text:
Neurology, Psychiatry Grand RoundsEvent Details: 8:00 a.m. - 9:00 a.m., January 06
The department of neurology and psychiatry will host grand rounds in two different locations from 8-9 a.m. Thursday, Jan. 6.
The neurology division lecture will be held at Schwitalla Hall, lecture hall 1. The entrance is through the Learning Resource Center, 3544 Caroline Mall.
Robert A. Nicholson, Ph.D. will present the neurology division lecture, "Behavioral and Non-Pharmacological Management of Headache."
Nicholson, associate professor, obtained his bachelor's degree from Abilene Christian University and earned his doctorate in clinical psychology, specializing in behavioral medicine, at Virginia Commonwealth University, including training at the Medical College of Virginia.
He completed a pre-doctoral internship and post-doctoral research fellowship in the department of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University Medical School.
In 2008, Nicholson joined the faculty in the department of neurology and psychiatry at Saint Louis University School of Medicine. He also holds an adjunct appointment in the School of Public Health.
Nicholson's primary focus is the area of migraine headache management and prevention. His main research focuses on ways to improve ongoing migraine care by combining behavioral principles and advanced communication technologies.
He is focused on creating maximally effective patient communication strategies for the prevention and management of migraine, evaluating the influence of cognitive and affective factors in managing migraines (especially as it relates to adherence and headache-related disability), and improving headache-related disability metrics.
He also is an active collaborator with Mercy Health Research and the Ryan Headache Center in St. Louis. He works with the research team to develop, implement, analyze, and publish investigator-initiated research in the prevention and acute management of headaches.
He has received multiple grants from the National Institute of Neurologic Disorders and Stroke, the National Cancer Institute, the National Headache Foundation, Saint Louis University and the private sector to support his research.
He has also received multiple awards throughout his career from local and national organizations. Nicholson has published extensively and has made more than 60 research presentations at scientific and professional conferences.
The psychiatry division program will be in the Learning Resource Center (LRC), 3544 Caroline Mall, Pitlyk Auditorium C.
The speaker is J. Reid Meloy, Ph.D., who will present "Stalking: The State of the Science."
Reid Meloy is a diplomate in forensic psychology of the American Board of Professional Psychology and consults on criminal and civil cases throughout the U.S. and Europe.
He is a clinical professor of psychiatry at UC San Diego, School of Medicine, an adjunct professor at the University of San Diego School of Law and a faculty member of the San Diego Psychoanalytic Institute.
He is a fellow of the American Academy of Forensic Sciences and is past president of the American Academy of Forensic Psychology. He has received numerous awards from various professional organizations and is president of Forensis, Inc., a nonprofit, public benefit corporation devoted to forensic psychiatric and psychological research.
Meloy has authored or co-authored several hundred papers published in peer-reviewed psychiatric and psychological journals, and has authored, co-authored or edited ten books.
His first book, The Psychopathic Mind, was an integration of the biological and psychodynamic understanding of psychopathy.
His most recent edited book, Stalking, Threatening and Attacking Public Figures, has received wide acclaim, and led to a commissioned study for the National Academy of Sciences on threats toward public figures.
Stephen White and he created the WAVR-21 (Specialized Training Services, 2008), the first scientifically based structured professional judgment instrument for workplace violence assessment.
Meloy is also a consultant to the counterintelligence division of the FBI and intermittently teaches at the Behavioral Analysis Units in Quantico. He is a member of the Fixated Research Group for the United Kingdom's Home Office concerning threats to the Royal Family and British political figures and also teaches for the Netherlands National Police.
He has been a technical consultant to the television program CSI since its inception in 2001.


text:
Hi there,
I was playing BF3 online and suddenly my game crashes. It says to due some communication error with some punk buster file. System kinda becomes laggy then. couldnt rejoin a game as BF3 would open but would be unresponsive.
So i try to restart the pc, it takes forever to shut down, so i hit the restart button. But after that, it seems to freeze on the boot screen. takes 2 mins to get past it and on to the login screen. then i login, but a black screen for 5 mins. seems like its reloading the user profile for the first time on the system but all my destop icons were there when i finally got there.
My network icon had the blue circle around it like it was loading. but internet was working fine. apps would open but be unresponsive.
I have win 8 installed too on the same pc on dual boot and that works fine.
Any ideas?

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Welcome to iapsales.com LLC our corporate sits has been recently hacked we are working to get back online again..our E Commerce website it www.heateroutlet.com
We are open between 9 AM to 5 PM Eastern Time M-F EST
You can reach our office staff by calling
Toll Free # : (800) 416 1298
Local Tel # : (603) 778 7143
Fax: (603) 778 3014
Email: firstname.lastname@example.com or email@example.com
About Us
Iapsales.com LLC was established in 2003 and is the sister company to Innovative Air Products located in historical Exeter, NH. Innovative Air Products was established 32 years ago as a manufacturer's representative dedicated to providing commercial heating, ventilation and air-conditioning equipment to schools, hospitals, office buildings, factories, warehouses and various other large corporate buildings throughout Massachusetts, Maine, Vermont and New Hampshire.
Iapsales.com LLC targets its efforts towards residential home improvement products while maintaining and utilizing the expertise gained from years of being immersed within the HVAC industry. This company markets and sells its products solely over the internet.
We are a small company and throughout our 30 + years in business we have learned two very important keys to success: honesty and integrity. We understand that every customer has different needs and we will work to make sure that you purchase the product that is right for you. We pledge our commitment to you by maintaining extensive product knowledge for all of the items that we offer through continued factory training and on-site visits to the factory plants. Our goal is to provide you continued expert sales support and superior customer service as we have with our many satisfied customers throughout the years.
We are authorized dealers for the merchandise that we sell and only promote products that we fully support. Many of our items have been pre-tested in our own homes for efficiency, durability and quality. If the product does not meet our high standards or we receive unacceptable factory customer service we will no longer offer that item through our company. It is important to us that you are satisfied with the product that you purchase and that it meets all of your expectations. If it does not, we will work with you to rectify the problem.
On behalf of all of us, we thank you for purchasing products through our company and hope to serve you in the future as well. We encourage you to call us on our toll free line or e-mail us with any questions that you may have.


text:
Michigan Raw Milk Case Seems to Be Winding Up, Decision on Charges Could Come Within Two Weeks
Will he or won't he? Victor Fitz is the Cass County prosecutor, and the decision about whether to file charges against Richard Hebron and anyone else associated with Michigan's Family Farm Cooperative in connection with distribution of raw milk to cow share owners is in his hands.
I spoke with him this afternoon and, while I couldn't get him to say what his decision will be, I learned that the investigation has essentially wrapped up and a decision on charges should come within two weeks. He said he and his staff are still reviewing the evidence—from the Michigan Department of Agriculture (MDA), as well as from agents in Indiana and Pennsylvania, who investigated farms supplying product to the Family Farm Cooperative. "In a week or two, we'll have that completed and take the next step, whatever that may be."
(It's worth pointing out that Fitz told me in late October that there was "a high likelihood" there would be a decision in a week; his office has since blamed delays in receiving the MDA's report on the case.)
He indicated that while his office now has a full report from the MDA, it hasn't received complete reports from the Indiana and Pennsylvania investigations. Nonethess, that "will not delay this matter."
When I asked him about possible federal charges stemming from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration's involvement, he said he was "not specifically aware of a federal component." But he did raise the possibility that other Michigan counties could file their own charges "because product was being transported across the state." He steadfastly refused to say whether he was aware of any other counties actively considering filing charges. It is known that in Washtenaw County, where Ann Arbor is located and where the cooperative's milk was to be distributed when its products were confiscated by the state last Oct. 13, prosecutors were examining the case, but a month afterward still hadn't taken any steps to examine evidence or obtain reports.
All signs are that the main action is in Fitz's office, where it's been all along. He's got the evidence (Hebron's computer, cell phones, and co-op business records). If I were a betting man, I would bet that charges of some sort—possibly involving mislabeling of food products or illegal distribution of food products from other states—will be filed. I just have trouble imagining so many bureaucrats spending so many months scampering around on this situation for the authorities to simply say, "Oh, we didn't mean any harm to Mr. Hebron. We're terribly sorry about any inconvenience we may have caused."


