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The Annekenstein Monster
Honest, Eminent, Keen Rants
Friday, September 19
Cameron's Annekenstein Sketch
Friday, July 4
Out Of Guilt, I Suppose
Friday, February 7
Nun's Leggings, Cowboy Chaps, Donkey Cock, and Sperm
At the beginning of a run, especially during dress rehearsal, you are positive that at least one of your quick-changes cannot possibly be done - there simply isn't enough time to make that change. Rather than alter the running order or rewrite something to give you the necessary time, you simply have to find a way to make it work. You figure it out. "If I already wear my nun's leggings underneath my cowboy denims and chaps, then that'll save a few seconds" - that sort of thing. And by the end of the run of shows, usually, you are so adept at making those seemingly-impossible changes that you probably fit a pee break in there too.
After performing 7 years in Annekenstein sketch shows and 7 years in Sketch-22 sketch shows, I have a pretty good grasp of what is possible and not possible when it comes to quick-changes. In the last few years, I've taken to writing up a list - explaining out exactly how my costume changes need to happen, and where my various costume pieces and my props are supposed to be back stage.
I just found the list I used for the latest sketch show I was involved in, A Very Sketch Christmas. There were a few very quick changes for me (for all of us), but all were manageable. In the second act, in order to make it work, I had to wear pajama pants under a heavy pair of donkey leggings underneath a shepherd's robe. It got pretty warm up in there.
Anyway, I get a kick out of a couple of items on this list and so that's the main reason for this post.
Thursday, January 30
WhateverMan and Wilson
One of those things I do not know a lot about is Comics.
When I was young, I read the Archie comics, some war comics (Sgt. Somethingorother?), and the odd Weird Tales comic here and there. I never had a collection, nor wanted one, and I was never one to wait eagerly, impatiently, excitedly, for the next issue of WhateverMan to come out. Comics were a casual part of my childhood, and when my childhood ran its course, so too, did my desire to read them.
I think I am a month too old (really, though: years too old) to have been part of the PEI resurgence of the Comic Book as art form or literature (or was it simply a surgence?) in, I'm guessing, the late-'80s, early-'90s. Could have been earlier, could have been later, I'm not good with dates.
So, when friends who were younger than me, or contemporary-aged friends who were hipper than me, began to read comics and graphic novels, I was aware but not interested. As the popularity, and culture-significance of this Comic Book World grew, I remained ignorant. And, at times, as it is with my personality, willfully-ignorant.
I read The Watchmen series sometime around 1990, probably. I enjoyed it. I am, and have been, aware of, and have read, a scant few other series and publications since then, but am woefully ignorant. When I am in the proximity of conversations about comic books, I generally zone out, due to my immense lack of knowledge of the topic(s) at hand.
All that to say: I am not in my comfort zone when I walk into a comic book shop.
I have a friend, Dylan Miller, who owns a comic book shop: Lightning Bolt Comics I've always felt the desire to support him and his small-business enterprise (and feel guilty for not doing so), but a couple of things have kept me from doing so.
The first is (was) the fact that for so long, I was consumed by credit card debt. The first 20 years of my adult life, credit card debt owned me. A number of years ago, my wife and I decided to eradicate that debt from our lives, and so we went on a serious spending freeze. Not that we were spending much on what I'll call frivolous things, but we put a halt on practically all non-essential purchasing, and put all our money towards paying off the debt. And finally, a year or two ago, we succeeded. We are debt-free.
However, one of the side-effects of such a purchase-purge, is that now I am very much the type of person who hardly spends any money. Like, I spend practically nothing. I find it difficult to justify spending money on new underwear, that type of level of miserliness. I have become a living example of the Scottish SkinFlint cliche.
The second thing is, when I go into Dylan's store, I feel a bit (a lot) like an illiterate in a library. Imposter!! Looking at the items offered is a bit like looking at things that don't make sense in my world. It's all a jumble of "I have no idea what I'm looking at, or for", and it's a bit overwhelming and uncomforting. This, I realize and admit, is a problem of mine. I should be "who fucking cares", but I'm not.
So, for a long time, I wasn't purchasing anything, and Dylan's store was one of the many that didn't see support from me. Yet, now I am beginning to see a light, and, with a bit of a pleasant balance showing in our bank accounts, I am tentatively putting my toe in the Superfluous Purchase Waters.
