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Claim: A girl freezes her naked ass to her date's car on their first (and last) date.
Example:[Collected on the Internet, 1999]
Origins: It is true that a guest on the Tonight Show did tell this story when Jay Leno went into the audience looking for "bad date" anecdotes. What is less clear, however, is if the incident described happened.
I think Jay Leno was hoaxed. And I think he went asking for it, too. But that's just one woman's opinion. Let me tell you how I arrived at it, though.
For quite a while, on the Tonight Show web site was a page soliciting those who've had nightmare dates to
That the possibility of a hoax exists isn't, by itself, proof of anything. But it does provide a bit of framework towards explaining how someone would get this opportunity, and it belies any notion that the girl just happened to be in the audience that night and hadn't previously thought of relating her tale of woe to anyone.
The telling arguments against this tall tail tale have to do with the mechanics of it. If caught in the position of needing to go but not having access to a toilet, most women would choose to squat beside the car. Less chance of being seen, after all, but it's also the position the vast majority would naturally adopt. It should be noted, however, that some rare women prefer to urinate standing up. It's not the norm, but they do exist.
Even if the heroine of this story were one of those rare women, there is still the problem of an erect urinator pissing on her clothes. Pants would be only pulled down, not entirely removed, because to do so would necessitate taking off the boots, something no one would think of doing while standing on the frozen tundra. Though it's possible to avoid pissing on what is bunched down around one's ankles when in a crouched position, all bets are off if standing. Gravity makes its own rules, after all. To have urinated standing up would have been to risk the overwhelming likelihood of having to afterwards pull on freshly pissed-upon pants. And this is not the kind of fashion statement one looks to make on the first date.
A warm body part could become fused to cold metal (and doubly so if either component is wet), but getting enough of a person's fundament firmly attached to the side of a car would take some doing. Even if it did become affixed, the large surface area of it would quickly work to
(For another "pissing to unstick the frozen" legend, see our Urine Good Hands legend.)
Even with all these improbabilities, the story still falls within the realm of possibility
Granted, if those cheeks were a bit damp and she managed to momentarily rest against a patch of naked metal that was just cold enough, she might leave a bit of skin behind even from this brief a contact. However, she would break loose — there's no doubt about that. Now if our heroine still chose to lean up against the car after either a cold goosing or a skin ripping, it would take an act of God to prevent her from this time resting her mittened hands on the fender and her bum against them.
Most damning of all, however, is the nature of car fenders themselves. They're painted. Though it's possible to freeze a tongue to the unpainted metal of playground equipment, all bets are off if the structures have been painted, shellac'd, or otherwise coated.
Could a bare butt become stuck to the side of a car? I don't think so. And I just don't believe dating behavior has changed that much in the few years I've been away from it to allow for anyone's trying to do this.
Barbara "bum's rush" Mikkelson
Last updated: 3 July 2007
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When I was a little kid, my cousin and I set up a produce stand in front of my grandparents' house. Splayed out on an uneven card table, we offered a variety of bruised, battered, and misshapen produce. From an oblong cantaloupe to a nicked-up watermelon, our "stand" carried the bounty of my grandfather's patch of land, located somewhere on the Island of Misfit Fruit. My grandmother bought the cantaloupe, the watermelon ended up being thrown at my head, and we closed up shop after two hours of intense dumbf**kery.
I tell you this because my own experience suggests that (a) children are neither cute nor intelligent and (b) kids' efforts to make money selling stuff are always doomed to failure. And so it was that a band of towheaded tykes got jacked by county officials when they attempted to sell lemonade and other beverages outside the Congressional Country Club golf course, site of this year's U.S. Open. The kids were fined $500 by the Montgomery County Department of Permitting, for operating without a license.
Let's go to the tape….
A couple things about this video. First, children are terrible. Second, parents are worse.
On top of mugging for every camera in a vain attempt to be cast in the next iteration of The Real Housewives of D.C., the women hyperventilated to every news outlet they could find. One story about the incident quotes an angry mother as saying, "What happened to the entrepreneurial spirit of this country? This is the American dream."
Communism, mostly. Communism happened. As far as children selling lemonade being the American dream… nope. The American dream has something to do with nasty sex, millions of dollars, and no repercussions. Children selling lemonade is merely some Norman Rockwell horses**t that makes little to no sense. [FN1]
Por ejemplo, why lemonade? Who decided that lemonade would be the iconic beverage of choice for little grifters to peddle? I don't hate lemonade, but I can think of 37 different beverages I'd rather pound in the heat. I'd have more sympathy for these kids if they had expanded their liquid horizons and set up a horchata stand. Because horchata is delicious.
Now, before you get the vapors over my cynicism, know that everything worked out okay for Blondie et al. The county ended up rescinding the fine and merely asked that the children move their lemonade stand down the road. Also, the kids ended up forgoing any profits and planned (at least as long as the nattering nabobs were around) to give all proceeds to charity. Rory McIlroy destroyed the course at Congressional, people walking to the venue got to buy bottled cliches from a "stand," and not a single child was forced to go Galt.
[FN1] I, perhaps, gave short shrift to the cultural importance of lemonade stands. According to this article, they have a long and proud history dating back to the 1870s. They were, like, the thing back then. Also, I did play Lemonade Stand on my Apple II as a kid. That game taught me that rain sucked and my parents should buy a better computer. I should be compiling a privilege log today, but I think I'll edit the Wikipedia entry on lemonade stands instead. #thuglife
Montco Allows Kids' Lemonade Stand to Stay Open [NBC Washington]
Lemonade stand draws attention [ESPN]
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Memorial Service for teacher hit and killed by car
HENRYETTA, Okla. - Family and friends will honor the life of Mary Beth Kafer at a memorial service scheduled for 10:00 a.m. on Friday at St. Michael's Church in Henryetta.
Authorities in Okmulgee County are investigating Kafer's death after she was run over by a vehicle.
Mary Beth Kafer was a teacher at Glenpool Public Schools. She taught there for 26 years. A note was sent home Monday alerting parents about her death. Then Tuesday, grief counselors were on hand for students and teachers.
The school released the following statement:
Our thoughts are with Mrs. Kafer's family, especially her children, all of whom graduated from our school. The family has many friends and support from this school. Mrs. Kafer will be missed.


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Comfort Food Redo: Vegan Mac and Cheese
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You can be dairy-free and cozy up with a bowl of mac and cheese — try this vegan version from LA's M Café. Loaded with extra veggies, like arugula, along with fresh herbs, this dish serves up big flavor while keeping it vegan. Watch this video for the recipe and then whip up a batch today.


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It's no secret that MMOs are one of the most volatile and difficult sectors of the gaming market to get a foothold in. For every Guild Wars 2, there's a dozen failed attempts to pull together an online community around a game.
Fortunately for future MMO developers, the University of Buffalo has a few suggestions to help them along.
Lawrence Sanders, co-author of the study, has two key strategies. The first is to give players more "ownership" and control of their character inside the game, which includes making it possible for anybody to come out on top in a battle. The more players feel that they are genuinely in control of their fates, instead of getting their Level 1 starting character stomped by a Level 80 griefer, the more likely they are to keep playing.
Secondly, Sanders found that encouraging cooperative between players meant a stronger social identity. In other words, if you make friends, you're more likely to stick around.
Our Take: Sanders' study is worth highlighting for two reasons: One, it's an approach at gaming from an economic and management perspective, which is relatively rare in academia. And two, as Sanders himself notes, it's not yet another study about how gaming is as bad for you as inhaling hamburgers.
University of Buffalo: Level Up!


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APPLETON, Wis. - Two Minnesota women have been extradited to Wisconsin to face charges in a 2007 shooting death.
WBAY-TV reports 34-year-old Kandi Siveny and 38-year-old Rosie Campbell were brought to Outagamie County from two separate jails in Minnesota Thursday afternoon.
Siveny and Campbell, along with Siveny's mother, Dianna Siveny, are accused in the shooting death of 30-year-old Lara Plamann. The victim's body was found in a shed near the home she shared with partner Dianna Siveny in Greenville.
A criminal complaint says Campbell told authorities recently that she watched Kandi Siveny kill Plamann for her mother, who thought Plamann was cheating on her.
(Copyright 2013 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.)


