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Contra-Bandy ch18If Shawn had gone with me, I might not have felt so stupid. That sort of things happened a lot, and I was starting to realize it was not because he took up all of the Stupid in the room. In fact, the truth was "You're back," Caroline said, smiling and actually waving a little. Angie had gone back to reading her book, but with no semblance of peace or even comfort. Her shoulders were hunched, and she took a noticeably long time to turn a page. She didn't look up at me.I nodded, and walked wistfully over to the couch. I say 'wistfully', but really it was just a dizzy sort of totter quieted down for the girls' sake and my own pride. They were like lionessesshow any sign of weakness, and they would pounce on it. "I had to get something," I lied, something less than smooth about it.This drew a snort from Angie, who still didn't look up from her book. I had a feeling that she woul
Color Me InAfter the mostly pleasant chaos of Giovanni's house, my flat felt dreadfully dull. I didn't want to mope, though, so I decided to spend Sunday cleaning up a bit. By the time I thought of it, it was too far into the evening to lug my things down to the laundry. There were still plenty of other chores I had been putting off, though. I started with the least disgusting. Even if I couldn't wash any dirty clothes until tomorrow, I could at least gather them up.Unfortunately, this didn't take long. I really was infernally tidy, and I hadn't been in a mood to toss my clothes anywhere but in the laundry basket lately. I gave it a little kick and wished I hadn't spent so much of the morning sleeping in, even though some of my friends would have argued that it was what Sundays were for. The rest of the day had been given over to homework and the realization that I had actually begun to understand maths.Alth
Inevitable XIn the first five seconds after Van rushed off, three things happened. I unfroze myself enough to hold my stinging cheek and slide down the wall, the door swung gently shut with a painful click, and the phone rang. The first was the only thing I could actually deal with, but I managed to answer the phone after two more rings."Hello?" Ugh, I sounded so pathetic. Like pond scum drudged out of a mud sucker's nose er, gills." Where's Van?"Fuck everythingI knew that voice. A growl started at the back of my mouth, but I held it in check. The last thing I needed to do was get in to a shouting match with the green-haired bastard. Especially since he always won somehow. "He's not here," I said evenly, gritting my teeth.Christian made some kind of whistling noise as he breathed in. I hoped it was because he was having an asthma attack. "Why isn't he at home at luncht
Vesi Vanhin Voitehista 8A dark figure visible through the window grew larger as Taivuttaa leaned back into the chair, his legs were telling him to run again, on a Salugi-Eszme-related level. He stayed where he was, looking away from the window to search Novi's face for an answer.The man was chewing his bottom lip, eyes riveted to the window. Half a second after Taivuttaa had spoken, Novi had leapt to his feet, pulling Taivuttaa with him. "Come on," he said, calm, but urgent nonetheless."What's""Pray you won't find out firsthand." They were already out of the bathroom and headed for the office. "I'll explain later, if I can. For now, we just have to get the hell out of here."Taivuttaa held his tongue and allowed himself to be pulled through the office, taking no comfort in the bright colors and cheerful order of the room. In the brief moments it took to half-run from one door to the other, the affected normalcy of it seemed
Contra-Bandy ch17"Are you going to wait for Shawn to get that?""No." My head was comfortably smothered in the blankets, but I could still hear Angie's infernally bitchy voice all too well."Only it doesn't seem fair to make him get up again when he's trying to study, you know.""I'll get to it !"The knock repeated itself, a little more impatient this time. Angie exaggerated a sigh. "Don't get up. I'll answer it."My feet caught in the blanket, but my mad dash still carried me to the door before she could make good on her threat. If she'd even meant it. God was she exercising her bitch muscles today ! I kicked the blanket away, giving up the bits of me that longed for dignity and wanted to be taken seriously. They did force me to give Caroline a charming smile before they checked out, though. Shit, that reminded me. I was probably fired by now. I had to find another
Inevitable IXIt was a minute or two before I could get a sufficient hold on myself long enough to let go of my towel and even think about getting dressed. My heart was pounding so hard it actually hurt, and my lungs were aching from breathing normally instead of taking in the large gulps of air I'd needed in the hallway. He'd come over, without me wheedling or calling or anything. Did that mean something?I dropped the sodden towel on the floor and walked over to my closet. That was the kind of look I wanted to see on his face, wasn't it? I blushed, feeling my hair start to dry a bit quicker. He'd looked like a starving man faced with a steak dinner. I pulled down a blue sort-of dress shirt that had gotten old and faded, then slid my arms through the sleeves.Jeans were harder to findI would have to do laundry soon. I tugged on the second to last clean pair and kept my eyes on the door, wishing it would op


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- Nuggets Ink - http://blogs.denverpost.com/nuggets -
Nuggets coach George Karl, Andre Miller say they will carry fond memories of Rick Majerus
Posted By Christopher Dempsey On December 2, 2012 @ 2:52 pm In General Nuggets,George Karl | 1 Comment
Among the multitudes of visitors that attend Nuggets practices and games each season, Rick Majerus was as much of a fixture as it got. In Nuggets coach George Karl's life, he was as good friend and basketball confidant as he had.
Majerus' death due to heart failure was not a surprise to Karl. The coach was keenly aware of Majerus' constant battle with weight and health issues. It did not mean, however, it hurt any less when Majerus' financial advisor called Karl just minutes after the coach most known for his college success with Utah, passed.
"The sadness of it is I had probably dreamed about what happened (on Saturday) about 30 times in my life because I knew he wasn't in good health," Karl said. "But now it's real. Now we've got to deal with it and somehow figure out how to celebrate a special person."
The Nuggets' connections to Majerus are as deep as any team in the NBA. Andre Miller was recruited by and played for Majerus at Utah from 1995-99. With the two playing lead roles along with center Michael Doleac, the Utes advanced to the NCAA national title game in 1998.
"I probably just talked to him this summer before I signed back with Denver," Miller said. "He definitely made a change in my life, giving me the opportunity to get a college education and play college basketball. I enjoyed all of my times with him, and probably was the most influential coach as far as teaching me how to play basketball at the college level, and at the pro level."
Karl, fighting back tears, talked about Majerus' impact on his life.
"The guy was a great coach," Karl said. "It's still too short a period of time for me to really have my thoughts in a good place. There's a lot of Rick Majerus in how I coach. There's a lot of Rick Majerus in how I act as a person. I'll never forget him."
Follow Chris Dempsey on Twitter @dempseypost [1]or email him at firstname.lastname@example.com
Article printed from Nuggets Ink: http://blogs.denverpost.com/nuggets
URL to article: http://blogs.denverpost.com/nuggets/2012/12/02/nuggets-coach-george-karl-guard-andre-miller-carry-fond-memories-rick-majerus/7646/
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subset: commoncrawl


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Week 2: Eat Good Fats to Stay Slim
During Week 2 of the four-week plan, focus on eating fat. Yes, fat. In YOU: On a Diet, Drs. Roizen and Oz explain that, "like bosses, fats in food come in two broad categories: those that are good for your well-being and those that want you to suffer. The strongest influence you can have on your levels of cholesterol (not to mention your waist size) is by watching what fats you're eating. Yes, you can and should eat certain fats to stay lean and healthy."
So, what are the good fats? According to the docs, Omega-3s, found in foods like salmon and walnuts, are tops, followed by monounsaturated fats such as olive oil. The worst? Saturated fat, like that in meat, and trans fats, which are used in some processed foods. For more information on fat sources to seek out and to avoid, go to RealAge's Ultimate Guide to Good and Bad Fats.
Try these 7 recipes chock-full of good fats this week. Stay the course with Week 3: Go Natural.
Tuesday: Orange and Avocado Salad
Skip the fast-food line during lunch in favor of this colorful salad with creamy avocados.
Wednesday: Mediterranean Tuna Panini
For a great sandwich filling, spike canned tuna with salty olives and capers, bright lemon juice, and tangy feta.
Thursday: Roasted Cod with Warm Tomato-Olive-Caper Tapenade
Not sure how to make cod flavorful? Try this Mediterranean recipe, which punches up the flavor with a colorful, warm tomato tapenade.
Friday: Chicken and Farfalle with Creamy Walnut Sauce
Good news: Nuts are on the "good fat" list. This standout dish is gorgeous-looking, lively tasting, and rich in omega-3s, thanks to a double hit of walnuts (nuts and oil).
Saturday: Tomato-and-Olive-Stuffed Portobello Caps
Olives are another misunderstood ingredient they too are low in saturated fat. This recipe calls for mixing tomatoes, cheese, and olives to create a toothsome stuffing for hearty portobello mushrooms.
Sunday: The Ultimate Guacamole
Sunday's for watching football, and what goes best with football? Omega 3-rich guacamole! Bake cut-up whole wheat pitas in the toaster oven to use as dippers instead of saturated-fat-laden tortilla chips.
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Boom! Launches Boom! Tube YouTube Show
- Posted by Johanna on June 2, 2014 at 8:43 am
- Category: Comic News
Boom! Studios has launched a weekly YouTube series, Boom! Tube, to promote its latest releases and announcements. Hosted by Stephanie Hocutt (who, according to her Twitter feed, is a PR assistant at the company), the show updates every Wednesday. Here's the announcement video:
The guest for the first episode is Alex Galer, an assistant editor at Boom! who's also in the announcement clip. According to VP of Publishing & Marketing Filip Sablik, "since YouTube is one of the largest social networks on the planet, this was the obvious next step" to engage with fans. I like the idea and the hosts, but they really have to stop pretending they're dancing to music we can't hear — it makes them look crazy. I'd also like to see a couple of full-screen preview pages from any comic they're promoting. The cover just doesn't provide enough information; they need content we can't get plenty of other places. It remains to be seen if they can provide the behind-the-scenes info and creator interviews they're promising, but I hope they can make this something truly informative, not just a "coming this week" list.
Update: As of June 18, the show has been renamed "Buzz on Boom!" I think that's a better name, and the host is continuing to do an ever-better job.
One Response to "Boom! Launches Boom! Tube YouTube Show"
- Buzz on Boom! Releases Creative Episode » Comics Worth Reading Says:
July 9, 2014 at 7:30 AM[…] Buzz on Boom! comic company promo series (formerly Boom! Tube) has this week put out its best episode yet, by bringing us both a guest star, geek girl Rileah […]


