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I feel like I am annoying you all...but...
SS is doing it again. :(
I do not know how to get through to him, and quite frankly, I do not think DH or I are equipped to help him. He needs a professional counselor, and the one he HAS seen in the past is not helping IMO. He needs someone who speicalizes in alcoholism AND parental alientation.
So we went to DD's softball game this am as a family and SS got upset *for some reason* as we were leaving. I THINK it was because all the softball players got gum and he didn't. He has the hardest time processing his emotions. He was upset (over gum, silly, yes, but this is all how he works, and I think it has to do with his mom's parenting---he over-reacts to the smallest things)
He never SAID he was angry but he asked DD where she got the gum, and as soon as she said from her coach, his face darkened and he just went into one of his "moods." He griped all to the car about this and that--even though he had a great time at the game, playing w/other sibs, chugging Gatorade, etc.
We got in the car and he started in about how he is stupid, he is ugly, no one likes him. DD said "I love you" and he got SO ANGRY. He started crying saying she was being mean to him???? DH said "what are you talking about, she just said she loves you?" And then SS got even more angry, and continued griping about things and finally DH said "I do not want to hear any more of your negativity. When we get home, if you don't have anything kind to say, or are going to ruin everyone's day, you can go to your room until you are ready to be kind."
And SS responded in this cool, calculating voice, "Well, dad, you spank me a thousand times a day, and I will tell my mom that and she'll be angry."
DH and I about flew through the roof. Niether of us said anything then---but when we got home, we brought SS to the family room and DH confronted him. WE JUST WENT THROUGH this yesterday about making false allegations, and the severity of what can happen---ie, police at the dooor, people coming to talk to the kids, etc.
I now wonder if he DID tell his mom all this BS about me grabbing his arm and bruising him. He vehemently denies it---but guess what---he vehemently denied saying what he said in the car about DH spanking him a thousand times.
I mean---is this child mentally ill? I am not saying that in a mean way, I am really beginning to wonder. DH and I were flabbergasted! DH said, ___, you told me in the car that I spank you a thousand times and you are going to tell your mom" and SS kept crying and saying, "no, I didn't!"
The scary thing is---it seems he believes himself???? Like, he really thinks he did not?
I am almost positive NOW that he DID tell his mother that I hurt him, and bruised him.
I am SCARED of this child---not him, but of what he can and will say, and what his mother will do.
Again, the TRUTH is on our side, but that won't stop us from having to deal with false allegations, police, CPS and more.
I just feel like this is going from bad to worse by the minute.
No need to repond with anything, really, except maybe chin up? I have gotten great advice in all my other posts, and I feel like I just keep writing about the same darn thing.
Wow, I had a flash in my mind from that movie "the good son" as i was reading this.
Yes, he needs counseling or professional intervention. I would be terrified of being around him, but then that gives him all the power now, doesn't it? He has figured out how to control everyone.. make everyone fear him. His words are so powerful, the adults fear him. SCARY!
The only thing I can say is don't react to his 'threat'. I would give him no response.. maybe acknowledge with a casual 'really?' and change the subject. He gets a reaction from telling his mom stuff.
Part of me wants to say, tell him he won't be allowed to spend any time alone with anyone because he says these things and nobody can be alone so they can't hurt him or be accused of hurting him. but I don't know if that is the right thing to say... it's true, but not sure if you tell a 6-7 year old that.
love ... he was not the center of attention ... negative attention is better than sitting by watching someone else get something and you get nothing.
she got gum he didn't
she had a game he didn't
he is just being selfish ... and he knows how to push dad's and your buttons to get the attention he wants.
Give him the number to call CPS and the police Dept if he thinks he is being treated that unfairly.
We have a list hanging in the kitchen ...
SD10's numbers
cps caseworker
our cable got shut off ... no money for 12 weeks ... SD10 called CPS because she couldn't watch disney channel at our house.
Don't let him know CPS and the police scare the crap out of you ....
blow it off act like no big deal it will die out ... our CPS worker called SD's mom and told her to put SD back in counseling and to discuss with her what real abuse is.
"I mean---is this child mentally ill?"
Based on everything you have posted here and on other posts, I'd say yes. The depth of it, I have no idea. But this sounds like more than jealousy, trouble processing emotions, etc. He sounds highly manipulative. Maybe it's caused by his mother's "parenting", I don't know. But I think this kid has problems that can't be addressed by you and your DH alone.
You don't want to over-empower SS by showing that his words get to you -- but you don't want to ignore him or avoid him either. It's just so hard to parent 'normally' when the other household won't cooperate!
I know that now I'm the one sounding repetitive, but read that book! (Divorce Poison)
SS needs to acknowledge that his BM is behaving badly -- acknowledge it to himself and to you. He probably sees it at some level and knows what she's doing is wrong. That what he's doing is wrong. But until you all have the words to explain it and talk about it, the whole thing remains trapped in a frustrating, wordless mess. And as someone who once lived in a place where I couldn't speak the language -- If you don't have the words for a thought, it's really hard to hang onto that thought long enough to process it. SS needs to have the words for what BM is doing and why she is acting the way she is. And he needs to have the words available to understand why he wants to please her and that he doesn't want to hurt you either -- and that those two things can't both be true at the same time.
This is what Divorce Poison is so good at -- At helping you help SS without going to the point where you're bad-mouthing BioMom.
I think there are a few things going on here. You have BM and her alcohol problems, plus I think you also have a bit of jealousy too. Some of the envy is probably normal sibling stuff, but then there's the part that came out about him being ugly... and him getting angry over the "I love you" from his sister. She is fortunate enough to have an intact family and he doesn't. He probably wonders why she gets a mom and dad and not have to be schlepped back and forth like him. Just a thought and I know you can't change his situation.
You are not annoying us at all lovehadley....dont worry.
I think your ss is going through alot of emotional termoil and the effects of an alcohol mom are starting to surface. The fact that he focused on something so simple, he didn't get chewing gum is the neglect he truly feels from mom. That she uses him as a pawn against you guys. That she is sooooo focused on money and court issues that she is not 'living' her life with her son when the time comes with him. Its sad.
you need to get him another councilor for kids who have parents who are alcohols and maybe another one for step issues....but i am betting its mostly due to alcoholism.
Kids will always deny things even when caught red handed...thats normal.
Its normal to be jealous as well....sibling rivalry is normal. Many above have posted this asw ell... And i agree with Sweeby. His vocabulary and understanding of the whole situation is limited and he needs to understand and put words to his situation.
He needs a councilor. A different one and soon. And he needs to understand he can't jerk people around with police issues either. Maybe his mother truly beleives him and then he recants the story...its an attention thing. But by bring him to a psychologist will also show on record that he needs a higher step now. And the police and cps will see the kids has issues.. just as his mom does. Its sad. I'm sorry loveh that you have to go through this....
Make sure your daughter feels acknowledged for saying she loved her brother adn that he didn't mean the things he was saying....
"... SD10 called CPS because she couldn't watch disney channel at our house."
"Well, dad, you spank me a thousand times a day, and I will tell my mom that and she'll be angry."
Oh my god! I can not even imagine the girls acting the way some of the skids on this board act! The girls get spanked. Straight up I will say it....THEY GET A BUTT WHOOPIN whenever they are disrespectful to adults or they do something they know they shouldn't have. If they ever pulled stunt like Psuedo's SD did I think J might kill them.
