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Brenna Berdini always knew her daughter, Sienna, was strong-willed.
But when her strong personality morphed into daily outbursts and meltdowns just before her 4th birthday, Berdini, of Easton, Pa., started to fear for her safety and knew they needed intervention. She called nearly 20 counselors in the Lehigh Valley, but no one would take a 3-year-old. Then, she discovered that KidsPeace offers Parent Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT), an evidence-based, child-centered program geared to 2- to 7-year-olds and built around the idea that children love playing with their parents. PCIT is set up that each parent has one-on-one time with the child during which he or she provides positive feedback but does not give commands.
Berdini, her husband, Craig, and Sienna started PCIT in January, and over the course of four months of therapy, saw a drastic improvement to their daily lives. Berdini said they learned to change their approach as parents, focusing on the positive rather than the negative, which allowed Sienna to feel more confident that she was being noticed. After a few weeks, the number of outbursts was slashed in half, and Sienna started looking forward to the therapy homework, which was also structured play.
Berdini admitted to being nervous before signing up for PCIT, fearing it would lead to a mental health diagnosis or medication. But at the first session she was reassured to find it was a natural approach and exactly what their family needed. She raved about their clinician, Corinne Falgares, who worked with them at the outpatient center on Green Street in Allentown.
"Corinne is just wonderful. She has the perfect blend of being compassionate and sweet and caring, but when she needs to lay down the law, she lays it down. She just has such a nice way that when she has to be firm, it's not confrontational, it's not judgmental," Berdini said. "I just can't say enough about her approach and everything she did for us."
Now that the family has "graduated" from PCIT, the Berdinis have a pact to remind each other if one is doing something that is not therapeutic. And they continue to be amazed at the progress their daughter made in such a short time.
"She's just a completely different child," Berdini said. "It was really just true behavioral modification, on our part as well as Sienna's part."
For more information on PCIT, call 610-799-8910.
When Marilyn Adams first took in her foster daughter in October 2012, the young girl was so wild that relatives questioned whether Adams would be able to handle her.
"When she first came, we didn't go out to dinner; we didn't go to church, not by myself. I would need to have someone with me, just in case she got away from me," Adams said. "We went to Maryland to visit my sister who lives there and she said, 'I don't know how you're going to do this.'"
But Adams, who has the support of KidsPeace's Fayetteville, N.C., Foster Care and Community Programs office, knew it would be OK, and she was right. Today, the 8-year-old has shown considerable behavioral improvement, does well in school, sits still in restaurants and loves art.
"Oh my goodness, she is so smart, and she absorbs everything. And she draws; you should see some of her drawings. She won first prize in her division in a county-wide art exposition," Adams said. "She drew a pig. This child is so amazing, she really is. I'm proud of her."
Still, even on the best days, parenting is not always easy.
"She's getting this attitude. If she decides she's not going to do something, she's determined," Adams said. "I try not to have a battle with her."
Adams' biological children are grown, and she also has 12 grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. She loves having children in her home and has fostered several youth, but this is only the second young child she has helped raise.
"It's so rewarding when you can see you've made a difference," she said. "I can see the changes in her. At first I couldn't, and everyone was telling me, 'Marilyn, you have done so well.'"
This girl is also Adams' longest placement, but the future is uncertain as she is up for adoption.
"I wish I was in the position to adopt (her)," she said. "But I just feel with my age, physically and mentally, I just don't feel like I would be a good candidate to adopt."]]>
Each year 20,000 to 25,000 foster children age out of the system and attempt to begin life on their own. Of the 500,000 children in care in the United States each year, this is a disturbing percentage. For many, foster care is a temporary service before returning home to a parent, moving in with a biological family member or even beginning a new life in an adopted home. Yet, for thousands who do not find reunification with family, reaching 18 or 21 years of age (depending on the state where they reside) can be a tremendously frightening experience.
Research has shown that most foster children struggle with academics. After- school and college tutoring programs are helpful to those who have aged out, as they not only help the young adult with the material being studied, but also help to develop stronger study learning skills. Communities can also help by setting up a college fund for foster children wishing to further their education. School supplies or bookstore gift cards can be donated to local foster care agencies who work with children who will soon age out.
Along with school supply donations, household goods are also of great use to aged-out youth. Clothes, bedding, cooking items, electrical appliances and furniture can be donated to local foster care agencies. As most former foster children struggle with money, it is likely that they will not have cars or means of transportation, so volunteering to give them a ride to job interviews, school events or medical appointments is also helpful.
For those businesses who wish to assist aged-out foster youth, discounts on services and goods are most helpful. Discounts on clothing; groceries; computers, phones and other electronic devices; medications and even legal and financial services, can help former foster youth. Those who own a business or service may also wish to consider hiring former foster children and helping them develop workforce skills.
Perhaps the biggest impact one can make with those who have aged out of the system is to become an advocate of change. By contacting lawmakers, politicians and publicity agents, one can bring attention to the needs of these young adults who are facing a series of challenges after leaving the foster care system. These advocates of change can also post information in editorial letters and on public forums. By lobbying for change, new laws can be introduced, and better information can be brought to the general public.
Dr. John DeGarmo has been a foster parent for 13 years, and he and his wife have had more than 45 children come through their home. He is a speaker and trainer on many topics about the foster care system, and travels around the nation delivering passionate, dynamic, energetic and informative presentations. Dr. DeGarmo is the author of several foster care books, including "Love and Mayhem: One Big Happy Family's Story of Fostering and Adoption." Dr. DeGarmo is the host of the weekly radio program Foster Talk with Dr. John. He can be contacted at email@example.com , through his Facebook page or at his website .
Throughout my career there are specific methods of engaging the workforce on all levels that have led to transformation and growth beyond one's wildest imagination.
The first step is providing vision of not only who we are and what we do, but how we get there and how we are with one another. The second is to always keep our eyes focused on the mission as the foundation of the organization. We cannot allow ourselves to be bridled by seeking rewards to the detriment of the mission. Third, in order to succeed at transformational change, we all must seek to be servant leaders, or in management parlance, practice "facilitative leadership." We need to seek out those who are on the front lines and ensure they have all they need to do their jobs as successfully as possible. In keeping with this model, when problems arise, they should see them process issues not personal ones. It is about solving problems through the culture of the organization; not trying to find out who messed up, but instead seeking out what happened.
These concepts are the foundation all endeavors, personal and corporate, need for success. The answers to these questions, in my experience, determine happiness, opportunity, intuition, intelligence and certainly personal and corporate spiritual and physical wealth. Let me ask you: What are your thoughts about the above statements? How do you see you responses to these ideas affecting your personal and corporate life? How do you live up to the expectations that are present in your responses? How do you choose to prioritize your life? The same goes for any corporation, whether it is one that deals in human services or manufacturing; anything that is done requires this level of vision and mission.
So how do we prioritize? We are called by virtue of our existence to live by the Golden Rule. This implies that healthy self-respect and love is required to love others in a healthy way. This is true in treatment, and especially relevant in 12-step programs. The same is true for a work environment. How is this manifested? First, the person and organization settle on a mission-driven course to solve a problem. Next, they set out to fulfill that mission as best they can through a defined process that keeps these concepts in mind.
Recently, KidsPeace Mesabi Academy underwent the Correctional Program Checklist (CPC) audit, which is completed every three years to determine effectiveness in the treatment of the youth in our care. It is an evidence-based scientific assessment in which three people ask similar questions, review procedures, observe treatment and link these reviews to behavioral expectations. In essence, they are linking the implementation of the vision and mission of our facility to what we say our mission and vision is. Do we indeed provide to our clients and staff, "hope, help and healing to children, families and communities"?
With each review, we are focused upon improving by being open to what these reviewers, truly our partners in care, have to say. This review allowed us to once again demonstrate our adherence to our mission to include all stakeholders in the care of very needy children, their families and our community at large.
To bring everyone on board to seek change and develop treatment that is transformative, we need to understand and continuously define and implement these concepts to keep us on a path of service that enriches all who embrace it.
That initiative, as well as two others, are now featured under the Hospital and Health System of Pennsylvania's stories of Healing, Health and Hope.
Check out the features on KidsPeace quiet carts and toolboxes as well as our Komfort Room, which is coming soon!
When Valaysha Colon first arrived at the KidsPeace Children's Hospital, she was an angry teenager who could not understand why her mom was getting in the way of everything she wanted to do, namely smoke, drink and fight.
Today, the 15-year-old from Allentown, Pa., is immensely grateful that her mom cared enough to intervene and that the staff at KidsPeace showed her there was a better way. She shared her story through a rap song she wrote and delivered Monday evening at the 30th annual KidsPeace Golf Classic at Brookside Country Club in Macungie.
Leidy Ocasio (right) of Allentown, attended the
dinner following the KidsPeace Golf Classic on June
15 to hear her daughter, Valaysha Colon, 15,
share what she has learned at KidsPeace.
"KidsPeace helped me a lot," Valaysha told the crowd before breaking into rhyme. "Before I came, I was heading down a really wrong path. I was putting my mom through anything and everything."
Valaysha recalled being restrained daily during her stay in the hospital. But something shifted in her mindset when she stepped down to the residential treatment program. There, she has gotten a second chance. She credits caring counselors for helping her realize that the actions that were causing her mom so much grief were also detrimental to her own future.
"I wouldn't call them mistakes because at the end of the day, they're lessons learned," she said.
In being open to changing her life for the better, Valaysha has gained perspective. She is grateful her mom refused to give up on her. She learned to trust. She has a plan for her future, and she no longer makes excuses or lets circumstances detract from her goals and dreams.
"You may think you have the worst life, and you may think you've been through everything, but life is what you make of it," she said.
She is looking forward to going home because she knows now that she controls what comes next.
"When I grow up I actually want to work at KidsPeace," she said. "And I want to be a motivational speaker."
Judging by the emotional reactions from the crowd and the standing ovation that followed her speech, she already is. Here is Valaysha's story:
Ima just put it like this …
Before I came here, I was heading down the wrong path.
I guess you could say, I thought I had it bad.
Until I heard all the stories here, it made me really sad.
This girl was only eight and got abused by her dad.
It opened my eyes and made me realize …
That I have a good mom, and she will never leave my side.
This place changed me.
Before I came here, I was really angry.
I was a little girl living in this big world …
Tryna find who I am, I hope I can make you understand.
I had poor self-esteem.
Just wanted to live Marilyn Monroe's theme.
Curvy waist, good shape, with a pretty face …
Man, she was livin the dream.
So they put me in "Inner Beauty"
Hoping that it would get through to me.
And it did …
It clicked like magic.
I finally realized that life wasn't so tragic.
And that I may not be perfect, but I am worth it.
Being here I found a new way to cope instead of using my fist.
I picked up a pen and started writing like this
Started thinking about life …
This is my second chance, I gotta do this right.
For my happiness and freedom, I will never stop the fight.
Through all the pain I felt here, sometimes I'd sit back and laugh.
To come and think about it, it was really all my staff.
They were always there for me.
They helped me find the part of me I couldn't always see.
I have it now, and I'll never let it go.
I'm strong, confident, and beautiful …
And that will always show.
Remember that time I had a bad family session.
I was so angry, I couldn't relieve the tension.
Stormed to my room so I could be by myself.
But staff were always behind me and pulled my feelings off the shelf.
They always had my back, which built up my trust.
Even when I got mad, slipped up and would cuss.
But I learned from my mistakes …
That's the name of the game.
But it's really not a game ...
I had to face all my pain.
Staff always told me I was inspirational.
And that my words were always gonna be motivational.
That's why I use my words …
For days like today …
To prove you that if you started where I did …
In the end everything will be okay.
Well, there is a place just like that! TeenCentral.Net is a FREE, ANONYMOUS online resource. Teens who visit the site register with a fictitious username and password then write their "stories" -- whatever is on their mind at the time for which they are seeking feedback, advice or just a sympathetic ear. Each story gets sent to a secure database where TeenCentral.Net's trained counselors read and respond within 24 hours. While all the original stories and responses are posted on the site, no one ever knows who the writer is or where he or she is from.
So if you or someone you know is dealing with a bully, not getting along with your siblings or parents or are just in need of an answer or somewhere to vent, TeenCentral.Net is the place to go. Check out this commercial to learn more about how TeenCentral.Net is helping real teens.]]>
Kids love pretending they are superheroes, emulating the strength, courage and wile of their favorite characters. But a program being used at KidsPeace Children's Hospital is actually teaching pre-adolescents to look within themselves to find their own super powers.
"Superflex®: A Superhero Social Thinking® Curriculum," written by speech pathologists Stephanie Madrigal and Michelle Garcia Winner, was rolled out at the hospital in January, and is used in Master's-level clinician groups every weekday. The goal is to eventually train more staff in the program so it can be used on weekends as well. The idea behind Superflex®, said Jess Racine, Director of Social Services for the hospital, is that each child has this superhero inside of himself that allows him to be flexible and overcome the Team of Unthinkables©.
The 14 Unthinkables display behaviors that do not take into account other people's feelings or the best way to handle a situation. For example, Rock Brain makes people get stuck on their own ideas; Glassman causes people to have large, upset reactions; Brain Eater is a master of distraction, WasFunnyOnce attempts to capitalize on humor at inappropriate times and Space Invader does not respect other people's personal boundaries. With each activity, the clients are challenged to use Superflex® to overcome these less desirable behaviors.
"The idea is they all have this Superflex® within themselves, so they're trying to bring it out and not have those Unthinkables take over," Racine said.
The 27-day curriculum, which KidsPeace has adapted for use in an inpatient setting, involves comic books, worksheets and other activities that help the children learn, in a non-threatening manner, to modify their behaviors to meet social expectations. The key lies in teaching children to defeat the Unthinkables with brains, not brawn.]]>
The first thing Tyrone and Teresa Morris would tell you is that they are blessed.
Blessed with two beautiful children who are now grown, blessed with a 3-year-old girl they are raising and consider their own granddaughter, blessed with the health and vigor to help teenage moms through KidsPeace's Mother/Baby Foster Care program in Columbia, Md.
When the couple became foster parents in 2012, they knew they were meant to help young moms find their way and give their babies the best shot at life.
"I was a teenage mother and I didn't have the assistance of someone helping me or showing me the things I should do, the way to go. As I retired, God laid on my heart to do this," Teresa said.
After talking to a colleague who had fostered through KidsPeace, Teresa made up her mind.
Photo Courtesy of Thinkstock
KidsPeace's Mother-Baby Foster Care Program
allows young moms to get on their feet and
learn crucial life skills.
"I knew I could do that. I could help a young lady out. I could show her the right way to go," she said. "I've been filled with joy and delight since that time."
In 2013, the Morrises invited a teenage mom and her then 1.5-year-old baby into their home. The mom and her siblings had been in foster care previously because of neglect in their biological home. In the Mother/Baby Program, the baby is not technically in foster care, but when the mom turned 21 in April and aged out of the system, she knew she was not prepared to take care of her daughter on her own. So she signed over parental rights to the Morrises for six months.
"She's just like a granddaughter of our own," Teresa said.
The little girl's mom, meanwhile, is trying to get on her feet. She lives about 10 minutes away, so she is able to visit with her daughter whenever she wants. She is engaged, expecting another baby and working at Pizza Hut while she considers returning to school to be a veterinary assistant. In the meantime, she knows Teresa and Tyrone will always welcome her into their home.
"One of the greatest joys I had is when (she) comes back for dinner and tells my wife she misses her cooking or calls on Mother's Day," Tyrone said. "My worry was that she would leave and forget about us, but she's very much a part of our family."
Still, watching the foster youth leave their home is never easy.
"At first, when my wife talked to me about (foster care), I was a little hesitant about opening my home to strangers," Tyrone said. "But that ended up being the easy part. The hardest part is letting go."
Tyrone and Teresa accept the uncertainty that comes with the territory. They try to take each day at a time, enjoying the opportunity to shape the life of a 3-year-old, even if she might not stay with them forever.
"I understand being raised by someone else, but at the same time, you still yearn to be with your biological parents," said Tyrone, who was raised by his grandmother after his mom abandoned him as a child. "And despite what we want, we know that's what's best for her, if her mother is able to take care of her."
In addition to the joy of expanding their own family through foster care, Tyrone and Teresa are grateful for the support of their caseworkers and fellow foster parents.
"We absolutely love what we do. But we also love KidsPeace as well," Tyrone said. "We look forward to just being with our KidsPeace family."
The Morrises are preparing to welcome another mom and baby into their home, and in the meantime, the 20-year-old aunt of their "granddaughter" is also living with them because she found she prefers a family setting to the independent living situation she was in previously.
"We do for the kids exactly what we did for our own kids," Tyrone said. "It brings life into our home. The only drawback is I wish we had more room and would be able to take in more kids."
Still, foster care presents its challenges, and Tyrone said in the beginning, he found himself praying for God to deal with some of the young women and the difficult issues they presented. But what he discovered was that his prayers led to a change in himself instead, and he now cannot imagine what their life would be like if they were not foster parents.
"Foster care has helped to make me into a better person, a more patient person, a more loving person," Tyrone said. "I can honestly say that this program has brought out the best in me."]]>
By Bevin Theodore
When Jill Callela met Lydia, the little girl did not talk and rarely even looked at those who tried to engage her.
But Callela, a behavioral health professional with KidsPeace in Bangor, Maine, felt an instant connection with the child and knew that beyond the mask of autism was a girl longing to be drawn out and loved. Callela had worked with Lydia in her biological home and while she was in foster care. Months after she stopped seeing her, she ran into Lydia in the community and instantly felt that connection to her again.
"It was just a meant to be kind of meeting. And people were noticing it," Callela said. "I kind of knew at that moment, it was time to step up… I could just see all kinds of potential in her and knew that I had what it would take to unlock it."
Callela and her husband, Paul, were not licensed to be foster parents, so they had to move quickly to prepare for Lydia, who came to their home on Oct. 1, 2014.
"She came in and it was just as smooth as if she had always lived here," Callela said.
Since that time, the now 7-year-old has started talking and making eye contact and is doing well in school. Her formerly severe behavioral issues have started to taper off; she has gone three months with no incidents, is spending more time in the mainstream classroom at school and is interacting more with her peers.
"I know she's so smart and she had so much locked inside," Callela said. "And she's so happy now. The minute you put the phone up and she knows it's picture time, she stops and poses."
The Callelas adopted Lydia on May 5. Callela said one of the most rewarding things has been seeing Lydia enjoy the people around her, especially her older brothers, Dominic, 19, and Anthony, 20, and her grandparents, who live right across the street. It has been a family effort to improve her communication skills, and Callela, who previously worked with children on the Autism Spectrum, had the tools to help Lydia blossom.
"I grew up with foster children," Callela said. "And working in the field, you can't help but think you want to help certain kids. It's always been in the back of my mind that I wished I could do more. But it wouldn't have come to the forefront before Lydia."
By Bevin Theodore
Vicki and Neil Doucette are getting ready to say goodbye to the little boy they have called a son for nearly three years.
It is the side of foster care that some people fear and that deters others from opening their homes to children in need. But the Doucettes know that this is the right move, even if they will miss him because he is finding his forever family.
Their foster son is the first medically fragile child they have cared for since becoming foster parents through KidsPeace's Williamsville, N.Y. Foster Care and Community Programs office. The boy has cerebral palsy, is legally blind and has a processing problem, among other health issues.
"It's so hard to juggle because with my own kids, I just say, 'get in the car,' He can't do that," Vicki said. "I'm getting older, he's getting heavier."
Still, as their family prepares for the upcoming transition, Vicki worries about how the boy, who is very attached to Neil, will handle the move.
"I don't know if he understands any of it," she said. "I tell him that she's going to be his new mommy, that he's going to live with her in her house."
The Doucettes, who have three biological children – 17, 20 and 23 – started fostering about 10 years ago. Though they had never known anyone else who had foster children, Vicki just knew it was something she wanted to do.
"I always liked kids and always knew there were lots of kids out there who needed a home," she said.
The couple has housed 14 foster children, with their most recent placement being the longest. Vicki equates caring for a medically needy child to having an infant.
"You're changing diapers, feeding. I can't sit down and eat my dinner because it's I take a bite, he takes a bite," she said. "When you have a baby, you say, 'Oh my gosh, this child screams two hours a night every night,' but then in two months, they don't do that anymore."
But despite the challenges, she has seen a lot of growth in the boy over the past few years. He now likes to be included in conversation, even if he cannot join in, he has learned to control negative behaviors like biting and screaming and he has learned some words, even if he does not always choose to use them.
"We take baby steps. All those little things are a big deal," Vicki said. "I don't think people give him enough credit for things."
As Vicki prepares to say goodbye, she hopes his new family will allow them to keep in touch.
"I don't want him to think we don't love him anymore," she said.
Cyberbullying is pretty much the same as traditional bullying. It is used to torment and harass children, only this time it is done in online world. Children use social media websites like Instagram and Facebook to bully each other online as well as chat platforms like Skype, Viber, WhatsApp and traditional phone texting.
According to a recent study, children spend about four hours a day online, 80 percent of the time via smartphones, making it a major medium for cyberbullying.
While online bullying is similar to traditional bullying, it has one significant difference – there is practically no escape from it. If traditional bullying stops when kids graduate from high school, cyberbullying does not have an ending. Below are the most recent statistics:
Although it sounds desperate, there are ways to control and even prevent cyberbullying among children.
Pay attention to mood changes. Notice if your child acts oddly after going online. He/she can express anger, anxiety or even hysteria after visiting social media websites or chatting with someone on the phone. Rapid weight changes (gaining or losing), mood swings, repeated headaches, social isolation and heightened privacy about online time may be the first signs of cyberbullying.
Talk to your child. There is nothing simpler than having a conversation with your child. Find out what he/she knows about cyberbullying. Ask if your child has a friend who is being bullied so you can understand which side your child is on and what kind of problems you will have to solve.
Monitor online activity. Although no one wants to be a big brother, there is practically no other way to protect children than to monitor their online activity. Apps like Pumpic can help you track social media accounts, IM chats and basic texting. In addition, you can monitor a real-time GPS location of your child and block access to websites intended for adults.
Play a celebrity card. Kids usually copy their teen celebrities and luckily there are those who stand against cyberbullying. Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber share a lot of information in their social media profiles about cyberbullying and other online dangers. Most of them inspire children with personal stories and tips.
Cyberbullying may be a problem most adults cannot understand, but if you want to protect your children, you simply cannot ignore it.
This is a guest post by P. Geek. She is currently involved in a volunteering anti-bullying program in New York and is also a contributor to http://pumpic.com.
By Bevin Theodore
Rachel and Jeremy Bousquet always wanted children, but they never expected to become parents so quickly.
Denise Card, the site manager for KidsPeace's Foster Care and Community Programs office in Bangor, Maine, was scrambling last month to find a new home for two girls who were already in foster care but needed a new placement. After searching high and low among licensed foster homes in the area, to no avail, she reached out to Rachel Bousquet, Director of Educational Services for KidsPeace Graham Lake in Ellsworth, Maine. Even though the Bousquets had never fostered before, Card knew their experience in education and love of children would make them a good fit. Within eight days Bousquet and her husband, Jeremy, became foster parents to the sisters, 11 and 16.
"We worked really hard for four straight days of literally not sleeping, to get their bedrooms ready," Rachel said. "It was fun work."
The girls arrived in the United States from The Democratic Republic of the Congo last year. It is still unclear what led them to the country or why they were unaccompanied, but the Bousquets are much more concerned with making them feel at home than worrying about their background.
"They're here now, and we have a responsibility to these children," Rachel said. "It feels like they've been with us forever."
While the Bousquets are in the process of getting licensed through the Department of Health and Human Services – they cannot foster through KidsPeace since Rachel is an employee – the girls will not have any interruption to the clinical support services and case management they have been receiving.
"Everything's kind of backwards for us, because the girls are here with us first, but it's been fine," Rachel said. "My husband and I are very smitten with them. They are beautiful inside and out. They have good hearts. They are very loving girls. Really, what they needed was a loving and supportive home, and that's something we can provide to them."
Rachel said the sisters are both doing very well in school; are involved in track, field hockey and soccer and love to dance and sing. Their new foster parents are already getting them involved in charitable community work, and the entire family participated in an autism walk in April.
"It's definitely been a transition for them, and with any kid, transitions are hard. They're still getting to know us, and we're getting to know them," Rachel said. "We're learning too. I definitely don't have all the answers to being a parent."
But their combined 20 years in the education field has positioned them well for parenthood because they have encountered children with so many different needs.
"It hasn't been too much of an adjustment honestly. I think things happen for a reason," Rachel said. "Everyone (in the Bangor office) has been so supportive. My husband and I are grateful to have the girls with us. We know there are challenges we'll face but we know with the services we've been given, we'll be helped and supported."
Ultimately, the Bousquets hope to adopt the girls, if that is what they want as well. For now, they are simply enjoying the process of becoming a family. And Rachel hopes their story will encourage other people to consider fostering.
"There are so many wonderful children who need homes," she said.
By Bevin Theodore
Yvonne Kizis' days are a blur of diapers, feedings, baths and doctors' appointments.
It is the typical frenzy that new parents know all too well – sleepless nights, endless worry, learning to discern different cries, never enough time for themselves. But Kizis is not mothering babies. Her three youngest children are 6, 12 and 13, yet their medical needs are so severe that they are in many ways as helpless as newborns. All parents want their children to be healthy, and those caring for even one child with special needs can attest to how utterly exhausting each day can be. But amid the incessant care-giving, Kizis sees hope rather than despair, and her children are enveloped in her unconditional love. After all, she chose to be their mom.
Akeely, 6, Giovanni, 12, and Alnaim, 13, are the youngest of eight children Kizis adopted, after giving birth to three children of her own – Jason, Jared and Jenni. When Kizis, of Milton, Pa., reached out to KidsPeace's Foster Care and Community Programs office in Williamsport in 2008, she was no stranger to foster care and adoption, having already adopted five other children – Derrel, now 24; Erica, 26; Raheem, 20; Malcolm, 22; and Sean, 26. While all of the children she adopted came to her with medical needs – ranging from cerebral palsy to heart defects to Ehlers-Danlos syndrome to autism – this last trio is by far the most severe.
Laughter, tears and a mother's unconditional love
When Kizis first saw a video of Alnaim in 2010, she was taken aback by how he was just sitting in his wheelchair, the left side of his body paralyzed. She did not know if she had the strength to take on a child who needed total care. But then she went to New Jersey to meet him, and she knew she was meant to be his mom.
"You couldn't help but fall in love with the little guy," she said. "He's just awesome."
Alnaim, who was born with drugs in his system and has a seizure disorder, was placed in a wheelchair at 15 months old. He is blind, fed through a Gastrostomy tube (G-Tube) and has undergone surgery for scoliosis and dislocated hips. He cannot talk, and it is unclear how much he understands, yet he laughs all the time, a reminder of the pure joy intertwined with the more difficult moments.
Akeely also has a G-tube because, while she can eat by mouth, she would not survive with the amount of nutrition she could take in on her own. Two years ago, she began walking, but still spends much of each day in her wheelchair. She does not talk, and her most frequent form of communication remains self-biting then crying. Her arms are wrapped from wrist to elbow to prevent her from further injuring herself, and Kizis describes her as "beyond wild" and in need of constant supervision. Doctors have speculated that she might have autism, but an official diagnosis has not been handed down. Yet Kizis clings to the hopeful signs that Akeely will continue to show progress – she is learning some sign language and is in the early stages of potty training.
"I can't figure her out yet. I've seen a lot of different kids with a lot of different issues," Kizis said. "But I think she'll be the one who proves a lot of people wrong."
Giovanni lived with his birth family until he was 7. Like Akeely and Alnaim, he does not talk or walk, but he can sit cross-legged to crawl across the floor. He relies on a G-tube for most of his nutrition because of severe food allergies and suffers from a disorder that causes him to have drop seizures. But his face lights up when his mom asks if he wants to watch "Dora the Explorer," and his voice rises in a wail as he tries to sing along to the soothing Christian music she plays on the radio. It is little moments like these that keep Kizis going – the way Akeely hands Alnaim a stretchy toy that is attached to her wheelchair or simply reaches out her arm until he grabs her hand and doesn't let go.
Exhausting work and boundless rewards
"I love doing this. Some people just don't understand," Kizis said. "I just feel like this is my calling."
When Kizis was 24, she was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Disease. Beating cancer made her realize her life was meant for something more. Still, it is not easy, as she struggles to get immobile children in and out of bed; wakes to Alnaim pulling out his feeding tube, formula spraying across the room; and juggles a range of doctor's appointments that could be a full-time job on their own. What would be a typical outing for another family – to a restaurant or the park – is a Herculean feat for Kizis, whose van only fits two wheelchairs. She looks forward to summer, when the nurses who accompany her children to school will come to the house once a week, allowing them to get out for a change of scenery.
"I often said if I ever won the lottery, I'd build a big house in the country and maybe take in more kids and give them a home, build a big playground," Kizis said. "It's bad enough people have to put their parents in a nursing home, let alone these kids. And some of them, with their health problems, they'd have to stay there until they're old. That's sad."
Kizis was married until 2000, and her ex-husband moved back into her home a few years ago, although she adopted the youngest three children on her own. Her adoption journey is ongoing, as she was recently matched with a 6-year-old medically fragile girl who needs a home.
"I was married at 16, and I had my kids young. I just always enjoyed kids," she said. "But if somebody would've told me 'This is what your family's going to end up looking like,' I would have said 'No way.'"
When we became foster parents, we wondered how we would tell the children who saw us as strangers that we cared for them. "I love you" might sound more frightening than comforting the first night we tucked them in.
We settled on "lucky to know you." It felt right the first time I said it and even better when from their bunk beds, siblings called back, "Lucky to know you, Mommy Sue."
Of course, they weren't terribly lucky. Children who can't find security in their parents' arms and are taken by a stranger to a house full of strangers can't feel that luck has been on their side. But if foster care has taught us anything, it's that children are, luckily, incredibly resilient.
We've been lucky to know 19 children so far—some for days, others for a birthday or two.
Four years ago, we agreed to do respite care and met a quiet little girl who had just started to walk. A month later, we were asked to take her in when her foster mother had given notice. We enjoyed every minute with her, up to the moment of reunification. Michelle went home. We felt broken. Then, one day before Thanksgiving, we got a phone call. We had an hour to prepare ourselves. Nearly a year after we agreed to do respite, that same child was coming back. Would she think that we abandoned her? I mean, what 18-month old would think we let her go so she could be loved by her mother? When I opened the car door, she stretched to reach me with excitement. Lucky.
This second time around, the birth mom decided that what was best for Michelle was being with us. We signed a Post-Adoption Contact Agreement (PACA), outlining the terms for our evolving relationship once Michelle became our daughter. So far, monthly visits are going well. She seems to feel lucky, lucky to know her daughter.
With foster care, you need to be flexible. Things happen without notice. You get a call after the court hearing. Surprise, the child you love is going home in an hour. You get a call from a caseworker -- a child you don't know will be there in an hour. Friends marvel at the inconsequential—what if you don't have a crib? Strangers are baffled by the consequential—isn't it hard when they leave? Neither would stop you from doing it again and again, because children deserve to be safe and secure. And, we're lucky to know these beautiful children. While it's hard, often very hard, to be a foster parent, you don't go it alone. Extraordinary people come into your life.
On Janu. 31, 2014, Michelle's adoption was finalized. Every caseworker came—either to the courthouse or to our house the next day. With a "Frozen"-themed adoption party to follow, Michelle went to the courthouse in her Elsa dress. As caseworkers embraced her, we felt lucky indeed.
I still tell my daughter that I'm lucky; I'm lucky to be her mommy. At bedtime, I ask her "who loves you so, so, much?" She always starts with "you, Daddy, Lacy (our dog), and her foster sibling." I add names—family members, birth mom, friends.
The beginning of a foster story is always unlucky—a scared child goes to a stranger's house. We hope that foster care ends with a happy reunification, and parents who will make their child feel safe and secure as long as they breathe. But, when that doesn't happen, and a child comes back to foster care, we hope it's not through another stranger's door. We were lucky to know a child, who reached out for us when she came back. Today, that kindergartner knows she's loved. She feels safe, knowing Mommy or Daddy will come sleep in her room during a thunderstorm. She's secure, happy to try new things. She's lucky. We all are.
1. Help kids learn to express their feelings.
2. Does the youth know how to convey respect, caring, honesty and trustworthiness (e.g. saying thank you, not being rude, tone of voice, valuing others' opinions, not keeping people waiting, being inclusive, accepting responsibility for a mistake)?
3. Does the youth know how to greet someone and introduce himself?
4. Help young people learn social skills and develop at least one friendship.
5. Can the youth carry on a conversation and maintain comfortable eye contact?
6. Teach youth ways to have fun without spending lots of money.
7. Connect youth with a religious organization.
8. Start a Lifebook that tells the child's story and contains important papers, pictures of family and other mementos.
9. Teach kids how often household chores need to be done to keep a house reasonably clean.
10. Show youth how to properly dispose of garbage, including recycling.
11. Teach youth what cleaning products and equipment to use for different jobs and how to use them, including how to change a vacuum cleaner bag.
12. Show youth the best places to shop for food, clothing and furniture.
13. Teach good kitchen hygiene, such as washing hands before preparing food and using safe practices to defrost and prepare food.
14. Teach youth how to read food labels for nutritional values and expiration dates.
15. Show youth how to tell if fruits and vegetables are fresh when shopping.
16. Teach kids how to use the store flyers and coupons and how to comparison shop.
17. Have youth plan and shop for one week's worth of meals within a budget.
18. Teach youth how to use utensils, an oven and a microwave.
19. Have the youth cook a meal using a recipe and be able to adjust it to feed more or fewer people.
20. Teach the youth to prepare at least five different meals.]]>
I've said it dozens of times. "We are all of who we are at work, and more so." Every life experience; every bit of learning from our earliest recollection; our upbringing; our spirituality; our rational and irrational proclivities all come together with everyone else's to become an 18 molar solution of humanity in the workplace. So, when there is a major or minor task to be completed, all of this humanity needs to be focused in a productive direction. All of this massive human diversity and all of the correlating behavioral need to be understood and utilized for the common good of the organization.
But how in heaven's name do we do that?
The first thing that needs to be done when gathering talent for a task within the workplace is to establish a cultural foundation of the group. It needs to be genuine and meaningful to those attending. Depending upon the group, I will say something akin to, "I need all of your expertise and creativity for this task (whatever it is). We have the solutions in this group. We're searching for gold, a vein of which is within each of us. Together we become the riches of the organization." This opening statement serves two purposes. The first is to empower each participant and truly believe in them. The second is to also empower them to be the same with those they supervise, or mentor or serve. This allows for more freeing conversations and the ability to look at the issue with a greater optimism.
Model and reinforce the free exchange of ideas based upon the goal and mission of the group. I heartily recommend you say, "This group gathered for (name the mission or goal to be achieved) respects the dignity of every human being while here and when we leave this group." It is one thing to think it, but it is an entirely different thing altogether to state it out loud and then to act the way a person so dedicated acts. The group will focus upon mutual respect, honesty, calm and assertive communication, all while establishing the objective behaviors every person expects to see as a result of this work and goal.
The defining of the tasks and expectations within the group, and thereby the organization, is accomplished through measurable and objective terms. It is a major accomplishment when a diverse group can agree on these terms and feel comfortable with them, regardless of their personal history or beliefs. The stage is then set to proceed with a given strategy. When these issues are addressed, when the natural ebb and flow of group dynamics occurs, that is forming, norming, storming and performing. Each and every one of us wants to be heard and wants to contribute in every way possible for the good of the organization.
When people have a drive to assist and to want to further the goals and reach of the organization, that is energy and drive capable of moving an organization in ways it had never thought possible. This creative energy, in my view, is the life's blood of an organization. It needs to be nurtured and put to use in ways that further the mission and vision of any organization for it to grow and develop. This energy can lift us all to be able to see a bit over the horizon and capture a glimpse of the bright future an organization has.
Next time, I'll cover a process of implementation and measurement, bringing many hands to one powerful task.
The popularity of video games has continued to rise over the years and the technology for games has advanced to a level that makes it an affordable form of entertainment for people of all ages. There are literally thousands of games available for almost instant play at any time. Unfortunately the negative aspects of video games often get much more media exposure than the positive effects. Scientists and researchers are discovering that there is a lot of potential for video games to be used as an educational tool. Here are some of the positive educational opportunities that video games can offer children of all ages.
Video games teach problem solving
When playing a game, there are set goals and incentives. Although the problems might not be the same as in real life, the basic premise is. Unless you solve the problem, you won't reach your goal. Also, the problem has to be solved in a way that is acceptable. This requires children to figure out and plan a strategy to reach their goals. Problem solving can lead to success in life.
Emotional health
Some simple games help children to relax and calm down. This is important because when children are upset they are not as open to learning and have a hard time paying attention to key concepts. Examples of simple games are the popular Angry Birds series or other games that can be played on even a smartphone.
Memory and concentration
Hidden object games have a lot of fans. They allow children to go on an exciting adventure with a great storyline while teaching concentration, memory skills and problem solving. Many games can be solved in as little as eight hours of game play, so they are great for those that are not into games that take weeks to conquer. Other games take longer and novice gamers can work their way up to longer ames.
Overcomes learning obstacles
No child is impossible to teach. Children learn differently. That is why some conventional methods of teaching do not lead to academic success. A one-size-fits-all approach results in some children being left behind. This can lead to a myriad of problems that can impact their success as adults. Video game learning can reach children who are having a hard time learning via books and tests. When learning is fun, children are not as resistant to it. Video games can also build skills that make learning via traditional methods less cumbersome and boring to the child.
Makes history and other cultures more accessible
While taking your children to another country might be cost prohibitive, teaching them about other cultures and history through video games is easy and inexpensive. There are many history-based games such as Civilization and, for older kids and teens, even games like Rome: Total War or the Age of Empires series. Children pick up on historical facts by listening to the narration and exploring through the game. There are countless games out there that pick a book or historical event and base the entire game on that. When history seems vivid and exciting, children and young adults retain facts and timelines more easily.
Video games can help kids make friends
Kids getting together to play video games fosters friendships through a shared hobby. If the game has educational aspects then you are fostering an environment of competitive learning. Even if children and teens live far apart, they can still communicate and play games together via the Internet. Headsets allow them to talk to each other easily as well. Kids who have trouble making friends can actually become more social through video games than they otherwise would be, despite the stereotype of gamers being socially isolated and awkward individuals. Bobby Kotick, of Activision Blizzard, is famous for making the popular Warcraft game franchise as popular as it is. The Warcraft series is played in real-time all over the world and has created many friendships.
Helps children explore and learn job skills
There are many games that can help children and teens explore different occupations. Games such as Surgery Simulator and Farm Simulator are extremely popular, often outselling even top action games. While these games cannot match real-life experience they can get kids thinking about their future and considering what they would like to do while gaining some of the knowledge and skills they need to make a successful career as adults.
Video games teach team building and empathy
There are a lot of multiplayer games out there that force gamers to work as a team. At the same time, many story lines in games involve helping others achieve a goal or make their lives better. Kotick took the connection between empathy and video games one step further by creating the Call of Duty Endowment, which is a non-profit that assists soldiers returning home find jobs in the civilian sector and make an easier transition when coming home from overseas.
Maintaining a balance
While video games can be a valuable educational tool, if used too much they can have some negative effects. The same can be said for almost anything that is used daily. Drinking too much water can be harmful as well but you don't see that being broadcast in the media. Parents can help children use video games in a healthy way by limiting game play and influencing what games are played at certain ages.
One of Kotick's latest contributions to the gaming world is unique parental controls that allow parents to limit and control game time with ease. Lashing out at a child or teen for a specific game often just causes contention. Providing them with another game or another stimulating activity can help them not take game play too far. Sometimes if a child or teen becomes obsessive about a game it is because they don't have enough going on in other areas of their life.]]>
Attention-deficit disorders are getting a lot of press right now. The number of children in America diagnosed with these disorders is growing at an exponential rate – and it seems to be a peculiarly American problem. Arguments over whether the issue is biological – i.e. an issue caused by the chemical and physical properties of the child's brain – or behavioral – i.e a situational disorder caused by underlying psychological issues which should be treated through therapy rather than drugs – rage back and forth. Some argue that ADHD doesn't exist at all, that it's a doctor's get-out clause covering a cluster of other conditions, that it's a convenient excuse for poor parenting and badly brought-up kids, that it's a symptom of our over-protective, over-medicated society. Meanwhile, parents whose children have been diagnosed with attention-deficit disorders struggle to contend with all of this stigma while simultaneously dealing with problematic children. Whatever the truth of the issue, families afflicted with ADHD clearly deserve help and support – and that is precisely what KidsPeace exists to provide.
The Impact of ADHD
The trend in America is to treat ADHD as a biological disorder, which should be treated with medication. Elsewhere in the world, it is considered to be a psychological disorder brought on by things like inadequate boundary-setting in early childhood, lack of exercise and the domestic situation. European guidelines advise against medicating children with ADHD and focus instead on therapeutic approaches. The American way is to give the affected child drugs like Ritalin. Both approaches appear to have a degree of success, rendering the ultimate cause of the disorder (or disorders) something of a moot point. What is clear, however, is that ADHD causes an immense amount of suffering to both the affected children and their families. They symptoms of ADHD cause children (and adults) to behave in a manner that society considers unacceptable. All sorts of negative labels, such as 'flaky', 'procrastinators', 'unruly' and 'disruptive' are applied to ADHD sufferers. These make it very hard for the affected child to get ahead in life. Making friends and prospering at school is nearly impossible with ADHD, which is stressful for the child and upsetting for the parent.
Parental Problems
The parents of children with ADHD, however much they love their offspring, frequently find themselves frustrated. Studies show that the ADHD 'mindset' and the way in which children with ADHD are treated by society may influence criminal behavior, which begins as worrisome childhood disruptiveness. Parents of kids with ADHD learn to be incredibly in tune with their child's moods and emotions, but the highs and lows of attention-deficit disorders take a huge toll on many parents' patience. You have to develop an immense amount of tolerance and understanding for children that just can't seem to grasp the basics of acceptable behavior, while simultaneously consistently following through with any rules you lay down for them. It's a big ask, especially when you may have a job and a marriage to hold down, and/or other children to concentrate on. Furthermore, everyone else is either an expert on what you should be doing to tackle the condition, or thinks that your child's behavior is your fault. Little wonder that so many parents slacken off in their efforts, or get frustrated and take it out on the child. These parents may need help even more than their suffering offspring.
KidsPeace provides breathing space – a much needed chance for children with ADHD to be somewhere non-judgemental, and get the help and support they need from trained professionals. It also provides a degree of validation for parents – reassurance that it's completely normal to feel frustrated, it's how you deal with that frustration which makes the difference. KidsPeace does not judge or denigrate you, and does not refer to your child as a 'problem.' Instead, they accept children for who they are, and try to help them adjust to a world which may not be quite so understanding. Most importantly of all, they help parents to understand that they are not alone, that there are others out there suffering like them, that they can help each other and that there is a lot more support and love out there for them should they need it.]]>
Each year, the televised airing of the Super Bowl is as much about the commercials as it is about football. Super Bowl XLIX was no exception to this; however, this year, viewers noted a definite shift in paradigm. While over the years, Super Bowl commercials have garnered attention through comedy, slapstick and adult innuendo, the 2015 commercials tended to evoke more poignant emotion from its viewers. In addition to marketing for the typical snack foods, candy, beverages and vehicles, there were also an array of commercials that addressed more serious topics: cyberbullying, domestic violence, the roles of fathers and mothers in their children's lives, safety, friendship and meaningful relationships.
The shift indicates several dynamics: First, more than one company thought it was important to communicate with the public on some serious topics. Advertisers pay a great deal of money to get their messages out during the Super Bowl, and the fact that they spent their dollars to make poignant statements about important, serious subjects indicates that they felt it would be a good use of their advertising budgets. Second, as a society, we are impacted by this touch of humanity. In these days after the game, people are still talking about and commenting on some of the most emotional commercials. In a world where we are bombarded by messaging on an almost constant basis via television, radio, the internet and print, we are showing that we are impacted by deep, significant messages. And third, as a society, we are responsive to human need. Even as our communities seem to trend toward less "human" contact and more digital contact, we continue to be moved by and responsive to situations which demand the human touch.
The increase in serious, emotional commercials does not mean that the humor disappeared altogether, however. There were still plenty of opportunities to laugh during the commercial breaks. After all, it has long been known that experiencing a wide range of emotions sets humans apart from other species. In that manner, the 2015 Super Bowl commercials accomplished exactly what advertisers set out to do: Make the television viewers laugh, cry, comment and debate – and keep the important discussions going long after the game clock ran out.
Check out the graphic below, submitted by Amy Williams, to get an idea of what your teenager might be encountering online. And take a few moments today to talk to your teen about being safe online, establish boundaries for mobile device usage and maybe even devise a contract about how computers and mobile devices will be used. It is a conversation you can't afford to avoid.
Youth Mental Health First Aid is primarily designed for adults who regularly interact with young people. The course introduces common mental health challenges for youth, reviews typical adolescent development and teaches a five-step action plan for how to help young people in both crisis and non-crisis situations. Topics covered include anxiety, depression, substance use, disorders in which psychosis may occur, disruptive behavior disorders (including AD/HD) and eating disorders.
If you know of someone who could benefit from this training, please share the information.]]>
Studies indicate that more teens are becoming addicted to pornography, and the effects are impacting their academic, social and emotional growth. Review the warning signs in this infographic from HelpYourTeenNow, and talk to your teen today, before the problem spirals out of control.
Need more support? Check out our ParentCentral.Net Facebook page, where you can talk to parents just like you and get feedback on tricky situations.
Being placed into foster care is often a time of great emotion and trauma for a child. Emergency removals often occur late in the evening, with little to no warning, leaving the child and the caseworker unprepared. Foster children leave their homes with a quick goodbye, with only a few articles of clothing and perhaps a prized possession hurriedly stuffed into plastic bags. Before they know it, they are standing in front of people they have never met before. Against their will, they are in a strange place, their new home. With most children in foster care, it is a time of fear and uncertainty when even the bravest are scared. Foster children have no say in where they are placed or when they will go back to their birth families. It is this lack of control that often sends children in foster care spiraling into depression, anxiety or behavioral issues.
Anxiety issues can manifest themselves in a number of ways. Perhaps the one that foster children face the most is separation anxiety. The more a child is moved, the bigger the concern becomes. Children who undergo multiple displacements often create walls to separate themselves in an attempt to not let others into their lives. In attempting to do so, many foster children end up lying to their foster families, as they try to keep their new family at a distance and maintain a sense of personal control.
Many children placed into foster care suffer from mental health issues. A placement disruption may be so severe to the child that it feels as if his entire world is falling apart. Everything foster children know to be true is now turned upside down. Their parents are no longer there to comfort them when they are troubled. The family members they lived with, laughed with and cried with is no longer there to take care of them. The beds they woke up in each morning are now different. For many foster children, the school they went to, the teachers they learned from and the friends they had formed relationship with, have also been taken from them. Instead, these children now live with strange families, wake each morning in different houses, sit in unfamiliar classrooms and are no longer surrounded by those who love and know them best. Children in foster care often struggle to deal with these traumatic events, as they struggle to adjust to new homes and families. The losses in their lives, along with the lack of permanency, can prevent these children from forming secure and healthy attachments with primary caregivers.
Dr. John DeGarmo has been a foster parent for 13 years, and he and his wife have had over 45 children come through their home. He is a speaker and trainer on many topics about the foster care system, and travels around the nation delivering passionate, dynamic, energetic and informative presentations. Dr. DeGarmo is the author of several foster care books, including the brand new book "Love and Mayhem: One Big Family's Uplifting Story of Fostering and Adoption." Dr. DeGarmo is the host of the weekly radio program "Foster Talk with Dr. John." He can be contacted at email@example.com, through his Facebook page: Dr. John DeGarmo or at his website, http://drjohndegarmofostercare.weebly.com.]]>
Using technology for health and therapy
The growth in popularity of mobile apps and smartphones is providing a revolution in a number of areas, including healthcare and occupational therapy. The app world is making communication easier and the world smaller, as well as ensuring that information is closer at hand than ever before, and there are now numerous websites, apps and downloads to assist the work of practitioners across the country.
Accessing a "pocket therapist"
While the advancements in medical technology are clear to see, including the way appointments are booked, diagnoses made and treatment administered, one subject that gets significantly less coverage is that of mental health and, more specifically, the ways in which doctors and therapists are able to reach patients. More recently, however, there has been a marked increase in the number of mobile apps and downloads that have been created with a clear focus on occupational health and mental wellbeing; improvements to the provision of services will surely follow.
