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This is supposed to be a stand alone story, but can be seen as an unauthorised sequel to one of Just Plain Bob's stories, "Forget Living Well". JPB writes good stories, and I read most of them, but sometimes he goes far overboard. To use an innocent child as a tool for revenge on a cheating wife is not acceptable. In the case of "Forget living well" he does that, and doing so serves a good story idea on a platter. I hope you forgive me JPB, but you asked for it.
Many thanks to angel love for her editing skills and good advice once again.
Sitting on a bench in the park, I was watching my little girl running around chasing soap bubbles. I had a bittersweet smile on my face. I loved the little charmer, at the same time I hated her. It was now two years since my divorce, and two and a half years after the birth of Jane. I had born the pregnancy with joy, fully believing the little growing bud inside me was the result of hefty lovemaking between my husband Frank and myself.
In the delivery room after several hours labor, pushing the child out, hearing the strong wail from the new-born, I was relieved - another healthy child I hoped. Before cutting the cord, the midwife laid the infant to my chest and told me with a genuine smile that I had delivered a fine girl. I looked lovingly at her, but got the shock of my life, as I saw a baby with black hair, darker skin than to be expected, and clearly Negroid features. I fainted. You see Frank and myself are white, and I had never had sex with a black guy, or at least that was what I believed.
I shook my thoughts away, and looked at her again. Would I ever be able to tell her who her father is? Probably not.
As the last few Saturday mornings I saw the nice and handsome looking black guy coming hand in hand with the little boy Jane liked to play with. He was around three years old I would guess, pulling his fathers hand toward the playground, eager to join Jane in her play. Well into the playground he let go of his father and ran over to my girl, and together they chased the soap bubbles she made from her dispenser.
Unlike what he usually did, sitting down on a bench on the other side of the playground, he instead walked toward me.
"As our children are playing so well together" he said, "maybe we could chat a bit?" He reached out his hand, and said; "I'm Jacob, Jack for short, do you mind if I sit down next to you?"
"Of course not, your welcome," I replied, "and I'm Mandy by the way."
We had a very nice Saturday morning, watching our children play, and talking about all and nothing.
The bench we sat on became our meeting place, as every Saturday morning while our children played, we talked about our every day life and the small trivialities and sometime the more serious problems. You see, over the next few weeks, Jack told me bit by bit how he lost his wife in a car accident and how he tried to cope being a single parent for a small boy. I also learned that he was a lawyer, and spent long hours in his office and therefore must have a live in nanny for George, his son. The weekends he always tried to spend quality time with him, he was obviously a good father.
I in turn did the listening, and told very little about my problems, so that's why one day he turned toward me and said, "Mandy, I have told you a lot about myself and my situation. You have volunteered very little about yourself. I have gathered you are divorced, and that you are not all that happy about your present situation. I see sometimes a sad smile on your face when you look at your girl. Will you tell me a little about your problems? I suspect they are connected with her and her father, am I right?"
"I'm sorry if you feel I am holding back on you. Yes you are right, and I think it might be a good idea to tell somebody before I go crazy. But not here and not now. I have to compose myself and I need to be in a place without the children. I might cry a bit," I replied.
"OK," Jack said, "this is what we can do. One evening next week you bring over your daughter to my house and George's nanny can baby sit both of them. I will take you to a nice restaurant for dinner. The place I'm thinking about has a moderate background noise, and partly screened booths so we can have privacy and you can cry without making a scene. If you accept you can tell as much or as little as you choose, and I will promise to listen to you with an open mind."
"Thank you , that's kind of you. You just decide when, I'm always free after work and I know it sounds pathetic, I should have pulled myself together and started socializing a long time ago, but I haven't. I never go out."
"Very good, I will call you Monday morning after I have seen my week's work schedule, and found a suitable day. If you find that you do not want to tell me much, then at least I have succeeded to get you out one evening," he replied with a smile.
He called as promised Monday, and we had agreed on Wednesday. So Wednesday after work, when I told Jane that we should visit George in his house, she was ecstatic. She couldn't wait to get out of the door.
Standing outside Jack's house with Jane I was a bit nervous. This was not a date in its normal sense, but it was such a long time since I had been out dining in the company of a man. I had dressed demurely, but with style. When I had looked at myself in the mirror before leaving, I saw a lady I hadn't seen for some time, and I had said to myself: "Mandy, you are not bad looking. You can get yourself a man if you want to." But the sad thing is, I'm not ready - yet. With a sigh, I pushed the doorbell.
Jack opened the door, and after a brief pause exclaimed, "Wow, you are classy tonight. You are a beautiful woman. I'm already looking forward to be seen with you." He turned toward Jane and continued, "And you my girl, you will have a good time with George, and Maria will take good care of you while your Mom and I go out for a while."
After the children had settled in, we were off.
Jack was good on his promise. The place he took me to was busy and the table he had reserved was very sheltered. All the talking gave a background buzz making it impossible to overhear private conversations.
The waiter brought us two chilled glasses of Chardonnay, and Jack said, "I have taken the liberty to order the food and wine when I had the table reserved. We will start with a light seafood salad to accompany this wine, followed by breast of pheasant with which we will have a light Italian red wine, I hope you approve?"
"I'm sure it will be wonderful," I replied, "It looks like a very classy place. As you might understand, just being out one evening is a treat."
The waiter brought the food, and we started eating. Jack was very considerate, he did not press me to start my tale. So after a while I said to him, "For almost two and a half years, I have never had the opportunity to talk of what happened to me. Those who should have been there for me have rejected me and my friends disappeared." I made a pause. Jack sat still and did not say anything, waiting for me to continue.
"Most people will probably say it's all my own fault, and even you may think I behaved badly and deserved what happened. But Jack, if you do please do not prevent Jane to be friends with George because of me, I could not live with that." I looked pleadingly at him.
"No of course not," he replied. "I cannot foresee anything you have done could be so bad that I would take it out on her. Please continue. I will not judge, just listen."
I looked at him and said, "I like you Jack, and I'm beginning to feel you are a very good and considerate friend. I hope we can still be friends after I am through with my tale. I will not go into great details, but just try to give you a rough idea of what happened."
"I was married to Frank, we had two children together, a boy and a girl. Life was nice and Frank was a good father and husband. But at one point I got the urge to expand my sexual experience and I got myself a lover outside my marriage. What he does not know about, does not hurt. That kind of stupid thinking. My lover, Levin, worked in the same company as myself, and I brought him home to our house in the lunch hour. I must admit sometimes so often as two or three times a week. My husband must have discovered what was going on, but instead of confronting me with the fact, he plotted a revenge. He set up a trap so that the divorce he obviously wanted, would go in his favour." I sipped on my wine, collected my thoughts and continued:
"As I told you we had two children. I wanted another one. Frank did not agree and opposed. So when I stopped taking my pills to get pregnant, he started to use condoms. We fought over this for several months. I continued my affair with Levin, but made him use condoms also. It was Frank's child I wanted, not Levin's. So surprisingly, one day Frank came to me and handed me the condoms and said he gave in, I could have my baby."
I stopped talking, remembered the happy moment when I thought he loved me and wanted to give me another child. I did not for one second think about the obvious double moral I played with. It was unforgivable, thinking retrospectively.
I continued, "The strange thing was, however, that months passed and I did not conceive. That was rather strange, since I had no problems getting pregnant with the first two. So when I voiced my concern. Frank said we had to put more passion into it, making it into an adventure for fun, rather than thinking about me conceiving. He suggested role play, and playing out fantasies. That's what we did. I dressed in slutty clothing and went to bars. He came in pretending to be a stranger, picking me up and we went home to fuck and similar scenarios. Only when he suggested to pretend being somebody else did we succeed. He blindfolded me and said he was bringing in a friend to help get me pregnant. He wanted me to pretend he was a stranger, and said he was Don.
I got pregnant and was very happy. We stopped the role play and we made love more or less every night until only one month before the birth of our child. It was a good time - for me at least. This happiness lasted until the birth of Jane. Then the roof fell in. The baby was obviously not Frank's. He must have known all about my cheating, about the child being colored, but how I didn't understand then.
He sued for divorce claiming adultery with Levin and an unknown colored man, presented reports about my infidelity with Levin, voice tapes with me screaming "fuck me Don, your better than my husband" and similar outbursts." I stopped, cried silently, tears running down my cheeks.
I sobbed and continued, "Nobody, not even my lawyer believed me when I told them about Frank setting me up. The evidence presented by Frank was so overwhelming, and that coupled with his statement that my story about the blindfolding was a lie, was enough for the judge to rule in his favor. I got very little out of the divorce, and lost the custody of my children. I only have visitation rights. He makes it difficult for me to see them, and I know they miss me, because I was a good mother. He cannot take that away from me."
