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Rob McClure is tightrope walking his way to Broadway in Chaplin, a toe-tapping new musical by Christopher Curtis and Thomas Meehan. See McClure channel the comic icon alongside Christiane Noll, Jenn Colella and more.
Talking with maestro Andrew Lloyd Webber about his musical blockbuster Cats coming back to the West End with a holiday run at the London Palladium starring Nicole Scherzinger...and a rapping Rum Tum Tugger!December 11, 2014
How does Brynn O'Malley celebrate her birthday? By asking the cast of Honeymoon in Vegas all of your questions! And candles and cake and all that good stuff.December 11, 2014
New York Spring Spectacular creators Warren Carlyle, Diane Paulus and Randy Weiner are heating up Radio City Music Hall beginning March 12! See them talk about bringing their love letter to New York City to the stage.December 10, 2014
Get an exclusive sneak preview of Mary Poppins favorite Ashley Brown singing "Feed the Birds" on ABC's Backstage with Disney on Broadway, featuring Jim and Lori Abbott on piano and violin. The one-hour special airs December 14!December 10, 2014
On this week's oh-so-spectacular episode of The Broadway.com Show, we've got an Anna Kendrick Smackdown, a high-flying Star of the Week and more!December 10, 2014
Wish granted! Broadway.com talks to James Corden, Emily Blunt, Anna Kendrick and many more at the starry Into the Woods movie premiere.December 9, 2014
Sin City comes to Broadway! Video clips of Jason Robert Brown's Honeymoon in Vegas starring Tony Danza, Rob McClure and Brynn O'Malley.December 9, 2014
Emma Stone is the newest member of the Kit Kat Klub! Get a first look at the screen star making her Broadway debut in Cabaret, then see her live at Studio 54.December 9, 2014
Just another Sunday in the life of Frankie J. Grande at Rock of Ages. We're talking running around backstage, dressing room hijinx and hanging out with a cardboard Justin Bieber. It's that kind of Sunday.December 9, 2014
Get a front-row seat to the Broadway opening night of The Elephant Man, starring Bradley Cooper, Patricia Clarkson and Alessandro Nivola on December 7, 2014!December 8, 2014
Brynn O'Malley takes her camera to Honeymoon in Vegas' Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade appearance and sits down with co-star Rob McClure for a little chat.December 5, 2014
Broadway.com editors tell all about their favorite shows to see on Broadway this month!December 5, 2014


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Up to 30% improvement!
Would be interesting to see if the new compiler improves for Intel CPUs in that benchmark too.
Phoronix: AMD FX-8150 With The Open64 5.0 Compiler
The Open64 5.0 compiler was released earlier this month with many changes, among the prominently noted items were greater optimizations for AMD's Bulldozer CPUs. In this article is a first-look at the Open64 5.0 compiler performance compared to its earlier release, as tested on an AMD FX-8150 eight-core "Bulldozer" processor.
Up to 30% improvement!
Would be interesting to see if the new compiler improves for Intel CPUs in that benchmark too.
Not much improvement for Pov-Ray floating point work..
A lot of the whining against Bulldozer has been about it's lack of floating point performance from Windows users. Of course, with technologies like OpenCL, it's far better to be doing floating point math on GPUs than CPUs since they're over 1000x faster at it. A lot of game companies still do WAYYY too much floating point work on the CPU. Games such as Bad Company 2 and the like do all their physics calculations on the CPU when they really should be done on the GPU, since the GPUs are designed for those types of massively parallel floating point calculations and CPUs really aren't.
Thankfully there are physics engines out such as Havok that run under OpenCL, which means game companies don't have any excuse to continue using the CPU for so much floating point work. Which I think makes these Bulldozer chips a good choice long-term since they can beat Intel's more expensive chips in integer performance. Though of course, the open source linux drivers are a long way away from supporting OpenCL, though not many serious gamers (Crysis 3, Battlefield 3, etc) run those drivers anyway. OpenCL is going to become much more important in the future as AMD is shifting the focus of floating point away from their CPU cores and towards their APU / GPU cores which run OpenCL for floating point work..
Last edited by Sidicas; 11-25-2011 at 07:36 AM.
Hm, I thought "available market" is a good excuse. If your minimum requirements are mid-range HD6k or GTX4xx card, that's cutting out a lot of people.Thankfully there are physics engines out such as Havok that run under OpenCL, which means game companies don't have any excuse to continue using the CPU for so much floating point work.
Tom's hardware concluded that 6 core Sandy Bridge-E was 30% faster than the FX-8150. How much of that came down to compiler optimizations, especially since a rather suspicious number of benchmarks are compiled with Intel's own ICC compiler? There is no mainstream compiler that is AMD-biased to balance out the results. Of the 30 benchmarks, the average user will use between 0 and 3 of those applications in real life, but yet they will be "recommended" to buy the Intel CPU based on a useless aggregate score that is distorted by synthetic benchmarks like Futuremark which always favor Intel by an unrealistic amount compared to real life.
30% isn't that big of a difference in real life anyways(assuming it's even really 30%), especially since most CPUs are in idle/power-saving mode most of their lifetime. If AMD would market Bulldozer as a quad-core with superior hyperthreading, then it suddenly becomes the world's fastest consumer-grade CPU, since that 6 core SB-E CPU requires 30% more die size, 2 more cores, and costs 4x as much to acheive only 30% more performance.
*Posted from my screaming fast FX-8120*
Offloading FP to GPU should mean lower prices than current CPUs since it means the CPU was designed to do less than current CPUs.
One thing not clear from traditional benchmarks is what are the capabilities of the CPUs and then test those capabilities. That way you get an idea of what you are paying for rather than what the quality of software X is. Software X may be written by a crappy programmer.
Has BD 8150 been compared to previous Phenom IIs? That way we would have an idea of performance compared to past CPUs and if the price is justified.
So no, the comparisons against the Phenom II aren't fair at all..
Keep in mind, Bulldozer runs FMA4 while future Intel CPUs will run FMA3.. They're mutually exclusive though I'm sure there are some tricks in there to get a binary to run FMA4 on Bulldozer CPUs and FMA3 on Intel CPUs (different compiled paths).. Certainly a lot of the performance boosts in this new Open64 compiler revolve around using FMA4. It's the only compiler out there besides GCC that has FMA4 accelerations on the drawing board.
Last edited by Sidicas; 11-25-2011 at 09:42 PM.
How about something like:
"Unless you're building a PC to run the Cinnebench single threaded benchmark, you're better off with a Core2 Duo."
Bulldozer did have some regressions, mostly in single threaded benchmarks. However, it's also faster than the Phenom II X6 in many single threaded benchmarks, and almost universally faster in well threaded benchmarks.
I'm posting from an FX8120, and it feels faster than any Sandy Bridge, Nehalem or Phenom II I've ever used. I have the following windows open:
A Virtualbox VM running an Apache/PHP/Postgresql test server
A Virtualbox VM running a SVN server
Several terminals
...and a few more random windows
, and not ever a hint of lag, despite running 2 craptastic Java-based IDEs at the same time. I can even do something CPU intensive like creating a Truecrypt volume or compiling the Linux kernel, and still no slowdown whatsoever. I hate to break it to you, but a quad core Sandy Bridge cannot do all of those things and still be perfectly responsive, especially if you're using it's IGP.

subset: commoncrawl


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Lights out: Ravens beat 49ers to win Super Bowl
Monday, February 4, 2013
NEW ORLEANS (AP) — From blowout to blackout to shootout, Joe Flacco and the Baltimore Ravens had just enough power to survive one of the most electric Super Bowls ever.
"How could it be any other way? It's never pretty. It's never perfect. But it's us," John Harbaugh said. "It was us today."
