text:
wednesDAY, aUgust 7, 2013
THE celebrity news site T-M-Z YESTERDAY postED 2 LEtters written by Jerry Sandusky TO HIS PEN PALS. he sayS HE is having a "challenging" time in prisON…AND FOR NOW HIS MAIN PURPOSE IS TO ENDURE, TO LEARN FROM, AND TO GROW FROM THIS EXPERIENCE. HE SPENDS HIS TIME EXERCISING, READING, MEDITATING, AND WRITING. ONE LETTER SAYS HE WOULD FEEL BETTER IF HE COULD REVEAL ALL THE INFORMATION AND UNFAIRNESS. SANDUSKY IS APPEALING HIS 30 TO 60 YEAR PRISON SENTENCE. HIS LAWYER COULD NOT CONFIRM WHETHER THE LETTERS WERE ACTUALLY WRITTEN BY THE FORMER COACH.
Johnstown Police are LOOKing FOR a homicide SUSPECT. SHORTLY BEFORE 5AM TUESDAY, 21 YEAR OLD DEMETRIUS GIBSON OF TIRE HILL ALLEGEDLY STABBED HIS LIVE-IN GIRLFRIEND AT THE CAR WASH ACROSS FROM THE DOLLAR GENERAL STORE in THE Moxham neighborhood. 21 YEAR OLD Elizabeth Miller was stabbed ONCE in the SIDE WITH A SURVIVAL KNIFE WHICH HIT A MAIN ARTERY TO HER HEART. SHE DIED LATER AT Memorial Medical CENTER. The victim's brother witnessed the attack AND TOLD Police IT STARTED WITH a domestic situation. GIBSON FLED THE SCENE AND HIS VEHICLE WAS LATER FOUND ABANDONED.
young man killed
A DEADLY WRECK TUESDAY AFTERNOON IN BEDFORD COUNTY. POLICE SAY 21 year old LUKE WEICHT OF CLEARville crashed his car along Route 96 in Londonderry Township. THE VEHICLE hit a guard rail THEN flipped intO a bridge and landed in the creek below.
car versus post office
the altoona mirror says 25 year old patrick leeper junior of tipton has been ordered to pay 45-thousand dollars for the damage he caused when he crashed his car into the tipton post office in march. leeper must also spend 6 to 23-and-a-half months in the county prison. police say the incident began after an argument with his girlfriend…and leeper told cops he was driving to the tipton reservoir to kill himself. he had recently been released from a state prison after serving time for robbery.
altoona drug raid
the blair county drug task force raided the home of leslie brickhouse on kettle street in altoona monday and seized 165 bags of heroin with a street value of 5-thousand dollars. they also found 2 ounces of cocaine worth 5-grand…a half pound of marijuana valued at 1-thousand dollars…and 863-dollars in cash. brickhouse is in the blair county prison.
lower gas prices
Triple A FUEL GAUGE SAYS Western Pa gas prices fell one cent to $3.65 this week. IN THE ALTOONA AREA, THE PRICE FELL FROM $3.69 TO $3.65. Today's national average for regular unleaded is $3.61, 2 cents less than a week ago and a penny less than a year ago.
Tonight's Powerball Jackpot has soared to more than 425 million dollars. it's THE 3rd-largest ever and the 4th-largest in the United States. the odds of matching all 6 numbers are 175-point-2 million to 1.


text:
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With Michael Bourn, the Cleveland Indians take on a new identity
Blog Entry:
February 12, 2013 10:39 AM | Author: KEVIN KLEPS
How did this happen?
How did the Cleveland Indians — who had a payroll barely above $49 million in 2011 — wind up signing two of the top free agents on the market to four-year contracts worth a total of at least $104 million?
Outfielder Michael Bourn, an All-Star in two of the last three seasons,
agreed to a four-year, $48 million contract
with the Tribe on Monday night.
If the contract options on Bourn and Nick Swisher vest for 2017, the Indians will have shelled out a combined $130 million for five years on a pair of free-agent outfielders.
So much for the belief that no worthwhile free agents want to play in Cleveland.
There are many reasons the Indians were able to remake their lineup this offseason — one being a lack of big-league-ready prospects forced their hands — but we'll focus on four of the biggest.
1. Television money:
The Tribe's sale of SportsTime Ohio to Fox Sports in December was worth a reported $230 million. The deal also will net the Indians an estimated $400 million in rights fees over the next 10 years.
it's not Dodgers money
, but it's certainly enough for the Dolans to push the Indians' payroll above $80 million for the first time since 2009.
2. Thanks, CBA:
Baseball's collective bargaining agreement now stipulates that a player who receives a qualifying offer from his former team will cost the team that signs him a first-round draft pick — as long as it is outside the top 10. This was huge for the Indians, whose No. 5 overall selection in 2013 was protected when they signed Swisher and Bourn.
The Swisher signing cost the Tribe their second-round selection, and Bourn's contract, once finalized, will only result in the Indians losing a pick between the second and third rounds.
The Mets, another team interested in Bourn, have the 11th overall pick in June, and
thus were hesitant
to spend that, plus at least $48 million, on Bourn.
The Indians, even after two marquee free-agent signings, still have their first- and third-round picks this year.
3. So long, Pronk:
As I wrote 12 days ago
, the Indians ridded themselves of their four largest salaries from 2012. Travis Hafner (who made $13 million last season), Grady Sizemore ($5 million), Derek Lowe ($5 million from the Indians, and $10 million from the Braves) and Shin-Soo Choo ($4.9 million) had their contracts run out or, in the case of Choo, were traded. That's $27.9 million off the books — $9.9 million more than the 2013 salaries of Swisher ($11 million) and Bourn ($7 million).
4. The Francona effect:
Terry Francona's hiring as manager can't be underestimated.
With two World Series championships and five seasons with 95 wins or more in eight years with the Red Sox, Francona brings immediate credibility to the Indians' clubhouse.
You also have to wonder if his surprise hiring last October was in part because he was told the Indians were going to spend big this offseason. But even Francona might not have imagined this.
Maybe the Indians will get really crazy and spend more of their TV money on a starting pitcher.
Kyle Lohse, anyone?
This and that
Jim Davison, the curator of The Baseball Heritage Museum, said insurance adjusters are still taking inventory of the
damage done by a busted pipe
at the Colonial Arcade location. Davison hopes everything will be counted by the end of the week, and he can begin boxing up the memorabilia on the walls of the former home to various treasures from Major League Baseball and the Negro Leagues, along with broadcasting artifacts. The museum's future home hasn't been determined.
The Cavaliers will host their 14th annual career fair prior to their game against the Hornets on Feb. 20. Attendees can meet with professionals in such fields as public relations, journalism, broadcasting, advertising, marketing, sales, business development, finance and sports medicine.
Admission is $20. Included in the price is an upper-level ticket to the Cavs-Hornets contest. For more information, email John Ruyf at firstname.lastname@example.com or
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It is really a sad realisation when people are told they are actually losing testosterone. This is a vital hormone produced mainly by the testes and its function is to provide a secondary characteristics in males. It is essential that it gets to be produced in constant quantities at all times. However, as a man ages, the production gradually degrades and at times detrimentally when the dropping rates are too high.
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In a few words, Maxx Test 300 formula is absolutely something worth that trial.


