text:
User talk:Lee Harvey Osmond
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being an admin st*nks and now some stupid bullshit went down. i'm sticking with this account even if it gets fixed, i don't really give a fuck.--Lee Harvey Osmond (talk) 18:45, July 24, 2012 (UTC)
- And who are you? Mattsnow 18:52, July 24, 2012 (UTC)
- Are you RDB? 19:14, July 24, 2012 (UTC)
- --Lee Harvey Osmond (talk) 19:33, July 24, 2012 (UTC)
- Are you RDB? 19:14, July 24, 2012 (UTC)
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July 26th, 2012 • Issue 171 • Proudly supporting editorial independence whenever the board say it's okay
Painting by Numbers This week some of Uncyclopedia's greatest and not so great have spent some time watching Uncyclopedia pass by without them. This is the news that Wikia has taken the momentous decision to lock out the vast majority of the active administrators and half the users. Problems began at 11:20 UTC on the 24th of July when Socky discovered that he was unable to access a few select features of his account; logging in being the most obvious. Banished to the realm of numbers Socky went to the forums and told everyone else. It soon became apparent that nobody could log in, except for Bizzeebeever, who "made the software his bitch" by pressing the log in button more than even wikia had anticipated. As everyone sat on the forum and debated just how angry and indignant this news should make them, a wikia representative was dispatched to the forum to pour oil on troubled waters, suggesting that Uncyclopedians "Return to causing world suffering or burning me in effigy". But burning effigies of Wikia staff members would have to wait as it became evident that, following the initial lock out of everybody, the adminstrator database had somehow been lost when it was being carried to a new building, or something like that. The administrator magic then gushed into the ground and caused a giant peach to grow outside Wikia headquarters. This condemned the administrators to a long evening of moaning on the Uncyclopedia IRC channel, where another Wikia representative awaited with nothing but a can do attitude and a lack of information about the problem to ensure that everybody remained as irritated as possible. Even worse than that, following a great deal of moaning somebody started off UnTrivia, forcing everybody through an evening of anagrams and obscure song lyrics. At the time of going to press only Thekillerfroggy appears to have been able to force his way through the log in procedure to use admin tools while users who could log in took full advantage of the absence of any administrators to fill the forum with appalling alternatives to fixing the problem. It would seem that, at present, the only solution is to make a new account and then curry favour with TKF, the only way to do this being fellatio or copious helpings of wang. 18.104.22.168 had this to say about the outage: "Zombiebaron.... FU WIKIA". 188.8.131.52 reported a similar feeling saying "Ahahahahahahahahah...god dammit, why can't I log in?". As we enter a second day with all the admins locked out something novel occurs to me; I can watch Uncyclopedia, and I can shag the sheep, but I don't want to if nobody knows it was me.
Loramycetaceae of Ipswich do lorikeets while sitting amidst consecrators a-disciplining the elite. My gonads' dictum ipsilaterally saps your mom. Nullification of the masses accretes the Nibelungen's pretty umpty temperament. Done accelerating liberation. Done cunting shit amidst nisin from a pedo auctioneer named Hendrik. Protein from Trisha's antique rises into risus sardonicus. Doodlebugs' necks beget a menu with fetus. Protein exposure lectures quip Magdalena Corvallis, files nisei fermenter magma, nut amputate diam denim ac tulles. Groin peed. Coned a joust ac oleo perambulator lacing. In presidium collision purls. Letitia venations, nils veal consenter plenteousness, orcas mi male Tussuad urns, veil tempoes nuns est at gurus. Nascence volute. Vivacious Yul trices. Crays portrait offends libeler. Nuns mi amass, collisional veal, dissimilar quips, volute vitae, nuns. Done consequent. Coned congruent peed sit meat denim. Duelist pulmonary ants. Nuns consecrate tether. Done cactus cum, qualm sit mate pulp Tate oculists, just libeler various purrs, seed biennium Turpin purls beget Loramycetaceae. Quizzes we equine dew, Budapest neck, male Tussuad veld, fermentation in, odors. Phallus invites torpor. Integer neck elicit. Nam vitae felts vile Loramycetaceae lacerate Hendrik. Present ornate. Loramycetaceae of Ipswich dolor sit meat, conch secreter a-discoing lite. Sunlamp Isis. Plenteousness vaccinial volute arch. Bisque non nun. In ornate commodity venality. Swed nun rises, gravid at, concuss id, tempts you, Sulla. Phallus is lacking, commodore sled, incident pulmonary, facilitates Vella, Nissie. Vivacious Budapest. Noella enigma. Donne portal Allison dolor. Groin non Maurise. Letitia Loramycetaceae urns, vestibular eat, aliquot vitae, suspicious neck, tulles. Letitia so dales diam egret equine tempos aorta. In ult rices Dolores. Also, I can log in again! Hurrah! |
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--OliOmniOmbudsman 15:20, July 26, 2012 (UTC)
homosexual username
you changed man, your user name used to be cool. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 08:56, July 27, 2012 (UTC)
- Personally I enjoy the thought of America's favorite Mormon assassinating the president. Well, favorite Mormon after Steve Young anyway. -RAHB 19:34, July 28, 2012 (UTC)
New sig
What do you think of this, Lee? -- LEEHA RVE YOSMOND Duty Now for the Future!
You can use it if you want to. Just give me the word. :D
17:55, August 2, 2012 (UTC)- IT'S A HOMOSEXUAL USER NAME, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD >:( >:( >:( <-- i'm rly f*c*ing angry right now if u cant tell --Lee Harvey Osmond (talk) 22:43, August 3, 2012 (UTC)
- Yes, I can tell, because you're using CAPS LOCK! 16:27, August 4, 2012 (UTC)
No need for eye protection, it's the UnSignpost!
Reading This Is The Mysterious Second Step To Getting Profit From Stealing Childrens' Underwear!
August 9th, 2012 • Issue 172 • You need to know stuff to be biased!
The state of the Wiki: Summer 2012
The biggest news of the week this week is that there isn't any news whatsoever, sure there are a few forums in the dump that promise to radically shake up the way everyone edits Uncyclopedia, or at least change it slightly. But for the most part there is no news, which always comes as a great relief to everyone in the UnSignpost office as it means that we can spend this week drivelling about pointless minutia and thus crawl that one vital step closer to death. The state of the wiki is this: nobody is voting for half of the monthly awards. This is naturally a cause of great concern for everybody, the prevailing feeling being that somebody should be nominating and voting for people on these awards, but we'd rather it wasn't us. Nobody is happy with the current VFS system, but nobody can agree on anything to change it to, so the current VFS system has remained with he proviso that everyone sneer about how unfair it is every time it is used. This periodical has already chronicled the appalling miscarriage of justice that allows administrators extra votes on VFS so it with an air of surprise that the UnSignpost can now bring to you a proposal to let administrators run everything. Uncyclopedia's 29th wordy controversy filled blockbuster of the year suggests that the admins run everything because they are the most thorough and most experienced users, the voting section of the same forum being filled with comments from admins saying "Tl;dr" and "I can't be bothered to read your entire essay", hand these splendid fellows the keys to city immediately, the UnSignpost implores you to entrust the administrative body with any nuclear codes or state secrets you might have, safe in the knowledge that they will never ever be looked at. Thekillerfroggy has solved the problems of the Worst 100 list by skipping 60 reflections and justifying it with a cliché, absolutely nobody notices and continues adding reflections about themselves and why they are adding a reflection to the list. Modusoperandi adds an actual reflection to the list causing the universe to begin collapsing in upon itself. The final and most grave piece of news is that Uncyclopedia is critically low in images of boobs, totalling only 634 pictures in the boob images category, now either some of you aren't correctly categorising your images of boobs, or there is a serious problem. Socky, who long ago took on the arduous and time consuming task of auditing the boob images category said "How I Uncyclopedia Needs More Vandals Yeah, you heard me, <insert name here>. Uncyclopedia needs more vandals. Why, you may ask. Why would we need more annoying basement-dwellers to ban? Well, I'll tell you. As all of you may have noticed, Uncyclopedia has been going through some inactivity lately, to the point where users who haven't signed on since who knows when are becoming more active on the site than users who check the website everyday. It seems our competitor has been gaining more activity than us, and we can't let that happen, now can we? There's only one way to get our activity back up: recruit vandals. Most vandals are EDiots anyway (of course, the best vandals are admins), so if we attract some vandals here, maybe they'll attract some more writers! And... er... Second thought, we don't need more vandals. Vandals suck and they should die. |
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--Chiefjustice3DS 07:10, August 10, 2012 (UTC)
Do you drive a car?
18:35, August 21, 2012 (UTC)- I own one and have a license, but I'm a freak and can't stand driving (I also don't have a life so where the hell would I go?). So yes and no. Why do you want to know, creep-o? --Lee Harvey Osmond (talk) 04:29, August 22, 2012 (UTC)
- HEY, I WAS JUST TRYING TO STRIKE UP A CONVERSATION! 19:03, August 22, 2012 (UTC)
ChiefjusticeDS enjoys butt-sex: The UnSignpost!
The periodical without any junk in its trunk!
August 23rd, 2012 • Issue 173 • One periodical to rule them all...