The use of mobile technology in healthcare and therapy reflects changes in attitudes and illness. Many mental health issues, including stress, anxiety and depression, are often attributed to the pressures and demands of a modern lifestyle, and so it seems fitting that treatment can be accessed with a single swipe on a phone, or the click of a mouse. These new apps are a great way of reaching people from a variety of backgrounds, enabling them to find out about services, trace their own progress and access information online or on their smartphones. This makes treatment, and keeping up with practitioners, easier than ever, and may encourage those who have been too afraid to seek help before to come forward – accessing a network of mobile healthcare can be less confrontational and more convenient than their previous experiences of healthcare.
How mobile technology can help therapists
There are various apps that are regularly downloaded and used by therapists, particularly occupational therapists and those who regularly work with children and their families. These include apps such as MoodyMe, which allows a therapist's clients to track their mood, diet, exercise, sleep and medication; PTSD Coach, an app designed to support and inspire; PsychDrugs, which can help patients and therapists to decide upon the medication that is best for them; Operation Reach Out, an app designed to identify the suicidal thoughts of patients and encourage them to seek help; Tactical Breather, an app that teaches breathing as a coping mechanism; and a particularly useful tool, Wellbe, which was designed in collaboration with http://worryfreelabs.com and offers patients and their therapists guided CarePaths and care management systems. All of these are beneficial for both therapists and their clients, helping to bridge gaps in communication and hand control of treatment over to the patients themselves. This is markedly better for long-term treatment and coping strategies, and will encourage patients to look after themselves.
There are also apps that can be used specifically by those who work closely with children, tailoring help to suit the needs of younger people diagnosed with mental illness and particular physical and cognitive needs. These include Dexteria, which supports fine motor skills, iWriteWords and iDoodle Card, which can both be used to teach motor and visual concepts, and Cookie Doodle, which can encourage and develop skills through creativity. The examples given here are particularly useful for identifying and treating motor skill issues, as well as boosting confidence and communication skills in children who may suffer from anxiety and low self-assurance.
Revolutionizing mobile therapy
The world of technology is always growing and changing, leading to a constant stream of advancements in the diagnosis and treatment of a number of ailments, including those that aren't always seen. Mental health is a particular aspect of healthcare that is often left out in the cold, and many people choose to hide their symptoms from those around them. Being able to access easy and immediate treatment is often a lifeline for those who are suffering in the dark, and for the families of children who have recently been diagnosed.
The future holds a number of exciting prospects for therapists, allowing them to chart a patient's progress and monitor their treatment without the need to see them, and handing control over to the individual. This is particularly useful for those who suffer from anxiety-related illness, and the families of young children who may be worried by frequent face-to-face visits. Soon patients and therapists will have better access to medications when required, be able to access a whole host of resources that were previously unavailable and be able to submit and answer questions pertaining to personal issues. As technology grows in sophistication, the ways in which therapists and doctors can operate will become more sophisticated too.
Traditions exist in many areas of our lives, but it seems they are brought into sharper focus during the holidays. Traditions are important: They link our past to our present. They provide a sense of comfort and expectation. They help maintain connections among family members and friends. They are often met with a sense of anticipation. They can help us feel balanced and establish routine.
Families and individuals often make plans and schedule activities based on their traditions. This sense of consistency is important. However, it's important to remember that families change. Foster families welcome new youth in their homes; individuals get married or re-married; many families are blended; grandparents may move into a home with their adult children and grandchildren; extended family members or friends may either move away to a different part of the country or may move closer to home.
As families change, traditions need to change, too. New family dynamics mean different needs and obligations. New members of the household (such as foster youth, grandparents or step-children) or new members of the extended family (in-laws or family members who may have moved closer) may have traditions that they enjoy as well. It's important to incorporate these activities to ensure that they, too, feel the sense of stability and comfort that traditions help instill.
Adapting traditions does not imply "out with the old, in with the new" – but rather, it is created out of a blend of the old and the new. By merging activities and practices that are important to different members of the family, beautiful new traditions can emerge that become important to everyone's past, present and future.
I am often asked how I do it. How I am able to take care of so many children at one time; how I have time to do all I do. To be honest, my wife and I certainly cannot do it by ourselves. To be sure, during this time of Christmas and holidays, it seems even more difficult and challenging at times. To tell you the truth, we do it with help.
There is a lovely couple at my church that has a heart for children in foster care, yet are unable to be foster parents themselves. For years, they have watched my wife and me take care of dozens of children, some staying for a few days, others staying for several months or even years. This couple has been a blessing to my wife and me each Christmas, as they have taken the mantle upon themselves of being our "foster grandparents." Each Christmas season, they purchase presents for every foster child that is in our house. This has helped my wife and me ensure that our children in foster care have an extra special Christmas day, as we share both the message and joy of the meaning of this special day, as well as the joy of receiving gifts under the tree; gifts with a child's name on them. Sadly, far too many children in foster care have never had gifts to open on December 25 before coming into care.
My wife and I try to make it a day that the children never forget, and one on which that they are able to escape their pain and suffering and simply revel in being a child. Our "foster grandparents" help us accomplish this. Like our dear friends have done, others can reach out to the foster parents in their community and "adopt" a child during the holiday season, or other times of the year. This might also include helping out with school supplies at the beginning of the school year; birthdays; paying for school field trips and summer camps and other activities that are special to the child. Indeed, many foster parents simply cannot afford to provide all of the opportunities to their foster child; opportunities that help the child escape from their trauma, and opportunities to heal from their suffering. When others come together to help the child in such fashion, they are giving a blessing to the foster parents as well.
Recently, I have had the blessing and wonderful opportunity to speak to businesses, organizations and churches across the nation about how they can help children in care. During these keynote speeches of mine, I have seen people moved to tears from the stories I have shared with them about foster children. I have listened as others have told me of their inability to have children of their own, yet the call to help other children. I have even sat by those who have told me through tears about their own experiences when they were abused and abandoned as children, and wanted to help those children today who are experiencing a similar fate. On all these occasions, I have seen others looking for ways to reach out to foster children, seeking ways to protect and care for them.
For you see, not everyone is called to be a foster parent. As you know, not everyone has the skills to bring children into their home and care for those in need. To be sure, we are all given different skills and talents that allow us to help children in care. It is my hope during this Christmas and holiday season that you discover your skills and talents, and that you use these skills and talents to help children in foster care. Whether you are a foster parent, a social worker or one who simply cares for all children and want to be a stronger advocate for them, may you share your gifts with others, during this season and beyond.
Robin Moore, an 11th-grade student, was once well-acquainted with the juvenile court system, racking up fines for thefts and cyber bullying before landing himself in hot water for breaking into a coin shop with his older brother and stealing items to re-sell. But his caseworker, Tony Gold, said he has done a complete 180 since re-entering foster care in 2012.
"He's gone from breaking into houses, sleeping on people's couches and not listening to his mom to getting As, Bs and one C and being very, very cooperative and responsible and working with his treatment team," Gold said.
Gold credits Robin's foster parents, Steve and Betsy Hribick, but also commends the young man's tenacity and realization that he would have more stable, trouble-free teenage years if he surrounded himself with positive influences. The teen, who formerly had low self-esteem and failed to stick with any sport or activity, is now on his high school's football and track and field team, where he excels in the 100-yard dash and relay. His plan is to remain in foster care and continue to participate in track and field and football until he can enter college and study sports medicine.
"With some help and some structure, he's been really dedicated," Gold said. "And he's really good at it too."
So good in fact that Robin is one of only 300 students across the nation chosen to attend the 27th Annual Down Under Sports Tournaments in Australia in July 2015. He has been invited to represent the East Conference Track and Field Team, but he must raise $6,400 by June 1 to attend. He is selling team t-shirts for $20 each, and Gold is hoping to hold other fundraisers to help him raise the money.
Anyone who sponsors him will be entered into a raffle for a trip for two to Australia. Minimum donation is $20, and may be made online at www.DownUnderSports.com or by check, made out to Down Under Sports and sent to the KidsPeace foster care office at 304 Railroad St., Danville, PA 17821.
Every year aMuse makes a significant donation to a nonprofit organization that serves the Baltimore community. Past winners have included Johns Hopkins, Kennedy Krieger, Casey Cares Foundation and The Baltimore Child Abuse Center. KidsPeace Maryland has been recognized for providing outstanding service to Baltimore families.
Allison Humphries, sales and programming manager for aMuse Toys, said, "We truly appreciate your hard work and energy and would love to give back to your cause."
National Neighborhood Toy Store Day (NTSD) is this Sat., Nov. 8. As part of this outreach day, customers will be asked in-store and online to vote for the nominee of their choice. This year, in addition to the monetary donation, aMuse Toys will incorporate a community service project as part of NTSD. Goodie bags for children of various ages will be assembled on Saturday then donated to the beneficiary to use with the families served by the organization.
Please spread the word and vote for KidsPeace here!
For most people, today's lifestyle is one of constant activity. It seems so many people are overscheduled and often overextended. Two-way conversation falls quickly by the wayside in favor of texts, emails and social media posts, which may or may not receive a reply.
On some level, we have abridged our own ability to communicate effectively and in a meaningful way. So many of us are in a rush, hurrying from one activity to the next and typing a quick text as we walk from our car to the door of our next destination.
While it is undeniably a quick and simple solution to providing information to others, today's instant digital contacts inevitably lead to challenges:
First, the art of conversation has dimmed. There is a stark difference between "listening" and "hearing" that too often goes unrecognized. Hearing is the act of physically accepting and recognizing sounds and words and takes little or no effort. Listening, on the other hand, involves processing the information that is heard. It takes effort, concentration and time, and it often includes observing facial expressions, body language and tone of voice. A written or posted message is open to interpretation (or, often, misinterpretation), as facial expression and tone of voice are absent from the equation. It becomes difficult to have a meaningful conversation when active listening is not involved.
In addition, two-way communication suffers. The word "communication" has its roots in the comparative Latin word meaning "to share." Sharing implies a two-way exchange. Social media posts and mass emails often receive few or no replies and may simply end with the original post or a simple acknowledgement that the post was received or read.
Finally, when used as a primary means of contact, digital messaging can undermine relationships. A recent blog in The Washington Post referred to "digital infidelity," in which individuals use their social media posts and texts to stay in closer contact with an ex or with someone who can be seen (consciously or subconsciously) as a "backup" to one's current partner, in the event the present relationship fails. Furthermore, in a world saturated with social media, the definition of "friends" is changing: While primarily defined by Webster as "one attached to another by affection or esteem," a "friend" by social media standards is often no more than an acquaintance who is linked to and can view your social media account. Individuals may have hundreds of "friends" on their social media accounts, but it is likely that a small percentage of them are actually "attached by affection or esteem." While social media allows the user to stay in touch with individuals to whom one may otherwise lose contact, it also has the capability to erode the status and the significance of the relationship between "friends."
Despite the challenges, digital communication has numerous advantages as well. It provides quick and almost instantaneous contact with others, can increase one's safety by allowing for continual contact and provides an accurate record of the information provided over a long period of time. Digital communication helps maintain connections within the parameters of the fast pace of our daily lives. The danger lies in using it as a primary means of building and maintaining relationships.
It is important for adults to model good relationship-building skills for youth, which include active listening, two-way communication and maintaining friendships outside of social media. This can be an arduous task in today's digital world. However, the rewards significantly outweigh the challenges. Today's youth spend a great deal of time sharing information on a digital platform, and responding to them in their own digital "language" has its advantages. However, taking the time to actively listen and demonstrating to them the significance of a relationship built on solid communication and two-way conversation sends them a clear message that they are important. It allows them to experience how it feels to be made the most important person in the room when you make eye contact with them, process what they are saying and give them meaningful feedback within the structure of a conversation. It shows them how the art of conversation can improve and advance a relationship, and it models for them how to build a friendship built on affection and mutual respect. Introducing and refining these skills in their youthful years will reap a lifetime of benefits.]]>
The campaign is in conjunction with the release of Steena Holmes' moving new novel, "Stillwater Rising" and poignant prequel novella, "Before the Storm." The novel depicts a tight-knit community shattered by an elementary school shooting and their tragic yet empowering healing process, while the prequel novella details the events and day of the school shooting.
Tomorrow, Oct. 8, is SAVE Day (Stop America's Violence Everywhere), so to help end school violence and bolster the communities who have suffered at the hands of such tragedies, ALL proceeds from "Before the Storm" purchases made on Oct. 8 will go directly to KidsPeace.
Here are five ways you help us SPEAK OUT:
"Don't Worry Be Happy." Remember Bobby McFerrin's catchy song?
Worrying is a practice that many of us perfect over our lifetimes. We worry about getting sick, losing a job, keeping the house clean and what people think of us. The list goes on and on, with a lot of energy channeled into worrying about things that never happen. It is natural to worry, and worrying can actually prevent us from making some bad decisions. But there is a line, and when worrying interferes with daily life, it's time to say enough is enough.
When we worry, we are robbing ourselves of present time and actually making ourselves sick. Worrying can cause high blood pressure, headaches and loss of sleep, and can lead to bad habits such as smoking and alcohol and drug abuse. Worrying can also impact our emotional health, leading to depression, anxiety attacks and other stress-related disorders.
Why do we spend so much time worrying about what others think of us? Did you ever hear of the 18/40/60 rule? When you are 18, you worry about what everybody is thinking about you. At 40, you don't care what other people think of you (that one I like) and at 60 you realize nobody's been thinking about you at all. Most people aren't thinking about you because they are worrying about their own lives. If they are thinking about you, they are worrying what you are thinking about them.
We need to take the time to determine what we worry about and how often. There are two types of worries; productive and non-productive. A productive worry is one that you can do something about, like adhering to the April 15 deadline to file your income taxes. An unproductive worry would be dwelling on something out of your control, such as a prediction that the world is going to end. Even if this prediction were finally true, there is absolutely nothing anyone can do to prevent it.
In the most basic sense, if worrying is becoming a daily occurrence, it is time to find a way to overcome this habit.]]>
Very recently, a surprising and, for some, confusing billboard was erected in various locations in Erie County, N.Y. The billboards, placed along major routes in the Buffalo region, simply stated "you are beautiful" – in plain font, all lowercase letters, without graphics or decoration.
This uncomplicated message incited a great deal of discussion throughout print, radio, television and social media. Many wondered: (1) where it came from; (2) who had placed the billboards in such strategic locations throughout the area and (3) above all, what it meant.
The answers were easily identified: (1) The message was first created by artist Matthew Hoffman in 2002, when he printed 100 stickers and left them in various locations in Chicago. Since then, more than 1.5 million stickers have been shared on every continent in the world. He went on to collaborate with thousands of other artists to re-create the message in cities across the globe through every possible art medium. (2) The billboards placed in Erie County are a part of a public art project organized by a Buffalo-based art gallery. (3) According to the website, "It's our mission to leave the world a little better than when we found it."
Words are powerful in many ways. They can be used to encourage and support, to comfort and soothe, to provide explanation, to ask questions, to apologize, to teach… and to hurt.
When we share a message with others, we can actually see its impact. A positive message can brighten someone's day and often gives implicit permission to "pay it forward." The result is more cheer, more happiness and a greater sense of community. A negative message can be insidious, breeding cynicism and distrust.
The power of words is immeasurable, and the example we set for youth is critical. Mr. Hoffman shared a story of an eighth-grade student who received permission from her principal to place a note stating "you are beautiful" on every locker in her school. The impact this likely had on impressionable middle school-aged youth who often grapple with feelings of self-worth was, in all probability, beyond estimation.
Mr. Hoffman launched his campaign anonymously for a long time. When finally began to talk about his project publicly, he was quoted as saying, "Can you feel the landscape changing?"
Public reaction to the "you are beautiful" campaign made the answer to his question clear. Social media posts included statements such as, "Whoever put this sign next to the freeway exit is my hero," "Morning commute pick-me-up," "Makes me smile every day driving home from work," "Thank you for reminding us," "Greatness this morning" and simply, "Yes!"
We all have a choice to spread cheer or breed unhappiness. Our words have power, and with power comes great responsibility. We must be responsible to ourselves and to our communities with the words that we choose.]]>
With today's hectic lifestyle and abundant responsibilities, it can be difficult to make time for health and self-care needs. But what better time to explore some self-care strategies than at the start of what for most people is a long weekend?
The idea of self care has been around for centuries, but it really gained a popular following in the 1980s, when it was employed in households, businesses and health care facilities. It has been proven that taking care of ourselves makes us better caretakers for others, whether children, parents or patients.
Self care is about choosing behaviors that balance the effects of emotional and physical stressors in our lives. This can involve exercising, eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep or practicing relaxation techniques, anything that cultivates a healthy mind and body. Here are some ways to make time for your own well-being:
This list of self-care strategies could go on and on. The most important thing is that we take care of ourselves, do what we enjoy the most and make the best use of our time. You must make yourself a priority to attain a better state of mental and physical well-being, and self-care gives you the knowledge and tools to improve the quality of your life.]]>
Many of us go through life hearing these words over and over again … "You need to be more responsible." Sound familiar? When you were a teenager I am sure you heard, "If you were more responsible, that would not have happened." You may even hear your boss tell you that you need to be more responsible. Unfortunately we are very good at playing what we call the "blame game." We are constantly blaming others when we should be blaming ourselves.
It is easy to blame others for our irresponsible behaviors and our quality of life. We blame our parents for how we were raised, our boss for our low salary, our spouse for having no time to ourselves. Why do we do this? The answer is fear. Taking responsibility for our lives can be a scary thing. When you accept full responsibility for your life, you then need to accept not just the successes but failures as well. Maybe you had a troubled childhood, and you obviously aren't responsible for what happened at that time, however from this point on you are responsible for what you make of your life. There is no reason to take revenge out on your parents for what happened years ago. There is nothing they can do now to make the past disappear, however, you can talk about it and work on the present and the future. Don't ever let a negative past define you; let it be a lesson that strengthens you and leads you on a path to a positive, brighter future.
If we are to be 100 percent responsible for our lives then we need to look at life through a different lens. A positive outlook produces a positive outcome. If you are driving and someone cuts you off, your first response may be to get angry and start yelling and throwing your fists around. Before you do this, let's think this through. Maybe this person just found out he has cancer and may not live. Or maybe she has 1,000 things on her mind and just wasn't thinking. Or maybe there was a blind spot in the road and your car wasn't visible. Of course, maybe the other driver is just disrespectful. But whatever the case, you need to move on.
Changing our thoughts and behavior is certainly not an easy task, but if we want to see change in our lives we need to change our reactions to situations that are presented to us. Everything you experience today is the result of choices you have made in the past. If you are an alcoholic and you keep drinking, your life is not going to get any better. You have the choice to change who you are and what you want out of life. Yes, that may mean changing your friends, changing your outlook or your habits. But if you keep doing what you've always done, you're going to keep getting what you've always gotten. If you need more help around the house, your house will remain a mess until you ask for help. By taking no action and complaining, we are allowing things to happen to us rather than accepting responsibility for our lives. No one else can help you get what you want. When we complain, we are wasting time, and often voicing our displeasure to the wrong people. Rather than telling your boss that you're upset with your new work schedule, you complain to your spouse. You whine to your friends that your spouse is always on the road and your relationship is on the rocks. Complaining will get us nowhere if we don't go to the right person. We all have the responsibility to take action to make our lives better.
Our attitudes, or how we react to people or situations, determine the type of day we will have. If we wake up to a rainy day, it is easy to feel moody and tired unless we shift our attitude and look on the bright side. It could be as simple as saying, "I'd like to see some sun, but I know we need the rain" or "It doesn't matter what the weather is. I am going to have a great day." In the words of Art Linkletter, "Things turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out."
Our attitudes are shaped by our intelligence, self-esteem and mood, but the remarkable thing is that we have a choice every day regarding what we will embrace. We cannot change the past or how other people behave. Some things are inevitable, no matter how much we desire otherwise, but we can change our reactions to other people and situations to produce a positive result. Years ago I attended a seminar emphasizing how our attitude affects our life. The leader shared a story about a man who was driving his SUV on the interstate when he saw an 18-wheeler coming toward him. He was hoping the 18-wheeler would get back on the other side of the road, but unfortunately it clipped his vehicle, sending it spinning in circles before landing on its side in a ditch. When passersby stopped to help him, he looked up, smiled and waved and said, "I'm alive!" Now that's a positive attitude.
Sometimes life can seem unfair, but some of our unhappy times may be a blessing in disguise. If you lose your job, it could be the opportunity to find one you truly love. If your boyfriend/girlfriend breaks up with you, it might be the chance you needed to meet someone new. Remember that whatever you are working through now is helping you have a brighter future. Don't forget the Law of Attraction, and if it helps, think about the fact that there is always someone having a harder time. There is an old saying, "I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street I met a man who had no feet."
While we are all ultimately in control of our own attitudes, which means it is important to surround ourselves with positivity. If your friends don't improve your mood, it's time to find a new circle. Make time to do things that make you feel good about yourself. Avoid comparing yourself to others. And remember that life is not just about the journey, but the quality of the journey. Make every day the best it can be.
Photo credit: iStock/Eskemar]]>
Summer signals warmer temperatures, more sunshine and time spent at the beach or pool. For many children, it also means summer vacation and a welcome break from school. However, a break from school should not signify a subsequent break from reading. Reading is a crucial skill that can be further honed during the summer months, when children may have some extra "free" time.
Studies repeatedly demonstrate that poor reading skills lead to poor outcomes:
There are several populations who are at greater risk to struggle with literacy skills. Specifically, studies indicate that economic circumstances play a role in reading proficiency. In fact, only 16 percent of students eligible for free or reduced lunch programs (based on household income) are proficient in reading. In comparison, 42 percent of students who are not eligible for a free or reduced lunch read at proficient levels (NAEP Reading 2009). In addition, reports from all 50 states indicate that boys are less proficient readers than girls. In some states, the gap is as large as 10 percentage points (Center for Education Policy).
There are many ways to help youth become more skilled readers. The key is increasing their exposure to reading materials and opportunities to read:
By making reading more accessible and more fun for youth, caregivers and other adults can play an important role in improving children's level of reading proficiency. These acts, while seemingly small and simple, have the power to offer life-changing and life-long benefits.
Image credit: iStock photo/colematt]]>
Social Media has become part of daily routines, especially for teens. Almost all teenagers have social media accounts and 78 percent of teens have smartphones. Our world seems to revolve around social media, and most people are constantly on a phone, iPad or computer throughout the day.
Teens have created a daily routine, and most don't even realize it. They wake up and frantically look for their phones to check their text messages or see who posted what on Instagram and Facebook. Even during school hours they find a way to get on and use their social media apps. Teens would rather text or chat via social media than talking to communicate with one another.
Take a look at this infographic provided by Teen Safe that shows a typical day in the life of an app-addicted teen.
"Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" – a well-known phrase in the U.S. Declaration of Independence meaning to pursue happiness as long as it does not infringe on the rights of others. It is the freedom to live as one chooses, and simply to be happy. Isn't that what we all want?
Being happy really comes down to being content with yourself and your life. You need to decide what brings you happiness then make it happen. What makes one person happy may not bring the same joy to another. But why are some people happy and others are not? It may seem like a complex puzzle, but the answer is actually quite simplistic in that we have the power to make our lives positive. Most truly happy people are optimistic and live by the Law of Attraction, which means whatever you dwell on shapes your life. So if you fill your mind with happy thoughts, you will attract happiness.
Of course it's not practical that everyone is happy go lucky all the time. Every one of us will encounter some sort of tragedy or difficult times, even if it is only the stress of trying to accomplish all that needs to be done when there never seems to be enough time. And it is OK to feel sad or stressed because if we were happy all the time, that feeling would eventually lose its impact. As Dolly Parton said, "If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain."
Researchers have found that living a balanced life that incorporates family, friends, work, personal growth, spirituality, community and health can help you achieve happiness. Happier people have actually been known to live longer, healthier lives. Sometimes it is as simple as looking for humor in trying situations or purposefully doing something that will bring you joy. We all know the importance of exercise in that it can help prevent diseases such as high blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease, but it is also known to release endorphins that give you a feeling of euphoria.
Some people think money will buy happiness. But while it can afford you material items that might make you outwardly more comfortable, it does not impact true happiness. When lottery winners were interviewed about how their windfall affected their lives, most were no happier and many actually found themselves broke a few years later. It's the same effect we sometimes see with celebrities who have every material possession yet still struggle to be happy. It is easy to take for granted all that we have – our families, a roof over our heads or a reliable car to drive. We forget to stop and appreciate the little things. The secret to true happiness is to listen to your heart and let your head tell you how to follow your heart's path.
There is no doubt social media has its advantages. Businesses use it to promote their goods and services, share industry updates and showcase special events. Individuals rely on it to network and keep in touch with friends and relatives who live far away.
Yet while social media can be helpful in both professional and personal circles, Janene Holter, a special agent with the Pennsylvania Office of the Attorney General, also warns it can be detrimental. During a recent workshop at KidsPeace, Holter challenged attendees to take a closer look at their social media strategies, asking questions like "What are your priorities and values?" "Who are your friends?" "Who are their friends?" For people working in the behavioral or mental health field, online "friends" should never be former clients.
By now, most social media users are savvy enough to realize that information posted online remains there forever. But did you know that once content is on social media, you no longer own it? Holter shared the story of a third-grade teacher who took a vacation to the Dominican Republic and posted some photos of herself on the beach to Facebook. The owner of a gentlemen's club saw one of the pictures and used it for the company's billboard, which happened to be a few blocks away from where the teacher worked. When she requested they take it down, the owner refused because once content is online the original poster no longer owns it. The teacher lost the fight and her job.
It's even more confusing for children and teenagers, who view burgeoning friend lists as a mark of their popularity. They are also more inclined to share personal information online or trust strangers who reach out to them.
"Social media is changing the dynamics of the definition of a friend," Holter said. "Unfortunately we are seeing that students feel invincible."
And it is that false sense of security online that leads many young people into trouble. A teenager who would never get in a car with a stranger who pulled up outside her school connects with someone much older online and eventually agrees to meet in person. That was the case in "Alicia's story," one of many educational videos produced by the Pennsylvania Office of the Attorney General that share true stories. Alicia was a 13-year-old girl who lived near Pittsburgh. She befriended "Christine," 14, online, and the two began sharing intimate details of their lives. After a 13-month online friendship, "Christine" revealed herself to actually be a 38-year-old man. Alicia says she was angry and stopped talking to her for an hour or so, but she resumed the relationship because she still felt close to this person.
"He always made me feel pretty and special," Alicia recalls. "That's what every teenager wants."
To make it up to her for lying, the man told Alicia he would pick her up and take her out in her neighborhood. At 6 p.m. on New Year's Day, Alicia walked out of her parents' home – without a coat, or money or a cell phone – to meet a total stranger. From the moment she got into his car, her life was forever changed. He took her to West Virginia, where for four days he and his friends kept her in a dog cage, chained to the floor, wearing a shock collar, as they raped, beat and tortured her. It was only after the ringleader videotaped the assaults, live streamed them online and someone saw the footage and called the authorities, that she was saved.
After she was rescued, her mom recalls that she was afraid of everything. She had flashbacks, she couldn't sleep alone and she had to be homeschooled.
"You do whatever you have to do to survive, no matter how painful or disgusting or humiliating that might be," Alicia said. "These people want a piece of you … and those pieces are really hard to get back. I'm still trying to find all of mine and glue them back together … My life will never be normal. There will always be something missing."
"Unfortunately, there's a lot of Alicias out there," Holter said.
And even though Alicia's case is horrific, some are even worse. "Christina's story" tells the tale of a 13-year-old girl from Connecticut who moved in with her aunt in Pennsylvania when her parents got a divorce. Her aunt, in an effort to make her feel at home, got her a computer for her room – something Holter suggests never doing. Christina made many online friends, one of whom was a 24-year-old man whose wife was pregnant with their first child. They started meeting at the mall every Friday night, though Christina told her aunt she was meeting friends. One week, her aunt went to pick her up, and she wasn't there. Hours later, police found her body in a nearby stream. She had been strangled.
After looking at her Internet history, authorities were led to her attacker. Holter pointed out that their relationship started innocently, with the two talking and sharing information. Then, the man started promising Christina gifts or calling her "sexy." He asked her to send him suggestive pictures of herself. They met nine times before he killed her, and authorities were never certain what went precipitated her death. Even after Christina's killer was incarcerated, he continued to set up social profiles online in an attempt to get young girls to write to him.
Predators are willing to take as much time as they need to build a rapport with these children, and they are experts at mirroring the lives of their victims to create a sense of connection. Holter said a red flag for adults is if a child is closer to online friends than those in real life. She tells parents to ask their children often what they are doing online, what information they are sharing and who their friends are. Holter encourages parents to take away all electronic devices – laptops, tablets, phones – before children and teenagers go to bed at night since most online contact that could be dangerous occurs between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. She advocates that parents not only have all electronic passwords, but that they check them often to ensure their children haven't changed them. Aside from keeping parents in the loop, these passwords could be critical if a child does get into a dangerous situation because it can take days for authorities to be granted a search warrant to retrieve electronic information. Holter reminds parents it's not about invading children's privacy, but about offering protection.
"I don't care if they think you're violating their rights," she said.
Photo credit: EmiliaU/iStock
As the summer months approach, many youth will be out of school for summer break. However, learning should not cease just because another grade level comes to an end.
There are many opportunities for youth to continue to learn, whether they are enrolled in a structured educational program throughout the warm weather months. Activities that promote learning do not have to be overly structured, expensive or time-consuming. Rather, the best opportunities are often environmental or situational endeavors.
The outdoors provides an excellent opportunity to explore and learn. Nature walks give youth the opportunity to take a closer look at the beauty of the world around them. They may find vegetation that is unfamiliar to them and choose to do some follow-up Internet research to identify it. Or, they may catch sight of a bird or hear a bird call that they had not heard before. Youth with a penchant for creativity may collect a few items and create beautiful art from nature. After dark, youth can view the night sky and learn about stars, constellations and planets.
Parks provide opportunities for youth to grow socially. Children typically gravitate to playground equipment and swing sets. Often, even children who are tentative to make new friends are drawn into imaginative play as groups of their peers explore and create scenarios on playgrounds shaped like castles and pirate ships. Unplanned "play dates" emerge as children who may not otherwise spend time together find themselves embroiled in creating new, fluid story lines which change as the "characters" arrive at and leave the playground throughout the day.
Local parks also offer occasions for pick-up basketball, volleyball or baseball games. While these games are excellent opportunities for youth to hone their athletic skills, even more important lessons are learned: Teamwork, cooperation and turn-taking, which are valuable tutorials that youth can carry with them throughout their lives.
Gardening is a popular summer activity. However, not all youth have an opportunity to tend to a backyard garden. If possible, youth can offer to help a neighbor with his or her garden, volunteer to tend a garden at a local park or provide similar outdoor or landscaping assistance at a senior center. Gardens offer excellent lessons on healthy food choices, but more importantly, help children learn the importance of patience and careful cultivation in helping something grow.
Summer months don't always carry the promise of good weather. In the event that poor weather prohibits outdoor play and learning, one of the easiest and most significant activities that can encourage youth to continue to learn is reading. Local libraries open a world of opportunity at no cost. Research demonstrates that youth who are proficient at reading are more likely to graduate from school. If poor literacy skills extend into adulthood, they represent a significantly higher risk of living in poverty. Promoting literacy among children and youth is one of the most important lessons an adult can impart on a child. In fact, high frequency reading parents are six times more likely to have high frequency reading children. Therefore, it is important for youth to witness significant adults in their lives invested in reading and literacy.
While the warm weather offers a multitude of learning opportunities in the absence of a structured educational program, adults are a key part of cultivating this learning. Significant adults in the lives of youth must help expose them to these opportunities and encourage them to participate in activities that will further their learning.
Vance, 24, knows what it is like to have nowhere to call home. As a teenager, she spent six months couch-surfing, sleeping in her car and constantly worrying about where she would find her next meal. She was exhausted, stressed and bedraggled. People often asked her if she was abusing drugs. "It would have been more helpful," she said, "if someone had asked if I had eaten or slept."
Vance was fortunate to meet a mentor who found her a safe place to stay and helped her pave a new path, but not before she found herself in some scary situations. "Every night, I had to figure out where I was going to spend the night," she said, adding that couch-surfing is not really free. "I had to bend some of my own values and beliefs to stay safe."
Now, Vance is becoming a vocal advocate for other young people dealing with similar hardships, and she is immensely grateful to have the opportunity to collaborate with other young people to hopefully enact change and eliminate the stigma surrounding mental illness.
"The only person who will change my life is myself," she said. "But the support of peers who want the best for me is incredibly helpful."
ADDitude Magazine, a publication whose target audience is individuals whose lives are impacted by ADHD, recently published an article about the "long-term obsessions" of some children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Based on the comments posted by online readers, the author's perspective resonated with a number of parents of ADHD youth. By "mastering their one-track minds," parents and caregivers can harness ADHD youth's enthusiasm and guide them in using their interests as a vehicle to unlock their learning potential.
For these youth, their interests go beyond the typical "phases" that many children experience while growing up. Most children do, in fact, establish interests that are generally age-appropriate, peer-related hobbies and activities that are eventually replaced by "the next big thing." However, for the ADHD child, the interests run deep and the level of detail into which they delve is extraordinary. ADHD youth with long-term obsessions immerse themselves in the topic, learning all they can about the subject using a remarkable number of resources available to them. They are also able to pass the knowledge on to others with fluency and cognizance.
It was once thought that individuals with ADHD were unable to maintain focus on a topic. However, more recent clinical research indicates that their inability to focus is situational. In fact, it is now recognized that individuals with ADHD are more inclined to sustain focus on activities that are of strong personal interest to them. It is this proclivity to hyper-focus on topics of interest that allow the ADHD brain to absorb and retain the information it gathers related to the topic with indescribable capability.
Parents, caregivers, teachers and other adults in the lives of ADHD youth have a responsibility to help them find the interest that taps into their remarkable capacity to learn. Harnessing this interest is a key component to setting them on a path for success. Many ADHD youth struggle in school, the typical setting in which learning is "expected" to occur. However, for ADHD youth, the process of learning often occurs in a different setting or through a different conduit. The challenge for parents, caregivers and teachers is to find ways to merge school-based learning with the ADHD youth's capacity to absorb knowledge about topics of interest. This task is difficult, but not impossible, and most importantly, it is a crucial step in the growth of the ADHD youth into a successful adult. Adults close to ADHD youth often say, "I can't wait to see what he is going to be when he grows up. Our challenge, and our greatest reward, is helping him get there."]]>
February brings to mind Valentine's Day, Groundhog's Day and Presidents' Day … days on the calendar that provide us with good reminders to spread kindness, have some lighthearted fun in the midst of a cold winter or honor our nation's leaders. However, February is also a time to bring attention to a very serious subject that bears importance: The National Institute of Justice has announced that February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month – certainly not cause for celebration, but an opportunity to bring to light a growing threat to our adolescents' safety.
Although statistics vary due to differences in defining "violence," teen dating violence is shockingly prevalent: Approximately one in ten youth in grades 9-12 report being a victim of physical violence from a romantic partner within the previous 12 months (according to the Youth Risk Behavior Survey) and 20 to 30 percent of youth ages 12 to 21 in relationships reported experiencing psychological abuse in the previous 18 months (according to the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health).
The preteen and teen years are a formative era. During this time, youth have the opportunity to learn the necessary skills to develop and maintain healthy relationships. When teens can foster positive relationships during their influential adolescence, they have a greater opportunity to make compassionate and cooperative connections with their dating partners during their adult years. Exposure to violence can counteract the development of these skills and could instead initiate a pattern of relationship violence that could extend into adulthood (either as a victim or a perpetrator). Therefore, it is imperative that the cycle of teen dating violence is halted through both prevention and intervention.
There are steps that adults can take to keep adolescents safe from the perils of teen dating violence: Maintaining an awareness of teens' friends and acquaintances and where they are spending their time; keeping the lines of communication open to allow teens the opportunity to talk to a trusted adult; sharing information about TeenCentral.Net, KidsPeace's free, anonymous online counseling website for teens (which has a special section on teen dating violence); and directly offering to help if it is suspected they are in a dangerous dating situation are all crucial actions. They might save a youth from becoming involved in a violent relationship or help them to abandon an unhealthy and unsafe partner. They may even help to stop a cycle of violence and impact for future generations.]]>
If you are within a few hours of the Lehigh Valley (or looking for a reason to come for a visit), join us at our second annual 5K Family Fun Mud Run.
The fun starts at 11 a.m. on our beautiful 250-acre Orchard Hills Campus in Orefield, Pa. Mud runs are becoming increasingly popular, driving even self-avowed non-runners to compete in the mud. But ours has the distinction of being family friendly. Grab your friends, bring your kids, form a team or run or walk alone – it's impossible to truly feel alone when you're on a 3.1-mile course with hundreds of other people.
The scenic, hilly course traverses 10 obstacles, including a pit crawl, cargo net climb, tunnel crawl, slip 'n slide and a mud pit. Participants younger than 13 are welcome but must be accompanied by an adult the whole time. Youth younger than 18 can also choose to do the 1-mile run/walk in lieu of the 5K. Have young kids who want to participate in the fun too? There is a free 100-yard dash for children ages 4 to 6.
See registration fees and sign up through active.com. We're offering free registration for our 100th registrant. Not sure you want to get dirty? Sign up to volunteer or just donate to help our kids.
Like our event Facebook page to stay updated on all the muddy fun and share photos after the race.
Nothing says you care for a child than spending quality time with that child. Spending time with your foster child and focusing on him is important for his mental health. Including your foster child in family activities is essential for the well-being of your household. These might include going to the movies, park or church as a family. If your foster child is interested in joining a local sports team, like a recreational or school baseball team, than encourage the child to try out, and attend his games. Learn what hobbies your foster child enjoys, and join in with him. Invite your foster child to help you make dinner, and eat as a family together. Above all, be excited and enthusiastic about your foster child and what his interests are.
For more, contact Dr. DeGarmo at email@example.com, through his Facebook page or at his website.]]>
Being the parent of a troubled teen or adolescent may be one of the most difficult challenges you will face during your lifetime. It is crucial that your child gets the treatment needed before it is too late.
Adolescence is a very crucial time of a child's life as it is a time to prepare for adulthood. This period is difficult enough without having your child experiencing '"abnormal" behaviors. Parents often think this troublesome behavior is a phase that will cease. However, it is not worth waiting until your child transitions into adulthood since the recovery period will be more difficult. As the old adage says, "the sooner the better." Early intervention is the key to a positive outcome.
But parents may not know where to turn for help/ Residential Treatment Centers (RTCs), have been known to provide successful outcomes for children and families. They are not for every child, however in some cases these centers can be the "turning point" to a child's success and recovery.
An RTC is a facility that specializes in the treatment of a number of mental health issues. RTCs are dedicated to the complete rehabilitation of your struggling child. Placing a child in a residential setting may make parents feel guilty they are sending their child away, but sometimes removing your child from the family environment is necessary for a successful recovery. Also keep in mind that RTCs support family involvement because professionals know that family plays a large role in the success of the child's treatment and healing process. RTCs are also temporary, with the goal of having the child return home upon successful completion of the treatment program.
An RTC offers a personal atmosphere where your child is in the company of others who suffer from similar issues. Living and undergoing treatment with other youth experiencing similar difficulties provides a strong support structure, which results in better awareness, faster healing and personal growth. The children are able to share feats and defeats and encourage one another.
An important advantage of an RTC is that the environment may be less threatening and more healing than a psychiatric hospital. Children in an RTC setting often function like a family, and it allows for a much deeper connection between the child and the treatment team. An RTC provides food, clothing, individual and group therapy, therapeutic recreation and social and life skills training. The children also attend schools that meet the education requirements placed by the Board of Education so there is no danger of them falling behind in their studies.
If you are a parent of a troubled teen, perhaps an RTC is the solution to your problem. Kidspeace offers residential treatment in four states and has a proven success rate for more than 130 years. Treatment is essential as it provides the tools needed by youth in crisis to turn their lives around. As always, KidsPeace is there to give hope, help and healing to children, families and communities.
Photo credit: Lisa F. Young/iStock Photos/Thinkstock
No? How about the "World's Ugliest Woman?" Perhaps you were one of the one million people who saw her on YouTube, where that shockingly cruel label was once slapped on the young woman who suffers from a rare disease that renders her unable to gain weight.
Pause a moment before you crack a joke about how many people would not find it a problem to eat whatever they want without gaining weight.
For years, Velasquez was bullied – ostracized by peers, ridiculed by Internet strangers. One person, hiding behind his or her computer screen, even went so far as to say she should do the world a favor and kill herself. Instead, she became an author and motivational speaker who now challenges others to re-define beauty.
Velasquez's story is one of millions that prove bullying is real, and it continues to happen daily in schools and communities and on social media sites around the world. Children and teenagers are the most common victims, taunted for anything from their looks to their family structure to whether they choose to play soccer or the clarinet.
For years, www.TeenCentral.Net has been helping young people combat bullying through mentoring, education and support. If you are bullying someone else, think about how hurtful your actions can be. Would you want to be treated in a similar manner? And if you are the one dealing with the pain of being bullied, channel Velasquez's positive spirit, log onto TeenCentral.Net and remember that you, not your tormenters, have the power to define who you are.]]>
This week, the Associated Press reported that a 9-year-old boy became the youngest person to reach the summit of Argentina's Aconcagua Mountain. The summit is 22,841 feet high and is the tallest peak in the Western and Southern hemispheres. The boy set his goal, held fundraisers to both offset his costs as well as raise money for a nonprofit organization that funds research for muscular dystrophy and worked out twice daily to prepare for the climb. After receiving special permission from an Argentine judge (ordinarily, no one younger than 14 is allowed to climb the mountain), he accomplished this amazing feat alongside his father and a professional climber.
The story is inspiring in many ways – reaching a nearly 23,000 foot summit is a life-changing accomplishment for anyone, of any age; hearing of a 9 year old who puts forth efforts to raise money to benefit others is heartwarming; learning of a father who had no personal interest in making the climb but trained and completed it to help his son reach his goal is demonstrative of a parent's commitment.
The 9 year old was quoted as saying, "Any kid can really do this; all they have to do is try. And set their mind to the goal."
Every day, youth set goals for themselves. Not all of them involve physically climbing a mountain – but to an individual youth, his or her goal may feel just as lofty. Many youth face great personal challenges and work very hard toward overcoming these challenges. As caregivers, mentors and significant adults in the lives of children and adolescents, it is imperative that we foster and support the goals they set for themselves. Our support may not involve physically training to reach a summit, but it is just as important: providing advice, lending a supportive ear, giving guidance and education, allowing for falls and failures, being available to help after a stumble and celebrating the successes along the way are all vital to youth reaching their accomplishments and ambitions.
When we offer our support to youth for a goal that they set, we are giving them tacit permission to try, to fail and to succeed. We are teaching them that all of these steps – attempt, failure and success – are permissible and even desirable. Setting a goal and taking steps toward reaching a goal allows for emotional growth. What may be seen as a "small" goal to some may actually be a significant step for someone else. And therefore, any support that we provide may become an essential part of a youth's success and emotional growth.
Photo credit: [istock photo]/Thinkstock
These names represent a small percentage of teenagers and young adults who have injured and/or killed students in school shootings over the past 15 years. The attackers came from different backgrounds and families. Some were relentlessly teased or ostracized, leading to assumptions that they finally "snapped," taking their angst out on their peers or those they perceived to be responsible for their tangled emotions. Though some were found to be mentally ill, others took their own lives after the shootings, leaving added questions in the wake of tragedy.
The family of the latest victim, Claire Davis, gunned down at Arapahoe High School in Centennial, Colo., last month, is showing grace in the midst of the most horrific tragedy a parent could endure. The Denver Post shares the words of Claire's father, Michael Davis, who spoke at a memorial service this week. He said he and his wife had forgiven Karl and implored others to do the same.
"Unchecked anger and rage can lead to hatred, and unchecked hatred can lead to tragedy, blindness and a loss of humanity," Davis said. "The last thing Desiree and I would want is to perpetuate this anger and rage and hatred in connection with Claire. Claire would also not want this."
The family is turning their anguish into a call to action, with the establishment of the Arapahoe High School Community Fund in honor of Claire. The fund will support mental health care and anti-bullying initiatives, along with other school and community programs. The Davis family seems to understand the need to address the problems behind school shootings and similar tragedies. We can only hope that these programs get young people the help they need before another senseless death occurs.]]>
The New Year is a common time for all of us to reflect on the past 12 months, think about things we would like to change in our lives and find ways to make the next year even better. Resolutions are shared like proclamations:
The most common resolutions tend to center on improved health and lifestyle. But sometimes they are too vague and sound like they could apply to anyone. How will you lose the weight? What will you do to reduce your stress? What kind of job would make you feel like you are not working, but fulfilling your life's mission? If you cannot outline concrete actions that will help you live out your resolution, it may be that you have chosen a resolution that you think you need to embrace rather than one that you actually want to follow through on in 2014.
So this year, rather than resolving to shun sweets, run five miles a day and give up all vices at once, why not come up with some resolutions that might actually make a difference in how you look at life?
It does not matter so much what you resolve to do, as long as it is something that excites you, something you want to see through to the end, something that is feasible and something that improves your life or the lives of those around you. By making meaningful resolutions, it is less likely they will turn into unfulfilled promises that are forgotten by Feb. 1.
Have an innovative resolution for 2014? Share it in the comments below or on our Facebook page.
Of the five most sought-after tech gifts for teenagers this holiday season, according to consumerreports.org, three have Internet capabilities. While it's impractical in today's fast-paced world to shield your teenagers from technology, it is a good idea to set some parameters around Internet use.
Consumer Reports recommends establishing guidelines for how and when computers, tablets and smart phones may be used. Talk to your teenagers about what they are doing online, and set boundaries about what is acceptable. The Weller Health Education Center, in Easton, Pa., offers tips for staying safe online. They include encouraging teenagers to refrain from giving out their real names or meeting anyone they talk to online in person.
As a parent, you want your kids to stay safe online. Fortunately, there is a website where teenagers can talk to their peers, get answers to nagging questions and always remain completely anonymous. www.TeenCentral.Net is designed as a safe online space, where teens can read about everything from bullying to drug and alcohol use to weight issues to dating violence. There are special sections that focus entirely on foster care, military families and religion.
All questions posted to the site receive an answer within 24 hours, and even though the teenagers remain anonymous, they do have the opportunity to interact with other teenagers under the guise of their user names. So if you know a teen, encourage him or her to log on. It is a safe way to make connections and find information online. There's even a sister site for parents -- www.ParentCentral.Net -- where you can feel like you belong too.
Of course, remember that face-to-face interaction is just as important among family and friends, so carve out some screen-free times with your kids too.]]>
Perhaps one of the most difficult aspects of being a foster parent is the moment when your foster child leaves your home. As a foster parent, your home becomes a place where children come for a period of time, with the goal of being reunited with their family in the near future. Reunification is not possible for some foster children, and the birth parents' rights are terminated. As a result, these children become available for adoption, and some foster parents do indeed end up making their foster child a permanent addition to their family through adoption.
If reunification is not possible with the birth parents, many foster children instead are placed into a birth family member's home. Whatever the reason might be, reunification can be a difficult time for foster parents, as the child they have come to love leaves their home. Indeed, for many foster parents, the lack of contact with a former foster child after reunification is a time of deep sadness and
When any foster child leaves your home, no matter the level of attachment, there will be emotions when it is time to say goodbye, for both you and the child. Rest assured, many foster parents do feel grief during the removal of their foster child, as the child has come to be an important and loved member of their family. After all, the removal of a foster child from a foster home is akin to a loss, and any loss can cause grieving.
Stages of Grief
Grief can be expressed in variety of ways, as it is personal. Some will shed tears while others will hold it inside. Some will busy themselves in a task, while other will seem detached and far away. The departure of your foster child from your home can be one that is devastating to you and your family. A brief look at the stages of grief (Kubler-Ross 1969) is important in order to fully understand the feelings that may come along with the removal of your foster child from your family. These same feelings may be felt by your foster child when he is removed from his own home, and first placed in yours.
The removal of the foster child may bring feelings of shock to the foster family. After a family member has formed an emotional attachment to the family, the sudden removal may cause deep shock and uncertainty, leaving the foster family confused.
With a sudden departure, some foster parents may deny that they ever formed a relationship with their foster child, or feel any sadness towards the removal. Even though they deny these feelings, they grieve believing that they were unable to provide the help the child needed.
A foster child's removal from a foster home may bring feelings of anger and severe disappointment with the caseworker, as well as with the child welfare agency system. Foster parents may blame the system or caseworker for the placement of their foster child into an environment they feel is not productive, or even harmful, to the child.
