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Thursday, April 03, 2014 at 10:47 AM
The lost art of the unsent angry letter
"Whenever Abraham Lincoln felt the urge to tell someone off," Konnikova writes, "he would compose what he called a 'hot letter'. He'd pile all of his anger into a note, 'put it aside until his emotions cooled down'...and then write: 'never sent. Never signed.' "
It's interesting to think about how social media has changed the ways we express heat-of-the-moment frustration. Here are two excerpts from the article...
Before the Internet: "The unsent angry letter has a venerable tradition. Its purpose is twofold. It serves as a type of emotional catharsis, a way to let it all out without the repercussions of true engagement. And it acts as a strategic catharsis, an exercise in saying what you really think, which Mark Twain (himself a notable non-sender of correspondence) believed provided 'unallowable frankness & freedom.' "
Nowadays: "We toss our reflexive anger out there, but we do it publicly, without the private buffer that once would have let us separate what needed to be said from what needed only to be felt....We may also find ourselves feeling less satisfied. Because the angry email (or tweet or text or whatnot) takes so much less effort to compose than a pen-and-paper letter, it may in the end offer us a less cathartic experience, in just the same way that pressing the end call button on your cellphone will never be quite the same as slamming down an old-fashioned receiver."
Have you ever written an angry letter, knowing you'll never send it? Would you now? I once read a challenge (I can't remember where) to write a love letter to a current, past or future love without sending it, which also sounds like a pretty compelling exercise. Anyway, let me know what you think!
P.S. I liked this mother's advice, too. Plus, funny thank-you letters and how to fight fair.
(Thank you so much, Joy Belamarich)
99 comments:
- Joanna Goddard said...
my friend actually says she has a bunch of terrifying gmails to her boyfriend that she has never sent! kind of scary to write them in gmail, though, because what if you accidentally pressed send?!
- emmilie. said...
I once wrote a loooooong letter to my best friend expressing long built-up frustrations I was having. It was so effective! I avoid confrontation at all costs, and the letter was a great vehicle to express what I was feeling... and then read over and realise how many of the issues were my own that I was just unfairly putting on her.
I never gave her the letter - but I kept it for myself. Years later, its interesting to look at every now and again. It shows how our friendship has changed (for the better) since then, and also how I have changed. A little window into my 22-year-old brain! - 10:54 AM
- sumslay said...
Ha, I too am an angry email writer (errr...typer?) in gmail. BUT, i put myself in the To field, so no accidents happen. It is very cathartic.
Also, I make it a point NOT to comment on fb when I'm drunk [anymore]. Bc, you know, after drinking you feel everything, so I tell myself, "If you still want to comment on that in the morning, you can." - 10:59 AM
- sumslay said...
Oh, and I've also used my Notes app in my iPhone for rants, when i simply must get it out immediately.
- Christina said...
I really like the idea of writing (but never sending!) a letter to a past love. I've never tried it, but it sounds like a much better idea than impulsively sending a regrettable note on facebook. Great post, thanks for sharing!
xo - 11:03 AM
- Christine said...
As a teacher, sometimes we write emails to parents about how we honestly feel and send it to a coworker and edit it down til it's safe to send.
- karatebear said...
This is something my Mom taught me. I write an email leaving the "to" field blank and save it as a draft. I thought everyone did this. It is cathartic! Get all the rage and frustration out.
- Angela said...
I am terrible at confronting people and it takes a lot of energy for me to do so, but I'm a huge journal-er so I often write out what I would say to this person if such an occasion would arise. Writing things out helps process my emotions, figure out where I'm coming from, and whether or not I'm crazy for being upset :P
When and if I do have a conversation with the person, the journal entry has proven itself to help me jog my mind on what bothered me and just makes sure that I don't skimp out on being honest. - 11:18 AM
- Joanna Goddard said...
christine, that's so interesting!!
- Joanna Goddard said...
angela, me too. journals are SO helpful for figuring out what you really think.
- handmade by amalia said...
Sounds to me like the beginning of a movie - and the letter does get sent, accidentally of course...
great post!
- Rachel Medlock said...
This method of venting absolutely needs to have a revival. I've tried it as a form of catharsis, and it helps so much. It's possibly the least harmful way to get out your negative emotions.
Suppose Anything Goes
- Rachel said...
Have you checked out http://thelostdrafts.tumblr.com? It is a collection of unsent emails and letters.
- Laura said...
I didn't know this was a lost art! I used to have a file on my computer of Angry Letters, but the best part about writing the angry letter and saving it is that you can read it months or years later and move it into the trash can. You can reflect on that anger and where you are now, and how 99% of the time, it is so much better/healthier/wiser to keep it to yourself.
- tobylynne said...
I've written a number of angry letters over the years. It's definitely my chosen way of venting and letting all the anger and frustration out without dragging anyone else into it! I would be way too scared to write one in an email because chances are likely I would accidentally send it!
- D said...
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- Ashley Arbaiza said...
futureme.org is the most therapeutic thing I have ever found. When I get heated about something I complain... to my future self!!! It is great to write in a diary or write a letter never to be sent but there is something comforting about knowing my frustration is going somewhere. When the email finally finds future you it is great to reflect with a clear mind about what was REALLY at the root of the venting session!
- Meadow said...
I've done this before. Even just drafting an email and not sending it (I leave out the recipient!). Or drafting a Word document full of frustrations then not saving it. I think that despite the fact we live in an instant gratification society, we can't use that as an excuse. Like for example, Facebook is not the place to hash it out with someone! I try to be cognizant of who can see what, especially if my real name is attached to something.
- Kendriana said...
I've written an angry letter to a relative, I never sent it but I plan on editting it to make it current before I move out of state next year. LOL
I actually wrote a love letter about two weeks ago to someone I really care about... He put it in the door his lab locker at dental school, it made me feel really special. - 11:44 AM
- managingmommyhood said...
I have written SO many never sent letters. They help sort out my emotions so well and sometimes by doing so I realize that whatever I was angry with was silly or I wasn't seeing both sides of the story.
I recently found a letter I wrote my dad when I was 16 that I am forever grateful I never gave him. It was not the kindest letter and so many of the things I referenced in it were things I would later learn more details about. I know if I had given my dad that letter it would have hurt him so much and for that I am so grateful. - 11:44 AM
- D said...
Hi there Joanna, great article. Actually, late last year I started a tumblr blog called The Lost Drafts (http://thelostdrafts.tumblr.com)
about this very theme, asking people to submit emails, letters or texts they never had the courage to send. I think it's fabulously therapeutic, not only to post but also to go through those drafts and gauge the evolution of your feelings about the issue at hand. Feel free to promote the blog as I'm always looking for new posts, and I certainly will hang on to this article! Thanks so much for such a great blog! xoxo MM - 11:45 AM
- The Wh0le Story said...
Back in the day, my counselor suggested this exercise to me. I actually did try it out. I can't say that it did much for me but it's a great concept if it works for someeone.
- Lynn said...
Oh yes! I wrote a very angry, I resent you email to an ex boyfriend last year. I never sent it, but it was incredibly helpful in letting go of the anger. I also thought it saved my friends from hearing me complain about him nonstop. :P
- Carrie Roth said...
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- Kerikins said...
As a psychologist in training, I give this exercise as "homework" a lot. It can be so cathartic! Plus, personally, I try to get my negative emotions out via stream of conscious letters.
- Lilac In May said...
An unsent angry email is the future! My draft box is full of them.
- Gina said...
I do that very often. I call it "to puke my anger" hahahaha it's really therapeutic. But most of the times I delete the letter just after writing it, cause I have fear that the subject of anger would discover it.
- AmazingConnection said...
Years ago, years and years ago, my grandfather parked somewhere in NYC where there was an obstructed No Parking sign. You know where this is going, when he returned, the car was gone. So he had to go to the west side impound lot. I mean, this really was the 80s, the west side impound lot was very far away then. And you had to have cash to get your car out. And getting $200 in cash wasn't as easy then. The whole thing was a really big hassle.
About a month later, he received notifications of a few unpaid NYC parking tickets. He was confused, he would never not pay a parking ticket. Looking more closely, he realize that before his car had been towed it had been ticketed. A few times. And at the impound lot, evidently, they had discarded the tickets. Now that 30 days had passed, the tickets had doubled.