The loss of power delayed the game 34 minutes and left players from both sides stretching and chatting with each other. It also cost Baltimore whatever momentum it built, and that was considerable after Jacoby Jones' 108-yard kickoff return and game MVP Flacco's three touchdown passes made it 28-6.
Back came San Francisco (13-5-1) in search of its sixth Lombardi Trophy in as many tries.
Michael Crabtree's 31-yard touchdown reception on which he broke two tackles made it 28-13. A couple minutes later, Frank Gore's 6-yard run followed a 32-yard punt return by Ted Ginn Jr., and the 49ers were within eight.
Ray Rice's fumble at his 24 led to David Akers' 34-yard field goal, but Baltimore woke up for a long drive leading to rookie Justin Tucker's 19-yard field goal.
San Francisco wasn't done challenging, though, and Colin Kaepernick's 15-yard TD run, the longest for a quarterback in a Super Bowl, made it 31-29. A 2-point conversion pass failed when the Ravens blitzed.
Tucker added a 38-yarder with 4:19 remaining, setting up the frantic finish.
Baltimore led 28-6 after Jones opened the second half with the longest kickoff return in a Super Bowl, his eyes glancing up at the videoboard, presumably to watch himself sprint to the end zone. The 49ers showed they were capable of a comeback in their previous game: They trailed by 17 against the Atlanta Falcons before winning the NFC championship game.
First, Kaepernick threw a 31-yard touchdown pass to Crabtree, pulling them within 15 points midway through the third quarter. Ravens defensive backs Cary Williams and Bernard Pollard missed tackles on the play. Then, with 5 minutes left in the third quarter, Frank Gore swept around right end for a 6-yard TD run, making it 28-20, before Ravens running back Ray Rice's fumble gave the ball right back to the 49ers.


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8th Annual Ball
Topic ListingGaia Forums » MISC Forums » Memorable Threads » 8th Annual Ball
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- 9th Annual Ball This year marks the 9th Annual User Run Gaia Ball! The theme for this year is the 7 Deadly Sins!
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Interest Naruto: Ultimate Ninja Storm 3's Yagura, Roshi Gameplay Videos Posted
posted on 2013-03-04 10:15 EST by Egan Loo
CyberConnect2's latest to arrive in N. America, Europe this week on PS3, Xbox 360
The European branch of Namco Bandai Games began streaming two more gameplay videos featuring Yagura and Roshi from its upcoming Naruto Shippūden Ultimate Ninja Storm 3 game on Monday.
CyberConnect2 is once again developed the game, which will arrive on the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 in Japan on April 18. North and South America will get the game on Tuesday, followed by the European release on Friday. Namco Bandai Games' online store in the United States is offering an exclusive edition with a poster, soundtrack, trading card, and two figures. Various downloadable costumes will be available in Japan, North America, and Europe.
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Answerman - Endlessly Searching
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Results 1 to 15 of 19
Thread: What keeps your reader awake?
January 15th, 2010, 01:56 AM #1
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What keeps your reader awake?
What you add to your scenes to make them more interesting?
Possible examples: Plot twists and surprises. Questions and mystery. Imagery (beautiful, exotic, memorable, what?). Neat dialogue.
When I'm just writing, I produce utter garbage, very boring stuff. I don't have much style. So I want to improve that as much as possible.
When I began to investigate how good writers do it, I found myriad things. However, I think I can't quite be sure which findings are important and which are just minor style details.
I have been reading quite many textbooks about writing, but they're nor much help here. They take too much for granted. Some texts about old "pulp writers" have been illuminating, but basically there's not much useful.
I do not need exact advice, but more like what could be good idea to think now and then when my text is going to that "utter drivel" class again.
(If this is hard to understand, sorry, English is not my native language.)
January 15th, 2010, 05:13 AM #2
Hello MuchAdo,
Welcome to the forums!
What do you add to your scenes to make them more interesting?
I once read somewhere that a mystery and crime author, when he doesn't know what to do next, simply writes something like: "Josh opened the door. He found himself looking down the barrel of a gun."
To each his own. But I can only cringe at the thought of it.
Scenes are interesting because of the characters that drive them. They have to be emotionally engaging and believable, which naturally entails good dialogue (internal and external).
Plot twists are exciting for readers, if not overdone. If you twist the plot all the time, then the readers won't be surprised any more - they'll just expect the unexpected.
Threat and danger - how will the characters survive the next one hundred pages?
Questions and mystery can be achieved with a good story outline. If you plan a complex novel and feed the answers only gradually to the readers, it will keep them reading to find out the why and how.
Imagery? It needs to fit the situation, fit what you're writing. Are you trying to build a scary atmosphere? Or did the characters just enter Grandma's living room and you need the readers to feel that heart-warming coziness, smell the cookies...
Um, I think I'm really just stating the obvious. But I wouldn't know how else to respond to the question. I certainly don't "add" anything deliberately to the scenes, just to try and make them more spicy. I try to write spicy scenes, not boring ones that I try to save with a poor plot twist.
Are you sure you produce utter garbage? Follow the general advice: write something and edit it to the best that you can. Then, don't touch it for 6 weeks. Read through it. Is it really that bad?
Style develops over time and you cannot force it. The fastest way to acquire your own style is by writing as much as you can. You may imitate other authors at first, but soon you'll find the voice you want to write in.
Also, a good way to improve is through workshops, either in real life, at the sffworld.com workshop, at the sffworld flash fiction contests, or at critters.org
Happy Writing!
Last edited by Scorpion; January 15th, 2010 at 05:21 AM.
January 15th, 2010, 06:06 AM #3
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Thank you, Scorpion, that gave me a lot to think about.
Basically, I think, my problem is same as the difference between a random guy telling a joke and a professional stand-up comedian. I can tell the best story in the world in very boring manner.
I think anticipation, action and plotting are wonderful ways to keep the reader interested, but I think my problem is more in the micro level.
Humor is good idea, if it fits the atmosphere. Certainly it makes the style more interesting.
I have found that thriller writers use very strict structure inside scenes. Also they have groups of scenes that follow a certain pacing, scenes have some kind of "roles" inside of a certain "cycle" which repeats...
Kind of paint-by-numbers, I know that most people hate it when they realize it, but it seems to work very well for some well known authors...
I admit that I have no terms, words or names for these... Things. But maybe you understand what I'm talking about?
I certainly know that there are authors who can make very bland developments very interesting... It's just that the prose itself elevates them.
January 15th, 2010, 10:52 AM #4
keeping the reader awake
You have, in fact, zeroed in on a prime structural element of engaging prose. If we execute each discrete scene (often a chapter) in a similar fashion as we execute the over-all story, we're far more likely to grip the reader.
My favorite scenes generally (but not always) cleave to the viewpoint of a single character. We know what that character wants. We feel that character's fear. We sense that character's disappointments as he/she meets with obstacles. Perhaps the biggest difference between scene structure and the over-all structure of the story is that a single scene rarely resolves the conflict ... it's more likely to end with a tension-heightening cliff hanger (set-up for a following scene).
When the scene employs multiple viewpoints, the goals are the same as when it employs only one: To move the story forward and to heighten tension. Imagine a scene employing alternating viewpoints between Wyatt Earp and one of the Clancy brothers during the shoot-out at the OK Corral. In this hypothetical scene, it would be thrilling to leap back and forth from the protagonist's head to the antagonist's -- kind of like a chess game. In fact, spectator sports of all kinds employ multiple viewpoint ... but the scene structure is similar.
As you've accurately pointed out, there are many aspects to engaging prose. Structure is just one. I hope this helps a bit, even though I'm simply expanding on information contained within your question.