During this stage, foster parents may experience feelings of guilt, blaming themselves with the belief that they are at fault, and try to comprehend what they did "wrong" in the removal of the foster child. Still, other foster parents may experience guilt if they were the ones asking for the removal, as they were unable to continue caring for the child.
Some foster parents will try to substitute the grief they have with helping others in need, in an attempt to justify the loss of their foster child. Others will try to substitute the loss with the placement of another foster child in their home, hoping that this new placement will help them forget about the child that just left.
There are different components to depression brought on by grief. Some foster parents will become easily irritated; others will experience a constant state of feeling tired. Others will feel as if they can no longer continue with their day to day lives, and have a difficult time with the tasks associated with family, friends, work and marriage.
After the passage of time, the grief from the loss of the foster child decreases, allowing the foster parent to accept the removal of the child, and move on. The emotional well-being of the foster parent improves, and a sense of understanding of the child's removal becomes clearer.
Dr. John DeGarmo has been a foster parent for 11 years, and he and his wife have had more than 40 children come through their home. He is a speaker and trainer on many topics about the foster care system, and travels around the nation delivering passionate, dynamic, energetic and informative presentations. Dr. DeGarmo is the author of several books, including "The Foster Parenting Manual: A Practical Guide to Creating a Loving, Safe and Stable Home," and the foster care children's book "A Different Home: A New Foster Child's Story." Dr. DeGarmo is the host of the weekly radio program Foster Talk with Dr. John, heard each Monday at 8 p.m. EST. He also writes for a number of publications and newsletters, both in the United States and overseas. He can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.com, through his Facebook page, Dr. John DeGarmo, or at his website.
By Denise Morganthall
Our basic needs for survival are water, food and the air that we breathe. But communication is a basic need for survival in a family.
Families that promote communication talk openly and often and express themselves clearly. They share their hopes, dreams, fears, joys, sorrows, experiences and needs. They take the time to talk and to listen, allowing them to understand other family members' feelings too. Communication is more than just the exchange of words between family members but also encompasses facial expressions, body language, tone and posture.
When we fail to communicate, it can create chaos in the home and be detrimental to a family's happiness. A lack of communication can cause a child to develop aggressive behaviors, as a cry for attention. It can also lead to a lack of self confidence and motivation and contribute to what many call the "generation gap."
It is important not just to talk with each other, but to communicate in a way that all people feel safe from criticism regarding their emotions. Open communication involves speaking not shouting, addressing conflict directly and speaking kindly. In short it is saying what you mean and not being mean when you say it. Here are some questions to ask yourself to ensure you are communicating in a manner consistent with Sanctuary:
Actions often speak louder than words. Smiles, hugs and just being there for your child are all part of communication. Helping a child study for a test shows you care. Spending time together doing fun activities builds strong family ties. Many families find that family meetings can improve communication because they give each family member a chance to express opinions and ideas and offer compliments or complaints.
Life brings about constant change, and families are always growing and changing along the way. Children get older and move on; adults switch jobs or retire; families move to different communities; relationships are reshaped by birth, marriage, divorce, sickness or death. Family relationships are most likely to remain healthy and strong if family members adapt to these changes and support each other through them.
A family cannot grow as a whole unless each family member has the desire to grow. Change is inevitable, but growth is optional and must come from within. It takes time, energy and motivation. It all begins with having the right attitude. When you can put a positive spin on a negative event, it helps you to realize we can all grow if we want it badly enough. But growth is not always easy. We make mistakes, get stuck and fall back on old habits. But learning from our mistakes, and letting our children learn from theirs, is how we grow.
Denise has been in the mental health profession for 15 years. She is a mother of 4 and an advocate of Sanctuary. She is a Sanctuary representative for KidsPeace and a member of the Sanctuary Institute. Denise is also a life coach and is pursuing a career in freelance writing.]]>
By Denise Morganthall
The most important influence in a child's life is his or her parents. Children will learn good and bad behavior, but it is the responsibility of the parent to be socially responsible and provide proper role modeling. The community should not have to raise your child to be socially responsible because you did not.
However there are times when schools and communities do need to band together to impart lessons of social responsibility, as a way of teaching our children to care for others. It may be by helping to feed the hungry in our community. It may be protecting the environment by recycling. It may be visiting the elderly at a nursing home. We have an obligation to one another in our community as well as in our home. If we see our brothers and sisters struggling, we have an obligation to help them in any way we can. We are not just looking out for our own personal successes but helping others with theirs. It is a great feeling knowing you can help your own brother or sister in an unselfish manner. We should not be looking to be noticed or rewarded for our good deed. We are doing it out of the kindness of our hearts, not personal success.
In order to raise a socially responsible child we need to keep a few things in mind:
In raising a socially responsible child, you are building a sense of self and purpose in your child. Healthy and proper parenting in the early years is vital for contributing to a healthy community and molding children into socially responsible adults. Keep in mind this will not happen overnight, but you will find the time it took was worth the wait.
Social learning is another piece of the puzzle. As with social responsibility, children learn through observing and imitating others, so it is important as a parent to be aware of what you are doing and saying. Research shows that aggression is a socially learned behavior. If family members act violently toward each other, there is evidence that the child will act this way. Also when your children are very young it is important that you are aware of what they are watching on TV. If young children see violent behaviors, particularly if the person is a role model, they may feel it is ok in a similarly aggressive manner.
It is important to set examples for our children to grow up to be responsible young adults, enforcing good ethics, courtesy, kindness and helpfulness. Children learn best by example, so we need to go out of our way to see that we are doing our best to teach our children that life is not just all about them but those around us. There may be times when your child is around negative influences, but it is important that we are always communicating so that when bad things happen we are there to steer them in the right direction.
Denise has been in the mental health profession for 15 years. She is a mother of 4 and an advocate of Sanctuary. She is a Sanctuary representative for KidsPeace and a member of the Sanctuary Institute. Denise is also a life coach and is pursuing a career in freelance writing.
The month of December is well known for being a hectic time of year, yet it is also a time when many people celebrate their own fortunes by "giving back" to others. Recently, a KidsPeace foster care program received an unexpected visitor: Another non-profit organization moved into the office space next door to KidsPeace just a week earlier, and one of their employees walked into KidsPeace to introduce herself and ask if there was a family that she could "adopt" for the holidays. Serendipitously, a biological mother had been reunited with her three children the previous week, and while the family is celebrating their success with great joy, their reality is that the holidays will present a significant financial challenge. Upon learning that her family was being adopted for the holidays, the mother wept and expressed great appreciation for the generosity a woman who is (and will likely remain) an anonymous stranger to her.
It is important to share stories of goodwill to youth to impress upon them the impact of the actions of individuals on others. While not everyone is able to offer such a generous donation as the provision of a holiday celebration for a single mother and her three children, even small acts of kindness can make a difference. Collections of non-perishable food items for food pantries, hats and mittens for homeless shelters, gently-used coats for children and socks for our military personnel have a significant cumulative impact on those who reap their benefits.
For youth in care, the holidays can be a particularly difficult time. Most youth in care are often the beneficiaries of giving, rather than the donors. However, they can still be involved in making a difference in the lives of others, which can increase their own feelings of self-worth and confidence. In fact, some researchers have found that giving increases endorphins, boosts positive emotions and decreases stress. Youth can get involved in giving to others by making ornaments for nursing homes, sending letters to our service men and women, making cards for others who need cheering or organizing a group of peers to clean and decorate for the holidays. Even more simply, a smile for someone new, a helping hand for someone who needs it or a thoughtful word for someone who is having a difficult day can make a significant difference to the recipients of these basic acts of kindness.
Doing something nice for someone else feels good and almost always ends with a smile. The knowledge that an individual's actions made someone's day better is empowering. Spreading cheer and goodwill can transform a community and bring about a sense of belonging. Providing something positive for someone else enhances the benefactor's dignity and reflects positively on his or her character. And knowing that he or she made a difference in the life of someone else can help a youth with a tumultuous history build relationships and begin to feel safe. One single action that does not have to cost anything but compassion and time echoes the KidsPeace Model of Care and helps improve the lives of countless individuals during the holidays and throughout the year.]]>
By Denise Morganthall
The missing link in many families today is what is known as "shared democracy" or, in other words, shared decision making.
Decision making sounds simple, but can be life altering and affect those around you. Children must cultivate good decision-making skills to become healthy, mature adults. But one survey found that 40 percent of children felt their opinions did not matter to their parents. Shared decision making is crucial for your children to feel connected. As parents we need to start when children are young to help them develop decision-making skills. Allowing our children to make choices about simple things gives them confidence in their ability to choose well.
As a family it is important to share with our children decisions that we make. For example, if we are going on a family outing we can provide options about where we can go. Do we want to go to the movies, roller skating or bowling? We often will not all choose the same thing, so we will also learn compromise. It is important to note that there will be some instances when adults need to be in charge and have the final say. However, it is up to the adults to also find appropriate times when children can be involved in decision making, allowing them to share power and control over decisions that affect them.
Below are some pointers to help in your children's decision-making process:
Empowering your children to make their own decisions at an early age can foster independence, self esteem and problem-solving skills that will be very beneficial when they are adults.
Denise has been in the mental health profession for 15 years. She is a mother of 4 and an advocate of Sanctuary. She is a Sanctuary representative for KidsPeace and a member of the Sanctuary Institute. Denise is also a life coach and is pursuing a career in freelance writing.
Like all children, your foster child wants to feel like he not only belongs to your family, but that he plays an important role in your household. If your foster child does not believe that he contributes in a meaningful way in your home, he may seek someplace else to do so. This "someplace else" may not be the place where you want your child to be associated. Thus, it is vital that you encourage good behavior in your home
Find your foster child doing something well, and notice him for it. Tell him that you appreciate what he has done, thanking him for it. This can be as simple as cleaning up a room, taking the garbage out, playing quietly in a room, completing homework, hanging up a bath towel or a number of small details that normally may go unnoticed. No matter how small the action is, it is essential to your foster child's well-being that he feels recognized and that his actions are significant.
For more, contact Dr. DeGarmo at firstname.lastname@example.com, through his Facebook page or at his website.]]>
By Denise Morganthall
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognize your emotions, understand what they are telling you and realize how they affect people around you. Emotional Intelligence involves your perception of others. When you understand how they feel, this allows you to manage relationships more effectively. Scientists and psychologists believe that we learn to be socially appropriate from our parents and other people when we are very young. The parent is the child's first and most important teacher, so parents need to role model the kind of behavior they want their children to emulate and a way of teaching and developing Emotional Intelligence.
Emotional learning helps us respond rather than react. If your teenager does something that puts you "over the edge," look at the big picture before you overreact. Try to validate your child's feelings by saying, "I was in the same situation as you when I was your age. I know how you feel and why you did what you did. However, in the future let's talk about it." You are now bonding with your child and promoting the opportunity to communicate.
Resolving conflict in healthy and constructive ways can strengthen trust between people. In any heated situation, whether with your child or spouse, it is important to always think before you act. Instead of saying something you will regret, say what you mean without being mean when you say it. Conflicts and disagreements are inevitable in all relationships, however we need the courage to address conflict rather than acting out around it. Show empathy, and consider everyone's feelings.
Here are some things you can practice to expand Emotional Intelligence in your home:
These techniques will help to provide a thriving family environment. Problems are bound to arise, but it is how you cope with them that is most important.
Part 1 – Sanctuary in the Home: Embracing the commitment of nonviolence
Denise has been in the mental health profession for 15 years. She is a mother of 4 and an advocate of Sanctuary. She is a Sanctuary representative for KidsPeace and member of the Sanctuary Institute. Denise is also a life coach and is pursuing a career in freelance writing.]]>
Now, a study released this month that was funded by the National Institute of Mental Health, is challenging that timeline. The study, published in the journal "Nature" shows that children later diagnosed with autism demonstrate a steady decline in attention to other people's eyes from 2 to 6 months old. This finding could lead to earlier detection and, therefore, more effective treatment of autism.
In this study, doctors followed a group of children from birth to age 3. Half of the group fell into a high-risk category, because they had older siblings already diagnosed with autism. Eye-tracking equipment was used to determine where the children looked when watching video clips of their moms or other caregivers. It was found that the children later diagnosed with autism had a steady decline in eye contact, focusing half as long as those children not on the spectrum.
Researchers believe that identifying signs of autism at a younger age will give medical professionals more tools to keep the children's social development more in line with that of their peers.
If you are a parent, would you be in favor of a tool that could potentially diagnose your child at an earlier age?]]>
By Denise Morganthall
The Sanctuary Model originated in Philadelphia in the early 1980s and was created by a team of clinicians working in a small inpatient adult hospital unit. Sandra Bloom led the team, tasked with devising a trauma-informed program. After 20 years of adaptation, the Sanctuary Model today reaches across the human services system, being utilized in homeless shelters, residential treatment centers, hospitals and juvenile justice facilities. KidsPeace is just one facility that has embraced Sanctuary as a model of care and organizational change that provides a safe, therapeutic environment for everyone. But can the Sanctuary Model also work for families?
Sanctuary essentially means a place where you can go and feel safe. In the medieval times, people on the run from the law could seek sanctuary in churches. We want our children to feel safe, so it just makes sense to foster that feeling first at home. Sanctuary revolves around seven commitments: nonviolence, emotional intelligence, social learning, social responsibility, shared governance, open communication and growth and change. In this segment, we will explore the commitment to nonviolence. Nonviolence means everyone must feel safe physically, emotionally, socially, and morally.
Making small changes to embrace nonviolence in your family is the first step toward making your home a true sanctuary.
Denise has been in the mental health profession for 15 years. She is a mother of 4 and an advocate of Sanctuary. She is a Sanctuary representative for KidsPeace and member of the Sanctuary Institute. Denise is also a life coach and is pursuing a career in freelance writing.]]>
In this increasingly digital age, bullying has become even more prominent, as it spills over from the playground to the online world. Cyberbullying is neither a rite of passage nor a mere aggravation that can be ignored. It has been the driving force behind multiple teen suicides and has prompted school districts to get involved and create policies even though the bullying happens off school grounds. Greater awareness of the pervasiveness of this problem has led the creation of numerous resources, including www.TeenCentral.Net's award-winning anti-bullying section, which discusses ways to prevent and overcome the negative effects of bullying.
Now, the world's largest social media site is stepping up to the plate as well. Facebook on Wednesday launched a Bullying Prevention Hub as part of its Family Safety Center. The new section, designed with the help of Yale University's Center for Emotional Intelligence, is intended to give guidance to teens, parents and educators on how to take action against online bullies. In addition to blocking content or users, teenagers have an option to share offensive posts with trusted adults, in an effort to curtail bullying. The goal, according to the site, "is to develop innovative educational approaches that empower people of all ages with the emotional intelligence skills they need to succeed."
No matter how you feel about social media, it is not going anywhere, so this is definitely a step in the right direction.]]>
Developing individualized strategic interventions to manage the everyday symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is often overwhelming for all members of a child's treatment team. As a parent of an ADHD youth and a professional in the behavioral health field, I have read and am compelled by the numerous studies hailing the benefits of medication to treat ADHD symptoms. I have witnessed, first hand, the positive impact of medication which helps youth better manage their ADHD symptoms, allowing them more opportunity to utilize the "tools" offered to them to overcome the challenges with which they are presented as ADHD youth.
The CDC affirms that the causes and risk factors for ADHD are unknown. Therefore, there is currently no "cure" for ADHD and therefore, no single remedy that, when applied, gives a child with ADHD the ability to suddenly and wholly focus, sit still, control his or her impulses and become organized. In fact, just identifying an appropriate medication is often accomplished through trial and error. On a personal level, it took several different prescriptions to find an effective medication for my son. This experience solidified, in a very personal way, what experts in the field have already noted: ADHD manifests itself in a wide variety of ways, and as such, requires very individualized treatment.
Often, this treatment is expanded to include more than medication. Concurrent treatment modalities, such as psychotherapy, behavior management and social skills development can all play roles in addressing the symptoms of ADHD in youth with this diagnosis. In addition to the medication trials, my son began seeing a therapist who specializes in working with children and youth (which was coordinated with his pediatrician), and he was tested for gluten sensitivity (at the suggestion of his school social worker). Modifications to his behavior management plan are ongoing and continual.
However, as a parent on a quest to provide my son with as many opportunities for growth as possible, my research continued. Approximately eight months after his initial diagnosis, I began to read about the potential benefits of chiropractic care for youth with ADHD. The theory behind the pursuit of chiropractic care for ADHD youth is centered around the conviction that a healthy, well-functioning spine supports brain function. One or more vertebra moving out of position may cause "communication problems" between the brain and the nerves. Adjusting the spine through chiropractic care may correct the nerve interference, clearing the message pathways for better communication between the brain and spine and the rest of the body.
Although a wide body of evidence does not yet exist exulting the benefits of chiropractic care for ADHD youth, some research reveals is a relationship between abnormalities in the spine, the nervous system and the brain. Some chiropractors also note the relationship between an increase in the clinical diagnoses of ADHD, learning disabilities and behavior disorders and a more sedentary lifestyle of youth. This theory of chiropractic medicine is based on the belief that when youth are less physically active, their spines are not given the opportunity to develop in the same manner as they are in more physically active bodies.
Several case studies have been published over the past several decades which demonstrate improvements of objective and subjective findings in children with ADHD. Furthermore, an increasing number of chiropractic neurologists are conducting additional research to demonstrate the positive impact of chiropractic care on ADHD symptoms.
Chiropractors will, quickly and rightly, explain that they do not "treat" ADHD, but rather, treat dysfunction of the spine and body. Esteemed members of the chiropractic field point out that the impact of chiropractic care on children with ADHD diagnoses have been noted with increasing frequency, but will also agree that more research in exploring this relationship is needed.
It is not being suggested that chiropractic care replace medication therapy. Instead, chiropractic care, like psychotherapy, behavior management, healthy nutrition and good sleep patterns can serve to enhance the treatment of some youth with ADHD diagnoses, further adding to their toolkit to help them learn to function successfully in society.
Once a youth's function is improved, his or her true personality, will and strengths emerge. He or she may begin to demonstrate growths in all areas of his or her development. As a professional, this is a rewarding result of a well-developed treatment plan. As a parent, there is no greater joy.]]>
When a child is suddenly taken from his home and family, and placed in a home against his will, there are bound to be issues of trust. Many children in foster care have never had adults in their lives who have not betrayed their trust. Why should they trust you? Indeed, when a child in foster care first moves into your home, he is bound to be suspicious, as he is now living in a stranger's home. One way to combat this is to create a trusting and nurturing environment. Let your foster child know as early as possible that he is welcome in your house. Keep in mind that your home is very likely the last place he wants to be. Despite all the pain, difficulties and perhaps even abuse your foster child may have faced in his own home before coming to live with you, you are still not his family. He probably will want to be with his own family, and will resist opening up to you. Try to be as warm, compassionate and understanding as you possibly can. Your efforts will be recognized by your foster child, even if he does not show it.
Along with this, you will want to let your foster child know that your house is a safe one. Not only do you want to let your foster child know this when he joins your family, it is just as important to remind him of this often. Treat him like a member of your family. You want to show your foster child that you value him as a person. What he says, what he thinks, what he believes -- your foster child needs to realize that all of these are important. For some children, this might be a new experience, as they have never been shown value before.
Trust can also be built by showing your foster child that you care for him. Building a trusting relationship means showing your foster child that you are concerned for his well being, physically, emotionally and mentally. Showing compassion for your foster child is an important part of building a healthy relationship, as he needs to know and feel that you care for him. After all, close relationships between children and adults are central to avoiding further risky behavior.
You may find that your foster child will try to test your trust, your love and your dedication to him. He may lash out verbally, throw temper tantrums or lie to you. On the other hand, he might also withdraw, refuse to talk or not engage in the family in a positive way. After the "honeymoon" period has elapsed, he may try determine how far you trust him, and how much a part of your family he is. When this happens, remain consistent in your values, rules and consequences. Indeed, this also helps to build trust, as he will see that you will not waver in your rules and consequences or your love for him.
Trust does take time, and for some foster children, it may take a very long time. Remember, you are planting seeds that you may never see come to fruition.
Dr. John DeGarmo has been a foster parent for 11 years, and he and his wife have had more than 40 children come through their home. He is a speaker and trainer on many topics about the foster care system, and travels around the nation delivering passionate, dynamic, energetic and informative presentations. Dr. DeGarmo is the author of "Fostering Love: One Foster Parent's Story," and the new training book "The Foster Parenting Manual: A Practical Guide to Creating a Loving, Safe and Stable Home." He also writes for a number of publications and newsletters, both in the United States and overseas. Dr. DeGarmo can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.com, through his Facebook page, Dr. John DeGarmo, or at his website.]]>
Anger is not always a bad thing. It provides us with the opportunity to express negative feelings, show others a problem exists and find solutions. However, if anger is not managed properly it can be detrimental, intensifying to the point of physical and verbal violence. If not controlled, it can lead to problems in all areas of life.
Teens today are faced with a myriad of emotional issues that can ignite anger. Add to that the stress of a changing relationship between teens and parents as the teens test their independence. Teenagers need to learn ways to express anger in productive, less harmful ways. Here are some starting points:
Anger is a normal emotion that everyone can experience at times, but it is easy for it to get the best of us. Parents should model how they would like their teens to act, keeping in mind that they can't yell at their sons and daughters to stop yelling. Providing teachable moments will allow teenagers to learn appropriate anger management skills before they are out in the world on their own.
And remember, if you encounter a problem you can't solve on your own, there is help. Log onto ParentCentral.Net or TeenCentral.Net to work it out and get advice from peers and trained professionals.]]>
Inez Donley is a familiar name in the Lehigh Valley region of Pennsylvania and beyond. Her lifelong philanthropic efforts touched many organizations, from the Allentown Public Library to the American Red Cross to Cedar Crest College. But today, she was honored for her unflagging dedication to KidsPeace and the children we serve.
Donley, who died in January at the age of 97, was recognized today for her powerful impact on our organization with the unveiling of a memorial in her honor. In a fitting move, the plaque now hangs in the Donley Therapeutic Education Center, a central hub on the Orchard Hills Campus made possible through a $1 million donation from Inez and her husband, Ed Donley. The Donleys donated more than $1.47 million to KidsPeace during Inez's life, and the Donley Foundation recently gave another $25,000 to continue the efforts close to Inez's heart.
In addition to her financial contributions, Inez served as a board member for 15 years and remained an honorary member until her death. Members of her family, along with numerous community members and local politicians, attended today's memorial unveiling.
KidsPeace has proclaimed that Aug. 6, which was Inez's birthday, will will be recognized annually as Inez Donley Day, and will be a day to encourage all associates to volunteer within the community.
If you would like to make a contribution to KidsPeace in Inez Donley's memory, please visit our donation page or call Patrick Slattery at 800-25-PEACE, ext. 8326.
Depression is the most common mental health problem in the U.S. Children under stress; who experience loss or who have learning, conduct, or anxiety disorders are at a higher risk for depression. Depression also tends to run in families.
But how do you know if your child is suffering from depression? Below are a few signs you need to take seriously:
These are just a few signs, however if you notice any of these there is a good chance your child or teenager may be suffering from depression. As with any mental illness, early intervention is critical. It is worth noting that during the teen years you will see behavior changes, and they do not all indicate depression. So how do we know if it is time to seek medical attention? When the mood lingers for a long time – weeks or months and limits the child's ability to function normally, it can be diagnosed as depression.
As parents, we obviously want our children to be healthy and happy. Don't wait if you suspect a problem; seek medical attention immediately. Depression can be successfully treated in 80 percent of the cases. But if it goes untreated, it can be deadly as it is a major risk factor for suicide. It also may help to log onto www.ParentCentral.Net or direct your child to www.TeenCentral.Net to hear from other people battling similar circumstances.]]>
Avoiding peer pressure may sound simple enough, but for many it is not. The teen years can take a toll on teens and their family. Teens are dealing with many pressures in life; just figuring out who they are is enough in itself. It is important as parents that we help our teenagers develop the self confidence to withstand peer pressure, and make their own decisions.
Teens like to do what their friends are doing so they can feel accepted. However, this does not always lead to healthy physical or emotional outcomes. The best way for a teen to avoid being the only one saying no to peer pressure is to choose friends with similar values who will back them up when they don't want to do something.
If teens find themselves struggling to avoid peer pressure, they should not be afraid to seek help in the form of a parent, teacher, counselor or www.TeenCentral.Net, a free, online, anonymous counseling site. The site, which focuses on everything from bullying to drug and alcohol use to dating violence, even has special sections dedicated to children in foster care, those whose parents are in the military or those looking to explore religion and faith.]]>
As there are differences in foster care services throughout the United States, it comes as no surprise then that there are also vast and wide differences in the way nations around the world implement their foster care services and agencies. In truth, the term "foster care" is one that has tremendous differences in various areas of the world. In many industrialized nations, foster care is commonly referred to a temporary placement, made by a state child welfare agency, with a family. For many third world and developing nations, the term "foster care" is one that refers to something that is quite different than the system established in industrialized nations. In many developing nations across the globe, poor economic situations leave little financial assistance for government assistance. Lack of available health care, adoption organizations and governmental aid for families and children are the reality.
Throughout much of Africa, the practice of placing underprivileged children into other homes is an old tradition, and not an uncommon one. As educational opportunities increase in many African nations, children are also being "fostered out" to other families, families that are closer large cities where schools are more readily available. The poor economic environment in Africa has severely affected the fostering system. The high costs of installing an effective foster care system prohibit many African countries from developing it.
For the millions of orphan children in Asian countries, the foster care system offers little hope. Fortunately, many children whose parents have died find outside parental care with extended family members, in a form of kinship living arrangement, a type of family preservation service. For some Asian nations, this is the only option that is supported by the government. As a result, millions of children who have no living extended family members find themselves without a home. More often than not, Asian governments are quick to place children into orphanages, which are overcrowded and understaffed, with children living in poor conditions.
Japan's foster care system is one that is seldom used. For those children who fall outside the cultural traditions of the nation, it is often difficult for them to find a home that is welcoming. Japan's culture is one that is resistant to foster children. Another struggle that foster children face in Japan is the lack of aftercare provisions. For those children who have aged out of the foster care system, they have little to no support, and often are completely on their own.
European countries are generally considered to have the most advanced foster care systems available. However, there are distinct differences across the continent. In the Scandinavian nations, the system is perhaps the most efficient and advanced. The governments of these nations are very involved in the promotion of foster care, and provide sufficient funds, staff and training. Western European nations have seen a reduction of government involvement in foster care, though it is still a highly developed child welfare system. Central and Eastern European nations has the weakest foster care system and the fewest amount of foster homes on the continent, but the greatest need.
Efforts are under way to bring about social change in a global foster care system. Organizations, such as the International Foster Care Organization (IFCO), are working hard to bring about a more unified way to support foster children around the world. Yet, there is much work to be done, as the foster care system is one that is drastically uneven in all four corners of the globe. All children, regardless of where they are born, have the right to a loving home, a supportive family and a stable environment. An improved global foster care system will help to make that dream a reality for millions of children.
Dr. John DeGarmo has been a foster parent for 11 years, and he and his wife have had more than 40 children come through their home. He is a speaker and trainer on many topics about the foster care system, and travels around the nation delivering passionate, dynamic, energetic and informative presentations. Dr. DeGarmo is the author of "Fostering Love: One Foster Parent's Story," and the new training book "The Foster Parenting Manual: A Practical Guide to Creating a Loving, Safe and Stable Home." He also writes for a number of publications and newsletters, both in the United States and overseas. Dr. DeGarmo can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.com, through his Facebook page, Dr. John DeGarmo, or at http://drjohndegarmofostercare.weebly.com.
In 1990, Congress established the first week of October as Mental Illness Awareness Week. As the years have gone by, we are getting much better in doing this on an ongoing basis, but we still have room for improvement. Those who struggle with mental illness still find it difficult to be open about it because of the stigma that still exists. But we need to ignore what everyone else is thinking and take care of ourselves. We need to remember that mental illness not only affects the lives of the sufferers but the lives of everyone around them.
It is very easy in today's society to feel overwhelmed. Some of us are better than others at handling everyday frustrations. But it is important to seek help if necessary. KidsPeace recognizes the need for mental health awareness and treatment every day of the year, but October is a good opportunity for a reminder. Let's provide hope, help, and healing to our entire community. Once you choose hope, anything is possible.]]>
What happened to my happy, carefree child? Children should have no worries; that is what we would like to believe. However, children and young adults can suffer from stress just like adults. Actually they have a tougher time than adults because they have fewer experiences in dealing with stress and do not know how to handle it.
What can cause stress in children? Stress can be caused by what is happening at home – family arguments, divorce or illness. If your children hear you talking about these matters, it may be overwhelming for them. TV can cause stress if they are watching news about war, terrorism or natural disasters. Also as your children age, academic and social pressures can create stress.
What are some signs and symptoms of stress in children? It is not always easy to recognize when your child is stressed, however you may notice mood swings, changes in sleep patterns, headaches, stomachaches and even acting out behaviors. What is most important is that we as parents are available to help our children deal with these stressors. They may not want to talk, but just being there for them is important. Spend quality time with them; ask how their day was at school. They will know that you care and sometimes are more apt to share information when asked. When they are ready to talk, you can work together to come up with some solutions to the problem. Maybe spending more time together is the key, adding or eliminating after-school activities or getting involved in an exercise program. Also proper rest and good nutrition are important for a child's mental health and wellbeing.
When kids won't talk and their symptoms of stress concern you, you may need to consult a professional for help. Remind your children that stress is normal. Let your children know it is OK to feel lonely, scared or angry. But you also want to let them know that it is OK to seek additional help from a friend, teacher or counselor. The most important thing is that the child knows you care. For additional information on this and other topics, log onto www.ParentCentral.Net.]]>
A family can be defined in many ways. Traditionally, it is a group of people made up of partners, parents, children, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and pets. Today people are taking a more expansive view of what a family is. To many, a family may be defined as the people we love and/or the foundation of society. However you choose to define family, we can probably all agree that family values play a significant role in a family's success.
Family values are the pieces holding a family together and helping each family member work toward a common goal. Without family values, a family may falter or fail. Common values in a family include love, trust, communication, spirituality and religion and traditions. Family values influence the decisions we make within our family and outside of it.
Parenting is not an easy task, and with all the influences we encounter daily, it can be a very overwhelming experience. Knowing what you believe in as a parent and what you want for your children will help them be responsible adults. But we must ask ourselves whether we have lost track of our family values. Are we slacking as parents? Are we too busy to get to our daughter's choir recital or our son's basketball game? Are we responsible for the lack of family values or are we blaming society for this loss?
I have to believe society certainly has played a part, however we all have choices in life and the choices we make have an impact on how our family life looks. We can't let society influence how we raise our children. Sometimes things that would initially appear to have a negative impact on family, such as a weak economy, can actually be blessings in disguise. A dinner out becomes a relaxing meal at home, where family can enjoy conversation and togetherness. Sometimes a little hardship can create more togetherness and a special focus on family time. Most of us would give our own lives to save a family member, yet we take family for granted on a daily basis. So think about it: what does family mean to you? And how can we all change the way society affects our family values and gives us time to enjoy each other's company?
Children do not get the sleep they did years ago. With our hectic lifestyles today it is so easy to forget the importance of sleep and what time little Johnny got to bed. Between working longer hours, after-school activities and late dinners, it is very easy to get caught up in this vicious cycle known as "sleep deprivation."
Sleep deprivation is serious in that it can shave years off your life and wreak havoc on your child's growth and development. Children who lack the required amount of sleep suffer a wide array of problems, from having trouble paying attention in school to behavioral problems such as hyperactivity to just being grumpy.
Researchers have also found that children who lack sleep are at a higher risk for childhood obesity. It has been found that a child who sleeps one hour less than needed increases his risk of obesity by 80 percent. But how much sleep does your child need? School-aged children and pre-teens do best with 10 to 12 hours of sleep, whereas adolescents and teens do best on eight to nine hours.
How can I help my child get a good night's sleep?
All of these factors contribute to a child receiving a good night's sleep. Sleep is a child's brainpower; let's get all the zzzz's we need!
[David De Lossy]/[Digital Vision]/Thinkstock]]>
Foster children typically perform poorly in school for a variety of reasons. Multiple displacements from home to home often results in foster children becoming dissatisfied with school, and quickly losing interest. Transcripts and school records are often missing or incomplete when a student enrolls into a new school, many times resulting in the children not being enrolled in classes designed to best help them, nor getting the resources they need to succeed. Along with this, many times, teachers and administrators are not aware that the student is a foster child, nor aware of the many emotional difficulties and traumas that foster children face, in general.
For a foster child to succeed in school, the foster parents need to act as advocates for the child. Everything about a new school, from the teachers, students, hallways, classrooms, cafeteria, and all that happens inside the walls of the building, will be a reminder to the student that he is in foster care, and not his own school, nor his own home. Foster parents can help this time of transition and displacement, as they help their foster child adjust to a new home and new school.
Often times when a foster child is enrolled into a new school, a period of time may elapse before the new school gets the transcripts from the previous school. This may result in the child being placed in the wrong classrooms and courses, or classes that the child is simply not equipped to succeed in. Foster parents need to ensure that all transcripts, grades and school records are sent to the new school as soon as possible. Foster parents can best aid their child by calling the previous school and having them sent over to the new school.
At the outset, foster parents should meet with the child's teachers, school counselor and administrators upon enrollment of the child. During this meeting, foster parents need to begin building a strong foster parent-school partnership. If possible, the foster parent should inform these school employees of the child's status as a foster parent, and, if permissible by the caseworker, share some of the reasons why the child is in care. This information may go a long way in helping school employees understand the foster child's background. Foster parents can also suggest that teachers set reasonable homework tasks during the first few weeks and months of the child's placement.
Communication is vital in order for a foster parent and school partnership to work effectively. Foster parents must work more diligently at two-way communication between school and community via newsletters, phone calls, emails and a school website. Foster parents need to also embrace the newest technology in such communication modes as blogs, SKYPE and other virtual media that favor meaningful parental involvement. Also, foster parents can attend school functions, student activities and parent nights and find ways to volunteer within the school.
Visitations with birth parents and biological family members can often be stressful emotionally for a foster child. Indeed, foster parents may find that they are "starting over again" with the child. This can very well carry over into school the day after the visit, or even the day of, as the child becomes anxious about the visit. Foster parents can help by informing teachers about any upcoming visits beforehand, as well as letting those involved know what transpires in a visitation setting, the possible outcomes afterward and how to best respond to them. This simple step of informing teachers and school administrators before-hand, can go a long way in helping all to understand the child's behavior, as well as helping to diffuse any problems that may occur.
Foster children do indeed have a tremendous amount of challenges awaiting them as they move to a new home and to a new school. By setting up weekly contact, establishing homework strategies and creating a working relationship with teachers and school administrators, foster parents will be able to help their foster child be successful both in academics and behavior in school, in home and, later on, in society, as well.
Dr. John DeGarmo has been a foster parent for 11 years, and he and his wife have had over 40 children come through their home. He is a speaker and trainer on many topics about the foster care system, and travels around the nation delivering passionate, dynamic, energetic and informative presentations. Dr. DeGarmo is the author of "Fostering Love: One Foster Parent's Story," and the new book "The Foster Parenting Manual: A Practical Guide to Creating a Loving, Safe and Stable Home." He also writes for a number of publications and newsletters, both in the United States and overseas. Dr. DeGarmo can be contacted at email@example.com, through his Facebook page, Dr. John DeGarmo, or at his website, www.drejohndegarmo.com.]]>
National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month aims to increase awareness of mental illness, treatment and research in diverse communities. KidsPeace supports this cause, hoping to see improved access to mental health treatment and services for all.
It is reported that minorities are many times underrepresented in mental health research, often receive a poorer quality of mental health care, have less access to and availability of services and are less likely to receive diagnosis and treatment for their mental illness.
Other facts to consider are that 20 percent of African Americans are more likely to report having serious psychological distress than non-Hispanic whites. The death rate from suicide for African American men was almost six times that for African American women. Suicide attempts for Hispanic girls (grades 9 -12) were 20 percent higher than for Caucasian girls in the same age group. Adolescent Indian/Alaska natives have death rates at twice the rate for whites in the same age group.
Mental illness does not discriminate against race, gender or age; however minorities seem to get lost in the system. There are many factors that have been found to contribute to this, such as cultural stigma, language barriers and resource limitations. Let's all work together to prevent this from continuing to happen by creating awareness. We are all in this together; let's show our support and hope to see some positive changes in the future!]]>
When a foster parent shares the nurturing of a foster child alongside the birth parents and caseworker, reunification tends to happen at a quicker and more successful rate. Co-parenting sees you, as a foster parent, working alongside the biological parents of the child living under your roof, and with your family. This may be the more difficult part of your job. To begin with, these may be the people who abused or neglected your foster child. Helping them might just be the last thing you wish to do. Therefore, it is important that you do not prejudge them before you meet them. What is important to consider, though, is that many biological parents of foster children were abused themselves, and know of no other way when raising children. Also disturbing is that some birth parents were foster children, as well, and are just repeating the cycle they went through as a child. Certainly, there are reasons why their children are in care that we may never understand. What is best for your foster child, though, is that you work alongside your caseworker, as well as the birth parents, and try to determine what is best for your foster child's future, as well as how to best meet his needs in the present.
For birth parents and family members, you might be the best example of what a good parent is. Everything you do as a foster parent will send signals to the biological parents on how a parent should act, as well as how to treat their own children. When your foster child meets with his birth parents for visitations, he should be well dressed, clean, healthy and looking his best. As a foster parent, part of your mission is to support reunification with your foster child and his biological parents. Do your best to encourage reunification between the child and his parents. Find ways you can help the biological parents with their parenting skills. Discuss ways and ideas on how you can help them as they attempt to meet the requirements of reunification.
Your foster child's family members will want to know what kind of family their child is living with, what his home life will be like, if he is being taken care of and many other concerns. After all, their child has been taken away from them, against their wishes, and placed in a strange home. They will have many concerns, and may not be as courteous to you as you might like. Be prepared for them to be hostile, rude, angry or even distant. Remember, they are hurting, and have been through a traumatic experience with the removal of their child. Respectfully encourage them to ask you as many questions as they would like. It is important that you answer their questions as honestly and as openly as possible, treating them with the utmost integrity, kindness and politeness.
Your foster child's biological parents and family members will know him better than anyone, and your meeting with them will offer you the opportunity to learn a great deal about him, as well as acquire important information you might need. When you ask questions about their child, you are showing the birth parents that you are interested in him and his well being. By indicating, with your questions, that his parents are the experts, you will begin to form an important relationship, one that will benefit all involved. A list of questions prepared beforehand will help you gather the information you need.
As a foster parent, it is important to remember that your foster child's biological parents are people in need, and they deserve your kindness and sympathy, not your anger. By working with them, and by showing them kindness and compassion, you will not only help them, you will teach your foster child an important lesson in love and humanity.
Dr. John DeGarmo has been a foster parent for 11 years, and he and his wife have had more than 40 children come through their home. He is a speaker and trainer on many topics about the foster care system, and travels around the nation delivering passionate, dynamic, energetic and informative presentations. Dr. DeGarmo is the author of "Fostering Love: One Foster Parent's Story," and the new book "The Foster Parenting Manual: A Practical Guide to Creating a Loving, Safe and Stable Home." He also writes for a number of publications and newsletters, both in the United States and overseas. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.com, through his Facebook page, Dr. John DeGarmo, or at his website, www.drejohndegarmo.com.]]>
With mental health issues becoming more common among young children today, we need to explore all avenues to reverse this trend. The answer might lie in something quite simple – play.
Play is essential in children's development and overall health. Play helps children develop cognitively and socially. Unfortunately, children do not get to play as we did years ago. Today, as a society, we work longer and harder, making it more difficult to find the time and energy to play with our children. But we need to make time. Play promotes good mental health, which allows children to develop what it takes to thrive in an ever-changing world and grow into well- adjusted healthy adults.
There are many types of play: creative, make believe, quiet, cooperative and active. Active play is essential in children's overall health, as it can release extra energy, tension and anxiety. It will also tire children out so they sleep better, which is also essential to their overall health. Active play can involve riding a bike, swimming or swinging at the playground.
Cooperative play is playing with other children, which teaches sharing, taking turns and obeying rules. Board games are an example of cooperative play, and aside from being fun, they teach children skills and knowledge they will need throughout life.
Mental health professionals have noted that play is as important to human happiness and well-being as work and love. Parents obviously want what is best for their children, so if you want your child to be healthy and whole, perhaps you should start with play.]]>
With Father's Day approaching it is a great time to brag about our dads.
Researchers have found that the effects of a father's love on the development of a child are often understudied and underestimated. Many experts now believe that fathers can be just as nurturing and sensitive with their babies as mothers. It has been found that a child without a father's presence is at a greater risk for behavior problems, depression, delinquency and substance abuse. The love of a father plays a more significant role than that of the mother (don't tell mom). It has been argued whether a dual-parent household produces better offspring than a single-parent household, but new studies are focusing on fatherhood as a "cornerstone" of child development.
The importance of having a father in a child's life should never force a mother to include a father who is not healthy for the child, however. Children need fathers to love them, take interest in them, set boundaries and put the children's needs first. A father figure also may be a non-traditional father, such as an uncle or grandfather.
Father figures can have a lasting impact on children. As our society continues to become more dangerous, a father's role is even more important. The presence of a father's love may help boost a child's sense of well-being and improve emotional and physical health. The father also helps the mother succeed in raising a well-adjusted child, in turn making the mother a happier and more effective parent too. Let's all wish our dads a "Happy Father's Day" as we remember what an important role our fathers have in raising happy, healthy children into happy, healthy adults!]]>
Workplace bullying, which can have a negative impact on individuals and companies, is unfortunately common. Workplace bullying is when one person or a group of people in a workplace singles out another person in an unreasonable, embarrassing or intimidating way. Usually a bully is a person in a position of authority who feels threatened by the victim, but in some cases the bully is a co-worker who is insecure or immature. Workplace bullying can involve shouting or swearing at an employee, practical jokes, inappropriate remarks or actions that embarrass the employee or one employee being singled out for unjustified blame or criticism.
According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, up to one third of workers may be victims of workplace bullying. About 20 percent of workplace bullying turns into harassment. The New York Times found that 60 percent of workplace bullies are men who tend to bully both male and female employees. Studies show that females have been more likely to bully other females. This may be because there is more pressure on females trying to succeed in male-dominated workplace roles or competition for promotions.
The stress of workplace bullying can lead to absenteeism, low productivity, lowered self-esteem, high blood pressure, PTSD and trouble with relationships outside of work. Workplace bullying is bad for business as well, resulting in high turnover, lost innovations and difficulty hiring quality employees as word spreads that the company has a hostile work environment. Employees who are or have been victims of workplace bullying should realize it is not their fault and seek help.]]>
The majority of children with mental health issues have a learning disability that requires special education and/or special instruction in a classroom setting.
Special education allows schools to meet the unique needs of students with disabilities through specially designed individual or group instruction. Many special education settings are segregated from mainstream students.
Many parents struggle with their children being labeled under special education. For this reason, many parents refuse to accept the fact that their child has a learning disability and in turn refuse to put their child in special education courses, even though they know their child would benefit from it. It is sad to think we still struggle with this stigma in 2013. The first step is for school systems to have a zero tolerance policy for children who make fun of and/or disrespect their classmates who are "different."
Some of the children who have learning disabilities are fortunate in that they are able to remain in the general classroom setting with the assistance of a teacher's aide. This concept is known as "inclusion." These children have the opportunity to learn alongside children of both average and exceptional abilities; however, there is controversy over that as well. There does appear to be less "labeling" under this umbrella of teaching. However, this does not always meet the needs of the children.
Many children who receive special education support in their early years eventually mainstream in their middle and high school years. Mainstreaming attempts to move students from special education classrooms to regular classrooms only in situations where they are able to keep up with their other classmates without specially designed instruction.
We need the help and support of the parents, teachers, administrators and students to end the stigma. We need to expose special education children to the other students so they can see they really aren't that much different, except that they learn at a slower rate. And even if they are different that's OK too. What a boring world it would be if we were all the same.]]>
Are you trying to lose weight or even fit into your summer clothes from last year? Have you felt tired lately and don't know why? Are your children spending too much time in front of the TV and/or computer?
If you have answered yes to these questions, now is the time to get up and get moving! May is National Fitness Month, and you can make a change in your life starting today. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Park your car far away from store entrances. Go for a walk once a day with your children, ride a bike, play Frisbee or even go fishing. Just making these small changes will play a large role in not only your physical well-being, but your mental health as well.
Research has shown that physical inactivity can lead to premature death, chronic disease and disability. Proper and adequate amounts of exercise boost brain activity affecting everything from the way we think to how we feel to what we do. Exercise can improve memory, not only in adults but in children as well. It makes it easier for kids to learn and boosts the brain's capacity for knowledge. Exercise increases strength, flexibility and endurance. Research and statistics tell us that 20 percent of people have symptoms of mental impairment. By 2020, mental illness will be the highest cause of death and disability in the world. If those statistics are not enough to get you moving, I don't know what is.
Don't have time to go to the gym? Well you are not alone...no one does. But there are plenty of things you can do at home for exercise. Be creative in making exercise fun. Get your kids involved in sports, dance or even running with a dog, if you have one. If not, volunteer to walk the dogs at the local SPCA.
We can all use this month to raise awareness about the benefits of physical activity – both at home and work. Make a difference and spread the word about fun ways to get moving!]]>
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
~ Mahatma Gandhi
This first full week of May is a time to honor two groups of professionals who embody service above self – nurses and teachers.
This year, for National Nurses Week, the American Nurses Association has chosen the theme "Delivering Quality and Innovation in Patient Care." At KidsPeace, our nurses blend science and compassion every day, putting in long hours to make life a little easier for the children and adolescents in our care. And through tackling both the ordinary and extraordinary situations that arise each day, they have the chance to make a permanent impression not just on their patients, but also the families of those they serve. We are immensely grateful for the passion they bring to their vocation.
National Nurses Week began Monday and runs through May 12, which was the birthday of Florence Nightingale, who is considered the founder of modern nursing. Whether nurses are working directly with patients, educating those who are in the trenches or conducting research, their purpose is always to ease others' burdens and provide high-quality, patient-driven care.
In addition to honoring nurses, May 6-10 is Teacher Appreciation Week. I'm sure everyone can recall at least one special teacher who went above and beyond to make learning enjoyable. Good teachers help their students by showcasing their strengths, teaching new skills and encouraging them to dream bigger for their future. At KidsPeace, our teachers work hard every day to ensure out students receive a well-rounded education. It's never too late to thank a teacher for setting you on the right path. If you are a parent, you are probably even more aware of the crucial role teachers play. So take a moment this week to say thank you, volunteer in a classroom or nominate a teacher for an award.
Do you have a special way to honor a nurse or teacher in your life? Share it with us on Facebook or Twitter.]]>
One out of five children suffer from some sort of mental health problem. Children's mental health problems include ADHD, Autism, bipolar, depression and schizophrenia. May 5-11 is children's mental health awareness week.
As a parent, how do we know our child is suffering from a mental illness? Some red flag behaviors can be change in appetite, trouble sleeping, dropping grades, showing less interest in sports and taking unnecessary risks. Some behaviors may seem to parents like children are just going through a phase or "being a teenager." Some parents are hesitant to get treatment because of the stigma attached to mental illness or they do not want to believe it is happening to them. However early intervention is critical to successful treatment.
Today mental illness is so prevalent that we are better at understanding what causes it and in turn being able to provide successful treatment. This week is dedicated to raising awareness about mental health and lending a hand to those who are struggling. Shame and stigma too often leave people feeling like there is no place to turn. We need to make sure they know that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.]]>
When you were a student, you may recall having had a peer mentor. This was someone you could look up to and turn to when you needed advice or were unsure of something. Maybe you had the opportunity to be a mentor for someone else as well. Peer mentors are becoming increasingly common in the mental health field and have been known to provide mental health patients with a successful recovery.
Peer mentors are a supplemental service to the primary care a patient receives. Here are some advantages a peer mentor can offer:
We all need encouragement at some point during our lives. Who better to give it than those who have been through it before, know how tough it can be and have a proven track record of overcoming difficulties and moving forward with their lives?]]>
By Denise Morganthall
Hyperactive children can wreak havoc on your nerves…however, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Yes, dealing with a hyperactive child can be very challenging, but it can also be rewarding when you see the positive results from all your hard work, dedication and love given to the child.
