text:
Kantronics KPC-3+
Kantronics KPC-3+ -- Packet Communicator
Contents |
[edit] Overview
Kantronics KPC-3+ is engineered for dependable and versatile digital communications. This unit reflects many years of Kantronics experience and is built with an eye toward emerging applications. The KPC-3+ can fill a variety of roles. In use around the world, Kantronics Packet Communicators set the standard by which others are measured!
As a single-port radio modem/TNC compatible with the characteristics of UHF/VHF transmission bands, the KPC-3+ can be paired with a UHF/VHF radio to serve the following functions and applications:
- "Keyboard to keyboard" communications
- Digipeater
- Personal Mail Box
- Local area node
- Remote control devices
- Remote access of telemetry
- Network node operation (requires optional K-Net™ firmware)
- BBS operations and message forwarding
- GPS position transmitting and tracking (requires external GPS receiver with NMEA-0183 data output)
- Data storage and retrieval
- EMWIN Weather Information (additional software required)
You can carry a KPC-3+ into the field with a radio to form a mobile data terminal, or (with the addition of an external GPS receiver) a GPS mobile "tracker". Its flexible power requirements (6 ~ 25 Vdc) allow for maximum versatility. You can achieve many hours of use by installing a 9 volt battery inside the KPC-3+. Battery life can be extended by disabling the LED displays through a simple keyboard command.
[edit] Features
- "NEWUSER" mode provides a quick start for packet newcomers
- Large capacity internal mailbox and mail forwarding feature
- GPS operation mode allows use with APRS® or other geolocation software
- Remote Control and telemetry functions with two A/D inputs and two control line outputs
- Low power requirements (9 volt battery power capability)
- Network node functions with standard "KA" Node or optional K-Net™ firmware
- Optional K-Net node network firmware retains regular TNC functions
- BBS, KISS, XKISS, HOST, TERMINAL, GPS and MODEM operating modes
- "Online" HELP feature
- Upgradeable as new firmware is released
- Digital control of audio drive level -- set from keyboard or by remote control
- Motorola® HC11 central processor
- 128k memory standard; 512k optional
- Comes with data connector, data wire, coaxial power plug, detailed manual & software
- Usable with base, mobile or hand-held radios
[edit] Accessories
[edit] Hardware
- Clock Kit
- Firmware Version 9.1 EPROM
- Power Supply -- AC/DC converter for 12 VDC power compatible with all Kantronics TNC's.
- Cable Kits
- 1200 Cable Kit
- RS-232 Cable (not a kit)
[edit] Software
- PacTerm 2.0 - PacTerm 2.0 (floppy) for DOS.


text:
We answer all types of Neurology/Neurological questions about the brain, spinal cord, and peripheral nerves. Include your age, sex, current meds, and known diagnoses, upcoming/completed appointments, tests, or procedures. We are not physicians. We help explain medical terminology and give support.
Spotlight: Member Stories
I'm a PA student, graduating in December (I hope). I have a long history as a patient including six unrelated surgeries, and a couple of other hos...More
Helpful Tips
Why guess about tests? We'll help you decipher the words used
Patients often wait weeks or months to see a specialist, or get a long-awaited for test. MRIs, CATs and numerous blood or neuro tests leave ... More
25 found this helpful
- Preparing for Your Neurology Appointment - Exam Part 1
- It hurts! It jerks! My body's doing something...strange...
- Why does the doctor treat me like my symptom is "Nothing"?
Helpful Resources
Related News
Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA
You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Text Only Martha Stewart Home Office with Avery Holiday Flourish Shape Shipping Labels , 2 per 4 x 6" sheet Avery Pre-Designed Templates for Microsoft Word
Personalize this template for holiday shipping and mailing, or for gifts.
Compatible Products:
Free Offer! Avery Toolbar
The Avery Toolbar lets you get templates, tips and more--right from your web browser. Download it free today!


text:
The Council for Higher Education Accreditation (CHEA) has announced that the Defense Language Institute Foreign Language Center (DLIFLC) is one of the winners of the 2011 CHEA Award for Outstanding Institutional Practice in Student Learning Outcomes. DLIFLC was recognized as "the foreign language teaching institution of the U.S. military" which "focuses on enhancement of language skills of military and non-military personnel."
The CHEA Award was established in 2005 to recognize institutions that have been exceptional in developing and applying evidence of student learning outcomes to improve higher education quality and accountability. A committee selected from higher education institutions, accrediting organizations and the public judged the winners on the basis of four award criteria: 1) articulation and evidence of outcomes; 2) success with regard to outcomes; 3) information to the public about outcomes and 4) use of outcomes for educational improvement.
In addition to DLIFLC, CHEA awards also go to the James Madison University's Social Work Program; Miami Dade College; and Southern Illinois University Edwardsville School of Pharmacy.
"CHEA is pleased to acknowledge the work of these institutions and programs in providing examples of institutional progress and effective approaches to the use of student learning outcomes," said CHEA President Judith Eaton.
(L-R) Dr. John Dill, chief Civilian Personnel Management Service, CHEA President Dr. Judith Eaton, DLIFLC Provost Dr. Donald Fischer, and Dr. Robert Savukinas, Associate Dean of Academic Affairs.
Photo by Natela Cutter, Strategic Communications


text:
A MS fanboy has spoken. That's true when comes to first words in your sentence, but you forgot to say Windows has to die. Only fools want Windows to remain #1.
I won't ever buy Windows 7, that's for sure. My PC can handle it, but I can't. It seems to be better than XP in some things, but coming back from Linux to Windows is like selling a house and going to live under the bridge. You're not safe with it. Let's change topic and comment how great antivirus software I discovered yesterday. This is what Windows fanboys like talking about. I forgot to add is broken crap and paying for crap is stupid (except when you're a gamer).They are to cheap to buy windows or a decent pc that can handle windows 7, so they roll linux.
They then login to phoronix to troll any topic that is not about linux, spewing great comments about
how amazing KMS and udev is (lol).


text:
For the second year in a row, many of horse racing's top owners have pledged to race their juvenile (2-year-old) starters without race-day medication.
To continue reading this article, become a member of TheHorse.com.
It's FREE and you'll get full access to more than 20,000 articles, video, free reports & more.


text:
Covercraft Reflectect Car Cover C15692RS
Reflectect Car Cover
- Part #: C15692RS
- with 2 Mirror Pockets
Free ShippingSelect your vehicle details above to ensure item compatibility.
- 10% Price Drop – Prices already reduced, ends May 8th!
- Protect your vehicle from the sun and the weather with the Covercraft ReflecTect Car Cover
- Special reflective Silver finish blocks harmful UV rays to guard your interior and prevent heat build-up
- Urethane-coated polyester is dust repellant and water resistant
- Custom-patterned for a perfect fit on your exact year, make, and model vehicle
- Hook and loop fasteners secure the cover in place
- Lightweight and compact - easy to store
- 3 Year Warranty
Don't let the sun wreak havoc on your vehicle's interior. The Covercraft ReflecTect Car Cover is specially designed to prevent excessive heat buildup and dashboard damage from the sun. It's custom-formed to your vehicle for a perfect fit.
Your Covercraft ReflecTect Car Cover is crafted from a urethane-coated polyester fabric that is water resistant and guards your vehicle from dust. Its UV-reflective silver finish blocks the sun's rays, preventing excessive temperatures and dashboard damage, even when the sun is at its harshest. The custom-designed ReflecTect Car Cover fits perfectly on your vehicle, and includes mirror pockets and hook and loop fasteners for secure and total coverage.
Your Covercraft ReflecTect Car Cover is backed with a 3 Year Warranty.
Covercraft C15692RS fits:
- 1998-2004 Chrysler Concorde


text:
order by phone... 1-800-828-4548
order by item number...add items to my cart
Browse more:
These very soft pastels match the colors of Art Spectrum's Colourfix papers, boards, and primers, enabling artists to easily "bring back" the background color into the later stages of a pastel painting.
Please select one of your Lists or create a new List.
Your cart is currently empty.
CA Prop 65
Material Safety Data Sheet
® Art Spectrum is a registered trademark.


text:
Change log
Cameron Kenneth Knight (17):
d4bad92: Initial commit
bf1dcee: Make a bit of logic more understandable
abf29ba: Change name to PitBull Unit Frames 4.0
48ddd7d: Add Version to TOC
d73cfe4: Change @debug@ to @alpha@
2eab160: Add the ability to have * keys in tables, no ** yet.
2dc91db: Make sure to remove star defaults when logging out
d9ac7df: Small bugfixes, make it create initial frames (currently only player).
f405b7e: Add basic module support.
aa7818b: A whole bunch of changes.
8a5a4f5: Cleanup BetterStatusBar.lua
6dba16c: Separate out some logic, simplifying things.
fa24d4b: Rearrange some logic
01f51ae: Some doc fixes
9953ac7: Fix some minor typos
b57f3ba: Add some more comments.
40c8a3c: Add ReputationBar
Cameron Knight (34):
5911b48: add Options, doesn't do much, but it does allow positioning of bars.
9f1a0b7: possibly fix up .pkgmeta. Fix an issue in options.
cbc2a0e: Add CastBar
2b8abc5: make CastBar work a bit better. Show targettarget.
a210826: simplify some logic.
0b32697: .docmeta
4101557: fix .docmeta
0146943: Fix up some code, initial icon support
53586de: Fix the way module registered functions are called.
2c9871c: switch to using AceConfig-3.0. Add some actual options for bars.
36244d2: change .unitID to .unit, since that's what Blizzard expects for tooltips.
52ee2e3: move the module types into their own files. Add a method to add new module types easily.
a455b9c: add a way for modules to register options. Add the "Color by class" option to HealthBar.
f7ce9ed: actually position icons and provide options for icons. get rid of all magic numbers in the layout (I think).
d1492ef: add real layout handling. Add setting of the layouts on a per-classification basis.
f3e3f49: Add the ability on a per-classification basis to mirror the layout horizontally. This is useful if you have a player frame and a target frame the same layout but want the target layout to mirror it (e.g. bars go other direction, things on the other side, etc.)
769c4e7: Add vertical mirroring. Tbh, I'm not sure a layout that would use it, but it could be cool.
0c8565f: prepare for frame deletion
7dac629: Switch to using colon syntax most all places, as it was confusing to have some methods use colon syntax but some using dot syntax. Switch to using Ace3 for timers, events, module handling, and DB.
ce0b5e6: use self where it makes sense
abf7396: some options-related bugfixing.
465e5f8: Move some functions around
6c40e9f: change the naming of some things, split things up some more for clarity.
0bebf73: move some files around, use XML instead of the TOC to load up files.
aebe4a2: Move some more things around
7602a0d: Split up Options into its own sections, put it in its own folder
d6ef615: Move the module handling parts to its own folder
f7dcfd5: bgAlpha => background_alpha
ed68d50: small optimization
bc419fc: have a set ordering for the layout editor
f38e0a8: bugfix
51ce0be: remove StatusBarModule:SetColorFunction, now it's just assumed that :GetColor will be the method to call. Same for :SetValueFunction => :GetValue and IconModule:SetTextureFunction => :GetTexture.
84c0e3c: split up the icon module's :GetTexture and :GetTexCoord functions. Pass in value to StatusBarModule:GetColor, in the case where you want to change color based on value (like health bar).
96337cc: change background and highlight modules to make the control they create using the same casing as the module ID.
- Uploaded on
- Dec 26, 2008
- Game version
- 3.0.3
- Filename
- PitBull4-r20081226194030-nolib.zip
- Size
- 39.6 KiB
- 211ce119e2d533f534229361e66d2755
- Type
- Alpha
- Status
- Normal
- Downloads
- 5


