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Our new life and the EX wifeSubmitted by Jan on Thu, 02/23/2006 - 9:30pm
First I want to thank anyone and everyone who reads this. This is the most difficult situation I my self have ever had to deal with. But here goes! I met a man 19 months ago, he was going through a nasty divorce at the time. He has 3 children and I have 3 children, all of which their ages are mine being 17, 12, and 5. His being 10, 7 and 5. We have been together through the entire process of his divorce and let me tell you its been one hell of a roller coater ride, because of the EX and all her immature Bullsh**. We decided to move in with each other this past august of 2005. His divorce was final in november of 2005. He has joint custody of his children and has them every other week, so we see them alot, which is a good thing. His children are very comfortable with my children, and they just adore me to pieces, well lets just say when their mother isnt around. This is where all the bad stuff comes in. I do not like her and she does not care for me either, she basically poisons the kids minds about me and my children, to the point where they feel uncomfortable even talking to me when she is around such as at school functions, or sports games etc...She sends nasty emails to my BF telling him that he isnt taking care of the children the way he should be, when he does every thing for his kids, he provides for them medically, sports,tutoring, clothing, shoes you name it, he does it, AND he pays her full amount of child support and she doesnt even have them 2 weeks out of the month, plus she DOESN"T work. Recently I made a comment in a public place about how their one child always has bruises and such whenever I see him, well a parent that knows his mother went back and told her what I said, so her BF tells me that he would appreciate it if I dont bad mouth the kids mom,(this was a horrible conversation) this really irritated me since I am always having to deal with false accusations from this woman about my children along with jealousy etc....I feel so bad for the children, and I really love the kids like they were my own, they are very close to me as well, like I said though when she isnt witnessing it, what do I do about her behavior and what she tells the children about me, its bothering me alot and its causing issues with my relationship, I feel like leaving my BF just to get away from all this stupid nonsense sh**, but I know thats what she wants, she doesnt want him, she just wants him to be miserable and alone, but if I stay I feel like I have 13 years to go before it gets better. it has gotten to the point after her rude emails about me and my children etc.. that i have tld her to never speak to me again, and she even told the children that, she said dads GF doesnt like me, so now they ask me why I am mean to their mom. I am so torn and stuck its horrible, and sad, for everyone, all because of one immature parent, well if thats what you want to call her. And for the record, I was NOT the reason of their divorce, she left him for someone else. Please help with any advice, if I need to elaborate a little more for better undersdtanding, I can do that too. Thanks everyone!!!!
I have to deal with a person like that too
Some of the things that you said sound very familiar to me. I however, don't have any kids of my own and I don't know if I would have been able to survive in the relationship if the evilness was directed at my children.
My stepson's mother hates me too. She says a lot of bad things about me to my stepson. He is always more standoffish with me and his father when his mother is around. She always tries to undermine my relationship with my stepson. I think I posted previously about how last Mother's Day, she told my stepson that he shouldn't have gotten me a present because "Dawn" is not your real mother so she doesn't deserve a present. Unfortunately, all of the bad talk only hurts the child. No matter what my stepson's mother tells him about me, he has his own feelings towards me(good ones)and that confuses him.
Does your significant other back you up? Does he confront his ex about what she says and does towards you? My husband has finally started to put his ex in her place if she does/says something horrible and not true about me. Still, she gets away with some things, as he has to pick his fights. However, since he has started to stick up for me to her face, she has gotten somewhat better. We still have issues, though, and I will not deal with her directly anymore!
Hang in there if this is what you want but know this. It will get better as the children get older as long as your significant other stands up for you!!!
Thanks Dawn
I'm glad I found this site to have wonderful people to talk to, and so far there is no negativity towards me.........LOL. Anyway, yes my BF does stick up for me, and I am so grateful to him for that, he sticks up for me so much that the ex has even told him that he now puts me ahead of their children, which is of course complete and uetter Bullsh**. I to do NOT want to deal with her anymore, it has come to the point where I have even told her not to speak to me ever, and now she has her BF relay messages to my BF (the kids dad) that I was heard saying things about her in a public place, its so pathetic its not even funny. I try SO hard not to let her or her stupid immature acts bother me, but a person can only take so much, I mean seriously how many times can you laugh something off and be like "yup, satan is at it again". After awhile it gets old, real old and tiresome. thank you very much for the reply though it really helped me alot, I bet this will be much cheaper than therapy huh? LOL.Thanks again, Jan
blended families
Jan, I think our boyfriends ex's are the same person!!! You get to the point where you feel like you are going crazy! Why can these women not leave it alone and allow the ex to go on with his life? We constantly hear that he treats my children better than his own, which is not true by any means. His children have never done without. I have struggled for over 10 yrs now raising my 3 children with no child support as their dad does everything in his power to avoid paying for them. Their father does not have access with the kids on a regular basis either, comes in and out of their lives every couple of years. If my BF's ex only knew what it was like to have the other parent not care enough to provide for his children, or not care that a couple of yrs. go by before seeing the kids. I am so sick to death of her whining and complaining and her trying to make him feel guilty about things. My BF had an injury last August and is still unable to return to work, may never be able to. His child support was lowered in the courts due to the income change and she was furious over this. She has the kids relay info back to her if my BF does anything around the house....sends emails demanding to know why he isn't working yet if he is able to do this or that. Sends nasty emails about me interfering with "her" children. I don't have anything to do with her, but we operate like a family at our home and us being the parents in our house, make our own rules. We blocked her email addy, then she started calling 9 times in an hour and 15 min, the next night was 8 times in 2 hours. Guess what her emergency was? She had some receipts for him to pay his portion for extra's that she had been refusing to give him. So now we have been legally advised to send a journal back and forth only addressing concerns of the children every 2 wks when they are here for access. That we are only to return her calls if she leaves a legitimate message on the answering machine stating its an emergency. If she doesn't do it, we will have it court ordered...we can't take her bull anymore, we deserve to have a normal family life.
ex wives
I just cant believe what im hearing..there are other people out there.feeling and going through the same thing!!!..its like someone stole a page out of my life!!!...well around here its been so crazy my husband is in iraq, and ive been dealing with his ex wife, she driving me crazy. since my husband been gone we are still on the same schedule with the kids we have kids for 3 days then she has kids for three days..(whitch i dont believe is good for kids at all, to much change all the time for them) anyway, she has come by my house every night to see the kids, to yell about schoolwork, to cry to them about breaking up with her boyfriend, she had a total melt down crying to them about some guy. standing in my kitchen.then went upstairs with the little one to see if her room was clean, then yelled at her because her bed wasn't made!!.. .every night i have them she makes up something so she comes over!...the kids get very upset after she leaves,and it takes me hours to calm them down, ive tried to talk to her about this but i get the same old same old, there her kids well this is MY HOUSE!!!...i love these kids and its killing me watching them go through this, i no there her children,and im trying to be respectful, but enough, yesterday she came by to see if they where doing there homework. i said no we havent started yet im cooking dinner and after that we all sit down(there 3 kids 1 mine) and do it together..she started screaming at the top of her lungs they do there homework right after school when they get home and that im useless,,me and the kids where so upset after she left we couldn't even eat dinner...thats when the oldest one hes 11 said please don't make me see her again.shes says mean things about you and dad and i hate her!...told him to let me think about it and when he got home from school the next day wed have a long talk...hoping to get some advice before he gets home!!
Re ex wives
Oh my goodness. I feel for you. I couldn't imagine what that must be like. I am dealing with a wicked ex too, but she would never do that. I think the reason that she has been checking in like that is because she feels that you are a better mother then her. Seems like she is a major control freak. You are right not to want that in YOUR HOUSE. Those are her children, but I think that your husband needs to set the rules here. I know he is over seas which makes things more dificult and she knows she can get away with it. You have to stand up for yourself and tell her she will no longer disrespect you in your house. If she becomes confrontational then call the police. If you have family near by have them be there.
Prayers are with you.
Oh my..
Here's my take. First, lay down the law. It is your house and you do not have to have BM in it at all. Tell her unless the kids specifically ask for her to come over, you do not want her there. It is just three days for Goodness sake. Tell her to call if she wants to talk to the kids.
As for the conversation with 11 year old. What I think is the "right" thing to do is to listen to his feelings, validate and help him see another side so that he can have empathy and still love his mom.
Are you sure you want to maintain visitation while DH is overseas, fighting for our country? You are a brave and honorable woman, truly, to take this on. I commend you. Sounds like your presence in their life is very valuable. You must take care of yourself though and setting boundaries and rules is your first order of business. Good luck and let us know what happens.
I have learned that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
–Henry David Thoreau
I am so happy that I am not alone! It's like a weight off.......
I am so relieved that there is a forum like this! I am not alone, Thank you God!!!! After separating in 1997, my high school sweetheart married another woman and in that time period produced two children. In between that time, I had two boys from a previous relationship.Upon seeing him again in 2005, we met and talked and began dating again. They had been separated, she leaving him many times during their tenure. He filed for divorce from her 3 months later. We got married a year later. Since we have gotten together she has repeatedly tried to make our life hell. She has told the children evil things about the father and myself, to the point that the child came and told us. He was 3 at the time and repeatedly said "you are a BAD DADDY" as a litany. She has sent the children to our house with pink eye, strepped throat, ringworm and any other childhood infectious disease that you can imagine. My husband and I have a 15 month old son and he received the pink eye from my stepdaughter. 4 out of 5 times that we receive them they are ill and come packed with meds. I mentioned this to my mother in law ( who cannot stand her) and she has agreed that she is a lax and irresponsible mother. Not only that she has been a CHILD CARE TEACHER for over 4 years. I am also a child care provider.
Every time my stepdaughter comes she is wearing lowcut clothes and tiny miniskirts in 40 degree weather, she is just 3 years old. A restraining order against her towards my husband has been in effect since May of last year because she assaulted him in a parking lot after cutting my stepsons hair. He had been growing it from birth and requested to both parents repeatedly to cut, after talking to her, he did so. She kicked him in the chest, punched and scratched him ALL WHILE HOLDING MY STEPDAUGHTER!!!!!! Imagine the rage inside of me. My husband is a disblaed Iraq war veteran.