Hyperactive children cannot sit for a long period of time. They are always on the go and often find themselves in trouble at school, home and with their friends. Some children are hyperactive by nature; others may be that way because of their environment. Many children who are hyperactive also exhibit signs of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and struggle with paying attention for long stretches of time. So how do we deal with these children? Here are some techniques to try:
If your child exhibits unmanageable hyperactivity, you should see a doctor and have the child undergo appropriate testing to make a proper diagnosis for his behavior. Some children are given medication to control their behaviors. There are many resources available to help you and the child.]]>
By Kristen Fritz
Your first love, your first kiss and your first relationship are all memorable things that you can look back and reminisce and giggle about with friends. But how easy is it to talk about with our children? Thanks to changes in technology and popular social media sites, dating today is a whole different ball game.
To make sure your children are following the right path and making good choices, sit down and talk with them and follow the tips below to ensure an easier conversation.
Take it seriously.
"These are their first relationships, and so they fall hard," said Rosalind Wiseman, an educator and author of Queen Bees and Wannabes. It's important not to dismiss your child's relationships just because he or she is a teenager. What your child learns now will set the stage for healthy relationships in the future.
Use the media.
Talking to your child about celebrity relationships like Rihanna and Chris Brown can be great teachable moments, according to Dr. Jeff Gardere, assistant professor at Touro College of Osteopathic Medicine in Manhattan and creator of the Healthy Divorce app. TV shows, movies and YouTube videos can all be used as a sounding board to talk about what healthy and unhealthy relationship look like – without it turning into another lecture.
Set the rules together.
Although you already know what the rules will be about dating, curfews, parties and driving, it's important to negotiate them together. So if your teen wants a 10 p.m. curfew, start at 8:30 p.m. and slowly increase the time when your child proves he or she can take on more responsibility.
Teach appropriate social media behavior.
So how can you make sure your kid isn't sexting his or her latest crush? You can't, according to Wiseman. So aside from confiscating cell phones, talk with your kid about what your family's values are when it comes to technology in the hopes that he or she will make the right decision.
Lead by example.
Experts agree that the way you and your spouse treat each other strongly influences your kid's relationship choices and how they will treat significant others in the future.
Face the truth.
The biggest obstacle parents have when dealing with dating is admitting that their child could be in a messy situation—as a target, victim, bystander or perpetrator, Wiseman said. Acknowledging this reality will allow you to keep the lines of conversation open and prepare your kid to respect and be respected.
Earth Day is a globally celebrated holiday that is intended to raise public awareness about a variety of environmental issues such as air and water pollution, climate change and habitat destruction. In the U.S. Earth Day has inspired the Clean Air Act, Clean Water Act, Environmental Species Act and the establishment of the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).
We need to commit to protect our environment so we can all have clean air to breathe, clean water to drink and a neighborhood safe from toxins. By making small changes, such as using less water and electricity, cutting down on pollution from commuting, reusing and recycling and picking up trash, we can have a big impact on our environment and our lives.
What does Earth Day mean to you? For me, it means preserving the earth for the next generation. It is a time to plant trees, recycle and be green! Find ways that you can help keep the planet clean and help protect our environment. Happy Earth Day!]]>
April is the time to raise awareness about child abuse and neglect. Advocates throughout the U.S. work hard to promote awareness and are the lifelines for victims of abuse and unstable families.
Child abuse is the physical, sexual or emotional mistreatment or neglect of a child. This abuse may be committed by a parent, caretaker or anyone who is responsible for the child's welfare. We as a community need to be aware of the signs of child abuse. If a child reports abuse to you, always take it seriously. If you suspect a child is being abused or neglected, you need to report it to either the local child protective services or law enforcement.
Keeping our children safe is only something we can do together, with the help of friends, neighbors and the community. As President Obama said, "All of us bear a responsibility to look after them, whether by lifting children toward their full potential or lending a hand to a family in need."
While April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, we need to protect our children year round. Our mission at KidsPeace is to give hope, help and healing to children, families and communities facing crisis. Our trauma-informed care is meant to bring out the best in children who have been through the worst. Protecting children and keeping them safe is our first priority. Make it yours!]]>
Not only does winter bring snow and cold weather, but it also brings depression, mood swings and mental disorders. A new study was done that looked at and observed the search patterns of Google inquiries. Apparently, winter is a time where mental illnesses tend to increase. Who would have thought? We look forward to the summer not only for the sunshine, warmth, and the beach, but to bring positive thoughts and feelings.
The study appears in the May issue of The American Journal of Preventive Medicine. In both the United States and Australia, researchers found distinct seasonal patterns, high in winter and low in summer, in searches pertaining to anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, depression, suicide, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and schizophrenia.
Searches related to eating disorders varied the most — 37 percent higher in winter than summer in the United States and 42 percent higher in Australia. The smallest variations were in searches related to anxiety: 7 percent and 15 percent more common in winter than summer in the United States and Australia, respectively. The variations persisted after the researchers controlled for seasonal differences in Internet use, mentions of the diseases in news articles and other factors.
Such things as varying hours of daylight, variations in physical activity and seasonal changes in blood levels of vitamin D and omega-3 fatty acids are known to affect the mood of a person.
I think I can speak for everyone when I say, bring on the summer time!]]>
Spring has arrived: flowers are blooming, birds are chirping and warmer weather is on its way (or at least we hope so…). Now is the perfect time to become proactive and begin to think about your physical health and fitness. Not only is exercise good for the body, it's also good for the mind. Participating in exercise can help reduce stress as well as improve overall mental health benefits. So what better way to start than by hitting the gym or pavement, getting some fresh air outdoors and being on your way to a better and healthier you?
The following can benefit mental health, relationships and lead to a healthier and happier life overall.
Reduce stress. Take a walk or head to the gym for a quick workout. One of the most common mental benefits of exercise is stress relief. Exercise also increases concentrations of norepinephrine, a chemical that can moderate the brain's response to stress.
Mental, emotional and behavioral health is a critical component of a child's well-being. Almost one in five young children have one or more mental health disorders, and one in 10 has mental health problems that are severe enough to impair functioning at home, school or in the community. The good news is that children with behavioral health conditions and trauma histories can and do recover. Success in helping to improve their health requires family involvement.
Family involvement is essential to accelerate recovery. We tend to manage stressors better when we are not alone. There is a wealth of data supporting the importance of human connections for healing and the recovery from trauma or any mental health condition. As a health care professional, I know there is a clear connection between mind and body. The family is the key to the child's success.
But sometimes it can be difficult for parents to be a part of the child's treatment when they in fact are dealing with mental health issues themselves. They struggle to manage their parenting roles.
Being supported by an agency or health care facility that takes a whole family approach to supporting the child, their parents and other family members is essential. At times the parents may need special help to deal with their child. The clinician/mental health professional will work with the parents and child to help everyone develop new skills, attitudes and ways of relating to each other. Parents can take part in parent skills training. This helps parents learn how to deal with difficult situations and behaviors. Support groups can also help family members connect with each other. They know they are not alone, which is important since parents need this support as much as the child.
KidsPeace supports family involvement as evidenced in our wide array of services, programs and testimonials. As a parent you will be involved in your child's treatment from start to finish, through treatment team meetings, therapeutic home visits and family counseling to make sure you and your child are on the same page and ready to live in harmony after his/her return home.]]>
We've all seen the 'Stop Texting' magnets stuck to the back of vehicles, and it puts things into perspective when you look at the statistics. In 2011, 3,331 people were killed in crashes involving distracted drivers; in 2010, it was 3,267, according to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC).
It has become more common than ever to see drivers texting while driving. But it's no longer just teens; adults play a huge role as well. According to a new survey done by AT&T, 49 percent of adults surveyed said they text and drive even though 98 percent of adult drivers surveyd said they know that distracted driving isn't safe. But the popular trend is on the uprise as six out of 10 drivers said they never texted behind the wheel just three years ago, said AT&T.
While the survey showed adults were more likely to engage in the bad habit, 43 percent of teens also said they were sending messages while behind the wheel. One of the most common reasons why teens text and drive is rather simple: most text-message users, the survey said, expect a reply within five minutes or less.
AT&T found that not having a parental rule against texting and driving is among the greatest predictors that a teen will send messages while driving. Other factors included whether a teen had a full- or part-time job, owned a smartphone or usually sent more than 100 text messages per day.
Find more information on distracted drivers or request a "Stop Texting" magnet from Lehigh Valley Health Network.]]>
Iyona Anderson knew one thing going into Tuesday's Say Yes to the Prom event at Discovery Communications – there was no way she was going to select a ball gown. The feisty 17-year-old had dubbed her style anti-princess and was on the hunt for a sleeker look.
Fast forward a couple of hours, and Anderson beamed as she twirled in a blue creation of sparkles and tulle that would do Cinderella proud. She gushed that she was never taking it off as she hurried off to find matching shoes and accessories.
"She definitely said yes to that dress," said Monte Durham, host of "Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta."
Durham had traveled to Silver Spring, Md., home of Discovery Communications' headquarters, to be a part of the special day that gave 40 local high school girls a chance to select prom attire from a donated collection. The pre-prom event was modeled after the popular TLC show "Say Yes to the Dress." Anderson was one of five KidsPeace foster teens from Maryland and Washington D.C. chosen to be part of the second annual event. Accompanying Anderson for the day of glamour were Christina Washington, 18, Annie Stitt-Johnson, 18, Sade' Padilla, 16, and Aunica Shebex, 18.
Each girl was paired with a Discovery employee who served as mentor for the day. More than 800 dresses were donated for the event, and Discovery Communications staff transformed part of their headquarters into prom central. Dresses were displayed on garment racks, and an entire room was turned into a beauty salon. In addition to choosing their perfect dresses, the teenagers got to pick shoes, jewelry and handbags, all of which are theirs to keep. Seamstresses were on site to perform alterations, and the young ladies were treated to hair styling, makeup application and manicures.
Durham provided style tips and instructed the girls on how to carry themselves. He talked about "building the look beyond the dress," and told the group that "accessories make or break the outfit." He told them fit is the most important element when choosing clothing, and said standing in third position, with the heel of one foot positioned near the arch of the other, will help them have good posture. The young ladies took his advice to heart, heads held high as they ended the day with a red carpet runway walk to show off their looks. They chose a variety of styles, but every one of them eagerly said yes to the dress.
Watch newscasts about the event from CBS WUSA9 and Fox 5. Learn more about the event on Twitter under #SYTTP.
KidsPeace Photo | GINA SEYFRIED
From left: Aunica Shabex, Sade' Padilla, Annie Stitt-Johnson,Christina Washington and Iyona Anderson
Kids are curious about their health and how their bodies work; especially when they get to their teen years. The Internet has become a way of life when it comes to searching for information, but search engines may not always populate the most accurate information. So how can parents be sure that their children are accessing the right resources in regards to their health and wellbeing? Well, now there are various kid-friendly health websites that children can go to for reliable and helpful information that parents can feel confident about.
Some of these sites can even be accessed on the Kids Peace website, a great resource for kids and parents to use.
This site provides a wealth of information for kids and adults. Kids can find what it means to hiccup or what it means to be "big boned," while there is a section that explains adult health problems such as Alzheimer's and heart disease. In the teen section, you will find more mature material, such as information on relationships, drugs and sexual health. Just so parents can trust the information their kids are reading, all information is created by health professionals and underwritten by the Nemours Foundation.
Go Ask Alice!
This website is geared more toward teens and college-aged students. Go Ask Alice answers users' health-related questions. There are more than 1,000 questions on file that fall into these categories: Alcohol & Other Drugs, Emotional Health, General Health, Nutrition & Physical Activity, and Relationships and Sexual & Reproductive Health. You can submit your own question if you can't find one that already exists. Each week, a panel of health professionals answers new questions, and answers in the database are periodically reviewed and updated. The site also contains quizzes and polls and is written and produced by Columbia University.
BAM! Body and Mind
Need to know how to deal with a bully? Ever wonder what fungus and bacteria may be lurking in the locker room? Well, this fun site is a perfect place for teens to explore health, fitness and social questions that includes an A-Z index at the top of the site. Articles and quizzes are written by professionals at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
CDC Kids' Quest
The CDC's Kids' Quest site offers basic facts on mental health conditions, such as ADHD, Autism and Tourette Syndrome, and physical health concerns, such as vision and hearing loss. It also includes quizzes that help kids sort fact from fiction and suggested books and bios of famous people who had these health challenges. This website was also created by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.]]>
According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) nearly 1.7 million people suffer a traumatic brain injury (TBI) each year.
TBI results from an external force such as a blow or jolt to the head. The severity can range from mild, such as a concussion, to severe, involving an extended period of unconsciousness or amnesia. Brain injuries should be identified and treated as quickly as possible. Most people with TBI recover quickly and fully. But for some people symptoms can last for days, weeks or longer and in severe cases can lead to coma and even death. It takes time for the brain to heal, which is why repeated injuries, such as in domestic violence cases, are particularly dangerous.
Males are about 1.5 times as likely as females to sustain a TBI, and the two age groups at highest risk for TBI are 0-4 year olds and 15 to 19 year olds. One example of a traumatic brain injury that could affect the younger set is Shaken Baby Syndrome.
While KidsPeace does not specialize in this type of treatment, we are aware that TBI is a critical health concern and recognize that it is critical for those who are injured to be seen by a healthcare professional immediately. And as with many conditions, family involvement can be an essential component to recovery.]]>
Perhaps one of the most difficult aspects of being a foster parent is the moment when your foster child leaves your home. When any foster child leaves your home, no matter the level of attachment, there will be emotions when it is time to say goodbye, for both you and the child. There are indeed several reasons why a foster child might be removed from your home. Whether the reason is reunification, adoption or the placement into another home, the transition will be a much easier one with a few simple steps by the foster parent.
How your foster child is told that he is leaving can be a difficult conversation. You and the caseworker need to decide how best to inform the child. Whoever should be the one to tell your foster child needs to do so in a way that is marked with care, sincerity, kindness, and honesty. If he is excited about returning to his home and his parents, celebrate this with him. Perhaps have a going away party, and celebrate his time with you. If he is concerned and full of anxiety about moving to another foster home, an adoptive one or even about moving back to his own home, speak to him in positive terms, keeping a positive attitude with him. Remind him that he is an important person and that you care for him and want the best for him.
Try to find out as much information about the situation as you can. If possible, acquire the phone number of the family he is moving to from your caseworker and call them ahead of time, introducing yourself to them. Allow your foster child to speak with them, getting to know them a little before the move. If permissible, arrange for a visit with the family, along with the caseworker, allowing all sides the opportunity to meet face to face.
Make sure you pack everything he owns, including everything he came with to your home. Include as many group photographs of him with your family as possible. Place some self-addressed, stamped envelopes in his suitcase so that he can write to you from his new home. Add some stationary, pencils and pens, so that he has everything he needs to write to you. Also, include contact information for him, such as your address, phone numbers and email address.
To help him in this time of transition, it is important to reach out and contact him. Call him on the phone and allow him to tell you all about his new home and new family. Write letters to him and send pictures of your family and family events to him from time to time. Remember birthdays and other important events in his life, including holidays and school events and send cards. If you live nearby, let him know when you can attend school functions and extra-curricular activities or programs of his.
Saying goodbye is never easy for anyone, and may be especially difficult for you and your foster child. With the right preparation, this time of transition can be a little bit easier for all involved.
Dr. John DeGarmo has been a foster parent for 11 years, and he and his wife have had more than 30 children come through their home. He is a speaker and trainer on many topics about the foster care system, and travels around the nation delivering passionate, dynamic, energetic and informative presentations. Dr. DeGarmo is the author of the highly inspirational and bestselling book "Fostering Love: One Foster Parent's Story," and the upcoming book "The Foster Parenting Manual: A Practical Guide to Creating a Loving, Safe and Stable Home." He also writes for a number of publications and newsletters, both in the United States, and overseas. Dr. DeGarmo can be contacted at email@example.com, through his Facebook page or at his website.
They say a mother's love is irreplaceable and undeniably pure, but being told that you are unable to have children can be heartbreaking and create emptiness. You want to fill a desire that cannot be met. Fortunately, for a Santa Rosa Beach, Fla., couple, their wish came true.
After adopting their first child; Ethan, Kristin and Will Banker hosted a boys' choir from Kenya through their church. They fell in love with them, and their "eyes were opened" to the bleak outlook for the large number of orphans in the area, the couple states in a Northwest Florida Daily News article. They found 7-month old Tariku through their adoption agency and read his story and browsed through his photos. The moment the Bankers saw Tariku, they knew he was their son.
Kenya does not have an international adoption program, but Ethiopia does for 5 million children without families, Will said. Kristin felt a calling to adopt, and with time Will did as well.
"When God tells you to do something, you just do it," Kristin said.
A new policy in Ethiopia requires prospective adoptive parents to make two trips. The extra cost and time required for travel seemed too much for them. They started to switch their paperwork to a domestic adoption, but after experiencing a multitude of "signs," Kristin was convinced she was meant to adopt an Ethiopian child.
After regretfully turning down a little girl, they came across Tariku and instantly fell in love. International adoption in Ethiopia must be approved by local courts with the prospective parents present. After 13 long months, their adoption finally passed and they were able to go get their child.
They finally made it back home in early January. Their new life as a family of four has been an adjustment for everyone, but they're settling into a new kind of normal. Their adoption journey was long and full of ups and downs, but the Bankers said they would do it all over again.]]>
I have recently conducted several training webinars regarding foster care, and they are now available at my website. These webinars are free, and you are welcome to share them however you see fit. They include:
You can find them under the Speaking and Training heading on my website.
Dr. John DeGarmo has been a foster parent for 11 years now, and he and his wife have had over 30 children come through their home. He is a speaker and trainer on many topics about the foster care system, and travels around the nation delivering passionate, dynamic, energetic and informative presentations. Dr. DeGarmo is the author of the highly inspirational and bestselling book "Fostering Love: One Foster Parent's Story," and the upcoming book "The Foster Parenting Manual: A Practical Guide to Creating a Loving, Safe and Stable Home." He also writes for a number of publications and newsletters, both here in the United States, and overseas. Dr. DeGarmo can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.com, through his Facebook page, or at his website.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
Most of us have heard this popular phrase and many have probably used it at some point. Used as a common defense mechanism, does it actually hold true to its meaning? According to a recent study, the answer is no.
Results of a bullying study showed that victims of bullying at school, including bullies themselves, are not only more likely to experience psychiatric problems in their childhood, but can have lingering issues into their adulthood as well. To date, this has been the most comprehensive effort to establish the long-term consequences of childhood bullying, according to experts.
The study followed 1,420 subjects from Western North Carolina who were assessed four to six times between the ages of 9 and 16. Researchers asked both the children and their primary caregivers if they had been bullied or had bullied others in the three months before each assessment. Participants were divided into four groups: bullies, victims, bullies who also were victims and children who were not exposed to bullying at all.
Participants were then assessed again in their adulthood and researchers found that victims of bullying in childhood were 4.3 times more likely to have an anxiety disorder as adults, compared to those with no history of bullying or being bullied.
Bullies who were also victims were particularly troubled: they were 14.5 times more likely to develop panic disorder as adults, compared to those who did not experience bullying, and 4.8 times more likely to experience depression. Men who were both bullies and victims were 18.5 times more likely to have had suicidal thoughts in adulthood, compared to the participants who had not been bullied or were perpetrators. Their female counterparts were 26.7 times more likely to have developed agoraphobia, compared to children not exposed to bullying.
In the news article, William E. Copeland, lead author of the study and an associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Duke University Medical Center says, "Bullying is not a harmless rite of passage, but inflicts lasting psychiatric damage on a par with certain family dysfunctions. The pattern we are seeing is similar to patterns we see when a child is abused or maltreated or treated very harshly within the family setting."
If you know someone who needs help with bullying, check out the Anti-Bullying sections on TeenCentral.Net and ParentCentral.Net.
Most people will agree that customer service is one of the most important parts of a company's overall strategy to conducting business since without customers there is no business. If this is the case, why is it that so many of us can easily cite examples of poor customer service in our daily lives?
Most companies like to think they have good customer service. However, if steps are not taken to ensure this is true, reality is often far from their perception. In today's world, competition is tougher than ever. If you can't provide services when somebody wants them, there is always someone else who will. You rarely get a second chance when you drop the ball.
At KidsPeace, our commitment to great customer service goes hand-in-hand with our Mission, Vision and Values. Do you know what they are? While the welfare of the client is always first, the revenue we generate helps us provide for the clients and helps pay staff and cover our organization's bills. Great customer service builds a customer base that enables us to properly take care of the children we serve and our staff.
Customer service is part of the foundation of our business success. KidsPeace constantly strives for positive customer relations to maintain the integrity of our organization. We view ourselves as the Ambassadors of KidsPeace and realize that without our customers, we would not be here.]]>
Adults participate in yoga to help reduce stress and to improve flexibility and posture. Now kids are using yoga as more than just a means of physical exercise, but as more of a lifestyle change.
While experiencing a dark time in her life, a local woman in Chicago works to help boost her children's and other children's confidence and ability to resist violence. Students at Nash Elementary School on the city's West Side are learning the principles and techniques of yoga through a program called Keeping the Peace, which is funded by the Illinois Violence Prevention Authority and aimed at students who have a parent who is incarcerated, according to an ABC news article. Meghan Olson started the program as a way to give back from her experience.
"My father was incarcerated in Puerto Rico. Our family had such support around us. I had always been involved with children on the West Side of Chicago and I saw the need there," Olson says in the article. "I see children who are shut down, mislabeled. I see children who are angry."
Students say the camaraderie of like-minded children and understanding adults offers invaluable support and help manage their emotions.
"I feel safer here and people can comfort you like when you feel sad and stuff. Like it was this one time when I was kind of sad then when I came in here everybody gathered around me and gave me a hug," seventh-grader Sania Franklin says in the article.
The program also helps keep them focused by following a different path.
"I feel that I should try to stray myself from doing anything wrong with an illegal intent and keep myself away from the gangs completely," eighth-grader Tyrone Fullilove, Jr., says.
Participants in Keeping the Peace also have access to individual mentoring and family counseling sessions in the evening.
As workplaces become more diverse the need to communicate properly becomes critical. Good communication between managers and employees, customers and employees and employees and clients is essential to operating a successful business. But though communication is recognized as key to a successful work environment, companies often struggle with poor communication. These are some deterrents to effective communication:
1. Lack of leadership: Employees look to their leaders for direction. If managers lack leadership skills, it can stunt the growth of a company.
2. Unclear goals and duties: Before an employee begins work each day, he should have a proper understanding of what is expected in his role.
3. Under-trained employees: An untrained employee will cost the company more money in the long run when they leave to pursue a career with more options. The more a new employee knows about the organization, and how his role affects the overall success of the company, the better the employee is able to communicate with leaders and colleagues.
Employees are more motivated when they have the opportunity to provide feedback about day-to-day operations, share ideas or get involved in decision making. When employees become disengaged from the company, they lose sight of their goals and are less likely to become invested in the company's success. Low employee morale is usually what causes an employee to feel this way and further inhibits good communication.
Another consideration is how we communicate, often relying on phone conversations or e-mail, which can be impersonal and lead to misunderstandings. Face-to-face communication is a better choice and allows for an exchange of ideas.]]>
Life is what is happening to you right now, not what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow. And the last thing you want to do is miss it.
Did you rush of to work this morning without really taking the time to taste that cup of coffee?
Did you rush through washing the dishes and miss what was going on in the yard right outside your kitchen window?
Taking the time to realize what you are doing, when you are doing it, is a key facet of slowing down and living a simpler life. But even more important is just taking the time to BE, at least once a day – taking it all in, enjoying the quiet, watching the clouds or enjoying a cup of your favorite tea while resting your body. Start enjoying the simple things in life.]]>
A Residential Treatment Facility specializes in the treatment of chemical dependency; alcoholism; or psychological problems such as bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety disorders, personality issues, PTSD and self-injury. Eating disorders, sexual problems, violence and other behavioral issues may also be addressed in these facilities.
KidsPeace offers residential treatment in Pennsylvania, Maine and Georgia as well as at Mesabi Academy, a juvenile justice facility in Minnesota. There are a variety of specializations within RTFs, but overall they have the advantage of providing an environment that may be less threatening, and more healing, than a psychiatric hospital. In addition to counseling, clients receive education and experience therapeutic recreation to put them on a path to healing.
Clients and clinicians often function like a family, allowing for a much deeper connection. Residential Treatment Facilities also offer a personal atmosphere where the client is in the company of others who suffer from similar issues. This provides a strong support structure, which results in better awareness and more rapid healing and personal growth. This makes clients more likely to return to their families and continue on a successful path.]]>
Scientists are interested in what children are thinking, but pinpointing their thoughts isn't exactly an easy thing to do.
Instead, a recent study in PLOS Biology was conducted in the hope it would help depict how the brain process works and reacts in educational settings. "Sesame Street" was used as a way to test what happens on a neurological level during a popular TV program specifically aimed at learning by comparing the brains of adults and children.
"We're kind of honing in on what brain regions are important for real-world mathematics learning in children," said lead study author Jessica Cantlon, assistant professor of brain and cognitive sciences at the University of Rochester.
Participants included 27 normally developing children, ages 4 to 10, and 20 adults between the ages of 18 and 25. Each participant took part in one or more of the three components to the study. Researchers focused on what happens in the brain during mathematical lessons by using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to measure the neural activity in participants.
Part of the experiment had children and adults watch the same 20-minute montage of clips from "Sesame Street," and the fMRI scanner measured their brain activity for the duration of the video. In a different task, participants had to determine whether the stimuli they were shown, such as faces and numbers, were the same. Some clips were related to counting, while others were about colors, animals and other non-math topics. The children were given standardized IQ tests after the scanning.
The results showed that adult-like brain responses tended to show up in kids who demonstrated higher math and verbal knowledge levels. A brain region called the interparietal sulcus appeared to be linked to mathematics, as activity in that area tended to increase during math-related "Sesame Street" segments. However, the researchers do not have enough evidence to know if these neural patterns are the cause or effect of learning.
January was a great month for children in foster care with KidsPeace in Indianapolis.
Fraternal twins Kinsey and Kelsey Mix, who are 7 months old, were born three months premature and had to face many adversities in their first days of life. Both children endured hernia surgery before they were released from the hospital, spent some time in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) and were fed via G-tube for several months. But now they are developing and growing quite well.
Kinsey is now feeding by bottle only, and Kelsey's therapists are hopeful that she will pass her next feeding study and be able to feed via bottle as well. Both girls are able to flip from their backs to their stomachs and are smiling and giggling often. Foster parents Anna and JohnAllen Schmitt have been amazing in attending to the girls' demanding appointment schedule and undergoing hours of training necessary for the girls to have a shot at a normal infancy.
KidsPeace Indianapolis would like to give a shout out to this family for their hard work and the excitement associated with the deveopmental advancements the girls have made since they entered the Schmitt's care. We are proud to have individuals like JohnAllen and Anna as a part of our foster care system and hope that they inspire other parents in the Indianapolis community to consider fostering children.
Fifteen years is a long time to reflect on, but as I settle in my chair and try to recall who, what and where I was 15 years ago, I come face to face with my 18-year-old self. I was halfway through her freshman year of college and fumbling to find my voice. I was the quiet observer taking in the stories of my peers while struggling to put words to my own. During that time in my life, I was so afraid of my own voice that I became good at listening to the voices of others and believing that because they were more vocal their stories had more value.
I watched as my peers explored their sexuality, experimented with alcohol and other substances and rebelled against those things (whatever those things were back then) they felt held them back. I watched as my female friends and I battled with images of self-worth, self-love and self-respect. I watched as my male friends categorized the females they encountered based on criteria two which the average 18-year-old female is rarely privy.
During that time and the year prior I encountered stories so vastly different than mine but all requiring a listener just the same. There were questions that I, as an 18-year-old, could not answer. Who at 18 knows what to tell a friend questioning his or her sexuality? Who at 18 knows how to talk openly and honestly about reproductive health? At 18, do you truly understand that the friend always drinking or getting high is really crying out for help? Do you understand that the highs and lows that a person is feeling may be signs of something far more than just being a teenager?
At 18, where do you go with all of this information? Where do you send those seeking answers? For me, I tried to be the best listener possible and to pay attention to when a listening ear would not be enough.
I think TeenCentral.Net is that resource for all youth, whether the quiet observer or the storyteller. It is where a teenager can go to learn more about the issues affecting their age group and know the information is safe and current. It is where that teenager tired of watching others get bullied can go to learn more about ways she can stand up for her peers. Or where she can go to regain confidence about her decision not to drink or experiment with drugs. It is where a teenager can go to learn more about what she cares about and figure out ways to make those things matter to others.
It is that thing I wish I had known about way back when. It is that tool that I hope every young person is aware of now. Happy 15th anniversary TeenCentral.Net!]]>
The mid-winter blues are common at the time of year. We all gather indoors, breathe dry furnace air and daylight is scarce. The February blahs can bring about mood swings, depression, sleep deprivation, lethargy and a number of other ailments.
To add to the February blues is what we would least expect – Valentine's Day. I thought that was all about love, togetherness, candy and cards, but this is not always the case. Valentine's Day can bring severe feelings of loneliness, disconnection and inadequacy, along with pressure to have a significant other. It's a day that triggers some questioning about relationships and whether they are for real.
Just remember, Valentine's Day can be fun without a significant other. Have fun with it – send funny cards to friends or children and buy yourself a gift. If you do experience any of these common feelings, know that you are not alone.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, as spring is on the way. Let's think "February RENEWS" instead of focusing on the "February blues." We'll get through this together.]]>
Back in September, a survey was conducted on the state of drug use among U.S. teens and adults that suggested drugs are still a big problem for many Americans. For the annual survey, researchers from the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) polled 70,000 people ages 12 and older, asking them about drugs they may or may not have taken within the month. The survey, which looked at data from 2011, provides a look at current substance abuse around the country, according to its authors.
The survey found a 14 percent decline in prescription drug use for non-medical purposes among people 18 to 25, which reflects 300,000 fewer young adults abusing such drugs compared with last year's survey. Prescription abuse rates among children 12 to 17 and adults older than 26 remained unchanged.
About 8.7 percent of Americans 12 and older were identified as current drug users -- similar to last year's 8.9 percent rate -- for a total of 22.5 million American drug users.
"Behind each of these statistics are individuals, families and communities suffering from the consequences of abuse and addiction," SAMHSA Administrator Pamela S. Hyde, says in a press release. "We must continue to promote robust prevention, treatment and recovery programs throughout our country."
According to the Mayo Clinic, there are ways to prevent teen drug abuse. Common risk factors can include: a mental or behavioral health condition, such as depression, anxiety or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD); early aggressive or impulsive behavior; a history of traumatic events, such as experiencing a car accident or being a victim of abuse; or low self-esteem or poor social coping skills. They suggest talking to your teens about reasons not to abuse drugs, ways to resist peer pressure, and even be ready to discuss your own drug use.
Don't be afraid that talking about drug abuse will plant ideas in your teen's head. Conversations about drugs won't tempt your teen to try drugs. Instead, talking about drug abuse lets your teen know your views and understand what you expect of him or her. Other great resources are TeenCentral.Net and ParentCentral.Net, free online counseling forums where you can get advice and read stories from other people dealing with the same circumstances.
Thanks to the generosity of our Maryland Board of Associates co-chairs and their respective companies, KidsPeace has been entered into the PressBox Super Bowl Charity Pool for the chance to win $3,500 per quarter.
Check out the chart to find our numbers. We have five blocks and can win multiple quarters!
Thank you to Elizabeth Liechty and Charter Financial and Jacqueline Edwards and Marriott Waterfront in Baltimore. We're so grateful for your ongoing support of our organization.]]>
The autism walk is scheduled for 8:30 a.m. April 20 at Dorney Park. KidsPeace has had a team every year since Autism Speaks began its Lehigh Valley Chapter six years ago.
Anyone can sign up to join our team. Stay tuned for fundraisers throughout the spring to meet our team goal of $1,000. All money raised is used to support programs and research for Autism Speaks.
Register online today.]]>
By Dr. John DeGarmo
The departure of a foster child from your home is often a difficult time. Because this can be a time of great difficulty and one of emotional upheaval, it is important to prepare beforehand when it comes to the transition of your foster child from your home into another. From the very first day you bring a foster child into your home, it is critical to remember that he will very likely not be with you forever. There will come a time when he will move to another home; whether it is reunification with his parents, his family members, another foster home or adoption. Therefore, planning for his departure begins when he first arrives.
One of the ways you can prepare is by organizing a lifebook for your foster child. This book can be a wonderful healing tool for your foster child as he moves to a new home. For some children, a lifebook is the only reminder they may have of previous houses and families they once called home. Essentially, a lifebook is a scrapbook of your foster child's life, and is something he can take with him to his new home, and throughout his life. Sadly, when many foster children are placed into a foster home, much of their early life story is lost, and can never be retraced. A lifebook can not only help the child remember important aspects of his past, it can also bring to light memories that fade away when a child grows older.
When designing a lifebook for your foster child, make sure you include him in creating the book. Do your best to trace his early life; ask your caseworker for information, try to retrieve early pictures and information from birth parents and family members, if possible. Add pictures of the birth family, when possible, as well as any other foster parents he might have had. Include pictures of his friends and other important people in his life. Be sure to identify each person in the pictures. If you have any certificates of any kind that he might have earned or received, include these also. Letters from important people in his life would also be a great addition to his lifebook. Also, be sure to include any medical history you can locate. You may need help from his caseworker, along with his birth family, if possible. Also, any family history you can add would be very beneficial to him, both now and later on in life. This might include military service, education and accomplishments. Don't forget to add information about his own interests and hobbies, with plenty of pictures of him engaged in activities. Finally, leave several blank pages in the back of his lifebook, so he can add pictures, information and even his personal thoughts later on as he grows, or perhaps even in his next foster home.
A lifebook helps a foster child recognize his or her individual worth, something that is so very important for each child in foster care. For many foster children, placement into foster care is a traumatic experience. Lifebooks can be a testament to their strength and their ability to overcome whatever challenges they may face while in care.
Dr. John DeGarmo has been a foster parent for 11 years now, and he and his wife have had over 30 children come through their home. He is a speaker and trainer on many topics about the foster care system, and travels around the nation delivering passionate, dynamic, energetic and informative presentations. Dr. DeGarmo is the author of the highly inspirational and bestselling book Fostering Love: One Foster Parent's Story, and the upcoming book The Foster Parenting Manual: A Practical Guide to Creating a Loving, Safe and Stable Home. He also writes for a number of publications and newsletters, both here in the United States, and overseas. Dr. DeGarmo can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.com, through his Facebook page, or at his website.
Some people make such an impact on their communities that their work will live on long after they are gone. Such is the case with Inez Donley, who died Sunday at the age of 97, after dedicating nearly 70 years to volunteer work in the Lehigh Valley.
Inez and her husband, Edward Donley, were major supporters of KidsPeace, donating more than $1.47 million to our organization to help children and teenagers with behavioral and mental health challenges. Their names grace buildings on our campuses, a testament to their continued support of our work. Their historic gift of $1 million was used to create the Donley Therapeutic Education Center on our Orchard Hills Campus in Orefield, Pa., a place where children learn, play and heal.
For years, the Donleys supported the KidsPeace Children's Fund and KidsPeace Auxiliary. Inez Donley's family has encouraged people to donate to KidsPeace in her name.
Inez, who served on the KidsPeace Board of Directors for 15 years, and also suggested other people who would be positive additions to the board, remained an honorary member until her death. Mary Jane Willis, chair of the Board of Directors, says the KidsPeace community has lost a special champion.
"Inez Donley dedicated her life to supporting programs to benefit children and education," Willis says. "Her steadfast commitment to KidsPeace has given countless children and their families the help they needed to begin down a path to healing."
Edward Donley, former CEO of Air Products, met his wife in 1943 when she began working as his secretary when the company was still located in Tennessee. They later followed the business to the Lehigh Valley, where they raised three children, and Inez became well known for her volunteer efforts in the Allentown area. Many of the major institutions in the Lehigh Valley were recipients of the Donleys' goodwill – Lehigh Carbon Community College, Lehigh Valley Health Network, Cedar Crest College, the Allentown Library.
After Edward Donley retired from Air Products in 1986, he and Inez established the Donley Foundation, which issued scholarships and grants to educational programs and libraries. In 2009, KidsPeace created the Donley Society to honor our strongest annual financial supporters.
William R. Isemann, president and CEO of KidsPeace, expresses gratitude for the years of service and support from Inez Donley.
"The KidsPeace community offers our sincere condolences to the Donley family as they mourn the loss of this phenomenal woman," Isemann says. "Her philanthropy and dedication to the children and families we serve has made an indelible impact. Her heartfelt commitment is an inspiration to the entire Lehigh Valley community."]]>
By Kristen Fritz
On Thursday, the Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee held a hearing at the U.S. Capitol in Washington, D.C. to discuss how to improve access to mental health care insurance benefits. The meeting was in response to the recent Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings, focusing on how the United States could improve the handling of psychological problems that may lead to violence.
Pamela Hyde, the administrator of the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), noted at the hearing that "most people who are violent do not have a mental disorder, and most people with a mental disorder are not violent." She also stated that "demographic variables such as age, gender and socioeconomic status are more reliable predictors of violence than mental illness," according the committee website. "These facts are important, because misconceptions about mental illness can cause discrimination," she said.
According to Hyde, patients and their families now get 69 percent of the cash used to pay for mental health care from state and federal government programs, 12 percent from their own personal resources, and 27 percent from private insurance plans. One of the major laws governing private health insurance benefits for mental health care, the Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act of 2008 (MHPAEA), affects insured and self-insured group health benefits. It does not require an employer to offer coverage for mental health or substance abuse disorders. The rules state that if an employer with 50 or more employees does offer mental health or substance abuse benefits, then the financial requirements and treatment limits for the behavioral health benefits can be no more restrictive than the typical requirements for benefits for other types of disorders.
Another law, the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act of 2010 (PPACA), is set to require all non-grandfathered individual and small group plans to offer an "essential health benefits" (EHB) package that includes coverage for mental health and substance abuse disorder services starting Oct. 1. Michael Hogan, a former New York state mental health office commissioner and the chairman of the President's New Freedom Commission on Mental Health, said improving the mental health system "must begin with a realization that we have begun to take big steps away from an approach that was both separate and unequal." The country also needs better programs to help people who are showing signs of having psychotic disorders find and stay on effective medications, and get and keep jobs, Hogan said.
In December 2012, Russia closed their doors to all U.S. adoptions. That leaves the U.S at an all-time low for adoption rates, plummeting to a 20-year low after peaking at nearly 23,000 in 2004 and falling to 9,319 in 2011, according to the state department.
Russia was among the top three foreign countries to serve as the source of children to be adopted by Americans. Declines in adoptions from China, Ethiopia and South Korea are prompting some parents to look homeward. The number of U.S. infant adoptions (about 90,000 in 1971) fell from 22,291 in 2002 to 18,078 in 2007, according to the most recent five-year tally from the private National Council for Adoption. But the group's president, Chuck Johnson, says the number has remained fairly stable since 2007, citing efforts to promote adoption.
Today there are fewer children in foster care because more are reunited with birth parents or adopted by relatives and foster parents. The number waiting to be adopted fell from 130,637 in 2003 to 104,236 in 2011, according to the Children's Bureau. In an effort to help, KidsPeace continues to support their communities and families by helping to provide foster care to kids that need loving, deserving and caring homes.
With ongoing help from our community and society, we can continue to have a positive impact on our children and continue to make a difference in their lives. With a little bit of love comes an even bigger smile.
The Home Depot store in Whitehall Township, Pa., surprised KidsPeace with a $1,000 donation of hand sanitizer on Monday. Employee Cathy Rabenold delivered the product to KidsPeace Director of Development Patrick Slattery. The sanitizer will be used throughout our residential and hospital programs. Thank you to store Manager Rickey George and the entire Home Depot team for thinking of our children and staff this flu season.
By Dr. John DeGarmo
The first impression you create with your foster child is often vitally important to how the next few days and weeks will transpire. This will probably not be the sweet little child who rushes into your waiting arms, laughing delightfully, as you might imagine. It is highly likely that your foster child will be scared and frightened, full of anxiety. He may have left his family moments ago, and is now told that you are his family, for the time being. Without a doubt, he is full of questions, as emotions swirl within him. Although it is impossible to predict how he will react when he first meets you, it is important that you approach this time with caution and care.
When the caseworker pulls into your driveway, go out to the car and welcome the caseworker and child, introducing yourself immediately, with a warm smile and soft voice. Inform your foster child who you are and the role you will now play in his life. He may very well not understand the foster care system, or what foster parents do. Do not insist that your new child call you mom or dad. Allow your foster child to call you by your first names, if you feel comfortable with this, or by whatever name he feels comfortable in calling you. As the child may be scared, do not insist that he react to you right away. This is a time of extreme difficulty, and your foster child may be in a state of shock. As you help him inside with his possessions, take him by the hand, if he is a little one, or place a soft hand upon his shoulder, if he is a teenager. Actions like these can be reassuring that all will be okay, that he is in a safe and caring home. Do not insist upon hugging, as he may be too embarrassed or hurt to do so.
Show him where he will sleep, and where his clothes will be kept. Have a nightlight already on in the room, if the room is dark. Ask if he is hungry, and offer him some food. If he doesn't want any food, do not insist upon it. He will eat when he is ready and hungry.
You will have to sign some paperwork with your caseworker, as well as go over any last minute news, details and information. If possible, do this away from the child, as this can be especially embarrassing and damaging to your new child. This is a good time for your foster child to eat, or be alone in his new room. If you have children of your own, it may also be a good time for them to engage in some sort of play with their new foster brother. Your foster child will likely be overwhelmed with the situation, so it is important that you make sure your home is as peaceful and quiet as possible. Allow your foster child to have some personal space and alone time. If it is late at night, do not insist that he go to bed immediately. After all, he is probably not only needing some time to reflect on the day's events, sleep may be difficult to come by, as he is in a strange bed, in a strange home. Sadly, it is not uncommon for newly placed foster children to cry themselves to sleep during the first few nights. Do not be surprised if this happens. He may be scared and lonely. Let him know that you understand how difficult it is for him, and that his tears are normal and all right. Read to him a bedtime story each night; place a nightlight not only in his room, but in the nearby bathroom, as well. Let him know that he can get up in the night and use the bathroom whenever he needs to.
Dr. John DeGarmo has been a foster parent for 11 years now, and he and his wife have had more than 30 children come through their home. Dr. DeGarmo wrote his dissertation on fostering, "Responding to the Needs of Foster Children in Rural Schools." He is a speaker and trainer on many topics about the foster care system, and travels around the nation delivering passionate, dynamic, energetic and informative presentations. Dr. DeGarmo is the author of the highly inspirational and bestselling book Fostering Love: One Foster Parent's Story. He also writes for a number of publications and newsletters, both here in the United States, and overseas. Dr. DeGarmo can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.com, through his Facebook page or at his website.
In the case of Christopher Pelletieri, who was adopted by Christine and Peter Pelletieri from the Kingston FCCP office in 2009, it is heartwarming news. Pelletieri was recognized by The Saugerties Community Youth Awards Committee for good deeds and actions.
Ms. Fraske, one of his former teachers at Mount Marion Elementary School, nominated him, saying his "courage and bravery has touch my heart." She adds that "after having a rough, challenging start in life, he has incredibly managed to grow strong emotionally, socially and academically over the past three years."
The award is recognized and supported by the town and village of Saugerties, N.Y., the Saugerties Central School District, the Saugerties Boys and Girls Club and Family of Woodstock, a local social services agency.
Congratulations to Pelletieri! If you have a positive story you would like to share about any other former KidsPeace clients, please email email@example.com.
Denis Asselin, of Cheyney, Pa., stopped at KidsPeace while on a 552-mile pilgrimage to raise awareness about Body Dysmorphic Disorder, a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that robbed him of his son. His goal, with "Walking With Nathaniel" was to visit places where his son spent time before taking his own life. Nathaniel was at KidsPeace's Children's Hospital when he was 11 years old and first started battling BDD.
In a letter to KidsPeace, Asselin thanked those who met with him, saying their attentiveness gave him the confidence he needed to keep moving forward with sharing his son's story.
Aselin was kind enough to share some of the statistics from his journey. He met with 145 professionals at hospitals and clinics and talked with more than 250 people while walking. He collected $24,782 for the International OCD Foundation, of which $9,000 has been earmarked for education and the remainder for research. Asselin and his family are already discussing with the Foundation the possibility of a walk in October 2013 that could involve other families from across the country who have been affected by OCD.]]>
One group pitched in at the Buhl Public Library, where they moved furniture and books in preparation for new carpet installation then got the library organized after the installation. The library volunteers were very thankful for our help and invited the youth to the library's open house.
Other youth have ben working at the Salvation Army Thrift Store in Virginia. The store manager, Vic, has been very supportive, as he has worked with troubled youth and adults from the community and understands the need for them to work in a positive environment. Mesabi youth recently helped open a new section of the store that had previously been used for storage. They cleaned, sorted through boxes of donations and installed shelving. They also helped display new items for sale, unload trucks and decorate for the holidays.
We look forward to continuing to serve our community.]]>
At KidsPeace, we are acutely aware of the increasing needs of the population we serve. But as legislators grapple with the possibility of slashing mental health funding in an effort to avoid the "fiscal cliff," KidsPeace and other mental health providers are once again getting the squeeze.
Read more about the struggles facing organizations like ours in our latest Salisbury Patch blog and find out why mental health should be everyone's concern.
When Kelly Little, program manager for FCCP Williamsport was planning the annual holiday party and put out a call for donations, she was pleasantly surprised to receive gifts from some people she once served as a caseworker.
Brittany Weisenberger, now of Montgomery, Pa., was one of those former clients who donated gifts for a 3-year-old girl. Weisenberger entered the system in 1998, when she was 10 years old. She and her two siblings were separated, and she stayed in foster care for a few years until she started attending boarding school in Hershey. She knows how much support and love foster care children need.
"I know how it is not to have your mom and dad there," she said. "I like to always give back to where I've been a part of."
Weisenberger, now a stay-at-home mom to two children, 2 years and 8 months, is grateful to her foster parents, who she said showed their children "how to be a family" and with whom she still keeps in touch today. Her childhood experiences make her even more determined to take good care of her family.
"It makes me work harder so they don't have to be put in the system," she said. "They have a mom and a dad and a supportive home."]]>
Electricity Maine has chosen KidsPeace as a recipient of their "Power to Help" program. This means that for every customer that enrolls in Electricity Maine's program and mentions KidsPeace as a referral source, the company will now donate $5 to KidsPeace. The funds stay in the local area to help families served by our Lewiston FCCP office.
This is just the beginning of the generosity of Electricity Maine. The staff members have sponsored our foster children and teenagers and are purchasing holiday gifts for all youth in our foster homes across the state. They also helped with a holiday lights contest for our foster homes and gave the house with the best display a month of free power.]]>
Mike Fisher, owner of Print Concepts in Allentown, Pa., has graciously nominated KidsPeace for a $5,000 donation through the Univest "Caring for Community Giveaway." Now we just need to rack up addtional votes to show Univest why our charity should be chosen.
If you'd like to help, please take a moment to visit the Univest Facebook page and nominate KidsPeace as well. This is a wonderful opportunity for our kids and would make 2013 a very happy New Year. Nominations may be submited until Dec. 31. Tell your friends, and log on today!]]>
Virginia Foster Care and Community Programs had its first adoptive placement -- a boy from Texas -- in our Richmond, Va., office in October. We are providing services until his adoption is finalized in the next six months. We have also submitted a proposal to the Child and Family Services Agency (CFSA) in Washington D.C. to facilitate adoptions for children in the custody of CFSA with families who reside in Northern Virginia. We are anxiously waiting to hear if we will be one of the agencies selected to do this work.
We have had five adoptions in Washington D.C. so far this year, and several more are pending in the next six months. We are especially thrilled to report that two of our youth who had been in foster care for more than 15 years have been adopted together by a family in Virginia.
We received our Maryland adoption license in the spring and passed our first licensing visit from the state's DHR on Nov. 29 with no citations. We have two adoptive families who have been selected to take a child from North Carolina and a toddler from Delaware. Once the out-of-state counties sign the contracts and interstate adoption is approved, we will be able to place both of these children with their new families.
Are you thinking of bringing a child into your family, or do you know of a child who needs a home? Find out more about our adoption services.
For years the Showalters have supported the mission of KidsPeace and KidsPeace Foster Care. They have made their support known by sharing their voices and image in various KidsPeace PSAs as well as promoting KidsPeace during home games at Camden Yards. The Showalters invite all to the 5K Trick-or-Trot in Baltimore, Saturday, October 27, where all proceeds benefit KidsPeace Foster Care and Community Programs of Maryland and Washington D.C.
