text:
MANHATTAN - Last season, it took a goal-line stand for Kansas State to escape South Beach with a 28-24 victory over the Miami Hurricanes.
MANHATTAN - The first half was eerily reminiscent of last year's season opener for Kansas State.
WEEK 1 TV schedule
NEW YORK - The NFL will open the regular season next week with replacement officials and said it was prepared to use them "as much ... as necessary" afterward.
Friday, Aug. 31
MANHATTAN - K-State's $75 million West Stadium Center at Bill Snyder Family Stadium will be a thing of beauty when completed next August, but for the 2012 football season fans may experience some minor inconveniences during construction.
MANHATTAN - During a six-day stretch, preseason No. 22-ranked Kansas State sold out two of its first three home games at Snyder Family Stadium for the upcoming college football season as department officials announced Saturday that all public tickets to the Saturday, Sept. 15, game with North Texas have been sold.
Once upon a time, Mike Clark built Kansas State's baseball program. Now, Clark represents the university as senior director of development.
KANSAS CITY, Mo. - All William Powell wants is a chance.
After two weeks of camp under his belt at the University of Kansas, Jayhawks head football coach Charlie Weis said that things are working out as he expected.
KANSAS CITY, Mo. - One seemingly couldn't tell which team was playing its National Football League preseason opener on Friday night at Arrowhead Stadium.
MANHATTAN - If he hadn't missed the final four games, one has to wonder what kind of season Tyler Lockett would have had in 2011.
MANHATTAN - Kansas State head football coach Bill Snyder's offenses haven't been notorious for quick snaps over the years. Running the play-clock down to the last second, driving Wildcats fans crazy, is one of their trademarks.
MANHATTAN - Kansas State was one of six Big 12 football teams ranked in the 2012 USA Today sports coaches poll released Thursday as the Wildcats checked in at No. 21 in the preseason survey.
HOT MICINGTON — All through journalism school there was one thing that was pounded into our brains day after day: "The mic is always hot."
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JollyGrim is a fairy tale themed TCG that features a unique mix of role-playing and real time strategy. Players are transported into a mysterious story book world with some of their beloved fable characters like Pied Piper or Little Red Riding Hood. Complete single player campaigns battling AI opponents or face off in a multiplayer PvP match. Build an impressive deck of fairy tale legends and finish the story as a hero in this wacky card based MMO.
Publisher: GameSamba
Playerbase: Low
Graphics: Medium
Type: MMO TCCG
EXP Rate: Low
PvP: Yes
Filesize: 298 mb
Pros: +Challenging gameplay. +Nice infusion of RTS and RPG aspects. +Comical storyline. +Multiple game modes. +Large variety of fantasy cards to choose from.
Cons: – Fairy tale setting may not be for everyone. – No character creation. – Slow paced gameplay. –Small playerbase. – Graphics could be better.
JollyGrim Overview
JollyGrim is a 2D collectible card game that combines real-time strategy tactics with RPG elements. In this rare hybrid MMO from GameSamba, players step into the role of a young student living in a mysterious fairy-tale world like no other. Although the characters are familiar their adventures are wacky with various twists and turns. Users can choose from single player story campaigns and AI battles or wage war against others in a multiplayer mode with 1v1, 2v2, and 3v3 matches. Use strategy to outwit opponents during grid-based card showdowns. Build powerful decks with popular favorites like Red Riding Hood to Anime inspired characters such as Kyuubi no Kitsune. Collect over 200 different cards featuring cherished fairy-tale characters or mythical monsters to battle against other players' decks. Explore and rank high in the Leaderboards in this unusual CCG.
JollyGrim Screenshots
JollyGrim Featured Video
JollyGrim Review
By Ange Perdu
JollyGrim is a hybrid MMO that adds elements of RTS with fantasy role-playing for a unique collectible card gaming experience. Players enter a magical world that goes beyond the pages of our favorite fairytale storybooks and into the realm of the unknown. Since the human population consists of primarily of children, a small group of adults built an academy to educate the youth on surviving in the wacky and sometimes dangerous land. Each player starts out as Will, a young boy attending the JollyGrim Academy. Guide him along in the single player campaigns through various adventures or take a chance venturing out on your own with intense card-based PvP battles in multiplayer mode. There's over 200 different fable inspired collectible cards that users can acquire to build up their playing decks. Unlock special skills, boosts, and items for an advantage. Rise from the ranks of obscurity to fairytale legend on the leader boards and participate in special tournaments with your friends.
JollyGrim 101, the Gameplay
There are two separate game modes in JollyGrim. Beginners are encouraged to start out in single player mode to build up their decks and later progress into multiplayer PvP matches. The single player campaign modes are divided into chapters which takes Will on various adventures. Users will start out in the halls of JollyGrim Academy learning the basics. There's an odd sense of humor embedded into the fairytale theme of the game that makes the dialogue and cut scenes rather comical. It's almost as if it's a screwball or parody of the beloved classics many of us grew up reading. The first few chapters in the campaign has Will chasing a hamster with a stolen ring through the halls and desperately trying to get past a group of hostile girls in a locker room. In between the dialog players are given tasks to execute. Most of these quests require a card based battle to complete. Cutting class for example to go to the local Taco joint where Red Riding Hood happens to be working part-time turns disastrous when the Big Bad Wolf comes in complaining about how one of their burritos gave him the runs. After some more comical banter and the refusal of a refund, the wolf demands a battle to the death. Players are joined with Red Riding Hood to face off against the irate wolf. All battles take place on a 10×7 grid similar to the game Carte. Users must left-click on their chosen card and then the highlighted grid space they wish to move. Once in position a player can right-click on their card to initiate an attack and then left-click on the enemy to strike. There's a few animated effects like bloody claw slashes or ice sickles that appear on inflicted cards but that's about it. The graphics are very cartoonish and appear only in standard 2D. Each character can execute several moves or spells. Successfully completing quests in the campaign mode will unlock the next chapter and occasionally reward players with new cards or skills. Campaign mode can be repeated at several varied levels of difficulty ranging from an easy Lullaby to arduous Legend setting. Depending on the amount of challenge a player prefers. Although entertaining the non-stop card battles can feel repetitive at times.
Standard Versus & Calling Reinforcements
One of the most impressive features about the game is the massive card collection that players can accumulate. There are over 200 different cards available. Each one features a recognizable fairytale character or legendary beast. The wide variety makes the collection process more interesting. Players can acquire the Pied Piper, the Gingerbread Man, Kyuubi no Kitsune, Princess Ozma, Lizardman, Cat Sidhe, Pegasus, Rupunzel, The Caterpillar, Red Riding Hood, Ebenezer Scrooge, Werewolf, Gelatinous Blob, Pirate, Ninja, Siren, Skeleton, Dragon, Witch, Mage, Priest, Warrior, Thief, Troll, Pixie, Duelist, Ondine, Valkyrie, Monster Book, and more. All cards are categorized into a specific type with a control set, rarity value, and HP level. Players must build their decks with up to 10 control point cards and only a total of 7 control points worth of cards can be played at a time. Extra cards can be set aside in the reinforcement area and used later in a match. Similar to BattleForge powerful cards and strategy are essential for victory. Users must carefully select their deck by clicking and dragging the preferred cards into the two panel hand list before a battle begins. Each card has its own signature moves that they can execute during combat depending on the type. The Dragon card can ignite the terror in the skies maneuver which calls all dragon kind cards on the grid to aid in an attack. The Caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland series collection delivers Bad to Great Advice which heals all ally cards with various HP amounts. The Lizardman has a tail whip move that punishes enemies with a devastating critical hit. Additional skills can be unlocked through leveling up and completing campaign chapters. Players can enroll in different classes at the academy to boost their card decks also.
Leaderboard Domination in PvP
In Multiplayer mode players use their decks to battle other players in to the death showdowns. Users are automatically matched up for combat from the lobby area. Battles consist of 1v1, 2v2, or 3v3 mode. Identical to the combat in single player mode individuals or teams must destroy all of their enemy's cards on the grid to win. Much like Eredan iTCG matches are somewhat difficult to find due to the small playerbase and community. The game is still in its early stages so more frequent matches may become available soon. There's a convenient chat interface that allows players to communicate with each other and messaging features. As players level up they can form alliances and compete in special club battles with cool prizes. Tournaments are set to be held regularly also. The auction option allows players to trade rare cards and items with each other. Although the game features a shop with specialty items, boosts, and avatar costumes it's somewhat unnecessary. Players will primarily use auctions and in-game rewards from battles to acquire most of their cards and accessories. The set gender character of Will and player avatar limits users. In terms of character customization there is none. The attempt to combine fantasy role-playing in the game integrates nicely within the gameplay but falls short when it comes to customization options.
Final Verdict: Good
JollyGrim is a very entertaining hybrid TCG MMO by GameSamba that takes players beyond the pages of their favorite fairytales and into a more comical mysterious world of possibilities. Go on various adventures with Red Riding Hood, Pied Piper, and a long list of characters. Build massive decks with Gelatinous Blobs, Dragons, Witches, and over 200 other fable creatures. Tackle single player campaigns trekking through the land of JollyGrim and wage war in card battles or go toe to toe with others in multiplayer PvP matches. Boost cards with a variety of skills that unlock through leveling and winning battles. There's clubs, tournaments, and chat options for users to socialize. Hold auctions to sell and trade unwanted cards and create a powerful deck worthy of ranking high in the Leaderboards. Similar to other games like Carte, Pokémon TCG, and Eredan iTCG player use strategy and a winning hand to take out their opponents. Any fans of trading card games or fantasy MMOs should definitely check out what this strange fairytale realm has to offer.
JollyGrim Videos
JollyGrim Official Trailer
JollyGrim Links
JollyGrim System Requirements
Coming Soon. . .

