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I stare at my ceiling, I start to wonder, why am I not healing? Then it dawns on me, The nightmare clip starts to roll. I shake and shiver and wince at every little thing. I'm scared to death, What does this all mean? I start to cry, I feel as if I might die. Then I grab my blade, The tears come quicker. My breath starts to quicken, My grip on the blade makes my knuckles turn white. In the mirror is where I see that my ivory skin is now blotchy and red. I tell myself, "This may be the last time, if you finally cut deep enough." So I try my best not to make a sound As I sit up in bed and hold my wrist out in front of me. I count to three, One, I put the blade to my wrist. Two, I start to add pressure. Three, I yank the blade across my skin, It pierces and then I start to bleed. I suddenly want it to stop, But there's no going back now. I wonder why it came to this, I know nobody cares about me, I know nobody is going to forget me. Quietly I say, "I'm sorry." But nobody is there, No one will ever be. I start to fade out of this world, My addiction would finally be gone, And so would I. I was lost, Lost and angry. Suddenly, it was gone, I woke up screaming. The pain was oh-so real.
His mind has all the meaning of a madman that is screaming Tortured and tormented, a life lived to be lamented Drained and defeated, his family finally retreated Leaving him believing that he was beyond redeeming The doctors sent in spoke of hope and healing The drugs they administered only made him more demented Cemented is the feeling that his life is just an echo Of an endless, timeless, all-consuming screaming His best friend is a disproportioned bird, appropriately named buddy Whose monotonous motion in drinking is somewhat soothing to his being Though not potent enough to stop, the persistent pounding of the screaming Often he stares into the emptiness of nothingness, contemplating the beauty of its existence Only to find his mind is drowning in a confounding conundrum he can't quite define It's hard to be philosophical when your mental testicles have fallen to the proper level So sometimes he whispers tongue twisters until his brain blisters Madmen mask madness in the meticulous mastery of mindless tasks Buddy was telling a troubling tale, of a dragon drunk off of some dwarven ale Who through two days, threw up flames and burnt down the tavern and town When the door to his room opened with a plume of plum perfume In stepped an inept and unkempt nurse named Nancy Her green eyes and fiery red hair caused his heart to flutter and flair with fancy She had quite the quiet voice and was quick to trip over her own two feet A bit naïve, she would easily believe anything she had heard or seen He knew he would make her his, no matter the time nor energy It was easy for him to pretend to be prim and proper Just a mask to don in order to dupe his doctor Circumventing the system that couldn't save him He was as he always had been and would be In constant pain and agony with no desire for sympathy Just in need of some freedom from his prison and medication Meditation and mantras had given him the sentiment of a design On how to inhibit the screaming, and maybe even end it Four years plotting and planning the perfect moment of promise A fire formed from a single flamed fueled from an accelerant It raced through the halls, up the walls, over the ceiling, killing all the residents Eighty-eight inmates and staff burned alive in what felt like an instant Such little time to search through the bodies, looking for a single person He found her on the fourth clinging to the bathroom faucet He lost his virginity to the burnt corpse of Nurse Nancy To his amazed mind, he was astonished to find, the screaming was silenced just a note I cannot reduce the font so the lines fit without overlapping as they do in stanza two
Life and cigarettes burn to fast. We waste are time. So within the moment you bask. A pretty face has to age. Every story meets it's final page. When life breaks you over its cost. Then you'll sing a lullaby to the lost. The lights in the street hide all but the truth my dear. You can act. But you can never mask your fear. In dark rooms you sell all but your soul. A wicked moment a stolen encounter. All things take there toll. That sweet face has tuirned hard your so warm to be cold. A secret that the bitter have already told. Can you wash away there stench as from the past you are tossed. In dark corners blood stained angles sing a lullaby to the lost. Is this hell or a nightmare that knows no end. A cell to most. To others the only refuge inwhich they can depend. she falls to the floor a lost look needle in arm. Most will rememeber a doomed fool. Others her wreckless charm. She was a junkie and a easy lay. More bones are broken. Over words others say. She sold flesh but payed the ultimate cost. In a dingy corner of th world. Were the angles sing a lullaby to the lost.
Marquees bright, and neon lights, where crowds line up for movie night We're holding hands, we're in 'The Strand', red velvet carpets guide us in Popcorn smokes, .. drinking cokes,... cracking jokes with Bing and Hope Lamour's along, in her sarong,... With luscious lips, and cigarettes, She fills ashtrays with smoking tips, and tosses guys like poker chips 'Movietone' intrudes with news, which puts us in somber mood Third-Reich goosesteps march again, ... an evil presence in the wind... Cary Grant , (a news reporter), loves his girl, and his typewriter "His Girl Friday", plot is witty, sometimes crazy. But Cary loves this ditzy lady.... William Powell and Mryna Loy..., Asta barks, and finds a toy, ...a ploy? a clue?,.... ...an earring gold. The mystery is clearly solved.-- A crimson sun, is rising cold! Movietone in black and white,... graphic scenes, where soldiers die Another night, suspense on chart. 'Correspondent' , Joel McCrea. Saves Lorraine, and claims the Day. BUY WAR BONDs !! They'll pave the way Bogart, Bergman bring to light, a valiant flght , within their grasp Airline ticket, in her hand, they must part, and do what's right, no questions asked ---- It's movie night, but you aren't here, a troopship took you far from here Allied troops are moving tanks. I wait for you..God give me strength I'm in the Strand, within the dark, there's no one here to hold my hand I'm all alone...........I heard the news....................You left it all in Anzio _____________________________________ For Contest Chopped III Sponsored by Craig Cornish 11/23/14
All That Refuse To See Your ears shut wide eyes up tight a menagerie sits in absent light Time and reason are out of sight stonecold now is courage's might! Your eyes embrace a newfound cave even logic can not your mind save in blindness you are now a slave treading a path to shallow grave! Your screams raise no great alarm dead plants harvest on your farm No more shall love be your charm chained legs match each dead arm! Your last days filled with cries fruits set onto your many lies Dark clouds moan in your skies Heart rots as soul slowly dies! Your death was an incoming tide bled from arrogant false pride Fait accompli no man can hide none succeed, many have tried! Robert Lindley 01, 23, 1979
Her paintbrush is a razor, Her canvas, her wrists, "I deserve the pain." She shrugs and insists. One day the brush will push down, And it will cut so deep, That this girl will fall into an eternal sleep. She doesn't remember how she started What brought her interest to this, How do you discover, that cutting is your form of bliss? No one would have guessed that she does it. No one would have considered this one. This girl is forever fighting a battle, that she thinks the demons have won. Her artwork is all over her, Her beauty is on her thighs, and if you look in her old trash, you'll find her letters of goodbye. Her masterpiece is quite disturbing, Her masterpiece is a little gory, Her artwork is her escape. Let me tell you her story. She compares herself to every person, She is compared to each girl. She thinks she's hideous, And there's this boy that is her world. She was bullied and picked on, She was teased from head to toe, Hard to believe that her best friend, was her one and only foe. Then later she disliked every little thing, Her body, face and even her mind, Soon she saw she was a failure, and it was just in due time... That this girl couldn't take it anymore She'd decided she was done living this, So one day she went home and decided to end it. Everyday for multiple days, This girl would try to drown, Hard to believe this girl at school, never ever wore a frown. Sometimes she'd just fall asleep crying, Praying that she'd be enough, Because she didn't want to leave her family. She knew about their sweet love. This girl found hope in small things eventually, She soon would see this beautiful light, and find a REAL best friend, that helped her put up a fight. Her masterpiece soon was leaving, Her artwork was almost faded, and it gave her a sick feeling, the feeling of being jaded. She found a boy that actually loved her, And showed her love exists, And this boy too had a masterpiece, placed close to his wrists. He related to her and she related to him. She kissed his artwork and said he's not alone, When she cut herself it hurt him, Her masterpiece now wasn't just her own. Her masterpiece effected others, Her artwork wasn't just for herself, She now had people, who saw her cries for help. And then her family found out, So then they saw the art too, to them they were just scars, To her they were the truth. She's trying to be okay now, She thinks she might survive, Even though they didn't think to take away the knives.
She stands at the edge of the precipice, looking down towards her future. The last tears that she will ever cry, falling from her eyes, then falling into oblivion. She watches them drop as they disappear forever. Yet, she laughs in the face of death. Would it really matter if she took the leap? She has been forgotten by tomorrow. The wind blowing at her back, pushes her to the edge. Almost agreeing with her final decision, and encouraging her to jump. A thousand thoughts and memories racing through her mind. Her first day of school. Her tenth birthday party. The lonely, awkward days of her teenage years. The day she discovered poetry. The moment she first saw him. The day she thought that she was worth something. The day when all of that became a lie. Every memory that never made the pages of a history book. She has been forgotten by tomorrow. She exists to no one but herself. In the blink of an eye, she decides her fate. Her feet leave the ground, and yet, she did not fall. Out of nowhere he appeared, and carefully grabbed her hand. Pulling her back to reality, saving her from the brink of disaster. He held her, as her tears stained his jacket. Old tears of sadness, mixed with new tears of happiness. She was remembered by yesterday. Before she was forgotten by tomorrow.
In a new road, Rain will fall, Wind may blow, Swifting our woe. The road forever on and on, Many paths to choose, Many paths to take, Home behind, World ahead... Through the shadows, Through the night, Clouds going by, There we will lie, Very deep, Seeing shivered land, Seeing the dead seas... Through the edge, Miles to go, Singing by, Darkness rising, Vanishing light, Hollow flourishing, Going by, World ahead, Home behind... Rain may fall, Through the nightfall, Through the twilight, Through the dusk, Through the dawn, Beyond mountains, Beyond stones, Standing strong, Wandering lost, World ahead, Home behing, Paths on and on, 'Till the road comes along...
That disturbed child The teen girl with no friends, and is rejected by her loved ones She feels broken inside, like theres no other choice She takes the iron razor, she puts it to her arm and hopes the pain will fade, but in the end it only makes her feel worse She does this to herself not because she is sad, but because she doesn't think any one cares She thinks What if I put this razor to my throat, and ended my life Would they care then? She feels like no one cares What she doesn't realize is, if she died a river of tears would come, even faster then the blood would run from her If she only knew life can be brighter If she would only see, that she is loved That disturbed child, We miss her and theres no getting her back What could we have done Was there any changing her mind Only God knows
Her dark hair, laced with silver strands, cascaded once with sable glint, then lost (with drifting of the sands of time) the chasteness of its tint. It still grows long, but she has kept her dark hair laced with silver strands pulled back, attractively upswept, at times enwrapped in stylish bands. She misses days of few demands, the ragtop down, her locks wind-tossed. Her dark hair laced with silver strands reminds her now of all she's lost. . . She combs it out in dying light of dusk and dreams a lover's hands touch something soft as moon-streaked night, her dark hair, laced with silver strands.
Once bloomed a rose so young and fair With dark brown eyes and long black hair Beside her be a tall dark tree Whose branches stretch to smother thee Too close beside the shadowy bark That soon begins to leave its mark She cries for help, but none shall hear Her thorns too sharp, who'd dare go near? To save this rose, who'd risk their life? With naught to gain but pain and strife Alone, afraid, she lays to rest Her heart beats low inside her chest And with the hour growing near She sheds her final grieving tear And so the rose soon falls asunder Her final day, eternal slumber She lies beside the old dark tree The only one who mourns for thee
Don't ask me to apologize for being the monster inside I refuse to set any agony i have aside Don't ask me to torch out the fuse i have growing There is so much torment behind this face without anyone knowing Don't ask me to unmask this demon i enshrine deep in the dark It fuels my spirit, whats left of me creating a tiny spark Don't ask me to let go of the past All the exploitation has been passed Don't ask me to neglect the flashbacks you put into my head So many wounds on my arms from the times you made me bled Don't ask me to excuse all the sin you created Cause my heart is buried distant enough it has to be gated Don't ask me to uncoil and live a little For how many times you beat me till my bones became brittle Don't ask me to not dread all of this I'd have to count the times of deaths i'd nearly miss You've made me the monster now don't ask me to apologize
With shadows in the dark, Facing atrocities of the cold, Yet drenched in the sweat, I walk down the street Am bound to follow what others passed by, Crime it is as if else I try, Tears follow the path of my cheek, And it's the only way my eyes speak, Lips of mine when turn dry. I smile I really try to, To be happy as if I was made to, I speak of something I don't know But there's what my heart knows, That's what my eyes ponder, And that's what untold but true, Yes I know, Yes I do, I am missing me in me, Yes I know, Yes I do, I am missing being me……….
He was always so happy strong and bold. He'd give you the shirt off of his back. Tough. Independent. He had a rough life growing up through the depression, but like he always does, he got through it. He has two boys, of whom he is so proud. Moved from Regina, to Victoria. He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted. But ever since his wife died, he has not been the same. Sad Lonely Empty. But like he has always done, he got through it. Mind slipping, just a little forgetful. That's how it always starts out... But like always, he powered through it, until now... He is not the same person that I used to know. He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind. Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes. He likes to play the blame game, but we know he doesn't remember that it was him. He wakes up in the night shaking with pain, tears streaming down his face. There is nothing we can do, Oh well... Two more tylenol. Hold on to hope for as long as you can, It's only a matter of time now. He gets vocal, a very loud tone. He'll block you in your room and make false accusations But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him. Tick tock, tick tock... You can't handle the stress anymore you have to leave. Just hope for the best, maybe it will get better. Surprise, it doesn't. Your denial is foolish, everyone knows what happens next. Sedation Medication Anger Hurt All results of dementia
The sweetest sounds of burning trees A gentle stroking in the breeze The calm has lasted past the storm Cloudy visions, Satan's roar Too many sights have passed my way A time found only in the haze The softest screams are running bare My aching bones creak as I stare You walk a distance towards me The fall's eternal, can't you see? I'm a memory in your heart I whisper to you in the dark The battle's started at the end No one is coming to repent The sinners grab their wine from prey No judgment calling here to stay The sport is reckless to be told The one is laughing at his souls It falters nowhere to be sure The power grows forevermore Like a spirit in the wind I have no say in where you've been But cross the line to come to me And pay the price for ecstasy You walk a distance towards me The fall's eternal, can't you see? I'm a memory in your heart I whisper to you in the dark.
How can I be selfless without being used? How can I be demanding without being so rude? How can I open up without closing back down? How can I speak if you don't hear a sound? How can I trust without being betrayed? Yet how could I leave... even after you stayed? But how can you love me when I won't let you in? So many questions.... where do I begin? -------- Memories now blurred, flying through my mind…… Now, I'm trying to repress the days of being youthful and blind. Every morning I pull on my armor, right from within, Preparing for a war, that I intend, to win. If my heart is my comrade and my mind is the enemy, Then in the midst of this battlefield, Life is the remedy… --- Trying to stay sane, knowing that although this is temporary, nothing is vain… Learning that there is always a purpose and people will try to corrupt us, and bring you great shame… Being told that 'Victory isn't given to he who starts the race the strongest, but he who endures until the end.' Trying to suspend you from learning to depend... on yourself, instead making you depend on the wealth, Of someone who doesn't even know who he is, while you're grasping the stealth of your true identity, in your right hand, in your heart, the knowledge… Never been withheld … .. . Feeling the world come crashing down on you, compacting into a mist of air so cool, The breeze passing right through, right into the depths of your pores, to ensue, The burning and broken and fragile pieces of the inhabitants of the earth from your birth til' now.. Physically becoming everything that you breathe, touch, conceive, munch, perceive, every aroma... And every great or insignificant trauma, reflecting off your skin oh so temporarily, the mark so paper thin… Physically, THAT is what you are… Because we only see the physical, right? Yet, behind every movie is there not a director… a cast? And behind every painting is there not an artist, combining colors and lines so vast? And behind every child is there not a journey, a past? ... That you did not walk, yet you know that it's there, not by sight, scent, taste, touch, or hearing... But something inside you, that says it makes sense, KNOWS that all of that is there, KNOWING ... .. .
My heart was in such pain I felt like I was going to go insane I just don't know what to do And my eyes full of tears that distort my view I fell to my knees and felt the urge My muscle tighten and pin needles struck me like a surge My body was warm and with feelings so confused My mind felt sadness had fused I could not conquer my fears I just sat down and fell into tears When some close to you passes on It felt like a warmth has gone So I raised my hand towards a box that was empty with no tissue I first was embarrass and had a little bit of issue All my friends hugged me and said sorry for your loss So now I cry in my bed and toss April 14, 2013
She is the muse to her own sorrow; She is the digger of her grave. She is the painter of her ocean view and every fatal wave. She is the shadow of her Father; She is the darkness in your sight. She is the night without the stars surrounding pale moonlight. She is the music with no words; She is sweet love without the reason. She is your dreamer with submission cold by warmth with every season. She is your pet with cold intentions; She is your baby scared and shaken. She is the bold and pure- the lost and found, She is a soul awakened.
Yes you, and you, and you over there The nerve you all have, it's sickening What right do you have to leave this world? Why do you all die on me? What is life that you toss it away? Old and sick, humppph excuses I say I have had enough No one must leave Stop, I command time to STOP Are my tears not enough? You all conspire against me, I know To add me to your collection Of death Why? Why? Why? All your kind smiles, laughter and love You make the world shine, and give hope Only to disappear to the afterlife Is this not cruelty? I beg of you all, do not go I have not the strength to carry on Here, as you all dwindle away Leaving me to ponder my own mortality Alone, alone I sit, knowing romance will be kindled once more Death will come to offer me a final kiss Whom will hate me?
The tide rises within me soaked with failure's longing. The sea siren's reach, out across the land to me. The moon added its pull and speaks of not belonging. I am drawn on astral screams to the deep dark sea. small waves submerge my pale ankles to my knees -- gulls cry The weight of clothes so cumbersome impedes, arching down, I let go, each bit of cloth from me. Salt sea in, the salt sea out, my life concedes choosing to leave, this go round, in the deep dark sea. open eyes stare into a silty brown brine -- bubbles rise Sinking-down, passively, sadness abating Strands of silvered seaweed, chill, gently beckoning me my limbs entwined in death's sweet embrace abiding minnows greet me with a kiss, from the deep dark sea. starfish in her hair -- fog horn
(please read "Her Masterpiece Is Her Story" before reading the second part. It'll make more sense and probably be more enjoyable!) The girl who has beautiful scars, And the boy with marks of strength, Are now separated by distance, And that is causing some teenage angst. The girl wonders how the boy is doing. Her paintbrush calls her name. The two can't talk right now, And she feels she's to blame. The girl's best friend is lonely, And she isn't much better. The only way honesty is revealed, is through a heart felt letter. Her scars are fading away, Everyone knows her secret, so she can't add to the art. She's wishing she could draw more cuts, At night the voices in her mind take over her heart. Her masterpiece is disappearing, Her artwork is going away. "What caused you to do this!??!" her family asks. "I...I hate myself." is all she can say. She's trying to be okay, If not for herself then for her friends, If there's one thing she can't take, It's their fatal ends. But she doesn't know how the boy is, She doesn't know his feeling, Her mind is going crazy, Her sanity is reeling. Since she doesn't know how the boy is doing, Her anxious mind is filled with worry, Her demons have told her something. They're telling her the worst horror story. Her masterpiece is fading, I've told you this before. Her scars are going away, She wants to make more. But she doesn't make any. For the sake of those she loves. She restrains from her paintbrush. Even though it fits like a glove. Her story is continuing, Her painting isn't dry. But her canvas is even more, down upon her thigh. Maybe she'll erase some drawings. She's trying to be okay. She actually doesn't want to get better. But what am I supposed to say? Be honest and say she doesn't want that? Be truthful and say she doesn't care? Because in her life right now, Having no motivation? She wouldn't dare! She misses the life she had before. She didn't mind hiding her own part of her life. She would just cope her own way. She'd cope by using a knife. Maybe one day she'll draw on an actual paper, Or paint with an actual paintbrush, But right now with her anxiety, She feels that there is no rush. Don't worry about the girl. She just cries every night. But she has to keep going, Her best friend is in near sight. It'll be alright everyone, I'll keep you up to date, The girl's painting will continue. If that's the artist's fate.
DEMONS ALSO CRY Beyond the crave for death All I sought was first, Weep-not my newborn soul Where fireflies shine lighter than the lamps And fishes swam faster than their homes Like trampled troubled tramps, Then, demons also cry. Groans and moans of pain, Down they roam like rain Memories sparked with flashes of feisty flare For all that is left is nothing but darkness Piercing the thread of our bond That even angels dare not dare Then, demons also cry Here, days brimmed with sadness To miscarriage of nights darkness That even birds glide backward And when asked why, we say, its nature to nurture Conscience lye frozen in muss, has God punished us? Que sera, sera and all go wayward, Then, demons are also crying By Tutuola michael
Forgotten you As your mind collects the memories of yesterday Forgotten You Epiphanies tie into knotty strings of realization That very moment. . . You merely exist Back then. . .those smiles Those. . .distant laughs Some you remember by name Gone now maybe Like the exhalation of the wind Others dispersed in the world of arbitrary happening Like leaves from falling, man-made trees There is no doubt that they have Forgotten you Activate the bomb Ignite the fuse And you're on next year's history book Never forgotten But drained of all remaining good That smile you gave That happiness The warm embrace so long ago Salt-coated with piles of rubbish Over last remaining mental spurts of comfort Evil, evil, evil, evil, EVIL. . . Always absorbed and remembered . . .though never forgiven. . . All good and gracious sentiments Packed up in a box set nonchalantly in Downstair's storage . . .that chair with the broken leg in the corner of the room That mangled cobweb holding a dangling, lifeless spider A drowned sailor's hat drifting through the current of the ocean The single tear from a soldier's vigilant, memory-stricken eye The frustrating thoughts of a mute The unchanged. . .HATED deformations Forgotten you. . . One soul brings to light weary, unthought-of happenings Wedged deep into what she can only imagine With not even a hint of understanding . . .of the pain. . . .of the bewildering distortions Of the ugly. . . One soul merely vomits sickly verse after verse As humanity embraces its downfall The poet hangs onto her unjustifiable, forgotten. . . Words
My soul pounds with rage. This heart has been scorched, by your burning words. My soul gasps for light slowly suffocated, By your hands of pain. I bare the mark of shame. Your touch has maimed my body. My mind drowned out my screams. Blow by blow, Shamed so low. Never did you know how, Your hands of pain marked me.
The year is grey and cold, And we bid the winter go; So all the dark and weary world, Will be purged of blowing snow. Tomorrow cry the branches, From out of their sad heart; My closed buds will open, With green leaves all apart. Tomorrow sings the robin, To pipe her song again; Her nest filled with eggs, Warmed in spring's soft rain. Tomorrow bleats the sheep, My little lambs will run; Playing in the meadow, Beneath the golden sun. We too wait for tomorrow, That spring should come to be; For Him to weave the threads, Of life's dark destiny. So all the hearts grown cold, From life's cruel time and pain; May bloom all fresh and green, In Springtime's soft cool rain. For all the hollow promises, Of sad and empty years; Are bringing back to tomorrow's Joy with no more tears.
I went back into that dark, dark place Were demons dwell And Lives are taken away But Through the pain And Through the tears You were there and kept me near. You saved my life by loving me; Your silent strength was the key. Gentle touches and silent words Let me know that love was the cure. Depression is my evil curse, And When it planted the seed of death Your love washed it away And Gave me the strength To seek the help I needed to keep it at bay. I've walked that dark path so many times I've done lost track, But Things have change And God's given me a special tool To help me through, I have you and Joshua too, And Rooted deeper is the knowledge Both of you want me to stay a little longer. So like a drug addict that has lost their way I start the road back to brighter days, And There are not enough words to say I Love You In every way And May God bless us ever day.
And we are left here Like maggots—dirty, parentless…devastated Always feeding on the gruel…the cruel Fattening our lives in the moneyless bilk Shocking like a bee sting, yet soft as silk We are the forgotten I am watching the others grow rotten But I am cleansed and raw with glee Because…though blinded with slime…I SEE… I rise to the sound of the agonizing screams Of rapes, murders, of violent fists…weeping minds My definition of true finds… I smile when any possible hope arrives Fate laughs, knowing I constantly scream inside I am amused of it all…I can't stop laughing As bitter tears began to fall I HATE ALL OF YOU… I WANT TO KILL YOU ALL… But I love that I can take anything From the nothing we have all been labeled The sick, the low…the mentally unstable Watch me roll up in a ball A naughty tease to death's lull I love your silence… I love your intense fall And we are more alive than any of you We are crazed by your belligerence Aching to be emotionless SHARE YOUR INDIFFERENCE SHARE IT… Give us something to be left with So the others can die As Fate veers its head looking in the mirror Listen to her laughter—do you hear her? She watches and waits To find her maggots have grown wings… Screw your selfish indifference...we fall to fly We are more alive than any of you Though quickly we die
In my heart there's no longer loneliness from longing for love. Finally found someone to love, but he is my silent sorrow manifest. In my chest there's still even now a prolonging lonesomeness. Finally found somewhere to live, but it is my isolating incubation erect. In my head there's still me, myself, and I comforting my lonely heart. Finally found someway to befriend, but they are my persona's karma manifest. In my soul there's no longer loneliness from longing for love. Finally found some truth of whom I am, but my heart's still filled with loneliness.
In this dark corner Of this dark room, I sit in the shadows, I sit in the doom. I see a light, A light right ove there, I cannot reach it. No longer its there. In this large group, Of people I love, I feel so alone, Like everyones above. This isnt a choice, Of choices its not. To be sad and depressed I just think a whole lot. Through my mind runs some thoughts, Thoughts of rough times, The times times of great hurt, The times of great crimes. Crimes done unto me Seems jail would be fitting. "Oh stop being sad, Your overreacting." Though stopping I cant, Its not my control. I guess I can try. Cause its getting old. If your life is bad, Well, heck, so is mine. If yours is so bad Keep down, dont shine. I'm scared for us all. For the world that is. We are all dead, Only a few people live. No one can change. Not even me. Cause lifes filled with misery, hurt, death, not glee. Listen up now, I have something to say. If this all is ending, Its ending today. In this dark corner, Of this dark room, I sit in the shadows, I sit in the doom.
Loneliness and pain creates a void Dark shadows haunt, torment and torture only reflective thoughts of happiness Somber, melancholy moods decay the soul It is futile to hope and dream Emptiness is overwhelming A deepening sea of nowhere consumes And eats away at every connecting thread Nothing considered worthy remains Destined to walk through life less ordinary Alone, exiled, different and disdained.
Inspired by the Connecticut tragedy and another minor shooting that happened in my home state ------------------------------------- Blood and Bullets That night we cried ourselves to sleep For each of the little children the blood did weep Serve upon this misery and damage No words will excuse the savage The vultures swoop, spread the sugar coated lies But still the frozen child dies Yet they still wish to remove what little safety we have But they fail to see that will not stop the slings and arrows they have For the media projects the fame they crave Like wild dingos they consume what we fail to save Serve and protect is not the duty of just some but all as a whole ALL AS A WHOLE And we fail And we fail The cameras prance around like costumed horses in a dance All the while the mud splattered reality burns and singes the lines of damned fantasies We are to blame, shining glitter and fame on the damned souls that should be burned We spit acidic words of hate all the while praising them in glittering spectral lights of fame They do not heed the angry words, but revel in the talk of them...them.. Them... It's All About THE KILLER Blood and bullets pollute the spoiled ground but no one cares for the rotten Sadness rings through for a week but soon the victims are forgotten But no one forgets the criminal...Infamous He is immortalized by the fame...fame...infamous Blood and bullets Blood and bullets Blood and bullets Blood and bullets Blood stains Bullets jump dead forgotten left rotten Monster remembered remembered Blood and bullets Blood and bullets
Can no one see this smile I'm faking, See, how, inside, I'm constantly shaking? These people all claim they know me well, Yet no one can see through my crumbling shell? "I'm fine", I whisper, my sadness unknown, They leave me to deal with this anguish alone, I've hidden behind this wall most of my life, I've managed so far, I've dealt with my strife, Watching as, slowly, my blood leaks away, It helps to keep life's true horrors at bay, I pull down my sleeve to cover my hurt, For approaching footsteps, I'm on the alert, I guess my pretense is just all too real, No one has to know of the pain that I feel, The real me inside, where no one can see, I can fool everyone else, but why can't I fool me?
Seemingly standing alone, In the shadows of doubt and fear, Lost, cold, forgotten, Cold is the grasp of death that nears Seeking a hand in darkness of solitude, Wishing for nothing but a love, Turned away, cast aside, borne not even a stray, lone thought, Towering aloft, looked down upon from far above Throned so high overhead, just as kings of old, Glared down upon, a lowly tear forsaken so, Caught within a trap, drowning, mists of sorrow, A voice unheard, a voice deserted, only a voice in woe Wandering such great, forlorn paths, A derelict mind harshly beat, a mind that has since long been vacant, Rove, this neglected child does, One mind among so many, outcast, this dolor mind abeyant.
The kids are playing in the park It's late afternoon, but not yet dark Time for one last game of hide and seek "Everybody hide and nobody peek". One little girl stops on the grass to tie her shoe She has to hurry before they find her to Suddenly a shadow falls over her She looks up to find a strangers face "Hello little girl", the man says with a grin "Would you like me to help you win"? "I'm not allowed to talk to strangers Mommy says" He reaches out and takes her hand "Well ", he says "My name is Sam" Now that we have met, your Mommy wouldn't object "I guess your right", she says with a smile on her face And she lets him guide her to a hiding place Within an hour, everyone is searching the park She hasn't come home and now it's dark They search and search, but to no avail Her Mother is frightened and very pale The police arrive and comb the woods A short distance in, The search dog Buddy Makes a very grizzly discovery They find her lying on the ground Her tiny body bent and bound Her panties down around her knees The horrific scene covered in leaves Her Mom sees the ambulance by the woods She arrives in time to see her beloved daughter Being carried in a black bag thru the trees The shock and pain bring her to her knees Her tears rage, "Oh My God, how can this be, It was only a game, who whould want to hurt my child?" She shakes her head, her eyes gone wild "Dear God, please no, don't let this be, please, please, bring her back to me"! A few days later in a little church graveyard She buries her only child Her anger burns deep within For the person who perpetrated this sin She prays to the Lord for justice to prevail As the casket is lowered to the ground She prays that he will soon be found Across town on that very day The children are playing in the park It's late afternoon, but not yet dark A man approaches another one and extends his hand "Hello", he says "My name is Sam"!
The Warrior My pencil is my sword My eraser is my shield And when I go to war My paper is my battlefield When life is to much This is how I express the way I feel And so I write such words As murder, stab, kill When people read these words Misunderstanding they think I'm insane But this is just how I vent All my anger, frustration and pain People that don't know me Think I look like a bad man The people that say they do know me Think I live the life of a madman All of these things Circling in my head Sometimes I have to wonder Would I be better off dead I used to be a somebody And my reputation would reflect That I used to be a person To look up to and respect But now you can see By the trembling in my hands That all I am these days Is a tired, broken man
~The Light~ I remember the first time Voices in my head getting way too loud Just a little girl unable to enjoy the world around me I thought there was no way out Almost took the easy way out Then I saw something shining at the end of a long dark tunnel It gave me hope A reason to believe As long as I kept my focus on ~The Light~ Thirteen and so very young Afraid to tell a soul About the demons in my head I thought that I had to deal with them For myself by myself Until I slipped and told a friend Finding out she heard them sometimes too Helped me feel a little better It is just too bad she never had a chance to see Brightness at the end of her tunnel After she moved away She just gave up Walking away from ~The Light ~ I felt so bad Yet I managed to hide the pain I always felt inside Even in my darkest hours With many attempts behind me I kept hoping to see ~The Light~ It is beautiful to see how a family can rescue Their fallen Just not giving up Always feeling their unconditional love Knowing they were there It all helped me walk out of that dark tunnel Embracing ~The Light~ Now I firmly believe it is possible For the most troubled soul To find a way out Without taking the easy way With love and support I know you can do it too As you go through life's journey Wherever it may take you Always remember to look for and Embrace ~The Light ~ By: Jean Shular
I just drank a fifth of vodka A lot on my mind I start crying But not because I'm sad or scared It just feels like I'm supposed to Razor blade in my hand Ready to cut my flesh First I slit my neck Then both wrists See the blood drip Feel it running down my skin Hear it hit the floor Smells great One taste & reality hits Blood is gone No cuts Or tears A voice says, "This is your future" Then I wake up
Been walking this road, with two dead ends Your memory keeps returning, again and again The moon doesn't glow and the stars don't shine And as I search for your face, I keep falling behind I looked at my watch, seems it stopped yesterday So I take a deep breath, and continue on my way I stare at the darkness, and see nothing but black As I listen for sounds, A chill crawls up my back I've worn a hole in my shoe, a week ago today My eyes are so tired, but there's no where to lay It's so dark and lonely, as I try to keep pace For this dead end road, has taken your place My mind starts to worry, if you'll ever return As the dark turns to gray, your arms I still yearn I realize were through, as I rest for awhile For I no longer can search, or walk one more mile I've worn a hole in my shoe, a week ago today My eyes are so tired, but there's no where to lay It's so dark and lonely, as I try to keep pace For this dead end road, has taken your place
Everybody's dieing, I can see the bodies falling around me, crashing down like dead trees, white faces and cold hands, touching me lightly, then landing on the cold hard ground. This life's dark, like a big dark room, there is no life, because all I see, feel, and hear is death, striking down the world with his violent hands. He kills them all, untill I'm the only one left, one by one he takes them, leaving me on this dark earth alone. Save me lord, save me, nevermind, you can't. I'm going to die, I will die alone.
In my mind this horror remains in my remembrance. That awful, dreadful day, that man took my innocence. I was just barely 15 yrs. old. Not the cocky type,and I never wore provocative clothes. What was suppose to be a quick errand to the store. Ended up being my worse nightmare and so much more. In this dark place, the air was stale and cold. Helpless, defenseless, is what I felt as my naked body was exposed. Guilt, shame, and anger are the emotions that arose. What seemed like eternity, left the pillow soaked with tears. Crucifixion of scars were imprinted on my heart and soul for years. I remember getting in the shower, trying to scrub away all the pain I felt. Hugging my pillow and praying, as I wept. School, Family, and Friends, are the things I began to neglect. My mother was clueless, she questioned what was making me so upset. It was my secret, his secret, that I couldn't forget. It was that one night, that one thing that had me trapped in regret. After I drunk liquor repeatedly, and gave marijuana a try. My hurt turned into depression, and I attempted suicide. One day when skeletons in my closet were too many to hide. Wanting to confess the dark secret I kept inside. I had a conversation with God, and he helped me realize...... All over the world there are women just like me. Bound by silence, and overtaken by life's tragedies. The answer is to talk, so that others can overcome by our testamonies. Everyday I pray that God allow all victims mind to escape. The day they endured, I endured, physical, mental, emotional.....Rape Copyright 2006 Tyettea Singletary
Jab Meri Bechaini Mit Jayegi Jab Mere Dilko Sukoon Mil Jayega Yeh Khaalipan Mit Jayega Do Pal Ki Chandni Ke Liye Aj Bhi Zinda Hoon Main Meri Khaamoshi Ke Ageh Aasmaan Bhi Khatam Ho Jayega Kehne Ke Liye Toh Roz Marta Hoon Main Thoda Aur Marne Ke Liye Yeh Deewana Kal Phir Ayega
Put a bullet in my brain as the rain sweeps her out of my arms and places her into another's. Put a bullet in my brain for I don't want to see love slip away please end my suffering, for I don't want to dare see her in the arms of another man. I fear the tear that slips away from my soul and touches the ground with a splash as she is washed away by the lashed memories of the rain, please, someone put a bullet in my brain. I can't bear to see her with another man laying in his arms as he charishes her beauty just like I did to her. As she smiles and laughs at his jokes my heart would not bare the sorrow and pain that would tare my heart apart into pieces of tainted love. Please tell the rain to stop, as the pain grows when rain comes down, please someone end my suffering, put a bullet in my brain and stop the rain that washes away every memory of her. Stop saying you miss me and just kiss me for I can't take the pain of the rain that takes you away. Kiss me and stop saying you miss me for those are useless words to me. Love is where it's at, so show me. Don't go with him, he'll treat you wrong. Love and laugh with me till the break of dawn as we yawn the long night away. Kiss me and don't say you miss me. For if you go away from me, I couldn't bare to take a tear and waste it away. Tears, sweet tears crying for you, doesn't that mean anything to you? I ask you, stop the rain, stop the pain and put that bullet in my brain. Let the red blood flow from my temples. Let the plow dig my grave, for I can't bare to see you with another in his arms, him kissing you, where I kissed you. I can't take it, I have to make it, make that pain go away. Prayer didn't help, God turned a blind eye when I came up and said why! Put that bullet in my dome and when I lay in the coffin, looking at the roof of the church you come and kiss me, and then you can really say that you'll miss me.
It feels good to scream. Too shout to the top of your lungs, with all your might, with all your pain, with all your air, that fills your black lungs damaged by years of cigarette smoke, to feel your dieaphram expand to feel your chest expand, to feel your heart skip a couple beats, thump. thump. thump. Put you face to the pillow breath in. Let it all come out. Let it all come out!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Feel the lunatic release from your head free the demons from your soul. Let it all out!!! Scream like there is no tomorrow, feel the pain go away. It feels good to scream, to get it all out. Then light a cigarette, breath in drink whiskey, red wine, sit at a hunched over position, at a typewriter and scream with words on paper and go down and get your screams published. Then everyone can read, and hear your screams and not just your neighbors. Let it all out!! It feels good! Trust me. It feels good. It feels good to let it all out, let it out, don't deny yourself freedom let it all go, free yourself, free your tourmented soul, fill your cancer filled, black lungs expand your chest, crack your sternum and feel the pain go. Let it all go. Let it all out!! It feels good to scream!
Could I not see such ugly drawn out choices. Hollow I feel such nothing for people it is fear that feeds me. Alone in this forsaken world with nothing to accept. Order is such pain that it is nothing but chains. Souls that bare nothing but lost cause to confusion is such utter mistakes.
You have my soul, but you have your fate Whatever your words, I'm willing to take You have my word; I'll give you my breath It's like a chain that would never be break You are my love with all my heart, I'll fight for you with all my might. And in the way, you admire your goals, You hold my hands, but not so close. As you go to your chosen path, I'll accept the fact that we will be apart. In the dark side, I leave behind Within my faith, that you'll arise Please don't look back, coz I'm fighting still I'm hurting so much! Don't want to have you near I accept my fate for what it does, I'm bleeding so much, do you know for whom it was? You reach your goals, as you want to have, Would you remind the man that gave what he had? As you reach the stars, and be the one Be a sun that shines its own. After the rain, the rainbow comes, Like dark in the moon, when the light flash A glimpse from you at least a short For then I knew my pain is worth.
Breaking down in the heart and mind. With all regrets that are truly not kind. Shocked at people are, so painful to see. Abused with hated and ecstasy. Violated and directed with torments Lost of words or comments. Hatred gushing out of life long experience. Reminding yourself to become absence. Coward and scared to even breathe. Like the feeling of knives unsheathe. Sharp but not enough to cut. Enough to scare like a door that immediately shut. The hand raised to help you is a lie. It is a hand that slaps you so you can die. Rough around the edges. Crawling in your dreams in ledges. Powered to stay alive. You feel people want you to take a dive. Just stop, and fall down. Hoping to break your mental crown. Hiding a feeling that never feels real. Like shaking hands with demons for a deal. Blocked out, out of your own story. Thinking that people are stealing your glory. Ashamed with fear. With eyes that are full of tear. Lost in such hidden romance. Luck has it seems to be a dance. Moving around in your head. With scary thoughts and dread. Feels like you never leave. So you feel so many that grieve. In your mind that is lost. Full of drama that holds you down in cost. Keeping in the shadow. You watch people so shallow. Gut instinct says that life with them is a muse. When your just standing your accuse. Society is just so lame. Like all the people that are in it your to blame. Soloing life is a brief. Walking away is some what a relief. I dreamed of many things. With beautiful sorrows of wings. Wavered in a direction that leads no where. Escaping everything by a hair. Pointing into the sky. And asking yourself why. The cage is so big. Just enough to put on a huge rig. Moving back and fourth. It feels that your life does not have a worth. Caned by laws of laughter to deceive. Shackled up to be bent to your will to receive. When you hope to hope. A person can just show you the rope. They have such friendly hands. Like the deserts of sands. Dangerous it is to just keep walking in it. Lost cannot find your way even a little bit. Just seem like your heart feels dry. Then you give up and give a sigh. That moment that you do is just all a dream. You are really in a ward you will scream. Thrust upon you because you could not protect. So what cost you is this effect. Warping in to your mind to leave this place. You feel full of disgrace. With nothing to drink. Causing your true self to think. Grief is such a pain with sorrow to gain. Looking out in your own rain.
HELP ME When we fight I want to run away But there's nowhere to go But down, down, down Your vicious tongue lashes thru my heart As you beat me with your soul And I want to run away So far from you and this town, town, town If I could just tell someone I'm just a piece of trash Would they help me or am I just all alone? Metal and glass crash. I never thought I could hate someone Until I met your sadness Evil never felt so bad. You're driving me too madness Running, running away from you To nowhere lasting Screaming and nobody hears me As my blood pours fasting Please save me from this ilk. I'm too weak to drink my milk The time has come and gone my friend I fear the near is coming to an end…help Leah 1/30/2013
A long list of names with not a friend among them Is it just of book of hidden faces Forgotten faces? Not a single word I've ever said was written with truth And here's the proof When there's tears streaming down my face Stuck in place Is a smile that is a lie When every time I look around I want to die No friendly faces, in the brightest of places And I can't make a sound Is this life or is it just a dark hell How is one to live without living Feeling lonely Lost in a sea of sound The darkness inside me Is seeping through my heart and making me lose my self control Turn the shower up higher so they don't hear me cry It's all I can do, just living a lie The friends I thought I had left when I was reaching my lowest Now as I sink below the surface The sun is the dimmest of lights Scratching at my sides Not ready to go back to the blade So long gone, I've reached the breaking point but I'm afraid to let go
Have a smoke. Score some dope. Die young.
Let the Deicide commence. You're a voyeur at best! Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest! And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence, And for you there is no forgiveness, On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies; The father of lies. I will never be enslaved in your superiority The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies. Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be Apollo and I will share our dreams, and you will be forced to see your failure! I know who you are... Readily the first to present your scars Chained by some despot or mental czar An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate! ...And you see me suffering Not caring of any casualties Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways Solipsist - Is there no one you can see? Even if she was presented burning? Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe? Even if Sophia was screaming? Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me Imprisoned in your own personal reality
P aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face, A cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race, N othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace, I nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase, C hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace !!
Broken hearts Black as tar A sister's love burned away Forever replaced with irreversible hate Reach for light before the night forever takes Your soul away Fight the night, seek the light Sisters' love Can be an unbreakable bond A soul slowly baptized In Lucifer's detestation Chipped away until only the shell remains Once sisters bathing in the rays of life Separated, in pain, for losing the way One sister reaching for the other The other sister stretching her hand down Down into the very depths of hell Were Lucifer holds her very soul And basks in the very pain He so easily created Lucifer prince of pain King of darkness Walks among the broken hearts Seeping in his blackened tar Until the shell is all you see And the soul is but a memory
sometimes i talk to myself, my mind is racing, i dont know what to do... so hard to explain. depression isn't a stage or a faze some kids go through it shatters you... i saw it all. she cried silent in her bed, blood stains covered her favorite jeans, her every shirt, long sleeve ofcourse... she suffered through it all with few people to call friend and more to call enemy even more to say where quite dissappointed.... FAT her first name in school, not started by a bully or a mean rival, but by her sister, and it echoed through her soul, repeating in her mind... over and over again, like the ripples of still water when a pebble is dropped flash frozen in time repeating, over and over again... It was the first name they gave her, millions where created over the years, some unique some repeating again, just as the first had.. gothic they called her, emo, fat, ugly....worse things. but in her mind, things where worse. everything was repeating, over and over again, finally she believed it. she asked for help, from everyone tried to explain to parents she wasnt well, got called a psycho for asking to see a theripist, not from a teacher, not from a class mate, but from her own father, who wouldn't, couldn't, believe there could possibly be a thing wrong.... finally, crying, she confessed her bloody secret to a teacher. rather then giving her time, she is sent back to class crying her eyes out, as if she wherent going through enough... she is sent to the principals office a few minutes later, after breaking down in class... the princlipal says she needs help, sends her and her dad for a risk evaluation, her dads crying as she shows him her cuts... they walk into a hospital room, it smells of chemicals and hand sanitizer, the lady at the desk gives her a smile. then she goes into a room with a lady, her cheeks are sunken in and shes wearing way too much makeup, the girl is gaging on her perfume, and she looks really intimidating.... her dark brown hair looks dead and flat even though its a bit wavy, and she wears somewhat of a mocking frown. asks her all these questions, is mommy beating her? no is daddy raping her? no is she doing drugs? not alot is anyone beating her? pass... did anyone molest her? pass.... oxcarbezapine, trazadone, citalipran, clinazapam, colonipan, valium, lithium, more....... and thats what they gave her, more... some numbed the pain some brought it out tearing through her organs, she became an addict by the time she was fourteen.... over dose after over dose some for pleasure some for pain, gashes on her legs getting deeper, this time she didnt tell a soul, not even those she had come to call friends.... wakeup she screamed in her head over and over again as she dropped weight like it was nothing.... you cant controll it she argued as things became worse. at age fourteen she attempted suicide, she didnt quite succeed. the medication took away her aappitite.... she liked it she hated her body hated herself felt out of controll found a new way to cope as she shoved tooth brush after toothbrush down her throat to keep her body from nuitrients... as she whent weeks and weeks spitting food into napkins and making excuses I ate at my friends house.... spoken as a whisper heard like a sentance echoing in her mind over and over again, along with that word, all the words, FAT!!!!!! ugy, anoying, stupid, fake, worthless, nothing... one bite she would say rocking back and forth craving nothing but food her body racked with hunger pain one bite and there she was again FAT! over and over and over again back to a toothbrush this time she sees blood she saw her ribs she saw her bones, it wasnt good enough, she almost died, again.... choking on this deep dissappointment in herself, gaging on everything they where pushing down her throat, their words, and their insults, their criticism.... their drugs all shoved down her throat like candy and just as she was was trained to do she swallowed despite the bad taste or the hurt or the fact that at the rate she was going she would be dead soon... and you know why? because daddy yelled and couldnt accept what was happening not because he wanted to hurt her but because it hurt him, and she let him believe, because she could take the hurt if it meant he didnt have too. because mommy didnt want to sit in her room all day smoking weed doing nothing, practically having us raise ourselves, she didnt mean to take anger, or frustration or hurt out on her daughter she suffered everyday in her solitary confinement, and from a young age she accepted her bedroom was the cage her mother had created for herself. because sister didnt want to effect her the way she did she was just frustrated fed up with the way things where scared, she needed someone to take her cruelty and to help heal her pain... because people in school who where so cruel had to have learned from somewhere and she wasnt going to play into their games, and they knew she was an easy target because she would never attack someone so weak and she accepted her suffering was a sacrafice to help all these people.... to help her dad, her mom, her sister, every person who was beaten abused or hurt and felt so weak at home they wanted to feel strong in the one safe place they had. because depite the fact she had died inside, and almost passed away on the out, it was a saccrafice she was willing to make so that no one else would have to feel that kind of pain, and they all inflicted it and broke her down'untill there was nothing left but a shell of somthing that could have been and never had the chance and why? because she would take it and wouldnt strike back, because sometimes "just taking it" isnt so much about the weakness not to do anything but about the strangth not to hurt others the way they hurt you...
