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The Dagger
Davidson proving doubters wrong as it moves into first place in A-10
Kyle Ringo at The Dagger9 hrs agoDavidson coach Bob McKillop is giving Dayton's Archie Miller a run for his money when it comes to the best coaching job of the season in the A-10.
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The award is likely to go to Miller, who had to overcome losing his two best big men, but McKillop deserves some consideration with the remarkable job he has done guiding the Wildcats to within one win of at least a share of the A-10 regular season title in their first season in the conference.
Davidson dominated VCU, the team expected to win the conference back in the preseason, on Thursday with hot shooting and strong guard play handling VCU's havoc in a 82-55 win.
The Wildcats are once again looking like that mid-major team no one is going to want to see in the postseason.
Delaware State senior erupts for 33 points, 30 rebounds
Jeff Eisenberg at The Dagger9 hrs agoThe headline on Delaware State's athletics site labeled Kendall Gray's performance Thursday night a "monster game."
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Even that isn't doing it justice.
The 6-foot-10 senior became only the fourth Division I player since 1980 to tally 30 or more rebounds in a single game. He played all 40 minutes and finished with 33 points and 30 rebounds in Delaware State's 104-92 victory over Coppin State.
The last player to pull down 30 or more rebounds in the same game is Arkansas-Little Rock forward Rashad Jones-Jennings, who had 30 in a victory against Arkansas-Pine Bluff in Dec. 2005. Fresno State's Larry Abney had 35 in a Feb. 2000 loss to SMU and Southern's Jervaughn Scales had 32 in a Feb. 1994 victory over Grambling State.
Dunk City will not return to the NCAA tournament this March
Jeff Eisenberg at The Dagger11 hrs agoBernard Thompson's college career ended Thursday night in the cruelest fashion imaginable.
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The Florida Gulf Coast senior missed the potential game-tying free throw with 1.4 seconds left in the Atlantic Sun semifinals, condemning the second-seeded Eagles to a heartbreaking 63-62 loss to third-seeded South Carolina Upstate.
FGCU trailed by three points in the dying seconds of regulation when Thompson zoomed up court and drew a foul attempting a top of the key 3-pointer. Thompson calmly made the first two foul shots for his 24th and 25th points of the night, but his third attempt was inches long and caromed off the back rim as time expired.
The missed free throw sent South Carolina Upstate to the Atlantic Sun title game to face top-seeded North Florida. It also ensured FGCU will not have a chance to reenact its swashbuckling 2013 NCAA tournament run when it upset Georgetown and San Diego State, earned the moniker 'Dunk City' and became the first No. 15 seed to reach the Sweet 16.
Bryant's Joe O'Shea delivers March's first buzzer beater
Jeff Eisenberg at The Dagger1 day agoIf March doesn't truly become March until the first postseason buzzer beater drops, then consider this the official start of college basketball's most beloved month.
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Third-seeded Bryant trailed sixth-seeded Sacred Heart by three points in the dying seconds of Wednesday night's Northeast Conference quarterfinal when Dan Garvin corralled the rebound of a Dyami Starks missed 3-pointer and saved it to Joe O'Shea. In desperation, the 6-foot-4 senior sank an off-balance 3-pointer from the left of the top of the key as the buzzer sounded, forcing overtime and enabling Bryant to escape with a 91-85 victory after the second extra session.
Bubble breakdown: LSU's latest bad loss damages two teams
Jeff Eisenberg at The Dagger1 day agoWith less than two weeks remaining until Selection Sunday, the NCAA tournament bubble is beginning to take shape. Bubble Breakdown is the Dagger's daily look at the results that impact who's in and who's out.
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LSU's latest loss to a lesser-talented team damaged more than its chances of securing an at-large bid.
By falling 78-63 at home against rebuilding Tennessee on Wednesday night, the Tigers also may have torpedoed the hopes of an SEC rival.
The only RPI top 75 victories Texas A&M (20-9, 11-6) has this season came via a pair of victories over LSU during SEC play. That sweep could have been meaningful for the Aggies except the underachieving Tigers have fallen back to the bubble with bad league losses against Missouri, Auburn, Mississippi State and now Tennessee.
Tony Romo watches Duke beat Wake Forest amid the Cameron Crazies
Kyle Ringo at The Dagger1 day agoDallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo was blamed by many Duke basketball fans last year for jinxing the Blue Devils, who lost to 14th-seeded Mercer in the NCAA tournament.
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Romo had visited Duke weeks before the tournament and some believed his habit of early exits from the NFL playoffs rubbed off on the Blue Devils.
But there was Romo Wednesday night at Cameron Indoor Stadium amongst the Cameron Crazies cheering on the Blue Devils as they annhilated Wake Forest 94-51. The third-ranked Blue Devils won their 27th game with Romo looking on and look to be on their way to a No. 1 seed in the NCAA tournament.
Star-crossed Penn State is the victim of a bafflingly bad foul call
Jeff Eisenberg at The Dagger1 day agoAt the end of a star-crossed season in which it has lost 10 conference games by nine or fewer points, Penn State received another ill-timed dose of misfortune Wednesday night.
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The Nittany Lions were the victim of one of the most baffling foul calls of the season early in their 77-67 loss to Ohio State.
As senior forward Ross Travis was preparing to finish a fast break with an uncontested dunk, teammate D.J. Newbill was trailing the play. Somehow Newbill was whistled for an offensive foul negating the dunk even though, if anything, Ohio State forward Amir Williams shoved him out of the way.
That the call went against Newbill on senior night was especially cruel. The Penn State guard is already one of the nation's most unappreciated stars because he averages 20.4 points per game on a below-the-radar team that's 3-13 in the Big Ten and has no other double-digit scorers.
Remembering Hank Gathers on the 25th anniversary of his death
Jeff Eisenberg at The Dagger1 day agoPicture Hank Gathers on the basketball court, and one of the first things you'll inevitably remember is how strong he was.
The chiseled 6-foot-7 former Loyola Marymount star was a scoring and rebounding machine around the rim. He was the self-proclaimed strongest man in America, a scorer so automatic he earned the nickname "Hank the Bank," a future NBA star whose coach referred to him as a "walking thunderbolt."
Those qualities were part of the reason Gathers' death 25 years ago today was so sad and so shocking. On March 4, 1990, a 23-year-old man who was outwardly invincible slammed home a long lob pass during a game against Portland, then stumbled, collapsed and tragically never got up.
The death of Gathers still evokes strong feelings from the six-year-old son who barely got to know his dad and from the teammates who famously honored him with a stunning Elite Eight run that began just days after his death. They spoke to Yahoo Sports last year for the above video about Gathers' legacy and the 1990 NCAA tournament run.
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Indiana's season is teetering after seventh loss in 11 games
Jeff Eisenberg at The Dagger1 day agoThanks to an impressive list of quality wins that includes SMU, Butler, Maryland and Ohio State, Indiana has probably accomplished enough already this season to make the NCAA tournament without winning another game.
The Hoosiers appear unwisely hell-bent on testing that theory.
A non-competitive 77-63 home loss against Iowa on Tuesday night was Indiana's seventh loss in 11 games since cracking the national rankings on the morning of Jan. 23. All four of the Hoosiers' victories came over non-NCAA tournament contenders and the most recent three losses were home games against Purdue and the Hawkeyes and a road game at Northwestern.
Indiana (19-11, 9-8) still appears in virtually every mock bracket in spite of that stretch, but the Hoosiers would certainly be playing with fire if they lost their regular season finale against Michigan State on Saturday and again early in the Big Ten tournament. Although four victories against surefire NCAA tournament teams compares well with other bubble teams, Indiana's non-league strength of schedule was awful and it hasn't exactly left the strongest impression on the committee recently.
Three potential bid thieves bubble teams should dread
Jeff Eisenberg at The Dagger1 day agoWhen Saint Joseph's went from the fringes of the NCAA tournament picture to winning the Atlantic 10 tournament last March, it was bad news for bubble teams hoping to hear their names called on Selection Sunday.
The Hawks claimed an automatic NCAA tournament bid, forcing teams with stronger profiles from their league into the at-large pool and reducing the number of spots available to bubble teams by one.
This March, there will surely be an interloper or two that uses an unexpected league tournament run to make its way into the NCAA tournament field this season. Here's a look at some potential bid thieves that fans of potential bubble teams should watch out for during the next two weeks of conference tournament action.


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24 Thanksgiving Dinner Recipes and Fall Craft Projects
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Vintage Doily Pumpkins
These Vintage Doily Pumpkins from Mitzi Curi are the perfect way to decorate for the fall. Decoupaged with vintage lace doilies in various colors, this no carve pumpkin decorating idea is great for weddings, Thanksgiving, and even Halloween. You can use some black lace to add a more festive Halloween touch, or dye crocheted doilies various fall colors for a Thanksgiving centerpiece that's sure to impress all your guests.
- Vintage doilies in shades of white, cream, and ecru
- Dried real gourds or craft store faux pumpkins and gourds
- Mod Podge for Fabric
- Paintbrush or foam brush
- Spray paint in an off-white or ivory
- Tin foil
- Wax paper
The only prep work I did prior to painting was covering the gourd stems with tin foil.