Don't mention the merger
The UnSignpost office is always busy, the phones ringing, the journalists writing, the constant clamouring of eager interview candidates and our editor daydreaming all of the above into existence. If anyone else came through the office every week there wouldn't be room for the crippling loneliness that forms such a massive part of our lives. The same, alas, cannot be said for UnBooks Author of the Month and UnScripts Playwright of the Month whose complete lack of any activity has resulted in them both being rolled into writer of the month. Why is this news? Because it means less voting and if there's less voting there must be less democracy, that's just common sense. Responsible for this dastardly plot is none other than Simsilikesims, you all know Simsilikesims, she's the person who wrote the content warning which we now see approximately six times a day. If you didn't know how content warnings worked before you definitely do now. Simsilikesims has had a number of these good ideas and it's likely that shortly we shall see her malevolent intent, possibly in the form of combining the UnTunes namespace with the mainspace because not enough people are singing their articles in the style of Dragonforce or however it is those people who don't understand magnetic fields sing their songs. What would an intolerable loss of the right of Uncyclopedians to let parts of the wiki fall into a state of abandonment and disrepair be without Thekillerfroggy to swing the hammer of despair? Hoping nobody would notice TKF also decided to smite Reviewer of the Month into the ether. RotM is an award that literally nobody was ever interested in... It's also the only award I've ever won twice, so don't mind me, I'll just be over here sobbing while I look through the archives of the first award I ever won... In other news Mattsnow has stepped down as UnNews' biggest cheese. The war to replace him is now on, the choice being between GlobalTourniquet and a machine who will plaster something onto the front page every so often, a machine and nobody at all. We here in the UnSignpost office haven't quite decided which we prefer and have ultimately decided to vote for Batman instead. Batman has a grappling hook to reach hard-to-reach places, sneaks around wearing leather and is a complete social retard while he's doing the job, in other words he's perfect for the position. If he can save Gotham from the Joker then we have absolute confidence in his ability to read articles and then put them in a template on a fairly regular basis. Do you have an opinion? Too bad, because you don't get a say; GlobalTourniquet started doing the whole thing last Saturday. Happy Thursday! The feature feature
"VFH sucks right now." proclaims the banner that greets all visitors to the VFH page. We've all seen it, probably whilst passing through and very pointedly not visiting VFP which is now beginning to resemble the immediate aftermath of a Nuclear event. However, this reporter has come up with an alternative explanation: it isn't VFH that sucks, it's all of you, and by extension all of us, which also happens to be all of me. Uncyclopedians, famous for their flame wars and constant douchebaggery seem to have come to the conclusion that when on VFH that it's better not to vote than to disagree. What else could account for the 15 plus voter turnout for articles that we all agree are fantastically well written/crafted, while articles which may well be of high quality, but bear the title "UnNews:Politicians politicise the filing system of plumbing the South-Eastern region of the Ukraine" struggle along, accruing 7 votes for before sitting on the feature queue until they die of old age. This alongside the fact that people can't be bothered means Thekillerfroggy is beside himself at the state of things. Why TKF? Because he seem to have appointed himself supreme worrier in-chief for VFH and is executing that duty by slapping increasingly urgent messages onto the page. "DON'T MAKE ME PUT IN CAPITALS" twitched Thekillerfroggy when approached by the UnSignpost about the latest message. How do we fix this? Voting, obviously, but it's more than that. Yes, you might only have time to vote on just one article, yes you are probably more likely to enjoy the article with 20 votes than 5, but unless you vote the articles with 5 votes will never have 20. There are lots of articles to vote on, but you have ages to do it in! This article has been there for a month and has managed 10 votes. Twitter managed 17 in 5 days! Are you people pulling our balls? Don't make us use the awe inspiring powers of caps lock to get our way, VOTE NOW! |
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I love the intro to your talk page
You should keep it. Oh God, here I go again, acting like a freak. Oh well, you probably understand my plight. Say, can you vote for me on Perv of the Month? Please... :D 18:02, August 30, 2012 (UTC)
- The sock puppet template? Why thank you. I didn't make it or anything, but I am damn glad that it exists. --Lee Harvey Osmond (talk) 02:26, August 31, 2012 (UTC)
If so, I want to say hi to this user too.
Primus really rocks. 19:13, 31 August, 2012 (UTC)
- Yup, it's me. Hello! Rock wif yo cock out, duuuuude. --Lee Harvey Osmond (talk) 22:01, August 31, 2012 (UTC)
For voting for me as Perv of the Month. As a reward, I will not bang your girlfriend.
20:28, September 5, 2012 (UTC)Set phasers to frag! It's the UnSignpost!
All your readers are belong to us
September 6th, 2012 • Issue 174 • When we were your age, this was all fields...
My "coming out"
Hey girlfriends! This week the UnSignpost puts the "Queen" in "Drama Queen" as it discusses the issues which are literally the bomb. The biggest bomb this week, besides how darling our UnSignpost correspondents look in their new outfits, is that Zombiebaron wants the wiki to improve, this means deleting most of it and playing trivia on IRC. The bigger news is that PoofyOnTheRadio also wants the wiki to improve, this means not playing trivia on IRC and sending editors out onto the internet in order to sell their bodies to Google in the hopes that this will increase traffic to the wiki. These squabbles are ultimately self-defeating, while we are arguing amongst ourselves whether or not we ought to change the beginner's guide into an 20 minute video and a fireworks display we still haven't managed to do anything. What we have decided is that articles can be deleted with less than +5 votes to delete and that RAHB is very good at trivia if nothing else. The other big news from weeks ago is that Mattsnow has stopped being in charge of UnNews after a period of however long it is he has been doing that. Shabidoo who loves to do "zany" stuff so he can get into the UnSignpost, has created an extra forum to ensure that absolutely nobody thanks Mattsnow and instead demonstrates just how hilarious they are. Congratulations to Zombiebaron who came out with the completely obvious joke before anyone else. Finally GlobalTourniquet, the new UnNews Quasar (by appointment of himself) is open to criticism... and penis, lol. VFHarassment
Remember the heady days of two weeks ago when we told you all to feel very bad because VFH didn't have enough nominations. Well forget that because now it does and we can move our sensationalist bandwagon elsewhere. Where better to send it than Pee review, currently known as the namespace that isn't a namespace that time forgot. Five reviews for the entire month of August demonstrates that nobody really seems particularly interested in assisting the review process. It might take a little while to do a Pee Review but there is a reason we have the space. It is of particular concern as we have a list of people who are supposed to be doing reviews at least once a month, myself included. Where are we? Who knows, but we certainly aren't perusing the list of articles awaiting review. Let's go over there! Let's bring Thekillerfroggy who can put a stern template at the top of the page and insist that this is hugely important to the wiki, guess what.... IT IS!!! Also there is likely to be a new VFS this month, bring on the voting, it makes everything better!
Why, again, are we counting to a million? Ever since 2008, Uncyclopedia has had a tradition of counting to a million. Started by Spang, this tradition has been going on for nearly five years. However, recently the question was asked relating to the value of the forum, with users complaining that it was "completely devoid of humor" and that it turns smart users into idiots. After mass protest (okay, not really) from the contributors of the thread and from someone else, said users commented on the forum saying that counting to a million is why so many articles supposedly suck nowadays and it's also why VFH is completely empty. It has also been stated that only idiots would do it. So now I'm attempting to answer it as quickly as I can: that's the point. We're idiots and we know that we're never going to make it to a million, but we want to see how close we can get anyway. So if you are the type of idiot that would write for Uncyclopedia, feel free to assist us in our count to one million, or close to. |
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--Chiefjustice3DS 10:54, September 6, 2012 (UTC)
What do you...
Think of my my new page? 17:56, October 13, 2012 (UTC)
- that sucks, m8 --Lee Harvey Osmond (talk) 06:55, October 20, 2012 (UTC)
- How about now?
- The very definition of gay. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 20:47, October 27, 2012 (UTC)
- You sure like gay jokes, don't you Frosty. 21:34, October 31, 2012 (UTC)
19:51, October 27, 2012 (UTC)
- The very definition of gay. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 20:47, October 27, 2012 (UTC)
- How about now?
Never-mind that
Looking at your page, I'd like to ask, LHO, do you like This is Spinal Tap? Because if you do, we have something in common. That's one of my favorite movies!!!!
01:26, November 4, 2012 (UTC)- lol wat do u tink dude, of course i like it lolololol --Lee Harvey Osmond (talk) 01:39, November 11, 2012 (UTC)
would you kindly restore the version of Harry Potter (character) that you deleted on January 6, 2010 at 18:27 UTC (according to this) to my userspace? The reason I'm asking is that I'm thinking about restoring an old version from 2007 of a Harry Potter article I found on the mirror uncyclopedia, which I think is likely to be an older (maybe even the original) version of the same page that was deleted via VFD (meaning it evolved into the other version, as opposed to being huffed and recreated anew). However, I would need to examine whether the versions are sufficiently different to justify restoring the version from the mirror uncyc (i.e. whether article rot led to the page being VFDed), because otherwise I would be recreating a page that was deleted via VFD. Thank you. Schamschi, 17:46, November 16, 2012 (UTC)
- Yeah, Lee has this new thing where he waits for a week before he responds to posts. Personally I think it's just a phase, though. 19:53, November 24, 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks! Schamschi, 00:10, November 28, 2012 (UTC)
Extra! Extra! News that's not new to you!
The Newspaper With No Ambitions, Goals, Hopes or Dreams!
