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You're so unsure. And that's an understatement. You know it's time...but then you really don't...perhaps you think you could never be sure. After all, it's a life you're taking into your own hands...your beloved life...the one you raised, shared so much with and adored unconditionally throughout.
You need time. But do we veterinarians always give you a chance to reflect carefully on your choices? No, not always. Since our perception of your pet's suffering is born of experience with these matters, sometimes we seek your acquiescence quickly to prevent suffering...but sometimes we're pushy...or wrong. We're only human.
That's why I urge you to always "consider the source" when you're making your decision to euthanize your pet. Remember, we're more likely to view the situation dispassionately with the "do-no-harm" theme playing in the back of our heads. Sure, we see suffering all around us and we want to prevent it. But not at the cost of your personal beliefs or by crossing your moral boundaries.
That's why this post is about YOUR decision, YOUR choice. Sure you trust your veterinarian, but the decision for euthanasia is ultimately in YOUR hands. That's why I offer a sampling of reasons pet owners cite as the primary rationale when electing euthanasia for their pets. Because while it's all about what's best for your pet, your feelings count, too.
My hope is that as you contemplate euthanasia for your pets, you'll consider these common ways my clients have come to decide on the timing of their pets' euthanasia. Perhaps they'll help you more comfortably arrive at a good decision with less suffering on your part.
1. A sign
Many of my clients wait for a specific sign of impending death and they set their clock by it. It's as if they know their pet is almost ready...but not quite. Not until they show them the sign that lets them know it's imminently over that they can recruit the strength they need to make the decision. Inability to stand. Refusing food. No longer drinking. These are the most common signs clients cite.
2. The second opinion
In case you're a new Dolittler reader, you need to know that I'm a huge fan of second opinions. And I tend to like them courtesy of specialists. While specialists might not always offer you the best bedside manner, and other second-opinion vets might not know you well, getting one more brain on the job––especially if said brain concurs with your regular veterinarian––might help nudge you in the right direction...or it might just save your pet's life.
3. I woke up one day and I knew it was time
This might be the most common mode of decision making I hear about. This moral certainty some pet owners arrive at on their own has an amazing way of granting peace. And I confess this to have been my luck with my own pets thus far.
4. Friends and family
Sometimes you just have to trust your friends and family. Though I've heard my share of sad stories where friends and family just didn't "get it," many of us are fortunate enough to enjoy close ties to like minded people who can move us in the direction we need.
5. I can't stand watching her suffer anymore
It happens after a chronic illness, usually. You've tried everything at least once. you've tried combinations of everything. You're all tried out and yet your pet still suffers. You're dragged into the situation––kicking and screaming, maybe––but you're all out of options and you can't stand the suffering anymore.
Here's where your faith in a higher power can make all the difference. Praying for guidance––and receiving it––works well for many of us.
A (Crisis)
Some calamity has befallen your pet. Things went downhill fast. Surgery went all wrong and the cancer was everywhere. You really have no choice. Being "forced" can be a blessing––but it usually feels like a curse. In these cases the decision really is almost out of your hands. Veterinarians call euthanasias like this a "race" to see which is first, the euthanasia...or a natural death born of extreme circumstances.
B (Finances)
A corollary to this concept of being forced is one I consider far sadder: When you have no money to continue to treat.
8. Resignation and relief
It's no longer in my hands, you tell yourself. Things are just too wrong. You're all cried out. Now you're ready. Euthanasia is almost a relief.
9. Preventing suffering
You may have heard me say this before, but I'll say it again: Sometimes it's better to be a week too early than a minute too late. For example, the patient I have scheduled for an at-home euthanasia later this morning. She's a 13 year-old Golden named Apple. After hip surgery her elbows began to deteriorate. She can still make it around with help, probably for months, but at what cost? Her family will be gathered today with the expressed goal of preventing future suffering.
10. Serious trust
Here's where I may appear to backtrack somewhat: If you should be lucky enough to have a truly great relationship with your veterinarian, you'll likely have talked death before the fact. But perhaps it's a last-minute crisis...and you haven't. Either way, assuming your veterinarian is someone you nearly implicitly trust, that's when you ask the question: What would you do? Next thing you know, you're abiding by the answer you know you don't want to hear.
More than likely you've experienced a combination of some of these reasons at the time of your pets' euthanasias. After all, most us here have been through a number of them. You'll also recognize that every situation, every pet, is different. We never seem to pass the same way twice––for better or for worse. So here's where I ask: What reasons did you come by along your way?
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Hi all. I wanted to let everyone know that there are some really good groups at yahoo that you can join and get opinions and help from others in similar situations. I have been going to a group on yahoo and it has helped me a lot. I'm definitely not trying to take any traffic away from this site, just offering a suggestion to some of you who really need people to talk to and responses and ideas.
I ran across this as I was searching for signs to know when it's time to put my beloved 14yr/10mo male Golden Retriever to sleep. I just don't know. He displays some of the signs: he rarely plays with his toys, he sleeps alot, does not hear when I come home and walk across the tile to him - in heels yet. He is blind in his left eye and in the past couple of weeks, he has been losing his back end a couple times a day, whether on slippery tile, concrete, or carpet. He has been on Rimadyl for a couple years, Thyroid meds since age 7, and I keep him on Glucosamine and Chondrotin treats daily. Some days I see the Dakota I have known and love since he was 9 weeks old, and sometimes I just see a tired old man. I am well aware he is well past the average age for a Golden Retriever, but I just want to make sure I do what's best for him and I just don't know. Any objective opinions would be appreciated!
We had an 11yr old Pomeranian/Terrier who had Cushing's disease whom we doctored for 2 yrs with VERY expensive medications & hospitalizations due to secondary problems (pancreatitis, CHF, etc).
We NEVER cared about the money at all as she was such a joy to me & my husband. She loved her toys & anyone that would come to see her. She was "needy" and had to set with one of us at all times. She ultimately had congestive heart failure as Cushing's attacks all the internal organs. When I got up & she couldn't breathe or walk away from her water bowl (Cushing's makes them VERY thirsty), I knew that this was not the life that our little dog enjoyed. She began wheezing and having difficulty breathing. She didn't have the "spark" in her eyes and didn't respond when we squeaked her toys. She didn't enjoy her life anymore. I knew it was time to let her go to the "Rainbow Bridge" where she could run and play and wait for us to arrive in peace. As hard as it was, it was also the easiest decision to make to not let her suffer anymore. We both held her as she took her last breath and rubbed her head & softly spoke to her. The most precious of moments in our lives with that little dog. We buried her in our back yard and speak to her every morning when we leave to get in our car...the kindest thing we could ever do for her. -
God Bless you and your little companion! May she rest in peace as she awaits you and your spouse.
Have you spoken with your vet about Rimadyl or something similar?
My dog was having issues like yours (he was ~14 at the time) and I was contemplating euthanasia when my vet recommended trying one more thing. That was 2 years ago. He is still walking well. Granted, your dog might have something different or more serious than arthritis, but it's definitely worth having the conversation with your vet. -
you mentioned that the vet tried one more thing....would you mind sharing what that was?
It was that they tried Rimadyl for arthritis.
When he stops wagging his tail, it's time.
I have a 14 year old standard poodle in the same exact situation. She no longer plays, sleeps most of the day and does not hear me come when I come home. Her back legs give away several times a day and she sometimes falls over or gets stuck and needs help getting up. She is also having accidents almost daily. I know she is in some pain and we manage it with medication. Sometimes she just lays down and moans or breaths very hard. Some days she is better and almost normal. Also her personality changed. She seems to be hungrier and is eating OK but is also more grumpy and has bitten me a few times when I am trying to help her up from the floor or just holding her collar to steady her. She had never even attempted to bite anyone before, was always a very easy going. And yet I feel it is just not time yet. Before we had her, we had to put down another dog who was 12 and had cancer. We knew it was time when she refused to eat and move. It is a very difficult decision but one that has to be done. You have to put your needs aside and make sure that your pet needs come first. And when that time comes, give yourself some time to mourn him and make room you your heart and home to save another dog, by rescuing one from a shelter. God Bless.
I have been giving my dog acupuncture through my vet practice. It has had amazing results. I took him to the vet because his legs were going (lots of arthritis and two rear crutiate replacements) I thought I was going to lose him (13yo). I had just lost his sister 2 weeks before from kidney failure. I was beside myself. My vet administered acupuncture (she's trained) immediately. The next day he wasn't the same dog - so MUCH BETTER. He has acupuncture again for two days straight. He's jumping on/off furniture whenever he gets the chance, playing with his toys, running (yes running)/chasing birds, now going for walks (pulls me along) that he hasn't been able to do for months and months. He loves his walks in the park for about 20 mins. I actually have to tell him its time to go home otherwise he would just keep going. I made the mistake of letting him off the lead one day and he just ran and ran and ran - on uneven grassy ground. It was all I could do to catch him. But it was fantastic to see him loving life. Yes he sleeps a lot but he is in his 90s (dog years) and needs a nap from walking. So now he has regular acupuncture sessions (2 or 3 times a month). It doesn't cost any more than for me to go to the physio. Unfortunately, his pet insurance doesn't pay for it, but I don't care. He also has the occasional massage at the vet (the vet nurses are trained in that) but he doesn't get the results he gets from acupuncture. Its painless, takes about 20 mins. The quality of life it has restored in him cannot be ignored. I covered my kitchen vinyl flooring with cheap carpet. That way he doesn't slip around. Try acupuncture if you can find one near you for pets. I'm lucky, his vet is trained in it. She has also told me that burning essential oils will have the same effect on him as me. I burn lavender oil/candles every night and we both sleep really well. For now I have my 'baby boy', he's having a good life in his twilight years. He does have one carprieve tablet daily, a course of injections twice a year for his arthritis, glyde powder supplement and another supplement with green lipped mussel 'Pal' company and access to Hills JD biscuits daily - and of course the mandatory home cooked chicken breast sprinkled over his Hills canned food. He has regular checks at the vet to ensure he's still going ok. Some people can't believe he is 13. He certainly doesn't care. He is an inside dog with all the comforts of home - reverse cycle air conditioning a bed in every room and a mother (me) who is at his beck and call.
