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Jennifer Johnson Is Sick of Being Marriedby Heather Mcelhatton
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Sometimes tying the knot just means getting strangled
Not too long ago, Jennifer Johnson was stuck in a cubicle, lovelorn and addicted to Cinnabon frosting. Now she's married to her Prince Charming—the handsome, wealthy son of a midwestern department-store magnate. But the grass on this too-manicured other side is not as green as she'd thought.
After a honeymoon from hell at a gated Christian resort in the Virgin Islands—bought and paid for by the in-laws and complete with alcohol-free drinks, curfews, and Satan-free yoga—Jennifer is beginning to have her doubts about the whole "happily-ever-after" thing. Soon she finds herself organizing Valentine's Day abstinence dances with her mother-in-law's church committee and dining with the ladies of the country club, who have their own theories about how to hold on to their men.
Is this really all there is to married life?
From Heather McElhatton, bestselling author of Pretty Little Mistakes and Jennifer Johnson Is Sick of Being Single, comes the next laugh-out-loud chapter in the story of an all-American everywoman whose every thought, flaw, and neurosis is on glorious display.
"In McElhatton's ineffectual follow-up to Jennifer Johnson Is Sick of Being Single, Jennifer's longed-for marriage gives her more than she had bargained for. Jennifer's likeable wit and sass are lost for most of the book as she morphs into a submissive, Stepford-esque Midwestern housewife, complete with dyed blonde hair, ,000 spa treatments, and sorbet-colored, country club designer attire. The story begins with tales of Jennifer and her tycoon husband Brad's botched honeymoon ('...illness, injury, and the unrelenting soundtrack of severe gastric distress...'), then trails into their farcical marriage. Brad's domineering parents give the newlyweds the mansion next door, which Jennifer is soon sharing with her new three-legged rescue dog and a ramshackle family of Asian housekeepers. Brad is rarely home, and when he is, he insults Jennifer's competence as a wife, leading to Jennifer's jarringly snarky lists and charts that fall throughout the book. The abrupt conclusion, when Jennifer's true personality starts to shine through the plastic shell, seems little more than a desperate ploy for the reader's sympathy. Where was that spark while Jennifer was being mistreated by Brad and his mother? Agent: Elizabeth Sheinkman, Curtis Brown. (Oct.)" Publishers Weekly Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
No so terribly long ago, Heather McElhattons flawed, neurotic, yet lovable average American heroine Jennifer Johnson was sick of being single. Now Jennifer Johnson is Sick of Being Married. The author who brought us the wildly popular Pretty Little Mistakes now favors readers with the next delectably eventful chapter in Jennifers life, as her new fairy tale marriage (to the wealthy son of a department store tycoon) hits a serious snag, thanks in no small part to a honeymoon-from-hell in a fundamentalist Christian compound and the prospect of a life of bizarre servitude to her devout mother-in-laws church committee. This is outrageously funny, wonderfully edgy contemporary womens fiction in the Helen Fielding and Sophie Kinsella mode that anyone who has ever laughed at the raunchy humor of Sarah Silverman or Chelsea Handler is going to love.
A wicked comedy about the perils of making your dreams come true
Quirky, clever, cubicle-bound Jennifer Johnson is desperate. Everyone around her is getting married, while she's still single and stuck writing ad copy about men's dress socks.
Her life hits crisis level, launching her into a humiliating and painfully hilarious quest to find Prince Charming at any cost. This includes agonizing online dates, diet-clinic cults, drag-queen fights, and a debilitating addiction to Cinnabon icing. When she meets handsome, wealthy Brad Keller, she wonders if he's the answer to all her dreams, or is he just too good to be true?
Darkly funny and outrageously honest, McElhatton's wit shines in this no-holds-barred cautionary tale about getting what you want--and how it can be the worst thing for you.
About the Author
The author of Pretty Little Mistakes and Jennifer Johnson Is Sick of Being Single, Heather McElhatton is a writer and independent producer for Public Radio International. Her commentaries and stories have been heard nationally on This American Life, Marketplace, Weekend America, Sound Money, and The Savvy Traveler. She lives in Minneapolis with Walter, the super pug.
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Originally Posted by
Yeah, maybe you're right. I'm just sick of the way Dancer has destroyed this team. You may be one of those who think stacking is ok so you don't see it. I know stacking is not against the rules but I am one of those who thinks it ruins the game sometimes. The second ranked player is playing the sixth match. That's stacking. Maybe you think it's good manuvering. Fine. Whatever. I'm probably done getting too involved in Ilinois tennis until Dancer is gone or figures it out. Signing out.
1) I am not one of those who thinks stacking is OK.
2) Stacking
against the rules.
3) When I see allegations that a certain player should have played several spots higher in the lineup, but the scores indicate he struggled to win in three sets down where he played, then I don't see the stacking.
4) ITA rankings are heavily influenced by fall play. Some players miss the fall entirely, while others have one hot tournament in the fall that pumps up their ranking but then play at their normal level the rest of the season. You cannot insist that the lineup follow ITA rankings. KU Singh would have to play #6 for the whole spring just because he missed the fall season.
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