text:
Sika Grab Adhesive 300ml
£31.07 per L
This grab adhesive by Sika is suitable for use with most building materials around the internal & external of your home. Sealing and bonding most building materials.
- Guarantee - 1 year
- Application - Approx 14.5m of 5mm bead
- Chemical care - Consult health and safety information prior to use
Read moreabout Sika Grab Adhesive 300ml
- Brand
Product notices
- Home Delivery Order by 7pm (2pm on Sunday) for Next Day Delivery to anywhere in mainland UK. Orders must be signed for
- Click & Collect Order by 7pm (4pm on Saturday/Sunday) for Next Day Collection from store.
- Stocked in store Check stock in store
- Free delivery on orders over £50. Read our delivery policy
- 45 day returns policy. Read our returns policy
[This is a block of tabs..]
Product Details
Features and benefits
- Advanced technology, 'all-in-one' adhesive and sealant, high elasticity for impact and vibration resistance
Technical specifications
|Litre capacity
|Solvent free
|Solvent free
Help & Advice
Wall Painting Calculator
Your results
You require:
- 00 litres of paint
This is based on a coverage of 10m² per litre of paint. Always check the coverage on the side of the tin before buying.
Buying guides
Adhesives and sealants buying guide
There are lots of good general-purpose adhesives on the market, but for some materials you need something that's specially designed. Our guide will help you decide what is best for the job.
Product reassurances
Choose a convenient delivery date on 1000's of products
45 day returns policy
Customer support team - 0333 0143357
Free delivery on orders over £50
Home delivery orders placed on diy.com.
Excludes Next Day Bulk delivery goods
- headerText
- Customers who bought this also browsed
- numRecs
- 6
- -rec-builder
- My_Custom_Builder
- renderer
- My_Custom_renderer_lazy


text:
At Design Toscano, you can find every animal and reptile that you would like to place in an outdoor space or in a fountain pool or koi pond. Our tortoise statue is a great one to place roaming the yard and another that might scare your neighbors is our Fearless Floating Gator Sculpture. Yes, this lively looking gator actually floats and you can place him in any water structure. He is over 3 ft. long has sharp teeth glistening in his open mouth, perhaps looking for some lunch. He will cause comment.
Our animals from Africa are like no other in size, detail and realism, a fine example of which is our popular outdoor elephant statues. Another statue that would look great in a garden with the elephants is our South African Rhino Garden Sculpture. As with all our animal sculpture this great guy is hand painted and looks like he just walked into your yard. He has gleaming horns and even the wrinkling on his legs look real.
Not all of our animals are large or dangerous looking, some are just extraordinarily cute. The popular Meerkat sculpture is one of the cutest and now there is a new guy in town, Stinky the Striped Skunk Statue. You may ask how a skunk can be cute, but one look at the adorable face on this well detailed statue will win your heart. Fortunately, he also does not spray anything stinky in your yard.


text:
Reviewed by 2 customers
Sort by
Displaying reviews 1-5
Previous | Next »
Best Uses
Comments about Neon Woven Bracelet Craft Kit:
The figures in the directions are hard to follow because two of the strand types in the key look the same color. Definitely start with the typed out directions for easier use. It didnt take very long to master the craft!
Best Uses
Comments about Neon Woven Bracelet Craft Kit:
This bracelet craft kit was purchased for use at Bible Camp. The best part of the kit was the MIGHTY LOOM. The campers used the Mighty Loom not only with the rattail cord that was included in the kit, but embroidery thread. The older teen campers were able to make intricate designs and carry their project with them to continue their work during their free time. Some even asked to carry the looms home to complete more projects.
Displaying reviews 1-2
Customer Service: firstname.lastname@example.com
Webmaster: firstname.lastname@example.com (Problems or suggestions related to the site only.)
Toll-free phone: (800) 288-9941
Monday through Friday, 8:00am to 7:00pm, EST
Representatives who speak Spanish are available
Monday to Friday 9 AM to 6 PM EST
Representantes que hablan Español están disponibles
Lunes a Viernes 9 AM to 6 PM EST
24-Hour toll-free fax: (800) 566-6678
S&S® Worldwide
PO Box 513
75 Mill Street
Colchester, CT 06415


text:
Kenwood Nightstand
Kenwood's planked panels and rustic hardware borrow from the vernacular architecture of old American barns.
- Handcrafted of solid American spruce with spruce veneers, a solid wood top and planked sides
- Available in either a driftwood finish with silver accents and worn edges, giving the piece the warmth of age, or in a painted rustic grey finish to impart the vintage character of age
- Door conceals 1 adjustable shelf
- Includes adjustable levelers on feet
- Iron hardware has a matte finish
- Wipe with a soft, dry cloth. Avoid direct sunlight and heat to protect the finish.
- Wood swatch is 6" square; free shipping
- This item is handcrafted with meticulous care. Given its hand-finished nature and natural variations in the wood grain, each item is unique and no two will be exactly alike.
- GREENGUARD Gold Certified. Meets or exceeds stringent chemical emissions standards. Learn more.
Shown in rustic grey.
Kenwood Nightstand
- 22"W x 18"D x 27"H
Kenwood Nightstand


text:
Please read through before answering.
I'm a little confused, I'm building a new PC and have a question...
I was thinking of buying the amd bulldozer, there's one I've found on ebay quite cheap, 8 core...
I would like to make it clear, I consider myself a Novice at this, (I know HOW to build em, but that's about it)
This is where I found myself confused, out of my depth etc... I read somewhere that this chip isn't as good as older amd chips, for example..
http://www.ebay.co.u...=item19d6bce569 (please note, links are purely for reference)
Can someone who knows what they are talking about spare some time to explain in simplified english whether the bulldozer or the phenom is the better processor?
I get lost in technical jargon, benchmarks are lost on me also, but if you understand them, could you spare a few minutes to explain which would be the better purchase?
(It's going into an asus crosshair v mobo, this is a personal preference and already purchased)
Thank you to the moderator who deleted my repost, I don't know what happened there
Edited by Dushmany, 17 November 2012 - 04:16.


text:
Oper Frankfurt's aim when the Opera Studio opened in 2008/09 was to help young singers embarking on a career by actively supporting them, providing professional teachers to help them hone their skills and, possibly, building a long term relationship with some of these highly qualified young artists.
This important project has already borne fruit: Elizabeth Reiter has become the sixth singer (from the 19 who have worked at the Studio since it came into being) to join Oper Frankfurt's Ensemble. Other Alumni have returned as guests, including the tenor Francisco Brito who enjoyed great success with the role of Giannetto in a new production of The Thieving Magpie last season and Maren Favela, who returns this winter for Echo in Ariadne auf Naxos.
Nora Friedrichs (soprano), Maria Pantiukhova (mezzo-soprano) and Michael Porter (tenor), in their second year in the Opera Studio, are joined this season by the German soprano Katharina Ruckgaber, from Munich, the Canadian soprano Jessica Strong, the Armenian baritone Gurgen Baveyan and British bass baritone Thomas Faulkner.
They take part in regular masterclasses held by internationally renowned artists and are cast in small, and sometimes not so small roles in productions. All the singers have said that they learn most from taking part in performances.
Come and follow the artistic development of these artists on stage and in their series of concerts - »Opera Studio Soirées« - in the Holz Foyer.
Nora Friedrichs soprano
Maria Pantiukhova mezzo-soprano
Katharina Ruckgaber soprano
Jessica Strong soprano
Thomas Faulkner bass baritone
Gurgen Baveyan baritone
Michael Porter tenor
Sebastian Weigle, Bernd Loebe General Management
Juri Masurok Coach
Thomas Stollberger Organisation
email: email@example.com
Information about how to apply to join the Studio can be found here.
This project has been made possible by generous support from the Deutsche Bank Stiftung, the Stiftung Polytechnische Gesellschaft Frankfurt am Main and the Frankfurter Patronatsverein - Sektion Oper
- Welcome to the 2014/15 season
- Season Calendar
- New Productions 2014/2015
- New Productions 2015/2016
- Revivals 2014/2015
- Revivals 2015/2016
- Recitals 2014/2015
- Recitals 2015/2016
- Concerts 2014/2015
- Concerts 2015/2016
- NOW! Opera for you / Events for children and young people 2014/2015
NOW! Opera for You 2015/2016
events for children
and young people
- Special Events 2014/2015
- Special Events 2015/2016
- Cast Changes
- Ensemble, guest artists and teams
- The orchestra
- Opera Studio
- Videos
- Press Releases


text:
Bouncy Castle wrote:Del.
Saw this by chance today on Amazon. Wonder if it will kill off any germs.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dead-Sea-Spa-Ma ... 128&sr=1-1
Just on the skin, rather than a wound, then not as well as soap and water. Not viruses at all. More likely it would make you itchy. But some people seem to like it, if you feel 'pampered' then go for it I say.


text:
Strictly speaking, "deployment" refers to activities required to move military personnel and materials -- but it also means more than that.
If you are a Reserve or Guard member who is deployed, you become eligible for basic pay, along with some extra pay benefits.
For deploying servicemembers and families, there are resources available to help you during your transitions -- here's a rundown of help programs by service.
A new mobile application developed by mental health experts combines behavioral therapy with satellite navigation technology to offer returning service members options for adjusting to the slower pace of life at home.