Ladies, the list could go on and on. Never get involved, always show copious amounts of love to those children becuase they are confused and it is very tough on them. Just absorb all the ex's negative energy and turn into positive and focus it on those children.
Take care and take the high road.
Step kids visiting while their Dad is gone
My fiancé works several months of the year out of state. He has every other weekend with his teenage daughter for the custody arrangement. Is it within the law to require her to allow his daughter to come to our house while he is gone? If not how did you get her to do that? His daughter is upset and wants to come see me and my kids. She only uses me to give their daughter a ride at the last minute which I drop everything just so we can see her. I invite his daughter to everything we do and her mom says okay and I make plans to go and she has canceled 99/100 times.
In your situation, I don't know if she has to still bring them while he is gone so you might not want to push it. But, oh my g** her coming into your home like that is crazy.
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT let
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT let this woman in your house again. You have no obligation to let her in your house on your visitation day. It does not matter that your husband is in Iraq. You cannot, however, file any papers for your stepson or husband regarding a change in custody/visitation. This will have to be done once he returns and should be done immediately upon his return, especially if his son does not want to keep the same arrangement you currently have. Good luck to you!
Like the rest of you, I am so
Like the rest of you, I am so relieved to find that I am not alone and that the world hasn't fallen down around me. I am living with the man that I love and our relationship is taking a serious toll because of his ex. I personally dont think bad of her, many tell me that it is because I have never had to deal with her. People are always warning me about her, that she want to kill me, she keeps cursing me and calling me names, and when I come to her house to fetch my BF'S daughter, she is as nice as can be and she always tells me how my BF abandoned her and how I should watch out for him. At first I though, "Wow, someone MUST be lying here." and then I started to learn all these things of her. I am not here to complain about her, really my life revolves around her enough, I just wish I could have some advice on how I can make the situation better. The real problem boils down to the money and the children. My BF and I are paying everything for her, her rent, her car, her clothing accounts, airtime and we buy food for the house and give her money as well. (we give her money for food and she spends it on other things) I was in a bad mood one day and let my BF know what I felt of that because I work my ass off everyday. She doesnt work, has a full time maid and the child is at school until 5pm. Now I just decided that I will give her all her heart desires so that she can just not be angry and tell the child how her father abandoned her, when it was her that said we wont see her until her this or that has been paid...
When the child asks why daddy isnt there anymore, she will say because he abandoned us to be with his w***e. The truth is that I met while he was filing the papers for the divorce, how have I ruined HER life??? If I am nice about everything than they just want more out of me, if I am a total B****H then it is even worse, and it is not even got anything to do with me...please can someone out there tell me what to do? I cant leave this man, he is my everything and it will destory him. I am just really tired of being engaged to her more than to him...and the guilt she loads is killing me and I cant even bring myself down to say what it is doing to this beautiful 4 year old.
Is this an agreement for her
Is this an agreement for her to come and visit kids in your home? I don't understand how you allow her to come into YOUR house and be so disrespectful and act like she's the woman of the house. I understand they are her kids but you run your house the way you want. If your rules is they do homework after they eat then so be it. She cant tell you how to run your house regardless the kids are there. When she enter into your home RESPECT has to be enforced. No way she would come in my house acting like that.
Ex-wives and poisoning my stepchildrens minds with falsehoods
I have put up with my husbands exwife for three years now. At first she would play silly games of calling my cell then hanging up or making derogatory remarks. I never knew her number and had not met her (the kids stayed with us every other weekend, and they were wonderful), finally I called the number back and sure enough it was her. I asked her to stop immediately, she stated "it's not me placing the phone calls to you", but the calls came from her cell and her voice on my voicemails. I told her if it continued I would have no choice but to contact the police as this is the type of person I was dealing with. I let my husband here the messages, he simply stated "I told you she would soon start with you". The next day, after the police contacted her about the continued harrassement she called and left a voicemail, stating "I did not place those calls to your phone, but I do want to thank you for taking such good care of my children while they are at your house, they seem to really adore you." ( mind you she had called 37 times while I was the police station filing the complaint, and the detectives even answered the phone after about the 11th one). Needless to say, the next weekend we had the then 4 year old little girl and 13 year old boy. We caught the 13 year old at our door with his cell phone trying to record our conversations "because his mother told him to", he stated. We explained this was not appropriate, and immediately called her to let her know he can no longer have the cell phone on in our home. The 4 year old was sitting at the dinner table, and out of the blue, points at me and says "you a bitch. you and daddy sexin"....of course we immediately spoke with her, she's only 4, her 13 year old brother immediately said " you know mommies mouth". from their she started keeping the kids on our weekends, not allowing us to pick them up, accused my then 5 year old little girl of "sexually molesting" her daughter....complete and morbid lie. Later we found out that the 4 year old had actually started taking her clothes off at school and the behavior got so bad they had to call CPS on the mother, so we are assuming this is why she tried to put it on us. Well, we moved in 06, and emailed her to ask for the childrens christmas list...no reply, so I sent what i knew they liked right before we left. In 07 she took that old email and began emailing my, my husband and his mother and had changed the email to say some pretty nasty things then sent it and replied to it as if I had sent it. We have not spoken to them since(still sent packages and cards to the children), now december 2008 my husband received an email, actually 2 where she took my email address, put it as from me, to her now 16 year old son, telling him "I know your a queer, and you need counceling because I know your gay". then wrote a second one to him from my email address stating "you have been replaced, stating my husband and I's now 2 year old sons name, and saying he has replaced you, you have no place in my home". This is morbid to me, the children and I never had problems. other than a few things here and there, we all talked about them and we got along well. Why #1 would this mother write something like that to her own child????? What is wrong with her????? #2 why would she forge my email address and an email with my name, this is the third time. I did an IC3 form for cyber crime which states this is a federal crime. But seriously, what is wrong with this woman??? please tell me, what do you do about someone that goes to this extent, who knows how much farther she will go. On top of this the same day she emailed my husband this crap, she had sent me an email stating "I haven't received your request for the childrens christmas list so I'll just give it to you now, the 16 year old wants a $500.00 visa gift card from us, and the 7 year old wants a $300.00 coach purse. you need to have those here before christmas, Thank you" Now I don't mind buying them things, but I didn't ask because my husband said it would just open a door for her to start something, and over the last two years for every occassion we make a box for each of them of different things, and can only hope they like, want, and needed them. We are constantly told by my mother in law, that the oldest tells them he hasn't received anything from us sicne 2005, but the mother assures that they receive their packages as well as the random cards we send just to tell them we love and miss them.
The worst part, is my husband won't even stand up to her, especially after this and let her know this is enough. Basically doesn't even stand up for me....I understand he doesn't want to deal with it, but every year out of the blue this woman starts attacking me or my children and now attacking our son we had together....I'm trying to hard not to just shut everyone out...but seriously....
Poisoning ex's- I get it!
Oh honey! I can very much relate to your CRAZY ex story! However, first I am a little confused. So you and your husband don't see his kids at all anymore? Ever? And they don't know that you send them gifts? And a 7 year old wants a Coach Purse? Ha! Yeah right. Did you lose your rights to see them when you moved? Surely it's in the divorce judgment that you can still see them. Maybe I misread.
Anyway, I know exactly how you feel. I do not have children of my own, but the ex has pulled everything you could think of during their messy divorce. She accused my BF of raping her, beating her, and sexually molesting his own child. All after SHE moved in a convicted sex offender who had just gotten out of jail! The divorce is finally over, and luckily no one (even DFS that she called twice) didn't believe her crazy stories. It was evident she was only making them up to get the spotlight off her own BF. Anyway, we thought now things would start to calm down. NOT THE CASE. She tells his son (5) that his daddy is a horrible person, that I am a horrible person, and makes life difficult where ever she can. The divorce has been final a little over a month, and we have already had to threaten filing a motion for full custody at the advice of the guardian at litem. We currently have 45% of custody, joint legal. It is a nightmare. She tries and has tried everything in the book. The sad part is, the boy is caught in the middle. He adores me but is being told by his mother that he shouldn't like me, that she doesn't like me, and to me to leave and never come back. So, usually once he comes back after being with her for a few days, he is really confused. He will be mean to me and say horrible things, followed by "that's what my mom says". I try not to let it get to me, I know he doesn't mean them. Usually after a day or so, he is back to his normal self, loving me and playing. He is getting better, Christmas was a nightmare. So even over the last month he has improved. We just keep telling him he can have his own feelings, and that it is his mom problem that she doesn't like me, not his. We have also told him to tell her if you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything at all. We just keep reinforcing these things to him, and they begin to sink in. It is an on going battle, and will continue to be until he is a little older and can think for himself more. He is independent, so there is hope. And a terrific kid.
You must remember there is always a reason. We have been through A LOT in the last year and a half, more than I could have even imagined. And there is a lot more to come. You just have to have faith, God has a reason. I don't know your religious beliefs, but everything has a purpose whether you can see it at first or not. Pray for her, as crazy as that sounds. She ( same as mine) is leading a miserable life. For someone to take that much energy into making someone miserable, is miserable themselves. I pity my BF's ex. She has nothing better to do but to think of things to hurt her child and us. Sad that she doesn't have a life. Doesn't sound like yours does either. It's hard, to face every day wondering what's coming next.
As far as your husband, it has to be dealt with. Just like a child, they will do whatever you let them get away with. In our case, she would laugh if he said anything to her. It has to come from a judge, everything has to be done legally. I am pretty sure has a mental disorder, seriously. Either bi-polar or some sort of personality disorder. She is erie. Like accusing him of raping, beating and molesting their son, then blowing him a kiss and mouthing "I love you" right after. SICK!
So you either need to have a serious chat with your husband about talking to her, or you need to get a lawyer involved. How do his divorce papers read? About custody?
If there is a custody order
If there is a custody order in place where your H gets visitation- he gets the visitation. Take the police with you to get if you have to but the longer the kids dont hear from you the worse itll be.
I so understand how you feel!