A couple light coats of paint with drying time in between was adequate to give the pumpkins an even color.
I selected just the right doilies to fit each pumpkin. I cut some of them apart into smaller shapes that were easier to fit onto the pumpkin. For the two small pumpkins, I just used one whole doily which I slipped over the stem to create a slightly different look.
I usually cover my work table with wax paper when I work with Mod Podge. I followed the directions on the bottle when applying the Fabric Mod Podge to the doilies.
- After coating one side of the doilies, place them on the pumpkin and tap all the edges down with your fingers. Once the pieces are adhered to the pumpkins, wait for two hours while the initial coat dries. Then a topcoat of Mod Podge can be applied to the entire piece.
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subset: commoncrawl


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Lives in
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Viramati: Great if the IBIS was reliable!! My A7II IBIS mechanism broke down after 3 weeks use and the camera has been with Sony now for over 3 weeks and they still don't have the part to fix it. Not fantastic
My Supplier has actually been very good and have given me a loan A7 and did offer to replace with a new A7II but Sony initially told me that their had been a production issue and my dealer only had another camera from the first batch they received and I preferred the idea of the repair
Great if the IBIS was reliable!! My A7II IBIS mechanism broke down after 3 weeks use and the camera has been with Sony now for over 3 weeks and they still don't have the part to fix it. Not fantastic
So having checked out my A7 and A7s I see the A7s already has an all metal mount which probably explains why one of my adaptors seems to be a much tighter fit on the A7s. I suppose over a long period of time the plastic mount could wear after a lot of lens changes but for the moment I will leave well alone
I have the A7 and A7s and used to have a 2nd A7 and have never had any problem with any lens mounted on them. I am surprised the DPR advertise this product in this way. Also a good way to invalidate your warranty
Almost beats the leica 'Frankenfinder' for ugliness.
higher iso. great
better DR. Great
12mp. usable
Video is of no interest to me.
Will have to see what it costs
I can only cry at the suffering of the world.
Om Mani Padme Hum. May the great Avalokitesvara, Bodhisattva of Compassion watch over her , her family and all beings lost in the mire of greed, hatred and delusion. May her pictures help to bring an end to all suffering. Thank you for all you gave us
April 1
Sounds like a good time to buy a 2nd hand D600, free lifetime warranty on the shutter!!! and they are going cheaper because of this issue
Hwirt: Excellent lens that is ideally suited to the compact A7/A7r, not cheap but as usual you get what you pay for.
no get the CV 35/1.2 V2 which works very well on the A7 unlike the summilux
yabokkie: > the sony-haters that the ZA lens have NOTHING to do with zeiss
they are bad by saying ZA lenses have everything to do with Sony?
praise Sony if a lens is good, blame Sony if it's not.
nothing to do with Zeiss who got their dirty money.
What is the matter with you?
Viramati: I have this lens on the A7 and I will so only one thing 'Stunning', equals and and probabaly betters the leica summilux 50 asph on the leica M (240)
Expensive!!!! the Leica costs £2700 so it is cheap by comparison
of course it is relevant as the leica M an the 50 lux are the nearest equivalent in size and performance and both are the only FF mirror-less cameras on the market. AS I own both I do feel that I can make a comparison.
I have this lens on the A7 and I will so only one thing 'Stunning', equals and and probabaly betters the leica summilux 50 asph on the leica M (240)
Expensive!!!! the Leica costs £2700 so it is cheap by comparison
Sannaborjeson: Dpreview forgot to mention it's shutter sound.
I own a7r and the shutter sound is just horrible. Can't believe Sony engineers managed to make it that loud without using gunpowder.
The A7 has a different shutter and is a lot quieter as it has an electronic first shutter
Viramati: impressive. If only it was FF I would leap on it
no it may not be magic but it is different for the reasons I gave above. the main ones being the difference in DOF and POV that you get from different sensor sizes it is nothing to do with IQ or pixel count. If fuji had made an 18mm lens that behaved exactly like a 28mm lens on FF I may well have stuck with the fuji and sold my Leica M and saved myself a load of money
forpetessake: Fascination with retro will come to an end as soon as manufacturers find out that their new cameras are not selling any better than their predecessors.
The fake pentaprism on mirrorless camera is like a saddle on a cow. The 30 y.o. controls is a dead evolutionary branch, discarded in DSLRs many years ago. Fuji would have better return on investment if they finally made a good grip, which wouldn't require attachments, and touch screen LCD wouldn't hurt either.
It is not a matter of being retro as actually for some of us working photographers we find it more intuitive and a lot quicker to use analog type controls. I can see at a glance and change all my settings in a way that is a lot easier than doing it through a display. But hey we are all different with different needs
Viramati: impressive. If only it was FF I would leap on it
My working cameras are now the leica M and Sony A7. I also have the X-pro1 and fuji 35 and 14mm lenses. I am not sure that I agree that the A7 is a study in the ridiculous. I would like it to have the fuji and leica analogue controls but have to say that I find the A7 has no shutter lag (can't speak for the R) the menus are fine once customised. EVF is fine but then I use the native FE lenses. I love the fuji with the 35 (50) and 14mm (21) lenses but the 18mm (or 28mm equivalent) lens just distorted to much for my work (when shooting people the actual 18mm focal length exaggerates foreground perspective) and as the 28 is one of the prime focal lengths I use this was a real problem for me on a crop sensor. Also it is hard to get subject separation on the wide end with a crop sensor on the other hand crop sensors can be great of landscape work giving you more DOF. So it is not that I need FF because 'bigger is better' it is for distant working reasons
impressive. If only it was FF I would leap on it
The A7 along with the FE55 and 35 lenses is an awesome package for it's money and size. You really need to take some time to set the camera up and even after a couple of months I am still tweaking the settings and I can understand that a reviewer won't spend the time doing this. Yes the jpegs are not good at high iso but I only shoot RAW and am very happy with the high iso output. autofocus on the 55 can be a little sluggish in low light but that is really the only downside I can think of. I do miss not being able to see aperture and shutter speeds in an analogue way as I can on my leica M and fuji Xpro-1 but I can live with that (leica is mainly used for street work precisely for this reason). battery life is not good but hey it is a small camera and I just have to carry a couple of spares so no real problem. I do believe that most of the issues I have with the camera could be sorted with firmware updates
Anyway the A7 is a definite keeper for me and is now part of my working setup
Charlie Lab: Good to finally have a full review up. I tend to agree that the "cons" were weighted more that I would have done, but overall a pretty fair assessment. I like what Sony has done with the A7/A7R and if I were buying a new camera today, it would be one of these. Not perfect, but very good for my style.
GREAT for landscape & street photography, natural light portraits, & using older manual-focus lenses. The accuracy of CDAF focus should be noted in addition to the slower focus compared to PDAF. Small/light weight FF such a huge plus.
NOT GREAT for fast action or sophisticated flash work. Limited glass selection means it is (temporarily) limited in native lens use.
I appreciate that the reviewers did not like the "feel" of the camera - as shown by the lowest score in "ergonomics and handling" - but also recognize this is the most subjective of sections, and the most customizable.
Overall, Sony deserves to be applauded for innovation, this pushes the art of Photography forward.
after using a Leica M the ergonomics of the A& are like being in heaven at least as far as the grip is concerned


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Buster Olney: Philadelphia Phillies
That was back before the July 31 trade deadline of 2014, when Hamels
Where Phillies can make a bold move
There are more.
Only Aroldis Chapman, Kelvin Herrera and the Reds' Jumbo Diaz have had a higher average fastball velocity than Giles' 97.1 mph.
He has allowed only four runs in 28⅓ innings. He has allowed one homer. Opposing hitters have a .541 OPS against him. Three baserunners have tried to steal against him, and all three have been thrown out. He has faced 60 right-handed hitters this season and struck out 26, with only three walks. Among relievers with at least 20 innings, only six have a better ratio of strikeouts to walks than Giles, whose mark is 6.83. He has a strikeout rate that places him in the neighborhood of Kimbrel and Dellin Betances, as David Murphy writes.
Giles has been so overpowering, so effective, that his presence has provided an opportunity for Phillies GM Ruben Amaro to turn Jonathan Papelbon
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This is what's happening in the first days of August, executives say, as the first wave of players passes through waivers. Many teams are aggressively making claims on players for reasons attached to their respective circumstances, and if you are at the back of the waiver-claiming line in each league -- if you are the Athletics -- you are left with a choice of Ryan Howard or Prince Fielder, should you choose to make a move. Good luck with that.
It's not only about trying to get better for this year, and the claims are being made by non-contenders as well as contenders, executives report.
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Valuing Phillies' options proving difficult
Lee is guaranteed to make $48 million through the end of the 2015 season -- that's $48 million for the next 14 months -- because of the $12.5 million buyout attached to a vesting option for 2016.
Beyond that, rival officials are wary of some of the red flags raised with Lee's time lost to an elbow injury this summer. He has been a horse throughout his career, all but free of arm problems, but with him having spent more than two months on the disabled list and having mentioned along the way that he didn't feel completely right, some evaluators are wary of a persistent problem.
But with or without arm trouble, Lee's value is much affected by his contract.