Thanks for the reply. Queen told me it was time just 2 days after I posted here. She didnt want to go outside first thing in the morning, and when I woke her up to walk, an hour later, she started screaming in pain. The vet said that her back legs were actually totally gone, she couldnt feel them at all, and her front shoulders and neck were just wearing out from the extra strain. Waiting to see the vet she actually put her mouth on my hand for the first time ever, I knew she was in a LOT of pain. The vet said the choices were to keep her drugged for the pain, or put her down. It was time. I still cry randomly some times, and I have dreams about dogs. But i did know it was coming, Thanks for being here . . .
CARA: I feel for you, in your situation. You've had that dog since before you had your child. I know you MUST have a huge attachment to her. (She STILL wants to follow you upstairs! So, you must have given her lots of love!!)
If you've already discussed with your husband (and agreed), then you must know it is time, or getting near the time. Maybe it would help you to do it, if you could decide on a date... a month away (or less or more)... and then you could decide to spend as much time as possible doing the things she likes. If she likes being brushed, then you could brush her every evening.. etc.The closer it gets to the date, you will have your "last week" together. You will KNOW that the time is coming. She may even be able to sense that you are getting ready to "help see her off", out of her malfunctioning body.You can spend that week spending extra time with her and letting her know you have loved her... and so can the other family members.
Maybe it would help you AND her... Part of it is probably hard for you because she's not literally just laying in the floor dying.... that's why I had asked my vet about maybe some anesthesia for my cat, before the actual euthanization. Maybe that could be an option for you. Then, you'd know she was absolutely sedated before she ever got the lethal dose. Maybe that's something you can talk to your vet about.
For the time being, you could use a "baby gate" at the bottom of your stairs, to keep her from following you up there.. I don't know if that would work well in your house or not, but it's a suggestion. I wish you well in whatever you decide, and I wish for you & Queen the best possible outcome.
Try not to feel guilty. Be there for her like she's been for you... and when she's gone, remember the GOOD memories. It's not like your'e thinking of doing it to be mean. It's because you love her and you can see that she's suffering.... and it does take a lot out of a person to keep up with their families and take care of an ailing animal. Don't feel like you're doing it to get her out of your life because you're tired of her. If you didn't love her, you certainly wouldn't be on the internet, looking for info or help!
I'd just give & Verleen a hug if I could!
Verleen, Thank you, too, for your kind words to me and for your input. I had been asking every single person I knew. I wanted any opinion I could get, so I thank you. I empathize with you... I STILL miss my rottweiler! I just try to remember the HAPPIEST things we did together, and how happy of a life he had with our family. He could have ended up in a yard, chained to a tree.. belonging to people who didn't care that he was dying of cancer... but he lived a very happy life, full of playing and fun and learning and being loved dearly. I know the sad memories won't help me. But those happy ones can still make me smile and laugh.
I took my cat back to the vet the other day, where we talked more in depth about the "options". Considering his age, she said there was a definite possibility that he could die during surgery. (It seemed to me, from how she told me that several times, that she believed that to be a high possibility)... And that he MIGHT live about 6 months longer, if I had his leg amputated. Two months of that would be him letting his leg heal!So, a 'major' surgery (for his age) and then two months of healing... meanwhile, there could be cancer blooming inside him elsewhere... I just can't do that to him. It would still end in him being euthanized...I know that the vet can't KNOW for certain how long he may or may not live, whether we did surgery or not.... but I can tell when I look at him, that he is old and doesn't feel as well as he used to. He may not be ready to die this month or next month, but he is getting old and if he lived too many more years, he'd be dealing with eye problems, hearing issues, kidney problems (or some other problem)... So, I listened to what my vet had to offer, and decided to just put him on meds for now... and wait it out. Of course, I've been loving on him every chance I get.. (he HATES the meds, by the way! That alone makes me feel bad enough!)... It's basically the same "deal" I had to go through with my rottweiler that I spoke of earlier. I will watch him and love him as he declines... and when the day comes that I can tell he's too uncomfortable, or it's about to get worse, I will take him to be euthanized... because I LOVE him. I don't want him to suffer, just so I can have him here.As long as he's purring and can move around, and seems somewhat content, he's going to be here with me but if any of that stops happening, or if something else gets worse, then I'll know it's time.
One last bit of input on this:I also talked to my vet about my options for the euthanasia. I know that cats can be more unpredictable in how they react to it.. So, I asked if there was any way we could make it go any smoother. I asked if we could put him to sleep (like for surgery) (anesthesia) and then administer the euthanasia, and she said we could do that. I really don't know if that WOULD help it be any smoother, or prolong it.. but I'd think since he's so old, it might make it all go smoother. I thought that might be an idea Others here might be able to use. Ask your vet, of course, though! Or if you come up with your own idea, it never hurts to ask if it's possible.
I had a cat (she was feral and never became completely tame; at the end we think she had a brain tumor). Her reaction to the euthanasia injection was so terrible that the vet had to leave the room. What I remember is that she cried--almost screamed--as the drug was doing its work. Certainly not a pleasant experience for any of us! In this case, a little anesthesia might have been a good thing--but how can you know?
The euthanasia drug goes first to the brain where it begins to shut things down. The drug usually brings the animal through several stages into a deep coma like stage where their heart and lungs discontinue. Once it hits their brain they aren't really aware of what's going on. Unfortunately, the excitement stage, like you described is horrible to witness but the animal isn't aware of anything. Basically, just muscle reactions. I'm sorry to had to see that as it is very disturbing. 99% of the time, they just act sleepy and drift over the rainbow bridge.
Thanks for your reply, Lisa. I'm thinking in Maxie-kitty's case, anesthesizing her lightly before euth. might have eased this reaction--but, who knows? And, it's not as if we knew she would have a bad reaction...
ps - I keep worrying that she will break a leg falling down the stairs some time here. Often when she has a really bad fall, she doesnt want to walk the next day
I feel uncertain I even belong here . . . but this was the kind of thing I was looking for. My dog, Queen, is about 13.5 (I'm not sure, but I first saw her as a puppy when I was pregnant w my 13 yo). She is a shephard, maybe mix or not, but about 50 lb. My life has been through a lot of trauma, and my mom has kept her for me a few times. But even tho she's spoiled more at my mom's, she would rather be with me and the kids.
She has kidney problems, and is frequently incontinent even tho my husband takes her out at 10, 12, and 2 am, and I take her out at 7:30 am. We tried a medication, but it seems to make her stressed out and nervous. She is still on the KD food, tho. She has some arthritis, and is on a supplement for that, but its hard to get her out of the house on rainy days. She has always been unwilling to go in the yard, so we've always walked her 3-4 times/day, but thats getting harder and harder. She also has degenerative mylapothy, so she is losing sensation in her hind quarters - I assume that is to blame for her occasional pooping in her sleep - its only happenned about 3-4 times, in the past 3 months. But walking is getting harder and harder, I now have to leave 10 minutes early on our walk to the bus stop because she mostly is at a walking pace the whole way, and needs frequent breaks. She trips more and more on these walks. At first that would upset her - she looked around, like, who hit me? But now she's used to it, she just stumbles and gets up and keeps going. She falls down the stairs fairly frequently. She is deaf, and so worried about where I am, that she tries to follow me up and down the stairs when I am running errands, which only makes things worse. Our back yard is a full story up to the house, and she cannot make it up or down those stairs. Carrying her, or even helping her, is difficult for me as I am small and not very strong. I have three kids, 1 is bipolar, and i plan to home school two of them next year. She absolutely hates the heat, struggling even more to walk in the heat.
My husbandwas ready for me to put her down months ago, and I have basically agreed to do it this summer - we really didnt think she would make it through last summer's heat, but i had such a scare when she got old-dog vestibular event - we did what she could and she recovered, and seemed so energetic by comparison! But something's just got to give around here, and she is just getting to be much more work than pleasure, I know its not the good doggy life it used to be, and I'm feeling pressured. I know I need to let go but I feel so guilty!
Thank you so much for your kind words. It's been hard, but I know I made the best decision for him and our family. I miss him terribly, though.
As for your kitty, if he were younger, I'd probably suggest going ahead with the surgery if you could afford it, because I've seen many dogs and cats that function just fine with three legs. They don't have the hangups we do about things like that. But at 15 years old, that kind of surgery would have to be hard on them physically and mentally. And like you said, there is always the chance of complications.
I think your idea of watchful waiting for your cat is a very good one. Maybe you could make a 'deal' of some sort with yourself now, before things progress and get more emotional. Make a list of the things he enjoys doing or the behaviors he does that tells you he's happy; lying in the sun, playing with a certain toy, purring, etc. When he starts losing these things, then you'll know it's time. Like the author said above, "Sometimes it's better to be a week too early than a minute too late." In hindsight, I know Buster was in more pain for a longer period of time that he needed to be, because I couldn't bear to believe that there was not another answer for him. I feel very guilty about that.
I hope you have many, many more months with your sweet kitty.
Verleen: I came back here to see if maybe anyone had said anything else that would help me in my decision. Verleen, I think you did the rational thing. It was NOT selfish of you. I wouldn't even be able to afford a surgery that was going to be more than a few hundred dollars. So, you know that you did try. It does hurt so much more to euthanize an animal that you KNOW might have a chance. But now, Buster isn't in pain anymore. And he won't live any more years in pain. I have a friend with the same kind of dog, who is facing the same exact decision. I hope you can find some comfort in your decision and knowing that Buster isn't in pain.
My husband took in my sweet 7 yr. old dachshund Buster to be euthanized just an hour ago. I have been crying non-stop since we finally made the decision this morning, and I'm totally heartbroken.
Buster had a disc rupture in his neck about 9 months ago. Although we couldn't really afford it, and have never spent so much on a pet in our lives, we went ahead with the $3,300 surgery, which we had to put on a credit card. It turned out great -- after he healed he acted happier and younger than he ever had since we adopted him three years before. Well, to our great dismay, he started having the identical symptoms start up again about two months ago.
We thought we'd try just treating him with medication this time. He's been on pain killers, anti-inflammatories and steroids, but he continued to just get worse and worse every day. These past few weeks he has been in terrible pain several times a day -- every time the meds start to wear off, and we've geen giving him the absolute highest dosages allowed. The surgeon felt terrible for us and even very generously offered to waive his personal fee and guaranted the total bill wouldn't exceed half of the last one.