Jack looked with sympathy at me, stretched out his hands and took mine in his, then said, "Something went wrong and Levin got you pregnant after all."
"No, Levin is not Jane's father. He is white as well. No, my husband must really have had somebody unknown to do me with him, when he blindfolded me during the role play. Remember he said. 'I have asked a friend to help'. I thought this was just a part of the role play, and thought I was fucking him the whole time. And also understand Frank did not say in the court that I had accepted the help of his friend. He denied the whole time the blindfolding and role play. The mystery at the time was why did Frank not make me pregnant. But he told me that later, after the divorce. You see, when I go to his house to visit my other two children, he always makes comments to hurt me. And he laughs at me. He say things like, "how's your bastard doing" and similar comments. On one of these occasions he told me he had a vasectomy, which I didn't know anything about. He really set me up."
I smiled a weak smile at Jack, dried my eyes and said, "You must think I am a bad woman, and that I deserved the punishment Frank bestowed upon me.
"No, I don't," he replied. "I don't condone your cheating. You wronged him for sure. But his revenge or punishment was too extreme. He not only punished you, but he involved an innocent child and a family that had no part in it and others. What he did was uncalled for and I understand your sorrow and frustration."
"Thank you for your support," I said, "The worst part of it is, I will not be able to tell my girl who her father is, and why."
We completed our meal in almost silence. When Jack had paid and we left, I thanked him for listening to me and told him it was good for me to open up to somebody.
Next Saturday morning, a smiling Jack came with George as usual. We talked about our dinner while the children played, and he suggested we should meet one evening during the week. So for the next few months we went to dinners, concerts, movies, or just walks with a light snack thrown in. I grew fond of Jack and I valued him as a dear friend and a supportive significant other.
So one Saturday morning, sitting on our bench planning next week's activity, I said, "We have been out together each week for quite some time now, Jack. I enjoy your company. But you have more than me picked up the tab. I want very much to change that a bit. Could I cook you a meal in my flat next week?" I looked questioning at him.
"Of course you can. I'm already looking forward to be your guest," he replied.
It was so fun cooking for somebody again. It had been only me and my little girl at the table for so long that it felt like a lifetime. Of course, I am not a Gordon Blue cook, but not bad either. I prepared a nice meal and had bought a bottle of good red wine. While waiting anxiously for Jack to arrive, I put Jane to bed, and I dressed to kill.
I slipped on a short red skirt and a white silk blouse with the top two buttons undone. I did not put on a bra. I made all possible efforts to look sexy. When Jack arrived and I saw his expression, I knew I had succeeded.
During our meal, we chatted about our everyday life. While serving him I made sure he could look down my cleavage, sitting down I showed lots of leg, and to be quite honest I tried shamelessly to seduce him.
After the meal, sitting down with a cup of coffee next to him, I looked at him and said, "I have been alone for nearly four years now, and have not had any close contact with a man in that time." I paused, looked down and stammered, "It's difficult for me to say what I want to ask you, but please, can you stay? Do you need to go home tonight? I . . . I will not ask for any obligations, but can you stay?" I looked hopefully at him.
Jack didn't say anything, just folded his arms around me and hugged me. After a while he whispered in my ear: "Yes I can, but I have to call Maria first and say she cannot expect me home before tomorrow morning." He went to make his call.
My heart thumped in my chest. I was nervous as a teenager and paced up and down the room waiting. When he came back, I went straight for his embrace and we kissed hungrily. It was the longest and most intense kiss in my life and when we had to break off to get air, I pulled him toward the bedroom.
We undressed each other. I fought with his tie, his buttons and cufflinks. Finally I had his upper body naked,. My white hands stroked his dark brown chest, my fingers tickled his nipples. They were hard as marbles. He took my blouse off and his dark hands fondled my white breasts. He unhooked my skirt, and I pushed it down myself and stepped out of it. I unbuckled his belt and pulled down his trousers and briefs in one movement. His cock pointed upward, hard and with a glistening head. He pulled me up, lifted me and lowered me gently down on my bed.
"Be gentle, it's been such a long time ago," I whispered, and he replied by being just that, - gentle. His fingers played over my skin, trailing down the sides, fondling the breasts, his lips touched mine and his tongue entered my mouth. We kissed tenderly, and he let his lips travel down my cheek, then to the breasts where he let his tongue play with the nipples, then down the stomach to my pussy. I opened my legs to completely give myself to him. When his tongue went in between my nether lips I gushed as the first orgasm hit me. I pressed myself against his face and screamed, " OH MY GOD!!!! - - - IT'S SO GOOD!!!"
I pulled him upward and kissed him deeply, took hold of his cock and guided it toward my pussy. "I can't," he whispered, "I don't have any condoms."
"Yes you can," I replied. "I have wanted you for some time now, and I have started to take pills, please fuck me, I need it so badly," I begged.
I hadn't completed my plea before he pushed into me with a soft moan. He fucked me slowly and tenderly. I folded my legs over his back and pushed so his cock went all the way in, and held it there. My vaginal muscles massaged his cock lovingly. I hadn't forgotten how. It had been a long time without loving sex for both of us, so neither lasted long before we erupted in a shattering orgasm together.
Lying in each other arms, I whispered in his ears, "Can you forgive me? I wanted you so much and you never took any initiative. I won't ask for any commitment, but I would be happy if we could do this again."
"I would love to do this again. I treasure you, but I don't know for sure if I'm ready for a new relationship yet," he replied. "I value your friendship so highly I simply didn't take the risk, I was so afraid I would push you away. I don't dare to take the - L - word over my lips, but I have strong feelings for you. Yes Mandy, I want to make love to you again. The only promise I can make at this point is to be honest with you, not use you for my own good, and be your friend and lover if you want it."
That's what happened, we became lovers and enjoyed the company of each other at least one night every week, and life was starting to look good. The only outstanding question seemed to be, - who was Jane's father?
"Are you still anxious to know who is the father of your girl?" Jack asked one day.
"Yes, I am. Not only for myself, but to be able to give her a sensible answer when she asks one day, as she surely will," I replied.
"I know you will not let me pay for a private investigator to look into it. The outcome is uncertain and the cost can be high, so with your most probably limited funds, it would be a risky road to walk down." He paused and looked at me, and continued, "But I think I have a solution. Our law firm employs a small but good PI company from time to time. The owner came to me today and asked if I had anything for him. He had not much to do at the moment and had free time. I told him no, but thought about you and your problem. I mentioned I had a friend who might be interested in having his help. I told him briefly what it was about and asked him if he would in between jobs work on a 'no cure no pay' basis trying to find your girl's father. If he succeeded and found the father, you would be able to pay because the father would have to pay child support to you back dated to the birth of Jane. If he did not succeed, you do not pay anything. He said he would consider this. I suggest you get in touch with him Mandy and refer to my conversation with him."
"Do you think this is possible?" I asked. "I have some money saved, and even if the father could not pay anything, he might be dead, a bum or some other person without means. I can handle a not too high fixed amount. Yes I would like to try this, thank you."


text:
The Sage School, which is located in Suwanee, is looking to raise enrollments.
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The Sage School, which is located in Suwanee, is looking to raise enrollments.
"...In addition to dyslexia remediation and speech therapy, Sage teaches a full curriculum of math, science, language arts and history, as well as specials such as art, physical education and drama. As a non-denominational Christian school, Sage students have daily Bible classes, too.
"Our students will be able to work their language issues in a spacious, comfortable school with comprehensive curriculum and in a gentle Christ-centered environment," said Patton.
The only difference between Sage and mainstream schools is that Sage students get daily tutoring, and the staff is trained in working with children who learn differently, according to Patton.
Sage has been a God-send for fourth grader Eva Harrington and her worried parents. "Eva came to Sage with no self-confidence at all," said Eva's mother, Melissa. "She did not believe she could do anything right. She now has the confidence to sit and do her homework unassisted. She can also do her reading with no tears."
"Holy cow! School is so much better," said Eva. "It's going really, really good."
Patton said Eva's experience is typical. Often in public schools, children with dyslexia cannot keep up with the classroom pace due to their learning differences. Otherwise, bright and talented children lose self-confidence and start feeling "dumb."
It's no wonder Sage is growing. Ten to 15 percent of the population has dyslexia, according to the International Dyslexia Association (IDA). Dyslexia is a neurologic learning disability characterized by difficulties in learning to read and spell. While dyslexics can have a constellation of language problems, most have difficulty decoding words, spelling, reading comprehension and expressing themselves.