text:
Spirit of Hordak will be a part of Early Access tomorrow...
Spirit of Hordak was sold out in about 1 minute. Was limited stock, Matty says it will return numerous times again in the future.
UPDATE:He'll appear unannounced in our Shop throughout the year so everyone will have a chance to find him. And if you're a subscriber, we'll have a small amount available during Early Access starting 5/14 at 8 a.m. PT. He's subject to sellout during Early Access (purchase limit has been reduced to four per subscriber) and won't be available to the public on 5/15, but watch for his logo in the Shop – you never know when he'll sneak back in.
Here's a list of dates he has appeared so far:
May 8
May 14 (Early Access)
June 1
June 20
July 19
August 7
October 4
November 14
Tumblr: www.jonwesleyhuff.tumblr.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/jonwesleyhuff
Twitter: www.twitter.com/jonwesleyhuff
Upcoming Graphic Novel: www.eonquest.com
A Want List of Sorts: Saurod, Buzz-Saw Hordak, Dragstor, Perfuma, Dare, Snake Mountain, Prahvus, Veena, King Chuboolu, Flying Fists He-Man, Terror Claws Skeletor, Point Dread & The Talon Fighter... and all the other POP & NA characters.
Sounds great! How does early access work? I don't have the eternia sub will I not be able to order him?
The only thing is, they are going to still offer him from time to time secretly, so I would expect Strobo-numbers when he's offered. So he'll be quick sell-out, mostly likely. Just so everyone is prepared.
No, you won't. It's a benefit of being a subscriber.
Tumblr: www.jonwesleyhuff.tumblr.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/jonwesleyhuff
Twitter: www.twitter.com/jonwesleyhuff
Upcoming Graphic Novel: www.eonquest.com
Just announced...
I'm kinda excited for the stinkor EA actually.
I'll pick up a couple SOH though.
Dammit, I'm probably gonna miss out on him again due to work. Oh well...not too fussed over it anyways. I'll get one eventually.
There will still be a stink-fest after he sells out in minutes.
I just called work and let them know I'll be late tomorrow! mwahahaha!
Click on Amazon or Barnes and Noble for a free sample of my first book, Paradigm Shift Saga: Malediction!
A short story of monsters and magic!
"Who has two thumbs and is gonna be on sale in the early access?"
"Wheresoever on earth he dwells, man is prey to two weaknesses: the need to pray and the need to love."-Marquis de Sade
"It is not by reasoning or by our understanding that we have received our religion; it is by external authority and command."-Michel De Montaigne
Heretical Vintage Purist and Non-Fan Extraordinaire!
Hmmm... the link from my e-mail still only shows Slush Head and Evil-Lynn, is everyone getting this?
(also I'm well pleased, I have Evil Lyn but not Stinkor, and my new Moss Man needs an nemesis )
I'm going for it! I'm guessing he'll be $25 like the others?
SDCC Battle Armor Faker
Does early access offer combined shipping with subscription figures? I had to pay for separate shipping for SOH first time he showed up.
I just got the email a few minutes ago, and it's good to know that the SOH will be finally offered during the early access.
A good move in the right the direction by Mattel... However, I hope I'll be able to get one, unlike my previous attempt on Strobo when he disappeared from my cart during checkout!
Epic Metal music rocks the universe.
How did Evil Lyn sell out? I bet she'll be available at their SDCC booth, and later that day on ebay.
***! how did Evil-lyn sell out even before Early Access started??


text:
Shopper has spider scare at Wisconsin Aldi
UPDATED 10:27 PM CST Nov 10, 2013Aldi pulled all their grapes from their Milwaukee area stores after a shopper found what appeared to be a black widow spider in a fruit container.
The views expressed are not those of this site, this station or its affiliated companies. By posting your comments you agree to accept our terms of use.blog comments powered by Disqus


text:
Top Definition
The act of taking an Alli or other diet pill, going out and eating a meal with a high fat content (which anyone who has taken an Alli knows this gives you the instant runs) and then emptying your runny bowels in the toilet tank instead of the bowl. Usually an act of revenge.
That fag Keith has stood me up for breakfast two weeks in a row. I'm going to pick up some Alli and Upper Deck Salad Shooter his downstairs bathroom.
od uživatele Sue_Ellen
07. Prosinec 2008


text:
Pruning Saw
Customers Also Bought
Safe-Grip Pruning Saw Makes Quick, Clean Cuts
- Super-sharp saw easily cuts through all types of wood
- Blade makes clean cuts that heal quickly
- Unique handle protects hands during use and when closing blade
When a branch is too large for your pruners or loppers, step up to this pruning saw. A curved blade with sharp teeth ensures fast, clean cuts. The ergonomic handle provides a sure grip and the blade sheath doubles as hand protection.
- Thermoplastic rubber, polypropylene, steel
- 21" L overall when open
- Blade is 9-3/4" L
- Folds to 11-1/2" L x 4-1/2" W
Reviewed by 6 customers
Sort by
Displaying reviews 1-6
A very useful pruning saw. I love that it is compact, and folds down so you can carry it without worry. The blade is sharp and seems like it is of high quality.
Best Uses
Used it to thin bamboo, worked great!
- Was this a gift?:
- Yes
- Easy Grip
- Safety Closure
Best Uses
- Pruning small branches
I am very pleased with this product.
- Was this a gift?:
- No
I like this saw. This is very useful.
It cuts many branches and twigs, but sometime this blade stucks when you try to cut more than 2" dia. trunks.
It has made my gardenign and yard work much easier!
This is my next favorite tool next to my lopers. It's compact, folds to keep it safe, and small enough to carry around the yard. Gets the job done.
Displaying reviews 1-6
In summer, most berries demand nothing more than picking. But when it comes to raspberries, some pruning sets the stage for bountiful berries again next year.
Pruning is a perfect chore for late-winter and early spring because most trees and shrubs are dormant. What's more, it's the time of year when there are few gardening tasks on your list.
There are no special shipping restrictions or charges associated with this item. For detailed information about our delivery methods and charges, click here.
We're proud of the fact that this item is shipped to you directly from our warehouse in Vermont, by one of our 250 employee-owners. In-stock items are packed with care and shipped within the next business day to ensure prompt delivery to your home and garden!


text:
Destination: Orange Beach
Type: Condo/Villa
Number of Floors: 16
Bedrooms: 3
Baths: 3
Pondering a vacation to the Alabama Gulf Coast to enjoy some beach time, natural beauty and family fun? Consider a vacation rental in the Caribe complex. Nestled within a 23-acre serene waterfront setting, Caribe borders more than 1.5 miles of unobstructed shoreline and features pristine beaches, protected natural habitat and unforgettable sunsets. Located in Orange Beach, Alabama, just one mile west of the Florida-Alabama border, our vacation rentals in Caribe offer distinct waterfront views and easy access to the area's boating, fishing, shopping and dining attractions.
Inside the gates of this property, guests are surrounded by sugar-white sandy beaches and more amenities and conveniences than one can imagine. Caribe includes the largest pool and best water activities in the area, as an 8,000-square-foot Olympic-size swimming pool is complemented by a water slide, a playground for children as well as a dry sauna and steam room for the grown-ups. Staying active is easy at Caribe, as guests are encouraged to take advantage of our state-of-the-art fitness center and 3 tennis courts. Then, relax and soothe your muscles in our hot tubs (3 outdoor, 1 indoor), or enjoy a family meal in the barbeque area or at the poolside snack bar.
Just outside the gates and within a short drive awaits family fun and entertainment such as amusement parks, dolphin tours, deep sea fishing and championship golf courses just to name a few. A trip to nearby Foley will net shopaholics a day at the outlet mall, or guests can stay close and enjoy the unique boutiques lining the coastline. Plus, a complimentary trolley service is available to whisk you away to the beautiful beaches and natural beauty of nearby Perdido Pass.
Proximity | ||
Pool/Hot Tub/Sauna | ||
Complex Features | ||
Parking Features | ||
Additional Amenities | ||
Closest Airport: PNS | Nearest City: Pensacola | Complex | "Caribe" Check-In Office |
Check-In Information | |||
Check-In Office Name: Gulf Shores Office 1557 Gulf Shores Parkway Gulf Shores, AL 36547 Check-In Time: 3:00 PM Check-Out Time: 10:00 AM Open: Monday - Sunday 8:00AM - 8:00PM 251-968-6868 (check-in line) 251-968-6868 (office) 888-217-1509(reservations) 251-968-6868(maintenance) After Hours Check-In Procedure: Pick up telephone next to office door. Telephone automatically rings to after hours call center. Customer service agents assists with check-in via lock box next to telephone. 888-217-1509(after hours phone) |
There are currently no active reviews for this property, please click below to be the first guest to provide a review.
Sunny Spring Savings
Book now and save up to 20%†* on spring travel
Promo Code: SPRING2015
Travel Start Date: 03/04/2015
Travel End Date: 05/13/2015
2015 Hangout Music Fest
Enjoy 20% off†* when you book your Hangout Music Fest lodging!
Promo Code: HMF2015
Travel Start Date: 05/11/2015
Travel End Date: 05/25/2015
Minimum Night Stay: 3
Family Fun Pack 2015
Book now for 10% off lodging, plus added value & savings†*
Promo Code: FAMILYFUN
Travel Start Date: 05/26/2015
Travel End Date: 06/22/2015
Minimum Night Stay: 3
Military Members Appreciation
As a salute for your service, take an extra 5% off†* any active promotion
Promo Code: MILITARY
Travel Start Date: 01/24/2014
Travel End Date: 12/31/2015
Minimum Night Stay: 3
Stay & Play Golf Package
Customized golf packages starting from $115/pp/pn†*
Promo Code: GOLF
Travel Start Date: 01/01/2014
Travel End Date: 01/01/2017
Bedrooms: 3
Extra Sleeping Area: Other
Baths: 3 Full
Type: Condo/Villa
Sleeps: 9
Bedrooms: 3
Extra Sleeping Area: Other
Baths: 3 Full
Type: Condo/Villa
Sleeps: 8
4 BR | 4 BA | Sleeps 11


