text:
- Theodore A. Hoppe
- Montpelier, VT
- United States
This conversation is closed.
So, what is the purpose of men in modern families?
There are several Op-Ed debate in the New York Times asking, or attempting to answer, this question.
"In almost half the American households with children, mothers are the sole or primary breadwinners. This victory for working women shows evolving family economics — or maybe, two very different types of families.
So what is the purpose of men in modern families? We're approaching the holiday that celebrates dads, but do fathers bring anything unique to the table?"
Reference a TEDTalk that you have listen to on this topic if you can.
Jun 8 2013: If we have to ask such questions, does it suggest that evolution and biological absolutes are no longer fit to serve modern purpose? - and isn't that therefore devolution in paraphrase?
If gender difference no longer suits modern purposes and aspiration, then I suggest it is modern expectations that are flawed - not whether men themselves have purpose.
The health of the human race depends on the vitality and life-affirming quality of 'difference', not the muddy greyness of sameness and equality. To see someone comfortable in their own gender whilst having the greatest respect for their opposite, is a beautiful thing to behold - and I would go so far as to say it's what makes life worth living.
Jun 8 2013: What are "evolution and biological absolutes?"
I'm sure you have made a point here but I cannot decipher what it is so allow me to ask if you read any on the Op-Ed pieces.
Jun 9 2013: Hi Theodore, Perhaps "Imperatives" would have been a better word in the context of biology and evolution - I mean the imperative of male and female in the continuation and adaptation of species. I used "Absolute" in the philosophical sense: "...a value or principle which is regarded as universally valid..." (Dictionary definition).
I have read the OP-Ed pieces, and I must admit I went in as a sceptical male prepared to be savaged by modernist gender value systems - but came out, on balance, affirmed that my own gender may actually have purpose after all. And the only reason it may not, would only be as a result of the coveting of equality in materialistic/monetary terms (a superficial and contrived value system of our own making).
A thread running through the Op-Ed contributors seemed to me to be about what men 'should' be doing - a kind of prescriptive expectation of performance on an economic template, in which, if he did not match up, would be cast aside as being useless - and not a 'real man'.
It seems to me that a more enlightened form of equality would ensue anyway as a result of the removal of performance expectations under current economic criteria.
Jun 9 2013: Regarding "matching up" verse not being a "real man," is something Tony Porter TEDTalk adresses to some extent:
"Growing up as a boy, we were taught that men had to be tough, had to be strong, had to be courageous, dominating -- no pain, no emotions, with the exception of anger -- and definitely no fear; that men are in charge, which means women are not; that men lead, and you should just follow and do what we say; that men are superior; women are inferior; that men are strong; women are weak; that women are of less value, property of men, and objects, particularly sexual objects. I've later come to know that to be the collective socialization of men"
This might be viewed by some as the "traditional role" men held. Redefining the role might not be a bad idea.Jun 8 2013: Allan,
Your comment brings tears to my eyes....
."To see someone comfortable in their own gender whilst having the greatest respect for their opposite, is a beautiful thing to behold - and I would go so far as to say it's what makes life worth living."
What a wonderful world it would be:>)
Jun 9 2013: Colleen - do you think such a world is possible?
Jun 9 2013: Yes, I know it is possible, at least for some of us. Now....the question is....how many folks want to believe in it?Jun 8 2013: I guess some things have changed and some haven't
Only women can have babies, but we have contraception. There are trends towards equality of the sexes, legally and socially. More freedom for those in a family to work out their own dynamics or choose from a wider array of common options. Also perhaps a greater array of what constitutes a family.
A big change in the West and what I suggest is a major source of increased wealth is having dual incomes. In fact for many it is hard to get ahead now without dual incomes. Its almost a necessity.
Another has been increased education of women, more going to university, getting a career going, putting off having children.
I kind of like it being equals and having more options with less blowback rather than me Tarzan breadwinner and you Jane stay at home and have babies.Jun 9 2013: I love what you said. It's self-refuting, and I love self-refuting statements. Wisdom is self-refuting. Evolution IS biological absolute - "the only certain thing is change". Yes, sexes evolved to be different to create variety. But evolution also means continuous change, including change in relations between sexes.
Men are different from women biologically, so it seems, they should have different roles. But also, one woman is not like another woman, and one man is not like another man. So, how can we assign some fixed "role" for all men and another fixed "role" for all women? Isn't it "muddy greyness" to expect all women to be the same and all men to be the same?
It is, indeed, beautiful to see someone comfortable with their own identity, whatever it may be, even if this identity does not fit into a model set by society.
Colin Thomas
Jun 5 2013: The be mentally, phsically, spiritually and emotionally available to his partner, children and community.Jun 8 2013: I believe if we are ever going to have equal rights for men and women in the modern world, then traditional gender roles in the household must be completely abolished. What a man can do as a father and what a woman can do as a mother should be interchangeable between the two and they should be seen more as a team that is sharing the equal load of maintaining the household.
- +5
What I meant by biology was things like breastfeeding which is clearly something that a man cannot do.
Jun 8 2013: Where do we not have equal rights?
One of the ways that is often pointed to is in the area of equal pay for equal work.
"Even feminist economists acknowledge that today's pay disparities are almost entirely the result of women's different life choices—what they study in school, where they work, and how they balance home and career. This is not to deny that some employers will try to pay Jill 78 cents and Jack $1.00 for an identical job. But our strict laws give Jill the right to take that employer to court. The claim that American women as a group face systemic wage discrimination is groundless."
http://www.american.com/archive/2010/april/the-equal-pay-day-reality-checkJun 8 2013: Isn't equal rights more about people having and making real choices.
If people choose a sort of traditional approach rather than be forced it is just fine by me.
By that I mean they may choose for the women to be the primary care giver but the man would still change nappies and help out etc not a forced Victorian separation into man stuff and women stuff.
I'm fine if they choose some other way too and all parties reasonably happy.
I know some women who can't wait to get back to work after having a baby and others who are most happy being the primary caregiver.Jun 8 2013: It's sort of rare, but when I meet a man who shines in his manhood, it's a beautiful thing--and it has so many of the same characteristics of what we might call true womanhood: nurturing, kind, protective, thoughtful, strong, sure, generous, and positive.
Come to think of it, when people are truly connected to what it means to care for themselves and each other, we could say that these are the characteristics of:
Motherhood, fatherhood, brotherhood, sisterhood, childhood, neighbourhood... We are not so essentially different, when we are truly beautiful!
Jun 8 2013: I like your thinking.
In my study of relationship I have noticed a tendency toward individuality that leans itself toward a model of relationship that is based in the principles similar to social exchange theory. i. e. looking to get one's needs met in return for as little as possible.
A more positive model of relationship is where we "do other's," meaning gaining insight and thoughtfulness into the others real needs and not just our own.
Comment deleted
Jun 6 2013: Great points and so well written. I was trying to work out how I would comment, but you took the words right out of my mouth.Jun 5 2013: Theodore --
Though I've long been the breadwinner in my family, even before I became a single parent, I'm unsettled by this question.
While it's true modern familial contexts have changed, and thus, paternal roles would likely, too. It worries me that some are so naive or superficial to really think that fathers might not 'bring anything unique to the table.'
In any case, the lack of men as heads of many households shouldn't imply their lack of purpose -- which can be different for different families, but, in my view, is critical for serving as: leader, partner, lover and parent -- at the very least!
And, perhaps even more. As these favorite 'citizen fathers' I know, exemplify:
Jun 5 2013: I'm curious if you have watched the Ali Carr-Chalmers TED Talk were she references the 100 Girls Study?
Or the Zimbardo talk, "The Demise of Guys"?
Jun 7 2013: Ted,
I haven't seen the Ali Carr-Chalmers one, though it sounds interesting. But I have seen Zimbardo's. In fact, here's a TEDConversation I did related to it:
AndreaJun 19 2013: CLOSING STATEMENTS:
Allow me to express a heart felt "thank you" to all that took the time to explore this conversation, and especially to those of you that participated by sharing your thoughts and concerns.
When I first googled, "The Role of Men" I found that many of the link lead to site that had religious affiliations. There are few sites that take an academic perceptive, but I did manage to find a few that expressed some important points.
The first question we might ask is, "What has changed?"
"In a patriarchal society males enjoy a socially dominant position. Thus, from an early age, boys are helped to acquire a masculinity that allows them to assume and maintain that position. By the same token, girls are taught to cultivate a submissive femininity. The resulting difference in the male and female character is then described as inborn and used to defend the existing power arrangement. Only those who accept it are normal, and only they can expect to succeed. The male social role is designed to reward masculine men, while the female social role offers its relative advantages only to feminine women. (The aggressive man will run the bigger business; the pretty, agreeable woman will find the richer husband.)
In other words, masculinity and femininity are gender qualities which are developed in response to social discrimination. However, once they have been developed, they justify and cement it. The masculine and feminine gender roles mutually reinforce each other and thereby perpetuate the inequality on which they are based."
Mutual reinforcement is a key take away here; if it is a part of the problem it can serve as a part of the solution.
"Equality between women and men is recognized as a principle in international law, articulated in many United Nations documents from the 1948 Universal Declaration of Human Rights onwards. The idea that men and boys might have a specific role in realizing this principle has only been articulated recently"Jun 8 2013: For me,family is the center of my life,namely my purpose of life is to prosper my family. I say family is not the family confined in the house,just wife and kids,but a bloodline in my father,grandfather's side.Since my family as far as I know,has been crippled since grand,grandfather,I strive to terminate my family's ill fate.I study hard,struggle,toil on my own,enhance my own capability,is ultimately to fulfill my promise.
Also, I think educating my children,is a way of maintaining or pursuing prosperity.If I can not fulfill my promise,I will pass it down to my children,I will teach them to strive for the rise of our family.
I try hard to protect my family's pride and dignity,so my purpose is pursuing the rise my family,it is above anything.
Jun 9 2013: Jaden, you state that your family has been crippled since grand, grandfather.
What do you mean by this expression?
And what is different for you today than from your own father, to make you think that you can terminate your family's ill fate?
And one last question, what do you mean by ill fate?
Thank you Jaden for your reply to these questions whenever you may have time to answer. Mary
Jun 10 2013: Hi Mary,I will frankly answer your question although it concerns some sort of privacy.
ps:This is the link of English version My Country And My People. http://www.unz.org/Pub/LinYutang-1938 Hope you like it.I will certainly not miss The Good Earth.
Jun 10 2013: Hi Jaden, thank you for your candid reply.
This cultural situation of village life is a difficult situation to even imagine in a city such as the one I live, because many times we do not even know our neighbor's name.
Here people move easily from one city to another, or from one state to another, and they start a new life with new friends and a new job. Of course, our economy now is not so good, so it is not easily done. But it is possible.
I think perhaps I did not realize how important this 'rise of family' drive is in your culture.
It is sad to read of your grandfather's experience.
In The Good Earth the main character goes back to his village, and ends up buying all the land that was once owned by the richest family. And eventually he buys the home, with it's many courts, and his male children and grandchildren all live together there.
His one daughter disappears from the story. She joins her husband family.
He goes from being a poor farmer, to being a wealthy respected man.
My question now is. Do you feel that all Chinese young men also feel like you?
Or do you think perhaps the adversity in your past has affected your outlook on life?
What kinds of stories have you been able to hear from your college friends? Do they study with the same pressure as yours? (I am so very curious)
And I want to thank you for the link to My Country and My People.
I will start reading it today.
I started a biography last night of a Columbian author. It is part of a trilogy.
It will be interesting to learn about two cultures at once.
Talk to you soon, MaryJun 10 2013: Mary,no worries,I am not fully identified in TED,so it won't affect me much.I will erase the certain portions,so I will feel securer,thank you for your advice.
Actually,I am not too ashamed when talk about my family,that's the fact,I have to face up to it.My path of life,is what I call my destiny.
