text: Garrison Keillor--Midwestern Enigma Posted on Nov 19, 2014 by Scott Cawelti Here's a paper I delivered last night to the "Town-Gown Supper Club," a long-running club of Cedar Valley residents, half of whom are academics and half non-academics. They each deliver a talk to the other members, and it meets once a month, so we're all obligated to speak every so often. (24 members, give or take). Last night was my turn, and I chose Garrison Keillor because he's one of us, and I've been an erstwhile fan (and kindred spirit) since early adulthood. It was fun to write--I still find Keillor hilarious--and just as fun to read, maybe. *************************** GARRISON KEILLOR, MIDWESTERN ENIGMA Garrison Keillor, writer, radio personality, humorist, satirist, all-around enigma, and I come from the same cohort—born eleven months apart, he in August, '42 and me in July, '43, graduating from high school in '60 and '61, respectively—he in Anoka, Minnesota, and me in Cedar Falls, Iowa, 235 miles South-Southeast. We both played in high school rock bands, he in the Pharaohs of Rhythm and me in the Ramrods. We both loved Buddy Holly's singing and his songs—"Peggy Sue," "Every Day," "That'll be the Day," "Not Fade Away." Indeed, we both performed them. And we both grew up in the fifties—in Midwest small towns, the heart of the heart of the country. Our hometowns were both originally settled by Scandinavians—Norwegians for Anoka, Danish for Cedar Falls. He majored in English with a strong side interest in music. I majored in Music with a strong pull toward serious reading, and eventually jumped the fence into English. To get really personal, Keillor remarried for the third time in 1995, and I remarried for the third time in 1996. We have so much in common, including radio punditry and political outlook, that, except for degrees of fame and fortune, we're kindred spirits. So over the years I've been drawn to his work in recognition, admiration, and—yes--envy. As a matter of fact, years ago I met Garrison—I can't call him Gary— when I performed with Robert Waller on the KUNI version of Prairie Home Companion. He brought his cast and crew to Lang Hall in the late seventies, not for broadcast—we weren't ready for prime time—but as a KUNI fundraiser. He was unhappy with us for playing an extra song, and didn't seem interested in any personal connection whatsoever. I didn't take his distance personally, but felt surprised that his real self wasn't the downhome, warm and fuzzy persona he projects on air. He was cold, distant, even angry that we played an extra song. That ended our Prairie Home Companion career and our fifteen minutes of fame. (Mine, anyway; Waller went on to untold riches and notoriety.) Still, I followed his career like I would a brother's, and this paper represents a culmination of my examination of Garrison Keillor as an enigmatic personality. For the past few months I've been reading Keillor monologues, novels, memoirs, a book of jokes, and his recently published book of poems, O WHAT A LUXURY: VERSES LYRICAL, VULGAR, PATHETIC, AND PROFOUND. If nothing else, Garrison Keillor seems utterly untroubled by writer's block. Our hero is a gathering of contradictions: mellow but angry, poor but rich, depressed but funny, angry but beloved, a successful performer and writer who lives like a Republican but thinks like a Democrat. He's shy and reclusive, resenting intrusions on his privacy in the form of questions about his marriages, his affairs, and his wealth. His net worth approaches 1.5 million, and that doesn't square with his downhome, egalitarian Democrat folksy persona. Yet that's a persona that he cannot abandon without forsaking millions of fans, who take him as the archetypal Midwesterner. What redeems him from every flaw, hypocrisy, crankiness, and mood swing, is his storytelling. A master storyteller captivates listeners and readers so skillfully that personal failings are forgotten or ignored. Garrison spins Lake Wobegone tales impromptu, giving them an aura of spontaneity and freshness. I've watched and heard him unfold extended and coherent stories onstage, with never so much as a nod at a notecard or prompt. He glances around the audience stoically inscrutable; occasionally a sly smile will cross his features, but he never breaks out into a guffaw or even a chuckle; I've never heard or seen him actually laugh. He'd make a great poker player. I 've compared written versions in his collections with spoken monologues with the same titles on CDs, and they're quite different—evidence that he makes them up as he goes along. He's told audiences that writing is a process of discovery, and he's always discovering as he talks—on radio, in front of a live audience. It's a verbal high wire act. The only comparable radio personality I know of is Orson Welles, who had an equivalent pillowy resonant baritone voice, and a similar gift for making up compelling stories on the spot. Of course, Welles was a genuine genius, and Keillor is not, but damn close at times. His monologues begin and end with the same phrases, signaling that we're entering and leaving his imaginative re-creation of life in a small Minnesota town: "It's been a quiet week in Lake Wobegone, my hometown . . ." and ends with "And that's the news from Lake Wobegone, where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average." Between those phrases he engenders serious laughter, and a lot of it. That's his trifecta: story, delivery, and humor. "Prairie Home Companion" tickets regularly sell out, and millions tune in weekly. It began on July 6, 1974, and is still going strong from the Fitzgerald Theater in St. Paul, and all around the country during various tours; you might have noticed that it originated from Des Moines recently. As of last July, that's 40 years. GK, as he's known in Robert Altman's 2006 film, Prairie Home Companion, began the show when he was a lad in his early thirties. He's now 72, refusing to retire after a couple of scares—a heart problem that required open-heart surgery and a minor stroke. He took two years off in Copenhagen in the late 1980s for a second marriage to a Danish woman he met in high school when she attended Anoka High School as a Danish foreign exchange student. Incidentally, his current third and longest marriage (1995) is to violinist Jenny Lind Nillson, who also grew up in Anoka. Now, back to that trifecta: story, delivery, and humor. These go a long ways toward explaining his immediate appeal, but not his longevity. Two other elements assure both longevity and even posterity, since Keillor's fans keep creating new fans, his books assure continuance in print form, his monologues keep getting play on car radios, and Robert Altman's film made him recognizable as a screen presence. He's the utter center of that film, by the way—it all revolves around him, minus the uncinematic monologue. Those two other elements? Horatian Satire and Norwegian Bachelor Farmers, i.e. the Scandinavian ethos that undergirds all his writing and performing. These are the fourth and fifth essential aspects of Garrison Keillor's ongoing appeal. Horatian satire is so named because of the Roman poet Horace, who made gentle fun of his fellow Romans' follies and foibles, revealing them in all their contradictions and silliness. Horace's odes are lighthearted, gentle, and his literary heirs are Chaucer with his Canterbury Tales, Jonathan Swift with his Gulliver's Travels, Matt Groening with his Simpsons. And Garrison Keillor with his strong women, good-looking men, and above average children. It's not topical, it's not slapstick, it's not gross or physical humor—fart jokes excepted—instead, it's gentle ridicule of somebody's mostly inadvertent but inescapable foibles—shy, mute, reclusive, almost invisible people who suppress most evidence of having an ego. Ridicule is not necessarily that appealing if you're the one being made fun of. In fact, it can be a nasty weapon in the mouth of a bully. But if it's done in the Horatian manner—that is, gently and with the clear understanding that it applies to everyone, including the speaker or writer, it can be effective and hugely entertaining. Keillor insists that he's one of us, insecure, geeky and nerdy growing up, downright ugly (I have a face that's made for radio, he insists) and morbidly shy, except when he's performing for millions. There's that enigma again. He tells the story of being completely smitten with one of his beautiful female classmates at Anoka High but never having the courage to speak to her. One day on a field trip, she was sitting next to a vacant seat on the school bus as he climbed aboard. He dared to sit beside her—it took all of his courage—and then—ever so secretively and gently—put his arm behind her, not really touching her. She paid no attention, just looking out the school bus window and treating him as though he were elsewhere. Then his hand grazed the back of her shoulder, and she turned and looked straight at him. He gazed straight back, hoping for a smile or at least an acknowledgement of his existence, if not a trace of affection, and she said: "What?" He says he's been looking for the answer to that question his whole life. This self-denigration gives him leeway to make fun of his tribe—that vast subset of Americans from Ohio to Wyoming, Minnesota to Missouri. And they all seem to be Lutheran. Keillor insists that everyone in Minnesota is a Lutheran. The Catholics are Lutheran. So are the Baptists and Episcopalians. Even the atheists are Lutheran—"The God they don't believe in is Lutheran." He grew up among Lutherans, even though he was a member of a tiny fundamentalist sect—the Plymouth Brethren—they too were Lutherans in their behavior and outlook. They lived extremely quiet, bland, retiring, virtually ego-free lives, and though they were generous, it was mostly to other "Lutherans" of their sect. Their closed society was a way of making sure every one stayed Lutheran. When someone strayed, they were quietly and subtly shunned, made to feel there was something wrong with them. Lutherans passively and quietly exercise this form of social control, and many of Keillor's stories and novels concern characters who broke free, who dared to dance and raise hell and smoke and drink and have wild sex and even leave town to move to Florida and California—only to return for visits—and leave as quickly as possible, sensing they're no longer welcome. A Minnesota saying: "There'd be more suicides in Minnesota if it weren't for what the neighbors would think." He jokes about the Lutheran shipwreck survivor who disappeared for twenty years, then miraculously found on a tiny island. They pick him up, and he gladly agrees to leave his lonely patch of land. As he's getting into the rescue boat, they notice a small hut with a chimney for his home, and another hut with a cross over the door. And yet a third hut, unadorned, further back. "So that's your home," they notice, "and there's your church—what's that other building back there." "Ah, yah—that's the church I used to go to." Lutheran sects sprung up like weeds, constantly and everywhere, due to disagreements over—well, anything and everything. That's Keillor's oft-repeated assertion. These are the good citizens of Lake Wobegone—or rather, that portion of them that really live and breathe the "Jante" laws of Scandinavia. Norwegian\Danish writer Aksel Sandemose wrote a novel, A Fugitive Crosses His Tracks, published in 1936, in which he posits a small Danish town, Jante, where everyone without fail follows ten rules. These "Jantelovian Commandments" have become a satirical indictment of the Scandinavian ethos, best exemplified in GK by his Norwegian Bachelor Farmers: 1. You're not to think you are anything special. 2. You're not to think you are as good as we are. 3. You're not to think you are smarter than we are. 4. You're not to convince yourself that you are better than we are. 5. You're not to think you know more than we do. 6. You're not to think you are more important than we are. 7. You're not to think you are good at anything. 