text:
Dear Poopreport,
My ass stinks. Pretty bad. This bothers me, because it bothers my girlfriend. I am not a dirty person. Every morning I shower and scrub my ass vigorously --
in the crack, even a bit in the hole, for good measure. But after one poop, the whole area reeks again.
I'm a good wiper -- what is wrong with me? How can I keep my ass from smelling?
833 Comments on "Ask PoopReport: My Ass Stinks!"
Dear Anonymous,
I tried the baby powder cure with terrible results. I went for a walk after liberally sprinkling my ass with Johnson & Johnson's finest and was chased by a mob of slavering pedophiles with raging erections. I was lucky to escape unviolated.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
Homes,get yo ass to da 99 cent sto' and get yo ass a can of ass don't smell/cause it do.
I have a theory.. and this comes from 11 years of having Irritable Bowel Syndrome and fixing it.
Ok, first off, anal leakage and stinky ass is in many cases Irritable Bowel Syndrome or IBS. It happens when you're stressed or when you have an intolerance to certain foods. It's an undiagnosed problem (I had like 20 tests done all come out negative.. Therefore, by "exclusion" the doctors determined IBS).
Alright well, the doctors and websites alike all say there's no "cure", but that's because it's not an ailment. IBS is an instinct..
Like.. when you live in a bad neighborhood or you had some bad people/trauma in your early life. Your instincts kick in when you're in the hood or w/ people related to your trauma, and you stink yourself up to get them to go away. Obviously this isn't the case with everyone. Why not just walk away right? Well, this natural stinky instinct the case with a lot of "nice" or "kind" people. These people, myself included, are too nice to fend off these bad people by themselves, so their animal instinct kicks in. OR, it's work related where you don't want to be there but you have to for money, and if it's too unbearable you get IBS, stomach aches, and of course stinky ass leakage.
Your human-side prevents you from leaving the bad situation, so your animal-side takes over. Your human side makes it seem like you don't have a choice but to stink up to escape.
It's the same with skunks; it's self defense to escape a predator. But really similar is the female Hoopoe bird (known in the UK, Israel, etc). The female bird, and its baby birds as well, leak liquid poo when a predator is about to attack/devour. With the smell, the predator is too disgusted to even stay in the premises anymore. Skunks and female Hoopoe birds need these gross defenses because they can't escape the predator- the skunk has short stubby legs and would easily be caught otherwise, and in the Hoopoe's case, she has to stay to protect her chicks (Discover Wildlife call them chicks instead of baby birds). Gazelles don't stink themselves up because they don't have to. They just run. When we don't run, we feel like pooping. If we still stay, we have anal leakage and it smells like ass to everyone around (except to you, because your body is producing your personal odor to ward away other douchebags).
So find out what's causing you to have these instincts come out wildly, and make a move with your human instincts :) I personally had a bad work environment but I stayed because the economy sucked. One day IBS made my ass stink and I ended up quitting. When I found a job that I actually wanted to do (not just for money), my IBS went away :)
And that's my theory. It only took 11 years of suffering IBS to think of it lol. What do you guys think?
Ok, clean your ass by soaping up you hand in the shower. Run a finger in and out your asshole to clean. Rinse off with warm water -- all clean!
Errr[sic] fucking wierdo[sic] wtf[sic] All you americans[sic] yanki[sic] fuks[sic] needa[sic] grow up! Bet your breath stinks coz[sic] you chat shit! How the fuck would you know people use scrapy[sic] toilet paper on there[sic] asses. Bet you actually use sand paper to get all the nitty gritty dried up flakes a[sic] shit off. Dirty shit mouth freak!! Shut ur[sic] dirt box yanki[sic] dried up holes an shut da[sic] fuk[sic] up !! It ain't that hard to keep ya[sic] dirt box clean!! Just clean it with dove soap and clean water!! Stop yankin[sic] on ! Oh n[sic] if the yanki[sic] bathroom ain't got an ass washer then just get ur[sic] batty boi[sic] luver[sic] t[sic] lick your ass
Moderators comment
I didn't edit your extremely poorly written comment so people could see what an uneducated buffoon you are.
I don't know what country you are from but if your writing is an example of the lingua franca that is spoken there it is a country that uses a very marginal form of English.
"Sic in square brackets is an editing term used with quotations or excerpts. It means "that's really how it appears in the original." I have used it here in place of editing so all may see how truly ignorant you are.
I'm fifteen and my ass stinks. Yes, everyone's ass does! But mine stinks fresh,like strawberries! I'm a girl, and I know this stuff.
I'm from Sweden. Eat peaches and coconut three times a week, two peaches and 3 coconuts, and your ass will smell fruity.
I'm eating Cherry and Avocado plus Banana to make my pussy and my ass smell and taste good. Take a shower 4 times a week.
Moderator's comment.
If you don't shower 4 time per week your ass and pussy will smell like Surströmming!
It might be your dick causing the odor. Try giving that a good cleaning.
I have a stinky crack too. Even after I shower really good I can run my finger in my crack and it smells like someone let off a ass grenade. I've noticed I've got a big hole too like a mangina. My bum has never been tampered with, just a big hole. I started eating more veggies and cut out some meats in my diet and after a couple months, not only do I feel better but the ass grenade smell has gone from a 9 to a 2.
Moderators comment, I think you need to check urban dictionary and find out what a mangina is, they have no hole.
From somebody who suffers from this myself I am more than happy to share my recent find. I have been suffering from this since about 8th grade and now I'm 20. I went through all the stages, from wiping my but in the bathroom to see if it was clean (always was),to scrubbing my anus vigorously, changing body washes. I developed depression, anxiety and anti social behavior.
I noticed something was wrong when people would always cough and say it smells like shit. People held their nose around me. It hurt so bad!
I have been on these forums for years looking for a cure but never found one. Basically, to get to the point, I tried a product called "Now Candida Clear", along with a diet change. I began noticing dramatic changes. The people I was around that used to cough and sniffle and such, didn't do it nearly as much, even at a close distance. They even seemed a little confused, Anyway I have been using this product for about 4 days now, along with another product "garlic pills."
I take 2 with a healthy breakfast, usually a healthy kashi cereal with silk unsweetened original almond milk but just eat foods low in sugars or with none at all. And 2 at dinner, usually a salad of some sort with a lean protein like chicken. Same as the garlic pills.
I Also been drinking prune juice and low sodium V8 and plenty of water. I also have been regularly exercising. I hope this isn't to long or boring, and if you're like me you probably read longer hoping to find a cure in one sentence. haha but I will update my progress later. hope you guys learn something from this and begin fixing your problem.
My ass hole is always itchy, I enjoy smelling my fingers after scratching it.
Okay guys, If this is for anal sex the person who is gonna do you should know that an anus is for shitting! So if he's gonna take that risk, well that his problem not yours.
Dogs love the taste of shit. Just get a dog. The good old boy will clean you up and give you a thrill all at once!
If I wiffed this, I'd be bringing something up!!
I tried to buy this so-called Aphincterine product and couldn't find it online. On the website they only mentioned their number which I called and the number didn't work. Is it a real product and did anyone have any success with it?
Sounds like the habits of dogs.
Also you can just put vinegar and baking soda up you butt crack, and then you get the area cleaned up. If you have a hairy butt hole, the poo is getting stuck in there and when you wipe you leave dingle-berries dangling from your ass like Christmas tree balls, so make sure none are stuck in there.
Lord have mercy.
That's not just the best answer; it's the bestest answer!
I have the perfect solution from Japan...the unisex bidet, Neorest 550....washed and cleans your ass no hands....about $4K...
This is the only method that has worked for me!
Amazing lack of punctuation had me in stitches plus I don't believe him about priest because they have really clean butts.
Wash each time after poop and pee, fools. Nothing more cleaner than that. Great for spontaneous sex, as well!
