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Monday, November 26, 2012 at 3:00 PM
Do or Don't: Kids sharing a bedroom
While househunting in Brooklyn, we've been seeing both two- and three-bedroom places. Needless to say, the two-bedroom spots are much more affordable. But since we're hoping to have two children, if we get a two-bedroom apartment, they'd have to share a room.
What do you think? My sister and I shared a room for a while, and I liked it; but Alex shared a room with his much older brother for a decade and was always dying for his own space. Should each child have a room to call their own, or is it fun to share? Did you share a room growing up? I'd be so grateful for any advice...
P.S. Smart way to divide a room, and nursery in a closet.
(Photo by Meghan McEwan)
308 comments:
1 – 200 of 308 Newer› Newest»- Mary said...
My niece and nephew share a room with no problem these days, but I know it was difficult when he was a baby and she was a toddler. They were constantly waking each other up. I hope to avoid the room-sharing situation when we have a second, at least until the kids are old enough to be on the same sleep schedules.
- Jo Waterhouse said...
I think it'd be fun to share, but as a lone female sibling I always got my own room.
- Chloe Moon said...
I'm an only child but I think it depends on the siblings. Some sisters love each other and it works but then you have some sisters who share a room like in Modern Family and it's a disaster. Same goes for boys...That's a tough question...I don't know what I would do if I had one bedroom then had twins...hmmm...
Ergo - Blog - 3:07 PM
- Ellie said...
My younger brother and I didn't share a room, pretty much simply because we're opposite sexes. I would think since you're not sure if Toby's younger sibling will be a boy or girl, you kind of need to stick to separate bedrooms. Plus, I agree with Mary that an infant and toddler in one room sounds like a nightmare.
- Jamy of Fourth Street said...
I say do. My sister and I shared a room until she entered high school (she's three years older than I)--and now I wouldn't trade those years for the world. There were so many nights we stayed up talking, planning, sharing and laughing. And of course, dividing our sides of the room with duct tape. It was all very well worth the memories. xo.
- Kerri Lynne said...
I think the biggest concern for me if I were in your shoes would be not knowing if you were to have another little guy or if it would be a girl next time around. I think it's tough to share a room with a sibling of the opposite sex... also, how long would this be for? Are you renting or buying? All these little things sort of factor into the equation. I think all kids, eventually, need their own space though!
- Sarah said...
My two boys (3 and 2.5 yrs) adore sharing a room. They still ask EVERY night if they get to be with each other! They fight like cats in a bag during the day, but they have the silliest, sweetest conversations at night and have really helped each other stay in bed in the morning (they're both such early risers). We definitely, definitely recommend it. They started sharing about 6-7 months ago.
- Sandra said...
I have four sisters (wowza I know!), and while growing up we were split in two rooms. Even though I might've dreaded every minute of it, and I couldn't wait to get my own space, I also think that it was a HUGE character builder. You learn how to share, compromise and work out your differences from a very young age. Siblings will most likely fight on anything, not only if they're sharing a room. But by sharing a room, you also open up the opportunity of late night chats and checking up on each other in the case of nightmares and things like that.
I would say a definite do!
- Magdalena's Madrid said...
I think it all comes down to how long you want to stay in your future home. If we're talking the next 15 years, then if you can, splurge for the 3rd bedroom. Kids are going to want privacy in their teen years, especially if you end up having a girl as your second child.
If this is going to be your home for the next five years, then I'd say sharing for that amount of time would be totally doable for two young kids.
Good luck with the house hunting, it's so fun to follow along! - 3:19 PM
- Looc said...
Did you happen to see the Oprah interview with Ralph Lauren and his family? They all spoke about how at one point in their young lives each of the children had to share a room - and they pride themselves on that simple things like (also dinners together) that kept their family close and grounded. It was a great interview that made me not only consider having my children share a room, but make it sort of a rule. :)
- Kim said...
i shared a room with my sister until we were 14 and though we definitely fought about it on occasion, looking back it was so much fun and we had soo many weird rituals that we still laugh back on (like "fighting" over who was closer to the light switch--including counting the steps and being stubborn enough to not turn off even if you were up already). I think as a kid its fun, and if its only for 5 or 6 years totally doable.
- Liz said...
My brother and I had our own rooms, but when we were young (we're only 16 months apart in age) we insisted on sharing a room and having sleep overs in eachother's rooms most nights. I don't think whether or not kids share a room matters so much until kids are older.
- Cherri Porter said...
Sharing when they're young is good. It creates a healthy appreciation for privacy when they're older. I say share.
- Bird said...
I believe it very much depends on the siblings. My sister K and I naturally did not get along and have to this day very different ways we like to keep our environment. I couldn't wait to have a seperate room from her. When my other sister C moved back home I got to decide who shared my room and hands down chose sister C and LOVED sharing with her.
- Melissa Blake said...
Great topic! Growing up, my sister and I shared a room and we never minded -- i think it's another great way for siblings to bond. The only downside is that we did occasionally fight about what went on the wall -- lol...we had pretty different tastes! :)
- Kit said...
My sister and i shared a room for a short time when we were in elementary school and fought like crazy. i think if we had had to stick it out though, it would have made us closer in the end. :) we're close now but we live very far apart. i wouldn't mind sharing a room with her again right about now. maybe it's just the holidays making me feel nostalgic. i get to see her so soon!
- Salem said...
I shared a room with my brother until I was about 6 and he was 5 with no problems. I also have 1yr old boy/girl twins who share a room. I think for the most part kids are pretty resilient and if you do something from a young age it would be just normal to them.
- stephanie said...
I shared a room with my little sister for a few years when we were both young. We HATED it. She was two years younger than me and we fought all the time. It wasn't until we were late teens that we became the best friends that we are today. But I have also heard stories of siblings the same age apart sharing and loving it, so I really think it depends on your kids and your parenting style. (Terrible advice :)
- Robin Kelly said...
We have 3 kids and 4 bedrooms and guess what - they always beg to have "sleepovers" on non-school nights! This summer my two younger kids (boy and girl, 11 and 9) opted to share a room and leave the "extra" room as a shared play/tv room for kids only. It's working out marvelously well. Happy househunting!
- Shai Smith said...
My kids 'share' a room and they're 8 and 20 months. The oldest is a girl and the youngest is a boy. It was the eldest's idea. The toddler has a bed in my room, but he prefers crashing on the bottom bunk with his big sissy. She was actually the reason we decided to have another one, and they're inseparable. When she gets older, they'll have separate rooms, but for now it's fine.
- kaitlin said...
I think as long as there's adequate space in the house (or outside) for them to seek solace from one another that sharing a room is completely normal and an entirely good idea.
As an aside, have you done a tour of the Lower East Side Tenement Museum? The 2-room tenements would sometimes house a dozen family members!!! - 3:24 PM
- Lydia Louw said...
it is fun to share a room, (my sister and I shared a while because she was afraid to sleep alone and a couple of years later we shared the attic) But there comes a time when they kind of need a place for their own. There are also a lot of solutions to achieve that in one room.
So if the room is large enough to have two kids playing and sleeping, making homework later; there is a lot possible.
- I guess a baby can't sleep in the same room as a toddler, maybe you should stick to rooming in for a year.. - 3:25 PM
- Anna Woodward said...
I never shared a room, so I can't comment much on that from experience, but I always loved having my own space. I would often sneak into my sisters room at night to have "sleepovers" but it was great to have my own space to retreat to. Even as a kid, alone time was always good for me to relax and replenish. I also loved having a space where I could arrange my toys how I wanted, conduct teddy bear school, decorate it how I wanted (with parental consent, of course).
I do see the perspective that it teaches kids to share and get along. - 3:25 PM
- jessica weliwitigoda said...
I'm very pro-sharing in theory, but we have a two bedroom condo and two girls and they don't sleep! They wake one another up - tag teaming it. My five year-old gets up to use the bathroom and my 1.5 year-old wakes. The baby calls out at night (still asleep!) and wakes her sister. We will be in a two bedroom for a few years so we've taken to putting one in our bed at night. I hope that once they are a bit older we can get bunk beds and have them actually SLEEP in one room.
- lil' brown girl said...
I think sharing a room teaches kids so many things. My sister and I shared a room for many years and I have some really fond memories. My cousins (a boy and girl) shared a room through high school and they had the same issues as me and my sister. So if you get a two bedroom and have a boy and a girl - I really don't think it's a biggie. I think the boy/girl thing needing two rooms is an US thing.
Plus having your own room is great incentive to get your own place one day and not return to Mom & Dad's.
- Jillian said...
I actually shared a room with my two (!) older brothers when I was little for quite awhile, and it was okay. I remember some squabbles but nothing major. My oldest brother was so sweet and would come sleep in my part of the room when I had a scary dream or thought I saw a spider, even though he was terrified of spiders too. The room was enormous and architecturally interesting so we all had our own areas, albeit with no closed doors. After age nine we moved and I've never shared a room since then. Overall, I think I preferred having my own space, but I'm happy I got to experience sweet moments of sharing.
- Mallory Recor said...
I grew up in a divorced family and at my dad's house, there were 5 of us - which means my sister and I shared a room there. I had my own room at my mom's house. At the time, it was sometimes hard to share a room, but looking back on the memories my sister and I have from my dad's - I wouldn't change those for the world. I say go for the two bedroom if you find one you love.
My sister is my best friend now too :) - 3:27 PM
- simone antoniazzi said...
I think separate rooms are preferable....if you have boys close in age then sharing would probably work but I can't think of many - if any - friends where the siblings really enjoy it. And the older they get, the more tricky it is - particularly if they're different sexes.
I have a 4.5 yr age gap between my children so sharing would not have been possible at any point really....they've always had slightly different bedtimes and I loved having a nursery (albeit a small one) and another bedroom for my older child.
Hope you are making progress with the house-hunting!
- jane m. said...
