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Dear Margo: He Cannot Sell Her on the Cell
- by Margo Howard
- on Dec, 22, 2010
- 77 Comments
- E-mail alerts
Why won't my girlfriend use her cell phone? Margo Howard's advice
He Cannot Sell Her on the Cell
Dear Margo: I'm writing to complain about my girlfriend and her use of the cell phone. But this is not what you think. Her daughter and I are frustrated because she doesn't use her cell phone! She buries her phone in her purse and never thinks about it when home at night. I can't tell you the number of evenings I've wanted to share some tidbit of my day, only to get voice mail. The disappointment isn't worth it, and I've pretty much given up calling her at night.
It doesn't stop there. Her daughter and I have equal frustration with text messaging. For example, when out at the mall, it is really convenient to shoot a quick text like: "@nordys meet me in shoes 5min." But as you can guess, she never checks her phone, so this means we spend 30 minutes wandering through the mall trying to find her.
I know it is popular to rage about how rude people are with cell phones. While I'm not suggesting taking calls during dinner, there are two sides to every story. Her attitude seems to be that cell phones and text messages are silly gadgets and mature adults don't use them. What do you think: Do we have a right to complain? — Dating a Dinosaur
Dear Date: Your bum luck, you have written about your predicament to another dinosaur! I forget to turn my phone on, for two years I didn't even know its number, and I needed "tutoring" on how to text in order to be in touch with one of my kids. My cell phone message repeats that of my friend Dahlia: "You have reached the bottom of Margo's handbag." We dinosaurs are trainable, however. When I travel or am in a huge store with my husband, I make it a point to turn the thing on. I think your girlfriend might accept this compromise. Maybe you three could name it "Nordy's Rule." Good luck. — Margo, wirelessly
Here's What She Said
Dear Margo: Ha! I am the dinosaur girlfriend, and this would be my answer if I were writing as you: Really? This is the worst thing you can think of to say about your girlfriend? That she doesn't constantly use her phone and have it on? Do you realize how many men would kill to be in your shoes? I suggest you think about how truly fortunate you are to have someone who hangs on your every word (no matter that you are often misguided or mistaken) as opposed to chatting with or texting her friends while you struggle to get her attention. Why don't you write back to me sometime when you have a REAL problem? — Margo, Rolling Eyes in Disbelief
Dear Roll: It is unusual — and fun — for me to hear both sides of a story. Each of the three of you — you, your daughter and the boyfriend — has a valid point. I do, however, think you all can meet in the middle somewhere. (See "Nordy's Rule.") Just as an aside, I prefer our way (yours and mine) to that of people who have their cell phones glued to an ear and think nothing of talking any time, any place, to whoever calls. Prime example of bad behavior: Robert Gibbs, from the White house, was on live TV texting! — Margo, conservatively
Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
Every Thursday and Friday, you can find "Dear Margo" and her latest words of wisdom on wowOwow
77 comments so far.
I don't like cell phones or the mentality that because you have a cell phone you are accessible 24/7 as a result. If you do have one, I guess there is an agreement clause socially you will use it or turn it on, how it is used is still personal discretion. I no longer have one and removed the clause in my life. If I am not at home, leave a message. Maybe someday I will feel differently or inclined to be tied too one, who knows.
Lucy Henry says:
@Linda, I might point out you could accomplish the same thing, not being accessible 24/7, by turning off your cell phone and letting it go to voice mail. I do that myself because I work nights and don't want to be disturbed during the day when I'm sleeping. The LW's issue is that his GF isn't turning on her cell phone in situations where it's clearly warranted, i.e. being separated at the mall. Or what if he was picking her up at the airport and wanted to use the cell phone lot rather than drive all the way into the airport and pay for parking? It's not unreasonable to ask that she turn on and answer her phone at such times.
In a previously agreed, mutual situation I could understand being communicative with the cell phone. If they had went to the mall, separated and agreed to meet at a certain time and place and he decides 10 minutes later he has changed that plan – calls on the phone and is left to the original agreement or hoofing it trying to find her – so be it! Regardless if cell or a home phone at night, if she wanted to spend her evening being on call to hear the minutes of his day when he felt like doing so, she would have the phone on. She is not against spending time with him or listening to him but prefers to do so in a more quality space of connecting at the same time, she has that choice. Continually calling or texting leaves a lot to be said of how society both respects the time of other people, in some form holds a controlling factor in lives and a lack of common sense at times in being able to decipher being intrusive also just to satisfy a personal need of communication. I worked for years in a job where I not only spent my days being available to clients and their needs but also periods of up to 30 days being on call 24/7 in wait on their needs. When they called, I jumped and after that time still being available via cell for the calls and texts from family and friends. 90% of the texts being random reminders they were bored and asking me where I was and what I was doing for no particular reason other than doing so. Cell phones, texting and the like are fine when used with discretion or common sense, when used as a random tool available to satisfy a need by the user to disrupt the life of somebody else is when poor taste becomes the norm. As far as her choosing not to be on that same hook with her daughter, I think she is sending the message to her daughter for some space in life disconnected to the cell. Conversation and connecting in life is what society is about – as is how we choose to value our time personally. I for one, choose life without the cell at this time.
Lila says:
Agreed, Linda. An old boss used to gripe at me for not having my cell constantly ON me. I explained that I won't be carrying or using it, for instance, in the shower, at the gym, running or while mowing the lawn. There was a time when we just had a phone hanging on the kitchen wall, and if no one answered, you could just… *gasp* call again later.
And I still don't text, mainly because I refuse to pay the exorbitant rates for a service which costs the phone companies nothing to provide. Living in Europe, it made sense to text because it was free and saved your minutes. Haven't texted since coming back to the US.
The time before cells and being hooked to the pager was worse, having to locate a phone regardless of what you were doing to answer a question taking 30 seconds after spending the time locating the phone.
Chris Glass` says:
I like the bit about calling again later. When will callers realize that not everyone is at their beck and call so to speak? I have a cell phone land line and answering machine. I return all important calls but refuse to be jerked around by those looking to fill in time electronically.
I agree! Right now I do not have a reason to feel tied to a phone and I enjoy it. I do keep my old one charged and carry it, in case I ever had a need for 911. Even the land line goes unanswered many times if the call is unnecessary. If voice mail is not worth the time of the caller I let it go! My employer right now, does not even have my land line number, as long as I show when scheduled, good enough for me.
moonrevenge says:
I'm actually a little bit horrified at the way some people see their cell phones as a way to be constantly entertained. I knew a few people who would get "bored" while driving so they'd start dialing people. Keep your eyes on the road and your hands on the wheel!
Probably the scariest moment I had was on a four lane street with a teenager who was swerving from side to side with everybody trying to avoid being hit, finally she pulled across all lanes again to turn at the light and had to stop. When I looked over at her, she just continued to text oblivious to the scene she had created. I have also noticed when people are on their cell phone and driving, the way they pick up and decrease speed seems to be influenced by the conversation on the phone.
Lila says:
You know, here in the DC area we commute early in the morning… and see people yakking on their phones in traffic at 5:30 AM! Who the heck are they yakking with at that hour??
amw says:
I wonder the same thing!
Mjit RaindancerStahl says:
They're talking with the other poor saps stuck commuting at 5:30am.
Jay Gentile says:
I broke up with a man who would not stop with his damned cell phone. In the middle of a sentence, for no reason, he would stop and check his email. He would check messages in church, while driving, while walking on the beach. Then there was the incessant texting from like-minded friends. He is not the president of the United States or a doctor. Nothing he had to say could be that important that he would stop in the middle of dinner to see if someone, anyone sent him a message. It was pathetic and, ultimately, juvenile. I'm too grown-up to be dating a man stuck in his adolescence. The telephone is an invitation, not a command. Remember that.
Many people manage their lives effectively from the phone of choice and apps, without being obsessive.. and for some, it could be a need for attention and a tool to verify attention. So many people, phones, and different forms of usage. The day will come when I have one again, though until I can validate the need and desire for one I am happy being without the cell.
August Miller says:
Group advice! COUPLES COUNSELLING. There's more of an issue here than a stupid cell phone.
Sianne S says:
Lol, really? Stop looking for issues when there are none.
John Lee says:
LOL, there's always a couple of really bad armchair psychiatrists who think there is a huge underlying problem to every disagreement in a relationship, no matter how completely innocuous and minor.
August Miller says:
"Do you realize how many men would kill to be in your shoes? I suggest you think about how truly fortunate you are to have someone who hangs on your every word (no matter that you are often misguided or mistaken) as opposed to chatting with or texting her friends while you struggle to get her attention."
Mrs. Cellphone seems to have issues which play out right in her letter. I wasn't trying to be a psychiatrist. I was telling it like I see it.
Merry Christmas and I hope Santa makes you both less condescending.
Sianne S says:
Merry Christmas early. Alas, I didn't get less "condescending". Did you get your own psychology practice? I'm sure it was on your list.
Since you tell it like you see it, here's how *I* see it. He had a problem, he wrote to Dear Margo. He showed his girlfriend the letter as a "Ha, here's what I'm saying to her." and she did a "Oh, yeah? Well here's what I'm saying. We'll see who's right." game. No invisible control issues, no buried desires to destroy each other. Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar.
Jay Gentile says:
I suspect you are dearly attached to your technology and see the refusal of others to be technological sheep as a character flaw. Perhaps you ought to use that counseling appointment. People who feel the need to broadcast their every move and thought are completed self-involved.
