text:
I couldn�t have any more respect for you guys if I tried.� Thank you both so very much.�
No it certainly isn�t the easiest thing to do when it comes to spilling your guts but it is the most healing.�
It took over 40 years for me to admit the abuse I underwent as a child and from my own brother no less.� Mom and Dad never knew but then again they never understood the choices I�ve made in life because of it either.�
Pam, Jakii is right you have to reach way deep to pull it out, but I can guarantee that the sooner you do and the more you are willing to share the better you will feel about your self.� Not to mention by sharing you are better able to help others in the same emotional if not physical turmoil.� To put it point blank; you don�t necessarily need to be sitting on the
psychiatrist's couch to get good therapy as long as you are willing to talk it out with others who understand, sympathies and empathies with your hurt.
I myself have stories but better yet I�ve just learned a great deal from the two posts above.� Neither of them knows me or me them, but I know I�m walking away with more knowledge and understanding than before I read their shares.� So just think what you can do for someone else just by sharing.�
Hey Mike luv.
This post was modified from its original form on 07 Jul, 9:54
Pam:But you do sweety,you just gotta dig way down for it.That's where courage lives!Your very welcome!
Hi Mike! Right on!
Nothing like the feeling of being able to openly discuss anything. I have had my share of abuse in a marriage of 4 years, both verbal and physical. My ex had a problem with drinking, sometimes a blackout drinker. She would tell people that I was a stuffed shirt because my idea of fun was not getting drunk and falling off a bar stool. I am the type of person that likes to remain in full control of myself, a lot to do with my martial arts background of 43 years.
On a number of occasions, I got my face scratched or hair pulled and one night she was drunk and trying to call her parents in NY at 2:00 AM from a payphone, because she wanted to go to a bar down the street and I told her she had enough, to go sleep it off and not get her parents upset. The first time I hung up the phone, she whacked me in the other hand with the receiver. The 2nd time, she caught me so off guard....never would have believed she would have punched me in the face. I am a 6th degree black belt and would not even consider hitting a woman for numerous reasons, I was raised with good morals, and that was a big no no, aside from the fact that I know what I am capable of doing to someone, and the ramifications. At the time, I was working as a professional bodyguard for two wealthy individuals, and you cannot imagine explaining to them what happened. They wanted to know how many guys jumped me, and I replied, just one little woman!! I was surprised that I stuck it out as long as I did, trying to get her to go for therapy and rehab. One night, 3:00 AM, she started an argument with me and by then it was time to cut the losses. I told her to pack up, make a phonecall to one of her friends and have them pick her up, she was now history in my life!! She packed, slipped out while I was in the bathroom and I heard her car screeching out of the parking area.....amazing she never hurt or killed anyone or herself. And there you have it!! Today I pay attention when a red flag pops up...lol!!!
Thank you again for bringing this up.� I find many people who refuse to believe that this has happened to me & it's just because of the reasons you stated.
My current primary partner is a wonderful female to male transgendered person.� He is kind, caring, thoughtful, protective, all the while giving me the liberty to experience my life & encouragement to help me find all I can get out of it.
My last relationship was with my wife who I have recently divorced from.� In the beginning of our relationship I could say that she was kind, caring, thoughtful, she has never been protective & that was OK.� As time went on though she became very emotionally abusive as well as psychologically.� I had cerfews, was expected to be home from work in just enough time to get there, she called me many times through the day that i now realize was to check up on me, I was punished if she couldn't get a hold of me through the day or if I was late getting home.� She made it difficult for me to have friends independently, separated me from my family, hid, destroyed, or threw away my personal items.� I had an allowance & no money that I could call my own besides that. It got worse when I discovered that I was a transwoman.� She started telling me how to look & what to wear.� She had (still does) many derogetory terms for me.� At the time she had me convinced that I deserved this & actually many of he signs of abuse I didn't recognize until my daughter picked up a pamphlet about abuse & was reading it I heard many of the things I have listed & recognized them for the first time.� She had destroyed my self esteem & basically I felt worthless & didn't care if I lived or not.� I was also driven to a suicide attempt which she twisted as to saying that I was abusing her with it. Before the divorce threatened to take our daughter from me.� Fortunately, the courts all but laughed at her for that one. She told my family about my being trans without my knowledge.� After I left she at times would repeatedly call me at work & be abusive and one time when she was at my doorstep when she knew I was coming home & wouldn't leave until I called the police. I still have to deal with her because of our daughter.� Although they have been less frequent� there are still times that she will manage to verbally abuse me to the point where I am in tears & feeling like I have been beat up.� Fortunately, my present partner is good at picking up the pieces of my soul when this happens & to help me rebuild myself so that I feel human again.
I'm glad to be free of this & am spreading the word that people born male are truly susceptible of being abuse victims.� The fact that I'm trans I've found actually adds to the likelihood of that happening & to many people's eyes is either deserved or should just be expected.
Thank you for having this group.� Let's hope that the silence will end on this & the awareness will help some other unfortunate people of any gender.
If you post any comments here - could you please post them in the cooments section on my Blog as well?
This post was modified from its original form on 26 Jun, 18:52
Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Please don't raise the double standard.
Thanks for bringing this important stroy to light.
Thank you. My son was a victim of abuse by his live-in girlfriend for years. I would see scratches and bite marks on him, but was afraid to "be nosy" and assumed they were from overpassionate or rough sex. Then she kicked him in the groin and caused him serious injury. He would never fight back because at 6'1" and 240 pounds he could have seriously hurt or even killed her. My son is a body builder and can bench press 450 pounds, so he could defend himself and HAS in some pretty dangerous situations.
There was also a child involved and my son didn't want him to end up without a mother. The child did not belong to my son and the real father was deceased.
All this finally ended when the neighbors called the police because she was chasing my son outside with a butcher knife. Is it any wonder that my son has stayed single ever since??
I can use mine more than once... Yours aren't "disposable" are they???�
"Pinky promise!"
I am fine.
I'd prefer if you didn't have that list. You Owe me Nothing, truely.
Got it from my sponsor, I am just passing it on - you do the same, agreed?
O.k.� Now I have to also add to my "SoB Gratitude List"�a new�favorite quote:
"When the victim is healed, the perpetrator dies."
I am sorry you have been subjected to violence - I hope you have found ways to recover from that.
There is a saying: "When the victim is healed, the perpetrator dies", meaning that as violence is hereditary, we all have the potential to become violent if we have witnessed or have been abused. That potential will wither away if and when we acknowledge it in ourselves and start healing the victim in us.
Those two are tightly bound together, because in reality it is the victim who are lashing out in attempt to create balance within.
SoB, I want to thank you for a couple of things regarding your input on this subject.
I appreciate the informative, non-judgmental (and even humble) way you presented facts here -- without being overly-emotional.� Abuse�is an extremely complex issue.� Opinions held by witnesses to, pepetrators of, or victims of it are colored by personal experience and deeply-held frustrations, anger and fear.
It is a slowly-evolving process to shrug off the "us vs. them" posture and become tolerant of all viewpoints -- male and female.� I know, because I personally had that problem, having been subjected to it myself, and having witnessed its tragic consequences to family and friends.
Thanks to the insight provided here, I had to face a harsh truth.� Unless we all shed our protective armors and preconceived�judgments and accept that abuse is equally destructive to everyone, we can not strike at the core of it and work to eliminate it.
I owe you, "not-at-all Silly Old Bear."
This post was modified from its original form on 21 Jun, 23:20
In order to prevent violence - domestic and other wise - one needs to be aware of what actually constitutes violence. I hope that after reading this Blog Entry, you will see this Entry ties in with a previous Blog Entry "Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics".We normally associate 'violence' with physical agression, and it is something we have learned is men's way of expressing themselves. Thus deliberately or not assuming that if something is not physical and not done by men it can possibly not be violence. Well, that is wrong. There are at least seven independent catergories of 'violence', each of them as painful and as damaging to the Human Organism.
- Physical
- Emotional
- Verbal
- Social
- Spiritual
- Sexual
- Intellectual
Your welcome Annie.We need as much info as possible if we're to enact change!
"I have seen the face of the enemy,And the enemy is us."As long as we stay silent and uninformed "complasent",This great wrong will never end.
What a bunch of info that I LOVED to read I think this paragraph is especially true:
Some professionals have observed that mental and emotional abuse can be an area where women are often "brutal" than men.� Men on the other hand are quicker to resort to physical abuse and they are more capable of physical assaults that are more brutal - even deadly!
Thank you so very much,�Jakki, for this
Annie �
Here it is for you Bear!I hope this helps!
Violence is not ok ,and it knows no bounds or gender,unfortunatly its one size fits all and equal opperatunity.Violence will only stop when the world fully aknowledges it and yells stop.We shall do this via law reform and much stiffer punishments-for all sides Equaly.One person crying into the night cannot accomplish much,But A million can bring� violence to a screaching halt.And thats what we must do.Our generation has the power to do so,more than any generation ever.We must weild our power wisely and put an end to Silenced Victims everywhere.NO MORE VIOLENCE!
If you got it from somewhere - can you please provide a link - I want to blog this.
I use to categorize abusers in two categories:
Control abusers and Affect abusers.
Control abusers are the abusers who use abusive tactics to control their spouse - often out of reasons only they can see - like paranoid ideas about being cheated on etc. The abuse becomes a means to maintain a sense of power. No provocation is needed. They will escalate their abuse with time unless confined.
Affect abusers are those who use physical abuse as a "last way to be heard", a way to signal a sense of extreme powerlessness - this is the typical "two-way" domestic violence setting.
Affect abusers are not habit-abusers and will in 9 cases of 10 choose not to abuse if given another option for signalling their sense of powerlessness. They usually do not escalate regardless of intervention.
This post was modified from its original form on 19 Jun, 4:19
Not only does it seem to be a matter of less seriousness to some because it targets men, it also seems to create the idea that men speaking out about being victims of domestic violence are somehow deliberately diverting attention from the issue of domestic violence against women as a patriarchal tactics to oppress women, or even deny that domestic violence against women exist.
To me that is like saying that the impact of Global Warming on Polar Bears is diverting attention from the impact of Global Warming on Arctic Foxes. Or denying that Global Warming even affect the Arctic Foxes.
As a man and a survivor of domestic violence, both as a child and younger man, I feel that ANY violence is abhorrant and shouldn't happen to anyone.
I wish we could somehow get to a point where Domestic Violence is seen not as gender specific, but as a Human phenomenon, that HUMANS are victims and perpertrators of.
This, in my mind, requires acknowledging without reservations that Domestic Violence has both male and female victims and perpetrators, and that it really doesn't matter how many of each gender are victims.
Divisional thinking like that only fuels prejudice and resentment, where all victims really should be banding together in support.
Statistics can only tell us how many victims have actually reported being beaten by their spouses. It doesn't take into account why they report, how many attempted reports they have made, or for that matter the societal dynamics that prevent some victims from report before the abuse gets physical, despite the fact that ALL kinds of abuse are today registered with the courts as violence.
Statistics won't build shelters for men and boys that need to get away from an abusive family member - most often those men and boys end up on the streets, where life is even more hellish than with an abusive family situation.
We need to map out what are specific to male victims of domestic violence and educate social services and law-enforcement, so it becomes SAFE emotionally and socially for a� man to report and seek help to get out of domestic violence.
I'll return with more on this.
Male Victims of Domestic abuse
Wives Not Always Victims Of Domestic Violence
Woman Against Domestic Violence
Battered Men: Research Reveals A Secret Side To Domestic Violence - Women Are Doing The Abusing, Too.
The woman is mildly distressed and upset. The man notices her distress and then worries she may become angry. � The woman attempts to communicate and discuss her feelings.� She wants to talk, feel supported and feel less alone. � She initially attributes some of her distress or problems to him.� The man begins to feel defensive, shuts down emotionally and attempts to deal with the problems rationally.� He feels a fight is coming on.� The woman feels uncared for, ignored and then gets angry.� She wants him to share the problem and he doesn't feel he has a problem.� The man will attempt to remain unemotional and stay in control of himself.� He avoids accepting any blame for how she feels.� He is also worried that she may explode at any moment and that she will certainly do so if he talks about his feelings. The man will start talking about her problem as if she could feel better if she would only listen to him and stop acting so upset.� He fails to understand how she feels and tries to remain calm.� He tells her to calm down and ends up looking insensitive.� She begins to wonder if he has any feelings at all.� She tells him that he thinks he's perfect. � He says he is not perfect.� She calls him insensitive.� He stares at her and says nothing but looks irritated.�
The woman is frustrated that he won't reveal his feelings and that he acts like he is in control.� On the other hand, the man feels out of control and like there is no room for anybody's feelings in the conversation but hers. Communication breaks down and the woman begins to insult the man.� When the man finally expresses his disapproval and attempts to end the fight.� The woman becomes enraged and may throw something.� The man will usually�endure insults and interactions like this for weeks or months.� This whole pattern becomes a recurrent and all too familiar experience.�� The man becomes increasingly sensitive to how the woman acts and becomes avoidant and unsupportive.� The man begins to believe that there is nothing he can do and that it may be all his fault.� His frustration and anger can build for months ike this.�
This risk of violence� increases when the woman insults the man in front of their children, threatens the man's relationship with his children, or she refuses to control her abusive behavior when the children are present.� She may call him a terrible father or an awful husband in front of the children.� Eventually he feels enraged not only because of how she treats him, but how her behavior is harming the children. � At some point the man may throw something, punch a wall, or slam his fist down loudly to vent his anger and to communicate that he has reached his limits. �Up till now she has never listened to what he had to say.� He decides that maybe she will stop if she can see just how angry he has become.� Rather than recognizing that he has reached his limits, expressing his anger physically has the opposite effect.� For a long time the man has tried to hide his anger.� Why should the woman believe he really means it?� After all, he has put up with her abuse for a long time and done nothing.� Instead of realizing that things have gotten out of control, the woman may approach him and say something like, "What are you gonna do.� Hit me?� Go ahead.� I'll call the police and you'll never see your children again."� Once he expressed his anger physically, the situation became dangerous for him and for her.� The door to violence has opened wide.� He should walk away.� When he does walk away, she ends up more angry than ever, will scream obscenities at him and strike him repeatedly.� She may even strike him with an object.
Why Do Men Stay In Abusive And Violent Relationships?
Men stay in abusive and violent relationships for many different reasons.� The following is a brief list of the primary reasons.
