surveillance methods understated trading violations, rarely referred violations to disciplinary committees and did not punish violators when cases were referred.


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Sydney FC and Melbourne City are two sides with A-League title aspirations but neither could find a way to put away the other and had to ...
The week's news through the eyes of Fairfax Media's cartoonists and illustrators.
The Canberra Capitals go head to head with the Dandenong Rangers in the first round of the WNBL competition at AIS Arena in Bruce.
Tuggeranong take on Queanbeyan in ACT Premier Cricket's Gallop Cup 50 over Competition at Chisholm Oval.
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text:
Evidence for the occurrence of selenium-independent glutathione peroxidase activity in rat liver microsomes
ABSTRACT Rat liver microsomes exhibit selenium-independent glutathione peroxidase activity which is associated with glutathione S-transferase activity. The peroxidase activity is not due to contamination with either soluble selenium-dependent or selenium-independent glutathione peroxidase activities of the cytosol. N-Ethylmaleimide treatment which stimulates rat liver microsomal glutathione transferase activity concomitantly stimulates the glutathione peroxidase activity. In contrast, N-ethylmaleimide depresses both enzyme activities of the cytosol. A protein exhibiting both glutathione peroxidase and glutathione transferase activity was isolated from the microsomes and purified to homogeneity by DEAE cellulose ion-exchange and S-hexylglutathione Sepharose 6B affinity chromatography.
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- SourceAvailable from: Mallikarjuna Korivi
- "Glutathione family enzymes, selenium (Se)-dependent and Se-none dependent glutathione peroxidase (GSH-PxeEC: 22.214.171.124) activities were assayed according to the modified versions of Flohe and Gunzler (1984) and Reddy et al. (1981), respectively . Glutathione reductase (GReEC: 18.104.22.168) activity was measured by the method of Carlberg and Mannervik (1985) by monitoring the oxidation of nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide phosphate (NADPH) at 340 nm for 3 min. "
Article: Alcohol-induced deterioration in primary antioxidant and glutathione family enzymes reversed by exercise training in the liver of old rats[Show abstract] [Hide abstract]
ABSTRACT: Chronic alcohol consumption causes severe hepatic oxidative damage, particularly to old subjects by decreasing various antioxidant enzymes. In this study, we test the hypothesis that exercise training can protect the aging liver against alcohol-induced oxidative damage. Two different age groups of Wistar albino rats (3 months young, n=24; 18 months old, n=24) were evenly divided into four groups: control (Con), exercise trained (Tr, 23 m/min 30 min/day, 5 days/week for 2 months), ethanol drinking/treated (Et, 2.0 g/kg b.w. orally), and exercise training plus ethanol drinking/treated (Tr+Et). We found significantly (P<.001) lowered hepatic antioxidant enzymes including superoxide dismutase, catalase, selenium (Se)-dependent glutathione peroxidase (Se-GSH-Px), Se-non-dependent glutathione peroxidase (non-Se-GSH-Px), glutathione reductase, and glutathione S-transferase activities in aged rats compared with young. Age-related decrease in antioxidant enzyme status was further exacerbated with ethanol drinking, which indicates liver in aged rats is more susceptible to oxidative damage because of decreased free radical scavenging system in aged/old ethanol-drinking rats. However, the decrease in liver antioxidant enzymes status with ethanol consumption was ameliorated by 2 months exercise training in old and young rats. These results demonstrate that age-associated decrease in hepatic free radical scavenging system exacerbated by ethanol drinking. For the first time, we found that this deterioration was significantly reversed by exercise training in aging liver, thus protects against alcohol-induced oxidative damage.Alcohol (Fayetteville, N.Y.) 09/2010; 44(6):523-9. DOI:10.1016/j.alcohol.2010.07.004 · 2.01 Impact Factor
- "Glutathione transferases are multifunctional proteins acting as glutathione transferase and peroxidase, binding protein of hydrophobic anions or modulators of cell proliferation and apoptosis signaling pathways (Hayes et al., 2005; Reddy et al., 1981; Mahajan and Atkins, 2005; Villafania et al., 2000). We have shown previously a novel function of mtMGST1 where oxidative modification of the thiol in the enzyme may contribute to cytochrome c release from mitochondria (Lee et al., 2008). "
Article: Toxicology and Applied Pharmacology[Show abstract] [Hide abstract]