subset: commoncrawl


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Sen. John Barrasso said Sunday that when Republicans held up a vote last week on Chuck Hagel's nomination to be defense secretary, it wasn't a political ploy, but a sign of serious questions about the nominee.
"I have grave reservations," Barrasso said on CNN's "State of the Union." "I think he's been wrong about Iran, wrong about Israel, wrong in Iraq, wrong with nuclear weapons. I absolutely plan to vote against him."
The Wyoming Republican argued Hagel, who will likely be confirmed despite the GOP opposition, is going to be "less effective (at the Pentagon) because of the fact that the president nominated him."
"There were a lot of Democrats on Capitol Hill that don't believe he was the best choice. I'm sure the White House is very disturbed with how poorly he did during the confirmation hearing," he said. "I think it is going to impact him as he tries to limp across the finish line to get confirmed."
Hagel has taken heat for not previous statements and positions, including his refusal to back unilateral sanctions against Iran in the past, though he said in his confirmation hearing that he supports the president's sanctions strategy. Others have questioned his association with an anti-nuclear proliferation group that calls for an elimination of all such weapons.
Most Republican senators voted Thursday not to end a filibuster against Hagel's nomination, with the next vote expected to take place February 26, after the Senate returns from recess. Many Republicans said by that time, they will be ready to move ahead and hold a final vote on Hagel.
Multiple reasons have been given for the delay on Hagel's nomination. A trio of Republican senators - Sens. John McCain, Lindsey Graham and Kelly Ayotte - refused to commit to a vote until they got answers from the White House on the September attack in Benghazi, Libya. They received those answers on Thursday.
Others, such as Republican Sen. Ted Cruz, argue that Hagel has yet to provide certain financial disclosures requested by the Senate Armed Services Committee.
McCain on Thursday said GOP opposition also stemmed from "ill will" toward Hagel over the former senator's criticisms of then-President George W. Bush and the Iraq troop surge. McCain added that Hagel "was very anti his own party and people."
"People don't forget that," McCain said.
White House Chief of Staff Denis McDonough said Sunday he has since spoken to McCain and believes the senator will ease up on his rhetoric and vote to end the filibuster when the Senate gets back from recess.
"I think Sen. McCain and others know that we all have to work together to get this thing done, because when it comes to national defense, national security, that, at least, has to be above politics," McDonough said on NBC's "Meet the Press."
Graham, however, went further Sunday and described Hagel on Fox News as a "radical."
"We're doing our job to scrutinize, I think, one of the most unqualified, radical choices for secretary of defense in a very long time," Graham said.
Democratic Sen. Jack Reed of Rhode Island, a member of the Senate Armed Services committee, said he didn't think President Obama's pick of Hagel was designed to start a fight. A strong backer of Hagel, Reed pointed to Hagel's experience as a Vietnam veteran.
"I think in fact what's happened is very unusual, unprecedented review, asking for speeches, going back five years, asking for all sorts of material we've never requested of confirmation before," he said on CNN. "We're confident that we'll get the confirmation concluded when we return at the end of the week."


