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Dragnet Magazine Issue Two
Dragnet Magazine Issue Two features work by Susan Musgrave, Nick Ripatrazone, and Midge Raymond, as well as many upcoming voices (see the trailer). Dragnet Magazine is a new online/eBook literary journal that trawls the sea of stories for the best fiction. We publish energetic pieces that push the boundaries of narrative form and/or work that makes us laugh, smile, cry, or have any strong reaction besides yawning, which I guess isn't actually that strong a reaction, but you get the point.
Dragnet Magazine Editors' Letter Masthead Staff Co-editors Andrew Battershill Jeremy Hanson-Finger Jena Karmali Artist-in-Residence J. McKee Contact Info Web dragnetmag.net Email firstname.lastname@example.com Facebook facebook.com/dragnetmag Twitter twitter.com/dragnetmag Tumblr dragnetmag.tumblr.com Issuu issuu.com/dragnetmag Design cover Roxanne Ignatius Layout Jeremy Hanson-Finger Art Unless otherwise credited, all other art by J. McKee. by Andrew Battershill of Toronto, I feel obliged to spout off with some childishly na�ve optimism, while I am still in the presence of evergreen trees, cherry blossoms, and the wonderfully blue Pacific Ocean. And so, the optimism: If you are reading this magazine, you are, almost certainly, a very lucky collection of particles. As self-aggrandizing as that may sound, my point is not to puff up Dragnet, but rather to say that most particles in the universe have pretty shitty existences. The optimism is not going well thus far, but bear with me. As far as we can see, many particles seem to be in stars that die in a day, or planets that don't quite form properly. Earth, even in the limited context A s Dragnet prepares to leave the gentle, breezy West Coast for the focused wind-tunnel 2 Issue two of our itty-bitty galaxy, seems like a pretty fortunate planet on which to be a particle. And then, say by some crazy chance you are lucky enough to be one of the conscious collections of particles on our spinning, rotating planet the perfect distance from the sun, with gravity that neither crushes us nor lets us float away, and you get to be a human, with this heavy-duty brain and these super-complicated and dexterous hands with opposable thumbs. Opposable thumbs! And then, out of all the humans, you get to be one of the ones with the time, energy, and good humour to read an online literary zine. "Take another hit off the bong, Andrew." Well okay, ventriloquized cynical archetype, if it makes me feel glad to be putting out an open source magazine, I will take another hit off the gratitude bong. I will take a thick cloud of generalized emotional warmth and appreciation "straight to the dome," as they say on the West Side. 3 Dragnet Magazine eyes and told me that we'd spend a lot of time together after I moved to Toronto in a way I found especially sincere. The next day, while I was waiting for the 15:10 to Montreal, a freight carrying fuel derailed and every train out of Toronto was cancelled, and, as quickly as breathing (and while he was, in fact, breathing) Jeremy offered me his couch. Making art with friends and making friends through making art are the two best things I can think to do, and here at Dragnet I am surer than ever that those two things are exactly what we are doing. To our talented contributors, and our Dragnet welcomes a new member to our editorial family this issue, Jena Karmali, a friend of Jeremy's from his publishing program. I have met Jena in person only once; She, Jeremy, and I saw a Tim Burton exhibit at the TIFF and then drank puzzling cocktails out of glass jugs. Afterwards Jeremy headed east, and Jena and I took the street car north. Before we went our separate ways at the subway station, we exchanged pleasantries, and after the usual ones, she looked me in the Andrew Battershill, Co-editor xoxo lovely readers: Dragnet loves you all. 4 The way forward Jasmine Szabo-Knox Susan Musgrave Leslie Bank Caitlin Stall-Paquet Andy Sinclair Laura Ashworth Sarah Kendall Amanda Abdelhadi K. A. Laity Midge Raymond Nick Ripatrazone Reunion Talkin' `Bout My...Medication Derby Cheesy Kind of Love Speculations Little Accidents You, Green Sweater with Taped Glasses Me, Readhead Busted for Smoking A Waqui Way of Knowledge Soap Opera Digest Witch Creek His Children Contributor Bios 6 10 14 18 22 26 30 34 40 43 50 53 Dragnet Magazine Reunion by Jasmine Szabo-Knox O "Cute," I said. their basement. wen wanted to see me again, is what he said on the phone. I met him in front of I really had to go but there were mean looking teenagers loitering. Owen told me to hold it. He took me by the elbow and across the parking lot inside. I used the bathroom and he bought me a red slushie plus an all-access bracelet. He asked me what I wanted to do. We were still shivering from the outside and it hurt to sip my drink. "I'll do whatever," I said. He bought himself a screwdriver from the bowling alley bar, but he wasn't up to bowl, he said. "Can you skate?" he asked. "Probably," I said. He bought himself another screwdriver and me a hot dog. We went upstairs to the roller disco and they wouldn't let me in with food. There were four tables with empty chairs in the lounge between the staircase and the disco so I sat and ate my dinner. Owen ran downstairs for another his office in the Techno Park, and he was feeding a groundhog Doritos. He was sort of balding and I liked the tan suit he wore under a black parka. After work I changed into jeans in a bathroom stall and my skirt suit was in a grocery bag in my trunk. I followed his car in my car to the Recreateque. We never went there when we'd dated. We played cards with his parents in their kitchen and had sex in Owen drove too slowly and used his horn all the time. He got cut off a lot. We hugged in the parking lot of the Recreateque, which was shared with a McDonald's. I wanted to use their bathroom because it was closer to us. 6 Issue two Andrew Hammerand 7 Dragnet Magazine screwdriver. I asked for size 8 skates but they were all out. There were six people on the floor. I crammed one mitt into each size 9 skate and stood up. I felt like Bambi. I practised for a few minutes on the outside of the rink, near Owen, who sat in a chair. "I feel like I'm learning to walk all over again," I said. "Baby elephants learn to walk pretty much right away," he said. "I saw an elephant birth on YouTube and ten minutes after it came out, it could walk. Have you seen it?" "No," I said. With a quarter Owen bought me a handful of red candy from a little machine, then went downstairs for another screwdriver. When he came back I was making my way around the rink. I didn't fall. Sometimes I got good but then the disco lights would throw me off and I'd wobble. I kept my eyes on my skates except when I passed by Owen, then I'd shrug and I'd giggle. Giggling is a bad habit of mine. It became so that sometimes when I passed by I kept my eyes on my skates. I skated over to the DJ and asked him to stop playing house music. He said he couldn't, as per his contract with the roller disco. He said if I came any other night of the week but Friday, they'd play hits from the 90's. I said I'd come back for that. I looked over at Owen but he wasn't We played cards with his parents in their kitchen and had sex in their basement. 8 Issue two in his chair. He came at me from the other direction with a new screwdriver in his hand. "Are you flirting with the DJ?" he asked. "It's okay if you are." I said I wasn't and asked for a sip of his drink. "Take the whole thing," he said. "I'll get myself another." "You must get tired walking up and down stairs all day," I said, but he went anyway. I didn't want his drink. I hadn't even wanted a sip in the first place because I was only trying to be flirtatious. I gave it to the DJ. I skated around the rink for another half hour while Owen watched. At some point it was just me out there, and then me and another lone girl wearing a tight dress who wiggled her hips to the music. She was extremely graceful. I wondered if Owen watched her more than me. I skated over to his chair and asked him for a kiss. He kissed me on the mouth with no tongue. "I'm empty," he said, shaking his glass. "How many are you at?" I asked. "Fourteen," he said. "Wow," I said. "You impress me." He went and got his fifteenth. The DJ played Billie Jean by MJ and I gave him the thumbs up. I was a much more confident skater when real and good music played. I wiggled my hips and looked back and Owen waved. He waved for me to come over. I skated down. "Hi," I said, all smiles. "I have to take off," he said. "Are you too drunk?" I asked. "I think so," he said. I kissed him goodbye. I used a little tongue and decided his breath was awful. He was as good a kisser as ever. I made like I was going to stick around but as soon as he left I used the toilet and gave back the skates. I forgot I'd left my mitts in there and as I drove home, my hands on the steering wheel were so cold. My ankles really killed. I was also thirstier than I'd ever been before. 9 Dragnet Magazine Talkin' `bout my... medication by Susan Musgrave M y down father in the The passion that is for some of us depression has been variously described as "a frenzy of paralysis," "an active anguish," "a psychical neuralgia wholly unknown to healthy life." A healthy person sees the glass half full; the depressive, who has the misfortune to see the world as it really is, sees the glass slipping from her hand. In my case, trying to find a way out of my depression has been a lifelong preoccupation. No counting of my blessings has ever served to banish it. I cleaned my house, relentlessly, after reading that physical exercise unleashed endorphins. I self-medicated, read selfhelp books such as How to Live Well in the Afterlife. I tried geographical cures, hot baths, making marmalade, having babies. I especially tried crying. "Concentrations of manganese have called it "being dumps"; the way out was to pull your socks up and count your blessings. Winston Churchill, followed by "the black dog" all his life, drank to drown his blues. Dodie Smith, the English dramatist, recommended noble deeds and hot baths as the best mood stabilizers; when D.H. Lawrence felt glum, he "left off and made marmalade." "The secret of being miserable is to have leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not. The cure for it is occupation," said George Bernard Shaw. Andrew Solomon put his miserable leisure to good use by writing a 1768-page depression handbook, The Noonday Demon. "Depression," he says, "is something to do." 10 Kristel Jax Dragnet Magazine been found in the brains of chronic depressives after their death," I read, in an article on the health benefits of a good boohoo. "The lacrimal gland concentrates and removes manganese. Crying, therefore, may stave off depression. When even crying failed to cheer me, I made an appointment to see a shrink. I had to face the fact: life wasn't for everyone. I planned to request a physicianassisted suicide to help me over the bumps. As I sat waiting in her office I noticed a poster on the wall--a dark rain cloud contrasted with a sunflower bursting from a Prozac pill. "Feel better than good," the ad enthused. Another showed a mother and child skipping together across a flawless stretch of sand. Beneath the grainy photo, a note scrawled in crayon, "Thanks, Paxil. I got my mommy back." That was twelve years ago, the beginning of my on-off love-hate affair with antidepressant drugs. They have helped me through the sinkholes, but ultimately my depression sees them as competition, and doesn't play to lose. Ten days ago, when I had gone through a phase of feeling happy, though unlike "myself," I quit taking Paxil. I got "myself " back, with a vengeance. First there were dizzy spells, surges that started out small but quickly gained momentum, spiralling outward to blast like a colourless fireworks display inside my skull (the drug cartels call it "discontinuation syndrome") followed by days of electrical shock sensations that zapped me between the ears. There was no dark rain cloud even, but a gray drizzle of emptiness, a bleaker shade of black. And just as I was about to go back to bed and put a pillow over my face, I got a phone call from a chronically depressed friend in Toronto. The end, she said, was finally in sight. Her psychotherapist had received a fax from a University of Toronto research team: they needed a suitable candidate on whom to perform experimental surgery for treatment-resistant depression. The procedure, called deep brain stimulation (which usually came with a price tag of $40,000), involved planting a stimulator, "a Depression Switch," near the brain's centre and zapping in electrical impulses 12 Issue two from a pacemaker implanted near the heart. The operation would carry some risk, my friend explained (it was, after all, brain surgery, involving a brutal intrusion with only a local anaesthetic), and it might not work. "I recommended you," she said. "What have you got to lose?" "You go first, you deserve to," I insisted. Noble of me, I thought, seeing as they were only looking for one suitable guinea pig to lobotomize. The truth is, I didn't want to limit my options. If the Depression Switch included an on-off function I might have considered having one installed. But there are days when I like to curl up like a frozen prawn; I don't want to banish the blues forever from my brain. Just sometimes. So I can enjoy a good funeral, for instance, without getting depressed about not being the centre of attention. So I can laugh at my misfortunes, and cry if life gets better than good. But most of all I don't want to stop seeing the world--for what it really is. There are days when I like to curl up like a frozen prawn. 