text:
You have no items in your shopping cart.
Model | #6752 |
Combo | No |
Length (inches) | 27 |
Action | Quick Tip |
Species | Bluegills, Crappies, Perch |
Material | Fiberglass |
"I call it a "high definition fishing tool" – you can actually see the strikes. Its soft tip translates the pulsing of a live minnow and the slightest kiss of a bluegill. Give it all you got on the hookset, though. There's plenty of backbone. Makes for a killer dead-sticking rig as well."- Brian "Bro" Brosdahl
Species: Bluegills, Crappies and Perch
Length: 27 inches
Line: 1 – 4 lb. Test


text:
To find a doctor, call 800-667-5356 or click below:
Find a Doctor
Request an Appointment
En Español (Spanish Version) More InDepth Information on This Condition
Definition | Causes | Risk Factors | Symptoms | Diagnosis | Treatment | Prevention
The thyroid gland is a butterfly-shaped gland in the front of the neck. It produces hormones that control metabolism. Hypothyroidism results when the thyroid gland doesn't produce enough thyroid hormone. The most common form of hypothyroidism is Hashimoto's thyroiditis.
Copyright © Nucleus Medical Media, Inc.
Hashimoto's thyroiditis is an autoimmune disorder. The immune system produces antibodies that attack cells of the thyroid gland.
Hypothyroidism may also be caused by:
Hypothyroidism is more common in women, and in those aged 65 years and older. Other factors that may increase your risk of hypothyroidism include:
You may not have symptoms of hypthyroidism. In those that have symptoms, hypothyroidism may cause:
Symptoms of severe or long-term hypothyroidism causes:
You will be asked about your symptoms and medical history. A physical exam will be done.
Tests may include blood tests to check levels of thyroid stimulating hormone (TSH), and/or free T4. Other tests may be recommended to rule out health conditions that are similar to hypothyroidism.
Thyroid replacement therapy involves taking medications that replace the function of the thyroid gland. This therapy may also prevent cancer cell growth in people who had surgery or radiation treatment for thyroid cancer.
People with Hashimoto's thyroiditis are monitored as long as they have normal thyroid function and remain symptom-free. Once function decreases or symptoms appear, treatment is started with thyroid replacement therapy.
There are no current guidelines to prevent hypothyroidism.
The American Academy of Pediatrics and United States Preventive Services Task Force recommend screening all newborns for congenital hypothyroidism. If you are at high risk for developing hypothyroidism talk to your doctor about annual screening.


text:
I submit Entergy is not lying. Is a child lying when they tell Santa they have been good, just to get what they want? In the child's mind keeping Santa happy is all that matters.
In a corporation where saying anything to appease the public is a way of life, is it any wonder that since litigation keeps the plant running and the profits coming in Entergy will say they don't want to go to court? That safety is the magic word needed to apply to anything that challenges their profit margins now? That past record is no indication of future actions? That trust is recognized as a place to hold money not a reliance on another person or entity to follow through on their word? That the need to fund a trust for future decommissioning is not relevant? That they would not challenge state authority over the plant and wield a team of lawyers who are doing just that in the procedural process at hand? That they can sit on their collective butts instead of being pro-active in the certificate renewal process and then claim the Legislature is responsible for the delay, not them?
Face value, simply put, Entergy is not a company that understands respect, honesty, integrity and truth — ideas still valued here in Vermont.
The sooner Vermont Yankee is decommissioned, the site cleaned up and Entergy out of our lives the better.
Deny a new CPG.
Shut down Vermont Yankee now and mandate Entergy pay the decommissioning and radioactive waste cleanup cost.
Al Blakey
BarreMORE IN LettersDont like it? Dont read it Full StoryImportant message for all Full StoryThe best investment Full Story -
- Most Popular
- Most Emailed


text:
Mania has been posting the PSA's for the new zombie series In the Flesh. The series which airs on the BBC initially looked to be like a mixture of horror and comedy. This new trailer, seen below, promises a slightly more dramatic turn.
According to its creator, Dominic Mitchell: "I want it to be for a really wide audience and to talk about real issues, real family issues, real domestic issues, and we play with the zombie methodology. We do have a few scenes of real great zombie genre stuff, but then you have a scene where it's really domestic and they're sitting around the table just trying to be a family again, and that's what I really wanted it to do. So, your Grandma can watch it, hopefully, and really enjoy it, and it can speak to her as well as speak to the teenage zombie horror fan."
The Plot: Four years after the Rising, the government starts to rehabilitate the Undead back into the society including teenager Kieren Walker, who returns home to his small Lancashire village to face a hostile reception as well as his own demons.
The first episode aired on Sunday, March 17th, in the UK. In the Flesh hasn't found a US release date yet.


text:
First Name:
Last Name:
Registry ID:
Looking for our latest catalog? Request one here
You have no items in your shopping cart.
Item Name: La Vigne Waiters Corkscrew Cab/Sauvignon Handle
Item #: W3294
List Price: $219.99
Sale Price: $199.99You Save 10% + FREE SHIPPING ON ORDERS OVER $35*
Availability: In Stock for Immediate Shipping
Please wait...
Added to Registry
Be the first to review this product
Gift wrap is a solid plain red foil. Gift wrap charges are non refundable.
To view examples of engraving fonts click here.


text:
Aiaiai Swirl Earphones w/Mic Review
Posted on Jun 16, 2011 at 5:52PM
Aiaiai is a Danish headphones and earphones brand that creates creative and minimalistic products not only hipsters, but everyone can enjoy. The Aiaiai Swirl are in-ear earphones with the most simplistic design I have ever encountered when it comes to earphones. The Urbanears Plattan headphones come to mind when I think about minimalistic design. Besides the clean looks, the Swirl was built to last with the most durable materials made to withstand your heavy everyday music routine. I always appreciate it when portable accessories are developed with thought and a lot of attention to detail. The big questions is though, can the Swirl deliver a solid package? This and much more in the full review right after the cut!
tagged / ?, AIAIAI, AIAIAI Swirl, Earphones, Mic, Review, Swirl Earphones, Swirl headphones, coiled cord, iPhone, in-ears, sound quality Category / Gadget Hub Headphones, In-Ears, Reviews


text:
Club Moss
In this Article
How does Club Moss work?
There isn't enough information available to know how club moss works.Are there safety concerns?
Club moss seems unsafe for use because it contains several poisonous chemicals.Do not use club moss if:
- You are pregnant or breast-feeding.
Dosing considerations for Club Moss.
The appropriate dose of club moss depends on several factors such as the user's age, health, and several other conditions. At this time there is not enough scientific information to determine an appropriate range of doses for club moss. Keep in mind that natural products are not always necessarily safe and dosages can be important. Be sure to follow relevant directions on product labels and consult your pharmacist or physician or other healthcare professional before using.Report Problems to the Food and Drug Administration
You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.
Women's Health
Find out what women really need.


text:
This study is provided by ICPSR. ICPSR provides leadership and training in data access, curation, and methods of analysis for a diverse and expanding social science research community.
Census of Population and Housing, 1980 [United States]: Summary Tape File 2B (ICPSR 8037)
Principal Investigator(s): United States Department of Commerce. Bureau of the Census
Summary Tape File 2 (STF 2) files contain detailed complete-count tabulations for all persons and housing units in the United States. The STF 2B files provide summaries for states or state equivalents, state components, standard consolidated statistical areas (SCSAs) and the urban and rural portions of the SCSAs, standard metropolitan statistical areas (SMSAs) and the urban and rural portions of the SMSAs, urbanized areas, counties or county equivalents and the rural portion of the counties, minor civil divisions or Census county divisions, places of 1,000 people or more and the urban portions of any places that have been split into urban and rural components, American Indian reservations and their county portions, and Alaska Native villages. Population (or demographic) and housing items are contained in each type of file. The data are presented in two types of records. The first, record A, is presented once for each geographic area and summarizes total population and all housing units. The second, record B, is presented for the total population in each area and repeated for each race and Hispanic group in the area that meets nonsuppression criteria. Record B is presented for a maximum of 26 racial/Hispanic groups. If too few persons or housing units fall into an ethnic category in a census area, the data for that category are suppressed. There are 51 data files, one file for each state and the District of Columbia.
Series: Census of Population and Housing, 1980 [United States] Series
Access Notes
These data are available only to users at ICPSR member institutions. Because you are not logged in, we cannot verify that you will be able to download these data.
WARNING: This study is over 150MB in size and may take several minutes to download on a typical internet connection.
Study Description
United States Department of Commerce. Bureau of the Census. Census of Population and Housing, 1980 [United States]: Summary Tape File 2B. ICPSR08037-v1. Ann Arbor, MI: Inter-university Consortium for Political and Social Research[distributor], 1982. http://doi.org/10.3886/ICPSR08037.v1
Persistent URL: http://doi.org/10.3886/ICPSR08037.v1
Export Citation:
- RIS (generic format for RefWorks, EndNote, etc.)
- EndNote XML (EndNote X4.0.1 or higher)
Scope of Study
Subject Terms: census data, census divisions, census regions, counties, demographic characteristics, ethnicity, Hispanic or Latino origins, household composition, households, housing, metropolitan statistical areas, minor civil divisions, population, states (USA)
Geographic Coverage: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York (state), North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Puerto Rico, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, United States, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming
Time Period:
- 1980
Date of Collection:
- 1980
Universe: All persons and housing units in the United States.
Data Types: census/enumeration data
Data Source:
self-enumerated questionnaires
Original ICPSR Release: 1984-06-28
Version History:
- 2006-01-12 All files were removed from dataset 57 and flagged as study-level files, so that they will accompany all downloads.
- 2006-01-12 All files were removed from dataset 57 and flagged as study-level files, so that they will accompany all downloads.
Metadata Exports
- Citations exports are provided above.
Export Study-level metadata (does not include variable-level metadata)
Data Documentation Initiative (DDI) XML:
If you're looking for collection-level metadata rather than an individual metadata record, please visit our Metadata Records page.