ABSTRACT: We recently reported that the glutathione transferase in rat liver mitochondrial membranes (mtMGST1) is activated by S-glutathionylation and the activated mtMGST1 contributes to the mitochondrial permeability transition (MPT) pore and cytochrome c release from mitochondria [Lee, K.K., Shimoji, M., Quazi, S.H., Sunakawa, H., Aniya, Y., 2008. Novel function of glutathione transferase in rat liver mitochondrial membrane: role for cytochrome c release from mitochondria. Toxcol. Appl. Pharmacol. 232, 109-118]. In the present study we investigated the effect of reactive oxygen species (ROS), generator gallic acid (GA) and GST inhibitors on mtMGST1 and the MPT. When rat liver mitochondria were incubated with GA, mtMGST1 activity was increased to about 3 fold and the increase was inhibited with antioxidant enzymes and singlet oxygen quenchers including 1,4-diazabicyclo [2,2,2] octane (DABCO). GA-mediated mtMGST1 activation was prevented by GST inhibitors such as tannic acid, hematin, and cibacron blue and also by cyclosporin A (CsA). In addition, GA induced the mitochondrial swelling which was also inhibited by GST inhibitors, but not by MPT inhibitors CsA, ADP, and bongkrekic acid. GA also released cytochrome c from the mitochondria which was inhibited completely by DABCO, moderately by GST inhibitors, and somewhat by CsA. Ca(2+)-mediated mitochondrial swelling and cytochrome c release were inhibited by MPT inhibitors but not by GST inhibitors. When the outer mitochondrial membrane was isolated after treatment of mitochondria with GA, mtMGST1 activity was markedly increased and oligomer/aggregate of mtMGST1 was observed. These results indicate that mtMGST1 in the outer mitochondrial membrane is activated by GA through thiol oxidation leading to protein oligomerization/aggregation, which may contribute to the formation of ROS-mediated, CsA-insensitive MPT pore, suggesting a novel mechanism for regulation of the MPT by mtMGST1.Toxicology and Applied Pharmacology 02/2009; 235(1):77-85. DOI:10.1016/j.taap.2008.11.016 · 3.71 Impact Factor
- "Glutathione transferases are multifunctional proteins acting as glutathione transferase and peroxidase, binding protein of hydrophobic anions or modulators of cell proliferation and apoptosis signaling pathways (Hayes et al., 2005; Reddy et al., 1981; Mahajan and Atkins, 2005; Villafania et al., 2000). We have shown previously a novel function of mtMGST1 where oxidative modification of the thiol in the enzyme may contribute to cytochrome c release from mitochondria (Lee et al., 2008). "
Article: Toxicology and Applied Pharmacology[Show abstract] [Hide abstract]
ABSTRACT: Microsomal glutathione transferase (MGST1) is activated by oxidative stress. Although MGST1 is found in mitochondrial membranes (mtMGST1), there is no information about the oxidative activation of mtMGST1. In the present study, we aimed to determine whether mtMGST1 also undergoes activation and about its function. When rats were treated with galactosamine/lipopolysaccharide (GalN/LPS), mtMGST1 activity was significantly increased, and the increased activity was reduced by the disulfide reducing agent dithiothreitol. In mitochondria from GalN/LPS-treated rats, disulfide-linked mtMGST1 dimer and mixed protein glutathione disulfides (glutathionylation) were detected. In addition, cytochrome c release from mitochondria isolated from GalN/LPS-treated rats was observed, and the release was inhibited by anti-MGST1 antibodies. Incubation of mitochondria from control rats with diamide and diamide plus GSH in vitro resulted in dimer- and mixed disulfide bond-mediated activation of mtMGST1, respectively. The activation of mtMGST1 by diamide plus GSH caused cytochrome c release from the mitochondria, and the release was prevented by treatment with anti-MGST1 antibodies. In addition, diamide plus GSH treatment caused mitochondrial swelling accompanied by cytochrome c release, which was inhibited by cyclosporin A (CsA) and bongkrekic acid (BKA), inhibitors of the mitochondrial permeability transition (MPT) pore. Furthermore, mtMGST1 activity was also inhibited by CsA and BKA. These results indicate that mtMGST1 is activated through mixed disulfide bond formation that contributes to cytochrome c release from mitochondria through the MPT pore.Toxicology and Applied Pharmacology 10/2008; 232(1):109-18. · 3.71 Impact Factor


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Every Friday the PC Gamer team thumbs through its Filofax, coldly picks out the key moments from the past week, then makes an excuse about having to return some videotapes…
Chris Thursten: Dotage
Everybody is expecting me to say the International, so I'm going to say the International. I considered putting the final as my low for this week— it certainly wasn't the contest I was hoping for —but I still felt enormously lucky to be there. A disappointing International final is still the International final, and the event is quickly becoming the centre of my year. I care far more about it than I do about E3 or Gamescom or the rush of big releases before Christmas; e-sports are ultimately more about people than products and that's something I've come to appreciate in the last couple of years. The International made me excited and happy and sad and ready for the next year of Dota. So yes, I suppose, it gets to be my highlight of the week.
