text:
The Epic Search for Tiny Particles
Popular science booksserve an essential role for scientists. If the public is to support increasingly expensive research in such fields as particle physics, it deserves searching accounts not only of what answers have been found but of why we should care about the questions in the first place.
Yet popular coverage of cutting-edge research can become hype—pre- emptive public relations begun even before a discovery is confirmed. Is it legitimate to popularize string theory, multiple universes or higher dimensions—tantalizing concepts still far from experimental verification? What about fundamental particles that are, so far, merely theorized? Such questions surround the presentation of fundamental physics, with its dramatic searches for rare phenomena that reveal deep truths. Two new popular books survey the decades-long quests for two different particles, each a crucial building block of the universe, each frustratingly difficult to observe.
Frank Close's "Neutrino" traces the 80-year search to observe and measure that elusive, nearly massless particle, constantly traveling near the speed of light. At the other end of the scale, Ian Sample's "Massive" tells of the hunt for the Higgs particle, which is thought to confer mass on other fundamental particles. As yet unobserved, it's so central to the well-established "Standard Model" of physics that it's been nicknamed "The God Particle." Both books are suffused not just with human-interest vignettes but an instinctive sense that a historical approach is required to make sense of theories and experiments that, at first glance, seem to have nothing to do with what Wordsworth called the "still sad music of humanity."
Mr. Close, a physics professor at Oxford, chronicles how the neutrino was gradually brought to bay in experiments that spanned decades. Postulated in 1930 by Wolfgang Pauli to explain discrepancies in the behavior of radioactive nuclei, neutrinos are electrically neutral and astonishingly indifferent to "ordinary" matter. A neutrino can pass through millions of kilometers of lead without ever interacting with the surrounding matter. Many trillions of neutrinos have passed through your body in the last second without disturbing you in the least.
Thus it was not until 1956 that Fred Reines and Clyde Cowan found direct evidence of one. Building a giant detector (such an apparatus typically consists of vats containing thousands of gallons of cleaning fluid and liquid gallium or water surrounded by delicate instruments), they discovered that once in a great while an atom's nucleus will flinch at a neutrino's passage. Eventually experiments differentiated three species of neutrino.
Around the same time, Ray Davis, a chemist-turned-physicist, spent nearly 50 years building ever larger detectors in ever deeper caverns to shield them from ambient cosmic rays. By the mid-1990s his team and the Kamiokande group in Japan had both noticed far fewer neutrinos coming from the sun than existing theories predicted. It turns out that, rather than persisting in separate unchangeable states, the three varieties of neutrinos can transform into one another during their passage through the vast distances of space.
This discovery fundamentally changed our understanding of the neutrinos themselves. At the same time, it improved our ability to discern a neutrino's trajectory and source. Because neutrinos interact so weakly with matter, their smallest changes let us observe conditions in the remotest and earliest parts of the universe. The new science of "neutrino astronomy"—that is, observing the universe via neutrinos rather than light—promises to reveal much about the origin of the universe by opening a new window onto some of its primordial features.
A skilled physicist, Mr. Close tells this story with verve and precision. His writing is admirably clear and eminently accessible. He nicely uses H.G. Wells's "The Invisible Man," for instance, to suggest that the way a neutrino might disturb passing nuclei is comparable to the way the Invisible Man made himself felt as he jostled a passing crowd. In a short compass, Mr. Close gives the reader a solid account of both the scientists involved and their crucial findings.
Mr. Close particularly emphasizes the many decades that Ray Davis spent patiently searching for this most elusive particle—a quest that would seem utterly quixotic had it not eventually succeeded. Davis's persistence exemplifies the qualities that such fundamental advances in physics often require.
Massive: The Missing Particle That Sparked the Greatest Hunt in Science
By Ian Sample
Basic Books, 272 pages, $25.95
Ian Sample likewise shows a keen eye for the personal equation, even while narrating large swatches of physics history. In "Massive," Mr. Sample, a science correspondent for the Guardian newspaper, reserves a central place for the man for whom the Higgs particle is named. As a young professor at the University of Edinburgh in the 1960s, Peter Higgs was one of several theorists to put forth theories of why, say, protons have mass and photons do not. One notable aspect of Mr. Higgs's paper was that it postulated the existence of a new particle.
The search for the Higgs particle is now a chief purpose of accelerators such as the one at Fermilab in Illinois or the new Large Hadron Collider at CERN in Europe. Mr. Sample's exciting, easy-to-read narrative captures the collaboration, and competition, among the theorists and researchers who became involved in the search over the decades.
Mr. Higgs is himself an engagingly modest protagonist, human enough as a young theorist to panic en route to a seminar before the notoriously acerbic audience at Princeton. Yet he is also sensitive to the difference between his private quest for vindication and the expensive and controversial quest his theory provoked.
Both "Neutrino" and "Massive" are fine popularizations and technically sound. Mr. Sample prefers telling anecdotes and proposing metaphors as a way to describe counterintuitive physical theories. Though this strategy keeps the narrative popping, it may lead readers to worry that they are not hearing the more sober truth. (His book would have also been greatly enhanced by diagrams.) Both books might have included more notes and suggestions for readers who wish to go further into the subject.
By Frank Close
Oxford, 169 pages, $18.95
Where Mr. Close's story comes full circle (we have now seen all three kinds of neutrino and determined the essentials of their relations), Mr. Sample's story remains unresolved: The Higgs particle—the missing experimental piece needed to confirm the Standard Model—has yet to be found. Its absence, or its appearance in an unexpected form, would greatly alter the immediate future of physics research.
Mr. Sample records some physicists' fear that a bland confirmation of the Higgs hypothesis—one that added no new information to current theories—might leave particle physics stranded in a seemingly endless desert, with no direction on how to proceed further and hence less and less chance of persuading skeptical governments to continue supporting an ever more expensive quest. Mr. Sample is certainly more optimistic than that. Indeed, he may lead some readers to think that finding the Higgs boson would solve "the mystery of the origin of mass." But things are not so simple. After all, what then determines the Higgs particle's own (as yet unknown) mass?
Enthusiasm for a consuming quest should not obscure the even more exciting questions that lie beyond: What is the meaning of this new under standing of the physical universe? How does it change our fundamental views and even the nature of understanding itself? The way in which the public views such research ultimately depends on how we value physics as a human project. The Egyptians had their pyramids, the Athenians their Parthenon, the Middle Ages their great cathedrals. To what extent will we embrace these accelerators and grand theories as our own enduring cultural monuments?
—Mr. Pesic, a tutor and musician-in-residence at St. John's College in Santa Fe, N.M., is the author of "Sky in a Bottle."


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Robyn Urback: Blair's G20 legacy, combined with his unabashed support for carding, doesn't jibe with the Liberal push to brand itself as the party for 'liberty'
Letters to the editor for Tuesday, April 21, 2015.
David Bertschi is suing three Trudeau advisers after he was denied chance to run against Andrew Leslie for the party nod in Ottawa-Orléans
'The Prime Minister wrote a book on a subject matter other than himself,' Stephen Harper's office quipped about Trudeau's memoir Thursday
Do Canadian women want a leader who respects their rights as women? Absolutely. But they also want a leader who respects their capacity as women.
Justin Trudeau has put his stamp on the Liberal party, but just what does that mean? His "vision" seems to consist of three parts Obama, one part advisors and a dash of harper. Is there a Justin in there somewhere?
In his most recent hilarious gaffe — and yes, that's all it really is — the leader of the Liberal Party of Canada tweeted an invite to a fundraising event geared toward women.
Michael Ignatieff's description of his failed political career actually makes him seem more presumptuous and ignorant than he once seemed
The new ad showing Justin Trudeau in a classroom sends a message right to the powerful teachers unions: 'I'm one of you'
Here's the potential benefit: A classically liberal Liberal party would be, for the first time in modern memory, about an ideal. It would be a party based on principle. And it would be distinct from either the Mulcair New Democratic party, or the Harper Conservative party, both of whom are shifting to the centre these days, in pursuit of power.

subset: commoncrawl


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Well met on Audiko.net! Use an opportunity to download a free Vanessa Hudgens ringtones for your iPhone or mobile. Choose your favorite measures from your favorite ballad - Hook It Up, Say OK, Let's Dance, or any other track. Then download the prepared Vanessa Hudgens ringtones to your iPhone, and enjoy Pop music by Vanessa Hudgens every time your phone rings. If you are mad about Pop or maybe Female Vocalists and R&B music, then you will probably like Selena Gomez, Ashley Tisdale, or Aly & AJ as well. For all who want a free Vanessa Hudgens ringtone, we also recommend listening to Disney, Dance, and American. Depending on a phone model, you can download your tone both in the MP3 and m4a formats, compatible with both mobile phones and iPhones. Just select a track, and choose free Vanessa Hudgens ringtones download option.
