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Monday, January 10, 2011
Fats Out of the Bag & Post Edit
We ordered a lot of food.
Dumplings and bulgogi beef and coconut chicken curry noodles and Thai basil rice and drinks and creme brulee with berries.
And it tasted like excitement, like having my husband all to myself in a little restaurant on a cold January night. It tasted like a perfect date night.
And it was.
After dinner was a frosty car waiting to take us back home, to pay the babysitter, to put the children to bed, to crash on the couch--drunk from sensory consumption--to our habitual life.
I wasn't ready, not yet, to think about responsibility again. The church meeting I had the next afternoon, the obese inbox, the popcorn kernels littering the floor in the den like post-party confetti waiting for a sober vacuuming.
True to form, my anxiety always triggers Fat Talk. The self-absorbed thoughts about my body powerfully disregard health or happiness to zero right in on insecurity. While Chup was paying the bill I exited out into the sidewalk crusted with snow and ice.
Eliminate Fat Talk, Janna said.
The air from my lungs billowed out my mouth and swirled into the atmosphere.
Eliminate Fat Talk, I repeated.
I thought about all the food--the glorious food!--I had ingested. How did I eat so much? How will I feel when I wake up in the morning hung over from pan-Asian spices and meats? I should have denied myself the last four servings! I am faaaaaaaaaaaat!
Eliminate Fat Talk! I chanted with desperate chattering teeth.
And then, something so true and so enabling happened to me, it caught me by surprise.
I heard a voice say, "So what if you're fat?"
And I thought about it. Fat has always been so scary to me. The word, the way it flings out of the mouth when you say it, the way it sticks when it lands. FAT. The Devil's own word to sum up everything that isn't right. I am fat has a thousand meanings, the least being unhealthy, the most being unimportant. I have lived in fear of fat for so long, it eats me furious and terribly and leaves me heavier than any number on the scale.
But here was a thought, holding up a mirror to say, here's fat. So what?
Are your eyes any less blue?
Is your hair any less thick?
Or your body any less vigorous?
Did those noodles taste exquisite?
Was the conversation interesting?
When you cracked the brulee, did it pop?
Does your husband desire you?
Are your children charming?
Is your home still cozy and warm?
If you are fat, are you still from heaven?
Are you always divine?
Or worthy?
No? Yes?
Down the street there were young kids lined up to hear a band play at a nearby venue. They huddled in small good-looking groups, yellow tights, faux fur, top siders.
The electronic sign from the bank farther down the street flashed 18 degrees.
Chup ducked out of the restaurant and found me. Put his arm around me and said, "Let's take you home."
And the scoreboard for the fight against my body image looked like this:
Courtney 1. Fat. 0
I've always thought I was fat. Even when I wasn't. Especially when I wasn't.
And I should say this, I don't want to lose weight, I've done that plenty times before. I want to heal, to cure myself from the disease of a body image illness. That's the unhealthy.
C. Jane's Guide to Provo:
Win a lunch & eat with me and my famous brother!
Dear C. Jane:
Be sassy in 2011. Here's how.
I am C. Jane Kendrick and it's the small victories, you know? You can contact me personally at cjanemail @ gmail.com or leave comments on my facebook page and if you are on twitter you can find my tweets here. But no pressure.
151 comments:
- {april kennedy} said...
Yay for the win! My girlfriend and I have talked about eliminating Fat + Calorie talk from our monthly visiting teaching breakfast club. We are excited!!
- January 10, 2011
- red said...
Absolutely awesome. You put into words what I think and feel most days!
Thank you! - January 10, 2011
- Linda said...
'I have lived in fear of fat for so long, it eats me furious and terribly and leaves me heavier than any number on the scale.'
Yay for you Court, although next time order the Creme Brulee FIRST so you know if you need to scale down the rest of the order and not feel so full xox - January 10, 2011
I can't even tell you how much I love you right now. This post meant so much to me. I have hated myself for so long for being fat. I've felt less worthy of my husband's love, my children's love, Heavenly Father's love, friendships, happiness all because I'm fat.
I can't even get over how empowering it would be to me if I began eliminating the fat talk and saying, "So what if I'm fat."
Thanks so much for this series. - January 10, 2011
- Marilyn said...
What about "tub" can we still say "tub"? Cuz that's what we call fat around here and it doesn't sound so negative... it sounds cute.
Ok, being serious now. I think this is really really important. I have teenage daughters and I don't want them to be as concerned about body image as I was [and still am.]
I want them to love who they are, however they are. And they will be many things throughout this life. At times, like now, they'll be thin. Great. At other times, like after they have babies, the weight will fluctuate. I want them to accept that, and work towards living a happy, healthy, active life.
Thanks for inspiring me [once again] to change the way I think. Because I KNOW that the way I think and talk will greatly impact the way my daughters think and talk.
I love you, Courtney! - January 10, 2011
- Debbie said...
Great post. I think you look incredibly like your mum. I suspect you think your mum is very beautiful, I certainly do in the pics I have seen of her, a real woman of substance in every sense. Your mum is not a size 0 waif and it does not diminsh her beauty, in fact I think it enhances it. She looks like someone that you could rely on, who would provide a shoulder to cry on and a kick in the seat when you needed it, a "proper" mum in otherwords. Embrace that your body looks like your mums as well as your face and take confidence from knowing how beautiful she is, and that you share that.
- January 10, 2011
I LOVE this post. Thank you Courtney!!
- January 10, 2011
- Cheryl said...
I love reading your blog. I've felt very much the same way, and I wrote about a similar experience here:
I'd be honored if you would read it. - January 10, 2011
- appledapple said...
You rock!
Thank you for this post! - January 10, 2011
- Bella said...
I cried reading this. Amen is all I can say!
www.itcouldabeenworse.blogspot.com - January 10, 2011
Although I fully agree that 'fat' should not be treated as the horrible, loathed word it has become in our society... I also want to caution against being okay with an overweight or obese body. Maybe especially because of those precious children, you'll want to get to a heart-healthy weight to be there for them for many, many more years to come (as God wills it). I've always felt that Western Christianity has sadly lost the 'dietary' aspect of viewing our bodies as a temple where God resides. That shouldn't stop at saying no to alcohol and drugs, but also to avoiding bad foods and being a responsible eater. God gave us the bodies we have and we should honour Him with how we care for it.
- January 10, 2011
- Chelle said...
Courtney, so raw and honest and brave...I'm floored. Let it shine, sister! xo
- January 10, 2011
I couldn't agree more with Shal. I have struggled with my weight for years, and feel like I have finally conquered fat by eating a healthy, pure, no sugar diet and still enjoying life and thinking of food as fuel, not as an obsession or huge experience. I think as Mormons, especially, you are missing the mark COMPLETELY by abstaining from alcohol, drugs, coffee and tea but are fat! I can guarantee Heavenly Father doesn't want you to be fat. Promise. He wants you to be your full potential, and being overweight complicates potential. Your post. Case in point. Start eating less, moving more, and then, guess what? You won't even have to post about fat talk. Clearly you aren't comfortable in your body, or you wouldn't be writing about it. Fat is not okay.
- January 10, 2011
- Tana said...
Thanks. I needed that.
- January 10, 2011
- Katie Rich said...
I love it. In my pregnant state, disappointed on the scale this morning, I needed this.
I really cannot believe that even on a post like this you would get negative comments. I don't know how difficult it must be for you at times to read unwarranted criticism, but I hope it does not keep you from blogging. - January 10, 2011
- Sammi said...
I <3 this post :D
It may actually be one of my favourite C. Jane posts. - January 10, 2011
It's all about loving who you are, regardless of weight. And I love when you said the fear of fat leaves you heavier than any number on the scale. So true. We let our fears weigh us down.
I have been through a horribly painful divorce. I was betrayed. And you know what? I was in shape, I was healthy (a size 6), and I looked a million times better than the women he had cheated on me with!!! They were all 15-20 years OLDER than we were too! So, body size, age, and anything that has to do with appearance means NOTHING.
I learned that my ex was a secret sex addict. It had nothing to do with me. Because I know the kind of wife and friend I was to him, I have held my head high throughout this experience.
I love how you recognize all that you are blessed with in life--because no matter what the scale says, you are a beautiful and blessed person that people love. And you should hold your head high! - January 10, 2011
- Kimberly said...
What an awesome post telling and awesome story of victory.
GREAT job on winning! And on writing how you did it so well. - January 10, 2011
- Dixie Mom said...
Right on.
- January 10, 2011
I agree with the point made by one commenter that we need to stay at a healthy weight in order to be there in the future for our children. We are raising a granddaughter, so I do everything I can to stay healthy and be there for her in the future.
- January 10, 2011
- thedomesticfringe said...
Kudos to you. Good post!
-FringeGirl - January 10, 2011
- Carrot Jello said...
I don't think Courtney is getting on the fat acceptance band wagon, "Anonymous".
I think she's trying to say,
It's o.k. to be where you are.
Sometimes you get fat.
Sometimes you stay there.
Sometimes you don't.
But you don't have to be miserable when you're visiting Aunt Fat.
You can give her a hug and stay a while, and still be o.k.
Of course, I decided to move in with her because she's a good cook, but I'm working on becoming more independent and moving out on my own.
Then I can just visit her now and again.
Because I'm bad like that.
The sweaters she knits are so cozy. - January 10, 2011
- eliana23 said...
Good one cjane, much thanks.
- January 10, 2011
- Molly said...
I am 30 and have been so called "fat" for about 30 years :) I was never the skinny child but rather the plump child that loved cake at birthday parties and school lunch pizza. I grew up thinking only men would like me if I was skinny or my life would atart if I was skinny. Come to find out I have had an AMAZING life being fat and very happy. And God sent me the BEST husband that loves me for I am and not what I look like, although he tells me quite often how beauitful and hot I am. So to all the people that think that being fat is bad, stop, its not enjoy your food and stop tormenting yourselves :) And love your life because you only get one and God wants you to enjoy your life and so what if your fat. Your knly fat by what the media tells you, because really why would you want to look like you are just skin and bones and need a healthy plate of a buffet somewhere!
~Molly P - January 10, 2011
- Janie said...
I am not coming to your comments section anymore as my new years resolution.
these people are so annoying.
thanks for the writing though - January 10, 2011
- Melissa said...
Just perfect! This might be my favorite post of yours ever.
- January 10, 2011
- Jessi said...