This is a truly beautiful discussion ~:-) I laughed. Alot.
Dude wipe your ass with toilet paper. Then wipe with a baby wipe get a second baby wiped with hand soap on it and re wipe it with a regular baby wipe until the stains the toilet paper couldn't get go away. Then take a shower scrub your ass cheeks crotch and dick no full body shower is needed. No joke I do it every time I after I shit but if I have to go in a public place I do that when I come home. Its weird how people think this is weird whenever they're the ones that stink like ass.
Sounds like a classic case of swamp ass. To rectify this situation you will need to start using baby wipes instead of regular toilet paper. I started using flushable baby wipes a few years ago when my dad started buying them due to his hemorrhoids, you will never use dry TP alone again man. They work very well in preventing that swamp ass smell that everyone hates. Next time you have to take a big dumpa, get some wipes and you will be rid of the swamp ass!!!
Drink senna or use huggies baby wipes
Liquid chlorophyll, in my experience, is like an internal deodorant. Warning, it cleans you out so if you have a sensitive system you may want to start with a little less than recommended. Also in my experience it takes around 2 or 3 weeks to be effective for people with serious body odor issues.
Taken from the top comment on a liquid chlorophyll review...
"is a great way to alkalize your digestive tract and body which can help boost up your immune system and prevent diseases. It also does a good job reducing the odor of your bowel movements."
Good luck to you folks here trying to find a way to make the world a less stinky place :)
Put a dryer sheet in your underwear.
You need to shave that dirty ass hairy before you get started with anything. SHAVED THAT NASTY BUNG HOLE HAIR!
I just crap in the shower then stomp the shit down the drain. Wash my ass and foot right after. No fuss, no muss.
fucking hilarious
Wash with water. Use a pitcher, you get plastic ones in IKEA. That is the only way. Tissue does nothing.
call me weird but i like the smell of a womens anus, if your so worried tell the girl their ass smells before they smell yours first :D for me its a winwin
dude just cut your anal hairs and that should reduce the problem. If everybody notices when you wipe your ass after a sticky crap, it'll go through your anal hairs and make it stinkier after it sweats. hmmm interesting forum
You gotta wash your ass'
This is why Muslims are the cleanest people we wash 5 times a day for prayer and if we use the bathroom even if its urine we must still wash thats your solution Bud!Wash your Behind
hey girl,what kind of deodorant,spray u mean???
send the answer in my ym email@example.com if you dont mind..thanks :)
Step 1: rinse ass with water front to back.
step 2: soapy a wash cloth
step 3: stick wash cloth covered hand into crack and swirl, move to different section of towel and wash ENTIRE crack up and down.
step 4:rinse from front to back
step 5:soapy HAND (not the towel)and do a general ass wash
step 6:rinse from front to back
step 7:get out the shower and DRY YOUR ASS! (Very important)
step 8:(optional) spray deodorant or use powder
tip 1:you do NOT need to wash the inside of your anus, all you're doing is pulling out more fecal matter making the area harder to clean.
tip 2: The ass should be one of the last parts of body washed. The last thing should be your feet.
tip 3: use a hand towel ONCE, then it needs to be washed
tip 4:WASH TOWELS SEPARATELY and always USE BLEACH (i use white towels so they dont get ruined) DRY on HIGH HEAT.
tip 5: tips 3 and 4 are the MOST important. This is the KEY.
tip 6: males also need to give special attention to the balls, and the area between the balls and anus/ass.
People have said that all asses stink. This simply is NOT true. getting out of the shower, your ass should smell like soap or nothing at all! Please follow these instructions.
Look at the positive side of this. You will always have space on a bus or train around you. Flies buzzing around your arse will warn others that its not safe to get too close to you.
A sigh it is a gust of wind which rises from the heart,
but when it takes the downward path, is most often called a fart!
A fart it is a great relief, it gives you belly ease,
it warms the bed in winter and suffocates the fleas!
I think we can all come to the conclusion that, although cleaning your butt on a regular basis can reduce the smell, buttholes are buttholes and their gonna smell like what they are..... Buttholes so don't stress.
Plain and simple. Wash yo ass
when u shit, do like i do, i sit on the sink and put the water running down my ass and wash for about 30 seconds, wipe with any towel, i never stink, my ex muslim gf used to do it and i learned with her and she did the same with her vagina after pee.. i wash my penis too.
hope it helps.
I have been doing one thing all my life since teenage years.
I wipe ass with toiletpaper slightly watered, multiple times. Although time-consuming, beign a vegetarian my extrements smell much, so I developed this technique to - trust me, very clean, no odor.
Simply use slightly watered toilet paper, conitnue wiping glissados until brown color (fecal debris) is bleak enough to stop.
just wash ur ass dude..like muslims does..
Try an aloe wipe or baby wipe. DO NOT use the wet wipes that other places put out, those wipes can have alcohols, fragrances, and other things in them that irritate your back door.
One day my ass was stinking so bad i had peoples heads and noses turning at my job, so during lunch break i jumped in my car and went to an auto detail shop, i told them i wanted it buffed and deoderized then, i dropped my pants to my ankles,spreaded my butt cheeks and showed them the STINK NUGGET!!! Needless to say the guy with the buffing wheel threw up and the manager called the cops, so here i am in jail with a rotten smelling ass!!!
hang a stick up deodorant on your ass
You went to poopreport. This place is either filled with people laughing at you or depressed people wanting to kill themselves. what kind of attitude do you think you're going to get coming here?
"Ass gnome" lol.
Hey, there's many reaons to kill yourself, but the trick is staying alive despite all that. Trust me, if it's not smelling like shit, then other people are going to make you feel like there's something else wrong with you. It's just some people that everyone like's to pick on. I'd say as long as you haven't done anything bad, what's the reason to die?
Change your diet. Do you eat a lot of eggs? What about dairy products? Things like broccoli and brussel sprouts also add stink to your crap. Don't quit eating these things, just cut back a bit.
Homes,get yo ass down to the 99 cent store and get yo ass a can of ass don't smell.'cause it do.
I try everything and i have the same problem i used underarm deodarant all up my ass but it never lasts and i always smell like ass.
i have the same problem,i scrub good when i shower,i make sure to clean good down there, but for some reason after i take a dump and wipe good,i begin to start smelling a little funky, i think i need an ass washing toilet ...
This was way too funny. I don't know how I came across this page but I'm glad I did. DUde just wash your butt better.
Put deodorant in your ass, that will keep it fresh all day. Preferably Secret
Nice way to refrence woman hope you enjoyed your fromunda cheese
Oh my God ... seriously? You think your shit should smell like dinner or something? In America, we can't get over our dry wipe fetish. Yum yum. Let me squeeze out some gooey rotting half digested food ... and try scraping it off my ass using dry scratchy paper. Then I'll just smell like shit all day long!
Noooo noooo noooo. Wash it, man! Each time! But where? In the sink? Can you imagine? So, your ass is hanging over the sink, and sixteen other dudes are like ... whaaaaat? Butt! You'd have a clean, sweet smelling ass! And she'd love you for it!
So what? Why are American bathrooms these weird fetish rooms with no way to wash up? Give it up, man! This sort of thing has been solved years ago in less uptight cultures. French, Japanese, Chinese, all have "ass wash" toilets. You just soap the damn thing off after a juicy gooey sticky stinky slimy brown green orange experience and ahhhhhhh ... I'm clean and fresh again. No smelling like a fresh turd any more.
Yes! So how do we change the world? Become a poop hippie? An ass washing flower child? A bidet evangelist? An ass sniffing wierdo? A "porta-ass-wash" carrying preacher?
The possibilities are endless!
This is very strange indeed.
This entire forum.....