We've discussed this with family and friends for weeks now and finally came to the realization that if we totally depleted all our resources to have another surgery, there would be nothing left if our other dog, one of our two cats, or a family member were to have any kind of medical need. There was also no guarantee that it wouldn't happen again. He had a couple of other weak spots showing up in his back x-ray. He also had a habit of shaking his stuffed toys violently back and forth and when he was happy he would roll around on the floor turning summersaults and pretty much standing on his head. Silly boy.
I have never euthanized a pet that wasn't very elderly or terminally ill. My guilt and grief is so great right now. Did I do the right thing? Or am I terribly selfish to not have spent more money to try and fix him again? I can't believe he's gone.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I have a 13 year old pug that I will be putting to sleep in 3 weeks. Every day I look at her and then I cry. I know how much you loved your baby. I shudder at the thought of the day. I am having a mobile vet come to the house. I do not want her scared. So, know that I have seen your letter and I feel deeply in my heart for you. Your fur baby is with you in spirit form now. Peace be with you and yours.
Rene -
I found this site when I put in a search, trying to find out the best way to have a cat euthanized.
Yesterday, I found out that my nearly 15 year old cat has Osteosarcoma. A quick and aggressive cancer.
This cat was born in my bedroom when I was still a teenager. I've had him longer than I've even known my child and my husband!
I thought he was looking pretty good for his age. But 2 days ago, I noticed that one of his "ankles" had a swelling on it. A really bad swelling. I felt of it and it was much firmer than an abcess, so I took him to the vet the next day. They took x-rays and blood samples and told me that it appears to be Osteosarcoma. My choices are: amputate the leg; let him die naturally (and painfully); or euthanize him. (he doesn't have tumors spread to his lungs or elsewhere, yet).
I just don't know if it is worth his pain for me to have his leg amputated. From what I've read online, most cats don't live more than a few years anyway, after having the cancer removed. And he's almost 15 years old... He could still die from a blood-clot or an infection afterwards. My problem with DECIDING WHEN, is that he's still acting normal and content.
I guess I will see how it goes and take him when I feel that the time is right. I guess the "right" time would be when he shows any signs of obvious discomfort or problems doing normal things.
I just can't imagine putting him through the pain of an amputation, only to possibly still die of the cancer. Only for him to be here, in his damaged body, with me, for just a few more years.
I had to make this same decision with a rottweiler I had, a few years ago. He had a cancer tumor pop up inside his mouth. (also a very fast-moving and aggressive cancer).... He was only 3 yrs old.
My options were to have half his lower jaw removed & chemotherapy... or "make him comfortable". (I think it's easier to help a dog with comfort, because you can give them more pain meds than you can give to a cat). I chose to "make him comfortable" and had the tumor removed (so he could eat normally) and he was on some kind of pill (can't recall the name) ... and he lived for 4 months after his surgery.
During that time, I took him to places he liked to go and we played games he enjoyed, and I basically just tried to do as much fun stuff with him as possible, until he got too weak.
He seemed to be doing pretty good but then, overnight, he was suddenly seriously down. He couldn't get up and walk. He couldn't even raise his head. I *knew* that night that it was time. I took him the next morning and had them euthanize him. It was just really hard because even though he couldn't get up, he was fully aware and watching me the entire time. That was making me wonder if it was the right time or not... but then I stood there, looking at my young, beautiful, massive guard dog, laying helpless on the floor.... watching me and listening to me.... not even ABLE to raise his head to bark at the vet techs... and I knew it really was the time.
It's a hard decision to make.. but it's sometimes the only choice, if you don't want your animal to suffer. You're helping to relieve them of a body that is uninhabitable.
We lost our 8-year-old kitty to osteosarcoma a while back. He started limping a little, and the vet couldn't find anything wrong. A month or so later the limp was pronounced, and his leg had swelled up badly. An xray showed that his leg was actually broken in several places from the growth of the cancer. Our options were amputation and chemo or putting him down. I was not willing to consider leaving him to die as he was. We considered the surgery route- we've had another three-legged cat, and knew we could deal with that. It was the chemo part that finally decided us. Franky was still healthy and strong except for his leg- but the chances were good that the cancer would spread, so chemo was indicated. Not only does it cost a huge amount (beyond the surgery, which by itself would have been more than $1000) but it makes a cat very sick, just as it does with humans. I just couldn't put our little guy through all that. We put him down, and know it was the best option. It was still a horribly sad choice. If the money had been available, we might have tried to save him- but would he have chosen to go though all that just because we didn't want to lose him? I don't think so. It is always a tough decision, but we try to do the best for our furry friends. So sad to hear that you've faced the same situation!
The timing of me discovering this blog couldn't be better. Today I had to make the very tough decision to let my little JRT go. She would have been 11 years old next month. She had developed aspiration pneumonia (well, that is what the internist finally diagnosed), and she just continued to deteriorate. The first two vets that saw her thought she had a heart problem and was in congestive heart failure. Lasix failed to work, and the Internist disagreed and felt she had pneumonia. I had hoped the antibiotics, oxygen, etc would help her breathe, but she slowly got worse. Though I knew in my heart yesterday that it was probably time, seeing her refuse to eat even steak, and learning of her distress trying to breathe in the oxygen cage last night made it easier for me. This dog LIVED to eat and play, and when she refused all food Sunday and Monday, I felt she had given up. I suspect she had a underlying condition that made it too tough for her to fight the pneumonia. I did get to say goodbye and kiss her one last time. Seeing her eyes and feeling her gasping for air told me it really was time.
Thanks again for writing this blog. I have had a few moments of doubt and guilt for not exhausting every human thing possible, but I do know in my heart that making her suffer one more moment would simply be selfish on my part.
You've covered all the justifications for choosing euthanasia in a very thoughtful and caring manner. At our pet hospital, we also see those situations where the client just "knew" it was the right time. I encourage clients to pay attention to their inner voice...sometimes it has the wisest advice. You're right in that no veterinarian can really tell someone when euthanasia is appropriate. Everything is so subjective and standards of quality of life can vary a great deal. Whenever we have a client who asks us to tell them the "right time," we know that what they're really looking for is support and understanding no matter what they decide. We try to provide that as much as possible even in very difficult situations.
I tend to think of the question "What would you do if it were your pet?" unfair at times. Primarily because if it were my pet the situation would be dramatically different than that of any client. For one, I have access to specialists, diagnostic tests and treatments at a significantly lower cost. Secondly, I have the knowledge base that clients do not - I know the variables, risks, and potential benefits of treatment. Lastly, in some cases my own pets would never be in the same situation as those of a client, as I work in the field and my pets benefit from preventative medicine and smart responsible pet ownership.
And finally - despite everything that I just wrote I admit that I just don't want the responsibility of a pet owner asking me what I would do in their shoes. I prefer that they decide on their own, so if they should regret that decision later they will not place the blame on me. That being said it is extremely rare that a euthanasia occurs when the animal is not a good candidate for such a final procedure.
Hobson:I agree 100% that this is not the norm, this does boil down to individual honesty, yes, indeed.
You've got our number: Say it clear, say it loud, and say it often! It is our deepest hope to prevent other pets & owners from this same experience. Whether word spreads via pet-owner to raise awareness or professional groups to ponder ethical behavior, we are committed to this mission.
Both Fontini and I know this: we have had years of good pet medical care before & after, and probably more appreciation for it than the average person.
Last post should have been signed "Hobson"
Fotini, I still think your case is the exception, I really don't think there is a difference in honesty between radiologists and internists either, based on my experience with many of each. You had a bad experience with certain individuals. It is not fair to paint all of a group with the same brush due to the actions of a minority of individuals in a group.
It's NOT the proficiency I appreciate, but the HONESTY! If a GP or internist cannot offer a concrete diagnosis, he/she must say so to the client and refer the patient to a specialist or suggest a second or third opinion. Because the ACVIM internist and the board-certified surgeon didn't live up to my expectations, I asked my local (wonderful) vet for a referral to a major veterinary teaching hospital for my two remaining companions. One was diagnosed with laryngeal paralysis and the other with mitral valve insufficiency. Both tests were performed and interpreted by a professor of radiology and cardiology. The Internist, Chief, Residency Program, is their attending veterinarian.
As an owner of three dogs, I've never had to go through that experience yet but when that day comes I will be crushed.
Barbara, thank you for the kind words about Audrey. To add to your most recent post, I prefer to make referrals to universities where all the clinicians are board certified, but that is not always an option. In most cases a ACVIM certified vet can proficiently perform and interpret ultrasounds and radiographs to almost if not the same degree as a radiologist. In yours and Fotini's case that did not happen. But that is not the norm. Even general practitioners such as myself are proficient up to a point, we just have to know our limitations and be up front about it. Ultrasounds and radiolography are never an exact science no matter who performs them, they are always judgement calls and fall into the grey area of medicine we are forced to wade into more than we would like.
Cat ERVet: My goodness, what got your tail all a-fuzz? Both Fontini & I were referring to the fact that both of us did not have ACVR radiologists interpret "anything", but doctors that claimed proficiency in reading & performing both x-rays and ultrasounds, as we were both "referred" to these "experts". Kinda stacked the deck unfavorably!
Barbara A. Albright/NH
Cat ERVet:
Why veterinary medicine and diagnoses should be different than human medicine and doctors? Would you expect your internist to perform your U/S and interpret it, or would you see a radiologist for your X-rays, U/S, MRI, etc?
I did not offer medical advice but a personal, very unfortunate experience. Rest assured I have searched animal health issues and learned a lot. Unfortunately, until I lost my companion, I had not searched anything concerning veterinary medicine, specialties, etc., as we served our country overseas for the last 9 years, and the only vets we knew were military ones who didn't push for unnecessary services and procedures, but who were also deployed to war 6-12 months at a time. It only took 3 months after we came back to have my companion misdiagnosed and mistreated with catastrophic results.
It is the hardest thing one can do when it comes to our animals, but it is our responsibility.
This past Dec. 1, one of my mom's dogs, Ginger, who was 13.5yo, woke up and couldn't get up off the floor. We thought she'd had a stroke. Off to our vet we go, to find out she's got a splenic tumor that is bleeding internally. Even without the risk of cancer, the only way to stop it would be to do an exploratory surgery. We elected to euthanize because we could not see putting her through that surgery, knowing how hard it would be on her, and had it been metastatic, knowing she would be gone so much sooner anyway. This was probably the worst loss I've suffered, as we'd had her since I was 15 (i'm dating myself here), and Kidd since I was 14, and it was such a sudden thing. She was FINE until that morning. For her to be fine, and then DEAD, so fast, was just horrid. And then the fact that she had been my mom's other old dog's "seeing eye" sort of dog, and that now he'd be without her was even worse.