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Plans for Bergdahl Post-CourtMartial LeakedAnother leak from the Empire Palace reveals Barack I will appoint Beau Bergdahl--after his court-martial--as His Excellency's Ambassador to the Taliban, given Bergdahls' extensive connections there.
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The original deal pioneer keeps on pinching pennies and cracking wise. No, that price isn't a typo.
Go to Woot
Candlepower and puppet shows are so passé. Get the newest TVs, speakers, home theater gear, and more.
Go to Electronics.Woot
The robots are coming! And so are the laptops, the tablets, the chargers, and all sorts of other gadgets!
Go to Computers.Woot
High living at low prices with name-brand deals for your pad, crib, nest, or castle - inside and out.
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Make it, build it, improve it. But whatever home project you've got in mind, start by saving money on it.
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Sports, fitness, and outdoors deals, because saving money is only one of your passions.
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Go to Kids.Woot
Our exclusive graphic tees will make you laugh, will make you cry, will make you look totally hot.
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Direct from the winery to your thirsty lips: wine deals worth doing a spit-take over.
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Last chance deals for hardcore cheapskates. Catch 'em before they - you guessed it - sell out.
Go to Sellout.Woot
456,954 deals (and counting)
from around the web, shared and ranked by a community of deal fiends like you.
Go to Deals.Woot.
The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'YOU
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and
announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law.
You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.
After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and20we will have the kind of sex that I want.
Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax.
You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.
Then, you will massage my feet and hands.
Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?
The wife replied, 'The funeral director would be my first guess'.
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
'Mom ', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied.
A Mother had three virgin daughters. They were all getting married, and mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started. She made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex was going.
The first daughter sent a card from her honeymoon in Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Maxwell House". At first mom was puzzled, but she went to the kitchen and got out the Maxwell House jar. It said: "Good til the last drop." Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent her card from Vermont a week after the wedding. The card said only: "Benson & Hedges". Mom went to the drawer where her husband kept his cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack: "Extra Long. King Size". Again mom was slightly embarrassed, but she was happy for her daughter.
The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Mom started to get really worried. Then after a month, the card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky hand writing were the words "British Airways".
Mom took out her latest Harpers Bazaar magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for BA. The ad said: "Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways."
Mom fainted ....
The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit.'
He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.'
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see... size 44 long.'
Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.
Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'
Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'
The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'
Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years.'
Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?'
Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'
The salesman said, 'Let's see... size 36.
Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'
The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'
New suit - $400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS
MarkDaSpark wrote:
The card said nothing but "Nescafe". At first mom was puzzled, but she went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good til the last drop." Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
But, "good to the last drop" is the Maxwell House slogan, not Nescafe!
joelsisk wrote:But, "good to the last drop" is the Maxwell House slogan, not Nescafe!
You're right. That's how the joke was told to me, and how I also found it on the internet. Weird.
The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over forty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.
Yes, she says, 'I remember it well'
OK, he says, How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?
Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady leans against the fence and the old man moves in...
Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.
Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.
The policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing. I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else.
You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this? '
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, "Forty years ago that wasn't an electric fence!"
On the first day,
God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'
The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said: 'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said: 'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'
But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'
'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started....
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later the woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
And she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too' And then the fight started.....
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started.....
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other
driver got out of his car.
Well I couldn't believe it.... the other guy was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY! !!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started.....
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
Cesare wrote:My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started....
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later the woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
And she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too' And then the fight started.....
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started.....
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other
driver got out of his car.
Well I couldn't believe it.... the other guy was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY! !!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started.....
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
ummm, except for the dwarf, either you or someone else already posted them .....
Sole Triple indeed!
MarkDaSpark wrote:Subject: Fwd: Fw: Andy Rooney's Tips For Telemarketers
Three Little Words That Work!
(1)The three little words are: "Hold on, Please...."
Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.
Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.
(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?
This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.
This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home. What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system.
Since doing this, my phone calls have decreased dramatically.
(3) Another Good Idea:
When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.
When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope.
Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 37cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back.
It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before! The last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes. One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas. Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express.
Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back!
If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.
You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing!
Eventually, the banks and credit card companies will begin getting their own junk back in the mail.
Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice!
Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea !
If enough people follow these tips, it will work ---- I have been doing this for years, and I get very little junk mail anymore.
Entertaining, but possibly FALSE
But I love most of the jokes in this thread! Especially the one about the damaged "sternum".
In honor of the mother of the octuplets, Denny's is offering a new breakfast meal:
The Octo-Slam
You get fourteen eggs, no sausage, and the guy next to you has to pay the bill.
Cougar Barbie....yeah, you've been warned
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)
7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton ."
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above is locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."
11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
14. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye."
Well, I know some of you go crazy about these things, so I thought I might add some new ones....wwa
symbols called 'emoticons, where:
means a smile and
is a frown.
Sometimes these are represented by
:-) or :-(
Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?'
Here goes:
(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(!) a tight ass
(_*_) a sore ass
{_!_} a swishy ass
(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass
(_?_) Dumb Ass
and my favorite...
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
WineWootaholic wrote:Well, I know some of you go crazy about these things, so I thought I might add some new ones....wwa
Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?'
You sir, are a (_E=mc2_)
Or should I say ?
mwfielder wrote:Entertaining, but possibly FALSE
But I love most of the jokes in this thread! Especially the one about the damaged "sternum".
Duh. Oh wait, I forgot to use the Sarcastic font ....
How to Prank a Telemarketer
More favorites from YTMND (You're the Man Now, Dog):
Picard can't use a computer
MacGyvver & World of Warcraft
Office Space Stapler
Vader finds out what really happened to Padme
And in honor of Aces:
Jeopardy and College Newbs
Sean Connery Owns Trebek (SNL)
On the first day of their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy but sweet nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find that her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch. When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, "Because it's Lent."
Almost in tears, she remarked, "Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Who did you lend it to, and for how long?
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto woke the Lone Ranger and said, "Kemo Sabe, look at sky. What you see?"
The Lone Ranger replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger pondered for a minute and then said, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"
"You dumber than buffalo patties. It mean someone stole tent!"
A Democrat for five minutes
I was driving from Iowa City to Cedar Rapids the other day when a tire blew out. Checking my spare, I found that it too was flat. My only option was to flag down\a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town.
The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a van.
He yelled out the window, "Need a lift?"
"Yes, I sure do," I replied.
"You a Republican or Democrat," asked the old man.
"Republican," I replied.
"Well, you can just go to Hell," yelled the old man as he sped off.
Another guy stopped, rolled down the window, and asked me the same question.
Again, I gave the same answer, "
Republican." The driver gave me the finger and drove off..
I thought it over and decided that maybe I should change my strategy,
Since this area seemed to be overly political and there appeared to be few
The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful blonde.
She smiled seductively and asked if I was a Republican or Democrat.
"Democrat!" I shouted..
"Hop in!" replied the blonde.
Driving down the road, I couldn't help but stare at the gorgeous woman
In the seat next to me, the wind blowing through her hair, perfect breasts,
And a short skirt that continued to ride higher and higher up her thighs.
Finally, I yelled, "Please stop the car."
She immediately slammed on the brakes and as soon as the car stopped,
I jumped out. "What's the matter?" she asked.
"I can't take it anymore," I replied.
"I've only been a Democrat for five minutes and already I want to screw somebody."
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 AM by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'It is 3:00 in the morning!'
He slams the door and returns to bed.
Who was that?' asked his wife.
Just some drunk guy asking for a push,' he answers.
'Did you help him?' she asks.
'No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!'
'Well, you have a short memory,' says his wife.
'Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!'
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, 'Hello, are you still there?'
'Yes,' comes back the answer.
'Do you still need a push?' calls out the husband.
'Yes, please!' comes the reply from the dark.
'Where are you?' asks the husband.
'Over here on the swing,' replied the drunk.
This man goes in every evening to the pub in his small Irish town on his way home. He has three pints of Guinness and goes home. Being new to town, no one knew home. But they thought it strange that he did this every evening, always ordering three pints and then drinking them down.
So they got the bartender to ask the man why always the three pints.
He replied that he and his two brothers were very close, but lived far apart. One was in Australia and one over in America. So they agreed that every evening each of them would order three pints, drink them and think of each other.
So everyone thought that was really great that he and his brothers would be doing that.
Then the man came in and started ordering two pints. Even though he was not well known in the town, people liked him. And they were worried about what was happening with his brothers.
So again, the townspeople got the bartender to talk to the man. So the next night, when the man came in, the bartender told him "The folks around here like you, and want you to know that they will be praying for your brother at church this weekend.'
The man replied, "Why? My brothers are both doing fine."
The bartender said, "Well, since you are only oderering two pints, we thought something happened to one of your brothers."
The man said "No, that's me. It's Lent and I don't drink during Lent."
Being Irish, I liked this one:
A student gathered all his pennies and took a trip to Europe after college. He didn't have much money, so he stayed at youth hostels and ate as cheaply as he could while seeing the sights.
In Rome, he went to St. Peter's and was awe-struck by the beauty of it. On the way out, he noticed a gold telephone, and asked what it was. A priest told him that it was a direct line to the Lord himself. He asked how much it cost to place a call, and the priest told him it was 1,000 euros. He couldn't afford it and sadly walked away.
All over Italy he kept seeing the gold phones at every cathedral, but the cost was always 1,000 euros and he still couldn't afford it.
Eventually, he found himself in Ireland at St. Patrick's Cathedral, and there was the same gold phone. He asked how much a call was, and the priest said "It's one euro".
The student was amazed. He said "In Italy it costs 1,000 euros to make the same call!" The priest said "Yes, but here it's a local call".
One for the men:
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
And one for the women:
Women's Ass Size Study
There is a new study just released by the American Psychiatric Association about women and how they feel about their asses. The results are pretty shocking:
1. Only 5% of women surveyed feel their ass is perfect.
2. 10% of women surveyed feel their ass is too small.
3. 15% of women surveyed feel their ass is too big.
3. The remaining 70% say they don't care; they love him, he's a good man and they would have married him anyway.
The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years He had faithfully served
the people of the nation's capital.
He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I
die", whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to them and waited for a response.
Soon the word arrived. Harry and Nancy would be delighted to visit the
priest. As they went to the hospital, Harry commented to Nancy "I don't know
why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images."
Nancy couldn't help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Nancy 's hand in his
right hand and Harry's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of
serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally Nancy spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why
did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied "I have always tried to pattern my life
after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." The old priest
continued..."He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do
the same."
It's pretty unlikely that you, or any of us for that matter, will be traveling thru or across South Dakota next weekend, but just in case: I-90 will be closed this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
They are hauling a 200 ton lump of coal from Pennsylvania to South Dakota so they can add President Obama to Mount Rushmore!!"
any NY Italians out there?
At New York's Saint Rocco's Catholic Church they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar. At the session last week, the Priest asked Luigi, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes & share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
Luigi replied to the assembled husbands, "Wella, I've a-tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of alla is that I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!"
The Priest responded, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary."
Luigi proudly replied, "I'm agonna go get her!"
Well, this isn't really a joke, It's quite sad really, however, it is close to April 15... so...
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'
The Value of a Drink
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a re-tard.
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin,of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not
Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.
The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy just standing around and
leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let
them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you
make a week?"
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, "I make $400 a
week. Why?"
The CEO told him, "Wait right here." He then walked back to his office,
came back in two minutes and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and screamed,
"Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked,
"Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"
From across the room came a voice,
"Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."
CDC Alert:
The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically:
This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).
If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues, or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.
Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote
repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.
"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" The irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded, wanting to know where her Sunday edition was.
"Madam," said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY".
There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter,
"Well, shit... so that's why no one was at church today".
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, 'Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'
The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, 'Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, 'It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.'
Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg.
'Hi honey, this is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?'
'No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'
After a brief pause, Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'
'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.'
Brief Pause.
'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs, and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'
'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'
A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone.
'I did it, Daddy.'
'And what happened, honey?'
'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser, and now she isn't moving at all!'
'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'
'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool.
But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'
Long Pause
Longer Pause
Even Longer Pause
Then Daddy says, 'Swimming pool? ......... Is this 486-5731?'*
'No, I think you have the wrong number.'
Giving Up Wine
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'
'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.
'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.
'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'
'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.
'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'
'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'
The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'
I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'
WineWootaholic wrote:A Democrat for five minutes
I was driving from Iowa City to Cedar Rapids the other day when a tire blew out. Checking my spare, I found that it too was flat. My only option was to flag down\a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town.
The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a van.
He yelled out the window, "Need a lift?"
"Yes, I sure do," I replied.
"You a Republican or Democrat," asked the old man.
"Republican," I replied.
"Well, you can just go to Hell," yelled the old man as he sped off.
Another guy stopped, rolled down the window, and asked me the same question.
Again, I gave the same answer, "
Republican." The driver gave me the finger and drove off..
I thought it over and decided that maybe I should change my strategy,
Since this area seemed to be overly political and there appeared to be few
The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful blonde.
She smiled seductively and asked if I was a Republican or Democrat.
"Democrat!" I shouted..
"Hop in!" replied the blonde.
Driving down the road, I couldn't help but stare at the gorgeous woman
In the seat next to me, the wind blowing through her hair, perfect breasts,
And a short skirt that continued to ride higher and higher up her thighs.
Finally, I yelled, "Please stop the car."
She immediately slammed on the brakes and as soon as the car stopped,
I jumped out. "What's the matter?" she asked.
"I can't take it anymore," I replied.
"I've only been a Democrat for five minutes and already I want to screw somebody."
two things; I have driven that road between Iowa City (GO HAWKS) and Cedar Rapids and I see your point
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears,
'Ribbit 9 Iron.'
The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, 'Ribbit 9 Iron.'
He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron.
He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, 'Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?
The frog replies, 'Ribbit Lucky frog.'
The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.
'What do you think frog?' The man asks.
'Ribbit 3 wood.'
The guy takes out a 3 wood and,
Boom! Hole in one.
The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, 'OK where to next?'
The frog replies, 'Ribbit Las Vegas.'
They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, 'OK frog, now What?'
The frog says, 'Ribbit Roulette.'
Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, 'What do you think I should bet?'
The frog replies, 'Ribbit $3000, black 6.'
Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck.
Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the Hotel. He sits the frog down and says,
'Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful.'
The frog replies,
'Ribbit Kiss me.'
He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it.
With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.
'And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton.'
A blonde is watching the news and hears that 2 Brazilian men died in a plane crash.
Jumping up in horror, she screams "Oh my God! How many is a Brazilian?!)
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, 'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?'
'We can't chew them because we've no teeth,' she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them then?'
The old lady replied, 'We just love the chocolate around them.'