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Amazon Exclusive: Gary Vaynerchuk on The Thank You Economy
The Thank You Economy is much more than saying "thank you." The Thank You Economy represents a much bigger movement. This book could easily have been called The Humanization of Business or Manners Marketing.
I feel that we're living through the biggest culture shift of our time. The internet, itself, is 17-years-old. It's just hitting the social part of its life. It's just like growing up. As you get to 13, 14 and 15, you want to go out and go to parties. That's what's happening right now! The internet is growing up.
What happens when we live in this word of mouth world where we're tweeting out "I love Company X's orange juice"? We're sharing thoughts that we never would have picked up the phone and called somebody about in the past. What happens when brands can be humanized? In The Thank You Economy, I tackle the issue of the ROI of social media and provide case studies. I think we wrote a much, much stronger book than I did with Crush It. When I say we, I mean the people in the social graph--the people that are living it.
There is enormous ROI in social media. It's like my famous saying though, "What's the ROI of your mother?" The data isn't as black and white like it has been in the past. I firmly believe that the brands that have a soul and a heart and understand how to scale this will win.
This is a comprehensive book from a guy that has lived in the social space for the last 6 years like I have. I live and breathe my community and I've been able to consult with big brands for the past two years on how to leverage this world of caring. This is the perfect book, not only for entrepreneurs who might have an employee or two, but also for brand managers and CMOs at bigger companies.
If this were 1923, this book would have been called "Why Radio Is Going to Change the Game" . . .
If it were 1995, it would be "Why Amazon Is Going to Take Over the Retailing World" . . .
The Thank You Economy is about something big, something greater than any single revolutionary platform. It isn't some abstract concept or wacky business strategy—it's real, and every one of us is doing business in it every day, whether we choose to recognize it or not. It's the way we communicate, the way we buy and sell, the way businesses and consumers interact online and offline. The Internet, where the Thank You Economy was born, has given consumers back their voice, and the tremendous power of their opinions via social media means that companies and brands have to compete on a whole different level than they used to.
Gone are the days when a blizzard of marketing dollars could be used to overwhelm the airwaves, shut out the competition, and grab customer awareness. Now customers' demands for authenticity, originality, creativity, honesty, and good intent have made it necessary for companies and brands to revert to a level of customer service rarely seen since our great-grandparents' day, when business owners often knew their customers personally, and gave them individual attention.
Here renowned entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk reveals how companies big and small can scale that kind of personal, one-on-one attention to their entire customer base, no matter how large, using the same social media platforms that carry consumer word of mouth. The Thank You Economy offers compelling, data-driven evidence that we have entered into an entirely new business era, one in which the companies that see the biggest returns won't be the ones that can throw the most money at an advertising campaign, but will be those that can prove they care about their customers more than anyone else. The businesses and brands that harness the word-of-mouth power from social media, those that can shift their culture to be more customer-aware and fan-friendly, will pull away from the pack and profit in today's markets.
Filled with Vaynerchuk's irrepressible candor and wit, as well as real-world examples of companies that are profiting by putting Thank You Economy principles into practice, The Thank You Economy reveals how businesses can harness all the changes and challenges inherent in social media and turn them into tremendous opportunities for profit and growth.See all Editorial Reviews
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Gary V is an amazing person and he gets right to the point his books help get you over that hump and really create a positive outlook on the ventures you will takePublished 2 months ago by Brandon Patino
The book worth buying in 2015 even though it was written 4 years ago. Takeaway for business owners: never forget that your customers carry smartphones and many of them are very... Read morePublished 2 months ago by Andrew Cherkashin
This was a great read: interesting and entertaining--definitely worth reading.Published 4 months ago by Josh
This book is a great addition to common sense success in treating your customers that every business person should read and practice. Read morePublished 5 months ago by Harry E Swank
What a life changer! Absolutely brilliant (how do you spell brilliant?)Published 5 months ago by Sebastian Cielenski
If you don't yet know who he is, I recommend being a follower of @garyvee because of a combination of his drive, knowledge, tenacity, swagger, ability to both articulate his... Read morePublished 5 months ago by Ivan Raiklin
If you own a business, or offer any product or service, this is an invaluable resource. I truly believe in Gary V's philosophy on making social media and every aspect of your... Read morePublished 5 months ago by Katie Casey
Excellent book! Gary is an eye-opener for all seeking to thrive in today's digital economy.Published 6 months ago by Terry McGuire


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Supplemental Option - 12 CPEs
Documented Work Experience
Limit 12 CPEs per certification renewal (maximum of 6 CPEs per year)
- Work experience documentation must be completed after the two year mark of your certification to demonstrate ongoing competency.
- To qualify, your primary job duties must be related to Information Assurance within the final two years of the original certification period.
- You must provide contact information of your work supervisors and documentation of your job description and duties performed (such as a resume)
- Pro-rated. If you have only worked in Information assurance for 12 of the final 24 months of your certification period, then you qualify for 6 CPEs. If you've worked in Information Assurance for 6 months, you would earn 3 CPEs.
Please contact email@example.com


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- Filed Under
I read the Aug. 6 Hattiesburg American story, "Settlement update expected: Black farmers wait for $1.2B payment." Those numbers given such as $1.2 billion to be given 18,000 black farmers may look good to some, not me.
My family and other Hinds County Mississippians I know are in the group that was rejected. The guidelines required proof of applying for a loan and being denied by the Department of Agriculture.
Let's be realistic about this. Blacks before the '60s and after were turned away from offices and told not to return. Some applications, no ...


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Christopher Moran, MD, is an attending physician in the MGHfC Pediatric Gastroenterology & Nutrition unit and MGHfC Pediatric Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) Center. His research interests focus are the genetics of very early onset IBD.
BiographyChristopher J. Moran, MD, is an attending physician who treats patients in the MassGeneral Hospital for Children Pediatric Gastroenterology & Nutrition unit and the MassGeneral Hospital for Children Pediatric Inflammatory Bowel Disease Center. He is also an associate director of the Pediatric GI Fellowship Program at MassGeneral Hospital for Children.
His research interests include the genetics of very early onset inflammatory bowel disease.
ResearchIdentification of Genetic Variants by Whole Exome Sequencing in Very Early Onset Inflammatory Bowel Disease
Comprehensive Analysis of Genetic Variation in Children with Inflammatory Bowel Disease
Determining the Role of Interleukin-10 Receptor Polymorphisms in Early-Onset Inflammatory Bowel Disease
Correlation of Histopathology with Disease Course in Pediatric Inflammatory Bowel Disease
Genetic Determinants of Therapy Response in Pediatric Inflammatory Bowel Disease
View my most recent publications at PubMedMoran CJ, Kolman OK, Russell GJ, Brown IS, Mino-Kenudson M. "Neutrophilic infiltration in gluten sensitive enteropathy is neither uncommon nor insignificant: assessmenet of duodenal biopsies from 267 pediatric and adult patients. Am J Surg Path 2012 Sep;36(9):1339-1345.
Dr. Moran is a pediatric gastroenterologist who practices clinically in the Pediatric Inflammatory Bowel Disease Programs at MassGeneral Hospital for Children and Newton Wellesley Hospital. He conducts clinical and basic science research to better understand the cause of inflammatory bowel disease (IBD).
This course is designed to meet one or more of the following Accreditation Council of Graduate Medical Education competencies: Patient care; Medical knowledge; Practice-based learning and improvement; Interpersonal and communication skills; Professionalism; Systems-based practice
Experts from the MassGeneral Hospital for Children will discuss commonly encountered issues in daily pediatric practice at this full-day live course in Dedham, MA.
Phone: 617-726-8705
Phone 2: 781-466-8967
Fax: 617-643-2384
Phone: 617-726-8705
Phone 2: 781-466-8967
Fax: 617-643-2384
You can see MassGeneral for Children specialists in more than a dozen locations throughout Eastern Massachusetts and Southern New Hampshire.
Contact MassGeneral Hospital for Children to schedule an appointment with one of our specialists.
Referring a patient to MassGeneral Hospital for Children is easy.