8. You're not to laugh at us. 9. You're not to think anyone cares about you. 10. You're not to think you can teach us anything. Note the 8th law: you're not to laugh at us. That's the one that Keillor has broken from the very beginning, and has asserted that he actively set out to alienate Lutherans by making fun of them. Keillor knows that successful satirists must remain outsiders, and his ridicule of Lutherans certainly helped that along. Incidentally, he does go to church—the Episcopalian—having long ago given up on the Plymouth Brethren. He loves Episcopalian rituals and songs, he says, though I doubt that he's a genuine believer. Now here are samples of his writings, illustrating his satire and that Scandinavian ethos: FROM LAKE WOEBEGONE DAYS: (p. 22) "I crossed Main Street toward Ralph's and stopped, hearing a sound from childhood in the distance. The faint mutter of ancient combines. Norwegian bachelor farmers combining in their antique McCormacks, the old six-footers. New combines cut a twenty-foot swath, but those guys aren't interested in getting done sooner, it would only mean a longer wait until bedtime." From "Aprille"—a Lake Wobegone monologue: "Spring has come, grass is green, the trees are leafing out, birds arriving every day by the busload, and now the Norwegian bachelor farmers are washing their sheets." From GOODBYE TO THE LAKE, monolog: Rain fell all morning and everyone was in a festive mood, the Chatterbox was packed for dinner. A bunch of Norwegian bachelor farmers piled into the back booth and had mushroom soup and liverwurst sandwiches. "Looks like this may keep up all day," one said. "Yeah, that's what they're sayin." If a drought were to kill off his crops, a bachelor farmer might be forced to contemplate marriage, the last refuge for men unable to fend for themselves, just as poor Mr. Hauge did in the drought of '59. He married a Saint Cloud woman and died six months later and not from excitement. To them, rain means that life continues, and they cleared their throats like happy lions, Braaagbbbbb." And from LAKE WOEBEGONE DAYS this fuller description, beginning with Mr. Berge and how he blew his nose: Other residents (of Lake Wobegone) come to mind as people who if you were showing a friend from college around town and you saw them you would grab his arm and make a hard U-turn, such as Mr. Berge, not because he might be drunk but because whether drunk or sober he might blow his nose with his index finger the old farmer way. Farmers still do this in the field, though most of them know that town is a different situation, but not Mr. Berge and his friends, the Norwegian bachelor farmers. Their only concession to town is a slight duck of the head for modesty's sake. To them, the one-hand blow is in the same league with spitting, which they also do, and scratching in the private regions. They never learned the trick of reaching down deep in your pocket and feeling around for a dime until you solve the problem. When ill at ease, such as when meeting a friend, they are apt to do all three in quick succession, spit, blow, and scratch—pthoo, snarf, ahhhh—no more self-conscious than a dog. 'Tis better to apologize than to ask permission," says Clarence, arguing for greater boldness in life. The bachelor farmers, however, do neither. On a warm day, six of them may roost on the plank bench in front of Ralph's, in peaceful defiance of Lutheranism, chewing, spitting, snarfling, and p-thooing, until he chases them away to the Sidetrack Tap (they're bad advertising for a grocery store, the heftiness of them seems to recommend a light diet) and then they may not go. Mr. Munch may just spit on the sidewalk, study it, and say, "I don't see no sign says No Sitting." "You get up, I'll paint one for you," says Ralph. They may wait a long time before they go. "Tellwiddem," says Mr. Fjerde, "Tellwid all ovum," says Mr. Munch. The Norwegian Bachelor's password: Tellwitcha. We are all crazy in their eyes. All the trouble we go to for nothing: ridiculous. Louis emerging from his job at the bank, white shirt and blue bow tie, shiny brown shoes, delicately stepping across the street for lunch: Dumb bastard. . . . .. . in their hearts, the bachelor farmers are all sixteen years old. Painfully shy, perpetually disgruntled, elderly teenagers leaning against a wall, watching the parade through the eyes of the last honest men in America: ridiculous. Clarence mentioned this when I was eighteen and complaining about my father's lawn compulsions—grass is meant to get long, it's part of nature, nature is growth. "You should talk to the Norwegian bachelors, you have a lot in common," he said. I said to myself: ridiculous. That's Garrison Keillor: not only does he make fun of the Scandinavian Jante ethos through Norwegian Bachelor Farmers, he's one of them. At bottom, all of Keillor's monologues and much of his other prose seems to have been written by the quintessential Norwegian Bachelor Farmer—a painfully shy (now elderly) teenager who out of his own insecurities finds most everyone and everything just plain ridiculous, and therefore worthy of ridicule. Take Clarence Bunson, who went to church without any cash. So he had to write a check to put in the collection plate—you can't leave church without leaving a donation—what would the ushers think? But he wrote it for $300 instead of what he intended--$30, so his dilemma became whether he could go downstairs and ask the ushers for his check back. Oh, the humiliation, and oh, the necessity, since $300 was more than he had in his account. Finally, a few of his poems, where he truly shines as a Minnesota's bachelor farmer poet laureate. First, "Lutheranism Explained" I was raised in Iowa, went to St. Olaf, /Norwegian, I'm proud to say./ Thirty years a member of Zion Lutheran,/ I'm there every Sunday. /Always sit in the back of the church, /Always in the same pew. /I like the folks who sit back there, /They're Norwegian too. /We are a modest people /And we never make a fuss /And it sure would be a better world/ If they were all as modest as us./ We sing the hymns, listen to the sermon, /Go up front and commune, /Drop in the money, shake hands with the pastor /And we're out by a quarter to noon. /Episcopalians are proud of their faith, /You ought to hear them talk./ Who they got? /They got Henry the 8th /And we got J. S. Bach. Henry the 8th'd marry a woman/ And then her head would drop. /J. S. Bach had 23 kids /Cause his organ had no stop. /We got a female associate pastor /And she's nice, don't get me wrong,/ But the boots she wears are what I'd call sexy / And the skirt's not what I'd call long./ She's single and she smiles a lot/ And she sure does like her beer/ And I've been talking to some of the others /And we trust she's gone next year. /Here at Zion Lutheran Attendance seems to be down /And that's because most of the membership /Is six feet underground. /We don't go for long-term planning, /No need to look that far. /Luther said we're saved by grace/ So we're good enough just as we are. /If you come to church, don't expect to be hugged, /Don't expect your hand to be shook. /If we need to know who the heck you are, /We can look in the visitors book. /I was raised to keep a lid on it, /Guard what you say or do. /A Mighty Fortress is our God/ So He must be Lutheran too. "Minnesota Rouser" Let winter come and walk roughshod /With sleet and freezing rains. /We fear it not, we trust in God /And jumper cables and tire chains. /We're prepared for the good fight, /We shall be cheerful though the blizzard blows. /Though it is ten below, a long cold night, /We trust in coffee and warm clothes. /From Worthington to Grand Marais, /From Lake Vermilion to Red Wing, /We thank God for the coldest day/ And offer up our suffering. /From Bemidji to Anoka, /From Rochester to Roseau, /Winter makes us finer folk, a- /Las we're modest and can't say so. And "Times Square" I was born with an affliction, /A disposition or mood /Of silent introspection, /A tendency to brood. /I brood about good people I knew/ In the bygone time gone by/ & what I should've done & didn't do /& won't before I die. /But I come to New York (boom boom)/ & the razzmatazz, hullabaloo & jazz. /The guy with a snake wound around his chest /The anti-fur protest /A street-corner preacher and the quack quack man/ Boys beating on a garbage can /The river of taxis and the quiet roar /Of ambition. And I don't feel sorry anymore. /Henry Thoreau went to Walden Pond, /Sat at a table in a straightback chair. /I'd rather be in Times Square /& look at that six-story blonde /On the billboard wearing black underwear. /And a lady out of a fashion magazine /A lady in black, her lips bright red /How did she ever get into those jeans /A beautiful woman, so I'll just drop dead /New York—(boom boom) when all is said / Is where I go to get out of my head. Finally, the summing up poem: WHY I LIVE IN MINNESOTA Where the temp gets down to thirty below And it's perfectly flat, miles of snow, And you ask why I live in this desolate spot. Why? Because you do not. You in loud clothes With lacquered hair And monster pickups And not much upstairs, Who whoop in church And worship the Word, For whom evolution Has not yet occurred. The men shoot gators Out in the marsh, While the women stay home And hang up the warsh. It's all about rifles And the Second Comin' And wave the flag And down with Gummint And up with football And the G.O.P. Now what if those people Lived next door to me? And the only thing That keeps them away Is the fact it will hit Minus thirty today? Winter's a challenge But it can be faced When you're among people With brains and good taste. Garrison Keillor, the Norwegian bachelor farmer, feeling secretly superior, yet suffering heavy guilt about it, happy to be living in a state that so many want to leave—and which he can happily leave whenever he wants for his posh NYC Apartment--to find refuge from himself. An enigma indeed. Yet he always returns to making fun of Scandinavian Midwesterners who still delight in his warm and gentle ridicule. At least someone's paying attention to them—and to him. Go comment! Posted in Language & Writing Humor Personalities Cedar Valley Chronicles {{Title}} Remove Change Death Politics Christmas Education Conservatives/Liberals Crime Movies Humor Mysteries Graduation Aging & Birthdays Predictions alcohol Arts Health Romance/Love Hot Button Issues Battle of Sexes Reviews Travel Censorship Political Limericks satire Cedar Valley Chronicles Satire Meth Reviews Aging and Birthdays Recipes and cooking Religiosity Language & Writing Nostalgia Personalities Death Holidays Recipes and cooking Done Midwestern Style, a la Gary Kroeger Posted on Apr 28, 2014 by Scott Cawelti This was first published on March 8, 1987, and it seems to hold up pretty well, given the passage of 27 years or so. Gary Kroeger in fact has returned Cedar Falls, Iowa, --ever the Midwesterner. He does seem perfectly suited to the "land in its working clothes," as poet James Hearst once called Iowa. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ There's no denying this: we're all Midwesterners. How do we know that? Because we all act alike, as anyone from California knows. So when Midwestern characters show up in television programs, they behave in the expected fashion. Otherwise, don't you know, the audience would get confused. A case in point is "Spies," the new CBS adventure/comedy that stars Cedar Falls native Gary Kroeger and Mr. California Tan himself, George Hamilton as "Ian Stone." Kroeger plays "Smythe," a new spy for "the company" who idolizes Ian Stone, and through a series of plot strains, gets to be his partner. Smythe hails from the Midwest, (Kansas) and boy, and does it show? Let us count the ways: • His clothes. "If you're going to work for me," Stone tell him, "you've got to stop looking like an Amway salesman." Stone buys Smythe (from their expense account) two thousand bucks worth of designer clothes. Oddly enough, pre-fashion wardrobe Smythe looks great to me: button-down shirts that almost fit, run-down loafers, semi-baggy pants. Smythe complains that he prefers Sears to Ralph Lauren. Ian Stone sniffs, "You think Cheryl Tiegs really wears that stuff?" So from now on, Smythe won't look much like a Midwesterner. Instead, he'll look like a Midwesterner in California clothes. • His language. He says "darn" a lot. "DARN?" asks Stone. "Where'd you get that expression?" "Kansas," replies poor Smythe. "We say that a lot out there." He also says "a lot" a lot. And if he had been writing it, he would have spelled it "alot." That's how my Midwestern writing students spell it. Smythe also speaks with the voice of a parent. Every other sentence contains "should" or "must" or "have to." That's the Midwest, through and through. • His conscience. This is the trait that "Spies" plays up the most. Ian Stone amounts to an American James Bond, always with the women, always seeming to put pleasure before business. He's a playboy, an irresponsible high-living, big spending rake. Smythe, however, worries constantly about Stone's wasteful lifestyle. "Couldn't you drive a nice Pinto?" he whines, as they sit in Stone's Ferrari. By way of reply, Stone shoots Smythe a withering glare. Every Midwesterner who's gone to California has seen such glares. I saw it several times last summer when I asked Riverside natives why they can't use the municipal swimming pools, (instead of wasting precious water for backyard pools) or why they can't build a decent mass transit system. I played Smythe to their Stones on a daily basis. • His frugality. Smythe constantly worries about money, counts up their expenses, calculates their budget. Stone, meanwhile, brings in blindfolded musicians to play for his private parties, rents whole skating rinks for his date, and draws ahead on his company salary. (He's been paid ahead until 1997.) Smythe insists that they pay as they go. Stone seizes the day, and lets tomorrow take care of itself. Come to think of it, the federal deficit comes by way of a former Californian. It all makes sense. We can moan about having to live down these Midwestern stereotypes all we want, yet when people hear where we're from, they see Gary Kroeger's Smythe fashion-blind, conscience-stricken, frugal to a fault. Darn it all, anyway. A lot. Go comment! Posted in Personalities Humor Cedar Valley Chronicles {{Title}} Remove Change Death Politics Christmas Education Conservatives/Liberals Crime Movies Humor Mysteries Graduation Aging & Birthdays Predictions alcohol Arts Health Romance/Love Hot Button Issues Battle of Sexes Reviews Travel Censorship Political Limericks satire Cedar Valley Chronicles Satire Meth Reviews Aging and Birthdays Recipes and cooking Religiosity Language & Writing Nostalgia Personalities Death Holidays Recipes and cooking Done