My grandfather is an incredibly mild-mannered, friendly guy with a great sense of humor. I've almost never seen him angry; he really just lets things roll of his back. This, however, pissed him off. But, what could he do? Was he really going to try to take on impound lot employees about this? He wrote a check to cover the cost of the tickets and decided to let it go.
My grandmother was also disgusted by it, but she couldn't just let it go. I'm going to write them an angry letter, she announced. - 12:13 PM
- Tracy Carson said...
Yes! This is actually one of my most used therapeutic techniques I employ in my practice. I work with mostly women who courageously struggle to overcome the very natural emotions of anger and rage after an abusive past or event. Writing a letter to an abuser, or anyone that has wronged you, can be a powerful exercise in releasing those emotions. So often we feel guilty for being angry or upset and the power that comes with giving voice to our feelings is extremely cathartic!
- Katherine Fugit said...
Who needs unsent angry letters when you can just have a long, drawn out, imaginary argument with the offender while you're in the shower? You can change it up every which way until you say the most perfect thing and bonus(!) your pores will be nice and opened up when it's all over.
- Unknown said...
i would disagree that emails dont provide the same venting feeling - in fact i type so furiously i almost brake the keyboard. so yes, ive written plenty of unsent angry emails. it is my go to tactic for anyone that angers me, mostly men. i purge it all out...leave it for several days. if i still feel the same way after cooling off, some i actually send, but usually i just delete them as they served their purpose.
- kelly zellers said...
Oh my gosh, I wish more people would do this! So much better (and less uncomfortable for everyone) than a passive-aggressive Facebook rant!
- Kathleen Frances said...
I once wrote an angry letter to a friend about vaccinations. I'm pro she's anti. It wasn't a pen and paper letter but an email. I literally spent all day writing it, perfecting it. And then I never sent it. So in this day and age I think it's still possible as long as you're in "draft" mode;-P
I also never post my heated feelings on Facebook. And when I see others doing it I feel even more strongly about that decision.
I think it's definitely still possible now. Just with a keyboard than a pen and paper. - 12:32 PM
- Amy said...
Your point that people express emotions hastily and without thought in ways they might not have before social media is the reason I quit facebook a few years ago. I was tired of the emotional vomit and the feelings it stirred up inside of me.
There seems to be much lost in our hurried lives that do not take the time to stop, breathe, and reflect.
Great post!
- Sofia Donatelli said...
I love writing and receiving hand written letters and thanks you notes. I do it all the time. I think we should also do a just because ... written note. Great post.
stylishlyinlove.blogspot.com - 12:42 PM
- J.Mill said...
I write angry letters in gmail too, but never type in a "to" address. If the email has no recipient, it can't go anywhere! And when you finally decide to delete it, you can have that fun feeling of pushing the "empty trash" button.
- lucinda smith said...
SO good and SO true! i think i'm pretty good at editing my raw thoughts/emotions and am not very impulsive, but i LOVE that "catharsis" idea and "unallowable frankness & freedom". awesome advice.
www.currenttempo.com - 12:58 PM
- Leslie Musser said...
This concept is liberating and sobering, all at the same time. I appreciate the urge to temper our knee-jerk reactions with handwriting (or Word Document typing, as the case may be) before resorting to social media or vent-texting. Oftentimes, what seems paramount in the moment becomes inconsequential two hours later. Let the steam escape--but what to where it escapes.
www.onebrassfox.com - 12:58 PM
- SFMallyGirl said...
I wrote an angry email reply to an ex-boyfriend's rude and out-of-the-blue email, but instead of sending to him, sent to a few of my close friends. It was doubly cathartic, knowing he thought I didn't care enough to even respond, and getting my feelings validated from my friends. Highly recommend!
- SpeakingFondly said...
like katherine, i also have imaginary arguments! in the safe haven of my own home i can yell and curse and say whatever i want, going over it several different times to allow various "outcomes". i feel SO good after and am usually able to let go of whatever it was that was bothering me. usually about a guy. story of my life.
- Eleanor James said...
I wrote an old boyfriend in a word doc and it was very cathartic. Definitely better than verbally expressing myself on FB or twitter, ha. Great post! Eeep, I'd be WAY too concerned about accidentally hitting send on gmail too!
- Paper Becomes You said...
I definitely have written those, mostly to old boyfriends in college. Probably not since then though. I don't know if you realize it, but April is National Letter Writing Month! I'm posting an idea a week on my FB page (Paper Becomes You) to get people writing. Maybe this would be a good one to include! (Although, mine are falling into the actually send category...). In general, I think that writing of all kinds is really good for so many emotions: anger, happiness, sadness, gratitude, loneliness, love.
And thank you for all the writing that you do!
- Julia Parker said...
This is so great because I do this all the time but I didn't realize there was an actual term for it. I generally write my angry letters in my journal and they are often bullet points of what I'm mad about. I usually do this when things have gotten really bad with someone and I know I need to have a conversation with them. I let it sit for a couple of days in my journal and then I go back and choose the rational pieces from what I've written. But after reading this, I'm going to start doing it every time I get upset about something. I think it will help me tremendously, especially after I've seen how much it helps when I'm actually going to talk to someone. Maybe it will help in not letting things get to a really bad situation in the first place. Thank you!
- summery.org said...
I've never done the unsent angry letter, but after each heartbreak I write an unsent love letter.
xo, sheila
- Sarah O. said...
I've done the modern version of this. I used to handle insurance claims and dealt with a lot of angry, mean people. I would start out a Word doc writing what I wanted to say (Dear A**hole,), then delete the whole thing and write the proper business letter on top of it. I always felt like my original message somehow shined through. ;)
- Nina said...
Funny, I always thought of myself and week for not sending those letters (emails as well). I never realized that what I was doing was maybe the right thing.
- Joanna Goddard said...
haha, gina, i love this!
- Joanna Goddard said...
SO interesting to hear from therapists and psychologists! thanks for commenting!
- Chloe said...
it's so crazy how the internet has allowed us to say mean or unnecessary things without having to worry about the repercussions. i sometimes write an angry email with the intentions to NEVER send it and it totally helps me cool down!
- Zoomie said...
Also, once sent via email, they can be forwarded along to whomever the recipient wants - other friends, the media...
- eljohnny said...
My boyfriend and I recently broke up and of course right after it happened I had so many thoughts going through my head. I was angry and sad and disappointed and confused and had a lot to get off my chest so I wrote him an email filled with negativity and anger. Our situation is a tricky one because we were very good friends before we ever dated and share many mutual friends. We are still going to see each other quite often and we didn't end on bad terms, it just didn't work out, so I didn't want to say or do anything that would cause unnecessary drama or negative feelings. I saved the email but never sent it. It felt so good to just get everything out there. It's just like keeping a journal. You need to get things out but it's not always something you are comfortable saying to another person. I highly recommend writing it out. I think it's good for your mind.
- Anna Seay said...
I have written many of them! It's truly cathartic to vent your emotions on paper like that. I have also found that a great way to "let go" of the emotions after you've written them down is to burn the letter. Actually watch it burn and visualize any burdensome emotions going away.
http://www.bananagrovedesigns.blogspot.com/ - 2:36 PM
- Erik and Jane Petersons said...
Yes! I have written "angry letters" before and I find it so helpful. I first did it when I was working through a tough and deeply hurtful situation - my counselor recommended writing out my feelings in the letter, as if I was actually saying them to the person's face. It was so therapeutic to feel as if I had said it, so it was healing - without having to deal with all the added layers of an actual confrontation. The next step of the process was to reflect on what I had written and see how much I could change on my own, and then take the most important issues to the other person. In the end, the actual confrontation went much smoother and ultimately ended with understanding and reconciliation, instead of more anger and hurt generated by my emotions. I highly recommend the good, old-fashioned act of writing letters...even if you don't send them. :)
- lorral said...
insomnis ... the brain can't let go. Type out all the venom into letters. Maybe I will send them later to the stores involved. Maybe not. In the mean time it's out of MY brain.
- Lara Rose said...
Looks great, nice blog you have!
- Lynn DontBlameTheKids said...
The angry letter is definitely not a lost art to me! Email is risky (I might accidentally on purpose hit send), so I hand write it. It feels better that way. And you know? Once I manage to get it all down, it actually helps me get to the root of the problem and figure out why I am really angry--which is usually not for the reasons I thought before I sat down to write.
http://dontblamethekids.com - 3:05 PM
- Karelys Beltran Davis said...