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Racine, WI (PRWEB) January 22, 2013
A 35 year jewelry insider with restricted access to a wide array of highly specialized fine jewelry closeouts has launched TrueWholesaleJewelry.com to remove layers of markups and overhead that add dramatically to the final price of a piece of jewelry.
"When you see the video comparing prices on identical items found at well-known retailers and on our website, it's almost hard to believe that such differences could be possible," said Michael Marshall, co-owner of TrueWholesaleJewelry.com - Click Here For Price Comparison Video
Most consumers have seen jewelry store commercials pitching 75% off sales, and most folks understand jewelry markups are quite high, but to make a profit on a 75% off sale, an initial markup of least 400% above cost is required, before even figuring for expensive ads, rent, employees, insurance, utilities and more. Paying such large markups is no longer prudent or necessary.
Instead of buying jewelry from a retailer who bought it from a wholesaler who bought it from a manufacturer with several steps of markup and overhead along the way... you can now buy directly from TrueWholesaleJewelry.com who is one of a handful of specialized buyers who purchase closeouts and overstock from the major manufacturers at prices below what it actually costs them to make the items.
But don't feel bad for the manufacturers selling their closeouts at a small loss, as they figure it all into their pricing structure from day one. They know they must agree to produce minimum amounts and take back certain percentages if they want to keep the major retailers as customers. Rapidly liquidating excess inventory is a pre-calculated cost of doing business.
To the
|Source: PRWeb
Copyright©2012 Vocus, Inc.
All rights reserved


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Gospel music workshop and concert February 7
The 13th Annual Gospel Music Workshop and Concert will take place Saturday, February 7 at Valley Shepherd Church of the Nazarene in Meridian. The workshop will start at 8:30 a.m. and will conclude with an evening concert beginning at 7 p.m., free admission.
The workshop and concert are co-sponsored by the Treasure Valley Council for Church and Social Action and Northwest Nazarene University. This occasion begins African American History Month. Experienced gospel musicians, such as Tim & Sharon Poston, Sherral McCall, and Dion Williams, will serve as the workshop clinicians. Vocalists of all ages and skill levels are welcome to attend.
The workshop registration is $25 for adults and $20 for students. For more information, contact Paula Rogers at (208) 467-8768 or visit www.mvcommunityfellowship.org.


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Clip From
September 21, 2012 Senate Session
Brothers in Ormus
A prayer for the Senate to legislate accordingly with our Brothers In Arms 09-21-12
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Senators John McCain (R-AZ), Lindsey Graham (R-SC), Kelly Ayotte (R-NH) and Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) held a press…
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Senate Session, Part 2


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- Reports (6)
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For eBusiness & Channel Strategy Professionals
Report:Welcome To The Era Of Agile Commerce
Multichannel commerce is being reborn. Traditional ways of describing multichannel commerce no longer work because customers don't interact with companies from a "channel" perspective. Customers now...
- Downloads: 4178
For eBusiness & Channel Strategy Professionals
Report:European Online Retail: Five Trends To Watch In 2012
European eBusiness Executives Strive To Give Their Customers Choice And Flexibility Across The Purchase Journey
European shoppers are becoming increasingly web-savvy and are turning to a wider range of touchpoints as they research and buy products online and offline. In response, eBusiness executives across...
- Downloads: 873
For eBusiness & Channel Strategy Professionals
Report:French Online Retail Overview, 2012
French Online Retail Is On The Brink Of A Multichannel Revolution
France is the third largest online retail market in Europe; although it will continue to mature and grow at a pace outstripping overall retail growth, there are significant changes in store for...
- Downloads: 622
For eBusiness & Channel Strategy Professionals
Report:Agile Commerce Is Coming Of Age For European Retailers
No Matter What Their Maturity, European eBusiness Success Will Hinge On An Effective Cross-Touchpoint Strategy
The most visionary European multichannel retailers are beginning their transformation toward agile commerce and are reaching out to their customers on new touchpoints — mobile, social, etc....
- Downloads: 445
For eBusiness & Channel Strategy Professionals
Report:German Online Retail Overview, 2011
Despite A Thriving Online Market, Multichannel Retail Is Still An Untapped Opportunity For German Retailers
The German online retail market is the second largest in Europe. Amazon.de and eBay are dominant forces, with major German consumer brands selling through those sites, and others following suit...
- Downloads: 740
For eBusiness & Channel Strategy Professionals
Report:Case Study: How Marks And Spencer Uses Online Video To Boost eCommerce
Online video is a success story. Next to the usage of social networking sites, watching online videos is one of the most used social media tools. Many companies have wondered how they can tap into...
- Downloads: 644


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P140M environmental damage suit filed vs 2 shipping firms-A A +A
Thursday, August 14, 2014
CORDOVA Mayor Adelino Sitoy and fisherfolk organizations filed Thursday a petition asking the two companies whose ships collided a year ago and caused an oil spill to pay US$3 million for the cleanup and restoration of the town's damaged marine environment.
They also asked the Mandaue City Regional Trial Court (RTC) Branch 28, an environmental court, to order the 2G0 Group Inc. and the Philippine Span Asia Carrier Corp. (PSACC) to pay P81 million in damages to the Municipal Government and to the more than 3,000 members of the Pundok sa Mananagat sa Cordova.
Apart from the shipping firms, the Department of Environment and Natural Resources (DENR), the Maritime Industry Authority (Marina) and the Philippine Coast Guard (PCG) were included in the complaint.
"Atong giapil ang mga ahensiya sa gobyerno aron mulihok sila (We included these government agencies so they will take action)," Sitoy told reporters Thursday.
Insurance money
2Go Group's passenger ship mv St. Thomas Aquinas and PSACC's cargo vessel mv Sulpicio Express Siete collided in the waters off Talisay City on August 16 last year. The ferry sank, killing more than 100 passengers.
About 100,000 liters of oil from the sunken ship leaked, damaging 328 hectares of mangroves and forcing residents in 13 coastal barangays to stop fishing and gleaning activities for two months.
Pedro Eredera, 34, president of the Pundok sa Mananagat sa Cordova, said he and other fishermen have yet to fully recover although they have gone back to fishing.
Some fishes they catch are not as good anymore, he said.
The petition asked RTC Branch 38 Judge Mercedita Dadole-Ygnacio to issue a temporary environmental protection order and/or a writ of continuing mandamus for the creation of a special fund that will be used for cleanup and restoration activities.
The fund will be sourced by Marina from the mandatory protection and indemnity insurance of the two shipping companies in the amount of US$ 3 million, or roughly P140 million.
Lawyer Benjamin Cabrido, whose law firm represents the fisherfolks, said Marina issued a circular in 2009 requiring shipping firms to secure protection and indemnity insurance of US$1.5 million each.
No comment
Although the circular has been suspended, the Marina Board has not revoked it, said Cabrido.
The 2Go Group refused to comment Thursday, saying it still awaits a copy of the complaint.
The Municipal Government and the fisherfolks also asked that the court to order the creation of a commission composed of DENR, Marina, PCG and the Municipal Government to make an action plan to prevent further degradation of the marine environment.
The commission will be tasked to find out the volume of oil left inside the sunken ship and create a nursery for mangrove seedlings for replanting.
A temporary environmental protection order will compel the shipping companies and National Government agencies to carry out the tasks within three days or else they will be cited in contempt by the court, Cabrido said.
Criminal plaint
He added that the Municipal Government and the fisherfolks will be forced to file a criminal complaint if the shipping firms and the government agencies will ignore their demands.
Sitoy said the Municipal Government was forced to file a civil case because the two companies kept passing the burden of rehabilitating the marine ecosystem and helping affected residents to the other.
"We tried to negotiate. We tried to settle this outside of court, but we have not seen the horizon of any settlement. We have no other recourse but go to the court," he said.
In its formal demand letter dated February 11, 2014, the Municipal Government asked for P78,645,000 for damages suffered by fishermen in 13 barangays; P5,124,000 for damages suffered by the vendors of Pilipog Tulay Market; and P1,381,622.83 for damages suffered by livelihood projects of People's Organizations.
On October 1, 2013, the DENR issued a letter demanding the shipping firms to pay P5,935,000 for the damaged newly planted mangroves in Cordova and P35,769,600 for the damaged productive mangroves.
In their reply letters, both shipping companies denied responsibility for the damages.
Mass offerings
Cabrido said the total amount the Municipal Government and the fisherfolk organizations are demanding from shipping companies will reach more than P200 million.
Sitoy said he does not consider the cash-for-work implemented by the 2Go Group for the affected residents as payment for the damages. "Suhol to uy, dili tabang (That was wage they gave, not assistance)," he said.
Meanwhile, the 2Go Group will commemorate the August 16 collision by holding a mass at 3 p.m. in its office and blessing the tombs of the victims in the Carreta Cemetery.
Candles and flowers will also be offered.
Masses will also be offered in nine churches, including the Cebu Metropolitan Cathedral, Basilica del Sto. Nino and Sacred Heart of Jesus Parish.
The company has held a nine-day novena mass at the Cebu Metropolitan Cathedral starting last August 8. (Sun.Star Cebu)
Published in the Sun.Star Cebu newspaper on August 15, 2014.
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Posts Tagged 'H8R Ratings'
May 19th, 2011 at 10:15 am
Watch the Preview Videos for CW's New Series 'Ringer,' 'Secret Circle,' 'Hart of Dixie' and 'H8R'
Here are the CW previews for the new series for the 2011-12 season. If these don't work for our international friends, search[Read-More]
May 19th, 2011 at 6:13 am
CW 2011-12 Primetime Schedule Announced - 'Nikita' Moves to Fridays, '90210' to Tuesdays
'90210' moves to Tuesdays, 'Nikita' to Fridays. 'One Tree Hill' held for midseason.[Read-More]
May 17th, 2011 at 12:33 pm
Updated: CW Picks Up Two More Dramas: "Hart of Dixie" and "Secret Circle"
Ringer now officially picked up as well.[Read-More]