This longing for 'rise of family' is the result of various factors,culture,personality,circumstance,education,etc.Hence,not every young man feels the same.I think this is pretty common in the world,every country has the rich and the poor,some are born in upper class families,they could't feel a consciousness that there is a path from the bottom to the top.Some may received little love from their family,their view of 'rise of family' restrained.Also,some, led by the values they are taught,the education they received,their aspirations differ.
I think adversity and suffering is necessary,people get maturer and tougher through the tests.Those who grow up in a favorable condition,rarely confront any difficulty,are more likely to quit when things get tougher.In the long run,I definitely appreciate adversity.What do you think about pressure or adversity in life?Do you intentionally give your children some this kind of tasks?
So I've answered your questions above,due to the culture,especially Confucianism,the majority of Chinese are family-oriented,longing for family prosperity first.
I wonder,Mary,you are a teacher,and a mother,probably a helper for many people,how could you manage enough to time to read,do you read books fast?I found reading needs much concentration,it takes me a few days to finish a book.
Jun 11 2013: I think you are correct in stating that adversity and suffering is sometimes necessary to build character traits in individuals. Endurance, patience, long-suffering, steadfastness, and a certain degree of insight and wisdom as well as maturity may very well be fine outcomes of trials and tribulations.
How do I manage to read? I read early in the morning, before anyone awakes, and late into the night. Also, I make time throughout the day....10 minutes here and there. If I am reading something really interesting, I will keep the book with me always....and I will even read it when I am at a red light. I am kind of an avid reader. It is my favorite thing to do, next to talking to other people. It also depends on the book....It is something that came with time. I wasn't always like this. It took many years of practice, you know what they say, practice makes perfect!
What's the worst book you have ever read? And the best?
[edited spelling]Jun 12 2013: I did not realize how important books in our life until enter into university.We do not have time to read extra books in high school here.Every Chinese student has to strive for College Entrance Test,which literally determines our career,even our life.So we nearly put all eggs in one basket in 12 years' study,for one last future-determining test.Positively,it is the fairest game in our life,whereby most students climb from the bottom to the top,turn around family's fate.It takes place on June 7 and 8 each year.
Actually,I have no idea what is the worst book I have ever read,I just forgot those books didn't make any sense to me.But I do remember many books that are impressive and beneficial.Like Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist,which attracts me by the culture of Mediterranean and Spanish.And Paulo depicts what a destiny is,how destiny guides the boy,I like the word 'destiny'.And a book called Zeng Guofan's Family Letters,Zeng Guofan,a renowned sage in 1800s,who proclaims study,self-discipline,pure proposition,family maintenance in the book,this book influences me the most. I think Lean In is a remarkable also,which is not designed only for women as it looks,I learned a lot.So,what about you,what kind of difference that books make in your life?
I haven't reach a position where I can read books like you,your way of reading like a drunk longing for alcohol,haha! I admire that,I think I can practice your way.Yes,practice,also I found need quite a repetition to truly digest a book which has valuable knowledge.
Jun 12 2013: There is quite a bit of writing about all topics, including the one in this discussion...the role of men in modern families.
Have you read the links that Mr. Hoppe provided on top?
They will give you a good idea as to the diversity of thinking here in the United States.
On another line of thought, I think that it is interesting that our philosophy of life is oftentimes someone else's philosophy first......we just take on what appeals to us personally.
Books are indeed powerful, because they shape us......in a way.
I have heard of the Alchemist, but I have not read it. And Zeng Guofan's Family Letters sounds very interesting.
Are you familiar with Carl Jung? I think perhaps my next reading will be some of his work.
Your portrait of me as a drunk longing for a book as if it were alcohol is very funny.
When I have been very busy with school, and I know my time is so short for reading, I have to do this carrying around of the book.......here in the United States, whenever you see a man walking around with a small paper bag in one hand, and drinking from a substance inside, you know he is probably a drunk,......and inside the paper bag is an alcoholic drink, usually a beer. So after reading your statement I pictured myself with a book inside a paper bag, and looking inside the bag with ravenous eyes wanting to absorb the words inside......
Perhaps because words pack much force, many harsh governments censor what can be given to the people to read? The written word is indeed powerful.
To answer your question, about the difference that books, or for that matter, any writing, have made in my life, I would have to say that it has helped me see the points of view of others. And this has contributed to my feeling a need for undestanding my fellow human.
It has helped me see the importance of good communication.
And to ask questions first, and not just assume you understand others by reading a few words.
Are there any editorials in Chinese newspapers?Jun 13 2013: Hi Mary,what do you mean in first paragraph?
I can't open that link,New York Times was blocked here not long ago.
I didn't know him before you mentioned here.So,he was a expert in psychology?
It's interesting men have to hide the alcoholic drink in the paper bag?
I think people in different stage of life have different purposes on reading.For me,I am lacking in life experiences,knowledge,so I try to absorb information that providing these stuff by reading books.So,book equals knowledge,in my perspective.But,for people like you,maybe,you already have the knowledge that books provide,right?Or,you have confidence in your own way of life,but like to hear different opinions?
Yes,many influential newspapers have editorials.They always stand up for government's sake,not for the average people.Because of their overwhelming influence,every single editorial fuels controversy among the scholars and media,especially when it comes to politics.
Jun 13 2013: Hi Jaden, what I meant by my first paragraph, is that there are alot of books written about men in this country.
I hope you can open the link :/
And there are books also for women, probably more than for men.
Carl Jung was an interesting individual. He was a Swiss psychiatrist and psychotherapist.I do not know much about him, but I am very familiar with his quotes. So I will read and find out now about the man behind the quotes.
Perhaps you can search online when you have time and also learn?
You said, "for people like you, maybe, you already have the knowledge that books provide, right?"
My reply..........wrong!!
I am learning also Jaden. For me, books allow me to focus on one subject and helps with the research of on subject. But there are many books, and each one gives a different perspective...........so there is alot of reading to do.
Ultimately though, it comes down to us.
What do I personally think.
I read to learn, and to form an educated decision.
But I am aware that even then, I may still be missing something!
So, best to always keep an open mind. :)
As for editorials in your country.........well, I am not surprised.
Here editorials do not always stand up for the government.
And they always fuel controversy like in your country.
It is just too bad you cannot open the link to the articles in the New York times.
They are absolutely wonderful.Jun 13 2013: I can open the link.Only those giant websites containing political standpoints are blocked,or potentially with politically divergences with the government,like facebook,twitter,youtube,google,etc.Anyway,fortunately I don't need these.
'open mind',I see you use 'open mind' quite a lot,I absolutely agree.Thank you Mary,I will never forget it after talking to you.
It's just early morning in your country now?
Thank you for the wonderful conversations,Mary.Since I joined the TED community,you are the one I talk with the most,have fantastic exchanges with you.
I will definitely see you in other conversations,I see you in many conversations.
Be well
Jun 13 2013: Yes it is early morning here........I am trying to listen to the quiet of the morning....bird songs....but the gardeners just started mowing the grass........oh what luck!!!
I jump around conversations alot.....I try to keep my contributions light.....I am no expert in any particular field....except in elementary education.......but I do read alot, and love to talk.
I steer clear of political and deep science topics.....not well informed in either.
Also, it is a shame you cannot open youtube. Mr. Hoppe posted a wonderful talk on being a man. I am going to try and find a way to get the transcript of that talk to you Jaden.
Be Well,
MaryJun 13 2013: Thanks,Mary,I will be waiting for the transcript.
It is late night here,I need to go to bed.
You have a good day.
Jun 16 2013: Jaden, see if you can watch the talk through this back door site.....
Let me know:
http://www.coachforamerica.com/meet-joe/videos-of-joeJun 16 2013: Hi,Mary,thanks,I can open the link,but can't watch the video.There are PDFs available,are they the transcripts of the videos?
Like it one:
Jun 17 2013: Hi Jaden, I just wanted you to know that I filled out a form to try and get the talk posted to TED.
If it comes through, you'll be able to see it, I think?
I will continue to google search for a transcript of the talk....so far, the only transcript available is the one youtube did.....but it is really really poor....lots of words missing and wrong words typed.
I copy pasted it to word, so that I could send it to you, but it was so poor, that it did not do the talk justice.
I am not giving up. But this conversation is about to close, so I will contact you through another post somewhere else.Jun 18 2013: Yes,I can see any video on TED. I'm going to find out how it functions that TEDster can fill out a form to get a talk posted to TED,this seems quite fascinating.
Thanks for your work,Mary,I'm getting more curious about the talk,I'm waiting,I wish I can see it on TED talks soon.Jun 8 2013: Theodore.
This question you ask makes me want to say, what is the purpose for anything? If a man is there then, he has purpose. You only need to justify his presence. This is a personal situation, and therefore many justifiable arguments can be applied. You use the word Purpose, perhaps it is, ROLE the word that you might want to use.
Jun 8 2013: I had the same thought. Perhaps, "role" is a better word to use in this question. People in the same role may have all kinds of different purposes.Jun 8 2013: Vincenzo and Arkady,
I agree....people in the same role may have all kinds of different purposes, which is why I used the word "role" in my first comment on this thread:>)Jun 7 2013: Hi Theodore,
I believe the purpose of family members is to support and encourage each other. For generations, there have been stereotypical "roles" for men and women in a family. The woman took care of the kids, and she was supposed to be the emotional supporter of the family. The man was supposed to be the financial supporter of the family. Men were often taught not to be too emotional, and women were often taught to stay in the kitchen and take care of everyone.
You may know that not too long ago, there was a law on the Vermont books which clearly said the wife was the property of the husband, and he had the right, under the law, to whip and shoot her for certain offences. Finally, that law was removed, but the paradigm shift in society takes a very long time. There is a sociological term for this, that I don't remember at the moment.
We are now talking publically about abuse. The roles of men and women are changing, with more and more women in the work force, and more stay at home dads. We are ALL (both men and women) capable of sharing many of the same roles, and I think it may still be difficult for some people to accept and appreciate this, so with some people, the shift is causing stress, distress, discomfort, frustration, etc.
You write..."In almost half the American households with children, mothers are the sole or primary breadwinners. This victory for working women....."
I don't honestly see it as a "victory" for women. To me, it demonstrates that women CAN be the breadwinner, and men CAN share the emotional support of the family. I have been told by some men in conversations about this topic, that some men feel threatened by the evolution of women. What do you think about this Theodore?
Jun 7 2013: I linked this to several talks.
Ali Carr Chellman mentions "The Hundred Girls Project tells us some really nice statistics. For example, for every 100 girls that are suspended from school, there are 250 boys that are suspended from school. For every 100 girls who are expelled from school, there are 335 boys who are expelled from school. For every 100 girls in special education, there are 217 boys. For every 100 girls with a learning disability, there are 276 boys. For every 100 girls with an emotional disturbance diagnosed, we have 324 boys. And by the way, all of these numbers are significantly higher if you happen to be black, if you happen to be poor, if you happen to exist in an overcrowded school. And if you are a boy, you're four times as likely to be diagnosed with ADHD -- Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
Philip Zimbardo says, "Guys are flaming out academically; they're wiping out socially with girls and sexually with women."
"What's the evidence of wiping out? First, it's a new fear of intimacy. Intimacy means physical, emotional connection with somebody else -- and especially with somebody of the opposite sex who gives off ambiguous, contradictory, phosphorescent signals."
"The only people who should care about this is parents of boys and girls, educators, gamers, filmmakers and women who would like a real man who they can talk to, who can dance, who can make love slowly and contribute to the evolutionary pressures to keep our species above banana slugs."Jun 8 2013: Re: "I don't honestly see it as a "victory" for women. To me, it demonstrates that women CAN be the breadwinner, and men CAN share the emotional support of the family."
I had the same thought, Coleen. It's great that women CAN be the sole bread winner, but it's not so great when women HAVE TO work as much as or more than men. The "victory" seems to be bitter-sweet. In modern economy, the "right" to work for women slowly transformed into the "necessity" to work.
Jun 8 2013: Good point Arkady:>)Jun 8 2013: That is a quote from the Times. It is not my personal view.Jun 19 2013: The second question I will pose is, "What has to change."
I hope that others will look at this report and give some thought to its goals:
"The Role of Men and Boys in Achieving Gender Equality"
Gender relations are an interactive system of connections and distinctions among
people (and groups of people) – what happens to one group in this system affects the
others, and is affected by them;
· Gender relations are not superficial, but are deeply embedded in organizational
routines, in religious and legal concepts, and in the taken-for-granted arrangements of
people's lives (such as the distinction between "home" and "work");
· Gender relations are multi-dimensional, interweaving relationships of power,
economic arrangements, emotional relationships, systems of communication and
meaning, etc.;
· Gender systems are diverse and changing – they arise from different cultural histories
in different parts of the world, have changed in the past and are undergoing change
now (Connell 2002; Ferree et al. 1999; Holter 1997; Walby 1996).
It has been a privilege to host this discussion. I have learned, listened, grown, and shared. Thank you again!Jun 16 2013: Last Continuation of previous post (sorry for the length...I am just rather passionate about this topic):
The role of the father is to help their children develop, grow and flourish mentally, intellectually, spiritually, and socially just as the mother does. It is not until we reach a point that the prevailing opinion on our society supports this fact that we will have true gender equality in the family. It is becoming more and more supported that women can be the breadwinner, as it should be, but now we also need to accept the fact that fathers can and should play the same role in their children's development as the mother. Gender equality is only equality when gender does not come into the equation at all.
Jun 16 2013: Excellent essay.
I applaud your effort and thank you for contributing to this discussion
. .
Jun 17 2013: " Gender equality is only equality when gender does not come into the equation at all. " One of the wisest statements, and one which my father said slightly differently, to me when I was a child; " Everyone is equal and gender doesn't come into the equation at all."
- +1
Bravo Michael!!Jun 18 2013: Well said but what about when the roles are provided by two men or two women? In this case is there an equality as well?
Jun 18 2013: I would be tempted to say that there would be sex equality because biological sex is obviously not playing a role in the division of labor. There may or may not be gender equality. That would be dependent on the individual situation and on if one of the two partners has assumed a different gender identity than the other in the construct of the masculine or the feminine. However, for true equality these gender constructs need to be deconstructed. If labor is broken down without thought to gender roles (or another other type of societal categorization) or based on skill than I would consider that equality.
Thanks for taking the time to ask a question James. I enjoy the discussion.Jun 8 2013: Should we ask this question? Do we need to fit ourselves and each other into preconceived molds? Wouldn't this question inevitably lead to sexism, no matter how we answer it?
It seems to me that we live in an age when boundaries and identities of all kinds blend together. E.g., ethnic background and citizenship do not matter much. People from all over the world live and work all over the world. Women serve as CEO of multinational corporations and heads of governments. U.S. military opened combat positions for women in January 2013. In many countries, a "family" no longer means a union between a man and a woman.
Many women don't like to clean the house, cook, do the laundry, and babysit children. They envision themselves as professionals. Why not? Why should they be forced into some "role" that we see for them? Same applies to men. There are many men who work as nurses and elementary school teachers. Why not?
Usually, when I'm told that "man is supposed to be strong" or "man is supposed to be the head of the family" it usually means that I don't measure up to these stereotypes. So what?
I suggest not to bother ourselves and those around us with such questions and just be who and what we are.
Jun 8 2013: I'm not sure if the term "preconceived molds" equates the conditioning we have experienced that results in the models we create.
The problem may be that we have unconsciously created dysfunctional models. And as we know, we resist changing our schema.
If we have a girl baby wrapped in a baby blanket, generally speaking, what color is the blanket?
Social psychology plays a role here.
Jun 8 2013: Re: "The problem may be that we have unconsciously created dysfunctional models. And as we know, we resist changing our schema."
We need models to predict what we don't know. But all models are limited. We must understand the limits of our models to realize when they do not apply. What makes models dysfunctional is applying them to situations and people that don't fit in these models. This is when models fail to predict and may cause harm.Jun 9 2013: "We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore."
― Mark TwainJun 8 2013: Arkady and Theodore,
Pat Heim, PhD, confirms this point in her book "Hardball for Women"....."winning at the game of business".
When we are born, baby boys are wrapped in a blue blanket, and girls are wrapped in a pink blanket, and from that day on, are treated differently.
So, in a way, society DOES mold us (or tries to) into what is expected of a girl/woman or boy/man.
Jun 8 2013: Babies are colour coded for efficiency sake. I don't think it as any real impact on the babies. When family go to look at their babies, if they know it's a girl, look for pink.
The business industry via advertisement mold our thinking in most western countries. There are pockets of culture distributed through out every country, where the social structure is an established method of social interaction. Some of these systems we can escape from. Others, are not so easy, such as Islamic social structures, where women are considered nothing more than breeding stock and pleasure apparatus for males.
In the US, there is no cultural role model alignment that is central to the American Society, other than Judao-Christan ideals.
If women want to wing the game of business, they need to entrench themselves in the Advertisement industry and recreate the models of women presented to society. But, they usually go for the money instead and continue the status-qua. In this regard they are no different than men.
After we have lost a few hundred females in hard combat in military service, it will be interesting to see how role models change.
Jun 8 2013: According to research AND reality John Moonstroller, it DOES indeed have an impact.
You say....."Islamic social structures, where women are considered nothing more than breeding stock and pleasure apparatus for males."
You also write..."After we have lost a few hundred females in hard combat in military service, it will be interesting to see how role models change."
We HAVE lost females in combat......females who were fighting alongside males who were/are raping them.......think about your comments John.Jun 9 2013: Re: "Others, are not so easy, such as Islamic social structures, where women are considered nothing more than breeding stock and pleasure apparatus for males."
Can it be that this is a stereotype created by Western propaganda to think that all Muslims treat women like this? We hear these stories about Taliban to justify continued war in Eastern countries. I have a suspicion that it's not true of Muslims in general.Jun 9 2013: It's true, Colleen.
When my kids were babies, I consciously dressed and wrapped them in primary colors. And no matter where I was, the very first question was: is it a boy or a girl? So regardless of the color-coding, people want to categorize their behavior based on gender.
Paul Lillebo
Jun 8 2013: "In almost half the American households with children, mothers are the sole or primary breadwinners. This victory for working women..." Is this somebody's idea of a joke? The abandoned single mother, so common in poverty-ridden neighborhoods, is a victory for working women? The notion is bizarre.
- +2
About "the purpose of men:" This is a lot like asking about the purpose of life. Just as there can be no "purpose of life" in the abstract - you have to deal with the purposes of a specific life - there is no such thing as the "purpose of men" in general, even within a family. The purposes (or roles, functions, aims, goals) of Bill in his family and other relationships are up to Bill and those he interacts with. They will certainly vary over time, and will probably not be the same as Joe's. But Bill, like everyone, may be better off not worrying about his "purpose," but work on spreading joy.
Jun 8 2013: The abandoned single mother is the bubble men get put in when there is a split in a family. This is not always the case. I believe it is wrong for either gender to walk out of a family, stonewalling one parent or abandoning the whole family is wrong. The bonding agent just doesn't seem to be there anymore statistically speaking for self-centered reasons. However, males are always the perpetrators in the beginning. A male with poverty level income loses everything in the present court system as he is told, "put your money where your mouth is" by a judge..Jun 6 2013: Sperm. Friendship. Love. Protection. Money. Change light bulbs.
Jun 6 2013: Not only is your answer a good one.
But you relayed it in 'typical' male fashion.
Short and to the point.
At least that is how my husband communicates.
Thanks Obey.
Jun 8 2013: I couldn't help myself. I just changed the kitchen sink tap. Very proud male moment when it worked without leaking.
Seriously while there are probably cultural/societal patterns, and biological conditions (men can not get pregnant and have babies) a lot of the role of men and women, heterosexual, homosexual or other in a family or relationship contexts is up to the individuals to figure out themselves.
Families today can mean a wide range of situations. Single parent, same sex, extended etc.
I guess if the parties involved care for each other and work together towards healthy happy children or whatever reasonable goals it is all good.Jun 6 2013: Best gift a father can give his children. Is loving their mother...
From my own personal experience, My Dad (he was born in 1929) role was the supportive parent, he was caring, nurturing and loving. He cooked, cleaned, bathed kids, baked, worked our farm and had a full time job. My Mother did the same. They also had 10 children.
My father was the conversation, the hug and the shoulder. He set the bar for the men my brothers are and the men my sisters and I would marry.
Fathers are amazing, whether they work or choose to stay home. Even if you don't stay married, it doesn't mean the role of the father changes or becomes less (because then you would be a dead beat Dad and that is no ones fault but your own)Jun 5 2013: The fact that one parent of either sex can support a child is true. It does not make it a good family model.
Here are some things fathers bring to the table:
1) Usually financial support, some or all depending on the ability of the mother to earn money and the willingness of the mother to sacrifice time with the child for life style. In some families, the same can be said for the decision for the father to work vs raise children. Having two parents that can work decreases the dependency (and usually the stress) on the working parent. If both can work, it potentially increases family wealth.
2) Security. Have a male in the house generally causes children and perhaps women to feel less vulnerable to outside physical threats. To fight and protect as require to ensure the family's safety.
3) A male perspective on situations and life, and serve as a male role model.
4) Contributions to household chores, maintenance items, emergencies, and resolving unexpected situations.
5) To teach children how males and females can interact peacefully and live life together.
6) To teach children,particularly young males, life skills that might help them survive.
7) To be advocates for their children as they mature with other people and society.
8) To be a living insurance plan, back-up plan, or Plan B when things do not go right or the unexpected happens. Dads are usually pretty good at getting out of trouble and minimizing the effects of bad events that have occurred.
9) To provide structure, discipline, stability and progressive maturity development for children.
10) To show children how to enjoy life and survive.
There are many more.
Dads are not perfect. They often fall short in many of the above. Most try and do the best they can at these things even though they may not be appreciated, respected, understood, or even wanted in some instances.
Not all stand and deliver. Some leave. Some think a child's life is better without them. Some fail.
All are human.
Fritzie -
Jun 5 2013: Both parents model attitudes and choices for the youngsters in the family. At the very least, each models uniqueness as an individual, but our biological differences suggest that we also behave in a different context. Dad may sometimes have greater insight into what son might be feeling or struggling with, for example, for having gone through life so far as a male.
- +2
My eldest children are daughters and my youngest a son. As i grew up with no brothers and therefore did not even watch a boy growing up, much less live that journey myself, I picked up a book that had been recommended to me about raising boys. Most of what raising children involves is, I think, quite indifferent to gender, but I was seeking any special insight of which I might be unaware- special developmental issues.
The book I read, which gave me useful perspective and which I recommend if it has not yet fallen into the path of your research is called The Wonder of Boys, by Michael Gurian.Jun 5 2013: Hi Theodore,
what an interesting topic!
I feel very fortunate that my husband and I are working together to raise our kids. We work hard at our relationship, and value each other highly in our relationship. Often times, our gender-specific roles sort of take over - I cook, I wash, I nurture. He mows the lawn, he fixes the roof, he rough-houses with the kids. Other times, our roles feel opposite. I take the trash to the dump, he vacuums the house. No matter what we do, though, we are very much a team, a unit, and our children perceive us as that. But, they also have the space to develop their own personal relationships with both of us.
I see change in society when it comes to modern men. The 'Metro Man' or 'metrosexual', for example, comes to mind:
Also, on the rare occasions that I watch TV, I see quite a lot of cooking shows which are hosted by or incorporate men, from baking cakes to bread to gourmet meals. And at the same time, there are violent protests in some parts of the world about accepting homosexuals males. On the one hand, society seems to be pressuring men to be more 'feminine', but on the other, they still need to watch the football game and do the barbeque. It's confusing for everyone.The media seems to promote a merging of the two genders, or even a switch.