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Billy Joel Surprises Queens High School Students
Monday, June 3, 2013
Billy Joel surprised about 400 students on Thursday (May 30th) when he joined Tony Bennett at the Frank Sinatra School of the Arts in Queens, New York. The Associated Press reported that Bennett opened the school in 2001 through his Exploring the Arts program. Billy performed two songs -- at two different pianos on stage -- "New York State Of Mind" and "She's Got A Way." he also schmoozed and joked with students answering their questions, including: "What do you think is one of your biggest mistakes?" To which the "Piano Man" answered: "My biggest mistake was signing a lot of contracts that I didn't know what they were about. I signed away a lot of my rights -- record royalties, publishing rights, copyrights -- and it took me years to get that stuff back."
He credited an early music teacher for encouraging him on as a teen: "I had a good chorus teacher, and he encouraged me to become a musician. That's my greatest memory of school -- an adult said, 'You should consider becoming a professional musician.' I'd never heard (that) before in my life, and that kind of changed my life."
Billy Joel credits coming into his own in the early-'70s for his early success: "It just so happened that this coincided with the era of the singer-songwriter. James Taylor had come out with an album -- I think it was called Sweet Baby James. The 'singer-songwriter' genre became a new thing. Carole King, who had been around for years -- years and years -- suddenly had a solo album. Joni Mitchell. . . a guy named Elton John. All these solo artists -- Neil Young -- were becoming known as rock n' roll stars just because they had written songs. It wasn't even so much a matter of whether they were great singers or not: They were great writers."
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Keller has spent most of his career in politics. As a communications specialist, he has worked as the communications director for Congresswoman Ginny Brown-Waite (FL) and Congressman Jack F. Quinn (NY). He has also served as the Deputy Press Secretary for Lieutenant Governor Corinne Woods bid for Governor in Illinois.
Keller's focus for most of the past eight years has been election campaigns including Brown-Waite for Congress (FL), Bush-Cheney for President, Arlene Wohlgemuth for Congress (TX), Jim Ryan for Governor (IL), and Mark Augusti for Congress (IL). He also works on membership development for the Republican Communications Association.
Keller says about his MBA degree, "I feel that the management courses that I took [at Mason] really prepared me for an expanded role not just as a leader in my office, but also for a management position in the future. I have already utilized many of the tools learned in the classroom and shared them with the Congresswoman and my Chief of Staff."


text:
Over the course of his 30-year career, Art Wolfe has worked on every continent and in hundreds of locations. His stunning images interpret and record the world's fast-disappearing wildlife, landscapes, and native cultures, and act as a lasting inspiration to those who seek to preserve the very subjects recorded in Art's images. His photographs are recognized throughout the world for their mastery of color, composition and perspective.
Bolivia: The Altiplano
Art journeys to one of the earth's most extreme environments-the high, rugged and remote Altiplano. More lunar than earthly in appearance, Bolivia's high plain is a land lost in time. The Altiplano's dazzling dreamscapes include the world's largest salt flat, an island of golden cactus, scarlet-tinted lakes, twin volcanoes and surreal skies.
Alaska: Glacier Bay
The beautiful, protected waters in southeast Alaska are filled with islands and bays rich with wildlife. The concentration of diversity in this secluded environment is remarkable. Art goes by boat on a voyage of discovery, encountering dramatic calving glaciers and Sitka forests, breaching orcas and migrating humpbacks, eagles and barnacle-eating bears.
Patagonia: Torres Del Paine
Torres del Paine Park in the far southern Andes of Patagonia is remote and inaccessible. For adventurers it's the "edge" destination. Art's images tell a story of nature at its wildest - of a place where jagged peaks scrape the sky, icebergs catch the light, guanacos watch for pumas and Andean condors rule the skies.
Alaska: Katmai Coast
The remote Katmai Coast is the largest intact stretch of uninhabited coastline left in North America. Art takes advantage of the long days of Alaska's short summer in Katmai National Park, spending time with the largest population of grizzly bears in the world. Joined by bear biologists, he gets up close and personal with Ursus arctos to provide a fresh look at the behavior of these powerful predators in the wild.
Africa: Madagascar
Eighty million years ago, Madagascar split off from Africa. Separated from the mainland, the sturdy and lucky creatures that reached Madagascar's shores intact took off on a wild and bizarre evolutionary journey. Art documents Madagascar's most famous inhabitants: it's a who's who of the weird and wonderful, including dancing sifakas, rainbow-colored chameleons, a forest of upside-down trees and a spiny desert.
Alaska: Arctic National Wildlife Refuge
America's Serengeti? Wilderness or wasteland? Art rafts down the icy Kongakut River to document America's last pure and untamed wilderness. He chronicles the desolate, yet abundant beauty of the tundra and the rugged landscapes of the Brooks Range. He turns his lens on the delicate birds and animals for which the Refuge is a vital habitat and intersects the great Porcupine caribou herd on its annual migration to the coastal plain.
Peru: Manu
It's a place where clouds conceal rare birds, animals blend into the forest, predators hide in the shadows and native peoples are disappearing. Manu, in southern Peru, belongs to the largest area of protected rain forest in the Amazon. Art goes downriver and encounters spectacular birds, animals and peoples of the Amazon, who together are struggling to survive.
Kenya: Masai Mara and El Karama
East Africa is a vast stage on which the circular, never-ending journey known as the Great Migration has played out for millions of years. After going eye to eye with thousands of wildebeest and zebra, Art enlists an old friend and bush pilot to help him capture aerial patterns of migrating herds and flocks of flamingos. On the ground, he pursues giraffe on horseback and tracks rhino on foot.
Patagonia: Mt. Fitz Roy
Rugged Patagonia offers Himalayan-quality drama in a small package. Just above El Chalten, South America's unofficial trekking capital, rises the jagged silhouette of Mt. Fitz Roy - revered and iconic in the world of mountaineering and photographed thousands of times. Art sets off in search of a different and unique view of the peak. En route, he treks through an ancient forest, fords an icy river, goes under a glacier and traverses one of the largest ice caps in the world.
The Southwest: Zion and Canyon De Chelly
The American Southwest is a geological time machine. Its bizarre and beautiful rock formations are the result of eons of erosion. In Utah's Zion National Park, Art explores surreal slot canyons carved from wind and water and encounters the strange rock spires-hoodoos-that punctuate the landscape like giant exclamation points. In Arizona's Canyon de Chelly, he goes by horseback with a Navajo guide to discover petroglyphs hidden in tribal lands. With its brilliant light, red desert rock, cobalt blue skies, golden cotton woods and white-barked Aspens, the American Southwest is a photographer's playground.
India: Allahabad and Varanasi
Allahabad and Varanasi are India's holiest river towns. Allahabad hosts the largest religious gathering on the planet at the confluence of its sacred rivers. Art joins nearly 20 million pilgrims for a dip in the Ganges and captures images of Hindu holy men, ascetics, who have renounced all worldly pursuits. Downstream, in ancient Varanasi, the sacred and the ordinary meet in a swirl of color, fire and ritual. Hindus strive to visit this spiritual epicenter at least once in their lives to bathe in the Ganges and cleanse their karma.
The Southern Ocean: South Georgia Island
Lying between wind-ravaged Cape Horn and Antarctica, South Georgia Island is an icy oasis with an abundance of wildlife. Stunningly beautiful and rugged, this island sanctuary protects thousands of sea birds and marine mammals. Art returns to his favorite place on earth to explore its emerald bays and fjords and visit colonies of king penguins, wandering albatross and elephant seals.
