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After 38 fulfilling years in the beverage industry, Keith Paulson '69 has retired. He's living in Monte Sereno with his wife, Claire Campodonico. He is an ace golfer at Saratoga Country Club.
Bud Ogden '69 was inducted into the seventh annual West Coast Conference 2015 Hall of Honor class. Ogden was a catalyst for the Santa Clara men's basketball team amidst one of its most successful runs in program history. He proudly represented the Broncos from 1966-1969 and led Santa Clara to two NCAA tournament appearances. Ogden was named to the WCC All-Conference first team in 1968 and 1969, which followed a second team selection in 1967. Furthermore, Ogden was honored as an All-American selection in 1969 by the Helms Foundation and the USBWA as he led the Broncos to a No. 3 national ranking.
Michael Murphy '69 writes that his current position is solutions developer, Acxiom Corp.
Bill Mowatt '58, M.A. '69 has recently retired from completing Team N Training marathons. Dr. Mowatt and his wife, Gail, have raised more than $75,000 for Leukemia-Lymphoma research, and now they both chair fundraising events for the Santa Cruz County Symphony. Bill still teaches the Shakespeare plays for Shakespeare Santa Cruz. They enjoy living in Santa Cruz with Mike, their lovable Airedale terrier.
Patrick Mason '69 writes, "I would be remiss if I did not add some facts on my wife, Christine Bjorklund 72. We have been married (by Father Pat Carroll at Mary Lautze Garland 70's resort in Sedona, Ariz.) for 33 years. Chris was the on-air Consumer Reporter for KGO-AM radio for 15 years and served on the Board of Directors of Consumer Reports Magazine for 24 years. She is currrently a Consumer Quality Consultant for Diamond Certified, a services rating company, and Podcast Editor for AllBusiness.com, a website for small business owners. She also works as a water aerobic exercise instructor at The Olympic Club and UCSF Mission Bay in San Francisco. Our two grown children went to Georgetown (Dan of New York City) and U of Portland and USF (Molly of Novato)."
Vincent Mancuso '69 writes, "We recently sold our house in Bethesda MD and downsized to a condo in Arlington VA. The condo is adjacent to the Iwo Jima Memorial and Arlington Cemetery. We spend a lot of time at our cottage in south eastern West Virginia in the Alleghany Mts. WV is a very special place with wonderful people."
Marilee Pierotti Lau '69 has been appointed to the ERISA Department of Labor Advisory Council in Washington, D.C., for a three-year term.
Bob Labozetta '69, MA '75 writes: "After 33+ years teaching at the secondary and lately the community college level, I have retired my chalk and white board pens, closed my grading software, and boxed my PowerPoint presentations and lessons. The last six years my wife, Susan, and I resided in Oregon, and last summer decided to chuck it all and travel full-time. We sold our home and most of our possessions, bought a motorhome, and now see the USA (but not in a Chevrolet). While Susan continues her art (sculpture), I may put my SCU education to work by writing who-knows-what. Figuring out how to brew beer on the road, fishing across this great land, and viewing historical sites that I discussed in the classroom but never took the opportunity to visit are prominent objectives as well."
Daniel Kelly J.D. '69 recently received the Civility and Professionalism award from the San Francisco Chapter of the American Board of Trial Advocates. The Chapter consists of 350 selected trial lawyers from all of Northern California. Kelly was elected to membership in 1986 and served as Chapter President in 1994. In 2001, he was the recipient of the law school's Edwin J. Owens Lawyer of the Year award.
Jim C. Jones J.D. '69 retires after more than seven years as county council for Calaveras County. On Tuesday, July 12, the Calaveras County Board of Supervisors unanimously passed a Resolution thanking Council Jones for his outstanding service to the county.
Edward Jessen '69, the longest-serving Reporter of Decisions in the history of the California Supreme Court, has retired after 25 years of public service.
As Reporter of Decisions, Mr. Jessen has been responsible for supervising the preparation and publication of California appellate court opinions in the Official Reports. These days, the work now includes the publication of more than 12,000 opinions a year on the judicial branch's website. Appointed by the court, the Reporter ensures the editorial integrity of all such opinions from filing through publication, and reviews the accuracy of the editorial information included In the advance sheets and bound volumes.
Mark Janlois '69 is a partner in Janlois Partners, LP, which owns and manages commercial properties in Contra Costa County.