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A Win for Net Neutrality
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Yesterday, the Federal Communications Commission (FCC), voted to support net neutrality. Briefly, net neutrality is the idea that internet service providers (ISPs), like AT&T and Verizon, can not create high speed Internet highways for websites and other online content, in exchange for money. At the moment, Facebook, Netflix, and the IUPUI University Library website all come to you at the same speed. High speed Internet highways could favor some websites over others for the right price. Net neutrality reinforces the concept that more and more, in a ever-growing digital world, access to the Internet (and the services it provides) is becoming a necessity and everyone should have equal access to it. All of it.
The Intenet, of course, celebrated by becoming enthralled with llamas on the lam (#llamawatch) and obsessively arguing about the color of a dress in an image posted on the blogging platform, Tumblr. (I was on team white/gold but then saw the light and switched to blue/black). I love you, Internet. Don't ever change.
As the IUPUI campus moves towards open access, net neutrality wiil play a crucial role. Net neutrality, open access, and open source are becoming important components to fair and equal access to research and knowledge, and especially research on the information superhighway.
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38 year old man | Rosedale, MD, USA | Seeking women 24-35 within 50 miles of Baltimore, MD
What.....me worry?
You mean I only have 4000 characters! Just kidding! Ahhh, how to describe myself. I'm a guy who works hard during the week, and plays hard on the weekends, well, some of the time. Slowly getting out of the bar scene and wanting something a little more serious. Here's hoping all of those couples on the match commericals are still happily together! Grew up here in Baltimore. Actually, it would be more acturate to say that I survived Baltimore. Well the Catholic school part. Was always involved in athletics, I guess thats how I ended up in Ohio for college. Played pro ball for a SHORT period of time and ended up back here, well, lots of long stories in between. some actually funny. So, now here I am, finding the perfect match. To be honest, I don't think the perfect match exists. My perfect match would not be perfect, if that makes any sense! I am looking for someone who is passionate in what they believe, even if I were to disagree. Enjoy similar interests together and experience each others pleasures. She would be independent and caring, and would get the same as well. Loves to laugh and take in all that life has to offer. A partner in crime that also enjoys quiet time. We would learn much from we both have to offer. Must also meet approval of the queen of the house, a sweet, loving six year old..........of the four legged variety....i.e My black Lab. Here's a toast to hoping we all find our "perfect matches.
Book club , Coffee and conversation , Business networking , Dining out , Movies/Videos , Museums and art , Performing arts , Playing cards , Playing sports , Political interests , Religion/Spiritual , Travel/Sightseeing , Volunteering , Watching sports
Aerobics, Baseball, Basketball, Football, Golf, Other types of exercise, Running, Swimming, Walking / Hiking, Weights / Machines, Yoga
I exercise 3-4 times per week.
Don't display my sign
I have Dogs
I like Fish, Horses
Middle of the Road
I'm a fan of seeing the country, love to get away to some quiet spot away from the city...Loved Lake Tahoe, first attempt at skiing wasn't so stellar, was still beautiful..Look forward to doing more traveling. Small, cozy resturants around town.
Maryland seafood with friends. Walks with my dog. Runs around Loch Raven. Good conversation. Simple things in life usually become favorites.
Big fan of the local teams. I play baseball in the spring-summers and rugby in the fall. Depending on the mood, I can be out in Canton/ Fed hill on some weekends while others can be spent @ home with a book in my hands.
One of the great guilty little pleasures in life is reading the New York Post, guess I'm kinda a newspaper dude though the last book I read entirely was A Million Little Pieces and its sequel...Currently reading Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
Z{{Cta}} {{#if HasMoreInfo}} ?{{CtaSecondary}} {{/if}}
|What he is looking for
|6'0" (182cms)
|5'0" (152cms) to 6'0" (182cms)
|Body type:
|Athletic and toned
|Slender, About average, Curvy, Athletic and toned
|No preference
|Dark blonde
|No preference
|No Way
|No Way, Occasionally, Yes, but trying to quit
|Social Drinker
|Social Drinker
|Sales / Marketing
|No preference
Sales for a building supply company, busy, lots of multitasking, listening to others problems....Starting to realize how some in the sales industry burn out. Contemplating getting my Master's degree in Education.
|$35,001 to $50,000
|No preference
|Never Married
|Never Married
|Have kids:
|Wants kids:
|White / Caucasian
|Latino / Hispanic, White / Caucasian
Split down the middle, mom's parents are from Poland, father's parents are from Germany.
|Christian / Catholic
|Christian / Catholic, Christian / Protestant, Christian / Other
Catholic school grad, attend mass most every Sunday, Religion plays a role in my life. Strong values though I will admit that I have started questioning some of the Catholic church's teachings.
|English, Other
|Bachelors degree
|High school, Some college, Associates degree, Bachelors degree, Graduate degree
I have a B.A. in Philosophy from a small liberal arts school in Ohio.