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Apple has issued a statement regarding a widespread problem causing iPhones to respring/reboot out of the blue. The company says it has a fix prepared and it will be included in an upcoming update.
Reports of these random crashes or (sometimes) full reboots started trickling in around September 2013, not long after iOS 7 rolled out to the public.
At first it seemed only iPhone 5 customers were affected, but it soon became apparent that users of other iPhone models were also experiencing the sudden crashes.
Apple has failed to address the issue across several incremental updates (iOS 7.0.1, 7.0.2, 7.0.3, and 7.0.4) despite numerous such reports appearing on the company's forums.
For example, a thread titled "iPhone 5 with iOS 7 randomly shuts off" currently has over 90K views attributed to it and 250 replies, with no formal input from Apple on any of the 17 pages comprising the discussion.
Apple spokesperson Trudy Muller now tells Mashable, "We have a fix in an upcoming software update for a bug that can occasionally cause a home screen crash."
Better late than never.
The company is known to be testing an iOS 7.1 internally and is at the fourth beta this week, with two more reportedly being planned ahead of the public launch. The final version of the software is allegedly set for March.
Trudy Muller admittedly doesn't specify which future software update will address the random reboot flaw, but considering the urgency of the matter, Apple will have no choice but to squeeze the patch inside iOS 7.1.
Many other fixes and visual tweaks have already made their way inside the betas, giving us a good idea of what the update will be all about. Apple is also expected to flip the switch on iOS in the Car integration with the release of iOS 7.1. More in the related links below.


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The Magazine
Reston-Broder Syndrome Claims Victim
From the Scrapbook.
Jul 23, 2012, Vol. 17, No. 42 • By THE SCRAPBOOK
Dana Milbank is a Washington Post columnist whose progressive politics and world-weary posture have earned him coveted berths in the Post's opinion and news pages. The Scrapbook wishes him the best. But The Scrapbook is also worried that, at 44, Milbank is showing signs of early-onset Reston-Broder Syndrome.
Dana Milbank
This is a mood disorder, primarily confined to members of the press, which manifests itself by repeated assertions that political conditions cannot possibly be worse than they are at present, and that there was once a Golden Age to which the sufferer would like to return.
The syndrome, not yet recognized by the American Psychiatric Association, is named for the late David Broder of the Post, who liked to write about the good old days when Democrats and Republicans appeared to have no political or personal differences, and the late James Reston of the New York Times, who was forever in pursuit of younger, fresher, self-evidently better political leadership.
The Scrapbook remembers its first exposure to Reston-Broder Syndrome in the late 1950s, when Reston would habitually complain to the Times that the political leadership of the West was geriatric, sclerotic, and embarrassing. Of course, it should be remembered that he was talking about such geriatric, sclerotic, and embarrassing leaders as Dwight D. Eisenhower, Harold Macmillan, Konrad Adenauer, and Charles de Gaulle—and, presumably, yearning for young John F. Kennedy and Lyndon B. Johnson. Beginning in the 1980s, Broder would routinely hark back to those near-perfect days on Capitol Hill (the 1950s?) when Democrats and Republicans would enjoy a whiskey together at the end of the day—and Democrats commanded prohibitive majorities in both House and Senate.
The Scrapbook sensed the telltale signs of Reston-Broder Syndrome last week when Milbank wrote a column in which he lamented the practice of Senate Republicans of dissenting from the views of their Democratic colleagues. After consultation with "senators and veteran Capitol Hill correspondents," he swiftly realized what ails the Senate: "There are no giants in the chamber today," he wrote. No Edward Kennedys, no Robert Byrds.
The Scrapbook will refrain from repeating the sordid details of Teddy Kennedy's public (and private) career, but that Milbank believes the U.S. Senate suffers from the absence of Bobby Byrd suggests that his Reston-Broder symptoms are dangerously advanced. Byrd, who died two summers ago, was an especially unattractive officeholder who began his career as a ranking member of the Ku Klux Klan in his native West Virginia, and ended it (at 93) as the longest-serving senator in history. Between those two landmarks he managed to oppose the two African-American nominees to the Supreme Court, as well as the 1964 Civil Rights Act; and, as longtime chairman of the Appropriations Committee, devoted himself almost exclusively to shipping federal dollars to the aforementioned West Virginia, where innumerable taxpayer-financed structures bear his name.
It is true that the relative age of the Senate is younger than, say, a decade ago, and the chamber is dominated by a new generation. It is also true that nearly half of today's senators are freshmen. But is this, by any definition, a bad thing? Milbank seems to confuse advanced age and prolonged tenure with distinction, and surely forgets that even Teddy Kennedy and Bobby Byrd were young once.
Indeed, The Scrapbook is reminded of a story Harold Macmillan liked to tell about an ancient parliamentarian who, in Macmillan's youth, complained to him about the absence of giants in the House of Commons: "They're all gone now, my boy, all gone . . . Palmerston, Disraeli, Gladstone, Salisbury. . . . All gone. . . . And I'm not feeling so well myself."
Big Labor's Big Money
For the last few weeks the Obama campaign has been sending out urgent fundraising appeals highlighting the fact that Mitt Romney outraised them by $30 million last month. "That translates into a
potentially devastating sweep of negative, misleading messaging that's going to flood the airwaves in swing states," read the most recent Obama email to land in The Scrapbook's inbox. (Oddly, the email neglected to mention the Obama campaign has significantly outspent the Romney campaign in swing state advertising.) While the desperation here is real, let's not kid ourselves: The Obama campaign will not be outspent in this election.
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Quotes & Info
|SFPI > SEC Filings for SFPI > Form 10-Q/A on 15-Nov-2012
|All Recent SEC Filings
Quarterly Report
We are a development stage oil and gas company led by an experienced management team and focused on production of oil and natural gas. Our business plan is to acquire oil and gas properties for appraisal and development. Through the Land Bank arrangement and similar arrangements, we plan to gain control over substantial oil and gas prospects, which will be acquired from the Land Bank(s) from time to time as we are prepared to begin our appraisal and drilling operations on specific leases. We will employ strict selection guidelines for our projects including but not limited to 1) priority to projects with near term cash flow potential, pay-back period, quantity and quality of oil and gas reserves and utilizing premier oilfield services and engineering firms in analyzing and conducting our operations. Until we form a subsidiary that is qualified to be the operator under our oil and gas leases, an affiliated company will act as contract operator.