Briana Baran says:
Really? Closet axe murderer? Creeping coprophagist? Do explain why couples counseling is necessary for people describing each other as "boyfriend" and "girlfriend"…I am anxiously awaiting your answer.
Did it ever occur to you that they may simply be…incompatible? That's not a grave psychiatric or social issue…that's just part of life. That's why people date first, to see if things will work out. You don't always need a couple's counselor to figure out that things aren't quite ideal (or are even heading toward an epic failure).
It sounds as if the girlfriend would like a more mature, live, person-to-person, quality time relationship, and feels a bit under-rated, and over-taxed with the trivial. It sounds as if the boyfriend wants contact on demand, (that would be his demand), and feels that such minimalist contact such as is typical with texting and very brief cell-phone calls counts as significant time well spent. My question: why isn't he actually spending more time in her presence (without the daughter, who he seems very in tune with), and less time demanding that she answer a stream of impetuous calls and texts based on sudden thoughts and impetuous demands for her presence (meet me in five minutes)?
Perhaps I'm wrong, but it doesn't sound as if they're even slightly happy or content with one another. No counseling necessary, get thee both back into the dating pool again.
Jessica Morrow says:
I'm in the middle on this. Yes, it's horribly RUDE when people have cell phone shaped tumors on their head or they walk into traffic because they are too busy texting.
However, I wish to god my mother would turn her cell phone on when she's driving down to visit me for the day. She'd be running 30 minutes late from her ETA and I get nervous. I'd call her cell hoping she'd have it on, pull over, answer and just let me know she's ok but running late, but no, it's off.
I agree with Margo's compromise, See Nordy's rule, or car longer than 10 minute car trip rule.
Jennifer juniper says:
I'm with the boyfriend on this one. To compare this to people that are rude cell phone users is not fair at all – those are two equally bothersome positions. I'm am not a big cell phone user – I have it mainly for convenience and emergency but I do at least have it on so I might be reached if need be.
My husband is like this LW's girlfriend. And it drives me nuts. I often tell him I'd be much happier if he just got rid of it totally than to keep raising the slightest expectation that I might actually get hold of him when I need to. I actually think there is something really quite controlling about the behaviour.
Cindy Marek says:
L #1: Maybe, just maybe, like me your girlfriend detests the "old" electronic leash? I gave up my cellphone because I can't be out and about for an hour without husband phoning wanting to know where I'm at. Pardon me, I'm 45; don't live with mom and dad anymore. If you quit wanting to inundate her with electronic attention, maybe she'll relent abit and become more cooperative? Good grief we survived for thousands of years without constant instantaneous communication; seems to me people like YOU are the problem. Give her some room to breathe, okay? And get your nose out of that gadget for an hour or two…
I'm with Margo on this one. I think her suggestion for compromise is fair.
I have my phone on at all times, so people I care about can reach me – but I do think it's unreasonable to expect anyone who doesn't want to text to do so. I've never wanted to type with my thumbs, and my husband and teenage son have no desire to do so, either. My teenage stepdaughter texts, but mostly with her mother; texting seems to be her mother's preferred means of communication.
I've never quite gotten the arguments for texting convenience and speed. A coworker once told me that texting was great for saying things like "Dinner?" "What time?" and "Where?" when you just didn't want to talk to someone. I still don't understand why I'd be eating with someone to whom I don't even want to bother speaking.
Legal Eagle says:
It's not that you don't want to bother speaking with the person. It's just that there are times where a faster mode of communication is necessary. For example, there are times where I will be in-between clients at work, but the next client is sitting in the lobby. I have one or two minutes before their scheduled appointment time and I can quickly text about dinner and quickly get an answer without having to pick up the phone, hope my friend answers, but if they don't, leave a voice message that they will have to listen to and then call me back and if they do answer, use their cell minutes to ask a very simple question and get information that they could have just given me via text.
Texting allows for a quick exchange of information that can be done within a second or two. A phone call will always take longer and isn't really necessary when quick info is needed.
Ah, that's the difference right there! A text would definitely take me longer than a phone call. I'm definitely of the "Okay…where's the M…M, M, M…okay…how do I get to the O? Oh, keep pushing…" variety.
I know that it would get much faster were I to actually, you know, do it, but I just find it too annoying and tedious to bother. And I can always shoot off an email and then check it later; everyone I know who texts also keeps their email open constantly.
Legal Eagle says:
For some people, a text does take longer. But for those who do it regularly, it's fairly quick. Also, a lot of people now have phones with full Qwerty keyboards so that makes it even faster for them. Because of that, it's not about not wanting to speak to someone, it's just about speed and convenience. I do not have e-mail accessibility on my phone and there are times I need a quick answer to something that I know I can receive through a text.
Mary says:
Oh my goodness, the gf must be me, LOL,! Seriously I do not like cell phones at all, but I have one only because I have a business where I need to be on call. However, I have a answering service who screens the calls first and they are the only ones who have my cell no. I have it on only when I am not at home and I tell the service when that is. Everyone else can call me the old fashion way. Some of my friends see my cell phone and want my no. and I decline but I always tell them why. The reason is simple, I give enough of my time to everyone at work, I don't want to answer a phone just because I have it and I like the fact that I cannot be reached by everyone 24/7. Guess I am not a phone person. Another reason is because the majority of my working life has required me to be on call at some point or another. I have had to carry pagers while hiking and run down hills , up hiking paths, drive across towns to find pay phones and only to answer my page for ridiculous common sense issues.
If this is a issue for the bf when it IS important to reach gf, maybe they need to learn to communicate better face to face first. like how about setting a time to meet at the mall? Or airport etc. In a world filled with communication devices we are lacking in true communication.
Chris Glass` says:
I see this as a control issue. This nutcase wants his girlfriend on call for him when the mood strikes to be in contact. He and the daughter need to grow up and realize this woman needs her space. If he is at the mall with her he can always prearrange to meet at a central location at a given time. There is no need for her to interrupt her shopping and run because he sees something he is interested in. If he wants to reach her at night he can use a land line. If she doesn't have one maybe the phone is off so she can get her rest.
I carry a cell because my husband is not well and my father-in-law is in a nursing home. They need to be able to reach me in case of an emergency. I do not take calls from anyone when driving. I return important calls but not those from people filling time.
A D says:
This seems like it should be an easy thing for two mature adults to negotiate. I don't leave my cell phone on most of the time. Very few things are so important that they can't wait until I get home to be told about them. The boyfriend should just wait and call her at home in the evening to tell her his "tidbits"; have a little patience, dude.
However, when they're out in public and trying to negotiate several people, the girlfriend should agree to have the cell on and within reach, both for convenience and for safety.
Not everybody who owns a cell phone is a zombie who has to be "plugged in" all the time. It's absolutely possible to use them in a sensible and practical manner.
Legal Eagle says:
The boyfriend is calling her at home in the evening to share the tidbits of his day, but she's not answering the phone. He said "I can't tell you the number of evenings…" That's the problem. It doesn't say in the letter whether she has a land line or not, but I'm thinking she doesn't if he's repeatedly tried calling her cell at night. The problem here is less about the cell phone and more about her lack of communication with him. It's normal for a boyfriend to want to share his day with his girlfriend and to hear about hers. He calls her at night to do so and she doesn't ever answer.
huskernubian says:
If my significant other was not available to speak to in the evenings on a consistent basis, I probably would be looking for a new SO at some point. This is not about being "constantly" accessible, as I read the two versions, it's about being "reasonably" available. In fact, ladies, if your man's phone is never on in the evenings and he is never available to take your calls, you might start to wonder whose calls he IS taking. If you merely are a technophobe and choose to travel in a buggy and wagon rather than those new-fangled iron horses … or you fear the electronic scanners at the supermarket checkout … then congratulations on being a slow adopter.
Legal Eagle says:
I love how you put this because it's spot on! It's not about being constantly available, it's about being reasonably accessible. YES, that is the perfect encapsulation of the issue.
Drew Smith says:
Privacy and Presumption,
The loss of privacy and the presumption that one should be at other's beck and call is at the root of the conversation.
Employees think nothing of texting me while I'm on vacation to "ask for my review and approval" and my manager thinks nothing of asking me to "please review" or "attend a quick call."
My kid's coaches, teachers, counselors, friends' parents all expect me to monitor my phone for important texts about events and etc..
I for one don't have free texting, so each one of these "gems" costs me 25 cents, which adds up quickly by the end of the month.
Then there are the cell phone calls, mindless of time of day, or that I might be in a phone meeting, if I don't answer my desk phone (and despite knowing that I likely am in a meeting) rather than leave a message, I'll get repeated calls to my cell, or worse, if I pick-up to let them know I am on a call but want to let them know I realize that I am needed and will call back, they will proceed to attempt a conversation.
Ever since the Fax machine introduced instant communication, expectations have changed and people have totally forgotten respect for privacy, and presume that others should have the same sense or urgency in responding to messages as those who send them are feeling.
This strikes me as a form of self-indulgence.
Oh, absolutely. Like I said above, I don't text – but the presumption of everyone else that I was happy to read their text messages led me to have my texting feature on my phone completely disabled. Not only can I not send texts, but no one can send them to me. I'm so glad I did it.