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35 year old man | Mounds View, MN, USA | Seeking women 25-35 within 10 miles of Spring Lake Park, MN
Looking for love
I am a 33 year old father of two wonderful daughters. They are 2 3 years old and they live with me 50% of the time. I work as a cnc machinist / software engineer. I would describe myself as very faithful, trustworthy, affectionate, and very hard working. I crave the love and attention that a partner would bring to my life. Most of my free time revolves around my daughters. I try to keep them very active. We frequent the zoo, parks, water parks, mall of america, beaches, and anything else that i can find that looks like fun. On the days when i dont have my daughters i like to go out for a couple drinks a play a couple games of pool or darts. Im also pretty big into fantasy football. About my date: She must be very good with kids. Even better if she has children of her own and better yet if she has children that are close in age to that of my daughters. Honesty and faithfulness are a must. She must also be very affectionate and kind hearted.
Camping , Coffee and conversation , Dining out , Fishing/Hunting , Movies/Videos , Music and concerts , Exploring new areas , Playing cards , Playing sports , Travel/Sightseeing , Video games , Watching sports
Auto racing / Motorcross, Billiards / Pool, Football, Other types of exercise, Swimming, Walking / Hiking
I exercise 1-2 times per week.
Middle of the Road
University of Wisconsin–Stout, Menomonie, WI
Z{{Cta}} {{#if HasMoreInfo}} ?{{CtaSecondary}} {{/if}}
|What he is looking for
|6'1" (185cms)
|3'0" (91cms) to 8'11" (271cms)
|Body type:
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|Slender, About average, Curvy, Athletic and toned, A few extra pounds
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|Technical / Science / Computers / Engineering
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|$50,001 to $75,000
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|Have kids:
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|Some college
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In 2006, after the lacrosse incident, Rolling Stone wrote an article about Duke's social scene. Duke's Women's Initiative, investigating females' roles on campus, predates the article and incident by three years.
Stereotypes, expectations and social norms
"Most undergraduates come to Duke with a fairly well-developed set of cultural expectations about how women and men should behave, communicated in powerful ways by the messages of contemporary popular culture and formative high school experiences…These norms are clearly not conducive to equal participation as members of a community of scholars…" (Women's Initiatve Report, 7).
Men dominate
"…Men set the social rules, throw the parties, …create the expectations, …and these…incredibly smart women…dumb it down." –Donna Lisker, former director of Duke's Women's Center
Feminist theory
"Feminism, which most women saw as a throwback, a 'past social inequality,' has very little relevance to their lives." –RS Reporter
Effortless perfection
"…The expectation that one would be smart, accomplished, fit, beautiful, and popular, and that all this would happen without visible effort." (Women's Initiative Report, 14).
"Reading on the treadmill with the highlighter—see, that's Duke in a nutshell. You've got to do everything at once, and you've got to do it well." –Duke female undergraduate
The hookup scene
"Both men and women expressed dissatisfaction with the dating scene at Duke. Students…attend parties in large groups, followed by "hookups"—unplanned sexual encounters typically fueled by alcohol. Men and women agreed the double standard persists: men gain status through sexual activity while women lose status" (Women's Initiative Report, 12-13).
"There is a metal go-go cage in which a group of Duke girls clad in tiny denim skirts and hlaters perform a modified pole dance, but no one seems to be watching." –RS Reporter
"A whirlwind"
"(The hookup scene) exists in a whirlwind of drunkenness and horniness that lacks definition—which is what everyone likes about it (because) it's just an environment of craziness and you don't have to worry about it until the next morning." –Duke male undergraduate
"Part of being a modern woman is sort of playing with your sexuality." –Donna Lisker, former director of Duke's Women's Center
"…Traditional intercourse is common, and oral sex nearly ubiquitous, regarded as sort of a form of elaborate kissing that doesn't really mean very much." –Duke female undergraduate.
All quotations attributed to the Women's Initiative Report can be found online at http://www.duke.edu/womens_initiative/report_report.html.
Rolling Stone image from www.rollingstone.com


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Wire way cover covers pendant mount lead on back side of track. Use one for each live end, allows track to be wired through stem.
Nora tracks and track accessories are interchangeable with Halo, Catalina, Hampton Bay, Halo-Edison, or any other brands configured to Halo (H-Type) track system design. They are not compatible with Juno (J-Type) or Lightolier (L-Type) track systems.
NOTE: Wands and monopoint canopies are generally not compatible with other manufacturers.


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*This item is discounted 25% due to slight imperfections.
With Our "Find This For Me" Service we notify you via email once we have stock!
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Piece Name: Single Light Candlestick
Size: 8 3/8 in


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Metal Masters Tour tickets are on sale.
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- Fine Cut Graphic Imaging Ltd
Label & Marking Solutions
Fine Cut is the UK's leading manufacturer of label and marking solutions, providing custom labels, nameplates, graphic overlays, laser & precision engraving.
We are dedicated to quality and are proud of our highly skilled workforce who give us the ability to provide the best solution to any label or marking requirement.
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Our distinguished Engraving division offers a wide range of machines coupled with a highly skilled, experienced workforce.
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Fine Cut offers a huge range of printing capabilities including state-of-the-art Digital, Screen, Thermal & Foil printing as well as Laser marking production methods to produce high quality labels and nameplates to exacting specifications for customers worldwide.
Our highly skilled engravers operate a wide range of specialised technology including cutting edge laser engraving machines, traditional pantographs, computer controlled flat beds and state of the art 4-axis 3 dimensional machines linked to full CAD/CAM workstations.
With over 20 years experience in the production of cast aluminium and machined from solid mould tools, Fine Cut provides a complete and specialised service from initial CAD design to the final finished product.
Fine Cut offer probably the most comprehensive range of hand finishing tools & equipment anywhere in the world. Precision manufactured by our skilled craftsmen, all Fine Cut bookbinding tools are finished to a high quality and preserve any historical detail of the patterns.
Just a quick email to say thanks for excellent job you did on the copper panels.
I know we had a few hiccups along the way but the end result was fantastic.
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Many thanks for the badges received yesterday. We are very pleased with the finished badges which have met with a very favourable response from our club members.
Many thanks again for managing to produce the badges for us where other suppliers have failed.
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We will fit them on Monday so they are ready for the show - so thank you for turning them round so quickly it is very much appreciated.
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This has really helped us out with keeping production supplied to our Customer.
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A big thank you for your efforts with the lid labels, the customer is very pleased with the results, as am I with your help and expertise in getting us what we wanted, even though we didnt have a clue at the start.
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Thank you
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Ship tool arrived today, Fantastic quality and such speedy service.
Thank you very much for your help and patience with this order.
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I have received the overlays this morning, I would just like to say how happy I am with the finished product.
The quality is really good and they fit perfect in the breakout boxes.
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Smart Girls Who Surf, Care For Hair, Sun Protector, 2 oz (59 ml) (Discontinued Item)
By Smart Girls Who Surf9 Reviews
Shipping Weight:?0.18 lbs (0.08 kg)
Shipping Weight
The Shipping Weight includes the product, protective packaging material and the actual shipping box. In addition, the Shipping Weight may be adjusted for the Dimensional Weight (e.g. length, width & height) of a package. It is important to note that certain types of products (e.g. glass containers, liquids, fragile, refrigerated or ice packed) will often require protective packaging material. As such, these products will reflect a higher Shipping Weight compared to the unprotected product.
- Product Code: SWS-00009
- UPC Code: 184798000098
- Package Quantity: 2 oz (59 ml)
- Dimensions: 1.4 x 1.4 x 4.8 in, 0.15 lbs (0.07 kg)
Product Overview
- Moisturizing Leave-In Conditioner for That Hard to Handle Hair!
- De-Tangles!
- De-Frizzes!
- De-Lights!
There is no such thing as a "Bad Hair Day" with our care for hair sun protector! This fabulous leave-in conditioner and protein infused detangler provides protection from the sun's harmful rays. Specially formulated with Vitamins A and C. Care for Hair helps repair chemically treated dull, dry and damaged hair. Perfect for the beach and the pool. Mom's give Care for Hair a five star rating!
Work Hard, Have Fun, Be Passionate
Suggested Use
Spray liberally on wet or dry hair from roots to ends. Use daily as a leave-in conditioner after shampooing, swimming or surfing
Avoid contact with eyes. Rinse with warm water if contact occurs. Keep out of reach of children.
