text: Sustiva Dreams Dream Poems by Victor Valmore 1 Dream Poems by Victor Valmore Index Page 4. An Introduction 8. The Morning Stranger 9, Cocaine Chains Dream 10. Room Temperature Ice 11. Long Lost Cousin John 12. Little Monkey Babies 13. Hacienda By The Sea 14. Missing The Flight 15. Mortars in the Basement 16. Paper Banners 17. Soft Mountains 18. Running the Gauntlet 19. Aviary Cum Garden 20. I Went to War in Africa 21. You Looked at My Poems 22. Men Wearing Dresses 23. All Brass Band 24. Climbing the Pole 25. Thin Mustaches 26. Death Row 27. False Accusation 28. The HIV Speech 29. The Rescue Mission 30. Lunch With Julia 31. The Clarinettist 32. Facial Massage 33. Steel Beehives 34. Summer Chalets 35. The Cripple 2 Page 36. The Mural 37. Momma and Poppa Bear 38. Missing the Flight II 39. The Harley-Davidson Store 40. Too-big Treehouse 41. Falling Off The perch 42. Compliments of the Chefs 43. Sizzling Coke 44. Old Larch Trees 45. Cold As Hell 46. Howling Dogs 47. The Buick 48. Glitter Balls 49. Moving the Circus 50. Saved By The Boat 51. Living With You 52. Auto Graveyard 53. Rollicking Soldiers 54. Steeples 55. Retrenched 56. Killer Wave 57. Capetown Manse on the Hill 58. The Blind in the Ruin 59. The Cy(r)cle 60. Time To Go Home 61. What Me Worry 62. Do-gooders in Heaven 63. Assassins 64. Toys For Tots 65. Closing Up Shop 66. Hetero Visit 67. Flying Chocolate 68. Deer Babies 69. Throw Some Glitter 70. Ramada Rocks 3 Page 71. Face Paintings 72. Am I Ever Going Home 73. Kind of a Gas Station 74. Take Me Out to the Ballgame 75. Kiss 76. A Christmas Parlor 77. Lion King 78. Japonniere 79. Frosty Chuckles 80. Red Banquettes 81. Miss Nancy T 82. Scream (Not Howl) 83. Starfuck Lattes 84. Puff Pastry Professor 85. Hong Kong Apartment 86. En Vacances 87. Winter Training 88. Drug Hospital 89. Flight Training 90. The Queen Mother Visits 91. Omar 92. Cathedral Wedding 93. Dark Brown Wainscotting 94. Cocky Careless Jailer 95. The Ladder 96. The Poem 97. A Quick Visit 98. The Building Dream Poems by Victor Valmore 4 Sustiva Dreams An Introduction Sustiva is the brand name given to the anti retro-viral drug Efavirenz by its manufacturer, Bristol-Myers Squibb Company. It is of the class of anti-HIV drugs called non-nucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitors (NNRTI"s). One of the exhortations offered as a disclaimer to users is that it may cause unusual, vivid dreams and drowsiness for extended periods of time, therefore it is recommended to be taken at bedtime; a sort of built-in sleeping pill that operates in the background throughout the night. There are other psychological and physical side effects reported by small percentages of control subjects in clinical trials relating to depression, suicidal tendencies, and rashes, but my experience seems to have been limited mostly to the nighttime somnolent side effects. Very early in my use of this drug as part of a combination therapy, I noticed that indeed I did experience vivid dreams, and I secretly became enamored of them. Aside from the sheer enjoyment, and almost illicit levels of occasionally hallucinogenic (or at least as I imagined) effects, I began to notice parts and fragments of my personality floating in and out of my subconscious. Upon sharing some of the dreams with friends and relatives, it became apparent that these were not ordinary recollections from the day, or deep seated yearnings that we can all recognize from our best dreams, but something slightly magnified and purified of intentional direction or coercion. I rediscovered, for example, some of my early childhood dreams of flying which had left me for many, many years. I met my dead father again after a hiatus of decades and he once again told me why he had gone away (he was working for the CIA and I was to tell no one of his visit to me). Even the sexual encounters that occasionally cropped up had an absence of guilt or self-consciousness normally evident in a good Catholic boy like me. 5 After months and months of remembering snatches and pieces of the night-before goings on in my brain, only to quickly lose the memory in the light of day, I decided to try and find a way to save some of them, for what purpose I did not, nor do I now, know. Once this decision had been made, however, the next step was to devise the best way of recovering the dreams in writing without resorting to impossibly lenghty recollections of details, ambience and meaning. I had neither the time nor the patience to meticulously describe the settings or the sequence of events in the sometimes meandering thought trains. Nor did I feel that my abilities as a story teller or scene describer would necessarily translate into a meaningful view of what actually flew through my brain. Instead I adopted the habit of jotting down the basic outline of the most vivid picture that I remembered from the course of the dream. This could be a mere moment in a cause and effect series of events, the kind that we like to savor as a key when returning to a warm bed and attempting to kick-start the dream that we had to abandon due to some interruption or other. Or it could be a simple summary of the action that flowed through the dream. This jotting down business usually occurs on my way to or from the nightly visit to the bathroom that has become a part of the natural aging process for me. Sometimes I can remember the entire dream from just a few words, and at other times I stare in awe at the scrawled message from the night before and realize that I have no idea what I have written, although it may sound intriguing, mysterious and, yes, sometimes bizarre. I continue to hone my skills and practice capturing the right amount of words to jog my memory enough to make some sense of it. In the beginning, I also began to realize that I needed to find a way to distill or repeat the picture without losing its essence. That is when I decided on two things; all of the dreams would be captured in poetic form, allowing me some license in the distillation process, and all of them would have to fit on a single page, forcing me to honor the commitment of not recreating the entire blessed saga (something which could more appropriately be relegated to short story writing or novelistic 6 expansions, if I ever felt a particular dream had such possibilities). As I began the task of writing a poem from the scribbles I left on the nightstand or on the computer desk going to or from the bathroom, I also made rules for myself. Absolute honesty in the telling was paramount; I do not allow myself the luxury of creating something that did not happen in the dream. One of my mentors once told me that a shortcoming in many of my poems was an unconscious attempt to relate what I felt a reader would like to hear or would expect to hear about a particular topic, what a natural reaction would be, given a set of curcumstances. I have religiously avoided any such derivative bent. Never ever would there be an over-working of the poem. It is written, dated and put into the file. This of course runs against my grain; I want to present to the world an educated mien that has cleverly mined the alliterative and probative possibilities. However, as I discovered early on, the unintended side-effect of punching out short little bursts is a more clearly presented personality devoid of adjustments; what you see is what you get. Many of my dreams defy an actual sequential analysis, presenting instead an impression or representation which I am able to recognize and reproduce. A good example is "The metal we don" in Cocaine Chains Dream becoming "Mourning after Chains" in the final two lines of the poem on page 6. I do not have a clear recollection of where the dream took place topographically but I do know that the imagery of an inescapable imprisonment wrought by uninhibited drug abuse swam mightily into my synapses. Finally, I am ever conscious of falling into the trap of willing a dream to pop into my rem-brace. If I feel that I have in some way influenced the direction or content of the dream, I chuck it out with all the others that I can"t remember anyway. This may seem to be terribly unscientific but what the hell, I"m not a scientist and this is not an experiment to discover the secrets of the universe. It is an exercise in peeling the onion of 7 one single man"s subconscious as prodded by nightly doses of a known chemical prodder. Perhaps it will turn out to be nothing more than a slow painful brain defragging that allows me to purge a lifetime of wandering lost neurological idea bytes that would have remained disjointed and unrecoverable anyway; sort of like scheduling your computer to regenerate during the wee hours of the morning when you won"t be awake and concerned about all the rearranging that needs to be done to keep things running efficiently. Only heaven help the poor paranoid who happens into the room when the computer is cranking away and dumping loads and loads of memories and roadmaps that might be needed some day to prove that he/she really did do what was necessary to save a life and did not do it out of spite or deliberate, intentional ill-will. I will continue to record the defrags until I am either too bored with the whole idea or no longer have the luxury of time to do so. This could be a week or a lifetime. Victor Valmore 03/15/2004 8 The Morning Stranger I am a stranger on that chair With the familiar embroidery I know so well From the fabric loft We hunted down Behind a door where Joe sent us When we moved in together That same chair With the black piping In a room washed in morning light A well-fleshed character Reading a novel Like an afternoon moon Out of a forgotten time Have you ever had a new lover Thrust a hand Just where you want it With a familiarity Not yet earned You accept the gesture As part of a shared humanity Even a stranger Can own I can place This gray haired bearded gentleman As an acquaintance Maybe from childhood In the warm kitchen Where the men played cribbage And smoked cigars Or perhaps the seminar On total quality assurance In Camelback Arizona When he wore navy blue blazers And knotted red ties But right now At this moment I have forgotten who he is Victor Valmore 01/31/04 9 Cocaine Chains Dream Your tongue rolls out Familiar beat poetry I am not able to quote But I understand we Are both friendly with The metal we don Through each snort Of the dregs from the Corners of little plastic Bags Economy in everything Is the watchword When we meet in Rain soaked gutters Clogged with crabgrass I feel your thin tight body Our erections meet Like semi hard Businessman handshakes Sad That we pursue A simultaneous equation Whose solution lies Not in nirvana nips Out of single shot bottles But shot up sinuses With no sense of limits And awareness of Mourning after Chains Victor Valmore 02/06/04 10 Room Temperature Ice Ice which can"t be seen Coats the wooden floor Of a vast room gabled With iron trusses Underneath the glaze Painted stripes define The sporting possibilities Hockey basketball Cheerleading practice Quick peeks at thick thighs In the showers And steamy locker rooms Below I hug the ice to test The slipperyness Discover that indeed It will sustain Double axels triple soucows All the wonderful things The cold version of ice Should maintain Except that it just isn"t right A plastic trumpet with four valves In the hands of a five year old Who knows the brass Is the thing that makes Vibrato squeeze tears From a heart yearning To be milked like a cow Dragging heavy udders In from the hills Victor Valmore 02/08/04 11 Long Lost Cousin John Long lost cousin John You have become impossibly handsome In your maturity It is highly unusual for me To look up into such a face I am so totally aware of your height And even more aware Of your extraordinary kindness This kindness of yours Comes from a proprietary pride In your beauty I am shamlessly welcomingly Allowed to caress the slats Along the sides of your back But stop with the rubbing Well before I embarrass us both O tall kissing cousin Offering the lips to mine In your confidence You allow one of those touching Tender moments you know Anyone in their right mind Especially fawning