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Homes for Sale in Spanish Fort, AL
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Eddy Zakes
Director of Advancement, Dayton Christian School System
Eddy leads the school's Office of Advancement, providing direction to the organization's marketing, public relations, communications, development/fundraising, alumni relations, and admissions activities. Eddy received a bachelor of science degree in International Business from Bob Jones University where he also minored in Chinese. He is married to Autumn (Shaeffer) Zakes, a graduate of the Dayton Christian High School class of 2000. They have a son named Jonah and another baby on the way. Eddy and Autumn attend Dayton Avenue Baptist Church in Xenia, where they lead the college ministry.


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Thu, Oct 1 2009 - 7:00pm
Winston argues those businesses that go green and get lean stay creative, and engaging will reap the benefits
Thu, Oct 1 2009 - 6:00pm
Learn how Edward Hubble's 100-inch telescope resolved the "Great Debate"
Wed, Sep 30 2009 - 12:00pm
Learn the crucial facts about pandemics and other global health crises from the dean of Harvard's School of Public Health
Tue, Sep 29 2009 - 6:15pm
The woman who helped shape Berkeley cuisine and now helms Gourmet reveals her culinary secrets and discusses the craft of cooking...and eating!
Tue, Sep 29 2009 - 6:00pm
As the climate changes, so must America and its dirty habits. Join the discussion with the EPA's leader as she lays out strategies for cleaning up...
Mon, Sep 28 2009 - 6:00pm
Hear about the Obama campaign, Obama's current relationship with the LGBT Community, and why 2010 is the year to overturn Prop 8
Thu, Sep 24 2009 - 7:00pm
Learn how to identify your passions and translate them into success
Thu, Sep 24 2009 - 6:30pm
One of the state's best historical scholars explores the critical post-World War II period in the Golden State and reveals how it helped shape the...
Thu, Sep 24 2009 - 6:00pm
The governor returns to The Club
Thu, Sep 24 2009 - 6:00pm
Discover how play is not only good for your brain, but for your business relationships as well


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FDA investigates caffeine-added gum, foodComment
A Food and Drug Administration investigation into the safety of caffeine-added foods has prompted Wrigley to take its new caffeinated gum off the market for the time being.
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The preacher was talking about how when he was growing up, he never would have believed he would have three raised beds in the backyard where he grows vegetables, herbs and flowers. That's because his father was a county extension agent and had an acre-sized garden. He had to help out in the garden in […]
God's garden needs weeding
Get lunch tickets now
The deadline is fast approaching for getting your tickets to the fourth annual Tallahatchie RiverFest Community luncheon. The last day to get a ticket is Monday, Sept. 22, for the Friday, Sept. 26, program in the event hall of the First United Methodist Church. Tickets are $15, or you can get a reserved table for […]
Friday Night Lights: Bulldogs scalped by the Indians
It definitely wasn't the bounce back game that New Albany had been looking for. Itawamba quarterback Vijay Miller and the Indians offense couldn't be stopped on Friday, shutting the Bulldogs in a 35-0 final. "Itawamba is a great football team, and they made some mistakes last week that cost them the game. Unfortunately they got […]
Clean up after dogs
We thought awhile about whether this is a subject that warranted an editorial. In the end, we decided to have a go at it. The subject is dog waste or dog excrement or, for those of us not given to euphemisms, dog poop. Dog poop can be a problem, especially if it is not your […]
Barretos back in Union County
Janet and Ramon Barreto were returned to the Union County Jail shortly after 4:30 p.m. Sunday – more than five years after being released on a total of $900,000 bond and dropping out of sight. The manhunt for the couple, which included episodes on "America's Most Wanted," an addition to the U. S. […]
Labor Day to affect deadlines, public services
All governmental offices and many businesses will be closed Monday, Sept. 1, in observance of the Labor Day holiday. The New Albany Gazette will be closed Monday and that will require that deadlines for the Wednesday, Sept. 3, issue will be moved earlier. The deadline for display advertising will be at 4 p.m. Thursday while […]
County investigating burglaries
Staff reports Two burglaries are being investigated by the Union County Sheriff's Office. The burglaries were reported Aug. 20 in eastern Union County, off Highway 30 East. An investigation has determined that the suspect is a black female, as shown in a surveillance video. The woman had driven around the two neighborhoods where the burglaries […]
New Birth Community Church holds open house
New Birth Community Church held an open house Sunday to allow the public to see what the former Irwin B. Schwabe shirt factory has become. The 12-year-old church has been holding services in the small white building on the other side of Clark Street, but had grown from 35 members to more than […]
Supervisors hit snag in courthouse roof repair but get good news concerning care of local mental patients
The Union County Board of Supervisors hit a snag in efforts to have the courthouse roof repaired Monday, but received some good news about the continuing process of how to deal with mental patients. The board had advertised for bids on the courthouse repair work and was prepared to open them Monday, but only received […]
County holds delinquent tax sale Monday
Union County Tax Assessor-Collector Randy Dunnam held this year's delinquent property tax land sale Monday morning. The sale was moved to the chancery courtroom, partly because of the high temperatures outside and because the circuit courtroom was in use for a hearing. The sale drew a standing-room-only crowd but the number of attendees was reduced some […]
- Carnegie Link Up program now available to New Albany elementary students July 1, 2015
- Honoring our nation July 1, 2015
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- Circuit clerk's office to be open for voting Saturday despite holiday July 1, 2015
- Spring cleaning? Well, sort of July 1, 2015
- Honoring our nation July 1, 2015
- City school board adopts no-tax-increase budget, makes money-saving deals July 1, 2015
- Supervisors discuss funding Tupelo women's shelter, industrial tax exemptions July 1, 2015
- Circuit clerk's office to be open for voting Saturday despite holiday July 1, 2015
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Category:Streets in the Bronx
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
|Wikimedia Commons has media related to Streets in the Bronx.
This category has the following 2 subcategories, out of 2 total.
- ► Broadway (Manhattan) (3 C, 155 P)
- ► Park Avenue (56 P)
Pages in category "Streets in the Bronx"
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Peru: Carlos II gold 8 Escudos 1699-R,...
2008 May Long Beach Signature World Coin Auction #3000
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Amazing Carlos II 8 EscudosCarlos II gold 8 Escudos 1699-R, KM26.1, Calico 112, MS64 NGC. Carlos II was the last Spanish King of the Hapsburg Dynasty. Due to his young age when rising to the throne at the age of four, Spain was ruled by the King's mother and her friends for years. Not able to produce an heir with either of his two wives, Carlos named a French prince to succeed him. Late in 1700, Carlos passed away at the age of 39, leaving the kingdom much impoverished. In Lima, mintage of gold coins began in 1696. The specimen presented here is dated 1699 bearing P.V.A. It is an absolutely amazing coin. The field details are bold and sharp and "jumping out" of the coin. The color is bright and original mint luster is still present (!). There is a small planchet crack from striking at four o'clock. The Eliasberg specimen in AU55 brought $14,325 in 2005, and the Karon piece in Choice Very Fine realized $7,700 in 1992. We expect this piece to far surpass those figures.
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Heath, Jennifer Noelle (2010) Epigenetic analysis of promiscuous gene expression in central tolerance. Ph.D. thesis, University of Birmingham.
Goss, Hannah Myren (2014) Histone modifications across the cell cycle in undifferentiated and differentiating mouse embryonic stem cells. Ph.D. thesis, University of Birmingham.
Drinkall, Nicholas (2012) Hox gene expression in mouse embryonic stem cells and Neurogenic differentiation of Mesenchymal stem cells. M.Res. thesis, University of Birmingham.
Munir, Hafsa (2012) Project 1: The biophysical effects of low intensity ultrasound on the morphology, growth and differentiation potential of bone marrow-derived Mesenchymal stem cells and Project 2: The dynamic changes in histone modifications on the Hoxb genes that accompany embryonic stem cell differentiation. M.Res. thesis, University of Birmingham.