Ethiopia: The Omo Valley
Ethiopia is like no other place in Africa. Some of the isolated animist tribes who have lived there for centuries are still unaware that they reside in a country called Ethiopia. In this episode, Art ventures into the Omo Valley, Ethiopia's nearly inaccessible and richest tribal zone. After enduring muddy, impassable roads and swollen rivers, he makes his way to the Hamer, Karo and remote Surma tribes. He documents the tribes' unique body painting, elaborate adornments and timeless ceremonies.
Japan: Hokkaido and Honshu
The image many of us have of Japan is congested and kinetic. But Japan has a wild side. In winter, beyond its crowded cities, the country delivers quiet, unexpected natural beauty. In the second season opener, Art Wolfe ventures north to the remote region of Hokkaido to view iconic red-crested cranes; south to the mountains to take a dip in Nagano's hot springs with mischievous macaque snow monkeys; and journeys on to the sacred temples of Mt. Fuji and Koyosan on a photographic pilgrimage.
Australia: Arnhemland and the Kimberley
Australia's Northern Territory is an immense, untamed wilderness as brutal as it is beautiful. For the Aboriginal people, it's the place of the "Dreamtime," where land and story meet. In episode two, Art Wolfe captures images of rock art intricately painted over thousands of years ago; discovers canyons carved by wind and water; and witnesses an ancient aboriginal dance as he chronicles the connection between the region's first people and the natural world.
Mali: Sahel to the Sahara
It is a fabled land of sand, salt and nomads. But Mali is more than the Sahara; it is a place where the Niger River flows past some of Africa's most unique tribal and architectural wonders. In episode three, Art Wolfe follows the river road to the camouflaged villages of the cliff-dwelling Dogon people; floats downriver to Djenne's fantastic mud mosque; heads into the desert with nomadic Tuaregs; and finally travels on to Timbuktu where he meets up with a camel caravan.
Antarctica and the Falkland Islands
It is spring on the Antarctic Peninsula and the frozen wilderness is a veritable nursery for penguins, shore birds and seal pups. In episode four Art Wolfe crosses the infamous Drake Passage the treacherous body of water south of Cape Horn to explore the Falkland Islands and the Antarctic coast in search of wildlife and landscapes inherent to this pristine and unforgiving land.
Brazil: The Pantanal
Located in the heart of South America, the Pantanal is the world's largest wetland and home to one of the densest concentrations of wildlife on the planet. It's a unique place where human activity and wildlife coexist. Here Brazilian cowboys ride herd alongside toothy caimans, giant otters, capybaras, macaws and toucans. In episode five, Art Wolfe arrives just as the seasonal floods have receded and discovers both an ecological paradise and a vibrant cowboy culture.
West Africa: Togo and Benin
West Africa is the birthplace of Voodoo; in Togo and Benin ancestors commingle with the living. Whether its vulture heads for sale at a fetish market or sacred bloodstained altars, Voodoo is always front and center. In episode six, Art Wolfe visits villages known for their vibrant inhabitants and intense rituals and discovers frenzied trances, powerful masked dances and an extraordinary fire-eating ceremony - all part of everyday life.
New Zealand
New Zealand's extreme beauty is central to its identity. Here indigenous Maori people see themselves as guardians of the land. In episode seven, Art Wolfe captures portraits of contemporary Maori artists who wear their stories on their faces in the form of sacred tattoos, and convey their sense of stewardship through their art. Then he heads off to the wild South Island to explore the natural history of this pristine and beautifully preserved island nation.
Wild Asia: Nepal and India
Beyond India and Nepal's crowded cities lie precious remnants of wild Asia where tigers, rhino and bear still roam. In episode eight, Art Wolfe travels by elephant deep into Kipling country in search of the last of the planet's Bengal tigers. Here, through the lens of his camera, he captures images of mahouts handlers bound to the elephants they've cared for from childhood as they bathe and tend to their animals. In Nepal, Art encounters exotic wildlife including rare Asian rhinos, elusive sloth bears and primeval Gharial crocodiles.
Mexico: Baja
Both an ocean oasis and isolated desert, the northern part of the narrow Baja peninsula is home to a surprising variety of plant and animal life. In episode nine, after a voyage on the Sea of Cortez in search of migrating gray whales, Art Wolfe ventures inland through the unforgiving Catavina desert and discovers a photographer's playground of light and magical landscapes.
The Kingdom of Bhutan
Known as the Land of the Thunder Dragon, Bhutan has survived in isolation for more than a thousand years. As this enlightened Buddhist kingdom greets the 21st century, its greatest challenge is to preserve its soul. In episode ten, Art Wolfe finds a photographer's nirvana of mountainside monasteries, sacred festivals and chanting monks in an environmentally and spiritually progressive nation.
The Making of Travels to the Edge
Ever wondered what it would be like to travel the world with a renowned photographer? In episode eleven, take a behind-the-scenes peek and go along on one of Art Wolfe's adventures. Meet the small, intrepid Travels crew as they venture through the remote kingdom of Bhutan and Nepal's lowland wilderness. Follow along on their perilous drive over a high mountain pass; track unpredictable sloth bears; and keep pace with Art at a frenetic Buddhist festival. It is all in a day's work as the crew works to capture Art's quest for the perfect shots.
Mongolia: Mountain to Steppe
Known for its arid steppes, skilled nomadic horsemen and Genghis Khan, a visit to Mongolia feels like a trip back in time. At the annual Naadam Festival, contestants vie to be the victor in the centuries-old pursuits of wrestling, archery and horseracing. In episode twelve, Art Wolfe pursues prehistoric wild horses as they roam the steppe; rides in the mountains with a Kazakh tribesman who hunts with golden eagles; and catches up with nomadic reindeer herders at their summer camp near the Siberian border.
Iceland: Earth, Air, Fire and Water
A land of geysers, glaciers, volcanoes and rough-hewn coastlines: Nowhere else on Earth do the four elements collide in such dramatic fashion as in Iceland. Art captures dramatic expressions of the planet's geomorphology using composition, pattern and light to create a striking portrait of a volatile and dynamic landscape.


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- Lightweight tricot eliminates break-in time and features the same pro materials to give you a comfortable and breathable glove
- Does not absorb water to ensure that the glove does not gain weight
- Protection:
- Single density foams along with plastic inserts to ensure an advanced level of protection
- Palm:
- Durable, soft feel nash palm reinforced on the thumb and palm
- Liner:
- Reebok moisture wicking liner
- Fit:
- Traditional fit: Offers generous volume throughout the glove for increased mobility
- Mobile cuff roll open for better stick handling
- Split finger design
13", 14", and 15"
Comments: These are great gloves. They feel really nice on the ice. They feel very lightweight, but thick and durable. I haven't played a game with them, but just skating around with them, and practicing my shot off the ice, they feel very good. I don't feel as if my hands are smothered, but they aren't too loose either.
From: Larry, GA
Comments: Excellent product overall. Really solid protection, as I've blocked a couple shots and felt nothing. They are nice and light, but still feel solid. Good traditional 4-roll fit with great mobility. They don't dry as quickly as some gloves, but the materials are dense. I would highly recommend them, especially at the current price.
