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In this issue
Mid-Atlantic Region Hosts the Coalition Partner Meeting
Guest Blog: Disclosure and Outness as a Therapist
The Mid-Atlantic Region hosts NCSF's Coalition Partners Annual Meeting
The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom held its annual Coalition Partners meeting in Baltimore, MD from March 20-22. The Coalition Partners and Board Members focused on the goals for NCSF's programs moving forward, along with discussing the annual reports, voting in the Board of Directors and approving the budget.
"It's been an inspiring year to see the Board and Staff of NCSF come together and work hard to make this a better organization," says Chairman Kevin Carlson. "Looking to the future was important for us at this Annual Meeting, as we laid out the path for what our coalition can become and how we can better serve our communities."
For the complete annual reports and financials, go to: http://bit.ly/1Cs6NXs.
NCSF would like to thank Judy Guerin (Consent Counts Director), Dick Cunningham (NCSF Legal Counsel), and Ashlie Deal (NCSF Advocate), for their planning and assistance during the annual meeting. NCSF would also like to thank Marc Ominsky for presenting with Ashlie and Susan Wright at the Baltimore PlayHouse on Sunday afternoon on Consent Violations and Liability.
The DC Sub Club and the DC Dommes hosted a VIP Reception and play party at Dick and Judy's house on Saturday evening so the NCSF Board Members and staff could meet local community members. Thanks to the attendees, and Dick and Judy for matching donations, a total of $5,300 was raised! NCSF thanks you for your support!
The new NCSF Board of Directors consists of:
Kevin Carlson - Chairman - Boise, ID
Mark Richards - Secretary - New York, NY
Stephanie "Sassy" Lynn - NCSF Treasurer - Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN
Jim Fleckenstein - NCSF Foundation Treasurer - Manassas, VA
Laura Carlson - Education Outreach Director - Boise, ID
Barak (Drew Gardinier) - CP Liaison - Columbus, OH
Jason - Membership Director - St. Louis, MO
Keira Harris - Volunteer Director - New Orleans, LA
Devin MacLachlan - Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Mercury - Literature Director - Nashville, TN
Julian Wolf - Newsletter Director - Albuquerque, NM
Susan Wright - Media and Incident Reporting & Response Director - Phoenix, AZ
NCSF looks forward to seeing you on the West Coast for the 2016 Annual Coalition Partners Meeting.
Please support NCSF by becoming a member, volunteering or donating today! NCSF is here to help you, so please help us! www.ncsfreedom.org
The DC Sub Club and the Dommes of the DC SubClub raised $5,300 for NCSF at their VIP reception and dungeon party held in March to coincide with the NCSF Annual Coalition Partner Meeting in Baltimore.
Folsom Street Events donated a $1,000 to NCSF as part of their 2014 National Community Grant program.
Coalition Partner Leather SINS donated $900 to the NCSF Foundation from their Kinky Kollege Spring Break event in March.
Coalition Partner AdventuresInSexuality.org in Columbus, Ohio, donated $440 to sponsor the printing of NCSF's wallet bust cards.
Coalition Partner MN Marketplace raised $183 at their February 21st Vicious Valentine Redux event.
The Atlanta PolyAmorous group raised $130 for NCSF on January 15th.
Coalition Partner Albany Power Exchange donated $110 to NCSF.
Coalition Partner The Knights of Leather in Minneapolis donated $100 to NCSF in January.
The Fraternal Members of The 15 Association in San Francisco donated $100 to NCSF in December 2014.
Thank you to all the new members who joined NCSF during our 50 Shades of NCSF membership drive!
Numbers count when we advocate for you, and the bigger we are, the harder our voice is to ignore. There is no other group that fights for kink and nonmonogamy like NCSF does. We help people in need, groups under siege, and businesses opposed by sex-negative bureaucracy.
We can't do it without your support. Thank you for joining NCSF!
Direct to NCSF members, courtesy of satirical BDSM webzine, The DailyFlogger
Researchers Discover "Sex Positive" Gene
Researchers in Finland have discovered a new gene which they are calling "sex positivity." The breakthrough changes conventional thinking that the so-called "sex positive" movement was just a combination of horniness, self-righteousness, and the inability to keep one's opinions to oneself.
"Not true," says researcher Sven Anderson. "We found a completely separate gene. It often happens to be combined with the others, explaining why most of these people are completely insufferable to be around, but it is really its own thing."
Kitty Danger, 27, held a press conference to celebrate the finding. "We hope this brings the era of gene-shaming to an end."
- See more at: http://www.thedailyflogger.
Dommes of the DC Sub Club Do It Again!
By Judy Guerin
The fabulous ladies of the DC Sub Club put together another fun VIP reception and dungeon party for the benefit of NCSF on Saturday March 22nd that raised over $5,300. Every year, these ladies do fundraisers for NCSF and raise substantial funds. Not only did the ladies help promote it and attend, Mistress Mei coordinated the house set-up and food preparation. Chef Voodoodoc8 donated the food and prepared a scrumptious dinner buffet and appetizers. All had a great time.
This event was scheduled in honor of NCSF's annual meeting, which was held the weekend of 3/20-3/22 near Baltimore. The party was held at the home and dungeon of Judy Guerin, NCSF's Consent Counts Director and sponsored by the DC Sub Club. The DC Sub Club holds a monthly "Dinner with Dommes" where male subs can meet dominant women in a social environment. NCSF wants to thank all of the ladies: Mistress Mei, Mistress Tyler, Mistress Lynn, Cherokee Rose, Ivory Mistress Jae, Ms. Seven and Mistress Max Rulz, as well as the DC Sub Club and chef Voodoodoc8. We also want to thank the members of the DC Sub Club and others who made extra donations and made this event so successful. Here are some pictures of the ladies enjoying themselves with Susan Wright and Judy Guerin of NCSF. Per Mistress Mei, "These local pro dommes rock and are always ready to help NCSF."
Each year these ladies also hold a formal dinner and dungeon party for the benefit of NCSF that raises over $4,000 annually. 8-10 of these ladies participate each year and seats at the table are auctioned off online for the corresponding number of submissive men. This year's dinner is scheduled for July 11, so all of the submissive men in the DC and Baltimore metro area should start thinking about their bids so they don't miss out on this very fun event.
Guest Blog: "Disclosure and Outness as a Therapist with Intersecting Atypical Identifications"
by Dulcinea Pitagora
Prior to starting my practice as a therapist, I was confronted with contradicting perspectives on the therapist's disclosure of personal information to their clients. The prevailing thought behind this in the mental health field is that the therapeutic environment is not a place for therapists to disclose too much about themselves-therapy is about the client, not about the therapist, and disclosing personal information might distract clients from the therapeutic process for a variety of reasons. Having said that, recent research has shown potential benefits in certain types of disclosure, particularly when the therapist is a member of a sexual minority group, and the client in question might feel safer with a therapist who shares their marginalized identification(s).
I have to say, it was validating and such a relief to hear this perspective echo my own. The fact is, I was aligned with this approach to disclosure well before reading this research, having had the experience of searching for a therapist myself, and asking potential therapists to disclose their connection to and experience with BDSM. Not that I wanted to know personal details about the therapist's sex life or partner status, but it was important to me to know that they had a working knowledge of my lifestyle, not only so they wouldn't judge or pathologize my preferences, but so I wouldn't waste time and money on educating them as I had with past therapists.
This is exactly why I'm out about the communities I work with and am a part of, and this is also exactly why I created ManhattanAlternative.
I feel an obligation to the individuals I work with to be out about my identifications, not only because it might help them feel safer and more comfortable in talking to me, but because it sets the precedent that there is nothing wrong with feeling good about having an atypical identification and owning who you are. It is important to note that being out in this way is a privilege that not everyone has. Many people who are kinky, poly, or have a non-binary sexual orientation or gender identification (or intersections thereof) work and live in environments that could be dangerous if they weren't closeted. Being out is definitely an individual decision, and depends on social context and individual readiness. I am of the mindset that the more of us who can be out the better, because it will slowly help those who can't be by chipping away at pathologizing public perceptions and stigmatization.
My goals in creating Manhattan Alternative are to make it easier for people who have been wanting to reach out for support but have been reluctant to, or haven't been able to find someone they feel comfortable talking to, and offer support to those with intersecting marginalized identities (e.g., kinky and poly; kinky and gender-nonconforming; poly and gender-nonconforming; kinky, poly, and queer; etc). Another goal is to encourage providers with practical knowledge of these communities to offer support by being out about their knowledge of and connection to these communities. Especially in the wake of the 50 Shades franchise, many providers are advertising that they are kink- or alt lifestyle-friendly, and while I don't doubt many of them are affirming, they may not have the practical knowledge or experience that Manhattan Alternativeproviders emphasize.
My hope is to create a network of providers that is as inclusive and diverse as possible, which is why I'm putting a call out to therapists and health care professionals of varying races, ethnicities, abilities, gender expressions, and sexual orientations-particularly those with an intersection of identifications-to fill out the Manhattan Alternative Provider Application Form if they are interested in being listed as a kink/poly/trans/LGBQ-
Dulcinea Pitagora, MA, LMSW
Manhattan Alternative Founder
Guest Blogs do not represent NCSF but are the opinion of the blogger. NCSF provides space for activists to post their opinions in order to get feedback from the kink and nonmonogamous communities on the work they are doing and the information they are providing to the mainstream.
Incident Reporting & Response - 1st Quarter 2015 report
By Susan Wright, Director of IRR
NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response received 54 requests for assistance from individuals, groups and businesses in January, February and March. NCSF maintains the confidentiality of those who come to us for help. However we balance that need with the need to report the services we are providing and to provide the community with a record of where the need is the greatest. Here is a breakdown of the cases we assisted on in the first quarter of 2015:
There were 18 requests for assistance with incidents involving criminal law. 12 of those requests were from survivors of a kink-related assault/sexual assault who needed assistance in connecting with kink-aware victim services, education of law enforcement, investigators and prosecutors. 5 were requests for kink-aware defense attorneys and expert witnesses knowledgeable about BDSM vs. abuse. The other incident involved obscenity law.