- Protecting Their Children.� Abused men are afraid to leave their children alone with an abusive woman.� They are afraid that if they leave they will never be allowed to see their children again.� The man is afraid the woman will tell his children he is�a bad person or that he doesn't love them.
- Assuming Blame (Guilt Prone).� Many abused men believe it is their fault or feel they deserve the treatment they receive. They assume blame for events that other people would not.� They feel responsible and have an unrealistic belief that they can and should do something that will make things better.
- Dependency (or Fear of Independence).� The abused man is mentally, emotionally or financially dependent on the abusive woman.� The idea of leaving the relationship creates significant feelings of depression or anxiety.� They are "addicted" to each other.
Who Can Help If You Are In An Abusive or Violent Relationship?
Help for men who are victims of domestic abuse and violence is not as prevalent as it is for women.� There are virtually no shelters, programs or advocacy groups for men. �
Most abused men will have to rely on private counseling services.� Community resources for breaking the cycle of violence are scarce and not well developed.
Why Does Domestic Abuse Against Men Go Unrecognized?
- The incidence of domestic violence against men appears to be so low that it is hard to get reliable estimates.�
- It has taken years of advocacy and support to encourage women to report domestic violence. Virtually nothing has been done to encourage men to report abuse.�
- The idea that men could be victims of domestic abuse and violence is so unthinkable to most people that many men will not even attempt to report the situation.�
- The counseling and psychological community have responded to domestic abuse and violence against women.� Not enough has been done to stop abuse against women.� There has been very little investment in resources to address the issues of domestic abuse and violence against men.�
- In most cases, the actual physical damage inflicted by men is so much greater than the actual physical harm inflected by women.� The impact of domestic violence is less apparent and less likely to come to the attention of others.�
- Even when men do report domestic abuse and violence, most people are so astonished, men usually end up feeling like nobody would believe them.� It is widely assumed than a man with a bruise or black eye was in a fight with another man or was injured on the job or while playing contact sports.� Women generally don't do those things.
What Are The Characteristics Of Women Who Are Abusive And Violent?
The characteristics of men or women who are abusive fall into three categories.�
- Alcohol Abuse.� Alcohol abuse is a major cause and trigger in domestic violence.� People who are intoxicated have less impulse control, are easily frustrated, have greater misunderstandings and are generally prone to resort to violence as a solution to problems. � Women who abuse men are frequently alcoholics.�
- Psychological Disorders.� There are certain psychological problems, primarily personality disorders,� in which women are characteristically abusive and violent toward men. � Borderline personality disorder is a diagnosis that is found almost exclusively with women.� Approximately 1 to 2 percent of all women have a Borderline Personality disorder.� At least 50% of all domestic abuse and violence against men is associated with woman who have a Borderline Personality disorder. The disorder is also associated with suicidal behavior, severe mood swings, lying, sexual problems and alcohol abuse.
- Unrealistic expectations, assumptions and conclusions. � Women who are abusive toward men usually have unrealistic expectations and make unrealistic demands of men.� These women will typically experience repeated episodes of depression, anxiety, frustration and irritability which they attribute to a man's behavior.� In fact, their mental and emotional state is the result of their own insecurities, emotional problems, trauma during childhood or even withdrawal from alcohol. � They blame men rather than admit their problems, take responsibility for how they live their lives or do something about how they make themselves miserable.� They refuse to enter treatment and may even insist the man needs treatment.�� Instead of helping themselves, they� blame a man for how they feel and believe that a man should do something to make them feel better. They will often medicate their emotions with alcohol.� When men can't make them feel better, these women become frustrated and assume that men are doing this on purpose.
A Common Dynamic:� How Violence ERUPTS
There are a number of commonly reported interactions in which violence against men erupts.� Here is one example that illustrates a common dynamic.�
The woman is mildly distressed and upset. The man notices her distress and then worries she may become angry. � The woman attempts to communicate and discuss her feelings.� She wants to talk, feel supported and feel less alone. � She initially attributes some of her distress or problems to him.� The man begins to feel defensive, shuts down emotionally and attempts to deal with the problems rationally.� He feels a fight is coming on.� The woman feels uncared for, ignored and then gets angry.� She wants him to share the problem and he doesn't feel he has a problem.� The man will attempt to remain unemotional and stay in control of himself.� He avoids accepting any blame for how she feels.� He is also worried that she may explode at any moment and that she will certainly do so if he talks about his feelings. The man will start talking about her problem as if she could feel better if she
Male Victims of Domestic Violence (UK based)
Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men
The dynamic of domestic abuse and violence is also different between men and women.� The reasons, purposes and motivations are often very different between sexes.� Although the counseling and psychological community have responded to domestic abuse and violence against women, there has been very little investment in resources to address and understand the issues of domestic abuse and violence against men.� In most cases, the actual physical damage inflicted by men is so much greater than the actual physical harm inflected by women.� The impact of domestic violence is less apparent and less likely to come to the attention of others when men are abused.� For example, it is assumed than a man with a bruise or black eye was in a fight with another man or was injured on the job or playing contact sports.� Even when men do report domestic abuse and violence, most people are so astonished men usually end up feeling like nobody believes them.�
The Problem With Assumptions About Domestic Abuse And Violence
It is a widely held assumption that women are always the victims and men are always the perpetrators.�� Between 50 and 60% of all domestic abuse and violence is against women.�� There are many reasons why people assume men are never victims and why women often ignore the possibility.� For one thing, domestic abuse and violence has been minimized, justified and ignored for a very long time. � Women are now more organized, supportive and outspoken about the epidemic of domestic abuse and violence against women.� Very little attention has been paid to the issue of domestic abuse and violence against men - especially� because violence against women has been so obvious and was ignored for so long.�
What Is Domestic Abuse And Violence Against Men?
There are no absolute rules for understanding the emotional differences between men and women. There are principles and dynamics that allow interpretation of individual situations.� Domestic abuse and violence against men and women have some similarities and difference.� For men or women, domestic violence includes pushing, slapping, hitting, throwing objects, forcing or slamming a door� or striking the other person with an object, or using a weapon.� Domestic abuse can also be mental or emotional.� However, what�will hurt a man mentally and emotionally, can in some cases� be very different from what hurts a woman.� For some men, being called a coward, impotent or a failure can have a very different psychological impact than it would on a women.� Unkind and cruel words hurt, but they can hurt in different ways and linger in different ways.� In most cases, men are more deeply affected by emotional abuse than physical abuse.�
For example, the ability to tolerate and "brush off" a physical assault by women in front of other men can in some cases reassure a man that he is strong and communicate to other men that he can live up to the code of never hitting a woman.� A significant number of of men are overly sensitive to emotional and psychological abuse.� In some cases, humiliating a man emotionally in front of other men can be more devastating than physical abuse.� Some profes
Men don�t like to admit that they are attacked by their wives or girlfriends; hence they are loathe to admit it. In the UK the men�s civil rights charity, ManKind, has over the past year, set up helplines for male victims all over the country. How many calls do they get? One of the men who mans one of the lines recently told me that he gets on average 15 every day; and that�s only in one area of the south of England.
I know four men who have suffered domestic violence at the hands of their wives. The first woke up one morning to find his wife sitting on the side of his bed, striking matches and throwing them on the sheets in an effort to set him alight, another told me of the time he was left lying injured and bleeding on the floor of his kitchen, after being attacked by his wife, and when the police arrived, they stepped over him to go to his wife to ask if she was all right. A third man had his skull and several ribs fractured by his wife using an iron bar, but still stayed with her until the day she put crushed glass in his dinner. When blood started pouring out of his mouth, he realised it was time to move out. A fourth stands at six feet four, is a black belt in karate and his wife constantly bombards him with verbal abuse. He will not hit her because he knows very well that if he does the police will immediately arrest him and make him leave his home.
If you wish to delve further into the truth about domestic violence, I suggest you obtain a copy of The A to Z of D.V. complied by Martin S Fiebert, Ph.D. of the Department of Psychology, California State University. This is a collection of 95 scholarly investigations, 79 empirical studies and 16 reviews and analyses, covering over 60,000 case studies. Together, this massive volume of evidence proves beyond doubt that women are as physically aggressive, if not more so, in relationships with their spouses than men. All this is freely available on the Internet.
The majority of male victims feel that the police and social agencies are generally unsympathetic to their plight and in some cases antagonistic. A Dispatches programme, broadcast in the UK on 7th January 1999 reported on the experiences of 100 male victims of domestic violence and found that: 30% had been attacked while asleep; 25% had been kicked in the genitals; 25% of the male victims had themselves been arrested after seeking police help, and 89% felt that the police had not taken their complaints seriously. Only 7% of the female assailants had been arrested and none was subsequently charged.
Despite the huge body of research I have referred to above, the assumption that women are always the victims and men the victimisers still largely underpins government and public policy and is the reason for giving many millioins of pounds of public money to women�s groups and refuges every year, and none to help male victims. There are over 445 refuges for �battered� women in England and Wales where women can flee and take their children. At the moment, in the UK there are just two refuges for men, one opened in December 2003 and the other, which is the only one exclusively for men, in January 2004.
Given the foregoing, it is not surprising that men do not report instances of domestic violence against them, and it is this problem that the UK men�s rights charity ManKind is now busy addressing. Their DV posters are being increasingly seen in police stations, libraries and on notice-boards as more and more people are becoming aware of the truth of the situation and are willing to help. One of the posters shows a man with an injured face bearing the caption, �The �garage door� he bumped into last night was female.� This is an attempt to urge men to report domestic violence as readily as women do. The latest surveys show that women are five times more likely than men to report domestic violence against them.
Domestic violence is not a sex issue, it is a social issue, and until both sides of the problem are acknowledged and addressed by those who claim to be concerned about the matter, no cure will be found.
For decades there has been proof that women have regularly attacked men behind the closed doors of the home. With feminism now in rapid decline the true facts are emerging.
This article by DAVID HUGHES has opened many eyes.
If you want to find an example of ultra-successful brainwashing of the public by the media, you need look no further than the subject of domestic violence; though I have to admit that child abuse runs it a close second. If you ask the man-in-the-street what he thinks domestic violence is, he will probably tell you that it is men attacking women within the family. If you further ask him why he thinks this, he will tell you that he has heard it many times in TV news broadcasts, read about it in newspapers and magazines and has seen adverts about it on television.
Exactly! In a word he has been brainwashed and, sadly, he is by no means alone; he is in the company of his wife, his neighbours, his children�s teachers, his bank manager and countless politicians. They are all totally ignorant of the true facts about domestic violence. So where can these poor beleaguered souls discover the truth about this important problem which constantly batters their ears and eyeballs? The sad answer is, it�s all around them if only they use their eyes and their ears.
In January 1999 the UK Government�s Home Office published the results of a survey into domestic violence. It was the biggest ever carried out anywhere in the world and involved more than 10,000 men and women. It was called Study 191 and it stated, quite categorically, that 4.2% of men and 4.2% of women perpetrate the crime of domestic violence. In other words they had discovered that men and women are equally violent.
Surprised? Don�t be. It�s nothing new and to my knowledge (and to anyone else�s who has researched the matter) it has been known for at least 30 years.
The persistent claim that the overwhelming majority of victims of domestic violence are women is not supported by any impartial research, either in the UK or elsewhere. The results of all reputable gender-neutral studies of domestic violence in couple relationships, published to date, indicate that there is an almost equal numerical culpability between men and women.
We hear much today about the need for women�s refuges where all those women who are �regularly� beaten up by men can flee with their children. The first such refuge in this country (indeed in the world) was opened by Erin Pizzey in London, back in 1971. She was a feminist and thought that women needed to be helped. But in her book Prone to Violence, published in 1982, she stated that, of the first 100 women who entered that refuge, 64 of them were as violent, or more violent, than the men they were allegedly running away from.
So with this evidence available for over 20 years, why are the public and the politicians so ignorant of it? The simple answer is: the book was censored. Erin Pizzey received death threats from feminists in the UK who, at that time, were riding on the crest of a powerful wave, and Erin had to leave the country.
I first heard about the book eight years ago so I decided to buy a copy. I was told that it was out of print. I decided to try the massive Internet booksellers Amazon who boasted that they could supply any book. When I visited their site I asked for the titles of all the books written by Erin Pizzey (she�s written about 12). Down scrolled a list of all her books - all except Prone to Violence. Strange! Are you now thinking the unthinkable, that book censorship is alive and well in the UK? You are so right!
Having failed to buy a copy, I decided to borrow one. I tried my local library but they told me that they did not have a copy. I therefore filled in the necessary card, and paid the fee, for them to borrow a copy from another library in the UK. I was eventually informed that there was not a single copy of the book in any library in the country. Fortunately, having had experience in the publishing business, I knew that a copy of every book published in the UK has to be sent, free, to the National Library, by the publisher. I told my library this and asked them to borrow a copy from them. They did, and I was eventually able to read the book. A year or so later, Prone to Violence was published on the Internet. The cenosrship had eventually failed and now anyone can download the entire book free.
Now that governments and other agencies can no longer censor books which appear on the internet, does it surprise you that we constantly hear of how much �damage� merely being on the Internet does to children? Increasingly politicians and other censorship angents are trying to take some sort of control of the Internet no matter how feeble the reason. Freedom to think is a constant threat to politicians.
This complete censorship of domestic violence has now been replaced by a one-sided presentation of the �facts� of domestic violence with the feminist spin machine presenting carefully selected �facts� to present to the public in an effort to suggest that domestic violence is a sex issue, and not showing it in its true colours as a social issue.
Violence in couple relationships has always existed. Some examples of male victims include Abraham Lincoln, and more recently, Humphrey Bogart and John Wayne, to name but a few. But do you think any of these gentlemen would want it noised abroad that they were attacked by their wives? I hardly think so. Just imagine what such publi