Listen to the complete WBAL interview with Angela Showalter here: http://www.wbal.com/article/94952/10/template-marylandsnewsnow/Angela-Showalter-Talks-About-The-O-Mazing-Season-And-KidsPeace]]>
It was wonderful timing for a Royal Visit as Miss PA's Outstanding Teen arrived in time for cake and coffee as KidsPeace celebrated it's 130th birthday on October 19, 2012. Kaitlyn, Mia and Judy joined in the festivities for a little while and then were whisked away for a tour of KidsPeace (www.kidspeace.org). Sean Klutinoty, Director of Marketing at KidsPeace took them to the Hospital and around the campus. They then joined Julius Licata, Director of TeenCentral.Net and ParentCentral.Net for lunch. They finished just in time to head to the Donley Education Center where quite a few KP residents were waiting to meet and listen to Kaitlyn. The kids seemed to fully enjoy her enlightening talk and then Kaitlyn was filimed talking about her role as Miss PA's Outstanding Teen and how beautifully TeenCentral.Net works with the organization. All in all, it was a busy but very eventful and beautiful day.
Kaitlyn left wanting to come back and we can't wait for her next visit before she is forced to relinquish the crown to a new Miss PA's Outstanding Teen in June of 2013.]]>
Well, now there is a new fun filled opportunity that you won't want to miss. It is the Family Fun Mud Run. It will be held at the KidsPeace campus in Orefield on November 3, 2012. What is a Family Fun Mud Run?
It is a family friendly event! Fun for all ages & ability levels! Participants will follow a 3.1-mile scenic trail & traverse through 10 obstacles (sand pit crawl, a cargo net climb, a tunnel crawl, a slip 'n slide and a mud pit). Youth under the age of 18 can choose the 1-Mile Run/Walk or the 5k. Youth under age 13 must be accompanied by an adult during the 5k run/walk. Children ages 4-6 can participate in a FREE 100-yard dash.
This is a chance for families to get some great exercise, have fun getting muddy and help KidsPeace help others. It promises to be a great event that you would not want to miss. So often parents are looking for fun things to do with their children. Here it is.
Simply log onto www.kidspeace.org/mudrun and you will get all the details you need to become a part of this exciting and fun filled day. Bring the family and/or friends and have a wonderful time.
We look forward to seeing you there.]]>
Advantage Nutrition and Wellness
Angeline Piskorski /Arbonne
Caruso Benefits Group
Capital Blue Cross
Cedar Crest College Dept of Nursing
Coordinated Health Services
Darlene Krause - Clemons / Mary Kay
Diversified Investments
First Commonwealth Credit Union
Green Pepper Nutrition
The Hartford
Highmark Blue Shield
Integrative Nutrition
Jes Campbell / Zumba
Lehigh Valley Health Network
Liberty Mutual
Miller-Keystone Blood Bank
Morgan Stanley Smith Barney
North Whitehall Chiropractic
Orthopedic Associates of Allentown
Pam Smith / Yoga
PNC Bank
People's First Credit Union
Performance Foodservice
PMA Companies
PSU Extension Agency
Subway / Schnecksville
Sam's Club #6536
Sanofi Pasteur
Tobacco Free NE PA
United Concordia Dental
Western Pest Control
WM. Consalo & Sons Farms, Inc.
24-7 Fitness
We look forward to working together again the future!
KidsPeace is hosting a 5K Family Fun Mud Run on Nov. 3 at our campus in Orefield, Pa.
Whether this is your first 5K or you are an avid runner, join us for a 5K, 1-mile, or 100-yard dash -- all with obstacles along the way. Join as a team and run together, helping each other through the obstacles, or as an individual, finding your inner strength to complete the course!
Mud Run trophies will be awarded for the teams that raise the most money and for the top male and female runner for the 5K Mud Run.
There will be a 100-yard dash for ages 4-6, a 1-mile course for those younger than 18 and the 5K (anyone younger than 13 years must be supervised by an adult).
Running and walking are great ways to stay healthy and happy! And, what better way to incorporate health than with your friends and family!
Come enjoy KidsPeace's Orchard Hills campus on Nov. 3 and promote wellness!
Register online today. Early Bird registration is available.]]>
For me, interns hold a special place in my heart because I can recall that time in my life vividly. Returning to school to obtain my MSW was driven by my goal of working with foster youth in some capacity that would support and empower them. My internships helped to solidify my commitment to working with this population. Thankfully, I was exposed to opportunities that challenged and nurtured my professional development. It is with that in mind that I welcome our 2012-2013 MSW interns.
We look forward to supporting, challenging and nurturing you through this important milestone in your professional journey. This work is not easy and the rewards are not always visible but by the end of your spring semester I believe, wholeheartedly, that if you commit to the experience you will know more about yourself as a professional social worker. Over the next several months my expectation for each of you is to be open to learning. My expectation for the KidsPeace Maryland team is for us to be open to learning from each of you.
Here are some tidbits I picked up over the years (as an intern and also while working with interns):
Again, we are truly excited to have you on board and wish all of you a terrific year with us.
Written by Ericka Chukwuanu, LGSW- Child Placement Supervisor
But with an increasing number of families juggling two work schedules, daycare, school and myriad extracurricular activities, it's becoming harder to sit down together at the same time every night. In an effort to get families back around the table, the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASAColumbia) started Family Day, to remind parents that "Dinner Makes a Difference!"
Family Day will be celebrated nationwide on Sept. 24, and all families can participate. Research from CASAColumbia has repeatedly shown that when parents engage their children in conversation during frequent family dinners, the children's chance of engaging in risky behaviors is reduced.
Family Day was started in 2001 and is always celebrated on the fourth Monday in September. So take the Family Day pledge today and continue to fight for healthier children and teens.]]>
Children and teenagers on the Orchard Hills Campus in Pennsylvania will enjoy an end-of-summer pool party and luau for Labor Day.
The fun kicks off at 10:30 a.m. Monday at the TEC pool, which has been turned into a cruise ship for the event. Staff members should register their units to reserve a spot for the event.
The boys will swim from 10:30 a.m. to noon with a cookout to follow. The girls' time slot will start at 2 p.m. All participants should bring swimsuits and towels.
Planned events include a musical hula hoop contest, the limbo, wacky water relays, beach volleyball, a splash contest and free swim. The cookout will be capped wth Sno-Cones.
The event is sponsored by the KidsPeace Facilities & Recreation Departments.]]>
We have completed these sections and they are filled with very important information. Teens can benefit from this interactive section and can learn about the dangers of drinking and even why it is best to avoid it. Most people don't even realize when they have a problem and this complicates their situation because unless they realize there is a problem, they can't take steps to correct it. When teens go partying and overindulge, they often lose their ability to make good decisions. They can get into fights, end up with alcohol poisoning and even drive while under the influence. Any one of these can, at best, complicate their lives. At worst, it can take their lives.
Now, this is not meant to scare our teens or their parents, it is simply stating the facts. Both teens and parents have to learn as much as they can so that one or the other can make the best choices. Teens can learn why they should avoid drinking and parents can help the teens if and when they start to show signs of a problem. Recognizing a problem early is key to avoiding major issues later. Parents can learn how to deal with a son or daughter who is experimenting or even involved with alcohol and how to get them help. While this may appear to be overkill, any time you deal with something that can potentially cause harm to a loved one or they can be responsible for hurting someone else, you can never do too much.
TeenCentral.Net is here for your teens and now, through ParentCentral.Net, we are here for parents. Together we can make some great changes and help our teens grow to their fullest potential. Log on -- work it out.]]>
KidsPeace created National KidsDay in 1994 to celebrate childhood, demonstrate our commitment to nurturing children and prepare our kids for a healthy, happy future. KidsPeace wants to help build a nation where every child is strong, resilient and happy, surrounded by trusted adults who allow them the freedom to be kids.
KidsPeace proudly celebrates 130 years of helping children, families and communities overcome crisis. National KidsDay, which was recognized by the U.S. Congress and endorsed by the U.S. Conference of Mayors, is a simply reminder of children's year-round need for quality interaction with adults.
So don't delay. KidsPeace encourages all parents, grandparents and other caregivers to make a date with a child today and take time to participate in an activity that builds trust and love.
Not sure where to begin? Remember, you don't have to spend a lot (or any) money on KidsDay. It's about giving of your time. Here are some ideas for how to celebrate:
Have more ideas? Leave a comment and tell us how you plan to celebrate this year.
My first interview was with a woman I would describe as hardworking, feisty and committed. She has been a foster parent with KidsPeace for five years. I have had the pleasure of knowing her for going on three years. What first struck me about her was how truthful she was with EVERYONE. It was refreshing and inspiring to hear the truth about a situation and then hear, "so what are we going to do about it?" As I took on this project of capturing the essence of KidsPeace, she was one of the first parents to come to mind.
Who inspires you as a foster parent? The kids. You hear a lot of different things and a lot of different views on what makes these kids do what they do. I like to see firsthand what motivates them and then see how with consistency they are able to grow and change. You don't have to do much more than be consistent with them. A lot of people think it takes a lot of work or effort to raise a foster child but it doesn't, it just takes being consistent with them because they really appreciate it.
What are some of the needs that you have seen with foster youth? They need a lot of different things. But the most important thing is consistency. They need role models, someone to show them rather than always telling them. We get so caught up in telling them things that we never seem to think of how important it is to show them how to do things. And if we can do the first two things then we have demonstrated the third thing that they need, which is love. But a lot of times adults get it wrong. We think we are to give love or say love when we need to show these kids love by being patient and kind. We cannot expect them to love us just because we are their foster parents and that they know they are loved just because we tell them.
If you could talk to policymakers and taxpayers about where funding should go for foster care, what would you tell them? I'd tell them that the stipend we receive covers their basic daily living needs so it is not about putting more money in the hands of the foster parents. It is about putting money into sponsoring foster children in programs and activities that help provide them with a full life. Education is not just what they learn in school but what they are able to experience outside of school as well. If we are to give them the best chance in this world, we have to give them access to the best activities that help support their growth and development. And if there was something they wanted to do to help support the families, then fund respite homes to help give the foster parents a chance to reenergize and reconnect with why they became foster parents.
Why is it important for the community to care about foster youth? Foster care youth are a part of our communities no matter where they got their start. They need to feel whole and they need to feel supported. People need to stop assuming that kids in foster care will destroy our communities. People spend too much time judging and we need to stop that way of thinking.
How would you describe your experience as a foster parent? I have always had a wonderful experience as a foster parent. I have had a lot of different experiences, but overall it has truly been wonderful. Working with the kids has always been easy. Sometimes working with the adults and the business of fostering has been a challenge. I know it is for a reason that there are so many different people involved and so much paperwork but it can be overwhelming at times. A way to fix that would be to include foster parents in on the process of developing the forms and policies that they have to abide by.
Talking with this mom reminded me that we all are called to this field for different reasons and in different capacities but at the end of the day we are all working toward the same goals.
To learn more about how to become a foster parent with KidsPeace please visit us online and like us on Facebook.
Written by: Ericka Chukwuanu, LGSW]]>
The Office Depot Foundation has generously chosen to include KidsPeace in its National Backpack Program, an initiative to help students start the school year with confidence and prepare them for ongoing educational success.
The Foundation will donate 100 sackpacks to KidsPeace during a "Back-to-School" Celebration at 3:30 p.m. Aug. 2 at the Office Depot store, 480 S. Cedar Crest Blvd., South Whitehall Township. Stewart, driver of the No. 14 Office Depot/Mobil 1 Chevrolet Impala in the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series, will attend the event.
Since 2001, the Office Depot Foundation has helped more than 2.9 million children succeed in school. This year alone, the Foundation will donate 3,000 new sackpacks to nonprofit organizations and schools in the Allentown and Pocono areas. The sackpacks are zippered pouches containing essential school supplies and are designed for children in kindergarten through fifth grade.]]>
If so, it's time to clear the clutter and turn it into a profit. The KidsPeace Family Center is hosting a community yard sale from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Aug. 11, and time is running out to reserve a spot.
A $20 donation will get you a 19-by-8-foot space in the parking lot of our campus at 1650 Broadway in Salisbury Township. You may even purchase more than one spot. The only catch? You have to sign up by Wednesday to guarantee participation. Vendors must bring their own tables.
The sign-up fees will go toward costs associated with our community programs, and participants keep the proceeds from what they sell. The event will be held rain or shine, with an indoor location in case of inclement weather.
Anyone interested in purchasing a space should contact Jen Mucellin at 610-799-8659 or email@example.com.]]>
The drive, organized through Miller-Keystone Blood Center, is scheduled for 9:10 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Wednesday in the Donley TEC parking lot.
Did you know that someone in the United States needs blood every two seconds, and more than 300 units of blood are needed each day in our regional hospitals? Most people who are 17 years old and weigh at least 110 pounds are eligible to donate.
If you're a first-time donor, you may not realize how simple the process is. Just register and bring valid photo identification. Then, a trained staff member will take your temperature, blood pressure and pulse and a drop of blood to check your iron level and ensure you are able to donate. You will be asked a series of health and lifestyle questions, the answers to which will be kept confidential.
The actual blood donation only takes five to 10 minutes, and all supplies used in the process are sterile and disposable, so there's no risk of contracting any disease. After donating, you'll be asked to stay for 15 minutes and have a snack to replenish the sugar and fluids in your body.
As an added incentive to donate in the summer, Miller-Keystone is giving donors the chance to turn pints into gallons. Through Aug. 19, all registered donors will be entered into a drawing to win a $100 gas card (two will be awarded each week). You will also have the chance to win one of two four-packs of tickets and a parking pass to the Lehigh Valley IronPigs or the Reading Phillies. One lucky winner will also snag a four-pack of tickets and a parking pass for a Philadelphia Phillies game.
Contact Beta Bogaert, employee health nurse, at 610-799-8228 or firstname.lastname@example.com to make your appointment today. Thank you in advance for your continued commitment to saving lives.]]>
The tournament will be held Aug. 18 and 19 on our Orchard Hills campus in North Whitehall Township. Proceeds from the tournament benefit two KidsPeace websites: TeenCentral.Net and ParentCentral.Net.
Teams may submit online applications before July 30. The tournament is open to girls league teams U9-U19 and boys league teams U9-U15 playing in the upcoming Fall 2012 season. The cost is $410 for teams playing 8v8 in the U9-U12 divisions and $490 for teams playing 11v11 in the U11-U19 divisions.
We're also looking for volunteers to help with the event. Help is needed for various tasks, including concession stands, field marshaling and traffic control. Volunteers will be used from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. both days and may choose to give as little as two hours or stay the entire day.
Check out our YouTube video.
For more information or to register, email email@example.com.]]>
Where will they go when they suddenly have independence thrust upon them? Will they pursue higher education or find work? Did anyone properly prepare them for the moment they would truly be on their own?
Statistics show the odds are stacked against foster care children:
At KidsPeace, we realize the need to reach out to this population. This is why, in Maryland, we have the KEYS (KidsPeace Empowering Youth to Succeed) program, which aims to prepare foster children who are about to leave the haven of the system. They learn life skills like how to balance a checkbook, they explore their career and schooling options and they receive mentoring to help launch them successfully into the next phase of their lives.
But what about all the young adults who don't have access to this program? It can be a scary time of transition. In June, the Long Island Children's Museum, along with SalaamGarageNYC, unveiled an aging-out of foster care project entitled "Everybody Needs Someone."
The storytelling exhibition runs through Sept. 2 and is intended to shed light on this often forgotten population. Photographs provide visitors a look at the struggles and triumphs of 15 young adults as they start their lives after foster care.
The museum is located at 11 Davis Ave. Garden City, N.Y. The exhibit is free with regular museum admission of $11, and visitors who have smart phones with QR reader applications will be able to read stories that accompany the photographs.
Christina Warfel, a mobile therapist in our New Cumberland, Pa., office, lost all her family's belongings when a fire broke out at their Harrisburg home on June 25. She, her husband and their three children – two boys ages 11 and 5 and a 3-year-old daughter – have been living with relatives since the blaze. The few rooms of their home that were not destroyed by fire sustained heavy smoke damage that prevented the family from salvaging any belongings.
If you would like to assist Warfel and her family, please consider donating to the Associate Assistance Fund. Checks should be made out to KidsPeace, with the memo line reading "Associate Assistance Fund (Christina Warfel)," and mailed to Gina Stano at KidsPeace, 4085 Independence Dr., Schnecksville, PA 18078. A lump sum check will then be written to Warfel.]]>
It's even more unusual when the person calling is now 78 and spent four years at KidsPeace (then Wiley House) as a child.
But that's exactly what happened recently. Richard VanStrander, who now lives in Tennessee, called simply to say thank you for the care he received after he and his brother were pulled off the streets of Allentown when he was only 8 years old. VanStrander's father had died of Parkinson's disease, and his mother broke her hip and was unable to care for him.
He said he was not appropriately grateful at the time; he described himself as a child angry at the world. But years later, he's able to look back at his life and acknowledge that it could have had a very different outcome if not for the kindness and care he received during those four years.
"They took good care of me there," he said. "Most of the time, except for the belligerence of my own self, it was a good place to be."
Read more of VanStrander's story in the next edition of KidsPeace's email newsletter, "For the Kids," which will be distributed later this summer. Not yet a subscriber? Sign up now for our mailing list.
Do you have your own KidsPeace-related story to share? Post a comment or email email@example.com.
The 10th annual KidsPeace Toy Run will happen July 21, rain or shine. The ride leaves at noon from Werry's Pub in Marshalls Creek and goes to our Orchard Hills Campus in North Whitehall Township.
Immediately following the run, at Werry's Pub, there will be live music, food, a pavilion and pool for children , and an auction and raffles. Organizers request a $15 donation for adults, $2.50 for children 12 and younger. Donations of new toys, clothes, videos and other items for children ages 10 to 18 are needed and appreciated.
For more information, call Owen at 570-223-9934 or 917-488-3957.
Directions to Werry's Pub:
Take Interstate 80 to Exit 309 (Old 52) and follow Route 209 North for four miles. Go right, and Werry's Pub is approximately 1.25 miles on the left, after the flea market.
From Route 84, go to the Milford exit (53) onto route 209 South. Werry's Pub is about 32 miles on the right.]]>
On June 14 the Maryland Foster Care Program hosted its first "Launch Party" in order to celebrate the 21st birthday of a young man who is aging out of the system. The party was an inspiration to everyone in attendance and reminded all that were a part of the celebration that through the challenges and successes, we truly do make an impact on the youth in our programs.
Matthew has had the same family consultant, Thomas Smith, since he came to KidsPeace five years ago. One of the many guests at the party was KidsPeace Family Resource Specialist Nadine Anderson, who interviewed Matthew prior to his admission to the program and who shared many kind words about him and well wishes for the future.
In the past year, as Matthew was preparing for independence, he has also worked closely with the Maryland KEYS Coordinator, Jocelyn Kennedy. KEYS stands for KidsPeace Empowering Youth to Succeed and is a unique program focused on group and individual independent living skills preparation and mentoring, as well as job finding and preparation. Matthew was an active participant in KEYS and, as a result of his attendance at bi-monthly KEYS groups, he earned more than $900 in savings that will be applied toward his rent as he prepares to live on his own (in addition to more than $900 that he received as cash in hand for his participation each week). The money that KidsPeace MidAtlantic programs has raised for KEYS will also help the program to rent a truck in order to furnish his apartment and apply toward rent for future months. Additionally, through the generosity of community partners who have donated items to the KEYS program, Matthew was able to pick out several items (such as pillows, baskets filled with household items, a microwave) to help make his new apartment a home as he prepares to live on his own for the very first time.
The party was first of many in the future for those youth who prepare to exit the foster care system at the age of 21 and venture out into the world on their own. The first party was a success from the decorations to the special food that guests prepared for the occasion, to the Metallica poster everyone signed for Matthew to have a daily reminder that we care.
Congratulatory toasts, happy birthday songs, ice cream cake and smiles were all around the room. Matthew even kicked off the toasts (with sparkling cider of course!) by thanking everyone for the help and care he received during his time here, and he gave a special thank you to his foster mother, Nola Davis, who, as Matthew said, hung in there with him during the most difficult time, when he was anxious about preparing for adulthood and needing to leave foster care. Staff members were thrilled to have the opportunity to let Matthew know what potential they see in him and wish him well on his way to adulthood knowing that KidsPeace will always be here for him if he needs a friendly face, kind words or support.
Everyone who attended was touched by the event and the program looks forward to celebrating all youth who turn 21 in order to "launch" them successfully into adulthood.
Inventor Center took the top prize for the money raised with $937.88. King House collected the most pennies, adding up to $291.42.
The next challenge is our birthday card campus. Through July 31, all FCCP offices, residential and hospital, will ask children to make birthday cards for KidsPeace's 130th celebration. The cards will be judged, and the winner will receive a $100 gift card.
News about our Orchard Hills and Broadway campuses in Pennsylvania, as well as some general highlights of our organization, will now be featured on Salisbury Patch.
Patch, which has websites in communities around the country, is a news organization that focuses on hyperlocal events.]]>
This is a typical morning in the garden at KidsPeace's Temple, Pa., campus, where students have a chance to get their hands dirty, learn life skills and forget some of their troubles for a short time.
The garden plot, which has expanded every season since the first bed was created six years ago, is packed with organized sections of produce. Carrots, beets, spinach, lettuce, herbs, onions, garlic, broccoli and blueberries are planted in neat rows. Trellises surround cucumbers, pumpkins and gourds, and a bright patch of sunflowers and marigolds will soon line one side of the garden. See more garden photos.
Nearby compost bins stocked with worms – to speed the process of breaking down waste – turn food scraps and paper into nourishment for the garden. Strategically stacked piles of cinderblocks, wood and dirt scattered around the garden serve as houses for toads. Since the garden is organic, it's important to utilize toads and other natural forms of pest control.
"It's all kid-driven," said Fred Indenbaum, a master's level therapist who leads the garden project.
The advantages for the children who work in the garden are countless, Indenbaum says. Impulse control, self-esteem building, a sense of connectedness in a digital age, an appreciation for aesthetics, conflict resolution, problem solving and a commitment to hard work all go into the project. But the biggest part, he says, is how gardening teaches the children to look outside of themselves and consider the needs of others, a key element of healthy child development.
"For me, the empathy is probably the central part of this whole thing," he said. "A lot of our kids lack that."
The children are learning to care for another living thing, and they realize quickly the consequences of not giving it their all.
"They learn that when they put in, they get something back," he said. "It's an immense feeling of accomplishment."
They also get paid in produce. The children on the Berks County campus are there for day treatment, as part of either an acute partial or educational program. When they go home in the evenings, they often take produce or flowers with them, eagerly sharing the fruits of their hard labor with their families. Much of what is grown in the garden also gets used in the cafeteria on campus.
Indenbaum asks the young gardeners for their ideas to give them the opportunity to own both successes and mistakes along the way.
"It helps to re-frame failure. It will be flawed. I want it to be flawed," he said. "It's important to see the whole process. Life doesn't magically appear fully formed."
Indenbaum points out the garden can give the children perspective into their own troubles too.
"Your mom abandoned you, your dad's incarcerated. What do you do?" he asked.
"The garden is not a metaphor for life. It is life," he said. "They get a lot of messages here that aren't necessarily spoken, but are given."]]>
Two of the recipients the club honored for their contributions to their community were KidsPeace foster parents Juan Ballesteros and Amy Smallman.
The couple has fostered children of many races and ages by taking the necessary trainings to care for these children with specific needs. In the past four years, they have fostered 14 children who were emotionally and physically impaired. They cared for these children by showing them what it meant to be a part of a family.
An application submitted to nominate Juan and Amy lauds them for being team players who have always had positive relationships with case managers, agency staff and birth parents. They have constant communications with school staff to ensure the children's educational needs are being met. In addition they provide support at all of the foster children's court hearings and meetings and input on the best interests of the children.
Juan and Amy have also committed their time by getting involved with other foster parents and groups. They mentor new foster parents by providing them support when it comes to addressing certain behavioral issues. This goes to show that they are always willing to help out anyone in need.]]>
Carl "Skip" and Ann Rice have been bringing foster teens into their home for 24 years.
They started their foster care journey when some of their children were still in high school. They weren't initially with KidsPeace, but when we opened a foster care office in their hometown of Danville, Pa., they started working with our organization. They were among a group of foster parents honored Friday at the KidsPeace Foster Care and Community Programs' 21st annual foster parent recognition banquet.
"KidsPeace is a good company," Ann said, adding that they have received tremendous support over the years from their caseworkers. "They care about their kids."
The Rices, who have two sons and a daughter of their own, prefer to take in teenage boys, although they admit with a laugh most people don't understand why. But in talking with the couple, it's evident they love the children and treat them as their own. Ann points out that she never refers to them as her foster children, but calls them "my boys."
"Some of them come in so tough, so heartbroken," Ann said. "They don't even know they are."
But with the Rices' gentle guidance and strict rules, the teens learn to trust them, open up and find a place they can call home, if only for a short time. The two boys who now live with them came into their home about two years ago. This is fairly typical, as most of the foster teens stay with the Rices for two to three years. In that time, they are encouraged to go to church and graduate from high school. Many keep in touch after they leave.
Ann started to tear up when she recalled one foster teen who had lived with them and became very good friends with their daughter. Shortly after the girl went back to live with her biological mother, she was killed in a car crash. Still, despite that particular tragedy and the many challenges that come with helping to raise foster children, the Rices say they will continue to be foster parents as long as they can.
"Sometimes I think keeping the kids around helps you stay younger," Skip said, although he joked that the toughest part about fostering teens is "keeping your hair."
His wife gave a more serious take on the challenge of taking in a vulnerable population.
"To see them go, I think that's the toughest part," she said.]]>
Honey, 32, entered the foster care system at 18 months old in Belfast, Maine, and bounced around until she was 7. Two years later, the Pennsylvania couple who had brought her into their home adopted her.
"I really appreciate how much they did for me," she said.
She shared her story Friday night at the KidsPeace Foster Care and Community Programs' 21st annual foster parent recognition banquet in Danville, Pa. May is National Foster Care Awareness Month.
Honey said after she was adopted, she had a normal childhood until her father unexpectedly died when she was 15. Still, she turned that hardship into a positive, working diligently to put herself through school so she could become an ICU nurse. She now works for Geisinger Medical Center and has two children of her own, who make her realize every day how much she has to be grateful for in her life.
Recently, a foster sibling from a family that had given her a temporary home when she was small reached out to her via Facebook, asking if she was the person who had lived in their house. Honey was touched to be able to say thank you to people who had helped to shape her early years, and she hopes other foster parents who guided her would be proud of where she is today and what she has accomplished.
She told the foster parents in attendance that even if they feel sometimes as though they're unappreciated, they are making an enormous difference in the lives of children.
Ann and Carl "Skip" Rice have been fostering teenagers for more than two decades. Check back to read their story.]]>
John and Joanne Dworsky raised a son and are expecting their first grandchild, but they continue to open their hearts and home to children through KidsPeace's foster care program.
Since the Lehighton area couple became foster parents in 1997, they have had six long-term placements and a handful of respite cases. Three children got adopted from their care, and many still keep in touch. Joanne said she always wanted to be a foster mom, but when she broached the subject with her son when he was growing up, he wasn't receptive to the idea.
Once he was in graduate school, the Dworskys took in their first child. Since they had one child of their own, they've found they do well with longer-term placements of one child at a time. But they have accepted some respite cases, where children stay for up to about a month to give other foster families a break. Though they have traditionally taken in teenagers, Joanne laughed when she recalled the time they got two 2-year-olds for a couple of weeks and she and John scrambled to keep up with them.
They have seen children from a variety of backgrounds – some have been abused, others have parents in jail, many have never been taught basic hygiene or study skills. But there is one thing the Dworskys have found all children need – structure.
John said many of the children were told for years that they were stupid or would never amount to anything, so he and his wife make it their mission to encourage each child to live up to his or her true potential.
"You can be anything you want to be as long as you're willing to work at it," he tells them.
While the children are in their care, the Dworskys make them feel like a part of the family. This may take the form of interacting with their teachers, taking them on outdoor adventures, doling out chores or making sure they have proper clothing.
"Most of them come with a plastic bag full of stuff, and half of it doesn't fit," John said. "They don't have much of their own identity."
Joanne has found that every child, no matter the age or gender, loves helping her in the kitchen.
"I think they just like anything that's one-on-one," she said. "When they think they're doing something good, they just light up."
John says the toughest part is often dealing with biological parents who don't show up for arranged visits. Joanne acknowledges it can also be difficult to remember the children are with them on a temporary basis. She makes sure to never show her emotions when it's time for a child to leave them.
"The whole idea for us was to treat them the way we treat our own child. So when you bring them in, they deserve everything you can give them," she said. "The most meaningful thing I get out of it is that when the kids leave here, they've experienced a happy, safe home and they see they deserve it. I've planted a seed and somewhere down the road, they'll see that."
Right now, the Dworksys are serving as foster grandparents once a month for a 13-year-old girl whose grandparents live on the West Coast. Both laud their KidsPeace caseworkers and say they'll continue taking in foster children as long as they're able.
"For me, foster parenting has just given me a lot of joy," Joanne said.]]>
We are proud of this long history of making a difference and intend to celebrate in style. Today is the kickoff for a 130-day celebration. From now until our birthday party on the Orchard Hills campus in Orefield, Pa., on Sept. 12, we have fun events planned at all of our locations in 10 states and Washington DC.
Each day, visit our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/kidspeace.org, where we'll be sharing little-known facts about the organization and offering some chances to win prizes.
Do you have a personal connection to KidsPeace? Post a comment here or on our Facebook page to share how the organization touched your life or helped someone you know.]]>
One year ago, Asselin, of Cheyney, Pa., lost his only son, Nathaniel, to suicide after a 13-year struggle with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), a disease on the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) spectrum. Now, Asselin has embarked on a 500-mile pilgrimage from his Chester County home to Boston in an effort to talk to people about the disease and stop at places his son visited during his short life.
One of those places is KidsPeace, where Nathaniel was hospitalized when he was 11 years old. Asselin calls it the first chapter in the lengthy saga of his son's illness. Asselin, who has been walking since April 24 and has logged about 130 miles, arrived at the Children's Hospital today and met with members of the hospital team to share his story.
Right after his son died, he and his wife, Judy, and daughter, Carrie, walked the ancient pilgrimage route of Camino de Santiago in Spain. He described that as a deeply spiritual experience that helped him work through some of his overwhelming grief.
"I needed to ground my feelings from having lost Nathaniel," he said.
His initial plan was to return to Europe to walk again in his son's memory, but it didn't feel natural. Instead, he said, he wanted to set out from his home, as a true pilgrim. And so the idea of stopping at places that were both highlights and times of immense sadness in his son's life – the hospital where he was born, an elementary school, his psychiatrist's office, various hospitals – was born.
He has had some company along the way from people who have met him along his path. Anyone who is interested can track his progress in a blog on http://walkingwithnathaniel.org. His wife, Judy, is going to walk the Bethlehem to Easton leg of the journey with him this weekend.
While the walk, which he coined Camino de Nathaniel, brings him a measure of peace in the midst of his grief, Asselin's greatest goal is to "bring brain disorders out of the closet." As he walks, he carries with him a scallop seashell, which symbolizes that "there are many paths to one place." The shell also adorns the cover of a pilgrimage passport his wife designed for him that he's using to collect signatures of people he talks to along his journey.
BDD, which affects males and females equally, is often referred to as "broken mirror disorder," Asselin said. Sufferers will fixate on their image, studying perceived flaws such as facial symmetry or blemishes that no one else would see. Nathaniel's illness progressed to the point where his family had to remove all mirrors from their home. But when Nathaniel first got sick, the Asselins didn't know their son was struggling with BDD. He was running compulsively, not eating as much and had lost a lot of weight.
"The whole idea was to get his body weight up and to find a medication that would quiet the messages he was hearing," Asselin said.
It was years until professionals could pinpoint that Nathaniel was fighting BDD. Asselin got emotional as he described leaving his son at KidsPeace for that first hospitalization. He calls it the end of his son's childhood.
"He was 11 years old. He was scared, and we were scared. As parents who love their children, you'd do anything to take that illness away from them," he said. "As a parent, you live in the arena of that disorder. I had para-BDD."
Nathaniel was put on medication that helped him for a few years, but it also came with side effects. He would tell his parents, "'Sometimes I feel like I'm moving through gauze,'" Asselin said.
The hardest part is that other people couldn't see his illness. When they looked at Nathaniel, Asselin said, they saw a tall, handsome, intelligent young man. This is what Asselin wants to convey – that mental disorders need as much attention and are just as real as physical ailments.
And he said parents and caregivers need to be allowed to be involved in their children's care. He and his wife often felt they were pushed aside by medical professionals who had more book knowledge of the disease, even though they lived with its manifestation every day.
He said his son, like others with mental illness, gave everything he had in the fight against BDD.
"He was a warrior," he said. "There's such integrity in a person's mental illness. It's not as if they're not trying hard. He was always giving it all he had, but it wasn't sustainable."
He described it as a series of advances and backslides, but every time Nathaniel started to make progress, that just meant he had that much further to fall when the disease got the best of him.
Dr. Andrew Clark, the hospital's medical director, said hearing Asselin's story reinforces the work he does every day. He echoed Asselin's sentiments that the public needs to appreciate the struggles of young people with mental illness.
"It's the most vulnerable field, taking care of the most vulnerable patients," he said.
Asselin left KidsPeace this morning, heading for Mt. Sinai Hospital in New York, where he has an appointment on May 13. His final stop is a June 7 rally in Boston, which is sponsored by the OCD Foundation.
Since Asselin has set out on his journey, he has found that when he shares his story, others often open up to him in return.
"It's as if I've given them permission to say what's on their heart. And if I've done that, I think I've already been successful," he said. "I think Nathaniel would be proud of what I'm doing. He's leading me."
Photo Courtesy of Denis Asselin/These shells mark the path of Camino de Santiago.
KidsPeace's Autism After-School Program is hosting an Applebee's Flapjack Fundraiser on Saturday morning at the restaurant at 2109 Motel Drive in Bethlehem. Come out between 8 and 10 to help raise money for the program.
Tickets are $5 per person and can be purchased from Alexis Harvey at email@example.com. All proceeds will be used to purchase new gym equipment and other curriculum materials.]]>
When Jennifer Clifton, of South Whitehall Township, was planning her birthday party for earlier this month, she decided to ask her friends to donate to the children at KidsPeace in lieu of giving her presents.
The response was overwhelming, with $150 and two boxes of books collected for children on the Orchard Hills campus. One of her friends, whose mom used to work at KidsPeace, even wrote a personal note to accompany her gift.
Jennifer's mom, Gina Clifton, said her daughter has a history of helping organizations such as Goodwill and Children with Diabetes, and she also volunteers at school.
"She enjoys helping others," Clifton said. "But it was just her idea. It was the children and families who attended her party who really helped."
Though she has never been to our campus, Jennifer and her family feel a connection here. When she was 3, she was with her father when they were in a bad car accident. A KidsPeace employee donated a carseat since hers could no longer be used.]]>
Team KidsPeace Kares will be participating in a walk for autism Saturday morning at the Lehigh Parkway in Allentown. The walk starts at 9:30 a.m.
If you would like to participate, register at www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/lehighvalley.
Can't make the walk, but still want to help the cause? Register online to donate to the team's goal.]]>
The Orioles donated 2,000 plastic Easter eggs filled with candy that will be tucked into baskets Sunday and hidden around campus for children in the residential program and the hospital.
KidsPeace has a relationship with the Orioles thanks to the generosity of manager Buck Showalter, and his wife Angela, who are avid supporters of the organization's mission "to give hope, help and healing to children, families and communities."
Other companies that contributed Easter candy to KidsPeace this year include Just Born in Bethlehem and a food bank in the Harrisburg area.
The speakeasy event featured Lehigh Valley pianist Dave Roth and West Coast standard singer Callie Cardamon performing hits of the 1920's. Cardamon volunteers for TeenCentral.Net and wrote the ballad, "Love is on the Way," for KidsPeace.
The crowd of approximately 125 people enjoyed food prepared by Gala Gourmet Catering and had the opportunity for a souvenir picture. The event raised more than $27,000.]]>
Some of you may have been a "friend" of KidsPeace in the past, but we have switched over to a new page and won't be updating the old one anymore. To find us at our new home, visit http://www.facebook.com/KidsPeace.org and "like" that page.
Share this with anyone else who would be interested in following our page. We look forward to interacting with you.
Schnecksville, PA – KidsPeace has earned The Joint Commission's Gold Seal of Approval™ for accreditation by
demonstrating compliance with The Joint Commission's national standards for health care quality and safety in
behavioral health care. The accreditation award, covering all KidsPeace's Pennsylvania programs recognizes dedication to compliance with The Joint Commission's state-of-the-art standards on a continuous basis.
KidsPeace underwent a rigorous on-site survey from August 15-17, 2011. A team of Joint Commission expert surveyors evaluated KidsPeace for compliance with standards of care specific to the needs of individuals served and families, including infection prevention and control, leadership and medication management. "In achieving Joint Commission accreditation, KidsPeace has demonstrated its commitment to the highest level of care for the people they serve," says Mary Cesare-Murphy, Ph.D., executive director, Behavioral Health Care Accreditation, The Joint Commission. "Behavioral Health accreditation is a voluntary process and I commend KidsPeace for successfully undertaking this challenge to elevate its standard of care and instill confidence in the community it serves."
"With Joint Commission accreditation, we are making a significant investment in quality on a day-to-day basis from the top down. Joint Commission accreditation provides us a framework to take our organization to the next level and helps create a culture of excellence," says William Isemann, President and CEO. "Achieving Joint Commission accreditation, for our organization, is a major step toward maintaining excellence and continually improving the care we provide."
The Joint Commission's behavioral health care standards address important functions relating to the care of individuals served and the management of behavioral health care organizations. The standards are developed in consultation with behavioral health care experts, providers, measurement experts, individuals served and their families.
Founded in 1951, The Joint Commission seeks to continuously improve health care for the public, in collaboration with
other stakeholders, by evaluating health care organizations and inspiring them to excel in providing safe and effective
care of the highest quality and value. The Joint Commission evaluates and accredits more than 18,000 health care
organizations and programs in the United States. The Joint Commission also provides certification of more than 1,700
disease-specific care programs, primary stroke centers, and health care staffing services. An independent, not-for-profit organization, The Joint Commission is the nation's oldest and largest standards-setting and accrediting body in health care. Learn more about The Joint Commission at www.jointcommission.org.
Orioles and Buck Showalter fans should mark their calendars for THURSDAY, JANUARY 19, 2012, at the Sports Legends Museum at Camden Yards in Baltimore. From 5:30 - 8:00 p.m., Orioles Manager Buck Showalter will be hosting a great evening that will include a program surrounding Showalter's experience managing the Orioles, as well as his outlook and plans for the upcoming season. Attendees of this cocktail reception and program will also participate in and an exclusive Q&A session and have time for photos with Buck. They will also receive admission to the museum and free parking. Proceeds benefit the Babe Ruth Birthplace Foundation and KidsPeace.
Orefield, PA. December 7, 2011 – Two charitable organizations that dedicate their efforts to helping kids have formed a partnership that will enrich the lives of deserving children and teach them important life lessons. Community Bike Works and KidsPeace are launching the inaugural "Community Bike Works at KidsPeace Earn a Bike" program at the Orefield, PA, campus. Selected boys and girls in KidsPeace residential programs will attend the three month program that will teach bicycle repair and maintenance, safety and teamwork. Each child who successfully completes the course will be given the bike he or she has fixed up, along with a helmet and a certificate of course completion.
Rob Scott, who is the Facilities and Recreation Supervisor at KidsPeace, read about Community Bike Works (CBW) on the Internet (www.communitybikeworks.org) and contacted Executive Director and founder Stefan Goslawski to see if the two nonprofits could work together. The more he learned, the more Rob believed that the program would be a great benefit to KidsPeace kids. "Last spring I took a few kids to attend classes at CBW in Allentown," Rob says. "They did really well and were thrilled to have earned their own bikes to take home with them when they left KidsPeace." There is a vocational aspect to the program that particularly excited Rob because the education department was able to obtain Title 1 funding, as well as a grant from Just Born to purchase supplies to run the program at the KidsPeace facility.
After that, Rob actively recruited KidsPeace associates as volunteers to start up the program on the KidsPeace residential campus in Orefield. Rob and the volunteers attended 12 weeks of classes at Community Bike Works and learned how to take bikes apart, repair them and put them back together. They also learned about Stefan's philosophy and the more subtle aspects of the program that help the kids learn life skills and develop strong work ethics.
According to Stefan, a retired teacher and bike shop owner, he founded Community Bike Works in 1994 after reading about a similar program that taught parents how to fix their kids' bikes and after receiving a letter from an elderly lady who urged him to teach Allentown kids important skills. With the assistance of the Allentown Conference of Churches, which helped him gain nonprofit status, Stefan launched the program.
Today, the 12 week program teaches students from the Allentown and Bethlehem School Districts at certain middle schools and at the organization's headquarters at 235 North Madison Street in Allentown's 18102. "It is the most enjoyable job I have ever had," Stefan says with a smile. The program currently works with around 250 kids a year, and Stefan expects that number to reach 350 in 2012. "We really need more volunteers in order to expand even more," Stefan adds. "It is hard because we need a 12-week commitment from our volunteers to facilitate one of our classes."
Additionally, Stefan has a group of enthusiastic volunteers from Cedar Crest and Muhlenberg Colleges who help the kids with their reading skills through one on one tutoring. "It is so exciting when the school districts tell us that kids we have taught and tutored have increased their reading levels by one to four grade levels and have improved their state test scores dramatically," Stefan reports. "We also teach our kids that working hard for something will be rewarding," Stefan points out. "They need to sign a contract, make and fulfill a commitment, help others in the class with their bikes, take pre and post-class tests, learn safety rules, write a thank you letter to the bike's donor and keep a journal in order to earn their bikes." According to Stefan, there is also a vocational skills development component to the program that teaches kids how to read manuals, use tools and do repair and maintenance work. These skills may help them secure a job when after they leave school.
Stefan Goslawski asks the community to donate bikes (20 inch BMX bikes are particularly needed) or funds, but his biggest need is for volunteers to work with the kids and help them learn skills and values that will last them a lifetime. Contact him at 610-434-1140 or firstname.lastname@example.com.
Rob Scott encourages donations of 24" to 26" mountain bikes to KidsPeace. Rob's number is 610-799-7487, or email him at firstname.lastname@example.com.]]>
Raheem Khawaja* was a troubled boy who came to KidsPeace in the fall of 2009. Raheem's family had emigrated from Pakistan shortly after his birth; he had no conscious memories of living in Pakistan and was grounded in American culture… skateboarding, cartoons and McDonald's. Raheem had done very well at his local elementary school, which was located within walking distance from his new home. His father walked him to school in the morning, and his mother was waiting at home for him when he returned afterwards. Raheem did well academically and had many friends. It seemed like middle school would be a smooth transition. However, problems started almost immediately in the fall of his sixth grade year. Raheem was suspended twice for fighting on the bus. His grades dropped, and he became moody and unhappy. His parents grew concerned. What was wrong with their son? When they asked him, he had no answers. His pediatrician assured them that the onset of puberty often produced such changes in behavior… this reassured them, for a time. Then, following another bus incident, Raheem was suspended for bringing a knife to school. The guidance counselor insisted that the parents take their son to the emergency room to obtain a psychiatric evaluation. It was then that Raheem was admitted to the KidsPeace Hospital for treatment.
Raheem was pleasant and cooperative during his stay. He followed the rules and did not exhibit any behavior problems. The Treatment Team had a difficult time understanding why this cheerful boy was having such a difficult time at school. The therapist gathered a comprehensive history of Raheem's experiences, and everything she was told appeared to support the story of a developmentally normal, healthy boy. Then she asked Raheem's parents about their own lives. Suddenly, the picture began to change. Mr. Khawaja's face grew troubled; his wife looked down at her hands entwined in her lap. In halting English, Mr. Khawaja began to talk about living in Pakistan during war. "We lost our home," he explained, "As many did. Raheem was born in the basement of a building that had been bombed. There was nowhere safe to go, and my wife couldn't travel in her condition. The neighbors helped us." The clinician asked gently, "Did you lose many people who you cared about?" Mrs. Khawaja began to cry. Her husband merely responded, "It was very bad. Ever since we were young. We came here and were very happy to be in the United States."
As the days went on, the clinician worked closely with the Khawaja family, and significant issues emerged. Living in a war zone where they feared for their lives, and the lives of their loved ones, every day had emotionally traumatized Raheem's parents. Their experiences of terror, loss and catastrophe had shaped the way they responded to the world. They thought that all of these problems would disappear when they came to America, and what they found was that the fear and panic that they'd learned to live with came to America with them. Raheem's parents lived every day in fear and he, living with them, did as well.
The events that this family experienced create a tragically familiar story to many of the professionals who work in mental health treatment. A traumatic event is defined as a single experience, or an enduring series of events, that completely overwhelm the individual's ability to cope¹. Traumatic events include some of the experiences that we least like to think about: Violent crime, natural disasters, accidents, wars, community violence, child physical and sexual abuse, bullying and domestic violence. While there are many different situations that can be considered traumatic, these events have one thing in common: They are events that cause overwhelming feelings of fear, helplessness and/or horror.² Think of the victims of concentration camps; the earthquake survivors in Japan; Viet Nam veterans.
We are only beginning to understand the role that traumatic events play in the development of mental health problems, substance abuse and disruptive and dangerous behaviors. Severe and chronic trauma may lead to physical changes inside the brain and to the brain's chemistry, which damage the person's ability to adequately cope with stress. This is particularly problematic for children. Children who have witnessed or have been victims of interpersonal and community violence, have been neglected or have suffered terrible losses often present with a wide range of emotional and behavioral problems ³.
Children, like Raheem, can also suffer from secondary or "vicarious" trauma. This form of traumatization impacts people who are in a close relationship with traumatized individuals. Raheem's parents' experience of terror and loss had resulted in changes in their entire approach to life. Mrs. Khawaja in particular was afraid to leave the house. Moreover, she was terrified to let her child out of her sight and would panic when she put him on the bus in the morning. Mr. Khawaja was working two jobs and feared that he could at any time lose his jobs, and his family would again be homeless. Raheem told the clinician that he wished he didn't have to go to school; he believed that he was safer at home, with his parents, and that they needed his help.
What is significant about Raheem's situation is that the clinician asked this family about their history of trauma. In many cases, such information is overlooked as frustrated parents, overworked professionals and harried teachers focus on more immediate approaches to behavior. Often, the child is punished by suspensions or expulsions; various medications are tried without a thorough understanding of the problem; or the behavior is minimized or ignored until it becomes a significant threat to the safety of the community.
At KidsPeace, we recognize the role of trauma in the lives of the children and families who come to us for help, and we treat the entire family. The Sanctuary® Model, which is being implemented as the model of care at KidsPeace, provides the tools and the theory to help us to create a culture of safety, empowerment and positive change. This model teaches that, in order to recover from trauma, people need to live in a community of supportive people who are committed to their growth and healing. While KidsPeace strives to provide that for our children, we recognize that the best place for a troubled child to heal is in a safe, supportive family; and the best place for a troubled family to heal is within a safe, supportive community. KidsPeace is committed to using the Sanctuary Model, its theories and its tools to help our community become one where children and families, like the Khawajas, find peace.
For more information on the Sanctuary Model, visit the site http://www.sanctuaryweb.com or contact the author at 800-25PEACE.
¹Van Der Kolk, B.; McFarlane, A.; Weisaeth, L., Eds. (1996). Traumatic Stress: The Effects of Overwhelming Experience on Mind, Body, and Society. New York: Guilford Press.
²Bloom, S. L. (1997) Creating Sanctuary: Toward the Evolution of Sane Societies. (1997). New York: Routledge.
³Farragher, B. and Yanosy, S. (2005). Creating A Trauma-Sensitive Culture In Residential Treatment. Therapeutic Community: The International Journal for Therapeutic and Supportive Organizations 26(1): 97-113.
Leslie Tenbroeck, LCSW, Sanctuary® Coordinator and Clinical Instructor at KidsPeace, has over 20 years experience working in the mental health field with a broad range of direct-care experience with children and families. Ms. Tenbroeck has extensive experience in crisis management; she has taught courses in Handle with Care and Professional Crisis Management and is currently a certified instructor for Life Space Crisis Intervention. She has taught courses in conjunction with the American Health institute, the Penn State Cooperative Extension and Norwich University. She is affiliated with the Sanctuary Institute and is an advocate for trauma-informed care. For the past nine years, she has been teaching and assisting in developing curriculum for direct care staff in multiple areas of instruction related to children's developmental and behavioral health, including the treatment of self-injurious behavior, therapeutic relationships, group therapy and trauma treatment. She is currently the designated coordinator for the implementation of the Sanctuary Model at KidsPeace. Ms. Tenbroeck lives in Allentown, PA, with her husband and two sons.