I think the mall issue is a bit different. I would expect my significant other to be able to reach me, just as I'd expect him to be available. And though, as others have pointed out, it's possible to set a meet-up time and place, that doesn't cut it if one person gets caught in a line too long, twists an ankle, that kind of thing.
Linda R. says:
You're annoyed because you can't reach her at HOME, by CELL? What happened to calling the home phone? I am perpetually annoyed by the people who insist in calling my cell when they know I'm at home, then ask, "where are you?" "Oh? at home?, I'll call back on the land line"…try the damn land line first…don't waste my limited money and time on the cell, it's for necessary emergencies….
Legal Eagle says:
It may be that she doesn't have a land line. I don't. I use my cell phone as my primary home number.
Margo Howard says:
Legal Eagle (and some others) Many people, often younger ones, no longer HAVE a land line, because cell service is cheaper — and it goes with them.
Miss Lee says:
First let me say that my cell phone is my only phone and that it is on 24/7. I always answer because I have health issues and I don't want the caller to panic and think the worst. This has happened with relatives and, since they do watch after me, I really feel the responsibiity to respond and not cause them concern. However I really do miss the time before cell phones and pagers when I could go out shopping and no one could find me. Such freedom! I think that time as long since past most of us by.
Rita@ Goldivas says:
I don't text and only ever use my cell phone as a safety device on long road trips. I think they are intrusive, and as others here have pointed out, why the assumption that we should all be available to everyone 24/7?
I find it especially annoying when I'm shopping. The fun of browsing through the merchandise is ruined by idiots on their cell phones having totally inane, unnecessary conversations. I've noticed a disturbing tendency – they seem to have to report their whereabouts to whomever they're talking to – "I'm at Kohl's now, heading over to blah, blah." There doesn't seem to be any real purpose to the conversation, it's just idle chat that shoule be taken OUTSIDE.
Mrs Smith says:
I keep a cell phone with me, but rarely need it. I mainly use it when the family is out and we're heading off in different directions. No one other than my immediate family and my best friend have my cell number. I did that on purpose because I don't want to be at other peoples' beck and call 24-7. I also had the phone company disable the texting function. The kids' phone is used only for contacting their father and me.
If anyone other than my family wants to talk to me, they can call my office or home land line. If I'm not in, they can leave voice mail.
Diane Shaw says:
1. I am not a dinosaur, but I do not have the need to have my cell on 24/7. Mine sits in the bottom of my purse and is for emergencies only or for a coordinated period of time if it's needed – such as what the boyfriend describes above. I find the whole excessive use of phones to be obnoxious! I, too, am either at home or in my office, I can be reached there if people need to call.
2. Furthermore, to anyone who doesn't have a land line – please get one! As a trained disaster volunteer for my community, it is very important to have one. Getting the cheapest, local service will do because if there's an emergency you don't want to have to depend on your cell phone!
Jessica J says:
Hate to break it to you, but there may be a time in the very near future where land lines won't be available at all. They're not more reliable anymore, either.
In general, all these comments about limited cell phone use and no texting are very amusing. I am not "old" nor am I "young", but what I am is able to recognize that there is no need to make judgment calls (pardon the pun) about cell phone use. Rude people have always existed, and they will always exist. Not having or using a cell phone/not texting is borderline socially irresponsible. It is akin to someone in this day and age refusing to own a car and instead using a horse and buggy. The analogy isn't perfect–some in rural areas might be able to do it, but think of someone in the city doing this. How would you feel if you were sitting at a restaurant waiting for your friend to arrive, and they pull up on a horse? I assure you: any whimsy or charm would wear off very quickly, especially when they want you to ride with them, or they show up on your doorstep dripping wet because they got caught in an unexpected shower.
The point is, these innovations–cell phones and texting–did not come about because people were bored or wanted to create annoyances. They came about to solve problems and promote progress and efficiency. They have done that, and to refuse to use them and to state proudly ones 'dinosaur' status is simple snobbery and foolishness. Pointing out the abuses that others do as an excuse not to learn and participate in responsible cell usage is also pathetic, and speaks more to laziness about learning something new than anything else.
My vote: The girlfriend sounds like a selfish, self-centered woman who apparently thinks she's God's gift to the world and all her quirks should be accommodated. Her boyfriend should find someone who has more consideration for him, and the daughter should start counting down the days till she can leave the house.
Briana Baran says:
Jessica J, darling, is it possible that you didn't read all of the comments before posting? Or are you simply as entitled as you sound?
Several of us who are not interested in being available 24/7 to obnoxious morons who feel that they simply must share every momentary thought (probably due to extremely short term memory issues) right now, and who become furious when their target is not available, are not dinosaurs, Luddites or technophobes. Nor do we fear, or are we too "lazy" to learn something new. I saw posts from at least one IT professional (I'd wager she's not challenged about the innovative or technical), and I myself am very technically savvy, and fascinated with innovation.
Perhaps what we are is patient, and mature, and capable of waiting for quality time with those we love. We might even be able to plan ahead, and to keep to those plans without becoming distracted by some random whim or fancy, and have enough respect for others to allow them the freedom to continue with their plans, even when we are very excited about something we've seen, found, heard or experienced. Maybe we value privacy, down time, quiet and a chance to be still, not just for ourselves, but for others as well. It could be that we have enough confidence in those we love to let them off the leash, and to not check in with them constantly…because we trust them, and hope that they trust us, and because we are secure, and hope that they are secure and confident as well. I am not just talking about partners…but also friends, children and parents. Perhaps we even understand the idea of quality time spent alone, doing something that one simply can't find the same degree of pleasure in when the activity is shared.
None of the ideas in the above paragraph qualify a person as an anachronism, which is what you're looking for when you use terms like "dinosaur". What they do mean is that the person is secure, mature, confident in herself, has her own life, values respect and privacy…and that she would like to see the same qualities in others. It does not make her irresponsible, lacking in social consciousness, selfish, or self-centered.
By the way, texting is usually used to send extremely short, curt messages, and is becoming the death of meaningful conversation. I know a lot of very bright, incredibly gifted young people who own cell phones, but who do not text because they say it's a pain in the butt. It's also become the number one national reason for car accidents involving injury. Necessary? Not at all. Cell phones are a nice innovation and definitely have their uses…but not forcing the world to revolve around manic users every second of their entitled, demanding, addicted-to-instantaneous-gratification lives.
And a small, but significant note. Have you ever lived in a part of the country in which the inclement weather is extremely harsh and even violent? It tend to knock out the power…and disable the cell phone towers. That's right dear, right here is civilization, (well, Houston, Texas, anyway), hurricanes tend to kill cell phone towers. So do tornadoes, and blizzards. The only things that actually work are, gasp, land-lines! They haven't thought of anything better yet.
Sianne S says:
My goodness, a lighthearted couple of letters for once and we still have 'invisible issues". I'm surprised no one has accused the boyfriend of being a narcissist, or a closet abuser yet. We did get 'control freak" a couple of times though, so I guess that's something. Me, I don't even answer the landline half the time. I'm usually trying to write, and I don't like being interrupted. If it is important, you will leave a message so I can call you back when I take my breaks. No, the "Hey, pick up the phooooooooooooooone, I know you're theeeeeeeeeeeere." messages won't get to drop what I'm doing either, unless it's followed by a "I've broken my leg and need a lift to the ER."
Boyfriend needs to relax a little and realize that not everyone is as attached (or addicted, read some of the horror stories online now about cell phone addiction, it's not pretty) to the phone as he is. I support the Nordy's rule compromise that Margo suggested. It's a fair compromise and one I would do…..if I had a cell phone, that is.
Princess Rapunzel says:
I'm one of those people who fall somewhere in the middle here. I have a cell phone (no land line) and I don't text. I don't feel tied to my phone and I regularly miss calls, but I regularly check my voicemail and return those calls and I make certain I have my phone in a hearable location when expecting a call, driving in my car, or away from my kids in case of an emergency.
I don't understand why the LW girlfriend even owns a cell phone if she never uses it. Why give out your phone number if you are never available to be called? My sister is just like this LW girlfriend and it's so frustrating and hurtful to those of us who want to spend time with her and can't reach her. It's obvious that my sister and the LW girlfriend are anti-social and like to keep everyone at a distance. You're allowed to interact with them only on their terms. It wouldn't be that hard for the girlfriend to pre-arrange times to be available by phone with her boyfriend as Margo suggests. I suspect the boyfriend will find someone else who values regular communication and availability and who cares about and respects him enough to compromise if this girlfriend keeps up this attitude of stubborn resistance.
Bottom Line: If you don't want to be available for people to call you, then don't give out your number. If you own a cell phone…then why aren't you using it? Having a cell phone does not mean you are tied to it…it's your choice to be rude and text/talk during dinner or to put it on silent mode and ignore it.
Crystal Wheeler says:
I'm so glad it's obvious to you that these people are anti-social. I guess I must be anti-social too. I can't count the number of times that people like my parents or my in-laws complain of not being able to reach me on my cell phone. The reason why? I'm absent-minded. I consistently forget to charge the dang thing. I have to be very careful about where I put it or I will lose it. I do the same thing with my car keys, purse, and daughter's diaper bag, not to mention myriad other things. My husband has talked about getting rid of the land line because we both have cell phones, and I flat out refuse. We have multiple handsets for our land line, as well, in order to make sure at least one is charged all the time. We even have a back-up wall mount for when I've lost all the hand sets to the land line.