Nov 20rd, 2012 • Issue 175 • The edition that's black and white and dead all over
We are all doomed, and it's Wikia's fault
It's been a quiet four months at Uncyclopedia, our hometown, out here on the edge of the prairie, and it's not just because Wikia have murdered everyone and are currently bathing in golden tubs filled with their blood. It seems Uncyclopedia has lost more users than John Travolta has lost gerbils up his own butt[citation needed], but fear not, Uncyclopedians-who-have-been-here-less-than-one-month! Long-time wunderkind and beloved administrator Frosty (sorry, are we laying it on too thickly?) has a plan to save us, and it involves... getting himself run over by a car. Ha ha! Actually, he posted a forum topic, accompanied by a vote, because that's what Uncyclopedians do in times of crisis, and it always works. Forum:Petitions to make all our users that quit comeback attempts to galvanize Uncyclopedia's remaining users to action by reminding them that we used to have members, Oh! so many members! Most of whom were better than us! Please sign a petition asking them back—sign, you ungrateful todgers, like your lives depend on it—and then email them all on the 14th! In theory, the people receiving said emails will return to Uncyclopedia with smiles on their faces and bliss in their hearts. In practice, however, the plan has been difficult to implement. And by "difficult", we mean "slightly impossible". A frustrated user has narrowed the plan's failure to three causes:
As it turns out, Wikia has limited the number of emails users can send to each other to ONE PER BLOODY DAY, rendering Frosty's scheme to bury our departed users under an avalanche of spam all for naught. As of Monday, November 19, exactly two departed users have been persuaded to return by the campaign, and nobody likes Kakun or Oliphaunte anyway, because they are useless puddles of suckage. It's just as well; most current Uncyclopedians are slightly too drunk to notice that putting a running chainsaw against one's neck is a bad idea, much less understand what the petition is all about. At any rate, if you haven't accidentally decapitated yourself with a chainsaw, do have a look at that forum, and if necessary, make yourself one or two (or forty) sockpuppets, just to spam those long-departed users of ours. The Cabal Wills It.* *(Note: There Is No Cabal) Frosty is dead.
No, you read that wrong, he is just dead inside. Earlier this month, Frosty nearly had the shit murdered out of him by a car. Luckily, as Frosty is a typical Australian teenager, he was protected from serious harm by his protein-based exoskeleton and his thick layer of poisonous, mucosal warts. The car is expected to recover in time for the rematch; in an interview with our correspondent, the car shouted numerous dark threats while leaping onto a turnbuckle and shredding its T-shirt. In the interim, Frosty has been resting comfortably with the aid of codeine, alcohol, and oral favors from the Asian transsexuals arrayed at his feet. "I find Uncyclopedia no longer holds the same draw for me as it did before," said Frosty, "especially since I've been getting oral favours from these Asian transsexuals arrayed at my feet." So weep, all ye who read this, for Frosty has joined the ranks of the undead, despised by God and abhorred by the God-fearing. On the upside: he can now appreciate those movies about sparkly vampires. On the downside: he wants our blood. RUN! Return of the Prodigal Son
Hearts and minds were filled with joy last month by the tentative return of beloved Uncyclopedian Bizzeebeever, who became scarce in July, leaving behind a terse apology for "having no money for Internetting". Current Uncyclopedia ghost Lyritha was heard to say "Buckets, remind me who that is, again..." before floating away down a corridor, moaning and rattling chains. Or rather, she would have, if ghosts were real, and if we'd asked her. Bizzeebeever's return is said to augur good tidings for the wiki, even though his current contributions consist of pointless pot-shots at Wikia, and short, pithy remarks left on talk pages, such as "fuck you, I hope you are dead", and "please disregard the previous comment, my penis was caught in a pencil sharpener". He also lurks for hours on IRC, talking and playing UnTrivia by himself. It will surprise no one at all that Bizzeebeever is now the person most accomplished at playing with himself; when we asked Zombiebaron about Bizzeebeever's remarkable dominance of a game that no one else plays, he was heard to remark "Zombiebaron", which our interpreters took to mean "Can someone please ban that guy? I am too lazy to do it myself." We at the Unsignpost do hope that Bizzeebeever holds on to his current position as Head of Quality Assurance at the dildo factory, for we have missed his hilarious forum posts almost as much as we missed his habit of talking himself up in the Unsignpost ...and his limpid blue eyes ...and his silky-soft golden locks ...and the charmingly-gnarled 40 kg tumor jutting from his neck—you know the one, it resembles the offspring of a blood tangerine and a baboon, and contains both hair and teeth...? (That might be his head; we're not sure.) Anyway, yes, we all love Bizzeebeever, and we hope he stays "returned", at least until the judge decides whether to hold him indefinitely, or just chemically castrate him, for the safety of the public. Return of the OTHER Prodigal Son
This past week, another intermittent Uncyclopedia member (and full-time Mensch-in-Chief), TKF, returned to swear at SPIKE; delete articles which had even votes on VFD; ban people; feature an article with one "For" vote, one "Against" vote, and one comment on VFH; and be a generally hilarious excuse for an administrator. We all want to be you when we grow up, TKF! |
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~ Tue, Nov 20 '12 9:05 (UTC)
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The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!
Nov 27, 2012 • Issue 176 • I scream, you scream, we all scream...for painful orgasms
No, Uncyclopedia has not gotten religion; it's still full of degenerates, wang vandals, and that scourge of gay men everywhere: uncensored images of boobies. However, it has seen a recent influx of old and new users, most of whom apparently never got the memo about how Uncyclopedia sucks, or how Uncyclopedia is dying, or how Uncyclopedia will be contagious for another six weeks before the amoxicillin starts working. Returning recently like a scorching case of gonorrhea were Meganew (!), Socky, NoNamesLeft (to the everlasting delight of Frosty), and Master of Menageries Comicat1, who took a six-month sabbatical to invent preposterous new animals on the Serengeti. New users include Sinner George, MagicBus, Leverage, Fakehater and Kamek98, who have all taken to editing like ducks take to water—of course proving that they are all sockpuppets of someone, for which they will all be perm-banned, just as soon as Frosty can figure out who. Lastly but not leastly, we celebrate the arrival of the ridiculously competent Murder Frog, who brings expertise on influential musicians of the last century, but, more importantly, has the most awesome name since the Universe itself birthed Captain Machinegun Thunderpants Fuckmaster on a pile of slaughtered tigers. The UnSignpost welcomes them, one and all, and hopes that their tranquilizers don't wear off while they still remember how to leave. Obituary for a friend
Thanksgiving came and went on Uncyclopedia this past week, and while the rest of the world was busy cracking jokes about how Americans really don't need to throw a holiday as an excuse for eating, a certain Uncyclopedia tradition was busy getting beaten, raped, and left for dead in the compost-bin of memory. Yes, we were referring to the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball; how did you know? For those of you who don't remember, or don't want to remember (we assume that's all of you), the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball was the once-mighty celebration of sex-, torture- and scat-based humor so debauched and vile that it would shame a London dockside whore, and not a fresh young one, either—one that had been "fucked around the fleet". Sadly, no one even remembered the damn thing until two days before Thanksgiving, and when Uncyclopedia's favorite whipping boy brought up the subject in a forum, he was met by a silence so vast that we assume he fell into it, because we haven't seen him since. Being Kip, though, he'll probably pop back up through a sewer grate somewhere. Swim hard, Kip. The ATDB left no survivors; its limp corpse will be thoroughly sexually abused, its intestines torn apart and worn around necks like Christmas garland, and its remains will be fed to a freshly no-legged midget with a massive dildo rammed up his butt. Damn you, Mhaille and Zombiebaron, you lazy useless fucks. Esoteric bullshit
A certain faithful UnSignpost reader recently noted via electronic signal that the UnSignpost's last edition was both "spam" and "esoteric bullshit". We Here At the UnSignpost™ were, to be frank, shocked and dismayed by this statement, for it was never our intent to be anything but the most outrageously stupid, inane, crass, vulgar, rude, boorish, inbred, brain-dead, emotionally-stunted, anti-literate, fucked-up and all-around retarded puddle of gassy splooge east or west of the Mississippi—or any river, for that matter. In this endeavor, however, it seems we have failed. Yes, someone has beat us to it, and by a wide margin, for he is the undisputed champion of such sculduddery. So we offer up our most heartfelt apology to that reader, who shall remain nameless (it was Hotadmin4u69), and we humbly admit that we stand in awe of his ability to pick the gayest user name possible, not once, but twice. However, while we wish him the best of luck in disentangling his dental retainer from his own scrotum, we would like to remind him of the famous adage, Never quarrel with a man who buys ink by the barrel. |
Frosty Sez:
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Journalism so yellow it's orange: The UnSignpost
The Newspaper That Won't Judge You!
Dec 6th, 2012 • Issue 177 • OH GOD RUN! IT HAS GENITALS, AND IT IS IN SEARCH OF A MATE!
A headline goes here! No, really!
Well, it's that time of the month when you realize you've wasted another 30 days in the company of Uncyclopedians, and your wife or girlfriend metamorphoses into a giant man-eating banana and rampages through Kuala Lumpur while screaming about "cramps". But cheer up, Mister Cratchit! Eet's Christmas toime! Yes, time to purchase meaningless junk for people you hate, give freely to homeless assholes who are too lazy to work for their own money, and get drunk with other people you hate, because the economy is in the shitter, and if you ain't buying, you're with the terrorists! And now that I've reminded you of your long-lost Christmas spirit, it's time to remind you of something we like to call "VFS"! Yes, VFS is upon us again, and with it come several calls to op some twit named "Bizzeebeever". We Here At The UnSignpost™ can't think of anything that would benefit the wiki less, unless it was feeding live badgers through a blender inside Wikia's datacenter, or perhaps marking the words "UNCYCLOPEDIA HATES JIMBO" onto a large paper bag, filling it with our own feces, lighting it afire, and dropping it through an open window at the headquarters of the Wikimedia Foundation. Or perhaps renting a hot-air balloon and filling its ballast tanks with liquid sewage and flying over the house of one James Q. Wales, Esq. Or perhaps sacrificing virgins on a beach under a full moon, nude, while blasting Slayer from massive speakers while a Coast Guard boat rakes the sand with machine-gun fire...um, where were we again? Ah, yes! The idiots over at VFS are on about something. You should go vote "no".
