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515 - The Wild World of Batwoman
Chat Comments (98) Best Riffs (179)
Several have asked how a film such as this could come to be. My personal opinion is that the writer/directors probably went to the bar at a Mid-West dentists' convention and said, "Hey! You guys have money. If you'll pitch in a dollar ninety-eight you can visit the set of the film we're making & introduce yourself as one of the producers to the bevy of desperate, bikini-clad, reasonably attractive, young actresses we'll have on hand! What say ye?" And lo, it came to pass....
It would take an whole case of Charmin to clean up the guano spewed out by this film.
I was so excited to see the short was titled "Cheating", until I realised it was just about school.
This movie was garbage. The middle when bat woman saves the kidnapped girl (wasn't there a murder before..?) is hilarious with or without riffs.
I don't believe in homework. The school has no right to dictate what my kid does on my time.
That was my favorite of any short I've ever seen them do!
I love how Mike references Teenage Strangler at 30:31 since that hadn't aired yet. The ultimate of their inside jokes.
I am willing to bet that no small amount of blotter paper went into the making of this piece of crap.
I like how they brought up their vampirism at the beginning and then quickly forgot about it for the rest of the film. I sincerely believe the only reason they shoehorned it in there is to indirectly explain why she's called BATwoman.
I'm fairly certain this movie has been declared a war crime in 37 countries.
Batwoman looks just like a drag queen I know. Every time I see her I wonder...
It's amazing what a simple blow to the head can do. I might even be able to forget this movie if I hit hard enough.
Does anyone else get the feeling that Batwoman and her weird little posse have kind of a "Manson Family" thing going on?
I love the seance scene ! I couldn't stop laughing at the fake Chinese interruptions!
I think we should establish a new awards ceremony for such movies. We can call them .. the Crummies™. I nominate this film for a Crummie™, and I nominate the director for the electric chair, and the script writer for experimental piles surgery. This movie makes Colman Francis's movies look like stories from a genius visionary
anyone else catch the Hugh Beaumont drop by Crow??
The bizarre racism in this movie gives it that unique je ne sais quoi, you know?
Wow. This movie makes Cave dwellers look like a timeless masterpiece. It would take a BUTTLOAD of shrooms to make this movie enjoyable without Mike and the 'Bots.
anyone else catch the rare came from John "the Yawn" Agar, Ward Cleaver, and "The LOAD"...???
this movie is really just ONE BIG.....
Jerry Warren is dead. So, the world has that going for it.
Corporate espionage is rampant in the high stakes world of hearing aid production...
made it through till 10 minutes left than PS3 froze up...it took a reboot to get it back...that is 1 bad movie
It's sad that a lot of these movies are so bad that MST3K can't even help me get through them.
i love mst3k, but i just cant make it through this one, its so terrible(the movie,not the jokes).......sorry mike,crow and tom, just dont have the strength to do it.......on to the next episode.
I have a question about Batwoman: Is that her hair or a hat? Either way it must take a lot of maintenance and it doesn't really strike me as bat-like (batty, sure, but not bat-like).
This movie made me feel, by far, the most "uncomfortable" of any other MST selections. I may need therapy...
I don't know why but the bots interactions seem more interesting with Mike then there interactions were with Joel.
Weird to seee VaaaAAANCE doing a drunk dial
The actress playing Mary in the short is quite obviously reading her lines off of her notebook. She's cheating also!
What a lame Batwoman! She's just a dominatrix with some bored apprentices.
What a lame Batwoman! She's just a dominatrix with some bored apprentices.
Hahahaha I want Dr. F's mushroom cloud hair!
Laugh #90, that's me!
My favorite short, right here.
In the short, John's part in his hair looks like it was made with an industrial router.
Did catch Mike sing "Hootenanny" by The Replacements, who were from Minneapolis.
