text:
Pacific Southwest, Region 9: Superfund
Serving Arizona, California, Hawaii, Nevada, the Pacific Islands, and Tribal Nations
Intel Corp. (Mountain View Plant)
State: California(CA)
County: Santa Clara
City: Mountain View
Congressional District: 14
Other Names: Part of the Middlefield-Ellis-Whisman (MEW) Study Area
Bulletin Board
Aug 2010: EPA announces its selection of the vapor intrusion remedy for the MEW Superfund Study Area in EPA's Record of Decision Amendment for the Vapor Intrusion Pathway (Click Here). EPA thanks the community for comments received on the Proposed Plan & for participating in the decision making process.
On this page
Description and History
NPL Listing History
NPL Status: Final
Proposed Date: 10/15/84
Final Date: 06/10/86
Deleted Date:
The former Intel Corp. facility is located at 365. E. Middlefield Road in Mountain View, California. The facility formerly manufactured semiconductors at this 2-acre property from 1968 until 1981. The Intel site is one of three Superfund or National Priorities List (NPL) sites that are being cleaned up simultaneously. The other two Superfund sites are the Fairchild Semiconductor Corp. (Mountain View Plant) site and Raytheon site. The sites are located in the Middlefield-Ellis-Whisman (MEW) Study Area. Site investigations at several of these facilities during 1981 and 1982 revealed significant soil and groundwater contamination by toxic chemicals, primarily volatile organic compounds (VOCs).
Contaminants and Risks
Contaminated Media
- Groundwater
- Air
- Soil and Sludges
The primary contaminants of concern are trichloroethene (TCE) and other volatile organic compounds (VOCs) in groundwater. The soil has been cleaned up to meet the soil cleanup standards.
Who is Involved
This site is being addressed through EPA and potentially responsible parties' actions.
Investigation and Cleanup Activities
The contamination addressed in the MEW Record of Decision is both facility-specific and regional. Each individual MEW Company is responsible for investigation, cleanup, and source control for soil and groundwater contamination at their individual facility-specific properties south of U.S. Highway 101. Contaminated groundwater that has bypassed the source control areas and has mixed together with other contaminated groundwater from other source areas is considered part of the regional groundwater contamination plume, or the "regional plume."
- The MEW Regional Groundwater Remediation Program systems south and north of U.S. Highway 101 are designed to contain and clean up contaminated groundwater where the contaminated plume has mixed together with other contaminated groundwater and where the source of contamination has not been identified. The Navy and NASA Ames both operate groundwater extraction and treatment systems to contain and clean up contaminated groundwater at their areas of responsibility on Moffett Field, in addition to the regional system operating North of 101 on Moffett Field.
It is important to note that groundwater currently is not used for drinking water or other potable uses. Groundwater in the area is, however, a potential future source of drinking water and therefore groundwater cleanup standards have been established.
Remedy Selected
In June 1989, EPA issued a Record of Decision selecting the soil and groundwater cleanup remedy for the MEW Site. The soil remedy includes: excavation, with treatment by aeration; and soil vapor extraction with treatment by vapor-phase granular activated carbon. The groundwater remedy includes: slurry walls (barriers beneath the surface) to contain contaminants; and extraction and treatment systems to contain and clean up groundwater contamination using granular activated carbon and/or air-stripping systems.
Because the groundwater contamination at the MEW Site migrates northward and has mixed with contamination from sources at the NAS Moffett Field Superfund site, the groundwater remedy selected in the MEW Record of Decision also applies to the commingled regional groundwater contamination area on former NAS Moffett Field (the West-Side Aquifers), but not the entire former NAS Moffett Field facility.
Intel Facility-Specific Work - 365 E. Middlefield Road
Groundwater extraction at the former Intel Mountain View facility began in 1982 from one extraction located on Lot 3 (365 East Middlefield Road). The well was completed across both the upper A Aquifer and the B1 Aquifer.
Between 1982 and 1984, approximately 27.5 million gallons of groundwater were pumped resulting in an approximately 1,600 pounds of VOCs removed. The extraction well was destroyed in 1984 when Intel conducted a source area removal action.
In 1985, four new groundwater extraction wells were installed. Three of these wells were completed in the A Aquifer and one well was completed in the B1 Aquifer. EPA approved the shut down of extraction well PW-1A in 1996 after an investigation determined that taking the well off-line did not effect the overall capture zone at the facility. Intel manages the operation of the extraction wells and treatment system and shares responsibility with Raytheon for the source control extraction well for Lots 3, 4, and 5, including Well I-1B2.
The Intel groundwater treatment facility consists of two 2,000-pound canisters of GAC operated in series. Between June and August 1998, the treatment system was relocated from along the east side of the existing site building to a location near the southwest corner of the property in preparation for tenant improvements. Although changes were made to influent and effluent piping, no changes were made to the two liquid-phase GAC vessels.
In 1998, a diffused aeration tank or air stripper was installed within the treatment pad enclosure to aerate the extracted groundwater prior to carbon absorption, thus decreasing the potential for exceedances of the NPDES effluent requirements. In April 2003, the use of the diffused aeration tank was discontinued and groundwater treated with GAC was plumbed to discharge to the City of Mountain View sewer. The system has the permitted option of discharging to a storm drain located along the eastern property boundary. The storm drain leads to Stevens Creek.
Over 74 million gallons of groundwater have been treated and 2,000 pounds of VOCs removed since system start-up in 1982.
EPA First Five-Year Review
EPA's 2004 Five-Year Review for the MEW Study Area determined that for the groundwater remedy to remain protective in the long-term, the following actions need to be taken: long-term protectiveness should continue to be verified by monitoring the extent of groundwater contamination along the estimated groundwater contamination plume boundaries. This evaluation should be accomplished through routine annual groundwater sampling events. Current data indicate that the remedy is functioning as required to meet the remedial action objectives; however, EPA recommends optimization of both the regional and facility-specific systems to enhance plume capture, evaluation of applicable technologies to potentially expedite contaminant mass removal and cleanup time, and evaluation of the potential need for institutional controls.
Current Actions
Intel has begun implementing an in-situ bioremediation pilot test at its former facility at 365 East Middlefield Road in Mountain View to try to reduce VOC concentrations in the "hot spot" areas in a shorter period of time. During the pilot test, the groundwater extraction and treatment system is not operating. See Intel's annual progress report for more information.
Site Studies
EPA Evaluates Vapor Intrusion Pathway
The existing soil and groundwater remedy at the MEW Site does not address risks from long-term exposure through the vapor intrusion pathway. Since the issuance of EPA's 1989 Record of Decision, new information has been developed regarding the toxicity of TCE and potential vapor intrusion into buildings overlying shallow groundwater contamination. In 2003, as part of EPA's Five-Year Review of the MEW Study Area, EPA began evaluating whether VOCs in shallow groundwater are potentially migrating upward through the soils and cracks in the floors or through plumbing conduits and other preferential pathways, and impacting indoor air.
Based on indoor air sampling of both commercial and residential buildings in the area conducted in 2003 to 2007, EPA has confirmed the presence of the subsurface vapor intrusion pathway into a number of structures overlying the shallow groundwater TCE plume. None of the samples taken to date indicate any immediate or short-term health threat to building occupants from this pathway. EPA's main concern is whether the chemicals from the Site measured in indoor air pose an unacceptable risk of chronic health effects due to long-term exposure (25 years or more). It is EPA's policy not to set cleanup levels or take action to reduce levels that are less than ambient background levels.
Some of the sampled buildings indicated indoor air contaminant concentrations that were elevated above background levels and above EPA Region 9's TCE interim action level in indoor air for long-term exposure. In each of these buildings, the MEW Companies and NASA have taken voluntary interim measures (e.g., sealing cracks/conduits, upgrading/modifying ventilation systems, installing air purifying systems) to reduce the indoor air contaminant concentrations. In addition, many new buildings in the MEW Study Area have taken measures to help prevent or mitigate the vapor intrusion pathway. Although EPA has not yet determined what the long-term mitigation and monitoring strategy should be for all buildings overlying shallow groundwater contamination, the results of these interim measures have generally reduced the indoor air levels thus far and are protective of residents and workers.