I'm sorry but I think there is something to be said for kids who get spanked. I know alot of folks say it's permanently damaging and NAH NAH NAH. Whatever. These kids are ALREADY spoiled and disgusting. A spanking couldn't do anything but help....lol. I don't buy mental illness in kids this young. I think 7 out of 10 of these kids are just freakin rotten and think they are grown @$$ adults by age 8.
Sorry about the rant and I know I'll have at least 8 people give me the statistics on the life damaging affects of physical punishment. Might as well save your breath. Spanking is part of our culture and religion here.
"Spare the rod, spoil the child"
I think you should definitely find a new counselor if the current one is not working out.
He does sound like he has some real issues. The false allegations are a scary thing, but it sounds like you are doing right by documenting everything. Keep on doing that. this is also where a good counselor would be a help too as far as being able to back up the false allegations.
We had to deal with this when my ss was in grade school. He made false allegations to the school, who called CPS. It is nerve wracking. My ss was/is highly manipulative, deceptive, and loved to triangulate adults. By the time I ended up pregnant with our now 6 year old dd, we had full blown PTSD from dealing with him. We sent him back to his mom, out of fear for the baby and my son. It was just too much. He needed a group home, but we could not afford one at that time. Insurance wouldn't cover it.
Hang in there, I know how tough it can be, and just document document document. I know it saved our butts.
You said he was very angry in an exploding manner and then switched to a cold calculating voice?? Doesn't "remember" and denies saying it???
First thing that popped in my head? - reminds me of an old movie I saw a long time ago - Sybil. Maybe not multiple personality disorder but perhaps some sort of a dissociative disorder. What kind of a counselor does he see?
Gerina, it is not intact family.
DD is lovehadley's daughter, she is not her DH's daughter. I mean he is her stepfather (although he is more of a father to her), I mean technically he is not her dad. So SS is no different than DD in this situation. In fact SS is better off here. He has both mom and dad, but DD's biodad is not in the picture. I am not trying to minimize DH's role as DD's father, just trying to clarify that this could not be a reason for jealousy.
What you might be missing, while DD is not her DH's bio daughter, her DD lives with LH and her DH as if they are an intact family. Yes, her DD's bio father is out of the picture so her DD is not subjected to going back and forth between two homes like SS is. LH & her DH provide a stable home for her DD and it is more like an intact family.
SS on the other hand, is going between two very different homes. Yes, he has both bio parents in his life but he goes from dad's (stable loving home) to mom's (unstable alcoholic with relationship problems and a new baby) and there are probably jealousy issues for SS in BOTH homes. He sees LH's DD living a quiet, carefree childhood in a loving home while he has to go to his mom's every other week and deal with mom getting drunk (or not knowing when mom is gonna get drunk again), mom punching people when she's drunk, mom fighting with her husband, having a new baby around is hard on most kids as well... so there's a lot going on in SS's life and he probably doesn't feel like he fits in anywhere and to boot, his mom is probably trying to coach him into wanting to live with her because they are now in a custody battle.
I don't see how you can say SS is better off here, unless you are saying that it's more important for a kid to have both bio parents, even if one is an unstable nut, in the picture than a stable life with one bio parent out of the picture.
Yeah, I have to agree that, especially from SS's point of view, DD does have an intact family. In the 5+ years DH and I have been together, SS has not once asked "where or who is DD's dad?" It's like he doesn't even consider that she does have one.
I think SS feels very different from other kids he knows who don't go back/forth between homes. DH is actually looking into some sort of group counseling for SS where he could meet with other kids in similar situations.
"In fact SS is better off here. He has both mom and dad, but DD's biodad is not in the picture"
I totally disagree. Yes, the fact that DD's bio-dad is not in the picture will bring its own set of issues for DD down the road, it is not an issue now. She calls my DH dad. At this point in time, SHE feels she has a mom and a dad, and really, for all intents and purposes, she does.
Not saying that she won't feel some hurt/abandonment/sadness/anger as she gets older and wonder why BD was not around. I think she will but it is my hope that by raising her well, and giving her love and stability, she will continue to be confident and happy, and will be able to face those issues productively. Maybe she will even have a relationship with BD in the future.
But for now, she lives in one house, with one mom, one "dad," etc. SS is getting ready to start his third school in three years. :( DD is getting ready to start her third year at the SAME school. And not to toot my own horn too much, but I like to think I do a pretty good job of raising her to feel confident, with good morals, and that I exemplify good behavior standards for her. SS certainly doesn't get that from his BM, instead he lives in a chaotic, and "sick" environment with her. It's really sad because we have two kids, the same age, but due to circumstances out of DH's control, SS is having a very different childhood than DD.
kkny -- children do get jealous. But it is not just on the custodial parent to make sure that the children see the other parent. The noncustodial parent needs to make sure they spend as much time as possible with the child, stay involved in the child's life, and most importantly, when the child visits, make sure they spend plenty of 1-on-1 time with the child. I know some people disagree and think that the visiting child should just blend into the existing family routine, but if the parent does not ensure alone time necessary to build a strong bond and sense of security in the child, that jealousy will almost always be there and create larger problems. Its dfficult.
"But it is not just on the custodial parent to make sure that the children see the other parent. The noncustodial parent needs to make sure they spend as much time as possible with the child, stay involved in the child's life, and most importantly, when the child visits, make sure they spend plenty of 1-on-1 time with the child. I know some people disagree and think that the visiting child should just blend into the existing family routine, but if the parent does not ensure alone time necessary to build a strong bond and sense of security in the child, that jealousy will almost always be there and create larger problems. Its dfficult"
I agree, but this is not what's going on here. DH IS a custodial parent, as is BM. They have ALWAYS had 50-50 custody. DH spends lots and lots of time with his son. Bedtime routine is always HIS time. He reads him stories, lies in bed with him, etc. He doesn't do that w/my DD--it is special time for him and his son.
He plays sports w/him in the backyard, sometimes takes him to car-related stuff with him, and just is generally a very involved dad.
They get alone time often because I almost always have things to do w/DD. For example, DD has swim practice every AM, and while I take her to that, this summer DH has taken to taking SS to the bakery once a week for donuts. Last weekend, DD went to a bday party, and DH took SS to get frozen custard. This is NOT abnormal for us at all. We obviously spend MORE TIME as a family, as a whole, but DH certainly spends adequate time alone with his son.
I'm not saying that there isn't jealousy going on on SS's part, but sometimes that is just unavoidable. IMO, it is NOT caused by anythng DH is or isn't doing.
"Yeah, I have to agree that, especially from SS's point of view, DD does have an intact family. In the 5+ years DH and I have been together, SS has not once asked "where or who is DD's dad?" It's like he doesn't even consider that she does have one. "
I wonder if that might be something you could discuss with SS -- That really, your DD isn't as lucky as he thinks, because her BioDad isn't around at all... That might awaken a spark of compassion in him. Of course, with his present emotional state, I'd expect him to throw that in your DD's face pretty quickly.
I am not saying DD does not have a nice family or doesn't have a father figure, of course she does. If people want to look into something in my post what is not there, i cannot help it.
But neither SS nor DD have intact family here. It is neither good nor bad but that's what it is. SS's parents are divorced and he goes between two houses. DD's father is not in a picture and she lives in one house.
It is hard to determine what is intact and what is better, it is what it is, but if i ask DD would she rather go between two houses and two families (the way she did her whole life since she was 4-and yes it was stressful at times) or would she rather live with me 100% and her father was nonexistant, I think she'd rather go between two houses.
