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A method of discriminating stillness of a step exposure apparatus is characterized by the steps of causing a mask and wafer to step relative to each other, repetitively detecting the relative displacement (degree of out-of-alignment) between the mask and wafer, processing to compute a value representing a variation in the displacement measurements, and comparing the computed value with a critical value relating to the attenuation of vibration resulting from the stepping motion to instruct the computation of the amount of relative movement to be effected between the mask and wafer if the measurement is smaller than the critical value or to instruct the re-computation of the value if it is larger than the critical value.
1. A method comprising the steps of:
providing relative movement between a mask and wafer in an alignment system;
repetitively detecting a displacement between said mask and wafer to provide a plurality of displacement data representing the displacement;
processing to compute a deviation value representing a variation in the detected data;
comparing said deviation value with a first critical value related to the degree of stillness in said system;
computing the amount of relative movement between said mask and wafer to cause alignment one with the other if said deviation value is smaller than said first critical value as determination in said preceding comparing step; and
repeating said processing step for re-computation of said deviation value if said measurement is larger than said first critical value as determined in said preceding comparing step.
2. A method as defined in claim 1 wherein said repeated processing step for re-computation of said deviation value is executed by using a plurality of newly provided displacement data representing the displacement between said mask and wafer.
3. A method as defined in claim 1 wherein said repeated processing step for re-computation of said deviation value is executed using at least one newly provided displacement datum representing the displacement between said mask and wafer added to the previously provided displacement data, with a number of previously provided displacement data equal in number to the newly added displacement data being removed.
4. A method as defined in claim 1 wherein said step of computing the amount of relative movement to cause alignment comprises the steps of detecting at least one new displacement datum representing the displacement between said mask and wafer; adding said newly detected displacement datum to the previously detected displacement data with all of these displacement data being used to compute a predetermined function of deviation;
and comparing the computed function of deviation with a second critical value.
5. An apparatus comprising:
a mask stage for moving a mask;
a wafer stage for moving a wafer;
step drive means for stepping one of said mask and wafer stages;
alignment drive means for moving one of said mask and wafer stages to align said mask and wafer with each other;
means for detecting a displacement between said mask and wafer;
means for computing an operational value for operating said alignment drive means on the basis of said displacement detected by said detecting means when said apparatus has achieved a sufficient degree of stillness; and
means for determining the degree of stillness of said apparatus for determining the detected displacement to be input to said computing means.
6. An apparatus as defined in claim 5, further including a projection optical system for projecting the image of said mask onto said wafer in a reduced scale and wherein said detecting means is adapted to sense said wafer through said projection optical system.
7. An apparatus as defined in claim 5 wherein said determining means includes means for computing a variance among a plurality of detected displacements by said detecting means; means for comparing the variance with a first critical value related to such stillness of the apparatus that error will not substantially occur in the computation of the operational value by said computing means; and means for determining a positional error used to compute the operational value if the variance is smaller than the first critical value.
8. An apparatus as defined in claim 5 wherein said determining means includes means for computing a function of deviation based on a plurality of detected displacements by said detecting means; means for comparing the computed function of deviation with a second critical value relating to an acceptable variation in displacements detected by said detecting means; and means for determining a displacement to be used for computing an operational value if the function of deviation is smaller than said second critical value.
1. Field of the Invention
The present invention relates to a method and device for discriminating stillness of a semiconductor exposure apparatus, particularly a step-and-repeat projection alignment and exposure apparatus (stepper) using a reduction optical system.
2. Description of the Prior Art
Particularly, the present invention prevents the computation of the degree of alignment from being adversely affected by the relative movement between a photo-mask and wafer which is produced by an oscillation due to the step-and-repeat motion in a stage. The present invention further prevents a variation in detected signals due to various factors such as the reflectivity of the wafer, the surface condition of a photo-register and other factors from providing an indefinite time required to attain the desired alignment or degrading the accuracy of the alignment.
In general, the semiconductor exposure apparatus (mask aligner) is used for exposing a wafer to the actual element pattern of a mask which functions as an original. Such a semiconductor exposure apparatus utilizes either of (1) an entire surface pattern exposure process characterized by a single shot, or (2) a repetitive (divided) exposure process characterized by a plurality of shots. The whole surface pattern exposure process is used in cases where a wafer is exposed in contact with a mask (contact method), where a wafer is exposed, without using any imaging system, with the wafer being spaced away from a mask by a very small distance (proximity method), where a wafer is maintained spaced away from a mask by a sufficient distance such that they will always be disposed in such a relationship that the pattern on the mask can be imaged on the wafer through a one-to-one imaging system including lenses or mirrors (one-to-one projection method), and so on. The whole surface pattern exposure process exposes the wafer to the actual element pattern on the mask at one time. If it is desired to form a very compactly integrated element, however, the whole surface pattern involves a difficulty in manufacturing a mask, since it has to have, at the unit scale, a very fine pattern to which a wafer is to be exposed.
In view of this problem, the repetitive exposure process has been proposed in which a wafer is exposed at its effective area to a pattern on a mask through a plurality of exposure shots by exposing the wafer to the pattern of the mask through a reduction projection lens system having its magnification smaller than one and moving the wafer and mask relative to each other such that the exposed regions on the wafer will not be overlapped one on another throughout the exposure procedure. In this repetitive exposure process utilizing the reduction projection lens system, the pattern on the mask can be enlarged by a factor of the inverse number of the magnification in the imaging system. Therefore, the above difficulty associated with the manufacture of the mask can be decreased.
The repetitive exposure process utilizes either of an OFF-AXIS alignment system or a TTL ON-AXIS alignment system.
In the off-axis alignment system, the alignment pattern on a wafer is first aligned with an alignment optical system fixed outside of a projection optical system. The wafer is then moved accurately to a location under the projection optical system so that the alignment pattern on the wafer will be aligned indirectly with the alignment pattern on a photo-mask. In the TTL on-axis system, the alignment patterns on a wafer and photo-mask are simultaneously observed through a projection optical system such that the alignment patterns can directly be aligned with each other.
The art of semiconductor elements is being greatly advanced toward a goal at which they are integrated compactly as far as possible and operated at a speed as high as possible. The mask aligner is therefore required to have high resolving power and high degree precision in alignment. But, it is an industrial machine so that high productivity is also desired.
FIGS. 1A, 1B and 1C illustrate three basic flowcharts of the prior art alignment and exposure systems (aligners). FIG. 1A shows the flowchart of an aligner utilized in the contact method, the proximity method, the one-to-one projection method or the like. In such a system, a wafer is processed by a single alignment and a single exposure. FIG. 1B shows the flowchart of a stepper used in the off-axis alignment system in which a wafer is processed through a single alignment and a plurality of exposure steps. A loop including an exposure step is repeatedly carried out several tens of times to a hundred and several tens of times per wafer. To reduce time required in the repetitive exposure loops a stage which can be operated with high accuracy at high speed is provided. Such a stepper has an increased resolving power due to the reduction projection in comparison with the aligner operated as shown in FIG. 1A. The stepper also has an increased accuracy of alignment since the wafer can be compensated in expansion and shrinkage by changing the amount of movement in the step stage. However, since the alignment patterns on the mask and wafer have to be independently positioned by different detection systems, the projected pattern of the mask pattern must be moved to be aligned with the wafer pattern while assuring ultimate correctness of the movement. This results in a larger number of factors of error. It is difficult to increase the alignment in accuracy, suppressing various errors.