Beautiful. Also, it feels a million miles away to feel this way. I still got on the scale this morning and said, "are you kidding me?!". So I'm thankful that you wrote this as a thought to aspire to, even if I don't know it.
And you can not answer my email:)
Or wait two billion years to do it. I'm sure that takes ALLLLL the pressure off, right?! - January 10, 2011
- Michelle said...
I am at the exact same place with my "fat".
I don't think this discussion is about whether or not Fat is good for our bodies. Everyone knows that excessive fat can harm and cause serious health problems. I think the deeper issue is our emotional and spiritual health, and sometimes our focus on fat taints the joy we are meant to experience in this life and blinds us to the awesome and powerful women we really are!
This isn't giving us permission to stop taking care of ourselves, Courtney is trying to show us how we are here to enjoy life no matter our size, and it's silly to wait until we fit into our high school jeans to live and be grateful for every good thing.
I agree. - January 10, 2011
- Shannon said...
Sometimes its the tapes we play in our head that do us damage. We are our own worst critics. But sometimes it the things that go unsaid that also eat us away. I for one, had a baby around the same time Ever was born. I've found that I actually gained weight afterward which just bums me to no end. But I'm curvy & that's that. No need to wallow in it. I'd rather be curvy than skinny, hungry & unhappy any day.
- January 10, 2011
- Cathy said...
I cal l me: "fluffy" and eliminate the fat altogether! kudos to Courtney!!!
- January 10, 2011
C. Jane, you totally rock.
- January 10, 2011
- The Waite Family said...
Everyday that is a battle for me. I feel less worthy than my skinny friends and less attractive, even when I know my husband wants me and noboby else. It is truly hard and sometimes I have to remember that it is all in my head, that most people could care less what I look like on the outside that they like me for me and when is on the inside. Your posts remind me of all the good things that I am and that I should feel. NO more fat thinking!
- January 10, 2011
- Morgan Lee said...
I like what Carrot Jello said about visiting "Aunt Fat." That's exactly right!
I just had my first baby four months ago and I am the fattest I have ever been. I dropped 25 pounds in 8 days immediately after birth, then I plateaued, and then I actually started to gain. I didn't worry about it too much at first, but now with the holidays over I think about it more and more. It's hard not to let the thoughts become obsessive, and I think that's what this post is about: We shouldn't just throw our health to the wind, but neither should we fret and obsess and hate ourselves while visiting "Aunt Fat."
The "fat talk" in my head has become so loud recently, that every day I fantasize about weaning my son TOMORROW and then going on some ridiculous, over-restrictive diet just so I can fit into my closetfull of size 6 jeans which, truthfully, haven't fit me since two years before having my baby.
But this post reminds me that a preoccupation with how I look right now is no healthier for me than a burrito is. I'll lose the weight when my baby and my body are ready for me to.
Now excuse me while I go bake a batch of cookies. - January 10, 2011
- Darilyn said...
This is an amazing post. I love it and I love you, Miss C. Jane!
- January 10, 2011
- Kristan said...
Amazing how all of the years I've spent thinking about my own body image...and I've never quite thought about it in this way. Thanks for sharing, and congrats on the win, C. Jane!
- January 10, 2011
- Jaime said...
Really well said, Michelle.
This post was about CJane not allowing negative thoughts about body image damper her wonderful night with her hubby.
I'm sure Courtney understands the importance of being healthy, but is learning to not allow concerns about weight and fat and calories be all-consuming.
Beautifully written CJane! - January 10, 2011
It would be great to see some follow up posts about how you are doing with this--and I will also agree that, even though we should never feel bad about our image, part of the Word of Wisdom is trying to be healthy and moderate in all things. A wonderful part of these body image posts could be some steps of lifestyle change you are making--I assume you are trying to make them because you are the kind of person that doesn't just let life happen to you. Go for it and continue to feel great about yourself--you can do it!
- January 10, 2011
- Catherine Dabels said...
"There are a lot worse things than being fat, it's just that being fat is so obvious".
My mom used to tell me that when I would rant about my weight being so hard to manage. We have both struggled and we have our ups and downs with the fat.
I get you 100%.
I guess a worse thing than being fat could be a person who says that you should eat healthy and manage your weight like it's as easy as walking or talking and then leave their comments anonymously?Maybe they just don't get it. I hope they are grateful for their bodies that are so cooperative. - January 10, 2011
- Tanya said...
Yes, this. I like this a lot, and also Carrot Jello's comment-- exactly what I needed to hear today, as I've picked up 10 lbs this year from a place that was already 10 lbs higher than I'd like . But I feel good, healthy. I love food. I mostly eat healthfully. And this is where I am. Okay, then. Thanks!
And hope you're doing a good job of tuning out the negativity in the comments after such a brave & beautiful post. - January 10, 2011
- chicklegirl said...
2 Nephi 9:51.
- January 10, 2011
- McEngland like the McCountry said...
What an amazing post! LOVE LOVE LOVE when we build each other (and ourselves) up! Your self-confidence doesn't tear anyone else down. It doesn't make you look conceited or self-centered. It makes you shine and everyone in your light glow too. When you feel good about yourself, it inspires others to feel great about themselves too. Thank you for sharing this awesomeness!
- January 10, 2011
- a consummate generalist said...
It is the small victories. I tell people I'm the heaviest I've ever been and the HAPPIEST I've ever been. I would have never thought, when I was younger, that would be true. Because of all the commercials, magazine articles, etc that equate thinness with happiness. Guess what? I was also thin for 15 years - not so happy.
So, thin does not equal happy. Neither does fat. They are not related. The same people who love you (including yourself!) will love you whether you're thin or fat. - January 10, 2011
- tharker said...
I get it. And I love it. Thank you!
- January 10, 2011
- Noan said...
My favorite, favorite, favorite posting on your blog. EVER.
- January 10, 2011
- Carrot Jello said...
I want to give Janie a big fat hug.
- January 10, 2011
- Caroline of Salsa Pie said...
Thank you, Courtney. This was beautiful.
- January 10, 2011
- shelby said...
Loved reading this! I too feel scared of that number on the scale, or not feeling like everyone else. Thank you for nailing it. It meant so much to me!
- January 10, 2011
Like many other women, my weight fluctuates. I've recently lost weight and I am surprised by how people treat me now. Sometimes I want to announce, "I am the same person when I was heavier."
- January 10, 2011
Thank you C. Jane. It made me cry because I've felt this way my whole life about my body. I do exercise and try to eat well, but the weight doesn't come off...and you know what? It doesn't make me any less beautiful.
- January 10, 2011
- sarah, rsm said...
i love you, courtney jane ... enough said! :)
- January 10, 2011
The real question is... "what is fat?" Weight is different for everyone. I've met people who are 5-10 pounds above what they want to be and they think of themselves as "fat." We should all try to be the best that we can be. Period. I guess the next question would be... "What is thin?" It look different on everyone.
- January 10, 2011
- Becca said...
Yay you!!!!!
- January 10, 2011
I liked this post and the one by your neighbor Janna regarding body image--it is a very interesting topic. However, I agree with some of the others. It really is a balance--Do we become so okay with out weight and desire to eat that we become "okay" with obesity/ If we only exercise until we don't want to, I don't think it will really work. There is some discomfort involved in getting in shape but for many becoming fit is worth it and part of the satisfaction and accomplishment. Most things worth attaining push us outside our comfort zone. MOst of us just can't eat what we want when we want without some health consequences to face either now or down the road.
That being said, bashing ourselves and ridiculing our bodies is very self defeating.
Like I said it is a difficult balance but just "letting go" and accepting an unhealthy weight doesn't seem the right way to go either.
It is a struggle. You are right though--our whole self worth should not be tied up in the number on the scale. - January 10, 2011
- Butlers said...
I'd rather be fat and happy than skinny and witchy!! :)
You are beautiful just as you are.
Fat gets a MAJOR 0!! - January 10, 2011
- Shannon said...
OH I so needed this today! I am the fatty of the family, and it's like a bag of rocks that I have carried with me my whole life, always looking back on those rocks and wondering why they have to follow me. Grr! Thanks for this post!
- January 10, 2011
- nikki said...
What a great post!
- January 10, 2011
- Cindy said...
I couldn't agree with you more...mosty. I have carried around twenty extra pounds more than necessary for the past five years. I'm going to be 40 in a few months. I know without a doubt that if I ate healthier and didn't have this extra weight I wouldn't have the problems I do with me feet, joints, etc. Love yourself but remember the old worn adage too: moderation in all things.
- January 10, 2011
Ok, so you admit you're fat. Could you post fewer photos of your fat self so as to not offend those of us who would rather not see your ovese countenance? Your (fat) self-absorption is amazing. You look like crap, and yet you continue to post your chins and rolls and gummy smile for all to see. Vanity is a sin cjane (or C.Jane if you're pretentious).
- January 10, 2011
- Cindy said...
Angie, last time I checked, being mean and judgmental is a sin too.
- January 10, 2011
- Katie H said...
Thank you for this post. I have hated my body for years, even after losing a lot of weight, I still carry the former hatred/self image with me, especially post-baby. And shouldn't I be focusing on other things now, like my child/becoming a mother, rather than image issues? But it's important to talk about, and I want my daughter to grow up loving herself, body image notwithstanding. Thank you for doing this series - it's so important.
- January 10, 2011
- Lindsey Leon said...
i absolutely love this. love. love. love. thank you!
- January 10, 2011
- Colleen said...
When I read Janna's post last week, it made SO much sense. But, like you, when push comes to shove, it's hard not to criticize myself when my pants are a little too tight or I've eaten too much food and feel SOO full. I applaud you for looking the word FAT in the face and saying I'm not going to let that word have power over me tonight. You go girl!
- January 10, 2011
- Charity said...
i loved this post
- January 10, 2011
- Fresh Hell, Texas said...
An awesome victory! Thank you for sharing it.
- January 10, 2011
- brooke said...
I needed this today.
- January 10, 2011
- Diana said...
i saw you in this moment. i saw chup take you away! i'm sorry for intruding! but it was my first random cjane spotting, and i was excited about it. my husband and i were standing in that line, we didn't fit in. you looked perplexed, i wondered what was wrong. so nice to read it was actually something kinda right. we ate there after we got into the show, they were out of the thai basil rice.
- January 10, 2011
Oh boy. I read this post and the comments and then walked away from my computer and tried to stay silent. But I couldn't.
First of all, C.Jane - you are an amazing person full of beauty, energy and goodness. I admire what you are trying to do in terms of body image. No one should ever beat themselves up over the way they look. I understand what you are trying to do.