Many people are not taught proper hygiene skills. Wiping your butt after a #2 using only toilet paper will only get you by temporarily and will cause bacteria to build up. In order to have a really clean butthole you need to wash it well with water (and soap if possible). There are two times you can do this. The first is when you take a shower. Take a "shower glove" and lather it up with soap. Gently wash your butthole region with your fingers. You need to be gentle but thorough. Then rinse it clean with just water. Then wipe it dry with toilet paper. When you take a dump away from home, after you wipe with regular toilet paper, use moist towelettes like "Cottonelle Flushable Wipes" for that extra clean feeling. If you don't have moist towelettes, use a wet paper towel and then wipe it dry with another paper towel (don't flush the paper towels). This system is pretty good IMO.
Omg! i would hate to be your girlfriend, u nasty piece of shit. how can you do something like that? i wish i could see u cause ill cut your dick off and stick it up your ass so the next time you fart u can taste in out your mouth!
Do you think all the deodorants are good for the skin in that area specially around the anus .. its sensitive..Hair removing cream manufacturers also recommend not to use cream in that area...Or i think a deo made from natural ingredients would be better...
use water. tissue paper alone is not enough.
Some many comedians on this board. You should seriously go to the Doctor, you may have an anal fistula. If this is the case no type of hygiene will help you. Your rectum is very sensitive and deodorants, soaps and especially baby wipes can irritate that area. Also be gentle when cleaning, do not scurb your rectum. It can make it worse. Spray warm water direcly on the area until all fecal matter is gone, then blot dry. Also take fiber (citracel), drink lots of water and perform about 200 sphincter exercises a day. The exercises will strengthen up your rectum, which hopefully will keep everything inside.
All this for nothing? Poor guy no one ever gave him a solution for his stinky ass? EASY!... Dude, western people ass wiping-after-poop system its FLAWED. You are actually smearing the poop all over your ass... also it stays buried around your anus. Use water and a towel like Muslims do, I learned that from them.. they have the cleanest ass in the worlddddd. Ok After that, Just buy and extra deodorant and use it in your butt crack, it will keep it from smelling and sweating and It will keep your girl happy :) Trust me Im a girl and I have my extra deodorant I have never had my ass stinking yayyyy!
Never laughed so much in my life!!!!!its called soap and water(bathe guys!!!!)
if your breathe smells a little like poo too it could be caused by an infection on your tonsil area. the infection will smell/taste like poo and since youre swallowing it your body will dispose of it in the only way i can, sweating it out. this is only my theory however... i am having those current symptoms as we speak.
i just found the infection today when the dentist said "nice tonsils", during my cleaning. i have had the bad breathe for about a month. im going to start on an antibiotic and probotic as soon as possible to see if it helps.
i just currently had blood work and fecal tests done at a lab. **HIGHLY RECOMMENDED** they can find out whats going on in there and tell you if you have an infection inside as well. and remember; excuses are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink :)
Crap stinks
This shit is funny as hell I'm dieing from laughing my ass don't stink cause I wipe after a 2 foot shit it happens all the time its so long it curls around the toilet all the way up to the rim looks like a snake trying to bite my two apples when I flush well ever try to blend food with the top off yes you guessed it shit flys everywhere so I don't flush it no more when I'm in ploblic bathrooms just today I saw a priest go into my stall and heard him say jesus christ I started to laugh so hard as he ran out with shit on his cleen robe well that's my story keep ya ass clean
what's that smell?
What I find works is if I need to fart really bad I find a place that I can pull my clothes off and just fart away. The fecal matter gets stuck in your clothes if you fart in there. Also when the GF is sleeping rub your hole and put the finger to her nose. If she wakes up you are stinky. If not you're just over exagerating about the smell.
I hope this advice helps.
make sure to wipe with baby wipes or something after pooping.
Dear stink ass, You need to trim your nasal hairs before you stick your nose up my ass. They tickle too much.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
I smell ass crack.
What's happening everyone, I too have the same problem but my lifestyle is fucked up. I go to bed at about 6 in the morning till 6 at night. I get up and sit in I have done this for 3 years now, I'm only 19, I'm suffering from depression and I'm going to kill myself if I don't find a solution to the problem.
It's got to be the worse thing that can happen to you, no body likes a stink. People just tend to think of you as a tramp because you stink. People don't understand that us people have something physically wrong with us.
If anyone who has had this problem has a real solution for it could you comment back because am fed up with all the gobshites saying retarded things like put tampons up your arse. I don't want a fucking temporary gay solution, I want a permanent one so I can live a normal life like everybody else.
We don't deserve to be depressed and ashamed of this shit it needs to end today ! Someone get on me with some good news about getting rid of the stank ass, it's doing me nut in and I haven't fucked a girl for a year and I'm literally fucking pig sick over it. We all need a good beet now an again so stank ass's clean my arse with a real solution.
Okay AC, No pun taken.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
thats real crappy
no pun intended
Excuse me Ma'm. We're trying to determine what your bf ate last night. Is that a bean sprout hanging from your lip?
my boyfriend's ass smells like nothing at all and tastes like nothing too,and his shit doesn't stink. the word is VEGAN.
the ass gnome said;
"seriously u guys just try it and see for urself"
Two problems with that. First,that was a well written/typed post until the end.Secondly,If you can see the stink disappear, how bad did you stink?
More people flush than they do wash their hands.
More people flush than they do wash their hands.
Whenever I take a dumb, I feel so stupid.
i have had this problem for about 2 years so far, and i think i have managed to find out what causes this :
- whenever i eat onions/garlic my ass would reek the next morning.
- whenever i poop and wipe my ass with toilet paper without water i reek.
- and finally whenever hair starts building up in my ass, i reek.
so i started eating less onions (used to eat it daily) , and shave my butthole often and ALWAYS wash my ass after taking a dumb, and it WORKS LIKE A CHARM! i never smell anymore, seriously u guys just try it and see for urself
Help, 30 minutes after a shower I can wipe with tp and there's a sweaty ass smell. Can't shake it.
What about anti monkey butt powder? Is this the technological miracle break through all of our pungent incompetent sphincter gates have been puckering for? I want to live damn it
Maybe she shouldn't let her asshole go unrefridgerated for that long.
More people flush than they do wash their hands.
More people flush than they do wash their hands.
Butt of the Joke, I was doing a 69 with my girl friend and her asshole smelled funny but it didn't make me laugh. Her asshole smelled like a chicken salad sandwich that had been unrefrigerated for a week or two.
Should I have laughed? Is there something wrong with me? Should she have opted for egg salad instead?
I need help!!!
AC,that is the point. This is a poop HUMOR site,not meant to be taken too seriously. And if you read through the comments and pages,you might notice that simply showering again doesn't always cut it. Please return with helpful advice or something reasonably funny.
More people flush than they do wash their hands.
More people flush than they do wash their hands.
This site is a joke, to remove the stank just shower again, it's that simple.
Good advice BOJ. If this doesn't help assfacee, try pulling a corner of the carpet back and run your ass along one of those tackless strips. Have some peroxide handy.
assfacee, have you ever watched a dog slide it's ass across the carpet? Do you think they do that just for fun? Give it a whirl.
More people flush than they do wash their hands.
More people flush than they do wash their hands.
Hello my name is shwanza and i have a ass problem...
sometimes my anus is really itchy but i dont know if i should scratch because not only is my finger gonna smell bad but i might get internal bleeding.
what should i do?
pleaseeeee help.
my butthole smells like the best parmesan cheese-- i mean like the highest quality expensive stuff. its a small world when it comes to bacteria.
Somebody certainly gets around.
More people flush than they do wash their hands.
More people flush than they do wash their hands.
Dear Depressed, were you born in Tokyo, Saigon, Manila, Taipei, or perhaps Reykjavik?