A system which can eliminate the above factors of error while assuring the increased resolving power and alignment accuracy is a stepper utilized in the TTL on-axis alignment system (die-by-die alignment system) in which the alignment patterns on the mask and wafer can manually be aligned with each other through a lens system. FIG. 1C shows the flowchart of such a system in which a loop 53 includes steps of alignment, exposure and stage movement. As a result, the system requires an additional time which is equal to the operational time of alignment multiplied by the number of steps in comparison with the stepper in the off-axis alignment system. For the TTL on-axis system stepper, therefore, it is an essential proposition that time is reduced particularly in the alignment operation to assure the necessary throughput in a production machine.
For example, when fifty exposures per wafer are required and if a throughput of 50 wafers/hour is expected, the total time afforded to alignment operation plus exposure plus stage movement should be equal to about one or two seconds. Reduction of time by 0.1 seconds corresponds to the saving of five seconds per wafer. The throughput can be increased by three or four wafers per hour.
The requirement of the reduction of time in alignment is a common theme for all the prior art aligners although the degree of importance is different from one another. FIG. 2 shows a portion of the flowchart shown in FIG. 1B in connection with the alignment operation in greater detail. If this flowchart portion is considered in respect to time required in the alignment operation, there are two significant problems one of which is a delay time t in Step 62. A rest time after the stage has been moved (time through which an oscillation produced in the system can be deemed to be stopped) is variable depending on the amount of movement in the stage or the selection of a stage to be moved, for example. To obviate this, a constant delay time t is provided by adding some safety time to the longest time of the times produced in the above situations. This method, however, eliminates the possibility of speeding-up the process.
The other problem is the number of loops 67 through which detections and movements are repeatedly carried out. Necessarily, as the number of loops 67 is increased, loss of time is increased.
A certain fixed relation exists among four factors, an accuracy σA in AA (automatic alignment) detection, an accuracy σS in the movement of the stage, a acceptable-or-not discrimination (tolerance T) meaning an expected accuracy and the number of movements R (the number of re-adjustments of the stage until an alignment is attained). If three of these factors are determined, the remaining factor can substantially be determined. A single AA signal is insufficient to assure the necessary alignment accuracy in the system so that a plurality of the same is taken and the accuracy is improved by averaging all the received signal detection values. If detected signal values of N in number are averaged, the accuracy is improved substantially by a factor of √N. If σS is deemed to be an inherent value in the system and when the tolerance T and the number of movements R are set as expected values, the number N of received signals can necessarily be determined. In the prior art, the number N of received signals was set as an inherent value in the system.
Actually, the variation in received signals is variable depending on different steps in the semiconductor production process or different lots of production in the same process. Accordingly, the variation in an averaged value of N received signals also is variable. As a result, the number of movements is always varied contrary to expectation so that the throughput will be influenced. On the other hand, the accuracy of alignment can be determined based on the signal detection accuracy σA, the accuracy of movement σS and the tolerance T. If the detection accuracy σA is varied, the final accuracy of alignment also is varied.
As will be understood from the foregoing, the alignment operation in the prior art is disadvantageous in that it is impossible to reduce time required in the alignment and yet that the expected throughout and alignment accuracy are unstably and always varied.
It is an object of the present invention to eliminate the disadvantages of the prior art, to reduce time required in alignment operation and to assure the accuracy of, and the time required for, the alignment which are stable relative to the expected values.
Another object of the present invention is to provide means for assuring the accuracy of, and the time required for, the alignment which are always stable independently of a difference between steps in the integrated circuit production process or a variation in alignment detection accuracy due to a difference between lots.
Still another object of the present invention is to provide means for improving the throughput by initiating the reception of AA signals with the necessary minimum stand-by time for the stillness after the stage stop.
These and other objects, features and advantages of the present invention will become more apparent upon a consideration of the following description of the preferred embodiment of the present invention taken in conjunction with the accompanying drawings.
FIG. 1A is a basic flowchart of an aligner used in the contact method, proximity method and one-to-one projection method;
FIG. 1B is a basic flowchart of an off-axis type stepper;
FIG. 1C is a basic flowchart of a TTL die-by-die type stepper;
FIG. 2 is a flowchart of the prior art alignment operating section;
FIG. 3 is a perspective view of one embodiment according to the present invention; and
FIGS. 4A and 4B are flowcharts of the alignment operating section according to the present invention.
FIG. 3 shows the basic construction in the TTL on-axis system together with a wafer 70 having alignment patterns 70a and 70b formed thereon. Although a set of alignment patterns are actually provided for each shot area, only one set of alignment patterns is illustrated in FIG. 3 for the simplicity of explanation. The system includes a wafer stage 71 which holds the wafer 70 thereon and is moved in the directions X, Y and θ by means of a drive mechanism M1. The system also includes a mask stage 74 which holds a photo-mask (reticle) 73 thereon and is moved in the directions X, Y and θ by means of a drive mechanism M2 in two modes of coarse and fine movements. The photo-mask 73 includes alignment patterns 73a, 73b and an actual element pattern 73c which are formed thereon. The mask stage 74 includes an unshown opening formed therethrough such that the projection of the alignment and actual element patterns will not be disturbed. The system further includes a reduction projection optical system 72. The step motion of the wafer is carried out by moving the wafer stage 71 while the alignment between the photo-mask and wafer is attained by moving the mask stage 74 or wafer stage 71.
The system further includes objective lenses 75a, 75b; semi-transmission mirrors 76a, 76b; an optical path splitting prism 77; photo-cells 78a, 78b; a polygonal mirror 79 and a source of a laser beam all of which define a signal detection system. A laser beam from the source 80 is scanningly deflected by rotating the polygonal mirror 79 at a constant speed. The laser beam is then incident on the prism 77 and exits leftwardly therefrom in the former half of a single scanning motion and rightwardly therefrom in the latter half of the same scanning motion. Each of the laser beam portions from the prism 77 is reflected by the corresponding semi-transmission mirror 76a or 76b to the respective objective lens 75a or 75b. After passing through the corresponding objective lens 75a or 75b, the laser beam portion scans the photo-mask 73. The laser beam portion then passes through the projection lens 72 to scan the wafer 70. After being reflected by the alignment patterns 70a and 70b on the wafer 70, the laser beam portions are incident back on the projection lens 72 and then incident on the photo-cells 78a and 78b through the objective lenses 75a, 75b and semi-transmission mirrors 76a, 76b together with the laser beam portions reflected by the alignment patterns on the mask. When the photo-cells detect the laser beam portions, they generate detection signals which are in turn inputted to a control unit C. The detection signals are processed in accordance with flowcharts described hereinafter with the results being used to move the stage 74 through the drive mechanism M2 to attain an alignment between the wafer 70 and the photo-mask 73.
Above the photo-mask 73 there is provided an illumination system (not shown) which is adapted to illuminate the actual element pattern 73C on the photo-mask when the alignment is completed and after the detection system is retracted out of the optical path in the illumination system.