In 2010, after amending the MEW Record of Decision, EPA selected a remedy that addressed potential long-term exposure of TCE, and other VOCs at unacceptable levels, through the vapor intrusion pathway, For more information, please access the 2010 Record of Decision Amendment for the Vapor Intrusion Pathway document either by clicking here or finding it in the Records of Decision subsection of the Documents and Reports section below.
In 1985, the EPA issued an Administrative Order On Consent to Intel, Fairchild Semiconductor, and Raytheon, requiring the three companies to conduct a joint site investigation. In 1991, EPA, Intel and Raytheon signed a Consent Decree, an agreement under which Intel and Raytheon agreed to design and construct the groundwater extraction and treatment systems for the regional groundwater contamination.
Cleanup Results to Date
Under EPA's direction and oversight, Intel has implemented the soil and groundwater cleanup program at the former Intel facility. The soil cleanup has been completed at the Intel site and all the former MEW facilities.
- Since 1982, Intel has been pumping and treating groundwater by carbon adsorption. By 1986, Intel had removed approximately 4,600 cubic yards of contaminated soil. Other immediate actions performed by the company included removing tanks and sealing contaminated wells to prevent contaminant migration.
Groundwater cleanup will continue to operate for many decades in order to meet the TCE groundwater cleanup standard of 5 parts per billion. The groundwater remedy has reduced contaminant concentrations throughout the multiple aquifer zones. The groundwater is not being used as a potable water supply, and there are no direct exposure pathways to the contaminated groundwater while groundwater cleanup continues.
Potentially Responsible Parties
Potentially responsible parties (PRPs) refers to companies that are potentially responsible for generating, transporting, or disposing of the hazardous waste found at the site.
Under EPA's direction and regulatory oversight, Intel Corporation is responsible for investigating and cleaning up the soil and groundwater at the Intel-Mountain View Superfund Site. In addition, the following individual companies are responsible for investigating and cleaning up the groundwater at the MEW Site. These companies are collectively referred to as the MEW Companies:
- Fairchild Semiconductor Corporation
- Intel Corporation
- Raytheon Company
- Schlumberger Technology Corp. (Schlumberger)
- NEC Electronics America, Inc. (NEC)
- SMI Holding LLC (SMI)
- Vishay General Semiconductor (Vishay)
- SUMCO Phoenix Corporation (SUMCO)
- National Semiconductor Corporation
- Tracor X-Ray
- Union Carbide
National Semiconductor Corporation, Tracor X-Ray, and Union Carbide are not involved with the active investigation and cleanup of the MEW Site.
Documents and Reports
Community Involvement
Public Meetings: A community advisory group, the MEW Community Advisory Board, meets to learn about and discuss MEW Superfund Study Area investigation and cleanup issues.
EPA has awarded a Technical Assistance Grant (TAG) to the Pacific Studies Center. The TAG provides money for activities that help the community understand technical information at the MEW Site. Please contact Lenny Siegel, TAG Administrator, at 650-961-8918 or email@example.com for more information.
Public Information Repositories
The public information repositories for the site are at the following locations:
Mountain View Public Library,
585 Franklin Street,
Mountain View, CA 94041
Monday-Thursday 10 am to 9 pm
Friday and Saturday 10 am to 6 pm
Sunday 1 pm to 5 pm
The most complete collection of documents is the official EPA site file, maintained at the following location:
Superfund Records Center
Mail Stop SFD-7C
95 Hawthorne Street, Room 403
San Francisco, CA 94105
(415) 820-4700
Enter main lobby of 75 Hawthorne street, go to 4th floor of South Wing Annex.
EPA Site Manager
Mail Code SFD
75 Hawthorne Street
San Francisco, CA 94105
EPA Community Involvement Coordinator
Mail Code SFD
75 Hawthorne Street
San Francisco, CA 94105
EPA Public Information Center
State Contact
PRP Contact
Community Contact
a Project of the Pacific Studies Center,
278A Hope Street
Mountain View, CA 94041
Other Contacts
After Hours (Emergency Response)


text:
Call for Essays About Any Aspect of Popular Culture, Present or Past
You could say the killer finds himself in his art. You could also say you've seen that art -- and this movie -- before.
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0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Just tried something different for my pizza making. I tried to use as much flour as possible added to a cup of water and still have a workable dough. I use 31/2 cups to 1 cup of water and 3 tbsp of oil. Mixed it for 10 minutes. The crust was outstanding. Just thought I'd pass it along.
I don't think there is any doubt about it, that when we talk about thin crust, there is two distinct and entirely different types.1. Cracker-like thin crust2. Bread-like thin crust


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Top Definition
Being a completely worthless bag of flesh and/or waste of air. People who fail at life usually suck at everything.
Our president, George W. Bush, Jr.
dari nion
Minggu, 16 Januari 2005
2 more definitions
what your facebook status would say if it was representative of what you are currently doing
Sally is failing at life.
315 Likes.
(Sally has 315 friends on facebook)
315 Likes.
(Sally has 315 friends on facebook)
dari wittyname
Sabtu, 16 Januari 2010
Failing at Life is being dead, put simply.
"Gramma's funeral was really sad. All they talked about was her failing at life."
dari Jess S-J
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Cylindrical Catalyst Pellet
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At the same time, species dissolved in the fluid react on the surface and inside the porous catalyst particles. This example models the fluid flow past the pellet, the transport of species through the liquid and pellet media, and the reaction that takes place in the pellet.


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text:
peter10 - copypaste bot
simonz - comodity tips?
peter10 - copypaste bot
The dude posting in many six-year old threads may or may not be one. No links yet, but short sentences, and who does that anyway?
jeremylin - pretty much random comments, with commercial links in the signature
Originally Posted by necro-lover
This was "adiso". He is not a bot. It was my failure, but his posts were very suspicious, very close to bots. Dear Michael, please unban him. I have sent him personal excuse.
My mistake too. In my defense, he did act very bot-like there.
Your claim do have multiple mistakes.
First of all I do not have multiple alternate identities on Phoronix.com .
And I never did this in the past.
I've always had only 1 account.
Second point is you can not quote me doing this.
And I will explain why I can say this for sure:
There are 2 ways to Quote a direct way in this format: "The quote in 100% the letter who writes this original" and then the name or nickname to sign the quite.
The second way is the indirect way in the own words of the person who quote another person the format is also very difference because no quotation marks "" pop up and its end with a opinion that a person means this in the past puplic or private.
The big difference is the first way is a statement of fact the second way is a "opinion".
The second way is valid even if someone writes you a private letter and this person can not force you to not quote him indirectly as a "opinion" of what he means in the past.
I did the second indirect way in the past but never a direct way as a statement of fact.
Now you really "waiting for personal apology" for a ~opinion~ in a indirect way without any copy-past ?
I'm sorry for quote you in a indirect way if the content do not represent your original meaning because you do have the right do show yourself in a light of truth.
Now show me for what I have to say sorry.


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Thursday, January 10, 2008
What it's like to be fat
And now, I'm still overweight so it's not easy to talk about it now. But I don't want to be one of those people who only talks about what it's like to be fat from the vantage point of a nice, safe size 6, where how horrible it was is only a vague, awful memory.
I want to talk about while I'm still in it because for once I want to give power to my words from within my own situation. I don't want to write some chirpy "after" post once I've reached my goal weight about how much it sucked to be fat. I want to write it while I'm living it and while it's real.
So what does it mean? Well, let's see.
You don't fit into chairs. When you go to a restaurant and someone suggests eating outside, you do a subtle scan of the chairs to see if they're sturdy, if the arms are narrow, if you'll be uncomfortably spilling over the sides of the seat during the meal. When somebody asks if you want to go to a baseball game, you hope they have tickets for the expensive, roomy seats. Nobody wants to sit next to you in the Metro or on the bus. You see every seat fill up around you while the one next to you remains resolutely empty. You try to pretend you don't notice, try to pretend you're just being polite when you give up your seat so that two people will sit down and one less person will have to stand.