And we were right.
This past Monday, my mom's 14 y/o shih tzu somehow got lost in her backyard (he was blind and deaf and we found out later that when my stepdad said Kidd couldn't get back in the dog door, it was because he didn't know it was there, not that his legs were giving him a problem...he had luxating patellas.) We knew for some time that his time was coming. We came home to find him seizuring in the backyard and having heatstroke. Still don't know which caused what, but we suspect he had the seizure and that's why he was outside in this FL heat and got the heatstroke. We cooled him off ASAP as best we could but quickly realized it was beyond anything we could do and so raced to our closest (not our usual) vet. DIC was suspected and due to his other issues, we elected to euthanize.
However, it's not that I'm sad he's gone (though I am) I just so sincerely wish that he never had to go through that last horrible bit. Had he been "my" dog I feel I would have done it at least a month ago. I was prepared entirely to find he had just quit breathing and just never woken up. But to find him seizing and so hot that he was still at 105 at the vets, after we rushed him to the shower and put alcohol on his paws, and probably 15 min had passed by the time his temp was taken, and all of that horrible stuff...I'd almost rather he'd been run over and it had been quick, as wretched as that sounds.
Either way, it is just wretched. I've had to euthanize other dogs/cats for illnesses (cancer, FeLV, FIP, etc.) but at least then you have the time to adjust to the coming tragedy. You start preparing. I even had one of my leuk kitties before I went on my honeymoon because I could see the crash coming and didn't want Thomas to go without me there to be with him, or have to have whoever was pet-sitting try to do the right thing at the right time. What's bad about that is that often the poor animal suffers (even just a bit, I'd never wish any of those sorts of things on any living thing)as a trade-off.
Dr. Khuly, you are right, and I will remember your words: one week early is far better than one minute too late. -
fotini: yet again, your LIMITED personal experience clouds your judgment. you are offering medical advice which is flat-out wrong. there are PLENTY of times that radiologist HIGHLY RECOMMEND exploratory surgery - and it is not needed (i.e. the exploratory is negative). this happened to me 2 weeks ago. i suspected a foreign body, but i wasn't convinced by the xray OR u,trasound. the BOARD CERTIFIED radiologist reviewed the xrays and recommended exploratory for foreign body. i waited it out, did repeat xrays, and guess what?? no foreign body!
on the other hand, recently we saw a dog that was vomiting for an unknown reason. xrays were unremarkable, other than some GI ileus. the radiologist interpreted it as a gastroenteritis. the dog got sicker and sicker. we finally made the call to go to surgery - but by that time - the linear foreign body that was present in the small intestines had already perforated the GI tract and the dog was septic. the radiologist missed this, we missed it, everyone missed it.
radiologists recommend exploratories when they are not needed and don't recommend them when they are needed, JUST LIKE ANY OTHER VETERINARIAN.
i agree that a 2nd opinion is always warranted if you are unsure, but as the owner said - referral/2nd opinion is not a financial option. thus, she has to rely on her referring vet's experience and skill.
Lauren (Michigan): You probably know that euthanasia is a sensitive topic for me & why.
But if I may offer an opinion: Nera has had liver shunt ruled out? And the digesting- enzyme deficiency that GSD sometimes have?
From a previous post, it seems that perhaps an ACVR certified radiologist could review: MRI, cat-scan, and ultrasound without invasive exploratory surgery. Even a needle-guided biopsy could shed light on her condition. Is Nera's lab findings stable enough for surgery?
Only you can answer about "euthanasia" on the table, personally, I do not think it wrong for you to request personal attendance no matter what the method.And either way, be assured of how that euthanasia will be accomplished (drugs, overdose, etc).
Pocket's Story from New Hampshire
RMW: I'll go one further. If veterinarians aren't coming up negative in a percentage of their exploratories, they're not being aggressive enough. Think of all the mistakes that happen in the other direction. Better to go in and be wrong sometimes than to be so conservative that you're failing to cure. It's never black and white.
My Sophie had a negative exploratory about a year ago. I don't regret it for a second. The fact that everything checked out in her abdomen made me feel that much more confident that radiation was a great idea for her brain tumor.
Old age creeps in so gradually. I had never had to make the decision before. I knew my 17 year old shih tzu, Buster, was not the joyful young dog he once was, but he had earned his retirement and pampering a thousand times over. He was there when we needed him; now it was his turn.
Buster began getting lost in the backyard or trapped in corners. Sometimes he would stand outside my husband's workshop and bark to be let in when my husband wasn't home (I know NOW that drugs may have helped him, I didn't then). He needed to be hand fed and carried outside to relieve himself. Watching him stumble around was just awful. He hadn't 'played' in years. But, when I held him in my arms, which was for a good part of the day, he would relax and go completely limp. All his life he was like that; a true lap dog. He was never so happy as when he was held in my arms. He just melted. Who was I to take this away from him? How can quality of life be measured for a dog who is happy to just be held? How could I be sure I was not subconciously making the decision for the sake of convenience? After all, I also had other dogs that needed attention. I wrestled with the decision for over 6 months.
When I finally made the decision to let him go, I had to convince my husband it was time. Once he agreed, we took Buster to the brand-new, posh animal hospital instead of our regular vet because Buster hated going to the vet's. Once there, we were asked the question: why? Why do you want to euthanize your pet? How does one explain what one isn't sure of? The vet suggested Rimaydl and we eagerly agreed. Although it didn't help, I am glad we tried. But now my husband had to be convinced all over again. He refused to agree to it. This was in the fall. What forced me to take matters into my own hands was the thought of making Buster live through another winter; he got cold so easily. It simply came down to that.
Negative explore meant that they didn't have the skills to interprent the U/S; if they did, they wouldn't have recommended exploratory. I only wish I had sought a radiologist's diagnosis before I was urged by the Internist and the GPs to proceed with the explore. Hind sight is always 20/20. . . It was a hard but VERY VALUABLE lesson!
It took me 4-5 months to diagnose my remaining companion's cough. After several tests and several thousand of dollars ($4,000), the veterinary teaching hospital's chief radiologist performed a radiographic examination with fluoroscopy. He diagnosed laryngeal paralysis which no internist or GP was able to diagnose. Again, it took a radiologist to correctly interpret and diagnose my companion's rather serial health problem.
Fotini, nothing is black and white. I work in a hospital full of boarded internists, surgeons, critical care specialists, and radiologists. We still do explores that end up being negative. I do agree that if something looks "iffy" though, second opinions should be sought. But a negative explore doesn't mean that a vet did something wrong.
frogdogz: Though it's tough to Monday-morning quarterback on euthanasia discussions and veterinarian's ability/willingness to discuss euthanasia I can cite three primary reasons for why euthanasia is not raised by some vets:
1-The good: A critical care specialist at the top of his field. His personal moral boundaries exclude recommending or even raising the issue of euthanasia. He's so sensitive about this and feels so strongly that it's hard to fault him. You might argue he'd have been better off in another field, but he's sooooo good. Luckily he recognizes this issue and chooses to practice in a university setting. Makes all the difference when multiple veterinarians are working on any one case. Everyone knows he's not the go-to guy for end-of-life discussions and there are always other vets who know they're good at this and can step in.
2-The bad: Some vets are just not good at it. Period. It makes them uncomfortable to see people stress and cry and they find themselves at a loss for words. Instead of addressing the death issue head-on, they plow headlong into the medicine. I know of at least a handful of veterinarians who are GREAT at their jobs but confess to preferring a good, solid thumbscrew over a euthanasia discussion.
3-The ugly: One of my local practitioners claims not to believe in euthanasia. Though I have it on good authority (a witness) that she euthanized her own cat, she tells clients that she does not believe in it. She also refuses to recommend specialists and makes the bulk of her income on special needs cases where euthanasia would end the treatment cycle (I won't describe the field so as not to identify), thereby leading me to believe that she's an unethical provider who preys upon the weak and confused. Disgusting.
But, honestly, I believe most vets who don't raise euthanasia fall into category #2.
I just blogged about this, from the other side of the issue - that of a Veterinarian who, in my opinion, should have advised my partner to let his 20 year old cat go, but instead talked him into a myriad of additional tests and measures. All this did was extend her life - but it was an extension with no real joy, or quality of living.
Our new vet will always have my gratitude for his kind but firm advice that it was 'time to let her go', when Sean could just have easily been talked into more tests and procedures on Misty. Sometimes kindness is just giving us permission to let their suffering end.
While I agree that all the points you listed in your article are valid when trying to make this awful decision, I think the only way to know for sure is when you truly connect with your pet's spirit. It can be difficult to really "hear" your animal when you're worried and afraid, but if you can set those fears aside for brief moments, you will know if and when the time has come. Animals create their own reality, just like we do, and they are often ready to transition long before we're ready to let them go. They pick up on our energy, and because we're so connected with our animals, they often stick around longer than they might have because they know we're not ready to lget go. They do love us that much.
Veterinarians are in an extremely tough spot when advising a pet owner on issues related to euthanasia. We're likely to think about life, death, suffering and euthanasia differently than you do. How then to actually advise? The best we can usually do is listen closely to what you say, interpret your words the best we can, repeat them to you to make sure we've understood, outline the major issues you care about with respect to your pet's life and death, and then present our own findings with respect to how your pet's condition fits into what we've heard your needs/desires are.
After two at-home euthanasias today I've had recent cause to think that veterinarians are sometimes more like priests than doctors. And priests have it easier--they understand your fundamental beliefs better than we do our average clients.'
Lauren (Michigan pet lover):
As a guardian who lost my companion of 13 years to a misinterpreted U/S by an internist who recommended exploratory surgery for an obstruction that was not there, I would strongly advise against exploratory. If your finances allow, PLEASE seek a board-certified radiologist's expert reading and interpretation of an abdominal U/S. Based on the radiologist's diagnosis, your companion may or may not need an exploratory surgery.