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Time for the Phillies to turn the page
The fans saw the Phillies win the World Series in 2008 and field the best regular-season team in 2011, but then the team fell back to .500 in 2012 and won just 73 games last season.
At the current pace, Philadelphia will win just 72 games this season, which is an extraordinary failure, given the amount of money the team has invested. With the problems of the Boston Red Sox, the New York Yankees and the Phillies -- three teams with massive payrolls -- 2014 is shaping up to be like a baseball version of the banking industry. Too big to fail, indeed.
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But the quandary faced by these two teams is not really the same.
If Tampa Bay decides to take players into the market, they could dangle David Price, a former Cy Young winner who has another 1.5 seasons before becoming eligible for free agency. Price might not have as much trade value as a casual fan might think, but he's got value, and there would be serious interest.
Whatever they get for Price, whether they deal him in July or in the offseason, the Rays will add those young players to Alex Cobb and Chris Archer and Wil Myers. They will reload and move ahead.
A Phillies sell-off, on the other hand, might actually be bleaker than how they're playing now, because they don't really have movable pieces, and there really isn't a core they'd be adding to.
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"Chase Utley," he said, and went on to describe how Utley is getting to low pitches in a way he hadn't for a few years, in how he's driving the ball, in how he's making better contact.
Utley missed 216 games from 2010 through 2013, or almost 1.5 full seasons, and by the spring of 2012 he looked as if might never get back to being what he had been in his prime -- an All-Star in five straight seasons, someone who finished in the top 10 in the NL MVP voting three times.
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Hanley Ramirez has pitchers figured out
"None," he said Saturday as he waited his turn in batting practice.
He does not care to know the identity of the opponent's starting pitcher, Ramirez said, until he is preparing for his first at-bat -- and even then, as he watches the pitcher throw to the first batters of the game, what Ramirez only wants to know is how hard the pitcher is throwing, and how much his fastball moves.
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From Tim Rohan's story:
The Mets are often asked what reasons they have to be optimistic. Lately, their unequivocal response has been starting pitching. It is their obvious strength, now and for the future. They consider Matt Harvey, Zack Wheeler, Noah Syndergaard and Rafael Montero precious assets. The Mets plan to be cautious with them, bring them along at the right pace and eventually ride them to relevance.
Much depends on how the Mets develop these promising pitchers.
That was why it seemed particularly concerning when the Mets announced Tuesday that Bobby Parnell, their closer, had a partly torn ulnar collateral ligament. Parnell will try rehabilitation to avoid Tommy John surgery, but if he has the operation, he will be the third Mets pitcher to have it in about nine months, following Jeremy Hefner and Harvey. Jenrry Mejia had it in 2011.
Every case is different, but general manager Sandy Alderson indicated that the Mets would review how they handled pitchers and their rehabilitation programs. He called the pitching injuries an "industrywide problem." Several top-flight pitchers had the operation during spring training this year, including the Atlanta Braves' Kris Medlen and Brandon Beachy, who each had it for a second time.
"It's something we constantly look at," Alderson said Wednesday. "But I don't think we have -- or the industry has -- any solid answers. That's for sure."
Alderson speaks the essential truth: The industry has been trying to find solid answers and they don't have much to show for it. They've been constructing pitch counts and innings limits and adhering to them closely, doing everything they can to develop pitchers while protecting them at the same time, and pitchers continue to break down.
With the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, it's possible that the constricted pitch counts have made little to no difference. With the benefit of hindsight, it's possible that the innings limits have made little to no difference.
The one conclusion that a lot of general managers have reached is that there is no one-size-fits-all set of rules, no magic formula.
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Sandberg sending a message with Rollins
What didn't come across, apparently, is how competitive Sandberg is, a trait that has quickly become abundantly clear in his time as the Phillies' manager, because he seems ready to tackle just about any challenge -- like how to handle aging stars.
The window for contending for the group of Phillies' stars who won the World Series in 2008 is either closed or almost closed.
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Ranking strength of early NL schedules
In following Tuesday's column ranking the American League's early-season schedules, Wednesday we have the National League. The teams are ranked toughest to easiest in caliber of early-season schedule.
Games vs. teams with records of .500 or better in 2013: 31 of first 40.
Home/away: 18 of their first 40 are at home.
Notables: The Cubs basically get to run an NL Central gauntlet in the first quarter of the season, with 21 of their first 40 games against the Cardinals, Reds and Pirates.
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Phillies hurt long term by informing NCAA
Monda was cleared by the NCAA weeks ago, and, on Friday evening, the NCAA announced that Wetzler will become eligible to play again on March 2 after completing a suspension.
As time passes and the Phillies' silence continues, the impression hardens within the industry -- particularly among agents and college coaches -- that the team acted out of vindictiveness, because neither Wetzler nor Monda accepted their offer. That will not have a chance to change unless the Phillies explain their side of the story.
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Phillies will have to explain draft charges
From Aaron's piece:
Several sources have confirmed to Baseball America that the Phillies, who drafted Wetzler in the fifth round last June but did not sign him, told the NCAA in November that Wetzler violated the NCAA's "no agent" rule. That rule is widely disregarded by baseball prospects, whose advisers routinely negotiate with teams on players' behalf, against NCAA rules—because that is the industry norm. As an American League scouting director told Baseball America in 2008, "Every single player that we deal with -- I don't care what round you're talking about -- has representation, has an agent."
And every year, some players drafted inside the top 10 rounds elect not to sign pro contracts, often drawing the ire of the clubs that drafted them. But major league teams almost never attempt to contact the NCAA in order to report potential violations. The Phillies, according to sources, did just that with two players they drafted last year: Wetzler and sixth-round pick Jason Monda, who opted to return to Washington State for his senior year. Monda was cleared to play by the NCAA last Thursday, the day before the college season began.
When asked about the Wetzler situation Wednesday, Phillies scouting director Marti Wolever told Baseball America, "I have no comment."
Let's make this clear: The Phillies or the NCAA hasn't yet explained exactly what happened. We need to know the rest of the story.
But if the surface details are accurate
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The plight of 'The Draft Pick Five'
"If the price on the house is set and it just sits there and nobody's buying at that price," the executive said, "isn't there a time when the reality of the market sets in and the price comes down?"
Players are reporting to spring training all over the baseball landscape, and those five players -- five veterans tied to draft-pick compensation -- remain unsigned, fueling the most-asked question in the industry these days: Where will those players land
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Phillies will listen on Hamels and Lee
Which could be why they have told other teams that they are willing to consider trades of either of their two best starting pitchers, Cole Hamels and Cliff Lee, as sources say.
Hamels turns 30 later this month, and it was only 17 months ago that the Phillies signed him to a seven-year, $153 million deal; he had a 3.60 ERA last season.
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text: The 130-seat Hinks and Elaine Shimberg Playhouse, located between the Ticket Sales Office and the Jaeb Theater, is an intimate venue for local and national artists, such as poets, musicians, dancers, comedians, performance artists and small theater companies. This specially-designed, flexible "black-box" theater allows for varied configurations of traditional or three quarter seating, as required by the production. The Shimberg Playhouse is general admission and no seating chart is available because the theater setup changes with each production. Venue rentals Technical Info


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Years ago, as I was standing in the checkout line, a woman turned to me and said, "It must be nice to afford such expensive clothes." We were in a Food-4-Less, the kind of place where pallets of food are stacked to the rafters and you pack your own groceries. I was wearing jeans and an old t-shirt, my hair pulled back into a pony tail, and so I looked around, wondering if she had meant me.
"What?" I said. I wasn't rude; I was confused.
"I said, 'it must be nice to afford expensive clothes." The second time, I heard the undertones in her voice, the sarcasm cut with condescension. Her arms were crossed tight across her chest. She had a small, pinched face and her hair was pulled back into a taut knot. She nodded her head at my daughter, Chloe, who was sitting in the cart. It was then that I noticed what Chloe was wearing: a Ralph Lauren Polo dress, in pristine condition. In my hands, I held the WIC vouchers I was about to use for the milk and orange juice and tuna and carrots. I was visibly pregnant, belly round and defined.
What was there to say? That I'd found the dress for a few dollars at a Goodwill? That I was employed with a good job and married? Should I have explained that I was pregnant so soon after the first baby not because I was irresponsible or didn't know how to use a condom, but as a matter of choice? Should I have told this woman, this perfect stranger, that I had the best health insurance and maternity benefits I could probably hope to have for years? Should I have maybe outlined the WIC program, given her statistics on the benefits it provides young families, the fact that lots of middle income workers qualify for it?
I turned around, didn't say anything, because what was there to say? Who knew which was the "right" answer for this woman. Maybe I could have told her that the dress had cost a dollar and change, but more than likely, that answer would have led to another accusation masquerading as a question, then another, and another. There wasn't anything I could have said that would have proven I deserved the charity I was receiving, let alone the benefit of the doubt.
And I didn't answer, in part, because I believed then that answering to unreasonable accusations required someone to become defensive—and being defensive was the harbinger of "whining." It's a powerful word to describe someone; even now, it's become descriptor non-grata on talk radio programs, a means of dismissing any argument criticizing a current situation (like dismissing the recession by claiming that America is "a nation of whiners").