text:
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Daddy Issues
The summer that I turned 20, my father said that women were like shoes. "You have your fancy dress shoes that you wear out on special occasions," he proclaimed, "and you have your sneakers that you kick around the house in."
Technically, he was not saying this to me. Mr. Fred, our neighbor, had come over with his son "Little" Fred, and they were milling about the living room with my two brothers. If I'm remembering correctly, the day was Father's Day, and the two dads were teasing the older two boys, asking if they had any reason to celebrate the day.
"No way," said my brother.
"Thank god, no," said Little Fred.
"Yeah," said Mr. Fred, "you gotta be careful."
Now, the conversation could have turned toward safe sex, and the man's shared responsibility in birth control; or it could have just dropped. Instead, it went on to advice about women, and how women will "trap you," all with an implied pride that their sons were out "getting some."
At that point, my father issued his proclamation about women as shoes. All of the other men laughed and heartily agreed, adding that they liked the sneakers better because the dress shoes were too "high maintenance." One even bragged, "I have nothing but sneakers." Notice the plural. They all congratulated one another on being such hound dogs.
I was in the living room with them, stretching my calves out on the edge of the fireplace hearth, getting ready to go for a run. My mother was in the kitchen, which wasn't really entirely separate from the living room. So, it wasn't as if they were in the locker room metaphorically measuring dicks -- not that that scenario would make their statements any better. They were in the presence of women, women with whom three of them lived, throughout these exchanges.
I protested. "You can't be serious," I said. They all agreed that they were. "That ridiculous," I said.
"But it's a reality," my dad said.
"Well, what about your wives?" I asked, being as how my mom was standing right there.
"Sometimes you find a woman who can be both sneakers and dress shoes," Mr. Fred and my dad agreed.
I looked to my mom to see how she reacted, if she was going to say anything. She just shrugged, but not in the "this is too stupid to dignify with a response" way. She shrugged in a world weary way, one that said, "I've given up fighting this shit and just take it."
"What about me, then?" I asked. "What if some guy treated me like the sneakers?" I knew what they meant by "sneakers." I had seen the way my brother acted towards the women he fucked and cast off, without telling them, of course. They would call and call and call. If he decided that he was bored enough to talk to them, he would barely veil his contempt, telling them that they were just "fish," or worse.
When I refused to go out on a date with a boy who had asked, or wouldn't go on a second date with a guy, or spurned some boy's near-stalker attention, I was told that I was being cruel and a bitch. That word was used, "a bitch." The same was not being said to my brother. When I asked my dad to talk to my brother about his behavior, to explain to my brother that some girls fall in love and that he should avoid those girls if he just wanted some no-frills sex, my dad said, "That's not your brother's problem. If the girls are stupid enough to think he loves or respects them because he has sex with them, then they deserve what they get."
Despite that, I honestly expected my dad to stand up for me. I actually believed that he might see the flaws in his logic if I brought it home to me, to some guy treating me like a blow-up doll, or shoes. I forgot that this was the same man who, when I was 14 and having a very dark depressive episode, told me that I needed to "get up off the couch, go have fun, and let guys play with my tits." Maybe he said "boobs" instead of "tits;" but that was not the point. Aside from experiencing eight types of squick, I felt as if he was telling me that the way out of depression was to make my body available to boys. That my body was not mine, but theirs. On top of that, it wasn't as if I was a boy-crazy teenager or had a boyfriend or even wanted a boyfriend. What he said was wrong.
I also forgot that this was the man who told me that girls who were raped on dates were asking for it. In fact, that was how I first learned what rape was. One of my parents was sitting on a jury for a statutory rape case when I was 11 or12. I wanted to know what that meant. They told me that a young girl would seduce a man, then regret it the next morning and have the man arrested for rape.
I forgot that this was the man who, when I got angry at my brothers for cheering a rapist on during a rape scene in a movie, told me that it was no big deal. It was a very big deal to me, since I had nearly been raped on a date just a few months earlier. I never told my parents about it. I was sure they would not be sympathetic. My mother might be, but she wouldn't be open with her sympathy for the same reason that her shrug conveyed he acceptance of a life with men who held her in contempt for being female.
That last point, the overall contempt for my mother and I for being female, I thought I could change. I thought it was something that could be changed because I think I actually bought the line about all of their appalling sexist behavior really being in jest. I thought that I could do something to make that change by turning this stupid shoe analogy back on my father by invoking his sympathy for me.
"What about me, then," I asked. "What if some guy treated me like the sneakers?"
"I'd feel sorry for you," he said, "but I'd understand him."
In that moment, I knew that my father did not respect me. After 2 decades of similar incidents, I finally realized that by simple fact of 2 X chromosomes, I was never going to be a full person to him. My brothers would go through the world as men, while I was supposed to go through the world for men. Men were full people, and I was not. What's more, I was supposed to embrace that role, and any rejection of it was a problem with me, not with the world.
Several years later, my brother told our ditto-head cousin that the reason I was so "into" feminism was because a boyfriend in college had treated me badly. "In college?" I said. "Oh, it began way before that, and he was part of the process." My family still thinks I will get over feminism, especially if I start dating a guy, preferably a conservative guy with traditional notions of gender.
It's a crushing experience, having to love your oppressor, knowing that he doesn't mean to be cruel, knowing that he loves you, but he just cannot accept you as a full person. But you grow up, and the damage becomes yours to fix, and you fix it however you can. You can be in their presence and give the shrug that says "this is too stupid to acknowledge" when they display their misogyny.
Then, you get nephews. Sweet, interesting, little boys who could grow up to be sweet, interesting grown men. Could. They think that you are kinda cool too, because they are little boys and have no real frame of reference. Then, you see their fathers (your brothers) and their grandfather, praising them for grabbing women's breast, teaching them to say the most disgusting sexists words, and telling them that if they whine or cry (as small children do) that they are being "girls" and being a "girl" is bad. You see that, and you see these sweet little boys are being taught to hate you.
You know that this same process is going on in a million houses with a million little boys, too young to know the difference. They will grow up and marry women who give the shrug of capitulation to sexism and raise more misogynists. That is how misogyny is taught and learned; and it is an ugly, soul-killing sight.
43 comments:
- Belle said...
Interesting that you still affirm your love for them, when they don't seem to love you for you as a whole person.
My father was much like this, as was/is his son. I don't like either of them, and without like, love isn't gonna happen. Their choice, my reality.
- 7:09 PM, June 14, 2009
- Clio Bluestocking said...
IB, right? I recognize his symptoms.
It is odd, isn't it? I tell myself this: My father and brothers are deeply flawed. The parts that aren't flawed are actually likeable and even admirable; but one of the parts that is flawed involves hating me. Not hating me personally. For them it is an impersonal hate that encompasses all women; but because I am a woman, it feels very personal. It was certainly expressed personally.
So I love the likeable admirable parts and hate the parts that hate and harm me, then feel guilty for the hate. Therein lies the the conflict, the opposing forces that split me in half and which I have yet to resolve.
- 8:05 PM, June 14, 2009
- Ann said...
WOW. Just, wow.
You are right on. And I'm so sorry for your family that they are more invested in maintaining patriarchy than in loving their women and girls.
I have a friend whose sister left her high-powered career as a lawyer to stay home with her children. She (my friend) was really, really bothered by the fact that her nephew would always play with her husband and her father (his uncle and grandfather), but the only reason he would approach my friend was to ask for a glass of juice or to perform some other small mommy-like task. In other words, he was learning that women are there to serve men, and that the men are the ones who are important, where it's at, and having all the fun.
- 8:21 PM, June 14, 2009
- profacero said...
Great post.
And the nuclear family is a patriarchal institution which exists to maintain patriarchy.
In mine, there are also women who do this more virulently than some of the men. I am sure (I know) this is not unusual.
And then people wonder why women resign themselves to mistreatment.
And note: speaking of which: I have various friends who are very down on battered women and how inadequate they are. These friends are also those who are in the most traditional female gender roles. I guess it is Schadenfreude in a way.
- 11:27 PM, June 14, 2009
- dykewife said...
empathies. it's sad that they're missing out on seeing you as the complete person you are because they're missing out on so much.
there's not much else i can say to that.
- 12:14 AM, June 15, 2009
- Jeremy Young said...
Damn, could you possibly have had a more awful family?
Well, yes, you could. But I'm very glad you didn't, and very sorry they were as bad as they were.
- 2:12 AM, June 15, 2009
- CH said...
"I'd feel sorry for you," he said, "but I'd understand him."
What the @#$^$@^!~%^(&?????
It starts early. Look at any mainstream baby clothes store and it's all blue vs. pink. Like it's a battle. And if it's a battle there is no empathy for the "other team".
My wife and I enjoy dressing our son in all different colours (he's 14 months right now). It's amazing how yellow baby is kind and energetic, red baby is dangerous but funny, green baby is eco-friendly, stripy baby is outgoing, pink baby is confusing to other people (you can see people physically struggling with the idea of a boy in pink), and so on.
I feel like entire aspects of my son's personality would not have come through if we had dressed him in standard blue stuff (I'm glad that my wife thought of this and pushed the issue). It totally affects how we treat him.
- 4:22 AM, June 15, 2009
- Flavia said...
This is a heartbreaking post.
- 11:46 AM, June 15, 2009
- squadratomagico said...
The most heartbreaking part of your post is the reflection on watching this heritage being transmitted to another generation, your nephews. I've seen the same process in my husband's family (neither me nor my siblings ever had kids). I vividly recall my brother-in-law yelling harshly at his wife that she should not hug or cuddle their little boy, because then he would grow up to be "girly" or "turn into a fag." Now that boy is 16 or so, and hero-worships his father. But, as far as I can tell, he's also lost. Even his parents complain that he has no passions, no strong interests, no determination to excel in any particular area or to master any skill. He was taught from an early age that his dad had strong expectations of him, and that there were important areas of culture where he must never tread -- and as a result, he's become a sort of blank, a reactive person who plays the same sports his father watches and plays, but who has no independent commitments or interests of his own.
- 11:49 AM, June 15, 2009
- Bavardess said...
I am sorry you've had to go through this and that it still effects your life and that of the next generation of your family. As others have pointed out, this behaviour hurts boys as well as girls and perpetuates a cycle where no one, male or female, is able to realise their full humanity.
And similar to Profacero's experience, in my family it was my mother who gave out the most sexist messages about women's subservient role. Looking back, my father was actually very progressive.
- 4:31 PM, June 15, 2009
- Susan said...
This is both heartbreaking in terms of what you've had to live with, and also a brilliant analysis of how patriarchy survives. It's a powerful combination. But gee, I wish you couldn't have written it.
- 4:39 PM, June 15, 2009
- Digger said...
Damn, Clio. That is a hell of a lot of emotions to hold simultaneously without flying apart.
"Therein lies the the conflict, the opposing forces that split me in half and which I have yet to resolve." I have family stuff also, of a different variety, but this describes exactly how it feels. If it was strangers, they could just go jump. But it's family, blood is thicker than water and all that, and who wants to be the bitch who stops talking to their own family? From their side, there is no reason good enough, ensuring bitch status. All tied neatly in with being a "good daughter." Some serious emotional dynamite.
(Can I also say that "experiencing eight types of squick" = win writing?)
- 10:39 PM, June 15, 2009
- Clio Bluestocking said...
Ann: Yep, they learn early that women are for them, the men. Men do, women serve. I had a friend whose son, at the age of 10, refused to do any house work because "that's for girls." She asked him where he found that attitude, and then she looked at her husband.
Profecero: That's why I was suspicious of "family values" from the start. At one time I tried to be one of those misogynist women, reinforcing the patriarchy. It didn't last long because, to maintain that schadenfreude, you have to beat back the realization that very little separates you from the battered, raped, and abused women of the world. Ultimately, to hold that position, you have to lop off significant chunks of your person. So, that phase didn't last long for me. It required too much lying and denial and ultimately it felt as if it actuallly drained intelligence from my head.
Dykewife: Thank you. There really isn't anything to say.
Jeremy: They could have been MUCH worse. In fact, as I grew older and started to hear the stories coming out of the families of my friends and neighbors involving molestation and rape and so forth, I was kind of horrified that all of this was going on and none of us told one another about it. But, of course, silence makes the abuse permissible.
CH: Thank you for that reaction! Because of my father's answer, I always expect people to say, "well, you know, he is kind of right." I love the baby color experiment. Whenever I see a guy in pink, I know that he is confident.
Flavia: Thank you. Writing it and posting it in public seems to have separated it from me in a way, a bit like excising a tumor.
Squadro: It's that transmission of the sexism that really upsets me. The stuff done to me is done, I'm an intelligent adult and can deal with it. What's being done to the boys, while I stand helplessly by (you know, because I'm not a mom so what do I know) and watch it. There's also that strain of homophobia woven into the whole process, like you describe in your brother-in-law's family. I recognize that numbness of your nephew, too. Anything beautiful and expressive about them becomes shut off and shriveled all in the name of maintaining this narrow and fragile concept of masculinity.
Bavardess: My grandmother is like that, too. She was a powerful woman in her day, rising from sharecropping to getting a master's degree in the 1940s and becoming a principal of a high school in the 1970s. Still, her messages to me were always, "oh, women can't do that," while "boys can do anything."
Susan: I like the way you put that. The one good thing about all of this, once I figured out what I was good and mad about, was that I suddenly understood what other marginalized groups were talking about. That broke down a significant chunk of the lifelong brainwashing about everything else.
Digger: Exactly! Strangers, even boyfriends (because I'm such a cliche, my dating life tended to play out in this same way), you can dismiss. Family, on the other hand, they aren't always evil. I hear you on the "good daughter," too, especially being the only daughter and the oldest. Such requirements for perfection, even when "perfection" had no clear definition.
One last time, because I can't say it enough: Thank you all for your comments.
- 12:35 PM, June 16, 2009
- Clio Bluestocking said...
I'm looking at the comment about family not always being evil and seeing it doesn't quite say what I want it to say. Obviously, people who aren't family aren't always all evil either; but in a family, you have these interwoven obligations and histories that become almost impossible to unravel. Some people are able to just cut it all off, some aren't, and each case is unique and complicated. In my case, I love my family, but I'm not close to them any longer. I have to maintain just enough distance to not feel too guilty for drifting too far or too angry from being too close.
- 12:42 PM, June 16, 2009
- GayProf said...
It's a chilling post, but an important one. Sometimes I think academics forget that such sexist notions are still considered basically "true" by huge sections of the population.
- 1:02 PM, June 17, 2009
- liliannattel said...
Yours post is gripping, the writing sharp and insightful.
I'd like to point out that what your father said to you when you were fourteen was emotionally abusive.
He was advising you, his child, that you required sexual handling. That is sexually inappropriate and abusive.
I am saddened and angry at the damage done, not only to girls, but to boys like your nephews, by teaching them such hate. By limiting them and narrowing who they are, the pain of such dismissal is projected outward at women. And it is probably more acceptable to them to hate women because the real target of their anger, the men who disrespect their full humanity, are also people that they love as you do.
Not all conservative men are like that. This is not to excuse inequality or patriarchal attitudes. But there are men who believe in traditional gender roles who treat women respectfully and value their wives and daughters. (There are other problems but that's not the subject of this post).
I think that hatred of women should not be tolerated, whether by a submissive shrug or a dismissive shrug.
This hate justifies and excuses rape and child abuse. I don't know if any of the males in your family have acted on that, but if not it's only because they haven't felt like it up to this point. There is nothing in what they say that implies any limits to what a man may do. Women are there to be used, preferably at low cost, and women need it, including adolescent girls who are depressed. Women ask for it and only stupid women have any higher expectations.
I think this can only end if it stops being tolerable and tolerated by women and by men who see this hatred for what it is.
I am thankful that in my neighbourhood little boys are raised differently. Even here I've heard from mothers of sensitive boys that they've seen their friends encouraged to be aggressive by their mothers. But from what I've personally seen, boys here are encouraged to treat others respectfully and allowed to express a full range of emotion.
I have two daughters. I have to think about what kind of environment they're growing up in and what they're going to encounter as young women. And I hold myself and everyone else accountable for upholding and teaching values of respect between men and women.
- 1:37 PM, June 18, 2009
- liliannattel said...
I just want to add that I understand first-hand how difficult it can be when love for your family stands alongside awareness of how badly they behave. My heart goes out to you.
- 1:58 PM, June 18, 2009
- 57suttonplace said...
I don't know whether I'd rather be a sneaker or bovine: My father always said, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