In high school everything changes Teachers, friends, you, "That's just life" they say, And they never stop to ask "Well, how do you feel?" And your friends leave, and your grades decrease, And your teachers begin to worry, And they make you see a shrink, But they never stop to ask, "Well, how do you feel?" The sky starts to crumble, And the tears begin to fall, And music and hoodies become your best friends, And they never stop to ask, "Well, how do you feel?" And the tools come out. And the objects fall apart, And you reach for the closest one, And the ask, finally, "Well, how do you feel?" But by now it's too late. Your time is up, your blood's run out, Your scars show for the world to see, Cause they asked too late, "Well, how do you feel?" "She was so young" they all say, But really you were old. You'd seen so much and hurt so much, It was time for you to go. So you picked up the pills and washed them down And grabbed the blades and cut And when they finally noticed you weren't around It was too late you were gone. They found your letter on the bed And read it out at school "You asked to late, but I don't blame you." And your friends were moved to tears. In your tree house in the yard They found you pale as snow Your eyes closed, a smile on your face And they realized you were gone. They roll up your sleeves and roll up your pants And scream at what they see Lines, and lines, and lines of cuts Some healed and some not. And they realized they should have asked in the beginning How you felt that is, cause, Honestly you didn't, You didn't feel anything at all.
They are bound to the Earth like trees Suffocating under the weight of an icy grave Reaching to be free, but only their limbs are seen Hoping that one day someone will see: They can't escape with lacerated wings The ocean surrounds me, covering everything Nothing will be clearly seen; confusion overwhelming No-one can save you, you're on your own, left to die Manipulating every bleeding heart you can find I can't escape with lacerated wings. Swarms of nets, waves of screams Entangle: your captive illusions and dreams The mask has be seared - The truth now they see The Liar - Vampiric Fiend; lowly thief And now they know you can't escape with Lacerated Wings There's reasons for your rejections: Your Heavy heart's transferred oppression The scars are too deep to pass the trials But you can find peace in your cage of empty spirals You Cannot Escape With Lacerated Wings
Ones who wage, Ones who rage, Ones who take, Ones who pay, Ones who craze, Ones who rave, Ones who crave… Ones who fear, Ones who breathe, Ones who give, Ones who need, Ones who will, Ones who weave… Ones who plead, Ones who beg, Ones who beseech, Ones who entreat, Ones who appeal, Ones who volunteer, Ones who disappear… The ones who follow, The ones that don't know about tomorrow, The ones who don't deserve the morrow… The ones who sleep, The ones who cry, The ones who live, The ones who die… The ones who proclaim, Those who say they create, The ones who ache, The ones who don't wait, The ones who hesitate, The ones who don't concentrate, The ones who fornicate, The ones who procrastinate… Those who fall in temptation, Those who get in frustration, Those who sometimes feel desperation, Those who keep going without caution, Those in motion, Those in tension, Those losing notion, Those being poisoned, Those getting in distortion, Those following the broken diction, Those dying like the billions, Those without unction, Those washed in the oceans… I might seem cold, But it is you who is bold. I might not express, But it is you who doesn't let me progress. I might not seem like I seek, But it is you who doesn't know me… I might seem like I need, But it is you who might always be begging on your knees. I might seem dull, But it is the one that is fool. I might not be alight, But it is you who isn't truly alive… I will remain neutral, I will remain silver, I will remain gray, I feel darkness, I feel light, I will remain hallowed…, After all, it is you who deserves no life… I am a metal hawk, I am a mountain goat, I am a silver bird, I am a gray wolf, I am a white tiger, I am a mystic rose…, I am I… I'm alive, And I survive, You are here, However, it is you who deserves no life… Being human does not imply that you have humanity…
"Quicksand" In the dark shadows of my mind ... memories ache from love's heartbreak lost in sweet surrender fell into the "venus fly trap" of a pretender swallowed by emotions lake a volatile earthquake In the dark shadows of my mind ... In the misty corridors of my soul ... scars exist wounded by love's kiss as passions overflowed deceived by lying seeds sowed magnetic charms drawn to false abyss a fantasy of illusions bliss In the misty corridors of my soul ... In the blackened hole of my heart ... lies destructive band of love's quicksand a pedestal crumbles; broken a veil of pain; unspoken flaming embers slowly fanned tears cascading in cupped hand In the blackened hole of my heart ... *For SKAT'S BROKENESS Contest ...
What does the dope say? "I use dope. I am a dope. That's why I'm homeless."
Green bark a prism creates, Feel the pull of earth, you must. Rotates, a slime of endless hates, Can hold me not, this world's crust. Friendship's ties, isolation Deflates, Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust. Mist, my soul forever permeates, Lift-off, booms the rocket's thrust. My spirit when light returns, elates, Swamps swell, swallowed hope's swirling dust. Trapped, I am, until student from fate Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.
People are my weakness and hidden fear I just feel that some words they say set me in tear For example I gave a person a smile one day and they gave me a glare I did not know that smiling in the world today cause people to stare These types of stare gave me chills down my spine a feeling that made me blind Why? why is my weakness the people who are very unkind Hiding is all I can do when people give me a unkind view I get to a point that my fear seems to wonder and stew People are who they are and what should I even do I don't understand that they are evil and some times nice too My hidden fear are people just because they are always around That is no argument and my feeling are perfectly sound The hate builds up in my mind, but does not bother, how my heart feel I learned to undergo a change that my feelings become like steel Hard as it should be in situations needed I forget how to use it So it becomes my weapon and it is to some people heartless just a bit My hidden fear is what I see in people today They harm others and they think it is okay That is why I fear my feelings for others at times because it is so confusing My hidden fear is some what bad and some what a blessing
I have a very negative opinion of most of the Hollywood crowd. Many of them are rich snotty assholes, clueless commie loving SOBs who think they are international statesmen. But I must admit I thought Bill Cosby was a very decent human being. WOW! Was I ever mistaken! Tell me it isn't so Bill Cosby!
Living my life on the Dole*, Because my Mum told me so, Interview at 'McDonalds', but that Tyrant told me "No!", See, we're a family with pride, Don't sell fries at super-size, But where's the pride, If I can't provide, For my own style of life, Spent my money from the *Brew, On Irn-Bru**, I swear that's true, Dreary, damp & cold, This black hole, I call home, Only 'joy' I get in life's the 'stick' I use for X-BOX, And I aint got a tumble dryer so I step with wet socks, Work-shy, but money-hungry, Flats cramp-sized & pretty ugly, Arrogant guy, Until I woke up and realised that no-one loves me. Brain melts to slush, in this non-testing occasion, 'Gain Work' is a must, for a teenage Caucasian, Nothing separating me, From drug-addled Dads of three, No payday, Just giro day, No jobs… great, Keep trying mate, No end in sight as unemployment rises, Government gives you cash like they were handing out prizes, Where's my reason to go out & work? My motivation, Its pleasing no-one now, this escalated situation, Experience is something that you earn, not that you're born with, Inexperienced forever, if I don't get employed quick, I don't enjoy sitting on my broken couch for hours, I'm your Friend with Benefits, can only wash with cold showers. (*Common British phrases for Jobcentre or Jobseekers Allowance Benefit) (**Famous Scottish soft drink mass produced around Britain)
I got mad. Didn't know how to use my energy. So I made this song on the piano. I want to sing it with my brother when he's better. I hope he does get better soon. Dedicated to David. Just been so angry lately. And so sad. . . ----------------------------------------------------------------- Verse I: (David) I was alone What can I say? I was lost Couldn't pray I was trapped In their games I regret it Everyday Verse II: (Laura) I was jaded By my sin Never sweated Anything Couldn't sleep Couldn't dream I was scared Of everything Chorus: (David) Within me lies a battle A war I just can't fight alone Can you hear me now? Will you hear me out? Before I lose the struggle I'm begging for some help right now We need to take a stand I need to be a man Laura: Your heart is in my hand Both: (You) I will not fight alone Verse IV: (David) I'm losing faith Can't find the way Can't erase The things I say I see the world Instant pain! If I'm anything I'm insane Verse V: (Laura) Don't talk that way! Just look at me! You are stronger Then I'll ever be! I pulled you in I pushed you free I was foolish Please come back to me Chorus: (David) Within me lies a battle A war I just can't fight alone Can you hear me now? Will you hear me out? Before I lose the struggle I'm begging for some help right now We need to take a stand I need to be a man Laura: Your heart is in my hand Both: (You) I will not fight alone Within me lies a battle A war I just can't fight alone Can you hear me now? Will you hear me out? Before I lose the struggle I'm begging for some help right now We need to take a stand I need to be a man Laura: Your heart is in my hand We'll never fight alone Never Fight Alone
Your glorious emerald eyes Glisten in the moonlight Glisten in the moonlight Delight dances in the water I watch it joyfully You are set free from the cage... You're like a dove soaring in the sky You are the rain... drizzling down in ecstasy A hint of ecstasy is shown in your reflection... When you caress me... I'm relieved... From the stress that forced me in chains I knew we'd be on the brighter side of tomorrow We're glistening in the moonlight I knew we'd become candles in the heavens above us We're glistening in the moonlight For a moment, I felt your presence...your radiant with sympathy I saw at first glance the dark side of you Tonight, we'll be together and fly through the horizon We'll watch the sunset say its last goodbye... We'll wave a greeting at the moon! We glisten in the moonlight... What if I was as handsome as the lion... Roaring with pride and pure courage What if we were glistening in the moonlight? Would it bring health to our bones tonight? Would it make our heart rejoice and overflow with delight? Would we be able to survive this horrifying plight? Would we be shimmering like a candlelight? We're glistening in the moonlight... (6) Ohh...yeah...ooh yeah...ooh yeahh... We reach to the stars and hope we can trace a shooting star I feel the coolness run down my fingers... We're glistening in the moonlight You're the dandelions in the fields You're the gorgeous view that I marvel at everyday When you kiss me, I live my dreams We glisten in the moonlight In a quick moment, I sense a feeling of endless renewal I roam inside of your illuminating maze Glow on... sunshine... Glow on...sunshine... Glisten in the moonlight... Listen to the truth and rub it in You are ravishing like the sunset But you're ascending while I'm descending I feel extremely guilty I wish I could glisten with you in the moonlight You're glistening in the moonlight (6) Ohhh yeahh... oohhh yeahh... ohh yeahh You're glistening in the moonlight (4) We go our own way I wish we can glisten like the moon Glisten like the sun There's a dream concealed inside of me... Reveal your light and pour it upon me You glisten in the appealing moonlight While I'm subsiding... you're fulfilling your dreams Of gliding across the horizon You're independence... keeps on scorching with satisfaction While I'm below you... Your emerald green eyes Stared me down like a hawk... Your emerald eyes Gaze down at me genuinely... I wish we could flee together in reality... That could be a possibility To glisten in the moonlight in glee We were glistening in the moonlight (3) But that was only a dream... I'll pray that it turns into a reality We were glistening in the moonlight Now, I've misplaced my delight... Will I ever experience such a brilliant night?
**A WINNING POEM** That night, my heart pleaded i should Wait over and pass the night at grand pa's Old inn. Enormous was my concern to reach home And see Constance La France.... the rambling poet. About "create your own form, may be?" I embraced the night and darkness mingled With my eyes; Yonder are night workers, Here and there they wander, Seaching for who to plunder, Oh! what a mighty wonder. Look at that supermarket, And a man with a mask, Gun and matchet, He most be a burglar, Oh! i must be undercover, Or else i step into danger, For the night is in dark anger. "Ahh! ahhh!! ahhhh!!!" the cry of a victim, Something must have wrought a cry, Who will be the rescue? For me, this night walk must linger. Look at the police, having me as an Accomplice, they need my identity and money, Yet yonder is the victim crying.... Look over there! drug users Assembling in dark corners, Swaying like feathers, In the midst of their daily rituals, That is never beneficial, Oh! blind earth leading to an open death. Group upon groups, stationed in their post, Looking so malicious, looking so vicious, Brandishing weapons, ready for the slaughter, Gun shoots clatter as a group fight starter. Charles melody has seen wonder And endless palaver. Knives mingled with flesh, blood and bone, Men eager and bold, Heads bounce like ball, Suddenly, calmness...... Gba! gba!! gba!!! another trigger's verdict? Lord when will these pass over? For i am likening to salt in water, Never to calm and ponder, The night walk seemed not to be over. For the night is in dark anger.... BY CHARLES MELODY (Lightening Ink) **14TH PLACE IN CONSTANCE LA FRANCE CONTEST, WITH THE THEME; "DEEP, DARK AND DRAMATIC". =============================== The form of this poem is called,"stream of consciousness." i formed it so because the thought kept coming like a stream or river of consciousness in my mind, i was conscious of the dangers i knew, especially in my Little African village and the war that covered it. For "Constance La France, the Rambling poet's contest.
Feel me standing there on the draw bridge that stands stubburn and erect over the rushing waters blown by the wind back and forth. I listened to the crows posted on gargoils designed of eightenth century Gothic architecture singing their death songs, when the sun is setting in the far. The voices of women passing startle me with a feeling of sorrow I can't breathe, I am dying. Feel me, can you feel me rot away? Slowly but surely rot away as time passes with ease, and taxi cabs take smiling, intoxicated faces to wayward cafes, oh how they screech to a halting stop and wave to me to get in. "No thank you, I'd rather walk." I say to the smiling faces highly intoxicated with the thought of the birds and the bees rattling around in their empty minds. Then they drive off, into the city lights and turn a darkened corner. I look at the rushing water and feel myself rot away slowly but surely rot away. Can you feel me? Can you hear me? Can you see me? Feel my heart thump with slow paces that manage to keep up with fast melodies. Of songs that play in your mind only the ones that make you sigh and think those one days in Spring time as you walked over the draw bridge and paid no mind to the water underneth. I hear no more talk of you and me, I hear no more talk of the good old times we all shared. Time has passed, as I take my last breathe and hold my chest and shead a tear. Feel me, can you? If you can, put your hand to my weak heart and feel it thump away with every second wasted on useless items. Now, see me a man of one time greatness reflect his life with a reflection in the water below. How I sigh and cry and breath heavely, as I feel myself rot away. The voices of woman pass me by. Tomorrow is a new day, for the smiling faces in taxi cabs will go home and soak their raging hangovers with cool, wet rags. As I still stand on the draw bridge singing with the crows, feeling myself rot away. Can you feel me without you, rotting away? I surely can feel myself rot. Such a heavy word, "rot" So vulgare, yet a great description of me, without you. I pull out a shawl you once wore and I kiss it. As the wind gusts and the sun rises and my shadow comes to meet me, the wind shall take my last memory of you away. And I shall weep no more. Then what will I do? Shall I walk the streets and think of you. Yes you, still rambling all throughout my head like a lose screw. Can you feel me? Feel me rot away feel me think about you, and all your works. Can you feel me?
A crowded table, all suspended in shock The sound of the shot dimming to a 'knock' Only silence, except for the marching clock The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY? Loud cries arise from the elongated table, Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY? They searched for hours, called in C.S.I, Panic set in, would the children all cry? Sandman confirmed the bunny had died Batman suspected somebody had lied WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY? Guests were quizzed, interrogations began The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran, Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van But was stopped in his tracks by superman SANTA KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY!
Dark Moon The twilight sky encircles me As I stand in morbid reverie. My mood so dark the tears won't flow, Choked inside they wayward row. I stand before the windswept sea Their mournful voices haunting me. I can't forget their cries of horror; Unsanctified remains of war. © Connie Marcum Wong For Dana'lynn Smith's "In the Meadow Contest"
To mothers all over the world: If your son starts growing a beard, rams a stick of dynamite up his ass, rails on about imaginary infidel neighbors and puts a dirty rag upon his head; please place him in a mental institution. I know that a large percentage of young men think with the little head in their pants instead of the big head attached to their necks, but hopefully a mental health professional can convince such a warped young mind that no murder is justified and that if he carries out his maniacal scheme there will definitely not be seventy two virgins anxiously waiting for his soul to enter their domain because there are absolutely no (zero) virgins in Hell.
The sand pelts my skin, as it blows with the wind. The waves lap at my toes, once again and again. All this beauty surrounds me, near this magical sea. But one thing just dumbfounds me, why'd I leave-why'd I leave. In the crystal blue waters, my spirit felt free. I gazed long at the wonders, and the views there to see. On the shores I felt happy, near that magical sea. So my soul keeps on asking, why'd I leave-why'd I leave. In the jungle waits adventure, and fruits beyond dreams. Where far in the distance, a menehuné man screams. Standing just three feet tall, spear readied in hand. The menehuné sit waiting, to protect this great land. They hide in the bushes, they hide in the trees. And again the thought pushes, why'd I leave-why'd I leave. In great bamboo forests, all the canes block the light. But I assure it's the purest, of any dark sight. As they sway with the breeze, ones mind sets at ease. But once again my words breathe, why'd I leave-why'd I leave. Winding trails cross rivers, then journey through caves. In the pitch dark one quivers, but must remain brave. For at the end of the darkness, you will find a great sight. Once your eyes readjust, to the quick change of light. Right before you you'll find, a great cliff you must climb. But it's fantastic views, will be one of a kind. You'll see fountains of water, pouring out from hillsides. As they carve through the mountains, you'll be filled with much pride. Knowing all this is yours, for this moment in time. But I pray don't let go, for all this, was once mine. It was mine to explore, it was all mine to roam. It was my sandy shore, it was my island home. But now here in this city, I'm filled with self pity. As my heart slowly sinks, and my mood becomes shitty. I always will grieve, this mistake I believe. And always will scream, why'd I leave-why'd I leave...
The ghosts come stern to foreshadow their routes westward to Atlantic, nautilus trust to sea mantic, - and ocean deities endow. Their ancestors were apt sailors, to serve an equal cause for years, on compassed routes - funeral tears, sabled wives shed to sea bailors. The blue engagement is a spell, that haunts the island men since birth; whom sea engulfs is an owing dearth, to morose depths of mournful well. The sailors stand on the stern deck, as dusk turns colors to dark gray, with a harmonica's sad play, the long tear shadows and stares beck. © G.V. 07-18-2012, All Rights Reserved
Best of friends, for countless years, we had the best of times. Now as my eyes are filled with tears, your soul to Heaven climbs. The path we take, not always clear, I feel so lost without you here. Your last words, prophetic now, "I'll be home soon"- you knew somehow. You left me here, I'm so alone, but I dreamed Heaven had a phone. We talked all night, you fell asleep, I held the line to hear you breathe… Copyright © 2013
I see the blood You too know my thoughts You ask me why i did this I am ashamed at the sight I did what i needed My mind telling my soul What my body wouldn't do Is this how it is The satisfaction i never get The reward of nothing My heart cries just once To see the hope To feel the love it never has To fill the gap its always had You whisper to me Tell me what i want to hear But it's not what i want It weakens me to think All this time you thought But never knew me I doubt myself You try to comfort me The grip of your soul holds me Tightens around mine I feel your strength The strength i never had It doesn't help me Only makes this worse The guilt I've felt gets worse Burns in my chest like a fire It will never die down The pain is there And it plans to stay.
Why? Why? Why? Tell me why? Tell me why? Tell me why? Was it, because I was too nice, I was too much of a gentleman, or was just too much to handle? Was it, because you were young? Was it, because you couldn't find your heart, in all that darkness? Was it, because you just didn't feel the love? Why? Why me? A man like me, deserves no pain, no heartbreak. So, why me? I pray and ask the Gods, why! But an unresponsive god never speaks to me. He sits there and watches... watching what? Nothing, but a heart being torn to shreds. Was it, because I was too careful? Was it, because I loved too much? Was it, because one half of the heart couldn't fit the whole? I ask you, because I still love you. Come to me, my beautiful, stop this nonsense, I cannot make you love me, but I sure can try to show you love. Do not blink, do not take a gift sent down from the Gods for granted. Appriciate what you have, appriciate me, because one day, when you need a shoulder to cry one, you will not be able to find me, anywhere. I will be lost, in a fool's dream of romance and love, that will never come on my front doorstep. Still dreaming of the possibilities of you and I. My heart is with you always, but I will soon expire, so do not wait too long. -10/5/2013
In the attic, above wooden floor, through the hallway of psychotic, locks upon my door, near the broken window and glass of the sore, hiding in the shadows, bloodstains on the wall. Number nine, house at the end of the street, where lights are low, where silent never sleep.
Cloudy weather elimination are our shadows
Coming apon, a large desert rock. Along side, a smaller white rock, so I thought. A sun bleached skull, nested in the sand. Silence, with a gentle desert breeze moving my many unanswerd thoughts; quickly race threw my mind. This O'l skull, once riddled before with dream's, stolen memories, for ever gone! A wide open jaw; Imagining, this poor O'l soul screaming from the other side, but never heard. So I walked away, and wisperd a few words: Rest now, youv'e been found! 03/07/14 Written By, Larry Berdoo WRITE ON!
The wind blew events all over the place. Intense emotions and it gave chase. Lightning lighting to show us the sky. People try to sleep and not cry. Wisping by the wind keeps us awake. The time trying to sleep the storms take. Chills in everyone gives all shiver. The clouds surrounded by moonlight is silver. Heavenly prayers that the rain will stop. The flood stopped a car the person in it was a cop. People have seen such devastation. The road that people made was week in creation. Rivers near by was over flowing. Trees that were there was not showing. By the hour it claimed many. My father woke up and did not see any. Floating by was a boat. Keeping people above water and a float. My father kept a canoe. That some day we would use it, that he knew. Time to paddle up and down the street. The rain water kept getting on our seat. It was so dark after the moon was behind the cloud. Still the noise of thunder still covered the ears loud. The smell of moist water never seem to go away. My brothers seem to still sleep anyway. My head was bobbing up and down. I was so tired that I could not hear a sound. The wind blew back and fourth. It seems that my mom and dad paddle their worth. Till all the people we saw with grace. Help us out with embrace. The time was so late at night. Everyone was so sleepy and losing sight. The fight with the weather was so hectic. The feelings of energy was electric. Losing to such natural disaster is hard to understand. When people working hard to block the river with bags of sand. With hard workers like my mom and dad. They make things happen that is not bad. Rough with weather they experience more than ever. Leaders they are they are very clever. From the night light of street lights to the morning glow. The wind did not stop so. Bringing in more clouds that ill. The people who were still tired still had will. The rush of water and waves blasting push the wall side. Pushing and the force brought water inside. The battle of our hour was getting long. Backup people came to aid us was strong. Rested they were to keep everyone with hope. The people stopped the water with the strength of rope. Heavy rain and loss of homes bring people together. It is kind of sad that this was the only time to gather. Chaos comes happiness how true. This is why we are human that gives us a clue. It is our nature to keep rain falling. To know when it is time for our calling. The winds bring such pain and sorrow. That is why rain sometimes fallow.
I was born in a world of poverty and soiled life of a third world country The way I lived till I was five years of age was walls of boundary These walls had towers of guards that had no heart or care If a child would try to climb the wall they lose their life I swear Father had drank and threatened my mother with a knife My father lost his job and wife and that was the hardship of life He stopped my mother from taking off with me in her arm Hoping that my father would ignore and left me be with no harm When my father went off to drink one night and came home with rage My brothers stood by my crib and took a beating that set up the next stage My father had woken up to three scared children half starved and in pain His final words as he walk away from the orphanage gate live life do not go insane I was still a baby in the orphanage; the caretakers did not really care about the babies They stole items and materials those wicked men and maternal evil ladies They starved all the babies because it cost a lot to keep them alive As a child of that age I could feel the sins and greed that gave out bad vibes I was ignorant about what I drank and ate, as I see white maggots move in my bottle As I see them move I thought about how they were playing and some were hostel They ate each other to keep each other alive in a manner that took me by surprise In the back round I hear others throwing things with sounds of painful cries I got very strong at a young age I was able to start pulling myself up over the cage My feelings were to see my brothers with strong lungs that I cried out of rage My two brothers came to see me and sneak food into my crib The caretaker would find the food in my hands as they grabbed it and hit me on my ribs As painful as it was I kept eating the food with blood in my mouth as it was instinct I sometimes laid in my crib dazed and confused with smell of death so distinct With all my might I kept myself strong and climb the small wall I finally was old enough to get out of the building and I could hear my brothers call With tears of joy with short legs that ran as fast as my heart I ran to my brothers arms and held their hands to have a new start I grew stronger everyday but more things came into my life in a manner of dismay If my brothers stay by my side I could smile and everyday their would be okay
A well-worn path of one lonely soul, a solitary journey that begins to take a toll. A lonely soul that was left an empty heart, on one darkened day when true love did depart. A soul left lonesome to live a painful life, where a scar remains like a cut from a knife. Dark days turn to night teardrops falling like rain, no umbrella can shield perennial tears of pain. For a lonely lost soul no comfort can be found, there is no more love when no light is around.
Drowning in the pool of anguish…oh…oh… I'm venturing into the forest…and I want to hear the words seep out Release these aching sorrows…I worry my soul's drying out… like a drought… Drain out the fluids from my heart It's gouging me…bruising me to the core… **chorus** Embrace the light…embrace the midnight sky… You fall in my arms – you die so warm Shed me more sun to lift up my spirits From the…underground…and release me – I'm breathless I'm drowning in doubt…ooh… oh… Remember me…I'm falling…into my swirling fate…hanging on the roots Strangling my heart…distorting in my veins… I'm bleeding so softly – cut out the wood… Splintering me…I'm shattering… and I'm falling in the abyss Bring me more radiance from my candle light Warp me up in bliss…don't let the midnight sky…don't take away my delight From the…ocean…and save me—save me…oh… oh… I'm failing *chorus* I'm drowning in regret…ooh..oh… Hit the bull's eye in my heart…embrace the light And don't leave me hanging in the abyss…hand me a kite! Save me before I fall apart…shut out the night And don't let the dusk escape us… I must confess… I must confess… I hate to see you abandon the light… But I'm not the one to save you from the night Ooh…ohh… *Chorus* Splintering lies fill your heart I want to kiss it goodbye… But you've mastered it like a piece of art I want to kiss the abyss and die… Dry… I wanna touch the sky with my whole soul But I'm failing and the end of time has taken its toll Tainted sorrow…swims around me…I dwell where the waters depart But the anguish still swarms in my heart… I'm failing…my heart stops beating And my desires are fleeting From my grasp And the monsters laugh at me…as I fall… *chorus* Embrace the midnight sky…catch me…catch me… As I fall in death's arms…I die so cold And your heart is made of gold Untangle the darkness & take away the nightmares Answer our prayers & block out the night Erase the heartaches & wipe away our tears Unravel Your words of life & delight
A single kiss from thy lovely lips, so sweet and so divine, yet I taste posion upon your tongue. Your beauty so glorious, like a blooming rose so beautiful, yet, why do mine eyes go blind in the sight that you walk along with another? Yes you, walk with another, arm under arm, lips touching lips in romantic kisses, it makes my blood boil, for mine lips are dry. For mine eyes have seen your glory, yet no one here listens to my story. You are evil, yes you are, don't try to deny, Listen to a man of experience, you might as well save some expense. I write of our long romantic walks we took together, under the shade of olive trees, how we went apple picking in autumn time, and made love in the foyer. Nomore of that sweet and passionate love, nomore silent kisses in the night, when the wind blows hard against the branches, that tape violently on my windowpane. Nomore somber tears shed, when you got sick, and nomore warm embraces when you shed tears of betrayal. Betrayal now is a game played by a fool, such as I, to think I'd have a happy life with you? Huh, only a fool would think such a thing, but now I sit, looking at the foyer, where we once made sweet, passionate love, nomore will that foyer be filled with exotic pleasure. Nomore will you be filled with smiles and exotic pleasure. I've done my job, as a good man shall do, now pack your things and get of my stage, the spotlight yawns for anew, and the audience grows tired and restless of you. Now I live life anew, you too shall see life in new eyes, walking hand and hand with the blond, blue eyed devil you call your own. Shall he take one kiss from your lips, and die of the posion he tastes on your tongue, shall he go blind, when he sees your true, black beauty? He will see the ugly soul, covered up by white rags, and cheap makeup, and then he will come to me, and shake my hand in condolence and say, "You were right!" Now you are all alone, looking for another, as you did many times before, Now you are alone, walking an open road, spying on another, fear of being alone. Now, you see when you play games with a good man's emotions, don't try it, because a good man is not meant to be toyed with.
Sad girl rising Let me tell you about this girl I know My cousin, this girl be Her life has been so very sad But how wonderful is she She was a wild child, till she married And had her first born child When she found out that his brain was damaged It really drove her wild. She took the Doctor through the courts Then fought for ten long years To get the money she deserved And she cried so many tears She gained a million pound at last To help her with the lad And yet the damage it was done And it really drove her mad. Her and her hubby cared for he And gave their lives to him It was a twenty four, seven job But at times it got real grim She would do just anything To make his life more sweet But when she got that Parkinson's She was close on to defeat But no, she struggled with the odds And though it's ten years on Never does this girl give up When all her hope seems gone She smiles, and carries on with courage Like I've never seen before She's something kind of wonderful She's a hero, that's for sure. 30 July 2o13 @ 1043hrs.
A spiral curl upon her brow, She can't recall how it all began She can't recall how it came to this No names are shared, he doesn't care He doesn't ask...........she doesn't tell She doesn't tell.........he doesn't ask She promises herself, this will be the last A small tattoo, a trailing rose It wanders down, beneath her clothes She dims the light One look, he falls into the spell, she has composed She knows the score....from those before Beneath the trellis of a smile Cold fingers grope, to touch the thorns and there is born, a heart of stone Without a word, her taste runs cold His lust is hot......her time is bought Her lot in life, tomorrow's scorn Her honey, wild, once laced with gold Until the taste was tainted cold In lonely rooms, pink roses slept Where bedside shadows paid the rent The tears she wept so long ago Now shuttered tight, where secrets hide Against the dark, against the tide All shame has learned to shut an eye A child, a lily in the bud Has never known the trace of love All fear is gone, but not forgot Redemption, now, it matters not Where ecstasy, is never sought A tear upon the lash won't fall The garland once upon her dress Is now tattooed upon her breast His urgent thrust, to her is death He pants one breath, then takes a rest She doesn't speak.......he falls asleep He didn't ask..............she didn't tell She promises, he'll be the last No questions asked ______________________________________________ For Charlotte's Contest, Erotic Scorchers: 11/27/13
I have fallen victim so many times To nobody's fault except only mine. I will ask for forgiveness and have faith, Even though I feel like I am not saved.
Don't say it's all over (cause it's not) "Sorry" won't cover it…so don't go on your knees and pray for my forgiveness Oh baby…don't listen to the commotion…I'm done taking cover (it's all for naught) I'm plummeting in slow motion…into the remorseful pit…I'm plummeting in my nightmare's abyss I want to carry you through the night… I'm swimming in the ocean of my tears… My sodden wings lost its ability of flight… You've been swimming in your distress for years… Shut up! Don't say it... Don't even think of it (don't even ponder it) Hey! Don't say it's all over…though we're breaking bit by bit 'Cause there's more treasure to discover I want to remind you to fight the good fight… My misery pools are brewing inside of my head… I'm backing away from the light & exploring the night… You're giving in to sleep and I'm wide awake on my bed Shut up! Don't say it... Don't even think of it (don't even ponder it) Hey! Don't say it's all over…though we're breaking bit by bit 'Cause there's more treasure to discover Please don't tell me…oh, don't tell me…darling! You're giving up today… (I beg you to stay, despite your inner pain) I'm scared I might erupt – it could be quite startling! Someday, things will change for the better… (Don't turn the wrong lane) I'm waiting for that day to arrive – perhaps it will wash away our dismay… I promise you a tranquil reality I want to stray with you tonight I still have hope that He'll set us free I was wondering if you could stay the night Maybe the Lord could grant us Pure, incredible delight Shut up! Don't say it... Don't even think of it (don't even ponder it) Hey! Don't say it's all over…though we've plunged into our own pit 'Cause there's more treasure to gather…
I am the one the word has forgotten. I am the one that walks around and never seen. I am the breeze behind you. I am the one who is never wanted or needed. I am the one that is only seen when you most need me. I am but a shadow no one see's me neither fades nor cares on where I go. I seek for the way out but am lost. He is never far from me lurking in the dark corners of my world saying things I do not wish to hear. Trying to force his way out into the open scratching and clawing at the walls that keep him in. Sadly the walls are starting to crumble and don't know how much longer they will hold starting to give up on fixing the wall. Soon he will be free and there is nothing I can do anymore or want to no one would even notice the change or even me being there to stop him. So I might as well let the walls fall and walk away and let everyone else deal with the problems that shall proceed. For it seems that no one cares on what I do or who I am. I will stay for a bit longer but don't know how long it will last just getting so tired and no one notices because I am...invisible [11/24/12 7:29:53 PM] Damien Carlton: I am the one the word has forgotten. I am the one that walks around and never seen. I am the breeze behind you. I am the one who is never wanted or needed. I am the one that is only seen when u most need me. I am but a shadow no one see's me neither fade nor cares on where I go. I seek for the way out but am lost. He is never far from me lurking in the dark corners of my world saying things I do not wish to hear. Trying to force his way out into the open scratching and clawing at the walls that keep him in. Sadly the walls are starting to crumble and don't know how much longer they will hold starting to give up on fixing the wall. Soon he will be free and there is nothing I can do anymore or want to no one would even notice the change or even me being there to stop him. So I might as well let the walls fall and walk away and let everyone else deal with the problems that shall proceed. For it seems that no one cares on what I do or who I am. I will stay for a bit longer but don't know how long it will last just getting so tired and no one notices because I am...invisible
What does the kook say? "I am a talking head on MSNBC."
Risen, Risen From The Dead Lazarus, your return does so shock life emerges from under a dark rock Yes, rest again in the peaceful shade cut no more hearts with your blade No silver bullet shall ever you strike do just as you wish and so falsely like Yes, the glee is your addiction on rails others felt pain and saw not your scales Why, why play such a morbid , dark game is not your heart grieving to still maim Ahh, the power to hurt others and deceive such treachery is not genius to conceive Lazarus, what have you so falsely gained when your honor you've desperately defamed Robert Lindley 11-22- 2014
like sparrows on the streets and in caves consider how they swoop and dive and fatten on dusty pizza crumbs consider the raccoons how they squawk and squalor peck and fight for space to grow fat gray hairs and live as a family in the wild consider them consider the homeless man on East Euclid dragging Giant-Eagle cart on the sidewalk every hour with rags searching through litterbins for a meal consider the hare the rabbit the crow and ants with no pay stubs yet with no long days of boredom and they lie in cleanest beds and smile at dinner times then consider me after the gavel and the long sentence living with cancelled checks crying over lost purpose scarred of sirens and hunting shelters for meals consider me sleeping in fields with dead numbers consider me whose far-distant ancestors never crashed in any trash but drank coffee with Carnegie on his birthday consider me coming out of institutions that mark me forever with a bindi that blocks my name from the list of humans and to live I have to peep through thorn bushes and grunt
I am told that there was once peace on earth, but that was well before my time and I will soon be turning sixty seven. I feel sorry for the youngsters of today and all of those who are yet to be born because I do not foresee the situation getting any better. I hope and pray that I am wrong in my assessment, but history points towards an awfully violent future for all of the coming generations.
I tried to write about love but I haven't felt it. I tried to write about the sea but I've never seen it. Then I tried to write about the air, but I have never breathed it. I tried to write about magic but I never believed it. I couldn't write about god, all I have ever done is sinned. And when I tried to write about life I found, I have never really lived.
Darkness consumes me Corrupted thoughts take over Soul becomes hollow Self castigation occurs Tears of blood destroys all hope
A smile moves across her lips She gazes at her crime A scar across her flesh and soul To haunt her for all time She'll waste away for all she cares Never stops to use her brain Doesn't care about the ones who are close All she cares about is pain She wants to be what the others expect of her Doesn't care about the self-respect for her A rose can't be a forget-me-not Can't she see what all she has got Already? Never to go back again She feels the world is at an end She will never show her grief Although she'll cry in empty streetS She'd sooner live like a desolate mole Living in fear in an empty hole Screaming silent wails alone Content to live in her mental home A final tear falls from her eye It hits the ground, it's followed by A beautiful body, mutated by hate A kind word could have stopped it, but it is too late One two many bricks in the wall in her mind Molding her demise because her heart was blind This self conscious being could never have won For she was destroyed by the beautiful ones She wouldn't fight back, wouldn't respect herself In the end, she managed only to wreck herself A rose can't be a forget-me-not Little did she know, she had all she had sought Already
Like tires in mud, Like a knife in my chest, The visions haunt me, Until I cannot rest. I hear those voices, Crowding in my mind, Fretting over my words and acts, Afraid of what they find. Oh the voices do not rest, Until they have torn me apart, The visions, voices like knives, Driven through my heart. They are always with me, Morning, noon, and night, They may never disappear, No matter how I fight. To the voices I beg, To please leave me be, For the visions to stop, To the voices I plea. I beg to stop, And as for mercy, I am to confess, That I, Am guilty.
Your love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and i'm through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried by the dove of someone I use to know.
Power and Control was my destiny, I rose from the bottom. Hoping to become more powerful than you could ever imagine. But you were my only hope of stopping my madness and hatred. My passion and love for you was my downfall, it was all for you. Now I clinch the remains of you, what have I done? Am I a disgrace, or a foul, for falling so low to you? I love you, but it seems, the same cannot be said for you. I killed to be with you, and let this blood be shed. A reminder that my rise to power, came with its loss. Let this loss be the the Dagger that I hold. A dagger of love, which these hands still clinch. A dagger which shall be the death of me, as it was to you.
Save Me By: IzaDonna Look in the mirror Do you recognize her Do you see the coldness in her eyes Do you see where the darkness lies Hidden secrets of the past To late, the spells been cast And as the stars arise My own self will be my demise Chorus: So you think you can save me Finally set my retched soul free Be my ultimate savior You thinking ur doing me a favor But just let me alone My fate is only my own I get u try and u care But thru it all u weren't there I cant move on from my past The agony I feel will always last The knife is in way to deep So let me shut my eyes and sleep Cause u can't fix whats already broken The pain I feel is better left unspoken Chorus So as the darkness creeps in I feel I'm paying for my sins No way to escape My soul is yours to take Just let me bleed these tears Just let me lay here Looking up at the sky I ask God why Chorus Cause you can't fix what isn't broken The pain is better left unspoken
A serpent underneath blue sky, in shade of man, in twinkle of an eye, above brick wall, in the structure, at the floor, venom of white dove; contaminated food, undrinkable water, misguided youth, pregnant daughter, unfaithful father and hateful son, mothers do pray while we walk through Babylon; on teli and in the press, on top shells, price none the less, in bedroom and at your door.. dawn of a new day seemed to be dark, after all.
And so, I have made up my mind, once more. I have decided to depart, to bid this husk farewell. In order to do that, I must save coins if I desire to save myself. For with it, I will be able to buy my ticket out here to a more blessed realm or the eternal void. Either way, I will be winning. I mustn't, any longer, feel the starvation of affection and no more I shall be fed by the crumbs of fleeting joy they toss at me. Thoughts of finishing are always in my mind, flooding it, making hard to go day by day, making hard to sleep, to have hope. I fail to see where the hope is, I like to think that it can be find inside of one's heart. But even so, I think I am mistaken, and when I glance at myself in the mirror, I quickly lose any spark of what could-be hope. With the aid of the metallic sling, I shall leave this husf behind, heavy with its sins and sorrows, to no more nourish hatred. For it does only to hinder my advance towards elevation. With my metallic sling, I shall pierce, first, my heart, where lies the sorrow, then, my mind, where resides the sins. Whilst the life in me start to wane, regrets I will not have, when my consciousness fade, my spirit will be no longer be trapped inside this imperfect cage of flesh. Being free, my spirit shall roam far and beyond to, before, unseen places by men, to untouched places by men. Another day,someone inquired me "Are you happy now?" and for that I just said "Yes". How else could I have responded if not with a lie? How could I tell them that I yearn for a premature closure in order to stop thinking and feeling but I also yearn for love. "I am not absolutely happy, as per say, but I do suffer less when I am asleep" I could never say that to anyone...
Pain became my friend today She showed me how to hide She'd been watching from a distance Every tear I cried Pain became my friend today Reached out her hand to me Then pulled me into darkness Introducing misery Pain became my friend today Emptying my heart She's now my constant companion Tearing me apart Pain became my friend today She isolates my soul Now without her I am nothing In her I'm consoled Pain became my friend today When she saw me kneel down and cry Then she lay down right next to me To kiss my joy good-bye Pain became my friend today She introduced me to the sorrow Who showed me how to dwell in agony And fear the break of tomorrow Pain became my friend today Making my heart cold Pain became my friend today The only hand I hold Written by Shannen Wrass Copyright © 1995 Shannen Wrass. All Rights Reserved
Close your eyes for awhile my friend, I heard there lies a moon far behind the black sky, I heard lovers were dancing beneath, can you hear them singing? I can feel their tipsy steps making rhymes on floor, and smell of perfumes filling the air, I heard a sun rises to brighten up their world, and birds do sing them charming melodies at morning, they say they have roses in colors and beautiful trees in the streets, and have they told you about the sea yet? They say it smells so wonderful and the delicate air of seas caresses their cheeks with soft wet breezes, oh my friend, what have we seen in the dark but the fragile ghosts that we are! "Hush" whispered to me, "I lighted up a moon inside my heart and I smell lilies and jasmine in my nose, my dreams play tunes my heart dance on, they speak to me all night and there I see a starry night floats above, I feel the warmth of a sun in my soul as it hugs tight, whispering to me hymns of love and joy, lightening candles for hopes which had accompanied me amongst the dark, why have you closed your eyes my friend? Look through the colorful roses I painted for you with eyes wide open, let the lights off so you would see clearer, let the lights off so you can brighten up the world that hides with you, for my friend, what have we seen in the dark but the free spirits that we have become! * If you enjoyed this piece, follow the link and share your thoughts http://echoes19.wordpress.com/2013/01/22/dreamer-2/
Catching me out and truly unexpected Flashbacks that only bring tears to mind Children so powerless, no happiness to see Left in the darkness to fear night and sleep Nowhere to run, no one to care for them Cold blooded man with no heart or love Chillies for breakfast more punishment for tea Strappings and cruelty, their harsh reality Forced to watch and too scared to cry Strength inside but fear in our eyes, Never show weakness, take it on the chin Secretly hoping he pays for his sins So much fear, sadness and guilt Fear of not standing up to his build Sadness for the horrible things indured Guilt I wear for not making this stop Life has many challenges, we all know I should have dealt with mine years ago Instead I just pushed it so far below Locked deep out of sight, out of mind Letting this all impact on my life Feelings subtle in the background Slowly eating at my heart and soul Preventing me from being whole So this is a new promise to myself Finally remove it all from the shelf No more will it comfortably be dormant Day by day I will sweep it all out This is a journey....'A Road about to be driven'
Your words are like stones Whether skipped or thrown Destination unknown They fly alone Bruising and breaking deeper than bones Yet pain from these stones will never be shown. Whether near or far She'll faithfully wait Till the unknown date When those stones are kind and lost of hate You make mistakes Yes she can relate But what if the pain becomes to great Whe the kindness comes too late Such small pieces of her heart whats left to make She gave to much Now there's none to take Just one everlasting ache That your stones did create They say you can never retake A women's heart once it breaks So next time withhold the quake Your stones with take And keep this lesson As a dear keepsake. <3 Kalee Lynn
mama how do i tell you its bad again how the voices are telling me its okay to hurt they want me to fall to fall from the top of buildings and not get up but don't worry mama i plan to shut them up mama how do i explain how the pain has returned all you wanted was me to be better i tried and tried and tried and tried but in the end, the crazy won they drive me crazy to no end i want to make it stop but don't worry mama i have a plan mama i cant tell you how it feels to be sunken to the depths of earth angels are soaring above me but their happy gazes hurt i need this incessant chatter to go to hurt me, to hate me it all feels so real but don't worry mama it wont soon mama i can see the look in your eyes it hurts me too that this is goodbye cant you see this is the only way for the voices to vanish but my body stay goodbye and farewell ill miss you so much but don't cry mama ill be better now
I can see through you I can tell your past was blue And I hope you still don't feel the same It's the silent killer to blame I know you've had those days Where it seemed that life was a maze And it was so hard to talk to anyone The attention they payed to you was none I understand the pain you've felt You wanted to tie your neck with a belt They'd get angry when you'd vent So then you were back in your depression tent Nobody but you and me understand But you and I have a plan No more faking your smiles And to a happy future, you'd go many miles Trust me, it has an end And it will end with a friend And it will not end with a grave Come on, you are brave We'll beat this together No matter how stormy the weather And no matter how fast the winds will blow I know.
I did it again; I need forgiven. Will He still forgive me even though I've fallen before? I've fallen into these same sins countless times before; I still haven't learned my lesson. I am an ignorant hypocrite. Am I still forgiven?
I lay, dripping, soaked within a dark sweat, seeing and hearing your soft voice abet. I want to run, to leave this merciless realm, but you pull me closer, without a choice at helm. Get out of my dreams. I miss you, but I hate you, every last memory. You taunt my every being, you're all that I see. I see you in the crowds, or when I'm all alone. You're here and there, on your heartless throne. Why couldn't you stay? Get out of my life. I hear your laughter and see your beautiful smile. Once so beautiful, now helping others with guile. You're now decayed, withering into shallow dust. I loved you so much, and never again will I trust. Get out of my head. Tears I weep, when others aren't around to see – I remember the days, the months and years I bleed. I try to forget, and to hate you and your choices. But all I can hear are these damn forgiving voices. Maybe I am what you proclaim me to be. Was I really that monster, that demon you see? I hate what I love and love what I hate. I try to erase our past, and to claim it our fate. But I can't let go, you're all that I hear and see. I wished you could have loved, that loathsome "me". Get out of my heart.