Darrell Igelmund '69 writes, "Sold my electronic test equipment company and patents (Byte Brothers, Inc. of Seattle) to Jewell Instruments/Triplett of Manchester, NH. The factory was relocated from Seattle to New Hampshire in August. A big thanks to Santa Clara's engineering school for helping this once young guy from New York get off to a good start and standing by me after I received an F in second-year physics (a victim of too much fun!)"
Alan Higginson '69, MBA '71 was appointed to the board of directors of Pivot3, Inc., a leading provider of unified storage and compute appliances. Higginson, Chairman, Hubspan and F5 Networks, will provide his extensive technology and leadership experience of high-growth technology companies to the Pivot3 board and its management team.
With more than 20 years of senior executive and CEO experience in technology-related industries, Higginson applies his extensive leadership skills to help young companies grow and develop. His industry experience spans both private and public companies including Atrieva, F5 Networks and Hubspan. Prior to his work with start-up organizations, Higginson spent five years at Sierra On-Line as executive vice president of worldwide sales and marketing.
Dan Hanley '67 MBA '69 J.D. '74 celebrated the birth of his granddaughter last August. He has been married to Judi Hanley since October 22.
Daniel E. Hanley MBA '67, J.D. '74 is still in private law practice in San Jose doing estate planning, probate, and business law. He practices with his son Sean Hanley, who does bankruptcy and debt relief. Dan recently became a grandfather with the birth of Brynn Hanley (daughter of Brian Hanley). Dan is happly married to Judi (since 1974). They live in Saratoga, Calif.
Kenneth Giebel '69, MBA '76 has been appointed director of homeownership at California Housing Finance Agency by Gov. Jerry Brown '59. California Housing Finance Agency provides home mortgage financing to first-time homebuyers and renters in California. It also provides mortgage insurance; permanent financing for the acquisition, rehabilitation, and preservation of existing or new construction of rental housing; and multifamily rental development properties management services. Giebel, 68, of Lincoln, has served as acting director of single family lending for the agency since 2012 and was director of marketing from 2002 to 2012. He was director of promotions and ethnic advertising at the California State Lottery from 1994 to 2002. Prior to the Lottery position, Ken worked in marketing, advertising, and promotion positions for a number of Fortune 500 Companies.
L. Laura Fritz '69 earned a master's of science degree in counseling psychology from University of Nevada, Las Vegas. She lives with her husband, Mike Weber, in Las Vegas. After years in private practice as a therapist and serving on several nonprofit boards, Laura became a professional fundraiser for the University and Community College System of Nevada for over 10 years. Currently, Laura is a professional fundraiser with Catholic Healthcare West's St. Rose Dominican Health Foundation and recenlty voted Outstanding Professional Fundraiser of the Year by the Association of Fundraising Professionals, Las Vegas Chapter.
Edward A. Fraga '69 writes, "I retired two years ago after a 42-year career in IT, including department directorships, and 10 years as VP for state and local government for Gartner (gartner.com). My wife of 36 years, Carol, and I have lived in our home in Topanga, California, since 1988. We have traveled the world, including to all seven continents and remote locations such as the Falkland and Galapagos Islands, Mongolia, and Antartica. I recently completed the P90X 90-day exercise program and am currently training to participate in a triathlon. We have been blessed with a good life and good health, and so we are now giving back to our community in emergency-preparedness assistance."
Dr. Patrick Foley M.A. '69 has recently published his book Missionery Bishop: Jean-Marie Odin in Galveston and New Orleans (Texas A&M University Press). He has spent more than 20 years researching and writing the book.
Charles Foley '69 writes: In March 2013 Texas A&M University published my biography of the first Catholic bishop in Texas, French Vincentian Jean-Marie Odin. The book was more than twenty years in research and writing and is being well received. A few weeks ago the Texas State Senate awarded me a proclamation for the book being published. Odin was named Bishop of Galveston in 1847 and second Archbishop of New Orleans in February 1861.
Kevin J. Donahue '68 was named the California State Athletic Director of the Year for 2010-2011. He was also honored with the Distinguished Service Award from the Central Coast Section Athletic Directors Association, and the In Via Award from Serra High School, the highest honor the school confers on non-alumni. Donahue recently retired from Serra High School in San Mateo after 31 years at the school, where he served as Athletic Director the past 30 years. He lives in Danville with his wife Robin.