Water, dicetyldimonium chloride, glycerin, elhoxydiglycol, propylene glycol, hamemelis virginiana (witch hazel distilled), triticum vulgaris (wheat germ) extract, butylene glycol alcohol, calcium pantothenate, humus lupulus (hope) extract, retinyl palmitate (vitamin A), allantoin, boric acid, calendula officinalis extract, arnica Montana flower extract, colloidal sulfur, inositol, niacinamide (vitamin B3), thiamine HCl (vitamin B1), ascorbic acid (vitamin c), biotin (vitamin B7), folic acid, methionine, SWS protein complex (hydrolyzed wheat protein, hydrolyzed soy protein, hydrolyzed silk), PPG-12-PEG-50 lanolin, TEA-Salicylate, fragrance (parfum), citric acid, methylchloisothizolinone, methylsothiazolinone
This product is oil and paraben free
iHerb Customer Reviews


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For nearly 50 years, Horanburg has dedicated himself to the residents of the Town of Newfane as a member of Miller Hose. He has had a long and distinguished career as a firefighter, holding various offices, including second assistant chief, assistant chief, fire chief, assistant treasurer and vice president. In addition, he was named Miller Hose Firefighter of the Year in 1981.
Last fall and throughout the winter, nearly 800 citizens participated in a creative mapping exercise to consider where Buffalo/Niagara should grow - and how - over the next 40 years.
Now the results are in and the regional planning effort known as One Region Forward is asking citizens back to consider the comparative costs and benefits of a range of alternative regional scenarios and to refine their advice on which way Buffalo/Niagara should grow.
Maurice D. Cooper Jr. and his wife, Barbara Hamilton Cooper, owners of the Rainbow Rink in North Tonawanda, said they will spend the summer updating the popular family entertainment venue and preparing for what they are confident will be its long-term successful future.
"The City of Lockport and the surrounding communities deserve to continue to have a safe, well-run, family-oriented fun center," Maurice Cooper said. "Skateland has a proud history and we are convinced that its best years are still ahead."
Habitat for Humanity ensures everyone has a decent place to live by providing affordable housing to families that might not otherwise be able to own a home. The houses are sold to pre-qualified families at no profit and with no interest charged while Habitat holds the mortgage.
The home on Fox Street is expected to be complete in late 2014. The First Niagara Foundation is providing $15,000 in funding for Habitat for Humanity to complete the project.
Libraries across the state applied for competitive construction grants that could fund up to 75 percent of the cost for a project. The minimum grant award was $2,500. The funding is awarded by the New York State Department of Education, Division of Library Development.
The new Niagara Jet Adventure and Niagara Tourism & Convention Corp. are looking for a couple to "take the plunge" this summer.
The Isaiah 61 Project will target a section of the community the organization has identified for redevelopment and revitalization. Job training and education will be provided in the construction trades for residents who qualify for the program. Those receiving the training will then work to rehabilitate abandoned homes and turn them into safe, affordable housing.
The First Niagara Foundation is providing a $10,000 grant to fund the program and purchase building materials.
The baby, named Nikko, was born June 5 at the Buffalo Zoo. Shortly after his birth, keepers noticed that his mother, 6-year-old Yuki, was not holding him. This indicated the first-time mom may not be caring for her newborn properly. Keeper staff retrieved the baby to warm him and give him fluids, and make sure he was healthy. After multiple attempts to reunite mother and baby, zoo staff determined the baby's best chance at survival was to be hand-raised.
The college will host a celebration in Rosary Hall in honor of this distinguished designation by the Amherst Historic Preservation Commission. Daemen President Gary A. Olson, Amherst Deputy Supervisor Guy Marlette, commission representatives, and members of the college community are expected to be in attendance.
"We are honored to have Rosary Hall receive 'Historic Landmark' status in Amherst, which has been home to the Daemen campus since it was founded," Olson said.
The baby rhino, weighing in at 144 pounds, was born to mother Tashi on June 5 at the Buffalo Zoo.
Canalside is bringing the likes of Buffalo favorite and lead singer of the Tragically Hip, Gord Downie & The Sadies; reggae fusion artist Shaggy; neo soul/indie pop group Fitz and the Tantrums; and the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra, featuring the music of Earth, Wind and Fire and Michael Jackson.
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All materials appearing on this Web page and website © copyright 2014 Niagara Frontier Publications.No materials may be reproduced without the express written consent of Niagara Frontier Publications.


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The ecology and evolution of induced resistance against herbivores
Article first published online: 7 OCT 2010
DOI: 10.1111/j.1365-2435.2010.01789.x
© 2010 The Author. Functional Ecology © 2010 British Ecological Society
Functional Ecology
Special Issue: EVOLUTIONARY ECOLOGY OF PLANT DEFENCES AGAINST HERBIVORES
Volume 25, Issue 2, pages 339–347, April 2011
Additional Information
How to Cite
Karban, R. (2011), The ecology and evolution of induced resistance against herbivores. Functional Ecology, 25: 339–347. doi: 10.1111/j.1365-2435.2010.01789.x
Publication History
- Issue published online: 16 MAR 2011
- Article first published online: 7 OCT 2010
- Received 3 June 2010; accepted 2 September 2010 Handling Editor: Marc Johnson
- Abstract
- Article
- References
- Cited By
- communication;
- costs;
- defence;
- heterogeneity;
- priming;
- volatiles
1. Induced resistance is now widely accepted as a potent and widespread ecological force although several pieces of the story remain very poorly known. Theory predicts that induced defences should be favoured in variable environments especially when plants can use cues to reliably predict future conditions; however, this idea has not been seriously evaluated for plants.
2. Theory also predicts that plastic, induced defences should be favoured over permanent, constitutive defences if defences are costly and not always needed. This hypothesis has received considerable attention and limited support; resource allocation costs have been difficult to detect although ecological costs of defence may be more common. Recently, priming has emerged as a mechanism that may further reduce costs. Primed plants do not immediately produce the gene products associated with induced resistance but later respond more rapidly and strongly to severe or repeated attacks. It remains to be determined how common priming is.
3. Much of what we know about induced resistance is from the herbivore's point of view. Induced resistance will be beneficial from the plant's point of view if herbivores avoid induced plants, but the behavioural responses of herbivores to induced plant variation are still poorly studied.
4. Recent progress in understanding the detailed spatial and temporal extent of induced resistance has improved our appreciation of the phenomenon. Although some induced responses are systemic throughout entire plant individuals, many others have been found to be localized to damaged tissues. Plant vascular architecture and transpiration rates greatly constrain the distribution of vascular cues. Some plants rely on volatile cues that are active over relatively short distances and may be subject to eavesdropping by other plants, herbivores, and carnivores. Similarly, the temporal duration of induced responses may have important consequences on effectiveness although limited information is available concerning lag times before induction and relaxation times following induction.
5. Limited spatial and temporal scales of induced responses make plants more variable from the herbivore's point of view. Recent work suggests that plant heterogeneity may be difficult for herbivores to cope with although this hypothesis awaits further empirical testing.


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Thanks for the new thread, Fille! Thinking of you too. Fingers crossed that AF doesn't arrive for another 9 months!
Joy!!! I am so happy for you!!! Definitely keep us in the loop about how things go!
Sphinxy- when we insemmed with frozen sperm at the midwifery clinic, the midwife held the vial in a paper towel up against her body immediately after she pulled it from the tank and it took about 15 minutes to unthaw.
Rs11- thinking of you <3 Glad to see you back here and reaching out.
Re the question about who we've told: We have a blog, so anyone I've given the blog address out to knows. That's only a few people IRL. This question is timely though because I did just tell my sister (sort of) tonight. I was gonna come on here and tell y'all about it when I saw the question. Funny. Anyway, we are going through NW Cryobank and I had to sign that release paper for them, which requires someone to witness your signature (other than your spouse). I thought of her even though I hadn't really told her yet, but I figured it would be a good chance to tell her. Well, I sort of chickened out at the end. She knows we are ordering the sperm, but I said that it was for "when we are ready." Little does she know that we've already tried 4 times. The nice part, though, is that she said she'd be thinking of us and praying it works soon and also she said she wouldn't tell anyone (unprompted by me). I'd been keeping it from her b/c she's been really close with my Mom until recently when my Mom had a flip out (she has BPD) and left my sister 26 weeks pregnant on the side of the freeway. Its a very long story, but essentially that was the end of their relationship as it once was. Now that my sister is beginning to "get" why I don't trust my Mom with any personal information whatsoever, I felt it would be a good time to let her in a tiny bit. We'll see how it goes. Sidenote: I'm getting pretty excited about my sister having her baby! She found out that she's having a girl and is naming her Willow <3. My nephew Dashel is going to be the best big brother. This is him back in May at my older brother's wedding. He's now 25 months old.