I like my cell phone. I have no issues using it, although I certainly don't use anywhere near it's full functionality. I guess I'm just controlling, manipulative and anti-social. Thanks!
Sue ZQ says:
I must be anti-social too. Where can we get the T-shirt?
exhibitABC says:
I do not have a land line, haven't had one in 10 years, and never intend to have one again. I have a cell phone that is on 24/7, and to have a land line would be simply redundant.
If the woman in the letter had a land line that she answered, keeping her cell phone off would be a non-issue, which clearly isn't the case.
I do not understand why some people feel that having a cell phone makes them anymore "on a leash" than having a land line. If anything, it gives you more freedom. You can make a call whenever you want, wherever you are. You aren't tied to your house when you're expecting an important call. You can also silence the ringer or turn it off completely, neither of which were an option on land lines when I had them. Also, like a land line, you can choose whether or not to answer. If you do not wish to take calls, silence the ringer and check your messages when you're ready! Why is this so hard for people?
Lucy Henry says:
^ Exactly.
Briana Baran says:
I've had a land-line for years, still do, and for at least the last two decades most phones (even the horrid, anachronistic, but utterly necessary in case of a power failure corded variety) have come with options to reduce the volume or silence the ringer completely, with answering machines and/or services that can be accessed remotely…and, of course, the ability to be disconnected from the phone jacks. I'm not sure what sort of antique you had ten years ago…but my cordless came with a digital answering machine, various ring-tones, a flashing light to let you know that messages were waiting, (it was actually a number that indicated exactly how many callers had left messages), a ring volume adjuster and silencer, remote access to messages and to change one's greeting, caller ID, etc.. We purchased the phone when we moved into this house 13 years ago…and only got a new, more compact model recently. I think we paid about $50 for it. It was even an attractive happening metallic blue. Yowza.
So please, don't hand out that "Land-lines are so useless and inconvenient" garbage. some of us know better. I suspect that many of those heartily defending the boyfriend are of the sort who can't exist without their cell phones permanently attached to their ears, or their thumbs, constantly in contact with someone about something. Some of us actually leave the house with the expectation of enjoying some time doing the things we enjoy without interruption, and also do sometimes actually prefer a modicum of privacy at home as well. And it has always been possible to silence land-lines, even back in the '60's, when dinosaurs ruled the earth.
exhibitABC says:
Fantastic. So land lines are nearly as convenient as cell phones. That is great news.
However, a phone call is still a phone call, whether it's coming in on the cell phone or the land line, and to consider one method any more intrusive than the other is absurd. Everyone is only as accessible as they want to be, and there is no reason to feel like one has less privacy with a cell phone than with a land line.
Sianne S says:
Not to mention that if, god forbid, you misplace/forget to charge your cellphone and are caught in an emergency, a land line is a million times easier to trace by EMS.
Gerri Lynn says:
I hate my smart phone. Yes, it's useful in many ways, esp. the navigation features, and I can't count the times I've solved an argument by looking up examples of what I"m talking about. But overall, I hate the thing. I have to charge it, keep track of it, and it's always there, lurking. That, and I HATE talking on it. No matter what phone, I have a hard time hearing others (and it's not my hearing), and they have hard times understanding me. I have to commit a hand to holding the darn thing; I can't pinch it between ear and shoulder. Gar. So many reasons to hate the thing.
That being said, when hubby and I are shopping in different parts of a huge store or mall, having the darn thing is also useful. We can call each other and meet up when we're ready, or find out of if the other person is ready or not.
The compromise that Margo suggests is a reasonable one, tbh. Walk in the door, do a phone check, turn it on, and then answer it when a text goes off. Walk out the door, turn it off.
TBH, I don't like the whole "is this the worst problem you've got with your girlfriend" attitude. It's a fallacy that attempts to avoid the issue by changing the subject. The girlfriend's response is an attempt to dodge the issue by changing the parameters of the discussion. Really? Honestly, this is a both of you issue. Work out a compromise and stop trying to point the finger anywhere but at yourself.
Caramia says:
I'm a bigger dinosaur than Margo. I don't even own a cell phone. I hardly use the landline, The only time I'd use the cell is if my car breaks down.
Rho says:
I only use my cell phone as a phone, I had everything else turrned off. I was one of the first to get one, when they came out. I like to have it when I am driving. No texting, no internet.
Phillip Koons says:
Sounds to me like this is the other side of the spectrum from people that are obsessed with their phones. An extreme either way is no good.
If I was him, I'd be quite aggravated that I couldn't call at night to say Hi and see how things are going. It sounds like the phone is more or less at the bottom of her purse unless she happens to need it for something….not so she can actually be reached. She'd probably save money just using payphones in that case.
I see this no different than if she had a land line and just never answered it. Just no point to having it. While I think it's unreasonable to be reachable 24-7, it doesn't sound like that's what the boyfriend is expecting or wanting.
Phillip Koons says:
Oops…forgot to question about what would happen if the boyfriend or daughter had an emergency and needed to reach her. It's a little selfish.
Legal Eagle says:
I agree with both of your messages Phillip. The boyfriend is not expecting 24/7 availability, he's just asking for reasonable availability as another poster put it. Also, I really do hope the boyfriend or daughter never has an emergency and needs to reach her. It would be terrible if something happened to either of them and she was blissfully unaware until after they had gotten to the hospital and/or died. The guilt would be too much to take there.
I have had two such occasions where I was never so thrilled to own a cell phone. On one occasion, my mother was hospitalized with severe internal bleeding several states away and called to let me know. On my way to the airport, I was able to call all those in my life, including my boss, to let them know what had happened, set up support for the time I would be gone (someone to watch the dogs, etc.). It was peace of mind to know that I could do so.
Briana Baran says:
I have a cell phone. The only function enabled is its ability to make and receive calls. It is never turned on when I am driving, as only four people have the number, and I only rarely anticipate calls from any of them. If, for some reason, I might suspect that one of them has a reason to call, I check the phone when I am parked, with the engine off. If there are no messages, I turn the miserable thing off again.
I am not a dinosaur, a Luddite, or even a technophobe. I have no problems understanding technology at all. I am actually quite fascinated by many of the aspects of my husband's profession (an IT administrator), easily learn new computer systems, and can set up complex sound systems and equipment. This is not bragging, it's pointing out that not everyone who detests cell phones is necessarily a "horse-and-buggy" anachronism.
I do value my privacy greatly. We have a land-line, an answering machine, and a voice mail system. We do not answer the phone during family dinner, unless it is extremely important that we take the call. We have Caller ID. If the call happens to show as an Unknown Caller, or an 800, 866, or 877 number, we don't answer unless they leave a detailed message. We are on a "Do Not Call" list for telemarketers. Our land-line is unlisted. If I don't want to talk to someone, or I am busy, I feel free not to answer the phone. I do return calls to most people that come in while I am absent.
My cell phone is never on when I am at home. I think that the current accepted norm of being available to everyone 24/7 for alleged o-so-important calls is intrusive and ridiculous. When did the individual become everyone's ear? I personally think that it is weird for Mr. "Dating a Dinosaur" to feel obliged to have to call his girlfriend every time he has a momentary chuckle, or a (rather dim) light-bulb flickers for him. Why not save up the entire day to savor in a more complete conversation? Sounds like an immediate gratification issue for him, which is a problem for a lot of folks of late. Especially teenagers, of which tribe I'm guessing the daughter is a member in good standing. Some teens seemingly cannot survive without being in contact every second of their lives with their various BFF's, frenemies, boyfriends, casual acquaintances, Facebook friends (all 1000+ of them), etc.. It rather sounds as if the boyfriend ought to be dating the daughter, not her mother, as they seem to have a similar mindset. As for the mall, cell phones can be very useful if one is separated from the rest of a group, to insure that everyone meets at an agreed upon place, at an agreed upon time. But deciding on a whim that you simply must have your girlfriend somewhere in five minutes for to look at some to-die-for shirt, or preview some tunes, when she may actually be in the process of browsing something that she enjoys, or trying on clothing, or doing something that doesn't require your presence because it would bore you silly (which is why everyone went their separate ways to begin with) is ludicrous. I think the boyfriend has some growing up to do.
As to why the girlfriend turns off her cell at night…might it possibly be because clingy someone and darling daughter call with every tiny thought that comes into their heads, and she can't sit down, have a coffee or tea, or a glass of wine, or a warm meal…then relax in her comfy clothes, in her best spot, with her favorite music, show, book, or some combination of these without the damnable cell phone going off every five minutes? Maybe she prefers to screen her calls through her land-line…if she has one, or maybe she would just like a spell of privacy, peace and quiet. This is not unnatural, you know. It doesn't mean she doesn't love her daughter…or care for King Pest. And it doesn't make her a dinosaur.
Briana Baran says:
May I also mention that no where in the letter is it stated that the woman doesn't have a land-line, and that some people seem to be convinced that the cell phone is their only option for contact. And he isn't complaining about emergencies, he's whining about texting, and about not having her immediately available, and about (gasp!) having to search a whole thirty minutes through the mall. I'd be willing to bet that she might even turn on her phone if she knew she would have a certain window of time in which she wasn't going to be endlessly harassed about crucial, it-can't-wait-more-than-five-minutes meetings in shoes, because there was a (o, horrors!) pre-arranged calling and meeting time.