I made the decision to buy something! This may seem like a minor thing to you and your lifestyle, but to me it was a bit more epic. Furthermore, I decided that the first place I'd go is to Lightning Bolt and support my fellow Popalopalot. Trouble is, I didn't know what I wanted, didn't know how to go about finding out what I might want.
Then I hit upon an idea: why not ask an expert what I might enjoy. Dylan knows me a little (I'm a hard fellow for anyone to know, I know), definitely knows his stuff, and it might be a fun little adventure. So I asked Dylan to pick out something from his store, around $30 (I know, big spender right!), that he thinks I might like, and I'd buy it, no questions asked. Dabbling my toe in the water, you know.
Dylan agreed.
And this is what Dylan picked out for me. This is what I bought.
I had seen the movie Ghost World, based on Daniel Clowes comic, but had to be reminded of the connection.
So, I read it and really liked it.
Yeah, that's a long way to go just to say "I bought a book".
Friday, January 10
The Cat, The Bird, and The Owl (Who Thought She Was A Bear)
"It totally goes against what I expect from myself, but what the hey!" she said, and started on her way.
By the time she made her way to the outskirts of town, it was almost dawn.
At the town limits sign, the lady cat was observed by a bird who was sitting on a telephone pole.
"Now this," said the bird, "goes totally against what is ingrained in my psyche, but I think I'm gonna go talk to that cat." The bird flew down and landed in front of the cat, who was momentarily stopped to clean her face.
"Do I need to be afraid of you?" asked the bird.
"Not unless you plan on doing me harm," replied the cat.
Mutually deciding all was good, the two took the rest of the day getting to know each other, as they wandered beyond the town and into the woods. After hearing about the cat's previous cozy living arrangements, the bird stated he couldn't understand why she would ever give up such comforts.
"Comfort doesn't equate to interesting," she answered.
The two spent the next few days exploring the world together. They came upon a beautiful lake, and decided to rest there for a while.
"I'd flown over this lake a couple of times," said the bird, "on my down down south or back from down south, but I never thought to stop here. It's really quite lovely!"
The cat didn't understand the concept of "down south" but didn't let on, and just nodded in agreement about the loveliness of the lake.
The bird decided a fun thing to do would be to pick up stones in his beak - as big as he could carry - and then fly over the lake and drop them. He loved to watch the stones splash and break the calmness of the lake water. While he was doing this, the cat was attempting to catch fish by the lakeside, but just wasn't fast enough.
"It's your middle-class upbringing," said the bird, landing beside the cat. "You can't catch a fish because you never needed to catch a fish."
"Maybe we could catch a fish together," suggested the cat. "You pick up the biggest stone you can, hover over the side of the lake, here where it's shallow, and when you see a fish drop the stone on the deeper side of the lake. The surprise will force the fish to swim closer to the shore, and I'll be there waiting to pounce."
"Sounds like a plan!"
It took them several attempts, and even more hours, to accomplish their task, but finally, the plan worked perfectly. They caught a fish and sat themselves down to enjoy the spoils of their efforts.
"This is the best meal I ever had", said the cat.
"Because you caught it yourself. That's why. Maybe, for the first time ever in your life, you earned it. That's why it tastes so good."
"Well, I did have help!"
"We do make a pretty good team! Who'd have thunk a bird and a cat could work together to achieve such greatness!"
As they continued to feast on the fresh fish - the fish they caught together - they began to make plans on other ways they could work together to make their lives infinitely better and full of purpose. They got very excited about the prospect of finding a barn somewhere, because such a barn would no doubt be filled with mice and rats, for the cat, and also grains and bugs, which better suited the bird.
So engrossed were they in their discussion that they had let their guards down to the environment around them.
Suddenly, an owl who thought she was a bear, swooped down on the pair and with the expertise and speed and conviction of the wild animal she was, killed the bird and the cat, even before they knew what was happening.
"Because that's what bears do," said the owl.
Thursday, January 9
Further To My Corpsing Post
This must've been rattling around up there, even though I'd not heard it for probably years and years. Great song, awesome band.
Wednesday, January 8
Anatomy of a Corpse on Stage
A Very Sketchy Christmas - December 2013 at The Guild |
(to Brodie) 'Sides, serves you right for breaking up with Destiny anyways. (to Dougie) Every year he breaks up with Destiny right before Chritsmas so he don't have to get her a gift. Then, coincidence of coincidunces, he hops back on her, right after Balemtimes Day. Smart thinkin', that one!