From: Andrew
Other Items to Consider
Reebok Hockey Gloves Senior
The Reebok 30K KFS Hockey Glove is the premier glove in the Reebok lineup. The 30K's vented EVA foam provides professional-level protection and breathability. The Kinetic Fit System's glove-in-glove construction provides excellent responsiveness between your hands and the stick for improved puck handling.Colors: 4
The Reebok 28K KFS Hockey Gloves offer a high level of performance without the big price tag. These gloves feature molded EVA and high-density foams for good protection. The pro-selected polyester exterior with additional abrasion zones keep the glove lightweight and durable.Colors: 6
The Reebok 26K KFS Hockey Gloves offer a contoured fit but with an open segmented cuff for ample wrist movement. Polyester with embossed polyurethane gives the glove solid durability while maintaining a lightweight feel.Colors: 10
The Reebok 26K KFS Limited Edition Hockey Gloves offer the same construction and fit as the original 26K, but are offered in a variety of unique color ways.Colors: 4
The Reebok 24K KFS Hockey Gloves are the entry level model in the Reebok lineup. The 24K KFS is constructed from polyester and lined with single density foams for a lightweight feel and is contoured fitting for quick responsiveness.Colors: 1


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The original deal pioneer keeps on pinching pennies and cracking wise. No, that price isn't a typo.
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Well, how do you fare compared to the Zeitgeist?
Chat up your fellow wooters and let us know how lame this poll was or what obvious choices we missed.
For example: Was this poll a) STUPID, b) DUMB, c) POINTLESS or d) ALL OF THE ABOVE?
Cooked in a Dutch Oven. ツ
I bake it... But I also stuff it with rosemary and thyme. Yummmmm.
Did you peepz think it meant what you can make? Deep-fried and Smoked are on a whole different level from Baked.
I appreciate that props were given to us vegetarians! We got our very own answer option! W00t!
roasted. although I heard deep fried is the way to go. hope to try it this year!
when it's still gobbling
I like to take leftover turkey, chop it up, throw it in a frying pan, and add ludicrous amounts of gravy. Simmer until the turkey absorbs all of the gravy. So gooooood.
ltf217 wrote:roasted. although I heard deep fried is the way to go. hope to try it this year!
What this person said, there is no better way to soon a bird of any kind than on a spit over an open fire.
When it is stuffed with a duck, which itself is stuffed with a chicken. Turducken, yo!
I'm going to venture a guess that a large portion of the 'baked' population hasn't tried deep fried or smoked.
thearbiter wrote:I like to take leftover turkey, chop it up, throw it in a frying pan, and add ludicrous amounts of gravy. Simmer until the turkey absorbs all of the gravy. So gooooood.
Sounds yummy! With leftover stuffing? Now I'm drooling...
Covered in bacon
It has been years since we have had a roasted turkey. We have been frying for at least five years and smoking for three years. Now we do both, very few leftovers.
Leftover, cold on some delicious bread with swiss cheese, lettuce, tomato, and some good mustard.
dlcarst77 wrote:Leftover, cold on some delicious bread with swiss cheese, lettuce, tomato, and some good mustard.
and hopefully there is some leftover stuffing to toss on that sandwich
Stuffed with aromatics and roasted.
wrapped in bacon
Can you tell the pollsters don't cook? You don't bake a turkey, you roast it. I love turkey roasted, fried, smoked. Mostly I love it stuffed!
Roasted, not baked with a couple of pieces of bacon on top. But I agree with bblhed, on a spit. My grill has such an attachment, and with a smaller turkey I would just let it spin and cook in its own juices.
Baked after brining is amazing. I definitely recommend it!
Turkeys are ROASTED not baked.
stnkyjoe wrote:Can you tell the pollsters don't cook? You don't bake a turkey, you roast it. I love turkey roasted, fried, smoked. Mostly I love it stuffed!
Yeah, I'd go for a language check. Some chef's use them interchangeably, with roasting meat, poultry, and vegetables, while baking seafood. Other use them to indicate temperature, where baking indicates <300 (or <350) and roasting higher, with more rapid and pronounced Maillard reactions.
Perhaps they meant a turkey prepared over an EasyBake(tm) Oven.
I have never had a more juicy, flavorful turkey than one that has been deep fried. Seriously, for those of you who voted baked, you're either trying to be traditional (which I can respect), or you've never had one fried. Succulent.
Covered on cajun seasoning & a bit of parmesan cheese, *then* on bacon, *then* roast it.
thedoctor wrote:When it is stuffed with a duck, which itself is stuffed with a chicken. Turducken, yo!
The turkey needs to be brined before cooking. I prefer to roast the turkey.
ngibson wrote:I'm going to venture a guess that a large portion of the 'baked' population hasn't tried deep fried or smoked.
Dead on @ngibson. They're only answering what they know, either that or they tasted deep-fried or smoked when it wasn't done properly. Y'all come on down to Texas and I'll show you how it's done.
Grilled on a Charcoal Weber and smoked with mixture pecan and hickory, sitting on top a bed of root vegetables and stuffed with, the seasonal fruits, apples, pears, oranges
I have had turkey BAKED, SMOKED, AND DEEP FRIED. All three are good, but when you get a perfectly baked Turkey, it hands down beats any method. The problem, it that most people don't know how to bake a perfect turkey. It is an art. As with anything, you must use proper seasoning and it does vary. When you get the a perfectly baked turkey, it is like heaven. Deep fried is good, but it isn't nearly as good as baked. The key to bake a turkey, is a good brine, seasoning (varies, but I go crazy with garlic, rosemary, EVO, thyme, salt pepper, safron), and LOVE. It is work to make a perfect turkey, but if done right, it is the BEST. Deep fried is good and easy. That is why it is gaining popularity. It is the lazy man way to cook, but is consistent.
I've only ever had it baked, but i bet deep-fried tastes best. Frying something always makes it taste better.
Absolutely the best turkey I have ever tasted (I don't care much for turkey but I finished off the levtovers without ever getting tired of it!) is Alton Brown's recipe from the Thanksgiving episode of Good Eats.
Brined in vegetable stock plus a few extra ingredients, the inner cavity filled only with flavor giving ingredients (because stuffing is evil, and easily made outside the bird) then cooked at a high temp for 30 minutes before slapping on the turkey triangle for the remainder of the lower temperature roasting time.
Everyone who ate it admits it was the best turkey ever. NO GRAVY REQUIRED! Even leftovers were juicy and delicious, I cannot stop talking about it even to this day. I'm using that recipe again this year.
I just had one of those giant smoked turkey drumsticks from a vendor at Universal Studios in Florida, it was amazing!
If you don't brine your turkey, you don't know what you're doing!
i'm just guessing that most people who didn't say smoked have never had it. i hadn't until last year and its one of the best things i've ever eaten. i'm sure there are some people who just don't like smoked things, but otherwise everyone should try to get their hands on some.
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What is the output of a car charger
- Asked by Pieter E
- Sep 16, 2012
Just Wireless Dual USB Car Charger for iOS Devices
Product No Longer Available
3 Answers from the Community
The output of this car charger is 2.1 AMP per port (4.2 AMP total). Which means you can charger two IPhones, two IPads or a combination of the two, simultaneously.