Now my post was not about love's DD who is lucky to have a great family. My point is that it is ridicilous of SS to be jealous that DD has one home while he has two. Some kids are jelous and envious of everything. i bet you there are kids who are jealous that someone has two houses. i don't think such jealousy should be cultivated. I think SS needs to be taught that he is lucky to have what he has and not compare himself to others.
"Some kids are jelous and envious of everything. i bet you there are kids who are jealous that someone has two houses. i don't think such jealousy should be cultivated. I think SS needs to be taught that he is lucky to have what he has and not compare himself to others"
I agree with this, FD.
I think my DD has plenty of opportunities to be jealous of SS, at least from a child's perspective. He gets two Christmases, two birthdays, etc. He comes back from BM's almost everytime with a new Webkin or LPS or something.
At our home, we buy toys for special occasions or VERY RARELY just because---if either of the kids has money saved up, they are allowed to buy something with their own money. I was pretty annoyed two weeks ago because DD got a SUPER DUPER report card. They are always excellent but this was off the charts awesome, with a note from the headmaster stating what a fantastic schoolyear she had. She got a couple academic awards, and I felt that rewarding her for her hardwork was a good idea.
So that weekend ( and SS was NOT with us) I took her to the store and she got to pick out two new Webkinz.
Three days later, SS came back from his 5 day stretch w/BM with TWO new webkinz. This is pretty typical.
Thankfully, my DD didn't seem to think anything of it, nor did she even tell him the reason for her new webkinz.
But it irritated me. This is typical stuff. Thankfully, my DD never seems to get jealous of the things SS comes to our house with all the time. I think SS is just more jealous by nature. DD sometimes spends the night at my mom's house when SS is not with us---it's nice b/c it gives my DH and I a night to be kid-free and go to dinner/movie. Anyway, anytime SS hears that DD has a night planned at my mom's, he complains it's not fair.
I think his personality tends to be more high-strung and he is def. more insecure, and often insecurity comes out in the form of jealousy. Yet another reason he really, really needs counseling or some forum to work through his emotions in a constructive way.
"I mean---is this child mentally ill?"
No definately not. The child has been programmed by his mom. I know Sweeby already mentioned "Divorce poison" again but it is such an eye opening book! The behavior that SS is displaying IS calculating and it IS unnerving, but he is not ill. His mom is the one with the (personality) disorder, and it rubs off on him!!!
Divorce Poison also has tips for finding the right therapist for SS, it sounds like it's time to try another one.
The POWER of the brainwashing/bashing parent is scary. It has often blown me away too, and it still does. My best example is when BM quit smoking (yet again). Even when BM had started again, in their presence, they'd still tell us she wasn't smoking. I remember SD11 saying: "Mom bought some smokes the other day but she only smokes in the garage so she's still not smoking". Hmm. It's not logical, the skids SEE BM smoking, yet they repeat to us what BM probably said to them. And with a straight face too!
And another issue is projection. I don't know if SS projects stuff onto you guys, but it sounds like he might be. It's so simple; whatever BM does YOU get accused of. My skids have been doing thst for a long time now. A great example is phoning the other parent. We always offer to the skids to ring their mum, knowing it's important for them to check if she's ok. BM used to forbid them to ring FDH, and now that they are older she just does not encourage it (which the skids pick up on). So BM gets plenty phonecalls but we have never had the skids ring here, like ever! And guess who's blamed from stopping them talking to the other parent?? Yep that would be us. It doesn't make sense, but it's the way it goes.
That's my vent for the day...
What? Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed kkny?
She doesn't sound like she's using kids to spy and doesn't even sound like she cares if BM smokes in the garage (or anywhere else)! Guess you miss the point that mom is blowing smoke and kids are 'blind' to what mom is doing... mom says she quit smoking so kids 'believe' mom quit smoking, even though they SEE her smoke and KNOW she buys smokes... that's what brainwashing.. conditioning kids to believe what you want them to believe instead of living in reality does.
I guess what would be more concerning to me is having to be around, spend time with, do things for, etc. a child that has such a warped sense of reality that you cannot believe them. And when you are involved with the parent, you DO have to be around the child... most of us WANT to be around them, until they are poisoned by the other parent... which is sad for the kids being poisoned. They are the ones losing out on having more people in their life to love them.
And kids become spies when one parent inquires about stuff that happens at the other's house... or when the kid offers information and instead of brushing it off, the parent gives a reaction and starts asking more questions... that tells the child his/her 'spying' is valuable. Kids will keep bringing info to a parent that wants to hear it. and it is WRONG to encourage a kid to spy on either of their parents.
The hardest part for me when I was going through that nasty manipulative period was fighting the urge to change my actions defensively.
In other words, you know the child and other parent will twist whatever you do, so you worry about what to do far more than you otherwise would, and end up doing things you wouldn't do or NOT doing things you normally would do -- or just stressing out because you know that whatever you do, it will be made out to be wrong! So you get irritated (and stay irritated) which makes everyone else edgy and the whole family walks on eggshells. And the whole time, you're living with these people in your head! The ones who disrespect you and make you crazy. YUCK!
So how to stay sane and protect yourself?
You simply can't protect yourself from things that are said by people who are willing to lie.
All you can do is what you know to be right. To make the minds of parenting decisions you can stand tall behind and defend if/when you are called on them.
"You stole SS's phone!"
"No, I put the phone in timeout for 24 hours after we caught him texting after midnight."
"You wouldn't give SS any dinner!"
"No, I wouldn't let him make himself a Hot Pocket at 5:00. The whole family ate baked chicken, broccoli and salad for dinner at 6:30."
If you stop allowing yourself to imagine how your words and actions will be twisted, it can get easier to make (and stick to) the right decisions.
"which is sad for the kids being poisoned. They are the ones losing out on having more people in their life to love them."
Exactly! Ima, my DH and I were talking about exactly this last night. BM has poisoned SS against me right from the start. This is not something that either DH or I cooked up in our heads, we have both on HUNDREDS of occasions heard BM yelling at DH, with SS chiming in in the background, about how DH loves my DD best, how I am mean to SS, I "grab his arm," I "beat him," etc. She has done this since he was 2 yrs old! She has told him that she was going to kick my @$$ if I ever touched him, she's told DH in front of SS that she was going to "claw my eyes out," and she has even shown up at DH's house and yelled about me in front of SS. In short, she has made it CRYSTAL CLEAR to SS that I am the "enemy" and that she doesn't like me.
The problem with this is SS is so torn. He does genuinely like me---draws pictures for me, laughs with me, teases me, etc. when he is with us. But there has always been a wall up, he won't fully let himself get to know me, or form a bond with me. He runs hot and cold with me. Anytime I am around and his mom is, as well, like at a school function, he is COLD as ICE to me. Seriously, he will not even make eye contact with me. Then his mom reads that as he doesn't like me, when in reality, he only acts like that when she is around. It is some sort of torn sense of loyalty.
Then the problem is SS has learned over the years that his mom will give him a huge reaction if he complains about anything at our house. I think he says things to her because he enjoys the reaction and feels it is her way of showing him love. Then the problem is, her reactions become out of control and irrational, and then SS sees the upset he has caused and genuinely feels guilty, but doesn't know how to process that guilt. So he withdraws and becomes depressed and angry. :(
"In other words, you know the child and other parent will twist whatever you do, so you worry about what to do far more than you otherwise would, and end up doing things you wouldn't do or NOT doing things you normally would do -- or just stressing out because you know that whatever you do, it will be made out to be wrong! So you get irritated (and stay irritated) which makes everyone else edgy and the whole family walks on eggshells. And the whole time, you're living with these people in your head! The ones who disrespect you and make you crazy. YUCK!"