DW (40) and I (33) have been married since October 2010. We have been kitty mommies to Georgio for a while now, but we're now real mommies to one beautiful little girl , Olivia Grace, born 11/19/13 at 5:56am.
Me (S-26), DSp (B-29) married May 21, 2010 in Connecticut. DD (L-4). Billa, Hurley, Spitfire (Leroy) and Nollie too!
Fille yes please could you add me to the list? If I'm allowed to stay here being single? It's great hearing from other's who are doing AI, it isn't just me! Also can you test for pregnancy on the OPK's then? I didn't know that...and I have some of those!
Joy Big congrats on your bfp! Very exciting time of year for you with lots going on, I hope I can join you in the next few days with that result.
AFM I'm 4DPO and concerned because my temps have only been up by .2 on 1DPO and 2DPO, then up by .1 on 3DPO and 4DPO... shouldn't the temp rise be higher than that? And If I'm pregnant I should get higher temps slowly too, and for 2 days they have been down by .1 ..... Also trying to keep patient waiting for the pregnancy tests to arrive in the mail, but kind of glad they aren't here yet as I would have wasted at least 1 by now from testing too early!
Anyone know if being extra gassy is a sign of pregnancy? I have been since O and insem so just thought I would ask.
fille - FX that AF stays away!
esen Ugh, I am with you on the crappy sleep. Last night DW and I did some romantic bedtime reading about insem timing (ha!), and I was actually feeling pretty relaxed, so against my earlier instincts I didn't take anything to help me sleep. Probably fell asleep around midnight and woke at 3:30, temped, then off and on restless sleep til 6:15. My frozen swimmers arrive tomorrow, and I'm feeling nervous about Oing before they arrive (which would be really early for me). I don't have any signs lining up yet, but this morning I'm starting to feel full on my right side, so if signs start lining up today and I can't do anything about it, I might go crazy. Trying to just breathe and visualize not ovulating before tomorrow...
Honestly, I'm starting to think about logistics for a Jan insem and dread the cost I was hoping to miraculously avoid. KD flights on my credit card that I already can't pay off! *sigh*
37, hoping to have a new member of the family in 2016, to join my queer clan: Me , Things 1&2 , my long-distance KD/cheerleader (the guy who's been telling everyone what a great mom I'm going to be) , and the rest of the superheroes and sidekicks .
Here's a question for all, anybody attempting to gender sway by diet or supplements? Also, has anyone tested their Ph level of their CM? I'm think I might be a little too acidic in general and am going to attempt to get a little more alkaline 1) to try to create a better environment for the little swimmers and 2) to try to create a better environment for the little Y swimmers to help sway for a boy. Has anyone heard about or tried using actual egg whites?
Me (S-26), DSp (B-29) married May 21, 2010 in Connecticut. DD (L-4). Billa, Hurley, Spitfire (Leroy) and Nollie too!
Fille - Bummer about those signs not looking so good, but it's not over 'til it's over!
esen - I actually just read about the egg white thing for the first time last night and I was totally shocked! According to when this book was written (2006), there's no real data out there but the people who have tried it swear by it. Not sure I could do it myself, but for people who are going to try it they say let the egg come to room temp first, and then draw the egg white into a needless syringe, inserting just enough to lubricate. Let us know if you try it and what you think!
Afm, trying to stay calm but I'm kinda freaking out about my timing. This cycle I was wanting to follow the Brill recommendations for vaginal inseminations with frozen sperm, which are one insem right when you get your first faint positive (or nearly positive), and another within 18 hours. My OPK at 10:45 this morning was nearly positive, and my swimmers won't be here for another 23 hours. I was so worried about not Oing before my business trip next week and now it looks like I might insem too late. Grrr.....
Sphinxy: Oh my goodness, you and I are funny: DP and I did romantic Brill insem. timing bedtime reading last night too. In bed even! It's getting so close for us.
So the OPK was darker?? What has it done in other months as far as darkening? AGH! I hope it holds off for another couple days!
Fille: DARN. Keep plugging away at temping, and SELF CARE! Keep us informed. The worst case scenario is that this is a learning cycle. I'm super bummed you might not get BFP but glad you are on this thread with us!
Also, the QP&P group did an introduction section, I am going to propose one and you guys let me know if it sounds like a good idea to you?
What is your name?
What are the names/pronouns of your partner and children (if you have any)?
What method are you using to get pregnant this next cycle?
What do you and/or your partner do for work?
What state/province do you live?
What is the most exciting part about this TTC time for you?
What is the most difficult part?
Samy: Single is awesome! I know a few LGBT people/lesbians who are having babies as single mommas/poppas and some on this thread as well! WELCOME and glad you are here! It says you are a senior member, though! Tell us more about yourself!
mrsandmrs: So insem. on CD12! Great! What day are you on now? We are going to have some more TWWer's really soon!
Darcy: Did someone answer your question? What is about timing of ordering because of the shipping timing or insem. timing? I know for me, timing of anything is the hardest part of all! I am so glad you are trying again so soon!
afm: I had my normal pre-insem. pregnancy dreams last night, also because I obsessively start to look at pictures of "baby in womb" online around this time every month, as well. OMG. I am getting the jitters! We have figured out where KD will ejaculate, contract is done, plans are made... Waiting for CM and OPK/whatever other signs... Brill said with fresh sperm timing is so much more relaxed which I can't wrap my head around...I hope he agrees to come 3x, I think DP will drive over and pick up the sperm the 3rd time if KD is too busy/tired, ha!
What are the pronouns of your partner and children (if you have any)? DSp -he, DD -she
What method are you using to get pregnant this next cycle? At-home ICI, frozen sperm, anonymous donor.
What do you and/or your partner do for work? I am work in customer service for a small outdoor furniture manufacturer. Also, I'm trying to get started to be a novelist (fiction). DSp works with resolving customs issues for international small package shipments.
What state/province do you live? Kentucky
What is the most exciting part about this TTC time for you? I can't wait to be pregnant again! With this time being pregnant with a baby that DSp and I conceived together.
What is the most difficult part? DSp being frustrated and let down with each BFN and feeling like all of the $ cost is for nothing. Everyone around me is pregnant or just had their babies, and it was easy and cheap for them! Also, I feel like time is ticking really fast. DD just keeps getting older and older and we really wanted them to be close in age.
Me (S-26), DSp (B-29) married May 21, 2010 in Connecticut. DD (L-4). Billa, Hurley, Spitfire (Leroy) and Nollie too!
What is your name? Sarah
What are the names/pronouns of your partner and children (if you have any)? DP: he.
What method are you using to get pregnant this next cycle? ICI/IVI, fresh sperm with known donor.
What do you and/or your partner do for work? I am a law student and DP is a PhD student.
What state/province do you live? Michigan.
What is the most exciting part about this TTC time for you? We are going to be first time parents! So excited. I cannot wait to be pregnant, even with all of the not-so-fun symptoms! I am also excited about telling friends and family. Aside from some of my really conservative family, everyone is going to be SO HAPPY!
What is the most difficult part? The TTC process has been WAY harder, more expensive and more emotional than I thought. The week preceding O and the tww's have been really hard on us! I am learning to be calmer each time but it's still hard. So many of our friends have had babies so it can be stressful to still be trying, and agreeing with esenbee2 it hard to watch them do it so easily...Although I have only tried 2 times besides this coming try, it is taxing financially and emotionally to know there may be no end in sight- so there is the real tough part- the UNKNOWN.
Scorpio - Your post just reminded me, you gave me your partner's email address a loooong time ago because he was looking to chat with other FTMs going through this process, right? I am so sorry, I got really busy (and then my wife got really pregnant) and I totally forgot. If he still wants to chat, feel free to send his email again. You can PM me, too.
What are the pronouns of your partner and children (if you have any)? She + She, with 3 pets who we call He, Crazypants, Whackadoodle, whatever fits.
What method are you using to get pregnant this next cycle? 2 at-home ICIs with frozen sperm from a WTBK donor
What do you and/or your partner do for work? I work in credit union administration, DW is a professor.
What state/province do you live? We are in NYC suburbs currently. New England will always be home for our hearts, and hopefully again for our feet someday.
What is the most exciting part about this TTC time for you? I truly believe that we are going to be awesome parents. We are coming up on our tenth anniversary together, so I feel like we know each other and what we want so well, and the time is right for this next step. There is no one else I would want to be on this journey with and I am so excited that my kids are going to have DW for a mom.
What is the most difficult part? Finding peace in the process is a daily struggle. The temping, the charting, the timing, the insem method, the TWW, the POAS... I actually harbored a significant amount of resentment for a while about it all. For crying out loud, I know straight women who have gotten pregnant unintentionally, standing up, while using birth control. I see now that my resentment was counterproductive, and my new attitude is a work in progress.