Trina, Tami & Brodie on the couch |
I'd said it, more or less like that, every performance thus far, in the run. This particular night was our last show, and maybe I was feeling a bit more loosey-goosey than normal. Maybe I wasn't concentrating enough. Or was concentrating too hard. I don't know. But I do know that it ended up being one of the bigger instances of on stage corpsing that I fell victim to.
"Corpsing", for those who may not know, is a theater term for laughing on stage when one is not supposed to be laughing. It comes from the notion that a person who is playing dead, a corpse, should not be laughing, and, thus, when does laugh, is corpsing.
I'll attempt to take us through this particular event, as it happened, kind of as a play-by-play recap. The words in bold are words I spoke out loud; the words in italics are thoughts I remember thinking as it was happening - my interior dialogue; and (parenthetical words) are my thoughts now, as I write this.
So, everything was going along quite well. Nice big crowd, everyone enjoying the show so far. This particular scene happens fairly early in the show, so everyone's energy is pretty high. I come to my line, totally not expecting what was to come:
'Sides, serves you right for breaking up with Destiny anyway.
(there is a small pause here - a blip - where normally there is not. I assume it is imperceptible to perhaps everyone but me - the pause would be timed in nano-seconds, so small was it, then it hits me:)
Huh, it seems I've forgotten what I am supposed to say next. That hasn't happened to me in forever. When was the last time that happened - never mind, that, let's get back to the matter at hand. ...breaking up with Destiny... hmmm? What's next? Nope, nothing's coming to me. I've truly and totally forgotten everything about these lines. Well, this won't do, it's still my turn to speak. I need to say something.
(this initial pool of thoughts probably lasted no more than one second, so everyone probably still assumed everything was as it should be)
Can't believe I forgot my lines! When does that happen? More importantly, what do I say now? Destiny. Funny name, that. What do I say? Okay, breathe. Think. You are totally in control right now. No, those lines are not going to come back to me, so I have to take other steps. I need to say something. Come on, improv training, kick in and get us back on track. What shall I say? Just start speaking, Rob, it'll be great. That's when you're at your best. At least it'll be something. Just start a sound and see what follows it. Okay, I don't know what this will be, coming out my mouth right now, but I need to speak right now, so here goes, let's see what I'm coming up with.
...Aaaakki akki akki...
(I am experiencing the classic "time slows down" feeling at this point - everything seems to be moving in slow motion, except my thoughts, which are racing)
Akki akki akki? What the hell is that? Akki akki akki. Fuck, seriously! Ha ha, that's awesome! Nobody could have predicted that!! Akki akki akki!!! I just said "Akki akki akki"! People probably think I just lost my mind. That's really funny. That makes NO sense. That makes me want to laugh. Uh oh, I think I'm going to laugh. When was the last time you laughed on stage like you're about to, Rob? Ed Rashed, goatee, third year of Annekenstein? Yep, I'm definitely going to laugh. And why not? Akki akki akki is a totally ridiculous thing to have said. If ever such nonsense deserved laughter, that is it.
(at this point I start to laugh, and it is probably only now that anyone else recognizes something unusual is happening - the following thoughts come to me through my laughter)
They all see me laughing. Do they even know? Do people think "Akki akki akki" is part of the script? I bet some do. That would be a crazy script, if it was. Who would ever write that into that script at that point in the dialogue? Wow, I'm laughing pretty hard. It's really horrible, and yet really fun. Laughing is fun. May be, but don't indulge yourself. Gotta stop. Did I just really say "Akki akki akki"? Was it "Akki akki akki"? Look at Lennie. He's really close to me, leaning forward, waiting for me to finish my line. He's doing really well, not laughing. Look at him, not laughing, while you are laughing uncontrollably. I love how much I'm laughing. I love even more, maybe, how much Lennie is not laughing. How can he not laugh. Good for him. Good for Lennie. Can't see Josh. Wonder if he's laughing. Is Kelly laughing. I'm letting Kelly down. Okay, let's get back to business here. Stop laughing. This scene won't continue until you finish your lines. Holy shit, this scene won't continue until I finish my lines! Balemtimes!! Balemtimes is the last word I need to say. Once I get to Balemtimes this wonderful nightmare will be over. Do I want it to be over? I'm really enjoying this moment. Alright, enough is enough. Oh, I remember my lines! Alright, let's get them out.