13 professionals and organizations asked NCSF for information and resources to assist in them in providing their services to kinky clients. These included victim services, medical clinics, therapists, prosecutors and college professors. We also provided information and resources to 2 kink activists to assist in their training of professionals in their area.
There were 12 requests for help involving BDSM and swing groups. 6 groups asked for advice on banning members and dealing with consent violations. 4 groups asked for assistance in setting up a club and dealing with zoning. 2 groups needed assistance with reporters who wanted to attend one of their events.
Child Custody
There were 8 requests for help with child custody in which BDSM was brought in to contest custody. That is an increase from the 4th quarter of 2014 in which there were 6 requests for help with child custody. We assisted in family court cases in Virginia, Indiana, Ohio, Texas, Georgia, Arkansas and Canada.
There were 2 requests for help with kink-related discrimination. One person is being denied hospital visitation and the other needed help finding a kink-aware therapist in her area.
Civil law incidents
Only 1 request for help with a threatened outing, involving their FetLife profile.
Media Updates and Web Features
NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics. These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between.
Here's a sample of three of our recent featured stories:
Polyamory 101: What the Curious Need to Know from CafeMom
Swingers clubs limited by state lawmakers from The Tennessean
The Second Coming of Tom from Out Magazine
NCSF publishes the Updates to provide readers with a comprehensive look at what media outlets are writing about these topics and to urge everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. NCSF permits and encourages readers to forward these Updates where appropriate.
You can sign up to receive our emails here or check our blog at our website here.
NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts
and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!
In this issue
Guest Blog: Out To The Doctor?
2014 has been a year of progress for NCSF and for people who are kinky and nonmonogamous. The national conversation about gay marriage, consent, and even Fifty Shades of Grey are transforming mainstream attitudes. The change in the American Psychiatric Association's DSM-5 stating that BDSM is a healthy form of sexual expression has also had a significant impact on both the courts and public opinion about kink.
Education Outreach Project
The NCSF Board Members and presenters gave Education Outreach Project workshops and tabled at 36 events in 2014 (compared to 22 in 2013), with a focus on consent discussions, BDSM & the Law, and distributing literature such as Kink is Okay and Finding Kink Aware Medical Care.
The groups and events where NCSF presented included: Arizona Men of Leather, Arizona Power Exchange, Atlanta Poly Weekend, BDSM Writers Con, Behind Closed Doors, Beyond The Love, CatalysCon East, Catalyst Art & Cultural Space, Center for Sex Positive Culture, CLAW, COPE, CPI/The Mark, Dark Con, Dark Odyssey Winter Fire, Dark Odyssey Surrender, Desert Dominion, DragonCon, Floating World, Folsom Street East, Future of Monogamy and Non-Monogamy, International Mr. Leather, Kinkfest, Leathermen's Discussion Group, MSDB Bizarre Bazaar, Paradise Unbound, Poly Living Conference, Polyamory Political Activism Conclave, Portland Leather Alliance, SMART, Society for Sex Therapy & Research 39th Annual Meeting, Southwest Leather Contest, Spanksgiving, Thunder in the Mountains, Up Your Alley - Dore Alley, Winter Wickedness, and the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit.
NCSF also exhibited at the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) 47th Annual Conference on June 4-8th, in Monterey, California. NCSF helped organize a panel presentation on "Social Organizations and BDSM Communities," moderated by Neil Cannon, PhD, DST and Russell Stambaugh, PhD, DST. The panel was attended by 115 of the 550 participants, and raised over $4,000 for AASECT. The panelists were experienced and articulate kink organizers on the West Coast: Race Bannon, Janet Hardy, Demitri Moshanyii, Richard Sprott, Anna Randall, and Jim and Montaine who run a dungeon-themed B&B in Monterey.
Jim Fleckenstein was the lead presenter on "The Fountain of Youth! The Association of an Open Relationship Orientation with Health and Happiness in a Sample of Older Adults," a workshop discussing the key findings from the Loving More and NCSF internet survey, the largest-ever sample of self-identified polyamorists.
The NCSF booth in the Exhibit Hall gave away 50 free copies of What Psychology Professionals Should Know About Polyamory, courtesy of a grant by Alan of Polyamory in the News as well as brochures on NCSF's projects and programs. Nearly 150 copies of NCSF's new Kink is Okay! brochure were given away, describing the changes in the DSM-5 that depathologized BDSM.
Kink Aware Professionals
Over 1,200 people accessed NCSF's Kink Aware Professionals database in 2014 to find a lawyer, therapist or other professional. Recognizing the need for more kink aware professionals in KAP, NCSF joined forces with GayLawNet, a free referral database of gay-friendly attorneys, which began offering a Kink Aware Professional category for their lawyers to self-identify as kink aware.
Incident Reporting & Response
To assist in educating professionals, NCSF published What Professionals Need to Know About BDSM by Lauren Moore, Tamara Pincus & David Rodemaker. This pamphlet was written to help professionals meet culturally competent ethical standards in work with those of our underserved population.
NCSF received 184 requests for assistance in 2014 through Incident Reporting & Response. 40% of IRR requests dealt with criminal issues. 20% were child custody/divorce. 14% were requests for information on kink and non-monogamy from professionals including: academics, social services, vanilla nonprofit organizations & events, authors, merchant services, and insurance brokers. 11% were group issues, primarily assisting in handling adversarial members, outreach to law enforcement, or managing negative media incidents.
NCSF launched our 50 Shades of NCSF campaign featuring four palm cards and a resource page. Two of the palm cards are geared toward vanilla people who may be interested in kink while the other two have information on consent and the law. These palm cards were sent to 68 groups for distribution during the upcoming launch of the Fifty Shades of Grey movie.
In December, NCSF also broadcast a media kit through PR Newswire entitled "NCSF: Are you ready for the Fifty Shades of Grey movie?" that targeted reporters and offered story ideas about kink and non-monogamy. The PR was reposted on 137 websites, including Reuters and the Associated Press, and was viewed by over 1,000 journalists in the first 24 hours.
Susan Wright gave 32 interviews in 2014 to reporters from mainstream media to blogs and podcasts. The 2014 interviews included: The NY Times, NY Magazine, Atlantic Monthly, CNN, Playboy, Bay Area Reporter, Slate, Jane XO, Alternet, andtwo Huffington Post Live appearances.
Barak and Sheba of AdventuresinSexuality.org, a long-time Coalition Partner of NCSF, joined the media team and will be giving interviews on kink and non-monogamy. NCSF also published 15 Guest Blogs by experts in various fields, up from five Guest Blogs posted in 2013. Jsin created several podcast PSAs about NCSF tailored to specific niches - leathermen, pansexual and vanilla-ish - as well as promotional videos to accompany the 50 Shades of NCSF campaign.
NCSF ran two surveys in 2014: the Consent Violations Survey and the Mental Health Survey. The results of both will be available in early 2015. The Consent Violations Survey collected 4,600 responses and the results will be given to law enforcement, prosecutors, victim services and health care professionals to help them understand the experiences of kinky people and provide better quality service.
The Mental Health Survey collected over 800 responses. NCSF is working with researchers at Sam Houston University's Department of Psychology and Philosophy who will ultimately compare our response set to two other sample populations - one college-aged and the other LGBT.
Consent Counts
The Consent Counts program continued its educational mission as well as providing Amicus ("friend of the court") Briefs in relevant legal cases. The Navy and Marine Corps Court of Criminal Appeals twice accepted NCSF's amicus brief in the case of Gregory T. Miles, Lance Corporal, U.S. Marine Corps. NCSF advised the court that prosecutors are avoiding the Supreme Court decision, made in Lawrence v. Texas, that moral judgment is not a basis for criminalizing consensual sexual conduct, and that consensual sex should only be criminalized if that conduct is injurious or goes against a valid societal interest. NCSF also argued that military law is out of sync with U.S. Constitutional law and societal mores, especially when it comes to consensual sexual behaviors.
Ombuds Committee
As part of the revamping of NCSF's policies and procedures this year, the NCSF Board created the Ombuds Committee in June and appointed Desmond Ravenstone, James Huesmann and Bjorn Paulee. The Ombuds Committee handles complaints and concerns regarding the conduct of NCSF officers and staff, and the operations of NCSF institutions. The NCSF Ombuds Committee was established as an Advisory Committee, as per NCSF bylaws, to review coalition administration and activities, assuring ethical and effective fulfillment of NCSF's mission and goals. Board Member Fil Vocasek is the Board Liaison to the Ombuds Committee.
NCSF thanks the groups, businesses and individuals who have donated and joined NCSF as members this year. Our staff, Board Members, Coalition Partners, Supporting Members and individual members all understand how important it is to have NCSF as a resource to help kinky and non-monogamous people. Please join NCSF today!
Adventures in Sexuality, a NCSF Coalition Partner, donated $500 at their COPE conference in October.
CPI/The Mark, a Coalition Partner, donated $1,000 to NCSF in October.
Behind Closed Doors, the annual conference by Baja Arizona Leather, a Supporting Member of NCSF, raised $300 by passing the hat at their Sunday key note speech.
House of Decorum, a NCSF Coalition Partner, raised $1,296 at their annual fetish ball, held this year in Asheville, NC.
The Red Chair, a NCSF Coalition Partner, donated $744 that was raised at their annual NCSF fundraiser and Halloween Masquerade. This year's theme was Steampunk! Airship Pirates and Gypsies running wild, with great carnival games and events.
The SFCitadel sponsored a Holiday Dance in the Dungeon for NCSF that raised $913 in
December. The event was supported by the Leathermen's Discussion Group, 15 Association, Society of Janus and the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.
The New Mexico Leather League donated $621 to NCSF in November.
Min-KY, a NCSF Coalition Partner, raised $580 for NCSF in October.
Spanksgiving, the annual fall event by STL3, a Coalition Partner of NCSF, raised $320 through their ice-bucket challenge at the opening ceremonies against Jason (NCSF Board Member), James (NCSF's Ombuds Committee) and the lovely Tink.