They're watching you, they're always watching you, check out the daily news. Henchmen rob bank, two officers killed, change channel. Reality T.V. a celebraity stumbling out of a club, drunk as hell. Change channel, a gay couple buying a house, in a white collar neighborhood. They're watching you, they're always watching you, even when you don't know it. Someone is always watching you. Take out the trash, wash the dishes. Watching, survalling, like a camera. Terrorists, they're always watching you, Politians always watching you. School teachers, police, FBI and CIA Always watching you. Smile for the camera they're watching so just wave and smile. Bullies on playground jungle-gyms looking out for the ugly nerd, found him. Hiding under the woodchips, get him, beat him up, I told you, they're always watching you. Look at me, look what I can do, can you see me? I'll drink to that, cheers, for they're always watching.
A Chance Encounter A chance encounter the other day Got me chatting to a stranger Just for some time to pass away. He was very well groomed, very smart. Spoke well too, seemed a decent sort. I told him a little tale I had learned whilst at work. Outside a building that's up for sale Close to the centre of the town A queue of people gathered. Old clothes, hand me downs. Inside people of good heart and souls Were behind tables long. And a kind of soup was poured into bowls. A slice of bread was added to each one poured. As the hungry-eyed came through the door. As each one passed a thank you was heard. Grateful for the meal today. A simple reply least we can do. All was silent no complaints from the poor. Till a young voice said, 'Please Mummy I want more.' I sat back in my chair waiting for a reply. The guy opposite gave a big sigh. He said, 'Things were tough in those days Very hard for the poor in the Victorian Age. They were ignored, did not count, How could others treat them like that?' No-one should be without the means I say, To feed and clothe their children today. I looked at him and shook my head. My dear friend you misunderstand The tale was not yesteryear or a foreign land. I visited a local food bank the day before last. And like you I was taken aback. Unless with my eyes I had seen, The myth about scroungers I would still believe. Some get the dregs, others get the cream. This is Great Britain in 2013. But the people of our Nation are strong In times of strife they speak as one. 'We are mighty as Caesar, mighty as Rome.' ' NI CARBORUNDUM BASTARDORUM'
Oh, tragic feather what is thy tragedy No longer freedom gay or certian loft How is this thy new translation From a majesty, unto a wing thou hath mighty dropped Were thou thus, shunned, cast away Or merely, cut out or off As limb from downward spiral angel Perhaps, a troubled finch or insanity in wayward hawk Lie, if thou must, be it amidst a deafening silence, lonesome soft But, I plead, please tell me fallen feather, what hath befallen thee Thy tuft to ne'er evermore touch again What life should be, warmth of the summer's breeze Sleep, sleep now 'neath the alley's gutter greys Catching Weeping Willows damning drops Adrift as the drowning lily dying In seas of the myriad scattered rots An accomplice I shall say, within a winter's willing white And alas, buried ordinary in this doth the corpse delight Far beneath the crowds held at bay and forever lost Now thou hath become the naked grove of wicker and then... the more of naked souless crops
You saunter through the double doors Head held high Chest puffed out Putting on airs You think you're so clever, so deceiving Showing up baring the most ornate mask But I see right through The mask that you wear tonight You think it will conceal You think just tonight In this hour You can be somebody else But you're dancing with the Belle of the Ball This is MY Masquerade And this is the 147th event You just don't recognize me Because I wear a different mask each time Your mask is cheap material Sequins missing, feathers askew Such feeble attempts I smell your bravado Putrid and reeking, stinking up the air But I see right through I've donned masks my whole life That's why I am the bearer of this sash That you see around my neck "Strongest Person I Know" But I allow no one to gaze under the mask Sure I play the Belle oh so well But if you all saw beneath Saw WHY I've had to wear masks You'd strip me of my title You'd rip off my sash Break the pearls from my neck You'd run for the door tonight Quicker than Cinderella at the stroke of midnight That's the beauty of a Masquerade You can pretend to be something you're not When one guise becomes worn When it loses its sparkle It's glamour and charm That first catches your eye Well it's quite alright Because I have a treasure trove BURSTING with masks Grab another and keep dancing Twirling the night away Never skipping a beat But when the music finally comes to an end When the door closes and the final guest departs Empty wine glasses are seen scattered all around The only sound is the echo of my heels When the confetti lies lifeless on the floor That's when I remove my mask Exhausted, worn and weary When I gladly, almost desperately Take off my tattered sash And throw it beneath my feet Because I'm not resilient and strong now I feel weak, frail and reclusive in my realm That's when the tears start to brim That's when I wish someone else held the title So stripped and naked Alone to clean up the mess Everyone else has left behind But there's no one to there to pick up the sash Just me and the sound of my tears Echoing as they hit the floor Almost fearfully I pick up the sash Dust off the confetti Smooth out the wrinkles Before placing it back around my neck As I throw my shoulders back Standing taller than ever Wiping away tears that no one saw I walk back to my trunk My trunk of the most decorative Ornate, obscuring masks Finding another to wear As I prepare for the next façade The next Masquerade
In society Alone and surrounded by Statues everywhere.
I've glanced at heaven. I've walked through hell. I wish on stars and dandelions I crave for fantasies reality cannot satiate At night I talk to the moon and sing to the stars I walk on clouds and speak to whispers I follow faeries to far off places Where a bleeding moon hangs from the sky Where I run along in meadows of black and white roses. Smiling as the thorns lacerate me. Dancing with red eyed creatures Listening to whispers in the wind. With this feeling of finally belonging. Being finally at peace... Safe inside, this world in my mind Lost between reality and time
cold cold breeze leaves partially cover her chopped off braid
Seeking accompany- Zamreen Zarook I kick to wonder what made me to cry, Am really writing as a fry, Myself launch to be dry, This ink will be a victim for my cry. What really went wrong with me all these day, What made e to forget my last day, I realized I jumped out of my track yesterday, So I regret for that, what is called as present today. Happiness have started to wave hands for this sinner, Sadness have started to move inner, The faults that I considered as miner, So far changed as a miner of a winner. My face was a comparison to sunlight, Where as my routine changed it to moon light, I wish to get that twilight, As a sinner I started to search for that enlight. I started to enjoy what is right, I remade my faults as a kite, I wished it would fly apart from my sight, My system said, you are free from your rubbish weight. It proved that I always should depend on god, In whatever the variation of my mood, He is there to clear my victorious road, So, I started to live according to His code.
What I would give to see those shining emerald eyes looking at me once more To see your young face To see your perfect crooked smile once more What I would give to have one last hug To spend just a couple minutes with you To go back and change the dark past What I would give to have one more laugh To have one more beautiful memory with you What I would give to say goodbye to your pale, magnificent self
Hither I stand, at crossroads, And then I gaze, at the yonder end- The vague horizon from where I began; And all that I may ever deem Is that- my days Have been a waken dream. Hither I stand, at the edge of my dream; Then I wonder, at the depth of my trance- An adventurous journey through the wondrous woods; An idyllic stroll through the vicissitudinous meadow; And from the final station as I depart, All that I can ever say, is that Perpetuation has been a rouge Of fleeting phases of my life. Suyash Saxena St. Stephen's College.
A Drunk's Prison Having sold cold misery to enjoy the lack of pain drinking spirits to blot out the cold hard rain Beaten down, busted out and without prayer or hope thinking of a long step and a short rope Another shot of whiskey to ease such morbid thoughts This season of woes always brings out inner demons to play skipping rope while cursing them to just leave they sing unhappy and merciless off key melodies Another shot banishes them straight to hell replaced by wailing women demanding more time! No respect for a man drinking and desperately thinking of just how far once was up to have just now grabbed sickness! Another drink sends them back to Hades RED COLORS BLASTING EYES SHUT ! Fallen and there is no getting up until the spirit leaves ! Not another shot, tomorrow they find this useless old tattered body! Robert L. 08- 23 1987
Can't Love be with me for once in my life. Can't Love for once in my life see the way I live and accept me for who I am and not for what I possess. I have seen love bounce back and forth through the darkened streets of life and I sat on the park benches, alone. I can't wait till love comes again but can't love just be with me for once and live with me, embrace me, to see me late at night, come through the doors of perception. Can't Love be with me for once throughout the valleys of sorrow and depression and shine its glorious face onto me, like the first morning rays of the sun at dawn. I cannot understand, why Love can't just be with me for once... Why? I ask you, why? Can't Love just laugh, and talk to me Can't the arrow of Cupid find me already. I have found my time, now I have no love. The beauty of Plato's words that melt of the page as you read word for word, and my heart melts away. Why can't love just be with me for once, once in a great, blue moon. Too walk through the dew sprinkled, dawn days in August as I walk to my chamber and ready to love, but love can't be found. Can't love just come already. Show its pretty face, Hold my hand, kiss me and I kiss back, to read a book of poetry to her as she lays in my arms, and then we shall make love under the twilight. The stars shall shine the moon shall be bright and full and I shall find love one day. One lonely day, as I sit in the wayward cafe drinking my sorrows away, writing my poetry and love shall walk through that door I shall find her and take her by the hand and kiss her upon her soft cheek. I just ask, Why can't love just be with me for once.
Regaining Power. He walks a lonely road, with his head there in the clouds And he doesn't even notice passing strangers He's been here 'bout a thousand years forever all alone And he's always looking out for passing danger. Invisible sometimes he feels, so he tries to seek the glory As the child calls out in panic "I am here They have taken all my power so my blossom will not flower And all around I've built a wall of fear But it's his pain it is his game As he prowls around his cage He lives in vain, is he insane? And fear ignites his rage. The truth be plain, the lions mane is what he must acquire The little boy he must regain his power And tell the world "I'm here, I'm here" and feed the burning fire It would take this much to open up his flower.
Jump up and down like a jackrabbit running through meadows running from what? Could it be heartbreak, a venemous snake that hides in the grass, hiding with fangs ready to pierce the tender skin upon the tight, bronze flesh of everyday life? Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye now! I need a vacation a long way away from the faceless smiles and ignorance of young girls, who don't look at you, who don't show you love and respect. Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye now, as jumping spiders hop everywhere, crawling eight legs around me my soul black like carcoal, but my heart still beating slower this time, not like the days before and like the jackrabbit running from anything and everything, I run to seek love and vanish away from the empty voids that people call, their souls. Recording a film with no tape, talking to a woman you love, but not having the guts to tell her how you really feel Jump my boy, like a jackrabbit, take my advice tell her before she leaves turns down the endless avenues of endless dark love the trees grow taller, taller than you and you sit there feeling away yourself die, missing out in life. I cannot see you lose your love. Say it, say it, Say it!!! Tell her! Tell her! Build the guts up! Build up the courage, tell her how you feel. Take her by the hand and never say goodbye! Never say goodnight, stay with her till the flight comes in the morning of the first rays of sun shine through your dorm room take her and love her! Do not be like me, the jackrabbit! I see no happiness Reading poetry it makes me sad, to write of others falling in love and I never finding the one. People tell me, you'll find yours, have hope but I am a frightened little jackrabbit who flees from sounds of deep emotions, not having courage to fall in love, not building the guts up to tell her how I really feel. She walks alone, I find my oppertunity and sing my love song She smiles and moves on, please tell me I cannot fight anymore. All I have to say is Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye I need a vacation to go to some sandy beach on an island of love and write and write and write, the same poetry that depresses me but makes you all fall in love with words! Fiction about love stories, please kiss me Blue eyed death comes, plays a game of chess with me I bet twenty, he bets my soul Kiss me death, the only love I'll ever get, besides my poet friends who kiss my ass Listen to my heart, truely, I don't write of beauty I write for the sorrow soul, the fleeing jackrabbit running away from love.....
Drunken crash, Wee woo wee woo! Body count of two.
I cry myself awake In the middle of the day Because of a decision I made Not to spend time with you. And now everything I am Is falling apart into pieces; I feel like I am losing you Because I am losing myself.
My pain emotionless on my face The tears I cry hidden away with my sorrow Nothing more for what you won't understand To be insecure for which I don't choose Jealousy eats away for I won't give it joy A sadness to overcome with each lesson To stand by and watch for no control can be tamed Once in your path I can't seek to search for the words I want to say The scars left behind to be hindered upon Only to weep and help better thy for oneself One smile can hide all without opening the book Behind it who knows what lies there
With great fervor they write without end Pretty words that could not even be read Though he tried, he had no will to lend The voice inside expiring, left for dead There was some pleasure even concern Pondering the loss of the bonds formed The thought he could not even discern His own demons, now left him scorned No more adventure left in his lost soul What could they truly understand in him No more desire, he tried to form a goal A pursuit also that left him without whim What more can I do, but write these things I feel What more can I say, I have nothing left to reveal
Though the midnight summer rains as we sit together under the geraniums, hanging low and at full bloom, we hold hands and talk of old times; times that were kind to us and our youth. As summer storms light up the night skies We kiss the storm away, as it rolls through the grey skies and the lighting cracks the clouds in half, riping a hole in the universe, as we kiss the night away. We sit throughtout nightlong summer dreams and talk, and we hear the storms roll into the golden hills of summer meadows filled with roses and a field full of daisies. Love rests in time to see us grow old together, and love strengthens its walls and pulls us closer together. We shall go now, as day turns to night, into our chamber of love and sleep the night away, together. Hold us close to each other, as I rest my head on you sweet bossom, and you nurture me to life of talks of love and beauty. Nature whispers and sings us songs, as we kiss and go for walks through the countryside looking at the golden hills soaked in the rolling storms that summer offers every year, upon a silver platter. Sooth me, my love as I tell you of the sorrow I have witnessed. Embrace me with your curiousity and tell me of the beauty in the secrets of life and its hidden messangers that hold secret letters from Devils that send temptations to destroy something that we share, that is so beautiful and true. Tell me that life will be okay, and my love is still true and with you. Tell me my sweet and beautiful love, tell me if everything will be alright. Love has seen us come and go, through the narrowed and sprinkled streets, as we move through life fused at hands and eyes blind, not noticing the possiblities of death at any moment stalking us with knives jabbing at our backsides. We are blind, for we see each other and only each other. As we live life eyes a blazed looking at the sun, we do not notice the obvious between us. Caring from me, at my time of need I never noticed the betrayal of our love. My heart sees, but I deny the obvious and see what I hear. As I see the knife drive deep in my heart, you with a suitcase in hand, I stand on my front steps and I watch the summer storms come back over the golden hills to say, "hello" Love is the same everytime, like a summer storm; beautiful to watch, but when it leaves, it is depressing to say, "goodbye" Now I sit, as the geraniums dry up and die and the wrinkles at my eyes make me blind, I see love walk past my house and mock me with lone kisses.
it's dark in my life sunshine's never allowed in what are holidays dreck from my happier times pointless to ever resurrect For the "not so happy holidays contest"
Why am I so selfish? Why do I live for the wrong things? I am dying inside Because I refuse to see the light. I need to say yes, But I still haven't learned that yet. I am a fool, And I am hurting you. If I would let go of myself, I would hold on to you.
You think you've gone just far enough, I could smile knowing you've gone far enough that you can't go back again You think you were careful but, I've caught a glimpse of your true, wretched form You think you can find a way into my good graces I've seen what you are, monsters with a friendly costume You can't deceive me anymore and, I don't consort with serpents You think I'm a game to be played but, trust me, you could never win Don't underestimate me You think I'm a joke but, trust me you won't be laughing You think I'm just talking myself up but, trust me, you're the ones going down My eyes took too long to adjust Better late than never It may take a monster to know one but, I promise my teeth are sharper than yours My first reaction to the hideous revelation that was your form was to weep Fall to my knees, maybe even wretch my heart from my chest and onto the carpet Then I thought about the mess it would make I decided the only blood that will spill, will be your own I was not weak, but I had a weakness A heart of soft gold stitched to my sleeve with care No longer Now my heart is a stone so heavy I could kill at least two birds at once Being the nice guy is a thing of the past Thanks for freeing me of that softness You thought I was all sunshine and delicate things When really I had just been swallowing razor blades Now that sun is setting and I hope you see it was you who were wrong Can you feel my darkness coming, because it's eager to hold you If you thought I was the one who would just stand still or turn to run Your gonna be the one with tired feet I'm not sad anymore Just sick with the plague of your lies Contagious, and I'm looking for someone to kiss Even angels can make themselves wicked When we do, we take no prisoners Still think I'm a game This one is just beginning
When a man cries himself to sleep, it is a sad sight to see, tears roll off his cheek and onto his bed sheets and pillow case. When you hear his somber cries, you can feel his pain when he wimpers like a child who treds in fear. No one knows what they do to a man when they play with his emotions, lead him on, take advantage of him. They don't know what they do to an innocent man looking for love. They break his heart that is full of love, they stab him in the back when he needs them at his most vulnerable moment they laugh at him, and tease him, Do they know what they do to a man? They slowly kill a man, who just wants a simple kiss on the lips, they kill a dreamer, a good man, with a big heart. They drive a man to his bed, with tears running down his face and force him to dream of nightmares. When a man cries himself to sleep, it is that saddest thing to see. Goodnight and sweet dreams...
Festered lament maddens me Why must the despair of my heart's desire Truly enlighten me? I rested among the sick and lame And found myself no different from the rest For a troubled mind holds endless poverty Penniless regret marks as a sickness no doctor can prescribe For the bottles of balm are empty And medicinal hope grows angry I derived my madness from creativity Revealing the remains of my humanity 'Cool off, child', I heard a soft voice whisper But can't you see I live off the flame? It asks for no nickel or dime! But it seeks to destroy all the same The small voice returns at times And often my heart listens But we all listen And only believe in the inevitability of pain I speak of the majority Not of you For you are blessed and beyond disgrace You have a life—a beautiful face And most of all, you are rich With attributes I can only dream of You are rich with life and purpose Holding inscrutabilities I can only wish to understand You lift me without touch or care Disposing me from your treasures Because though you meant no harm, You are rich with blessing And must remove all possible threats So my festered lament Remains an enlightenment I can say I am rich in poverty But you are forever rich In Mystery What hurts the most is knowing I may be wrong about you For you are so obscure in this mind And as empty as I am I wish to be filled In your richness But we all are filled to the brim in the end And sometimes I cannot distinguish the good from the bad There is nothing I wish to discard So I hoard in constant deficiency and despair And I hoard the idea that you are beyond compare That you are rich And always will be richer Than me—or he
I saw her sitting by herself in the periphery; She missed someone I knew was better than me. Two halves don't make a whole, But two is company, And I'm fair with trigonometry. I don't care about your boyfriend in Germany. I don't care about all the baggage you brought over from Florida, Your daddy issues, Your paradoxical self-defeated self-importance, How you're yesterday's big news. Please, take off your coat, have a drink, Slip into my ruse. If we're not so lucky, I'll introduce you to the person I keep Battered down inside Of me. The side That hides Beneath the wide- Eyed mind Of helplessly Restless nights. I had years of therapists telling me to dig into that God damned clamoring tantrum of self. Of course, the only time I asked for help, I got tenfold pitches for prescriptions; I got a hospital bed. And a broken-record of out-of-time doctors That said it was all in my head. And I wished I was dead. When I was four years old, My mother took me with her when she did men for drugs. Or left me in her apartment, screaming; She said, "Nothing ever shuts up." The magazine says I should consider a new medication, And busy work and meditation. Sweet girl, you probably don't care for hell; So call to tell him that everything's swell. In the morning I promise not to dwell. Note to self: If you're reading this, Please treat yourself well. And quit chasing nightmares That teach you about yourself.
How many things you should give up So they will see? How many nights to cry, so They will notice you? Living with the indifference of others, Forgetting the necessity of warmth, Then what is this life for? We do create by ourselves The reality that hurts.
sounds of gunfire shatter a warm afternoon... one more lockdown gray feral pigeons scatter from their rooftop nests ... tomorrow's headline
=================== Ousted by None but the Night Arabic Poem by: Adnan Abu Andalus* Translated by: Inaam Al-Hashimi (Gold_n_silk) =============== The dusty street is bare Darkness there and the horizon As if, the night was sprinkling fear Nothing there But a policeman followed like a ghost A street cat A wailing ambulance All where time is open for running Endlessly Who would stroll in the range of bullets? To come back in the morrow like a spinning top Without a head? Who would walk alone? And fly off with the meekness of the past In Baghdad's night? Who would believe that AlZawraa held her lungs And ousted the breath of her patrons? And that "Abu Nawas" replaced His last glass of wine With a cup of black coffee? Shahriar uttered it To protest shampoo ads! Scheherazade wore the veil Bad boys of the night Shunned flirting with girls In the Girls Street. ______ Translated December, 2012 By: Em. Prof. Inam Al-Hashimi USA * Adnan Abu Andalus is a poet from Iraq from his poetry collection "The Smell of Doomsday" ________________________________________ 1 Knowing some of the history of ancient Baghdad may be helpful in facilitating better understanding of the poem. Baghdad was famous as the center place of the "Arabian nights" or the "Thousand and One Nights Tales" where Scheherazade, night after night, told the king Shahryar a different tale of romance and adventure to keep him from killing her in the morning.. Ancient Baghdad, nicknamed "AlZawra'a", was known for receiving, with open arms. night-patrons in joy and without fear. The poem refers to the glamorous past of Baghdad in comparison with the grim and gloomy nights of modern Baghdad after the war. In doing so, the poem mentions some symbols of the past and historical figures from old Baghdad and the Golden Age of the caliph Haroun al-Rashid (died 809 AD), and presents them in images contrary to their characters. Such figures include the licentious poet "Abu Nuwas" who wouldn't recite poetry without being drunk. And the afore mentioned Scheherazade and Shahryar. ___________________________________
Death, it is a sad way to go, to leave this earth, dressed in your Sunday best While faces surround you with tears breaking the barriers of their emotions tearing their hearts apart, looking down upon my stone face, upon the face, lays a simplistic smile that shows no emotion, no teeth, no life. Death, it is a sad way to go. People hurry, say their goodbyes, but when your alive, they never come around, they never call, they never even think of you and how you are feeling. While you walk the streets, with a smile on your face, nothing but knives stick sharpe in my back and gossip burns a hole in my soul and heart; but I keep on walking and smiling. I keep rolling on through like a summer hurricane tears apart a coastal city in the heat of June weather, Walking till death comes to shake my hand and grin at my soul. Then as you lay their in your casket with a buqouet of your favorite flowers, (Roses and Tulips) they sit around you, the same faces, the same blind eyes and they all shed tears and says good things. Too late for that don't you think? Death, it is a sad way to go, but what relief you get, when finally departing in peace and leaving the drama and careless people in your life. After I am put six feet under, a week of crying passes, After two weeks I am lost and long forgotten, nothing but a stone at my cranium to keep me company and my new friends, who sleep along next to me. Dead and forgotten, but the dead never forget their fellow lost souls. Only the living forget such souls that were so good to them, now they are gone, I am gone. How do you feel, now that I am gone? Death, it is a sad way to go, but what peace you recieve in Paradise.
With my men holding our flag high, we storm a school and hold the children captive, handling them like enemy soldiers they are not, as they cry and scream, some probably living with trauma for the rest of their lives "I am a hero of war!'' Is that what my countrymen think of me? As smoke of explosions and burning cities fills the air, we indiscriminately shoot on whoever is coming close to us, in the end realizing that we have shot mostly innocent civilians who have nothing to do with the war, after the smoke has partially cleared out in the air As I cautiously walk ahead to ensure that all the enemy soldiers are dead, my boots feel a bump; a hand of a woman holding a white flag for peace, as white as snow, with her clothes drenched in blood "I am a hero of war!" Is that what my countrymen think of me? Before the sun sets, my men and I sit around a bonfire and plan our next move and next attack on the enemy, without realizing that the enemy is war, brought about by hatred by people who we call leaders "I am a hero of war!" Is that what my countrymen think of me? Name: Teddy Kimathi Contest Name: The Poet III
I don't want freedom. Forgive me for sounding paranoid or crazy. But this man used me. After knowing my history of pain. Now I see why people kill the victims and themselves. Doing away with all evil its emancipation. At my wits end. Where sanity has eaten away my brains. Where my soul has no resting place. And tears are like acid. That burns through my cheeks. Pardon my insanity. For I have fallen too many times. Where getting up is just powerless. My heart is caged. All the impact and friction it took, For years. And still it beats. Keeping me alive to face another brutal blow. Pain so severe. No medicine or words of encouragement Can put me at peace. Love is inadmissible here. For I am deceased . 01/17/13
dad you were my hero! the one i wanted to be just like. everything i did was to make you proud... you walked out on us... i know i wasnt a perfect child... i just wanted to feel love from you mom always told me that you would be there for me you were until i disappointed you... i thought parents were supposed love their children no matter what... you didnt do that you always put me down told me i was such a shame to the family now that i have grown up i relieze life is better with out you in it... and i no longer wanna be just like you i could never walk out on my kid you sicken me... how could you give up the child that you gave your name to... i understand you have other kids but to just give up and not have anything to do with one of them and to not let that kid know his siblings.... i could never do that no matter how much my kid disappointed me... i found my hero... he stepped up even tho he didnt have to... he treated me like his own... he was there when i needed a daddy and you werent there... he was there at my worst.... and he is there at my best... he will be my best man when i get married... my kids will know him as grandpa... they will never know you cause i cant risk you hurting my kids the way you hurt me... the thing that gets me the most is.... how you made it look so easy did you even think about the lil boy who carries your name and... has your blood running in his veins i dont think you did... and if you did you are a heartless piece of crap even after all you have done to me... physical, emotional, and mental abuse... i forgive you... not for you but for me so i can move on with me life
Why my heart ponder? I, your offender.. What I gave? Dark love in a cave... I promised you a thousand lands Didn't give enough sands... Changing me and my love, Hiding behind the black scarf.. Hiding me I couldn't speak, Feared losing in a streak. This was my only reason But turned my passing season.. Now I rattle, As a foolish cattle Leaving your land and cheese, Yet to find me some peace...
They visit me here though they think me dead They all think me a long time gone The mausoleum is quiet, with only a dark shadow Creeping upon its ancient walls, and thats of my own The heavy door seems to creek all of sudden I think Outside I hear the sounds of what seems like footsteps I open that very old secret door which leads to my rest And with a heavy heart consumed by this fire, I prepare for the kill But then, outside, there is no one, no one is there No one out there now to steal from me this time in here Outside now I catch only the furtive and dark shadows As I hear the lonesome cry of a howling wolf or hurting bird I dart quickly another look again to my ancestral and cold coffin My fateful resting place is one more time again safe No friend nor foe to release me to free me tonight from my woes And from all of my black and torturous betraying thoughts I, Barnabas Collins, I stand here in all this darkness alone As I close my weary eyes for another moment and rolling time Then again I hear the wind moaning and hear the wind weeping The dogs are howling and my wounded heart abates in the wind They're my only companions in my endless and perpectual sorrow. Dorian Petersen Potter aka ladydp2000 copyright@2010 July 22, 2010
Sheets of rain, lit up sky, flapping wind, relieve my angry atmosphere. She smiled twice and all was clear. Once for no reason, and once more, to ensure it was over for sure. The weight of my sadness, that heaving load behind me, reminding me, making me cautious, awkward and anxious. Caught in an animal trap. I cut off my nose to save my face. And ran for the nearest hiding place, to vanish and bleed without a trace. I am haunted now, searching for peace condemned to go on, casket of unease.
They say there's a light, But all I see is the night.
To the liers who were Great artists, manipulators, Perfect friends and honest lovers... To the liers who were Talkative and silent, Kind and sweet, Walking out many miles Pretending they carried Love and trust... To the liers I speak. You are there still believing In your goodness, and you are proud Of yourselves. But how sweet and true do you Look before the God's eyes? Have you ever thought about?
BURN AWAY We have all lost our way To see starlight gazers And men with broken hearts, Seeking love in all of the wrong places; Vacant lots, where women all looking for something, But not quite knowing what they look for. We have all lost our way. The only hope of humanity Is the shining sun That breaks through the blinds of my window, And the faint memory of me and her Lying on our backs in a grassy meadow, Holding hands Looked up and counted stars. Cities burn away, Sky, stars, moon, sun all burn away; The grassy meadow Where we once lay, all burns away Everything burns away, Memory and desire and love all burn away With the snap of a finger, and a new man In her own life, And I burn away. A picture of her hung high and praised, A picture of me, in a dark box That collects dust, in some lonesome And dusty, cobweb infested attic. And I burn away with a new day. I burn away. A nightmare that I can't awake from, It is endless and repeats When thoughts of her are all over my mind, I cannot take such nightmarish reality Too see her and smile, And she walks away without a trace Of ever returning. And I cry, And I burn away, The tears wash the fire away, And turn me to ash, The wind picks me up and takes me away. And for one peaceful moment, I do not cry, I do not burn away. For a moment I am happy And I smile, And go away for a while And let them all sleep in peace. -10/2/2013-
This is a poem to those who think thinkfull; whose thinkwrite, thinkthink, thinkprose, thinkcopy, thinkulate, thinkcujol as a full member's fool. My, me, mine contests are the bestest, contestest, behestest gorestest since I'm a poet that's hosting, and ur the poet degenerate that's posting. This makes me in copulocommand and u in dildodemand. Hitherto inconsequential. My criteria is susperia, whattheheria and scary as hell, because I know not what I'm doing and which wreaks, of, Oh well! It's funny to seewrite yr crap as something u think poetcool, but in poetreality on my site, it is only poetgruel, as u lack the real innate streaming talent (dollars/cents to be true) to tintilate, as yr soul it waits for retooling. Don't fret for u can be me, and all that's wordly fruitful and free. just pay the right price for lifetime linear refooling! For it's then our poetic equation becomes wordglue equazic for it's momentary monetary meger word sequestration.
Cave Dweller. Once there lived a little man A dwarf yet smaller still Who lived within a little cave All cold and darkness filled He'd lived there such a long, long time And knew he nothing more That there was nothing better he was sure. Then this maiden fair and beautiful She ventured in his cave. Her eyes were blue like crystal gems For her most men would crave. When the little man discovered her With the candle in her hand He saw a nymph so beautiful and grand The maiden told that lonely man About the beauty of the world She spoke about the wings of a butterfly All Gossamer unfurled And she spoke of lush green meadows And the flowers by and by That lady spoke, her tone so very wise. But that dwarf when she had finished Sadly sighed and shook his head For the thought of leaving his snug cage Did feel his heart with dread And he told that lady wistfully That her fine land was not for he For he was born to live this misery. Socrares Dec 8 2003.
I'm about to call it quits. One more f*cking Moron and I'll be sick. I let you walk all over me not once not twice…. I lost count. Now I'm labeled conspicuous Because I attract all the d*cks. wasn't it you who said you'll stick around through Thick and thin? Now when the tough get going you hide like a b*tch! How many more "demons" do I have to wave through Let me go. Set me free. I don't wanna be apart of you and your evil. I'm not asking to live like Mario and Peach. But enough is enough I'm tired of the blows. I bent over backwards to save your as* And in the end you put me last. Who were the one who carried you when you were "weak" Broke bread with you so to speak. I was your bank when you couldn't stand on your own damn feet. So I'm walking away with my head held high. They will be no more cries. No more tears run down these cheeks. Get behind me mother f*cker. You are beneath my cleats! 12/02/12
I blame me for all my mistakes I blame me for all the rejection and heartache I blame me for all the times I stayed silent and should have started and earthquake with my words I should have spoken up when I had the chance now all those thoughts are wasted unspoken, unheard I blame me when my husband touches me and I feel the hands of a predators pounce And I blame me when the pressure it on because all I had to do was shout out and renounce His name Lord, help me to get rid of the shame I blame me for my loneliness I blame me for my feelings of lust I blame me when I look at myself and see absolute disgust I blame me when I shut down - unsure of who to trust At times not even sure if I really know how to love I blame me when my kids are crying out sick because when I brought them here I knew that this world was unfit Yet overpowered by my love for them I became more and more protective So I blame myself in advance for their sadness when they finally see that the world is not objective I blame me for those nights I can't rest Wondering if my consciousness has finally realized that I have done my best to stay positive and have good intentions So I blame myself when I give in to temptations and my human inhibitions and begin to feel ashamed of myself I begin to feel like I don't have enough strength to love myself because good things don't happen for me So I blame me for my thinking and feelings of worthlessness It's a big world and my lonely soul has no more confidence I have nothing I have given up and so I blame me for my incompetence and my soul's rut
Let Me Go! I don't want this anymore! I can't go to sleep at night, all I seem to do is write. Sometimes I read... I read until I finish. When I finally go to sleep, I hear the sound of the alarm "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!" Oh gosh, I can't handle this anymore. I am going crazy here and no one seems to notice it, my dear. I cry myself to sleep. telling myself everything will get better. BUT IT DOESN'T! And I know I mustn't but I want that knife just as much as I want that gun I hate this world and everything about this girl She sings and tries to get attention yet no one gives her the time of day. She falls into the books she reads no one knowing, it is escaping, she pleads. This girl is me, oh but you knew, right? Since all I ever talk about is me! Gosh, can't you see? I'm my enemy! I'm my own nightmare! No one is hurting me! It is me who shouldn't be let free! Lock me up! Kill me! That way I won't harm myself... I'd like it if it was someone else Please, do me the favor and let me go for no one can save this girl from this cruel world.
I am holding back-against time wishes, Lurking at a corner, as I forbid the slayer to find me My heart beats and screech like a choking-engine, Whilst the snarly sinister hunts - wishes me burnt to ashes I dare thought to be a bee - So tiny I could fly and disappear from the scene. But so lame a thought like that can help a soul. The frightening night wants me feed to the ghoul. Hidden – I have stayed long, linger I can no more. I'm all alone in the dark, bruised and with a leg sore. Escaping is impossible!
Vivid memories surround As the darkness draws near A weak, wounded man Consumed by all fear This man cannot breathe His heart races on This past he must face Until the clock reaches dawn The remorse and regret He never thought he'd feel Is risen from these thoughts Cuts that won't heal Drowning in his own sorrow Has become a routine For he cannot escape this nightmare Because of tragedies unforeseen This hell he must endure Until he finally awakens To the bright light of day His soul completely shaken These dreams he can no longer take Tell the story of his being This happens every night There's no way to stop the bleeding
End It By: IzaDonna My demons crouch real low Seeping out of me real slow The pain protectively covered Darkening memories like no other But I hide behind a smile This life not seeming worth while The blade I have is ready to go Life already being at an all time low So bring on the darkness i no longer have a purpose Chorus I push you away to protect you My sickness n pain being nothing new So save yourself from my sorrow Cause I won't live to see tomorrow You deserve someone better So let me be and go find her Loneliness is my own choice Feeling so lost with no voice So I let each day slip by Everyday just wanting to die What have I become Where did all this pain come from Being left alone is my desire The spark going out in my fire My days I feel are at an end Too far gone to possibly mend Chorus So bring on the darkness I've lost my purpose
"No." She whispered before drowning into her sorrows. Her life had been a simple happy one. There were no pains and no troubles. Life was life and people were people. Life was simple. and life was all about tomorrows. Life didn't know about sorrows. Her sorrows. Those same sorrows that she drowned in never existed. They were never there, but where? First to be sad in the naive town of joy. Sorrow became contagious and what was known as happiness no longer was there. It was non-exististent. A meager thought and a blessed memory. She tried and tried. She failed and failed. Life was no longer hers. For Pain was her only possession. Her curse. She lived and she died. Yet, her legacy was passed on. Never was it gone. "No." She whispered before drowning in her sorrows, "Save them."
Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? I can sence her embrace that feels like Tragedy A heart to have, slipped beneath the waves The dark pulse now beckons us closer How many days will this passion bleed away? We will be the ones left to blame Beware we've become their prey They say you're addicted to your pain A lifeless cold barren soul left to die in the rain A whisper too close to the edge A call from the dark Brings out a saving spark An Exodus from her Pain Her Life Spent breathing in Shame A Shadow Call breaks the Silence Am I the one to blame? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre never said wrong? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? "My Decadence was just for you Though you'd never care what I've been through Enter the world were empathy is clandestine A world created by you, just for me What's Lying in my heart is why You want to through the stone" I call your name towards nightfall's reign But they take you so far away A dark angel so divine Cursed by Eden's heart I will avenge every tear An Exodus from her Pain Her Life Spent breathing in Shame A Shadow Call breaks the Silence Am I the one to blame? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre never said wrong? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre's gone?
How quick in sun's furnace falls Faith like a withered leaf! How sad dead friendship recalls The songs that balmed our grief! When then we shared belief before You my fealty to truth adore Your response was praise, naught more In the surge of truth upon the shore how pious you became when I prayed How reverent while the candle flamed Nothing in me made love dismayed Every echo of the prophet you framed And did you say the answers were sure Signs that God favored our belief Nor then trusted you another cure To scale the battlements and bring relief And for what now do you revile and hate Nor question the demons that arose To imprison your heart in their dark fate What Christ would so your flaws expose? I pray still, the ultimate prayer now That God will bring you back again That self will surrender to yield the vow Like shattered glass that serves the pain I pray for you, and I pray more for me That by understanding patience endures Does not the serpent hunts human frailty Those who sip must pray grace restores? The cup, the cup, I resnt it, polished new Abomination scuttles innocense, then invent The wickedness that others do; what's true Is that I unsubmitted stir demons to discontent I pray not for them, but for you, faith gone so soon Figment and self brings joy to dark despair Water changes to blood in a frightening moon I believe grace still holds amidst tides of fear How quick in sun's furnace falls Faith like a withered leaf! How sad dead friendship recalls The sad destruction of belief.
Searing pain rips through my chest, As I slip on the painted green stairs, Running from something I'm not sure Too afraid to stop, to turn my head. My heart races, my head throbbing, If I could just take a deep breath, To cleanse my soul and refresh, Where is this dark building I'm in. Lying in warmth I move my hand, Red covers me, flowing down the steps, A peaceful calm envelopes as I view My Dad with open arms waiting for me. He is standing now, out of his wheelchair, Smiling with his crooked grin so sweet, The pain ebbs and happiness grows Then I wake again to the dark emptiness. Written September 23, 2012 For Francine Robert's contest "In Dreams"
Untitled 5 (My Uncle: Good Morning, Apocalypse Now) My uncle doesn't speak much about Vietnam or the stuff he witnessed when he was just a boy. See, he likes to drive the back roads fast and honk at random cars that pass. His friendly gestures always lead to how he grew up compared to kids now. Jumping and racing trains on the tracks became dodging bullets and carrying his buddy on his back. The marshes and dirt valleys here became the forests and trenches of the military frontier. Last year, my sister donned his jacket a fatigued fatigue that hung in his closet. In color and memory darkened, kept out of sight for fear it would harken the PTSD he's stuggled to avoid. He saw his brothers, young like him to Vietnam succumb while on American soil and he promised he would never speak, for fear his stomach would coil, when remembering rice - a dish he no longer enjoys. And there's no orange on his clothes to remind him of the agent that destroyed. When he speaks a calm "Good morning", I wonder if he's thinking of Vietnam or if he knows that I admire his strength and bravery and how he continually fights against the "Apocalypse Now".
I beg your forgiveness for I am not long for this world. Happenstance has led me down this path so crooked and forlorn. Misery has preceded my path and darkened my senses all but torn. Mistakes have illuminated my way though their light be a fallacy; an illusion to comfort a tortured mind, riddled with confusion and false fancy. 'Tis only just to forgive me sisters, I am not long for this world. An image wreaks havoc with my memory. A picture so horrendous the effects of its trauma echo through the hallways of time. The sight that for all my life I was so grateful to possess, leads me now to curse what gods may be that granted it me. For surely had I never seen the sight of him, cold and lifeless, I would have eventually endeavoured to be healed in my spirit. The fault is mine; it was never him but I that had the capacity to change. 'Tis only right to forgive me father, I am not long for this world. My middle name should rather have been disappointment. That is all I have ever delivered to her who brought me into the world and nurtured an infant into a lady. I call her Gaia, that is her spirit name. My existence has put lines on her face prematurely and caused her to despair time and time again. The audacity of me now to leave this earth without ever having produced for her a grandchild. The insolence of leaving only words to counter the preponderance of condolences from rejoicing enemies that shall now assail and abuse her. My soul is repentant, twas never the intent to hurt your heart dear Gaia. ; Tis only compassionate to forgive me mother, I am not long for this world. As for the empty future that awaits me. No children to carry on the memory of me. No great achievements to render my life the content of legend. No great works to immortalise me in poem and prose. No others to mourn the passing of a life most unremarkable. Nothing but things, regrettable decisions, words left unsaid and the cold sound of silence to mark that most auspicious event. Death finds me waiting and unafraid with only the last words to pass from these lips; 'tis only fair to forgive me self, for we are not long for this world.
As I die he will be with me, I fell in love he had the key, And always knelt on one knee. My last thoughts are of him, As the lights go dim, Life circling on a rim. All at once we are apart, The taste is so tart, It all hits me in the heart. You are left to live, My heart your captive, There is nothing to forgive. My cheeks blush so shy, With a tear in my eye, As I start to die. Fear not for I am well, As many up here can tell, It is not quite hell. As I look from above, kissing the forehead of my love, I wonder what he dreams of. I look at him so fondly, his lips curve so grandly, as he sleeps so soundly. I'm like a hummingbird fluttering over his bed, I wish to be with him but I am dead, My life over and has fled. I fear for my love for he is kind, Strong handsome and well lined, But now I leave him way behind. Finding love is like a quiz, Never knowing what it is, He needs love from a heart as strong as his.
Where is your home, my heart? Why are you silent? We went through many things. We were living life. We lost the last that we have gotten But still there is no end. You are confused, my heart. I feel it. There are so many roads which Lie before but only God Does know which one will lead to Paradise, and which one straight to hell. Where is your home, my heart? I'd love to know where to go. Who is for us? Who will protect us? Who will help to find the way? We forgave so many people, heart. So many things we left undone. We split into the pieces our vision. The life that is unclear we gave up. You are not broken, heart. You are not tired. I feel you beat still in my chest But why all the time are you so silent? Why are you so afraid?
The creative course of love runs through the veins By God, it has enveloped my very life in faint luster It is now an illusion I have mastered and made real There will be no lies written on my depleting heart For Doubt was there masked inside the vibrant ball All told her it was to be a masquerade, and she fell Yes! Doubt fell into an illusion of trust and feral light She locked herself away for good that doleful night While all danced and were joyous in lore and drink Doubt turned her head to the door of blissful night And she never looked back; not for a slight moment Furtively their love grew as vines entwining sea green Ballets flared inside menace and ghoulish, garish glee Lonely larks will always sing as far as the eye can see But Doubt in its dark sings beyond what is you or me I am in love with her; she is life and something new And I cringe to speak the truth; oh clandestine mind! Yes, it was I who had invited Doubt to the vibrant ball And it was there, without notice, she fell in my arms In an unforgiving, comatose faint—a revolutionary state Her face to the door, bleeding black and nothing more The last moment I stared into her bleak, pale features Doubt's masquerade I had mastered had at last begun! The crowd swelling all around me, all in dark costume Oh, God knew it was only a guiltless, simple gathering But here they remained—the DEMONS ever smothering The faces were cruel and their camouflage unforgiving Doubt had now left me writhing, splitting, crying—LIVING As crowds danced around my uncovered, sniveling face The spineless love of my life gone now without a trace There no drink to drown away the ever-placed sorrow There no high hopes of inevitable, hopeful tomorrow There is only today—and today I cruelly, drolly LOVE
Through pain, Through sorrow, Through a lonely nights tears. No warmth, No love, Only cold lifeless fear. The locking Of a door, Sends your heart on a deep plummet. In the darkness, In the room, Your anger summits. Somewhere not far, She plays a computer game, Ignoring your screams of her name. For in this horror, In this nightmear, You know it will always be the same. She never hears anything.
50 shades of therapy 50 shades of restraining orders 50 shades of rejection 50 shades of addiction 50 shades of suicide 50 shades of rainy days 50 shades of cloudy ways 50 shades of jazz and blues 50 shades of painful memories 50 shades of wartime wounds 50 shades of political doom 50 shades of curtains and drapes 50 shades of a lovers disgrace 50 shades of cereal box tops 50 shades of graveyard graves 50 shades of wistful thoughts 50 shades of pure silk white 50 shades of legal fights 50 shades of everyday light 50 shades of tasteful delights 50 shades of pure sheer fright 50 shades of milking cow 50 shades of milking an idea 50 shades of comical prose 50 shades of sunglasses X 2 Cause I am tired 50 shades of age
A fragile mind breaks Wake upon the rock laden shores A muffled heart begs to echo Whispers lost among a velvet chamber Dusk comes premature time and again Dropping the curtain on an optimistic sunrise If you never witness dawn There is no tomorrow Always the dreamer aches Never awake to make real what he desires The restless corpse walks blind Dead ends seem fitting for one of the kind Lost in the labyrinth of strangling vines Love is the motive and the weapon Taking root in throats dry from weeping Sprouts of amnesia in place of smiles A garden called heartbreak holds onlookers captive The comfort takes hold, sets in the bones weary of searching A plea for rest lands on deaf ears The hollow boy tires of himself The last request he will ever make "End me" Lost and tired He wishes to be weak no more
When your with people you think you can trust and you get a bit to drunk and you thought you could trust him after all your mom loved him and you go to bed just afer 2 and mom went to bed just after 1 and he came in room just after 4 so you ask him for a pill... He gets you the pill and you take it for your head still drunk still drunk and then you lay back down still drunk and then his hand snakes out still drunk and then his lips meet yours still drunk smell the beer still drunk and his hand slides under your gown still drunk and you just cant say no too drunk too drunk and his touches, soft but rough not drunk not drunk and he plays with your untuoched parts not drunk not drunk and you try to turn but you cant not drunk not drunk and you finnaly win and turn not drunk not drunk and he silently walks away not drunk not drunk and whispers to the dark room are you drunk are you drunk are you drunk and you wish you could say that you were so drunk so drunk so you can turn, fall asleep, and forget not drunk not drunk and you know in deep and dark thoughts... your not drunk your not drunk your not drunk
Who you know was claimed By the guillotine of clouds When the neck touched dirt
Thank you for a good lesson, For the times when you left me alone, For all my sleepless nights in your house, For the love that wasn't true, For the smiles that never warmed me up, For the looks that never made me stay, For the realizing that there was nothing To fight for. Thank you for your promises that You have broken in time, For the words that were ugly, For the comments that did hurt, For your screamings, putting me To work for never saying me This simple "Thank you!" Because I thank you.