I've been super busy with the new job, but wanted to stop by to say YAY to Joy, so exciting!
What is your name? Heidi
What are the names/pronouns of your partner and children (if you have any)? me-she, Jamie-she, two pups Wunbi and Xena-both she's
What method are you using to get pregnant this next cycle? we are using the patience is a virtue method
What do you and/or your partner do for work? We both work in nonprofit administration
What state/province do you live? Utah
What is the most exciting part about this TTC time for you? that is is actually moving forward (mostly)
What is the most difficult part? being financially responsible in our family planning. It would be so easy to just go ahead and do it.
Just a quick update: Still waiting on those KD test results, he's been traveling a ton. Found out I don't get paid maternity until I've been here for two years...huge bummer. So we are really wanting a baby, but also don't know if we want to give up paid maternity. I'll only get 4 weeks paid, plus whatever vacation/sick time I'd have saved up by then, probably another two weeks max. It's not that much money, but we are leaning towards waiting until then. Anyone have thoughts to share? experiences?
Good luck to everyone, I'll try to check in more often.
Me (31) DW (28) 2 puppies and our sweet little love born 6/19/14
What is your name? Allison
What are the names/pronouns of your partner and children (if you have any)? J (DW), She. Our 2 cats are a he and a she.
What method are you using to get pregnant this next cycle? We'll be doing frozen WTBK through a sperm bank. In 2ish more years.
What do you and/or your partner do for work? I'm an RN in a NICU, DW works retail.
What state/province do you live? BC
What is the most exciting part about this TTC time for you? Not actively TTC ATM, just saving money.
What is the most difficult part? The extreme disappointment of having spent a whole year TTC with nothing happening, the crushing resentment and jealousy of others who get pregnant so easily. Trying to keep going forward without really knowing how or what to do, spending every day dying inside because the thing you want *so badly* more than anything else in the world just isn't working out. Which is obnoxious because everything else in my life seems to happen nearly effortlessly (as in, I do something, I work at it, it just falls into place, trying to have a baby is the biggest shit show I've ever been through).
sphinxy, yea, it was pretty frightful when i found out it was on FB. Needless to say that TWW was nerve wracking!
Joy, those stats look promising! Goood luck nd FX!
RS11, Welcome back, and best of luck to you all this time around. Hope you get to feeling better as well..
m&m, glad for the note about icing the injection site. I was looking at the procedure for giving the trigger and for some reason i looked a bit weary. I'm not antsy with needles or anything, but i got a little anxiety from it. Did it hurt when you did it, and where did you inject, if you don't mind meeh asking.
Soto, if that little one isn't absolutely handsome. it'd be something to get a handsome little one like that :)
What are the pronouns of your partner and children (if you have any)? Meeh ~she, DP~she, and one Pug, Bella.
What method are you using to get pregnant this next cycle? At home ICI with clomid + trigger and frozen anonymous swimmers
What do you and/or your partner do for work? I'm a Product Support Rep for 15 banks, and DP is in the music industry.
What state/province do you live? Arkansas
What is the most exciting part about this TTC time for you? Doing it at home and hopefully using the trigger will help with timing and the possibility of making a little one is all too exciting in itself!
What is the most difficult part? Trying so hard and getting a BFN and trying to bring DP's spirits up after.
AFM, Temping away and tea drinking and eating better. :)
Meeh (25) and DP (35) Started TTC DS/DD #1Jan12 IUI #1 2/12-BFN, IUI #2 Oct12-BFN. IUI#3-BFN Mar13-BFFN, Jan14- BFN, Jun15 - Starting with the RE with timed IUI's and HcG trigger
What are the names/pronouns of your partner and children? just me (she) and my two cats, Koukouy (f) and Yoshi (m)
What method are you using to get pregnant this next cycle? skipping Dec, but in Jan, upwards and onwards using fresh KD sperm
What do you do for work? I work for a nonprofit org focused on creating sustainable communities
What state/province do you live? Vermont
What is the most exciting part about this TTC time for you? The fact that after 7 years of planning, I'm finally moving ahead with my dearest dream. Also, the idea that I might spend 2013 MAKING A PERSON.
What is the most difficult part? Money, definitely money: fear of what TTC might cost (including fear that I might have fertility problems and not be able to get pregnant because of lack of financial resources); worries about swinging unpaid family leave so that I don't have to go back to work immediately; fear that I'm not financially stable enough to have a child (while recognizing that my financial stability isn't 1 year away, it's probably 10 years away, and I just can't wait that long to TTC)
37, hoping to have a new member of the family in 2016, to join my queer clan: Me , Things 1&2 , my long-distance KD/cheerleader (the guy who's been telling everyone what a great mom I'm going to be) , and the rest of the superheroes and sidekicks .
Esenbee: how sucky that your family isn't supportive. I actually recently told one of my best friends that I was going to start trying soon (because I'm a horrible cliché, she's also my ex-gf/first love/college roommate), and she just went silent on the phone. She doesn't believe in being fake, so if she's not genuinely excited for you, she doesn't try to pretend AT ALL. *sigh* She's married now and has a 5-year old, and lives in Germany (her husband is German), where she had paid parental leave for the first couple of years after her baby was born, and where (according to her), there's very little support for women working after they have kids. Based on that experience, she sees having a kid as a career-killer and doesn't understand why I would do it when I'm just starting my career. (Ironically, when we were dating I was the one who wanted kids, she never did.) Luckily, after a long, long time of pinning way too much of my emotional stability on our relationship and then friendship, I've learned not to give a good goddamn what she thinks about stuff like this. I love her for who she is, and recognize that she isn't capable of being part of my emotional support network.
Friederike: Yay for relaxing couple vacations and filling boring car time with baby name conversations! (The latter is pretty much what I do with all boring times—I've been name-obsessed since long before I became baby-obsessed.)
Rs11: It must be so hard to be coming up on what should have been such a joyous time. Great to hear you are almost ready to start trying again, though. I'm wishing you all the best!
Mrsandmrs: Woo hoo for perfect bloodwork (and ovaries)! Wishing you lots of luck with injections. I'm curious, how does your DS feel about you TTC?
Samy23: single folks are very, very welcome (speaking as one)! Okay, so the deal with using OPKs as HPTs is as follows: http://www.peeonastick.com/opkhpt.html. Basically, it's not advised, but it is possible (not as reliable and prone to false negatives and false positives). My plan, when I couldn't stop myself from testing way too early for a BFP, was to use OPKs, and if they got darker/went positive, then I would confirm with an HPT. And obviously, if I had an actual reason to test, like definitely being past my usual LP without signs of AF, then I would use a precious HPT.
Esenbee/Sphinxy: sorry you are stressing/not sleeping well—I'm definitely crossing all my fingers and toes that your timing will be perfect and there'll be a record-breaking number of BFPs on the board this month. If threadkeeper's luck didn't work for me this time around, then I think we're all jointly owed a ton of baby dust in reparations! Also, about the egg whites thing, I gotta say, it does sound gross, but, honestly, not as gross as shooting yourself full of semen. Note, I am officially the worst bisexual ever (again), because ick. But, as my KD and I discussed (after I made a face when he handed me an Instead cup full of jizz), nobody really likes other people's bodily secretions if they aren't actually in the process of having sex with them.
Scorpioma: love that one of your concerns is figuring out where KD will ejaculate. Even though KD is one of my closest friends, that was still really weird to talk about, much less do. He has a one-bedroom apartment, so he went in his bedroom and did his thing, then came out, and I went into the bedroom and did my bit. So, officially, it all happened in his bed, just in very separate stages.
2justicemamas: wow, what a hard decision about the paid maternity leave. Being able to take some real leave to be home with your little one, without having to worry about finances, seems huge to me. Of course, it all depends on your circumstances, but it's definitely worth serious consideration!
Darthtunaqueen: as someone who's just starting this journey, I can't say I understand how you feel, but, wow, do I empathize! I'm wishing you all the best in your continued journey!
AFM, I'm totally weepy and despondent this evening, in the way I always am the day before my period starts (now that I've finally made the connection to that super-specific point in my cycle, I refer to it as "the black hole of despair"). Between that feeling and the temp drop, I'm not holding out much hope. It's not over til the fat lady sings, though (and I'm not singing yet).
37, hoping to have a new member of the family in 2016, to join my queer clan: Me , Things 1&2 , my long-distance KD/cheerleader (the guy who's been telling everyone what a great mom I'm going to be) , and the rest of the superheroes and sidekicks .