Ken Caillat '69, Grammy-winning producer best known for producing the Fleetwood Mac record Rumours—the third largest-selling album of all time—just released the book Making Rumours: The Inside Story of the Classic Fleetwood Mac Album, which tells the wild, poignant, and exhilarating story behind the album's creation. Following the huge commercial success of Rumours, Caillat also produced Tusk (1979), Live (1980), Mirage (1982), and The Chain (box set, originally released in 1992) for the British-American rock band.
Steve Bric '69 writes that he is president of Hibernia Woolen Mills, which he founded in 1997. The extremely successful company manufactures residential and contract wool carpeting, with plans for growth. He operates the business with his wife, Sharon Bric, whom he married in January 1979. "We enjoy the special friendships we have with our staff," writes Bric, who has two kids: Erin (who graduated from Boston College ) and Kevin '05.
While at SCU, Bric was station manager at KSCU Radio Station from 1967–1968. He was also a member of Delta Sigma Pi business fraternity. After four years in ROTC, he was commissioned 2nd lieutenant. He completed officer's basic at Fort Bliss, Texas, in air defense artillery, and served two years at Fort Ord, Calif., as a range officer with combat skills. Bric served four years in reserve duty with the rank of captain. His brother was killed in action in Vietnam while serving with Special Forces Secret Unit (SOG), facts only discovered 10 years ago, when Secrecy Agreements ran out.


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5K brings in 320 runners to help fight breast cancer
At 9 a.m. Saturday, approximately 320 runners were racing down Main Street in downtown Monroe for the annual Firefighters for the Cure 5K.
Some could be seen running in the teal colored T-shirts provided for the event while others wore pink or other colors for teams they created for the event.
While some chose to run as a way to show support for breast cancer awareness, some had personal reasons for why they wanted to participate in the 5K.
"Me and my sister-in-law both have family members who have had breast cancer," Shauna Smith, a firefighter with the Allen's Crossroads Fire Department and a paramedic, said.
Some participated individually in the event while others formed large teams. A large group of friends and family of Elaine Vincoli came out Saturday in pink T-shirts that read Team Vincoli written in light blue across them.
"Team Vincoli was kept a secret," Cynthia Goodwin, a friend of Vincoli's who along with Carol Williams helped organize the team, said.
Elaine Vincoli was recently diagnosed with cancer and they decided to form a team to walk in the 5K and show support for her. The team consisted of 47 people that included friends and family of hers as well as others in the community who wanted to come out and show support for her. They kept the team secret until Saturday and told her they were taking her out to breakfast that morning but instead surprised her with members of Team Vincoli walking down the street in their T-shirts. They also surprised her with a shirt for herself and told her that morning that she was also walking in the 5k, Goodwin said.
"It is the epitome of Christian love," Vincoli said in reference to how she felt about being surprised by her friends and family.
She is very grateful to all of them who came out as a part of Team Vincoli to show their support, she said.
With 47 people on their team, Team Vincoli won the Firefighters for the Cure 5K award for the largest civilian team.
In addition to runners who participated in the event, she estimates that around 500 people attended Saturday. This included various vendors that set up tables during the event and others who stopped by Saturday, Windi Henderson, a member of Firefighters for the Cure, who helped organize Saturday's event, said.
In addition to Team Vincoli winning the title for largest civilian team, Wingate Volunteer Fire Department won the award for largest fire department team. When it came to 5K runners, Garrett Hamilton was named the 1st Place Male winner with a time of 18 minutes and 19 seconds and Courtney Davis was named the 1st Place Female winner with a time of 20 minutes and seven seconds, Henderson said.
When not running in the 5K, runners and others had the chance to visit the many different vendors at the event that set up tables in front of the Union County Government Center and the Union County Courthouse. In all there were around 20 vendors, some of which planned to donate a portion of their proceeds to Firefighters for the Cure. Union Breast Surgery Specialists as well as Bras for the Cause, the BCC Rally Pink Bow Campaign, The Pampered Chef, Brelyn Treats and Advocare, were some organizations and companies with tables at the event. Those attending the 5K also had the opportunity to vote on decorated bras at the Bras for the Cause table Saturday. The top three winners will be announced during Tickled Pink for Breast Cancer at the Rolling Hills Country Club on Oct. 17.
Boyce Adams, another member of Firefighters for the Cure, described the turnout for Saturday's 5K as fantastic.
"It's always overwhelming how many people show up to support the local organization and people battling cancer," he said.
For more information about Firefighters for the Cure visit its Facebook page or send an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.com.