I don't think, though, anyone will mistake this entry for "whining." Because my response as I read the letters in response to my Salon piece was far from whining*. It was more on par with anger—the kind that might make a normally rational mother of three chew her nails down to the quick. There were the comments that stood as evidence of poor reading skills, like the person who said I should stop buying shoes (referring to loving Mary Janes was tantamount to buying them, I suppose). There were comments that were asinine, like the reader who insisted that I could have fed my entire family on a pure vegan diet for $5/day. There were others that were wildly inaccurate—like anything remotely attempting to put figures to my potential salary as a secretary, the SSI I get for Ivan, or the cost of my rent. Lots of people weighed in on my degree, the relative stupidity of getting an art degree, at the Master's level no less, with three kids. Others took that three kids business and ran with it—I was "shitting out" children I couldn't care for, and hadn't I had more sense? Maybe I shouldn't have been so eager to divorce my husband, or maybe I should sue him for more child support, and anyway, didn't you raise your kids better than to spit out day-old pastries? When I was a kid, we never had pastries, some reader said, and would have loved even day old ones. Clearly Ivan is spoiled. Privileged. Non-deserving.
It's the last thing that was the common thread, the thing that stuck out. We do this with lots of things: charity, government aid, scholarships. We make people pass a litmus test where anything, any aspect of their lives, is fair game. Do they waste money on cable television? Do they have a newer car? Or, perhaps the most devastating one: Are they "trying"? What does "trying" even look like? What does it entail? These kinds of tests are always about something the tester is lacking or doesn't have (a car, for example). But the terrible thing is that no one person can ever answer all the litmus tests of the world. There will always be someone ready to tell you that you should have thought more carefully about child care expenses, or that your affection for French cheese doesn't jive with their image of someone who is poor.
This is part of the problem, too: the words "poor" and "poverty" are so broad that they have been rendered almost meaningless. Claim you're poor, and lots of people think that means you'd better be living out of your car and taking meals at the Mission. Say you're living in poverty, and you'd better be working a minimum wage gig and buying single cigarettes for spare change. These words, though, don't reflect the complexity of the economic reality of Americans. The fact that there are numerous people who live far below the poverty line doesn't make those who live right at, or even above, the poverty line less important. Making that argument attempts to create a false dilemma, where one can eternally ignore the problems of the crumbling middle class, often in favor of paying lip service to helping the "truly poor." That same impulse attempts to render the experiences of those who "aren't truly poor" as less affecting, less difficult, and that means we don't have to talk about them.
Does that sound boring to you? Let me break it down, then: if one more person tells me I'm not fucking poor because I'm educated or have a full-time job, or a car, then I'm going to take my overdue electric bill and shove it up his sanctimonious ass. Living in any kind of poverty is hard, and anyone who has had to be hungry in America has lived in poverty.
More importantly, the vilification of the poor or the working class, or anyone who talks about what it's like—that it's hard, brutal, exhausting to contemplate the stretched-thin life daily—undermines the American Dream. If we say that we believe in a system where hard work and determination and "pluckiness" can be rewarded, if we talk with admiration of our grandparents and great-grandparents who pulled together lives from little, if we embroider into our cultural myths people like Bill Gates and J.K. Rowling and their experiences, then we have to allow that people struggle now, that poverty exists, and that it's difficult. We have to understand that some people try and fail. We cannot have it both ways. We cannot, at least in good conscience, worship the ends while refusing to acknowledge the means. In this case, the means looks like a soup kitchen, or WIC vouchers, or furniture pulled from a dumpster, or a stack of Safeway gift cards sent by friends.
The belief in the American Dream also requires a belief in risk-taking that would not only allow someone—say a mother of three--to throw her money on the table, and get an MFA in Creative Writing, but would encourage it. And how risky was my degree? I had a myriad of reasons to go to school, not the least of which was a scholarship, a stipend, health insurance, and subsidized child care and housing. From where I stand, it doesn't look risky to make use of those benefits.
This isn't the entire reason I went to grad school, though, just as saying "I like to write" doesn't convey why I keep this blog or turn out essays. It's more than that, deeper than I wanted to admit before, harder to admit to than taking my kids to a soup kitchen. My family started solidly middle-class, and then slid steadily down the economic ladder. There were reasons for this, namely my father's alcoholism. There were failures of all kinds, periods where we'd lack electricity or food. In seventh grade, my wardrobe consisted of one pair of jeans, three shirts, and a worn pair of sneakers. I had no underwear.
At the same time, I was in all the gifted classes, the token poor kid in a sea of middle- and upper-middle class kids. I wasn't poor in the inner-city way, but to my classmates, I might as well have been. I had never had piano lessons or tutors. I hadn't taken French or Spanish. But I learned the language of the entitled middle class all the same. I learned its values. And I learned how to pass like I belonged there.
But I never have, not really, and it's one of my deepest insecurities. I claim my intelligence more than I need to, all the goddamn time, because it's the trump card in that world—intelligence for its own sake. The most difficult thing in going to the soup kitchen wasn't the actual act of driving there, unloading the kids, and walking in, but what it meant to me. It meant I had ceased just passing—that I was acknowledging that I had been an imposter all this time. It meant, too, that maybe there wasn't any way to escape where you came from. All those years, all those moves from tiny duplex to tiny duplex, cars falling apart in the driveway, I remember believing that if I was just smart enough…if I just worked hard enough.... It was the one thing I had.
We pretend that talking about class is an easy thing. We lay out reasons and ideas as though their perfect symmetry of logic and belief would apply in practice as it does in theory. We lay blame on the poor for their own plight. And maybe I am whining. It would be easier to think I was because then so much less would be at stake. I'd give anything to be wrong about this, because then it means that, sure, I failed, but Chloe or Ivan or Giselle maybe won't. There are lots of times when I'd like that to be true. But it isn't.
This morning, in the kitchen, I made pancakes. It's August, and money is tight, like it is every summer, though there's been no soup kitchen or food bank this go around, at least yet. I managed to sell enough writing to scrimp through these three months without work, meaning I could forgo the spendy childcare. It has not been easy, but I'm making it, carving out a life as best I can. I wonder what the kids will make of these years, what they'll remember. I flipped the pancakes, poured coffee this morning and Giselle, the baby, turned on some music. Bob Dylan's scratchy voice filled the kitchen. Giselle danced, swung her hips back and forth with precision, and Chloe and Ivan laughed. I watched them, looked to see if they were happy, and they were. Chloe is still reading The Diary of Anne Frank. Ivan is planning on being an environmental lawyer, even as he's trying to pay attention in class, even as he knows what it means to be autistic. If anything, I hope they always believe the world is not as bleak and merciless as I sometimes worry it is. That belief is a luxury a lot of people can no longer afford.
-Heather Ryan**
*A good many of them were thoughtful, and by thoughtful I don't necessarily mean supportive. I appreciated the hell out of those.
**Post-Salon essay, I had a few days when I wanted nothing more than to only write under a pseudonym, forever and ever amen. And then I thought, fuck that. The only reasonable solution was to ditch the nom de plume entirely.
After my parents divorce, we were on welfare for a time while my mother went to college, and believe me when I tell you that I only remember her doing her best and loving us. In our case, it was a relief to be poor and happy as opposed to financially secure but in an abusive household where daily life was fraught with violence and emotional insecurity.
No, you weren't. THEY have been the imposters all along, Heather. I grew up in a typical lower-middle-class family (translation - we would have been considered "poor" by today's standards), but both my mom and dad worked so we always had food to eat. My parents were the superintendents of the apartment building where we lived - not because it was a good job, but because that meant we lived rent-free. Hand-me-downs were de rigueur fashion.
I spent a year on unemployment, utilizing WIC because we needed to. I never felt shame about that - when you need help, YOU NEED HELP. The hell with what others think. Kudos to you for being able to struggle through it - I have no doubt that it is one of the hardest things on the planet to be a single parent and I think you're doing a bang-up job.
I see by Julie's comment you are the artist formerly known as terriblemother - I'm glad you decided to drop that, since you are obviously anything but. :-D
You and Michael Copperman discussed, in the comments of his post memorializing his former wrestling coach, the value of not flinching. You didn't flinch from doing what you had to do to feed your children, and you didn't flinch from this essay. Much respect.
Excellent essay. There's no shame in being poor, as long as the kids have enough food and a place to sleep.
BTW, there is an answer to people who harass you, though you may have to whisper it in their ear sometimes. Just say, f*** you.
Remember Sturgeon's Law, Heather, and hang in there.
Why is it that some people are always out to prove that their suffering trumps yours? Do they think that their problems earn them some sort of halo? Or that you're going to be ashamed you aren't as destitute as they are?
I don't get it, and I've been a target of that kind of accusation myself.
Thank you for sharing -- there was something familiar about that piece on Salon, now I know why -- I had already met the author here at OS. As I have written to Joan many times, I cannot believe the things that people write in the comments sections on Salon. Where do these people come from? Because I don't see so much of that in my everyday life -- people being that mean and thoughtless with such consistency!
