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The Office of Research and Technology coordinates three areas of activity in the Library:
Library Information Technology includes people, technology and services of all types, on this campus and world-wide.
We work and communicate effectively through both internal and external partnerships that leverage and extend our resources by combining and sharing expertise, documentation, and decision-making processes.
We continually strive to streamline the organization through common processes, procedures, and tools thus reducing consumption of resources and consolidating our efforts to lead to a greater level of service.
We respond quickly to changes in the demand for services by staying attuned to the needs of library staff and library patrons, and we keep up to date with the library information technology landscape—when it changes, so do we.
We value research and creativity, solving problems in a forward-thinking manner, and offering an environment where exploration is encouraged and mistakes are tolerated as necessary in the pursuit of progress.
We provide reliable support to Library patrons and staff by responding quickly, communicating clearly and accurately, thinking and acting creatively to solve problems, and offering solutions and services that address current and projected needs.
We strive to be integrated and adaptive to the needs of the Library and the campus community by leveraging resources and information technologies that promote research, instruction and service.
The University Library's Gateway website is one of the most heavily-used services on campus, averaging over 50 million visits per year. Through the Gateway the Library provides campus access to catalogs of print and digital materials (over 10 million titles), and to the online full text of over 60,000 electronic journals, over 200 abstracting and indexing databases, reference works, encyclopedias, directories and other resources.
The Library is digitizing collections through both the Internet Archive and Google. Through these and other initiatives we make a significant contribution to information technology, standards, and guidelines.
The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign is the proud home of one of the largest and richest public research library collections in North America. The contributions of the library faculty and staff make it a dynamic and world class institution.
Library IT supports the overall Library & University vision by making the Library ubiquitous and integrated into all communities affiliated with the University, by providing technologies to support the Library's role in research, scholarship and learning, by placing user need at the heart of technology services, by fostering expertise to keep pace with technologies and by creating new systems and services while maintaining the Library's essential technology foundation.
You are encouraged to use our systems and services, and to let us know what would enhance your virtual visits to the Library.


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(4) Customer Reviews
Price Range: USD $153.99 to $250.99
Availability: Yes
Enter zip/postal code to calculate shipping amount
FITMENT GUARANTEE All orders are verified for fitment guarantee.
An SUV tire for enhanced traction in changing winter conditions
Specialized ice tread compound offers enhanced traction on ice and snow-covered roads from season to season. 2D blades in the center zone offer enhanced stopping and starting power on snow and ice. 3D TreadLock® technology blades in the shoulder zone offer enhanced wet and winter traction, locking together for confident grip in turns. Directional tread pattern helps channel water and slush away from the tire for enhanced winter traction and handling.
Size: 265/35R18
Vehicle: 2012 Audi Q5 4 Dr Sport Utility "Premium Plus 20"" option" with 3000 KM of Tire Wear
Anonymous made this review on 11/11/2013 and is a Cautious, Reserved Driver
best winter tire i have owned. a little noisy on the highway but great traction on snow and ice. will definitly buy again!
Size: 245/75R16
Vehicle: 1996 GMC Pickup 1500 4WD Extended Cab Short Box (Pickup 1500 4WD Extended Cab Short Box) with 15000 KM of Tire Wear
Anonymous made this review on 1/13/2013 and is a Aggressive Driver (Hard Cornering)
Very quite ride, excellent in snow, very pleased with this tire
Size: 255/70R17
Vehicle: 2012 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Sahara with 25000 KM of Tire Wear
Anonymous made this review on 1/9/2013 and is a Confident, Experienced Driver
great tire so far, very minimal tread wear and superb handling in dry and wet conditions. Slips a considerable amount in snowy and icy conditions, but overall a great tire.
Vehicle: 1996 GMC Pickup 1500 4WD Extended Cab 4x4 Long Box (Pickup 1500 4WD Extended Cab 4x4 Long Box) with 65000 KM of Tire Wear
Anonymous made this review on 1/5/2013 and is a Aggressive Driver (Hard Cornering)
All orders are verified for fitment guarantee
Verified by tire & wheel expert
We honor the fitment.
If your vehicle information is present on your order, we will verify fitment to qualify you for the 100% Fitment Gaurantee. If your order arrives and the tires or wheels do not fit your vehicle, we will honor an exchange and pay for freight for the return and new set. If there are concerns about your order we will contact you about potential fitment issues.
Our Fitment Gaurantee applies to orders that come with full vehicle information (Year, Make Model, Sub-Model). If you are confident that the vehicle information is not necessary for your order, we will proceed without checking fitment. However, in the event there is a fitment issue with your order, we will honor a return/exchange, as per our return / refund policy. You will be responsible for freight charges (both ways).

subset: commoncrawl


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PREHEAT oven to 350°F. Microwave semi-sweet chocolate and butter in large microwaveable bowl on HIGH 2 min. or until butter is melted, stirring after 30 sec. Stir until chocolate is completely melted. Blend in milk and vanilla. Add flour and walnuts; mix well. (Dough will be stiff.)
SHAPE 1 level tablespoonful of dough around each caramel half, enclosing caramel completely. Roll in sugar. Place, 1 inch apart, on ungreased baking sheets.
BAKE 6 to 8 min. or cookies are until soft and shiny. Let stand 5 min. on baking sheet. Transfer to wire racks. Cool completely. (Cookies will firm up as they cool.)


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HEAT oven to 325°F.
MIX crumbs, nuts and butter; press onto bottom and 1 inch up side of 9-inch springform pan.
BEAT cream cheese and sugar in large bowl with mixer until blended. Add pumpkin, spice and vanilla; mix well. Add eggs, 1 at a time, mixing on low speed after each just until blended. Pour into crust.
BAKE 1 hour 20 min. to 1 hour 30 min. or until center is almost set. Loosen cake from rim of pan; cool before removing rim. Refrigerate cheesecake 4 hours.


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How much does Tegra and GeForce have in common?
Phoronix: NVIDIA Tegra DRM Prepares For Linux 3.10 Kernel
The first NVIDIA Tegra DRM driver changes for the Linux 3.10 kernel are now known...
How much does Tegra and GeForce have in common?
AFAIK tegra 1-3 are somewhat similar to pre-unified shader geforces (up to geforce 7000 series), but tegra 5, which is slated for late 2014, will sport a Kepler core.
All this open source Tegra work is for Tegra 2 and 3 it sounds like. Any guesses if this could apply to Tegra 4 as well? 4 is the same family as 2/3, as opposed to 5 which will be Kepler, right?


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SPIN Fitness® Dual Grip Medicine Ball 25lb
This item is Coming Soon!
- Description
New from SPIN Fitness®, this dual grip medicine ball is ideal for abdominal training, rotational movements and strength training.
- Heavy duty texturized rubber coating for no-slip gripping.
- Two-tone coloring.
- Designed to maintain its shape.
- Available in 6 to 30lb
- View the Exercise Guide for this product »


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This Skovby table is the big brother of SM 23. It might be hard to think that a table which can extend to 10 feet might have a big brother, but look on the works of Skovby, ye mighty, and despair. This table can extend to an incredible 11.5 feet, and features three hidden leaves to get the job done. It's modern looking, and available in many different finishes, just like its brethren.
What's to Like:
This is the biggest extending table in the stable. We're a poet that didn't know it; make a rhyme every time.
What's Not to Like:
This is the biggest extending table in the stable. So if you don't have need for a table that gets that big, look in other parts of the...stable.
Bottom Line:
Extending the stable metaphor to the breaking point, this is the Clydesdale, with all the size and grandeur that implies. But sometimes you aren't looking for the most powerful.
This incredibly long table can be extended to a length of over 11.5 feet using three leaves that store under the table top when not in use. The extending dining table's linear, strong profile suits modern decor and simple tastes very well, while the number of veneer and solid wood choices available make it easy to match with your color scheme no matter what it may be. Some assembly required.
SM 24 Dining Table Features:
- Extends from 78.7" to 140" in length
- Also available with 3 extra leaves in your choice of finish, to extend the table to 201.6" in length (Call us at (888) 467-6278 for pricing)
- Each table leaf measures 20.5" x 39.4"
- SM 24 Dining Table internally stores up to 3 leaves
- Seats 8 when closed, 14 with three leaves, and up to 20 with optional three extra leaves (not included in price)
Materials & Measurements
Materials:Table Top: Solid wood, laminate, or veneer
Legs and Frame: Solid wood or veneer
Overall: 78.7" w x 39.4" x d 28.7" h
Product Weight:
220 lb
Your FurnitureGenius Recommendations
Assembly Instructions
View Skovby SM24 Table assembly instructions.Viewing assembly instructions requires Adobe Reader. You can download the latest version of Adobe Reader here.
About The Manufacturer
As a family owned company in Denmark, Skovby has a proud history spanning three generations. From a small workshop in 1933 to its position today as a worldwide supplier, Skovby has maintained the same standard of design plus functionality. From the drying of the raw timber and careful selection of veneers to the finished product, no compromise is made. The skills employed in the use of the natural timbers and the variations therein ensure the individuality of each finished piece.
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- Attractive
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Perfect for our dining room, we typically have 6 eating, but it easily expands on weekends to accommodate more than 20 people
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Shipping & Delivery
Quick Ship (10-15 days): Cherry, Black Wenge
Special Order (6-12 weeks): Oak, Walnut, Beech, Maple, Teak
Standard Shipping Method:
Standard curbside shipping is 5 of item subtotal
Service includes delivery of large, heavy and or fragile items. Deliveries are made directly to your curb, front door or main lobby. Standard service does not include placement inside your home or business, unpacking, assembly or debris removal. Deliveries are generally made within 3-10 days from the time your order ships, and occur Monday through Friday. Day and time specific delivery appointments are required, and someone must be present to receive the order. Appointments are generally set between the hours of 12pm-5pm.
Special Services:
Inside delivery is available upon request. Please call our sales team at 888-467-6278 for a custom quote
Product Q&A
If you have additional questions regarding Smart Furniture's policies in general, please see our FAQs page.Warranty
There is a 5-year limited warranty on extension mechanisms, patented extension systems, and fittings.
Skovby's warranty covers products that were manufactured after January 1, 2007. Minor variations will occur between floor samples, swatches, printed illustrations, and items ordered. Skovby's warranty does not cover a product sold "as is" or purchased from any source other than an authorized Skovby retailer. Any product modification will void this warranty. Any product that is exposed to extreme temperatures, humidity, or misuse will not be covered under the warranty. Transportation costs in connection with product repair of defects will not be covered by the warranty.