The Tides Foundation donated a $1,500 grant to NCSF! The board of directors thanks Tides, as well as the anonymous donor who nominated NCSF for this grant.
Incident Reporting & Response - 2014 Report
By Susan Wright
NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response helps people who are being discriminated against because they are kinky and/or nonmonogamous: 184 requests for help were received in 2014. One-fourth of the cases evolved into weeks- or months-long projects, requiring the education of a number of legal, medical and mental health professionals about kink. Other professionals who requested information or resources to better serve kinky people included: academics, social services, vanilla nonprofit organizations & events, authors, merchant services, and insurance brokers.
The drop in IRR requests can be partly attributed to the increased page views on NCSF's
Kink Aware Professionals database, with over 1,200 kinky people directly accessing KAP in 2014 to find a lawyer, therapist or other professional rather than asking NCSF for help through Incident Reporting & Response. Recognizing the need for more professionals to be listed in KAP, in 2014 NCSF joined forces with GayLawNet, a free referral database of gay-friendly attorneys. GayLawNet also began offering a Kink Aware Professional category for their lawyers to self-identify as kink aware.
Of the 184 requests for assistance, the majority dealt with BDSM while only 6 involved
polyamory/swing issues:
Criminal issues
The 73 requests that involved criminal issues typically took the most time and effort to
help resolve, including finding kink-aware legal representation and educating relevant
professionals to remove kink as a barrier to services. The requests break down as follows:
Child Custody/Divorce
In 2014, there was a significant drop in requests for help with child custody/divorce
issues. That is due to the change in the DSM-5 criteria, which made it clear that people who are kinky are not mentally ill:
parents who now retain child custody. More kinky parents who come to NCSF for help are
successful in removing kink as an issue in family court and with social service workers and Child Protective Services. Of the 33 cases, 3 are still ongoing, but of those that assigned custody:
educational and social groups. Most people are now aware that they need to get professional advice in setting up their clubs and association papers, and it is common knowledge how to produce an event legally. As a result, NCSF received fewer requests for establishing a nonprofit or dealing with zoning laws, and instead primarily assisted groups in handling adversarial members, liability issues, doing outreach to local law enforcement, and handling media incidents. NCSF helped 20 kink groups in 2014 vs. 77 in 2012.
Requests for help with swing and polyamory issues dropped to less than 3% of the total
requests in 2014 compared to nearly 9% in 2012 and nearly 5% in 2011. There has been a
significant drop in the number of house parties as Lifestyle events have shifted toward a
business model that uses club venues, cruise ships and hotels. This means fewer busted house parties, and less need for NCSF services.
The decline in discrimination against nonmonogamists may also be due in part to the
success of gay marriage. The mainstream media covers relationship issues like nonmonogamy much more positively than it did five years ago. According to the NCSF Media Updates, of the articles that involved nonmonogamy as a subject:
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By Jane Jameson
Focus Features announced today that they will not be releasing the film version of E L James' book 50 Shades of Grey after Japanese hackers broke into their servers and threatened to release damaging information about the books author, the film's stars, and financial dealings with major studios.
The hacker also threatened to "flood the American market with real bondage and movies about actual S&M relationships" that would make 50 Shades look like a "bad parody of a bad book that was written by a bad author."
The hackers left the following message on the company's servers:
Bondage in movie is very bad. #GOR [Guardians of Rope] cannot permit movie. It is so bad we must threaten violence to make it stop. You disgrace everything good. Everything that we love. We have movies we will release. We have eels doing pervert things. If you don't stop we will show all Americans these movies.
Hollywood insiders suspect that the alleged attack may actually be an attempt by the studio to shelve the film which has seen production delays due mostly to actor Jamie Dornan's inability to provide anything more than a wooden, one dimensional performance. Rumors that the sex scenes were stale and lifeless and needed to be reshot dozens of times have led to speculation that the film will be a major disappointment.
Actress Dakota Johnson denied those rumors, telling The Daily Flogger, "I think you are mistaken. I don't recall there being any sex scenes. We had a few days of shooting in a bed, but I don't think you could call whatever Jamie was doing sexual or sexy or even interesting."
Johnson has a different view of the film than most. The actress, who hasn't read the books, says "it is really a movie about how boring sex becomes once a man gets a lot of money. I see it as a cautionary tale and a very sad one that that. I wouldn't use the word erotic. Or sexy. Or good."
By Barak
So there you are, in the semi-private exam room at your Doctor's office or the Emergency Room, or any other patient care access point... and it's time to be seen.. The nurse has taken your vitals, checked some general questions, and before leaving the room, asks you to get into a gown. You have removed your clothing and have fitted the stylish blue plaid garment as best is possible. The rough material slides over your front, and you get a sore twinge from those nipple clamps you were wearing last night. Images begin to form in your head, as you reminisce about that fantastic scene from last night and your pulse increases slightly. The door opens, and as the doctor walks in you blanch recalling the purple mosaic of bruises you saw reflected in the mirror this am.
What is the Doctor going to think? Will they turn you in? Will they throw you out? Can you get a straightjacket out of this? What do you say? How do you handle it? Do you tell the truth?
Let's chat about this one. I have been in healthcare, as a Nurse or a Paramedic, for over 20 years. I have worked in Home Health, in Doctor's Offices, Psych centers, and at busy ERs and have seen almost everything. Really. I can tell you stories from decades ago about things stuck in places... But, let's save that for a fun night at a Meet N Greet, and get to some real discussion for now.
I will start off by introducing you to something called The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) of 1996. If you read through this Act, you will find that a Doctor, nurse or other healthcare providers (HCPs) can only release records or information that is specific to you or could identify you in any way, if it pertains directly to your care or billing. That's it. If this info in shared in any other way? That is illegal and prosecutable. It's actually very serious in the medical field.
The HIPAA laws prevent HCPs from even disclosing immediate family info. For instance? Let's say Sheba was in the hospital for testing. Let's also say that I was working for this same facility and had access to the computer systems. Even if she asks me to, it is illegal for me to access her records. Why? Because I am not on her care team and thereby don't have a "legitimate" reason for taking a peek.
Where are we going with this? Because this law essentially covers Doctor / Patient confidentiality rules. However, there are a couple loopholes that you may want to be aware of. If a Doctor or other HCP feels that there is some form of danger, like you are being threatened, abused, harmed, etc. They are Mandated Reporters. Meaning, if they feel there is that type of issue, they can legally disclose information to Law Enforcement investigators. But this is for your protection.
Now that you are aware of those pieces, we can continue. What is my advice? I always encourage honesty. If you are hurt, or there is something wrong? Be frank and honest about it. Don't try to make something up that "might" fit what happened.
Let's say you had a shoulder injury during a rope scene. There are certain things you might leave out, but make sure you don't leave anything out that contributed to the injury. For instance, while Kinksters may love the terms, "Tied up and fucked," "BDSM," "Rape Scene," etc... There is no reason to try and bait them by playing, "Shock the Doc." In situations like this, discretion is the better part of valor. Take time and amend possible inflammatory terms. HCPs are fine with the terms, "Kinky Sex." "I like it a little rough," "Creative Sexual expression," etc..
Depending on what you were actually doing, you may not have to get into that discussion at all. For instance, if you were
doing suspension work you might just let them know you were "experimenting with Rope," and "were being held off the ground by rope around your arm, shoulder, etc..." when you felt XYZ or however it happened. Meaning, you don't have to get into why you were suspended, other than you were playing around with Rope.
Either way, you should always be honest about the how it happened. There is really no reason to get into the why most of the time. ya know? As HCPs, we are very adept at understanding the way the human body looks, acts, and works. We are also aware about the mechanics of damage, trauma and wounds. We have spent years listening to stories, comparing injuries, and calculating facts. We have a very finely tuned intuition, so if something feels out of place? We investigate much more fully.
Just know that even if you are completely honest, you may get a visit from the friendly facility social worker. They may verify that everything is on the up and up, that your participation is consensual, and there is not any abuse going on. However, if the HCPs feel as though you are hiding something, deliberately baiting them, or trying to get a reaction, it may mildly irritate or it may really piss em off. Not a great idea, as they can certainly cause problems for you. If you set off their red flags, there is a good chance it will turn into much more of an inquiry that could involve people with a different looking uniforms and badges.
If you are with your partner? Make sure you are on the same page, and don't become resentful if they separate you. They just want to make sure this is not domestic violence. So, smile alot, and make sure you both have the exact same story. One of the best stories? Is the one where you shyly admit you like being tied up, and your partner was trying to accommodate you.
Furthermore, if the reason you are at the doctor's has nothing to do with the bruises on your ass & thighs? Just smile knowingly and say, "It's consensual, I like it rough." Then bring them back to the subject at hand, like the sore throat and cough symptoms you are having. If they bring you back to it? Just be factual and direct. Take a "nothing to see here," attitude.
What to do? Should you come out to your Doctor? In the end that is up to you. However, as I have said, we have seen a lot. I can assure you that handprints don't look like something accidental. Whip, flogger and cane marks? Hello! Your best bet is to be honest and straightforward. If you can't or won't come out to your HCP? Then either make sure you don't have marks, don't get injured, or just find another HCP you are willing to share with. It's your health and your choice.
Are You Ready for Fifty Shades?
To coincide with the launch of the movie, get your Fifty Shades of Kink palm cards from NCSF to put out at your club or in local sex shops and bookstores so that people who are looking to find out more about kink know where to go.
NCSF's Fifty Shades of Kink resource page is for people who are kinky and/or non-monogamous, whether they're just starting out or an old hand at this: ncsfreedom.org/50ShadesofKink
Media Updates and Web Features
NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics. These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between.
Here's a sample of three of our recent featured stories:
Sex talk on TLC: That's Margaret Cho biz from the NY Daily News
Dave Navarro: I'm Strapped for Kinky Sex from TMZ
Dishes, Dinner, & Sex from Valley Advocate
NCSF publishes the Updates to provide readers with a comprehensive look at what media outlets are writing about these topics and to urge everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. NCSF permits and encourages readers to forward these Updates where appropriate.
You can sign up to receive our emails here or check our blog at our website here.
NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts
and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!