Like Sweeby said, then I wind up walking on eggshells because I never know what he will say or twist to his mom. (I have used that expression many times on here before!) It gets so bad that I wind up dreading the time he is with us because it's so tense. Then, of course, I am sure SS picks up on my tense-ness, and he feels like I am not warm or affectionate to HIM. And the vicious cycle continues.
The sad part is, he is the one suffering the most.
My DH doesn't particularly care for BM's DH, but he WANTS SS to like him. He took SS fishing awhile ago, and DH's only comment to SS was "what a lucky kid you are to have a stpdad who does that with you." My DH doesn't feel terribly threatened by SD's role in his son's life, and he WANTS his child to feel loved and happy wherever he is.
This just sounds awful, Love. I don't know if he is mentally ill or just brainwashed or what. With all the GAL/court stuff going on, can your DH get him into counseling? I would not feel comfortable around him or having my child around him. You are right, he is the one suffering the most right now and if it doesn't stop soon, he (and any wife or children he has) will suffer for life with these issues. The cycle will continue.
I'm 40 years old and my mom called me a couple of weeks ago to ask me if my dad is still talking to a woman my mom thinks he's dating. They have been divorced since 1983. You are not going to convince me there aren't BM's out there that ask kids "So what is your dad up to?" or dig for info on the other house that is none of their business. As a child of a parent that does that, I have firsthand knowledge of what it feels like to have one parent dig for info on the other parent. I'd love to tell my mom to mind her own F*ing business! It's what I'm thinking but I would never talk to her that way... and I'm sure there are other kids in the world that think the exact same thing when they are also put in the middle.
Sweeby, I agree with ignoring the tattling and making the right parenting decisions... like defending the choice to give SD milk & juice instead of soda with dinner. (can't believe her mom actually chewed DH out over it, but it wasn't about soda, it was about power) but what I resent is having to pay $300 an hour to our attorney to defend these ridiculous accusations in court. Being in the midst of a custody battle makes me want to keep my distance from SD when she comes over and tries to set the stage to say I made her play outside in a lightening & thunder storm, etc. I know it will sound ridiculous to anyone else that hears it, but I don't want the expense of defending my actions. I've done nothing wrong. Once the court battle is over, it's an irritant when SD goes running to her mom trying to 'get us in trouble' but I don't let it change how we operate in our home. We aren't doing anything we can't defend... it's just the expense of defending it that adds stress to our lives.
I hear you Ima -- I was there... (Lived there for several very unpleasant years.)
Hadley - Do you think it would be possible to get a court order for group counseling for ALL of you together? You, DH and BM? Her husband too if he's still around? I know it would be unpleasant (been there, done that too) but it might really help, because if BM doesn't change her ways, the situation will stay bad.
Sweeby, the only way I would think that would be beneficial is if BM stops drinking.
You cannot reason with a drunk. I don't care if she has periods of sobriety, until she actually addresses the issues (behaviors) that cause her to drink, she will continue to be irrational. Personally, I think she needs more than counseling. She needs to be in AA and she needs to work a 12 step program.
If she did that, then I would think group counseling would be beneficial for all of us.
KKNY I don't know what to make of you. Of course we don't make the skids 'spy' for us. They brought the subject of smoking up themselves, we usually don't ask about those things (BM's drinking, the smoking - while pregnant of course, and other negative trades). That is because we'd feel bad knowing that the girls would probably feel like defending their mom. So therefore we wait till they volunteer the information and then we might ask what they think about it, or how they feel. The therapist has given us really good advice on how to be supportive of them, and how to adress these kinds of issues without criticizing their mom. However we do ask the girls general questions to show an interest in their other family, which is important for them. Like about their little brother or what they were up to on the weekend? Is that allowed??
Ima already explained it very well. It's about the power of brainwashing,I guess you're not that familiar with it. Like Ima's SD saying it is raining when the sun is clearly shining (that was your post Ima, right?)
Also what is the significant difference for you between Stepmom or SO? I'm FDH's SO and stepmom to the skids. They actually started calling me that without my encouragement, they think it's 'cool' and so that's fine with me.
You always think that it's the SM's vs the BM's here, and I don't understand why? Surely you're not that shallow to assume all Stepmoms are on the same page and all BM's are on the other? Just because I'm Dutch doesn't mean that I'm on the same page as all other Dutch people, right?
Liebeth, becuase when my D volunteers stuff to me, I am accused of spying. It just seem like different standard. And I have just as much right to be concerned about her, if not more.
Some people here do have an attitude that a SM can do no wrong, but the mom is always wrong.
I dont smoke at all, and I certainly dont want any smoking in front of my child, but the garage seems OK to me.
No I do not think it is dad's GF's job to discuss what is going in mom's house.
My BF's DDs love to talk about their mother, if they talk to their father it is not my place to have an opinion on it. BUT when they critisize their mom to ME, i change the subject. i am never going to discuss their mother wiht them (beyond my mom bought a cute dog or other neutral stuff). I think it is completely inapproprite and absolutelly not your place. If children complain to their mom or dad, oh well they are their parents. And there is a huge difference between asking if you had a good time at moms and discussing mom's smoking habits.
I think this kind of lack of boundaries and oversteping that causes major issues.
Of course it is not spying. You ask legitimate question why she doesn't want to go there and she volunteered information. On the other hand if your boyfriend started engaging in conversations with your DD about her dad and what dad does in privacy of his home and then your boyfriend would yell at your DD if she would complain to you about something. I doubt you would condone such behavior on your boyfriend's part. That's where liesbeth doesn't see the difference.
KKNY I don't think your DD discusses you with dad's SO. and if she would, i hope your exhusband would put stop to it.
I would certainly not allow by BF to discuss anything what relates to my exhusband with my DD. It is just not appropriate. and always backfires sooner or later.
Ya, I think there should be some boundaries. Some things are just personal and I can't imagine why a stepparent would want to know. Of course there are other situations where a stepparent should know (Doodle, Mom2emall the usual disclaimers here) but in stepfamilies where there is significant involvement with both Mom and Dad, I fail to understand why a stepparent gets involved to that degree. It's not going to change anything for the better imo and I think it only fuels bad feelings on the steps side. The step most likely hears and concentrates on the worst flaws of the bio and I just don't think that makes a healthy situation.


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Players bet on tennis, but not their own matches
LONDON -- The governing body of men's tennis confirmed Thursday that Italians Potito Starace and Daniele Bracciali bet on tennis matches, and the players had no excuse for not knowing this was a rules violation.
The ATP said it began investigating in August and found that Starace wagered on matches in 2006 from Feb. 21 to May 23. Bracciali's bets were from May 17, 2004 through Jan. 24, 2005.
Starace made five bets totaling $130 and Bracciali made about 50 bets of $7, the Italian tennis federation said. The federation said both players bet on matches involving others and were unaware the wagers violated ATP regulations.
"Not knowing the rules is not an excuse," Gayle David Bradshaw, the ATP's executive vice president for rules and competition, said Thursday. "Everyone connected to the ATP Tour has a duty to understand and respect the rules, especially those designed to protect the integrity of our sport."