"I want to cry. I waited too long and I hate myself for it. My 20 year old cat got sick in August. To make a long story short, I had to force feed her, give her shots of potassium, fluids under the skin, etc. I kept hoping things would improve. She was my baby. I never had kids but she was the closest I would ever get and 20 years is a long time. On the day I made the decision, I was on the way to the vet with her in my lap and she died before we got there. I was driving and when I think of how it all went down I want to cry. It was not peaceful for her, or me. It was horrible. I know now I waited way too long. I hope she forgives me. My vet was very noncommital as to what I should do. He more than likely knew it was time way before but he knew I would try anything and everything first. He never gave his opinion one way or the other. I wished he had. I wished he had told me it was time way before it happened. In my heart I think he felt it but would not voice it. - Jan"
Your cat would not forgive you because there is nothing to forgive. Maybe you did wait too long, but that is in hindsight and you only think that way NOW because you didn't want to see her suffer. However we are all human and our desire to keep our pets alive and happy (and with us) and our desire to not let them suffer are both opposite sides of the scales. Your cat died the way she would have wanted to, with you, and even better in your lap! Don't carry this with you and let it affect you forever. For sure you should grieve the loss of your friend, and you're right 20 years is a very long time to be together (longer than most marriages), but I can tell that anyone that would go to those steps to try to make their pet better, surely and truly loved her and she probably had an amazing 20 years with you! If there is reincarnation I would have no qualms coming back as one of your pets!
One thing I feel needs to be addressed is the animal's soul needs as well as their physical needs. Last summer I watched my much-loved dog decline due to cancer. For a long time her decline was slow and didn't seem uncomfortable for her. For me, she mostly seemed like an old dog (she was 14, after all), so we were both okay with things. About a month before her death, she started to look and feel worse, and I started using an animal communicator to help figure out what my dog wanted.
For a long time (about 2.5 weeks) she did not want pain meds. It was hard to watch her go through that pain and to have her begin to indicate she didn't want to be touched. She began to spend more time out of her body but indicated through the communicator that those times were blissful and preparation for leaving her body entirely. Eventually she said she was ready for pain meds, and the doses were quite high by the end. I had a very hard time watching this and especially respecting her wish to not be touched. Fortunately I have an extremely supportive group of friends who read my emails detailing my experiences, both happy and sad, and let me know they were with us on this journey.
Every few days I asked our communicator if my dog was happy with the way things were going or if she wanted help (euthanization). Every time she said the dog was grateful for the time I was giving her to work on her death in her own way and would prefer not to be euthanized, although she would accept euthanasia if I could no longer bear to watch her process. Then, one day, a few hours after our check-in call, the communicator called back to say the dog had just reconnected and told her she was ready for some help. I cried and called the in-home vet. Making that appointment was one of the hardest things I've had to do, but I felt blessed to be able to help my girl die in her own way.
She had a fabulous last day and was very, very happy all day. She did a lot of the things she used to do as a younger dog, ate well, etc. We had a beautiful ceremony when it was time for the vet to come and sent her off with love and support from both those of us present and my email group. I know I won't always be able to provide such a beautiful death for my animals, but I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to face some of my own fears around death and loss with such a graceful, beautiful soul to teach me.
The book Merle's Door by Ted Kerasote was a big help to me while I went through last summer. I highly recommend it.
eegd: My last dog "Dottie" had lymphoma at the end. I interpret the pacing and panting as uncomfortable and signs of suffering. And it has been my experience (just as with my Mom dying), that the body goes through both hot & cold spells...fever and cold.
The digging could be exactly as you think or maybe to seek "cold". Not eating of course, is a definite sign.
RMW: Why on earth would a vet keep on offering "options", when "hope" has run out, the pet is clearly in decline mode, and the owner needs honesty, compassion, and is on the verge of being emotionally, perhaps physically overwrought? Not to mention, allowing a companion animal to suffer, feel fear, pain, and diminished quality of life.
I still believe it is withholding "information" that harms the most. If you are told that prognosis is POOR, I can't help but think at the appropriate time, a pet owner is ready to also grasp "euthanasia".
Barb A./NH
First of all, I've been lurking on your blog for a few weeks now and have found it incredibly interesting! Thanks!
Even though it has been nearly a year since I made "the decision" for the first time (with my first dog), I still remember the day and the events leading up to it like it was yesterday. For me I guess it was some combination 1, 5, and 8. She was in the final stages of lymphoma (after 3 failed chemo protocols and one clinical trial that did not work either) and we had fought out hardest for 6 months that were actually very good. Although she could still walk, she was no longer eating and something in her eyes said it was over.
There was also something else though, that I have never been able to find an answer too that still makes me wonder. Perhaps you or one of you readers knows... I made the decision to let her go very early one morning after she woke me up by pacing, panting, and trying to dig into the corner of the room. In the 8 years that I had her, she never tried to dig in the house. I took her outside where she dug a little at a hole she had previously started and then laid down in it. Back inside, she tried to dig in a crate and hide in a closet. My brain immediatly thought that she must be trying to leave the pack to die. and I sort of took it as the final sign. But I have no idea if this is what wolves would do. I am still slightly haunted by this and would love to know if this could have been what she was trying to do.
Regardless, I am still at peace with the decision... I hope it is many years before I am faced with it again!
As long as my pets are eating, drinking, urinating, defecating, able to walk around, and willing to be social, I feel that they are doing OK. I had an ancient Sheltie that had a few health problems but was still able to do all those things. The day she could not get up from her dog bed to greet me was the day I put her down. I had a fairly young cat with kidney issues. He was a high stress cat so daily medicating and SQ fluids were out of the question. It would have made both of us miserable. The day he stopped eating and drinking I brought him in to be euthanized. I've seen way too much animal suffering over my years as a technician. I cannot bear the thought of any of my pets suffering. I sometimes see animals come in for frequent blood transfusions, to have the chests and abdomens tapped on a regular basis, animals who spend more time in the hospital than at home because their bad days outweigh their good. I could never do that to my pets.
In regards to vets knowing when it is time to euthanize--they have to be so careful when offering this up as a choice. Decisions on euthanasia are irreversible and an owner cannot come away feeling they were forced one way or the other. Vets can explain the disease process, the treatments available, and the prognosis, but ultimately the choice has to be up to the owner. I do wish that vets could be more comfortable talking about euthanasia to clients. Sometimes I see it written so clearly on a client's face, they are just looking for someone to talk to them on a more personal level. They don't want to hear facts and figures, they just want to know, "What would you do if this were your pet?" Sometimes an owner is afraid to bring up euthanasia as an option and if the vet doesn't mention it, then they think that their pet may have a better chance than it really does, because surely the vet would say something if euthanasia were reasonable, right? I love the vets I work with but I feel that the majority of them do not communicate well with owners in these situations. As long as there is a CHANCE the pet could pull through, they will keep offering options for treatment. They are not trying to be misleading or bleed the client for all their money, I guess they just feel they can not offer up anything other than professional advice and leave the emotional decisions to the owner, which is frustrating when the owner is practically begging for personal guidance.
This is a touchy subject for me and I could go on and on, but I think I'll stop here.
Some people think that when you have multiple pets, losing one is not as big a deal as the single-pet-owner. I can say emphatically that it is no easier to say goodbye, nor comforting to have the remaining bunch, and it never becomes easier either. Each one is special and unique to you, admiring the differences and loving them for it.
I guess I fall into #1, 6, and 8. The signs are all there, I mourn way ahead of time, and start crying (out loud) weeks before. Everytime I tell myself to accept it and make the best of what's left. And for the most part, we do. We go through special rituals, quality time and attention, and finally #8 comes due, and I have to get it "done", I pray to hold it together for my beloved companion.
I can see it now, with my two 12+ yr. old "beanies", both have that high, scratchy voice pitch change...their "voice" is not like it was. And yes, to me it becomes the end-of-the-line, when no longer will I hear a bark or howl, I dread that day more than any. I wonder if Dottie's Vet remembers me saying that on 3/31/08 was the last bark "Dottie" did. She had to be euthanized 4/11/08.
Dr. Khuly, would you kindly consider a blog about "10 ways the Veterinarian knows it's time for euthanasia"?
Hobson: I am SO very, very sorry about Audrey. Though never having to do that with one of my own pets, I faced that twice with rescue Scots. That so totally broke my heart, to have to make that decision with physically healthy young dogs.
If I can offer any empathy: please know that the dog is suffering just as much in a mental way. I believe in my heart that any companion animal does not want to do "bad" and literally has no control. It could even be something physical that you will never discover. I am going to pray for inner peace & strength for you.
Join the club Jan, I have 7 cats too. Sure is a zoo here at times, but I love them all.
Thank you Judy for your kind words. I'm sure in time I MIGHT learn to forgive myself but not yet. I have 6 other cats to focus on now. Plus I just found a 9 month old cat up in the tree so it looks like I am adding number 7. Maybe Muffin sent her my way.....
I had to put my oldest cat (17 years)Dusty to sleep in 2007. She had severe OA and CHF. We tried several meds, including ones not approved for use in cats for the OA. Each brought her some relief for a time, but then would stop doing the job.
The last med we tried would make her drool from the taste and we'd have to fight to get it in her (she never took oral meds well), and we had to give her injections every other day for the accumulation of fluids (the injections she took very well).
Once we got the meds in her she'd feel great for a couple hours and play like she was many years younger, then be in a stuptor the rest of the day until next med time. She also had two times where she did this rapid breathing thing for a few minutes that scared the bejeebers out of me.
I had known the time was coming so in a way I had been 'pre-mouring' for a couple months, but when she started just picking at her food (def. not like her) urinated outside the box because she couldn't hold it from the diuretics and sleeping most of the day I knew it was near time.
I had asked the vet if it was time on a Thursday after she had a bad night. The vet said to try increasing one of the meds and we'd see what happened over the weekend.
We had a nice long weekend with her giving her pampering and letting her eat whatever she wanted when she'd eat. I took her to her favorite weekend cabin and she didn't even jog to the door like usual, and when we left she didn't stand up in her basket meowing as we left (which was not like her).
We opted to have her euthanized on that Tuesday after another scary fast breathing episode the night before.
In hindsight I wished I'd had her put to sleep a week earlier for her sake but I did enjoy that last weekend with her and took a ton of pix, and gave her lots of special attention which she seemed to like.