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Ritodrine or terbutaline for slowing preterm labor
Generic Name |
ritodrine |
terbutaline |
Ritodrine and terbutaline are sometimes used as tocolytic medicines to slow uterine contractions during preterm labor. Ritodrine and terbutaline are given through a vein (intravenously, or IV) and/or by injection.
Use of terbutaline for the treatment of preterm labor is an unlabeled use of the medicine. Terbutaline has been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for the treatment of asthma and other breathing conditions, but it is also widely used to treat preterm labor.
The longer ritodrine and terbutaline are used, the less effective they are at stopping contractions (an effect called tachyphylaxis).
How It Works
Ritodrine and terbutaline can relax smooth muscles, like the uterus. These medicines also affect the smooth muscles of the blood vessels and the small airways of the lungs.
Why It Is Used
Ritodrine or terbutaline can be used during preterm labor when:
- Labor needs to be delayed for 24 to 48 hours
- Let corticosteroids, given to the mother, help fetal lungs mature.
- Provide time to move a mother to a hospital that provides neonatal intensive care, if her local hospital does not.
- Regular uterine contractions have thinned (effaced) the cervix less than 80% and opened (dilated) it less than 4 cm, and the mother's amniotic sac has not broken.
- The mother is healthy.
- The fetus is alive and not in distress.
Depending on the medical facility, ritodrine or terbutaline may be the first medicine used to delay premature birth.
How Well It Works
Both ritodrine and terbutaline are considered equally effective when labor needs to be delayed for 24 to 48 hours. But they usually do not completely stop contractions. Nor have they been shown to lower risks for the premature baby.1, 2
Side Effects
Side effects are common with ritodrine and terbutaline use and may affect both the mother and fetus. Side effects can include:
- A nervous and/or shaking feeling and anxiety.
- A racing heartbeat or palpitations. These medicines should not be used for women with known heart conditions.
- Chest pain or tightness. If this occurs, let a doctor know immediately.
- Nausea, vomiting, or both.
- Headache.
- Low blood pressure.
- Fever.
- Increased blood sugar (glucose) levels. These medicines should not be used for women with poorly controlled diabetes or thyroid conditions.
- Decreased blood potassium levels. This can cause heart problems and muscle spasms in the legs.
- Fluid collecting in the lungs (pulmonary edema), a rare but life-threatening problem that is most common with women in premature labor who also have an infection. During ritodrine or terbutaline treatment, fluids are often limited to prevent this condition.
- Hallucinations.
See Drug Reference for a full list of side effects. (Drug Reference is not available in all systems.)
What To Think About
If ritodrine or terbutaline treatment is effective, its effect typically lasts no more than 48 hours. Long-term treatment is not advised (based on the risk of serious side effects), nor is it effective.1
- Both ritodrine and terbutaline are sometimes harmful to the mother. The risks of treatment must be weighed against the benefit of delaying birth.
- Both medicines can greatly increase the mother's and fetus's pulse. The mother must have her blood pressure and pulse checked frequently during the first few hours of treatment.
- Ritodrine is expensive compared with other tocolytic medicines used to treat preterm labor.
Complete the new medication information form (PDF)(What is a PDF document?) to help you understand this medication.
Last Updated: January 14, 2009
Author: Sandy Jocoy, RN
Medical Review: Sarah Marshall, MD - Family Medicine & Deborah A. Penava, BA, MD, FRCSC, MPH - Obstetrics and Gynecology


text: Everyone loves Lakeview! 2711 SQ. FT. per owner. Extra-large 9,675 sq. ft. lot. Great pool and spa with plenty of deck space and new awning covered area to lounge in the shade. Living room has cathedral ceiling, fireplace, and a wall of handsome built-in book shelves. Large master is newer addition with sitting room. Office/den extra room. Walk to the best children's park on the beach and brand new community center. This is a lovely home to make your own.


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Bright shining happiness. Perfect for corporate success and achievement. Understated and simple. Revolving guitar riff is supported by piano and choral pads with a solo violin subtly added. Propulsive but allows room for voice over or other audio. Feel good vibe throughout.
You get two versions – one with solo violin and one without.