Shopping sucks. You see all the gorgeous, pretty clothes in the normal departments as you bypass them on your way to the plus size department, where the clothes have gotten trendier every year but are still not fabulous, and the same pieces cost more. Most of them are designed for women with huge chests, which I don't have, and they fit all wrong. Looking at yourself in the dressing room mirror is depressing. Looking at yourself in any mirror is depressing. You don't want to go wedding dress shopping, because even though most dresses come in large sizes these days, the samples at the stores don't, and how are you supposed to pick out the most important dress of your life if you can't even try it on? Even with the zipper down?
You never think anyone wants to date you. When a guy starts talking to you, you assume he only wants to be friends. You have no confidence to make the first move, to even believe it when somebody makes a move on you. You assume you're misinterpreting. You hook up with guys because you think you need experience, because you think that if you were thin you'd already have that experience. It doesn't matter that much if you really like the guy.
But it's not just about dating. You never think pretty girls want to be friends with you either. You assume they're embarrassed to be seen with you, or can't understand what it's like to be you, or look down on you. You can never engage in those lighthearted conversations about clothes and shopping and guys and flirting and looking hot. You feel a chasm between you and them and it's impossible to tell if you're imagining it.
Nobody will ever talk about it. You can't make reference to it yourself. It's the elephant in the living room and if you ever mention needing to lose weight, or having to shop in the plus size department, people look awkward and look away. It becomes your job not to make people uncomfortable, not to talk about it, not to push it.
You think about it all the time. You are always aware not just of how you look but of how much space you take up, of whether your chair is sticking out too far from the table so that someone has to squeeze around you, whether you'll fit into the crowded elevator.
When your significant other tells you you're pretty, or beautiful even, you assume he's saying that because he thinks he should and not because he believes it. Not because you're self-deprecating or have low self-esteem or anything else; you can accept all other compliments from him, about being smart or funny or whatever, and you can even smile and say thank you when he says you're pretty, but you don't internalize it the way you do other compliments, you don't really believe it, because how could it be true?
You can't sit on your significant other's lap because you're afraid of crushing him. Sometimes you don't want to try new positions because you're afraid of crushing him.
Your health becomes scary, even if you're currently healthy. Overweight women have a higher chance of infertility, of complications during pregnancy, both with the baby and with themselves. You think about diabetes, high blood pressure, increased risk of certain types of cancer. You look around and notice that there are no fat old people. You think about dying young.
Reading women's magazines is an exercise in jealousy. The designer clothes featured never fit you. When they run a feature on the best clothing for every body type, there's one category for "curvy" or "full-figured" or whatever they're calling it that month. The implication is that if you're overweight, that's your body type. There isn't a category for overweight and pear-shaped, overweight and top-heavy, etc. But you can't look at all the other categories that might match your body type because the clothes featured there aren't available in your size. Tons of stores are entirely off-limits. When your significant other sees a pretty dress in the window of J. Crew and suggests that you look at it, you make some excuse because you don't want to admit that even the biggest size there is probably too small for you.
It hasn't ruined my life, it hasn't killed my self-esteem. I haven't let it destroy other areas of my life, things that make me happy. But it's always there. You can never forget that you're fat. You see your excessive size in every look you get, no matter the context. The reminders come from all around you. But they also come from yourself.
118 comments:
I don't know what to say that isn't going to sound trite, but this post REALLY spoke to me. At my heaviest, I weighed 240 pounds. At 5'1". I have been there. I still am there. Even though I'm not as heavy anymore, and I don't have to deal with the same kinds of struggles? That feeling will always be with me. Thank you for being brave enough to write this. Thank you.
And a kajillion, bajillion hugs. - Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:10:00 AM
- Swistle said...
Well done.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:11:00 AM
- LoriD said...
Jess, this was just amazing. I have a cousin who has struggled with her weight her whole life and I read each of your points thinking of her. The only time anyone would talk to her about her weight was when she would shed some pounds, and then there was a lengthy discussion of the program and the goals. Unfortunately, she's about 15 years older than you and her self-esteem has been eroded. Despite the fact that she has a PhD, a great job, a gorgeous home and a few really great friends, she is still not a happy person. I always wish she lived closer to me so I could help her lead a healthier lifestyle and hopefully regain some self-esteem.
You've done a great thing by writing this, Jess... both for people who have been where you have been and for those who can't truly understand what it's like to live with these challenges. - Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:36:00 AM
- lspoon said...
I had no idea about most of that. You always see people on shows like the Biggest Loser who talk about how they want to fit into one airline seat but that's the extent of my knowledge about the difficulties of being overweight. Thanks for opening my eyes.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:40:00 AM
- Tessie said...
This is very well written. I hope you are so proud of it.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:42:00 AM
- JMC said...
I'm with La in not knowing quite what to say. I've only sort of been there and/or am there. I've always been in-between fat and normal weight, so I've never had to worry about fitting in a chair or people sitting next to me on a bus or train. BUT, I've never felt that I looked good in trendy clothes, even though I've never worn plus sizes, because those clothes don't really look good on anyone over a size 6-8.
I definitely get what you're saying, ESPECIALLY now that I'm married into a family where every sister-in-law (and there are 7 of them) is no bigger than a size 4. I'm always self-conscious at family gatherings, though it gets easier every year, the more I realize that THEY don't care, it's ME thinking that I'm the biggest woman there and being self-conscious about it. - Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:43:00 AM
- Flibberty said...
Wow. This was very well done indeed.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:46:00 AM
- Deutlich said...
About 90% of what you wrote, I went through when I was overweight. I mean, I was borderline diabetic from it all and still didn't listen to the doctor about eating right & exercising for another 2 years after.
I remember in college that alllll the girls in my dorm hallway would get all prettied up for the night's festivities by borrowing each others outfits and getting all excited about the evening. I was always the outsider looking in. I could never muster up the self-esteem and I definitely did some crazy, uhm, "dating" just to validate myself.
But that's really neither here nor there. I'm incredibly proud of you for moving forward. your progress is amazing and I thank you for sharing this with us. - Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:46:00 AM
- Hazel said...
This is a very eye opening post. Well written!
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:54:00 AM
- violet said...
thank you for that. i'll just leave it there.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:57:00 AM
- Nilsa S. said...
This is an amazing post. Very brave of you. I find it so ironic when we adults get mad at kids, teenagers for teasing the fat kids in their classes ... when really, all they're doing is projecting what's taught in society and in their homes. At least they're brutally honest about it versus the hushed "oh my's" and talking behind your back.
I think it's amazing you're taking this journey. Despite how you've felt on the inside and looked on the outside, you still found true love. Clearly you are one heck of an amazing person. - Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:57:00 AM
- Rebecca said...
Thank you so much for such an honest post. As my weight crept up in my twenties, I went through everything you described. But, being ashamed...and as you said it is our job to make others feel comfortable...I never would talk about or even admit how painful some of the realities of being overweight are.
Good luck to you on your weight loss journey..and wish me luck on mine! - Thursday, January 10, 2008 8:02:00 AM
- nancypearlwannabe said...
This post was really lovely. I was always the chubby kid and no matter how hard I worked at it I still always felt like I had that inside me. Your post was very brave and it made me feel better that there are other people out there who felt the same way. Thank you.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 8:03:00 AM
- distractedspunk said...
Jess, this really gave me a new perspective on something I never thought about. I am so grateful to you for sharing this with blogland, because I think it's something most girls don't think about when not in that position, of what it actually means, rather than, "Oh my god, I am getting so fat." The layers of a seemingly complex lifestyle that both reprimands and ignores has never been so clear to me as this post has made it.
Again, thank you for that. I'm so proud of you for being open and honest enough to share that with us. - Thursday, January 10, 2008 8:19:00 AM
- Clink said...