Starace, ranked 31st, was suspended for six weeks and fined $30,000. Bracciali, ranked 258th, was banned for three months and fined $20,000. Both suspensions begin Monday. The Italian federation last week called the penalties an "injustice."
Copyright 2007 by The Associated Press
More and more players are coming forward about being approached by gamblers to fix tennis matches. So what's being done on the ATP and WTA to follow up?
News• Davydenko: On-court talk may have sparked probe
• Luzzi fined, suspended for betting on tennis
• Galimberti wagered on own matches
• Galimberti suspended, fined for betting on tennis
• Gamblers kicked out of stands at Diamond Games
• India launches Davis Cup match-fixing probe
• Match-fixing saga reaches Davis Cup in mid-90's
• WTA: Several players approached to fix matches
• Allegations continue to dog Davydenko
• Two ex-British cops to head corruption fight
• Sharapova: WTA keeping women's tennis clean of match-fixing
• Starace, Bracciali suspended for betting on tennis
• Aussie Open takes steps to prevent match-fixing
• Barr: Davydenko to turn over phone records
• Davydenko angry, upset at focus on betting probe
• Italian player suspended for gambling on tennis
• Probe finds nothing in Tursunov match
• Bookmaker: Match-fixing can't be stopped
• Murray tries to clarify fixing remarks
• Tursunov approached in 2006
• Elseneer's claims vindicate policy?
• ATP hires British Horseracing Authority in probe
• Bryan: Players approached about betting
• Agent defends Davydenko
• Officials investigate irregular betting on match
Analysis• Harwitt: Davydenko longs for anonymity again
• Ford: Tours try to be proactive
• Bodo: Sport reaching tipping point
• Garber: Suspicions follow Davydenko to Open
• TENNIS.com: Suspicious matches
• Outside The Lines
• Bodo on Scandal

subset: commoncrawl


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Pleasant Valley is a populated place located in Nicholas County at latitude 38.379 and longitude -83.938.
The elevation is 718 feet. Pleasant Valley appears on the Cowan U.S. Geological Survey Map. Nicholas County is in the Eastern Time Zone (UTC -5 hours).
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STATE – The Powerball lottery jackpot is $212 million for Saturday night's drawing, and the Mega Millions prize has reached $122 million for tonight's drawing.
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The Calypso for Target line launched in May. Many items sold out immediately however I have found some cute pieces still available. I love a good tunic, it can be worn to work as well as weekends. This tunic is so pretty in both details and color and can work with your entire wardrobe. Wear with white jeans or a more classic work pant. I suggest buying it soon if your a tunic lover like me.
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I noticed that some people on this thread are discussing Hudna, Hamas and similar stuff. I think to enhance this discussion it should be apt to quote here a few pieces from Hamas covenant of 1988 which since then served as political manifesto or declaration of intentions of the movement. Here we go:**************************Article Seven:. . .. . .Moreover, if the links have been distant from each other and if obstacles, placed by those who are the lackeys of Zionism in the way of the fighters obstructed the continuation of the struggle, the Islamic Resistance Movement aspires to the realisation of Allah's promise, no matter how long that should take. The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him salvation, has said: "The Day of Judgement will not come about until Moslems fight the Jews (killing the Jews), when the Jew will hide behind stones and trees. The stones and trees will say O Moslems, O Abdulla, there is a Jew behind me, come and kill him. Only the Gharkad tree, (evidently a certain kind of tree) would not do that because it is one of the trees of the Jews." (related by al-Bukhari and Moslem).**************************Article Eleven:The Islamic Resistance Movement believes that the land of Palestine is an Islamic Waqf consecrated for future Moslem generations until Judgement Day. It, or any part of it, should not be squandered: it, or any part of it, should not be given up. Neither a single Arab country nor all Arab countries, neither any king or president, nor all the kings and presidents, neither any organization nor all of them, be they Palestinian or Arab, possess the right to do that. Palestine is an Islamic Waqf land consecrated for Moslem generations until Judgement Day. This being so, who could claim to have the right to represent Moslem generations till Judgement Day?This is the law governing the land of Palestine in the Islamic Sharia (law) and the same goes for any land the Moslems have conquered by force, because during the times of (Islamic) conquests, the Moslems consecrated these lands to Moslem generations till the Day of Judgement. -----------------------For the sake of correct understanding of the matter, the last quote is particularly important. The Hamas refusal to recognize Israel or to negotiate anything beyond a 10 year ceasefire has little to do with Israel's attitudes as such or with the national aspirations of the Palestinians. Hamas and the Palestinian majority that voted it into power see all of Palestine including Israel as a collective property of Islam. It's on these grounds that Hamas rejects any permanent compromise with Israel.
The reason that Israel is not rushing into a "peace deal" has nothing to do with its most democratic of political systems, but the reality that most Israelis clearly see - that Abbas is powerless and unwilling to stop Palestinian terrorism and deliver security in return. The Israeli political system has taken major steps for peace, including the Olso Accords and its unilateral withdrawal from Gaza only to be met by increased Palestinian terrorism. Propping up Abbas is the idea of US Secretary of State Rice which is being imposed on Israel. Why should Israel give up checkpoints and expose their civilians to Palestinian terrorists when checkpoints remain in buildings and airports throughout the world? The best remedy for peace is to tell the truth about the Palestinian terrorism that Israel has faced for decades. If the story of Israel had been told fairly, the terrorism which has afflicted so much of the world might have been nipped at the bud.
Blaming Israel's parliamentary system is an unfortunate diversion from the real issue. The minute the Palestinians commit to stopping their terrorism, there will be peace.
Removing Israel from the USA's wallet would certainly bring about needed change. But don't bet on it no matter who is in the White House.
I take issue with the statement that Hamas rejects full peace with Israel. My understanding is that Hamas seeks return of the land taken by Israel in the Six Day War in order for peace to occur. Although they reject Israel's right to exist, my understanding is that this is due to Israel's outright refusal of even considering returning all of the land taken during the Six Day War.
WAll Street because we love our children we hate, oppose and fight the Israel
-that has dislocated many of us from our homeland and denies them and their children the right to return to it
-that has dispossessed most of us and denies us, and our children, the right to repossess our legeimate properties in our, our children's, homeland
-that has disfranchised us both emigre and resident (in 1967 occupied territories) in our homeland
-that has subjugated those compatriots of us that are still there.
LOVE thy dislocater, dispossessor,disfranchiser and subjugator ie love your enemy is NOT for US!
WE reciprocate aggression with resistance and oppose and fight plunder and repression.
Gadi and Omar: you are on both sides on the fence but the way the world is changing you have become hostages and victims of your own situations dragging the whole region down and giving cause to extremists to hijack any serious attempts for peace.
Which way is freedom? Immigration to the WEST!! Untold thousands of educated Arabs and Israelis are trekkings towards its shores. Whether it is California, Canada, Australia, or any society that was principally inspired by the age of enlightenment, it does not much matter, so long as it is as far away from the treachery and never ending suffering of the Middle East.
Dear Omar Ibrahim. First of all i am sorry to disappoint you but I am an Israeli i was born here my father was born here and i'll never leave.
Road blocks-might be a hazard to Arabs but save lifes of Israelis
Occupation-Most Israelis could do without it if they truely believed that the territory will not be used to launch rockets (like Gaza),for terrorism or as an invasion launching point(as before 67).