I write emails. And don't send them. Just don't add the email address to avoid accidentally hitting send.
Same with formal emails (business stuff). Don't add the email address until you are sure you make sense and there are no typos. - 3:06 PM
- Unknown said...
One of the best pieces of advice I ever received from a supervisor was to type out that disgruntled email, walk away from your desk/don't look at the unsent email, and then return after 30 minutes with a "cleaner" perspective. I am sure this has saved me many times from being perceived as a 'bitch'.
- JorgenJang said...
I LOVE this! I am still a believer in and practitioner of writing unsent angry letters and emails, and it is affirming to read that the likes of Abraham Lincoln and Mark Twain did it, too. And one tip to ensure that I don't accidentally send out the angry emails: I put my own email address in the "to" line. Makes saving the draft a less terrifying process :-)
- Sarah @ 702 Park Project said...
I love that article! I have been doing this for as long as I can remember. When I was young and upset with a friend, my brother, my parents, myself, etc, my mom always told me to write a letter, but never send it. By the time I finished the letter, I was usually calm enough to no longer need to send it. In my adult life I've had to do this a few times, and it really is cathartic. Thanks for sharing! :)
- Evelyn L said...
I think we're in much more danger today than back then. Konnikova mentions, "We have more avenues to express immediate displeasure than ever before, and may thus find ourselves more likely to hit send or tweet when we would have done better to hit save or delete." The swift and simple movement of pinky finger from colon to enter/return is too easy.
How many times have we hastily sent an email, only to blush afterwards and hum and haw for the next few hours because we regret it? Maybe we even sent a DELTE PREVIOUS EMAIL subjected email soon afterwards. Speaking of which, isn't Google considering an option to delete sent emails?
The internet, wherever and however we access it, opens up a faceless realm of communication. Think about cyber bullying...how it has thrived with the internet. Saying a quick and cruel comment over a screen tempts anyone more than a face to face encounter.
The written letter gives one time to read, reflect and most importantly, cool down. Coming to our senses doesn't happen in the 3.3974 seconds it takes to whip back a snarky text! - 3:17 PM
- ashlaielli said...
What a great article, I've used that "trick" so many times! I've typed so many messages and emails that I set aside for later and decide to never send because the act of writing it out helped me to work out the issue. I've also found this helpful when trying to make a big decision. I'll write up a letter to my friends or someone in particular explaining my situation and asking for guidance, and by the end of the letter I know what I need to do!
- Lily L-M said...
What about this is "lost"?! I still do it! hehe
http://whilemyboyfriendsaway.blogspot.com/ - 3:41 PM
- 123 said...
There is a cool website called "blahtherapy" where you can vent to total strangers who are mostly objective and usually pretty helpful. All in an anonymous way. You can either vent to someone or listen to someone. It's nice to help and be helped, especially when you don't feel like bothering a friend or a family member with your problems.
- manthony said...
I totally write unsent angry letters! In my last relationship, I was pretty unhappy pretty often and this was my unloading tool of choice. Not only was it emotionally cathartic to do an uncensored brain dump and let the emotions run wild on the page, but when it came time to actually sit down and talk about whatever issue had ruffled my feathers, I could sift through the letter and pick out the core nuggets I wanted to bring to the table. Worked like a charm!
- hellokorin said...
I did this just earlier today! It feels wonderful to be able to express those angry thoughts into words, without the guilt or regret I often feel later when actually spoken. It's surprisingly satisfying to just get those words OUT THERE, out of your head, without anyone actually hearing or reading them.
- Lamisa said...
I feel happiest when I limit my use of social media. I used to write angry letters, but often it ended up fueling my anger. Now I breathe and let things go.
- Lamisa said...
I feel happiest when I limit my use of social media. I used to write angry letters, but often it ended up fueling my anger. Now I breathe and let things go.
- Amanda said...
I still write so much by hand that this is not something that has ever died to me. I've done it multiple times, and sometimes revised a note that was less angry to actually give someone. I think everyone needs to do this. Too many people hold on to their anger and writing is therapeutic.
- carlieloulah said...
I've still got an unsent angry letter saved to my computer. For someone who is normally scared of confrontation I found writing it actually helped me draft and edit what I wanted to say in real life to the person who had really upset me. It is so cathartic and helps you work through your anger.
- Sammi Egan said...
I still write angry letters, usually online tho' (I have a super private password protected journal) and that helps. Also I started recording videos recently which helps when sometimes I need to vocalise things.
- Allison Beck said...
I have never written an angry letter, knowing I'd not send it -- but oh did I receive one... well, four?! The exercise of writing a letter in anger makes complete sense to me. Personally, I usually draft and write it in my head, and think through it while on a run. Or, in theory, on paper. But via email? After receiving a VERY VERY hurtful "written out of anger but not meant to be sent" email that was "accidentally" sent to me (I think that was case; I am thankful I got it because it made my life a lot easier/my decision that was made but I kept rescinding on easier to enforce), I don't think I'd ever draft one in my email box. One never knows, and I've never wanted to hurt someone. Often, going through a cathartic process like drafting a "angry" letter is a way I process my emotions, for me. It's not meant towards someone.
Have you ever written an angry letter, knowing you'll never send it? Would you now? I once read a challenge (I can't remember where) to write a love letter to a current, past or future love without sending it, which also sounds like a pretty compelling exercise. Anyway, let me know what you think!
Has anyone else ever been the recipient of a email like Jo mentions? I kind of want to go up and slap the guy who sent me it - I mean, really?! The best part was his scrambling to make up for his mistake.... it was VERY transparent how wrong he was for me. He could hate and say TERRIBLE thing about me one moment, then say he wants to marry me and is the one for me the next. It was scary...
A in VT - 7:20 PM
- Ariel Bendall said...
I needed this inspiration right now! I am a school counselor, and will definitely use this as an activity with my 5th graders tomorrow.
- Lu said...
writing a letter or a list of concerns, worries, annoyances then burning them is something i've done since i was a little girl. very therapeutic!
- Charlie said...
Great post and I have absolutely loved reading all the comments! I'm the ultimate non-confrontational person so maybe this is just the right approach for me! The whole idea raises an excellent point about technology making it so easy for people to express their angry comments without even thinking! Sometimes reading comments on news websites when people are so angry and abusive can make you question whether there are many nice people left in the world!
- Lindsey P said...
I do this all the time. I use Google Drive, mostly. I have an entire collection of letters I wrote to/for one of my best friends/my boyfriend (it was a complicated relationship) after he was in a really bad car accident. It was so therapeutic. Mine aren't necessarily angry letters, just a way of journaling.
- Sarah said...
When I went through a really terrible breakup that didn't leave me with much closure, I wrote letters to him everyday to get all of my feelings and emotion out but never sent them. It was soo therapeutic!
- Roz Mignogna said...
I'm definitely guilty of sending angry emails to family…and copying the rest of the family on them. Signs of my immaturity, I think. But sometimes that has been necessary even though I can't say it makes things better. At least your post here points us all to the fact that people are willing to spew out verbal vomit as they hide behind their screens. As a blogger I've received unsolicited hate comments before and it's SO hard to deal with. I can't believe what people can do or say to complete strangers.
- Lydia SB said...
I write hot letters to my mother in law! It honestly helps so so much to get out all my frustrations when I obviously can't vent them all to my husband. It also helps me frame my complaints and sometimes let's me see where I'm being unfair. I save them buried on my computer at work so they'd never be found...
For email, when I'm mad, I'll write it and save it. If I still feel that way in 24 hours I'll send. I almost never feel as strongly later so it's been a valuable tool for me. - 10:22 PM
- Kirsten Maurer said...
I once wrote a long letter to a past love. And accidentally left my journal open. My husband read it. One of the worst days of my life.
- Katerina said...
I ALWAYS press 'send' :-)
The trouble is, I find I always sound angrier in writing than in person- must be the confused result of being the daughter of a proper, reserved Englishman and a hot tempered Greek.
That being said, my feelings and convictions are never truer than when I am angry. And sometimes feelings have to be conveyed, or they'll stay just under the surface forever. My only regret is not writing MORE angry emails!
http://www.lexandliv.com - 10:46 PM
- Lauren said...
I love this! I draft angry emails any time I feel it necessary. I even go back and edit them multiple times until I think it's a well crafted letter. I leave it in my drafts folder until I've moved on from the anger or hurt…and then, delete!