text:
Ventura looks for series win vs. Collmenter, D-backs
Rookie right-hander set for first career start against Arizona in Phoenix
Josh Collmenter will take the mound for the D-backs on Wednesday, and facing him will be an unfamiliar foe.
The Royals are in town for a three-game series against the D-backs, facing the home team for the first time since 2012. The teams have only played each other 22 games since the D-backs were founded in 1998.
The only time Collmenter has faced the Royals was a two-inning stint out of the bullpen in Kansas City in 2012. His opposing pitcher on Wednesday, Yordano Ventura, hasn't played the D-backs in his short time in the Major Leagues.
Collmenter is hoping that his two scoreless innings from 2012 carry over to his start on Wednesday. Thanks in part to a poor outing against the Phillies, he has a 10.13 ERA in his last two starts, and opponents are hitting .405 against him.
"You can't make pitches down the middle and get away with it," Collmenter said. "Especially the velocity I throw at."
Ventura doesn't have that velocity problem. His average fastball velocity -- 96.2 mph -- is second in the Major Leagues, according to Fangraphs.
But throwing hard isn't always the determinant of success. Ventura has been scuffling lately, too.
In his last three starts, the rookie hurler is 1-1 with a 5.09 ERA. However, he did rectify his problems in his last outing -- a seven-inning win against the Twins on July 31 in which he gave up just one earned run.
Royals: No burning decision on benching
Manager Ned Yost moved up the coaching ranks in the National League with the Braves and Brewers, but Interleague games in the past often came with a big decision.
What it came down to is who should play first base and who should sit on the bench: usual designated hitter Billy Butler or Eric Hosmer?
"Normally I don't like it because I've got to put one of my best hitters on the bench, but now that 'Hoz' is out, it doesn't matter really," Yost said.
Hosmer is currently out three to six weeks with a stress fracture in his right hand, so Butler has been playing first base in his absence.
D-backs: Hudson, Pollock, Pennington working back from injuries
The oft-injured D-backs should be getting several shots in the arm in the coming weeks.
The first of three players expected to return from the disabled list is utility infielder Cliff Pennington, who has been out of action since June 1 with a left thumb injury that required surgery.
Manager Kirk Gibson said Pennington could join the team within a week, possibly by the end of the D-backs' homestand.
Pennington has played nine rehab games with the Rookie League AZL D-backs and Triple-A Reno, going 13-for-32.
A bigger boost to the lineup, who is further from returning, is outfielder A.J. Pollock, who has played four rehab games between Reno and the AZL D-backs.
Pollock was one of the D-backs' best bats before he suffered a fractured right hand, hitting .316 with a .920 on-base-plus-slugging percentage through May 31.
"He's going to go quick," Gibson said Sunday.
Gibson said Sunday he expected Pollock to get at least 25-30 more at-bats before he returns to the Major League club.
Pitcher Daniel Hudson also started his road back to the D-backs, pitching an inning for the AZL D-backs on Tuesday. Hudson, who had Tommy John surgery in June 2013, has not pitched in a Major League game since June 26, 2012.
Worth noting
• With the Royals' win on Tuesday, Yost is one win shy of 800 for his career.
Adam Lichtenstein is an associate reporter for MLB.com. This story was not subject to the approval of Major League Baseball or its clubs.


text:
Dental care for horses isn't quite equal to human dentistry at this point, but in recent years advancements have been made in the field of equine restorative dentistry that are giving owners options when faced with certain dental disorders.
To continue reading this article, become a member of TheHorse.com.
It's FREE and you'll get full access to more than 20,000 articles, video, free reports & more.


text:
Director | Quentin Tarantino |
Year | 2003 |
Starring | Uma Thurman, Lucy Lui, Vivica A. Fox |
Rating | R |
Run Time | 126min |
Age Policy |
18 and up; Children 6 and up will be allowed only with a parent guardian. No children under the age of 6 will be allowed. |
More Info | IMDb |
Maybe Tarantino's most ambitious effort (and that's saying something), the KILL BILL films are one of the most audacious odes to cinema an American filmmaker has ever made.
Told in two very similar, yet completely different volumes, the story is about The Bride and her quest for revenge on those who tried to murder at her own wedding. Her survival is unknown to them, which leads to one surprising and action-filled confrontation after another. The first volume finds its inspiration from the Far East and the films of the Shaw brothers, Sonny Chiba, Bruce Lee and even anime.
The second has a decidedly Western feels, but still captures the heart of a samurai film. The overall product is bold and immensely entertaining. And if somehow missed the opportunity to see these films on the big screen then your in luck because this holiday season at the Alamo we're giving you the present of a second chance. So take a note from The Bride and relish this second chance. Do something about it. But don't kill people. Just come watch these amazing films on the big screen at the Alamo.
Check out screenings for KILL BILL VOL. 2 HERE.


text:
The original deal pioneer keeps on pinching pennies and cracking wise. No, that price isn't a typo.
Go to Woot
Candlepower and puppet shows are so passé. Get the newest TVs, speakers, home theater gear, and more.
Go to Electronics.Woot
The robots are coming! And so are the laptops, the tablets, the chargers, and all sorts of other gadgets!
Go to Computers.Woot
High living at low prices with name-brand deals for your pad, crib, nest, or castle - inside and out.
Go to Home.Woot
Make it, build it, improve it. But whatever home project you've got in mind, start by saving money on it.
Go to Tools & Garden
Sports, fitness, and outdoors deals, because saving money is only one of your passions.
Go to Sport.Woot
You don't have to spend a lot to look like you do. Werk it and twerk it with amazing deals on designer watches, handbags and more.
Go to Accessories & Watches
Deals for moms and dads and anybody else who needs kids' stuff, from toys to baby gear to furniture to clothing.
Go to Kids.Woot
Our exclusive graphic tees will make you laugh, will make you cry, will make you look totally hot.
Go to Shirt.Woot
Direct from the winery to your thirsty lips: wine deals worth doing a spit-take over.
Go to Wine.Woot
Last chance deals for hardcore cheapskates. Catch 'em before they - you guessed it - sell out.
Go to Sellout.Woot
460,520 deals (and counting) from around the web, shared and ranked by a community of deal fiends like you. Go to Deals.Woot.
Comments for individual derby entries are placed in this thread.
Re: Higher Education System
Higher Education System!
Re: Forty-Two U.
Seeking the ultimate question.
Re: Respect the Chemistry
Respect the chemistry. Walter White does.
Re: Food Tech
Collab with Kevlar.
Re: You Shall Pass
Love it!
Re: 3 Geniuses
Three geniuses and their friend Walowitz, M.Eng.
Re: Heisenberg University
The university of the real life scientist, not the fictional chemistry teacher turned drug lord. Although both of them are cool in their own ways
Re: Undergrad Math
Did you know the lines on a solo cup are measurement lines? Pretty convenient!
Re: Forcing Around
Jedi keg stands!!!
Re: Empire State
If only I knew how to do that cool distressing.
Some of us went to Party-U and thus today aren't Doctors or Lawyers. Some of us went to Party-U and today are Politicians. Here's a zoom in. I realized it's tough to see half-tones in my jpeg.
Thanks Boots--always a pleasure working with you!
Re: Jedi Academy
Based on the academy Luke Skywalker founded on Yavin IV 7 years after the events of Return Of The Jedi. Probably too deep, eh?
Re: Evil School of Evil
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog is one of my favorite movies. Hope you like it too
*snort... clever
Know this might get rejected because of a)copyright or b)'school already exists'... but I thought I'd try anyway
Re: Gryffindor
This is too damn good! Well played
how is this at all following the derby rules? i mean granted its funny and well done, but i just dont think it fits the theme correctly.
j5 wrote:If only I knew how to do that cool distressing.
Ask an emo kid. They're cool and distressed.
Re: I.O.U. (Tuition)
latin says "learn a little, pay a lot"
Re: Qo'nos University
Only the best education available in the Alpha Quadrant! The motto reads "We are Klingons!"
Great work guys!
Re: WILD COLLEGE
learning how to live into the wild!
Re: Science
Let's all go to the Meth lab, let's all go to the Meth lab, let's all go to the Meth lab, and cook ourselves crystal.
Re: Jedi Academy Curriculum
Funny. But I'm not sure woot will let you get away with using the word Jedi...
Re: Papyrus
LOL! I heard their Advanced Clip Art class was tough.
Re: Mid-Earth Halfling
By OdysseyORC.
Re: Darwin College- talk about some competition!
This design has no intelligence behind it!
Re: french water university
3 colors on red
Home of the Fighting Butterfingers
Re: Gygax University
Celebrating DIE-versity since 1974, with majors like Dragon Slayer, Dungeon Mastering, and Rules Lawyering, Gygax University has contributed to many generations of gamers. 4 colors on Navy - I hope you like!
Great work, you two! Fun!!
Re: Dexterous Uni
We value fine hand skills!
Re: Best Pirate University!
Yaaaarghhh Mateys!
Re: Life, you never know what you gonna get
Beautiful quote from a beautiful film!
Also, it's Tauntaun.
Damn you, i was in the midst of working on a very similar idea. I was going to go with "Evil League of Evil's University of Evil" though. Guess i'll just have to skip this week
And still we can't find an appropriate use for that font face! (The shirt would look so much better in Lithos! ;) )
Re: CYNIC Smart asses
View All →