The effects of trauma in children may linger and manifest themselves physically and behaviorally. Will Isemann, President of CEO of KidsPeace, and the clinical experts at KidsPeace have compiled a list of tips to help parents talk to their children about what has happened to upset them and look out for future signs of distress:
1. Listen to children. Allow them to express their concerns and fears.
2. Regardless of age, the most important issue is to reassure children of safety and security. Tell children that you, their school, their friends and their communities are all focused on their safety and that those around them are working for their safety. Have discussions about those dedicated to protecting them like police, teachers and other school officials, neighbors, their government and all concerned adults throughout the community.
3. When discussing the events with younger children, the amount of information shared should be limited to some basic facts. Use words meaningful to them (not words like massive devastation or sniper, etc.). Share with them that weather or geological shifting has caused a specific disastrous event in a certain part of the world or some bad people have used violence to hurt innocent people in the area. Discuss that we don't know exactly why this has happened, but a natural disaster or violence has occurred. Do not go into specific details.
4. School-aged children will ask, "Can this happen here, or to me?" Do not lie to children. Share that it is unlikely that anything like this will happen to them or in their community. Then reiterate how the community is focused on working to keep everyone safe in the community.
5. Parents, caregivers and teachers should be cautious of permitting young children to watch news or listen to radio that is discussing or showing mass death or carnage. It is too difficult for most of them to process. Personal discussions are the best way to share information with this group. Also, plan to discuss this many times over the coming weeks.
6. When discussing the events with preteens and teens, more detail is appropriate, and many will already have seen news broadcasts. Do not let them focus too much on graphic details. Rather, elicit their feelings and concerns and focus your discussions on what they share with you. Be careful of how much media they are exposed to. Talk directly with them about the tragedy and answer their questions truthfully.
7. Although this group is more mature, do not forget to reassure them of their safety and your efforts to protect them. Regardless of age, kids must hear this message.
8. Be on the lookout for physical symptoms of anxiety that children may demonstrate. They may be a sign that a child, although not directly discussing the tragedy, is very troubled by the recent events. Talk more directly to children who exhibit these signs:
• Headaches
• Excessive worry
• Stomach aches
• Increased arguing
• Back aches
• Irritability
• Trouble sleeping or eating
• Loss of concentration
• Nightmares
• Withdrawal
• Refusal to go to school
• Clinging behavior.
9. Parents and caregivers should often reassure children that they will be protected and kept safe. During tragedies like these, words expressing safety and reassurance with concrete plans should be discussed and agreed upon within the family and can provide the most comfort to children and teens.
10. If you are concerned about your children and their reaction to this or any tragedy, talk directly with their school counselor, family doctor, local mental health professional or have your older children visit KidsPeace's teen help website, www.TeenCentral.Net, which provides anonymous and clinically screened help and resources for teen problems before they become overwhelming.|
In the last fifteen years, a number of large-scale attacks at schools have made the issue of school violence a prominent concern across the United States. Despite the massive attention focused on this issue, there are widespread misconceptions about school violence.
Frequency of Homicides at School
Perhaps the biggest misconception is that school shootings and other types of school-related homicides are common events and/or increasing in frequency. The reality is much different. According to Dr. Dewey Cornell, in his book School Violence: Fears Versus Facts, "the average school can expect a student-perpetrated homicide about once every 13,870 years." In other words, most schools will not have a homicide within our lifetimes, or for many lifetimes to come.
The peak academic year for school homicides was 1992-1993. Since then, the rate has decreased significantly. The Youth Violence Project at the University of Virginia recorded 42 homicides on school grounds in 1992-1993. In the ten years from 2000 through 2009, the average was 6.3 deaths — a dramatic reduction. And, in both 2008 and 2009, there was only one homicide on school grounds each year.
What accounts for this decline? It is impossible to say for sure, but it is noteworthy that the turning point in the homicide rate occurred between the years 1999 and 2000. From 1992 to 1999, the school homicide rate averaged 30 deaths per year. From 2000 to 2009, it averaged 6 deaths per year. Perhaps this reflects the impact of the attack at Columbine High School that occurred on April 20, 1999. Although there had been large-scale rampage attacks at schools prior to Columbine, it was this attack that really made school safety a prominent national concern.
If this hypothesis is correct, it suggests that schools' efforts to increase safety made a difference. Or perhaps students became more sensitive to warning signs of violence and started reporting their concerns to parents, teachers, counselors or administrators. Whatever the reason, the data clearly indicate that school-related homicides have become very rare events. On average, school is the safest place children can be.
It is hoped that the current economic climate does not result in reduced funding for schools. Budget cuts could potentially result in an increased risk of violence. Cuts to faculty, counselors, security officers and others might adversely affect the ability of schools to maintain the level of safety that has been established.
Who Commits School Shootings and Why?
Certainly, school homicides can take many forms including beatings, stabbings and shootings, but it is rampage school shootings that have received an overwhelming amount of attention. These attacks involve a student going to his own school and opening fire — generally at random people. Who commits such an act? Initially, researchers focused on identifying a profile of rampage school shooters. This effort, however, missed the fact that school shooters are not a homogeneous group.
Nonetheless, there are common misconceptions about school shooters. People often think school shooters are loners, victims of terrible mistreatment and detached from their schools and communities. It is also commonly thought that school shootings are acts of retaliation against specific people who tormented the shooters. In most cases, however, school shooters do not fit this description.
In almost every case, school shooters have friends. In most cases, they are not victims of bullying. They are often involved in activities at school and in the community. And they rarely target anyone who picked on them. So who are school shooters?
As explained in my book, Why Kids Kill: Inside the Minds of School Shooters, the perpetrators of rampage school attacks fall into three categories:
• Psychopathic shooters. These are youths who are narcissistic and sadistic. They have deficits in the ability to experience empathy, guilt and remorse. They reject traditional values and morality and meet their own needs at the expense of others.
• Psychotic school shooters. These youths experience hallucinations and delusions. The most common type of delusion can be described as paranoid, although some of them also have delusions of grandeur. In addition to hallucinations and delusions, these youths have significant social and emotional deficits.
• Traumatized shooters. Whereas the psychopathic and psychotic shooters come from intact families with well-functioning parents, the traumatized shooters come from broken homes and dysfunctional families. They have parents with criminal histories. They have parents who abuse drugs and alcohol. These youths are victims of emotional abuse, physical abuse and sometimes sexual abuse. They bounce around from one relative's home to another, sometimes ending up in multiple foster homes. Their lives are unstable and unsafe year after year, and eventually they reach the breaking point.
The fact that someone is psychopathic, psychotic or traumatized, however, does not mean he is destined to be a killer. In fact, most people in these three categories are not violent. The categories help us to understand the types of youth who commit school shootings, but the categories are not complete explanations. There are always other factors involved that shape the behavior of the perpetrators.
But if the attacks are not retaliation against bullies, what is the motivation? Motivations vary across shooters and, even within one shooter, there can be multiple factors driving him to murder. Sometimes shooters are seeking fame and to establish powerful identities for themselves. They may be lashing out at the world, unleashing pent-up rage and frustration. They may attack the students they envy — those kids who seem to have everything going for them. The shooters may be paranoid and believe their lives are in danger; thus, they lash out at others in an act that they conceive of as self-defense. They may hear voices telling them to kill people. Occasionally, there is a specific target, but this is not necessarily a bully. It is perhaps more likely to be a girl who rejected the shooter or a principal who symbolically represents the school.
What works in prevention?
When people think about preventing school shootings, they often think in terms of physical security measures: ID badges, video cameras, metal detectors and so on. Though these measures serve a variety of purposes, they do not stop school shootings. Rampage attacks have occurred at schools with metal detectors and even armed security guards. By the time a student enters a building, armed and willing to die, physical security measures will not stop the attack. Similarly, lockdown drills may help to minimize casualties during an attack, but they do not prevent an attack.
What can be done then to prevent school shootings or other school-related homicides? The best approach is to focus on educating students on the warning signs of violence. It is, of course, important to educate faculty and staff as well, but students are really the eyes and ears of a school. If someone is planning a violent attack, other students are most likely the ones who will know about it. If they are trained in what to look for and how to report their concerns, school shootings can be stopped entirely. In fact, the majority of foiled attacks have been stopped because students came forward with what they knew.|
Dr. Langman has worked with children and adolescents for over twenty years. He spent 12 years at KidsPeace and now consults to the organization. Dr. Langman's book, Why Kids Kill: Inside the Minds of School Shooters, was named an Outstanding Academic Title of 2009 by the American Library Association. It has been translated into German and Finnish and is forthcoming in Dutch. He has been interviewed over one hundred times by media outlets in the United States, Canada, Europe, Australia and the Middle East. He has appeared on CBS-TV, CNN, Fox and the BBC. His research on school shooters has been featured in articles carried by The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Los Angeles Times, Forbes, USA Today, Education Week, Junior Scholastic, MSNBC, Yahoo News, and thousands of other news outlets. Dr. Langman writes a blog for Psychology Today. His research on school shooters has been cited in congressional testimony on Capitol Hill. His website is www.schoolshooters.info. Dr. Langman received his B.A. in psychology from Clark University, his M.A. in counseling psychology from Lesley College, and his Ph.D. in counseling psychology from Lehigh University. In addition to being a psychologist, Dr. Langman is a poet and playwright.
Historically, the theme of stories told by those who have had encounters with conduct disordered kids, or the programs that house them, have all started with anger, which then led to aggression, which climaxed in violence. These stories pretty much have the same plot, one episode after another. Eventually, people tired of making up excuses for the vast population of kids who are misunderstood and labeled them "Conduct Kids."
Today, the Conduct Kid still exists; he is your brother, cousin and friend. He is every teenaged kid opposed to the norms of society or the directives given by a parent and/or seeks to evade the long arms of the law. He has the potential to be wise but chooses to be misunderstood. He has the potential to be loved but chooses to be distant. He chooses nothing because, oftentimes, he has never been given a choice – or at least that's how he sees it. >>Read More
This article appeared in the Spring/Summer Issue of Healing Magazine®. Download of PDF of the issue by clicking here.]]>
KidsPeace, the 130-Year Old Children's Charity, Becomes Part of the Ithaca Community
to ProvideFoster Care to Kids with Special Needs
KidsPeace, the 130-year old children's charity, has opened its doors in Ithaca to help provide foster care to local children striving to overcome crises in their young lives. The new program will allow KidsPeace to serve children in foster homes in the local community, giving them an opportunity to stay near familiar surroundings, rather than moving farther away from home.
On Tuesday, November 8, KidsPeace hosted an Open House at its new office location, 179 Graham Road in Ithaca. Prospective foster parents, the local county Departments of Social Services, other local child service organizations and local businesses were in attendance.
Representatives from the offices of U.S. Congressman Maurice Hinchey and U.S. Senator Kirsten Gillibrand were in attendance. The start-up of the program is being funded by a federal grant secured by Representative Hinchey. "KidsPeace therapeutic foster care program is going to make a difference in the lives of countless children throughout the region," said Hinchey. "I was pleased to secure $250,000 in federal funding to help bring this program to Ithaca, because of the numerous foster children in need of the emotional and behavioral support this program will provide. Today's grand opening is only the beginning, and I look forward to seeing the work they do in the years ahead." Senator Gillibrand sent a letter of congratulations, which was read aloud during the presentation.
The special guest speaker for the event was the Honorable David M. Brockway, Acting Justice for Chemung County Supreme Court and Judge for Chemung County Family Court. Justice Brockway gave a special interactive presentation on "Judicial Perspectives: What Foster Parents and Caseworkers Should Know," sharing his knowledge and vast experience, which foster parents and professionals alike found helpful and informative.
The KidsPeace Ithaca Foster Care & Community Program, the sixth foster care and community programs location operated by KidsPeace in the state of New York and the 36th of its kind in eight states and the District of Columbia, offers a specialized form of foster care known as therapeutic foster care programming, which provides caring, well trained, licensed foster homes and families to children with emotional and mental health needs who have great potential to be successful within their communities. The Ithaca program will recruit and certify local foster homes for children, providing the home- and community-based services they so desperately need to feel safe, heal from their emotional scars and experience a sense of home, family and community. A supportive, caring foster family can give youth in crisis a sanctuary and can prevent cycles of their past from determining the course of their future.
Understanding the effects of trauma experienced by the youth we serve, and recognizing the need to address these effects, KidsPeace has developed a Model of Care based on the studies and research around promoting resilience in youth. Toward this end, KidsPeace has been an integral participant in the development of a program called "Together Facing the Challenge," participating in two NIMH- (National Institute for Mental Health) funded studies conducted by the Behavioral Health research staff at Duke University. "Together Facing the Challenge" is a training curriculum and program designed to further enhance therapeutic foster care and includes effective community-based treatment practices for youth with emotional and behavioral disorders. This skills curriculum was recently deemed a highly esteemed "Evidence Based Practice" through the California Evidence-Based Clearing House.
The KidsPeace Ithaca Foster Care and Community Programs will benefit from the resources and expertise of the nearly 130-year history of KidsPeace. KidsPeace, established in 1882, is a time-tested children's charity dedicated to helping children overcome crises in their young lives. KidsPeace, whose mission is to provide hope, help and healing to children, families and communities, operates programs in ten states and the District of Columbia with a continuum that includes community-based programming, therapeutic foster care (36 locations), web-based counseling, residential treatment, educational services and inpatient psychiatric hospitalization.
To learn more about becoming a foster parent, please contact:
KidsPeace has received a $570,000 grant from the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP) and the Department of Defense to provide mentoring and support to children and teens whose parent(s) are deployed in the US Military. This program will be offered through TeenCentral.Net and ParentCentral.Net to allow parents and kids to openly and anonymously discuss their fears, emotional struggles and insecurities about deployment of a parent and to understand that they are not alone and that many caring professionals and peers are there for them and willing to help them.
TeenCentral.Net (TC.N) is a website launched in 1998 by KidsPeace to help teens with their problems, concerns and issues. It is free, anonymous and safe. Receiving between 1.5 and 2 million hits per month, TeenCentral.Net has registered more than 479,000 young people as members since its inception. The site, designed and maintained by KidsPeace youth psychology and counseling experts, provides responses to teens within 24 hours and enables them to post stories about their experiences and share responses to stories in a "peer mentoring" atmosphere. No stories are posted before being reviewed and approved by a Master's or Doctorate level Clinician.
ParentCentral.Net (PC.N) is structured similarly for parents and provides counseling, peer mentoring and valuable information to parents seeking advice. These free sites do not accept advertising. The two sites are directed by Dr. Julius Licata, who will lead this new program.
"KidsPeace is extremely honored to be selected as a recipient of this critical funding for our efforts to support the children of our military," KidsPeace President and CEO Will Isemann said. He announced that the grant will fund new sub-sections of the two websites -- TeenCentral.Net and ParentCentral.Net -- to establish the e-mentoring program (with components of team mentoring and group mentoring) for youth of military families and their parents. The initiative will address the emotional needs of youth whose parents are deployed and provide platforms for youth and their parents to openly communicate with e-mentors and with each other in an effort to mitigate emotional struggles and avoid juvenile justice behaviors related to a parent's deployment.
The Reason for the Grant
There are nearly 1.5 million active duty U.S. soldiers, an additional 850,000 in reserves and approximately 1.2 million children of military personnel. Children in military families experience emotional and behavioral difficulties and symptoms of anxiety above national averages. Unfortunately, the needs of teenagers whose parents are in the military and/or deployed often go unrecognized.
"Children in military families experience unique challenges that other children may never face, such as dealing with their deployed parents' extended absence and anxiety over their safe return," said Jeff Slowikowski, OJJDP Acting Administrator, in announcing the awards in Washington, DC. "Military families will now have a listening ear and caring support during a difficult time in their lives."
The award is in the form of a three-year grant. Work on the new sub-sites is expected to begin soon, with some components completed by late 2012.
KidsPeace is one of 19 Pennsylvania organizations that have been awarded grants from the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board (PLCB) to support education campaigns aimed at preventing underage alcohol use. This $15,000 award was announced by Will Isemann, KidsPeace President & CEO. "KidsPeace is very honored to be selected as a recipient of this critical funding to assist in our efforts toward prevention of underage and dangerous alcohol use," Isemann said. The grant will fund a new sub-section on TeenCentral.Net, a website that is operated by KidsPeace and directed by Dr. Julius Licata to assist teen members with issues, questions and information needs. This new page will address the dangers of alcohol use by teens and provide online counseling to teens who send posts for assistance.
The Way it Works
TeenCentral.Net has been helping teens since 1998 and has membership of more than half a million teens. To make use of TeenCentral.Net, teens join and make up a screen name that in no way identifies them. They post their questions to the site, and specially trained counselors review each post before it is made visible to other members. Within 24 hours, the teens receive a response from a counselor that includes empathetic acknowledgement of the problems as described and recommendations of how the teen can deal with the situation. Other teens can write in with encouragement and descriptions of how they faced similar issues. These posts are also screened by counselors, and if deemed appropriate, they are posted following the initial question.
The PLCB also awarded grants to 27 law-enforcement agencies, 26 college and universities and five school districts for underage drinking prevention efforts as part of its 2011-2012 Alcohol Education Grant Program.
"Alcohol is the most commonly used drug among young people, according to a recent study released by the Centers for Disease Control," said Jerry Waters Sr., director of the PLCB's Office of Regulatory Affairs. "We know underage drinking has a tremendous impact on youth, families and communities throughout Pennsylvania, and we are committed to providing the resources necessary to help children make better choices."
Developed in 1998, TeenCentral.Net is the groundbreaking, problem-solving website that offers teens a safe and confidential environment to share their questions and concerns about everyday challenges they face. The site, designed and maintained by KidsPeace youth psychology and counseling experts, provides responses to teens within 24 hours and enables teens to post stories about their experiences and share responses to stories in a "peer mentoring" atmosphere. Receiving between 1.5 and 2 million hits per month, TeenCentral.Net has registered more than 479,000 young people since its inception. The free site does not accept advertising and is anonymous for all users.
Highlights of the proposed TeenCentral.Net Alcohol Awareness Sub-Section will include:
➢ An interactive section will be created to demonstrate the effect of a specific amount of alcohol. Teens will be able to enter a number of drinks and the type of alcohol (beer, liquor-based mixed drinks, wine, shots, wine coolers, etc.) and determine intoxication levels.
➢ Teens may access the site 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and receive counseling within 24 hours of their submission. The site will offer an additional benefit to youth, providing them with responses to the thoughts they have written and offering the opportunity to read about other teens who face similar challenges with respect to peer pressure, their use and abuse of alcohol and drinking and driving.
➢ The TeenCentral.Net Alcohol Awareness Sub-Section will offer specific resources for adolescents, providing distinct and individualized support, as well as ongoing tools that they can utilize.
The new section of TeenCentral.Net is projected for completion in early 2012.
The Kingston, NY FCCP office will be hosting its 2nd Annual Fundraiser on October 10, 2011 at noon. The golf tournament and dinner banquet will be held at Blackhead Mountain in Round Top, NY, to raise funds for our Children's Resilience Fund to be used toward activities and necessities to build inner strength and self esteem, in our foster children. These activities include, but not limited to, sports, summer and arts camps, musical instruments, enrichment activities, independent living skills-building activities and other "everyday items" all children should have. The event will be a great opportunity for golfers to get one last game in before the end of the season and to have the opportunity to golf one of the most beautiful courses in the Hudson Valley. Anyone interested in learning additional information can contact the Kingston, NY office. The $85 registration fee includes lunch, dinner, greens fees and golf cart. There will be great raffle prizes, and a wonderful time will be had by all.
Last year's event was a huge success and allowed the kids in our program to attend dance camps, take driving lessons, get senior portraits taken and many other things we were not able to do in the past. Please contact KidsPeace Foster Care, 200 Aaron Court, Kingston, NY 12401. Phone: 845-331-1815.
Fashions from Chico's will be featured at the 25th Annual KidsPeace Auxiliary Fashion Show and Luncheon Sept. 21st, from 11 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. at the Bethlehem Best Western, Rts. 512 and 22.
Since 1948, the KidsPeace Auxiliary has raised funds to support the work of providing hope, help and healing to children, families and communities. Originally founded as the Wiley House Ladies Auxiliary, the KidsPeace Auxiliary has assisted thousands of children for more than 60 years.
Tickets for the event are $30 and can be reserved by calling Evelyn Zumas at 610-868-5743. All proceeds for the 2011 show will benefit KidsPeace Autism programs.
Capitol area residents are invited to gather Thursday, Sept. 22, to give local children in need a taste of kindness. A special fundraiser and free wine-tasting at Corridor Fine Wine in Laurel will benefit hundreds of Washington, DC, and Maryland children in foster care and adoption programs operated by the national children's charity KidsPeace.
The public is invited between 6 and 9 p.m. to enjoy the evening's "Around the World Wine Tasting," featuring wines and champagnes from five countries. The tasting is free and 30 percent of all "Winery Direct" sales will be donated to KidsPeace.
"This event is for people with a thirst--not just for the finer things in life--but for helping children, many of whom don't have the basics, such as a home and a loving adult to guide their way," said Steve Faith, Vice President of Wine Operations for Corridor Fine Wine.
"It's not every day you get to take a trip around the globe," Diane Sancilio, Regional Manager of Foster Care and Community Programs. "And at the same time, do a world of good to benefit our children."
Event Detail: Sixth Annual Wine Tasting
Sept. 22 from 6-9 p.m.
Corridor Fine Wine
3321 Corridor Marketplace
Laurel, MD 20724
Directions: (301) 617-8507
Two Carroll County civic and community leaders have been named to the KidsPeace Georgia Board of Associates. The new members are Cynthia Langley, of Burwell, and Aaron McWhorter of Whitesburg.
KidsPeace Georgia operates a residential treatment center in Bowdon that serves children with behavioral health issues and also offers therapeutic outpatient services. According to Dick Tisinger, chair of the Board of Associates, Langley and McWhorter bring special skills to the group.
"We are honored to have such high caliber individuals join in our efforts here in Georgia," said Tisinger, attorney with Tisinger Vance. "Both Cynthia and Aaron have already made tremendous contributions with other organizations and we are thrilled that they are lending their talents to our efforts for KidsPeace as well."
Langley serves as coordinator for the Carroll County Juvenile Wellness Court and has worked for the Department of Juvenile Justice for 17 years. A graduate of Auburn University with a BA in social work, Langley also holds a master's degree in public administration from West Georgia College.
Her community volunteer efforts have included serving as chair of the board of directors for the Live Oaks Children's Shelter, a volunteer trainer for the Children and Youth Coordinating Council's Juvenile Justice Training Network and for Carroll County's Jumpstart program. A volunteer with the Carroll County Mediation Center, she also is a member of the board of directors of the Georgia Sheriff Youth Homes Pineland Campus, served on the school council at Jonesville Middle School and is a member of the Auburn Alumni Association and the Auburn University Parent Association.
Cynthia is married to Terry E. Langley and they have two daughters, Hannah and Billie, both of whom are attending college.
McWhorter is the owner and president of North Georgia Turf, Inc. of Whitesburg. A native of Heard County, McWhorter grew up on his parents' dairy farm. He retuned to work there after graduating from West Georgia College with a BA degree in history and spending a few years teaching in Barnesville. In 1985 he launched his turf grass company, starting with 25 acres of Bermuda grass. NG Turf has grown to approximately 2,000 acres with farm locations in Whitesburg, Franklin, Clarkesville, Calhoun and Perry. In 1991 McWhorter incorporated a second company, Sports Turf Inc., to meet the growing athletic field construction business in the region. High profile clients have included the Atlanta Falcons training facility, Auburn Tigers, University of Alabama, Atlanta Public Schools and the 1996 Olympic Softball facility.
McWhorter serves on the boards for the Georgia Department of Natural Resources, the Georgia Crop Improvement Association, the Sports Turf Managers Association, the Georgia Board of General Contractors, the Georgia Water Advisory Committee, the Georgia Middle Chattahoochee Regional Water Council, the Carroll County Water Authority and the Urban Agriculture Council. He and his wife, Linda, are the parents of three children, Mark, Merett and Natalie, and four grandchildren.
KidsPeace Baltimore Foster Care 5K Trick or Trot to be Hosted by Angela and Buck Showalter
Anticipation is building as KidsPeace Foster Care in Baltimore fine-tunes plans for the Second Annual 5K Run/Walk on Saturday, October 29, 2011 through the neighborhood of Canton and Patterson Park. Click here to register online. The hosts of this fundraiser are Angela and Buck Showalter. They are enthusiastic supporters of KidsPeace foster care efforts to successfully place foster children and teens with carefully matched families.
The aptly named "Trick or Trot" race promises to be a wonderful family (and that includes pets) event with features that include:
• The first 400 registered runners will receive an Under Armour race t-shirt.
• Fantastic gift certificates for top runners and age group winners.
• Food and Halloween fun following the run/walk in O'Donnell Square with the Oriole Bird and the Chick-fil-A cow.
• Everyone is encouraged to dress for Halloween, and prizes will be given for best individual, family and pet costumes.
• Register as a team and raise funds for foster care youth; the top 3 teams that raise the most money win awesome team prizes like tickets to a 2012 Orioles game, a Wine Tasting for 20 or a large bar tab to a great Baltimore watering hole!
• Be a "Snooze Button Runner"; if you are not able to attend, "run" from the convenience of your bedroom.
• Attend a pre-race party on the Square Friday, October 28, where you can pick up your race packet, have a Natty Boh, listen to some great local music and enjoy the restaurants and shops on the Square.
• Every registrant will be entered into a drawing for prizes, with winners being selected at the awards ceremony after the race(must be present to win).
• There will be Trick or Treating and face painting for the kids courtesy of O'Donnell Square businesses
• Parking will be on streets surrounding DuBurns Arena and O'Donnell Square
Company and individual sponsors and volunteers will be very welcome. Please spread the word at work and home that every contribution and effort will directly benefit KidsPeace Foster Care and Community Programs of Maryland and help raise awareness and funds for youth in foster care in Maryland.
According to Program Director Diane Sancilio, last year's event was a huge success, raising more than $25,000 in cash and from in-kind donations and sponsorships from businesses in the O'Donnell Square area. "Business owners arrived at the finish lines with their families to provide crafts for the children, food, beverages and even electricity for the speaker system from one enthusiastic restaurant. All of the merchants and volunteers truly embraced the race/walk and the foster children KidsPeace serves."
For more information, to volunteer or to become a sponsor, please contact Gina Seyfried (410) 964-9329 or firstname.lastname@example.com.
On Saturday, August 20, KidsPeace officially received a generous grant from the Verizon Wireless HopeLine Program and the Verizon Foundation to fund a new anti-bullying section on TeenCentral.Net. The check was presented during KidsPeace's 14th Annual Soccer Invitational, which was sponsored by Verizon Wireless to benefit TeenCentral.Net as well. Mario Turco, President of the Philadelphia Tri-State Region of Verizon Wireless, presented a $20,000 check to KidsPeace CEO and President Will Isemann and Director of TC.N and PC.N Dr. Julius Licata. Some 80 teams competed during the tournament, and all received information about TeenCentral.Net in their team packets.
Bullying is a serious problem that affects teens from every part of the world and is growing at alarming rates. The leadership at Verizon Wireless realizes that bullying is reaching epidemic proportions and chose TeenCentral.Net to reach out to the teens of the world to let them know that they are not alone and can receive help, counseling and information from the site to support them and help them cope with bullying by other teens at school, in their neighborhoods and in cyberspace. The $20,000 will fund the development of a comprehensive section of TeenCentral.Net to address bullying and its dangerous consequences.
Verizon Wireless has also donated funds to continue their support of the TeenCentral.Net Domestic Violence section on TeenCentral.Net.
Mario Turco, President of the Philadelphia Tri-State Region of Verizon Wireless,
presents check to Dr. Julius Licata and Will Iseman
About TeenCentral.Net
TeenCentral.Net is KidsPeace's award-winning website for teens. It is anonymous and free, and is a safe site where teens can write in with their questions and issues and receive advice from Master's and PhD level counselors within 24 hours. More than half a million teens are members of TeenCentral.Net where they "log in and work it out" about any topic. The site format ensures that all posts by teens are reviewed and approved by our counselors, and responding posts from other teens are screened before being published as well.
In addition to teen posts, TeenCentral.Net also contains pages that address important topics for teens such as domestic and dating abuse, weight issues, smoking cessation, books of interest to teens and news. Additionally, TeenCentral.Net contains stories from celebrities in sports and entertainment who experienced and overcame similar issues when they were teens.
Earlier this year, KidsPeace launched ParentCentral.Net to help parents deal with the issues of raising children in today's world. Similar to TeenCentral.Net, ParentCentral.Net offers educational information and replies to posts by parents within 24 hours. The Bullying section on TeenCentral.Net will also be accessible to members of ParentCentral.Net, helping parents recognize the signs that their children are being bullied or bullying other youth.
The public is invited to celebrate the annual harvest of the Maine garlic crop at the 13th Annual MDI Garlic Festival Saturday, Sept. 17th from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the Smuggler's Den Campground, Southwest Harbor. Presented by Nostrano, owned and operated by chef Frank Pendola, the event will feature garlic dish tastings from numerous local restaurants, a farmers' market, garlic growers, live music, and more.
In the fall of 1998, Pendola and a few of his friends gathered to enjoy a variety of foods cooked with garlic. They smoked meats and made "Garlic Festival" t-shirts. The following year, the chef and his friends cooked for 100 people, and 350 friends and neighbors showed up. Since then, the festival has grown and has raised thousands of dollars for local nonprofits.
"Life is good," says Pendola. "I've been blessed and it's time to give back. This festival is a perfect way to bring my chef friends together and put on a good show of our specialties for the public to sample – all for a great cause."
Chris Sylvester, Admissions Manager and Client Services Representative for the KidsPeace Graham Lake Campus, is grateful to the local chef and his dedication in organizing this festival.
"Frank has inspired others to become involved in this event and is tireless in his time and energy spent to make this a success. KidsPeace is extremely grateful to be the selected charity to benefit from this festival."
Sylvester explained that the proceeds will benefit the Autism program that provides treatment to manage mental health issues and teach functional living skills to improve the quality of life for local children. The Graham Lake residential and day treatment programs serve from 25-30 children at any given time.
Event sponsors include: WNSX 97.7 FM, Smuggler's Den Campground, Darling's AutoMall, Granville Rental, Subway, Clarke's Portable Toilets, Time Warner Cable, Maine Camp Outfitters, United Bikers of Maine, Keybank, CTI, Trenton Flooring, Annie's Pride Farm, Pepper's Pub, Sylvia's Café, Ellsworth Chiropractic, Main Street Auto Care and Hale and Hamlin, LLC.
For information on sponsorship opportunities or ticket information, visit www.nostrano.com.
The KidsPeace Foster Care office in Ithaca, NY, has been very fortunate to be the focus of a month-long fundraiser by Buffalo Wild Wings Restaurant in Ithaca. Every Wednesday in August, KidsPeace has been distributing information about the foster care program to customers. There is a table at the entrance staffed by KidsPeace Foster Care employees, and KidsPeace posters and balloons adorn the restaurant. This is a wonderful source for recruiting potential foster parents and educating the community about the mission of KidsPeace Foster Care.
As part of the promotion, each time a customer turns in a KidsPeace "ticket" as they pay their bill, Buffalo Wild Wings is donating a percentage of that sale to KidsPeace. If anyone forgets to hand in a ticket, the restaurant staff has been wonderful about reminding them to ensure that KidsPeace receives a share of the total sale. It has been a great introduction to the community, thanks to Family Resource Specialist Jo Ann Myer-Foland and her son Mark who works at Buffalo Wild Wings.
Additionally, Buffalo Wild Wings has donated items including bottles of their famous wing sauce to go into a basket that will be raffled off on August 31. There are still two Wednesdays left to sample the delicious wings and contribute to KidsPeace Foster Care. The restaurant is located at 410 Elmira Road in Ithaca.
KidsPeace is very excited that Buffalo Wild Wings will be holding a similar fundraiser for KidsPeace Foster Care in Elmira soon and at another site later in the fall.
KidsPeace is very grateful to Buffalo Wild Wings Restaurants for their kindness and assistance to the children of Ithaca who are waiting for a loving foster home.
Visit Soccer Tournament August 20-21
KidsPeace has locations in Pennsylvania, Indiana, Georgia, Maine, Minnesota, North Carolina, New York, Nevada, Maryland, Virginia and the District of Columbia, some small and some large. The Orchard Hills Campus in Orefield, PA, is the largest, set on 262 wooded acres in a rural setting. This location houses the KidsPeace Psychiatric Hospital and several residential centers for the care of young people with emotional, behavioral or mental health issues.
Every year for a weekend in August, this campus becomes a very busy location as soccer players, coaches, family members and neighbors who all come together for the KidsPeace Annual Soccer Invitational. This year will be the 14th, and will be held on August 20 and 21. Teams from across the state gather for this first tournament of the season, where U9-U15 boys and U16-U19 girls compete.
KidsPeace is a welcoming host, providing activities, entertainment, food, a camping area and a pristine setting with great views of the Lehigh Valley for all attendees. Typically, some 4000 kids and adults visit the campus that weekend, and everyone comes away with a positive opinion of KidsPeace and its employees.
"The soccer tournament is a great opportunity for the teams and the community to visit KidsPeace," says KidsPeace President and CEO Will Isemann. "It is a great opportunity for us to show off our beautiful campus and give back a bit to the community that supports us." KidsPeace gives back to the community throughout the year, Isemann adds, in many measurable and intangible ways.
The proceeds of the Soccer Invitational will help support the good works of TeenCentral.Net and ParentCentral.Net (both described below) over the coming year.
KidsPeace invites our neighbors in the Lehigh Valley to visit our Orchard Hills campus and watch some great soccer on Saturday and Sunday, August 20th and 21st. The entire event will be staffed by KidsPeace employees who volunteer their time to help with this popular event. Admission is free.
KidsPeace Contributes
KidsPeace was founded in Bethlehem, PA, in 1882 to provide a home for children orphaned by a smallpox epidemic, and has had a close relationship with its neighbors ever since. From its humble beginnings, KidsPeace has grown to provide hope, help and healing to children, families and communities in PA and across the nation. Last year alone, KidsPeace and its more than 1100 staff in the Lehigh Valley provided care to 2840 children.
KidsPeace employees are wonderful role models to the kids in care. They are enthusiastic volunteers for many causes and invite the children to participate with them. The employees and kids in the Lehigh Valley contributed many hundreds of volunteer hours to the community including:
• Participating in numerous walks to raise money for autism, ALS, suicide prevention and more
• Bake sales to raise money for local organizations
• Volunteering at food banks
• Helping at a farm for older animals
• Visiting nursing homes
• Performing for guests
• Assisting with campus cleanups.
KidsPeace makes a large contribution to the local economy as well. Last year, KidsPeace:
• Paid $1,760,000 in local and state payroll taxes
• Provided $10,400,000 in free and under-compensated care to children
• Spent $5,000,000 on food, clothing and other products purchased in the Lehigh Valley
• Paid employees $44,000,000, which were spent in the Lehigh Valley.
Additional Contributions
KidsPeace opened it brand new Family Center last year on the Broadway site in Bethlehem, PA. This facility provides community based outpatient treatment to children and their families. Many services are coordinated through the Family Center, which provides free initial assessments of children, family and individual therapy, pediatric assessments, nutritional assistance and an array of services for children on the autism spectrum.
KidsPeace also offers two exceptional prevention and intervention websites that help teens and parents in the Lehigh Valley and around the world. TeenCentral.Net is a free, anonymous site where teens write about issues that are bothering them, receive advice from Master's or Doctorate level counselors, read celebrity stores, learn about important issues such as domestic violence and weight awareness and post comments to other teens' questions. All posts are reviewed and approved by a counselor before they appear on the site.
ParentCentral.Net is a website for parents that is also free and anonymous and operates similarly to TeenCentral.Net. No topics are taboo, and parents can receive answers to their questions in 24 hours from trained counselors with expertise in family issues.
KidsPeace.Org contains a wealth of information for mental health professionals, educators and parents, including the award-winning Healing Magazine, brochures and fliers on parenting, information about KidsPeace services and locations and newsworthy articles.
FosterCare.Com provides everything one needs to know about becoming a foster parent and providing the care that treatment foster children need. If you are interested in becoming a foster parent, you can fill out a form and get response from the nearest foster care office.
Baltimore, MD… KidsPeace Foster Care of Maryland is excited to announce a great upcoming recruitment fair/fundraiser for the entire family. On August 20, 2011, families are invited to hang out at Ultrazone on the lower level of the Eastpoint Mall. Come celebrate National KidsDay – an annual event to celebrate the inherent value and worth of children -- and help foster kids in the Baltimore area. Attendees will have the opportunity to play laser tag and learn about foster care during this four-hour event at Ultrazone. Thanks to the generosity of Ultrazone, Dominos Pizza® and Coca Cola®, families will enjoy 2 for the price of 1 Laser Tag games, pizza and drinks from noon until 4:00 p.m., and face painting, sculpted balloons and arcade games and more will also be available. A small donation may apply to some of these activities.
According to Program Manager Sandy Rappeport, this event will be great fun for families and give KidsPeace Foster Care an opportunity to reach out to adults who might be candidates to become foster parents. "This event will also raise much needed funding for our KidsPeace Empowering Youth to Succeed (KEYS) and mentoring programs for foster teens. These programs teach foster teens who will be aging out of the system skills for independent living," Sandy explains. "We teach these kids how to develop and stick to budgets, save money, apply for jobs, rent an apartment, get insurance and many other skills that they probably haven't learned in the foster care system." The teens receive a small stipend at each class, and KidsPeace saves an equal amount for them for when they leave the foster care system.
"There are so many children waiting for foster homes in the Baltimore area," Sandy continues, "that we reach out to potential foster parents every chance we get." There are many misconceptions out there about who can be a foster parent, but in general:
• You don't have to be married
• You don't have to be rich
• You don't have to have kids of your own (but having some experience with kids is preferred)
• You do need a safe home with a space for privacy for your foster child
• You need earned income that meets your personal needs
• You need a background free of violent crime
• You need an insured car or other reliable form of transportation to take your foster child to appointments
• You need a flexible schedule and time to spend with your foster child
• You need a loving heart to share with your foster child.
Please join us at Ultrazone on August 20 to celebrate your own children and help our kids become independent adults.
For more information, call KidsPeace Foster Care at 410-261-3232 or click here.
Good parenting is very subjective. Who is to say that one person is superior to another in such a personal role? Families are more untraditional today than ever before, meaning that it is even more difficult to apply labels to a parent.
• Is a child being cared for better because there are two parents in the household? Not necessarily.
• Is a child eating a good diet and getting enough rest and exercise? Hard to tell if he or she is in day care.
• Do you spend enough time with your child? What is enough? If a parent is working 2 jobs to make ends meet, he or she is really tired and may not have time to just play.
• Does your child watch too much television or chat with friends on the computer too much? What is too much – an hour, 3 hours?
• Do you have time to monitor him or her to make sure he or she isn't viewing inappropriate subject matter? You can put alerts or controls on the television or computer, but there are ways around such things.
• How do you discipline your children? You know that you should never strike or shake a child as punishment or make him or her consume something that will harm him or make her sick. You can also harm children by yelling and screaming and making afraid of you.
• Does your child witness abuse between you and your spouse or other family members? That should never happen; studies show that seeing such behavior can be very traumatic to your child.
• How is your child doing in school? Have her grades changed recently? Is he getting in trouble or being suspended from school?
• Are you a grandparent or aunt or uncle raising a child because the parent isn't up to the task? Would this child be better off in foster care or living with you in a modest home?
ParentCentral.Net hears questions like these all the time and understands the concerns of parents or parent figures. If you need some reassurance or advice on parenting, you can write your story and send it to ParentCentral.Net. Within 24 hours, you will receive a response to your post that has been written by a trained counselor and reviewed by a Master's or Doctorate level expert.
The reply you receive will give you an objective assessment of your problem and provide you with resources you can contact for more information. You may also receive responses from other parents who have been through the same issues you are facing. These are also reviewed by our professionals before being posted anonymously.
These services are safe and free and can help you get through a difficult time. ParentCentral.Net also contains articles on different parenting issues as well as podcasts that speak to the kinds of issues you and your child are facing. No subject is taboo, so you can feel comfortable discussing questions you have about sexuality, drug and alcohol use, abuse, punishment or your relationship with your child.
ParentCentral.Net was developed to meet the needs of the many parents who often wrote into TeenCentral.Net, a website that has been advising teens since the late 1990s. Also anonymous and free, TeenCentral.Net helps teens with any concerns they choose to write about, from trouble with a boyfriend to teen pregnancy to bullying to body image. We believe that every question is deserves a respectfully answer not matter what the topic. This is why TeenCentral.Net has nearly 500,000 members and has been helping teens for well over a decade.
Now parents have a site of their own site, their own podcasts, their own informational articles and their own resources. ParentCentral.Net will help get you through whatever issues you face, safely and with total privacy. Log in today.
National KidsDay KidsDay® will be celebrated around the nation on Sunday, August 7th. KidsPeace created this annual event to encourage the adults – parents, grandparents, relatives, neighbors, teachers and other caregivers – to spend more meaningful time with America's children and to honor and celebrate the inherent value and worth of all kids.
National KidsDay is an opportunity to:
• Celebrate childhood
• Demonstrate our commitment to nurturing children
• Inspire our nation, our communities and our families to love and appreciate children
• To make our children feel loved and valued
• To guide our children toward a healthy, happy, successful future.
What You Can Do
There are so many different ways that you can celebrate this day with children in your care. You don't need to spend a lot of money to let your children know that you love them. They will appreciate your time and uninterrupted attention so much more.
Plan to do something fun with your children, like a picnic or a long walk in the park, or an arts and crafts project or baking something delicious. Go to or rent a movie, start scrap booking together, take a bike ride. Whatever you plan to do, tell your children about it early so they have the fun of anticipation. Breakfast in bed? Why not? You may want to spend part of National KidsDay volunteering together at a local food bank, cleaning up the yard of an elderly neighbor or organizing a neighborhood scavenger hunt.
It is also a day for aunts and uncles, grandparents, family friends and community members to recognize the importance of the children in their lives and stand in for parents who may have to work or are away. Foster parents are encouraged to participate in the celebration of this day with their foster and biological children. Many KidsPeace Foster Care offices sponsor events that bring foster families together as one large community that creates one large family for all members. There are also many children in residential care at KidsPeace facilities in Pennsylvania, Minnesota, Maine and Georgia. If their families cannot visit, KidsPeace staff members plan events for the children in care.
These may include:
• Take the kids in your care outside for a picnic – arrange this with food services so that it can be a special treat
• Play ball or Frisbee with them
• If possible, take them for a hike in the nearby woods or fields
• Look at flowers and try to see how many varieties you can identify
• Bring in an age appropriate video to watch in the afternoon
• If possible, arrange for a donation of water ices or ice cream or a cake from a local business
• Do an arts and crafts project and hang up or display their works of art
• Have a sing-along.
Why America Needs National KidsDay
For decades, children across America asked their parents, grandparents and guardians why America celebrates "Mother's Day" and "Father's Day," but has no "Kid's Day." National KidsDay fills that gap and seeks to provide a reminder of children's year-round need for meaningful time and interactions with adults.
Please join KidsPeace and a growing number of organizations and businesses in making National KidsDay
Background Information
National KidsDay® was created by KidsPeace to encourage adults to spend meaningful time with America's children, and to celebrate their inherent worth and value. Recognized by the U.S. Congress and endorsed by the U.S. Conference of Mayors, National KidsDay is a registered trademark of KidsPeace to ensure the day is always used for the benefit of children.
KidsPeace is a 129-year-old national children's charity dedicated to helping America's kids avoid and overcome the kinds of crises that can strike any child – from traumas to neglect, depression and the stresses of modern life. Founded in 1882 in Bethlehem, PA, KidsPeace helps thousands of children a day at centers nationally and millions more through public education and outreach with the support of celebrities. KidsPeace was called "the outstanding organization" of its kind by the American Association of Psychiatric Services for Children and "a prototype of what we need for all children everywhere" by family expert Dr. Lee Salk. For more information, go to www.kidspeace.org.
"The trouble with things these days is, you're not ALLOWED to keep your family under control. You can't hit your wife or kids anymore, or you'll go to jail." The father sat in front of me, distraught, as I tried to wrap my brain around the words he'd just spoken. The KidsPeace Psychiatric Hospital had just admitted his fourteen-year-old son after an assault on a teacher, an assault that resulted in arrest and legal charges. The boy had been hospitalized the evening before, and this was the first meeting between the family and me, the clinician. The boy's mother sat next to her husband, nodding sadly. "Could you repeat what you just said?" I asked the father. He looked uncomfortable as he answered, "Well, what I meant was, what am I supposed to do? I'm trying to keep my family in line, and these kids just do whatever they want. Now look what's happened." I took a deep breath and tried to look beyond the father's words (far beyond.) Here was a father who did truly love his family, who wanted them to do the right things. He was feeling helpless and out-of-control like most parents of a child admitted to a psychiatric hospital. Yet, there was much that was different about this family … or so I thought.
It wasn't until later meetings with the family that I learned the whole story. This was a family in which there had been significant physical abuse and domestic violence, so much so that there had been an open Child Protective Service case for a number of years. The parents, fearful of losing their children, had complied with the steps outlined by the Caseworkers and had eliminated physical violence from the home. CPS closed the case with some satisfaction, believing their mission had been accomplished. Indeed, it had; they'd succeeded in making the family one in which the children were safe. But what then? What kind of legacy would years of physical, verbal and emotional violence leave for this family? The answer was becoming clear. Their son, the oldest child, was in constant altercations in the schoolyard and was known as a bully. He had been suspended frequently. The parents were starting to suspect that he'd been using drugs and alcohol. Their daughter, age eleven, was in therapy with a history of depression and truancy—she refused to go to school. What was happening with these kids?
This family was acting out the very reality that investigators and researchers into child maltreatment know to be true: Certain forms of victimization, such as family violence, create vulnerability for bullying, perpetration or victimization. This is known as trauma reenactment. For instance, some youth who are maltreated by their families might learn that violence is the way to deal with interpersonal difficulties, and therefore physically bully their peers at school(1). In one study, 700 fifth grade students were interviewed and asked about their experience of bullying:
• 14% reported that they had bullied others
• 12% reported that they were the victims of bullying
• 8% stated that they'd been both bullies and the victims of bullying
• 66% stated that they were not involved in bullying.
When the same respondents were asked about their history of maltreatment, this is what the researchers found:
• Children who were both bullies and victims of bullying reported the most child maltreatment (44%), which included experiences with physical and psychological abuse and neglect.
• Bully-victims also reported the highest rates of sexual victimization (32%), which included experiences with sexual harassment as well as sexual abuse, and included familial and non-familial perpetrators.
• Bully-victims witnessed higher levels of victimization within their homes (e.g., domestic violence) and communities (e.g., witnessing attacks) than other youth (59% for bully-victims, 61% for bullies)(2).
In addition, studies have shown that maltreated children are at least twenty-five percent more likely to experience problems such as delinquency, teen pregnancy and low academic achievement(3). Bullies who have been identified by age eight are six times more likely than others to be convicted of a crime by the time they reach the age of twenty-four. They are five times more likely to end up with serious criminal records by age thirty(4). Things were looking grim for this family, if the statistics held true. But I was more confused by the dichotomy in front of me. Clearly, these parents loved their family and wanted the best for each other. How could that fit with a history of physically harming each other?
One answer to that question comes from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). In 1995, the CDC collaborated with Kaiser Permanente's Health Appraisal Clinic in San Diego on a groundbreaking study called the ACE Study (http://www.acestudy.org/.) Co-principal investigators Robert F. Anda MD and Vincent J. Felitti MD conducted perhaps the largest scientific research study to analyze the relationship between multiple categories of trauma, or adverse childhood experiences, and health and behavioral outcomes later in life. More than 17,000 white, middle-class, college-educated adults were asked about their history of adverse childhood experiences (ACE's) such as physical and emotional abuse, physical and emotional neglect, sexual abuse, substance abuse in the home, domestic violence, incarceration of an adult, untreated mental illness. Almost two-thirds of the study participants reported at least one adverse childhood experience, and more than one in five reported three or more. Clearly, the experience of childhood trauma is not an exception to the rule. The short- and long-term outcomes of these childhood exposures include a multitude of health and social problems, as follows.