Brilliant. Thank you for your honesty and bravery; you've definitely opened my eyes.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 8:29:00 AM
- Tilly said...
Thank you for sharing, Jess. You are so brave. It's crazy how no matter what size we are as woman, we are constantly thinking about our dissatisfaction with our body. You are not alone.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 8:31:00 AM
- blogging said...
this post is something to be proud of, jess. you are truly a talented and beautiful woman.
also, i echo clink's sentiments...thank you so much for your honesty and bravery; you've definitely opened my eyes. - Thursday, January 10, 2008 8:34:00 AM
- dreamgirl said...
this was a great read, and you made me so proud! thank you for opening my eyes. i have 100% faith in you that you will achieve whatever goal you are trying to reach, and we're all here to support you whenever you need!! :)
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 8:35:00 AM
- nicoleantoinette said...
Eye openingly wonderful in a heartbreaking way. Spectacularly written. Thanks for your honesty.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 8:39:00 AM
- pessimisticredhead said...
Thanks for being so honest. Your writing is very poignant.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 8:42:00 AM
- L Sass said...
What an amazing and honest post, Jess. The sad thing is that I have felt a lot of the things you write about--not thinking I'll look good in any clothes, not thinking I fit in with the pretty girls, not believing my significant other's compliments, even though I have never been seriously overweight.
Body image is a serious problem for women across the spectrum, and I'm really glad that you were able to confront it so honestly.
The key for me in the last few years has been focusing on being fit. When I focus on what my body CAN DO instead of how it LOOKS, I am much much happier. It's functional, not decorative! - Thursday, January 10, 2008 8:45:00 AM
- Le Petit Chic said...
Thanks for that powerful and honest post.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 9:01:00 AM
- Michelle said...
it took a lot of courage and strength to write that post jess. i am fortunate to not have faced the struggles that you have, but you definitely opened my eyes with this piece.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 9:13:00 AM
- Carrie M said...
thank you for being brave enough to write this. i don't know that i could, although i relate to much of it.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 9:15:00 AM
- 3carnations said...
That's a beautiful, brave and yet sad post.
At my heaviest (non-pregnant) I was 20 pounds heavier than I am now. At that point I was surely bordering on obese, if I wasn't already. I know what you mean about always thinking you don't measure up...
I was friends with two really pretty and thin gals, and sometimes I felt like the "ugly friend".
Ideally, I should probably weigh 15 pounds less. However, 10 pounds lighter would put me at the lowest weight of my adult weight, the weight that I was at when I got pregnant. I was happy with that weight...Truth be told, I'm also fine with this weight.
I'll never be thin, but I feel that I'm certainly average...Next to some thin friends, certainly I'm chunky...But I'm happy with myself, and don't compare myself anymore.
I think as I've grown older, I've learned that at any weight, you are "good enough" for the people who matter. It's only you who might feel not good enough...Then it's up to you, and it sounds like you are certainly owning that feeling, and I commend you for losing 50 pounds! - Thursday, January 10, 2008 9:23:00 AM
- Stephanie said...
'm so glad you decided to post this. You are a lovely person, inside and out and your writing just continues to get better and better.
Wonderful post, my dear. - Thursday, January 10, 2008 9:30:00 AM
- Alice said...
::hugs hugs hugs hugs::
awesome post.
while it's obviously not the same thing, i did spend the first 23 years or so of my life scrutinizing myself against every other girl i saw, being unable to wear normal stuff, assuming no guys could be attracted to me, etc.. but it was because i was waaaay too skinny and had no boobs or hips or anything vaguely feminine as a result, and assumed no one would ever want to cuddle a bag of clothes hangers.
congratulations on writing this, and on taking charge of your body. - Thursday, January 10, 2008 9:37:00 AM
- Amber said...
Hi there, I came over from La's blog. I thought perhaps you (and anyone else reading this with body-image issues) might enjoy a new show called "How to Look Good Naked".
It addresses this self-loathing so many of us women feel about our bodies today and I was extremely touched by the first episode. Lifetime is re-running them so you can still catch the first ep. I highly recommend it. It's...really quite amazing because it shows how our view of ourselves as women have become so distorted by the media.
I'm no fan of Lifetime, btw. Most of the shows on there are kinda sucky, IMO, but this one is really worth watching. - Thursday, January 10, 2008 9:42:00 AM
- The Ex said...
Holy shit Jess, you almost made me burst into tears at my desk. It's true, everything you're saying is true. EVERYTHING. And I'm glad I'm not alone and you aren't either.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 9:53:00 AM
- DG said...
Hey Jess, long time reader and first time commenter... What you wrote is inspiring and beyond eye-opening. Made me think of all the times I throw around the phrase "ugh I'm so fat" and should probably be a little more careful. And the no old fat people - never really thought of that. I don't know you well but I can tell that took a lot of guts and I'm so happy I was able to read it. Thank you.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 9:54:00 AM
- Pickles & Dimes said...
Beautifully written. Such a great and honest post; I loved it.
Congratulations on what you've accomplished, and good luck with the rest of your goals!
I'm proud of you. - Thursday, January 10, 2008 9:58:00 AM
- Banana said...
Very, very well put Jess. I felt myself nodding along in many places. Also, congratulatoins on the continued success.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 10:06:00 AM
- each of the two said...
that was real. real and not clouded with self-pity, just the facts.
incrediably brave.
i hope you re-read this and realized one of the many many many reasons your fiance says you are beautiful. - Thursday, January 10, 2008 10:06:00 AM
- Maxie said...
This was really beautiful and so honest. Amazing.
Congratulations on losing the 50. Believe me, I know how hard that is. - Thursday, January 10, 2008 10:12:00 AM
- Saly said...
I love this and the courage you show in sharing it is amazing.
Well done. - Thursday, January 10, 2008 10:14:00 AM
- A.P. said...
what an amazing post. i love how completely honest it is. you have shed a new light on a very sensitive topic for many people. weight is an issue for everyone. thanks for writing this. :)
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 10:19:00 AM
- Marie said...
Awesome post Jess. And you're an especially wicked awesome person yourself.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 10:25:00 AM
- Artemisia said...
This is an amazing post. Thank you for being so honest -- and sharing those thoughts and experiences that I either don't know about, or, I am ashamed to admit, know about and try to ignore. I am sorry.
Thank you.
I hope you are so proud of yourself! ; you really should be.
Also - this is wonderfully written. You express so much and with such clarity. Well done! - Thursday, January 10, 2008 10:39:00 AM
- BS said...
You're awesome.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 10:52:00 AM
- sally said...
I haven't read your blog before today and we've never met but I think you are living inside my head because these are very very similar thoughts to what I think almost every day.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 11:01:00 AM
- fairydogmother said...
What an incredible post, Jess. You have much to be proud of here!
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 11:13:00 AM
- Erin said...
This is a fantastic post. :) Thank you for being so honest :)
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 11:36:00 AM
- Penny said...
That took an awful lot of courage to say, and you said it so well. Congratulations on the courage then and now.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 11:43:00 AM
- Princess Extraordinaire said...
I hear so much of what you had to say as I grew up overweight and have stayed that way until recently - I applaud you for stating the truth as it is and how you see it becasue truth be told it's how we all see it. My hats off to you for tackling such a genuinely delicate subject ..
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 12:22:00 PM
- bridgid said...
This was a beautiful post, and I think you exhibit a huge amount of strength in just talking about it. You rock.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 12:38:00 PM
- Kat said...
As another long time reader but first time commentor - I just had to say WOW! What a powerful entry, both thought provoking and tear jerking - you are an amazing writer and congrats on the first 50 and good luck on your journey!
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 12:39:00 PM
- alyndabear said...
This was the most perfect post I've ever read - because I found myself nodding along to every SINGLE line.
Thankyou Jess - for sharing what it's like. I hear you, girl. - Thursday, January 10, 2008 1:22:00 PM
- Lacey Bean said...
