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A Cry for Help–I Don't Want to Entertainer Over the Holidays
The holidays are here, whether we like it or not. November is the month we start planning, getting dates on the calendar, inviting, thinking up menus, cooking, getting our houses ready for the holidays.
Are you excited or do you already feel burned out … and the festivities haven't even begun?
A long-time follower of RE recently wrote to me, and in true honesty, I thanked her for being real. Real, because I know many of us dread the holidays and have the exact same feelings.
I'm not a reluctant entertainer by any means; in fact, I regularly offer to host gatherings at my house and throw a couple of big parties each year. However, I am frustrated.
I feel that in our group of friends, I am the ONLY one who actually hosts people. It seems as though everyone else has one excuse or another as to why they can't have people over. So as a result, I am the one putting out quite a bit of money and time to host people, and I feel as though I receive nothing in return. I understand that the payoff for me should be that everyone has a great time, and I am happy when they do, but it'd be nice to not have to cram a lot of people into my smallish house once in awhile and deal with the setup, cleanup, and aftermath of spending a few hundred dollars to entertain.
Much of my frustration came about recently when I hosted a party. I didn't get a chance to mingle as much as I had wanted and I ended up not enjoying myself at all–to the point where I'm not doing this again next year. Even with small get-togethers, we are friends with only one couple that reciprocates at all when it comes to entertaining. It's nice to not have to do most of the work sometimes and to feel appreciated when we are invited to someone else's house. But with most of our friends, we are either going out to a restaurant or meeting up at my house.
My husband and I wonder, are we just not on the "A" list and maybe some of our friends really are entertaining and they just don't invite us? I don't know how to reconcile my feelings about all of this. As we come upon the holiday season, I'd love to have a few couples over but then again, I don't feel as though it should be up to me to host ALL THE TIME if we want to see each other. Ironically, my house is the smallest of all in our circle of friends, yet I'm always the hostess.
What do you think? Do I just need to get over myself and be grateful that people like to come to my house and that they end up having a good time, or am I a little justified in not wanting to always put out the expense and the work it takes to be a good hostess? Or is it something else all together?
I think people are just not entertaining like they should. I doubt there is an A list. I know people have judged me for having an A list, when in reality sometimes we just want to invite people over who inspire and lift others up, who are encouraging and know how to have a fun time. The other thing about A or B lists is that, in our minds, we build traditions. As in, this group comes together, and the next time, the same people should be invited.
I like to mix it up. That is what hospitality is all about. And it's always rewarding to invite new people over. Life is about growing, building new relationships, expanding our horizons, and getting to know new people and what they are about.
It's inspiring to invite new people over. It's also comfortable to invite long-time friends over.
Signs of entertaining burnout:
You did not enjoy yourself when the guests left
You did too much
You didn't delegate any of the dishes
You didn't have a good attitude
You didn't include your spouse's opinion in the first place. Was he/she on board?
You're resentful of the money spent
You're resentful of no reciprocation
You're inviting out of obligation, not because you want to form new relationships or stronger bonds
There's nothing worse than bad feelings when you shut the door after the last guest leaves.
I could be judged on this answer, but make sure that if you're feeling burn-out, the next time you should simplify, invite people you really want to be with, delegate so you don't have to do it all, and that you do a heart check (again, my husband is my barometer).
The last time you entertained, how did you feel when your guests left?
50 Responses to "A Cry for Help–I Don't Want to Entertainer Over the Holidays"
- #1
OMG! I can totally relate! But let me say, you are young—and it will NEVER change.
We too have quite a large group of friends that do/plan nothing—and haven't for over 25 years now. There is only one other person besides me in our group that does anything—it's always her or me that plans anything. The others always have excuses—"well, I can't think of anything until after this wedding." To which I responded, "okay, but what about the last 25 years?" That guilted her in to doing something—after the wedding—at least it was one thing after all these years. Prior to that, we had never been invited.
I'm hosting yet another Italian dinner in December and have trimmed my list to just 3 couples. In our larger group, we have NEVER been invited for dinner by 3 of them in all these years—yet they are the first to accept any plans I make.
You are right, entertaining is expensive. I don't do it for reciprocation—we like to do things—games, parties, sporting events, etc. My one friend and I that do it "ALL" go on "strike" once in awhile—saying we are not going to plan another thing. Then we just can't hold out.
I've definitely scaled back on what I do. Even if you have people "bring" things, the brunt of the work is always going to be on you. And, yes, as I'm cleaning up the mess at midnight, I get resentful. If it weren't for my one friend that actually shares my "pain", I'd probably have stopped long ago. Now I just pick and choose what I want to do and who I want to invite. I stopped worrying about—"what if so and so finds out I did something and didn't invite them." The worst that could happen is that they wouldn't invite me to the things they NEVER have anyway! Years ago, I was actually accused by one of my so-called friends of "hogging" all the parties. I told her then and still feel the same way—I would love for someone else to "step up" once in awhile. It would be so nice to just be a guest once in awhile—and get to go home to clean house of your own.
What worked:
We started a poker group 25 years ago. We rotate houses monthly, guys play poker, girls go out to dinner. That is still going on and fun.
We still have an ornament exchange every year—even though myself or other said friend host—each person brings an appetizer of dessert. I'm getting a little bored with it after all these years, but it is still going. Now we've expanded to include our adult daughters—which is fun.
What didn't work:
A monthly movie and dinner—we were each to take a turn planning it—after a couple of months, it just fizzled out.
I started a "supper club"—each of us was to take one month for the year and prepare dinner for the group. That lasted just 3 months before someone dropped the ball.
Sorry to ramble so long–or to sound so discouraging. But I just want you to know that very few people are actually "doers." And that's a "bummer" for us.
Barbara, thank you for sharing what worked and what didn't work for you. I think you are right that more people are doers. I love what Myrna shared below: Hospitality is a gift that I can extend to others. When it is given with strings attached—it's no longer a gift, but something else—-a transaction of sorts. We never invite ahead of time thinking "I wonder if they will invite us over." In fact, I have no expectations, which frees me up. Thanks for keeping it real though. If you lived in our town, we'd love to reciprocate! :)
- #2
I think you're right – sadly, just not as many people entertain anymore.
If she is burned out, maybe she could host something easier – like a potluck or a meet-up at a favorite restaurant. Or maybe she just needs a much-needed break from entertaining this year!
Hi, Tootie. I think you are right. Stop and take a break when there is burn out. I've really there are seasons in life when entertaining comes easier for us. :) Thanks for sharing.
- #3
I've been where that reader is at. Usually it's my BFF and I that host any kind of get togethers. Sometimes I think I try to force friendships that aren't really there even though when these people come over we have a great time but unless I make the effort to contact them, I don't hear from them.
Every year we have a Christmas party and I put forth A LOT of effort in doing it. There has only been one flop and the others have been great. I admit that I spend most of my time "working" the party but I love looking back and seeing what a great time everyone had.
We thought about scaling down this year and only inviting people that have actually made an effort to contact us throughout the year but then we decided that it would probably be a pretty small party. LOL!
Like you said, I just don't think people entertain as much any more and most families are just to busy to do anything, which is sad.
Well those are my thoughts on the matter.
Have a lovely day.
Kim, your words are true here:
Sometimes I think I try to force friendships that aren't really there even though when these people come over we have a great time but unless I make the effort to contact them, I don't hear from them.
This is where we have to decide that hospitality is not about us, and move on. Otherwise we get hurt feelings, don't we?
I'd love to come to your Christmas party this year :)
- #4
I absolutely feel the same way! But here's the dirty little secret – my family was ALWAYS inviting people over to our house when I was growing up and my mother thrived on practicing hospitality (one of her spiritual gifts), but I can think of only 4-5 times that WE were invited over to someone else's house for a meal. Hospitality, the act of opening up your home to others, is just not something that people do anymore (or so it seems). My husband and I have worked at being intentional about having people over. Sometimes the people we select click and it's great, but othertimes, it's a one-time invite.
We rarely get invited over for a meal at other's homes, but in the end, I realized that they may hate doing it even more than I do – or more to the point – they don't think they can. They worry about the house being perfect and spotless (it never will be), they worry that they won't have enough room (people will sit on the floor if there's no where else), they worry that the food won't be as good as it should be (scrape the burned bottom off the biscuits, laugh about it and move on – we've all been there), and the list of "What ifs…" goes on and on and on.
In order to entertain I had to get over myself. I also had to come to grips with the fact that if I was inviting people over with the motive of being invited to their house later, I was always going to be disappointed. Once I moved on from that, if we ever do get an invite – what a wonderful surprise! Otherwise, come on over to our house and make yourself at home! I don't consider hospitality to be one of my gifts, but I know that it's a blessing to others to feel like we care enough to invite them into our house. Yes, there may be dirty dishes (use paper), the soup may run out (just had that happen – talk about embarrassing!), people may see the dust bunny that you missed, but they're not going to remember any of that if you make an effort to relax and have fun with it.
For the record, I think everyone goes through times of burn out on entertaining and having people over, and that's ok too – take a break! If someone asks why there's no party this year, tell them you decided to simplify this Christmas and you're taking a year off from the party. You may be surprised who invites you over instead! Remember, Martha Stewart may LOOK like she does it all, but the reality is, she has a staff. :-)
Hi, Carrie. Simplifying brings freedom, yes! I also love how you say you and your husband are intentional. We are the same way.
(Your words): In order to entertain I had to get over myself. I also had to come to grips with the fact that if I was inviting people over with the motive of being invited to their house later, I was always going to be disappointed.
Thank you for sharing these words. It's best not to set ourself up for disappointment ahead of time, is it? :)
- #5
Being the only one in my family who does the entertaining = Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, summer BBQ's, it can be quite daunting sometimes – the time, the energy and the expense. But then I realize that it's what I like to do. I like to gather friends and family into our home. I am most comfortable being the hostess rather than the guest. It's probably a control issue.
Last year, I couldn't host the family gathering for Christmas as I had just had surgery. I truly missed that experience and am already planning this year's gathering.
Recently you spoke about hospitality being your gift to friends and family. It truly spoke to my heart. My hospitality is my gift. If I'm waiting for that gift to be reciprocated, I'll be sorely dissapointed.
But when I feel like entertaining is a burden, then I know it's time to stop. This girl is definitely on entertainer burn-out. My advice is to take a break this year, enjoy time with her husband and family and create some new traditions that don't include large parties.
Amen, sister. WISE words that you shared here:
My hospitality is my gift. If I'm waiting for that gift to be reciprocated, I'll be sorely disappointed.
But when I feel like entertaining is a burden, then I know it's time to stop.
Thank you for sharing!
- #6
I can relate! Then I stopped hosting. Sort of. ;)
- #7
Oh, I have such conflicting emotions reading this. I am so thankful for the honesty of your reader. Additionally, I am so very sad for her and the others that commented and have exeperienced similar things. It sounds just plain hurtful.
I am going to leave the responding to those things to Sandy, because of course they want YOUR feedback, girl! And it also inspires me to say a prayer that theses ladies receive above and beyond that which they have given.
Their experience also made me grateful for my own. I am a single lady in community with a number of other single friends as well as couples. The couples in my life have adopted me as a member of their families and it is a routine thing for me to get invited to their homes. I try to reciprocate, but what that tends to look like is me house sitting for them so they don't have to pay someone else, babysitting for them, and trying to spoil my girlfriends a bit that might not be able to spoil themselves because of their responsibilties. But my experience has been all of the couples practice hospitality and resciprocity. It is very imperfect. Houses are sometimes clean, sometimes not. Kids are sometimes well-behaved, sometimes not. I'm down with that, because it adds to the familial feel.
Anywhoo, to answer Sandy's question, I am 100% stoked about entertaining this year. I've been thinking that I want to do something, but did not know what. I have a precious little house that has become a place of outreach to young ladies, married mamas, and women of all kinds. One of my very dearest called from her new-home state of Texas and asked if I would be willing to hostess a ladies night when she and her husband pass through from western N.C. to S.C. to see their respective families. This is at testimony to how I have changed and my heart has opened up: I just grinned and grinned all evening. Feels like a blank canvas, and I can't wait to love on the girls in this tangible way, while delegating some things to them, too. :)
Refreshing and beautiful. Thank you, Danielle!
- #8
The last time I entertained I had my girlies over for a ladies night. This is where I experiement with appetizers and drinks I know my family wouldn't try. My friends love coming over and eating exciting new things and catching up. I do this every other month.
I could never have done this a year ago until I bought Sandy's book. I was a Reluctant Entertainer in a HUGE way. No I take baby steps and don't blink an eye in asking someone to bring something.
Oh, wow! Michelle! Thank you for sharing … sounds like a great time, but you are right. It starts with baby steps! :)
- #9
Wow, there are times when I think that Sandy has sat in on a conversation my wife and I had. We were just talking about the same facts, you open your home up, you do the cleaning, the prep, the set up, most of the cooking, and then wonder….. why have we not been invited to so and so's house for a meal or a party?
Well like a previous commentor said, some people just do not have the gift of hospitality, and to be quite honest are not interested in even trying to learn how.
We have been told that entertaining is too expensive, it is, it is too much work, it is, it is not fun, at times they are right. But to all of those nay sayers I ask,…….. then why when we invite you are you the first person at the door?
My wife and I always offer to bring something to a hosts home, food, beverages, paper goods, flowers, and have even offered to come early and help with the set up. We never go empty handed. And when we are asked to bring one dish we usually bring 2. I am not bragging here, just letting people know that there are those who love to entertain and get it, and when they are invited are appreciative of the invite and make sure that they bring something… and there are those who just don't get it. We have one family member that when you ask her to bring something, and when we have family over it is at least 20 people…… she brings a dish that feeds 2 to 3…arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….
Yes it gets frustrating, and expensive, and at times hurtful…… but you know what??? You allow all of that to happen, yep YOU, because YOUR expectations are not met, read the WORD- YOUR -, and I am talking to myself here I have been there a time or 2….
So just remember that we are opening up not only our homes…. but our hearts…. and our lives….. and we should do it without expectations, we should do it to show God's love, to those around us. We do not know what experience good or bad that some of our friends may have had at entertaining. Oh my gosh when we were first married, we had to throw the entire meal out and order pizza because I forgot to turn down the oven and burnt it all to pieces….. we could have let that devastate us but we didn't, we still laugh at eating pizza on our wedding china, the table all decked out with candles, and flowers, and pizza and salad!!!
Sorry to ramble on so but this really is a topic that I love, entertaining…. and it is a learned activity. And while I am rambling ……. THANK YOU NOTES…… better stop now but this is a topic we should all visit at some time.
As we approach the holidays, slow down, breath, and entertain….. with abandon, open your home, your heart and your life to those around you…….. you will be blessed !!
Blessings to all
Curtis & Sherrie
Thanks for sharing, Curtis. I must say, however, that I have a hard time with this … not necessarily your words but the concept:
"Some people just do not have the gift of hospitality, and to be quite honest are not interested in even trying to learn how."
I agree with you, but … we say we don't have the gift of hospitality. Does that mean that we are off the hook to be hospitable toward others? Really?
Love your last paragraph too … with abandon! Yes!
- #10
I can relate as well. I was always the one to host Thanksgiving and Christmas, and it does get to be expensive. And, I felt the same way…I was the one cleaning, preparing, washing dishes, and when it was all said and done after only and hour or so of eating…I was the one who was miserable. A few years back, I talked with my husband and our girls and made a very bold request…just the four of us for Thanksgiving that year. Yes, it made some others unhappy at first but we had the best time. We have since hosted and helped host, but now we SHARE the responsibilties.
I think people feel the need to do it ALL if they are the ones doing the inviting, that truly is NOT the case. Most friends (true friends) would be happy to help out and contribute. So don't hesitate to ask, or if asked… tell them something they can do. The harsh reality is, it will weed out the ones who are in it for the wrong reasons.
Hi, Lauren. I agree with you:
I think people feel the need to do it ALL if they are the ones doing the inviting, that truly is NOT the case.