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Oral history with the Honorable J. P. Coleman, former governor of Mississippi and chief judge (ret.), the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit - Page 1 |
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Title | Oral history with the Honorable J. P. Coleman, former governor of Mississippi and chief judge (ret.), the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit |
Description | Oral history.; Two interviews conducted on November 12, 1981 and February 6, 1982 with Judge J. P. Coleman. Coleman was born on December 9, 1914 in Fentress, Mississippi. After attending the University of Mississippi, he was invited to work in the election campaign of Congressional candidate Aaron Ford in 1934. When Ford won he asked Coleman to work as one of his two secretaries. In 1937, Coleman passed the bar exam and went on to get his law degree from George Washington University in Washington, D.C. In 1939. Upon his return to Mississippi, Coleman started a law practice until 1946 when he ran for District Attorney of the Fifth Circuit District of Mississippi and won. He served as District Attorney for two terms and in 1950 moved on to served as the Attorney General of Mississippi. In 1956, Coleman ran for governor of Mississippi and won. During his governorship, he also became a member of the Mississippi House of Representatives. |
Date of interview | 1981 November 12 (1st interview); 1982 February 6 (2nd interview) |
Interviewer | Caudill, Orley B. |
Coverage (time period) | (circa 1819)-1982 (primarily 1930s-1960s) |
Resource type | Text |
Format | Digital reproduction of a 157-page document. |
Language | English |
Publisher |
University of Southern Mississippi. Center for Oral History and Cultural Heritage. University of Southern Mississippi Libraries. (electronic version) |
Contributors | Electronic version made available through a National Leadership Grant for Libraries from the Institute for Museum and Library Services. |
Notes | This item is part of the Civil Rights in Mississippi Digital Archive. |
Rights | Copyright protected. Use of materials from this collection beyond the exceptions provided for in the Fair Use and Educational Use clauses of the U.S. Copyright Law may violate federal law. Permission to publish or reproduce is required. |
Contributing institution | Mississippi Oral History Program of the University of Southern Mississippi. |
Digital repository | University of Southern Mississippi Digital Collections. |
Digital collection | Oral History. |
File size | 1009.892 KB |
File extension | |
Identifier | mus-coh.colemanj |
File name | mus-coh.colemanj.pdf |


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Wal-Mart, 2005, Spanish Version
David B. Yoffie, Barbara J. Mack
Revision Date:Apr 14, 2005Publication Date:Jan 04, 2005Discipline:StrategySource:Harvard Business School |
Product number:705S26-PDF-SPA Length:9p |
Spanish PDF
Also Available in:
Spanish PDF | $ 6.93
Wal-Mart has been expanding, both domestically and internationally. Covers recent developments at Wal-Mart, including new stores, new store formats, and international expansion.
learning objective:
To look at strategy and competition in the discount retail environment.
subjects covered:
Corporate strategy; Expansion; Globalization; International business
- Industry: Discount department stores
- Company Employee Count: 1.4 million
- Company Revenue: $258 billion revenues
- Event Year Begin: 2004
- Event Year End: 2005


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Chapel Hill: Signing with Piskor, Rugg, Scioli | |
Written by Anna Pederson | Filed under Jim Rugg, events, Ed Piskor | 11 Jul 2014 2:52 PM |
Saturday, July 12th
Just because it's last minute, doesn't mean it's not worth the mention, because according to this flyer, it's going to be the GREATEST SIGNING OF ALL TIME.
Beloved Chapel Hill Comics is switching ownership hands, but before current owner, Andrew passes off the keys, he's going out with a bang. Come help support local comic books stores, artists and the industry by hanging out with some of the best in the biz. We're patiently waiting for the second volume of Ed Piskor's New York Times Bestseller, Hip Hop Family Tree. But in the mean time, he's taking the time to sign books with fellow comic artists Jim Rugg, who contributed to Mome Vol. 22, Tom Scioli, and Adhouse publisher, Chris Pitzer.
Celebrate the old, ring in the new, and party with Piskor and the gang (the name of my new hip-hop crew).
Party kicks off at 6 pm! With food!


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Prices and availability are subject to change from the time and date that you print this page.
4/28/2015 6:31:09 AM. For Customer Service, please call
Pickup Check store pickup options
coat check. No coat closet? No worry. Our minimalist butler is on duty in a minimum of space. Handcrafted iron frame architects a sleek spot to hang coats with a mango wood shelf below to leverage shoes and bags.


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Mass. Eye and Ear Researchers Awarded Curing Kids Fund Grants for Research into Childhood Vision and Hearing Loss
Mass. Eye and Ear clinicians and scientists are driven by a mission to find cures for blindness, deafness and diseases of the head and neck. Now united with Schepens Eye Research Institute, Mass. Eye and Ear is the world's largest vision and hearing research center, developing new treatments and cures through discovery and innovation. Mass. Eye and Ear is a Harvard Medical School teaching hospital and trains future medical leaders in ophthalmology and otolaryngology, through residency as well as clinical and research fellowships. Internationally acclaimed since its founding in 1824, Mass. Eye and Ear employs full-time, board-certified physicians who offer high-quality and affordable specialty care that ranges from the routine to the very complex. U.S. News & World Report's "Best Hospitals Survey" has consistently ranked the Mass. Eye and Ear Departments of Otolaryngology and Ophthalmology as top five in the nation. For more information about life-changing care and research, or to learn how you can help, please visit MassEyeAndEar.org.


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Main Content
Don't store away your Thunder pride in hopes of fairer weather. Show everyone you're there for your team through thick and thin with the Comfy Alvin tee by Sportiqe. It features distressed "Oklahoma City Thunder Basketball" lettering printed across the front and a comfortable tri-blend fabric design. It will prove to everyone that your OKC spirit and classic style will always be plentiful.
- 50% Polyester/25% Cotton/25% Rayon
- Distressed screen print graphics
- Imported
- Officially licensed Thunder shirt
- Tagless collar
Thunder Customers also liked:
Special event items are produced by manufacturers only after the outcome of a game
or event. These are advanced sale items and will ship immediately after they are
received in our warehouse.
Manufacturer direct items are shipped directly from the manufacturer. These items
are not available for international or expedited shipping.
Customized items can be personalized with options such as your name, your favorite
number, and/or designs. Some options may be limited by league rules.


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Nintendo Wii Friendcode List
This is the master list of all the Neoseeker members who have a friendcode list in their profile. The list is sorted in alphabetical order. For the forum post on friendcodes and listings you can find it here.
You can get your friendcode listed by editing your ID in your Profile.
1 2 3 4 5 6 next»


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David Blatner and Anne-Marie Concepción, co-hosts of the web's top resource for InDesign tips and tricks, InDesign Secrets.com, share some hidden and sometimes surprising workflow tips that will make working in InDesign more efficient and more fun.
Learn to create interactive fixed-layout EPUBs in InDesign CC, and preserve your design's integrity across multiple browsers and ereaders.
Shows how to create fixed-width EPUBs to sell in the iBookstore.
Take any InDesign file and turn it into an EPUB that can be read on multiple devices, like the Kindle, Kobo, iPad, and Nook.
Learn how to make InDesign and Word play nicely together and create beautifully formatted documents from existing text.
Shows publishers, designers, and production assistants how to use Adobe InDesign CS6 to create print books for the exploding ebook market.
Introduces InDesign CS6 and its workflow, document distribution, and flexibility improvements.
Promote a brand, increase sales, engage customers, and drive site traffic using Facebook and Twitter.
Learn the secret techniques of Acrobat and Reader power users and make working with PDFs fast, efficient, and fun.
Shows publishers, designers, and production staff how to use the software they already use to create print books—InDesign—for the emerging ebook market.
Shows publishers and designers how to use the software they already use to create print books and apply it to the emerging ebook market.
Shows publishers and designers how to use the software they already use to create print books and apply it to the emerging ebook market.
Demonstrates how to create, modify, review, and share PDFs in Adobe Acrobat X.
Shows how editors and designers use Adobe InCopy and InDesign to collaborate on publications, and save time and money.
Provides an in-depth exploration of the new features in Adobe InDesign CS5.
Discover the top ten diagnoses for problem InDesign files, including how to rebuild preferences and deal with corruption errors with INX files.
Highlights the top 10 skills that the best InDesign users practice everyday to create successful designs.
Covers the most important features and tools of Adobe Bridge, as well as special skills designers can use to get the most out of it.
How Acrobat can help edit, manage, and improve PDFs.
Demonstrates how InCopy integrates with InDesign to make publishing faster, more efficient, and more collaborative.
Provides a comprehensive explanation of new features, including time-saving tips and workarounds for typical publication workflows.
"Keep up the good work—it's helping so many of us stay up to speed on all the many topics involved in building creative websites." —Sandra M.
more from our members »