text:
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Rethinking the "Ex"-factor: Are you the same person now that you were then?
148 comments:
I;m definitely not the same person now that I was when I met my ex. I'm far more in ownership of my own needs and feelings and I'm okay if they clash with my s/o's. I think it's smart to adapt your communication style with the person you're with. I don't think it's okay to change the essence of who you are to be what they want.
- October 25, 2011 at 9:05 AM
This is entertaining. One of the reasons we call David Batman is because he generally doesn't say alot. He says what needs to be said and that's that. Until he meets a certain bougie chick and now he can't shut up ;)
Anyway prior to the wife, one of my ex-girlfriends siad I lacked innovation and was too buttoned up. I met my wife and she said the thing she liked about me was that I laughed all the time and always had new ideas. Different people bring out different things in you. - October 25, 2011 at 9:10 AM
"When I asked him how this could possible be true, he said - I don't know, maybe I'm different with you."
This is it right there. Not only do we grow ourselves but as people we react/respond to those we are involved with in different ways. This biggest myth is that "people don't change". Yes we do. Every.Damn.Day. - October 25, 2011 at 9:14 AM
- MsJamie14 said...
I think our personalities are multi-faceted and therefore never really depart from us. But age and maturity also play a part, as well as the DESIRE to be your best self. Let's face it, some people can bring out the best in you, and some can bring out the worst.
I don't doubt for a second that D may still be "emotionally unattached, stingy with his feelings, and hard to read." That might aid him well in business, especially if negotiation is required to be successful. However, with age and maturity and a relationship he really likes and wants to maintain, perhaps he has found someone whom he can not only open up to, but let his guard down with. It's important to note that if he wanted to turn "a-hole" he probably could, but it would probably cost him a good relationship.
Looking back at my own personality strengths and weaknesses, I can see the relationships that brought out my best self as well as my not so best. But ultimately, it's up to me to be able to channel my feelings productively, no matter the situation or person I'm dealing with. Again, recognizing that comes age and maturity. - October 25, 2011 at 9:15 AM
- maureen said...
Great post! I believe one should change to compliment current relationship, as the saying goes "you know better you do better. just don't lose yourself. For me the easiest things to change would be aesthic stuff. Hardest would be my inner core- you stray from your center- you are lost.
- October 25, 2011 at 9:15 AM
Tempted to fly to Cali just to shake your hand on this one!
- October 25, 2011 at 9:17 AM
Tempted to fly to Cali just to shake your hand on this one!
- October 25, 2011 at 9:17 AM
*raises both hands and runs up and down the aisle praise dancing this post*
I can't imagine being the same person. What is the whole point if not to learn from the last one and improve with the next one? Plus, why drag the stale same old same old forward? Mix it up!
The hardest thing is to change your mindset about relationships, especially if you've been burned. It's hard not to wait for the other shoe to drop and just live in the now.
The easiest thing to change is your communication style. - October 25, 2011 at 9:23 AM
- Slimuel L. Jackson said...
I think how much we change to compliment someone we're dating is a direct correlation to how much we value them. For people to make a change and have it stick, they have to do it for themselves first. Otherwise they'll just go back to old habits. And if we meet someone that impacts us enough on a personal level to make us want to change our actions to make sure that the relationship remains healthy, then we're placing a pretty high amount of value in what we have with them and it's clear that we want to make sure that person is happy...or we just want to avoid unnecessary headaches.
I don't think any change is easy, but the best and most beneficial thing to change first is attitude and outlook. That's going to set the tone for how you interact.communicate with the person. The most difficult to thing and perhaps impossible thing to change would be values. Values are the essence of who you are and changing your values could be a daunting and internally challenging process.
In terms of past relationships, I don't need to know much. I only want to know if they've dated anybody I know. Other than that, I accept them for the person they are today and every thing else I learn along the way is gravy. - October 25, 2011 at 9:31 AM
- Jubi The Great said...
I've changed in relationships - both to please my SO & also because I knew I needed to get my stuff together if I wanted to have a healthy adult relationship. The one time I changed to fit the mold of what my partner wanted, I found that I lost myself & I wasn't happy with who I became. The times where I changed because I needed to communicate differently, or have a different view on things, it benefitted not only the relationship, but me as a person.
I'm not all that interested in my SO's past. Their interactions with me & how work/relate to each other is more imporant to me. I wouldn't want anyone making false assumptions/judgements about me based on my past so I try to avoid doing the same. - October 25, 2011 at 9:39 AM
Lookie here, you wouldn't wear gym shorts to a formal or a tux to a BBQ. Relationships are the same damn thing. You switch up to fit the occasion. Doesn't mean you're different, just means you fit in as needed.
*drops mic* - October 25, 2011 at 9:44 AM
I actually prefer that we enter in without a whole lot of preconceived notions. I don't want to know why she's divorced, what he did, why they split - no. Let me figure out a few things on my own. I went out with a woman a few weeks ago and the first thing she said was "So what happened with your marriage?" Is that first date chatter?
BTW, tell David that I'm stealing that "Cards on the Table Moment" - October 25, 2011 at 9:51 AM
- michaeldavis said...
I think people change based on age and life and relationship experiences, not whom they date. I know that while my dating requirements are somewhat stringent (Moms says I'm too picky...I prefer "selective"), I tend to show flex within the relationship because it is give and take and I know I'm not always right.
One thing that I have learned is that I tend to attract the "all about their job" types because they see me involved in certain arenas, when what I really like are women who lead balanced lives and are involved in some social/charity/volunteer cause that is bigger than themselves. What I learned is that I need to partner with someone on the artsy side that is a little more carefree so I don't take myself too serious.
As far as the past, I do need to know that you haven't dated anybody close to me. #NoRayJ - October 25, 2011 at 9:51 AM
- SingLikeSassy said...
All men don't treat all women the same. Each relationship has its own dynamic. That was theirs. *shrug*
- October 25, 2011 at 9:52 AM
- Lady Ngo said...
I do think we change to complement the one we're with to a certain extent. But i think a lot of this has more to do with the fact that you're with someone that you should/want to be with. The way you act with someone that gets you and you see a future with is different from the way you'll act with the flavor of the week (even if you don't consciously realize that they're the flavor of the week).
- October 25, 2011 at 9:54 AM
I've had people tell me I'm a totally different person with Mrs. Skyy than I was before. I don't think that's a bad thing.
- October 25, 2011 at 9:58 AM
- Miz JJ said...
Men don't treat all women the same. It hurts to know that, but it's true.
I am in a relationship now with a man who was described much the way David was by quite a few of his exes. One woman even asked what I've done to him because now he's so different. I didn't do anything. We fit together, so we're both different together. - October 25, 2011 at 10:02 AM
- SingLikeSassy said...
As for past relationships, I don't get into all that cause for real, I don't care about who you used to be (unless you were a criminal or abusive), I'm focused on who you are right now with me. Are you treating me as I need to be treated? We're good then.
I think this also gets into love/relationship styles. I am a person who doesn't like to read minds and I don't expect you to read mine. I ask for what I want. And, within reason I expect you to deliver. But I dated a guy for a bit who didn't like that. He wanted to just suss out what I wanted, but was awful at it and would get upset that I wasn't pleased when he did something that I didn't want. More importantly, he wanted ME to suss out what he wanted. Dude, if you want something better ask for it, cause closed mouths don't get fed. So, his impression of me may be that I am demanding, selfish and unappreciative.
Now, with my ex-husband he APPRECIATED that I was direct. He said he always hated dating women where he had to wonder if what he was doing was sufficient or the right thing. That meant if I wanted flowers I could say, "Baby, I'd like some flowers" and within a day or so I'd either get a delivery at work or come home to some flowers. Which made me happy and in turn made me wants to do MORE to make him happy.
OK, blogging in the comments now so I'll stop. - October 25, 2011 at 10:03 AM
Different people bring out different things in you <~~~ TRUTH
- October 25, 2011 at 10:05 AM
One of the things I had to learn (thanks, @JaymeCinDallas ) is how communication styles differ. Truthfully, the previous girlfriends didn't expect a lot of chatter. I could say "it's cool" and that closed out the discussion. Amy wasn't having it. She wanted full sentences with adjectives, adverbs or what not. And she communicates better when she's had a minute to think about it or writes it down.
I didn't want to know about the men who came before as long as I was going be the last. - October 25, 2011 at 10:07 AM
*Sweeping the house for the wire my cousin obviously has planted somewhere*
Chele, seriously? Do you have my house tapped? Me and the hubs just had this convo Sunday. Albeit we have known each other since 3rd grade but the man loves to dig, he wants to know about everything that went on with me in the 9 years that we were not a couple and I tend to divulge as little as possible, which frustrates him, he thinks we should know EVERYTHING about each other and our past relationships. I think the past should be left in the past, I'm not who I was then and neither is he and we are totally not who we were when we were with other people. Different people bring out different sides of you. My exes would never believe the woman I am with my husband, he brings out the best in me always has. Some of my exes confuse the shiggity out of me because they are nothing like they were when we were together. His exes would have a heart attack if they knew of the things he does for me and with me, because he refused to do them with or for them. Different people just cause different sides to come out, 'tis life. - October 25, 2011 at 10:09 AM
- taut_7 said...
i know the way i approach every relationship i have with a woman is different. women aren't the same so why would i treat them the same. for instance if i'm with a woman is really guarded and emotionally distant i'm not going to behave the same around her as i would a woman who wore her emotions on her sleeve.
- October 25, 2011 at 10:13 AM
- Trey Charles said...
A few months back, first date and girlie spends at least an hour detailing what happened with her last 5 relationships. I said nothing. By the time they brought dessert she said. "You don't talk much." I said, "Feel free to tell the next one that you ruined any chance of a relationship by oversharing out the gate. How's your tiramisu?"
- October 25, 2011 at 10:13 AM
- Trey Charles said...
- October 25, 2011 at 10:14 AM
- Trey Charles said...
We need to grab that last paragraph and add it to Bougie Bachelor Manifesto.
- October 25, 2011 at 10:15 AM
- Trey Charles said...
He really can't shut up. #happyazz
- October 25, 2011 at 10:15 AM
- OneChele said...
I do have your house bugged, stop looking for it, you'll never find it. #ImEverywhere ;-)
- October 25, 2011 at 10:17 AM
- OneChele said...
I didn't want to know about the men who came before as long as I was going be the last. Awww
- October 25, 2011 at 10:18 AM
- michaeldavis said...
what was her response/reaction?
- October 25, 2011 at 10:22 AM
- Bonita Applebum said...
To me, knowing what happened in past relationships has nothing to do with the person. Because anything that was an issue then would just show up in other facets of their life. Got into money issues with an ex? Most likely they're stingy (or overly generous) with money with other people. Trust issues in the past? Trust issues with other people around them.
And that's not a blanket statement, because there's always exceptions to everything. But I think in order for a relationship to be successful, you make sure you have the ground work laid out, then adjust to the little things. It's like buying a house. Why buy a 1 bedroom shack and tear down the walls to make it into a 5 bedroom ranch? Just go for the ranch in the first place and decorate it the way you like.
