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These Funny Lyric poems are examples of Funny poems about Lyric. These are the best examples of Funny Lyric poems written by international PoetrySoup poets
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That he planned his funeral is factual And being a prankster quite actual He prerecorded his voice So when we kneeled on the joist He said, "Hi there! Don't I look natural."
There was a Starship Enterprise, It was the ruler of the skies, But you don't really care for sci-fi, do you? With Captain Kirk And Mr Spock And don't forget the trademark jock, And there upon the bridge you'll find Uhura Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura You'll find Bones Macoy down in sickbay, "I'm a doctor Jim" he'd say, And cure whatever space bug ran through you, He'll banish away every cough, Even if your name's Chekov, Or perhaps you might be sweet Uhura Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura To make the starship up and go, The man you really need to know, Is the Helm officer called Sulu, But if it's a message you'd like to send, Then of course you can depend, Upon the talented Miss Uhura, Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura Your voyage lasted three short years But despite the trekkie's fears, It wouldn't be the last time that we'd view you, Of feature films there'd be twelve, Before the franchise they would shelve, But we won't forget you dear Uhura Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura Oh Uhura
[Verse-1] I watched you walk by yesterday, and yes again you turned and looked away You never give me the time of day, and you're always looking sad and grey A small piece of lace from your pink dress, is all that's left of you and me Wish I could take back yesterday, when I went astray and set you free I wish I could find the words to say, instead of making you look away Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace [Verse-2] I know that I still need your love, because my heart is always feeling blue And I guess I'll never be the same, for playing around and being untrue You gotta know this isn't what I wanted, cause now I'm always on my knees But I can see how you like your freedom, of being with him and not with me But baby a twist of fate's what tore us apart, and placed this look upon my face Oh! it's still funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace [Chorus] A piece of lace from your pink dress, keeps putting me down won't let me rest And these cloudy skies are back today, holding my heart and soul at bay I pray you come and take this lace, and wipe these tears from my face Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace [Verse-3] All those things that you used to do, is what made me fall in love with you You gave me your all once upon a time, but like a fool I up and flew And the things I went and said that day, made you fade and drift away I never shoulda treated you that way, cause baby I need you here today The sun keeps hiding behind the clouds, and all I do is sit and cry And this piece of lace holds my heart at bay, I don't know...maybe it's a sign [Chorus] A piece of lace from your pink dress, keeps putting me down won't let me rest And these cloudy skies are back today, holding my heart and soul at bay I pray you come and take this lace, and wipe these tears from my face Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace
Up, down, up, down Oh what a ride, Round and round, round and round, I've got quite a feeling inside, Ever constant revolutions, My stomach just gave me a hunch. Up, down, around, RETCH!!! Oh dear, I've just lost my lunch.
[verse-1] Tonight it feels like, the end of the world Tonight you showed me, you were never my girl I wonder do you know, what my heart is doing Well girl it's breaking in two, since you've gone [verse-2] Go ahead tell those lies, to all your friends Go ahead tell them, what a big fool i've been I wonder will you tell them, you have a heart of stone Or will you call them, and joke about me on the phone [chorus] Well be sure to tell them, how you broke my heart And how funny it was, when I set down and cried Tell them how, you tore my world apart 'Cause I know, you won't tell them how you lied [verse-3] You're gonna have to be careful, when you're drinking You're gonna have to be sober, when you're bragging You'll have to learn to shut your mouth, when your wasted Or everyone will no your a liar, and how your mind is twisted [chorus] Well be sure you tell them, how you broke my heart And how funny it was, when I set down and cried And tell them how, you tore my world apart 'Cause girl I know, you won't tell them how you lied
Cold stares heart tares
I found a job at last Well, I worked hard for twenty year For a greedy type of bloke I pushed and pulled until me legs went weak Then one day I felt this twinge It ran right down me spine So I went out, some doctors help to seek Now I can't sit, and I can't walk Can't even wash me feet So off I goes to see this medico He looked me over knowingly As if he understood! Then said "You're doing fine, now off you go" So off I goes to get a job I gave some boss a call But when he saw the way it was for me He said "I can't give you a job! You're stuffed my boy, that's all Oh, don't tell me about your misery". I tried for an insurance claim They said "we know you're kind!! You say you're hurt, but is this really true? To get some money out of us You'll have to test our might We deem you fit to get a job, we do" Well now I've got myself a job It's a breeze, I must confess I lie her licking postage stamps all day When I said I couldn't work I forgot about me tongue So now I've got a job, and it's okay. Written in 1990
The pen is mightier than the sword What is it about some people? Have they no minds of all To me their puppets on a string As they follow all the rules Whether they make sense at all That's all beside the point They believe all that their leaders say When it comes to the simple joint! Our leaders they have called the shots On this and all that matters They come to us on the TV set And I hear their foolish chatter Our premier with pigeon mind Was heard to say one day That cannabis is a killer drug Or almost any way. Now I have smoked for forty years And not once have I ever Suffered from this gentle weed These leaders might be clever Or think they are, through their position But to me they're simply fools But they give me cause to laugh out loud They're so damned comical. 23 July 2013 @ 1133hrs.
< dancing to the hit song monster mash frankenstein and werewolf got real smashed took the witches culdeen and boiled up mummys spleen Quasimodo joined in on the bash witches brew of brains spleens gizzards hearts illuminates party from it's start Dracula and zombies lurking for free bodies poor old frankie's wife just fell apart the bewitching dance came to its end when bats flew in frenzy around den on this all hallows eve trickery was up sleeve sent my 3 black cats in to defend
I had to write this poem because I thought of this one great line, What do you think - will it stand the test of time? Well, I had to write it down to deter other poets stealing this idea; You know lines are clutched from the atmosphere, Or they fall like apples, spill over like beer. I had to write this poem, Because I thought of this one great line; Like a beat messiah, My acid milk turns to wine. And now I feel fine, and your pleasure in my one sparkling line. I had to write this poem, Hidden in this gem of a line.
She was a tappin' to the tunes... of those Mississippi blues... step-pin' out, in her white... Pat-en-leather shoes, We were a watchin' her a prancin', all through the kitchen, dancin'... for she was so...hot & sizzlin'... hummin' to those Mississippi tunes... Funny curlers too, upon... her head...for a new... Hair dew,... she was, a swirlin'-in that bakers apron, when her head...star-ted a bobbin' to... those Mississip-pi blues, 'Pots were a knockin'... Grandma a sockin' down all she brews, while that kettle there was whistlin', in har-mo-ny, with them good ole... good ole...mississip-pi moves,' That floor there, was a bouncin' holdin' hands we were a jumpin', an-a hoppin' In the kitchen, to those... sounds ... Where Grandma's feet were a stompin', In her new...New-white-sexy-pat-en- leather-shoes... (ya hoo)
I wouldn't wanna be anybody else, hey You made me insecure, to me I wasn't good enough But who are you to judge When you're a diamond in the rough I'm sure you got some things You'd like to change about yourself But when it comes to me I wouldn't want to be anybody else I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me You got every right to a beautiful life, come on Who says, who says you're not perfect Who says you're not worth it Who says you're the only one that's hurting Trust me that's the price of beauty Who says you're not pretty Who says you're not beautiful, who says? It's such a funny thing How nothing's funny when it's you You tell 'em what you mean But they keep whitin' out the the truth It's like the work of art That never get to see the light Keep you beneath the stars Won't let you touch the sky I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me You got every right to a beautiful life, come on Who says, who says you're not perfect Who says you're not worth it Who says you're the only one that's hurting Trust me that's the price of beauty Who says you're not pretty Who says you're not beautiful, who says? Who says you're not star potential Who says you're not presidential Who says you can't be in movies Listen to me, listen to me Who says you don't pass the test Who says you can't be the best Who said, who said? Would you tell me who said that, yeah Who said Who says, who says you're not perfect Who says you're not worth it Who says you're the only one that's hurting Trust me that's the price of beauty Who says you're not pretty Who says you're not beautiful, who says? Who says you're not perfect Who says you're not worth it Who says you're the only one that's hurting Trust me that's the price of beauty Who says you're not pretty Who says you're not beautiful, who says
Omniscient guy Yet he lets bad things happen How can he exist?
It's gonna be a simple southern Christmas here. All I want from Santa is some egg nog, bourbon and beer. I'm gonna wait on Santa Christmas Eve night, and when he's not lookin' I just might, steal his reindeer. It's gonna be a simple southern Christmas here. I'm sending out my Christmas cheer. I'm gonna sit on my front porch swing and sing. It will be a good thing to hear those jingle bells ring. I thought I seen Santa on the backwoods bayou road, but instead it was a big fat toad. It'a a wonderful simple southern Christmas here. Santa just brought me some egg nog, bourbon, and beer. When he wasn't lookin' I stole his reindeer. So now I can deliver my Christmas cheer. But hurry, hurry, I'm in a rush, got to give that reindeer a little push. Got to go, got to go, got to get home to fix my gumbo. It is Christmas day, and I'm in a rush I must say. It's gonna be a simple southern Christmas here. Just add egg nog, bourbon and beer. Mix it up with some Christmas cheer. I'm ready for Christmas every year.
Yes we don't give a toss, If your package is lost, That's logistics, If it's broken or bent, Or has multiple dents, That's logistics, If it's fragile and breaks, It was not our mistake, That's logistics, Well you were not at home, So we sent it to Rome, That's logistics! So incredibly late, That it's gone out of date, That's logistics, We don't know where it went, Are you sure it was sent? That's logistics, Your parcels we'll stash, But we'll still take your cash, That's logistics, What an item on time?! Oh no wait, it's not mine, That's logistics!
Pan and Satan. One morning I was walking in my garden When old Jupiter came up close to me. And standing by his side stood fair Demeter Who smiled at me so warm and tenderly. She said "my son we've come to give our blessings And we've a story we would like to tell. Of how the great God Pan turned into Satan And child I hope that you will listen well. For Pan he was the god of natures beauty And he wore no taint till Satan came along. He'd play his pipes so gaily in the meadows Though sometimes there was mischief in his song. Then Satan said to pan "well I don't give a damn I'm going to steal your horns and make you me. Then I'll build a master plan and strike some fear in man So always he will live in misery. And that's the way old Pan became young Satan Yet still the old one dances deep within. But if the two had never joined together Then where would dwell the ugliness of sin. 1990
(to the tune of "Winter Wonderland") See the frost, watch it glisten Too much beer, I'm on a mission To write my name in the snow With a funny yellow glow Walkin' with my wiener in my hand! Got a trenchcoat that I'm wearing So that I can do some "sharing" Maybe my legs are too white That gives 'em a fright Walkin' with my wiener in my hand! At the lounge we were chillin' After time, my bladder's fillin' I stagger left and then right Hope I make it in time Walkin' with my wiener in my hand! Feels so good to drain my lizard From behind I hear a whisper "I hope you'll be done soon, 'cause you're in the ladies room!" Walkin' with my wiener in my hand!
pillar of trumpets are no match in a garden for the hummingbird
Clip it on and don't think twice Clip it on cuz it looks nice. Clip it on so you know where it is at. Clip it on maybe to a hat. Clip it on so it does not fall off. Clip it on so your pet don't runaway. Clip it on so it stays in place. Clip it on in outer space. Clip it on every day. Clip it on around the world. JUST CLIP IT ON.
Your love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and i'm through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried by the dove of someone I use to know.
Hard to Forget Earie the mournin I had the cock screw At the aftunun, I washed the sunnin gay Im just wanderin ova evrytin Evry momen we shed in our useful days Refrain Hoe kan I stop to lovin ye (no...w) Hoe kan I cease to make ye hapi Hoe kan I resixt ye in ma laive (that's why) I'll holeways loaf ye delhi Steel remembrin when we melt Steel remembrin tins we shed 2 gender Hoe suit those day we spent worse Hoe wail down memo lane to bring on the murder... Refrain I kan't just forgate evrytin... I steel rememba well we melt I steel rememba the time we shed I steel rememba... evrytin evrytin Refrain So is tru the world is mall I kan't beliv I fall in lob Yeah I fall in and fet no same Is there any crown in being in lob? Very hard, very very hard Hard to forget Very hard, very very hard Hard to forget For I'm in love ooooo This is hard to forgo. For: Roy Jerden's Malapropisms and Mondegreens Contest
Quit my job, smashed my car My back does throb, need to learn guitar So I can make, a silly song And I can sing, it all day long About how, my God is strong So that even now, nothing's wrong Even though, I quit my job smashed my car, my back does throb Life is hard, but I've got God So I won't let any thought Any worry or fear Convince me you're not near Even when, I quit my job, Smashed my car, my back does throb Life is hard, but I won't sob I need to learn guitar
She chose a red scarf. The most red of them all. Of a dark red, a sweet and thick red color, just as wine. She carved from the red scarf from the middle to the size of a Martini glass. Then she carved one more glass, and she kept carving till she fell asleep. Yesterday she saw her Beloved Moth flirting with a Younger Moth, carving together from a sweater while she was getting busy, carving in the shelves. The Unhappy Moth drank lots of wine woolen wine, last night. She drank lots, too much for a Moth. The Unhappy Moth got drunk and fell asleep on the red scarf, unhidden with a heart filled with peace. She was not afraid no more. Now she could be seen easily, laying on the scarf and easily crushed. The Unhappy Moth was not afraid of death no more, at least, now she knew how wonderful the red scarfs are and that they taste like red wine.
Pop may be catchy But not lyrically deep Case in point: Chris Brown. (N.B. Poem written after hearing "Don't Wake Me Up")
Let's lose weight, Let's discover the yin and yang of protein and complex carbohydrate. It's never too late to let your corporeal fat eat cake. So let's lose weight. And, then? Then, let's look inside your cavernous space, And discover your previously hidden, And uniquely transcendent, And unparagoned, Blissful Essence. Let's go! Let's lose weight. Because it's the only way - to lose weight. Let's deflate your billowing concertina face. Let's drain away those flabby bingo-arm thighs; Sight the edacity: I snack, I die. Chant: For I am Spirit, pure and eternal..For I am Spirit, pure and eternal.. Let's lose weight. Pain-feast your lingua-nausea mantra; Really utilise your hidden pneuma matter. Oh, and, The flashing lights, the tingling arms? Mouth striking shapes to burglar alarms? Perhaps, a smidgen of self harm? Tremors, blushing, perspiring, shaking, flushing? That's okay: If it ain't hurting.. It's a positive thing to focus there your self-hate. It's not easy to lose weight - Especially when you refuse to lose weight. No, we mustn't allow your feckless mentalism to dictate. Instead, Appreciate yourself depreciate: Scale away your inducing corpus, And irrigate. Irrigate. Stare yourself down, reflecting off your plate. Speed-read all my magazines: Glean the enlightened screed of my shapely New Age dream; Allow me to melt away your pizza footprint; Gracefully fade you to your sculpted meme. Unsuicide bomb those spare tyres with love. Vacuum-pack your stomach with tender wires - see above. Let's lose weight. And strike your utter repose! And you'll soon delightedly discover your swooning lover, And how the sweet mirror shall melt of you! Be like a sliver of crystal glass; As svelte as the skin of flowing water; Skim through the air like a flying saucer; Writhe your multi-orgasmic tiger, Deposing ounces, you shall footfall utopia. Let's lose weight. You can do it! ..For I am Spirit, pure and eternal.. Let's go! for more humorous verse: sukispangles dot blogspot.com
With heaping speed like the flash Am ah make a dash My bed calls, dive in... splashhh It was an honor and a pleasure Poetry writers you'll so clever Poetrysoup had me in a spell O! well, farewell... Goodnight ya'll Catch you on the rebound Tomorrow then, sleep now call 10:30 PM zzzzz-ing sound My bed Callsssssss ©Copyright January 22, 2012 by Brian Pierre-Alexander © All Rights Reserved
Welcome to The Garden Gnome Shopping Channel, And, If this is your first time here - Why? Where have you been? We mass produce uniquely, Our gnome-lines are refreshed twice-weekly, Each gnome has it's own i.d number, So rest assured, One can never be mistaken for another. Mould-engineered by plastic injection craftsmen, Then hand-finished by aerosol paint artisans, Your garden gnome is guaranteed authentic - Their bobble-hatted face won't drip, And their shatter-proof head will nod happily on windy days. We are the only licensed garden gnome sellers in the UK. So what are you waiting for? Rome wasn't built in a day, But our gnomes are, Meaning your gnome could be with you within thirty-six hours, Or - if you require it urgently - within twenty-four, And it will cost you only four pounds more, Couriered directly from our air-conditioned warehouse in Bangalore. sukispangles.blogspot.com
As we stop, I pull out my jar of Vic's vapor rub I put some up my nostrils, this job you cannot love But it pays the bills, I make my living Trash day is when people are most giving They are selfless when getting rid of what they see as junk Whew! That smell from the back of a garbage truck I spot a pair of shoes for my kid I will wash them first, get rid of the odor of rotted squid My niece's birthday is coming up soon I found a playhouse with dishes, forks, cups and spoons It's family night tonight at home The unknown video I found will be shown Finding the right stuff is a matter of luck It is just my point of view from the back of a garbage truck I found a half a bucket of KFC I take a smell, it smells as fresh as can be, what a surprise for my family Two hours later, the family can't keep their meal down They are so ungrateful about the food I found I am on a strict budget, I have to find a way to save a couple bucks More dinners will be found because I work on the back of a garbage truck
You don't want to miss this But don't be confused this aint Christmas You've gotta get real my brotha and kiss this I'm a spiritual criminal with lipstick If you're lucky you just might make my hit list Coz I'm a murderer killing *****es ego's with fake riffs If you're a moral criminal and do the minimal you can't hit this We must stand together my brother to beat this Pleasure - pain, generosity - blame, loss - gain infamy and greed It's not hard don't get angry and there's no need to bleed It's just like John Lennon said when he said love is all you need Stand with me my friend and let go of fear if you want to be freed I'll mind punch you in the heart and give you a soul diss Aint no big brotha gonna hold me and frisk this You're not lost or all alone coz my arrows fire straight and can't miss Things aint changed and love can still fix this Pleasure pain, Generosity blame, loss gain infamy and greed It's not hard don't get angry and there's no need to bleed It's just like John Lennon said when he said love is all you need Stand with me my friend and let go of fear if you want to be freed Love -love- love is all you need
I really love myself, I'll do bad and good things, I'll make things easier, I'd like to face my problems. I can change my life in an easier way, Now I'm sitting here like a rocking chair. I really know, How to make all this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I can do this all things, In a different ways. Go! go! go! go! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Funny person in everyday, I make many person happy in a day, I've wanted to have more friends, Like many people live in our earth. Everyday is a happy day, Like everyone do this to their self, I've wanted to have more friends, Like many people live in our earth.