In this issue
NCSF is working with researchers at Sam Houston University's Department of Psychology and Philosophy who will compare our responses to two other sample populations - one college-aged and the other LGBT-identified.
NCSF will use these results to help with our advocacy, benefiting both existing and developing programs. Specifically, the study's results will assist in educating law enforcement, legal and psychological professionals about the practices and mental health of BDSM practitioners.
The survey will take approximately 35 minutes of your time.
Incident Reporting & Response - 3rd Quarter 2014 report
By Susan Wright, director of IRR
In July, August and September, NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response received 41 requests for assistance with child custody, job discrimination, legal issues and discrimination against groups and businesses.
The Kink Aware Professionals list is our highest accessed resource on our website, with an average of 100 people searching for kink aware professionals every month in the 3rd quarter. As our KAP list grows, people are accessing KAP directly to find kink-aware attorneys and therapists instead of asking NCSF to educate vanilla professionals about kink and nonmonogamy. Please help grow KAP by telling kink friendly professionals that they can get a free listing for referrals.
NCSF maintains the confidentiality of those who come to us for help. However we have to balance that need with the need for transparency. So each quarter, we'll sum up the types of cases we worked on and give you examples of the locations when possible:
Child Custody
There were 10 requests for help with child custody, a drop from the 2nd quarter in which we had 13 requests for help with child custody. We assisted in family court cases in Arizona, Georgia, Indiana, Minnesota, Ohio, Tennessee, Texas and Washington.
Organizational issues
There were 6 requests for help from BDSM groups. Two separate incidents involved venues cancelling contracts for BDSM event in two different regions. NCSF strategized with the organizers, bringing in our legal counsel in one case, and in the other reaching out directly to the venue to protest the discrimination. NCSF also assisted with a case involving online defamation against an event, and gave advice on membership groups and how to operate legally.
Criminal issues
There were 16 requests for assistance with criminal issues over the past three months. 6 of those requests involved assistance in dealing with a kink-related sexual assault (one was a defendant). The other 10 incidents include: a request for help with green card issues because of BDSM activities; someone who was being stalked online needed assistance in reporting it and getting an order of protection; several people asked how to deal with an online solicitation from Asian slave traders (I reported the emails to the FBI); provided legal research for a kinky sex worker and referral to nswp.org; and two requests for expert witnesses in criminal cases in Florida and California involving BDSM and alleged domestic violence.
Civil law issues
There were 7 requests for help with civil law issues including: sexual harassment in the workplace because the person was kinky; someone who was told he had to stop being kinky as part of his court-ordered therapy; issues around a sexual surrogacy case; assistance for someone who had their photographs taken from FetLife and posted on YouTube; and 3 cases of alleged libel. These cases took place in California, Colorado, Maryland and New Jersey, among others.
If you need help, please contact NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response: https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/incident-response/incident-response.html or call 410-539-4824.
The attendees of Behind Closed Doors for passing the hat and raising $300 in October (produced by Baja Arizona Leather, an NCSF Supporting Member).
NCSF Coalition Partner Adventures in Sexuality for donating $500 to NCSF from their COPE conference in September in Ohio.
The BDSM Writers Conference for raising $513 in their silent auction at the New York City conference in August.
Coming Together, the erotic anthology, donated $130 to NCSF in August.
Folsom Street East for donating $2,250 raised at their annual NYC street fair in June, that is earmarked for NCSF's Continuing Legal Education Program.
One of NCSF's original Coalition Partners, TES in New York City, raised $270 at their annual conference TES Fest 2014 in July.
One of NCSF's Ohio Coalition Partners, the Purple Rose Society, raised $300 for NCSF in June.
NCSF received the Community Award from Arizona Power Exchange at their 26th Anniversary Celebration on September 20th. Susan Wright holds the award surrounded by some of the APEX Board of Directors and Officers - Master Shane, Master Archer, Tess, Jackie, Master Mick and Samantha.
Has your kinky group or business lost its ability to process credit/debit card transactions or has had (or currently having) trouble establishing any merchant service because of ties to kink? If so, please contact NCSF!
We have been discussing this problem with the Free Speech Coalition (which is actively searching for merchant service options for adult businesses) and have begun investigating effective options that would benefit our various alt sex communities.
Thank you!
Direct to NCSF members, courtesy of satirical BDSM webzine, The DailyFlogger:
Local Author Plans to "Get Rich" Writing BDSM Fiction
By Lazlo Toth
Ted "Chugger" Cormick, 25, has announced his plans to write the "next 50 Shades of Grey." Cormick told The Daily Flogger he was unimpressed by the novel, with its shallow characters and poor writing. "I think I could do better, maybe like 10% better and if that book sold 100 million copies, I think I could sell like ten percent more than that, which is like, well it's more than 100 million."
Cormick, who got his nickname from an uncanny ability to ingest enormous quantities of Mountain Dew soda, said he has very limited experience with writing or with BDSM, but sees that as a key to his success.
"Listen," Cormick says, "I know lots of real writers have tried to copy the success of 50 Shades, but they are all writers or experts on BDSM. I don't know what I am doing or talking about, just like E.L. James. That is why I am going to succeed."
Media Updates and Web Features
NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics. These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between.
Here's a sample of three of our recent featured stories:
Who's Afraid of the Marquis de Sade? from the BBC
Folsom Street Fair 2014: 30 Images from a Day of Kinky Fun from LA.com
Is Kink a Sexual Orientation? from Slate
NCSF publishes the Updates to provide readers with a comprehensive look at what media outlets are writing about these topics and to urge everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. NCSF permits and encourages readers to forward these Updates where appropriate.
You can sign up to receive our emails here or check our blog at our website here.
NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts
and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!
In this issue
Susan Wright
You CAN go to law enforcement to report assault even if you're kinky. I get so mad when I hear people say, "You can't go to the cops," or "They'll treat you badly because you're kinky." Really? You tell your friend to crawl in a hole after they're assaulted? Why don't you offer to go with them to report it to law enforcement or to a hospital? Or call NCSF so I can work with the local victim services and help them report it.
Since I took over NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response program, I've made a lot of phone calls to professionals around the country in order to find good people who won't discriminate against us. And you know what? Our advocacy efforts are working. Even in the most conservative areas, there are judges, lawyers and social service workers who are already educated about kink and nonmonogamy. They know that what we do is consensual, and that assault is assault regardless of the way we have sex.
In January, I was contacted by several victims of a perpetrator in Maryland. These victims ended up reporting their assaults in two different counties in Maryland. The State's Attorney in one county moved forward with the case. The trial only took half a day. The victim testified, but she wasn't outed in the media, even though the incident in question was fairly sensational and took place at a camp event in front of other kinky people. The event where it happened wasn't harassed by law enforcement, and neither was the kinky club where the perpetrator then worked. The State's Attorney was only interested in the assault, not in harming the victims or the BDSM community. In fact, the victims were treated very well by everyone they dealt with.
Today the perpetrator was convicted of 2nd Degree Assault and was sentenced to a year in jail with two years probation and ordered by the court to attend an intervention program for intimate partner abuse.
If someone assaults you or your friend, then this is what can result if you go to the police. NCSF can help you. You don't have to stay quiet. Prosecutors will typically take on cases where there are witnesses, so assaults that happen at events are actually more prosecutable in their eyes than something that happens in private at home. Prosecutors also look at the physical evidence - if you were hurt in an assault ALWAYS go to the hospital or to your doctor or a community assistance center so they can take photographs of the damage that was done to you. Even if you don't know if you'll report it, you'll have the evidence if you do decide to report it later.
Also, prosecutors take it more seriously if there is more than one victim. When you report an assault and you don't have any physical evidence or witnesses, prosecutors may decide to wait to see if another victim comes forward. Multiple accusations carry more weight. But that can only happen if you report it.
You can quote all the stats you want to about the small percentage of assaults - especially sexual assaults - that go to trial. But when we don't even try to get justice, then zero convictions will take place. If we don't try to stop someone who is a serial predator, then they will go on to commit more crimes.
Our community can't keep people safe. We can't give out all the names of everyone who violates consent or somehow protect everyone at risk. That's why yelling names from the rooftops doesn't work. But reporting it to the police does work. That's why in this case, many of the group and event organizers quietly banned this person and pulled their events from the club while the perpetrator still worked there. They had to keep things quiet so the victim could pursue their case through the judicial system - remember that witness tampering is a serious charge.
I'm so proud of the victims for standing up for themselves and stopping the cycle of repeated assaults. I'm proud of the Mid-Atlantic community of organizers for how they handled this difficult situation. It's been a learning experience for a lot of us, and I think that reporting assault to the police was the way to properly deal with this.
NCSF's Incident Reporting: https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/incident-response/incident-response.html
Guest Blog: Poly in the Vanilla World
By Bjorn Paulee
Accepting this assignment for NCSF has been a difficult time, but not for reasons you may assume. One of the members of our poly family has been ill and in and out of the hospitals locally, and time has been precious more so than normally.
I've known that I was poly before the word existed while I was going through puberty. During my dating years, I was at one point going "steady" with four different girls at four different high schools. So what does it mean to be poly in a vanilla world? If I were to bring it down to the most concise phrase I could, it would be "emotional juggling," and if you think you desire it, you'd better be ready for it. Only those to whom it comes naturally seem to be able to do it consistently.
Our poly family right now is four and growing, with one under consideration and a number of others who may be asked if they want to be under consideration. The problem is whether they are ready for it and are poly by nature or have another agenda.
But let me go back to the topic of living in a vanilla world. At best, it is difficult. The national culture is not ready to accept polyamorous or polygamous relationships in the open. The result is that most alternate lifestylers are forced to lie in order to live the life they feel they need. Psychologically, that is not healthy. It also means that only the best liars are the ones that can survive without being outed.
I was a very good liar for many years, something I am not proud of. I was able to maintain vanilla relationships, while letting the needs I have play out. But it hurt others in the process. I have good relationships with my kids for the most part, but they were raised in such a manner that they knew who I was and why I had to live as I did. I have a close group of lifelong friends and most of them know about me, but some live very conservative lives and this is not something to wear on your sleeve and throw it in the faces of others.