The good news is that dyslexia can be treated. Treatment for dyslexia is an education-based approach driving an explicit phonics instruction using multi-sensory techniques. According to the IDA, the Orton-Gillingham (O-G) approach is the best program and is used at the Sage School. The O-G approach was developed starting in the 1920s by educator Anna Gillingham and neurologist Samuel Orton. Orton's research proved that dyslexia was neurologically-based, while Gillingham developed the approach for remediation based on Orton's findings...."
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The sinking feeling was just under the surface as I sat in class during my second day of a two-week fellowship at Columbia University, Teacher's College.
Lou Salza's insight:
No matter how far you travel, how old you get, or how completely you try to forget, our first experiences as struggling readers in school are deeply etched on our hearts and minds. And just so we are clear: dyslexia is neither a gift nor a curse though we can feel both cursed and gifted: The curse is the narrow way we evaluate and judge all children in school. The gift is the people we meet later in our lives, when we are free from the confines of traditional academics and school, who understand and share our journey.--Lou
Simply put, executive functions are self-regulating skills. We all use them every day to do things like plan ahead, stay organized, solve problems and focus on what's important. These are some of the same things kids with ADHD have trouble doing. So is there a difference between executive functioning issues and ADHD? And if so, what is it?
Lou Salza's insight:
Concise, accurate and useful! I love Understood.org!--Lou
Personalized learning isn't the latest fad in education. In fact, it's an approach that great teachers have long used to ward off drudgery, to challenge students to do their best and to infuse their classrooms with energy and a sense of possibility. Thousands of years after Socrates engaged and challenged his student Plato with dialogues that inspired him to write The Republic, Charles Babbage encouraged Ada Lovelace to use her mathematical talents to create what is now considered the first computer program.
Lou Salza's insight:
Isn't it time to re-design the school environment Excerpt: "...What's different today is the pace at which the momentum for personalized learning is building, thanks to a combination of cutting-edge technology, a growing body of research and a wider appreciation for the power of this approach to teaching and learning. Taken together, these catalysts have helped grow personalized learning from a sporadic practice to an insurgent philosophy. The next challenge is to use what we already know: that tutoring and learning for mastery can make a dramatic difference for individual students, to help discover how to deliver that kind of rich, personalized learning experience to millions of students..."
Celebrities are working to help transform learning for kids in U.S. public schools. Vanessa Kirsch, founder and CEO of venture philanthropy fund "New Profit," explains the focus of the fund.
Lou Salza's insight:
I liked this spot very much. Vanessa Kirsch moves the conversation and the dialogue about education away from the 19th and 20th Century quagmires into a re-consideration of school design. It should not escape us that the inspiration for this conversation is centered in the experience of our students who come to school with dyslexia and ADHD.--Lou
"... the Lawrence School in Cleveland, Ohio, impressed me with its academic rigor and its mainstream social environment — a place where students who learn differently could prepare to flourish in a world where such differences are seldom accommodated."
Lou Salza's insight:
Proud to be mentioned in a blog acknowledging the challenges faced by so many students with learning differences in all kinds of schools. Many thanks to all those who work on their behalf at home and at school!--Lou
Instead, the smartest teams were distinguished by three characteristics.
Lou Salza's insight:
Take turns, play nice! , pay attention to team members, employ more women!--Why does this not surprise?--Lou
President Obama hopes to make two years of free community college accessible for up to nine million Americans. I'm guessing the new Congress will squawk at the $60 billion price tag, but I hope the idea sticks, because more veterans, from Iraq and Afghanistan this time, as well as another generation of mothers, single parents and workers who have been out of the job market, need lower obstacles between now and the next chapter of their lives. High school graduates without the finances for a higher education can postpone taking on big loans and maybe luck into the class that will redefine their life's work. Many lives will be changed.
Lou Salza's insight:
Remarkable story made even more remarkable because Tom Hanks looks back to his community college days as the change that made a difference for him....--Lou Excerpt: "...IN 1974, I graduated from Skyline High School in Oakland, Calif., an underachieving student with lousy SAT scores. Allowed to send my results to three colleges, I chose M.I.T. and Villanova, knowing such fine schools would never accept a student like me but hoping they'd toss some car stickers my way for taking a shot. I couldn't afford tuition for college anyway. I sent my final set of stats toChabot, a community college in nearby Hayward, Calif., which, because it accepted everyone and was free, would be my alma mater. For thousands of commuting students, Chabot was our Columbia, Annapolis, even our Sorbonne, offering courses in physics, stenography, auto mechanics, certified public accounting, foreign languages, journalism — name the art or science, the subject or trade, and it was probably in the catalog. The college had a nursing program that churned out graduates, sports teams that funneled athletes to big-time programs, and parking for a few thousand cars — all free but for the effort and the cost of used textbooks. Classmates included veterans back from Vietnam, women of every marital and maternal status returning to school, middle-aged men wanting to improve their employment prospects and paychecks..."
The right app can improve your child's learning, help her manage specific challenges—and provide hours of fun! Here are 10 new or recently updated options as of December, 2014. For more ideas, check out Tech Finder.
Lou Salza's insight:
Peter Drucker once noted that leadership is all about strengths: "The task of leadership," he wrote,"is to create an alignment of strengths in ways that make a system's weaknesses irrelevant". I suggest this is our task in schools: teaching and learning in ways that make a childs challenges as unimportant as possible. THese tools do exactly that!--Lou
But here is the thing. Many schools in the UK are now rigorously teaching children to read by phonically decoding unknown words, here generally referred to as SSP, Systematic Synthetic Phonics', elsewhere sometimes called the Alphabetic Principle. These schools are achieving results where almost all children can decode effectively by age 6, as demonstrated by the statutory phonics screening check. The children then go on to read confidently and fluently by the time they are 7. That is to say, there are no children at all emerging as dyslexic from some of these classes. From many of the others only somewhere between 1% and 3% of children look like they might have some ongoing difficulty with reading, nowhere close to the 10%+ incidence of dyslexia found more generally. Sadly these schools remain a minority; most UK schools are instead committed to teaching a mixed approach to reading, encouraging the guessing of unknown words, purportedly so that children learn to make sense of a text. (I have explained elsewhere on this blog why this is so counter-productive.) However there are more than enough committed SSP schools to demonstrate clearly that their outcomes are no fluke and that they can be achieved in areas of social deprivation just as well as those in more affluent locations.
Lou Salza's insight:
Fascinating British blogger's account of the very same situation we suffer from here in the USA: What Barbara Bateman called 'dysteachia' many years ago! The fault is not in the children, their homes or their stars--the fault is in the curriculum! Simply substitute "illiterate" and "illiteracy" for "dyslexic" and Dyslexia" when you read School Inspector Askew's Blog. --Lou My favorite passage: ".....But why do the schools so persistently look to the child rather than to their own teaching when that child fails to make expected progress in reading? The most obvious explanation is that it deflects blame from themselves, and we have to admit that this desire is all too common a trait in many of us. Yet, as I have said often on this blog, teachers are overwhelmingly decent and concerned people. There must be more to it than this. I am convinced that the answer lies in the deep-seated culture of so called 'progressivism' that pervades our school system (although it is in fact not progressive at all, but has for a good while now been the orthodoxy). In terms of the teaching of reading this involves the belief - and I use the word deliberately - that children will become 'real readers' only if they learn to read by mixed, multi-cueing methods, and by guessing at words to try to reach meaning. This way of thinking has become so embedded that it has taken on many of the features of a religion. It has its fanatics, who continually repeat its mantras, whatever alternative arguments or evidence are presented. Even for the majority this 'credo' has become mutually reinforcing and perpetuating. Teachers are very threatened, deeply offended even, when it is gainsaid. It follows, of course, that when a child fails to learn to read by the methods currently being used, it must necessarily be the child's fault. To admit the teaching is wrong would be to admit that their own deeply held beliefs are wrong, and that is one of the most difficult things in life to do. Despite years of trying to challenge these beliefs with reason and evidence, I feel, sadly, that I, and others of like mind, have not got very far, or at least not nearly far enough. It is enormously frustrating and my heart bleeds for the children of our countries when I see how many 'dyslexics' we have when we need have hardly any..."
Parenting Coach tool from Understood: Parenting tips and advice for child behavioral disorders and other behavior issues in children. See other help tools.
Lou Salza's insight:
This site is so well done! Thank you to
When I was in sixth grade, master girl-grower Ann Klotz made a brave voyage from New York City to Shaker Heights, Ohio so she could run our school. I met her simultaneously as my new classmate Miranda's mom and as my school's new Headmistress. Ms. Klotz is a spark who has lit Laurel ablaze with energy and ingenuity. We were "her girls" and she set out to inspire us, to know us deeply, to love us. She taught us we were there to "Dream, Dare, Do."