Total thumbs up. I'm not ashamed to say I've been sharing a room with my sister from the ages of 10 to 24. I'm 24 now, and we share a room. I had four years of independence when I moved away for university, and as does she now (she's in her 4th year). She is four years my junior. We have had our fights and arguments, but I truly believe sharing a room has made us closer, and nothing else would have made this much positive impact on our relationship.
Also sharing the house are my grandparents and my mother (and occasionally my father when he isn't working overseas). It's a crowded house, but we still enjoy each other's company and have dinner together almost nightly. Privacy gets to be a concern, but we respect each other's spaces and appreciate each other's needs. It's a beautiful thing! - 3:27 PM
- Barefoot Golightly said...
I wouldn't do it if I were you. Or, I would get a three bedroom and try putting them in the same room and see how it works out. I put my two in the same room and they kept each other awake. Or woke one another up in the middle of the night. We eventually had to move them. On the other hand, my good friend has three boys. The 10 and 7 year old sleep in the same room and the five year old sleeps with them.
It's not for us though. - 3:28 PM
- Andrea Carol said...
I shared a room with my sister for five years. It was awesome because I never had to clean my room [I compplained while she cleaned like a good little child], and we played bridges all day everyday [Walking across eachothers backs from my bed to hers, she was always the bridge]
She also does not remember it being quite as awesome as I do. I have no idea why.. - 3:29 PM
- Emily said...
To Kaitlin's comments about the Tenements - not so long ago this wouldn't even have been a discussion. Kids shared rooms because you may not have been able to afford a big enough house for them not to. I'd say now a days it is a luxury we can afford, but the discussion seems silly to me. People have (and still do!) shared rooms for ages and ages.
- Rachel said...
I shared a room with my younger sister until I was about thirteen or fourteen. While it was occasionally frustrating, it was nice to have someone else in the room during the scary dark night. We both felt safer just because we weren't alone.
- natalienoods said...
I shared a room when my little sister was born, so from age 3.5 until we moved when I was 8. I remember being SO EXCITED for my own room, because all my favorite book characters had their own space. We also shared a bed, so that might have contributed to it. When I went to college, during our first hall meeting the RA asked how many of us had ever shared a room before and I was one of two girls who put up their hands, which I thought was really interesting. I think for the most part, sharing works when they are little, but once you get to around 10-11-12, it's nice to give a kid their own space.
- Hope said...
I shared a room until I was 15 with my younger sister who is 5 years older than me. I hated it!
But if I have kids that are the same gender I was make them share a room for a while - that way if there is a fire or something we can get to both of them easily.
We have a narrow row house, and our bedroom is on the second floor and there is a guest bedroom on the same floor as us, so if we had two kids and they didn't share, one of the kids would be on the third floor alone. I think that's kind of a safety issue and would be scary for littles (and I don't want to sleep up there, either). - 3:30 PM
- Jillian said...
oh, and advice wise: If you are looking at places to buy, or invest a serious chunk of the budget in, I think you may want to spring for the 3 bedroom. Since no one can be sure exactly how family dynamics will look in 10 years, it might happen that you end up with two preteens who want their own space, or maybe even three kiddos. If you still want your kids to share when they are little, you could have the 3rd bedroom as an office. :)
- Sarah @ Two Blue Lemons said...
You read my mind!
We're debating the same issue. I always had my own room growing up but like the romantic side of siblings sharing a room. Am I crazy? - 3:31 PM
- Julia said...
I shared a room as a kid. When we moved to a new house once, my parents told us we'd have to keep sharing the room but, to sweeten the deal, the bedroom had two walk-in closets for us to make into our own spaces. The closets were freezing, with tiny sloped ceilings and paint that chipped, so we spent very little time in them but the gesture was nice! When I got my own too-small-to-be-a-legal-bedroom in 6th grade it was definitely a good move, but I have many good memories of my sister and I in our bunkbed, sharing stories and singing songs and fighting over who got the top bunk.
- Erica C. said...
My sister (3 years younger) and I always wanted to share a room growing up. We begged my parents to have a baby brother so we could move into the same room and have bunk beds. It never happened, though, and they never forced the issue since we lived in a house with enough rooms for everyone. I think as a teenager it was great to have my own space, but when I was younger I'm sure sharing would've been a blast. I think it also might depend on the sex of the children, as I've heard stories about brothers and sisters hating that they had to share a room.
- Alyssa Gapske said...
I would consider a three bedroom. I think some people have wonderful experiences sharing a room, and other people have terrible experiences. I think it depends on the age difference, their genders and their relationship...much of which is out of your control!
I'm sure once they become teenagers, they'll most likely want their own bedrooms though.
Three bedroom is your best bet for your sanity and theirs! - 3:32 PM
- Monique said...
I think it's good to share! It'll prepare kids for the dorms later on. haha. My sister and i shared a room and boy did we have fun. Our twin bed were on either side of the room but we would push them together like the one in the pic so that we could be close to each other and build forts and tell stories. It was the best.
- Meadow said...
I think it's fine until they reach the age where they do want separate bedrooms. Usually it will be the older child, and then the younger child may feel a bit slighted. I think it can be done and is great for sibling bonding, but you can't force it to go on longer than it naturally should. If both kids are happy then great, but if not, other arrangements should be made if possible.
- Brittany said...
Do when they're little, don't once one hits puberty. I think it's a great way for kids to learn about sharing and build memories with one another, but I also know that as a preteen and teen I NEEDED my own space away from my family where I could just be alone with my thoughts! I was relatively introverted at that age, so it could have just been me, but I can't imagine not having had a room of my own with a door I could shut from about age 14 onward. My sister and I are super close now--I don't think us having our own rooms affected that in any way.
Actually, I think that alone space is as important for spouses as for growing kids. I'd love to see a post on which partner controls which spaces in the home! My husband and I are constantly trying to balance this in our tiny apartment. - 3:33 PM
- CAROLIN. said...
Toby and a baby? Sorry but I do not think it would work.
It is fun for a little time, but as in Alex' case it becomes a nightmare when you need to share your room for years.
If you really buy a house, this will not be a solution for limited time, so invest in a third bedroom, please, because I know how terrible it can be! - 3:34 PM
- Samantha said...
My younger sister (by 4 years) and I shared a room for a long time, and we loved it. She would climb into bed with me if she was scared or just needed someone to cuddle with. When I was 11 we moved into a larger house and we each got our own rooms, which by that time was very welcome. I loved having my own room when I was an adolescent/ teenager. I think it works both ways.
- Beth said...
I shared with my sister for several years and enjoyed it for the most part. I had my own room when I was in my teens, which is when I assume it would be harder.
Living in Brooklyn with a toddler boy (and another on the way), we won't have a choice and they will have to share a room, no matter the gender. I think it really depends on what you can afford and if you are looking to rent/buy! - 3:37 PM
- Anne Marie said...
My 2 older brothers shared a room and I always had my own since I was the only girl. They loved sharing when they were younger and I even used to camp out on the floor of their room sometimes :) . They were always building forts out of the bunk beds and plotting their mischief together in that room. BUT once they hit puberty it got stressful... they would fight all the time and really hated having to share. Sometimes there isn't a choice, but if possible I think it is great to have separate rooms once kids get old enough to really want their own space.
- Beth said...
Also remember reading this article in Apartment Therapy on the topic.
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/do-shared-toddlerbaby-rooms-really-work-good-questions-174493 - 3:38 PM
- jenniferruiz said...
I shared with my older brother growing up (four years older) and I think it was great. He may have been annoyed with me being the younger sister and all but we would always have fun building forts and talking at night and i always felt safer with him there. I think it made us closer. We ending up moving houses again before he entered middle school and that time we got our own rooms. I think its a good lesson in sharing as a child and will help them learn to share spaces as they get older (think college dorms...)
So I say go for it! It will bring them closer together, and then as your family grows maybe in ten years or so when your kids get older and start wanting privacy, you look into a bigger place. But i still look fondly on our tiny house and tiny room I shared with my brother, it was some of my best memories!
- theshellhammer said...
Hmm, this hits home. I shared a room with one of my sisters until our other sister moved to college. We were both in high school at that point. I know Miken acted like she could not wait to move to the room next door but secretly she was going to miss me. She tells me all the time now. We had many fights (mostly because she was an OCD neat freak and I was a slob) but honestly, we were best friends. All of my siblings are close (1 boy, 3 sisters and I'm the youngest) but Miken and I share a special bond and so many secrets. Those memories can never be compared to another companion in life. Worth sharing.
Toby would be such a good sharer! Best of luck!
--Alex - 3:39 PM
- hannah joy said...
I turned 17 before I got my own bedroom. Growing up, I always wanted my own space to decorate - plus I was a perfectionist and wanted everything clean, and they were slobs. ;) But honestly, looking back I cherish fond memories of late night conversations, and the teamwork principles I learned from those years.
- Sarah said...
I shared with my older sister until I was in 5th grade. We played together happily and despised each other just as often. Needless to say that to this day my sister and I are best friends. I have three other siblings besides her and I am the closest with her out of all of them. We plan on moving in together once our husbands die :)
- kelly said...
my sister and i shared a room for 12 years, had our own rooms for 10, and now have an apartment together and are sharing a room again. all the phases were fun and full of memories. i think whichever way you go will work out just fine.
- mary said...
i think that what you can afford financially should be the priority in this matter. sure, kids don't always love sharing a room, but perhaps the saved money will give you more room in other areas of your life! when your kids are older, they will appreciate what you did to save money for their education, or their first car, or simply what you did to provide for them financially. i have always respected that about my family. sharing a room is a passing discomfort (if a discomfort at all!). of course, if you can afford a 3 bedroom place, the added space would be awesome. It would give you the opportunity to use it as guest room or office space if you wanted your kids to share a room for a while. : )
- Heather.Joy said...
I have two older sisters. My middle sister and I shared a room until our oldest sister went to college, and we swapped spaces around. I enjoyed having my own room in high school, but when I was younger I loved living with my sister. So many fun shenanigans.
- Jeneric Generation said...