To Dine, To Die; Conversations spiral While thunderous eyes Grasp concepts to recycle. Constant debt crisis A political paradox Grating social devices Over the sorting of socks. Pseudo-analysis An endless groan Argumental paralysis The debate grants no throne. Existentialism Over a roast Potatoes won't listen To who talks the most. "That point is so interesting" The floor is open for chat "What is real?" not a thing "Meow" adds the cat.
I'm locking up my house, because it's that time for thieves. I need to Santa proof my place, because It's Christmas Eve. If he does get in, I'm going to run and hide. I left out some milk and cookies with rat pellets inside. While he's eating the cookies and he's starting to sweat. The reindeer will be caught in security nets. "I'm sorry boys and girls, but Santa has to retire!" I'm going to tie him to the tree and set poor Santa on fire. Then I'm going to take the toys and keep them all to myself. Even though I've been bad, no coals will be on my shelf. Merry Christmas to me! This year is going to be grand! I'll get whatever I want, if Christmas goes as I planned! Wearing Santa Claus' suite I'll get in houses without keys. In twenty seven minutes I'll rob twenty seven trees! So all you little brats, don't you cry and sob. With the recession and depression, I just needed a job. A lot of things are going to change, but you all shouldn't be sad. Now that I'm the new Santa, It doesn't matter who's bad. I'll use the elves as my slaves and the toys will still come. Instead of a Nintendo, you'll get a gallon of rum. Toy guns are for babies, how about the real thing? A candy neckless won't impress, I'll make sure that it's bling. You said you wanted a pony? How about a deer that can fly? No more lousy presents, no more socks, or bad ties. I'll change... Wait... Wait a minute... Was that all just a dream? Why do I only have coal under the tree and in my stocking? Santa please come back! I promse I'll be better next year! I promise I'll be good and I'll spred more Christmas cheer! Did Santa Claus come back? Did he come like I thought he should? No Santa didn't, but next year I'll be good! I'll only do what is right, aleast to his satisfaction. So he comes back to my house, and my plan goes back into action!
By Sashi.Prabhu(zeauoxian0 (18th February 2012 nite at Kentucky shack on colva beach) I was browsing through the menu and laid my eyes upon interesting cocktails and mock tails. I snapped up the names with the blackberry camera and wove them together to couplets. Dedicate this one to my friends who love and cherish the cocktails and mock tails. Cheers…………………………… With love from zeauoxian, black lady, Tom Collins, Three peaks merlot, white lady, John Collins. Between the sheets, pink pusy, screaming orgasm, Pink lady, lost bikini, orgasm. Misty nite, hairy navel, ding a ling, Sunset, buttock clencher, Singapore sling. Lady killer, fuzzy navel, coconut diaquiry, Bloody Mary, fenny wenny woo woo, orange diaquiry. Pure calypso, climax, kick in the balls, Caribbean fever, planter's punch, rocks for the dolls. Peach pleasure, tequila sunrise, margarita, Pina coloda, sunset, caipirnha. Coco colada, slippery dick, the hammer, Gimlet, sweet nips, tequila slammer. Passona orange, passona lime, sex on the beach, Orange blossom, lime blossom. Passionate peach. Gin fiz, Cuba libre, Roby Roy, Black lagoon, black Russian, beach buoy. Fight fiesta, stinger rum cocktail, side car, Negroni, pink elephant, brandy lime shot from the bar. Mohjito, long island iced tea, whiskey sour, Renaissance merlot, vina tarapoca chardonnay. All these heady concoction, Many of them and lots of action. The science of achohol blending, of the art of mixology, All these to the tipper is fun and to do with a smooth tripology!!!!!!!!
The busy bee carried the nector From one flower to another Moved her exhausted wings, struggled like Hector She fall, but she shall die but not serve the Queen mother But today was so bizarre She was the only one working hard She saw a bee sitting on a flower smoking a cigar And a servant bee, in a Jaguar car "What is going on?" she said Many questions were in her head When she returned home, all bees were in bed "Oh, no one is working" she said Bees were not eating honey but bread "I am going to tell the Queen" she said She went to the Queen's room, with a heavy head "Oh" the Queen was with a servant bee in bed "What do you want , you idiot bee?" "Busy bees I can no longer see" "Are you dump? Today is free" "A vocation, can't you see?" The bee woke up with a heavy head "Oh, what a nightmare" she sadly said
There's a teacher named Gerkey. He sells lots of jerky. If you won't pay, he'll send you away, and you won't get jerky form Gerkey.
Written to the tune of "Jingle Bells" Here in Florida, We don't get any snow, We don't have sleighs to ride, But we do have mistletoe! For a little Christmas jaunt, We'll drive 'round after dark, To view the Christmas-lighted homes, And displays at the park. Ho! Ho! Ho! He! He! He! Christmas time is here. Let's deck the halls and shop the malls, To spread some Christmas cheer! Ho! Ho! Ho! He! He! He! Christmas time is here. Let's deck the halls and shop the malls, To spread some Christmas cheer! Driving through the rain, In a souped up Cheverolet, Traffic's moving slow, But hey, that's A-okay. Christmas carols blare, From the Chevy's radio, We're having fun singing along, Making words up as we go! Ho! Ho! Ho! He! He! He! Christmas time is here. Let's deck the halls and shop the malls, To spread some Christmas cheer! Ho! Ho! Ho! He! He! He! Christmas time is here. Let's deck the halls and shop the malls, To spread some Christmas cheer! 12/4/2011 for Debbie Guzzi's Deja vu Christmas contest. Trying to think of a Christmas song or story that I could modernize, Jingle Bells popped in my head. I live in Florida and it doesn't (usually) snow here, so tried to come up with a snowless version of the song.
A duet in the style and melody of Home On The Range (Palestine) Oh, give me a land where no Hebrews stand where Palestine could live and shine where seldom is seen a Rabbi or 'stein and Jerusalem could be all mine (chorus) Land, land without Jews where Palestine could live and shine where seldom is seen a Rabbi or 'stein and Jerusalem could be all mine (Israel) You don't understand, God gave us this land where Palestine would hate and whine where seldom it seems, peace is a dream and Jerusalem should be all mine (chorus) Land, land of the Jews where Palestine still hates and whines where seldom it seems, peace is the dream and Jerusalem shall be all mine a parody to the tune of 'Home, Home on the range" written by Warner Baxter One Knight Stand Productions all rights reserved
Showing me the expensive bangle on her wrist She asked, "Will you buy me something like this ? " If you do, you can take me out again What do you say ' Yes ' or ' No ' ? Looking at the bangle I knew it cost a lot To take her out for a hot date One day a bangle, another day a necklace Her needs will never end until my pocket is empty I managed to get a fake smile on my face I saw another fake smile on her crooked face I knew money is the only reason for this date Her eyes are not on my face but on the bulged wallet It won't last long and it's unhealthy I told to myself without thinking twice Somehow I happend to control myself I just said, " You get nothing when you come with me ". Her response was so quick,"You are so cheap " I had a hysteric laugh inside me I said loud to her , "I think you are the cheap and not me" ' "You know why? You come for something and not for Love " I am not looking for that kind of date It is easy to get and I don't need it She tried to change the topic, "I was just kidding you" I knew it is a lie and I put a full stop on that relationship.
living for the moment ended life as we knew it but i'm just doing whatever kind of hoping for some entertainment along the way a day in the life of the sunny day blues man hands down this is the best i ever was the best i'll ever be don't you agree the sunny day blues man isn't it funny the way news slants the return of the sunny day blues man just be happy with what you choose man Never a better option than a given hand thank god for the sunny day blues man hope isn't a measure it's just tested time a clamp of suspense when the moments array an echo of needs to balance out the ways things seem desire is the best you and I will ever be don't you agree the sunny day blues man isn't it funny the way news slants the return of the sunny day blues man just be happy with what you choose man Never a better option than a given hand thank god for the sunny day blues man at times life seems to cycles signals of distress vanity and cupcakes i know, it's a brute mess but along with the irony comes pancakes yes, the madness seems to iron me yet i am still here the eyes a thinker life of a fighter hands of a lighter weight unburdened when smiles reflected a pinch of hurting because in punishment the sunlight just couldn't outreach the curtains though we take the steps alike we trespass the worries to vaguely but it was times like these that made me and it's the best i'll ever be "the things we accept in steps of courage"
I once robbed a bank so I could get high, Yeah I stole all their money, I wanted to fly. Now I'm sitting in jail, wondering why... But I made a new best friend, Jimmy's just like me and we're gonna bust outta this prison so we can be free - and the first thing we're gonna try, yeah we gonna get high. CHORUS (in progress) Well we broke out and we partied, now the stuff's all gone, but we got a great new plan we're working on while singing this song... Yeah we're gonna rob a bank and get high Jimmy and I. Sitting In jail, back again, How could we fail, Jimmy my friend? Well, we left in such a hurry we forgot to take the money had to go back again CHORUS (in progress) Now the moral of the story is that you shouldn't get high 'cause if you don't get started you won't be tempted to try something so stupid that'll land you in the slammer like Jimmy and I. No, you don't wanna be in the slammer like Jimmy and I.
Black Mistress That's what I'm suppose to be Oh, no not me I'm not coming second to another woman No woman is coming before me Black Mistress That's what I'm suppose to be Come get your clothes if you can't spend the holidays with me You live with her not me Black Mistress You want to buy my love when you want please Oh, no not me I have my own and I'm not selling my goods to no one but I'm still not cheap
It's funny how you want to be with me, you just dont know im a lil freak if you cross the line Imma make you see what kind of freak (I can be) you wanna be my one and only man follow the rules you gotta understand get down (ahh) get dirty I need a freak just like me It's funny how you want to be with me, you just dont know im a lil freak if you cross the line Imma make you see what kind of freak (I can be) I got fellaz droppin drowse like rain from the clouds I relax, sit back, and chill while im sippin on crystal I know I look very classy but I can get real nasty just cross the line with me I can teach you freak termonolgy
My cat went a roaming to find a new home. Sing kitty,sing katty,sing Oh! This cat was so clever he had his own comb. Look up,now look down,stone the crows! He went into the neighbours' and drank all their milk. Sing,fridge raiding kitties.No,No! Then he laid himself down on a piece of fine silk. Sing,what the dickens,my lovely pillow! He went to the butcher and ate all the steak. Sing greedy,he's ruined my flow. Then he went to the hairdresser for a shampoo. Where else can a puttitat go? He had no plastic,no money,no cheque! Sing,cheater,sing creature,sing woe. She sent for a Copper who paid the cat's bill. And so my puss came out all aglow. Now my cat was glossy and plump and refreshed. Sing:fancy,it all goes to show. So he came home and said this place is best. And he picked up his cello and bow. He scraped some Sibelius and also some Grieg. Sing: Northern lights can always glow. But,he looked so self satisfied,I felt annoyed.... One should not let one's narcissism show. But he was so handsome,I was glad he came home. Sing,grateful,sing katefull,sing Ho! And I hope he will never again want to roam. Sing glory.sing story;Sing So!
Don't go anywhere, my dear Don't leave me here Stay in my heart or stay in my liver I'm with you leave me never Watching you watching you Catching you catching you I love you I hold you I kiss you I scold you Talk to me and walk with me Touch me and dance with me Oh I did not give you the meals and rest That's why you have proved to be the best If I love this way to a man He will feel tortured and frustrated You are my darling you are my dog I feel proud of you oh my lovely blacky I chose you to love you you are so different but yet again You love me hug me and bear a lot Yet people say why love the dog?
I had a dolly His name was Bearry He was so lazy He ate so many His cheek was chubby I called him fatty I loved my cute Bearry Still with the Bearry He cool already In blue he's steady He was so fancy He wore on classy He likes to boogie He is my cool Bearry Author's Note: This is a song of "There Was a Pig" Inspired by my student who always brings her blue teddy bear wherever she goes, and always tells stories as if it was alive. At that time she hummed the piggy song and I've got inspired to change the lyric become "My Blue Bearry Song" it's because the teddy bear named Bearry and its blue in colour.
I think I've seen you in my dreams, you're matching every description. Your love is like a drug, I'd kill to fill the prescription. You give me so much excitement, like when babies are born. You're the only flower I see that's in this garden of thorns. You must be Jamaican, because you're Jamaican me crazy. Let's get a place together and maybe raise up a baby. A lot of people call me Trav, but you can call me tonight. You have the most beautiful eyes in the world, just like the stars they shine bright. If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? You could make a shy guy try and make a blind man see. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. You've got me floating like a feather, and I want to feel this way forever. You may think these are just lines, or maybe all the above, but please read this with your heart, because you're the woman I love.
"The Kitty and the Bunny" is a children's song, sung to the tune of "Pop! Goes the Weasel". 'Round and 'round the dogwood tree Kitty chased the Easter Bunny, 'Til Bunny tossed an egg That broke Kitty's leg; And Kitty cried, "This game ain't fun-ny!". Bonus activity: Give children some crayons and paper and have them turn this poem into a comic strip. Tell them you would use four boxes for your comic strip: one showing Kitty chasing the bunny, the next one showing the bunny tossing an egg, the next showing kitty holding his paw, and the last one showing tears streaming down Kitty's face. But, tell children they can use as few or as many boxes as they like for their comic strips and even change the storyline. The dogwood tree becomes an apple tree and bunny is seen pelting Kitty with apples. Perhaps squirrels join in the fight and start throwing acorns at Kitty.
I was heading to the bunkhouse, after a wild night on the town dancing & romancing & one too many round Back in my wild & woolly days, one more rowdy Saturday night full of cheap beer & whiskey & the necessary fight I set Ol' Gus on auto pilot, he knew the way back to the spread And I set to fighting with those rotgut demons dancing in my head We were getting pretty close to home, so I eased up on the bit when all of a sudden that dang horse he up & quit His ears were all pricked forward, listening quite intense I caught a drift of what might pass for music, somewhere beyond the fence It took a lot of persuading, cussing & cajoling but I got ol' Gus headed for all the caterwauling the sound got more peculiar as we crested the hill the memory of what I saw that moonlit night stays with me still for I had stumbled on a peculiar party, hosted by a peg leg dog and there was a one eyed pole cat doing comedic monologue A Blueberry Roan soon took the stage, singing Motley Crue I swear I saw a big ol' ornery hog with a "born to squeal" tattoo There were bulls & Heifers dancing, I couldn't believe my eyes why those bovine wore spikes and body piercings, in places utterly unwise There where horses with mohawk hairdos head banging to the song I swear to you, Ol' Gus, he began to sway & sing along Now I know what you're thinking & I most heartily agree it was the moon & wind playing tricks, along with rotgut whiskey You city folks can keep your pink elephants parading in tutus for this cowboy was shown the light by a Roan in blue suede shoes I gave up hell raising & carousing, said so long to the honky-tonk life Happy now to stick to ranching & dancing under the moon with my wife But every now & again, when the wind blows & the moon is shining bright I swear I can hear the livestock laughing & head banging through the night
Listening to the rhythm of the beat I move my feet the speakers Blowing loud every time we meet When i speak it seems like My flow is so sick i can't eat Anorexia dementia from my lack of similac Crack back to snap back i bounce back Then sit down fall back an relax
"Thank you for being a friend", that's how it goes. Blanche will fly whichever way the wind blows. "Traveled down the road and back again", is what they sing. Rose waits for a light bulb, clueless to everything. "Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidante", goes the next line. Sophia shares her sarcastic wisdom, making rose trick a mime. "And if you threw a party, invited everyone you knew", as the song plays. Here comes Dorothy, intelligent and bossy, so set in her ways. "you would see, the biggest gift would be from me" It's almost done. The Golden girls bring so much fun. "And the card attached would say" as the show portrays, "Thank you for being a friend". Sophia, Dorothy, Blanche and Rose, for eachother, a helping hand to lend. The show possesses what the song does imply. The women"s friendship a binding tie. A tribute to them as the legend lives, Their warmth and caring continues to give. April Wilson-"The Golden Girls"
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It's amazing how quick things can change. First your running with the kings, and then you're knocked out of range. It's strange. I used to worry and stress over friends. Now I've grown to be a man. Maybe know a few of them. All that time I could of studied. Did better in school. Got a job and made it big. Maybe now I'd be cool. Who's the fool? Now who's the bull? I know that's not me on the top. Life is always making turns weather you like it or not. The past will always be the past. My glory days may seem gone. But, now its time to start a new.The stories keep coming on. I've got a new girl. She means the world to me. She keeps me warm at night, my best friend, my new dream. Since my car accident, still got a limp on one side. Still working with my memory, still need a friend who can drive. I love to Karaoke. I get noticed in bars. My mom's always there to catch me. Tom's working with my mom's cars. My sister's in the Army, my niece is a big part of my life, Friend Zach keeps assholes off me, and God is my wife. AJ's always there to help, Brian is my LOST bud, Mary's out of school, Lil cousin, Hunter's a stud. Grandpa still is my idol, JT is still the music man . The Adam's still can party. Chris, living good on the sand. I may only use one hand, but I plan to be the best. At all I do in life, cause there's not that much time left. The blood test that I took says Landon is mine. I hope this all works out fine in time and help to make my son's life shine. JC who's down in Georiga, my heart is screaming for you. I hope that you recover well. It can't be worse then what I went through. Uncle Jimmy where you at? Where's Matt, Corie, and Pete? I know you all are doing good. Serviolo's are a hard team to beat. How's the rest of the family? I love and miss you all! I hope you all are standing tall and I pray we never fall. These last words that I say, I say only to you. We've got the best family in the world and you know I LOVE YOU!