Trying to do it all = misery!
Once you get the concept down and include others, it's much easier. And enjoyable. Don't be afraid to ask for help! Thanks for sharing, girl.
- #11
Carrie has it right…. Everyone is time starved and I think most people are intimidated by the prospect of throwing a party. They may think if it's not "Martha perfect" it will be a failure. Some of the best parties are the most casual. One of my friends has a "Redneck Turkey Fry" party the Wednesday before Thanksgiving each year. The guest dress up in tacky gear (I was Peg Bundy from "Married with Children" one year) and guests bring tacky foods like Cheese Whiz, Ho Ho's and White Castle sliders. We have a hilarious time, without candle light and crystal. My neighbor and I are the ones who always throw the Christmas, Halloween, Ornament decorating and Valentine card making parties. Hardly anyone reciprocates. It used to irritate me, but you all are right. Many people are busy, tired, uninspired and intimidated. I come from a long line of party hosts, so it's in my blood, and my husband loves it, too. Money has been very tight the last few years, so we have scaled down, but have managed, by hook and crook to have friends over. It is fun!
Hi, Lori.
"Many people are busy, tired, uninspired and intimidated. "
But boy, are these people missing out on some of the greatest blessings in life, aren't they?
Thanks for sharing!
- #12
My wife and I have the same experience with entertaining. We are learning to welcome the "what can I bring" question and not expect invites. I do understand how much work it is to cook, clean, get house set up, anticipate the needs of the guests and make everyone feel welcome. You have to like doing it more than you don't like it.
We are often exhausted when the last person leaves and are deciding what has to be done now and what can wait until morning.
We are hosting my wife's brother,wife and 2 kids for the week after Christman. We know it is a lot of work but are so looking forward to seeing them and the experience of them in our home.
Hi, Rick.
Expectations can kill us, can't they?
Love your words:
We are learning to welcome the "what can I bring" question and not expect invites.
Thanks for sharing on RE! :)
- #13
Hi Sandy,
Your advice is excellent! I also agree with you that I don't think that most folks have any sort of "A-List". Instead, I think most folks just don't enjoy entertaining. I often here from friends that they hate having company because they would have to spend a week cleaning up their house. Your advice in the past that people are not coming to see their house – but to see them – is always excellent. And true.
In my social circle, none of us have perfect homes. We all have kids, some of us homeschool, some of us work outside the home…and so the task of just keeping our homes livable is a never ending job. But I will take livable any day over perfect if it means I can get together and visit with my friends. Besides – – – don't we all feel better when we go to someone's home and it's not perfect? There's a certain solidarity – comradery – in knowing that you're not alone when it comes to house cleaning…and the wash! LOL!
And for those who always seem they are on the entertaining end of the stick – – – Sandy, your advice is spot on…share the load. That's why I love pot-lucks. Everyone has to bring something and that way the hostesses only has to prepare one dish and can enjoy the company.
As always, thanks for a wonderful post.
Sharing the load is really the secret.
Also love your comment:
"Don't we all feel better when we go to someone's home and it's not perfect? There's a certain solidarity – comradery – in knowing that you're not alone when it comes to house cleaning."
I love the motivation to get my house clean, IF I have the time, but with last-minute guests the state of my house "is what it is."
Thanks for sharing, Mary!
- #14
My last "entertainment" was Memorial Day, and it was a family function. I had a great time and enjoyed myself immensely, so I guess that means I'm good to go another round. :)
- #15
We just got to celebrate my Dad's 85th birthday…. and got to have my brothers and their wives over for a sweet dinner, last year I had all the sister-in-laws bring pies.. this year I asked the one who made the best one to bring pie!!! But as our evening was ending I said to my oldest brother… "so lets have Thanksgiving at your house this year!"… and he smiled big and said, "oh you do such a great job, we should have it here!"
I've become my mom after all, and host almost all our gatherings here, except when my mom can't stand it anymore and we'll have something at her house…
As far as friends go, I started calling sometimes and asking what they were having for dinner, and usually they would say…"come on over!" After a few times, they realized that it wasn't that big of a deal to make a few more tacos….and started calling us, we now enjoy some weeknight," don't stay to late dinners" with friends who thought entertaining was not their thing…and they are better cooks than they believed they were, just because they never tried!
Carrie, SO encouraging. I hope everyone reads your comment and realizes entertaining doesn't have to look like a magazine!
Love this:
"we now enjoy some weeknight," don't stay to late dinners" with friends who thought entertaining was not their thing."
Thanks for sharing!
- #16
I reconciled this issue (pretty much) by realizing hospitality is a gift that I can extend to others. When it is given with strings attached—it's no longer a gift, but something else—-a transaction of sorts. I also know hospitality is a practice that is fairly easy for me—and it's not for others.
So I try to give freely—-set my own boundaries by keeping it simple (I agree with Sandy here, bring your spouse into the planning. Mine helps me to keep things realistic) Something like a salad and spaghetti is delicious and affordable—I no longer stress about the house being just so, or the food being extraordinary, or if we'll be invited in return.
Sometimes though–I really just feel like I want to go all out—and at those times I find it great fun, but not on a regular basis. It does take a lot of energy and tends to be expensive.
In our family circle, we insist people contribute and take turns.
The main thing is, it's the people that are important. Anytime we invest in relationship, we lay up treasure in heaven.
love you Sandy
Love you, Myrna. I've learned a lot about hospitality from you and have enjoyed many great meals in your home. I think you and I both couldn't even count the different people we've hosted in our homes, and we're always looking for more opportunities.
This is powerful:
"Anytime we invest in relationship, we lay up treasure in heaven."
Thank you, Myrna!
- #17
Totally related to the statement of burnt out. I also did virtually all the entertaining for friends, groups, family and after 40 years decided to hang it up. For me I have no regrets except I wish I had stopped much earlier. I wore my wings off!
So sorry, JMD. I'd for sure tell young people who are just starting out with entertaining to have "healthy boundaries," and pay attention to burn out. It's okay to take a break, not do it all, delegate, and then pick it up again when the time is right.
It should be a blessing, not drudgery.
Thank you for sharing!
- #18
I could definitely relate to this post. Last year I started having ladies at my house for dinner once a month or once every other month with the idea that we would get to know one another, it would be an open invitation if they had someone to invite. The idea was that I would start this, in turn hoping that each lady would be inspired to open their home, and we could grow this little supper thing into many ladies. However, that is not what happend. They loved coming to my house, I loved getting ready and we had a great time, but when we started our kitchen remodel they were ready for me to be done, and do it again, and no one was willing to pick it up and continue. We had a great time, but I became a little frustrated that no one wanted to make the effort. I have not done much since then, but it is time for me to open up my home again, this time w/ no expectations.
Hi, Jackie.
"The idea was that I would start this, in turn hoping that each lady would be inspired to open their home, and we could grow this little supper thing into many ladies."
Again, expectations absolutely ruin a hospitable spirit, don't they?
Glad you figured it out, Jackie. Thanks for sharing!
- #19
Boy, does she read my mail or what? We've done Thanksgiving for the last 15 years, here in England where it is a quaint 'American' tradition. It is several days' work preparing my Mom and Grandmother's traditional meals for anywhere from 15 to 42 people. I wouldn't bother for anything else – it is what makes Thanksgiving enjoyable to me, preparing those foods. I can count on one hand the number of people who have invited us over for anything like a meal. For a while I had parties for New Years, Valentines, St Pats, you name it, but not now. I don't have as much money as I did before I retired, for one, and It became a chore rather than a pleasure. We still do dinner parties amongst those few people who reciprocate – that's how to get on an A list as far as I'm concerned. I know that this website is about loving other people and all, but my Dad used to say that there is a big difference between feeling useful and feeling used. I aim always for the former because I do hate feeling the latter.
Hi, Shelley, I'd say most of our friends do reciprocate. I like your mindset, here:
We still do dinner parties amongst those few people who reciprocate – that's how to get on an A list as far as I'm concerned.
It's true that people should figure it out that hospitality should be a two-way street. We can use the excuse "it's just not my gift," but I think it's an excuse. Does it mean we really don't try?
For me though, so I don't feel resentful, means it comes back to a heart-check!
- #20
I am blessed to have the gift of hospitality and it is easy for me to plan a dinner party, invite people we don't yet know, and plan some ice breakers. Reciprocation is not expected now, but I used to feel some rejection that we were not invited to other homes, but I realized there were no parties there. Not everyone can entertain or enjoys entertaining. As I have aged, it is a bit more difficult to get everything ready at the same time, but I think our guests would rather have a bit of confusion here than stay home and have a placid evening by themselves. I can laugh at myself more now and it makes for good conversation. Our children enjoy entertaining and are all good cooks, which I think of as the fruit of my labor.
I have taken breaks from entertaining which helps my attitude. Scaling down is needed to maintain one's interest and motivation. I am thinking of repeating a luncheon I had many years ago. I invited several ladies for lunch the week before Christmas. On the invitation I wrote that I know they have much to do, but it would be good to take a break, share ideas with friends, and we all need to eat, so let's do it together at my house. It was so easy and so very enjoyable.
As always, Sandy, your advice was right on. Please keep up the good work.
Ellen, thank you so much.
I love your words here. Everyone should read them:
"As I have aged, it is a bit more difficult to get everything ready at the same time, but I think our guests would rather have a bit of confusion here than stay home and have a placid evening by themselves. I can laugh at myself more now and it makes for good conversation. Our children enjoy entertaining and are all good cooks, which I think of as the fruit of my labor."
- #21
Oh Sandy, that hit the nail on the head. I am in the same boat with a group. But I do it anyway because all invited have a wonderful time and i love seeing the group mingling. The last time they left, I felt good, i had a chance to mingle, we do a tapas thing and everyone brings a dish, some bring their drinks, some drink what we have on hand, it took me half a day to set up and 45 minutes with my husband to put it all up and wash the dishes, etc. and then we sat on the patio for another hour plus and laughed about the good time we had. I would hate not to see these friends. xo marlis
Marlis, we entertained the last 2 weekends, both having new people into our home. I, too, felt the same way …. even with new friends.
Thank you for your words, here, and a reminder of why we do what we do:
"I would hate not to see these friends."
- #22
As I read this I thought, this will hit a cord with lots of your readers…it did me. Sandy, you have faithfully helped us all think about the reason for why we entertain, and to include our guests in the process. You are tremendously encouraging and inspiring.
I see that my younger 20-something neighbors have lots of gatherings and are invited to many as well. I think as we grow older and have more commitments that friends tend to step out of the entertaining arena. Regardless of our stage in life, my husband reminds me that it's all about relationships. And for that reason we need to find ways to extend hospitality despite the perceived return on investment. We may have entertained angels unawares…..
Diane. Wise words from your husband:
"Regardless of our stage in life, my husband reminds me that it's all about relationships. And for that reason we need to find ways to extend hospitality despite the perceived return on investment."
- #23
Hi All,
I am the original letter writer, and I have gained some very valuable insight from your comments. I do believe that I am burned out, at least as far as hosting a large group of people is concerned. I think Sandy's advice to mix it up is really helpful. I decided that I would rather do smaller get togethers with different people, and like one of the commenters (or maybe it was Sandy?) said, I can't worry about so-and-so finding out that I had another couple over for dinner and didn't invite them. I can always rotate so that everyone is invited. I'm thinking I should throw all of their names in a hat and just pull 2 out at a time and invite those 2 couples over. It might make for some really fun mixing. And my friend who does often reciprocate is having us and another couple over this weekend for Sunday dinner where we will start early and end early so we can all be ready for work on Monday morning. We are each bringing a main dish, and I think that 6 people total will really work out well.
I didn't mention that because I grew up with 5 siblings and we lived in a tiny house, my parents NEVER entertained. I think I went the opposite way and may have gone overboard. Hence, the burnout.
Once again, I really enjoyed reading the comments and I've learned alot. Thank you too Sandy for posting my letter and allowing others to offer their insight.
- #24
Hi Sandy,
I totally understand your feelings about being the only one to offer to entertain. MY Mom for years has always hosting/entertaining in her home. When I was a little girl, I remembered my Mother and Father always having company over- Drinks flowing, food and card game playing. We always peaked our heads out of the room to see all of the excitment! Well, now my Mom – a widow still likes entertaining; although with some ailments, still likes to cook for her family and friends. For years she's invited, aside from her immediate family ; cousins, aunts, uncles, neices and nephews, but out of all these people, no-one has offered- except her own children to host or invite her to their homes. Of course, you know how it is; nobody wants to cook or host they just want to be invited- I think it's a bit selfish. It's like a catchers mitt; always catching but there's no thowing back.
- #25
My husband has a long time friend we invited to dinner. He was a work friend so hubby went all out with the best wine, best bakery bread, fresh lobster. The couple came, had a great time, so when they said they would host us in a few weeks, hubby took them seriously. Of course, surprise, surprise, no invitation ever came. Now it is time for their annual holiday party and he does not only not want to go, but states he does not consider them the "great friends" he thought they were. I almost feel guilty for putting us out there like that and the results were that he doesn't feel the same about this guy and his wife anymore.
While I find most invitations I receive are of the "pocketbook, Pampered Chef, Tupperware party" variety, I try to remember that line about entertaining angels unaware.
- #26
That letter hit on a lot of things my husband and I have been feeling lately. We do tons of entertaining and we love it, but it is hard that we very rarely get invited to anyone else's home. As a military spouse, my husband is gone about half of the time, and it gets difficult when the only time I eat with anyone other than my two young children while he is gone is if I invite people over and do it all myself.
However, I was so encouraged reading through all of these comments. It's not about me, it's about what the Lord can do through me in the lives of those around me. Having expectations of getting anything in return just leads to disappointment because I'm focusing on myself and not on the One worthy of my focus.
- #27
Wow! This post was excellent! I too have felt the same, especially over the last year.
We were entertaining a small group (rotating friends) at least twice a month and larger groups about every other month. My kids were hosting movie parties every week in the summer. I loved it and our house was always full. I love opening my home. I love feeding people. I love getting together with friends. If you are sick or just had a baby, I'm there to drop off a meal. But eventually you do start to feel worn down and feelings do start to get hurt when you are the only ones ever inviting.
I'm not saying I want an invite every time I open my home but it would be nice if an invitation was extended every once in awhile. Some have commented that their friends weren't opening their homes at all. But it does hurt when you know your friends are inviting others (and each other) into their homes and it is never extended to you. It's funny. Sometimes my friends will even come up to me and say " Hey you haven't had us over in awhile, when are you going to invite us over for dinner?" I always want to say " Well, since you've been to my house the last 12 times, maybe it's your turn."
This is a constant battle that goes on in my heart. I know I have been called by God to exercise the gift of hospitality but that doesn't mean that it is easy. One night I had been up battling my feelings all night. Not just for me but the hurt my kids have felt with the same issue of always being the ones to host and hardly ever being invited back. After a long night of prayer and crying i was getting ready for my day when all of the sudden my phone started blowing up with texts. Our friends (who happen to be one of the families that does reciprocate) had been reading in Proverbs 22 about a generous man, and decided to thank me for always showing hospitality to others. It warmed my heart, made me cry even more and encouraged me so much.
I have stepped back a little. We still open our home, just not as often and I still take meals over but we mostly spend time with the people who give back. I do miss the constant vibe of people in the home. But if you are only making with-drawls and no deposits are made eventually you have nothing.
- #28
WOW, I needed this! I needed to hear that I wasn't the only one struggling with a lack of reciprocity among my friends. I entertain alot, and enjoy it. Yet I honestly can not remember the last time someone had us over to THEIR house to eat THEIR food. Seriously. Can't remember. I was wondering about the A list thing too, as we don't have one. I invite everyone!
I think people don't entertain like they used to, though they're happy to only receive and never give. My solution has been to only entertain when I truly want to and am happy about it.
- #29
first, i'll say that i come from the view of the non-entertainer. i don't enjoy hosting and rarely have people over. my core group of friends consists of 9 ladies and we have had an annual girls sleepover for the past few years. recently, people have been puching for me to host the events, eventhough others are the "party planners" and voulnteer readily to host. i just don't understand the thought of people inviting others to someone else's home.
my suggestion to this letter is if you don't want to host, then don't host. it's a s simple as that.