text:
New drywall in outdoor poolhouse...what kind of primer and paint?
The drywall will be ready for paint in a few days.
The drywaller recommended a primer/sealer (2 coats). Is there a specific product I should be using for new drywall in an outdoor poolhouse that is enclosed (windows and doors) but not insulated, heated or cooled? I am in Canada so it will be exposed to harsh temperature extremes and, being a poolhouse, it might be exposed to a few splashes of water from wet bathing suits.
There are two rooms: a bar area and a washroom/changeroom.
Not insulated?
I'm not sure how much condensation you have to deal with in your colder climate, but I'm saying you should get an oil based primer and use two coats of that.
My contractor advised us to use oilbased primer in our bathroom because it is more resistant to the effects of moisture. I have no recommendations on brands, but I'd get only the very best you can find, as the foundation of any future paintings in a new structure.
I actually hope that the drywaller used a setting-type mud, like Durabond or Easysand, and not regular premixed mud. IMO premixed will fail due to the wild temperature swings that will set the stage for condensation on the walls (or within them) and the moisture will lift the mud/tape.
Oil primer for sure.
This is really why you don't see garage drywall jobs hold up very well unless the space is heated. I don't see what you are going to gain by using an oil primer though...perhaps I am missing something. I would use an acrylic primer and follow that with two coats of some high quality exterior satin paint.
Sombreuil mongrel......yes, he used Durabond but I'm not sure if he did it adequately (I don't know anything about it). I know he used it for the first round of mudding (mixed with the ready-to-use drywall compound) but after that I think he just used the premixed.
Our garage is not heated but it is insulated. The walls still look great 12 years on. I hope we didn't make a mistake by using drywall in our poolhouse.
Anyway, I was at the paint store (supposedly experts) and they didn't think exterior or interior made a difference in this application and told me that oil primers are not what they used to be (they've taken out a lot of what made them so good because of new environmental laws and for lower toxicity, etc.) and that now they are not much better than the acrylic ones. His demeanor made me lack confidence in what he was saying (he didn't seem to know much when I asked for details), but I went ahead and bought an exterior acrylic primer.
Someone tell me its going to be OK because I've just cut in the edges!
...yes, he used Durabond but I'm not sure if he did it adequately (I don't know anything about it). I know he used it for the first round of mudding (mixed with the ready-to-use drywall compound)
Hopefully this will not come back to bite you. It might be OK, it might not. These should NEVER be mixed together.Applied one at a time OK but not mixed up together.
Oh dear!
What might happen if he mixed them? (Well, he DID mix them, that I know. The Durabond was a powder that came in a box and he said he'd put the powder into the mud to strengthen it - makes it like concrete he said. He went through 2 small boxes of it...)
I have been a drywall and painting contractor in northern michigan for 25yrs. it is ok to mix durabond with certain types of plaster (mud) the mud can or should only be all purpose, never topping or light, mid-wheight mud. both all purpose and durabond have the same ingredients. the only difference is durabond has an excellerator in it. youll notice on the package different setting (when its hardened) times. 90minutes, 45min. all the way down to 5min.. note when mixed they should be mixed really well..