- Answered by Isaac D from Brooklyn
- Dec 11, 2012
Typically 12v @ up to 10 or 15 amps. You can always check what fuse you have installed in your car's fuse panel to see the maximum amperage.
- Answered by John C from Denver
- Sep 29, 2012
The output is 12 volts 20 amps, strong enough to charge 2 devices at the same time.
- Answered by Eddie D from New York
- Nov 18, 2012


text:
Higginbotham/Democrat photo
A fire at this home at 5 Short St. in Somersworth early Friday morning destroyed the residence but caused no major injuries.
SOMERSWORTH — A mobile home at 5 Short St., off Blackwater Road, was destroyed by fire early Friday morning.While the homeowner, Anthony Morse, and his two cats made it out of the residence safely, one firefighter was injured when he slipped at the scene.Fire Lt. Michael Spinney said Morse initially attempted to extinguish the fire by using a shovel and snow before fire crews arrived.While the cause of the fire remains under investigation, fire officials do not believe the blaze is suspicious."I heard a noise in the kitchen and thought it was the cats messing around," said Morse, who said he believed the fire may have started underneath the sink. The smoked filled residence was evacuated before the arrival of fire crews. Two cats in the home made it out safely, Morse said. Spinney said Morse would be staying with family for the night.Berwick fire crews covered the Somersworth station.


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Customer Ratings:
I had tried EVERYTHING. No matter what sunscreen, what price, what ingredients. It always made me break out in little white bumps on my forehead, or was brutally sticky with a bad white cast. When I found Paula's choice, I ordered a ton of samples, and this beaut has been perfection for the past 6 months that I've been using it. My dry acne prone skin is finally happy and I am too!
This is a lovely gentle moisturizer. Glides on smoothly, and absorbs quickly. I have normal to dry sensitive skin but is prone to breakouts. Many products I have tried such as Clinique, have made my forehead breakout in tiny red dots, yuck. This product seems to calm yucky red dots. I love that it's fragrance free and has such a high SPF. I am not convinced however that this product will be moisturizing enough for very dry skin.
I haven't bought the sunscreen yet, but it took a LOT of reading for me to figure out that the ingredients that were causing rashes were oxy & avobenzone. With rosacea, you can't use these if you'll actually be in the sun. Paula's rosacea formula doesn't contain these. I will order this when I run out of my current formula, and to the previous reviewer - it's titanium dioxide that leaves a whitish cast, but that's the sunscreen that's safe for rosacea.
I think it's a good moisturizer, it didn't irritate my face or cause break outs. But it did leave a white cast, I'm wondering if Paula has any moisturizers for dry skin that doesn't leave a white cast.
This sunscreen does not irritate at all, which is one thing I really like about it. There is also no white-cast, as others have mentioned. Unfortunately I won't be purchasing again. It definitely leaves an oily sheen on my face, despite applying powder after. I also started to get pimples after about a weeks use. I will test it out again in the winter to see if my skin handles it a bit better then.
Wow, wow, WOW! I'm so impressed with the skin recovery line. This sunscreen is especially amazing for problem dry skin. It feels so buttery, it almost has a whipped texture. It's very soothing and comforting on my skin. It's hard to describe how amazing the texture is but I actually look forward to putting my sunscreen on in the morning because this feels so good!
Only had this for a week but love it so far. I'm 29 and looking to prevent wrinkles esp crows feet an was looking for a spf I could use not only on my face but around my eye area. As long as I dont get it in my eye its amazing. Not only do you get benifits of 30 spf but its also a great everyday moisturizer. I thought it would be a think cream but its not an I dont get any white cast it blends an sinks into the skin right away.
I've been using the Resist Cellular Repair SPF 25 for the past couple of years, but my big complaint was always that it left my skin a bit shiny. I figured I would try a different one, and I'm glad I did - this is great. Still a shine, but more "glow-y" and less greasy than the Resist . My skin sits right at "normal", but can get dry with harsh products or in the winter. This is my new every day moisturizer. Works well under makeup or on its own.
This product has a great feel and consistency but again it seems that only SPF 15 is available to Australians (at www.paulaschoice.com.au) whereas it's SPF 30 internationally (on www.paulaschoice.com). I can't see any logical reason for this - unless you're flogging your old stock to Australians, which is not acceptable either. Australia has some of the world's highest levels of solar radiation, melanomas and skin cancers - we need the higher SPF products, not the lower ones.
Hi there! Rest assured, there's been no flogging of old stock to Australia. We love our Australian customers! Here's the deal: Due to Australia's testing regulations on sunscreens, at this time, we are unable to claim higher than an SPF 15 on our packaging. Each of our SPF-rated products is currently going through Australia's Therapeutic Goods Administration's extra testing to verify that these sun protection products can indeed sport the higher SPF ratings we know that they offer based on results from U.S. regulations. All SPF-rated products purchased from Paula's Choice Australia website are the exact same formulation as if you purchased through the Paula's Choice U.S website, just with the specific labeling currently necessary for us to be allowed to sell them in Australia. Once these sunscreens have passed the TGA's regulatory processing, we will be cleared to show the actual SPF ratings on each sun protection product.
I have used this gentle and effective moisturizer for 10 years - it has never let me down and my skin looks great! Zinc oxide is the only sunscreen I can use on my face (my skin is dry and sensitive). Some may be put off by the thick texture and initial white cast of this moisturizer, but the white fades quickly and makeup goes on smoothly. Not only is it gentle and moisturizing, but an effective sunscreen.
I really enjoy this one because of how moisturizing it is for my dry skin. It makes my skin look dewy, soft and smooth. Make up looks great because of lack of flakiness when I use it. Plus it has SPF! This is just what my skin has been craving for a long time!
This is my first paulas choice purchase and I must say I really like this product. I cringed applying other mineral sunscreens when I couldn't find it one morning. This has the most natural look of all sunscreens and the best ingredients.
Cons: I have oily skin and I find that it's not hydrating? It feels great and hydrating at first but then dries a bit tacky and tight performs exactly like a gel moisturizer. Can anyone relate?
Every SPF face moisturizer I have used in the past has made my face look "rough" or dull. They didn't make my face look good at all. This daytime moisturizer is perfect! You only need to use a little bit to get nice coverage on your face. This SPF does not leave a white cast on my pale skin! It sinks right in and takes away flakes or rough patches, & makes my face feel super soft. It might feel greasy at first when you apply it, but for me, once you rub it in carefully, there is no greasy feel.
This sunscreen moisturizer is perfect for my extra-sensitive skin. I love the broad-spectrum SPF 30 and the light, non-greasy lotion. I use it daily and it has never irritated my skin -- a rare feat for a sunscreen. Thank you, Paula's Choice!
I have tried many sunscreen products in the past and haven't had luck with one, until Skin Recovery Daily Moisturizing Lotion SPF 30. Most sunscreens I've tried were tacky, left my face shiny, stung, or just didn't work with my skin. Skin Recovery Daily Moisturizing Lotion SPF 30 is excellent for my dry, sensititve skin. I love that it's SPF 30 and that it had titanium dioxide and zinc oxide as active ingredients. Avobenzone never worked for my skin. Worth every cent.
This daily SPF combines my two favorite things: A satin finish moisturizer with a physical SPF of at least 30. The usability of this product comes with the finish: there is no need for someone with oilier combination skin to blot use a mattifier over this product, and it protects really well too. i will definitely be purchasing this line again. For people with oilier skin who still want a mineral based SPF the Hydralight version of the sunscreen is a wonderful option as well.