In 1997 our chairman of the board, Tom Griffin, established Santa Fe Petroleum, LLC, a Texas limited liability company engaged in oil and gas operations ("SFP2") that subsequently ceased operations and forfeited its status with the Texas Secretary of State in 2006. In 2010, Mr. Griffin formed a new entity, SFP, as a business to engage in oil and gas exploration and production. SFP2 drilled 25 vertical and horizontal wells in East Texas and achieved significant aggregate returns for investors in those projects. As of the date of this Form 8-K/A, SFP is a holding company with no oil and gas operations, and we have no ownership in the prior business or wells drilled in East Texas. In December 2009 that business drilled the Test Well on a 76-acre lease in the Bend Arch-Fort Worth Basin in Texas. Baker Hughes, a top-tier oilfield services company, interpreted the logs and Weatherford Laboratories, who is engaged in all facets of rock and fluid analysis for the purpose of evaluating hydrocarbon resources around the world, analyzed the core samples. The Baker Hughes log interpretation report at the Test Well site was based on an 80-acre project. The side-wall core samples were taken every two feet beginning a few feet below the Barnett Shale in the Ellenberger formation and above the Barnett Shale a few feet in the Marble Falls formation. The results show oil exists in a porous, 101-feet-thick blanket formation with the top of the formation at the initial test-well location at a depth of approximately 2,600 feet below the surface. In order to exploit this opportunity, Mr. Griffin and the investors in the Test Well formed SFO, a Texas corporation, in 2011. SFO's wholly owned subsidiary, SFL, which was originally incorporated in Texas in 2009, owns the 76-acre oil and gas lease and the Test Well. Aside from acquiring the Test Well and associated leases, SFO and SFL have not conducted any operations and have not begun oil and gas production from the Test Well. As a result of the Exchange on May 10, 2012, SFO and SFL became our wholly owned subsidiaries..
The Company believes that for the foreseeable future, the world will be highly dependent on oil and natural gas. Currently, alternative fuels are far more expensive than fossil fuels and because of the politically unstable conditions of many of the energy producing regions of the world, the Company believes that oil and natural gas will remain a key yet volatile component of the world's future energy requirements. Additionally, with the ever increasing world demand for energy, the domestic production of oil and gas will play an even greater role in America's future then it already has to date.
Recent Events
Effective July 10, 2012, the Company dismissed Weinberg & Baer LLC ("Weinberg") as the Registrant's certifying accountants. The Registrant's Board of Directors approved this action. The reports of Weinberg on the Registrant's financial statements for each of the fiscal years ended December 31, 2011 and 2010 and the interim period ended March 31, 2012 contained no adverse opinion or disclaimer of opinion and were not qualified or modified as to uncertainty, audit scope or accounting principles, except that their report expressed substantial doubt as to the Registrants ability to continue as a going concern.
On July 10, 2012, the Company engaged Rothstein Kass as its new independent accountant. The Registrant's Board of Directors approved this action. The decision to dismiss Weinberg and to engage Rothstein Kass was based on the Registrant's business plan for the acquisition, exploration and development of oil and gas properties.
On August 7, 2012, the Registrant announced that they have retained the services of Steven Crane to serve as the interim Chief Operating Officer of the Company. Mr. Crane is the Managing Partner of ProOperate LLC, a professional operations management firm based in Dallas, Texas. Mr. Crane possesses over thirty years of broad-based strategic operations and financial management experience beginning his career with PricewaterhouseCoopers, serving clients in the energy and oil production industry. Mr. Crane is assisting the Company with its transition from a privately-held to a publicly-traded corporation, with its capital structure and funding, and in the implementation of its plans for future growth.
The Board of Directors of the Registrant approved the retention of Mr. Crane's services as interim Chief Operating Officer effective July 10, 2012.
Results of operations
The Company is in the development stage and has not obtained revenue under its business plan.
Operating Expenses:
Operating expenses increased $146,966, or 108%, to $283,238 for six months ended
June 30, 2012 from $136,272 for period from May 11, 2011 (commencement of
operations) through June 30, 2011. Operating expenses increased $33,831, or 25%,
to $170,103 for three months ended June 30, 2012 from $136,272 for period from
May 11, 2011 (commencement of operations) through June 30, 2011. The Company
operating expenses have been primarily accrued compensation and professional
(legal) related to completing the Share Exchange and becoming a publicly traded company.
Capital Commitments, Capital Resources and Liquidity
Capital commitments. The Company's primary needs for cash are (i) to fund drilling and development costs associated with well development within its leasehold properties, (ii) the further acquisition of additional leasehold assets, and iii), the payment of contractual obligations and working capital obligations. Initially, funding for these cash needs will be provided by the sale of equity from a $5 million private placement memorandum. Subsequently, this will be supplemented by a combination of internally-generated cash flows from operations and equity and or debt financing sources.
Capital resources and liquidity. The Company's primary capital resources from May 11, 2011 (commencement of operations) through June 30, 2012, have been from funds provided by affiliated related parties. We believe that funds from our $5 million private placement memorandum of common stock should be sufficient to meet both our short-term working capital requirements and our 12 month capital expenditure plans.
Cash flow from operating activities. The Company had no cash flow from operating activities for the six and three months ended June 30, 2012 and for the period from May 11, 2011 (commencement of operations) through June 30, 2011.
Cash flow used in investing activities. The Company had no cash flow from investing activities for the six and three months ended June 30, 2012 and for the period from May 11, 2011 (commencement of operations) through June 30, 2011.
Cash flow from financing activities. The Company had no cash flow from financing activities for the six and three months ended June 30, 2012 and for the period from May 11, 2011 (commencement of operations) through June 30, 2011.
Liquidity. At June 30, 2012 and December 31, 2011, the Company had no cash and cash equivalents, a working capital deficit of $701,247 and a deficit accumulated during the development stage of $824,828.
A critical component of our operating plan is the ability to obtain additional capital through additional equity or debt financing. We do not believe that existing capital and anticipated funds from operations will be sufficient to execute our strategic plan during 2012 without either equity or debt financing. We have engaged an investment bank to raise up to $5 million in a private placement of our common stock. We believe that the $5 million of funding will provide sufficient capital to conduct our business plan over the next twelve months. We cannot ensure that financing will be available in amounts or on terms acceptable to us, if at all, and failure to secure the necessary financing could have a significant impact on our ability to continue as a going concern. We plan to seek additional capital in the future to fund growth and expansion through additional equity or debt financing. No assurance can be made that such financing will be available.
As discussed previously, we intend to purchase leases from the Land Banks pursuant to the Lease Acquisition Agreements. The source of funds for the Initial Payment will be from the anticipated closing of the Company's current $5 million private placement.
We anticipate incurring operating losses over the next twelve months. Our lack of operating history makes predictions of future operating results difficult to ascertain. Our prospects must be considered in light of the risks, expenses, and difficulties frequently encountered by companies in their early stage of development, particularly companies in the oil and gas exploration industry. To address these risks we must, among other things, implement and successfully execute our business strategy. There can be no assurance that we will be successful in addressing such risks, and the failure to do so can have a material adverse effect on our business prospects, financial condition, and results of operations.