BUT (you had to know that was coming) I really have a problem with hearing anyone say, "So what if I'm fat?"
Let me give you some "so whats" based on my own experience of living with a obese husband who has taken "So what if I'm fat?" as his mantra.
1 - He has chosen to shorten his life expectancy, leaving me to raise six children alone. This is not a matter of if, but when.
2 - He has chosen not to be able to do anything active with his children. He can't help them practice sports. He can't go on scout hikes. He can't go on rides at amusement parks with them.
3 - Because of the cost of his prescriptions (all obesity related), the rest of us have to cut back. I couldn't keep my daughter in violin lessons because that money had to go his medications instead.
4 - I have learned after almost 20 years of marriage that my husband will never love me as much as he loves food. I am a distant second and always will be. I am heartbroken by this.
I have another friend who has an amazing, talented husband with a heart of gold. Because of the cost of medical treatments associated with his weight, they are going to lose their home.
Do I love my husband? Absolutely.
Do my children love their father? Of course.
But his "so what if I'm overweight" attitude HURTS us. Every single day. - January 10, 2011
- RenaeBell said...
You're lovely, inside and out. I wish you could see what most everybody else sees when they look at you. You'd be dazzled! :)
- January 10, 2011
- kelly said...
YIPEEEE! i so understand EXACTLY what you're talking about. thanks for having the courage to voice it, girl!! :) (typing as i eat my gourmet milk chocolate!)
- January 10, 2011
- UK Yankee said...
LOVE this, C Jane! Not so much a fan of some of your commenters, but love your blog and love this epiphany.
I think you're exactly right. If we're doing the best we can in all our responsibilities - as mothers/wives/friends/daughters, etc., then I'm going to say it too - 'So what if I'm fat?'
It is truly not the end of the world. And it's usually temporary - but if not, so what? It doesn't make me less of a person, less deserving of love or more deserving of scorn or ridicule. I am the same person I was 100lbs ago.
And I wave the B.S. flag on the 'oh but you're ruining your health' comments. Yes, sometimes that's true. But sometimes it's patently UNtrue. I've been at this weight the last 3 years and I have no health problems - normal cholesterol, blood sugar, blood pressure, etc. It's actually NOT a death sentence, and I think more of us should get our heads around that.
This turned into a rant, and I didn't mean for it to! I just wanted to thank you for this post. And to say to the rest of us, let's cut ourselves a break. Let's eliminate some of the self-loathing and stress and embrace our bodies as they are, and as we're working for them to be. You want to change? I fully support that - but do it right, without all the negativity. - January 10, 2011
- Butternutsage said...
I have spent my whole life fat and I am ashamed and sad but I hope this makes me start believing I am still a child of God and am still lovable. Thank you Courtney for allowing me to think "so what if I am fat"
- January 10, 2011
- Shari said...
You may never read my comment since there are like a billion on here but I had to comment...
I had this same epiphany a few months ago while lamenting my upper arm size. It's always been a problem area and I was feeling so frustrated by my lack of time and desire to do anything about it/them.
So, then I thought to myself...um...is it the end of the world if your arms a little flabby? And right then and there I felt total liberation! I was of the hook once I let myself off it. And now I'm not stressed about my upper arms. :) - January 10, 2011
- Linda Higgins said...
My fanny and hips are small but if I were to put both arms out in mid air like in flight.....my wings would lift me off the ground so I have to be very careful, unless I want to get somewhere in a hurry, and on a summer day, when the car windows are rolled down...and I happen to sick my arm out the window and you see that side of my car off the ground...well remember this comment and think of me....because I use to really really care and not I just have too much other "stuff" more important to worry about! lol :)
- January 10, 2011
C. Jane, you are my hero.
I cried a little when I read this at school today. - January 10, 2011
Thank you.
- January 10, 2011
Oh Angie, You made me smile with that "gummy smile" comment. So true!! I do worry that you'll get beat up for it by the cjane fan club members.
- January 10, 2011
- Suzie Petunia said...
You have put into words a lot of what I've been feeling lately. Fat? Who cares! Why does it matter? AND if fat really DID matter? Well, I'd have to say that most of my favorite people in the world are "fat". They enjoy life to its fullest (including food!) and they seem to be able to share that joy with others. I'm not trying to create a "fat stereotype", but if someone were twisting my arm... I'd have to say "Fat people have more fun." :) - January 10, 2011
- Geraldine said...
This post is PERFECT!
Thank you, C Jane. - January 10, 2011
I think people are missing the reason behind this post. For me, I came away feeling like we should accept ourselves irregardless of those things that keep us from feeling good in our own skin. As women, rather skinny or overweight we all have insecurities we dwell on. I have never been overweight but yet I still have things that I feel insecure about. I wish that women, in general, didn't have to be so hard on themselves or others. We need to embrace how beautiful we each are in our own way. I feel like some of the comments are very judgemental and I wonder why they even had to be said. I think you are unique and beautiful. Ignore those who would say otherwise, they aren't worth the worry!
- January 10, 2011
This is perfect.
- January 10, 2011
May we all be as healthy as you! - January 10, 2011
- Amy said...
I think you're brilliant.
- January 10, 2011
- Fresh Hell, Texas said...
Jennifer, I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. But let's mark a line here between acceptance of ones body as is and turning a blind eye to addiction.
I am fat...according to the charts. I swim every other day, I can do what I like, I've raised a beautiful son (often on my own) who I never missed out on activities with. My blood pressure and other measures are low and wonderful.
My husband is very fit...and until a few months ago he was an active duty Marine. He was gone a lot, he missed a lot of our child's life, the odds of him dying too young were always far higher than mine.
Yes, he was serving his country and we're proud of him for that but the cost to our child, out family was high.
We all make our choices.
However, sometimes we loose that ability to truly choose. Without knowing him, it sounds like your husband may have an addiction issue. Don't worry about him for now, focus on yourself. Get some therapy, get some support. You deserve it. - January 10, 2011
- Fresh Hell, Texas said...
Oh, Angie. I think you need a nap. Or perhaps a time out...or maybe a hug. One wonderful thing about the internet is that it is not mandatory viewing. You don't like something? Click away and never come back. Problem solved!
Some of us are struggling. Sometimes a friendly smile, even across the internet, can make a day just a little easier. C. Jane and I are very different but she's inspiring me to keep going, to brighten up my home, myself and my life. I am thankful for her generosity of spirit, of sharing. - January 10, 2011
- e. said...
dear cjane. you are doing good things. thank you.
- January 10, 2011
Seems like we are all playing a game of team fat verse team trim. We need to love each other as women and love ourselves as fabulous human beings. Only in this environment can a healthy body image/lifestyle be maintained without turning into obsession or neglect. Skinny does not equal healthy.
I am not a Mormon myself, but find myself constantly intrigued with your faith. Not an "i wanna convert" type of curiosity, but more of a "wow, this is fascinating" thing. One thing I find to be especially interesting is what seems to be an obsession with perfection. From reading various blogs to knowing Mormons in "real life," I can't help but to feel that in your aims to be pristine godly beings, you become somewhat self righteous and a bit judgmental regarding those who don't measure up... whether it's yourself, your congregation, or the pagans... harsh criticism without empathy sucks. While ya'll have so much going for regarding families and community, I can't get past this part of your culture.
And Courtney, I've always been drawn to your blog because you disrupt this stereotype I've grown to believe. You are like the rocky road ice cream scoop in a big bowl of vanilla. Rock on Sister Kendrick.
Feel free to let me know if I am totally off base here... - January 10, 2011
Oh I don't know. I hate excuses about being fat. And why is it that fat people always say, "But I'm so happy!"? I'm pretty sure anyone who is fat would rather be at a healthier weight even if they can't admit it. I'm sure they have cried a million tears over being fat. I know I have. People say, "It's just that I love food, I can't help myself, I have a bad metabolism, I don't have any will-power, etc, etc, etc." Enough! Even if you husband DOES love you for who you are, and would never dream of looking at anyone else, it's not good for anyone to be fat. It's not good physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally or psychologically!
We create our own experience. We create the results in life we believe we deserve!
We have to give different to get different!
We have to show up in our own life!
I agree with cutting down on the fat talk. But I totally disagree that it's Courtney 1, Fat 0.
Just because you were able to type that, doesn't mean it's true or that you even believe it. Come on. You are a much-loved and powerful, influential woman. You basically told thousands of women it's OK to have no self-control, no self-restraint, and that's it OK to love a fat body. Don't cop out on this. Expect more of yourself.
It's OK to love yourself, your spirit, your core, your wholeness without saying it's OK to love your fat. - January 10, 2011
- Kate said...
C. Jane, you are so awesome and such an inspiration. Thanks for brightening my day (and the days of so many others) and for offering such an empowering perspective on body image. :)
Thank you for this post!!! - January 10, 2011
- kmadolin said...
i would like to eliminate fat talk too. thanks for posting, it's nice to know other people have trouble with it. i always think i need to lose weight, even when i don't. i try not to talk about it or put myself down because i have 2 daughters and i want them to grow up loving themselves and their bodies.
- January 10, 2011
I wish you the best in your quest for self acceptance. I understand the feelings you express.
From personal experience, I don't think we can ever deep down, in the deepest parts of our soul, really, truely LOVE our fatness.
For me I had to realize that food was not happiness, comfort, entertainment, or reward, or any of the many reasons I loved to eat. Until I saw food as simply fuel for my body did I come to grips with my weight and self acceptance. I believe in vigorous exercise and fueling our bodies in healthy ways.
We are more "fit for the Kingdom" when we control our bodies rather than our bodies controlling us. - January 10, 2011
Well said Anonymous! - January 10, 2011
My, my, my. Did this touch a nerve or what! How would it be if everyones imperfections showed on the outside like fat does. If you were a particularly mean person, your ears would turn orange. Or if you struggled with being truthful, you'd smell like the sewer. "Well there goes someone who's judgemental, their hair is blue." Some people have great metabolisms and some don't. Period.The end. Fat doesn't mean lazy, it doesn't mean happy or unhappy. Why in the heck does it matter to anyone else what you look like. Looks are so fleeting. Focus on who you are not what your body is doing. Of course we should do everything we can to be as healthy as we can...but for ourselves, not for anyone else. You are an inspiration C.Jane.
- January 10, 2011
- Megan D. said...
Thanks :)
- January 10, 2011
- Sarah said...
Every day when I read your posts I become more and more convinced that we are twins separated at birth.