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Cancer-related constipation
- Jay Thomas MD, PhD
- … show all 1 hide
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Get AccessAbstract
Cancer-related constipation is common and a significant detractor from patient quality of life. It has many possible causes and is still not well understood. Information is lacking on therapies for cancer-related constipation among current medications approved by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Most agents have only been formally tested in comparison with placebo in chronic idiopathic constipation if at all. Few comparative studies of laxatives have been performed to establish superiority or synergy. As we understand more about the physiology of the gastrointestinal tract, new targeted therapies have become available. These include a selective chloride channel activator, lubiprostone, and a selective 5HT4 serotonin receptor agonist, tegaserod, both of which have been FDA approved for chronic idiopathic constipation. The role of these agents in cancer-related constipation remains to be seen. On the horizon are two investigational peripherally acting opioid receptor antagonists, alvimopan and methylnaltrexone. Preliminary results in cancer-related constipation suggest that these agents may be important additions to our treatment repertoire.
- Longstreth GF, Thompson WG, Chey WD, et al.: Functional bowel disorders. Gastroenterology 2006, 130:1480–1491. CrossRef
- Brandt LJ, Prather CM, Quigley EM, et al.: Systematic review on the management of chronic constipation in North America. Am J Gastroenterol 2005, 100(Suppl 1):S5–S21. CrossRef
- Sykes NP: The pathogenesis of constipation. J Support Oncol 2006, 4:213–218.
- Sykes NP: The relationship between opioid use and lax ative use in terminally ill cancer patients. Palliat Med 1998, 12:375–382. CrossRef
- Gomes OA, de Souza RR, Liberti EA: A preliminary investigation of the effects of aging on the nerve cell number in the myenteric ganglia of the human colon. Gerontology 1997, 43:210–217. CrossRef
- Garvey M, Noyes R, Jr., Yates W: Frequency of constipation in major depression: relationship to other clinical variables. Psychosomatics 1990, 31:204–206.
- Fenn GC, Wilkinson PD, Lee CE, Akbar FA: A general practice study of the efficacy of Regulan in functional constipation. Br J Clin Pract 1986, 40:192–197.
- Ashraf W, Park F, Lof J, Quigley EM: Effects of psyllium therapy on stool characteristics, colon transit and anorectal function in chronic idiopathic constipation. Aliment Pharmacol Ther 1995, 9:639–647. CrossRef
- Moriarty KJ, Kelly MJ, Beetham R, Clark ML: Studies on the mechanism of action of dioctyl sodium sulphosuccinate in the human jejunum. Gut 1985, 26:1008–1013.
- Sykes NP: A volunteer model for the comparison of laxatives in opioid-related constipation. J Pain Symptom Manage 1996, 11:363–369. CrossRef
- Sanders JF: Lactulose syrup assessed in a double-blind study of elderly constipated patients. J Am Geriatr Soc 1978, 26:236–239.
- Wesselius-De Casparis A, Braadbaart S, et al.: Treatment of chronic constipation with lactulose syrup: results of a double-blind study. Gut 1968, 9:84–86.
- Andorsky RI, Goldner F: Colonic lavage solution (polyethylene glycol electrolyte lavage solution) as a treatment for chronic constipation: a double-blind, placebo-controlled study. Am J Gastroenterol 1990, 85:261–265.
- DiPalma JA, DeRidder PH, Orlando RC, et al.: A randomized, placebo-controlled, multicenter study of the safety and efficacy of a new polyethylene glycol laxative. Am J Gastroenterol 2000, 95:446–450. CrossRef
- Gremse DA, Hixon J, Crutchfield A: Comparison of polyethylene glycol 3350 and lactulose for treatment of chronic constipation in children. Clin Pediatr (Phila) 2002, 41:225–229. CrossRef
- Soffer EE, Metcalf A, Launspach J: Misoprostol is effective treatment for patients with severe chronic constipation. Dig Dis Sci 1994, 39:929–933. CrossRef
- Roarty TP, Weber F, Soykan I, McCallum RW: Misoprostol in the treatment of chronic refractory constipation: results of a long-term open label trial. Aliment Pharmacol Ther 1997, 11:1059–1066. CrossRef
- Verne GN, Davis RH, Robinson ME, et al.: Treatment of chronic constipation with colchicine: randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled, crossover trial. Am J Gastroenterol 2003, 98:1112–1116.
- Lyden-Sokolowski A, Nilsson A, Sjoberg P: Two-year carcinogenicity study with sennosides in the rat: emphasis on gastro-intestinal alterations. Pharmacology 1993, 47Suppl 1:209–215. CrossRef
- Mitchell JM, Mengs U, McPherson S, et al.: An oral carcinogenicity and toxicity study of senna (Tinnevelly senna fruits) in the rat. Arch Toxicol 2006, 80:34–44. CrossRef
- Ueno R, Osama H, Habe T, et al.: Oral SPI-0211 increases intestinal fluid secretion and chloride concentration without altering serum electrolyte levels Gastroenterology 2004, 126:A298 (abstract M1109).
- Camilleri M, Bharucha AE, Ueno R, et al.: Effect of a selective chloride channel activator, lubiprostone, on gastrointestinal transit, gastric sensory, and motor functions in healthy volunteers. Am J Physiol Gastrointest Liver Physiol 2006, 290:G942–G947. CrossRef
- Johanson J, Gargano M, Holland P, et al.: Phase III study of lubiprostone, a chloride channel-2 (ClC-2) activator for the treatment of constipation: safety and primary efficacy [abstract]. Am J Gastroenterol 2005, 100:s328–s329.
- Johanson J, Gargano M, Holland P, et al.: Phase III efficacy and safety of RU-0211, a novel chloride channel activator, for the treatment of constipation Gastroenterology 2003, 124:A48. CrossRef
- Johanson JF, Wald A, Tougas G, et al.: Effect of tegaserod in chronic constipation: a randomized, double-blind, controlled trial. Clin Gastroenterol Hepatol 2004, 2:796–805. CrossRef
- Kamm MA, Muller-Lissner S, Talley NJ, et al.: Tegaserod for the treatment of chronic constipation: a randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled multinational study. Am J Gastroenterol 2005, 100:362–372. CrossRef
- Muller-Lissner SA, Fumagalli I, Bardhan KD, et al.: Tegaserod, a 5-HT(4) receptor partial agonist, relieves symptoms in irritable bowel syndrome patients with abdominal pain, bloating and constipation. Aliment Pharmacol Ther 2001, 15:1655–1666. CrossRef
- Novick J, Miner P, Krause R, et al.: A randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled trial of tegaserod in female patients suffering from irritable bowel syndrome with constipation. Aliment Pharmacol Ther 2002, 16:1877–1888. CrossRef
- Kellow J, Lee OY, Chang FY, et al.: An Asia-Pacific, double blind, placebo controlled, randomised study to evaluate the efficacy, safety, and tolerability of tegaserod in patients with irritable bowel syndrome. Gut 2003, 52:671–676. CrossRef
- Gonenne J, Camilleri M, Ferber I, et al.: Effect of alvimopan and codeine on gastrointestinal transit: a randomized controlled study. Clin Gastroenterol Hepatol 2005, 3:784–791. CrossRef
- Yuan CS, Doshan H, Charney MR, et al.: Tolerability, gut effects, and pharmacokinetics of methylnaltrexone following repeated intravenous administration in humans. J Clin Pharmacol 2005, 45:538–546. CrossRef
- Paulson DM, Kennedy DT, Donovick RA, et al.: Alvimopan: an oral, peripherally acting, mu-opioid receptor antagonist for the treatment of opioid-induced bowel dysfunction—a 21-day treatment-randomized clinical trial. J Pain 2005, 6:184–192. CrossRef
- Yuan CS, Foss JF, O'Connor M, et al.: Methylnaltrexone for reversal of constipation due to chronic methadone use: a randomized controlled trial. JAMA 2000, 283:367–372. CrossRef
- Thomas J, Lipman A, Slatkin N, et al.: A phase III double-blind, placebo-controlled trial of methylnaltrexone (MNTX) for opioid-induced constipation (OIC) in advanced medical illness (AMI). J Clin Oncol 2005, 23(16S):1096s.
- Slatkin N, Karver S, Thomas J, et al.: A phase III double-blind, placebo-controlled trial of every other day dosing of methylnaltrexone for opioid-induced constipation in advanced illness. Gastroenterology 2006, 131:950. CrossRef
- Title
- Cancer-related constipation
- Journal
Current Oncology Reports
Volume 9, Issue 4 , pp 278-284
- Cover Date
- 2007-07-01
- 10.1007/s11912-007-0034-z
- Print ISSN
- 1523-3790
- Online ISSN
- 1534-6269
- Publisher
- Current Science Inc.
- Additional Links
- Topics
- Industry Sectors
- Authors
- Author Affiliations
- 1. San Diego Hospice & Palliative Care, San Diego, 4311 3rd Avenue, San Diego, CA, 92103, USA


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I am currently researching the Lambert side of my Tree. The surnames I am looking for include Lambert, Dillon, Chesney, Pointer>Painter. Thomas Lambert b. 1755 is my current effort. Want to find his parents, siblings and their other descendants. Also, looking for families for his children: Timothy b. June 14, 1803 VA; John b: May 1, 1802 VA. Need information on the children of his son Thomas Lambert b. November 13, 1804 VA: Eliza J. Lambert b. 1837 in OH; William H. Lambert b. 1839 OH; Mary C. Lambert b. 1841 OH; Sarah Lambert b. 1844 OH and John F. Lambert b. 1850 MO. Any help will be much appreciated. Please feel free to contact me with any questions or information. |
Ancestors of Thomas W. Lambert
Updated May 4, 2006 |
Thomas W. Lambert |
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So for the first time in a long time today, I was really depressed. It's almost always been an issue, but today it was so much worse than usual. I guess it started when I woke up late today so I could finish up a paper for english. Which ended up being a 3.5 page paper (go me :)), but I missed my favorite period, ceramics. Well, I went to school and shit, got through the day (it wasnt so bad) but then I had to go to the bank after school to cash my pay-check. After frantically seraching everywhere, I realized that I lost it. Figures... And I dont get paid again for 2 weeks... I guess no gas for me. Well yeah, and I had to drive everyone around for a million years. Anyway. I went around and drove on interstate 26 because thats the road I go on when I need to get away. I came home, and I got on my computer. After realizing that I liked yeat another straight guy, I almost died. I just went into hysteria. Not really though, thats kinda like a hperbole! Anyway, yeah, it was bad. I was so sick of being alone, not that im better now or anything, but at least im dealing. But, I'm so tired of living in redneck frederick where everyone is straight and youre crucified if you arent. But, I just cried. After trying so hard with everything, just another straight guy and a dead end. I'm hoping that soon I'll meet someone. And I alos hope that, soon, Rachel and I will be touring... Well thats it, um. Ill write later :)
sorry its just me posting agian :P I love you hon and you know it. and in ceramics we can make a realy cool bowl :P we wil conquer the world and we will prevail :P .. i have to get up for school in 7 hours :( but i just wanted to declare to oasis how much i love u :)