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Our Stories
"From the bottom up":local development brings regional impact to East Sudan
In the remote village of Diemoyo of Red Sea State in Eastern Sudan, a region suffering from some of the lowest development indicators in the country, the once high rate of child and maternal mortality has recently been reduced. The challenges for reducing maternity and child mortality are mamore
Three goats bring self-sufficiency to local communities
Southern Jordan observes the aspects of poor infrastructure, land and water sacristy with high poverty rate of 24.2%. As you travel to the Southern Jordan, you start to witness the features of poverty and deprivation all over the surroundings. Between the banana field and the deserted lands lies Tmore
A better livelihood for Safiyo
The smile on Safiyo Hassan Jama's* face reveals her satisfaction at moving up from a casual labourer to a livestock farmer. She is a beneficiary of UNDP's Area-based Early Recovery for Affected Communities (ABER) project. "I never would have believed it ─ a healthy milk cow and a calf are great assmore
A dream comes true
Asha Ali* is a widow and a mother of 6 children aged between 3 and 14. After her husband was killed by a stray bullet two years ago during fighting in Mogadishu, Asha has struggled to raise her children. Asha did odd jobs in the neighbourhood, but they provided barely enough for a meal a day.more
A glimpse of hope for better times ahead
Raqqa, once a prosperous province that hosted one of the capitals of Harun Al-Rashid, the famous Abbasid Caliph, has seen a dramatic downturn in recent years. Even before the crisis in March 2011, the Raqqa population grappled with some of the worst development indicators in the country. The governomore
A smile from an internally displaced people's camp
Ibrahim Farah Isaq* – a father of four – has lived in Bossaso since 1995. He was born in Qoryoley, Lower Shabelle in southern Somalia, where he completed intermediate school. His father owned farming land, houses and a small business before the outbreak of the civil war in 1991. Ibrahim's fammore
A sustainable income at last
Sheikh Enow*, 48, has lived a life of misery and destitution. His misfortune can be traced to the collapse of the Somali government, when all his belongings were looted. Making matters worse, he had just lost his job. "Since 1992, my life has been full of despair. I had no income. My frmore
A tour boat sets sail in Gaza, launching a better life
When he graduated recently with a degree in architecture, Raed El-Shorafa, 27, faced the risk of joining increasing numbers of the unemployed in Gaza. Despite his good academic performance, job opportunities were rare. "I had no income," Raed said. "I was a burden on my family." With an uncermore
Adapting technology to local needs in Egypt
By Marwa Elnokrashy and Karim Ezzeldin Siwa, Egypt—Fatma Ibrahim, a poor mother of six, has been illiterate all her life. As a child her hardworking parents made simple handicrafts and sold them to make ends meet. Like many girls growing up in Siwa, the largest oasis in Egypt's western desert, Ibrahmore
Alternative livelihoods - Giving young Somalis a fresh start
Rushing about her teashop in downtown Eyl, a coastal village in Somalia, Bisharo Abdi looks the part of a busy young shopowner. However, behind this chatty young entrepenuer is a complex story. Life for Bisharo has been difficult. She was born into to a poor family in Eyl and orphaned when she was jmore
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Latest News
- 12 Aug 2013:Providing vital job-skills training for youth in Somalia
- 27 Jun 2013:Arab Region: Making sure that everyone counts
- 01 May 2013:Employment creation in Egypt's poorest governorates
Arab Development Challenges Report 2011
This second Development Challenges Report, coming at a time when the region is passing through a critical historical juncture, attempts to go beyond the numbers to uncover processes that have underpinned mutually reinforcing drivers of social, economic and political exclusion.


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Additional Information
The Braided Xertube® offers all the same benefits as other standard tubes, and then some. The braided rope-like construction makes this the toughest tube in the market. The handle not only provides comfort, but also allows all four tubes to come through the connector independently, making the Braided Xertube® durable enough for any type of exercise. Anchor this tube to any secure object, step on it, or use with a partner for variety in your resistance training. Color-coded resistances range from very light to ultra heavy. Sold individually. Includes two free downloadable exercise guides.
Braided Xertube® Features:
- Created for dynamic, high-resistance exercises
- Braided construction offers unmatched durability
- Anchor to any secure object
- Available in 5 resistance levels
- Includes two downloadable exercise guides
7.875" x 2.5" x 8"
Five color-coded resistances:
Resistance | Level | Color |
Very Light | 1 | Yellow |
Light | 2 | Green |
Medium | 3 | Red |
Heavy | 4 | Blue |
Very Heavy | 5 | Purple |
Sold individually