I can't tell you how many times your words are exactly what I'm thinking.
Love you girl!!!! - January 10, 2011
I loved this post so much and I love your post edit most of all.
"Feeling fat" has nothing whatsoever to do with your actual weight. I think that we as women lump all of our fear and self-loathing into our body image. Then when things are difficult, when our lives feel out of control we say we "feel fat". Sometimes at this point we use food to soothe ourselves, only compounding the problem and hiding the original cause of the "feeling fat". This is why there are women who are size 6 and say they "feel fat". It has nothing to do with size and everything to do with self worth.
Beautiful post from a beautiful woman. - January 10, 2011
Thank you C Jane..this is just how I feel. A friend recently posted this....When we can heal the child we once were, then we can become the adult we want to be.
- January 10, 2011
- CareGiving Daughter said...
You won!!!! Celebrate a first step to thinking healthier thoughts about yourself.
I have been where you are. I finally got "it" in 2005, when I lost it all and have kept it off to the point I don't think about fat anymore. It finally seemed to click.
It will click for you.
--Mari - January 10, 2011
Thanks, C. Jane. I've never had to think about my weight before - size 0 or 2 my whole life without lifting a finger for it - and certainly not an example of healthy living, just my genes. I turned 44 last year and, poof! The pounds hit me like a bowl of jello pudding. It's amazing and shocking to me, 30 pounds and one year later, how it feels not just physically but in every way. I feel so unattractive. I've stopped buying clothes because a size 12 is so shocking. I'm absolutely no different in any other way, besides being a little older and I wish this weight had come with some wisdom. For now, I'll just borrow some of yours and say thanks.
- January 10, 2011
Thanks for this. We need to realize that being thin does not always equal being physically or emotionally healthy. Our connections with others and gratitude for what we have is most important. As someone who struggles with anorexia (eating disorders never go away, I believe), I fear being fat. However, I also hate being miserable. I'd rather have the extra five pounds, be healthy, and enjoy life.
- January 10, 2011
- Cherry Tree Lane said...
it's all i can say right now, but yes.
amen. - January 10, 2011
- Natalie said...
I think you're lovely.
- January 10, 2011
- Eliza said...
Love this post. All of it, beautifully put.
- January 10, 2011
- Joanie said...
Thank You! YOur beautiful words are my thoughts also!
- January 10, 2011
- amyinbc said...
C Jane you put nothing out there but the POSITIVE. It hurts me to see people commenting with such negativity as I am sure most of us civilized beings are. Keep your chin up and keep on being you.
- January 10, 2011
I agree with what you've said, but let me vent for a minute and explain one of the reasons I still have body image issues. I've been fit and I've been fat, and I know that the world is nicer to those who are fit. I'm not just talking about compliments and flirtations, I mean people seem pay attention more to what you're saying, give your opinions more weight, find your jokes funnier, etc. I know I'm not the only one who has noticed that. Elna Baker in her memoir "The New York Mormon Singles Halloween Dance" said that after she lost 80 pounds (in a not so healthy way, by the way), she discovered this whole new world that beautiful people operate in, that she now belonged to it but didn't know existed before. And years ago on Oprah, I remember an experiment in which several men dressed as women for a day, and when they reported on their experiences, the man who was heaviest said, close to tears, that what surprised him was how ignored he was because he was the heaviest of them all. I'm paraphrasing all of this, but you probably get the idea. I guess one could say that obsession with body image is also an obsession of some other kind--to positive feedback, ego, etc. I don't know. Is that possible?
- January 10, 2011
- Wendy said...
My three year old saw a pic on my fb and said, "I want to see her again. I want to see her fat belly." I was shocked and told him that we do not call people fat. He responded, "But Mama, I LOVE fat bellies. They are just great!"
If only, everyone thought it was great. We just need to love who we are no matter our size. You are BEAUTIFUL, by the way. - January 10, 2011
I'm not fat nor have I ever been but it has always been a serious serious fear...all I can say is wow..powerful! you may have just seriously cured me. I LOVE YOU! No seriously. I do.
- January 10, 2011
When we decide to love ourselves and realize we have self worth, we begin to treat ourselves as valuable people. It is after that it is more possible for someone who has struggled with eating to take care of themselves. I really believe that this is the correct order. Love yourself, then the results will follow.
- January 10, 2011
This post is not about accepting unhealthy habits or obesity. This post is about accepting yourself. It could have been about freckles, a big nose, or having an eleventh finger. The point is, who cares!? Until you learn to accept yourself, as you are, good right along with the bad you will never be healthy enough you love yourself. We all have flaws, faults, and imperfections. Sometimes we try to run and hide from them. Cjanes is saying don't run from them, recognize them, some things about ourselves we simply have to learn to accept, some things we can change. But you will never love yourself until you learn to recognize yourself as you are, good and bad, and love yourself not REGARDLESS of your imperfections,including your imperfections because they are part of you and you are pretty great.
I always hated my freckles growing up. Then when I had children of my own and their little freckles started popping out I saw how beautiful they truly are! and if they are beautiful of my little munchkins, they are beautiful of me too.
Some things you can change, some things you can't but you have to get to a place where you can see yourself as yourself, accept yourself, and feel good about being you before you can move forward.
I think you are great Courtney. And really you are very beautiful inside and out. Thank you for this post. - January 11, 2011
- Jan S said...
C. Jane!!! Don't listen/please delete (at least mentally) that post from "Anon" (or course!) that said "Heavenly Father thinks 'fat' is not okay." WHA....????
But first...THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOOOOOUUUUUUU (!!) for this post!! I have been 40 lbs overweight for the last 3 years and I've been so miserable...due to my OWN hatred about it! When I read the three little paragraphs (which begin with, "Are your eyes any less blue?") I cried! I have already printed it out and put that on my desk to read each day.
Do I still want to get in shape and lose weight? Absolutely! But I don't have to hate myself until then and I certainly do not have to hate myself if I don't lose the weight!
Bottom line, CJane: Your body gave birth to two of the sweetest souls. You have a husband who adores you and appreciates you and the fact that your body gave birth to his two babies. Isn't that what really matters? And lastly, I have to say...I've NEVER thought of you as "fat!" Never. So please don't think that others view you as that way. We don't. And like you, many of us are dealing with the same struggle. So thank you for putting out there what I know was probably difficult to write!
P.S. I would also like to add to "Anonymous" that when my sister did the Leukemia Society Marathon, there were SEVERAL women who were 30, 40, 50 or more lbs overweight...and they were healthier than any other woman I knew who was thin and not in shape. So I have to say...there are numerous people who are not what our society deems "thin" or "thin enough" and are still VERY healthy!! - January 11, 2011
- Nick said...
Self flagellation is never good and rarely effective, it usually drives us to more of the behavior we are hatingourselves over. But over eating fels bad and triggers this kind of response. You can try and change your response or you can work on the action that causes it. My husband who struggles with overeating practices mindful slow eating after working with a nutritionist and it has made a huge difference. At a restaurant he rarely orders all the things he wants at once but rather orders an appetizer or salad or small dish and then see how he feels from there. SOmetimes he orders more but sometimes he decides he has had enough. (Sorry if I am assuming that you over ate but it sounds like you think you did). Working on the negative body image messages is definitely a positive start for people but I don't think the discomfort with their bodies will go away unti changes happen in the way they treat them--exercise, healthy amounts of food, etc...
- January 11, 2011
Oh my gosh - these mean comments are making me so nutty. You are beautiful and treasured, Courtney. Thank you for being brave enough to write about tough topics.
- January 11, 2011
- Life as the mother of 4 said...
This will probably be the only time I ever comment on your blog (it was that good) -- nice post!
- January 11, 2011
This post also made me comment for the first time, I LOVE it, I get it. THANK YOU!
Maria - January 11, 2011
- Sizzle said...
I am in this same place- of being done with the weight loss struggle but more so wanting to heal my lifelong disconnect with my body/soul.
Best to you in this endeavor! It's noble and necessary for all of us to find the love for self over the negative self-hate talk. - January 11, 2011
- Pam Baumeister said...
I say, enjoy all the fluctuations of your body, for you are a woman...and we ALL go through this same thing. You are lovely.
- January 11, 2011
- Genene said...
My daughter referred me to your post knowing I could relate to the challenges of loving myself.... loving myself as I am.... loving myself enough to find the perfection in the state I'm in.... and even loving myself enough to continue to strive for the healthy balance. The trick for me has been to find the love. Interestingly enough, the weight is manifest as a result of emotional issues (usually buried so deeply that I can't put a finger on them) The love issue is the same.
One great thing I've learned in this lifetime (thus far) as the mother of five and grandmother to nine is that this whole experience in our Earth Suit is an adventure.... an adventure in learning and my testimony of it is that the learning can always be distilled down to LOVE & COMPASSION. Can we learn to love OURSELVES and others? Jesus' gospel is a gospel of LOVE. and He said, "Love one another as I have loved you". We're taught that He loves us and we don't even have to be perfect (there's that word). So, do we believe Him, believe His words? Do we have faith in those words? Or do we let our little ego's (natural man, duality, super ego, etc) be the voice we listen to and believe?
I also believe that it works as a circle, a loop, a cycle. We have to be able to quit judging OURSELVES and others before the FULL cycle of LOVE is felt. When we're taught to love our neighbor as ourselves who do you think we have to love first..... yup, ourselves, myself. We're taught "Judge not" and so what do we do.... we judge ourselves.... we are our own worst critic! The natural man is the enemy to God and that NM is the voice, the part of us that judges.... The judgment I allow in my soul is the thing that damns me (hurts me) and the thing that dams me (blocks me) from the LOVE I want to know, to feel, to receive and to give.
Learning to Love myself has been a mission I've been on for several years now. In answer to a prayer I prayed for about 6 weeks the Lord told me to learn to love myself. WOW! What does THAT mean? I had no clue at the time. I think that finding things to love, like blue eyes, etc. is a beautiful place to start (or continue as the case may be). As we learn to LOVE ourselves and the judgments fall away I now KNOW that it we make room in our growth process for the next phase in our eternal progression. For some of us it might be the place of relating easily to what it takes to have that healthiest body for ourselves (Whatever that may look like!) It's ALL a journey as we move toward that place we all want to be in the end..... I'm headed for godhood albeit at my own pace! ;-)
I love your post CJane! Thank you for letting me ramble in response to you & all your readers' comments. This is a helpful process for me! ♥ - January 11, 2011
I get what Cjane is saying - I think all women struggle with body image issues. But there is a big difference between accepting that you will never look like a model - and accepting being overweight. There are legitimate and serious health risks. So... no, you shouldn't accept it. You are worth more than that. Your body is a temple and it deserves to be treated that way. And we should set a good example for our kids. There are ways to tell if you are just obsessing over 5 lbs, or if you need to lose weight - your doctor will tell you! There are charts and body fat percentages that will help you determine that. And if you are overweight (I have been!) - then you don't need to hate yourself for it, but doing something about it will give you power and confidence.