This might just be the worst movie on MST3K/worst movie ever made. The nonsense plot, the campy villains, the drug that makes people dance, non-action action sequences, ridiculous masked villain, bimbo girls, random plot points like mole people, crazy henchman, fake mustaches - the SoL crew couldn't even do segments on it; had to stick with cheating.
For some reason one of the most memorable lines from MST is from Crow saying "When you cheat you make an 'eat' out of 'c' and 'h'. I just love that!
Uh... The Beatles!
When the to scientist kisses his companion guy, the reaction of the fellas breaks me up everytime.
Damn, this one's... really rough.
Jim, the ribcage-challenged dude from "Cheating," is like a low-rent Iago, encouraging Johnny's evil tendencies while posing as his best friend. (See 00:11:50, where he uses the siren call of hamburger sammiches to lure Johnny away from intellectual pursuits.) Also at 00:14:56, we get a reference to the same guy turning up later on in S6's "Why Study Industrial Arts?" Does it count as a callback if we haven't seen the show being referenced yet? [is confused]
It's always sad when a movie tries to be "campy" and utterly fails. Sorry, not sad--I mean excruciating.
At 1:03, the beach dance. Count how many people flipping off to the camera.
Katherine Victor (Batwoman) was Jerry Warren's go-to gal throughout his directorial career. She appeared in more than half of the movies he directed, including his final one, 1981's Frankenstein Island. Later, she became a continuity coordinator for Disney animation. She died in 2004.
Wow! That Steve Brody's one compelling actor....and he hasn't aged a day in 'The Giant Spider Invasion', either.
*lmao* @ 1:18:10 they riff, "Maybe they will all turn into butter!" I love it, classic reference to a small book banned by the PC Nazi Police, "Little Black Sambo." Good for you, guys!
I show "Cheating" to my classes, so they'll know the dire consequences of not being honest.
Holy freakin' shit batman .. this movie is WORSE the Manos: The hands of fate. I mean .. at least that film had a beginnin, middle and ending. Batwoman .. wow, was she supposed to be sexy?? If I wasn't already gay I'm pretty sure she'd have made me! Where the hell is the plot!!! Seriously 1950's-60's low budget movies .. you suck!!! I definitely second shooting the director!
They probably should have done The Mole People before this movie if they were going to scatter references to The Mole People throughout this episode. Just a wild idea.
You can instantly tell the Ayjax guy with the glasses is Ratfink the second he first speaks.
What the hell is the villain's ultimate plan or goal in this?
"Buuuurn him!!!" ~ Tom Servo
Made the movie worth it just for that. Beautiful.
Did anyone notice how phallic Forrester's hair was? You know like a producer. writer or prop person
You can tell the guy with glasses at Ayjax is Rat Fink just by hearing the very first line he says in the entire movie during the "You're sitting on my lunch," Also, that running gag about sitting on his lunch is possibly the least funny riff in the entire run of the show.
Crow's hysterical, pained laughter at 1:22:17 sums up my reaction to this disaster of a film.
What would Mitchell do?
For those calling this the worst, this is not even director Jerry Warren's worst. Check out Teenage Zombies or Frankenstein Island (a 1981 movie, still using stock footage and clips of other movies.)
A film like this makes me long for the comparative sanity and plot cohesion of TISCWSLABMUZ. It also makes me wonder how they ever missed riffing Rat Pfink a Boo Boo. An oversight perhaps. So many bad movies crying out to be riffed... so very many...
In the opening poker skit, you can see the top Kevin's head poking up in the lower right-hand corner almost the entire time! Made me chuckle.
In other news, this movie is GOD AWFUL.
I like when Servo says END!! END!!! END!! at the end of movie.I shout that all the time when i watch a bad movie.
There are no words. Underrated episode and nice short though.
Am I the only one who thinks this movie makes Manos look good?
The worst of the worst !
When you cheat you make an eat out of C and H.
I am afraid you have all missed the point of this film. It is obviously a subtle but meaningful commentary on after hours security procedures of late 60's Communist Bloc Eastern Europe.