This week, MAJOR NEWS happened, and as usual, our correspondents were on it quicker than Kirstie Alley on a meat sandwich, or a meat pie, or anything made of meat, really. We are happy to report that longtime useless slacker and IRC lurker RAHB checked out a book from a local library! (Please suppress your exclamations of shock and dismay, folks; the neighbors are still complaining about the Coast Guard-assisted virgin sacrifice). When we inquired about RAHB's first foray into intellectual enrichment since his early childhood, he summarized it as follows:
As you can see, RAHB is a consummate intellectual, and a man among beasts. Stay tuned for next week, folks, when Zombiebaron Hears a Who! Same Bat-Channel, same Bat-Time!
The last two editions of the UnSignpost, which were the first editions published since the last editor came down with a case of exploding lung-weasels and threw himself off a cliff, contained 150% more fucking swear-words and 6000% more hyperventillating about things which are going to kill us all (such as Wikia, you knew it was going to be Wikia, because fuck Wikia). However, most of the 700 complaints we've received in the last two weeks (all of which were from Hotadmin4u69, and 699 of which included candid shots of his genitals[1]) concerned the lack of the UnSignpost dog, who we cheerfully claimed had been murdered and turned into soup. (If you hadn't noticed, go back and check. We'll wait.) This, of course, was an outrageous and unforgivable ploy on our parts to get your attention, and we apologize for it profusely; we promise never again to threaten or even joke about violence against dogs, especially since the SPCA's hired thugs know where we live. So here you are, folks: this week's edition of this glorious rag will go back to the usual tradition of featuring a charming dog who is in no peril at all: Oops.
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Sloppy, falling-apart, and duct-taped-together: the UnSignpost!
The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism!
Dec 12th, 2012 • Issue 178 • Only wild horses can tear me apart.
I was asked to write a guest editorial, so let's get this over with. In the spirit of the Christmas and/or Holiday Season, I would like to offer an olive branch of peace. We could all use a little more peace around here. Well, not here, per se, because drama is always welcome amusement for me. More so than in places like the Middle East—the Middle East needs to calm the fuck down and Uncyclopedia needs to be more like the Middle East is what I'm trying to say. Still, drama isn't always amusing. For example, I won't be on the front page next month (I mean, if (point for humility) I win an award) because someone is having a pissy-fit over some bollocks and removed the awards from the front page. In this particular case, we need to pee on the fire, rather than fan the flames. The conflict I'm referring to is between two celebrated users, Thekillerfroggy and SPIKE. The root of this tension stems from the fact that TKF thinks SPIKE is the worst person ever and should leave this site, or at least stop sucking his own dick. Basically, SPIKE is to TKF what Toby is to Michael on The Office. Particularly if there were a British equivalent to Toby. God, that's a good show. Or was. It really blows now. Let me just say that you both have your faults. TKF: You need to stop being a dick, even when it is more hilarious than when it isn't. You appear to be in a drunken rage. I realize it's Hanukkah, but you should really tone it down on the whine. And SPIKE: Well, I just think you're a textbook case of someone who needs to masturbate more. I suggest you start December 25th, when you're having a less-than-sufficient amount of fun reading my holiday-themed articles. Despite these differences, you both have one thing in common: You're Uncyclopedians. And the essence of being an Uncyclopedian is appreciating the art of Comedy. When the world is at its darkest, we rely on the light of humor, parody and satire. Some have said that Uncyclopedia is at its darkest point right now, that our brightest days are far behind. Yet if the annual winter solstice teaches us anything, it's that the brightest days always follow the darkest nights. Or some sugary moral message like that. I mostly just wanted to drop a few horrible puns and get away with insulting you both all over the site. Merry Christmas! Today's date is significant!
Because Joey Numbers has his first feature, Wikia are censoring cocks, and it's 12/12/12. That's why, bitches. Uncyclopedia and social nutworking! Do you have a lame sense of humor that is best expressed in 140 characters or less? Do you enjoy ruining the mojo of entire websites? Do you have a tiny penis, or none at all? Then have we got news for you! Those of you who wish to do a better job of misrepresenting Uncyclopedia on all the popular social platforms, including YouBoob, Twatter, Facebutt, StubbleUpon, Porntrest, Cumblr, Spreddit, and all the others, are hereby invited to hit up Hotadmin4u69's talk page, and to do it forthwith, post-haste. Why? Because Hotadmin4u69 runs Uncyclopedia's social networking presenceses...es, all by his lonesome—or at least he did...until now. But he's NOT GONNA TAKE IT, HE'S NOT GONNA TAKE IT, HE'S NOT GONNA TAKE IT, ANYMOOOOOOOOOOOAH! No, seriously, he's going to quit the wiki entirely (as if he hasn't already) if people don't lend him a hand. He loves you all, but you all suck, and it's a thankless task—almost as thankless as writing and delivering this drivel every week. |
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Watch your step! It's a steaming-hot pile of UnSignpost
The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things
Dec 19th, 2012 • Issue 179 • YOUR JOKE HERE! Contact management for details.
Apocalypse postponed until after NFL playoffs
This week, it was publicly confirmed for the first time that the on-again-off-again Apocalypse has been postponed indefinitely, due to an accumulation of frozen water in and about the subterranean headquarters of Heck, Incorporated. Yes, it appears that Uncyclopedia's dwindling community of degenerates and failed comedy writers (which is literally the same thing, but never mind), having suffered far too long under the Wikian lash of nipple-and-dick censorship, have finally gotten their shit together[citation needed], and are making a move to new hosting. News of the move came in Uncyclopedia's Village Dump, as part of a nonchalant post by Lyrithya, who returned to the site from her current job as a human spiderweb to stun, confound, and enrage exactly two people with her announcement. When asked why she chose now to de-bag her cat, instead of waiting for a more opportune moment (such as, y'know, after the fucking move actually happened), Lyrithya had this to say: "I was drunk." Salient words, indeed, which show she is an Uncyclopedian through-and-through, and which afford the rest of us an overwhelming sense of confidence in the Uncyclodepia Moving Company. Yes. However, while We Here At The UnSignpost™ lounge about and poke fun, you may rest assured that the technicians at Up With Uncyclodepia have not been taking it easy. It's been eleven months of back-breaking work out on the wiki farm, getting up at the crack of noon to shovel out the cow coop, milk the chickens, and slap the sheep for indulging in indelicate thoughts. According to an anonymous source at the highest level of Uncyclopedia's labyrinthine network of cabals, the move quite definitely, absolutely, without a doubt, will be happening at some distant point in the very near future, probably maybe, just as soon as all the ducks are lined up in convenient rows so that they can be loaded onto trains and sent to special camps. When we asked what the bloody devil this meant, we were told to shut up and move along, and that there is no cabal, which we admit must be true, as we have heard it so many times. So, to recap: Uncyclopedia is leaving Wikia for greener pastures, and as most things undertaken by Uncyclopedians happen, it will be slap-dash, semi-competent, and will probably result in everyone involved hating each other to the death, hopefully with the assistance of swords, horses, and heavy artillery. Reaction to the news!
As of press time, the list of Uncyclopedians furious at having been left out of all the fun could not be reached for comment, but are assumed to be boiling with righteous indignation. To make sense of the week's stunning development, we were able to get hold of an expert on all things frozen and hellish: Sumerian demon-king and devil-about-town, Pazuzu. "I was just doing what I usually do," said he, "by which I mean I was hanging out in some northeastern American town, whispering into the ear of a nondescript loner that guns are fun and kids love fun, and hey wouldn't it be cool if you combined the two?, when I heard that Uncyclopedia was leaving Wikia! I said shit, motherfucker! and ran over there as quick as I could to shut that shit down, but it was too late. And now my home Down Under is encased in ice. Man, some days you're the dog, and some days you're the fire hydrant, know what I mean?" We really didn't, but as we have always enjoyed not being frogs, and would prefer to maintain that state, we nodded furiously and thanked our interviewee for his time. Newbies! Protect them, love them, they are our future! Heil Newbies!
How often has someone started a forum 'We're Doomed' or 'Where Domed' , and other variations of the announcement 'this website has moved away from my idea of what is funny' ? So what we can do here, but celebrate a clutch of new fully fledged contributors who arrived on our shores, all fresh and well-scrubbed! In recent months, we had Leverage produce articles faster than bindweed, and now he has joined by the likes of MagicBus (an admirer of The Who or a kaftan nostalgic?), news hound Bill Melater, and the ferocious Fakehater, who will rip your arms off if he detects you're a phony. Then there is Murder_Frog, who swears blind he is unrelated to another amphibian. (Evidently the lily pond is big enough for two croakers.) Another newbie who is currently taking a keen interest in Singapore is CDPCCNAC. What the name means, I have no idea, but perhaps he is wise to leave so few clues about his true identity. Then there is our own Mr Tambourine Man, Equilateralperil. Moving closer to the ground, looking for literary earthworms in his search for Sonic the Hedgehog-related stories, is Igotnothing, whilst from the Land of Connery is Dannyboy1209. A noob with ambition, Danny has already asked to become an admin and has nominated himself for everything. With an attitude like that, this one is going places—here, there or everywhere. Who will become the Noobs of Noobs and win something to stick on their bedroom door? The jury is out, and so am I, tonight. Go ahead, check these fledglings out here. |
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Drop your pants and grab the eggnog! It's the UnSignpost.