I so understand how you feel! You can only take so much b4 you snap. I have been with my hubby for almost 4 years and married almost 2 of those years, this is the 2nd marriage
4 both of us. We have my 2 girls from my past marriage living with us and he has 3 from his in another state. You would think the fact of the mother of his kids living in another state would make things easier but it is far from it! She used to call all the time just to talk to my hubby about everything not just the kids, every time she would get into it with her family, have a break up, or even just a bad day. It drove me insane! After many big fights over this he finally realized that she needed to stop this craziness so he stopped contact with her unless it was about the kids. Well my peace has ended her and her bf have broken up and the past few days he has had calls about the most idiotic things. It is driving me crazy!! She is nuts and not only do I have to deal with her it is her mother and father who call here too just to tell my husband things he needs to do! I have spoken with them all and her mother is just as crazy as she is! When my hubby lost his job he got behind in child support so when we paid it out of our income tax the state she lives in has kept the check and told her it would be 6 months b4 she got it, which would be sept so instead of doing the math herself she keeps calling us along with her family to figure out y she hasn't gotten it. Just last week her father called and left me a message about how I need to call for her and find out what is going on with it then 20 min later she called me to fuss about it and told me "you just need to call them again to get me my money" when I told her that I am really busy right now and it would be a week or so b4 I would have the chance to (trying to be nice) she asked y I couldn't do it the next day! I am not doing it period now I work with my hubby in the business we started this year, do all the books, make all the appointments, and not to mention am always doing something at the kids school. On the other hand she doesn't work has other adults living in her home who do not work and does nothing for the kids school or anything ( I knoiw thius because they call me all the time for little things like providing them with social security numbers of the kids that she forgets to give them ) so y should I? I have had it with this woman I cannot stand her or her family anymore they disrupt my life constantly and it has got to end!
I believe my stepson hates me.
Everytime my stepson is with us, I feel like he dislikes me or feels uncomfortable around me. I'm pretty sure that his biomom feeds him false information about me, maybe to not like me. He is always distant from me, never says hi when he arrives home. He is now 9 yrs old., he became my stepson when he was 3 yrs. old. I remember one time when his biomom called my husband to tell him that his son said that I hit him on the head, that of course was not true. Was she just making that up? I have a 5yr old daughter and at first my stepson use to fight with her. I feel like his biomom feeds him bad information and probably snoops around and asks questions about what's going on in our household. One time my stepson asked me if I was happy in the relationship? I said to myself "why is he asking me that? unless his mom asked him to ask me that question. I told him yes of course I was happy...he then said "is that the truth?" I was just like yes, why are you asking and he said nothing.
-happy mom
I totally understand!! I
I totally understand!! I have two step children (ages 13 & 14 boys). The 14 yr old is terrible most of the time. His mother treats him like her significant other when he is with her, so when he stays with my Boyfriend (of 7 yrs) he thinks he is an adult and will not obey any rules. Instead lately he barely even talks. He is VERY standoffish towards me and tries in every way to make me feel not included in anything. My BF and is ex-wife have been divorced for 11 yrs and have to communicate through attorneys still (at the ex-wife request). Unfortunately, the ex-wife is a licensed psychologist and makes our life a "living hell", filling both boys heads with lies. My email is firstname.lastname@example.com if you choose to talk. Maybe we can help each other, it sounds like we have alot in common. Take Care
SD that hates me!
I also am a SM. i have 3 skids and girl 11, boy 14 and boy 8. SS 14 yr old lives with me and my hubby. 8yr SS adores me and would love to live with us. BM hates my guts and tries her hardest to turn the kids against me. She has (after 5 yrs) managed to get SD to completely write me off. It didn't use to be that bad. SD has always been stand offish with me but warms up after the first couple hours of our visitation. Recently she has turned into a terror! She has even said loudly in public as she was getting in trouble by my hubby that the only reason why he was getting on to her was because of me and that is why she doesn't like me. (It was very hurtful and embarassing). She has also told me recently that her mom said that I did some type of "voodoo" ritual to make BD fall in love with me and I took him away from his family. Of course that is not true! In fact she cheated on him and that is why they are divorced. I am to the point where I feel no emotional connection with my SD and if I never saw her again that would be ok. I feel like I am being bullied by an 11y/o! This has strained our marriage because of course my hubby loves his D and wants us to have a good relationship but believe me it will NEVER happen! I know I cannot stop BM from telling all her lies about me but how do I live my life like this??? HELP!
I know exactly how you feel!
I know exactly how you feel! My SD is 13 now. I've been with her dad for the last 8 years and she just cannot stand me. We used to get along really well in the beginning of the relationship but I think that having her mom tell her crazy stuff about me over the years has finally gotten to her. I haven't seen SD in over 2 months and it's absolutely fine with me. I have no feelings towards her at all. I know it makes my husband sad that we don't have any kind of relationship but he also knows her mom has had so much influence on her so there's nothing really anyone can do. My advice to you would be to just let it go. Be polite and civil when she's around but don't bend over backwards trying to make it work with her because it will just eat you up. There's no way you can compete with what BM is telling her daughter.
Learning to tell self----enough already!
This is mey first write in. I'm a SM to two SD for the past 8 years. It's been hell! I've have bent over backwards and then some. I'm learning to let go. It's hard knowing that my DH needs me to do and help out even though the girls are 20 and 22. Yes, their BM is bi-polor and has influenced them against me, even though the girls say she has not. The girls are so much like their BM that their behavior is frustrating. I'm bitter to the point of not even wanting them in my home. I didn't think I would ever become that kind of person. I'm glad I have found this site and know others have some understanding.
Wow! I have finally found
Wow! I have finally found somewhere, even though it is not really a "place" to vent as a stepmom. I have been married 4 years to my husband and we have custody of his 5 chidren. BM is crazy and is also bipolar. 3 out of 5 kids are bipolar. One is in a theraputic boarding school right now because of her illness. My husband is the love of my life, and if I did not love him so much I would run so fast! There are days I do not know how I function with all that life has handed me. My husband is much older than me and has not been physically healthy for the last 16 months which means that I have been a single parent for the kids that are not "really" mine!! Because of the age difference and the amount of energy and work that these kids require, I don't think that I would have any of my own and I am ok with that. I just need people who understand what it is like for us SM!!! My husband supports me soooo much, but I just can't expect him to truly get it. Please reach out and help me!
I encourage you to sign up and become a member.
It sounds like you have a tough road to travel.
I can't imagine having 3 bipolar stepkids and a bipolar biomom.
Brave Soul
You are very very brave, I commend you. And you said, "...I don't think that I would have any of my own and I am ok with that." That is amazing. I mean, I would not be okay with that, but of course that is me personally, I could not just take care of kids that are not mine and not want to have my own and feel the pride in raising my own child. You must be doing an awesome job, I am so glad to see that your husband supports you!!! That is invaluable!
I thought I was the only one going through this
My boyfriend's ex wife is incomprehensibly evil.
She has turned her oldest daughter (12) against me and my daughter.
When I am around this girl, she usually will not even speak to me.
My boyfriend doesn't really take up for me in regard to her.
Makes excuses for her probably because he's afraid to be taken back to court by his crazy ex. She has already taken him there once because his daughter said he "threw her against a wall".
Thankfully this accusation was ruled out by the court and the ex wife was given a strong reprimand by the judge, but even that is not stopping her from poisoning her kids against me, and possibly him as well.
Unfortunately no court can really prevent that.
I love my boyfriend very much but it really hurts not being able to go around him when his kids are there. When I do go around them, mostly the older daughter who is just like the ex, I'm ignored and feel terrible when my boyfriend doesn't take up for me.
I don't know what to do. He won't marry me i'm sure because of the kids and his fear of the ex turning them against him.
I have to admit, she probably would!
i'm so sorry for your pain, but it's good to know that I'm not alone.
I think I have it Worse!
My husband's ex flipped out as soon as we got married. She got my email address and started sending me vicious emails under an alias, talking as if it were her, she just doesn't use her own name so that we cannot prove it. She says she is still sleeping with him. She tells me that he calls her all of the time and tells her how "dumb" I am and all these other hateful things. She tells me that their daughters hate me, which is so untrue. Basically, she just wants me to doubt him and think that he still is having a relationship with her behind my back. She will then call and leave him phone messages regarding the most irrelevant things just to get to me. She acts like everything is fine between them. Meanwhile, he has had no contact with her for months. At least that is what he tells me and I really do believe him. He hates what this is doing to me and he knows that if he did have anything to do with her behind my back he would lose me. We are going to court to hopefully have a judge see what she is up to and get someone to be in the middle so that there is zero communication between my husband and her. What she wants more than anything is to have him call her. Even if it is for negative reasons.
I Totally Understand You
Your story sounds just like my life. I have been with my husband who is the love of my life for 3 years and we have been married 7 months and since meeting him I have had this frustration in me that I just do not understand - some days I think it would be easier to just end the relationship than have to put up with his ex anymore. Ever since our first date his ex has been texting, calling, emailing and carrying on like a nut. She used to send messages trying to get him back with little kisses at the end but I stopped that around xmas by cutting her down with a reply text. But she has recently started finding any little excuse to call or text my husband - there is always something she just has to tell him. Although my husband does stick up for me he is also pretty civil to her when she calls because he is scared of her not letting him see his kids (which she would never do because she can't wait to get rid of them). She always talks badly to my two step daughters (7 & 10) about me and my husband and when they come to stay it always takes them a while to warm to me, they just seem to ignore me and act as if I don't exist and I get really upset because when they are with us I am the one who dresses them, feeds them, takes them to birthday parties etc. When the kids go home his ex sits them down and they go over everything we have said and done so she knows everything going on in our life. I just don't know how to deal with her always in our life. I feel like it is my husband and his two wifes and he has even said that before because she contacts him that much! Help what can I do to get over this????
my husband and i have been together 3years. we have an 15 mo old son together. he has a 5 year old daughter with his ex wife. she has been hateful and malicious from the start. but we like to stay 2 steps ahead. my husband hates his ex wife for a number of reasons. but mainly because she likes to try and use scare tactics in order to get him where she wants him which is no way for any person to live, but because of her behaviour. she has to go through me and my phone in order to communicate with him for anything.and it has cut out alot of bull. she hates having to go through me and she hates even more that she has no control of the situation. when she calls i do give my husband the messages when she leaves them but if she tries to pull that i'm gonna harass him until he answers crap then she gets to hear from me instead. and i tell her that if she calls and leaves threateing voice mails she will not be allowed to talk to my husband. that if she has something to say to him she can patiently waite for him to call her back. and i let her know if she contiues to act rudely then we will take our recordings to court and press charges on her for harassment. we also bought this device from radio shck that plugs into the cell phone and a casstte recorder and now all conversations are recorded. so she has no choice now but to act politley when she calls or she will suffer the consequences. and if it doesn't pertain to their daughter she don't need to be calling nagging about someone or somethings from their past like she use to. and so you just got to get tough take over and learn what your rights are and hope you husband loves you and trust you enough at being able to handle being put in the middle to back her off.