Just curious!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
Depressed, you're only 13 and your ass already smells?? You may be related to someone here at PR then. In fact, you may be his child.
CHIEF!! You got some 'splaining to do.
Well I'm Asian. When I'm home we use those small milk jugs and fill it with water, wash yourself and add soap when washing yourself. We wipe then we wash. Wash yourself twice to be extra clean. You can find those small milk jugs or even those small gardening water jugs from the dollar store. If you are out in public always bring a bottle of water with you when you have to do number 2 and they have those take-a-long paper soaps too at some places. I've seen them at Pier 1 Imports even. Deodorant will just cover the smell up, you gotta wash yourself after that, I mean imagine trying to have an intimate moment with your significant other when there is not such a pleasant smell coming from your ass. Also it depends on what you eat too and your digestive tract. I know zinc is supposed to help with body odor as far as underarm odor goes. I'm assuming it would help with this problem too.
Hi I am 13 years old. I have had this weird smell coming from my butt, it's like a fart smell even though I haven't farted. Sometimes it's the sweaty bum smell, sometimes it's a shit smell. Sometimes it's just fart smell.
I shower twice a day. How can I make it go away? Any answers or advice will be fantastic!!!
Bunny ranch girls? Moving their cans? I am reconsidering!!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
Sorry I didn't hear that. The bucket brigade that the girls from the bunny ranch started is quite noisy. They're having a hell of a time with all those cans moving around. Enjoy your possum my friend.
George Dickel No. 12 would have piqued my curiosity!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
What are the odds. Good luck. I guess I'll have to attend to the horrific crash involving a truck carrying George Dickel #8. It seems to be a one vehicle crash on an overpass, and there is something pouring out of it onto the vacant lot below across from the local bunny ranch.
Sorry PD, Home front patriotism must take top priority. A local truck carrying fried possums has just been T-boned by a barbecue sauce truck. This tragedy has occurred within a mile of my home and I am a first responder in accident such as this.
Let's see, T-bone, possum, barbecue sauce, I'll get back with you soon.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
AC, we here at PR cannot take such a claim as truth unless it is independently corroborated. I will have an esteemed member of our staff travel to your residence and verify both the shit and the ass claims. You'd better be telling the truth, or he'll be pissed.
Oh Chiefy. We need someone to travel to verify a uh report of uh truck loaded with uh pork rinds that collided with a truck carrying uh hot sauce. It sounds like a uh a real mess. Yeah real mess. We're counting on you buddy. I'd go but uh I'm on the uh no fly list.
You people all need serious psychological help. My shit don't stink either does my ass. HA!
Is that because soon you'll be being made fun of in 9th grade?
im made fun of in the 8th grade it sucks. but soon that'll stop thx guys
Dear AC, I corrected a few of your grammatical errors but left just enough to show that you are not the brightest candle on the cake.
I truly feel sorry for you and earnestly suggest that you get a pet lion. They are much more thorough than dogs.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
I to used to have a rancid rectum but I bought a dog. To cut a long story short I used to smear jam in the anal passage get down on all fours and get the dog to lick it off. Not only did it clean up very nicely, it also had a raspy tongue. 'sigh' Then the dog died so I still have a smelly anus. Ain't life a bitch?
I'm curious Paul, If you're in the bush why does it matter what your arse smells like?
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
The best way to clear any trace of a smelly arse you need to wash the whole area with metho (this is an old Australian bush trick)failing that use surgical spirits or alcohol wipes, this will kill all bacteria and fungus that cause the smell in the first place. If this doesnt work then go for something stronger such as benzine or sodium metacloride. I once washed my dogs bollocks with petrol to good effect.
Why does my sack smell like a foot no matter how much I scrub it
And AC, No fair getting your assfucking from a soapy or cologne drenched dick, KY jelly only will be approved as a lube.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
AC, that is interesting, useful information, but we here at PR need to corroborate all our posts to ensure accurate journalism. Can you take an assfucking and get back to us with the results? It will be greatly appreciated.
My girlfriend's of Arab descent. She taught me how to make sure your ass is completely clean.
Here's how : every morning (but especially after taking a dump) jump in the shower, soap up your fingers and stick 'em up your ass until you're in the actual inner as cavity. Keep reinserting your fingers, ensuring that any excess shit is removed. Bonus points if you have a detachable shower head.
Dry off, get some antiperspirant liquid and rub it into the crack and hole of your ass until it's dry to the touch. That's it. You could take an assfucking and it'll still smell like roses.
Has anybody ever tried Tussy deodorant cream cause I tried that and it works to get rid of all the smell unless I eat foods like curry- in which case my clothes might have a slight aftersmell of curry- and I do have tmau.
wow. this site is... wow. okay, first of all, not everyone's ass stinks. i shit & shower every morning in that order and my ass doesn't stink. my boyfriend sits around and festers for two and three days at a time, and his ass doesn't stink. yet his pits could knock you over dead. we are all individuals and reek at our own rate.
but here's a little tidbit that may help. especially all you fat people. because fat people start smelling much quicker, it's just a fact. i discovered this 10 years ago when i was pregnant and it helped me out a lot. my hormones were all over the place and i went through this 3 week period during my first trimester where i was constantly sweating. profusely. i stank. it was horrible. my pits were sweating, my ass was sweating, my chest and back were sweating, it was CRAZY. i actually grossed my own self out and i showered three times a day.
but!! the lifesaver?? FDS!!! all you fat and/ or smelly people need to go to the drug store and buy a big can of FDS. it stands for feminine deodorant spray BUT it's not just for sprayin your cooch. (which by the way is nasty and if it's that bad go to the doc...). it's an all over MILD (note-no ass burning) deodorant spray that works anywhere on your body - feet, back, chest AND YOUR ASS!!!! so all you dumbasses that are shoving sticks of deodorant up your ass and wondering why your ass is on fire need to stop that shit and buy some FDS!!! it smells good and it works. and for god sakes use a wet wipe after you shit if you can't just take a shower.
you should consider getting a Brazilian Bikini maybe your pubic hairs are smelling. some particles from your poop got stuck to those hair thus making your whole ass smell! XD
I tried the wet toilet paper thing...
Now Ive just got lots of little wet dingleberries... On to next tip...
First of all, this site is HILARIOUS. Can you guys grow the fuck up? Every single ass / asshole smells because that's where turds come out from. Hello? I'm a certified ass sniffer and I love smelling all types of sweaty, greasy, hairy, FEMALE ass cracks. What I do to keep my asshole extra smelly is the following:
- When I take a shower, I NEVER wash it. NEVER touch your asshole. That can lead to an increase in the homosexual population.
- eat 2 buckets of fried chicken from KFC (daily)
- 5 baby ruth candy bars for dessert
Now comes the secret: 12 BOILED eggs! Eat those babies every day and the stench will have your neighbors clapping.
Take care hookahs.
Now my finger stinks too
Why is it so shocking that a dark, warm, moist oriface that turds come passing through atleast once a day might smell a little bad?
HAHAHA why thank you!!
De (may I call you De?) It sounds like you may be in danger of creating the perfect ass. Most guys will be intimidated by this. I think it best to leave a few dingleberries or some toilet paper dandruff back there so guys don't suddenly think you are a blow up doll or something. Just a suggestion.
=] this is frikken hilarious. but helpful. DONT use deodorant or alcohol lmao! I am so glad to know I am not alone! I am freshly single and I had sex the other night and was sooo insecure about me maybe smelling like ASS.
From what I read I guess Ill be taking a mini bath before my shower and SCRUB the shit off my ass. Then use baby powder... cant be that bad right?
Also I have been using flushable wipes for over a year now I'm totally addicted! regular toilet paper SUCKs.
And.... I noticed that my shit always smells better when i eat yogurt daily :) gotta stay regular!!!
Okay Jay, The next support group meeting will be in your dining room while you are having breakfast in the morning.