A few years ago, I made the decision not to lie any more. For the most part, I've been able to hold true, but there are still times that cannot be helped. For instance, one of the members of our poly family was in the hospital and in order to get information about her condition and make good with the nursing staff and doctors, we needed to say we were part of her family, so she instantly became a sister-in-law to me. Sigh. As a result, we have now put an Advance Directive (Living Will) together and are working on more legal documents that long-term will allow us some legal rights. Again, it is difficult at best.
For me, there has been lots of conflict throughout my life for having to use personal skills and talents to be in the closet about swinging early on and polyamory in the later years when swinging was no longer providing satisfaction. I yearn to have multiple relationships and the variety it brings and I make a good partner, one who enables my partners and friends to be the best people they can be without being intimidating physically or emotionally. But for now, I am living a reasonable relaxed life, something I was never sure would happen.
Meet Your Board!
Winner of the most recent NCSF Volunteer of the Year award, Keira!
Do you have a history of activism and community involvement?
I try to be involved in my community, offering aid to the leaders and support to anyone who needs it, but I have never been much of an activist. NCSF is my only true activist endeavor.
The Red Chair
What is the mission of your group?
The Red Chair is a 501c non-profit corporation dedicated to providing education and support for adults that practice alternative lifestyles, particularly the BDSM lifestyle. TRC provides this via educational seminars, lectures, group discussions, and free form meetings. The group welcomes all sexual orientations, consensual relationships, and safe/sane/consensual BDSM practices without discrimination.
Media Updates and Web Features
NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics. These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between.
Here's a sample of three of our recent featured stories:
Going National by Race Bannon for the Bay Area Reporter
Unitarian Universalists Ratify Poly Inclusive Language in its Nondiscrimination Standards
Swingers: Inside the Secret World of Sex Clubs from ABC News
NCSF publishes the Updates to provide readers with a comprehensive look at what media outlets are writing about these topics and to urge everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. NCSF permits and encourages readers to forward these Updates where appropriate.
You can sign up to receive our emails here or check our blog at our website here.
Representatives from the NCSF are Out and About!
Here's a short sample:
NCSF Sponsors Atlanta Poly Weekend
Workshop and tabling at The Floating World! Board members Keira and Julian Wolf will be discussing Consent Counts in New Jersey at the end of July, as well as hosting a table.
And that's not all. Interested in having representatives from our organization at your event? Please contact us. We have board members scattered across the country and a dedicated team of Education Outreach Program speakers not to mention our small army of volunteers. We strive to accommodate our constituents, so please don't hesitate to let us know what you're looking for.Please email us.
NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts
and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!
In this issue
Take the Consent Violations Survey
DC Professional Dominatrixes Rock
NCSF Expands Its Legal Resources
Amicus Brief in Support of Consensual Nonmonogamy
Erotic Awakening interviews NCSF Board Member Jsin
Listen to NCSF Board Member Jsin's interview about NCSF that took place at the recent Beat Me in St. Louis. Hear what NCSF is doing to help people today! Jsin's interview starts at 15:30 min.
Take the Consent Violations Survey!
Please take this survey even if you've never had a consent violation. We want to know what are your power exchange and sexual identities? Are you "out" about being kinky? How often do you go to BDSM groups and online communities?
NCSF will use these results to help perform its advocacy, such as helping law enforcement, prosecutors and health care professionals understand the experiences of kinky people and provide better quality service.
Only takes 5-20 minutes to complete!
This survey is anonymous and your privacy is guaranteed by SurveyMonkey, a secured survey hosting website. NCSF does not have access to any identifying information about the participants.
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom www.ncsfreedom.org
The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom held its annual Coalition Partner meeting in Nashville, TN from March 14-16, 2014. The Coalition Partners voted in the new Board of Directors for NCSF, approved the 2014 budget, and brainstormed on NCSF's projects and goals for the coming year.
"The annual meeting gives NCSF's Coalition Partners the opportunity to tell the board where our focus should be in the coming year," says Chairman Kevin Carlson. "It's also their time to give us feedback on how we're conducting the day-to-day business of NCSF. The Board and staff of NCSF are now re-energized and eager to continue the good work of NCSF."
The CP representatives approved the new Financial and Control Policies which have an emphasis on transparency and accountability. The CP reps created an Ombuds Committee which will be responsible for reviewing actions by NCSF board and staff members. The CPs also received a full report on the forensic financial review and the results of the investigation into the theft of funds from the NCSF, and determined the next steps the Board should take in pursuing the restitution of those funds.
The CPs were eager to explore new ways of integrating NCSF programs with membership services and outreach efforts. They heard reports on the NCSF projects and programs including:
Keira Harris received NCSF's Volunteer of the Year Award for her work as Volunteer Director. Keira has created a volunteer program that is successful in filling the needs of NCSF's projects and programs. Because NCSF is an all volunteer organization, Keira's work is critical to its success.
NCSF thanks CPI-The Mark for hosting CP representatives, NCSF board members and staff at their party on Saturday night, and at the Sunday afternoon presentation on BDSM & the Law presented by Judy Guerin, Dick Cunningham and Susan Wright. NCSF also thanks Mercury and Samantha for organizing the annual meeting and welcoming everyone to Nashville.
Meet Your Board!
Your current NCSF Board is:
Kevin Carlson - Chairman - Boise, ID
Mark Richards - Secretary - New York, NY
Stephanie "Sassy" Lynn - NCSF Treasurer - Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN
Jim Fleckenstein - NCSF Foundation Treasurer - Manassas, VA
Devin MacLachlan - Fundraising Director - Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Laura Carlson - Education Outreach Director - Boise, ID
Keira Harris - Volunteer Director - New Orleans, LA
Mercury - Membership Director - Nashville, TN
Julian Wolf - Newsletter Director - Albuquerque, NM
Susan Wright - Media and Incident Reporting & Response Director - Phoenix, AZ
Fil Vocasek - New York, NY
Jsin - St. Louis, MO
NCSF is here to help you, so please help us! Support NCSF by becoming a member, volunteering or donating today! www.ncsfreedom.org
NCSF Expands Its Legal Resources
NCSF is pleased to announce the expansion of its Consent Counts legal resources to better serve our communities. Brian Flaherty, who has been the Legal Director for the Consent Counts project since NCSF assumed the project in 2008, will now serve as NCSF's overall Director of Legal Research. Dick Cunningham, who has been legal counsel to the Consent Counts project since its inception, now serves as NCSF's general legal counsel.
"This will significantly expand our legal resources to better support NCSF's media relations and Incident Reporting & Response," said Susan Wright, NCSF Founder and Board Member. "It will also provide our non-kink communities increased legal attention to polyamory and swing legal issues."
Brian has been instrumental in development of the Consent Counts project and is a professional law librarian as well as one of NCSF's Educational Outreach Program presenters. Dick has a long history of working on sexual freedom, civil rights and free speech legal issues. He is currently the senior international trade attorney at Steptoe & Johnson, LLP in Washington, DC.
Guest Blog
Polyamory As Orientation?
By Race Bannon
In a recent article in Modern Poly written by Saul-of-Hearts, a writer, musician and videographer based in Los Angeles and Portland, the idea that polyamory is an orientation, at least for the writer, was put forth. I posted the article titled "Polyamory As Orientation (And Why It Works For Me)" on Facebook and asked my online friends this question: "So what do you think? Is it similar to an orientation or not?"
The range of answers I got was interesting as discussions regarding polyamory often are, especially with my online friends who range from actively polyamorous to staunchly monogamous and everything in between. But one comment stood out and resonated with me the moment I read it. A friend offered this:
The writer assumes that all humans are not naturally capable of a romantic relationship with more than one individual. I don't like the term poly. Most research into modern hunter/gatherer societies has shown that monogamy is a modern phenomenon and socially constructed for the purposes of property management and inheritance.
Monogamy isn't an orientation, it's conditioning.
Poly isn't an orientation. It is our natural state.
This rings true for me. I also think being poly is our natural state and that monogamy has been imposed upon us by social conditioning. If you read heralded books like Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships, they offer the same conclusion. Of course, this position is controversial for many.
But for those of us who identify as poly and who live a poly life now, or have aspirations to do so, I think adopting the mindset that being poly is a natural state while monogamy is not would serve us well. However, the only caution I would offer is that this stance should not denigrate the decision that some will make to configure their relationships in a monogamous fashion. Just because we might put forth the notion that poly is a natural state does not mean that someone's choice to be monogamous is wrong or counter to nature, especially if that decision is truly made for reasons that work for the individuals involved and are not the result of social conditioning that makes those people miserable as they try to conform. Poly folks must always value the monogamous among us even as we live our lives in a different fashion. Diversity is the norm and therefore that means that people will decide to configure their relationships in diverse ways also. It's all good.
With all that said, I guess the most accurate statement I can make is that poly is natural for many people. I contend it's natural for most people, but the real point I want to make is that it's most certainly just as natural as monogamy is and perhaps, if social conditioning weren't a factor, might indeed by the more prevalent form of how we do relationships.
So while I don't think of myself being polyamorous as an orientation, I do embrace the notion that my poly life is indeed a natural state. It's certainly more natural for me than monogamy, both in terms of my sexuality and how I bond with others.
Let me know your thoughts about this by posting a comment.
NCSF Files Amicus Brief in Support of Consensual Nonmonogamy
Washington D.C. - NCSF has filed an amicus brief in a military case involving a marine who engaged in a consensual threesome and because of that was convicted of adultery, attempted consensual sodomy and indecent conduct, a "crime" based solely on undefined sexual conduct inconsistent with "common propriety."
In its brief, NCSF points out that military law is out of sync with U.S. Constitutional law and societal mores, especially when it comes to consensual sexual behaviors. Dick Cunningham, NCSF's Legal Counsel who prepared and filed the brief, said, "This is an important case in which we have challenged ways in which courts have criminalized consensual sexual conduct in what we regard as direct violation of the U.S. Supreme Court's landmark sexual freedom decision in Lawrence v. Texas."