Absolutely beautifully written!
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 1:39:00 PM
- d e v a n said...
Amazing post. Thank you.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 2:05:00 PM
- d e v a n said...
Amazing post. Thank you.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 2:05:00 PM
- tarsi210 said...
You said it the way it is, sister. It's exceptionally hard to live in a society where thin is the goal and you are simply bombarded by it all the time. Even if you are a strong person (as you clearly are), the constant reminder that you're in the Tubby Group wears on you. Thanks for the wonderful words that reveal what so many of us regularly feel.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 2:21:00 PM
- ana said...
Reading women's magazine is a self inflicted torture, whether or not you are fat. Because even if you are really skinny chances are you are not as skinny as those models in the magazine. This world is fashioned to make you give in, if you manage to not let it crush you, you are a winner. And clearly you are a winner hun.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 2:30:00 PM
- fully operational battle station said...
I just really really like you. And I love your honesty and willingness to tell it like it is. You really are awesome!
And as others mentioned, it helped open my eyes. It's such a bummer how every single woman has body image complexes. Mine? This may sound ridiculous but I hate the thought of looking too thin, to the point of anorexia. Which, coincidentally, my sister has.
Much love Jess! You are such an amazing writer and person....
Jamie - Thursday, January 10, 2008 3:41:00 PM
- autobiographyofmyfeet said...
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 4:09:00 PM
the honesty of this post is striking and captivating. we should all be so talented to write in such a beautiful, uncontrived way when discussing something so deeply personal =)
i'm so glad you did this for you. how we use words can say so much about us. & jess? you're absolutely beautiful. this post makes me wish i had more people like you in my life. more people like you in life in general. blame my boyfriend who has made me watch the star war trilogy (4-6) fils the past three nights in a row, but in my attempt to say something about your spirit, all i can think is: the force is great in you. - Thursday, January 10, 2008 5:32:00 PM
- Leaf, probably... said...
Wow. This must have been hard as hell to write, well done for doing it anyway.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 5:42:00 PM
- ttcmb said...
This post made me cry. Amazingly written and something that a lot of people never have to experience. Thank you for writing this post. I have never been there but it gives me more perspective and hopefully I can remember not to judge so quickly. I say that because it is hard not to working in the hospitals when the attitude is all around you. It is hard for me to even admit to the prejudice in the health field, because it makes me feel like a bad person, but it runs rampant in the hospitals I have been in. Next time I think something judgmental, I will come back and read this post. Thank you.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 6:34:00 PM
- theotherbear said...
Jess, what an amazingly written post.
I am so glad I clicked over and found your blog recently. - Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:27:00 PM
- Kim said...
I can relate to a lot to much of what you've said and it's incredibly well written, Jess.
And you are beautiful, you know that? :) - Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:41:00 PM
- daily editor said...
I found your post through La, and wow, I'm so glad I did. Sometimes I think I'm the only one who has these thoughts. I could write the "after" post about what it's like to not be fat anymore, but the honest truth is that I don't bask in the glory of being a size 6. I live in constant fear of becoming an 8 again, and then a 10, and so on. It's a constant struggle, and while other people may look at me and think I'm not at all overweight, all I see are my imperfections and whatever shape my body is when I look in the mirror, and I'm never happy with it. I get so sick of myself, but I still feel as awkward now as I did when I was a size 16.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:50:00 PM
- shay said...
That took some guts. I had no idea.
I'm by no means fat but I still struggle with some of the same issues with the trendy clothes. I think it's there for all of us.
I wish this wasn't so important in our culture:( - Thursday, January 10, 2008 8:55:00 PM
- Tarah said...
I am visiting from Jamies blog.
Thank you for a wonderful post. Your honesty is amazing. Thank you for this! - Thursday, January 10, 2008 10:05:00 PM
- sid said...
Loved your honestly. I'm not fat but I live in constant fear of picking up more than 3 kilograms. You do not want to be a member of my family. Being fat will not be tolerated.
- Thursday, January 10, 2008 10:14:00 PM
- Libby said...
i wish i'd had the courage to write something like this when i was losing on ww too. but i dont think i ever realized just how big i'd gotten. it is only in retrospect that my eyes saw.
i'm so so proud of you. - Thursday, January 10, 2008 10:48:00 PM
- Emblita said...
Wonderfully said Jess- I know that feeling fat is a horrible epidemic (I am not immune btw)and maybe the reason people shun overweight people is because they are feeling fat and guilty themselves.
I'm not sure if I said that right... but I hope you know what I mean.
In my case I have a horrible time finding anything that will fit my chest- everything seems to be made in a one-cup-size-fits-no-one mold. Ugh. - Friday, January 11, 2008 7:59:00 AM
Your strength, honesty, and spirit are both beautiful and inspiring. Thank you!
Dawn - Friday, January 11, 2008 8:31:00 AM
- A Margarita said...
Wow, that was really really brave. To open yourself up like that on the world wide web takes a lot of courage and I commend you for that. I had no idea that the world could be such a rough, judgemental place for overweight people. Good luck.
- Friday, January 11, 2008 9:04:00 AM
- heidikins said...
I know this is late, but I still think it counts. I love that you had the courage to post this, I love that you were honest, and I love that after reading this I love you a little bit more.
You are amazing girl, keep it up!
xox - Friday, January 11, 2008 10:43:00 AM
- AlieMalie said...
i read this yesterday but didn't have the chance to comment. i just want to say that it's amazing what you've written here and so damn true. like i said on La's blog, i've been there and am still there to an extent. and, well, there's a part of me that will always be there for the rest of my life. i don't think this sort of mindset fully leaves us - even when the fat is gone.
awesome post. thanks. :) - Friday, January 11, 2008 1:24:00 PM
- Becky said...
I don't know if I've commented on your blog before, but I've been a reader for a while now, and I had to say that this post made me cry. I've never been really big, but between my big Norwegian bones and being a little heavier than I should be anyway, I've always felt fat. Of course the way most people measure a "healthy" weight doesn't help (Die, BMI, Die!).
I totally identified with a lot of what you said, and I just wanted to thank you for being so honest. Sometimes reading things that your subconscious has thought about is exactly what you need to make you realize how you feel. Does that even make sense? - Friday, January 11, 2008 5:16:00 PM
- Chelsea Talks Smack said...
I'm really happy you posted this. This makes you brave and you should be proud of that, sometimes being able to SPEAK OR TYPE about something that you usually only think if the bravest thing you can do....and I also think that is when a feeling of acceptance with who you are, where you are, etc comes in. Is when you can acknowledge in the open how you feel about it.
Those who matter in your world won't mind if you talk about it...if you feel the way you do. Those who matter in your world also don't mind how you look.
"You hook up with guys because you think you need experience, because you think that if you were thin you'd already have that experience" AND THIS...I promise, is not true. :) lol
Thank you for the honest post, I think you're a gem. - Friday, January 11, 2008 5:20:00 PM
- Princess Pointful said...
So I'm joining the club of people who love this post.
(found you through La, btw.)
I feel like I should put this on bulletin boards all over the place.
Thank you for having the courage to write this. Hopefully it helps more than a few people open their eyes. - Friday, January 11, 2008 6:13:00 PM
- bubandpie said...
Powerful words.
- Friday, January 11, 2008 7:29:00 PM
You brought me to tears and at every weight in my life (even the thinnest I've been) I have felt these things. Years and years of a painful eating disorder will forever distort how I see myself. It's something you never fully recover from.
You are brave and honest and strong.
And an inspiration, as well. - Friday, January 11, 2008 8:50:00 PM
i love you always
- Saturday, January 12, 2008 12:02:00 PM
- seven said...
Thanks for your honesty. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who struggles with this.
- Saturday, January 12, 2008 1:33:00 PM
- Jess said...
Crawling out of lurkdom to say beautiful and very touching. Thank you.
- Saturday, January 12, 2008 8:01:00 PM
- maggie said...
Ugh, I cried.