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Maria Bamford: A Seriously Funny Comedian
It's almost uncomfortable to laugh at Maria Bamford's comedy, because so much of it is about really serious problems she has: OCD, bipolar disorder, suicidal thoughts. She's been hospitalized several times. But you have to laugh, because she's that funny.
In addition to the difficulties from which she suffers, Bamford — who has a new comedy CD out called Ask Me About My New God! — incorporates her family into much of her material. She's close to both her parents, in part, she says, because they've been through so much together.
Bamford, who has recently appeared on Louie and the new season of Arrested Development, is familiar to a wide audience from a series of holiday season ads for Target, but she's also known for a cult following of her Web shows. These, too, often revolve around her folks.
In The Maria Bamford Show, the premise is that Bamford has had a breakdown that has landed her in her parents' attic in Minnesota. It's fictional, she says, but based on her worst fears.
For her Web program The Special Special Special, Bamford takes the premise of big cable comedy specials and relocates it to her living room with her parents as the only audience members.
The idea, she says, came partly out of laziness; she hadn't been feeling well and was trying to find the easiest way to produce a special. But, she says, the lazy way was also her preferred way.
"The bigger the crowds get, the more nervous I get," she tells Fresh Air's Terry Gross. "I actually am very comfortable with a half-filled room of people who are slightly disinterested and are irritated at a Barnes & Noble."
It's a bonus, she says, that her parents are also inexpensive talent — although that diminishes their significance.
"It is true," she says, "that the people who it makes me feel the best when they laugh are my family and friends."
Interview Highlights
On her extreme anxiety
"When I was about 9 years old I stopped being able to sleep at night, because I had fear that I was going to kill my parents, act out violently, and/or in some sort of way — it's even hard for me to say now — act out sexually [towards] something, somebody. And so I wanted to be isolated so that I would not be around people at all. [I would] stay up all night, making sure I wouldn't fall asleep and somehow lose control, fearing I was going to do those things.
"That is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder. What it is, it's the equivalent of washing your hands, thinking you're going to be dirty or that you're somehow dirty, but it's with thoughts. So as soon as you try to not think of the thought, the thought pops up again. Most of us have weird thoughts floating through our heads once in a while. I heard a comedian once say, 'You ever think, "Hey, my dog looks kind of sexy today." ' Things where it's kind of like, 'That's wrong,' but usually nobody thinks twice about that. You just go, 'Oh, that's weird.' If you are an anxious person and somehow on high alert, you think, 'I just thought my dog looked sexy, that must mean I'm somehow a dangerous person' — sort of this spiraling effect."
On her parents' role in her comedy
"Sometimes my mom just writes the joke herself. She couldn't find me in the house once — and an object at rest stays at rest, and I'm in a corner, curled with my bristles to the outside — and she called my sister in a panic. 'Maria has disappeared and I'm worried she's killed herself, and I have a hair appointment in town.' And that is so hilarious."
On envying her mother's worry-free attitude
"I just think it must be so dreamy. My mom is very structured. She gets up, she does her prayers, and she eats her oatmeal with blueberries and Greek yogurt, and she has her prayer list, and she doesn't worry too much about things. 'So-and-so came down with Alzheimer's, so they're having a hard time, and we're just, you know, gonna take her for frozen yogurt at Scoops and teach her how to upload all of her Weight Watchers points into the Cloud.' I'm taken out by a gas-station muffin. I have the wrong muffin, and I'm out for a week! You know, [I] fall asleep, fall into despair and tears, and you know, [my mom] just pops up. She bobs. She's buoyed."
On the results of using Dale Carnegie's approach to social interaction in high school
"I got my first boyfriend. I was nominated [and] I won the Winter Frolic Queen crown. And I think genuinely, because I started doing all these weird techniques, and because everyone was in high school, I think nobody picked up on the BS factor of it. And I think it was sincere. I was so desperately sincere.
"I tried to use the same tactics when I went to school out East, and I did not go over at all. I remember my roommates — I was going to Bates College in Lewiston, Maine — and they were from New York. They're like, 'Why do you keep saying our name?' They were totally on to me, immediately, and they were completely weirded out by the whole thing."
On anxiety before her stand-up routine
"I go down some sort of rabbit hole of doubt and genuine terror. ... You know, I thought that when you have more success that you'd feel more buoyed or feel more confident. But in fact my brain has the gift of switching it around and saying, 'Now people are expecting something. Now you're really going to let people down.'
"I'm trying to ... write more reasonable thoughts: 'I can stand on stage for an hour, and do work that I've prepared, and it's OK if there's a variety of responses.' They teach you [that] in outpatient treatment — how to have more reasonable thoughts rather than catastrophic or hyperbolic thoughts. Which — that's what Los Angeles runs on: 'I am an angel!' "
This is FRESH AIR. I'm Terry Gross. It almost makes me uncomfortable to laugh at Maria Bamford's comedy because so much of it is about really serious problems she has: OCD, bipolar disorder, suicidal thoughts. She's been hospitalized several times. But I have to laugh because she's that funny. She's done some really odd Web shows. The oddest is probably her program "The Special Special Special," which was her doing her act in her living room with her parents on the couch as her only audience.
In addition to her standup comedy, she's done a lot of animated voiceover work, and you may have seen her on the new Netflix season of "Arrested Development," playing a recording meth addict named DeBrie who becomes involved with Tobias. She was on two episodes of "Louie" last season. Now she has a new CD called "Ask Me About My New God" that also comes with a DVD of her two Comedy Central specials.
Maria Bamford, welcome to FRESH AIR. It is such a pleasure to have you on the show. I want to play something that's from early work that that you did.
GROSS: And this is from a 2007 show that's actually on DVD along with your CD. And this is your anxiety song. It's called "My Anxiety Song." So let's hear it, and then we'll talk about it.
BAMFORD: This is my anxiety song.
(Singing) If I keep the kitchen floor clean, no one will die. As long as I clench my fists at odd intervals, then the darkness that's within me won't force me to do anything inappropriately violent or sexual at dinner parties. Woof. As long as I keep humming a tune, I won't turn gay.
(Singing) They can't get you if you're singing a song, yeah.
GROSS: That's Maria Bamford. I really love that. How many of those anxieties are actually yours, how many of those compulsive behaviors?
BAMFORD: Oh, yes. Oh, yes of course. Yes, no, those are mine. I - when I was about nine years old, I stopped being able to sleep at night because I had fear that I was going to kill my parents, you know, act out violently in some sort of taboo way. And it's even hard for me to say now, act out sexually, towards something, somebody and so wanted to isolate so that I would not be around people at all and would stay up all night making sure that I just wouldn't fall asleep and somehow lose control, and fearing I was going to do those things.
And just to explain, that is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder. What it is, it's the equivalent of, you know, washing your hands, thinking that you're going to be dirty or that you're somehow dirty, but it's with thoughts. So as soon as you try to not think of the thought, the thought pops up again so - because most of us have weird thoughts floating through our heads every once in a while.
I know there's - I heard a comedian once say, you know, my dog looks kind of sexy today.
GROSS: (Laughing)
BAMFORD: You know, like things where it's - that's wrong. But usually nobody thinks twice about that. You just kind of like, go oh, that's weird, and then you pass it. But if you are an anxious person and somehow on high alert, you think oh, I just thought my dog looks sexy. Well, that must mean I, you know, I am somehow a dangerous person who - you know, sort of this spiraling effect.
And I'm of course not any sort of expert or physician, but I did get help for it. I went to an OCD specialist. And within two weeks - I was 35 when I went - it was gone. Something that had plagued me for my entire life was gone.
GROSS: How did that happen?
BAMFORD: He - they did this technique called flooding, where you - the particular one was I recorded, you know, my worst fear of what's going to happen, you know, I am chopping my friends and family up into chunks and bits. And I do a joke about it. I don't know. It sounds terrifying now, with the way I say it, but I do a joke about it, saying, like, the therapist says - the OCD therapist says, have you ever not wanted to go to a religious institution because you worried you'd lose control, run up on the altar, take a crap and yell I am a promise keeper?
GROSS: (Laughing)
BAMFORD: Um no, no. Have you ever not wanted to go to Sea World because you're worried if you're left alone with a baby starfish you'd try to kiss its poop hole? Oh God, that sounds familiar, but I'm not placing it. Have you ever not wanted to spend time with friends or family because you worry you'd chop them up into chunks and bits, and have sex with the chunks and bits, and put the chunks and bits on a Cobb salad and feed it to your parents? All the time, God. Aren't you even listening?
GROSS: (Laughing)
BAMFORD: Anyways. I mean, it's like those are the thoughts. You know, people have some weird thoughts. And - but flooding, what they do is they have you read out loud in the present tense of your worst fear happening. You just listen to it over and over and over again. And, you know, it really limited my life. I did not spend a lot of time with people because I was - felt afraid. And stand-up was very good for that because I - you can spend time with people, but they're safe, and you're amplified and lit. And it's a very structured environment, so...
But now, now I am freed by the miracles of psychology and science and all that stuff, I mean if there is a science. We don't know if there is a science, but if there is.
GROSS: (Laughing) So you know, maybe it's a sign of my own self-absorption, but my unwanted obsessive thoughts tend to be about things that are going to happen to me as opposed to dangerous things I'm going to do to other people.
BAMFORD: Oh interesting, yeah, yeah. I mean, everybody has their own special, special snowflake, thumbprint anxiety. What is yours? Do you feel comfortable sharing? You don't have to share.
GROSS: Probably not, but...
GROSS: But I always worry about things that are going to - by getting hurt, about, you know, suffering and pain and things like that. I worry about hurting people's feelings. I don't worry about physically doing harm to them because I just don't feel like I'd even have that in me. That's not an - it's like, not an - of all the bad impulses I have, that particular thing isn't one of them.
BAMFORD: Well, that is the weirdest thing. Like they said, or one of the things the physician I went to said, that people who have any type of OCD are the people who are least likely to have any violent tendencies or any predatorial tendencies or any, you know, like the person who's washing their hands 18 times a day or 1,800 times a day is the person least likely to not be clean.
BAMFORD: You know, like they're going to be some clean people despite the fact that that's all they worry about is that they're somehow filthy. So yeah, it doesn't make any - it doesn't make sense.
GROSS: If you're just joining us, my guest is comic and actress Maria Bamford. She has a new comedy CD, which is called "Ask Me About My New God."