- 2:57 PM, June 18, 2009
- Another Damned Medievalist said...
I grew up in a very matriarchal household, but one where children were there to serve. I only have one nephew, and while he's treated not much differently than the rest of us were, I think it's worse for him, because it's sort of the same thing -- he almost has to carry the weight of all the unhappy relationships on his shoulders.
I mentioned this to his other aunt, and asked if he needed someone to step in. And my feminist sister said, "he needs to learn to stand up for himself. If he doesn't like it, he should say something." Because we are supposed to be tough.
Somehow, it didn't occur to her that he's 16, and his mom and my mom are adults -- and that it's their job to look out for him.
Patterns. They repeat in all the wrong ways.
- 5:11 PM, June 18, 2009
- The History Enthusiast said...
Clio, I am so sorry that you had to experience that upbringing. I don't know what else to say.
- 5:29 PM, June 18, 2009
- the rebel lettriste said...
Masculinity is so ... crazy. For all the bullshit about women being "fragile," I think it's men and their masculinity that somehow need the protection. So much energy goes into it.
I was thinking as I read this about my own BF and his 6 yo nephew, who is a sweet, silly, headstrong little boy. We were at the bookstore, and BF kept pushing what he thought were more "appropriate" books (on dragons, on knights, on superheroes) on nephew. Nephew wanted "If you give a mouse a cookie." They had a battle of wills. BF kept saying that nephew's book was "babyish."
At the end of the day, I pulled BF aside and said, "what matters is not WHAT he reads, but THAT he reads. Support that."
Nephew got his babyish book. I asked him why he chose it and he was thrilled to discuss. And BF thanked me afterwards...
- 12:03 PM, June 19, 2009
- Samquilla said...
Wow, I don't know that I've read such an intimate description of growing up in that type of environment. At least outside of fiction/literature. So thank you.
I wonder whether the balance you've reached with your family will/would change if you have/had children of your own. As you say, you are an adult who can fend for herself, but exposing your own children (boys or girls) to the indoctrination your nephews are receiving is another level of pain.
- 2:01 PM, June 19, 2009
- Jottie said...
This is a devastating and brilliant post. Thank you for writing it.
And this:
Then, you see their fathers (your brothers) and their grandfather, praising them for grabbing women's breast, teaching them to say the most disgusting sexists words, and telling them that if they whine or cry (as small children do) that they are being "girls" and being a "girl" is bad. You see that, and you see these sweet little boys are being taught to hate you.
also makes me think about little girls, and how heartbreaking it is to watch them being taught to hate & despise themselves, to conceive of themselves as somehow less-than, to believe the myriad lies the patriarchy tells them about themselves and their rightful places in the world.
I have very young female cousins, and I hate being away with them so much; I just want to spend all of my time being an affirmative voice in their lives. They have loving parents & families, but they are loving people that do not realize the insidious, vile nature of the gender-coding they so ignorantly perpetuate.
There are few things sadder than watching this and feeling like you are losing the next generation to the patriarchy.
- 4:23 PM, June 19, 2009
- jennyappleseed said...
Wow. I can't even finish this post. I promise to later. This is hitting home and reading someone else's experience allows me to see how damaging it must have been and probably continues to be. My father has said a lot of stupid shit like this over the years. How do you even make sense of why a man would believe this type of shit, much less proudly spew it to a daughter and then ask us not to be "so sensitive". Just like your mom, a lot of women just "eat it" because the wounds are too deep at some point. I'm sooo pissed!
- 4:31 PM, June 19, 2009
- Kathy said...
First time commenter here, and I came to this late, but I just want you to know I grew up in a very matriarchal family, co-raised by strong, intelligent aunts and a single mom, and they STILL said and believed in the most sexist, hateful stereotypes and prejudices imaginable (maybe just not quite as crudely as the males in your family), all the while pushing me to go to college, be independent, etc. I still don't know to this day 30 years later how I came out half-okay as I did. Thank you for this post. I just wanted you to know you have lots of company and solidarity.
- 4:35 PM, June 19, 2009
- snobographer said...
I'm impressed, Clio, that you managed to not internalize all that crap. I look back on the men in my family, and many of the women, and how I processed those messages and I wince.
It took me some time to come around.
- 6:55 PM, June 19, 2009
- growingcurious said...
I admire you for writing and sharing this. You have courage.
It's hard to see the degrading behaviors that are so close to us, but you've seen them clearly here. I support you and wish I could give you a big hug.
- 12:38 AM, June 20, 2009
- Elise said...
Clio, I'm wondering, have you shared any of your feelings/viewpoints with your family? If you are biting your tongue instead of TALKING about these issues with your mom, your dad, your brothers, you are enabling what they do, what they say, what they think, how they raise the next generation.
It's hard to change the way people think, but it can be done, sometimes. At minimum, I'd say your dads needs to get an earful about the episode that happened when you were 14 and your feelings about it. Yes, it was abusive and disgusting, and you should call him on it, better late than never.
If you start opening your mouth and your family life gets more problematic, so be it. Do you want any female children that get born into your family in the future to experience the same crap you did? Have you thought about what will happen if you have a daughter of your own? How will you avoid repeating patterns if you have her around this kind of crap?
Best of luck. I know how hard it is to deal with toxic people, I have some in my family too. Oh, and thanks for a great post.
- 7:31 AM, June 20, 2009
- Cynthia said...
Heartbreaking, thoughtful, and very well written. It makes me so thankful for my father & brother -- conservatives but pro-women & generally respectful of (most) people. Can't wait to check out the rest of your blog! (You know Salon has linked to this post, right?)
- 8:23 AM, June 20, 2009
- Clio Bluestocking said...
Wow! I'm kinda bowled over at the response to this post. After I put it up I was a little embarassed by it, thinking "your ass is showing on the internet;" but it's been seen and linked by more people than any other post I've ever written. Just, wow! And, again, thank you!
GayProf: Exactly! One of the things about having family in suburban Texas (and you KNOW about Texas) is that I get a healthy dose of that every time that I visit.
Liliannattel: I'm with you. It's nice to know that children somewhere are being brought up in some semblance of sanity. Also, at the time -- and even now -- I didn't see this as a conservative/liberal split, just a man/woman or a designated person/designated part-person split. The conservative that I mentioned, the one that my parents want me to marry (still!) is a particular person. Boy, that would be a match made in hell!
57 Sutton Place: Leather shoes? (Just joking!) Ah, yes, the cow analogy! That one actually didn't appear in my family for some strange reason. I think because, despite the whole madonna/whore (or dress shoes/sneakers) attitude, premarital sex was not really taboo in our family. In fact, would you beleive, they disapproved of people who got married without having had sex.
Another Damned Medievalist: The little soldier phenomenon. It's good to teach children to stand up for themselves, but at some point the parent does have to realize that they are, in fact, children and there are limits to their abilities.
History Enthusiast: There really isn't anything to say, but thank you!
Rebel Letteriste: Exactly! Masculinity is supposed to be all about this strength and power, yet it seems to be threatened by the least little thing: women not knowing their place, homosexuality, any gender queerness and, OMG!, masculinity will die. Die! I tell you!
Right on for you and your nephew! That's so cool that he wanted to discuss his favorite book. And good for your BF for realizing the error of his ways.
- 10:34 AM, June 20, 2009
- Clio Bluestocking said...
Samquilla: It probably would. I don't want children and menopause is due any day now, so it probably won't happen. Still, even with the nephews, I was sort of surprised that all of these issues that I thought I had put behind me woke up and started to bother me so much.
Jottie: Oh, yes, the girls who you see are about to go through exactly what you've spent your whole life trying to undo. Historiann has a collection of links about "Lessons for girls" that pass on some of the things the writers have discovered. Maybe your cousins might benefit from them?
Jenny Appleseed: I think my mom, like many women, feel like just one woman; and to fight the patriarchy in their own house would upset any peaceful status quo that they can maintain since that burden, of course, rests with the wife and mother. Their whole lives would fall apart if they fought it, and they just can't deal with that. At least, that seemed to be part of my mother's life. My grandmother, on the other hand, was the sort who closed the door behind her.
Kathy: Thank you. I'm amazed and a little depressed that this post affected people. Also, as you say, sometimes women can be some of the biggest guardians of the patriarchy. I tried to be one myself for about a year or two. I finally cracked. Too much discipline and effort with so little reward for self-loathing and proper behavior.
Snobographer: Oh, I internalized more of it that I care to admit. Like I wrote above, I tried to be a good little misogynist for a period of time. I shudder at the memory,too. I still have to fight the internalization. Still, what else did we know? We were told these things from the moment we popped out of the womb and were wrapped in pink or blue. At least, we had the sense to figure out something was wrong, eventually.
Growing curious: Thank you!
Elise: Trust me, I make a noise everytime I'm there. I have tried every tactic in the book. The problem is that there is always a reason not to respect me. I don't have kids, so anything I say on childrearing is dismissed. I have a PhD, so pretty much anything I say can't possibly be grounded in any sort of reality. I am a feminist, therefore hysterical. I start to see how my mother gave up. Still, I try to keep up the good fight in strategic ways. LIke when my nephew wanted to help me put on make-up. His parents objected and objected ("are you a girl?" they kept asking him, saying "girl" as if it were a dirty word), but I let him help. My god, what would it hurt? We had fun. Then we spiked up his hair with gel and he was pretty proud of himself. I decided that, if I'm set up as the crazy one, then when the nephews get to be rebellious teenagers, maybe they will drift my way. (That's my fantasy anyway.)
Cynthia: I didn't know Salon linked to this. I think I just used up my fifteen minutes of fame.
- 10:34 AM, June 20, 2009
- squadratomagico said...
- This comment has been removed by the author.
- 10:35 AM, June 20, 2009
- Kate said...
Found you via Salon.com.
This post was heartbreaking because of the subject matter. It really took my breath away; your writing is very evocative.
It also gave me great hope, because you are the product of this upbringing, and look at what you have become. Thank you for posting this.
- 1:30 PM, June 20, 2009
- profacero said...
Congratulations on the Salon link! They're smart to link to it because it's a very key text.
I find it odd that people found the post hard to read -- I tend to feel relief when people actually articulate experience(s), including bad ones, and relate to Rigoberta Menchu when she says (in response to people saying her story is "sad"), "No, it is not sad, because it's true." And it's just way FUN to say what's true, and hear what's true ... especially considering the alternative (saying what's false!). (Life has taught me that my attitude may be atypical, but still, I find this to be a happy and uplifting post because it is CLEAR and TRUE.)
- 5:57 PM, June 20, 2009
- Owen said...
I, too, found this via Salon.com. I'm so sorry your family were shit to you. As a man, I was raised to respect all people, regardless of gender, race and whatnot...as long as they respect me, in turn.
I'm glad; traditional 'masculinity' is a straight-jacket, though of course, not as bad as it can get for women in 'traditional' roles. (And yeah, machismo, or whatever you want to call it, is a weak and fearful thing, inside.) I went to a school with a strong Greek culture, and saw first-hand how both men and women are profoundly deranged by the various gender roles they're expected to play. And how much of this was pushed by their peers. I hope your nephews are able to move away from this idiocy in time, just as you did--and I'm sure you'll always be there to help.
'This hate justifies and excuses rape and child abuse. I don't know if any of the males in your family have acted on that, but if not it's only because they haven't felt like it up to this point. There is nothing in what they say that implies any limits to what a man may do.'
All I'd say to this is that there's a big difference between, say, disliking or even hating black people, and joining a lynch mob. Some who are vocal in their hate are actually secretly uneasy; some who speak the loudest do so to cover their own doubts; and many who believe hateful things still feel compassion for other beings. Rape and child molestation are such horrific things that most people, even if they're prejudiced against women, cannot and do not want anything to do with them.
There is always hope. The world is far from perfect, but I do feel that we are closer to equality than we have ever been in the US. Not close enough...not yet. But that is why we act, no?
- 12:47 AM, June 21, 2009
- zt said...
I hope this doesn't offend you, but your dad is more than sexist- he's just a straight Asshole by any standards - conservative or progressive. Your poor Mom. She has to fuck the guy that says those things. How does one manage that?
I'm sorry to say that about a person's mom. My mom was in a similar situation and all I did was pray for her to be free. She got divorced when I graduated college and remarried to the love of her life. Happiest surprise of my life. I thought she was a lifer for sure. I had never seen my mom truly happy as a woman until then.
The new guy was still sexist/full of privilege blah blah, of course, but he wasn't _an_asshole_ -he was generous and supportive and romantic - talked her up, showed her the world. The two can be different things.
Your post made me thank god for my brother- once again. He was raised by the biggest jerk in the world - but happened to be possessed of a brilliant mind and completely rejected what his father tried to beat into him. Very strong guy. Didn't exactly get any societal rewards for it either.
- 4:49 AM, June 21, 2009
- LivelyClamor said...
Wow. I start linkhopping and here I am. Nice to meet you.
Sorry but not entirely surprised you had to deal with this.
The 2008 presidential dynamics seem to have brought out the sexism in a lot of people that was otherwise hidden, leading me to wonder if anything has changed at all since I was in my late teens. (I'm 52 and by the way not menopausal yet, so relax. You have a while. And don't get me started on the ageism that starts about now along with the sexism)
Keep writing, please.
I'm in midlife crisis #2 (sorry for giving that away, but there CAN be more than one) right now it's dealing with past stuff that has clobbered me from behind so I find your post moving, interesting and unfortunately ringing very true. I was an only child and didn't get the sexist input from home, but the rest of the world. Chose not to have kids. Just because it wasn't in my immediate family didn't mean I wasn't affected. too empathic.
Bright blessings.
- 2:15 PM, June 23, 2009
- kon said...
Excellent post and courageously honest. Sometimes it's so difficult to be honest about our families, but, I think doing so, helps to make some of us feel a little more sane in the world.
In solidarity.
- 4:07 PM, June 23, 2009
- exwool said...
This makes me so incredibly grateful for my father that I just emailed him about how much I appreciate him. He is not a very verbose man, but I have always known that he is incredibly proud of everything that I do. He couldn't be married to my mother without thinking that women can be just as or more aggressive, smarter, and stronger than men, and he's always presumed that of me. But he has also always assumed that the ways in which I use that are my own to choose. My brother is more gentle than I, and my parents have also been open to, and careful about that. I am so sorry for what you went through. Thank you for reminding me that for all the faults I recognize in my parents, there are so many things in them to value, respect, admire and appreciate. And thank you for reminding me that even if I don't have children, I can be a role model and a reminder to the children of friends and family members for the support of women and the idea that men don't have to play the confining and stereotypical roles they are often assigned.
- 9:02 PM, June 23, 2009
- Val said...
No wonder I had the urge to surf over here & catch up...
Great post, Clio - the heartbreaking thing about MY dad is that I've read fragmentary essays of his, where he GETS the patriarchal misogyny of our world, yet he's still immersed in the attitudes & behaviors... It's like the enormity of the problem is too much for him to grasp, so he retreats into familiarity.
- 8:30 AM, June 27, 2009
- Big said...
Great post. How incredibly creepy to be told by your father that you just need to go out and 'get some' to cure your depression. Ugh. I feel sick just reading about your experiences.
These men are so incredibly small and weak. What possible return can one get from objectifying, dismissing and degrading other human beings? I agree with the commenter who talked about traditional masculinity as a straightjacket. I guarantee you that these men who refuse to see or can't see women as human are suffering as much (or more?) that the women they choose to victimize. They are projecting their utter sense of worthlessness and powerlessness onto women and attempting to destroy a part of themselves that they cannot accept. A lot of these men, at least in the more extreme cases, have been abused themselves. I'm sure your father was/is a miserable man. Ahem. Yes, this post struck a personal chord.
- 11:10 PM, July 10, 2009
- Leslie M-B (trillwing) said...
I am so sorry you experienced all of this, and that the men in your life were committed to perpetuating violence against women.
Either I'm totally blind to it or this doesn't happen in the family with which I grew up--mostly my mom's family, with a sprinkling of my dad's. It may be that the women in the family were saved that injustice because in general we have been higher-achieving (in measurable ways that society values, like academic degrees and Olympic medals) than the men. In other families, some men would undoubtedly see the women as uppity, but as the pattern of women's achievement became clear, they came to respect us rather than be envious or belittling. It helps that we've all married men who are more than happy to be, as my husband puts it, "the descending spouse" (his tongue-in-cheek term for the academic "trailing spouse").
I wonder what can be done for women (and men) in families that haven't enjoyed this pattern?
- 7:10 PM, July 26, 2009
- Susan Brei said...
Very interesting, and sad, post. I'm sure your father loves you in his skewed way, and wants the best for you, but this is why women should work to define themselves. This is why women need to develop their own networks, their own resources, and their own sense of power and control. Just because your dad feels that you, as a woman, have to be there FOR men doesn't make it a reality. Define yourself. Develop your own sense of worth and importance. Find a man who is there for YOU, or better yet, a man who is your equal... a true partner. They're out there.
- 1:04 PM, December 30, 2010