text: Other Festivals! May 13, 2011 6:02:01 GMT -8 Quote Select PostDeselect PostLink to PostMemberGive GiftBack to Top Post by wompwomp on May 13, 2011 6:02:01 GMT -8 ugh...boonstock. I have a free ticket and I'm probably still not going to go. Sublime is my nightmare. I can't even begin to imagine the meatheads that will go to that fest.Although that dance tent is really sick....Not going to lie I love me some LMFAO.


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Archive for 2013
February 8th, 2013 at 8:03 am
TBS Orders Pilot for 'Do It Yourself', New Sitcom from Walt Becker and Rob Long
TBS has ordered a pilot for Do It Yourself, a new sitcom from executive producers and creators Walt Becker (Wild Hogs, Van[Read-More]
February 8th, 2013 at 7:43 am
Top Athletes Featued in New 'Agentes De Cambio' Camapign to Promote Sports for Developmemt
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Destination America's New Special 'The Paranormal Project' Seeks to Capture Real Paranormal Activity
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Phil Mickelson Looks to Defend Title as CBS Sports Broadcasts Third and Final-Round Coverage of AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am on February 9-10
CBS Sports travels to the picturesque Monterey Peninsula to cover the AT&T PEBBLE BEACH NATIONAL PRO-AM, contested at the world renowned Pebble[Read-More]
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MTV to Air a 'Ridiculousness' Marathon Starting February 8 at Midnight - Video
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comments sponsored by
Biglaw, King & Spalding, Magic Circle, Money, Musical Chairs, Partner Profits, S.D.N.Y., U.S. Attorneys Offices
New Partners:
* Sullivan & Cromwell: Jeffrey Chapman, Michael Escue, Hydee Feldstein, Stacey Friedman, Brian Hamilton, Julia Jordan, Eric Kadel, Jr. and Juan Rodriguez.
The partnership promotions will be effective January 1, 2007. Congratulations, kids!
Like many other top New York firms, Sullivan still has a single-tier partnership structure. All partners are equity partners.
And all S&C partners are doing very well for themselves. In 2005, the firm enjoyed average profits-per-partner of $2.4 million. See here (subscription required).
Lateral Moves:
* Private equity lawyer Stephen Culhane, to Linklaters (10 points — Magic Circle!!!), from King & Spalding.
Government to Private Sector:
* Harry Sandick, to Jenner & Block, from the venerable S.D.N.Y. U.S. Attorney's Office (where he served as deputy chief appellate attorney and, before that, as acting chief of the violent crimes unit).
Hawyood Haywood Gilliam, to Bingham McCutchen, from the well-regarded San Francisco U.S. Attorney's Office (N.D. Cal.).
[Ed. note: See this comment, and this juicy article. It appears that the office has slipped in the past few years.]
Haywood Gilliam headed the securities fraud section of the U.S.A.O. and worked on various stock options backdating cases. His move to private practice is timely, given the explosion of backdating scandals in Silicon Valley. But Gilliam will presumably be conflicted out of a bunch of cases that he worked on while at the U.S. Attorney's Office.
UK Firm Adds Another NY Partner [NYLawyer.com]
Former Federal Prosecutor Joins Firm in NY [NYLawyer.com]
In Timely Hire, Firm Grabs Backdating Prosecutor [NYLawyer.com]
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The Rose Bush » 23andMe Guide » 23andMe – Show Close Relatives Button
23andMe – Show Close Relatives Button
Show Close Relatives
The main reason adoptees and genealogists buy a DNA kit from 23andMe is to find relatives, preferably close relatives, to help them recreate or verify their family tree. Genealogists are generally trying to either break through brick walls — ancestors whose parents aren't known — or verify that the tree they have is correct. Adoptees and Orphans have to start building their tree from scratch. The best and easiest way to do this is through finding close relatives. You can form a general idea of your ancestors, sometimes even discovering 4th and greater grandparent ancestral pairs, with the help of 3rd and 4th cousins, but to really get down to the nitty-gritty, you need close relatives. But did you know that 23andMe automatically hides from you the folks that you most want to see?
The Button
23andMe set up their site in a very torturous fashion in many ways. There are so many settings that interact with each other in unexpected ways that even long-time users have difficulty setting up the system properly without unwanted surprises! I've often referred to the need to collect a tear from a virgin by the light of the full moon before attempting to modify your settings once you get them working. One of the worst offenders, is the 'Show Close Relatives' toggle.
When you first log onto your DNA Relatives (DNA-R) page, you are offered the opportunity to 'show close relatives' (see featured photo above.) Close relatives, as defined by 23andMe, are people who are first cousins or closer to you. Unfortunately, they include any flavor of first cousin in their definition. Half first cousins [who share only one of the ancestral pair who make up your Most Recent Common Ancestor (MRCA)], first cousins once removed [where one person has one more generation to the MRCA than the other person], first cousins twice removed (one person has two generations more between themselves and your MRCA than you do), half first cousins once removed, and even high-sharing second cousins get caught behind this artificial wall. For people from inbred populations such as French Canadians (Or Ashkenazi Jews, Puerto Ricans, or other isolated populations) high sharing 2nd cousins aren't that unusual.
Effective Database Size
Last year (2013), an article at Slate.com revealed that only 40% of 23andMe's customer database ever push this 'show close relatives' button (see Errata). Clicking the text delivers a large amount of warning rhetoric before you proceed. "Are you sitting down?" "Are your loins girded?" "Do you have your nitro pills nearby?" (/Snark.) Are most people hiding from their close cousins? Probably not. If you looked at your Countries of Ancestry (CoA) file before it hit the 1000 person limit and compared the number of people that show up on it, including the Anonymous folks, to the number of folks on DNA-R, including anonymous folks, prior to hitting the 1000 person cap it would have been about 40% too. This is closer to the real number of folks who are actually participating in the genealogy features at 23andMe (active or inactively) although there are a significant number of customers in the database that just don't realize they need to push this button. Keeping the DUI (Difficult User Interface) in mind, let's say that 50% of 23andMe's members are using DNA-R. When comparing database sizes with competitors, it's important to remember this and mentally cut 23andMe's size in half to get a real idea of the value you're getting from the various companies. It's impossible to know how many 23andMe customers would be using DNA-R if they got emails from intriguing close relatives!
Having your closest relatives hidden prevents you from reaching out to them via the '3 times and done' invite system. So if they came for ethnicity or medical information (back in the day when you used to get medical info – the FDA put a stop to that for now,) and never wandered into the DNA Relatives function, 23andMe's torturous system takes away your only chance to interest them in you. An additional barrier to close relatives meeting up is that 23andMe's DNA-R is in a completely different tab than ethnicity and Neanderthal information.
Confusing to Known Family
Many new users (and not so new users) at 23andMe get confused and upset by this button when they have known family tested. Anguished mothers, fathers, children, aunts, uncles and siblings fill the posting boards wondering if not being able to see their relatives means they aren't related after all. Of course this situation DOES happen which makes it very reasonable to worry when your family doesn't show up on your DNA-R list. Nurses do rarely make mistakes and switch children at birth; rogue clinicians have impregnated women with their own sperm instead of the husband's sperm; adopting parents don't always tell their children they were adopted or that there was a surrogate father or mother used; and people have been having affairs of the heart as long as their have been marriages. So when a known family member doesn't show up on their profile, people understandably panic. Most often, the problem is the 'Show Close Relatives' setting.
There is another wrinkle as well. Close relatives now take longer to show up on your DNA-R list than other matches. I believe this is because all close relatives are manually checked by 23andMe (but have no verification of this.) I think this is great, but I would suggest to them NOT filling the DNA-R file at all until it has gone through this safety check. 23andMe got seriously backed up around the time of the FDA halt of medical information. Prior to that, it was less common that there would be a delay between filing the rest of the DNA-R file and the addition of close relatives. Because of the large volume of customer complaints, it seems that they started filing DNA-R while the verification-of-close-relatives queue grew (or perhaps ennui took over and they didn't do anything about he verification queue becoming greatly backed up.) At any rate, the thing to do is first check everyone's settings and ensure that 'Show Close Relatives' are showing and then wait a heart-wrenching week before looking for skeletons rattling around in your closet. My heart goes out to anyone going through this process.
Setting Up Your Profile to Show Close Relatives
I assume you all have your virginal tear that was appropriately harvested.. Now let's dive into how to set up your DNA-R to show your close relatives. Mouse over the header that says "Family and Friends." No, this isn't a Facebook link-in, it's where you find your test results for DNA matching to relatives.
Click on "DNA Relatives." That will get you to the page pictured above with my anonymous not quite close relatives showing. Then, click on the blue button in the upper right hand corner in the section that shows your profile information that says, "Update Your Profile"
Your DNA-R profile page will pop up on the screen. Go down to the bottom of the screen (it is so far down the profile it doesn't show unless you move the navigation slider bar to show the bottom half of your profile settings.) Put a check mark in the box next to the 'Show my close relatives' line. You can do this by just clicking on the box. And then remember to hit the 'Save Changes' button!
By this time, your virginal tear will have turned to salt and when you reload your DNA-R list you will be able to see all closer relatives who have also set up their profile to show closer relatives.
Will They Fix It and When?
After years of complaints from genealogy users — and now that genealogy/ancestry is all that it offers, 23andMe has finally said they would do 'something' about the show close relatives button. They first said this six weeks ago but cautioned that they have 'one user-experience related project' to finish up first. I understand why they won't give a date, by why they won't give a timeline annoys me. Some past projects have lasted over a year. That's how long we waited for the second update to their ethnicity calculator. Also, they haven't said what the 'fix' is. Will people have to push the button to HIDE close relatives allowing the rest of us to see the those relatives that really don't care? Will they just make the text big and red? Will they force you to make a choice before seeing your relative finder results? I'll update this blog post IF and WHEN 23andMe makes the change.
Quote from Slate.com article, "23andMe asks for two layers of consent before it shows family relationships. First, users are given the chance to turn off the "relative finder" function, which shows relations as close as second cousins. Less than 1 percent of the sites customers choose to opt out. The rest are given the chance to click through to see their "close relatives," and about 40 percent proceed."
DNA Relatives was formerly known as Relative Finder (RF) and many of the FAQs, discussions and help files still refer to it as this.
Countries of Ancestry used to be known as Ancestry Finder (AF) and many FAQs, discussions and help files still refer to it as such.
Credit: Slate.com "Who's Your Daddy" by Daniel Engber 21 May 2013
Photo Credit: Screen shots taken from https://www.23andme.com/you/relfinder/ and the 23andMe Relative Finder FAQ.
Filed under: 23andMe Guide · Tags: 23andMe, Hints and Tips, How to, Tips and Tricks
3 Responses to "23andMe – Show Close Relatives Button"
[…] 23andMe – Show Close Relatives Button, DNA Genealogy [This is a MUST READ for those who are using 23andMe.] […]
Thanks so much for posting this Kassandra. I promptly went online and checked all three of the accounts I manage. Fortunately, for my adoptee case, this was checked (whew!). But, for my account and my husband's, it was not checked. Mine, no big deal, nothing new. But with my husband, a first cousin popped up! THANKS!!!


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TreePeople Turns 40: Thank You, Los Angeles!
Today marks 40 years since the Los Angeles Times shared a kid's dream of saving our city and our forests. "Andy vs. the Bureaucratic Deadwood," by Michael Seiler, touched many thousands of people and moved them to send in their pennies to nurture that dream. On our 40th anniversary, we celebrate a newly energized dream of a vibrant, resilient, climate-safe Los Angeles. Thank you, L.A., for making and being TreePeople.