Used to be the weather was frightful People covered themselves from head to toe Now, despite the fact it's Christmas season I see more sand, than I see snow The temperatures keep on elevating To the moon, they just seem to rise Oh, where is the Christmas of yesterday The rosy cheeks, windows fogged with ice It's just too warm now for Christmas Too hot to shop, too hot to run around Santa's working at the pole in a speedo That's nothing, we wanna see come to town Frosty, it seems we're not gonna see him Heat miser, now, has gotten his day Can't ole Jack Frost do something about this And chase the warm weather away No need to chop wood set for burning The heated air replaces that in the hearth I hope it gets cold and very soon, too Because Christmas puts warmth in everyone's heart It's just too warm now for Christmas Too hot to shop, too hot to run around Santa's working at the pole in a speedo That's nothing, we wanna see come to town Oh, when Christmas day finally gets here Right now, I'll tell ya, all I wanna see Are people with scarves and gloves on their hands And snow bringing life to all barren trees I want the temps to chill me right to the bone That's when I'll know it's Christmas time Who wants to look up and see a sleigh With a fat man in a speedo, flying around It's just too warm now for Christmas Too hot to shop, too hot to run around Santa's working at the pole in a speedo That's nothing, we wanna see come to town
dance to tha beat to tha beat to tha beat to tha beat to tha beat to tha dance to my heart beat repeat2x: Boy verse: Im dancin to tha beat (beat) movin my feet got my body in motion to tha rhym of tha beat (beat) she movin fast ay im talkin nastay we gone stay past eight and go to my place dance to tha beat to tha beat to tha beat to tha beat to tha beat to tha dance to my heart beat repeat2x: Girl verse: Im ready for wateva you know wat i mean (mean) lets get down to tha point lets get down and dirty I can make you fanticize cus yo head between my thighs when you look at my third eye boy I make you mezmerize (so) dance to tha beat to tha beat to tha beat to tha beat to tha beat to tha dance to my heart beat repeat2x: Girl verse: Im playin game of twister im all ova tha room im even on tha dresser my body all on you im playing game of twister im all ova tha room im even on tha dresser my body all on you we can dance on the bar even make love on ya car boy you make my heart roar (roar, roar, roar) you make my heart roar (so) dance to tha beat to tha beat to tha beat to tha beat to tha beat to tha dance to my heart beat repeat2x:
the Sony goes off to station WFUV I lie there still on the right side of the bed Bob Dylan sings I don't have to work on Maggie's farm no more the clock says five ten in small green neon like letters get up five thirty shower shave and pee eggs toast and coffee and off to the farm
translation below Vive le CANADA Libre Toujours merveilleux Toujours grand Toujours libre Terre de libertés PKP, PKP, jamais ne volé mon pays PKP, PKP, jamais ne volé mon pays plus d'informations PKP est le surnom d'un fameux séparatiste qui veut se présenter à la direction du parti québécois. Même s'ils se proclament séparatistes, ce sont en réalité tous des traitres. un mot plus juste.. À ne pas confondre avec le grand joueur de hockey, PK Suban! Translation Long Live Canada Always beautiful Always grand Always free Land of liberty PKP, PKP, never steal my Country PKP, PKP, never steal my Country PKP is the nickname for Pierre Karl Peladeau, a Quebec seperatist
How much is the cat in the window? The one that's standing up How much is the cat in the window? I do hope that kitty is for sale I don't want a turtle or a snake I don't want a bowl of fish or a guinea pig I don't want a cute rabbit or a bird You can't give them things a hug How much is the cat in the window? The one that's standing up I have a slight problem at home And if I have a cat then maybe the rat will leave
A lonesome dove feathered white. The branch strong, time light. ...no "wait". A dream. really blowing a sweet breeze. ...no "wait". A heart beat sitting in a tree, spirit like, ...no "wait". A rhyme. ...of atomosphere.
"On the Road to Carolina" By Miriam McCue - creator of poetry. dedicated to Bubba, my grandson who is not allowed to do what is in this poem. And Bob who maybe did. Warning: do not practice the activities below, unless you are a professional in the field. This is meant to be sung accompanied by acoustic guitar music. Verse 1 We're on the road to Carolina, Me & Bubba, my best friend. We're going to stop in Savanna. To pick up ole toothless Glenn. Verse 2 We're ridin' in my ole pickup, The three of us have no fear. 'Cause toothless Glenn of Savanah, Brought along six cases of beer. Verse 3 When it gets on towards evenin', We park the old pick up. We're all sittin' on the tailgate, Drinkin' all the cases up. (whoops and whoopies ) Verse 4 When we get to Carolina, Our heads feel all blown about. Glen is barfin' out the winder, And Bubba has completely passed out. FINIS NOTE: TO be more politically correct: I am the designated driver.
Oh Mr. Bernanke Are we going to have that Rate-cut today? Aha, you are the candy-man Could wave your wand Make the dying Market stand. Ah, but it ain't working anymore The Market is a falling man Oh Mr. Bernanke You wave your wand But it's fallen over the stands! Oh Mr. Bernanke Swayed the Market just your own way! But banks aren't making money The cuts to them are one too many Candy-man, the Market won't stand! Got my only heifer and sacrificed At the altar of Dow and Nasdaq, paid a high price The Dow, oh it fell through the Year's low Now here I come, Candy-man Look through your store We need something more!
Weeding the moonscape of my back garden, Truly, it's a big deal. Weeding the moonscape of my back garden, My nerves shredding: The concrete weeds, I steal myself for this task Herculean, I've delayed, I admit, for cosmic eons. Bravely, finally, I resolved and booked one week's annual leave - To prepare, to recover, From this task that may take up to two full-blooded man-hours! I'm impelled to enquire, Must I find the power to take on the abysmal brat of flowers? Fetch me a flask of sports energy drink, Complex sugar, I think, my devotional shrink. You see, I write poetry, so must I also do things? Must I really stand alone on that flat dune of grey, Pockmarked with such monstrous green swaying? The weeds, they are almost thirty centimetres, and grimly rising! I stare at them from the window, I'm not really crying. Wouldn't you rather I just wrote this poem? How many fresh dead poets does the world need? I'd like to be a living tragic poet, not one that weeds! (That's too tragic, even for me). And, look over there! See! I might get bitten by that bumblebee! And I sneeze like a banshee when near trees; Sometimes three sneezed sneezes I issue near weeds. Yes, banshees do sneeze. Weeds are angry wannabe baby trees, I'm feeling quite I'll already, So ill, I've just spelt it I'll. Now that's I'll, Sorry, ill. Where's my quill? I need to scroll the interweb, Order some pills - Those ones, Exported from the moon, made in Hy-Brasil; Those especial potions you don't require an ignoring doctor to see, I must have illegal anxiety. I'm a poet, it's my job, silly! And - I. Don't. Do. Wrestling. Weeds. Yet, here I stand on the precipice, There they sway taunting me, The emerald streaked posse of thorny triffid pisse. Well, here goes - One small step for man, maybe, But one giant leap for a poet such as this.. for more of my humorous poetry just google Suki Spangles
Tag! Your it! Like in the school days. I got your mind lost, like you were in a corn maze. This isn't Halloween, just another day of the week. I'm always getting candy. I say forget trick or treat. You can forget Flasnick. People just call me Flash. My rap game's so scary, I say hell with the mask. Forget Jason, They call me Lil T. Wake up it's not Freddy, it's me you see in your dreams. I'm rated X. Noway I'm PG13. Sisco and Ebert said not to see the damn thing. So if you do, you better call me the king. I'll give you six days to live. I'm more hard core then the Ring!
Beneath the soil lay our roots Multi-legged insects walking on moss Working hard to get the fruits Like lost souls running to the cross Or hungry new army recruits With no care of profit or loss We are the bugs Commission on narcotic drugs Watch as we steal the rain Plants are ruining our brain We feast together in the swamp The spiders just want to push us around They see us and want to stomp We hide under the ground I'm here, no fear of the chomp It's our other way around We are the bugs Commission on narcotic drugs Watch as we steal the rain Plants are ruining our brain One day I hope it will change The flower tell us one day Not to far gone to rearrange Apex of the sun's way Move to the balkan mountain range Rather than be part of the buffet We are the bugs Commission on narcotic drugs Watch as we steal the rain Plants are ruining our brain
Once in a while when we fall down Rarely ever is there anybody else around To take all of our sorrows and misery away We seem to suffer to our dying day A maelstrom of voices swirl through our heads A bunch of mixed up words from what people said Saying that this is what life is about But this ain't what I want and that I don't doubt I'm drowning the bad thoughts deep in my brain I'm gonna slam a 60-pound and flush my mind away I'll wake up in a ditch or in my bloody grave The ballad of the whiskey ballet It's cheaper for a bottle than a stinkin' bar Where all the blasted bastards and the ditchpigs are I like to drink alone with no one else around I drink all I want on my own slammin' ground I don't need someone telling me that I'm being too damned loud I don't need anyone treating me like a drunk and foolish clown I'll just turn around and belch into whomevers face and waltz away on my own cloud by my own staggering pace I'll be belching and mumbling,kicking and stumbling puking and yelling,going to Hell andfighting and bleeding The world will take heed and crashing and crawling to the ballad of the whiskey ballet!!
there once was a Lady from France who never would put on any pants she would ride all around the square of the town and watch all the stupid men dance !!!
Pour a shot for me, pour a shot for you. Swallow down, so quick is the liqueur. You recoil in pleasure, it tastes good. Set it up again, time to put up another two. You think about forgetting the pain, But your just making it all worse. Slowly, slowly the picture gets dizzier, Good judgement goes down the drain. You love the crown, and he does his job, Making you feel heavy then ultra light. Words mind as well be backwards, And all your thoughts, so many, he did rob. You look at each other, sloppily thinking, And you remember what you did forget. Unsure if the other is feeling the same way. Look away, wondering, both keep drinking. F- it! You slow melt into the way it was. Sooo goooood, but oh soooo baaaaadddd! The restraint clock is over, time to give in, You're already too far, no stop, no pause. Tricky is the soundtrack, intense is the play. Between are you two, crazy is this game. Long, amazing, wishing it could last forever, But you doubt it, you wake sober the next day. Was so much fun, and it was much shattering. Again, you are so weak, you shake your head. Your foolishness, your eyes drawn asunder. But so much more then one night of smattering. You part, intense attraction you have to ignore, But so comfortable and also so careless. You try not look over you shoulder at the other. Never again... Hell, till they put up two more.
Halloween is not just for kids... what about those gorgeous pets that we snuggle, love, kiss and willfully spoil? Shouldn't they have their own special Howlween and Meowween with treats never tasted in a bright party hall? I love pets as you all do, and with loving and tender care I spoil them with warm clothes and matching shoes; a wool hat and tiny gloves to keep them from frost! Look at them, aren't they adorable and look sharper than the less-loved pets that are bored with their blues? Can you compare a well-groomed one to a scruffy one? On this coming Halloween, dress up your pets for success, disregard the dumb looks of certain unintelligent folks, they never see humor in anyone or anything, and they can't laugh at these cuties that have a ton of affection on their mellow faces; what would they do to be patted or be cuddled in their embrace? They would give them their howleen and neowween for a soft caress! And on every street people walk their dogs and cats dressed like mine, what a surprise to watch this parade of adorable pets that look up and smile! They will never know who was the genius behind all this, but gently and happily they stroll! So who's to say that Halloween isn't for them? They're like our children who delight our soul! And on each Halloween night, let them out, and let them do their Howlween and Meowween, to enjoy the Halloween celebration, but tomorrow they'll not remember where they had been! Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci
me and my girl kelssey just got done smoking weed are stomach start rumbling and we started too have cravings what was it what do we need we but our minds together and it was micky d's so we walked in to get our burgers and fries, but realized we aint gots no money to our surprise i look in my back pocket and a 20 appear we was like holy crap then we walk up to the cashear she was like "how can i help you? you want that here or to go ? " umm i dont know but i like a number 6 plain with cheese but her not sure what do you want kelssey? i want a classic combo. a sweet tea to drink. thats what id order im pretty sure or i think. burgers on our mind..thank god it was micky d's that we would find . but watch the drinks. make sure the dont spill. but if you do its ok. cuz we get free refill. they called our order and we grab our meal right when we seat down i cause a big deal i looked at my food and guess what i see they put lettuce ketchup and mayonnaise and the receipt says plain with cheese i cause a fus and a big scene it all worked out the food was free and i got back my 20 so we didnt have to pay. we got out there real fast and started a good day. but we were still hungry and what did we do? well we thought a shopping cart would fit through the drive through. a bad idea? i dont know. but me and west thats how we roll. so we climb in and away we go we went so fast no a time was spent i was like " i hope we dont hit a car i hope we dont cause a dent" we finnally got to the end of the drive through so we told em to give us order number two and dont for get order number three right when we grabbed our food we jumped out of the cart and then we flea so our trip to mickey d's was quite amazing at the least... as we eat our burgers and join in a great feast. im like dang what are we doing we are packing our face s like a 8 year old eats pudding im a skinny kid but now i feel like a fat as pig i ate so much im starting to feel sick so fat we feel. cuz we ate to much. kinda bad idea. who would of thought of such. well me and west kno how to kick it. eat mickey d's all day is good living
G- gingerbread man run as fast as you can I- if I ever see you again I'll cook you in my pan N- next I will nibble all about G- getting you will be easy, with out a doubt E- ever consider someone might eat your eyes out R- red jelly eyes I wonder what flavor they are B- buttons on your belly might be tart R- run away from me now that eating may be an art E- ever think about how it delicious candy clothing may be A- average American snacking, just like me D- down the hatch is what you'll be M- morning, noon or supper for eating you up I'll be the man A- after I eat you I'll wipe out the pan N- now I am going to eat you, come here Gingerbread Man
Wood~Pecker; Wood~Pecker, Peck My Tree Drive Me Hollow Til' I Scream~Cream.. Don't Waste Time Go At A Steady "Pace," So I Don't Loose Sweat Nor Faint. Your Long Beak Slams Like: Hammers N' Nails When My Heart, Pounds Hard N' Heavys Beat: Sending It Through The Roof: Is Where I Want To Go. Another Good Blow, With One More Ounce Of Good Love; I Am Bound To Give You All That You Need. Say's The Wood Chuck; Chuck....
< Betty Davis eyes Marilyn Monroe's thighs Greta Garbo's lies Elizabeth Taylor's cries Tells me this is why Is She The One Is She The One Is She The One For Me Britney Spears Miley Cyrus sneers Rihanna's fears Oh my dear One thing's clear Is She The One Is She The One Is She The One For Me Madonna's dares Cher's dairy air Heart's flare Fleetwood Mac I don't care Just wondering there Is She The One Is She The One Is She The One For Me
I'm here to settle the score, teaching you the meaning, casualty of war. I've got you dead in my sight. My scope is always precise. On the battlefield, you've given up all bargaining rights. Don't look for divine intervention, your suffering is my bullets intention. The only thing more conceited than you, is my trigger finger, for It never hears sympathy or pleas, with me the trigger always agrees. There are no negotiations, just my guns willing anticipation of a trigger fingers agitation. Next time we don't hesitate on pulling the trigger.
Action, action! What a commotion! "What is the latest trend? Is there going to be an end?" Lady Dow is trying to deliver Leaders running to assist her Oh, it's a Global Countdown Yeah, it's a Global Meltdown Come on Doctor Bush, make her to push "We need some stimulus Package in some dollars" Come on Doctor Ben Bernanke Is it only cutting rates? Stage III, now it's just got to be! I can see the hair Oh it's a wig so unfair! "Its shoulder dystocia, or a flu from Asia!" Naah, its simply financial inertia! It's getting serious, I am curious It's gotta be Cesarean Who is gonna be the Surgeon? Will Bush gift it to Barak Will Hillary, McCain or Romney wake luck? Huckabee, who will it be? Oh pain, oh pain! Who is gonna bring the gain?
Let me give you a little rap You remind me of a glue trap You just being there Keeps drawing me near Then when I get close I get right up to your nose Once you make the touch I get pulled in so much Then there's no letting go You know, this hug from Flo It's just so hard to pry away Comfortably stuck, I'd like to stay When we do break the hold My body is like a jell-o mold So it made me want to do a little rap Because you are - like a glue trap Florence McMillian (Flo)
Another season of Survivor is almost at an end. That there will be a "shocking twist", you can depend. Jeff will be snarky, and the Jury, too. "Why should we give a million dollars to YOU?" "Let me explain why I'm the best player EVER!" That is every remaining contestant's endeavor. Immunity Challenge victories are a must to move on. If you fail at those, you will likely be gone. There will be strategizing all day, and conspiring all night. With only 5 Castaways left, the end is in sight. At the final Tribal Council, we will finally get to the vote. But before it is read, Jeff will hop into a boat. The suspense is nerve-wracking, who will win Survivor this season? Will the Jury be vindictive, or vote with common sense and reason? After Jeff reads the votes, the winner is announced live. The audience erupts like a swarming beehive. The time has now come for the "One Hour Live Reunion Show". The questions begin; there's so much we want to know. Were there any secret scandals, does everybody hate each other now? Will Jeff get an amazed look on his face, and say surprisedly, "Wow!"? Last but not least, we will get Previews for next season's show. The anticipation is crescending, soon it will overflow. Next thing you know, Survivor is over once again. Soon, the emptiness and despair will descend. How will we survive the next 2 months of our lives? The trauma will surely make us all break out into hives! Just when we think we can function no more, And we're crying like babies down on the floor. Right at the time when we begin to think that our spirits have been broken, We hear the glorious words of Jeff, "The tribe has spoken!"! Our spirits are renewed, Survivor is back one more time! I can finally put an end to this silly rhyme! Thursday nights will once again be the best. We will find another favorite player, to whom our hearts will invest. We will hope they form the right alliances and play the game smart. To be voted out, would be a dagger to our hearts! Survivor will live on, this thread will NEVER die! When next season ends, we will once again cry. The summer will be boring, we will be counting the days, Until the Fall Season arrives with a new group of castaways. If you read this entire poem, I am extremely impressed! Survivor fans are truly the best! I can't wait to join you, on the Survivor journey next year! Until then, I wish you good luck and good cheer!