subset: commoncrawl


text: Police 'break up fight at Hogan wedding' Hulk Hogan posts wedding ring picture Hulk Hogan marries girlfriend? Hulk Hogan to wed girlfriend? Hulk Hogan undergoes back surgery Laila Ali announces second pregnancy Hogan 'wants marriage after hospital stay' Hulk Hogan hospitalized with back pain Nick Hogan confronts mom over engagement Hulk Hogan's ex-wife gets engaged Hogan home 'in danger from oil spill' Hulk Hogan sues cereal company Hulk Hogan sues insurer over son accident Hulk Hogan was "close" to suicide Linda Hogan to pen 'tell-all' book Hogan 'ecstatic' over toilet seat triumph Hulk Hogan return sets ratings record Hogan accuses ex of stealing toilet seat Hulk Hogan attacked at press conference Hulk Hogan makes pro wrestling return Hulk Hogan 'considered suicide after split' Brooke Hogan: 'My mom must change' Linda Hogan 'passes drug test' Hogan: 'I don't condone O.J. situation' Hulk Hogan 'totally understands O.J.' Hogan's son freed from prison


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Backsplash before granite counter installation?
CAn you install tile backsplash before the counter is put in?
The issue is, The granite installation got postponed by couple of weeks because the shop does not have enough slabs in stock. They have put it for order.
SO my contractor said, he ill do the backsplash.
i am not sure if that is good idea.
Please suggest
Nope, and don't let him talk you into tiling from the top down and leaving the last couple rows of tiles until after the counters are installed.
Your last row of tiles is under the cabinet so that where you like to put your cut tiles if everything lays out well that way. Ideally, your first tile that is next to your granite is whole and you work your way up (with whole tiles) until the cut tile under the cabinet. Tiling down won't look as nice.
And if he tiles up, leaving enough room to slip your granite in, he is going to leave too big a gap between the first row and the granite.


text: Every seller wants to sell their home quickly so buyers are not wandering through and disrupting the household. Here are five simple tips to make that happen: #1 - Make sure the buyer is excited when they drive up to your house. Is the driveway clean and free of distractions and hazards? Is the grass ... [Read more]


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The Kerala High Court on Monday held that the Ombudsman for local self-government institutions had no jurisdiction to entertain complaints regarding payment of money claimed by contractors or other agencies against local bodies.
Justice C.K. Abdul Rahem made the observation while quashing an order of the Ombudsman directing the Kulukkalloor panchayat in Palakkad to make payment to Raidco Kerala Ltd. for supplying certain materials to the panchayat.
The court said that according to the provisions of the Kerala Panchayat Raj Act, the Ombudsman could look into complaints of maladministration or corruption in the panchayat. The court said that in the instant case, the claim for money was not a matter coming under the purview of allegation of corruption or maladministration. The Ombudsman had no jurisdiction to adjudicate the claims for payment of money. The terms defined in the Act did not include claims for money, except compensation claims.


text:
- Shopping Bag ( 0 items )
Customer Reviews for
Easy To Do
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Posted July 6, 2012
Significant learning curve
Not particularly intuitive, annoying mechanical sound effects. There are lots of directions for each function, but overall, for the simple purpose of list making, this app is a lot of work.
6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
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I am trying to simulate a user behavior on Facebook through the org apache HttpClient and currently I am able to login into the user page (obviously having the username and password).
Now I would like to post a simple message on the wall through the common http call that the user makes when he/she clicks on the "submit" button.
I decoded some parts of the ajax call done to the "updatestatus.php" page but I wasn't able to publish into the stream.
My question is: Does anyone already successfully posted on the wall using this kind of process?
Just another note: I don't want to register an app for some special reasons.
Thank you C