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A taste of Orange Mint and Honey
Chapter 1: What Would Nina Simone Do?
I should have known things were getting bad when Nina Simone showed up. Don't get me wrong. I love Nina. I've been listening to her since History of Jazz sophomore year. The professor taught us to worship the great men of jazz, but it was the women who drew me in: Billie Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald, Sarah Vaughn, Dinah Washington, Bessie Smith, Mildred Bailey. They were queens, priestesses, goddesses—encouraging me, pointing me away from danger, schooling me in the ways of life. Especially Nina Simone.
I listened to Nina Simone a thousand times, and I always got something from her music. But the night she came to me for the first time she must have known I needed more than a song could offer. I knew a famous singer, and a dead one at that, shouldn't have been in my bedroom, but somehow I wasn't surprised to see her because I had been wishing she were there. Wishing she would tell me what to do.
Usually when I was down I could keep going. But this time I bumped up against something that I couldn't get over, a wall as hard and cold and impossible to see through as frosted glass. I had lost my job writing grant proposals for an indigent-care clinic, stopped going to class, and received an eviction notice from my landlord. But still all I could do was listen to music, hanging on to the life preserver of Nina Simone's eerie, regal voice.
That night, I was listening to the fast version of "House of the Rising Sun." It's a live recording, seven minutes long. Nina gets so into it, you can't make out what she's singing. Behind her, the band chants "rising sun," "rising sun" over and over, and the audience claps to the fast beat. The piano, the clapping hands, and tambourine sound like church and juke joints, like sweat and heat, free and alive. I started dancing. I hadn't had the energy to get out of my pajamas for a week, but "House of the Rising Sun" had me shaking my head back and forth, twirling in circles, and pumping my arms and legs up and
down like I was performing a tribal ritual, like I was one of Alvin Ailey's dancers. I danced through the song three times until all thoughts of jobs and grad school and unpaid bills were erased from my mind and I could sleep.
At 3:33 a.m. I opened my eyes and Nina Simone was there, as if I had conjured her, standing in front of my bedroom window, blue moonlight spotlighting her features — thick lips, proud nose, slanted eyes rimmed in kohl like Cleopatra's. I had been asking myself for days WWNSD (What would Nina Simone do?) and now she had come to tell me. I didn't know if she was a ghost or a hallucination, and I didn't care. Eyes wide, heart thumping like the speakers in the car of a teenaged boy, I sat up and waited for Nina Simone to say something wise, to tell me how to fix the mess I'd made of my life, to comfort me, and convince me that I had inside me everything I needed to move forward.
"You've really screwed up now," she said.
"You heard me."
That's how low I had sunk. Even the spirits of the dead or my own daydreams were turning on me. "I thought you were going to offer me some advice!"
"You're a grown woman. Why should I tell you what to do?"
It sounded bad when she said it. But I was tired. Tired of always having to figure things out, tired of always having to do everything myself. I'd been taking care of myself since I was seven years old. So for someone else to tell me what to do was exactly what I wanted. For once in my life, I wanted someone else to carry the load. "Because I need help!" I shouted. They were words I had never said before. But then again Nina Simone had never been in my apartment before. It was a night of firsts.
"You got that right," she said taking in the mounds of dirty clothes, used Kleenexes, heaps of junk mail, textbooks, CDs, notebooks, and milk-crusted cereal bowls and teacups.
"What I need is…is just a break. A rest. A time out."
Just the week before, Carl, my advisor, had convinced me that was what I needed. Actually, he had "strongly suggested" that I take a year off.
"No!" I had yelled, the most intense emotion I had shown in forever. As exhausted and sick of everything as I was I couldn't just drop out. I couldn't be away from school for an entire year.
He stared at me, even more worried.
"I mean, I can't fall that far behind. I can take a semester off. You're right, a semester off will do me some good."
"OK," he said, relief washing over his face.
I guess since that M.I.T. student set herself on fire a few years ago even after visiting the mental health service the plan was to get depressed college students off campus ASAP. Let them be someone else's lawsuit in the making.
"What will you do with your time off?"
"I have no idea." What did people do with time off? I had never taken a day off in my life. If I didn't have to work, I still had papers to write or tests to study for. Even during the summers, I took at least one class or put in extra hours at work. I'd never even skipped school before now. Playing hooky was something that bad kids, going-to-end-up-just-like-their-parents kids did.
"What about your family? Friends? Don't you have anybody who can help?"
You would think that since I was sitting in front of him in dirty, rumpled clothes and a bandana on my head looking like "Who shot John," as my old hairdresser Belinda used to say, he would know the answer to that question.
Of course, being an academic, he wasn't much better dressed. Like me he had on the requisite khakis and button-down shirt. We would have been twins except his clothes probably didn't come straight out of the hamper. He still thought I was like all his other students who got care packages, plane tickets, and checks from home. But all I ever got from Nona were postcards from her new, allegedly sober life. And friends? The last good friend I had was in high school. Stephanie was still back in Denver. I hadn't spoken to her since we graduated.
"I'll be fine," I said.
"I don't know what's going on, but you might want to see someone. You know? A professional. I want you to come back ready to finish your thesis."
My thesis was just one of many things that had stalled. I nodded, exhausted. All I wanted to do was go back home and turn on my music.
"Let's touch base in a month or so. Send me an email, let me know how you're doing?"
"I'll be fine," I had repeated.
Though clearly I was far from fine. Things had only gotten worse. I had been "resting" for a week now, and look what happened: a dead woman was sitting in my bedroom talking to me.
"Go home, Shay," Nina Simone said.
She knew my name.
"You need to go home," she repeated.
She must have read my mind, which shouldn't have been too hard considering there was a good chance she was being generated from the same place. But like Carl, she didn't understand.
The last time I saw Nona I was in my junior year in college. She came to Iowa City when she reached the step where they make you apologize. She was very pregnant, and I couldn't believe how ugly she was. Her face was all broken out and she must have gained fifty, sixty, pounds. Not just in her breasts and stomach, but in her face, arms, hands, back, butt, and thighs. The bags under her eyes were puffed up like potstickers. Even her feet were fat.
When I saw her, saw how heavy and zitty she was, I was almost happy she had come. I kept my eyes on her bloated feet the whole time she read her apology. Her voice shook. I don't remember exactly what she said. Something about being sorry she let me down, sorry I learned I couldn't trust her. But I remember her saying something about us "being mother and daughter again" and even though I was looking down at her feet, I saw her rest her hand on her stomach when she said the word mother.
That was too much. Acting like her pregnancy was a good thing, not a horrible, stupid mistake. I had actually been hopeful when she told me she was going to AA. For the first few months, I thought, wow, she's really going to do it this time. Stupid me, I actually let myself believe her. Then she got pregnant. Knocked up by a guy she met in AA, who promptly left her high and dry just like my own father did, and there she was expecting me to believe that things were different. She couldn't even do AA without going off with some guy! She was thirty-six years old and she had never heard of birth control? Never heard of AIDS or Chlamydia or herpes?
She told me she hoped I would give her another chance. I think she wanted me to shout, "I forgive you!" and throw myself into her arms. But I just stared at her feet, at the flesh rising like bread dough over the straps of her red sandals.
Nina Simone gingerly toed a pair of jeans out of her way, revealing the panties I had worn with them weeks ago tangled up inside, and walked toward me. I hoped she didn't get too close. It had been a while since I had seen soap and water. I was cloaked in a cloud of funk toxic enough to re-kill a dead woman.
She sat on the foot of my bed. "You could rest. Let your mother take care of you."
I snorted. "That's not how it worked. I took care of Nona, and I'm done."
"Maybe it would be different. Maybe you've got nothing to lose."
I doubted it would be very different, but she was right about me having nothing to lose. Spending an Iowa winter in my old V.W. bug didn't sound very appealing. But still I hesitated.
"Go home," Nina Simone urged, her long earrings swinging like chandeliers.
So I picked up the phone and called Nona for the first time in seven years.
Chapter 2: Strands
A week later, on the eighth night of the eighth month of the year, I arrived at the address Nona had given me still questioning the visitation/fantasy/ fever dream that had made me think coming back to Denver could ever be a good idea. The sun had just disappeared behind the mountains far to the west. It's 800 miles from Iowa City, and I had been driving in my un-air-conditioned 1972 Volkswagen all day. I was exhausted, dirty, and sticky with sweat, but not at all ready to go in.
A cool Colorado night breeze, so unlike the fog that passes for air in Iowa, flowed through the windows and Nina Simone's voice floated out of the car speakers. Just as she was singing "A gal who's been forgotten may forgive, but never once forget" two figures, one big and one small, walked toward me out of the darkness into the light of the street lamp. I turned the key to stop the cassette tape, but I could still hear Nina's voice telling me to go on, go on and do what you came to do. I got out of the car. A woman who I had to assume was Nona, though I barely recognized her, opened the gate and walked right up to me and hugged me as if there had never been hundreds of miles and years of bitterness between us.