A bad play On a deep and dark September Gazing from these bleachers To that ref who blew that call On a freshly painted court in the middle of fall I am A Jock I am A Flock I've got balls A fortress deep and plenty That none will discinagrate For friendship brings me joy It's laughter from my best friend Roy I am A Jock I am A Flock Don't talk hate For I've heard much before It's resting in my head And I'll try not to wake So It doesn't make you cry For if I never would of put on that cup You've never heard awwwww shut up I am A Jock I am A Flock I have my hooks And my cup to protect me I am such a world charmer Hiding behind an ump So another won't bump I touch no one and he better not touch me I am A Jock I am A Flock And a Jock feels no pain And a flock seems to die This is off spin To Simon And Garfunkle's I am A Rock LOL Gl All
you're like the beautiful starz and the rainbows I can take you anywhere you want to go come ride in my shuttle, I have no cars we can travel to venus and then mars we can visit the beach and dance by the sea we can make love under the palm trees excuse me, do you think we meant to be if you ask me I can picture you and me living heaven on earth growin old together(happily married) I can take you to a place that no one goes its somewhere ova the rainbow take my hand, plz dont be afraid to go to love land, real love is the way I can put you in the zone so you dont wanna go I whispered in your ear words no one told now you gettin hot I got your mind blown now you dont wanna leave you dont wanna go home you're like the beautiful starz and the rainbows I can take you anywhere you want to go come ride in my shuttle, I have no cars we can travel to venus and then mars
45 years behind me I'm startin', reachin' for the dream I left my front porch crying Only tears of fear Then wiped my face To keep it crystal clear Your too old You'll unfold They'll laugh at your attempt Get back in the house! Cook a meal !! Don't continue. Check the menu. The kids are needin' ya now! Leave your dreams. Give it up. Hubby's havin' a cow. I had my dream evaluated Measured, tested, and weighed All the experts told me I really should have stayed… home on another cookin' course! Well I'm not a cook or waiter So instead of changing all my dreams I traded in 'the evaluator' "neeeeeeeeeeeeeext!" that's my theme! Your to old So I've been told Yep they laughed at my every attempt Get back in the house Don't continue Give it up Pack it in There's nothing for ya here There's no chance to win a grammy! Just relax and have a beer. My new dream evaluator looking up said "mama mia" Rubbed his chin and promptly asked "who gave you this idea??' I gathered up my things Tried not to take a swing He blurted, "for goodness sakes!!" I'm only asking… I'm just saying … Looks like this is it… Think ya just caught your break I was told I was too old I was told to pack it in I was told to not continue I was told I'd never win I was told to get in the kitchen Good things can happen to those who clean! Today I'm packin' for seven Yep I said "for seven"! My whole family shares my dream I traded-in my evaluator instead of packin' in my dreams I'm not packin' in my dreams I never did pack in my dream neeeeeeeeeeeeeext was my new theme!
So you wanna know my secret of my wardrobe success It is all in my shopping habits I must confess Why spend a fortune to look like a million bucks I catch the bargains, I guess it's all in the luck I am the only one in style as you can plainly see Don't you wish you could dress like me From hospital scrubs to camouflage capris Just admit it, you are jealous of me I notice so many of the females have no fashion sense Look at my closet, so many clothes, I need a table of contents I will soon open my fashion hot line Just call 1-800-so-fine Now a contractor will expand the closet for more wardrobe capacity Don't you wish you could dress like me Joan Rivers is now requesting I join the Red Carpet Fashion Police She wants to bring me in instead of her niece I tell sorry, there are so many women screaming for my help here One example is Zena, her taste in fashion isn't too clear I just won a Pulitzers prize for my book titled Queen, the Fashion Authority With a little self discipline, you have a slim chance, if none, to be able to dress like me
Headin' back home I don't know what to think I want to roam but "I disagree," says my shrink What does he know anyway? And why does he want me to stay? Family is overrated! Family makes life no fun! My family is too outdated! My family makes me want to run! Walkin' through the door I see my dad My bags hit the floor and My dad looks rather mad Why does he think I'm so bad? And whys he always mad? Family is overrated! Family makes life no fun! My family is too outdated! My family makes me want to run! I see my mom too What does she think She says, "Your rents due!" and She leaves with a wink Why should I have to pay rent? When all my moneys spent? Family is overrated! Family makes life no fun! My family is too outdated! My family makes me want to run! I see my brother Sittin' on his bed I ask him, "What's with mother?" But He never heard what I said Never liked him anyway I feel like I've been betrayed Family is overrated! Family makes life no fun! My family is too outdated! My family makes me want to run! We gather 'round the table For some dinner "So are you able to pick anyone but a sinner?" My mom never liked my girlfriend Thought she'd pass like a trend Family is overrated! Family makes life no fun! My family is too outdated! My family makes me want to run! Packed my things up and Headed for the door "I'm leavin' for a distant land!" Then My mom's jaw hit the floor Never liked my family anyway! Wanted to leave every day! Family is overrated! Family makes life no fun! My family is too outdated! My family makes me want to run!
IF I was a monkey,lived in the zoo. I swing from the vine,that what I would do. But IM not a monkey,dont live in the zoo. So I will drink my JACK DANIALS,give a toast to you. If the ocean was whiskey,and I was a duck. I swim to the bottom and never come up. But the ocean not whiskey,and IM not a duck. So I will play TEXES HOLDEM,and drink to my luck. JACK DANIANLS,JACK DANIALS,I cry. If a car dont roll over me,I will live till I die If I die meet ST. PETER,at the gate. If IM drinking my JACK DANIALS,he will have to wait. JACK DANIALS,JACK DANIALS,cream of the crop. IM going to drink my JACK DANIALS ,until the day that I drop When I drop,fall flat on the floor. IM going to pick my self up,and drink me some more.
Do - do - a female la beer Re - re - a drop of re beer Mi - mi without my mi beer Fa- fa - place to drive to get ti beer So - so - you ran out of mi beer La - la - la de da la de da I'll wait for la beer Ti - ti - spilt spilt ti beer so no more more of la beer Do - Do Do la la think I'm sexy after about six six so beers LOL Got Beer ! Over The Lips Thru The Gums Look-out Stomach Here It Comes LOL Also Entry For Izzy Gumbo's Solfege Contest
One Day I was listening to an old Cowboy song My boots began to tapping & I began to sing along A Cowgirl stepped to the mic & as she began to sing It sounded like a falsetto auctioneer pulling vowels out on a string I perked my ears & listened, it didnt seem that hard If I could learn to yodel, I'd be a Cowgirl Superstar So I warmed up & just let loose Was that the call of a lovesick moose? So I adjusted my pitch, had my stance down pat Just as I began to yodel, I swear someone stepped on a cat I struggled on through most of the day trying to warble & trill And If I'd not sprained my tonsils & tongue, I'd be at it still Let's hear it for the Cowboy Yodeler, Head & shoulders above the rest For in mastering the yodel, you surely passed the test I only have one question, I'd really like to know Why they sing about her & where did the little old lady go?
Overtime Again by Dave Stinnett What is it about this temperature you always keep so hot You always want to "fire me up", when you're getting' all I've got, I spend my whole life cookin' things I know you'll never eat, There's more than iron that's melting from this God forsaken heat, It's me, your oven, on overtime again. I hope you're making money for all the time we spend Makin' smoke, red coals and hotter fires to help our steel post bend, I'm always there to heat it up, it's overtime again. I've built up quite a friendship with a piece of iron today He guessed you messed up several times from the things he heard you say, Your banging, swearing, apron wearing times about to end if I Hear that you are blaming your mistakes on me again. It's me, your oven, on overtime again. I hope you're making money for all the time we spend makin' Smoke, red coals and hotter fires to help our steel post bend, I'm always there to heat it up, it's overtime again. Last year I almost called it quits, when you stoked me at the "Farm" I've always had the hottest fire to heat the hardest "arn" But you really hurt my feelings when my door swung open wide And I saw a pair of hot dogs on a hanger poked inside It's me, your oven, on overtime again. I hope you're making money for all the time we spend Makin' smoke, red coals and hotter fires to help our steel post bend, I'm always there to heat it up, it's overtime again. It's not the jalapenos I cooked with your burritos It's not the jalepenos I feel burning deep within.
Happy Birthday GROVE STREET E-N-T" To the "ENTERTAINMENT PROMOTER" with the most~ "Quid pro quo per buck" let me say ~ happy happy birthday to you ~ i lift up my glass with a~ "lyricvixen LYRICAL Toast" just as "PARTIES HOSTING FUN" and "VIP Clientèle HOT" as to say to you ~ i hope you have a ~ happy happy birthday~ that only a "COMPLEX MONEY MAKER" like you can do ~ happy happy birthday ~ to a "INDEPENDENT INFLUENTIAL PROMOTERS" as "NOTABLY FLY" and "EXCLUSIVELY hot" as "GROVE STREET E-N-T You" aka:lyricvixen ------------------------------------------------------------- Happy Happy birthday Tati" To the "PRETTIEST GIRL AROUND" with the most~ "PREFECT SMILE" let me say ~ happy happy birthday to you ~ i lift up my glass with a~ "LYRICAL Toast" just as "BUEATFULLY BRIGHT" and "ALWAYS SEXY" as to say to you ~ I hope you have a ~ happy happy birthday~ that only a "GIRL IN A PINK Bi·ki·ni" like you can do ~ happy happy birthday ~ to a "WONDERFUL GAL" as "HOT-O-licious" and "SWEETLY FRIENDLY" as "Tati, GOOD GIRL YOU" aka:lyricvixen
I can not think of one word to say I can not write one word I think I have writer's block,.. and it stinks. Clever expressions, hard nose impressions, all words escapes me, oh how I wish I knew just what to do to find a way to unblock me....
Simple as that, just love and peace. Writing for all who need a release. Writing for those who can't seem to find A poem that compliments days and nightime. Dream time comes I wake but don't write. No need to bother, be silly laugh light. I plea for comedic, no drama because, it makes things pecuilar and creates too much buzz. So the lesson plan today is simply just laugh. Just peace and love, you hold the bat.
I came home, And you were gone. You left a letter, Said you were movin on. Said you didn't, Have time to explain. You were headin to boston, To catch the next train. Now you'r back, Knockin on my door. Lookin for the love, That don't love you anymore. It serves you right, To be as lonely as you are. It serves you right, You torn my world apart. So go back to the one, Who took you from me. I dont need you no more, Now that i can see. Now I am sittin here, Soakin up the sun. Thinkin of you, And what you have done. Feelin no more pain, And healin my heart, It serves you right, To be as lonely as you are. It serves you right, To be as lonely as you are. It serves you right, You torn my world apart. So go back to the one, who took you from me. I don't need you no more, Now that I can see. I don't need you no more, I'm soakin up the sun in miami.
I should have keep you In a floppy disc or in a CD It was my mistake I kept you in the hard drive It may be the reason It is hard for me to forget you You occupy a major portion In the hard drive of my mind I shouldn't have that serious Then I wouldn't have cry like this But it happened and I am helpless I can't do anything to change it anyway I tried to erase you from my mind I found it very hard to do it You spread all over me like a virus I may need a overhaul clean-up Time is the best medicine To cure this kind of illness Move away is another option Some may say it is coward's behavior I should do something very soon It is really bothering me a lot I am thinking of many options I hope that I will find the right solution
I could not afford a Bow Flex, costs too much I get diagrams to build my own from a man named Henry Clutch The instructions say if I build it right It will make me lean and my stomach tight The first step, according to the instructions, is to collect empty beer bottles and cans I go across the road to see Inez and Stan They open their closet and tell me to take what I need from empties in here I was kind of disappointed when none of them were from Busch Beer They ask me what are they for, I tell them they're for a hobby I smile as I see myself in 32 weeks with a trailer park body The next step is to collect some full sand bags, I know who to contact, the National Guard I know a female Sargeant there, he name is Louise, but her troops call her Black Bart She has the looks of her dad Stew But she has a singing voice like Julie Andrews She hooks me up with three full sand bags, which is more than I need Step three I can't do, it would violate the trailer park creed I guess cheaper isn't always the way to go I bragged to my wife about the new me, but now I must eat crow I decided to use the stuff I collected to decorate the front yard, but my wife said it would look too gaudy I look around at the heroes here at the park and realize that after all I do have a trailer park body Now I am back to square one This trailer park is rippin' and roarin' fun That couch sitting out in front of lot nine After it's dark it will be mine
Go to sleep Go to sleep My little ones Or Santa Just won't come For he knows when you are awake For He knows when you are asleep Close your weary eyes now And I'll go take a little peek Tap Tap Tap Upon the roof It's santa coming For I hear reindeer's hoofs Hush Hush now Don't say a word Better hurry And fall fast to sleep Or he just may leave you a big turd Let sugar plums Dance in those pertty little heads As I made sure Santa was nice and fead Cookies and milk With nothing else Oh thank you my dear Lord For this nice little cord For they are fast to sleep Now I can go back to bed And count my own lost sheep
I'm not critically aclaimed, I ain't got no money to my name, I'm having ot hang my head in shame, there ain't nothin' good about me, I'll just have to wait for you to see. I'm going to let you go, and if you come back, we'll take it slow. Look into my eyes, and dang boy, please don't lie, ah, come on, don' be shy, tell me how you feel, and be real. Lier. I'm gonna beat you in the head with a giant hammer, gonna cause a clamor, I'm gonna drag your body to a hotel, gonna crack you worse then the liberty bell. You feelin' me? I'm gonna stab you in the heart with a lit cigarette, feel no regret, I'm gonna scream at you, and if you run I'll pursue. You feelin' me? Oh no, I don't think you see, nobody lies to me, I don't think you feelin' me, I guess I wasn't meant to be on your family tree. You feelin' me? What do I have to do to knock some sense into you? I'll give pain where pain is due, I'll shoot you in the head with a water gun, then I'll suffocate you with a hamburger bun, I'll drown the eyewitness, then practice physical fitness, I'll chase you down when you run, then I'll shoot you with a real gun, I'll shoot you in the head, bang, you're dead. You feelin' me yet?
Last night I saw a dream- I was in the midst of a brown gleam; The spot was like a land of cream; Lakes and ponds were full with it -upto the brim. Beautiful blossoms were everywhere, The fragrance were for everyone to share , The snow flakes seemed most fair, It seemed that Nature has created them with great care. Chocolate creams made up the seesaw, There was cno one to guide me under law, There was no signs of fears and flaws, And there was a cream cat with snow white claws. What a dream it was just like the beauty of a rose- But all were shattered when the light of dawn fell on the tip of my nose.
A BELL FOR MY FLOWERS My FLOWERS are keen And watch what I do My FLOWERS count time And lies when they're true My FLOWERS fill a bowl At the edge of my mind There in the moonlight My FLOWERS are enshrined Fresh then are my FLOWERS fine Love of floral, love of mine Left alone, left to shine All that's bright and twice divine My FLOWERS need a bell That rings on Sunday morn A bell of splendid color For FLOWERS when they're born My FLOWERS lean north To drink from porcelain dish My FLOWERS lean south As willpower turns to wish Fresh then are my FLOWERS fine Love of floral, love of mine Left alone, left to shine All that's bright and twice divine My FLOWERS follow kings With gemstone and stained glass My FLOWERS stand at guard No ancient age shall pass My FLOWERS catch rainbows And blue peas in a spoon My FLOWERS press aloft Under starry winter moon Fresh then are my FLOWERS fine Love of floral, love of mine Left alone, left to shine All that's bright and twice divine RAMA INK. 2010
Whether we wander wistful whether we wander wise we waltz wedding's waltz; whenever whatever weather we'll wriggle with wishful wives Wind wispy willow willy-nilly we'll whirl we'll widdle we'll weave; whenever whatever weather we'll waltz with wedding's wench Well worthy we writers who with words wrench Finishing Line Press. Book FAREWELL TO THE DUST, by C. S. Leaf avalible March 2008 www.FinishingLinePress.com
Thank God for 7-27, when my son flew in Life as it should be will forever begin Charming little visions of how days are meant To teach him as he shows me how life is spent Listen to me now and read what I find so true Words are like a beat that can start a groove Bring the rhythm back to lift your spirits up Don't worry too much because we all get stuck My life seems to stop before it begins Caught in another ever-recurring trend Giving away every one of my previous wins With Faith and company until my life ends It's time now to be down again Even faster than western winds Life can run around, leave you in loop Feeling that life needs one more scoop Tip the timer over, fall with the sand Live for every second you possibly can I will soon learn should luck turns up I'm lost, backwards, and running amuck Trying to regain what I thought I missed Elusive, erratic and ending up like this Never have I wanted to be other than here Life in crystal-clear brings visions near Capable are your dreams so easily achieved All you have to do is work & truly believe Look for a big picture in whatever you see Never believe free, it offers no guarantee Just sit back and listen to tales they tell And make your own path but remember it well Don't try to be so deep, just work to relax Make life a story but include all the facts Learn about yourself when you're at the mic Work the crowd just to see what you're like Life will soon be everything you need it to be Proceed with sight don't let only destiny lead You always have control in every step you take Follow dreams today and always live fast awake At times I don't know where this path would go Like I'm hosting a show I've never seen before Filling in the gaps, taking punches for others Learning along the way what life really offers It's time now to be down again Steps closer to an unknown end Digging up dirt nearly burying yourself At least the digging is good for health Live your life now, stay until the very last Live your life today as if it's already past
Funny things or crazy things of the world Small or big, things do happen in the world when our heart wants to go some where but the way becomes tough to go any where what we give nobody takes what we ask nobody gives colorful weather do exist color of the wind never exist when we are in a hurry we often have to worry scratching the head to think something working hard to achieve something All these may be our activities We may get reward for our abilities When utilized in a proper way Then success will be not away we should always keep in mind we should never look behind things of whatever kind may happen one day wait for the day
The casting crew look at you and their minds go in the gutter If you knew their thoughts, it would make you shudder Ernie feels left out without his rubber ducky Big Bird believes he can lay eggs, he tells himself maybe tonight I will get lucky You strut around with your Daisy Dukes to tan in the sun Every sees your exposed Sesame Street buns Go visit Maria, she has the fix it shop Visit oscar and revel in his slop Mr. Hooper allows you to run a tab in his General Store Snuffleupagist with a snozz like that, I bet he really snores Now you have a date with Louise in apartment 101 He is salivating as he thinks about your Sesame Steet buns Watch out J-Lo you have a rival from the backside Dirty thoughts cause men to approach a non Catholic Priest to confide Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new number one Hang your head in shame J-Lo the one on Sesame Street has the best buns The Count counts the votes over and over all day long Bert is on steroids, now he's strong Get to the church, the wedding has just begun Grover is marrying the one with the Sesame Street buns Hearts are broken, she is no longer in the singles scene Cookie Monster covers his depression with cookies and cream Within a month they are divorced Not surprised, they are celebrities of course She is now used goods, everyone is stunned J-Lo moves in to the neighborhood to claim the title of Sesame Street buns
My bicycle days are through Please help me spread the news I no longer have to be a 32 year old hermit Mom and Dad got me my permit I just bought a car that seats 5 Thanks to my parents I can finally drive Mom goes with me and my girlfriend out to eat Mom rides shotgun, my girl in the back seat While we are eating with live entertainment My girlfriend expresses how she doesn't like the car's seating arrangement So my mom drives and my girl is shotgun Now I am the lonely one We drop off my girlfriend and I ask my mom to remove the knife She says stop complaining, now you can drive The next night my Dad goes out with me and my buds We want to sit back and suck down a few suds Not on my watch, my Dad says My night out with the buds was disastrous After one beer, my Dad says you are too drunk to get behind the wheel He has no idea how this freedom of driving makes me feel My Mom and Dad are smothering me, my social life will never survive With them around, it look as if I will never truly drive Now it's Mom's turn to escort me, guess where we go My girl and Mom in the front seats, we stop at Domino's We all three sit in the car and wait for the pizza to get done Mom says no a/c, let's enjoy the sun I begin a waterfall of sweat Mom says look at you, you're all wet Mom asks for extra napkins when the pizza is delivered to the car Mom says tonight is Friday, let's park by the lake and enjoy the stars At the lake, I will drown myself, if I take a dive I am going back to the bicycle, I will never again attempt to drive
With a shot and to a swallow To chilled from within A pint with frigid golden jumps To this a game begins The orb, a cup shall swallow from A coin crashed drown to win A deck, a hand, a cup lift up In more we drink again!