grateful me Will take to the grave Victor Valmore 02/07/2004 12 Little Monkey Babies This little thing I hold in my hands Is a warm cuddly gorilla guy A baby baboon With a bald head I want to nurture it Love it and make it Want me Like a son"s unquestioning love In the early years of life Before he knows more than Dad And can walk away From love Like leaving the game early To go home and fuck a girl On the velour couch In front of the Carona beer bottle wall Victor Valmore 02/10/04 13 Hacienda By The Sea I live in a hacienda on the shore Where I pretend to be A predictor of the tides Coming in and out Pretend to be a whole lot more But I am really just a loser Thrown into the ebb and flow Of the rocky crags A hacienda on the shore With cantilevered floor Out over the ocean blue Very aesthetically desirable Impractical over the water We"re setting up A performance piece That has already been done Overposturing trite performance Mourning language Morning performance Dive from a platform in the air Into a crowd of people Who don"t know how I do it I flap my arms until I rise Above it all and float Down down down into A formal meeting on the ground Victor Valmore 02/16/04 14 Missing the Flight Rushing again to board an airplane Bound for some familiar but Exotic place All passengers must go through Special security and frisking My shirt my shirt Is taken from me and put through A roller which has ruined it Stuck in the mechanism Like my mother used to have trouble With the bedsheets in the old Whirlpool So I board the plane With just a t-shirt under my jacket And shyly find a seat Where no one will know How I have been stripped By the uncaring workers who Have no respect for the likes of me Victor Valmore 02/21/2004 15 Mortars in the Basement Mortars set up deep In basement bunkers Where the chain of command Works its way through The ranks of men like me Who know only a piece Of the plan A peace of a plan would Be preferred by us As we dutifully repeat The coordinates that are called in From a field out there The timbered roof of our cellar Is dark and dingy And peppered with bent nails That threaten to scrape our scalps We are ready to fire the big guns Through the holes in the ceiling Our existence is perpetual twilight Until that day somewhere in the future When we get to wait for transport home In a quiet cement station Maybe painted white Like the kitchen where Ma bakes Bread and burns the pancakes Victor Valmore 02/24/2004 16 Paper Banners I am caught in a squeeze To taunt authority Or maybe to appease them For the PATRIOT ACT Requires my response My name is printed On paper banners Victor bin Valmore Of course my father would be Valmore bin Albert the Baker From Quebec These flags are meant for many eyes Not just the gestapo Around the corner Am I mocking the very same People I hope to help Shall I change my passport And driver"s license too Apply for a new SSN Go all the way Roman Catholic bin Muslim Abou Ben Adam May his Jewish tribe increase Victor Valmore 02/25/2004 17 Soft Mountains Today we are climbing Upholstered rocks and cliffs With packs on our backs And a mission to accomplish Every now and then It is necessary to check The guide book To find the best way to the top The face of our mountain Is like an ice age bed Of folded over duvets And endless eiderdown quilts What we want is the best view Not the sport of it that most Mountaineers crave Our lives are much simpler than that Victor Valmore 02//26/2004 18 Running the Gauntlet There is nowhere you can Any longer Avoid the eye of the world Two lines of men All in rough clothing Some in leathers Others dressed as mountain men Make one poor soul Run the gauntlet He is beaten by them When someone puts tape Or putty gum or something Over the video lens To hide their iniquity From the man behind The camera obscura We wait until we know We will get away with it Or have the power To avoid punishment Before we commit our Worst sins of deceit Dishonesty and sabotage The human race Means nothing to us As long as there is No punishment forthcoming Even then existence is Not getting caught Victor Valmore 02/29/2004 19 Aviary Cum Garden O God not another gut-wrenching Quest Forays with wooden stock rifles For protection We enter an aviary cum garden Under repair The green growth and old stumps Have been cleared Pathways marked by walls of dried guano chips On end like Rosettes in a leaded glass window Cross in front of us Little guano chip fences separate the field Into anthropologic digs Work areas being prepared for the coming Growing season A sudden elation and dancing amidst the shit Freely and gaily I see you are happy for the joy in me And not at all Displeased with the desecration of the shrine Or the loss of the mission Victor Valmore 03/04/2004 20 I Went to War in Africa I went to war Not with strangers But with men all around me I know from my life in Africa It was very fierce Many commands from the generals To load and shoot Load and shoot the enemy At close range See the bodies explode Behind green fatigues The enemies are comrades Comrades are enemies Everyone is getting hit Except me In the calm afterwards It was the same as ever The blood is gone The bodies are gone My life with my friends in Africa Is gone Victor Valmore 03/07/2004 21 You Looked at My Poems In my twilight dream I showed you my poems Writings of things That have no interest for you To your credit My interpretation discredit You pretended to read them I spelled out the punchlines For example This means I have Lost you forever Or this one means You are a spoiled brat There is pain and sorrow And joy and wonder You only see torture And chastisement As you feign interest Impatient To be going to your Next appointment Victor Valmore 03/09/2004 22 Men Wearing Dresses Brocaded dresses and heavy hairdos Were all the rage on Bob"s Hill You and I wandered Up and down the dangerous slopes In our best finery High heel shoes and padded bras In the midst of college boys Pretending to know what was Going on Or coming off in the case of the Pancake makeup running down Our backs from the sweat We generated in our exertions They don"t know what to do Or why they"re here Or how to wear the finery That you and I know all about These faux devots of androgyne So far away from understanding Anything about anything Victor Valmore 03/10/2004 23 All Brass Band Our all-brass marching band Has stopped along the parade route To allow the drum section A little extra rehearsal time We are not even remotely ready To be seen by the public And yet here we are with horns in hand Moving smartly down the avenue There are tom-toms and kettle drums Snares and tympani on wheels The clatter chatter can be heard From miles and miles away The drums are loud enough To recall the thunder inside my chest When as a young boy I dared to move to the edge of the sidewalk A little further along It is time for the brass to assemble Into a giant block of blaring sound With high piercing notes from the trumpets Pride of belonging to such a clever bunch Moves in all of us like a mother"s smile Spreading up to the stage Where her first born is performing After the parade passes by We join the watchers Loitering in car parks Ready for the long ride home No one says anything About the notes that were flubbed Or the steps that were missed Only that we all did just fine Victor Valmore 03/12/2004 24 Climbing the Pole You"re the one with the knowhow The tools for the job The chutzpah to be up there Waiting for me to climb the pole Behind you Up the rough wooden surface You call down to me Why aren"t you coming I have no hooks On my hands and my feet Unlike a fly on the wall I have no way to keep from Sliding backwards Splinters are under my skin Yet I know you expect Me to endure this discomfort Even as I am no longer On the ascendant Victor Valmore 03/13/2004 25 Thin Mustaches We"re all ready with our Thin line mustaches and Loose fitting clothes That will allow us To do flip-flops And cart wheels In the air Dressed and pressed Like circus performers Ready to film the show Looking in the mirror I may be a little thicker Around the middle Than allowed My hair is more fly-away And bushy-thick Than called for in the part The suave new look So de riguer Has eluded me But I"m still going on the stage Victor Valmore 03/14/2004 26 Death Row There is great sorrow On this death row I am one who has Received the sentence And await only the day One by one The inmates are called Strangely enough There are some who Are regular survivors Those who have Made the necessary plans Put money in the bank Are destined to be Silent observers I cried for two Who did not make it To the executions Succumbing instead To disease or appendicitis At the end of the day We burn the last two Christmas candles On the eaves And mourn my imminent death Victor Valmore 03/15/2004 27 False Accusation A teacher who I respect Has made a terrible error I am being punished For a false accusation Made to write In a marbled cahier I circle the phrases As directed Over and over I am ignored I did not do What you think I don"t Deserve This Punishment Victor Valmore 03/16/2004 28 The HIV Speech I have cuttings From the bridal veil In the garden To propagate in Glass jars on the Kitchen table The alter kockers And old ladies Are having their tea In the parlor Where tables are draped With white cloths You announce that None of this would Happen without me I am brought to tears Preparing for the speech About conditions with HIV Uncle Harry tells the one About the foreign aids To great guffaws Mostly his own The old ladies rue the loss Of warm spring days Soon we will be able To open the windows again Let in the breeze And the fresh air To cleanse the house Of a long and endless winter Victor Valmore 03/18/2004 29 The Rescue Mission I have my flak vest Which can also be used As a parachute While we wait patiently Atop a familiar tall Building Can we test our "chutes Out the window Or should we wait For the arrival of the others To fly to the place We think we will find them I yearn to be on the way To fly the big machines And be the heroes That make the rescue While straps dangle Carelessly like broken bras You know I am competent And this is all just nonsense Give us control To go on patrol With no holds barred We know how to have fun That"s the trouble Isn"t it eh You and me throughout the years We get together now and then Like we never parted And are children again Children again in serious man"s business Victor Valmore 03/17/2004 30 Lunch With Julia Hello mother-in-law Welcome to my dream I notice that when we Drive in the car You toss exhorbitant Large coins At parking attendants And newsboys Rather than pleasing These people You piss them off With your largesse Unwittingly conferring Honorary colonial status On the plight Of their poverty Now to the restaurant In the basement Of a mini-mall Whose walls are panelled In cast-off blond wood Polished clean While rats scurry Off to the corners Why must we sit At such a large round table Near the door We are the only customers Anywhere to be seen Wouldn"t it be More comfortable To spread out in a booth And by the way Have you noticed That this is a gay club On Tuesdays and Friday Evenings Or do you only see That they have the cheapest Tuna salad in town Victor Valmore 03/19/2004 31 The Clarinettist I stood by the window Playing a clarinet Tentatively feeling the valves And chrome finger pads Running along the sides I played it sweetly And then began to hum The tunes flowing out of me With all the tenderness Of an old lover waiting on the porch You were not surprised To hear such sweetness And cried with me As the instrument Flew up and down the scales Now I"m showing off With arpeggios and riffs And little forays Into jazzy renditions That sing quietly from deep inside me Victor Valmore 03/20/2004 32 Facial Massage The leader of our country Is giving field lessons For the proper care Of the human organism It entails not only Good physical training But most impordandly How to self-massage a face You must be aggressive With circular strokes Round the cheekybones On the forehead and jaw One of the remedial actions For a sore face Is a swim under