Lou Salza's insight:
Emma Miller got this right! Insightful commentary from one who knows! Dell and I are proud grandparents of a Laurel 1st grader! Thank you to the Faculty and Staff--and to Ann Klotz, "master girl grower" and mentor to school leaders far and near. --Lou
Football has a concussion problem, from the National Football League down to Pee-Wee teams. And there are lots of efforts out there to fix it.
Lou Salza's insight:
I was alerted to this article while reading on the NAIS.org web site where Debra Wilson has initiated a discussion around wellness.--Lou
According to the Center for American Progress, women still only make up 14.6 percent of executive officers, 8.1 percent of top earners and a mere 4.6 percent of Fortune 500 CEOs. In Massachusetts, The Boston Club released a report showing that nearly 14 percent of the 100 largest public companies have women as directors, which is below the national average of 17 percent.
Lou Salza's insight:
My favorite passage: ".... To create female leaders, we need to raise them as leaders. We need to integrate courses into our curricula that go beyond basic English, math and science classes, such as ones geared towards the principles of engineering, or classes that explore the central role of science and technology in shaping human life, civilization and thought. We need to incorporate into our program business-oriented courses that teach our students at a young age how to succeed in the work force. Otherwise women are disadvantaged when they leave school and enter the employment market. We need to continue to foster all-girls programs that provide an atmosphere where girls excel as leaders without a male presence, because research shows that girls are more engaged, and exude more confidence and competitiveness in single-sex environments..." |
Lou Salza's insight:
Our Cousin Louie has been studying the martial Arts since he was a boy. From 1975-1979 Louie taught karate to residential students at the Landmark School In Pride's Crossing. With the right instructor and at the right school, the study of Kata, and Tai'Chi can help our kids develop physical and mental stamina, and build confidence.
It's one thing to read about how a learning or attention issue can affect your child. It's another thing to see it through your child's eyes. Experience firsthand how frustrating it can be when your hand won't write what your brain is telling it to write. Find out why it can be so hard to complete a simple task even when you're trying to pay attention. Use these one-of-a-kind simulations and videos to get a better sense of what it feels like to have learning and attention issues.
Lou Salza's insight:
I applaud Understood.org for this sequence of videos and simulations. They well worth our time. The student explanations are of course spot on. While the simulations are --well--simulations, they convey the feeling if not the substance of the challenges and struggles.--Lou
Paul Offit likes to tell a story about how his wife, pediatrician Bonnie Offit, was about to give a child a vaccination when the kid was struck by a seizure. Had she given the injection a minute sooner, Paul Offit says, it would surely have appeared as though the vaccine had caused the seizure and probably no study in the world would have convinced the parent otherwise. (The Offits have such studies at the ready — Paul is the director of the Vaccine Education Center at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and author of "Deadly Choices: How the Anti-Vaccine Movement Threatens Us All.") Indeed, famous anti-vaxxer Jenny McCarthy has said her son's autism and seizures are linked to "so many shots" because vaccinations preceded his symptoms.
Lou Salza's insight:
Thank You to our good friend and colleague Steven Dykstra from email@example.com for this provocative article. The subject of this study is how quickly "Illusions of causality" form in medicine especially around the vaccination debate going on in the US right now. These illusions establish a strong grip on our minds that will not yield to sound data, evidence or information that exposes the fallacy. I read this because Steven Dykstra used it as an example of why it is so hard to get evidence based reading education practices firmly established in our schools. I have written before about my own work in schools with teachers --that there is integrity in resistance to change. This article provides data about where that integrity resides. --Lou The last paragraph is a call to action: Excerpt: "...the lesson of controversial political, health and science issues is that people don't apply their critical-thinking skills in the same way when they have a preference for who's right." Studies by law professor Dan Kahan at Yale show that even highly numerate people are prone to cognitive trapswhen the data contradicts the conclusion most congenial to their political values. So where does this leave us? With a lot of evidence that erroneous beliefs aren't easily overturned, and when they're tinged with emotion, forget about it. Explaining the science and helping people understand it are only the first steps. If you want someone to accept information that contradicts what they already know, you have to find a story they can buy into. That requires bridging the narrative they've already constructed to a new one that is both true and allows them to remain the kind of person they believe themselves to be."
The Laurel School's experienced faculty and staff have been instructing students with dyslexia in Mercer County and nearby areas of New Jersey and Pennsylvania for over 35 years, and are now offering an entire school program designed specifically for the dyslexic mind.
Lou Salza's insight:
Excerpt: "Dr. Sherman was Director of the Dyslexia Research Lab at the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston and faculty member in Neuroscience at Harvard Medical School before becoming the Executive Director at The Newgrange School in Hamilton, NJ in 2002 and the Laurel School in 2012. Dr. Sherman's Ph.D. is in Developmental Psychobiology; his research focused on development of the brain and the understanding of developmental dyslexia. He is the author and editor of over 80 scientific articles, reviews, and books, and he was the President of the International Dyslexia Association (and since 2010 is back on the IDA board). "We are thrilled to be offering this comprehensive educational experience for students with dyslexia right here in Princeton, New Jersey," he adds.
Linguistics is a science, and orthography should be taught that way. Our students should be taught to seek evidence for particular spellings and pronunciations. Let's investigate the word two. The first thing a student should do is come up with a scientific hypothesis about why this word contains the letter w and then go in search of the evidence. Sooner or later, they come up with this evidence: the w is there to mark the relationship of the word two with twice, twin, between, twenty, twilight, and so many more. Here is a graphic of the investigative process:
Lou Salza's insight:
our system of writing and spelling in English preserves the meanings of words despite changes and migrations of our pronunciation. Encouraging our dyslexic student to become "linguistic Detectives does two things: 1. it engages students' intellect and curiosity; 2. reveals patterns in so called 'sight' words.--Lou
Our story starts in Virginia where Tommy was born but quickly moves to Georgia and South Carolina where he was raised with his two older sisters and younger brother. His father was a Presbyterian minister who also occasionally taught at university, and his loving mother was herself the daughter of a Presbyterian minister. Tommy's father was demanding, and scholarship and piety defined his household. Unfortunately for Tommy, he was a poor student who did not learn the alphabet until age 9 and wasn't able to read until almost age 12. These struggles led his teachers to think of him as slow and his parents to describe him as a "dolt" and "lost cause." Tommy enjoyed learning though and from a young age, aspired to greatness. His parents offered him academic support and his father, being the prominent pastor that he was, would instruct Tommy for hours, each night, in the art of oratory and debate.
Lou Salza's insight:
Ryan Masa, K-8 Principal of the Assets School in Honolulu, weaves together a cautionary tale for all educators: First he takes the dangerous conclusions parents and teachers often draw regarding children who struggle to learn to read in school. Next he weaves gives us a lesson in US History relevant to the State of the Union address this week. Finally he brings us to Assets School where 2e students have been well cared for and brilliantly educated for 3 decades. This is a must read!--Lou
Four kinds of behavior account for 89 percent of leadership effectiveness. January 2015 | byClaudio Feser, Fernanda Mayol, and Ramesh Srinivasan
Lou Salza's insight:
The crux of the research: "Four kinds of behavior account for 89 percent of leadership effectiveness: 1. Solving problems effectively. The process that precedes decision making is problem solving, when information is gathered, analyzed, and considered. This is deceptively difficult to get right, yet it is a key input into decision making for major issues (such as M&A) as well as daily ones (such as how to handle a team dispute). 2. Operating with a strong results orientation. Leadership is about not only developing and communicating a vision and setting objectives but also following through to achieve results. Leaders with a strong results orientation tend to emphasize the importance of efficiency and productivity and to prioritize the highest-value work. 3. Seeking different perspectives. This trait is conspicuous in managers who monitor trends affecting organizations, grasp changes in the environment, encourage employees to contribute ideas that could improve performance, accurately differentiate between important and unimportant issues, and give the appropriate weight to stakeholder concerns. Leaders who do well on this dimension typically base their decisions on sound analysis and avoid the many biases to which decisions are prone. 4. Supporting others. Leaders who are supportive understand and sense how other people feel. By showing authenticity and a sincere interest in those around them, they build trust and inspire and help colleagues to overcome challenges. They intervene in group work to promote organizational efficiency, allaying unwarranted fears about external threats and preventing the energy of employees from dissipating into internal conflict. We're not saying that the centuries-old debate about what distinguishes great leaders is over or that context is unimportant. Experience shows that different business situations often require different styles of leadership. We do believe, however, that our research points to a kind of core leadership behavior that will be relevant to most companies today, notably on the front line. For organizations investing in the development of their future leaders, prioritizing these four areas is a good place to start...."