Tyler Wilde: Hardline release date goes soft
Delays are usually bemoaned, but I'm happy that EA has pushed Battlefield Hardline to 2015 . When I first played Hardline, it baffled me : here's a cops and robbers version of Battlefield 4, but I still feel like a Russian soldier. It might be scary to drop or redesign the things thought to make Battlefield fun—such as infinite parachuting—but I have no use for another Battlefield right now unless it tinkers with some of the foundational design. The law enforcement vs. criminals angle is Battlefield's biggest conceptual shift yet, and I want all the new design ideas that it implies. I hope we see a very different Hardline next year.
Samuel Roberts: Burn notice
I'm a latecomer to Titanfall, but it has become my go-to game after work. It's the sort of thing that's perfect for about three matches, before my reflexes begin to shut down in the fourth one and I just need to play something turn-based immediately (old, so old). I love the concept of burn cards as kind of temporary cheats, and news of Titanfall's impending black market can only serve to make these a stronger pillar of the game. (I suspect the idea of themed booster packs will encourage players to move out of their comfort zone cards and experiment a bit).
As promised by Respawn, too, no microtransactions will be involved—it'll all be based on credits within Titanfall's current systems. If you played Titanfall at launch then cooled on it a bit, as a couple of my fellow PCG staff have, put that mentality to one side and get more out of your purchase.
Tim Clark: Eggcellent update?
I was torn between making the release of Hearthstone's Curse of Naxxramas my high or low. As my write up indicated, I loved the single-player boss battles, (puzzles is probably a better word), even if Normal mode was comically easy to beat. The slow but steady influx of new cards should also revitalise the metagame, but… in trying to fix the Miracle Rogue problem, I fear Team 5 may have unleashed an even greater evil because right now the ladder feels something close to 70% Zoo. There is, quite literally, egg on everyone's faces. Hopefully the next four wings will restore some balance, or there's going to come a point when hearing "Put this apple on your head!", the clarion call of the Knife Juggler , is just too triggery.
Cory Banks: Dark Souls 2 summons me back
I had finally stopped playing Dark Souls 2 just a few weeks ago, after spending a lot of time with the game's multiple PVP systems. "I'm done," I thought to myself. "I've experienced everything I need here. Shut it down." O f course, I'd forgotten about Crown of the Sunken King , the first of three new addons that From Software will release this summer. And I was a little rusty, forgetting what it was like to not know a part of Majula like the back of my hand. That's part of what made Sunken King so challenging—that and the stronger emphasis on puzzle design. But man, it was fun to play, and by the end I was obsessing over the new gear and co-op areas just as much as I did with the base game. I've played nightly ever since, and I may not stop for a long, long while.
Evan Lahti: Rift driftin'
We have no idea whether Pacific Rim: Jaeger Pilot is a game, or a "VR experience," or what, but the idea of one of my favorite movies from the past few years teaming up in some form with the PC's most interesting new technology is exciting as hell. If anything, it's reassuring that Oculus is continuing to address the need for more content on its platform, and doing so in a way that isn't haphazard—Pacific Rim, after all, featured VR as a part of its plot.
Tim Clark: What if I suck?