- Albert einstien said...
Your articles and contents are encouraging.
Welcome to Radioactiv - 5:18 AM
- A. Sparkle said...
Haha! I've done this many times and it is surprising how much it helps with anger or sadness. It's funny how even writing.. Er.. Typing in caps really does feel like you're yelling at someone! Lol..
- Lori Cartwright said...
I had my heart broken by a good friend and stewed about it for months. I finally hand wrote a very long "angry letter" and then burnt it in the back yard and threw the ashes into the wind. The relief I felt was instant and so good. When I see her and start to feel hurt, I remind myself of those moments in the wind and everything feels better.
- Unknown said...
As a sophomore in high school, I composed a very elegant letter -- in English -- detailing why, precisely, my Spanish teacher should be relieved of her post. My mother read it, smiled, nodded, and suggested that we set it aside for a day before sending it to the principal. Somehow it went missing in those intervening 24 hours, and I went back to brutal cross-country practices and eating peanut butter straight out of the jar.
As a college student, I took one BA in English and one BA in Spanish. Fast forward nearly 10 years: my PhD is in English, and I recently accepted a tenure-track job in the Department of Spanish at the flagship university in the state where I live.
So, um, yes, big fan of the analog, unsent letter. Thanks, Mom!
Love, Allison - 9:40 PM
- bunnygrace said...
Unfortunately, my aunt used to be a big fan of the angry letter, only she'd post them too! :S Its caused a few family feuds, one of them isnt over yet, but i guess thats the risk. Putting pen to paper is so much more satisfying, especially when you can push the pen onto the paper with fury, let the ink bleed or poke holes in the paper, its like letter voodoo haha
- Rudey R said...
I just stumbled upon a lost letter to a former college boyfriend. It was never sent, and upon reading it 20 years later, I'm so thankful it wasn't. I love this line from the Times article that says writing a letter but not sending it "let us separate what needed to be said from what needed only to be felt." The letter I wrote helped me know I needed to end it with him, but it contains emotions that didn't need to be shared. I smiled when I saw this link, Joanna. Thanks for sharing...
On another note, did any one ever send a letter to "the one that got away." My girlfriends and I all sent letters to former boyfriends that we thought were the "ones that got away." We sent these in the spring the year we studied in France. I can say I'm happy I sent that one - it opened an interesting door. And for one of my friends lead to a rekindled relationship that lead to a marriage. - 7:31 AM
- Jennifer said...
I wrote letters to my mom after she passed away when I was 31. It was very theraputic to write down how much I missed her and tell her about her grandchildren. I think I wrote for about a year.
- Ashleigh Blatt said...
I love this! Apparently Ab Lincoln had a very bad temper and would "go off" in a very cruel manner. One day he was challenged to a duel because of his harsh words. From that day on - he never spoke a bad word about anyone.
I love to know that great people worked at being great too!! - 9:43 AM
- NeatoKeen@Etsy said...
I like to write emails in draft and revisit them in a couple of hours. I always discover loads of typos and I usually tone it down a notch. I seldom get angry in my life, but I tend to be a tad bit too effusive and silly in my missives. Rewrites are always a good idea for me :)
- noodle said...
Writing letters to release emotions is a very good thing, but I have always been told to never keep it. Keeping it implies 'holding on' to it. Instead I burn it and throw the ashes into the sea - it feels very liberating!
- Kate M. said...
I once wrote a letter of forgiveness after I had been holding in a lot of resenting anger. I forgave him for the things he did, and myself for holding onto it for longer than necessary. Instead of sending it, or keeping it, I tacked it up onto a telephone pole one evening on my way home from work. The next day it was gone. It was quite therapeutic.
- Manuela Ancau said...
Hmmm....i recently wrote a terrifyingly angry list....with everything my roomate doesn't do but she expects me to....it's horrifying, but it has actually helped me...i also avoid conflicts at any cost, they just seem like an incredible waste of time. I don't like hating someone, i don't like that feeling. It is the fisrt time i write such a list, which i am sure she will never get to see, and it is for the best, because she's someone with whom you cannot talk, have an actual conversation she's just not the kind and understanding person. Well....to conclude...i think writing actually helps...whenever i'm frustrated or tired or angry....i write, whatever comes to mind. Tootle-loo everyone!
- Sarah :: EAT.PRAY.MOVE Yoga Retreats said...
This never gets old and always works. And taking a walk certainly never hurts ;)
- mccart said...
my name is mccart i never believe in spell casting, until when i was was tempted to try it. i and my husband have been having a lot of problem living together, he will always not make me happy because he have fallen in love with another lady outside our relationship, i tried my best to make sure that my husband leave this woman but the more i talk to him the more he makes me fell sad, so my marriage is now leading to divorce because he no longer gives me attention. so with all this pain and agony, i decided to contact this spell caster to see if things can work out between me and my husband again. this spell caster who was a woman told me that my husband is really under a great spell that he have been charm by some magic, so she told me that she was going to make all things normal back. she did the spell on my husband and after 5 days my husband changed completely he even apologize with the way he treated me that he was not him self, i really thank this woman her name is Dr Aluta she have bring back my husband back to me i want you all to contact her who are having any problem related to marriage issue and relationship problem she will solve it for you. her
email is firstname.lastname@example.com, she is a woman and she is great. wish you good time.
- Verity said...
Yes, I have, well I've typed one....it's still sat on my laptop and it will probably stay there. I add to it every now and again or take bits away depending on what happened between the last 'edit'. You sort of feel a sense of victory for every day that you didn't send it and sometimes grateful you didn't in your moment of anger...... I think it can stay on my laptop for the moment and hopefully I'll get round to deleting it one day ....
- Verity said...
Yes, I have, well I've typed one....it's still sat on my laptop and it will probably stay there. I add to it every now and again or take bits away depending on what happened between the last 'edit'. You sort of feel a sense of victory for every day that you didn't send it and sometimes grateful you didn't in your moment of anger...... I think it can stay on my laptop for the moment and hopefully I'll get round to deleting it one day ....
- blr1002 said...
I have an email where i write down everything I want to say to people when I am angry, the exact things, so I can think about it... this helps me because, I need to help myself stand for myself. I dont open them after I write them. I dont know if I will ever read them again... but having another email which only i have access to ensures privacy and time, and personal reflection time.


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On the brink of Civil War, King Henry IV (John Gielgud) attempts to consolidate his reign while fretting with unease over his son's seeming neglect of his royal duties. Hal (Keith Baxter), the young Prince, openly consorts with Sir John Falstaff (Orson Welles) and his company of "Diana's foresters, Gentlemen of the shade, Minions of the moon". Hal's friendship with the fat knight substitutes for his estrangement from his father. Both Falstaff and the King are old and tired; both rely on Hal for comfort in their final years, while the young Prince, the future Henry V, nurtures his own ambitions.
Orson Welles considered Chimes at Midnight his personal favorite of all his films. Perhaps the most radical and groundbreaking of all Shakespeare adaptations, the film condenses the Bard's Henriad cycle into a single focused narrative. Its international cast comprises of Jeanne Moreau, Fernando Rey, Margaret Rutherford, and Ralph Richardson as the narrator, in addition to Welles and Gielgud. The film's harrowing war scenes have proven especially influential, cited in Kenneth Branagh's Henry V as well as Mel Gibson's Braveheart.
"Greatness...Here is a film to treasure" -- Roger Ebert "A dark masterpiece, shot through with slapstick and sorrow. Magic" -- Time Out "Welles' majestic portrayal of Falstaff as 'the old England, dying and betrayed'" -- Total Film
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Until now, Blogger automatically generated the URL of a post using the first words from the title. If you want to customize the URL, there's a new "permalink" option in the "post settings" sidebar. When you create a post, click "permalink", enable "custom URL" and type the file name. You can only customize the file name (it's highlighted in the following example):
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As a side note, there's a mistake in the help center page for this feature: "Because Blogger automatically creates the URL from information from your post title, your URL would change should you decide to edit the title. This would result in broken links, and fewer visitors to your blog." That used to be a major annoyance in the pre-2006 Blogger, but it's no longer the case today.
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Hello. For the last few days, every time I play a game, the message "Connection interrupted. Reconnecting..." pops up every 20 seconds or so. I contacted my ISP yesterday and was informed that my internet connection is working properly. Does anybody know what is causing this problem? Does anyone know how to fix it? I would appreciate some assistance. Kind Regards, Arthur2
Which browser and version are you using ?