The future of learning in society is virtually unlimited, at least for the foreseeable future. Learning is the conversion of information into knowledge; information, in the digital age has become a vast sea of ones and zeros; information becomes knowledge by passing through some medium that transforms the ones and zeros into a conceptually organized form.
Lou Salza's insight:
Elmore hits this out of the park! He calmly and completely eviscerates the rigidity of school building design, the one size fits all practice of instruction and assessment in our schools, and anachronistic teacher preparation programs in our colleges.--Lou My favorite passages: "...Schools, as we currently know them, will continue to exist, if only because the byzantine collection of political interests that underlie them will keep them afloat regardless of their contribution to learning. The Postal Service continues to exist, as the function of moving information fluidly and efficiently in society has migrated out into other organizational forms. To engage the next generation of young leaders in the important task of building society's capacity to learn in the service of innovation and creativity, we will need to provide them with a broader array of opportunities to lead in settings where they can exercise meaningful judgment and control, without having to wait in line for a career path that may take decades to acknowledge their energy and creativity.... ....The definition of learning for society at large as been given over to political professionals, who are educational amateurs of the worst kind. The broader society, thankfully, is smarter than the institutionalized schooling sector. Learning, as an individual and social activity, has never been so alive as the present, and it will continue to grow in scope and breadth indefinitely. The experiences I had as a learner in the world, challenged by serious intellectuals and by involvement in life-altering, personally wrenching experiences, are now available to a much broader swath of society...."
A growing number of American students, shattered by the grueling marathon of high school and the coldblooded "college process," are opting to take a year to regroup before tackling higher education — a practice long common in Britain and Australia. Attendance at "gap fairs" more than doubled in the United States between 2010 and 2013, and enrollment in gap-year programs grew 27 percent from 2012 to 2013 alone, according to Ethan Knight, executive director of the American Gap Association. Many college websites, including Harvard's and Yale's, now encourage prospective freshman to consider a gap year; Middlebury even provides links to specific programs.
Lou Salza's insight:
My favorite Passage: ".....Taking a gap year turned out to be one of the smartest decisions my daughter has ever made. She had a spectacular experience in Salzburg, bonding with her host family, perfecting her German, traveling through Europe with assorted new friends, and otherwise developing the confidence and skills necessary to navigate unfamiliar terrain. In the wish-I-didn't-know department: She couch-surfed, accepted autobahn rides from strangers and once had to decide whether to spend her last three euros on food or bus fare home. By the time she started college this fall, she couldn't have been better prepared — or more excited...."
Check out Eye To Eye's billboards up NOW in Times Square!
Lou Salza's insight:
Eye to Eye! Shoulder to Shoulder! Heart to Heart! David Flink at Eye To Eye gets it done!! A great friend to our students and to our families!---Lou
Even the best-intended comments can make a child with dyslexia feel discouraged or inadequate. We talked to dyslexia advocate Ben Foss, author of The Dyslexia Empowerment Plan. He shared tips about what words can hurt—and what to say instead.
Lou Salza's insight:
Pithy advice! --Lou
our analyses show that most parental behavior has no benefit on academic performance. While there are some forms of parental involvement that do appear to have a positive impact on children academically, we find at least as many instances in which more frequent involvement is related to lower academic performance.
Lou Salza's insight:
My favorite passage: "Conventional wisdom holds that since there is no harm in having an involved parent, why shouldn't we suggest as many ways as possible for parents to participate in school? This conventional wisdom is flawed. Schools should move away from giving the blanket message to parents that they need to be more involved and begin to focus instead on helping parents find specific, creative ways to communicate the value of schooling, tailored to a child's age. Future research should investigate how parental involvement can be made more effective, but until then, parents who have been less involved or who feel uncertain about how they should be involved should not be stigmatized. What should parents do? They should set the stage and then leave it." |

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Mechanism of formation of chloropropanols present in protein hydrolysates
- P. D. Collier,
- D. D. O. Cromie,
- A. P. Davies
- … show all 3 hide
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Chloropropanols are formed in protein hydrolysates by the reaction of hydrochloric acid with residual lipids associated with the proteinaceous materials used in their production. The products formed from glycerol, triolein, 1,2-diacyl-sn-glycero-3-phosphorylcholine and soya meal have been analyzed by thin-layer and gas chromatography. The yields and isomer ratios of the chloropropandiols and dichloropropanols formed are interpreted in terms of reaction mechanisms for their formation, which involve preferential nucleophilic substitution by the chloride anion at positions activated by neighboring ester groups. These provide anchimeric assistance and govern regioselectivity through steric and electronic effects.
- Velisek, J., J. Davidek, J. Hajslova, V. Kubelka, G. Janicek and B. Mankova,Z. Lebensm. Unters. Forsch. 167:241 (1978). CrossRef
- Velisek, J., J. Davidek, V. Kubelka, J. Bartosova, A. Tuckova, J. Hajslova and G. Janicek,Lebensm. Wis. und Technol. 12:234 (1979).
- Davidek, J., J. Velisek, V. Kubelka, G. Janicek and Z. Simicova,Z. Lebensm. Unters. Forsch. 69:14 (1980). CrossRef
- Velisek, J., J. Davidek, V. Kubelka, G. Janicek, Z. Svobodova and Z. Simicova,J. Agric. Food Chem. 28:1142 (1980). CrossRef
- Velisek, J., J. Davidek, Z. Svobodova and Z. Simicova,Sb. Vys. Sk. Chem., Technol. Praze, Potraviny E53:55 (1982).
- Velisek, J., and J. Davidek,Sb. UVTIZ, Potravin, Vedy 3(1):11 (1985).
- Collier, P.D., and D. Cromie,J. Chromatography, in press.
- Title
- Mechanism of formation of chloropropanols present in protein hydrolysates
- Journal
Journal of the American Oil Chemists Society
Volume 68, Issue 10 , pp 785-790
- Cover Date
- 1991-10-01
- Print ISSN
- Online ISSN
- 1558-9331
- Publisher
- Springer-Verlag
- Additional Links
- Topics
- Keywords
- Chloropropanols
- glycerides
- glycerol
- hydrochloric acid
- nucleophilic substitution
- phospholipids
- protein hydrolysates.
- Industry Sectors
- Authors
- P. D. Collier (1)
- D. D. O. Cromie (1)
- A. P. Davies (1)
- Author Affiliations
- 1. Unilever Research Laboratory, Colworth House, MK44 1LQ, Sharnbrook, Bedford, UK


text:
Cowden-Arnold in processUpdated July 19, 2005 |
I've just begun tracing my Cowden and Arnold lines, branching out from Hamilton and Rhea Counties in Tennessee. I can see I have a lot of work before me. At this point, I'll be including the surnames Cowden, Arnold, Harris, Culver, DeVore, and whatever else shows up along the way. If you have any information that would help, feel free to contact me via e-mail. The family tree I've uploaded is tentative right now. Some of the names may not be exactly right, but they're close. Corrections will be made as I gather more information. Please be patient with me. |
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Map View
View Top Vineyards in Maryland in a larger map
Knob Hall, Clear Spring
Located in the gorgeous Antietam Highlands, Knob Hall earns an easy spot on this list of the top vineyards in Maryland. The vineyard boasts 30 acres of pristine vines, including those of the cabernet franc, cabernet sauvignon, petit verdot, chardonnay, malbec, merlot and viognier grapes. During your visit, you can enjoy a picnic, live music and tastings. You can also get in on the action by trying your hand at grape stomping, pruning and picking. The winery offers massage services on site, as well as various festivals throughout the year - an annual favorite is Winestock, at which participants can help raise money for breast cancer research. Other past events have included Parrothead Festival, Women Who Wine and Reggae Festival.
Bordeleau Vineyards & Winery, Salisbury
Bordeleau Winery is situated directly south of Salisbury (north of Deal Island), and sits on the edge of Wicomico Creek - hence the winery's name, which translates to "the water's edge". Bordeleau is a gorgeous, sprawling estate in the center of some seriously thrilling wildlife: You shouldn't be surprised to see herons, egrets and eagles circling the skies while you're here. Cabernet franc, meritage (a blend of varietals commonly found in the Bordeaux region of France), chambourcin, merlot and cabernet sauvignon comprise the red section of this winery's repertoire, while chardonnay, pinot grigio and sauvignon blanc are available for white wine fans.
Port of Leonardtown Winery, Leonardtown
Port of Leonardtown, near Solomons Island, is unique winery. In 2008, the Southern Maryland Wine Growers Cooperative partnered with the local and county governments to conduct a feasibility study for winemaking in the region. When the test results proved promising, the cooperative signed on with the town and agreed to begin producing fabulous Maryland wine. Tours and tastings are available throughout the year, and wine varietals include chardonnay, chambourcin, merlot and cabernet franc. The winery also produces a McIntosh blend and a lovely rosé.