I went off and on between sharing with a sister and having my own bedroom, until I was fourteen and had my own room from then on out. When I was little, I shared with one sister, and at one point, all three of us shared a room! Some of my fondest memories are of those late night chats with the lights out, falling asleep together. I did love having my own room when I was older, though.
- *** KITSCH *** said...
Of course, sharing!
I shared a room with my sister for years, and i love the moment we went to bed and start talking... never again those moments! - 3:47 PM
- Mary said...
I shared a room my entire life, and finally got my own room in my first house when I was 21!
I find that kids who share rooms are better adjusted and better at conflict resolution than those who had their own rooms.
Plus, they'll have to share a room in college, so teaching them to be good roommates when they are young is better for all involved.
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- Nicole Marie said...
i think it's diffocult to share if it's opposite sex. same sex, close in age is probably so fun!
- Caitlin said...
definitely share. I always did, and I never longed for my own space. My two kids share a room - a girl and a boy, even though we have a three bedroom place. They keep each other company, and the older one sleeps through all the baby crying, no problem.
- Sea said...
I think if the kids are close in age that sharing a bedroom is the best option!
- Katie said...
I agree with above commenters that it TOTALLY builds character. I shared with each of my younger sisters at different points, and while I would have died for some alone space, I really think it helped shape me into who I am. Sharing a room teaches patience, communication, tolerance, etc. My fiance is an only child and sometimes it really shows(!!)-- I wonder how his personality would change were he to have a sibling.
- Unknown said...
We live in a 2 and a half bedroom apartment with a 4,5 year old boy and an almost 2 year old girl. They currently share the half room as a bedroom and love it. They only very seldom wake each other up during the night, but they both love sleeping next to each other. We use the bigger room as a play room, because they usually end up playing close to each other anyway. I think it is important for school kids to have a separate quiet space to do homework or to read away from their younger siblings, but that could also be some desk in the living room or bedroom. Also we make sure both kids have their separate cupboards and the eldest has some shelfs out of his sisters reach to secure his lego and other treasures. But I think because they are boy and girl they are going to have separate rooms at some point, also if they should have very different personalities and interests.
- LMN said...
I have mixed feelings about this one. I shared a room with my brother (five years my junior) until I left for college due to lack of a third bedroom in our NYC apartment. The opposite gender thing was never an issue for us, as we generally had different schedules and had other places in the apartment to get ready for school, etc. And it never prevented lots of friends from coming over to hang out at my house (due in part to my mother's wonderful cooking, I'm sure!).
But it became a problem, and a little embarrassing frankly, when I was older. We both went to a very rigorous school, and I often had to stay up quite late to finish homework or studying, which meant my brother was booted out into the living room to sleep or else I couldn't work in my own room. Same went for sleepovers, although my brother was truly a sport about it and usually cleared out when my friends wanted to stay over.
Sharing a room also meant that once I left for college, I didn't really have a place to stay when I came back, as our room had (understandably) been turned into my brother's own room. When my boyfriend and I lost power during Hurricane Sandy, we slept on my parents' couch! Obviously we were lucky to have a place to stay in the first place, but if you anticipate staying in your new place for the long haul, these thins are worth considering.
I know that picking up and moving (again) in the New York real estate market is not easy, so I just wanted to give you some perspective on the long-term. - 3:54 PM
- Brandilyn said...
i shared a room with my older sister, who's just a couple years older than me, for a while and it worked well. however, when my family adopted my youngest sister, we shared a room and it didn't work quite as well. i think it was because of the huge gap in age between us--9 years. if they're close in age, i think it works better. i guess what i'm saying is...you should definitely have another baby ASAP ;)
- Jennifer F. said...
Share! I shared a bedroom with my twin sister until middle school and it was the best. It taught me how to live with another person and how to compromise, which benefited me when I went away to college. Once they hit the teenage years, they are going to want privacy and you'll probably want them to have their own space then. But that's years off.
- Gennéa @ Towers Holdings said...
I shared a room with my younger brother (2 yrs younger) from the time he was born until I was 6. As opposite sexes we were separated when I went to 1st grade. When I become a parent, I plan to do that with my children. Once the oldest hits 5 years old then I will separate them. If they are the same gender, I might keep them sharing until the oldest is 8, but no more than that. If I had 3 children (god forbid) I would switch out the oldest as a single then keep the younger two sharing under the same circumstances.
My husband comes from a family where no one shares anything! (Not food, tv, toys, etc) so he doesn't get it. I think it is important to help children respect others and their space. In college they will have to share a dorm room again - now THAT was FUN!!! - 3:57 PM
- KaTT said...
I (girl) shared with my younger sister since the day she was born for 16 years (I was 18 then) when we got our own rooms. We lived in a huge but very old apartment in Budapest where the rooms were spacious but the layout was sadly unchangeable (later we got the extra room by collectively demolishing the back staircase - that was used by the servants 100+ years ago). The room housed 2 bookshelves, 2 desks, 2 wardrobes, a pianino and a bunk bed plus at least 8 sq m space in the middle to play. Of course we had our fights, but 99% of the time we absolutely loved it. Staying up and singing songs at night, throwing toys into each other's bunk beds instead of sleeping, building enormous LEGO cities... I think sharing a room made us become so absolutely fond of each other, helped us to have a bond which is stronger than anything. I am absolutely PRO room sharing.
- annie said...
Personally, I think if theres not too big of an age difference, its great to share a room. My brother, 3 years younger, and i shared a room until i was 6 or 7 and it was so fun. However sharing a room with my sister, 6 years younger, was not fun. Once the kids are older I think an only bedroom is an awesome privilege. We all loved decorating our own rooms and having each other "over".
- this new(man) life said...
I shared a room with my brother when my sister was born, because she got the nursery. We loved it - we had bunk-beds, we used to wake up in the middle of the night and play with his legos and my barbies. And, we told each other stories at night. (I can still remember us going FEE FI FO FUM like the giant from Jack and the beanstalk.) When my sister turned 5, my parents moved to a house where we all had our own room, but it was mostly because they only had 1 bathroom in the house and needed another. After we moved, we all still played together. I think it was fun! I don't think you can go wrong either way, so long as there is a shared place for them to play so they always cultivate the bond of siblings!
- stephanie said...
I shared the room with my sister until I was 12 and she was 9... and we both loved it! We used to play together, shared stories at night, even make secret late parties when my parent thought we were sleeping and they were watching a movie. I used to read books for her, we song together, we had bunk beds played the role that we were friends sharing our own apartment haha... so much fun!
My best friend has two kids, boys, and they also love to share the room - they have one room to sleep, and another to play.
I am sorry because of my English (I am Spanish), but I wanted to tell you that it doesn't have to be a problem sharing a room. For me and my sister it was the best! - 4:01 PM
- rachel kirk peterson said...
i hated sharing with my sister (only 14 months apart!) but i think it taught us both very valuable lessons in sharing and being considerate of each other's time, space, sleep etc.
- Rachel Baik said...
I have three siblings-- two sisters and one brother. I've shared a room with each one of them throughout my entire life. In college I'm still sharing a room. There were plenty of times that I wished I had my own space and privacy but having lived with and met so many different people, I've realized that sharing a room has grown me so much as a person. It really teaches you patience, tolerance, communication skills, and to a degree selflessness.
I'd say let them share! Yeah they'll fight and tussle now and then (that's what having a sibling is partly about) but in the end, they'll be so much closer and grow all the more because of it. - 4:02 PM
- emkat28 said...
My sister and I shared a room when I was very young, until my parents finished their basement and made a bedroom down there for her (she is 11 years older). While I don't really remember this part of my life, I do think it's great for siblings to share a room if the age gap isn't too big.
- Elizabethwi said...
I have a 3 year old girl and a 1 year old boy who currently share a room, with another (gender unknown) on the way- when the third gets here, they will ALL share a room, Peter Pan style. The new baby will be in our room until he/she is sleeping through the night, but then they will all be together. This is the plan until my daughter needs more privacy, somewhere in the tween range.
- rlevasse said...
Like many others have posted, I agree that the thought of having an infant and a toddler on different sleep schedules in the same room sounds like a nightmare and might cause you way too much stress. Because separate bedrooms is an option for you, I say go for it 100%, I highly doubt you'll ever come to regret your decision.
- lauravaughn said...
Your smiley face just made me laugh out loud in my office! How morbid!
- Shannon said...
I shared a room with my sister and loved it. For awhile I had my own bedroom, and I didn't sleep very well until she moved in. I was very scared of the dark and having her there made it so much better.
I have a 2.5 yr old boy and a 5 month old girl and we plan for them to share for awhile. There is nothing wrong with a boy and a girl sharing a room when they are under the age of 10. I think by sharing a room kids learn a lot of important lessons. Currently our baby is in the room with us, but we planned on that. Once she hits one we'll move her crib into big brothers room. One day they may want their own space, but that is 8 to 10 years away, and we'll evaluate that when we get there. - 4:11 PM
- emily said...
I think this is a tricky one. It completely depends on the age difference between siblings and genders. I am 6 years older than my brother and we hated sharing a room especially once I was in high school, but we also lived with my cousins for a while and I loved sharing a room with my girl cousin who was a lot closer in age to me and my brother loved sharing a room with our boy cousin who was closer to his age. Sharing a room was great when we were little but as soon as we became teenagers we started to fight more and needed some space. We even resorted to putting a big line of duct tape down the middle of our room at one point.
- Little Hiccups said...
I've actually just been writing a blog post about this exact same thing! A year ago we moved from a large house in Australia where my two daughters (now 5 1/2 years and 2 years old) had their own bedrooms to San Francisco where the monthly rent for a three bedroom apartment is enough to bring on a heart attack! Needless to say we had to downgrade our living space a *little* and our daughters have been sharing a bedroom. I was a little worried how they would cope with sharing but we haven't had any problems. In fact my older daughter was really excited about sharing a room. A year down the track and she's still excited to be sharing with her little sister, especially now that she's a little older and they can play together.