text:
Prices and availability are subject to change from the time and date that you print this page.
4/2/2015 6:31:53 AM. For Customer Service, please call 800.933.9904
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Who's there?
Athena who?
Athena flying saucer.


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Intermec PB20 Mobile Receipt Printers
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One Planter Four Seasons, Create a Gorgeous Planter for Year Round Interest
Hi, I'm Shelley… a garden decorator, designer, and craftinista.
Currently I'm the manager at THE coolest little vintage nursery west of the Rockie's… where if it can hold dirt… we plant it!
Peace Love Garden
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Does the idea of making that chilly morning commute dressed in wool leave you scratching like a sheep in need of a haircut? Think again. Gone are the days of itchy wool clothing. Merino wool is not only durable, but soft and comfortable. It's the best natural material for wicking moisture away from the skin […][Read More]
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Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich
In addition to having more time to make breakfasts on the weekend I also enjoy being able to make a lunch. During the week I bring leftovers to work for lunch. On the weekend I can actually make a lunch. Recently I have been exploring sandwiches and this stop was at the philly cheese steak sandwich. At its base a steak sandwich is just steak in a bun. You can add more ingredients as desired. When I think of a steak sandwich I think of thinly sliced beef with caramelized onions, green peppers and melting cheese. While looking at steak sandwich recipes I noticed that a lot of them used cheese whiz which sounds good. I think that the next time I make a steak sandwich it will be have caramelized onions, mushrooms and cheese whiz.
1 teaspoon oil
1 onion (sliced)
1/2 green pepper (sliced)
1 clove garlic (chopped)
1 serving steak (thinly sliced)
salt and pepper to taste
1 bun
* provolone cheese
1. Heat the oil in a pan.
2. Add the onions and green peppers and saute until tender, about 6-10 minutes.
3. Add the garlic and saute until fragrant, about 30 seconds.
4. Set the onions and peppers aside.
5. Add the steak to the pan and cook until no longer pink, about 3-4 minutes.
6. Mix the vegetables into the steak.
7. Place the steak and vegetables and cheese into the bun and enjoy.
8. (optional) Place the open sandwich, with the cheese on top, under the broiler to melt the cheese.
Similar Recipes:
Grilled Roast Beef and Cheese Sandwich
Pot Roast Sandwich Smothered in Gravy with Melted Swiss Cheese and Horseradish Mayonnaise
BBQ Roast Beef and Cheddar Sandwich
Roast Beef Quesadillas
Chimichurri Steak Sandwiches with Roasted Corn and Red Pepper Salsa
Black and Blue Steak Sandwich