I have a natural naive habit that helps me when people are making fun at my expense. Because I generally believe that people are good, I hear the words before I grasp the nuance. So, if that woman had said that to me about the dress, I have no doubt what would have come out of my mouth would have been: "Yes, I know isn't it great? I was so pleased to find it at St. Vincent DePaul's! Have you ever been there, you cannot believe the great things a few dollars will buy." Will all the sincerity and gusto in the world, because regardless of my income bracket, I have always loved to find a great bargain that becomes a much needed tool or treasure.
I would have felt blessed to have found a cute dress for $1.50 and if you can have a cute dress for $1.50, why would you buy the ugly one? After I realized what she meant, which might not dawn on me for days, I will go on a slow burn. But, I was blessed not to hear every slam as it was intended. I wish I could loan you this quirk.
The problem is that people do not understand this thing that the media flips out called "the working poor". Barack Obama defined middle class as up to $150,000 a year. The poverty line is somewhere around $40,000. It is NOT possible to live easily anymore with a family of four on $40,000. Single moms have it the worst because you have to work AND pay for child care (or single dad in the same situation).
Don't think one more time about those horrible comments. If you post again on BSalon, let Michael read the comments and give you the Reader's Digest condensed version of the good ones.
I think the people that post on OS are wonderful, and I know some of us still post on Salon. But the difference is that most people here really do care, or are at least interested in our little community. I am boiling with anger on your behalf just now. I just hate to hear that with all you laid on the table, that people were willing to abuse you as well. It is unconscionable. People JUST don't get this current economy and how hard it is to get by...I wish you all the best.
Not really yours. They were just taking it out on you.
Which of course is unfair, mean, but we all do it to some degree when we are uncomfortable in our own skin.
This was courageous of you to byline with no nom de plume, not to mention to respond at all.
Great writing.
Go gurl
As for the responses to your writing, Heather, that just sucks. And I know from personal experience how you feel--I've been in severe financial straits, and I've gotten some remarkable nasty letters in response to articles I've written, including an article about having cancer. Nice, huh?
For the life of me, I will never understand why people think it is OK to be so nasty. If they wanted to just disagree in some reasonable manner that would be one thing, but why the personal attacks? Attacking someone for needing some help taking care of herself and her kids? That's just unconscionable.
Those people are afraid, of course. If it can happen to you, it can happen to them. So, they do everything they can to blame you. Otherwise, they would have to acknowledge that control is just an illusion, that bad and difficult stuff can happen to any of us, at any time.
By the standards you describe here, I have been poor going on three or four years now, but I've taken comfort in hoping my now eight year-old son will one day benefit from (if not consciously recall with fondness) all the time our family's poverty has given me to spend with him.
As I think back on my own childhood, growing up in the house of a successful businessman whose financial successes clothed me in the latest fashions and allowed me to sleep in pima cotton sheets - but deprived me of his company and attention and a visceral sense of his love - I can't say for certain who has had the more destitute upbringing.
Thanks for writing, peace ...
And horrified by the few comments that I could stomach.
In the ER, whenever a patient comes in after being in a car wreck, the first thing the staff asks as the clothes are being cut off of the victim is, "was she wearing her seatbelt?" If the paramedics answer "no" then there is non-stop sanctimonious blathering. If the patient was strapped in though, the room becomes quiet.
OdetteR is right - these people are so afraid to admit that this could happen to them.
Thanks for having the courage to write.
My mother lied like a rug to people all the time about payments that were in the mail. My mother was a real mother tiger and she was generous with everyone in spite of the fact that we had little or nothing and were often on the brink of eviction. So I know about the amazing lack of insight that many people have, and which they are ever so generous to share, at the expense of anyone breathing the same air. Most of those people would have been lucky to kiss my mother's ass or yours. I hope your kids feel the ancient power of your mothering and aren't thrown off by the shallow pool out of which so many make their heartless and stupid comments. Poverty is not a moral failing, nor is it any indication of intelligence or worth. Heartlessness certainly is a strong indicator of a failure to develop ones inner resources. You know, those powers available to everyone, that have no tether to anything that materialists value most.
The much longer comment I had in my head boiled down to:
You had poverty forced upon you, but they chose to be assholeier-than-thou. Guess which of you I'd rather hang out with. Check the mirror for the answer.
But the Heather Ryan piece on Other Salon I read, remembered, quoted, printed out, sent to people and used in discussions when I wanted to say "See?---this is the way it IS"
Some folks you engage with. Leave comments for whatever reason. Some folks are real writers. So you say nothing. You just applaud.
That's you.
I'll post the same comment I would have on Salon - and risk the ire -
You are an educated, intelligent woman. What do you figure gave you the right to bring children you could not support into this world?
Your story about being poor and in classes with upper and middle-class students really touched a nerve with me. My story was not exactly like yours, but there were enough similarities.
Of course you have to write. Obviously you are a writer, and an eloquent one at that. But we live in a world that demands conformity even when thing aren't going too badly, and cannot bear any deviations when they are.
[I'm probably not the only one who'd like to know... do you have any websites/blogs with a PayPal option? Or do you have a PayPal account?]
One answer is in your observation. Intelligence improves the gene pool.
Nice post, Heather. Thanks. And best of luck.
You can hide your face behind a smile
One thing you can't hide
Is when you're crippled inside.
As if there's not enough misery in the world, you figure that you need to make someone's load of it just a little heavier. You're a pip.
And I know its not PC and violence doesn't solve anything but I'll kick their asses for you if you want. I know I can take 'em.
Of course, there is the risk that unplanned events might render parents poorer than they had anticipated, and that the heretofore unconsumed infants have aged to a point where they are both attached to the parents, and better able to resist being fricasseed. But, complaints or not, these are the kinds of sacrifices that people should be prepared to make.
My stepfather was alcoholic and mentally ill and abusive. He wouldn't all my mother to "work," but we would have starved without her sewing "hobby." We got through lean times through the "generosity" of the farmers in the extended family--giving us produce and beef and pork and chicken from their farms (which one side of the family never, ever let us forget).
This was not the life my mother planned. My father was a Captain in the USAF, and provided a comfortable living for my mom, right up until he died when I was 9 months old (in a USAF plane crash in Turkey). Suddenly, the woman who'd wanted 4 kids could barely feed the one she had.
Shit happens. It can happen to anyone at any time. That's the randomness of the universe, and we need not to make judgments of people who are trying their hardest to get by.
You've given voice to the experiences of a lot of people. Again, Brava.
To be able to say absolutely nothing in some situations, to refuse to engage with the sucking swamp, is actually the most empowering act. I read and appreciated your Salon piece when it was published but found no words to comment, as it was difficult to express the sadness-cum-optimism that it evoked--you described a reality I wasn't aware of and that hurt to hear about and made me shudder with "there but for the grace of god go I" sort of feelings. The nasty, self-righteous comments you mentioned go a long way in explaining where the ignorant masses came from to elect Bush twice (I don't live there and still don't get it), but I naively expected that Salon readers were more rational and intelligent than average. (And if that's true, god help us.) It just sickens me, and I'm so glad you ripped them a new one with this powerful essay.
I think you're already a huge winner, and hope you'll continue to be strong for all of us who want to relish your work regularly.
"But I never have, not really, and it's one of my deepest insecurities. I claim my intelligence more than I need to, all the goddamn time, because it's the trump card in that world—intelligence for its own sake. The most difficult thing in going to the soup kitchen wasn't the actual act of driving there, unloading the kids, and walking in, but what it meant to me. It meant I had ceased just passing—that I was acknowledging that I had been an imposter all this time. It meant, too, that maybe there wasn't any way to escape where you came from. "
Even were I brave enough to have written that, I don't know that I could have done it. That's an admission that is deeply personal, and frightening, too.
I don't know that you'll reach any of those who would criticize your "choices", but thank you for writing this.
My mother raised 5 kids out of wedlock (never married, so no child support-like being married makes it happen(!), from 1957 to1967 for the birthing years and then the next 20 on top of that.
Sometimes I thought she was a terrible mother, but it was never because of the poverty. Kids who are poor don't really understand what poor is. Your kids are gonna be fine. You haven't let the situation make you crazy and abuse drugs. You are winning the game, one battle at a time. All they *know* and really care about is whether you love them or not.
The oldest one, that pouted at the soup kitchen needs to work there a few days when she gets to be a teenager, because by then, your pull to get yourself out of poverty will be done, and you can have her learn what it means to persevere and just get it done. The younger ones probably won't even remember it. But she will see it from the other side and maybe learn.
I am living a middle class lifestyle as a potter and artist, partially supported by my husbands middle class job and partly by sales of my artwork. He does the benefits and I do the luxuries. And every day I stayed home with my kid instead of farming him out to daycare, I thanked my "terrible mother" for teaching me how to survive in poverty, as that is how it became at the end of some months. And it didn't scare me or make me lose my shit, I just tightened our budget to meet the money. Your kids are learning that, too. Which will be an advantage they have on other middle class kids grown up that never had any deprivation. Those kids break down and suffer in the face of poverty, kind of like you do sometimes, it seems.
The most reasonable thing you can expect for your kids or yourself is to do one degree better than your parents. You are not an alcoholic, so you win. And your kids will be middle class and educated, not poor with no options, so they will win. And their kids will do even better. My son will go to college and get a job working for a living and knowing how to live a moral, normal life. He is very smart, so he might even do better than that. But I only want the former, and for him to be "happy", whatever that means to him.