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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Today's Horoscope
MOON ALERT Until 2:45 p.m. we have the all-clear to do business. The moon is in Aries.
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
An unexpected flirtation with your boss or someone in a position of authority might catch you off guard. (It will be thrilling.) Or, perhaps, you might be surprised by the fact someone approaches you to ask for your creative input about layout, design or furniture arrangement.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
Sudden opportunities to travel might fall in your lap. Similarly, an unexpected chance to pursue further education or get further training might also come to you. Whatever happens, know this: Your window of opportunity is brief so you will have to act fast. "Vite!"
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
The day's focus is on sex and money. Both these areas might hold surprises for you. An unexpected gift or offer from someone else or a chance to benefit yourself might arise. If so, act quickly. Obviously, a sexy opportunity might also arise. (That's your call.)
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
Relations with others, especially partners and close friends, might take a sudden turn for the better. Someone close to you might say or do something that surprises you. You might also find yourself jealous or quickly pleased. It's a fast-moving day.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
A work-related flirtation or romance might spring up. Something pleasant that is related to your job or your health will occur. You might get a raise or unexpected praise. Whatever the case, stay light on your feet and be ready to make the most of it. At the least, you might be surprised by a lovely dessert or treat. Yummers!
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Surprise romance might catch you unawares. (Be still my beating heart.) Love at first sight or unexpected flirtations might thrill. Surprising upsets in sports are likely. Something to do with the arts might equally amaze you. Note: This is an accident-prone day for your kids.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
You might spontaneously entertain someone at home because company suddenly knocks at your door. Others will discover good news related to real estate, home or family situations. You might also buy something high-tech or avant-garde for your home.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Something unexpected will occur that makes you realize how fortunate you are to be in the midst of beautiful surroundings and be around people who truly care for you. It will be like an epiphany -- a pleasant realization that makes you appreciate your world.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Be ready to act fast because unexpected opportunities to make money, boost your income or get a better job might arise. If so, you will have to act quickly because this window of opportunity is brief. (He who hesitates is miles away from the next exit.)
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
This is an exciting, stimulating day, especially with respect to relationships. You feel flirtatious and so do others. New experiences as well as brilliant, creative ideas will occur. You feel impulsive and ready for action. "Let the revelry begin!"
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
There is a hum of excitement underneath everything that you do. Perhaps you are stimulated by the anticipation of something in the immediate future. Perhaps unexpected news makes you elated about something. Whatever the case, it's not a boring day.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
A friend could become a lover. Or perhaps a friend will just surprise you in a delightful way with praise or a gift. You might also hook up with someone who is unusual and highly stimulating. Keep an open mind about others.
Prince Charles (1948) shares your birthday. You're interested in society and everything going on around you. Because you make an effort to study and learn in a thorough manner, others value your opinions. They trust you. You believe in the value of what you're doing and you do it not for your own glory, but for the results. This year you will work hard to build or construct something important.
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition November 14, 2013 A14
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Thieves make off with giant metal rooster; owners hope 'Rocket' doesn't end up in scrap heap12:03 PM 0
ATHENS, Ga. - Police are searching for whoever made off with Rocket the Rusty Rooster, a 10-foot-tall, 300-pound metal sculpture ...
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text:
Mar 28, 2015, 9:00am
Sarah Lawrence College
1 Mead Way, Bronxville NY 10708
Mar 28, 2015, 11:00am
Campbell Sports Center
Mar 28, 2015, 2:00pm-3:00pm
Teatown Lake Reservation
1600 Spring Valley Road, Ossining NY 10562
Every day at 7:00pm
St. John's Riverside Hospital
967 North Broadway, Yonkers NY 10701
Every day at 7:15pm
Galgano Center
55 Elm St, Sleepy Hollow NY 10591
Every day at 9:30am
Every Sunday, Friday, Saturday at 11:00am
Stone Barns Center for Food and Agriculture
630 Bedford Road, Pocantico Hills NY 10591
Every Sun, Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat at 10:00am-5:00pm
Every Saturday at 9:30am
James Galgano Center
Every Saturday at 9:00am
Temple Beth Abraham
25 Leroy Avenue, Tarrytown NY 10591
Ossining High School
29 S Highland Ave, Ossining, NY NY 10562
Every day at 8:30pm
Michael's Tavern
150 Bedford Rd, Pleasantville NY
Every day at 9:00am-12:00pm
145 Palisade Street, Dobbs Ferry NY 10522
Every day at 1:00pm-4:30pm
Every 7 days at 9:30am-4:30pm
Hank's Alley
25 Kaldinberg Place, Tarrytown NY 10591
Every Sun, Thu, Fri, Sat at 12:00pm
Open Concept Gallery
125 Main St,, Cold Spring NY 10516
Every day at 1:00pm-4:00pm
Every day at 4:00pm
Trinity Church Ossining
7 South Highland Ave., Ossining NY
Every day at 9:00am
Rachel Alexander Private String Studio
Ossining NY 10562
Every day at 7:30pm-9:00pm
Bessie Schönberg Dance Studio in the Performing Arts Center
Mar 28, 2015, 10:00am-5:00pm (until Mar 29, 2015)
Steamer Firehouse Gallery
117 Main St., Ossining NY
Mar 28, 2015, 9:00am-6:00pm (until Mar 29, 2015)
Warner Library
North Broadway, Tarrytown NY 10591
Mar 28, 2015, 1:00pm-3:00pm (until May 2, 2015)
Ossining Public Library
53 Croton Ave, Ossining NY 10562
Mar 28, 2015, 10:00am-11:00am (until May 26, 2015)
Addie-tude Performing Arts Center
42 Memorial Plaza, Pleasantville, NY NY 10570
Every 2 days at 6:00pm-9:00am
Antoine McGuire's
19 Main Street, Haverstraw NY 10927
Every day at 12:00am
Rose's School of Dance
338 Elwood Ave, Hawthorne NY 10532
New City Library
220 N. Main Street, New City NY 10956
John Whearty Theater, Westlake HIgh School
825 Westlake Drive , Thornwood NY 10594
Every day at 5:00pm-8:00pm
Studio A Gallery
52 Main Street, , Tarrytown NY 10591
PLESANTVILLE, N.Y. -- A creative workshop with Heather Harpham is among ...
WESTCHESTER COUNTY, N.Y. -- The Emelin Theatre in Mamaroneck is proud to ...
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Cartons Blackpool
(3) for Cartons in Blackpool
Tipo Graphic Packaging LtdUnit 1B, Squires Gate Ind Est, Squires Gate LaneFY4 3RN Blackpool01253 404142
... cartons, boxes, Boxes and Cartons, Boxes Cartons, box suppliers
Direct Paper Agents LtdUnit 2 Amy Johnson Court, Amy Johnson WayFY4 2RP Blackpool01253 403725Closed
Packaging wholesaler.
Request for Quotation
Are you looking for Packaging Materials & Equipment ?Use our "Request for Quotation" service to get customized offers from companies in Blackpool, tailored for your exact needs!
Nissim John LtdUnit 1B Squires Gate Indust Est, Squires Gate LaFY4 3RN Blackpool01253 404142
... crate, packaging services, custom packaging, containers, packing services
More results from the Packaging Materials & Equipment category
Elliott BoxCorner House, 24, Brookfield RoadFY5 4DT Thornton-Cleveleys01253 851929
... Boxes Cartons, Boxes and Cartons, CARTONS, BOXES, cardboard boxes
Johnsons CartonsWest Morland House, 160 Clifton Dr SouthFY8 1HG Lytham St Annes01253 721766
Family business established in 1935, 75 years ago, selling once used cardboard boxes and end of line overuns or seconds from some major manufacturers Based in preston, minutes from junction 32 of the ... box, boxes, packing boxes, PACKINGS, packaging, Cartons, removals boxes, Boxes and Cartons, MOVINGS
N Nicholson Box Co.ltdSiding RoadFY7 6NS Fleetwood+44 (0) 1253 873797
... Boxes and Cartons, boxes, cardboard boxes, cartons, box suppliers
Kirkham Box CoConway House, Richard StreetPR4 2HU Kirkham01772 685309
... boxes, Cartons, cardboard boxes, Boxes Cartons, Manufacture of paper containers
Tbm Marketing Limited18A London StreetPR9 0UE Southport
... Packaging Services
Boxes & PackagingGorse Lane TarletonPR4 6LH Tarleton01772 815 689
Boxes and Packaging provide complete corrugated and cardboard packaging solutions- both bespoke and standard packaging available.
Boxers & Packaging LtdGorse LanePR4 6LH Tarleton01772 816789
... Services, Packaging
PROFESSIONAL DISTRIBUTION SERVICES (INTERNATIONAL) LIMITEDChandler House, 7 Ferry Road Office ParkPR2 2YH Preston Ashton-On-Ribble
... Storage, Packaging Services
S & b Industrial Agencies36A Kew RdPR8 4HW Southport01704 569940
... Crates, Packaging Wrapping Equipment Supplies, supplies, packing services, wrapping equipment,...
Ann'e Bags LtdHillview Knoll LanePR4 4TB Little Hoole07796 942 290
... Packaging, Wholesaler
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text:
The clutch system transfers the power from the engine to the gears of your transmission. The main job of the clutch is to create a smooth engagement between the engine and the non-spinning transmission. The clutch engages the engine's flywheel. The clutch kit has many devices used to connect the transmission to the engine drive train. The kit involves the clutch disc, pressure plate, and release bearing. It is important to maintain your clutch kit because it can wear down easily.
If you own a BMW and are looking for a replacement part then you have come to the right place. Car Parts Warehouse offers a wide range of replacement car parts. You will find the BMW car parts you are looking for here at Car Parts Warehouse. Our car parts are tested to meet or exceed the industry standards. Customer satisfaction is our first priority.
We only sell quality parts to our customers. We are proud to be known across the internet for the superiority of our parts. At Car Parts Warehouse we have a vast collection of car parts for your BMW. You can purchase the BMW 545 clutch kit from the comfort of your home by placing the order online. All you need to do is enter the year of your BMW 545 and we will provide you with a list of parts that fit your vehicle.
We offer you the best parts at unbeatable prices. We have warehouses across the country and we will deliver your BMW clutch kit from the closest warehouse. We offer online deals and free shipping on orders over US $50. You can count on us for quality and service. You can call our toll free 1-800-565-5021 support line to get any assistance or mail your questions to email@example.com.
Part Search
Contact Us
Site Map
Copyright 2015 Car Parts Warehouse.com All Rights Reserved.