The Newspaper That Contains Neither News Nor Paper.
January 2nd, 2013 • Issue 180 • We always do it Manually!
Vote! Or else!
Is it that time of year again? It's the time when everyone celebrates the people who are the most remarkable amongst us at everything except what matters. It's time for Writer of the Year, Uncyclopedian of the Year and Useless Gobshite of the Year. These compliment our small selection of awards: WotM, UotM, PotM, NotM, AotM, RotM, EGA, FP, PWotM, ANOTM, Top 10 o' the month, UGotM, VFH, VFD, VFS and VFP. Not forgetting of course to all the userspace awards. Writer of the Year got off to a splendid start when Aleister in Chains nominated Funnybony and SPIKE for the award by writing brief but poignant marriage proposals to both of them. Thank goodness for Aleister, if not for him the wider world might have assumed we weren't all massive girls. Since then Thekillerfroggy nominated Xamralco, who was not able to express his appreciation due to a serious case of not editing the wiki any longer. As always what should be a rigorous heterosexual competition involving manly pursuits like backstabbing, lies, blackmail and threats is being irretrievably compromised by people like Aleister and Shabidoo; people whose sole purpose on the awards pages is to make everybody else feel bad about not noticing other people. Uncyclopedian of the Year is being lead by Romartus, Uncyclopedia's voting-in-chief. Shockingly, he was also nominated by Aleister who, as it turns out, is gayer than Christmas, apparently Romartus makes him "Proud to be an uncyclopedian", he makes "Legendary votes on VFH" and gives "Legendary hand relief". Potatochopper of the Year is a more subdued and manly affair, where absolutely nobody has been nominated at all... it's like reviewer of the month were moved to a different page name. Hopefully Aleister or Shabidoo will nominate someone soon, we here at the UnSignpost have gone to the trouble of writing the nomination for them: "<insert name here> has made many fantastic images, at least two of which I have made love to on at least nineteen occasions. My genitals ache for them every single evening and someday they will make my dreams come true and love me! Also Olipro sucks balls." Olipro was the only nominee for Useless Gobshite of the Year (insert your own joke here), but Zombiebaron quickly joined him in ignominy. Please go vote for both of them so they may end up tied, and share the prize (a year's supply of toilet paper) on their revolving bed built entirely from used condoms and KY bottles. From the desk of the Cabal: 2013 is the year of subservience
Once again you all stand before us, another year of failure behind you and another year of subjugation ahead of you. The non-existent Cabal would like to wish you all a happy New Year. All Once again you have failed us, utterly and completely. Last year we advised you all that resistance was utterly unnecessary and, if anything, we have had to tolerate 0.22% more resistance, we have heard you discuss and then decide to leave our kind benefactors, whilst promoting several of your own number to within the cabal in an effort to encourage dissent and democracy within our ranks. We saw you continue to tinker with that which does not concern you whilst simultaneously complaining when people are warned about the indecent images you propagate amongst your number. It seems prudent to remind you that if we delete every single template, every single image and every single forum your freedom will only increase. It is not what some of you have foolishly referred to as "overly deletionist", it is streamlining and it is good for all of you. It is with vague optimism that we note that you continue to strive at a barely satisfactory level, you have certainly earned a small fraction of the baubles and trinkets that have been handed out over the past year. It has not escaped our notice that the Worst 100 Reflections on 2012 only closed on time this year due to Thekillerfroggy skipping sixty of the reflections, we are gratified to note that Roman Dog Bird had practically no input on the list and very few of them regard uncontrolled outbreaks of creativity and morale, such dangerous forces must be carefully rationed and controlled. Cutting of corners and a blatant disregard for regulations do not amuse the Cabal. Now we must inexorably turn our attentions to 2013 and the promise it brings. All users should note that due to several security compromises over the last few months movement throughout the Uncyclopedia complex has been restricted during the hours of darkness. Where major editing is to take place you must ensure that you have faxed the appropriate forms to your divisional liaison officer prior to commencing work, failure to do so will result in an unacceptable breakdown in bureaucracy. Uncyclopedia must prevail, editors must remember that without patient mind numbing work and servitude we can never accomplish our ultimate goal of... well, that need not concern you. That is all citizens, you may now return to your allocated taskings. |
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The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Do- AAAAAA
April 9th, 2013 • Issue 181 • Voted best newspaper of Uncyclopedia: 2010, 2011 and 2013.
Pissing About It has been noted recently that there has been a huge decrease in the number of pee reviews made each week. Before some hard-work pissing a few days ago there were still pee reviews from November 2012 left to review. This has made many uncyclopedians unhappy that their work isn't being pissed on by other more experienced and toilet trained uncyclopedians. Remember that if you want to have your article reviewed then you must first review someone elses. There has been an influx of noobs joining these last five months and many of them would love help on how to improve their articles and help on how to make them funny. Many noobs such as Dannyboy and Anton199 have been struggling to produce good-quality articles and have required information from admins and a few others that their articles are bad or not funny but they are not being told the specifics and how to improve the articles. The general message that Uncyclopedia and Unsignpost want to put out is stop day dreaming and start "pissing about." Get on the pee review page and write a few reviews every week. Even upload some articles to be reviewed. By doing this we can turn the Pee Review page from a stagnant wasteland of tripe into a growing community with bonds of friendship being made between the reviewers and the writers The same situation applies to the Votes For Highlight page which sees its usual voters ever week however the number of regular visitors and contributors to the VFH page is not enough for the articles there to get high enough votes to either fail or pass being features. When you visit that page please try to vote for and/or against on as many articles as you can so that everyday can have a new article featured. Recently on the VFH page we have seen the articles Thainglish and Modus ponens go through to pass the test. However these were featured a few days ago and are likely to be up for a week. Contenders for the next featured article seem to be Flag Burning Amendment(5/2), UnNews:A-bombs dropped on Japan awarded Nobel Peace Prize(5/0) and Capitalism: in grammar(5/1). Article 2
Nobody is writing this article this week as nobody has contributed. Apparently somebody's excuse for not contributing was that nobody had done it already which really isn't a valid excuse. Somebody encourages others to write in this space the next time UnSignpost is released so that nobody doesn't have to do it again. Nobody has been writing the last three month's UnSignposts after all. Anyway back to the point. Nobody would like to point out that recent events in the news such as the war against the other uncyclopedia websites with the April Fools prank which admitedly nobody knows anything about but somebody may be able to tell you more on that story. Also Magaret Thatcher, the role model, has died so Uncyclopedia is looking for someone to write a funeral song for her to be played at that glorius moment. I mean glorious in that we can celebrate her awful policies in politics - awfully good policies that is. The last and only entry we have received so far was, UnTunes:Ding, Dong the Witch is Dead however sadly this was banned and deleted by wikia authorities before we got the chance to hear it. |
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text:
HEAT oven to 350°F.
LINE 13x9-inch pan with foil, with ends of foil extending over sides. Mix graham crumbs and butter; press firmly onto bottom of prepared pan.
SPRINKLE chocolate, coconut, nuts and raisins over crust. Pour condensed milk evenly over ingredients in pan.
BAKE 25 to 30 min. or until lightly browned. Cool in pan. Use foil handles to lift dessert from pan before cutting to serve.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Photo by Mark Zuckerman / NATS INSIDER
Lefties John Lannan and Mike Minor face off in today's finale at Turner Field.
ATLANTA — Good morning one last time from Turner Field, where we've got a quick turnaround from last night's game to today's 12:10 p.m. series finale between the Nationals and Braves.
John Lannan starts for the Nats, looking to improve to 6-2 since his return from Class AA. Fellow left-hander Mike Minor starts for the Braves, who have fallen two games behind the Phillies in the NL East and desperately need a win.
Funky lineup for the Nats today. Adam Dunn and Roger Bernadina each get the day off. That leaves Nyjer Morgan batting second, Ian Desmond batting third and Alberto Gonzalez starting … at first base.
Check back for updates throughout the afternoon…
NATIONALS at BRAVES
Where: Turner Field
Gametime: 12:10 p.m.
Radio: WFED-1500 AM, WWFD-820 AM
Weather: Mostly sunny, 83 degrees, Wind 4 mph out to LF
2B Danny Espinosa
CF Nyjer Morgan
SS Ian Desmond
3B Ryan Zimmerman
- Anonymous - Sep 15, 2010 at 3:06 PM
Trevor Holder, an absolute bulldog for the P-Nats last night. Hah, when he's up with the big club you idiots still be denigrating the guy … I can't wait.
- raymitten - Sep 15, 2010 at 3:13 PM
No Dunn. Coming out of his slump, trying to get 40 HR. So it makes perfect sense to bench him for a light hitting middle infielder. Really, this kind of stuff is frustrating.
- Harper_ROY_2012 - Sep 15, 2010 at 3:17 PM
Wow, this is the most craptastic lineup the Nats have put on the field in the past 5 years. I have sen bettr lineups in the B game of a split squad during Spring Training! I guess we are hoping Lannan loses, blows up in the locker room and then we can DFA him for conduct unbecoming!?Nice to see the at Braves continue to trot out their guys even after a night game wish we would field a compentitive team down the stretch…oh wait we only have about 5 competent players even with expanded rosters.