It doesn't seem like the single-player Naxx stuff is going to be enough to lure me away from the Hearthstone ladder for long, and I'm still dealing with the weird anxiety I wrote about here . ( This Team Liquid StarCraft II page has been helpful, though.) But another worry has occurred to me: I'm pretty old now, what if I just suck? Like, I really want to play Gods Will Be Watching, which sounds fascinating in Richard's review , but clearly has some very stern moments. Two other colleagues who've been playing it this week have found it hard to the point of impossible. The word "demoralising" was used. Is that the kind of game that's right for me now? In my fragile mental state? Reader, you decide.
Tyler Wilde: PC elbow
I woke up this morning with a sore arm; the kind of soreness you feel after a long day of hiking and swimming. I have not been hiking or swimming in a long time. It took me a few minutes to figure it out: my arm is sore because I've been playing the incredibly demanding platformer Lovely Planet. The game is great (here's my review ), so it's not my low. My low is the dangers of a sedentary lifestyle. When your triceps feel like mashed potatoes because you've been moving a mouse quite a bit, you start to suspect that your general health is on the decline. It's a beautiful day, and I think I'm going to go outside. Just one more Hearthstone match, and then I'll go outside. Oh look, Divinity: Original Sin finished downloading. Dammit.
Chris Thursten: Where are my dragons?
I've got mixed feelings about the Dragon Age: Inquisition delay, too. On one hand, delaying games for polish is something that EA need to get much better at, and Dragon Age 2 would certainly have benefited from it. On the other hand, I'm ready for a new BioWare RPG and that's an extra six weeks for me to spend fretting about what I'm going to call my Inquisitor. As for the potential reasons for a delay, I hope it's as they say—to ensure that an already-strong experience is as good as possible . I'm a bit worried that this is the first time cracks have appeared in the project, but I've decided not to think too hard about that right now.
Samuel Roberts: The owl controller
A revised version of the Steam controller design popped up this week, and I'm still super curious about Valve's attempt to make something living room-friendly that also has the capacity to overcome traditional controller issues with PC-specific genres. All that? Fantastic, even if Evan wasn't entirely convinced from his hands-on back at GDC. But it still looks like an owl. And now, in the image found on the Steam database this week, more like Nite Owl from Watchmen.
Andy Kelly: Sayonara, Spec Ops
This week Yager said there was 'no chance' of a Spec Ops sequel. Despite critical acclaim across the board, it didn't sell very well, and now 2K seem to have nixxed any chance of a follow-up. Boo. I don't think Spec Ops was an amazing game or anything. It was a pretty rote shooter, saved by a surprisingly brilliant riff on Apocalypse Now. What makes me sad about the lack of a sequel is that Yager won't get the chance to build on what they did in that game. With the skills they picked up making it, and a decent budget, they could have made another dark, story-led game in the same vein, and maybe made it a better shooter to boot. But they may never get the chance, and that's a damn shame. This industry, sometimes. Honestly.
Evan Lahti: What's a Yog again?
Yogtastrophe, Yogbacle, Yoglemma… upsetting details continue to trickle in about Yogscast and Winterkewl's failed Kickstarter. This week, backers of the project and the game's developer Winterkewl are all wondering: what happened to $150,000 that Yogscast demanded from Winterkewl when progress wasn't being made on the project? The past couple weeks have been an insightful look into what can go wrong when you overstate the scope of a project, then mismanage it thoroughly.


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Connecticut's Nutmeg Book Award
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The Nutmeg BookAward encourages children in grades 2-12 to read quality literature and to choose their favorite from a list of nominated titles. Jointly sponsored by the Connecticut Library Association (CLA) and the Connecticut Association of School Librarians (CASL),the Nutmeg Committee is comprised of children's librarians and school library media specialists who are members of our sponsoring organizations.
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Kevin Harvick Better Start Worrying
Kevin Harvick has had a pretty good season so far. He has 8 top ten finishes in 16 races and only one race worse than 20th. He is currently 6th in the NASCAR Sprint Cup standings 3 points ahead of seventh place, our most recent winner Clint Bowyer. He is 42 points from tenth place, the last position in the Chase. Although this is approximately one race, that doesn't mean he has one to give up. If he should happen to finish 42 the other drivers are bound to finish well and get some points. A couple bad races and he could easily be tenth or worse in the standings.