You did a comedy special that was just Web only, that you called "The Special Special Special." And I've never seen anything like it. Your family, your parents make an appearance in this. So the setup is it's shot in your living room. The only people in the audience are your parents, who are seated on a couch. Your name is up in lights on the wall, lights like in that kind of 40-watt bulbs that you use in a lamp or something.
GROSS: And there's a pianist there, Wayne Federman, he's at the piano, like playing intros, and you even have a warm-up comic, played by Jackie Kashian. And so I want to play the opening to "The Special Special Special." And it opens as a lot of, like, HBO comedy specials do, with, you know, the comic talking backstage behind the scenes about what the special is and why they're doing it. So first we're going to hear that, you know, fake interview, and then we'll hear the setup to the show. Here we go.
BAMFORD: The reason I decided to do the special here was because it is free to perform in your own home.
JACKIE KASHIAN: We are at the Maria Bamford special. Are you guys psyched? Are we all psyched?
BAMFORD: Sure, I've done television shows. I've been in a few seconds of certain movies. But the people I'm really creating things for are Joel and Marilyn Bamford, my parents. I do know their names: Joel and Marilyn Bamford.
WAYNE FEDERMAN: It's Maria Bamford, performing live in her own living room in Eagle Rock, California. It's "The Special Special Special." Tonight's only audience members: Maria's parents.
BAMFORD: It's going to be a special special special.
KASHIAN: All right, and we're ready. Let's hear you laugh. Let's hear you laugh. Ha ha! Hee hee!
And the clapping, that's right, we're ready to begin. Wayne, let's get some music going, get Maria out here. You know her from birth, you've known her for a long time, since the very beginning. Let's have a big round of applause, a big Eagle Rock welcome, for Maria Bamford.
BAMFORD: Yeah, Jackie Kashian, Wayne Federman. Yeah, Eagle Rock? Thanks so much for coming, Mom and Dad.
GROSS: That is really so amazing. What gave you the idea of doing a comedy special in your living room for your parents and recording it?
BAMFORD: Well, I feel embarrassed to say this, but it was an act of slight laziness, where I was like - you know, I hadn't been feeling - I hadn't been feeling well the year prior, and I didn't want to do a big crowd. Like crowds kind of - it's funny, because the bigger the crowds get the more nervous I get. I actually am very comfortable with a half-filled room of people who are slightly disinterested and/or irritated at a Barnes & Noble.
BAMFORD: And... I just wanted to read magazines, and now there's a comedy show? So yeah, I am more comfortable with that, and my parents are so supportive. They are also extremely inexpensive as talent.
GROSS: (Laughing)
BAMFORD: And it is true that the people who it makes me feel the best when they laugh are my family and friends, and when they laugh, I feel great, whereas you have a room of 300 people, and - because that's what I pull, that's what I draw right now...
(Laughing) That's a great feeling, too, but it's - I think, for me anyway, you know, a much richer experience to - if I get my dad to laugh, that is delightful.
GROSS: So was the laughter fake, or was it real?
BAMFORD: No, I think it was - I mean, I think it was real. I think sometimes - I'm sure sometimes they're just kind of staring and being supportive. I can't imagine that there isn't some aspect of where they're just losing themselves in the idea that their daughter is doing something, and they're just proud that she's functioning relatively well.
BAMFORD: And I think yeah, I don't - I don't know. You'd have to ask them what part of it is - but I know my mom has gotten irritated about certain - because sometimes my mom just writes the joke herself. She couldn't find me in the house once, and an object at rest stays at rest. I'm in a corner curled with my bristles to the outside.
And she called my sister in a panic and said Maria has disappeared, and I'm worried she's killed herself, and I have a hair appointment in town. Which - I mean, that is so hilarious. And, you know, you wouldn't dredge the shallows. I mean, she got very upset that I was going to say that. But then once she heard it a couple times live, and people laughed, she was fine with it.
Or she just says oh, I never said that.
GROSS: Did she really say that? Did she really say to your sister, I'm afraid your sister's killed herself, and I have a hair appointment?
BAMFORD: Yes, yes.
GROSS: And what did your sister say?
BAMFORD: My sister told me.
BAMFORD: I think she left it on the voicemail. So she didn't have a chance to respond, except to say why don't you check the bed, mom, check the bed.
BAMFORD: She's probably in there.
GROSS: You did a whole Web series about you being in bed depressed.
BAMFORD: Yes.
GROSS: And it's called "The Maria Bamford Show."
BAMFORD: (Laughing) Yes.
GROSS: And the premise was that you'd had a nervous breakdown and went home to Duluth, Minnesota, to live in your parents' attic. And so you were recording yourself doing different characters with your little camcorder, mostly in bed.
BAMFORD: Yes.
GROSS: And I, when I first saw it, I thought, like, OK, is this for real? Like is she really living in her parents' attic? Did she really just have a nervous breakdown? Is she really recording this herself? And of course there's a list of credits at the end, so I knew that wasn't true. (Laughing)
BAMFORD: No.
GROSS: But again, like how did you get the idea to do that, and were you living in your parents' home?
BAMFORD: No, no, I think at that point it was sort of a worst fear-slash-greatest...
GROSS: Right, that you'd be so broken, you'd be like back home and taken care of by your parents?
BAMFORD: Yeah, because I think I've always been a little on the edge psychologically, you know, feeling like that my brain felt a little bit out of my control. And so I - and I'd always had a fantasy of being on a sitcom, and so I - and I couldn't seem to get on one. (Chuckling)
And so I thought, well, I'll write a one-person show that would just be me in the sitcom, and then that became the Web series. Yeah, it was really, it was really great to kind of act out that scenario because one thing I do miss out, living far away from my family; they're in Minnesota, and so kind of doing impersonations of them allows me to feel close to them and think about what they would say and also control what they would say in a very controlled environment.
GROSS: Another Web series you did I want to ask you about is called "Ask My Mom."
BAMFORD: Yes.
GROSS: And we're going to actually play an entire episode, which is like 90 seconds. These are, like, very, very short, and they're so much fun to watch. So do you want to talk about what the premise of "Ask My Mom" is?
BAMFORD: Yeah, it's just I'd always wanted to do something with my mom because my mom has lots of great ideas and advice, but now she's retired, and she's going on motorcycle tours of Norway, and so she can't - she doesn't have time. And so I thought why not me dress up in an outfit and be her and answer people's questions from a Christian-based, liberal point of view and, yeah, see what she has to say for people because she does have some wonderful - I do love my mom's attitude. So this is what happens.
GROSS: OK, so this is an episode of Maria Bamford's "Ask My Mom."
BAMFORD: The older I get, the less I know, the more I ask my mom.
Don't ask me, ask my mom.
(As her mother) Why don't you Google it? Your sister just posted a quote on Facebook: That which has been your deepest sorrow has been your greatest delight. (Laughs) Give me a break, exclamation point. Gotta thumbs-up the grandchildren. Your father keeps poking me. Sweetie, can I have your Facebook password?
(As herself) No.
(As her mother) I just want to get in there, see what's going on.
(As herself) Mom, here's a question. I was raised without religion, and I can't get myself to believe. But I'm jealous of the contentment, purpose and peace of mind that religious and spiritual types seem to have. How can I get the same results but without all the hocus-pocus?
(As her mother) Well, you just go to a temple or a mosque or a church or a sit-in, and you just pretend. You just look around and say oh, OK, you know, and then the fact that you don't believe, it makes you even more of a believer, really. All of the prophets doubted. Sweetie, what is your Facebook password? Is it "I love hugs"?
(As herself) What? No!
GROSS: That's Maria Bamford, one episode from her Web series "Ask My Mom." And she also has a new comedy CD, which is called "Ask Me About My New God." So do you really envy your mother's capacity for faith and wish that you had it?
BAMFORD: Ah, I just think it must be so dreamy, you know, to just - my mom is very structured. She gets up, she does her prayers and eats her oatmeal with blueberries and Greek yogurt, and she, you know, has her prayer list, and then she - and she doesn't worry too much about things, you know, like: (As her mother) So-and-so came down with Alzheimer's, and so they're having a hard time, and we're just - you know, I'm just going to take her for frozen yogurt at Scoops and teach her how to upload all her Weight Watchers points into the cloud.
Like I'm taken out by a gas station muffin. I have the wrong muffin, and I'm out for a week, you know. And, you know, I fall asleep and fall into despair and tears, and, you know, she just, she just pops up. She bobs. She's buoyed, constantly buoyed.
GROSS: I love how you do her voice.
BAMFORD: I mean, I think I do do a good job. I mean, I think I'm genuinely becoming my mother. I mean, at some point there's going to be no impersonation, it's just going to be full-bleed, I am her. That's what my boyfriend says. He says you just are your mom right now.
BAMFORD: But, you know, she's so - who put weeds in my salad? Oh, it's arugula, oh, I love arugula. Oh.
GROSS: Maria Bamford will be back in the second half of the show. Her new comedy album is called "Ask Me About My New God." I'm Terry Gross, and this is FRESH AIR.
GROSS: When did you start doing voices and what were the first voices that you did?
BAMFORD: I think I mimicked some commercials and I don't actually do very many voices, only do about six or seven, some are just versions of higher or lower...
BAMFORD: ...versions of others. So but I think also in stand-up it helped because my own voice - some have said - is high, irritating, childlike, and so if you can change your voice it did grab people's attention.
GROSS: You've done voiceover work for cartoons, right? Have you done a lot of different characters?
BAMFORD: Yes. Yes. I'm on "Adventure Time," which is a great series on the Cartoon Network. It's a beautiful show - just so weird and creative. And then I've done "Word Girl" on PBS, which is coming back. They're going to have "Word Girl," which is a girl superhero who fights off villains with the power of vocabulary. And...
GROSS: Are you "Word Girl?"
BAMFORD: I am not "Word Girl." That is played by someone else, but I play her mother.
GROSS: Do you use your mother's voice?
BAMFORD: No. No. (Voice change) I use a basic, just a proud mother voice, who is just proud and excited and wants everyone to be happy.
GROSS: I love that voice that you do because it's, in some ways you would describe it as a very nondescript voice, but it's not. Do you know what I mean? It's...
BAMFORD: Yes.
GROSS: It's like the essence of a certain mainstream Middle American voice.
BAMFORD: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think I've felt like a bit of a weirdo sometimes so that sometimes that voice helps, you know, as sort of a counterpoint to what - like I worked as a secretary for a long time, so I would have, sometimes would have female bosses who were, a female boss who acts like they're your friend. But (Voice change) Hey, I'm having a party at my house this weekend; I really want you to come and meet some really cute, really available men at the door. Park their cars, take their coats and speak only when spoken to...
BAMFORD: ...'cause I see us as partners, as equals, even though I earn what is it, 850 percent more than you do and you spend 12 hours a day here stuck in this office while I drive aimlessly around the city looking for caves and tunnels from where I can call you with my cell phone.
GROSS: I'm trying to imagine you as somebody's secretary.
BAMFORD: Oh, yes. No, I was very quiet. I was not a...
GROSS: Were you performing at the time?