I did ok handing her over to the vet assistand who was a friend (I knew I couldn't keep calm for Dusty's sake if I was there) but when Dusty looked back at me and gave a single meow I lost it and basically ran from the building crying my eyes out.
I'm getting teary eyed just typing this even after almost 2 years since it happend.
Anyway, my point is that most of my family including hubby though I should have let her go 3 months sooner, but in my eyes I think maybe just a week sooner, but having that weekend helped me say goodbye properly and it made the decision much easier for me, but not easy.
I had 12 years with her, and 7 more than the vet thought she'd have when she had gotten pnemonia and didn't eat for 2 weeks in '97, even had the appt for euth. set up and she started eating the day we were to take her in. So I feel very fortunate for every year I got to spend with her.
I can't talk about her anymore right now or I'll be crying on my keyboard.
My next hardest decision is going to be the next oldest cat who is only 9 years old and has megacolon and most likely a small intenstinal malabsorbtion problem. Since he doesn't show signs of being old or ill, that one is going to be hard to choose when the time comes since he seems healthy and happy otherwise and is reasonably managed on meds for now.
I'll just have to cross that bridge when I come to it.
Sorry for the length of this post. -
Oh, Jan, I do believe that if your cat could do so, she would forgive you. Please please don't torture yourself any more, you did do what you thought was best, and you did it out of love. Your beloved kitty is not suffering now. We really CAN'T always know where hope leaves off--we are flawed, medicine is not certain, and our animals cannot speak to us in ways we always understand. It must be hard for vets to know sometimes whether to speak or not. I'm sure there are clients who NEVER want to hear it, but there are those who need that gentle clarification; he should have offered you that help.
It's a terrible responsibility, but I have to believe that even when we make mistakes, the world is better because we love these creatures. Our own surely is; don't trade away those twenty years of love and happiness you gave each other for this last sad time. Even if it might have been better for you and for the cat to let it go sooner, that doesn't negate the love you offered her, especially during all those happy years you had together. Forgive yourself; you will know more if there is a next time, and in any case if you had had help with this one, it might have gone differently. You did the best you knew how, and you did it because you loved her.
I want to cry. I waited too long and I hate myself for it. My 20 year old cat got sick in August. To make a long story short, I had to force feed her, give her shots of potassium, fluids under the skin, etc. I kept hoping things would improve. She was my baby. I never had kids but she was the closest I would ever get and 20 years is a long time. On the day I made the decision, I was on the way to the vet with her in my lap and she died before we got there. I was driving and when I think of how it all went down I want to cry. It was not peaceful for her, or me. It was horrible. I know now I waited way too long. I hope she forgives me.
My vet was very noncommital as to what I should do. He more than likely knew it was time way before but he knew I would try anything and everything first. He never gave his opinion one way or the other. I wished he had. I wished he had told me it was time way before it happened. In my heart I think he felt it but would not voice it. -
Interesting topic. I've yet to had to decide *on my own* (thus far I've never had to make the call for an animal that was not a "family" pet with my parents. Unfortunately though, at some point in the not too distant future this may change.
Finances will play a bigger role than I wish they would, but with this economy (I know I won't be able to afford an internal medicine consult at MSU -- something my vet and I would both like, as it is unclear just what is going on)... I have quite a bit of background, and then I do kind of have a question about one scenario that a euthanasia situation may come about.
The dog is basically okay right now, though she has waxing and waning episodes, sometimes where she's feeling quite poorly for a week or more, and sometimes just a high temp and maybe acting a little off. Right now, she's her normal self most of the time. We're sure it has to be something to do with the abdomen -- ever since this has started in November it has been painful to palpation. One of the kidneys looks funny on ultrasound, but we're not sure that's the only involvement. It was thought that the kidney was infection-prone, which seemed to be supported by improvement when starting antibiotics, but on one episode she did not improve within a couple days of the antibiotics and it took a bit over a week, and she's had episodes where she'll get better without antibiotics. So my vet thinks there's something inflammatory going on but not necessarily infection (plus two urine cultures have come back with no growth). We're wondering if something else might be going on besides a strange looking kidney (not that that can't be causing problems, but we're thinking that may just be part of the puzzle). Nera's a one year old German Shepherd but is very small. You might think she was 5 or 6 months old by her size.
The other day I called to talk to my vet. Sometimes she has a fever but acts normal. Sometimes she acts a little off with no fever. Sometimes she acts a little off, with fever, and we think she'll have an episode for at least a week and then she'll get better. Just odd. One option we talked about is exploratory surgery, spay (that's on the back burner because we don't know what else is going on and we don't want to mess things up by putting her through surgery, however routine, when all this other stuff is going on, but if we're going to open the abdomen we might as well do that since I'd like to anyway), biopsy that one kidney, and possibly biopsy other organs that might look like they should be biopsied. She said ultrasound can look inside the organs (it showed the left kidney is deformed and all other organs look good), but she said you're still not looking grossly at it and that may yield more information. We'd talked before about doing a necropsy if we lose her but if we can figure it out while she's still alive that would be good. That way if we find something terminal, the decision is at least a bit easier, in that I'd know it was untreatable thus leaving the "when" question the only unanswered one. And if something treatable is found, at least this way we're finding out before the horse is already out of the barn (as in the case of necropsy). I think a necropsy is likely if we can't do the exploratory before death because darn it, I want some answers.
The vet told me how much this surgery is likely to cost, and if Nera cooperates and doesn't get in a now or never situation too soon, I think I can save up and do it around November. I hadn't figured this out on the phone, but did tell my vet that it would be a bit of time for me to save up, and she said of course if she stops having episodes we may consider not doing it. If Nera can't wait, or if things get too frequent and her quality of life becomes too negatively affected, then some dreaded decisions may have to be made even without the exploratory.
Right now the plan is to monitor the temp at least once a day, if it is elevated do it again in the evening, and just see if we can figure out a pattern to her episodes.
I'm not sure I could euthanize without a sign -- a clear indication she's ready, whether or not we figure out a diagnosis. Finances are likely to play a role (I know I really can't see an internist even though I *really* want to). And while she's my dog and I have to make the call, she lives at my parents' house due to the no dog policy where I live (I never would have acquired her, but my parents breed GSD's and she was very sick early in life with something apparently unrelated, and would have been put down if I hadn't intervened to give her a chance...when it *seemed* like she'd be a healthy dog my parents said she could be my dog and live at their house). I tend to hang out at the house when she's sick. Anyway, one factor that may enter in is I may be pressured to make a decision (unfortunately I don't feel as I can be so trusting of my parents' opinions as some might be able to of theirs...maybe trusting isn't the right word but I just don't feel that I can comfortably decide based upon their opinions and therefore may feel pressured). So a few different factors that may enter in.
Wow, that was a big ramble. I do have a question and would like to know how Dr. Khuly and/or others might respond. I've heard that sometimes vets go in for exploratory and recommend euthanizing the patient in OR without waking them up. I know the gist is if they need to be put down, it may make more sense to just do it while they're under anyway to prevent suffering. I get that. But that would be a horror story for me. A must for me is that if she has to be euthanized that I am at her side. I know they give pain meds to all surgical patients -- if the vet does do an exploratory and find ssomething that causes her to recommend immediate euthanasia, how acceptable would it be to have her go ahead and wake her up and keep her comfortable until I arrive? Or if she's basically okay before going into OR, how acceptable would it be to go ahead and recover her, take her home, and wait for the sign that she's ready? I'll likely be asking my vet this as well but wondered what folks here might have to say.
I've had to decide to put down five of the eight cats I've lost (I have five living ones now). First one was a lovely, brilliant cat with feline idiopathic vestibular neuropathy (I think I got that right--it was many many years ago). The thing I learned from that one was that (for me, anyway) the only thing worse than possibly deciding too soon, was to know I had decided too late. That this exquisitely special creature suffered more and longer than he should have because I couldn't figure out what was best for him, rather than for me. Where and when does hope morph into denial? I watch much more carefully for that now. And I expect my vet to help me with that--a selfish or thoughtless vet can make it much harder to see that. A good one will at least try to help you see it.
I still have some discomfort with my decision about the most recent one, because there was never an actual diagnosis, just months of relentless decline with vet visits, tests, more tests, worry, and still more tests...so there's a part of me that wonders if I did the right thing or if I should have somehow tried harder. And I supose part of the doubt is just that it's the most recent, and so still painful, episode. But I always come back to knowing that when I did decide, it was precipitated by that unmistakeable change in his eyes--there just came a day when I looked into them, and he was just not fully there anymore. I can't explain it but it was as clear as the whiskers on his beautiful little face. My only job then was to recognize it, acknowledge what it meant, and do what was best for him. To the best of my poor ability to understand what that was.
Faith: I deal with this constantly. But in many cases the veterinarian doesn't even hear about it. I've even heard of cases where the veterinarian was blamed after one half of the marriage unit brought in the pet for euthanasia without ever having told the other it was going to happen. (So you know, if both names are on the intake form we don't tend to think twice about it unless things seem suspicious--which has happened to me before).
From my limited point of view (never having had anyone to disagree with me), I see no way around it other than to discuss it early on in the disease process and hash it all out before it gets critical. But there will always be disagreements and it generally means that one person has to watch the pet suffer and/or die without the benefit of an escape hatch. It's horrible.
One issue I can already see is likely to happen with my pets is different views/opinions with my husband as to when to euthanize or not. I think I am more emotionally in tune with my dog and cats feelings and will get a sign when it's time to let go. My husband is more sensitive to his own feelings of discomfort around illness and injury. I'm not saying he's wrong or "bad," but I will ultimately be the one to decide and it will cause tension in our relationship. Anyone have any advice around when 2 people have different beliefs about euthanization timing?
Quite a timely article. I have been struggling all week with my decision to euthanise my lab mix, Audrey. It was the first time I have ever had to euthanise one of my own healthy pets because of a behavior issue. After severely injuring one pet and several near misses despite behavior modification and medications, I had no other real choice. Isolating her and confining her would not allow her to enjoy most of her favorite things to do (like chasing birds on the beach). Thank you Chuck for the list idea, it helps.