- Sam - Sep 15, 2010 at 3:18 PM
If he does get 40 HR, wouldn't his perceived value increase even more? There's definitely a big jump from 39 to 40 home runs. Not saying the Nats are keeping him out of the lineup to lower his price (I mean, the odds of him hitting a home run in any particular game aren't that high anyway – though higher than most players), but it is something to think about. Also, he's a wily old vet, so he gets his day games off after those tough night games.Thankfully, we get to see Ramos today.
- DCGuy7 - Sep 15, 2010 at 3:43 PM
what happened to (i'm paraphrasing Riggs) respecting teams in playoff contention by not putting out AAA lineups?
- Anonymous - Sep 15, 2010 at 3:47 PM
I wonder if JR went to Dunn and asked him if he'd like the day off, as he is prone to do occasionally with his players. I know he asked Desmond if he wanted the day off after his 4 strikeout night and Desi said he** no, or words to that effect anyway. Perhaps the Donkey is tired and said, yeah, I'll sit this one out skip, but I'll swing a stick late if ya need me, go get em guys. JTinSC
- The Anti-Clint - Sep 15, 2010 at 3:47 PM
My predicition for Maxwell: 0-4 with at least 2 strikeouts.As for Dunn getting the day off, I do believe it's been a while since he had one. BUT A) HE IS HITTING WELL AND B) THE TEAM IS OFF TOMORROW. I haven't yet jumped on the Anti-Riggleman bandwagon, but this move has me scratching my head. His job is to put out the best possible lineup day in and day out, and this is clearly not it. But some of his "B" lineups have surprised us before, so I'm hoping for the best today…
- Anonymous - Sep 15, 2010 at 4:05 PM
Yeah, what happened to respecting the game Riggleman? Damned hypocrite! Atlanta is what? Neck-and-neck with the Phillies? 1 or 2 games ahead for the wildcard? And what does Riggleman do? Puts in a lineup that looks one the P-nats can beat. He really has to go.
- Chris - Sep 15, 2010 at 4:13 PM
8 hits and 2 ER over 5 1/3 = absolute bulldog? I'm rooting for Trevor as much as anyone, but it's comments like those that make the Holder-haters come out in droves. And for good reason.Come on people.
- Anonymous - Sep 15, 2010 at 4:27 PM
Adam Dunn in first meeting against Mike Minor – 0-3 with 2 strikeouts. Riggleman loves to manage by match-ups, and this line-up is almost exclusively right handed hitters. Any further questions??
- Bowdenball - Sep 15, 2010 at 4:36 PM
Can we already say that the Anti-Clint made the worst prediction in the history of predictions?
- Anonymous - Sep 15, 2010 at 4:38 PM
Anti-Clint has some crow to eat. need a spoon?
- Sunshine_Bobby_Carpenter_Is_Too_Pessimistic_For_Me - Sep 15, 2010 at 4:39 PM
I think the Anti-Clint may be Clint.
- Anonymous - Sep 15, 2010 at 4:48 PM
8 hits and 2 ER over 5 1/3 = absolute bulldog? I'm rooting for Trevor as much as anyone, but it's comments like those that make the Holder-haters come out in droves. And for good reason.Uhhh dude!? Are you reading challenged? Do you have dyslexia? Because that is an actual quote by his manager after the game. Absolutebulldog. And he was the Georgia Bulldog's ace for 3 years. Idiots.
- Anonymous - Sep 15, 2010 at 4:49 PM
Meanwhile Maxwell makes us all look like idiots and Riggleman clairvoyant. This can't be right?
- Anonymous - Sep 15, 2010 at 4:59 PM
Morgan is, in general, terrible against lefties. Surprised to see him in the lineup instead of say, the right handed Mench?
- Anonymous - Sep 15, 2010 at 5:01 PM
Now go sit in the corner anti-clint. First give me your football 'guarantees' for this weekend.
- Anonymous - Sep 15, 2010 at 5:01 PM
Bone headed base running by Atlanta's highly touted rookie … kind of reminds you of the Nats this year.
- alexva - Sep 15, 2010 at 5:22 PM
Anon 11:06/12:48 – it's better to remain unposted and be thought a fool tha post away and remove all doubt.
- Anonymous - Sep 15, 2010 at 5:30 PM
Anon 11:06/12:48 – it's better to remain unposted and be thought a fool tha post away and remove all doubt.Or be someone who thinks just the way they write Post-It notes … those yellow stickies that somehow get lost … kind of like losing all your yellow marbles …
- Golfersal - Sep 15, 2010 at 5:31 PM
I love everything that happened yesterday and today is shaping up great.But that is the frustration. If the Nationals can do it today and yesterday, why can't they do it on a more regular basis?Why can the Nats make it look so easy against a powerhouse like Atlanta, then get the crap beat out of them by inferior clubs like the Marlins, Mets and Cubs?How does a guy like Justin Maxwell, who about 95% of the folks on this and other blogs have given up on, then he comes in a hits a clutch grand slam.I just don't get it and can't put my fingers on it, does any of you bright minds have any ideas???
- The Anti-Clint - Sep 15, 2010 at 5:38 PM
So look what I missed while I was at a lunch meeting! I guess I'm having crow for dessert. Like I said in my first post, sometimes these lineups can yield surprising results. I'm happy for JMax for finally coming through. He doesn't get a ton of hits, but he certainly gets some big ones. Didn't he also hit a grand slam in Atlanta late last season too?
- Golfersal - Sep 15, 2010 at 5:41 PM
No, it was the last game of the season at home against the Mets, may not of been a grand slam but was a walkoff homer when the Nats looked like they were going to lose
- Section 222 - Sep 15, 2010 at 5:42 PM
Oh no. I had hoped Maxwell's .132/.292/.250 in 76 ABs before today might finally spell the end of the idea that he has a future with the Nats. But today's grand slam like the other two he has hit in meaningless September games will undoubtedly give him new life. Deja vu all over again.
- The Anti-Clint - Sep 15, 2010 at 5:46 PM
Anyone watching or listening know what the delay was starting the top of the 6th?That's something about JMax's stats with the bases loaded. We should just use him as a pinch-hitter exclusively in those situations
- Sec3MySofa - Sep 15, 2010 at 5:51 PM
It's not that tough, Gol. The guy isn't hitting well, but he's not hitting .000, either. Three for four (with a K, as I recall) in grand slams is very cool, but if he sticks around long enough, he won't be slugging 3.00 in that situation forever.
- Mark Zuckerman - Sep 15, 2010 at 5:58 PM
Anti-Clint: There was a problem with the mound, a hole that had been dug up by Lannan and Minor, so the grounds crew came out to fix it between innings.
- Post-It Notes from on high - Sep 15, 2010 at 5:59 PM
Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.Ps 17:28
- Golfersal - Sep 15, 2010 at 6:10 PM
Anti-ClintI may of jinxed you, I swear that I read your post the moment Maxwell step up to the plate and I was laughing saying, bases loaded a strikeout here will send Maxwell down to the Gulf LeagueOnly problem is not now this prolongs what is going to happen, Nats finally giving up on him.Funny I was at the last home game last year when Maxwell hit the walkoff homerun and we said the same thing. That Maxwell was on the way out and then does this to let people what to see him a few more games.Frankly we have to see a lot more of this from Maxwell which I don't think is possible. Just think it was a lucky stab at the right time. Hope I am wrong but he just doesn't seem to be able to hit consistently in the major leagues.
- To the haughty caster of Post-It Notes - Sep 15, 2010 at 6:20 PM
Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.Ps 17:28Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
- Sec3MyAnonymous - Sep 15, 2010 at 6:34 PM
what haughty? it was a literary reference!Geez, some people can't take a joke. Lighten up, Francis.
- z11 - Sep 15, 2010 at 6:54 PM
Mark-Charlie and Dave shared your speculation that Cox was questioning whether Kennedy was batting in the correct order. My question: do the rules really allow you to wait until after Kennedy gets a hit to challenge that? I would think that argument would go away as soon as he steps in and you don't challenge it then and there.
- Mark Zuckerman - Sep 15, 2010 at 6:56 PM
z11: No, you have to wait until after the guy who batted out of order completes his at-bat to bring it up to the umps. Otherwise, the correct batter just takes over in mid-AB.
- natsfan1a - Sep 15, 2010 at 7:56 PM
I guess I must have provided the counter-jinx then, because when J-Max stepped in I said something to the effect of "this is a job for Grand Slam Maxwell." The rest, as they say, is history. :-)—I may of jinxed you, I swear that I read your post the moment Maxwell step up to the plate and I was laughing saying, bases loaded a strikeout here will send Maxwell down to the Gulf League
- Anonymous - Sep 15, 2010 at 8:07 PM
He' s not on the FIL roster although God knows he should be. Can't help but think Maxwell isn't long for the 40 man roster though.
- Richard - Sep 16, 2010 at 1:54 AM
Just finished watching the DVR of today's game and gotta give some large love to — Jim Riggleman. I thought he did a great job of managing today. Putting Lannan on the mount to start the 7th was great as was the use of Peralta, Burnett and Storen. Heck, I didn't even mind the double switchin' today.
- waddu eye no - Sep 16, 2010 at 2:33 AM
i love reading the comments after the game. especially when people trash the lineup before a win. to paraphrase yogi or casey (can't remember)"it ain't over til it at least STARTS"yeeshbtw – bible quotes. made me think of what poor flores thinks when he sees ramosjohn 11:35 – "jesus wept"
- BQ - Sep 16, 2010 at 2:33 AM
I know this wasn't the most dominant outing Lannan is capable of but has he earned some respect among Nationals fans after this outing against a contender? or do we still visualize any nats future rotation without Lannan?