text:
The staff at the Mona Lisa made my first visit to Costa Rica an absolute pleasure. Guy and Helmut are laser focused on the customer, providing each guest with courteous and timely responses to every request. In fact, the entire staff was a pleasure to interface with and aimed to please each guest.
Helmut made travel easy by arranging a taxi driver to pick me up at the airport, followed by daily excursions to the rainforest, zip lining and a rental car to visit Jaco Beach.
Guy made the neighborhood familiar by arranging a personal walking tour of the local restaurants and bars.
I highly recommend a professional massage with Yorleny. She is a true professional with classic training in several types of therapeutic massage. Without question, the best one hour massage value I will probably ever experience and it was only $40 plus tip. (Compare to $160 at a resort/spa).
The Hotel Mona Lisa is the perfect hotel for the solo traveler on vacation or business. The location is a convenient pivoting point to experience the city and surrounding area.
Thank you for exceeding my expectations and I hope to see you in May/June when I return.
Washington, DC
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- Mona Lisa Hotel and Casino is strategically located in the historic neighborhood of Barrio Amon in San Jose near the Fanancial Center of the Capital. It is close to cultural attractions, entertainment and only 25 minutes away from the Juan Santamaria International Airport. The property features 87 magnificant rooms, distributed in a four staries building including 21 Deluxe Rooms. A very inviting hotel with distinguished Costa Rica Style. ... more less
- Reservation Options:
- TripAdvisor is proud to partner with Otel so you can book your Hotel Mona Lisa reservations with confidence. We help millions of travelers each month to find the perfect hotel for both vacation and business trips, always with the best discounts and special offers.
- Also Known As:
- Hotel Mona Lisa Costa Rica/San Jose


text: Everybody wants to know what's to become of the iconic little market on the corner of Division and Henry streets in Sag Harbor. Since the 1930s, this building has provided the community with an easy, casual spot to grab meals or linger over the paper. Chef Paul Del Favero and his wife Susana Plaza Del Favero want to keep that heritage alive with Harbor Market, offering a revitalized menu that takes into account the local, seasonal, and health-conscious demands of the community.


text:
Christie Blatchford: In the education world, there may have been no bigger deal than Benjamin Levin — professor, ex-deputy minister, world-travelling lecturer
A U.S. man convicted of child sex and listed on a sex offender registry was somehow granted citizenship in Canada, allowing him to flee even more charges
The police probe ended with the smashing of what was described as the largest commercial child porn ring in Canada and which led to hundreds of arrests
Benjamin Levin was a well-respected professor of education and a former deputy minister in two provinces before he was arrested in July 2013
Knowing legal boundaries will serve young people well. Consent is important. Self-respect is most important of all.
No statute explicitly prohibits taking and distributing a photo of an adult in a sexual situation without consent.
The law may be an ass, but it shouldn't be an idiot.
'You can't just sit quietly and let this thing go away. That would be so unfair to [my daughter], to me, to her memory, to her family and everything'
The girl's father, who can't be identified under a statutory publication ban, said he plans to attend the sentencing of the accused
'I broke the … publication ban & wasn't charged because the ban wasn't meant to protect [victim's name]. It protects a broken justice system,' wrote the victim's father


text:
Tannery Townhouse
No availability found through our partners. Please contact the business directly or check some of our recommended alternatives.
Photos of Tannery Townhouse
TripAdvisor Reviews Tannery Townhouse Dungarvan
Travel Blogs from Dungarvan
A book, a boy and a bike...and soup.
... He was asking would I like some free soup. What a sweetheart! And yes I would.� I sat in the warmth for a while before heading back to the campsite.� When I got there, I saw my campsite worker friend coming up to me...with a book that she wanted me to have. Kindness everywhere!! I talked to her for a while before settling for a very long period in the sauna to relieve my leg of whatever I have done to it.� Lisa ...
Day 12 - Rosslare (Wexford) to Dungarvan
... keeping up with closer friends and family. I also keep in my mind the memory of Donald, who lost his battle to cancer a few years ago in his early 40s leaving behind a young family. Donald became a friend after he did all 9 days of the very first Kerry Way Walk in 2006. Again I lost contact with him only to hear after the event that he had passed on. Anyway, I have spent the past 12 days looking at my feet and willing them to keep pumping through the toughest moments and ...
Be 'prepared.'
... travel blog is :-).
I also have decided there might, just might be a few people I am going to miss, maybe....if I really think hard..... The three tossers from outside of Dungarvan gave me a card the other day, in fairness I think it is only because they want a postcard, but, even so it brings tear to my eye and I shall (maybe) miss them a small bit, sniff, sniff.
As I said this trip is going to go just fine, if I don't get ...
Foxhunts, Strange Graves & Old Castles
... we slowed down in the middle to allow me to take a photo of the end of a foxhunt, with a dozen or more riders walking their horses through the river to cool them down. Of course no fox hunt is complete without the hounds and there were dozens of them being rounded up to the sound of a bugle, seriously folks, this was like something straight out of a movie! I'm so glad we got to see it - it made our day.
Jail then Some Jameson
... interesting to hear about how the people were treated back in the day. After the jail we wondered around the city to kill some time. Later that night we went to a comedy show at the Craic House (craic is a term for fun, big difference between craic and crack!). The pub was an "old mans" pub and all the comedians enjoyed using "yanks" in their jokes.
On Sunday ...