You can't do anything about a big nose or freckles. But you can lose weight. And big noses and freckles are not harmful to your health!
And no - doctors have long since dismissed the notion that overweight people can be as healthy as people in an appropriate weight range. - January 11, 2011
- Allison said...
I totally get what you are saying. I tell myself that My body at the moment is "under construction." There are pregnancy road blocks and orange morning sicknes signs and large Bed rest tractors in the way of continuing down Controlling My Weight Ave. As annoying as it is, I know that after all that construction is done, I will have a cute baby to hold and I can get back to getting in shape. The point is to love yourself no matter what size you are. You can have goals and work towards them and can celebrate it when you reach them. You can even celebrate yourself working towards those goals. It's not okay to hurt yourself emotionally simply because you have an area that you need to work on.
I think this goes beyond being fat too. I hate myself sometimes because I am not finished with College yet. Everyone else is finished and here I am slowly, class by class trying to get my degree while being a wife and mom. I am not a college Graduate. So what? I know that I will be some day, as long I am working towards my goals. I don't have to hate myself simply because I'm not there yet, but I also don't have to give up trying to get there simply because I accept where I am in life. - January 11, 2011
- Katie said...
You just gave me the courage to finish my hot peach cobbler with chocolate ice cream and LOVE it. Thanks C. Jane!
- January 11, 2011
- kelly said...
i just want to know where you ate?!!
you are awesome, we all just need to be healthy, mentally, spiritually and physically. - January 11, 2011
First of all - you don't appear to be overweight. And I really appreciate what this post is trying to say. BUT....
I don't think it's a good idea to encourage the notion "So what if I'm fat?"
The SO WHAT is
High blood pressure
Sleep apnea
Breast cancer
to name a few. - January 12, 2011
So I am a great big girl.
CJane, you are GORGEOUS.
I love the pictures, I love the inspiration. by seeing that you can learn to love yourself, it makes me think that there is hope for me!! You are very inspirational. - January 12, 2011
- Tana said...
I am me. I am overweight. I am lovable, funny, sometimes intelligent, caring, spiritual and so, so many other things. Thank you for this post. I so get you and your beautiful gummy smile! (I never actually noticed any gumminess. Whatever, annonymous!)
- January 12, 2011
who wants to bet that most of the negative comments on here are coming from people who are thin ;) By society's standards, a little extra junk in the trunk means FAT. That does not equate unhealthy. Unfortunately, if you are not a rail, people think you are fat an unhealthy. I know a lot of health/excersize nuts who spend way more time working on their bodies or planning their diets than they do on many more important things (like spending time with their children). It would be nice if everyone thought the way you did C. Jane!
- January 12, 2011
Yes, being fat is visible, but so are being rude and being judgmental. Believe me, they show up on your face and on your heart and soul. Sadly, they show up in your children. So please don't use that as an excuse to say that being fat is better than being rude.
I just looked at the picture of you that you posted today. [Wednesday] You look fabulous! You feel fabulous [I'm guessing] I lied to myself, too, for about four years and said I can't do anything about my weight, I'm too tired, I'm too busy, It's too hard. I have to eat at so many meetings and functions and can't turn them down after they worked so hard to prepare it . . . I can be happy anyway, I am still a child of God, blah, blah, blah. The truth is I think about my weight and food every single day. And I am not happy when I am fat. I'm not happy when I eat more than I really want. I'm not happy when I stuff my feelings in the form of food. I'm not happy when I use food as a drug.
Please, just eat less and move a little more. Get a few 5, 8 and 10-pound weights and a stability ball. Do 100 crunches while you talk on the phone or read your email. And stop beating yourself up. But stop making excuses, too.
I know this sounds harsh, but if you had cancer would you want all these people making excuses for you? Yes you are a lovely person. Yes you are amazing and talented. We all LOVE you. We look forward to 'spending' time with you every single day! But my heck! Lose the fat! No more excuses. No more fat talk and believe me, you will thank me later when you are down 10. or 20.
Best wishes to you in 2011. Now, seriously, go do some pushups and then a set of crunches. - January 12, 2011
- whitneyingram said...
You may have moments where you think you are fat, but you also have moments of literary genius. Example:
"...the popcorn kernels littering the floor in the den like post-party confetti waiting for a sober vacuuming."
Genius. - January 12, 2011
What do you want to bet that all the people who are making excuses are fat?
- January 12, 2011
- elka said...
thank you. i wish somehow i could explain to my pre pregnancy cloths that they need to expand, so i wouldn't feel so fat, or that i could explain to my pocketbook it needs to expand so i can buy new clothes, so i don't feel so fat. :(
i battle my fat ever day. - January 12, 2011
- Jenny said...
skinny genes are over rated.
the end. - January 12, 2011
- Kris said...
I am divine and worthy to be so no matter what my weight. Possibly it signifies that I have made some bad decisions in my lifetime. We all have. Yours just may not show so much as mine. I am okay.
Thanks Courtney. - January 13, 2011
- Ms. Fish said...
C. Jane,
I admire your honesty and your willingness to be vulnerable and transparent in this post. Not easy!!
As you know, this issue is SO complex and huge: with social, cultural, psychological, economical, political, and health roots and implications. And while I totally applaud your personal [body image] truce for a healthy psyche (plus the inspiration you give to hundreds of others), the acceptance of obesity on a population level has to be disrupted (for the health and economical stability of our nation)
Personal responsibility aside, we are all victims. The obesity epidemic (currently over 80% of our population is overweight or obese) is the result of a really sick joke by a political and food industry gone mad.
For added perspective, you might find these highly enlightening:
1. The documentary King Corn.
2. This GREAT presentation by nationally recognized healthy food advocate Marion Nestle: http://fora.tv/2008/08/14/Marion_Nestle_What_to_Eat
Your writing is awesome. Of course personal acceptance and self-love are so significant. And mindful eating is a reasonable arrow in a weight-loss quiver.
My point is that in the bigger picture, an equally important issue is PREVENTION for our children!! We can't sit back and accept the environmental conditions which are predisposing future generations for obesity. It is time for us to fight back!!
Thanks for all you've done to raise awareness of this timely and crucial topic.
Jenni Hackworth Fisher, DNP - January 13, 2011
- Lena said...
I have struggled with my weight for nearly 4 decades and the brutal cycles of self-loathing after gluttonous binge after gluttonous binge. I used to think that if I just got over my vain fears about being seen as fat, everything thing would be okay. I have spent a life time praying to be released from this soul crushing burden. But I have finally come to this realization after setting aside my vanity and fears of fat: I am never going to feel good about myself, thin or fat when I'm not consistently exercising MODERATION and self mastery in how I care for the body God gave me. God gave me a conscious, and fortunately it works. Regardless of the number on the scale and the size of my jeans, that conscious doesn't feel good when I eat excessively because that goes against all natural laws. Take away the "Fat Talk" and "Body Image" issues and I don't think any woman is going to feel at peace with herself until she is taking care of her body the way God would want her to.
I no longer diet, and I no longer weigh myself. I do one simple thing: I say a SINCERE prayer before I eat a meal or snack. It keeps me honest with myself and God about what is really going on inside my obsessive desire to consume fatty or sugar laden temptations. I can't sincerely ask God to bless me with health and nourishment when underneath it all I intend to inhale a super-sized meal of a double-decker burger, fries and shake, that whole tray of brownies, the pint of ice cream, or the warm disk of brie. That goes against the very laws of nature. He is the Creator. He made my body and He knows I know how to eat properly, I just lack the self mastery to make the right choices. And as a regular reminder of His expectations and LOVE, He lets my conscious feel guilty and my body feel the consequences of a food hangover. But best of all, He also lets me feel the joy of health, strength and peace when I'm genuinely trying to take care of my body.
I wish you the very best in this year of new beginnings and healing. - January 13, 2011
- JoAnn said...
I was able to change my self talk for my daughter...I did benefit from it, of course, but the thought of a daughter developing that same self degrading vocabulary and obession with body image was my catalyst. Good luck!
- January 13, 2011
Lena, you have said so, so much in you comment. So much of how I feel. I've struggled as well, for 40 years. I've gone from bulimic and throwing up 3-4 times a day to anorexic, eating only 300 calories a day. I've weighted 109 and I've weighed 180. I have clothes size 5 to size 16. It is a life-long miserable battle with myself and with food. The first thing I think of every single morning is food/fat and the last thought before I fall asleep is about food/fat.
Thank you for the simple encouragement to pray that way.
I do often pray to God for help with this struggle and I've felt like both a fool and a hypocrite asking for His help with my personal failures with food. I've attended the 12-step program and worked through all 12 steps, twice.
I so identify with the women in Matthew with an issue of blood for 12 years. Because I've been 'sick' for 40 years and pray I could just touch his hem and be healed. I do know that with hard work every single day, exercise and mindful choosing I am much happier than when I just eat without feeling. Eat without stuffing. Eat without conscience.
I lashed out earlier in the week at Courtney for accepting fat. I didn't want to hear those words.
Thanks for your soft words. - January 14, 2011
- Kira =] said...
Amen C. Jane!!!
- January 14, 2011
- Cécy said...
Since I know you read French, you may enjoy to read those posts: http://www.penseesderonde.fr/zermati-et-moi/
She is a rounder girl as she calls herself, struggled with weight all her life, but she's working with this nutritionist/counselor and he's giving her some good advice on listening to her body and likeing herself more. - January 14, 2011
- Megan said...
The thing is, I don't think Courtney is fat. I think people come in different shapes and sizes and sometimes to try and go against that is just frustrating when your body is simply made to be a bit rounder. Women's bodies are made to fluctuate, for pete's sake the woman just had a baby! There are plenty of healthy women who exercise, eat right and are just that shape. There are plenty of women who don't exercise, don't eat right and are made smaller so people assume they are healthier.