Are you using a pc or laptop ?
Hey, kohai. Thank you for responding. I am using Internet Explorer 9 on my laptop. Please let me know if you need any additional information. I hope you will be able to solve this problem. Regards, Arthur
can you try using another browser like chrome and see if the problem persists? we need to know if it's IE9 related...
Yes sorry, we saw that and got it fixed as soon as we could.
Sorry :(
Thank you for the advice, Erik. There were no interruptions when I used Google Chrome instead of Internet Explorer 9. Does this mean that I cannot use IE9 for Chess.com anymore?
IE9 is a problematic browser. It has two things wrong with it:
1. it's really new2. it's from microsoft
I highly recommend Chrome, Firefox, or Safari for Live Chess.
Ok. Thank you Erik.
only happens when your winning and the other person moves, its obviously a cheat.
"connection interrupet... reconnecting"
Chess. com has tried since 2007 to solve this problem of cheating but without success. I believe that all player will leave chess.com unless the famous experts solve the problem.
It's funny that
A) you assert knowledge about something that has been going on years before you joined
B) you assert that everyone will give up and leave when they have been dealing with it for years
C) you assert that it has nothing to do with technology being a complex and imperfect thing but is always due to the other guy cheating.
Dear chess.com support,
This is not a reply but a statement of what I said.
Regarding A) this is something that I read in your forum, it is not my personal knowledge.
Regarding B) believe me. It is frustating to be confronted frequently with "connection interrupted" and all its consequences.
Regarding C) it is strange that the "connection interrupted..reconnecting" happens when the opponent is loosing with his consequent winning because my time is running off. Has all this to do with technology or it is genuine cheating.
Please give a clear answer on the points submitted.
Kind regards
Maurizio de Nigris
I seem to be losing more games to the conection interupted reconecting routine than all other outcomes combined. Makes me hurt inside to not be able to finish off a beautifully set up win. I never thought about cheating. How could that be done why would someone cheat at this level??
i have similar experiences just like you edrosian but it doesnt matter anymore to me if i lose by interrupted conection. theres nothing i can do i am not computer literate.
If any of you are using Internet Explorer 9, please go into your live chess settings page and disable "Seek Graph". (Use List not Graph).
Microsoft have messed with IE9, and while they said the last version was out of beta, it appears it wasn't. So anyone who sees 'you need to upgrade to full IE9' message on their screen that comes from Microsoft or manually upgrades straight to IE9 has problems in live chess IF they use the Seek Graph.
I've had a look on Microsoft dev pages, and it appears whatever MS did, we're not the only ones its affecting
i am using microsoft IE9 and its going well...........................
It will, aslong as you don't use the seek graph :)
but i don't changed the setting......aunt.
Thanks for that tip, Kohai.
I've disabled the "Seek Graph" option.
I'll see if that works.
Kind Regards,
longest chess game Hikaru says come on...
by MichaelGleason a few minutes ago
what to do in this position
by X_PLAYER_J_X 2 minutes ago
omg I just got 2 points for beating my oppenent
by TPGriffin76 3 minutes ago
Had a good start....
by ArtNJ 3 minutes ago
Ruy Lopez
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Silicone Chess Board Ink Issues
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5/6/2015 - Opened Up
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'Ginger & Rosa' shows growing up in nuclear age is hard to do
"Ginger & Rosa" are sisters by different mothers.
They were born in 1945, the year the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima - their mothers were in adjacent beds at the hospital - grew up in the same housing project under the shadow of a nuclear cloud and came of age during the Cuban missile crisis. »Read Full Article
Scrap between Time Warner Cable, WTMJ-TV shows in November numbers
The first ratings sweeps period since the two-month blackout of WTMJ-TV (Channel 4) on Time Warner Cable sees the ratings playing field returned to nearly normal. But if WTMJ suffered residual damage, so did Time Warner.
WISN-TV (Channel 12) won its sixth consecutive 10 p.m. news sweeps ratings race; WITI-TV (Channel 6) won the 6 a.m. news slot; the WTMJ news won at 5 p.m.; and WDJT- TV (Channel 58) beat all newscasts at 6 p.m. with "Jeopardy" and is inching toward third at 10 p.m. »Read Full Article(4)
Chance the Rapper is playing by his own #NewRules
This past Saturday, 20-year-old Chicagoan Chance the Rapper stopped through Milwaukee on his "Social Experiment" Tour. I expected the show at The Rave to be packed with tons of young fans eager to hear him perform songs from his critically acclaimed 2013 mixtape Acid Rap, especially since those under 21 couldn't get into his first Milwaukee show at Harley Davidson's 110th Anniversary this summer. And yeah, it was packed. What I did not expect was the live band, original video production, full light set up, three separate videographers or his complete command of the stage from beginning to end. »Read Full Blog Post
New Glarus Wild Sour Ale the only Wisconsin beer included in Top 25 beers of 2013
Let the end-of-the-year lists begin. And let it begin with beer.
DRAFT Magazine posts its list of top 25 beers of 2013. Author Christopher Statem lauds the flexibility of IPA and says research helped him discover that "for every flawless traditional style, there was a mind-blowingly weird beer counterpoint." »Read Full Article
Time Warner Cable lost subscribers during WTMJ blackout
Media and communications financial monitoring firm SNL Kagan estimates that Time Warner Cable lost 10,350 subscribers in the Milwaukee market during the third quarter of 2013.
Based, conservatively, on an average cable bill of $100 per month that figure represents a loss of about $12.4 million per year. (100 x 12 x 10,350) »Read Full Blog Post(48)
Milwaukee radio ratings for November: WMIL is champ, WTMJ strong
Below is the audience share for Milwaukee radio stations among listeners 6 and older - also known as total audience - between 6 a.m. and midnight in November.
Clear Channel country music station WMIL-FM (106.1) again is the market leader; it has won every ratings period in 2013. Journal Broadcast Group news, sports and conservative talk WTMJ-AM (620) jumps from third to second, and does so without Milwaukee Brewers baseball. »Read Full Blog Post(8)
Frankly Music crew shapes Barber, Schonberg work beautifully
Apparently, the Frankly Music concert series is not just about instrumental music.
Baritone Kelly Markgraf joined violinist Frank Almond and a roster of instrumentalists that shifted with each piece at the Wisconsin Conservatory of Music Monday evening to present a stirring, fascinating evening of music just slightly off the proverbial beaten path. »Read Full Article
Suburban Bourbon restaurant-bar in the works in Muskego
A restaurant and bar called Suburban Bourbon -- specializing in bourbon, whiskey and Scotch on the drinks side and slow-cooked meats on the food side -- is planned in Muskego.
Remodeling has begun at S76-W17745 Janesville Road, formerly High Tide pub and, before that, Williams Supper Club. It could open as soon as late January. »Read Full Blog Post
On Tap Today: Nicholas Lampert discusses 'A People's Art History of the United States'
If you possess the (misguided) perception that art doesn't bring about social change, Nicholas Lampert has a new book to prove you wrong.
The local artist and University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee faculty member has a new book out, "A People's Art History of the United States: 250 Years of Activist Art and Artists Working in Social Justice Movements." Journal Sentinel arts writer Mary Louise Schumacher recently described the book as "ambitious" and "richly illustrated," saying it "puts art history and the worlds of politics and social justice back together where they belong." »Read Full Blog Post


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The American Dental Association developed these dental practice parameters for voluntary use by practicing dentists. The parameters are intended, foremost, as an aid to clinical decision making and thus, they describe clinical considerations in the diagnosis and treatment of oral health conditions. Evaluation in the context of these parameters includes diagnosis.
Additionally, parameters will assist the dental profession by providing the basis on which the profession's commitment to high-quality care can be demonstrated and can continue to be improved.
The dental practice parameters are condition-based, presenting an array of possible diagnostic and treatment considerations for oral health conditions. Condition-based parameters, rather than procedure-based parameters, were determined to be the most useful because this approach recognizes the need for integrated treatments of oral conditions rather than emphasizing isolated treatment procedures. The parameters are also oriented toward the process of care and describe elements of diagnosis and treatment.
While the parameters describe the common elements of diagnosis and treatment, it is acknowledged that unique clinical circumstances, and individual patient preferences, must be factored into clinical decisions. This requires the dentist's careful professional judgment. Balancing individual patient needs with scientific soundness is a necessary step in providing care.