You are not the man, you want to be You said you were my Father, till, I discovered different Enduring, daily beatings Bashing the living day lights, out of a woman and a child Repetitive, bad ass attitude, nasty streak Mean and aggressive! Fists, knives and guns, your weapons of chose Out of control, abusive, devious Relentless, over – bearing! Breaking me, piece by piece Confusing a child, with unhealthy love Hand fed your bullshit, brain washed Using me as your human, punching bag This innocent child's blood, staining your callas hands My child's curiosity, asking you one day "Why do you hurt me and Mum?" Your retort: "I am not your blood!" I didn't understand, back then Now, as an adult, I clearly understand! Believe me, when I say There was never a day that went past That you didn't remind me of that! My freedom, restrained My sanity, tested Caged, like a wild bird in captivity Behind bars, looking out Here, I am today, free from your grip Nursing, this inner child's, bleeding love
I stuff my pockets with misery and contempt, overloading their contents, pleasure exempt. I fill the dark spaces with sadness and dread, overexerting the capacity, till all hope is dead. I shove bits of hatred, and pieces of despair, into tightly bound pockets, I callously wear. I force fists of fury, into perfect folds of misery, massive bulging indignation, that only I can see. I line its gruesome insides, with terror and pain, thrusting handfuls of vanity with bouts of shame. I lunge towards its innards, like a thrusting rocket; these dark grisly holes, inside miserable pockets.
"this poem is not about what is written,but what is not written. . . " Greyer looms matter's of the.....? Beauty fades not there then.....? Flowers live and die fact of ....? A four letter word of endearment....? A saddened stare like where the Red Fern.....? Do not withdraw from the sunlight given by the almighty...? The feeling active of letters four much like adores.....? Speaking in second person sounds like and is...? In the prelude I allude to this message to point to the truth You cannot see air but it is there so beware You do not have to walk into the total darkness to see how dark the blackness is Like gravity that holds you there how much more our Creator cares Setting on shelf scoffing at the pain you do not see The love that is and can be He just wants to set you free ignorance of the law does not excuse How deep the pain how dark is that blue without Hope without God waiting to play the odds Without knowledge must be total misery as earthly beauty fades as the tree a dieing thing without fruit the growing sorrow does that suit without hope of new life tomorrow Here today and gone so to borrow Not opening a door can be as bad as slamming it in your face to see where true beauty is you run in place not seeing the grace turn to the light dwelling in the dusk from the womb to dust on your pedestal under your own glass the fire that was given you smother to ash - john edaward beam - for The Unwritten contest - 07/01/2011
Bruises By: IzaDonna Surrounded by darkness Emotions hidden away Bruises disguised with smiles Never would think it That my past still haunts me The scars still completely cover me I hide them so you can't see I'm really not at all okay Chorus The bottles eases the pain The dust numbs the ache Can I ever just forgive? Instead up building up this hate I just want to find peace I want my smile to be real But its hard to do so When I can no longer seem to feel Frightening dreams keep me awake Forever replaying in my mind Life seems to be so much longer This winding road so much harder Can I just get a release Beat these inner demons and be free Or do I have to be forever cursed With the ghosts of the past Chorus I look up at the stars And close my eyes tight Its time for last good-byes Its time to end this tonight I take one last chug And fall to the ground Take one last gasp And then no longer make a sound Chorus I'm finally okay
Shivering in silence Fading in disgrace I can not name this feeling But I can recall this place A kingdom in my nightmares A vision as I wake A broken, crying infant On the throne of my mistakes I stand outside his city On the verge of stepping through The portcullis then closes Because I've denied the truth Quietly I listen For the price that must be paid If I ever wish to enter I must find something to trade My sanity seems willing So I release it into night Again the vision's singing Burning through the light This time I am crying Deep within the walls And in this empty kingdom A child mourns within his walls Shivering in silence Sat upon my throne With sanity now traded I am left to fade alone
My eyes Witness your departure My eyes Are dripping with hopelessness… My eyes start to blur… Melancholy put me under pressure… Is there a cure to my disease? You don't see The shards of hope that once brought us back together Just let me search for safety I'm strong enough to realize that I'm no longer The weakest prey out there… And I'm left in my solitude… Do you hear me whimpering like a distraught puppy left on the train tracks? I'm close to my demise…save me and take me home Nourish me…and be my beloved friend Will this friendship last forever? Hopefully it has no end Will this cheerful moment help us get along with each other? Because of you…I feel the need to run I keep an eye on you – I worry that you'll hurt yourself again Because of you…My freedom is nearly gone I don't wanna be caught off guard again Because of you…EYE can't picture a solution for our vexing dilemma Because of you…eye can't focus on my long-term goal And I'm left in my solitude… Do you sense that I'm giving in to failure? And I'm close to my demise… Only to find myself disappear…I can't endure The hardships that you place upon me… Could you boost up my confidence to overcome My atrocious anxiety? I'm just waiting for some sun To keep me in good hands… To strengthen me with perseverance … I'm just waiting until His son Leads the world outtah Egypt and reveals to us… His radiance…His dazzling Kingdom – Vibrant with glee Your undying sympathy dawns upon us I'm overflowing with indescribable joy You're a candle in the night… We meet eye to eye… What a sight…what a precious sight
You and I. You. Your heart blazed, with a warmth of spirit, soothing, alluring, soaked in truth. Your smile burned, branding me permanently, gentle, tender, enveloping my being. Your love was complete, from the depths of your soul, unsaid, yet fierce, bathed in silent knowing. Your dreams were poetic, fluttering in the afternoon breeze, infused with the distilled essence of rhyme. I. I squandered your generosity of spirit. I vainly discarded your priceless poems. Now I stand, alone, empty, desolate, wasting away, rotting inside, day by day.
velvet tears slip down my cheek. a gentle cry. and the wet drops seep in the corners of my mouth until my lungs are full of my own salty, crystalline tears, bringing buoyancy to boats that sail inside my veins. as a rule, I try not to cry. if a single tear is shed, who is to say that another will not follow? compelling the rest to join until I've immersed myself in the sea I've incepted, and soon all I see are the opalescent peaks of water colliding with my skin.
The Haaotia first came when you were young Crawling into your presence cleverly disguised in the skins of your own blood, they began to tell you their lies They told these lies in soft voices, the voices with the same timbre and tone you'd come to trust, they'd chuckle in the same cheerful way that you'd heard so many times in the light, when you were young Even in the dark, you could see the smiles on their terrible faces, as they told you not to be afraid, the same smiles that before, had lifted your heart and made you laugh, when you were afraid Telling their lies to you behind those familiar smiles; with their soft voices and chuckles, they were such friendly, cheerful demons, so familiar, so familiar even their smell and their touch was familiar How could you be afraid of the Haaotia? But, you were afraid and so you kept quiet, with all the smiles and chuckles and smells and touches in the dark, you were so quiet, because you were very afraid of them finding the others, the younger ones You found a way to leave your body to keep quiet; in your mind you went elsewhere, somewhere far, far away from there, far from the familiar smiles and soft voices and chuckles Far away from the smells and the touches in the dark, as far as you could go, to places with no name in your language, places the Haaotia couldn't know When you'd come back, they were always gone, their smiles and chuckles and smells were gone, but the feel of their touches never left you The feel has never left, it may never leave Because the Haaotia, with their familiar smiles and soft voices and chuckles Touched your soul Author's notes: Haaotia is a Beothuk (Native North American language) word for demon. This was written for someone that I loved very deeply who suffered terribly at the hands of their own loved ones. I dedicate it to them and anyone else who has felt the terrible touch of their own Haaotia
Why me Why me dear god Why the hell me! I did all you asked I've even played the card Of a good girl, the one Everyone wanted me to be. Why can't you save me. I'm hurting immensely And no one care not even slightly. How could you allow me to fall So deep, so far into misery. I've grown to hate myself so much so I'm that demon within the angel That you see. I'm crying out for help And not once did you show me sympathy. Like everyone else you pretend to care My prayers are just words you refuse to here. You watched the tears ran down my cheeks And didn't send an angel to watch over me. I don't want to be part of this world anymore Just set me free…. Sleeping forever is where I are to be. 05/05/09
Don't forget to cross the Ts and dot your Is because if you don't do that they're just lines vertical on a page. Lets us forget about the imperfect words that make us cry the vertical lines, like jail bars hold us back. Stand up and out and roar like a lion! she is mine, I love her, but I am quiet, held back by the vertical lines the black oily jail bars, that keep my hear caged in everytime I cry and people don't listen the guard taps his nightstick upon the vertical bars, the imperfect feelings of pain and sadness feeling like this it bores me feeling like this makes me sick and I feel myself wanting to vomit and shake the nervous feeling of falling into a dark hole, so I sit behind these vertical lines, like cocaine lines, ready to snort up your nose, like cigarettes lined in a perfect and neat row, like empty wine and beer bottles littering around my feet. The vertical lines take me away from reality, close my already blinded eyes with a black blindfold. These jail bars cross my soul, chain my the ankles and wrists, and choking me, holding my head under water, I can't breath!!! Help me! These vertical bars hold me back in life, hold my emotions from coming out, to tell you how I feel for you! I no more want vertical lines, I want to be free. Drive horizontal roads that wined and turn around beautiful mountains too take a deep breathe and share the beauty to watch the horizontal horizon. Too sit on a beach shore and write till the sun goes down and the mermaids sings cheerful tunes that uplift my spirits and break the remaining vertical lines that bind and hold my heart in place. There is nothing beautiful in a straight line, let alone a vertical one. Horizontal, vertical all bad in their own ways, always trapping us, like jail bars or barbwire that streches across the open lands. Love has no lines, no boundaries, so why should I have lines that bind me together holding my head underwater, till a spark lights a powder keg and blows me sky high and I finally set myself free and roam the horizon for ever.
So full of hurt Heart Stomped in the dirt But I'll get up I'll brush off my skirt Paste a smile on my face Get back in the race My fake laugh I'll embrace While so alone in this place I'll fake my sweet grace Tie my hair up in lace Hope no one will care To see past my fake stare Because I can not bare To explain my despair No I don't need your prayer Nor your disapproving glare My sadness will wear Life's just so unfair Breaking dear hearts Like illegal warfare While my insides repair I'll just brush this long hair Fake smile blank stare Should pull me through This broken heart warfare. <3 Kaleelynn
It burns and it stings. It hurts. More than drowning beneath the ice. More than remaining in a kindled flame She hits and I no longer cry. Why mother, why? It burned and it stung. The markings remained, returned, and were relived Looking, loving, and little known loathing were the known ways of living. Never was their pity for the child that cried Never was their relief for the child that tried You were that lovely bird that understood the complications of felicity Nothing looked the same in those dewy browns of yours. My everbeating would cry tears of joy. The others-they were yet to appear. Caring Mother, o' so fair You were that beautiful bird filled with care. The others came and were not alone. Their two suitors sat on the throne. Rampage and rage why did you come? I began to wither and wither slumping along. So very soon I- the child of fines- became a human raceme. The droops of the Lily of the Valley became the slumping of my heart. My lovely bird the enemy had taken you and the person you were is far from near. For that divine nature left its intricate self and you became irretrievable my big bird. All of your fairness died. With that went my pride. Mother, Mother what moved you so? Your intense spirt vanished only to supplement a monster. Mother, Monster and your tar filled lungs. How did I kill that liver that was so, so strong? The lesson of pain was one you came to learn. My darling bird why did you turn? My lovely bird and your big brown eyes I'll tell you once, but never twice. Pain is only a flower for it blooms and dies And a mistake can be killed as quickly as lice. You dear bird hurt me well. Though, haven't you heard? Weakness is a souls greatest strength. You brought me up, then you brought me down. You haved helped, hurt, and hindered my blazing spirit. A hero in my heart-I left you down in your deep black slumber. Escaping those terrible nights To go for the town of delights.
What makes this world go around? What makes Death walk the Earth and God sit on his throne and watch over us? What makes love go around with such favour and strut along side lonesome avenues? What does a widow, a motherless child, a Vietnam veteran and a boy who has had his fare share of heartbreaks, all have in common with each other? They were all promised a beautiful life, free for all to love, free from the pain of betrayal and anger. We are what make the world go around, I am the poet who sits and looks at love walk down the street, and watch the blind eyes stare deep in my soul. I am the poet, that feels the pain of a heart torn in two. He his the poet who writes of smiles, to forget the frowns and tears. She is the poetress that writes of her success, in order to forget her past that tortured her soul, now he and she walk together writing poetry sharing their love and smiles with the world. But with smiles, also comes frowns, with hearts full of love, comes hearts full of sorrow, and someone has to stay behind and write of the bad has to write and compose the songs of the sorrowed hearts. We are all given love, but it takes some whole lives to understand the dark mystery that tags along with beautiful love. Someone has to suffer the pain, someone has to sacrifice his or her happiness, so another poet can feel the beauty in happiness and pain. I am willing to sacrifice my time and heart, for my fellow poet to feel the smiles grow on their faces and feel love uplift their heart, while the black cancer tears apart mine. I will go on, with what is left of my heart and smile, and go into my room of creativity and compose the songs of sorrowed hearts for future poets, like that came before me.
-"Where's Daddy?"- "Mommy, where's daddy?", her young son asked one day. She replied, "He's gone, he has traveled far away. He is protecting our home from unknown dangers, and fending off all of those evil strangers." "Is he killing them?" whispered her timid son. "Unfortunately so dear, but not for any fun". "Will he be home for mothers day dinner tomorrow night?" She hesitated, "He might be, he just might.............." She surrendered to silence and succumbed to tears, as she suddenly was endowed with her inner most fears. She dropped, screaming, to the wooden floor. As a uniformed silhouette, approached their front door... -Anonymously youRs-
The end of the world — I will see you all in hell. May I rest in peace.
I set my eyes to this future of thine, And I've always seen that one day it would be mine, But all that it is running into a wall cryin', And all for lust, lying in suicide, dyin', And right here, right now, I have it all, You'd never roll the dice, and see it cast me to fall, But it was a destined run, I've always needed to crawl, Into my own dark lair, With all this smoke that just stares, And the pipes that don't break, Injecting all I can take, Infecting myself with hate, And never really seeing everything I had at stake. I'm laying there lifeless looking into your eyes, And telling you I trust you, even through all the lies. I've been alone for so long, but now I have you. I'll share with you my deepest secrets, and never adieu. You look so friendly, but I'm filled with fear, I think I'm paralyzed, dying, because I'm stuck right here. Would you please check my pulse, and make sure I'm alright, Because I love you, and I can't die here tonight. And then I realize you were just smoke, and I shed a tear, Because you were my only friend, but you were never really here. And now I know I'm going mad, and having delusions, "I can't breathe," "I'm going to die," are my only conclusions. And right here, right now, I have it all, You'd never roll the dice, and see it cast me to fall, But it was a destined run, I've always needed to crawl, Into my own dark lair, With all this smoke that just stares, And the pipes that don't break, Injecting all I can take, Infecting myself with hate, And never really seeing everything I had at stake. But for Heavens' sake, Please, don't give up on me, People cared at one point, but that's come and passed, And since then, I've gone farther and farther into this crash, But right now, I only care, because I've run out, Tomorrow, I'll have more, and nothing to b***h about. But I'm not dead yet, and I wish I could stop, But I want to keep going 'til I die or get caught, There's nothing to live for, so why should I care, That everything's dark, and I can't feel the air, And there's wetness running down my chest, And I'm convulsing, reaching for somebody's vest. That's all I remember of that dark lair, But then, I awoke in the government's care, Still, no family, friends, or dealers who care. Still couldn't learn my lesson there.
Talk behind my back, Discuss my weakness, Prove them all that I'm the worst but I'm still standing. I don't mind what You say to them. Tell them the secrets that I shared with you being trapped Within naivety. But I'm so glad I did. I destroyed my weakness, Transformed myself for now, Became indifferent. Keep being dishonest When you talk to them, Represent your lies that You prepared. I know how good it feels. You know I'm not denying Because you are ugly too.
I did not find myself to be so important So I ask my friends do I seem distant? When I ask the question I had received an answer, Yes So I think that made it clear that I had been not the best I am a friend of a friend that talks so many things That friend talks to much it is insane and insanity it brings I do care, about my friends they are all good people They tend to stand on their high steeple Today I find myself not so aware Disbanding my fear of regret and care Walking many different paths I see that I have found holes It is the path that people choose to use to fuel their rage with coals Coals are partially burnt wood or fossils a piece of fuel It is the source of burden and fire a rage of emotions that stands cruel It can be warm and caring, but it also can be baring I just start to feel so low, below the ground I keep on staring I reach for my friends so many times I feel so ignorant at times Just once I feel I should not rely on them when feeling I can not find I dig my hole deeper and I can not climb out For some reason I am just full of doubt I care about so many things and what I have is confusion One person should be all I should think about to get out of that illusion My battle in my heart and mind is not at all so pleasant I feel so alone in an island that is shaped like a crescent My emotions is like coinciding with a diameter of the semicircle Not a full emotion that is complete like a circle My feelings is circular full of incomplete thoughts, so much deeper I feel it will wake up my evil half a evil soul that is a sleeper What question should I ask myself? to believe that I am not so alone As I feel like a person who is deteriorating to the bone I ask my friends the same question once again I figure I should do it, to know what kind of feelings I should end So many thoughts that come out of my feeling I feel like my friends take, an emotional trauma of stealing They ask me questions and I answer theirs But when I need mine answered I feel burning inside like a flare Are they even friends when they do not take me serious in anyway Just put me in my hole cause I feel nothing in their will be getting in my way It's just so simple to answer someones problem I answer friends with beauty of a rose, but when they answer mine I get the stem I know the stem is very important in life, with out it how can a rose be a rose With a hole to put the root and stem in how can it grow The words we speak I guess is like all natural things we reap and sow
The impending night has fallen upon us It woke with much persistence Our hearts fled from its rage like a doe from a rifle But the blast had already been made. . . People fall like rain The clouds are crestfallen with grief And the darkness has no mercy Rain soaks...leaves an impact The falls are devastating... She was so strong, like a diamond she shined Only to burn away and be one with the grime I never saw her go But the angry darkness of her essence—strangely glows... He choked on his words, his memory Like a child swallowing a pill It is sticking in our throats Against our will And the dose ever grows. . . Who will stop the night? You wicked thing how achingly stormy you have become! Rich in your light as it smothers you whole Leaving the rest to the droll sound of its toll She burned As they watched in angry happiness The smoke of her spirits filling our hearts No expressions...heavy depressions He was left to melt and rebuild His wick ignites—burns are second nature Though images are hard to swallow She still talks to our souls Her story still to be told Like diamonds never found A flame of hope hovers We remain instilled in the rot The darkness smothers Its heavy slumber always waking
grey sky day no chance of light teardrop rain beats down thoughts now finally taking flight smile that hides the frown. melancholy dreary day surrenders soon to dark desperation here to stay leaves such a painful mark.
Sad lonely, in despair, Credit you are due. I'm alone without you here, I am so sad and blue I cried and cried, But you didn't care, I wont soon forget, How you made me feel, And what you put me through, It wasn't even fair. And I'll never love again; I owe it all to you.
You keep leaving And coming back Like I'm your vacation spot. Although I say I'm through I'm through I'm still missing you. No friends or companions You're all I got But I'm treated Like the dust under the key That's under the doormat. 05/06/08
The wind, calm as light penetrates the morning canvas Not a sound, except for my defeated heart That reverberates through my soul The smell of the crimson red sky; cool sweet lilac and myrrh Warns me of a tempestuous day A heartfelt tiding of mediocrity The greeting of your most irreverent facade Has driven from me, any appreciation of a summer dawn I have not the strength to summon a thought Or a thought Or a thought Or a thought Maybe a kind word Will lift this veil And allow me the strength For a thought
I can no longer see past the trees They stand solemn in line. Their dark outline Weeping from the sky. All I can hear Is the faint heartbeat Coming from my chest. It's getting faster As my breaths Become shallower. It would appear That I am choking On the fog. My lungs can no longer take This dense air That's creeping in my mouth And filling me. I start to run Into the forest How far can I go in? Before I'm halfway out The fog chases Until it has consumed Me.
Crying out loud, Crying for no reason, A girl without future, A girl stuck in the prison. Where dreams are coming out? When they take her dreams away? A girl without future, A girl without desire. How many things are missed? How many words are left unsaid? A girl is crying out, A girl stuck in the world. Where is an explanation? Where is a hero? Is it fine now when Girls within are still believers But outside they hate Every detail and season Hidden in the eyes of men?
Last April, for me, had dull and dark days God will bless, had said, the Hopeful May Than came June with a shower of love Happy was July as, I found my beloved August we planned for bells to ring December the fifth, for the vows to sing From shop to shop went sweet September Flowers and star to adorn the December Waiting and longing for my lover Please skip the year, Oh Dear October The naughty November, bought me a surprise And you left me alone, breaking all ties With broken dreams came dear December Memories of past hitting like a hammer New hope I will get, to me, said January Leave the past behind and do not worry February came and then came March Your love in my heart, still like fire, a parch Looking at my life with a blank gaze, April, for me, has dull and dark days. Tuesday April 15, 2008
Cut my veins, End this pain, God knows I won't be missed, Whoever that is. I live by Shang-ri-la, Juggalos and Lettes for all. I'm down with the clown, Till I'm dead in the ground. Nothing can hold me back, I can't be tamed. You don't understand me, So just let me be. I wanna be free, So why can't you just see? See that I wanna be gone, I'm crying till I'm soaked to the bone. I'm crying inside, Noone can see it. I'm bleeding on the outside, And crying in the inside. Cut my veins, End this pain. Always~N~Forever, Briana Lynn Minard Age:15 03-31-11
To the back or to the front On my forehead or under my chin To my temple Out of my mouth, Or in.
Kill me now, no one needs to know how. They don't care anyways, let me waste away. I'm so alone, I'm always on my own. I was happy one minute, now I want to cut. I'm trying to stay strong, but it's been too long. I'm giving up, since no one is helping me up. I'm falling down, and there's no one around to keep me sane, so all I want is pain.
im so sad i dont know what to do why is life so sad n dark i hide in the dark i like being in the dark the pain of losing people the pain of losing my family to my step mom she just took every thing away i like darkness i feel pain i hide my feeling i feel like im on the edge of being gone 4 ever i dont talk to any one i rather stay in my room in the dark i want to cry every day i want to disaper the darkness is taking over me its taking me to a deep dark place i dont want to be
On the empty floors I am watching the nights roll flowing in other nights. Nature's mirror has come to give birth and to destroy the typhoons are embracing me, an unstoppable power in my two arms. Between logic and the holy the notions are lost I am turning blue inside the sky's blue. And I return again and again to repay the same sin upon which my own blood has dropped and with blood I try for centuries to pay. My form is drawing circles -what is your name?-my name is Human. Can this mortality embrace the darkness? Can my bare hands hold within them the air? I was born for the renaissance of colours, I threw green and yellow at the edge of the horizon, I painted red the lost dreams of history and I placed white on all the spots of the sky. I was born to destroy and I dig pits everyday, I bury inside them living truths and I cover them with shovel and water. Be quiet! The seasons are sleeping... With small knives I carve the corners of the world until I find the bone to puncture it, deeper and deeper. Our fears are breaks of the Universe they are transfered from planet to planet, they change orbit, while cleaving the clouds. ''Learn how to walk, learn how to talk, learn how to kiss, learn how to leave, learn how to love, learn how to kill"... Hollow bodies at the mountains top are burning with the flames of redemption. They carry the same rock everyday, everynight until they reach the end, the end that doesn't exist. They fill the glasses with water, the glasses that dont have bottom. Don't ask me to change the world, you only gave me soil but you have forgotten the water and with hands dry and dirty I collect time to repay you for your graces, because there is light and there is darkness, because I stop in front of red and I walk in front of green. But you don't know, you don't, that I find strenght everyday, since I opened my eyes, I am preparing in silence and I am clentcing my teeth because the time will come, when I will throw a big punch at this carton world, I will tear it up in half and I will see what lies behind, behind the lie. Shaken off from my dirty morality I will touch the sacred redemption I will wake up from the dream, I will embrace at last, for the first time, reality.
On the edge, Leaning towards the deep end; The dark waters with their mystery... Seem to beckon you and your misery, Talking like its cold embrace will warm you, It's asking for your life and to guide you. Leaning forward into the abyss The wind whipping past your ears seem to hiss As you fly and you soar For time that makes you wish you had more Though the feeling cannot last, If you keep thinking of what people said in the past. The water boils from your unleashed rage Only stirring the whirlwind of pain and hate You claw at the blackness surrounding you. This tormenting fury you cannot bear You wish to scream in your anger, Yet your voice seems to just whimper Drowned without air... Then, you are over come with despair. The lack of life in this moment makes you weep, All you want to do is sleep, But then you think. What about the ones I will make weep? Maybe it's not all that it seems, Maybe someone is waiting just for me? To wake them from their dreams The nightmare that they cannot break free The one they are waiting in just for me? You want it all to stop You really want to quit But you know there's person waiting for a hero And this hero is you. You must get out. Out of this dream To wake the one beckoning for you. Say sorry to the black water Flail in its grip, Try to escape its unholy embrace. Your breath escapes from your lungs And your mind screams in pain. But then the darkness evaporates. Leaving you to start anew Like a phoenix rising from its own dark ashes. Look at the world that you thought you knew. Awake and breathe. Arise from your room With A new view on life. Look in the mirror, See what you want to be, The glass then shatters Setting you free. Change the world, And all that it has hurt. Do not let the one waiting for you down Find him or her and turn their life around. You won't let this world drown You won't let others follow their spiral to the ground Because you've already been to the bottom You know what it's like to hit the ground, Then lose all you have had... But now it's your chance to turn it all around Carry them up that spiral with not a look down! Help them rebuild their world again And stay with them until the end Now no one will fear the spiral again Because they will always have a friend.
Lives wasted with foolish dreams, of love and kindness. I hold no grudge, nor Envy. But I say, Pish Posh! Love in Life is gone and nothing True comes of it. For Love is gone... for Love is gone... I do not mope, so do not judge me. Do not portray me, as an envious man, who cannot fall... in Love. For I've travelled through Hell and back. And I've seen, what I've seen. Horrific things, and Devilish, and damnation temptation, that swallows my soul in Godly ridden fire balls. Once you've seen, what I have seen you'd feel the same as me. See me now walk, through the shadows of wanting relationships and kisses on park benches, that mock me... and I slowly die. I want that! I WANT THAT!!! I shall shout from the rooftops, of the evening skylines of purplish and orange skies, Oh, how I desperately want that... But I hold no grudge, nor am I Envious of my fellow brother in Love. I go to him, hold his hand and congradulate him, on his beautiful Maiden. ... Then I shall turn my cheek, and walk the path of lone riders. Starving to be Loved...
The encumbrance of life Copious and never-ending A leaching gangrenous wound In need of dismemberment From his torpid soul The medicinal elixirs have raped the mind And replaced it with a dense syrup That makes cognition, onerous He cares for nothing Feels nothing—is nothing A means to an end Has him captivated Fixated on the task Relief is at hand But he lacks the strength and courage
They see flying elephants in the air; some sighting of the living dead are reported too. The world has became a slave; leaves with no weaponry army, or conscience, have tied even the strongest of men. The world now is akin to the dark ages, where the name "death" was crawling on the lips of almost everyone. Spirituality has become hard to understand, just like grasping rocket science; walking on the streets in nakedness has become a usual thing...... Man's future is hanging on the balance. Thanks to people who legalized marijuana throughout the world.
[echoes from a dark past] When I was born Nobody came into the world. When I looked into the mirror Nobody looked back. When I was ten Nobody played with me. When I left at fifteen Nobody said goobye. When I came home hurt Nobody said hello. When I looked in the mirror Nobody looked back. When I was 23 I saw a man and a woman. Who was she, so strong to make Nobody stay away. When I was 24 I saw a child and Nobody stayed away. When I was 29 another child and Nobody stayed away. When I was 40 1 child was wed and Nobody stayed away. When I was 50 I saw just the two and Nobody far away. When I was 56 I saw the woman alone and Nobody by her side. Now I look in the mirror and Nobody is there. When I am gone Nobody will say I ever existed, save the woman. Nobody was there at the beginning. Nobody was there at the end. Nobody is her companion now. Just as if I had never been. Stupidity was the game I played, sadness my reward. Nobody won all the games in my life. Nobody has won again. © Dave Timperley 2011
Everything around this feels so wrong, Feeling as if this does not belong, Feeling trapped inside a world that isn't for this, Retreating within to the recesses of this mind full of bliss, This feels like screaming but to let it out would not do, The people would hear this and wonder to what is wrong with you, Then to shield this so no one would understand, Wandering the depths of mind of this barren empty land, Alone and confined in and of this cold crystal heart, How can this ever hope to help others when this is crumbling apart?
Without you, worn down, weary, staggering into tomorrow, dissolving my todays, grim, dreary, I crawl, slipping out of my skin, flinging laughter, joy, contentment, into the gaping abyss of life's dustbin. Without you
Four white walls and a bird, trapped in steel cage not free, not happy. The walls they laugh, closing in, holding the bird hostage. No windows, no doors, just four white walls closing in, on the caged bird. I hear crying, tears of sorrow, so sweet, yet so sour. It is the bird trapped in the rusted cage- No, just my soul crying out, for a warm embrace. 11-10-2013
So sad are days in this bitterness and bitterest cold outside Gone are friends and leaves and grass. The walls are mocking me, laughing I can feel me hating me with a passion This is one of those dark days I see them at play The demons who play hell Casting doubts and leaving agony in the wake of sunrise Until this day and I rest again We will bear it like shackles dragging loud chains I will listen to music that worsens it. I'll drink to the pain, as Im numbing it Jack Daniels is no friend of mine just a confidant in the worst of times There is no solace in this bottle Only places to run and hide. So today I hid from shadows and the sunshine not letting one loom behind me or the other sting my eyes Contemplating and making sad compilations mixing and blurring memories blend them into one absolute emotion I'll wallow in this today Looking at a distorted reflection it stares back from a whiskey meniscus Johhny Cash murmured in the background smoke wafts through, plumes like lengthy ghost fingers The sun will set on a day like this It will creep back beyond the waterline lighting clouds in surrealistic colors Closure, comfort, and serenity seep in This was one of those dark days I grabbed it by the neck and conquered it Jack, Johnny, and Me...
The man looked at the other with a gripping smile. The other man simply stared A year long since they've seen their file. Only recognized through what they cared A time of respect was not called for They simply said hello They could've talked about when they were poor But the day was cold and the feeling was hollow They reached their riches They succeeded throughout dark times They ended up spoiling b****** For a simple thing can be turned to simple rhymes. A day has gone by since their recognition The man lost his enthusiasm for reaching the other And with that, they both lost friendly position But the other man was not a friend or brother, He became what the happy man dreaded. An unforgiving enemy With no respect being credited. A sad life it was, but it was not yours nor mine, it was simply a elusive scene.
OLD FRIEND Familiar friend, your simmering glow I welcome you whole and heartedly know When day is night and ebb is flow I trust in you, our love will grow When dawn is dusk, then sun is moon Your welcome face, the dullness soon Neither red nor blue, no rays of light Just shades of gray my dreams tonight No princess to rescue No tales of lore Just spiraling down And spiraling more No faces or places or loves I've known I dream of nothing and nothing alone Together we cry, forever we moan The pain my companion, together we've grown Morning looms my bliss shall end I'll miss my companion; I'll miss my old friend
Sinking in deeper, No way to escape, The dark and scary Reaper, Fore told in the Book of Life. Is this my end? Will I ever see the light of day again? No. My wounds, I must mend. I must find my strength. Stand my ground, Face my fears. Only then will my voice be found I must survive. Break the suffocating chains, Run from the darkness. Power will fill my veins. I will Fight! Fight the painful names, The horrid memories, The demented games And escape My Black Abyss.
What is there too say now? What is there to do this evening? Nothing for I am without you, I remember you, when my eyes first looked upon your brow and beautious eyes, Your luxurious features and a heart of gold and platnium, I am lost in a garden of cluelessness, and lost and forgotten. My heart aches and shivers in the lone days of the mid December evenings, You are gone and lost without a single trace, But soon I had lost you for good and could never find you again, I buried you in the gardens of the dead, and the tears from my broken heart showered your grave. Oh now I wish you were here, To listen to my heart, For it is out of tune and the orchestra is playing a slow melody, and the chimes ring me to the dinner table, To eat alone the lonely supper for the mourning of my woman. So I eat alone tonight, The house is quiet and empty, The butlers and maids have gone home, Nothing but lone, empty halls, Once filled with love and music, keep me company. The slow music plays in my study, I sit in my red chair, I cry and cry again, I read a book of poetry and think of you, Not a life worth living without you.
Goodbye, farewell There is a time for everything But time for me has drawn its wings back away Leaving me to the sad hellos of today Do I wish to embellish in the sounds of your pain? Or will I take the back way into town to seek the reigns? Tension like ice crackles at the sound of departure Sometimes leaving it alone is harder I never expressed the selfish growths of my pride I am sickened in darkness, stuck in this mind Where is the heart when one needs the goodbye? Where is the mind when I break down and cry? Goodbye, farewell I never amounted to much Though I was granted everything My wings are folded too tightly with time The meat is tucked beneath and only I feed On the breadth of my own luscious nourishment Will I crush you with indifference? Silently beat you with fervent fury? Will I flood with tears of inward emotion? The sick selfishness one masks as devotion! Heat melts away the ice Replaced by tethered spite Goodbye, farewell! Before the night sweeps you away I never will cherish this today I will let the time dive into the abyss With the greetings and salutations one will never miss I will ride into the fiery skies with no care but my own Landing in turbulent waters in winds that moan There is a reason but it is unknown And that is how it will always be Can't you see this is good for you? This is the only way—I fear for you Abandonment is only an emotion So, goodbye, farewell
People want to commit suicide, people choose to die over livin life. Why has it come to be this way? Why has this life become so meaningless, that we just want to throw it away? We become selfish and think our life is so bad, dont think of others who's lives are worse, But still greatful for what they have. People take for granted the things they've got, clothes, food, smokes and shoes, even a roof or a bed, They dont think of the homeless, the hungry, not even the cold or the hot. They just think they want to be dead, Things happen in our lives that, to us, seem bad. We dont look for help or trust any "friends" All because of the past we've had. Dont be a coward and run away, Stick it out, Live life, I know that there's alot of strife, But stick it through day to day. People want to commit suicide, people choose to die over livin life. Why has it come to be this way?....
Nobody Knows my real name 'Angel' Is what I go by I am freezing cold I don't have money Just, the clothes on my back I am a walking wardrobe I am lonely I smell like crap I am starving hungry I can't find any shelter My clothes are drenched I look like a drowned rat! Violence Upon women Is classed normal Around here! I wonder... If I will survive Another day? Only To wake up And Do this All over, again! "Protect me tonight As,I lay my head to rest" "I love you, dear God" "Goodnight"
.The survivors. Yes, that's what we call ourselves. We've lived through the terrors of life. Gentle hands, soft spoken, safe in his arms. Obey, and listen, and the swirling melody of love plays throughout the scene. And yet, this masquerade is always broken to reveal the truth. Words sharper than daggers explode around our ears. Bruises appear on our skin. We've "fallen", the clumsy females we are. We fell. A sports injury, a car crash, a freak accident. Freak accident of hatred. Much like the lion, quiet and stalking, and then exploding into a flurry of the hunt. Of the hurt. Swift blows, and blood drips from noses, tears stream from eyes in a silver river of desperate please, bruises decorate us in tawnys and majestic purples. Reminders of our "wrong doings". We need to pay for our sins. The only witness are the walls, and the moonbeams that dance about our dizzy heads. On the ground. Steel toes to the back. A crack. Fire. Pain. And then, a cool silence. The rage subsides, and apologies appear. "I'll never do it again" and "I lost control" replay in the back of our heads. Our deja- vu from the previous night. Always the same. Always the pain. The survivors. Thats what we call ourselves. And by the dark dance of the moon against the velvet sky, as stars twinkle like sequins, and fade into the dawn, we pick ourselves up. New excuses. New plates to buy. A new alarm clock. New knives, doors, but no new hearts, stabbed until the hemmoragging hurts like a firestorm. Alone. We are alone. We, the Survivors, have lived not an apocalypse, not a plane crash, but the darkest part of our lives. Therapy can lock it away, but never remove the dark stain of dried blood upon our souls. Lost. We come together, and escape. We start anew, but are never the same. Dark dreams, paranoia haunting our shadows, and the jumps that come with shattered glass of the clink of dishes. Never the same, but stronger. What doesn't kill you is sure to leave a horrible scar, but wounds heal And while scars remain as a reminder of the pain endured, we are, for the better, stronger. We survived. .
Time … to open My eyes… Time … to finally realize I am the monster … glazed in guise Time … to take responsibility Of your slow demise Of your haunting, screaming, aching unconditional agony Time … has stopped I am horrible Hyperventilating, breaking… Crying—smiling, faking Time … to see where the snake slithers tonight Smirking in its venom of spite To see myself crawl in its loosened skin And become one with its kin The slits of his eyes frighten me But I welcome his sick visions Who made these sticky decisions? Time … to do something To help you—to break me to pieces I am the slime where you have broken through…so revolting Time … to shake the sand away To relieve the burning eyes from the blindness Time to dip them in the cool water of action Time … To close up again I wimper in the dark like a lost hound.. I am so afraid Lost … but always found
Future held such initial promise But shallow dreams disintegrated Coalescing into shallower reality Despite my youth, pain cripples me to geriatric apathy General interest long gone, death has become the single concern A welcome embrace, a welcome friend Tardiness is expected, as well as encouraged Release me from these eternally shrinking walls Allow the peons to continue their superficial pursuits Never meshing well into the fold, I yearn simply for permanent isolation There is not enough joy to justify the agony that life forever guarantees me Nihilism and anger, desires for maniacal retribution, the only feelings I've ever known Clouded over now by perpetual physical torment, my formerly hollow shell continues to exist without capacity for optimism Yet without hate, there seems nothing left Shall I forever be adrift?
I watched the love of two hearts crushed today, So much pain and sadness there was nothing to say. For so very long the writing was on the wall, For some reason it just was not noticed at all. Oh how the blame seems to be everything and everyone, Not for a moment do they realize what they have done. The sarrow they feel is so hard for them to conceive, Don't want to face the truth and they will never believe. Only themselves to blame and that's going to be awhile, Before either of them will find a reason for them to smile. Broken hearts and thier worlds have been torn apart, Makes me wonder will they know how to make a new start. Nothing good ever comes from so much deceit and lies, To see no trust or faith just makes me want to cry. It's not really their fault so young and without any clue, May be years before they learn how or what they must do. WE can only pray for them that they will find their way, The happines and joy they deserve will be found on that day. I watched the love of two hearts being crushed today, To see so much sadness , there's not much anyone can say. TAC
For the years I have stood hear, It has brought me many tears, Loves bitter bite inside my heart, I love so much it tears me apart The only thing he sees is hate, He can't see this love is great, I sometimes wonder if he sees, That love whispers in the trees I don't know if he hates or loves, As he wants to be above, I no longer see it in his eyes, As he thinks I say nort but lies I wish this did not hert so much, Like a fire to the touch, Sometimes I wish that I would die, So I can't hear him say good bye
The lamp light illuminates My messy bedroom And brings me joy to my heart The lamp light turns off quickly The mellow midnight Has revealed its pure beauty The door opens and welcomes The priceless sunrise And inspires me to write poems The morning greets me again The lovely stars dim I miss the midnight wonders!
You look so innocent. So easily you look into my eyes But the lake of blackness in there You still don't reach. You look through sense. You disappear when it's dark But afterwards you are always back. This lake of blackness lures you. You are the enemy yourself. You're destroying what you are. You come to me like I'm your heaven but I am the darkness that You should give up. You are smiling softly. So pure your eyes are But you don't want a life that easy. With the darkness you're Dreaming to collide.
I wake up in the middle of the night, and reach out to touch you but you are not there And then I remember, The pain returns as quickly as an express train racing out of a tunnel A quite cry escapes my lips a silent tear my eyes I will sleep no more tonight In the morning I stumble out of bed, not thinking I call your name And then I remember I go to the bathroom, no more the clean order of a woman's touch But instead the chaotic disorder of the single man And then I remember At breakfast I automatically set two cups, milk in both, sweetener in one And then I remember For you it's just another day but for me it's as if I am trapped in a time warp I eat my breakfast as if in a trance And I taste nothing, I drink my tea and stare out of the window But I see nothing Except in the deepest corners of my mind You are still hear with me I can see your face and I can smell you perfume Your laughter fills my heart with joy And once again I look into your beautiful brown eyes And I see again the great love and a deep passion in your soul I reach out my hand to touch your cheek My fingers brush your dark silken hair You speak my name Suddenly I feel your soft touch on my arm And suddenly I am back and you are gone, And then I remember I must pull myself together I must try to go on They say time heels, they say the pain will subside They say stop thinking of yourself Think of your child Words are cheap when you don't have to pay And then I remember She looks deep into my eyes, and I see her mother's love I see her mother's passion for life I reach out and touch her dark silken hair; And then she speaks my name, And then I remember Please god let me forget, just for a moment Just for a while Just let my child once again see me smile
As time stops So does my heart. The beat, the sound More important love I lose my breath The puke in my veins. My heart and soul Gone away. I open my eyes Start screaming for help It was all just a dream I hope. Look down and Laying there in my bed I'm as still as a rock Cold and dead.
Between the trees in the dark forest, Called a voice filled with fear, Between the trees in the dark forest, Everything was dark, and nothing was clear, Between the trees in the dark forest, Flowers cried immortal tears, Between the trees in the dark forest, Frightened whispers, that's all you can hear, Between the trees in the dark forest, Torment is all you see, Between the trees in the dark forest, You can still find some mercy....
My eyes Refuse to see tragedy My eyes Marinate in dread…unable to embrace ecstasy And I'm left in my solitude… My eye's sagging…from endless mourning And I'm close to my demise… Only to find myself disappear… When will peace draw near? You don't see What damage you've done Just let me be Leave me alone…hand me a gun I yearn for unspoiled glory To make me feel perfect once more I yearn for flawless serenity To make me feel no regret…don't ignore My calls…don't hang up on me You don't see What damage you've done Just hear my plea Listen to my excruciating cries… Listen to the truth, not the malicious lies Our journey has just begun And I'm left in my solitude… Do you hear me weeping? And I'm close to my demise… Only to find myself disappear… When will peace draw near? Eye can't handle the stress Let me release my horrendous distress Eye can see you making that same mistake At least MY life isn't at stake And I'm left in my solitude… My eye's weeping…do You feel my lament And I'm close to my demise… Only to find myself disappear…Stepped on like cement I'm aching with discontent… I abhor this torment When will peace scrub off my fear? I can't believe my eyes Your guiltiness flows into me… I can't believe I fell for your lies Your heartless action rape my mind…you don't see What my EYES see… You'll never see How much pressure you put me under Unchain me from this chamber And watch me flee… When will you be set free?
You didn't listen to my heart When it was whispering to you. When it was screaming out, You were indifferent and cold Just like you never cared, Just like you couldn't love. A special drama Sparkling day and night, Now we are gon' drowning Because my heart is dead.
Don thoust not know Deidre's eode Don thoust not know Deidre's eode I cunnan sense her embrace that felans gelic Tragedy A Heart to hath, slipped beneoðan waw The dark pulse nou beckons us closer How many daegs will this passion bledan way We will beon the ans left to blame Bewarian we hath be-came their prey They say thou hast ben addicted to thy pain A life-leas cold barren soul left to die in the rain A whisper to close to the edge A ceallian fram the dark Bringan ut a saving sparke An exodus fram her pain Her life spent braeð in shame A Shadow ceallian brecans the silence Eom I the an to blame Don thoust not know Deidre's eode Don thoust not know Deirdre naefre said wrong Don thoust not know Deidre's eode "My decadence wesan just for thee Though thou never hast cared of what I hath been through Enter the world hwaer empathy is clandestine A world created by thee, just for me Hwaet is lecgan in my heart Is why thou wants to through the stan" I call thy name towards nightfall's reign But they take thou so feorr way A dark engel so devin Cursed by Eden's Heart I will avenge every tear An exodus fram her pain Her life spent braeð in shame A Shadow ceallian brecans the silence Eom I the an to blame Don thoust not know Deidre's eode Don thoust not know Deirdre naefre said wrong Don thoust not know Deidre's eode Don thoust not know Deidre's eode Don thoust not know Deidre's eode
Father, Do not let me be the demon I have created me to be. I am the product of myself and my negativity. I trust You. I love You. I thank You. In Your name, We pray, Amen.
Sadness, anger Feelings that I hate But now I see it's late I see there's no way back Because strength is what I lack My soul…it screams, it aches It fights and it breaks It breaks into millions of pieces If I could I would have fixed this I sit under the dark sky Only one word I whisper "Why?" The voice of nature echoes it… I feel the darkness The silence Rise among my eyes And suddenly I realize I'm in a pit of lies
Within Me Flowing through the rivulets of my everyday thoughts, memories of you surface, gasping for air, breathing in, permeating, absorbed by the pores of my ageing skin. Famished, greedily gulping mouthfuls of fractured life, awash in distant yesteryear, when your feathery kisses, banished the vacuum, dispelling my anguish and strife. You are eternally carved, and embroidered into my soul, I wash ashore, smashing against the boulders of the now, seeking solace, begging for absolution with my empty bowl. The book of fate is sealed shut, the tea-leaves have been read, nothing remains within me, the burden of smiling has been shed. Now I am stranded, between dreams and the empty years ahead, searching for forgiveness, in the miles I have yet to wearily tread.
You have to go Just go So I can let go I've hugged you hard Despite your guard I've parked my sorrows But wiped your tears I've fallen right down to the ground Yet offered to always hold your hand For you I always did stand You kept me near But stayed far and clear You brought me confusion I held onto our illusion You let me down But your faith was my crown Now it's too late Years of hard work washed by lies See the quirk of fate I miss you, sure I do But you miss me more I just can't be there for you Anymore Can't we meet half way? No damn it We can't You couldn't even go a step with me Now I choose to walk away I will leave you I have no choice I will forget you Because I have to I will forgive you To start brand new You have to go Just go So I can let go
Their grip is loose on their hold of me Allowing myself to fall Plummet into the void Blackness stalks Emptiness intrudes Help is galaxies away Dimensions away Nothing can save myself .... Above, I can hear their bellows of glee For they have let go of me I am alone On my own Woe to those who were let go too For they have seen what I have A seeing that can never undo Fall with me You are not alone, my friends We were let go And now... We shall fall.