Lawrence held that non-injurious consensual sex among adults cannot be criminally prosecuted, and that moral disapproval is not a sufficient justification for a criminal law. In this case, the military court used a spurious "public sex" argument to evade the Lawrence ruling.
Filing legal briefs is an important part of NCSF's mission in its attempts to decriminalize consensual adult sexual behavior. NCSF awaits the decision of the military court on whether its amicus brief will be accepted. To view NCSF's brief and case legal documents on this case, visit https://ncsfreedom.org/who-we-are/about-ncsf/item/715.html
NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts
and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!
In this issue
NCSF's Consent Violations Survey
An Obituary for Leigha Fleming
Coming Soon! NCSF's Consent Violations Survey
January 2014 is the big launch of NCSF's Consent Violations Survey. We need everyone to take this survey even if you've never had a consent violation.
We're also gathering important demographic info on your power exchange and sexual identities, whether you are "out" about being kinky, and what level of participation you have in BDSM groups and online communities.
It will take as little as 5 minutes to complete, and up to 20 minutes if you provide details of consent violations or accusations. This information will be used in NCSF's advocacy efforts with law enforcement, victim services and health care professionals.
This survey is anonymous and your privacy is guaranteed by Survey Monkey, a secured survey hosting website. NCSF will not have access to any identifying information about the participants.
Look for the link to the Consent Violations Survey soon!
Sexual Freedom Stories in the News
The national (and international) news is buzzing with stories relating to sexual freedom.
The New York Times reported "A Utah Law Prohibiting Polygamy Is Weakened," one of our contributing writers Tamara Pincus was interviewed by the Huffington Post, and the Oxford Student discussed BDSM Consent among other things.
Curious about what's going on in the world and what the NCSF pays particular attention to? You can check out our Blog anytime you'd like, it's always live at the NCSF website. We also send out regular Media Updates right to your inbox, to help you stay on top of things. Here's a link or find it below) if you haven't already signed up.
Sharing is caring! You can forward our newsletters, media updates and press releases to your friends by clicking the link at the bottom of our mailings. Keep in the know with the NCSF.
An Obituary for Leigha Fleming
Leigha Fleming passed away on December 19, 2013, after a longstanding illness. She was 43 years old. Leigha received a wound that became infected in August 2012, and suffered through numerous operations before she finally succumbed to the infection.
We would like to remember all the hard work Leigha did for NCSF as Chairman from 2008-2013, and as Incident Reporting & Response Director for nearly 12 years. At various times Leigha was also the Executive Director, Treasurer and Education Outreach Program Director since she started volunteering for NCSF in 2000.
Leigha personally helped thousands of individuals, groups and businesses who suffered discrimination and persecution due to their interest in BDSM, swinging and polyamory. Those people who she touched will never forget that she was there to help them when they needed it the most.
Leigha devoted a large part of her life to making sure that NCSF ran smoothly and that our volunteers and staff were doing their jobs. She took great pride in the fact that she played a key part in putting NCSF's infrastructure on a solid footing. The staff and Board members of NCSF will certainly feel the loss with Leigha gone.
As many people suffer the loss of someone considered a friend or even mentor, we hope to celebrate all the good that Leigha propagated in her lifetime, and we are grateful for the positive changes she so frequently inspired.
Leigha regretted at the end that she had little time left and no way to make restitution to NCSF. Her last words to NCSF were: "I am sorry."
Rest in Peace.
NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts
and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!
In this issue
Come talk about BDSM and consent!
Come Talk about BDSM and consent!
NCSF's Consent Counts project is holding discussions around the country to gather your input on our Consent Statement so we can move forward to change laws and perceptions of BDSM. Kinky people still have significant legal, political and societal issues facing us. The majority of us fear the very real threat of being prosecuted or losing our jobs or families. To change the assault laws, we have to be able to tell the world what we think of consent. What is ethical consent? What are the gray areas? Are there things people shouldn't be able to consent to in a BDSM context?
"The APA has made it clear that being kinky is not a mental disorder," says Susan Wright, Spokesperson for NCSF. "That means people no longer have to fear being diagnosed as mentally ill just because they belong to a BDSM group. We've already seen the impact -NCSF immediately saw a sharp rise in the success rate of child custody cases for kinky parents after the proposed DSM-5 criteria was released three years ago."
NCSF would like to thank everyone who participated in signing our DSM Revision Petition and for telling the APA about their own stories of discrimination and persecution. NCSFalso thanks every member of the APA Paraphilias Subworkgroup for responding to our concerns, and drawing a hard line between consensual adult kinky sex and those who willfully engage in nonconsensual or harmful activities.
NCSF is proud to build on the work of kink-aware professionals who have come before us, including Race Bannon and Guy Baldwin, who helped make seminal changes in the DSM-IV in 1994.
The following are some statements about the various paraphilias in the DSM-5. Although highly clinical in language, they show the APA's intent to not demand treatment for healthy consenting adult sexual expression:
"A paraphilia is a necessary but not a sufficient condition for having a paraphilic disorder, and a paraphilia by itself does not necessarily justify or require clinical intervention." p. 686
"In contrast, if they declare no distress, exemplified by anxiety, obsessions, guilt or shame, about these paraphilic impulses, and are not hampered by them in pursuing other personal goals, they could be ascertained as having masochistic sexual interest but should not be diagnosed with a sexual masochism disorder." p. 694
"Many individuals who self-identify as fetishist practitioners do not necessarily report clinical impairment in association with their fetish-associated behaviors. Such individuals could be considered as having a fetish but not fetishistic disorder." p. 701
"Clinical assessment of distress or impairment, like clinical assessment of transvestic sexual arousal, is usually dependent on the individual's self-report." p. 703
To support NCSF, go to www.ncsfreedom.org. NCSF relies entirely on your donations toadvance the rights of consenting adults and to do advocacy like our DSM Revision Project. Please donate now!
The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (often referred to as NCSF) is committed to creating a political, legal and social environment in the United States that advances equal rights for consenting adults who engage in alternative sexual and relationship expressions. But why should the BDSM, leather, fetish, swing and polyamory communities that are the focus of NCSF's efforts, and their friends and allies, support our work? Good question.
Perhaps the best way to demonstrate the importance of supporting, joining or otherwise empowering the work that NCSF does is to clearly lay out some of the many services we offer, initiatives we've undertaken and informative collateral that we offer.
Our History
NCSF was formed in 1997 by a small group led by Susan Wright under the auspices of the New York SM Activists. The goal was to fight for sexual freedom and privacy rights for all adults who engage in safe, sane and consensual behavior.
The first five organizations who joined reflected our desire to be a nationwide organization: National Leather Association-International; Gay Male S/M Activists; The Eulenspiegel Society; Black Rose; and Society of Janus.
Today, NCSF has over 100 Coalition Partners who elect the board that runs NCSF and help establish our goals at the annual Coalition Partner meeting. Coalition Partners are groups and businesses who serve BDSM/leather/fetish, swing and polyamory practitioners and also support NCSF by holding an annual fundraiser. NCSF also has over 100 Supporting Members - groups and businesses that support NCSF.
Over the years, NCSF has formed alliances with other organizations that defend sexual freedom rights: Free Speech Coalition, the ACLU, American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, and the Gay and Lesbian Activist Alliance, among others.
NCSF is the preeminent organization with a mission to improve the lives of those who consider themselves practitioners or community members among those who pursue BDSM/leather/fetish or swing sexualities or engage in polyamorous relationships.
What We Do
NCSF does many things to advance the rights of those who engage in consensual BDSM/leather/fetish, swing and polyamory lives. The best way to get a good sense of the full range of activities, projects and services that NCSF offers is to view the following sections that explain in some detail what NCSF has been up to lately.
Consent Counts
NCSF took over leadership in the nationwide Consent Counts project working to decriminalize BDSM and create a database of relevant state laws.
The Consent Counts project involves the BDSM communities in a nationwide education and activism program coordinated and led by NCSF. This multifaceted campaign includes a comprehensive analysis of current laws and court decisions, the development of legal arguments for changing the laws, participating in court cases, and ultimately, through lobbying, education and grass-roots activism, changing state laws and the way the public and the courts view BDSM.
An important element of the project is an Educational Outreach Program (EOP) to educate our own communities about the current state of the law and the efforts NCSF is undertaking to involve those communities in our strategic planning process and the development of "best practices" by which we can protect ourselves and facilitate change.
To ensure that the work NCSF is doing as part of Consent Counts is based on the best information possible, An Internet survey was undertaken by NCSF gauge respondents' views on consent in a BDSM context. There were a total of 5,667 respondents and the results guide the Consent Counts project and were utilized in developing the draft of the NCSF Consent Statement. This is an official statement presented as a discussion of the ethical and legal concepts of consent that need to be considered in the practice of BDSM activities and in relationships based on BDSM activities. It reflects both the extensive study by NCSF of the state of the law in the U.S. and the results of NCSF's Consent Counts Survey. This Statement is intended for both BDSM practitioners and the general public.
Incident Reporting and Response
NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response (IRR) was created to provide assistance to individuals and groups within the alternative sexual expression communities. If someone engaged in BDSM, fetish, swing or polyamory practices is being persecuted or discriminated against because of it, we encourage them to contact NCSF's IRR program. We may also be able to assist if a group or business is being harassed by religious political extremists or if they need assistance doing outreach to their local law enforcement.
NCSF's IRR program uses three primary criteria for taking a case:
Our IRR program may be able to assist with city and county mediation (zoning, licensing, and so on), custody and divorce information, employee and personnel issues, kink-aware professional referrals, criminal assistance, domestic violence assistance, and assisting when events are attacked (working with police, media, health departments, and so on).
Due to limited resources NCSF is only able to take a fraction of the cases that come to us. Many of the complaints we receive do not meet all of the above criteria. Even under the best circumstances, NCSF can only help a small percentage of those who merit it. All of our work is done by volunteers and we accept no payment for our services.
Kink Aware Professionals
The Kink Aware Professionals Directory (often referred to as KAP) offers the alternative sexualities and relationship communities referrals to psychotherapy, medical, legal and other professionals who are knowledgeable about and sensitive to diverse expressions of sexuality and relationships.