Keep on typin' -- WB
January 15th, 2010, 02:18 PM #5
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Exactly, Window Bar, you said it perfectly; this kind of "building techniques" I'm trying to learn. They're a lot more efficient than I can come up with my own inventions.
I read Michael Moorcock's and Jack Vance's thoughts some time ago and they show why many things are in the prose. It's quite funny to find out that many obvious things are meaningless when I have always thought they are the gist of it. Moorcock said that most of action is unimportant, that I find funny, because those novels I have read from him seemed to contain a lot of action... They actually don't.
There is quite a lot smoke and mirrors there, I want to learn from as many word-magicians I can!
January 15th, 2010, 08:36 PM #6
Be careful when doing imagery. When do you most often skip through pages in a book? If you're like me and many others, it's when the writer goes overboard on imagery. My own rule of thumb, show what needs to be shown. Then get back to your plot.
January 15th, 2010, 08:54 PM #7
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WindowBar hit it on the nail as to what keeps readers awake at night, desperate to read just one more chapter - structure.
Before I started to write (and take a bunch of writing classes), I thought it was magic the way a writer could build a story with such intensity that I just couldn't put the book down.
Now I know how they do it! Scenes and sequels.
I'm not saying that I can do it, but I think I understand how they do it, and it all has to do with the scene/sequel thing and placing the satisfying sequel not at the end of the chapter, but at the beginning of the next chapter. So that you just have to turn that page and find out how the character reacts to what just happened in the scene. Often times, the chapter breaks are not defined until much later in the process of writing the draft to maximize that effect (at least, that's what I have been told and a few books I've read lately seem to follow that logic).
Not everyone writes that way, but some writers do and are quite successful at it.
January 15th, 2010, 11:09 PM #8
... I think some of my readers stay awake at night worried that I might write something else.
OK, maybe not, (hopefully not). There's a lot to not being boring, which is your question. Part of it is having a good rhythm to your work, keeping the story moving with pauses at the right times. Dialogue helps, having the characters interact with each other and talk instead of a long exposition explaining something which may or may not be important. Don't write the parts that people are going to skip anyway.
Get lots and lots of feedback, some of it from people who don't care about your feelings.
January 16th, 2010, 12:35 AM #9
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What others have said, but also...readers are glued to your story by two basic things, a character they really care about, and that character being in an unstable situation (so you want to know what happens next to that character.)
Boring character in a suspenseful situation...who cares? He could fall off a cliff, the train could run over her, the team of ninjas could crash through the door and send a hail of throwing stars and chains and knives at that character and you would not care. Bleh. Not even disgusting and o-good-he's-dead, but just...bleh.
Interesting character in a stable situation...well, you'll be interested for a few minutes, but if the character doesn't transition to an unstable situation of some kind--if he's not worried, scared, concerned, startled, anything but peaceful and content--you won't keep reading.
Boring character doing nothing, you don't even get past the first page.
But a character you care about doing things that put him in an unstable position--whether at the bottom or the top of the roller-coaster ride--will glue your reader to the page.
How do you start? Dump your character into trouble. How do you continue? Every time his head comes above water, push it back into trouble. Trouble can be various: emotional trouble, job trouble, physical trouble, political trouble, nuclear-blast-that-ends-civilization trouble. In fact, it's useful to give your character multiple sources of trouble, so readers don't get bored with the same kind of trouble. (Most of us deal with the same kind of trouble over and over again in real life. Fiction does it better.)
January 16th, 2010, 04:04 AM #10
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I have read others, where the construction was a bit off, things could have been knitted together better, yet the emotional link with the characters and their unfolding situation was so strong that you over looked the faults and really enjoyed the book.
Without giving the reader an emotional connection to the character and their situation, then all the correct structure in the world won't give you a page turner.
January 16th, 2010, 09:15 AM #11
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Yes, character is certainly the most important ingredient. Exceptionally interesting characters are really good way to keep the reader awake.
I also admit that the sense of urgency is very important, although there are some small exceptions (um, I said I read Vance...). Basically, anticipation is more important than the action itself.
I'm not disagreeing in any basic principles. But I think that sometimes nice little things, like structural texture, style or something else also makes the prose more fluid. It's often quite invisible effect, if I'm not specifically paying attention to it. Some old Aldiss story had such a strong atmosphere, that I was compelled to read it on one sitting. Afterwards I figured it was mostly style tricks, kind of ways to direct the focus of the reader. Lovecraft also had quite unique styling in some stories. They were also very intense experiences.
It might be that I'm completely on wrong track, but testing this assumption is a way to get more prose done, so there's nothing but benefits, if I try!
January 16th, 2010, 12:33 PM #12
One strong stylistic device you might work on (perhaps you already have done so) is the use of precise, strong, evocative verbs to describe the situation. Verbs carry deeper emotion and sensuality than do adjectives. Here are some examples:
Weak: He smelled as if he had ridden a wet horse.
Strong: He stank of wet horse.
Weak: She wished she could see her young man soon.
Strong: She yearned for her lover.
Actually, these examples gain strength via two devices: exact verbs and brevity.
Truly, your inquiry is so broad that we could throw rocks in almost any direction and be certain to hit something! It would be interesting to know your own favorite means for achieving a compelling tale.
January 16th, 2010, 01:42 PM #13
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I think I'm not quite capable in carrying the torch yet, but I think I'd search scenes with rich imagery, which contain developments in the beginning and revelations, mysteries or small scale surprises in the end.
That, in addition to strong characters and good plotting might be the goal.
Why I'm even thinking this? Just because you can't write plot. Or character. You can only write scenes, which reveal something about plot or character. If I'm not good in scenes, much will be lost.
Of course this is oversimplification. I'm good at those...
January 16th, 2010, 10:51 PM #14Possible examples: Plot twists and surprises. Questions and mystery. Imagery (beautiful, exotic, memorable, what?).
For example, in my first book there was a scene where the warrior monk was about to be attacked by a warrior's wolf. Rather than diving right into the sequence of the fight, I began to describe her actions and motivations. "She tightly gripped her staff and raised it to a position where any strike was achievable," or "her first thought of action was to side step the beast's lunge and crash her staff into its spine, hoping to quickly end the fight".
I know it sounds a bit cheesy, but my intention is to bring the thoughts of my characters, not just their actions, into the minds of the readers. Its almost as if I desire for the reader to connect with the character, while still being in a distant fantasy world.
I wish you the best of luck...
January 17th, 2010, 06:19 AM #15
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JT Billow, that sounds like a nice way to immerse reader. I thought that good connection between characters improves connection between the prose and the reader, but that's something I am struggling with. It seems so easy in others' texts, but it's quite hard for me to write.


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Sawyer Coffee Table
- Overview
We love the simplicity and warmth of 18th-century Amish furniture. This coffee table evokes that style with design details like exposed battens, faux dowel pins and decorative escutcheons above the drawer pulls. Its high profile makes it ideal for games or casual meals. Extra-deep drawers hold everything from laptops and iPads to books and DVDs.
- 60" wide x 28" deep x 20.5" high
- Crafted with solid sungkai wood and finished in Signature Whiskey.
- Two large dovetailed drawers.
- Hand-planed and lightly distressed surfaces emphasize the table's natural beauty.
- Assembly required.
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- Built from sungkai wood and pecan veneers.
- English dovetailed drawers open smoothly on waxed wood glides, and feature drawer stops for safety.