Cassinelli Winery & Vineyards, Church Hill
Cassinelli boasts 110 sprawling acres of gorgeous rolling hills dotted with vines and trees. The winery and vineyard is conveniently located off Route 231 and is popular with wine lovers traveling through nearby Chestertown. Wine varietals cultivated here include viognier, merlot and chardonnay, but apples, pears, plums and peaches also add to the delicious tastes of Cassinelli. Even better, this multi-functional vineyard is also home to livestock like cows and buffalo - we bet the kids will find these creatures the most fascinating species at Cassinelli! Tastings and tours are always available, and numerous events mark the progression of the year at this delightful destination.
Black Ankle Vineyards, Mt. Airy
It's impossible to leave Black Ankle off a list of top Maryland vineyards - beacause it has it all. From live music (Fireside Fridays is hosted every Friday from 6-9 p.m.) to numerous accolades (Black Ankle was recently named one of America's Hottest Small Brands by Wine Business Monthly), this vineyard (just outside Baltimore) has been on everyone's lips as of late. Tours are offered every Saturday and Sunday at 1 p.m., and you're welcome to bring some snacks with you (no worries if you forget - you can purchase artisan cheeses and other finger foods on site). The owners of Black Ankle support the production and consumption of local wines for environmental reasons, too, which offers a unique perspective on Maryland wine tasting. Wines cultivated here include syrah, numerous unique blends, chardonnay, viognier and rosé.
Sugarloaf Mountain Vineyard, Dickerson
Nestled between Montgomery and Frederick counties, Sugarloaf prides itself on producing Bordeaux-style wines in the heart of the Old Line State. The vineyard hosts a variety of events throughout the year, from bluegrass festivals to holiday celebrations and wine competitions. Sugarloaf's wines have won numerous awards including the Maryland Winemasters' Choice Awards' Best in Show (for the 2011 Comus and Comus Reserve). The vineyard produces viognier, pinot grigio, merlot, chardonnay, cabernet franc, cabernet sauvignon and rosé along with various blends and house wines - all of the vino is aged in oak barrels, with the exception of the pinot grigio (aged in stainless steel tanks to avoid the added heaviness that oak can bring to light white wines).


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Self-Improvement: You're Doing It Wrong
Devra Torres | 3 days ago
Here we are at the end of February. So…how are your New Year's resolutions coming along?
Your memory of that seven-week-old fit of willpower might be hazy, or you might recall your sanguine hopes just fine but you prefer not to. But if you're Catholic, the question need not depress you, right? Because just as New Year's fervor starts to fade beyond recovery, Ash Wednesday appears on the doorstep. Another chance to start over! Just like a second New Year's Day!
Well, no.
Don't get me wrong: I'm all for chances to start over, and one of the things this convert loves most about the Church is Her matchless generosity with second, third, and umpteenth chances.
But despite appearances, New Year's resolutions and Lenten penances are actually just about opposites. One is all about self-improvement, and the other is all about the futility of self-improvement—all about "without Me you can do nothing." As Jacques Philippe points out in The Way of Trust and Love,it's easy get things very much backwards:
The desire for perfection is a good thing in itself, but it can be ambiguous. What do we really want? We would like to be experienced, irreproachable, never make any mistakes, never fall, possess unfailing good judgment and unimpeachable virtue. Which is to say we would like to have no more need of forgiveness or mercy, no more need of God and his help. If at bottom our dream of perfection is to be able to manage without God, we are no longer on the path of the Gospel.
New Year's resolutions are a more familiar, more American-friendly, more can-do kind of thing. Lenten penance is like a stranger who looks just like somebody you know, but as you get closer you realize your mistake.
Your New Year's resolution and your Lenten penance might even be identical. They might both lead to, say, losing weight, or achieving a more productive lifestyle. (Or not. There are all kinds of different approaches, with their respective "benefits and pitfalls," as Simcha Fisher points out here.) But here's the difference: a New Year's resolution is successful if you persist in doing (or not doing) whatever it is you've decided to attack.
A penance is successful if it brings you closer to a Person. If you keep your resolution flawlessly but your flawlessness turns you in on yourself ("I thank Thee, Lord, that I am not like other Catholics…"), then you've failed. St. Paul explains, in his letter to the Corinthians, and he doesn't mince words:
If Ihave the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have
love, I gain nothing.
This doesn't mean we ought to sneer at self-improvement techniques and fall into either despondent fatalism or complacent passivity. God gave us free will and "placed us in our own hands," as we personalists like to say, for a reason. "Becoming who we are" is, you might say, the most ambitious self-improvement project anyone could ever embark on. And it won't happen without our taking the reins of our own freedom.
But there's more to it.
So before you declare your Lent a failure, make sure you know what counts as a success.


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Call Us:
Email: email@example.com
Litchfield Piano Works is located in the scenic northwest corner of Connecticut. Since we started in 1999, the piano showroom has grown to become the largest in the northwest corner within easy reach from New York and Massachusettes. Our personalized attention extends from sales to service in piano restoration and piano tuning. An our service and attention extends well beyond our local region. Never hesitate to call on us from wherever you are.
I, Joe DiBlasi, am a piano player, and a piano technician with over 1,000 customers including Yale University, Warner Theater, The Palace Theater, Crosby, Stills and Nash, B.B. King, Aretha Franklin, Beatlemania, Arlo Guthrie, Kenny G., Waterbury Symphony, Natalie Cole, Linda Aller, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Bobby Vinton, Van Morrison, Joan Rivers, Tony Bennet, Jethro Tull, Leon Russell, Johnny Mathis, Infinity Hall, Willie Nelson, and Smokey Robinson. I haven't had one complaint.
Stop in and visit or give me a call at
. I look forward to hearing from you.
Joe DiBlasi
Owner, Litchfield Piano Works
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You can write to a magazine or newspaper for free advice or you can consult agony aunt online Charlotte...
Lots of people write to a magazine or newspaper columnist through their column but let me explain how this works. The column you write to is only interested in receiving your letter because they need a constant supply to feature in their column and pick out the juiciest ones to feature in their publication. For them it is a cheap way to fill that page. The women who reply to the mails do not get paid much and usually just glance quickly at whatever you have sent and write back with a link to a website, a phone number or leaflet. The only time they pay proper attention to yours when it is one they wish to feature in their advice column and the reply to it is written to entertain and pleasure the readers who buy the publication. Publications tend to select the juicy mails that talk about infidelity, cheating, lust, sex, incest etc to use in their column. If you send them long rambly mails (as so many do) they do not have time to read it carefully and thoroughly. On average you will wait a month for your advice which with little benefit, if any.
You can go to a friend or someone in the family or you can ask agony aunt and advice columnist Charlotte...
The advantage to going to someone you know for guidance might be that you know them but this can also mean that they judge you, criticise you, try to take over, become very opinionated but worst of all are biased. They may well tell you to do whatever suits them. So if you say you are thinking of emigrating to Australia they are bound to try to persuade you to stay because they want you to be near them not because it is better for you. There is also the disadvantage of how they know all of your business and with something very private and personal they may even threaten to tell others or leak out a secret to others you know.
You can post on the various forums offering free support or you can turn to Charlotte the online agony aunt...
It can take hours to find and post on all of these online sites, fine if you have lots of time to spare, but the main disadvantage to them is that most of the people who comment are other people who are also going through a tough time and seeking guidance. Then you will get comments from children or those who simply want to wind you up. When I recently looked at one of these forums I saw that someone had written that they were worried about finding a spot on their arm. Lots of people who had no medical training or background replied and one of them said" you definitely have cancer". Charming. The thing about forums is that a lot of the people who post are out of their depth and do not know what they are talking about, they post because they are bored or it makes them feel important.
You can write to the various amateur advisors or you can ask agony aunt online Charlotte...
Who do we mean by various amateur advisors? You can phone the Samaritans and you can email them. Usually their reply will be going on and on about "are you suicidal? have you thought about how and when you will do it?" and even if you tell them that you are not at all suicidal you get another mail like this. They are not supposed to advise you and many of them judge you and criticise you. Nine times out of ten they wil tell you that the solution to your problem is for you to go and do voluntary work - because they found that working at the Samaritans' office for a few hours a week helped them. Another amateur would be the Elderwisdomcircle site which is staffed by mature ladies who work for it part time. They do not have problem pages you write to them for an individual reply.Their belief is that an older lady can advise on anything and everything. How does this make sense? Many of these mature ladies have never worked, they have always been housewives and mothers and many of them leave all of the finances for their husband to deal with. Their life at the age of seventy is very much the same as it was when they were twenty and they have led a sheltered existence. We sent them a fake problem and asked for their guidance, we then sent the same problem to a different lady on the same site and got a totally different attitude and answer. Both of them had failed to take on board half of what was said in our original letter so the advice given was not appropriate to the person writing. It does not follow that an older person knows more, they may lack common sense as well as experience and knowledge.