13 Dragnet Magazine Derby by Leslie Bank from a waist-high bucket sitting in front of the Portuguese fish store. A dozen, a hundred maybe. They scuffle south along the wet pavement; it's the slowest downhill derby I've ever seen. They must be heading for the waterfront, totally unaware of the fact that there'll be no ocean to greet them--just the lake, brown and choppy and lipped with cigarette butts. What a prize. Matt is on the sidewalk, too. He's crawling on both hands and both knees, pawing at the loose crabs with puckered fingers. His pants are soaked in the worst spots. He's wearing pale jeans, and a red t-shirt under my black hoodie. White running shoes. Blue and red and black and white. What flag is that? I go back to the last World Cup, try to picture which flags A ll the crabs stumble in the sidewalk cracks. They've hurtled their bodies onto the ground were hoisted in which hoods during which drunken street parties. It's South Korea. We're standing in Little Portugal, and he's a walking billboard for Koreatown. The storeowner finally notices his fleeing merchandise and runs outside. He's screaming--grunting sounds, mostly, the international language--first at the crabs, and then just at Matt. I'm a few feet away and safe under the umbrella, but my hands are cold against its wooden handle. There's a portrait of the Virgin Mary in the store window, stained yellow from years of sun. She looks awful. "I have one!" I only managed to get in a few hours of sleep last night. I expected to cry when I told him, but then I didn't cry at all-- only to wake up, still, somehow, with unsalvageable puffy eyes this morning. Retributive puffiness, I guess. "I lost it!" I look awful, too. A few inches below Mary, the owner has taped up an equally 14 Issue two Illya Klymkiw 15 Dragnet Magazine yellowed photo of the Spanish showgirl Charo. She's wearing sequins and holding a guitar and her hair poofs out of the frame. She's pouting rather than smiling, but she does look happy. At least somebody here is happy. Coochie coochie, her famous catchphrase, is scrawled in pen along the caught one yet. He can't stomach pain, isn't built for this, but won't give up on it. He knows I'm watching. He probably thinks that saving a single crab will save everything. When I told him last night that it wasn't going to work, he didn't have anything He's screaming -- grunting sounds, mostly, the international language -- first at the crabs, and then just at Matt. bottom of the photo. "Annie, could you help please?" The owner has already collected three or four crabs and deposited them back into the bucket but there are more than a few still heading for freedom. Matt hasn't to say back. It was 1:46. I looked at the alarm clock instead of him. He continued saying nothing. At 2:03, he stood up from the edge of my bed and started to pace, presumably looking for something to attack in rage. He ended up kicking at my 16 Issue two small wool rug. The edge of the rug lifted slowly and then folded in on itself. It was the most violence he could muster. He sat back down. He asked me if he had done something wrong. I told him no, of course not. He asked me if we could try to work through it. I told him no, probably not. I told him I was sure about this, but didn't admit I had always been unsure about him. He asked me if he could spend the night since it was already late. I told him no. He asked for the couch, at least? I told him sure, but only because the windowpanes told me it was raining out. The owner is kicking at Matt's heels, pushing him out of the way of two customers trying to enter the store. "Droga! Droga!" I have no idea what word this equates to in English. I picture Charo saying it like she says her catchphrase, swaying her hips and giggling. I halfexpected Matt to be gone when I woke up, but I found him sitting cross-legged on my couch. He asked me if I had any food for breakfast, knowing full well I was out of groceries. I told him I'd take him out to eat; I had to get him out of the house somehow. He asked me if I had anything for him to wear for the rain. I pulled a sweatshirt off the coat hook and lobbed it to him. He was smiling. I worried that we might've just dream-broke up. "Annie! Annie!" Through the dampness I can see Matt standing on two feet again. He's smiling, waving proudly like the flag of South Korea, holding a fat crab above his head. Its tiny legs are treading the air in slow motion. It's the last crab to be saved from freedom and brought back to captivity. That means it's likely the fattest and the dumbest of the bunch, but he pumps it up and down like a trophy all the same. I mock clap around the handle of the umbrella. He places the crab back inside the bucket and shuffles up to me in wet denim. We resume the slippery walk uphill to the subway station. "See? I did it." I can't see his expression for the cave of black fleece surrounding his face. He can't see mine for the black dome of the umbrella. We keep walking toward the spot where the street splits apart. 17 Dragnet Magazine Cheesy kind of love by Caitlin Stall-Paquet steel and saw the deep lines in his forehead, forged by her absence. He lifted the blade to the height of his shoulder and then brought it down swiftly and hard, slicing his target with expert accuracy. The Riopelle triple cream brie lay there on the sterilized counter split down the middle, right through its heart. As he observed the thin layer of its still-firm centre surrounded by the ripe, running cream wrapped still in the velvety-soft white rind, only one word escaped Adam's bow-shaped lips: Perfection. He uttered the word as a whisper to be heard by a lover's tender ear. A chill of pleasure ran through his body, making his knees quiver A dam sharpened his knife slowly. He looked at his reflection in the polished, impenetrable slightly. In a few days, the heart would have ripened totally, disappearing into cream, leaving no sign of its existence. He loved this moment just before above all. He took a second to close his eyes and breathe in the sour, milky smell before wrapping the wheel's two pieces in cellophane and putting them back into the fridge. He couldn't help but think of her. Penny. Dear, sweet, firm, Penny. A Gouda woman if there ever was one. Her words echoed in his mind, bouncing from one side of his skull to the other like a Babybel on the loose. "Oh Penny, why did you have to Manche-go?" he muttered to himself leaning his forehead on the fridge's cool glass, all alone in his cheese shop. "I just can't do this anymore. I can see it in your eyes. When you look at me, you're looking through me. Your heart is 18 Jackie Timpener 19 Andrew Hammerand Dragnet Magazine always back there, in that bloody shop." "That's nonsense!" "You're doing it right now; I can see your eyes drifting towards the fridge!" She got up, flung open the refrigerator door, grabbed the Stilton blue from the cheese drawer and walked towards the window. "No, don't you dare! That's a twentyyear-old vintage port's wet dream!" Adam exclaimed, bouncing up from the couch and quickly putting himself between the cheese and the window. "Everything has changed, don't you realize?" Penny cried out, suddenly flinging the piece of cheese across the room, splattering it across the painting on the opposite wall: an enlarged section of the table on the far right side of The Last Supper. Even Jesus loved cheese, Adam had told Penny triumphantly before asking her if the painting was hanging up straight. She'd muttered that she was pretty sure that was bread, but he'd ignored her. The colour drained from his cheeks as the blue ran down the canvas. He fought the urge to run over and scrape it off into a Tupperware. "Nothing's changed." "I can't brie-lieve you're leaving me..." 20 Issue two "Everything's changed!" "What changed?" "I can't deal with the change." "WHAT CHANGED?" he shouted. "You tried to change your name to Edam!" "It's a completely legitimate name." "For a cheese, it is! But that was just the beginning. The only time you even notice me anymore is if I dab bits of Camembert behind my ears." He shuddered. "I love it when you do that." "Eating Brie de Meaux off my nipples is one thing, but it isn't even enough anymore and I don't want to know what's next!" "It was Martin-Collet." "WHATEVER! We're through. I'm moving in with Hannah until I find a new place." "I can't brie-lieve you're leaving me all provolone." It was too late; the words were out of his mouth before he could control himself. She glared at him, went into their five-year-old-Cheddar-coloured bedroom and left with her suitcase. That was a week ago. He hadn't seen her since. The shop's bell rang. He looked up and a tall blonde in a velvety white sweater was walking towards him at the soft cheese counter. She bent over, looked into the fridge and gasped. "Perfection. Look at that Riopelle!" she exclaimed, five long fingers flying to her soft, round breasts. "It's straight out of my dreams. Ah! There is still just the hint of a heart. Can you imagine what it will be like in two days? I'll take a whole half." Adam's heart started pounding. "I just sliced it open 15 minutes ago." Their eyes locked. "I pressed one finger lightly on the top of the wheel and I just knew." Her eyes grew dewy like a doe in a spring meadow after a long winter. "I Cheddar at the thought," she replied, smiling wider than the half-wheel he held in his hands. They were married a month later. The enlarged section of The Last Supper now hangs over their bed. 21 Dragnet Magazine Speculations by Andy Sinclair I that." was the kid parents wanted their kids to hang around and with Eamon Sweeney it was no exception. We'd stay out Now moan and tell me you want it. I wouldn't play along with that, of course. But I wouldn't always snort and push him away immediately. Sometimes I'd be still and wait for him to stop, full boner under my tight underwear. There was no context for this. There was no psychologist interpreting over my shoulder that Eamon was experimenting with his own power. It was just me, enthralled and only knowing enough to not let on. I was over at the Sweeneys' place all the time. Eamon's father was never there but Mrs. Sweeney would make dinner for us and his sister Jenny. Sometimes I'd be there even when Eamon wasn't. They had a jet-black Isuzu Rodeo with beige leather seats, and Mrs. Sweeney would send me on errands with it. Then she'd make coffee and we'd sit and tell jokes and she'd tell me about the guys she dated before she Stephanie Coffey late, whipping up and down Lakeside or smoking dope on the ski hill and his mother would never question anything. I wasn't inherently better behaved than anyone else--just more of a chickenshit. I was caught up in Eamon's audacity. "You're too good," he'd tell me. "Say fuck." "Fuck." "Oooh, yeah. I like it when you say He'd sidle up behind me in the locker room after soccer practice and push his crotch into my ass, dry-humping me while his newly muscled arms wrapped around my chest. Whispering stories about the girls he was banging. You do it like this, from behind. It feels so good. I wonder why you haven't started. 