The ACE Score is used to assess the total amount of stress during childhood and its life-long impact; the study demonstrated that as the level of stress increases, the risk for the following health problems increases in a strong and graded fashion:
• Alcoholism and alcohol abuse
• Risk for intimate partner violence
• Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD)
• Multiple sexual partners
• Depression
• Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)
• Fetal death
• Smoking
• Health-related quality of life
• Suicide attempts
• Illicit drug use
• Unintended pregnancies
• Ischemic heart disease (IHD)
• Early initiation of smoking
• Liver disease
• Early initiation of sexual activity
• Adolescent pregnancy
The evidence clearly suggests that the more adverse childhood experiences (childhood traumas) that people experience, the more likely they are to have a number of problems, such as domestic violence, substance abuse, and depression. But what about the role of "traumatic reenactment?" Why would someone play out the same terrible experiences throughout their lives? Here's what I learned:
Re-enactment of victimization is a major cause of violence. Many traumatized people expose themselves, seemingly compulsively, to situations reminiscent of the original trauma. These behavioral reenactments are rarely consciously understood to be related to earlier life experiences. Some traumatized people remain preoccupied with the trauma at the expense of other life experiences and continue to re-create it in some form for themselves or for others. War veterans may enlist as mercenaries, victims of incest may become prostitutes, and victims of childhood physical abuse seemingly provoke subsequent abuse in foster families or become self-mutilators. Still others identify with the aggressor and do to others what was done to them. These behavioral reenactments are rarely consciously understood to be related to earlier life experiences(5).
So how do we help families understand the impact of violence, trauma, and traumatic reenactment? It starts with education; families need to be provided with what is called "psychoeducation." Our first step in working with this family was to help them understand the interactions among childhood trauma, parenting, child maltreatment, and children's behavior. They needed to learn about the long-term patterns of violence that occur from one generation to the next, and how to stop the cycle. We encouraged the parents to talk to their children about the role that violence plays in their family; we asked them to allow the children to ask questions, even ones that made the parents uncomfortable. They needed to allow respectful dialogue, even when the subject was painful. The parents were taught to set clear limits on unsafe physical, emotional and verbal behavior within the family and as the family interacts with the community. Next, the family needed to learn the skills of managing their emotions when interacting among themselves and others; they developed and practiced these skills in the home. With the help of a family-based team of counselors, they learned techniques for managing anger; they developed safety plans for times when emotion threatened to lead to unsafe behavior; they developed communication skills, conflict resolution skills and problem-solving abilities. They worked with a number of providers to create a sense of community within their family, where everyone felt a sense of belonging and safety.
Family members were encouraged to visit ParentCentral.Net to share their experiences and receive advice anonymously from Master's and doctorate level clinicians. There is a tremendous amount of reading material on this site, as well as a community that supports its members. Teens can visit TeenCentral.Net to discuss their thoughts and feelings after discharge and to read stories by celebrities and peers about how they overcame issues while they were growing up. Advice is also given by Master's or doctorate level counselors within 24 hours. KidsPeace offers these two websites free of charge to all parents and teens who use their services.
Just as this courageous family did, all families who are struggling can and should seek professional services to help them take these steps. Every family has the ability to become a place where all members can seek shelter from the stressors and pressure of the outside world. Every family has the ability to make their home, instead of a place of fear and violence, a place of sanctuary.
(1) http://www.education.com/reference/article/bullying-child-abuse-sexual-domestic-violence/
(2) Holt, M., Finkelhor, D., & Kaufman Kantor, K. (in press). Hidden victimization in bullying assessment. School Psychology Review, 36, 345-360.
(3) Kelley BT, Thornberry T P, Smith CA. In the wake of childhood maltreatment. Washington (DC): National Institute of Justice; 1997.
(4) National Resource Center for Safe Schools. (1999, Winter). Mixing age groups reduces bullying. Fact Sheet Number 4. Retrieved August 20, 2001 from http://www.safetyzone.org/publications/fact4_article2.html
(5) Van der Kolk, BA. The compulsion to repeat the trauma: re-enactment, revictimization, and masochism. Psychiatr Clin North Am 1989; 12(2):389-411.
COLUMBIA, MD JUNE 30, 2011 – KidsPeace, a 129-year-old national children's charity with offices throughout the Maryland, Virginia and District of Columbia areas, today announced a commitment from Baltimore Orioles Manager William "Buck" Showalter and his wife Angela to lend their voices in support of the organization's mission. KidsPeace provides Foster Care and Community Services to hundreds of children with mental and behavioral health issues. The organization, based in Pennsylvania, also offers residential treatment facilities and a unique psychiatric hospital serving children from age 3 to 21.
Showalter, the two (2) time American League "Manager of the Year", was named manager of the Baltimore Orioles last July. Showalter and his wife have committed to be featured in a Public Service Announcement for KidsPeace; while Angela Showalter has agreed to serve as a volunteer member of the KidsPeace Board of Associates for Maryland.
"We are thrilled that the Showalters have made this personal commitment to KidsPeace," said William Isemann, KidsPeace President & CEO. "We thank them for recognizing the importance of our mission to bring hope, help and
healing to children and families everywhere and we look forward to their future involvement."
"Angela and I are very honored to support KidsPeace in their efforts to provide children and families, in crisis, needed programs and services throughout Baltimore and the surrounding communities," said Buck Showalter, Baltimore Orioles Manager.
The city of Baltimore has more than 4,000 children in foster care. "The needs of our local foster youth are immense. KidsPeace partners with the city and surrounding counties to find homes for many of these children and to give them hope," says Sandy Rappeport, Maryland Program Manager. "Foster youth who age out of the system are faced with staggering realities: only 46 percent complete high school, 40-50 percent are homeless within 18 months, and 25 percent are incarcerated within 24 months." Critical KidsPeace programming works to address those realities but can be even more successful with increased local community involvement.
In addition to placing foster youth with loving families, KidsPeace provides services to foster youth. "There are many ways that foster youth can be supported—through providing homes, becoming a mentor, or by contributing financially to support programs," says Rappeport. One such activity is a mentoring program for children and adolescents in foster care, providing support through group activities and one-on-one relationships. "We are working to build our volunteer mentor program because it helps youth develop a strong sense of self worth and strengthen their ability to interact with others in positive ways," says Gina Seyfried, Volunteer Coordinator.
Another activity, the KEYS program, provides life-skills training for foster youth ages 16-20, who face uncertain times as they prepare for their transition from care to independent living. The KEYS Program provides training in various life skills areas, including: goal setting, personal values, self-awareness, banking and money management, employment and others. "Few young adults leave home at 18 ready to care for themselves, so they rely on their adult support system to provide them guidance, emotional support, housing and financial assistance," says Seyfried. "But a young person in foster care often misses out on these supports. The KEYS program is here to offer tangible, hands on activities to unlock their future success."
Supporters of annual events, including a 5K Run and Fun Walk held in October and a Winetasting Event in September, help fund KidsPeace foster youth programs.
"Our local community has shown that they have big hearts and we are hoping we can continue fostering relationships that help them see the joys of connecting with a child who needs their help," says Rappeport.
The Showalters have also agreed to serve as honorary chairs for the KidsPeace Annual 5K Race & Fun Walk to take place in Baltimore Oct. 29th, 2011.
Family Scavenger Hunt
On National KidsDay morning, slip note cards under everyone's pillow to start the scavenger hunt. Direct them where to go for a trail of treats and promises. Hide special goodies and notes around the house (each note provides a clue for the next card or treat). Promise notes can be as simple as "You can stay up late to watch a movie" or "You can decide where we eat tonight." Save and redeem these promise coupons, spreading the togetherness for months to come.
Down Memory Lane
Relax with the kids and enjoy looking through old childhood photographs of you growing up and the kids as they've grown up. Share your favorite memories and activities you enjoyed as a child. Take pictures on National KidsDay and start to organize, with your children, scrapbooks they can share with their kids in years to come.
Healthy Kids Chart
A fun activity that promotes good health. Create a colorful chart to keep track of healthy habits, using poster board and markers. Brainstorm with the kids about what habits should be listed (perhaps eating healthier, eating more vegetables, tooth-brushing, flossing, hair washing, etc.). Along the side of the chart, write the healthy habits. Across the top, write each family member's name. Draw spaces to check off or apply stickers whenever the healthy habits are followed.
The Big Coupon Reversal
Instead of kids making coupons for parents, adults make a coupon for the kids. Develop a list with the kinds of things your family hasn't had time for lately. Together, create a coupon booklet. Then kids redeem the coupon any time they want a little extra attention.
National KidsDay Bash
Celebrate National KidsDay with family, friends and neighbors. Send party invitations and ask everyone to bring their kids' favorite dishes to share. Have the kids create artistic table decorations and colorful placemats. Create a group graffiti board where everyone writes or draws special National KidsDay messages. Host a parent-child talent show or turn on some music and play musical chairs. Mark your calendars for the first Sunday in August and make this an annual, fun-filled event.
Sounds Like …
Play Charades as partners, teaming up at least one adult and one child. The first pair draws a movie title from the hat and leaves the room to plan how they will act out the clue. (You decide how long they get to prepare.) That pair acts out the title while the other team guesses. If the opposite team correctly guesses the clue, they are up next. Be sure to time each pair (allow 90 seconds). At the end of the game, the team with the shortest total time wins!
Neighborhood Carnival
Get together with other families in the neighborhood to plan a National KidsDay carnival! Have the kids organize games and events such as: bucket toss, face painting, beanbag toss, craft table, funny photo dress-up booth, etc. Play a friendly game of tug or war or parent-child sack races, three-legged and wheelbarrow races or egg-on-spoon race. Remember to partner grown-ups with children and have a terrific day.
Take a Hike
What a wonderful way to share time and nature with our children. Parks are wonderful places to explore with your child. Many have trails marked as to their difficulty. Bring backpacks w/lunch, plenty of fluids to drink, cameras, a compass, maps, insect repellant and sun block. Let your child use the compass to determine your path. See how many birds you can identify. Look for interesting insects to observe. Make sure you aren't too ambitious in the distance covered so your child does not get too tired.
Have a Picnic
An ordinary lunch can turn into a delightful memory if you pack it up and go to a park or lake or special place to enjoy it with your child. Cut your sandwiches in amusing shapes, include healthy food and have your child prepare one item. Relax and talk with your child. Bring a ball or Frisbee and get some exercise with your child.
Enjoy a Movie Day
Spend the afternoon with your child watching one or two of his favorite movies. Afterwards, review the movies with you child being as positive as possible about the content, acting, theme, music, animation, etc. This is a great activity for a rainy day.
Volunteer Together
Help out at a local charity or raise funds through a lemonade stand and donate the proceeds to her favorite cause. Making volunteerism part of your child's life is the best way to teach her to help others when she is an adult.
Do something nice for a neighbor
Help a neighbor out by pulling some weeds, sweeping, watering the plants or another act of kindness you and your child can do together. This is another valuable lesson to teach your child while having some special time for the two of you.
Clean up Toys
Take the time to go through your child's toys together, separating out the ones he no longer plays with to donate to children who are in need. During this time, reminisce about how your child played with his different toys and share your memories of some fun times. Wash up all of the toys, whether they are being kept or donated.
Plan a Menu
Let your child plan a meal for that day. Then go out together and purchase the ingredients and prepare the meal together. While shopping, point out nutritional values of the foods you are buying and suggest healthier substitutes if appropriate.
Attend a Sports Event
What can be more fun than cheering on your favorite team? Find out when games will be played in your neighborhood and attend a baseball, softball or soccer game being played that day. Cheer loudly for friends and classmates and enjoy snacks together while watching.
Have an Arts and Crafts Day
Ask your child what she would like to make and spend part of the day helping her be creative. If it is a sloppy project, do it outside and then clean up with a hose, spraying each other if it is really hot out.
How will you celebrate with your kids? Please email us with some new and creative ideas at firstname.lastname@example.com. Just remember, however you celebrate National KidsDay, it is the closeness and fun that your child will remember.]]>
One special feature of this year's tournament is a silent auction featuring a variety of sports memorabilia and autographed items, including signed items from golfers Arnold Palmer, Greg Norman, Anika Sorenstam and Chi Chi Rodriquez, an autographed Marc Andre Fleury Winter Classic jersey from the Pittsburgh Penguins, a Washington Red Skins autographed football, a Jimmy Johnson autographed NASCAR hat and a Dan Marino signed Hall of Fame hat. Other major items in the auction will be a week at a North Carolina beach house, Flyers, Phillies and Yankees tickets, and tickets to the Journey and Foreigner concert at the Allentown Fair.
Non-golfers are welcome to attend the event banquet. For information on the tournament or sponsorship opportunities call Terry Callaghan at 610-799-7990.]]>
by Leslie Ann Jackson, Program Manager, KidsPeace Foster Care, Durham-Chapel Hill, NC
The first week of May is National Child Mental Health Week, and, this year, the Raleigh and Durham FCCP offices in North Carolina got everyone involved in celebrating the themes of the week. The official color of the week is green, which, in the 1800s, was used to label people who were considered "insane" but is now used to represent the new life, new growth and new beginnings that are the goals of mental health treatment. Throughout the week, KidsPeace staff and foster parents wore green ribbons in recognition of this idea, and, on Tuesday, May 3, all staff dressed in green to show their support.
In addition, the staff, foster parents and children in the Durham-Chapel Hill program enjoyed a planting activity at the office. Those in attendance planted flowers to represent each of the children enrolled in the therapeutic foster care program and also planted seeds in cups to take home and nurture. The weather was perfect, and delicious refreshments rounded-out this fun, family activity.
The Raleigh office chose to celebrate by inviting children who attended SpringFest (a training day for foster parents) to participate in a poster contest, using the National Child Mental Health Week theme of "The Diversity and Resilience of our Families. The children were taught about diversity and resilience before they began and created bright, colorful and thoughtful representations of these concepts. All children were rewarded for their participation, and winners were selected by age group. Most importantly, everyone enjoyed the togetherness and fun of the activities held in each of these offices and were reminded of all there is to celebrate in the world of Child Mental Health.
For more information about foster care in North Carolina as well as Pennsylvania, New York, Maine, Maryland, Virginia, Indiana, Nevada and the District of Columbia, visit fostercare.com, kidspeace.com, or call 866-4-KIDSPEACE (866-454-3773).
On June 5, KidsPeace Foster Care of Danville and Williamsport, PA, will be answering telephones for the Children's Miracle Network telethon from 2:00 - 4:00 p.m. This is a great opportunity to support the community and a worthy cause. It will also raise awareness of KidsPeace Foster Care in this part of PA.
Thanks to The Second Mile, KidsPeace of Danville foster families and staff will have the opportunity to enjoy a fun-filled "Family Day" day on June 16 at Knoebels Amusement Resort, in Elysburg, PA.
Finally, on August 12, KidsPeace Foster Care of Danville will be hosting its 2nd Annual Golf Tournament. It will be structured as a four man scramble with a shot-gun start at 9:00 a.m. Golfers can sign up teams at $70 per golfer, $280 per team. The tournament will be held at Rolling Pines Golf Course in Berwick, PA, and the sign-up fee includes: a round of golf, a cart and a meal at the end of the tournament! There will be an opportunity to win a car as a hole in one prize, and $5,000 in a putting contest. The proceeds of this tournament will benefit foster kids and parents throughout the year. For more information on this fundraiser, call 800-876-0590 or email email@example.com.
If you are interested in becoming a foster parent, visit fostercare.com.]]>
*Names have been changed to protect privacy]]>
According to the National Foster Care Month website, there are more than 400,000 children and teens currently in the foster care system, and the need for families to care for these young people is great. May is National Foster Care Month, a time to recognize foster parents for their extraordinary work with this nation's foster children. It is also a time to recognize how difficult life is for most foster children when they are taken from their families and schools and placed in new households for temporary or permanent stays. Finally, it is a time to note the efforts of the professionals who work in foster care, recruiting and training foster families, placing children in good homes, providing support and treatment to foster children and always being available to foster parents if a problem arises.
KidsPeace is committed to helping find permanency for foster children, which is in line with federal and state guidelines. We are also committed to helping foster teens make the transition from foster care to independence when they age out of the system at 18. We provide life skills training programs to older foster kids to help them prepare to find a job and an apartment, buy, register and insure a car, open and track a checking account, pay bills on time and learn many other skills that help them face life on their own. KidsPeace also ensures that foster children receive the mental health and tutoring services they need to be successful in foster placement.
KidsPeace carefully matches each child to a family that will best suit their needs and with which he or she will be a good fit. It is extremely hard on children to be moved from one house to another until a good match is made. "The federal mandate is to reduce 'drift,' which means kids being placed in home after home, which is very damaging to their ability to attach and their self-esteem. It is therefore the job of organizations such as ours to be extremely selective when interviewing potential foster families and providing them with in-depth training and support to deal with any crises that arise, 24/7," according to Foster Care and Family Services Regional Director for KidsPeace Ken Olson. "At KidsPeace, we do everything in our power to make our placements successful. We want our kids to stay in one foster home until they are returned to their families or are adopted, often by their foster families."
You are never alone if you join the KidsPeace Foster Care team. Our training is extensive, we are always there to help you and your foster child and you become a member of our Foster Care Community, where you will meet other foster parents, participate in KidsPeace sponsored events and know that you are a vital member of the child's foster care team. We often have sibling groups that will be so happy if a family takes them in together. KidsPeace especially encourages you to agree to take in a teen to guide to adulthood.
If you have ever thought about what it might be like to be a foster parent, please take step toward foster parenting this May. KidsPeace invites the you to consider becoming a foster parent by reviewing these questions:
1. Would you like to make a difference in the life of a child in need?
2. Can you open your home to a foster child who has been closely matched with the dynamics of your family?
3. Are you loving, patient, understanding, nonjudgmental and warm, and do you respect each child as an individual?
4. Would you like to be treated as a full member of the professional team focused on your child's best interest?
5. Can you provide your foster child with a safe environment that allows privacy and personal space?
6. Are you over 21?
7. Do you have a source of earned income that is sufficient to support your family?
8. Do you have a fully insured automobile and the time to transport your foster child to appointments, activities and family visitations?
9. Are you available to attend extensive training about foster parenting?
10. Do you have a background that is free of crime against children?
If you answered yes to all of these questions, you may be eligible to become a foster parent. For more information, visit KidsPeace Foster Care at Fostercare.com.
In 1882, when KidsPeace was born, the primary goal was providing shelter and care to children orphaned by a smallpox epidemic. Now, KidsPeace has grown and evolved to meet increasingly complex developmental, emotional and behavioral issues unlike our predecessors ever imagined. Each generation of children at KidsPeace has experienced problems that reflect society, health care, the economy, the political atmosphere, the environment and the state of the family.
Institutionalization has given way to community care; neonatology saves the lives of babies who would never have survived a decade ago; children have electronic access to all the information in the world – and to a world of dangers; medicine has exploded with prescriptions that can make life more tolerable but also have the potential for great abuse; and, in the opinion of many, the violence that permeates the media is having a profound influence on the behavior and values of our youth. Are the issues kids are facing that much more complicated today, or are we just better at diagnosing and assigning labels? It would appear that the answer to both questions is yes.
For a variety of physical and environmental reasons, kids today are presenting with serious mental and behavioral health symptoms that often require intense, long-term treatment. Children suffer from an array of pervasive developmental delays, ADHD, depression, Autism Spectrum Disorders, anxiety, oppositional/defiant disorders, fetal alcohol syndrome, severe anger, eating disorders, learning disorders, bipolarism, schizophrenia, Savant syndrome, addictions, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and a variety of other serious issues. Many of our children are neglected, sexually and physically abused and abusive, suicidal, anti-social, unwanted, self-harming, habitually truant, frequent users of drugs or alcohol, in constant trouble with the law, gang members, sexually active, involved in extremely risky and /or violent behavior and seemingly unaware of socially acceptable behavior.
Keeping Up
Fortunately, private organizations like KidsPeace, government agencies, mental health professionals, educators, counselors and others are devoting increasingly greater efforts to:
• Improve diagnostic techniques
• Develop individualized, appropriate treatment modalities
• Ensure that follow-up services exist in the community to help kids continue to heal after initial treatment
• Work in the community to reduce risks and offer alternatives to harmful behaviors
• Educate kids about the dangers of drugs, alcohol, gangs and unprotected sexual activity
• Provide educational programs to meet the needs of all children
• Offer school-based testing, counseling, special needs classes and after-school programs to give children alternative recreational opportunities
• Make Internet sites accountable for the protection of children and teens who post information
• Inform parents about the risks their children face every day
• Report to authorities if children show symptoms of abuse or neglect
• Recognize the signs of suicide ideation and intervene if a
child appears to be at risk
• Understand that trauma can cause serious psychological damage that may present itself in many ways
• Provide safe places where youth can turn for help like TeenCentral.Net
• Find safe, loving foster homes for children who are unable to thrive in their family homes
• Make the safety and care of children everywhere a top priority of the nation and the world.
Great strides are being made every day in finding causes of and designing treatment for developmental disorders, emotional and behavior issues, learning disabilities and mental health problems.
And Yet …
Kids are still kids, and they are resilient and yearn to have the opportunity to grow and learn and fit in and be loved. Their basic needs of food, clothing and shelter have grown to include acceptance, safety from predators, mentors to fill in when parents are absent or unable to guide them, safe havens, mental and physical health education and support from the media and society to face the challenges of growing up in the 21st Century.
Dr. Licata co-founded and has been directing TeenCentral.Net since 1998. This website is free, anonymous and very safe for all teens who log on to "work it out." Licata has seen a concerning rise in bullying incidents and issues reported on TC.N recently, as well as the distress and helplessness it causes victims. In this article, Licata explores the dangers of bullying and the signs of bullying for which parents should watch in their children.
Dr. Licata recently launched ParentCentral.Net to assist parents in dealing with the issues they face and receive advice from Master's or PhD level counselors. The site also provides access to podcasts and relevant information on parenting.
Social standing and fitting in are very important to teenagers. All too often, maintaining that comfortable role in a group can be ruined by bullies. Bullies are typically bigger physically, but they may also be bigger in terms of personality or viciousness. They typically intimidate through physical or sexual means, but they also can be more subtle and use verbal abuse to inflict pain and intimidation on their victims. They target the weaker, shyer, sensitive kids and usually repeat their hurtful behaviors over time with one goal: to increase their own stature at the cost of destroying the victim's self-esteem.
Clearly, bullying is far
more than simple teasing; it is an aggressive, destructive and very dangerous
behavior that also includes harassment and can ruin someone's life. The victims
of bullying and harassment often do not tell parents or report this behavior
because they fear retaliation, feel embarrassed about what is happening or just
feel so put down that they see no hope of this situation ending. They also fear
retaliation if they try to stand up for themselves and frequently attempt to
befriend the bully, just to make the punishment stop. This can often result in
feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, depression and even thoughts of
suicide ... >>Read More
KidsPeace is delighted to announce the launch of its new website for parents, www.ParentCentral.Net from the creators of TeenCentral.Net. This new site is a response to the many emails received by KidsPeace on the corporate website, KidsPeace.org, and through TeenCentral.Net from parents who are in need of advice about their parenting issues. The new site also supports the KidsPeace mission of providing hope, help and healing to children, families and communities. KidsPeace invites you to visit ParentCentral.Net and register today. Then start posting about your parenting issues, questions and observations and communicate with counselors and parenting professionals and receive answers to your questions within 24 hours.
Dr. Julius Licata developed TeenCentral.Net in 1998 to respond to the needs of teens around the world who needed a safe, anonymous place to openly discuss their problems and receive advice from specially trained counselors. Licata recognized the same need for assistance in the parents who contacted KidsPeace through TeenCentral.Net and KidsPeace.Org to seek answers to their questions.
"We designed ParentCentral.Net much like TeenCentral.Net," Licata said. "Parents write to us about their parenting problems or issues they may be having with their children and receive sound advice and guidance from our counselors." Emails are posted on the site, along with replies they receive, to help other parents or guardians with similar issues.
"Parents drive the content of the site," Licata added. "No subject is off limits. We respond to parent questions and answers once they are reviewed by a counselor." The site also contains podcasts on important subjects like how to speak with your son or daughter, dating, peer pressure and how to have a healthy relationship with your child.
The site also features articles and discussions about punishment, suicide prevention, dating violence, self-control, preventing child abuse and parenting standards. Helplines are listed and the content is updated weekly. "Visit ParentCentral.Net and discover all that the site has to offer. It's free, anonymous and a wonderful resource to guide parents everywhere," Licata added.]]>
William Isemann, President and CEO of KidsPeace
The tragic shooting in Arizona last month should be a wake-up call for us all because it could have been prevented. It was alarming to learn that gunman Jared Loughner exhibited behavior indicative of mental health issues for several years, but had never received the help he needed.
Alarming, but not surprising, in light of the fact that funding for mental health services has been drastically reduced over the same time period.
Young people, who should be hospitalized or in residential treatment facilities, are being referred to an overloaded outpatient system or, like Loughner, expelled from school because they are seen as threats to the student body and faculties. Without treatment, the issues troubling these kids worsen, escalating into the type of tragedies we witnessed in Arizona and more recently, in California, where a school shooting resulted in the death of a school administrator.
As President and CEO of KidsPeace, a Lehigh Valley, PA-headquartered nonprofit that provides mental health care to children, teens and young adults, I have witnessed dramatic transformations. I've seen children who were literally "saved" by well-trained medical staff and clinicians applying tailored treatment plans of counseling, medication, education and hard work. The complexity of needs we see today is unprecedented and often demands that we intervene quickly to provide care -- wherever they are needed to save a child.
Budget reductions by federal, state and local entities, as well as reduced insurance payments, have had an enormous impact on services for children. Fewer and fewer emotionally and mentally impaired children are receiving the identification, diagnosis and treatment they need. There is little funding available for outpatient treatment, and much less for hospital or residential care that would help children heal and become productive members of our communities.
Schools must also take a more proactive role in identifying students with mental health issues, ensuring that they are referred to counselors, physicians, psychologists, social workers or clinicians for the help they need. If parents refuse or are unable to recognize signs of illness in their children, our schools need to inform the proper social services, medical or law enforcement authorities that a child is spiraling out-of-control and possibly toward a violent act.
Prevention is key. We are calling on all public and private schools to adopt a "Threat Assessment System" which outlines symptoms, available help and procedures if any incident takes place.
Dr. Peter Langman, KidsPeace psychologist and author of the book,
"Why Kids Kill: Inside the Minds of School Shooters," recommends schools implement a plan based on Guidelines for Responding to Student Threats of Violence published by Cornell and Sheras.
Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett is standing firm in his commitment not to increase taxes for our residents. He and his new Cabinet are currently reviewing state expenditures to determine where reductions should be made. Adding our voice to the other 130 agencies throughout the state that provide services to support tens of thousands of at-risk children and families, KidsPeace is urging our new governor to maintain revenue for Children and Youth services at the current level. A total of 59% of KidsPeace funding comes through the state. Those reductions would have a very significant negative impact on hundreds of children who depend on KidsPeace and other providers to serve, heal and help children grow.
Removing money today from mental health care budgets will only cost more in the long run – both in financial and human costs. There is a strong linkage between mental health disorders and juvenile justice behaviors. Research shows that approximately 70% of children already involved with the juvenile justice system have a diagnosable mental health disorder, and approximately 25% of children have a mental health disorder so severe it interferes with their ability to function.
The system failed a young man in Arizona and he unleashed terror on his innocent victims. Other young people out there deal with similar demons. Are we willing to allow the system to fail them as well? Some act out by bullying, torturing animals or terrorizing their families. Others bring guns to school football games, search the web for plans to build bombs or attempt suicide. They are unable to deal with their anxiety, depression or other emotional or mental problems without treatment from professionals.
As a society, as a nation, as a community – we must hear their cries and make a firm commitment to provide the hope, help and healing they so desperately need.]]>
KidsPeace Introduces New Art Therapy Program in PA Residential
By John Muraco, Art Therapist
At the Inventor Center on the Orchard Hills campus in Orefield, PA, art therapy is a fairly recent addition to an already dynamic expressive and recreational therapeutic program. If you ask an art therapist, "What is art therapy?" you are sure to receive a different response from every individual. Some views on this creative therapeutic modality have been shaped by the vision of the art healing process that offers individuals a way to self-understanding, behavioral change and emotional reparation[1]. This vision, coupled with specific therapeutic goals and clinical understanding, can guide a therapist in presenting a client with a way to process emotions, explore his or her life story and build self-esteem.
KidsPeace has provided the expressive team with an opportunity to develop ways of fostering creative growth, emotional awareness and self-expression. As an art therapist, my intention has been to provide our teens with a safe therapeutic space that allows them a degree of free and healthy exploration of their adolescent impulses. Such a space provides clients with a platform for choice making: It gives them the time necessary to gain some mastery of a chosen medium, and encourages the use of images to express emotions that cannot be communicated in words. The sessions even allow them the freedom to sit silently and rebel. As an art therapist working within the residential milieu, I have grown increasingly aware of the importance of striking a balance between the developmental teenage need for freedom and a respect for the structures and boundaries. In the search for approaches that encourage this balance, I began to incorporate the use of photography in art therapy sessions.
In her very useful book[2] Judy Weiser explores the use of photography in therapy. She specifies that clients who utilize phototherapy techniques do not need to be camera-savvy and that personal exploration and discovery are welcome while using this medium. A client can use photography as a stepping-stone for creative expression, insight and emotional communication, thus promoting personal emotional communication as central and to encourage it in every way.
To accomplish a photography exercise, I dug up three digital cameras at home that I had received from friends and brought them into a session. Working in groups of three, the girls spent the first session getting used to their cameras at their own pace and with freedom of choice: They were able to take as many or as few pictures as they wanted. The theme for the second session was "Relationships." The girls were asked to first think of a relationship they have with another person, positive or negative and then to take pictures of subject matter that represented them and the other individual. They were allowed to explore their outdoor environment, making certain that they were within my visual field but still able to walk a distance ahead of the pack if they wished. They marveled at their surroundings and focused in on details in nature.
A number of them used the camera and pictures to process major events in their lives. Client M wrote a letter to her friend who had died and then buried the letter (that contained what she wished she could have expressed to this person) in a ceremony that she photographed. She was able to use the photography sessions as a way to "say goodbye" to her friend who passed away during M's stay at KidsPeace. Another client, S, took pictures of the clouds, sky and sunlight that prompted her to start a conversation with her about death and loss. S was also able to write down some of her feelings about this process in a piece she titled "Heaven." She wrote: "In photography, I have learned ways of expressing my feelings in photos, I've learned what some meanings to things are and I've learned that some things in nature can relate to others relationships." Through their images, these teens are confronting deep emotional truths that will help them move forward. The process of taking photographs and the physical evidence of their accomplishments, build self-esteem.
Photography is the first digital medium these teens have explored in art therapy, and their emotional responses to it have been important (strong and rewarding). I look forward to watching our expressive team grow and bearing witness to the emotional communication of the boys and girls at KidsPeace.
By Leslie Ten Broeck, LCSW, KidsPeace Sanctuary Coordinator
KidsPeace is totally committed to implementing the Sanctuary Model at all levels of care, with implementation beginning in residential programs in Pennsylvania. Sanctuary is a model of trauma-informed care and organizational change that is important to the care and treatment of all clients. The Core Team for Sanctuary at KidsPeace numbers 37 members and includes seven subcommittees (called "Action Groups"), which address different aspects of Sanctuary at KidsPeace.
The Sanctuary Institute in New York has developed a certification process, which includes a published list of standards that need to be met in order to be certified. KidsPeace is working toward SI certification in 2012. The certification process is lengthy and culminates in representatives from the Sanctuary Institute spending several days at our site reviewing records and practices, observing the daily functioning of all departments of the organization and interviewing staff, administration and clients.
What is the Sanctuary Model?
Sanctuary represents a trauma-informed method for changing an organizational culture in order to provide an ideal therapeutic environment for everyone who is a part of that environment. This model reflects the understanding that trauma can be experienced by all members of an organization, staff and clients, and that the agency as a whole is dynamic and can be negatively impacted by experiences within the organization. Thus, Sanctuary seeks to create a culture of physical, psychological, social and moral safety for all who are part of the organization.
The Aims of Sanctuary:
• Increased perceived sense of community through the creation of a nonviolent environment
• Increased degree of "social immunity" to the spread of violence
• Increased capacity for "social learning"
• Increased democratic decision-making and shared responsibility in problem-solving and conflict resolution
• Ability to deal with complexity
• Opportunity for all clients and staff to experience a truly safe and connected community
• Opportunity for troubled clients to have corrective emotional, relational and environmental experiences
• Reduced episodes of violence including verbal, physical and sexual forms of harassment, bullying and violence on part of staff and clients
• Reduced critical incidents
• Improved job satisfaction
• Reduced staff turnover
• Improved client satisfaction
• The promotion of collective recovery, healing and growth.
The goals of Sanctuary are to guide an organization in the development of a trauma-sensitive culture with seven dominant characteristics, all of which serve goals related to trauma resolution and model good relational and parenting skills. These are known as the Seven Commitments:
o Commitment to Nonviolence: to understand what different forms of violence do to children and adults
o Commitment to Emotional Intelligence: to promote an increase in emotional self-awareness
o Commitment to Social Learning: to promote a therapeutic teaching and learning environment where we learn from past experience
o Commitment to Shared Governance: to develop a community of shared decision-making and discussion
o Commitment to Open Communication: to be courageous enough to speak openly, honestly and respectfully, in order to resolve problems in a supportive manner
o Commitment to Social Responsibility: to develop a therapeutic community of justice, fair play and responsibility
o Commitment to Growth and Change: to help develop a community of creativity, imagination and hope for a better future.]]>
By Tom Culver, State Manager, KidsPeace North Carolina Foster Care and Community Programs
One of the greatest challenges facing agencies that provide services to high-risk children and families in community settings is the need to have a well defined Model of Care that is understood and implemented by all involved in service provision. The need for a well defined Model of Care that is supported by research to demonstrate a positive impact on the life outcomes of the families and children we serve becomes increasingly important as the effects of both child welfare reform and mental health reform demand that foster care and community services serve clients who may have otherwise been served in a more intensive residential treatment setting. KidsPeace Foster Care and Community Programs (FCCP) has embraced a Model of Care that is based on Resiliency Theory.
Resiliency Theory arose from the study of the characteristics and life histories of those high-risk individuals who experienced adversity yet managed to avoid poor life outcomes such as: substance abuse; dropping out of school; social and relational problems; mental/emotional problems; problems with law enforcement; and vocational instability. The studies contributing to the theory of resilience refer to various cross-cultural lifespan developmental studies on the lives of children who were born into families and environments that provided serious risk and adversity to the healthy development of the child. Studies include: children born to parents who suffered from mental illness and/or severe chronic substance abuse problems; children raised in homes that subject them to severe neglect and /or abuse; and children raised in environments with severe poverty, crime and instability. Surprisingly, the findings from these long-term studies were that at least 50% - and often closer to 70% - of youth growing up in these adverse conditions developed the life skills necessary to overcome the odds and lead successful lives.
The greatest benefit
derived from this research on children who have overcome significant adversity
and have thrived in spite of it, is a list of common characteristics found in
the lives of these individuals. The list of common characteristics known as "protective
factors" has become a focus in the KidsPeace Model of Care as these
characteristics appear to counterbalance the adverse effects that "risk
factors" have on a developing child or on any individual struggling with
excessive levels of stress brought on by too much risk/adversity. <<Read More>>
Jordan Burnham is a confident, articulate young man who makes appearances to speak about mental health awareness and encourage youth to seek help when things are bothering them. Jordan speaks from experience and from his heart, which is why the kids who hear him pay close attention and feel comfortable asking him questions.
Jordan recently visited Dr. Julius Licata, Director of TeenCentral.Net, and graciously gave a talk to the teens who are in treatment at KidsPeace in the PA Residential Programs, making quite an impression on the kids and adults who heard his presentation. He also talked to the members of TeenCentral.Net via videotape, hoping to help teens feel more comfortable about admitting they have problems and seeking help.
Jordan's Story
Jordan learned early on that wearing a happy mask was the best way to keep up appearances and pretend to be "normal." His true feelings were deep inside and only came to the surface when he had consumed a lot of alcohol. His "cover" for seeming happy included sports, jokes and dating. He became very popular and won the election to be class president in 9th grade. All the while, he was hiding feelings from his family and friends. Then he failed his driving test for the third time and lost his cool for the first time, yelling, screaming and cursing at his father. His mother took him to a counselor, but he found it hard to relate to her. He was diagnosed with depression in 10th grade.
Jordan Burnham
As Jordan entered 11th grade, he felt more pressure to do well on his standardized tests and make sure his slipping grades got better in order to get accepted by a good college. It was in 11th grade that he started thinking about suicide. He was taken to a "mental hospital" after telling his girlfriend that he was going to take pills to end his life. Hearing about the problems of the other youth in the hospital made Jordan feel that his issues were minimal and actually apologized in group for "only" suffering from depression. The hospital counselor told him that his depression was a serious issue that needed treatment just as much as the conditions of the other youth.
After he was released, Jordan experienced great guilt for doing things that in his mind disappointed his parents, both of whom are educators. He drank more and more and was caught drinking illegally twice. The final blow was when he threw a party while his parents were out of town, serving alcohol to school athletes. The party was broken up by the police, and Jordan felt he had truly hurt his parents with his behavior.
Senior year arrived, with Jordan being nominated to the homecoming court and playing golf so well that he was headed for the playoffs. His parents confronted him with two duffle bags of alcohol that were in his trunk. They were sad and disappointed.
Jordan felt terrible about letting his family down. He went to his room and jumped from his 9th floor bedroom window, fracturing his pelvis, tibia, fibula, jaw, femur and ribs and waking up after a 5 day coma with a tracheotomy tube in his throat to allow him to breath. Doctors were amazed that he had survived, but they were not optimistic about his ever walking again. Imagine being in your senior year of high school and being confined to a hospital and then a rehabilitation facility.
A reporter heard about Jordan and asked if he could write his story. Jordan insisted that the focus of the story be on mental health issues and the importance of getting help for problems no matter how young a youth is. The article was published on the front page of the newspaper, and Jordan began receiving many calls and emails thanking him for sharing his story.
Jordan attended his senior prom in a wheel chair and used a walker to receive his diploma. Today, Jordan walks on his own, but with difficulty.
See a video of Jordan's presentation at www.TeenCentral.Net
Speaking Out
Jordan has made it his mission to take his story to audiences that will benefit from hearing about his struggles. He has appeared on CNN, ESPN, "Good Morning America," "The Doctor Phil Show," "Good Day Philadelphia," "The Early Show" and the Phil Eskin radio show and has nearly 1,000 of fans on Facebook. He also appeared in a documentary directed by Joe Pantoliano called "No Kidding, Me Too!" and was featured in a People Magazine article that highlighted "The Heroes Among Us."
To Jordan, his most important role is as a speaker for Active Minds, a nonprofit that promotes the discussion of Mental Health issues through chapters on college campuses. Jordan travels the country for individual speaking engagements and is a panel member with other members of the elite group of Active Mind speakers called "The Heard." He has had people who have heard him speak contact him to say that he helped dissuade them from suicide, a wonderful byproduct of being on the speakers' circuit for Jordan.
And what does the future hold for Jordan Burnham? At 21, he would like to finish writing a book about his experiences this year and continue to reach to as many young people as possible with his presentations and appearances. He has been invited to appear on the Oprah show, as well. Jordan takes medication for his depression and still sees a therapist. He will eventually return to college to finish his last 2 years, but, right now, helping others is the most important job he can imagine.
Child Welfare and Children's
Mental Health Services:A Decade of Transformation
By Ken Olson, LCPC, Executive Director, KidsPeace National Centers of New England
In the most recent decade, both of these have undergone
significant transformations: Underlying philosophies have been questioned, and
new paradigms have emerged. Providers of these services to children and
adolescents have scrambled to adapt, to differentiate "fad" from "trend" and to
remain true to organizational mission, vision and values. The changes have
been, at times, tumultuous, with mature agencies going out of business and new
agencies and new models of care growing and disappearing rapidly. Other new
models have become a new standard of excellence, with long-standing providers
of one service in one location adapting and diversifying into multi-service,
multi-state and multi-regional providers. While there has been loss, there has
also been a real opportunity to better serve children and families with new and
more effective strategies and interventions. >>> Read More >>>
On Friday, January 7, 2011, KidsPeace was fortunate to be visited by the reigning Miss PA's Outstanding Teen, Jocelyn Gruber, and her mom, Paula. The pair braved the snow in the morning to meet with Director of TeenCentral.Net Dr. Julius Licata and tour the KidsPeace residential facilities and schools in Orefield, PA, and film Jocelyn speaking about her own teen years and the problems she has encountered before and after winning the state pageant.
Jocelyn is a beautiful, energetic and personable young lady who is filled with the desire to bring the pageant to people everywhere in the state. She has a strong ethic and a loving, caring attitude that aims to please. For many reasons, this was a very special visit for Jocelyn, as she spent her first 10 years being raised at a facility that is similar to KidsPeace because both of her parents were counselors there. Growing up with her brothers in this environment may explain her keen understanding of kids' problems and wisdom beyond her 17 years.
Paula Gruber is the effervescent mom who is obviously very proud of her daughter's accomplishments and quickly informs the listener that she is equally proud of her two sons now serving in the Navy. Both graduated from Annapolis, and they are currently serving their country. Jocelyn, who beams whenever her brothers are mentioned, echoes the closeness of this family. She is quick to let you know that her dad is her greatest fan.
Jocelyn toured Headquarters and then went for a tour of the KidsPeace Hospital where she met with staff and children. Anyone with her immediately realized that her love for the children was very strong. She met with the youngest group and asked if they knew who she was. The answers ranged from the President to the Queen of PA, which, I guess, is not that far away from who she is or how she felt with these children. They enjoyed the visit and were able to touch her crown, ask questions and just talk to her.
Her next stop was to the Donley Education Center where she met with about 15 teens. These teens were, at first, quite reluctant to speak, but after about 5 minutes, they became totally involved and shared stories, asked questions and laughed along with this outstanding teen.
Jocelyn then returned to headquarters and to the TC.N office and spoke to teens via video camera about her life and difficulties and how you have to be ready to sacrifice for what you really want. Her message was loud and clear as she encouraged teens to go for it all.
"You can have it all, you just can't have it all at one time."
Both Jocelyn and Paula plan to come back again soon to meet with more teens and to possibly film Paula for ParentCentral.Net. After a brief visit of just 4 or 5 hours, one can be assured that there is no shortage of stars in this family.
What is Miss Pennsylvania's Outstanding Teen?
The Miss America's Outstanding Teen title is earned through local, regional and then state competitions presented by this scholarship-based program that offers accomplished teens opportunities to win funds for college. Outstanding young women compete on their scholastic achievement, creative accompli
shment, healthy living and community involvement. In the past five years, the organization has awarded more than $3 million in college scholarships.
Jocelyn earned the title of Miss Greater Johnstown Outstanding Teen and then won the competition in June to be crowned Miss Pennsylvania's Outstanding Teen. She also won the talent award for her piano performance. In August, Jocelyn was honored as one of the top 10 at the national competition for Miss America's Outstanding Teen, winning a $1,500 scholarship.
Each competitor has a platform, and Jocelyn's is: "A Call to Service: Motivating Today's Youth through the United States Public Service Academy." She hopes to encourage other teens to participate in public service. Jocelyn is a member of the National Honor Society, "Who's Who in Foreign Language," Outstanding Achievement in Foreign Languages, National Young Leaders Council and the Fast Track program at Slippery Rock University.
Julius Licata is thrilled to have Jocelyn as a supporter of TeenCentral.Net and is happy that the relationship between the Miss Pennsylvania group and TeenCentral.Net has been strong since 2002, when Autumn Marisa, the current Executive Director of Miss PA's Outstanding Teen, was Miss Pennsylvania herself. To learn more about the program, visit http://misspaoteen.org/meet.htm.
Jocelyn visits with Executive Vice President for Business Development Michael Slack and TeenCentral.Net Director Julius Licata at KidsPeace
Callie Cardamon is a talented artist with a generous heart and deep love for children everywhere. She has a background in counseling and was searching for volunteer work that she could do from her home computer when she found TeenCentral.Net, the KidsPeace website that gives teens a safe, anonymous place to write about their feelings and receive sound advice from trained counselors. Callie signed up as a volunteer, received training and began spending at least two afternoons a week responding to posts from troubled teens.
In the process, Callie began corresponding with Julius Licata, Director of TeenCentral.Net, and a wonderful friendship developed between them. As she got to know more about Julius and learn about the KidsPeace mission and many wonderful programs, Callie decided that she should write a song for KidsPeace that could serve as source of hope to our children and persuade donors to dig a little deeper to help our kids. It was important to Callie to finish this song in time for Thanksgiving and have it be her gift to KidsPeace and Julius.
The result is a beautiful
ballad entitled "Love Is On The Way," which can be heard on Callie's website,
http://www.calliecardamon.com/publicfiles/Love_Is_on_the_Way.mp3. Callie is donating 100% of the proceeds of this song to KidsPeace in hopes that the song will give KidsPeace and TeenCentral.Net more exposure and inspire people to donate to the organization. "It never occurred to me not to donate 100% of the song's profits to KidsPeace," Callie said. The very first letter I answered on TeenCentral.Net said 'please send hope as fast as you can,' and that really touched me. Even the possibility of hope can help kids hang on a bit longer. I hope all of the teens who post on TeenCentral.Net will get some hope from this song."
Callie was not sure that the song was finished, but, when she learned that Julius had been ill, she knew it said what she wanted to say, so she recorded it in order to get it to KidsPeace by Thanksgiving. Callie recorded the song with Kimberly Kim, a former student who moved to friend and colleague. "That is Kim's angelic voice singing the high harmonies on the song," Callie told us. Callie has become a second mother to Kim who works for the American Red Cross and has spent months and months of her young life helping out on international health campaigns.
A resident of Pasadena, CA, Callie records her beautiful interpretations of jazz and American standards and shares her gifts on her website, www.calliecardamon.com. KidsPeace feels blessed to have Callie on its side and expresses heartfelt thanks for her amazing contribution.
Treating Foster Children for Psychological Issues
By Gerald A. Zimmerman, Ph.D.
Many children are placed in foster care as a continuing step in helping them and their families readjust and make changes so they are safe and protected in the home environment. The placement comes about because the Children and Youth authority learns that the children were neglected, physically abused, emotionally abused or sexually abused. Each of these categories has specific definitions. For example, emotional abuse refers to non-physical, gross maltreatment that results in the child being humiliated, demeaned or degraded in some way, or failure to respect the dignity of the child as a worthy human being. The impact of the abuse and neglect of the child has implications that remain for many years to come.
A child who experiences neglect will respond in different ways depending on his characteristics. There are two main types of developing characteristics in children: the active, outgoing type and the reserved cautious type. Drs. Stella Chess and Alexander Thomas have identified these children in a comprehensive developmental study of children. Not all children react the same, and it is the interaction of their environment and their personal characteristics that results in unique responses. For a neglected child, the response may be seen in an outgoing, assertive and bold child to take charge of his experiences and try to prepare meals and comfort the younger children. For a cautious and fearful child, the response to neglect may be to withdraw and become anxious and cower in the corner. With long-term neglect, the patterns become established, and the responses become characteristic of the child, even after the child is given the opportunity to live in a more stable, predictable environment. It takes a great deal of time for the child to make changes and become comfortable and trusting of those around him or her in the new environment.
Regardless of the types of abuse and the child response style, when a child experiences the neglect or abuse, the effect is to lower the sense of self-worth. If the parent is unresponsive to the needs (neglect), the child develops a sense of worthlessness. If the parent is unreliable and inconsistent, the child develops a sense of the environment as unsafe and experiences anxiety. If the child is the victim of sexual or physical abuse, the response is often to fear the adult and to experience the self as weak and ineffective. The different child characters, however, may react to these experiences in different ways. The cautious child may become even more nervous and upset and develop mental health problems, whereas the active child who engages his environment may make attempts to become more aggressive and controlling and develop behavioral problems.
Children who react to the inadequacies of parenthood may develop mental health and behavioral disturbances. The behaviors become routine ways of responding. Some children may develop a sense of inadequacy, demonstrating a dependency more pronounced than would be expected typically at their age. The children may vary in severity of disturbance, but almost all experience some type of difficulty because of the problems identified in the dysfunctional family.
All children experience a great deal of transitional stress when they are first contacted by the children's authority in the county for the purpose of removing them from the home. It is my experience as a therapist for these children that they usually vividly remember the details of the day they are removed. Whether the caseworker comes to the home or the school or the police are involved, the scene is not good for anyone, but is a necessary step in the protection process and also begins the healing process. These transitional episodes can leave an emotional mark on the child, creating apprehension and anxiety, but this is alleviated to a moderate degree once the child becomes familiar and comfortable with the foster parent resource.