BAMFORD: Oh, yes. Yes. I'm very passive-aggressive, which is, so I was very quiet at work and then talk about work outside of work.
BAMFORD: Yeah. Yep.
GROSS: One of the things that you did when you were young is you went to Dale Carnegie classes - self-improvement classes.
BAMFORD: Yes.
GROSS: What was his famous book? "How to Win Friends and Influence People."
BAMFORD: Influence people. I was extremely depressed, and my dad, I was having trouble with falling asleep because I was staying up all night...
GROSS: Trying to prevent yourself from doing bad things?
BAMFORD: Bad things, and had developed sort of an eating disorder in order to kind of I think deal with my brain chemistry. I would, you know, binge on huge amounts of food and then try to starve and I think that is, you know, you develop all these sort of addictions to try to manage - or that's, I feel like is part of what happened. And so, I was sleeping all day at schools. My dad took me to the Dale Carnegie 18-week course at the Duluth Public Library that's shaped like an ore boat in the basement and we went with many different salespeople and business people of the city. And we learned the four C's: Don't criticize, condemn or complain. Compliment. The sweetest sound to a person's ear is the sound of their own name, Terry. And that you act enthusiastic and you will be enthusiastic. And it was really a cognitive behavioral program, like it helped me enormously... (Laughing) ...at the time.
GROSS: Did you do the things they suggested, like repeat somebody's name a lot when you were talking to them?
BAMFORD: I did, I did it all the time. I did it my entire senior year. I, and in that way I think that's how I got my first boyfriend. I was nominated to - I won the Winter Frolic Queen crown. I think genuinely, because I started doing all these weird techniques and because everyone was in high school I think nobody picked up on the BS factor of it. And I think it was sincere, you know, I was so desperately sincere. I tried to use the same tactics when I went to school out East and it did not go over at all. I remember my roommates - I was going to Bates College in Lewiston, Maine, and they were from New York. And they were, like, why do you keep saying our name? Like why?
BAMFORD: (Laughing) They were just totally on to me immediately and they were completely weirded out by the whole thing.
GROSS: So then what, if you couldn't use the Dale Carnegie techniques anymore? What did you do to try to more comfortably relate to people?
BAMFORD: Well, I fell into a deep depression. I think I...
GROSS: That always helps.
BAMFORD: Yeah. That helps. And then I did, I did - started doing stand-up around at that time and got involved in improv and theater and that helped. I...
GROSS: Well, tell me more about how you started doing stand-up.
BAMFORD: They had a talent show and I had always done - run for office in grade school, high school because it involved doing a speech. And I just loved, every time I got to do a speech I really enjoyed that. I just enjoyed it and I enjoyed people, yeah, I enjoyed that feeling. I had been trained to play classical violin from the age of three through the Suzuki Method. And my mom said when I was three years old and I got up on stage and I just started smiling, like I just really enjoyed it. And I think there is something about, I love structured social environments, you know, where there's rituals and, you know, I love a support group where, you know, everyone's timed in how long they can talk, like I just, give me three minutes and one minute for wrap-up and I feel comfortable. I just, I love that. So I got involved in that and so then when the opportunity came up to do a talent show I was like, oh, I'll just do a funny speech and then they said, oh, that's stand-up and I was like hmm, OK. Well, then I guess that's what I'm going to show up for and began doing that.
GROSS: Who are some of the comics that influenced you early on?
BAMFORD: My dad and I and my sister, we'd always watch "Saturday Night Live." So we saw Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy. So that's what we listened to in the car and on the record player and just listened to it over and over again. I didn't really even understand the jokes but... I didn't even think of it as a possibility. Even as I was doing it, I didn't think I was - what I was doing, you know, because there just was no one in entertainment in my family and, you know, there were just weren't as many women doing it and it wasn't an option. It was either you be an actress and I just didn't really know what it was.
GROSS: My guest is Maria Bamford. Her new comedy album is called "Ask Me About My New God!" We'll talk more after a break.
This is FRESH AIR.
GROSS: You feel very comfortable on stage, but do you have anxiety before a performance?
BAMFORD: Oh, my god. Yeah. I'm trying to work on that now. I don't know why that I still seem to go down some sort of rabbit hole of doubt and genuine terror. That is somehow, you know, when I thought that, you know, once you had more success that you'd feel more buoyed or you'd feel more confident. But, in fact, my brain has the gift of switching it around to saying, oh, now, now people are expecting something, now you're really going to let people down. And so I'm trying to, you know, do all the - write more reasonable thoughts, like, I can stand on stage for an hour and do work that I've prepared and it's OK if there's a variety of responses.
(Laughing) Like they teach you in some of the outpatient treatment for, you know, how to create more reasonable thoughts rather than catastrophic and/or hyper - is it hyperbolic thoughts?
GROSS: Hyperbolic. Yeah. Uh-huh.
BAMFORD: Hyperbolic thoughts, which that's what Los Angeles runs on; I am an angel.
GROSS: How have you learned to deal with hecklers? Since you're prone to depression and prone to violent thoughts, when somebody is like...
GROSS: ...you know, saying nasty things about you when you are performing or they're booing or, you know, being rude in some way, what's it like for you?
BAMFORD: Well, it doesn't, it generally doesn't happen as much. I think with the Internet you really can draw specifically your crowd, which is a good and a bad thing.
GROSS: Sure. Well, people are coming to hear you now, but I guess earlier when it was like an open mic night or something.
BAMFORD: Earlier. Yes. And any night in Los Angeles where - anywhere, anywhere where people don't know what they've come to see, I can get booed. And I love the United States and that we're a free democracy and everyone is able to speak their minds, and so I think that is the excitement of live performance that people can say, I'm unhappy. You know, like I'm uncomfortable and this isn't what I wanted. So I'm trying, I'm still not very good at - my knees will shake. You know, I will have a sense of righteous rage come up inside of me if somebody says something, you know, like get offstage, you suck, or I try to say something that isn't mean, just because - I've heckled people. And heckling is just I think sometimes wanting to participate and wanting to just, you're frustrated and you just feel like, uh, this is weird and uncomfortable and somebody's got to say something.
GROSS: I want to play another track from the new CD. And this is called "Joy Whack-A-Mole," and it's something your family used to do you've defined as this game.
BAMFORD: Yes.
GROSS: So why don't we hear this bit from your act and then we'll talk about it.
BAMFORD: This is a little game you can play with your friends and family. I hope you do if you don't already play it, just leave you with it. It's just a, my family would call Joy Whack-A-Mole.
What happens is that...
BAMFORD: Somebody brings up something that they're really happy about and then the other person tries to slam it down.
BAMFORD: I was playing with my dad and it was like dad, check out this new top. Woo, it's very nice. Yeah. Guess how much? Oh, I don't know, 50 bucks. No, five. Geez, that's a good deal. Yeah, you got that right, it's like five bucks. How do they do it? Oh, I was reading about that, slavery.
BAMFORD: Yeah. And you put the manufacturing out to these countries there's no labor laws, human rights violations, no environmental protection and then they pass that savings on to you.
BAMFORD: It's a pretty sweet coat, though, dad. It kind of skims the profile.
BAMFORD: My mom is truly the king of this game, though. She's very good. Mom, Amy had her baby. Oh, that is great news, honey. I mean it's not the greatest news for the 600,000 kids in foster care in this country, but...
BAMFORD: ...she wants a fresh one, huh? Geez.
BAMFORD: Everybody wants one that looks like them. It's so selfish.
BAMFORD: Mom, I'm doing a show tonight. Oh, sweetie, I have a joke for you. A friend of mine is just a hoot. She said you could use it. And coincidently, she was in foster care. She had been airlifted out of the Sudan in the late '90s because she had been be-armed and be-legged by the janjaweed, the horseback militia. Anyhoo, she'd love to do stand-up. She's hilarious but she can't uh, uh. And...
BAMFORD: It's really a hospice situation, just a matter of time. But the priest comes in and he asks her, would you like us to light a candle for you in the chapel? Well, she says, sassy as you please, tele-typing through her eyelids, well, how many candles you got? Because so many horrible things have happened to her. And keep happening. Sweetie, have a good show tonight. What you do is so important.
GROSS: That's Maria Bamford from her new CD "Ask Me About My God." Do you play Joy Whack-a-Mole with yourself every time something good happens?
BAMFORD: Sure. Oh, sure.
GROSS: Undermine it. Yeah.
BAMFORD: Oh, Maria, you're on FRESH AIR with Terry Gross. Um, you're no longer underdog status so people are going to hate you.
GROSS: (Laughing)
BAMFORD: Because you're on Terry Gross with FRESH AIR. It's a negative to every positive. Now I'm a winner, Terry. You've made it official. I'm a winner.
GROSS: I've conferred that status.
BAMFORD: Yes. Oh, yes.
GROSS: As only I can.
BAMFORD: Yes, yes.
GROSS: So do you talk about all of this with your family? Like, before you do something like Joy Whack-a-Mole, do you call your parents? Or before you do anything in which you're going to be doing the voices of your family do you call them and test it out and make sure, like, are you OK with this?
BAMFORD: No. I don't. I mean, I will tell them jokes just because I like to hear them laugh. But now that my parents have so many different phones, it's hard for them to hear things. So it's a very frustrating joke-performing context for them. And then the last time I did a joke for my dad, my dad said: Oh, geesh. No wonder you're still single. And they don't get to hear the jokes unless they have positive feedback and laughs. That's the agreement.
And so sometimes, yeah, I don't tell them the jokes. And they're so busy now. Since they've retired they're learning how to make shoes. They're going to Esalen, that place where you nude-hot-tub and talk to an empty chair that represents your dead mother. I don't know, they're busy.
GROSS: Wow.
GROSS: Is it hard to imagine your parents naked in a hot tub?
BAMFORD: Well, I didn't go visit them up there. It's up in Big Sur and, you know, they have their lives and they like to celebrate the body and, you know, I'm a - you know, my mom - I mean, the great thing about my mom is she did affirm that, you know, sexuality is important and, you know, your father lost confidence after the prostate surgery but then he went out and he bought himself a used Dodge Caravan and we are back in business.
Anyways, you can always be sensual up until your 90s, you know. From what my mom has sent me and according to clippings in the AARP magazine. So we're never off the hook, Terry.
BAMFORD: There are tools. There are unguents, lotions, potions. Get on it.
GROSS: Maria Bamford, it's just been great to talk with you. Thank you so much.
BAMFORD: Thank you so much for - it's been such an honor and a pleasure. I feel so excited. Thank you.
GROSS: Maria Bamford's new comedy album that comes with a DVD of her Comedy Central specials, is called "Ask Me About My New God." You'll find a link to her web series "The Maria Bamford Show," on our website freshair.npr.org. The revelation that the new novel "The Cuckoo's Calling" by Robert Galbraith was really written by J.K. Rowling turned the book into a bestseller. But is it good? Our book critic Maureen Corrigan weighs in after we take a break. This is FRESH AIR.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.