the water Of a stagnant swamp The dirtier and the muddier The betterer for the facial Muscles to become toned And the skin to become pink There is one and only one Prescribed method Which is part of any good soldier"s Daily routine Just follow the instructions Carefully To be accepted in the Highest echelons Victor Valmore 03/17/2004 33 Steel Beehives Glittering Brasilia City in the sky Cluttered with the Flotsam and jetsam Of humanity So many people So many immigrants Forced to live In stainless steel beehives Hung along winding ramps Circling modern towers Of Babel Gigantic anthills Dotting the green landscape Just enough room In the hives For children to sleep Behind bolted doors Little birds captured In dark metal cages Adults on floor mats below A step up for many Who would otherwise Be lost in the jungles Of Laos and Cambodia Or worse The canyons of Hong Kong And the streets of Jahore One understands How we have come To this state Of affairs The only protection From an evil Polluted Terror driven World Where sanctity of life Has no currency Preservation Of same The only goal Victor Valmore 03/22/2004 34 Summer Chalets Millionaire ski chalets In the dead of summer Cast long shadows In dark glens And root-clogged Driveways Strange constructions Of Gaudi-like spires And unfinished gargoyles In raw concrete Seem out of place For any season Yet here in the snow belt These spores of wealth Tossed onto the landscape Like empty food containers Along the interstate Own their legitimacy One has only to add A few feet of packed powder And subtract The summer birds and The hard-won flora To imagine why they are here Victor Valmore 03/25/2004 35 The Cripple I am hobbled by the belief That you will see me struggling Look look I can hardly stand Never mind move forward With two rubber tipped sticks To support my quavering frame If you see me like this Maybe you will believe And leave me alone If you are convinced That I really cannot walk Your gaze will fall elsewhere The power of suggestion Is an amazing thing isn"t it I never took cripple lessons Nor learned from a true hopeless one Yet here I am straining every muscle Just to stay erect what an act How long will I be able to fool you High up on your mahogany dais How long can I hope You will not see the ruse And send me to the other line Where doomed liars shuffle in chains If I scramble over the bodies of dead children Shove past foul-breathed elders Then I might be the afflicted one My soul truly beyond healing No further need to prove myself Who wouldn"t be convinced by such a performance Victor Valmore 03/28/2004 36 The Mural The rich lady has a house so big The lower story has been painted In a huge mural by an honored artist Whose pastoral scene can be enhanced By music of any sort particularly jazz And a few musicians have been chosen Gratis we have assembled in the proscenium A trumpet a clarinet and drums To provide a background for the colorful vista Worthy of Diego Rivera which has unfolded For the partygoers arrayed in armchairs In the great hall facing a framed countryside Colors are sometimes day-glo Other times like tobacco-stained oils Dragged out of the attic after retirement From forty years of duty in the entrance Of a men"s club somewhere in the ratty depths Of nineteenth century London We are wandering minstrels for the rich guests Who are mingling with the artist in the parlor Huzzahs from the poohbahs oohs and aahs From the crowd of merrymakers barely listening To the complicated riffs and drifts of our music As the fantastic painting continues to make itself known Victor Valmore 03/30/2004 37 Momma and Poppa Bear Opulent palace in the mountains More like a California movie mogul"s Idea of a cabin in the redwoods Baby bear comes to visit Very affectionate and does not Want to leave It occurs to all of us at the same moment This cuddly thing has a mother And maybe a poppa too Who will miss him soon We need to find a way out of here Isn"t there a car up in the driveway The problem is the gorgeous pool And the seaside view Which keeps diverting attention From the need to flee Anxiety heightens as each one of us Forgets for a moment the danger Why can"t you focus on this one thing Get yourself out of the pool No time for walking along the sandy shore It isn"t the big bad wolf who"s coming It"s the goddam woolly parents With their teeth and claws and bad breath Victor Valmore 04/02/2004 38 Missing the Flight II The old routine of waiting To be processed for the flight Down a winding back staircase With pink and brown floor tiles Chipped on the edges Where protective aluminum strips Try to contain thousands of footsteps Out to the hangar for last minute Boarding instructions No you can"t go look for your suitcase If it has been missed on this flight It will be on the next one You are lucky to be here where are the others Your friends and coworkers are late Of course they"re late This is the biggest cluster fuck Since Jesus invented little liver pills Or some such mysterious miracle How can you expect anyone to know How to navigate the system When you don"t even know the location of the plane Victor Valmore 04/03/2004 39 The Harley-Davidson Store There is a Harley-Davidson store On the hill in this posh neighborhood Located in the midst of staid old institutions Open to shoppers from all walks of life Embedded inside is a five star restaurant With French-speaking waiters Who have a penchant for fast machines And faster life styles Seated alone at a table in the center of the action Is an elderly gentleman who needs the facilities Asks Gaston in halting words for the WC Venez avec moi mon vieux says the lad Who accompanies him down the hall To a room which obviously has more to it Than a few urinals and graffittied stalls A place where the true meaning of HOG can be found Up on the chromed monster in a fantasy of Rough highway winds blowing over young limbs Before dinner martinis or some other drug at work Drop your drawers old man and bend over Feel the cool garlicky breath of bronzed garcons Ripple through the hairs on your bony buttocks Blowing your anus into a puckered ancient bronze coin Your face flushed with the rushing highway tides Victor Valmore 04/04/2004 40 Too-big Treehouse An overbuilt treehouse Is like an old man"s body Too overloaded with life"s adornments Years of caring and improving Weighted down with impossible demands Sad creaking boughs no longer Supporting over-zealous add-ons and uprights We are in our treetop aerie The beginning of another long summer season With the fat robins and songbirds Shunning upper branches Now denuded from the malnutrition Forced on the poor tired organism By countless nail punctures and cross-ties Weighted down like a jungle porter Destined for a life of hard labor A life foreshortened by the impossible weight Of mindless expansionism The only goal one more season Of joyful independence and crass enjoyment Escape from cares and woes awaiting us down below This nocturnal visitor to my warm dreams An always welcome friend Is telling me I think finally That this is not just a loss of innocence It is that look back normally reserved for the time Closer to death Still peopled by those who enjoyed it with me Those who have grown away like the tree that has finally died We boldly test the poor branches Which shake and shudder with our stomps On the floor in the room Already dangerously tested By years of collecting bits and boards The words quietly repeated at the bedside I don"t think he"s going to last much longer At least we have time to prepare ourselves Victor Valmore 04/05/2004 41 Falling Off The Perch Once the decision is made There is no turning back No reason just now to Go looking for demons Those who would tell you That a fall from grace Is not such a bad thing Are all lying dying neighbors Everyone is doing it It can"t be so bad So why am I sad About losing my place Ah and a hard-won place at that Amazing how easy to give it up Less pain than offering a seat To the crazy old lady on the bus How long now before it starts The resignation surprising Even to a jaded old piece Of antique gold jewlery like me Within moments its in my brain Like it never left me alone I can smell it and taste it Even before I"m wasted The rest of the year Stretches out in front With a mountain to climb Across from the cave-in No thoughts for the work ahead Nothing more than daily bread For his royal highness The lowness chased away for a while Victor Valmore 04/06/2004 42 Compliments of the Chefs The chefs-in-training sent me A wonderful sampler plate Onto which I lowered my hungry face To taste one each of the deep-fried Unidentifiable Asian delicacies We were seated in a cavernous restaurant With rough-hewn crossties And brown slats on a white background Like the faux-Tudor found in abundance On the streets of Scarsdale This food from the chefs was deemed by all To be the best of the Orient A token of affection for the special guest With the understanding that like all things in life What you get is a pale reflection of the real thing Victor Valmore 04/07/2004 43 Sizzling Coke It started out with just a couple of drinks Bosom buddies from another time And another place Now your spouse is watching us warily Maybe even disgustedly As we search the house for a line or two Everyone seems to know so they are hiding it from us Everyone seems to also secretly want us to fall Join them back in the trenches Like the good old days of endless highs I"m insisting to know where it"s kept No more fooling around guys There it is out in plain sight I can see the dregs and powder on the mirror from here Some kind of new container with a cover To stash the stash should an emergency arise While unfolding the thing and drawing the lines The coke becomes all wet and runny and useless Panic is setting in this isn"t fair Not only will I not get my share everyone else is screwed Can"t figure out what"s happening here Why is the sweet bright powder turning to mush Maybe I"m the culprit is it my tears falling gently The first few raindrops sizzling on a summer pavement Victor Valmore 04/08/2004 44 Old Larch Trees The most noticeable of the spring trees Are the denuded larch pines Not yet fulfilling the hopes of a new season Taking shape all around the compound Both of us have agreed it is especially Enjoyable to be here when the master is away We can see what he has never seen The joys and wonder of untouched nature Over near the cabin with the peeling logs We have relieved our bladders Now we can explore all the places We remember from our grammar school days I want to show you the boat dock and the hidden chapel The little rock outcropping in the pond Surrounded by ancient blueberry bushes Dipping their budding leaves into the rippling water But the only things that make an impression on me Are the ghostly gray frames of the naked larches Standing together in a bunch of looming grandfathers All knobbly and bumpy and hungry for lunch The unfortunate name given to these trees Speaks quietly of some kind of illicit behavior Or a crime that is reserved for the hushed tones Of the old crones knitting in the back row of the courtroom Victor Valmore 04/09/2004 45 Cold As Hell I wonder if I will ever be able to say I made a difference be remembered For doing something anything Certainly nothing will happen unless I get out of this place Where there is no recorded history Where we are sent at dark To live through the bitter nightime freeze Now I am awake in an underground hole After sleeping in a special tent chamber Beneath eiderdown quilts Warmed by hidden furnaces Suffered with physical inspections By suspicious doctors Who check our ability to survive In the cold but sunny world above The yellow-dotted line on which we wait For the next available MD To listen to heartbeats and analyze Cold-bloodedness Directs those who pass To a freedom door I want to reach To leave the darkness and the cold Forever Another fear inches its way Through the minds of the waiting sleepers What is it these men and women Who inspect us and make judgements Know about the upper world To which they are sending their selections And why don"t we know Any who have come back to