Israel respects the rights of minorities(like Druze or Christians)and even Muslims who are mistrusted(due to the conflict)get more rights then in most Arab countries.
As for the "right of return" it means the destruction of Israel in nicer words,you will never get it and i am ready to fight for it till my last drop of blood(or yours).
Have a nice day
It is the view of most natives in the Middle East that it is the West, and specifically the US, that shoud bear down on their subsidised statelet, Israel, to make peace with the Palestinians, a problem that was instigated by the British after WWI, and nurtured by the West ever since.
With Islamic fundamentalism hijacking the agenda in the Middle East, heartened and strengthened by the failing (and now despotic) social, economic, and political systems, that had risen after WWII and inspired by secural western models, god help us all if there are no surgical and serious attempts by the WEST to heal the festering wounds.
As a secular westerised christian arab, my solution is: Immigrate to the West! At least I would not have to watch the charade of countless and laughable US and European "peace initiatives" that weaken those in the region that rely on reason and hasten the impending rise to power of islamic extremists.
great point 1981b [April 07, 2008 19:24]
I guess they'll just have to fight it out to see who is the real rightful owner of the land since no one's "religous point of view is correct"... right? Keep in mind pal, Truth is Truth and it is verifiable. Folks can ignor portions of the stories if they choose to but the Truth about the Biblical descendents of the Holly Land is is prophesized and has come to pass.
The Jews moved into the land claiming to be the people from the Biblical prophesy, thus uprooting the people who have been there since the original Children of Israel were exiled (palestinians). However!!!! The modern day Israeli people are not the original occupants of the land. I wont argue any case- everyone knows this. This is still the Holy Land- and it will be home to a Holy people sooner or later. Holy people dont blow each other up regardless of whether they were disenfranchised or not. So that rules out both parties fighting for the land now. You search this earth for remnants of the Children of Isreal, find out if they are a Holy People and you will find the people who will be in the Holy Land ruling the world in righteousness. Or is that too far fetched for you? Righteousness may be too far from you rear view to even see it.
"Palestinians do holocaust to their own people. " is truly a bizzare contention.
Is one's love of his homeland and readiness to defend it against alien colonizers a "holocaust"?
Is the cherishment of one's cultural identity , history, geography and heritage a form of Holocaust?
Is one's desire to live with his own people in their own common native homeland a variation on the Holocaust?
Are the Palestinians the first or the only community that believes that none of the above is a Holocaust but a sacred duty ??
Truly Bizzare!
NB12, renouncing Hamas would be worthwhile if Hamas could be rapidly and irreversibly annihilated in its entirety and at an acceptable cost. Sadly, history proves that it cannot be. So you are advocating a situation whereby each side wants complete annihilation of the other, and neither can come close to the achievement of this. Suppose all actors agree to these views. Then what???The official Hamas propaganda and ideology are painfully daft, as is typical for extremist movements. Considering that their recruitment base consists almost exclusively of uneducated and ignorant people, this is unsurprising - extremists peddle whatever sells best among their target audience.To believe what they say one has to be either stupid or crazy, so I cannot imagine that the majority of Hamas senior leadership actually believes their own crap - crazy people manage to claw their way into power from time to time, but stupid people never. But even if I am wrong about this, I see no issue with dealing with stupid or crazy people, provided this allows you to get them to do what you want. Israel's current stance against Hamas has not made Hamas any weaker. Therefore something else ought to be tried.On a side note, Taseattle, using oil money to import expensive baubles (admittedly really, really cool baubles from an engineering and design standpoint) is not a sign of geopolitical power. Dubai is not becoming Rome, it is becoming Beverly Hills, and Beverly Hills is not known as a place where the fates of peoples and nations are forged.
1981b wrote:April 04, 2008 11:36I also might add, Hamas dropped its call for the destruction of Israel in its manifesto long ago (January 2006). While they do not recognize Israel's right to exist outright, they will accept an interim state based on the 1967 borders and maintain full recognition of Israel's right to exist is for future generations to decide. _________________Hamas may have omitted the lines calling for destruction of Israel from the pamphlet they were distributing in 2006, but they have reiterated them on each and every public gathering they held in Gaza ever since then. It was also present in the official propaganda run by the Hamas TV which even in its programs for children kept coming back to the hadith of the garkhad tree, destruction of Israel and the eventual Islamic domination of the world. Let alone it takes a Guardian reader to believe that a movement that had such a stuff in its official manifesto until 2006 could have a suden change of heart in 2006. Anybody, who had the pleasure of watching scenes broadcasted by Al-Aqsa channel in its tomorrow pioneers show which are available on youtube, could see that all this stuff is live and kicking and remains an integral part of Hamas education programs for children.To say that ideologies can quickly change in a 10 year period betrays a total lack of any idea of what Hamas, Muslim Brothers or Taliban are about. The Hamas manifesto has never been a normal political program the style of PLO since Hamas is a fundamentalist movement. The point about Palestine being an Islamic Waqf is a theological stuff based on Sharia. In the same way the Hadith of the Garkhad tree is an integral part of the Hadith collection compiled by Bukhari and Muslim and Hamas are no more free to discard it as they are free to chose themselves another prophet instead of Muhammad.It's very telling that in the version Hamas was circulating in 2006 some lines were only omitted but they were not replaced with an alternative vision and Hamas continued to refuse discussing a permanent solution based on mutual recognition. This is because the most the movement can do is to omit certain lines, but it can't change its own religion. In this sense the covenant of 1988 was and remains the official program of Hamas.As to the idea that Israel will withdraw to 1967 borders, remove border controls between PA and the rest of the Arab world and will wait for the future generation of Palestinians to make up their minds about the full recognition of Israel's right to exist . . . :D :D :D
Jeff G. wrote:April 04, 2008 04:52The article is spot on, in that Israeli leaders cannot control enforce its own laws, or control those whose agenda is contrary to the best interest of the majority, but it overlooks the primary reason Israel seeks to occupy Palestinian lands, and that is water. ***************************JeffI am a Middle Easterner myself (I am Israeli). And IMHO you are greatly underestimating the importance of ideology, religion, national feelings and just plain human emotions in the politics of this region. It's a point very difficult to communicate to the majority of the Westerners who have by now become a sort of economic machines and so are convinced that it's only money that moves the world. Nevertheless it's my deepest conviction that if it were for economic interests and even securing water supplies, all wars in the Middle East would have been already over. No national movements or self determination struggles. Never mind that Israel is the world leader in desalination technology and has a long term plan for resolving the water crisis based more on constructing desalinations plants and gradually doing away with some sections of agriculture than on getting access to the Litani river or whatever.
Israel is the obstacle to peace.
If it wanted peace it could have had it any time it wished. It is infinitely stronger than the Palestinians, has unconditional backing of the US, and would get the support of the world if it stepped up to the table.
But peace would mean having to define its borders, and stop illegal settlements. It would mean having to deal with the rights of Palestinians the Jewish expansion has dispossessed. Dealing with Jerusalem, and refugees. In short: obeying international law.
No. Israel does not want peace. Even when they "talk" peace they continue bulldozing Palestinian homes in the West Bank. They have destroyed any possibility of a two state solution. The only way forward now is to combine all the land, and create a democratic state for all its citizens. Only then will there be peace.
Neither a new electoral law nor the ability of Israeli governments to implement their own decisions will make Israel a truly functional state!