Initially I was worried that my older daughter would be woken during the night by her little sister crying but luckily she's a really deep sleeper and doesn't seem to hear it. As time has gone by my younger daughter wakes less often during the night and now that she is no longer in her crib she tends to just come straight into our room rather than crying anyway.
I must admit though that this is not a living arrangement that I plan on keeping for too long. While the girls are young it's fine but I know from my own experience of sharing a room with my little sister that once kids reach their teenage years (or earlier) privacy becomes more important. I remember hating that I couldn't play music or read a book in my room at night as the noise or light would keep my sister awake. My little sister is 8 years younger than me so her bedtime was a few hours earlier than mine. It also didn't help that my Mum decorated our bedroom to suit a very young girl. Curtains and bedspreads with little girls in Victorian dress blowing bubbles just don't cut it when you're a teenager! My girls are much closer in age so I think these issues will be less of a problem but I still don't think that sharing when they're older is ideal.
If I was looking to buy a house rather than renting I'd go for something bigger (if you can afford it) to make it a little future proof. Or maybe a two bedroom place with room to add on? Of course, if you're planning on buying something to live in shorter term and then move up to something bigger down the track then I think that 2 bedrooms would be fine. - 4:14 PM
- Justine said...
I shared a room with my younger sister until we were 13 & 11, and I'm so glad we did. Some of my favorite childhood memories are of staying up late with her, giggling and telling stories, reading together, etc. We're now 24 & 22 and we still sleep in the same room together when we're home at the same time. My younger sister and brother also shared until they were 11 & 9, and they felt the same way. It was such a good way to bond and I think it taught us a lot about sharing space and working with others.
- Shelley said...
I shared a room with my brother until I was 3 and he was 6. We had so much fun together but keep in mind that it takes much longer to get to sleep this way! We would come up with all sorts of plans and laugh and kick each other's bunks and escape our room. When one of us would be falling asleep we'd wake each other and go bother my mom for carrots (I know a weird bedtime snack) or tell scary stories. Just some silly/annoying things to keep in mind! It might warm your heart to see your kids having fun, but you may get a bit less sleep.
- Beth E. said...
I have no issue with the idea of little ones of the same sex sharing the same room but I know that a lot of girls are very private and would not be okay with having their brother in their room with them. I would not have been okay with sharing a room. I had a hard enough time doing that during vacations. One of my good friends bought an apartment this past summer with two bedrooms and two bathrooms but they chose one with a very large master bedroom. All it took was a little reno to put a wall down the middle of the master and add another door. Then they had two decent sized rooms for their kids. It looks great.
- RachRizz said...
My sister and I shared a room until we were 10 and 12, but I think until we were early teenagers we would have been alright with that. I know a family with three kids that all share a room (two girls aged 8 and 6, 1 boy aged 3) and it works fine for them. My sister and I didn't mind sharing at all but did appreciate having our own space once we were teenagers. I agree with other commenters that sharing a room will probably help your kids be closer and teach them lessons in dealing with others -- plus you've got a while before their teenagers! :)
- Rachael said...
My kids share rooms off and on and it seems to help them through rough sleeping patches. They enjoy the companionship.
www.myolsonfamily.blogspot.com - 4:18 PM
- Tracy and Tom said...
My sister (3 years younger) and I shared a room from when I was 5 to about 16. We argued like crazy, but we also had a lot of fun. We often split the room down the middle, but we also played lots, chatted the night away, made forts on our bunk bed, and I think it really builds character. Also, we had a decent walk-in closet that we shared for clothes, but when I was a pre-teen my parents let me make that into my own little place to hang out - I decorated the walls and moved in a comfy blow-up chair (remember those??) and somehow my sister respected it as my space. I think that helped a lot as a young teenager who lived with a little sister. When I finally got my own room, I thought it would be amazing but I think I actually missed sharing with my sister. :)
- Samantha H. said...
I'd say it depends on how long you're planing to stay in you futute home. As soon as kids start developing (ages nine and twelve, for girls and boys repectively), they should have their own space.
I shared a room with my brother until I was thirteen and he was eight. Most of the time, we couldn't stand it. The ideal thing would have been to have separate rooms as soon as I was nine or so and started developing, but that was the only option we had. Now I'm nineteen and I'm so happy to have my own space. Don't know how much the fact that I shared a room with my brother affected my privacy, but I'm a very private person now and I really enjoy my alone time. - 4:19 PM
- Sally said...
We have a girl and boy who are 18 months apart. We had hoped they could share a room for a time but the older child had a lot of difficulty getting to sleep at night (this went on until she was 8 or so) and the younger one ALWAYS loved going to bed at night and slept beautifully for 10 hours at night. So he ended up sleeping in our bedroom in his own bed until he was 2 when we moved into a larger home. At that point, both children had their own rooms. Later, at around ages 6 and 7, they thought the idea of sharing a room was the worst idea next to eating brussels sprouts. So, I guess it all depends on what sort of sleepers you have. If you can only find a two-bedroom place, perhaps you might have an alcove or closet like your friend for a tiny nursery. Then when your younger is a bit older, you might be able to ease into the room-sharing idea. I think it could certainly work well and be memorable--and even comforting--for some children, but it depends on temperament. Our son--now 11--often wishes for a brother so he could have a bunk bed! Honestly, though, do what works for your budget. Families the world over sleep in one room, and you know people are amazingly adaptable to whatever situation exists in individual homes. I grew up with three brothers, so always had my own room. But two of them usually shared and I was always just a little envious.
- Samantha H. said...
I meant your future home* sorry:)
- Katie T said...
I have two younger sisters and both shared a room and had my own room for different periods of our childhood . I love both of my sisters dearly, but my middle sister and I had a horrible, horrible time sharing a room. We have totally opposite sleep styles and we'd end up fighting over light, noise, etc on an almost daily basis. What ended up working decently well was me sharing a room with my youngest sister and our middle sister getting her own room since she was a more picky sleeper. But the times when all three of us shared were kind of a disaster in terms of actually getting good sleep!
- Alice said...
I shared a room with my older brother (we're 5 years apart)and we loved it. We would stay up all night talking and whenever I was scared, I always felt protected knowing I was safe and sound with him in the room. We're incredibly close because of it, and it wasn't strange for us at all (I shared a room with him from the minute I was born until I was 12 and he was 17).
- take the Ellievator said...
My family moved a lot when I was a child so I shared with my sister (who is 18 months younger) off and on for our entire childhood, depending on the house. We are as different as night and day so sharing was never easy but I agree with the other comments that say it was a necessary in helping to build our character. Obviously that argument doesn't hold much water with two sisters who argued a lot but we both learned how to be less selfish and it was extremely helpful preparation for college and even (my sister's) marriage.
My two younger brothers are 12 years apart and they actually got along BETTER while sharing a room for a couple of years, funny how that works! :) - 4:20 PM
- Bea said...
Thumbs up! My sister and I shared a room until we were about 13 and I loved it. Having our own rooms when we were older was important but as little girls we spent hours playing on our bunk beds, putting on ballet performances, talking about boys - and the best part? I didn't have to be scared of monsters with someone there to protect me.
- Elisabeth said...
I have two sisters and a brother; growing up we had a girls' room and a boys' room. Although there were times when I absolutely hated sharing a room, I think it shaped who I am today in positive ways. Now, the three of us girls were fairly close in age (2 1/2 years between each), and I don't know how sharing would work if you were more spread out, or if you had a girl and a boy, but that combination worked for us.
The one caveat, I think, should be that once you hit high school, there is the option of having your own room. As we got older and matured into different people some things got harder. My sister is cluttered and messy, while I am a neat freak... I like things to be decorated, while she likes each thing to have special meaning, without giving account to appearance. Anyway... when we got to high school, I got my own room, then my family moved and both my sisters had their own room.
But I still treasure those memories! And honestly... in my 28 years of life, I've only had my own room for about 5 of them. I still like sharing, if I have the choice. - 4:22 PM
- - L said...
I totally agree. It's not always great, but it teaches you how to share, compromise, and absolutely builds a deeper relationship with your sibling!
- RachRizz said...
My sister and I shared a room until we were 10 and 12, but I think until we were early teenagers we would have been alright with that. I know a family with three kids that all share a room (two girls aged 8 and 6, 1 boy aged 3) and it works fine for them. My sister and I didn't mind sharing at all but did appreciate having our own space once we were teenagers. I agree with other commenters that sharing a room will probably help your kids be closer and teach them lessons in dealing with others -- plus you've got a while before their teenagers! :)
- Jen said...
I think it depends on sex/gender and how far apart they are in age. My sister and I are six years apart, and a 10 yr old and 16 yr old sharing a room probably wouldn't have been great... but who knows, maybe I'd be looking back on it fondly now!
I will chime in that it depends on the kids. My mom and her sister shared a room, and it was miserable largely because my aunt had (has) emotional/psychological issues. They should have split them up (they should have done a lot of things, but they were on a rural-ish farm in the 1950's).
My grandma was one of a lot of children (8+), and was the only girl of the few youngest and shared a bedroom for awhile with her two brothers - she had to sleep in the middle to keep them from fighting! When she got older she was the only girl still at home and was the only child to ever get her own room =) though I think she sometimes shared with her favorite grandma who visited occasionally. There's no right answer for this... your kids will be ok regardless.
There's always the good ol' office partition too. =) =) - 4:24 PM
- Amie L. said...
I never shared with my older sister but always wanted to. We got in trouble for fighting once and our 'punishment' was to share a room for 3 months and I was in heaven. We have a boy and girl (1 and 3) and they share a room- which I think is great- though probably will have to change come puberty.
- cheri11 said...
I enjoyed sharing my room with my sister when we were kids. We had so much fun. Thankfully though, we received our own bedrooms when I turned 14 and I enjoyed the privacy so much!
- Jessica said...
My two younger brothers shared a room for years - but one of them eventually wanted his own space. So in middle-school, the elder (by 4 years) of the two started sleeping in the guest bedroom down the hall. My parents would wake up in the mornings to find the younger brother curled up and asleep in the doorway of the guest-room :).