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A key part of QAA's role is to review how providers of higher education, such as universities and colleges, maintain their academic standards and quality, and to report on our findings.
The most recent reports that we have available for each provider are published in this section of our website.
At present, QAA does not review Massive Open Online Courses (MOOCs). For more information, please see this statement (PDF, 68KB).
Copies of older reports not published here are available on request; please contact us at email@example.com for more information.
To begin, please select the provider you are interested in from the list below.
The Quality Assurance Agency for Higher Education, Southgate House, Southgate Street, Gloucester, GL1 1UB Tel: +44 (0)1452 557000


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Where are markets going from here? Access our in-depth analysis of current investing conditions and our forecast for the period ahead. This timely report looks at key stock market drivers including market, political, and economic factors. You will learn:
Running out of money in retirement is one of the biggest risks investors face. Working your whole life to gather enough wealth for retirement, only to realize too late it's just not enough, can be devastating. This guide addresses important issues investors face in retirement, including:
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Over the past 35 years, Fisher Investments has managed portfolios for tens of thousands of investors. Learn more about how we can assist you.
(800) 587-5512
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The First Giants-Jets Game
From the WFUV Sports Archives
The first Giants-Jets game. August 17, 1969...Yale Bowl, New Haven, CT.
The Jets were coming off a Super Bowl victory and needed to prove their victory over Baltimore wasn't a fluke. The two teams and the two leagues did not like each other...and that's putting it nicely.


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If this event requires registration please fill out the information below and click on Complete Registration at the bottom of the page to register for this event.
For group registration please contact this library location at (859) 231-5500
|Introduction to Pages
Event Type: Computer Class
Age Group(s): adults
Date: 2/12/2013
Start Time: 10:00 AM
End Time: 11:30 AM
Learn to use iWork's word processing and desktop publishing program, Pages. We'll work with templates for flyers and cards, and learn to format your own document.Library: Northside Branch
Location: Digital Studio
Contact: Digital Studio Coordinator
Contact Number: 2315500
Status: Closed
|Please Note


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Jennifer Hsu : Video Producer
Jennifer Hsu produces videos about news and culture for WNYC. She is the creator of the Know Your Neighbor video series, which won ...
Email addresses are required but never displayed.
The show is a co-production of WNYC Radio and Public Radio International, in collaboration with The New York Times and WGBH Boston.
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Natural High® Pure Organic Freeze-Dried Strawberries - 12 pk.
Natural High Freeze-Dried Fruit Snacks start with Organic Fruit harvested at its peak. The freeze dry process locks in the natural fresh flavor and healthy nutrients to provide you with a delicious snack that can be enjoyed anytime-anywhere. Natural High Freeze-Dried Fruit Snacks are a great snack alternative for adults and children.
The Natural High Brand has been a leader in the convenient and lightweight freeze-dried and dehydrated camping food business since the 1980's. We are dedicated to making great tasting foods that are easy to prepare using only the highest quality freeze-dried and dehydrated ingredients. The freeze dry process removes moisture leaving all the original flavor and nutritional value intact. Our packaging consists of laminated foil pouches and Mylar inner lining providing up to a 5-year shelf life. Our production facility is U.S.D.A. approved and inspected daily to meet the highest standards. The Natural High brand represents an all-natural approach to recipes: no preservatives, no additives, and no artificial flavors or colors.
Each package contains a small desiccant packet to help keep the quality intact. It is for absorbing any ambient moisture. Please do not eat, may be thrown away after opening.
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Warranty InformationThis product is covered by the Sam's Club Member Satisfaction Guarantee.
There is no additional information available for this item.


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Designed to wick moisture away from the body and to keep you cool and dry
The use of three strategically placed fabrics make the Nova Vest perfect for a light shell on cool days. Diamond Air front blocks wind. Light Mesh Airdry panels are strategically placed for moisture evaporation. A Micromesh back is extremely ventilated and reduces heat buildup.
Often simplicity determines adaptability. Minimalist versatility is incorporated in every piece of this collection to perfectly outfit that multi-purpose athlete.
© Louis Garneau Sports Inc. 2015


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Sporty Zip Jacket 99 99
nice jacket Sleeves a bit too long. Nice to be able to roll them up. March 24, 2015
Defective zipper Zipper does not work at all. Will be taking garment to a tailor for repair or replacement. Did not save original packaging or invoice as jacket fit well, but I did not try the zipper until yesterday. Otherwise, I would return this jacket. Annoyed. December 13, 2014
Problems... The color of the jacket was not the same navy as the pants of the complete outfit - very disappointed... December 10, 2014
Sporty but at the same time feminine I bought this jacket because of the ability to cinch the waist. I like the shapely fit in a jacket because I have a mature shape body and I am short (under 5' ). I found the petite L was a little snug in the hips. I exchanged the petite L for a petite XL and am very happy. This jacket will come in handy on my upcoming trip to Central America. November 27, 2014
Can't get an Olive to match I have this set in navy, and olive. I LOVE them. I lost a little weight. I repurchased the navy and have been wearing it. I have purchased 3 jackets and slacks. I can't get the olive to match. I know it does because I have the larger size that matches. I'm going to mail it back again! If it doesn't get here soon it will be too cold to wear. November 12, 2014
Same fabric issues as pants I still use my old plum jacket sporty zip jacket but my second jacket in black has fabric issues just like the black pants. Wrinkles and odd shape out of wash. Trying again to see if the fabric problem is resolved or will send them back. October 31, 2014
Jacket is great for travel! I purchased the jacket for travel. They go with the pants, and make a nice outfit. The jacket is casual looking. Easy to clean as it is washable. October 29, 2014
Too long and boxy Jacket was too boxy to look good. Dye lot was off when paired with the pants so I returned it. Fair rating is due to the mismatch. October 16, 2014
Product:26472-Sporty Zip Jacket