Many years ago I attended a seminar on pet loss and grieving and have used what I learned there both for myself and the many clients I have helped over the years. When you are having to deal with a chronic disease, or a situation when you have to decide when it's time for euthanasia, it helps to do this:
Keep a daily journal, and when out of 7 days, there are 3 bad days and 4 good days, that is the time for that tough decision. Do not wait until there are 3 good days and 4 bad days. You owe your precious companion the love and dignity to die with dignity. I have been able to do that and make that choice 4 times in my life. Twice, I have been faced with sudden, critical issues where I did not have the time to journal, but as Jim and Rene said, the more prepared you are, the easier it is...but it is never easy.
I like the list that Chuck made too, as it is along the same lines.
When we live with a beloved pet, just as in many life situations, we tend to remember the good times and the bad times fade in our memory. By making a list and putting some thought into it, the task makes us look at what we miss as the days and weeks pass.
Thank you for this excellent post. It's a timely one for my family. And for me, the more information on 'end of life' care and options, the better.
It's funny, before I had to deal with the FIP, I felt I knew when it was time. The FIP changed that, simply because of the nature of the disease. The first cat that came down ill pretty much crashed and were dead in a few days...no choices to make there. But as time went on and we moved from wet to dry cases, it was a little more complicated.
I have euthanized pets due to age. My first cat was 19 when we euthanized her. She was diabetic, had been treated for hyperthyroid, and finally just due to old age, didn't get up or out of the chair anymore and was incontinent. It seems right and it felt right, and I didn't have regrets.
I euthanized two cats that had HCM and threw clots. That was horrible. They were both in pain, the clots unexpected, the timing on the very fast side of things. Despite knowing it was the right thing to do, I doubted, and rethough the decision for months.
I can give too many more examples...I have moved to a new place now. Now I spend the last few days with a dying animal, loving, just sitting quietly, and if there is no obvious signs of pain and suffering, I allow nature to take it's course. It's right for me , right now...
I trust my vet...if he said it was time to euthainze, I would take his advice, I know he dislikes doing it as much as I do.
It seems like the most humane, but it IS a big responsibility and a hard decision. It is the finally act of love and the final gift you can give some pets.
This topic is one that really sucks! Your article is good but letting go of a family member is hard. The thing I personally do to gauge when "it's time" is to make a list of 3 to5 things that the dog used to LOVE to do, it varies by dog obviously but here's an example.
1. Swimming
2. Retrieving in the back yard
3. Hiking
4. Tug games
5. Eating
Now if your dog is in pain but is very good at hiding it and is just less active I think we tend to hold on sometimes a bit too long, even ignoring the fact that they are in pain. But if they are in pain, don't move around a lot and don't like to do any of their favorite activites anymore. Well that isn't much of a life is it? I know for sure it's going to be VERY VERY hard to let my current Chocolate Male Lab go when it's time(he's only 17 months), we've grown really attached. And he's just so handsome :P (shameless plug incoming)
And couldn't you have picked a different picture for this article, makes me even more sad!
I've had the responsibility of ending the suffering of two of my beloved dogs.
The first was a 14 month old GSD with a terminal illness (Muccopolysacridosis) . I ensured that the short life she had was pain free and as high a quality as possible. The day I could not meet those two needs, I helped her leave. In this situation, I found out she was terminal at 4 months of age. So I had a lot of time to prepare. My vet and I had many discussions on when the right time would be and I trusted her to let me know when it was time to stop fighting.
The second was my 8.5yr old Rottweiler. He had intestinal cancer. I made the decision to euthanize him the day the test came back positive that it had reached his lymph nodes. My vet told me we could support him for another few weeks if I wanted to, but why? Would it have been for me or for him? At that point he had pretty much stopped eating and his quality of life had dwindled away. He was my heart dog, and losing him still has a profound impact on me. But making that decision that day was not difficult. To do otherwise would have been selfish and cruel.
So the answer for me, is that they were a combination of prevention of further suffering and knowing the time had come.
We are able to give our pets a gift that we cannot share with our human loved ones. The assurance that their final hours will have dignity and be as pain free as possible. It is in my opinion, the final act of love and devotion we show them in gratitude for all they have given us.
What would you do [if it was your dog/cat/Mom/Dad]?
I learned a while ago with human doctors that this is the magic question. For many it seems to snap them out of their automatic clinical response and really empathize with the patient / family. It can lead to a moment of blunt honesty that is sometimes hard to get in end-of-life medical situations.
The first cat I ever had euthanized, on my own, was for Reason #6, I couldn't stand to see him suffering anymore.
I'd adopted this cat, whom I named Castor, and his brother (named Pollux) from the local animal shelter on my 13th birthday. The year was 1981. We weren't a wealthy family, and back then it really wasn't the done thing to consider spay/neuter as a serious option. Shelters didn't spay/neuter pets before they were adopted out, especially tiny shelters like the one in our rural area.
So with that back story, I'll fast forward to the year 1990. Pollux had become one of the inevitable casualties of the road while I was still in high school, but Castor remained alive, wandering around, doing his tomcat thing (spraying, fighting, mating). In the last year or so, my mother had reported to me that Castor was getting mouth sores that would get better with antibiotics and then return when the antibiotic treatment was discontinued. Finally, after the fourth round of this, the vet suggested a test for a relatively new disease called feline immunodeficiency virus. Castor came back positive. At that point we all knew it was pretty much a matter of time.
When I came home from college for my summer break, Castor was really sick. He lay on the couch and rarely moved--even to eat or go to the litterbox. I went to pet him and he growled and snapped at me. That was it. I was heartbroken at his pain and angry at my mother that she had allowed him to remain in an obvious state of suffering. In tears, I told my mother that I couldn't let him go on like this anymore and I would take him to the vet to be put to sleep. I called and made the appointment, I took him in, and sobbing like I'd never cried before, I held him as the vet gave him the injection. The last words he heard from me were "I love you, Castor."
I drove home from the vet and sat in the car and cried for half an hour.
I've been fortunate not to have had to make that decision about any of my own animal companions since then, but I have supported other family members and friends as they've struggled with this decision.
What would I do in the future? If it becomes necessary to make that decision, I pray that I'll err on the side of compassion.
This morning our 13 year old male poodle woke up as usual, went out to potty and played around for a few minutes, came in and ate some breakfast and lay under the dining table. I was getting ready to say goodbye and noticed he was further under the table and realized he could not stand up and had problem breathing. I called my husband to come and check on him - he immediately picked him up and he carried him to the car - we went to the Pet hospital. They gave him oxygen, IV and medication. His heart stopped beating for a few minutes and he just lay there staring and not blinking his eyes. He had not been ill and a few days earlier he was given iron because of a low blood reading. Everything happened so fast, we knew he was older and we had prepared ourselves some time ago that one day this would happen. Because he showed no signs of being ill, this was the first time we had ever seen him like this. His coloring was pale, his gums and tongue was pale, he was bleeding from his right ear and mouth, red blood splotches started appearing under his skin all over his body and his eyes were kind of red where they should have been white. All this happened in just a few minutes. He was just lying there. We were told his condition was getting worse and if we decided to have him admitted to the Animal Hospital he would be placed in intensive care - which we did not want. My husband told me that when he carried him to the car, he was lifeless. We knew we did not want him to suffer anymore and agreed to have him euthanized. We stayed and rubbed him and talked to him and comforted him until we felt it was time to go. I lost my best friend today - he was always right there by my side - no matter what.
Hello All! I know that this post is old, however it touches me deeply. I'm familiar with having to euthanize a pet only because I have an animal loving mother that thoroughly believes in not allowing any animal to suffer. This was not the practice that I used with my 14 year old cocker spaniel. I fought with family and friends as well as my husband to avoid letting him go. Because of this, I constantly feel guilty-even though after 2 years, I finally said goodbye to him. Regardless of the logic behind it, the selfishness of keeping him with me still hurts me to this day. I constantly say to myself that it was the best thing I could have done, however, I still cry a month and a half later that I no longer have my co-pilot. I don't have children and I considered him my own. I had him for 12 years and he was a support to me through an abusive relationship as well as other times in my life when I was down. I always knew that no matter what, I had my "kid" that loved me unconditionally. My husband didn't understand my relationship with my beloved pet truly until he was gone. Nothing can ever make euthanasia easy, but anyone in my position would feel that way. I know deep down that the right thing was done, however, it doesn't soften the blow of loosing one of the best friends you can ever have.
My husband and I had talked about hoe we would know it was time to let our beagle mix Betsy go. When she could no longer jump up onto "her" chair, or onto our bed. When she was no longer interested in food. When she just couldn't get around. We weren't counting on her very odd behavior changes. She would pace. We have a house where you can walk all the way around--from the front hall through the kitchen, dining room, living room, and back to the front door, which she did incessantly. When she wasn't doing this she was twining herself through the legs of the dining room table and chairs, sometimes getting stuck. And she would stand in corners, seemingly unable to figure out how to get out. It was just so sad! Then one day she couldn't get up on her chair. We knew her kidneys were failing, so decided her time had come, and I took her in to be euthanized.
I wish I had talked to the vet about Betsy's symptoms when I took her in because it was only a couple weeks later that I heard about canine dementia! The symptoms are very like the ones Betsy was displaying--I so wish we had known that. We would have tried her on meds to see if they helped. Surely we wouldn't have extended her life for years, but if she could have had even a couple more happy months, it would have been good.
The moral of my story? Talk to your vet! Explain why you think the time is here, discussing any new symptoms, etc. I wish I had done that for our Betsy!
I just lost my puppy yesterday morning with suspected Parvo.. its the most heart renching thing ive ever had to go through but my poor maya just wasent looking better.. you know its right to let them go when the vet tells you you can fetch her to take her to the daily clinic and then to phone back and tell you she actually is lifeless and theres no energy left in her.. For me i believe that seeing is believing and although i didnt get to see her in her last stages of the illness the night before when dropping her off i looked into her eyes and they were glazed over and she had no energy.. Any animal should never go through suffering especially when a 4 vets tell you theres no life left in her.. they did give me the choice to carry on treatment and maybe she would pull through but i wasent prepared to let her "try" pull through an absolutely horrible disease that she had been trying to fight for 4 days already.. she is now happy and so am i.. i just want to tell anyone who reads this story and is going through a loss like i am or is looking for the right answers like i did on what to do, i promise you it will hurt and it will feel so horrible but thats your emotions against your poor puppies physical pain.. its not worth the wait for your puppy/dog. I promise you they will be happier and it was the kindest thing my family and the vets that had treated her and loved her as much as we did, could do for her.