FIGS. 4A and 4B show flowcharts of the alignment operating section in the embodiment of the present invention. Each of these flowcharts corresponds to the respective alignment steps 4, 13 and 44 shown in FIGS. 1A, 1B and 1C.
In the TTL on-axis type stepper, the stage on which the wafer is placed is moved to and stopped at a position near the exposure position (Step 81). At the same time, the detection system is actuated to initiate the reception of AA signals (for example, each comprising data representing intervals between a plurality of bars of the alignment marks) until a desired predetermined number M of such signals are received (Step 82). Subsequently, a computation section computes a deviation (variance) σM in the received detection signals of M in number (step 83).
During receipt of the first M signals, there is necessarily a relative oscillation (vibration) between the mask and wafer since this first reception is initiated immediately after the stage has been stopped. The deviation σM is therefore larger than that after the oscillation has been stopped. In step 84, the deviation is compared with an arbitrary critical or limit value L. The critical value L suitable for the system is set and is compared with the deviation σM (Step 84). If the critical value L is smaller than the deviation σM as determined in Step 84, the previous data represented by the prior M detection signals is cleared and the next receiving operation for subsequent signals of M in number is initiated (Step 91).
The critical value L can be determined based on experiments in which the process of attenuation of any oscillation produced in the whole system upon movement of the particular stage is examined and in which the influence to accuracy in detection due to any degree of oscillation is determined.
In another embodiment of the present invention shown in FIG. 4B, if the comparison in step 104 of the critical value L with the deviation σM shows that σM is larger than L, the next reception of one detection signal is effected and at the same time the first data represented by the first of the previous M detection signals (oldest data) is discarded (Step 105). Consequently, the next computation of deviation σM will be carried out based on the latest data represented by M signals (Step 103).
In both the embodiments of FIGS. 4A and 4B, if the deviation σM is compared with the critical value L, the oscillation after the movement of the stage can substantially instantaneously be discriminated. If the deviation σM becomes equal to or smaller than the critical value L, the procedure goes out of this routine 91 or 112. Thereafter, the procedure may use the data represented by M signals which have been used in the discrimination of σM≦L or may sample new data and use the same. The embodiments shown in FIGS. 4A and 4B are the former case.
In the next step, the next signal is received to compute (M+i) (where i=1, 2, 3 . . . ) in such a manner that the previous data is accumulated (Steps 86 and 107) for calculation of the deviation, that is, the deviation is calculated for the last M detection signals plus an additional detection signal. The total number of detection signals, N=M+i, used to compute the value (M+i), i.e. σN is utilized to compute a function of deviation σN/√N which is in turn compared with a preset arbitrary critical value or tolerance T (Steps 87 and 108). In Step 87 or 108 additional detection signals are successively received along a loop 92 or 114 until the value σN/√N is equal to or smaller than T.
The function of deviation σN/√N is exemplified for such a purpose that if a variation (variance) in detected alignment signals is varied to increase for any reason, the number of receiving operations is increased. If the variance is relatively small, the number of receiving operation is decreased. Thus, the variance in the average of the received data can be made constant.
Therefore, the formula σN/√N is not necessarily used and the value σN is not limited to the deviation if it can represent any variation in detected signals.
After the procedure has passed through Step 87 or 108 at the discrimination of σN/√N≦T, the average value of data will always have a constant variance.
Although the flowcharts have been described as if the detection signals are from a single position, it is desirable to use two data from different positions (XL, YL) and (XR, YR). Based on averages of the respective data (XL, YL) and (XR, YR), the amounts of movement relative to target values, ΔX=(XL+XR)/2, ΔY=(YL+YR)/2, Δθ=(YL-YR)/2 are computed (Steps 88 and 109).
It is discriminated whether or not these computed values are acceptable, based on preset tolerance values (Steps 89 and 110). If they are not acceptable, the movements are executed by the given amounts ΔX, ΔY and Δθ (Steps 90 and 111). Thereafter, the program again enters the loop in which signals are received (Steps 93 and 115). If acceptable, the preparation for an exposure step starts.
According to the improved alignment flowcharts as shown in FIGS. 4A and 4B, a reliable timing for starting reception of signals can be judged in real-time by monitoring any oscillation resulting from the movement of the stage to eliminate the loss of time due to the indiscriminate delay time so that the throughput can be improved. This advantage can be accomplished only by the inherent function in the system without any additional hardware (for example, new mechanism) in accordance with the present invention.
The present invention provides another advantage in that stable alignment accuracy and throughput can always be obtained in no connection with any difference between steps of wafer, any difference between lots or others.
While the invention has been described with reference to the structures disclosed herein, it is not confined to the details set forth and this application is intended to cover such modifications or changes as may come within the purposes of the improvements or the scope of the following claims.
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Destination Unknown Part 2January 6, 2015 at 9:36 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments
Tags: crime, dating, drama, Edmonds, journal, love, memoirs, murder, new, online dating, personal, relationship, Seattle, sex, trauma, WA
In late September, a man emailed me from the dating site. I looked at his profile and the first thing that caught my attention was a list I recognized. He had quoted "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz to describe what he believes is important in relationship:
"The Four Agreements"
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don't take anything personally.
3. Don't make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.
― Miguel Ruiz
He also wrote about his two beautiful daughters and how important they are to him. The photos he posted of himself on the dating site, showed a dark haired, tall athletic built man wearing dark sunglasses. In a second photo he was kneeling down and petting a little dog. I thought he was very handsome. I can't remember exactly what he had written in the email. I do remember he mentioned that, like me, he was also a fan of David Sedaris. Shortly afterward he invited me to chat online. After a few days of brief chats, we exchanged phone numbers and started texting by mobile phone. He was new to texting, and responses were slow. I was too impatient to wait, so I asked him if he'd like to call me later. He called me that evening.
He called at the exact time he told me he would. He told me his name is Ernest. I found it quite old-fashioned and charming. As soon as I heard his voice, my judgment slipped in, and I felt he probably wasn't a match for me. He had a deep, somewhat monotone voice that reminded me of the young potheads I used to hang out with in my youth. I certainly didn't want another relationship with a drug addict.
A friend of mine was also meeting men online. We would talk to each other about our experiences. We soon realized we couldn't keep track of which man the other was talking about. We ended up using nicknames to describe the men we were meeting. There was The Short Guy, The Lawyer, Southern Drawl Guy, The Fisherman, etc. It was much easier to remember the men by naming something descriptive about them. Unfortunately, I called Ernest the "Stoner Voice Guy". Later, I would learn he wasn't stoned when he and I were talking. However, he does have a distinct voice and style of speaking.
I also found out he had grown up in California, where he had been a surfer since he was four years old.
Ernest was kind and different from other men I had chatted with. He called regularly in the evenings. I really enjoyed our conversations. I noticed he had a rather advanced vocabulary. He was articulate and intelligent. He showed an interest in my day-to-day life and asked a lot of questions. I was curious as to how he was able to hold intelligent conversation when, presumably, he was high. He was extremely polite –never inappropriate. He made suggestions to help me deal with the chronic case of insomnia I had been suffering from. He also showed an interest in hypnotherapy, which I was studying at the time.