text:
Image: ElinorOstrum
South Asia depends heavily on trans-boundary rivers to meet water and energy needs, and vital resources are often entangled in conflicting policies of rival states. In a 15-month assessment, The Asia Foundation studied three transboundary rivers in Bangladesh, India, and Nepal. A newly-released series of issue briefs describes how lack of transparency and excessive data secrecy have impeded the development of an effective regional water policy. The nine issue briefs provide country-level findings and recommendations for each of the selected rivers. Read more.


text:
|« Back to Article
Houston woman says she killed man in self-defense
By Mike Glenn | July 23, 2013 | Updated: July 23, 2013 10:47pm
Photo By Mayra Beltran/Houston Chronicle
Shanequia McDonald, shown with activist Quanell X during a news conference on Tuesday, says she felt threatened by a man carrying a knife and sexually harassing her.
Photo By Mayra Beltran/StaffShanequia McDonald, surrounded by friends, confers Tuesday with Quanell X before a news conference where the community activist described a fatal gas station shooting as a "classic stand your ground" case.
A south Houston woman said she was only protecting herself when she fatally shot a man at a service station.
"I didn't intend to hurt or harm anyone. I just went to the gas station to get gas," Shanequia McDonald said on Tuesday.
McDonald told Houston police she shot Lewis Daniel shortly after 7 p.m. Sunday at a Gulf station in the 6800 block of Cullen, between Griggs and the South Loop. The case will go to the Harris County grand jury to decide if any charges will be filed.
On Tuesday, McDonald was at the side of community activist Quanell X.
"She tried to walk away. What else was she supposed to do?" Quanell asked.
McDonald said she was pumping gas when Daniel, 58, approached her and began making sexual overtures.
"He's from around this area but personally, no, I don't know him," she said Tuesday.
McDonald said she told the man to leave her alone but he persisted, and then pulled out a knife.
"He kept jumping at me with that knife," McDonald said.
She told police that she grabbed a rifle from her car when the man continued to threaten her with the blade.
McDonald said she fired at the ground, hoping to scare the man off.
"She never intended to shoot directly at him," Quanell said. "She didn't know the bullet actually ricocheted and hit him."
McDonald then went home to tell her mother what happened. Only then was the Houston Police Department notified.
"She left for her own safety. She was afraid that some of those who were sitting with (Daniel) were going to harm her," Quanell said.
The activist said the shooting was a case where Texas' self-defense and stand your ground laws were justified.
Quanell has led recent marches in Houston to protest the not-guilty verdict a Florida jury returned in the 2012 shooting death of Trayvon Martin, but said McDonald cannot be compared to the man acquitted of killing the 17-year-old Martin.
"George Zimmerman profiled Trayvon Martin. George Zimmerman stalked and pursued Trayvon Martin. George Zimmerman was armed (but) Trayvon Martin was not," Quanell said.
McDonald "was the victim of an assault. She was trying to get away," he said. "She got the weapon to defend herself."