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The Seamless Summer Option (SSO) application is available online in the Cyber-Linked Interactive Child Nutrition System (CLiCS) as part of the Summer Food Service Program (SFSP) sponsor and site application.
Seamless applications are due no later than June 1.
Submit SSO applications prior to the program's start date or by June 1, 2015.
• Log-in to CLiCS 2 (2010 and later). Select Applications then select the following search criteria:
• Program type – "SFSP."
• Program year – "2016."
• Search type – "Sponsor."
• Select "Search."
• Renewing sponsors can open, update and complete the 2015-2016 sponsor application that has rolled over in CLiCS.
• New SSO sponsors select the "create" button for a new SFSP/SSO 2015-2016 application. A new SFSP sponsor application will open up, enter the information as needed.
• Complete the contact information at the top and proceed to:
• Question number 1, Type of Sponsoring Authority - select "School Food Authority."
• Finish the sponsor application and select "Save" at the bottom of the application.
• Proceed to the site application(s) by clicking on the red applications tab and change the search type to "Site" and "Search." Open and complete the site application, and remember to select "Save." For a SSO site, check the box in question number 1 for Seamless Summer Site and the screen will refresh.
• For new SSO sponsors or for returning sponsors who need to add a site, go to the site drop down list and select "Other Site." The next screen will ask for a site number; enter the site identification (ID) number and select "Search." On the next screen there will be an option to create a site application for 2015-2016; select "Create" to open the site application and enter the information as needed.
• Select the appropriate Classification of Site.
• Select Seamless Summer Site.
• If the site is not a school site, enter the site ID number for the nearest school. Contact our office for assistance in locating the nearest school.
• Complete the applications and remember to select "Save" at the bottom of the applications and repeat the process for additional site applications as needed.
For any questions or for further assistance, contact our office at 651-582-8526, 1-800-366-8922 (MN Toll-free) or by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.com.