text:
- Hard-anodized surface is great for searing and deglazing
- Safe for use in the oven and under the broiler
- Use any type of utensil with the pan
- Suitable for electric, gas and ceramic stovetops
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- Made in the USA
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SPECIAL OFFER - Enjoy special savings and free shipping* on this Calphalon closeout item. The current price of this item reflects the savings. Offer valid through January 28, 2015 or while supplies last.
*Offer applies to Super Saver Shipping within the contiguous U.S. Not available on shipments to AK, HI, U.S. Territories, APO/FPO or orders shipping internationally. Cannot be combined with other special offers, including affiliate site offers, rebates or miles, or promotional gift certificates. Cannot be applied to previous purchases. Terms subject to change.
DOUBLE BONUS - Purchase $299 or more of select Calphalon Cookware* and receive a Bonus 7-pc. Utensil Set; a $55 value. Purchase $399 or more of select Calphalon Cookware* and receive the Bonus Utensil Set and a Bonus Unison Nonstick 12-in. Everyday Pan; a $240 total value. Not valid on orders that ship internationally. Limit one per order. Valid for a limited time or while supplies last. *Offer Excludes All Simply Calphalon and Classic Stainless Cookware.
- - - less non-stick - yuk. Everyone has non-stick. I grant that Calphalon needs non-stick in its lineup but it's been difficult to find the Hard Anodized pan I was looking for (10") to compliment my 8" omelet pan which is at least 10 years old. Yes, HA requires more care, but if used correctly it can give years of non-stick service. This particular 10" pan should have a wide, flat steel handle like the older ones. Slide on a handle cover and it works great but on the 10" the handle is too narrow for pan control. Never-the-less, I'm glad to have it. Hope to get years of use out of it. Make more!
You would be better off buying stainless cookware if you were interested in this pan. I wanted a pan for high heat in the oven and saw that it was broiler safe. I don't know how I got side tracked...
Followed directions on seasoning pan for initial use. Everything sticks to this pan. Will contact manufacturer for replacement.
4 out of 5 stars, based on 75 ratings
78% of reviewers recommend this product
81% say this is a "good value"
Not non-stick. Not good if you want to use it to make omelettes or to fry eggs.
As soon as I opened the box, I sat down and read the printed information on use, care, etc., to make sure I kept uptodate on my latest piece of Calphalon's new and frequently improved cookware. I washed, dried and lightly oiled it according to the instructions - a new step in my experience - and thought about what to use it for for its first use. I decided to experiment and try an Italian salami/tomato pasta sauce. I bought it on sale, so it was a double pleasure to use; it washed up beautifully. I've used it several times since then and am very happy with it. I'll be using it a lot in the future and after I see how it looks after several months' use, I might come back and revise my numerical rating.
If cleans up well but everything sticks to it.
This skillet is almost nonstick with the use of a little oil and no nonstick chemicals to worry about. Cleanup was very easy as well...just soak in warm water for a few minutes.
I bought this pan on a lark, hoping to finally get a fry pan that wouldn't let things stick. It works great...requiring very little oil to keep out sticking and it's a charm to clean. I've never used anything more than a sponge or mild brush to clean it....unlike former pans that needed soaking and scouring after cooking eggs...This is a great purchase. I liked it so much that I bought another one for my daughter.


text:
|Switcher Hangout The place for switchers to discuss their new machines, and how to work with OS X. General support can be had here for newbie stuff, like "How do I restart my new iMac?" :)
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Member Since: Jan 27, 2007
Location: *Brisvegas*
Posts: 5,658
Mac Specs: 17 inch 2 GHz C2D imac (5,1) with 3GB DDR2 RAM, X1600 (128MB memory) GPU - OSX 10.6.3
I know a lot about the iphone and the ipad as we all do by now. And I have a question.
Which of these 2 products should I get? Iphone 4G or ipad?
And here are some points I thought of.
Both will cost the roughly the same I would guess as I'd have to buy the iphone outright here in Australia.
The ipad would give me bigger screen real estate + all the lovely ipads which would be really nice.
But which the iphone I could replace my really dodgy phone I own now which cost me $50. I sms a bit and smsing on my current phone is very annoying to say the least.
What I do not like is Apple due to their pricing in Australia has made me choose between the two devices. And on my limited budget I just can not afford both.
And quite a few people here have asked me the same question and I had no real answer other then "do you want a phone or a computer that is netbook like but 100x better in every way?" I'd like to be able to give them a better answer too.
|QUOTE Thanks
Member Since: Sep 26, 2008
Location: Camp Hill, Pa
Posts: 497
Mac Specs: 15in MBP - 27in iMac - iPhone
I'm guessing from your profile mac specs, you only have an iMac.