...Every year he breaks...
Nope, can't do it. Just noise through laughter. Just gonna have to ride this out. Just sit back and let it run its course, Rob. No, just plow through the fucking lines and get through it.
I am fucking gone! Helpless!! Awesome!! Bet Cameron is laughing. This is a memorable moment I am having right now. One to remember, for sure. But, seriously, get through it.
... Coincidence...
I'm just blurting out words now. It makes no sense. Is this close to what insanity would feel like? Total lack of control. I'm laughing really hard. Hard laughing is wonderful. But stop it.
... hops on her...
I can picture it, him actually hopping on her... I'm pretty comfortable on this couch. Leaning back so comfortable. I bet people are confused right now. Laughing. Come on, stop it.
... hops on her...
Just say Balemtimes. Just the one word and then it'll be over. Just say Balemtimes.
... Balemtimes Day...
Phew! Made it. Still laughing. What will happen now? Is this over? I think it's over.
Anyway, that's a little glimpse into my thought process as I remember it. Yes, the corpsing subsided soon after that, and the scene carried on, more or less as normal.
Tuesday, January 7
Monday, January 6
These Are The Movies I Saw 2013, The Year Of Their Release
These are movies I liked and would recommend to others:
This is The End
John Dies At The End
Place Beyond the Pines
Machete Kills
Star Trek: Into Darkness
Kon Tiki
The Iceman
A Hijacking
The Heat
These are movies that I liked but wouldn't necessarily recommend to others:
Identity Thief
The Call
Burt Wonderstone
Olympus Has Fallen
Man of Steel
World War Z
White House Down
The Lone Ranger
Pacific Rim
The Wolverine
American Hustle
The World's End
Captain Phillips
These are movies that I watched but didn't impact me very much:
I'm So Excited
Saving Mr. Banks
This is a movie I hated, so much:
Iron Man 3
These are movies I started to watch, but because they were so awful and/or boring, I stopped watching them:
The Purge
Movie 43
Thursday, August 8
Make 'Em Laugh
Today Plinky asks me why I started writing, and is that still why I write.
I don't really recall *when* I started writing, but my goal, I would say, was, and still is, to make people laugh (or at least smile). I'd like to think I have a pretty good success rate.
Except, you know, for this bit of writing that you're reading now.
Tuesday, August 6
He's My Son He Is
Today Plinky's prompt to write something says: Tell someone you're proud of just how proud you are.
So, I'll do that now. And I'll tell my son Cameron how I am proud of him, hopefully without getting all mushy and embarrassing and "Geez, Dad, I didn't really need people to read that" and stuff.
I could go on about how you're a smart, level-headed, responsible young person, funny and inventive, and strong-willed and opinionated, and junk like that, but instead, I want to focus on how you seem to be your own person - you don't seem to be very concerned with trends and expectations and perceptions. You're comfortable being, and discovering, yourself, and I'm pretty proud of you for that.
Monday, August 5
From Purgatory to Heaven - the way it *should* work
Sunday morning I had a revelation. I figured out how Purgatory should work. This is, I suppose, only valid for Catholics, since they're the Purgatory believers - but it should be implemented right across the board, imo.
It involves paperwork.
So, okay, you die. Your soul goes to Purgatory - a solitary room, white with no adornations of any kind. White table, white straight-back chair. Comfortable enough, but very antiseptic and uninspiring. You are all by yourself.
On the table is a stack of white papers and a pencil and an eraser. And a pencil sharpener. You are instructed to list everything and everyone and anything and anyone that you would like to see and experience for the rest of eternity while in Heaven. People from your past that you'd like to see; Memories you'd like to keep; Things you'd like to do and/or try that you never got to when you were alive; etc.
It is suggested that you be as specific as possible with each item. And it is suggested that you be absolutely thorough, because once your list is compiled, it cannot be altered.
Basically, once your list is completed to your satisfaction, you sign off on it, hand it over, and then you are transported to Heaven, where the things on your list are available to you, whenever you want them, as often as you want them.
Some people will spend a long, long time (maybe forever) working on their lists, obsessing and making sure they don't miss out on anything. Others may think they will be content with just a few basics, more eager to move on to their reward.