- Kat G said...
I shared a room with my brother growing up and didn't like it. I am an introvert though! Good luck!!
- Océane said...
I'm 23 and i'm 8 years older than my sister. When she was 1 or 2, we start sharing a bedroom and i don't remerber being bothered about it, even if she was very young. I think i was allowed to have my own when i asked for, at 12. but sometimes we had "sleepover" in our rooms! Now that i have my own place, when im back to my parents home, im still sleeping in her bed sometimees! to talk or watch a movie!
were french by the way - 4:37 PM
- Audrey said...
I'm voting for separate bedrooms, or the option to one day have separate bedrooms (like, have a home office 'til Toby is 9 or 10, then convert it into his own cool bedroom!) Sharing can be fun, can be cozy, can 'build character' like previous commenters have noted... but I'm willing to bet that's not something any child will appreciate when they're young. I'm 21 and in my senior year of college, and growing up shared a bedroom with my brother who is 5 years younger than me. (We still share that room and it is SO awkward coming home from school.) Privacy is hugely important from about the time you hit middle school on up-- and that need for privacy doesn't lessen as you get older, either. I'm sure sharing a room might have been slightly different had I had a sister, but with a brother I was and remain hugely uncomfortable sharing a room.
Also, as a side note, I'm studying social work and know that in certain states it's not permissible for foster children of separate genders to share sleeping quarters. If a family wanted to adopt/foster a girl, they would not be allowed to if they were going to have that girl share a bedroom with a boy who already lived in the household. Separate bedrooms for separate genders-- it's a good rule for many reasons. - 4:37 PM
- Marcela said...
I spent my whole childhood sharing a room with mu sister. She's 2 years younger, so we were fine with it untill puberty hit... Fortunately, a while after that my grandma moved into another house (it was a 3 bedroom house) and I finally got the privacy I wanted for so long! It was nice having my sister nearby, but it comes a time when teenagers need some space (even if just for a litte while), so it's nice to have a plan for that moment. Good luck with your apartment-hunting! :)
- Beth Vayda said...
My Sunny (16mos) and Charlotte (2.5yrs) have been sharing a room for about 9 months now. Night-time is great, naptime is not. I have to split them up in different rooms for naptime. I think they like having the comfort of the other being across the room at night though :]
- margarida said...
I've shared a room with my sister for my entire life and I think it's one of the best experiences growing up. Sharing a room not only makes siblings grow closer, it also makes people become more tolerant and generous. I'm all for it!
- KT said...
I shared a room with my oldest sister (and the middle and youngest sisters shared a room, too). I think I always wished I could have had my own room. We didn't live in a household where we hung out in our bedrooms, so it was mainly a place to sleep and get dressed--and I'm not sure if this is because they were not private spaces or because we didn't have tvs, record players, phones etc in them to entertain us. I think sharing a room helped me and my sister develop a closer relationship, so in that sense, it was positive. Otherwise, I think I could have benefited from having a physical space to use and call my own!
- k a r i said...
I shared a room with my sister for 21 years (minus the parts where we were away at college but I guess even then we had to share space with the other's stuff). When we were younger we always said we wanted our own rooms but I honestly think sharing that tiny space (7x9 with a slanty floored closet) made us better friends then we would have been because we were always talking and compromising (we repainted our room every 2 years and alternated who got to pick the color). Anyway, what I'm saying is that your kids probably won't like sharing sometimes but it will probably be good for them in the long run.
- moseyblog said...
I shared a room with my sisters for years and we had a lot of fun together. I think we finally got our own rooms when it was really time. I was about 7 and my older sister was about 9 I think.
- Hannah said...
I shared a room with my sister from age 3 to 17, when she moved away for university. Though we would have the occasional fight, they weren't often related to sharing a space. It was very much the norm for me growing up and I couldn't imagine it being different. I think it really made my the two of us very close as siblings, and I could definitely see having shared rooms for my own children someday. I don't recall feeling like I was lacking privacy or needing more room, even when we were both in high school.
- KT said...
I shared a room with my oldest sister (and the middle and youngest sisters shared a room, too). I think I always wished I could have had my own room. We didn't live in a household where we hung out in our bedrooms, so it was mainly a place to sleep and get dressed--and I'm not sure if this is because they were not private spaces or because we didn't have tvs, record players, phones etc in them to entertain us. I think sharing a room helped me and my sister develop a closer relationship, so in that sense, it was positive. Otherwise, I think I could have benefited from having a physical space to use and call my own!
- Color + Light said...
I'm #5 of 6 and shared a room with sister #3 who was 5 yrs older. I loved sharing the room with her and never gave it a thought that I could have my own room. I have 2 girls now and they have their own rooms. I'm glad because my kids have different sensibilities about what constitutes a clean room. I inadvertently avoided a combustible situation......everyone's different. Do what makes the most sense. If you have a girl then how long would you keep then in the same room?
- Color + Light said...
I'm #5 of 6 and shared a room with sister #3 who was 5 yrs older. I loved sharing the room with her and never gave it a thought that I could have my own room. I have 2 girls now and they have their own rooms. I'm glad because my kids have different sensibilities about what constitutes a clean room. I inadvertently avoided a combustible situation......everyone's different. Do what makes the most sense. If you have a girl then how long would you keep then in the same room?
- Unknown said...
I started sharing a room from the age of 8 when my sister was born. We shared our room for a good 6 years after that. I think it was the best thing my parents could have done for us as sisters. It was so great having someone in the room to laugh with or have close by if you were scared. And i think that my sister and my relationship now is WAY stronger because of it. I would only say though, that my parents made the right decision to renovate just as i was reaching my mid-teens, so that i had a room of my own just as i started seeking my own space.
- Laura Dunlap said...
First I shared a room with my little brother, and then when my sister was born i shared a room with her. Since she was born, we've shared a room and I have loved it. It helped me so much now that I am in college and have had various roommates. However, while it is easy for sisters to share a room, I think it would be hard for a brother and sister to share a room as they get older.
- sian said...
we've no choice! unless we convert our living room into a bedroom. we bought the bunkbeds before number two son had even arrived. i sahred a room with my bro and sis, it's character building. and cosy. not sure how it's going to work sleepwise though... yikes.
- Hilary said...
I do think sharing a room benefits the child in the long run. I never shared a room while growing up and when I started sharing a room in college, I went crazy.. luckily I got over it and adapted quickly. Regardless, my children will definitely share a room. Have a fabulous day, Joanna!
XX Hilary
- Jenn said...
Hi Joanna!
I have two boys (ages 6 and 2) and they love sharing a room. They have a rather large space and a walk-in closet (where their dressers are housed) so they are extremely comfortable. When deciding whether or not to go with a two / three bedroom apartment we asked our oldest son what he thought of sharing and to our surprise he was thrilled! They share toys, books, and have really bonded in their shared space. They have created forts, do shadow play on their walls, and love pillow fights!
Once they get older, we will separate them so our oldest has his privacy, but for now it's like having a sleepover each night!
Happy hunting!
Jenn - 4:57 PM
- Jessica Thiessen said...
I think sometimes you just do what you have to do. If it's more feasible to afford a two bedroom apartment and the kids have to share, so be it. I had shared rooms with my sisters growing up and also had my own room by the time I was a teenager. I'm glad we shared rooms. Even though there was frustrating moments, it teaches children lessons in ways that they won't learn in a classroom setting. Character is built. And it is fun too :) I don't think a person's childhood would be worse off because they had to share a bedroom.
- Stella said...
I think it really depends on whether your next child is a boy or a girl. I shared a room with my sister for years and my brothers shared. But I think it would have been a complete disaster (especially as a preteen/teenager) to mix genders sharing a room.
- Marion said...
I used to share a room with my youngest sister of 2 years for about 6 years. It was really fun! But we were also both pretty young, both under 10. I think as you grow up, it becomes trickier though. We both got out own bedroom as we got into our teens and that was perfect.
- Emily said...
Sharing a room can be great sometimes if you have a sister/sister or brother/brother but I have a younger brother and sharing a room with him was a nightmare! I am two years older than him and I shared a room with him until I was in the 3rd grade (8/9 years old). I had been itching for my own room for years and finally my parents let us split up. It was nice when we were younger before I started school and we had less "responsibilities" but once I started school and he was in preschool or just being a young kid it was difficult. I would want to have friends over (girls of course) and we'd want to play dress up or something and we would always have to make him leave because he was boy. And it caused unnecessary fights and arguments between us which ultimately I think led to how our relationship is today. It is not the strongest brother/sister sibling-ship ever but we do have our good moments and our bad moments but most of the time our bad moments are far more popular than our good ones. I wish our relationship was stronger a lot and I am often jealous of other sibling-ships where brother and sisters get along great. Until a certain point sharing a room is great, but kids need their own space especially when they start school and learning what they do and do not like. I would try it out for a bit! Good Luck! You're the best Joanna! xo
- Dawn | enterloop said...
Our two boys (ages 3 as of September and 20 months respectively) share a room in our two-bedroom Tribeca apartment. They are best buds. They love it and we do, too! I'm sure there will come a time when they want their own space but even if we had a six-bedroom apartment (which is not going to happen anytime soon : ), we would have them share a room at this point in their lives. They are definitely comforted by being together.
When you live in New York City, it's a relief when you let go of the idea that everyone has to have their own room right away. Just my opinion. I'm sure there are lots of others who feel differently! - 5:06 PM
- Maggie said...
I shared a room with my sister since we were born until I was 16 and she was 15 (there's 1 year difference between us) and I have such fond memories of sharing a room with her.
Some of the highlights:
- dancing and jumping on beds on Saturday mornings,
- re-arranging furniture like every week just to make things a bit different,
- secretly listening to music at night (just as quiet so that our parents wouldn't hear us),
- me making sure she takes her asthma medicines and her staying up until late with me when I had stitches on my foot and couldn't sleep ( I was about 10 years old and hurt my foot).