One Sunday morning, Ernest texted me while he was at a grocery store. In jest, I asked him to pick up a pineapple for me. He said he would. We agreed to meet that afternoon for lunch at a local cafe. I had to cancel shortly before lunch because my son and his wife had unexpectedly come for a visit. With the thirty year divorce shakeup in the family, I felt it was more important to spend time with my children. I cancelled, but I agreed to meet him at the same place for dinner that evening. The kids stayed much longer than I had anticipated, and we had such a lovely visit I wasn't about to cut it short. Around 8:30 PM, the kids left and I noticed I had missed a few texts from Ernest. I texted an apology. He told me was getting ready for bed, as he had to get up early for work. I felt so bad, I told him that if he would like to come out, we could have a quick meetup. He agreed and we set out to meet at a local cafe.
I didn't spend a lot of time primping for the meeting, as I felt quite sure this was not going to be a love connection. I enjoyed talking with Ernest, and I thought we could both use a good friend.
As I parked my car on the street in front of the cafe, a pair of headlights shone in my rear view mirror, as a car pulled in directly behind me. I had a feeling it was Ernest. I grabbed my purse and stepped out of the car, I looked up toward the curb and there he stood.
Ernest was tall with dark hair and sparkling blue-green eyes. He was looking down at me, with his million dollar smile. In hindsight, I believe I fell in love with him as soon as I saw him.
I found it so romantic that he actually brought me a pineapple. Later he would tell me how he had left the grocery store to go the natural foods store in order pick up an organic pineapple. He knew I was into cooking and he wanted to impress me.
I was impressed.
If ever there was such a thing as love at first sight, I was experiencing it in that moment. I find it very difficult to explain exactly how I was feeling. I was instantly drawn into his energy. When my eyes met his eyes I felt an immediate connection. It was like nothing I'd ever felt before. I wasn't sure what was happening to me, but I knew I was completely taken aback by the strong attraction I felt for him. I can't remember what I said at that point. I was completely smitten. I felt like a seventeen year old girl again. It was as though a spell had been cast, and I didn't like it one bit. Falling in love wasn't in the plan.
Inside the cafe, Ernest ordered fish and chips and I ordered scrambled eggs and hash browns. The waitress let us know that the cafe would be closing soon but that she would still serve us. I was disappointed that our meeting would now be cut short. After we ate, Ernest asked if I'd like to look for another place where we could continue our visit. We agreed on a local pub down the street from the cafe. As we strolled down the street, he asked, "May I hold your hand?" He also offered me his jacket, as it was a chilly fall evening. He was a perfect gentleman. We walked to the pub and sat by the fireplace. We both ordered a cup of tea.
We talked for at least an hour. Noticing the time, we assumed the pub would be closing soon. Ernest asked if I'd like to catch the ferry to continue talking. I really didn't want to ride the ferry. It was too brightly lit and chilly. I thought long and hard about making a decision that would go against every bit of common sense I still had left. I believed he was safe.
I don't recommend what I did next. It may be the most irresponsible thing I've ever done in my life. I told him that I live close by. I told him that he should not take it the wrong way as I was inviting him to my place because it was a warm and comfortable place to continue talking. I made sure he understood that I had never done anything like this before. I certainly did not want him to get the wrong idea. I told him I wasn't that kind of girl (what does that even mean?). I knew my apartment would be warm and I had tea and cupcakes there. Yes, I said cupcakes. Yes, I'm that naive. He, of course, agreed. Maybe it was due to the fact that he had spent so much time pursuing me that somehow I intuitively felt he was safe. Again, don't try this at home. It was like my brain had disengaged from the rest of my body.
Back at my place, I made tea and served them with the cupcakes. We sat on the sofa, drank tea, and talked some more. At one point, Ernest moved closer to me and gave me a kiss.
The next thing I remember were clothes, boots, and socks flying off, as passion took over.
At the critical moment, I asked, "Do you have protection?"
He said, "No, do you?"
"Uh, no. Why would I have condoms?"
Then, He said, "Well, I don't carry condoms around with me, and I didn't think this was going to happen".
I guess I assumed all men carry condoms around for their frequent wild sexual escapades.
In hindsight I'm surprised I was more worried about catching a sexually transmitted disease than whether I had invited a murderer into my home. I may have lost my ever lovin' mind that night, but I wasn't completely crazy.
I thought for a minute and then said, "Well, I guess we can just talk some more."
Ernest was already putting his boots back on. We were both back in our clothes and driving to the only open store in town.
I waited in the car while Ernest ran inside. As I sat waiting, I thought this is surely a sign from God. The Universe must be giving me time to think this whole thing through.
I imagined my mother's voice in one ear warning me, "He won't respect you. You'll never see him again. He only wants one thing!".
In my other ear a little Betty Boop-like devil shouted, "Who cares about being the good girl? You're not a girl, you're a woman! You can do whatever you want to!" Boop was winning.
Just then Ernest jumped into the car. I threw caution to the wind. Let's do this thing!
I was dizzy with passion and lust. But there was still that other indescribable thing. What was it? It wasn't about just having a good time. There was something more happening that I didn't quite understand. It felt as though an outside power was pulling me toward him. I could describe what I was feeling, but like most of my description here, it's just a long list of clichés.
As we drove back to my place, we couldn't stop laughing. We both knew how crazy it was. Two adults, behaving like teenagers.
I'll leave the rest of the evening to the imagination.
After that evening we were inseparable. We wanted to be together all of the time. We were together every moment we could be.
The first few weeks we took turns cooking for one another. He still didn't feel like a match for me. We both have strong opinions and Ernest proved himself to be a formidable opponent during arguments. We couldn't help but notice how different we were from one another.
In spite of our differences, the powerful draw to be together only became stronger.
Three weeks later, Ernest had gone to work and I was at my mother's house having a cup of tea. Ernest and I had been texting one another back and forth earlier that morning. We both have a goofy sense of humor and the exchanges were light and flirtatious.
Little did we know how much our lives, especially Ernest's life, were about to change forever.
In the early morning hours, a dark force had come in while we were sound asleep. What we believed had started as another typical day, was only an illusion. Those lighthearted exchanges and silly flirtations and the thrill of a new love, would soon be behind us and yet neither one of us had any idea.
The day-to-day problems that had seemed so important the day before, suddenly melted into nothingness.
My mobile phone rang as I was preparing to leave my mother's house. It was Ernest.
"Anita, I need to see you."
When I heard his voice, I knew something was different. You know that sick feeling you get in the pit of your stomach? It's like a sense of impending doom. The panicky shaking feeling you get when you know bad news is coming? I had all of these feelings at once.
"Ernest, what's wrong?"
His tone was serious.
As he spoke, his voice cracked, "Anita, my daughter was murdered last night."
I still remember that moment. For one split second, I wondered if maybe he was crazy. My initial thought was, "This can't be real."
It was so much to take in at once. I had taken call in my parent's home office. Through the glass doors of their office I could see my mother and step-father oblivious to what had happened. They were laughing and talking to one another. Just a few moments ago, I was on the other side of that door oblivious and laughing with them. It took me a moment to grasp the gravity of what I was hearing. How can something this horrific have happened?