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100 Years of Innovation
Well before Federation in 1901, Australians had demonstrated how innovative they were. Thousands of years ago, Indigenous Australians developed tools like fish traps, boomerangs and woomeras to assist with hunting. They lived in harmony with nature using the native flora and fauna as a source of food and medicine.
When the European settlers arrived in this harsh, isolated land, they also had to be ingenious to survive and thrive. Early inventions included the windmill, the stump-jump plough, the stripper harvester, mechanical shears, ice-making machines and even lamingtons.
1901: Federation Wheat
William Farrer released the Federation wheat strain, resistant to fungal rust disease and drought.
1901: Flotation Method of Ore Separation
The method for separating ore from rock crushings, using bubbles to float the ore to the surface, was developed by Charles Potter and Guillaume Delprat of NSW.
1905: Thrust Bearing
Anthony Mitchell invented the tilt-pad thrust bearing, which reduced friction and increased power transmitted. The technology has been used in ship building around the world and also in pumps and turbines.
1906: Surf Lifesaving Reel
Designed by Lyster Ormsby, the reel was first demonstrated at Bondi Beach.
1906: Feature Film
The Story of the Kelly Gang was the world's first feature length film.
1906: Kiwi Boot Polish
The boot polish that could restore the faded colour of brown shoes was first available for sale.
1909: Improved Sheep Shears
Aboriginal inventor, author and spokesperson, David Unaipon, patented an improved handpiece for sheep shears.
1913: Automatic Totalisator
Invented by George Julius, the tote automated betting at horse races.
1915: Aspro
While the German firm Bayer first produced aspirin, a Melbourne pharmacist George Nicholas and experimenter, Henry Woolf Smith produced a high-grade aspirin product, 'Aspro', that later took over the international market.
1918: Anthrax Vaccine
John McGarvie Smith donated his secret discovery of an anthrax vaccine to the NSW Government shortly before his death.
1922: Rotary Hoe
Cliff Howard, with help from his brother Albert built the first full-size rotary hoe cultivator. It uses energy to turn the soil directly, rather than dragging a plough behind a tractor.
1926: Heart Pacemaker
A doctor from the Crown Street Women's Hospital in Sydney, who wished to remain anonymous, invented the original pacemaker in Australia.
1928: Royal Flying Doctor Service
Reverend John Flynn was the founder of the world's first Aerial Medical Service, now known as the Royal Flying Doctor Service (RFDS). In May 1928, Dr St Vincent Welch made the first official RFDS visit.
1928: First Crossing of the Pacific
Sir Charles Kingsford Smith and his crew performed the world's first air crossing of the Pacific Ocean.
1928: Speedo Swimwear
This swimwear originated in Sydney when the MacRae Knitting Mills manufactured the company's first swimsuit, the razorback, made from silk and joined in the middle of the back. Speedo introduced the world's first nylon swimsuit in 1957.
1929: Pedal Wireless
The pedal-operated generator, connected to a wireless, was invented by Alfred Traeger.
1930: Letter Sorting Machine
Sydney GPO was the site for the first mechanised letter sorter which was developed by an engineer with the Posmaster-General's Department.
1933: Utility Vehicle
The ute, with a front like a car and rear like a truck was designed by Lewis Bandt at the Ford Motor Company in Geelong, Victoria.
1941: Penicillin production starts
Penicillin, extracted and refined by a team led by Howard Florey, was trialled successfully on humans, and went into production in time to aid casualties of World War II.
1945: Hills Hoist
This rotary clothesline with a winding mechanism allowing the frame to be raised and lowered was invented by Lance Hill of Adelaide in 1945.
1946: Shepherd Castors
George Shepherd invented strong, easily manoeuvrable dome-shaped castors for furniture. These replaced traditional pivoted wheel castors.
1947: Cloud Seeding
Scientists at CSIRO conducted the first successful cloud seeding experiments, making rain fall near Bathurst, NSW.
1950: School of the Air
The first ever radio lesson was broadcast using the transmitter at the Australian Royal Flying Doctor Base at Alice Springs.
1952: Victa Lawnmower
The Victa version of the petrol lawnmower with rotary blades was developed by Mervyn Victor Richardson, and became an Aussie icon.
1952: Atomic Absorption Spectrophotometer
Sir Alan Walsh of the CSIRO invented this instrument used for high speed chemical analysis of metallic elements.
1953: Solar Water Heater
The first prototype of a solar water heater was developed at CSIRO in Victoria.
1956: Redback Spider Antivenom
An antivenom for the bite of the redback spider developed by Dr Saul Weiner was released for use.
1957: Permanent Crease Trousers
The process of producing permanent creases in fabric was developed by Dr Arthur Farnworth of CSIRO by adding a special resin to wool fibres to change their chemical structure.
1957: A.E. Bishop Holdings Pty Ltd
This company was established by Dr Arthur Bishop, beginning his life's work as an international leader in vehicle steering innovations.
1958: Black Box Flight Recorder
Dr David Warren in Melbourne invented the first black box flight memory recorder. The unit recorded the pilot's voice and a few instrument readings.
1958: Round-the-World Airline Service
Qantas inaugurated a pioneering round-the-world airline service with two aircraft taking off from Melbourne.
1960: Plastic Spectacle Lenses
Scientific Optical Laboratories designed the world's first plastic spectacle lenses which are 60% lighter than glass lenses.
1961: Ultrasound
George Kossoff and David Robinson built the first ultrasound scanner at the ultrasonics institute in the Commonwealth Department of Health.
1964: Latex Gloves
The Ansell company had made household gloves since 1925. In 1964 they introduced the disposable latex gloves for use in surgery.
1965: Inflatable Aircraft Escape Slide
Jack Grant of Qantas invented the inflatable aircraft escape slide which can also be used as a raft on water. These slides are now standard safety equipment on all major airlines.
1965: Wiltshire Staysharp Knife
The Wiltshire Staysharp knife was invented with a sheath which sharpens the knife each time it is withdrawn.
1965: Wine Cask
Thomas Angove introduced the wine cask.
1968: Polyvalent Snake Antivenom
A snake antivenom capable of acting against the poison from most Australian snakes was developed by CSIRO.
1969: Australia Shows the First Steps on the Moon
The radio telescope in Parkes, New South Wales, received and relayed to the world the first pictures of the first moon landing.
1970: Microsurgery Pioneered
Professor Earl Owen from Sydney pioneered microsurgery techniques by performing the first microsurgery operation when he rejoined an amputated index finger.
1972: Orbital Internal Combustion Engine
The orbital internal combustion engine was developed by engineer Ralph Sarich of Perth, Western Australia.
1972: Rowcar
Rotary Club members designed a small four-wheeled vehicle, with hand propulsion and steering, to give mobility to disabled and incapacitated children.
1973: Pop Top Can
Sir Ian McLennan of BHP came up with the idea of press-buttons where the button is hinged to the can and does not cause a litter problem.
1973: In-vitro Fertilisation
The world's first pregnancy using IVF technology was reported from Monash Medical Centre.
1974: Super Sopper
Sydney inventor Gordon Withnall invented this device which soaks up water from wet sportsgrounds.
CSIRO developed partially stabilised zirconia; an extremely tough ceramic with a wide range of industrial applications.
1975: Interscan
An aircraft approach and landing guidance system using microwaves was successfully tested at Tullamarine Airport, Melbourne.
1976: Electronic Ignition System
A silicon-chip ignition system for small engines in lawnmowers and chainsaws was developed by the Notarus brothers in Sydney.
1978: Synroc
Professor Ted Ringwood led a team at the Australian National University to develop synthetic rock to contain high-level nuclear waste with safety.
1979: Bionic Ear
The cochlear implant, designed to help the hearing impaired and profoundly deaf, was invented by Professor Graeme Clark of the University of Melbourne.
1979: Race Cam
A lightweight, fixed camera used in car racing and other sports broadcasts was developed by Australian engineer, Geoff Healey.
1979: Cool Lightweight Wool Fabrics
The technique for spinning lightweight wool was invented at CSIRO.
1981: Bodyguard Power Protector
Gerard Industries developed a power point with an inbuilt electronic circuit that cuts the power if there is a power leakage and virtually eliminates the chance of electric shock.
1983: Footrot Vaccine
CSIRO produced a vaccine against footrot using genetic engineering techniques.
1983: Winged Keel
Australia II won the America's Cup in part due to the revolutionary winged keel designed by Ben Lexcen.
1984: In-vitro Fertilisation
The first frozen embryo baby was born in Melbourne using a technique developed by Dr Alan Trounsen and Dr Linda Mohr.
1985: World's Most Efficient Solar Cells
Dr Stuart Wenham and Professor Martin Green from the University of New South Wales produced the world's first 20% efficient solar cell.
1985: Dynasphere Lightning Protection
A Tasmanian company, Global Lightning Technologies, developed the Dynasphere lightning terminal. The company exports its products to over 30 countries.
1985: Broncostat
The oral vaccine to prevent bronchitis, was developed by Professor Robert Clancy at the University of Newcastle. It reduces attacks of acute bronchitis by up to 90%.
1986: Gene Shears
The discovery of gene shears – molecules used to prevent harmful and unwanted genes in plants and animals – was made by CSIRO scientists, Dr Wayne Gerlach and Dr Jim Haseloff.
1987: Wave Piercing Catamaran
Ship builder Incat Australia Pty Ltd designed a low buoyancy bow which helps the catamaran pierce through waves, resulting in a faster and smoother journey.
1988: Plastic Banknotes
CSIRO and Note Printing Australia developed the world's first polymer banknote made from tough flexible polypropylene plastics. These notes last longer and are more difficult to counterfeit than paper money.
1988: Biological Pesticides
The world's first non-chemical biological pesticide was invented at the University of Adelaide.
1990: Reading Machine for the Blind
Milan Hudecek of Melbourne invented the world's first reading machine for the blind.
1991: Plastic Rod Bone Repair
The technique of using plastic rods in place of metal pins and screws was developed by Dr Michael Ryan and Dr Stephen Ruff at Sydney's North Shore Hospital.
1991: Biodegradable Marine Degreaser
The world's first biodegradable marine degreaser, made from naturally-occurring marine oils, was developed by the CSIRO and Beku Environmental Products Ltd.
1992: Multi-focal Contact Lens
The world's first multi-focal contact lenses were invented by optical research scientist, Stephen Newman of QLD.
1993: Underwater Computer
Bruce Macdonald at the Australian Institute of Marine Science developed the world's first underwater computer with a multi-button hand-held keypad that mimics a conventional keyboard.
1994: Sportswool
CSIRO developed a new bi–layer fabric consisting of wool and polyester, ideal for sportswear because the fabric allows rapid dissipation of moisture.
1995: Calicivirus
CSIRO developed this rabbit–specific virus that resulted in the number of rabbits declining up to 8% in some areas of Australia.
1996: Australian in Space
Dr Andy Thomas completed his first mission in space aboard the NASA Space Shuttle Endeavour. In 1998 he spent 141 days aboard the Russian Mir Space Station.
1996: Relenza
The world's first anti-influenza drug was developed by the Victorian College of Pharmacy, Monash University and Biota Holdings. In 2000, the drug was approved for release in Australia, Europe and the USA.
1998: Hybrid Toilet
A lightweight, fully–enclosed toilet system which requires no water and minimal maintenance was released for sale.
1998: Skin Polarprobe
Polartechnics Ltd, the Sydney Melanoma Unit and CSIRO developed the Solarscan™, a device to scan the skin and quickly assess sunspots to determine if they are melanomas.
1999: Night and Day Contact Lenses
The Cooperative Research Centre for Eye Research and Technology developed this contact lens made of revolutionary material capable of transmitting six times more oxygen to the eye, allowing extended wear for up to 30 days and nights.
2000: Biodegradable Packaging
The Cooperative Research Centre for International Food Manufacture and Packaging Science developed new biodegradable packaging materials based on starch.
How did these benefit the world?
Who owns these innovations now?