text:
WAKE FOREST — We are local farmers, soapmakers, cheesemakers, crafters, bakers and artists, practicing our crafts within a 75 mile radius of where the Market is located, at 150 N. White Street in historic downtown Wake Forest, NC, 27587. The market is open Saturdays, 10 a.m.-noon, through March 2015.
Over the years, the Wake Forest Farmers' Market has grown into a lively community event each Saturday morning. We offer our own fresh-off-the-farm produce; pasture-raised beef, poultry, lamb, and pork; fresh seafood; free-range eggs; cheeses; fresh pasta, ravioli, and sauces; fresh and dried herbs; honey, jams, and preserves; fresh-cut flowers; delicious baked goods, and arts and crafts items of all sorts.
The majority of our farm products are raised using environmentally sustainable agricultural practices, which are healthy for the soil, water, air, animals, and YOU! Get really fresh, wholesome, healthy food, and meet the people in our community who grow and create it!


text:
I recently stumbled across a short but interesting video from The Furniture Project in which Alan Breed and frequent Popular Woodworking Magazine contributor Charles Bender discuss a Seymour-inspired chair made by North Bennet Street student Timm Scheliff.
For those unfamiliar with The Furniture Project, it's a relaunch of the WoodExpo show in Boston and a great spot for New England woodworkers to show their work. The 2013 show is slated to take place in Boston Feb. 21-24, 2013, and there is still time to submit your work for possible inclusion. The deadline is Jan. 11, 2013 and there is no charge for either submission or participation in the show. You'll find more details in the Call for Entries. The Furniture Project 2013 will be a part of the New England Home Show, where an audience of 25,000 is expected.
Whether you make it to the show or not, the videos on the web site are worth a look. Aside from the Bender and Breed critique, you'll also find video of Breed carving a ball-and-claw foot and Phil Lowe working on a cabriole leg – you couldn't ask for advice and instruction from more skilled makers.