He honestly sounds like a bit of a spoiled boor. And I can't for the life of me figure out the people who stay on their phones all day, every day, from dusk till dawn, yakking, either. Yes, I have friends…but good grief, there just isn't that much to talk about. And the one time I did need my cell phone in an emergency (it was charged, and turned on, and within reach, the miserable toy completely crapped out on me and failed to ring. My son had been exposed to chlorine gas at the pool (fortunately he was fine), and I found out when I checked my messages. My DH got the horrid thing ringing again, but (and he works with cell phones as part of his job) couldn't figure out why it failed. So much for the indispensability of cell phones.
Agreed Brianna on all points. This dinosaur here by profession is a IT analyst and specialist by trade. I also determine my boundries. I imagine there is more reasons unsaid why she is choosing her availability to boyfriend and daughter. If she agrees to be available and isn't, I do see that as a fault and irresponsible on her part, otherwise I agree she is entitled to decide how open she is too communication. He could go the old fashion way and agree to a time to get together and share with her, face to face.
Briana Baran says:
" If she agrees to be available and isn't, I do see that as a fault and irresponsible on her part…". Precisely my point. I try to make it a point to be at home when my mother says she's going to call from Illinois (regardless of the necessity for utter silence and tranquility for an hour afterward). If I say, "I'll be expecting a call from you on the dirty, rotten cell at 5 pm", it will be charged and turned on. We had considered attending the Renaissance Faire this year, and allowing our thirteen-year-old son to bring a friend or two so that they could "do their own thing", while we caught the few sights still worth seeing (it is very "PG" and tame…and dull compared to 20 years ago, but perfect for middle school kids) then relaxing and reading our books until it was time to go. Our one requirement would have been a working cell phone with each boy, for emergencies yes, but also to make coordination and issues of, "What's good to eat?" and "Meet us at the front gate in one hour" easy.
They have their uses. But they can also be intrusive and completely break down the paper walls of privacy. It seems that today, so many people have the extremely entitled belief that anyone, and everyone that they even slightly know, personally, socially, or professionally, should be available at their every whim, on a moment's notice. I don't think that either the boyfriend or the girlfriend particularly have issues of the sort requiring counseling. I think she may value her privacy a bit more than he can be comfortable with, and that he is a latter-day child of the modern "I want it and I want it now" trend toward a need for instant gratification. Just because a couple is incompatible (and thankfully not so deeply invested that they have already begun cohabiting, or have married), does not mean that they have deep, underlying issues, or should run off to a counselor, That's why people date first. To see if things will work. Have we forgotten about that so soon, the whole experimental, it doesn't always work between to people phase of finding a partner? Good grief.
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text:
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subset: commoncrawl


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NASHVILLE, TENN. - Jackson Browne, Loretta Lynn, conjunto musician Flaco Jimenez and blues musician Taj Mahal will receive lifetime achievement awards at The Americana Music Association Honors and Awards ceremony in Nashville, Tenn., in September.
Browne, who has lent his voice to a number of social policy issues including clean energy, will receive the "Spirit of Americana" Free Speech Award. The Lifetime Achievement Award for songwriting will go to Lynn, who wrote hits such as "The Pill" and "Don't Come Home a Drinkin' (With Lovin' on Your Mind)."
Lifetime Achievement Awards for instrumentalist and performance will go to Jimenez and Taj Mahal respectively.
The organization is also partnering with Lincoln Center for the Americanafest NYC in August.
- Keywords
In this May 10, 2012, file photo, country music star Loretta Lynn performs at the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville, Tenn.×
This Jan. 10, 2014, file photo shows Jackson Browne at the All My Friends: Celebrating The Songs and Voice of Gregg Allman event, in Atlanta.×
In this Nov. 14, 2011, file photo, conjunto musician Flaco Jimenez speaks during a news conference at Zocalo Plaza in Mexico City.×
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Moving to Tassajara Zen Mountain Center in 1974, Paul was ordained as a priest by Zentatsu Richard Baker in 1980, who gave him the name Ryushin Zendo, "Dragon Heart, Zen Way." In 1993 he received Dharma Transmission from Sojun Mel Weitsman.
Founder and formerly Director of Outreach at SFZC, Paul is interested in finding ways of expressing our practice in society, both as compassionate service and making it available to as many people as possible. He became abbot of Zen Center in 2003.
He lectures and teaches internationally.
After obtaining graduate degrees in business and statistics, and a doctoral degree in marketing, he is at present writing a dissertation towards a Ph.D. in clinical Psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute. Raja's increasingly eclectic approach draws from bodywork systems of Postural Integration and Biodynamic Cranio-Sacral Therapy, body-psychotherapy systems of Somatic Experiencing and Bodynamic Analysis, Jungian and Archetypal psychologies, psychoanalytic schools of Object Relations and Inter-Subjectivity, affective neuroscience, and Advaita Vadanta, a spiritual tradition from India. His current interests are trauma and attachment on one and hand trauma and spirituality on the other. Raja co-led the first Trauma Vidya team that went to Tamil Nadu, India, in June 2005 to treat tsunami survivors for trauma symptoms.


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text:
All those who scoffed at the Guggenheim Group paying $2 billion for the Los Angeles Dodgers are starting to look foolish now that MLB has just secured $12.4 billion in deals with Fox, TBS and ESPN, more than twice the annual average baseball is getting from its current deals.
The $1.5 billion in cash the league's 30 teams will divvy up each season is great, but perhaps even more valuable for the Dodgers are some other details of the broadcasting agreements that will make it easier for Fox Sports to launch a competitor to ESPN. Fox, which currently holds the Dodgers cable rights through next season, can officially begin negotiating with the team next week.
The Los Angeles times reports that Fox's pact with baseball allows it to put as many as 40 games on a nationally distributed cable channel starting in 2014 (by some strange coincidence that is the same year baseball's new deals with the broadcasters begin). Fox also received broad rights to baseball highlights that could be used for a sports news program similar to ESPN's "SportsCenter." TBS currently airs all four first-round postseason series, but in two years Fox will get two of them.
The Dodgers previous owner, Frank McCourt, tried to get an extension with Fox last summer worth $3 billion over 17 years. MLB put the kibosh on that. Rights fees for sports programming have since taken off and current estimates project the Dodgers next deal, which as I had wrote about here contain some valuable concessions for the team's television revenue with respect to revenue sharing, could be worth $5 billion over the next 20 years.
For News Corp and a guy like Rupert Murdoch, $5 billion over 20 years is chump change in contrast to the economics of a national sports cable network. Murdoch no doubt salivates thinking about ESPN's $5.06 average monthly subscriber fee for carriers, and the network's ridiculously fat margin–an estimated $3.2 billion of operating income (earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization) on revenue of roughly $8.2 billion.
The critics said buying the Dodgers was a rich man's folly with no way to earn a return on the investment. But in fact MLB's new tv deals have made it clear that the Guggenheim gang will get the last laugh.


text:
That's right, again.
It's your daily Matt Kemp situation/controversy/failboat post, because talking about the team being eleventy billion games back is even more boring.
Anyway, after yesterday's news, it came out today that Dave Stewart talked with Bob Schaefer and Larry Bowa about their differences, and ostensibly, Matt Kemp.
"Both Schaefer, the Dodgers' bench coach who also works with outfielders, and Bowa, the team's third-base coach who also works with infielders, said their conversations with Stewart were positive and productive. But both also took exception to Stewart's comments."
"Bowa said he hadn't actually read the Times story, but that he had been told about Stewart's comments therein, which is why he called Stewart and talked to him for what Bowa said was about 90 minutes in the middle of the night on Friday morning."
Nothing really unexpected there, but I suppose it could have blown up worse if that hadn't happened.
So what do the Dodgers coaches do now? What does Matt Kemp do?
Rob Neyer wondered the same thing.
"I don't have any idea, really. But you can understand the coaches' frustration with Kemp just a little, can't you? Larry Bowa and Bob Schaefer have been around the game forever, and they haven't seen many players with Matt Kemp's raw talents. And it must be killing them to think he's wasting it.
Which doesn't mean they're helping. Maybe Kemp would benefit from an attitude adjustment, but maybe that process would be facilitated by a coaching adjustment.
Which brings to mind a question that nobody seems to have asked … What's Joe Torre been up to? In the spring, the general manager ripped Kemp. In the summer, the coaches ripped Kemp. Is Torre waiting for the fall?
The fall doesn't begin until the 23rd of September.
Of course, that's probably too late for the Dodgers, who have already fallen too far. Maybe the solution here is to keep Kemp and find a new coaching staff. Because the old staff doesn't seem to have accomplished much this summer."
I understand the frustration. I think everybody has the frustration. I suppose the difference is how it manifests itself within each individual.
The most interesting line though, for me personally, was the suggestion that a coaching attitude adjustment could facilitate the development of a player.
In my opinion, coaches exists not for themselves, but for the players. You take the blame when the team loses, you give the glory to the players when the team wins. They exist in baseball, at least regarding things that do not relate to game management, to do whatever it takes to optimize the performance of their players.
Yet, I know a lot of people have a problem with this type of approach. The overwhelming amount of coaches I encounter use some form of the "my way or the highway" approach to the job, and I would suspect that a good amount of fans find that not only correct, but even admirable.
Personal Tangent Time
I'm obviously not a major league coach, nor am I anything close. Chances are extremely high that I will never be anything close. However, from tee ball to college, it has never ceased to amaze me how stubborn coaches can be, especially hitting and pitching coaches.