This is the first moisturizer with sunscreen that didn't irritate or cause breakouts on my face. This is a HUGE deal for me because I have a history of skin cancer. I've tried so many in the past, and just had to deal with the redness and/or bumps/breakouts. I haven't been able to wear a foundation w/ sunscreen, so I wear this under my foundation. It actually makes my makeup look better!
After researching sunscreen ingredients on EWG, I knew I wanted to find a daily sunscreen with only mineral sunscreens. I tried several brands and this is the one I love. It very hydrating (I have really dry skin) and it smooths on really well for a mineral sunscreen. Plus this has all sorts of other great ingredients that are good for your skin. I'm definitely sticking with this stuff!
I used this all winter long. I'd been using a chemical sunscreen last fall. That plus changing weather caused an eczema flare up that left me with scaly, seeping sores on my cheeks and chin, complete with rosacea, pain, itching, and flaking. Sexy, right? Thankfully, I discovered this spf. It is very moisturizing if I apply a full 1/4tsp and it smells faintly of cucumbers. I can put it on my eyelids it's so non-irritating. It has a fairly strong white cast, but I am WHITE so it doesn't bother me.
I was very disappointed when the Extra Care Sunscreen was discontinued and I hoped this product would be a good replacement, but it isn't. Even in Florida where I live, my skin tightens up immediately after I put this sunscreen on. I have very dry skin and clearly this sunscreen doesn't have enough moisturizers. I will have to look elsewhere for a moisturizing sunscreen now. I'm very sad. The label on this should read "normal to dry skin."
I was using the Resist day time moisturizer, which I liked, but this is so much better for my very and sensitive skin. My skin feels soft all day long and looks great. All of Paula's products are excellent and this is one of the best.
I couldn't find a spot for reviewing the liquid lipstick so I'll add it here. These are the only lipsticks I've ever used that don't chap my lips. Great product.
Very disappointed that this was way too dry for my skin! I also tried with using an oil or moisturizer underneath, but still this product just seemed to soak up any moisture and I certainly could not put makeup on top. It looked and felt awful. Unfortunately, still searching for a good face spf for dry skin, that works well under makeup!! This search is getting kinda old tho!!
Glad it is working for many of you.
Very gentle and moisturizing. I have sensitive, acne-prone skin but have not had any irritation or breakouts from this sunscreen. It does leave a slight white-ish cast, which might be a problem depending on your skintone, so try a sample first. (I'm very fair-skinned so it's not a problem for me.)
This product is a lifesaver for sensitive skin that cannot take chemical sunscreen and needs some moisture. I've been using it for years and am very happy that it's actually a 30 - just what my dermatologist recommended. Please never change or discontinue!
I am working on finding a suitable sunscreen and was very disappointed when I tried this product. I'm perplexed as to how a product can make your face look like an oil slick but still leave it dry and yet this product succeeded in doing just that. I only used a tiny amount of the product, so I know that wasn't the issue but It was so bad that colleagues actually commented my greasy appearance, asking me if I was unwell. I love Paula's Choice products, but this just didn't make the cut for me.
Hi Christina! We're sorry the Skin Recovery SPF 30 wasn't a fit for you! We would recommend contacting our Customer Care Team, who would be happy to help with a refund or exchange, and send you samples of our other sunscreens that may be a better match for your skin type.
What makes this product unique?Skin Recovery Daily Moisturizing Lotion SPF 30 goes above and beyond most moisturizers with sunscreen. It replenishes dry, sensitive skin and ensures a healthy barrier function while protecting from daily sun damage (the cause of wrinkles and brown spots) with gentle mineral sunscreens. Loaded with potent antioxidants, skin-identical ceramides and cell-communicating peptides to restore and help maintain healthy, radiant skin that looks and acts younger. Ideal for those with rosacea and specially designed to be worn under makeup.
This daytime moisturizer with sunscreen is 100% fragrance- and colorant-free.
Who is this product for?Skin Recovery Daily Moisturizing Lotion SPF 30 is specially formulated for normal to very dry skin. Suitable for sensitive or rosacea-affected skin and ideal for use around the eyes (no need for a separate eye cream).
For use on children less than six months of age, consult a physician.
Expiration Date 6/2016
Future Oncology, December 2008, pages 841–856; Clinics in Dermatology, November-December 2008, pages 614–626; Skin Therapy Letter, September 2008, pages 5–9; Journal of Drugs in Dermatology, July 2008, pages S7–S12; Skin Pharmacology and Physiology, June 2008, pages 136–149; Pharmazie, January 2008, pages 58–60; Indian Journal of Dermatology, Venereology, and Leprology, March-April 2007, pages 80–85; Journal of Pathology, January 2007, 241–251; Journal of Dermatological Science, September 2006, pages 159–169; American Journal of Clinical Dermatology, June 2005, pages 215–223; Journal of Postgraduate Medicine, July 2004, pages 131–139; International Journal of Dermatology, July 2003, page 505; Journal of Investigative Dermatology, January 2002, pages 117–125; and Clinical Experimental Dermatology, October 2001, pages 573–577.
Key Ingredients:
zinc oxide, vitamin C, ubiquinone, palmitoyl oligopeptide, superoxide dismutase, hydrogenated lecithin, tetrahexyldecyl ascorbate, coenzyme Q10, vitamin E, apricot kernel oil, sodium hyaluronate, ceramide NS, Glycine soja sterols, caprylic/capric triglyceride, glycerin, Avena sativa, titanium dioxide, cucumber extract
Active Ingredients: Titanium Dioxide 3.85%, Zinc Oxide 3.12% (mineral sunscreens). Other Ingredients: Water, C12-15 Alkyl Benzoate (thickener), Isononyl Isononanoate (skin conditioning agent), Prunus Armeniaca (Apricot) Kernel Oil (non-fragrant emollient plant oil), Cyclopentasiloxane (silicone slip agent), Glyceryl Stearate, PEG-100 Stearate (emollient thickeners), Butylene Glycol, Pentylene Glycol (slip agents), Cetearyl Alcohol (thickening agent), Dimethicone (silicone slip agent), Glycine Soja (Soybean) Sterols (antioxidant fatty acid), VP/Eicosene Copolymer (film-forming agent), Superoxide Dismutase (antioxidant), Tocopheryl Acetate (vitamin E/antioxidant), Tetrahexyldecyl Ascorbate (stabilized vitamin C/antioxidant), Ubiquinone (coenzyme Q10/antioxidant), Ceramide 2, Sodium Hyaluronate (skin-repairing ingredients), Allantoin, Avena Sativa (Oat) Kernel Extract (anti-irritants), PEG-10 Dimethicone (silicone thickener), ), Palmitoyl Oligopeptide (cell-communicating ingredient), Tribehenin (skin conditioning agent), Hydrogenated Lecithin (cell-communicating ingredient), Polysorbate-20 (emulsifier), Glycerin (skin-identical/repairing ingredient), PEG-10 Rapeseed Sterol (skin conditioning agent), Caprylic/Capric Triglyceride (emollient/skin-repairing ingredient), Methicone (silicone slip agent), Cucumis Sativa (Cucumber) Fruit Extract (antioxidant), Alumina, Aluminum Stearate (thickening/opacifying agents), Polyhydroxystearic Acid, Xanthan Gum (thickeners), Disodium EDTA (chelating agent), Sorbitan Stearate (emulsifier), Ethylhexylglycerin (skin-conditioning agent), Caprylyl Glycol, Chlorphenesin, Phenoxyethanol (preservatives).