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It's still in my head, the image from a lot of years ago, the image that came to me one day when I was sad and angry and roiled with all the awfulness of what had happened, when my worklife had become void, when the job I loved had been lost to me by bad behaviour not my own. Smashworld came and I fell down until the moment I got up and thought to make my own way, which I did and am doing and will do.
You know how much I love words and the physical act of writing, how much I love the graphemic grace of the thing that is written? Yeah, you do. And you know how much I like holding a pencil in my hand and making marks on a paper with it — marks with meaning, I mean — and also how much I like reading a paper full of writing from someone else's hand? Well, I like all that very much, you know I do, but I like something else too:
Humanity is bad and terrible and capable of the most horrific acts of cruelty and venality. But oh my god, when a beautiful brain does beautiful brain things, it makes me remember that some of us are not only unbad and unterrible, but really fucking wonderful. What I'm thinking of here is this thing I found on the webs that are inter, this fabulous wonderful thing. To be precise, this thing:
In all the annals of object porn, there are no objects that incite greater lust in me than typewriters.
You know what I love? I love "yes". I love "yes" so much, and so hard, and also its more boisterous adjutants "hell yes" and "fuck yes".
A couple of days ago when I was stopped at a street corner waiting for the light to change, a man walked up from behind me, stood beside me, looked at me, smiled, and said, "Nice legs, librarian." Now, I'm really not a woman who enjoys strangers making commentary on her appearance but he didn't have the stink of testosterone poisoning about him so I didn't just default to my "Fuck you, you fucking fucker" setting. Plus? He called me "librarian". And oh good lord, I do love me a librarian, so very very much I do, and am always so happy to meet a fellow member of that tribe, which obviously that man was.
Often I think of the poetry of objects
about the way a seam is resolved
or the way a spine grows
about the things we make with our bodies
and the bones from out of our bodies
I think I think too much about clothes — mine, yours, his, hers, theirs, whoever's. Because really? I think an awful lot about them. Like, an AWRFUL lot. Thing is, when the world is being beautiful, I don't want to be a blight on it and when the world is being unbeautiful, I don't want to add to the ick, so I end up thinking a lot about my clothes. And in my thinking, I also think this: I think style is an act of generosity. I think fashion is just merchandising. I think one is qualitatively superior to the other, by a lot, and in my mind it's clear that the superior one is style.
Imagine if we could remove the mortar that holds all the disparate elements of our selves together. Remove it and fiddle the bricks of character around a bit and repoint, so that we could be remade. Or maybe that's too drastic (altho' I am a woman who likes the grand gesture) — it's not a complete rebuild that interests me but the jimjummery of a rejig.
I read a blog (very intermittently kept) written by a Korean artist who writes in English, which is not her first language. Her tiny strange observations are often very beautiful and made more so by the flaws in her English, a lot more so, I think, because those flaws can be very illuminatory — that skewing of language can make you look at a thing from a whole different perspective. The accidental nature of some of the beauty she writes makes her observations fresh and astonishing.
Want. These. Want. These. Want These.
Blue-and-white china is a lovely thing indeed. I have rarely seen any that I did not like, at least a bit, at least the colour scheme if not the pattern. Because while green is queen, blue is definitely her consort, and the consort's most worthy consort is white.
Lisa Auerbach's Tract House project is full of badassery and makes me happy.
If you read here fairly regularly, you may have noticed I've been on a bit of a consciousness kick lately, posting about dream and nightmare, acid and 'shroom. It's a subject that's still very much on my mind and, in my mullings, I have thought mightily about trepanation, not for the first time in my life. Good old trepanation is, as Wiktionary has it, "The practice of drilling a hole in the skull as a physical, mental, or spiritual treatment" and it's an activity that first crossed my radar close to 30 years ago, when I read the book Eccentric Lives and Peculiar Notions by John Michell. In that book there is a whole chapter, "The People With Holes in Their Heads", devoted to the subject. Now I'm not suggesting I'll be taking the old drill to my own head (or anyone else's, for that matter) any time soon, or even any time not-soon, but for all it's absolute crazy, awful grossness, I'm deeply, weirdly compelled by it. I love Cynthia Girard's poem "There is an insect" because I swear to god it's about trepanation.
Okay, so there's this Canadian clothing designer, Natalie Purschwitz, who runs a small and very interesting operation, Hunt & Gather, out of Vancouver. A few months ago she got the genius idea to wear only clothes she has made herself, for a whole year, in a project she calls Makeshift. Makeshift, I find, is a very nifty notion, if not also a little daunting. (But of course most things worth doing are a little daunting.)
Dock Ellis Pitches a No-No on LSD
By Jilly Dybka
From Elysian Fields Quarterly
The ball's big — like lobbing a volleyball.
And the batter's box is so far away.
Tiny ball, red ball, white ball, rainbow ball.
Wasn't even supposed to play today.
The batters are whiffing in slow motion
Because their strike zone is five miles wide.
The catcher is wavy like the ocean,
Before my release, have to time the tide.
Straight bat, bendy bat, big bat, little bat.
Feels like I'm pitching inside of a dream.
I'm flying as high as an acrobat,
My fingers feel every stitch in the seam.
I wonder what all the fuss is about?
I'm just trying to get the guy out.
I listen to a lot of music. A lot. And while I think my taste is fairly wide-ranging, ultimately I have to recognise that I am particularly drawn to and moved by music that is odd or broken or primal or otherworldly. I want from music what I want from poetry and fiction — I want to be moved. I want to be taken to a place of sentipensante, feeling-thinking, to borrow Eduardo Galeano's most beautiful word, because sentipensante is "language that speaks the truth". And my god, that is a powerful notion.
Anyone who knows me IRL knows that I have a relationship with time that requires heavy reliance on the prefix "over-" to describe it.
I wasn't planning on posting twice today but then I wasn't planning on falling madly in love either.
The notion of a participatory makeocracy thrills me, well and truly, for all sorts of reasons, not the least of which is that I relish the blurring or even eradicating of borders and divisions — integration not segregation!
The backbone of the backbone.