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Despite the small hiccup in Indianapolis, Fernando Alonso is currently 19 points ahead in the drivers championship and is well on track to retain his crown as world champion in 2006. The Spaniards enviable lead over nearest rival Michael Schumacher is undoubtedly a cause for celebration. But Alonso remains as levelheaded as ever and is quick to point out that this is Formula One racing and anything can happen. So - for now at least - the current world champion is determined to play down speculation that victory is a sure thing
Q: At the beginning of the season you said that you think you can win the championship again. After 10 races and with a good lead in the championship table, is the chance of you winning a certainty?
Fernando Alonso: Anything but a certainty! People seem to think that we have an easy dominance at Renault, or that our lead cannot be caught, but from the inside it is not easy. We saw in Indianapolis that to maintain our position, every part of the package must be perfect each weekend. We need to carry on being aggressive with the development, like we have been so far. The beginning of the season was better than expected, but it will be won or lost in the summer. For sure, we prefer to go into these next races with a lead and not a deficit, because that means the pressure is on our rivals. But we are taking nothing for granted, and we will attack all the way to the end of the season.
Q: Why are Renault so dominant this season?
FA: I think we were 100 percent ready for the first race. With the new rules about the engine, and with a brand new car for the V8 engine, we were a little bit worried about the competitiveness at the start. But the team had a fantastic winter and when we got to Bahrain, we were 100 percent ready. Winning those opening races was crucial. But now, we have shown that we can develop the car as well, with a lot of new parts. And Michelin have done a fantastic job, with the best tyres at 9 of 10 races. Every part of the team is working very well.
Q: Indianapolis was the first race this season where you didnt finish on the podium. Do you like the track? Looking forward to next weekend in Magny-Cours - will the Spanish flag be flying on the podium?
FA: It is not my favourite circuit, but I dont know why I have never had a good result there. Last week, we did not have the grip in the race and we never got the car to work right. But I dont think that this is the trend for the season now. After 2005, we had to be careful at Indianapolis, but I think the normal situation will return in Magny-Cours. That doesnt mean we will win automatically, but it will be a very close fight with Ferrari again - and the tyre manufacturer who does the best job, will give their team the advantage.
Q: Which races do you think will secure you the championship?
FA: I think they are all big races. For sure, in France it will be important for Renault to be strong. First, because it is a special race - the centenary of the Grand Prix, and the home race for Renault, Elf and Michelin. But also to be competitive with Ferrari and have a more normal situation. Every race we maintain the gap to Ferrari, it becomes harder for them to catch us. But you cannot afford to retire at all, that is the key. Any race where a retirement happens will become a big race.
Q: With the new engine agreement just around the corner and the realisation that Renault is in the best position when the freeze becomes effective in 2007 - any regrets on committing yourself to McLaren too early?
FA: No, it doesnt make me question my decision. Everybody knows the reasons why I chose to move on to a new challenge, and this doesnt alter them.
Q: You have grown up at Renault and know perfectly how the team functions and what it is capable of. What do you expect from your future team and how will you deal with the much more political environment there - at Renault there is Flavio Briatore but at McLaren Mercedes there is a dual management?
FA: Politics are not my concern, that is to be driving the car. One of the challenges will be to learn to work with new people, and a new team, but this was one of the challenges I was looking for.
Q: It looks like you might be swapping cockpits with Kimi Raikkonen
FA: I dont know what will happen for the other drivers, all I know is that I will do my maximum for Renault until the end of 2006 and for my new team after that.
Q: Earlier in the season, Renaults CEO Carlos Ghosn made it very clear that Renaults commitment to Formula One racing depends on the teams ability to win and at Indianapolis last weekend DaimlerChrysler CEO Dieter Zetsche expressed the same belief. The pressure is probably more on McLaren, as their last win was quite some time ago. How do you feel about this?
FA: I am used to racing for a big manufacturer. These days, with the big companies and manufacturers in Formula One, you cannot do crazy things any more. You have to be professional, even during the off season. Sure, we enjoy our jobs, but you have to train, to do sponsor days, and all these things. I dont think that is so different from team to team. The priority for me is to drive the car well and do the maximum in the car.


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One of the classic rock & roll musical of all time, The Rocky Horror Show will soon arrive in Leeds. Tickets are on sales from £16.50 from here.
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Body found in trunk of car in Kearny Mesa; Vehicle belongs to missing woman Grace Anne Hall
Police working to identify body
SAN DIEGO - A car discovered with a body in the trunk is registered to a San Diego woman missing since March.
Police Thursday said the 1997 Toyota Camry was located at a Kearny Mesa business complex in the 7700 block of Convoy Court shortly before 9:30 a.m.
10News learned the car belongs to Grace Anne Hall, who was last seen March 20 in the area of 9100 Rebecca Avenue in Serra Mesa.
Hall was last seen March 20 in the area of 9100 Rebecca Avenue in Serra Mesa, police said.
Police have not yet confirmed the identity of the deceased person.
Police said the person's body was found inside the trunk of the vehicle, and the circumstances prompted police to call in homicide investigators.
"They were taking pictures of what was in the trunk, it looked like clothes or something," said Mary Zandi, who works nearby.
Detectives told 10News the victim was clothed and not tied up.
"I can tell you there was some trauma to the body, we don't know if that's what caused the death," said San Diego police Lt. Jorge Duran.
Detective say the injury was either blunt force trauma or stab wounds.
They have yet to rule the case a homicide, and while detectives say they've seen a few suicides with a body found in a trunk, they told 10News it's not likely.
"When the victim is found in a trunk, it's usually foul play; they didn't voluntarily go into the trunk, let's put it that way," said Duran.
For many who worked around the area, the car was a familiar sight.
"They noticed it's been there long; same spot, hasn't moved at all," said Michael Lopez.
10News learned some workers noticed the car parked there for at least 2 to 3 weeks.