tell us about it Victor Valmore 04/11/2004 46 Howling Dogs A pair of dogs in the yard Refuse to stop howling and misbehaving They have made me so angry I want to string them up with a rope And hang them from the old clothesline trestle Until they learn some manners As if a couple of dumb animals Have any more brains than the person Who would do such a thing to them As if my uncontrolled vicious anger Can imbue them with an understanding Which is not in their nature And would serve no purpose other than to please me Sad to say I don"t even care if they don"t understand I want to hang them anyway Watch them squirm and whimper Make them suffer for having the gall To think that they can just howl and growl Unchallenged and indiscriminately No one said life is fair let alone a dog"s life Victor Valmore 04/12/2004 47 The Buick This shiny new vehicle Right out of the box Carries with it more than Just a ride from here to there It is the manhood emblem Most sought after By executives and pimps To show the world That we mean business It"s time to take the beast To the carwash Where it has never been before Therefore necessary to trim The wide edges with Acetylene torches A circumcision of sorts Into the culture of Bright chrome and metal Where is it written A big car endows masculinity You often see elderly couples He at the wheel she at the heel Even younger country club types Who swagger with the bigness Have we exported this cause For admiration around the world With the rest of our consumer nonsense I am proud to be the owner My hips are looser now that I have it I only wear designer labels When I am the pilot My associates see what I am By what I own The world bows down before me Doors are opened deals are done Even my poor dead mother believes it Victor Valmore 04/14/2004 48 Glitter Balls Mirrored dance hall balls Hanging from the ceiling Of every Elk"s and Moose Lodge Serving generations of wedding parties Fascinating faceted jewels Sometimes allowed to swing freely Cast pinlights to challenge the most Elaborate computer generated lasers What can you report from the last century Or from the last high school prom The mother of the bride Shimmies out of her panties The class brain suffers mightily When her menses decide to erupt In the middle of the most promising Evening of her heretofore lonely tenure Family scars we wish could remain hidden Shine in the light of your mocking glitter Bullies emboldened by the clubby light Slink like nightcrawlers on a wet August lawn Now I am dodging the swinging arc Of a glitter ball run amok Hardly concerned that it will strike me soon I have eyes in the back of my head I know what you are up to there on the ceiling How you have tempted and taunted And ruined the party for so many of us You won"t get me with your promises Oh no I am way ahead of your prismatic magic If I wanted that kind of help in my life I know many other places to get it Your tricks will not work on me Victor Valmore 04/15/2004 49 Moving the Circus Part one is the loading of the entire circus Onto a train at the siding Tents and carriages and arcades In the front cars with the engine Elephants snakes lions and tigers Towards the back Away from harm"s way All done efficiently and safely The plans call for exact fit Of each component So that at the next town The parts can be reassembled at dawn Next comes the R and R For all the crew The young ones have been warned To stay away from the drugs I am drawn to the same bundle of bungalows Surrounded by little sauna pools Lots of nooks and corners Where one can have an illicit snort or two Robert Downey Jr is with us As are a bevy of blonde Heathers And I am the one with the strength To lead the purge of the little glass vials Not really I have saved the dregs At the bottom of one in my side pocket Don"t know yet just where or when But it is in the works We are spread out among the jacuzzis Separated by thin cardboard walls On call for a photo shoot Everyone on best behavior for the cameras The ringmaster makes the rounds Wants to see the contents emptied Proof positive of our purity My little secret kept warm in my palm Victor Valmore 04/19/2004 50 Saved By The Boat Catastrophe arrived on the quay The only way to escape Is by boat on the high seas All are nonchalant about it Having a hearty breakfast Before setting off Our little yacht is anchored In a slip among canals A virtual Venice in the suburbs Once on board it is decided To try and outrun the tsunami Ride it like a surfer on a curl We have beat the storm And are cruising gently In water calm as mother"s arms Sunrise beckons a swim Among a few bobbing dories Our mainsail a butler awaiting orders O the feeling of leaving a warm bed With no cares save finding grace In another day dawning The crimes of battle The shame of survival Forgotten in the rolling wake Victor Valmore 04/20/2004 51 Living With You I take back what I said about living with you It is not like walking through a minefield In some forgotten Serbian village On the edge of hidden mass gravesites Where old women finger their rosary beads Cold sinister winds flip the frayed edges Of kerchiefs made in the last century When colors were brighter fabric not so dear And the fear of losing limbs was everywhere Living with you is sitting on a wooden bridge Warmed by the sunlight of a spring morning Feet dangling over the cold crystals of snowmelt Rushing beneath the graying boards Before the overhead trees have sprouted Their leaves and dappled the scene Lulled once again by unkept promises Followed by the shock of a hand from below That grabs an ankle and won"t let go I take back what I thought about living with you It is not walking too close to the jungle trail Where an enemy waits in ambush For one of those failures of judgement That haunts every step in the woods For years to come and I am forever Startled by an innocent grass snake Drawn to the rocks made bare By generations of gentle footfalls Living with you is being on vacation On the way to another exotic destination The swimming cozzies folded neatly Among the few warm weather clothes Stored in the checked luggage in the hold Ray-bans and SPF15 in the carry-on Dreaming of sand when the announcement comes All passports will be collected by the masked gunman Moving roughly up the aisle Living with you is one of those dreams you forgot to finish Upon awakening gray characters run away hide refuse To give up the narrative lost in mid-stutter That uncomfortable land born of trying too hard Expectant gazes rob the thought train at gunpoint A piss that wants to be but for the audience watching Dreams lost like memories through a slotted spoon Living with you is as unendurable as life itself Why would anyone want to do such a thing Victor Valmore 04/21/2004 52 Auto Graveyard Modern art so-called by those of us Who are not aficionados Is sometimes difficult to understand and appreciate The process itself being of great importance As is the context and the germination Do not despair if it is not your cup of tea There are degreed minions who know more than you and me An automobile park amidst a grove Of thin-leafed trees Presenting their own dappleness Has an installation of partial cars And trucks truncated by hacksaws Cut like butchers" meat Childrens" toys stuck in the hills of a sandy beach What a wonderful trick on the unwary parkers Thrown into confusion By the appearance of a motor graveyard Actually the joke is on the artist No one particularly cares Interested only in squeezing into the precious few spaces Between leprositic sedans So much of our busy lives Being overburdened by hidden cameras And reality bites in the ass It is positively liberating to ignore the absurdity Of two thousand pounds of steel and plastic Pushing its way into the tarmac Embedded like war journalists in Iraq Without a second thought to the possibility That the time effort and money Used to satiate the artistic palate of one egocentric aesthete Could have fed a family of eighteen or so For a year or so Could have buried a few hundred genocide victims in a mass grave I park my car in the last available slot and slowly walk away Victor Valmore 04/26/2004 53 Rollicking Soldiers Rows of soldiers meet and overrun each other Time and time again yours on that side mine on this We accept the only outcome Never win the war just fight to the death Is this what we want for our people To clash and regroup clash and regroup Until soldiers lie down and the sun also no longer rises Stop before the generals call the next charge There are ancient traditions at work Prescribing the honorable sacrifice Untouchable ways as holy as a genuflect in the aisle And as unimportant as a cotillion bow tie Get down from your minarets and your altars And your high-minded pulpits Leave those holy rites and mouldy mountain ledges That blind us with black rags of self deception Or is this what we want To accept it as passively as a daily commute So that it can be over and done with We can say that we defended our own Victor Valmore 04/28/2004 54 Steeples Remember the days when everyone walked And everyone knew Val at the store This was a bustling city to the children If you needed to be somewhere You took out the bicycle and pedaled across town To places that were as foreign as the tomb of Ozymandias Now there are cars in every driveway Plastic toys dot the yards once reserved for spring bulbs The barn where the rag man Fed oats to his horse Now houses a gleaming red Corvette With a roof that comes off in good weather The three churches are mostly empty On Sunday mornings Well-trained patiently-tolerated altar boys Have been replaced by older men And women with short clipped hairdos The altars a hive of competitive devotion The nearer to the gound the closer to God Age removes what an inch or two in height We can bury the shrinking elders who have lost their way But what do we do with the cavernous hulks Of the graying churches too expensive to heat in winter And emptied of supplicating summer sweat Victor Valmore 04/30/2004 55 Retrenched It doesn"t mean they gave me a new raincoat Although the weather for quite some time after Was rather wet and melancholy Nor does it mean the yard received Brand new asparagus beds to match The furrows that appeared on my forehead It rained in my heart like it rained on the town My jokes became louder hale and heartier While the silence in my soul Scarcely responded to God"s little joys Scattered about the springtime paths Like the jack-in-the-pulpit that tried to speak to me Answering a lack of morality is certainly a challenge When that same catechism wrote my way Among the flashy cars and three bedroom homes That hosted cocktail parties for other worshippers Sucking olives from the bottom of the good glasses Counting hits to a portfolio not yet under siege What can be done with this rage that seethes And boils with echoes of eyes that look away Seeing the fear that they could be next Does little to help refute the depth of the betrayal This is not a detour it is a dead end street You either suck the gas pipe or get a new religion Victor Valmore 05/06/2004 56 Killer Wave Waiting on the shore Waiting for the tsunami Knowing that there is no escape Knowing how it feels to die Finding peace in the swirl of water Finding myself miraculously alive Thinking about the close call Thinking that I should be dead Remembering those who didn"t make it Remembering that you were not here Wishing that you were Wishing I could be mourning you instead Victor Valmore 05/08/2004 57 Capetown Manse on the Hill Our search for the best lot On which to build a new home Has brought us to this precarious corner On the edge of an embankment overlooking the town It is perfect for the view Certainly no one could imagine Another building popping up to hide the scene Of western ocean horizon on the brush-covered hillside apron There is room for the pool A garage for lawn mowers and several cars Maybe servants" quarters out back behind the rise Beyond the wrought iron fence keeping the masses at bay The age old question Whether to have the view or be the view Carries no weight in the deliberations at hand Stake the territory like squatters with a