I easily weigh about 60-70 pounds more than either of my two best friends. One of them wanted to celebrate her birthday at a Korean spa, where all the girls walk around naked, and I had to think up an excuse because NO WAY IN HELL am I walking around naked with my two size zero friends. They MUST have been kidding. And I still can't decide if my size didn't occur to them and therefore didn't matter, or if they were just inviting me to be nice. - Saturday, January 12, 2008 8:13:00 PM
- flutter said...
I don't think I have ever felt like anyone gets it. Until I read this. You get it. I wish you didn't, but you do.
Thank you. - Saturday, January 12, 2008 10:04:00 PM
- Stefanie said...
79 comments? Wow. Do you really need my thoughts, too? ;-)
I just wanted to echo the people who said they never really thought about a lot of these aspects before, and I'm so sorry you've felt that way so often.
Also, have you seen that new show "How to look good naked" yet? It's on Lifetime Friday nights, and it's hosted by Carson What's-His-Name (the blond guy from "Queer Eye"). If not, I think you should check it out. (OK, I've seen only one episode, but it made me feel all warm and fuzzy and "woman power now" and stuff.) :-) - Sunday, January 13, 2008 10:06:00 AM
- Ashley said...
I just found your blog, and I think at just the right time.
Something my mom has always told me the skinny girls, the looks will eventually fade and wrinkles will find them...one thing that will never go away is the type of person you are.
Let me tell you, you are a beautiful person, you may not feel like it, but what you wrote is something that came from the heart and that is special.
YOU GO GIRL...I will be cheering for you at the finish line! - Sunday, January 13, 2008 6:14:00 PM
- Hiya, I'm Kristie. said...
What a tough post, but you wrote it so well. You are brave and honest and I think we all appreciate that.
- Monday, January 14, 2008 4:49:00 PM
- Ms. Karen said...
The chairs... I just love it when folks bring out those trendy little folding chairs and expect me to plant my fat fanny in it.
Or movie theater seats that leave bruises on thighs...
restaurant booths that are too narrow, and the benches go down so far you end up sitting with your boobs resting on the table where you can fill your bra with dropped food.
This is an excellent post and very well written. Thank you for sharing it. - Monday, January 14, 2008 10:05:00 PM
- Hope said...
Jess, I've always loved the comments you leave on other people's blogs but only just came to read you now after La's referral.
I'm so glad I did!
Because this was an achingly accurate portrait of not only what it feels like to be fat, but what it feels like to be different from that blasphemous thing called 'normal'.
Your words really touched me and I just wanted to you to know that. :) - Wednesday, January 16, 2008 2:31:00 AM
- Chaotic Joy said...
I have never been here before, I linked over from Bub & Pie.
Thank you for writing this. - Wednesday, January 16, 2008 7:26:00 PM
- claire said...
I'm really late in leaving this comment (i've been trying to catch up today) and I wanted to add my comment to the huge pile of 85! comments.
ME TOO. Everything you said here, ME TOO. Except i'd like to add the feeling that everyone is looking at you and judging you when you enter a crowded room. I haven't been to a club since i was a teenager because of how uncomfortable and self-conscious i feel. Ugh.
Good for you (us!) for making the change. I hope these feelings disappear over time for both of us. - Thursday, January 17, 2008 8:43:00 AM
- Julie Pippert said...
This was moving, brilliant, spot on magnificent.
- Thursday, January 17, 2008 2:57:00 PM
- Anna said...
This is a really touching and true post. I hear you girl- I hear you. I am not brave enough yet to touch this painful subject for myself. Our weight becomes our shield of invisibility against the world.
Your post made me tear up. I hope you revisit and explore this issue again :) - Tuesday, January 22, 2008 6:47:00 AM
- Merle said...
I am ashamed of myself as I read your blog. I am thankful to you for giving me perspective. The image of you sitting alone on the bus will never leave me. There are so many things that we never speak of. I am grateful that you said the truth.
- Tuesday, January 22, 2008 6:48:00 PM
- the new girl said...
I am fumbling with words right now and I feel like whatever I say isn't going to express my thoughts very well.
The way you describe your feelings and experiences is so real that it sticks in my heart.
My mom struggled so much with her weight and your descriptions take me right back.
Very awesome post. - Tuesday, January 22, 2008 6:57:00 PM
- Alicia said...
Hello, I saw this post on Indie Bloggers. I just want to say that I hear you. I go through my own battle, a lot of it in my head, about my weight. I KNOW that I think I'm heavier than I am (I have lost about 45 lbs; I was up to 250 at one point--I was fat for me) but when you are 5'10" with extra padding, it isn't the same as being average height with extra padding; you go into those cute, cheap stores like Vanity and Rue 21 and nothing fits. It will never fit. It comes to your belly button because it's made for SHORT people. So you feel gigantic no matter how much weight you lose.
10 years ago, was about 50lbs lighter than I am even now, running sometimes twice a day and not eating well just to look a certain way. I lost 20 lbs. in a few months...and I still fit into the largest size at Express. These days I get it, my height and structure make it tough to fit some clothes (for example, J. Crew was not a reality for me even when I was skinny) but some clothes look fabulous.
Also, I noticed that you are getting into running (?) That's great! I am also training to run a local 5K this spring. Good luck to you! - Friday, January 25, 2008 2:04:00 AM
- Jummy said...
I'm so glad that you linked to this entry on today's entry (even though I'd like to think I would have found it eventually).
You echo many of the feelings that I feel and you've expressed yourself so well. I relate completely to having the seat beside me go empty on buses, especially in the winter time (the added bulk of winter jackets), looking at clothing in stores and magazines, knowing they don't come in your size. And boy do I ever relate when it comes to men: any man who talks to me must only be interested in being friends; I don't even dare think otherwise because it would be too painful.
Congratulations on the weight loss and on your journey to be your best self (healthwise). You're inspiring! - Friday, January 25, 2008 7:52:00 AM
- cady said...
wow, that was so powerful and very well written.
- Thursday, February 07, 2008 9:21:00 AM
- Lara said...
Oh my gosh, Jess. I have seen you commenting on other sites I love and I don't know why I didn't click over until today. Because, seriously, are we the same person? (I think we have the same body-type, same thoughts, etc etc). I heart you, and I know exactly how you feel. Except I have never been brave enough to post about it. Perhaps this will inspire me to try. (Um, also, how did you lose 50 pounds?)
- Friday, February 08, 2008 3:48:00 PM
- Travel Junkie said...
I love your blog. I had been a sexy size six most of my adult life, that is until after my son was born. Now, I am 178 lbs at 5ft 4 in. I HATE MY BODY NOW. I should not complain because I have not endured the pain you described, but yet I feel that I totally understand you. I am desperate to lose this weight. I wont feel attractive again until I do. I appreciate your candid, honest expression of your world. I will be creating a blog that will document my struggle and journey with weight loss. I would love to post a link on my page that leads to your blog. I hope that is ok with you. I want my readers to be blessed with having read your story. - Saturday, February 16, 2008 1:05:00 AM
- Cheri said...
Found you thru Flibberty, so glad I did. This post is amazing and unfortunately heartbreakingly true.
- Wednesday, February 20, 2008 1:34:00 AM
- Jackie Star said...
Oh My God, its me your talking about me. Jess you write the truth!
Love every word!
Jackie - Monday, March 10, 2008 8:42:00 PM
- Erica said...
This post is why blogs were invented. So that one day, you could write these words and I could read them and say thank you.
- Wednesday, April 02, 2008 4:32:00 PM
I never realized that other people feel the exact same way as I do. Thank you for sharing that as I'm not that brave.
- Thursday, April 10, 2008 1:44:00 AM
- Mandy said...
Thank you for writing this and for having the courage to write it. I am fighting my own battle now and its a tough one. Its an intensely private one as well. I've lost a lot of weight before and gained it back. This time though, its time for a permanent change and I'm ready for it. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- Wednesday, April 23, 2008 8:17:00 PM
- sandra said...