Another amateur problem pages site you can write to which I found on the web yesterday was set up by a girl of about twenty and she had put on the home page of her problem pages that she was sorry but she was now too busy to deal with any more enquiries for guidance and help as she has to go to college and study so she had to close down her problem pages. In other words this person who is claiming to be able to advise others had not thought it through and was badly organised. Why would anyone want letters of "help" and "guidance" from someone who is so scatty or bother with her problem pages?
People from all over the World write to these problem pages to ask Charlotte Craig for guidance on their various problems. Most of them are worried about their marriage, going through a difficult divorce, or having concerns about getting access to their children or finances. Others are in a state because they have separated from a partner they want back or are being harrassed by an ex they are no longer interested in. Whatever it is they are consulting Charlotte about it is upsetting for them and causing them grief and this is why Charlotte has set up this service. Charlotte used to work as a face to face advisor helping people who went to see her at her office by appointment so she knows her stuff, she is not another wannabee on an ego trip or a bored housewife trying to find a way to bring in a few shillings.
If the quality of the help and support you are given does not matter then go to someone you know for. If you want to make sure you get real guidance then nobody but Charlotte Craig will do.
Typical questions people ask...
How can I get over my husband leaving me? Why did my wife go off with another man?
I am suicidal. How do I continue? Have been diagnosed with cancer and have no support.
Will my children blame me if I end my marriage? Should I move? Is it a good idea to marry my
boyfriend? Why won't my ex accept that it is over? When will my parents stop hassling me?
Does my girlfriend love me? How do I lose weight quickly?
Got a Problem? Questions?
Relationship issues?
Send your letters to Charlotte Craig
Ask the lady who is a
qualified, a very experienced,
full time professional
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Consult a newspaper free or get guidance on your questions from Charlotte the agony aunt advice columnist through her online column
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By DAVID BLACKMORE
Friday, November 30, 2012
Drivers continue to run the risk of getting stuck along a flooded road in the Fens to avoid a 30-mile detour.
The A1101 at Welney was closed earlier this month after heavy rainfall caused the River Ouse level at Welney Causeway to rise and spill over onto the flood plains, built to store excess water.
But people have been ignoring the warning signs and driving through the flooded stretch from the Hundred Foot Bridge to Suspension Bridge to get in and out of the village.
The EDP has been shown this video of a driver wading his way through deep water at Welney Wash before eventually making it back on to dry land.
It is the second time this year the stretch of road across the Welney Washes has been shut.
An Environment Agency spokesman said: "We strongly recommend that people stick to the guidelines and adhere to them in the interest of their own safety.
"We will advise the Highway Authority when the waters have receded sufficiently enough to reopen the road."
At 3.15pm yesterday the river level of the River Ouse at Welney Causeway, which usually lies at between nought and two metres, was measured at 3.75metres.
The Welney Washes were built in the 18th century to take floodwater in the Fens and beyond, especially in winter, as the great drainers began reclaiming the vast wetlands for farming.
Over the centuries, the area between the Delph and tidal Ouse has become a haven for birds and other wildlife, including thousands of swans.
Since the mid-1970s, however, a combination of factors has led to more regular summer floods and longer, deeper winter flooding.
Siltation in the tidal river has meant it takes longer to clear the water off the land in the spring via the pumps at Welmore Sluice.
One of the worst prolonged periods of flooding saw water depth levels reach more than 30 inches, with the road closed for several weeks in 2007.
But when temperatures fall below freezing, the vast expanses of shallow water freeze, which attracts people from across the country to enjoy traditional fen skating.
8 comments
Good advert for Land rover - I think it was okay for them to try it, like they said in the video next time they would go the long way round. We used to do that in the Army but we had to, how many of you with 4x4's would actually use your 4x4's to do that instead of the usual school run shopping trip etc? Well done lads like it lol...
Friday, November 30, 2012
In the military you had to do things like that because you were ordered to; these 2 were totally irresponsible and selfish, even if the vehicle could do it!!!
Saturday, December 1, 2012
How irresponsible is it to show this video? On this occasiion the driver got away with it but he might have become stranded and required a masive effort rom the emergency services to resue him. It didn't do the car any good either with water pouring in and possible damage to the engine, exhaust and brakes with the risk of compromising vehicle safety later on the journey.
Friday, November 30, 2012
How irresponsible is it to show this video? On this occasiion the driver got away with it but he might have become stranded and required a masive effort rom the emergency services to rescue him. It didn't do the car any good either with water pouring in and possible damage to the engine, exhaust and brakes with the risk of compromising vehicle safety later on the journey.
Friday, November 30, 2012
JCW. You obviously know NOTHING about Land Rover Defenders. They are DESIGNED to cope with this sort of terrain. The vehicle will have had a snorkel (or raised air intake) above the ROOF LINE, so no damage to the engine. The interior is designed to cope with water ingress, as are the brakes. How would water damage the exhaust?? The driver obviously knows the route, and knows how to drive in water, as he had a perfect "bow wave" in front of his Defender. . . . I have been through deep water like this in My Defender. It coped with it EASILY. . . . Good old Land Rovers. The go anywhere vehicle.
Friday, November 30, 2012
The heading is wrong I think? He doesn't attempt, he manages.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
So they drove through over 3' of water safely. If they did get stuck perhaps we could call on the help of Suffolk Police's elite tractor squad. Mind you their brand new tractor might get dirty so they might not want to help.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Get a life you guys, jealously will get you nowhere!!!!!
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
The views expressed in the above comments do not necessarily reflect the views of this site


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Ive said it before and I will say it again, now. Sentimentality has no place in choosing a self-defense handgun. If it doesnt work, it doesnt work. Learn to recognize when it is time to move on.
11 months ago I entered into the world of the 1911 .45acp with a Colt Combat Commander XSE. I was, and still am, utterly impressed with the accuracy of this firearm. It is a pure pleasure to shoot and the feel of it in my hand is wonderful. It aint bad lookin either.
As with most 1911s, it has issues with JHP ammunition. I switched to Wilson 47Ds and had some ramp work done. This solved the issue. And, yet, I still get the occasional FTF (double feed or failure to go into battery). They are rare, but disconcerting. In the last three range trips (roughly 300 rounds), I have had THREE such incidents using various factory ammunition and multiple magazines.
I have been averaging 1 failure per 875 rounds. I have been told that most 1911 owners would be satisfied with this rate and be happy. Nothing is perfect and anything mechanical can fail, blah, blah, blah.
When the Colt first went in for work, I started looking at other options. I own various GLOCKs and use a G19 as my secondary carry piece. I do like my G19 and I have no problem with it as a carry piece, but, I like the .45acp. I dont intended to get into caliber discussions. I like 9mm, but prefer .45acp. That is my personal choice. I really liked the concept of the SIG P220 SAO. Unfortunately, SIG only does a run of those every other leap year, or something like that. I could not find one ANYWHERE. Instead I picked up a P220 (DA/SA) as a secondary EDC. I have been shooting this for 4 months trying to get the DA/SA transition worked into my muscle memory.
After the last range trip I did some soul searching regarding the Colt as EDC. I decided that I could not carry it anymore. I slipped my G19 in a holster and put the 1911 away. Over the last five days I have been out of town dealing with my mother who has been in the hospital. I decided to take the SIG instead of the G19. Its size, weight, reliability, and, yes, caliber, was very comforting to me.
My brother asked me why I wasnt carrying the Colt and I told him the story. He said, But you love that gun. You said it was your favorite and would shoot it 24 hours a day if you could.
I had to explain that I DO still enjoy shooting that gun and it IS still my favorite, but for EDC it isnt right for me. It isnt personal. It is just a matter of using the right tool for the job.
So, for those out there who stick with a sub-par firearm out of some sense of loyalty or nostalgia or some other touchy-feely sentiment, I say enjoy your favorites at the range, but, CARRY the one(s) that you can rely upon to save your life.


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Batman bin Suparman Archives - Robot 6 @ Comic Book Resources
Batman bin Suparman learns the hard way that crime doesn't pay
Batman bin Suparman, a Singapore man who became an Internet sensation in 2008 for, well, being named Batman bin Suparman, has — against all odds — turned to a life of crime.