little gold in the pan What sense is there to consider Whether there is happiness to be found In the establishment of an exciting new homestead When all the value is in the hardscrabble ground on the hill Better still with a fevered brow Look at the swarms along the avenues below Searching for the same investment opportunity If we let go and walk away this chance is gone forever So let us stop right here and now Start the digging and the defacement Build on this spot that we have found today Stay in place unhappy if need be until value comes to pay Victor Valmore 05/09/2004 58 The Blind in the Ruin We knew we were living dangerously In a treehouse hidden in an abandoned grove But as long as we remembered There is safety in numbers The enemy seemed not to be there It was when I left you alone Among green sighing boughs To follow the others to safety on the hill I heard singsongy sounds crawling along the path Rebels approaching from the rear I carried away a moss-covered relic A pouncing rabbit on a door-stop wedge I believed to be an ancient talisman or at least A valuable artifact that needed to be with me Shoved down into my pocket for safekeeping First concern was that you had no pillow Or place to lay your head in the moonlight Then the fear that I would not be back Before you met the embodiment of those voices Menacing the peace of ancient ropy jungle ruins Hesitation put me in a crouch in the bushes Fingered the mossy surface of the stone Kept me quiet encircled by my arms As I waited for the black pyjamas to pass and Turned away from you and the house in the tree Victor Valmore 05/11/2004 59 The Cy(r)cle A dry run of the script reveals Those years of plodding through the process Who wrote this piece and why is it felt A reconstruction will in any way Contribute more than artfully using up the time Read the directions it calls for supemarket trips Shopping among familar aisles Placing items carefully for two reasons One so as not to crush and ruin the freshness Secondly to economize on (c)artspace Why so you don"t look like a consuming pig Or because an ordered life is a life worth living All hidden away behind the real purpose Careful handling of comestibles lining them up Like soldiers guarding the almost forgotten traumas This so-called process of reliving the thing Is it better than the processing of cheese Or canned meat soaked in its own self-indulgent juices One thing is sure you have done this before And absent (un)lucky events will do it again So the director says go and the cameras roll Try to stay in the frame and move slowly But not so slowly you lose the momentum That has to be regained by another body blow Complaceny once again overtaken by events bigger than you Do the dairy aisle while there is still room for the milk Fresh fish is last so you don"t gag on the stink Or the ice cream that might melt before it reaches the freezer Pile up this hard-won knowledge that has no school If you lose your place go back to page thirteen Where your notes remind you why this is done You"re not going to starve nor will you become famous But at least you have a way of remembering Where things are and why they are needed If for no other reason than to use up the time Cut cut cut try it again folks This time remember to think about how awful it was As if this building has a way to make me forget This is not your analyst"s couch on an upper floor It is just another trip to the grocery store Victor Valmore 05/18/2004 60 Time To Go Home Who"s driving Where"s the dog I guess the party"s over Everyone seems to be collecting things What day is it What time is it Do I live here and do I have a coat I think I lost track of myself again I seem to recall the dog was floating in the pool Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part I do know one thing for sure That tall guy with the satin pants maybe needs my help Did I embarrass myself If not do I have another chance to do so Can we go back and let me fondle you near the bonfire God I hope we didn"t burn too much of the furniture Who"s house did you say this was Who are all these people covered with scented powder Old white guys wearing blond bimbos Bitches from bilumic hell clutching oversized Gucci bags Sometimes the best part of the party Is saying goodbye at the door Knowing that you will never see them again Stealing little favors wrapped in crepe for your next dream Victor Valmore 05/26/2004 61 What Me Worry Each dog has been trained To stay on the path Ahead of his horse To lead it Riotously through the woods Once in a while One of the canines Loses his follower And finds himself leading The wrong horse down the wrong trail Our lives crisscross As our mentors borrow the lead From conflicting directions Sometimes we know where we"re headed And sometimes we don"t When the dog slobbers along Mindless to the loyalty His followers blindly display No one really notices or really cares Because the hunt is still on The new path and the new dog Are no different than the ones before Lucky for us that the more intelligent riders Know when to sound the shrill whistle To get them back on track However it really makes no difference To the dog or the horse The only one affected by all the careful attention Could gain just as much back home by the fire Thinking about staying the course Victor Valmore 05/28/2004 62 Do-gooders in Heaven It was a rough night What with the neighbors Letting out their ferret-dogs To poop and piss in the dooryard And our earstwhile caregivers Showing us how to live With our diseases Treat me like a child Tell me that I shouldn"t worry About the little sausage creatures Spreading dirt and germs After all its outdoors isn"t it They"re tiny little turds too We have done tests On your viral load and T-cells The good news is your architecture"s fine In fact we are all very proud of you You probably won"t die within the week We expect you however to decline That extra piece of pie And less of the animal fat in your diet Would be nice for your rotundity A delicate balance in all things Is what we"re aiming for here Health for the entire organism Funny the way you have associated Certain physical traits With my health and well-being Like wearing my heart on my sleeve As a measure of aortic performance Shoulder hunching a sign of imposture Can"t I just be left alone With my despicable devices Let me be what my body wills me to be While you and your Florence Nightingales Run errands for the doctors ensuite Who in truth only want your pink lace panties Victor Valmore 05/30/2004 63 Assassins All through the stomach heaving night Assassins come and assassins go Waiting in long dark corridors For the passage of a target No one is certain who is marked As plans change faster than doomed hours Falling into the abyss of yesterday Now it is him and all are in agreement Then another head carries a greater price Assassinness itself gains importance over the deed Actual executions live in gauzy shrouds Whose trained whiteness wrap themselves In a rapid succession of practiced movements Knives across throats silenced barrels at the brain stem Wires twisted into slim aluminum canisters Acid down a gullett nightmare sleeper holds This is the excrescence flowing in the gutters Leading to those who have used me badly Victor Valmore 06/02/2004 64 Toys For Tots Children learn to check for signs of approval Before becoming attached to a new toy If parents show too much interest too early It is taken as unbridled encouragement And therefore the thing is probably boring Better to wait for signals that convey discomfort If not outright horror and dismay Then the toy probably has the right amount of sadism The child may safely identify in an unwanted way Create an attachment that mocks parental discretion Thus we have set the scene for a relationship Where the outward goals of both parties Are subverted by the inner goals of the souls Finely crafted by each others" experiences Such that individuality is born of subversion Kids, what"s the matter with kids today Don"t they know it"s for their own good Under analysis parents admit to fierce pride In having spawned such independent creatures While in public they loudly reject the toy Victor Valmore 06/10/2004 65 Closing Up Shop The old grocer Mr. Percy Is closing his store After a lifetime of running the slicer And throwing fresh sawdust On the floor at sunrise When the meat truck parked in the alley To load big silver carcass hooks in the walk-in cooler People are willing to pay top dollar For those hard-to-find items The pickled lamb"s tongues and pig"s feet Which provided incredulous stories For children who dared to peek Into the jars lined up on the shelves While Mrs. Percy wrapped the meat in waxed paper and string Over in the corner along the rough board wall You can find the flypaper that spirals Out of greasy thumbtacks trapping insects As old as those frozen in chunks of amber Dug out of a Sonoran desert dune And the black pug-nosed dog on a dusty rug Braided by a Mohawk on a lost trail up in the mountains After the floor is swept one last time Where will they go these fixtures of my youth and dreams Off to visit distant relatives in a house on wheels Or to a quiet place with shuffleboards and pinochle decks Who will warm these brown walls grown accustomed To their smiles and patience and a piece of penny candy For the long walk back home Victor Valmore 06/13/2004 66 Hetero Visit I dream a dream A dreamer should have I yearn for desires A sometime lover should feel To the teak wood door With shiny brass hinges I ring the bell for you Waiting somewhere inside Will you be in a satin robe Draped upon a velveteen chaise Or in the kitchen A ringlet of hair fallen out of place in the steam What will you expect of me In the way of performance I think you don"t really care all that much The idea of a man visiting will work the magic Visiting you alone in your loneliness Don"t answer the ring Let me wander the vast house To find your beating heart and rapid breaths Victor Valmore 06/15/2004 67 Flying Chocolate Anger accompanied me to the market Where I fed the beast with the idea Of a single chocolate egg creme From the aisle where the overweight And overwrought commit their worst crimes Having enough of the crowded store I head for the checkout to pay my fine And meet that decision point of which line Provides the quickest exit From the anxiety now at fever pitch I choose first the woman counting pennies Not from heaven but a hell deep inside me So to the next cash register where bawling baby And sulky assistant manager Throw annoyed glances at mother pushing the cart Are there no sane people afoot in this place I spy an open spot several lanes to the left Sprint with my chocolate softening inside the foil Just in time to have the plastic tab shoved in my face Sorry closed please go to another line I was angry when I entered I am angrier now This is not subject to negotiation or management Like lava seeking its outlet beneath earth"s crust The only remedy is to pour forth the venom Let everyone know how out of control I am Here"s your fucking chocolate flying flying To the plate glass window behind the matrons Waiting for hubby to bring the car round It hits with a thud and plops to the floor All gooey and wet I storm out the door Victor Valmore 06/17/2004 68 Deer Babies Walking along the shady side Of a familiar pasture Taking a short cut to avoid being late I notice several baby deer Scattered along the grassy path Some are looking at me with concern Most are sound asleep They seem to be both newborns Carelessly covered in slimy placentas And some curiously quiet adolescents It is not a problem but a joy To wander among these forest babies Until they become so thickly settled I fear I will step on one or another Maintaining a precarious balance These are not healthy specimens Rotting innards spilling onto green verge All messed up in an atomic accident That I have just now realized Has probably taken their parents in the hills Why have they collected here Perhaps to die together As they were taught to frolic With one another and now know no better Than to mass in death Victor Valmore 06/19/2004 69 Throw Some Glitter What