M (30), D (30) TTC #1 since October 2010. 13 unsuccessful cycles--no meds (2 m/c). First medicated IUI July 2012: BFN. Second medicated IUI: BFP! Triplets! Actual Due Date: May 17...GOAL: April 5th!
Sawyer, Elliott, and Miles arrived on March 24th @ 32 weeks & 2 days.
Names/pronouns? We are both she's. Dp's name is Kelli. our pup Teddy is a he.
Method? Starting January. IUI with clomid, trigger, ultrasound monitoring, and progesterone after IUI. Using anonymous frozen donor sperm from CA cryobank.
Work? Both Kelli and I work in the field of special education.
State? California
Exciting part of ttc? The opportunity to be a mom someday. Starting a new chapter of our lives together.
Difficult? The expense and the fear (since I work in the field) of a serious or even moderate disability. I hope to do everything I can to make a healthy baby.
2justicemamamas: I don't know if Aflac is available to you, but I just signed up at work last week. You have to have it a month before conception. Anyways that combined with state disability and paid family leave from the state will make it so I don't lose any income and can take about 3 mons off. It's a timesheet/hr planning nightmare though. There are 4 women pregnant at my work right now and I plan to follow their lead to get the most maternity leave. How much longer until you have 2 years at your current job?
Rs11: I'm so sorry for your loss and wish you much sticky baby dust this time around.
Fille: I'm sorry this month doesn't seem to have worked. But hold out till AF rears her ugly head! It's definitely a learning cycle though and we will be starting the new year off right with some successful baby making!
What is your name? Abby
What are the names/pronouns of your partner and children (if you have any)? DW and I both prefer "she" and "her"
What method are you using to get pregnant this next cycle? At home ICI with frozen WTBK sperm from NW Cryobank
What do you and/or your partner do for work? She's a District Parts and Service Manager for a big name auto company. Basically she travels Tuesday through Friday to the middle of BFE- two states away- every week- so she can visit her dealerships and make sure they are running up to "big name car company" standards. I am a Family Advocate for a local non-profit. More or less I help people develop employment skills, stabilize their housing, access needed resources and gain self-sufficiency.
What state/province do you live? Washington
What is the most exciting part about this TTC time for you? Connecting with you all and watching the changes that are occurring in my body by doing acupuncture, taking herbal supplements and cutting out the caffeine.
What is the most difficult part? Where do I start? Probably the feeling like this process could be endless. If I were straight I'd probably get it on a bunch of times a month and feel pretty damn good about my chances. Not such an option for us, unfortunately. I had a major meltdown when we were seriously discussing using a KD, so that quickly got tossed out the window. Frozen it is for us. We do with what we have. In the end, if it doesn't work then I think my wife would be amenable to adoption. I'd personally like to get started on that now, but she wants us to try everything we can before resorting to adoption or foster parenting. It's also difficult to see others get pregnant and go through their pregnancies and leave the hospital with a sweet little bundle of joy. Two people close to me are preggo right now and I vascilate between being super happy and extremely jealous- sometimes within the span of a few hours. That part really sucks. I'd really love my emotional stability back, thankyouverymuch.
DW (40) and I (33) have been married since October 2010. We have been kitty mommies to Georgio for a while now, but we're now real mommies to one beautiful little girl , Olivia Grace, born 11/19/13 at 5:56am.
scorpioma thanks for the welcome, yes I have been on this site for ages it seems! I will answer the Q's to say more below. Does your KD live nearby to do several donations?
fille hooray for another singleton TTC! I only know of one other, and it makes me feel not so alone in my situation
What is your name? Samy
What are the names/pronouns of your partner and children (if you have any)? I have a DD who is 11 years old, and we have a dog.
What method are you using to get pregnant this next cycle? Fresh sperm with a KD I met online.
What do you and/or your partner do for work? I work in admin.
What is the most exciting part about this TTC time for you? To finally be able to TTC after longing for a second child for about 5 years now. My dd had been asking for a brother or sister since she was very young herself and I'm thrilled to hopefully be able to give her that. Also I'm happy to not be waiting any longer because DD is getting older and I don't want their age gap to be too much more than it is right now, 12years is a big enough gap! I really want a second child before my first is a teenager. Plus at her age now she is old enough to be very helpful with a sibling.
What is the most difficult part? Finances, Timing and self doubt. -Financially being a single mom is scary sometimes because that whole responsibility falls on me, and I do worry about that, but most people even couples have money worries. I'm trying to plan for a better financial future, but as that takes time, I refuse to wait years more until I'm in that place before having another child. Secondly the timing is difficult using a sperm donor as I only get to insem once, so have to try to time it perfectly, which this cycle I did on the actual day of a positive OPK. And self doubt because sometimes I lose confidence in my ability to raise a family on my own. But it's what I want, and I have done it for 11 years with my DD already, so that proves I'm capable etc....I just have to remind myself I CAN do it, even when certain people don't approve of single mom's. I have a supportive family which helps the most.
AFM update I am 5DPO today and feel a little pre-AF cramping But trying to remain hopeful and losing patience with waiting to test so I think I will tomorrow at 6DPO. anyone else test that early?
Joy - Congratulations
Sphinxy - your thawing question. I was instructed to hold it close to the body for about 15min and use it immediately. It seems logical to start the swim team as early as possible. And about your timing freak out - I feel exactly the same way. It is such a scary process. How do I know if I am a late or early ovulater. When to order? Might it be too late or too early? Agghh. I hope, now that your temp stayed low another day you're fine and the goods arrive just in time for you I also wanted to comment on your Brill book quote - to me it seems to make a bit more sense to invest in another ultrasound or two around ovulation to nail the timing instead of the two ICIs 18 hours apart. Unless the extra cash for the additional vials isn't an issue, then of course it seems sensible to cover all bases and insem twice.
Darcy - do you order on dry-ice or liquid nitrogen? Dry ice only keeps for 3-4 days, but a nitrogen tank keep 1-2 weeks. So you should be totally fine in that case. I store mine in a cool and dry basement in the hopes that it keeps longer this way.
esenbee2 - your charting story convinced me to pay extra close attention to temps. I haven't testet acidic levels or anything, but I try to increase alkalines in my diet and use herbs to create a better environment in general (not trying for any particular sex). I bought a bunch of teas and supplements that should boost fertility. If anybody is interested in the list of herbs I was given, I could post it later. I have heard of the egg-white trick before but I don't know anybody who used it.
2justicemamas - about your paid maternity question. How many weeks/months would that be that you get paid, how long till your 2 years with the company and how old are you at the moment (how much can you afford to wait)? If it was just a month or so I personally would still go ahead and use the remaining time to save up some extra money during the pregnancy. If it enables you several months at home with a baby I would probably wait.
afm: my employer (big state university) sent out a mass email to everybody that the start a new flexible emergency child care service. We already have a regular company sponsored day-care/pre-school that only costs 200 a month, but now they start a program where the company provides up to 4 hours/day in-house child care e.g. in case of an illness which prevents the kid from attending day-care or after hours in case of an urgend late night meeting or so. They also pick up a child from day care if the parent is unexpectedly stuck at work or something. I probably wouldn't leave a sick child or a toddler in the care of a stranger, but as an emergency option where no friends or relatives are available it seems useful even just for an hour. They screen the people and they are trained plus it is totally free. So it seems to me like now is the perfect time to have a baby.
They are shipping our tank tomorrow which coincides with our holiday of Saint Nicholas Day, a miracle worker and priest who died 1700 years ago on December 6th. According to the legend Saint Nicholas comes during the night and fills shiny polished children's boots with sweets and little gifts. I don't think I have a big enough boot for a sperm tank, but I sure can hope for the miracle.
What is your name? <-- see nickname
What are the names/pronouns of your partner and children (if you have any)? DP and I are she
What method are you using to get pregnant this next cycle? First try, frozen at home ICI with trigger, progesterone and timing ultrasound
What do you and/or your partner do for work? DP is a government official involved in Civic Education and I teach Political Science at a large state university
What state/province do you live? Germany
What is the most exciting part about this TTC time for you? Getting to know my body better. I was no fan of the ultrasound wand at all, but now that it shows me mature follicles and serves a real purpose, I love it. It's nifty to watch O happening. And trying to figure out the donor and timing questions. And trying to keep my mouth shut when it is basically all I think about all day.
What is the most difficult part? Getting DP on bord first, which was a 10 year wait . The financial strain of paying for sperm, the frustrating inequality in access to help as compared to straight couples. I suspect the staying patient and positive after several failed tries might be really really hard; I'll see how long it takes for us.
...And trying to figure out the donor and timing questions. And trying to keep my mouth shut when it is basically all I think about all day.