So you dont have a portable computer (Like a macbook or macbook pro)
It also sounds like your current phone is a POS.
I personally say, go with the iPhone.
Mainly because it's a device you will use every single day, multiple times.
Where the iPad has the occasional usage.
Then, after you get the iPhone. Begin to save for an iPad. LOL
|QUOTE Thanks
Member Since: Dec 03, 2006
Location: Irvine, CA
Posts: 9,385
Mac Specs: Black Macbook C2D 2GHz 3GB RAM 250GB HD iPhone 4 iPad 3G
June 2007
July 2009
|QUOTE Thanks
Member Since: Jan 31, 2010
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
Posts: 298
Mac Specs: Early 2010 13" MBP; Late 2010 13" MBA
|QUOTE Thanks
Member Since: Jul 18, 2007
Location: Central California
Posts: 3,185
Mac Specs: 2.16GHz C2D MacBook w/ 2GB RAM & 120GB HD. HTC Droid Incredible.
Member Of The Month for December '08.
It's only the internet!
|QUOTE Thanks
Member Since: May 19, 2010
Posts: 2
Everytime I hit the full screen button to watch a YouTube or Vevo or other online video it pauses as it's opening the video like the video stops and it jsut shows like a blanks screen for a couple of seconds before continueing onto the full screen video?
Does this happen with all Mac Book pros laptops?
Please let me know!!!
|QUOTE Thanks
Member Since: May 23, 2010
Location: Broke through Heaven
Posts: 38
Mac Specs: iMac i5 27", MacBook Air 2010 13"
|QUOTE Thanks
Member Since: Jan 27, 2007
Location: *Brisvegas*
Posts: 5,658
Mac Specs: 17 inch 2 GHz C2D imac (5,1) with 3GB DDR2 RAM, X1600 (128MB memory) GPU - OSX 10.6.3
To TomTomTuning:
You are right I only have that imac. And no portable Apple device. But my current phone works just fine. My phone does everything I want it to do but it's a major hassle to get what I need to be done. it's not a smart phone. It's more a wannabe smart phone. Takes ages to type in a sms. having to manually edit my emails on my computer to match my phone (no push support). Not the most fun part of my day
So your advice = Iphone first then ipad.
To Kash: You make a good point. But can you use wi-fi only on the iphone so I don't have to pay 3G costs? I really an rarely if ever not in distance of a wi-fi hotspot. So I don't need and don't want to pay for 3G. If I could use the hotspots for free with the iphone like you can on the ipad then I'd be sold. That plus the onscreen keyboard for things like sms and calendar would make my life 100 times easier.
I will research the wi-fi only options for the iphone. Thank you .
So your advice = Iphone first then ipad.
To Gary86
I would but finances say I can only afford to get one first. And that is the question which one to get first.
So your advice = No real advice but a comment
To Eric559
To answer your question. I need these things.
1. The onscreen keyboard to type in contacts and sms and other things.
2. Wi-Fi internet on the go. (I do not want to pay for 3G) And that's just for checking emails and pushing calendar contacts/emails to my imac. I have no real need for Wi-Fi general net surfing. It would be a nice added bonus. But not a necessity.
3. To replace my ipod. It is a 5G video one. White 30GB. I got it 4 years ago. And I used it so much the max charge is like less then 50% of the original now. And I am thinking if I get an ipad/iphone that could also be my ipod. And then I'd not have to carry around 2 devices anymore, just the one.
4. The first time I used an Apple touch device was instore an ipad on the weekend. I've lived my life just fine without one. So I don't need to write massive documents or similar things on the go. Just the above things.
So your advice = of those 4 points 1,3 and 4 would be better on an iphone. I just dunno about 2 and the WiFi on the iphone. But it seems the iphone wins there.
To Kamina
I agree with you 100%. But I don't have any Apple portable devices. And I do not see myself purchasing an Apple notebook any time in the future
So your advice = iphone.
So 4 advice points there. And they all pretty much say iphone. Sure I'll miss the large ipad screen. But I look at my imac. It is like 4 years old now. And why have i not replaced it? Cause it still works and does everything I need it to. I want to repalce it to but it I don't see the need to replace something that does everything I need 100% still.
And if I use that mentality I don't have a place for an ipad in my life now. I am trying to find a place for an ipad though. But a phone has a place. A place that really needs an improvement.