While NCSF cannot endorse or recommend these professionals, each professional listed has volunteered to be available for referral to people involved in kinky sexuality (leather, BDSM, fetish, and so on), polyamory, swinging, or publicly offers their services to that client population.
Resource Library
NCSF compiles a wide array of educational and informational materials on a variety of topics. We organize them in our online Resource Library for easy and free access to the public. Categories include Activist Resources, Consent Counts resources, DSM Resources, Educational Outreach Program Presentations and Publications, Kink Aware Professionals (for both professionals and those seeking assistance), Media Outreach Resources, NCSF Publicity Materials, Recommended Reading, Statistics and Surveys, and What is SM? Check out the amazing array of resources available to you for free from NCSF.
Amid the categories of resources already mentioned you'll find many other useful documents for groups and event producers that assist in specific ways such as membership forms for social groups or private clubs, non-disclosure agreements, independent contractors agreements, employee work environment agreements, model release agreements, event/play space rules, recommendations for event planning, hotel negotiations manual, and a statement for hotel personnel when a hotel is attacked.
Educational Outreach
One of the missions of the NCSF Foundation and its Education Outreach Program (EOP) is to provide members of the BDSM/Leather/Fetish, swing and polyamory communities educational information concerning relevant legal, medical and other issues. We also provide education, as appropriate, to law enforcement, care providers, and other authorities about alternative sexuality, and to assist and support the outreach and education efforts of local communities.
As part of EOP, NCSF works with District Attorneys and prosecutors to educate them with the intent to minimize discriminatory prosecutions, offers workshops by trained staff on a wide variety of topics, publishes white papers for professionals and members of the various communities, offers educational brochures and handouts, and conducts surveys on our community and publishes those results for others to utilize.
Media Outreach Program Media Training, News and Information
Through our Media Outreach Program NCSF does media advocacy for the millions of Americans who suffer discrimination and persecution because of their normal interest in some form of alternative sexual expression, such as BDSM, fetishes, polyamory, and swinging. A great deal of the bigotry against sexual minorities occurs because of a lack of information and the resulting negative depiction by the media. We offer resources for both the media and the alternative sexual expression communities.
NCSF also offers assistance to organizations and event producers by helping them with press releases, intervention during a media crisis, media spokesperson representation, media training and ongoing support, and suggested sound bites and interview tips.
In addition to our Media Outreach and Training Programs, NCSF offers news and information to our constituency through a variety of communication mechanisms.
Blog - News and information items are posted to our blog on a regular basis. Sometimes posts are originally authored articles and sometimes they are media updates which are a sampling of recent stories printed in U.S. newspapers, magazines, and selected websites. These stories contain significant mentions of BDSM/leather/fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics and may be positive, negative, or anywhere in between.
In The News - Learn how NCSF is impacting lives for the better.
NCSF Newsletter - NCSF regularly publishes a free newsletter to which anyone can subscribe.
Press Releases - When NCSF undertakes an important project, gets involved in important issues, or otherwise wants its constituency and the world at large to know about something, we issue press releases.
DSM Revision Project
NCSF has successfully petitioned the American Psychiatric Association, resulting in the depathologizing of consensual BDSM in the latest Diagnostic & Statistics Manual (DSM). This helps not only those seeking psychotherapy treatment by not having their sexuality called into question during therapy, but also improves community members' legal standing in certain court cases when the DSM has been used as evidence.
When the American Psychiatric Association formed their working committees to revise its most recent version of the DSM, the definitive resource on the diagnostic criteria for all mental disorders, NCSF became involved. Past statements within the DSM paraphilias criteria are contradicted by scientific evidence and therefore NCSF concluded that the interpretation of the paraphilias criteria had been not based on science. These often politically motivated interpretations subject BDSM practitioners, fetishists and cross-dressers to bias, discrimination and social sanctions without any scientific basis. We called on the American Psychiatric Association to remove or drastically restructure the paraphilias section in the DSM which resulted in some considerable success.
BDSM Survey
The 2008 Survey of Violence & Discrimination Against Sexual Minorities found significant discrimination and persecution against BDSM practitioners due to the social stigma attached to their sexual behavior. With over 3,000 respondents, 37.5% indicated that they had either been discriminated against or experienced some form of harassment or violence.
The survey addresses the gap in current knowledge by reporting data on the prevalence of violence and discrimination against BDSM and polyamory practitioners. The persecution of these individuals is conceptualized as a manifestation of sexual stigma, that is, society's negative regard for any non- heterosexual behavior, identity, relationship, or community.
NCSF Materials
NCSF provides brochures and other NCSF materials for dissemination at events or to be used by organizations, clubs and other groups. A great example of such material is the Consent Counts Discussion Guide. The Consent Counts Discussion Guide offers groups a structured and organized way to foster discussion in their local alternative sexualities communities about the topic of consent. Visit our website to view the various materials we can offer.
More Information and Contacting NCSF
NCSF maintains a robust website on which you'll find lots of great information as well how to contact us. On our website we also include an event calendar listing NCSF and Coalition Partners events. We have a wide array of social media venues that keep our constituency and the public at large informed about NCSF and related news and information. We encourage people to bookmark our website and to keep informed about NCSF and related news and information through our social media platforms.
FetLife News
FetLife Consent Counts
Through the use of social media and virtual communications, NCSF provides its members, partners and the general public continuous updates regarding news, legislation, trends and information of interest to the BDSM, leather, kink, swing and poly communities.
Supporting NCSF
People and organizations can support NCSF in a number of ways. By supporting NCSF, you help keep our important programs and services alive. NCSF operates through the financial contributions and volunteer efforts of wonderful people around the nation and world.
People and organizations can join NCSF as members at one of three levels of membership:
Coalition Partners - Our highest level of membership. Coalition Partners support NCSF through annual membership fees plus proceeds of an annual fundraiser for the benefit of NCSF.
Supporting Members - Individuals or organizations support NCSF with an annual membership fee.
Shop NCSF
NCSF has a number of branded products that you can purchase. Profits from the sale of these products go directly to work helping NCSF do the important work we do.
NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts
and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!
In this issue
NCSF's Coalition Partners Join Together for Consent Summit
NCSF presents at Yale Law School's RebLaw
NCSF Launches Fire Recovery Fund
NCSF's Coalition Partners Join Together for Consent Summit
The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom held its annual Coalition Partner meeting in Phoenix, Arizona from February 8-10, 2013. The Consent Summit took place Friday evening, and Coalition Partners were able to participate via streaming video to give their input on the new Consent Statement. Go to www.ncsfreedom.org to see the Consent Statement and comment on it.
"The Consent Statement is now launched to the BDSM-leather-Fetish communities for input until July 1st," says Judy Guerin, Director of Consent Counts. "This statement outlines the current legal climate in regards to BDSM practices, and describes the ethical responsibilities of kinky people, as well. The Consent Statement will be used to change assault laws so that consensual BDSM won't be mistaken for assault."
One focus of the weekend was how to move forward now that a fire has destroyed the NCSF office. An emergency fund drive is underway to raise money to replace what was lost in the fire. Please help us reach our goal!
The new board of directors voted in Kevin Carlson as Chairman, Mark Richards as Secretary, and John Baku as Treasurer. The CPs also heard reports on NCSF projects and some of the stats include:
Incident Reporting and Response received nearly 500 calls for help
The Kink Aware Professionals list is up to nearly 1,200 professionals
The Media Outreach Project gave over 60 interviews
Over 600 NCSF Facebook page members and nearly 5,000 twitter followers
98 Coalition Partners!
Friday evening's Pizza Meet & Greet was sponsored by the AZ TNG, while lunch Saturday was sponsored by FetLife and lunch on Sunday at the APEX BBQ was sponsored by AZ Men of Leather. NCSF thanks APEX for welcoming CP representatives, NCSF board members and staff to their APEX Dungeon Party on Saturday night, and at their Sunday afternoon BBQ and NCSF Meet & Greet. NCSF also thanks Kelly Beaton, Master Bleu Sadist, slave alena girl, and Karen for volunteering and helping out in all sorts of necessary ways at the meeting!
NCSF helps you, so please help us in our time of need! Support us by becoming a member or donating today!
After our elections at the annual meeting and an executive session that included appointing members, the Board of NCSF currently consists of:
Kevin Carlson - Chairman - Boise, ID
Mark Richards - Secretary - New York, NY
John Baku - Treasurer - Vancouver, BC
Race Bannon - San Francisco, CA
Laura Carlson - Boise, ID
Jim Fleckenstein - Manassas, VA
Leigha Fleming - Fort Worth, TX
Vivienne Kramer - San Diego, CA
Mercury - Nashville, TN
Stephanie "Sassy" Lynn - Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN
Julian Wolf - Albuquerque, NM
Susan Wright - Phoenix, AZ
NCSF presents at Yale Law School's RebLaw (Rebellious Lawyering) Conference
by Judy
Over 150 attendees packed the room at Yale Law School's 19th annual RebLaw (Rebellious Lawyering) Conference, the nation's largest student-run public interest conference, for a panel discussion which included NCSF. The discussion, "Safe Words? Legal Restrictions on Consent and Radical Sex" was conducted by three panelists: Judy Guerin, NCSF's Consent Count's Director, Ignacio Rivera, a two-spirit gender fluid kinkster whose work focuses on queer, trans, kink and sexual liberation issues within a race/class dynamic and Alexis Agathocieous, a staff attorney at the Center for Constitutional Rights who has worked on a successful case fighting a Louisiana law that required sex workers to register in the state's sex offender database. The panel was facilitated by Yale Law students Adrien A. Weibgen and Ryan Richard Thoreson.
The discussion was heavily focused on the issue of consent in the context of BDSM relationships and prosecution of BDSM as both assault and, more recently, under Federal trafficking laws. A connection between prosecution of sex workers and BDSM practitioners under Federal trafficking laws was discussed. The discussion also included a focus on the religious political extremists strategy to discredit the GLBTQ movement by tying it to practitioners of alternative sexuality. The fact that sodomy laws, although overturned by the 2003 Lawrence v. Texasdecision, as well as other antiquated sex laws, are still on the books in many states and are still being used to prosecute people was highlighted. NCSF introduced its recent statement on consent and its summary of the legal situation related to BDSM assault prosecutions, "Consent and BDSM: The State of the Law", as well as some of its recent survey results and examples of BDSM prosecutions for consensual BDSM.