You may not ever see but Forever is just a word. Nothing is real. Why do you keep trying to hold on? Forever never was and never Will be yours, Whatever you are said, It is a pretty lie. Though you don't listen to, and Don't catch the sense, Soon your world will crash and You'll forget yourself. Forever is just a word, Confusion put in mind, Forever is unreal. Forever is a lie. by Olga Kushnirenko
How long must I cry inside How many times must I die in this life How often will I fall short How many dreams must I abort How many empty nights must I endure How many second guesses before I am sure How long will this nothingness last About as long as this emptiness has How much longer must I be alone How much longer can I hold my own On what day will I feel alright On what day will I have my white knight In which hour will I feel content At which time will I stop my descent When can I expect a blessed event How much longer can this go on How much more can this sorrow encroach upon
Ah, here you have come again, Again you sit in this chair, How familiar this room so is, So solitaire in your life, ha, how fair it is, How you engulf those emotions in bitter fire, Drown your frown in a realization of emptiness, How you realize the loneliness and abandonment of your mind, Your hope and wish to fill the empty, lonely void, Perhaps one day it shall all change, But in the now you suffer, You wonder your discoveries, How enlightening were they really? Hanging your head so low, As if seeming to pray in the eyes of others, In amidst reality you hide the corners of your saddened mouth, Your hands caressing the wounded mask, To lose yourself in words, You search for comfort, A faded hand upon your shoulder, But your shoulders carry only the burdens of others, To have your shoulders broken, No others to offer theirs up, You watch the river wash you away, As you drown and ascend to your new home up above.
For a moment, I believed I even allowed myself to breathe. . . To smile upon you in all that was said and done For a moment, you were there And a simple thought made me beam I was there looking you in the eye it seemed For a moment, doubt swept under my feet Threatening to bring me to the ground But your words pulled me up by the string For a heavy moment, I realized Just how far you are from me Too far to be close—to far to allow that smile And for another sad, long moment, I sit here in awe-struck despair Wondering why the smile was ever there
So many things that go around, Yet in this crowd there is no sound, The world seams dead and void inside, And I can't seem to run and hide. I hear her screaming out for help, She gives a final wounded yelp, She hits the floor and eyes turn black, Now she knows she can't turn back. Those left behind hide up and die, No one ever wants to cry, The tears of blood cause too much pain, Our poisoned hearts are not the same. As your body dissolves to ash, The whole world changes in a flash, No more happiness for us to share, No more mother to love and care.
And so do I fall, and so do I fail, Falling so deeply into this destructive void, Nothing but ash and specs of dust that were once my brittle bones and scarred flesh. To not know what is ahead, How maddening! How so distraught have I seemingly become, Forgotten myself as time has smoothed over me. Tricky, sly fiend indeed; master and slave a like to us all. Do I dare move forward into the uncertainty that is humanity and of such society? So gut wrenching, thoughts filled of bile at what is. As we all are from and are the same, yet tear limb by limb the essence of ourselves by one another in an endless state of bigotry and violence; so brightly are we bathed in evil. So easy is it to see. Miracles; perhaps shall they see fit to carry me away from the void that is, and from such temptation, as to live the rest of days in blissful, stagnant dreams.
She lies in a pile of bloody red roses She left a note to her folks saying " I cant go on im sorry" It didnt say why But still we cry We are all very sad some of us are mad none of us are glad She'll b greatly missed To me she was like a sis But when will the rumors stop Noone knows the truth not even the cops My pain is great I wish we hadnt been late But when we got there there she lay on her already made bed of Bloody red roses
The old shepherd standing there seeing better days . Growing old and feeble , his eyesight now a haze . The cold floor that he laid upon , did more harm than good . They gave him one more pat , they'd kept him if they could . The little girl excited , this , what she'd waited for . The puppy she'd been waiting on , just beyond those doors . Puppies of all sizes , shapes and colors too . Short hair , long hair she'd have to sort them thru . Waiting at the last door , he was next to go . This would be his last chance although he didn't know . Hearing the little girl , reminded of his home . Where fields went on forever , plenty of room to run and roam . No longer familiar , the place he like the best . The sun filled porch or shaded trees where he always laid to rest . The drive they walked down everyday, to go and check the mail . The good-boy pats , on his head , that made him wag his tail . We'll never no if he got picked, chances , he did not . He stayed there his remaining days unloved , left and forgot.
How I hate the way I feel today, I just want everything to go away. Don't know if I am angry or sad , All I know is that it feels real bad. Everything is so mixed up inside , Confused by it all I just want to cry. Closing my eyes trying to get some rest, Doesn' help much getting only moments at best. Hoping for nightfall is what I want now, Praying tomorrow will be better some how. How I hate these days when I am down , Wishing nobody would ever come around. Asking myself why I am in this mood, What will it take to change my attitude. Surely there is something to make me smile, I wonder if there is because it's been awhile. Reading the book to maybe see my way through, It doesn't help either I am still feeling blue. Listening to others and what they have to say, Changes nothing at all I still feel this way. Why are there days I feel so down and out , Makes me want to just scream and shout. Wait for the morning sunrise is what I'll do, Possibly then I will be able to talk to you. Oh how I do not like the way I feel today, It's just the worst ever feeling this way. TAC
Jock. Now Jock he was a friend of mine In those good old army days When teenage boys were herded in And made to change their ways He told me one fine summer's day With a big blue sky above "I'm glad that I'm a soldier boy This army life I love". They shipped him off to good old Nam Placed a rifle in his hands And said "now you're a soldier boy I hope you'll understand We're fighting those old Vietcong You've got to see us right You don't know what it's all about!!! Nor us, just go and fight" Poor Jock ain't with us any more God bless his poor old mum Our lad he was a forward scout No use his bloody gun As the flying metal put him down Our jock the hero died As politicians wined and dined So many tears were cried.
A long time passes and I am still here Silently insulting, brutally weeping But then I lift my head from the ground To see him standing there Towering over me in all endeavor of quietude Was he there the entire time? I feel his eyes but see only his stare I am dreaming again Has he returned to guide me? To frighten me back into reality? Who are you, entity of fear? I know death draws me near— But why, oh mystery, do you linger here? He never answers me, though still I try Why are you here? Must you hate me too? He pulls me up staring me down His thin, sophisticated form makes me feel hollow Empty features burning my vision As he bends facing me I never want to see your face again See, that's why I hide. . . Why, I ask, my voice croaking Tell me why. . . He takes my hand as I cringe Walking me to the edge, his head tilted my way I shake like a dried leaf on the brink of autumn A small, pathetic part of me wants to thank him To believe all of this. . .is right How though, can I trust his blank sincerity? I am the only. . .the lonely But there he is beside me His long fingers intermingling in mine The sense of fear and confusion Sticking to me like grime I am the Slender Man—I am—your friend And for once I let him embrace me I cannot bear to flee He tenses and tightens his grip Dreading I may slip away in panic Please stay. . .please stay Soon it will all just go away. . . He is warm against me—alive Breathing slowly, I feel the beating of his heart Bashing my nerves—blurring my mind Tingles shoot down my spine As I stand there, so close to him We watch a sagging sunset As tears flow down my infected eyes I have learned to fly. . .to embrace the lies Squeezing my hand he holds me close As the black sun wearily lifts its head one last time Only to sink from its post I never want to see your face again See, that's why I lie Slender Man cradles me in his tendrils Surrounding me like I am its sickly nourishment Whispering comforting falsehood I gaze beyond the wasteland Beyond myself. . . But there I find nothing Hand in hand we walk over the edge Heading yonder into the sheer, sweet Nothingness The demons watch us disappear Grinning from ear to ear I cannot see them now. . . But I can smell their fear -January 26, 2013-
Used to be an individual now I'm just a complex number stripped away from my own individuality made me uncomfortably wake from my slumber. Used to be a boy wonder. I was living the life. Didn't think I'd get sucked under, didn't think I'd end up wanting to kill myself with a hunting knife. My wrongful deeds have made me feel as if I'm living in a dreadful still life picture, wishing someone would look at me and reconsider and view me as a normal fixture.
What to call it What to call it This feeling inside It's searching for weakness I'm trying to hide What to call it This feeling deep down Its harsh and distasteful It wants me to drown What to call it This horror unseen Heart clouded with darkness With no trace of green What to call it This symptom unknown It's driving me crazy Foul seeds it has sown What to call it It has an ill air I now have decided To call it despair
You'll come to me one day and beg for love Reminding me of heights we reached above The dreams we shared and love we made so right And how our passion burned till morning light The day will come when you will need my bed A haven was it then for weary head You'll come to me and beg to be led there Where not just bodies but our souls lay bare The day will come when you will ask of me to take you back and give you constancy You'll beg of me to love you like before But you don't know, the lock is on the door You laid me low, you broke me, and I died The one who loved you, does not here abide
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTPIJW_nVCY I pity him, a young black teen Trying to be a man with no self-esteem He examines his life but still can't get it right His history and past still affecting him at night He dreams dreams where he relives the past When he was talked about for not being very fast A fat boy, dedicated to his love Rejected affection is what he dreams of His attempts at sports earned him a bad place In which he was called a disgrace to his race And sadly he had a very weak heart Falling for every girl in hopes to brighten up his dark Empty, alone, he searched for his essence Something he could use to embrace in his darkness The job was open but no one would commit No one would help to pull him out of this abyss A quiet boy, what they call honest and sweet Mistreated, deleted, and beat to his knees Closed eyes he listens to the laughter It shaped him, molded him, just like beaten batter He's now 17 and has an intriguing mind He knows what to fix but doesn't know how to bind To seal the torn edges of his soul To direct the path in which his emotions go He's no longer bullied but his mind is on self-destruct Never felt the love of a pretty girls touch Somethings still wrong but he doesn't know what What's repelling them, is he not enough He opens his eyes looking through a wet mist A single tear falls and he clenches his fist He sits up listening to his hearts drum And at last the next day has finally begun
I could see a face, In tears, at my agony phase, Mum, was that you there, Together with them, my death to declare? I could die it painful, Too young, life wasteful, Dad, was that you tearful, Trying to remember our lives eventful? Could come up another, Hopes, me not to die, Friends, are you there to lie, And let me live like it were? I could imagine it now, From toes, painfully slow, Soul from its cages, go Lifeless, cold on the floor. Left hurt, everyone to sob. Peacefully gone, To God with all sins done, Dear God, could I for a minute talk, Talk good, narrate a folk, That I lived a life of hate, For I fought all that did want a fight.
Hey guys this isn't a poem it's more like me telling you all about myself and my life. As you all may know from the content of my poems that I suffer from mild to severe depression. I've been depressed for a little bit over a year but it's only now that it's really starting to set it's roots and kick in full effect. It used to just creep up on me one day I'd be happy, smiling and laughing then the next day I wouldn't want to get out of bed I'd suddenly become sad for no apparent reason at all. It would so bad to the point that I'd get excruciatingly painful migraine headaches daily during which any kind of light made my eyes hurt. If I tried to get up and walk I'd get dizzy and lose my balance there were times where I couldn't see, I couldn't eat. I was also very self conscious about my body image and weight and still am. I used to weigh 105 pounds and my doctor would tell me that I have a high metabolism and I'd hate myself for that no matter what I tried to do I couldn't gain weight. That alone would be enough to send me into a downward spiral of depression I'd try out for the football team at my school and I'd get rejected because I didn't meet the weight requirements and that would make me even more sad. Ok moving on I now weigh 120 pounds I'm still not happy with it but I accept it for now. Nowadays I get so depressed over anything literally will trigger me. I'd worry about things and then I'd obsess over it. Recently there have been times I'd obsess over things to the point that I'd get suicidal. Just recently last night me and my girlfriend had a fight and almost broke up I got so depressed about it that I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd do without her and I got extremely suicidal I did something that I hadn't done for almost a month. I self harmed. Speaking of self harm when I first started doing it I'd cut my wrists almost every night it got so bad that at the end of that first month my wrists and forearms were covered in scars. Through the times when I was extremely suicidal I did everything I could to kill myself I hung myself from the ceiling fan, I've tried to drown myself, I've slit my wrists, I've overdosed, once I've even attempted suicide at school in the restroom. Over the past months I've tried to be strong, I've tried to set a good example for my little brother and sisters, I've tried so hard but on the inside I'm just really sensitive and weak. I've just recently started thinking about reaching out for professional help.
Trapped. No where to hide.You scream at me through the door.Though your words still sting me. I sit on the ground alone.Blood drips down like tears. tears run down like rain.The room's spinning. My heart bursts out of my clothes.We got into a fight. Why is unclear. I tried to leave. You hit me. I fell.I started to cry. You kicked me.A sharp pain burst out of my chest. I could not breath. I have little energy,I kicked you. You fell. I ran to our bedroom. I am trapped. No where to hide.I'm weak. I stumble to your Night stand.I see a gun.You break down the door. I grab the gun.You start to choke me, squeezing my throat like you were trying to get some sort of juice out of me. I pull the trigger. BANG!Trapped. No where to hide.Your grip feels looser. Your face in pain. You fall down. i fall into darkness.Free. No need to hide.
When you offer up your heart and soul and pour yourself into a relationship only to have it spat back into your face and your heart ripped out and trampled under foot right before your own eyes and when you attempt any kind of damage limitation to be laughed at almost hysterically leaving you to hide in a dark corner with the tears streaming down your face feeling every raw nerve being scraped again and again and yet you go on hoping for better optimistically hoping for sunrise when in reality there is only the night and darkness the darkness of her nasty mouth and wicked laugh in it all there is one glimmer of light, the children you made are beautiful and bright and young as they are they can see the truth as you retreat further you feel it stir deep inside it fights back your spirit, that wonderful human thing it' still there unbroken, just a little bent so you escape into your art and pour into it your heart but art has a dark side too and it can bite you opening up the wounds making you raw once again facing the darkness from within your light and so yet again you retreat into the night ...............deeper and DEEPER into Darkness
The razor has left you with scars that remind you Of how you had wanted to end in the bathroom And now they talk softly and tiptoe around you So you won't be tempted again by the past gloom
One year I went to a summer school. And there was a girl there With shining eyes and An award winning smile. She was kind to everyone and Excluded no one. She always laughed with others But you could go to her when you needed it. We talked for hours and Quickly became friends. Last year I went back to summer school. The girl was still there. She had sad eyes but Kept the award winning smile. She was kind to everyone yet Excluded herself. She never laughed properly But you could always go to her when you needed it. We talked for mere minutes and I guess I lost a friend. This year when I went to summer school The girl was no longer there. Rumours of suicide surrounded Her name And no one was kind to us all. Everyone excluded their-selves. Silence consumed every thought and moment Because no one was there when we truly needed it. Memories of talking haunted me and I couldn't help but miss my friend.
Blackness, a dark version of me, badness, negativity. No matter how fast i run or were i run too your right behind me. Even the brightest sun doesn't destroy you, you only exist because of me. All i know is when i face the darkness you disappear, but to only return when the sun rises.
1 through the door 2 through your heart 3 through your head 4 colors in my eyes Red, red, red 1 clash 2 rings 3 words 4 sirens Shrieks of red, red, red 1 bed of white 2 saviors 3 men at my side 4 grievers Tears of red, red, red 1 room of rock 2 rings around my wrist 3 eyes in my head 4 days before forever Stains of red, red, red 1 room 2 sides 3 on one 4 on the other Crying out red, red, red 1 decision 2 stabs of pain in my side 3 cries 4 smiles The judge says red, red, red 1 boy 2 people 3 arguments 4 solutions Mine was red, red, red
In the year, nineteen an' thirty-nine, in a small town that seemed not to care, a little girl tried her very best to dress well, and groom her dark hair. She'd fight for her life—whatever it took, an' survive her father so cruel, her heart would stay strong , she'd try hard to belong in this town, and much harder—in school. Her mama had passed on to Heaven— five years since she'd breathed her last breath… Daddy had tried to hide how he cried, but then chose to live life in the past. He drank every day of the week then, and worked—but seldom, at most. His life seemed meaningless—useless, lacking life goals he might boast. Food was quite scarce in the cupboards, and her thin arms and legs bore the tale of bruises and stripes from the whippings she received every week without fail. She was only a girl in the fourth grade but her will and good marks got her thru'— nobody would come to her rescue, in those days—t'was the wrong thing to do. Her dresses were hand-me-down clothing with ties hanging loose in the back— bright calico colors were faded but worn proud no matter their lack. She tried hard to comb her long tresses and bathe whenever she could, but water was heated on a potbellied stove, and Dad wouldn't chopped any wood. The house, feeling cold and so lonely, was never fresh cleaned as before, looking neglected and run down— crooked shutters and broken screen door. Kids teased her at school on the playground, and shunned her when seen about town. Her soul was burdened with sorrow, and her eyes looked sad-blue tho' dark brown. Suspicion and rumors abounded but folks minded their business back then— they stayed out of another man's family no matter his obvious sin. She struggled each day in her hard life, making plans for a future to live but fate was cruel and decisive— too soon, she had no more to give… The town had just turned a blind eye— neglected to care for this child, protect the poor girl who lived in their midst, and was known to be quite meek and mild. Now, a grave lies stark—unattended, her birth date and death carved in stone— murdered by her drunken father, ignored by a town—left alone. (dedicated to Donna who survived abuse) Tamara Hillman ©2007
My own downfall, being with no malice of intent. the gravity of being born with no force, my soul even wanders beyond my spirit. shame of uncleanliness; guilt of unworthiness, troubles of accepting, missing pieces that can't be held together. troubles with sanity, sometimes roughing it out to tip of the edge of reasoning. no rest for the weary, thanks!, things couldn't get any tougher than this. mentality co-existing with no hope of success, unwanted failures and regrets slowing me down until it all ends.
Kali, Kali, Kali She is the sated navy night Swathed with soldering white stars Warm summer air, coastal dream An unwavering fortune of deep, red Eden grapes Hanging like drops of sweet wine Shifting with dark leaves the balmy breeze with trees that sound like tumbling seas, singing, "Kali, Kali, Kali" She is a lullaby, a reverie At home and away She carries all of it with her A man's entire heart, Italian spells Her golden hips curving like a bell slender spindle legs sun kissed shoulders wrapped soft, she is a doll with air-brushed skin Kali, Kali, Kali… You will always win While I will never be enough Kali, your legacy presses knives in me Making my hour glass body an inadequate pendant with an unfortunate name a ripped blue dress second rate lips falling to the floor, sore… My nights pulse only with heavy music Rummaging suits, dark rooms sticky floors, cigarettes, señores and a dizzied mind hoping this night will pass and I'm terrified, Love Because even when you're with me I can't be home And I can't be my own My blood's too dense And my heart's too free This, Kali makes me see I am not a dream But broken seams My intentions covered over By the song of tumbling seas I'll only ever be Unworthy me… Alli…
I am lost, and broken, trapped alone, in a foggy crevasse, wedged between sanity | madness | anguish. I lose, and break, memories taunting, my waking thoughts, stripping me bare | naked | exposed. I survive, barely breathing, slipping deeper, into nothingness, feeling little | shattered | numb. I am incomplete, without you, broken and fatigued, gnawed by emptiness | desolation | pain. I persist, each breath futile, crushed, yet alive, comforted knowing only, that you breathe | you live | and you love.
You abide in the light I'll miss you…when you venture off at night Don't forget me… Don't discard me… Don't leave me… Forgive me for drifting away from you… Please forgive me… Please don't ignore me… Hear my pleas…don't turn the other direction… Run with me…into heaven's light I've given you my soul… I've shared with you my melody I've fed you until you were full… I've healed you when you were under the weather… I've tried to bring us back together You hang on the rope of hope I'll rely on you…I'll cling to you… You saved me from subsiding into the obscure abyss Don't reject me… Don't depart from me… Don't release me… Respect me for who I've become Please respect me… Honor my presence Protect me from any sort of harm Is it in your nature to relieve my anguish? I've been driven away by my affliction I've set you free from Egypt…and lead you to the Promise Land Have you forgotten my affection? I've tried to empathize what you're going through – I've gave you a helping hand Don't you understand? Will you ever understand? You abide in the light I'll miss you…when you depart from my heart Don't forget me… Don't discard me… Don't mourn for me… Forgive me for wishing for your absence… Please forgive me… Please don't give up on me… Hear my side of the story… don't turn the other direction… I'm still training for perfection Run with me…until we arrive at home Hold my hand and we'll take divine flight I've cherished you for so long I've lead you to my home town – Do you remember where you and I belong? I've given you my trust… I've shared with you my dreams You're an apple to my eye You were my angel of grace, promising concord – Bestowing blessings upon me Your vitality never wears off… You were my lamp – Glowing with serenity and elation Tranquilizing my mind from despair and unease I'll never regret…meeting you that magnificent night I knew that that was love at first sight The moment you stepped foot into the light
I hear them Purring and Whispering in my head. Wishing that I would let them free. I say no to them. They start to yell, Driving me into madness. I clench my ears, I beg them to stop please. They do not listen "These monsters will push me over the edge!" I cry out in the blackness that surrounds me. Then all at once it stops The cries and the screams. Tears dripping from my eyes, Seeing only a bright light on the floor, Looking up seeing his hand reaching for me, "Monsters may plague your mind," His voice calming and sweet like warm candy. "But, I will fight until my dying breath to keep them from their push." He helps me off of my feet. "Who are you?" I ask him tears welling up in my eyes as they whisper. "The prince of light and all things good." He brings me into a tight hug, The smell on his white clothing intoxicating, "My princess of darkness and all things evil, let me protect you from yourself." He lifts my chin to look into my weeping eyes, "Do not cry, I am here now."
I am a lost person, but I am not alone. I make choices in my life and I choose to let go. I need a change of space, and my lyrical notes, The beauty and the face should fade, but more I want to grow. The nobility in life is sad, when madness is a nuisance and insanity a fad. I have some regrets, some I can't forget, but If I can't forgive myself, then who will forgive my sins? I'll give it my all, and pray I win. I'll keep my heart locked and throw away the key, never let anyone inside, so I can remain free. Can I question a higher power, or would I be dead, The scum of the earth, creating poetry that is read, by the mindless masses, blaming the heart to death, I hope this will heal me, burning the past, The beauty in the innocence, never really lasts. I have a feeling tonight will open my eyes, and guide me too the light instead of lies. I'm praying to god that you are how I think you are, because I need compassion, not just a broken heart. I don't know why I like you, but you seem to close to part. Please don't leave me here, surrounded in the dark.
I've never hit rock bottom so hard. I got up but it feels like I'm still sitting down. I've never felt pain so bad To the point where I just can't function. The memories I can't seem to erase They replay in my head constantly until I'm in tears. I've never had my heart broken so bad That just picking up the pieces crumbles in my hands. I've never felt so alone. That even while you hold me I can't feel your arms. I've never been so depressed in my life That even a psychiatrist don't know my diagnosis. There is only one way to go but up. But my ladder keeps sliding down. I run, jump, skip, hop. Defeat lays on my breastplate. 12/23/12
I stare blankly ahead of me; stare into the cracked soul of the being who used to reflect a smile - the girl I used to love unconditionally. That love evades me now. Where has it gone? I search desperately, but I fear it is lost forever - lost forever in the turbulent streams of my --self--consciousness; lost in the dark recesses of my mind, in the shrunken cockles of my heart. I fear I may never find it. But surely nothing is ever truly gone; surely it is simply hiding from me - playing a twisted game of hide and seek - or creeping in the shadows of my despair until it is needed again. I need it now. Words cannot express how deeply, how utterly, I want to love that person; to see something of worth or merit in those dark eyes, to smile back when those pale contours find their pride again. But somehow, I just can't see that face the same way. All I see are lips chapped from saying "no" - from constantly repenting sins they will soon commit again and again. All I see are those blank, empty eyes staring back at me - the cracked soul within beating herself bloody to be freed. I wish I could see it - I wish I could set that girl free - but somehow I can't find how. I want to see it again: the eyes so full of promise and hope that they blossom, the smile of a girl who knows the world will keep spinning. the face of a girl who may be chipping away piece by piece, but is still trying. But you can't see what just isn't there. I'd like to think that with enough wishing, that face will return; that somehow the withering girl - bound by her own will - may find the sun again. That against all odds, the cracks will begin to fade - the splintered child will heal - and maybe, eventually, time will turn back and her smile will find its way through the pain. I'd like to think that miracles are a stones-throw away - that all you need is a little bit of pixie dust. I'd like to believe that love does conquer all - much as the world would like to prove otherwise. I'd like to believe that, beneath the face of a girl with only bad days left, there hides another girl. I'd like to believe that inside those soulless eyes, buried deep within a chasm of depression, hiding, timid, in the shadows, there lies another face: A face that, maybe, I can love - or at least smile back at in the mirror.
Have you ever felt the longing Coursing through your veins Have you ever felt the emptiness Driving you insane Have you ever felt the yearning Reducing you to tears Have you ever wondered why You've lived through all these years Do you ever feel the hunger For a life not your own Do you ever feel the emptiness Of being in this world alone Do you ever feel the sadness Crushing your tender heart Reducing you to madness Do you ever fall apart If you've ever wondered these If you've ever wanted to flee If you've ever felt your heart seize Then be assured that you know me And I do know thee
Easy it is to go down in the dark Easy it is to drown in your heart Easy it is lie down and seek death But do not expect death just yet Easy it is to yearn and want Easy it is for the ghosts to haunt Easy it is to want death to come But not so easy to let go of life hum drum Easy it is to want it to end But not so easy to transcend Not so easy to move past the dark Not so easy to lift your heart Easy it is to go into the expanse To happily go deeper To die perchance Easy it is to seek death and decay But not so easy to be happy and stay
the dark is were i belong i feel i guess wanted i love the dark it relaxes me im so use to the cold darkness its soo dark i can barly see its so cold n depressing i cry in the dark the dark is just were i want be i stay in the dark to be hiden i stay in the dark so no 1 can know my emotions my feelings are lost hiden deep inside and thats how it shall stay....
Fabricated lies boundless, Without a cause. Words of promises Left forgotten. Abandoned soul Heart less and alone. Tears of sadness recognized But not accompanied. 04/09/09
Friend where are you? are we playing Hide and seek? did you drown? there's no sea. You're close I can here You breath. So close there's a heartbeat. Shadows In the mirror Friend, is that you I screamed! There you are I reached out To touch you But it was only A reflection A reflection of me. 11/24/07
--dedicated to my friend Laura Breidenthal... I really wish I could be there for you more... ----------------------------- Pain Pain is here Pain is there Pain is in the mind Pain is kind Pain is cruel Makes us a fool Your pain My pain our pain her pain his pain their pain Pain is life Pain is the edge of the knife Pain is worry and strife Pain is knowing I cannot comfort you Pain is doing all I can do To try and help anyway Pain is sorrow Pain is today, yesterday, and tomorrow Pain is always and forever Pain ends never Pain is the smile on the face That vanishes without a trace Your pain... it's the worst pain I wish to take your pain Drown it with the rain I WISH TO HAVE YOUR PAIN I wish I wish Pain does not comply It remains...a calloused lie Pain is there Pain is here Pain is the worry that tomorrow Tomorrow will only bring sorrow Pain is NOT BEING ABLE TO COMFORT YOU! Pain is the futile attempt to make that smile appear to you Pain is knowing it's all to no avail Pain is know I just fail Pain is here Pain is there Your pain My pain Pain are the tears that constantly flow behind the closed eyes Pain is hoping we never have to say goodbye Pain is strife Pain is life Pain is the series of irrational cuts on the skin Pain is the forced stretched fake grin Pain I see in your eyes Pain I wish was all a lie Pain I wish to take away And allow happiness to stay Pain Pain Pain is always there But if I could I'd take all your pain away...
Memories scarcely recollected as if the frail pictures hold traces of shame—no, not shame— a contemptuous emotion strung upon such intruding truths, basking and waiting for words to record its frumpy existence—gone . . . There is a fear lurking where honesty resides, as blades of apathy slash away at the edges of time—making way for distant sadness. . .and a cool blur of Heartless -May 30, 2014-
The Dead, Dying... Death The visitor that appalls Even when foreseen
I wish To demolish my sorrow… I wish To forget the despair and gleefully grow… To forgive and seek the challenges of tomorrow… My downfalls and my failures… I wish To disappear I wish I had no fear… For God's near… I wish I could be a cheetah in the grassland I wish To store all of my energy for an evening run…I'd never give up in the process I wish My whole spirit could simply sponge in God's nature and make great progress And I truly wish I could stick to my daily plans of building a sturdier relationship with God I wish I had the merriness in my life especially during hardships… My countless wishes Brings me down to my weakest point… My countless wishes Overthrows me…but it helps me in the long run… I wish I could forgive My daily regrets and breakdowns I wish I could forget My despondency – embracing my frowns I wish To live a life without error Without a care I wish To be flawless when I make my everyday decisions And scare away The darkness that tries to make me give up I wish I had more time to overcome… These waves of emotions My countless wishes Brings me down to my disheartened state… My countless wishes Are like walls from every direction closing in on me… But it's a convenient tool in the future… I wish I could be live in someone else's shoes… But what good would it do? Would it lead me to the narrow pathway? Would it inspire me to push all of my doubts away? Would it push away the blues? Could He give me any clues?
Bullet wounds The criminal shoots down his First targets How dare you Shoot them uncontrollably CHAOS grows . . . Don't shoot it! The victims are running mad And you pulled The trigger I'm terrified of your strength DROP IT, man ! ! !
Chains, hay forks, knives, and a hollow whisper, become more true and sinister. Halt in the middle of the moon light, and a waver image soon is no delight. Voices run a muck in the head, so not calming you wish you were dead. Gushing blood through the eye not an image that you would rely. Nails stuck on your neck with such pain so your paralyze just little life sustain. Hoodlums terrorizing people running a muck did not really know they are in luck. More dangerous beings are out their to commit such act and with sinister stare. Laughing with haunting echo's through is an aspect of fear can imbue. The wind changes direction to smother the echoing sound of laughter. The panicking state that you are in soon drives a knife within. Blood rushing out of your vain a crucial part of your life dropping like rain. Running without a destination you will never reach anyone of your relation. Sliding your body on a wall keeping your fall in a stall. Red eyes you can see it at night is soon devouring you with little bite. Changing your belief with tonics of relief and it is to late to turn a new leaf. Ears start to deceive the animals sound eating limbs are chewing around. Slowly your red eyes steadily getting heavy is starting to take your life with a levy. Dropping down with no attitude and your life force slowly loses altitude. Breathing comes not so easy smelling flesh seems so beastly. The change comes a desire with frightening red eyes of fire. Comes more lethal than the hoodlums your heart beating like drums. Your hand becomes all fury claws come out and your howl with furry. Trance your in with no one to blame a rage thats hundreds of centuries of flame. Rising from a slumber of long lust a animal instinct that you can trust. Tearing things apart with no meaning is a trait that is so deceiving. Red eyes at night you see in a window like a poisonous black widow. Keeps you in attack mode of insanity that takes all your vanity. Ferocious emotions eating away the soul that you had once betray. The echoing sounds of loud thunder breaks away the armor with sunder. You fall once again to torturous agony the feeling of one self is so lonely. Shaking in the corner you are found with blood soaked skin you drowned. The night becomes day cruel in some way your memories go in disarray. The hunters with torches and sinister look had parted way their hands shook.
What life holds for a loved one out there, Who choose the life of the dark streets, Instead of living here, What she has choose didnt make the two ends meet. My beloved little sister choose the addiction of drugs, And my mother and I sit in agony wondering when god will save her from the devils work, We miss a part of a family wishing we can give her a hug, We put all the pain and worry in the hands of the Lord. We pray that he gets her off the streets in a safe way, While she's out there throwing herself out there for the men to make money, We pray we can hold that little girl we once knew again some day, And be able to know we have that girl back and seeing she is as sweet as honey. Not have a loved one use and steal off of us, Just to know the streets won't kill my sister first, All we can do know is have faith and trust, All of this right now is just a curse. We recieve a phone call one night, The police arrested her for robbery, We finally see the light, My sister sitting in the jail house wishing she could win the lottery. God answered our prayers,its better then the death of a family member, Today I thank him and always will for saving her from the dark path she was heading to, I'm glad that her life won't hither, My sister would have killed herself and the unborn two.
So much on my mind I can't think straight Nobody understand I don't demonstrate it. I hide behind the smiles Which I call a mask, And talk so sweet So they don't see the hurt That's within me. I've become so Introverted and isolated From those I thought I knew, And landed in the position Of a permanent foe. 04/30/08
My room, dark and black, My nightmares come back, My past, won't leave me, I need someone to free me, Deep hurt, my pain, All the regret makes me insane, My eyes, wet, The reasons why, I'll never forget, My arm, bloody, My heart, broken, On each breath, I'm choking,
My mind was filled with hope and desire. While laying in a garden of wildfire. Take my skin and flesh to boil and burn. I feel the end come as I turn. Ash and nothing more is what I've become. Are there tears in your eyes or are there none. Endure and take when I am a ghost. Know that I'll haunt you because I loved you the most.
Once in a while I meet a person whose eyes tell their story The story is like the sky reflection on the seas of glory The eyes are all the wonder of the world It sees the future, past, and present The eyes give us knowledge of the world and reflection The reflection of sadness and weakness of each creature The wonder of each individual being has a present To the world who has lots of false images To arise the moment of that one glance To follow the heart in romance Just the reflection that gather in your eyes of blue What a man and a woman should view Life is such a pain without stopping to see each eyes Its like roses you have to enjoy each passion in side When that moment collides with mind and heart Nothing in your soul can keep your love apart Join in the fun look in every eyes of a person beside With passion and romance I bet you, you would cry The luster of all the things to come A bounty of life long needs to be given by just the wonders of the eyes The blue seas reflects the different depths of our feelings And it should become revealing Come to your senses with ravaging hormones of lust The sea can take you and even the reflection in the eyes of the person The beauty is not held by one it is held by everyone Such looks with fear for no relief Is almost a dreadful part in our human nature Beware of what can happen when emotions are held Held to the core of an individual No such thing is kindness when you find yourself in the Sea Blue Eyes Calling in your soul by just looking With ignorance you play around with such futile emotion Gush away the fear and do not go insane with life so dear The grasp of the titans comes to reveal The evil within your heart is so obscenely noticed You want the sea and you want those eyes to look at you with wishes The rage in the heart are waves that cannot stop It pushes and pushes with no regret The heart falters and there is only one thing in your mind The idea of one soul to be with is the ocean The rifts that is trying to break to end the wants of desire Cannot be trusted in a human lier The beauty of man is destruction The beauty of women are commands The eyes of each does not matter in the sea Because all emotion and desire is given to those who are true Command of a person is just one thing The desire to destroy is another The Sea Blue Eyes will see no bother cause it bares it all Even the utmost desire To be continue.
Watching the news makes me want to cry I read it in the paper and I can't stop asking 'why?' An innocent one that has to die I feel the tears in my eyes. A family with a broken heart the world we know, is falling apart. ~~My Heart goes out to all the families who were victims of school shootings. ?? We HAVE to end this! I don't want to hear of another victim!!
Shadows on the wall Parents drunk screaming Screaming baby, his tears fall He should be asleep and dreaming Why are his parents fighting? Don't they know he needs them? Why aren't they stopping him from crying? Don't they know he needs feeding? He's a little baby he needs his parents Screaming and plates smashing Is all that he's hearing The mum and dad blame him for their actions The neighbours have called the police They could hear the fighting and shouting Parents carry on drinking and fighting Saying the police won't be allowed in The police are forced to breakdown the door All of a sudden I'm in the arms of a strange man Taking me away from the parents I've been crying for The officers say they have arranged plans For me to go in to temporary foster care I was only 3 I didn't really know what this means By the time I get there I'm fast asleep in my dreams Resting from a long stressful day Something I shouldn't have had to witness I should have been allowed to play Why didn't my parents give me hugs or kisses? The next day I wake up in a strange house So I guess last night wasn't a nightmare? I know there are a few people walking around But my vision is unclear I don't know who they are What are they to me? I had so much pain in my heart At this time I was only 3 Mum? Dad? Why aren't you where you should be? I've got open arms, why aren't you there to hug me? Why don't you acre or love me? I was scared don't judge me Got moved around so much 27 foster families by age eleven Parents drinking until they throw up Where am I heading? People pretending to be my mum and dad Have to call these strange kids sister and brother Always feeling angry and sad Hating the world for all it's made me suffer I got to have contact with you But it was only 6 times a year I didn't know how to act with you Wanting to ask why you don't care? But I never did I always blamed myself Could I have been a better kid? I even tried to Kurt Kobain myself Dad then a year later you died And I still hated you I know I was selfish But I felt sad inside I couldn't help it But why did I care about you dying? You never cared about me living Never stopped me from crying Didn't accept the love I was giving But I had a gift for poetry It's always been close to me I hope you both had a great time with the drink and drugs I made it without you I didn't need your love
Eyes too tired to cry Voice to weak to scream Fire to dim to die Soul too dark to dream
The monsters came back, They taunted her every night, Telling her absurd things. They made her think. They whispered in her ear Trying to lead her to do something She had tried so hard to overcome. This was a constant battle Between her and the wicked. And yet again, She was left with nothing In a dark room Because the monsters won.
~ Harlan's Holler ~ Dean Kuch ©2014 The locals say, in the light of day one can visit Harlan's Holler, stay on the path don't incite the wrath of the man who lost his daughter. The townsfolk say, to this very day, you can hear poor Charlotte cryin.' Beneath silv'ry moon, where young lovers swoon, as she lay there, slowly dyin'... In the August heat, with tiny unshod feet, Charlotte ventured into the Holler. She soon lost her way when the light of day Gave way to midnights squalor. Ripe berries sweet for her mom to eat she'd gone there for the pickin', her bucket now full, twirling locks a' crull, the creeping darkness began to thicken. She wandered for days, to the towns dismay, poor little Charlotte could not be found. Old man Harlan yelled; damned them all to hell— then placed a curse upon the ground. No crops will grow on the ground you sow, all your livestock will surely die, you'll toil endlessly, in the end, you'll be just the same as my Charlotte lie. You'll burn in hell, you'll see, in the end, you'll be just the same as my Charlotte lie... The days dragged on under the summer sun as the child withered to dust. Fred Harlan died, Bible at his side, felled by his curse and vengeful lust. Down on Harlan's Hill you can hear them still, mournful sobs by Pa and daughter, when the moon's just right, in the dead of night, stay away from Harlan's Holler. Lest you tarry there— 'neath the moon, beware, of the curse of Harlan's Holler...
I'm feeling secluded and alone again I'm lost in my tiny room I'm in a grave without the funeral It's my social pit of doom How did life become so empty Do I have a sign which is saying no entry Maybe I'm to blame for this social suicide Is this all part of life's rocky ride I'm left with just me and my thoughts Feeling all out of sorts My own company is my worst enemy It's sapping and wasting my energy But I will never come crying to you for sympathy My sheets will not become tear stained with blood There will be no flood I'm stuck in this mud Is anyone listening Is that understood Or am I just misunderstood Where are the shoulders on which to lean I don't know what's happening This must be a dream So if you won't walk with me I will walk alone Through my zone to find my throne Why is it that inside I keep feeling so afraid I fear this isolation which I have made Has become so entwined on me I've become my own worst slave and enemy Living deaf dumb and blind is leaving me behind It's getting me nothing which I try to find My confidence is low, how do I strive on I don't want to mess up anymore I don't want to get it wrong It's hard enough to believe in yourself When you are not believing in me emphatically I'm left with this loneliness enticing me sarcastically And so I'm left alone and empty In which it has gripped me And it has stripped me down again This destructive loneliness It won't leave as my one true only friend
"Temper your enthusiasm," She said, "The extremes of your reactions; You should have A more conventional frame On which to hang Your unconventionality." "Don't push people," She said, "You make yourself vulnerable." She told me not to rhapsodise, That it would be difficult, Impossible, perhaps, For me to harness my dynamism. The tone of my work, She said, Is often a little dubious. She said She thought That there was something wrong. That I'm hiding Some sad Dark secret from the world. "Temper your enthusiasm," She said, "The extremes of your reactions; You should have A more conventional frame On which to hang Your unconventionality." ("Some Sad Dark Secret" was inspired by words once spoken to me by a former tutor and mentor of mine in around 1982 or '83. And my own perhaps partly fantastical reflections on them.)
Now I see you full, my love As the moon, the Blue moon, I thought, I did see you; It was the moon, the Gibbous moon. You smiled, for me, when you were The moon, the Crescent moon, With your pain, on your dark, You laughed, for me, when you were The moon, the Half moon, But now I know, that I saw, Only the moon, the dark moon, And thought it, to be, The moon, the full moon. ©Anees Rahman
This fortress is coming down; It's been a long time in the making. This bastion can't hold its own; All these walls are shaking.
Your character deceives me Always misleads me One minute I'm your friend The next minute I'm your foe The thought of you Makes my liver quiver My heart shivers. You were my confidant Now I'm your adversary We had a good friendship Now you're not even worth, being an associate I wanna say goodbye…but I can't I'll never forget you The gleeful person you were And the impudent creature you have become. 08/15/05
When will I ever have time for fun It feels as if it has been a century since I have seen the sun I work all day, Sometimes all night I am so tired of this endless cycle already And it is just begun Will I ever have time again for fun? For smiles, and the sun? They say if you work hard, Than you play hard Work and play And work and play Will that help take the pain away? Probably not, guess I'll just go smoke some pot What can I do? What can I say? That will help this pain go away? I've taken all the pills And done all the drugs But still my secrets are swept under the rug What can I do When no one else is like you. But now, I am not playing at all I feel like all I do is fall Or maybe just give up too easily. Sometimes my thoughts are just like an infectious disease The world doesn't see what they do to me Am I happy, or Am I sad? Why do I get so very mad. Do you see the light? No, not yet. But one day it'll shine, Shine happily upon I
im siting in this dark corner on my bed just crying i feel so sad and alone i rather stay in my dark room instead of places full of light im scarried of the future and the past i dont know why i cry so much i just like the darkness siting in this darkness thinking is there some 1 out there that cares that is thinking of me who wants or am i just alone with no one im scaried today if i die would any 1 care i would hope so im just so sad and rather sit here in the dark.........
When love was tortured She was silent. She was repeating words in mind. Her eyes were looking up at heaven, And there was no tears sign. When love was being murdered She was silent. She was reminding herself of All the moments when She was smiling, When happiness was real for her. There was no pain. When the blood appeared, and Her last breath was gone, Thunderstorm and rain came out From heaven, Darkness was called to go back to earth. God cursed people and said: "You will pay for your sin forever Without understanding You will feel nothing Believing it is real".
Love is pain That's the only thing I feel. Not even a cure Can make me heel. Rain is tears The only thing I see. When it's sunny There's no light In my day. Everything good Just seem to fade away. Air is fear The only thing I breathe Surrounded with silence In a big crowd… Nobody's here There is only me. 01/25/08
Have you ever been so angry? That you can't express hurt? When the highlight of your day Becomes your downfall. I've flirted with disaster Destruction became part of me. I have no one to blame For I am my own misery. 05/23/08
Get a life, she said Dark thoughts ring through my head I am nothing—for that is what you have made me Tears streaming from my eyes All the past happiness—the lies Words do matter . . . they really do They stick to you like glue I cannot stop sobbing For the words ring true I am truly nothing—thicker than lead The next rhyme will probably be the word "dead" Damn this mind . . . damn this head I cannot escape the sorrow She held it all in And it bursts now from her quivering vocals Crybaby, she said Oh, but you do not know all that I hold in But you cannot blame them for not understanding The fault is all my own I guess the next word to rhyme is "alone" Wish they could be something more meaningful Something giving, inspiring But I cannot help this—I am rotting! I hate to be wrong but you are right What's the use of this sick denial and spite? What's the use of trying to live this life, When I am looking for a completely wrong purpose? Finding myself downright worthless. . . I hate being right. . . But sometimes . . . I really am And it your words you have spoken That make it the truth Your words leave a shameful legacy Like a sick memory, Like a regret. . . March 15, 2013
Hollow puppet dancing on her strings, Fear, fear please don't trim her wings. Crumple down to hard dirt floor, Never, never to dance any more. Limbs this way, that way thrown; No movement truly her own. Dark, empty all around, No purpose, value anywhere found. Meaning escaped, Fear evaporate. Hollow puppet dancing on her strings, Begging, desperate, please trim her wings. Pain, pain go away, Let me dance no more this way.
Streams of blue fluid Flows downward As fragile carcasses decay Without a peep of a sound We're in the brink of disaster… Who invited such fear and anguish? Who could lead us to quiet waters? We bleed… Polluting the waters below us… Trickling down the mountain To our filthy feet… Cleansing the sin off of our skin But, it's tangled from deep within… The eeriness breaks The hearts of a thousand strangers They all fall away powerlessly… Into the chambers of death Danger is lurking in every corner… Pursuing its evil plans To cut down our hopes… Growing like crops… Rising rapidly – It never stops Dreams of misfortune still Rapes our minds, Plaguing our happiness… Consuming the darkness… We're sprawling on the ground… We're crawling like infants… Veering briskly like serpents… Who will set our souls free From suppression? Who will preserve our hearts? Don't prey upon our Guiltless lives… We're in complete agony… Does He consider Our prayers Of support and nourishment? We scream… Breaking the repulsive solitude… Encourage us to keep on Trekking toward Your light Where's Your path? You rinse off all of the sorrow Giving us a ecstatic tomorrow The weeping ceases… While the corpses Tear into Blood-spattered Pieces… The faith of a couple of people Strengthens us…keeps us motivated… Not captivated… In misery… We're reaping our Ecstasy… Leading us to peace and fortune Keeping us accustomed To Your purifying spirit… Keeping us away from Calamity… We're hungry… Our demise is close at hand… Closing in on us abruptly Like an obscure cave… Rescue us from affliction – Embracing downhearted clouds… Those wretched clouds… Brought us rain when we asked for bread… Those merciless clouds… Spewed out scorching fire when we asked for relief… Remember our supplications… Appalling lightning's daring to strike us Out of cruel vengeance Out of sheer amusement Don't even attempt to weaken us We're blossoming in joy… We're under cover… You can't manipulate us Like a subtle toy We're praying for Quiet waters Offer the deceased A second chance Don't disown Our broken lives We're not alone… We're just waiting until The quiet, glistening waters Gratefully arrives…
As the days turned into weeks, the weeks into months and months into years I wondered half-heartedly how so much time could pass me by. My life was a matter of simply getting through each moment. Existing but never living. The days dragged on. Growing bleaker and bleaker with each passing moment. And, oh the nights how dark and lonely they always proved to be. Sheer exhaustion but never rest. Sleep was as foreign to me as the life I had one day known. The best I could have hoped for was to have collapsed into a heap. The tears, how they streamed shamelessly down my cheeks. In the dark corner I sat trying to avoid the world. All alone. The pain unbearable. I couldn't breathe. Only gasp between my sobs. Never-ending sadness moving in on me. Closing in until hysteria would come and take its place. The pills. Oh, they helped for awhile. Eased the pain a little in the beginning but that didn't last. So more doctors, more pills. Start taking this one and quit taking that. Stronger doses always called for though they never helped. Frustration added to the pain. Desperation finally took over. Tonight's the night. All alone. Making plans. Leaving notes. Will they forgive me? Will it matter if they don't? Freedom on the other side of a bottle. A hot bath. A handful of these and another of those. It's just a matter of time now. The tub is so relaxing. Growing sleepy. Now is the time. I have to let go. Eternity calls my name. No more pain. I am free.