is it about glam-glitter That makes us all wake up and take notice An otherwise normal person Or should we say any passable person Radiates enviable accoutrements Like a stick figure woman on a catwalk Becoming something else altogether No longer in the altogether world Of naked nothingness Throw some glitter at a parade of strangers Imagine them wearing little particles home To a partner who loudly admonishes Secretly admires the chutzpah Takes ownership in the boldness of life Which otherwise would remain in a dull realm Daring only to dream of exotic fruit Forever out of reach unattainable as that outfit Of luminescent green silk in a glossy magazine Transcend those pleas to accessorize accessorize With the light of promise beyond the duties In the office where your boss will say What the hell is that in your teeth She"s too cowed by the boldness to expect an answer Satisfied instead to be a part of the sophistication By dint of just noticing the sparkle Repeated in your curls or perhaps a stray comet Trailing lightly at the back of a hem Victor Valmore 06/30/2004 70 Ramada Rocks It was a nightmare of a dream Staying at a Ramada Inn first floor room Overlooking a grassy backyard In the middle of Singapore Up in the higher floors Accessed through sticky gummy elevators Were the dealers who provided us With rocks broken into shards and powder We seemed to have more than enough stems To go around And melted the crumbs nicely With plastic cigarette lighters The thrill of watching white particles Liquidize and seep into the copper mesh The excitement at the moment of ignition Drove nostagia to its breaking point We could have sex all night In the steamy heat of the close room Tie up our genitals into excited nosegays And run porn flicks non-stop on the borrowed VCR The knowledge that I would do it in a minute Was hardly assuaged by the self-imposed promise To consider the sobering light of the next day I would do it if it was real And take the consequences just to have it One more time like in the dream It wasn"t a real dream I was semi-conscious Knowing I would do it again Victor Valmore 07/03/2004 71 Face Paintings Last night I painted the faces of my two sons In an iconic language that spoke to them And to others in quiet prescribed tones Based on the use of powdered yellow sometimes Mixed with waxy stripes of blue and black The runic symbolism was not mysterious Only very difficult to understand and to obtain Just the right mix of colors shapes and textures Interestingly there is no self-consicousness Involved with the touching and rubbing of the pastes Nor any objection to the layering of the colors Only respectful patience awaiting the outcome Do we need a mirror to test the effectiveness No only the reflections in our trusting faces Tell the tales of wizards and their followers outwitting Self-deluded megalomaniacs who are no match For the cleverness of father-son secret protected codes Victor Valmore 07/05/2004 72 Am I Ever Going Home? Do the powers that be know I am scheduled to rotate out in two weeks The question always being am I going home Or am I just getting out of here saving my life Up on the hill in the abandoned housing projects There are soldiers hiding in the bushes A sharpshooter could get a bead on one And pop him unawares at the risk of stirring up a hornets nest Why rock the boat when you are so short Let"s just sit back and chill out for the evening I"ll play some tunes on my horn while rifles are being cleaned And cohorts are trying not to look my way with envy The same old song plays over and over in my head Something happened and I never really came back I"m stuck in this time warp neo-reality third dimension thingee My clever brain carries on non-existent salvage operations A new life clean and clear of the never ending hyper terror Circuits so impossibly overloaded you don"t realize You are in the same combat hole for all eternity Your new reality the latest existential best-seller How can I be so wrong I pinch my flesh and feel it pinkening Sleep my sleep and feel it dreaming Make my plans and see them failing Victor Valmore 07/14/2004 73 Kind of a Gas Station What kind of a gas station is this Where Gigantic US coins are cut out In the shapes of the bald eagle and Miss Liberty Presidents and other icons of America Then the metal pieces are put into a box From which you must choose a piece As your passport to the gas pumps I have a few of the ungainly cut-outs And wonder if this is a reflection of the confusion Of things foreign or a universal bureaucratic Interpretation of Kafkaesque proportions Where the only solution is to bend to the rules Follow instructions to the letter And hope that you will be able to get gassed up With a full tank and a full heart I wait patiently on line To pay the bill that can only be generated By the coin segment and a personal review With the manager at the checkout booth Why am I always the last to figure things out Why do I always seem to wait longer than anyone else To get from here to there Victor Valmore 07/24/2004 74 Take Me Out to the Ballgame In the big stadium with little brother Chuck To learn all about the game of baseball I lose interest early on and acquire a thirst That can only be satisfied with a nice tall cool one Looking through the hordes lined up for beer I encounter a laughing troop of townies And realize with a certain dismay I hear some unkind words like queer and gay The universal sign I have seen the quickest queens Toss back like a hot coal or a warm turd Pat on the butt firm to the touch Hand to the lips the kiss blown nicely with a wave It floats through the air on a cloud of bravado Followed by a sashay okay and a wiggle of the hips The crowd has been cowed nothing to say To fight with the same weapons would never do A little bit of a grumble from the dim-witted ones The majority opinion is they have been finessed In another time or another day It would have been nice job faggott now go away This time around a pat on the back Tip of the plastic cups spilling lite beer A cheer from the stands a clear indication That more important things are at hand Victor Valmore 07/25/2004 75 Kiss It was a real surprise for me to see That you were interested in more than my mind The idea that flashed through both of us at the same time Was a nice thing to have happen to our burgeoning friendship What was particularly interesting to me Was the new-found idea based on my earlier theory Sex is nothing more than a spiritual communication device Man-made for the purpose of finding a piece of God in another There was no need to try and explain Your supplicating eyes told me all I needed to know I looked down long lonely roads into goldened temples And once again visited sweet incense and hushed adoration Why does this feel so right to me now In the autumn of my years and the dead of night Because I have religiously lived this life as proselytized Unashamed uninhibited unrepentant and as of late unresolved Thanks for the visit and the kiss That was and is the moment most anticipated All of the rest can either be great or merely tolerated That first warm brush of lips upon lips was always my favorite Victor Valmore 07/27/2004 76 A Christmas Parlor Family Christmas parties are different things For different people So many of us coming from so many places For so many reasons I for instance worry about getting there in the snow And being properly dressed for show See the little flags marking the way And shoe cloths for buffing old leather brogues Expect a big crowd with the usual impossibility Of gaining attention during the opening of gifts I see my name on a package That smacks of some kind of health food Oh well what to expect from well-meaning Unimaginative gift givers maybe I can manage Not to appear too smarmy in the midst of my appreciation A good puppy accepting overworked bones The ribbon-candy balsam fir smell of the tree And low lights surrounding a creche softened With last summer"s golden hay pulled from the loft of a barn Conspire to bring back those holidays that had no end The ones without reminders of the guys overseas No passing of the tape cassette for a message to be sent APO with the fruitcake in the tin cookies tied with red bows A sigh and a wink and too much to drink Victor Valmore 08/01/2004 77 Lion King It is going to be an outdoor performance And in spite of my terror to be onstage All eyes and ears focused on my every word This won"t be so bad because of the COSTUMES Rich pelts of fur on hinged wooden limbs Dozens of seamstresses tailors and dressers Swarming the verge with pincushions Threaded needles wielded like auto mechanics At the Indy 500 I"m curiously if not dangerously nonchalant About my lines thinking if all else fails I can pull some strings prod a stick or two Flail about like the fool that I am for getting Myself into this mess The proscenium is the falsehood of all falsehoods Held up in the back by flying buttresses That look like they will fail at the first sign of a stiff breeze Adding to the temporal tinge of the performance It makes me giddy with delight At the sheer bravado of the thing Now and then a prompter walks by with open book Asking for the next line a response of some sort At least an acknowledgement that vocals are expected I am happy just to pull some strings Watch the arms flap the legs kick It takes two to tango with the banjo on my knee I am having the time of my life learning the ropes So to speak don"t bother me with details Like the lines the Lion speaks Victor Valmore 08/02/2004 78 Japonniere Japan was in the air Little ceramic single-cup tea pots Detachable milk cruets To make them more European My friend Carol was shopping for Mom Proudly hefting a little tray of shiny baubles Too unsubtle for this kind of fare Look to the shelf of earthenware instead Down in the arcade where you can grab a bite Boiling kettles of miso noodles Special lines for the special events A fund-raiser of sorts to help I don"t know who Some of the food is priced At the level of small boats or automobiles Such is the esteem placed on the dishes I think as much for the tastefulness as the taste To say the air was rarified Would be too unsubtle as well There are socialites who wouldn"t be caught dead Down in the shop trenches with us But we"re happy just to be Sophisticated and educated and full of culture The hand-made objets d"art getting us there Faster than years of eating raw dead fish at steel counters Victor Valmore 08/05/2004 79 Frosty Chuckles A walk in a snowy forest When the temperature is body level In sneakers that stay on top of the crust And sweet honeydew parked on your upper lip Glistens like diamond chips in a high school friendship ring It is late spring when robins are playful One of them darts in an upward spiral of laughter As I pass stealthily away while pretending to steal His worm from the little tuft of wet leaves peeking at me Below the snowline on a well-trod path through lacy hemlocks I feel so light and carefree I run and jump like a twelve year-old Before learning why boys shouldn"t frolic Through the snowy woods in water-logged shoes Shouldn"t be so happy just to soak up some sun on the run Where am I going with this dream Why has it visited me now in my misery and pain Can it be a reminder that not all is lost not all is in vain There are ample opportunities for feeling nature"s love again Ample opportunities to have the sun on my face and in my heart Victor Valmore 08/17/2004 80 Red Banquettes Plush tufted red velvet carriages Await me in the circular drive They are here to carry me to my funeral As I feel myself greatly weakened and frail I"m dying of AIDS it is in the final few days I have agreed to see a priest one Father L"Africain Only because it will aid the finality Of my life here on earth Only because it is expected By those few who have gathered to see me off Ecstasy oh ecstasy take me away I can hardly wait for that final moment Will it be like I dreamed in my dream The one I always try to recover The one that ends the world"s unrelenting effort There is comfort we cannot know Only guess at the warmth coursing through Veins battered blue by too many thoughtless slights