The pain I felt for Ernest was overwhelming. I was shaking. Somehow I managed to talk in a calm voice. It was as though something was speaking for me. I can't remember my exact words, but I let him know I was there for him.
He asked me to meet him at my apartment.
Three weeks after Ernest and I met, his beautiful nineteen year old daughter, Scarlett, was murdered.
While walking home to her apartment, Scarlett was attacked by a young male wielding a butcher knife. She suffered several stab wounds, including the fatal stab to her neck. The attack was brutal. She did not know her attacker.
Scarlett was young and had just set out on her own five months prior to the attack.
Her boyfriend returned later to find her lying unconscious on the apartment landing, in a pool of blood. He called 911 for help and began CPR, but it was too late.
I have never lost a child, so I can only speak of what I've been told and from what I've observed. If you've ever loved somebody who has lost their child, you know the intense pain that can only be known to the parent himself. The lives of the family are changed forever. Forever. You never get over losing a child, you just have to live with it.
The pain is multiplied by the immediate unanswered questions. How did this happen? Who did this? Why? How badly did she suffer?
That evening when Ernest came to my apartment, he looked like a different man. There was nothing I could say more than how sorry I was. I listened. He was obviously in shock. I just listened to anything he said. I held him while he cried. I sat beside him as members of his family called. I held his hand as he spoke to the victim's activist. He could only take a few steps before he would drop over and weep. I didn't think he was going to survive. The victim's advocate told me he shouldn't be left alone. I helped him into the bath and bathed him. He was obviously in shock. He cried. It wasn't like any crying I had ever heard before. It was a guttural cry. It scared me. Afterward we sat on my sofa in the dark until it became so late he fell asleep. I covered him and sat beside him the rest of the night. I will never forget the darkness in the room that evening.
Hours turned into days, days into weeks, and weeks into months of wildly swinging emotions.
I had no idea the challenges that were still ahead.
My First Paleo RunOctober 9, 2014 at 8:15 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments
First of all, to those who have been asking, Part 2 of my personal story, Destination Unknown, is almost finished.
I want to talk about why I've been busy. This past week I have been experimenting with the popular Paleo Diet. I'm not one to follow fad diets, but I do like the idea of healthy eating.
I visited Third Place Books to see the author, Danielle Walker , speak about her new book, "Against All Grain, Meals Made Simple". I'd like to start by saying, Danielle Walker has a wealth of information on grain free eating. Obviously, I only have my two cents. This is the perfect book for people who want to learn how to start their grain-free diet. As a sidebar, Danielle is drop dead gorgeous. She is also as sweet as pie. Of course the pie would be sweetened with maple syrup, honey, or coconut crystals, as she has a health issue which requires her to give up the grains. My curiosity was piqued when learning that this diet is also good for people with Hashimoto's Disease. I have Hashimoto's. I also have tummy problems, and end up in some degree of suffering several evenings around dinner time.
I bought her book and followed her first week's worth of grocery shopping – which was a lot of work. It wasn't simple for me. She does make this as easy as possible by providing 8 weeks worth of menus and grocery lists, complete with copies and perforated edges to tear out of the book. But make no mistake, changing how you cook and bake requires some work.
I shopped at Whole Foods and Trader Joe's, plus I had to order a five-pound bag of blanched almond flour from Amazon ($40!). Grass fed, pastured, organic, etc. By now, if you know anything about food and diet, you know the drill for Paleo. If you don't, you can check it out here. It is expensive, but minus the grains, it wasn't as crazy expensive as I thought it would be–thank you Trader Joe's.
I've only followed Walker's menu plan for the last three days, so this is in no way a well-studied review.
After three days, I noticed something that concerns me. I don't think I'm eating enough. I lose my appetite. The thought of another bite of pork, beef, coconut oil, egg, and even the damned pile of vegetables simply makes me feel sick. I didn't eat dinner two nights in a row. I had a few bites and found the foods too heavy. This morning, after making paleo pancakes, I just had to stop with the recipes. Maybe it's all of the fiber filling me up. Two days ago, I ate a good breakfast: egg, paleo wrap, slice bacon, light sprinkling of feta and a dab of pesto. Then I took my parents out to lunch for my mother's birthday, and I couldn't eat. That evening, I couldn't eat the dinner that had been cooking all day in the crock pot. I did, however, manage to put down a glass of wine and half a coconut ice cream bar. Yesterday, I ate some of the leftover dinner in a wrap –not too much, just a quarter of a cup–for breakfast. I went to meet a girlfriend for lunch and managed to eat two slivers of chicken. At dinner time I ate two bites of the pork roast and a few bites of the spinach. I had a glass of wine and three paleo chocolate chip cookies (I like dessert). The end. Stuffed.
ABOVE: Creating my own breakfast burrito (wrap, egg, bacon, pesto, feta)
I've found the recipes (from the few meals I've cooked) too time consuming. I am not going to spend the rest of my life in a kitchen dicing, slicing, julienning, etc. Plus, cooking chopping and browning meats and vegetables in the mornings to get the crock pot started and then returning home to do more of the same? No thank you. Been there, done that. I enjoy doing more than cooking and baking these days.
The upside? No tummy ache in three days. This is huge. Coincidence? Maybe.
I'm happy I bought the book. Danielle Walker gives all of the basics and I believe I have enough experience in the kitchen to understand how to convert my own recipes. Basically, I just need to drop the grains.
Breakfast can consist of hash browned yams, eggs, and bacon. Quiche is another option–especially for me as I don't think I have a problem with dairy. Lunch can always be leftover dinner. Dinners? A great grilled salmon with basil and lemon and a side of riced cauliflower and sautéed chard. Simple. Done. How about roasted chicken with a huge salad or asparagus and baked sweet potato fries? Done and done.
I am in love with the idea of pasture and grass-fed, organic is awesome too. The expensive almond flour? Totally worth it. I think it makes great baked goods. I'll keep that part up. Here is a link to Ms Walker's chocolate chip cookies. Mmm, they're so darn good. I added chopped pecans and an extra chunk of dark chocolate to the tops before baking. It's nice to know I'm eating a cooking that isn't filled with empty calories. I apologize for the photos below, but I was in a hurry to eat a cookie.
ABOVE: As you can see, I got lazy and just started sticking pieces of dark chocolate into the center of the cookies
I still have the remaining ingredients for the remaining week's recipes, but I will cook them following my own recipes. I believe Ms Walker's intent on creating this cookbook was to create a guideline for those interested in Paleo, and as far as I'm concerned,she has succeeded.
Update: I made the pancake recipe from Danielle's cookbook this morning and I'm sorry to report, I don't like them–nor does my husband. I'll have to try something else.
"Destination Unknown" Part 1September 16, 2014 at 11:18 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments
Tags: dating, divorce, foodbank, long term marriage divorce
It's crazy when I think about how many times I've sat down to write a new blog entry, only to find myself overwhelmed with all of the things I have to say. So much has happened. The longer I put it off, the more overwhelming the process becomes. Today I've made the commitment to write something. Anything.
The past four years of my life have proven to be life changing. Extremely life changing. I'm talking about 180 degree change.