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Mac And Jason 09-05-13 Hour 3
September 5, 2013 9:22 PM
A To Z With Mark Zinno Read More
In The Third Hour, find out who's ready to go in the NFL opening season games with Bleacher Report's injury expert Will Carroll. Also, will the Dawgs be able to bounce back saturday against South Carolina? Find out what Anthony Dasher has to say about it. While your at it, hear a continuing breakdown of all the NFL Divisions and who deserves the crown.
09-05-13 Hour 3


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(WLTX) --- Former USC linebacker Chris Rumph, who played and coached at Calhoun County High School, is reportedly joining Charlie Strong's staff at Texas.
Rumph has been in Tuscaloosa for the past three seasons after a five-year stint at Clemson.
He also had stops at South Carolina State and Memphis.


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Allendale, MI (WZZM) - A new study centered around Alzheimer's Diseasehappening in West Michigan is in need of participants.
Rebecca Davis, an Associate Professor of Nursing at Grand Valley State University, received a $316,000 grant from the National Institutes of Health.
She and her team will use a computer simulation along with a special pair of glasses to figure out how people with Alzheimer's find their way to a destination.
The idea is to test the science behind how to make an environment, like a continuing care facility, more understandable to patients.
Rebecca Davis talks more about the upcoming study and the criteria for patients interested in taking part. Click on the video link to watch the segment.
Participation in the study includes an initial screening visit and testing in the simulation for two consecutive days.
People interested can contact Cathy Weisbeck at (616) 331-5669 or firstname.lastname@example.com.


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This year's Met Gala red carpet was overwhelming, to say the least. There were tons of show-stopping gowns, but we had to narrow it down to a few standouts.
Ensembles ranged from simple (Anna Wintour's sleek-yet-playful Prada number) to cute (Emma Stone's Lanvin frock, which consisted of 3,000 plastic flowers) to retro (Kirsten Dunst in Rodarte) to funky (Lizzie Tisch in a Mary Kantrantzou mullet-dress) to just hands-down amazing (Beyoncé in an intense Givenchy creation).
See those looks and more in our gallery of the night's best dressed ladies:
Beyoncé in Givenchy
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this is some kind of spaceship or something.