Kevin Harvick's bigger problem is that he has not won a race this year. This season so far has the same number of winners as last season. By this time last year Kevin Harvick had three race wins. The Wild Card spots in the chase go to the drivers who have the most race wins who are 11th to 20th in the standings. Right now there is a four way tie with one win each for these two spots. Two weeks ago Carl Edwards had a couple of bad races and is now eleventh in the standings, eleven points away from tenth and the final Chase spot. He also does not have a race win.
It is hard to believe that we are just past half way to the NASCAR Chase for the Sprint Cup and we are already talking about points. We really are not talking about points though, we are talking about winning. For those drivers who are sixth through 20th in the standings the next ten races are all about winning. It is apparent that at this point the two wild card spots for the Chase will go to drivers that have at least one race win. It also looks like it will take more than one win, perhaps two. Kevin Harvick doesn't have a single win to fall back on, little lone two. If he cannot continue to quietly race for top ten finishes until the Chase he could easily find himself eleventh in points and out of the Chase. That is something to worry about. Sorry Kevin, this is what NASCAR had in mind, point racing is a dangerous proposition now.
Brian Berg Jr. is the Lead NASCAR writer for RantSports.com
Follow him on Twitter @brian_jr1 during the race and throughout the week for more NASCAR news and commentary. On Facebook at NASCAR News and Commentary
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Jets re-sign Ellis Lankster and Darrin Walls
The Jets announced they have re-signed CBs Ellis Lankster and Darrin Walls.
Lankster was due to be an unrestricted free agent by Tuesday. He was second on the team with 20 special teams tackles in 2013.
Walls was set to be a restricted free agent. He had 24 tackles and five defended passes, playing in all 16 games last season with the Jets.
Bent, TheJetsBlog.comI'm pleased with these two moves. Bringing back Lankster for special teams purposes alone was vitally important but, as regular readers will know, I still believe he can contribute on defense as well. He's also a popular member of the team and the Jets will be glad to have been able to bring him back because there was apparently interest from several other teams around the league. Walls held his own for the most part whenever he was called upon last year and is an ideal candidate for a backup role. He would have been a restricted free agent, but was unlikely to be tendered.
Each of these players bring different things to the table. Walls has excellent recovery speed, reactions and timing, whereas Lankster is physical and excels in press coverage.
One other cornerbacker – Aaron Berry – remains a pending unrestricted free agent. I wonder if the fact they've re-signed Walls and Lankster means he will be gone. Berry has arguably been better in the slot than either of these players in his career so far, but is coming off a torn ACL suffered early in camp. Perhaps the Jets will wait until they can determine how his recovery is going before they make that call.


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Those of you who are being disrespectful to this heartfelt tribute needs to be slap the shit out of.
Nice! Checkout thegrandreport, they got some good hip hop videos on there too
A great tribute!
this is bad. respect though.
Well thank to Busta for messing up a good sound Real Reggae and Hip Hop do not go to other Period, dont ask me why Fire burn that!
comeon now have u never heard the nas and damian marley collabo album?? its dope I think its called distant cousins..
Great lyrics! Flow needs a little polishing though. But still greatness.
Busta is great,rest in peace Chris lightly,but dedication or not this suck elephant cock!
Sometimes in life it's just best too keep quiet Peace
Nice tribute
its been 1 year dumbass
people often release tributes on the anniversary of ones death
Healing...zip up.


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Paul Morris (musician)
|This biographical article relies too much on references to primary sources. (August 2010)
|Paul Morris
November 2, 1959
Santa Monica, California, USA,
|Rock, hard rock, heavy metal, soul, jazz
|Musician, session musician, songwriter
|Years active
|Associated acts
|Doro Pesch, Mark Wood, Rainbow, Nena, The Teen Idols, Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Joe Lynn Turner, Chris Caffery
Paul Morris (born 2 November 1959, Santa Monica, California) is a musician best known as a keyboardist in Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow. He played keyboards on the Stranger in Us All album and co-wrote the song "Black Masquerade".
Paul Morris studied piano as a child in New York City. He studied under prominent jazz pianists, Lennie Tristano, Hal Galper, and Sal Mosca. He began his career playing with some local bands on Long Island known as Vixen and Full House. He then played with Todd Wolfe in the band, Troy and the Tornados. Todd Wolf later became the guitarist for Sheryl Crow. In 1989 Paul got a call from famed rock drummer Bobby Rondinelli to play keyboards for Doro Pesch's first solo tour without Warlock for the "Force MaJure album tour. Unfortunately this was to be done behind the stage! "Got to start somewhere." Later on everyone was fired, but Paul was retained to help put together a new line up, but first, let's make an album.