text:
EUPORA — Phronia Starnes Smith, 83, homemaker, died Nov. 28, 2010, at Starkville Manor Nursing Home in Starkville.
Funeral Services will be at 2 p.m. Tuesday at Oliver Funeral Home Chapel in Eupora with burial in the Pleasant Ridge Cemetery in Oktibbeha County.
Visitation will be Tuesday from noon until 2 p.m. at the funeral home.
Mrs. Smith is survived by her husband of 67 years, Charles P. Smith of Sturgis; a daughter; Sheila (Chris) Oswalt of Houston; a son; Bobby Charles (Diane) Smith of Oxford, Ga.; two sisters, Perval (Garland) Hunt of West Point and Irene Johnson of Memphis, Tenn.: a sister-in-law; Peggy Starnes of West Point; and five grandchildren.
She was preceded in death by her parents; Joseph and Ella Starnes; six brothers: Joe, Charles, James Russell, Fred and Jess Starnes; W. C. Sanders and one sister: Arlin Starnes.
Mrs. Smith attended New Life Worship Center in Sturgis.
Oliver Funeral Home of Eupora is in charge of all arrangements.


text:
|Home Page
Pictures Post
|More Samples From Kristina Fey Here
Hook Up With A Little Titties Sweetie Right Here
See pictures of women near you now and get your Free Registration Today!
|Recommended Sites With Fresh Legal Teen Cuties That Have Tasty Tiny Tits On Them
Flat Chest Girls ::: Nubiles ::: Skinny Nymph ::: MET-ART ::: Hegre-Art
Check Out The Best Porn Pass Deal On The Net!
Guaranteed Date With Hot Local Escorts!
See pictures of escorts in your state so You can choose who to go out with.
Copyright © 2007 to present at Itty Bitty Teen Titties with all rights reserved and is not in any way responsible for the content of the third party pages to which it links.
Exemption Statement: All visual depictions hosted or displayed on this site are exempt from the provision of 18 U.S.C. §2257 and 28 C.F.R. 75 because said they do not portray conduct as specifically listed in 18 U.S.C §2256 (2) (A) through (D), as amended, but are merely depictions of non-sexually explicit nudity, or are depictions of simulated sexual conduct, or are otherwise exempt because the visual depictions were created prior to July 3, 1995.


text:
It must have been a slip up because there is no way, NO WAY, that Joesph Parks can be Abyss. Frankly, it is comical that you are even asserting that.
I wish I was sad and lonely enough to spam hate
just because i didn't agree doesn't mean i didn't listen, it just means you were wrong. Now go away please.
Divas to believe in.


text:
|Home > Supplies > Spa Parts > Audio - Spa Stereo > Milennia Multimedia 160W Spa Receiver AM/FM/USB
View Larger Image
Email to Friend
Milennia Multimedia 160W Spa Receiver AM/FM/USB
Ideal Add-on or Retrofit / Replacement Stereo Receiver for Spas
Featuring rock-solid reliability and great sound, the space-saving Milennia MR60 is one of the easiest spa stereo receivers to install! Portable media ready, it's also the perfect replacement audio system. Engineered to withstand the marine environment, the mechless MR60 is naturally right at home around hot tub spas and water.
160 Watts
This compact receiver is simple to install where available space is limited. Operating at 4 x 40 watts, the innovative Milennia MR60 is a sleek AM/FM/MP3 portable media receiver. It features an ergonomic, rotary-style volume knob and auxiliary inputs on the front panel. Mechless design for reliable operation in all environments.
In addition to hot tubs, the versatile MR-60 is also ideal for many other applications from fishing boats to ATVs, motorcycles, and golf carts. At our low price, it is also a fantastic value.
Spa Cabinet Installation Guide
Product notes: Installation size 7-1/8"W x 2-1/8"H x 4-1/4"D. Overall size 7-3/8"W x 2-1/4"H x 5-1/8"D. Power requirement: 12V DC. From Prospec Electronics. Instruction manual provided. Ideal match for our speakers, power supply, and weather cover (related products below).


text:
Hey guys. I'm currently looking for a scripting language with a tiny footprint (less than 3KB RAM and a binary that when compiled is less than 20/30KB).
All I need is the ability to evaluate statements similar to first order logic.
For example: !(x : X | x > 5)
Would mean that "for all x in the set X, return true if all xs are greater than 5, otherwise return false".
I need the ability to define functions that would return these sets (The ability to define X and pass parameters to that function that returns a set).
It would also need to be able to support a limited form of structures, where an attribute could be obtained on a certain variable (eg. x.count).
As for data types, integer, floating point and sets are about all I need. Anything else would probably be ripped out to save space.
It needs to be written in C and the ability to compile on old versions of GCC (3.4.x) would also be useful.
Anyone got any ideas? Ideally I don't want to have to write this myself.


text:
Stella McCartney
Double Buckle Moto Boot
Product Actions
Synthetic leather round toe mid-calf moto boot with adjustable buckle straps at vamp and topline. Faux shearling lining and thick crepe sole.
Need Help? Have Questions? Contact Us.
Please call 1.888.222.7639 to speak with a Customer Service Representative.
We're here to help you:
Monday - Friday, 9 AM - 9 PM (ET)
Saturday - Sunday, 11:30 AM - 8 PM (ET)
If you prefer email, we can be reached anytime at firstname.lastname@example.com.
Our Shipping & Returns Policy can be viewed here.


text:
Carmelo Anthony has officially exercised his early termination option with New York on Monday, as expected.
Manu Ginobili has officially agreed to a two-year deal with the Spurs.
Marcus Smart hit 6-of-20 shots (2-of-10 3PTs, 12-of-13 FTs) for 26 points, five rebounds, eight assists, two steals and one block in Monday's preseason loss to the Jazz.
Rodney Hood looked fantastic against the Celtics on Monday, scoring 23 points with 10 rebounds, four assists, two steals and one 3-pointer.
Dante Exum left Monday's preseason game with a left ankle injury and did not return, finishing with 20 points on 5-of-11 shooting (1-of-5 3PTs, 9-of-10 FTs), five rebounds and five assists in 29 minutes.
Mo Williams has reached an agreement with the Cavs on a two-year, $4.3 million deal.
Jahlil Okafor scored 20 points on 10-of-22 shooting (0-for-4 free throws) with nine rebounds, one steal and two blocks in Monday's preseason debut against the Spurs.
Joe Ingles is finalizing a two-year, $4.5 million deal with the Jazz.
Leandro Barbosa and the Warriors agreed on a one-year, $2.5 million deal.
Stanley Johnson had an efficient game against the Heat on Monday, making 4-of-5 from the field for 14 points with seven rebounds, two assists, two steals, one block and two 3-pointers.
Mitch McGary showed off his offensive skill set against the Magic during a 73-65 win, making 9-of-12 from the field for 19 points with three rebounds, two assists, two steals and two fouls in 25 minutes.
Aaron Gordon looked fantastic again on Monday against the Thunder, scoring 21 points with 10 rebounds, three assists, three steals and one 3-pointer on 8-of-11 from the field.


text:
The Kinetico Difference - What Makes Kinetico Unique?
Water Softeners
Drinking Water System
Water Filters
- Company HistoryDe Anza Water Conditioning - with over 40 Years of water conditioning experience!
- Customer TestimonialsFind out what our clients are saying about their water conditioning / softening systems
- Some of our Satisfied CustomersExperience the Kinetico difference from our satisfied customers' stories
- FAQsTrust De Anza Water Conditioning for your water filtration needs!
- Free Onsite Water AnalysisContact us for free onsite water analysis
- Purchase Kinetico FiltersPurchase replacement Kinetico filters
- Our Service AreaDe Anza Water Conditioning - Proud providers of water filtration in the Bay Area and all surrounding cities
- Systems Design and PlanningLet the professionals at De Anza Water Conditioning plan and install your next water filtration system
- Technical SupportDe Anza Water Conditioning technical support - We are here to help!
- Rental CustomersSave money and rent-to-own your water conditioning system or water filtration system
- The Kinetico DifferenceTaste the Difference with Kinetico's superior water softening and filtration products
- Our ProductsWater softeners and filtration systems, whole house filters, problem water filters, reverse osmosis drinking water systems
- Water SoftenersFeel the difference with Kinetico water softeners
- Drinking Water SystemsProvide pure drinking water for your family with a Kinetico reverse osmosis drinking water system
- Whole House FiltersPurify Your home's water supply with a Kinetico whole house filtration system
- Problem-water FiltersAddress problem water with our Kinetico reverse osmosis, sediment, carbon, and specialty Filters
- Hours of OperationDe Anza Water Conditioning Hours of Operation
- Map & DirectionsDe Anza Water Conditioning Driving Directions
- Email UsDe Anza Water Conditioning Email Address
- Contact Us by Other ModesOther Ways to Contact De Anza Water Conditioning
- Other Related Contacts/LinksDe Anza Water Conditioning - More Contact Information


text:
Scope of immigration deal expected to emerge - Comments
We welcome your comments. Commentary and photos submitted to StarNet (azstarnet.com) may be published or distributed in print, electronically or other forms. Opinions expressed in azstarnet.com's comments reflect the opinions of the author, and are not necessarily the opinions of the Star, StarNet, or its parent company. See the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.
Our guidelines prohibit the solicitation of products or services, the impersonation of another site user, threatening or harassing postings and the use of vulgar, abusive, obscene or sexually oriented language, defamatory or illegal material. You may not post content that degrades others on the basis of gender, race, class, ethnicity, national origin, religion, sexual orientation, disability or other classification. It's fine to criticize ideas, but ad hominem attacks on other site users are prohibited. Users who violate those standards may lose their privileges on azstarnet.com.
You may not post copyrighted material from another publication. (Link to it instead, using a headline or very brief excerpt.)
No short set of guidelines such as this can spell out all possible instances of material or behavior that we might deem to be a violation of our publishing standards, and we reserve the right to remove any material posted to the site.
What's Hot
- 1 Kozachik to city: Clear me in prostitution probe now
- 2 Arizona basketball: Trier well-prepared for freshman season
- 3 Report calls Tucson economically distressed
- 4 Here's some help if you don't want the bedbugs to bite
- 5 Brothers raise money for documentary on '88 Cats
- 6 Kelsey's legacy lives on in Bald Beauties Project
- 7 Border fence jumpers breaking bones
- 8 Tucson men arrested after gunfire at Sahuarita party
- 9 UA researchers seek participants for Alzheimer's risk study
- 10 Street Smarts: Village for brainy retirees started with brainy scientist
Follow the Arizona Daily Star
Featured businessesView more...
Deals, offers & eventsView more...
Cole's Custom Painting proudly serving the Tucson Community offering Interior and Exterior painting services with an array of other residential and commercial services available. Call us today at (520) 461-4300 or (520) 544-4343 for a free estimate.
Cole's Custom Painting, LLC. has proudly served the Tucson com…
Remember our elderly loved ones with a donation to Elderhaven!
The dream of Elderhaven is that residents are welcomed into ou…
Free Estimates* for Complete Heating and Cooling Systems ~ Residential & Commercial HVAC Contractors in Tucson!
American Conditioned Air is dedicated to providing the highest…
Service Specials!
Visit our service center for the best rate in town! $79/hr.