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CALENDAR the best of the month > Calendar, September Travel: Healing HolidaysKamalaya state of mindKieren Charteris has a revelation – or was it delirium? – at Kamalaya Koh Samui luxury wellness resort on one Thailand's most beautiful islands.
We fly into at Koh Samui Airport from Sydney via Bangkok late Sunday afternoon. It's one of the prettiest and most unique airports I've ever seen; like a resort in its own right. The lush tropical gardens beside the runway are dotted with open thatched-roof pavilions linked by covered walkways. We're collected from the tarmac by a chauffeur-driven golf cart and ferried to one pavilion, an arrivals lounge lined with colonial-style wicker furniture and bedecked with spectacular floral arrangements. I half-expect Mr Roarke and Tattoo from cult TV show 'Fantasy Island' to greet us in their matching white suits. Instead we make our way to the Kamalaya service desk, where we're met by a smiling resort representative and ushered to a waiting SUV stocked with cool bottled water and the first of many lemongrass-scented cold towels.Kamalaya Koh Samui is a luxury wellness sanctuary and holistic spa opened in 2005 by former yogi John Stewart and his healer wife Karina with their business partner Marc-Antoine Cornaz on the site of a disused Buddhist monk's cave. Kamalaya translates as 'Lotus Realm' in ancient Sanskrit, symbolising the human spirit unfolding like a lotus flower. The 25km drive south along the coast to the resort only takes 45 minutes but when we arrive, it feels much further away than that from the hustle and bustle of Koh Samui's main tourist areas. Everything about Kamalaya exudes peace and serenity: the beautiful hillside setting; the simple architecture and tasteful Thai modern décor; and the saffron-shirted members of staff who welcome us with a refreshing (but sadly non-alcoholic) fruit cocktail. The resort has hotel room-style accommodation as well as suites, but we're lucky enough to secure a stand-alone villa. It's huge, with rich teak fittings and plush fabrics in neutral tones. There's an indoor/outdoor bathroom and a private porch with two comfy day beds and a view over the pool to the beach. And did I mention it's huge? I've lived in Sydney apartments that were smaller.I don't know if it's the resort's calming influence or the onset of jetlag but I suddenly feel very tired. Dusk falls and not long afterwards wefall too, into bed.
Air-conditioning, in a place like Kamalaya, is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because temperatures often reach the mid-thirties and humidity tops 75 per cent. A curse because in the middle of an otherwise quiet night the damned things sound like a small helicopter hovering in the room. I wake less bright-eyed and bushy-tailed than I should. But there's little time to wallow in self-pity as it's straight down to the business of boosting our wellness.Kamalaya has won several prestigious spa awards in recent years and guests come from all over the world to partake in its various programs, which range from Healthy Lifestyle and Emotional Balance to its signature Detox & Rejuvenation package. Like all packages, our Yoga Synergy program starts with a physical check-up called a body bioimpedance analysis and a wellness consultation with one of the staff holistic medicine practitioners. I'm not a fan of physicals but this one is very non-threatening. Height and weight are measured. Then I'm hooked up to a machine which electronically determines things like body fat, body mass index and total body water, as well as less familiar terms like phase angle (an indicator of cellular health and integrity) and body capacitance (which measures how effectively your body stores energy). There are no nasty surprises, although I could probably be better hydrated. The wellness consultation goes smoothly too, with the nice naturopath from Byron Bay recommending St Johns Wort, the amino acid tryptophan or magnesium supplements for my occasional disturbed sleep. I should have asked her how to prevent a partner snoring! Still, I leave the clinic feeling reassured and cared-for.The afternoon brings our first daily private yoga session with Chack, one of the teachers here. He quickly assesses us as absolute beginners and suggests we start with some gentle stretches before we move onto the Vinyasa sequences. Out come the yoga blocks and straps and Chack leads us through 90 minutes of the most intense stretches I've ever encountered. Not even the panoramic view from the yoga pavilion over the ocean and outlying islands can distract me. Our panting and sweating is in stark contrast to his even voice and beatific countenance. In my mind, I nickname him the Smiling Assassin. We leave the yoga pavilion in a trance-like state; it may be shock.
The resort prints a weekly schedule of activities open for guests to attend as they wish. I'd planned to attend the 8.30am Kundalini yoga session but we oversleep. The noisy air-conditioning problem had been solved by turning it off just as we went to bed and turning on the colonial ceiling fans to circulate cool air throughout the night. Hardly rocket science but there you go… Our personalised schedules are empty for the morning too so we take the opportunity to explore the resort fully. As well as the reception and restaurant, the main complex contains a tea lounge and a shop selling trinkets and souvenirs plus the little essentials guests sometimes forget. Just down the hill are an art gallery and library with a television (the rooms don't have them unless requested) and free internet access. Near the yoga pavilion is a smaller yoga sala, a basic gym and a hall for special retreats, concerts and other events. And the extensive wellness sanctuary has prime position on the ridge, with breathtaking sea vistas. With all the buildings nestled amid luxuriant tropical plantings, established trees and giant granite boulders, Kamalaya resembles an enchanted village hidden in the jungle.My favourite part of the resort though is the pool area at the foot of the hill overlooking the beach. The lap pool and adjoining freeform pool are inspired by the traditional bathing areas of Nepal and India, with stone steps leading down into the water and a meditating Buddha watching over the scene like a lifesaver. The pools are fed by a waterfall and surrounded by ponds stocked with colourful carp and flowering lotus plants. In the middle of hot season it's a cool oasis and we spend many hours basking on the sun loungers and lolling in the silken water. The afternoon brings more extreme stretching and beginner's yoga at the hands of the Smiling Assassin but our first massage is to follow and focussing on this seems to make the poses easier. The walk to the wellness sanctuary afterwards is thankfully downhill. We sip lemongrass tea at in the reception area before slipping into sarongs and flip-flops and shuffling after the therapists to one of the many treatment rooms. The spa menu offers over 70 services but today we are having a Traditional Asian Foot Massage. According to ancient Chinese tradition, the feet are miniature maps of the human body and specific points on them correspond to major body parts and organs. By massaging specific pressure points on the foot, therapists stimulate organs and tissues to improve overall function and wellbeing. Whether you accept this theory or not, there's no denying it feels sublime. I return to our villa completely restored, my feet barely touching the ground.
I'm one of those people that just can't function properly without their morning cup of coffee. Plunger or drip filter will do at a pinch but I prefer my skim latte to be made on a good-quality espresso machine by a skilled barista. So I was a little nervous about coming to a wellness resort (which often ban stimulants like coffee, tea and alcohol on health grounds) in Thailand (which doesn't have a developed coffee culture). Luckily for me (and everyone whom I come into contact with each morning) Kamalaya does not ban coffee as part of its dietary regime. After I request a latte at our first breakfast, the thoughtful waitress brings one to our table every subsequent morning without me having to ask. As for the quality, it's not going to win the resort any prizes to go with the spa awards but it's drinkable.In fact, while the founders do adhere to the holistic tradition that food is medicine, throughout my stay I can't tell I'm eating "health" food at all. The Soma restaurant and Amrita café serve a wide range of delicious dishes that draw from both Eastern and Western culinary styles. There's no pork or beef out of respect for the major religious traditions in Asia, and no deep-fried food (so no crunchy golden French fries with anything - sob). But there's plenty of seafood, poultry and lamb among the tasty vegetarian options for us hungry carnivores, and the dessert menu boasts everything from light sorbets and fresh fruit salads to rich chocolate soufflé for the sweet-tooths. There's even (hallelujah) alcohol, although the range is limited and some of it not inexpensive. But downed with dinner on a sultry evening the local Singha beer tastes like nectar of the gods.Dinner conversation at a resort that specialises in wellness of the body, mind and spirit can, of course, get quite otherworldly. It wouldn't be unusual to overhear one guest remark to another that "Today's releasing ritual really freed me of negative influences and my chi energy feels much more balanced and in tune with the universe." But what surprises me is how visceral the dinner conversation can be as well. Colonic irrigation, or colon hydrotherapy as therapists prefer to call it, is a hot subject with one group. It turns out they're on the Detox & Rejuvenation program, which combines various therapies (including a colonic) with special low-inflammatory, low-glycaemic vegetarian cuisine and nutritional supplements to eliminate toxins and accumulated waste from the body. Going by their choice of topic for the table, the program may also eliminate some accumulated social niceties from the mind!A colonic is not included in our Yoga Synergy package. Guests can buy additional therapies and treatments a la carte but I chicken out and stick with our daily yoga and massage. However, my friend volunteers to undergo it for the purposes of researching this article. What's that famous quote? "There is no true friendship without self-sacrifice." (Sensitive readers may want to skip ahead to the next day.) The procedure involves a nurse or medical therapist inserting a tube into the rectum and slowly filling the bowel with warm water. My friend says there is no discomfort, rather a gradual feeling of fullness "like a hot-water bottle filling up". The therapist sometimes massages the patient's abdomen to help dislodge any blockages. Then the water is released while she watches the tube for signs of any waste matter that may have sat in the bowel for years. It's generally much darker in colour than normal. Her only comment to my friend though is that he needs to chew his food more. Still with me? Colon hydrotherapy is meant to increase metabolism, relieve digestive disorders such as constipation, and improve ailments ranging from headaches, fatigue and irritability to skin conditions and allergies. My friend reports feeling lighter and more energised than before. And yes, he would do it again. I remain unconvinced. Call me anal-retentive if you will – or just easily embarrassed.
You know you're relaxed when you start to lose track of time and forget appointments. After a leisurely breakfast and a few hours reading my book on the sun lounger, I'm lounging about in the freeform pool about midday when one of the pool attendants approaches and hands me a phone. It's the wellness sanctuary. I'm 15 minutes late for my Traditional Asian Hand Massage. Will I be arriving soon? I get there as fast as I can but it's not fast enough. The therapist has another booking afterwards and seeing me now will cause her to run late. Out of breath, sweating profusely and cursing my own stupidity, I'm about to self-combust when one of the receptionists hands me a cold herbal tea with a smile and says, "Don't worry Mr Charteris. We can rebook you later this afternoon." Problem solved. The staff at Kamalaya are uniformly wonderful. Everyone from the groundsmen and waitresses to the therapists and resort management are gracious, friendly and attentive to a level seldom seen in Australia. Although they are just doing their jobs, you can tell they take pride in their work and really care about their guests. Every interaction with a member of staff makes me feel like I'm the only person they're looking after that day – and I bet all the other guests feel exactly the same way. Even the Smiling Assassin has our best interests at heart. I can tell by creases around his eyes and the genuine happiness in his voice when he commends us for achieving a reverse triangle or Parivritta Trikonasana pose that doesn't resemble a short-sighted hunchback with vertigo bending to tie his shoelaces. It's in this exact pose (reverse triangle, not short-sighted hunchback) that I have my Yoga Moment during our last private session. Chack has a personal training client in the gym so our teacher today is Sanya. He tells us he is Chack's teacher so I'm trying extra hard. My bottom hand grasps a yoga block beside my front foot, my hamstrings are stretched to the limit, my hips are so open I don't think I'll every be able to walk properly again and my breathing is deep and ragged. Then I raise my other arm to the ceiling and look towards my top hand and, I kid you not, there are three gorgeous blue butterflies fluttering around the still blades of a silent ceiling fan. As I focus on them I feel my body shift subtly into a better alignment, hear my breath quieten and sense my mind become peaceful. I feel at one with my breath and my body, at one with the beautiful butterflies and at one with the universe that created them. Then my legs spasm and I'm forced to return clumsily to an upright position. But my Yoga Moment (I'm sure I wasn't just delirious) has created a spark of greater awareness within me. It may not shine very often or very brightly in my day-to-day life but I know it's there.
I miss the open yoga session for the fifth morning in a row. It's so I can try acupuncture for the first time – but I still feel a little guilty. Walking back to the villa with my lower back tingling (nine 34-gauge needles, two more than a inch deep, no blood) I realise that's the beauty of Kamalaya – it's all about choice. Not just the activities you partake in, but the wellness program you require (if any – you might just want to enjoy the resort's luxurious, peaceful setting), the food you eat, and the type of holiday you want – to mingle with the other guests and make new friends or to get some valuable me-time (or we-time as a couple). With the absence of the strict controls and rigid rules some wellness retreats put in place, guests are able to let go and open themselves up to new experiences and possibilities. At a late breakfast before checking out, I realise the attractive older woman I've been saying hello to each day since our arrival – the one with blonde cropped hair and a Scottish accent who looks like singer Annie Lennox – is in fact Annie Lennox. I've worked for a gossip magazine in the past and this resort is known to attract a famous clientele so I should have clicked earlier. But Kamalaya has worked its magic on me. This is a more than just a very special place; it is a state of mind that is free from the expectations and responsibilities of the outside world. The old me would have spotted a celebrity in our midst straight away; the new me was less interested in what was going on around me and more interested in what was happening inside. I might not be unfurling yet like the lotus flower the resort is named for but the seed has been planted. Whether it flourishes is now up to me.PS: I have a confession to make. There was still enough of the "old me" remaining to snap a quick shot of the back of Annie Lennox's head across the restaurant on my iPhone. I obviously needed a longer stay at Kamalaya for the changes to set in properly. But don't worry Annie; there's enough of the "new me" established that I'm only going to show the picture to my closest friends and family. And yes, you look lovely.
Kamalaya Koh Samui Co, LTD Wellness Sanctuary and Holistic Spa Resort. All rights Reserved | Koh Samui Spa Resort and Health holidays Thailand detox retreats yoga vacations


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Washoe County Golf Club
8 Reviews
- 2601 South Arlington, Reno, NV 89505
- (775) 828-6640
- washoegolf.org
|18 total holes at facility
|Green fees - $34 to $44 (estimate)
|Built in 1936
|Driving Range: Yes
|Municipal Park golf course
Washoe County Golf Club is an 18-hole regulation length golf course in Reno, Nevada. This medium-length layout has 3 sets of teeboxes for a fun, but challenging golfing experience. Online tee times may be available at Washoe County Golf Club or at nearby golf courses, usually offered at a discount from the normal rate.
|Course Rating
|Back Tees
|Golf Pro: Darin Menante
|Course Superintendent: Bob Miller
|Director of Golf: Barney Bell
|Manager: Barney Bell
Notice: occasionally there will be errors, even though the data is typically right. If you notice any issues with any courses, please contact us.
Tee Times for Washoe County Golf Club (and other golf courses)
3.5 Stars (8 Reviews) - Last updated on July 15, 2014
There is a Yelp.com page for "Washoe County Golf Course - Reno, NV"
The score on Yelp is 3.5 out of 5. That score is an average of 8 ratings, and it is rounded to the nearest 0.5. Also note that sometimes Yelp excludes from that score any reviews that that it classifies as "not recommended."
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From Zero to hero: Riding the blazingly quick, electric Zero Motorcycles
From Zero to hero: Riding the blazingly quick, electric Zero Motorcycles
The first time Zero Motorcycles stopped by our headquarters four years ago, we were intrigued by the promise of electric motorcycles, but our team felt they needed more work. Fast forward a few years, and the new line from Zero comes across as mature and well thought out.
Staff riding enthusiasts sampled several motorcycles, including the entry-level XU, Zero S street fighter, Zero DS dual sport, and Zero FX stealth fighter.
As Consumer Reports engineer Marc McEntee put it, "The new models are not evolutionary, but revolutionary. They are real motorcycles with electric motors. They accelerate, brake, and feel like the real thing." Indeed, this impression was shared by the several staffers who rode the bikes.
Visit our motorcycle buying guide for advice on choosing the right bike and motorcycle safety.
In the time since we last met, Zero gathered motorcycle industry veterans to develop three fresh product lines with increased range and performance. About the only thing that looked familiar on their second visit was the Mercedes-Benz Sprinter van carrying the bikes.
The new lineup has all the virtues of those early bikes, but with beefed up components, a powerful new motor, and the appearance of "real" motorcycles. They're still new-rider friendly, with relatively light weight and shiftless electric drive. Being virtually maintenance free remains a real attraction.
Our riders universally commented on the ease of use. With no need to shift, there are fewer controls to operate than with a traditional motorcycle. Simply twist the throttle and go. In "Eco" mode, regenerative braking causes rapid deceleration when the throttle is eased, described by one editor as "touchy," allowing the brakes to capture kinetic energy to replenish the battery. We wish the bikes had antilock brakes, especially as they have unique appeal to less-experienced riders. A company official explained that antilock systems were simply cost prohibitive at the current sales volume of about 1,500 units a year. However, due to coming overseas regulations, Zero plans to have ABS by 2016. (See our guide to the 2013 motorcycles and scooters with ABS.)
The electric powertrain gives the bikes unique appeal. Senior Associate Editor Eric Evarts noted that the Zeroes are "really easy to ride, with effortless and silent acceleration."
Senior Auto Test Engineer Gabe Shenhar said, "I thought I might miss the tingle and sound of a real motorcycle, but the lack of vibration throughout your body is a breath of fresh air."
Range varies significantly by model, battery set-up, and of course, how you ride. With just one battery, the $7,995 XU has a claimed urban range of 38 miles. Add a second battery and the range extends to 76 miles city. On the highway at 55 mph, Zero claims a 48 mile range. At 70 mph, that drops to 35 miles. This small bike, with a feather-like 260-lb. curb weight, has the unique benefit of removable batteries; this can be a boon for city dwellers that may want to tote a battery into an apartment to recharge. Depending on the bike and battery pack, Zero touts that the lithium-ion batteries are engineered to last 87,000 to over 300,000 miles--further than many motorcycle owners may ride in a lifetime.
The 54-hp Zero S street fighter has a much greater range at 70 miles combined for the ZF8.5 ($13,995) and 93 miles combined with the larger pack in the ZF11.4 ($15,995). Stick to the city and the ZF11.4 can go 137 miles--or a multiple of what the average American drives daily. (The model designations take their names from the battery capacity, in this case 11.4 kWh.) Zero estimates that the cost to recharge the ZF11.4 is a mere $1.20. The team enjoyed this electric sport bike, zipping up and down the local parkway, and savoring its thrilling, effortless near-silent acceleration.