DIRECTIONS: Apply liberally 15 minutes before sun exposure as the last step of your morning skincare routine. Use a water-resistant sunscreen if swimming or sweating. Reapply at least every 2 hours if skin is exposed to sun.
Sun Protection Measures: Spending time in the sun increases your risk of skin cancer and early signs of skin aging. To decrease this risk, regularly use a sunscreen with broad spectrum SPF 15 or higher and other sun protection measures including: limit time in the sun, especially from 10 a.m.–2 p.m.; wear long sleeve shirts, pants, hats, and sunglasses. Children under 6 months: ask a doctor.
Detailed instructions on how and when to apply your Paula's Choice products can be found in our How to Put Together Your Own Skincare Routine article.
The Skin Recovery Daily Moisturizing Lotion SPF 15 is now an SPF 30! Did you change the formula?
Should I reapply Skin Recovery Daily Moisturizing Lotion SPF 30 during the day?
How is Skin Recovery Daily Moisturizing Lotion SPF 30 different from Moisture Boost Daily Restoring Complex SPF 30?
How is Skin Recovery Daily Moisturizing Lotion SPF 30 different from Resist Cellular Defense Daily Moisturizer SPF 25?
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text:
1. Aragorn: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
You are now the proud owner of an ARAGORN! Please follow the procedures detailed in this manual in order to use your Heir of Isildur to his full potential.
Name: Aragorn (aka Strider, Dunadan, Estel, Elessar Telcontar, Thorongil etc etc)
Type: Human (male)
Manufacturers: Arathorn & Gilraen Ltd.
Date of Production: March 1st Year 2931 of the Third Age
Height: 6 feet
Weight: 185 lbs
Weapon Length: 48 inches (after surgery by the Elven smiths of Rivendell)
*** CAUTION *** The safe installation of your ARAGORN is a difficult task. It is essential that you read the following instructions before opening the crate in which your ARAGORN was delivered.
(1) Obtain the following items:
* Bottle of chloroform
* Pad of cloth
* Stiff-bristled scrubbing brush
* Anti-tangle shampoo for extra-greasy hair
* Bubble bath
* Comb
* Scissors
* Flea-powder
(2) Run a hot bath into which you should empty at least three pints of bubble bath.
(3) Remove the lid of the crate and while your ARAGORN is still groggy from the journey, clap the chloroformed pad to his mouth and nose.
(4) Wait for your ARAGORN to stop struggling and then drag him into the bathroom.
(5) You will find that your ARAGORN is wrapped in torn, grubby, travel-stained pieces of material. Believe it or not, these are his clothes. Remove them with all speed.
(6) Manhandle him into the bath, making sure that he doesn't accidentally drown.
(7) Apply soap to all your ARAGORN's components and rub vigorously. Use the scrubbing brush on any stubborn stains.
(8) Apply shampoo to your ARAGORN's head and rinse. Repeat six or seven times until his hair is clean.
(9) Heave your ARAGORN out of the bath and dry him rapidly with a hair-dryer on full blast. Speed is of the essence here, as you must complete the grooming procedure before the chloroform wears off.
(10) Use the comb to get the tangles out of his hair. Tug as hard as you like – he's unconscious.
(11) Use the scissors to trim his fringe so that he stands a chance of being able to see where he is going.
(12) Dust your ARAGORN lightly with flea-powder.
(13) Dress him in whatever clothing you deem suitable (if any). If you own a BOROMIR model, he may be able to lend your ARAGORN a few items that will fit. Something with a white tree and stars motif may be appropriate.
(14) Wait for your ARAGORN to regain consciousness. Do not be surprised if, upon waking, he attempts to rush out into the garden and roll in the dirt. (Have the chloroform at hand, just in case.)
*** NOTE *** It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single owner in possession of an ARAGORN rarely waits to read the manual before unpacking him. If it is indeed the case that you couldn't be bothered to peruse this document before feverishly yanking the lid off the crate in a wild rush of oestrogen, tough luck! The chances of you ever being able to wash your ARAGORN properly now are as slender as a willow wand. You will just have to put up with him covered in sweat and grease. Oh yes, his muscular, broad-shouldered frame will be forever smothered with dirt and grime, his lean body gleaming with a sheen of sweat, his dark hair hanging limply in his smouldering green eyes, his huge…
[NOTE FROM EDITOR:– At this point Theresa Green had to abandon her writing to enjoy an ice-cold shower and a brisk ten mile run.]
Your ARAGORN comes equipped with a variety of useful accessories:
(a) Elven cloak and brooch
(b) Pipe and tobacco
(c) Leather boots
(d) Winged crown
(e) Bow and arrows
(f) Silver pendant
(g) Broadsword
Your ARAGORN will be particularly attached to the items (f) and (g). Under no circumstances should you try to take them away from him. You should even allow him to carry his sword in public. If he is stopped by the police (who have received anxious calls about a suspicious Rasputin-type character roaming the streets), simply tell the officers in question that your ARAGORN is a famous actor who is trying to get into role.
You may wish to improve your ARAGORN's mobility by purchasing a horse for him. Three editions of ARAGORN's horse are currently available – the HASUFEL, the ROHERYN and the BREGO. It does not really matter which one you buy for him, but be warned that in the event of your ARAGORN lying semi-conscious on the banks of a river, the BREGO unit may try to kiss him.
You might have your own ideas about the services that you would like your ARAGORN to provide and the location in which such procedures should be carried out, e.g. in the bedroom, on the dining room table, on the floor in the living room, up against the wall in the garage, that kind of thing. But there may be other tasks that your ARAGORN can accomplish without creating quite so much work for the divorce lawyers. For example…
It may come as a surprise to many owners, that a model with the remarkable destructive capacity of an ARAGORN is almost as good at patching people together as he is at unseaming them from the nave to the chops. If you can manage to pull Anduril out of his hot little hand and give him a first aid kit to wield, your ARAGORN can work wonders on those nasty little Ring-Wraith-induced injuries.
Children's Party Organiser:
Your ARGORN is programmed to take superb care of small groups of children. Entrust him with your offspring and he will organise all sorts of activities for them. After acquiring a pony for your group of kiddies, your ARAGORN will lead them on a long, rambling walk through the countryside, showing them all sorts of flora and fauna. The expedition will encompass a sightseeing tour of the scene Uncle Bilbo's troll adventure. Your ARAGORN will then lead a sing-along of old favourites such as 'Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Mallorn Tree', 'Old Gil-galad Had A Sword, E I E I O' and 'I Was Only, 24 Leagues From Gondor'
*** CAUTION *** There is a small risk that your ARAGORN will get carried away and allow the rough and tumble during the party to escalate to the point where one of the children sustains a slightly lethal wound to the shoulder that will rob him of his immortal soul and leave his body an empty husk to be used as an instrument of profound evil by the Dark Lord of Mordor. But what the heck! Kids are always getting into scrapes aren't they?