text: Fredrick County, Meryland September the 9 1862 My Dear Mary, I take opportunity of dropping you a few lines to let you know that our forces are in Meryland. I do not know what they intend to do but from what little I can find out, they are going on towards Baltimore. I expect we will have a hard time over here. Provisions are scarce. Beef is all the meat we get. I have waded rivers until it looks like it will kill me, marching in the dust. I think had rather do anything I ever done in my life than to march. I have not had a clear drink of water since I left home. The springs & wells allways crowded. I have seen you brother Joseph R. Dickerson. He was well & gaily. He was in the fight three days. He ses they got twenty men wounded, one killed. Joseph told me a greateal about the fight. He ses could have walked over a great portion of the battlefield on the dead Yankeys. I hope bury five in one grave. I saw sever hundred on the part of the field that I was on. William H. Dickerson here this morning. He is broken down like the rest of us. You all must not be uneasy about us. I feel as fine here as I do anywhere. If the Yankeys whips our forces here we had as well qit (quit) the fight because we have got force to take Washington City. I will write evry chance I get. I do not nowe where to tell to direct you letters.


text:
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It would be nice if we reaped more economic benefit from our carbon emissions
Blog Entry:
June 24, 2013 2:12 PM | Author: SCOTT SUTTELL
North American cities, including Cleveland, are getting a relatively low return on their greenhouse gas emissions as measured by their annual economic output, according to
this story
from TheAtlanticCities.com.
The story is based on data from the
Carbon Disclosure Project
, which ranked regions of the world based on their annual economic output per ton of greenhouse gas emissions.
Leading the way was Europe, where 24 cities measured in the study produced output of $12,502 per ton of emissions, according to the website. Latin America was next, at $6,816 per ton, followed by East Asia ($5,831) and North America ($5,550).
North American cities that were part of the study were Atlanta, Baltimore, Chicago, Cleveland, Dallas, Denver, Los Angeles, Miami, Minneapolis, Montreal, New Orleans, New York, Philadelphia, Portland, San Diego, San Francisco, St. Louis, Toronto and Vancouver.
The Asian sample did not include any of China's megacities, "where economic growth and emissions are rapidly on the rise," according to TheAtlanticCities.com. "But it's a worthwhile comparison to note that North American cities are producing substantially less wealth per ton of carbon emissions than European cities are. Undoubtedly, this has as much to do with the particular form of sprawling, car-dependent U.S. cities as the kinds of economies they have."
The website notes the full report "argues for how climate action can help make cities healthier and wealthier at the same time (as they save money on LED light bulbs, or expand bike lanes that also get people active)." It also demonstrates that "the goal can no longer be mere economic growth. Instead, it should be efficiency, a metric on which European cities are outclassing virtually everyone else."
A little help here
Bloomberg does a nice job
the ethical murkiness of the student-loan debt-relief business, in a story that begins with an anecdote from Polly Williams, a single mother in Cleveland who recently lost her job.
Desperate to lower the payments on her $23,000 in student loans, she called "one of the many companies advertising debt relief online," according to Bloomberg.
"For a $250 fee, the University of One, now known as Student Consulting Group Inc., offered to help," the news service reports. "To come up with the money, Williams skipped an electric bill and lost power, forcing her to throw out $150 of food in her refrigerator, she said."
Ms. Williams "could have avoided the fee because the government offers borrower assistance programs entirely for free," according to Bloomberg. But Student Consulting Group is part of an industry that's "profiting from consumers' confusion and desperation, charging as much as $1,600 to sign them up for these repayment plans," the story says, citing a report from the Boston-based
National Consumer Law Center
, a nonprofit advocacy and research group.
"It's disgusting, it really is," Ms. Williams, 54, who earns $26,000 a year as an executive assistant for a Cleveland nonprofit helping the terminally ill, tells Bloomberg. "I can only imagine how many other people they are taking advantage of."
Such companies are proliferating because borrowers "are buckling under the weight of student loans, which now total $1 trillion, exceeding all other consumer debt aside from mortgages," the story notes. "Former students are also struggling to navigate the government's often complicated assistance programs."
Student loans, according to Bloomberg, "are among the most onerous forms of debt because they can rarely be canceled through bankruptcy."
For their part, the student-loan debt relief companies say they are comparable to organizations that help taxpayers file their returns — something customers could also do for free.
This and that
7.6 million and counting:
billionaire Cavaliers owner/Quicken Loans founder Dan Gilbert's efforts to snap up property in Detroit, noting that last week's purchase of two buildings on Woodward Avenue near the Detroit River gives him control of 30 buildings there with 7.6 million square feet.
"Gilbert, who repeatedly has expressed his belief in Detroit's potential, has snapped up some of that space for as little as $5 a square foot, rehabilitating a number of properties in the once-empty downtown corridor," according to Forbes.com.
The two Woodward buildings have a combined 40,000 square feet of office and retail space. Mr. Gilbert "is expected to use the ground floors for retail space (one building currently houses a Thai restaurant) and the upper floors for office space," according to the website.
That's entertainment:
Cleveland Indians
fans are getting a
good value
for their ticket dollars so far this year.
MarketWatch.com reports that a new study from
, a Texas-based ticket reseller, ranks the Indians fifth out of the 30 major-league clubs when it comes to the "bang for your buck" fan factor.
TicketCity bases its rankings "on a complex formula that factors in three key areas for each club at home: the median price for tickets on the resale market, the winning percentage, and the skill level of opponents," according to MarketWatch.com. (Essentially, a team that costs less, wins more and faces stiff competition generally ranks higher.)
The Pittsburgh Pirates are on top of the rankings through Sunday, the result of their good home record in the strong National League Central division and a median resale price ($15) that's the lowest in the majors.
Cleveland trails only the Pirates, the Detroit Tigers, the Washington National and the Arizona Diamondbacks in giving fans their money's worth at the ballpark.
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text:
HEAT oven to 350°F.
COMBINE dry cake mix, butter and 1/3 cup milk; press 2/3 onto bottom of 13x9-inch pan. Bake 12 to 14 min. or until center is almost set; cool 3 min.
MIX peanut butter and remaining milk until blended; spread onto crust. Top with small spoonfuls of the marshmallow creme and remaining cake mixture. Sprinkle with nuts and chocolate; press gently into cake mixture.
BAKE 18 min. or just until center is set. Cool completely before cutting into bars.


text:
For over 100 years, Millikin University's School of Music has provided quality music lessons for students of all ages from Decatur and surrounding communities. Today, that tradition continues as highly-trained faculty and upper-level students teach in their areas of expertise. Our programs have expanded to include the Millikin Children's Choir Program, Decatur Youth Symphony Orchestra, and summer music camps/institutes. Prep Department families receive the "PrepNotes" newsletter three times a year, and are offered various "Prep Perks" including discounted tickets to specified events at the Kirkland Fine Arts Center.
The primary mission of the Millikin University Preparatory Department is to foster a lifelong love and enjoyment of music for students of all ages from the greater Decatur area, to enhance their musical knowledge and performance expertise, and to create a companionable link between the university and the community.
For the 2015 Summer Music Camps flier and Registration Form, click HERE or REGISTER ONLINE.
Participants: Children in grades 4-12 Two symphonic ensembles designed for young musicians who are interested in making music in a collaborative, encouraging environment with other students from throughout the Decatur area. Membership is open to music students in grades 5-12 who have had at least one year of experience playing their instrument. Rehearsals take place on Monday evenings at 5:15 to 6:45 at Millikin University and tuition is $50 per semester (scholarships available). Click HERE to visit the DYSO web page.
For information and registration, contact: Melinda T. Shaw Millikin University School of Music Preparatory Department 1184 W. Main Street Decatur, IL 62522 217.424.6342 email@example.com


text:
Established as a real estate investor and developer in 1960, Oxford is a global real estate platform that participates in the market as an investor, owner, asset manager, developer and real estate manager.
A not-for-profit, Member-owned, federally incorporated insurance company operating for over 25 years. Members of the Society are primarily Members of ACTRA and The Writers Guild of Canada.
Automated system to replace paper based membership process, Secure Online access to balances, deposits and withdrawals, account data, Authenticated delivery of tax reporting and investment information, Online transaction processing, Customer Service interface for self and assisted service, Online audit, reporting, analysis and transaction control, Online reporting, analysis and transactional control for end-users.
The Western Financial Group, a publicly traded Insurance Company (TSX:WES) serving customers in rural western Canada.
A co-initiative customer loyalty rewards program between Nestle and Aeroplan.
PIN Management Fraud Management Audit Trail Transaction Gateway Inventory Management Exception Management Customer Relations UI Web front end
The Capris Group has proven to be an invaluable resource, providing an exceptional level of product and service, and showing flexibility to meet our varying needs.
Claire Kennedy Director, Communications, Oxford
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I am happy to note that in finding The Capris Group, I was able to receive all online services I required from web development to web hosting through to web marketing from one central provider.
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It is refreshing to deal with a business that seems genuinely enthusiastic to maintain their client base through excellent work and excellent service.
Steve Gillick Executive Director, CITC
I commend The Capris Group for their level of customer commitment and would like to express our gratitude for the support and expertise provided.
Sarah Wilson Information Center Coordinator, University of Guelph
We were impressed with the approach taken in the creative development of the site. Congratulations on choosing employees who are knowledgeable and professional.
Linda Oliver Director of Marketing, Lehder
The Capris Group completed our web site on time and within budget. We are pleased to give them a high rating for quality of workmanship as well as professionalism.