This post wasn't about health, it was about feeling comfortable with who you are. I am 5'6" and weigh 120 pounds, I am not fat but my body isn't perfect either. I often feel insecure, I feel like I am fat. I tell myself I am fat. Or I see a picture of myself and think AAGH I look like that?! I'm fat! The point is, I have a little pudge that hangs over my pants if I don't sit just right. It is exhausting worrying about it, so I'm with Courtney, who cares?!
I am a lot more attractive happy with myself than I am when I am putting myself down.
My kids would rather have a mom who is smiling than a mom who has a perfect body.
And my husband would much rather see a me naked than hiding behind my clothes because I'm afraid I'm fat.... it had to be said ;) - January 14, 2011
I just listened to Stephanie's interview on Conversations. I am sure that her injury also gives you a new perspective on body image.
- January 15, 2011
- Neely said...
Courtney, you are beautiful. Womens bodies are so ever changing, and often suddenly- leaving us going... who's that in the mirror?
You have found the secret, as have I. To love yourself through it all. If you can do that, you CAN do anything. And you will in your own time.
Being a woman you have to be your own best friend. At times your body will limit you and at times it will liberate you. Just don't stop loving yourself along the way <3
p.s. Some of these comments are ridiculous and RUDE - people just using this forum as a way to get their frustrations out, from their own inner battles. Ignore. - January 15, 2011
- Meg said...
I love this.
That is all. - January 15, 2011
- Amy said...
I have to say, your comment "So what if I'm fat" has really changed my perspective. Our society places such a huge emphasis on weight, and it really is wrong. It is an obsession. It goes against not judging a book by its cover. And I have been thinking a lot about myself. I was always thin (though I never thought I was). I had two babies (about the same time you had your delicious morsels) and am decidedly bigger than I was. And so what! I am still me. I still have the same qualities, I just wear a larger size in clothing! Thank you for helping me be okay with that. Seriously, I start my day with a piece of toast and a big steaming cup of C.Jane. Breakfast of the Champions.
P.S. People are too critical of people who are not their same size. I think you are beautiful and amazing and should never change, so all the trolls need to just go back to their little holes and stay there for preaching falsehoods. So there! - January 16, 2011
- Tiffany C. said...
Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!
- January 16, 2011
I'm a little late getting to this post. First, I loved it..thank you. I recently lost the 10 pounds I've been obsessing about for the past 10 years. Now that I'm here, I'm still obsessing. If only I could lose 3 more pounds, no maybe 5 more, could I lose another 10? It sad. I am a size 6. Of course being morbidly obese is not healthy, but you are FAR from that. You are curvy and beautiful. Beauty is loving ourselves. Here is one of my favorite quotes by Audrey Hepburn...
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowlege that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.
You helped me today. Good luck on your journey. You're beaufiful as you are. Truly. - January 17, 2011
- Meaghan said...
That is a wonderful sentiment, this whole post. I wish the world would see past the fat the way I can. I wish people would be less concerned with looks. I wish people could find my fat body as beautiful as I see it. But I suppose that's why we have Weight Watchers..
- January 17, 2011
- Laura said...
I am just now reading this. It is amazing. You put into words what I have struggled to say, what makes me miserable - and also, a way out.
Thank you. - January 19, 2011
- the Lola Letters said...
WOW! This was beautiful. {understatement} and so perfectly said... just wow.
{And your video most recently posted? Stop it right now. You and Chup are the perfect pair. It's sort of ridiculous.} - January 23, 2011
- Grease Monkey GIRL said...
I am overweight, (juicy)... And my boyfriend is at an ideal weight for his height... He works out every day. I don't. He has high blood pressure, serious cholesterol issues, and blood sugar problems....i am healthier 50 lbs overweight than he is in his prime. If you ask me (and I am not a doctor) it's 75% attitude. I am happy in my skin, he strives to be something his body doesn't like. And one more thing...he has sleep apnea...my fat a sleeps just fine. Juicy girl1 pushup guy 0. I win. Just saying....and p.s. My word verification was bikedat. So bikedat sucka, thuglife...now back to my brownie sundae.
- January 26, 2011
- Dacia said...
Great post! I love when you said "I want to heal, to cure myself from the disease of a body image illness." So true for all of us & I love it!
- January 30, 2011
- kera said...
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. oh my gosh....err gracious {i should practice what i preach right? that gosh is a "bad word"!}!!! i just love what you said "i want to heal, to cure, myself from the disease of body image illness". that just resonated through me.....and through me. i think that can apply to anyone.....even me sitting here reading your posts and watching your video's and thinking.....MAN that girl is funny and whitty and PERFECTLY beautiful....then in turn i'm sitting here negatively judging myself. i need to heal myself.....to know that i am who God created me to be PERFECT in HIS image. STOP THE MADDENING COMPARING!! Thank you for your beautiful writings. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! WOW!
- February 06, 2011
- Christine said...
Thank you so much for this, you verbalized exactly what i'm going through and you also injected some much needed perspective into the cycle of negative thinking I've been stuck in. I read this post aloud to my sister, sobbing as I read, and I can't wait to share it with others as well.
- February 07, 2011


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Strophoid wrote:I got HSO as well, not the best but for €50,- a definitive improvement over the HSSE orchestra samples and good enough for my basic needs in this area.
The store worked fine for me too btw, strange you experienced problems with it!
mozizo wrote:cool jazzlicks, u know whats best for u. i decided to go with WL elements 8 instead of the grand se.(limited budget)
enjoy it !
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subset: commoncrawl


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Meetings and Conventions in Yogyakarta
Home » Meetings and Conventions in Yogyakarta » Find Hotel » Blue Safir Boutique Hotel
Blue Safir Boutique Hotel
Blue Safir Hotel is a very special place to stay during your visit in Yogyakarta. It is strategically located at the heart of Yogyakarta which is only 5 minutes on foot to Maliboro Street, the most famous shopping centre in Yogyakarta. It has also a quick access to the airport wich is only 20 minutes by taxi and the train station for only 5 minutes.
Blue Safir Hotel has Suite Room, Deluxe Super and Superior Room and they are all facilitated with private bathroom, shower, hot and cold water. Satellite TV allows you to watch your favourite program from the all over in the world. Our professional's staffs are ready to serve all the guests for an unforgettable stay in Yogyakarta.
Address | : | Dagen Street No. 18-22, Yogyakarta, Indonesia |
Phone | : | 0274-562589 |
Fax | : | 0274-515706 |
: | email@example.com | |
Website | : | http://www.bluesafir-hotel.com/ |


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Nebraska Cornhuskers Gear
Nebraska Cornhuskers Auto Accessories
Nebraska Cornhuskers Auto Accessories Decals
(57 items)
Product ID: 721245
Main Content
Attach your team spirit to any surface with this 5" x 7" sticker sheet. This sheet contains 12 round and 5 rectangular team logo stickers so you can display your pride on your laptop, locker, school supplies or anything else you want to mark as Huskers' property!
- Made in the USA
- Made of paper
- Officially licensed collegiate product
- Sheet has 12 round and 5 rectangular stickers
- Sheet measures approximately 5" x 7"
Cornhuskers Customers also liked:
Special event items are produced by manufacturers only after the outcome of a game
or event. These are advanced sale items and will ship immediately after they are
received in our warehouse.
Manufacturer direct items are shipped directly from the manufacturer. These items
are not available for international or expedited shipping.
Customized items can be personalized with options such as your name, your favorite
number, and/or designs. Some options may be limited by league rules.


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Since 1999, Northwest Classic Auto Mall has offered cars from 1989 and older vehicles, both locally and worldwide. Whether you're looking for an older classic, hot rod, rat rod or a vehicle in the 80's, we invite you to browse our listings of vehicles.
1954 Ford Customline Northwest Classic Auto Mall advertises this vehicle for the owner. If you are interested in this vehicle or have any questions, please contact... More


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No graded pricing is available for this item.
There is no box for this item.
Item |
Set: 2013-14 Panini Intrigue Immortalized Autographs |
Player: Thomas, Isiah |
Team: Detroit Pistons |
Sport: Basketball |
Brand: Panini Intrigue |
Manufacturer: Panini Group |
This item is not currently in stock on the Beckett Marketplace. Please check back again soon!


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This video is part of the following collections:
- Like
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- Collection
SUZE March 16, 2012
he has a nice cock i wanna in deep in me
andy February 6, 2012
the sex scenes jumped around too much, like a highlight film. And Anna, I love cougars, especially those who like to take their time and enjoy everything
disappointed February 5, 2012
This was such a boring fuck. His big cock was the best part of it, but he didn't even know how to use it. She chewed gum the whole time!
rod!! January 24, 2012
such a pleasure, her hand movements i'd love them areound my member anytime, i can almost feel her watching - a sheer pleasure
AznChiq March 18, 2012
ChicBoy April 5, 2012
i fuck her all day,
Claire May 24, 2012
he could fuck me anytime!
xberg May 14, 2012
guy can't fuck --> go mastrubate
iLOVEgirls April 13, 2012
I saw a another video of her but can find it again :(
fmhp January 21, 2012
Mmm ... i want to get fucked by a stud like him. His cock looked so good, i would love to have him in my tight little pussy, getting fucked hard. My pussy is so wet, i'm going to fuck myself ...x
fuckme January 18, 2012
fuck so big dick want to fuck him
Rich November 9, 2011
Young stud with long cock will travel. Next time drop that scant load on her tongue.
Bi-girl November 8, 2011
Wow! What a sweet young body she has. Luv her firm little tits. He has an awesome cock.
jk-jk November 2, 2011
123 November 25, 2011
A horny willing girl on the couch is worth two bimbo's in the bed
Wilma December 8, 2011
He has a strong body and a wonderful cock. She gives him a wonderful time. I wish I was her. He is so nice
Claire Richards December 26, 2011
Now that is a sexy hard young cock, just perfect for a night of pleasure
Anna December 25, 2011
Thats why I am proud to be a cougar - hot fit teen guys with hung cocks.
Bud Fox December 22, 2011
She is so in to it that she chews gum while riding him....classic. Maybe if the guy ate her, she would feel it more....she is a cutie...would love to eat that pie
itfeelsgood September 30, 2012
looks yummy
ilove sexy girls October 10, 2012
ive seen this girl
abhinash February 10, 2014
nice style and so hot
MR.IQ December 22, 2013
That horny chick. May 24, 2013
So hot
vhggg April 29, 2013
Stupez!! March 2, 2014
How he fukn she like he fraid so.?? Boi hit she sum demon wood eh!!!