As a blogger, I wrote about my family, the foods I cooked, the gardens, the chickens, photography, and other little tidbits about domestic life. I believe I used those things to hyper-focus on the good things I enjoyed, versus writing about the pain, the dysfunction, and failure of my marriage.
The truth is, I didn't even dream about a better life. I thought I was stuck. As things became harder to bare, the day finally came when I realized I had no choice but to get out of that marriage. It wasn't really a marriage at all. It was familiar to me, as I was raised in an extremely dysfunctional family. I finally graduated from that level of dysfunction. The ship was going down, and I wasn't about to sink with it.
I packed a small suitcase, picked up Giovanni and left. I had no money, no job, and I had several health problems. Anything was better than where I was at. I didn't even look back at the gardens, the chickens, the house, or the perceived security. Nothing was worth giving up anymore time from my life. I had already given close to thirty years. I knew I'd be better off living under a bridge than staying in that sick relationship.
Fast forward four years and here I am happily remarried, healing my heart, and connecting to spirit more than ever before.
The journey getting to this place was quite a roller coaster ride. I suppose life is a roller coaster ride, but this roller coaster seemed to have extra steep ups and downs. It was all worth it. I'm continuing my journey, and I'm sure there will be more ups and downs, but at least it's in motion and I'm moving forward.
In the past year, I was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). Although a few doctors insist I don't have ADHD, I have PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder). I'm not one for labels, but I will say, the diagnosis has given me a great place to start in seeking solutions for the issues that arise in my life that keep me from accomplishing the goals I've set for my future.
Using tools and techniques designed to help people with both ADHD and PTSD has proven beneficial for me. I became a registered hypnotherapist during the time I was ending my marriage. I took a course offered through a highly respectable University of natural health, located here in Washington state. I still continue studying hypnotherapy and NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming) through a reputable program offered by a man who is an expert in both hypnosis and NLP.
The fear of leaving the marriage was intense. I felt guilty for all of the wrong reasons. A brief session of hypnotherapy and NLP made it possible for me to leave and keep moving forward and away from my ex-husband. Addiction to relationship is real — to your brain. Maybe it's better to say the brain can be tricked into believing it's real. Thankfully, a trusted family member told me, it served no purpose for me to feel guilty about leaving a person who keeps hurting me. He added, "It is better to have one sick person than two." That was one of the key lines that helped me to drop the guilt immediately. As the smoke cleared, I was able to understand that some people choose to live in darkness. I also learned how we can be manipulated into feeling sorry for people who play the victim.
By the way, it only took one session, by phone, to give me the courage to move and never look back.
It was as though I had lived with my head in the sand, ignoring all of the signs I was being shown. I have a close relationship with my spiritual guidance. I have helped many people with their relationships, but I still avoided the messages "Upstairs" was sending to me. Once I was journaling on the beach, and I asked why I was experiencing such a devastating depression. I clearly heard, "You need to leave your marriage!". I asked again, because I was sure that couldn't be the answer. Again I heard, "Leave now!". It would be a few months later that I had the hypnotherapy that allowed me to do that. Through my ex's threats of suicide and abandoning me financially, I kept moving forward.
I was lucky enough to have the court order maintenance support which helped me to live in an apartment for a few months. Of course,dishonorable people do not do what they are court ordered- at least not after they find out they don't benefit from doing the right thing. That part was predictable. I still didn't go back. I trusted in the Universe, and through the help of good friends and family I stumbled through the first year intact, and I have beautiful memories of that time period.
Sure there were hard times. There were plenty of hard times. I have a tumor-like cyst in my spinal nerve (benign) that causes me a lot of pain. Then about a year after I left, I was t-boned by a car that ran a red light. The accident totaled my treasured old Oldsmobile and left me pretty beat up. I now had shoulder tears, neck damage, numbness in my arms and hands, and a hoarse voice due to vocal cord impingement.
I ended up having to find ways to survive. Standing in line at food banks is a humbling experience. I was frightened. I'd stand in lines looking at what was being offered, remembering the times I had donated to these organizations. It felt surreal. I also thought of all of the food I'd prepared and shared on my blog. .I was so grateful I knew how to cook. On one visit, an elderly male volunteer asked me if I wanted an oxtail. Apparently nobody wanted it, and he was trying to find a taker. I was so excited. A few people around me looked at me like I was nuts, but I knew how good the oxtail stew was going to taste for dinner that night! In food lines you take what you can get and you're grateful for it. Apples old and bruised? I made applesauce. I learned the difference between "use by" and "best if used by" dates. I don't know if it's because I live in the great Northwest, but there was always enough food. I got a little tired of rice and beans, but at least I knew how to cook them to make them flavorful. Growing up poor had its benefits.
Throughout all of these, at times, frightening experiences, I met a man, and I fell in love.
Our happiness was short-lived….
It's hard to write about any of this, but he has encouraged me to tell my story.
To be continued in Part 2
..you didn't really believe it was all about the food, did you?November 25, 2013 at 10:54 am | Posted in Awareness, My Dysfunctional family, my life, Uncategorized | 10 Comments
Tags: boyfriend, challenge, change, divorce, divorce in middle age, Food, grown children, home, hope, life change, long term marriage, love, manfriend, poverty, Thanksgiving
First of all, I'd like to welcome my new subscribers! I have been absent for a long time, but it is always heart warming to see new people visiting and checking out my blog.
I'm so excited to be starting a new chapter in my life. The past three years have been challenging, but I'm a survivor. I'm a "gypsy", and we gypsy types, laugh in the face of change. Okay, maybe we don't actually laugh out loud, we laugh inside whilst grimacing. Let me just say this, we know that change is inevitable.
It was not easy to leave my thirty year marriage. Having been a homemaker, stay at home mother, and homeschool mom, I've had to deal with the realities of being a single unemployed forty-eight year old woman, with no "marketable" skills and serious health issues.
I left my home with a roll-a-way, aqua colored, suitcase and my little dog ,Giovanni. I didn't think about my lack of skills, the physical pain, the probable loss of my health insurance, not having enough money to eat, or the long, humbling food bank lines.
For the first time in thirty years, I refused to see my ex's well-being as more important than my own.
I stopped questioning the Universe. The message was clear, "Leave now!"
Not only was the message clear, the voice was loud, and I knew the voice was from the deepest part of me, and it did not waver. The message was from my spirit. Leaving was necessary for my survival.
I grabbed a few of my personal belongings: my favorite dresses, my boots, makeup, hot rollers, prescription medications, hypnotherapy books, tarot cards, a few protein bars, and Giovanni. I loaded it all into my Oldsmobile, and drove away.
I was was finally free.
Challenges followed. Challenges are still ahead of me.
Yet, I'm still here. The Universe has held me up.
Life is better.
Switching gears now, my son, is in graduate school, on the other side of the country! He will be visiting for Thanksgiving, and I can't wait! It's been close to a year since I last saw him. I visited New York City with my boyfriend (sounds weird to call him a "boy"friend, considering we are both in our forties!), and although I was born and lived, on and off, in Upstate New York, I'd never been to the big city. It was, as you might imagine– unless you've visited or you live there, then of course it wouldn't make sense that you'd have to imagine– crowded, to say the least. Tall buildings, loud, subways, taxis , shopping, and food! I love New York, I really do, but I'm happy he will be in Seattle for Thanksgiving.