text:
My "Chique" DIY Embellishment
I love coming across an unexpected treasure. The other night while Matt & I were strolling down Armitage Ave, after our dinner date, we popped into American Apparel, just for kicks. Not only were they having a sale on bikinis, but I spotted a must have accessory. I have been wanting just a basic black triangle top bathing suit for our island escape and they had the perfect one, score! Then my wondering eye caught a glimpse of all the goodness hanging on their back wall. Loads and load of leather & suede pouches in every color, multiple shapes & various sizes. My heart stopped momentarily!
Some of you might remember the Clare Vivier clutch I was coveting around the time of my birthday, right? Like the one below.
As much as I love the designer bag, it is not in the budget, but I can certainly justify the price for the gorgeous supple "Made in the USA" leather pouch from American Apparel. I could have taken one of each in every color in both medium and large, but instead I resisted. Finally, after much deliberation, I choose the luscious Laguna shade with a contrasting zipper. In fact, I wore it out of the store as I was over the moon with my new purchase.
Now, here comes the DIY embellishment part. Later, I remembered that I had 3 spools of crochet yarn left over from one of our crafting projects years ago. I could vaguely remember the shades, so last night I went digging. I was stunned, it was meant to be, the blue string we had was an exact match to my new clutch.
Could I make a tassel to hang from the zipper? I have never made a tassel before, but surely my mother had back in the day, so with the help of this
You Tube video, I was on my way! In fact, after the first one, I dug out some old suede and made a second one, it is really that simple. We didn't have any crochet hooks hanging around the Nolan house, but I do have an in house handy man, so I asked Matt to carve one for me out of an old chop stick. Worked like a charm for the bigger suede one and I used a needle to thread through the turquoise string. For those of you who have never made a tassel before, you will understand once you see the video. For you other crafty readers, you already know why the hook is so important!
Now, my super cute leather pouch is the ultimate in "ChiqueNess", right? In fact, I think it will get even better with age as the leather wrinkles and wears. But, I have been contemplating, do you think I need a third tassel? I am of the mentality that in design odds are better than evens, so I think I may add another. If so, what color? Or is it just because the boys are away and I am looking for things to do? Thoughts?
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Short Cuts
St. Angelo, who was one of the early members of the Carmelite Order, suffered martyrdom for the Faith at Leocata, Sicily. The story of his life, as it has come down, is not very reliable. It may be summarized as follows: His parents were Jews of Jerusalem who were converted to Christianity by a vision of our Lady. She told them that the Messiah they were awaiting had already come to pass and had redeemed His people, and she promised them two sons, who would grow up as flourishing olive trees on the heights of Carmel-the one as a patriarch and the other as a glorious martyr. From childhood the twins displayed great mental and spiritual gifts when, at the age of eighteen, they entered the Carmelite Order, they already spoke Greek, Latin, and Hebrew. After Angelo had been a hermit on Mount Carmel for five years, Our Lord appeared to him and bade him go to Sicily, where he would have the grace to offer the sacrifice of his life. The saint immediately obeyed the call. During his journey from the East as well as after his arrival in Sicily, he converted many sinners by his teaching, no less than by his miracles. At Palermo over two hundred Jews sought Baptism as the result of his eloquence. Similar success attended his efforts in Leocata, but he aroused the fury of a man called Berengarius, whose shameless wickedness he had denounced. As he was preaching to a crowd, a band of ruffians headed by Berengarius broke through the throng and stabbed him. Mortally wounded, Angelo fell on his knees, praying for the people, but especially for his murderer.
St. Josephine Bakhita was born in Sudan in 1869. This African flower, who knew the anguish of kidnapping and slavery, bloomed marvelously in Italy, in response to God's grace, with the ... continue reading
The second Gospel was written by St. Mark, who, in the New Testament, is sometimes called John Mark. Both he and his mother, Mary, were highly esteemed in the early Church, and his mother's ... continue reading
Karol J. Wojtyla, known as John Paul II since his October 1978 election to the papacy, was born in Wadowice, a small city 50 kilometres from Cracow, on May 18, 1920. He was the second of ... continue reading
Dominican preacher and missionary crusader. A native of Bergamo, Italy, he joined the Dominicans in 1319 and soon distinguished himself as a brilliant preacher, attracting huge crowds throughout ... continue readingMore Saint of the Day
St. Monica was married by arrangement to a pagan official in North Africa, who was much older than she, and although generous, was also violent tempered. His mother Lived with them and was equally difficult, which proved a constant challenge to St. Monica. She had ... continue readingMore Female Saints
St. Michael the Archangel - Feast day - September 29th The name Michael signifies "Who is like to God?" and was the warcry of the good angels in the battle fought in heaven against satan and his followers. Holy Scripture describes St. Michael as "one of the chief ... continue reading
The name Gabriel means "man of God," or "God has shown himself mighty." It appears first in the prophesies of Daniel in the Old Testament. The angel announced to Daniel the prophecy of the seventy weeks. His name also occurs in the apocryphal book of Henoch. He was the ... continue reading
St. John Vianney, Priest (Patron of priests) Feast day - August 4 Universally known as the "Cure of Ars)," St. John Mary Vianney was ordained a priest in 1815. Three years later he was made ... continue reading
Saint Birgitta was the daughter of Uppland�s Lagman, Birger Petersson and his wife, Ingeborg, who was a member of the same clan as the reigning family. Birgitta�s family was pious; her father went to ... continue reading
By Alex Basile
Every carpenter must practice patience. We can learn important lessons from the wood shop in Nazareth from the humble Saint Joseph. I have always been a "do it yourself" type of guy thanks to my father. My dad is always a steady presence during my home-improvement ... continue readingMore Christian Saints & Heroes


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tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74385752733125738232015-02-21T14:06:12.338-08:00Rob CakebreadPython, Linux, SysAdmin, No-M Radio, DIY Rock, Broadcast Audio LiveRob email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-7438575273312573823.post-9690823896174709752015-02-17T14:15:00.002-08:002015-02-21T14:06:12.356-08:00Hardware Icecast source - Gigcaster
I've been working on a portable audio device used by radio stations to do remote broadcasts instead of using a laptop. I call it a Gigcaster. It can also be paired with a custom phone app for bands to broadcast directly to their listeners or they can embed an audio player on their own website.

I'm going to show you how to use a USB microphone or audio interface with a Raspberry Pi to broadcast to an Icecast server by simply turning on the device. The only configuration is for your Icecast server (host/password etc.).

In future articles, I'll show you how to turn your Raspberry Pi into a voice controlled audio recorder, how to set the WiFi by turning it into a hotspot and using your cell phone and web interface on the device to set the password.

To provision the Raspberry Pi, we'll use resin.io, an Internet of Things company. Resin.io makes it easy to build, deploy and monitor devices such as the Raspberry Pi and Beagle Bone. You use git to push code to your device using Docker containers.

First, sign up for a free account on resin.io, create an app and download the zip file. Unzip the file onto a fat32 formatted SD card. Plug the card into your Raspberry Pi connected to the internet and it will install the base OS with Docker.

While it's doing that, create a directory with a file called Dockerfile with these contents:

FROM resin/rpi-raspbian

MAINTAINER Rob Cakebread "firstname.lastname@example.com"

RUN HOST=icecast.com && \
 PORT=8000 && \
 PASSWD=abc && \
 MOUNT=stream && \
 apt-get update && \

 apt-get -y install vorbis-tools sox alsa-tools alsa-utils oggfwd && \
 echo "sox -t alsa hw:CARD=1,0 -t aif - | oggenc -o - --bitrate 128 - | oggfwd ${HOST} ${PORT} ${PASSWD} ${MOUNT}" > /usr/local/bin/stream.sh && \
 chmod +x /usr/local/bin/stream.sh && \
 cat /usr/local/bin/stream.sh

CMD ["stream.sh"]
Edit the variables for HOST, PORT, PASSWD and MOUNT for your Icecast server.

Now add your Dockerfile:

git init .
 git remote add email@example.com:USER/APPNAME.git

git add Dockerfile

git commit -m "Initial commit."
git push resin master

In your resin.io dashboard, you'll see the actual git URL you'll use for the 'git remote add' part.

This is going to push your code to resin.io, where it will cross-compile our code, install the application on your Raspberry Pi and run it. It will take about 10 minutes or so. You can watch the progress on the resin.io dashboard.

When it's done, simply plug a mic or audio interface to your Raspberry Pi, turn it on and it will start streaming audio automatically.

My new company, Gigcaster, sells Gigcaster devices using aircraft aluminum cases with several additional features including a phone number for each device so it can be controlled via text message, recording and uploading audio to Dropbox, sending notifications to Android phones just before going live with a link to the Icecast URL etc.

We also sell inexpensive Icecast server subscriptions used with liquidsoap servers to mix and fade in and out audio when connecting to a live stream.

Rob email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-7438575273312573823.post-65727351899827779402015-01-26T13:09:00.000-08:002015-01-26T13:13:48.997-08:00Burger Radio ShowAn excerpt of my new show on Burger Radio, Hope I Live Before I Get Old.

The first song (Backbiter w/ Curt Anderson) was recorded on a prototype Gigcaster a couple of years ago.

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Rob firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-7438575273312573823.post-68802140771876369262014-12-11T18:13:00.002-08:002014-12-11T18:14:17.249-08:00Gigcaster hiring in L.A. - Python / SysAdmin / Music
A few months ago I created a start-up called Gigcaster. We produce a handheld device for broadcasting audio live on the internet. I've been testing and demonstrating the device around Los Angeles with bands, dj's, record labels, studios and radio stations. We're about to launch our site and do a private beta test soon.

I don't expect to hire until the first quarter of 2015, but I'm looking for local skilled Python coders and Linux systems administrators, particularly if you're interested in live music.

Our data center and office are located in downtown Los Angeles. Please send resumes or inquiries to my last name at gmail.com.

Rob firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-7438575273312573823.post-52808954984929205332012-12-31T16:12:00.003-08:002013-01-03T14:30:15.256-08:00When Spammers Attack, Make MusubiMusubi is a little tool I wrote to check your mail servers' reputation on DNSBLs. There are quite a few of these scripts out there, but this one does more than simply check a list of DNSBLs.

Unlike other scripts I found, when musubi finds an IP listed on a DNSBL, it also queries for a DNS TXT record to find the reason you were blacklisted.

Finding all your mail servers' IPs can be a little confusing. Musubi will take a domain name, find the MX records, give you all the IPS for the servers and make sure the reverse DNS (PTR) is correct. It also fetches SPF TXT records.

Normally, you'd use a tool like 'dig' to figure this all out. I wanted something the average person can use without needing to use multiple 'dig' commands.

If you work for an ISP or web hosting company, you can throw a whole range of IPs at Musubi for your shared hosting using CIDR notation.