Dirty old men need love too!!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
I can't say I personally understand the plight some of you are facing, but I am nonetheless sympathetic.
However PLEASE, stop having your support group meetings on public transit. Now you know.
This forum kills me. lol. I think all our asses smell. No matter who you are, what you eat or who sniffs your crack.
My ass stinks right now and I like it. I don't care what anyone thinks and the wife can go to hell. He He.
I have IBS, that's irritable bowel syndrome. Ive pooped 3 times today already. Oooozy Poop too. I do have a hairy crack, so its hard not to accumulate poop on the hairs. My ass stinks!
Dear Stinkers,
After extensive research on 134 people with Rectal Stench Syndrome (R.S.S.) i have come to the conclussion nothing more than wiping and washing your anus thoroughly will resolve 100% of your problems.
Drinking plenty of water and spending a little more time on the toilet will make certain you have emptied your bowels completely and wiping should be a reasonably clean process. Wash your anus gently atleast 3 times with a mild soap. Your troubles should be solved.
Dr W. Reach
i am a gay man here to help you sick hetaro's. this is what we do (shhh...its a secret) ok, wip your ass lik you normaly do, but the second time you wipe; go in deeper with the middle finger. do it for about 4times, then wipe frontwards, ok now it gets tricky. when wiping with middle finger lean forward with your back slightly curved, then right at that moment shove your finer up your ass and clean almost in a finger bang motion as you would do to a female partner (yes i said it cuntlicker - PARTNERS) curve your finger sligtly and wipe out, do this until toilet paper comes out clean. top it off by wetting toilet paper jus a bit and squeeze excess water and final wipe. after a week it becomes second nature. it may sound like alot; what i just wrote, but trust me its not, im just here to help you smelly asses.... oh dont think that wiping like this makes you gay (lol as if it could)...what makes you gay is liking penis you fucking putas.
- This is for anybody that can not stop his/her bottom smelling.
- I am strict vegetarian.
- I have been suffering from same symptoms for about 20 years. My social life was zero. Afraid of the meetings at work and was so tired of it I was planning to go back to India for good.
- Recently friend of mine at work recommended I see Dr. Janine Romaner (You can Google her name or Naturally Healthy, LLC).
- She has turned my life around. Though I am on a strict diet, it is worth going through this pain than smelling all the time.
- Her phone number is 770-640-6690
- Don't give up.
Oh god, What the hell did I post that crap for.
I guess this is what happens when you wake up at 4:00 AM and hot box your self in a room with a 45 minute fart barrage.
Is it possible that a simple fart may also contain additional side effects other then disorientation and scrunched face?
I don't know Doctor AC. I am going to have to disagree with you, despite my elementary knowledge(lack of all knowledge beyond my own experience)of ass odor.
I think you based your argument on the assumption that all turds are not equal because of what they are derived from. You are like the Adolf Hitler of poop!
But I know, because I'm a vegetarian, that all poop makes an asshole stink. So don't pretend that you would prefer my turd over Chuck Norris's turd sitting on your front porch because you think it might stink less. Please Doctor, prove to me why your opinion is not biased when your sniffing butt holes.
Lastly, I think poop has been ridiculed for far to long, because unlike man, we know for a fact that poop was created by higher beings. And I know I can walk out my front door with the pride of knowing that, I make poop at least equal to all others.
Sounds to me that you might need to review your dietary intake. Apparently you're eating some stuff that makes it all reek back there.
I suffer from this too...UGH it's so embarrassing. It seems like in the last month it's gotten significantly worse and I don't know wth I'm doing wrong! I will def try to change my diet though, I keep farting lately and that might be cuz I'm eating horribly. I need to buy some wipes too. Here's to a new me and a new smell free butt. Cheers!
I like to stuff rose petals up my bum, that way when I fart the gas is filtered thru the roses and leaves a nice smell. They're also great for wiping with, just make sure to avoid the thorns.
I'm still trying to figure out why AC 10/24 is fisting himself in the shower, under the guise of "washing"...
When you say the word "poop," your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase "explosive diarrhea."
I soy, enough frum rogues an' riff raff loike oliver twist an' that barbarian wallis. we gentleman in the owse of lords wull be chuffed ter help thrash the yanks into submission.


text:
Book your room at NH Logroño Herencia Rioja
Standard RoomMax Occupancy: 2 guests (up to 1 child)
Standard Room, 1 Single BedMax Occupancy: 1 guest
4-star hotel in Logrono with a restaurant
Situated in the city center, this hotel is close to Museo de la Rioja, Santiago el Real, and Concatedral Santa Maria de La Redonda. Nearby attractions also include San Bartolome Church.
Hotel Features
In addition to a restaurant, NH Logroño Herencia Rioja features a bar/lounge. Other amenities include a coffee shop/café and complimentary wireless Internet access.
Room Amenities
Flat-screen televisions come with satellite channels. Guestrooms also feature complimentary wireless Internet access, air conditioning, and climate control.Information missing or incorrect? Tell us!
Hotel Amenities
Hotel Amenities
The hotel offers a restaurant and a coffee shop/café. A bar/lounge is on site where guests can unwind with a drink. High-speed wireless Internet access is complimentary. Event facilities measuring 1560 square feet (145 square meters) include conference space and meeting rooms. This business-friendly hotel also offers tour/ticket assistance, multilingual staff, and laundry facilities. Onsite parking is available (surcharge).
NH Logroño Herencia Rioja has designated areas for smoking.
- 24-hour front desk
- Babysitting or childcare (surcharge)
- Total number of rooms - 83
- Number of floors - 7
- Bar/lounge
- Breakfast available (surcharge)
- Coffee shop or café
- Conference space
- Elevator/lift
- Tours/ticket assistance
- Free WiFi
- Designated smoking areas
- Luggage storage
- Dry cleaning/laundry service
- Laundry facilities
- Meeting rooms
- Multilingual staff
- Restaurant
- Safe-deposit box at front desk
- Self parking (surcharge)
- Conference space size (feet) - 1560
- Conference space size (meters) - 145
- Number of meeting rooms - 5
- Number of buildings/towers - 1
Available in all rooms: Free WiFi
Available in some public areas: Free WiFi
Self parking (surcharge)
Room Amenities
- Air conditioning
- Climate control
- Phone
- Minibar
- Daily housekeeping
- Private bathroom
- Free toiletries
- Hair dryer
- Bathtub only
- Desk
- In-room safe
- Rollaway/extra beds available
- Blackout drapes/curtains
- Satellite TV service
- Flat-panel TV
- Free WiFi
- Free newspaper
- Room service (limited hours)
- Free cribs/infant beds
Where to Eat
Buffet breakfasts are available for a surcharge and are served each morning between 7 AM and 11 AM.
El Zarcillo - This restaurant specializes in regional cuisine and serves lunch, dinner, and light fare. A children's menu is available. Reservations are required. Open select days.
Room service (during limited hours) is available.
Hotel Policies
Check-in time starts at 3 PM
Check-out time is noon
Payment types
You need to know
Extra-person charges may apply and vary depending on hotel policy.
Government-issued photo identification and a credit card or cash deposit are required at check-in for incidental charges.
Special requests are subject to availability upon check-in and may incur additional charges. Special requests cannot be guaranteed.
Only service dogs are allowed
- Fee for buffet breakfast: EUR 14 per person (approximately)
- Self parking fee: EUR 17 per day
- Rollaway bed fee: EUR 35 per night
We should mention
Cash transactions at this property cannot exceed EUR 2500, due to national regulations. For further details, please contact the property using information in the booking confirmation. Only registered guests are allowed in the guestrooms.