You know a movies bad when it steals from other bad movies lol ....mole people
Its unbelievable how awful this movie is, what were they thinking? How does a movie like this happen?
How do you rate the odds of Batwoman and her army of highly disciplined bimbos vs. Dr. X, his 3.5 morons, and his ability to summon up footage from other movies to no discernable purpose?
I give it 3-1 Batwoman.
1:21:25 Was Servo doing the theme to The Film Crew?
Don't they know all ghosts like to speak in racist gibberish?
So Dr. Neon invented... acid?
Servo thought it should be strange that Crow would want him to wash underpants even though Crow doesn't wear them, but Servo is the one with an Underpant collection?
I don't think the guys used the words "Kill me" more than they did in this movie.
You know, there are certain flaws in this film...
only one thing to say about this movie. what the..."H"
This movie is so bad its great! The riffing is at an all time high! I love this episode!
Wow, Servo's really shouty in this one. Murphy probably had the worst sore throat by the end of that week.
From what these comments are saying, maybe I SHOULD have asked which episodes I should be wary of as far as content goes...
Is... Is this the 50's version of porn?
Hey Batwoman, Roger Corman just called. He said your movie objectifies women and has WAY too many gaping plot holes you couldn't fill because of budget. Also, Catalina Caper and Pod People are on line 2. Something about padding with useless, unfunny, goofball scenes...
I figured it out. This isn't a bad movie. It isn't even a montage of bad movies. It's a montage of out-takes from many bad movies!
The seance scene is so bizarrely offensive that I can't help but laugh every single time I see it. What were they thinking??
It took me so many viewings to realize that they were supposed to be vampires. or something. I still don't know.
"I don't think anyone who cheats should hold an office."
Me: *immediately thinks of Bill Clinton*
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
Yoko, No!
Come on guys! This movie is so good!
I would rather watch a Joe Don Baker movie!!!!!!
This movie makes Adam West and the Batman series look like cinematic
Okay, here's the thing. I've been watching the entire series in order. Every other horrible movie has been somehow watchable. But this movie was so terrible it actually pissed me off. This director should be shot.
It's not just you RevJJVQ, he totally does.
Looks like Matt Foley, Patent Officer.
What....What IS this thing? Is this even a movie?
Is it just me, or does the bumbling scientist look like Dr. Forrester's long lost father?
"Stone him! cheater! Cheater!"
possibly the most bizarre crappy movie i've ever watched
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
There's not enough bell towers in the world for Johnny.
By the way, have you seen my rib-cage?
"I'm losing my patience with you!"
"Yeah, I bet he's lost a lotta patients!"
"Oh, shut up."
"Their five-year mission: to be hot, hot, hot. Wow."
Watson come here. I hate you
"It's really something, you ain't never seen nothing like it!"...Ain't never seen ANYTHING like it...
Fritz Lang's: Beaches
Boy their training is rigorous, it's like the Israeli army!
Now it's flowers for Algernon.
You've got your mole people in my batwoman! You've got your batwoman in my mole people!
You just don't care about my lunch do you? YOU DELIBERATELY SIT ON IT!
Now you might think that I put the iocane powder in this one...
What am I doing in a fake car on a soundstage?!
Hey Hitler, we want to order over here!
Riddle me this, Batman...
I have no clue what you are talking about, but I am profoundly devastated.
Ching Chon Chang Cha we know!!
Please god CUT AWAY TO ANYTHING
♪ ♫ Jingleheimer Schmidt ♪ ♫
Hi! We're back from Camp Snoopy!
He's reading Mr. Drysdale Monthly.
[Crow] We now join our confusing sequence, already in progress
Robert Guillome is Miss Benson.
for depressing phone sex, dial 1-900-alfalfa
I will bring you down Johnny...
I wish I was hanging from that rope...
David Bowie did the stage version.