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ST. LOUIS - John B. Shields, M.D., a clinical professor of radiology and former department chair at Saint Louis University School of Medicine, died Dec. 23 after a long illness. He was 79.
|John B. Shields, M.D.
Shields had been a member of the Saint Louis University family for 57 years. Born in Butte, Mont., he received his medical degree from Saint Louis University in 1957 and joined the faculty 43 years ago. Originally, Shields had trained at SLU to be a cardiothoracic surgeon and but changed his specialty to radiology when he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.
"Dr. Shields was a man of deep honesty, sincerity and conviction who spoke his mind freely without fear of criticism or ridicule," said Michael Wolverson, M.D., chair of the department of radiology who worked closely with Shields from more than 30 years.
"His style as chairman was primarily as a clinically active radiologist working on the front line with his residents and faculty. In this way, he knew firsthand all the issues affecting his department. He was devoid of personal ambition other than to be of service to his department, the University and in nurturing the careers of his faculty and residents."
Shields, who was director of the radiology training program from 1977 to 1994 and from 2001 to 2004, had a keen ability to spot the talent of future radiologists.
"His insight into the potential and motivation of resident applicants was occasionally at odds with the radiology resident selection committee," Wolverson said.
"He often recognized that applicants from remote communities, often without the strongest academic credentials, would strive to succeed and take their expertise back to the communities from which they came. He insisted that a number of such applicants be accepted for training."
Passionate about teaching, Shields was both the toughest professor and the professor who taught students most, said Edward O'Brien, M.D., adjunct professor of radiology at Saint Louis University and the first resident he trained. Their relationship as teacher and student evolved through the years to that of colleagues and friends.
"Everybody remembers Dr. Shields and learned a lot from him. He was a disciplinarian, humble but proud," O'Brien said.
"He was very stern and a little bit intimidating. As time went on and his residents grew into the radiology specialty, he became more of a peer. He was in his element when he was sitting with residents and teaching residents."
B. Kirke Bieneman, M.D., assistant professor of radiology, said Shields led by example. He liked to come in early and work hard, seldom called in sick and had a heart of gold.
"He had high expectations for the people who worked with him and inspired them to do their best," Bieneman said. "He is someone who has been a fixture in this department as long as I can remember. He will be missed by hundreds of residents who trained under him."
Shields joined the radiology department as an instructor in 1978, after completing his resident training in radiology at Saint Louis University Hospital. He served as chairman of the department of radiology from 1978 to 1994, and subsequently was a professor in the department.
He became a staff radiologist at Saint Louis University Hospital in 1967. He also was a staff radiologist at SSM St. Mary's Health Center from 1967 to 1972; chief of radiology service at John Cochran and Jefferson Barracks divisions of St. Louis Veterans Hospitals from 1968 to 1978; and a staff radiologist at St. Louis Veterans Administration Hospitals from 1994 to 1997.
Shields was a member of numerous professional organizations including the Radiological Society of North America, American Roentgen Ray Society, Society for Magnetic Resonance Imaging and International Society for Magnetic Resonance in Medicine. He also served as president of the Missouri State Radiological Society.
Shields was the husband of the late Audrey Ann Shields (nee Voss); father of Kevin (Deb) and Edward; and grandfather of Noah and Hannah.
Visitation will be from 3 to 8 p.m. Friday, Jan. 7 at Bopp Chapel, 10610 Manchester Road in Kirkwood. The funeral Mass will be at 10 a.m. Saturday, Jan. 8 at Mary Queen of Peace, 676 W. Lockwood Ave., in Webster Groves.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be sent to the John B. Shields, M.D., and Louise Marshall Scholarship Fund at Saint Louis University or to the St. Labre Indian School in Ashland, Mont. 59004.