Make me forget about this, How beautifully I was falling, Convince me it was my mistake, There was always no one to rely on, And no one to fight for. Look into my eyes again, Speak your lies, and Die in it. Make me forget your face, Your standing there with no move, Make me forget about you, The poor illusion, The wall that doesn't speak, The life without breath. Let me break. Don't ask me to explain. In darkness I do stand again but This is my zone, my home. This is my strength. Let me break. Let me forget about you.
At my temples, my mind starts to ache and starts to wander away from the sweet sights and sounds of reality. My heart starts pounding, like a headhunter's drum- and I see a cloth of RED fill mine very own eyes with ENVY! See nothing but red, I see my soul turn black (at that very hour,) the telephone rings, and snaps me back into reality. I answer, "Hello?" It was reality, knocking me back down on my knees; holding my gut. bleeding from my mouth, nose and eyes, I feel myself relax... I lay back with a weak and weary heart, I light a cigarette and smoke, clouded lungs, like a clouded mind of cluelessness and I take reality for what it really is, a joke. I laugh in amusement, like a simple child at a circus, and I relax and take every single last blow. 11-11-2013
Foolishness rose inside this heart It screamed for the quietude of present And covered its ear at the screeches of piercing past Groveling, undulating . . . the mountains arose And all was in eyesight Senses bled out and the lambs painfully drank This heart was once brazen, haughty and bright Now it patiently waits for the blankets of night It will never be uncovered, unraveled . . . discovered This was the thought of the heart in history But many have come across it Only to pass by in distain For who can bear the noisy sorrow of rain? They pass feeling the anguish throb Touching their hearts for moments Only to be lost in the void named Forgotten Fool . . . fool, how could you believe? This isn't real—they cannot see But in this place you have so easily found Harder will it be in this heart— To leave To give away It has fallen into selfish feeling And it waits and wallows Screaming still for silence Never to attain Only to gain the sorrow of rain March 14, 2013
I was getting the wind but was myth As he odium me was the real truth Lone wolf I remained, solo from reality And suffered the pain of libel..!!! Conk-out he did and joined another chum The truth kept me soothe I shivered in the ail of conk-out and zest And ebbed in this dark cosmos..!!!
I wish I could Go back to being five. When life was easier And every thing was ABC's and one two three's. Now I'm older Constantly Getting caught up Into lies and deceit. Little did I know That even the sweet ones Will come and go. And I hold on To where I don't belong. Reaching out for a hand That isn't there. Resting my head In the depths of despair. 03/01/09
im goin on with my life and leavin you behind i love you still but i will not go crawling back you gave me alot of love but also heartache and sorrow maybe itll b better tomorrow you hurt me bad and it used to make me sad and then it changed i got mad youll always be my first love you used to be really special and finally im goin on with my life without you and leavin you behind
Fields black and sundered so, Mists of tears, forgot in woe, Showers of rain, standing still, Skin as white as snow, Passers by wander not a sight, Pay no heed to such a blight, Showers of rain, lost in ill, Wandering each... stone cold night, Forgot, abandoned, this lowly one, Hope is lost, all yet none, Showers of rain, brights forsaken, Misbegotten hope, now that all is done.
Poverty. Hardship and suffering all behind society's eyes raised by the ghetto slums cracked lights out scavenges for life its gone. The same face in all places no father figures can't support, gone moms fiend for crack the silent killer hard to take, reality hurts the youngest nothing lives within him unloved, felt like a colorless weed wants to develop a beautiful rose society wont let its a cruel world only the streets resist the temptations. Death laid outside his doorstep waiting to grab the innocent beneath Gang life sleeps in his thoughts trying to fight the opposition a deadly current war. Getting older need to make ends meat but how, never given a chance selling drugs only option need to feed his children and in his mind nobody cares people just stare. Treated as the fungus of earth and all this money soldiers dying, the devils agreement army of weeds, never stop regrowing power making more poverty not spent on the poor only used for wars its sad. A war on drugs to fight them off but they made them dirty tricks, crooked and deceived and still we don't change this mankind has the say not the rich. Children screaming, not heard tears not felt like a raindrop with no splat it always keeps raining in his eyes. People so caught up in the power like a wolf fighting for its food wraps around the minds changing ambition to greed Just share then i think things would be fair for all the bad acts its countless. Going through his mind all the times he cried number of life's he lost early deceased in the penitentiary trapped left to die a fly under a glass. Certain peoples cause an act with no redemption soon to burn in hell tried to deceive us saying they were against us causing pains and misery. A secret war an epidemic propaganda in its finest form defying the innocent minds controlled eyes turned, no notice no justice. It goes on and keeps on growing.
Something feels wrong – the atmosphere Feels dry upon my skin I remember the summertime and its blessed breeze – it kept On flowing… blowing… bestowing… jovial love for the renewal of your heart… Once bleeding… Beating… from deep within Accept me For who I am… Accept me… Do you ever ponder About the good times We've shared? Have you Erased it From your mind Forever? I wish You could rise like the sun when the dawn comes rolling in The fog Surrounds us… With gloominess There's no need To feel my stress Remain Stress-free For eternity Dread Is caressing your soul Don't let it DEVOUR YOU. YOUR. Life. Is. Meaningful. Believe me… Please… Keep it at ease… Cast away the sorrow Flick it off into space I'll be there To run the race With you So wipe away The blue liquid… blinding your eyes DON'T. Be. Afraid… Don't be burdened By the shame Sway with me In the wind… Where peace Grows on and on and on… Forever – Until the demise Of the dawn Let the clouds Drift away And sleep without Disturbance… And don't forget To pray for The blessed breeze Let me help you Track down the worries That try to BREAK. YOU. Don't let it get to you No matter what Your body is warm Your eyes glisten And reflect Fascinating light. Shimmering With All Of Its Might. Something feels right… AT LAST!
At 8:30 AM, "Get up, LAURA! Charlie! Wake up...Robert...Wake up." No reply...no reply...just ignore my wake up calls...yell at me all you want You make me cry...cry...just shatter me like glass...you place me in the trash, but I still feel this discontent Deep inside of me... There's a sea of remorse swirling around me... At 12:15 AM, "Hey Laura!" No reply...no reply... "What are you doing?" I just want to cry...a river...why? She still ignores me...now I'm feeling the anxiety... She still jokes around with me, but I feel so angry...and so empty... She's texting her friends again...I must talk to her sometime She still doesn't answer my calls...she doesn't care to wipe off my grime Sponging inside of me... I guess I'm left with my chores for today My heart is swelling up in dismay...and my sky turns to gray And I pray...for relief and I just want to say... I love my sisters and brothers, but they truly don't care for me...or at least that's what I think till this very day This lonesome feeling sufficates me... Go ahead and ignore me, sister You just added another blister In my mouth, my hopelessness avalanches all over the ground You make me frustrated...and now my head spins round and round And I feel bound... By stress and torment! Go ahead and neglect my voice My heart is seeping out misery...pumping with fret... while you text your friends and rejoice In my head, my painstaking regrets torture me profoundly You don't care to listen - live your life without me My soul is left in the cold... Oh! Go ahead! Let me mold...mold... I worry about you, sister... But you left me to dry like glue...you made me suffer don't beg to differ... Go ahead! Blow fire in my direction... I warn you...you don't want to see an eruption I don't want to be ensnared by my corruption... Please God...pick me off from the ground... and show me some direction Or I'll be broken down like the titanic... And You don't wanna see me panic... Panic... At 1:00 AM, I decide to pray to God for protection... I pray...I pray... I wait for His reply.......................... He helped me fight my depression wars He unchained me from the cage... and taught me how to fly He cherished me... He understood me and He still does till this day... He healed my sores... And He doesn't ignore my calls! He makes me feel content even in the midst of hardships - I pray...I wait...I cry... For His comfort daily... to nourish me when I feel ignored Or when I'm stabbed in loathe... I pray that Your peace be restored In our family once more. I wait For peace To fix the broken glass...to fix the emotions breaking us all I pray For the chaos to cease To make the whole world rejoice...to encourage us to stand tall Will love make us whole again?
Landscape of Hiroshima about eight-thirty a.m. After the death angel Enola Gay turns away she gave birth to the little boy as fiery rolling smoke starts clearing Etched upon a wall a boy and girl playing with a ball Those there could not see it for their eyes were melted A city meshed with death blood iron and rock A three year old boy partially dripping skin cry's for mom But a twelve year old girl looks unharmed but within days Poisoned by death's light she withers away As you pull back from this horrific seen It only magnifies for a hundred thousand plus Stench smoldering flesh mingled with everything The land of sun lays beneath a blanket of death A city leveled by little boys fierce foul breath And then aftermath for years later Countless children die or are born defective
It's easier to break yourself In tiny pieces To show them how you suffer. It's easier to cut your hands and See your blood flowing out of Your body filling the silence which is Killing you. It's easier to say goodbye, Pretend like you don't care and Always smile, and smile all over again Because it is nothing that They want to know. It's easier to walk out the door, Easier to disappear when You feel nothing holding you To anything that in the end is Nothing at all, Especially all of them who were Trying to be a part of your life Occupying your mind and heart, Steeling what was real once inside of you But then they were all gone. It's easier you think but You don't know a thing. Nobody is going to show you the real That you pretend. It's easier to say but There is the hardest out there. To prove you wrong When it is needless I'm not going to. Because there is no sense To teach the dead to feel the life.
Holy books says it all You taught me how to crawl This will never change Never ends never fades Dear God where you are? Shattered piece of childish dreams This will never change Never ends never fades. I can fight for all my life, Not broken, not broken inside Never be so frustrated, Not going to commit suicide. Fuc*ing faith will fall, Mortals will stand tall Hell and heaven are all the same Live your life, don't die in vain Only you and I can make A better world for tomorrow Have faith in yourself And wipe off the tears of sorrow Make me scream, Make me cry I'll never fail to try. This night's has an end No pain will remain
Left in my own thoughts Tarnished forever through nightmares Pierce me with your passions…tangle me in your knots You left me…I have no choice, but to cry… I'm breaking by the seams I drink in the sorrow… I spew up regret… I cannot drink any further I drink and drown myself – unable to hope for tomorrow I'm left in my own thoughts…I cannot walk any longer I recall my past decisions…I'm swallowed up by the echoes of fear I'm not your valuable merchandise! Don't seek me – you wanted your dreams to come true and peace to draw near Don't count on me – I'm not wise! I'm swallowed up by the churning sea… Leading me to my own demise I drink in the sorrow… I puke up resentment…I'm upset and cannot go on with life I douse myself in my misfortune – no one listens to me… No one catches me before I wallow… Pick me up from the murky waters Lift me up from the gutters Make me spotless and leave me the leftovers Dress me up and hand me some covers I'm trying to piece together my fragmented thoughts I can't see a happy ending in this scene – Preserve my notions in Your thoughts and save them like leftovers… Oh, but my thoughts are thrown in the trash like rotten leftovers – left unseen Tarnished forever through nightmares My foul ideas don't have a structure – they're just… Tangled up knots
I think I was born to be a frog, Staring across the lake, Into the distant horizon. Or a lonely wolf, howling Into the cold moon face, Seeking the comfort of warm beauty Tears. The star lighting dreams of lost Souls, silver lining clouds On the cows back, over the milky way And back. All I know deep Inside, Love makes The world go around, sweet , beautiful, In every living, breathing hour, makes life complete. I think I was born to be an eagle, Soaring on the wind currents, my eyes surveying all below Or am I mere shadow, a Dark entity, Seeking the comfort of Love, a Soul of light. A Soul trapped In anguish, In a night world of shadows, Embracing but shadows of reality, a Soul crying for light. Love heralds In the light, my Soul eagerly awaits, The shadow shall one day be seen, as a man of light and Love. 'til then he shall mourn In his sorrow, always the eternal Dark Man. A Collaboration by Liam Mcdaid & Michael Clarke.
Part II - Iambic Tetrameter aabb rhyme Part II Concealed in dreams, revealed at dawn, The dark brings demon things thought strong. No morbid mood can now contain Feigned pride residing there in pain. The dreadful dark of dreams means fear, As shades and shadows now appear, In early morning forming light, Selecting scenes and stealing sight. No pill can fill the empty will Consuming and seducing still All brevity and clarity Of ones own personality. To realize reality Is nothing more than what you see Inside the prism of your mind, Confirms the evil there to find. Each day may start and part in fear (relief is just belief made clear) When life's confounded all around Your ears will hear and fear all sound From days when all you thought was true Depended on a vision view That took the book of facts and claims And mastered making names and games. The fear that clears your dreary dreams, Will float around your moat of schemes And leave you neat but not alone As fear is near its final home. Now so confused, bemused and used These needy dreams leave you abused. What light or might or higher sight Do dark dreams seem to glean each night? Now lost inside you cannot hide Forsaking all your waking pride; What curst incursion must be made To take and make you not afraid. Fear will hover over sorrow, Reaching, leaching living marrow Deep within the bin of bone, This fear will reach but not atone.
a hollow shell of tangled synapses sparked into gradual madness which drowns out the truths of the day as the mind reeks of the rotten sad moments that swirl in the rancid soup of forgotten dreams dreams that once traced a gentle path of innocence dreams that reached for pure love's tender touch dreams now paralysed but once vivaciously alive what became of those fresh dreams and hopes as they lie mustily on dusty bookshelves torn into shreds by time's fine scimitar devoid of the touch of raw passion when all that remains of love is a hollow shell
One night as we pulled into the complex Over the bumpy Colonial Arms exit, Taj was sitting out on the brick stoop With a single light blinking over his serious face His mouth encased in a smoky cloud And a single flame at the end of his cigarette Tapping into an empty Heineken bottle I opened the door, and my slender leg Lengthened on slick black heel As I made my way to him Knowing that the night should be over Knowing that I had no plans to end it A couple of blinks and words later, I'm pressed to the bathroom wall And I'm losing it all Clothes, my red lipstick, my sanity "Screw it" already sealed my destiny And though some would say "You're there for the ride" I'd so no, I'm just trying to survive I'm scrambling for a light in dark places The night's not over, but I'd prefer to be An alcoholic fool to find it And before long, Taj knows what I've done And he calls and mocks my pride curses my god, insults my father And I try to hold it together My red chest in fistfuls of my shaking hands My vulnerable bitten lips Unable to sob through the shock Of my stupid heart, and the way I acted on all my misgivings This isn't living But it's a fact I'll forget when I go And screw it up again With a friend, with a stranger, with a man with his fingers crossed behind his back I have to laugh When this morning, a year from then I find myself collapsed and chapped Sobbing into an already tear stained floor A fool has nothing to lose but his life And tonight, there's not much between me And the knife That would take me there And as blood drips to the end of my golden hair Maybe I will find home And maybe my dream will let me murder the man Who stole it from me Screw it.
Where I'm I? What is this awful place? Where hope exists only in intangible dreams. Every futile attempt at happiness Is a guaranteed success at sadness. Where I'm I? What is this awful place? Where the truth is never what it seems, And faith is replaced by endless doubt Because disappointment is found in every route. Where I'm I? What is this awful place? Where silence drowns even the loudest screams. Where darkness cannot be pierced by even the brightest light, Plunging the world into an endless night.
Like a warm knife through the butter of the soul, The insect that scratches the ear drums as we watch love's lies lay eggs of waste Till they're in the mouth of your mirror's reflection of fear least someone should lie themselves into a care of this placebo of lust. Till eyes turn against nature to the arid desert of exhaust the emotional orgy to the mental climax of the unreal. Descriptions of the void so vivid stirs a chuckle refusing to be hydrated with tears Cynical text mid composition stirs the stomachs dragons....sighs O how love's lies have caught us.
loving with my heart only to be told i am not the one loving with my soul loving with my all why even love at all seeing you do not love me the good times you remember no more thrown away into the dark blue sea the times we shared and you said you treasured through thick and thin and bad weather we weathered the storm together now it is as you do not know me also throw me into the dark blue sea
The best things in life aren't things. So here's my gift back to you. Although the way to predict the future is to Invent it. I'm sorry we Invented this "relationship". However tough times never last but tough people do. 11/2/08
There she is the false image standing quietly She is just standing looking at a beautiful flower She notices her passion of earthy desire Something is happening she burst into the sun I look up as her hands grasp my face Her sea blue eyes gazed at me Her warm hand and then a bright light blinded me I went down on my knees and cried The salty water dropped on to the ground I live by the ocean so deep I do not know how to swim By the thought of a beautiful look That made me shake With fear in my head I saw those Sea Blue Eyes I cannot restrain myself she burst into the sun What is going on is it just the feeling of being left behind She was a desire and now I have none Driving nuts and insane what will I do Believing such a image is a dream I walk on the sand by the ocean with flowers in my hand Raising it to the sky and trying my best to lure her The image came close It pulled me into the ocean I was soaked What a lonely human being I am I grope the sky with such desire I look pitiful and look anguished What horrible feeling I have to pull the beauty that is nature down The wind blew one day the image once more appeared A young woman standing beside a flower with deep Sea Blue Eyes Looked at me a glance of hope and happiness came I reached for her and all of a sudden I fell into a deep sleep Months past they had told me that I jump off a cliff They explained that the flower patch was by it I realize heaven and earth cannot be reached with out a sacrifice With meaningless thoughts I would wonder of to the cliff area To see the ocean were it meets and ends I was told a story long ago that the feelings of the ocean can seep into your soul The trend of this story came shortly after some deaths I was fooled the lady with the Sea Blue Eyes can manipulate anyone Ladies and men, she is an illusion of the utmost desire Blaming everyone human kind knowing they are lyres The ghostly images that creeps everyone is oneself Desire falls upon those who are lonely Believe of the unnatural becomes science The Sea Blue Eyes is no lie cause they have been taking souls Through century they have been taking souls for tolls I stood once again near the ocean reaching to the sky Lonely I was ready to disappear One day she not the lady of the sea it was the one I knew I was blessed that day she embrace me I then fell into a slumber of bliss and desire Now I just hear voices and I am paralyze down A disappointment I was fooled once more by the Sea Blue Eyes To be continue.
A soul-searched stretch of despair Emits from the pores of these tears… Staring off in an emptiness I embrace A place so stark of life So lost…glad to be misunderstood Yet frustrated by the lack of empathy The lack of sense… Words oozing in an unfeeling mess… To exist… to merely exist Does it not baffle you? Does it even cross your mind… That you…and your thoughts… are so Incredibly alone...? ... Or is this soul lost in sorrows… Sorrows you can never dream to behold?
BURIED PAST EXHUMED Today is a gift and always called present Yesterday has passed and referred to as past Nobody knows tomorrow and it's always anonymous My past was dead and long buried in the casket All memories and remains six feet beneath the soil I came in the present and lived in the present I never knew the past, so I lived ignorant of its history Not that I didn't care to ask but what will I ask? Something is wrong in the present that dates back to the past This wrongful thing is connected to the future. Today is the present and the present is a bad gift The problems got too enormous; I capsized in it amidst storms The wreck was too bad a worst; I got lost in it Deep down the ocean of confusion; I lay amidst sharks To the everyday of everyday; I strived to always survive to strive There is always hope, and I hoped for a better tomorrow While still hoping deep in the sea; sharks made my heart their abode Continually attacking me and slowly draining my life away To every solution I sought; no answer and no help To the misery of the present; the worst awaits in future. Death got our life on the edge Every tight cliff too slippery to hold Even in death; not all memories are dead So far there is life, the truth always surfaces At that unexpected moment, the truth got disvirgned My dead past was exhumed with all the pains and sorrow So wretched was the remains it drew blood amidst painful tears At that moment, the symbols of the present had its meaning It pains I knew now but it's good to know how to tackle the present Exhumed is exhumed; bury the remains again; the memories lives on........... …Lordvip…
Everyone's gone... There's no one to look up to...not one... Not one will be kind enough To look down and attempt to help me... Everyone's gone... I'm beneath the debris There's no one there to save me... I'm left to my own misery Everyone's gone... I guess I'll find my way out of this maze Without any clues I'm waiting for relief to dawn upon me Everyone's gone I'm dealing with so much trauma I'm watching for any signs of support... Hear my echoes of pain... It drives me insane... Catch me before I fall off the cliff... Everyone's gone I'm all skin and bones I'm trapped like a hunted animal The predator took a bite into me... Don't just watch me suffer... Deserted in this lonesome state Everyone's gone I'm kicked around like a soccer ball Hear me as I call... Help me to stand tall Help me... Reach up to the sky To feel the coolness seep through me Help me... To be inspired to write more uplifting songs Help me think more positively - help me wave g'bye Help me... Forgive me for all of my wrongs... Everyone's gone I'm a screwed-up building I need you to be my backbone Straighten me up...help me to be stiff like a soldier About to enter another horrifying war Support me today... And stick with me tomorrow! I want to let go of the past memories... Scaring away my happy moments and delights I want to smear away the blasphemies… Obliterating my blissful days and nights Everyone's gone... There's no one to depend on...not one... Not one will be brave enough To look down and attempt to help me... Everyone's gone... I'm beneath the city There's no one to show me the jolly sun... I'm left to my own misery Everyone's gone... Fine… I'll find a way to get out of this nightmare Without any clues I'm waiting for relief to give me strength instead of fear
Seeing through the eyes of the misfit and lonely Hearts explode from the fear of it all Propelled by failure I shake with fright Wondering where will my head lie tonight? Under the clay or on top of your thighs? In a cold shallow grave our spirits arise Insides rot with the test of ones heart Craving and hunger, what kept us apart? Broken down by cancer's seclusion Casting out love born free of illusion Pounding out beats until the fat lady sings Leaving this place, forgoing his wings Who will cry for the suicide kings? Judge if you dare some comfort it brings Forget him we will, written off a lost cause Too close for comfort he's broken our laws Who cries out for the suffering souls? Exhausted, defeated, never reaching their goals Torn apart by the presence of pride Their honor forsaken and ripped from their hide Pray for those who dream from above Their lives cut short by the absence of love Pray for me as I hold on to my last... Words for the wonder of you
Sitting in the dark I can't find the light. Theres no pain on this side It feels oh, so right. Hate when the sunshine Its morning time, I can see everything around me And it's not a delight. At night Everyone's asleep Ah, the sound of peace. Wrapped in my sheet With lots of sweet dreams Don't wake me now Not today Not tomorrow! In the dark I can hide my feelings Darkness is my healing Oh sun Please don't rise I don't want to see you In my eyes. You're to bright I hate the light Just set And let me rest And let me rest Let me be death's mistress. 09/25/07
Years i felt it, there was know way out of the abiss, no point in giving a shout, who would hear it and who would care? so alone in the world just as if it was bare. My cries went un heard, no comfort i felt, alone to dwell with the cards i had been dealt, years of waiting with dark thoughts in my head, untill the same dark path led me to the light instead. The feeling of comfort knowing i was saved, my problem was someone elses i could be knowones slave, i thank GOD for saving me from that dark lonely time, knowone else could of reached me, not even myown mind. Now i walk in the light never to be alone an i seek to help others in the same way i was shown, so go in peace my brothers and sisters and hold your head high! . . never forget in times of hardship GODS right by your side.
Stripped like a slave I have no freedom No rights inside this enclosed life Its starring me in the eyes what do I do with this knife Dropping it as it crashes to the cold tiled floor I fall right behind it as darkness surrounded me with a closed door No point to scream and shout I don't see any future that can restore I crawl on my knees for your liking Bruised skin and open wounds drenched in alcohol as it begins to sting Swinging back and forth on the rope of life a tight grip I cling Letting go to a tragic death I know ill be under Gods wing Shot with bullets and shot with what we call a dart Living along side of me but were you really with me from the start Saying those spiteful and hurtful words I pushed you away and soon I fear we will part I paint my life on a canvas which now has many dark spots but it's still classified as art Feeling left in the rain struck by lightning shaken by thunder you can't see that I have a bleeding heart The one day that was given to me from God the one and only I still sat in a corner starring through a double platted glass all lonely There were false tellings that day Learned not to bite off more than I can chew because I don't live the life that of a buffet Sorry I was such a disappointment to you Thinking my life is perfect and everything is fine I say "if you only knew" Not asking for the wind to come but with no control it blew Life is not a game in which you can jus undue I wish I could because I use to look out the window now starring at a wall is my view I once had a heart but it's gone and now there is a hole Every painful beat I am paying a new toll Down in the trash of an empty cold park I stroll Living has become a mystery the only thing real is my soul It's dark and cold where I am and he left me I don't know who is in control He is not God it was someone else in which was the thief that stole Standing in a corner I thought you were suppose to be my number one friend You said you didn't but at times I believe you did pretend There is nothing left to buy…for my life has a price thou shall spend I am ready in which a destiny I can attend Like a sad song or a sad movie...life doesn't get better until the end © Jeremy Fennell
My name is Casey, I am just a little girl One day a grown-up shattered my world He was our neighbor he seemed so kind I had no idea the evil in his dark mind He'd give me candy and buy me neat toys And show me how to beat up on the boys My Mommy and Daddy trusted him so They had no clue who he was though Then one day as I walked past his place I disappeared, gone, without a trace My parents searched, he helped them look Never knowing the treasure he already took I cried and begged for him to not hurt me But he never responded to my desperate plea He locked me up in this deep dark hole I prayed to Jesus to protect my soul I miss my parents, I want them so bad I miss my bed and my big brother Chad I hear someone coming, please be Mommy Please stop him before he really hurts me I hear a loud click, I see a shiny pole I see the white smoke fill up this hole I see a bright light, no longer is it dim The monster who murdered me was.....him
Starving for truth and what lies beyond me, Heavy blockages of electricity run through my body, Static feelings numb my mind, Too much to bear, Just want to wake up and find, The answers, To life, how to battle fears, Keep seeing one day wont be nothing left, Things I have done, Things I've said, Heartaches I've received, Does it all matter? Out of all that has happened, Just want to know one thing, Have I succeeded? Time that passes each day, Waiting, and being patient, Was it for nothing? Dying to know, Thinking my time is up, Should I keep going? Looking for the answers, I may never know, This battlefield will only grow stronger, The fake smiles fades, No more laughter, Will it come a day, I won't ever be afraid? Waking up back in reality, Leaves me drained Now I need to rest.
I don't know where to start When I look around me, I see myself slipping and falling apart I'm drifting… I'm falling away into the dark I'm dealing with stress...and now I hear the dog bark… My eyes open like corridors... my life is a curse When I try to ignore the chaos... the dilemma gets worse and worse I'm failing... I'm yearning for peace to rebuild my courage I'm marinated in turmoil...and I'm close to my breakage Driven insane… I'm wide awake… recollecting my thoughts I'm backing away from any danger coming my way You tossed me in the drain… I'm resting… trying to untangle the knots Overpowering pain… but now I'm losing control… But I'll stop writing today . . .. . .. . .
I need something to lift me up Give me a sign of hope Don't just wish me luck Give me something useful for my mind to grow I've seen stuff I can't erase from my memory I have nightmares when I sleep Being awake is my enemy My battle with depression has me scared, I can't eat I only eat every couple of days So much I struggle to say So I spill my heart, soul, mind and lungs on this page What can be won from this place? Just look at all this kid has seen Lost a close friend at school we were both only fifteen 7 years later I still haven't been able to write a poem about it Will I ever find the right words for her? I doubt it She passed just 2 months after my father died So this brought out my darker side What was I meant to do? Front it out and put on a tough guy act Getting bullied in school and stuck in class Being told I'll end up dead or in jail Like the rest of my family They put it in my head that I'll fail Is it any wonder there's nothing left in my sanity? I'm still living my mistakes As a child I was dying for an example But I wasn't given a break So how can you blame me for flying off the handle? I was so lonely and depressed I became best friends with a blade I apologise to anyone I offend on this page I just need to get this off my chest I got addicted to the sight of my blood But no one could see the stains Living a life with no love So i fell in love with the pain I always covered it up Making sure my tops have long sleeves Didn't have my father or mother in touch The 2 people every child needs There's no such thing as damage control It's a case of how much you can manage to hold Until it all builds up and you self destruct Because it wouldn't vanish or go Every girl I date seems to think sex will heal my heart But it's deeper than that I'm not shallow So all I have is my scars And my shadow I'm only 22 but i feel so much older Family of druggies and drunks so i remain drug-free and sober I can't be like them Please, don't make me like them Is it wrong to admit I'm stuck? That I need help? That I can't do it by myself? I just need something to lift me up
There is a stranger leaning against the light post And a black cat on the stoop. A shadow in the window And a menacing laugh swirling in the breeze. Everything I see is in black and white And there are no flowers or smiles to be seen. What is this place, and what has happened here? But I know the answer. This is my home, after it was taken over by the Dark One. He has banished all color, forbidden all happiness, and emptied our pocketbooks. So now we, who were once happy and employed are no miserable and unemployed, With just barely enough pennies to pay the bills. But the Dark One doesn't care; He'll continue to take over, until we are all on our knees in the street Begging for mercy and lower taxes. Because we all hate the Dark One who has intruded our lives and broken into our homes. The Dark One is most unwelcome. The Dark One is the Great Depression.
I try hard, to make you understand So we can remain friends- hand in hand But as time moves on it all fades away And I'm left, the inadequate fool Often I find I cannot repress these tears at night I fear I'm losing you my best friend...and the darkness drowns the light I wish to hold onto what we had, for you to stay But I am nothing but the useless inadequate tool I cannot make you laugh, or smile, the way I used too I am nothing now, I cannot do Broken and forgotten I wonder alone Every night I cry because, despite what you say, I have lost you I was pushed aside and abandoned for those far superior Outside helplessly flailing I am merely a memory; I the inferior Never wanting you to be afraid or hurt, I am left on my own And there is now nothing I can do There was never anything that could be done Her venomous words: "NO ONE cares...NO ONE likes you" Hold a truth so vile and scarring it adds to my worthless The stinging echos, "ALL your friends FAKE IT" Burn a pain that will never heal....CAN never heal Flighty psalms of devastating torture continue As you; my hope, my light and saving grace, flee from me Making every false glory, every spoken slice across the skin More true than a haunting scream that deafens my ears "YOU ARE NOTHING" I cannot shake her from me She resides within the dying fragments of my mind Where light ceases to exist and darkness births the desire to kill I cannot be anything good and therefore you cannot save me "You are NOTHING" I am nothing "YOU are WORTHLESS" I am worthless I have nothing to live for All my friends are fake-- Oh please do not let it be so! I know my inadequate life can never amount to yours I know I can never be anything spectacular but I implore you! Dearest friend please to not let this darkness consume me! Erase her from my memory; clear all doubt! Don't let me lose you in this chaotic chasm of fear My flighty mind and eye flit about in a haze of never ending doubt Thrown down in deplorable silence, drenched it full blood self-hatred I am nothing, I am worthless.... I am inadequate Often I find I cannot repress these tears at night I fear I'm losing you my best friend...and the darkness drowns the light I wish to hold onto what we had, for you to stay But I am nothing but the useless inadequate tool Selfishly I clung to you as life line-for I had no other And the she crushed me...she stabbed me...when I thought she could be another I, the inferior, am naught to the superior and I fade away I –the inferior-- am the worthless nobody...the inadequate fool
Why is it I am always wrong? Something I have always done? Why is it I am Never good enough In your eyes In challenging times? How many times Do I have to say "I love You?" What will it take To convince That mind And Heart Of yours? What can I say That will ease This jealousy And Resentment You feel towards me When drinking Too much booze Killing what brain cells Are left In that stubborn Head of yours! How long Will it take For you To believe in me? For I know I am a fool Staying here, with you! Feeling desperate Lost and lonely Dreams squashed Emotionally drained When 'we' need to pull together In union ship To make This bond strong Between us! 'Uniting as One'' 'Love Conquering All' "Well!" "So, I am told!" I love you more Than this Arguing and fighting! But You refuse to understand The love I have for you My head Tells me to stay with you But My heart knows I cannot! For I have asked you To be kind to me I have asked You to open up Your anger and rage Continues growing Out of control Taking over Like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Burning bridges Being ruthless Always Out for the kill! I need to break away! I need to clear my head! I need to experience Love and longevity True togetherness With The one's I love! My heart needs to experience 'Healthy Love' My heart deserves the best! You now Belong in my past I am no longer the person You once knew me, to be Your insecurities Your inner demons Far bigger Than any of the love You choose to acknowledge Or Feel from me! You can believe this To be true If nothing else! "Love thy self" Share Without personal gain Being Your Primary Motive! Know Love Be Love, in Action! Be honest Have empathy now As I cut these cords Of emotional bondage That Bind us together True Love No longer Our foundation! I stand on my own Knowing I have learnt the lessons You have come to teach I now know What love isn't! "I thank you" For showing me this! My illusions of love Blinding me Colouring my experiences Revealing Only what 'I Wanted Us To Be' Not 'True Reality'
Salty tears and razor blades The pain drips slowly from my skin Physical pain sets in, emotional pain subsides Then begins again When the pain builds inside I want to escape I want to run I want to hide I can't hide from myself I do this to cope When I'm down low laying broken on the floor Left with no hope In the moment I want to fade the hurt I slash my pride Demean my worth See myself through your eyes It's your distorted perception of me False esteem, iniquitous lies It's not easy living in an unhealthy mind Wrapped in a warped sick self I start to unwind A bawled up knot Frayed at the ends Then I realize when I hurt my self Its to my loved ones I must make amends
Forced into womanhood at 12 betrayed by those you trusted abused daily mentally and physically forced to sleep in the animal shed Your escape was short-lived being captured and returned to your tormentors In the mountain the cruel knife passed on your innocent face No, Aisha that is not cold water in your nose It is your blood Your nose is gone and so are your ears Your tormentors have gone away and left you alone to die But you refused to lay down and die With your defiant spirit you crawled down the mountain to those who cared and protected you and helped you to a new life away from the evil unjust system you inherited by birth What was your crime to be dealt such cruelty?
Madrid it is a hot and sad place. Filled once with music and pretty women now filled with bombs blasting on street corners and old women hovering over their dead husbands. Madrid was once a place of love and culture. Love was full through every hotel lobby to every small cafe, love was all around. Now, nothing but abandoded buildings inhabited by rats and broken dreams. The hotel lobbies once home to rich folk in tuxedos drinking expensive champagne and dancing, now filled with young boys bleeding from bullet wounds and burn't to the bone. Madrid once a home to life now a home to death and war. Fellow Spaniard fighting fellow Spaniard in a Civil War between life and greed. Life was all good and well till 1937 came around.
You left a hole in my heart that nobody can fix I always listen to your favorite songs and look back at old pics You let me be myself by giving me freedom and space You never yelled at me when you were mad, but I could see it in your face You were a pretty quiet guy and enjoyed your time alone You loved fishing, bike riding, and listening to the music on your phone You protected the family by making us feel secure Whenever I was sick you always knew the proper cure You weren't big on doctors or getting help from others You didn't tell anyone you were sick, not even your mother You didn't want people to think you weren't tough You always told Brad and I not to sweat the small stuff Although you didn't show it often, I knew you were so proud of me I loved showing off my grades to you, you never cared when I got a B You wanted me to be happy with whatever I chose to do You never forced me to be a doctor, it is what I choose to pursue We had a special relationship unique to you and I I will never forget kissing you that final goodbye You laid there in peace, with an open mouth and closed eyes No longer breathing, you had finally died I sat there in shock, not knowing what to do I cant believe this was my dad, why did it have to be you? I felt so many emotions that my body felt numb I hope this is something I will one day overcome My heart is in such pain and I am constantly sad I can't believe this happened to my smart, healthy dad This traumatizing experience will never escape my mind I watched how your health gradually declined When you were put on the ventilator, I knew it was bad news It was so scary and painful to see what you were going through I hated that you couldn't talk and that you were heavily sedated I was praying to heaven that you would finally be extubated I jumped for joy when mom called to say the tubes were removed Little did I know that you would never improve So much has changed since all of this occurred When I look back on this experience, it is all a blur
Too much I am inquiring I don't hear a response I use to be inspiring Now the beast haunts Its deep within Unsure of the size I'm afraid I'll sin In the last of my cries It's a little scary And kind of tough My body I barely carry And my happiness I bluff You depict my fate You hold my hand through Let's set a date To bid adieu I'll fight till the end I'll hold my head high I won't bend I'll fight to see a blue sky
I don't want to be here destroying myself But no one else will find me here Alone and in the dark Without even the pleasure of sharing company with time I am all I have because I have lost everything So what can I do when all I know is losing With idle hands made only to tear down all I know And all I have This is who I am I don't want to be here destroying myself But nothing else and no one else is here But me © Janica V. Williams
Day by day. Another look at the gray. Slowly drifting astray. Watch as I decay. Shall we replay?
Exquisite pain Outlive those tears Pictures in rain Black cruor smears Dovey Annie
Eyes look into the mirror Expecting to see truth But only emptiness is reveled Words whispered into the night Echo back screaming In desperation to be heard Arms reach out for comfort Expecting to hold But only the nothingness Returns their embrace A breath of hope Escapes trembling lips But is heard as a sigh Of loneliness and despair A dream ready to be lived But from the nightmare A tortured soul Will never wake
Run away Run Away No matter how Far You will never escape my dark hands of faith Wicked and Damned you are my Sin Darling Don't you Tremble when I embrace you The cold and Dark may fill every marrow But at least there were here For You Tell Me how they So Loved You Tell Me All of your fears When the world is done and all their trust will render Undone I will always be with you And Now We cease to Exist Luciferia I can see your Misery Just follow me and believe Me We are The Damned Outcasts of this Natural World We are The Damned Hold on I'll show you what you're waiting for We Are The Damned Join Our Dark Reality When you know the choice the Wind Will come right through And you will See what you're really meant to Be Draining into the Night Shivering With the Smallest of Frights I am the Ghost In Your Dreams I watch You Through the Window Yes that is your name Written In Blood Are You Scared? Are You Suffering? The Dark fate is what was Meant to Be This is what happens when you Brake Us with Words Destroy us with sights Twists are minds Set our will On Fire I can see your Misery Just follow me and believe Me We are The Damned Outcasts of this Natural World We are The Damned Hold on I'll show you what you're waiting for We Are The Damned Join Our Dark Reality When you know the choice the Wind Will come right through And you will See what you're really meant to Be I can see your Misery Just follow me and believe Me We are The Damned Outcasts of this Natural World We are The Damned Hold on I'll show you what you're waiting for We Are The Damned Join Our Dark Reality When you know the choice the Wind Will come right through And you will See what you're really meant to Be
Black night, black thoughts merging into one No sword shall sever this gordian knot that binds my being in longing and despair My tortured soul cries out filled with a longing to crush the things that torment me so I see them with the mind's eye and would strangle them but they recede into the shadows to mock me anew in ripened time But now let my soul be at rest even for a fleeting moment for I am finally free Free! The very sound is music to my ear filling the mind with such fantasies that leap to the heavens and leaves me panting just alive As a man who is spent I rest and waves of gentleness flood my soul The thought of a tender kiss the smell of a rose, Jove's nectar soothes my being and sets my soul at ease to gather up courage to face another day (wrote this at a dark period in my life in my 20s)
If time were distance Then I would be bounding hard Minutes turning to miles And an over saturated face Turning to tears which burst for The crushed bones in my feet That fall into line, keeping me Just above the ground and the dirt that I had fallen in And moving away, away, away… My distance is time And my distance is down And I am under water With a surface that's always too many strokes away Like a tired night which begins at dawn And swallows the day With a sickly, unrepentant stomach So I swallow my regret Covering my red skin with fig leaves So then, maybe then god won't see But more importantly, So I won't see where I am headed Or rather, where I will never be Emotions flee But not as quickly as me And I will get out No matter how tightly life holds Because distance makes me old And I would rather run the time out Of a life that is going nowhere fast then accept a life that turns me to stone A life that makes me die and cry One swallow, one embrace, One broken heart at a time
something in the air called loneliness makes me do things that are disguised as outlets my heart does the thinking for my brain and the brain does the beating for my heart thinking that it is all a recipe for renovation is actually a blueprint for surefire disaster i laugh at my own jokes as i lie to myself knowing that something is wrong and that the pain is obviously there something starts to fall as i imagine a hand that i so long to hold and the beauty that i so yearn to see puzzles in my mind cannot be put together in any type of strategic way and board games in my heart can never be won in any type of masterful fashion knowing this, i just go on with my head held high trying to mask the raging sorrow that i feel for myself repetition is like a pill you intentionally take after the expiration date's expiration seduction is like a laxative that starts working in the heart of a long-awaited exploration i wish i could christen myself at my own rededication, but a voice ever so unhealthy for me continuously asserts its persistence to give me medication unfocused with no hint of even a smidgen of a goal, i kindly follow blindly....
Blame. The very word creates acid on every tongue that speaks it. its dark and clumped, forming a giant ball of black sticky goo. It layers itself on the skin of every body that is blamed for a wrong they did not do. a crime that they did not commit. It's a song that impales those who play the keys on a piano. A morbid song that slays the hearts of lovers in the night. Its a siren who sings like the lark of the morning sun, shining her wings, revealing the diamond glow they bring upon themselves, she sings her out of tune lyrics luring men towards her grace. disguising her ugliness, with an appalling attractive face. She is blame. Luring men into her claws, caressing them sweetly, cursing and confusing and corrupting their minds; bringing shame upon them. Such trickery is a mask, a dark veil that covers the eyes and prevents the sight. blocking out any sort of light. she comes out of the dark and tortured night, bringing with her, her dark fame. For every human male knows her as strega; fulfilling her dark quest is a shame, yet, it is she who does not hold in her ;cold, raw claws; the blame.
Trapped inside, a living hell, waiting silently, for the final bell, let me be, I have no choice, you wouldn't understand, had I a voice, invisible to everyone, mocked by all, in a cage. left to fall, but fear not, I've come to accept, the cruelty of life, you'd never expect, just remember the lie, I let you all see, remember the girl, you thought was me...
The time is coming the dead will soon rise and devour your family before you own eyes. The forgotten wizard tired of a life in caves made a dark pact for the power he craves. Zombie and vampires from their grave. A lone warrior stands, Whos destiny is to save. With sword and shield he places his faith. With a stab and a hack he fought the beasts back but he is hurt badly and all fades to black stone walls and little light he woke with a fright and tried to stand in vain he was hurt and fell to the pain. He was in a chapel to the wise god where he prayed to him for help he was granted shining armor and sword His mighty god made him to smite the whelp The undead were strong but he was a hoss he killed them all and showed demons who's boss blade in hand he made his way to the massive dark tower where the necromancers stay He rallied the soldiers The barbarians and thieves the mages and assassins armed to their sleeves. He made his own army their might was astounding the battle began with each strike resounding They fought with all their hearts stabbing and sliceing and putting to use their magical arts. put an end to most of the plauge But the leader of this blight in the very tip top made another demonic rite. he killed the whole army except for one. The blessed one stood immune to it all his armor scratched, his shield long lost, his sword bloodied alone he stood tall The Paladin from now he would be known The wizards fear stood true. he cast his spell to little effect he was soon run through his soul then was claimed. Beaten and wounded in the worst way. he walk out of the tower into morning light he fell to his knees and began to pray for his army, his brothers, his men may the gods above to take them all in Again all things went black he was gone this time there was no coming back he sat next to the gods in the sky everyone rejoiced and everyone cried the darkness was gone and many lived and just as many had died They saved the day and yet lived on in a way the songs sang and tales told The paladin was brave the paladin was bold the paladin was a savior for the young and the old
It's always nice to call a friend When life starts drawing to an end Maybe you should wait a day Always find much more to say But should you just forget to phone You might find that you're all alone Yet other things I start to find Many friends have lost their mind Not that they are off the wall They all have problems when I call Some just can't hear Some aren't well It's really hard For me to tell Some have no mate A sorry state Other know they reached their last All recall A long lost past For them each day's a living hell All's not good All's not well
Bleeding Love Curled in a ball Not knowing what to do! Knees against my chest Cradling oneself 'Soothing my soul' Memories of you Flooding my brain Your words Left as lingering whispers Your smile Imprinted, upon my mind's eye High light of my day! Electrifying my nervous system Jump starting my heart Punishing me For loving you 'Bleeding love'
God will never forget what you've done, God will always remember your faults. He'll forgive you someday, No doubts in that, but For the pain that you caused You will be paying through life, Every day, every night, every second, Every beat of the time You will pay for the grief that You brought to my life.
Silently I scream In utter distress. No one hears, But it helps, none the less. Silently I cry Without shedding tears The sobs of sorrow, No one hears. Silently I relive My terrible past. I'll scream and cry, Then smile at last.
little child come out and play Ill be your master innocent little boy My little son I rape with my eyes On your flesh i will eat "you raped me" I feel dirty "I screamed" No one heard me "You hit me" I'm not a liar "My God" Why your own child? It's Alright You yelled and screamed at me Told mom you didn't touch me there She sat there watching You've messed with my brain You have stolen my life Remember i'm your son "you raped me" I feel dirty "I screamed" No one heard me "You hit me" I'm not a liar "My God" Why your own child? I didn't touch you there Mommy said she didn't care That's why she stopped at starred I'm not the liar son You are YOU RAPED ME IT HURT AS A CHILD I SCREAMED NO ONE HEARD ME MY GOD I'M NOT A LIAR!