There are an extremely high percentage in those arenas that believe you must hit or pitch one way. It's absolutely pathetic to see them waste a potentially useful player with talent just because the player in question doesn't crouch exactly the way the hitting coach wants, or kick his leg as high as the pitching coach wants, or whatever other micromanaging idiocy they may use.
The same goes for personalities and player management. It's a fact of life that some kids are resilient and some kids are not. People, in general, but especially in athletics, tend to dismiss the kids who don't respond well to yelling and screaming like a maniac. After all, they are labeled soft, or some variation of such.
Me? I don't see the point. In an ideal world, everybody wouldn't need motivation at all. They would all be self-motivated, and the coach could then just concentrate on game decisions, but that's not the way life goes, is it? No.
You're dealing with individuals. Certain kids will be tough, cocky, and/or stubborn. Maybe you need to get in the face of those kids occasionally, as that's either the only way they'll listen, or that's what will help motivate them. Certain kids will be self critical, will lack self confidence, and will be receptive to full explanations in a calm manner. Their response to your yelling is likely to be negative, which is obviously not what you want.
People can say the players in the latter group are being coddled if they want. They can use other adjectives to indirectly challenge the masculinity of the player as well, but the fact of the matter is that it makes a lot of sense to adjust your methods to fit what will help each player become the best they can possibly be. I don't know, but effectively cutting down the potential talent pool that can stand to play for you, just because you're too much of a egotistical prick to look at somebody else's needs besides yourself, doesn't seem like the best way to coach a squad. Maybe it's just me.
After all, no amount of yelling at a kid is going to transform him from a quiet, shy kid to a loud, hard partying, frat boy asshole.
Honestly, which is easier? Adjusting your approach to individuals, which takes a split second shift in thinking, or attempting to rework a players entire personality that has been developed and reinforced all their life?
I'm not sure how this relates to the Dodgers situation, but take it however you want. Besides, I don't know a damn thing about Matt Kemp as a person. Of course, I also don't pretend to be able to read his mind like so many others apparently can.
I totally understand the romanticization of the macho, no frills, won't bend for nobody type of authority figure. I do, because I used to worship at that altar too.
Now, however, i've come to believe that the real macho person would set aside his ego and do anything it takes to get the best out of his players. As in, he should adjust to his players, not make them adjust to him.
When you only have one way, and you make everybody adjust to do things your way, I think you lose valuable assets as a coach. You lose decision making flexibility and the ability to reach certain players.
After all, you want the most talented players playing at their best, because that results in the best production, which results in wins. Why limit the type of players that you are able to get optimal performance from just out of sheer stubbornness and/or ignorance? Not only does that handcuff your production, but also strategy, and the potential moves a front office can make.
How does this relate to the Dodgers? None of us can be totally sure, but I will say that based on what we've heard about this staff, and based on their histories, I worry that they are more the stubborn old guard than the progressive new one.
I stumbled across another interesting quote from Larry Bowa today as well.
"Anyone who has seen Matt Kemp crash into a wall, dive onto the warning track or run from first to third on a single knows that Kemp exerts himself every day.
But between those plays will be an occasional at-bat where it appears Kemp didn't have much of a plan, or a night when, perhaps because of injury or fatigue, he will mope around for a few innings as if he didn't really want to be out there.
'I don't think in the 2,200 games I played I could count on two hands the number of nights I felt great,' said Dodger third base coach Larry Bowa, a former Philadelphia Phillie shortstop. 'But that's what separates the good players from the superstars; they're able to grind it out.'
'Matty has the chance to be a superstar with the way he hits and plays defense. But there are games when it looks like he's not mentally where he should be. Sometimes because of his mannerisms–he'll drop his head or something–you get the perception that maybe he doesn't feel like playing.'"
What's wrong with this quote? Well, it wasn't actually about Matt Kemp, and it wasn't in 2010. It was about Jim Edmonds, and it was back in 1998.
After a disappointing 1999 (0.8 WAR), Edmonds was traded from Angels to the Cardinals for Adam Kennedy and Kent Bottenfield, where he immediately started a streak of six seasons of 6.4 WAR or higher, including a 8.4 WAR season in 2004.
Take it how you want.


text:
[ Posted Monday, May 5, 2003 ]
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Henry Street Settlement writer Jessica Taliaferro and Journal News staff writer Robert W. Marchant.
Cohostess Caroline Waxler, a freelance writer; and Vanity Fair writer David Margolick.
Airplay Monitor's Bram Teitelman and Billboard rap editor Rashaun Hall.
Media people everywhere at Mission.
Christine Reslimaier, copy editor for AARP The Magazine, and Lending Intelligence managing editor Tracy McNamara.
CNN Radio correspondent Gary Baumgarten, vaguepolitix.com editor-in-chief Lynn Phillips, and The Wall Street Journal's James Taranto.
Soap Opera Digest feature writer Elaine G. Flores and Sony Pictures development exec Mary Pat Walsh.
Sara Roby of the Trident Media Group and Jon Furay of Other Productions.
Cohostess and freelacner Caroline Waxler, New York Post deputy business editor Dan Colarusso, AV Video Multimedia Producer editor-in-chief Beth Marchant, and Peter Wilk of Wilk Marketing Communications.
The Christophers associate producer Sally Potneza and graphic designer Jeannie Joshi.
Photographs by Jacqueline Schneider.
Former OverTime freelancers claim they're owed thousands by the magazine. We investigate what went wrong.
Service-driven pitches breathe new life into training, nutrition, health, and fat-loss features.
GMA Weekend's EP on his fly-by-night show, taking risks, and wooing his wife with a conversation about prostitution.
These agents are authors themselves and understand both sides of the book-selling equation.
Are you the type to reach the top of the masthead? Editors-in-chief detail the traits that got them there.
Party Photos: The Design Party
From landing pages to html code, the Web's a wild place and our j-schooler explains how she's learning to cope.


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March 10, 2006, 5:01 PM ET
Bonds' interest in Team USA is news to managerESPN.com news services
PHOENIX -- Barry Bonds is thinking about joining the United States team in the World Baseball Classic, assuming it advances to the second round of play.
But U.S. manager Buck Martinez says it's news to him. Martinez said he has no plans to alter his 30-man roster to make room for Bonds. WBC rules allow teams to substitute a player for the next round if there is an injury.
ESPN analyst Rick Sutcliffe said Thursday night that he'd spoken with Bonds, who had expressed interest in the WBC. Martinez was interviewed during the game and said it would only happen if his team suffered an injury.
Bonds shagged a few fly balls on a back field at Scottsdale Stadium and took some cuts in the cage Friday before spending the rest of the morning socializing with members of the U.S. team before the Americans' World Baseball Classic game against South Africa.
Bonds didn't travel to Tucson with the Giants a day after making his Cactus League debut with a single and a strikeout in a loss to the Angels, but was planning to be the designated hitter again Saturday against Oakland at Phoenix and appear in left field for the first time Sunday at home against San Diego.
Just before the first pitch of the Classic game, Bonds crossed the field from San Francisco's clubhouse -- by then being used by South Africa -- to hug Yankees star Derek Jeter behind home plate. He waved with both arms and walked into the U.S. dugout to a smattering of boos from fans.
On Thursday, former commissioner Fay Vincent, weighing in on the controversy caused by a book detailing Bonds' alleged drug use, said that current commissioner Bud Selig should investigate Bonds.
"I think he should hire somebody like John Dowd or set up a committee," Vincent said Thursday in a telephone interview with The Associated Press. "He needs to do that, maybe headed by Mario Cuomo or George Mitchell, somebody of that ilk."
Friday, ESPN's Pedro Gomez reported that baseball officials are taking a serious look at documentation in "Game of Shadows," but that suspending Bonds is not currently on the commissioner's radar.
The 41-year-old Bonds, still coping with a tender right knee following three operations last year, hopes to play opening day April 3 at San Diego after being limited to 14 games last season.


text:
Clocking In
You have clocked in to MySA.com's business news blog about San Antonio and South Texas businesses and business people.
Posts filtered on Category
Office wackiness for Halloween
(Blogsouthwest Photo) Herb Kelleher wants Southwest CEO Gary Kelly to breathe deeply, baby. I don't know how anyone may be dressed in your office this Halloween, but they did things up in a big way over at Southwest Airlines. Even Chief Executive Officer Gary Kelly got into the act. It's good to see the culture […] [Read More]
Texas workers less confident
The newest Hudson Employment Index exhibited a little stronger confidence among workers nationally but mixed signals from Texas workers. Texas workers continued to report the highest confidence levels among eight states with a 123.1 reading in October, and the score was slightly better than the score a year earlier. But the number this month was […] [Read More]
Worker falls to his death
A worker for Zachry Construction Corp. was killed at at a cement plant in California. The initial report is that 24-year-old Jose Chirino fell 50 to 60 feet through an air duct shaft. California's Division of Occupational Safety and Health is investigating the accident. — Sean M. Wood [Read More]
Here's a group looking to hold onto employees
The North San Antonio Chamber of Commerce's CFO Forum will host the "War for Talent: Attracting, Training & Retaining People" Oct. 25 from 11:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. at The Club at Sonterra. While it is targeted at bean counters, the forum is open to HR execs as well. Leaders from Raba-Kistner Consultants Inc., Sea […] [Read More]
City, county pensions stay the course — for now
The Texas Municipal Retirement System will pay out 5 percent interest on all city accounts for 2007. The money will hit accounts on Dec. 31, according to the pension fund manager. But there will be no Extra Payment for this year. And the 5 percent isn't guaranteed for working employees. "If interest rates continue to […] [Read More]
Labor Dept. highlights Texan
<i Gregory Lopez The U.S. Department of Labor's Office of Disability Employment Policy is honoring El Paso's efforts to help a worker with disability set up his own business. It's part of final events during National Disability Employment Awareness Month. As a high school student, Gregory Lopez had a job shredding paper and developed an […] [Read More]
Get to work
Alamo WorkSource is holding a job fair on Wednesday from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Alamo WorkSource Career Center at 4535 E. Houston St. (That's inside Loop 410 and south of I-10 at White Road.) There will be jobs available for people with their GED, high school diploma or college degrees. So make […] [Read More]
Trolling for teachers
Grinning at me from the side of a VíA bus this morning was a Dallas Independent School District teacher on a banner ad encouraging San Antonians to apply for teaching jobs in that North Texas district. They apparently read Jenny LaCoste-Caputo's story about how there is no teacher shortage here. So they decided to go […] [Read More]
Need a job? Read this.