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I really don't know what to make of Cleveland Indians manager Terry Francona. On one hand he's shown that he's a pretty good manager after winning two World Series while in charge of the Boston Red Sox, and on the other hand, he gets busted for sexting a woman almost half his age last year. Now, according to ESPN, Francona somehow, got lost on his way to the ballpark on Monday, although, he only lives two blocks away. "I got lost three times," he said. "Even when I got to the garage two people who work here said, `Hey, do you know where you're going?' I was like, `Nope." Luckily for the former Boston Red Sox manager, an employee for the Indians picked him up in a golf cart and got him to the park. Francona also said that the people he ran into during his commute were really kind to him and that he prefers to stay as close as possible to his workplace. "Cleveland is officially the nicest people I've ever met," he said. "Everybody I did walk by said, `Hello.' That's a little different than I'm used to." "I like being close to the ballpark, always have," he said. "If I had my druthers on the road, I would rather stay in a motel next to the ballpark than have to drive a half-hour." I know he's new to the city but it's two blocks.
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One incumbent and three new faces are running for Rush City School Board in the November election. Matt Perreault, Teri Umbreit, Scott Anderson, incumbent Brian Anderson and three write-in spaces will be found on the ballot; voters will be prompted to select up to three for terms of four years each....Read More
Mikayla Hensch and Alex Parks were crowned 2012 Homecoming Queen and King during a splendid assembly of the student body on Tuesday afternoon, Oct. 2 at North Branch Area High School. Pictured, the school's 2012 Homecoming Royal Court includes, from left, front row: Queen Mikayla Hensch and King A...Read More
Due to redistricting, all five Chisago County Commissioner districts are up for re-election this coming fall. When the filing period ended Tuesday, June 5, the following had filed as candidates: District I: Lora Walker (I), Lyle Johnson, Darrel Trulson District II: Rick Greene (I) District II: Georg...Read More


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Most breast lumps are not cancer. But the chance of having a
cancerous breast lump is higher after menopause than before menopause.
Some lumpiness of
breast tissue is normal. The fibrous tissue in the breast often feels lumpy or
bumpy, especially before your menstrual period. This lumpiness (fibrocystic
change) is so common in women that doctors now think it is a normal change.
These changes usually go away after
menopause, but they also may be found in women who are
hormone therapy following menopause.
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Windows 98 SE with some problems
Posted 20 March 2012 - 09:53 AM
Help me as I love windows 9x
Posted 20 March 2012 - 12:34 PM
I have installed Windows 98 in my Pentium 4 without any problems. I installed all the drivers and it was just ok. I installed SP3 that we got here on the forum and WUPG98. However, after onde day, the computer is slow. The pointer moves very slowly and I am not sure if the problem is from one of those updates. Also, when I put remove USB drive safely, it takes a long time and nothing shows up!
Help me as I love windows 9x
First try the ProcessExplorer. It shows the CPU usage of each process (application). You can download it on filehippo. Without KernelEX you can run it up to version 11.11. A high CPU usage (95 - 100%) of a process could be the reason.
Edited by schwups, 20 March 2012 - 12:47 PM.
Posted 20 March 2012 - 01:06 PM
Someday the tyrants will be unthroned... Jason "Jay" Chasteen; RIP, bro!
Posted 20 March 2012 - 01:16 PM
Its not a good idea installing multiple update packages such as U98SESP3, Autopatcher, WUPG98 etc....
I installed SP3 that we got here on the forum and WUPG98.
Believe God is the Alpha and Omega.
Believe Jesus Christ died for our sins.
Repent for your sins now or there will be BLOOD
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realmagick.com The shrine of knowledge.
Production Car Racing
A selection of articles related to production car racing.
Original articles from our library related to the Production Car Racing. See Table of Contents for further available material (downloadable resources) on Production Car Racing.
- Car or House Protection
- This is what I do when I leave my car parked somewhere for any period of time. Visualise your car in the spot it's parked. Then in your mind draw a ring of light around it. Then imagine a pentagram of white light over your car and say something like, Circle...
Paganism & Wicca >> Spells
- Survivalists' Guide for the New Millennium: Chapter 3
- WAKE UP, GET DRESSED & MOVE OUT The search for Truth and meaning that occasionally marked the philosophies of the ancient world, appears to be in a state of serious decline in the present day. In our institutions of psychology and philosophy, there is...
Philosophy >> Survivalists Guide for the New Millennium
- Everyday Fire
- It is around us every day. We see it, touch it; we are sometimes burned by it. It is the warmth of a comfortable place to sit, and the roaring blaze that devastates an entire village. It burns within every beat of our heart. Fire. Fire is Change Fire is...
The Elements >> Fire
- Resurrection of the Higher Self
- In July of 1989, a controversial article crossed the managing editor's desk of an equally controversial magazine. This article was never actually published in the quarterly publication, then known as The Magical Blend , even though it was well documented by...
Body Mysteries >> Psychoactive Substances
- Creative Visualization and Wicca
- Imagine What You Can Do! The tools of the Craft. Chalice, athame, wand, candle, pentacle, incense, crystals, creative visualization. Wait. Creative visualization? I know what you're thinking. "That doesn't belong there!" Unfortunately, many make the same...
Paganism & Wicca >> Ritual
- Wards 101
- Anyone who is around Pagan or metaphysical people for long will inevitably hear about warding. Circles and other sacred spaces are warded during worship to protect participants. So what are wards? Wards are magick raised and set into place to protect a space,...
Psychic Abilities >> Psychic Protection
Production Car Racing is described in multiple online sources, as addition to our editors' articles, see section below for printable documents, Production Car Racing books and related discussion.
Suggested Pdf Resources
- most powerful production car ever offered - Corvette Racing
- most powerful production car ever offered. The new Z06is the fastest,. The production 2006 Corvette Z06 and 2005 Corvette C6.
- www.corvetteracing.com
- Honda Cup Rules
- seeking to move upward to professional production car racing may do so with a minimum of transitional issues. B. Intent.
- www.calclub.com
- STANDING SUPPLEMENTARY - Bridgestone Production Cars
- www.productioncars.co.za
- Going National While Staying Southern: Stock Car Racing in
- smartech.gatech.edu
- has done the same for high-performance, production-based sports car racing, providing a battleground for the world's top automobile manufacturers.
- www.mazdaraceway.com
Suggested News Resources
- Jim Kenzie's 25 unforgettable cars
- The one I drove in Japan back in — oh, must have been some time in the early-1990s — was the so-called R32 model, essentially the road-going version of a car Nissan wanted to use in Japanese production car racing.
Suggested Web Resources
- Production car racing - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
- en.wikipedia.org
- Australian Production Car Championship - Wikipedia, the free
- en.wikipedia.org
- Auto racing - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
- en.wikipedia.org
- Production Car Racing 2008 - YouTube
- Sep 2, 2008 Footage of the 2008 Racing circuit in and around SA.
- www.youtube.com
- V-Series Racing | Sports Car & Production Car Racing | Cadillac
- Watch as Cadillac takes one of the world's most acclaimed production cars to the racetrack. Learn more about the CTS-V and Cadillac Racing team.
- www.cadillac.com
Great care has been taken to prepare the information on this page. Elements of the content come from factual and lexical knowledge databases, realmagick.com library and third-party sources. We appreciate your suggestions and comments on further improvements of the site.
Production Car Racing Topics
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We found 1 site within 15 miles of Sudbury with 0 bookable
Polstead Camping and Caravanning Club Site
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Need to know: CV cliches Why you can`t find a jobHF interviews
A lot can happen in ninety days.
That's the time Australia's Macquarie Group took to soar to the top of Dealogic's Australia Announced M&A league tables after finishing eighth on June 30.
Its heavyweight roles during the period include advising the Future Fund Board of Guardians on its 2 billion Australian dollar (US$2.1 billion) offer for Australian Infrastructure Fund, co-advising TPG on its refreshed offer for boardsports retailer Billabong International, advising Talison Lithium on its takeover by Rockwood Holdings Inc., and advising TelstraClear on its sale to Vodafone New Zealand.
Australian boutique advisory firm Record Point has hired former Goldman Sachs executive director Adam Sulcas.
Mr. Sulcas started at the Sydney-based group last week.
While at Goldman Sachs, Mr. Sulcas focused on M&A for financial sponsors, general industrials, utilities, infrastructure, telecommunications, media and technology. His clients included Seek ltd., Austar, KKR & Co. and Providence Equity.
Goldman Sachs Managing Director Curtis Smith has left the Wall Street bank after four years, two people familiar with the matter said Wednesday.
Sydney-based Mr. Smith was in charge of mergers and acquisitions involving listed Australian companies with a market value below 2 billion Australian dollars (US$2.1 billion). It isn't clear if Mr. Smith will be replaced.
Fortescue Metals may need lenders with deeper pockets than it first thought.
Fortescue requires iron ore prices to reverse course or it may have to raise as much as US$2.6 billion to fund its expansion plans in Western Australia, says Goldman Sachs.
That would be more than double the US$1 billion that Fortescue — Australia's third-largest iron ore miner after BHP Billiton and Rio Tinto — said last month it will seek to raise by the end of this year after a detailed review of major new projects forced the company to revise its infrastructure budget higher.
Macquarie Group may have had its wings trimmed since its pre-crisis glory, but its hawkish Chief Executive says the investment bank remains on the lookout for fresh prey.
Group head Nicholas Moore told journalists ahead of the bank's annual general meeting on Wednesday that he was still keen to use some of its 3.5 billion Australian dollars in excess capital for acqusitions–especially on the funds-management side.
Billabong International founder and major shareholder Gordon Merchant and fellow non-executive director Colette Paull have mandated boutique Greenhill Caliburn as independent financial advisers following an 841.8 million Australian dollar (US$865.6 million) offer from global buyout firm TPG, people familiar with the matter said.
Mr. Merchant owns 15.6% of the boardsports retailer while Ms. Paull owns less than 2%.
Carlyle Group and Seven Group Holdings have refinanced 1.85 billion Australian dollars (US$1.91 billion) of debt associated with equipment hire company Coates Hire, three people familiar with the situation told Deal Journal Australia.
Carlyle and Seven, which each own around 46% of Coates alongside management following the company's 2008 de-listing from the Australian Securities Exchange, have extended the facility for two years through July 2015, one of the persons said.
Goldman Sachs is going west.
The U.S. investment bank plans to open a permanent office in Western Australia's state capital Perth as it seeks a greater slice of acquisitions and financing deals tied to the resources boom.
In an internal memo to staff seen by Deal Journal Australia, Goldman Sachs said it expects the office to be operational on Aug. 1.
The office will be headed by Peter Watson who is joining Goldman Sachs as an executive director in its investment banking team covering natural resources. Mr. Watson is joining Goldman Sachs after nine years with Macquarie Capital.
Goldman Sachs has been chosen to advise Australia's New South Wales state government on its 3 billion Australian dollar (US$3.05 billion) sale of electricity generators while Citi has been selected to advise on the sale or lease of the Cobbora coal mine.
"The sale of the State's electricity generators will release billions of dollars for investment in critical infrastructure projects across NSW, while also saving the State billions of dollars in avoided costs to meet future generation capacity needs," NSW Treasurer Mike Baird said in a statement. He added that it will save the state A$850 million in ongoing operation and maintenance costs.
Canada-based RBC Capital Markets has finished top of the Australia Announced M&A League Table for the first half of 2012 owing to the 1 billion Australian dollar (US$1 billion) merger between gold miners St Barbara and Allied Gold Mining, announced on the last business day of the period.
"It's an outstanding result for RBC considering the challenging environment," RBC Capital Markets Managing Director Dominic Hudson told Deal Journal Australia.
"Our results show the commitment of our bank in Australia," he added, noting the team had made key hires in the past seven months including Managing Directors Matt Cordingley and Rob Thomson who cover infrastructure and equity capital markets, respectively.
Deal Journal Australia is an up-to-the-minute take on the deals and deal makers that shape the Australian landscape, including mergers and acquisitions, capital raisings, private equity and debt markets. In short, wherever money changes hands. Deal Journal Australia is updated throughout each trading day with exclusive commentary, analysis, data, news flashes and profiles. The Wall Street Journal's Gillian Tan is the lead writer, with contributions from other Journal and Dow Jones reporters and editors. Send news items, comments and questions to firstname.lastname@example.com.
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Originally written on Baseball Musings | Last updated 12/12/11
J.P. Howell pitches in relief for the Tampa Bay Rays. Howell returned from shoulder surgery that forced him to miss all of the 2010 season. He got off to a rough start, and through July had enough poor outings that his ERA was extremely high. His main problem was control, as he walked 6.3 batters per nine innings his first three months back. August and September taken together tell a different story, as his walk rate dropped along with his ERA. He did not walk a batter during his last 11 appearances, giving the Rays hope he'll be back to normal in 2012.
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Nicoise Green Beans
5 Aug 2010
|Olive oil
|2 Tablespoon
|1 Medium, chopped
|Celery stick
|2 , chopped
|String beans
|1 Pound
|Canned chopped tomatoes
|16 Ounce (1 Can)
|Vegetable stock/Tomato juice
|4 Tablespoon
|Bay leaf
|Fresh parsley
|1⁄2 Cup (8 tbs), chopped
|Freshly ground black pepper
|To Taste
|To Taste
Heat the oil in a large frying pan and gently saute the onions and celery until lightly browned.
Boil or steam the beans until tender (about 10 minutes).
Drain and set aside.
Add the tomatoes, stock, bay leaf and parsley to the saute.
Stir well and simmer this sauce for 20 minutes, uncovered.
Season to taste.
Add the cooked beans to the sauce and stir well.
Bring back to a simmer and cook for a further 2 minutes.
Rate It
0 Comments
Nicoise Green Beans Recipe