Mi camma to America wid a passion for moni en fud, hoppin to getta rich; en de sai det gold is founda in striz! Mi work en work ol dei to meke sam dollar, en mi eat pizza, en drink vino... mi wanna be lika Al Pacino: a famos attor ov Hollivud! En me veit too mani iers, to see butiful voman laika Marilin Monro...whata a fess! Whata a bodi! A Diva so sexi! En mi wanna be laika Valentino from Italia, to sedus ol duh pritty ladi vid mi ciarma; en ol kiss mi...O locki Casanova! English Translation: I come to America with a passion for money and food, hoping to get rich; and they say that gold is found on streets! I work and work all day to make some dollar, and I eat pizza and drink wine... I would like to be like Al Pacino a famous actor in Hollywood! And I waited many years to see beautiful women like Marilyn Monroe...what a face! What a body! A Diva so sexy! And I like to be like Valentino from Italy, to seduce all the pretty ladies with my charm; and they all kiss me...O lucky Casanova!! Entered in Deborah's Gucci, " Dialects make the world go around " (Brooklyn-Italian dialect) Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci
"One Two Myspace Comment"08" 1,2 i myspace see you 3,4 a myspace comment, is at your door 5,6 lets myspace do this 7,8 it feels so myspace great 9,10 lets do it all a myspace again~ 11,12 so lets ring that myspace bell~ BY:lyricvixen ================================================= "DO I KNOW U" would you like too~ i am wild but shy caring but selfish nun-ish even when i write sins by:lyricvixen ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{bee's} the dancing machines please stay away from everyone's knees you very nasty {bee's} Please please please stay away from especially my knees you very nasty and honorable theives {bee's} so please fly off to those daisies for these these these are the only way I want it to { bee's } Little Song Jenny And I came Up When She Was 4 LOL Thanks All For Stopping Also Entry For Matt Caliri's Contest Funnest-hardest Poem Ever
we started out kinda real young baby i know i was a fool, now ive grown up all of the things we use to do do you remember i wanna be your man, aint tryna be ya friend (be ya friend) so tell me do you like it drop, top, mercedes benz top up ,cause your hair be (blowin thru da wind) wheels spinning, hair did( blingin ring) ya dig she pull up at the club lookin like, millions, billions, watching you from a distance all the fellas be watching you like a vision ya sexy thighs,sexy hip, sexy midsect looking real good,make a reggin wanna hit that, forget that, i think im ready for commitment so are you ready for submission "oh" n-e-ways, i know you with him for a short change but you and me together forever, will never change when i was younger all i thought about was spitting game never caring about your feeling was to remain, the same, im sorry i cause you all this pain ( i promise you) i fill them all with brighter days (and hopefully) i just get a chance to say, that (i love you) and i hope that you feel da same way Hmmm.... we started out kinda real young baby i know i was a fool now ive grown up all of the things we use to do do you remember i wanna be ya man aint tryna be ya friend, be ya friend i aint tryna be ya friend... girl i only wanna be ya man so baby want you let me in... and i promise it will never end repeat2x
G for God - G for ganja! G for good - G for ganja! G for great - G for ganja! G for gold - G for ganja! I wonder What a stanza!
A woman's like a cat, coniving and keen. One minute purring, the next minute mean. She'll slice open your heart, with her sharp claws. And as you know a woman, she has no flaws. So don't bother trying, to put up a fight, Cause no matter the man, the woman's always right.
I buy the Hanes three in a pack I have a house, not big, but not a shack I drink my juice sitting on the couch I have no ambition, I am referred to as the slouch I sit out front and drunk before the morning sun With My Wife Beater Shirt I Get Things Done My girl gets a welfare check every month on the first I have her brainwashed like Patty Hearst But then again, I have many hoes With my smooth charming ways, I keep them close I am the spider, they are the flies, what a web I've spun With My Wife Beater Shirt I Get Things Done Sweat causes me to change my shirt too soon Maybe I should switch to Friut of the Loom I just got a new ho with a love that stuns With My Wife Beater Shirt I Get Things Done The Marios come by to sell me some heat Stolen fresh from up the street Huge discounts on plasma tv's They say I can choose from several dvd's Now the cops have got me on the run With My Wife Beater Shirt I Get Things Done Now I'm sitting in the clink No hoes, no welfare, no juice to drink Now I wear orange and pick up highway trash Free meals, a bed, a roof over my head, there's no need for cash According to my coveralls, I am inmate number 101 Without My Wife Beater Shirt, I No Longer Get Things Done
ima leave this earth with a permanent marker ima make sure im tha one you remember dont cha know im hip hops-adolf hitler when i spit ryhms im tha biggest killer watchin a movie im tha-serial killer you cant compete im tha one you gonna remember
He traveled through time, playing his country tunes His melody of life, a time machine in his room Stunned them in the nineteen twenty's, with Let It Be Me And awed them in twenty-one twenty, with a Hank Melody He fell in love in twenty-three twenty, at the Starlite Cafe And when he gave her a kiss, he found she wasn't a she, she was a he So he got back in his machine, and headed for Tennessee That's where he met Elvis, in the year of seventy three Chorus: He always kept travelin', this time travelin' man Playing the oldies, to a new kind of fan They laughed at his clothes, but applauded his toons As they listened to him playing, under the moon He traveled back home, with a star in his eye Ran into his wife, she just set there and cried He gave her a kiss, showed her his machine They both crawled in, and have never been seen Chorus: Oh! He always kept travelin', this time travelin' man Playing the oldies, to a new kind of fan They laughed at his clothes, but applauded his toons As they listened to him playing, under the moon
The eclectic neglected feel so disrespected you know I wrecked it where ever I step -ed and you would, dismiss it? I'm brain fried a drain dried step up to my main eye in the middle of my seeing stones I see your tone, its mellowdrone Neglected eclectic you seem so collective it seems so effortless the celebrated, all frustrated because they can't get any more wasted or useless I won't waste it on you, another thought I know I can't break through your drought I know I can't prove to you, it's rotten that doing the right thing is toughest often I guess I'm neglected, come from the collective and consciousness is overrated for the freest all sleep naked.
' The Dance … ' Oh … How I Love To Dance Why … Do I Love To Dance ? … Its Rhythmic … Its Ritual … The Body is So Beautiful ! … Once … I Saw The Ocean Groove … That's The Way, I Want to Move Earth-Spinning, Round and Round Don't You Know … We All Get Down ? Don't You Know, What The Good-Book Says 'God' … Moves in Mysterious Ways That Is Why I Love To Dance … … His Empire, Moves In Elegance ! Lord, Have Mercy, Keep Moving Me Moving and Grooving, to Your Glory ! Blood-Flowing, Lung – Breathe ' The Spirit ', is Zooming … You Better Believe ! ( Just Look At It Move 'His' Girl, MoonBee !_ Acrobat, Hip-Hop, Ballet Art of Tap, Polka, Reggae' You Can Do It !… I Know You Can Just Listen, To That Bible – Band ! … Music … Just Adds Motivation Stirs A Soul To Celebration Dancing … is A Declaration We're On Cruise-Control, In His Creation ! Dancing … Can Be A Holy Act God, and His Son … Like It, Like That So, Nod Your Head … Do The Wave Signal ! … You Want To Be Saved ! Don't Be Shy … At Situation Meet Me At ' The Revelation' They're Opening Up, The Garden – Gate … Hurry Now … Don't Be Late ! Cherubs, gonna' Let Us In No Cover Charge … Bring A Friend Oh 'Son of God' … Please Partner Me … Dance Me To Eternity ! Oh, How I Love To Dance It's A Rhythm – Romance Passion – Performance Yes Lord … I Love To Dance Dance! … into Eternity Dance! … Better Than A Fantasy Dance! … Universal Dance Floor Dance! … Don't You Wanna' Dance Some More ? Dance ! … Now, Can't You See ? … Dance ! … We Gon' P a r t y ! Dance With This Girl, thru The Galaxy Dance With The Stars and The Only MoonBee Boys Shout ! … 'Bring On The Dancing Girls !' God's Making A Wonder World Them … Us … You … and Me … Still Moving … To His Mystery ! Now Dance ….
Fried eggs on a sunny day, white clouds in the hamper. Dreamfully dozing dogs, black kittens scamper. Dim-witted clock alarm – nobody's sleeping! Morning's a carousel dipping and leaping. See all the ants in line. What say the roaches? Beetles go soaring in shiny black coaches. School kids may all digress skipping the sidewalk. Lawyer may lose his tongue, judge climb a beanstalk. Brown eggs and buttercups, blue-starch the collar. Moth-wings on sale today, six pair a dollar.
' The Art Of Dancing… ' Oh ! … How I Love To Dance Why… Do I Love To Dance ? … … it's Rhythmic … it's Ritual The Body Is So Beautiful ! Oh ! … How I Love To Dance Why … Do I Love To Dance ? … If You're Breathing – You Ain't Still Check Your Heartbeat and It Will … Dance … Into A Fantasy Virtual Reality Dancing Makes Me Feel So Free … Come and Do A Dance With Me Dancing … is Good Exercise Dancing … Adds A Spice to Life Dancing … is A Natural High You Can Do It … If You Try … … Head, Shoulders, Legs, Feet Get 'em Moving to The Beat Back, Arms, Hands, Hips Shake, Stomp, Slide, Slip Bend, Bop, Break, Bounce Push, Pull, Prance, Pounce Soul-Roll, Slow, Fast Jump, Jiggle … All That Jazz ! Dancing … is A Form of Joy Do It ! … Baby Girl and Boy Keep The Music, Playing Please Honey … Just Look At Your Knee ! When I Dance … I Come Alive ! Waltz, Cha-Cha, Swing, Jive Circle, Square, Line, Freestyle Tango, or Step – Side to Side Innocent – Interaction Expression – Satisfaction Set-it-in Motion … You and I … Aaw, Just Look At That Guy Oh ! … I See You're Moving Now ! … thought You Didn't Know How ? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! … He! He! He! … You Dance 'bout as Good as Me ! … Supper-Club, or in My Room At Your House … or Under The Moon If I Hear A Real-Good Tune … You Will Know, I'm Dancing Soon … Dance … Into A Fantasy Virtual Reality Dancing Makes Me Feel So Free … Come Dancing Now … With The MoonBee Posted for: Jared Pickett, 'Cause I Know He Loves To Dance… (Smile) MoonBee
creamy creations i love this situation cookies and cream strawberries and dingalings
I was born in nineteen sixty nine just off the block and in my prime now let me introduce you to some pertty good friends of mine Let's start with my uncle Jesse to me he looks like he's ninety nine but I love to watch him when he takes nips from his moonshine Here's my owners Bo and Luke cousins of a kind just hanging out with Daisy who looks so sweet and so darn fine But There's some other folks that just don't like our kind its those sheriff folks thats watching the hazzard county line Starting with their fearless leader Boss Hogg Who's radioing all the frigging time to Cooter and Davenport And to that rascal Rosco P Coltrane who he cannot find Now my life is such sweet devine when your jumping in and out of my windows while running from those sheriffs from Georgia County line in my general lee waving a confederate flag thats in it's prime Honking my horn to a dixie tune of same kind Tribute To The Dukes Of Hazzard LOL Also Entry For Christopher Higgin's Get Your Rebel On! Tho This Poem Is Not About A Person Changing My Life But The Time Era Did And Something About That Show Changed Me About Opening Your Heart And Home To All
"Sometime i Judge YOU" what would i do if i knew the real you would i spit on dirty hidden you could i forgive all your ugly big sins is it even my place to through it all in your face you, the hole you. the thief you, the one wHO put your hands on me so what, what you think you got the best of me SO IT SEAMS so what ,what must i wait is this the plan to see you BURN in HELL i don't want to wail~ aka:lyricvixen
bells are jingaling carolers singaling happy christmas songs jack frost nippaling at my nose while i'm singaling christmas songs chestnuts roasting turkey baking dinner wont be too long the tree is loaded lots of toys for the girls and boys... bells are ringaling carolers singaling happy christmas songs jack frost nippaling at my nose while i'm singaling christmas songs
Oh just pour me another cup of java Nice rich and steaming like hot volcano lava Rustle me up some bacon and some beans Even throw in some of those good looking greens Pop that toaster up come on let's go Theres some grass that I still gotta mow Kiss grandma on her rosie cheeks And even uncle Joe who's fallen fast to sleep Mop the floor where someone spilled You can alway's later blame it on brother Bill Dog's barking at the mailman's feet Running Jumping growling looking for a treat Mom yelling for kids to get out of bed If I have to come up there someone will be dead Newspaper laying at the front door Waiting for someone to read it and explore Clock ticking time to hit the streets Feeling tired and looking very beat Wish I had never gotten up To this hot steaming java that had filled my morning cup Little Song in head Gone Wild LOL
If you could read my mind you'd know that I'd never talk And if I could stretch a mile you'd know that I'd never walk But I've got to get up to go to work to my nine to five To keep the pace in this rat race I have to survive But this minimum wage pay will never help me out Lord So I need more cause I want more than I can afford (Channel) Cause all my friends are driving Benz's and wearing expensive clothes With bigger houses and finer foods so this is my status in quo I've got beer money, I've got wine taste Can you see it in my eyes, its written on my face Give me this, give me that and I don't want to wait But I've got beer money, I've got wine taste And uh~ beer money, and uh~ wine taste Always make me wanna haste but that leads to waste So I'm praying for some patience and little more grace With my~ beer money and my~ wine taste (Chorus) But my money and my patience's short, the line is long And when things start looking right in life what's left is wrong I need extra strength this and I need fast relief that Someone call western union hurry cause I need some cash To pay my debts and all my bills, I'm planning to buy a lot Because I'm always wanting something that I just don't got (Channel) Cause all my friends are driving Benz's and wearing expensive clothes With bigger houses and finer foods so this is my status in quo I've got beer money, I've got wine taste Can you see it in my eyes, its written on my face Give me this, give me that and I don't want to wait But I've got beer money, I've got wine taste And uh~ beer money, and uh~ wine taste Always make me wanna haste but that leads to waste So I'm praying for some patience and little more grace With my~ beer money and my~ wine taste (Chorus) (Bridge) I need designer hats and jeans, A limousine on the scene To keep up with the Jones; I need some precious stones. I want to be in the spotlight In restaurants day and night With the means to these ends nonstop; I wanna be filthy rich so I can shop. (Chorus)
Lord I pray That if today If someway Would end, Before I lie Before I die Before you cry Think it over again.
I sometimes think my poetry ain't poems in modern favor. Intelligentsia declares, but I danged well won't waver from writin' simple, unpretentious words 'n' thoughts called "witty". From now on my poetry ain't a poem, it's called a ditty. "Listen t' this little ditty." I've heard those cowboys say when they begin to sing a song of wisdoms of the day. Now I don't think me wiser than the smart guys that I know, but I just like to fake it in my stand up poet's show. Now cowboys, they write poetry to sum their thoughts in rhyme 'bout words o' wisdom or describin' real weird points in time - like twisters twistin' towns apart or floods that float the cows or simple words, "what goes comes 'round" brings thinkun' jus' like owls. So listen to this little ditty, if fer nuthin' else than fun of listenin' to a cowboy fake that he's a wiser one a spoutin' words of poetry that some folks may call "gritty". I'll seldom waiver from my writin' what I call a ditty.
It makes it's run in the afternoons Monday through Friday At 3pm it will be coming your way It's not a ride for all to enjoy It's mainly for the girls, just a few boys But one female's heart is draggin' Ms. Betty ponders the question I don't know why he won't give me a ride in the honey wagon The men that receive their ride know their ranking in the food chain First rule, men get in the back, sit down, shut up and don't be a pain A new girl started today, her name is Megan One of the guys has to go, to open a seat for her in the honey wagon When someone is not at the pick up area, the seat remains unoccupied For the men there is a lot of red tape to qualify for a ride Who will be the next guy with the right to be braggin' Fred wants to know when will his name be coming on the list to ride in the honey wagon Today it is running late The honeys know it is a long walk to the gate If it takes a man to be a prince and slay a dragon He will do any thing for the honor to ride in the honey wagon
Dig if you will a hole Of you and I engaged in a kiss The dirt on your nose tickles me Can you help me Can you dig a hole Dream if you can a backyard A field of yellow in bloom Pugs strike curious poses They feel the pressure The pressure of a doodie in tow How can you just leave me squatting Alone in a backyard that's so cold…so cold! Maybe I'm just shedding Maybe I'm just like my father, too old Maybe you're just like my cousin He's always outside…he's always outside! Why do we doodie on each other This is what it sounds like When pugs cry Rub if you will my stomach Feel how my dinner trembles inside You've got my legs spread eagle Don't make me bite you Even pugs have pride How can you just leave me squatting Alone in a backyard that's so cold…so cold! Maybe I'm just shedding Maybe I'm just like my father, too old Maybe you're just like my cousin He's always outside…he's always outside! Why do we doodie on each other This is what it sounds like When pugs cry Ooh, ooh, ooh, baby! This is what it sounds like When pugs cry
I am so wild, I carelessly run around I am the last horse in a one horse town I'm as wild as wild can be I have zero guidance, so I live my life aimlessly Do what you have to, send me to assist the Border Patrol I need someone to neuter me and keep me under control I live life by the seat of my pants I don't want love or trues romance I believe that every moment counts When you fall down, there is still time and room to bounce If a jet can fly, it can surely land When wrong is done, justice needs to be a firm hand One day I may feel peace and love deep in my soul When I find that one that can keep me under control If there is a poster child for bad, it has to be me I do not welcome the Devil, but there will be no begging for mercy I often wonder what do people think I really don't care after my third hard drink You are wasting your time if you want to preach You are educated, so do your best to teach I am not worth being loved by you, so do not glow I want discipline, so do your best to bring me under control I party and sin and live as I please I will never be driven to my eyes I am a rebel and that will never change in my life Not looking for love, a white picket fence or a loving wife I can take the streets and deal with them blow by blow Are you the one to keep me under control Some people have it, some don't and some never will I'm tired of hearing about it, I have lived it, now it's overkill The question is do I want to sell my soul You can save me if you can keep me under control
Wilfredo, hey buddy, I was thinkin' more along the lines of,"Sympathy For the Deviled Eggs"!!! Regards,tom
ima triplethreat im clamin the flame and during ice age i was the comet that came ))))HIT IT(((
Some of the little things That tried to brake us apart Should of made us strong in our hearts Because you are the love of my life I love being your wife I treasure all our moments together It is the funny things That you do, makes me smile And life is good with you That our love can last awhile (Chorus) Between you and me We can make our love right Between you and me And we can love each other Between you and me We can last forever When we started out Others and they had there doubts They said we wouldn't make it Between you and me We can work out the mistakes Together we can work it out Together we can make it Threw all the hard times, rough roads We've climbed over mountians Carried some heavey loads Together we are rasing a family And my sisters to And if we have arguments Between you and me Realize we all make mistakes But it takes us to make it right ( Repeat chours) Some of the little things That tried to brake us apart Should of made us strong in our hearts Because you are the love of my life I love being your wife I treasure all our moments together It is the funny things That you do makes me smile And life is good with you That our love can last awhile Between you and me
It's Saturday night and I'm cruising Power poles going by like a picket fence Just cruising the scene in my street machine, looking for a queen who wants to do her best. Bar hopping door knocking looking for a cat with claws. Just petting her and letting her grab her whip and be my boss. Lookin for a roadside attraction, a lot of long legged action, a place where I can chase, a kitten all laced up, with no one to swing her string. Went downtown to the playground looked all around , and found a sweet thing like a candy machine, doing naughty things on the dance floor, shaking her sexy thighs. I leaned over and told her as I nibbled on her ear, "Take a drink of that bottle and grab hold of my throttle, let's fourth gear out of here." We split the scene like a time machine, like a freak streaking through the zoo. Like a horny rabbit it's a habit gotta have it hit the highway doing a hundred and two. She was my toy full of joy, my snack in the sack All night I couldn't tame her flame. But when I got up at dawn my wallet was gone that girl knew how to play her game. Bar hopping door knocking all the pretty kitties got claws and if you pet her and let her do the night thing called the kitten dream She'll walk away and say it's all for the cause.