West Corp. has won business from a new client and as a result it's hiring 200 more employees for its service center in Universal City. The hiring is going on now and is expected to be completed by mid-November, the company said. The new employees will handle incoming phone inquiries from customers who need to […] [Read More]
What does your boss deserve?
No, we don't mean that. Come into the light and think of something thoughtful you can do for or give your boss on National Boss' Day. It's Oct. 16, a little more than a week away, and Office Depot knows it needs some planning. That retailer has partnered with gift-giving expert Hillary Mendelsohn to provide […] [Read More]
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Kate's 25 years 'serving' town
Posted: January 17, 2013|
A LONG-SERVING councillor has been praised for spending the last 25 years working for her town.
Councillor Kate Thacker has sat on Biddulph Town Council since 1988.
The 59-year-old former teacher was voted on to the council at the age of 35.
She said: "I finished working when my youngest son was born and I decided to try my hand at local government.
"I wasn't sure what the job entailed but it looked interesting and varied and it certainly is.
"I don't think I will be here in another 25 years but I do enjoy it. It's very rewarding because we are here to help people."
Mrs Thacker was praised for her commitment at a meeting of the council's general purpose committee.
She was also handed a bunch of flowers.
Councillor Kevin Jackson said: "Twenty-five years is a long time in this job.
"She has had to deal with many difficult choices.
"I do think that we are really blessed in this town council."


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Living with Complexity
by Donald A. Norman
Hardcover: 312 pages
Publisher: The MIT Press
List Price: $27.95
Your Price: $15.92
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours
Editorial Reviews
Product Description
If only today's technology were simpler! It's the universal lament, but it's wrong. We don't want simplicity. Simple tools are not up to the task. The world is complex; our tools need to match that complexity. Simplicity turns out to be more complex than we thought. In this provocative and informative book, Don Norman writes that the complexity of our technology must mirror the complexity and richness of our lives. It's not complexity that's the problem, it's bad design. Bad design complicates things unnecessarily and confuses us. Good design can tame complexity.Norman gives us a crash course in the virtues of complexity. But even such simple things as salt and pepper shakers, doors, and light switches become complicated when we have to deal with many of them, each somewhat different. Managing complexity, says Norman, is a partnership. Designers have to produce things that tame complexity. But we too have to do our part: we have to take the time to learn the structure and practice the skills. This is how we mastered reading and writing, driving a car, and playing sports, and this is how we can master our complex tools. Complexity is good. Simplicity is misleading. The good life is complex, rich, and rewarding -- but only if it is understandable, sensible, and meaningful.
Related Titles
- Emotional Design: Why We Love (or Hate) Everyday Things
- The Design of Everyday Things: Revised and Expanded Edition
- Digital_Humanities
- The Design of Future Things
- The Objects of Affection: Semiotics and Consumer Culture (Semiotics and Popular Culture)
Scribendi offers Books and Software in association with Amazon.com. Portions copyright Amazon Inc. and its affiliates used under license.


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EDUC142 Childcare Program Planning
Department of Social & Behavioral Science: Education
- I. Course Number and Title
- EDUC142 Childcare Program Planning
- II. Number of Credits
- 3 credits
- III. Minimum Number of Instructional Minutes Per Semester
- 2250 minutes
- IV. Prerequisites
- None
- Corequisites
- None
- V. Other Pertinent Information
- None
- VI. Catalog Course Description
- This course provides an introduction to the childcare profession. It includes an exploration of child development from infancy through school age, with emphasis on planning developmentally appropriate activities in a safe and healthy learning environment. Included are investigations of childcare for special needs children, mildly ill children, and alternative groupings.
- VII. Required Course Content and Direction
Learning Goals:
- To understand the physical, social, emotional, and cognitive development of young children.
- To develop practical techniques for classroom management when working with young children.
- To understand current techniques for keeping children safe, healthy, and well nourished at home and in the school environment.
- To plan classroom curriculum that is age and developmentally appropriate.
- To design a classroom environment to stimulate development.
- To develop techniques to promote home/school cooperation.
- To develop techniques to effectively communicate with parents.
Planned Sequence of Topics and/or Learning Activities:
- Development of infants/toddlers
- Motor development
- Social/Emotional development
- Cognitive development
- Development of preschool children
- Motor development
- Social/emotional development
- Cognitive development
- Planning/Curriculum development
- Organizing physical space
- furniture
- toys/games
- Time
- Daily routines
- Play
- parallel
- associative
- constructive
- dramatic
- Art and music activities
- Physical activity
- Conceptual skills
- Language/listening activities
- Math activities
- incidental learning
- teacher led activities
- Science
- magnets
- planets
- animals
- cooking
- food
- Health
- Development of infants/toddlers
Assessment Methods for Core Learning Goals:
Reference, Resource, or Learning Materials to be used by Students:Departmentally selected textbook. Current articles from education journals. Details provided by the instructor of each course section. See Course Format
- VIII. Teaching Methods Employed
- At least 2.5 hours each week will be devoted to the presentation of course material in a classroom setting.
Review/Approval Date -4/99


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ERWIN — With grant funding secured and the construction firm selected, repair work on a problematic rail spur that runs through Erwin's Riverview Industrial Park is on track for completion in the coming weeks.
The project will focus on approximately 1,000 feet of railroad track in the industrial park, which is utilized by several businesses including Nuclear Fuel Services, Impact Plastics and Foam Products. Unicoi County Mayor Greg Lynch said the approximately 30-year-old track has simply deteriorated due to its age.
Deterioration of the rail spur has proven to be a costly issue over the years. Lynch said CSX has closed the track several times over the past decade until "emergency repairs" could be completed. When these temporary shutdowns have occurred, industries served by the rail spur have had to bring in raw materials via truck, which costs the businesses more than having the material transported via the rail line, Lynch said.
Lynch said these shutdowns were also costing the county, which owns the property on which the rail spur sits. The county has had to foot the bill for emergency repairs to get the track reopened. Lynch said the planned rehabilitation project should stave off the need for such Band-Aid repairs in the future.
"It was getting quite expensive just to do those emergency repairs," Lynch said. "We could have done four or five or six (emergency repairs) and spent more money than we're spending on this rehab, so this is not like totally new, everything will be new, but it will be rehabbed to the point where it will last several more years."
The work will involve the replacement of ties, tie plates, spikes and switch points in the affected area, Lynch said. Gary Tysinger with Tysinger, Hampton and Partners, the engineering firm overseeing the project, said the maintenance is needed.
"Some of those ties have been in there since the very beginning when we first built the track," Tysinger said. "That's what holds the gauge or holds the rails together so the trains can run open."
The county has pursued grant funding for the rehabilitation project, which is estimated to cost around $160,000, for more than two years. It was recently awarded an $80,000 grant from the Appalachian Regional Commission. Lynch said the grant, which covers the engineering services and construction, requires a 50 percent match from the county. However, he said the county's economic development board, which has around 60 percent of its budget funded by the county, will reimburse the county when construction work is complete.
"So what we've done is we're sharing the cost of it, and it helps us because we don't have to put the whole thing onto the debt service," Lynch said. "It's just a good little partnership we've got with the EDB."
Tysinger said officials hope to receive the go ahead to begin construction in the next couple of weeks. From that point, construction should take around 30 to 35 days to complete, Tysinger said.
Two construction companies submitted bids on the project, and the project was recently awarded to South Carolina-based Bundrick Grading and Construction. Tysinger said the company has worked on the track before and is familiar with its needs.
"They know the track and know what we need to do, so we're glad that they were the successful bidder," Tysinger said.


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OKLAHOMA CITY — The Talihina Golden Tigers were making a Cinderella run through the Class 2A playoffs, including upsetting Oktaha in the regional tournament finals and Preston last Friday night in the area finals to make it to Thursday's state-tournament quarterfinals. That was where Cinderella's shoe no longer fit.
Class 2A's fifth-ranked Latta Panthers ended the Golden Tigers' season with a 58-43 state-quarterfinal victory Thursday afternoon at Oklahoma City University. The Golden Tigers end the season with a 19-12 record.
The Panthers (27-3) had another great defensive effort as they held the Golden Tigers to 28 percent shooting (13-of-47 from the field) and had a 31-21 rebounding advantage.