I've been there, done that, it's heartbreaking but it's also the most loving thing you can do. First time was with my cat, Patches, who had cancer. She was 14, and by the time we found it, it started to spread to her other leg. At that point, she wasn't in any distress so we had time. I knew as soon as I found out the diagnosis it was likely there was only one way her story would end. However, I had the remainder of the spring and the summer with her, I treasured my time and also prepared myself for the day when we said goodbye. That fall, after finishing breakfast, my dad went downstairs while my mom told me it was time. She told me "Look at Patches", and she was crying. I knew right then what she was going to say. The cancer had really spread, but the sign that it was time? Patches wasn't eating. This was a cat who ate all the time. She purred as we hugged her goodbye, but not the same exuberant purrs she used to make. They were subdued. I think she was telling us "It's OK"
Has any one had to Euthanize there dog because of Pancreas Cancer? Lost him 3/14/2014 thank you for any help
I lost my 6 year old Boxer to gastric leiomyosarcoma with other complications in January. We went to the vet on 1/3/14 as he just didn't seem to be himself. They did not find anything on any of the test and sent us to a specialist. We say the specialist on 1/8/14 and their testing also showed nothing. So on 1/9/14 we went into surgery thinking it was some kind of stomach infection and we were very hopeful. The specialist came out while he was still on the table and told me he had a large tumor that went ran the entire length of the top of his stomach and was starting to block his small intestines, he also had 3 tumors branching off the main tumor and his entire stomach lining was also affected. There was absolutely no treatment that would save him. He asked permission to euthanize him. I was in shock. He was my best friend and constant companion as my husband travels for his job. After making sure again there was absolutely nothing that could be done, I even told him I did not care what it cost, he told me cost was not the issue, it was the humane thing to do. I finally muttered okay. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do and part of me died that day as well. I still cry constantly. He missed meeting his new little boxer brother by two weeks. It is bitter-sweet. My heart goes out to you sad momma as I to am a very sad momma. All we can do is know we loved them to the fullest when they were with us and did all we could. It doesn't make it easier but makes it bearable. They would not want us to be so sad is what I am told and it is true he did not like me to cry. So I wish I could tell you it gets easier but I can't because I am still struggling myself. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Hi. New to the site and wanted all to know I and feeling very sad at the moment. This morning I had to put my Baby Girl to sleep. That's her name btw. She was having trouble standing and could hardly get up. Had trouble's going to potty and was not eating. The most difficult part was telling her goodbye. Watching her go to sleep was tough but I knew in my heart that she would not be hurting anymore. I could of went to a specialist but I don't have the money for that. She will be missed by everyone that knew her but by me most of all. She was 7 years old .... Rest In Peace Baby Girl Love and Miss you
my 9 yr. old cocker has lymphoma, her glands are the size of walnuts from the throat area to her ears, her groin area is the same. The breathing is shallow and sometimes it sounds like fluid in the breaths. Sleeps more than before, not as active. Eats almost as much but constipation sometimes affects her. Up 3 times at night, goes a little, stares then comes in. When is it time? Sometimes I think its for me and not her. When?
Such a horrible decision. My husband lost his beloved boxer to lymphoma back in 2005. Evil disease. I hope you've found your answer by now. Sending peace and love.
I wish there was a way to directly thank Dr. Coates for this article. I found it yesterday when I was searching for answers to the question I've had to ultimately answer myself five times in my life so far - the question I had to answer again yesterday. Dr. Coates' words, "Sometimes it's better to be a week too early than a minute too late," were exactly the ones I needed to hear. My 13 year old German Shepherd mix, Sadie, is failing quickly yet still has the odd "good day" which throws my decision-making meter off kilter. After reading this article yesterday, I made the call and our vet will be coming to the house this week to end Sadie's suffering. It doesn't matter how many times I'm faced with this decision, it never gets easier. This article gave me some much needed peace. Again, thank you, Dr. Coates.
Hi everyone. I have had a dog for the past 14 years. he is a combination lab and Rhodesian. We rescued him from a pound- and he has been the best dog ever. He is a bit over 14 and is not doing so well. He still has a great appetite, but can't walk well. His back legs are very weak. A few times he has slipped going down the stairs to the cellar and out to his dog yard which he gets to via a dog door in he cellar. He has been a great independent dog and has always been very clean until lately. He has cataracts and cannot see well anymore and cant hear well either. For the past two months he steps in his poop constantly outside in his yard. I think he just cant smell it or see it. Then he drags it inside all over the living room rug and kitchen floor or bedroom carpets. It's really taken a toll on me and I am near wits end. My daughter and I adopted him as I said 14 years ago- and she insists he is OK and I should not put him down until he show signs of impending death. I disagree. I do not want to come home one day and find him fallen down the cellar stairs one day with a broken skull and blood everywhere. He has fallen a few times but not all the way down the stairs. It's too damp and cool for him to live in the cellar while I am at work anyways. He cannot play ball anymore- and if I take him for a walk he can walk around a half mile and then cannot walk anymore. He can no longer jump into the trunk of my SUV anymore- not that I mind lifting him. He has black tumors all over his belly and a large one under where his testicles used to be. The vet said he may have cancer- but at his advance age she did not feel it was worth spending thousands to have the tumors removed and blood tests and cancer drugs- he is just too old and I honestly am a single parent and cannot afford the treatments anyways. I love my pup with all my heart- but don't know what to do. I think maybe its selfish that I get so mad when I come home and find dog poop plasterd all over the rugs and floors- but that also is a sign he is losing his ability to stay clean and prosper too. I feel it would be best for him and me to euthanize him at the end of the summer- I don't believe he can take another new England winter and I cannot take poop everywhere much longer. Any thoughts?
My heart goes out to you, Jengler, as I had to make this very decision myself last week with my 13 year old German Shepherd mix. I found this article very helpful last week and the doctor's words, "Better a week too soon than a minute too late," were what helped me make my final decision to let Sadie go. You make valid points for letting him go throughout your post and I think the fact this article is entitled "10 ways YOU know ..." answers your question. YOU know your pet best. YOU know how life used to be for your family and what it's now become and YOU know whether or not it's best to continue on like this. I'm sure it's hard for your daughter to let go but the best interest of all three of you has to be considered. It can't be fun for your dog to know he's making a mess and displeasing you either. My best wishes to you all as you make your decision.
Thanks for your reply. My dog is lying right at my feet right now. As I look at him he is still happy. I still believe at the end of the Summer I will have to make a hard decision. He just ate a good meal..he loves spending days while I am at work with my daughter's cat- they are best friends. But- he as I said has tumors on his body in multiple places, fatty cysts, and a half dollar sized cyst/tumor on his temple. It kills me to see this. He still has great will to live at the moment. I am still pretty sure I will have to say goodbye to him this Autumn. I don't want to wait too long and find him dead or worse. Telling my daughter will break her heart. She is 25 and lives with me Fridays- Mondays and does not see him everyday like I do- she is in college and does not have to clean poop everywhere or find vomit all over the carpets or cellar. When the time comes I will not tell her- I will just bring him down because I do not want a big emotional scene or fight. I will just call her and tell her he was extremely sick and I knew it was time. She might be pissed at me for awhile but she is not his care taker- even if it is "her" dog as she calls him- I am the one who has cared for him all his life. He is my best friend and always will be.
Sounds like you're finding your answers. And you have time to enjoy your best friend and do what you can to make his last months the best they can be for both of you. It's cool he has a feline friend too! I bet your daughter will understand in time as well. Take care and let me know how you're doing when it's time if you'd like. [email protected] Again, best wishes for all. Melissa
We have a rescue tabby that is 17 years old. Her littermate died 6/8/2013 from cancer. The remaing cat, Tiger Lily, has been taking medicine for hyperthyroidism forma few years. She acts OK but she eating very little. She weighed 11 pounds at her peak but is now down to 5.5 pounds. She is still drinking well and lies in my wife's lap. It is getting very hard to watch her waste away. We have tried some appetite increasing pills from the vet with little luck. If we lived in CO, I would try marijuana on her to see if that would help. She can still walk, jump onto chairs, etc. The vet says she is in no pain. I hate to euthanize her but we have decided to do so if she gets too weak to walk. Are we hanging on too long?
A very sad day today that I had to let me special baby girl go. She has suffered from Cushings disease, arthritis, thyroid and collapsed wrists. I had not concern about the money for her healthcare but her quality of life was impacted.
Over the last few weeks she has been struggling to walk and she fell off the deck into a plant pot. I could tell she was not comfortable and struggling to get our coordination in check.
This morning she had a seizure and it was without doubt one of the most awful experiences to watch someone you love go through such misery. It appears she may have had a few whilst we didn't see her which must have been awful for the poor girl.
I took her to the vet immediately after witnessing the seizure and the Vet ran some blood test and compared to a couple of weeks ago. She said from her opinion Tasha was heading for renal failure and anything we do now would be for sustaining for weeks not months and she may suffer during this time.
In tears I had to make the call, it was time to let my baby go. I held her as she passed and I was happy it was so peaceful and quick. I am now going through the grieving process and obvious guilt on whether I made the right decision or not....it's too late anyway as she is gone and at rest.
It is the hardest decision I have ever made in my life but I need to believe as sad as life is without her, it was the right decision for her....not me.
I had to do the same thing to my 17 year old girl. She had hyperthyroid and over the years, the medicine to treat it caused kidney failure. It was the hardest decision I had to make. My vet said it was the final act of kindness. It has been over 2 months and I still cry and feel guilty even though she had stopped eating and could barely stand.
It's great that we have the choice and available guidance to end our pet's suffering at an appropriate time, it's the kind and compassionate, (although very difficult), thing to do. It's too bad we have laws against showing the same level of compassion for fellow humans. Even if there weren't laws to prevent it, most wouldn't do it because we always want loved ones to be with us just a little bit longer. (We want our pets to be with us a little bit longer too, but we can more easily come to terms with releasing them from their suffering than we could a human family member). Sometimes ending the suffering is the best, (and only humane), thing to do but we don't extend that courtesy to the people we love the most. If you've ever watched someone you love suffer and die of cancer or some other painful, debilitating disease you may be able to appreciate what I'm trying to say, especially in the final days or weeks.