Israel's dysfunctional nature has it deep roots in two major Israeli psyche forming factors:
-Its Zionist ideology
-Its innate, but only recently declared, ambitions for regional military supremacy and overall political and economic predominance.
The interesting point here is that the Zionist ambition of a "Jewish Homeland" had inevitably metastasized into two major policy formulating factors:
-from "homeland" to regional "super power"
-from "national security " into "regional military supremacy."
Equally inevitably this transformation was accompanied by an accelerating geographical widening and deepening cultural regional rejection of the Zionist colonialist project for Palestine
What from WWI/the Balfour Declaration to 1948 was primarily and substantially Arab Palestinian , both Moslem and Christian, widened into pan Arab( 1948-1973) is now a pan Islamic, both overwhelmingly public and increasingly official, rejection of the Zionist project.
Israel's erstwhile strategic regional ally, Iran, is now directly and indirectly at the forefront of the anti Zionist movement ; Turkey will be next after its eventual turn down for admission into the EU.
With the addition of the Islamist motivation to the, ever present, popular Arab nationalist anti Zionist drive the circle of complete regional rejection will close around Israel.
The importance of this development, from Palestinian to pan Islamic, is not limited by the widening of the geographical and human scope of the conflict with their concurrent tactical and strategic implications as much as in its new definition, its redefinition, as a religious/cultural conflict with it's the potentially epoch making implications and repercussions of this type of conflict.
As only to be expected these developments in the ant Zionist camp were preceded and/or succeeded by their causative and/or counter developments in Israel.
The Israeli "peace camp" practically ceased to exist as an influential factor, the "settlers" became, as you rightly point out, "untouchable" with an ever more voracious appetite for Arab land from increasingly compliant Israeli governments and the new and increasingly populist call is for a "Jewish", i.e. Arab free, state.
Israel's predicament goes far deeper and far beyond the laws it should legislate for it self to become a functional state.
It is existential in the sense of its innate Zionist doctrine/orientation, the political implications thereof ,the consequent perpetual and deepening alienation there from and the resultant practical inability to merge into the region and its inadmissibility there in.as a Zionist or Jewish state.,.
aidan clarke wrote:April 05, 2008 07:55The official Hamas propaganda and ideology are painfully daft, as is typical for extremist movements. Considering that their recruitment base consists almost exclusively of uneducated and ignorant people, this is unsurprising - extremists peddle whatever sells best among their target audience.To believe what they say one has to be either stupid or crazy, so I cannot imagine that the majority of Hamas senior leadership actually believes their own crap - crazy people manage to claw their way into power from time to time, but stupid people never. But even if I am wrong about this, I see no issue with dealing with stupid or crazy people, provided this allows you to get them to do what you want. Israel's current stance against Hamas has not made Hamas any weaker. Therefore something else ought to be tried.------------------------AidanI don't think that Hamas are crazy or stupid. They are religious people that go with a particular version of Islam. They are part of a massive Islamic movement called Muslim Brothers that spans continents and is present in almost any country of Sunni Islam. If the region has had free elections now probably half a dozen countries around would have been taken over by the movement.That you can manipulate them into doing what you want I doubt very much. The most famous episode of the West trying to do something like this in the recent history is of course Chamberlain trying to manipulate Hitler. We all know the end. Before Hamas takeover of Gaza Muslim brotherhood was held to be most successful in Sudan. Turabi's NIF was an offshoot of Muslim Brothers. The Muslim Brothers continued to dominate Sudan's officialdom after Bashir's coup too. Millions died when they waged a war on the Christian/Paganist South. Hundreds of thousands perished in the span of a just a few years during their another war in Darfur. Despite all sanctions, peacekeepers and embargoes these people are largely continuing doing what they want. I would not say that since the ww2 the world has developed techniques to control these people. Though it well may be that by now it has largely lost the ability, or better the will, to crash them militarily.
maybe israel should stop being a "jewish" state and be a state for all people who wish to reside in the Holy Land. One of the biggest problems is the racist ideology of zionism which has been just as strong of a factor as islamic terrorism, or foreign meddling.
Regardless whether you believe Hamas' offer of a long term cease fire would be permanent, Israel's refusal to discuss the matter (and the US's failure to broker negotiations) is a conscience decision to forego at least a lessening to the violence.
One cannot scoff at the implications of a 10 year cease fire. Idealogies can quickly change in a 10 year time period - look at the change the PLO underwent in roughly that time.
Furthermore, a cessation of violence could allow the Palestinian people to prosper. Give a people prosperity and peace (even temporary) and extremist recruitment will be much more difficult. Provide a person with peace and prosperity and they will be hesitant to jeopardize them.
You can say that this runs beyond economic issues, but when people face rampant unemployment, human rights abuses and daily threats of violence people lose hope and have no future; in short, they have nothing to lose. When a person has something to lose, they are less apt to violence or crime.
Religious fervor can be tempered with dignity, stability and economic opportunity. It has been in the past, there is no reason why it cannot be done here.
Actually, they do reject permanent peace with Israel; their issue with Israel is that it will not return "land occupied in 1948" (i.e. all of Israeli territory, not just the parts that were assigned to the Arabs in the 1947 partition plan).The most they are willing to hint at is a long-term (though not permanent) truce, with the understanding that it will be broken as soon as they think they can do so advantageously.
Nothing very much is going to be achieved in the Middle East vis-a-vis the Israeli/Palestinian conflict if the option for violence can so easily snuff out even the most palatable of peace proposals. Before anything of any permanence or efficacy can be established, this specific problem must be addressed. But how?
It's no good merely requesting that the two sides halt these hostilities; neither has had much of a mind to do so in the past and, in that respect, the future looks to be no better. The many entreaties from the great and the good have fallen on deaf ears; bribery won't do it; military force hasn't worked; religious edicts have little power; no arcane technology is available to even slow down the proceedings, let alone terminate them.
About the only thing left is to turn back to the problem itself. Does there reside anywhere within it the seeds of its own destruction? And if none can be found, then, maybe, it's time we all decided to plant some - but of a variety and nature dedicated to that specific task.
What's a few seeds going to cost us? A damn sight less than what it's costing us now.
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Louisburg News
Louisburg skydiver rescued from tree
A skydiver suffered minor injuries Wednesday night after he became stuck in a tree on Turf Farm Lane, authorities said.
Louisburg bus driver suspected of driving students while under the influence
A school bus driver in Louisburg has been suspended after she allegedly drove students to school while under the influence of alcohol.
Silver Alert issued for missing Louisburg woman
Louisburg police are searching for a 54-year-old woman who is believed to be cognitively impaired.
Louisburg hospital eliminating most inpatient care
Novant Health officials said Tuesday that the focus of Franklin Medical Center in Louisburg is shifting to outpatient and emergency services.
Rural Franklin Co. town mourns loss of volunteer firefighter
A black flag flew outside a rural Franklin County fire station Wednesday in memory of a volunteer firefighter killed while rushing to a call Tuesday afternoon.
Firefighter killed, another injured after fire truck overturns in Franklin Co.
A firefighter was killed and another injured Tuesday afternoon when the fire truck they were in overturned on Sykes Road in Louisburg.
Man charged after shots fired at Franklin deputy
A two-hour standoff in Louisburg that began Thursday morning with shots fired at a Franklin County deputy ended with a man in custody and a hostage released unharmed, authorities said.
Silver Alert issued for missing Louisburg man
A Silver Alert has been issued for a missing 61-year-old Louisburg man.