The ones that play over and over across blisters Scabs and finally scars I carry the memory of this dream Into the day like a wave that has kissed the sand And rolled back into the calm surf Knowing full well there will be another one To follow when the tides change again Another lover to ride across the horizon Spot me on the beach Glide into my life for the time it takes To forget how little we care for the solemn end That will carry us to the red plush carriages Victor Valmore 08/28/2004 81 Miss Nancy T I dreamt of your new digs taking shape Near fancy brick walls erected by the gas company To hide the functionality that interferes with form An important consideration for anyone like you With your let-me-be-the-hostess mind The white galleries yet sterile and mostly unadorned Have been constucted with minimalist care That gives umbrage to those who can never embrace Your need to reflect the purity of space The rightness of each studied placement There are oil paintings scattered about Like little memories collected in your life portfolios Belonging to the early blue period perhaps When as a child you did not yet meet the expectations Of a world so big so big so big A portrait of you with pre-teen doo-wop bangs Thick layers of rough textured oils in faded sepia tones Has given verisimilitude where it is unnecessary Because your impish twinkle cannot be buried In some bold attempt at haute conceptual retro sub-genre Put you in a boring shredded burlap sack wrap With Gold Medal medallions from a cigar box Found in the back of Paige"s store What more do you need to show us all that style Is so far embedded it shines into the fabric of your life Lucky are we the ones who visit your galleries In our dreams Lucky are we the ones who taste the flavors From your kitchen Lucky are we the ones allowed to love you Victor Valmore 09/04/2004 Dedicated to my dear friend Nancy Thomas who will always invade my dreams 82 Scream (Not Howl) Sometimes I hear a man"s voice screaming Somewhere in the building Sometimes he is pleading make it stop it hurts so much This voice echoes in hallways I never see Yet I know they are there because the echoes somehow find me Going about the business at hand Today conducting classes with big paper flip charts I hear that voice again and look about to see If anyone else will comment on the terror echoing all around Apparently not I can"t wait to escape this screaming What is the nature of the torture Spawning such heart-rending passionate pleas Perhaps we are dealing with a medical malfunction A brain-eating earwig enters my head With the chilling idea the voice belongs to me How can this be that I really hear it in the hall Make it stop oh make it stop it hurts so much There it is again You can"t tell me I have so little control over my own senses I can"t discern an echo in the hall from a stab in my heart Victor Valmore 09/04/2004 83 Starfuck Lattes We are trading info about unique experiences around town I am alone giving advice to fawning upwardly mobile couples This restaurant is a must that rock pool in the glen a find There is only such on the agenda find your last day on earth What about those women who have children out of wedlock Unashamed and unabashed they cuddle little bundles Of joy they are not immune to caring they are well prepared Having given themselves already on the holy altar of love This is not just shopping in the mall having a ball at the market There are no bundles without the price no experience too dear In my heart I beg not to be left out in the lonely hoary forest Let me help you find that smidgen of meaning in running shoes I adore the swoosh and the smoosh and the starfuck latte How can we put all of this into an edible cone Scrape enough from the sidewalk to fill plastic warriors With the emblems of our lives the true meaning of our existence Follow me into town around the square I will show you there Are better things than you can find in your feeble mind Dvd vcr cdc msg fda rfq msrp all you can eat just heat it up Serve it to me with an open zipper directly into my brain Scoop it shoot it slice it dice it move it with your lacrosse stick Nothing does it better than neutron microwave soul busters This is really good for the cold and flu seasons too No need to worry about ill effects whafuck we"re talking about dying anyway Victor Valmore 09/17/2004 84 Starfuck Lattes We are trading info about unique experiences around town I am alone giving advice to fawning upwardly mobile couples This restaurant is a must that rock pool in the glen a find There is only such on the agenda find your last day on earth What about those women who have children out of wedlock Unashamed and unabashed they cuddle little bundles Of joy they are not immune to caring they are well prepared Having given themselves already on the holy altar of love This is not just shopping in the mall having a ball at the market There are no bundles without the price no experience too dear In my heart I beg not to be left out in the lonely hoary forest Let me help you find that smidgen of meaning in running shoes I adore the swoosh and the smoosh and the starfuck latte How can we put all of this into an edible cone Scrape enough from the sidewalk to fill plastic warriors With the emblems of our lives the true meaning of our existence Follow me into town around the square I will show you there Are better things than you can find in your feeble mind Dvd vcr cdc msg fda rfq msrp all you can eat just heat it up Serve it to me with an open zipper directly into my brain Scoop it shoot it slice it dice it move it with your lacrosse stick Nothing does it better than neutron microwave soul busters This is really good for the cold and flu seasons too No need to worry about ill effects whafuck we"re talking about dying anyway Victor Valmore 09/17/2004 85 Hong Kong Apartment I always imagined an apartment in Hong Kong On the island with uncharacteristic calmness In the waters of the straits separating us from the mainland An apartment high up in the building On a floor with a number old enough to collect social security And acres and acres of pastel colored polished marble In the halls the foyer the vast living room Plate glass windows framing the sails of bobbing junks Hydrofoils heading for Macao Container ships laden with the treasures of the East Passenger jets trimming the tops of housing estates Close enough to see family diners clacking chopsticks Beyond laundry drying on cement balconies Touched by silver wingtips on their way in and out My building is overseen by a gnarly chinese gentleman Dressed in British yoeman"s livery He knows me and my Isreali friend Eyal Rimmon That hale fellow who never ages and always has a mission Though no urgency to identify with any particular endeavor Always on like a nightlite guarding a dark staircase There is no objection when the suggestion is made That we swim the channel for an adventure on Nathan Road Let"s go see the tourists and the millions of milling workers Hustling their lives away among the cement canyons A quick swim dodging the boats alighting at the ferry terminal Dinner in a five star hotel the Peninsula or the Regent perhaps Just remember if this wasn"t a dream you would die From exposure to toxic chemicals churning in the harbor Victor Valmore 09/25/2004 86 En Vacances On vacation in some undisclosed coastal locus All middle-aged men naked like me We climb the surrounding craggy rocks In search of the perfect secluded beach All of us have surf boards or other equipment Tucked protectively under our arms Curiously we are not focused on penises But are truly un-self-conscious to other eyes And more curiously we all wear the same espadrilles Covered in black turquoise and purple wire And baseball caps worn the way they are meant to be worn Protective visors shading our faces from sunny blame Up the rock face over the crest a view unfolds Aquamarine pools beckon from afar More an ideal of the mind than actual places A quest by an army of like-mindedness This is not a commentary on lack of originality It is the recognition of how well we have learned To like the same things or at least to bask in them Without having someone say how uncool you are Victor Valmore 10/11/2004 87 Winter Training Good baseball players Practice twelve months a year During the winter months There are automatic pitchers Lobbing balls at my brother Chuck To be hit out into the frozen pastures The sports complex Where we keep ourselves in shape For the coming season Has heavy bales of dried hay Hugging buildings with warm jackets They look like wartime sandbags And where do I fit into this picture More interested in dining details Sleeping arrangements Logistics of running the camp Than in the honing of particular skills That will only be needed after the thaw Victor Valmore 10/19/2004 88 Drug Hospital This is a place where chromed wheelchairs Do Bette Midler pirouetees up and down the halls While dealers roam freely in green scrubs With pockets full of dream potions Everyone is on something I manage to keep my own little blue pills The ones with the smiley faces There is finally universal health care So no funds exchange hands No embarrassment at having to promise Payment tomorrow for removal of sorrow today Give me give me give me my oxycontininent A world of suffering shoved offshore It"s a hell of a way to sail into the sunset Victor Valmore 10/24/2004 89 Flight Training We move our lunch into the exhaust flames Of the jet engines A Mongolian barbecue for the licking flames Awaiting flight qualification Me and Hillary Rodham Clinton herself Are going to practice take off and landing She wants to be able to do a Dubyah On the aircraft carrier I guess Me I just want to be able to fly when I feel like it Finally we"re strapped in and ready The plane is flung through a tunnel Like a giant pea shooter to the stars Our admirable pilot assures us all the way I"ll do everything you just relax and enjoy the ride There is a great thrill in the rapid descent Weightlessness is everything I expected Like the first time I had real sex Everyone okay so far Now we"re going into the trickier manoeuvers Landing gear down ready to drop I don"t want this dream to stop Victor Valmore 11/01/2004 90 The Queen Mother Visits When do our dreams stop giving us our daily dose Of hope and promise When do our eyes fail to read the silver mantle Worn by trees on the hill It happens when our memory is stilted by life Call it greed It also happens when the poison of hatred Fills in the well of desire Those little drops of purest salty liquid That roll onto your lashes and your woolen coat Spring not from the joyful bowels of years ago From the little child who actually liked the snow They are only the world"s homeless memories Forced out onto the street by the unfriendly cold wind Of selfish indifference Last night the queen mother was here For a solemn occasion a funeral I believe She attended the services with a female relative Her daughter perhaps or a distant cousin They were both borne on the single shoulders Of sturdy yoemen enlisted and trained for this very purpose Royalty so sure of their place Riding on the backs of others" pain and sorrow It has always been like this And will probably always be We can only carve out our own understanding And adopt our own arrogant place In the midst of the sorrow the pity that is not real And the little boy who never knew any of this The little one who visits so sporadically and so infrequently Victor Valmore 11/05/2004 91 Omar In the old abandoned movie house Where they still play oldies but goodies For those of us who discriminate You are the king of the hill Undisputed master of all that is cool We rely on you to help us make sense Of the vacuous vacancies in our lives To bring a sense of event a cause to rouse Ourselves from stuporous somnolence In sober month after sober month The path is cleared by the scythe Of your wisdom a wisdom that pours From the corners of your mouth like Honey from little paper cells Who else would know how to order A leg of lamb from the lady dispensing Hot buttered popcorn A frozen gam plunked down On the counter with the jujubes Chocolate