....that's kind of a horrible analogy but you know what I mean. - October 25, 2011 at 10:23 AM
- Trey Charles said...
She liked the tiramisu. :-\
She said she thought I'd appreciate her full disclosure. - October 25, 2011 at 10:25 AM
I don't know, I'm torn. I was dating this one guy and I found out he had left a string a broken hearts and kids all up and down the Eastern seaboard. I would've liked to know that early. Then again, he probably wouldn't have told me.
- October 25, 2011 at 10:30 AM
I don't believe that people can change who they are fundamentally, but I do believe time and experience can allow people to upgrade and become better versions of themselves.
I have recently been coming to terms with the fact that I will be 40 in a few short years, so I've been in serious reflection mode. I have categorized my adult life into 5 eras: my pre-engaged 20's, my engaged 20's, my married 20's, my pre-kid 30's, and my post kid 30's. I know for a fact that as I have moved through each era, there has been significant change that has taken place in my life, most of which has been for the better. I acknowledge that I am still fundamentally the same me that I have always been; however, I am older, wiser, and way more experienced. My pre-engaged 20's self had some ways that my engaged 20's self had to reduce and/or retire. There are decisions that my married 20's self made that my pre-kid 30's self would certainly rethink. There are options that my post-kid 30's self has at her disposal that my former selves wouldn't even know how to handle. I have grown and evolved over time.
As we live this life we encounter many, many people and if we are lucky we meet people who make us want to make us fulfill our untapped potential and simply be better people. They inspire us to be and do more. Friends, significant others, children - they all impact us in ways that others may not have thought possible. Just because someone was unable to see something in us in years gone by, doesn't mean that it hasn't always been there. - October 25, 2011 at 10:30 AM
- OneChele said...
I like the HGTV analogy.
- October 25, 2011 at 10:30 AM
- JAMES MCCOY said...
No need to carry unwanted issues to the next relationship,learn from the mistakes and move on!
- October 25, 2011 at 10:31 AM
People change for each relationship, because each is different - the dynamic between the two people in the relationship has as much influence on how they behave as their individual characters/personalities. Healthy relationships will push you to become a better you. Unhealthy ones apply pressure for you to change or to become your worst self. Or to stay stagnant. You should only change if the relationship objectively allows you to become the better you without sacrificing who you are at your core.
I have noticed that I changed in relationships, and I think that if you take time to evaluate each relationship, you can find a lesson that will help you get better. Some of those lessons will be easier than others. In my opinion, the hardest ones are those tied into your strongest traits. And these traits are not only the most innate/reflexive, but also the ones that have a proven upside in your life.
As for an SO's past, I need to know the basics (no criminal history, legal marital status, number of children, if you were intimate with anyone I'm going to run into on a frequent basis). Details can only be gleaned over time, and so I don't need a full play by play because if I'm observant, I'll find out certain things about you anyway. - October 25, 2011 at 10:31 AM
- md_KG said...
Tiramisu is yummy though. - October 25, 2011 at 10:33 AM
Unless she knifing bruhs on the third date, I don't really want to know what came before. It's going to color my thinking and who needs that?
- October 25, 2011 at 10:33 AM
No "She Smashed The Homies" moments? lol
- October 25, 2011 at 10:33 AM
I only need to know about something from a previous relationship if it could cause me harm in the present. (i.e. your ex murdered new chick and got off) I like healthy communication and the guy needs to know that I don't like trunks of issues being dragged forward to what they are trying to have with me.
I am the one that always waits until I am really ready to move forward before I even try to date a guy because I like it to be about us but I haven't always been the recipient of the same courtesy. - October 25, 2011 at 10:36 AM
:p I knew it! Well I'll just be extra careful of what I say, lol. I LOVE YOU!!!
- October 25, 2011 at 10:45 AM
Hmm, I've been on the dating seen all of... well, not that long so all I'll say is this.
3N may have flipped the script emotionally speaking, but his actions make it clear he always knew how to act. No one pulls out and implements relationship status updates and talking it out, out of thin air or b/c they read it in a book. He wasn't emotionally available with them other women b/c he didn't want to be, not because he didn't know how.
Anyways, I say a persons past relationship behaivour is very important but only to a certain extent. If I was forewarned a man I fancied was emotionally unavailable, stingy with his dinero or was a childish, I'd take that into consideration and determine how I felt about it as the relationship progressed b/c that's no reason to not at least test the waters if I liked the man. He very well have changed or might treat me differently.
On the other hand, if the guy I fancied had a history of being emotionally abusive, physically abusive, cheating (especially with no protection) and etc. I wouldn't care to find out if he had changed, and wouldn't even begin to consider the possibility unless they'd been through extensive therapy. Such behavior point to a general disregard for basic human decency and a pathology that implies they either didn't think what they were doing was wrong, or just didn't care. Either way, I'd don't mess with "im" or "a" moral people. - October 25, 2011 at 10:59 AM
Honestly, I don't want to know too much about the past (i.e. your "number"). However, I do believe that sharing is caring but I would rather focus on what we have now. I haven't had a ton of relationships but I can say that I have changed with time. The easiest thing for me to change was to be more spontaneous. Men like that. The hardest thing for me to change was to open up more. I tend to hold in how I feel but I met a man that made it easier for me to express myself. BUT, that's the difference between my 22 year old self and my soon to be 32 year old self. One can't be mad at that!
- October 25, 2011 at 11:16 AM
I believe there's something to be said for the phenomenon of people bringing out things in you that you didn't know were there—and that can be for the good or for the bad. In this instance, it would seem that you have brought out communication skills in David that he either a) didn't know were there or b) he didn't care enough to utilize with other women he's dated/been in relationships with.
There is, too, something to be said for plain ole' growth . I can think back on certain relationships and the woman (or girl; let's be real) I was then—and how I've evolved from her. There's a lyric from a Floetry song that I love which describes this perfectly—"I loved the girl I used to be/every step she took/was reaching out to me." We can't really hate who we were—it ushered us into who we are. Everything living should be growing.
That said, in David's shoes, when approached by this particular mouthy ex, I don't know that I would have even apologized. Unless she'd brought up some specific wrong I committed that was still causing her large amounts of pain that would disappear only with the "closure" of an apology from me. But this chick? She was on some "let me run you your character flaws" stuff which, IMO, had no place in any conversation between them. They're.not.together.anymore.
People can be weird. LOL - October 25, 2011 at 11:17 AM
Healthy relationships will push you to become a better you. Unhealthy
ones apply pressure for you to change or to become your worst self. Or
to stay stagnant.
I wholeheartedly agree with this! - October 25, 2011 at 11:19 AM
- michaeldavis said...
WELP *hums Paul Simon - the sounds of Silence*
- October 25, 2011 at 11:20 AM
- michaeldavis said...
no ma'am, we'll be passing on that scene. LOL
- October 25, 2011 at 11:20 AM
- LikeLena said...
Instead of having the historical chat, I prefer to have the expectations talk. What do you want now? What works for you now? Have do we move forward instead of looking back.
- October 25, 2011 at 11:21 AM
It has been my experience that the desire for full disclosure out the gate is a feminine trait. I have known women who have attempted to gather so much data first dates that they really should have shown up with scantrons and #2 pencils. On the contrary, I have never met a brotha who wanted to know anything other than basics on first dates.
- October 25, 2011 at 11:21 AM
Makes perfect sense, T. I respect the man who realizes his "A" game might just only be his "C" game with me. Not saying this is *your* situation, but I'm saying everything you did with the last chick might not work on me. Get to know ME.
- October 25, 2011 at 11:22 AM
Smart man.
- October 25, 2011 at 11:23 AM
Wait, so if someone has dated an acquaintance then she's off limits? 'splain por favor.
- October 25, 2011 at 11:23 AM
Leave the baggage at the door. We start clean, we start fresh and we start together.
- October 25, 2011 at 11:25 AM
With regard to Relationship Evolution I'm certain that it can happen IF the person takes the time to examine him or herself after the relationship is over. After a serious relationship breakup at least take couple or three or four months to get back into you.
- October 25, 2011 at 11:28 AM
"you wouldn't wear gym shorts to a formal or a tux to a BBQ"
My friends decided one morning to up and get married. They got up in the morning and went to the justice of the peace and got hitched. They didn't get dressed up or anything. they just threw their clothes on and went. The groom was wearing a pair of b-ball shorts and from that point on the bride began referring to that particular pair of shorts as his "tuxedo". - October 25, 2011 at 11:28 AM
"So what happened with your marriage?" Is that first date chatter?
As a divorced person, I can't stand that question. I am not my divorce. Period. - October 25, 2011 at 11:28 AM
The more I learn (about myself specifically and people in general) the more I grow, but I'm still simply a more mature version of the person I've always been. I've never changed (my core) to complement anyone, but I do modify my behavior depending on who I'm dealing with.
Changing the way I think is the hardest; however, once that's done, actions follow easily enough. - October 25, 2011 at 11:29 AM
short and to the point. love it.
- October 25, 2011 at 11:31 AM
Umm no his actions show that he has learned from what didn't work in the past and is making an effort to do better now. It is possible to be unhappy with the way things are (were) find a new tool and then use it when the next opportunity arises so that you don't end up with the same results. Unless you know more than his friends that are posting on here fall back a lil bit. Hell I don't know him but from on here and can see the difference.
There may be jokes mixed in with the life lessons but if reading through Bougieland doesn't make you take pause and at least evaluate & take something back regarding how you interact with people then I don't know what to tell ya. Everbody on here owes Jayme a session fee or two. Ya live, ya learn, ya do betta... - October 25, 2011 at 11:44 AM
Broken hearts is one thing but kids? That's a first date question and if he lies about it then I'm out!
- October 25, 2011 at 11:46 AM
"Different people bring out different things in you."...This right here sums it all up!!!
Some people bring out the worst in you and some bring out the best. - October 25, 2011 at 12:08 PM
*drops tithes and offering in the collection plate*
- October 25, 2011 at 12:10 PM
- OneChele said...
I don't know what to say about that.
- October 25, 2011 at 12:11 PM
"What is the whole point if not to learn from the last one and improve with the next one?"...*writes out lump sum donation to the building fund*
- October 25, 2011 at 12:11 PM
*writes check for Pastor & Wife Anniversary*
- October 25, 2011 at 12:14 PM
Me ex told me from the jump that all of his ex's were selfish, which is why he wasn't with them anymore. I now know that he is a very selfish person himself. That disclosure should have sent off warning bells in my head, so that I could save myself the broken heart and the large therapy bills that I am nursing right now. I've learned my lesson the hard way and now I know that it isn't meant for me to fall in love.
- October 25, 2011 at 12:14 PM
Doesn't make her off limits but you definitely want to know if she dated an acquaintance or one of the homies. Was she an HnQ chick or about to be Mrs. Homie? I need to know what kind of toes I'm stepping on.
- October 25, 2011 at 12:15 PM
*gives donation to remodel Pastor's office*
- October 25, 2011 at 12:18 PM
- Slimuel L. Jackson said...
Jay captured my thoughts. Nothing more I'd add other than I don't like those kind of surprises.
- October 25, 2011 at 12:20 PM
- October 25, 2011 at 12:23 PM
I think each relationship is different with its' own dynamic. The relationships in which I have grown the most forced me to up my game and step out of my comfort zone. I didn't become a different person but a better version of myself. I believe that certain people inspire us to be better and not everyone is able to do that. I think the hard part in dating and relationships is finding that person in which there is mutual encouragement and inspiration so that both of you become better versions of yourselves.