- Overall: 60" wide x 28" deep x 20.5" high
- Top: 60" wide x 28" deep x 1.5" thick
- Drawer Interior (2): 16" wide x 15" deep x 5" high
- Distance Between Legs: 43" side to side; 16" front to back
- Maximum Weight Capacity: 100 pounds
- Weight: 97 pounds
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|Regions:Dover/Somersworth -Great Bay - Rochester - Southern Maine
|Exeter Greenland Portsmouth New Castle Newington Stratham Rye
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Portsmouth Elks Hoop Shoot winners announced
Thursday, January 3, 2013
PORTSMOUTH – The Portsmouth Elks held local qualifying for the 2012 Elks Hoop Shoot at the new Connie Bean Center recently, with three local children advancing to next month's Southern New Hampshire competition.
Judging by their scores, the local winners will stand a very strong chance to advance through the upcoming district, state and regional competitions. Portsmouth will play host for the State Finals on Sunday, Feb. 3, 2013, at Portsmouth High School. Winners there will have the chance to move onto the New England Regional competition and ultimately to the National Hoop Shoot championship, which will be held at the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, Mass., in April.


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It will help to get the latest and greatest git stuff for Mesa, kernel and drm and do some tweaking, but you know that already.
1st "vote with your wallet" is not an illusion. The GPU and driver type will display in every statistic - for example on upcoming Steam stat.
Passive cooling is best thing you can do, because it reduces noise, vibrations, EMI and amount of dust pumped through the tower. Still, if one would go for passive cooling, its better to either watercool to huge passive radiator or use an all-Cu case and connect every component to it by means of heatpipes. For machines with lower energy drain, passive is definately better than fan cooling, if its working.
Also, AMD GPUs are much more energy efficient and with larger field of usage than that of Nvidia. Nvidias are strict gaming cards.
Electricity is cheap my ass, perhaps if you live in Bagamas. In EU the average cost is now 25 eurocent/kWh, three years before it was ~17 eurocent.
It will help to get the latest and greatest git stuff for Mesa, kernel and drm and do some tweaking, but you know that already.
Last edited by pingufunkybeat; 01-11-2013 at 08:14 AM.
Electricity is not cheap everywhere, and there's no need to burn coal for no reason. It also depends on your system. I have a multi-seat setup, for example, and this is where you want a good case fan and passive, low-power cards rather than several noisy fans spinning all the time.Electricity is cheap too. I bet you use suspend instead of shut down? AMD CPUs and GPUs still use more power and make more noise, again. Their lifespan is also shorter (at least for GPUs).
I always shut down, and I use a kill switch for all electronics, BTW.
It is amazing how everything can turn into a flamewar on Phoronix is'int it? What is making this all the more amusing is the video card I am looking at is not even passively cooled in the first place.
Still, thanks for the advice everyone.
Just be glad you didn't mention BSD
I have seen huge coolers for ~5$ new, only your garantie may void(depending where they put the sticker) and you should proof-watch temps.
For the driver BSD is ideal license if the technology is patented, so that it can be used in variety of OSes without rewrites.
Last edited by crazycheese; 01-11-2013 at 04:02 PM.
Russia produces 80% of electricity via nuclear power plants. Europe decided its dangerous (it is), so they put "ecology tax" on convenient plants and ecological plants had this removed, which skyrocketed the first and lowered the later, but overall it went UP great deal.


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Several of you recently have asked the really tough question, as Bess did last month: "When, and how, do we make the decision to put her (our mother) in a special Alzheimer's unit?"
The reality of persons diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease or a similar progressive dementia is that many will ultimately need to make a move because they need more care than can be provided at home.
Families can sometimes lose sight of the fact that the demands of full-time caregiving are more then any one person can realistically manage. Understandably though, they may resist the thought of moving a loved one to a care facility.
In making the decision of when to move, there are no right or wrong answers. All caregivers, families, and persons with dementia are unique and will have different circumstances. Friends, doctors, and individual family members will each have opinions about when or if someone should be moved.
However, for most of you the decision to move a loved one is based on a combination of practical, psychological and/or medical reasons that may include one of more of the following:
Even when a thoughtful decision is made to a move a loved one, caregivers are bound to feel sadness, grief, fear, and probably plenty of guilt. These feeling are normal. Caregivers may feel guilty over not upholding old promises to parents or spouses, or they may fear what others will think or say, or fear that the care will be inferior. In addition, the decision underscores the inevitable decline of their loved one, resulting in further sadness and grief.
Once the move is made, many families say it was harder than they had imagined, and that they probably waited too long. The degree to which you can reasonably adjust to the transition is often associated with the planning that was done before the move. In other words, accepting the move seems to be less painful when families feel that they took the time to explore options and then made the best decision they could.
Keep in mind that the role of caregiver doesn't abruptly end once a loved one lives elsewhere, it just changes. You still play a vital role as your loved one's caregiving advocate. However, without direct care responsibilities, you can resume with renewed appreciation the time you spend with other loved ones.
Finally, if you love someone with Alzheimer's disease, remember you are entitled to have a life of your own. Taking care of yourself is a gift to your loved ones as well as yourself. You simply cannot meet every demand. Your thoughts and feeling are normal. You feel guilty because you love.
"The promise to always keep mother at home might have been made with the best intentions and hopes, but inherent in that commitment is the idea that the family will do what is best for Mother. It may be a promise that should be broken, because keeping mother at home may not be best for her."
— from "The Best Friends Approach to Alzheimer's Care"
Angela Lunde
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Our father was diagnosed with Alzheimers/Dementia about 5 years ago. My brother, sisters, and I made the decision to convince him that moving to assisted living was best for him. With home health support, he could have stayed in his home longer, but we wanted people at the assisted living home to get to know him before he began to decline severely.
As Dad gets ready to start his 6th year in assisted living, we all look back on that decision as one of the best we have made. Staff and fellow residents treat him as the friend they made prior to his more dramatic loss of memory and cognition. I understand that there are clear criteria for when our father will not longer be able to live here, and I also believe that he will be able to remain in assisted living longer because he came here early in the disease.
my husband ws diagnosed with alzh. 2 years ago , he is 95 , we have been married 60 years , , we are from Cuba , he is a Dr. I am a nurse , I am 80 ,I have many health problems but even when is very hard to take care of him because his memory is almost gone , he recognizes his children and grands, but sometimes confuses their names but I promised him he will die at home in his own bed , I am very tired but you will never ever heir me saying that time is going too fast and I will not have time to enjoy life or the golden years , etc, those forgot that their mothers carried them 9 months in Gods knows what kind of situation and brougt them to life , its soooo unfair to throw them under the bus when they have no life or money , for those I feel ill , because they will have to answer God at the end of their own life
My mom is now in a retirement Alzheimer Home. She cries a lot and wants to go home. However her physical being has declined so much. She wears depends all the time, she has lost her mobility, she has lost her appetite and lacks energy. We are on the list for long term care and now my brother and his family want to take her to their home. They are already a full house and have their own family issues. I feel this is a mistake as my moms condition will worsen and they will not be able to cope. What to do?
It is true that patients of Alzheimer's disease required lots of attention and care and they can get more attention and care in medical centers or hospitals than they can get in home but at the same time their family want to stay with the patient so they can spend as much time as they can because there is no cure for this disease till date and most of its patients live about 2-3 years after the diagnosis.
I am about to move my 84-year old mother with mid stage Alzheimer's into an assisted living facility. She has been living in her home with a daily caregiver and after a recent wandering incident she now has 24/7 care giving in her home. Several close friends around her including her a few of her friends, her boyfriend and her sister who lives 2,000 miles away think that home is best place for her simply because she wants to stay there yet they have their own agendas. I have tried to honor her wishes for the past 6 years in keeping in her home but there are many issues that have converged to make me feel that this is the best decision for her long term care. The neighborhood she lives in has been declining with recent murders and break-ins within a block of her home. Half the time she does not even realize she is in her home. The caregivers are thoughtful and caring but she is not getting enough mental and physical stimulation from the one-on-one care giving. She just sits there a lot because I know they get tired of repeating the same thing for hours. But I have been through this before with my father who is now in an assisted living and wish I had moved faster to get him there. It really did improve his health and we shifted from crisis management to care management. Guilt, anxiety, grief, tears and fatigue all will take its toll with any care giving decision for an Alz patient whether in home or in facility. You just try to make the best decision for everyone.