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Examining Kevin Smith's Red State Self-Distribution Gamble
One man's attempt to change the face of film distribution
By Jeremiah Karpowicz | June 17, 2014
In January of 2011, Kevin Smith premiered Red State at the Sundance Film Festival. As with practically every film that's screened at Sundance, filmmakers were there to show off their work in the hopes that one of the assembled distributors would purchase the film for a theatrical release. But in early 2011, Smith had something else in mind as he tried to turn traditional film distribution on its head.
Distributors showed up to Sundance that year as they do every year with the expectation that they'd be bidding for the distribution rights of the films that were being showcased. The dynamics of this system are interesting, because it means you have directors who have released major motion pictures competing with people who have maxed out their credit card to produce their passion project. They might not be directly competing with each other, especially since films like Red State are non-competition features, but distributors nonetheless have a budget and know they can drive a harder bargain with some directors/producers than with others. As it turns out though, Smith was looking to drive the hardest bargain of anyone that year.
Created for 4 million dollars, distributors were likely happy with the margins around how much they'd need to spend marketing the film in order to turn a profit on Red State. Given Smith's fan-base and the controversial nature of the film, it's easy to imagine them figuring they could double or triple their investment. They probably had a number in mind that Smith could have lived with which would have allowed him to focus his efforts on his next film.
So imagine their surprise when Smith's producer John Gordon announced the beginning of an auction for the distribution rights, and Smith himself bid $20. There likely were more than a few chuckles, but they probably stopped pretty quickly when Gordon yelled "Sold!"
Obviously this was Smith's plan all along, as he stated he had no interest in seeing a distributor spend 20 million dollars marketing his 4 million dollar movie. In fact, he said selling his film like that "would be like having a baby and then selling it to somebody else to raise," and those were some of the kinder words he used when he talked about what he thought about traditional film distribution. He even commented that he was giving us "Indie Film 2.0", where filmmakers control and are responsible for more than just the creation of their film.
Now, this isn't to say that Smith created this form of self-distribution. Going on the road to promote and bring people out to your movie has been something filmmakers have been doing for awhile, and the roots of this model go all the way back to vaudeville shows. That said, he was by far the biggest name director to approach distribution in this manner. Fairly or not, most people assume that filmmakers who self-distribute their film do so out of necessity rather than choice. That clearly was not the case for Smith, and that's the main reason it was such a big deal.
After word got out about what he had said and done, Smith received plenty of negative feedback from all sides. He fueled many of those reactions with comments like "you've lied to me many times" when speaking about those distributors. He also had to know that saying "this business bullshit should only be important to the investors," would rile up some of his fellow filmmakers since many of them view the business aspect of their films as an essential part of the process. One can imagine that it was equal parts anger and apathy that got Smith to make such comments, but none of that was as important as the fact that he was throwing everything he had behind the successful self-distribution of his film.
You can argue that Smith's approach left something to be desired, but it's easy to see what got him to this way of thinking. He simply didn't feel it made any sense to spend 5x more money on marketing a movie than was spent on making it. Smith also knew his movie had niche appeal, and while he was certainly proud of it and expected people to like it, he knew he wasn't making the next Spider-Man movie. He'd attract an audience as he always did, but spending money on a billboard or commercial didn't make much sense because the sort of people that are drawn in by such things wouldn't be interested in Red State.
What's more, by giving up distribution rights he'd be allowing others to profit from his film if it became a run-away success. By taking out the distributors, Smith felt he could eliminate the middleman and get his product to his audience while keeping the fate of his movie under his control. The traditional film distribution system didn't make sense for Smith, and he intended to blow the whole thing up. Smith figured he'd rely on a more powerful method of marketing that would mean he got to keep a much larger percentage of the profit, even if the total profits wouldn't be as much. Having this smaller pie was better than getting a slice of a larger one.
That much more powerful method of marketing is a key factor in all of this though. Undoubtedly, Smith was hoping genuine buzz and word-of-mouth would promote the film, but his fan-base and podcast network were the main avenues he knew he could use to market his film. Smith's Smodcast Network features numerous podcasts which could all promote the movie, and he knew he had a fan-base that would support any film he created.
His comments about "Indie 2.0" seem to indicate he was looking at how this could affect the industry as a whole, but his fan-base and podcast network are things other indie directors wouldn't necessarily be able to rely on. That's not a criticism so much as a fact. Smith has built up his fan-base over the past twenty years and has put in an incredible amount of energy and effort into his podcast network, so there's nothing wrong with him leveraging both to help this endeavor succeed. He probably wasn't too concerned about these details anyway. If this worked, the model would theoretically be there for others to emulate, even if they didn't have built-in fans or a podcast network.
There were plenty of people who wondered whether audiences would be willing to pay $60 to see a movie, even if it did include a Q&A with the creatives. And then there were others who simply wanted to see him fail because he had thumbed his nose in their faces. But Smith was not to be denied, and he moved forward with his ambitious plan in the spring and summer of 2011.
And the results, critically and commercially, were…mixed. The domestic box office return for the movie was paltry, but that was never where the bulk or even much of the revenue was supposed to come from. Smith claims the movie turned a profit, and based on the numbers he throws out there it sounds like the movie pulled in somewhere between 6-8 million in revenue, which would give him a nice little profit.
Regardless of what those numbers look like, you have to remember that's after what must have been an exhaustive tour of the country plus an impossible to quantify marketing campaign via his Smodcast network. It might not be fair to lambast Smith for relying on his fan-base and network to fuel this venture, but it's a key factor in figuring out whether or not this is a viable way to distribute a film in 2014 and beyond.
That's a relevant question to consider, because Smith himself doesn't seem to think it is. After all, A24 is distributing Smith's next film, Tusk. I haven't found any statements from Smith talking through why he chose to distribute Tusk in this traditional manner but you have to think it's because the returns from Red State were not worth the effort he put into it. My estimate of 6-8 million in revenue would have put him well into the black, but it's impossible to compare that to what his profit would look like if the film were traditionally distributed. It's easy to imagine the box office total for a wide theatrical release coming in a bit higher, but that goes back to having a smaller pie versus getting a slice of a larger one.
And remember, that's with a fan-base that Smith has built over the past twenty years. That's with a podcast network that he engages with on an almost daily basis. That's with the fame that comes from working with big name actors like Ben Affleck and Seth Rogen…but it seems like all of that still wasn't enough. If that's the case, then what chance would a true indie filmmaker have of ever being able to successfully distribute a film in this manner?
Of course, all of that is ignoring the most important part of this equation, which is the film itself. Red State received mixed reviews and never had the same impact as Smith's own Clerks. You get the sense that the people who were going to see this movie were always going to see it, and that was about as far as it ever went. But what if the movie had appealed to a wider audience? If the original Blair Witch Project had been distributed in this manner, would it still have been the same cultural and economic phenomenon? Or would it have been an even bigger one?
Smith is on record as saying it took seven years for the $30,000 Clerks to turn a profit, but what if he had self-distributed that movie? He would have been forced to rely on the movie itself as the main selling point…and of course, that's exactly how he was able to break through in 1994 with Clerks. But how quickly would it have turned a profit if he had self-distributed it, which meant the people who wanted to see it needed to spend $50 on a ticket? Or would it have ever turned a profit at all?
This self-distribution model Smith attempted to pioneer with Red State relies on getting more money from your biggest fans, and it's a concept that many businesses adhere to. The old maxim says 20% of your customers' produce 80% of your sales. So if a Kevin Smith fan is willing to pay $10 to see his film in a theater, they'll be willing to pay $60 to see them in a more personal setting, right?
Kevin Smith certainly thought so, but the fact that Tusk is being distributed traditionally seems to crush that notion. Whether he doesn't have enough fans, or people aren't willing to pay that much for 3 plus hours of entertainment, or Red State was simply the wrong movie to try this out on is a moot point. Smith had and still has support for this model but has chosen not to use it for his latest effort.
This self-distribution concept wasn't a totally new one, but Smith's actions are still significant. Filmmakers might be leery of attempting something like this without the support of a fan-base, but for an unknown director it could be a great way to create and cultivate one. This method also sees money go into and stay in the hands of the filmmakers. That's an appealing concept regardless of the risks or pitfalls. If a filmmaker was able to utilize this method along with a crowd-funded campaign, imagine how successful the entire effort could be.
Smith's experiment could help take away any stigmas that exist around self-distribution. The fact he isn't using the model for his latest work shouldn't be viewed as a sign that it was a failure, merely that the numbers don't make sense for him. His actions could change the way filmmakers of all sizes consider distribution. Or what he did could be viewed as the filmmakers' equivalent of Charlie Sheen's "My Violent Torpedo of Truth: Defeat is Not an Option" Tour, although at least Smith doesn't seem to be nearly as insatiable in terms of his brand or penchant for excess. Then again, maybe he's actually worse in that regard.
Calling his effort a "success" or "failure" is a matter of opinion and perspective, but it isn't what's important. In a world where studios only seem interested in reboots and sequels, you have to give him credit for trying to pioneer a new paradigm, even if it ended up being a paradigm that doesn't work for him.
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ThatKevinSmith: | June, 19, 2014
Hi! It's me: @ThatKevinSmith! Just wanted to pop in to say a) I liked your article, and b) I need to correct your article.
TUSK is not the first flick I've distributed since RED STATE. We used the Red State road show distribution method again (successfully) last year for JAY & SILENT BOB'S SUPER GROOVY CARTOON MOVIE (now on VOD and iTunes). We conducted the tour the same way we did with RED STATE, but at smaller venues (though double the amount of gigs overall). We're doing a few more road dates with the same flick in the UK in two weeks ( http://seesmod.com/overseas/ ).
While the RED STATE road show was successful for SModCo, we figured a micro-budgeted movie using the same model (with 0 dollars spent in marketing) would be WAY more lucrative. So the next time we went out on the road with a flick (SUPER GROOVY CARTOON MOVIE), we were able to get the uncomfortable financial side of the show business equation out of the way even sooner, so we could enjoy all the fun of direct-distributing a flick to the fans. Since SUPER GROOVY cost a mere $69k to produce, we were in profit after the first screening.
As regards TUSK, I got my financing from a company called Demarest. One of the first things they wanted to know before they agreed to finance TUSK was if I was gonna okay with traditional distribution. I told them yes, so long as it was a smart, cost-conscious distributor like A24. So Demarest paired up with A24 and XYZ Films (who sold TUSK abroad) and I had a budget for TUSK.
I love self-distribution. We're planning a SMODCAST: SMOLY BIBLE tour for later next year, where we take out another low-budget cartoon from director Steve Stark. And when Jason Mewes finally directs his first feature, we'll tour that as well. And the next time I make a movie for 2 million or less, I'll tour that first THEN sell it to a distributor - just to mix things up a little. Because if you're gonna call yourself an indie filmmaker, you've gotta try new things to keep shit interesting for yourself, and hence, for the audience.
As for the shit I took around RED STATE… Anybody first through a door is gonna catch a few bullets. Or to put it in a more Rimbaud-y way, to arrive at an unknown, sometimes you gotta make yourself an outcast. Touring RED STATE eventually led to making TUSK. Everything is connected.
Anyway, thanks for thinking of me!
Jeremiah Karpowicz: | June, 21, 2014
Thanks Kevin! Very cool to get some clarification around a few of the items I mentioned, especially your decision about distribution for TUSK.
I personally think self-distribution can be a viable way for filmmakers of all sizes to distribute their films, and the more info we can give them around how it can make sense for them the better. I wish the media had been as loud about JAY & SILENT BOB'S SUPER GROOVY CARTOON MOVIE as they were about RED STATE, but such is life…


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Small Mammals |
BatsIn East Africa, bats are associated with ghosts and devils. Since most bats are nocturnal, they are difficult to see and hence believed to be ghosts. This is especially true of the gregarious cave-dwelling species whose calls are sometimes thought to be the cries of lost souls or demons. Epauletted Fruit Bats are crepuscular and so are quite easy to see at sunrise and sunset. They tend to roost in shady trees, but don't necessarily find dark corners. They can be seen quite easily at Lake Baringo Club and the photos on these pages were taken in daylight just outside the lodge reception area. The Yellow-winged Bat Lavia frons is found in forests and open country and is common in Kenya where it can be seen roosting in Acacia trees. It is quite often active by day (as with the one pictured on this site) and will, if disturbed, fly long distances in broad daylight. In the picture you can see that the bat has its eyes open observing its surroundings. It was slowly revolving on an acacia twig and, at first, it looked like a dead clump of leaves but then it flew out to catch dinner. These bats feed entirely on insects. ShrewsThe White-toothed Shrew is the most common in Africa. They are members the genus Crocidura and there are 103 different species - some of which are so new that they have yet to be named! They have long whiskery noses and live in amongst the vegetation. They eat insects and other invertebrates as well as eating small vertebrates. HyraxThe Rock Hyrax, Heterohyrax brucie, also known as Bruce's Dassie is a small hoofed mammal which lives in colonies among rocks and boulders, sometimes (as in the Lake Baringo region) they live in the basalt cliffs providing Verreaux's Eagle with its main prey. They are mainly vegetarian eating leaves and grass and have a remarkably high tolerance to plant toxins. They will also sometimes eat insects and small lizards. They are adapted to life in dry rocky terrain and can survice for long periods without drinking. SquirrelsThe Unstriped Ground Squirrel, Xerus rutilus, is one of 2 species of Ground Squirrel in Kenya (the other being Geoffroy's Ground Squirrel, Euxerus erythropus). These small mammals use burrows and only rarely climb. They eat vegetation in particular nuts and seeds. They are common in lodge grounds in Samburu. HaresThe Cape Hare, Lepus capensis, is primarily vegetarian but also occasionally eats mice. They include a range of buds, bark, twigs, fruit, fungus and roots in their diet. They have excellent hearing and sense of smell but while they have very large eyes, their eyesight is only moderate for stationary items (it is, however, very good for moving objects). They spend long periods lying flat in their forms which are depressions in the ground, often beneath a bush. They are solitary animals but are not overly territorial and they will tolerate other animals of the same species in their locality. |
Home Animal Index Links Kenya Birds Carnivores Reptiles Antelopes I Antelopes II Primates Small Mammals Large Mammals Invertebrates |