subset: commoncrawl


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January 28, 2014 - Industry News
For stopping to help a driver who experienced a tire blowout on the highway, William McNamee of Christopher, Ill., has been named a Highway Angel by the Truckload Carriers Association. McNamee, who has driven trucks professionally for 22 years, is a company driver for Carbon Express Inc., of Wharton, N.J.
Tags: TCA Highway Angel, Carbon Express
We offer e-newsletters that deliver targeted news and information for the entire fleet industry.
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Felix Doubront Rumors
Cubs Release Felix Doubront
The Cubs have released pitcher Felix Doubront, MLB.com's Carrie Muskat notes (Twitter links). Doubront was set to make $1.925MM in his first season of arbitration after settling with the Cubs in January. By releasing him, though, the Cubs will only be responsible for about $473K termination pay.
Doubront was one of a large number of Cubs who were out of options, and he was one of several pitchers competing for what was effectively a single bullpen spot. He also struggled this spring, allowing nine runs in seven innings (although he struck out four and walked none).
Doubront is only two years removed from two decent seasons as a starter with the Red Sox. He struggled in Boston last season, however, and earned criticism for his attitude and effort before heading to Chicago in a minor move. He also struggled with his velocity last season. Nonetheless, Doubront is still only 27, and one would think he would have little trouble finding a new team in need of pitching, particularly starting pitching.
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Full Story | Comments | Categories: Chicago Cubs | Felix Doubront | Newsstand | Transactions
Players Avoiding Arbitration: Thursday
As we approach tomorrow's deadline for exchanging filing numbers, the volume of arb deals will increase. All arb agreements can be monitored using MLBTR's 2015 Arbitration Tracker, but here are today's smaller agreements, with all projections referring to those of MLBTR contributor Matt Swartz:
- The Indians have avoided arbitration with third baseman Lonnie Chisenhall and agreed to a one-year, $2.25MM deal, CBS Sports' Jon Heyman reports (Twitter link). It's a slight bump over Chisenhall's projected $2.2MM salary. Chisenhall hit .280/.343/.427 with 13 homers in 533 PA with the Tribe last season.
- The Indians and left-hander Marc Rzepczynski have agreed to a one-year, $2.4MM contract to avoid arbitration, according to Jon Paul Morosi of FOX Sports (Twitter link). Rzepczynski surpassed his projected salary with the contract, as he was pegged to earn $1.9MM next season. The southpaw posted a 2.74 ERA, 2.42 K/BB rate and an even 46 strikeouts over 46 innings out of Cleveland's bullpen last season.
- The Nationals and catcher Jose Lobaton will avoid arbitration after agreeing to a deal, CSN Washington's Mark Zuckerman reports. Lobaton will earn $1.2MM, FOX Sports' Jon Paul Morosi tweets, which exactly matches his projected 2015 salary. Lobaton hit .234/.287/.304 over 230 PA in backup duty for the Nats last season.
- The Athletics and outfielder Craig Gentry agreed to a one-year, $1.6MM deal to avoid arbitration, FOX Sports' Jon Paul Morosi tweets. Gentry was projected to earn $1.5MM. After posting a .759 OPS over 556 PA in 2012-13, Gentry took a step back at the plate last season, slashing just .254/.319/.289 over 258 plate appearances but still providing tremendous defense (a +16 UZR/150).
- The Nationals have avoided arbitration with second baseman Danny Espinosa, agreeing to a one-year, $1.8MM contract, James Wagner of the Washington Post reports. This deal falls below Espinosa's projected $2.3MM contract, though Espinosa hit .219/.283/.351 in 364 plate appearances for the Nats last season and managed only a .465 OPS in 167 PA in 2013.
- The Indians agreed to a one-year, $2.337MM deal with right-hander Carlos Carrasco, according to Jon Heyman of CBS Sports (via Twitter). This figure is a significant increase over the $1.4MM contract that was projected for Carrasco in his first arb-eligible year. The righty enjoyed a breakout 2014 season, posting a 2.55 ERA, 9.4 K/9 and 4.83 K/BB rate over 134 innings with the Tribe. Carrasco pitched mostly out of the bullpen but also delivered several quality starts down the stretch.
- The Dodgers and outfielder Chris Heisey agreed to a one-year deal worth $2.16MM to avoid arbitration, CBS Sports' Jon Heyman tweets. This is slightly less than the $2.2MM Heisey was projected to earn. Heisey is coming off a .222/.265/.378 slash line over 299 PA with the Reds last season and was dealt to L.A. last month.
- The Angels inked catcher Drew Butera to a one-year, $987.5K deal to avoid arbitration, Jeff Fletcher of the Orange County Register reports. Butera was projected to earn $900K next season. The catcher posted a .555 OPS in 192 PA with the Dodgers last season and was dealt to the Halos last month.
- The Nationals agreed to a one-year, $2.25MM contract with Craig Stammen, avoiding arbitration with the right-hander, CBS Sports' Jon Heyman reports (via Twitter). This figure slightly tops Stammen's projected $2.1MM contract. Stammen posted a 3.84 ERA, 6.9 K/9 and a 4.00 K/BB rate over 72 2/3 innings out of Washington's bullpen last season.
- The Cardinals agreed to a one-year, $1.65MM deal with outfielder Peter Bourjos to avoid arbitration, Derrick Goold of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports. Bourjos was projected to earn $1.6MM. Bourjos displayed his usual top-shelf defense with the Cards last season but only hit .231/.294/.348 over 294 PA.
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Full Story | Comments | Categories: Atlanta Braves | Brett Cecil | Carlos Carrasco | Carlos Corporan | Cesar Ramos | Chicago Cubs | Chicago White Sox | Chris Heisey | Cleveland Indians | Craig Gentry | Craig Stammen | Danny Espinosa | Drew Butera | Felix Doubront | Hector Noesi | Hector Santiago | Houston Astros | James Russell | Javy Guerra | Jose Lobaton | Lonnie Chisenhall | Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim | Los Angeles Dodgers | Marc Rzepczynski | Nate Jones | Neftali Feliz | Oakland Athletics | Peter Bourjos | St. Louis Cardinals | Texas Rangers | Toronto Blue Jays | Transactions | Washington Nationals | Wilson Ramos
Cubs Acquire Felix Doubront
4:41pm: The Red Sox have announced the deal.
2:17pm: The Cubs have acquired Felix Doubront from the Red Sox, tweets Jon Heyman of CBS Sports. Jon Morosi of FOX Sports first reported (on Twitter) that a deal was close.
The Red Sox will receive a player to be named later in return for the 26-year-old lefty, Jim Bowden of ESPN.com reports on Twitter. That player will be determined after the Rule 5 draft, tweets Alex Speier of WEEI.com.
Doubront's tenure in Boston seemed destined to come to an end after he publicly announced his desire to return to the rotation — with another team, if necessary. After beginning the year as one of the team's five starters, Doubront was dropped to the pen after posting a 5.19 ERA over ten starts. Things have only gone downhill since, as he has surrendered a .375/.409/.625 line and 11 earned runs to the 45 opposing hitters he has faced in seven relief appearances.
Chicago will hope that a change of scenery prompts a turnaround for a player who is said to have high-quality stuff. (Over 2012-13, Doubront compiled 323 1/3 innings of 4.59 ERA ball as a starter.) He will be arb-eligible for the first time next year, and his price tag should be manageable given his rough numbers this year. In many respects, Doubront is not unlike several of the Cubs' other recent buy-low pitching additions (both through free agency and trade) — Jake Arrieta, Jason Hammel, and Scott Feldman come to mind — though he comes with the added benefit of a lower cost and extended, uncommitted control.
Jeff Todd contributed to this post.
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Full Story | Comments | Categories: Boston Red Sox | Chicago Cubs | Felix Doubront | Newsstand | Transactions
Cubs Nearing Deal For Felix Doubront
The Cubs are nearing a trade for Red Sox left-hander Felix Doubront, Jon Paul Morosi of FOX Sports tweets.