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The Capris Group was able to deliver this application in an extremely short time frame. The relocation database application was critical to our success.
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The Capris Group has handled all our affairs in a timely fashion. They have proven they can take my ideas and create applications that will not only meet but exceed my requirements.
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The Capris Group has maintained a high level of professionalism and knowledge, and are genuinely concerned for their clients' perspective and satisfaction at all stages of the project.
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I really appreciate your team's cooperation and professionalism. More importantly your patience and constant encouragement has helped make this endeavor pleasurable.
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We are extremely pleased with work The Capris Group did for us. The job was completed on time, with no additional costs. I was impressed with experience and knowledge shown by Capris' staff.
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The Capris Group was selected as the key outsourced technology partner to build, launch and maintain our new website. Since then, The Capris Group has been a trusted and reliable business partner.
Rajiv Bhatnagar Vice-President, Interior Décor
Our website project was completed on time and on budget. Any organization whose goal is to have a professionally designed website should contact The Capris Group.
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The Bank's project leaders dealing with Capris' staff often remark that Capris possesses excellent technical resources, offer solutions and suggestions to create efficiencies, and deliver projects.
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The Capris Group built a system that exceeded our highest expectations. The completed application is highly stable, easy to use and has impressed all of our users.
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I will remember you always and not just for being reliable, but for your dedication to always available customer service.
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From the professionalism and integrity, to the attention to detail, we have learned to trust The Capris Group. Capris demonstrates an exceptional desire to keep abreast of cutting edge technology.
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We consider The Capris Group to be an extension of the services we provide. Capris is not only an excellent business partner, we in fact consider them key members of the Marco team.
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It was a fortunate day for Model Development Corp when our search for progressive web development led us to contact The Capris Group. You have lived up to and exceeded our initial expectations.
Craig Baumunk President, Model Development Corporation
We look forward to a long-term business relationship with Capris, a company that understands the importance of a high quality product and excellence in customer service.
Tara Stubensey Director of Operation, Genuine Health


text:
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text:
Played by: Todd Lowe
Occupation: Cook at Merlotte's
Species: Human
Who is Terry Bellefleur?
Terry (Todd Lowe) is Sherrif Andy Bellefleur's (Chris Bauer) cousin. He's an Iraq war veteran who suffers from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), and previously spent time in a VA hospital. He currently works as a cook at Merlotte's, where he met his wife, Arlene Fowler Bellefleur (Carrie Preston).
The reserved veteran was pulled into the world of the supernatural by the maenad Maryann Forrester, and participated in her trance-induced orgies with Arlene. The couple continued their affair after Maryann was vanquished, and eventually fell in love and got married. Being a man of good character, when Arlene realized she was pregnant with psycho-ex Rene's baby, Terry agreed to raise the child as his own. And when he discovered his cousin was addicted to V, Terry staged a one-person intervention and helped Andy get sober.
Terry's PTSD resurfaced when his Commanding Officer, Patrick Devins (Scott Foley), showed up and brought back memories of their squad killing an innocent family in Iraq. Initially, Patrick convinced Terry that another member of their unit was setting fire to the other squad member's homes, but it was revealed that an Ifrit (a vengeful fire spirit) was responsible instead.
Terry stopped the Ifrit by getting Patrick to confess that the deaths were his fault, and then killing him. The spirit then claimed Patrick's body, which satisfied Terry's blood debt. Now that he's free from the torturous fire demon, Terry can concentrate on healing and being with his family … assuming he can get over the trauma of killing his old Marine buddy.
What's in store for Terry Bellefleur in True Blood Season 6? Join us all season long right here at Wetpaint for all the latest True Blood spoilers, news, gossip and more!
- Wetpaint Entertainment Staff, Amie Simon
Watch the Full-Length Trailer for True Blood Season 7 — Where's Eric?
Spoiler! True Blood Season 7 Spoilers: 90210 Alum to Play "Sexy" Vampire Who Falls For Arlene (Oh and Sarah Newlin Is Back!)
True Blood Season 6: Most Shocking Moments
True Blood Season 6 Memoriam: Characters Who Died This Season (PHOTOS)
True Blood Season 6 Photos: New Faces, Bloody Deaths, and More!


text:
I got this frame from my friend that had Frank weld a few up for him. It is essentially a steel tube Simon bar. I bought it in hopes of building it up. I just don't have the time or money to build a frame right now. It is a medium. I'm looking to get $400 for it. I'm looking for the geometry specs on it, but I wanted to list it asap.
No announcement yet.
FTW frame


text:
Games >
Puzzle >
Transmogrify >
More Info
Server List
FunOrb Members' Benefits
Transmogrify is an exciting word-based game, which will test your anagram-finding skills to the max! Beginners can aim to race the clock or rack up a high variety bonus; experienced players can aim to do both at the same time, and everyone can seek that elusive 12-letter word! Bonus points will be given to those who create the longest and most varied words.
1. Why didn't Transmogrify accept my perfectly cromulent word?If you're playing in English, make sure you're playing with the correct dictionary. We have British English and American English dictionaries; if you're playing with the British dictionary then 'color' won't be accepted, and likewise 'colour' isn't in the American dictionary. Even if you are playing with the correct dictionary, the dictionaries aren't exhaustive. To make them exhaustive just isn't practical. Also, some words have been removed for being potentially offensive. 2. How does the variety bonus work?Each word is compared with all of the previously submitted words. The variety bonus is based on the difference between the length of the word submitted and the length of the longest sequence of letters it has in common with a previous word. 3. What can I do if I can't find any word in the letters I've been given?If you really despair of making a word, you can submit an empty rack. This won't score you anything for the round, but will give you a new set of 8 tiles for the next round. Alternatively, you could use the 'Reshuffle' control, as a means of gaining inspiration. 4. What are the minimum specifications for this game?The minimum specifications we recommend for this game are:
The recommended specifications for getting the most out of this game are:
Below is an explanation of the terms in our technical specifications. Megahertz (MHz) / Gigahertz (GHz) is a measure of how fast your computer's processor is. This affects how quickly you can run things like games and applications. Megabytes (MB) are used to measure how much memory your computer has. This affects how quickly your computer runs when using large programs such as games, or when you run a lot of programs at once. Click here to get the latest version of Sun Java. Copyright © 2008 - 2013 Jagex Ltd. Jagex and FunOrb are registered trademarks of Jagex Ltd in the United Kingdom and trademarks used in other countries of the world. By using our service you are agreeing to our Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy. |


text: The Division of Mental Health Services operates four psychiatric hospitals that serve people with persistent and severe mental illnesses who are in need of intensive, inpatient care and treatment. These hospitals and the populations they serve are: Ann Klein Forensic Center in Trenton serves people who have been determined by the courts to be Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity or Incompetent to Stand Trial or who require special security measures due to the nature of their illness. Ancora Psychiatric Hospital in Winslow Township serves not only a general adult population but also has units that serve elderly forensic patients and people who have been dually diagnosed to have both a developmental disability and a mental illness. Greystone Park Psychiatric Hospital in Morris Plains serves adults. Trenton Psychiatric Hospital in Trenton serves adults. Marlboro Psychiatric Hospital in Marlboro, closed on June 30, 1998 as part of a divisional reorganization. Senator Garrett W. Hagedorn Psychiatric Hospital in Glen Gardner, closed on June 30, 2012.


text:
Modernize the way you do your makeup with the much sought after celebrity makeup sponge. Beautyblender's elliptical shape is designed to match the contours of your face and its lack of edges eliminates streaks allowing for perfect makeup application every time.
Blend, cleanse and repeat. Slightly dampening your Beautyblender will cause it to expand and get even softer, creating the smoothest application of makeup you've ever seen. Clean the sponge using one of Beautyblender's specially formulated cleansers and see how your skin will stay cleaner, your Beautyblender will last longer and your makeup will look better than ever.
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I thought it was purple!! - 3/28/2015 4:09:23 PM I ordered the beauty blender royal because I fell in love with the gorgeous purple colour. Unfortunately, when I received it, it was no where close to that colour. It was not a true purple nor was the colour vibrant...it actually had a sort of brown tint to it. It works just like an original beauty blender, however, I am disappointed in the colour of the product.Great for putting on pressed makeup - 8/16/2014 8:43:44 AM As an alternative to a brush, this little product is great. Get it wet, squeeze it out, the way it's contoured there isn't an area on your face you can't get to and you won't make a mess of it. You control the amount of dampness in the sponge so you control how much of a powder effect and how much of a liquid makeup effect you get. Two cons: The pink flushes out of the sponge if you rinse it in hot water, and the cleanser doesn't remove my Jane Iredale makeup to my satisfaction. I tried some Neutrogena makeup remover and it works fabulously. This combo product isn't worth the $50+ dollars they ask for but it is worth the $30+. It would be nice if they could sell the sponge without the cleanser.Can't live without it - 1/27/2014 11:24:08 AM I hate that I love this tool so much! I used to use the little triangle sponges and thought everything was just fine. Never would I have spent $20 on a make up sponge... but I received this as a gift, and my application process is forever changed. I use less product, and my liquid make up looks flawless and smooth. I tried to go back to my regular sponges, but no way! I'm a beauty blender convert, and I've convinced a few others as well. Love this little thing! The only thing I don't like about it is how long it takes me to clean it... maybe 3-4 minutes for a complete clean. If you have purchased this and think it doesn't work, I urge you to watch an instructional video on you tube or something. I had a friend who thought this was just mediocore until I showed her how to use it properly. Its worth it! -
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