I'm poor, you're poor I'll fight you for your door Your box, your shoes I'll wish you many more I'm poor you're poor There's no exit from these doors What for, what for You unraveled on my floor Adore your score But your rash looks really sore No more, no more You're slacking on your chores I'm poor, you're poor I need lotion for my pores Instead, I'll fight you for your door Your box, your shoes I'll wish you many more I'm poor, you're poor There's no exit from these doors
It all starts when you walk in the door Men hoot and holler as you enter the floor Your body shakin' in all the right places As you look around you see the looks on the men's faces The music and the electricity have you pumped, you just can't stop You show the crowd how to Hoochie Koochie Bop Another hottie comes out to show you up You both compete to see who has the better stuff The gyrations, all the steamy moves Another hot mama enters the floor, she is well into the groove The crowd goes wild as a man grabs your waist You tell him I'm the candy you will never taste He asks what does it take to get what you've got You tell him to get off the floor, you can't Hoochie Koochie Bop A female approaches you and grabs your hand Something about this seems right, she understands She smiles at you, you smile right back You know she is only after one thing, that's a fact She wants to take you to her penthouse loft Maybe it's time for a one on one Hoochie Koochie Bop The dance floor feels so good, so right You tell her to go, you want to dance all night A couple more shots of tequila will do the trick You want to slow down, things are moving too quick You are flawless on the floor, no one will mock You are the master of the Hoochie koochie Bop
if you got tha nerve to getcha dance on report to tha flo and getcha lean on from the left to the right getcha swirve on getcha swirve on getcha swirve on if you got the nerve to getcha dance on report to tha flo and getcha swirve on from the left to the right getcha lean on getcha lean on getcha lean on Im on the flo I get my swirve on everybody in the club getcha lean on from the left to the right getcha dance on if you got the nerve move ya feet and bring it on getcha swirve on getcha getcha swirve on getcha swirve on getcha getcha swirve on repeat2x: move ya body on the flo and get busy keep movin ya feet and get dizzy straight butta when i glide across the room I swirve on aint nuthin this smooth getcha swirve on getcha getcha swirve on getcha swirve on getcha getcha swirve on repeat2x: swirvin impala bass is bangin on 22s' while my rims keep turning i hit the blocks while my car keep swirvin i swirve on everybody lookin
A man walks by in a gray polyester suit He tells another man to call him Juice The other man in bright orange hunter's clothes, he looks bold and brash He tells Juice to call him Cold Hard Cash They sit at the bus bench to discuss a new business they want to start It all begins tomorrow around the corner at the local trailer park Cold Hard Cash tells Juice, this is my last 500 bucks, but what the heck It all started when the Master Pimp met with the Ultimate Red Neck Cold Hard Cash tells Juice, follow me, I will give you the grand tour Starting at my trailer on lot number four As they enter Cold Hard Cash's place, it smells like rotting potatoes Juice enters and slips on some cherry tomatoes Cold Hard Cash says here and hands Juice a plate of sauerkraut and dogs He tells Juice, if you stick around for supper, I will roast us some frogs Juice asks Cold Hard Cash, after we eat, can I be given the golden key to the park Cold Hard Cash, says let's go next door we will begin at Judy Starks Juice goes with Cold Hard Cash to interview their first employee in their line of money makers After the interview, Judy says yes, Juice comments, she's a real shaker At the next interview, the girl shows them why her picture used to be on Breck This all transpired when the Pimp Master hooked up with the Ultimate Red Neck Juice says we need one more so we can rotate them around the clock We will put them to work outside the laundry mat and liquor store, which are on the same block Cold Hard Cash asks what if one calls in sick Juice answers in a business voice, then one of the others will pull a double shift Juice points and asks what about this place Cold Hard Cash says you don't want to see her face to face Cold Hard Cash says she's the one they used to design Shrek Good luck with your business, Master Pimp and the Ultimate Red Neck
She comes in just before 6:30 Donald's ride will never be early Their relationship is not kept under cover She calls him her big brother Now they both drive a 300, Donald says his is better There is nothing like the smell of leather Zena keeps hers cleaner, it holds more shine She has a nickname I gave her, Z Lovely 39 She starts to freeze when the temperature dips below 79 Her heater is on full blast most of the time Palmetto bugs, spiders and snakes Zena will run a mile a minute to escape Donald said he is thinking about moving his desk out in the warehouse to keep from walking back and forth 5-2-9 suggests Donald buy some Dr. Scholl's cushioned insoles to prevent his dogs from getting sore Zena just got her new clothing catalog from 1-800-SO-FINE It was addressed to her exclusively, Z Lovely 39 Another day starts with my desk neighbor, new adventures will arise Donald will spend most of his day by her desk, comes as no surprise He has romantic visions tumbling like a dryer in his mind He will always big brother to Z Lovely 39
I've stayed away from trouble Straightened up my life I pay the rent when rent come due I gotta a day job I'm goin to school I give up the whiskey the late nights out I got myself a savings account But here comes TROUBLE Ridin up on his 4X4 He scuffs them dusty cowboy boots across my polished floors Here come TROUBLE he's just in time I've been so good Nearly lost my mind If I could just get into TROUBLE I'd be fine Mama, you're gonna be so disappointed when you hear I've turned a fool But this get tin up early Five days a week ain't cool Ima gonna pop the tab on this cold Coors Lite Go lookin for trouble Maybe a fight If Iand in jail I've done it right
for all you musicians out there- this is a standard blues progression in the key of life; "well, I've had my days.... and I've had my nights..... yeah, I've had my lays.... and I've had my fights.. but I carry on... hopin' some day to see the lights... I've suffered some, in my married life, I suffered most, at the hands of my wife... cause she treats me bad, and I'm meek, like Barney Pheiff... well, I've had my fun, ain't gona have none no more, yeah, I've had my fun.... but now I'm shook to the core... cause she kicked me out, don't live there anymore.... yeah, she kicked me out, cause she said I snore... I'll never understand... that woman I so adore.... well I got a room, one I was lookin' for, but its got its problems problems that I can't ignore.... see, I got a place... just over Julie's Candy Store... cheap enough, as it had to be, ain't got much money anymore... but I got a problem... all because of that cheatin' whore.... refrain; yeah, it ain't no fun... livin' on top of Julie's Candy Store, no it ain't no fun' of this I can assure, I get so embarrassed, ain't got no bathroom door....." by bill and tom bell
Hark, hey Harold, the Angels sing.... glory to the homerun king... piece of turf, with bases wide, runners steal, when pitched inside, Come ye bunters, drop one down, see if we can win the division crown Piece of bleachers, crowd gone wild, all because of the runner's glide Hark, ol' Harold, get some franks, and give to heaven your heartfelt thanks!!
a parody on song "Winter Wonderland"- inspired by my winter alone in an unheated house. "Come away, I am threadbare Snow is falling.... Where there' be hair.. A cold-as_sed dam_ night It's really a fright Walkin' in my winter underwear.. Butt-cheeks gleaming Through the holes, near the seaming A nasty cold a_s, My skin is blue cast Walkin' in my winter underwear.. In the meadow we can make a snowman And pretend that he's an EMS He'll say- "sonny is that really you?" Or did someone paint you a_s blue? Later on, I'll perspire When I light... My a_s on fire.... It burns so that way I'm happy so say Walkin' in my winter underwear...."
you a sorry piss poor of a man you been around the block you even slept with my friend i dont see why you cant get it right you come in-late at night we start to-fuss and fight youre not actin right you a sorry piss poor of a man you been around the block you even slept with my friend im the kind - who speaks her mind boy you wasting my time i think you should leave cuz you keep hurting me plz dont testify dont wanna here no lies you can not change my mind you wasting your time you a sorry piss poor of a man you been around the block you even slept with my friend repeat2x: i guess you cant get it right you will never get it right all i asked of you was to treat me right breakdown: you slept around "back then" you even slept "with my friend" youre trifflin "to the end" you and me "never again" you never payed a bill never asked how i feel you never payed attention never take time to listen you a sorry piss poor of a man you been around the block you even slept with my friend you think you got it like that when in fact it's not like that you need to step on back listen to all these facts you a sorry piss poor of a man you been around the block you even slept with my friend "friend" repeat2x:
There once was a man who lived in Sherwood, Who all the folks called Robin Hood. He stole from the greedy, And gave to the needy, But would steal from the poor if he could!
Porkpie Jones has brittle bones, and crusted corn-filled toes, And sleety eyes and bulgy thighs, and brillo pad elbows, His underarms are typical farms, and reek a barnyard smell, Its quite the place for creepy, crawly, parasites to dwell, The ample dirt in his ears and on his head has just began to harden, There's so much dirt on him everywhere, he could grow a flower garden, The birds fall quickly from the sky, whenever he starts to speak, His teeth and gums are as black as coal, and all his bone joints squeak, He trips when he walks, spits when he talks, and spills everywhere when he drinks, Three triple Dagwood sandwiches to him are a light snack, his decorum and etiquette stinks... The ground shakes when he takes a step, and cars fly when he sneezes, And he feels free to dine and snack on anything he pleases! The sight of water gives him chills, and soap will make him screech, He can't fit in his bathtub, so he bathes at the beach, Porkpie dives into his drinks, and scorns the use of cups, And when he falls, some will laugh, but the ground starts cracking up... He's never been able to touch his toes, he can't reach any farther than his hips, When he bends over, its always a treat to experience a total eclipse, His home is in disarray, it needs improvement, Porkie Orlivander Jones scorns unnecessary movement, He's absolutely clueless, on how to close the gate, Or feed his starving fish, or wash his every dish, Or vacuum his entire floor, where dust mites romp and roam, Or change his heaping can of trash thats nearly large as Nome, Loads of bills that he won't pay, coat his table tops, He puts his Suitcase in his closet, right next to the lamb chops, Porkpie never was that bright, in school he was a tease, In fact I think his grades were so low, that he would get straight Z's! Well we all can learn a lesson here, I'm sure that all is known, That we must keep our appearances neat, and always brush and scrub our feet, And be respectful when we eat, or we could all end up like Mr. Porkpie Orlivander Alowicious Alexander GianCarlo Markowitcz Jones!!!!!
I look around and it is you I see A girl who is a stock market catastrophe You are a high risk investment that won't pay out You put on your makeup like bathroom grout I have no idea where you fall in the official rank But your body can break a man's bank So what you have changed the color of your hair Your personality is a car without it's spare Keep in mind, this is just me and my point of view You are that piece of meat spit out because it was too tough to chew You are the left over beer that wasn't drank But your body can break a man's bank Your face is like a painting that looks good from far away Men still flock around you to my dismay You are the results of an out of hand prank But your body can break a man's bank The perfume is not hiding the fact that you don't bathe That tells me it's not cuddle time you crave I give up, be straight with me You are from the gutter, but men treat you like the queen bee In a word game, your brain is the blank But your body can break a man's bank
Our son asked can a friend stay over He just moved here from dover The friend says tonight's Friday, usually we have pig's innards He says my name is Cleetus Billy Joe Jim Bob Jones, after he stutters out his name, it's time for dinner But you can call me Bubba, he seems very polite I pray no nightmares as Bubba spends the night I tell him we are having Makerel Cakes and Mac and Cheese He says I will take four cakes and two helpings if you please Boy you sure do have an appetite I tell my son our budget won't allow Bubba to ever again spend the night Soon dinner is over and Bubba still wants to eat I grab a funnel and melted bacon fat and tell him to have a seat He says we eat fatback soup sometimes on a weekday He tells me the doctor tells his whole family, that sometime their arteries will turn to clay bubba says I don't eat for calories, I eat for taste I tell Bubba, if you keep eating like that you will become hazardous waste He laughs and cheers in delight This all happened when Cleetus Billy Joe Jim Bob Jones spent the night At 2 am he asks for a snack I give him a sleeve of Ritz crackers and a pound of Monterey Jack I hand him a jar of Grey Puopon He says after I eat this, there may be trouble in your john He smiles and asks for a Diet Coke I try to watch my health, I don't drink or smoke Eight more hours, then our budget will be alright He asks when is the next time I can spend the night
I Hope it Rains… I Hope it Thunders with Lightning I Hope The Wind Kicks-Up, 'til its Frightening I Hope There's a Hurricane Sighting… 'Cause, that's How I Feel, Right Now 'Cause You're Leaving Me Anyhow After All the Love I Gave to You… … Now, I can't even Talk to You … I Hope It Rains… I Hope it Snows… I Hope an Ice-Berg - Breaks Your Back at the Door I Hope a Blizzard - Buries You… Ice-Age-Slow I Hope an Avalanche 'Catch ya', as You Go… 'Cause, that's How I Feel, Right Now 'Cause You're Leaving Me Anyhow After All The Love I Gave to You… Now, I can't even Reason with You … I Hope It Snows… … This is The Fury, of a Woman Scorned … if I had my way… You'd Never Been Born ! … I Hope It Storms… I Hope it Hails… I Hope it Hits You in the Head and Beats You Down I Hope it Crushes Your Heart and Dreams – All Around ! I Hope it Knocks Your Suitcase and Soul, to the Ground … Honey … I Hope You Never Make it to Town… 'Cause that's How I Feel, Right Now 'Cause You're Leaving Me Anyhow After All The Love I Gave to You… Now, I can't even Hold Onto You … Look – Here Comes The Rain … Here Comes The Rain… I Hope The Clouds – Start Fighting I Hope the Air – Starts Biting I Hope You're in a Tornado and It Starts Tightening … I Hope it Floods Out There – 'til You Look Like A Viking ! … Here Comes The Rain … Here Comes The Rain
Have your shelf, a merry little bookcase, because you know it's true Your books are piling up and you don't know what to do.... So have your shelf a merry little library.....too
Cowboys don't fear the coyote, he just yips and yowls, But the wolf is another story, your blood chills when he howls. And a panther, will stalk you, even in the dark, And a bear, when he catches you, will tear you clean apart. The best thing about a snake bite, is it kills you pretty quick, And those "under a rock crawlies", their bite will make you deathly sick. But the most vicious of the critters, the one every Cowboy fears, Inflicts a type of torture, that can leave grown men in tears. With a bite so excruciating, it will make you wish that you were dead, And there's nothing more terrifying, than when it raises it's ugly head. It attacks without warning, it's cold-hearted and just plain mean, It considers all men prey, and will any one that's seen. The suffering, is lingering, and to this very day, There's no cure or medication, that can take the pain away. It's just the size of a pin point, and it don't get much bigger, But I've seen Cowboys brought to their knees, by the savage bite, of the Chigger.
Chilly October has quickly brought in another spirited, indelible Holloween; allowing our witty and insane minds to plan the craziest, wildest things. Witches, wizards, goblins and ghosts all join in to give a bone-chilling night; I put on a custom so dazzlingly white, to scare anyone who laughs and boasts. This ghost is never spoken of in any tale, unknown by name, leaving no easy trail; the only thing he does well is making sneers, and send everyone scrambling with screams. How frightened and pale these kids must really be, when they cuddle up in their beds and can't sleep, thinking of those spirits at their doorsteps; lots of fun and delight at their expense... Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci
i feel you oozing out, like a rollercoaser, ima take you on a journey, like a rollercoaster, ima make you climax, like a rollercoaster, im not done yet, this just begun ima kiss and tease, bring you down to your knees, rub me, lick me, you better aim to please
Blue was feeling melancholy and was far from feeling jolly by the window of his quarters on that moonlight night in May. The old mate was broken hearted since young Jess and he had parted: that's the Jillaroo from Bancroft who had jilted him that day. And old Blue would really miss 'er, as she was a bonzer kisser, and he told this to a large green frog perched on the window ledge. This poor Ringer quite horrid, as his hand held up his forehead, and he gave the frog the run down like it was some privilege. "Do you have a girlfriend, froggy, that just leaves your mind all foggy when she puckers up to kiss you and she makes you feel on high? As a kisser Jess was real hot and I reckon by a long shot she was up there with the best of them … except perhaps for Di. "She's the blonde girl that's a Nanny, on the place where my mate Danny breaks in horses every summer, and a looker, that's for sure. Mate, this Di she was a goer and I'm glad I got to know 'er, as that girl could suck your lips off and she'd leave you wanting more. "But we broke up in the summer, which I thought was a real bummer, so I hitched up with her cousin who'd come out to stay a while. This gal was a city floozie and her name I think was Suzie and her tongue it darned near choked me, but she certainly had style. "Then she went back to the city, which I thought was a real pity, still, I met young Katie Swenson at the rodeo that night. Sucking face was that girl's passion, but I soon went out of fashion, as I found she kissed near anything that came within her sight. "So it's hard, mate, just to pick one that I fancied as the best fun, as they all bring back fond memories but they all slipped through my grip." He just sat there quite dejected and it came quite unexpected when a moth alighted on the top of poor old Bluey's lip. The frog's tongue flew into action, but his aim was down a fraction and it rattled the old tonsils in the back of Bluey's throat. The old Ringer's eyes went teary and his sight went kind of bleary and the words that bushman uttered I'm afraid I cannot quote. To this day it's told by bush folk and believe me, this is no joke, it is ritual when Bluey goes to town and hits the grog, that he tells the same sick story, how no girls can match the glory of that moonlight night in May when he was tongue-kissed by a frog.