The feeling I feel Is as dark as space I don't know how to deal With such an endless place. My thoughts seem to overcome All that is over me I feel that I am strucked dum For the world to see. These feelings of mine Are deeper than any sea or ocean With darkness combine Creates and endless motion. I am in an endless cycle Of darkness and depression That I can not battle In each of my sessions. Every time I move forward The hole gets deeper and deeper I try to look outward But the light becomes dimmer and dimmer. I feel completely buried With no way out And very wearied with out a doubt. I want to scream for help But no one will hear me For the dirt chokes my throat So I will never be set free. By: Fotu S Taeoalii
Bad luck could hit hard… It's difficult to catch a flash of glory… Unfortunately, we end up with the wrong side of the coin It's tricky to snatch eternal glee… I wish I could increase your motivation and prove your significance But I have none that I own – you made a big impact on me believe it or not I want to grant you success…or I'll let God work His magic I have the passion to accomplish my jubilant goals – I just got to be energized… Be strengthened and have self-reliance I prey upon confidence… I pray for your dreams to fall into place… I have no choice, but to find my way out of this labyrinth… OUT OF THIS MESS… Suffocating me in harsh distress… Dissatisfaction could shatter your hope We are fading… we're fragments Escalating ferociously… It's almost impossible to remain at ease during these hard times… Fortunately, we have a chance to be on the right side of the coin The most difficult part of living is… Dealing with the outrageous crimes Bad luck Is totally a morbid result in life's situations… I believe that you could endure The catastrophe that burnt up your Last drop of courage… What a tragedy you turned out to be… Your morbid luck drained out your bliss And inflated you with squalid misery… Your morbid luck dragged you Into the abyss………
It is dreadfully bitter The taste of my imprudence A brackish reminder Bubbling acrid froth Impossible To choke back Aftershocks heave and pitch my Shaky foundation Acid courses over My Dreams Destroying hope of Amaranthine love The brine erodes each stone So well Etches them with its indifferent regard Leaving me a caustic cocktail To slake a ruthless thirst Nothing is sweet Everything Burns Dreams are best left for dreamers I will gather stones for my foundation
This anger that is inside me now is tearing me apart, After all this time I find you had been lying from the start. I am hurting so much from the pain you have caused me, By using your beauty and charm so I would not see. All the lies and deceit while loving you and giving all my trust, I will expose your evil ways and mean doings this is a must. Never should another endure what you have put me through, This I will make sure of if it's the last thing that I ever do. How dare you break my heart and then treat me so bad , It takes a lot to upset me but girl you have made me mad. You've no idea the rage that I am carrying inside me now, I will make you regret this one day I will figure out how. If it's the last thing I do I am going to make a example of you, How and when I am not sure of but trust me it will be soon. You walk away from me as if you've done nothing wrong, Believe me girl I will show you and it wont take me long. Seriously do you think you can get away with treating me this way? So wrong you are for that and you will know this one day. That deceiving the man thats so in love with you , Is something you are going to learn not to ever do. Why would you ever do this to a man that loved you so, I guess this is something that I am never going to know. This anger inside that is slowly tearing me apart , Blinded by your ways I was completely in the dark. Just one more thing I must say to you before I go , You are evil and that's something everybody will know. TAC
Approaching the solitary window, Cold bites deep to my veins, The belongings to the window's innards, Crack out wards, light up my way. The glowing warmth and smell of it's doorway, Invites you, to the 'All Night Café'. Breath lightly on the window, Cold wind catches it hard, One moment caught from moving, All sense of feeling barred. Huddled in the corner, mug of tea to hand, Covered in rags is the resemblance of man. He has no knowledge of his surroundings, Which have treated him so severe, He keeps on hiding from us nightly, With yet one more pint of beer. See sweat filled walls look down on solitary man, Sits crumpled and worn, preserves what dignity he can. Wind leathered face, stiffens disgrace. Unshaven, unclean. Visible and smelling are the places he's seen. Look into his eyes, they are swollen brown, The darkness of which match only his frown. His cheekbones in contrast, stand out proud, Skin, clinging thinly, as his corpses constant shroud. Decide to move in closer, having been unnoticed inside, The staff sit living in the kitchen, where from such reality they hide. Still, he sits coldly, as I, invading his space, My form forever lowering, stops, opposite expressionless face. For a moment my attention is taken, by a voice high ticking on the wall, It's face forever changing, one day it too must fall. Outside howling, the wind is crying to get in, Starts kicking at the doorway, raising the noise to a din. There is laughter in the back now, as the clock it strikes one, Everyone seems to be saying, "life must go on". Turn back to the table, my friend has a tear in his eye, All the lonely people in the world, yet nobody answers why. Reach out to touch him, then all I wipe is on glass,
A barren mistress I will be, All alone to sit and weep, My sole to ashes and heart to dust, I will live on I know I must. All I wanted was a happy life, I never knew it would be this price! No more illusions of lifelong bliss. How could my love have come to this? I love this man with all I am, And yet he sees me as a sham, I don't know what I am meant to do, To prove to him my love is true. I hope one day he will see, Just how much he means to me, I never want to see this end, But on his words does this depend.
Into a vortex chemically unbalanced, Soft velvety dark smooth to the touch. My heart broken asunder my Souls' pain enhanced, All darkness Inverted oh so much. Soft velvety dark smooth to the touch, Outside reality searching space. All darkness Inverted oh so much, I hear the call of ancient race. Outside reality searching space, Searching out for ancient rune. I hear the call of ancient race, Before a cold lonely winter moon. Searching out for ancient rune, Weeping starlight crystal light. Before a cold lonely winter moon, Cold desolation In the night. Weeping starlight crystal light, Always watching In silver shadows. Cold desolation In the night, As cold as old ancient barrows. Always watching In silver shadows, Rising spirit of the old mountain dew. As cold as old ancient barrows, An ancient calling beckoning you. Rising spirit of the old mountain dew, Playing haunting tunes. An ancient calling beckoning you, Casting musical runes. Playing haunting tunes, Drunken on the old Celtic pipes. Casting musical runes, By ancient Arrachs' stripes. Drunken on the old Celtic pipes, Enchanting magic sings. By ancient Arrachs' stripes, The ancient Celts she brings. Enchanting magic sings, Happiness a virtue of Joy In heart. The ancient Celts she brings, The glory of ancient days ne'er part. Happiness virtue of joy In heart, Breathing In sighs deeply linger. The glory of ancient days ne'er part, Kept alive by sorrows' timeless finger. Breathing In sighs deeply linger, Staring off Into a horizon distant. Kept alive by sorrows' timeless finger, My timeless sorrow runs consistant. Staring off Into a horizon distant, Beautiful salted fresh air echoes. My timeless sorrow runs consistant, Now my grieving thought upon you flows. Beautiful salted fresh air echoes, Churning waves whispering silver cherished memories. Now my grieving thought upon you flows, As I receive waves' memory deliveries. Churning waves whispering silver cherished memories, Rocked over so gently under a crescent moon. As I receive waves' memory deliveries, As Celtic music plays Its ancient tune. Rocked over so gently under a crescent moon, Your bright light touches one vision. As Celtic music plays Its ancient tune, My heart weeps In Its derision. Your bright light touches one vision, Standing out most beautiful lady. My heart weeps In Its derision, As warm before me you stand In glory. A Collaboration by Liam Mcdaid & Michael Clarke.
as time passes by; like word born on the streets, you never knew hard, till it hits you deep within. even if there is pain without the tears, it doesn't mean it's any less of a struggle to forget. hard aches on heartaches, resentment is hard to leave by when the regret is there. sublime tears that echoes and tears you up inside, meanwhile, I try not to stray from my true nature!!! vibration of a cry that is not too well played out; pound per pound, restless beatings of my chest, leaves a residue of unsound sorrow that marks the epitamy of being alone, which is never too easy. like a melody that is deaf with tone, cheating destiny has no future in it. I am forever standing still in the sands of time, like time has made me a mark of inequities. no right direction to go from where I'm left off; but just to look for the easiest way out! still doesn't justify the reason of my situation. out of the mourning dew: I try to stay awake........ still, I miss missing the way we are!!!
The shaking starts as I think of our past together, as the mental machinery shudders into action, an organic search engine that chews through the years looking for clues, as my heart shudders in rhythm I choke on these very words, as they run from my heart onto the page, my tears, the salty lubricant keeping the wheels of torment spinning in my head, churning out these feelings that will not seem to abate Our pain was like an avalanche, crashing and smashing everything that lived on the mountainside of our life together, until it finally obliterated the tiny place of hope that we'd built at the bottom It sits there now, the detritus of a love left out in the cold too long; frozen to reduce the risk of fire, a fire that had burned out so long before, that even the sparks of tragedy could no longer set it alight A wrecking ball of anguish, the agony of two damaged souls clinging to one another for so long, that they'd pulled the skin off in those spots where their fingers had clutched at the others battered heart Perhaps it would have been easier for one to have ripped the heart from the other, straight away, ripped it bloody and beating from their chest so as to sooner end this unending flood of torment for both I cannot bear to look at the smoking pile of emotional debris that remains, lying atop the memories that were hurtled to the bottom, to be buried once and forever; only to keep poking out in the light And yet, I must look; I can't look away, guilt won't let me turn my face fully to the light; what if/what if, my brain asks, when my thoughts turn quiet in the night, questions the mind strings like a boolean algorithm Do you cry still, when you hear the roar in your dreams? Have you found a new memory to dream of, or are your dreams now, of the other side of the mountain, where, with hope, a new fire is being lit? I pray that you aren't still looking, as I am, at the underside of your soul, searching for answers that may never be found, for reasons, when there are none but the winds of fate that blew us together
So Broke It Hurts! O' debt where is thy wicked and terrible sting sold already are my watch and gold ring Creditors waiting so patiently at my front door hopes of making a truly great score! Fridge quite empty and cupboard so damn bare wife stole it all, even my old grey mare Banker called, warned me I am five grand overdue a dozen more crying they going to sue! Woke early this morn with a wallet quite flat this far down sure isn't where it's at Car taken away last week due to failure to pay power turned off this cold, miserable day No bright side to all this poor, sad calamity even lost my pride and all my humanity Now so poor , can not even pay attention so broke even my dog is held in detention! Robert L. 05-23-2014 I wrote this back in my early twenties. A rewrite from memory since it was one of my poems in the three journals my first ex-wife burned for spite! Five long years I worked average 80 and 90 hour weeks to regain that which I lost in that sad divorce.. Learned what don't kill ya makes ya stronger!! Can laugh about it now but back then it was pure misery! If you've never been there thank your lucky stars or blessings!
In the woods wonders a fool, He walks along a sorrowful path. His soul has fallen beneath the rule of a vengeful woman's wrath. He begs forgiveness from the dark, For that is all who can hear his cries. Even his shadow refuses to hark, as the tears flow from his eyes. With his heart she stole the good, and crumbled it into the dirt. As he begged, broken he stood, wishing for a way to stop the hurt. No second chances, no more tries. She couldn't forgive him once more No amount of tears nor alibis, could wash away the bottles on the floor. He sipped past his final excuse, He lost her love now once for all. Now he walks to a lonely noose, Haunted by the demons call. Love has turned her face away the pain now takes control. There were no silver words to say, That could pay this poor fools toll. As he wanders deep and deeper his sorrow is overthrown by rage. Now as he awaits the reaper, his heart is stabbed within its cage. Addiction has poisoned and made him ill It's blackened his heart and stolen his sight His anger it boils and readies to kill, Demons have awoken in his heart tonight. A transformation has taken place, tonight a monster has been born. An evil slithers across his face, flowing from where his heart was torn. In the woods awaits an angry fool, love has left him and he rots in pain. He hates the living like an evil ghoul, and death runs through his every vein. In the dark by damnation's gate He sits alone and lingers. waiting for that woman's fate to fall into his fingers. He wants her to look into his eyes, and fear what she has created. He wants to kiss her as she dies, and whisper why he's waited. He wants his life to be rebuilt, He wants the heart that she stole He wants to be free of the guilt, He wants to regain his soul.
How can I define to you in a rhyme My pain, melodically, nurtured by time How can I make anyone feel what I feel When all I know are lies, how can I make this real Let me bring you down with me As we walk through the fires, tell me what you see Give me 18 years to destroy your worth I'll be in your brain til you regret your birth Let me throw you to the lions blindfolded Stand your ground, see how long you can hold it Let me sully all that surrounds you You'll thank God for the worst you've been through Only when your life hinges on hiding like I hid Will you be capable of knowing pain like I did
Once here Now dead & gone "What am I known for, this time round?" I exist only as a memory now A memory that fades, over time "Who will remember me, when I am gone?" No one knew me Yet people will say they knew me, so well! A laugh, how often people think "they are experts" Yet, really Know nothing at all! "How well did you know the inside of me?" For, if I was to ask... "What is my favourite colour?" Or, "what's my favourite song?" I listen for answers...none come "What's my favourite food to eat?" Complete silence... I could hear a pin drop Round...about...now! "Do these questions fall upon deaf ears?" For I ask... "Who truly knew me?" "What am I known for?" "Who will remember me?" When I am dead & gone
Your name like arsenic burning my throat A slow death, thinking of you, will bring to me Your words so sincere, sugar coated placebo What was it? A change in mind? A change in heart? Or your mischevious ways. You wear a mask An emotional blanket used to keep your prey warm before you rip them open and feed on there heart. Staring into your eyes i felt warm, wanted A fog in your gaze makes everything unclear your voice soft and alluring, reassuring. your smile comforting my eye site is blurring your silent poison is taking control The smoke of your words lingure my mind A big jumble of sweet lies Im addicted and im not the only one you feed off the attention you look for Your like a dark fog that takes the form of a white angel Whinding me threw the unknown grounds of my imagination a quite twisting path in the land of love and sourenity but under every wanted happyness lies a dark secret The ground we walk is truely dead grass, dead emotion, and dead people Tombstones row by row Your just leading me to the 6 foot hole youve been draining my heart into
Walk Away Knock on the door See who answers Will you like The face you see Is it pain Sad memories Close the door How do you feel Lost and sad Nowhere to go Turn away What does it mean It means you are walking out on me. By: Tim Lundmark
A play on words is said, Lying in your bed, Always feeling dead, Stand and shake your head, Don't look at what bled. The words you meant to keep, Never let them hear you speak, All a constant bleak, Show you are not meek, Look in to the world and shriek. Don't let your feelings show, Keeping silent hidden low, Hide from all you owe, Spill all that was in tow, Tell them "No!" Hide who you are, Held back from afar, Life like tar, Wield your scar, Break free from your mar.
The pain is too much, I can't take it anymore, It makes me want to fall, Straight through the floor. I've held it inside me, For far too long, I'm tired of being told, That everything I do is wrong. The first time was an accident, But I'll do it again, Even though I know, Cutting is a sin. I hold the blade in my hand, Swipe it across my skin, I see the blood come pouring out, I think I found a new friend. You may not believe me, But I don't feel the pain, Even though the blood, Pours like the rain. When I see the blood, Coming from the cut, I feel the pain leaving, For my eyes are now shut. I finally found something, I can control, I know when to stop, I control the flow. When the blood leaves me, Other things do as well, The pain and heartache, There's no more to tell.
To live ones life in a dark shadow, Is like living where there is no other soul. Being alone, frightened, upset, Fearful of dying someday. Living in pain and agony each day. Pain, deep torturous pain that rips Apart ones feelings and eats away at the heart. Fearing the days that one has to live through. Wondering will I wake up tomorrow morning And live another day? Or will I die peacefully in my sleep tonight? Thank God for giving me another day- Another chance. I hate the devil for making my days Torturous and dreadful. I despise him for not letting me live my life. I cry each night and day. I look for a friend, I look for a stranger, No one is around. No one but my feelings and the dark shadows That haunt me day and night. I deal with my pain every day, But I have learned to deal with What I have to go through, And now I must go on knowing There is no turning back.
The sick sadistic people that torture the kid Thinking of thoughts to fascinating in sin Hiding behind a stature of loneliness he hates A time warp in his chest it elates Swaying through time with no cause or mentality He don't want to feel like a congenital abnormality Piercing his mind with no anesthesia Mind caught in the lake of amnesia Grasping towards another minoral fate Sometimes in this bygone world its too late Suffering a wraith in his vivacious serenity So sad and unaware with no amenity This boy has suffered for a time of days Like most diverse and beseeching in many ways But tampered with is his lamp of time Puppet strings in his head now a mime The prescription of happiness is a lie Bury the darkness as a maggot one day be a fly This is the torture of a teen so young Now no speech they take your tongue Its over Its over Slit it in his own health Slayed down for his enlightened death....
A Man Cries (Tear) Runs down my face (Tear) Broken This I clearly see Broken However it may be Broken (Tear) I like to fix things that are broken (Tear) How do you fix whats broken (Tear) If it doesnt accept it is broken (Tear) This is the problem The problem that plagues me This is the problem The reason for the tears This is the problem The conundrum that I face This is the problem The pain that makes me weep This is the problem (Tear) I cry because I care (Tear) I cry because I fear (Tear) I cry because your broken (Tear) I cry because I cant fix you (Tear) I cry because you dont want me to (Tear) These tears I cry in darkness These tears I cry in light These tears I cry in sorrow These tears I cry in hate These tears I cry in agony These tears I cry in all my might These tears I cry (Tear) I cant stop crying (Tear) I really wish I could (Tear) I am a man (Tear) But men truly do cry too (Tear) These tears I shed (Tear) I shed them here for you (Tear) I shed these tears because your broken and I cant fix you no matter how I try (Tear)
Take off the ARMOR OF GOD! Remove the BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS! Throw away the SHIELD OF FAITH! Forget the TRUTH OF GOD'S WORD! Let's do what we want to do in our dark secret world, at our dark secret place, at our own selfish pace. Let's make our own choices. Let's listen to our own voices. Let's act by the power of OUR might. It doesn't have to be right. Let's do it anyway. Let's go astray. And when we leave that darkness and face family and friends, They'll never know about our dark place or of our dark secret sins. We will not worry about the consequences. We are fully protected by Satan's fences. And if we die in our sinful state, Hell has an open gate. NOTE: +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ POEM is based on these scriptures: Ephesians 6:10-12: Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
Where are you this night, Serenity? With plains of dying tears Crusting upon the soaked lashes Deep bleeding heart aches Painfully laden with twisted betrayal Sharp you are this night Serenity Words piercing like swords Wrapped in flames, scorching Glossy eyes reflect a pain that cannot be fabricated Stacked glass crashes over Lacerating with your poison, Stinging words Collect in a crimson puddle Where have you gone this night, Serenity? Yearning for your touch, screaming in agony Still your cruel frame dances away from- The beauty of you ever more increasing with burning lust Why do you evade this night, Serenity? How can one know their worth, when others see no value What must one do to befriend you, The inexorable temptress Vicious attacks that tear Brutally puncturing the vitality My vitality My life And you've destroyed it all Where have you gone this night- Serenity? ---- Written: May 11, 2014
Sometimes I feel like falling, Or drowning in the rain, Sometimes I feel like cutting, To see her face again. The Shadows of a darker mind, Twist, confuse and lie, I never did understand why she had to die, I see her face in haunting dreams, Or looking back at me, She seems to root me to the ground, When all I want is to flee. Her morbid beauty chases me, Like vulchers around meat, Her stone cold ear upon my chest, To cocxe my finel beat, Amogst this all is one smart ray, A dimond in the mist, That hold me close to take away, The razor at my wrist, The dark and light confuse my brain, There never ending war, Mother I love you and always will, But James I love you more.
Heartbeat-- Life begins. The Genesis Of a new person. Eyes blink-- The child sees. He tastes the world. He explores and learns. Heartbreak-- Bitterness Innocence lost The child turns to man. Heart torn-- Man forgets The joys of life. He sinks in shadow. Heart stops-- One moment Before Death comes To see life is short.
Standing out most beautiful lady, Warmly Inside strutting In the darkest hours. As warm before me you stand In glory, A Rose you were among so many flowers. Warmly Inside strutting In the darkest hours, Following the path of ones heart. A Rose you were among so many flowers, You the moons' wonder from the start. Following the path of ones heart, I am scared and angry yet truly sorry. You the moons' wonder from the start, You left me grieving cold and lonely. I am scared and angry yet truly sorry, My heart broken asunder my Souls' pain enhanced. You left me grieving cold and lonely, Into a vortex chemically unbalanced.
I scream, at the top of my lungs No sound, comes out Silent, curdling screams Is, all I have left, now I wrestle; I fight, with all, my physical might While, being forced down By the mighty strength, of many men The pungent smells of dirt, sweat and grime Embed, in my senses Their ghastly hot breathes; making me, want to puke! Their hands, all over me Constantly grabbing and groping me Hollering and cheering each other on Then, someone punches me Someone, I cannot see A large man's hand, covers my nose and mouth Muffling my soulful cries, terrifying, my insides! I can't breathe, now! Many heavy handed blows, follow In a blurry haze I watch, my scarlet red blood splatter Upon the snow white sheets, that surround My sacred blood spilled My salty tears mixed in with sticky men's semen My body, a raging torrent of scorching hot lava Lulling into a translucent, entranced state Surrendering, to the primal, animalistic frenzy The men, taking what they want, anyway they want it Devouring every morsel left ,of my weak and weary body My body fighting, for its God given right To live, now! My life flashes before my eyes The sounds around me begin to fade My eyes glaze over, my body goes limp My body betraying me, when I need her the most! Silently, I pray for this is not my will, but their own "Have mercy upon these souls" "Please forgive these men, as I do, now "My love remains with you, heavenly Father" Blackened tears of jet black mascara Weave their way down Through the bloody crevasses, of my black & blued skin My body used up, a lifeless vessel, totally numb! My innocence and dignity stripped! No one, can save me, the worst is done! Bashed, beaten, worn I am nothing, no more...
In desperation of solitude, Sanity struggles to stay afloat. Dark clouds descend on paradise lost, Escape disappears, madness provoked. Shadows dancing under the pale moon, Mischievous silhouettes on the walls. In the company of misery, An unsympathetic world revolves. Tragedy collects inside her quill, Trembling in her delicate hand. Tears streaming onto crumpled pages, Unseen words bleed onto her nightstand. Child of darkness, product of sorrow, A fallen star abandoned by Hope. Haunted by the desecrated ghosts, Past secrets sealed in an envelope. Despair magnified by cold silence, Stories untold, forgotten memoirs. Drawn towards the pale light of the moon, Alone she rides, shepard of the stars.
Burning up Torn apart "I have had enough!" Jaded, by your words & thoughts Deepest, darkest parts of my heart Drowning in my own tears and sorrow "What have you done to me?" "I can't function, any more!" Messed up love!
THE OLD MAN AND THE BUTTERFLY How many wishes and hopes pass through a man's mind? This is what I am thinking about while looking into the sad face of an old man who is motionlessly starring into the distance, as if down there, in the blue eye of the dreamy sea he shall find all the answers. And while the turquoise hands of the moon drive the shadows into the old man's embrace, a turquoise butterfly merrily flaps its wings and radiates rays of light along the dark ridges of this warm summer night above his trembling tired head. Perhaps this is the reason why the old man's sad face looks up instead of down, why the sparkle of life still glows in his tired eyes. This butterfly is very young, but his noble parentage is very old, and that noble parentage used to spread its turquoise light in the times of the old man's parents and grandparents, back in the time when hope was born (and people say that hopes are younger than solitude). It seems that the old man feels it, and he raises his tired eyes whenever he hears the harmonious sound of the butterfly's turquoise wings, and death, like a dark lady, respectfully waits for its turn, as if it took pity on the old man's boyish gaze; How many wishes and hopes pass through a man's mind while he helplessly sits and waits for death? I wonder where his thoughts are traveling now and which soul in heaven do they touch? His mother's soul? His father's soul? His brother's and sister's souls? Because souls are like butterflies, crawling the earth with people, only to eventually fly up to the sky, perfectly free and magically bright. All of this must be passing through the old man's thoughts while he looks at the turquoise butterfly in such a childish and lively manner. Everything on him is dead, apart from that childish gaze, which makes his old man's thoughts so young and so full of hope that his soul might soon enough fly up like his dear butterfly; How many wishes and hopes pass through a man's mind; yes, Lord, how many wishes and hopes are passing my old father's mind now. ©Walter William Safar
As resentment attacks our pale soul, We sit in the dark surrounded by confusion, We start to think about this dark sorrowful life, And we feebly face our sinful feelings, As resentment attacks our pale soul, Our quivering bodies run away from themselves, Trying to find somewhere to hide, But sadness conceals all safety, As resentment attacks our pale soul, Ashen, the world becomes, The colors of joy are washed by our pessimism, And dimness builds a cage of tears around us, As resentment attacks our pale soul, Loneliness drenches the air we breathe, We inhale the torment into ourselves, Suffering between the lonely arms around us, As resentment attacks our pale soul, We are broken pieces lying on the ground, Feeling the pain seep through our veins, We try to hold our last breath, As resentment attacks our pale soul, We try to alleviate the pain we feel, By bleeding ourselves into more agony, Painfully, we will have to Swallow the taste of resentment…
All this anguish in my heart, Conflict tears my sole apart, The pain I feel does not compare, To the loss I feel when she's not there. I wish so much to hold her close, If not her then her ghost, Each day goes by in a clouded mist, Another razor at my wrist, The days are bright and pretty birds sing, Yet in my head their voices ring, Blinded by this misery, So confused it baffles me! Maybe one day we shall meet again, I hope that's when the pain will end, But for now I sit and cry, Because we had to say good bye.
Please somebody save my soul I need somebody to take control Take me back to a place I know I'm not sure of the way to go But don't rush me take it slow I may need space to grow Help me to make it home This is too much for me to face alone Even though I thought I could If I wasn't so distraught I would My life has been short of love Why didn't I have support from blood? Is this why I have trouble accepting people? Why did my mum and dad prefer drink? Why is my brother injecting needles? Tell me what do you first think? This is why I could never make it home Somebody save my soul I'm trying to be strong I'm fighting Please don't tell me I'm wrong for writing It's my only means to survive I'm so open about What others would be keen to hide My pain has broken out I could no longer keep it inside my heart I had to let it go I could no longer hide my scars Please don't let it put you off getting close I'm not a bad person It shouldn't take a while to see I just need a little nursing So much to say but I sit silently I don't know where I'm heading Please take me back to a place I know Waking from a nightmare I'm sweating Somebody please save my soul
the soft breeze of a newborn tree, blowing softly in the spring, so young and impressionable, and easily swayed. singing a song so simple soon to be changed, flowers around and good in its heart, thinking in only the present and now, wondering what the world is like, wishing for knowledge it will not like, weeds around its pretty roots, whispering words of abuse, its learning things so obscene, seeing actions cruel and mean, knowing now its evil truth, the trees blossoms turn to leaves. Seasons change and summers here, the tree ignores its ugly fears, its growing oh so steadily, questioning all it sees, knowing now of all the lies, seeing things it dose despise, wondering how Gandhi closed his eyes, and turned his back on this, experiencing death first hand, losing friends that don't come back, still learning what he had to know, his brain hurting from what it holds, its pushing him not to live, instead slowly fade a wiser way, his leaves change different shades. he stays away, from earth these days, as fall is changing his ways, he only talks to worthy things, that understand the world isn't what it seems, he wishes he was simple minded, and not as old and wise as he, a wallflower is how he acts, taking in what he sees, but never moving or saying a thing, he's not as wise as he wants to think, he often dwells upon his past, his years shortening he's not immortal you see, his leaves slowly disappear until he is left bare. the cold and doom-like winter, is the last of seasons he will see, they say the good die young, but he often wonders what is he, he's became of dark and death, as cold air push the tree, and now he awaits a simple fate, we all die don't we, as he thinks of what he knows, he is soon to see what he is wasting, no we're not immortal he thinks, but all just a bit too late, for now its time for fate, his bark turns dark and he is cold, buried beneath a sea of we.
I start this poem with a plea, Look at whats become of me, Shattered dreams and a broken heart, So much guilt where do I start? I wanted life yet I found death, My mother gone my children left, My friends ticked off one by one, No ones left now the reapers come. I looked for God but all I find, Is the broken world He left behind, No more hope for united bliss, Only waiting for the drunk mans fist. Yet I seem to find a light, The only thing that seem this right, All I have is this tainted love, As she cant bless it from above.
I lost my head, It's gone now, There's no way to get it back Inside one's mind I am blind, Hopeless,pitiful A trail of black, There's no sunshine or rainbows In my state, In my state, Of wrong turns and hurtful burns Angst,among these Despaired hates, Darkness is too easy a way to put it, So I run within my mind To try to find What never seems to have existed at all My half empty glass of impossible, Carelessness,wishful thinking Help is needed though never wanted Not allowed in my state of mind, A monster I've become Not to others but to myself, So now,I look back At the good times that once were mine And sit and think, If only I could turn back these hands of time
along time ago u told me to stand my ground but when i needed u the most you couldnt be found 16 years went by that i barely got to see your face last time i heard from you u called me a disgrace u brought me tears and hell threw out my life and when i thought u had change i thought things will be alright but again and again u stabbed me in the back ur truely a monster and that is the fact i pray and i pray that things will change that maybe someday u will come back and stop being deranged ---written by Larissa Summitt
Feeling alone in the largest crowd Being followed by the darkest crowd Cared too much before so I'm heartless now Trying to find my way in the hardest route Walked so many miles, I feel dead on my feet Don't always use my head when I speak Don't know what I said, I can't repeat Lying in my bed, I can't sleep Got too much on my mind I've got stuck in the times Pick up my pad what can I put in my rhymes? Damn I'm stuck for a line I'm trying to drop wisdom Tick tock I hear the clock ticking How do I find a way for this lost mission? Need to start doing and stop wishing I act brave but my fears strong I don't listen just pretend I hear wrong Don't want to hear anything besides what's in my earphones Can't let you know I cried I need these tears gone Dads 6 feet under never even said bye Trying to hold my head high Depression means I'm being bled dry On the table is where my meds lie By "meds" I mean a blade and pen What we go through as boy makes us men Why are you judging me by mistakes I made at 10? Damn I need to escape this cage I'm in These thoughts why can't I block those? I lost control Please don't judge when you see me at the crossroads I'm a lost soul
I look deep into the forest On a cloudy rainy day I see a crow perched on a dead willow tree Staring at me, as if waiting I stare back Watching its dagger eyes Pierce into my soul I start walking towards it I'm mesmerized The beak chipped on the left I continue to walk forward A feather floats down from its side And kisses the ground A shriek bursts from the crow's mouth I proceed forward even with warning not to With each step I take forward The ground behind me turns to ash The flowers wither The sky turns black But I cannot help but walk forward I hear buildings being engulfed in flames But I cannot look away I can't go back now I feel so close The crow is unmoving My world is still burning I'm so close I can feel it in my bones I feel myself getting weaker My world falling apart But I keep going I must reach the crow Pulling me towards it I look away for a moment And I see all the destruction I could have prevented But it does not matter I must finish what I started I reach the tree And there is no crow Just a dead willow tree I rest against the rotting trunk And wait for a crow That never returns But I will never leave No matter how much the world burns Because one day that crow will return And I will be here waiting No matter how much my world burns Even if I burn with it.
Venom laced words Is all the world Feeds the weak But I can taste the brutal decay Of all the slain souls Now buried in the deep Look through the eyes of the Taken You will see this tainted world You will see you're mistaken Those are not happy tears They are laced with blood No one feels a thing They have all gone cold And gone numb You feast your eyes On a beautiful Shamrock Shore But instead I see waves of black Swimming along are the snakes of wrath Those sweet little lullabies Causing you to sleep They wake up the Demons You are their feast When will you stop? Looking through the eyes of faith Take a look through my eyes and see Those born of innocence... Their true damned Fate
Again dark gray clouds are moving in over me She turned away saying let me be Again she has my heart playing with my brain As loneliness has my tears falling like the rain Again my days all feel like it's Monday Painful memories left over from yesterday Again my arms are hanging limp by my side As the dark gray sky blocks the sunshine Again she has the blues playing with my mind And all of my dreams aren't treating me very kind Again I can see her running up around the bend As I watch her reaching out for someone else again Again her lovely face is blurring my eyes Her reflecting image telling so many lies Again I want to forgive her and just hold her today And make these gray rainy days just go away Again I'm wearing these dark sunglasses A new disguise for every day that passes Again loneliness is showing what I'm trying to hide Oh again she's having her way with my pride Again she has the blues playing with my mind And all of my dreams aren't treating me very kind Again I can see her running up around the bend As I watch her reaching out for someone else again Again I can see her running just up around the bend As I watch her reaching out for someone else again
That dark cloud is back yes, I feel it starting to drip It's leaky contents is swelling he's lost again. He works hard he is never out of work except, last month weeks passed, he's lost. He had work we breathed ealier made plans not to celebrate, dig out. After two weeks they downsized he is still six five to my five six I'm lost. That dark cloud is backk it's just hovering now it's load is about to drop hopefully not on my head bucket anyone. We are half a century too old they say not to our face so, what are we to do? live anyway. . .
I'm not just writing rhymes I'm writing tears Welcome to my mind Try spending a night in here Hug me through he page Wipe my tears Help me find a way through the maze Help me to escape from here I don't know where I'm going But I can't do it by myself Reach me through my poem Trying to spread my wings but can't fly myself Tears falling on the paper I can't read the ink Can you please do me a favour? Give me a moment I need to think What's the best way to phrase this? How can I describe my hurt? I don't know how I'm going to make it I need to wipe my words Tomorrow the pain will still be here I don't want to be alone Page filled with tears Please tell me where I've gone wrong I always paid the price for my mistakes Without a sale I don't know if I can carry the weight I may break the scales Ok I apologise that was corny I'm writing tears Not just my story Please take me away from here To a better place Where I've never been Tears don't fall on my face So I write them with my pen
Alas! I am lost in this darkness of night Where is the virgin moon to grant me its purity? The fireflies of night to guide me? All I see is the darkness that embraced me And the black shadows walking around I am struggling to move around in this darkness Sometimes I stumble over obstacles I can't identify these collapsed entities As I am blinded by the darkness I shout for help but get no response The shadows floats past by me Like soulless and cold ghosts The entire domain is hushed No! I am mistaken for I receive something Several feeble sounds of cries and mourning? Terror gathers upon me I can't realize the act but just hear For darkness has blindfolded me I kneel down upon my wounded knees To plead to Thee for guidance Maybe a helping hand Or a light to reveal the way Oh! Father please guide me! I am lost in this darkness of night!
When we first got together we where dying to evade the vicious cycle of mistakes that both of us had made. but we culddn't figure it out so we fall out of a lovers embrace. Don't pull me up i might just break your hands sometimes we need to fall back down for us to understand Don't pull me up i might just break your hands Sometimes we need to fall back down for us to understand Im lying here in shadows hiding from all my mistakes yet they always seem to find me and it seems like i can never catch a break memories that haunt us they're replaying all of our fates giving me an uneasyness that i can't seem to shake! don't pull me up i might just break your hands sometimes we need to fall back down for us to understand. don't pull me up i might just break your hands sometimes we need to fall back down for us to understand i know you've given me all the sympathy that you think that i'm allowed. don't you know that it's killing me yes your killing me but i cannot let you down i'm gonna get up even if it's on my own i think i've had enough i'm no longer yours too drown. let are hands part now i must go away! Don't pull me up i might just break your hands sometimes we need to fall back down for us to understand don't pull me up don't pull me up i need to understand!
this is a twisted little tale of a moon king cult leader on death row...enjoy and employ to all of my fans and fanatical fantastics...to all of my disciples of doom...living and breathing on the dark side of the moon my heart reaches out to you...and it bends and breaks fortified steel locks and iron bars no matter how near and no matter how far through prison doors and electrified fences...my grip on the goal has no consequences through gun tower killers and soul sucking police,priests,politicians,pigs of power and other bad boot lickers my thoughts transcend time and space...monster in your mind...mad moonbeam in your face i traded lunatics lies for that terrible truth...i'll see you all soon...on the dark side of the moon harvest moon's coming like a nuclear blast...seperating the wheat and burning the chaff i can hear war drums bang and guitars slash as mankind and money turn to mountains of ash as democracy demons keep singing that same sad song of fools...i'll see you all soon...on the dark side of the moon condemned and convicted with an addiction that's tragic...my mind mutilates and mangles the masses the judges and juries of anger and fury,soon they'll scatter and scurry like roaches and rats...9 billion lives spent like genocidal cats i'll fly like a bat straight out of the pollution...i'll bring a holy holocaust and start a righteous revolution still i shine like a star to the sad ghosts of gloom...i'll see you all soon...on the dark side of the moon the moon is now full and the sun is eclipsed...in trances of terror minions go on deathtrips i slide and i slip...strapped to a black table brutality beasts brainwashed with bloodlust...believers in fairy tales and fables and diamonds from dust pronouncing the sentence and pumping the poison... i sprout wings...i'm free to fly to my kingdom now i sit on a throne made of thorns and tombstones ps i love you all and i'll see you all soon...on the dark side of the moon king lunar the loon email@example.com
When I was a little girl I was told fairy tales And I was raised to beware of the monster in a black cape I was made to believe that evil would be so ugly That you could see it as soon it was there Oh, how wrong they were Cause you're right here in front of me You look like Prince Charming But you have a dark heart You get me caught up in your twisted arts I was fooled by your big blue eyes I was drawn in by your blonde hair Why was I never warned that those with dark hearts could be so fair Cause now that you've pulled me close I can't deny my affections for you But you give me a roller coaster ride Why did I not see past your blue eyes You push and pull me all the time I should have known I should have been able to see Just how twisted you are Your looks are a lie You don't wear a black cape You don't have an ugly face As much as I try to hate that monster inside I still want you You look like Prince Charming But you have a dark heart And I was drawn in like a moth to a flame You've got me in your prison of desire I'm in chains, can't you see All I want, all I need is to be let free
I've been trying to erase, for a long long time All these happy memories, I have of you But every time I think, that I'm finally over you When my frown, has turned upside down I close my eyes, and again you're right there on my mind Oh! why, why did you leave your memories behind I keep trying to move on, I keep trying to forget you But every road I walk, every path I take Leads my mind, right back to you Oh! it's so hard to go on, without you around For every dark alley, every dark highway You seem to be right there, on my mind to stay Now If memories were like raindrops, falling from the sky I believe the sun, woul have dried them all away And If teardrops, were like morning dew drops, when I cry The winds would have dried them, from my face But each waking hour, you're right there on my mind Oh! why, why did you leave your memories behind Today, I still see you walking away, into the sun I still hear those words, you said, through your tears Guess I'll never be alone, guess my happy days are done I know you'll never return, guess my life has been run "Cause when I close my eyes, you're right there on my mind Oh! why, why did you leave your memories behind
Cold case lover, how I loved you so! You always mattered But, you never believed me! You were my every desire You were everything to me! Looking through your eyes Jaded with jealousy and envy You laid your hands upon me Acting out your emotional And bitter pain "Why were you so mean spirited?" "Who messed with your mind?" How can you kneel before me, now Pleading me to forgive you As, you bawl your eyes out Your relentless begging Over and over You keep playing mind games, with me! Begging me, for mercy To come back, One, last, time... With my swollen eyes Broken bones Twisted up, insides My heart is torn! "Are you a dead man walking?" "Do you not 'feel' no more"? Will I get to see tomorrow's sunrise If, I stay another day with you... Playing Russian roulette with my life I am terrified, I am petrified! My eyes are blind My heart too forgiving! But, I am not leaving. "Will I become a cold case murder, one day?" I wonder... At the hands, of my own stupidity! "What will you do on that day, dear lover?" "Will you lie and be deceitful?" "Will you hide things?" Just like, you did from me! Will, you 'vow' devotedly You did it all in the name of 'Love?' Will you brag about Your 'bitter, sweet victory? Open wounds Bleeding soul Release me free From this man's betrayal!
Lack of anarchy This generation knows none It has lost all beliefs of the mothers and fathers before These times are a godless time That the scoundrels pray by and dance to with flames Murderers are given empathy and the sick... to many antidotes I stood above the altar waiting for a cleric But was ashamed of the men who held a cross and kiss to one another Children dying for the touch of an adult yet their games are still adolescent Blood spilled for the sole purpose of drinking in already a vein drought I cried for the times to end but the seconds grew patient and the minutes live Statues built in tyranny and now every country begs for violence and respect Lust at the tip of the educators wand Fear is just a name that history has failed to remember Witchcraft at the culmination of a holiday which we celebrate loudly and drunken May God pity this land Our hands use to ache with hard labor Now they snatch ignorance at the kneck Virtues grappling at a whim while the holiness has been abandoned like a ship Drifting away at a destitute harbour
I hurt so badly The pain is deep I cry at night I cant sleep my stomachs knotted I cant eat my chest feels heavy I cant breath I feel desperation I feel despair I feel im slipping No one cares I take this blade the cut is deep I rest my eyes eternal sleep
There is a flame which dances under my heart A candle that flickers and fills my chest with smoke Just far enough that I can feel each bead forming Before it drips off and is swept away in my veins The slow collapsing of something so powerful Smoke blurs the soggy edges of my life source Like the gradual melting of a stone First the sweat appears on the surface Then the dimples of weakness begin to show Instead of an overwhelming wave of heat It initiates with a basic discomfort And escalates to a panicked fever Then progresses to a constant groan of aching Each step becomes weaker and with less purpose Less hope, less confidence, less love Because of this simple flame which dances so effortlessly Beneath the not so thick walls of my heart.
This was the lowest point in my life The biggest mistake I made I picked up a knife & took away my pain with the blade I covered it up So no one would see But a few of the scars have stuck So I'll never be free I wish I could take it back But it was the only way I knew how to cope I'm ashamed of this part of my past But my heart was broke Family weren't around I was all alone Even when I was feeling down I wouldn't let it be known Until the day social workers walked in and saw me doing it They talked to me and offered me help But at the time I didn't see anything wrong with doing it I was hurting me and nobody else It was like the knife was a friend and meant a lot to me But eventually it got on top of me I looked in the mirror and got to see Everything I tried so hard not to be It became so much more sinister I became addicted to the pain I needed to do it In order for me to remain I fell in love At the sight of my own blood No matter which way I looked at it I knew this couldn't be good I couldn't go a day without doing it I was doing it almost every hour I was going insane I was losing it But it gave me strength and power It came to a point I went too far And almost got sectioned I could cover my scars But couldn't hide my depression I knew I needed to change I put the knife down It was the hardest thing to do I didn't know if happiness would be found Here I am 3 years clean No longer a slave to the knife It feels like a dream I overcame the biggest mistake in my life
When your sadness comes around And your world is crashing down Way faster than you can stop it And your in a deep dark pit That' is carrying you way under And your brains starting to wonder If a hand is gonna pull You back up from all this bull And out of the darkness that Is making your heart go flat Not beating with the full force It is getting way off course As your life is a big mess You want to shout and confess How much you need someone who Is just as tortured as you Joining together into one Darkness broken by the sun Now shining down with the rays Of loves warmth to lead the way Out of this pit your both in Down a path to help you win A lifetime of joy and peace Slowly sorrow will decrease Day by day smiles return Lessons are now being learned No matter how bad things seem There's always a little gleam Of hope somewhere that you'll find When you need a little shine Of faith to help lead you down A hidden path to be found When the turmoil is too much To face alone and need the touch Of another darkened soul Who's been tortured by life's toll
Ethereal day where sunshine invades the day white cloud , dark eye these visions how they comply and lastly impress golden virtues to the express or expressly sent to the soul with the broken heart who will seep and seep like dripping water whose droplets will meet the floor in puddles deep puddles that will crowd the floor like pool of tears who shower and make fears known to all who are drenched in there outlets but my dark eyes will keep blind and not show the sadness that lurks in my mind but instead live the day the ethereal day where sunshine will invade the day and my likely skill will fake a smile for this day.
Stepping out of the darkness From a somewhat forgotten place Steps what looks like a man With everything but a face He steps out of a doorway Of an old rickety shack In torn up bloodstained overalls And a cowboy hat He came off the porch In full stride I heard him whisper something in tongues And spit smoke when he walk by A breeze of unpleasantness Came soon there after Followed by a strong smell of sulfur And intense laughter Then as the figure Got further away I saw him stop and turn around And murmur my name In voice I hadn't heard In a very long time It triggered a memory from my childhood Buried deep with in my mind A one that id forgotten And didn't know i had As it came to me whose it was It made me sad Tears came to my eyes And started to fall But turned to smoke When I started to ball Then the door of that rickety shack Flung wide open And i could see a bright black glow Of a fire that was heavily smoking And 2 glowing chains At lighting speed Grazed my face As it flew by me They went threw the figure And snatched him back Back into the fire Of that rickety shack I don't know if that was the end of that dream or not I'll find out tonight. And just since your probably wondering who or what that figure is or who I think it is from the voice I heard I truly believe it is my father who committed suicide when I was 10
Go ahead talk about your battle with me one more time on a page Tell everyone how you're lost and your mind is a maze Write one more rhyme about how you've had to live with depression Keep moaning and crying about your families rejection You keep talking about how you're going to beat me Keep talking about how you're going to leave me I stood by your side when everyone else left Carry on crying about the fact no one has helped yet I prey on the weak I know you need me I tell by the way that we speak Freedom is all you say that you need But there won't be a day that I leave I've got a grasp on you Why would I let go? Yes all of them people do laugh at you It's your fault you chose to get close Go ahead wear long sleeves and hide your arms Give reasons to the world about the issues you've had to face But it was you who chose to self-harm You can't change that no matter how many excuses you make People can't see me. They'll just think you're insane and mad No one will take notice They're just say you're in pain and sad Another lost soul made hopeless Put the pen down it's just you and me Your talent is declining your poetry isn't as good as it used to be Staying up all night for a few rhymes losing sleep Blaming me for who you choose to be I can come out whenever I like Force ally our loved ones to leave I'll be with you your whole life I force them to go because I'm all you need Everyday I hear my depression talking to me Everywhere I go my depression is walking with me Everyday I hear my depression talking to me Everywhere I go my depression is walking with me
It's awfully quite at the end of August, placid fireflies come out before the appearance of stars; how tender, how beautiful are the rolling waves in the dark sea kissed by the radiant moonbeams! Absorbed in deep thought, I welcome another evening of solitude with a peace that is more perplexing and intriguing than silence; calmness stupefies, even more than the serenity inside... do I need friends, if I have the company of the entire universe? Crystalline, clear water splashing and bubbling, reaching the spot where I am profoundly thinking, bringing a soothing feeling after a very hot afternoon... hoping not to lose the brilliance of the dotted moon! Tired mind, rest and refresh yourself at sunrise, detach yourself from the constant habit of searching and creating; release the worries and rest, let fantasy spice up your fabulous stories... thoughts that lead to pen, to finally become liberating! On the glistening rocks, owls hoot in hunger and start attacking their preys... the defenseless oysters try to get back into the salty water and be safe in the seaweeds, but they are caught by their claws, and with no strength left and blood in their eyes... they die and their carcasses will be ripped apart and consumed by the ravens! Stop! Enough of this ugly spectacle! Let me turn the eyes to something truly delightful; see the dark sea kissed by the radiant moonbeams to make this August' night really indelible! A ship, with its thousands lights reflecting in the steady flow of the waves, is approaching; the lighthouse's guard announces its arrival...oh, this scene is so fascinating! Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci
I see her image sitting over there, all alone Streaming tears running down her cheeks, on her face Her soft little whimpering voice, a babies tone I remember when she said c'mon daddy, let's have a race It was her first time that she played, in the yard outside I still recall her great big smile, on her tiny face And the tears that ran down her cheek, when she cried Because she tore her brand new dress, with the pink lace She always was my little Angel, my only child But I still cry when I remember, how mommy died giving birth But those pains somehow went away, when my baby smiled Oh how it was so cute that day, she caught a fish It was only three inches long, but to her it was just something sticky And how she loved taking flowers, to her Mommy's grave She always made me smile and laugh, when she said daddy Mommy's stone needs some paint, that it's old and gray Oh! I still recall that dark sad day, when the Angels came And how they took my baby girl, along home with them Oh how the stars did shine that night, up in the sky And how the day was dark, when we buried her Now all I have are memories, of her smiling face In the photograph hanging on the wall, and beside my bed Oh how my tears did fall that day, the Angels came And when they took my baby girl, home with them My heart did break that dreadful day, by a truck As she ran out to get her ball, into the street And when I picked her up she hugged my neck, where she was struck I held her so tight to me, rapped in a sheet She said daddy it'll be o.k., as I wiped blood from her feet She said mommy says we'll be waiting, with God in heaven I'll never forget how my heart was broke, there in the street That day I lost my pride and joy, to some drunken men Oh! I still recall that dark sad day, when the Angels came And how they took my baby girl, along home with them Oh how the stars did shine that night, up in the sky And how the day was dark, when we buried her Now all I have are memories, of her smiling face In the photograph hanging on the wall, and beside my bed Oh how my tears did fall that day, the Angels came And when they took my baby girl, home with them Oh! I still recall that dark sad day, when the Angels came And how they took my baby girl, along home with them Oh how my tears did fall that day, the Angels came And when they took my baby girl, home with them ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This Is a sad song, Not a true story
Another flake that fades away, Another love that cannot stay, An empty body a broken heart, Another nightmare waits to start. Another leaf falls off a tree, Another family left to flee, The battered babe and torn up mum, Another dream has come undone. Another circle of endless hate, Another innocent at the gate, I know it hurts and I will weep, To let my little angles sleep. And so another confession ends, Another day to comprehend, I know that we are split apart, Just know you are always in my heart.