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Nothing Compares 2 U – Sinead O'Connor
Originally written by Prince, Sinead O'Connor truly made this forlorn song of heartbreak her own with a slight Irish burr and defiant, yet vulnerable, tone. A few years on from the shoulder pads and guitar riffs of the power ballads, O'Connor's synthy track must be taken in video format: shaven headed, singing into the camera, a single tear runs down her cheek. AVPicture: Rex


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Jim Carrey's gurning ways don't quite hold the same box office potential that they once did. The once elastomug has had to put the teeth aside in recent years.
Make no mistake, I Love You Phillip Morris is not a return of the Funster. Carrey plays Steven Russell, a policeman, Christian and a doting husband to a more than perfect wife. It's an idyllic lifestyle, one that has a couple of minor snags.
Mainly that Steven is a raving homosexual. It's something that he doesn't fully embrace until a car crash, giving him a new lease of life. His epiphany: breaking the law to support a super-luxurious lifestyle. You go girl!
While Steven has been building up an unhealthy portfolio of cons, it all catches up with him, leading to his unfortunate incarceration. In prison he meets Phillip Morris (Ewan McGregor), a gentle soul and the two fall in love through prison bars, beatings and bunk sharing.
It's an offbeat comedy, not full of laugh-out-loud escapades, the gayness itself isn't so much of a tool of ridicule, just an unconventional aspect of a messed-up love story. McGregor and Carrey actually have a surprising amount of chemistry, making for a tangible touchstone in an otherwise outlandish, unbelievable true story.
It's a story that would probably amuse more in the trivia section of a lads rag but the directional duo of Glenn Ficarra and John Requa have downplayed most of the laughs in the film. It doesn't quite fit in with Carrey's style but gives it an edge, a darkness that imbued the debut director's previous screenplay for Bad Santa.
It's not that the story doesn't have potential; most of the scenarios could be adapted into features of their own. It's all ripe for comedy but it only amuses, making most of the impact by the notion of this being some bizarre non-fiction.
Underplaying to the extreme, it often feels unsure of what it wants to be. Is it an unconventional love story; an outlandish comedy-con caper; or another crowd-pleasing Carrey comedy vehicle? Russell's time in prison is the only area where the balance manages to maintain, especially in one sequence of slow-dancing, flippant expletives and prison beating.
There's much to like, though, quick, breezy, never resting on one con or situation for too long and by the end of the film you're left spurring the central coupling on to happiness. Perhaps in a heavier hand this could have been a zany outlet for Carrey's old charms or another director could have steered this into more subtle territory. As it is, a slightly uneven, unconventional tale that has enough twists to make this engaging.
'Spray Rating: 3.5/5
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter


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In a packed Minnesota State High School League board room in Brooklyn Center on Thursday, the league Board of Directors passed a policy to guide member schools regarding male-to-female transgender students. "What the board did was just respond to questions that had come from member schools about e...Read More
delano high school
BY DAVID PEDERSEN Delano's Damon Longstreet is one of 41 of the state's outstanding senior boys basketball players that will compete in the 32nd annual Minnesota High School All-Star Basketball Series played March 28-29. Doubleheaders will be played Friday, March 28 at St. Cloud State University...Read More
BY DAVID PEDERSEN Delano scored only one fewer point than the girls basketball team netted in the win over Orono a week before a rematch in the Class 3, Section 5 playoffs Saturday. However, the No. 2 seed Spartans scored 24 more points on way to a 67-57 victory. It was rare for Delano to [...]...Read More
BY DAVID PEDERSEN Two seasons ago the first state wrestling titles were captured by Rockford and Delano got into the act last season with the school's first state crown. Despite armed with two former state title winners, the four local representatives with state meet experience came home from the ...Read More
Tigers clash with Orono for trip to state tourney BY DAVID PEDERSEN Maybe Delano guard Sean Campbell was immune to adversity, but the junior's positive attitude never wavered when the team's two taller players fouled out with the score tied late in the section semifinal game against top seed Big...Read More
BY DAVID PEDERSEN It will not guarantee victories in the section girls basketball playoffs, yet Delano's dominance of two Wright County Conference leaders is a sure bet the Tigers are in the hunt. Delano (18-7) earned the No. 3 seed in the Class 3A, Section 5 tournament that started Tuesday after ...Read More
Breck defeated Delano-Rockford 5-2 in the Section 2A boys hockey tournament last week before getting upset by Orono in the title game. Delano-Rockford fell behind 3-0 after the first period and 5-0 after two before Grant Prinsen and Jack Nelson netted third period goals. Junior goalie Brett Norling ...Read More
BY DAVID PEDERSEN The focus of the Rockford and Delano boys and girls basketball teams this week was the section tournament and with the do die mentality. The girls teams have a couple more games to fine tune play before playoffs begin next week. The boys were in the mix this week when section actio...Read More


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We offer the following activities as part of our aquatics program. Some activities are strenuous or risky. Therefore, you might require medical clearance and/or parental permission.
Adults 13-61: $7.00
Children 5-12: $6.00
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Children 4 & under: FREE (with paid adult)
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Monday: 6:00am-9:30am. & 11:00am.-3:00pm
Tuesday: 6:00am-2:00pm
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Thursday: 6:00am-2:00pm
Friday: 6:00am-9:30am & 11:00am-6:00pm
Saturday: 12:00pm-4:00pm
Sunday: CLOSED
*Beginning Tuesday, May 26, 2015:
Monday: 6:00am-2:00pm (Long Course) 2:30pm-7:00pm (Short Corse)
Tuesday: 6:00am-7:00pm (Long Course all day)
Wednesday: 6:00am-7:00pm (long Course all day)
Thursday: 6:00am-2:00pm (Long Course) 2:30pm-7:00pm (Short Course)
Friday: 6:00am-2:00pm (Long Course) 2:30pm-6:00pm (Short Course)
Saturday: 12:00pm-4:00pm (Short Course all day)
Sunday: CLOSED
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Aquatics facilities and both pools will be CLOSED.
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July 10th - July 12th (Friday-Sunday)
Both pools will be CLOSED - Locker rooms/sauna/steam rooms will be open Friday only.
Due to school closures we will have one long course lane open for public swim during the following NAC practice times.
December 22nd-24th 7:00am - 9:30am (Long Course)
December 29th- January 3rd 7:00am - 9:30am (Long Course)
For more information on NAC Master please visit www.SwimNAC.com.
© 2015 Metropolitan Government of Nashville and Davidson County, Tennessee


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- Filed Under
Purdue senior forward Robbie Hummel will miss the 2010-11 season after suffering a torn anterior cruciate ligament in practice today, the school's athletic department said.
It's the same knee he injured Feb. 24 against Minnesota, knocking 6-foot-8 forward from Valparaiso out for the remainder of last season.
He had surgery in March and was first able to go back to the court in August. ...