Off the road again Just our ATV's And some good friends Hitting the trails And winding bends Starting and Making Some new and different trends On our ATV's once again Cleaning the mud and gunk From our teeth that just blends With our armor that continues to defend The king of off road that just wants to send A here's mud in your eye to all My good buddies and friends Tribute To ATV's Here's Mud In Your Eye LOL Love Kathy & Jenny Maybe Next Song Too
Love is not the answer to every issue out there There are choices brunettes, blondes or curly hair So we pile in my car to go check them out They look at us laugh and shout I'ts so obvious what's so funny, this really shows it Cruisin' with my homies on four doughnuts Three homies and I are burning some gas I am stressed, I just ran over some glass The tires stay firm, do not go flat You can't explain something like that Big Bertha asks for a ride, but with her weight, the car just won't hold it She will not be cruisin' with me and the homies on four doughnuts Stop at the store to get some brews Out of Colt 45 so the Bulls will have to do We catch a nice buzz, good enough to make me smile Fuel will be a concern in a few more miles After the beer, we combine our pocket change I payed for the beer and the gas, isn't that strange Girls can now be our main focus My tires are from a Ford, Chevy, Dodge and a Lotus It's always an adventure with me and the homies cruisin' on four doughnuts
I get up early in the morning To take a bath, and as usual I will train my voice, singing. So, I turn on the tap And get into the shower; The water is not hot, nor cold. I mixed it in perfection; and It started slowly beating upon naked body, Smoothly blending with my morning voice. I sing a song, my own composition--- "All I Wanted To See", As I apply soap all over me. After couples of minutes Of self cleansing, And I'm now into the final act. I gather my strength, for the finale; bold But as I took turn, my butt hit the knob to the right. I ended the song, with a shivering; whaah….it's too cold! My breath's gasping, and gasping; But, wife did not even mind a thing, For she thought it's my normal sing.
L-O-V-E by Amy Swanson (c) May, 1998 (dedicated to every woman who's ever had one of these!) Hey now Mr. Satin Sheets, you think you're so fine... wouldn't give you the time of day, here's the reason why: You're a womanizer, pulverizer, think you're so sly, but let me tell you something honey - your heart is like ice. You try so hard to hide, but it's easy to see, there's one little word you need to learn... it's L-O-V-E. Now I don't care how sweet you talk, but honey it's your walk that would make me come around, and give you my heart, but lately, what I'm seein' just ain't lookin' too good... it's evident to me, that your soul is like wood. You think you've got my number, but you still need the dime; gotta know for certain boy, you'll never be mine. You try so hard to hide, but it's easy to see, there's one little word you need to learn... it's L-O-V-E. Now, I'll admit, you had me in circles for a little while, and all it took, was just one look, and a sweet... smile. But, baby, I've been down this road before; I took the scenic route... but I'm not taking it anymore! So baby... take your velvet talk and groovy lines too.... I ain't playin' anymore, cause it ain't cool. Said you'd give me the world, all I got was a lie - You gotta know, there's just some things that money don't buy. I was looking for love, but instead I found you It's my opinion honey, you don't have a clue. You try so hard to hide, but it's easy to see, there's one little word you need to learn... it's L-O-V-E. Yeah, you'll be cryin' baby, that's easy to see til you learn about that little word, L-O-V-E. go on back to school, learn a few things don't come back to me.
yes, all I want for Christmas is my 2 front doors, my 2 front doors, my 2 front doors... yeah, all I want for Christmas is my 2 front doors my 2 front doors... to replace the ones broken in once more! Santa comes down the chimney But theives come thru my door Breakin' in again this week To see what is left to take anymore.. All that they will find, shards of wood... and doorknob lying on the floor just remnants of what was once... my sturdy old front door...
Get all your fashion tips here My fashion is in a higher gear Your fashion nightmares are over if you keep this in mind Just call the Queen of fashion at 1-800-SO-FINE The phone is already ringing off the hook To be honest , I will listen, but I would rather take a look Let me answer the first call of the show Why it's Bev Sanders from Ohio Yes, Queen I have a question concerning pink shoes Pink goes with any color, so you have nothing to lose Did that help your stress Yes, your advice was priceless Next caller, what's your dilemma? That is a first, I never have spoken to a female named Emma Yes Queen, where are the sales this week I can't help you there, because I want to keep looking chic Well I have to go, my stores are waiting Tomorrow I will tell which stores I shopped at and which one got the highest rating So tune in tomorrow with the Queen where fashion is my passion with the best personality Women don't dress better than me That's why you call, so I can keep you in line So put my number on your speed dial, 1-800-SO-FINE
We leave on vacation to see the Grand Canyon I ask my son when is the last time ha changed his socks, his feet smell like salmon My wife laughs and says that isn't his feet, it's his breath I tell her no more equate toothpaste, we're switching to Crest My wife says in a panicky voice, I forgot my social life line I tell her to calm down, everything will be fine She says, turn around and head toward home with the speed of a Russian Mig We can't take this trip, I can't be without my wig One hour and two tickets later we finally arrive back home Now she has her wig in hand and her voice has a nice, calm tone She says what are we waiting for, let's be on our way It's only 9:30am, it's already been a long, long day Now we are back to the area where we had to turn around I remember that singles club called Lost and Found As evening settles in, we stop by an eatery called The Autumn Twig She says please bear with me as I put on my wig My son and I sit in the car quietly, as we are close to death from a lack of food My wife tells us let's enjoy our vacation, you two need to adjust your attitudes We sit in the car and watch as people come out of this greasy spoon diner I keep reading their slogan, If you're lookin' for rib stickin' food ain't none finer I keep having these visions of me at the table, eating so much, my wife and son call me a pig Finally she is done fixing her wig I watch in horror as the Diner's lights go off My dream is gone, no pig, no trough She says in disgust, that's just great, where can we get a bite to eat now I tell her about a barbecue joint five up the road called Four Sides of a Cow She says okay, but I could not belive what she just did She smiles and says I told you everything will be okay, as she removes her wig We arrive outside the place rated as some of the best barbecue around She throws her wig on the dash and laughs like a circus clown She says my hunger has taken over, I believe she's flipped her lid She says let's go on inside, these people don't know me, they have never seen me without my wig
Rabbit was my turtle who never won a race Red is my fish but he's blue in the face And I love my pets but they do no tricks So I play all day and sleep at night with my sidekicks My sidekicks~ Wa! Cha! My sidekicks~ Wa! Cha! Sometimes we stand on bricks, play swords with sticks Sometimes we have tools for fixin', lollipops for lickin' But when it's time quit and switch, they're still my fav clique My sidekicks~ Wa! Cha! My sidekicks~ Wa! Cha! (Chorus) Smokey is my cat and I love him too Got a little kitty, named her Crystal blue And another fish in a bowl I call Fins But they do no tricks, so I play with my sidekicks again I got Teddy and Roy and my bulldog Bully And at bath time I get to dunk my pal Sully Then there's Croc but is he an alligator And Fishy is orange, before I see you later I gotta tell ya Mr. Duck is now Mr. Quacks But my favs of all time is Tang Tang and Scratch And though they're stuffed animals~ they do all the tricks Like my play friend Jerry- they're my sidekicks (Chorus) A Song for my son Caleb at age 4
Hee Haw Hee Haw Come join Buck and Roy for some picking and grinning for us all Hee Haw Hee Haw Now look at Junior and Lula Giving a big salute from the corn fields so tall Hee Haw Hee Haw There goes Granpa Jone and String Bean Slapping their chest and knees To a banjo and a harmonica's call Hee Haw Hee Haw Let's listen to Jim and John Sernading to the gals of Kornfield's lumber shaw Hee Haw Hee Haw Now don't forget about Minnie Pearl and her straw hat with tag swinging in the breeze from a yodel caw Hee Haw Hee Haw Well folks it's time to wrap up this salute for all those who gave it their all from the wacked out show known as Hee Haw Hee Haw Tribute To The Cast And Crew Of Hee Haw Thanks For The Laughs RIP Buck Owens
Rumors are known to cut like knives Start fights and end lives All becauce a hater despises What they've seen through their beedy eyes Foulness covered by flies Unknown demise A demons chest game played with real lives He said, she said, with a little bit of what you've said Leaves some one dead All from words that got in to some body head Rising situations like to much yeast in a small batch of bread Scared of the out come so you flee in your mind Revisit the drama another time Things don't change Words still inflecting pain like magic BING! BAM! BANG! Another rumor rapes a name Heated like hells flames Jealousy indures creating a killer like the first murderer Kane Names lay slain Slandered by the foulist of mouths Skeletons pulled from the closet to be placed in piles Brains began to crowd Smiles now frowns Ups now downs Like tears from a clown Emotions burst out People lash out against the innocent Whom have nothing to do with it The hater wins again
The deer is a warm and fresh road kill Will go good with the moonshine from your still That red neck life style you will always have Red Necks don't have to have a reason to be mad You feel that on taxes you always get screwed Hunting animals doesn't take a mood Not accepting others for who they are Gas guzzling huntin' trucks, there are no cars Your baby never given a passy Just a hunk of tobbacky You spit your tobbacky juice in a mason jar Fertilize the grass, so you empty it in the yard A bathroom is where you make it In the bed of your truck, you and your old lady got caught naked You brag to the Reds at work about your latest run in with the cops A few beers later, it's time to raid the Goodwill box As a bona fide Red Neck it is your life's mission To pass these quality traits to your son, it's a tradition Red Necks in the south are a dime a dozen Most marry their next of kin, usually their cousins Support your local Red Neck, the bumper sticker reads It fine print it's local chapter 233 In the parking lot outside your favorite bar Friday night puking, too much PBR Saturday morning fatback and beans Coats the stomach, now you can drink I cannot criticize Red Necks for living this way What is normal in society these days
What would you do, If I snored out of tune, Would you dump a pail of water on me? Lend me your pillow And I'll snore you out a croon, I will try to keep my snoring to me.... Ruby; I don't have a sandman, but I do have two concrete users, Rocco, and Vinny (Asphalt Vinny, they call him) and I hear they're lookin' for me!
You claim to be on top of everything, if someone has done it, you have done it better When it was cold, you said you knitted the entire workforce sweaters You sweep most people under the rug You are member of the Menza's exclusive club You tell Miss Betty why she was left behind Only the best were selected, part of the intelligent design You tell me I am dumb as a man can come But according to you I am not the only one You always have to make people feel insecure Then you wonder why when you approach they all steer clear I am wondering all the bridges you burn, is it worth the cost You live by the saying a rolling stone gathers no moss You try to be perfect as Miss 5-2-9 You and your family are the foundation of intelligent design You always feel the need to shine You tell everyone you are the top of the line You are the main attraction at the show You can always tell everyone what they don't know If I conquered a hill, there are ten mountains you have climbed You will always claim it's intelligent design
Virgin Brain is my name, Served on the Disneyworld choo-choo 'Til my supervisor came, and tore up my time card again... In the summer of '95... I joined the Templar Knights Kind'a dig that kind of jive.... By August the tenth, My assignment to me had fell, And it was one that would lead me straight to hell... The Knight I Drove the Old Pixie Down, and tom bell was ringin' The Knight I drove the Old Pixie Down, and the children were singing, The Knight Who Drove the Old Pixie Down! They went; da, da, da, how friggin' dumb da,da, da, your brain is numb da, duh?, da, duh?, da, da, da! da, da, da, da, da, da, da.... Back in my tenement in Brooklyn, When one day a young cop did call me, Virgin , come quick, you're wanted for robbery!! Now I don't mind servin' time But the food is no good, Just be sure, the crime is mine... Ya take the sentence given, and ya gotta' serve your time.. But they never should have taken... My denim vest! Like my mother before me, I will work the ol' rockpile... Like the guards above me, I will seldom smile.. I was just dumb, stupid and niave But the cops got me, so they could save.... The little pixie I was stalking Prepared to take her down, And they got me just before I was about to have found... The nasty little pixie, So evil and so sly, No wonder someone had paid me, To see that pixie die... The Knight Who Drove Old Pixie Down, The Knight Who Drove Old Pixie Down And the stoolies were singin' They went....Ya, ya, ya, he's guilty Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya... I swear by the ball and chain On my feet You can't release a con too soon.... When he's up for parole, He'd have a better chance, on the moon..... Repeat chorus and fade...
"I Came Upon A Midnight Beer..." I came upon a midnight beer in my sleepwalkin' thirsty search... In my glorious P.J.'s old... My backside flap was ripped open... But I did not feel the cold.... I popped the lid, and gulped it down, And thought I heard angels sing.... "Let's go find another, my friend.... Cause this is the real deal thing!"
When we all get to Heaven You may see me walkin' Here there everywhere For I'm just a blue ridge mountain boy thumbing for a ride down a lonely banjo road With old Joe Clark livin just' two doors down from me Leaning on the everlasting arms Of his sweet Tennessee Rose gal If teardrops were pennies I could buy two more bottles of wine So please Mr. Sandman I'm crying my heart out over you For this is all I can do As I pick these bluegrass banjo blues From my Tennessee Mountain home roads That I once knew Just A Bluegrass song working on LOL
my mama was an alien, my daddy was an engineer, and i was spawned from the borg one morn with keyboards in my ears, in my eeeeearrs. they call me the microsoft hacker, once upon a pair of wires, and i'm gooonne [crack my numbers] i wonder how your PC's feeln' [ba ba ba baaaa] scoot down the wires, [crack my numbers] i wonder how your PC's feeln' [ba ba ba baa baa]
Oh, give me a shot of that whiskey My life makes me need it so much So, give me a shot of that whiskey And quickly, because I'm in a rush The liquor, when quicker, is thrilling The feeling I get is found ease So, quickly I'll drink without spilling Give me that shot right now, please I have dollars a plenty to give you My money is quite good I'd say I'll tell you right now what to do Just leave me the bottle, I'll pay So… Give me a shot of that whiskey You know I can handle it well For when I get drunk I get frisky So, if I'm with you please don't tell
I've finally figured it out! I really have!! Why they call it crumb cake... I should have known.... I was blind, But now I see, My wife Grace, Told it to me! Yes, It's amazing Grace... Why it's called that... It's because it tastes crummy.......
Why rush me Rushily To rush up Your rushy job When rushing Rushily To rush up The rushy job I was rushing. To rush So as to beat the rush?
Done a freep ninl baby, preez done a freep Done a freep ninl baby, preez done a freep Done a freep ninl baby, preez done a freep Done a freep ninl baby, preez done a freep Done a freep, done a freep, done a freep, done a freep Done a freep ninl baby, preez done a freep. (Repeat All) (Translation) Go to sleep little baby, please go to sleep Go to sleep little baby, please go to sleep Go to sleep little baby, please go to sleep Go to sleep little baby, please go to sleep Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep Go to sleep little baby, please go to sleep
We take Bubba home to drop him off His father and mother come out, they begin to hack and cough His father extends his hand out to shake mine My wife says don't be rude, go ahead and shake it, I do so, his hand is covered with mucuossy slime After shaking his hand, I begin to gag The wife with no bra, smiles and hands me a Save A Lot shopping bag She takes a swig from her 32 oz brew Then offers it to my wife Sue I say come on, it is your turn to show manners now As she takes a swallow, I watch her face, the expression looked like she was trying to give birth to a cow Bubba asks his father if we can all stay the night The father says fittin' us all in one bedroom will be very tight I tell him we will sleep in the kitchen near the back door He says pay no mind to critters on the floor I ask where is the toilet, I have to go He says out back, you're in luck, I just dug a fresh new hole I think to myself, this is not the way life should be A night at Bubba's I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy At 3 am, they are in the kitchen stepping over us getting snacks We are offered each a bowl of that famous soup called fatback Bubba yells I want my box of cupcakes His mom hands a pack of Reelfoot pork hot dogs and says for goodness sakes He devours them as if he was in a hot dog eating contest Bubba says, after I eat my cupcakes, that will tie me over so I can rest A little after 4, Bubba gets his fill After breakfast, we were told we can leave on our own free will After trying some rocky mountain oysters, it is time we leave The dad says we would love to come and stay with y'all on New Year's Eve I tell him until 2040 we have plans He says that's fine that will give them enough time to collect some aluminum cans We move to another state with no forwarding address Never again putting ourselves in that kind of mess
everywhere i go its like im walking runways all eyes be on me like christ on sundays i aint gotta pray no moe god lives next doe i sit so high i thought i letcha knoe i am "what" ur not thats a sure shot theres no takin myspace this is no parking lot ima tell ya right nie theres no testin me if ya all in my face ima press delete i careless about ya crew and you too if dem bit-ches wanna play i'll delete dem too yeah i know you mad that im so hot that im negative number 1 on tha bill board spot i aint gotta blaze i dont have to haze but ur heat is temporary like microwaves u in this race u jogged while i ran and yes sirrrr, i got fans in the klan i heard a rapper say somethin that was real real cleaver that he was the best rapper alive but bit-ch im tha best ever
you life, is so far ahead but your strife is now dead you want, now to step aside but it haunts to swallow your pride let it be free let it all see that the truth is into the sea you just reprise that it may be unwise this is somthing you dont want to be so swallow your pride just swallow your pride and dont let it hurt inside let your pain go let it go slow and then you just wont know now give it a try.......Swallow your pride!!!