AnalDude March 21, 2014
I purchased a new dildo and going crazy in my ass. Wow what a feeling. It is very large and I'm still able to swallow it up...
Papi March 16, 2015
She never opens her eyes, why? Maybe she does want to see his privates and yet if she doesn't see anything then its not happening.
fuck. me June 9, 2014
BigP April 12, 2014
Id be eating that pussy instead of sucking them titties so damn much
Wedy April 21, 2013
Post as... March 21, 2013
es muy profesional
Ben December 31, 2012
Where is the cum? I'm not as thin as him but I cum much more than him, even though with this cuite, it would be a fountain of cum!
Wellhung December 15, 2012
the term' Balls Deep' springs to mind when I watch this sweety being fucked
DKK October 14, 2012
cc January 4, 2013
who is she ?
luciano January 14, 2013
che senso ha sborrare sulculo?
nono February 19, 2013
nice cock but lacks the skills to satisfy this randy girl
ebs February 19, 2013
wie schafft die das: kaugummi und penis in der fresse und dann gevögelt?
HanditOver January 28, 2013
Dude might have the size, but definitely not the skills to match. Hand her over, i dont think her hornyness was satisfied..
Claire October 7, 2011
She seduces him well. I would do the same for that lovely cock
ify September 8, 2011
Yea no wild action just a nic fuck
Wow xO February 27, 2011
I love the boys face ;O
d.h. February 24, 2011
would love to ride his big dick til he blew inside me
Jenny February 22, 2011
He's pretty cute too, reminds me of my first, although at least he ate me out.
blablub February 21, 2011
it's not possible to see her pussy one time :(
nonya February 28, 2011
hes the best part of the clip
Tony March 3, 2011
I love her, here name is lukava if you want to search for here! shame i can't see her enjoing longer on this vid
d April 20, 2011
dr April 8, 2011
wild? lol
chef March 25, 2011
nice but not wild
yum February 20, 2011
he has a nice cock i wanna suck on it
adrie February 20, 2011
my god they're quick
No February 20, 2011
She did not go wild
Hot but... February 20, 2011
...she might as well be chewing gum while he's fucking.
asian February 20, 2011
shes hot
Hammerstein February 20, 2011
Hot piece of Ass
zzx February 20, 2011
big cock i wanna fuck him love
West_coast February 20, 2011
She didn't go wild on the cook, but she's a hottie. Reminds me of my younger years hanging out with my g/f & then fucking her.
DICK HEAD February 20, 2011
Wobble February 20, 2011
She has a beautful face. Love his big cock especially when she is licking it.
blow a load April 20, 2011
Great small Titties shame he had to jerk one out with her body like that deserved to be shown a little respect and spuffed up the front channel
Fuck! April 23, 2011
j'aime je bande comme un chien ! humm.... sa fait du bien sex */*
Me July 23, 2011
Absolutely nothing wild about this.... Cute boy though
Extraordinary Onanist July 14, 2011
Nice hard penis! nice skinny but disinterested girl, horrible sofa and boring sex
:) July 14, 2011
They're cute together
faye July 9, 2011
i love the boys penis!!!awsome
sam August 10, 2011
the boy is scrumcious
Pencil Pecker August 15, 2011
The name says it all
David S. September 2, 2011
Nice-looking couple, but geez, they might as well be watching paint dry for all the excitment they generate....
mrx August 30, 2011
spit out that gum before the shoot girl!
Jason August 29, 2011
Da kriegt manN voll die Latte, wenn man sieht wie geil die knutschen
jubb July 7, 2011
wild? never!
lora July 5, 2011
he is hot luv his cock
Ami May 22, 2011
What's up with her eyes? She never, ever opens them during the entire video!
Ann May 7, 2011
An amazing penis on that boy!
Bobbie May 4, 2011
Sexy chick, pity she didn't suck that gorgeous cock off
junme May 24, 2011
his hot like me..
Wyatt321 May 28, 2011
Id love to see this guy lay my wife.
Wannafuck June 20, 2011
I like how they add sensuality and passion to have a great fuck. These teens are good.
dr June 3, 2011
Genna May 28, 2011
She looks like Lily Cole.
Dez February 20, 2011
He's as hot as she is
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Oh, wow, that would be so cool. Most of Patrick Troughton's run as the Doctor is missinbg. it would be a dream come true is they were found...
Oh, wow, that would be so cool. Most of Patrick Troughton's run as the Doctor is missinbg. it would be a dream come true is they were found...
The BBC is denying that any episodes have been found:
"There are always rumours and speculation about Doctor Who missing episodes being discovered. However, we cannot confirm any new finds."
And a complany named by some in these stories had this to say:
T.I.E.A. does not hold any missing episodes of the long-running Dr Who series. The original videotapes were wiped [and] subsequent film copies were either returned to the BBC [or] sent to landfill. Odd fragments have surfaced - two episodes on 16mm film - but that's it. The programmes in question, like many others, were destroyed as they had no further commercial value. They are not missing but destroyed. The end.
I am sorry if this upsets some people but these are the facts.
I have also become aware of the tracking of some of our clients' shipments. These are local cultural materials sent to us for migration to a modern format as the playback equipment in the country of origin no longer exists and as such is the best road to preserve international cultural heritage.
I will be making no more statements on this subject.
Philip Morris, Executive Director, T.I.E.A.
Frankly, I'm hoping the denials by thte BBC are a fake out, because this would be awesome..
Phillip Morris had them?! Curses! Trying to kill the world with lung cancer and now this?! Bastards.....
Ian Levine's tweet is a fairly big deal.
The interesting thing is that this shipment came in 2011. From Africa. So why all the silence? If this is true, then I believe BBC is being silent for the following reasons.
1. BBC has promised not to take episodes from collectors. They will borrow them and scan them, and then return them.
2. BBC likely has an agreement with the collector that there is to be no press until they are returned to the collector.
3. The rumored shipping manifest is for 3 tons of film. That is going to take a while to scan.
Of course, this is assuming the rumors are true.
Also how does the money get dispersed? Who owns the right to them? Plus when and how do you release them? As thir own season? All at once on Blu-ray? Inbetween the Christmas episodes and the launch inthe next season?
Everybody thought Fritz Lang's original version of 'Metropolis was lost forever,but it was finally found in Argentina.If something like that can happen,I believe anything is possible.
@Robert If they do exist they would need a fair bit of work to bring them up to broadcast quality. A series of DVD releases of the completed stores would follow. I don't recall any DW Bluray of the classic stories. not counting the two Peter Cushing movies, at least for the UK.


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Event | Date & Location | |
Martina McBride | Friday, May 15, 2015 at 8:00 PM Star Plaza Theatre | View Tickets |
Martina McBride | Saturday, May 16, 2015 at 7:30 PM Crystal Grand Music Theatre | View Tickets |
Martina McBride | Friday, June 19, 2015 at 8:00 PM Mystic Lake Showroom | View Tickets |
Martina McBride | Friday, July 3, 2015 at 7:00 PM Alabama Theatre - SC | View Tickets |
Martina McBride | Saturday, July 11, 2015 at 7:30 PM Weill Hall At Green Music Center | View Tickets |
Martina McBride | Wednesday, July 15, 2015 at 8:00 PM California Exposition & State Fair | View Tickets |
Martina McBride | Friday, July 31, 2015 at 8:00 PM Deep Water Amphitheater | View Tickets |
Martina McBride | Friday, September 4, 2015 at 8:30 PM Memphis Botanical Garden | View Tickets |
Martina McBride | Saturday, September 26, 2015 at 8:00 PM Capitol Center For The Arts - NH | View Tickets |
Martina McBride Concert Tickets |
Martina McBride and Trace Adkins Shine All Night Tour Country star Martina McBride is to team up with Trace Adkins for an arena tour scheduled to hit almost 40 cities across the USA! Martina McBride tickets for the Shine All Night Tour are here for you, country music lovers, so check that Martina McBride schedule and pick your night to shine! The awesome doublesize set will feature complete performances from both singers, so if you're a fan of either one you'll be in for a huge treat. The Martina McBride tour schedule is set to begin in November, 2009 in Moline Illinois and will run through mid-April, 2010. The McBride-Adkins tour - known as the "Shine All Night" tour - partly reflects the title of McBride's recent studio album release, called "Shine". "Shine" was released in March. Produced by McBride and Dann Huff it hit the top spot on Billboard's Top Country Albums chart, and was responsible for McBride's recent hit single "Ride." Martina McBride Tickets Selling FastMartina McBride tickets sold hugely for her last big outing, in the wake of her "Waking Up Laughing," album, and this latest tour will undoubtedly follow suit. Martina McBride concert dates are always massively anticipated by country music fans, and it seems that each Martina McBride tour creates an ever-bigger tickets buzz. Trace Adkins tickets are also great sellers. The country star released the mysteriously-titled "X" album last fall and fans expect to hear the lead single "Muddy Water" from "X" played live on this latest Trace Adkins tour. The single has been steadily moving up country singles charts since its release, and the Adkins sound will be a great complement to McBride when these two country greats head out on the highway. Check out our Martina McBride tickets selection and pick a McBride/Adkins tour date today. It's gonna be a special country time when two of the best in the biz hit the arenas. If you'd like to witness an angel in person then you've come to the right place! With Martina McBride tickets you can be there live to experience the voice that made her famous. As the "Céline Dion of country music" McBride is known for her wide range of vocals and ability to sustain her sound in a soprano vocal range. A true rags-to-riches story, Martina began her career as a roadie on the Garth Brooks tour selling T-shirts. On a whim she sent RCA records a demo tape in an over-sized purple envelope and the rest, as they say, is history. McBride has won a number of CMA awards and put out over ten albums, many of which have reached gold status. This singer-songwriter-producer has warmed hearts with hits like "I Love You," "Chances Are" (featured in the Sandra Bullock movie "Hope Floats") and "Independence Day." If you've ever seen Martina McBride live then you've had first hand experience of her hair raising voice and soulful performance but if you haven't you should mark it on your "bucket list." So even if you don't have a great singing voice, come sing along with the likes of country music legend Martina McBride with Martina McBride tickets. Plus, all of our concert tickets are guaranteed, and are usually 10 to 20 percent cheaper than the competition. |
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Pat Bourgeois' Debauchery -May 6th -Wed 7:30pm -TICKETS AT THE DOOR, ONLY
- Performing & Visual Arts
- 3540 Toulouse Street (between N. Cortez & N. Jeff Davis Pkwy) New Orleans 70119 , US
Sold Out! RE-DESIGNING WOMEN at Mid City Theatre - Saturday, June 1 at 8:00pm..watch for the Golden Girls in January...Mid City TheatreSaturday, June 1, 2013 at 8:00 PM (CDT) |
It's the latest wacky take-off from Varla Jean Merman,
and SHUTUP SWEET CHARLOTTE co-stars,
Ricky Graham, Brian Peterson, and Jack Long.