My dad who is 84 and at stage 6 of Alzheimer's moved into an assisted living home about a month ago. My mom who is 81 was taking care of him at home until then. It was a very difficult decision and she is feeling guilty but also realizes that it needed to be done. Even with my sisters' daily support she was the one who was with him at night, she was the one that he would swear at and call a liar when she told him she was his wife he was looking for, she was the one who felt like a prisoner in her home because if she went anywhere he would work himself into such a frenzie that he wouldn't be able to sleep that night which meant that she would have to be awake to make sure he was safe. She now feels guilty for feeling relief from exhaustion. I think that no matter how old your loved one is or whether it's your parent or spouse you go through these feelings. It is truly a grieving process. My mom says it's like your dad is dead but she can go visit him. They will be celebrating their 63rd anniversary this week. Really it's my mom who will be celebrating it because my dad is not even aware of it. Even though he just moved in to assisted care a month ago he's been asking to go home every night for the past three years. He's wants to move home with his dad and is waiting for his sisters to come and pick him up. I think Alzheimer's is harder than death. At least death you grieve once. We seem to grieve on a daily basis for years.
6 years ago my brotherand I had to put our angel mother in a family care home. It broke my heart, but I knew it was best for her - lots of tears after, but the decision had been right.
My husband of 55 years was diagnosed 5 years ago and I have been his sole caregiver. Things had been getting a little rocky lately, but still manageable. Last week he became delusional and had no idea who I was - i was the enemy who had locked all of the doors so he couldn't get out (he had gotten out and took a swift walk for about a mile - terrified me, but we finally got him home...so the locks were upgraded to deadbolts needing keys) We went through 4 days of horror before the meds prescribed finally began to work. He knows me occasionally now - but is very suspcious of the 5 hr/5 day a wk caregiver I have hired. He still wanders and thinks he has to "go home" - I know what is coming, though I am trying hard to hold off as long as possible, but I can't continue to stay awake all night - then try to be there for him during the day...(I'm 73 - he is 77) but I am so sickened by the probability of having to put him somewhere. I was so sure I was right with mom - but with him I am so frightened I will make the wrong choice... I adored mom - and it hurt me - but this is taking my breath! The decision and when to put it into action--the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I sympathize with those who have done it and feel guilt. I don't know if I can
My mother in law is suffering from Dementia and it is getting steadily worse. She still lives in her own home but will not be able to much longer. She suffers from many of the symptoms described in this article. Unfortunately she is resistant to entering a nursing home and her children are afraid to make her angry and also afraid that she will enter the home and go into deep depression and just "wilt away and die". It is very frustrating as we have no good solution to getting her to enter the nursing home. I guess there are no good solutions and we will just have to pray that the Lord helps us to be strong and do what needs to be done. It helps to read other peoples experiences though. I salute those of you who have parents living with you. That is not an option here though. I believe she is beyond that stage.
After 27 yrs my husband is now in a health care facility.......... I took care of him totally before and now am almost doing the same in nursing home......... he wanders, falls, and has minimal care, and is so over drugged to keep him under their thumb. Becarefull what you wish for in placing them in a facility...........
I have read with interest a number of the blogs on this page. I have my mom with severe, end stages alzheimers living with me - she is paralysed in her legs - she cannot do anythine at all for herself - is obviously wearing diapers, has to be fed and bathed, etc. I have an exceptional, full-time caregiver living with us. As a result of all my experieces with my mom over the past 2 years, I have decided to open a small exclusive home for frail/step-down/alzheimers elderly people. I am currently looking for a suitable home to purchase and I have a website being designed at the moment - it will be in the Northern suburbs of Jhb. I (with my caregivers) plan to look after the 6 (to max 8) elderly people with the same care and consideration and love that I look after my own mother. I have a real burning desire to provide a service like this as I am sure there are many children of frail/alzheimers parents who don't know where to turn and who to trust with their loved ones. You are more than welcome to email me if you would like more info or to discuss or even advise.
information is the best tool i have found so far!
please keep it coming
My Mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimers' almost five years ago and has been placed in an Assisted Living Facility for only dementia and Alzheimer patients. She seems to do very well there, except for when we visit her, she still insists that when she can walk well again she wants to go home. She is not like most of the patients there. She is well aware of her surroundings and is very smart and answers all the puzzles and questions that the Activity director gives the patients.
My problem is, of course, even though she is getting great care and balanced meals every day I still feel the guilt of putting her there instead of taking her home with me and my husband. We live in a two story home and all bedrooms are on the top floor. She cannot climb stairs and also is incontinent and very forgetful. For example we visit twice a week and usually after her lunch, but she cannot remember what was served or even that she had eaten.
We were told at the rehab center she was at due to two falls six months apart, which caused both hips to have hip replacement surgeries, that she could not go home and be alone.
After researching various choices, the Assisted Living Facility was the best choice for her and us financially.
I pray every nite for strength and forgiveness from my God for having to put her there, but everyone says I've done my best for her own good. Somehow this doesn't erase my guilt.
I am happy to be able to have this blog to express my concerns. It helps venting
My mom was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia 5 years ago and Parkinsons last year. She was living alone in another state 5 years ago and she recognized she was no longer able to live alone so far away from family. After much discussion and with great doubts I agreed to try having her live with my husband and I . We discussed what would happen when she was no longer able to care for herself and she stated she would want to move to a facility as she would not want to be a burden. She has become increasingly dependent on us and as a result of so many health crises and emergencies I was forced to retire early from my job. My husband and I cannot go anywhere without her and we are unable to travel or even visit with our adult children or participate in outings with them unless it is an activity she can easily do. In spite of our early talk and plans she does not want to leave, She does not see herself as a burden and in fact thinks we can do what ever we want and she is fine alone. She has no understanding of her dependence and inability to be independent. It is a terrible situation and I feel very trapped. My husband and I feel we are getting older quickly and soon enough we will not be able to enjoy things we could now. Life goes so quickly and the biggest lesson I have learned is we will never burden our children. We plan to continue caring for her as best we can for now but we have to make some changes before it is too late for us to enjoy our "golden years&q
I am in the same boat as many of the posters here. My mother in law has severe alzheimer's and is at the point that she needs to go to a care home, and has been for sometime. My husband has been her caretaker for over ten years. He is pretty resistant to placing her in a home, and I don't know how to encourage him to do so.
During the past one or two months, she has started falling often, and in the past week or so, she has become unable to feed herself. She gets angry at him and starts screaming horribly. Just giving her medicine is often a huge battle, not to mention when she needs to stand and walk a few feet to use the toilet.
This has caused an enormous toll on him physically, and worse emotionally. It is causing grief with our entire family.
He has hired respite care, but I don't see that it is helping him much, as he feels the need to stick around the house while they are there.
I hope that I can help him decide that it is time for her to be moved, and help him overcome the intense grief and fear he has.