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The Talbot Rice Gallery is the public art gallery of the University of Edinburgh.
An outstanding centre for art and ideas, Talbot Rice Gallery presents original and relevant exhibitions within a unique historical context.
The exhibitions exemplify creativity and ambition, seen through a distinctive programme of Scottish and international artists, with informed interpretation and lively educational events.
For more information on the gallery, and its current and future exhibitions, visit the Talbot Rice Gallery website.
Click an image to view the full size version.
The White Gallery has a changing programme of exhibitions, presenting the work of contemporary Scottish and international artists through solo, retrospective and thematic exhibitions.
The Georgian Gallery's impressive neoclassical interior was originally designed by William Playfair as a natural history museum.
This recently refurbished room now hosts vibrant historic, experimental and academic exhibitions.
The upper level of the gallery displays a selection from the University Torrie Collection; a bequest to the University of predominantly 17th century Dutch paintings and bronzes.
As a university gallery, Talbot Rice has a lively programme of events; lectures, talks, tours, performances and workshops that complement the exhibitions and offer fresh ways to explore visual art.
In addition, the gallery welcomes all groups whatever your interests and background; school parties and visitors with special needs are particularly welcome.
Please contact us to arrange a tailor-made tour that suits you.
Admission is free. The Gallery is open Tuesday to Saturday from 10am to 5pm.
The Gallery is situated within the University in the Old College building on South Bridge.
Enter the Old College Quadrangle from South Bridge and the entrance to the Talbot Rice Gallery is at the far left corner of the quad.
This article was published on Sep 11, 2012