22 got married. Her favourite one dumped her and moved to Toronto and worked at Queen's Park for a while. I told her he must have regretted letting her go. "Oh, I guess. I can only imagine what became of him." I was just getting into working out then and Mrs. Sweeney was into Jane Fonda. Eamon and I were playing cribbage in the living room one day when Mrs. Sweeney walked in wearing her pink leotard. She pushed in her tape and started exercising. Inhale up ... and down. Warm up those arms! "Mom! Gross!" said Eamon, and he retreated to the kitchen to make toast. I got down on the creamy Berber carpet and did the moves. "Nice of you to join me," she breathed out, between reps. "Why are people so afraid to sweat?" * I picked up Eamon on graduation night, before we went to get our dates. His dad was home from work to mark the occasion and he handed each of us a Bud. I was wearing my dead grandfather's illfitting tux. My parents instilled me with 23 Andrew Hammerand Dragnet Magazine love and comfort and not a whit of sartorial I wasn't inherently better behaved t h a n anyone else--just more of a chickens h i t . 24 sophistication. Mrs. Sweeney must have noticed my white athletic socks. She took pictures of me and Eamon arm-in-arm on the couch, drinking beer. "What a couple of handsome men," she said. She paused as she squinted into the viewer. "I bet you two will break some hearts tonight." We headed off to the Best Western. The tickets cost twenty-five dollars and included, preposterously, lime sorbet after the soup. This is what must have happened after we left Eamon's house: Mrs. Sweeney concluded that I simply could not spend my graduation night wearing gym socks. (She was the type of woman who bought a new Linda Lundstrom coat every winter and frosted her hair at the most expensive salon in town.) She raided her husband's dresser for some black dress socks and drove over to the hotel with Jenny. I remember Jenny coming into the banquet hall and looking around, taking everything in. She was fourteen. She smiled and waved me over. Issue two "My mom wanted you to wear these." I wasn't embarrassed because I was so used to being taken care of. I stepped into the lobby and took off my shoes and changed while Mrs. Sweeney waited in the car. After the dance we went to a party at Marnie Rodgers's big house on the water, where we experienced the usual drunken shenanigans. I woke up in a twin bed, Eamon curled up in a ball on the floor beside me. He'd gotten so wasted the night before that he'd confessed to being a virgin. We had the same crappy house painting jobs that summer and continued to hang around together. But Mrs. Sweeney had turned. Now she sounded irritated when I'd telephone for Eamon. And she stopped asking me to stay for dinner and overnight, though this went on anyway because Eamon didn't care what overtures she did or didn't make. Sometimes I think about her waiting that night in her car, fingernails maybe making soft clicks on the steering wheel as she watched out for for Jenny. Mrs. Sweeney was intelligent. She was a nurse because that had been the most prestigious profession available to her. What had she been thinking? She treated herself to a very occasional cigarette, so I suppose she might have been sitting there in a cloud of smoke. Was she remembering her own high school dances? I don't think she had a happy marriage. Not that I paid attention. I was too focussed on Eamon. I've never been able to figure why she felt so compelled to bring me those socks. Possibly it was some maternal urge. Perhaps she just saw another human being in need of help. In any case, she must have deduced that I lusted after her son. After that night her narrow eyes would scrunch up with suspicion whenever she'd ask if I was dating a special girl yet. She'd become a sleuth. She worried like any mother. She looked after herself and exercised and had a tight, fit body but even in her mid-forties she was developing deep and terrible crows' feet. Maybe from all that slit-eyed guesswork. 25 Dragnet Magazine Little Accidents by Laura Ashworth 1 is lacking. Mom When you love someone sometimes all you can do is keep them breathing. I know this for a fact. I've resuscitated my own I moved the uncomfortable plastic chair that I'd slept in closer to her. "But Mom, the smell alone would--" "I have a cold. My nose is all stuffed up." She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose--just in case I didn't believe her. My hand was balled up in a fist on her hospital bed and she spread her hand over mine. Her skin felt like cold plastic. I unclenched my fist because this is something Mom's good at, getting me to stop fighting for things. She noticed blue ink on my palm. "I love you," she said. "Who wrote that?" My phone vibrated from my back jean pocket. It was probably my boyfriend. He's the one who drew the sloppy heart all over my life line earlier today when I received the pink slip at lunch that said: come to the hospital immediately. "James did," I replied. "Is he still coming over for dinner Saturday?" she asked. Her voice sounded mother three times. I took CPR classes and everything because over the course of my sixteen years my mother has oops almost died more times than I can count on my two unnaturally large hands. I have as much medical training as a sixteen year old girl can possibly have. I'm a survivor's guide to suicide prevention. My social life calls these near death experiences, these suicide attempts, little accidents. Her latest little accident involved cleaning products. "I was cleaning," she said from her hospital bed, an IV in her arm. "And I guess I confused cup of Windex with my iced tea." My mother sucks at making iced tea but it definitely doesn't taste like Windex. 26 Elisa Cullingham Stephanie Coffey Dragnet Magazine raw. Like someone had put a tube down her throat and pumped her stomach, which they had. I hate thinking about Mom's almost lifeless body being carried away by EMTs who know her real name but still call her "Mrs. Suicide" instead. It must be nice to have that kind of distance when mom's in front of you maybe-dying, must be nice to be able to crack a joke. I tried to joke about it once. I was fourteen and walked through the door after soccer tryouts. She was sitting on the couch and I wasn't paying attention because she was taking her meds that year and felt better. I said, "Hey Mom, I did it. I made the vars--" and that's when I noticed Mom slumped over on the plaid couch, deep cuts from her elbows to her wrists: a letter opener stained, the yellow carpet covered in bills, my soccer ball still by the front door, so I kicked it. "There goes Mrs. Suicide," I tried to say when the paramedics arrived. But it wasn't funny. 2 Dad found her this last time. It's like we took turns. Switched off discovering mom's little accidents, some cosmic joke, some God laughing somewhere. I was the one who found her the time before this, a dull pulse on the bathroom floor. When I showed up at the hospital Dad sat in a red, plastic chair with his chin resting against his chest. "How long will they keep her this time?" I asked. "I'm guessing a couple weeks." He My mother sucks at making iced tea but it definitely doesn't taste like Windex. 28 Issue two looked past me, down the hallway. "Here he is." Her psychiatrist's face appeared expressionless. I, on the other hand, cried my blue-like-Mom's-eyes out. "So I take it she's off her meds again?" he said. I didn't like his tone. Dad and I did everything we could to keep her medicated. We bought her a pill box with all the days of the week and double-checked every time she took one. I manned MondayWednesday. Dad held down ThursdaySunday. "Open your mouth, Mom," I'd say, "and let me check." It's only a matter of time before one of her little accidents does the job. Dad and I both know this. We talked about this certainty at the hospital once. I said, "I just don't want to be the one to find her." Dad didn't reply. He looked down at his coffee and stirred the black liquid with a spoon. "Sometimes I wish she would just get it over with," I continued. "I know that's wrong of me. But sometimes I really do, Dad." "I don't know," he said, and twirled some hospital-style spaghetti around his fork. He didn't eat much. The fork just hovered below his mouth like a spaceship, and I thought about travel. "How did your English exam go?" Dad asked. My dad's an English professor at a local community college. His obsessions are Fitzgerald and keeping mom alive. "It went okay. Are you done with this?" I took his plate and finished the spaghetti. "You know me though, I'm much better at math." Dad laughed. It'd been awhile since I'd heard him laugh. "I don't know where you got that math brain of yours from," he said. But that was a lie. He did know. Mom is a math whiz. Used to teach math when she could function. "Maybe you were adopted," he said, and sounded hopeful. But of course I wasn't. Wouldn't he know that? Yes. I guess he was trying to joke. But he's no good at telling jokes. His inflections are always off. And when he says, "Maybe you were adopted," it sounds like he's just wishing for this, praying I'm not like mom. Hoping that something inside me won't shift and that I won't pick up a cup of Windex one day and drink it. 29 Dragnet Magazine You, Green Sweater with Taped Glasses Me, Readhead Busted for Smoking by Sarah Kendall or were you about to defend me from the bald man? I would have fixed your glasses for free. Same time, same place next week? * "So what?" "That's totally me." "What?" "Right here." "No, it's not." "You didn't even look." "Where?" "Right there." Y ou, Green Sweater for "You should really clean your screen more often. Lots of people have that sweater." "What about the glasses?" "So?" "I had to use scotch tape. They took away my key to the supply closet, so I had to use whatever I had at my desk." "You can't just buy your own stuff? You have to steal from work?" "That's not the point." "Post-its are like, what, a dollar?" "Try three." "No shit?" "How many people are on the train with taped glasses?" * with Taped Glasses. Me, Redhead Busted Smoking. Was it just me, 30 Issue two Jackie Timpener 31 Andrew Hammerand Dragnet Magazine "Tall, skim almond latte for Jack." "Can you grab it?" "You drink the girliest shit." "There's gotta be a link somewhere, right?" "Right there � Reply to Post. Pack up though, we're gonna be late." "This girl had the most beautiful hair. I can't believe this." "Why was she smoking?" "I dunno. She was soaked and her bangs kept dripping on her cigarette. It wasn't really burned down, so I guess she'd just lit it." "You have an oddly accurate memory for random strangers on the metro." "You'd remember this girl. Her cheeks were definitely red and her makeup was running, but she had these intense blue eyes. She kept cradling her backpack like it was a little kid she was protecting." "This was yesterday?" "I can't believe this. I was sitting cattycorner from her and I didn't say one freakin' word." "It's kitty-corner." "What?" * "Grande Americano for Ben." "Thanks, Jeannine. It's kitty-corner-- when you're sitting diagonally across from someone." "Whatever--the point is this girl noticed me enough to post this message." "Since when do you read Missed Connections?" "I check it out sometimes for writing prompts." "Pass me a Splenda. So, what happened with the bald guy? He snap at your woman?" "He got really pissed and kept yelling at her about his emphysema until she got off at the next stop." "Well, he didn't pay his $1.50 to breathe cigarette smoke--for that you only get the belligerent homeless woman who invades