It is understood that treatment provided by the dentist may deviate from the parameters, in individual cases, depending on the clinical circumstances presented by the patient. This should be documented and explained to the patient.
The elements of care that are described in the parameters were derived from a consensus of professional opinion. This consensus included expert opinion on the topic and the clinical experience of practicing dentists. In addition, the research literature, and parameters and guidelines of other dental organizations were reviewed.
The American Dental Association recognizes that other interested parties, such as payers, courts, legislators and regulators may also opt to use these parameters. The Association encourages users to become familiar with these parameters as the profession's statement on the scope of clinical oral health care.
However, these parameters are not designed to address considerations outside of the clinical arena and, therefore, may not be directly applicable to all health policy issues.
Furthermore, these parameters are intended to describe the range of acceptable treatment modalities. They are intended as educational resources, not legal requirements. As such, the parameters are not intended to establish standards of dental care, which are rigid and inflexible, and represent what must be done; nor are they guidelines which are less rigid, but represent what should be done; nor are they intended to undermine or restrict the dentist's exercise of professional judgment. In this context, considerable thought was given to the use of the verbs "may," "should" and "must." The verb "may" clearly allows the practitioner to decide whether to act.
The verb "should" indicates a degree of preference and differs in meaning from "must" or "shall" (which require the practitioner to act).
Throughout the parameter document, "dentist" refers to the patient's attending dentist. Additionally, elements of the parameters concerned with patient consent refer to the patient's parent, guardian or other responsible party, when the patient is a minor or is incompetent.
The Association intends to continually develop, revise and maintain parameters, in order to include all dental conditions and to accommodate advances in dental technology and science.
The key element in the design of this set of parameters for orofacial trauma is the professional judgment of the attending dentist, for a specific patient, at a specific time.
In a patient presenting with orofacial trauma, medical stabilization takes precedence over dental treatment.
The patient's chief complaint, concerns and expectations should be considered by the dentist.
When possible, the dentist should instruct the patient on the protocol for managing the orofacial trauma prior to evaluation.
The dentist should attempt to manage the patient's pain, anxiety and behavior during examination and treatment to facilitate safety, efficiency and patient cooperation. (See: ADA Policy Statement: The Use of Sedation and General Anesthesia by Dentists and Guidelines for the Use of Sedation and General Anesthesia by Dentists.)
Following oral evaluation (see limited, comprehensive, periodic, detailed and extensive evaluation parameters) and consideration of the patient's needs, the dentist should provide the patient with information about orofacial trauma prior to obtaining consent for treatment.
The dental and medical histories should be considered by the dentist to identify medications and predisposing conditions that may affect the prognosis, progression and management of orofacial trauma.
The dentist should utilize a process of differential diagnosis when evaluating orofacial trauma.
The dentist should consider that the cause of orofacial trauma may be multifactorial and may affect multiple sites with differing degrees of severity.
The dentist should consider the possibility that the patient may be the victim of physical abuse and/or neglect.
When the dentist considers it necessary, (an)other health care professional(s) should be consulted to acquire additional information.
The dentist should refer the patient to (an)other health professional(s) when the dentist determines that it is in the best interest of the patient.
Factors affecting the patient's speech, function, and orofacial aesthetics should be considered by the dentist in developing a treatment plan.
The behavioral, psychological, anatomical, developmental and physiological limitations of the patient should be considered by the dentist in developing a treatment plan.
Restorative and dental restorative implications, pulpal/endodontic status, tooth position, and periodontal status and prognosis should be considered in developing a treatment plan.
The dentist may counsel the patient concerning the potential effects of the patient's health condition, medication use and behaviors on his or her oral health.
Medications should be prescribed, modified and/or administered for dental patients whose known conditions would affect or be affected by dental treatment provided without the medication or its modification. The dentist should consult with the prescribing health care professional(s) before modifying medications being taken by the patient for known conditions. (See: ADA Statement on Antibiotic Prophylaxis, Prevention of Bacterial Endocarditis: A Statement for the Dental Profession (PDF), and A-Z Topic: Antibiotic Prophylaxis.)
After consideration of the individual circumstances the dentist should decide whether the orofacial trauma should be monitored or treated.
Following evaluation, treatment priority should be given to the management of emergency conditions, pain and anxiety.
The dentist, when possible, should recommend treatment; present treatment options, if any; and discuss the probable benefits, limitations and risks associated with treatment and the probable consequences of no treatment.
When possible, any treatment performed should be with the concurrence of the patient and the dentist. If the patient insists upon treatment not considered by the dentist to be beneficial for the patient, the dentist may decline to provide treatment. If the patient insists upon treatment considered by the dentist to be harmful to the patient, the dentist should decline to provide treatment.
Relevant and appropriate information about the patient and any necessary coordinated treatment should be communicated between the referring dentist and the health professional(s) accepting the referral.
The dentist should consider the individual needs of each patient in selecting material(s) and treatment(s).
The dentist should be responsible for educating the patient about maintaining good oral hygiene, appropriate for the patient's condition.
The dentist should consider, and inform the patient, that treatment for orofacial traumas may include multiple phases of treatment.
The dentist may prescribe and/or administer pharmacological agents.
Foreign matter may be removed from the trauma area.
Lacerations may be repaired.
Alteration of tooth morphology and/or modification or placement of restorations may be performed by the dentist to facilitate treatment or reduce symptoms.
Resective and/or reconstructive surgical procedures may be performed by the dentist.
Endodontic therapy may be performed by the dentist.
Transitional or provisional restorations may be used by the dentist to facilitate treatment.
The dentist may utilize manipulation and/or stabilization techniques to facilitate treatment.
Surgical management of this condition may include the removal, repositioning, and/or reimplantation of teeth, and other intra-oral and extra-oral surgical procedures. The patient should be informed of appropriate treatments to maintain space and/or replace teeth. as determined by the dentist.
The dentist should communicate, by prescription, necessary information and authorization for fabrication of appliance(s) or prosthesis(es) to the dental laboratory technician. Although the fabrication may be delegated, the dentist is responsible for the accuracy and delivery of the appliance(s) or prosthesis(es).
The dentist should emphasize the prevention of oral trauma through patient education in preventive oral health practices, which may include orofacial protective appliances.
The dentist should inform the patient that he or she should participate in a prescribed program of continuing care to allow the dentist to evaluate the effectiveness of the treatment provided.
Documentation of treatment provided, counseling and recommended preventive measures, as well as consultations with and referrals to other health care professionals should be included in the patient's dental record.


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NSTeenshttp://www.nsteens.org/This site for teens offers advice on topics like online safety, social networking, and cyberbullying.
Tolerance.orghttp://www.tolerance.orgTolerance.org encourages people from all walks of life to fight hate and promote tolerance.
Anti-Defamation Leaguehttp://www.adl.orgThe mission of this organization is to fight anti-Semitism and bigotry of all kinds.
American Psychological Association (APA)http://www.apa.orgThe APA provides information and education about a variety of mental health issues for people of all ages.
Stop Bullyinghttp://www.stopbullying.govThis U.S. government website offers valuable resources for kids and adults on bullying awareness, prevention, and intervention.
National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center (NYVPRC)http://www.safeyouth.orgNYVPRC was established as a central source of information on prevention and intervention programs, publications, research, and statistics on violence committed by and against children and teens.
National Association of School Psychologists (NASP)http://www.nasponline.orgThe mission of the NASP is to promote educationally and psychologically healthy environments for all children and youth by implementing research-based programs that prevent problems, enhance independence, and promote optimal learning.


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Portable salad bar keeps foods and beverages chilled for hours! Jumbo serving station is roomy enough to hold multiple bowls, dishes, bottles and cans. Just inflate, fill with ice, set on table, and you're good to go. Perfect for tailgating, picnics, parties, campouts, and serving large crowds indoors or out. PVC material inflates to 54" L x 22" W x 4-1/2" H. Folds flat to store.
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Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Dairy-Free, Sugar-Free Strawberry Coconut Ice Cream
Last week my daughter, Lily, concocted her own ice cream using cashews, water, agave nectar, frozen bananas, cherries, and raspberries. She also added a half of an avocado, a few spoonfuls of raw coconut butter, and a splash of vanilla. I wrote the recipe down somewhere. She made it in our Vita-Mix and it was delicious!