subset: commoncrawl


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Haunted Halloween Registry Ideas (Scan It Saturdays)
Halloween is here! Celebrate the spooky season with festive registry items that will carry you through the fall. These ghoulish mugs and a black cast-iron pot will remind you of items you'll find in a witches lair but can be reused even after October 31st.
1 of 5
Festive NapkinsCloth napkins are great for formal dinner parties and special occasions. These iconic Halloween-inspired ones can be used year after year.
Halloween spider napkins, $49 for set of 4, Williams-Sonoma.com
2 of 5
Ghoulish MugsThe dark colors are a staple for fall -- serve your guests from a tray filled with mugs of hot apple cider.
Pick Me Up mugs with tray, $20, CrateandBarrel.com for stores
3 of 5
Black Cast-Iron PotAn enamel cast-iron pot is perfect for big batches of fall soup or even festive Halloween punch. It retains heat well, making it great for going straight from oven to table. Bonus: This one's large enough to serve chili to the entire neighborhood.
Le Creuset enameled cast-iron 7 1/4-quart round French oven, $280, Amazon.com
4 of 5
Devilish Bottle OpenerIf you plan on serving craft brews at your Halloween party, you'll need a bottle opener. This one sets the mood for mischief.
Alessi ABC01 Diabolix bottle opener, $16, VelocityArtandDesign.com
5 of 5
Modern GobletsGet crystal glassware like this (that isn't too Halloween-specific) and use it at all your fall and winter parties.
Baccarat Mille Nuit stemware, from $125, Macys.com


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WrestlingNerd here once again. Today I'd like to chat a little about WWE's roster. It's sort of alarming right now and I hope Triple H is really good at what he's doing up in the talent development department (his new job), because by the looks of this roster, WWE needs a bunch of new stars to be developed pretty quickly. I'm going to take a look at the top stars of both brands and add my own analysis
Updated 08-13-2011 at 05:06 AM by WrestlingNerd
In a little more than forty eight hours the biggest party of the summer is set to kick off. SummerSlam comes to us live from The Staples Center in Los Angeles. Yet will it really the biggest party of the summer? While Raw ratings continue to disappoint from a business standpoint, there has to be some concern over how successful SummerSlam will be. I myself am intrigued enough from the Cena/Punk
Updated 08-12-2011 at 02:07 PM by The Dusty Finish
Hey guys hope all is well. I admit I wouldn't have blogged about this until I seen a user comment on this blog stating that the Miz was the next John Cena. I don't remember their username but credit goes to you. I always agreed from Day 1 that The Miz had the charisma to be one of the top babyfaces whenever he makes that face turn.
Lets point out some similarities.
This blog is about the X Division in Impact Wrestling and I'll have upcoming blogs like this with WWE also once a week.
Lets go back in the days when the X Division was the real deal with the likes of Low Ki , Sonjay Dutt , Jay Lethal , Sabu , Psicosis , Petey Williams and loads more . But no one can or should forget the 5-Star rated match AJ Styles vs Christopher Daniels vs Samoa
Hello readers of this site. I'm the WrestlingNerd and I'll be making my first blog about the future of the WWE legend known as the Undertaker. Now, it's no secret that the Undertaker is nearing the end of his career and is in pretty poor physical condition. I'd say he has one good match left in him, but after that, it's fair to say that the gas has finally ran out of his tank. I don't see the Undertaker
Updated 08-11-2011 at 08:58 PM by WrestlingNerd
How will Hulk Hogan be remembered? His legacy is something I have wondered about recently as the man has received more and more negative press. So much so that it will no doubt have to feature in how he is remembered.
The good of Hulk Hogan is that he was the person the wwf was able to build its company around that allowed them to become a mainstream organisation and grow and grow.
Updated 08-11-2011 at 10:22 PM by Frank
This is my subjective ranking, thus there is no right or wrong answers. For each wrestler I'll explain why I would see them return, and outline a possible plothook for them. And lastly the likelihood of a return, ranket from * ("No chance in hell") to ***** ("The stars are right")
I have not ranked any wrestlers where injuries or similar circumstances make it
OK then, first one of these...errm....yes....right. A lot of you may not know of this show and may have only just heard of the company from their USA branch but Dragon gate also likes to claim that they have a UK branch, which mean that every now and then, they remember when they visited that dreary bankarupt rock next to Europe and it actually went quite well, so they wander over for a couple of
I didn't want to voice my opinion directly after this happened because there was too much unknowns. We still don't know what happens at Summerslam but a lot has been built off the MITB PPV. I was there live and it was the first ever live ppv I went to.
The journey begins with a smooth ride all the way to Mannheim road. Several locals decided to turn around from the heavy traffic.
Hey guys, first blog here, just wanted to post my thoughts on The WWE Divas, i think some of these girls are completely capable of carrying the womens division if given half a chance.
A.J - Obviously very new but huge potential, really reminds me of mickie james which is a good thing, and obviously should have won NXT season 3.
Beth Phoenix - Top superstar!
© 2011 eWrestlingNews, All Rights Reserved.