Just discovered your blog through La's, and had to say that this was a really, really great post.
- Saturday, July 05, 2008 7:51:00 PM
- Rassles said...
I just learned about you over at Ask and Receive, and I just want to reiterate all the above comments: You have just described my life. Thank you for being so relative and honest, and for writing this.
- Thursday, July 10, 2008 11:17:00 AM
- internetfruit said...
- This comment has been removed by the author.
- Friday, July 25, 2008 6:59:00 PM
- internetfruit said...
Beautiful, and very brave. I stand on the "after" end, but I have to stay I still feel some of those things. While I was losing my weight I kept waiting and waiting to "get out of it" but you never really do. At least I didn't. I still feel like my weight is an elephant in the room, even when no one there knows I used to be overweight. And I still don't believe my husband tells me I am beautiful because he means it. At times I don't trust my beautiful friends. And I don't look back on it and think how awful it was, because it still IS awful. I am and always was that overweight girl who boys prank called on the weekend. Those feelings don't change once you lose the weight. Even today, eight years later - I read your words and it is me you are writing about. Thank you.
- Friday, July 25, 2008 7:02:00 PM
- kate said...
I like that you included the part about not making people uncomfortable.. along with everything else, as it was all excellent.
That's definitely something I think about. Don't talk about it, don't make comments about clothing or food or working out. When I forget and I do, people's eyes go straight to my stomach, and then away awkwardly.
Thank you for this whole entry, it's amazing. - Sunday, December 28, 2008 9:51:00 PM
- harry said...
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- Thursday, January 15, 2009 3:13:00 AM
- Kelly said...
Wow. Thank you for writing this. It speaks the words that are so hard for so many of us to say. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
http://nosuchthingasjustyouraveragegirl.blogspot.com/ - Wednesday, February 11, 2009 3:39:00 PM
- sanjay said...
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Thank you for writing this. I feel like it has helped me see into the life and feelings of some of my most cherished loved ones.
You have done a great job in writing this, and as a person who has wondered what it is like to be overweight, it has helped me empathise better. - Saturday, July 25, 2009 9:09:00 PM
- Sunny Dee said...
Thank you for writing this. I'm a college student and I have struggled with my weight my entire life. No one who has never been overweight can possibly understand what it's like. You can't sit on someone's lap and you can't give someone a piggy back ride. You can't go to pool parties; you wear pants when it's 90 degrees out because shorts are too revealing; when you're getting basketball jerseys you're the only one writing XL on the sheet. Your post opened my eyes to even more limitations that I hadn't even realized. I'm really motivated now to lose this weight that has been holding me back for years.
- Tuesday, September 01, 2009 4:21:00 PM
Everything you said is poignantly true. As a person who is 5'6'' and WAS 240 and now is 110, I can truly tell you that if you have body issues, fat or skinny, you will always feel insecure and unhappy. Sure, I have happy moments. Especially now that I am constantly referred to as the skinny girl. However, it doesn't matter, people still talk about you behind your back. And sure, I used to WISH for this sort of gossip...but now that it's happening, you still feel yourself trapped in a void you can't ever fill. I truly wish you all the best, and hope that you can conquer whatever goal you pursue. However, may I just suggest that sometimes the grass may be a bit greener on the other side, but it still wilts.
- Wednesday, September 16, 2009 4:39:00 PM
- susical said...
This was eye opening for me. My mother was very overweight for my entire childhood, until she lost ~150 lbs through Weight Watchers 7 years ago (and she's been hungry ever since - she has struggled a lot), and as a child I was very insensitive to her. I didn't understand. I am beginning to understand, and I wish that we had a more open dialogue about what it is like - me and my mother, and also as a society. From my perspective (for whatever that is worth), it's starting to be less of a taboo subject for pop culture, and I hope discourse such as this will become more common (and high profile) as well.
- Tuesday, October 13, 2009 9:48:00 AM
- Dolcy said...
I never imagined how your life can be this hard just because your look doesn't fit the society,but I had a theory I apply since high school that every overweight girl has tremendous something about her, weather personality,intelligence or kindness..the net result:I have great friends which their look can't stop them from being admirable..just like you seems to be :)
- Friday, October 23, 2009 10:52:00 AM
I totally got you when you were talking about how everyone thinks pluz sized people are lazy and weak-willed. I am a teenage girl and I have a thyroid condition that makes me overweight. In high school I weigh so much more than everyone I know. But it is impossible for me to lose more than a couple pounds at a time. Last year I was so depressed with myself I pretty much went anorexic, again, nothing happened. Don't you want to wear a sign on your shirt that says, "I'm trying to lose the weight, ok?" I do, and I give you much props for writing this because I am so there it's not even funny. You did awesome, thanks for writing this.
- Monday, November 16, 2009 1:05:00 PM
- Waiting Lisa said...
This is a great post. I have a million stories like yours that I have never had the guts to write about. It's the one topic I stay away from on my blog, despite being something I deal with daily.
Well done. - Tuesday, January 11, 2011 6:10:00 PM
- Penis Enlargement Pills said...
You made some good points there. I did a search on the topic and found most people will agree with your blog.
- Saturday, May 14, 2011 2:36:00 AM
- Neuse River North Carolina said...
great post jess,
well done - Tuesday, June 12, 2012 10:56:00 PM
- RandomBlogger said...
Whether or not they show it, everyone has things they don't like about themselves. The media is always trying to make us feel like we're not good enough; if they can make us feel like we NEED their products, then they're more likely to get our money. I haven't been overweight, but I still have plenty of things I don't like about myself. When I look through the magazines, I also feel jealous.
I just don't want you to feel like you're alone in all this. It sounds like you have had some specific people in your life who have repeatedly put you down. Perhaps this could be family, classmates, "friends". If it is possible to cut these people out of your life, I would definitely do so. I have also had people in my life who claimed to care about me, but at the same time they made it their mission to make me feel terrible about myself. They targeted so many different aspects about me. I think self-confidence is something that really starts at home and at a young age. If you have never had the chance to build self-confidence because certain people have always cut you down, then it's hard to build it on your own. I had to cut several people out of my life entirely before I started getting some self-confidence...and it has been a tough road that I'm still on. Gradually I have started realizing that those terrible things people said to me weren't true at all -- so what my face looks like this, I have dark hair here, I've got a lot of zits there...none of that matters or defines me as a person. For me, the more I focus on the negative things people have said about me, the more I feel out of control of my life.
I know developing self-confidence is soooooo much easier said than done. For me, getting away from negative people in my life was also extremely difficult, and it has taken me years and years to do so. Sometimes, you can't get away from certain negative people -- perhaps they are your family, someone you work with, someone you go to school with. I wish there was advice I could give on how to ignore these people. It's a terrible situation to not be able to get away from people who are verbally and emotionally abusive. The best advice I could give is to try to associate as much as you can with people who make you feel good about yourself and who reassure you that NO ONE has the right to make you feel bad about yourself. For me, finding these kinds of people has taken years. I think the best thing for me personally was when I started seeing a counselor who specialized in abuse of a kinds, including verbal and emotional. Hearing on a regular basis that people did NOT have the right to treat me this way was very empowering. It has taken time, but I am starting to see a glimmer of hope ahead, which is much more than I can say for the past few years.
I don't know how much all of this applies to you, but I hope some of it has been helpful. For the parts that haven't been helpful, take them and toss them out the window. YOU have the right to feel good about yourself, and NO ONE has the right to make you feel otherwise! - Tuesday, September 11, 2012 4:22:00 PM


text:
this wiki
George | |
Biographical information | |
Alias |
Astaroth |
Physical description | |
Species | |
Gender |
Male |
Hair color |
Blond |
Eye color |
Skin color |
Pale |
Special characteristics | |
Abilities |
Basic vampire abilities |
George was a vampire who lived in the 14th century and went by the name "Astaroth" while in London. He was the creator of Alistair.