It sounds like too much work for you and he also sounds incredibly cowardly that a grown man can set his ex straight. Your better off changing your number and just don't give it to her.
My ex had 2 children. A boy
My ex had 2 children. A boy and a girl, he was 5 and she was 8. His daughter loved me, his son hated me. (They had two different moms) Bri's mom was great, we got along very well, and worked together with her. Bry's mom was impossible to get along with and hated my guts, she was extremely jealous of my 2 kids and Bry was too. She always expected him to be first priority over everything. Hate towards us radiated from him for several years, despite how nice I was and what I did for him. I've always treated every child I've been with like I would my own, (even him) despite his behavior towards me. He did warm up to me occaisionally, and that helped me to see what I already knew. It was the things she was telling him that made him the way he was towards me and my kids. That became more obvious over time. He called me mom one day, and she flipped! That confirmed it too. I think I was in it for about 5 years and things started getting better. There's a gene pool somewhere near by where all of these crazy B****es come from, but hang in there it does get better. Kids can't pick their moms and in time, they see the BS for what it is. They get old enough and respect and love you more for being there than they did when they couldn't see through it. Crazy mom's are impossible and don't respond to it. She isn't your ex, she's his. You didn't marry it, she's not your problem. I told the crazy one that, and sure-I felt bad about it and yeah-she got really upset and really mad, but it ended my problems with her. Be the bigger woman and be the better mom if she's not willing to be. They need someone to look up to, and they also need to recognize that the behavior of their mom isn't okay. You don't have to point that out to them, they most-likely already know it. They just need to know they can rise above it.
I finally ended the relationship with their father, and my *daughter* frequently comes and visits. When I see my *son* I treat him no different. I just wasn't happy with their father and it had nothing to do with them. They'll always be my kids and they know it.
Oh the dreaded ex...
I have to deal with the manipulation of an my husband's ex-wife too and it is no fun. One of things that I realized too late though is that we can't control her behaviour but I can control mine. Having the support of your spouse and agreeing to deal with these issues in a unified way is crucial. We didn't and so we live in separate houses now. I couldn't cope with my husband being bullied by his ex all of the time and the games that she played. I knew that his behaviour would not change unless he made that choice but I also knew that my reaction had to change for my own sanity and happiness...and it did! Good luck and stay unified in your response...it isn't easy that is for sure!!!


text:
Jump to navigation
Mississippee Valley Textile Museum
3 Rosamond Street E
Almonte, ON
Lecture by Ronald Marchese, Emeritus, University of MInnesota, Duluth Read more »
Canadian War Museum
1 Vimy Drive
Ottawa, ON
James Last (who served as Senior Archaeologist for Military Sites for Parks Canada) will discuss the defensive function, innovative design, past occupants, and present role of Martello towers in Kingston which are deemed the most sophisticated examples found anywhere in the British Empire. Read more »
University of Ottawa: Desmarais Building
55 Laurier Ave. E.
Ottawa, ON K1N 6N5
Bring your kids! Fill your ancient passport; activities for all ages! Learn to write in ancient Greek or Egyptian Hieroglyphics, learn to tie a proper Roman toga, participate in a Greek mythology scavenger hunt and a mini excavation! A small reception will be offered to fuel your quest for knowledge! Read more »
Hellenic Community Centre
1315 Prince of Wales Drive
Ottawa, ON K2C 1N2
Sheppard Lecture
Reception following
Additional Sponsors are the Parnassos Hellenic Cultural Society and the Canadian Institute in Greece (Ottawa Chapter) Read more »
Amphitheatre, Saint Paul University
223 Main Street
Ottawa, ON K1S 1C4
Joukowsky Lecture
Additional Sponsors are the Canadian Institute for Mediterranean Studies, the Faculty of Theology, Saint Paul University, and the Embassy of Israel Read more »
Paterson Hall 303, Carleton University
1125 Colonel By Drive
Ottawa, ON K1S 5B6
Kershaw Lecture
Additional Sponsor is the College of the Humanities, Carleton University Read more »
Museum of Classical Antiquities - 3rd Floor, Desmarais Building
55 Laurier Ave. E.
Ottawa, ON K1N 6N5
In honour of National Archaeology Day, the Museum of Classical Antiquities at the University of Ottawa, in collaboration with the Embassy of Greece and the AIA Ottawa Chapter, is hosting a new exhibition on Greek reproductions. Reproducing the Past: Replicas from Ancient Greece: Celebrating Seventy Years of Diplomatic Relations Between Greece and Canada is taking place to recognize the friendship between Greece and Canada while highlighting Greek history, with an emphasis on reproductions and their effects on academia and the world. Read more »
Library and Archives Canada
395 Wellington St
Ottawa, ON
Laura Gagne explores what Middle Bronze Age handmade pottery reveals about its Cypriot makers and identifies how and when learning the skills of the potter and ceramic decorator begin. Using mostly White Painted Ware as evidence, Dr. Gagne identifies six levels of directive participation by experienced potters whose trainees range in age from young children to adults. The lecture explores new ground in the field of ancient ceramics. Read more »
Library and Archives Canada
395 Wellington St
Stephen Batiuk, University of Toronto, discusses the role that viticulture (grape and wine production) played in the Early Bronze Age (3200-2000 BCE) migration of the Early Transcausasian Culture into eastern and Syro-Anatolia. The migrants were able to maintain cultural independence in their new home regions for almost 1000 years. The archaeological record reflects the changes that occur as wine transforms from a luxury item to a secular commodity in the local political economies of the time. Read more »
Canadian War Museum
1 Vimy Place
Jonathan Moore, Parks Canada, reports on two ships that capsized on August 8, 1813 which now form a National Historic Site managed by the city of Hamilton and Parks Canada.. The history of the Hamilton and Scourge and the multi-faceted archaeological survey of these two fascinating shipwrecks over a three year period highlights the important work of the Underwater Archaeology Service of Parks Canada. Please note the early lecture time! Read more »
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text:
Most recent articles:
A selection of links to press-releases, news-articles and documents about agriculture:
- A team of experts from the University of Hohenheim, GrainPro, Inc., and IRRI have designed a new rice dryer - International Rice Research Institute (IRRI)(Philippines), March 26, 2014
- Cabinet Office research finds happy farmers - National Farmers Union (NFU)(UK), March 21, 2014
- FAO initiative brings global land cover data under one roof for the first time - Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations (UN-FAO), March 17, 2014
- Disinfecting Honey Comb with Ozone - U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA)- Agricultural Research Service, March 13, 2014.
- Scientist SWAT team combats stink bug invasion - Washington State University College of Agricultural, Human, and Natural Resource Sciences (CAHNRS), WSU Extension and the Agricultural Research Center, March 12, 2014.
- Family Farming in the United States - United States Department of Agriculture, Economic Research Service: 'Amber Waves' magazine, Releases for the week of: March 03, 2014 to March 07, 2014.
- Genomics for Judges - Educating Illinois Judges On How Genetic Information Can Impact Court Decisions - University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign - The Institute for Genomic Biology, e-Newsletter, March 4, 2014.
- 2012 Census of Agriculture: Preliminary Highlights for Kansas - K-State Research and Extension News (Kansas State University, USA), March 3, 2014.
- Offshore wind turbines could weaken hurricanes, reduce storm surge - University of Deleware Research News, February 27, 2014.
- UC Davis News: Campus ranks #1 in agriculture again - UC Davis News Service (California, USA), February 27, 2014.
- Purdue research: Lots of 'brain waste' among highly educated immigrants - Purdue University - West-Lafayette (Indiana-US), Agriculture News, February 24, 2014.
- Members: Your guide to the EU agenda - National Farmers Union (NFU)(UK), February 20, 2014.
- FAO rules out human-to-animal transmission of influenza A(H7N9) - Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations (UN-FAO), February 19, 2014.
- Millions hear GM success story (a news-article about the Sainsbury's Lab's late-blight-resistant potato) - National Farmers Union (NFU)(UK), February 17, 2014.
- Biocontrol Wasps Unlikely to Threaten Non-target Insects - Entomological Society of America (ESA), February 4, 2014
- Drone on the range Agricultural uses for drones endless - University of Missouri Cooperative Media Group - College of Agriculture Food and Natural Resources, January 30, 2014.
- Farming for bees - what farmers can do - National Farmers Union (NFU)(UK), January 17, 2014.
- Medical imaging helps reveal lasting impacts of soil compaction - American Society of Agronomy, Madison (WI), January 15, 2014.
- Senegal nears first victory in war on tsetse fly - Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations (UN-FAO), January 10, 2014.
- EPA Seeks Nominations for Prestigious Annual Environmental Quality Awards; [..] - The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, December 26, 2013.
- ELCA disapproves of a prohibition list of invasive species uniformly applying all over Europe - The European Landscape Contractors Association (ELCA), December 18, 2013.
- Bed Bugs can Survive Frost but Cold can Still Kill Them - Entomological Society of America (ESA), December 8, 2013.
- EPA and DOE Release Annual Fuel Economy Guide with 2014 Models - U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), December 3, 2013.