your personal space and smells like piss." "I'm pretty sure she'd just been crying, though. Who yells at a crying girl?" 32 Issue two "C'mon, we're gonna be late." "I gotta talk to her." "It says right there, same time, same place next week." "You think I remember the exact time I got on the metro at Woodley Park?" * "Thank you, sir." "You're welcome. God damn, it's cold out here." "I can't believe she noticed me." "Jack, get a grip. You really gotta get out more. I told you Jasmine asked me for your email, right?" "She's too political, and she's got those really thin eyebrows that make her look angry all the time." "7th and D, please." * "You got it." "Shit � I can't go." "Come on, I told you we'll walk to my dad's office before the show and get them fixed for free. Better yet, you should get a new pair. I'm sure he can get you a discount." "No, I can't, that's how she's gonna recognize me." "You can't walk around like that." "I'm taped glasses." "Wear the green sweater again." "I'm not--I'm not gonna wear the green sweater again." "Fine with me, look like an idiot the rest of the week." "I think I'm gonna skip the show, too. I wanna go back to my place and draft something." "You're blowing me off again." "I just wanna think about this." "Fine, but the next time Dolores calls you a flake I'm not defending you." "That's fair." 33 Dragnet Magazine A Waqui Way of Knowledge by Amanda Abdelhadi M of self-discovery. y editor Practically devoid of social graces, he wasted no time spreading his own gospel. "Well, I am here to illuminate you once more, Amanda. Also I don't mean to treat you like a waitress, but could you make me a cup of coffee?" Once I had fixed his order, he settled pleasantly in my armchair while I took the seat opposite him. Though my spirit animal has been visiting me for a few months now, he tells me that we have not yet reached the heights of ecstatic revelation. As such, every cigar-filled visit brings fresh anticipation of clairvoyance and an increasing list of confectionary requisites. The silence grew longer as my spirit animal sipped his beverage while gazing about the living room. The blood pounded in my temples as I waited for recently phoned with complaints about my irregular writing schedule. I was unsure how to explain that my absence from the paper was due to a week-long vision quest, during which I was visited by my `spirit animal.' My spirit animal is a Colombian performance artist and documentary filmmaker, based in Toronto, whose schedule is very inflexible so I have to take what I can get when it comes to journeys He materialized late one evening in a cloud of cigar smoke, hat askew, arms full of Super 8mm film, a TTC token in his teeth, and an unread poem tucked under his belt like a sword. He looked as masterful as a pirate. 34 Issue two Elisa Cullingham 35 Dragnet Magazine him to initiate our transcendental journey. It always begins with his fresh obliquity of expression. He started: "If the hardware store were closed, could the wise man tell a handsaw from a hack?" Though my animal spirit has phrased this as a question, I know better than to take this as an invitation to speak. We found out early on in our meetings that my premature replies interrupt the flow of his argument, and always make these opening epigrams seem less profound. "The modern North American could not, could not tell a handsaw from a hack," he answered. "They are an ignorant people and need to be educated in tools and tool usage by the very providers of these items. They do not know how to effectively handle a hammer, screwdriver, or powerdrill until they have been lectured to by the sales assistants in hardware stores. By comparison, the Colombian is a strong, intuitive master of crafts--he fashions his own tools out of other tools, tools he has made or inherited from the ancestor spirits. The Colombian knows; this is why he is a natural guide in matters of enlightenment. But the North American does not. He is slow, unwilling, and special. The North American must walk into these hardware stores and be shown how tools work through a `demonstrative display.' In each store there is a wall with these tools, preassembled, hanging and waiting to be tried so that our North American can learn. The wall boasts opportunities to push with a handle, pull with a handle, and twist with a handle. The North American gravely pushes, pulls, and twists." I nodded. "What this means," he continued, "is far greater than you can fathom. This demonstrative display is the last sacrifice on the altar of human fallibility, the last indication that the modern North American can never quite trust the cosmos, and that he dimly suspects that some day, in the maze of well-regulated electric-powered drills or tools, something will go completely crazy--something awful will rebound and strike him in the face, or the saw will come tearing through his garage door, mowing down his faithful, meek family." 36 Issue two Elisa Cullingham My eyes widened at the imaginary scene that he had conjured before me, a tableau of horror and agony evocative of Picasso's Guernica. Meanwhile my spirit animal, nursing his cigar, seemed pleased--both with my rapture and his own narrative. "Could we take the matter further," I suggested, "and say that the Colombian just might be more naturally suited to hard labour?" "That," he replied, "is a common misconception." The spirit paused long enough to notice that his coffee cup was now empty, and he tapped its rim a few times as a signal. I fetched the coffee 37 Dragnet Magazine pot from the kitchen and poured him a refill. He continued: "The Colombian is a spiritual creature rather than an earthly being." "I'm sure there are spiritual North Americans too," I said. "None replied. "You mean the paradise that I'm supposed to be reaching with these visionquests?" I asked, slightly irritated. "The paradise that you will reach once we have made sufficient advancement in your enlightenment," he retorted. "Which at the moment looks to require several meetings yet." "I'm sorry, spirit. It just seems a little futile when you make remarks like that. How can I even be certain that this paradise exists?" "Of course it exists!" he cried. "I can give you the exact geographic coordinates if you want, but for now imagine something like the Colombian Amazon. Besides, how can you doubt me? Which one of us is the spirit animal apparition?" that have tasted the otherworldly delights of paradise," he I conceded that he was, in fact, the spirit animal apparition. "You have no notion of the amazing wonder and beatific magnitude of this paradise. Holy spirits, holier than I, mingle in awesome radiance across verdant plateaus, occasionally showered in a kaleidoscopic rain that never gives you a head cold. I swim all day with fish and lie in the grass with beautiful women who feed me fruit. It is beyond comparison, beyond comprehension. When I'm not here, visiting you in this city, I am in that paradise." After this impassioned speech, I couldn't help but agree that it did sound like a pretty wonderful place, and worth the many trips to replenish my coffee cupboard. However, one small thing bothered me. I asked my spirit animal what there was about Toronto, what mysterious property, that had lured him back from the heaven that was the Putumaja. He thought for a minute. Then he said, "In Toronto, you can buy things so late at night." After that, the spirit was off. 38 Elisa Cullingham Dragnet Magazine Soap Opera digest by K.A. Laity T waits. itmuss Street: Babs and Henry finally agree to give the kitchen a much needed makeover while ignoring Frederick's pleas for help from under the floorboards. Felix, fretful over his creeping baldness, shaves the cat in a desperate attempt at camouflage. Hilda, however, remains unimpressed and leaves the gallery opening with Carlo, who intimates to Felix that he will be painting Hilda later (without a canvas). Marnie `Round Uxbridge: Penelope and Ralph continue their affair, although she finds there is too much friction between them and starts fantasizing about Teddy's gentle ways. Over lunch she confides to Sarah that she will ask Ralph to change from leather restraints to silk, but Sarah conceals that she, too, is sleeping with 40 Issue two Ralph and has already claimed the silk. Pauline drowns her sorrows in bitter, but they prove able to float. She conveys her myriad disappointments to Ralph over dinner but finds her brother distracted and instead turns to Teddy, who reveals that he is gay and has fallen for her brother. Ralph calls Sylvia suggesting an evening of Nutella and spoons. Netherwood End: Because he is unable to hide his accounting irregularities, Peter avoids meeting with Linda. He fears she will fire him, unaware that she is working Stephanie Coffey to bring the company to bankruptcy because Old Netherwood ruined her father. Patsy discovers the second set of books and forces Peter to acquiesce to her soft toy fetish. Bertram spots the two of them together at Hamleys and immediate files for divorce. A clerk in the store uses his mobile to record their inappropriate 41 Dragnet Magazine Jeremy Hanson-Finger encounter with an elephant puppet and puts it online, although it is dismissed as a hoax by everyone but the Russian mafia who set in motion an ambitious scheme to take over the chain. Frithville Five: Spurned by Rodrigo, Millicent heads to Harvey Nichols for a shopping orgy only to run into the Babcock twins who convince her to pleasure them in the intimate apparel fitting room. This act of surreptitious and closely confined abandon seems the perfect pickme-up for the milliner until the constables arrive. The consequent headlines help Caroline distract Kevin from thinking about her pregnancy and its unlikelihood while she concocts a plausible medical excuse. Bunny cleans. Lawrence, in a fit of pique, shoots his father, who complains bitterly about the ungrateful youth of today. 42 Issue two Witch Creek C album. by Midge Raymond arrie Smith is watching the news, wondering whether she'll have to evacuate. October 19 at 4 p.m. Tina Hodges � The fire is still miles away. Soooo glad I live Barbra Jensen � Me too. Carrie, I'm worried about you.Stay on the coast. near the phone. Carrie is listening to Johnny Cash: Burning Ring of Fire. October 19 at 8 p.m. Tina � Don't torture yourself. Carrie � It was Bobby's favorite song. Must've played it a million times over the last ten years. You'd think he'd call to check on us. Tina � Don't get your hopes up. This is why you joined the support group, right?! Carrie � Yeah, yeah. Barbra is watching the news. Witch Creek Fire a "serious concern." If you're anywhere near, get off Facebook and turn on your television! October 19 at 9:20 p.m. Carrie � Multitasking: watching news, packing, updating FB status. Barbra � How do you decide what to pack?! Carrie � Packing: kids' favorite things, baby photos, Xanax. Not packing: wedding Barbra � LOL. Guest room is all yours if you're evacuated. Carrie � Thanks sweetie. Keep you posted. 43 Eleanor Bennett Dragnet Magazine Carrie is listening to Billy Joel: We Didn't Start the Fire. October 19 at 10:22 p.m. Carrie is still awake. Listening to Grateful Dead: Fire on the Mountain. October 19 at 11:15 p.m. Tina � Did the asshole call? Carrie � Not yet. Tina � Don't wait up. Try to get some sleep. Carrie � W/out alcohol? I'll try. Carrie is packing. Just got a Reverse 911 call for possible evacuations. October 19 at 11:48 p.m. Carrie fell asleep on couch and awoke to fireman banging on door. At motel in Solana Beach. Facebook mobile. October 20 at 4:37 a.m. Carrie is listening to the Talking Heads: Burning Down the House. October 20 at 6:23 a.m. View all 18 comments Tina � OMG why didn't you call me? I'm calling you right now. Tina just saw Carrie and kids at motel. Their house is right near the Witch Creek fire. Send prayers, everyone! October 20 at 1:35 p.m. View all 22 comments Pamela Jones � We're well out of the danger zone if anyone needs a place to stay. Carrie wants to thank everyone for messages and prayers. October 21 at 8:16 a.m. View all 17 comments Barbra � I'm fixing up the spare room right now. I'll call you later. 