Latta outscored Talihina in every quarter but one. The Panthers held a slim 12-9 lead after one and extended that lead to 29-14 by the half. Their largest lead (37-20) came during the third period.


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Acquisitions and Rapid Cataloging Department
Part of:
- Phone: 847-491-4426
- Fax: 847-491-7637
- Email:
- Buildings: University Library, 1970 Campus Drive, Evanston, IL 60208 campus map
- Web site: http://www.library.northwestern.edu/about/library-administration/departments-offices/acquisitions-and-rapid-cataloging
|Department Heads
|Catherine E Grove
Department Head, Library
Monday–Friday, 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m.
Support disclaimer: This form is intended for use by Northwestern University faculty, staff and students. Non-Northwestern visitors are welcome, but directory support is only available for the Northwestern community.
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|Newegg Daily Deals
|Thread Tools
Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 56,600
AMD bets the farm on new Fusion chip system
Yesterday at the annual analyst's meeting with AMD, they really talked up the upcoming Fusion parts that will combine AMD's CPU and GPU into a single silicon, offering the 'Best of Both Worlds' on a single chip. What did analysts think?
Fusion is designed to save AMD's bacon,' said analyst Roger Kay with Endpoint Technologies Associates. 'AMD has just marched across the desert of 2009 and 2010 to arrive at the moment when they have a product that might put them ahead. Fusion is a pretty good deal. They have bet, if not the farm, much of the livestock and the barn on its success.'Bold words for sure, but they're about right. Intel's current GPU offerings, to put it bluntly, suck, and NVidia doesn't have a suitable desktop GPU (Tegra is another story). Putting both on one silicon is a risky, but powerful move that could really put AMD in the forefront. That is, if it actually works.
The first prototypes came back to Austin from the Taiwan factory in April. They worked so well that AMD decided to move up the production schedule by a few months. Once the early prototypes had been thoroughly tested last spring, the Bobcat design team took part of the day off to celebrate their achievement at Buffalo Billiards on East Sixth Street downtown.Now to see if they can just meet demand.
via AMD bets the farm on new Fusion chip system.
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Hotels in 50836 - Blockton IA
Only hotels in 50836 zip code are listed below. Search for cheap and discount hotel rates in Blockton, IA for your upcoming leisure or conference / group travel. We list the best 50836 hotels and motels so you can review the Blockton hotel list below to find the perfect lodging. Hotels in Taylor county and area code 641 are also listed.
50836 Hotels & Accommodations
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On March 1, 2013, a memorandum (M-13-06) was sent to the heads of executive departments and agencies. President Obama has issued a sequestration order in accordance with section 251A of the Balanced Budget and Emergency Deficit Control Act, as amended (BBEDCA), 2 U.S.C. 901a. The sequestration requires a cancellation in the amount of $85 billion in budgetary resources across the Federal Government for the remainder of FY 2013. FY 2012 awards will unlikely be affected by the sequestration. We are not sure at this time how this financial climate will affect UT Dallas awards. However, different federal agencies will be reviewing their options to re-scope, delay, or cancel awards in order to meet the sequestration requirements on FY 2013 awards. The decisions will all depend on the nature of the work and the availability of resources. Should you have any questions or receive communication from your sponsor in regards to your award, please contact your Grant Specialist or the Office of Sponsored Projects to manage the award going forward.
Additional Information:
Posted: March 01, 2013


text: Yo-on Jeremy Levie currently serves as head of practice (tanto) for Green Dragon Temple at Green Gulch Farm Zen Center, where he offers talks, works individually with students, and leads sittings, classes and study groups. Prior to being tanto, he served as director at Green Gulch from 2009 to 2012. He has trained in residence at San Francisco Zen Center since 1995, having lived at each of the Center's three temples. He was ordained by Eijun Linda Cutts in 2005 and trained as head monk (shuso) in 2009. In addition to his service on the SFZC Board of Directors, Jeremy has also served on the Board of the Marin Interfaith Council. Jeremy studied philosophy and theater at Yale University and trained as a teacher of Motion Theater improvisation. He continues to be interested in the intersection of Zen practice with Western thought and culture, and co-leads retreats on the meeting of Zen with other disciplines. He currently lives with his wife, Meg, and daughter, Elizabeth, at Green Gulch Farm Zen Center.


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Pastries of Demark's Petit Fours
By Mabel Suen
Miss Leon's Serves Some of St. Louis' Best Comfort Food
By Cheryl Baehr
Fort Taco Is Your Newest Addiction
By Cheryl Baehr
Planter's House Debuts New Spring Cocktail Menu
By Patrick Hurley
Gooseberries Pleases Herbivores and Omnivores Alike
By Cheryl Baehr
By Patrick Hurley
Cabana on the Loop Struggles with Basics
By Cheryl Baehr
Sugar High: Strudel at Feasting Fox
By Mabel Suen
But a number of my techniques are the generic ones published in countless paperback weight-loss tomes and get-slim-quick magazine articles: I don't clean my plate. I share desserts. I largely forgo alcohol and the bread basket, unless there's some nifty cocktail or artisan-style carbstravaganza that seems worth a try.
It takes a little luck, too. Specifically, I'm lucky that few restaurants dish out as many majestic platters of goodness as Aya Sofia does on a daily basis.
6671 Chippewa St.
St. Louis, MO 63109
Category: Restaurant > Greek
Region: St. Louis - St. Louis Hills
Aya Sofia
6671 Chippewa Street; 314-645-9919. Hours: Lunch 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Tue.-Fri. Dinner 5-10 p.m. Tue.-Thu., 5-11 p.m. Fri.-Sat., 5-9 p.m. Sun.
Two visits to Aya Sofia, a new Turkish/Mediterranean restaurant located in south St. Louis a stone's throw away from Ted Drewes' Chippewa outpost, rendered me distended. All my rules flew out the window; I couldn't help myself. I'd like to blame the cuisine which is really all Turkish, right down to the Turkified spellings of some of the more generally Eurasian delicacies (the addition of the word Mediterranean on the front page of the menu seems to be there only to provide a familiar point of entry) but as far as I know, Turks aren't known for being obese; we are. Besides, unfussy, salt-of-the-earth foodstuffs are what's at play here, with hardly a rich sauce or buttery bread to be seen. Instead the emphasis is on herbs, vegetables and legumes: beans and peas, cucumbers, spinach and tomatoes, rice, parsley, mint and dill. Cheese and yogurt show up quite a bit, and beef and lamb turn up as the staple proteins in a majority of entrées (with a grilled chicken breast and a New York strip thrown in for gastrophobes). But I can't fault any of those, because my waistband was crying uncle long before the main courses arrived.
I can and do blame Aya Sofia chef and proprietor Mehmet Yildiz for front-loading his relentlessly tempting bill of fare with an overabundance of appetizers so much so that it's almost impossible to regard them as mere starters. On one visit five of us made an entire meal out of the menu's first page, which lists eight cold appetizers, seven hot appetizers and three appetizer platters, plus soups and salads. Though many of these overlap some items can be served hot or cold, and the platters simply combine a number of the individual apps it's hard to whittle down the choices to a respectable few.
Tabbouleh (here spelled tabuli) comes chock-full of diced tomatoes and onions, and a very fine grind of bulgur wheat, yet that trifecta serves as mere background to showcase the terrifically clean texture and green flavor of the chopped parsley. On the flip side, borek a pie of feta cheese and spinach baked into phyllo, the Turkish cousin of spanakopita was a more subtle pleasure, with the greens and cheese taking a back seat to the warm, cushy phyllo.
Sumac, the Middle Eastern spice derived from the bush of the same name and indigenous to the cuisine of Iran, Iraq and Turkey, isn't omnipresent at Aya Sofia. But it factors well into piyaz, a white bean salad made with parsley, tomatoes and onions and tossed with lemon and extra-virgin olive oil. Along with the onion, the sumac adds astringent zing to the dish, most notably when gobbled alongside the creamy hummus and the unique borulce, the latter a salad of black-eyed peas, parsley, bread crumbs and more lemon and olive oil. Without that tang, those preparations presented a strong starchiness that got to be a bit much.
With the exception of a swordfish steak, seafood appears only among the appetizers, in the form of ho-hum calamari oversalted and too toasty and skewers of firm grilled shrimp marinated in a terrific spice blend. Stuffed mussels have already been removed from the menu (they're crossed out in marker), but an additional seafood-based appetizer of the day usually fills in. On one visit that meant skewers of swordfish with a few rind-on lemon wedges thrown on the stick to intensify the fish's mild flavor.
At last, after this bounty of victuals and oh yeah, the "bread basket": triangles of pillowy pita served with a heavenly dip of puréed roasted red bell peppers topped with grated Romano come the entrées. In retrospect, I consider them to be mere rest stops between the first course and the last, a time to gather one's bearings while nibbling at some fine beef or lamb served over couscous or pilaf. The vertically grilled lamb and beef, similar to gyros and known here as iskender, was treated to a yogurt sauce and a tomato sauce; the latter, reminiscent of ketchup, hampered the dish and rendered it ordinary.
My favorite entrée is only available on the lunch menu: kofte, balls of grilled Turkish meat loaf the size of a child's fist, which at the server's suggestion I plunged liberally into a leftover appetizer plate of haydari, a lip-smackingly good yogurt dip.
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