I don't cook as much as I used to, but this Thanksgiving, I will have help (manfriend), and I'm not going to be the crazy perfectionist I used to be. I want to enjoy my time with family and friends. That said, there will be food, and lots of it.
Happy Holidays!
Thank you friends! 2012 in reviewDecember 30, 2012 at 3:01 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here's an excerpt:
4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 50,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 12 Film Festivals
After Divorce, life goes on….June 13, 2012 at 5:34 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments
So much has changed since my last post. I'm in the middle of a divorce right now, but it isn't a bad thing.
I'm discovering more about myself and the journey continues. There will be food, but as you know, it isn'nt all about the food.
Walking the path…
Farfalle with Mushrooms and SausagesMay 6, 2010 at 8:24 pm | Posted in cooking, Flexitarian, Food, Italian food, Pasta Dishes, photography, Recipes, Weeknight Dinners | 17 Comments
Tags: cooking, designer pastas, farfalle, Food, garlic, Italian American, Italian cooking, Italian food, Italian sausage, main dish, mushrooms, Pasta, photography, pottery, recipe, Torino, Weeknight Dinners
Have you seen this beautiful Farfalle pasta by Torino? I was shopping at World Market's Cost Plus, when this jumped out at me! Look at the beautiful colors.
It cost more than what I like to spend on pasta, but I couldn't pass this up. They call it "designer" pasta. I'm not into designer fashion, but apparently I'm a sucker for designer pastas now.
The recipe on the back of the box made my final decision. It's SO simple to make and it tastes so fresh and earthy!
Farfalle with Mushrooms and Sausages
Adapted from Torino pasta recipe
8.8 ounce farfalle pasta
6 ounce mushrooms (possibly porcini or 2 ounce dry porcini put in water to soften for 2-3 hours)– I used a package of wild Italian mushrooms I found at World Market
6 oz fresh sweet sausage-I used Italian sausage from Whole Foods
5 oz white wine
1/4 white onion
1/2 clove garlic- I used whole
1 oz extra virgin olive oil
2 oz light cream — I used whole milk
3 oz grated pecorino or parmesan cheese- I used both
pepper and salt to taste
In a skillet, sautee x-tra virgin olive oil with garlic and onion–finely chopped. Add the sausage without skin, and cook for 5 minutes to color. Add the mushrooms and cook slowly and add the white wine. When it looks ready, add the salt and pepper and light cream.
Cook the pasta al dente in plenty of salted water. Drain pasta and place in the sauce skillet mix on top of stove for 2 minutes and then serve with cheese.
The mushrooms are SO earthy!
I served it with chardonnay
Simple enough for a weeknight meal, and flavorful enough to impress company.
Spanakopita and Gardening in April/MayMay 2, 2010 at 6:48 pm | Posted in baking, cooking, Flexitarian, Food, gardening, photography, Recipes, Vegetarian | 9 Comments
Tags: angelnina, angelnina's cottage, baking, cooking, ethnic, flowers, Food, gardening, gnome, Greek food, photography, phyllo, recipe, spanakopita, spanokopita, spinach, spinach pie, tulip, vegetable garden, Vegetarian
Spanakopita or Spinach Pie
Adapted from a recipe posted online–years ago–by Jack Roemer
14 Phyllo Pastry sheets
2 cloves garlic, crushed
4 Tbsp olive oil + 4 Tbsp melted butter
spray olive oil
40 ounces frozen spinach, chopped OR 2 – 16oz pack
1/2 cup chopped fresh Italian(flat leaf) parsley
1/4 cup chopped sweet onion
3 Tbsp fresh chopped dill
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1 cup cottage cheese –I use lowfat
1 egg
6 ounces feta cheese, crumbled
a light sprinkling of white wine vinegar- approx 2 tsp
Thaw and drain the 2- 16oz packages of spinach.
Crush the garlic and drop into the olive oil and butter. Set aside.
To make the filling, squeeze the spinach between your hands to remove most of
the liquid. Place in a bowl or in a food processor. Add the parsley, onions,
dill, nutmeg, salt and pepper. Stir in the cottage cheese, egg and
feta. —NOTE– I do it all in the processor except for the feta. — Combine well. Lightly coat a 9 x 13 inch baking dish with nonstick cooking spray.
Lay one sheet of phyllo in the bottom of the dish and drape the edges overthe
sides of the dish. Spray lightly with cooking spray and cover with another sheet of phyllo dough. Brush that sheet with the garlic-olive oil mixture.
Layer a total of four sheets, coating each alternately with nonstick cooking spray and olive oil. Spread half the filling over the prepared phyllo dough. Lay another sheet of dough over the filling and coat lightly with cooking spray. Lay down another sheet and lightly coat with olive oil mixture. Continue alternating spray and olive oil for a total of four
sheets. Layer remaining spinach filling on dough. Sprinkle on the vinegar-as evenly as possible.
Continue layering phyllo dough over the filling, spraying the first sheet and alternately brushing with olive oil and spraying subsequent sheets. The last layer has 6 sheets.
When finished, brush the surface with olive oil mixture and roll the edges of the doughin ward to create an attractive rim around the outside. Score the surface with a sharp knife into 12 portions.
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Bake for 40 minutes until golden. I turn on the broiler at this point for 1-2 minutes (keep pan in center of oven) WATCH IT, or you will burn the top layer! Allow to cool 10 minutes before serving. Makes 12 portions.
Test kitchen notes: Phyllo means "leaf" in Greek. The dough is usually available in the frozen food section of most supermarkets or in Greek or Middle Eastern markets. For best results, allow dough to defrost overnight in the refrigerator. Keep it covered with wax paper and a damp towel while making pie.
The Gardens in April and Early May
I've decided to post my gardens once a month. I want to document the stages of growth.
This is the time of year I start to get excited about gardening. I love my flowers, but I especially love the vegetable and herb gardens.
That said, I planted an assortment of flowers from seed this year. I rarely do this, but my cousin , MaryAnne, who lives in upstate New York, sent me seeds from her own flower gardens and a packet of Honey Bear Sunflower seeds, which means I might have a new passion. I'll post on those as soon as the seeds germinate.
The terracotta pot above is my husband's great find. It is from Mexico, and I thought a few coral colored begonias, double pink impatiens, along with a few chicks from my Hens and Chicks plants, would look lovely in this pot.
The portable greenhouse is filled with starts and seedlings:
Tomatoes, cucumbers, pumpkins, artichoke, basil, and squash are waiting to go under the cloche of the front gardens.
Flowering seeds are in their little seed pots too.
As you can see, the backyard garden has plenty of cool weather plants:
lettuce, radish, beets, onions, spicy mixed lettuces, carrots, broccoli, and several herbs.


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Featured news
Energy security pros: More competent, or just naive?
Energy security professionals are extremely confident in their ability to detect a cyberattack on critical systems, with 86 percent stating they could detect a breach in less than one week.
153 machines still infected with Stuxnet
The threat that Stuxnet presents for nuclear power plants is far from over, as there are still 153 distinct machines infected with it around the world.