Most ISPs and web hosting companies have their own internal tools for this, but you may want to take a look at Musubi if you used threads. Musubi uses gevent and is very fast (hundreds of DNSBL lookups in seconds) thanks to some borrowed code from Vince Carney's dnsbl.py.

Musubi uses cliff for the command-line framework and is easily extensible. Web front-end with scheduled checks, Twilio SMS notification etc. are coming next.

I wrote most of this while helping a friend in a panic fix his company's PTR records and add an SPF record for his mail servers that were getting blacklisted, so it's a bit messy and un-tested. 0.1 is available on Github and PyPi

 https://github.com/cakebread/musubi
 http://pypi.python.org/pypi/musubi

Rob email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-7438575273312573823.post-80465258492500850322012-04-04T15:35:00.000-07:002012-04-04T19:52:44.435-07:00Twerp 0.0.5 ReleasedI'm excited to announce Twerp 0.0.5 is available. Twerp is the telephone hackers toolkit. It's a command-line app for Twilio written in Python.

New features in 0.0.5:

from the command-line:

Voice conferences: create, join, list conferences and participants

Buy new phone numbers with basic searching by area code or phrase

Account management: list, rename and create new Twilio sub-accounts

Application management: list your Twilio Apps

Twerp exposes a lot of the Twilio API, so you have to be careful if you're using a live account. You can cancel all calls in progress for example, re-route calls etc.

Use a Twilio Sub-Account

Creating a Twilio sub-account with just one or two phone numbers for testing will save you a lot of headaches.

First, create a new Twilio sub-account:

$ twerp --create-sub-account Testing

$ twerp --list-accounts

cakebread
ACnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Testing
ACnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Now if you login to twilio.com, you'll see a drop-down box where your Master account name was (usually your email address):

Replace the master Twilio ACCOUNT_SID and AUTH_TOKEN in ~/.twerprc with your new sub-account information and you're all set.

 Now you can buy a number for that sub-account:

$ twerp --area-code 310

 +1 310-555-1212
 ...
 ...

$ twerp --buy +13105551212

And annoy your co-workers with your new phone number:

 $ twerp -d 213-555-9999 --say 'Hi, this is twerp. Good bye.'

Rob email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-7438575273312573823.post-44046185835671966552012-02-06T22:07:00.000-08:002012-02-07T21:30:40.617-08:00Yolk developmentI released 0.4.3 last night because 0.4.2 was missing some documentation and license files. I may release a 0.4.4 this week. This release will contain some user-submitted patches.

Today in yolk development:

Tox for testing yolk with Python 2.6, 2.7 and 3.2.

py.test for unit tests

Jenkins for continuous integration (using Tox and py.test)

git-flow for managing it all

I'm still configuring Jenkins to do everything I want, but it's been working great with Tox + py.test, so far. [Edit: Jenkins is up at http://cakebread.info/jenkins]

The current code base will become 1.0 soon. This branch will support Python <=2.5 and may or may not get new features from the upcoming 2.0 branch.

The 2.0 branch (origin/develop on github) will work with both Python 2 and Python 3.

Rob firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-7438575273312573823.post-82379472076228468882012-02-05T21:57:00.000-08:002012-02-07T21:30:56.110-08:00I've released yolk 0.4.2!

yolk 0.4.2 is a bug fix release in preparation for supporting both Python 2 and 3. Yes, it's time to get yolk off of the Python3 Wall of Shame.

I'm using gitflow to manage yolk's release and it is working great, so far.

Two bug fixes:

 --entry-map patch from Jesus Rivero (Neurogeek)

Fix for -C if you don't supply an integer

I've also switched to the BSD license from the GPL-2.

I'm working my way through some old bug reports and should have 0.4.3 out shortly.

The 'develop' branch on github is going to be used for the Python2/3 version.Rob firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-7438575273312573823.post-76701488541098726822012-01-17T12:48:00.000-08:002012-01-17T12:58:35.469-08:00twerp - Command-line tool for Twilio hackersI released twerp 0.0.4 today. Here's what you can do with twerp from the command-line today:

 Send and receive SMS text messages

Make voice calls and conference calls

List all calls in progress, ringing or queued

Enter interactive mode after initiating call and controlling call flow live

Tail your Twilio API error log from the command-line!

List all your Twilio phone numbers and detailed info about each

Show log entries for given SID

I'm going to make a screencast showing how to use twerp to start a phone call, go into interactive mode and control the flow of the call by issuing commands.

Here's an example:

twerp --dial +12135551212 --say "Hi, this is twerp calling. How are you?" --interactive
 twerp (CA3j...043) >> forward +18005551212
twerp (CA3j...043) >> url http://server.com/some_twiml.xml
twerp (...) >> list

Ringing: CAaaec865YADAYADA68c4a864ec

twerp (CA209...9ec) >> hangup
Call hung up.

There's not much point in making a TODO now, because twerp has barely covered a fraction of the Twilio API. That said, it's already very useful for hacking on Twilio, understanding how call flow works with TwiML, checking your Twilio logs etc.

In the near future:

Put your TwiML in ~/.twerp/twiml/ and you can execute it without uploading it to a server (it simply uses the Twimlet for echoing TwiML).

Easier conference calling with interactive control from the command-line or via touchpad

Distribute-based plugin system using entry points so you can make your own command-line applications based on twerp, installable with pip.

Rob email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-7438575273312573823.post-5072574928057984172012-01-06T13:26:00.000-08:002012-01-06T13:26:56.392-08:00Guided by Tones - a Guided by Voices Useless InventionGuided by Tones is a little project I made to celebrate the release of the new Guided by Voices album with the original line-up.

Some of the sound clips are from Robert Pollard's "Relaxation of the Asshole" album.

 +1 877-860-0GBV or +1 877-860-0428

Rob firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-7438575273312573823.post-82892181707293779412012-01-05T14:45:00.000-08:002012-01-05T14:49:29.696-08:00twerp a Twilio command-line client for 2012twerp is my Twilio command-line client written in Python. I'm releasing it early, but have a ton of features in the works. This is my Twilio hacker DOer tool for 2012, so I may be entering it in their contest. Or, as I guess they'd say, I'm drawing fucking owls!

Current features in 0.0.1:

Send and receive SMS text messages on the command line
List your Twilio phone numbers with details about each (ACCOUNT_SID, various URLs etc.)
Check your logs by message ID to see if it sent successfully
 Feature plans in the works:

 Initiate calls from the command line and directing them to TWIML (due later today!)
 Full featured text messaging GUI using urwid curses library on the command line
Generate TWIML on the command-line and launch a Flask app for quick testing and prototyping
 Python Distribute based plugin system so you can extend twerp with separate Python pacakges
Rob email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-7438575273312573823.post-26952956808374172022011-12-01T18:46:00.001-08:002012-01-05T13:43:15.958-08:00Moving yolk to githubToday I moved yolk to github. I've committed a few long overdue patches and hope to make a quick 0.4.2 release soon.

History

In 2006 I added a setuptools ebuild to Gentoo Linux. This amazing new tool allowed us to install Python packages and their dependencies right from the Python Package Index. And make a mess of your system if you use easy_install instead of your distribution's package manager to install Python pacakges. But I had a plan.

As a Gentoo developer and Python package maintainer, I'm responsible for watching bugzilla for Python package bugs. I wanted to add this amazing new tool to Gentoo as an official ebuild, but I had a feeling it may be used by people who didn't want to write an ebuild or wait for a 'version bump' of a package.

Trying to determine which Python packages were installed via a Linux distribution's package manager and which were installed with easy_install became an early goal of yolk. I learned about entry points from reading nose's source and made yolk plugin-based. The first plugin showed which packages were installed via Gentoo's portage system and which were installed via setuptool's easy_install.

After adding basic functions like showing you which Python packages were installed locally, I added XML-RPC support to query the Python Package Index at pypi.python.org. This let me check if newer versions of packages were available. I was also able to start another project, g-pypi, a tool for creating ebuilds from any Python package in the Python Package Index. This worked great and g-pypi later became a Google Summer of Code project.

I learned a lot from writing yolk. It was one of my first Test Driven Design projects in Python and I really enjoyed learning to code with that technique. I have no doubt the relatively small number of bugs discovered after the earlier releases was due to using TDD.

Now

I've moved yolk to github, grab a fork and dig in.

Future

I'm going to be thinking in terms of how to make yolk more useful with virtualenv. For instance, virtualenv's 'lssitepackages' is like 'yolk -l', but only for that specific virtualenv. I may try to make yolk more virtualenv-aware so you can see which packages in a specific virtualenv have upgrades available, for instance. There's a few things I'd have done differently. All of the lower case commands in yolk query your local Python packages on your system. All of the upper case commands query The Python Package Index. This should have been two separate libraries and a command-line tool. The name 'yolk' doesn't make a lot of sense these days with all the non-egg things yolk does and the decline of the egg package format.Rob email@example.com


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