- NCGA, Allies Call for Farm Bill Resolution - National Corn Growers Association (NCGA, USA), November 26, 2013
- Zinc Sulfate, Sugar Alcohol Zinc Sprays Improve Apple Quality - American Society for Horticultural Science (ASHS), November 18, 2013
- You can find more news-articles and document review in the Agrolinker's FORUM BOARDS
News-release archive about agro-scientific issues:
- You can send your agro-scientific press-releases to (remove the Xes): firstname.lastname@example.com (please, add also a link to the page where the press-release is published).
Some favourite links about international @gricolture, landscaping & @gronews from the internet
'Italian agriculture in figures'(annual economic survey from INEA)
ICE - Italtrade - The Made in Italy Official Portal
Italy-America Chamber of Commerce (New York - USA)
The review of the Italian Ministry of Agriculture (English page, partially in Italian)
GARR: The Italian Academic & Research Network
Italian Life Sciences Federation (FISV):
comprises the following societies AAI · ABCD · AGI · SIBBM · SIBE · SIBV · SICA · SIF .
SIGA · SIMA · SIMGBM · SINS · SIP · SIPaV
Italian Phytopathological Society (SIPaV)
Abstracts of papers published on the Journal of Plant Patology (->SIPaV)
Italian Society of Agricultural Genetics (SIGA)
Italian Society for Agronomy (SIA)
Mediterranean Agro-industries Institute of Bari (MAIB
International Dairy Cattle Show (Cremona)
Italian National Association of Holstein Breeders (ANAFI)
Italian Environmental Agency (ISPRA)
Euraxess.it - Italian version of the European Commission's portal 'Euraxess', with informations & jobs about research in Italy
Bomarzo (Viterbo): The park of monsters
(photos of sculptures from a Renaissance strange italian garden)
'Appia Antica' regional park - Rome
'Groane' park - Milan
Istituto Valorizzazione Salumi Italiani (a consortium to promote the gastronomic heritage of italian processed meat products)


text:
The present invention relates to a microvalve usable primarily as a pilot lve in pneumatic controls. The prior art solenoid valves used in this field can be miniaturized only at considerably high cost. The microvalve of the invention consists of a first part (1), on the pressure side, with a diaphragm structure (3) as the movable closing component and a second part (2) with an outlet aperture (7) and a seat (5). The diaphragm structure has heating elements and is coated on one side with a material with differing coefficients of heat expansion, in such a way that heating causes the diaphragm to bend against the pressure applied on it. At least one of the two parts has a recess (6) of defined depth arranged in such a way that with the valve closed hollows are formed which are heated by the heating elements. The microvalve described can economically produced with semiconductor technology means and has improved switching properties on account of its combined thermo-mechanical/thermo-pneumatic method of operation.
1. A microvalve, comprising:
first and second housing sections made of microstructurable material and sealingly connected to each other along marginal portions, at least one of said housing sections defining at least one recess in a surface facing the other of said housing sections to define a substantially enclosed fluid chamber, one of said housing sections being provided with an opening leading into said fluid chamber and surrounded by a annular protrusion extending into said fluid chamber and defining valve seat means, the other of said housing sections comprising flexible diaphragm means movable by selective heat energization into and out of engagement with said valve seat means, said diaphragm means being made of a material having a first coefficient of thermal expansion and being coated with a material having a coefficient of thermal expansion different from said first coefficient, said other housing section being further provided with selectively energizable heating means disposed in said fluid chamber for assisting in the movement of said diaphragm means by heating and expanding fluid in said chamber.
2. The microvalve of claim 1 wherein said recess has a maximum depth of 40 μm.
3. The microvalve of claim 2, wherein the microstructurable material is silicon.
4. The microvalve of claim 3, wherein the coating material of the diaphragm means is SiO2 and the coating is applied to a surface of the diaphragm means facing said one housing section.
5. The microvalve of claim 3, wherein the first and second housing sections of the microvalve are two chips connected by adhesion.
6. The microvalve of claim 3, wherein the coating material of the diaphragm means is Si3 N4 and the coating is applied to a surface of the diaphragm means facing said one housing section.
7. The microvalve of claim 3, wherein said first and second housing sections of the microvalve are two chips connected by silicon bonding.
8. The microvalve of claim 7, wherein the heating means comprises implanted conductive strips.
9. The microvalve of claim 7, the heat energization is controllable.
10. The microvalve of claim 7, wherein the diaphragm means in cross-section is configured is a bridge.
11. The microvalve of claim 7, wherein the heating means comprises polysilicon strips.
12. The microvalve of claim 7, wherein the diaphragm means in cross-section is configured as a cross.
13. The microvalve of claim 7, wherein the coating material of the diaphragm means is a metal.
14. The microvalve of claim 1, wherein it comprises a pilot valve for use in pneumatic controls.
The present invention relates to a microvalve which may be used in pneumatic applications, for instance.
Pneumatic controls are widely used in many fields of technology, for they are characterized by high longevity, operational safety, and large forces. An electro-mechanical transducer (actuating element) actuated by an electrical signal, acts directly or by way of several pressure stages on the actual valve stage (control element) which, in turn, manipulates a predetermined parameter (pressure, rate of flow) in a desired manner.
In pneumatics, the major control elements used for main or master stages are primarily cylindrical sluice or slide gate valves and, for directly actuated valves or pilot valves, cylindrical seat valves. The solenoid has found wide acceptance as an actuator, for its kind of drive is characterized by high operative efficiency and simple structure. The dimensions of a conventional solenoid valve made of plastic components are about 25�25�40 mm; such a valve operates at pressures up to 8 bar and, when energized, requires about 2.5 W.
For reasons of reducing costs, lower materials consumption, increased flexibility and improved switching characteristics, the trend towards miniaturization may also be observed for certain applications in the field of pneumatics. The size of pneumatic microvalves is increasingly determined by the dimensions of the solenoid, the size of the coil of which may only be reduced at significant increases in costs at unavoidably lower efficiency. Miniature solenoid valves (10�10�15 mm1) made by precision engineering techniques are at least five times more expensive than conventional miniature valves.
A silicon valve made by micro-structure technology for controlling the flow rate of a liquid is known from European Patent 208,386. The valve consists of a first planar portion having an outlet opening and a second portion having a planar surface which, for opening and closing the outlet opening, is moveable relative thereto. For moving the closure member, an external force is applied to it, for instance by a plunger. The entire structure required for this valve is very complex.
Other actuators for moving a diaphragm closure member in microvalves are known from German Patent 39 19 876. In this context, piezo-electrically and thermo-electrically operating coatings of the diaphragm and electro-static and thermo-fluidic actuation are to be especially mentioned. Particularly during the opening phase of a valve against abutting pressure, a greater force is initially necessary than during the ensuing opening operation. This is a requirement which cannot be met by the actuators mentioned supra.
Furthermore, piezo-electric and electro-static microvalves cannot satisfy the operational conditions demanded by pneumatics. In order to switch at the high pressures (1-7 bar) prevalent in pneumatics, very high control voltages would be required. Since the strokes attainable with such valves are small, the valve openings would have to be large to provide the requisite flow rate (1-30 l/min). Problems would arise with contaminations (oil, water) by the operating medium (oil-contaminated moist pressurized air). Furthermore, icing may occur. This is less critical with thermal valves as their closure diaphragm becomes very hot. The attainable stroke is larger.
Thermo-fluidic actuation is disadvantageous in that, without additional annoying means, the cooling process proceeds very slowly (low dynamics).
From European Patent 0,512,521 a microvalve is known which is made of a micro-structurable material and consists of a first part positioned at the pressure side and having, as a closure member, a diaphragm structure, and of a second part connected to the first part and provided with at least one output opening and at least one valve seat, at least one of the two parts being provided with one or more recesses of defined depth. At one surface, the diaphragm structure is coated in such a manner with a material having an elongation coefficient different from that of the diaphragm material, that, when heated, the diaphragm structure is deflected in the direction of the abutting pressure. For this purpose, the diaphragm structure is provided with one or more heating elements. The operational principle of this microvalve is based upon the thermo-mechanical effect resulting from the different thermic elongation coefficients of the diaphragm material and its coating.
This operation is disadvantageous in that the high initial forces required in pneumatic controls during opening of the valve can be only insufficiently developed.
It is the task of the present invention to provide a microvalve of the kind referred to which is suitable for industrial pneumatic controls, which may be fabricated in a cost-efficient manner by means known in semi-conductor technology, and which has improved switching characteristics.
The task is solved in accordance with the invention by the microvalve consisting of two parts.
The first part which is positioned at the higher pressure (pin) side (on the pressure side) is provided with a diaphragm structure coated at one surface with a material possessing a coefficient of elongation different from that of the material from which the diaphragm is made. The difference in the coefficients of elongation of the diaphragm material and of the coating material, as well as the spatial arrangement of the coating on the diaphragm, determine the direction of deflection of the diaphragm structure. The diaphragm structure may be coated completely or at defined areas only. It is, however, important that the coating be applied in such a way that as the diaphragm structure is heated, it will deflect in the direction of the abutting pressure (pin). Moreover, the diaphragm structure is provided with one or more heating elements.
The second part is connected to the first part at its side facing the lower pressure (pout). It is provided with one or more outlet openings and valve seats associated therewith.
In addition, either the closure member of the first part or substrate areas of the second part, or both parts, are provided with one or more recesses of defined depth, all recesses being positioned to be completely covered by the corresponding other part when the valve is closed. Thus, enclosed cavities are formed in which heating elements are provided. In the present context, enclosed cavities are intended to mean cavities the margins of the recesses of which have gaps of a few um.
The heating elements thus heat up the volume of gas or liquid within the recesses. As regards the arrangement of the recesses, it is important that, with the valve closed, they form an enclosed volume of liquid or gas which may be heated quickly by the heating elements. Preferably, the depth of the recesses is at most 40 μm.