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Deeplinks Blog posts about WIPO
Member states of the United Nations concluded the draft of an international treaty this week that gives people with visual and reading disabilities better access to copyrighted works. The treaty comes as the result of collective efforts to carve out protections for the blind and reading disabled that faced years of resistance from rightsholder industries. Drafting efforts spanned nearly a decade at the UN World Intellectual Property Organization (WIPO), culminating in a final session in Marrakesh, Morocco running from June 17 until they finalized the treaty on Tuesday.
How the US Trade Rep Ratchets Up Worldwide Copyright Laws That Could Keep Your Devices Locked Forever
This month, the former U.S. Assistant Secretary of Commerce Bruce Lehman, sometimes referred to as the architect of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act ("DMCA"), spoke at a Silicon Valley conference that brought copyright experts together to discuss the impact of that law 15 years later.
At the conference, Lehman admitted the law was the product of a deliberate end-run around the democratic process. Lehman was an advocate for several hardline proposals to criminalize digitial rights management (DRM) circumvention. Unable to sell the proposals domestically, Lehman pressed the Office of the U.S. Trade Representative (USTR) to propose them at the UN World Intellectual Property Organization (WIPO) instead. Many have accused Lehman of using the treaty process to avoid Congress. What was Lehman's response to those accusations at the event? "I would say that they're right."
After four years of intense negotiation and ongoing pressure from civil society, country members of the World International Intellectual Property Organization (WIPO) moved to set a diplomatic conference in June 2013 to sign a treaty that will standardize cross-border rights for the blind and people with visual disabilities.
Treaty for the Blind: A Watered Down Agreement Moves Forward at the World Intellectual Property Organization
Last Friday, the World Intellectual Property Organization's (WIPO) 185 country-members concluded another round of negotiations on exceptions and limitations for the blind and persons with printing disabilities. However, they did not reach a consensus on many of its most contentious issues, such as allowing exports of adapted works across borders and circumventing technological protection measures to enable accessibility. People with hearing disabilities were also written out of the draft. In addition, US negotiators were able to block exceptions and limitations for audiovisual works, under the pressure of MPAA. Who loses? All of us, but especially the 285 million visually impaired people in the world.
This week, the World Intellectual Property Organization (WIPO) is hosting the 25th Session of the Standing Committee on Copyright and Related Rights (SCCR/25). The agenda is focused, as it should be, on finalizing a longstanding discussion: the need for an international instrument to protect the rights of visually impaired persons and persons with print disabilities. Copyright protections create barriers for people with disabilities, yet big publishers continue to block efforts to create exceptions to remedy the problem even as hundreds of millions of people would stand to benefit worldwide.
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Roadkill Forcing Cliff Swallows To Evolve 387 387
Posted by Unknown Lamer
from the also-evolved-laser-eyes dept.
from the also-evolved-laser-eyes dept.
sciencehabit writes "Cliff swallows that build nests that dangle precariously from highway overpasses have a lower chance of becoming roadkill than in years past thanks to a shorter wingspan that lets them dodge oncoming traffic. That's the conclusion of a new study based on 3 decades of data collected on one population of the birds. The results suggest that shorter wingspan has been selected for over this time period because of the evolutionary pressure put on the population by cars."


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NIH study shows late Chargers standout had symptoms of CTE
Number of former players who have sued the NFL over the issue of concussions
Eight months after his death, a study of Junior Seau's brain revealed the beloved former Charger suffered from a debilitating brain disease that may have contributed to personality changes and may have been a factor in his suicide.
"It certainly does provide the largest piece of the puzzle of all the whys we went through eight months ago," said Gina Seau, Junior's ex-wife. "It certainly explains a lot of his behaviors in the last several years."
Seau's family donated his brain for study by the National Institutes of Health, which released a statement Thursday describing its findings.
Neuropathologists examined three different unidentified brains in a blind study and determined that Seau's brain had symptoms consistent with chronic traumatic encephalopathy or CTE, a disease first described in studies of boxers who developed dementia and Parkinson's disease-like symptoms.
Other former NFL players who have died, including some who have committed suicide, also have been found to have suffered from CTE.
The NIH statement said that in many cases, people with CTE were described as having undergone personality changes and suffered from depression, increased irritability and trouble with attention.
These symptoms are consistent with ways in which those close to Seau described him following his May 2 suicide, in which he shot himself in the chest at his Oceanside home. He was 43.
Seau grew up in Oceanside and played 12 seasons for the Chargers, then eight more for the Miami Dolphins and New England Patriots. He retired after the 2009 season. According to those close to him, Seau increasingly suffered from insomnia, depression, anxiety, alcohol abuse, mood swings and emotional detachment, among other things, throughout most of his career and after his retirement in January 2010.
"Looking back," Sydney Seau, Junior's daughter, said Thursday, "I always wondered why he was so disconnected and why I had to have such an effort to talk to him and see him. I've always been his only girl and he's been my guy. He never said 'no' to me, but the last couple years it's been a struggle. It helps me, but it also hurts me to know he wasn't to blame."
The NIH noted that the "relationship between … CTE and the symptoms is poorly understood. Whether and how the … CTE progresses to the more extensive brain degeneration is still unclear."
However, a renowned neurologist who studies the effects of brain trauma in athletes — especially in boxing and football — indicated the link is difficult to dispute.
"We never will definitely know, but the behavioral changes that he was experiencing could very well be secondary to CTE," said Dr. Barry Jordan, assistant medical director and director of the brain injury program at the Burke Rehabilitation Hospital in White Plains, N.Y. "The behavioral dysfunction may be one of the early signs of CTE, so it is possible. His brain was abnormal. We know that from the autopsy. Mostly people agree that you could have behavioral problems from this syndrome."


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The Bachelorette
Michael Stagliano Is Engaged to Emily Tuchscherer, Planning Midwest Wedding
Less than a month after Bachelorette and Bachelor Pad alum Michael Stagliano told us he was planning on asking his girlfriend Emily Tuchscherer to marry him, she said yes. The blue-eyed crooner already had Emily's dad's stamp of approval when he got down on bended knee at her parents' Wisconsin home. "Yup! I'm engaged. Happy face," Michael tweeted, with the above photo.
Michael met Emily, a 28-year-old banker living in Chicago, just eight months before popping the question — and only a few weeks before canoodling with Rachel Truehart during Bachelor Pad 3 filming. When you know, you know! Back in January, Michael gushed to us about Emily, knowing full well he planned to make her his wife. "She's the best thing that ever happened in my whole life," he told us.
As for the blissful nuptials? Michael revealed they'll most likely marry in the Midwest, because their families are both from there. Michael's twin brother, Stephen, will serve as best man, while his wife, former Bachelorette DeAnna Pappas, will be one of Emily's bridesmaids.
The only other wedding detail Michael's confident he has locked in? A dance party. "All the Stagliano weddings, they're all dance parties," Michael explained. " We dance hard. That will definitely be involved in the wedding."
Michael's first ABC ex girlfriend, former Bachelorette Jillian Harris, took to Twitter to congratulate the happy couple. "What!!!? Congrats!!! Yahoo!" Jilly tweeted. We couldn't have said it better ourselves.
Source: @MichaelStag