The National reports the 23-year-old Suparman was arrested in August after he was caught on security video sneaking into a store on two separate nights, stealing a total of $500. He ultimately admitted to those crimes and eight other charges, including stealing his brother's ATM card and making withdrawals of $650, and using heroin.
Prosecutors moved to trial on just three charges, and on Monday Suparman was sentenced to 33 months in jail. According to Channel NewsAsia, it could've been a lot worse: Housebreaking charges alone could've earned him between two and 14 years.


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Murray Feiss P1216HTBZ Heritage Bronze Perry 1 Light Mini Pendant with White Opal Etched Glass Shade
Feiss Indoor Lighting and Mirrors Sale
Save 10% on Feiss Indoor Lighting and Mirrors. No Coupon Necessary, Shop and Save!
Offer Ends 3/6/2015
Technical Specs
Exploded Parts | |
Installation Sheet | |
Specification Sheet | |
Bulb Base | Medium (E26) |
Bulb Included | No |
Bulb Type | Compact Fluorescent, Incandescent |
Collection | Perry |
Diameter | 7.25 |
Energy Star | No |
Genre | Traditional |
Glass Features | Frosted Glass |
Height | 7.125 |
Light Direction | Down Lighting |
Material | Steel |
Number of Bulbs | 1 |
Pendant Size | Mini Pendants |
Pendant Type | Single Pendant |
Shade | Yes |
Shade Color | White |
Shade Material | Glass |
Shade Shape | Dome |
Style | Traditional |
UL Listed | Yes |
UL Rating | Dry Location |
Voltage | 120 |
Wattage | 100 |
Watts Per Bulb | 100 |
Width | 7.25 |
Wire Length | 8 |
This product has additional required/recommended options. To configure, add to your cart.
Bulbs recommended
- Fixture includes three 12 inch stems and one 6 inch stem for easy installation at different hanging heights
- Fixture housing is constructed of Steel ensuring years of reliable performance
- Ultra secure mounting assembly
- All Feiss pendants featuring stem kits come with canopies equipped with a 90° swivel to allow for mounting on a vaulted ceilings
- Bulbs not included with this model - recommended bulbs will be offered upon checkout
- Mini Pendants look great in multiples above a kitchen island or bar
- Features a White Etched Glass shade
- Bulb Base - Medium (E26): The E26 (Edison 26mm), Medium Edison Screw, is the standard bulb used in 120-Volt applications in North America. E26 is the most common bulb type and is generally interchangeable with E27 bulbs.
- Compatible Bulb Types: Nearly all bulb types can be found for the E26 Medium Base, options include Incandescent, Fluorescent, LED, Halogen, and Xenon / Krypton.
- Number of Bulbs: 1
- Bulb Base: Medium (E26)
- Bulb Type: Compact Fluorescent
- Bulb Included: No
- Watts Per Bulb: 100
- Wattage: 100
- Voltage: 120
- Height: 7.125"
- Diameter: 7.25"
- Wire Length: 8"
- Energy Star: No
- UL Listed: Yes
- UL Rating: Dry Location
- UL Listed - Indicates whether a product meets standards and compliance guidelines set by Underwriters Laboratories. This listing determines what types of rooms or environments a product can be used in safely.
Additional Murray Feiss Links
- View Manufacturer Warranty
- Shop All Murray Feiss Products
- Shop All Murray Feiss Perry Collection Products
Our SKU: P1216
This product is listed under the following manufacturer number(s):
- Brushed Steel
P1216BS - Heritage Bronze
*Denotes a finish or option that has been discontinued
2 Questions from the Community
This item can mount on a sloped ceiling and an additional rod kit that includes 3 12" and 1 6" stem is item # 102021
Can I order extra rods and will it mount to a sloped ceiling?
A. This item can mount on a sloped ceiling and an additional rod kit that includes 3 12" and 1 6" stem is item # 102021
Murray Feiss P1216
What is the shortest hanging length including the glass globe this light can be hung? Is the brushed steel look like brushed nickel? Can you order the glass globe in another color other than the white?
A. Murray Feiss P1216
Murray Feiss Perry Collection
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Warranty Info
Feiss Import LLC warrants its products are free from defects in workmanship and materials. Such warranty is in lieu of all other warranties, including without limitation, any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. "Feiss" at its sole option, will repair or replace, a "Feiss" product, defective in workmanship or materials. Such repair or replacement is the sole and exclusive remedy against "Feiss" and is limited to one year from the date of shipment. "Feiss" reserves the right to determine whether to repair or replace. No charge back, or charge for labor or material, that does not have "Feiss" prior written approval, from "Feiss". "Feiss" will not be responsible for any consequential or incidental damages in connection with any breach of its aforementioned warranty. "Feiss" does not make any warranties whatsoever and therefore, will accept no responsibility or liability whatsoever, for any products subjected to inappropriate application, installation, modification, or any manner, not in accordance with "Feiss" written or implied instructions. No representative, employee or associate of "Feiss" has any authority to bind "Feiss" to any warranty concerning goods sold by "Feiss". This is the only enforceable warranty, provided by Feiss Import LLC.


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A new door is opening for research into areas like cancer, heart disease, inflammatory disease and more. We are able to make a variety of phytosomes from different herbs. That means we can look more closely at how these herbs prevent and treat disease.
Here are some examples of phytosomes on the market:
Grape Seed Extract Phytosome
All the wonderful properties of Grape Seed Extract are now more wonderful when they are made into a phytosome. The most well known antioxidant in Grape Seed Extract is called proanthocyanidin. Researchers on heart disease are looking into the potential benefits of this compound for strengthening blood vessels and preventing damage by free radicals.
Green Tea Extract Phytosome
Researchers are looking at how green tea extract may help prevent cancer. It is also being for its ability to lower cholesterol, protect the heart, and reduce platelet aggregation. While drinking green tea has beneficial effects on overall health, a more potent and effective form of green tea supplement is the phytosome extract.
Meriva® - Turmeric Extract Phytosome
The beneficial photochemicals in turmeric are collectively called "curcuminoids". Research into curcumin as an antioxidant reveals that it works only in mega doses. Now that the phytosome turmeric extract is available, the benefits are much more noticeable with less supplementing. This has opened up research into the possibility that it may be used to help treat Osteoarthritis. In a recent clinical trial, this phytosome has been shown to improve mobility, pain relief, and overall quality of life when used in combination with prescription treatments. (1)
Phytosomes Improve Absorption
The phytosome compound simply improves the effectiveness of certain herbal extracts. They do so by improving absorption. We absorb more of a phytosome than we would the original herbal extract. We get more of the medicine into our blood stream and to the areas of the body that need it most.
The Best Is Yet To Come
Since phytosomes are relatively new to science, it will take time to fully research the benefits of these compounds. In the meantime, supplements are available in your health food store that contain phytosome extracts of many common herbs. Milk Thistle, Gingko, & Hawthorn are other examples of phytosome supplements available already. but in a more potent way.
What is an Herbal Extract?
Herbal extracts are formulas that are made out of the herb. They usually contain a minimum of the active ingredient. For example, the active ingredient in Ginkgo called "flavonol glycosides" will be extracted. Then the final product is guaranteed to have a minimum amount of this extract (standardized extract). Herbal extracts are a way to take herbs for therapeutic purposes and have a guarantee of quality. They are also usually the forms utilized by researchers in clinical trials.
(1) Belcaro G., Cesarone M.R., Dugall M. et al., Product-evaluation registry of Meriva®, a curcumin-phosphadidylcholine complex, for the complementary management of osteoarthritis, Panminerva Medica 2010 Giugno;52(2 Suppl 1).55-62.
Aaron Ander is a holistic health care consultant and educator with a background in nutrition, iridology, reiki, biochemistry, and muscle testing. With many personal health challenges as a child, Aaron struggled his way to good health and overcame disease using natural means alone. This success led to a diploma in Applied Holistic Nutrition and a relentless pursuit of the roots of illness. He has visited and lived on organic farms in an effort to understand what constitutes a truly holistic life. Aaron currently lives with family in Nelson, British Columbia, Canada, where he writes articles for the holistic health community and has a healing practice. To contact Aaron please visit www.naturalpathhealing.com.


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Speech by World Bank Managing Director and COO Sri Mulyani Indrawati at the U.S.-ASEAN Business Council
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Opening Remarks by World Bank Group President Jim Yong Kim at Japanese and Korean Media Roundtable
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World Bank Group President Jim Yong Kim's Speech at Annual Meetings Plenary: One Group, Two Goals: Our Future Path
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Transcript of World Bank Group President Jim Yong Kim Opening Remarks at Neglected Tropical Diseases Conference, Washington DC
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