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AL East Notes: Red Sox, Orioles, Blue Jays
The trade of Jake Peavy might just be the tip of the iceberg for the Red Sox. Brian MacPherson of the Providence Journal lists ten more players the Sox could potentially deal at this week's deadline. Among them are four relievers (Burke Badenhop, Craig Breslow, Andrew Miller and Koji Uehara), plus starter/reliever Felix Doubront. MacPherson notes that Doubront, like 1B/OF Mike Carp (who recently asked for a trade), is eager to get out of Boston.
Jason Mastrodonato of MassLive.com explains that Doubront sees himself as a starter and wants the Red Sox to put him in the rotation if they're going to keep him. "I just want to be a starter and stay there," Doubront says. "If I stay (with the Red Sox), they have to know I have to be a starter. If I go, the other team is going to give me this chance to be a starter." The addition of player discontent to a disappointing roster full of highly tradeable players could make the deadline a very eventful one in Boston. Here's more from the AL East.
- The Blue Jays have a number of needs to balance at the deadline, MLB.com's Gregor Chisholm writes. "I think we have enough resources to do what we want to do," GM Alex Anthopoulos has said, although Chisholm notes that the Jays probably don't have a lot of money to spend and doesn't have a ton of nearly-ready young talent to trade, particularly given that the team is unlikely to deal Marcus Stroman or Aaron Sanchez.
- The Orioles probably won't acquire a top starting pitcher, but they might acquire depth in that area, writes MLB.com's Brittany Ghiroli. They could look for a lefty relief pitcher, as well as a catcher (they've recently been linked to Kurt Suzuki) or second baseman. Orioles executive Dan Duquette seems disinclined to trade top young pitchers, including Kevin Gausman.
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Full Story | Comments | Categories: Baltimore Orioles | Boston Red Sox | Felix Doubront | Toronto Blue Jays
East Notes: Nats, Colon, Rios, Doubront, Headley, Yanks
We just took a look at the Marlins; now here are some notes on the rest of the NL East and their geographical counterparts from the American League:
- The Nationals rank as perhaps the league's quietest contender approaching the trade deadline, in large part because it is difficult to see where the club might reasonably look to upgrade. We've heard previously that the team might target a young shortstop to plug into its pipeline, but one possibility for the MLB roster is a bullpen addition, Adam Kilgore of the Washington Post reports. While the Washington relief corps has been outstanding, and the club lacks apparent roster flexibility, Kilgore says that the Nats are interested in adding depth for the stretch run.
- This is my speculation, but if a new arm is added to the big league club, Washington could potentially stash rookie Aaron Barrett in the minors until rosters expand in September, though he has been quite solid (2.61 ERA with 10.7 K/9 and 4.9 BB/9 in 31 innings). More intriguingly, a pen slot could theoretically be opened if the team was to deal away former starter Ross Detwiler, though that would obviously result in a corresponding loss of depth.
- There have been several reports on Mets starter Bartolo Colon, who is earning $9MM this year and is promised $11MM for 2015. The club is "trying hard" to deal him, according to Danny Knobler (via Twitter), while Newsday's Marc Carig tweets that interest is picking up but the Mets are disinclined to hold onto any of Colon's salary in a deal.
- Moving the 41-year-old won't be easy, writes Joel Sherman of the New York Post, because his future salary is both what New York wants to offload and what other clubs will want to avoid. Meanwhile, Sherman refutes reports suggesting that the Giants have engaged the Mets on Colon (Twitter link), writing that San Francisco would only have interest if it can avoid paying for a significant portion of Colon's 2015 salary. Like Carig, Sherman hears that is not the Mets' preference.
- The Blue Jays have shown interest in bringing back outfielder Alex Rios, currently with the Rangers, reports Jon Heyman of CBSSports.com. Toronto shed Rios and his big contract by declining to revoke an August waiver claim back in 2009, but the veteran has turned things around and now comes with only a $14MM team option left for 2015. Of course, there remains some doubt as to whether the Jays would be able to take on the remainder of Rios's $12.5MM salary for the current season.
- Red Sox starter-turned-reliever Felix Doubront is not enjoying his current role with the club and hopes to see more action — in Boston or elsewhere — reports Peter Abraham of the Boston Globe. The 26-year-old lefty has been mentioned before as a trade candidate, though it is not clear whether Boston will be inclined to move him as the club tries to get back in the mix, especially with talk that Jake Peavy could be dealt. Doubront will be eligible for arbitration for the first time next year.
- The Yankees acquired third baseman Chase Headley with the expectation that he will be a two-month rental, GM Brian Cashman told reporters including MLB.com's Bryan Hoch (Twitter link). The deal came together today after about three weeks of discussions, Cashman added.
- Headley will likely not be the last addition for New York, Cashman indicated in further comments, via Jorge Castillo of the Star-Ledger. "I have more work to do," he said. The GM explained that larger moves could be in the offing: "We've got high-end stuff, without a doubt, players that other teams like. And those players would be available, or will be available, in the right circumstances. These are the deals that I can present to you that we were able to conclude, but we're talking much larger type deals, [and] clearly much smaller, incremental upgrades."
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Full Story | Comments | Categories: Alex Rios | Bartolo Colon | Boston Red Sox | Chase Headley | Felix Doubront | New York Mets | New York Yankees | San Francisco Giants | Texas Rangers | Toronto Blue Jays | Washington Nationals
Red Sox Notes: Rotation, Doubront, Betts
The Red Sox should be willing to trade staff ace Jon Lester and any number of other non-core veteran players, opines Dan Szymborski of ESPN.com (Insider piece). Just as the club acted rationally in dealing away Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford, and Josh Beckett two years ago, Szymborski says that Boston should face reality and take the opportunity to swap out some current pieces for future talent with an eye toward competing next year.
Here's the latest out of Boston:
- One area of apparent excess — as it was before the season started — is the rotation, which just welcomed back Clay Buchholz. But while the club is currently carrying seven starters on its roster, that does not mean that it is simply biding time for a deal, reports Sean McAdam of Comcast SportsNet New England (via Twitter). Maintaining the full staff was not related to an effort to move Jake Peavy, in particular, WEEI.com's Alex Speier reports.
- Nevertheless, southpaw Felix Doubront, who is being moved to the pen, took questions today about the possibility of being dealt. As Jason Mastrodonato of MassLive.com reports, Doubront acknowledged that a trade could have some positive repercussions, as it might deliver a more steady starting role — which is his clear preference. He did emphasize that he would his move to a relief role and a hypothetical departure in stride. As Tim Britton of the Providence Journal reports, Doubront's approaching arbitration eligibility is also in limbo, as he would stand to increase his value as a starter. "Arbitration is just about numbers," said Doubront. "I'm going to try to get better numbers and still win money. For the moment, that's the only thing I can do, the only thing I can focus on and be positive: Get better numbers in this position."
- When the pitching logjam is finally removed, Boston will likely dip into its minor league ranks for a right-handed bat, writes Speier. The club is in no apparent rush, but when it makes a move, the two obvious options are mid-season free agent signee Ryan Roberts, who has put up good numbers since being outrighted, and skyrocketing prospect Mookie Betts. As Speier notes, it is remarkable that a promotion of the 21-year-old is even under consideration.
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Full Story | Comments | Categories: Boston Red Sox | Felix Doubront | Mookie Betts
Red Sox Notes: Doubront, Lester, Bogaerts
The Red Sox are no strangers to White House visits over the last decade, though David Ortiz marked yesterday's team trip to Pennsylvania Avenue by taking a memorable selfie alongside another famous face. Here's some more news from Boston…
- With Felix Doubront set to become eligible for arbitration after the season, MassLive.com's Jason Mastrodonato thinks the young southpaw could be an extension candidate if he pitches well in 2014. Mastrodonato notes that Doubront's status becomes particularly important given that Jon Lester and Jake Peavy are both free agents after the season, though Doubront isn't focusing on contract negotiations. "When that moment comes, we'll talk. You want to stay away from that, for my own good," Doubront said. "If you think about that, mentally it makes things bigger. You just want to stay on the same page. We'll see what happens after this season."