46 Issue two Pamela � I'm so sorry to hear about your house. Anything we can do? Tina is at Target, shopping for Carrie. Feel free to send donations--they have lost everything! Facebook mobile. October 21 at 3:14 p.m. View all 5 comments Pamela � Tina that's so sweet! (So glad I met you at Carrie's party!) I can buy stuff too, or write you a cheque. Tina � Thanks, Pam. A cheque would be great. Carrie is still on hold with her insurance company. 42 minutes and counting. October 22 at 9:51 a.m. View all 16 comments Pamela � I have photos from your birthday party, if that helps with inventory. Carrie � Yeah, must replace every margarita glass! LOL. Seriously, thanks. I don't know what I'd do without you guys. Tina is collecting donations. Please help. Cash is best. October 22 at 11:30 a.m. Carrie is amazed by the support from family and friends. October 22 at 1:25 p.m. View all 12 comments Tina � I can't believe the asshole finally called. Carrie � He's been great. Like the guy I married. Tina � Beware!! Carrie � I know, they don't cover Reconciliation in group, do they? LOL. Tina � I'm serious. Don't trust him!!! His type goes after the weak and vulnerable. 47 Dragnet Magazine Barbra is making dinner for Carrie and the kids. October 23 at 5:04 p.m. Tina � Tell them hi for me! Did she get my voice mail? Carrie is grateful to her ex for the support. Springsteen: I'm on Fire. October 26 at 12:46 p.m. View all 5 comments Pamela � Carrie, I'm so happy for you and Bobby. Sometimes these things happen for a reason. Tina � WTF??? Carrie, call me! Carrie is listening to U2: The Unforgettable Fire. October 26 at 8:19 p.m. Tina has posted a photo album. October 27 at 8:10 a.m. Carrie's house from the front The pool, half the water evaporated Carrie's bedroom, what's left of it Tina can't see Carrie's profile page. Anyone else having problems with FB? October 27 at 9:34 p.m. Carrie is grateful for: her friends, her children, Bobby, and the rain. October 29 at 10:13 a.m. Barbra is wondering if there's any such thing as a "controlled burn." October 31 at 8:07 p.m. Tina still can't see Carrie's page. I hate Facebook. October 31 at 10:10 p.m. 48 Issue two Barbra is watching the weather forecast: more rain! November 2, 11:30 a.m. 5 people like this Pamela � Thank god. Tina � Watch out for mudslides. Tina would appreciate hearing from Carrie at some point. Especially after helping her when she had NOTHING but the clothes on her back. November 4, 2:10 p.m. Barbra � You might want to take down those photos you posted of Carrie's house. Carrie has changed her relationship status to It's Complicated. November 5, 11:36 p.m. Tina can't access Pam's page either. Your message is loud and clear people. November 8, 10:08 p.m. Tina has posted a photo album. November 9 at 3:10 a.m. The view of the Witch Creek burn area Burned-out street, Carrie's lot on the left Carrie is starting over. Realizing it's not as bad as it sounds. November 10, 9:04 a.m. View all 8 comments Pamela � You go, girl. Barbra is eager for the smoke to clear and the ashes to stop falling from the sky. November 12, 7:02 a.m. Carrie is listening to James Taylor: Fire and Rain. November 13, 11:13 p.m. 49 Dragnet Magazine His Children by Nick Ripatrazone mouth ovals. F Hips wide. our girls in dresses. Wrapped, tied in the back like a scout's knot. Waists cinched, bottle- eyes. He shook my hand but I held it a moment too long. I was always told that was the sign of being something else. He shook it off, or so I thought. I told my mother. Not that I held his hand. Not that I wanted Alison for all she was worth, which was a saying my father had, something he said to a man who was only at our house once but seemed to agree with my father about women. I told my mother that, for whatever reason, I watched Dr. Ford's hand as it traveled. In pocket, out of pocket. Around the back of his neck, onto the linoleum counter. Back into pocket, shifting his junk behind the counter, as if I could not see. Alison followed me, or the idea of me, to where the radishes raddled around a dead trunk. She flattened her dress against her thighs. I cannot, even to this day, remember the names of her fucking sisters. I had a book of my mother's of old Cheeks empurpled. In catoptric succession. They move and sit, talk and smile, all in deliberate gestures as if their bodies were gifts. Their hearts bows. Their eyes glitter. I have gotten closer, though. Four days after my birthday. 1974. All of them in a row, black shoe-heels arranged rulerstraight. I know their cerise cheeks. Alison was her name. It was her whose face was different. I told her as much. When Dr. Ford came home he palmed their cheeks and the shake ruffled their 50 Kristel Jax Dragnet Magazine Scottish names and I set the big book on my lap, heavy on my crotch. I spoke most of the names and none of them sounded familiar to my tongue. Then I realized that I would have had no reason to say their names; the only one out of the four I wanted was Alison. My father, talking to that same man, said an attraction to one sister bleeds mother's not thin lips, her father's lack of lips beneath his tweed beard, or if all the screams in the world melded for a moment, directed at me and my intentions. I had none. I ran. This was her property but soon enough all properties end and I was on an unmarked trail that could have belonged to an abandoned orchard because the Alison or the followed idea of me, me... into another. He said it doesn't matter if the other sisters are even attractive. They can be as ugly as oak wilt. All sisters share something, some dip or lean of a mouth, the shape of eyes. Sometimes I walked across the row of the four of them and stared but none of them looked like Alison. The one on the end had maculated cheeks. Even if I shut my eyes she would never be Alison. After she flattened her dress I put my hand beneath and I'm not sure where the scream came from: her thin lips, her dwarf trees slouched yet their trunks maintained a certain row. I was free, ready to present any oblations to Christ that I could manage. My brother had gotten a tattoo of the feet of Jesus at the base of his neck and my mother did not scream, she merely sat down and asked, why feet? Why feet? Why four daughters that look so alike, yet so different from their parents? Why answer these questions when the answer is under that dress? � 52 Issue two The Whole Sick CREW Amanda Abdelhadi has written for art galleries, dabbled in theatre and stand-up comedy, and appeared in the Houseband Reading Series and CKCU's Literary Being is like mean being to Stephanie to a Coffey rainbow. mean Landscapes. Now she's completing her MA in Art History at the University of Toronto and spends her free time writing flattering biographies for visual artists. Her website badcritic.ca is a collection of her essays about her strange experiences in the fine art community. Leslie Bank is a recent graduate of the University of Guelph's MFA in Creative Writing. She is currently at work on a novel and training for a marathon, which are kind of the same thing. She lives in Toronto. Eleanor Leonne Bennett is an amateur photographer and artist who has won contests with National Geographic, The Woodland Trust, The World Photography Organisation, Papworth Trust, Winston's Wish and Nature's Best Photography. She has had her photographs published in exhibitions and magazines across the world. eleanorleonnebennett.zenfolio.com Elisa Cullingham is an artist and art historian Andrew Hammerand is a photographicbased artist, and was born in the suburbs of Chicago, Illinois. Andrew received his BFA from High River, Alberta, who recently graduated from the University of Victoria. http://www.myspace.com/172323484 http://stephaniecoffeyphotography.com 53 Dragnet Magazine in fine art photography from Arizona State University in 2008 and currently lives and works in Mesa, AZ. His photographic work has been exhibited in various juried and group exhibitions, and most recently he was a co-curator of the traveling exhibition, "South Phoenix through the Eyes of Youth." things less and other things more (your help is appreciated); she plays in Toronto tweenoise band Alpha Couple, DJs, takes photos, draws sometimes, and obsessively curates while claiming she's "mostly a writer." She is also your haut, snooty barista, so please tip. Illya Klymkiw is not only an illustrator but Sarah Kendall is a graduate student in the Master of Arts in Fiction program at Johns Hopkins University. A short story of hers was featured in an anthology published by Writer's Lair Books in 2007. As an undergraduate, she studied short story and poetry writing under the guidance of Madison Smartt Bell, Elizabeth Spires, and Jonathan Jackson. A 2006 intern at The Writer's Center, she was an assistant editor for the Fall/Winter 2006 edition of Poet Lore. Roxanne Ignatius graduated from York University's visual arts program in 2005. She has since produced gig posters for the Polaris Music Prize and local music nights Silent Shout and No Shame, and artwork for Basia Bulat and the Rural Alberta Advantage, among others. Roxanne is also a regular contributor to Torontoist.com. In her spare time she enjoys sewing psychedelic quilts and listening to evil dance music. Kristel Jax should be encouraged to do some also a filmmaker. He is currently working on a postmodern detective short titled Furstenau Mysteries (http://furstenaumysteries. com). In his spare time, Illya enjoys casually giving you the impression he has a yacht and a chalet somewhere. K. A. Laity writes so much that she had to create some pseudonyms to keep her colleagues from thoughts of murder. A tenured medievalist at a small liberal arts college, she mostly tries to find ways to avoid meetings in order to write more. Find her on Facebook or follow her on Twitter to hear trenchant analyses and utter nonsense. Susan Musgrave has been labelled everything from eco-feminist to anti-feminist, from stand-up comedian to poet of doom and gloom, from social and political commentator to wild sea-witch of Canada's northwest coast. She has published more than 24 books and been short-listed for the Governor General's Award four times. 54 Issue two poems. His writing has appeared in Esquire, The Kenyon Review, West Branch, The Mississippi Review and Beloit Fiction Journal. Andy Sinclair's short fiction has appeared in fab, The Moose & Pussy, and The United Church Observer, as well as in the inaugural issue of Dragnet. His hosiery of choice is of the hunting variety. firstname.lastname@example.com Caitlin Stall-Paquet is a recent graduate of Concordia's english literature and creative writing program. She has been published in Headlight Anthology, The Void and Matrix Magazine. She is currently coeditor-in-chief of Headlight Anthology and Midge Raymond's short story collection, Forgetting English, received the Spokane Prize for Short Fiction. Originally published by Eastern Washington UP, a new, expanded edition is forthcoming from Press 53. Her stories have appeared in TriQuarterly, Bellevue Literary Review, North American Review, and the Los Angeles Times magazine, among others, and her work has received three Pushcart Prize nominations as well as an Artist Trust/Washington State Arts Commission Fellowship in Literary Arts. Nick Ripatrazone is the author of Oblations (Gold Wake Press 2011), a book of prose writes for the cultural blog soundbeatmag. com. She loves awful puns above all, even more than she loves her mother, which is saying a lot because her mother is awesome. Jasmine Szabo-Knox was once a creative writing student at Concordia University. More recently, she was fired from a bridal magazine at a Pizza Hut, over a chocolate sundae that wasn't even that good. She could really stand to catch a break. Jackie who Timpener graduated is from a fine the artist Ontario College of Art and Design in 2007. http://www.jackietimpener.com 55 trawling the sea of stories since twenty-ten


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Sleep and Sleep Disorders in Children and Teens Center - Lacey, WA
WebMD Physician Directory
Lacey, Washington
Sleep and Sleep Disorders in Children and Teenagers
How much sleep do children need?