text:
Contact Sports Desk: Call: 603-516-2949 / E-mail: email@example.com
Coe-Brown girls track going for glory
Friday, February 1, 2013
DOVER — The Coe-Brown Northwood Academy girls are looking for the trifecta.
"We just have a well-balanced, very experienced team that has been in this situation before," Zink-Mailloux said.
OR sprinter Dominique Twombley is seeded third in the 55 dash. Doody, who was a sprinter in middle school, and Twombley are freshmen.
Jan Bartos is a serious contender in the boys 55 dash
Newmarket's Hannah Wood is seeded fourth in the girls 55 dash.


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Written by Dave Panske Monday, 03 March 2014 14:36
February 23- N.E.W. DIRT presented their 2013 Seymour Speedway Awards Sunday afternoon during the Daytona 500 at Frank's Place on Main Street in Seymour. A nice crowd turned out to watch the race and celebrate the 30th Anniversary of racing by the club in Seymour.
The top 10 drivers in each of the weekly divisions received trophies and Rookies were also presented plaques. The top 3 FASTRACK Late Model drivers were also presented awards.
N.E.W. DIRT would like to thank the following people and sponsors for making the program a success.
Steve Parsons and Dave Panske presented all of the trophies and awards on behalf of N.E.W. DIRT. Jonny's Racing Parts awarded the IMCA Modified, Stock Car, Sport Mod and Street Stock drivers with Hoosier Champions jackets. Panske Enterprises awarded jackets to the 4 Cylinder and late model divisions. Frank's Place for the hospitality of hosting the program for the second straight year.
Awards were presented to:
IMCA MODIFIED: 2 time champion - Jason Czarapata
2nd Jay Matthias
3rd Troy Jerovetz
4th Jerry Wilinski
5th Marcus Yarie
6th Jamie Schmidt
7th Eric Arneson
8th Brad Lautenbach
9th Mike Wedelstadt
10th Kurt Moeller
Rookie - Troy Jerovetz
IMCA STOCK CARS: 1ST TIME Champion - John Heinz
2nd Rod Snellenberger
3rd Jeremy Wiitala
4th Barry Van Straten
5th Kyle Frederick
6th Bill Kelsey
7th Brandon Czarapata
8th Chas Van Ooyen, Jr
9th Devon Snellenberger
10th Brandon Gagnon
Rookie - Travis Springstroh
IMCA SPORT MODS:1ST Time Champion - Cody Hokenstad
2nd Jeremy Cota
3rd J.J. Andersen
4th Tracy Wassenberg
5th Russell Franks
6th Beau Handschke
7th Tyler Wilson
8th Robby Thiel
9th Kevin Bethke
10th Rob Charapata
Rookie - Beau Handschke
STREET STOCKS: 1ST Time Champion - Jon Ashcraft
2nd Mert Summers
3rd Lexi Ashcraft
4th Alan Schluetter
5th Ryan Blank
6th Jerry Winkler
7th Jeff Dorschner
8th Patty Winkler
9th Derek Lecker
10TH Frank Groeschel
Rookie – George Tabalske
4 CYLINDER: 2 TIME Champion – Calvin Stueck
2nd Tyler Hungerford
3rd Carl King
4th Justin Nooyen
5th Brandon Kaye
6th Taylor Becher
7th Brad Wedde
8th Andrew Meyerhofer
9th Brad Prahl
10th Dalton Nelson
Rookie – Justin Nooyen
FASTRAK LATE MODELS: 1st Time Champion – Jeff Curtin
2nd Jeff Wickershiem
3rd Wayne Block
Planning now continues for the fast approaching 31st season scheduled to begin on Saturday April 5th with the annual Spring Thaw event. WDLMA Late Models will be joined by the regular divisions - IMCA Modifieds, Stock Cars, Sport Mods, Street Stocks and 4 Cylinders. The full bodied Grand Nationals will also be in hand.
This will be the first race of the season and has Rain dates for Sunday April 6, or the following week, Saturday or Sunday April 12 or 13. This gives 4 chances to open the northeastern Wisconsin Racing season.
Hopefully, the harsh winter will lose its hold and allow everyone a much needed break.