- Lester's impending free agency was discussed by ESPN's Buster Olney in a radio interview on WEEI's Mut & Merloni Show (partial transcript from WEEI.com's Arjuna Ramgopal). Olney feels the middle ground between Lester and the Red Sox falls in the range of a five-year, $110-$120MM contract and while both sides will "have to go out of their comfort zones," Olney feels Lester will have to budge a bit more. "It's going to be because Jon Lester makes it happen, the way that Dustin Pedroia made it happen last year. The Red Sox, philosophically, are not going to box themselves in." The Sox and Lester recently tabled their extension talks, though they could be re-open negotiations during the season.
- Xander Bogaerts' rise from an anonymous 16-year-old from the baseball non-hotbed of Aruba to one of the game's top prospects and the Red Sox Opening Day shortstop is chronicled by Sports On Earth's Jorge Arangure Jr. Boston was able to find Bogaerts due to the organization's wide-ranging scouting process, and Bogaerts took it from there, quickly advancing through the Red Sox academy and minor league system.
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Full Story | Comments | Categories: Boston Red Sox | Felix Doubront | Jon Lester | Xander Bogaerts
AL Notes: Dempster, BoSox Payroll, Drew, O's, Mulder
Earlier today, Ryan Dempster announced he will not pitch in 2014 forfeiting the $13.25MM he was due in the final year of his pact with the Red Sox. Boston, however, does not intend to pursue Ervin Santana, Ubaldo Jimenez, or other free agent starting pitching, writes WEEI.com's Alex Speier. The Red Sox expect to slot Felix Doubront into the starting rotation and Brandon Workman into the swingman role with their stable of pitching prospects providing depth, according to Speier. Elsewhere in the American League:
- Speier notes in the same article the Red Sox have newfound financial flexibility with Dempster's salary now off the books. Boston projects to have a 2014 payroll of $176MM (including $9MM allocated for in-season trades and roster additions), a $13MM cushion against the luxury tax. The Red Sox could re-sign Stephen Drew, but Speier wonders whether common ground can be found.
- GM Ben Cherington passed on the opportunity to discuss the Red Sox's unexpected financial windfall saying the focus should be on Dempster, reports the Boston Globe's Pete Abraham.
- Joel Sherman of the New York Post tweets the Yankees are not considering any additional free agent acquisitions, which would rule them out on Drew.
- Jimmy Paredes, claimed on waivers yesterday by the Orioles, is a prime candidate to lose his 40-man roster spot once the team makes its signing of Suk-Min Yoon official, according to MASNsports.com's Roch Kubatko. Yoon has passed his physical, per multiple reports.
- Mark Mulder, who saw his comeback bid with the Angels end when he ruptured his left Achilles tendon, told reporters, including Alden Gonzalez of MLB.com, he has yet to decide whether he will attempt another return in 2015. "I'd love to say yes, but I don't know. I have to wait and see what the doctors say — see what the process is of how healthy I can get it, how good it feels." Mulder undergoes surgery Monday and the rehab could last up to eight months.
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Full Story | Comments | Categories: Baltimore Orioles | Boston Red Sox | Brandon Workman | Felix Doubront | Jimmy Paredes | Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim | Mark Mulder | New York Yankees | Ryan Dempster | Suk-Min Yoon
Cafardo On Price, BoSox, Granderson, Loney, Dodgers
While David Price has resigned himself to being traded, the Rays appear to be trying to figure out ways to make their ace the focal point of their pitching staff for many years to come, according to Nick Cafardo of the Boston Globe. Cafardo notes, however, the Rays' front office realizes it could be a losing battle, so a trade is likely with nearly half of baseball rumored to be interested in the reigning AL Cy Young Award winner. "It's a big name, a big-time pitcher," one National League GM told Cafardo. "Even if you feel you don't need that level of pitcher, you look into it because he's so special and such a game changer. You do more than kick the tires. You try to make something happen, and I think you'll see teams that don't even need him step up." Here's more from Cafardo's column:
- The Red Sox will likely trade one of their veteran starters to make room for their young arms. Cafardo suggests Jon Lester and Jake Peavy could be available while Ryan Dempster, John Lackey, and Felix Doubront are also vulnerable.
- Jacoby Ellsbury is a perfect fit for the Mariners and Carlos Beltran likewise for the Orioles.
- Curtis Granderson will likely receive a qualifying offer from the Yankees and there's a strong possibility he would take it because he could post his biggest numbers at Yankee Stadium.
- The Dodgers will make Andre Ethier and/or Matt Kemp available this winter. Kemp will come with injury concerns, but that shouldn't prevent a team from taking a chance on his talent.
- James Loney has rebuilt his value with a strong season in Tampa (.299/.348/.430 with a 2.1 oWAR in 158 games and 598 plate appearances). Loney could find a market with the Rangers, if the Rays don't re-sign the free agent first baseman.
- Reds pitching coach Bryan Price appears to be the front-runner to replace Dusty Baker as manager in Cincinnati while Nationals bench coach Randy Knorr is in a strong position to take over from Davey Johnson, unless ownership wants a bigger name as its new manager.
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Full Story | Comments | Categories: Andre Ethier | Baltimore Orioles | Boston Red Sox | Carlos Beltran | Cincinnati Reds | Curtis Granderson | David Price | Felix Doubront | Jacoby Ellsbury | Jake Peavy | James Loney | John Lackey | Jon Lester | Los Angeles Dodgers | Matt Kemp | New York Yankees | Ryan Dempster | Seattle Mariners | Tampa Bay Rays | Texas Rangers | Washington Nationals


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RECIPE: Spanish Rice
I like a lot of rice dishes but I'm not too fond of most of the rice they serve in Mexican-American resturants. Too dry for me. So I set out to do my own. After some initial research thru cookbooks and on the net, I found most start out by toasting the rice first in a skillet and some oil. So... here it is.
1 cup of rice- any type or your favorite.
2 tbsp olive oil
Chili Powder, paprika, red chile flakes etc. to season.
1 or 2 minced garlic cloves
1 small to med. onion, chopped
1 med sweet pepper, chopped
1 can or chopped green mild chiles or fresh ones
Also can add chopped hot ones if you want.
1 cup skinned, seeded and chopped tomatoes or diced tomatoes from a can.
1 1/2 to 2 cups of low sodium chicken broth
Place oil, rice and chili powder, paprika other seasonings into skillet and heat. Stir until rice is a light reddish brown. Then stir in onion, sweet peppers and other peppers until softened. The add in the garlic. I then put in the chicken broth (amount of liquid called for to cook the plain rice in. In my case I used a shorter grain rice that called for 1.5 cups of liquid for 1 cup of rice. It also called for cooking 15 min. instead of 20.) When the rice is cooked, stir in the tomatoes and heat thru. Taste and add any seasonings you like. Cook it to the degree of dryness you like.
The nice thing about this is I can use my garden veggies and even add more if I want. I can make it as juicy or dry as we like and as hot as we want. My husband really likes this and he is a man who usually likes his rice with cream, sugar and cinnamon!!!
Ann in Montana
Thank you for the recipe contribution!
This dish is delicious and a wonderful way to use an abundance of fresh peppers and large juicy garden tomatoes. I love the flavor of the browned rice in chili powder and olive oil. Next time I will brown the rice more to intensify the flavor. I included fresh ground black pepper and chopped parsley in my dish.