NIST updates ICS security guide
The National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) has issued the second revision to its Guide to Industrial Control Systems (ICS) Security.
A look at emergent threats and their influence
Analyzing Dell data sources and the 2014 threat landscape, their new report found a surge in point-of-sale (POS) malware, increased malware traffic within encrypted (https) web protocols, as well as twice the number of attacks on supervisory control and data acquisition (SCADA) systems over 2013.
How vulnerable is our critical national infrastructure?
Considered the backbone of the nations economy, security and health; critical infrastructure provides power, water, transportation, and communications systems relied on to connect us with our friends and family to our communities.
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Why is Paranormal Activity 3 rated R?
Official MPAA Rating: Paranormal Activity 3 is rated R for for some violence, language, brief sexuality and drug use.
This additional information about the movie's content is taken from the notes of various Canadian Film Classification boards:
- Brief non-graphic violence.
- Infrequent hand-to-hand violence (no blood, but some detail shown).
- Frequent portrayals of unexplained aural and visual phenomena in a traumatic context, most involving children.
- Some scenes may frighten children.
- Occasional upsetting or disturbing scenes.
Sexual Content:
- Brief portrayal of sexual activity (no nudity).
- Mild sexual references and innuendo.
- Embracing and kissing.
- Fondling.
- Frequent use of the sexual expletive in a non-sexual context.
- Infrequent use of scatological slang, mild sexual references, cursing and profanity.
Drugs and Alcohol:
- One portrayal of illegal drug use for recreational purposes.


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The Call: Finding and Fulfilling the Central Purpose of Your Life - eBook
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Product Description
Product Information
|Format: DRM Protected ePub
Vendor: Thomas Nelson
Publication Date: 2003
Availability: In Stock
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Publisher's Description
The Call continues to stand as a classic, reflective work on life's purpose. Best-selling author Os Guinness goes beyond our surface understanding of God's call and addresses the fact that God has a specific calling for our individual lives.
Why am I here? What is God's call in my life? How do I fit God's call with my own individuality? How should God's calling affect my career, my plans for the future, my concepts of success? Guinness now helps the reader discover answers to these questions, and more, through a corresponding workbook - perfect for individual or group study.
According to Guinness, "No idea short of God's call can ground and fulfill the truest human desire for purpose and fulfillment." With tens of thousands of readers to date, The Call is for all who desire a purposeful, intentional life of faith.
Also availbale in audio format, narrated by Os Guinness.
Author Bio
Product Reviews
friendCalifprniaAge: 55-65Gender: male4 Stars Out Of 5was more than I expectedAugust 23, 2013friendCalifprniaAge: 55-65Gender: maleQuality: 4Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5a very insightful book. many examples to help thinking through the subject
Thomas BrubakerAge: 45-54Gender: male5 Stars Out Of 5September 21, 2010Thomas BrubakerAge: 45-54Gender: maleI find this book to very eye opening about our calling. There is an audience of one that we should concerned about. And that "One" is God. He is the "Caller" and we are the "called." Os Guinness is an excellent man of God. I very much recommend this book. It is not a self help book, but a book that will make you realize that God is the one that we all need.
Chris White5 Stars Out Of 5June 13, 2008Chris WhiteA great book and I learned a ton from his incredibly well versed literary and historical knowledge and examples used in his book. Does a great job giving a picture for each topic he describes before diving into it. Only knock is that I wish he had more scripture throughout the book, but the middle and towards the end are GOLD for a person's faith. Great practical mind towards our living for God and our using of our gifts.
David Medina5 Stars Out Of 5September 2, 2004David MedinaOne of the best books I have read in a long, long time. Outstanding! It deals with the subject of christian calling from a refreshing point of view. Profound but very undertsandable, it does not depend of worn out cliches and it is very real. Read it if you want to be face with the Biblical reality of God's calling for your life.
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text: Four of us went for the first time this past weekend, and all of us were impressed. The salad bar was extensive/superb, We had so many cuts of perfectly cooked meal I lost count, but I know I tried ribs, lamb, pork, and beef. The dessert selections were also excellent. For the meal, wine, tip... read more


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Martha Stewart Baby Onesies, Caps, and Bib Embroidery Sets
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Martha Stewart Baby Onesies, Caps, and Bib Embroidery Set
Gifted by Martha Stewart Crafts
Reviewed by Karisa Tell
Martha's done it again! Take the guesswork out of homemade baby gifts by using one of these kits for making either an embroidered bib or an embroidered hat and matching onesie. Each kit comes with the bib or hat and onesie, stamped with the image to be embroidered, along with color coordinated thread. All you have to do is stitch and wrap, and you've got yourself a simple baby gift made with love. Designs include an adorable bird and a swirly bee design, perfect for both baby boys and girls. Stock up on a bunch of these kits so you'll always be able to whip up a quick gift for a baby at a moment's notice.
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Receipt - Issued to G Toth, Andrews Camera Stores, 26 Sep 1959 Reg. No: HT 864
- Summary:
- Receipt issued to G Toth by Andrews Camera Stores, dated 26 September 1959. The receipt is for Astron Binoculars. In 1957 Julius came to Australia after he escaped the Russian invasion of Hungary. Leaving his family in Hungary, he survived a dangerous journey alone to escape across the border to Austria. He was only able to bring a few possessions with him including his moulding tools, cigarette holder and photo album, which were 18th birthday presents from a sister and friend.
- Description:
- Cream coloured paper receipt with black printed text and details filled out in blue ink. There is a small green stamp in the top left corner which indicates stamp duty has been paid.
- Acquisition Information:
- Donation from Mr Julius Toth, 2001
|19.60 cm (Height), 13.30 cm (Length)
More information
|Tagged with:
|recreation, immigration, receipts, recreation activities, binoculars, hungarian communities, hungarian immigration
|Themes this item is part of:
|Migration Collection, Working Life & Trades Collection
|Primary Classification:
|Secondary Classification:
|Settlement - Banking & Finance
|Tertiary Classification:
|financial records
|Text: ANDREWS/CAMERA/STORES/230 COLLINS STREET, MELBOURNE, C.I. - 63-7004/FOR ALL YOUR PHOTOGRAPHIC REQUIREMENTS.
|Issued By:
|Andrews Camera Store, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, 26 Sep 1959
|Issued To:
|Mr Julius Toth, Elsternwick, Victoria, Australia, 26 Sep 1959
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Our Customers Say:
…a great deal of the action was in front of our seats. Thanks for the upgrades they worked out very well.
—T. Tracy
Gravity Lounge Seating Chart, Map and Tickets
Charlottesville, Virginia
Gravity Lounge AddressGravity Lounge
103 S. 1st Street
Charlottesville, VA 22902
Directions to Gravity Lounge


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Originally written on Pro Sports Daily | Last updated 8/31/12
Wide receiver Kris Durham, a fourth-round pick in 2011 who has struggled with injuries, was among the Seahawks' roster cuts down to Friday's 75-player limit, according to The Seattle Times. Durham had three catches as a rookie before landing on injured reserve with a shoulder injury. He has been struggling to stay on the field this preseason as well, and was expected to miss the next two to three weeks.
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