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"Facere tempus ut veho"
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Gnarly Adventurer
Joined: Sep 2009
Location: Western PA
Oddometer: 223
We had traveled maybe 25 miles from home when the leaden clouds decided to begin to lighten their load. It started out light but got progressively heavier. Pulling a slight grade my bike started to sput-sput-sputter and my first thought was "when did I last get fuel?". I flipped to reserve and the sputtering became less frequent, then went away. I made a slight re-route to head for a gas station and we all pulled in and topped up. I thought it strange that I only needed about 1 gallon.
I went inside to avail myself of the facilities and when I returned outside I see my companions talking with a very wet, younger fellow who was holding a small plastic gas can. He said he'd been in some pretty heavy rain since Pittsburgh, and then started telling us about his troubles. He was riding an older Honda VLX from California to Baltimore to start a new job and had run out of cash and out of gas and was hoping for a handout. I went ahead and bought him a fill-up and told him "good luck, that should get you to Baltimore" Hopefully he wasn't just pullin' a fast one!
We continued south into Maryland, hit some detour before West Virginia and became a little crossed-up. After getting back on track it was starting to get dark, and we finally made Petersburg about 10pm. We got gas again and headed south on highway 28, towards Seneca Rocks. A few miles outside of town I spot a small brown campground sign and make the turn to follow it. Up up up we go, twisting and turning on a tight unmarked macadam road. I figured we were on the top of the mountain when the road finally flattened out, then when it started to pitch back downward I stopped and we had a little powwow. Seems as though none of us had seen the campground, so we decided to abort and head back towards Petersburg and one of the hotels we had passed.
At the first hotel we found an open office door, behind which was a counter that had a sign reading "try the bell, if nobody comes dial this number" on the house phone. So I try the bell..... and try again..... then the phone.... and the phone again..... then we gave up. There was another hotel up the road a bit, but they're closed. No bell or phone even. We decide to backtrack into Petersburg and ask at a convenience store for someplace to stay. A helpful employee directs us to The Hermitage in town. She says "the office will be closed, but they have a number you call to get in", I'm thinking this line sounds familiar but we're kind of short on options, so off we go to The Hermitage. We pull in the parking lot and by the time I pull off my helmet and walk to the door the manager was opening it up. She said she heard us pull up
. 12am we finally get a room!
Day 1, Home to Petersburg WV
6 1/2 hours 159 miles
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Golf: Nakashian, Anderson earn Arrigo Fiat Classic title
WEST PALM BEACH – R.J. Nakashian of Palm Beach Gardens earned his 12th Palm Beach County Golf Association title Sunday as he teamed with Stephen Anderson of Hobe Sound to win the 22nd annual Arrigo Fiat Classic at Mayacoo Lakes Country Club.
Nakashian made five birdies, Anderson two, as they combined for a four-ball stroke play score of 7-under-par 64 for 129. They had trailed by a shot after an opening round of 65 on seven birdies and their only bogey of the weekend.
In the senior division where both players are at least 50 years old, the Broward County team of Steve Sponder and Marc Rosenbaum birdied their last three holes for 63, the low score of the weekend, for 131 to win by a shot.
Playing with Anderson in a county tournament for the first time, it was Nakashian's second victory in the late-season four-ball. He won with Artie Scott in 2006. Nakashian and Anderson won Florida State Mid-Senior Four-Ball last year and lost in a playoff this year.
"All of our birdies were on short putts but R.J. made a couple of par putts that were better than any of the birdies," said Anderson, who now has seven PBCGA wins. "I was a little shaky today but R.J. was just solid." Nakashian is the personal caddy for Donald Trump at Trump International and Anderson works for Golden Bear Realty.
In the senior division, Sponder, owner of Global Golf Sales, birdied the seventh and eighth holes and Rosenbaum, his accountant and main man in the office, birdied the ninth. It was Sponder's first PBCGA victory, the third for Rosenbaum, who won consecutive Senior Amateur titles in 2007-08. They had only one bogey in 36 holes, at the par-4 15th hole. Sponder sank a chip shot for a birdie there Sunday.
Next on the PGCGA schedule: Saturday-Sunday (Oct. 1-2), Senior Amateur, Jonathan's Landing GC
Palm Beach County Golf Association
Arrigo Fiat Classic
Mayacoo Lakes CC, West Palm Beach
Regular Division, 49-younger, 6,700 yards, par 71
129 – Steve Anderson, Hobe Sound, and R.J. Nakashian, Palm Beach Gardens, 65-64. $350 (team).
133 – Chris Hubman, Palm Beach Gardens, and Mike Weeks, Palm City, 68-65. Andy Johncke, Palm Beach Gardens, and Eddie Kenny, Lake Worth, 64-69. $200.
134 – Danny Germaine, North Palm Beach, and John Powers, Boca Raton, 66-68. $100.
135 – Jason Meyers and Jeff Turton, Jupiter, 67-68. $80.
Senior Division, 50-older, 6,350 yards, par 71
131 – Marc Rosenbaum, Hollywood, and Steve Sponder, Cooper City, 68-63. $310.
132 – Bill O'Keefe, Lake Worth, and Mark Rubin, Boca Raton, 66-66. Rick Anderson and John Lipari, Palm Beach Gardens, 64-68. $170.
135 – Jim Bounds, Boynton Beach, and Tim Conboy, Lantana, 66-69. $80.
Money listed awarded in pro shot merchandise certificates.
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California Water Service Group's six subsidiaries provide regulated and non-regulated water and wastewater utility services to two million people in four western states. Throughout the company, our employees are dedicated to providing value to our stockholders and excellent service to our customers.
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Club Officer Training, Austin, July 14, 2015
- Business & Professional
- 3900 N Capital of Texas Hwy, Austin, TX, 78759
Chief Judge webinar training 7/24/14
District 55 Toastmasters
Thursday, July 24, 2014 at 7:00 PM (CDT)
Chief Judge Training Webinar
Thursday July 24th 2014
7pm to 8pm
The District 55 Contest Training Page has the latest information and details about this event. There is no charge to attend this event.
Please plan to "arrive" or check in online 10 minutes before the webinar begins, so that everyone is online & either dialed in or on VOIP when the session starts.
Begin your registration by clicking the "Register" button above. When finished, you will receive a confirmation email.
Contact District Contest Chair Lisa Park or District Chief Judge Susan McClure for more information.
Toastmasters International, the Toastmasters International logo and all other Toastmasters International trademarks and copyrights are the sole property of Toastmasters International and may be used only by permission. The information on this Web site is for the sole use of Toastmasters' members, for Toastmasters business only. It is not to be used for solicitation and distribution of non-Toastmasters materials or information.
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July 6, 2015
Earlier this week, two local state representatives went to McAllen to get a look at operations at the border with Mexico.
John Raney represents most of Bryan/College Station, and Kyle Kacal represents rural portions of Brazos County, all of Robertson County, other three others to the north.
The two Republicans were part of just the latest group of elected leaders to get a behind-the-scenes look at what's happening at the border, where tens of thousands of children from Central America have crossed, where drug and human trafficking concerns remain, and where a thousand National Guard troops are heading soon to bolster efforts.
"The key is having an aggressive posture, and the people of South Texas and the whole state need to know that we're trying to secure that border," Kacal said. "With the added troops from DPS and the Texas Rangers, it is truly amazing how they've decreased the traffic, reduced the criminal traffic, and the folks that live in the valley are somewhat relieved because they feel a sense of security in their homes again."
On "First News at Four" Thursday, the two discussed the care children coming across from Central America are getting, along with the price tag on American operations that are growing to address border crossers.
"It is going to be an expensive process," Raney said. "That's one of those things as an appropriator and on the Appropriations Committee that somewhat bothers me, because I'm afraid some might want to take that money from highways or some other programs -- education, higher education -- and I think it needs to be in addition to what we need to do in those elements."
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Biggio And Other Hall Of Famers Present David Letterman's Top 10 List
Craig Biggio joined Randy Johnson, Pedro Martinez and John Smoltz on the Late Show stage for David Letterman's Top 10 List on Wednesday night.
Foo Fighters & Zac Brown Cover Black Sabbath's 'War Pigs' on 'Letterman': Watch
The Foo Fighters kicked off their week-long residency at The Late Show with David Letterman by wearing their metal heart on their sleeves.
Spoiler Alert: Josh Charles Explains Exit From 'The Good Wife'
Sunday's episode of the show "The Good Wife" featured an unexpected twist that has fans of the series reacting deeply.


text: I've been reading some Wendell Berry this week in preparation for what I'm talking about on Sunday. I love his straight forward and often hilarious take on life–for instance: hell, or limits, or farming. I ran across this note int he introduction to his book, Sex, Economy, Freedom, and Community, which is a collection of [Read More...]