We open at 5 and close at sunset I expect a lot of production, I provide water and towels for sweat A complimentary lunch that comes in a can There is a choice of ham or turkey made from SPAM They love the conditions, so they don't want to stop I have many benefits owning my own sweatshop I have people making jeans and shoes My business, by the Department of Labor has been approved One girl is pregnant, but not by me Her parents put the blame on Cathy Lee Now another 16 hour shift has ended Immigration came through, my business license has been suspended They say I am the cause of tax evasion Oh well, I have enough money, time for a vacation I ask Cathy lee to meet me at the New Haven Truck Stop I need expert advice on how to run a sweatshop She has given me the advice I need She said don't use cotton, save money by switching to tweed She also said lower their wages For defiant workers, provide empty cages It all comes down to making your business the cream of the crop I got advice from the expert on how to run my own sweatshop
She came to me by air Milky white skin, long blonde hair She promises me I will never be lonely again I have her to love, I have a best friend We shall never argue over petty things With her there, the house will always be clean Then one day Dana shows up at my front steps Petite young lady, green eyes and a brunette I realize by the end of the day Madeline would just be in the way That evening, I show Madeline to the door I tell her I don't love her anymore The next morning I realize what I have done When I chose Dana over Madeline, I chose the wrong one I leave Dana at the house to go find Madeline While searching for her, I tell myself, this can't be the end After days of searching, I find her in a second hand store I approach to convince her, she's the one I adore The looks I get as I give her a hug and a kiss As I tell of my favorite things and she is at the top of the list So we leave together to go back home A bottle of wine, steak and disconnect the phone Today I have to send both lovelies back to prostatic friends and lovers incorporated Dana will not return to me, to get a refund for her has made me frustrated However, Madeline will be refurbished and returned to me like new My Madeline, blonde hair and eyes of crystal blue
Some people are wealthy Some people are healthy Some people are sick Some people are fit Some people are nice Some people are wise Some people are efficient Some people are intelligent Some people are loyal Some people are social Some people are busy Some people are lazy Some people are worthy Some people are sturdy Some people are seekers Some people are speakers Some people are frantic Some people are romantic Some people are stylish Some people are childish Some people are pious Some people are studious Some people are capable Some people are lovable Some people are moody Some people are steady Some people are cheerful Some people are careful Although people are of different types They all have equal rights.
ay mamacita ay ay ay mamacita ay mamacita ay ay ay mamacita ay mamacita wats yo name the way you walk yo butt keep switchin lanes im lovin yo smile girl you actin fowl the way you drop it low down to the ground i like your features and the way you dance i wanna know ya i wanna be ya man we can take it slow i can be ya friend the pleasure is mine just dont recline (hey) ay mamacita ay ay ay mamacita ay mamacita ay ay ay mamacita i like the way you roll burberry clothes you look kinda young sixteen years old it dont matter i wanna get together heres my digits you can call m later after the club you can come on over we can sit and talk all on my sofa you gonna open the door so i can greet ya in the dark hole where i can feed ya ima slither on in then take it out ima push it back in juice oozing out (oh) ay mamacita ay ay ay mamacita ay mamacita ay ay ay mamacita )))ayyyyy(((
I look to the good for you I cook the food for you I'm made of brass I run on gas For your aims I have the flames For making the tea You rely on me Breakfast gets ready for you I'm so steady for you I make the lunch for you I also make the brunch for you You always have a nice dinner Well prepared by my hot burner
Amazing armor apparels An amazing apparatus Appearing and ascending Above all aimless attics All are attics After assigning apparent actions Amongst atmospheric allies…also Assembles and annexes an anecdote Animals also assemble and apprehend Any available areas Alert and aware about alternatives, Apportionment among animals are Actually awesome.
i only wanna go to popeyes i like to eat the biscuit and fries and the chicken so spi-ccccy, or mild, so spi-ccccy, or mild
I'm the woman behind the man behind the wheel Let's Giddy -Up-Go My phantom 309 Give me forty acres Eighteen wheels And a dozen roses For this is a trucker's last ride Eastbound Westbound Let's start us a Convoy I know there's a love story in the making under the bright Kansas City lights Roll on Big Mama This is your Teddy Bear from the old home filler up and keep Cafe Just put the hammer down and let's see how fast them a trucks can a go For Mama knows the highway And the girl on the billboard too Rolling past on a trucking cafe With my big wheels in the moonlight Rolling me away from you For I'm a truck driving Mama Looking for someone else I once knew { Over and I'm Goneeee } LOL Tribute To Our Truckers Of The Roads Also a song again working on lol
Girls look in your direction and see you comin' In the opposite direction, they start runnin' You claim you are in excellent shape Your face is a train wreck and you cinch in your gut with electrical tape You drive a Yugo, it's color is Slime Green You say you are just over run with bling bling How can you claim you have the perfect life You are married to an inflatable wife Women look at you and begin to cuss as they run for cover Somebody spray painted a name on the car, it reads Medusa's Brother You have no clue why everyone calls you M B You believe they are saying M D, you think it's short for Mac Daddy You wear your favorite tee shirt that reads World's Greatest Lover In the females eyes you will always be Medusa's Brother Well M B, for you there is some bad news You will always be singing the lonely man's blues You have asked M TV to pimp your ride They can fix your car but your face you can't hide You say well, I guess it's true, a man's best friend is his mother But did occur to you, your mom also calls you Medusa's Brother
Take me out to the Brawl-game Take me out where it's loud Buy me some ammo and some crack, I don't care, who we attack Cause it's Roto-Rooter for the losers, We'll flush them right down the john Cause it's fire one! Fire two! Fire three! And your out, Of this old brawl game!
Left my home in Jamaica, headed for the Hampton Bay I had no medical insurance, Looked like none was gona come my way So I'm just sittin' on the Doc. of the Bay Wishin' health would flow my way Just sittin' on the Doc of the Bay, Wasting rhyme........ I came down with nasty shingles My skin was try'in to crawl away, I went to this Doc. in Hampton He was more than odd, I must say He wanted to bleed me with a leech Then dye my hair with bleach I thought this was mighty weird To understand it would be a reach I sensed I was in danger, This turkey had a lesson to teach So I threw him with Ju-Jitsu speed and down he went His pride I did breach Then I sat upon his sore old body Waitin' for the cops to come, If jail was my destination, I would sure feel the bum So reflectively I sat there, And even started to whistle and hum Just sittin' on the Doc of the Bay, Wishin' this day would go away, Just sittin" on the Doc of the Bay Ready to serve time.............
You've got it going on, you're packin' the heat in your trunk is a sweet, sweet treat As you walk on by, the boys break their necks With your shake, rattle and roll, you've passed my test Is your mother like you, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree Give me few moments of your time Bootycyze Me Let's take a stroll in the park sometime You walk ahead, I'll walk behind Tell me profile, give me your 4-1-1 Let's get together, you have the equipment for fun You have a enough backside, you can share with me Up close or at a distance, I like what I see Give me a few moments of your time, Bootycyze Me You are smokin', so red hot All the girls ask what she got that I ain't got A word to the old, a word to the wise You will know it when you've been Bootycyzed Cassanova, Prince Charming and Don Juan, I am all three Give me a few moments of your time, Bootycyze Me
She's the finest one I have ever seen She requires a bath, but can't handle the Afro Sheen She is high maintenance, which I don't mind She receives complements from time to time There is something special about her, I just can't explain It always excites me when I'm inside Jane She is long and sexy, a real lady to me And everyone that meets her does agree No other can compare With all my friends she is shared She was expensive, I paid an outrageous price She's my pie, but I don't mind you having a slice I own her, she is my property She has demonstrated unswerving loyalty I think I will change her name to Candy Cane I control the heat inside Jane She is getting up there in age, I may soon have to replace her The next lady I buy, I will call her Jennifer After my use of her last time I discovered a stain Came from a dog that wasn't properly trained I apologized to her and asked her not to be mad She has been the most loyal one I have ever had She is more than eager to entertain What? Cut the dirty thoughts, she's my private plane
its on and you know its on we got it goin on aint nobody goin home its on and you know its on i got the club bumpin everybody groovin i doodle like a rooster glide like a bird when i walk i make tunes ya neva herd its on and you know its on we got it goin on aint nobody goin home its on and you know its on i got the club bumpin everybody groovin im on tha dam stage tearin up tha mic spittin hot ryhms like Tina and Ike i got money on my mind its time to go to the next hot spot makin that doe its a bird its a plane yea its me pha sho flyin to the next club to do a show Oh no i see this girl maxcine she have a big booty i never seen from the left to right i see the fellaz eyez gleem she can recruit her own football team I do tha lean everybody scream when the beat kicks in everybody scream from the left to the right everybody lean yeah, everybody scream its on and you know its on we got it goin on aint nobody going home its on and you know its on i got the club bumpin everybody groovin people overseas singing my song I even got it on my ringtone its on its on its on, its on its on its on its on, its on its on its on its on, its on yeah, you know we got it goin on
On their wedding day "The Days of Our Lives" was played Congregation laughed © Joseph, 9/20/07 © All Rights Reserved I wrote this while attending a wedding. This is serious! lol! The traditional or classic Japanese senryu format has three lines: the first has five syllables, second has seven syllables and the third five syllables. The pattern is 5/7/5 for a total of seventeen syllables. The senryu is generally about an emotional expression.
What's that you're saying? You say that I should get over you? Well, honey, I don't have to get over you! We've broken up and I am a mess You can't handle that I guess You say that since we are through I should just get over you! ~Chorus~ I don't have to get over you! I'm kinda enjoying being blue You say I should find somebody new I don't have to get over you! I'm getting into crying myself to sleep It cleanses the soul when you weep My friends give me all this special attention Whenever your name they happen to mention Walking the floor is good for my heart I have lost weight since we've been apart Saving money on groceries, too No, I don't have to get over you! ~Chorus~ My mama calls me nearly every night She is worried about me alright She can't stand seeing her baby this blue I am her favorite, now that we're through What? What did you just say? You've decided to come home to stay Well baby, I hate to do this to you But you better get over me, too I don't have to get over you! I've kinda enjoyed being blue I went out and found somebody new Now, I don't have to get over you!
Old tucker brown wanted to Go fishing, He sat and planned his day Of activity, He got his fishing gear, with His rubber boots in hand, "Oh my gosh" It is pouring cats and dogs, Maybe a Cadillac, One…… At the most, do not know the Color… For the clouds were so very Black.. Well, At least he thought it was, You could see his anticipation As he looked out the window The excitement aroused as A rainbow appeared.. He cried out… With a big yell.. While the wind cease to Sway…. Clouds dissipated over the little Fishing pond.. Down the hill…. Well now, it stop pouring cats And dogs.. Therefore, he kept the Cadillac, which Color I do not know.. "Oh My Lordy" Indeed, it is a miracle for the big Guy, seen fit to pour him out a Coffee color Cadillac, Four door Deville… A platter of catfish and the Trimmings Even a shrimp or two My God, who can ask for Anything more, Except for me a pearl color Escalade… I wish… But the story is about old Tucker Brown...
on dubs, on my way, to the club cadillackin all the fellaz showin lov ice tea in the lac yeah im drinking that all my girls in the back yeah they looking phat walk up in the club lookin real fly smoke scene i walk through i caught ya eye ice cream yeah they know i have nice things bam boom bada bing i make ya eyes gleem no we wont stop no we wont stop "no" we can not stop we can not "hell no" repeat 5x: we up in the club where i do my damn thang playing the cuts dj playin the bang fellas on the side i make ya get a high got a taste of my love without stickin inside instrumental break: no we wont stop no we wont stop "no" we can not stop we can not "hell no" repeat2x: on the flo you like the way i twork that when in fact you not gon get to hit that its like a dice cuz you shakin all in yo pants dont raise yo hands cuz im not gon letcha stick it in got it lock in the club where its gettin hot we at the best of the best we at the hot spot
get wild get down all the ladies drop it down to the ground get wild get loose all the ladies shake yo kaboos now step to the flo and do the tootsie roll drop it low and bend ya back on the pole now turn off the lights naw turn them back on i see a fine dizzle with a tight dress on close the door and report to th floor close your eyes, ima dance between ya thighs makin it hot,doin what ya heart desire makin it hot,makin it hot like fire lets mingle are you single if you are lets make a hit jingle get wild get down all the ladies drop it down to the ground get wild get loose all the ladies shake yo kaboos when the beat kicks in everybody scream get wild, get loose everybody scream
relax your mind cause its about that time tonite we bump and grind we cant waste no time boy im feelin you im hungry for you if you do it right a sista, might cook for you plz dont say a word im takin over (yeah) "word" ima take it slow up and down i grind real slow you climbing up the stairs until ive reached my peak you plugged real deep then you erupted me creme filin, oozin my mind im, losin i like the way you take control this feelin-taken over me relax your mind cause its about that time tonite we bump and grind we can do it all night relax your mind cause its about that time tonite we bump and grind we cant waste no time
I've worked hard to have my franchise I am surrounded by bleach blondes with green eyes I was no homecoming king, I received no coronation Please take a stab at my certification I don't study the existence of life I am a working man, no time for a wife My certification is not a Biologist No study of the mind, I am not a Psychologist I've gone to the school of hard knocks My business covers many city blocks Every night is a celebration I have yet to tell you my certification I don't like Dinosaurs, I am not a Paeleontologist I can't put anyone in a trance, I am no Hypnotist My education is from up and down the streets I am not on doughnut patrol, I don't walk a beat I am definitely not into Claymation Are you still in suspense about my certification? I am no womanizer looking for a tryst You can scratch an actor off your list I am no Polar Bear coming out of hibernation Soon I will reveal my certification I am not into sports, I am no Analyst My work is tax free, I don't have to deal with the I.R.S I have no fruit baskets on a sofa, I am not a Psychiatrist I will now tell you, I am a Pimpologist Now that you know, keep in mind how much dough I make No cheap wine, no pot pies, just champagne, shrimp and steak Constant growth, all women are welcome to become part of an industry leader Most of my women come from men who are wife beaters I hook my women up with my patented 201k plan I am the CEO, I am the man 5-2-9 can give you my specifications 5-2-9 helped me achieve my certification
Willy, don't be silly... As for Fred, check your head, Once again, you got things all wrong, I wasn't writting poetry, nor out to steal a song... I do get the feeling, Your disdain for me is strong, That's okay, I gotta say, No loss in disbelief, But don't question me, Cause you don't know If I were a lyrical thief, What if I did write those songs, And held the copyright too, And let others record them, You think other, I might do? So check out the copyright credits, And wake me when you're through, Cause as for your snide comments, I've heard enough from you.
chauvinistic piglet you and your niglets can try it for free, my butt cheeks, you can kiss it im not finish no thats not it ima let them know you aint about shhh 44 years of age and still dont have shhh get yo life together before i call you mr it lick between my cracks and swollow my shhh
My girl dumped me, she couldn't hack it She said it was her or my fake leather jacket We were together for 30 days This jacket has cozied up to six Shaneyneys Judy is my next target, so now I will have to chase her I am the Mac Daddy rollin' in my Pacer Camielle comes along and tempts my fate Judy is now off the slate Women need to use more self control I am too much, I am hard to hold Tomorrow there will be another one in line I will not mess with her if she looks like the bride of Frankenstein My dad is stressed, he's really working his pacemaker I take him to the hospital, he's riding shotgun in my Pacer The hospital will keep him over night I buy some Mad dog 20/20, it's time to get tight I am called the next day to pick him up I tell him no ride, if you don't have a lid for that cup I get pulled over for a sobriety test The cop tells me I don't look my best He makes me walk the long straight line Then count forwards and backwards between 1 and 9 He tells me my car is so ugly, he's got to shoot me with his tazer After the jolt I am allowed to leave steady rollin' in my Pacer
I am the authority on any question you may ask But be prepared, because I know I've already completed that task You ask me which pet is better, a dog or a cat Read my latest article about the care of all animals, called Been There, Done That Don't try to outcook me, I graduated at the top of my class in Culinary School Put your money on the table, I know I can beat you at pool When I drive, I demand complete silence, I don't want any distractions Computer programs, accounting, I've used every kind of database, done every kind of financial transaction Don't argue with me, because I will win Everyone tells me they wish I had a twin You want to know about raising children, ask me about mine I strongly reccomend you get your 4-1-1 from 5-2-9 You women need to break your men down There is no king of the castle in my house, I wear the crown I may be a little proud of what all I've done I know it is far more than anyone If you want to know about cars and their care I can tell you about dealerships I have fixed when and where You cannot tell me anything that hasn't already happened to me I keep a crystal ball to foresee During an African Safari, my sister went into labor, I delivered my niece I rode with Gypsies on the islands of Greece I had to tell Eugene, supposedly an experienced detailer, how to make the tires shine The secret is out, sorry Eugene, now they know you got your 4-1-1 from 5-2-9 I won an argument with an astronomer about the solar belt I was given extra chips at a casino because I pointed out to the manager how the cards were dealt I've given advice to a couple about horses and their unpredictable ways I told a fishing boat captain, how and when to enter Biscayne Bay Through it all, I find people and force them to listen to me Where is Gabrielle, oh, she's eating lunch and my nose is snotty People love me for all the great knowledge I possess But I have one rival, I must confess She is at 1-800-SO-Fine She cannot top me for you 4-1-1 from 5-2-9
it's still a mystery unsolved-thats me triplethreat-thats me no one cant compete knockin down doors you bowin down to my feet im not gon stop and i dare u hattas knock me cause when i fall you'll be still be lookin up to me
Sometime, Glory will come to me and say, «I am sure you have waited for me a long time! Meet me now, as though I am an important visitor.» Glory will sprawl and lounge in my armchair and will laugh self-satisfiedly. Well, if that will happen, I shall answer her quite politely: «Yes, I waited for you, of course. I want to be familiar with you, maybe even a favorite. But why are you so ill-bred and tactless? You have sprawled in my armchair as if you own it, and you mock me! Glory will close thin lips, will frown, and her eyebrows will close together. She will take back all gifts from me! Madam Glory, I did not want to be rough with you, but you are not free-of-charge! You required too big a fee of bitter pain and nerves in pressure. Sometime, Glory will come to me and say...
I worked hard to achieve my goal I moved to the south to avoid the snow I've been keeping track on my graph I look at my competition and start to laugh My closest competition lives five miles from here Now it's my turn to be ho of the year My pimp is always bragging to the pimps union He says he's never seen such a young ho whose career is already bloomin' Tomorrow is my day off, but I want the overtime Heck, as a ho I still haven't reached my prime I will now have ten vacation days to use when I want To get where I am, you have to flirt and flaunt The final results are still unclear I'm dying to know if I am the ho of the year My pimp tells me there is a new ho in town She wears one of those stupid little hooker purses, I let her know it's too late for her this time around My pimp says he will put her under my care I tell him she's my competition, and give him a glare He smacks me with an open hand across the face He tells me, that was to put you in your place He says don't ever forget I am in charge, I want that clear A crowd comes out, he hugs me and says congratulations you were chosen as ho of the year I am awarded a trophy, flowers and a golden crown I am given the night off a limo to take me to the luxury hotel downtown They have reserved me the presidential suite It will feel good to be off my feet I tell the driver I want to stop for some beer I will get drunk and celebrate a lifetime achievement as ho of the year