We recently relocated my mother in law to an assisted living facility for dementia/Alzheimer's patients. She is 83 and in the early stages of the disease, and the early discussions were predictably hostile, angry and guilt laden. At some point she made some peace with the decision, and is better than she has been in some time. She is on a protocol of anti-depressants, and is, I believe, relieved to know that she is safe, and won't be able to wander, fall, or have any issue that won't be addressed with some immediacy. We are fortunate, and I want others to know it isn't an easy transition, but it can work out for the best. She is happy, safe, and is in a loving and non-judgmental environment. She is eating, socializing and prospering. What a gift...
i have waited too long. for 8 years i have watched my mothers capabilities decrease. arthritis has crippled her, dementia has kept her from performing daily activities for a very long time, but now her vision is greatly impaired. lately i am up most of the night, and i cherish the nights she sleep through. she is a danger to herself. constant observation is needed. i work full time and did not realize that i would be greatful that my husband wasn't working. it has effected my entire family. i can't do it any more..and have taken the first steps to nursing home placement. she should be there now.........i waited too long....and i am a nurse. there is no way to do it all. depends, commode, lift chair, i am now her walker.
I have just made arrangments to move my uncle of 88 years of age with Alz to an assisted living phycility closer to me by 186 miles. I have restled with this for so long. Being the only family member taking on the responcibility of making sure my uncle is taken care of has been a donting undertaking but I wouldnt have it any other way. I always have worried am I doing the right thing on every aspect of his care since he really can not tell me how he feels with out either being very angry and aggitated or being very compliant and just going with the flow. I had promissed him I would keep him in his apt (ind Living) but after having to add 4 nurses aides at least 4 times a day it just isnt enough. Going throught boughts of not eatting, taking his meds,wanting to stay in bed all day, not maintaining daily hygen etc. In addition to doing this for a year and a half with 2 falls, fracturing his hip, breaking a rib and just overall brusing. I needed to do more than I was and I am glad that there are places and organizations to assist familys with this loving care that is needed to make our loved one have the best that they can have during these ever changing times.
The gals at the facility beauty shop will often take some appts. from the community. It is a good way for your loved one to get to know the place so if respite care or long term placement is necessary; they already know the place and so do the caregiver. I am doing this with my husband who always went to a barber until the barber retired. He likes the gal because she understands and is patient with his memory and word problems. He also is making friends with some of the men and feels helpful to them.
Well...I have promised to keep Mom here until the end. I don't suppose she knows or cares much anymore. She is still marginally continent but getting out of the bathroom is often a major war. She eats better for me than anyone else, and I just got a lift to pick her up on "bad" days. She is fast losing the ability to stand up making transfers a nightmare. Having been a caregiver for 12 yrs I worry about putting her in a facility. I have worked in those places and know what goes on. My own physical inability to go and visit her regularly would impair my advocacy and likely lead to a swift demise. I am struggling here to keep her home. I know eventually I will have to give in and thanks to those who have written here and made me feel a tad less guilty about it. I just pray I will recover some physically so I can care for her better. Though I have to admit it would be very nice to sleep in one day without feeling guilty about mom person not getting her care soon enough. Let's hope we all die quickly and painlessly. Thanks for listening
I am the oldest child and I have been taking care of my 83yr old mother for over two years in my home. She came to live with us when she could no longer drive, cook, take care of daily things and not remembering her meds. So we moved her up here to live with us in north georgia. She has now progressed to the stage where she has tremors, walking is difficult, memory is gone, can't dress or bath herself I thought several mmonths she could go into an assisted living and we were on a waiting list but now she is getting owrse and the doctors are saying that a skilled nursing facility is best. I have most everything in order but would like to know if anyone if familar with the medcaid law in georgia. My mom has a condo in florida and she and my dad (who died in 2003) had the business and the condo put into a Living Trust as to protect these assets. The business was given to my brother and now the condo is still in the trust for me and my sisiter. I would like to know if anyone knows if this Living Trust would still be protected in the state of Georgia? Please reply soon.
I married a man 26 yrs. older than me. He is now 86 and has AZ. It is so very hard for me not to feel guilty. Some things he still knows and he makes me feel guilty for being younger. He cannot walk or stand. Can't dress or bathe himself. I have a sitter 5 hrs a day 5 days a wk. It is the only time I have to run the business, shop for necessities, go to bank or postoffice, etc. I do all housekeeping. Cracked two ribs picking him up when he fell. I know I need to take him to the nursing home but feel sooooo guilty about it. He really plays on this, too. What to do? What to do? I am at my whits end but love him so much and know that if he goes I will miss him and feel so alone. This is a terrible disease. I hate it for him and for me.
I try to go to support meetings but it is hard to find time to go.....but I know I need it......it helps me help him.
My was diagnosed in 2007 with Alzheimer's Disease.She is 84 & has always been independent & has always taken care of herself, my dad (before he died), her kids. grandkids, etc. Now, without the help of my siblings, I am caring for mom by myself. She is moving from the mild to moderate stage. She lives alone; gets up mornings & makes her bed, makes her instant coffee; fixes herself cereal, works word search puzzles' goes to church with friends, etc. However, she is becoming severely paranoid. She has always been paranoid, but the disease has accentuated it. She imagines a stereo & cedar chest are missing from her driveway. No matter how many times we tell her there never were such things in the driveway, she continues to call & say the thieves took them & she calls the police. The police now speak to me on a first name basis. Accept for the paranoia, mom does well in her home. BUT, she is killing me & the neighbors with her constant phone calls about the things stolen. I have had to take time off from my job just to be available for her. I have meals delivered to her house; I buy her groceries; I buy her clothing; I pick up her meds (her neighbor gives her medicine); I take her to her doctor appointments; I have tried to get her into clinical trials. I do everything for her even though she is capable of living at home. Trying to get funding to get her into an adult day care center. I don't have the money for assisted living or nursing homes. There i
Trying to live up to the traditional Italian definition of "bella famiglia" hasn't been easy for my family's situation. My father-in-law of 83 was kept at home for 2 and a half years and watched over by his aging wife, children and the "nuora' (me). Incontinence, inability to eat and being lifted by a type of manual crane has finally taken its toll on all of us. Lack of sleep, eating improperly while trying to maintain jobs has just about destroyed this nice Italian family...We've all been sick and even lost weight during this last year while Nonno Mario keeps plugging on...Today was his fourth week in a "casa serena"(nursing home) and for him everything is the same...We should be relieved and looking forward to getting back to a normal routine but it's difficult when the neighbors 'tsk-tsk' over the fact that we weren't up to the task of caring for a loved one in the house(up to 75% of Italian families do this). For myself, I can't wait to visit him tomorrow...just to see if there is a glint of recognition in his eyes and maybe if I'm lucky I'll capture one of his toothless smiles.I'm on a major guilt trip in spite of all the research we've done on his illness..It's a disease that I think I'll never really come to terms with.For this reason, I'll be volunteering time to help out in the local daycare for the 'anziani' now that I've been graciously 'let go' from my teaching job. It's time for me to learn more even at the ripe old age of 52.
My 85 year old father is caring for my 89 year old stepmother at home. Her dementia or Alzheimer's has greatly progressed this year. This summer he finally consented to have a caregiver two afternoons a week. His health is suffering, since he insists on doing everything himself--including all the yard work! She really needs more care, because she has fallen several times, and will leave or try to get out of the house whenever she sees a chance. My father is convinced she wouldn't survive in a care facility. As an only child, I'm caught in a bad situation. She is not my mother and has no children, only nieces and nephews. One of her nieces and I have teamed up and have become close friends, too. I'm very concerned about my father's physical health and he is beginning to make decisions that aren't well thought out. He's very strong minded and my input doesn't have too much influence. Not only am I his child, but I am a woman. Unfortunately, I see nothing changing until something disasterous happens. I have so much empathy for other families in this position. This disease sucks the life out of family members too.
In July I put my husband of 24 years in a memory unit, then I went off on a much needed vacation. When I returned I thought I would be bringing him back home, but his doctor and the unit felt he needed more care than I could give him. (he's diabetic as well as 3rd state AZ) I have watched him deterioate fro the past ten years. I know my health has suffered as well, but the guilt and the questioning is so overwhelming sometimes. Other times I feel amazingly free, alone but not really lonely. Able to eat or sleep when I want is an amazing gift. I don't visit him much yet, it only upsets him and when he sees me he kicks and screams that he wants to come home. I hope I'm doing the right thing.