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Jennifer Lawrence
2014's Most Talked About Entertainment Stories
Celebrities and entertainers alike had a busy year in 2014. Here's a look back at the year's most talked about stories in entertainment.
In Entertainment: Mariah Carey Misses Notes & Ariana Grande Gets Smacked
This week, a diva struggles with one of her classics while a rising pop star gets smacked in the face.
Jennifer Lawrence's 'Hunger Games' Song Headed For The Top 40
It's not quite as funny as her duet with David Letterman was.
"Mockingjay" Opens With $123 Million
"Mockingjay, Part 1″ didn't catch fire like the previous installments of "The Hunger Games," but it still had the biggest opening of the year, according to studio estimates.
#Trending In Entertainment: Stephen Collins Confession and Jennifer Lawrence Speaks Up
This week, one of America's favorite TV dad's confesses, scandals can be sex crimes, and a reboot we're actually excited about.
Jennifer Lawrence On Celeb Hacking: 'It Is Not A Scandal. It Is A Sex Crime'
The people who chose to look at nude celebrity photos that hackers posted committed "a sexual offense," actress Jennifer Lawrence says in an exclusive interview with Vanity Fair in its November issues
#Trending In Entertainment: Joan Rivers Dies and Hollywood Gets Hacked
This week one of entertainment's comedic legends passed away, Hollywood got hacked, and apparently everyone is in court for something or the other.
FBI Inquiries Into Nude Celebrity Photo Leaks
The FBI said Monday it was addressing allegations that online accounts of several celebrities, including Oscar-winner Jennifer Lawrence, had been hacked, leading to the posting of their nude photographs online.
"Hunger Games" Tops MTV Movie Awards
"The Hunger Games: Catching Fire" earned the prize for best film at Sunday night's MTV Movie Awards, besting even top Oscar winner "12 Years a Slave."
Lawrence Beats Cyrus For Top Entertainer
The battle for AP entertainer of the year came down to the Girl on Fire and the Queen of Twerk.
"Argo" Wins Top Honor At SAG Awards
The CIA thriller "Argo" continues to steamroll through awards season, winning the top honor for overall cast performance at the Screen Actors Guild Awards.
"Argo" & "Les Miserables" Win At Golden Globes
"Argo" is in big with the Golden Globes, but not so much with the Oscars. "Lincoln" is sitting pretty with the Oscars, but was mostly left out in the cold at the Golden Globes.


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So, I need to create a struct in C# that will act as a key into a (quite large) dictionary, will look like this:
private readonly IDictionary<KeyStruct, string> m_Invitations;
Problem is, I REALLY need a struct to use as a key, because it is only possible to identify entries via two separate data items, where one of them can be a null (not only empty!) string.
What will I need to implement on the struct? How would you go about creating the hash? Would a hash collision (occassional) hurt the performance heavily or would that be negligible?
I'm asking because this is "inner loop" code.


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Labcolors Dye Solutions are super concentrated liquid dyes and are the easiest, most reliable colorant system you will ever use for coloring your soap! Click here to read the Labcolor quick start guide. Keep in mind that because labcolors are dyes they do bleed or migrate if using more than one color in a bar of soap.
High pH labcolors can be found under Labcolors for CP - These are specially formulated for Cold Process soap and any other High pH products.
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La Bomb colors can be found under Bath Bomb Dyes - These are specifically formulated for Bath Fizzies so that they do not set-off the fizzing reaction when making the fizzy.
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Aqua...click to read more
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Emerald NOTE: This color needs to be warmed up and well shaken before use to insure even color....click to read more
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Margaret of Sweet Soft Skin Handmade Soaps creates gorgeous soap that is full of color and personality. Her signature style are bars with plenty of layers, soap frosting, embeds and glitter. The result is showstopping! Read on to learn more about Margaret, including what inspires her color palettes and her number one soaping tip! -A.M. […]
The post Interview with Margaret of Sweet Soft Skin Handmade Soaps appeared first on Soap Queen.


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It's not normal that an actor's hair length sparks intensive speculation about their character's future, but Game of Thrones fans a
It's not normal that an actor's hair length sparks intensive speculation about their character's future, but Game of Thrones fans a
Former EastEnders star Scott Maslen will be lining up in the heats of Celebrity MasterChef this week.
Diana Douglas Webster, the mother of actor Michael Douglas and former wife of Spartacus star Kirk, has died at her retirement home in L
Tonight sees the return of Fake Or Fortune? in which news anchor Fiona Bruce investigates the mysteries behind well-known paintings.
Constance Zimmer had revealed she spent a lot of her time on new drama UnREAL
Adam Rodriguez, who stars in this week's big movie release Magic
Emily Watson has taken on some pretty tough roles in her career including a poverty-stricken matriarch in Angela's Ashes, tragic cel
Craig Charles, who plays Coronation Street cabbie Lloyd Mullaney, is due to leave the soap at th
Singer Ed Sheeran has revealed that he's landed an acting role in a new TV show in US – and it's not for the faint of heart.
Roswell star Shiri Appleby has revealed why she loved starring in new drama UnRE
Can you believe it's almost ten years since The West Wing aired it's last-ever episode?
Hurrah! It's that time of year that we have all been waiting for. The new series of BBC1's Great British Bake Off is almost upon us.
Idris Elba may seem an unflappable kind of guy, but he's revealed how his new series sent him into a spin.
Hayley Atwell, the star of Marvel's new series Agent Carter, reveals that when she heard super sleuth Peggy Carter w
It's no secret that Holly Willoughby has always struggled to fight back the tears while filmi
Arlene Philips definitely suffered for her love of cooking during Celebrity Masterchef.
Emily Watson stars in BBC1's emotional one-off drama A Song For Jenny (Sunday, 9pm) about awful true-life events from 10 years ago.
When a show ends it's traditional for the cast to help themselves to a little memento.
Not everyone can pull off being covered in gold paint, but Kelly Brook's done just that.


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Originally written on Fox Sports | Last updated 11/9/12
Fuquan Edwin scored 16 points and Eugene Teague added 14 in his Seton Hall debut to lead the Pirates to a 75-36 rout of Missouri-Kansas City Friday night in the season opener for both teams. Seton Hall got 13 points from Brian Oliver, a transfer from Georgia Tech. Teague, who transferred from Southern Illinois, scored six straight points during the second half, including a dunk and a free throw. Brandon Mobley had 10 points and nine rebounds for the Pirates, who outscored Missouri-Kansas City 41-14 in the second half. The Kangaroos of the Summit League returned four starters. It didn't matter. Seton Hall outscored Missouri-Kansas City 17-2 to open the second half. Estan Tyler led the Kangaroos with 10 points. The game, part of the Naismith Memorial Hall of Fame Tip-Off Tournament, was Seton Hall's first regular-season game on campus in Walsh Gym in almost 12 years.
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Texas Southern Tigers at Grambling State Tigers Basketball
Mon, Feb 11, 2013 7:30 pm
Assembly Center Arena, Grambling, LA
Sorry, this event has already taken place. Please see similar events below.
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This month's Customer Spotlight is on Kevin Morgan Studio. Lightning Labels conducted the following interview with Owner/Graphic Designer Kevin Morgan about his most recent label design for Jorma's Rhythmic Tonic Tea. Read on to find out how this herbal tea label, Jefferson Airplane, and one of the best guitar camps in the world are connected.
LIGHTNING LABELS: Thank you for letting us feature this one-of-a-kind label, which depicts a burly guitar player jamming out in a room with a wooden plank floor. Or maybe on a porch, it's hard to tell. A dog rests beneath his simple wooden chair. When I first saw this label, I thought the scene was straight out of a tiny country bar. But then I spotted a cup of tea steeping on a table in the background. What was the inspiration for this one-of-a-kind design?
Kevin Morgan Studio: Jorma Kaukonen was one of the founding members of Jefferson Airplane and is still touring with Hot Tuna. Jorma has a guitar camp in southeast ohio called the Fur Peace Ranch — you know… a "Fur Peace" from anywhere. Musicians and Instructors from around the globe come to the Ranch, and it is becoming quite known in the guitar camp circles as one of the best in the world. You can see what they are all about at www.furpeaceranch.com.
How does it illustrate the Jorma product, and how will the label be used?
Jorma's Tea blend is one of the products they sell at the Ranch as part of their merchandise line. They not only sell tour t-shirts and the like, but items that have a campy nature also, (e.g., campfire coffee and cookbooks.)
In closing, would you mind giving us a little background about your studio?
My Studio has a number of clients in the music industry we do work for. You can learn lots about what we do at www.kevinmorganstudio.com. We do everything from music posters and cds, to food labels and corporate graphics, plus most stuff in between. Thanks for your interest and the great work we always get from Lightning Labels!


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We're getting no love.
Discuss your favorite team: the Atlanta Falcons. As well as all NFL and pro football-related topics, including fantasy football.
Moderators: Capologist, dirtybirdnw, thescout
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- The_Incomparable
- All-Pro
- Posts: 869
- Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2005 8:51 pm
We're getting no love.
They were just talking about how good Hutchinson is doing against Coleman & then showed him collar Coleman & said he did a great job....*sigh*
Props to Scar for my sig.
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