See those cracked Southern Belles from Sugarbakers re-imagined as only our local "ladies" can! Hoot at the 1980s clothes, holler at Suzanne's hair, and shout along with Julia's favorite rants!
Saturday, June 1st at 8pm
Tickets are $30
Mid City Theatre is at 3540 Toulouse Street
-- between N. Cortez and Jeff Davis Pkwy...just behind the American Can Company...There is a bar, and free parking all around the building!
Your reservation is not complete unitl you receive confirmation email from Eventbrite, with the link to your actual tickets. Print your tickets and bring with you night of show, present at box office for entry.
Get lots more details and read about: Mid City Theatre
...then bookmark that page for future reference!
In order to purchase these tickets in installments, you'll need an Eventbrite account. Log in or sign up for a free account to continue.


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The Prairie Pothole Region is the core of what was once the largest expanse of grassland in the world, the Great Plains of North America. Its name comes from a geological phenomenon that left its mark beginning 10,000 years ago. When the glaciers from the last ice age receded, they left behind millions of shallow depressions that are now wetlands, known as prairie potholes. The potholes are rich in plant and aquatic life, and support globally significant populations of breeding waterfowl. Agricultural development caused considerable wetland drainage in the area. The Great Plains and Prairie Pothole Region are No. 1 on the 25 most important and threatened waterfowl habitats on the continent.
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Order must total $75 after discounts and not including customization. Excludes team orders, items with extra freight & shipping outside the contiguous US. Not valid on previous purchases. Expedited shipping additional. Expires 7/01/15 at 11:59 PM ET.
Completely compression molded pad with ABS Shoulder caps for added protection while remaining super light. Able to withstand any beating you may encounter as you speed by defenders or lay down the big hit.


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Our fresh, hand-picked, Grade A, 100% Broccoli Florets are easily added to recipes, or served alongside any main dish. Top with garlic-infused olive oil and a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese. Conveniently packaged in a re-sealable bag.
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rear wheel axle
Replacement rear axle for the wheel of your buggy.
Momenteel niet in deze regio verkrijgbaar.
No tools are required to replace this axle, which is compatible with the following model strollers:
- classic & legacy red classic*
- classic twin*
- sport v1 & v2
- explorer
- hammerhead
- s3
- dot
- navigator
Check out our wheel parts bundle and save 25%
*If you are purchasing for your legacy red classic or classic twin, we no longer hold stock of the black quick release axle. The steel axle will however, be compatible.


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To find a doctor, call 800-667-5356 or click below:
Find a Doctor
Request an Appointment
En Español (Spanish Version)
Definition | Reasons for Procedure | Possible Complications | What to Expect | Call Your Doctor
Laparoscopic ureteral reimplantation is surgery to reposition a ureter. The ureter is a tube between the kidney and the bladder. It allows urine to pass down to the bladder.
Laparoscopic procedures use small incisions and specialized tools. This helps to avoid large incisions that are needed with open surgery.
Copyright © Nucleus Medical Media, Inc.
Some ureters are not positioned correctly in the bladder. This can make it difficult for urine to flow into the bladder. Ureteral reimplantation may be done to reposition ureters that:
If you are having this procedure, the doctor will review a list of possible complications. These may include:
Talk to the doctor about these risks before the procedure.
General anesthesia may be used. It will be given through a vein in the arm or hand. You will be asleep through the procedure.
A spinal block may be used. This is an anesthesia injected into the spine. It will block pain below your waist.
A few small incisions will be made in your abdomen. Specialized tools will be inserted through the incisions. A series of incisions and stitches will be used to realign the ureter. The method used will be based on your specific condition.
After the tools are removed, the incisions in the abdomen will be closed with stitches. Bandages may be placed over the incisions.
After the operation, you will be taken to the recovery room for observation.
2 to 3 hours
Anesthesia prevents pain during surgery. There may be some pain as you recover. You may also have some cramping in your bladder. You will be given medication to help manage any discomfort.
The usual length of stay is two days. You may need to stay longer if there are complications.
When you return home, be sure to follow your doctor's instructions.
Call your doctor if any of these occur:
If you think you are having an emergency, call for emergency medical services right away.


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Steroids to Treat Arthritis Center - Huntington, WVHuntington Rheumatologist Doctors for Steroids to Treat ArthritisType of Physician: Rheumatologist What is a Rheumatologist? A subspecialty certification by the Board of Internal Medicine; practitioners treat diseases of the joints, muscles, bones, and tendons. The rheumatologist diagnoses and treats arthritis, back pain, muscle strains, common athletic injuries, etc. The rheumatologist may work closely with other specialists such as orthopaedic surgeons and physical therapists. Specialty: Rheumatology Common Name: Rheumatologist Doctors in Huntington *University Physicians Int Medcn University Physicians Int Medcn Huntington Internal Med Grp Suzanne L Gharib MD Mountain State Medicne/Rhumtlgy Rheumatology Associates Thomas W Howard II MD Gurpreet S Brar MD Crab Orchard Medical Clinic Rheumatology & Pulmonary Clinic Huntington, West VirginiaSteroids to Treat ArthritisIntroduction to SteroidsSteroids (short for corticosteroids) are synthetic drugs that closely resemble cortisol, a hormone that your body produces naturally. Steroids work by decreasing inflammation and reducing the activity of the im... Other Related Steroids to Treat Arthritis ArticlesEmergency Contact for Huntington
Nearby Huntington Hospitals *River Park Hospital Cabell Huntington Hospital Mildred Mitchell Bateman Hosp Cornerstone Hospital St Mary's Medical Center VA Medical Center-Huntington Healthsouth Rehabilitation Hosp King's Daughters Medical Center Our Lady Of Bellefonte Hospital CAMC Teays Valley Hospital Gallipolis Developmental Center Holzer Medical Center Three Rivers Medical Center *Provider Directory Terms of Use: The WebMD 'Provider Directory' is provided by WebMD for use by the general public as a quick reference of information about Providers. The Provider Directory is not intended as a tool for verifying the credentials, qualifications, or abilities of any Provider contained therein. Inclusion in the Provider Directory does not imply recommendation or endorsement nor does omission in the Provider Directory imply WebMD disapproval. |


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Ask the Experts
hi, i had an anal sex around 4.5 months back, with my hiv+ partner whom i love. He fucked me using condom but it broke and we both were unaware of it and as a result he ejaculated inside me, after that we didnt had anal sex till date. i got my blood...Response from Robert J. Frascino, M.D.
The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation
...Hi,Unprotected (or broken-condom) receptive anal sex with a partner confirmed to be HIV positive is considered a significant risk for acquiring HIV. Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) Read more »Risks of unprotected anal sex (HIV TRANSMISSION BETWEEN TWO HIV NEGATIVES, 2009)
With a negative testing couple, are there any risks of unprotected anal sex? For example, the semen... Read more »is it possable to develop HIV in anal sex? HIV TRANSMISSION BETWEEN TWO HIV NEGATIVES, 2009)
hello, me and my girlfriend recently had unprotected anal sex, she has done it before so we did it... Read more »
AIDS Drugs Haven't Changed HIV Risk With Anal Sex
...in the blood to undetectable levels, it does not reduce the risk of contracting the virus during a single act of unprotected anal sex, according to a new study of men who have sex with men. Dr. Fengyi Jin, of the National Center in HIV... Read more »Men Using Condoms During Anal Sex -- Women Aren't: Health Department
... Just 23 percent of New York City women who had anal sex with men in the past year reported always using condoms, a recent city Department of Health and Mental Hygiene report found. Read more »Health Department Highlights Health Risks of Unprotected Anal Sex Among Heterosexual Women in New York City
... Unprotected anal sex poses well known health hazards for men, but new research suggests that the practice is a significant health issue for women Read more »Heterosexual Anal Sex Activity in the Year After an STD Clinic Visit
... The research team undertook the current study to describe anal sex activity during a year and to identify factors associated with heterosexual anal sex and condom use. They performed secondary Read more »
Connect With Others
anal sex=HIV?
Posted by Anonymous, 1 Reply
...I just read something suggesting that maybe AIDS is the result of drugs and anal sex. Think about this: you are having a foreign substance shot into your bloodstream--after so much fighting off "invaders" or semen Read more »Anal sex...
Posted by vbguy1818, 1 Reply
...What is the likelihood of contracting HIV if you had anal sex unprotected for only a few minutes and there was no ejaculation inside of the anus? Read more »husband wanted anal sex
Posted by Sungirl, 1 Reply
...When I was married to my husband, (I am divorced now) all he wanted was anal sex. He would not listen to my desires when I expressed them and I didn't like having anal sex. He was my first sexual partner and Read more »anal sex -- condom broke
Posted by Anonymous, 2 Replies
...I'm a little freaked out. I'm a straight guy that met a nice gay guy. After some discussion, I decided to venture out and try anal sex with him, with me penetrating him. After some drinks we turned down the lights and started. After some thrusts,... Read more »
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New York Mets Gear
New York Mets Ladies
New York Mets Ladies Accessories
less than $10
(62 items)
Product ID: 1165418
Main Content
Does your child love pretending to be a princess? Let her imagination become reality with this Mets Princess tiara. It features a team wordmark, ruffled satin trim and a decorative pattern of baseballs and diamonds to complete her fairytale look. Hair combs are also attached to the back, so she can cheer on the Mets without worrying about her cute crown falling off. With this New York tiara, she will be the prettiest princess at the game!
- 100% Polyester
- Attached hair combs on back for secure fit
- Contrast-stitching
- Imported
- Officially licensed MLB product
- Recommended for ages 3 and up
- Satin detailing
- Screen print graphics
- Soft construction
Special event items are produced by manufacturers only after the outcome of a game
or event. These are advanced sale items and will ship immediately after they are
received in our warehouse.
Manufacturer direct items are shipped directly from the manufacturer. These items
are not available for international or expedited shipping.
Customized items can be personalized with options such as your name, your favorite
number, and/or designs. Some options may be limited by league rules.