Even though I am nor married, when I go back home alone we still stay in the same room as we are so used to it. I think it definitely brought us closer and I've only seen the positive things in sharing a room with her. - 5:11 PM
- Moniblu said...
I shared with my older brother until I was 5 or 6, and my mom was renting out the third bedroom in our house. Then we got our own rooms. I wonder if we wouldn't have been closer as children if we had shared until my brother was a teenager at least. I was, and still am, someone who likes to be alone, so I can't comment on whether it would have worked as we got older, but I like to think it would have.
We don't have children yet, but we do have a 2-bedroom house, so if we have more than one child, regardless of gender, they will be sharing for the foreseeable future. We do have room in the master bedroom for a nursery area, so at least the issue of having a baby and an older child wouldn't come up. Our house is fairly small for a single family home (950 sq ft) but we have a good sized backyard and a park right across the street. I figure not having the space for kids to be holed-up in their rooms will bring the family together...hopefully in a good way! - 5:14 PM
- b.barrett said...
I grew up sharing a room with sisters (sometimes even sharing a large bed). It was great, and I think it's healthy. We just bought our first house and although it has three bedrooms, we will make one an office. We want our son to share with his siblings (one day if we have a child of the opposite sex and the children are older, she/he can move into the other room). There are many memories made in sharing a room, and many conflicts/issues that must be resolved because of close proximity. I want our children to learn to sort those things out. Also, I don't like the idea that a child is entitled to their own room. Much of the world doesn't have the extravagance and space we have in our western culture, and I don't want my children thinking they deserve or need it. They don't. If our child needs some space there are so many ways to get some time alone, and we'll of course, encourage ways for them to do that.
- Care said...
I shared a room with my sister from age 3 to 14 and when i had the opportunity to have my own room (my brother moved out), I found myself always back in my old room with my sister. We at times fought, but for the most part we had the best time and fell asleep laughing and chatting non-stop. We are 3 years apart and STILL best of friends!
- myboringcloset.com said...
My sister and I shared a room until I was about 11, and we moved and I got my own space. I think sharing a room taught us a lot about respecting each other, and I think having those experiences made it easier later in life sharing a dorm room in college, sharing space with a roommate, etc. I also think it brought us closer together. We spent so much time in our room playing and yes, sometimes fighting, but we always made up! When I got my own room, I was excited to have my own space to decorate and make my own, but I also got lonely at night and would often hop in my sister's bed to sleep! So, my opinion is that sharing a room is a great experience, but it's also great to be able to use your room to express your individuality! -Lacey
- Hunter Kennedy said...
My sister and I shared a room until i was in middle school, and now we are so close. Just as many other people have said, we became best friends through that!
- S Charest said...
I shared a room with my brother when we were kids and we totally loved it! I'm a girl and he is 2 years older than I am, but that wasn't a problem. We had our own room while teenagers though, but I still hung in his room all the time. We definitely are much closer thanks to that experience!
- Charis said...
I have three daughters, 8, 6 and 4 and they all share one room. There are times that they fight, sure, but they are very close and love to be together. I think it's helped them learn to share and respect other people's things, space and need for quiet. It also puts a limit on the amount of things they can have, which I love. Toys, clothes, stuff accumulates so quickly and when the room is filled, it's time to get rid of things.
- mfelenyuk said...
Definitely share. I don't care if I have enough money to buy every child and a pet a separate room, they will be sharing one. I'm 7 years older than my sister and I shared a room with her until I was 15. We had the best times together (and some worst times too, but not too many of those). It teaches you so much, as everyone mentioned, and you only have to buy two beds. They can share everything else and you can spend the money saved on awesome family vacations. I should mention that she stayed in my parents bedroom until she was 1 or so, so i never shared a room with a baby.
- Sam said...
I had my own room up until I was 11 and then when my parents divorced and we were broke, I actually ended up sharing a room with my MOM until I was 18. I think that whole experience has made me appreciate the value of personal space. I've lived alone a majority of my adult life and most recently moved in with roommates under the condition that I have my OWN room. I can imagine sharing a room with a sibling as a small child would be a great experience. Sharing a room with a sibling of the same gender as a teenager, sure. Sharing a room with your mom as you enter puberty? Life lessons, man.
- Ashley C said...
We had two boys and two girls in my family, so we all shared - the boys until my oldest brother left home. We had fights, of course, but I think it was a good thing for us. My brothers did fine in their own rooms, but by the time my sister and I became teenagers, we really needed our own space (she pretty much started living in the guest bedroom and only came to our room to get dressed), so we were happy when Josh went to college and we each got our own rooms.
That said, I figure kids should share when they are little, but if possible have their own space as teens. - 5:47 PM
- mfelenyuk said...
And in mind opinion there's no need to pay for empty space. It's better to buy a new place in 10 years when Toby needs a separate room from his sister/brother, vs paying for that home office for 10 years.
- Love me if ya dare said...
I shared a room with my older brother, and I think it's great until you're teenagers.
- Malin said...
I say do. I shared with my sister until I was 7ish. And then when my dad bought a new house after my parents divorced (we stayed there 2-3 days/week)we got a room each, but decided to share both and use one as a bedroom and the other as a study/chilling room. (We were 14&15 then)
- annie said...
between having someone around during nighttime thunderstorms and waking up and seeing the first snowfall and shrieking about it together, i'm pretty sure sharing a room with my sister was the best idea ever. i loved it, but my sister and i have always had a fun and happy relationship. still, maybe it's good to see if it works, and if it doesn't, always good to have that extra room... :)
- Write to Simplicity said...
I shared a room with my younger sister (2y 9m) forever and as much as I wanted my own room when I was in high school, I now love that we shared. It made us closer. So many of our inside jokes are because of sharing. I also think it teaches you how to be a better roommate once you get to college. Even if I had enough rooms for my kids, when they are young, I want to make them share. Use the extra space (if you have it) for an office/guest room.
- Melissarneff said...
My 2 girls share a room. Isabella just turned 3 and Olivia is 14 months. We moved Olivia into the room when she was 3 months. It has been really great overall. I have been so surprised how they don't wake each other up throughout the night if one wakes up crying. We have a sound machine which I think is key. And it's nice to put them both down and leave only one room, as opposed to doing 2 separate bedtime routines and goodnights. They seem to really like it. And since we have a 3 bedroom house, it is nice to keep a room dedicated to being a guest room. If we have a 3rd kid, esp if it's a girl, I think that we would move Isabella and Olivia into a full size bed and put a crib in the room. I think at such a young age, kids don't really need their own space. I am sure that will change in the future. Just my 2 cents!
- thenestingspot said...
I never had to share growing up but we just had our third child and we live in a small 3 bedroom house. So, we had no choice but to put two of the kids together. We decided to put the two older ones together (a boy who just turned 5 and a girl who is 2 1/2) so that the baby who'd be sleeping more could have his own space. I was dreading putting them together since our daughter would be moving straight from her crib to a twin bed and would not only gain freedom but have to get used to falling asleep with her brother in the room. I have been so happy at how amazingly well it has gone. They both love it and even though there are nights when giggling may turn into fighting they have both adjusted so well. And thankfully neither child seems to have any ill feelings towards baby for making them lose space...they see it as getting to have more fun! I think that since the room is pretty small we can't do this forever but for when they are young it will give them some great memories growing up. I assume we'll have to get a bigger house by the time they're teens though. But whenever our little space starts to feel small I think about all the people around the world who fit large families in really tiny spaces and are content.
- Kristina said...
I always manage to forget that I shared a room with my older brother from age 2-7 and then with my younger sister from age 10-13. I think sharing when you're younger works, but having to share a room in middle school was terrible. Teenage sisters just should not be in that close of quarters. Try to think though of where you'll be in 10-12 years. Maybe a two bedroom will work for now, you can always move again in the future.
Kristina does the Internets - 6:04 PM
- CWYT said...
I grew up sharing a room and sleeping on two twin beds side by side. At the time, there were days when I loved having someone else around to laugh and bum around with while there were other times that I wished I could shut out the world and just have my own quiet space. In retrospect, sharing a room was never going to be the end of the world and I think it ultimately shaped me into a more flexible, less selfish person. Having one's own room throughout childhood is something that many American children take for granted but is actually supreme privilege that indicates that a child's parents have the resources to devote a whole room of the house to him/her. Plenty of kids grow up sharing rooms with no problem at all and I think having the everyday exercise of learning how to share is very valuable.
- Spencer and Michelle said...
As young kids my family lived in a two bedroom apartment. My parents took the smaller room, and my brother and I had the master with the en suite. As kids, we loved it. There was never an issue with privacy, sleepovers or sharing space. We argued just as much as the next brother and sister, but not when it came to sharing a room. At the age of 10, we moved into a house where we could each have our own room. We started out that way, but after a few months we missed each other so badly we converted our downstairs play room into a shared bedroom. We stayed that way until I was 13 and decided I'd like my own space. Sharing a room with my younger brother have such fond memories for us, and I think helped create the bond we have today. Hope this helps your decision.
- Rebeka said...
I shared a room with my 18-months-younger brother until I was in 5th grade and we moved into a bigger house. I can't imagine sharing a room with a boy as a high-schooler, but when we were young it was no problem.
- Imogen Eve said...
We have just bought a 3 bed house. As soon as my little girl is sleeping through the night, I'm thinking I'll put her in the same room as her brother, at least while they're young. There is something nice about children sharing a room. I imagine laughter, reading together, playing in the morning before we're awake and some huge arguments.
When they get a bit older, one will move out though. - 6:09 PM
- carly travis said...
This is coming from a 14 year olds perspective...
It seems like a good idea at first but if you end up having a girl after you've had a boy then your absolutely doomed. I have a younger brother who I love, but he drives me crazy. And once he or she hits a certain age, they need, want, and deserve their own space.
After Toby turns ten he'll be asking for his own room, but until then you could have a ton of fun decorating a space for the two of them to share!