Franklin County golf course to become public park
Franklin County officials said Tuesday that they are moving closer toward acquiring Bull Creek Golf and Country Club for conversion into a public recreational park.
Autopsy: Franklin Co. baby likely bled to death
A baby born to a Franklin County teen likely bled to death after her umbilical cord was cut too close, District Attorney Sam Currin said Tuesday after reviewing the child's autopsy report.
Investigators want to interview Franklin Co. teen mom
An 8.5 pound baby girl was placed inside a grocery bag and buried in a shallow grave behind a residence in the Fox Ridge Farms subdivision, located near Louisburg, on Sunday, authorities said.
Newborn baby found buried in backyard near Louisburg
An 8.5 pound baby girl was placed inside a grocery bag and buried in a shallow grave behind a residence in the Fox Ridge Farms subdivision, located near Louisburg, on Sunday, authorities said.
2 face rape charge in Franklin County
The Franklin County Sheriff's Office arrested two men Saturday on charges of attempted rape.
Three arrested in Louisburg home robbery
Three people were arrested Monday for a March home invasion where an elderly couple was tied up and robbed.
Authorities: Louisburg man beat woman, left her in car near abandoned home
A Louisburg man has been charged after Franklin County authorities say he severely beat a woman and left her in a car.
Couple tied up, robbed at gunpoint in Louisburg home
Franklin County deputies are searching for three men who tied up and robbed a couple at gunpoint inside their Gold Sand home on Friday.
Brother of estranged husband to be charged in double homicide
The brother of a man investigators said was the primary suspect in the double homicide of a Louisburg mother and her daughter is expected to be charged with the killings, Franklin County Sheriff Jerry Jones said.
Historians lament destruction of Franklin County records
Thousands of documents and records dating to the 1840s that were stored in the basement of the Franklin County Courthouse were destroyed this month after a significant number were damaged by mold, officials said.
Bunn man killed in Franklin County head-on collision
A Bunn man was killed and at least one other person was injured Sunday afternoon in a head-on collision in Franklin County, according to the North Carolina State Highway Patrol.
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Published: 2012-08-13 09:38:00
Updated: 2014-08-27 15:03:17


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Barrel Room Dinner
Saturday, March 28th
6-10pm-SOLD OUT!
This intimate and exquisite dinner will couple a perfectly paired menu with special reserve wine selections in our candlelit barrel room at Bogle. This year we are proud to partner with Chef Aimal Formoli, of Formoli's Bistro.
Tickets go on sale Saturday, February 28th.
This is an adult only event, thank you.
Wine & Cheese Seminar
Saturday, April 25th
Explore how to create a memorable combination of remarkable cheeses and special wines at this seminar led by local cheesemonger Trevor Thomas and Jody Bogle. This event wraps up with lunch on the lawn.
This is an adult only event, thank you.
Bogle Bash
Saturday June 6th, 2015
Our annual barbecue is the perfect way to kick off the summer season! Join us as we enjoy some finger lickin' goodness: ribs, chicken and all the fixins'! Live music and lots of wine complete the evening!
This is an adult only event, thank you.
Paella Party
Saturday, August 15th
No need to travel to Spain, just come to the Delta as we welcome Chef Ryan Rose of Zocalo to our lawn to prepare his signature paella! Sangria, tapas, wine and flamenco create an evening to remember…
This is an adult only event, thank you.
Friday Alfresco
Fridays, July 3rd thru September 4th 5-7:30pm
Summer evenings in the Delta…it doesn't get better than that! Come relax and shake the week off with live music, wine and food available for purchase. Or bring a picnic and pair with one of our featured bottles of wine. It is the perfect way to start your weekend and help support a good cause. Proceeds from the event go directly to our partnering non-profit organization each night.
Schedule to be posted soon…


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PNG - Indonesian border opens, then closes as OPM strikes
From POST COURIER/PACNEWS
Thu 05 Jun 2014
- Topics
- Papua New Guinea
WUTUNG, PNG --- The Indonesia-PNG border was officially opened on Tuesday this week but closed down again three hours later due to the killing of an Indonesian soldier by OPM (Organisasi Papua Merdeka) rebels.
Security officials told the Post-Courier the joint Papua New Guinea Defence Force (PNGDF) and the government team stationed at Wutung closed down the border again to crossers because of the killing.
They said the PNGDF soldiers closed the border to crossers specifically for security reasons and to protect the PNG citizens that are crossing to do business across Batas and those that maintain their markets at the PNG side of the border.
"The PNGDF soldiers have been instructed not to allow Papua New Guinea citizens to cross over to Indonesia at the PNG-Indonesian boarder at Wutung for security reasons," the officials said.
"The situation at the border has become tense again and there is no guarantee that the lives of PNG citizens will be protected. The OPM rebels killed one Indonesian soldier after attacking the Indonesian establishment at Batas, so for security reasons because it was unsafe for PNG citizens, our officials on the ground closed the gates.
"We officially opened the border for general business after it was closed amid fears over a shooting incident in April this year. We had a small ceremony for it at 11:30 am on Tuesday and three hours later, at 3 pm our soldiers closed the gates again because of the killing of one of the Indonesian soldiers by the OPM rebels.
"Just in case there is a shootout between the OPM rebels and the Indonesian army, we don't want any of our PNG citizens and soldiers to be caught up in this fight."
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Alexander McKay: this prince of bush travellers
T. McKay, Nov 1, 1994 - Biography & Autobiography - 144 pages
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Aboriginal Committee acres Agnes Alexander McKay Alexander's arrived Arthur River Black Bluff boat born Bruny Island buried bush camp Cape Grim Captain Catherine Circular Head climbed Colonial Secretary Company's convict creek cross daughter December Derwent Diemen's Land Donald Edward Curr Excellency expedition exploring fire forest Fossey George Frankland Glasgow Goldie Government gully Hampshire Hills Harriett Henry Hellyer Hobart Town Huon River ibid James Calder James Erskine Calder kangaroo Lake Pedder Lake St Clair Launceston left Hobart Town letter Macquarie Harbour Maria Edith Marlborough McGeary McKay's Mersey miles mountains named natives night North West November open country party Peppermint Bay Photo Plains Port Davey Port Sorell reached road sent settlers South West Sprent Surrey Hills Survey Department Surveyor Swan Island Tasmania Thomas Ticket of Leave took track travelled tree tribe Trucanini VDL Company West Coast wife William women Woodbridge wrote


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Culinary Circle macaroni & cheese recalled
August 17, 2009
Supervalu Inc. announced the recall of its Culinary Circle-brand frozen gourmet macaroni and cheese products due to possible contamination.
The Eden Prairie, Minn., company said the frozen dinners might be contaminated with Listeria monocytogenes bacteria, which can cause serious and sometimes fatal infections.
The product is sold at Supervalu-owned stores, including Acme, Albertsons, Bigg's, Cub Foods, Farm Fresh, Hornbacher's, Jewel-Osco, Lucky, Shaw's/Star Market, Shop 'n Save and Shoppers Food & Pharmacy.
Customers who have purchased the recalled product can bring it back to the store for a refund or contact the company at 877-932-7948.
Source: upi
Topics: Disaster Accident, Jewel, Listeria monocytogenes, Supervalu, SUPERVALU INC., Bigg's, Star Market, Hornbacher's, Shaw's Star Market, TV dinner, Macaroni and cheese, Listeria, Lucky Stores, Macaroni