She pulled away from me smiling, teary-eyed. "I'm so happy you're here."
I gaped at her, my eyes dry. At forty, she still looked more like my sister than my mother, especially now that the baby weight was gone. What was really strange, though, was that she had on glasses, and even more striking, she had cut her hair into a very short afro. Long, straight hair used to be her thing. She always wore weaves and extensions that floated around her shoulders like feathers, and no matter how much she was drinking, she made it to the beauty shop every six weeks to get her relaxer retouched. She was probably always the best-looking drunk in the bar.
She rubbed her hand over her tight curls and said, "I look different, huh?"
I don't know why, but I answered no. Maybe it was because I didn't want to talk about looks. I was wearing old cutoffs, a t-shirt stained with truck-stop burrito sauce, and, to complete my ensemble, my bandana. I had started pulling my hair again, something I hadn't done since the ninth grade, and had cleared three bald patches around my head. The scarf was to cover the carnage.
A little girl in ballet flats, pink tutu, and a Colorado State University sweatshirt hugged Nona's leg.
"Hey, this is Sunshine." Nona picked up the little girl and beamed at her like she was the cinnamon on her cappuccino.
I'd seen her before, but only in pictures. She could have been anybody's baby sitting in a bathtub with soap bubbles on her head or smiling like a Buddha in the middle of a patch of orange and blue flowers. She could have been one of those child models they display in picture frames for sale at Target. But right here in front of me in Nona's arms, looking like Nona, looking like me, with the same thick eyebrows, bags under her eyes, and a chin like the sharp tip of a heart, there was no getting around it: she was Nona's daughter. She was my sister.
"Sunny, this is your big sister. Say hi."
Sunny mumbled hi.
"Hi?" I responded as if to ask, Do you know how it came to be that I have a little sister and Nona has cut off all her hair and I'm back in Denver?
Not surprisingly, Sunny didn't have any answers.
"Come on in," Nona said.
I got my things out of the car and followed them through the gate and up a path of small river rocks to the house. In the living room, there was music playing, men singing a cappella, something gospelly and soulful.
"Have a seat."
Nona left and Sunny sat on the couch staring at me with her head cocked to the side like a puppy. Nona's daughter. My sister. Half-sister, actually, but it still was never going to sound right to me. I looked away.
Three votive candles flickered on the coffee table. The air smelled like lemons and flowers. There were Barbies and stuffed animals everywhere and soft pillows on the couch. The window across from the couch was surrounded by plants: big trees in pots, ferns and vines hanging from the ceiling, and flowers sitting on the windowsill. I stared at a red orchid, thinking that if I concentrated hard enough on its flowers, shaped like exploding stars or poisonous spiders, I might be able to focus myself and regain my equilibrium.
"Come on, sit down," Nona repeated when she returned.
She put a bamboo serving tray — a serving tray! — with sliced green apples, cheese, crackers, a small plate of sugar cookies, and two glasses of iced tea on the coffee table.
I sat on the couch next to Sunny, who immediately scooted over to the other side.
"Don't try to play shy now," Nona said, tickling her. "She's been driving me crazy all day. 'When's my sister coming? When's my sister coming?'" She handed me a glass of tea with a slice of orange in it. "I made it with orange mint from my yard. The cookies too. My sponsor calls me the chocolate Martha Stewart."
I made a half-hearted laugh at her joke.
"What?" She smiled.
She was serious. Nona, who used to think she was really doing something when she chopped up some hot dogs on top of a pot of pork and beans thought she was Martha Stewart!
Clearly, I had lost my mind, somehow smoked some crack I didn't know about, but now I could see that letting a dead singer's ghost or a figment of my imagination talk me into moving in with Nona, even temporarily, was a mistake of epic proportions. Nina Simone had put a spell on me, and I needed to sleep it off, then I'd be able to think better, figure out where to go from here. I put down my glass. "I just want to go to bed."
Nona murmured something to herself, then stood. "Okay. Let's show you to your room."
I followed her and Sunny through a short narrow hallway and turned right into a large room that was half kitchen and half sitting room like something out of Little House on the Prairie.
"This is the everything-but-the-shouting-room," Nona said.
The prairie room looked like it was from a time when one main room was enough for a whole family and all their belongings, when people darned their own socks and told stories and sang songs after dinner. On one side of the room were the stove, refrigerator, sink and table, and on the other side were bookshelves (Nona reads now?), a toy stove and refrigerator, a red wagon filled with dolls, a wicker rocking chair, and more plants.
We walked through the prairie room and Nona went to the doorway on the left. "This is your room. Sunny's going to sleep with me."
At first all I saw was yellow, as if all the butter, lemons, canaries, rubber ducks, and Easter bonnets in the world as well as the sun itself had been collected into one room to please a little girl. Yellow walls, yellow comforter, yellow rug, and yellow curtains.
Nona pointed to a vase of flowers on the nightstand. "The daisies are to bring you joy, the lavender will help you sleep, and the roses are because…well, who doesn't like roses?" she said. "You sure you don't want anything to eat? Or something to drink? A glass of water? I like to keep one by the side of my bed. You know the altitude dries you out. It'll take you a while to get used to it again."
I just wanted to go to bed. "That's okay."
She sighed and her eyes dimmed like headlights going out when you turn off a car. I knew that look. The same look she'd have when she came home from the bars earlier than intended. But she didn't chew her lip, so she was wasn't too upset.
"Then I guess this girl and I will get ready for bed too." She picked Sunny up. "Got the clinic and preschool tomorrow."
"The clinic?"
"I work over at Eastside. I'm an admin assistant."
Eastside was part of Denver Health, the county hospital system. I was studying epidemiology. I wanted to be a hospital administrator or a disease surveillance officer, and Denver Health was the kind of place I hoped to work in myself one day. Mi Casa de Salud, the clinic that fired me, was a lot like Eastside, except they provided care mostly for migrant farm workers from Mexico. I never in a trillion years would have guessed that Nona and I would end up even remotely in the same line of work.
"We'll be right next door if you need anything. Your towels are in the bathroom, the pink ones. Help yourself to anything— Lord, listen to me." She put Sunny back down, took a deep breath, and put her hands on my shoulders. I couldn't tell if she meant to brace me or herself. She looked at me, her eyes so clear and bright behind her lenses. "LaShay, you're home—"
"You know I hate it when you call me that. It's just Shay."
"I'm sorry. I forgot. But, anyway you're home. Home. So, just…act like it, okay? Claim it."
She looked like she wanted to say more, a lot more, but, luckily, she made herself stop because I was stunned enough by what I had already heard. Claim it?
After they left, I closed the door and sat on the bed. In my Nina-induced haze, I had agreed to stay through Christmas, but now I could see there was no way I was going to last that long. A week or two max. However long it took for me to come up with a plan B. But that was it.
As grimy as I was, I was too tired to shower and brush my teeth. I turned off the light and a glow-in-the-dark constellation of stars and moons appeared on the ceiling. I kicked off my shoes, pushed the toys off the bed, and lay down. Just as the galaxy above me dimmed, I heard Nona and Sunny go in the other bedroom. Then I heard running water, like there was a broken pipe in the wall between this room and Nona's bedroom. It threatened to drive me crazier than I already was. I got my iPod out of my backpack, took the bandana off my head, and put in my earphones.
In the darkness, I touched my hair. The inches of new growth near the scalp were soft and fuzzy and the straightened hair beyond the new growth was dry and rough. My hand traveled to an egg-shaped bald spot above my right ear. One of these days I was really going to have to stop doing this, but today wasn't it. I separated out one strand of hair and pulled it gently until it lengthened and flattened and all the curl in the new part was gone, then I slowly wrapped it around my index finger and yanked hard. In my hand, the nappy part of the freed hair curled back up, twisting around until it was back as nature wanted it. I separated out another strand and did the same thing. I pulled three more hairs and one by one my muscles unclenched, the spaces between my bones opened, and my blood flowed more freely. I felt my lungs expand. I closed my eyes and went to sleep with Nina Simone in my ear and five black strands of hair in my hand.
Copyright 2006 Carleen Brice


text:
SPRINGFIELD, Ill. (AP) - State health officials say Illinois flu activity continues to be high in a season where the virus struck earlier than usual.
Illinois Department of Public Health spokeswoman Melaney Arnold said Friday that 534 people have been admitted to hospital intensive care units with the flu this season and 58 have died.
She says all but one of the people who died were age 50 or older.
This year's main flu strain tends to make people sicker, and public health officials continue to encourage people to get vaccinated.
Flu typically includes a fever and respiratory problems such as cough, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose. It can be accompanied by head and body aches and fatigue. Most people recover in one to two weeks, but some develop complications such as pneumonia.
(Copyright 2013 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.)