coated old wooden cased marvel Of a showcase and you the king of all this Unwavering in your command of our tattered lives A self-assured model behind your fears In spite of your bulk you dance in thrall A ballerina of the truth to life we might have lost But for the appearance of your kindness In our pas de deux dada give me strength To make it through just one more day Victor Valmore 02/21/2005 92 Cathedral Wedding You wanted it to be better than Mom"s I guess The wedding I mean had to be bigger So off to the immensity of the Middle Ages Even though you are Jewish We congregate before the ceremony Awaiting the arrival of the bride and groom Among brocaded tapestries and velveteen kneelers The cavernous ceilings high as heaven imagined above Your little spawn with the blond hair How did she get that you"re both dark semitic Has her little porta-potty behind the bishop"s chair Proudly displays yellow piss sloshing in the plastic bowl How to tell her about appropriateness There is none in this family The purpose of the wedding not to tie a knot But to tie a favorable impression on the attendees Ah here comes the cleric a kindly sort of man Immune to the dismissiveness of his clients Knowing too that it is the pompous ceremony that matters Not the vows and the bows to God in heaven above The lord works in stange ways and we need to pay the rent So what if the congregants are rowdy as a matinee performance These two obviously hate each other As well as the world around them Why else do they smarm and whine But to prove to the assembly their true intent To better their elders in all that they can And do it with just the right measure of careless elan Victor Valmore 05/07/05 93 Dark Brown Wainscotting Dark brown wainscotting Built high up the wall Either the room is just immense Or I am not so tall still a small little boy Honeyed with age the wall not me Familiar with stogied card games Canned goods stacked in the corners For the day the world will end Once there was lemon oil Cloths too good for the rag man Who comes by on Tuesdays Unfortunate nag pulling his high-piled cart Now the nicks and dents A smooth patina of a thousand meetings Belt buckles boot buckles bare knuckles Screams from all ages Perfume out of an old drainage bottle Faint traces of collisions with lollipops Discarded ribbon candy And overstayed balsam Christmas trees Dark brown wainscotting You wrap your beveled arms around me Like a coffin ready for the ground Somehow its better than an old shirt I like this visit to the old room Or maybe the old porch swept clean With a broom from the kitchen closet It smells of good days that never sin and never end Victor Valmore 11/24/05 94 Cocky Careless Jailer We"re all in this prison see Captured saracens or some other doomsters I"m the one who had to piss you off Jailer with issues from a battered childhood Take your best shot at me Wow we can"t believe it when you enter the cell Take a sledgehammer to the concrete ledge Below the window the proof That I am not to be trusted Look what this whacko has done now punish him The unfairness of it all wells from a place Deep deep down sans windows doors or means of egress I guess that"s where the idea comes from Can"t stop my chains tight around your beefy neck The bruising not enough I take the hammer to your head as well Yeah there"ll be hell to pay for sure But so what anything"s better than starving to death In a stinking rotten lair next to the animal pens Clacking claws on the rusty bars give me the idea Your body thrown to the lions who can"t wait To chew on your limbs An arm a leg flesh given up to savegely hungry beasts All the evidence needed to get me off the hook The devil jailer gone my place of exalted ruler Cemented at once in the cold dungeon of our misery No one would dare to give me up That is if there was even any reason to doubt Universal celebration for intestines festooned across the cage Guts of cruelty too late to save the body From now on I will starve in the greatest dignity Cocky careless jailer got too close to the animal cage Victor Valmore 12/04/05 95 The Ladder I was already up the top Waiting on you to haul some tools Or materials we were to use For a repair a patch a gutter cleaning Watching you ascend my heart warmed To the memory of your saviour nature Always the one to do the duty No matter the cost to you The exchange was made with a quick move A loving shovel full of duty The ladder listing precariously From the extreme height of the enterprise One of those moments of clarity I recalled Ma saying she was too tired to go on Just leave me and tell the others It"s time for me to let go there"s nothing you can do No not the same this time I want to help I don"t agree Desparately disbelieved that it could happen Impossibly long laterals bending between the rungs Such a climb should not have been attempted But oh what dismissal resignation acceptance As the long wooden arms carried you outward Like some horrible uncooked spaghetti waving you away To wobble weakly just beyond my grasp Then gravity took charge as we sort of knew it would Down down you were to go into a certain death No hope of redemption in youthful adventure this time Our eyes locked briefly from the wrong end of a telescope My horror was to awaken Not knowing why you visited me thus You never blamed never could True brothers never do Victor Valmore 10/26/06 96 The Poem I was meant to read a poem For a class To test my extemporaneous Skills Ostensibly and sensibly a poem I had never seen To everyones"s surprise I knew it by heart I knew it in other languages The words said Without subtlety and ironically How the rain The heavy pelting rain Washed away All of the badness and the evil Of our relationship Oh the wind the heavy hurricane wind Broke the ragged edges Of our hatred and the awful things We did to each other Finally the storm washed away the love That once lived there Landed sanded flotsam and jetsam Of a failed relationship Victor Valmore 02/05/06 97 A Quick Visit Omar is clean and sober Getting ready to cook for the party We"re both in it up in some treehouse office Where tables need cleaning and dishes need washing Together we see in each other The potential for taking a drink and a walk Down that road with the "sophisticated" guests Where darkness holds court and tomorrow never intrudes And Toddsky makes an appearance With you-know-who on the way back to SA Just a long enough stopover in the US to disseminate Ill-advised schemes and faulty rationalities of life without parole Victor Valmore 03/23, 2007 98 The Building Some things in life you wonder if they are dreams Or just a reality morphed into memories that grow Until they are as big as the building I visited last night I was the tour guide for some friends who were visiting For the very first time and didn"t know what to see A structure so large we met vehicles roaming grassy knolls In the cloud cover and a rusting beacon of wire mesh On a towering toothpick of steel dangerously close to heaven This vertiginous place has the rats of Taipei The smog of Shanghai and the mold of Mumbai In the waking twilight I am not sure if I have been here before I remember the distinct thrill of vertigo the distance To the ground so vast and the milling crowds In every crevasse and shopping center of the complex Buzzing buzzing buzzing and foreign as the country we"re in Victor Valmore 03/25/07 There are no more Sustiva Dreams as the medication has failed me and I have changed to a new cocktail I have lost a dear friend


text:
Center Theatre
In the 1949 Film Daily Yearbook, (before TV and white flight decimated downtown theatres) there were four movie theatres listed on Main Street, the 500-seat Rex Theatre (106 Main), the 880-seat New Theatre (112 Main), the 330-seat Roxy Theatre (205 Main) and the 900-seat Royal Theatre (407 Main). At some point since then, The Royal was renamed the Center Theatre. Though obviously closed, like almost everything else on Main Street, supposedly the property is being held by a speculator with the hopes that the area will experience a rebirth similar to the Rivermarket district just up the street. The Art Moderne building was placed on the National Register of Historic Places in 2003 (#03000422).
Millions are to be grabbed out here and your only competition is idiots. (Herman J. Mankiewicz on Hollywood, 1926)

subset: commoncrawl


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OTTAWA — A major shakeup is in the offing amid the senior ranks of the Canadian military, one that appears to give the new chief of defence staff an open field to implement the Harper government's long-planned defence reforms.
The country's deputy top commander, Vice-Admiral Bruce Donaldson, will retire in the coming months, along with the heads of the army and navy.
An internal notice posted late Tuesday at National Defence headquarters announced the changes, which come as the military struggles to deal with pending budget cuts and a massive internal reorganization.
Donaldson will be replaced as vice chief of defence staff by Lt.-Gen. Guy Thibault, a career army officer who recently served in Washington.
The commander of the Canadian Army — Lt.-Gen. Peter Devlin, a veteran of Afghanistan — is also leaving, to be replaced by Lt.-Gen. J.M.M. Hainse, who currently serves as deputy commander of NATO's joint force command in Naples.
Hainse will be replaced overseas by Maj.-Gen. Jon Vance, the country's most experienced battlefield commander in Kandahar.
Vice-Admiral Paul Maddison, who only assumed command of the navy in July 2011, also announced his retirement and will be replaced by Rear Admiral Mark Norman.
The changes of command, to be staggered over the next few months, follow the departure last fall of longtime chief of defence staff, retired general Walt Natynczyk, and the former commander of the air force, retired lieutenant-general Andre DesChamp.
The latest changes mean that within the space of a few months the entire senior leadership of the military will have changed, said Douglas Bland, a defence analyst at Queen's University, in Kingston.
"I think a lot of people — myself and others on the outside — expected many of these officers were going to guide the Forces through the post-Afghan period," said Bland, the chair of the university's defence management studies program.
Significant among the changes is the retirement of Maj.-Gen. Al Howard, who has been in charge of the defence renewal team. He'll be replaced by Rear Admiral Andrew Smith, the current chief of military personnel.
Bland said some officers were due to retire, but the clearing of the deck is significant at this point because some of those departing were apparently unhappy with the Harper government's transformation plans, as articulated in a report almost two years ago by another retired officer, former lieutenant-general Andrew Leslie.
It also comes ahead of what is expected to be a tough federal budget for the military.
"We'll see the disappearance of those people who resisted the transformations, that were reportedly well received in the prime minister's office," Bland said.
Leslie's watershed review of the military recommended drastic cuts to a bloated system of headquarters, private contractors, and the reserves.
While the report apparently won rave reviews with Harper and his chief of staff, it got a frosty reception from the defence establishment, which is interested in preserving the gains made during the Afghan war.
The resistance culminated last June in the leaking of a letter from Prime Minister Stephen Harper to Defence Minister Peter MacKay which complained that initial defence cuts did not go deep enough on the administrative side.
The message was reinforced last fall when Harper spoke at the change of command that saw Gen. Tom Lawson take over as chief of defence staff.
"The forces will also be subject to the same pressures that the uncertainties of the global economy have imposed across our government and around the world," Harper said.
"In order to free up resources to carry out work on the ground, administrative expenses have to be reduced."
The Canadian Press
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