So it seems all your advice is to get the iphone now and then wait to see if I like that then get the ipad. But since I'm not made of money I think it will probably have to be iphone then new imac (one day) then ipad (maybe). Thanks everyone for the comments. I know it's a really hard question. I will cry not getting the ipad's large screen and apps. And having to pay the same price for a smaller device. I think that's the way the cookie crumbles. I want an ipad. But I need a new phone.
|QUOTE Thanks
Member Since: Mar 17, 2009
Posts: 3,626
Mac Specs: 2008 15" MBP Yosemite, 2012 21.5" iMac Yosemite
Technically, it isn't called 4G. Probably to eliminate confusion over 3G or 4G.
64GB iPhone 6, 64GB iPad Air 2.
Reminder: Please include your Mac's specs. This will make it much easier for the other members to assist you.
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text:
Additionally in Norway, the stigma of "putting Mom in a home" isn't as strong as it is in the United States, Daatland says. In fact, the practice is relatively common: About 70 percent of the country's elder care resources go toward nursing home care. And assistance is affordable. Those who can stay in their home pay 2 percent of the cost of home health care. The rest is covered by the government. Once a person needs a nursing home, his or her cost for the care is capped at 75 percent of their basic pension, plus 85 percent of any additional pension or other income, regardless of how much money or assets they have.
Because care is affordable, families are not fighting over who will pay for services or worried that Mom and Dad will run out of money. Each generation in Norway retains its autonomy; the younger relatives don't feel as strongly about a sense of "duty" to their parents as families do in Spain, another country profiled in the study.
In Spain, adult children and aging parents were more likely to live together, because of cultural norms but also because the country lacks strong social programs to help older people. In Norway, however, independence is valued, and while parents often support their adult children financially, it rarely works the other way around, Daatland says.
American independence
In America, the desire for independence crashes into the realities of the demands of caregiving. Add to that an immigrant heritage that values providing direct care to aging parents, the rise of two-income families where women work and are strained by caregiving responsibilities, and the financial burden of the cost of in-home and long-term care — and you have a recipe for disharmony.
When Linda Higueras was growing up, her grandmother lived with her family until she died. "My parents were born in Latin America, and you don't put your old people in homes," she says. So when her parents' health declined — her father, 88, has dementia, and her mother, 84, was no longer able to care for him by herself — she moved her parents into her Sonoma, Calif., home. Culturally, it was the right thing to do. But emotionally, it was difficult.
"Things became so combative at my house with my parents living with me," Higueras, 55, says. "My mother and I were in opposition about what had to be done, and my father was just getting worse."
And then Higueras woke one night to a thud. Her father had fallen; there was blood all over the carpet. After the emergency room visit came a stint in a long-term care facility for people with dementia. But Higueras and her mother felt he wasn't getting enough supervision there, so they struck a compromise: Her parents would move back into their own home, but they had to agree to some paid help. Now Higueras and her brother pay for about 20 hours of assistance a week, and Higueras does most of the rest of the caregiving.
"One night I was changing my father's diaper and he said to me, 'I hate this. I hate this so much,' " Higueras says. " 'This is not the life I expected. And this is not the life I want for you either.' "
Higueras can't argue with that statement. She misses her old life, and that adds to the tension. She used to run marathons but hasn't been on a run, a hike or to a single Pilates class in months. "I think like most adult children we all have our separate lives, but now my life is intertwined with them," she says. "I can't take vacations. I have to be conscientious about trying to be over there as often as I can."
Loss of identity
It's that struggle to retain our individual identities that adds to the strain on the relationship, says psychiatrist Scott Haltzman, M.D., author of The Secrets of Happy Families: Eight Keys to Building a Lifetime of Connection and Contentment. This is a quintessential American trait that defines the boomer generation: those who are now doing the caregiving and are becoming the ones that have to accept being cared for.
"It was a little less than 50 years ago that Jack Kennedy said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you,' " Haltzman says. "People pay lip service to that now. It's really not an issue of what you can do for others, it's what can others do for me, it's about what will make me happiest."
Haltzman also says adult children often feel as if they're being robbed of their golden years. Their children might have finally left the nest, and parents who dreamed of being done with racing from soccer games to piano lessons now find themselves driving to doctor visits and pharmacies.
"I don't believe any generation has focused so much on the minute-to-minute care of children as our culture," Haltzman says. "It may very well be that young adults are exhausted by the time their kid leaves the home. They can't envision putting any more energy into caring for somebody — meaning their parents."
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