The Taming of the Bat-Shrew!
You know, that Fink's got a great watch voice...
Vampirism-- it does a body good!
♫And I-hai-would-walk-five-hundred-miles...♫
- I see your point.
What's Dwight Eisenhower doing here?
After six months of lessons from Schmidt Music, I'm playing for my friends!
Meanwhile, in a completely different movie...
"I envision a cheating wing"
"I... am..." Iron... man...
"A Centron production, although we got the idea from different company because we're cheating"
We met at the kidnapping...
Robert's Rules of ... WOW!
"Oh! Just when I thought the movie couldn't get any worse, Ringo's in it!"
"Oh! Just when I thought the movie couldn't get any worse, Ringo's in it!"
"Oh! Just when I thought the movie couldn't get any worse, Ringo's in it!"
"Oh! Just when I thought the movie couldn't get any worse, Ringo's in it!"
"Kind of an odd Thanksgiving but the sentiment's there."
"One nation, under Hef."
"There's a peeping Zorro outside."
"Hey what am I doing in a fake car on a sound stage?"
"Mother Teresa called, she hates you."
"Hey it's Doctor Fassbender and TV's Fred!"
"Our time limit for destroying that device has run out." What device? Who are you?!
D'oh! The one day they stop wearing bikinis is the day I stop by!
I'm tubby guy and that's nerdy guy with the briefcase.
You've got your mole people in my Batwoman! You got your Batwoman in my mole people!
My breasts lead me here!
"Somebody's going to get killed!" Definitely acceptable losses.
The first year of bondage is the hardest.
Ya know, to me, that leash screams 'unhealthy relationship'.
Yes, Bat Girls come running for the good taste of hot soup!
good job on the report crow!
are we supposed to see anything in this short.
There's a subplot about a horseshoe.
That may not REALLY be Chinese.
"Well, that's five. He's got a volleyball team!"
"Oh, no... they're gonna' drug Gerry Mulligan!"
Cheating is bad. Richard Basehart is good.
Cheating is bad. Richard Basehart is good.
"Kind of an odd Thanksgiving, but the sentiment's there."
"Mr. Fink, turn your radio down, please."
"We're going to tabulate the number of cookies each of you sold."
"Wow! It's Casual Day at Control Data."
"Goodbye, Porkpie Hat."
"No thank you. I don't wanna' play The Crying Game."
"You worked her like a punch press, Johnny!"
"Now was this Ingmar Bergman's first American film?"
"This contract arrived for you, from a 'Mr. L. Zebub.' "
"...And his parents officially cut ties."
"We've just witnessed a murder" - And we did absolutely nothing about it.
As long as I'm down here, I'm gonna take his underpants.
Rule of thumb - it's not a good idea to look down the barrel of a gun... or to drop it.
Yoko no.
Mike, I demand that you kill me.
Well, the music's terrible, but at least it's drowning out the dialog!
Mom, do you ever have a problem feeling fresh? Mom? Mom!
Hey, it's that one Kid in the Hall!
Huh, Hamburger Hill...
♫Keep your eyes on the road and hands upon the wheel!!♫
What is this, some kind of a weird-ass hootenanny or something?
See, a lot of villains aren't bold enough to wear clam diggers.
"SIT DOWN!" Well, I don't normally do that at meetings...
"It's like we're smart, but we're not."
"Now this is how the NRA wants the world to look... ... ...and frankly..."
Well, you're outta paper- had to use Heathcliff...he didn't mind.
You just dont care about my lunch do you? You know its there, and you deliberately sit on it.
Folks, take our word for it. Something happened here.
And by the way, have you seen my ribcage?
"Meeting of the Student Council." - They're hangin' you in effigy.
"And now you may think the iocaine powder is in this one!"
"Little Johnny...30 years later"
Sorry, this is a smoke-free cult.
Mother Theresa called she hates you
Gypsy - "HE COPIED MY FRIGGIN' PAPER!"