Just as with adults, the amount of sleep children need varies with both age and unique needs of the individual. Below are general guidelines for children of various ages. Should your child be happy and th...
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Emergency Contact for Lacey
Nearby Lacey Hospitals *
Providence St Peter Hospital
St Peter Chemical Dependency
Capital Medical Center
Western State Hospital
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Mason Gen Hosp & Fmly Clncs
Madigan Army Medical Center
VA Puget Sound Healthcare
Mark Reed Hospital
Allenmore Hospital
St Joseph Medical Center
Mary Bridge Children's Hospital
Tacoma General Hospital
St Anthony Hospital
Providence Centralia Hospital
Good Samaritan Hospital
Saint Francis Hospital
Auburn Regional Medical Center
*Provider Directory Terms of Use:
The WebMD 'Provider Directory' is provided by WebMD for use by the general public as a quick reference of information about Providers. The Provider Directory is not intended as a tool for verifying the credentials, qualifications, or abilities of any Provider contained therein. Inclusion in the Provider Directory does not imply recommendation or endorsement nor does omission in the Provider Directory imply WebMD disapproval.


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1978 Yamaha DT125E - Requesting Aid!
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Studly Adventurer
Joined: Jan 2011
Location: Summer: Kemiö, Finland; Winter: North Germany
Oddometer: 869
I would too look up the bearings first as Twin-Shocker mentioned, just take off the ignition cover then try to push and pull flywheel forward and backward, sidewards and up and down.
If there is some play when pushing or pulling the rotor this is still OK, if there is play when you push / pull sideways or up or down then the main bearings has to be exchanged.
While you have the ignition cover off you can test the crank seals, start the engine and then spray some WD 40 or brake cleaner between rotor and engine case and rotor, when the idling will change than you have an air leak.
Just to mention:
The Yamahas have some weird sound expecially the 250cc engines not really healthy compared to other engines, the 125 normally don't produces so much ratteling noise.
Please check you intake manifold for cracks too, also check the reeds that are in the intake, there might be some issues too like corroded plates, ...
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EV 10.0.2 fix for Veronis issue?
Created: 15 Nov 2012 • Updated: 15 Nov 2012 | 1 comment
This issue has been solved. See solution.
Archiving task for exchange in version 10.0 sp1 fails with Error 2256 if Varonis monitoring tool installed on CAS server. The same issue reported by some other customer as well & engineering have created e track 2797634
can I get an update weather this issue was handled in EV 10.0.2, as I don't see any mentions for Veronis in the read me files...
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I very much doubt it's an EV-thing ...
Varonis has released hot-fix "Symantec EV Path v5.7.27 (Agent 126.96.36.199)". Please contact Varonis for addtional assistance.


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BEIJING (AP) — Months of sharp behind-the-scenes jostling reach a climax Thursday with the announcement of a new Chinese leadership that almost regardless of its makeup is likely to be much like the one it replaces: divided, deliberative and weak.
All but officially announced, Xi Jinping is expected to head the new leadership as Communist Party chief, joined by Li Keqiang, the presumptive prime minster, in a choreographed succession that began five years ago when the two were anointed as successors. Alongside them at the apex of power, the Politburo Standing Committee, will be a handful of senior politicians drawn from top positions in the provinces and bureaucracies.
Their ascent was nudged along today when a weeklong party congress closed by naming Xi, Li and the other leading candidates to the Central Committee, a 205-member body which appoints the new leadership Thursday.
Leadership lineups typically strike a balance between different interest groups in the 82 million-member party. None of new leaders owe their positions to Xi, but to other political patrons. Decisions are made largely by consensus, forcing Xi to bargain with his colleagues who have their own allegiances and power bases.
Party elders, with Hu Jintao being the newest, exert influence over major policies through their proteges, further constraining Xi.
If not gridlock, the incremental, step-by-step policy-making of the past comes as China confronts slowing growth, a cavernous rich-poor gap and a clamor for change, in protests and on the Internet, for better government and curbing corruption and the privileges of the politically connected elite.
"Even for a coherent leadership, those problems are challenging, not to mention a divided leadership, which hasn't consolidated its own power base," said Zhu Jiangnan of Hong Kong University.
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Pace 7
Stony Brook 77
(2-0, 2-0 home)
6:00 PM ET, September 8, 2012
Kenneth P. LaValle Stadium, Stony Brook, NY
Top Performers
Passing: K. Essington (STON) - 158 YDS, 2 TD
Rushing: J. Williams (STON) - 9 CAR, 144 YDS, 3 TD
Receiving: K. Norrell (STON) - 2 REC, 109 YDS, 1 TD
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Latest H5N1 Stories
A team led by scientists at The Scripps Research Institute and Crucell Vaccine Institute in the Netherlands describes three human antibodies that provide broad protection against Influenza B virus strains.
A new strain of avian influenza has be blamed in the deaths of over 160 seals off the New England coast last year, sparking fears that the virus, or one like it, could spread to other animals, including humans.
Building on previous work with the botanical abscisic acida, researchers in the Nutritional Immunology and Molecular Medicine Laboratory (NIMML) have discovered that abscisic acid has anti-inflammatory effects in the lungs as well as in the gut.
Research from the University of Melbourne has shown that two different vaccine viruses- used simultaneously to control the same condition in chickens- have combined to produce new infectious viruses, prompting early response from Australia's veterinary medicines regulator.
In containing a recent bird flu outbreak, 2.5 million birds were killed in Mexico.
Latest H5N1 Reference Libraries
Influenza A virus causes influenza in birds and some mammals. It is a genus of the Orthomyxoviridae family of viruses. Although the virus is uncommon several strains have been isolated from wild birds. Some can cause severe disease in domestic poultry and sometimes in humans. They are negative sense, single-stranded, segmented RNA viruses. Each subtype has mutated into a variety of strains with different pathogenic profiles. There is a vaccine for humans incase there is an avian influenza, or...
- A woman chauffeur.
- A woman who operates an automobile.


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More than 50 physicians from The Johns Hopkins Hospital, Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center, Howard County General Hospital, Sibley Memorial Hospital and Johns Hopkins Community Physicians are helping to champion the design and configuration of the Epic system. Each champion has been identified by his or her clinical area, ensuring that the system flows and makes sense for the needs of specific specialties. Those champions are also working together as a community of clinical leaders to inform the development of a patient and provider support system.
Find out more about the work of the Physician Champions.
SharePoint: list of physician champions
(Internet Explorer is the best browser to view the SharePoint site.)


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Other features include an index of daily scripture texts, an index of authors, a select bibliography on prayer, and a model for a one-day retreat. Beautifully bound in a leather-like cover, *A Guide to Prayer for All Who Walk with God** is an inspiring prayer book for personal use or gift giving.
A reliable companion for anyone who wants to develop or deepen a steady prayer life.


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City of Ely, Iowa
Your Information Gateway for Ely, Iowa
October 2 & 3, 2015!
Ely Community Center
Ely is a progressive community located in the thriving Cedar Rapids/Iowa City corridor. We have a diverse cultural and ethnic background. We have been welcoming new citizens to our neighborhoods in record numbers. Our city has undergone tremendous growth over the last ten years. Even with the influx of new residents, the community has not forgotten its past. Many of the historical buildings from our past are still standing in our historic business district.
We hope you enjoy browsing this site for information about the Mayor and City Council, businesses, living in Ely, and much more. We invite you to visit Ely soon, and experience our historic and forward thinking community.
Ely is the gateway to a progressive yet historic community, your gateway to Lake McBride and lots of other recreation, and your gateway to prosperity. Our gate is always open for you!
Mayor and City Council Members
Ely's Mayor and City Council members are:
Jim Doyle – Mayor
Bob Ballantyne – City Council member
Bill Grove – City Council member
Kay Hale – City Council member
Stephanie Mehmen – City Council member
Judy Wery – City Council member
Hazardous Weather. Please check various local TV and radio stations and other media for weather warnings and advisories; hazardous weather watches and warnings, notices, cancellations, forecasts, warnings and advisories regarding storms and severe weather. Here are links to the Cedar Rapids area media outlets and TV stations: KCRG TV, KGAN TV, KWWL TV, the Cedar Rapids Gazette, and the National Weather Service.
Click here for the most recent weather forecast for Ely from the National Weather Service.
Emergency Sirens & Severe Weather
Take shelter immediately when the Fire/Emergency sirens sound continuously for three minutes!
Ely's emergency sirens sound for three continuous minutes when there is a severe weather event like a tornado or thunderstorm with dangerous winds in the area. Go to shelter in a windowless room in your basement or the lowest level of your home immediately when the sirens sound for 3-minutes. Take shelter in the innermost room of the lowest level of your home if you do not have a basement. After you are safely in shelter check local radio, TV or other local media for more information on the weather emergency.