What is the most difficult part? .... The financial strain of paying for sperm, the frustrating inequality in access to help as compared to straight couples. I suspect the staying patient and positive after several failed tries might be really really hard; I'll see how long it takes for us.
Both of these things really resonate with me, Friederike!
1) Thinking about O/babymaking all day long feels crazy but it is all we can do!
2) Straight couples do NOT UNDERSTAND how good many of them have it, sans the fertility issues many of them face, but still, unfettered access to fresh sperm!
Also, I seriously LOL-ed with the St. Nicholas joke... HA!!
Spinxy: Regarding the thaw timing, we did exactly what Friederike suggested when we did our frozen insems, and that is what our midwife told us as well. WE ARE ALMOST THERE GIRL.
afm: again sorry I am uber-present, I am in finals study mode and stare at this board all day long! the community here is saving my crazy mind!
also, EWCM mucus yesterday for the first time this cycle! We are getting sooooo close.
I asked lisedea over in QP&P to help me out with chart interpretation/insem. timing with fresh sperm, since delayed ovulation happened last month. It's scary that it might happen again and I only get 2 (max 3) insems, and it doesn't feel good to rely entirely on OPKs. DP did buy the ClearBlue Easy also to double check with the smiley face (we've been using the test strips). If anyone wants to try their hand at chart interpretation who also has good experience with fresh sperm, let me know!
I am getting seriously excited for this insemination.
pregnancy dreams every night, holding my stomach during the day just meditating for a conception this week, yoga class yesterday (hehe Sphinxy!!), being grateful for our kind and wonderful KD.
we made a space for him to feel comfortable in our house away from others (we live in a town-home but we made a little living space in the basement for him!)
Everything is ready. Just waiting on that little eggie of mine!
xo scorp
Friederike: I hope St. Nicholas fills your boot with lots of baby dust!! Also can you post the herbs/teas you are using. I've tried several herbs and currently still take red raspberry. I just wonder what others are trying with herbs, supplements, or teas to maximize fertility.
Scorp and Sphinxy: getting down to the wire for insem! Very exciting! Keep talking to those ovaries!!
2justicemamas - Does your employer not offer a group rate (or even better, employer paid) short-term disability insurance plan? That is my plan. My employer's plan kicks in pretty early, I think 7 days after birth. It doesn't cover my whole salary, but I can supplement it with sick time, and thankfully after 7+ years my sick time bank is very well stocked. If that's not an option, it might be worth exploring whether you can do something like Aflac independently without an employer sponsored plan.
darthtunaqueen - Thank you for sharing your drama! This is our safe space for that.
Fille - Thinking of you today and sending a big in case AF stopped by...
Samy - I would say hold out for 9DPO to test if you can. 5DPO seems a little early for pre-AF cramping, unless you have a super short luteal phase. Could be implantation?! FX for you!
Friederike - We are not using any medical interventions for the first few cycles. I think if I'm not pregnant by the end of January we would start exploring those options. The swimmers were purchased in bulk (geez, sounds like Costco!) and I'm comfortable with where my remaining stock will be at with 2 per cycle. Honestly, it takes a big weight off my shoulders to know we are covering more ground time-wise. And, thanks to you and scorpio on the thawing advice. I am wondering if the sperm bank sent those other instructions so as to not be liable for anyone touching the vial too early and giving themselves a nasty freezer burn. As if I care about a silly thing like that when I just want the swimmers to do their job!
Scorpio - I have been using the test strips too, no experience with the digital smiley face thing. Have you tried it in other cycles? I wonder if I should have DW pick one up on her way home today...
Afm, the swimmers are here! Yay! My OPK was completely blank white negative at noon! Boo! (How in the world does that happen when I had what looked like a strong fade-in almost positive yesterday?!?!) My CM is slowly starting to come around, but I still wouldn't call it EW, and I can still feel heaviness in my right ovary. Argh! The waiting and guessing is so frustrating. I am petrified of inseminating too late. I am going to do another OPK later this afternoon. I don't know how I am going to sleep tonight if I don't get a positive or some good EWCM. Excited, nervous, hopeful, anxious... repeat.
Fertility herbs:
Horsetail (increase blood flow), lady' mantle (stimulating and cycle regulation), silverweed (fertility), lemon balm (calming, tastes good), common yarrow (uterus toning, anti-toxins), blackberry leaves, ribwort plantain (cycle regulation), ginseng (toning), blackhaw (ovary and uterus blood flow), sage + rosmary (increase estrogen), pasqueflower and vitex (progesterone)
Alkaline tea mix:
Nettle 32%, Peppermint 25%, lemon gras 25%, green oat straw 10%, Mate 5% , horsetail 2%, yarrow 1%
Now I just need to let my KD know that we're on for January. I have so much anxiety around this part of the process, since I'm asking the big-city boy to come hang out with me for a week once a month in the middle of nowhere VT. (Okay, it's the state capital, but it has a population just shy of 8,000, and the term city is entirely based on the system of governance, not size.) Because KD's working on his dissertation, his schedule is much more flexible than mine (he can write anywhere), and I desperately don't want to use up leave trying to get pregnant that I will want for baby leave, but I know it puts a burden on him, and if this process takes months and months, we'll probably have to talk about me going out there at least every few tries, to be more fair about it.
The nice thing about this first "real try" (as I've decided to frame it) is that I'll know a month in advance when my fertile window is going to be (once I O this month), while in future months, I won't know if/when he needs to come until my period starts (so, 2 weeks notice on a plane ticket).
This is how much better I feel on CD1 than the day before. I am having no trouble whatsoever counting my blessings:
Good things about not being pregnant yet:
- Having another couple of months before I try again means I can stick with my semi-elimination/low sugar diet and hopefully continuing losing weight and tighten my control over my blood sugar--I have T2 diabetes and my numbers are good enough for just me, but not low enough for pregnancy, so if I can't get them consistently where they need to be, I'll have to start insulin. (I don't care about the needles and such, but if you're on insulin, there's a lot more push for birth interventions, which I'm hoping to avoid.)
- In that same vein, I really need to get a good moderate exercise routine in place before I get pregnant, since you're not supposed to "start" exercising in pregnancy.
- It would be quite nice to get the donor contract signed before I get pregnant. It's currently stuck somewhere in lawyer limbo, and neither J nor I have heard anything for a month. (Ironically, I emailed my lawyer to check in on this, and she charged $39 against my retainer for responding to my email and emailing J's lawyer for an update--which we still haven't gotten.)
Good things about upcoming cycles:
- I'm excited to be able to start temping with my trusty BBT again this month--most of the reason my O date was so uncertain this month is that I forgot to bring it on my trip and ended up buying a new one on CD10, which meant I only had a few pre-O temps.
- Next time the timing won't be catch as catch can. Unless O is way off normal, we'll have my most likely fertile window more or less covered.
- We'll have a chance for J to get a semen analysis done before January.
I have a crazy busy rest of the week, all about moving full speed ahead into 2013, so I really have no time to fret, which is awesome:
- I joined the local UU church when I moved here (I'm a big ol' agnostic, but they're a-okay with that, and it seemed like one of the best ways to get to know like-minded people--plus, I started volunteering in the nursery, which is a total baby fix!), and trained this summer be an OWL instructor (UU's "comprehensive lifelong sexuality education"). I'll be co-teaching the K-1 OWL through January and February. (K-1 curriculum: "everybody's family is different and that's great," "these are the real names of your body parts,""nobody's allowed to touch you, and here's what to do if someone tries," and "where babies come from."), and tonight is our parent orientation.
- We're finally getting started with a local queer youth night in January (a branch of the existing queer youth program up in the "big city" of Burlington), and I have one final facilitator shadowing at the original group before I can start facilitating down here, so I'll be doing that on Friday night.
All in all, while I'm sad not to be pregnant today, I'm feeling really great about the next few months!
Now, bring on the BFPs, so I can live vicariously!
37, hoping to have a new member of the family in 2016, to join my queer clan: Me , Things 1&2 , my long-distance KD/cheerleader (the guy who's been telling everyone what a great mom I'm going to be) , and the rest of the superheroes and sidekicks .
Hi everyone, good luck to all this month making babies I'm getting the results of the MRI on my knee next week so hoping any ops can happen early on so can get back to thinking about TTC
Liz (40) 'wife' to Abby (33). together 2001, 'Married' 2004. Fur babies Harvey, Bailey & Evie & Churchill
Second IVF successful, he's here!!!!
DS born 12/4/2012, weight 6lb11
IVF 31st July 2013 12 eggs retrieved, 2 morula (nearly blasts) transferred 5th August,...