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Christmas Eve disappointment with skids
I have planned a nice Christmas Eve dinner mostly to accomodate my adult skids and their schedule. Every year they have conflicts with other family events on Christmas although usually they eventually make it to our home late Christmas evening. So, this year, I planned the gathering for Christmas Eve instead.
Now, SS29 is saying that his girlfriend is taking the kids out of town to see her family and wants him to go with them. He is saying that he wants to work on Christmas Eve except he doesn't have a job so help me understand. Last years story was that they were all sick but could we come over the next day to bring their presents.
So now that I have planed our gathering, put a deposit down for a catered dinner, bought a mountain of gifts for SS29's kids, none of them are going to show.
As I have shared before, my DS6 has cancer and without being dramatic, this is a particularly special Christmas. DS6 is having having his third surgery tomorrow but is excited about seeing his big brother and nephews on Christmas Eve.
How do I not have hard feelings about this?
I would just try to plan something with them a few days prior to or after Christmas. Many families have to celebrate holidays on different days. Maybe with skids that is the best plan.
And yes I would be mad if plans had been made with them and then they backed out.
I am sorry lamom. I probably would have asked what day would be good for your SS, his girlfriend and kids to come over for Christmas this year. That would have set a date for you and they would not have an excuse if they gave you this date.
I can understand his girlfriend taking the kids out of town because there is so much family and you want to make sure that you see most of the family during Christmas time.
I would have asked him "I didn't know you were working, did you get a new job?" Put him on the spot.
It doesn't work that way, bring presents. You want to get together with family and enjoy each others company. I don't like how they asked you to bring presents to there home.
Do you think it may have something to do with DS6 having cancer and they have a hard time with that? It should not be that way, you should love family no matter what.
Petunia and Mom,
Well, yes, I could have made all of our plans revolve around them. SD35 suggested gathering on New Years Day for them.
Maybe, SS29 does has an aversion to DS6 with cancer. Seems to be. It's irrational but not out of the realm of possibilty.
Anyway, I just asked DH about this and he feels that we should not move our date for them again. He has invited some other relatives and I have invited more friends now. DH surprised me by saying that I would be right to return their gifts. However, I have now dropped off the toys at the fire station for Toys For Tots and DS's surgical nurse is collecting clothes for the needy so will give them to her tomorrow before surgery. SS29 and his babymama's gift cards are now in my wallet. Instead of feeling like a fool, I feel like a philanthropist.
What do I say when they ask for their gift delivery and leftovers LOL?
This may come out wrong Lamom, and please forgive me if it does...
It sounds like you are very angry about the unfairness of life at giving your precious little boy cancer. And rightfully so. It's horrible and unfair. But it also sounds to me like some of your anger might be getting displaced onto SS29, tipping his thoughtlessness and garden-variety selfishness over into the 'unforgivable' category. I suspect SS29 is foreseeing a brittle and tension-filled formal meal at your house instead of the poignant and perfect holiday you may be envisioning.
It sounds like you are trying to build a memory, and I understand that. Keep that perfect memory just for your own little family and don't even let thoughts of SS29 into your head. Treasure what is perfect --
"I suspect SS29 is foreseeing a brittle and tension-filled formal meal at your house instead of the poignant and perfect holiday you may be envisioning."
The meal is catered, not formal. Help yourself, jeans and paper plates. SS29 knows this since the kids,including mine, make a mess and break dishes. I usually cook, not this year since DS6 is having surgery the day before.
I can see SS29 feeling the mood might be heavy because DS6 is sick except, if you didn't know how sick he was you couldn't tell. My DJ friend is loading my IPod with new party music, DH has loaded the bar, we were planning a fun time.
"Why should the children suffer because SS and his gf are not coming?"
Those kids have two real bio grandmas on either side. And DH, their grandfather. I have done stuff for years, let someone else do it.
Maybe my anger about DS6's illness is spilling over in the face of SS29's "garden variety selfishness." Things I've shrugged off in the past don't feel shruggable now.
Lamom..."Things I've shrugged off in the past don't feel shruggable now" It's ok not to shrug everything off..it's ok to feel hurt and slighted and all the feelings you're experiencing now. You're grieving your childs illness, and the loss of your family ideal, and it's ok. SS29 is 29 not 6. He's old enough to know when something is important for the family and for your child. When you try and stuff your anger away or rationalize it away you only hurt yourself. This WILL pass and hopefully your SS will someday have the knowledge that every decision we make impacts not just our life but the lives around us. Try and have a peaceful holiday for your sake and your son...right now, he is all that matters... God Bless you and your family.
I am so sorry for all you and your family are going through. Do whatever you need to do to get through this tough time. Try your best to focus on your DH and little guy. Quit putting any energy into your SS for now. Focus on your little guy. I know he will be sad that his brother is not there for him, but try your best to put it on the backburner and deal with him later. Right now focus on bringing positive energy to your son and making this the best xmas ever for him with or without his brother. Remember, you are responsible for the energy you bring to your son. Think only good thoughts and push the rest away. Open your home and hearts to those that want to be there and well screw the rest they don't know what they are missing. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
LAMOM - Are you really surprised by this turn of events? I'm not after reading your initial post from couple of weeks ago. When it comes to letting SS29 know why you can't deliver the gifts to his family, have his father deal with it and make sure he is honest. There's no need to be rude to him, but you've already given the kids' gifts away and there's really no turning back at this point.
I hope your son's procedure goes well.
"Last years story was that they were all sick but could we come over the next day to bring their presents."
That is beyond tacky,and I would have responded wih,"NO,we dont want to get sick either.You can pick up your gifts when you are feeling better".
Lamom,you are a trooper.It is ok to have hard feelings about this.
Hi lamom, I know you are dealing with a lot of emotions right now, but I think I am a bit puzzled. When I first read this post, I was thinking your post from about 2 wks ago said that you did not want DSS29 there on Christmas Eve anyway. I went back and searched and found these comments by you:
"We are hosting Christmas Eve dinner and I don't want them at my home now. Of course, univiting them would start more bad feelings but I don't care. Or should I suck it up, have them over for Christmas Eve and then distance myself and son after?"
"On Christmas Eve, I am not going to uninvite them but I am also not going to remind them (they are notoriously unreliable on their own) and I am going to plan everything assuming they will not be at our home."
"Our upcoming gathering on Xmas Eve is the finale for me. The skids will come, get a good meal and gifts."
Reading through these posts, it sounds to me like you did not want them there anyway. It sounded to me like the fact that they were going to be there was traumatizing for you, so I would think you would be relieved that they were not coming? Also, didn't you find out 2 wks ago that they weren't coming? At that point, couldn't you have reduced the amount of food that was being catered? (I assume you would still have had the meal catered, since, as I understand it, the reason for the catering was because your son is having surgery the day before--wouldn't that be today?)
I am just trying to understand the situation here. I hope your son's procedure goes well and hope for his sake that you can put aside your bitterness and just enjoy the holiday with those who are there.
I agree that them asking you to schlep their presents to them (and risk getting sick yourself) was rude and wrong. I also agree with the perception that you yourself seem to have a certain amount of hostility towards them. Also agree that a lot of this is probably anger at the world for giving your child a horrible disease while the SK's live healthily. Also agree that they SHOULD be a lot more sensitive and caring towards a sick child. But also agree that from their side it might be too much to bear, for many reasons (ranging from they just don't have the emotional maturity to face such difficult things directly, to they care but have no idea how to express it or are just really nervous about it, to their own anger-at-the-world that their father is now so much more hyper-focused on his child with you than ---perhaps--- he ever wwas with them).
My point is I don't think the dynamic between you all is anyone's fault in particular. It's obviously reached a point where things are difficult and somewhat hostile all around. You're most likely right that there's something more to the SK's rude date-breaking than inevitably bad timing. It is part of a pattern, at least so far, and it may be coincidental or it may not be. But to some extent it's useless to try and trace back a precise "point of origin" for blame... because nobody can turn back time anyway.
The only thing you can do is attempt to alter the present and the future and you can only control and adjust your own actions and responses. Depending on everyone's maturity level, it may be too late to improve relations. But maybe it isn't. In the meantime, though, if I were in your shoes I would definitely cut back my giving (holiday and otherwise) to a level that I can feel comfortable with and would not be unduly angry about having invested myself in should my plans backfire or be rudely rejected (i.e. no more down payments for catered dinners, and maintaining flexibility about the fact that people DO often have many widespread social/family obligations around holiday-time and people DO sometimes get sick and back out of plans). I'd try to maintain a baseline level of politeness and decency (i.e. make sure to at least send a card; don't take back gifts for young children out of spite) just to maintain a personal code of behavior I could respect myself for, but beyond that I'd find other means of trying to improve relations. At a certain point, you're setting yourself up (and others) for failure and disappointment or even orchestrating no-win situations if you keep planning things in the grand and precisely-timed manner it sounds like you prefer. And if that's really what you personally are comfortable with and don't feel like changing it, fine; just make sure you invite other guests so you can still enjoy your own holiday whether SK's deign to show up as promised or not.
Lamom, I'm not going to get into this because I really don't understand the situation and while I can see you are hurting I also see you as being willing to hurt back. So I'll answer your question best I can:
"What do I say when they ask for their gift delivery and leftovers LOL?"
Do as someone else suggested and have them pick up their "gifts", rather than delivering them. Buy a couple of nice cards. In the cards, write "In your honor, I have made a donation of __________ (insert name of gift/type of gift that you originally purchased for them and subsequently gave away) to the local Toys for Tots. Happy Holidays, Dad's name and your name and DS's name"
Give these cards to them as cheerful as you can. Don't mention that you gave the gifts away because they're such jerks. I think, if you picked out their gifts with the slightest thought of them personally they will see that you didn't just buy random kid gifts for the Toys for Tots kids, and that you gave away gifts that they would have liked to have received/were bought with them in mind.
Enjoy your holiday. Remember what it's about, open your heart, and try not go get hurt.
Best wishes to you and your son,
well, I can relate. not a stepfamily issue but its' been three days in a row when we are trying to get together with my brother's family. My DD is here for only two weeks and obviously everyone wants to spend time with her. We were willing to accommodated my brother's family so they get to spend time with DD (they say they want to see her and yet they cannot plan anything). they cancelled two days in a row for a bizzare reason. yes we do get together at my parents tomorrow but my brother keeps saying they want more time with DD. we literally are willing to do it morning, day night any time, just tell us. they keep agreeing to a plan and then cancelling (too long and boring to tell you the reasons, SIL didn't finish shopping for example).
mind you we live on the same street in a walking distance. My DD lives 8 hours flight away. I travel to see her several times a year but she comes here only once a year now, at Christmas time. Next time they'll see her will be next year. I try not to get upset because it is a holiday season and I cannot change it. But i do not understand why is it so difficult to stick to a plan. I only have one sibling and yet we cannot ever have any time wiht him. sad.
My nephew just called that he knows they cancelled again but he wants to stick to a plan and he comes over to our house tonight and wants to play boardgames. I am going to cook soemhting nice now. At least their son is growing to be considered.
just to add...although my brother keeps canceeling on us i am going to give gifts to my niece and nephew, they have nothing to do with it. In fact my nephew is embarrased for his parents behavior. i don't think that when parents are
wrong children should be punished. In fact I do not believe in revenge or grudges. especially when it comes to young children.
you said your DH is not involved grandfather and does not even feel much for gandkids. you clearly do not like SS. I do not blame him for not wanting to come over, what for? But I think it is rude of him to not let you know much ahead of time. It is inconsidered of him to agree and then cancel.
good luck with your son's surgery! I hope he feels better.
mollymcb and silver, Yes, my son's surgery was this morning, I am having dinner on Christmas Eve tomorrow. I did post before that I did not want SS29 to attend our Christmas Eve dinner. I was persuaded here and by people I know who counsel me to rethink that, be the bigger person, invite SS29 and his family anyway and include them. I did that. They are not coming after saying they would come.
I am not hostile because my DS6 is sick and his brother's family is healthy. I am clear, they are MIA with DS6 at an important time and I don't like it. I now see that this is too much for them to handle, SS29 with babymama 30.
Our Christmas Eve dinner is not going to be grandiose because it's catered. It will be very casual and I'm buying the food prepared. I cook every year except this one.
Maybe I should not have given SS29's kids gifts away to charity "out of spite", however, I have and I feel good about it. The gifts went to anonymous people who will hopefully enjoy them without expectations or demands for delivery. My DS had a surgery today and I gave the box of clothing gifts to one of his nurses to donate to her church. She appreciated it and I felt like I was doing something for someone who cares. The toys I chose personally with each kid in mind went to Toys For Tots yesterday.