Linn County Emergency Management Agency (LCEMA), in partnership with our trained weather spotters, will closely monitor the weather conditions and activate the sirens from the Ely Fire Department when dangerous high winds or tornados become a threat to the area. During radar indicated weather situations, LCEMA directs our weather spotters to activate the sirens when needed. An "All-Clear" siren will sound for 1 continuous minute once the severe weather event has passed.
The Ely Volunteer Fire Department tests the sirens the last Monday of the month. During the test you will hear one short buzz for sound, followed by a voice warning that will cycle 3 times - once for each siren in Ely.
Contacting Us After Hours. Please call (319) 848-7603 if you have water, sewer or other City related emergencies after regular office hours (8:00 am - 5:00 pm Monday through Friday). Please call 911 for all fire, ambulance, safety and law enforcement emergencies.
Contact Ely City Hall
319-848-7603 (after hours)
Email: email@example.com
Mail: 1570 Rowley St, PO Box 248
Ely, IA 52227
Judy Wery Joins the City Council. The City Council appointed Judy Wery to the Ely City Council on March 9, 2015. Ms Wery joins the City Council to fill a mid-term vacancy that resulted when Dave Rasmussen resigned from the Council. Judy will serve on the City Council until after the November 5, 2015. Please thank Judy for her dedication to Ely, and willingness to serve our community.
Breaking News: Street maintenance and repairs on Banner Valley Rd, Vista Rd and Main Street north of Dows St. is scheduled to start Monday June 1 or Tuesday June 2, 2015 depending on weather. Work is expected to take no more than three days and includes scarifying the existing surface, grading and reshaping the road bed and applying two coats of seal coat.
Breaking News – Maintenance on Hoover Trail: The Hoover Trail between Ely City Park and 76th Avenue will be closed for scheduled surface maintenance Tuesday May 26, 2015, weather permitting. The segment should be open for regular use by noon Wednesday May 27.
Visit the Ely's Winter Farmers Market for a great variety of locally produced food and goodies in the Library Meeting room from 9:00 a.m. to noon on the following Saturdays March 14 & 28, and Apr 11 & 25 Contact Ali at email@example.com, if you are interested in being a vendor. Come by for the best in locally sundries and gifts.
Ely Businesses are Open for YOU. Stop by Odie's Bar n Grill, The Retreat, Lacey's Barber Shop, Hair Creations, Krob's Elevator, The Company Store and all our other great businesses for the best Ely has to offer! See the list of Ely businesses for more.
Highland Rd is Going to be Resurfaced this Summer.
Ely will resurface Highland Road from just north of Hillcrest St. to North Drive, and possibly all the way to Knoll Court, this summer. The City Council will request bids for both asphalt and concrete surfaces to determine which the best option for longevity and cost effectiveness is. Though initially planned for spring 2015, the City Council reconsidered the project schedule because of concern that rainy or late spring weather would cause delay so that the street would not be open for July 4th, and decided to have work start after July 4th.
KGAN Talks About Ely. Check out a cool story about Ely from KGAN that aired Sunday November 20, 2011.
"Leading Our Future" – Ely's Strategic Plan. Community volunteers worked together to put together a strategic plan for the Ely area. The plan engages community groups to work together for Ely's future.
Ely's American Legion Post, Post 555 invites everyone eligible to join the American Legion. Check out the new Post 555 website at http://elylegion.com/!
Hoover Nature Trail. The Hoover Trail offers a recreational connection to Cedar Rapids and other trails throughout Iowa. The Ely trailhead is at Ely City Park.
Linn County is considering options to extend the trail through Ely and further south. More Information & Map.
More New and Happening!
Newsletters & Other Media
· Ely Expression NEW!
2013 Water Quality Report -Annual report on the quality and contents of Ely's drinking water.
Ely Community TV
Southslope cable TV subscribers can check Ely Community TV at Channel 266 to find out more of what is going on in Ely!
"NOJOCO" Ely has partnered with The Solon Economist/Hybrid Publications, Inc., to bring monthly newsletters to your mailbox. The NOJOCO includes newsletters from Ely, North Liberty, Swisher and Solon Community Schools. Hybrid Publications also publishes the Solon Economist.
Ely 2 & 5 Year Plan. Click on the following link to see other projects that are on the Ely 2 & 5 Year Plan.


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"I had a great experience with Joe and Advance Mortgage and Investment Company (AMIC). Initially I had contacted three companies to refinance my loan, two were big banks, USAA and Quicken and the third was a company I had not heard of, AMIC. AMIC provided me with a knowledgeable local Loan Officer, Joe Davis. Joe guided us through the process and was able to use knowledge of the local area that the other two banks either didn't have or just didn't provide. He was very responsive and let us know what to do at each step of the way. I was very glad I picked AMIC." - Kirk B.
"Our experience with Jennifer and Advance Mortgage & Investment has been a wonderful and pleasant one. Jennifer has been excellent. She has helped us with each and every step without a lot of worry and confusion. It went so smoothly, it is hard to believe. Both she and AMIC are excellent choices for your mortgage and investment needs. We would highly recommend both to anyone." - Greg & Gwen B.
"Thank you so much for handling the refinance of our lake home. It was a pleasure working with you and we appreciate all you did to make everything go so smoothly for us. We hope your business continues to prosper and many others will have the blessing of your assitance. Thanks again for everything." - Ken & Sherrie R.


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Mon-Fri: 7am-1am EST / Sat-Sun: 7am-11pm EST
ApplianceMaytag Refrigerator
Level of DifficultyReally easy
Time to do repairLess than 15 mins
Age of Appliance1 - 4 years
Screw driversSocket set
7 out of 7 people found this instruction helpful
Did research on the internet, and learned that two capacitors on the main circuit board located on the back of the frig had gone bad. Tried to replace the two capacitors on the old board, but no success. So, I ordered the whole board and plugged it in. Only problem is new board is not programmed to frig. So, had to program frig. by following directions found on the internet. I saved at least $200. Thanks.
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Celtics happy to be home
|06.08.10 at 9:30 pm ET
The last time the Celtics played an NBA finals game at TD Garden was June 17, 2008.
The finals have returned to Boston almost exactly two years later on June 8, 2010, and the Celtics could not be happier to be playing at home.
'It feels good to be back home for a few games,' Kendrick Perkins said prior to Game 3. 'I think it's the finals, Boston-Lakers rivalry, just to see how the fans are going to be. I know there's going to be a lot of energy in the building so it feels good just to be back home.'
Even though the Celtics were 24-17 at home during the regular season, a drastic drop from their 35-6 records in the prior two seasons, they have reclaimed their turf during the playoffs. The C's have clinched the previous three series at home.
'[We're] back home,' said Tony Allen. 'Time to take care of business.'
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text: What would you consider some of the selling points of a cooking class??? Let's say that Joe Blow wants to put on a class what would you expect out of it??? Would you want to do the whole KCBS contest times(someone doing the cooking), would you want just an overview(short version of a KCBS contest), or would you want to bring your own pits, meats, rubs, everything YOU would use at a contest, ect???? Have seen so many cooking classes out there and they all offer something different.. Just wondering what your selling points are:-P


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'Rubicon' - 'The Truth Will Out': Along came poly
A holiday weekend review of tonight's "Rubicon" coming up just as soon as I find a cardboard box on my doorstep...
"Who are we working for?" -Will
"Everyone has secrets, Will." -Maggie
"The Truth Will Out" was a bottle episode, where everything but the brief (and here, frankly unnecessary) Katherine Rhumor scenes and the coda at Will's apartment took place inside the pre-existing API sets. As I mentioned when "Breaking Bad" did its memorable "Fly" episode, TV series often turn to bottle episodes as a way of saving money that can then be earmarked towards later hours. But if done right - and "The Truth Will Out" was done very, very right - a bottle episode is a reminder of how a good-to-great series doesn't big guest stars, location shooting, fancy new sets, VFX and all the other things that cost extra. All they need are their regular characters, the conflicts they have with each other (and with themselves) and the world that they live in.
The FBI's decision to lock down API for a day to hunt for a leak gave Will the opportunity to realize Spangler is the likely villain of his story, and to go snooping in Spangler's office while the big man was downstairs getting polygraphed. But it also gave us opportunities to learn more about the characters, or in some cases to have them confront things we knew about them.
Miles finally admits out loud to someone that his marriage has been over for months, and it seems like the weight has lifted enough that he might tell Julia (and here gets interrupted by the feds coming to arrest the leak). The erratic readings on her own polygraph force Tanya to confess to her drug use, and yet the experience of being trapped with these people all day seems to finally get her engaged in the hunt for George and associates. Grant's polygraph scene leaves things ambiguous as to whether he has cheated or is planning to cheat on his wife(*), but either way it's clear Miles isn't the only team member with deep marital problems. And Kale is, of course, cool enough that his polygraph test is a waste of everyone's time (other than those of us who got to watch Kale be awesome and hilarious throughout that sequence).
(*) I don't know enough about polygraphy - other than the frequent e-mail rants from a friend of mine who works in government and is offended that he and his colleagues are frequently being judged on the basis of what he considers to be junk science that is easy to fool - to say whether it's possible the machine could get triggered by thoughts of a future event. How did you interpret that scene? Has Grant cheated, or does he just carry lust in his heart?
We didn't get to see Spangler's polygraph test, interestingly enough. And given what little we know about what he's up to, the lack of such a scene suggests one of two things: 1)Spangler, like Kale, knows how to beat the machine (his monologue about how "this country implodes" if he's the leak suggests he is firmly convinced of the rightness of his actions), or 2)Spangler is powerful enough to have the polygrapher in his pocket, and the test was rigged. But now that Will knows Spangler is connected to Atlas McDowell, and that he was investigating David in the days leading up to David's death - and also that Ed knew more than he was letting on when the two of them first met - we're going to have to get to know our arrogant boss a whole lot better in the season's home stretch.
One possible concern: the show is stumbling along the fine line between showing that Will is an amateur spy learning as he goes, and between this man who was introduced as such a genius acting so often like, as Kale describes it, "the stupidest sonuvabitch in this place." How many times does Kale need to warn Will about what he can and can't do and say inside the API offices before Will actually grasps it? Again, Will is new at this, and he's not a robot, and I can sympathize to a degree with the idea that each new revelation is freaking him out far more than it would if he were analyzing it from the outside, but I fear we're one or two episodes away from him acting like the girl in the slasher film who runs up the stairs instead of getting outside the house, you know?