text:
Not sure if it matters but I have Microsoft Office 2011 for Mac
I'm looking for a way for the following to happen:
Enter text in one area once. The text entered will appear in four other user specified locations within the body of my document. Everything will appear seamless as if it were just typed
Basically, I could Copy and Paste to achieve the same goal, but I have to do this for many documents and want to make sure I don't miss a "paste"


text:
Vibration Control Companies in Costa Rica
Category: Health & Safety ×
Subcategory: Vibration Control ×
Location: Latin America ×
Location: Costa Rica ×
Ampacimon s.a.
based in Angleur-Liège, BELGIUM
Ampacimon provides dynamic Ampacity (current capacity) as TSOs need it: Safe, Accurate and Predictive! Ampacimon is an innovative monitoring system for overhead lines. Ampacimon uses autonomous Vibration Monitors to capture conductor status data and transmits this data through the Internet to a remote server at the TSO dispatching center. The originality of Ampacimon is ...
Adash Ltd.
based in Ostrava, CZECH REPUBLIC
The company Adash Ltd., was founded in 1991. It is a private enterprise, which was established by its two owners in the very beginning. There is no foreign capital in our firm. Our main and the only business subject is technical diagnostics and mostly vibration diagnostics. In the beginning of the work of our firm there prevailed especially the realisation of software ...
based in Ottawa, ONTARIO (CANADA)
Instantel established a leadership position with best of class vibration monitoring equipment for the mining, construction and geo-technical markets. From specialized sensors and recording formats for unique monitoring challenges to remote data collection over the internet, Instantel continues a history of innovation based on one single driving force – our ...
Micromega Dynamics s.a.
based in Fernelmont, BELGIUM
Micromega Dynamics develops and manufactures innovative human vibration meters. The Vib@Work vibration dosimeter product range consists of wireless, easy-to-use, and affordable devices for both hand-arm and whole-body vibration exposure measurement. Those devices have been developed in partnership with well-known Health and Safety Laboratories. Those human vibration ...
SMICON bv
based in Wanroij, NETHERLANDS
Smicon`s approach is very much customer oriented. Our product solutions are based on each individual customer`s wishes. It is evidenced by the high quality of our products, our long-standing relations with clients and the service we offer.micon operates in a variety of markets. We have many customers in the foodstuffs, potato, fruit and vegetable, biogas and the animal ...
IMI Sensors, a division of PCB Piezotronics
based in Depew, NEW YORK (USA)
IMI Sensors specializes in the development, application and support of industrial vibration sensors, transmitters, switches, meters and accessories for machinery condition monitoring and predictive maintenance requirements.
Trolex Limited
based in Stockport, UNITED KINGDOM
Trolex is at the forefront of safety monitoring and sensing technology. We are leaders in new developments and our products have pioneered many new frontiers in design and performance in the most testing industrial environments. We work with our clients to meet their specific environmental and machinery condition monitoring needs or control requirements. Our sensors and ...
Optoacoustics Ltd.
based in Or-Yehuda, ISRAEL
Optoacoustics is the world leader in innovative, high performance optical fiber-based sound and vibration solutions for medical, industrial and pro-audio applications.We design and manufacture a broad range of products that meet very demanding requirements which cannot be addressed by conventional electronics. Our unique sensing systems blend the natural intelligence of ...
based in Houston, TEXAS (USA)
Metrix Instrument Co. was founded in 1965 in Houston, Texas. It was the first company to offer 4-20 mA vibration transmitters for seismic and proximity monitoring. This greatly simplified the process of vibration monitoring and reduced its cost. The company is focused on customer-driven research and development.
Kanomax USA, Inc.
based in Andover, NEW JERSEY (USA)
Since our beginning eighty years ago, with the founding of Kano Laboratories, Kanomax has been the market leader in the development of fine measuring instruments including our fluid mechanics, environmental, aerosol, particles and customized system products. As a company that prides itself in our technology and service, we have been enjoying an unsurpassed reputation in ...


text:
gucci nice microguccissima patent leather top handle bag
Cute, practical and versatile. The detachable shoulder strap keeps your options open while a compact feminine shape stays true to your style.
- dark red microguccissima glossy patent leather with dark red patent leather trim
- light fine gold hardware
- natural cotton linen lining
- small size: W32cm x H23cm x D13cm
- Made in Italy
- small spur details with equestrian inspired numbered holes on the handles
- dome shape
- top handle with 10cm drop
- detachable and adjustable shoulder strap with 54cm drop
- double zip closure
- interior zip and smart phone pockets
- protective metal feet
Please select a size
Select size Select size free express shipping Add to shopping bag Photo unavailable Unavailable


text:
SDN Staff Reports
The community is gearing up for its annual celebration of the holiday commemorating the birthday of slain civil rights activist Martin Luther King Jr.
Starting on Saturday, a spiritual comedy play — "I Love You but
You're Married" will be held in the auditorium at the Greensboro Center, which is located at 401 Greensboro St.
Tickets cost $10 in advance and $15 at the door. Contact any member of the Rising Star Lodge No.31 at 662-617-1643 for tickets or information.
At 7 p.m. Sunday, the NAACP will sponsor a joint "Celebrating Unity" worship service following the theme, "Look, Where the Lord has Brought Us," at Aldersgate United Methodist Church locate on Evergreen Street just across from Sudduth School time
Guest Speaker for this service will be the Rev. Lee Brand Jr and the Mass Choir of Bethel Missionary Baptist Church.
On Monday, Mississippi State will host the annual King Day Unity Breakfast beginning at 7 a.m. in the Foster Ballroom on the second floor of the Colvard Student Union. The keynote speaker will be Dolphus Weary, president emeritus of Mission Mississippi, an organization dedicated to racial reconciliation through Christian unity.
During the day Monday, the Volunteer Starkville organization will be hosting a community service day, with volunteers working to improve facilities for OSERVS (Oktibbeha-Starkville Emergency Response Volunteer Services) and the Palmer Home for Children Thrift Store, as well as assisting with the continued cleanup from the Dec. 1 tornado at The Pines Mobile Home Park.
Concluding the events will be the annual King Day March and Rally beginning at 1:30 p.m. Monday.
The march will begin at the north end of Dr. Douglas Conner Drive, cross Martin Luther King Jr. Drive (Highway 182) and continue on to the Rally at the Courthouse Annex. The speaker for the rally is still to be announced.
Community service day planned as part of King holiday observance
The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "Life's most persistent and urgent question is: 'What are you doing for others?'"
Volunteer Starkville will celebrate the 25th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr. Day by serving the community on Monday. The efforts of volunteers will be put into cleaning and organizing businesses in the Starkville community.
Volunteers will be serving at two non-profit organizations, the Palmer Home Thrift Store and Oktibbeha-Starkville Emergency Response Volunteer Services (OSERVS).
Volunteers will also be helping residents in the The Pines Mobile Home Park with their cleanup process.
OSERVS and The Pines Mobile Home Park will need help outside their facilities, so volunteers are urged to bring gardening tools. The Palmer Home Thrift Store needs help cleaning and organizing space inside.
"We're anxious for people to get involved with our new office and this is an excellent opportunity to see it up close and work with some of our emergency response volunteers. It is such an important service to the community and we appreciate everyone who is willing to help us, whether pulling weeds or working during disasters," said Becky Wilkes, OSERVS director.
Volunteer Starkville leaders would like to invite members of the community to participate in the service day. Organizers say this is a great opportunity for the community to come together and help organizations make it a better place to work, live, and give back to other organizations, said Elizabeth Du Bois, chief coordinator of Volunteer Starkville.
"We are very excited about MLK Day of Service being our first event of the New Year. Dr. King believed in making our communities a better place to live, so what better day to serve our community than on his holiday," said Du Bois.
Also, Volunteer Starkville members will be handing out free T-shirts to the volunteers serving on this day. We look forward to seeing all the volunteers come out to serve the community Jan. 17.
For more information on how to sign up to serve our community for MLK Day of Service 2011, visit the website at http://www.volunteerstarkville.org [1].
[1] http://www.volunteerstarkville.org