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Photos and Review by Oyster.com Investigators
Centrally located, artsy property with attached spa
Firenze Number Nine certainly plays off the city's artistic heritage. The trendy lobby, with a creatively arched ceiling, plush chairs and a fireplace, is filled with sculpture and hanging art. The rooms are similarly chic. Located around the corner from the Medici Chapels, the hotel is a perfect spot for someone looking to both explore the city and to unwind in the sauna or with a spa treatment. There is also an on-site restaurant that employs graduates and students from a local culinary school.
In a pedestrian-only area close to major attractions
The hotel's understated entrance on a narrow side street is easy to miss, but the location is extremely central. The hotel is around the corner from the Medici chapels at the Basilica of San Lorenzo, a five-minute walk to the Florence Cathedral, better known as the Duomo, and a 10-minute walk to the Uffizi Gallery and the Ponte Vecchio.
Spacious and chic rooms, some with balconies
The 42 air-conditioned rooms are spacious and attractive, with parquet floors and neutral color schemes (light brown walls, headboards covered in white fabric, and pops of brightness in the bedding and chairs). There are flat-screen TVs and tea kettles, and some packages include free first-round access to the minibar. Bathrooms have bidets, large stall showers with modern fixtures, and spacious countertops, some with double sinks. Some suites have a small balcony overlooking the surrounding red-tile roofs. The penthouse has a large living area on the bottom floor and a bedroom upstairs.
Access to a fitness center, spa, and gourmet restaurant
One of the main amenities the hotel offers is access to the attached fitness club and Klab spa, which has saunas, a Turkish bath, and a large whirlpool. Spa treatments can be purchased for an extra fee. The hotel's restaurant, La Prova del Nove, is staffed with graduates and students of Florence's Saffi Catering Institute. It is open for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and serves dishes that are a modern take on traditional Tuscan cuisine.
This artsy and stylish boutique hotel with 42 spacious and air-conditioned rooms is a short walk to many of Florence's main attractions. It offers guests use of the adjoining fitness center and spa, with a sauna, Turkish bath and a whirlpool -- a rarity for Florence hotels. Similarly trendy hotels in the area may offer a slightly better value, but not the same access to amenities.
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Cloudera Engineering Blog · Kite SDK Posts
Collection Aliasing: Near Real-Time Search for Really Big Data
- by Mark Miller
- October 25, 2013
- 3 comments
The rise of Big Data has been pushing search engines to handle ever-increasing amounts of data. While building Cloudera Search, one of the things we considered in Cloudera Engineering was how we would incorporate Apache Solr with Apache Hadoop in a way that would enable near-real-time indexing and searching on really big data.
Eventually, we built Cloudera Search on Solr and Apache Lucene, both of which have been adding features at an ever-faster pace to aid in handling more and more data. However, there is no silver bullet for dealing with extremely large-scale data. A common answer in the world of search is "it depends," and that answer applies in large-scale search as well. The right architecture for your use case depends on many things, and your choice will generally be guided by the requirements and resources for your particular project.
Email Indexing Using Cloudera Search
- by Jeff Shmain
- September 25, 2013
- 3 comments
Why would any company be interested in searching through its vast trove of email? A better question is: Why wouldn't everybody be interested?
Email has become the most widespread method of communication we have, so there is much value to be extracted by making all emails searchable and readily available for further analysis. Some common use cases that involve email analysis are fraud detection, customer sentiment and churn, lawsuit prevention, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. Each and every company can extract tremendous value based on its own business needs.
Next Stops for The Cloudera Sessions: Jersey City, Miami, Denver, Milwaukee
In its first leg of its tour of the United States earlier this year (see photos here), The Cloudera Sessions proved to be an invaluable single-day event for business and technical leaders exploring practical applications of Apache Hadoop. So valuable, in fact, that we've extended the tour with dates/cities this September and October.
This Month in the Ecosystem
The ecosystem is evolving at a rapid pace – so rapidly, that important developments are often passing through the public attention zone too quickly. Thus, we think it might be helpful to bring you a digest (by no means complete!) of our favorite highlights on a regular basis. (This effort, by the way, has different goals than the fine Hadoop Weekly newsletter, which has a more expansive view – and which you should subscribe to immediately, as far as we're concerned.)
Find the first installment below. Although the time period reflected here is obviously more than a month long, we have some catching up to do before we can move to a truly monthly cadence.
Introducing Morphlines: The Easy Way to Build and Integrate ETL Apps for Hadoop
- by Wolfgang Hoschek
- July 11, 2013
- 2 comments
This post is the first in a series of blog posts about Cloudera Morphlines, a new command-based framework that simplifies data preparation for Apache Hadoop workloads. To check it out or help contribute, you can find the code here.
Cloudera Morphlines is a new open source framework that reduces the time and effort necessary to integrate, build, and change Hadoop processing applications that extract, transform, and load data into Apache Solr, Apache HBase, HDFS, enterprise data warehouses, or analytic online dashboards. If you want to integrate, build, or facilitate transformation pipelines without programming and without substantial MapReduce skills, and get the job done with a minimum amount of fuss and support costs, this post gets you started.
What's Next for HBase? Big Data Applications Using Frameworks Like Kiji
- by Michael Stack
- June 10, 2013
- no comments
Michael Stack is the chair of the Apache HBase PMC and has been a committer and project "caretaker" since 2007. Stack is a Software Engineer at Cloudera.
Apache Hadoop and HBase have quickly become industry standards for storage and analysis of Big Data in the enterprise, yet as adoption spreads, new challenges and opportunities have emerged. Today, there is a large gap — a chasm, a gorge — between the nice application model your Big Data Application builder designed and the raw, byte-based APIs provided by HBase and Hadoop. Many Big Data players have invested a lot of time and energy in bridging this gap. Cloudera, where I work, is developing the Cloudera Development Kit (CDK). Kiji, an open source framework for building Big Data Applications, is another such thriving option. A lot of thought has gone into its design. More importantly, long experience building Big Data Applications on top of Hadoop and HBase has been baked into how it all works.
Kiji provides a model and set of libraries that help you get up and running quickly.
Cloudera Development Kit (CDK): Hadoop Application Development Made Easier
- by Eric Sammer & Tom White
- May 07, 2013
- no comments
Editor's Note (Dec. 11, 2013): As of Dec. 2013, the Cloudera Development Kit is now known as the Kite SDK. Links below are updated accordingly.
At Cloudera, we have the privilege of helping thousands of developers learn Apache Hadoop, as well as build and deploy systems and applications on top of Hadoop. While we (and many of you) believe that platform is fast becoming a staple system in the data center, we're also acutely aware of its complexities. In fact, this is the entire motivation behind Cloudera Manager: to make the Hadoop platform easy for operations staff to deploy and manage.


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Adult film star Sunny Leone, who has given some bold scenes in her upcoming film "Jackpot", says sexiness is not about showing skin.
"Each one of my hot scenes is sexy and beautiful. Unfortunately, sometimes sexiness gets confused with how much skin you show," the 32-year-old said here Wednesday at the trailer launch of "Jackpot".
"In my eyes, sexiness comes from how you act and how you dress. It's not about how much skin you show," she added.
The Indo-Canadian adult film star entered Hindi filmdom with "Jism 2" and scorched the screen by getting intimate with co-stars Randeep Hooda and Arunoday Singh in the thriller.
If reports are to be believed, she has bold scenes in her upcoming films like "Ragini MMS 2" and "Tina & Lolo" too.
Directed by Kaizad Gustad, "Jackpot" also stars Sachiin Joshi and Naseeruddin Shah and hits theatres Dec 13.
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wah sunny wahhh...
sanskaat jhalak rahe hai... dekh kar aankhme aansoon aa gaye.. jai funny maata
Sunny show us something funny
Sunny aunty aapko itani achhi bate kon sikhata hai aap to humari soch se jyada sanskari nikali jai ho funny matadi and what is adult film? sidhe sidhe bola na po*n filam ki shuper ishtar
u both r very impress i think... @barun @ sizzling barun...
Tfs Sunny didi
hayeee buhat achi batein karti ho ap
Sexiness is not about skin show
wow thanks for the info dear
Sunny Leone finds it "unprofessional" on the part of item girl Rakhi ...
Focusing on the four different corners of the subcontinent and their ...
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One forum member was casting around for cost-effective alternatives to replacing the non-skid pads on his houseboat's stairs...
Conntek's latest Bluetooth Speaker Bulb is bringing on a fun atmosphere for houseboaters everywhere.
Webasto Thermo & Comfort North America's range of air conditioners, heaters and marine sunroofs has just launched their all-new Air Top Evo models.
Have a fun and safe Fourth of July celebration, everybody!
These summer delights will be perfect for a Fourth of July kick-off!
© 2015 Houseboat® Magazine | Published by Harris Publishing, Inc.
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