Today I wanted to share with you a dairy-free ice cream made in an ice cream maker. I have a Cuisinart Ice Cream Maker that works beautifully and won't break the bank. Making ice cream in a Vita-Mix or food processor certainly works, but the end product lacks that creamy, ice dreamy mouth feel of true ice cream.
Last September, Tom made a white nectarine ice cream using the ice cream maker that was so good I wanted to hide the container and eat it all myself! I have that recipe scribbled down somewhere. Maybe later in the summer I will share it. And now, the strawberry ice cream....
Strawberry Coconut Ice Cream
This ice cream needs to be made in an ice cream maker. It can also be made into popsicles. After pouring the liquid into my machine, I still had about a cup that wouldn't fit - so that be came 2 popsicles. Serve ice cream with sliced fresh strawberries and fresh mint leaves for a cooling summer dessert.
2 cans full fat coconut milk
2 to 2 1/2 cups frozen strawberries (about 1 pound)
1/2 cup raw honey
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 to 2 teaspoons lemon flavoring (optional)
Place all ingredients into a blender or Vita-Mix and blend until smooth and creamy. Immediately pour the liquid into your ice cream maker. I kept mine on for about 25 minutes and then transferred the container to the freezer. It needs to chill for about 2 hours before serving. Enjoy! Source: www.NourishingMeals.com
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41 comments:
Oh my goodness, that sounds fabulous! I'm making this tonight! And yes, please, please do share the white nectarine ice cream recipe. That sounds so good! By the way, I absolutely love your cookbook! It's probably the one I've used the most in the past year or so, and I have a lot of cookbooks! Everything I've made has been delicious - even my husband likes it and he's really picky! :-) My daughter loves the smoothies!
ReplyDelete- Jennifer L.June 11, 2009 at 8:43 AM
Mmmm. I've been wondering what to do with the ice cream maker now that I am not eating dairy products. We truly have no shortage of sweet things to enjoy.
I made the cherry apple pudding for D. a few days ago and shared it with some friends with the cashew topping and they couldn't stop raving about it. They insisted that I should sell it! I explained that these fabulous recipes are not my own, but that I'd gladly share the recipe. One friend explained that she had neither the time nor the culinary expertise to whip up such yummy food, but that she would certainly love to just go out and get it somewhere.
I cook for anyone who comes near our house and they all love, love the things that I make from your cookbook.
You have a lot of people here who are fans of the finished product, and a lot of them are simply not going to cook their own food, for whatever reasons (two common excuses are lack of time and lack of culinary inclination). In addition to a third cookbook, I see gluten-free restaurants in your horizon :-). Wouldn't that be fabulous (a gluten-free restaurant--not you starting them)!
Another neat idea I had was for stores like Whole Foods and our local co-ops to start listing their cookbook sources on their Deli foods and feature different cookbooks each month. It'd be a good way to sort of get a taste of the possibilities from various cookbooks and I imagine it would boost sales :-).
Your fans here will be floored by this strawberry ice cream, I can already tell by looking at the ingredients that it's going to be a treat! I love how Lily at such a young age is following your spirt of creating great recipes!! Those photos are so lovely. Love that cute bowl! I made Coconut Gal's ice cream last night and it was delicious. Now I need to start making your (and Lily's!) ice cream recipes. :-) I need to investigate the ice cream maker you mentioned, too. Ours is old and we only use it like every five years. LOL
ShirleyI love homemade ice cream. I think peach is my favorite, but your strawberry looks amazing. Although it hasn't been that warm around here this spring, I'm always up for ice cream and you've inspired me to start experimenting.
The photo series on this post is wonderful. I especially like Lily (I assume it's Lilly) holding the bowl, which I'm guessing is the bunny bowl. Aaaahhh, very cute!
xoWow - it has been a crazy last few days here! This was the last week of school for the girls and there was much to do, especially today! Phew, summer break now!
Thanks for all of your lovely comments! :)
Jill - so glad you are enjoying our cookbook and that your picky-eating husband likes the food!
L - Yes, this recipe is very easy! Hope you enjoy!
Diane - I thought about trying it with blueberries once they come into season here; another month at least for that! :)
Jennifer L. - Ahh yes, the Cherry Apple Pudding. I haven't made that in a while. My boys sure loved it when I first gave it to them though! What a great "first dessert" huh! Yes, a gluten-free restaurant should be in the works huh, but not by me - I don't have that kind of time! I am happy to donate recipes! :) A cookbook list would be helpful that's a great idea. :)
Yogamama - I think my boys were most thrilled with this. They just can't seem to get enough of it. :)
Alisa - Thanks! :)
Ellen - Oh, I am sure you will enjoy it!
CoconutGal - LOL - yes hiding the container is a good idea with ice cream that can taste as good as this! :)
Melissa - Yes it is Lily holding the bowl with her messy hands full of markers. :) I will see if I can dig up Tom's white nectarine ice cream - it was amazing. I did a peach cashew ice cream a few years ago when we first got our ice cream maker and it was delicious!
Meghan - Yes - summer goodness! :)
Thanks! -Ali :)oops, looks like I forgot to reply to you Shirley:
Yes, Lily does seem to take on the kitchen and its contents in wild abandon! She made a beautiful "raw" dessert last weekend while I was upstairs nursing the boys. It was an oat, honey, chocolate chip, and fruit pie - all in a gorgeous presentation. I can't say it actually tasted good though. I know it will eventually though! CoconutGal's ice cream looks fabulous too! I should have added a link to it here. :)- agentdme99July 5, 2009 at 8:27 AM
Made this yesterday. SUPER YUMMY! My husband and I are so excited to be able to eat ice cream again. YAY! Thanks Ali. I used raspberries instead of strawberries and low-fat coconut milk because that's all I had. Instead of lemon flavoring I added lemon zest. I also threw in some ground flax seeds just because I throw ground flax seeds into pretty much anything I can.
ReplyDelete Great recipe - thank you! I added 1 tablespoon of Chambord the second time I made it made the texture even better.
Any word on the nectarine recipe? I'm wondering if it's the same as this one just subbing nectarines for strawberries, or if the coconut will overwhelm the nectarines. Thanks!We made this tonight, and had to improvise as we only had one can of coconut milk. We used Coconut beverage (like soy milk), we had this on hand as we have 3 of us dairy free. We did use the agave, and I added the seeds from a real vanilla bean as well as dark chocolate chips from Whole Foods. All of us loved it, even those in our family who can eat the "real" stuff! Thanks for a fabulous recipe that is a great base for any type of coconut ice cream we want to make.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds amazing! I will make the ice cream for sure! I stumbled across this searching for a strawberry coconut milk pudding for my daughters. They can't have dairy, soy, or gluten and are starting preschool. They aren't allowed nuts there either.
Do you think I could add some kind of thickener to this and make it like a pudding, yogurty type thing they could eat? Worth a try anyways....YUM!Sarah - you could look at this recipe for my Mango Pudding and then somehow combine the recipes. I am sure it would work.
I use kudzu to thicken and create dairy-free pudding. I have a few recipes in my cookbook for vegan pudding as well, some use cashews though.
Let me know how it turns out. -Ali :)Hi! So I tried it as the strawberry ice cream recipe and used tapioca flour to thicken...this was not good...ended up reusing this conglomeration as a basis for muffins.
Tried again, the ice cream recipe again but used gelatin to thicken it. Was very good and tasted good and passed the daycare test :-)- Monica Y.January 21, 2011 at 6:14 PM
I just made this ice cream and it's absolutely delicious!!!! I didn't have 2 cups of frozen strawberries, but I did have 2 cups of frozen mixed fruit (peaches, mangoes, strawberries, and pineapples). The combination of the coconut milk and the pineapple are the best! Thank you so much for this easy recipe. I will definitely be using it a lot.
ReplyDelete - AnonymousMay 30, 2011 at 10:36 AM
I can't wait to try this recipe. I'm pregnant and allergic to milk and live in the sticks so I don't have access to stores that sell things like coconut ice cream! It's a very unfortunate combination! But this sounds wonderful. I'm kinda new to coconut milk though and limited on options. I can get the Silk coconut milk (it has very recently become available in my area!!) and I can get small cans of coconut milk that has the thick cream on top. What size can did you use? Does the Silk coconut milk work just as well?