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Mount Sinai Hospital offers a safe, caring and comfortable environment for welcoming your new baby into the world. Our compassionate staff and wide range of programs and support services help address your needs before, during and after pregnancy. The care team is prepared for all types of pregnancies from routine births to high risk deliveries including immediate access to a Level III Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Count on us to be there for you, every step of the way.
OB Ultrasound
Accredited by the American Institute of Ultrasound in Medicine, our Ultrasound Department features advanced equipment and expertise. Our team of experts performs these painless exams each day and is available to answer your questions. Be sure to ask your doctor to refer you to Mount Sinai Hospital and write you a prescription for your ultrasound appointment.
To schedule an appointment please call 773-257-2273
Childbirth Education Classes
Join us for free Childbirth Education Classes at Mount Sinai Hospital and discover the miracle of motherhood. You will learn about the stages of pregnancy, tips on staying healthy, take a tour of our facilities and much more. One of our friendly caregivers will host each class.
Classes in English:
- Wednesdays 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.
- Saturdays 10 a.m. to 12 p.m.
Classes in Spanish:
- Saturdays from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m.
To register or for more information place call 773-257-2622
Pre-register for Your Delivery
Be sure to talk with your doctor or midwife to get pre-registered for your delivery at Mount Sinai Hospital. By pre-registering, you avoid having to complete a lot of paperwork while you are in labor. All you will need to do is present a picture ID, sign a consent form and the Registrar will take care of the rest.
Labor and Delivery
Mount Sinai Hospital strives to make your delivery as comfortable, healthy and safe as possible with many great features:
- Comfortable and spacious private rooms for delivery
- Operating rooms available for caesarian sections
- Friendly staff of specially-trained nurses
- Bilingual staff and Interpretive Services including Video Remote Interpreting (VRI)
- Onsite pediatrician that will visit your baby on the day of birth and the next day
- Onsite pain management by our experienced anesthesiologists
- Onsite security system
- Several private post-partum rooms available
You'll also enjoy these extra benefits:
- Newborn TV Channel dedicated to new moms. Learn about healthy sleeping for mom and baby, car seat safety, diaper changing and more.
- We allow sibling visits in the Mother-Baby Unit.
- Significant others get a special access pass to your room (with mom's permission).
- We welcome community physicians, midwives and doula.
For high-risk pregnancies or when unexpected circumstances arise, our Level III NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) is one of a few hospitals in the Chicago area offering the highest level of care available for newborns – and it's just steps from the delivery room.
After Your Baby is Born
You will be transferred to one of our post-partum rooms to relax, spend time with your new baby and enjoy a special celebration meal.
On the day your baby is born, a pediatrician will come see you and your baby to make sure you are both healthy. Your pediatrician will visit again the following day for a quick check-up. A member of our experienced staff will also be on hand to give you some great tips and ideas on bonding with your baby.
Transition Home
Before you leave Mount Sinai Hospital, we will work with you to provide exactly what you need for your transition home.
The day you leave the hospital, you'll meet with a nurse who will give you discharge instructions and answer your questions on how to care for your baby and yourself at home. We will help you schedule your follow-up appointment and that you have selected a doctor for your baby.We can also arrange to drive you and your new baby home if you live within our transportation boundaries of North Avenue to the north, 63rd Street to the south, Halsted on the east and Austin to our west.


text: Packed with smarts, full of fun and ready for the daily adventures of parenting, we've created a line of products to help you and your little ones grow together. They've all been thoughtfully designed and smartly styled, from tip to toe, to make this whole parenting thing less of a job and more of a joy. Here's to happy!


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- IPv6 support
- XMPP server
- SMTP server
- POP/IMAP server
Phoronix: CodeLathe TonidoPlug
Last month we reviewed the Pogoplug, which was an interesting network attached storage (NAS) device that ran Linux and was unique compared to other devices on the market. Today we are reviewing a device similar to this and that is the TonidoPlug. The TonidoPlug is a low-power home server that runs the open-source Tondio software that runs Linux and costs only $99 USD.
- IPv6 support
- XMPP server
- SMTP server
- POP/IMAP server
This is just so tiny! By this rate, in a few years computers will come in the form of stamps
Still waiting for someone to make one of these things with two ethernet ports, it'd give them a whole new range of uses...
I've had a TonidoPlug for a few months now and I really like the thing. To be honest, I ended up removing their software pretty quickly and just have it as a household server. It runs squeezecenter nicely for having house-wide music, it backs up my desktop machines and serves photos. I also have it grabbing caller-id data from my PAP2 and displaying it on the squeezeboxes. Fun toy :-).
I did try and have it run pyTivo to serve video to my tivo, but it was only able to encode about 4-5 FPS with ffmpeg. Go figure :-).
Gary Godfrey
Austin, TX
...for these Marvell based devices ? I am tired of seeing simple reviews of these devices which do not even include basic NAS performance information ... Look at the size, ports, open source etc.
I had high hopes from Phoronix especially as the review states the Phoronix test suite runs but yet again no metrics !


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Swarovski North America Ltd.
29 W. 57th St., 9th Fl.
New York,
(212) 601-2582
(212) 935-6112
Feature Galleries
Taking outdoor to new heights: Sconces stretch to fit today's taller architecture.
It's all about that base as we take a peek at new introductions from the largest buying event for portables, April 18-23.
Throw out the rule book on mixing multiple metal finishes in the same environment. New fixtures defy the former faux pas by combining...
We asked manufacturers for the ceiling fan that best represents their 2015 design direction; all signs point to improved technology on...


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Are You Good to Go?
October 19, 2009
In the U.S. military, servicemembers ask each other this question to make sure that they're ready and able to accomplish the mission at hand. If someone is "good to go," then they are alert, accountable, and prepared to do their job. Read More »4 Comments
Word of the Day: "AIDS"
October 15, 2009
AIDS stands for acquired immunodeficiency syndrome. It's a disease caused by the HIV virus, which breaks down the body's immune system, or our natural defenses against disease. Read More »0 Comments
Who Gets Fooled by Flavors?
October 13, 2009
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (known by most people as the "FDA") has banned cigarettes with flavors that make them taste like fruit, candy, or clove. Read More »46 Comments
Degrassi on Teen Nick
October 10, 2009
Real Teens Ask: Do Many Kids in High School Do Drugs?
October 05, 2009
Questions about drugs? Lots of teens are asking. That's why each year NIDA scientists spend a day chatting online with high school students and answering their questions. Read More »72 Comments