text:
Michigan Wolverines Gear
Michigan Wolverines Mens
Michigan Wolverines Mens T-Shirts
Michigan Wolverines Mens T-Shirts Short Sleeved
(244 items)
Product ID: 1569659
Main Content
Show off your Michigan fanaticism in a very simple and stylish way at the next home game! There won't be a bigger Wolverines fan out there when you boast this Rebound tee. This tee features a V-neck collar with a left-side descending school name and logo printed on the chest. Your undying Michigan team spirit will be on full display when you sport this comfy tee!
- 55% Cotton/45% Polyester
- Imported
- Officially licensed
- Reinforced taped collar seam
- Screen print graphics
- V-neck
Special event items are produced by manufacturers only after the outcome of a game
or event. These are advanced sale items and will ship immediately after they are
received in our warehouse.
Manufacturer direct items are shipped directly from the manufacturer. These items
are not available for international or expedited shipping.
Customized items can be personalized with options such as your name, your favorite
number, and/or designs. Some options may be limited by league rules.


text:
You are looking at historical revision 22703 of this page. It may differ significantly from its current revision.
Intarweb is an advanced http library. It parses all headers into more useful Scheme values.
Requires the defstruct, base64 and uri-common extensions.
The intarweb egg is designed to be used from a variety of situations. For this reason, it does not try to be a full HTTP client or server. If you need that kind of functionality, see eggs like spiffy or http-client.
[procedure] (make-request #!key uri port (method 'GET) (major 1) (minor 1) (headers (make-headers '())))Create a request object (a defstruct-type record). The client will generally write requests, while the server will read them.
The URI defines the entity to retrieve on the server, which should be a uri-common-type URI object. The PORT is the scheme I/O port where the request is written to or read from. The METHOD is a symbol that defines the HTTP method to use (case sensitive). MAJOR and MINOR identify the major and minor version of HTTP to use. Currently, 0.9, 1.0 and 1.1 are supported (but be careful with 0.9, it has some weird consequences and is not widely supported). HEADERS must be a headers object.
[procedure] (request-uri REQUEST) => URI[procedure] (request-port REQUEST) => PORT
[procedure] (request-method REQUEST) => SYMBOL
[procedure] (request-major REQUEST) => NUMBER
[procedure] (request-minor REQUEST) => NUMBER
[procedure] (request-headers REQUEST) => HEADERS
An existing request can be picked apart with these accessors.
[procedure] (write-request REQUEST) => REQUESTWrite a request line with headers to the server. In case it is a request type that has any body data, this should be written to the the request's port. Beware that this port can be modified by write-request, so be sure to write to the port as it is returned by the write-request procedure!
[procedure] (read-request PORT) => REQUESTReads a request object from the given input-port. An optional request body can be read from the request-port after calling this procedure.
[parameter] (request-parsers [LIST])Requests are parsed using parse procedures, which can be customized by overriding this parameter.
LIST is a list of procedures which accept a request line string and produce a request object, or #f if the request is not of the type handled by that procedure.
The predefined request parsers are:
- http-0.9-request-parser
- http-1.x-request-parser
[procedure] (http-1.x-request-parser STRING) => REQUEST
Predefined request parsers for use with request-parsers.
[parameter] (request-unparsers [LIST])Requests are written using unparse procedures, which can be customized by overriding this parameter.
LIST is list of procedures which accept a request object and write to the request's output port and return the new, possibly updated request object. If the request object is not unparsed by this handler, it returns #f.
The predefined request unparsers are:
- http-0.9-request-unparser
- http-1.x-request-unparser
[procedure] (http-1.x-request-unparser REQUEST) => REQUEST
Predefined request unparsers for use with request-unparsers. They return the request, and as a side effect they write the request to the request object's port.
[procedure] (make-response #!key port (code 200) (reason "OK") (major 1) (minor 1) (headers (make-headers '())))Create a response, a defstruct-type record. A server will usually write a response with write-response; a client will read it with read-response.
[procedure] (response-port RESPONSE) => PORT[procedure] (response-code RESPONSE) => NUMBER
[procedure] (response-reason RESPONSE) => STRING
[procedure] (response-class RESPONSE-OR-CODE) => NUMBER
[procedure] (response-major RESPONSE) => NUMBER
[procedure] (response-minor RESPONSE) => NUMBER
[procedure] (response-headers RESPONSE) => HEADERS
An existing response can be picked apart using these accessors.
The PORT, MAJOR, MINOR and HEADERS are the same as for requests. CODE and REASON are an integer status code and the short message that belongs to it, as defined in the spec (examples include: 200 OK, 301 Moved Permanently, etc). CLASS is the major class of the response code (100, 200, 300, 400 or 500). response-class can be called either on a response object or directly on a response code number.
[procedure] (write-response RESPONSE) => RESPONSEWrite the response object RESPONSE to the response-port.
If there is a response body, this must be written to the response-port after sending the response headers.
[procedure] (read-response PORT) => RESPONSEReads a response object from the port. An optional response body can be read from the response-port after calling this procedure.
[parameter] (response-parsers [LIST])Responses are parsed using parse procedures, which can be customized by overriding this parameter.
LIST is a list one of procedures which accept a response line string and produce a response object, or #f if the response is not of the type handled by that procedure.
The predefined response parsers are:
- http-0.9-response-parser
- http-1.x-response-parser
[procedure] (http-1.x-response-parser REQUEST) => REQUEST
Predefined response parsers for use with response-parser.
[parameter] (response-unparsers [LIST])Responses are written using unparse procedures, which can be customized by overriding this parameter.
LIST is a list of procedures which accept a response object and write to the response's output port and return the new, possibly updated response object. If the response object is not unparsed by this handler, it returns #f.
The predefined response unparsers are the following:
- http-0.9-response-unparser
- http-1.x-response-unparser
[procedure] (http-1.x-response-unparser REQUEST) => REQUEST
Predefined response unparsers for use with response-unparser.
[procedure] (headers ALIST [HEADERS]) => HEADERSThis creates a header object based on an input list.
Requests and responses contain HTTP headers wrapped in a special header-object to ensure they are properly normalized.
The input list has header names (symbols) as keys, and lists of values as values:
(headers `((host ("example.com" . 8080))
(accept #(text/html ((q . 0.5)))
#(text/xml ((q . 0.1)))))
This adds the named headers to the existing headers in old-headers. The host header is a pair of hostname/port. The accept header is a list of allowed mime-type symbols.
As can be seen here, optional parameters or "attributes" can be added to a header value by wrapping the value in a vector of length 2. The first entry in the vector is the header value, the second is an alist of attribute name/value pairs.
[procedure] (headers->list HEADERS) => ALISTThis converts a header object back to a list. See headers for details.
[procedure] (header-values NAME HEADERS) => LISTObtain the value of header NAME in the HEADERS object.
The NAME of the header is a symbol; this procedure will return all the values of the header (for example, the Accept header will have several values that indicate the set of acceptable mime-types).
[procedure] (header-value NAME HEADERS [DEFAULT]) => valueIf you know in advance that a header has only one value, you can use header-value instead of header-values. This will return the first value in the list, or the provided default if there is no value for that header.
[procedure] (header-params NAME HEADERS) => ALISTThis will return all the params for a given header, assuming there is only one header. An empty list is returned if the header does not exist.
[procedure] (header-param PARAM NAME HEADERS [DEFAULT]) => valueThis will return a specific parameter for the header, or DEFAULT if the parameter isn't present or the header does not exist. This also assumes there's only one header.
[procedure] (header-contents NAME HEADERS) => VECTOR[procedure] (get-value VECTOR) => value
[procedure] (get-params VECTOR) => ALIST
[procedure] (get-param PARAM VECTOR [DEFAULT]) => value
Procedures such as header-values are just shortcuts; these are the underlying procedures to query the raw contents of a header.
Header contents are 2-element vectors; the first value containing the value for the header and the second value containing an alist with "parameters" for that header value. Parameters are attribute/value pairs that define further specialization of a header's value. For example, the accept header consists of a list of mime-types, which optionally can have a quality parameter that defines the preference for that mime-type. All parameter names are downcased symbols, just like header names.
Header types
The headers all have their own different types. Here follows a list of headers with their value types:
Header name | Value type | Example value |
accept | List of mime-types (symbols), with optional q attribute indicating "quality" (preference level) | (text/html #(text/xml ((q . 0.1)))) |
accept-charset | List of charset-names (symbols), with optional q attribute | (utf-8 #(iso-8859-5 ((q . 0.1)))) |
accept-encoding | List of encoding-names (symbols), with optional q attribute | (gzip #(identity ((q . 0)))) |
accept-language | List of language-names (symbols), with optional q attribute | (en-gb #(nl ((q . 0.5)))) |
accept-ranges | List of range types acceptable (symbols). The spec only defines bytes and none. | (bytes) |
age | Age in seconds (number) | (3600) |
allow | List of methods that are allowed (symbols). | (GET POST PUT DELETE) |
authorization | Authorization information. This consists of a symbol identifying the authentication scheme, with scheme-specific attributes. basic is handled specially, as if it were a regular symbol with two attributes; username and password. | (#(basic ((username . "foo") (password . "bar"))) #(digest ((qop . auth) (username . "Mufasa") (nc . 1)))) |
cache-control | An alist of key/value pairs. If no value is applicable, it is #t | ((public . #t) (max-stale . 10) (no-cache . (age set-cookie))) |
connection | A list of connection options (symbols) | (close) |
content-encoding | A list of encodings (symbols) applied to the entity-body. | (deflate gzip) |
content-language | The natural language(s) of the "intended audience" (symbols) | (de nl en-gb) |
content-length | The number of bytes (an exact number) in the entity-body | (10) |
content-location | A location that the content can be retrieved from (a uri-common object) | (<#uri-common# ...>) |
content-md5 | The MD5 checksum (a string) of the entity-body | ("12345ABCDEF") |
content-range | Content range (pair with start- and endpoint) of the entity-body, if partially sent | ((25 . 120)) |
content-type | The mime type of the entity-body (a symbol) | (text/html) |
date | A timestamp (10-element vector, see string->time) at which the message originated. Important: Note that you will always need to supply (an empty list of) attributes, because otherwise it is ambiguous whether it's a vector with attribs or a bare timestamp. | (#(#(42 23 15 20 6 108 0 309 #f 0) ())) |
etag | An entity-tag (pair, car being either the symbol weak or strong, cdr being a string) that uniquely identifies the resource contents. | ((strong . "foo123")) |
expect | Expectations of the server's behaviour (alist of symbol-string pairs), possibly with parameters. | (#(((100-continue . #t)) ())) |
expires | Expiry timestamp (10-element vector, see string->time) for the entity. Also see the note for date | (#(#(42 23 15 20 6 108 0 309 #f 0) ())) |
from | The e-mail address (a string) of the human user who controls the client | ("email@example.com") |
host | The host to use (for virtual hosting). This is a pair of hostname and port. The port will be #f if the port should be the default one for the requested service. | (("example.com" . 8080)) |
if-match | Either '* (a wildcard symbol) or a list of entity-tags (pair, weak/strong symbol and unique entity identifier string). | ((strong . "foo123") (strong . "bar123")) |
if-modified-since | Timestamp (10-element vector, see string->time) which indicates since when the entity must have been modified. | (#(#(42 23 15 20 6 108 0 309 #f 0) ())) |
if-none-match | Either '* (a wildcard symbol) or a list of entity-tags (pair, weak/strong symbol and unique entity identifier symbol). | ((strong . foo123) (strong . bar123)) |
if-range | The range to request, if the entity was unchanged | TODO |
if-unmodified-since | A timestamp (10-element vector, see string->time) since which the entity must not have been modified | (#(#(42 23 15 20 6 108 0 309 #f 0) ())) |
last-modified | A timestamp (10-element vector, see string->time) when the entity was last modified | (#(#(42 23 15 20 6 108 0 309 #f 0) ())) |
location | A location (an URI object) to which to redirect | (<#uri-object ...>) |
max-forwards | The maximum number of proxies that can forward a request | (2) |
pragma | An alist of symbols containing implementation-specific directives. | ((no-cache . #t) (my-extension . my-value)) |
proxy-authenticate | Proxy authentication request. Equivalent to www-authenticate, for proxies. | (#(basic ((realm . "foo")) ) #(digest ((realm . "foo") (domain . (<#uri object> <#uri object>)) (qop . (auth auth-int)) (nonce . "012345abc")))) |
proxy-authorization | The answer to a proxy-authentication request. Equivalent to authorization, for proxies. | (#(basic ((username . "foo") (password . "bar"))) #(digest ((qop . auth) (username . "Mufasa") (nc . 1)))) |
range | The range of bytes (a pair of start and end) to request from the server. | ((25 . 120)) |
referer | The referring URL (uri-common object) that linked to this one. | (<#uri-object ...>) |
retry-after | Timestamp (10-element vector, see string->time) after which to retry the request if unavailable now. | (#(#(42 23 15 20 6 108 0 309 #f 0) ())) |
server | List of products the server uses (list of 3-tuple lists of strings; product name, product version, comment. Version and/or comment may be #f). Note that this is a single header, with a list inside it! | ((("Apache" "2.2.9" "Unix") ("mod_ssl" "2.2.9" #f) ("OpenSSL" "0.9.8e" #f) ("DAV" "2" #f) ("mod_fastcgi" "2.4.2" #f) ("mod_apreq2-20051231" "2.6.0" #f))) |
te | Allowed transfer-encodings (symbols, with optional q attribute) for the response | (deflate #(gzip ((q . 0.2)))) |
trailer | Names of header fields (symbols) available in the trailer/after body | (range etag) |
transfer-encoding | The encodings (symbols) used in the body | (chunked) |
upgrade | Product names to which must be upgraded (strings) | TODO |
user-agent | List of products the user agent uses (list of 3-tuple lists of strings; product name, product version, comment. Version and/or comment may be #f). Note that this is a single header, with a list inside it! | ((("Mozilla" "5.0" "X11; U; NetBSD amd64; en-US; rv:188.8.131.52") ("Gecko" "2008110501" #f) ("Minefield" "3.0.3" #f))) |
vary | The names of headers that define variation in the resource body, to determine cachability (symbols) | (range etag) |
via | The intermediate hops through which the message is forwarded (strings) | TODO |
warning | Warning code for special status | TODO |
www-authenticate | If unauthorized, a challenge to authenticate (symbol, with attributes) | (#(basic ((realm . "foo"))) #(digest ((realm . "foo") (domain . (<#uri object> <#uri object>)) (qop . (auth auth-int)) (nonce . "012345abc")))) |
set-cookie | Cookies to set (name/value pair (both strings), with attributes) | (#(("foo" . "bar") ((max-age . 10) (port . '(80 8080)))) |
cookie | Cookies that were set (name/value string pair, with attributes) | (#(("foo" . "bar") ((version . 1) (path . #(uri path: (/ ""))) (domain . "foo.com")))) |
Any unrecognised headers are assumed to be multi-headers, and the entire header lines are put unparsed into a list, one entry per line.
Header parsers and unparsers
[parameter] (header-parsers [ALIST])[parameter] (header-unparsers [ALIST])
The parsers and unparsers used to read and write header values can be customized with these parameters.
These (un)parsers are indexed with as key the header name (a symbol) and the value being a procedure.
A header parser accepts the contents of the header (a string, without the leading header name and colon) and returns a list of vectors which represents the values of the header. For headers that are supposed to only have a single value, the last value in the list will be stored as the value (as determined by single-headers).
A header unparser accepts one argument: the header's contents (a vector). It should return a list of strings, each of which represents one line's worth of header contents (without the header name). For each entry, a header line will automatically be printed with the header name preceding it.
The parser driver will call update-header-contents! with the parser's result.
[parameter] (header-parse-error-handler [HANDLER])When there is an error parsing a given header, this parameter's procedure will be invoked.
HANDLER is a procedure accepting four values: the header name, the header contents, the current headers and the exception object. The procedure must return the new headers. Defaults to a procedure that simply returns the current headers. When an error occurs while parsing the header line itself (for example when a colon is missing between the header name and contents), the error will not be caught.
In such a case, Servers should return a 400 Bad Request error and clients should error out. The reason that malformed error lines are ignored is that there are several servers and clients that send headers content values that are slightly off, even though the rest of the request is OK. In the interest of the "robustness principle", it's best to simply ignore these headers with "bad" content values.
[procedure] (replace-header-contents NAME CONTENTS HEADERS) => HEADERS[procedure] (replace-header-contents! NAME CONTENTS HEADERS) => HEADERS
[procedure] (update-header-contents NAME CONTENTS HEADERS) => HEADERS
[procedure] (update-header-contents! NAME CONTENTS HEADERS) => HEADERS
The replace procedures replace any existing contents of the named header with new ones, the update procedures add these contents to the existing header. The procedures with a name ending in bang are linear update variants of the ones without the bang. The header contents have to be normalized to be a 2-element vector, with the first element being the actual value and the second element being an alist (possibly empty) of parameters/attributes for that value.
The update procedures append the value to the existing header if it is a multi-header, and act as a simple replace in the case of a single-header.
[parameter] (single-headers [LIST])Whether a header is allowed once or multiple times in a request or response is determined by this parameter.
The value is a list of symbols that define header-names which are allowed to occur only once in a request/response.
[procedure] (http-name->symbol STRING) => SYMBOL[procedure] (symbol->http-name SYMBOL) => STRING
These procedures convert strings containing the name of a header or attribute (parameter name) to symbols representing the same. The symbols are completely downcased. When converting this symbol back to a string, the initial letters of all the words in the header name or attribute are capitalized.
[procedure] (remove-header name headers) => headers[procedure] (remove-header! name headers) => headers
These two procedures remove all headers with the given name.
Other procedures
[procedure] (keep-alive? request-or-response)Returns #t when the given request or response object belongs to a connection that should be kept alive, #f if not. Remember that both parties must agree on whether the connection is to be kept alive or not; HTTP/1.1 defaults to keep alive unless a Connection: close header is sent, HTTP/1.0 defaults to closing the connection, unless a Connection: Keep-Alive header is sent.
[procedure] (safe? request-or-method)Returns #t when the given request object or symbol (method) is a safe method. A method is defined to be safe when a request of this method will have no side-effects on the server. In practice this means that you can send this request from anywhere at any time and cause no damage.
Important: Quite a lot of software does not abide by these rules! This is not necessarily a reason to treat all methods as unsafe, however. In the words of the standard "the user did not request the side-effects, so therefore cannot be held accountable for them". If a safe method produces side-effects, that's the server-side script developer's fault and he should fix his code.
[parameter] (safe-methods [symbols])A list of methods which are to be considered safe. Defaults to '(GET HEAD OPTIONS TRACE).
[procedure] (idempotent? request-or-method)Returns #t when the given request object or symbol (method) is a idempotent method. A method is defined to be idempotent when a series of identical requests of this method in succession causes the exact same side-effect as just one such request. In practice this means that you can safely retry such a request when an error occurs, for example.
Important: Just as with the safe methods, there is no guarantee that methods that should be idempotent really are idempotent in any given web application. Furthermore, a sequence of requests which each are individually idempotent is not necessarily idempotent as a whole. This means that you cannot replay requests starting anywhere in the chain. To be on the safe side, only retry the last request in the chain.
[parameter] (idempotent-methods [symbols])A list of methods which are to be considered idempotent. Defaults to '(GET HEAD PUT DELETE OPTIONS TRACE).
[procedure] (etag=? a b)Do the etag values a and b strongly match? That is, their car and cdr must be equal, and neither can have a car of weak (both must be strong).
[procedure] (etag=-weakly? a b)Do the etag values a and b weakly match? That is, their car and cdr must be equal. A car of weak is allowed.
[procedure] (etag-matches? etag matches)Does the etag strongly match any of the etags in the list matches? matches is a plain list of etag values, but it can also contain the special symbol *, which matches any etag.
[procedure] (etag-matches-weakly? etag matches)Does the etag weakly match any of the etags in the list matches? matches is a plain list of etag values, but it can also contain the special symbol *, which matches any etag.
- 0.6 Change path parameters on cookies to be uri-common objects
- 0.5 Add regex requirement to make it work with Chicken 4.6.2+
- 0.4 Don't unparse "attributes" (aka "params") by titlecasing their names. Don't default Host header's port to 80, but use #f
- 0.3 Add rfc1123 to default unparser list for the 'date' header. Add etag procedures and if-match unparser. Change procedure signature for header unparsers
- 0.2 Make cookie header parsers/unparsers preserve cookie name case. Change header unparse procedure semantics slightly.
- 0.1 Initial version
Copyright (c) 2008-2010, Peter Bex All rights reserved. Redistribution and use in source and binary forms, with or without modification, are permitted provided that the following conditions are met: Redistributions of source code must retain the above copyright notice, this list of conditions and the following disclaimer. Redistributions in binary form must reproduce the above copyright notice, this list of conditions and the following disclaimer in the documentation and/or other materials provided with the distribution. Neither the name of the author nor the names of its contributors may be used to endorse or promote products derived from this software without specific prior written permission. THIS SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED BY THE COPYRIGHT HOLDERS AND CONTRIBUTORS "AS IS" AND ANY EXPRESS OR IMPLIED WARRANTIES, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY AND FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE ARE DISCLAIMED. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE COPYRIGHT HOLDERS OR CONTRIBUTORS BE LIABLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, EXEMPLARY, OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES (INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, PROCUREMENT OF SUBSTITUTE GOODS OR SERVICES; LOSS OF USE, DATA, OR PROFITS; OR BUSINESS INTERRUPTION) HOWEVER CAUSED AND ON ANY THEORY OF LIABILITY, WHETHER IN CONTRACT, STRICT LIABILITY, OR TORT (INCLUDING NEGLIGENCE OR OTHERWISE) ARISING IN ANY WAY OUT OF THE USE OF THIS SOFTWARE, EVEN IF ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE.