And that is the real American dream, to do just a little bit better than your parents and to keep that move forward generationally.
You are doing a fine job raising your kids. And your degree shows. You are a very good communicator and you are funny as a bonus!
@Kellylark: As a scientist, you must have to consider all the evidence before coming to a comclusion. If all the facts that you took away from Heather's story prompted your conclusion to be the judgmental, irrational thought that you posted here among Heather's friends, you certainly are not very observant. I posture not a very good scientist either...
Self-frustration and judgment of others leads to mean-spiritedness. I'll say a little prayer for the healing of your spirit, and an opening of your eyes and heart to develop a better ability to observe for both your career advancement and the spiritual evolution of your soul.
I learned early on never to ask for or seek out help because it unfailingly resulted in retaliation, viciousness and suffering.
I'm homeless and have been for a year. No employer will hire me because I whislte-blew and was effectively blacklisted. Writing hasn't paid a dime - but I don't have your talent, either, so I can't complain on the merits.
But I've lived off a grand total of $80 in 2008 - that averages $10 a month, and cost of it was found change on sidewalks and in gutters.
I have enough health problems and have lost enough weight that I look "funny". No phone means that I have no way for prospective employers to contact me (except of email retrieved from public libraries, which are beneficial beyond description). It means that I don't have the means to store or prepared most foods, such as (cheap, but nutirtious) dried beans and peas, pasta and rice. Forget fresh fruit, vegetables, dairy or meat, poultry and fish.
My clothes are clean, but wrinkled, and they are too big/out of style - definitely not workplace lovely.
I walk everywhere, and my toenails routinely fall off from blisters. My feet and ankles blister and bleed, and I worry about my shoes falling apart as I don't have the means to replace them.
Society has stripped the means for me to independently sustain myself. For whistle-blowing - trying to right illegal and unethical practices which had and were continuing to harm people.
A betrayal of humanity and of fundamental trust, is what that is, no matter how one is impoverished.
I don't want friends; I don't want cheerleading; I don't want handouts; I don't want "charity"; I want a job; I want to be able to afford and to keep safe shelter, nutritious food, basic weather and work-appropriate clothes; and then I want to be left alone.
That's what I think you want, as well. And it's what the people who wrote the accused and convicted comments - the great mass of predators - doesn't want to face.
That's what I see in you, Heather, proving that lady and any other naysayers including one on here wrong and rising above it all. I applaud your efforts as a writer, artist, and, above all, parent.
A) believe whatever they went through was harder, grittier, and they're better off now for it, so you should just suck it up,
B) believe whatever they're currently going through is worse than anything you could have gone through you should just suck it up,
C) believe whatever someone they know or someone they read about went through worse shit and you should just suck it up, because that's what Americans do - they suck it up.
Everyone loves to give advice, especially if it's the kind that jabs at what they believe is "irresponsibility." It's snide and shitty - but for one reason or another, empathy is in short supply in this country.
Either way, fabulous piece - keep it up. You're good at what you do and somehow, you'll make it through this - just like the rest of us.
If we as a nation cannot provide our future a solid start , we will have no future , just variations on the cruel past.
All families need the basics, after that it's up to the rich to take the ball and run with it to ensure their food is steak, their education is Harvard, their healthcare includes rhinoplasty and their house has a tennis court.
The truth is some people need to blame others because they only feel ok if they can feel superior. They'll evolve.But until they experience the powerlessness of 97% of the planets people,they're handicapped .
But your childen are already being exposed to real life, not living in a cocoon. There's no substitute .
I'm a little more self-censoring, but applaud what you have shared, how you have shared it. Well said. So much is said about issues of race, but so often it's the classism that really makes you wonder.
Growing up, my dad was very bad at handling money. My mother would have made a great career woman; however, she never finished college to marry my dad (back in the day, that's just what you did) so she settled for a job to make a paycheck, to compensate for his poor choices.
What I appreciate from my mother was that you don't have to look poor even if you are. I thought of her when you wrote about your daughter in the namebrand dress from goodwill. She taught us good taste -- that doesn't have to come with a good price. I use that so much now with my children, who wear good clothes from goodwill, clothes that make them look well-cared for and give people the impression that my husband makes good money in the military. Which he does, compared to my parent's income (and financial choices) growing up, but that doesn't mean we could afford those same clothes at retail value.
You may underestimate the influence your pseudo middle class upbringing had. It can teach discernment of good taste, which can lend toward personal respect and high regard of self, which can get a person through many a difficult situation. No matter how we may be faking it in the meantime.
There are, right this second, lots of angry Americans who truly believe that they can look at someone, or imagine someone on WIC, or imagine anyone benefiting from THEIR taxes (unable to grasp the concept of public monies) and that person clearly doesn't deserve to live.
Literally. They can point at someone worse off than they and loudly cheer that "those people" aren't working hard enough, are too lazy, deserve nothing. Dying will learn us, the say.
We all deserve to live. We're all humans. To many people, scared, denying their own vulnerability, looking for a scapegoat, that you're not dead means you haven't hit bottom.
Poor means fear. We all believe the myth that we can work hard enough to escape it, but that's exactly the problem. It is a fairy dream. This is why we have "public assistance": It's a public problem. While we try to live the dream, boosted by teevee and the internets and Reagonian propoganda (those people CHOOSE to live on the street), there has to be a boogie. That'd be you and me and anyone else who notices, who wakes up, who is terrified of slipping off the dock into the water, while others watch, their faces dissolving into dark.
Thank you, Ms. Ryan, for telling it like it is.
I am old enough to have started my retirement; but our gross income is less than $1,000 per month and we must rent because we sold our home to afford that graduate degree. We never had enough income to purchase that home after that degree.
Fortunately there are still a few social programs left after the neoconservative takeover of America. One of them is called Medicaid. We have discovered that in some ways we are better off with my small retirement check than we were during that short time I was earning more than $50,000 per year and had "good" insurance. (We had the best plan my employer offered. In spite of that, though, we not only paid nearly $600/month for a family policy, but tens of thousands of dollars in copays, drug copays, deductibles, and all the other ways the HMO could figure out how to "steal" from the sick.
We never imagined we would ever be in this position. Because of family members and some 401K money we held it together when there was no salary at all. We never had to go to the soup kitchen nor ended up homeless; but I remember my first use of a "food stamp" card and how it made me feel. Even though I always tried to remember I didn't know the actual life situation of the person in front of me using food stamps, there still was probably some questioning going on about what their real circumstances were.
We continue to struggle from month to month. It will be very hard for us to move into a cheaper apartment just because of age and my wife's health challenges. On the other hand, that is our short-term goal, though it will likely not help that much. When your income goes up or your rent goes down then your "food stamps" get reduced and you end up in the same difficult place as you were before.
I have become more comfortable with handing my "food stamp" debit card to the cashier; but I still am not completely so. I only hope and pray that our new administration and congress will pay more attention to making the middle class and poor secure than they have in putting money into the pockets of those already rich. I want a return to the America where there were social protections for everyone, not just those on Wall Street.
Your second post would become a great "This I Believe" statement: you believe in the power of anger.
It's a brave thing to believe in anger, especially today, when so many insist that anger is counterproductive, creates stress, turns off friends and makes new enemies.
But sometimes anger is the only appropriate response.
Stay angry.
I've fed my kids from the dollar store more times that I care to remember, and as a freelancer, that awful possibility still looms. It's near a soul-crushing thing to have children dependent on you and not be able to provide for them, and I know first hand the awesome strength it takes to get through those times without putting your head in the oven.
(Oh the dread, the sheer dread, that arrives in the form of an overdue electric bill. The humiliation of calling to beg and plead with them not to shut it off. I took a job as a waitress and cleaned other people's houses at one point, because I was so desperate.)
Never, ever listen to those who slam you for writing honestly, poignantly and well about your life.
And whatever you do, don't let the bastards get you down.
Welcome to the OS, Heather Ryan. Nice to meet you. Proud to know you.
I'm the product of a working poor family and a mother with your tenacity. Now that I'm an adult myself I can see how important it was to have a role model like her.
Your courage is inspiring.
that's very well said.
I've been haunted by the image of the woman making the remark about the clothes. I'm not sure why it has affected me so much. I feel such anger at her, and no desire to direct any compassion or understanding her way --- though in many ways she is just as much a victim of 'what really equals poor' propaganda as anyone else....
Me, too. I keep thinking about it for some reason. Some people are so petty. Even if something like that crossed my mind, (which I doubt it ever would) I could NEVER feel so bold or mean to think to say something hateful. That dress could have been given to her by a generous person walking down the street -- what business was it to anyone??. I am galled by people who are that rude and nasty.
Your discussion of your childhood also resonated with me. We had rice for dinner many nights, and I was the poor kid in my gifted classes. I have since worn my intelligence and my education like some people were Prada. But underneath, there always is that sense that someone will find you out for who you really are. The great thing is, no matter how poor you are, that doesn't take away from who you are and who you are raising your children to be.
Hang in there, and keep writing for god's sake! You're brilliant!