My husband and I have moved his mother in a year and a half ago. We are now researching nursing homes close to our house so one of us can stop by on a daily basis.(We work opposite shifts). Just changed our todddlers crappy diaper and hers. Shes 82 he is almost 3. Haven't been able to leave overnight since she moved in. There is guilt and reality. She needs more than we can give her. We serve her every meal in her bedroom because she won't come and dine with family. She is very frail and needs help with everything from dressing to showering. A place for mom is a good non profit organization if anybody needs help to place a loved one. There are insurance issues and asset issues that need to be handled if you are not able to help with the monthly expense of a home.Research them and show up unexpected before you pick one out. We still have her at our house until we are 110% comfortable with our decision. Good luck to all.
I see the care home from both aspects as a family member and a professional caregiver. I give advice to all - do not become the sunday visitor. Stop in on different days and hours so that you get to see what is really going on with mom/dad. You are still their advocate- don't be afraid to ask questions and demand changes. Even the best places are not perfect.
This is nicely said, and one of the best articles i've read as a nurse and caretaker of a parent who has Alzheimer's Disease, whom I'm battling siblings on reasons why we need to move our loved one. Not because we don't love them any less, we love them dearly they just need more care than can be provided at home. Thank You again for this article.
a year ago went through everything in your article
you are right on...
your notes would have relieved so much anxiety for me, yet, we did get to the same place
thank you
oh, one addition, be prepared to cry a lot until the transition is made.
Besides having dementia, my mom has diabetes. After our dad died, my brother lived with her to test her blood sugar levels and make sure she got her insulin and meals. So he could continue to work, we hired home helpers to come in during the day. The trouble was, mom would lock them out of the house or try to hit them. She also started fighting my brother about taking her insulin.
In December she came down with the flu and could not keep any food down and had to be hospitalized. As she recovered though, her doctor suggested she be placed in a skilled care facility. She hated it and us for taking her there, but we now realize that she was beyond our control.
Since December she has been in three different nursing homes. The first got rid of their Alzheimer's unit, and the second sent her to a mental hospital to evaluate her meds because our mom, who was always a sweet and gentle person, tried to strangle a fellow patient. She is now in a very "homey" place with staff that really deals well with their dementia patients.
It breaks my heart to see her declining in this place, but I know in my heart that it is the best care for her...and her kids.
My parents retired overseas almost thirty years ago, to a place that has no known services for the care of dementia patients. We don't even have a diagnosis. It has been nearly impossible for us give them the care they now desperately need. Both are in their 80s, and the laws and standards are so well, backward, our struggle is to get them home to the US and into a facility as soon as we can (we've been trying for eight months now), and dealing with things like indifference, lost passports, lack of technology, and doctors who don't see the urgency of the situation. We earnestly hope that when we finally get them to the airport, they'll be physically able to travel. And as for walkabout, our worry is driveabout. There is no recollection of the revoked license, strenuous insistence on being just fine, and a whole lot of hostility aimed at the very ones who are losing sleep over all of it -- us.
What do you do when the main caregiver sees their sole identity and purpose as the spouse of that same Alzhiemers sufferer? There is full-time help. They both need it.
He should have been in an appropriate facility 2 years ago but she just can't give him up. This is the second time he has gone "walkabout". The first time was last year and he came back by himself 2 hours later.
This last one he went missing for 12 hours, it was 90 degrees most of the day and the diligent police found him and brought him home. These people are not my parents but tend to rely on me heavily as a part of their support system. How do I shake her into making the decision and not being persuaded otherwise? How long can a person selfishly rely on the good will of many others? When does the system step in and take over? In their case it has been said that if he moves to a facility it is a death sentence for them both. Is it?
My father has Lewy Bodies dimentia and was diagnosed about 7 years ago. He is now on the finall leg of his journey in this life and we are staying close to support him for as long as possible. My mother made a valiant attempt to keep him at home for as long as possible and finally during a regular visit to his doctor, he was admitted to the hospital for respite care, to help my mother care for herself, and he has not and will not come out again. The tradgedy of this is the conversation about how to care for him in the future had already turned to a care home. Regretably his condition deteriorated so quickly that the decision was removed from my mother and the family without any choice in the matter. It is not easy seeing him in a facility now, but his level of care and security is far better now that it would be had he stayed at home. Have an open discussion with your partner or parent before it is too late about what inevitably will happen and let them know that even if they can't stay home anymore, you will continue to be their care-taker. Do this while they are still able to understand the situation and get their approval to do what is best for them and yourself. This will go a very long way in eliminating the feelings of guilt and sense of abandoning aloved one. There is no happy ending to this saga, but it can be a comfortable and safe experience for everyone.
My cousin, who lives alone had gone through most of her life savings, buying new cars, jewellery from a mall kiosk etc. with huge visa bills before her POA was put into effect. With much work a mortgage has been obtained to keep her in her house and automatic bill paying and a weekly allowance to her for extras. We have a PSW 3 times weekly for dinner help and medicine compliance, two day programs at the Senior Centre with van drives to and fro. She constantly tells her friends she has no money, no food, her family have taken everything away and insists there is nothing wrong with her. She is very convincing and they believe her. Her licence was taken away by the MOT but she still insists she is getting another car. Has bought 2 bicycles promising to pay folks back, which she cannot ride because of poor balance, due inpart to 2 hip replacements.She has had a 2nd opinion. We are told by CCAC that we must wait for a disaster to happen before she is put in a nursing home which we feel she is not ready for now. We feel a retirement home (which she refuses to consider) would be ideal but she could walk out. She will not accept any more home help and is constantly threatening to fire the PSW help we have now. Today we discovered a "friend" had advised the government to send her old age cheques to her house rather than the bank so she would have some money. How do we protect her and keep her safe? Our goal is to have her enjoy and make the most of the days she has le
After reading your article, I cant seem to make it fit! My husband was told he was not care facility ready because of his constant care due to not wanting to stay in his bed or chair and his sleeplessness. I just dont see where his situation is so different than millions of others with the disease but I was told I would have to have a sitter in the nursing home because they dont have usfficent staff. Currently I am paying sitters around the clock but have no idea what I will do if the money plays out before he does!
My husband of 45 years-almost 2/3 of my life has been with him-started his downhill trip with dementia in March of 2008. Earlier he became a type 2 diabetic, then after a colonoscopy in 2005, lost the ability to urinate the usual way & eventually had a suprpubic tube inserted + bags for day & evening. In 2007, became legally blind from macular degeneration & had to give up his license. In 2008, he had a minor stroke, & dementia descende on him. On April 20 this year, I was unable to wake him for supper, & called 911. After two hospital stays & two rehab stays, he is insecond rehab stay & getting physical & occupational therapy, etc. It is heartwrenching to see the change in him. I run out for all errands & try to get to see him every day. The staff is taking good care of him, but I am torn up every time I see him. I come home, and once inside with the door closed, & break down , every day. I have been told not to hold it back, but to let it all out. The apartment is so empty without him & every time I look at something he has made or his paintings, I go to pieces all over again. I have GI problems over this every day. Imaganing life without him is an awful thought. I have lost parents, both brothers, and the grandmother I loved & spent most of first 11 years of my life. This one will be the worst loss. I feel devastated. Please-pray for me.