George loved the idea of taunting humans by making them believe that he was a prince from Hell. He led on humans in love with the occult, asking them to sacrifice everything they held most dear in exchange for his supernatural assistance, because he liked to see how far humans would go for their goals even though he had the power to take it all by force.
Alistair's father wanted to make his son king of England, and believed that George, who went by the name Astaroth at that time, could give him that power by changing him into a vampire. After Alistair was taken to the secret tunnels of London, George gave him a few pointers: to stay out of the sun and avoid drawing too much attention, then he bit him and disappeared.
When Alistair returned home as a newborn vampire, he found the house empty and realized that his father had made the deal of transforming him in exchange for the rest of his family to George.
It is unknown if George still lives in the 21st century.
Physical appearance
George had long, blond, curly hair. His beauty was so mesmerizing that it caught Alistair's attention.
His existence was only mentioned in The Twilight Saga: The Official Illustrated Guide.
Nomads | |
Current nomads | Alistair • Boris • Charles • Charlotte • Fred • George • Huilen • Jennifer • Joham • Luca • Makenna • Mary • Maysun • Nahuel • Peter • Randall • Serena • Shelly • Steve • Toshiro |
Former nomads | Cold Man • Cold Woman • Garrett • James • Laurent • Victoria |


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text: I have a Kaveri APU and fan speed was not a problem until now. The only time I heard the fan was when I entered the UEFI setup and let it sit there for ~half an hour, this makes the APU heat up like crazy. During normal operation under Linux the only noises I hear from the case are caused by the HDD/optical unit. This might change during the summer when the ambient temperature will rise, but I don't think it's an option to let the APU fry just so it's silent. I'd rather switch it to a lower TDP.


text:
Top Definition
When a female grasps a male phallus and taps the helmet during a sexual encounter. This act is akin to testing the functionality of a microphone during a live event.
Look chick, I want you to grab my meat rattle and give it a mike check.
автор: KDes
5 октября 2010


text:
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text: A rope and handle is what ultimately separates wakeboarding, wakeskating and wakesurfing from every other board sport in the world; our link to the power and motion that allows us to walk on water. A good rope is one of the most critical pieces of equipment in your arsenal and will allow you to go bigger, ride longer and have less frustrations. Our phenomenal selection of wakeboard ropes and handles will allow you to ditch the gloves and generate more power while riding. We currently offer a full line of ropes and handles from Straight Line, Accurate, Liquid Force, Proline and others and nearly all of our lines come with Free 3-Day Shipping and our Performance Guarantee. So ditch that old ratty rubber handle and pick up a fresh new grip that will make your hands oh so happy.


text:
Cop gets stuck in tree trying to save cat
Firefighters get quite the chuckle when called to rescue NYPD officer
A New York City police officer is forced to make an embarrassing 911 call after getting stuck in a tree while trying to save a cat.
Officer Dane Natto responded to several 911 calls about a cat stuck up in a tree on Monday. He set up cones around the tree in Queens and lit a flare, and was soon surrounded by elementary school students, the New York Post reported.
The cat repeatedly bound away from Natto, even when he climbed up the tree in an attempt to snatch it down.
Soon, Natto found himself stuck and, after a good laugh, his partner called 911.
When firefighters did arrive, "they didn't go straight to helping him," a witness told the Post. "They all gathered around and laughed at him. They took their time just crowding around. It seemed the officer was enjoying himself."
Firefighters eventually used a bucket ladder to free the kitty and Natto, The Associated Press reported.
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text:
(based on 40 reviews)
of respondents would recommend this to a friend.
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Reviewed by 40 customers
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most comfortable
By tom
from tomball, tx
About Me Avid Cyclist
Comments about Louis Garneau Pro Feel 2 Bib Shorts - Nashbar Exclusive:
very good on long rides. More comfortable than other bibs that cost more.
Comment on this review
my 2nd pair
By Chen
from Ocala, Florida
See all my reviews
my 2nd pair of Pro feel Bibs, they wear like iron, hardly know your in them, great shamis and pad. still using my old pair ( almost 2 years and 1400 miles) just thought I would grab a spare pair!
(0 of 1 customers found this review helpful)
tighter than others I had purchased.
By Ron
from Austin, TX
About Me Casual/ Recreational
I have bought several pairs of the Louis Garneau Pro Feel bib shorts and have liked them very much. This pair was much tighter than others I had bought. It appears to be missized, but I stretched it as much as I could so I could wear them.
Great Value
By CB43
from el paso
Very comfortable
(3 of 3 customers found this review helpful)
Comfortable and at a good price
By velolester
from Gallipolis, Ohio
I like the classic black bibs. I don't expect the longevity that I may get from one of my expensive bibs. These do not have the rubber leg things to keep them from riding up. That is ok. They are so much more comfortable! They do ride up a little but I will trade that for comfort. Honestly for the price that I paid for these I would rather have two pair of these for the price I paid for my "good" pair. These are a steal at the price. Size is true to most cycling clothing. I am 6'1 and 180 and xl fit me comfortably.
Louis Garneau Pro Feel 2 bib shorts
By no nickname
from Warren, MI
the price was great, and I'm happy with the shorts...don't know how they'll wear though...have worn them less than 20 times...but so far, I'm very pleased.
Wonderfully built
By Travie Lu
from Champaign, Illinois
These bibs are my first pair of any sort of bottoms in my biking experience. I love the compression and weight of the bibs. I am 6' 5" and weigh 200lbs. I bought a medium and it fits every so snuggly and works great.
OK, but runs small
By thermo
from hartford, ct
Get the next size up! These run small.The material is lightweight and cool.The chamois is not the best.Ok for the price, but not great. I guess you really do need to drop a c-note for a decent pair of bibs.
Nice Bibs
By DJC
from Pasco, WA
Sizing is good. Will buy another.
Great buy!
By CMS
from NW Iowa
The most comfortable shorts I own. The padding is enough for comfort but remains cool. My first ride with these was 70 miles and I thought I should order another pair or two.
Item No. » LG-PR2S


text:
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text:
Lonnie 113 wrote:
One must wonder why Coach DUNCEleavy would play all of his starters for virtually all of the 4th quarterwhile "nursing" a 20+ point lead and the Blazers using Dan Dickau, Luke whatever and others. Clips were playing their 4th game in 5 nights..with a another big game 36 hours away. A little rest would have been nice. Me thinks Sam got thrown out on purpose.
04/14/07 16:05:56
runescape gold wrote:
there were some fights at the game, none of which involved me even though i took the liberty of taunting and needling everyone in sight. darrell was there in the PR section above where he usually sits. the clipper nation was well-represented, surprisingly. of course once the lakers lost the classic comeback of their fans was to point at the championship banners. kareem isn't walking through that door, magic isn't walking through that door, shaq walks through that door for another team w/ an extra ring. so kindly stfu, laker douchebags.
04/11/08 20:36:25
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Derivative:1.6 LX 4DR UP TO 3 Y
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Are the gaps between panels equal? (if not the car could have been involved in an accident)
Look at the seals around the doors and windows for paint, if you see any the car has probably been re-sprayed, ask why.
Will the car need new tyres soon? Anything less than 5mm is getting a bit thin.
Are the tyres worn unevenly? The tracking is probably out and will need re-aligned ASAP.
Make sure the seatbelts work or you'll never make it through the next MOT.
Signs of high-mileage are: worn drivers seat, shiny steering wheel and gear knobs, worn pedal rubbers.
Damp carpets can be a sign of damaged seals around windows and doors.
Look at the steering column for signs of damage, this could indicate attempted theft.
Check the spare wheel and make sure the car has a jack.
Have you checked the VIN number against the vehicle documents?
Is there oil around the re-fill cap (this suggests the engine uses too much oil, ask the owner).
Is there oil or water dripping out anywhere around the engine compartment, this could be expensive to fix.
Is the oil and water low? This suggests the owner does not maintain the vehicle well.
Look at the oil filler cap, if it has a white residue the cylinder head has most likely gone, this is very expensive.


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