In 1990 Paul Morris played keyboards on the album Rare Diamonds by former Warlock singer Doro Pesch. The album was produced by Gene Simmons. In 1991 he went on tour with Doro Pesch promoting the Rare Diamonds album. In 1992 Paul Morris toured with heavy metal violinist Mark Wood through the US and Canada.
In 1994, Paul Morris was notified that Ritchie Blackmore was looking for a keyboardist.[1] He sent Ritchie Blackmore a tape, auditioned, and was hired. He played on the STRANGER IN US All and co-wrote "Black Masquerade", which then became a fan favorite. He then performed with Rainbow for two European tours, one tour in Japan, South America, and in the US. In 1997, Paul Morris toured with Nena of "99 Luftballons" fame featuring, Tony Bruno on guitar, and Tommy Price on drums.[1] This was followed by a tour with The Teen Idols starring Davy Jones, Peter Noone and Bobby Sherman. In 2000, Morris received a call from the musical director of Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Al Pitrelli, to play with the West Coast Trans-Siberian Orchestra for the holiday season.[2] After this tour, Morris continued his career composing and producing his own original music and doing session work. In 2002, Morris joined an 11 piece soul band called the Sensational Soul Cruisers where he remained until 2007.[3] In 2009, Morris was approached by Joe Lynn Turner asking him to fill in for Tony Carey who had become very ill. Two weeks later Over the Rainbow performed at the Sweden Rock Festival. Morris continued touring with Over the Rainbow for the next two years.
In 2011, Morris worked on a new Christmas CD by The Kings of Christmas, a new group composed primarily of former Trans-Siberian Orchestra singers and musicians.[4] Paul Morris is currently playing with one of the nation's top Bon Jovi tribute bands called SLIPPERY WHEN WET (NJ)Based out of N.J.
Paul Morris got married to his true love, Rose Grego on November 11, 1997 in a beautiful ceremony in Kew Gardens, Queens NY.
- 1 Discography
- 1.1 With The Syntherchestra
- 1.2 With Doro Pesch
- 1.3 With Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow
- 1.4 With Joe Lynn Turner
- 1.5 With Randy Coven
- 1.6 With Metalium
- 1.7 With Trans-Siberian Orchestra
- 1.8 With Angus Clark
- 1.9 With Chris Caffery
- 1.10 With Over the Rainbow
- 1.11 With The Kings of Christmas
- 1.12 Easy Living
- 2 References
With The Syntherchestra[edit]
- 1985 - The Syntherchestra
With Doro Pesch[edit]
- 1990 - Doro
With Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow[edit]
- 1995 - Stranger in Us All
With Joe Lynn Turner[edit]
- 1998 - Hurry Up and Wait
- 1999 - Under Cover 2
- 2002 - Slam
- 2005 - The Usual Suspects
With Randy Coven[edit]
- 1999 - Witch Way
With Metalium[edit]
With Trans-Siberian Orchestra[edit]
- 2000/2001
With Angus Clark[edit]
- 2004 - Grace Period
With Chris Caffery[edit]
- 2004 - The Mold EP
- 2004 - Music Man EP
- 2005 - Faces
- 2007 - Pins and Needles
With Over the Rainbow[edit]
- 2008/2010
With The Kings of Christmas[edit]
2011- The Kings of Christmas
Under Cover (1997, cover album) Hurry Up and Wait (1998) Under Cover 2 (1999, cover album) Holy Man (2000) Slam (2001) JLT (2003) The Usual Suspects (2005) Second Hand Life (2007)
Easy Living[edit]
2014-Easy Living
- ^ a b Morris, Paul. "All About Paul...". Paul Morris official website. Retrieved 2010-09-30.[dead link]
- ^ "Trans-Siberian Orchestra family". Trans-Siberian Orchestra official website. Retrieved 2010-10-01.[dead link]
- ^ "Paul Morris Bio". Chris Caffery official website. Retrieved 2010-10-01.[dead link]
- ^ "Kings of Christmas". Kings of Christmas official website.