I don't know what it is like in the US, but this time of life for elders must be terrifying. Loss of home, maybe auto, furniture, ability to make many decisions. We never thought so many would live so long with many attendant health problems. This is a lesson for many of us younger caregivers. We need to mind our own health, exercise & eat well, keep our minds alert. In Canada a good many seniors have pensions that cover their expenses in Assisted Living facilities and Personal Care Homes. Those who don't have adequate pensions can qualify for government subsidies. Health care and drugs are also covered by government. I am amazed at the care provided. So - caregivers - take care of yourselves. We are next up at bat!
My husband of 61+ years has been in a care center for less than one month. It has been a roller coaster experience for me. The sundowning became so severe that he was uncontrollable in the Alzheimer unit. He was sent out of town as a person seriously mentally impaired, to be treated and his meds evaluated as to how he reacts to them. As it turned out, he had a mild pneumonia, and early signs of congestive heart failure so that is what treatment was done at the hospital out of town and then he was sent back to the original care center. There was no med evaluation done. He is no longer in the Alzheimer unit. Hospice has accepted him and will tend to him at the care center. I am still wondering if some of the meds used to calm him were not the best choice for him. I am an emotional basket case to say the least, with all the guilt feelings, sadness, and wondering if I should have kept him at home. I love him dearly, even though he is not the same now. I feel he is suffering the loss of his home and the farm life. There were times when he was still at home that he did not know who I was and that was painful for me. It is a vicious disease. I hope there is a cure for the future generations.
My Dad was diagnosed several years ago (maybe 3-4?) with Alzheimers. He will be 87 this summer, and has another number of health going as well (Heart disease, now diabetes, etc.). His little brother has been in a care facility for 4-5 years with Alzheimers as well, and while it's easy to speak from the outside, he was probably kept at home a little longer than he should have been. While we have been fortunate that my Dad's wife is still willing and so far able to care for him living at home, we all agree that those days are very numbered based upon his steep decline in these past 6 months of so. Dad does go to an adult senior facility specializing in this disease about 3 days a week, not only for his own stimulation, but to give his wife a well-deserved breather as well. After spending the last 3 days full time with him in the hospital for heart related issues, it makes me SOOOO appreciative and empathetic with his wife who deals with this disease day in and day out, and has a heart of gold. Take care of the Caregiver as well as the patient. The Caregiver may rarely speak up and recognize the stress they are putting themselves under, regardless of the best of intentions. Even though it may be a struggle initially, moving towards the best interest of the patient I believe at this point is the right decision. Moving Dad to a FT facility will be hard when the time comes soon, but it's not going to be an option for anyone (him included) to keep him home for long now.
Today is the first day of my journey. I was just asked by my Dad to please look into becoming my Mom's caregiver. He has cancer and he wants to be prepared. Where do I start ? They have insurance that pays a caregiver. I will be giving up work to do this.
Does anyone know where you can download a sample Letter of Medical Necessity that relates to the necessity for placing your loved one in a facility?
If you have one and wish to email it to me, it would be greatly appreciated!!!
Thank you!!!
Yes, the decision to place a loved one in an institution is difficult - but not placing them may be even worse.
My 93 year old father even refused having caregiver at home. He insisted on taking care of my mother by himself.
Well - both of them fell while walking and my mother was hospitalized for a gash in her head and a crack in her knee.
After retuning home, my father again refused any help. My father had difficulty physically moving my mother so she ended up sitting on a chair and sleeping.
This caused her to develop a blood clot in her leg. Further hospitalization caused my mother to catch, in the hospital, C-diff Bacteria in the intestinal tract and later she caught in the hospital VRE - a dangerous bacteria in her blood.
Needless to say my mother has totally gone down hill in a short time and has stopped eating and drinking.
It looks like we are headed to hospice care.
My mother was still doing pretty well until this incident. This could have been prevented had my father gotten 24 hour care or placed my mother in a safe dementia unit.
Please - leave the guilt and do what is best for your loved one. If you are a caregiver of someone with Alzheimer's/Dementia who has reached the stage where they are incontinent and having physical challenges - be kind to them and get the needed help/facility!
Reading the reasons for helping an aging parent into a nursing home make me realize that I wish I could care for myself the way a good child cares for his parent. It becomes ever more difficult.
first time here also. My dad who just turned 65 appears to be in the mild to moderate stage. This is SO tough because he has been out of our lives for over 30 years (divorce, alcoholism) and since his medical needs have escalated he is calling me. All of the time. I think he forgets that he calls and leaves me tons of messages. Two doctors are differ in their diagnosis for him. One thinks he is depressed and the other alzheimers. I am married and we have 3 children. Completely at a loss, and overwhelmed. I want to show compassion, forgiveness, and love to my dad. I am taking him to the doctor next week. The one doc told me that depression can manifest in alzheimer like sypmtoms. Anyone else have this experience?
I'm not sure where to start, first time here, my brother is 58 and we are told he is in stage 2?? we havn't seen any papers. His wife broke down and is in a ward so the family brought him back from Tx and drop him at our home. There is lot more to write but my sisters wants to be caregiver and I will help. Where do I start.
Are their stages? Can he be let alone? Will the doctors tell us more?
The decision of move my mom was ultimately decided for me because of a quick decline in her abilities. She remained in a special dementia unit for nearly 4 months until she passed away a few months ago. I still have doubts and guilt about it but I do appreciate the fact that the facility we chose took good care of Mom.
My father (95 or 96) 'should' have gone into care long ago. My mother (89yo) and sister have been struggling to cope with sister holding down a stressful FT+ job as well. A year ago my mother 'died' 3x and was brought back notwithstanding DNR instructions because the staff realised that she was struggling to live to care for Dad. She decided to have a pacemaker put in and has recently had a few TIAs. A recent fall resulted in broken collarbone, hospitalisation and now rehab care...but she may go home soon. Meanwhile I sit in Australia worrying about all 3 of them . . . My sister is often close to breaking point and my brother gets called to come and see either or both of them at each new emergency...not to mention his efforts to attend birthday and holiday occasions. My last trip back to USA was in 2006 but I have now retired and my pension will not allow more trips back and forth. When I retired my husband and I moved into a retirement community....we are relatively healthy and happy and feel that we will at least have spared our children what we are going through with my parents and their refusal to give up living in their own homes with help so difficult to find.
After going through the struggle of keeping Mom at home with various caregiving for over 10 years, I have placed her in a Dementia Unit. I found one that had a 24/7 RN and a high ratio of caregiver to patient. Even with that I find I have to be a constant advocate for her clothes, health, hearing aids, glasses, food, and peace of mind. UGH! I am in counseling to deal with these years of giving back to a wonderful mom who is no longer able to care for herself. She is 98 and probably as healthy as I am!
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Let's wait for the day when they screw up all those chipsets integrated directly into the CPU.
Phoronix: Here's Another Intel Poulsbo Linux Driver...
Intel's Poulsbo Linux support is a bloody mess. It has been for nearly two years now and the situation has really not improved at all. While Intel IGPs are generally well supported under Linux with an open-source driver stack (besides being very slow), the Poulsbo hardware on Linux is notorious and does not have a fully open-source driver because the GMA 500 chipset is designed around the PowerVR SGX 535 graphics core from Imagination Technologies rather than being brewed in-house. The situation is really bad...
Let's wait for the day when they screw up all those chipsets integrated directly into the CPU.
And I'm still waiting for hardware accelerated video playback for 4500MHD... Which was promised, by the way.
I'm still waiting for a driver which does not hang the X server every time... video acceleration is just the latest in the list
It's a shame, but I have a little Fujitsu notebook with a 9xx (forget which) Intel GPU. A few years ago, it was the only machine I had with good 3D acceleration. Now, it barely does 2D. It's not my main machine so I don't have time to mess around with it, but it's disappointing to see the step back Intel has taken with their drivers in relation to the rest of the graphics stack.