The effective principle of operation of the microvalve in accordance with the invention is a combination of thermo-mechanics and thermo-pneumatics. When deenergized, the valve is closed. As the diaphragm is heated, a force is built up (thermo-mechanical effect) as a result of the thermic expansion of the diaphragm, which deflects the diaphragm in the direction of the higher pressure pin. Depending upon its thickness, the coating may act in support of this force (bi-metal effect), or it may simply act to define the direction of the deflection of the diaphragm. At the same time, the quantity of liquid or gas (e.g. air) within the recesses below the diaphragm is heated. As this fluid can escape by narrow gaps only, an overpressure is developed within the recesses. This results in an additional thermo-pneumatic force acting briefly upon the diaphragm. Thus, the valve can be opened against higher pressures than would be possible with a purely thermo-mechanically generated force. Furthermore, compared to a purely thermo-mechanical drive, the speed at which the valve opens is significantly increased. Because of the improved heat utilization, the efficiency of the valve is enhanced as well. As the diaphragm moves upwardly, the thermo-pneumatic effect is reduced; that is to say, when the valve is open, only thermo-mechanical forces are active. A further improvement results from the full pressure difference (pin >>pout) being effectire only at the initial instant of the valve opening. For instance, a control chamber is to be filled with pressurized air so as to actuate a larger valve stage. Accordingly, the switching operation terminates once equilibrium pressure (plin =pout) has been reached. Thereafter, only the elastic force of the diaphragm and pressure drops possible as a result of leakage need be compensated. In this state, the supply of energy may be significantly reduced as compared to conventional solenoid valves. Several heating elements may be provided to adjust the heating power and, hence, the thermo-mechanical force, to given requirements.
The micro-mechanical valves here described are closed by turning off the heating elements. This operation is accelerated significantly by "venting" the control chamber (again pin >>pout), as by, for instance, a second microvalve, as the pressure abutting above (at the pin side) simply pushes the diaphragm down (to the pout side).
As the micro-mechanical valves may be fabricated in a manner similar to IC's, they are significantly more advantageous in terms of cost than are miniature solenoid valves. Furthermore, the size of a microvalve, even including its housing, is no more than one-tenth the size of a conventional miniature valve.
The preferred micro-structurable material used is silicon which, because of its physical characteristics, is particularly well suited for the fabrication of microvalves. For instance, the two parts of the microvalve may be chips connected by silicon bonding or adhesion. Moreover, elements which may be fabricated very economically in large quantities by silicon technology.
The preferred coating material of the diaphragm structure is a metal. Compared to micro-structurable materials, such as, for instance, silicon, metals possess relatively large thermal elongation coefficients. The metal coating may, for instance, be applied as shown in the embodiment in order to provide the deflection in the direction of the abutting pressure (pin). The coating may be applied during manufacture by sputtering, vapor deposition, or galvanically.
A silicon dioxide (SiO2) or silicon nitride (Si3 N4) coating applied to the surface of the silicon diaphragm facing the lower pressure (pout side), has been found to be particularly advantageous. With diaphragm thicknesses up to 12 μm, the thickness of the coating may be up to 500 nanometers. The diaphragm expands as it is heated by the heating elements. As the diaphragm remains cold at the initial instant, the silicon structure will buckle because of the elongation of the silicon itself. The SiO2 or Si3 N4 on the lower pressure pout surface causes the diaphragm to deflect exclusively in the direction of the abutting high pressure pin, as these materials have a significantly lower elongation coefficient than mono-crystalline silicon.
The major advantage of the coating material resides in its low energy consumption compared to metal coatings. A metal coating would act as a thermal conductor, that is to say, the dissipation of heat to the chip by way of the diaphragm is very large. Therefore, at a similar heating power, a diaphragm structure without metal agents reaches a significantly higher temperature. In the present context, temperature is the variable which determines the strength of the thermo-mechanical effect.
Valves provided with silicon dioxide or silicon nitride coatings operate at low heating power and have better dynamic properties (switching times in the range of a few msec) than valves provided with metal coatings. In the embodiment, the coating serves only to influence the direction of the deflection, whereas the force directed against the outer pressure is generated by the thermal elongation of the silicon diaphragm itself.
A preferred embodiment of the microvalve in accordance with the invention provides for heating elements which are implanted conductive strips or polysilicon strips. These strips may be applied by semi-conductor technology processes.
Preferably, the diaphragm resembles a bridge (i.e. it is a strip clampingly retained at both sides) or a cross allowing the pressure medium to pass as unimpededly as possible when the valve is opened.
By controlling the energy supply and, hence, the generation of heat the total energy consumption of a pneumatic control comprising microvalves may be significantly reduced compared to conventional valves. As stated supra, a large generation of heat is required only during the initial opening moment.
The preferred field of use of the microvalve in accordance with the invention is as a pilot valve in pneumatic controls.
An embodiment of the microvalve defined in the claims will now be explained with reference to the drawing.
FIG. 1 is a schematic presentation of a possible embodiment of the microvalve in accordance with the invention.
The microvalve consists of two silicon chips 1 and 2, which are connected in a conventional manner by silicon bonding at the waver plane. The upper chip 1 (at the pressure side) includes a moveable closure member 3 formed as a diaphragm structure made by anisotropic etching (it may, for instance, be shaped like a bridge or cross). The diaphragm is provided with heating elements (for instance, implanted conductive strips or polysilicon strips) and is selectively coated with a metal 4 (for instance, Al or Au, by sputtering, vapor deposition or galvanically) on its surface provided with recesses. For reasons of insulation, a further insulating layer (for instance, thermic SiO2) is provided between the metal coating and the heating elements. The lower chip 2 is provided with an outlet opening 7, the anisotropically etched valve seat 5 and several recesses of defined depth 6, which may be made by isotropic as well as anisotropic etching. The recesses have a maximum dimension of 400�600�40 um and are positioned to be covered by the diaphragm structure.
A second microvalve in accordance with the invention may be applied for venting the control chamber.
Patent Citations
Referenced by
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text:
Of or pertaining to that which is a small, white and or fluffy animal, generally a cat. male
aww teh lee il ting es blu idint it
додав Pierone 5 Серпень 2007
8 more definitions
Top Definition
An extremely dope rapper best known for his debut album, "Below the Heavens," which produced by DJ Exile. Based out of L.A., he has also collaborated with Mainframe to produce "Johnson&Johnson" and with Ta'Raach to produce "The Piece Talk (C.R.A.C. Knuckles)."
Go download "Below the Heavens" by Blu & Exile right now...
додав ElBarto45 10 Січень 2009
one sexy MOFO !! Someone I know called Blu, inspired my thoughts
OMG! ur too sexy to be real
додав Sphynx 2 Лютий 2005
A team in the pwnage game Team-Fortress 2 that stands for Builders League United
Person 1: Hey What team should we join?
Person 2: Lets go blu!
Person 2: Lets go blu!
додав Cory The Taco 13 Березень 2008
A word that originates in South East London used to describe a £5 note.
Oi blud, beg u spot me a blu 'til 2moro.
додав datseboi 15 Липень 2006
when your Girlfriend accidentally says blush much? too fast
Girl: Your such a hottie Derik.
Boy: Stopppp itttt.
Girl: (Say it fast) blush much - blus uch - blus......
Boy: Stopppp itttt.
Girl: (Say it fast) blush much - blus uch - blus......
додав juicyBEAST626 7 Травень 2015
The biggest asshole you will ever meet. Hes a fucking cock sucker who just wants sex. BEWARE
Do you know Blu?
Yeah! He's pathetic!
Yeah! He's pathetic!
додав swwaaaaaag 26 Вересень 2014
n. A blu-ray disc; a dis recorded in high definition that can be played on a blu-ray player
adj. A disc recorded in blu-ray
adj. A disc recorded in blu-ray
"Hey, what blus do you have?"
"Let's watch Ironman. Do you have it in blu?"
"I just picked up Batman Begins. You want to watch?"
"Only if it's blu."
"Let's watch Ironman. Do you have it in blu?"
"I just picked up Batman Begins. You want to watch?"
"Only if it's blu."
додав blu-ray101 11 Травень 2009


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By Jim GaramoneAmerican Forces Press Service
TALLIL, Iraq, April 14, 2004 A visit with foreign members of the coalition force in Iraq was the first stop for the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff here today.
Air Force Gen. Richard B. Myers visited with Italian members of the Multinational Division Southeast. Italian Brig. Gen. Gian Marco Chiarini, the commander of the 132nd "Ariete" Brigade briefed the American officer and his staff.
The brigade, which is a mix of regular army and police, patrols the area in and around Nasiriyah. There are 2,900 Italian troops and also 600 Romanian and Portuguese soldiers in the unit.
The brigade is based outside Tallil air field and named its area Camp Mittica after a World War II hero of the brigade. The unit has conducted 1,200 patrols and arrested 168 individuals.
The brigade was involved in some of the violence sparked by extremist Shiia cleric Muqtada al-Sadr. On April 6, Sadr's militia took the three bridges in Nasiriyah that gave the U.S. Marines such a problem in 2003. The Italian unit took to the street and took back the bridges. Italian army Capt. Luigi Paolo Scollo led the unit that took back the bridges. He told Myers that three rocket-propelled grenades hit his armored personnel carriers as the unit fought for the bridges, but that two were duds.
"You were very lucky," Myers said to the captain. "But you were also very professional in capitalizing on that luck."
Myers noted that the coalition has confiscated thousands and thousands of RPGs since coming into Iraq. "Everybody in Iraq must have an RPG," Myers said.
"I think it must be a wedding gift," the captain joked.
American Air Force and Army units are based at Tallil, although the number has dropped since the logistics center moved to Balad. In addition, there is a South Korean and Dutch contingent on the base.
During the meeting, Myers told the Italians that he appreciated them being in Iraq. "By all reports, your performance has been outstanding," Myers said. "Your performance has been absolutely up to the challenge."
An Italian officer said that years of working with the American Army in NATO exercises and in operations in the former Yugoslavia have made things much easier. "We all know how we work together," he said. "We've done it in training. We don't have to learn how to work together in combat."