I have been a SM for 12 years. I was Dad's gf for 2 years before that. I have only been a mom for 6. My relationship with SS29 is a lot longer than with my DS. Doesn't that mean anything to him? Is it all my fault that he and his gf only think of themselves, being dropped off the gravy train now that they are grown? No feeling at all for DS6? What do they expect?
I am glad surgery went well. I hope your son will enjoy Christams dinner wiht his family. But I have hard time agreeing wiht double standard here. you said yourself that your DH does not have grandfatherly feelings for his grandchidlren and is not involved grandfather. you seem to be accepting of that. but you find unacceptable that your SS does not have brotherly feelings and is not involved brother. so one is OK but the other is not? it is a bit of a double standard. If you insist your SS be involved brother, why don't you insist your DH is involved grandpa? I think you should let it go and accept that some relationships are just not that close.
finedreams, Yes, there is a double standard since DH does not have strong grandfatherly feelings towards his grandkids. A lot of that has to do with SS29 not completing his education, not working and so on but still having 2 kids. DH strongly disapproves of SS29's choices. For years tried to get DH to be more accepting of SS29 and his kids, have given up. SS29's lack of attachement to DS6 I believe has to do with what was said here, the age difference, envy of DS6's lifestyle versus his as a child and his children's now, feeling that love DH has for DS6 should be directed toward the grandkids instead.
Postscript on our Christmas Eve, SD35 came with a friend, other relatives and a few friends. DS6, his first cousin and another little friend played Wii and tracked Santa on the Internet. Catered dinner was a BIG HIT and DH and I have decided to do that from now on. A very relaxed evening and nice. My heart softened and I did put together some gifts for SS29's kids. We won't make the trek to deliver their gifts to them but will host them in a Christmas Pt. 2 at our house. If they show up of course.
when i married my husband it was hard for his kids to hit all the parents christmas parties and office get togethers. no matter when we scheduled it someone would want us to change the date. finally i got tired of the situation and just set it for xmas eve and they could come or not. they all came, my parties were more fun. LOL
Glad you found it in your heart to gather something together for SS's family. It was the right thing to do.
I just wanted to make a comment on something that you said which was based on some of our observations to your initial post of a couple of weeks ago. You currently said:
"SS29's lack of attachement to DS6 I believe has to do with what was said here, the age difference, envy of DS6's lifestyle versus his as a child and his children's now, feeling that love DH has for DS6 should be directed toward the grandkids instead."
Maybe your SS doesn't think that the love your DH has for you son should be for his kids only, but in addition to the love he has for your DS. Maybe I am reading more into what you are saying, but it sounds like you DH is indifferent and lacking any affection toward his grandkids. If I'm correct, that's kind of sad. Feel free to correct me.
gerina and kkny,
You are reading too much in to my comments. I never said that DH doesn't care for his grandkids, he does or that he has negative feelings, he does not lack affection but it's not spilling over for his grandkids. Rightly or wrongly DH feels SS should not have had the first, who is a very troubled child, and definitely should not have had the second. SGS2 a really sweet toddler, no terrible twos, a joy. SGS8 has emotional problems, oppositional defiance disorder among them.
The dysfunction is in full effect. Since SS29 doesn't work, hasn't completed his education DH disapproves and then he has two kids to boot. DH has a younger son, my DS6. SS29 was supported by his parents until he was 25, then they agreed to cut him off although BM and DH still give him handouts.
Yes, the dysfunction is in full effect.
Just to add, thinking about this I asked DH this morning if he felt that SS29 is bothered by him not being very involved with the grandkids. His answer no, since SS doesn't work he doesn't need babysitting so much (now that's not true, everyone needs a break), that DS came along needing attention and that SGS8 is such a difficult child that many relatives have backed off their involvement with him. (that is true including BM and SD.) He feels that SS understands this. I'm not so sure...SS might know that these are the reasons but understanding as in feeling good about it, I don't think so.
Gee whiz gang I must sound terrible! yes, I have been angry that SS29 doesn't care a lot about sick DS6 with cancer. But since I am here a lot now I need to set the record straight on some things.
First, I don't dislike SS29, I just don't respect him. I've known him since he was 14 and for a LONG time I did like him a lot. He can be funny and he used to be a sweet teenager. I used to defend him to DH saying that eventually he would grow up. I did a lot of immature things in my teens and early 20s so I believed that. I did finish college, worked and did not have kids since I wasn't married however.
At 14, SS took DH's new car for a late night joyride, sideswiping some cars and had a collision with a truck. Insurance did not cover the car or the damaged truck since unlicensed SS was driving, DH had to pay out of pocket for both. I defended SS because I took my father's car as a teenager with no license, didn't say he was right but that's what teens do. SS barely graduated from high school, was sent home from boot camp unfit for military life (which we had never heard of before), couldn't/wouldn't find a job etc. I was with DH, then my bf when he drove to the bus station to pick up his son who had been kicked out of boot camp. That was one of the few times I have ever seen DH cry from disappointment and shame.
Neither SS and SD attended our wedding or reception. SD claims she was not invited. She was not sent a formal invitation since she was close family but the boycott was really out of loyalty to BM which makes no real sense but is how some skids think.
The big change in my relationship with SS came after his 1st child was born. Then, his immaturity and irresponsibility couldn't be overlooked anymore. No job, no place to live, spending time playing video games. As his son got older and started showing emotional problems that just magnified SS's own issues. I started looking at him differently. He and babymama mooched from his parents and other relative, raised their son in filthy places, didn't take him anywhere which made his emotional problems worse and would not follow through on things done by me and others to help them e.g. job interviews, therapy sessions, strings pulled to get them in to programs.
When my DS was born my focus naturally turned to him. They did not realize until then what a friend they actually had in me before. My attention turned to my DS and most of DH's did too. That's when the problems between SS, then 23, and I really got going. Remember, I've known him since he was 14.
Just so it doesn't sound like I think I'm perfect, two years ago I tried to hire SS to do some handy work which I had done before. I stopped with the handouts and gave him work instead. He didn't show up and I let him have it, calling him no account among other things. I have apologized several times. SS didn't speak to me for 6-8 months. When he, babymama, and SGS were living in motels, I pointed out that the motels were expensive and criticised him for not having done the math on how much they were costing his parents. He told me to butt out since his BM and DH were paying, not me. We argued about his "rights" with his father, my point was that he was 24 at the time and should stand on his own feet. Big mistake for the SM to say these things I know that now. I zip my lip now when the latest thing goes down with SS29, babymama and their two kids. Earlier this year, SS wanted SD35 to take SGS8, then 7, to live with her to give them a break and get him in to therapy. She asked me to set up the therapy and I did. SGS did not move in with her because he could not transfer to her local school but the therapy went forward and he is still doing it. No thanks at all from any of them to me for this. If fact, they act like I was wrong to think their kid needed therapy even though they, the school, child protective services did too. SS wanted to ship out SGS at 7 for a break but wants DH to be a more involved grandpa. Meanwhile he had a 2nd child!
Now my DS is 6 and he loves his big brother and nephews. They don't seem to love him. DS6 is very ill and I look at my SS29 who is MIA on helping his little brother. People here have said the reasons are because of the age difference, DS6's competition with SGS8 and SGS2 and all of the usual skids, 1/2 sibs stuff like DS is only technically a brother in SS29's mind. I believe that now after reading it here.
Maybe I am now an evil SM but I wasn't always that way. When SS was the only kid in town since SD has always been independent things were better, he enjoyed the free ride on the gravy train. When the new crop of children showed up, SGS8, DS6 and SGS2 the big problems began.
Lamom... your hubby's relationship with his children is his issue. Not yours you can't fix it nothing to fix its just the way it is. Good or bad it is what it is. (Theirs)
Step back tell them your plans ... we are having dinner at ____o'clock if they show up they show up if not oh well more leftovers and less cooking you have to do the next couple of days. (bonus)
I understand why you want your SS29 to be involved with your DS6 not just because of the cancer but because you feel like they are brothers and should be there for each other but apparently your SS has a different view of things. I am sure it hurts your son but like many of us we cannot protect them from the adults in their lives who mistreat them we have to accept and help them accept it and move on... no clue how to move on but we do.
I personally would not exclude SGS because of their dad. Do what you want to do for them and nothing more ... if hubby wants to do for them he will or he won't again thats not on you but you might have to "warn him" hey is there something you want me to go get for YOUR GC? or reminding him his GC's birthday is next week... is about all the help I would give.
There is only so much we can do as people to keep forgiving people who continually mistreat us ... whats that old saying 'one burned twice stupid'.
LAmom you poor Poppet!
Stepson "Uncomfortable about his little brothers cancer?"
Pfftt! Yeah right! More like an overgrown child throwing tantrum. Poor widdle child-of-divorce, woe-is-me my-life-stinks-because-my-Mommy-and-Daddy-broke-up 28yo stepson is jealous because your little Fellow is the center of attention. So let him get his panties in a wad all he wants. All that's important is you DH and DS.
Thanks for checking on me. We are waiting for test results from DS6's biopsy surgery last week. He has more chemo this week and begins radiation next week.
He is in good spirits and so are we. It's disappointing to say that he is the only one important. At the end of the evening when SS29 came by with his kids, SGS8 commented "I don't come by here very often" because he misplaced one of his gifts that I promised to get to him. I thought to myself "that's right."
I am praying that you get good results from your son's biopsy. My heart goes out to your family.
Seriously...don't let any of the family drama take your attention and energy away from you and your son. I am normally all about keeping the peace but I think this is really one of those times where you really have to focus on what's best for you and your son. This is one of those situations where what's important is really put into perspective. Yes, it's sad that SS won't or can't have a relationship with his little brother--but it is what it is and you can't change what he does or doesn't do. Love your step-grandchildren and I would continue to reach out to them; but let DH determine his relationship with his adult son. I think in the future---it would be appropriate for you to tell DH "hey, we're having a family dinner" or whatever, and then let HIM be the one to invite his son. Don't let it become your problem--you have enough on your plate.
I love the following quote:
" Always be yourself because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I am praying for you and your family that your son's biopsy comes back with good news.
The most important person right now is your DS. He needs all the love and support he can get right now and that is coming from mom and dad. Your SS29 is very selfish and should be more concerned about DS's health. Your job is loving and being there for DS6. Don't worry about SS29, he is a big boy and one day he will regret how he is treating the family.
My prayers go out to you and your family.
We have been married 10 years, and every Christmas was either a drama, a major disappointment, or both.
So, we found something that really works. We have a family brunch one Saturday in December, and invite everyone from
my husband's family, except ex-wife. We have a nice time, and open presents with the step-kids after everyone else leaves. Then on Christmas eve, we plan something with just my husband and my kids. Either we go to my parents house, or go to the beach for a week. But we are not at home to be disappointed by anyone. It has really taken a lot of pressure off of our family. Everyone is free to go somewhere else for Christmas, and there are no disppointments and no bad behavior. They can't stand you up, if they are not invited for Christmas.
I went back and reread a few of my old posts especially the ones from when I first started to write here.
As I read them now, I feel that if I hadn't lived through all of this with my DH and adult skids, I wouldn't believe it. And as I reflect on all of the other drama that so many of us experience in the stepfamily scenario I really breathe a sigh of relief.
Two Xmas' before I posted the above, I bought Christmas stockings with my skids, stepgrandkids, DH, DS and my names on them. Hung them over the fireplace with stocking stuffers DH and I bought, the whole routine. This past Xmas when I unpacked the decorations I found them. I offered them to DH to give to his brood as they are very nice wool embroidered stockings, too nice to throw away. He tossed them in his trunk saying "That was your thing." The whole togetherness, holidays, Brady Bunch scenario I tried to make happen. He was right, I was the only one who really ever wanted that.
There is a gentleman who is interested in dating me but things are just too fresh right now, and the divorce isn't done. However, the BIGGEST thing by far that is making me look hard before I leap is that he has an 11 year old daughter for whom he has joint custody. He has told me many times he thinks I'm a good mother vs his ex. Oh boy, totally the wrong thing to say!!!


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text: Beyonce Goes GayThursday, August 13, 2009 3:37 AMLast year MediaTakeOut.com told you about a rumor that Beyonce would be starring as a lesbian in an upcoming film and that she'd do a love scene with a woman in that film. At the time, many of you didn't believe us. Well now we've got proof. Is Beyonce cuter than her sister? If you look at the below image – taken from Beyonce's OFFICIAL IMDB page, it shows that Beyonce is scheduled to star in the film Tipping The Velvet – a movie about a lesbian love affair. Find out who Beyonce looks up to! Wanna get an idea of what kinda girl-on-girl action that Bey's gonna be doing??? Well check out this YouTube video – it's a clip from the British TV adaption of the same script!! We can't wait!!! Members of the press ARE REQUIRED to credit MediaTakeOut.com for its ORIGINAL reporting!!! |


text:
Michael Johnson is a gifted young artist who specializes in painting animals. He finds inspiration in the world around him and he frequently paints portraits of pets for their owners. He had an Art Exhibit at Princeton University and Illustrarion job. He also entered the VSArts competition in Grand Rapids.
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