text:
Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah started doing his "six-shooter celebration" earlier this year, where he occasionally would mimic firing a gun like an Old West cowboy after scoring a basket. After last Friday's tragic shootings in Newtown, Conn., Noah has holstered his fake gun for good.
Via ESPNChicago:
"I started doing it in practice," Noah said after recording a triple-double in a 100-89 victory against the Boston Celtics on Tuesday. "I hit a jump shot in Keith Bogans' face, and I started doing (it) and kept doing it and it was kind of a funny, comical thing, but I guess we're in a situation right now where it's not funny. You can't joke around with things like that. Too many people are dying because of guns. We have a problem here with guns, so (I'm) just trying to be a little bit compassionate about what's going on. You can't joke around -- it's not a laughing matter anymore."
Noah, who achieved the second triple-double of his career Tuesday, previously has worked with groups in Chicago to try and stop the city's growing gang violence. He wrote about the experience for the Chicago Sun-Times in September.
Noah is one of many athletes and coaches who have shared their reaction to the Newtown tragedy and honored the victims.
Copyright 2015
Read the original story: Joakim Noah holsters 'six-shooter celebration' after tragedy


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- Anywhere In The UK
- Location: Anywhere in the UK
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Ents24 Rating
Drama / Biopic
Sacha Gervasi
Running time:
98 mins
8th February 2013
About Hitchcock
A drama about the relationship between famous director Alfred Hitchcock (Anthony Hopkins) and his wife and collaborator Alma Reville (Helen Mirren), set at the time they made his most famous and controversial film, 'Psycho'. Forced to finance the film himself, Hitchcock put everything on the line and ended up shaping the future of horror films and cinema in general. We all know what a classic Pscyho turned out to be, and most people are familiar with Hitchcock's jovial, exacting and odd persona. But this film counters his obsession with young blonde stars and the macabre by giving a new depiction of the devotion and spirit shown by his wife. It suggests that, while surrounded by comely actresses like Janet Leigh (Scarlett Johansson), Hitchcock's creative genius was fired by the woman who stood at his side year after year.
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text:
Inclusive aquatic plant kit demystifies product selection for a stylish designer aquarium. Fluval Flora Planted Aquarium Kit comes equipped to streamline aquarium setup. Compact desktop aquarium kit includes such key components as an internal filter, compact fluorescent lighting system, a mini carbon dioxide system and more for convenient setup. Hobbyists of all skill levels can enjoy ease of setup and the flexibility for custom displays. Create a stunning miniature environment for natural plants with the Fluval Flora Planted Aquarium Kit. Fluval Flora Aquatic Plant Kit Includes:
Replacement CO2 Cylinders and replacement media for the Fluval Nano Internal Filter (each sold separately). Please click on "More Information" for recommended plant species and plant maintenance tips. | ||||||


text:
Event Calendar
Ron Paley
Summer Music Series at the Lyric Theatre. There are few things better that spending a warm summer evening on the sprawling lawns of Assiniboine Park, listening to the melodies and harmonies from the Lyric Theatre mingle with the rustle of the leaves in the breeze.
- Where:
- Lyric Theatre
- Assiniboine Park
- When:
- Thursday, August 4, 2011 from 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM
- What:
- Concerts
- Tickets: (PRICES ARE CDN)
- Free
- Neighbourhood:
- Centre
- More Information:
- http://www.assiniboinepark.ca/events/summer-arts-entertainment.php
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