Related Sites:Joint Chiefs of StaffU.S. Central CommandMultinational Divisions in IraqState Department Background Notes on Italy
Related Articles:Myers Meets with Kuwaiti Leaders, Thanks Them for SupportMyers Explains U.S. Position in Iraq to Arab AudienceEffort in Iraq 'Going to Take Time,' Myers SaysMyers Meets with Bahraini Leaders During Middle East Trip


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For Immediate Release Contact: Gail Towns or Tara Strickland
732.987.2266 732.987.2291
firstname.lastname@example.com firstname.lastname@example.com
Georgian Court University Event Explores Social Work-Related Art
Lakewood, N.J., Mar. 30, 2010—Social work and creative expression often go hand-in-hand, according to noted artist Lou Storey, the guest speaker for "Uniting Social Work and Art," the April 11 seminar hosted by the Georgian University Social Work Alumni Club on the university's main campus in Lakewood.
Mr. Storey's appearance is part of an afternoon of activities sponsored, in part, by Phi Alpha Zeta Nu, GCU's Social Work Honor Society. Their "Springtime Tea," modeled after the tenets outlined in the bestselling nonfiction book, Three Cups of Tea, is slated for 12:00 noon to 4:00 p.m. in the historic Mansion on campus. The free event includes a Chinese auction, a 50/50 raffle, and refreshments, and the lecture, which offers 2.0 clinical social work CEUs.
Mr. Storey, an established artist-turned-social worker, will talk with his peers from 1:00 to 3:00 p.m. about maintaining equilibrium, staying energized, and tapping creative potential in social work practice.
"Ultimately art and social work share a potential to create change," Mr. Storey writes in "SWART: A Natural Pairing," his 2008 article in the Journal of Creative Work. "Through SWART, which directly addresses the social work of art, I am beginning new understandings of my own art, of the world, and of myself."
Reporter Janet Purcell's 2009 New York Times review of Mr. Storey's art applauded his approach and his passion: "In a dizzying display of artwork, Trenton native Lou Storey uses shapes, symbols, and words to get his message across: Social work works."
Her review extolled Mr. Storey's artistic expertise and his ability to convey other important themes. "One small painting on display, 'The Hand of Social Work,' seems to sum up the whole exhibition," Ms. Purcell wrote. "It is an open hand whose fingers are lettered with the words: Care. Service. Practice. Advocacy. Policy." Pieces from the exhibit, "Social Work Works: A Visual Journey," can be viewed online at loustoreyart.com.
The event is free to GCU alumni, social work students, and professionals in the field. Reservations are required by Tuesday, April 6, 2010, by contacting the Office of Alumni Relations at firstname.lastname@example.com or 732.987.2232.
Founded in 1908 and sponsored by the Sisters of Mercy, Georgian Court University is a comprehensive university with a strong liberal arts core and a special concern for women. A forward-thinking university that supports diversity and academic excellence, Georgian Court serves over 3,000 students of all faiths and backgrounds in a residential Women's College and a coeducational University College with undergraduate and graduate programs. Georgian Court's main campus is located at 900 Lakewood Avenue, Lakewood, N.J., on the picturesque former George Jay Gould estate, now named a National Historic Landmark. Georgian Court also offers classes at its site at One Woodbridge Center in Woodbridge, at Coastal Communiversity in Wall, and at Cumberland County College in Vineland.
# # #
Tuesday, Aug 4Graduate Information Sessions
Wednesday, Aug 12Summer Visit Days
Monday – Friday and selected Saturdays throughout the year
Campus Tours


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Tutorial and Career Agents in EVE
As you progress through the initial Aura tutorial, you will eventually be directed to contact a career agent in a nearby system. There are five types of career agents available to you: Military, Advanced Military, Industry, Exploration and Business.
It is highly recommended that you complete all the missions given by all the agents, even if you already know what career you want to pursue. The missions give a good overview of the game, give good financial rewards for a beginner character, and give free items such as skillbooks, give faction standing gain, ships and modules. It is also good to have a basic idea of how each career works. For example, even if you don't plan to do any exploration, it is good to have an idea of how other players are able to scan and find you while you are missioning or mining.
Below is a list of the notable rewards you get for completing various tutorials.
Basic Tutorials
02: The Pilot Certification Course: Repair Systems skillbook
10: Your Next Mission: Small Armor Repairer I
Military Agent
Cash Flow For Capsuleers
Part 1: Small weapon (e.g. Dual Light Beam Laser for Amarr)
Part 2: Motion Prediction skillbook, racial combat frigate (e.g. Executioner for Amarr)
Part 3: Propulsion jamming skillbook, 2 small weapons (e.g. 75mm Gatling Rail I for Gallente, 125mm Gatling Autocannon I for Minmatar)
Part 4: 1MN Afterburner
Part 5: Shield Management skillbook
Part 6: Limited Ocular Filter implant
Part 7: Small Armor Repairer I
Part 8: Weapon Upgrades skillbook, 2x Overdrive Injector System I
Part 9: Stasis Webifier I
Part 10: Racial combat frigate (e.g. Tristan for Gallente, Merlin for Caldari, Rifter for Minmatar), Sharpshooter skillbook
Industry Agent
It is possible to overlap these agents, for example, when you're waiting for a manufacturing job to build.
Making Mountains of Molehills
Part 1: Miner I laser
Part 2: Frigate (Venture)
Part 3: Expanded Cargohold I. The Industry skill (rewarded for completing Part 1) will need to be trained to level 1 to complete this
Part 4: Miner I laser (Granted item: Afterburner skill)
Part 5: 1MN Afterburner I, Expanded Cargohold I
Part 6: Cap Booster 25 BPC
Part 7: Overdrive Injector System I
Part 8: Shuttle Blueprint (ex: Civilian Gallente Shuttle)
Part 10: Frigate Blueprint, Industrial Ship (Iteron for Gallente, Sigil for Amarr)
Business Agent
Skillbooks: Survey, Salvaging, Hacking, Contracting, Negotiation, Trade, Retail, Cybernetics, Production Efficiency. It's recommended you do the Industry missions (see above) first to get the Miner I module.
Balancing The Books
Part 1: Courier mission - awarded Mining Frigate skillbook
Part 2: Salvaging mission - awarded Venture mining frigate
Part 3: Mining mission - awarded Reprocessing skillbook
Part 4: Hacking mission - awarded Hacking skillbook & Civilian Data Analyzer (Hacking tutorial will be opened and if you click all steps you will be awarded with Negotiation and Contracting skillbooks)
Part 5: Courier mission - awarded Expanded Cargohold I & Overdrive Injector System I
Part 6: awarded Mass Production skillbook & Miner I. Go through Market tutorial in Help to get Trade & Retail skillbooks
Part 7: awarded Civilian Relic Analyzer & 1MN Afterburner I
Part 8: Courier mission - awarded Limited Social Adaption Chip
Part 9: awarded Expanded Cargohold I & Advanced Industry skillbook
Part 10: Industrial production - given Infrared S BPC, Antimatter Charge S BPC or Scourge Rocket BPC and awarded racial Industrial ship (Iteron for Gallente, Badger for Caldari, Sigil for Amarr, Wreathe for Minmatar)
Exploration Agent
Some players have difficulty with the probing system. You can watch some videos here: [1] for a demonstration of the new probing mechanics.
The UniWiki also has a probing guide available: Scanning & Probing
Part 1: On Board Scanning mission - awarded Survey skillbook
Part 2: An Introduction to Cosmic Signatures mission - awarded Frigate (Navitas for Gallente, Probe for Minmatar, Tormentor for Amarr), Core Probe Launcher I, 8 Core Scanners, Civilian Data Analyzer & Civilian Relic Analyzer
Part 3: Data Site Scanning mission - awarded Hacking skillbook
Part 4: Relic Site Scanning Mission - awarded Archaeology skillbook
Part 5: Gas Site Scanning mission - awarded Racial Exploration Frigate (such as Amarr Magnate)
Advanced Military Agent
- Main article: Advanced Military Career Funnel Chain
Read the mission descriptions carefully when doing the Advanced Military path. Two of the missions require losing your ship, so make sure you use the ship supplied by the agent and get platinum insurance. The Advanced Military Agent will give a Letter of Recommendation that can be used to enter the NPC Factional Warfare corporation. Factional Warfare Guide
Skillbooks: Propulsion Jamming, Remote Armor Repair Systems (Amarr and Gallente) or Shield Emission Systems (Minmatar and Caldari), Small Energy Turret (Amarr), Light Missiles (Caldari), Drones (Gallente), Small Projectile Turret (Minmatar), Destroyers.
When you first begin the tutorial in EVE your first mission will be given to you by a tutorial agent at the station in your starter system. After you complete that mission, you will be directed to contact the career agents. These agents are found in a nearby solar system, and will provide you with missions that will give you a very basic overview of some of the many career choices in EVE.
Career agent also provide a significant standing boost to their associated faction.
|Each career mission
|Base faction gain
|No.of parts
|Advanced Military
Note:(You only get the standing gain by finishing the last part of mission for a career agent and those mission will be highlighted yellow and name as Storyline mission.)
Note 2:( Exploration base % depend on the faction you are doing for amarr = ~0.99% caldari/minmatar = ~1.25% gallente = 1.5% dont ask me why, ccp just hate everyone except gallente :P)
Possible standing gain from finishing three set of agent for one faction
|Gain starting from 0 standing
Note:(You also take standing hit for rival faction)
Thus by finishing 2 set of career mission can help unlock level 2 mission for that faction.
If you plan on applying to join Eve University, it is required that you have at least started, if not completed, all the career agent missions.
Starter Systems in EVE
These are the starter systems in EVE. Each one has a single station, and a single Level 1 Quality 0 agent ("Aura," the ship-board computer persona) who will provide you with your first two missions during the tutorial. The system at which you start in is dependent on the corporation you pick when you create the character, for instance, creating a new Minmatar player with a corporation of "Republic Military School" will place you in Ammold - which happens to be the nearest starter system to Aldrat.