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Sprint REV 9/6/14
When: SATURDAY September 7, 2013
Where: The swim will take place in beautiful Lake Erie running parallel to Cedar Point in relatively shallow waters. The bike will be flat and fast with beautiful views of Lake Erie and Sandusky Bay. Finally, athletes will run a very fun 3.1 miles around the amusement park.
This course is great for beginners or for those veterans that want to go fast.
Total Mileage 15.6
- 0.5 mile Swim
- 12 mile Bike
- 3.1 mile Run


text: The Truth About You: Looking Through Love's Lens by Christina Mead • December 5, 2013 Those are the little things, the little acts of love that God sees and understands. Those are the things that define you, that make your whole being beautiful. That doesn't make up for our sins and failings, and it certainly doesn't excuse them… but it means there are shreds of goodness even in the midst of our brokenness. The definition of beautiful isn't an absence of sin or blemishes; it's the presence of love. Beautiful is not about having arms like Michelle Obama, but like Mother Teresa.


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Ravens OL Jah Reid arrested, charged with two counts of battery
For the third time this offseason, a Ravens player has been arrested. This time it's backup offensive lineman Jah Reid, who was arrested early Sunday morning in Key West, Fla., and charged with two misdemeanor counts of battery, according to the Baltimore Sun.
According to police, Reid and another man named Benjamin Buxton fought with "several other people" at the Red Garter Saloon, and when police viewed surveillance video, they saw Reid head-butting, punching and kicking a man.
When security officials tried to break up the fight, police said Reid began punching them as well.
Both Reid and Buxton were released on $2,000 bonds.
"We have learned of the situation and are gathering information," the Ravens said in a statement.
Reid, who was drafted by Baltimore in the third round of the 2011 draft, is coming off a 2013 season in which he played 10 games but started none. He had started seven of the nine games he played in 2012.
Ravens running back Ray Rice (simple assault-domestic violence) and receiver Deonte Thompson (marijuana possession) also have been arrested this offseason.
Reid's mugshot via the Monroe County Sheriff's Office.


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- Northern New York Newspapers
- Watertown
- Ogdensburg
- Massena-Potsdam
- Lowville
- Carthage
- Malone
- NNY Business
- NNY Living
- NNY Ads
EVANS MILLS — Chryssaundra L. Harrison, 38, of 28362 Cardinal Lane, was charged by state police at 3:55 p.m. Thursday with fifth-degree criminal possession of stolen property after allegedly stealing DVDs, a tablet and a DVD player from a woman who lives at the same address.
Police could not disclose whether Ms. Harrison is a roommate of the victim, Brittany Birdwell, or whether they live in separate apartments in the same building. Ms. Birdwell reported the stolen merchandise to police after she found her DVDs and other items listed for sale at the Pawn King, 26457 Johnson Road. The merchandise was stolen from July 19 to 25 at the Cardinal Lane residence, police said.
Ms. Harrison was released with an appearance ticket for LeRay Town Court.
Thousands of readers like you have made Northern New York Newspapers the number one ranked website* for local news and sports coverage in the north country.
You can continue on to this article in a few seconds, or you can visit one of our websites:


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ROCKVILLE, Md., Aug. 7 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ -- Novavax, Inc. (Nasdaq: NVAX) today reported a net loss of $8.5 million, or $0.10 per share, for the second quarter of 2009 compared to a net loss of $9.4 million, or $0.15 per share, for the second quarter of 2008.
For the six months ended June 30, 2009, Novavax reported a net loss of $16.9 million, or $0.22 per share, as compared to a net loss of $17.1 million, or $0.28 per share, for the six months ended June 30, 2008. Total cash and short-term investments as of June 30, 2009 were $31.2 million compared to $33.9 million as of December 31, 2008. Net outstanding indebtedness related to the company's convertible notes was reduced by 17.8 million as of June 30, 2009 when compared to December 31, 2008.
Since the first quarter, Novavax continued to advance its vaccine pipeline, improved its balance sheet by raising additional capital and retiring 100% of its convertible debt, and entered into an initial agreement with ROVI Pharmaceuticals of Spain ("ROVI").
Specific accomplishments since the first quarter included the following:
|SOURCE Novavax, Inc.
Copyright©2009 PR Newswire.
All rights reserved


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Play our fun game and find out if the one you like likes you back. Confide in us if you think you'd hit it off by clicking: Yes, No, or Maybe. We'll anonymously find out and let you know if the feeling is mutual. You have nothing to lose!
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You both said YES! The feeling is mutual. Now the rest is up to you! Say Hi and get the conversation started.
I love my life and I consider myself very happy person. I enjoy good music, cooking good food, dancing and spending time with my family and my friends.
I love my family! I love my children and my granddaughter Sara and My Grandson Steve Jr. - they are very cute!
I love my friends too! I have always invested in friendship and I have been blessed with a lot of friends. I think that my biggest qualities are being extremely loving, tolerant and forgiving. I always try to see the positive side of people I don't like to judge anybody. I always trust people and sometimes I get disappointed .
I'm from Brazil.Now I am in a new phase, living here in USA, and I enjoy it a lot. The only thing missing is that special one. I want to find the love of my life, which has not happened yet.
I'm asking God to send me a special man
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Spark Networks USA, LLC does not conduct background checks on the members or subscribers of this website. However, the safety and security of our members is our top priority. We urge all members to follow our online safety tips.
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The Color Code, by Dr. Taylor Hartman, is one of the most insightful personality tests in existence, and is made up of four personality Colors, or driving Core Motives. The Color Code teaches you the real motives behind your actions and how to better relate to other personality types.
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Any woman who has more than one child can tell you how different each child is from birth. You are born with your personality intact. The Color Code is based on your natural, innate personality type. Of course, people may change over time, but your Core Color will always remain the same.
Sometimes it is difficult to choose from the four options given, but there is usually one that fits better than the rest, or at least one that you could see yourself as more so than the others. If you're still unsure, try asking someone who knows you well, such as a parent or sibling. They can give clarity on areas of your personality that you may not notice.