- October 25, 2011 at 12:29 PM
- C Nelson said...
I believe that who you are, as in how you feel inside in response to big stimuli, doesn't change. But if you're doing your homework and growing, how you react to it does. I'm never going to not have abandonment issues, for instance. But I've come from ditching people (before they could ditch me) the moment those got triggered, to "merely" freezing them out temporarily, to understanding where the urge comes from enough to talk myself down -- and discuss it with my partner. I have tools in my repertoire that I just didn't have when I started. I had to learn them, often enough the hard way.
And some of them, I must say, from my partners. Every guy I've dated has been a better fit for me than the last one, and taught me new things. Every one of them has dated a slightly better version of me, too. I talked to my ex -- the one I married two days after my twenty-first birthday -- last week, for only the second time in fourteen years. He hasn't changed much, and that appalled me. I have changed, at the very least enough to not be drawn into the crazy (not a metaphor or exaggeration, sadly) and that angered him. That ten minute conversation was like a condensed version of every last thing that used to work on me back then. The girl he dated was a much better fit for him than the one she grew into. I'll be thanking God every single day for awhile that she did grow. - October 25, 2011 at 12:30 PM
- rozb said...
Sometimes you change because the person you are with complements who you actually are vice who you feel you have to be. That's a good thing. It also shows you are maturing and becoming self-confident and self-aware.
The easiest thing to change is what you may be willing to try (not some nasty stuff! :P). A new S.O. may influence you to get more education or try new hobbies because they inspire you to new heights. The hardest thing to change is the ability to trust someone without bringing baggage. Past hurts can cling like a bad scent so to be open to fresh air can be a great feat.
Like you OneChele - a love's past isn't the biggest factor in my life unless it involves some criminal activity, unfinished ex-S.O. business, or any secret furtive behavior that may screw with my security, home, or credit. - October 25, 2011 at 12:37 PM
- rozb said...
You hit the nail on the head!
- October 25, 2011 at 12:44 PM
The bougie bruhs have spoke up in here up in here this day!!! I have paid tithes, offerings, building funds and the like! Very good information guys!
After reading the post and some of these comments I'm starting to feel like some of the past information is unnecessary. I need to re-think this. I know why I want to know, but unless they're being honest in the story they give, I still don't know. - October 25, 2011 at 12:45 PM
Wait a minute...
- October 25, 2011 at 12:51 PM
- SingLikeSassy said...
"now I know that it isn't meant for me to fall in love." <--wait, what?! That's a lot of power to give to another person. Keep seeing the therapist.
- October 25, 2011 at 12:51 PM
Also I know that I am different in relationships but am still always me. We all have our good side and our bad side and some people are good at pushing you more toward your bad side. So I have learned to remove myself from people who have the potential to bring out the worst in me.
- October 25, 2011 at 12:52 PM
- October 25, 2011 at 12:55 PM
- C Nelson said...
You do not know that it isn't meant for you to fall in love because you once dated a selfish guy any more than you would know that riding a bike with a flat tire once meant you're never meant to own a Lamborghini. You picked wrong that time. Next time you'll pick better, or at least avoid ignoring that particular red flag. :)
- October 25, 2011 at 1:00 PM
- MsJamie14 said...
I am beginning to HATE you. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- October 25, 2011 at 1:01 PM
- taut_7 said...
exactly and i would hope that she wouldn't bring any hangups or anything else from a different relationship to the one we have.
- October 25, 2011 at 1:03 PM
- Ivory Tabb said...
If you are still treating people and your relationships the
same way you did when you were a child, maybe you need to look in the mirror
and adjust accordingly. BTW with that
being said I also know why your single! - October 25, 2011 at 1:19 PM
- Jubi The Great said...
- October 25, 2011 at 1:20 PM
- Jubi The Great said...
Its the learning part that is tricky for most ppl. Instead of figuring out the lessons, they'd rather just assume the other person was to blame & keep repeating the same old things. Some folks eventually figure this out, but a lot dont.
- October 25, 2011 at 1:22 PM
- Ms. LTB said...
I try to approach each relationship different because each man is different. I've yet to get involved with 2 who were just alike. That being said, I have noticed that I am more patient/understanding/willing to communicate/compromise as I've gotten older. However, all the men that I encounter don't all manage to inspire me to want to do any of these things. Some slide me instantly back down to the "nah I don't want to talk about it and nope I'm good you don't have to [insert requested item/action here]" mode and I know right then that whomever he is, he is NOT a man that I need in my life.
As for the past - I just need to know you haven't slept with any friends/family members, you STD free, and don't get off on trying to either A. put me down/make me doubt myself or B. hitting/kicking/slapping/forcing to perform acts of a sexual nature/etc. because acts A and B will get you locked up in the best case scenario and buried in the worst. - October 25, 2011 at 1:49 PM
Sometimes you change because the person you are with complements who you actually are vice who you feel you have to be. That's a good thing. It also shows you are maturing and becoming self-confident and self-aware.
^^^^^ THISx1000!! - October 25, 2011 at 1:51 PM
- Ms. LTB said...
Your wallet and checkbook should both be tired LOL because going down the mental list of things the church always asking for money for, you haven't missed many :-)
- October 25, 2011 at 1:51 PM
- Leon X said...
To paraphrase George C. Wolfe's "The Colored Museum", I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago or 10 minutes ago. That's all I really have.
- October 25, 2011 at 1:54 PM
- Ms. LTB said...
You now know that you weren't meant to fall in love with HIM (or at least men like him). Don't give up on all men just because one (or two or forty) wasn't right. Eventually the right man will come along and when he does, hopefully, you'll be recovered and ready for him.
- October 25, 2011 at 1:54 PM
Denying your kid(s) is an instant automatic immediate have a seat cut pile kicked to the curb it's over violation with me!
- October 25, 2011 at 2:06 PM
Other's before him set the stage, this relationship was just the fat lady singing. I wish I was better at knowing someone is wrong for me before I fall for them, but this time took the cake. I know that I have to close myself off to love, because I can't take the risk anymore of getting my heartbroken. I've been dumped one to many times. It's hard to wake up every day and not find one good reason to get out of bed.
- October 25, 2011 at 2:08 PM
When I read that statement my heart sunk for her. :-(
- October 25, 2011 at 2:08 PM
- CorettaJG said...
I agree, that is not first date chatter. At all.
But, eventually I do want to know what happened with the first marriage sans gory details. For my situational awareness. :-) - October 25, 2011 at 2:11 PM
Sleepless, I mean this with all the sincerity that is within me, if your therapist is not helping to remove this thought from your mind, please find another one! You can think that it might not have been meant for you to fall in love with that man, or any man right now, at this time. But another way to look at it is to take the lesson from the pain and the warning bells that you ignored. I've played the fool for two different men, and it DID NOT feel good. However, I accepted my responsibility in staying with two fools who showed me they were fools. And with the second one I thought I could love him enough for the both of us! Stop worrying about what he did wrong and focus and learn from what you did wrong...Please ma'am and I'm praying for you.
- October 25, 2011 at 2:17 PM
"A new S.O. may influence you to get more education or try new hobbies because they inspire you to new heights."...And this is who I will be turning flips for breaking out the poms poms!
- October 25, 2011 at 2:20 PM
He musta hurt you pretty bad, there has been rumours of a bougie mafia all decked out in purple and stuff.
Take your time to heal, that selfish man is busy being selfish somewhere else. Try not to let his selfishness get space in your life. He is gone, let all his negativity and selfishness go with him.
Love is too beautiful for you to cut yourself off from.
Be Easy.. - October 25, 2011 at 2:21 PM
Girl just need the babies to come around selling their candy/wrapping paper for the children's church! LOL
- October 25, 2011 at 2:22 PM
As for the past - I just need to know you haven't slept with any
friends/family members, you STD free, and don't get off on trying to
either A. put me down/make me doubt myself or B.
hitting/kicking/slapping/forcing to perform acts of a sexual nature/etc.
because acts A and B will get you locked up in the best case scenario
and buried in the worst.
LMAO!!! I hear ya. - October 25, 2011 at 2:30 PM
B is one of the main reasons why I try to get a feel of failed relationships. "Really, and then what did you do?"
- October 25, 2011 at 2:31 PM
- SingLikeSassy said...
Girl everybody in these comments has been crushed at least once, probably more than that by love. Ask John from PDX about how he ended up in Texas. I just divorced a man I loved and stuck needles in my ass to try and have babies because HE was infertile who turned out to be a cheater.
And yet, we're all still out here pushing forward, loving and living.
My point is, you can't throw the baby out with the bath water. Keep seeing the therapist. And, as Cali said, do some hard thinking about what it was those men had in common that attracted you.
But to declare you will never fall in love again is defeatist and we don't do that here in Bougieland.
Best of luck. - October 25, 2011 at 2:58 PM
- Ms. LTB said...
LOL why am I in my office dying of laughter imagining dude giving you the wrong response and you quietly gathering all of your things, holding up one finger like you in church, and vanishing.
- October 25, 2011 at 3:10 PM
- Ms. LTB said...
LOL shhhh...... don't say that too loud. You know it's almost Christmas. Prime time for the churches/schools/scouts to be sending out the wrapping paper fundraiser books.
- October 25, 2011 at 3:11 PM
Take time to heal and recognize any patterns you are currently ignoring THEN be ready for love again. That you woke up is reason enough to be thankful for the opportunity to do better. ((HUGS))
- October 25, 2011 at 3:17 PM
And after this^^^^, there ain't nothing left to say!
::cues in the benediction::
"May the Lord bless you and keep you, May the Lord make his face to shine upon you....." - October 25, 2011 at 3:17 PM
Naw sistergirl you're not going down like that, not on my watch! And by that I mean I can't hear you talk like that and not reach out. If you believe me in God, hit me up and I'll send you some scriptures and inspirational quotes and thoughts. You can't continue to think like this! Do you know who you belong to? Do you know that you are a treasure? Please email me, email@example.com.
- October 25, 2011 at 3:24 PM
I am serious when I say that is one of my biggest fears because I think I would LITERALLY lose my mind! Just found out last week that a guy that tried to date me (major fail) used to beat his ex-wife! GTFOH!!!
- October 25, 2011 at 3:33 PM
My last two bf's kept adding children as the months went on. "Do you have any kids?" "Oh yeah I have a daughter." Two months later..."So yeah my son said..."
- October 25, 2011 at 3:39 PM
It's hard to wake up every day and not find one good reason to get out of bed.
Yet, just like the sun, every morning you rise.
God/Allah/Buddha/ is waking you up for a reason. Your life's mission is yet to be discovered. But I will say for sure it is not simply to mate or be in coupledom
This is real life, and most times it can feel like you are a small fish surrounded by a sea of sharks. YOU must find a way to make it work. You must decide that YOU are worth waking up for. You have to find that place to be happy.
And quite frankly, you have to start falling in love with yourself. Learn to love you, If you can truly love yourself then whether you are with or without a man, it wouldn't matter. - October 25, 2011 at 3:48 PM
- CorettaJG said...
I co-sign what Sassy said (below).
Sending warm thoughts and prayers your way Sleepless in DC. Sassy is so right when she says many of us have been through heartbreak, and we know how wrenching it is. But life is made up of relationships and it doesn't end there. You have many good years ahead of you. Don't miss your blessings distracted by some fool who probably isn't even thinking about you right now.