- Sehmy VIII - Moon 2 - Hedion University
- Emrayur III - Moon 1 - Royal Amarr Institute
- Chaven VIII - Moon 1 - Imperial Academy
- Hulm VIII - Moon 2 - Republic University
- Ammold V - Republic Military School
- Ryddinjorn VI - Moon 2 - Pator Tech School
- Cistuvaert V - Moon 12 - Center for Advanced Studies
- Duripant VII - Moon 6 - Federal Navy Academy
- Bourynes VII - Moon 2 - University of Caille
- Todaki VI - Moon 1 - School of Applied Knowledge
- Kisogo VII - State War Academy
- Amsen VI - Moon 1 - Science and Trade Institute
Note that every character can access the final starter missions one time at each location. The rewards are minimal, and the end result is to send you to the nearest set of Career Agents (listed below). However, if after leaving your school you decide to visit one of the other schools, the first mission you are given grants you a rookie ship of the race associated with the school.
Career Agents and Systems
You can locate your career agents at any time by clicking on the help button in your NeoCom. At the bottom of the help window, you will find a button labeled 'Show Career Agents'. Clicking on that button will bring up a list of your career agents. Clicking on the 'Set Destination' button will set your autopilot to the career agent's location. You can only do each career agent once so please do not quit any of their mission you will not be able to talk to them again if you do.
The following are the career agents and systems in EVE:
- Solar System - Akiainavas
- Abishi Tian - Industry
- Pusamon Arnen - Business
- Shiokala Notaja - Advanced Military
- Unachi Arikola - Exploration
- Yamonen Petihainen - Military
- Solar System - Jouvulen
- Anmon Otsi - Advanced Military
- Ikonaiki Ebora - Military
- Kirvas Ohvali - Industry
- Ochishi Veilai - Business
- Rimaremi Tasanen - Exploration
- Solar System - Uitra
- Chigas Ovoken - Exploration
- Hakkaras Ihora - Business
- Ijumachi Vuonolailen - Advanced Military
- Ranta Tarumo - Military
- Kokseri Velen - Industry
- Solar System - Malukker
- Artgert Ardreas - Advanced Military
- Eurbibad Kird - Business
- Stird Odetlef - Military
- Uba Virserin - Industry
- Wettor Fugen - Exploration
- Solar System - Hadaugago
- Fykalia Adaferid - Military
- Gonakis Eraettafrin - Advanced Military
- Albo Onurbad - Exploration
- Latorfani Aldimund - Business
- Stedad Yrmori - Industry
- Solar System - Embod
- Arninald Beinarakur - Military
- Bradondar Alfalur - Exploration
- Dalofer Mattore - Business
- Harbuko Bedgimund - Industry
- Sut Bjar - Advanced Military
- Solar System - Conoban
- Aire Arryns - Exploration
- Hadana Avyer - Advanced Military
- Jiekan Jepen - Business
- Zafarara Fari - Military
- Zhesar Sungestot - Industry
- Solar System - Pasha
- Aswamih Omid - Business
- Joas Alathema - Military
- Kiamarian Nagakoun - Advanced Military
- Raish Okarema - Exploration
- Zidah Arvo - Industry
- Solar System - Deepari
- Aldu Nat - Business
- Chakh Madafe - Military
- Ketandia Iosos - Exploration
- Navai Mosten - Advanced Military
- Sherkah Ashek - Industry
- Solar System - Clellinon
- Cala Baliaerdt - Advanced Military
- Houve Raennere - Industry
- Loict Mensier - Business
- Olarie Lacenten - Exploration
- Seville Eyron - Military
- Solar System - Couster
- Aernolaert Bruelle - Business
- Agalle Vacoloure - Exploration
- Gosauvel Aulbres - Advanced Military
- Hasier Parcie - Military
- Timestre Facent - Industry
- Solar System - Trossere
- Antogase Pandon - Business
- Berlimaute Remintgarnes - Military
- Ettes Alureel - Advanced Military
- Potillot Mumnier - Exploration
- Voenins Blune - Industry
Retired Career Agents
This is a list of retired career agents, added as they are discovered.
- Jarck Feritte
- Nedastier Lerveine
- Nutsu Kummabainen
- Sakenta Ahari
- Sorilen Aseri


text:
Written by an internationally renowed authority in geriatric psychiatry, this text discusses the most common emotional problems affecting the elderly: memory loss, depression, anxiety, sleeping problems, alcohol and drug abuse, and others. Each problem is addressed in a consistent format highlighting: the nature and scope of the problem the etiological factors involved a diagnostic workup treatment strategies The focus is on providing the health practitioner with information and specific strategies to diagnose the nature of the problem and to resolve the difficulties, as the situation dictates. This updated edition includes new information on managed care for older adults--clearly illustrating for the professional how mental health care is financed. The author's pragmatic, problem-oriented approach and his illustrative case vignettes make the book an invaluable reference for all who work with this challenging, underserved, and rapidly growing population. --このテキストは、 ペーパーバック 版に関連付けられています。
Dan Blazer, M.D., PhD, is former Dean of Medical Education, Duke University School of Medicine and J.P. Gibbons Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences. He is Professor of Community and Family Medicine at Duke and Head of the University Council on Aging and Human Development. He also serves as Adjunct Professor in the Department of Epidemiology, School of Public Health, University of North Carolina. As Dean of Medical Education, Dr. Blazer had overall responsibility for Duke University School of Medicine. He teaches courses in Trinity College at Duke University as well as in the medical school. --このテキストは、 ペーパーバック 版に関連付けられています。


text:
Lewandowski had put his side ahead after quarter of an hour but things quickly turned sour for Dortmund as they conceded two quick goals before the Poland striker was sent off in the 31st minute of the match for a crude challenge on Per Ciljan Skjelbred.
Following the defeat, Dortmund have all but surrendered the title as they fell 15 points behind Bayern Munich.
Lewandowski has 24 hours to appeal against the verdict.


text:
Johannesburg — Incense oil burns slowly in a corner, emitting rich odors of cinnamon, maple syrup and roses. It's quiet.
The study in a house in Sharonlea, a suburb in the north of Johannesburg, is where Ursula Wania practices as one of South Africa's top tarot card readers.
She has just instructed me to shuffle a pack of 78 picture cards. One card shows a cherub stroking a lion - the 'Strength' card, also marked with the words 'Good health' and 'Self-reliance.' Another is the 'Nine of Cups,' on which there's a fairy-like girl holding a wand. This card reads, 'Wishes now materialize.'
Then there's the 'Death' card with a skull surrounded by a wreath of red flowers, below a cherub reading what appears to be an obituary.
Reading life's changes
"That card doesn't always indicate a death; it could also signify major changes in a person's life," Wania explained. "The interpretation of what's in the cards all changes depending on what cards lie next to one another."
In front of her is a card marked 'The Magician,' and another of a mother, father and child - 'The Family' card.
"'The Magician'... now it's lying next to 'The Family' card, so that would tell me there's a family business going on. But for example if it lay like that (next to the 'Nine of Swords' card), it would show that there's a lot of stress to do with the family business," she said.
Using more cards, Wania then predicted my relatives' marriage later this year. The relative did indeed become engaged a few months ago.
Next, she pointed to the 'Knight of Rods' card: a boy dressed in red, wings sprouting from his back, rowing a raft across water. "I see an overseas trip coming up for you soon; this card represents travel," she told me.
Dealing with the forces around her
Wania started interpreting tarot cards 27 years ago, when in high school.
"It must be some sort of a gift, and it must have something to do with the forces that are around us," she reflected, adding that she sometimes feels a supernatural presence when she's reading cards, that allows her to see certain events in the future.
She offered an example.
"I saw in one lady's cards ('Eight of Swords,' 'The Tower' and 'The Judge' cards alongside one another) that she would go to prison. So I said to her, 'Look, I see there's some money involvement here and... I'm seeing a lot of problems coming your way in the future.'
She asked me directly, 'Could I go to prison?' And I said, 'Yes.'
"She was very angry with me, that woman. But I tell you what: she landed up being a good client. But she did go to prison (for fraud)."
Wania's abilities have resulted in some "people in crisis" reaching out to her for help. A few years ago, she was contacted by a relative of a little boy who'd gone missing in the wilderness.
In a vision, Wania saw the boy drowning - although she initially didn't tell this to his family. Instead, she marked on a map of the wilderness area where she thought the youngster was.
"I said, 'You better hurry up because this child doesn't have long to go.'
"They were able to find him. But, (only) just (in time)," Wania recalled.
Rescuers found the boy on rocks in the middle of a rapidly rising river.
Predicting cancer and birth
In another tarot reading, Wania foresaw a major health problem for her mother, who immediately consulted a doctor.
"He told her, 'Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with you.' But because of what my cards said she decided to get a second opinion," Wania said. "She decided she's going to go to the oncology center and she's going to have herself checked out properly. I think she went in on Wednesday, on Friday they had to take her boob (breast) off. She had full-blown cancer in her boob."
Wania commented that some people plan their lives according to her card readings.
"I had one woman... every time she came here I said, 'You're going to have another baby.' Eventually she came for the third time and I said to her, 'You're going to fall pregnant again.' Do you know that she went for a hysterectomy the following week?"
'Mixed feelings'
Wania is adamant that the "greatest satisfaction" for her lies in helping people to avoid "precarious situations," such as failing health or bankruptcy, in their futures.
But some faiths, most notably Christianity, consider tarot card readings to be sinful.
Wania responded, "I do not see myself as being in conflict with anyone else no matter what religion or belief system they are from."
She continued, "The thing is they don't know enough, because they think of magic as being bad and magic is not bad at all. Magic is using the elements that God has provided. So, you know, at the end of the day we (tarot card readers) actually believe in God a lot more; we just don't go sing in church and go to church, basically."
Wania said she believes in God but added, "I am not as pedantic, hypocritical and narrow minded as some other believers are."
Nevertheless, she acknowledged there have been occasions in the past when she's had "mixed feelings" about her "gifts."
"There've been a lot of times in my life when I've tried really hard to get involved in something different. Because to be labeled as a fortune teller isn't so cool... But at the end of it all I've realized, 'This is my path... '"
And that path, Wania insisted, consists of a "mission to help to give just a little bit of guidance" to people's lives.
Finally, she said, "I can't force people to be good people. My cards don't make decisions for people, they make decisions. The best I can hope for is that I help them to make the right decisions and to be good people."