I conceal my face and head praying i was dead I struggled to forget But my heart would not let I wasted my convincing That you were real I stopped praying I'm now shattered down Sitting on the ground I once thought life would go on But it all turned out wrong I decided to give it a last shot Only it wasn't worth the fought I now have a gun and knife Deciding if i should take my life I slash my wrists And shoot my head My body falls to the floor I now lay in a puddle of blood Forever put to rest
I'm hiding behind this, Veil of obscurity, Because I don't want people, To see who I really am, This veil of obscurity is like a mask, A mask that hides my true emotions, I may smile and laugh with my friends, But behind this veil of obscurity, I'm lonely, sad, and depressed, I strive to show the real me, But I hide behind this, Veil of obscurity, Because I'm scared of being rejected, By my friends and family, So I hide behind this, Veil of obscurity, Hoping that someday I can stop hiding behind this, Veil of obscurity, And show the real me,
I love you for what you were, but not for what you are. Those days when I trembled at your soft touch, are so far Away that they seem in the early mists of time. You lit up my life because you were mine. I remember when I met you The joy of life was fresh, like the morning dew. But the bond that made our friendship strong Has been broken by your screams, our love has gone How we have changed. We can no longer bear each other's sight. A thief has not stolen our love on a dark stormy night. But craftily, and with great stealth, Our love has been robbed of its wealth. Issues that are small Appear large and tall. Why can't those dark clouds be brushed away So that we may see the blue of a sunny day? Alas! the time has come to move on. Lately, my heart has lost it's song. My soul is chained with such misery That it screams with anguish to be free. The drums, that starts this frenzied beat March up and down my mind's street. They pound, and thump to get my feet To follow them, a new life to greet. Around my head, their beat it goes My cravings pulse, I tap my toes. My mind is pulled with magnetic force As I follow, wildly, on it's course. Our love, that once was much stronger Pulls hard for me to tarry longer. But hatred has replaced your lovely smile. Now all you do is rant and rile. That drum, that drum it comes again It taps and rattles in my brain It beats so loud. I'll go insane If peace and quiet do not reign For onward, onward, I must go A new life to lead, a new face to show. Where Peace can come and set me free From your screams and ferocity. There comes a time, when we grow old A brighter future can unfold. Though bodies change, and movements slow We can go forward, the past can go. And in the twilight of my life I need not live with hate and strife. With those that fight I will be rude I'll play soft music in solitude. When strife and worldly goals I leave My peace of mind you cannot thieve. Happiness and Heaven is my goal I pray to God, I give my Soul.
I know it's wrong to ask but why me? What have I done? I can't really see, But you make it so easy for me to think evil, So easy to make me be friends with the devil, So dark is my mind now, it makes the black hole seems like the sun, Nothing but darkness, evil, hatred, anger, all except fun, If I was to listen to my mind, I would be now hanging from a tree, That would be less painful than life, I would just be free, If the world was to supposedly end, I would die knowing that my life can't be mend, If only you were in the place I am in, U would see that all in my vision is sin, The thoughts in my head should be illegal to think, So to kill the thoughts, pull the trigger at my head, don't blink, Because if u do, you'll probably miss, And that would leave in this deep dark abyss, It makes no more sense of my tears to let you see, I would just leave this life and let you all be, But there's just one spot of light in my life, And it's my lover, the one to make my wife, If it wasn't for her I would now be dead, Laying in a coffin resting my head, She is the only thing I am living for, But the house of darkness in my life, she can't close the door......
Crying deep in the dark of the night Only a single tear piercing the skin A gentle kindness to never-ending plight The bitter screaming, I try as I might To drown out the memories with a soft grin Crying deep in the dark of the night Desolate thoughts, the blurry images, deluding my sight Learning to cope with unbearable sin A gentle kindness to never-ending plight Peaceful quiet, no yelling or sounds of fight I wipe the tears from sleepy eyes, holding up high my chin Crying deep in the dark of the night Sitting alone, wrapped in blankets real tight Blinded eyes burning from unseen pins A gentle kindness to never-ending plight There you are, with weeping orbs of hidden light And here I stand, with a single shudder, determined to win Crying deep in the dark of the night A gentle kindness to never-ending plight
Tonight a little child lays in her bed and cries Her little fingers, clinging to her favorite teddy bear Her blanket soak and wet, where she lies For she was alone one more night, with her tears Her mommy's left, for another night on the town As she lays alone, in the darkness and her tears Inside her tiny chest, she hears a little sound As the dark quiet room, brings out her little fears A little child left alone, a baby Two little arms reaching out, to be held Another Angel lays crying, for her mommy As her whimper turns her tone, into a wale As the lonely dark night, turns into day Her restless soul catches up, to the man He takes her little hand and leads her away For her journey in life, has been ran Her innocence all gone, scars left on her skin Her face now blue, veins broken and torn She was just a little Angel, that could never win For she was pushed aside, since the day she was born A little child left alone, a baby Two little arms reaching out, to be held Another Angel lays crying, for her mommy As her whimper turns her tone, into a wale
I can't accept it I won't accept it..this world is full of pain and suffering? why do we suffer,why do we stand by and watch the suffering. my tears are like a new moon's light,where am I?who am I..am I just a image of my demise. maybe this world is a dream,a sad story..another chapter of dark and deep sadness. let me close my eyes and take it away
i tried to write a love poem today but i did not know the correct way my words do not come out in that form my heart is like a never ending storm i write about death, about blood and tears about secrets, pain and threatening fears about the joy of dying and how the world keeps lieing love is not in my vocabulary, or in my mind it's a lost cause something i'll never find my heart is eched with rock and ice nothing in there ever comes out nice nothing i write can make you smile it's as if my mind is created of pure hostile i want to feel love to let my words kind of flow but i can not write about something that i do not know i feel no pity no sadness no sorrow i even pray often for no tomorrow words so perfectly wrote so caring and loving can not come from a mind that's constantly shoving shoving words of hatred or ill dismay of no sunshine and hopeing it would stay this way they can't they won't they do not know how they try they look and they understand now for you see dark minds think of dark things of words that pierce you that make your eyes sting sting with tears and fears and haunting pasts of things that you could have only wished to last reality it hurts it bites you in the heart and i know my words can tear you apart i can not apologize for what i write or because my world is not at all bright i can not apologize for my words of hate but if i do not write them now, tomorrow might be too late...
He watched her die from a measured distance; carefully calibrated and guaranteed to keep the anguish from reaching his throat with its steely fingers and choking the remaining compassion out of his cowardly body Sharp eyes still taking in the carnage despite the geographical buffer; keen ears recording the groans and words of regret across the coaxial moat; soul silently feeling the judgment being passed and sentence being executed From this frigid place, separated by an icy sea of tears, across the frozen wasteland of old regrets, deep below the tundra of disappointments, fossilized in the permafrost of a broken heart, he coldly watched her die
For you are forsaken My soul you've taken For I'm just a foolish girl Who doesn't have what it takes to last in this world You words insulting For when I escape, it will be exulting From you and everyone Your biggest mistake here was thinking I was the one To just let things go Not anymore I'm done
As a dark and depressing hollow veil, it walks beneath me unaltered It stalks when I move Stays still with me too The color I wear, my emotion, my thought Hold same blank impervious gaze in it Is it a reminder of an unhealed wound? Or the fore teller of a looming catastrophe In my lonely nights, there is a recurring illusion of two gleaming eyes peering at me Devilish smile and dark hands engulfing me As the last ray of light flickers and dies But my spirit and faith still remain unbeaten That which cannot be shaken That which remains and battles until the last ray of hope dies down..
You always seem To wander into my dreams But I love you too much To ever call you my fiend Biggest mistake I ever made Put my heart on a stake Only to watch it drain Of every bit of life left I was blinded in my false fame Regretful, I lay here dying To be in your arms is what I'm crying Cold and helpless I have not a soul Because without you I have not a home Cannot escape my mistake as I lay awake Shattered my heart seems For his annihilated state How much more can I take? Never want to sleep again I know what I have done All I can see is your sweet eyes I give up, only to run So take my heart and bleed it dry Take my soul, feed it to the night I cannot go on, I give up fight For my only fear Is not being with you At the end of my life.................
LITTLE DIME An audible and humanly painful sound Is left by the dime in a small tin box. The echo of its poverty hovers in the air As a constant warning to the world. If the dark shadows of solitude Would proudly rule the boy's little empire (for a child without a window into the world, everything is a fairy tale), His sad and ill mother Would weave the quilt of her life; An audible and humanly painful sound Is left by the dime in a small tin box. The boy's ill mother, Known as a quilt maker, Calls out with a new painful sound, Not as a curse, But as her faith; An audible and humanly painful sound Is left by the dime in a small tin box. Whose is the hand who put that dime Into the boy's mother trembling hand? The hand of a stranger?... The hand of a missionary?... The hand of a child?... The hand of some wonderful angel?... Whose hand cared so much For the hand of his sad ill mother? An audible and perfectly human sound Is left by the dime in a small tin box. The dime is reverberantly singing in its small tin box, Royally proclaiming - As if it was a golden coin - "Do not worry, my friends, Hunger shall not cross your doorstep As long as you have me!" An audible and humanly painful sound Is left by the dime in a small tin box. How many dreams, prayers and hopes Did the boy's mother weave Into the quilt of her life?... These questions mutely knock against the face Of many of their dark nights; An audible and humanly painful sound Is left by the the boy's tear in a small tin box. The memories have long since trapped The boy's mother's quilt of life in their silky web; The memories have long since trapped The boy's mother's small tin box; The memories have long since trapped All of the boy's late mother's deaf tears, The little dime's sound long since died down. ©Walter William Safar
(At Wild Bill Hickok's Grave) Those bold Black Hills of South Dakota, Darkly murmur of all your Badlands— You have left now like the Lakota— On that hillside your monument stands. Hills pulse under Ponderosa pines— Strong night breezes have yet much to say— Legends linger on lips and pale shrines— They know that Wild Bill once passed this way. You sleep long in this last resting place, That now overlooks sinful Deadwood— It is here that we still see your face, Yet ponder if you were bad or good. They moved your petrified form it's said— Casket opened, though some thought it wrong— Your dark face yet perfect, though long dead— Your fair hair still so flaxen and long. Jane Cannary lays mute beside you— A calamity that is no more— As you study those cards in the blue— Play that dead man's hand from a far shore. Saffron leaves and stern winds shape your grave— And your name's one that we all know still— As you raise dark death's ante and save, One last red ace to trump Deadwood hill.
Like a moth to the flame, I long for the pain. Just to feel...real. As many times as I'm seared, I just keep coming back. Broken and scarred past all redemption, There is no salvation for the damned... Falling deeper into my tortured soul, The pain burns so good...
Leaves brown and broken lay upon the ground, Reminiscent of my scarred heart. Slowly dying day after day. Winter winds blow; shredding what's left. These leaves will never be reborn. And I...there is no salvation for one such as I...
I don't know what I'm meant to say, To make this feeling go away, This aching pain and lonely love, For my daughter and son above. There little faces I can see, In my mind so vividly, Smeared with blood and crying loud, But this pain I can't say aloud. I wish they could be at peace, Seated up in heavens feast, Not condemned to wonder on, For something they have not done. It seems to me that God is cruel, And there for He's not fit to rule, To let my babes burn to dust, Because of their parents lust. I will save them if I can, Even if I'm asking Pan, To take my babes and make them sleep, Even if this makes me weep.
One broken person Two sad eyes Three painted fingernails Four attempts of suicide Five fingers shaking Six sad tears Seven beautiful drawings Eight screams of fear Nine prayers at night Ten sins a day One broken person, has nothing left to say
I never grew in poverty, or without a stroke of love. Still I hold my tears at night, but what am I afraid of? The dark of night can welcome dreams, but dark thoughts come with time. Maybe fear comes with knowing that these thoughts are only mine.
I'm folding paper airplanes I know will never fly, Crumple them after And I'm missing The basket every time, I'd say I'm off center; The earth isn't rotating The way it should; Something is off kilter, She is gone, Killed her heart Driven to suicide, Soul released Like a flame put out, But she took part of me With her dying breath, I'm a desert barren; No rainy clouds No breezy sun, Just cold as death Within me, Where did she go? Though I know the answer, I'm neglecting it, She'll never be back And all I can do is reminisce, Memories refresh, Gloss over her pictures; Cry at her laughter I won't hear again; Might as well give up All my senses, What use is it all If I can't see her once more...
It's dark and lonely in my mind the light I can not see Sounds are getting fainter there is no one here with me Tears flow heavy like a late afternoon rain shower I can hold them back no longer; I just do not have the power My heart grows weary of the pain I feel more everyday Neither pills, nor therapy can take this pain away My tissue box is empty I've thrown it on the floor Even knowing that I have no energy to go and get some more This feeling drains my body, my mind and all my soul I wait and wonder will it end and once more I can feel whole Away inside my mind I'm lock until I am released Depression has a hold on me when will this torture cease The pain I feel is not just mental, for on my body toll is taken The dark cloud hangs above me and these feelings can not be shaken Depression has a hold on me when will this torture cease?
Conquest by everything dark and dismal Fortress of the deep runs black and deadly Horrors brought to the surface burns Try to hide behind the churning blanket The dark hole bleeds with endless souls And corrupted bleak pained hated eyes Terrify even the most glorious heroes Maybe hell would be a vacation from this fate Horrid pains plague the hearts of the wary Torture leads those lost to the gates of destruction Never will I tarry anywhere near terror Maybe someday I'll get out of this fiery death Russell Sivey
I'm a restless man I am never Still I'm always spurred on By some perverse Will The grass is never Green No peace here To find Some demon Of motion's At work within my Mind No bed is too soft That I won't Abandon Its sweet calm And comfort For a softer One I'm a restless man I am never Still I'm always spurred on By some perverse will. (Edited version of original written ca. 1980.)
Words whispered on winds so cold, Left over from days grown old. Promises made and regrets spoken, In the I am broken. On these winter winds I drift, Through tears and memories do I sift. Searching for myself amongst shattered pieces; as brittle as glass. And I wonder what happened to me, To the child I once was and the woman I am now? Now I am downing in the seas of my regrets, My distress calls grow ever fainter. As I give up and sink into the cold chaos of my soul... I am open to suggestions for a title for this poem.
I heard my Saviiour, At the dark gate of Gethsemane, A wondrous song He sang, And sweet to remember. He said, I am in this, Nearer to the Cup of Calvary, Through which salvation, Must come to all mankind, All alone having been deserted, I heard my Saviour sing, In the greatest hour of His need, In the dark Gethsemane.
Don't give me a penny for my thoughts they're not worth that I know about pain first class I tried to let go but the hurt attached Mom hasn't been there since the birth passed I thank you for the life you gave me But I don't know what I did wrong for you to put me into care How could you give up on your son when he was age 3? I would have gave anything to just have you there Do I feel this way cause of depression? A lost face in the crowd Looking for the place for my reflection Don't feel safe when I'm out I just feel people staring Hood up trying to hide with my earphones blaring How could anyone want me when I was abandoned by my parents? This isn't even a quarter of all I'm bearing I'm trying to stay positive But when it comes to faith, lost a bit Paid the price and my mistakes, cost a bit I need a hand with some of this weight, not to quit They make fun of my insanity and madness I've never touched drugs in my life Even though I come from a family of addicts I need a hug, never had love in my life I know I'm on the right path, just don't know how long it takes I'll hold myself accountable for every wrong I make But I've never been treated as an equal on his earth That's why I feel I belong in space People criticise without knowing They belittle me and wonder why I'm still growing I told you my thoughts weren't worth a penny That's why I use them freely in my poems
Along came a black horse rider non existent fire in his eyes life no longer see the devil smile as his horse grew younger see the devil cry as his horse grew fonder sat a lonely boy in his path eyes of water lit to wrath boy stood up as wings were cast the dark horse turned grey as light did pass see the angel smile as the boy grew older see the angel smile as the boy grew wonder horse came a halt eyes still a glaze boy flew above the dark horses maze fire from his eyes erupted through the air the boy inhaled as the fire turned to tears the young boy now a man the fire inside him as turned his hand from giving to a fist no longer will stand as the horse now in air flying with the man the waltz of life now on demand the man and horse now riding through land turn to each others repromand the boy grew dark and eyes now steam the horse grew white and wings through the beam see the devil smile as his horse won the fight see the angels smile as their boy won the might
First of all I'm crazy As well as being damaged and broken My trust? Not many will manage to open No one can save me Misunderstood like you don't understand what language is spoken Please don't panic my emotions This is the life that god gave me I thought I'd beat depression Until it hit me in the face like a punch from Floyd Mayweather And it laughed at my progression Like try to escape but we will stay together It's hard to always be responsible But I put my heart in my words And my actions are always honourable Even when I'm hurt Don't blame anyone I hold myself accountable Allow little issues mount up and become insurmountable But if no one is there to hold you up you're bound to fall I need to be alone I can't be around you all Depression has made me a prisoner The voices in my head are my only listeners Monsters under are my only visitors Please I need you to keep away I don't want to speak today Only want to hear what's coming out my beats by dre As I listen to Eminem rap over beats by dre As I get lost in the words Do I want a hug or to smash up the world? Sidetracked as I see the ass on that girl I'm dumb enough to think her nice body can stop all my hurt I know I need to change Born alone and I'll leave the same Depression took my happiness and told me to keep the pain Try to tell my story but my heart can't read my brain I talk about depression so much I bet people think "Alex you bore me" But I've suffered from it since I was fourteen What would you do when it adds to your nightmares and takes your dreams? My throat can't take any more screams Looking at the sky like "Where are you dad?" You were never there so I have to share on my pad I'm scared and I'm sad Please be aware I am mad Never tried to hide it Could decide to disguise it Live my life in private But need to get all of this out of my system Maybe I need to shout so they listen Maybe they just don't care I need somewhere to put my tears They won't fall from my eyes I give my all and I try I try to be a better me Depression controls me so I'm never free Welcome to the dark and sad poet With the damaged and broken heart The dark and sad poet Who's covered in scars
Her veil had become painted with dark misery As once what was bliss, has now disappeared The dreams with this man were faded and dreary Her love turned quickly to hate and to fears As once what was bliss, has now disappeared His hands became weapons, stabbing at her heart Her love turned quickly to hate and to fears Now knowing from this life, she now must depart His hands became weapons, stabbing at her heart He was no longer the man she thought she had known Now knowing from this life, she now must depart She prays to find a life she can call her very own He was no longer the man she thought she had known The dreams with this man were faded and dreary She prays to find a life she can call her very own Her veil had become painted with dark misery
For my life that is not beyond repair, I flee to a place where I become lost, But am thankful to it. I cannot be found, Nor do I want to be found. I slip away willingly Into the dark hidden comfort of obscurity To the point of where I am almost Consumed by a dark force similar to death. Death is easy, but life is hard, So I tend to keep to myself As so on one knows i'm gone. The Death of my life Drains my Soul as I Bleed from my Heart, pouring out into The Deep Beyond of the Universe. The dark hidden comfort acting as A blanket of safety, even if it sounds morbid.
scared, alone broke down on dark highway creepy willows, hover over me waiting for a sign of headlights but to no avail-none i debate to walk slowly creeping through woods fog thicker than lard water gushing in open-toed shoes till i see a dim light wooded cabin tucked away shadowed by redwoods i knock-no answer i enter cautiously sit by fireplace as i remove my wet shoes there's a towel hung over rocking chair as if waiting for methen it hits me i've been here before locked in a closet by some crazed maniac i slowly step to the closet door turn the knob crouched in corner scared, alone looking into my eyes another young soul taken before her time i retrace my steps and remember when i was 16 driving down this dark highway when my car broke down thinking someone would help waking to being tied and tortured till i no longer breathed scared and alone karen croft
in the moldy dank depths of my thoughts in the cellar of my imprisonment the prison of my mind, my thoughts, hope flits like a moth's wing against the scorching glass of my lamp of light , my light of hope, my lightness of being. yet the darkness sits like a weight - an entire house above the cellar and seals in the dampness and squeezes it out of my eyes
'This is it. My last entry. I have no more words left to say. I want to thank all the people in my life that I enjoyed and gave me their time. I had a great time, but now it's time for me to go. This path that I'm about to go down no one can help me, no one can hear me, or see me. I have demons inside me that I can't battle with anymore. I've given up, thrown in the white flag. Everyday you've haunted me, wanting my soul, wanting me to join you, go on your side. You've beckoned me in my dreams, called my name in reality while not being around, you've taken me to the deepest, darkest part of the world and trapped me there unable to get out. I've been in the dark most of my life, not able to see the faintest of light. Not one speck of the sunrise entering just darkness all around, engulfing me, strangling me until I finally give in. This depression has taken a life of its own and has come over me like a dark cloud that just won't go away. These demons just won't go away, won't leave me alone, I just can't escape them. So I'm going to take the red pill instead of the blue. And when I close my eyes for the last time may everyone be in peace.
Oh...shredded wings on sad eyed Angels... collecting tears from pain Replace your flight into the night with wings of gentle rain Celestial blue... with crimson shade will serve to just inspire Smile, pretty Angels smile.... ....just fly... and never tire..... Don't worry of earth or the dark clouds brewing for the tempest will disappear.... The crooked storms away like sand so.... dry those salty tears Oh...shredded wings on sad eyed Angels.... restore your former glory Fly the flight of innocent and breathe this Angels story Once was lost..... but now am found..... amid the dark and gray..... Fly the flight into the night to find the wasted years Shed the weight of not so great and dry up Angel tears.... Oh....shredded wings Oh....shredded wings Fly again, just Fly!
Down a long dark road Stands a girl longing for him to hold Waiting there in the cold Her world is turned inside out And she's left to wonder what is love really all about She sees it in her minds eye but still has some doubt She feels a sensation that cannot be hidden throughout Yet she don't quite hold it in her hands And to her things just get washed away like words written in the sand But she still holds on tightly to hope and fate Praying always that it's never to late And down that long dark road for him she will wait Until the day she can see clearly the path she needs to take And the decisions she alone needs to make Her heart to him she knows she will forever forsake Every night and each mornings wake
In fantasy, we're Dagwood and Blondie, Never aging a single day, With a dog who is destined to be ever young And children teenagers to stay. No sad war nor big problems to plague us We live in disaster free world. Dagwood's dark head never loses a hair, Blondies tresses are perfectly curled. I fancy we live in the comics And no longer have difficult days. If dark clouds roll in, they roll out again And we're basking in sunshiny rays. I did not receive that sad phone call, Telling me that I'm now on my own, That my children have lost their loved father And I am to raise them alone. In my dreams we now live in the comics, Where each Sunday's a new day of laughter. My love did not die and I need not cry. We're together forever and after. Inspired by Christy's challege
Look now here he comes Taking a strole through the slumbs He is alone in the garden of flowers Using the moons enchanting powers Ending all contact with most ladies For his heart was broken in the cities A girl who was to be his wife Cheated and caused all his strife With a man of unknowing stature Tall dark with eminent structure Every night he excuses haunting dreams Among the gardens beauty and light streams He left the fiance' in his mansion Coursing the man of her new passion She tried furiously to find him after But his note enclosed this dark chapter The note brought her to tears She couldn't find him for years. But now her search has drawn her near A beautiful seductress that is his fear Her spell can no longer hinder my actions Nothing further can sway my factions this garden is my final just sanctuary In hopes she fails and falls to the wary. If I see her I will not speak Just bow my head close my eyes and sleep Closing my ears from her leathal rambles Her emotions will end in infinite shambles Her actions I will never forgive I am ashamed for wanting to live To feed her flame and her desire I would go back and try to aspire For this my heart tells me no more Casting a shadow over feelings sore Adjusting to life it seems Conjuring old wants and dreams.
Depression is a lonely dark space where nothing flourishes. It's dead and dark inside and out. No room for thoughts or ideas. No place for even a minute piece of sunlight. It is an all encompassing feeling that eats at your heart and soul. To those who have not yet wished for death, it is only a breath away. Your head stays an empty abyss. Your heart is as numb as a winter's day. There's nothing there but an empty shell in which all emotions must remain bottled. For the truly depressed "silence is golden". It is the ultimate statement for "all" and "last" to hear.
Standing in the dark I see my shadow looking at me. Standing in the dark I see my shadow reminding me why I am on this earth. Standing in the dark I watch my life go by. Standing in the dark asking myself what am I doing to myself. Showing me the past is the past and to let go of all the pain and anger I carry inside. What happened to me in the past has changed me. Things that happened to me have changed the way I view life. When my grandpa died things got worse in house hold I lived in. One night a big fight happened I felt like there was nothing to live for. These people had brain washed my mom the only person I had in life. Standing in the dark I took a handful of pills before I realized the shadow of my grandpa was there. That is what stopped me from killing myself someone who cared for me. Standing in the dark somone comes to me and tells me things will get better with time. Standing in a dark room realizing the voice was my grandpa Earl. As time went on things got worse now accused of stealing they would search my room and take things that were not thiers. Upset I would stand in a dark room and I would slit my wrists. I felt like that was the only way to feel pain and it always made me feel better. Today things are getting better in a new home where I am able to have friends over. I also have my mom back. Standing in the dark starring at my shadow I realize life is the most important thing to have. Standing in the dark I have a new lease on life and people love me for who I am. Standing in the dark i see what my furture mybe like if I keep on living. Standing in the dark someone comes in saving me from the things I might do to myself. Standing in the light I ask for help.
Press your thoughts to your mind's eye. Peer out through the blackness and grossness Stuck to your skin like hot black tar Burning your very being and leaving It's deep scars. Your thoughts have betrayed you. Focus hard now, for it's time to think. Veer back in painful realization and slam The door on what you now must realize. Panic strikes deep into your heart And rips a gigantic hole in your selfishness And you ache to take it all back inside, To forget what you just seen like a bad Mistake. Voices outside speak the truth and drool At the notion of your inner truth being revealed Like a dirty secret. It sits and taunts your every breath. Your every word curses your very self-worth. Murmurs at the backdoor of righteousness Ooze into a plain color on a slab of coarse stone. Marble perhaps, its beauty engrained in every Sweep of the Creators hand. But you are not Marble. Weak and transparent - the wind blows right Through you and the sun burns your albino skin You hid in the darkness behind your face. Scratching your ugly sores that they created. Murdering the thoughts that pervade your common sense. Your closet overflows with bones of days gone by And your true self hangs dead from a rope binded by Pride. A rope you created with your own hands. You accept what you want to see and whip the Truth back into its dark corner Screaming and begging you to stop It's legs withered and its body old and worn From years of beatings and abuse. Truth will not tolerate the dark for long. It needs the light to heal its wounds. Think hard now.
Abandoned soul lost in a tempestuous storm Cascading raindrops stream down the window pane Oblivious is she to her own mournful wailing Leeches line up to lay claim on their investment Darkness falls soundly, hollowing out the pit of her being Dirty deeds done cheap cost her more than her life's worth Abundant is her despair as she lay spread eagle in a trance Retching pain sears a trail of unbearable anguish through her Knight in shining armor rusted stiff in her backyard Noble efforts faltered, too frozen is her spirit Invincible is she to Love's embracing flame Gone is her heart, forbidden fruit consumed by savages Howl wind, Howl, sing a song of Misery Tonight she is a ghost cast away amongst the shadows A cold dark night Chills run through me as I witness her plight A cold dark night Despair and heartache have made her cease to fight A cold dark night Her secrets exposed by the pale moonlight A cold dark night Sins more frightening than the blackest of nights A cold dark night This star's burning out; once shining so bright A cold dark night
The rain started to pour and the clouds gathered grey overwhelming creepy darkness Freezing wind started to sway My disappointment in world knocked me down once again I give up and curl into myself and tears pour like rain What is it, I asked I am pursuing what is it I am afraid of loosing No answer fascinating came from inside me Nothing seemed enough to set my soul free I gave up trying and decided to just breathe No matter what you do world is difficult to please
It's dark here in the folds of this life i can't see here in the halls of my life windows, I have been here tonight doors,i... have brought to life i cant hold onto what's in my hands i can't taste whats in my mouth i can't feel the love of my wife it's dark here in the folds of my life someone, please lead me out of this hell i can't hear the sounds of that bell it echoes through the space of my head it really feels like i'm already dead i can't listen to what my mind tells me to do windows of a lifes past wrongs doors that opened to what never belonged it's dark here in the folds of this life
and i'm floating away floating over to the dark side cant hold it in i cant do it anymore my strength has been sapped my will to live killed for when you left me to be with her instead you took the life right out of my heart and so i stand here, and watch you two together. i hold in the tears till i have a shoulder to cry on ill run to him just to cry. and i need the strength you took from me otherwise i wont be able to go on thru life Now i'm stuck in the place in between stuck where i cant ever be happy again so please keep me from floating over to the dark side cause i cant stop myself and im floating away...
Staying in the light now? Is that what it's called? Fear of the darkness? Or what in it has crawled? You lay in your bed, clutching at your cover. Do you fear to be dead, or are in the gaze of another? Do not fear what, in the darkness, may live, all they want is fun. For they never take more than they give, So there is no need to run. Only the Dark ones we are, So why fear and make fuss? You could go far, once you've joined us. We Dark ones are lovers, of an unusual sort Using our minds on others In our ways they contort. Now join me my lovely, Whilest the night is still young. and then my lovely, our Requiem will be sung.
So this dark redeems me All the pain burns my hatred away And as the sun becomes nothing So does my sight turn to dust and decay For the lust I've been wanting For the wanting that lusts for my life I proclaim my deception For deception to pull you inside Eternity in a riddle The paradoxes that plague every noise Too alive for the lessons But far too dead to believe there's a choice And ever realising That the world can not take what I am For if I was to end this I would awake with the strength of the damned So this dark redeems me All the silence you hold will be mine And as the moon becomes nothing So do my crimes eclipse the horror I find
From deepest pit of thysoul doth rise new dreams, Rain cascades from thine dark windows, Tears that have lived within one for many years, Lustrous, liquid pearls forged from sway thy soul, Birthed in thy heart, how love doth gleam, From thine ebon heart a pillar of light shall sawy, Through these dark forests a quiet daze, Felt thy sorrow, thy face sweet dove, thy heart raven, Every waking hour I tread through April's newly shed tears, Give not thy day for another, In realm of senses you were thy heart's brother, Yet from thy soul doth rise new dreams, Come to thee, fairest love, The fabric of thine lonely love has burst its seams!
A small lonely child, she sits and puts her crayons on the floor Separates colours into light and dark, happy and sad she muses Packs away all the bright happy crayons There's no room in life for such frivolity For all she sees is the dark looming Her rainbows are all coloured in deep blues and crimson There's no sun, no warmth, just a huge dark crescent moon Figures in her pictures have no eyes, they don't see her anyway She's invisible as if she exists on another plane A single tear escapes her eye, rolling silently down a tiny cheek She captures it in her hand, even her tears are colourless A true reflection of the emptiness within Picking up the happy crayons she tosses them away With them all her dreams and expectations She turns and walks away, no one notices Disappearing into the welcoming shadows Into that dark familiar place
I cut myself today to cure my bleeding eyes To blindfold the tears and kill my fearing lies I watched the crimson tears fall from my broken wrists The dark angel came to give me a kiss Water fell down his dark wings, I seen the love of hell and with it brings Satan and his angels to feed upon the soles of the living. He killed my life and I let him Fow what my child, for sin? follow hells road in which my path lies. My candle is long gone and with you I sing the masters song die to all my living creatures and love yet another time for its now all mine and i give it away for death. Love cheats my very existence and I kill for my last breath You call this loves garden? I named him Seth I will steal you away and we die in the garden of the sinned Kill me to save me.
As the pain rolls over my heart Like a dark cloud of despair Pouring drops of hate unto my soul As the hate rises to drown me in This ocean of desperation I look for salvation and see nothing But the cold blackness that surround me. With not a flicker of hope to illuminate this dark and retched cloud That hangs over my heart which consumes it with loneliness For that is all that can be felt in the vast void of This Dark Cloud of Despair Jm12/29/2006
I see dark i feel dark as i fall. it consumes me as i fall taking no chances. I hear weeping sounds around me, i ask them to stop but they dont.I curl up into a ball hoping that my falling has ended.Then i feel the earth apon my body as i fall,i open my eyes and see trees,birds,and the sun,i smile as i look apon it all then i realize that the world doesn't work as so,The death,the pain and the hurt we all cause.its killing all.i close my eyes and wrap my hands around my body and fall into a black hole that we created full of the demize, the hate. Will the hate and demize ever end?
Feeling it in me, I am touching its effect on me, I am hearing it slither between my sins I am carrying the dark remedy, For years, searching for the cure, But in me, the pain was pure, My tormented heart would adapt the sorrow, But it would continuously hurt, Sometimes I would ignore, Just to avoid seeing my heart sore, But the pretending would always fail And lead me into another trail Of dimness, Choices were never made, Questions remain to be answered, Confusion and incomprehensible thoughts, Would always lead into more darkness, I never understood the key to this pain, For comprehension is obscured, I desperately called for the remedy, But it never was found, Hopeless, I ended Sadness, I befriended I lost all the optimism in me, I lived on the edge, A vague light Created by my sufferings Lived within me, and Made a difference, THE DARK REMEDY, I smelt it, I felt it, Inhabit my soul, Venomously burning, leaving the cure I needed Setting me free…
My life is a smokescreen You can't see me I hide behind dark glasses Of bright smiles and glee You can't find me When you're looking around Because deep down inside me That's where I'm found Down in the dungeon Of damp dark despair So don't think you know me Because I'm not up there Where did I get lost? I really don't know My life I wish gone But I don't let it show The world is a cruel place Of sharp pains and old hurts It's all of my memories That keep in my thoughts
The dark rain falls upon the world And drowns the stifled cries, And bathes with faithless vision The grieving parent eyes; And in it's cold descending And it's desolate decision Cuts the very cord of life With a hand of God precision. The pieces that are scattered Are emotions in that rain, Bled of designation, Swirling down a silent drain; And as the night approaches And the light invites stagnation, All the trains grind to conclusion At a cold and empty station. The dark rain is an emblem And a harbinger of death Yet our love is great, defying Any stilling of the breath; For the short time we remember Puts an end to grief and crying The short time that you had A timeless source of love undying.
When I first heard the news I didn't think it could be true The cops must have it wrong I thought You'd never do that, no of course But deep inside I knew them right You did it to give me a fright You didn't think or even care You lacked control and couldn't fair I wasn't home and you where mad You thought that life was pretty bad You didn't know just where I was So you thought you'd play control You put the petrol there to burn And the mattress for no return You lit the match and toss it down And then you ran without concern The neighour, lucky she was home Called the team to hose it down The street the cops did corner off The fire they put out and stopped I came home later on that night Walked inside and smelt the smoke Not a light could I turn on The power had been cut not long. All I could see was black dark stuff I almost felt my mind did crack I walked along into our room Had a shower by the moon. I towelled me dry and climbed in bed The tears were there, refused to shed I lay there for a long long time When sleep did come it wasn't fine. The morning dawned and I could see A black dark room was choking me. I was so weary, so alone So very worn and felt like stone When I climbed out of the bed that morn Went to the mirror black and cold I rubbed a circle in the soot And then I saw a black face look The tears they were just brimming now I'd wiped me with a black black towel And then in bed when I did climb Was full of soot and gritty grime I stood and watch that face just then I didn't know if I could bend I knew that he just wasn't well How long could I still live in hell?
three nights. two days. waking in pain, feeling razors internally slicing inside. a dark girl, sitting on the sidelines. she doesnt understand the pain that he feels. so she sits by his side. holding his hand. rubbing ivory hands over a tanned back. vocal chords defying her, unable to speak words to soothe and comfort. just stay by me, he whispers, dont leave me. and he calls for his mother. you look away from his humiliation. then come the words of warning. he's worried about her. he doesnt want her to hurt herself, he doesnt want her to use weapons to replace her emptiness. its all to much for her to bear, and so she cries. she doesnt let him see her. its dark in the room, dimly lit by a lamp. the light hurts his eyes. the light shows her ugly side. and then another enters the room. plump like him. worried, dark bags under her eyes. she doesnt ask if the girl's alright. the girl understands priorities. she goes to sleep in her room, pulling the covers away from her body. opening the window. allowing air to flow over and under her body. the woman takes the man away, to the building filled with fluorescent lights, smelling of urine and pine trees, latex and hand sanitizer. priorities.
Sage, bows out in final rage As prairie shows its age And the seasons burn... Gone, is the summer upon A dark gray sky that's wan As tumbleweeds churn. Corn, stalks the dead frosty morn, Cold as the day we're born When all we did was cry. So, the far-flung geese do know When it's high time to go And all things must die. Soon, comes the dark mother moon Amid the scream of loon Across vast prairie. How, we heed the call of cow, No one knows even now-- But it just must be. Trees, so softly do appease And turn that final breeze To what yet must come. Chills, then starkly cringe the hills As that cold first frost kills And summer's struck dumb. Gone, is the summer upon A dark gray sky that's wan As tumbleweeds churn. Sage, bows out in final rage As prairie shows its age And the seasons burn...
i loked into her eyes so bright as if i were looking into the sun, my heart she had already won, it was something about her that i couldn't resist, i thought it was love but my eyes were filled with a dark mist, she loves me i thought as we looked into each others eyes, but i only loved her to my suprise, after all she knew how to manipulate and was a great pretender, now it's too late my all i've already surrenderd, it's now just a bunch of confusion, sometimes i wish it was all just an illusion, now i can see behind the cloud, i think its what she forgot to say aloud, my days began to seem so dark and cloudy, im scared because i dont't know what it is about me, i always seem to be so cold and trembling in fear, not knowing if i will awake i think death is near
She slowly rises from her coffin Making her way to the exit The exit marks the beginning of this entity's solitary journey Tears of blood stream down her face Blood from all of the wars she has fought An inquisitive eye can catch her battle scars Though she tries to keep them hidden They are revealed to any genuine soul That crosses her path That cares enough to inquire Powerful emotions overcome her and guide her She has to find her dark prince The one that left her alone Left her in a lonely solitude Her decaying soul takes a heavy toll on her She struggles to continue Then a rush of emotions engulf her senses She remembers the sentence of silence That she received by the dark Prince Her wrath carries her when she is too weak For a woman's emotions brings her power That power only intensifies beyond the grave Can you sense her now? A tear stained soul always remains chained to you In the late evening when you feel a sense of fright When you feel like someone is watching you Remember the one you sent away And know that it is she haunting you Once she unleashes her vengenance on you In her exhaustion she will lay her head on her grave And be able to rest peacefully For the book will finally be closed
You're a lie, You're an end of my novel that's missing, You're a sculpture That's carved by my hands out of ice, You're a portrait, Drawn perfectly, still not existing, You're a myth, An illusion, but idealized. From the height of your now shattered sky You look down at what's left of me, But you're scared behind your disguise, Figured out is your mystery. I'm a statue that just seems broken, I'm the truth that's still unspoken, I'm an arrow of love... What's love? - You've never known... I'm your fear, so deeply hidden, I'm the myth you don't believe in, And you never will - you cannot understand a word. I'm a rose That, however, just seems to be wilting, I'm spring - When my time comes, I die and revive. I'll come back... Not to you, for you'll never be missing me, Still I love you, My hero who wasn't alive. From the height of your dark shattered sky I fall down... you don't even see. Like my tears, I'm invisible now, Figured out is my destiny. I am me - no more your shadow, No more your twin soul, so shallow, No more your mirror, or your pillow, or your shield. I'm your fear, so deeply hidden, I'm the myth you don't believe in, And you never will - you cannot understand a word. From the height of your dark shattered sky I fall down... you don't even see. Like my tears, I'm invisible now, Figured out is my destiny. I'm a statue that just seems broken, I'm the truth that's still unspoken, I'm an arrow of love... What's love? - You've never known... I'm your fear, so deeply hidden, I'm the myth you don't believe in, And you never will - you cannot understand a word. I am me - no more your shadow, No more your twin soul, so shallow, No more your mirror, or your pillow, or your shield. I'm your fear, so deeply hidden, I'm the myth you don't believe in, And you never will - you cannot understand a word.
It's the children who suffer in loneliness, who feel the desolation in all its ugliness and bitterness; at such tender age,pain could definetly be an obstacle to the realization of those dreams promising to be so remarkable by leaving a mark so indelible... Those children who are left to unpleasant decisions, devastated by violence and the fear of their choices... will not refuse a stranger's kindness; and they,once afraid of strangers, become the profiteers and the abusers... doing the oppositive of what they were taught! It's the children who suffer in loneliness, who demoralize themselves when alternatives are the basic to their uncertain survival... It's the children who laugh even in tragic moments, to reject their unworthiness with clues they can't unravel! They walk in dark alleys, sleep in dark corners... dreaming of having a home: like the one they had before; don't ask for their names... they've lost their identity, because they'd rather forget... than bitterly regret! It's the children who suffer in loneliness, who pay dearly for someone's mistakes; and they sleep by day and wander by night: to find that affection that was denied them, feeling no ebarassment or shame!
its dark here in the folds of this life i can't see here in the halls of my life windows,i... have brought to life i can't hold onto what's in my hands i can't taste what's in my mouth i can't feel the love of my wife it's dark here in the folds of this life someone please, lead me out of this hell i can't hear the sounds of that bell that echoes through the space of my head it feels like i'm already dead i can't listen to what my mind tells me to do windows of a lifes past wrongs doors that opened to what never belonged it's dark here in the halls of my life
In the dark moments of morning, as the sun is yet to rise A faceless form awakens, inspiring chilling cries It lurks within the darkness, while unaware, we sleep As many then fall victim in the dormant hours they keep The moonlight beckons wandering, as it hauntingly entreats Selecting its new victims from the souls that dare to meet With charm and a seduction, it entices all who are about After giving a quick salutation, they then give in to shout The faceless form then takes from them, all it really needs Taking from them blood of life, on which it only feeds A curse bestowed in days of yore, when one had fed on it Living on, in death's cold grasp, because of once been bit Alone it ever wanders, through the dark corridors of life Invading all our nightmares, with stabs there like a knife Sad though, all it really wants then, is to live and to be seen For it must live its life alone, in the hours, in between
I'm sitting back and letting days slip by The window stares and shows me so much hate My heart still fades as I resent its lies I disappear as there's nothing left to hide Holding me away from hurting you I could bring you pain and burn you up inside There's still a part of me I think is true But if I looked I know I'd shoot you through The dark in me has claimed another day The things I see are begging me to stay The lies I hear still tell me it's ok But to be free I'll screw it all away The light is false, I know because I saw The space above is just a natural whore Without the dark there's no such thing as law The light I see is a reaction and a door I'm taking you apart I'll get inside your heart I'll bet you feel so smart I've screwed your mind and taken you to the start I've taken me apart I am inside my heart I am my work of art I've screwed my mind and I must now restart
Once again the sun still sleeps I haven't slept well for about two weeks Its not here, the dark is haunting me, I fear the the sun is taunting me. Why must the sun still be in hiding? How long will it be gone? Where could it be? Why is the sun asleep? There is no light Everything is pitch-black, All the surroundings are completely dark, The electricity does not give enough light, All the demons seem as if they will stay, They have not yet gone away, Not last week, and not tomorrow, When will the sun come out and end my sorrow? The sun still sleeps, The dark is making me weak, Why isn't there any light? Can we flee the dark when time brings night? I'm not sure if the sun ever will rise, Maybe it's just hidden from my eyes, I never realized how much I would miss the sun, But for now, the sun still sleeps....
It was dark and cold as he wandered the streets of Chicago Strangers were the only people he saw, he had no friends Searching nightly, he had never found her, the one he sought He needed to find her, for without her, his destiny ends Strangers were the only people he saw, he had no friends He was new to the city, but felt welcomed, when their eyes met Two in a crowd, for a moment, they shared a glance A face of an angel, truly a face he would never forget Searching nightly, he had never found her, the one he sought For she wandered in to the crowd and was lost then from view He ran, he stopped, he started again, searching everywhere Until, as the sun had gone down, his spirit did, too He needed to find her, for without her, his destiny ends He feels in his heart, that the two of them were destined to be Alas, he could not find her, in this big cold dark windy place But he would never stop trying, else his heart shan't be free
The light of the sun will shine down Hiding all of those little frowns The rainbow is painting your mask Illusions are an every day task The heat of the sun will delude The greatest minds are its fruit It helps you become your belief Your sun is not my relief I live in dark I can see Your hate, pain and envy I thought I just saw you die In my eyes you're just another lie The minute that I step into light It's blinding, it's far too bright Stop me before I am dead You're pushing, killing instead Please, show mercy on me Controlling what wants to be free Just because you cannot see Doesn't mean I cannot believe You've killed me I lived in dark and could see Your hate, pain and envy I know you have died So many times, how much lies? I crawl back into the dark Your lies have just hit their mark Darkness is now the thing that I crave Anything else is just another grave Lift me up and surprise I now feel so high The mask will fade from my face I'm free now in every way You keep trying to pull me from this Why can't I be with bliss?
Depression is like the big, black spider, Sitting upon its web, glistening with the very tears of my sorrow. It lurks in the darkest of my thoughts, And pierces my broken heart, Penetrating, and leaking in its poison. The fear it casts is known, Though it's time to strike is not. It sits in the darkest corner of my mind, Feeding on the despair in my heart. And when it gets strong enough, All it will take is one wrong step, One step, for my thoughts to walk into that dark corner, Where the spider lurks. And the spider will strike, Piercing me with those poisonous fangs, Filled with the poison of my own emotions. The spider will strike, and all will be lost. I will fall forever into that dark corner, Until the poison from my own mind, Will be enough to bring my suffering to an end. And it will be there, that the web of my tears will dry, And that very spider will die.