In the event of one of your pets or family members going missing, you will be able to activate your ARAGORN's impressive search and rescue program. The codewords to trigger this modus operandi are, 'Let's go hunt some orc!' Thereafter the sight of a single bent blade of grass will be enough to set your trusty Ranger on the trail.
*** CAUTION *** Once the search and rescue routine has been enabled, you may find it almost impossible to deactivate. Your ARAGORN will run relentlessly across the countryside, tirelessly scanning the ground for discarded brooches, isty-bitsy footprints etc.
*** NOTE *** If he falls hopelessly behind the mislaid family member, you may have to send an EOMER model to intercept him and provide your ARAGORN with a faster mode of transportation.
The difficulty of getting an ARAGORN to take a wash has been documented widely. One expert goes so far as to suggest that there is a 'scruff' gene passed down from generation to generation of Numenoreans (Dr. Jasta Elf, University of FanFiction, 2002). One option is to lure an ARAGORN into a bath by using an unwrapped ARWEN model as bait in the hope that the ensuing horseplay causes a least some of the dirt to be removed (or at least relocated). If this fails, you may have to use the chloroform left over from when you first unpacked your ARAGORN.
A well-travelled model such as the ARAGORN has a high degree of compatibility with a great many other units.
*** NOTE *** Your ARAGORN may be known to the other model under a different name. Please see the list below:
Model ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Refers to ARAGORN as…
FRODO ~ ~ ~ ~ Aragorn
MERIADOC ~ ~ Strider
PEREGRIN ~ ~ ~Strider
SAMWISE ~ ~ ~ Mister Strider, Sir
GLORFINDEL ~ ~ Dunadan
BILBO ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The Dunadan
GILRAEN~ ~ ~ ~Estel
EOMER ~ ~ ~ ~ Wingfoot
BILL FERNY ~ ~ Longshanks
BOROMIR ~ ~ ~ My Brother, My Captain, My King (only when dying or drunk)
ELDARION ~ ~ ~ Daddy or Ada
ARWEN ~ ~ ~ ~ Honeybunny/Sweetcheeks/BigBoy etc
LEGOLAS ~ ~ ~ Aragorn or (in 'slash' mode) Honeybunny/Sweetcheeks/BigBoy etc.
Q: What star-sign is my ARAGORN?
A: Your ARAGORN was originally unpacked from a GILRAEN model on March 1st which makes him a Pisces. Pisces are by nature determined, courageous and loyal. Lucky flowers – elanor and niphredil. Lucky colours – black and silver. Lucky number – 9.
Q: My ARAGORN doesn't have a necklace. Instead he has a great stone of clear green, set in a silver brooch wrought in the likeness of an eagle with outspread wings. What is the reason for this?
A: The brooch was a gift from his grandmother-in-law, as a token of hope. Under no circumstances should you say, "My word, what a gaudy piece of tat!"
Q: I own both an ARAGORN and a Mk II LEGOLAS. My ARAGORN seems upset because the Elf criticises his time-keeping and tells him that he 'looks terrible'. What can I do?
A: Console your ARAGORN with the thought that he may be unpunctual and scruffy, but at least he has a girlfriend – LEGOLAS only has GIMLI to keep him warm at night.
Q: I recently checked the odometer on my ARAGORN only to find that he had done more than 27,000 miles in the last year! Most of it on foot! Can this possibly be correct?
A: The ARAGORN model is renowned for its impressive annual mileage. After all, he is a Ranger. However 27,000 miles does sound a bit much even for an ARAGORN. It is possible that you have been issued with a European version of the ARAGORN, in which case he has actually covered 27,000 kilometres.
Q: My neighbour has GIMLI and LEGOLAS units. Every morning the Elf and dwarf go jogging past our house. My ARAGORN looks longingly after them, so I allow him join them in their training runs. Now he tells me they have formed the 'Three Hunters Athletics Club' and are entering the London Marathon. Have I made a mistake?
A: No, it is perfectly safe to let an ARAGORN run with a GIMLI and LEGOLAS. You may be astonished just how far they can get in the space of a few days. Don't be surprised if they telephone from Edinburgh asking you to post them the train fare home. As for the London Marathon – why not let your ARAGORN enter? He might even win a prize for best fancy-dress costume.
*** NOTE *** You may want to warn your friend that it is potentially dangerous for a LEGOLAS to run in the London Marathon due to the prevalence of seagulls on the Thames Estuary. (He might be able to compete if he wore earplugs and a blindfold.)
Q: I have heard that it is possible to breed from my ARAGORN. Is this true?
A: Yes, it is. It involves carefully inserting the extension lead of your ARAGORN into the socket of an ARWEN unit. The technical details of this procedure can be found on a variety of Fan Fiction sites.
*** NOTE *** Do not be confused by some Fan Fiction writers who insist that it is possible to breed from an ARAGORN by plugging him into a LEGOLAS model. The union of these two models may result in many phenomena (e.g. broken bedsprings, keening cries of passion etc.) but a child is not one of them.
Problem: Your ARAGORN persists in sloping off down to the pub of an evening, where he sits in a corner, wrapped in his cloak, unnerving the clientele.
Solution: Your ARAGORN has reverted to 'Strider' mode. Send your children down to the pub to chat to your Ranger. He will almost certainly follow them home to keep them safe.
Problem: Your ARAGORN doesn't glitter.
Solution: Don't worry – he's still gold.
Problem: Your ARAGORN keeps getting telephone calls from a GLORFINDEL model asking when ARWEN intends to return his horse.
Solution: The horse in question is an ASFALOTH model. His ownership has been a bone of contention since the 1980s when a LEGOLAS unit rode him. More recently, in 2001, the ASFALOTH unit was hijacked by an ARWEN model and ridden with reckless abandon through groves of trees and across flooding rivers. The best tactic for your ARAGORN unit is to keep out of the argument. After all GLORFINDEL once battled with the Witch King of Angmar, so knocking the stuffing out of a little King of Gondor wouldn't be much of a challenge.
Problem: Your ARAGORN is distraught because he has lost his pretty necklace.
Solution: Find your nearest Mk II LEGOLAS. He will have found the necklace and kept it safe.
Problem: Your ARAGORN is being stalked by a blonde woman whom he met at the Pony Club. She says that she has an injured arm that she would like him to have a look at.
Solution: Rent a FARAMIR unit for the weekend. She will quickly be distracted and leave your ARAGORN alone.
Problem: Your ARAGORN's choice of friends does not meet with your approval. His best mate, HALBARAD, keeps popping round with thirty or so weather-beaten blokes who stand around looking grim and drinking all the beer in your fridge.
Solution: Blame the nearest GALADRIEL model for reminding your ARAGORN to invite HALBARAD and the lads round. Console yourself with the thought that the Boys from the North always seem to bring the SONS OF ELROND twin-pack with
them, so at least you will have something pretty to look at.
Your ARAGORN model is under guarantee until March 1st Year 120 of the Fourth Age. (That's 1541 for owners living in the Shire.) Thereafter you may find him somewhat unresponsive. If you own an ARWEN model, she will go for a bit of lie down in Lothlorien at this point. Any LEGOLAS and GIMLI models in the vicinity will finally finish that ship that they have been constructing out of matchsticks for the last 120 years, and set sail for Valinor.
However do not despair! Contact your nearest Heir of Isildur dealer and ask for the latest ELDARION model. He is sure to provide the first-class service that you have come to expect from the race of Elendil.
This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.