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chris.ph wrote:how come its always men that cook bbq
It isn't in our house it depends on the barbecue context: bf's birthday - I cook, my birthday - he cooks. Other occasions - depends on how many teachers I have invited.
Moderators: Tonyblack, Jason, Toothy
chris.ph wrote:how come its always men that cook bbq
Penfold wrote:I don't quite know how I missed your wildlife shots Susanne but better late than never.
I've been sorting out some of my favourite photos that I've taken this year. They can be seen on the link below but be warned, there are quite a lot of them (I've also sorted them into a monthly chronological order). If you do manage to wade through them, I hope you enjoy looking as much as I enjoyed taking.
https://picasaweb.google.com/1122367445 ... directlink
Catch-up wrote:I love looking at your pictures! Noticed a lot of favorites that you've posted here. Don't think I've seen the spiral staircase ones before though! Beautiful!
Derek took the pictures of the birds. Was going to post a couple more pictures from our trip of the beach and the zoo, but since 2012 has passed, maybe not.
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Great Value
By Old Roady
from Massachusetts
About Me Avid Cyclist
See all my reviews
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Comments about De Marchi Fondo Bib Shorts:
I now have four pairs of DeMarchi bib shorts, and the least expensive model. While not as nice as the Contour or Contour plus, for the price they cannot be beat. Most of my rides run from 25 to 50 miles and comfort is important. They have a top notch chamois.
Bottom Line Yes, I would recommend this to a friend
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Plush bibs
By MTBR gone Roadie
from Santa Rosa
The chamois is plush but is not as sculpted like many 3D chamois. The initial feeling is bulky but this disappears as the miles tick off. The added padding does not seem to create chaffing, so I don't think this would be a problem for most.The bib is well designed and comfortable. The fabric provides a little extra grip on the seat as compared to the other shorts I use.
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Sunny Side Up Show
The Sunny Side Up Show is a live television programming block dedicated to helping preschoolers prepare for the day ahead with its warm, welcoming and fun environment. Children, their parents and caregivers can share birthday wishes, crafts, games, show & tell and interact live with the hosts, Kaitlin, Tim, Carly, Emily and Chica. This live, three-hour block, with hosted segments, links Sprout's gold-standard shows, such as Barney & Friends and Thomas the Tank Engine.
All times are Eastern Standard Time (EST)
Host Corner
Get to know your favorite SSU host!
Good Egg Award
Tell us how your child is a Good Egg!
Send us your Birthday Wish!
Submit your child's birthday - it may be on TV!
Sproutlet News Report
Send in a video of your child - it may be on TV!


text: Reye's syndrome: Children and teenagers should not use this medicine for chicken pox or flu before a doctor is consulted about Reye's syndrome, a rare but serious illness reported to be associated with aspirin. Allergy alert: Aspirin may cause a severe allergic reaction which may include: hives, facial swelling, asthma (wheezing), shock. Alcohol warning: If you consume 3 or more alcoholic drinks every day, ask your doctor whether you should take aspirin or other pain relievers/fever reducers. Aspirin may cause stomach bleeding. Sore throat warning: If sore throat is sever, persists for more than 2 days, is accompanied or followed by fever, headache, rash, nausea, or vomiting, consult a doctor promptly. Do not use to sedate children. Do not use: If you are allergic to aspirin or any other pain reliever/fever reducer, if you are now taking a prescription monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MAOI) (certain drugs for depression, psychiatric or emotional conditions, or Parkinson's disease), or for 2 weeks after stopping the MAOI drug. If you do not know if your prescription drug contains an MAOI, ask a doctor or pharmacist before taking this product. If children under 12 years of age. Ask a doctor before use if you have: stomach problems (such as heartburn, upset stomach, or stomach pain) that last or come back, bleeding problems, heart disease, thyroid disease, ulcers, high blood pressure, glaucoma, asthma, diabetes, cough with excessive phlegm (mucus), a breathing problem such as emphysema or chronic bronchitis, difficulty in urination due to enlargement of the prostate gland, persistent or chronic cough such as occurs with smoking, asthma, or emphysema, a sodium-restricted diet. As a doctor or pharmacist before use if you are: taking a prescription drug for anticoagulation (blood thinning), diabetes, gout, arthritis, taking sedatives of tranquilizers. When using this product: do not exceed recommended dosage, may cause marked drowsiness, avoid alcoholic drinks, alcohol, sedatives and tranquilizers may increase drowsiness, be careful when driving a motor vehicle or operating machinery, excitability may occur, especially in children. Stop use and ask a doctor if: an allergic reaction occurs. Seek medical help right away, pain, cough, or nasal congestion gets worse or lasts more than 7 days, fever gets worse or lasts more than 3 days, redness or swelling is present, new symptoms occur, ringing in the ears or loss of hearing occurs, cough comes back or occurs with rash or headache that lasts. These could be signs of a serious condition, nervousness, dizziness or sleeplessness occurs. If pregnant or breast-feeding, ask a health professional before use. It is especially important not to use aspirin during the last 3 months of pregnancy unless definitely directed to do so by a doctor because it may cause problems in the unborn child or complications during delivery. Keep out of reach of children. In case of overdose, get medical help or contact a Poison Control Center right away.


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I have come across 2 Terry Pratchett posters one for The Carpet People and the other for Truckers. They are both Scholastic posters given to schools to advertise the books and I can't imagine there are many of them around.
I don't really want them but I'm sure someone would. Does anyone know the best place to sell things like this ??


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Maeven Jacket
Buy Now
A low profile, technical jacket that is an excellent mid layer for hard working days. The nylon/polyester Polartec® Powerstretch fabric is durable and moisture wicking, ensuring that you stay dry even while working hard.
Mid height collar keeps the back of the neck protected, an area where body heat is commonly lost. Large volume hand pockets mean there's room for stuff and your hands during rest moments.
The cuff, hem, and collar are all bound with durable Rentex Stretch ML fabric to give you a secure fit and prevent any cold fingers of air from poking through.
Learn More About This Product
Full Feature List
- Moisture-wicking
- Breathable
- Lightweight
- Low profile
- Compressible and packable
- Durable
- Quick-drying
- Flatlocked seams lie flat for added comfort
- Four-way stretch textile
- Anatomical shaping for fit and comfort
- Gusseted underarms
- Mid-height collar
- Full front zip
- Micro webbing zipper pulls
- Two hand pockets with zippers
- Polartec® Power Stretch® Pro - 53% polyester, 38% nylon, 9% spandex, 241 g/m². A four way stretch fabric that allows for excellent athletic movement and good breathability to maintain comfort.
- Machine wash in cold water.
- Tumble dry on medium heat.
- Do not iron.
- Do not use fabric softener.


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When the call went out for entries to the 2009 Super Chevy Suspension & Handling Challenge, Hotchkis went with what some may consider an unusual choice for a hot-handling entry: Art Alvarez' '65 Chevelle wagon was tapped to represent the Southern California-based company, and after seeing it perform we understand why.
Some particular models of cars are like good candy, once you're hooked, you can't stop. For Art, that irresistible automotive candy is two-door wagons. Back in 1997, Art got the taste for Chevelle two-door grocery getters when he bought his first one, a '64, and found several other enthusiasts with the same addiction. After that wagon proved to be a problem child with numerous electrical issues, Art passed it onto his son who worked in Michigan as a mechanic and bought a cherry '64 wagon with only 34,000 miles.
After having some fun with his second '64, Art heard that his good friend, Chevelle builder Dick Etchison, was moving to Colorado and parting ways with a '65 Chevelle wagon. Art quickly sold his second '64 wagon to buy the '65. Art also knew Dick had done a ground up restoration on the car and it was in pristine condition. After the deal was struck and Art had the Chevelle at home, he quickly began transforming the two-door from a bone stock hauler into a corner-carving import intimidator. First to go were the stock wheels and tires in favor of some Torque Thrust five-spokes (which later became billet 20s), and finally the Bonspeed two-piece wheels wrapped in Nitto NT05 rubber for the Super Chevy Challenge.
Because Art likes to drive his cars all the time, a Vintage Air climate system was installed, and Malibu interior trim from Original Parts Group replaced the standard Chevelle 300 trim the wagon came with. To give the wagon some extra grunt, the 350/200-4R it had between the fenders was replaced in favor of a GM Performance Parts ZZ383 pumping out 425hp backed by a 700R4 transmission built by Bowtie Overdrives.
So the car could handle all that power, Art went with a Hotchkis Sport Suspension Total Vehicle System with tubular upper and lower A-arms with the correct offset for B-body spindles for improved suspension geometry. The Hotchkis control arms feature fully TIG welded construction with 1.5-inch diameter tubing, CNC machined spring cup with stackable spring shims for adjusting ride height, polyurethane spring isolators, and laser cut steel arm gussets for extra strength. Providing some extra cushion are Bilstein/Hotchkis HPS1000 shocks.
Out back, a Hotchkis adjustable rear suspension package was installed, with adjustable upper and lower trailing arms that positively locate and control the rear axle for smooth and consistent launches with reduced wheel hop. The adjustable upper arms also allow for easy pinion angle changes to better tune the rear suspension when the car is lowered. The stock 10-bolt rear was pitched in favor of a 9-inch rear with 3.25 gears and a limited slip system to put all the 383's power to the pavement.
Keeping the body level is Hotchkis' Extreme Sway Bar Set, with tubular 13/8-inch diameter front bar and 15/16-inch rear bar. The rear bar has two adjustments, 75 percent and 100 percent stiffer than stock, with TIG welded end links and polyurethane bushings. Both bars feature Hotchkis' market-first fully articulated mounting system, which improves traction, decreases body roll, and allows the handling/balance tunability to compensate for larger rear tires and front/rear weight bias.
Making sure the wagon stays under control is Hotchkis' Performance steering rebuild kit. The kit comes with new inner and outer tie rod ends with 4140 forged ball studs and triple lip sealed boots installed in hardened steel forged housings, and center link assembly. Stopping all the action is a Baer Aluma Sport braking system, with dual piston calipers and cross drilled 12-inch rotors.