Thursday afternoon. I pulled up at this one place. I didn't know what time it was. I kinda got out of my car. I looked at the place. I walked toward some sort of structure in which people possibly dwelled. I noticed the agriculture. The sound editor added a tasty sax lick. I passed a tree or shrub of some variety. Then, I arrived at the door. I went through the door, it was quite cool. I had heard Batwoman had quite a lingerie collection. I decided to investigate.
You never help me around the house! I hate you!
My mother had a pair of those.
Looks like they're coming down from the soup.
"Where?" Up my what?
"I've got it!" The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain!
I've got the music in me!
Stop looking at my butt, Debbie.
I'm from next door. Can I borrow a beaker?
A young Franz Kafka awaits his fate.
"Riddle me this, Batman! *maniacal laughter*"
"You've made some powerful enemies, son."
(as buzzers and sirens go off) "Put your pencil down, and step away from your desk!"
"The first time Johnny feels real power."
You awta have that looked at. I'll look at it.
One Nation under Heff.
YES! ... can we talk about Mitchell?
There's a peeping Zorro outside.
I hate that smell. His finger?
We've discovered Batwoman's secret power - she can open unlocked doors.
Security guards of foreign wars.
Look at this guy. Rigor mortis is setting in.
There's a man on the wing of the plane! No there isn't.
Now THIS is a hot lunch program!
"IT WAS A DARK AND STO- oh."
Toccata and WOW in D minor. Grrrrrrr.....
Where exactly in Europe am I from?
There's a Mexican wrestler lurking outside!
"Gooood morning, College Republicans..."
Angels, you're going undercover with Adam West.
"Never mind the monsters." Here's the Sex Pistols.
"I'm dedicated to finding your device." Excuse me?!
LSD-25 for you, and you had the LSD-25...
Hey, Hitler! We wanna order over here!
Just a minute!
"Hey, turn down the high-beams!"
"We're in the middle of a k.d. lang fantasy!"
I've got a pencil sharpener and a bowl of sugar and I will use them!
Was there a shadow of doubt in Miss Gramby face? "Or was it lust?"
"Split it open now!"
Jeeze this kid could freak out Jamie Gum
She's wearing a gownless evening strap.
Bad touch El Santo!
It's got chunks
They're like drift babies!
I'll divide myself into quarter acre lots! I'll build houses so close to myself that you won't be able to catch me! Mwahahahaha!
"I've just come up from the cave and Rat-Fink wants you to finish your work down there. Now Batwoman and her girls were all over the beach and he said for us to put "Operation: Plan Grab X12" right away..."
[Crow] Oh, STOP pretending there's a plot! Don't cheapen yourself further.
The sad thing is they're trying to tap dance! Haha..Kill me.
So Mike...this is Hell.
- Yep
There aren't enough bell towers in the world for Johnny...
(Dr. Neon and Heathcliff kiss) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
One nation, under Heff.
We are in the middle of a K.D. Lang fantasy!
Eating hamburgers while the world cried.
♪ Yes the devil made this movie for you ♪
I'll give you certain specifics at a certain time.
I have no idea what your talking about but I'm profoundly devastated!
You know, that may not really be Chinese.
it's fun when it's fun!
Mother Teresa called, she hates you.
It's like a Warhol movie, except it's kinda weird.
It's like we're smart but we're not.
What do you folks at home think?
I really have to go. I mean it; my teeth are floating.
For depressing phone sex, dial 1-900-ALFALFA.
Holy Cow, that's forty pounds of butt in thirty-pound butt capacity pants...
Give us Barabbas! Barabbas!!
Oh hi Miss Gramb-AAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GET IT AWAY!!!
A-coochie-coochie-coochie... Aaaah Aaah!!!!
Slow down, you'll dislocate something!
Stop laughing like that!
They just put a bunch of movies in a blender and pressed the mix button!


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