When I went through my divorce a few years ago I went through all the stages of grief. I was withdrawn, I cried, raged, I slept all the time, I moved through life just going through the motions. I felt like a failure. I really believe all the time I spent being "down" contributed to a later auto-immune diagnosis. Stress can kill.
I finally had to remind myself who I was. And that's pretty fabulous. :-)
Yes, there were lessons I needed to learn through my experience, but one of the important ones was that the ultimate decision by my husband was more about HIM than it was about ME.
I couldn't take responsibility for his decisions. I could only control what was in my power. I decided to accept the support of my friends and family, get out of the house, dress up, renew my spiritual life, and revive doing the things that helped make me who I was. I still had my moments, but eventually it was hard to remember the foolishness that was me on the couch for days on end.
Pick your head up girl. Remember who you are and whose you are. God didn't make no junk. - October 25, 2011 at 3:49 PM
- CorettaJG said...
- October 25, 2011 at 3:51 PM
I'm just reading all these responses and quietly taking notes...
- October 25, 2011 at 3:59 PM
- Mykeia said...
Serious side-eye to ole boy...
- October 25, 2011 at 4:05 PM
- Mykeia said...
"I loved the girl I used to be/every step she took/was reaching out to me." <----thanks for this, I needed this today! E-hugs!
- October 25, 2011 at 4:11 PM
- Angel Blanca said...
I've been in lurking mode lately, but could not refrain from commenting on this post. I've been told that I am more open, forthcoming, and outspoken with what I expect and what I will provide in relationships. I do know, however, that this is less a function of being in relationships, and more a function of being assured of who I am and what I want in my life.
In previous relationships, if I was not able to express something, I just left, no good-bye or no chance for follow-up; but now, I tend to say why I'm dissatisfied, angry, hurt, etc., and we talk about what we each expect. I've never inquired about their previous relationships, and none of my partners has every inquired about my previous relationships. However, in looking back at my relationships, I can say that I tended (still tend?) to choose men who I will have no trouble leaving or saying good-bye to should it come to that. In fact, now that I think about it, I chose (choose?) relationships based upon how easy it was (is?) to leave them. Okay, so I'm just realizing this, and it's not something to which I would have admitted before, which means I obviously still have some work to do on trust, despite how far I've come already.
I've always been fairly malleable in all of my interactions, as I move from group to group, many of which are drastically different, so it's natural for me to be complementary to others. If you're more extrovert, I'll revel in my introversion, giving you center stage, and if you're more introvert, I'll don the mask of extroversion and become the social butterfly.
Hmmm, I don't know that I've answered any question or made any contribution to the overall discourse, but I do want to thank you, Chele, for this post, as it's provided me with a way of engaging in a bit of therapy myself. *goes to meditate on this more* - October 25, 2011 at 4:13 PM
- Mykeia said...
Dap for "The Colored Museum" reference.
- October 25, 2011 at 4:15 PM
- Ivory Tabb said...
caligirl ed you hit it straight on the head, we want to know! We as woman want to know so we can try to control the situation as much as possible. A good woman hates to be played especially when she doesn't deserve it and the heauxx/side chicks are out there straight winning.
- October 25, 2011 at 4:27 PM
- Ms. LTB said...
Oh wow. I was cautious before but now I'm even more cautious since I work with domestic violence victims. I have met several who the very first time they were beaten was on their wedding nights. I'm not sure which scares me more that that was the first time it happened or the fact that they all stayed for double digit years before finally leaving (if they left at all).
Then last week at a DV conference a survivor spoke (after she left guy he tracked her down and shot her 4 times then killed himself. He thought he had killed her but was too drunk to realize the last shot didn't go in her head it went in her stomach) and it amazed me to hear just how much abuse shame and alleged love will cause a person to accept. I personally hope to never meet a man who's love and/or cocoa stirring skills make me even think about accepting that type of situation. Trust me when I say that I understand the fear because it's one of mine also. - October 25, 2011 at 4:28 PM
Me ex told me from the jump that all of his ex's were selfish <------What NOT to do ! More than one ex wife ? Uhm, no..
- October 25, 2011 at 5:04 PM
I know that it isn't meant for me to fall in love. <-----NO, it's not meant for you to fall in love with HIM..or someone like him. You will fall in love with the person who is right for and deserving of you and what you have to offer.
- October 25, 2011 at 5:09 PM
- The Bunni said...
Sweetie just the fact that you woke up is reason enough to get out of bed everyday. Many were not so fortunate. Also not getting up is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. My heart goes out to you because I've been where you are and felt what you feel (quite recently actually). Please trust me when I say this too shall pass. Although you may not be able to see it yet, things WILL get better and you WILL get through this and be stronger for it.
- October 25, 2011 at 5:09 PM
- maureen said...
E-hugs to these ladies; CorettaJG SingLikeSassy rozb Earthangel172 Singlelif - they give the best adi advice. You can feel their sincerity over the web. Thanks!
- October 25, 2011 at 5:29 PM
Aww.... you two make me smile :-)
I've changed a lot over the years from experiences and contemplation. Some of those experiences were relationships. I'm still changing. I do think how somebody talks about their past tells you a lot about them. I don't think there is a fail safe way to separate the wheat from the chaff when dating, but you get better at it as you get older. I'm a big believer in instinct because I think your subconscious picks up on things your mind doesn't see.
There isn't much chance of my running into any Exs. My parents don't live where I grew up and the others are scattered about. I hope they wouldn't have any harsh things to say if I ran into them. I did try which I think is all any of us can do in the end. I suspect the last one might give me an ear full in the name of closure, but he is going to have to find me first.
We learn our first communication skills from our parents so it may be that if you asked Mama Chase about the "Lets Take a Moment and Talk About This" and all that, you'd find where it came from. What's important, though, is that he has those skills now. Oh yeah and he is plain old crazy in love with you. :-) - October 25, 2011 at 6:23 PM
Sweetie just the fact that you woke up is reason enough to get out of
bed everyday. Many were not so fortunate. Also not getting up is a
permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Now this will preach!! - October 25, 2011 at 6:27 PM
Right back atcha! You're too kind.
- October 25, 2011 at 6:31 PM
- October 25, 2011 at 6:42 PM
I truly believe that abusive men know how to find women that will take it. I think sometimes they get it wrong and try it on one that won't, but for the most part they know how to pick 'em. And maybe this is why I've never encountered it. I just pray to God that some abusive man doesn't "get it wrong" with me.
- October 25, 2011 at 6:49 PM
I'm just going to cosign Jan and Slim and add a caveat. The world is smaller then you think. I had a personal situation where I stated seeing someone and found out that she previously dated the brother of a woman I used to date. And this is in Los Angeles. 5 million peeps. We are still together though.
"Of all the gin joints in all the cities in all the world..." - October 25, 2011 at 6:51 PM
And the doors of the church are open. Whomsoever will let them come...
- October 25, 2011 at 6:53 PM
YOU are in a real giving mood today! LOL
- October 25, 2011 at 6:55 PM
It doesn't matter on the first date. The only thing I am trying to learn is if I like her enough for there to be a second date.
- October 25, 2011 at 6:58 PM
Broken hearts are one thing. Kids everywhere are a whole different issue...
- October 25, 2011 at 6:59 PM
Definitely food for thought - thanks for sharing!
- October 25, 2011 at 7:10 PM
But Ivory, all you can know is what happened in the past. Good or bad. Past performance is no guarantee of future results.
- October 25, 2011 at 7:30 PM
I think it's best to save my breath when it comes to matters I ultimately don't care about, despite my impulse to make sure I'm being properly understood. That's something I learned here, so I see your point.
That lesson is why I'm not about to go write an essay to fully express my thoughts on this subject that, while you'd still take issue with it because I am just going off what I read here & on twitter, I think you'd see I don't have to be one of the Georgia Boys to have come to the "inspired to do better" conclusion.
ETA: I see Sarah just posted this gem "We learn our first communication skills from our parents so it may be that if you asked Mama Chase about the "Lets Take a Moment and Talk About This" and all that, you'd find where it came from."
That's part of where my admittedly presumptuous statement about David already knowing what to do came from. We all have scripts we grow up with but don't necessarily adhere to. I got the vibe being open and talking it out was one of David's and he only now felt compelled to put it to use. - October 25, 2011 at 8:48 PM
I thank God for growth. I thank God for the wise words that were shared here today, and I thank God for the opportunity to get another chance to try again to be a better person the very next day.
- October 25, 2011 at 8:56 PM
you know, some people have no idea the type of damage they leave around, they just breeze in and breeze out.
I'm not sure what stage the sistah is in her therapy, but I sure do wish she get to the stage where she recognises that we are only in control of our selves and our choices, life is for learning that not everyone out there is looking for happy. - October 25, 2011 at 10:30 PM
Now that was beautiful! And that will end my innanets for the night.
- October 25, 2011 at 10:45 PM
- OneChele said...
Great answer T-Mack.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry® - October 25, 2011 at 10:54 PM
Awwwhhhh shucks :) Muah !
- October 26, 2011 at 2:29 AM
You are correct. Sometimes we have to "get to happy" on our own. Wait, didnt Terry McMillian write a book with that title..? One thing I learned since I've been living the Singlelif is that I will never again let someone else control my emotions. I use to gravitate towards men who wanted to be with me, and struggle to make the relationship work. Nowadays, my interests are ONLY with those men with whom the attraction is mutual. #LifeLessons
- October 26, 2011 at 2:36 AM
AMEN! lol
That's why I point and laugh at men who try to tell me how to speak or how to be.
Cos when you really look at their life all you see is how small they are. They can't help but to project their insecurities on you.
In relationships, I tend to pick men who like 'me' the person, not the look, not the way I speak e.t.c. - October 26, 2011 at 5:32 AM
- CorettaJG said...
Yes ma'am!
- October 26, 2011 at 8:05 AM
- Ivory Tabb said...
GAM you are right but past performance speak volumes! Everything that you do in life is based off what you did previously. You get a raise based of prior performance, you get hired based of previous experience, i know you see where im going with this lol. So even though its no guarantee of future results you do want to know a lil history.
- October 26, 2011 at 11:03 AM
My response is very simple. I am less uptight than I was and he is cognizant of his penchant for holding back for the sake of appearing strong. HE recently decided that he WANTS to open up with me and shared very deeply. I'm MORE impressed with his desire and efforts to communicate, than the information communicated, which is ALSO what impresses me MOST about this post.... Who you were is very important, but most significant is its impact/influence on who you are NOW choosing to be.....
Go David and Chele..You two and "My Dude" make my heart smile - October 26, 2011 at 11:32 PM
The experience that comes with living life can bring profound changes in a person. It is called "learning from your mistakes", and " growing as a person". A person that remains the same all their life is sad indeed...
- October 27, 2011 at 7:02 PM
- Bougie Girl said...
I am definitely way more laidback than I was ten years ago. I will still call out BS, but, am more gentle in my approach and less abrasive overall.
- October 29, 2011 at 9:23 AM
My response is very simple. I am less uptight than I was and he is cognizant of his penchant for holding back for the sake of appearing strong. HE recently decided that he WANTS to open up with me and shared very deeply. I'm MORE impressed with his desire and efforts to communicate, than the information communicated, which is ALSO what impresses me MOST about this post.... Who you were is very important, but most significant is its impact/influence on who you are NOW choosing to be.....
Go David and Chele..You two and "My Dude" make my heart smile - January 9, 2012 at 5:07 PM