Hope this helped!
xx - 6:15 PM
- Sadie Marie said...
I loved sharing a room with my brother when we were little, from the time I was a baby till we were 7 and 8. Then I switched to sharing with my sister because my parents thought that was the age appropriate thing to do. My dad took out the closet doors and made me a loft on top and we put my dresser and toys underneath, I loved it! Then as a 12 year old I moved and back with my brother for a year, we had to rotate changing and make sure we knocked on the door but I really enjoyed it. He is my best friend. Then when I was 13 I got my own room for the first time, I really didn't like it very much, but I got used to it.
- Caitlin Meggs said...
share, share, share! my sister and i shared a room until i entered my teen rooms and i agree with previous comments- it has given me amazing memories. sharing space is such a natural part of life- when you go to college, with roommate, with your future partner, what better place to learn than with your siblings? we fought for sure- once i convinced her to pee on the bed! but we also would stay up at night playing with our stuffed animals and making up stories. she is three years younger. we are travelling to india together for 2 months in feb! so, learning to share close spaces with your siblings pays off in the long run :) good luck on the house hunt!
- Sadie Marie said...
Do it! They will become fast friends. Especially if you give them flashlights. :)
- Carolyn A said...
Growing up we had two bedrooms to share between 5 kids. In a nutshell, it was pretty tight. I won't go into the details of how it all worked out, but I shared a room with my older sister and
most of the time I liked it. Maybe because I had no choice? Having to share a room with my younger brother, however, would have been a NIGHTMARE. He is 7 years younger than me. Eight year old boys and 15 year old girls are not compatible. Anyway, I think sharing a room with a close in age same sex sibling builds character and helps with learning how to share. Also, it will help them down the road when they go to college and realize they will likely have to share a very small dorm room with a stranger.
We have a baby boy on the way who, although we have 4 bedrooms, will likely share a room if baby number 2 is also a boy. If baby number 2 is a girl then he'll get lucky!
- Amy P said...
My husband and I both had to share rooms as kids, and we think it was good for us. Maybe not always the most fun thing, but definitely character-building. You learn a lot of problem-solving skills :) However we both got our own rooms as we got older - around age 13 or so? Which I definitely appreciated, although I don't think it would've been horrible to share with my sister whom I got along with fairly well. So I'd say while the kids are young, no worries! By the time Toby is old enough, you might want to move again anyway.
- amelia said...
A 22 year old perspective on her childhood.
I shared a room with both my older sister and younger brother, we all shared a room at first, then I shared with my sister, then my brother when my sister wanted her own room at about 9? I loved it.I also got my own room when I was about 9. The wierd thing is that we always had 4 bedrooms, when we were little they were just used as an office/spare bedroom. When me and my sister were older (14-18) we used to chat for hours and end up falling asleep in the other ones bed. I love that now she and I both have our own places, that we have to share when we stay at each others houses.
Good luck house hunting X
- Letícia said...
Hello Joanna,
I have no kids of my own but I have been an Au Pair in NYC for 2 years and worked for two different families, the first with 3 girls (they had their own bedrooms) and the second family had a boy and a girls with their own bedrooms as well.
Let me tell you that in the first family the girls loved each other very much but they were also very happy to have their own spaces. On the second family, the same specially because they were brother and sister.
That is an important thing to think about. You want a second child but it can be a girl. Would it be nice for your daughter to share the room with Tobby? Maybe while a small child it would be fun but growing up it could be a problem.
Also, I think that if the kids are close in age it is easier but if if the age difference is big than nightmare!!
I personaly have always loved my space and i'm sure it would have been a nightmare to share the room with my sister.
As much as we love each other we are very different, we argue a lot and we cannot share the same room for the sake of everyone in the house.
That is another point to take into consideration. Your children will love each other as bothers or sisters of course but simply because of a personality thing they might not get along as well as you wished they did...
Love, leticia - 6:48 PM
- The Slick Mom said...
I shared with one of my sisters until my oldest sister moved out and we got our own rooms. We split the room with masking tape at one point. But I love the memories I have of sharing a room. Today even though we have a 4 bedroom house, my two boys share. For one, it allows for a guest room and a den, but the main reason is that I agree with a lot of the posters that it builds that bond. Now that my 2 yr old has the side off his crib, we found them in bed together the other night. The sweetest thing ever! And since we have the extra room, once they're older we can split them up.
- Lisa said...
We live in Manhattan, and my 4 year old and 1 year old sons share a room. It's not always perfect -- sometimes the baby wakes up the older kid. Mostly, though, my 4 year old sleeps through the disruptions, I think because city kids are used to sleeping through noise anyway. We want to give our kids the gift of living in this amazing city, but since we cannot afford a bigger apartment here, it's a tradeoff, and one that is working out nicely thus far. They are young enough that they've never known what it's like to have their own rooms. It's cute listening to them chatter away to each other as they fall asleep or when they wake up in the morning. I really think they don't mind sharing their room.
- tragicsandwich said...
My brother and I always had our own rooms, but Mr. Sandwich had to share a room with his older sisters for quite a while. We always figured we'd start the kids out sharing a room and see how it went, but we're just going to have one.
- kelly said...
I shared a room with my (16 months) younger sister until I went to college. It was a living nightmare. We were so close in age yet so different and all I craved was my space. We literally did not get along until I left -- constant bickering and fighting.
Then when I got to college my poor rooommate had the unfortunate experience of teaching me about personal space and private property. I literally did not understand why I couldn't just use anything and everything in our room -- after all, it was OUR room and my sister and I had used each other's stuff constantly growing up. It never occurred me that "borrowing" a shirt out of someone's closet without asking wasn't ok.
On the other hand, I have no problem with sharing, I have an endless experience dealing with shitty situations where you literally hate the person you're living with but still love them to death, and it takes a LOT to annoy me all of which I attribute to sharing a room with my sister.
And I sometimes still miss locking myself in the closet with a book for hours on end (pillow and back pressed up against the door so she couldn't force it open) or taking 3 hours baths for the alone time.
- neilandnikki said...
our four children share two rooms, and they love it. the oldest two are 4 and 6, and the babies are 2 and almost one. sometimes the babies wake each other, but rarely. the oldest two are inseparable and when my oldest went to camp for a week, my 4 yr old really had a tough time going to bed!
i almost always had my own room growing up but some of my best memories are from the summer i shared a room with my sisters when we had an exchange student for a few months. - 7:18 PM
- Jessica Brown said...
I think this is easy. If you can afford it once the kids are older (9+) then have own bedrooms, if you can't afford it then live with what you can.
My boys share and we would love for them to have separate rooms. Maybe one day... - 7:19 PM
- thedalyn said...
I'll second the experience that they do not wake each other up. My boys (3 1/2 and 1 1/2) have slept in the same room since the baby was born--even though until recently we had 3 extra rooms. Even when one wakes up crying, the other sleeps right through it and they're not the soundest sleepers; I think they're just used to one another. And it does simplify life to a great extent.
- Tasha said...
I shared a room with my sister (who is 7 years older) until she moved out at 18, and I absolutely loved it. I really do think it made us close growing up and so close now. xxx
http://mygymcake.blogspot.co.uk - 7:24 PM
- Belén said...
My sister and I have always shared room and we love it, we have a spare room so when we need our own space we just go there to sleep or study. She moved to that room a few years ago but after 3 months we went back to sleep together cause we missed each other, we don't spend a lot of time together during the day so at night is a good time to catch up. It's really helpful so you get used to share, compromise if you don't want the same things, etc. And it has made us best friends! But most of my friends do not get along with their siblings that much, we even share clothes. So i would say yes to share, but as long as they get the chance to stop sharing if they don't get along (And the 3 room house)
- Mary said...
JO: PLEASE GET A 3 BEDROOM. Coming from a woman who had no sisters and only brothers (a real possibility for your future child), she will not want to share a room with a boy. Even if she is quite young when it happens before you move into another space.
- Colleen said...
I shared a room with my sister for around ten years on and off, considering we grew up in apartments since we were babies (we're also 22 months apart). We had separate rooms when my parents rented a house, which was lovely (and I was about seven at the time). After my second sister was born, we shared a room. I am not sure why, but we did. And I hated it. I was around ten years old, and my sister's personality had changed so drastically that I wanted to be so far away from her.
- Annaslammo said...
I shared a room with my sister until I was about 15 and mostly it was great, and I would like that for my kids, at least for a while.
I think the main factors are age difference, whether or not you have a boy or girl, and then the age that they will share until (you anticipate). If this house is your 'forever' family home..then the three bedroom is the way to go. Or if you think you may move again and at that point can afford a bigger house, then 2 beds will work while kiddies are littler...well anyway this is the theory I am working off! I am in a 2 bed apartment with a 3.5year old and one on the way. - 7:49 PM
- Found said...
I think it works best when the siblings are super close in age....twins, or a year, mayyyybe two. I think there's going to be enough space between Toby and future-baby that it could be problematic. Especially if you have a daughter!
- Ellen said...
I shared with much younger sisters for years and it was a positive experience. I had a very close bond with the sister I shared with for the longest.
If they are different gender then by the teen years space should be a real consideration. But you have many years before that time and by then you may even have moved again!
We have a three bedroom house and would love to have four kids. We may eventually use part of the basement, but if the gender assortment works out, we plan to have two and two sharing. So far, two girls. :)
Either way, I like to keep in mind that we have incredible luxury in being able to choose this kind of space - there are happy children around the world who live in much smaller places. I knew an american family living in Singapore whose bedroom was the living room... They all had loft beds above the other furniture! They were great kids and didn't seem to mind. - 7:51 PM
- Tamara said...
All three of my boys will eventually share a room! Once my baby (16 months) gets a little older, he will move on in with his 4 and 3-year-old brothers. I think it will be great....bunk bed and a trundle. Oh yeah!
- Stephanie Sabbe said...