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|Length Overall
|19' 2''
|Dry Weight
|2,590 lbs.
|8' 0''
|Tested Weight
|2' 10''
|Weight Capacity
|Draft Up
|Person Capacity
|Draft Down
|Fuel Capacity
|42 gal.
|Air Draft
|Water Capacity
|20 deg.
|Length on Trailer
|Max Headroom
|Height on Trailer
|Bridge Clearance
|Trailer Weight
|Total Package Weight (Trailer,Boat & Engine)
|Prices, features, designs, and equipment are subject to change. Please see your local dealer or visit the builder's website for the latest information available on this boat model.
|Std. Power
|1x135-hp MerCruiser 3.0L
|Tested Power
|1 x 135-hp MerCruiser 3.0L
|Opt. Power
Not Available
The 192 is sporty and stylish, registering a top speed of 38 mph and available in yellow, blue, red or black two-tone hull.
Smart Layout
The helm of the 192 is complete with single-lever shift & throttle control w/trim & tilt in handle as well as omplete marine instrumentation.
Fantastic Fun
The 192 Captiva Bowrider is allows you to soak up some rays...and have a great time!
|Rinker Rinker
Surprise Performance
I love horsepower. The more cylinders, the better. I revere turbochargers, fuel injectors, intercoolers, aftercoolers: anything that can be added to an engine to give it more kick. I'm not a speed demon; it's acceleration that I crave. Raw, push-you-back-in-the-seat power. So when I was given the assignment to test a 19 foot boat with a 135 horsepower, 4-cylinder, carbureted 3.0 liter engine I was, well, uninspired. Especially considering that I had just run the same boat with a 190 horsepower, 4.3 liter V-6. Having a penchant for power, I was astonished with the performance that this little engine gave Rinker's 192 Bowrider. In short, I was surprisingly satisfied!
In reviewing the numbers between our test boat and her more muscular sibling, the results were remarkably comparable. While the smaller engine, equipped with a correspondingly smaller propeller, cannot be as fast at a given RPM, the fuel consumption to speed ratios were almost dead even. At 25 miles-per-hour, both boats burned about 5.8 gallons-per-hour, for a range of approximately 160 miles. This similarity continued right up to the 3.0 liter's top speed of 38 miles-per-hour, where the little engine burned about a gallon-per-hour less fuel then the 4.3 liter at the same speed. Even the time to plane was within two-tenths of a second. The most significant divergences were a six mile-per-hour discrepancy in top speed, and a two second difference in time from 0 to 30 miles-per-hour. The smaller engine was also noisier above 35 miles-per-hour, but the sound readings were comparable at slower speeds.
Beside the performance, the boat held other surprises as well. Rinker aggressively encourages feedback about their boats from customers, dealers, employees, and apparently anyone who will voice an opinion. At the end of three days of testing, the General Manager of the company followed our test captains through each of thirteen boats, asking questions and taking notes regarding our likes, dislikes, and suggestions. Their willingness to accept and evaluate criticism, and incorporate sensible changes into future boats shows in the finished product. Even on such a small boat, I found numerous thoughtful features that I wish were incorporated by other manufacturers. One small, yet noteworthy example is the rocker switch for the horn, which is colored red to instantly distinguish it among the other switches on the panel. Other niceties include a built-in trash receptacle with a removable insert for cleaning, plenty of well-placed, thoughtfully designed storage compartments, and an overwhelming abundance of drink holders. (I counted twelve on a nineteen-foot boat, which is just adequate when you consider that they magnetically attract sunscreen, sunglasses, cellphones, car keys, cameras, and innumerable other odds and ends.) One flaw reported by all four of the test captains involved the bucket-style helm chairs. The forward part of the seat bottom flips up to allow plenty of room to stand in front of the seat when docking or running in tight quarters. Unfortunately, with the seat in this position the lever that operates the seat's sliding mechanism protruded painfully into our right calves. One of the test boats sported a newly redesigned locking mechanism that eliminated this problem. If you like to run your boat while standing, try to get the new design.
The seating arrangement shows careful consideration as well. Seats in the bow area have padded back and side rests, with convenient grab-rails. All the way forward, the seats are separated by three steps, aiding in boarding the boat from the bow, even for small children. Drink holders and an anchor locker are built into these steps. Behind the windshield, the afore mentioned bucket seats swivel and slide. Farther aft, an L-shaped settee extends down the port side and across the transom. Aft of this settee, the engine compartment cover makes a comfortable sun pad. On the starboard side, a walk-through is provided to traverse from the cockpit to the swim platform without having to climb over the sun pad or settee.
Overall, I found this Captiva 192 Bowrider to be a great little runabout. While the 3.0 liter engine proved more than adequate with as many as four people aboard, I suspect it may be marginal for heavier loads. If you like large crowds or plan to ski a lot, consider the six or even eight cylinder engine option. But if the larger engine doesn't fit your budget, or you just don't need the extra horsepower, the 3.0 liter proved to be a fun, affordable little engine that could!
by Captain Vince Daniello
|CD Stereo
|Power Steering
|Exterior Features
|Carpet: Cockpit
|Ice Chest
|Outlet: 12-Volt Acc
|Swim Ladder
|Swim Platform
|Bimini Top
|Cockpit Cover
|Full Canvas
= Standard = Optional
|Warranties change from time to time. While BoatTEST.com has tried to ensure the most up-to-date warranty offered by each builder, it does not guarantee the accuracies of the information presented below. Please check with the boat builder or your local dealer before you buy any boat.
Full Warranty Information on this brand coming soon!


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|Ray D'Alonzo, Ph.D., is a visiting professor in the Chemistry Department of the University of Massachusetts Amherst and a retired R&D Manager of Procter & Gamble where he worked for over 31 years. He has led research programs in bone metabolism, infectious disease, respiratory disease, arthritis, and nutrition and has published scientific papers on a wide variety of topics from the chemical composition of fats and oils to the pharmacoeconomics of osteoporosis. Dr. D'Alonzo is the recipient of the Chancellor's Medal from the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, in part, for his contributions to the development of new pharmaceutical agents. As both a patient and scientist, he has made a personal effort to increase the awareness of Chiari in the health care sector and to assist others afflicted with the syndrome. He has published the story of his personal struggle with Chiari in a book, Contents Under Pressure, with 100% of royalties going towards Chiari education, awareness, and research programs.
September 1st, 2012 --
I have been involved in the Chiari world for about 13 years. It is not as long as some others but long enough to have a fix on things. Over the years, I have talked to many others who did not experience the desired outcome after decompression surgery. The first thing I always tell them is that it takes time. While I do not have any long term recovery data generated from a controlled study, I have observed many who have improved significantly after 2 to 5 years.
There is also an important emotional component to recovery. It is hard to feel good emotionally when you feel bad physically. This is very natural. Likewise it is hard to feel well physically when you feel bad emotionally. It is the classic bird in the net syndrome. Emotional well being is complex. I do not profess to be an expert in this area but I do understand that it encompasses many aspects of life. I have actually seen individuals who were struggling for an extended period of time after decompression surgery make a turn-around recovery upon separating from an unwanted spouse or job. I am not stating this as an example to advocate divorce or quitting your job. I mention it to point out that what may seem peripheral to recovering from Chiari can in fact be integral. Individuals who continue to struggle after surgery need to get a handle on all aspects of their life in order to sort out their emotional state. Seeing a therapist for help in this regard is something I often recommend.
When we feel bad, it can be amazing what we are willing to do. We'll try all kinds of medication, various different nutritional supplements, and many different types of alternative therapies ranging from acupuncture to hypnosis to cranial sacral therapy. I am not saying that these things are wrong but when patients engage in these approaches month after month and do not make the progress they desire, they need to consider perhaps some of the basic things they can do for themselves to promote physical wellness. By that I mean, eating right, sleeping right, and partaking in regular exercise.
All the various molecules in our body depend on one another. There is a balance between them like all the various different instruments in an orchestra. The technical term for this is chemical or biochemical homeostasis. Just as the first violinist tunes the orchestra by setting the pitch, we need to tune our biochemistry by controlling our weight and optimizing both our sleep and activity. Taking antidepressants and getting acupuncture weekly is not going to be effective if you are overweight, sleep too much or too little, and refuse to exercise. All three of these basic control rods influence the production and balance of numerous biochemical molecules and pathways. Taking drugs to suppress appetite or induce sleep is only a good idea for the short term. When used chronically, they grossly interfere with the natural homeostasis. By the way, nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol are also molecules that interfere with homeostasis. Rationalizing their frequent use will not change this fact.
There seems to be countless diets and ways to lose weight. The mere fact that this is the case tells me that they are largely ineffective. One thing I know as a chemist is energy consumption and storage or calories in and calories out. If you reduce caloric intake, you will lose weight. Whatever diet you may be trying, eat until you are no longer hungry not until you are satisfied.
Sleep can be a tough one with all the sleep aids and medications. Try discontinuing them altogether and initiating something called sleep compression. By this I mean reduce the time you spend in bed not sleeping. There is a great book I recommend that explains this called "Desperately Seeking Snoozin" by John Wiedman.
Last but not least, there is exercise. Most people realize its importance but hate it or find it easy to conjure up excuses not to do it. Here I recommend thinking about exercise as some time to have to yourself. We all need time to ourselves, some time to think and reflect. If you think of exercise as some time to escape from everything, you may find yourself more motivated to do it.
So remember, treatments, procedures and pills can be very good if not essential in the short term. They are not however the key to natural homeostasis and wellness. Make it a long term goal to return to the basics, give yourself plenty of time to heal, sort out your emotions and eat, sleep and exercise right.
-- Ray D'Alonzo
** If you would like to share your comments, thoughts, or ideas with Ray, please send them to firstname.lastname@example.com. Due to the volume and nature of email received, individual responses are not possible. **
Ed. Note: The opinions expressed above are solely those of the author. They do not represent the opinions of the editor, publisher, or this publication. Mr. D'Alonzo is not a medical doctor and does not give medical advice. Anyone with a medical problem is strongly encouraged to seek professional medical care.


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For $169 per night, tuck in at a AAA 4-Diamond hotel surrounded by iconic film and television studios in Burbank. Fodor's says this property "feels like a Beverly Hills boutique hotel."
Save 20% on summer rates for travel Fridays-Sundays through Sept. 1. This deal includes:
For $50 more, kick back in a spacious one-bedroom suite featuring a full kitchenette and stand-up shower with separate tub.
The Hotel Amarano Burbank is a boutique property, just a short drive from Capitol Records, Warner Bros. Studios, Hollywood Boulevard and Universal Studios -- among other legendary Hollywood landmarks. Amenities include a saltwater pool complete with lounge chairs and cabanas, complimentary Wi-Fi in each room, and a sophisticated on-site restaurant and martini lounge.
Travelzoo Tip: Explore the summer highlights and special events found in Burbank, the "Town Behind the Tinsel."
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"...This is sheer delight. The chorus is spot on with its intonation and expression. The soloists are brilliant, balancing affect with technical virtuosity and ornamentation. The orchestra plays as if of a single mind, matching their ornamentation and articulation."
Peter Loewen - American Record Guide - September/October 2013
"... The choir is well-balanced and beautifully prepared, taking the character parts between them. The solo singers are experienced, and although their sound blends well with the choir, they are capable of dramatic accents as well as lyrical lines. This gives every promise of being a recording of an excellent as well as ground-breaking performance, and bodes well for the other recordings of Homilius' work using the textxs Uew Wolf has prepared for Carus which include a Christmas Oratorio and cantatas."
David Stancliffe - Early Music Review - August 2013
"...The Carus label has a strong commitment to the music of Homilius, and its recording of Homilius's Markuspassion has more strengths than weaknesses and goes a long way to explain its widespread acclaim in the 60 or so years after it was written ...I shall return to this recording with pleasure."
Andrew O'Connor - International Record Review - July/August 2013