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No minimum purchase. First time buyers only. Click here to activate.
with Auto Delivery on this and all future orders of this item with our
Simplify Life automatic delivery program!
Click here for details.
HomeoPet Travel Anxiety will help provide relief from visually induced motion sickness. It will also calm pets experiencing anxiety or fear due to relocation. It helps to relieve nausea, nervousness, drooling and pacing that occurs while traveling in a vehicle.
HomeoPet producs are chemical-free, and safe for dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, hamsters and pot-bellied pigs of all ages. Manufactured under a FDA registered process. No known side effects from any HomeoPet products. Twelve years of researching only the best ingredients from all over the world. All HomeoPet products are liquid and given internally.
Available in 15 ml in a 23 ml sized bottle.
Each 15 ml remedy comes in a 23 ml liquid dropper bottle and may be dosed directly into the mouth, in food/treat or in water/milk. There are approximately 350 - 375 drops per bottle. For a pet under 20 lbs/10 kg one bottle will last 3 - 4 weeks, dosing 3 times daily. For a pet 20 - 100 lbs/10 - 50 kg, one bottle will last 10 - 13 days at 3 doses daily.
Because HomeoPet ships their products internationally, they use 23 ml sized bottles for each 15 ml remedy so there is extra room in the bottle to accommodate product volume changes caused by temperature variations during shipping. Each bottle is filled with the standard product volume of 15 ml of the remedy, but the bottle may appear to be "half-full" because of its larger size
Review Rating: 4
Country of Origin: USA
Manufacturer: HomeoPet
Shipping Weight: 0.06
IngredientsCocculus 6c&30cPassiflora 6c&30cValeriana 6c&30cBorax 6c&30cColchicum Autumnale 6c&30c in 20% USP alc. in purified water
Suggested Use
The reviews below are presented for informational purposes only and are not intended as an endorsement of any product. The information is not intended to be a substitute for visits to your local veterinarian. Instead, these testimonials offer the reader information and opinions written by pet owners and/or veterinarians concerning animal health and products that they have used.
(based on 13 reviews)
Ratings Distribution
5 Stars
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of respondents would recommend this to a friend.
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Reviewed by 13 customers
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(3 of 3 customers found this review helpful)
It works!
By Blue and Lilly's Mom
from South Pasadena, CA
About Me Long-time Pet Owner
Comments about HomeoPet Travel Anxiety:
I've never had a dog with motion sickness, until now. My puppy would drool and eventually vomit on car trips (of any length). Now, when I know we'll be traveling more than 10 minutes, I just put these drops in her food, and no more motion sickness. She doesn't seem negatively affected at all. No grogginess.
Bottom Line Yes, I would recommend this to a friend
Was this review helpful? Yes / No
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Comment on this review
About as effective as any other homeopat
By DonO
from Cape May County, NJ
Followed the directions. Had to listen to two yowling cats for the three hour cat trip. One even soiled himself. If I wanted that I could have saved my money and taken them untreated.
Bottom Line No, I would not recommend this to a friend
(0 of 1 customers found this review helpful)
It helps
By Sam
from Amsterdam, NY
First time 20 min before the car ride, it kept him from drooling and panting, but he still vomited after about 15 miles. Second time 1 hour before trip and again 30 minutes before trip. Made it all the way home from the vets without any unpleasantness. It works if you give it enough time to take effect. Very hard to get an effective dose down a reluctant kitty's throat though.
(0 of 2 customers found this review helpful)
By AKM
from Cincinnati, OH
We carefully followed dosing instructions, however we noticed no appreciable change in our dog's anxiety.
Travel Anxiety
By BB
from Mons, Belgium
Unfortunately the product did not help at all, my dog still creates a swimming pool in the crate within a 10 mile car ride.
Merchant response: Not every remedy will work for every pet, and severe issues may require multilple strategies, including behavioral techniques to help eliminate the problem. We hope that this reviewer will keep looking for a holistic care product to help her travel-anxious dog.
(4 of 4 customers found this review helpful)
By Catlover88
from Maryville, TN
I ordered this product because I was relocating from Utah to Tennessee and was driving two cats for the 1840 mile drive. I wanted something that would calm them but not make them too groggy. The made the trip without any anxiety or stress.
(5 of 5 customers found this review helpful)
What every vet should know about
By Sunny
from Denver, CO
This product was the perrrrfect solution to my cat who had to came with us on an 1800 mile journey! He's never liked being in a car before (the sounds that he would make were something out of this world or so it seemed.) With this product he seemed to enjoy the adventure as much as we did, if not more! (The moving truck was somewhat noisy but not the cat! Also, he was relaxed enough to enjoy exploring the rooms at the varuious pet friendly hotels that we stayed at overnight!) Every vet should know about this product and recommend it too!
(2 of 2 customers found this review helpful)
Cat Treats Pre-Treated w Homeopet Travel
By Mumma
from Anytown, USA
About Me Professional Pet Trainer
Great idea!! A friend of mine "pre-treated" Halo Liv-A-Littles with a couple drops of HomeoPet Travel and gave these treats to her cats when they drove across the country!! It worked like a charm. I just wanted to pass on this great idea for traveling cats (or dogs!).
(2 of 3 customers found this review helpful)
Works Great!
THIS STUFF IS AMAZING! I traveled 1400 miles with a dog and 2 cats in a car pulling a trailer. My 15 yr old dog loves to travel, but I had started giving him Dramamine so that he didn't get car sick and vomit and the Dramamine did not agree with him. With this homeopathic medication, he actually laid down and relaxed a lot of the trip, which was a first for him. The cats did well, until I hit really rough roads and then they were a bit upset until the roads were smooth again. To make giving it easier, I put the drops in a piece of meat and rolled up the meat for the dog and for the cats I used a small (3ml) syringe that my pharmacist gave me and then I just squirted it in the side of their mouth.
Product Does Work
My young German Shepherd loves going for rides in the back seat of my truck, but he always got a sick stomach and threw-up, and he could only tolerate very short rides. Now I give him HomeoPet Travel, and he has never gotten sick, and he can tolerate long trips with enjoyment. Does not have any side effects.
© 2015 Only Natural Pet LLC - All Rights Reserved


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Ready to Hunt German Shorthaired Pointer ACC Ranch & Kennels in Peyton/Elbert, Colorado
German Shorthaired Pointers in CO ACC Ranch & Kennels in Peyton/Elbert, Colorado
NAVHDA Utility Prize 1 190 points - German Shorthaired Pointer Hunting Dog Pictures
Breed: German Shorthaired Pointer
From: Linda Ewen
Website: http://www.fentonriver.com
Posted: Sep 29, 2012
Lauri Bailey and Fenton River Dynamic by Design earned their NAVHDA Utility Prize 1 testing at Yankee Chapter of NAVHDA September 9, 2012.
Photo courtesty of:
nancy anisfield
anisfield hunting dog photography


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The chemicals market consists of speciality chemicals, commodity chemicals, agricultural chemicals, and other chemicals (which includes products such as pharmaceutical chemicals). Market values are taken at producer selling price (PSP). Any currency conversions used in the creation of this report have been calculated using constant 2012 annual average exchange rates.
The Asia-Pacific chemicals market had total revenues of $1,807.8bn in 2012, representing a compound annual growth rate (CAGR) of 12.5% between 2008 and 2012.
The commodity chemicals segment was the market´s most lucrative in 2012, with total revenues of $903.3bn, equivalent to 50% of the market´s overall value.
The performance of the market is forecast to decelerate slightly, with an anticipated CAGR of 10% for the five-year period 2012 - 2017, which is
Author:Mike Kinge-mailWeb: www.companiesandmarkets.comPhone: London: +44 (0) 203 086 8600