ReplyDelete Anon- I have never used silk coconut milk so not sure how it would work. We use the 14.5 ounce cans for this ice cream recipe. I like the brand Native Forest organic coconut milk, but whatever you can find will surely work. The fat at the top of the can is what helps to make the ice cream "creamy."
Enjoy! :)- AnonymousMay 31, 2011 at 3:58 PM
Hi, I'll be attempting to make this yet again soon, but using cherries instead. question for you (since I checked and no one asked): I've read on other sites (and have experienced it) that using light coconut milk will create a less creamy ice cream. But, I am worried about calories per serving when I make this for others. I know coconut milks can be pretty heft. I do understand that the creamier it is the less you'll need of it to satisfy. I don't know that other will be willing to do 1/4 or 1/2 of a cup though, LOL! :)
So my question is have you tried it/would you recommend diluting the full fat coconut milk by even 1/3 with water? Any suggestions you have would be great! - IzzybeezbakingJune 26, 2012 at 6:49 PM
Hi, I was wondering how much granulated sugar and milk you would acutally use in the non dairy and sugar free version of this ice cream. Thanks so much! Btw I made this ice cream and it was amazing!
ReplyDelete - AnonymousAugust 6, 2012 at 8:17 AM
Hi, Ali, I just bought a Vita-Mix and have been searching for ice cream recipes. I have used your recipe in my Cuisinart Ice Cream maker, but am experimenting to see if I could get rid of it. I was wondering if I froze the coconut milk from one of the cans, if I could just make it in the Vita-Mix. That would approximate the 1 part liquid, 3 parts frozen fruit/liquid they suggest. Do you think the ice cream maker makes a superior tasting ice cream? Pam G.
ReplyDelete Hey Ali,
First of all, I love your cookbook! It has literally saved my life/sanity. We have at various times had 3 to 4 different diets going in the house and I've had to make multiple meals for one evening. It was depressing. But your cookbook is usually a safe for everyone and we love everything we've made from it, and that's quite a bit!
My question is about your ice cream though...I've made the mint chocolate chip many times and will be trying this one very soon. It's great right out of the ice cream maker but the next day, it's like a rock...you say to thaw it for 2 hours before serving -- would that be in the fridge? Is there any way to make a servable right out of the freezer ice cream that is made from a coconut base?
And yes, we use canned full fat coconut milk...I've even tried modifying the recipe by using only the cream from one can and discarding the water -- it didn't help though!
Thanks for stopping by The Whole Life Nutrition Kitchen. We appreciate and value your feedback.
If you have a question about a particular recipe please leave your comment under that post. I will answer substitution questions as best as I can. Though if you alter a recipe, your feedback will help other readers who may have similar questions.
If you have a question on a particular product I use in my recipes, then please view the Links to Products We Use post for more information.
Comment moderation is in place. Your comment will be visible once we publish it.
Thanks, and as always, Happy Cooking! Ali & Tom


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Package Deal Part VIII
Written by on October 20, 2005 Sacramento Vintage Ford's Mail Order F-100. Assembling Our Walton Chassis(One Last Time)Fresh from Specialized Coatings, we now had the chassis from the "World's First 100-percent Aftermarket Classic Truck" back in our possession at the Primedia Tech Center. While the Bebop's fiberglass cab, Pro's Pick steel bed, and every other body panel were off at Paint 'n' Place getting prepped for paint (about which you'll be reading very soon), we had the time to reassemble the chassis; this time actually torqing the bolts, bleeding the brakes, etc. The goal here was to have as much done on the chassis as possible so that there would be less work to do when the cab and chassis were finally reunited. We'll have a rolling chassis by the end of this installment, and next month we'll set the Smeding crate 351 and TCI AODE transmission in place, and bolt on all the cool components we got for them, namely the Edelbrock carb, Sanderson headers, Powermaster starter, and especially the cool new Ford serpentine accessory drive from Concept One.


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Share your thoughts
What do you think of the
Louis Garneau Geminix Jacket 2
? Share a...
Here's what others have to say...
Jorge P
Very well made aero jacket
- Familiarity: I've used it several times
I'm 5'8" 160, 31" waist and I've had a medium for over a year and fits well and works as advertised. It's form fit but not tight. This jacket works well at keeping the wind and cold air out throughout to include the neck. I've used it both for cold weather riding and shoveling snow as its fit and fabric is unrestrictive. Suggest layering with simple cotton base layer or warm weather jersey for higher temps, mid 40s-60s, and a wool long sleeve base for lower temps below 40 degrees.
As described by CC site: Recommended Use: layering for brisk rides
Great Value. Nice Details and Quality.
- Gender: Male
- Familiarity: I've used it once or twice and have initial impressions
I just received this jacket 2 days ago and was very pleasantly impressed. Based on the one previous review I felt I was taking a chance, but at the price thought it was worth checking it out. I ordered the large and it fits beautifully. I am 6'2" and weigh 195ibs. The jacket fits well over either a base layer or single jersey. The trim and tailoring is well engineered to be long where necessary but not baggy. There are also nice details such as the silicone grab-band at the waist to prevent the jacket from riding up your back as you ride. Overall from trying it on, inspecting the quality of the workmanship (double stitching where needed, venting placements, etc.) and wearing it for a period of time to assess comfort, I am glad I made the purchase, because at this price the jacket is an absolute bargain. I will see how it preforms during cold weather on the road once the weather chills down.
Kind of a muddle
I bought a large and found the jacket to be odd-fitting -- large was tight across my chest (41"), fitted well on the sleeves (34.5"), but really large in the waist (33"). The Gemenix 2 seems more like a heavy jersey than a jacket and redundant to the Enerblock. Returned the Geminix. Purchased the Enerblock, and found it fit true to LG sizing -- medium was perfect.


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The Drip Stores' 1-1/2" male pipe thread inlet and outlet filters from DIG are available with stainless steel screens.
The filter screens are readily accessible for easy removal and cleaning. This line of filters includes a manual flush cap for easy flushing or removal of particles trapped in the bottom of the filter.
Screen filters are the most common filters used in the irrigation industry and in most cases the least expensive. They are generally used as a backup for any type of drip irrigation installation and are mainly installed where the quality of water is good. Screen filters are excellent for removing hard particulates from water, such as sand and other small elements often found in city water. The screen filters are not suitable for removing organic materials such as algae, mold and slime. These non-solid materials tend to embed themselves into the screen material where they are very difficult to remove. In other cases they simply slide through the holes in the screen by temporarily deforming their shape. Screen filters are cleaned by removing cover and hand cleaning the screen.
Almost any water sources can be made suitable for use in drip irrigation by means of appropriate physical and/or chemical treatment. Physical treatment is the removal of organic suspended solids which are large enough to block the drip emitter outlets. Suspended solids may be removed by means of a separator, screen filter, disk filter, or some combination of the above. Where waters containing substantial solid, such as sand and other small elements without adequate a treatment, clogging will usually take place, leading to uneven water distribution and poor system performance or drip emitters uniformity.Chemical treatment can be an option with the addition of one or more chemicals to the water supply for the purpose of controlling biological growths. In agriculture and in crop production chemical treatment may be used alone or in conjunction with some type of filters. Chemical treatments used in micro irrigation systems include the addition of chlorine and /or acid in very low percentage to the water supply.
The various water quality encountered in operating drip irrigation systems are listed below. In some situations, two or more of these problems may be existing suggesting much complex treatment and procedures may be required.
Source: Toro irrigation, DIG Corp and NDSU
Filtration recommendation:
Flow rates in GPM for 1-1/2" and 2" versus head loss in PSI |
Flow rates |
30 |
44 |
57 |
66 |
70 |
80 |
88 |
Head loss 1-1/2" |
0.8 |
1.8 |
2.4 |
3.5 |
4.5 |
5.6 |
6.5 |
Head loss 2" |
0.4 |
0.9 |
1.2 |
2.1 |
2.3 |
2.7 |
3.4 |


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Top Definition
Trashy, seedy, campy rock n' roll with an often androgynous, drunk/drugged out, and b-movie-obsessed disposition. Many trash rock bands are punks reviving the feel of the raunchiest '60s garage bands. Surf rock, rockabilly, and raw garage rock are usually prime components.
The Cramps are Gods of trash rock. They are not its only "big name", but no trash rock fan will deny them and they are probably the biggEST trash rock name.
作者 CinemateryKyle