Despite the slow development of trust with the new family, behaviors and emotions continue to be present with the child. Often, the children who reacted in a characteristic way in their home of origin will begin to react similarly in the new home, meaning that a child who has become aggressive and demanding in the unstable environment at home will start doing the same thing in the new environment, expecting the parents to react in similar ways to their parents' behaviors. They try to create the environment they knew. It takes a great deal of patience and experience on the part of the foster parents to help the child through this period of adjustment, as the child learns that the needs will be met without these behaviors.
Typical Problems
Signs of problems in children can be many and varied. Four categories are identified here:
The anti-social child may initially present as charming and compliant but, after the shock of the transition wears off, will become passive-aggressive, manipulative and resentful and untrusting. He may demonstrate:
• Sadistic behavior and violence
• Compulsive lying and stealing
• Obsessions about sex
• Seeming lack of empathy or conscience
• Oppositional behaviors
• Defiance
• Controlling behaviors.
An overanxious and insecure child may demonstrate panic when separated from those who take care of her. She might show school avoidance, night fears, thoughts about losing a parent and often ambivalence in the relationship with the caregiver. She may demonstrate the following:
• School anxiety
• Trouble falling asleep at night
• Fear of being alone
• Depression when separated from a parent
• Worries about illness, injury or death
• Nightmares with the theme of loss
• Intense love-hate relationships with caregivers.
The asocial and withdrawn child may have become cool and indifferent and show a remarkable lack of anxiety about his isolation from others. She has developed a thick emotional barrier to protect herself from hurt from the agony of separation from those with whom the child has been intimate. The child appears emotionally blunted and inept socially and may have developed a deep distrust of others. The characteristic features of this type of child may be seen in:
• Defects in the capacity to develop relationships
• Lack of strong social desire
• Lack of concern for isolation from others
• Few observed needs for affection and emotional attachments
• Lack of spontaneous emotional expression
• Oblivious to others
• Lack of self-awareness.
The inadequate/dependent child clings to caregivers and exhausts the foster parent with unbounded needs. She can cling to anyone instantly but is usually superficially attached. She requires guidance and constant attention. The child may be submissive and show no signs of rebellion or a difference of opinion. She demonstrates very little confidence and may show:
• Insatiable neediness
• Submissiveness
• Learned helplessness and low self-esteem
• Lack of interest in negotiating the environment
• Flatness of emotion
• Lack of vitality
• Sense of apathy and futility, and emotional voids.
There are still other children who demonstrate a combination of factors, and, as such, their behaviors may be hard to predict. Children may demonstrate differing degrees of reactions, with some strong in their reactions and others milder. It is likely that most children who are placed in care will demonstrate some reaction to the transition to care and carry over their legacy of responses from the home of origin. It is the struggle of foster parents to help the child become less reactive in a negative way and to learn to trust and feel secure, safe and encouraged to grow through the stages of development to experience self-worth, confidence and an ability to cope with new stress in a meaningful and effective way.
Much of the information provided in this article is from the foster parent-training segment for the KidsPeace Foster Care and Family Program. t
Chess, Stella and Alexander Thomas (1996). Temperament: Theory and Practice. Psychology Press, Taylor and Francis Group, New York.
Reistroffer, Mary (1972). What You Always Wanted to Know About Foster Care But Didn't Have the Time or the Chance to Bring Up. Child Welfare League of America, Inc., New York pp 2-3.
Rex, Elizabeth L. A Letter to a Foster Child, in Children Today, Child Welfare League of America, Inc., New York, May-June, 1973, pp 1-2.
Dr. Zimmerman received his Ph.D. in Psychological Studies from Temple University and has been a Clinical Psychologist with KidsPeace since 1982. He performs clinical assessments and conducts group therapy and consultations and works with children in residential treatment and foster care.]]>
By Loren Buckner, MSW, LCSW
More than ever before, doctors are prescribing antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications to kids and parents who are overwhelmed by how they feel. Practically every day, newspapers are filled with stories about families and children in crisis. Overeating, under-eating, addictions of varying kinds have become common ways of coping with unwanted feelings.
Parents can change this trend. Emotions, even the painful ones, need to be understood instead of avoided. Hateful feelings don't have to become destructive. However disagreeable, feelings can be talked over, worked with and tamed. Learning to be curious about emotions, instead of afraid or critical, can make accepting them much easier.
Dedicated parents are better informed than ever before about what their kids need. Understanding their child's psychological, emotional and physical development is one of their highest priorities. How to handle potty-training, temper-tantrums, learning disabilities and the stress of adolescence are all pressing issues parents never feel they know enough about.
Parents have a tendency, though, to pay much less attention to understanding their own emotional lives, missing an important link in the process of conscientious parenting. Of course, reading about how to best raise kids is important. But how can parents help their sons and daughters feel comfortable with their feelings if they are uncomfortable and frightened by their own?
Parenthood stirs up a wide assortment of emotions. Mothers and fathers eagerly look forward to the delightful and satisfying ones. But there are others – feelings that rock parents to their core. The painful nature of parenting is not a topic most parents like to talk about, but, because the parent-child relationship is so intense and so personal, these feelings are inevitable and nothing to be ashamed of.
It is not uncommon for parents who have done their "preparing for parenthood homework" to feel frustrated and disappointed in themselves. Knowing what to do and having the ability to do it are two very different skills. Parents know they should be consistent, for example, but how do they accomplish this when what feels acceptable can change from day to day depending on how tired they are or on what side of the bed they awakened? Parents know that they should not lose their tempers, but it is something that happens to all parents. How do parents cope with the guilt, worry, disappointment, anger and loss – as much a part of family life as the joys and rewards – without these feelings fueling self-doubt and ruining their most important relationships?
The first step is to recognize that feelings – even the painful ones – are a normal part of parenting. Painful feelings are disturbing and confusing, but even good parents sometimes feel bad about themselves and do not always feel loving toward their children and partners either.
Maybe a child has a different temperament from his parent, gets into trouble or doesn't like school, sports or playing a musical instrument. Maybe she won't be as religious or choose the life-partner or career the parent had hoped for. These are just a few of the many possible disappointments parents must learn how to accept without letting their feelings overwhelm them or their children.
Parents must also find a way to put their worry into perspective. There's no escaping this feeling either. Parents can't wait until their children can walk, but then they'll worry about them wandering away. Parents worry about their children making the right friends and doing well in school. They'll really worry if their child gets into trouble or becomes ill. And in addition to their never-ending concerns about their kids, parents periodically question themselves. Sooner or later all parents, regardless of their particular situation, ask, "Am I a good enough parent?" Worries like these, to one degree or another, begin with pregnancy and continue throughout parents' lives.
Guilt is another emotion with which parents are quite familiar because they do lose their tempers, say the wrong thing, give in when they know they shouldn't or feel grouchy because they're tired or upset. Parents often know they're not living up to the good parenting advice they've read about over and over and therefore feel guilty, angry and disappointed in themselves. This, too, is parenthood.
Conscientious parents know how important it is to provide kids a home filled with safety and security. But as they're building this solid foundation for their kids, they are also establishing a strong bond to their kids. Bravely encouraging children to begin individuating means parents will battle feelings of being left behind. The experiences of separation, letting go, watching as children develop independence, are rewarding for sure. But it also triggers feelings of sadness and loss – emotions parents must accept without making their kids feel guilty or afraid. The pain this creates may be another aspect of parenting for which mothers and fathers feel completely unprepared.
Anger is a feeling parents expect to have, but they are often shocked by its intensity. Hateful feelings directed at the people parents love the most are painful and difficult experiences, but managing them is crucial. Although seemingly contradictory, it isn't so bad for parents to occasionally lose their tempers, as long as they don't lose control. Saying or doing something damaging to self-esteem or their children's ability to trust them is the kind of anger to avoid. Protecting children, no matter how upset the parent is, is essential because hurtful words and frightening scenes have long echoes.
It is a parent's obligation to recognize when there's a problem. Self-doubt, and even worse, self-hatred are depressing, distracting and not very conducive to effective parenting. And when parents, in spite of their efforts to do otherwise, have frequent emotional outbursts, find themselves retaliating against their children, or when family trust and stability have become undermined, then it's a good idea to seek help.
Emotions, however powerful, don't define a person's character – it's how parents react that's important. Parents love their kids but sometimes can't stand them; they wouldn't trade places with anyone but, from time to time, imagine walking out and changing their names. They struggle with painful, distasteful feelings alone, believing that something is wrong with them. These darker emotions are far from what young couples imagine when they decide to take the leap into parenthood. But this is parenthood.
Parents have an important life-defining opportunity – teaching children how to incorporate feelings into their lives instead of judging, ignoring or hiding them. They can help kids understand that anger, worry, sadness disappointment and fear are not signs of weakness but are signs of life. Before parents can do this for their kids, they need to learn this for themselves. It's only after parents are comfortable in their own skins that they can teach their children to be comfortable in theirs.
Loren Buckner lives in Tampa, Florida, and has been a psychotherapist in private practice for more than 20 years. She is the author of a forthcoming book on parents and their emotions. She can be reached at 813-915-0076 or at email@example.com.]]>
]]> To learn more about "Children's Grief Awareness Day," visit HighMark's Caring Place website at
To learn more about "Children's Grief Awareness Day," visit HighMark's Caring Place website athttp://www.highmarkcaringplace.com/cp2/index.shtml
The View from the Other Side of the Desk: Are you a 'challenging parent?'
What special education teachers want you to know
by Ellen Notbohm
As transitions go, my son's transition to middle school had been smoother than any parent with an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) in hand could hope for. It had been a very good year with very good teachers. But, as the year wound down with alarming speed, the scheduling of the annual IEP meeting just wasn't happening. Repeated requests – at increasing decibel level – to resource teachers went unresolved amid scheduling problems, administrative issues, illnesses and other roadblocks. When we finally did meet, five days before the end of the school year, I told the excellent resource teacher only half-jokingly, "You're almost there. Only five more days and then you are done with me."
And this excellent teacher stopped in his tracks and looked at me with surprise. "Oh no," he said. "No. I have had some challenging parents this year, and you are not one of them."
At that, it was my turn to stop in my tracks. What, I wanted very much to know, constitutes a "challenging" parent? It was too intriguing a thought to leave on the table so, a few months later, we came back to it. His very thoughtfully painted portrait of a "challenging" parent led me to ask other special educators, teachers of students aged toddler to high school across several different school districts, the same question. And, while each came from his/her own unique situation, the common threads in their thoughts were striking. A number of these common threads formed the basis for my book Ten Things Your Student with Autism Wishes You Knew. Here then is the view from the other side of the desk, the voice of your special education teacher:
Be team-oriented
A combative attitude does not enhance our ability to make progress with your child. Our relationship should be an alliance, not an adversarial face off. We are all here because of the child; he or she is our common interest, and it is important not to lose sight of that. It is not about me or you, or whether we like each other.
Give me the courtesy of a clean slate. You may have had bad experiences with previous teachers or schools, but putting past conflicts or issues onto me, coming in with guns blazing before you even have a chance to get to know me or my program is counterproductive. "This is what has happened in the past, and I expect the same from you" is looking for trouble where it is possible that none exists.
There is a difference between being assertive and being aggressive – and there is a cost. Teachers appreciate parents who are knowledgeable, effective advocates for their children. Knowing your rights and knowing the facts of your situation, and requesting services and accommodations firmly but respectfully are light years removed from being a fist-pounder.
We are not here for the money or the recognition. We are here because we love these kids. In an ideal world, I want to share with the parent any inside perspective I have about 'the system' and how it affects decisions made about their child. But, if I sense in any way that the parent will use the information in a way that comes back on me or threatens my job, it is only natural that I will not share.
Undermining me undermines your child's learning. Communicating to your child that everything that is going wrong is the school's fault undermines your child's ability to trust me, to comply with necessary classroom boundaries and, ultimately, to learn.
All children, even special needs children, need to assume some level of responsibility for their behavior and its consequences. We are sometimes faced with parents who say, "I cannot believe my child would do such a thing. It must be somebody else's fault. If you had been doing this, he wouldn't have been doing that." Sometimes that's the case. However, when a parent insists it is always the case, I need to gently suggest that a closer look be taken at what is actually going on.
Step back and listen as open-mindedly as possible when faced with information that makes your blood pressure rise. It's very common for children to exhibit a different set of behaviors at school than they do at home.
Having to be both teacher and case manager can put me in a very difficult position. Especially in early childhood education, it often falls on the teacher/case manager to identify the fact that my particular classroom or program isn't the best fit for your child.
Please know that, when I tell you we need to transition your child to a different setting, it isn't because I 'don't like him.' Hear me as objectively as possible when I tell you that he is struggling too hard in the current placement and would benefit from a different setting, that we need to modify the Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP) or IEP and find a better environment.
Don't assume I know everything about your child. I may only have the prior year's academic information, and perhaps no personal information at all. Tell me anything you think is important for me to know about your "whole child." Be a resource for us, a bridge between programs. Share with us what has worked or not worked with your child in the past.
We cannot do everything for your child. Your child is entitled by law to a free and appropriate education in the least restrictive setting. That is not equivalent to the best possible education. Think of it this way: You get the Chevy; you don't get the Cadillac. You get safe, reliable transportation, but you don't get the CD player and the leather seats. It's a distinction many parents don't understand that special education is intended to provide for adequate growth, not maximum possible growth.
Federal law mandates that we make sure that kids who have a disability are making adequate progress, as defined and measured yearly in their IEPs. The idea behind it is that, without accommodation, they wouldn't make adequate progress in general education, and therefore would not be getting a free and appropriate public education.
Let's say you have a fifth grader who is reading at a 2nd grade level. It happens; teachers commonly look at their classes and see a developmental range, so there are kids who end up in 4th or 5th grade reading several grade levels behind. So we set a goal, in a calendar year, for the child to make a year's growth, which is what his peers would make. But he is still behind; he is not catching up. In order for him to catch up, he would have to outpace his peers. Some kids do that, but it's very difficult and not realistic.
We have many commitments to multiple content areas. If we were to spend half the day on reading alone – sure, we could catch the kid up. But that's not appropriate because we give up everything else. And so we always have that discussion every year in an IEP meeting. We have a certain amount of time. How do we set goals? How much time do we need to meet each goal? How much are we going to be able to accomplish given math, science, social studies, all of these other content areas required and from which kids benefit?
Your child is not my only student. When I am meeting with you, when we are in a discussion and problem-solving mode – in that moment, your student is the only one I am concerned about. But back in my classroom, I have anywhere from a few to a few dozen other students in my caseload, and I have the scheduling restrictions that naturally come with that caseload. It simply is not possible for the needs of one child to dictate my entire day. Asking that of me is painful for both of us.
Early intervention works
Here is an extension of a universal truth: The earlier the better – and the better the earlier the better. Catch things early, intervene well and include your family, not just the school. No one was ever sorry they intervened early, but legions of families regret "waiting to see if he outgrows it."
See the positive in your child
Have an honest understanding of what the range of your child's disability means, but also recognize his strengths. Too often, the most difficult parents to work with are the ones who cannot see the positive qualities of their kid. Their focus is stuck on what the child can't do. Perhaps they do not want to have a child with a disability. Perhaps they are stuck in the grieving process. But, for the teacher, it is very hard to deal with.
Promote independence. Help your child learn to do things for himself, rather than doing them for him. Many teachers are parents themselves and understand the time stress families are under. But, whether it's homework or personal organization, expedience in the moment will impede his learning to be independent in the long run. If you pack and unpack his backpack for him every day, how will he learn the importance of being organized, knowing where things are when they are needed, how to find items or information? The parents who are most effective are the ones who teach as well as parent. The two are synonymous.
© 2006 Ellen Notbohm. This article is based on the book Ten Things Your Student With Autism Wishes You Knew, a 2006 iParenting Media Award winner.
Ellen Notbohm is author of Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew, a ForeWord 2005 Book of the Year Honorable Mention winner, and co-author of the award-winning 1001 Great Ideas for Teaching and Raising Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders. For article reprint permission, book excerpts, to learn more or to contact Ellen, please visit www.ellennotbohm.com.]]>
Children's Psychotropic Medications: Communication is key
By Pat Sullivan
Millions of children take prescription psychotropic medications to treat a wide range of conditions that can destroy their quality of life. According to Dr. Adnan B. Zawawi, Psychiatrist at KidsPeace Psychiatric Hospital, it is imperative that parents and physicians establish open communication early in a child's treatment. "At KidsPeace, we provide parents with written information on any medications we might prescribe in the admissions packet so that parents can make informed decisions regarding their children's treatment. They must give us written consent before we start any medication," Zawawi says. He also wants to dispel a common myth: "These are not drugs; they are medications. Just as we prescribe medications for hypertension, diabetes or infections, we prescribe medications for illnesses of the mind."
There are several classes of psychotropic medications that are typically prescribed for youth:
• Tricyclics – Older drugs. These medications (some brand names include Adapin, Elavil, Pamelor and Tofranil) are typically only used when SSRIs (see below) are ineffective.
• SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) – Newer antidepressants (some brand names include Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil and Lexapro) used more commonly because they restore deficits in certain neurotransmitters that facilitate communication between brain cells (neurons) and return the brain to normal functioning with few side effects.
Dr. Zawawi emphasizes that depression is a serious medical problem that causes the brain to function differently from those of individuals who are not depressed. The benefits of taking antidepressants far outweigh the risks associated with them. Dr. Zawawi also notes that NIH studies have shown that patients treated with a combination of SSRIs and therapy had higher success rates than those taking SSRIs alone or those undergoing therapy alone.
Typically, antidepressants are used for a year or two, with cessation being gradual and closely supervised by a physician. One should never abruptly stop antidepressants. Dr. Zawawi emphasizes that starting a child on an antidepressant or other psychotropic medication is a major decision that is based on improving the child's quality of life, happiness and productivity.
Mood Stabilizers
• Lithium – A salt that has been used since the 1970s to treat bipolar disorder, particularly manic episodes; depression while on Lithium may indicate that a higher dosage is needed. It is important to monitor levels of Lithium (some brand names include: Cibalith-S, Eskalith, Lithane, Lithobid, Lithonate and Lithotabs) in the blood stream and to consult with prescribing doctors before taking any medications, including, but not limited to, ibuprofen, antihypertensives, muscle relaxers and diuretics.
• Anticonvulsants – Helpful in controlling mood swings, although their main use is to prevent seizures (some brand names include Depakote, Topamax, Tegetrol, Lamictal and Clonazepam).
• Atypical Antipsychotics – Used alone or in combination with mood stabilizers can be quite effective, although it is very important to use as directed (brands include Abilify, Navene, Risperdal, Seroquel).
Bipolar disorders in adults are marked by wide-ranging mood swings from deep depression to unbridled mania, but, according to Dr. Zawawi, children experience fewer "top of the world" highs and deep troughs. Instead, bipolar children are typically irritable, cranky and miserable, with sometimes explosive mood swings that can result in unhappiness, difficulty in school and trouble with the law. "Mood disorders require medication," Zawawi says. "Lithium is the standard and has been used for a long time, but the atypicals are gaining popularity. All mood stabilizers must be used as directed."
• Antipsychotics – Older medications that effectively reduce symptoms of psychosis but can have severe side effects and do not control mood swings (some brands include: Thorazin, Mellaril, Haldol and Prolixin.)
• Atypical Antipsychotics – Very effective in controlling psychosis and mood swings (brands include: Abilify, Zyprexa, Theraciule, Geodan and Clozoril).
Psychosis and schizophrenia are serious conditions that cause people to experience visual and auditory hallucinations and delusions. The side effects of some antipyschotics can be very serious, but schizophrenic patients need to take them long term in order to function within society. The two most serious types of side effects, although rare, include: (1) extraperonial symptoms such as rigidity, stiffness, tremors and tardive dyskinesia, which is uncontrollable movement of the mouth, arms and other body parts, and (2) metabolic disorders such as diabetes, high cholesterol and weight gain. Therefore, Dr. Zawawi warns that anyone taking antipsychotics have regular blood sugar, lipid and liver function tests, as well as family history screening and close supervision. Zawawi stresses that doctors are very careful about putting children on these medications and try to use antipsychotics for as short a time period as possible.
Psychostimulants are used in the treatment of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and have been the standard for many years. Zawawi explains that these medications are not addictive and can be used into adulthood to help patients focus and control impulsivity. Although classified as stimulants, these medications (including Ritalin, Concerta and Adderal) have a calming effect on patients who suffer from ADD/ADHD. Side effects may include sleep problems and weight loss, but psychostimulants help children perform better in school, engage in less impulsive behavior, focus on tasks, have more positive social experiences and generally stay out of trouble. Zawawi says that dosage and symptoms should be closely monitored and appropriately adjusted.
Many children suffer from extreme anxiety and school phobia, which can incapacitate them socially and academically. Medications that treat anxiety are used short term for acute panic attacks because they can be addictive. Anxiety disorders are more frequently treated with SSRIs and therapy, but anxiolytics such as Xanax, Librium, Atavan and Valium can help children through especially difficult periods. Zawawi warns that use of these medications must be closely monitored and carefully tapered off in terms of dosage to prevent withdrawal symptoms.
Dr. Zawawi stresses that parents must communicate with all of the physicians who treat their children regarding prescription and over-the-counter (OTC) medications. "Parents think that they are bothering their doctor with calls to see if it is safe to give decongestants or cough syrup or even pain and fever relievers to their children, but, believe me, we would rather answer your question beforehand than have to treat serious side effects after the fact," he says. Combining psychotropic medications with others medicines can cause serious and even life-threatening reactions. "Be sure to tell your family physician about any psychotropic medications your child is taking and encourage them to contact the psychiatrist if there are any questions," Zawawi says. Many psychiatrists monitor a child's psychotropic medications for a few months and then turn administration over to the family physician, who is more familiar with the child's history.
In general, antibiotics and asthma medications are safe when taken in conjunction with psychotropics, Zawawi explains, but it is still important to report all new prescriptions to all of your child's doctors. Steroids and birth control pills can cause serious medication interactions with some psychotropics, as can fever reducers and decongestants.
Many parents do not realize that herbal and natural supplements can cause severe interactions with psychotropics as well. Dr. Zawawi tells parents that he respects their decisions if they want to try the natural route to treat their children, but herbals should not be taken in combination with any of the psychotropics. Also, parents should not administer larger doses than suggested by the manufacturer of natural or herbal remedies to their children. The adage, "if a little's good, a lot's much better" does not apply to natural or herbal supplements.
When it comes to alcohol and street drugs, Zawawi is very clear with his patients. He tells them if they combine alcohol and street drugs with their prescribed medications, they can suffer extreme sedation, excessive irritability, seizures or comas. It can truly be a lethal combination.
It can be difficult to make a decision to inform teachers, counselors and school nurses that a child is taking psychotropic medications. There are several points to keep in mind:
• Most schools do not allow children to carry and take medications of any kind in school. If your child needs mid-day administration, this has to be done by the school nurse, and the medications must be kept under lock and key in the nurse's office.
• Teachers often spend more waking hours with your child than you do. If they know what your child is taking and the possible side effects or reactions, they can watch for anything out of the ordinary and report to you and the school nurse.
• Investigate confidentiality issues in your school system to increase your comfort level. Having an illness does not mean that your child will be "labeled" or suffer discrimination of any kind. There are laws that protect against this.
• Teachers can make adaptations to accommodate your child's condition, including reduced homework, tutoring, modified tests, frequent visits to the nurse or rest room, the need to eat more frequently, rest periods in the nurse's office if overly tired, reduced physical activity, not going outside, etc.
• Often, teachers or school counselors were the first to pick up on your child's condition and referred him or her for an evaluation in the first place. They are trained to recognize possible problems.
• Teachers can arrange for your child to have a quiet place to go during over-stimulating activities, gym or even lunchtime.
• Your child may be more comfortable knowing that the teacher, nurse or counselor understands what he or she is going through and is approachable if the child does not feel well.
• Teachers can "run interference" if your child is struggling with a social or academic issue and make the situation less stressful.
• Your child may be eligible for placement in a smaller class that better meets his or her needs on a short- or long-term basis.
Dr. Zawawi stresses the importance of parents being as involved as possible in their children's treatment, medication, school life and healing. Acknowledging that parents are very busy and often do not have a great deal of time to spend with their children, he says that, at the very least, parents must:
• Monitor and administer their children's medications
• Communicate regularly with all professionals involved in their children's treatment
• Spend time with their children to observe and discuss how they are feeling, progressing, regressing, reacting to medication and getting along in school and socially• Give unconditional love and support.]]>
The 5K fundraiser was the first of its kind for the Baltimore foster care office, and the participation and enthusiasm of sponsors, volunteers and runners was wonderful. From employees of the Baltimore, DC, and Virginia KidsPeace foster care offices to staff from as far away as Pennsylvania, volunteers to the Board of Associates that supports the efforts of the office, to local businesses and sponsors, everyone worked extremely hard to make the event profitable and lots of fun for all who attended. The positive media coverage has attracted the interest of more individuals and businesses that would like to become involved in future fundraisers.
The most exciting outcome is the nearly $25,000 in cash donations and in-kind sponsorships from the businesses in O'Donnell Square in Baltimore where the finish line was set up. Many people in the running community commented that this was an impressive amount for a 5K to raise. Business owners arrived at the finish lines with their families to provide crafts for the children, food, beverages and even electricity for the speaker system from one enthusiastic restaurant. All of the merchants and volunteers truly embraced the race/walk and the foster children KidsPeace serves. Many of the sponsors also volunteered to work with our teens to help them with interview skills and internships in the future.
Baltimore City DSS was very supportive and an active partner. Ray Syndor from the Philadelphia Eagles was part of the event and was so impressed with KidsPeace that he is working on continuing a partnership in the form of a camp and other programs for our kids. One of the event's very generous sponsors (a local hotel) wants to partner with KidsPeace for next year to help plan the event. The Baltimore Foster Care Office Board of Associates and their families were very generous with their time and their donations, and Chairperson Lee Anderson provided immeasurable professionalism for the post race program. Each board member worked side by side with staff to make this event such a success, and their dedication to KidsPeace is very inspiring. Board members, interns, staff and their family members were joined by folks from Johns Hopkins, Baltimore students and local community members.
The foster families who attended and volunteered were amazed at the magnitude of the race and the community involvement on their behalf. One of the foster children summed it up by saying "Wow, This is all for us!" A big thank you to everyone who helped out and an invitation to bring friends and family to make next years race an even bigger hit.
Some 52 volunteers worked very hard on the planting, including 10 youth who are in residence at the Bowdon facility and several KidsPeace Georgia associates. State Forester Joe Burgess was there to instruct the volunteers on how the trees should be handled, planted and tended. Adding great energy to the event was KidsPeace Georgia Board of Associates Chair and KidsPeace National Board Member Dick Tisinger, who organized the army of volunteers with staff from his law firm, Tisinger & Vance, and his Agape Sunday School class from First United Methodist Church.
On Friday, October 29, Fletcher Landscape of Carrollton planted 29 larger trees, which Gene Hughes provided to KidsPeace at a huge discount. Additionally, Landscape Architect Chris Threadgill donated many hours to plan exactly where the trees would go. Carroll County EMC donated more than 30 loads of wood chips, which were placed under the ropes course to make landings softer and used as mulch around the campus.
According to Carol Doyle, a KidsPeace Georgia Board of Associates member and the person who made this entire event possible, the adult volunteers told her how much they enjoyed working with the KidsPeace kids. It was a great opportunity for them to get to know the kids and relate on a more personal level to understand exactly what KidsPeace is accomplishing with these boys and girls. It was also a great chance for the kids to see that people are willing to donate their time and efforts to make life more pleasant for them.
Scott Merritt is very appreciative to all of the volunteers and donors who made this major planting event possible and is delighted that the kids took such an interest in making their surroundings more beautiful and more pleasant for their daily activities and visits from family members, community members and neighbors.
KidsPeace Schools in Orefield, PA, are offering a new weekly class to students in residential treatment – Character Education. Teacher Michael Brady has been passionate about introducing this concept for six years and wrote his Master's Thesis on the subject. "It is experiential education that focuses on building positive relationships and setting the students up to be successful," Michael explains. Having been a teacher for 12 years, Michael realized that students needed more than content that is assessed at the end of the year to determine if the class was successful.
The students begin by sharing information about themselves with the class and developing a values agreement that they all sign to indicate their acceptance. The kids then use their own words to describe the elements of their learning environment including cooperation, trust, problem-solving, working together in safety, positive communications, discussing emotions and reacting to and accepting student feedback.
Michael has the students suggest projects that they could work on together such as student newsletters, after school programs, incentives similar to those offered in the residential houses, on-campus jobs, creating a music studio, working in a garden or working with animals. He visits each class only once a week, but his goal is to empower the students to feel comfortable with trying new things as a group.
Naming the idea after the program outlined in his thesis, Michael is hoping that the Epiphany Project will become a marketable product that can be introduced in schools and agencies around the Lehigh Valley and the nation. Michael envisions marketing the program to local schools and agencies as workshops for kids or a series of programs throughout the year, but that will be in the future.
Right now, Michael spends an hour a week in each classroom, but that time will increase as the students become more involved in the program. It is very rewarding to Michael that the students are actively participating in the classes, especially when considering that these kids are all in residential treatment at KidsPeace because of emotional, behavioral or mental health issues. Furthermore, the composition of the classes changes as children move through their treatment steps and change levels of care as they progress. Students who come from the Diagnostic Program are only at KidsPeace short term, so class members turnover often.
Michael uses a number of resources in the classes including books full of activities and quote books. He often starts class with a fun activity and then introduces a quote or writing prompt to get students thinking and talking. They are all journaling as well, learning to put their feelings on paper. The students have all created cover pages that contain their hopes, dreams, fears, self-portraits and things that are important to them.
"All in all, the kids are doing real well with this project, and I believe that character education will benefit them all while here at KidsPeace and later in life." This program is another example of how the KidsPeace Transformation is leading to innovation and interesting programs to help our kids learn and grow and heal.
KidsPeace invites you to "Put your Best Face On" for Baltimore's Foster Teens. Join us for a fun event for children and adults of all ages. Wear your Halloween costumes, dress up as a family (and that includes your 4 legged family members too) and walk or run for a great cause
Register online until October 28, 2010, or register the morning of the event.
Start (and registration) at DuBurns Arena (Corner of S. Ellwood Ave. and Boston Street) in Canton, 1301 S. Ellwood Ave. Baltimore, MD 21224
Registration begins at 7:30 am Race begins at 9:00 am Fun walk begins at 9:05 am
Course is throughout Canton and Patterson Park ending in O'Donnell Square.
The purpose of the race is to assist KidsPeace in offering training and mentoring to older foster teens as they prepare to become independent adults. All money raised goes directly to benefit kids.
For more information, contact Erin Doyle at 410-964-9329
Registration: $25 in advance/ $30 on Race Day (includes a free t-shirt)
$20 for families who are walking together (day of event )
Foster family/Foster child walk free* (day of event)
Premium t-shirts for all registered runners - size and availability NOT guaranteed on race day. Limited t-shirts available for purchase by walkers on the day of the event.
Awards: Overall Male and Female - 1st $250; 2nd $150; 3rd $100 Various prizes for age group winners: Gifts and gift certificates from Fairfield Marriott, Baltimore, Field House, the Big Screen Store, James Joyce Tavern, Starbucks, the Maryland Science Center, Applebee's and many others.
Prizes for best dressed family, most creative costume for an adult, child and pet and best "face."
Every registrant will be entered into a drawing for prizes. Winners will be selected at the awards ceremony. Must be present to win.
Trick or Treating for the kids from O'Donnell Square businesses and face painting.
Parking: On streets surrounding DuBurns Arena and O'Donnell Square.
Great refreshments in O'Donnell Square.
Volunteer: If you are unable to run or walk, please consider volunteering to help on the day of the race. Contact, Gina Seyfried at 410-964-9329.
This event is always a big hit, and competitors work very hard to win the best wings in town title. In addition to visitor ticket purchases, the wing cookers pay an entry fee and secure a spot to set up and cook their best. Foster families and children attend, and the entire community comes out to support the kids.
For more information on the event and to learn how to participate or make a donation, please call 910-223-0949.
KidsPeace has expanded and broadened its services with the opening of a new outpatient facility at its campus located at 1650 Broadway in South Bethlehem.
The new KidsPeace Family Center at Broadway will offer a spectrum of services for children and families, including a new 24-hour toll-free phone number that will serve as a referral source for parents who need help.
The Family Center will offer: Diagnostic Services, Autism Services, (Including the Sarah's Smile Summer Camp and After School Therapeutic Programs), Outpatient Therapy, Behavioral Health and Rehabilitation Services (BHRS), Drug and Alcohol Treatment, In-Home Treatment, Allied Professional Services and Referrals.
"We are very proud today to announce an exciting new chapter in our organization's 128-year-old history," said William Isemann, KidsPeace President & CEO. "This initiative expands our services to provide much-needed programs in the Lehigh Valley and broadens our mission to provide hope, help and healing to children, families and communities."
As part of this new center, KidsPeace is also launching a new toll-free phone number in the Lehigh Valley that will serve as a referral source for parents who may be struggling with their children and need assistance. 888-KP-Helps is staffed by KidsPeace Admissions Associates who will assess the caller's needs and help them navigate the system to find the best resources. At times, those callers will be referred to KidsPeace diagnostic or treatment services. Other calls may be referred to another Lehigh Valley agency better suited to meet a specific need. Help may also be accessed through a new online form at www.kidspeace.org.
The 50 children who previously resided on the Broadway Campus have been moved to the newly renovated Pioneer Center on the Orchard Hills Campus, Orefield, and have begun the school year along with all other KidsPeace residential students.
The newly constructed 9,500 square-foot center on the southwestern end of the campus will serve as the operation hub where assessments can be conducted, appointments provided and where families can access help navigating the system to locate the best resources to meet their needs.
Built on the original site of the former Wiley House, the center was completed this summer and reflects the original design of the home that began as a children's orphanage in 1882. Space in the other buildings on the campus will also be utilized for classes, services and a variety of programs and therapies. At a total cost of $3 million, the project included extensive curbing, driveway access and street renovations by the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation.
Approximately 117 full and part-time KidsPeace Associates will staff the KidsPeace Center and Broadway Campus.
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is holding its fifth annual fundraising walk in Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania on Sunday, October 10th at the Lehigh Parkway in Allentown. KidsPeace Senior Psychologist Peter Langman, PhD, is the president of the Lehigh Valley Chapter and is very active in raising awareness of suicide through this event. "Someone dies from suicide every 16 minutes in the US," according to Langman, "and suicide is the third leading cause of death in 15 - 24 year old in this country."
The walk is held every year to increase awareness of suicide, raise funds for suicide prevention and support those who have lost a loved one to suicide. Hundreds of adults and children walk in honor of friends and family members who have been lost to suicide and receive donations from supporters who sponsor their walk.
KidsPeace has a growing team of associates, their family members and youth in residential programs who walk to keep awareness of suicide high. At the end of the walk, there will be music and a chance to mingle and offer support to each other. Walkers are urged to bring a picnic lunch and blanket. Light refreshments will be served.
If you would like to join the KidsPeace team or form a team of you own for this inspiring event, visit www.outofthedarkness.org to register or to make a donation through a registered team. Search for team names by clicking on the Participant/Team Search link. All donations and walkers will make a difference and help AFSP reach out to and educate our neighbors and community members.
This year's gala will feature décor, food and drinks all inspired by the classic Academy-award winning movie starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman. The big band sounds of Steve Lippia and his 10-piece orchestra will perform "Simply Sinatra" and the evening will include a casino, silent auction and a raffle for a luxurious trip to Morocco.
Gala honorees for 2010 are J. Jackson Eaton III, attorney with Gross McGinley, and Robert and Susan Allen, long time supporters of KidsPeace. Simply Smooth of Allentown is catering and staging the event.
For more than 128 years, KidsPeace has been the nation's leading charitable organization, dedicated to children. KidsPeace provides a full continuum of mental and behavioral health programs for children and their families.
"We are excited to present this unique movie-inspired event and to also have the opportunity to honor and thank Jackson and the Allens for their continued and dedicated support," said Will Isemann, KidsPeace President and CEO.
Guests are invited to wear 1940's inspired dress or elegant black/white/grey attire. For tickets, sponsorship or more information, contact Sheri Weber at 610-799-8071 or firstname.lastname@example.com.
About KidsPeace
Founded in 1882, KidsPeace is dedicated to serving the behavioral and mental health needs of children, preadolescents, teens and young adults, offering a comprehensive range of residential treatment programs; accredited educational services, and a variety of foster care and community-based programs to give hope, help and healing to children, families and communities. KidsPeace offers services in Georgia, Indiana, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, Nevada, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Virginia and the District of Columbia]]>
September 15, 2010
Fashions from Coldwater Creek will be featured at the 24th Annual KidsPeace Auxiliary Fashion Show and Luncheon Sept. 15th from 11 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. at the Bethlehem Best Western, Rts. 512 and 22.
Since 1948, the KidsPeace Auxiliary has raised funds to support the work of providing hope, help and healing to children, families and communities. Originally founded as the Wiley House Ladies Auxiliary, the KidsPeace Auxiliary has assisted thousands of children for more than 60 years.
Tickets for the event are $25 and can be reserved by calling Sheri Weber at 610-799-8071. All proceeds for the 2010 show will benefit KidsPeace Autism programs.
KidsPeace provided another summer filled with fun and games for 150 children teens on the Autism Spectrum. Sarah's Smile is a popular camp-like day program that offers autistic children the opportunity to have fun and increase social skills in a safe and nurturing environment. The groups go on field trips, play games, make wonderful art, interact with caring staff and make many friends.
"This was a great summer for the kids," said Program Manager of Community Autism Services and Blended Case Management Paige Keeter. "We brought the older kids up to the Orchard Hills Campus every week to give them a changed of scene and a lot of room to run and play." Competitive games of Capture the Flag were great fun and became eagerly anticipated weekly events between the Lions and the Alligators. It was so popular, Paige added, that one boy who moved out west during camp called her to ask who captured the flag the next week.
Sarah's Smile was able to accommodate 126 children a day, which required careful planning by staff to ensure that vacations were factored in to provide some camp to as many kids as possible. The children, who attended four days a week, filled 14 classrooms at the KidsPeace CDCRT located on Broadway in Bethlehem. Paige was delighted that 80% of the staff were returning from the previous year, which speaks well of the program. Many have been counselors for many years, moving up in title as they complete college and receive certifications. "They form relationships with the children and with each other," Paige continued, "which only makes the experience more meaningful for everyone involved."
Field Trips
Each week, the classes go on field trips that educate and are very enjoyable. In addition to trips to the more rural Orchard Hills Campus, the kids went to several great places. They visited Flint Hill farms where they learned about milking cows, making butter and cheese and what dairy farms are all about. They also went bowling at the Rose Bowl in Allentown and got to attend a day game of the Iron Pigs baseball team. The week before the game, they took a tour of Coca Cola Stadium to see where the game would be played, where they would sit and how the facility operated inside and out. They participated in an onsite petting zoo and had a carnival to mark the last day of camp. There were moon bounces, popcorn, cotton candy, snow cones, a dunk tank and games they could play for prizes. It was a great day for the kids and staff.
The kids and staff played their last capture the flag game on the day before the carnival and had a picnic at Orchard Hills. Paige invited KidsPeace associates who do not typically interact with the kids to attend the picnic because their support throughout the summer and the entire year make it possible to serve these wonderful kids. She paired staff members up with kids as lunch buddies, and new relationships were formed that allowed the kids to ask lots of questions and meet yet more caring KidsPeace employees.
For More Information
As this summer closes, Paige is planning for next summer's Sarah Smile program. "Each year we hope to expand to accommodate more children," according to Paige. "The kids love it and so do the parents, who are great supporters." There are always many more applicants than there are spaces, so Paige keeps a list of interested participants throughout the year and always sends prior attendees invitations to apply for the following summer. The mailing is sent out in late January, and the spots are all filled by March 1.
To receive more information on Sarah's Smile Summer Program, contact Paige Keeter at 610-799-7357 or email at firstname.lastname@example.com.]]>
The real winners were the members of TeenCentral.Net, the anonymous, free website offered by KidsPeace to teens around the world where they can log on and work out their problems and concerns with advice from Master's and PhD level counselors. The site also gives teen members a safe place to add comments to other teens' posts, which do not go live until they are checked by counselors, learn about celebrities who may have experienced similar issues while growing up, read news that is relevant to them and visit pages that provide honest information about weight disorders, domestic abuse and smoking.
KidsPeace would like to thank Verizon for sponsoring the tournament, as well as the celebrities from Channel 69 News, B104 and WLEV 100.7 radio stations. We would also like to thank Susan Corbett, wife of the candidate for Attorney General Tom Corbett, for attending the tournament and touring KidsPeace facilities. The Corbetts are big fans of TeenCentral.Net, and Mr. Corbett is focusing on Internet safety for kids, which TeenCentral.Net certainly represents.
The tournament ran very smoothly and more than 4,000 people visited our campus that weekend and enjoyed the beauty of our facilities and the feeling of community that prevailed during the games. KidsPeace would like to thank all of the associate volunteers who helped with setup, helping visitors and cleanup after the games. We would also like to thank the many kids from our programs who did an amazing job helping visitors and participating in all aspects of the weekend.
KidsPeace received very positive feedback from coaches and attendees on the way the tournament was run and how well they were treated by everyone from KidsPeace. Next year's tournament will be held on August 20-21, and we hope to attract an even larger turnout for our 14th Invitational.
KidsPeace Foster Care associates and capitol area tastemakers will be gathering in Laurel, MD, on Thursday, Sept. 23, to help local children in need. A special fundraiser and free wine-tasting at Corridor Fine Wine in Laurel will benefit hundreds of Washington and Maryland children in foster care and adoption programs run by the national children's charity KidsPeace.
The public is invited between 6 and 9 p.m. to enjoy the evening's "Around the World Wine Tasting," featuring upscale wines and champagnes from five countries. The tasting is free, and 30 percent of all wine sales generated that night, as well as all silent auction proceeds will be donated to KidsPeace.
"This event is for people with a thirst, not just for the finer things in life, but for helping children, many of whom don't have even the basics such as a home and a loving adult to guide their way," said Steve Faith, Vice President of Wine Operations for Corridor Fine Wine.
"It's not every day you get to take a trip around the globe," according to Diane Sancilio, KidsPeace Manager of Foster Care and Community Programs. "And at the same time do a world of good to benefit our children."
Save the date and plan to attend to feel good while doing some good and benefit hundreds of children in the Baltimore and Washington areas. The event is on September 23 from 6:00-9:00 p.m. at 3321 Corridor Marketplace, Laurel, MD 20724. For directions, call 301-617-8507.]]>
KidsPeace set up a karaoke machine that allowed children and teens to express themselves by singing for the crowds. As evening turned to night, more teens and even a few adults came to the booth to stretch their vocal chords. The booth contained many fun giveaways for the kids and adults that sported the KidsPeace and TeenCentral.Net logos. Volunteers also gave away brochures and information about KidsPeace, TeenCentral.Net and Foster Care.
KidsPeace raffled off two beautiful skateboards designed specifically for the event by the very talented Shawn Parker, Manager of Creative Services. One carried the KidsPeace colors and logo, while the other contained artwork that appears on TeenCentral.Net, the anonymous website that KidsPeace offers to teens seeking professional advice regarding their issues and problems. The raffle raised nearly $200 for KidsPeace and TeenCentral.Net.
A dozen KidsPeace and TeenCentral.Net associates from all parts of the organization participated in greeting visitors and talking about their work at the nonprofit organization that has been serving Lehigh Valley since 1882. The best part of the event for KidsPeace associates was thoughtfulness of kids and adults who stopped by to relate how KidsPeace had helped them and their families. Among them, one father stopped to say that KidsPeace had "saved his son's life," a grandmother expressed tearful thanks for turning her granddaughter's life around, and a courageous young man who told volunteers personally how KidsPeace had helped him.
KidsPeace continues to reach out to the community to inform families about how the charity can help children and young adults of all ages and from any background. TeenCentral.Net visits community events, schools, libraries, tv and radio shows and anyplace where they can get the word out to teens about how the site can help them, educate them and give them a place to safely communicate with other teens and Doctor's and Master's level counselors.
84 Teams Converge to Raise Hope, Funds for Local Charity
at 13th Annual KidsPeace Soccer Invitational
Free Admission for Public – Proceeds to support TeenCentral.Net
WHAT: The 13th Annual KidsPeace Soccer Invitational
More than 80 teams will bring 1,000+ players and hundreds more fans and neighbors intent on having a good time and raising money to benefit TeenCentral.Net, the unique website developed by KidsPeace that allows teens to write anonymous posts about their problems and concerns and receive free online advise from Master's level counselors within 24 hours. The site also contains resources, news and information about domestic violence, obesity and smoking cessation.
Admission is free, so come on down, pull up a chair, and maybe buy a t-shirt or a hot dog in support of this annual event. There will be fun games, music, visiting attractions, food, and activities. Verizon Wireless is the tournament sponsor.
WHEN: Saturday & Sunday, August 21-22, 2010
Exciting kicks, blocks, and goals from 8:00 am to 5:00 pm both days
B104 Crew & Bee – Saturday from Noon to 2:00 pm.
WLEV 100.7 FM – Sunday from Noon to 2:00 pm
WFMZ TV 69 and interactive fun for kids, 9:00 am to 5:00 p.m., both days
WHERE: KidsPeace Orchard Hill campus, 5300 KidsPeace Drive, Orefield, PA 18069
(DIRECTIONS: From I-78 take Rte 309 north 7 miles, turn left on Old Packhouse Road.
Campus is ahead on left). For weather information, please call 610-799-8315.
"Come on down and support local kids and the team of your choice," says KidsPeace President & CEO Will Isemann. "And for two straight days, everyone will be a winner!"
SPECIAL NOTE: In addition to great competitive soccer, there will be a coaches' clinic on Friday, Aug. 20 conducted by Fernando Carrizo, head coach of the Northwestern Lehigh High School Varsity Boys Soccer team and assistant coach of the FC Sonics. The clinic has a minimal fee and is open to all participating coaches and to coaches who do not have teams in the tournament. Sessions will be conducted from 5 to 8:30 p.m. For more information or to register, contact Jenelle Perich at 610-799-8493.
KidsPeace operates Foster Care and Community Programs offices across the country. While referral agencies attempt to achieve permanency for these children through placement with other family members, they still have many children to place in treatment foster homes with highly trained families like those recruited and trained by KidsPeace.
With shrinking tax revenues and diminishing funds to take care of the needs of foster children in care, KidsPeace associates often feel frustration with having sufficient families to meet needs of referred children. Program Manager Jennifer Brown of the KidsPeace Merrillville, IN, FCCP office has decided to be innovative in motivating and encouraging her eight-person team of associates.
Jennifer has created two award programs that she bestows on her dedicated staff members: the Pit Bull Award and the Crusader Award. These recognitions encourage associates to fight their daily battles fearlessly, and to be strong advocates for the children in the Foster Care program.
"People who work with me have always characterized me as a pit bull because I fight hard and never give up on getting as much assistance for our children as possible," Jennifer said. "This gave me the idea for the Pit Bull award, which is presented to an associate weekly." The initial award is a Pit Bull pin with the associate's name on it, and subsequent awards include adding dog bones to the pin, a dog bone bracelet and a dog bone tiara.
The Crusader Award includes a helmet, sword, breastplate and shield and has been given only once so far to Jen Gaskill for sticking with it and winning the battle for a particularly difficult case. The other associates are now vying for the honor of taking the Crusader gear from Jen and claiming it as their own.
"I believe that this is a very positive incentive that has everyone excited about our 'Save a Kid Challenge' campaign that is both fun and empowering," Jennifer said. She has gone to the community for prizes, and businesses have donated manicures and haircuts, with more to come.
This was Jennifer's plan to build resiliency among the associates who deal with frequent policy changes that send children home too soon only to see them back in crisis and in need of another foster home. Congratulations to Jennifer for being innovative and encouraging to the associates in her office.]]>
The winning foursome scored 61 and included Joe Lennert, Caruso Benefits; Rich Kovacs, Kovacs Benefits Group; Doug Leonzi, National Penn Investments Services; and Kevin Burgess, KidsPeace. There were 144 golfers, but the raffle tickets were sold across the area. The awards dinner was great fun but became very touching when a KidsPeace Foster Care client addressed the group and told his story and warmed everyone's heart with his description of how KidsPeace had changed his life and helped him become the fine young man he is today.
Highmark Blue Shield was the tournament's premier sponsor, and event title sponsors were PrintConcepts and Tallman, Hudders & Sorrentino.]]>