NCSF Launches Fire Recovery Fund
The NCSF office in Baltimore, MD, was destroyed in a fire a few weeks ago. We've lost everything: computer, office supplies and furnishings, tee shirts, and all of our stored printed literature are gone. The Board of Directors along with our Coalition Partners and dedicated volunteers are working hard to recover from this tragedy, but much of that recovery takes money.
As part of the recovery effort, NCSF has launched the NCSF Fire Recovery Fund campaign with a goal of raising $20,000 to help us get back up and running so that we can continue to do the important work we do for the BDSM-leather-fetish, swing and polyamory communities.
We are asking anyone who is able to donate to the NCSF Fire Recovery Fund drive:
Donations are tax deductible!
And whether you are able to donate or not, we would appreciate you getting the word out about the fundraising campaign. If you visit the fund donation page linked to above, you'll see icons that allow you to share the page on Facebook, Google+, Twitter and through email. Please share with your network and encourage them to donate.
Some organizations have been NCSF Coalition Partners for as long as the NCSF has been around, and many of them will say: being a CP means holding a fundraiser.
Yes, and then, no.
The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom exists just as it says - as a coalition of people and organizations who believe in sexual freedom for everyone. Our Coalition Partners come to the organization charged to do really, just two things - to fundraise and more importantly - to participate.
The range of programs and services at the NCSF evolved as people just like you showed they were needed. When parties get busted, or people come out to picket events, contacting the NCSF is often the first phone call that gets made. When individuals in crisis call, NCSF responders are often the first understanding and sympathetic voice the caller will hear. We continued to maintain the Kink Aware Professionals list after founder Race Bannon was looking for another entity to take over because our partners spoke up and said it was important to keep the service going.
It is the 'speaking out' that is the most important function of a Coalition Partner. The NCSF is only as good as our partners' ability to bring to the table the real needs of our community. Protecting and advancing our sexual freedom will mean many different things to different Coalition Partners. Remember, the NCSF advocates for Swing and Polyamory communities as well as the BDSM/Kink communities. That diversity is why Consent Counts is at the very core of work being done by the NCSF. It matters to everyone.
At the past Coalition Partners meeting, someone referred to "50 Shades of Grey" as the BDSM/Kink communities' "Stonewall". Stonewall was a bar in New York where gay men first fought back from police oppression and aggression. It is often pointed to as the event that started the GLBT rights movement. While often these types of defining events have roots in fighting back, they don't all have to be negative. The overwhelming world interest in "50 Shades of Grey" threw back the shroud that has hovered around BDSM practices for centuries. It drew the interest of the world because it blazed a light on sexual practices that have been considered taboo. If it has opened the door to less oppression, greater inclusion, fewer custody cases, and less police and legal interaction in the BDSM community - then indeed - "50 Shades of Grey" IS our Stonewall --- and we can feel blessed that it lacked the violence.
Coalition Partners bring this level of community thinking to a single table. They bring concerns, problems and opportunities for all of us to consider as we safeguard our sexual freedom. The depth and breadth of the NCSF sits in the lap of every Coalition Partner. When you talk about the issues, the problems, and the services needed to keep your local community vibrant, risk averse, and cohesive, realize that when you advance those thoughts to the NCSF through a Coalition Partner, you have helped contribute to a larger network that can make a difference. That is the real gift that Coalition Partners bring to the NCSF...as well as that annual fundraiser.
NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts
and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!
In this issue
NCSF 2013 Coalition Partner Meeting in Phoenix
Scholarships Available for Annual Meeting
Meet Your Board: Candidates for Reelection
Foundation Liaison to Present at Poly Living
NCSF 2013 Coalition Partner Meeting in Phoenix, Arizona, on February 8-10
Please mark this date in your calendars.
In order to make reservations at the Drury Inn & Suites Phoenix Airport and get the group rate of $109, please reference group #2151272 when you call 800-325-0720 or go online at www.druryhotels.com
Join us for our summit on the proposed NCSF Statement on Consent on Friday evening, 7-9pm at the Drury Inn. All CP reps who can't make it to the meeting may participate via video conferencing. The Consent Statement will be released in advance of the meeting, but this will be the time to give a final yeah or nay to it before our official launch.
There will be a big party at Arizona Power Exchange (APEX) on Saturday evening that attendees of the CPmeeting may attend, however APEX requires that you become a member at least 24 hours in advance. We can sign up everyone who wants to attend on Friday evening before 8pm. APEX provides a New Member 30-day all access pass for $20.00 for 30 days which would include the party admission (which is $15.00 alone). APEX also extends reciprocal membership privileges to members of Desert Dominion, Lair De Sade North, Ohio SMART, Denver Sanctuary, Society of Janus and Threshold.
APEX has also invited everyone to their monthly BBQ on Sunday starting at noon. It's a great way to meet the local community and relax after the annual meeting.
Scholarships Available for Annual Meeting
Kevin's Non Profit History
Why are you running for reelection?Generally, I consider myself a well rounded person. I enjoy what I do. My focus in the communities is on acceptance and bringing the voice of acceptance to all. A big part of what is going to provide acceptance is education to those who may not be aware. Without education, tolerance is out of the question. We are just people like anyone else, with jobs, families, friends and all those bills. I believe in the voice of the NCSF and its activities to further acceptance for all.
Foundation Liaison to Present at Poly Living Conference
Although he'd love to be in Phoenix for the Annual CP Meeting, NCSF board member and NCSF Foundation liaison Jim Fleckenstein will be in Philadelphia that weekend instead. Jim will be presenting at the annual Poly Living Conference, sponsored by the Loving More nonprofit, and representing NCSF at this major annual gathering of the polyamory community. Jim will be presenting on the results of the largest ever survey of the non-exclusive relationship community, an effort sponsored by Loving More and endorsed by NCSF. NCSF's outreach to the polyamory community is an essential part of our overall mission to support all of our constituencies, and unfortunately, the revised dates of the CP meeting coincided with this major polyamory community event. "I regret having to miss the CP meeting this year, " Fleckenstein noted, "but this continuing commitment to reach out to the polyamory community is a very important priority for NCSF and for me personally."
NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts
and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!
In this issue
NCSF 2013 Coalition Partner Meeting in Phoenix
NCSF 2013 Coalition Partner Meeting in Phoenix, Arizona, on February 8-10
Please mark this date in your calendars!
In order to make reservations at the Drury Inn & Suites Phoenix Airport and get the group rate of $109, please reference group #2151272 when you call 800-325-0720 or go online at www.druryhotels.com
There will be a big party at APEX on Saturday evening that attendees of the CP meeting may attend, however APEX requires that you become a member at least 24 hours in advance. We can sign up everyone who wants to attend at the Meet & Greet at the Drury Inn on Friday evening before 8pm. APEX provides a New Member 30-day all access pass for $20.00 for 30 days which would include the party admission (which is $15.00 alone). APEX also extends reciprocal membership privileges to members of Desert Dominion, Lair De Sade North, Ohio SMART, Denver Sanctuary, Society of Janus and Threshold.
NCSF - National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts
and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!
International Swingers Day 2012
Just over an hour outside of Puerto Plata, in the Dominican Republic.
What classes did you offer?
Leigha taught Swing Groups and Zoning, Protecting Yourself Legally, Swing Groups and Law Enforcement, and SM101.
Were you able to attend any other classes, and if so, what did you think?
They are extremely professional, well organized and very business/sales adept.
That sounds like a blast! What was your favorite part of the event?
My favorite part was how welcoming, warm, and friendly this group was. It was incredible to see the light bulbs going off in their heads as NCSF presented on legal, zoning, and ethical issues. I also felt great about the networking connections made, and the enthusiasm exhibited by the attendees to "do it right."
Thank you Lucinda for your work, and for taking the time to be interviewed. The NCSF aims to advance the rights of, and advocate for consenting adults in the BDSM-Leather-Fetish, Swing, and Polyamory Communities, and the work that you and Leigha did at International Swingers day helps us with those goals.
NCSF was loud and proud at FetFest this past Labor Day weekend, with lots of fundraisers and Consent Counts discussions scheduled with the various FetFest villages. John Baku of FetLife joined NCSF to talk about consent with the Poly Village on Friday evening, the Goddess & FemDom Villages at their Saturday morning Champagne Brunch, the Hypnosis Village at Saturday Munch, and the open consent discussion in the Dungeon Tent on Sunday afternoon.
NCSF also gives a big thanks to everyone who helped organize and run the fundraisers. Everyone had a great time and raised a lot of money-in all, $3,120 went to NCSF. From the Cigars, Boots and Chocolates party on Friday evening, to the Bouncytown treat boxes, to the World Record in Needles, everyone came out and supported NCSF. NCSF also thanks Paul, Simon and the great staff of FetFest who enabled us to raise some much-needed funds.
1) Do you have a history of activism and community involvement?
Yes. I was a co-founder of the Chesapeake Polyamory Network in 1998, and founded the Institute for 21st Century Relationships, which is now the NCSF Foundation, in 2000. I've also been involved in swing organizations as a consultant.
2) What specialties do you bring to the board?
I enjoyed a 28 year career in non-profit organization management, including development, marketing, volunteer development, event planning, and education. I also bring the perspective of a person rooted in the polyamory community, with crossover knowledge of the swinging and kink communities. I'm also a respected academic researcher and community-based educator who has presented at numerous American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors & Therapists conferences, and also at the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality.
3) What inspired you to become involved in NCSF?
NCSF is an established organization with a broad constituency. I worked with NCSF while I ran ITCR as an independent organization because we served overlapping constituencies. I was very pleased to bring my portfolio to the NCSF board to help advance its mission and broaden its outreach to other constituencies within the broad spectrum of sexual and relationship minorities.
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