I'm a high school student, with a mother of my own. A mother who doesn't blog, doesn't text, and doesn't really know how to use the computer. Yet, even though she lives outside of the realm of what you could call "modern society", she's a passionate woman who needs to be heard. I almost want her to go back to school, to get her masters in something other than "accounting and finance". She runs a garden center and l0ves interior design, she has the eye of an artist. Basic mathematics seem a little below her. I'm sure that she's pent up, ready to implode. (Especially when you add on top of that a teenage son who just started driving.) I really wish she could just express herself in this raw way that you achieve so easily. Maybe even throw in a couple "fuck thats" if need be. Thanks for your article, it lets me know that there's a couple moms out there who still have the vivacity to show the world their perspective, to see over the children and bills for a couple of seconds and tell the truth.
There is an "epidemic" of infertility in this country. I argue that it isn't that we are getting less fertile, it's that we're waiting for the perfect moment, when school is done, when money's made, when pigs fly. And now people are having trouble conceiving?
I love it when people ask me, "Don't you know how that keeps happening?" when they see all my kids together. I say, "Yeah, you should try it."
People who have so damned much to say about other people's family choices should go out and be foster parents or adopt a special needs child. When they've put their money where their mouth is, they can tell me how many kids I'm allowed to have.
I have a friend who does not "look" handicapped but who is debilitated by a weird, rare, & insidious lung disease that makes even drying her hair a workout. When faced with judgmental, ignorant people who say "I wish I had a handicap sticker" as she climbs out of her car , she simply replies, "things are not always as they seem". So true, so succint and so (hopefully) thought-provoking for those who can't conceive of anything other than the obvious.
Thank you, Heather Ryan, for your bravery and honesty. Rock on!


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international expansion
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Designers have always factored in environment
PUBLISHED: 24 Nov 2011 00:01:05 | UPDATED: 24 Nov 2011 04:22:40PUBLISHED: 24 Nov 2011 PRINT EDITION: 24 Nov 2011Architects have been taking climate into account for decades when designing buildings to minimise energy use and increase the comfort of occupants.
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Topics | Construction & Engineering /Architecture , Construction & Engineering, Environment, Property - Commercial |


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You look at me,
And you see life,
Happiness balenced,
On the point of a knife
If i lean any way,
I will fall,
To my death,
The ravens call.
The dark abyss,
Which lies below,
It is now stronger,
And continues to grow.
The wind starts to howl,
But i hold my ground,
And hang onto this life,
By which I am bound.
The weight pushes down,
The knife's through my feet,
I have to jump now,
And accept my defeat....


text:
-~= I'm simply amazed with how many visits this place has got, a massive thank you to every single one of you! =~- Like this place? Please give it a thumbs up! January 22nd - A few new decals here and there. Special thanks to: JeffTheBaker, machocoolster2 "wow this game is so easy". Woah, a game with the name of "Super Fun EASY Obstacle Course" is easy, who could have guessed?
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text:
West Ham United Football Club
- Nickname:Hammers
- Founded:1895
- Manager:Sam Allardyce
- Ground:Upton Park
- Capacity:35595
- Last Game: 28-Feb-2015 12:45
- West Ham United1
Crystal Palace3 - Full match report
- West Ham United News
- Fixtures
- Results
- Information
- League Table
- News Archive
- Statistics
- Squad
- Premier League News
Zola: Ilunga is committed
05 Dec 2008 - 16:45:00
Gianfranco Zola insists Herita Ilunga is committed to West Ham United despite the on-loan defender making claims to the contrary.
The 26-year-old has made 12 appearances for the Hammers so far this term following his season-long loan switch from Toulouse, but described the club as a 'second-rate' in an explosive interview.
He added: "Once I've proved myself in a team such this, I can hope to make the step up to another club."
However, Zola insists Ilunga is happy at Upton Park and has revealed he will attempt to sign the left-back on a permanent basis.
"I know Ilunga very well," said Zola. "He is totally committed to what he is doing here and his answers were taken in the wrong way.
"He is happy to be here and is looking to sign a contract with the club. As far as I'm concerned he is a player I will try to sign."
Meanwhile, Zola has denied media reports that he may be forced to sell key players like Dean Ashton and Matthew Upson in the transfer window.
He added: "We will consider selling some of them but we are not going to sell the best players.
"This club wants to progress so we are not going to sell our best players. This is what I am told by the club and I trust the club 100 per cent."
Related West Ham United News
Related West Ham United News


text:
Tom Spousta
Recent and archived news articles by Tom Spousta of The New York Times.
This Time, Forecast in Green Bay Is a Balmy 20 Degrees
Sunday's playoff game between the Packers and Cowboys has been called Ice Bowl II, a reference to the last time these teams met at Lambeau Field in the postseason in 1967.
January 11, 2015, Sunday
Cowboys Aim to Pry the Ball From a Team That Isn't in a Giving Mood
Dallas's defensive turnaround this season has been built by its ability to force turnovers, but Aaron Rodgers rarely coughs the ball up at Lambeau Field.
January 9, 2015, Friday
Jameis Winston to Enter N.F.L. Draft; His Accuser Sues Florida State
Winston, the Florida State quarterback, said on Wednesday that he would enter the draft, and the woman who accused him of rape has sued the university, her lawyer said.
January 8, 2015, Thursday
At Clutch Moment, Tony Romo Grabs Control
Romo's 8-yard touchdown pass to Terrance Williams lifted Dallas to a first-round victory over Detroit. The Cowboys will travel to Green Bay next Sunday.
January 5, 2015, Monday
As Dallas Cowboys Hit Stride, Tony Romo Pursues His Legacy
Romo, the Cowboys quarterback, had one of his finest seasons, but he has missed the last four postseasons and has yet to win a Super Bowl.
January 4, 2015, Sunday
Jameis Winston Is Cleared in Hearing Over Student's Rape Accusation
In a Florida State University hearing, a judge said there wasn't enough evidence to find Winston guilty of violating the student code of conduct.
December 22, 2014, Monday
Jameis Winston's Account Is Released, and Lawyers Battle
An account by the Florida State quarterback has wound up in the hands of the news media and on the Internet, escalating tension between the lawyers on either side of the case.
December 5, 2014, Friday
Jameis Winston's Hearing Concludes, and Ex-Judge Will Issue Ruling
Florida State's hearing into whether Winston sexually assaulted another student in 2012 concluded on Wednesday, and it is now up to a former judge to decide what happens next.
December 4, 2014, Thursday
2 Witnesses at Winston Hearing Are Said Not to Testify
The hearing involving Jameis Winston and the woman who accused him of sexually assaulting in 2012 her would likely not have any effect until after the Seminoles' season.
December 3, 2014, Wednesday
A Certain Win for the Giants? Not So Fast
The Giants appeared to be saved by a 33-yard Josh Brown field goal with 3 minutes 26 seconds to play, but Josh Scobee delivered a winning 43-yarder with 28 seconds left.
December 1, 2014, Monday


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Giant's FSX Front Fender will protect you and your bike from dirt and spray, for exceptional value. Whether you're commuting or enjoying a recreational ride, this front mudguard will keep you clean and dry. The dual compound material is durable - ideal for all weather riding, all year round.
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Product Description
Available while supplies last.
Skillet with Handle
Whether you're cooking pancakes, making a grilled cheese sandwich, sauteing onions or searing chicken, this 12.5" skillet is the perfect size for multiple uses and a larger quantity of food. The hard-anodized construction is preferred for its exceptional durability and even heat distribution. The long-lasting, nonstick cooking surface means you don't need to worry about food sticking or about scrubbing dirty pans - cleanup is a breeze.
- Hard-anodized cookware is exceptionally durable
- Heats quickly and evenly, reducing "hot spots" that can burn foods
- A clear coat exterior makes this cookware dishwasher safe for convenience
- Long-lasting nonstick interior lets food slide off with ease and makes cleanup quick and easy
- Fun rubberized handle provides a comfortable grip and is oven safe to 350°F
- Made in Thailand
Materials: | Hard Anodized | |
Warranty | Lifetime Limited |
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bio | website | goncalogomes.info |
location | Lisbon, Portugal | |
age | 32 | |
visits | member for | 1 year, 8 months |
seen | yesterday | |
stats | profile views | 1 |
Web Developer. Worked in Java for 5 years with J2EE and Spring Framework. 2 years more building a JavaScript framework (xrtml.org). Some pet projects: freeweaver.com ( website editor written mostly in JavaScript with REST services written in Java, good for mockups, not finished yet so don't advertise :b, but you can have a look, only need email and pass to create an account ) wmenu.net ( pizzashop portal written mainly on top of spring technologies including security and web flow ) And from webspertise.pt you can see I have worked on a number of projects for clients so I'm your man to help you with most major aspects of building websites, so trust my judgment! :) Just kidding, make sure I'm right before taking it to production ;-)


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J. Cordell S.Akron , OhioThe Number One Dryer In The World !I've been drying hair for MANY years, this hair dryer is by far the VERY best dryer I have ever used. It is a dryer for grown-ups. It is durable number one. It dries the hair in half the time ,without damaging the hair. It's great ergonomically also. If youare a professional this is the dryer for you.posted Aug 29, 2010Link to this post
ToniHairMedium BrownNormal HairI Love This Dryer!!! It's The Best!!!My hair dresser has this dryer and I just love the way my hair always looks when leaving the salon. I never really thought it was the dryer, thought it was her technique of drying my hair. I hesitated to purchase it due to the price but it is "well worth" the money!!! It dries your hair in half the time, doesn't cause frizzies and leaves your hair smooth & shiny. I also love that it's compact. The larger size dryers make your arm tired causing you not to want to finish styling your hair. I've gotten so many compliments on my hair after using this dryer. I would DEFINITELY recommend this dryer!!!posted Aug 29, 2010Link to this post
Jean L.NJHairMedium BrownColor Treated HairExcellent Service And ProductItis an excellent product. It gives my hair volume I need in short time.