My brother and I shared a room in elementary school. I hated it. We only started sharing rooms after my parents divorced, so I am sure that did not help. I am pregnant right now and no mater what the gender, he/she will be sharing a room with my little guy. Or, if it is a total sleep nightmare (for mama) baby #2 will sleep in our second bathroom. It's a common thing in our building. One day when we are not living in a two bedroom apartment in downtown Boston they will get their own rooms. Unless they don't want them:)
- Lauren Knight said...
I agree about the age gap making a huge difference. My sister is 7 years older than me, and by brother 20 months younger. When we were growing up, my brother and I shared a room, but my sister definitely needed privacy and her own space since she was so much older.
My 5 and 3-year-old boys currently share a room and they love it. I think they both feel more secure, and there is a bit of bonding that goes on before they fall asleep (we have heard some pretty funny conversations going on in there!). - 8:13 PM
- nancy said...
i shared a room with my sister until i was 13. as kids it was totally fine, and we liked the time to ourselves at night. we would ask ach other "talk or sleep" once the lights went out. but, it was so exciting to get my room when i got a little older.
- Honeysuckle Handmades said...
i wish i could find the article, but i read once that sharing a room, even for a boy and a girl, while young, is healthier for them.
- Allison Lizer said...
I am a twin. It's not always like this, but people compared us all the time, our grades were scrutinized based on one another's performance, and people got us "share" birthday gifts. I love my sister but if I didn't at least have my own space I would have gone CRAZY.
- Sarah D said...
If its affordable and you plan on staying at the apartment for longer than 5 years, I'd go with the 3 bedrooms. I shared a room as a young child (until I was 10) and it was always fine. Yes, we fought about space sometimes, but honestly, that didn't stop when I got my own room! lol! Siblings find things to bicker about regardless and there is really no reason that kids can't share. BUT.... when your second is an infant, you may find it easier to have baby separate from Toby, so that they don't interrupt each other's sleep. You can certainly have baby stay in your room for the first several months to a year. That's what I did anyway. But, that's not the best fit for all families. And... if you have a girl, once Toby is about 8 or 9, he's going to want privacy when dressing in front of others. So... if you plan to stay for longer than 6 years, a 3 bedroom will be more important (unless you have a boy, but there's no way to predict that). Apartments are so tiny, with 2 kids, you could always have them share and use the 3rd bedroom as a playroom.
- KKat79 said...
My bias is that if it is either stretching to buy a place with more bedrooms or being more financially comfortable with fewer bedrooms, I'd rather sleep easy at night, be able to afford to work less and be available more, and have more experiences like vacations that might otherwise not be on the menu if we were struggling to meet the mortgage every month. Mainly the being able to work less...I stay home and forgo a (low) six-figure salary and am so glad that I was able to do that because we didn't get into a huge house that would have required me to work. It is the rare person on this planet that can afford a bedroom for each family member, anyway.
- Lacey in the City said...
I'm going to say that if they are close in age and the same sex, sharing a room when they're younger is okay. Once the kids start getting older though, I think it's healthy to have their own space. And if they kids are different sexes, I think it's a must to have their own spaces.
- MunA said...
In my experience, it had been nice to share the room for a while with my little sister, but when you are a teenager you need your own room if it is possible, obviously! Fortunately, the three of us sisters, just teenagers, we could each have their own bedroom.
Fortunately, the three of us sisters we were treated all in the same way and when just teenagers we could each have their own bedroom. I think the children could grow much better knowing they have their own space to be alone if they need to. Lot of kisses from Italy!
http://munascoolture.blogspot.it/2012/11/the-munas-best-dressed-of-week-list.html - 9:02 PM
- Ellen said...
Great points - when my husband and I talk about space, we always prefer time together and experiences over space!
- Janan said...
I shared my whole time growing up. Shared in college. Then got married! Until recently my 3 girls shared rooms. I think it's great for kids. :)
- Audrey said...
We have 4 bedrooms and 2 kids but my girls are about to share a room (until they get a little older). I think it's healthy for them.
- fromtheloftabove said...
i was lucky enough to have my own room growing up but i always used to envy my friends who shared rooms with their brother/sister. how cool to have your own little retreat to share secrets and play together and gang up on the parents! i think when kids are young and they share rooms, it strengthens their bond to each other. i probably wouldn't do it past puberty, but while they're young it would be awesome!
- Lindsey Lindstrom said...
My kids (5 year old girl and 2 year old boy) share a bedroom and have so much fun! It's a relatively large room, so they aren't on top of each other. They sleep really well together and have become quite a comfort to each other! I'd say yes...definitely yes :)
- betsy said...
I grew up sharing a room (and even a bed, at times) with my younger sister. My two brothers shared a room, too. We never knew any different and sometimes didn't like sharing a space, but most of the time we enjoyed the company. We were never afraid of the dark and stayed up late many nights telling stories, playing "would you rather", and doing flips off our beds. Plus, it made having a roommate in college much easier. You learn to share your things and your space. I wouldn't have had it any other way. My husband and I plan to have four children if we are so lucky, and we have a three bedroom house. I can't wait for them to experience the joys (and hardships) of sharing a space.
- Ann said...
I liked sharing a room with my sister growing up. It was a world that we shared together. During the stage of early childhood, I think the pros outweigh the cons!
- yen said...
My sister and I shared a room when we were little, and I don't think we realized that it could be any other way! It was fun at night (when we weren't sulking after a fight, and even then) and I think I would have been afraid of the dark otherwise. But I was glad to have my own room (so I could sulk alone) when I was a teenager!
(This is my first time commenting, but I've been reading your blog a while now, and wanted to say that I love it!) - 10:07 PM
- Gabriela Roméro said...
I'm a only child, so I don't have any experience about sharing rooms. However, I thing the best option is to give the kid a chance to choose. So, if I were you, I would spend more money and buy a three-bedroom place. At the beginning, they can share the bedroom and the third room can be an officce or a living room. If you see that they like to share the room, that's great! You will have a guest room. But, if you decide for a two-bedroom place and your two kids show that they can't stand sharing rooms, I think you will regret a lot not having chosen a bigger place.
Sorry, for my English. Hope you understand my point despite the many mistakes. - 10:13 PM
- Gabriela Roméro said...
Really, really sorry for the "a" instead of "an", the "thing" instead of "think" and many more mistakes that I can't even realize I have made...
- Anna said...
I always hated sharing a room. Having the good fortunate to have contractors in the family, my parents were able to build an addition so that each child was ultimately able to have their own room.
So, after about 12 years of sharing a room, I finally had my own space. My sister and brother (2 and 4 years younger than me, respectively) also got their own rooms. And to this day, they still hate it and wish that they had a single room. It's a function of them being good friends and having similar personalities, while I'm a bit different in my ways.
So mostly, I think it depends on the kid. It can be hard to determine when they're young -- but as a parent, I do think you have some sense of your children and the type of people they're likely to become.
Plus, you can always make sharing a room exciting and fun -- and something they want to do. It never has to be something that would be a burden if you don't make it that way!
So, coming from a sharing-room disliker, I would say: go for it! - 10:21 PM
- Darci said...
My daughters - now 19 and 21 - shared a room from day 1 until my older daughter left for college 3 years ago. There were good times of love and togetherness and there were times when I wanted my own room...in another house! I say go for it...think of the dorm skills be learned.
- Monika Berry said...
We have a 3BR and study home but want our ids to share a room (currently expecting Baby #1) - at least until they are 10, then give them their own space. I think it would be nice for bonding and learning to live with each other early on.
- dos marias said...
I grew up sharing a bedroom with my little brother (4 years younger) and I think it was really good for us. From what I remember, and from what our parents say, we got along much better than most other siblings we knew. When we got older, around 7 and 11, we got our own bedrooms, but those are some of our fondest memories and we talk about that time of our lives often!
- Abi said...
What a smart answer!! I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and about to give birth to twin girls! We have a 3 bedroom house and I will make 1 a nursery until the babies are big enough to be at the bed time as their big sister!!!
- Devyn @ Seasoned said...
My sister and I had bunk beds for years and I always wanted my own room-- until my parents granted my request and I realized I was terrified of sleeping alone. Being the older sister, I solved this new problem by demanding that my sister sleep in a sleeping bag in my new room (a situation that continued for at least another year). That being said, I vote for sharing a room :)
- Abi said...
What a smart answer!! I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and about to give birth to twin girls! We have a 3 bedroom house and I will make 1 a nursery until the babies are big enough to be at the bed time as their big sister!!!
- liz said...
keep in mind baby #2 would be in your room for a while, so you could always move later into another apt once you get to know the area more and get a bigger space. so nothing has to be set in stone. if it's more affordable for now you can make it work if you need to. I knew a lot of families in brooklyn with mult kids in a room and they made it work. things are different in a city setting.
i shared a room until I was in 4th grade and it was all we knew.
my kids have seperate rooms now, which ends up being a perk cos out oldest needs that personal space for times he gets upset and needs to cool down. My other 2 kids would be able to share a room more easily.
every family is different. whatever you decide will work out and be great. and if it's not ideal for you- you can always adjust later.
- amy said...
my little sister slept in my bed most of the time when I was about 6 or 7 and she was 3 or 4. one time my parents even tried to put all three of us girls in the master bedroom- no sleep was had by anyone, so that was pretty short-lived!
- Tracy Evelyn said...
I shared a room when I was little and loved it (until about 12). My sisters boys share a room 3 & 4.5 years old) and they LOVE it, they are best friends and just love sharing everything! Good luck!
- Bren said...
I shared a room with one of my sisters up until she left for college. She is only 4 years older than me so our age gap was not that wide. All my life I have shared a room because I have a "huge" family (5 girls, 1 boy) and since we did not have much money growing up, we used to live in apartments and homes with only 2-3 bedrooms and all of us would cram in there. I think it's a great idea to share bedrooms because it allows children to share things and stories. I loved staying up late talking to my sister about life, boys, clothes, etc. I have two sets of nephews who share rooms and they love it. It all depends on the kid. I think it would be best to ask Toby what he would like. :)