Still, "Rubicon" has showed an impressive growth curve over this last batch of episodes. The ratings have been poor, so we'll see what it is that AMC decides on as the benchmark for renewal. But either way, I hope Henry Bromell has a plan for explaining most of this by the end of season one. We've seen enough throughout the season - including in this episode's scenes involving Will's team - that there's a very strong show here with or without the conspiracy. So giving us resolution to that by the season finale wouldn't automatically spell creative doom for a potential season two.
What did everybody else think?


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Wiener's Circle: Its all about the Char Dog
Yes, from the outside it looks like your average dime-a-dozen hot dog stand. Yes, the servers will be short with you and rush you into ordering. Yes, you're likely to encounter many boisterous twenty-something drunks late on a Friday or Saturday night.
But all of that doesn't stop their Char Cheddar Dog from being the best hot dog in the city. Stop in during the afternoon and you'll be fine. Besides, a little personality never hurt anyone, right?
The Wiener's Circle: There are better hot dogs in Chicago elsewhere!
The restaurant is very dirty, the food handlers do not wear gloves while working with food and in the summer you can see all the grease on the sidewalk in front of this hot dog stand near their picnic tables--no effort is made to clean up their act. I'm surprised the Board of Health has not cited them. Eat at your own risk. If you are a tourist and want a better hot dog in a cleaner environment--then go to gold Coast Dogs or Portillos or a host of others that do a better job than this poor imitation.
Favorite Dish: fries
The Wiener's Circle: The Wiener's Circle
The Wiener's Circle is a justly famous hot dog place in Lincoln Park on Clark Street that stays open 'til 5am. Mr. Connolly & I popped by here during our trip last November but, regretfully, I did not try one because I was so sick at the time. I did try one of the fries, though, and they were great - hot & crispy! They serve these in a HUGE mound. You definitely feel like you're getting your money's worth here!!
As the Mr. is from New York (he was born in Queens and lived in NYC his late teens/early 20s) he feels he is a true hot dog aficionado and these do pass muster for him (although NOTHING, he declares, beats a real New York hot dog with "red soyce")!
Came back this past June to try one and it was absolutely perfect: char-grilled hot dog with a light smear of mustard, tomato slices, dill pickle, neon green pickle relish (a signature touch), with a poppy seed dusting on top along with "sport" peppers (see 2nd photo).
Terry's dog came with mustard, that neon green pickle relish, and grilled onions (see 3rd photo).
Photos: June 2009 & November 2008
Favorite Dish: Char-grilled dog and fries; their root beer is delicious, too!
- Road Trip
- Food and Dining
- Budget Travel
Wiener's Circle: Best Hot Dog in the City
Ok. So this is more of a stand than a restaurant, but it is a true Chicago institution. Be sure to step up and yell your order. While the wait staff are supposed to be known for their rudeness, I have found them to be more inattentive than abusive. There are no restrooms. The seating consists of picnic benches out on the street and a counter inside.
Favorite Dish: The hotdog to order is the chardog with the works. A dog with the works comes loaded: two juicy dill pickles, three ripe slices of tomato, and plenty of raw onion and relish. This should be ordered with fries (ah) and a cold lemonade. Remember- the true Chicago Dog is NOT eaten with ketchup!!!!
Sun-Thu 11am-4am
Fri-Sat 11am-6am
- Food and Dining
- Budget Travel
Wiener's Circle: Stand Up Eating at Its Finest!
One of the best hotdog stands in the city - if you are in the Lincoln Park neighborhood and want to grab a hot dog - or better yet, a Char Cheddar Burger , you cannot do better than this place. No real seating except for some picnic tables outside, but my kids love the place.
This place is legendary as a late, late night hangout after the bars close, but dont let that deter you from bringing the kids here during reasonable hours. The workers here abuse the drunks and give quite a show later in the night.
Just dont order a chocolate milkshake after midnight unless you know what you are doing....
Favorite Dish: Char Cheddar Burger for me , and the kids love the Cheddar Fries. I'm not sure if its real chese, but they have this, um, vat of orange stuff they ladle out on your grilled burger, fries, cheddar dog etc. Its a little glop of heaven.
- Family Travel
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- Beer Tasting
Wiener's Circle: Stay away from this place
In my opinion, one of the "big lies" about Chicago food is that Weiner Circle is a "do not miss" place, if you want to get a Chicago-style hot dog.
Resident (born and raised) Chicagoans aren't likely to be found eating in this place. It's dirty, I believe the food is of questionable quality (and/or prepared in unsanitary conditions) and the employees are surley and not well-trained.
The place opened maybe 20 years ago and was truly one of the better places and was so rated in all of the publications. However, the original owners sold it and the succeeding owners drastically changed it, but they continue to make reference to the good reviews the place received under prior ownership.
I've traveled long and far in the Chicago-area looking for good hot dogs, and, after two visits to Weiner Circle, I'm of the opinion it's an awful place
Favorite Dish: Eat nothing here . . . go to Byron's or one of the other good places in the city if you want a good hot dog. In the suburbs, try Gene & Jude's on River Road in Franklin Park (maybe it's Shiller Park).
The Wiener's Circle: The Best Cheese Fries!
This place has very good hamburgers, hotdogs, french fries and alot of attitude(but in a fun way). I came here late at night saw how the patrons and staff were yelling at each other . I thought I it was funny. But I found it was part of restaurant. The have the best Cheese fries here. This is place is good for a late night meal. The is quick, high quality, hot and very good.
Favorite Dish: The cheese fries
the char-cheddar burger
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Viewer Comments: Hip Pain - Cause
Patient Comments & Reviews
The eMedicineHealth doctors ask about Hip Pain:
Comment from: luckyshaner, 55-64 Female (Patient) Published: March 26
I have been a CNA Home Health Aide 42 years. The wear and tear over the years in doing my job has contributed to the cause of my hip problem. I am up at night with pain that radiates down my leg.
Comment from: Hannah Mac, 45-54 Female (Patient) Published: February 14
My hip pain originates from an injury sustained when I was taking my very energetic dog walking through sand dunes. He unintentionally ran into the back of me, hitting my knee. It somehow jerked my pelvis. I thought first of all that my pelvis was twisted, however, during the past 10 days the pain has moved into the hip area. The pain is now located in the lower left hand side of the butt near the top of left leg.
Comment from: Female Published: February 14
I fell over a piece of low furniture and my right leg came across and up the left hand side of my body when I heard my right ball joint click. I now find it painful to walk normally and I think it is now causing me to walk over heavily on the outside of my left foot. I am sure the injury is causing my right top leg to push in against my left leg which is causing me to walk over on the left foot and I can feel the outside left foot is very sore now.
Comment from: Artmist, 25-34 Female (Patient) Published: January 09
Car accident. The impact cause a herniated disk and narrowing space in my hip joint which has caused arthritis.
Published: November 05
I was in town when the pain hit me in the hip. I was sitting in my car. I had to get out of my car when the pain hit me. When I got home the pain got worse. I could not walk or sit. When I went to bed I had to sleep on my back. When I got up the next day there was no more pain I was sore now for two days in my back, hip and my left leg.
Comment from: wswjpw, 45-54 Female (Patient) Published: July 02
I have fibromyalgia and for the past 6 months or so, I awake with severe pain in my left hip that radiates to the knee. I sleep mostly on my left side and I awake in pain. It takes about an hour for the narcotic pain killers to kick in. By the way, the pain killers are for the nerve damage caused by thoracic outlet syndrome.
Comment from: cw, 65-74 Female (Patient) Published: May 11
I was digging flower beds in the back yard.
Comment from: Nana T, 45-54 Female (Patient) Published: April 30
I lifted a box that was too heavy, now I have extreme pain in my front left hip/abdomen area which is now getting worse and is causing me to limp.
Comment from: 65-74 Female Published: March 19
Dog jumped on me and I fell in street hurting my middle back and both hips. Now I have chronic pain.
Comment from: ms. jones, 35-44 Female (Patient) Published: March 12
My hip pain was caused when I was at work and tripped over a stool.
Comment from: ctd, 55-64 Female (Patient) Published: January 30
I am 55 years old and have worked very physical work all of my life. I am experiencing a tingling, burning sensation in my outer right hip area. This has gone on for several months. There have been times when I felt like something was there that didn't belong there, like an obstruction. I am uninsured so it makes it difficult to get medical attention. It is not affordable to me.
Comment from: Violina, 55-64 Female (Patient) Published: January 10
We had a really great snowfall (rare in our area) and I was out cross-country skiing every other day for an hour or more. (I'm 60.)The pain in both hips began during that and it is difficult to walk up stairs. Had done a fair amount of side stepping up hills and think I strained them. Snow is melting and I'm taking a rest as advised by these articles and also on ibuprofen. We'll see how it goes.
Must Read Articles Related to Hip Pain
Fibromyalgia Fibromyalgia is an illness with no known cause. Symptoms include chronic pain, fatigue, fibrofog (mental haziness), insomnia, headaches, nervousness, numbness, ...learn more >>
Minimally Invasive Hip Replacement Minimally invasive hip replacement is surgery performed with smaller incisions, which reduces the trauma to the tissue, reduces pain, and shortens recovery time...learn more >>
Patient Comments & Reviews
The eMedicineHealth doctors ask about Hip Pain:
Viewer Comments are not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your physician or other qualified health provider because of something you have read on eMedicineHealth. The opinions expressed in the comments section are of the author and the author alone. eMedicineHealth does not endorse any specific product, service or treatment.
If you think you have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately.
Report Problems to the Food and Drug Administration
You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.
From WebMD
Arthritis Resources
- Are You Managing Your RA?
- Arthritis and Lyme Disease
- Treating OA: Should You Give Injectables a Shot?


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UHF Adapters
Video Adapter Kits
The number of input and output ports on any new TV or LCD display is enough to make anyone wonder if they will ever get it set up and connected correctly. Hi-def TV brings with it the complication of relaying hi-def signals from the sources that support it as well as standard-definition signals from those that do not. Not all high-definition cables carry digital signals. Analog options like component cables add another complication to the TV set-up process. That's why we carry Video Adapters. Luckily, most connection problems can be solved using devices like switches, converters, and video adapters. Markertek is your source for Video Adapters that will get you connected!
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