The customer servise was impressive,
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She called me back in same day saying she found one and sent to me that day.
What a service.
She went to extra miles to help customer.
I was so imporessed by it, I recommend to all my friends to try their product,
Jeaeposted Aug 29, 2010Link to this post -
BkMy Hair Has Never Been This Shiny With Any Other Hair Dryer! Best Dryer Out There!The Sedu Revolution 4000i hair dryer is so amazing, I have been raving about it to all my friends and family! I used to have to spend hours drying and straightening my thick curly hair. When I was in high school I used to wake up at 5:30 everyday just to have enough time to blow dry and then flat iron my hair because I "had" to do it everyday and it had to be perfect. Well, since then I have been on a constant search for something to speed up the process which took me over an hour! Well, that was years ago and the newer dryers are now faster but the Sedu Revolution is not only super fast at drying my hair but it leaves it looking like I got a salon blowout! My hair is softer, much more shiny and easy to straighten with this dryer compared to countless other professional dryers that I have used. This dryer has completely revamped my hair routine and I can now dry, and straighten my hair in less then 15 mins. Thrilled is an understatement! Absolutely worth the cost of saving so much time and having my hair look so much smoother and more shiny!posted Jul 21, 2010Link to this post
AmandaFolica's #1 Top Rated Hair Dryer Is My Hair's Best Friend!Almost too good to be true, since I started using this hair dryer my hair has become softer, less frizzy and just seems more healthy! SO HAPPY that I purchased this dryer as it is extremely worth it! It saves me so much time in the morning and my hair looks the best it ever has and I keep receiving compliments that my hair looks great and what am I doing different....the only thing different is that I made an investment in my hair, I bought the Sedu Revolution hair dryer because I want the very best for my hair and this dryer really is the best! I recommend the Sedu Revolution dryer to everyone!posted Jul 18, 2010Link to this post
LaurenHairCurly HairSimply The Best Hair Dryer!Simply the best hair dryer! This thing is amazing, it is so powerful! It Allows me to do my hair in a fraction of the time and it looks so much better then it has using other hair dryers. My hair looks like I just left the salon! it is so easy to straighten my curly hair into straight, smooth hair with no frizz with this dryer. I wish I had this dryer a long time ago!
posted Jul 17, 2010Link to this post -
MorganDries My Hair In A Fraction Of The Time And Leaves In Healthy And Shiny!I LOVE this hair dryer, it is the best I have ever used! Compact, dries my hair in half the time and leaves in so smooth and shiny! Can't say enough good things about this amazing dryer, it is totally worth the cost!posted Jul 16, 2010Link to this post
LauraBest Hair Dryer Ever!!Best hair dryer I have ever used! Absolutely fantastic! Can't say enough, it dries my hair so fast, makes it so smooth, soft, frizz free and seems to keep it healthier. This is not the top rated, most powerful hair dryer for nothing!posted Jul 16, 2010Link to this post
MorganFastest, Most Powerful Hair Dryer For That Amazing "just Left The Salon Look!"Simply amazing, I have tried tons of other high end professional hair dryers and this does something fantastic to my hair that none of the others can do. It leaves my hair smoother, softer and makes it easier to straighten my curly, fine to med. textured hair without leaving it flat and heavy feeling as some of the other ionic dryers did. I dont use the ion button because my hair comes out better without it on. Oh and the speed? This dryer is the fastest you will find and it leaves my hair looking so smooth and like I just left the salon for a blow out!posted Jul 15, 2010Link to this post
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CHI Shine Infusion Thermal Polishing Spray is an innovative weightless thermal active shine spray that provides an instant polished shine to all hair styles.
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New Price: $13.00


text:
I own a DROID X and recently bought a DROID Razr from eBay. Today I activated the Razr BUT it won't connect to either Network. It'll make phone calls and take them, as well as work on WiFi, but that's about it. I called up Verizon's tech support and did what I was told to do, but still no Network connection. So, I reactivated my X (which I'm using right now) and tomorrow I plan on going to my local Verizon flagship store to have a tech check it out. I REALLY wanted the Razr and I'm pretty disappointed that it's having issues. I contacted the eBay seller about the problem (no response yet) and let them know that if the phone is unable to be "fixed" that I'll be looking for a refund. Has anyone else had the problem I'm having? (The phone came with its original box, charger, manuals and a cover / case). [Does anyone think perhaps the SIM card (that I bought today) may be somehow defective?]
If its a new sim card then its probably not the issue. Could just be a defective unit. Was it verified working by the seller?
I have a RAZR MAXX, today had a problem wtih 4G / 3G starting at about 08:20 ET this morning. Instead of going to 3G when I left a 4G area I got 4 white bars, no 1x, no 3g, no data connectivity. I called Verizon and was told there was a nationwide outage and a ?? number of 4G devices which were having issues reverting to 3G. They had me reboot, take out the SIM card, set to "CDMA only", etc with no luck. I had no data connectivity until about 13:00 ET I was back on 3G.
I talked to Tech Support and was told everything about the phone on their end looked fine, and the reason the seller gave me about selling it was that he'd gotten the Razr Maxx.
I was told there was an issue with calls this morning but nothing about a coverage outage, and at least your phone was using 3G... mine won't even do that, yet when I reactivated my X, the 3G was working just fine. I contacted the seller and he told me he'd gladly refund me my money if the phone turns out to be defective.
I've lost 3/4G. I went to bed around 10:30 and had it. Woke up this morning with nothing. I've rebooted, used Fresh Network. Nothing. This is BS and doesn't help me as my work phone. Why does it seem like every time VZW opens another 4G market, everything else gets screwed up?


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For six months, Jessica and Carl Doerrer's home in Hackettstown, N.J., has sat on the market.
Despite today's news that record low interest rates are encouraging more home buyers to finally purchase, in the Doerrers' case, their house has had no offers.
Now they're asking for $225,000 even though they bought the house for $325,000 six years ago.
What's worse? The house was appraised at $190,000. That gap, experts told ABC News, could be a huge problem if the Doerrers get an offer. When it comes to selling or refinancing a home, they say, banks aren't loaning the difference to any family these days.
"When a bank gets a low appraisal, they often won't do the loan at all because they feel as though it is overvalued … and they feel at risk," said Barbara Corcoran, a real estate expert and founder of the Corcoran Group. "So you can implore with the bank that they get a second look but the fact of the matter is it's rarely turned around."
ABC News brought in Alice Palmisano, the executive director of Brown Harris Stevens Appraisal and Consulting, to assess the Doerrers' home.
Keep reading to see the "after" shot of the room above and more "before/after" images.
She pointed out the overgrown yard — "I didn't bring my machete" — the clutter in the office and the carpet.
After the family removed their furniture, rolled up the rug and cut down the hedges, the Doerrers were still left with seven pages of additional work to do — and just 48 hours to do it.
In the end, the Doerrers spent $1,600 on improvements to their house. Their home was later appraised again and came in at $214,000 — $24,000 more than the previous estimate.
Below are detailed tips Palmisano shared with ABC News:
- The First Sight. Appraisers can hack off hundreds, even thousands, of dollars from your home's value just for having an unkempt yard.
- Small Subliminals. Palmisano said you don't have to redo the entire kitchen. Adding a new faucet can be considered an update and it adds value.
- Address the mess. Clutter isn't just an eyesore; it costs money too. Experts say a clean, clutter-free house can appraise 10 percent higher than the exact same messy home.
- Out With the Old, In With the New. Palmisano said an old TV can make an entire room look dated.
- The Naked Truth. Palmisano said carpet on top of carpet will read like there's a stain. You don't want to give the appraiser the impression that you're hiding something.
- Remove Excess Furniture. Maximize your space and how it's perceived. The less furniture you have in a room, the larger the space looks.
- Everything in Your Home Should Work. If something doesn't work properly, replace it, fix it or remove it. When people come to see your home — buyers and appraisers — it can be hands on. If there is a knob that is broken or loose, fix it.
- Show Property in Best Light. If there is a feature in your home that is special, point it out. Keep the door open to a phenomenal closet before the appraiser comes.


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June 10, 2014 at 7:48 AM ET
The day we've all waited for has come: Matt Lauer is joining Facebook!
Check out the TODAY anchor's brand new Facebook page, then check out his answers to viewer questions during a live chat on TODAY's page.
READ: 12 things we learned about Matt Lauer when he joined Facebook