This is, I think, an interesting approach, and puts the onus on each individual.
Does anyone see any flaws or improvements that should be addressed before I present this to the Powers That Be?
Friday, August 2
From A to Z
"Anyone want to go to The Exhibition?" Terry asked the room.
Beanie wrinkled her nose at the memory of her last time there.
"Can we maybe NOT go to The Exhibition this year?" she replied. "Don't feel like getting my clothes dry-cleaned from all the vomit again, thanks."
Everyone but Gaston glanced away from Beanie, not able to look her in the eye. For maybe ten seconds there was silence, as they each remembered their own complicity in "The Great Exhibition Vomitician", as the event had since been dubbed.
Gaston, who wasn't part of the group last year, looked around at the suddenly sullen faces and broke the silence. "How did you get vomit on your clothes at The Exhibition, Beanie?"
"I don't want to talk about it. Just suffice to say we're not ever going on The Zipper ever again!"
"Kevin hasn't been the same since," said Terry.
"Look," yelled Kevin, "just because a guy vomits and pisses himself AND shits his pants all at the same time, it doesn't make him a bad guy!"
More silence.
"Now I really need to know what happened," said Gaston.
"Okay," sighed Terry.
"Please, no, Terry," pleaded Beanie. "Quiet. Really."
She looked quite serious.
Terry, however, had made his decision. Undeterred, he relayed the story of how everyone who was in their compartment of The Zipper, all threw up in unison, on Beanie mostly, as a result of the smell after Kevin had pissed and shit his pants in fear.
"Vomit!" laughed Gaston. "Who'd'a thunk you guys had such weak stomachs!"
Xerxes, the foreign-exchange student, who, up until this point, had remained quiet and unassuming, in the corner, finally spoke up.
"You should smell MY home town! Zipper-puke all the time!"
Wednesday, July 31
I, Too, Am an Arthole!!
Some things I can't wrap my brain around. I find it hard, for example, to imagine people wanting to pay money to see/hear me perform music and songs - especially songs and music I create. The very idea of me singing in front of people (as myself, not as a character in a play or sketch) weakens me. Actually doing so has made me panicked and uncertain.
Why, I wonder.
I remember one time at Pat's Rose & Grey, years ago, David Ward (from Island Media Arts Co-Op fame) asked me why I didn't try to direct films (at that time, the medium was still primarily film, not video), and I replied "Because I don't have anything that I want to say right now".
I think that's a large part of my problem - the idea I have that, in certain mediums, I need "something to say".
I have the belief, it seems, that songwriting/performing, filmmaking, and creating art, should require you to do it because you are trying to say something, trying to express something. Yet the same notion doesn't exist for me when it comes to acting, or performing improv (notice that I separate the two) - I suppose because I am relatively at ease doing that - and I believe I'm good at it, perhaps, and I believe I am "saying something" (at least some of the time), I don't have the same hangup when it comes to sketch comedy or similar performance and creation.
When it comes down to brass tacks, I guess the reason I do not consider myself a singer or songwriter is because I don't want to waste people's time with my frivolities. Leave that to the grownups.
The same goes for art - only moreso. Whereas I *can* envision a world where I do sing on stage in front of people, I simply cannot fathom myself as someone who creates art - paintings, sculptures, drawing, photography, abstracts, etc. It is beyond me and my abilities. Or it *should* be beyond me, perhaps is what I think.
I see lots of art that I like, where it is obvious that the artist has a clear point of view and a talent to express it. "That person is an artist" I think. I also see art that I consider lazy, boring, unmotivated, pretentious - frivolous - and I think it's this - uninspired art and artists - that keeps me from even contemplating attempting something in that vein. I don't want to create something where, were an alternate-universe version of myself were to see it, I would consider it frivolous and trite.
Which brings me to tonight. Tonight, Arthole is opening in the Gallery at The Guild, and I have a piece in it. Yes, a piece of art.
That damn David Stewart is to blame. And praise, I suppose. A year ago, he basically forced me to confront my "singing in front of people" fear and bias by having my wife and me sing at his wedding ceremony. Now, almost a year to the day later, he basically forced me to display "art" that I have created myself.
I like the way it turned out. I expect it will confound some people and I like that. I expect some people will consider it frivolous and simple and stupid, but for me it is none of those things (well, maybe stupid).
And now that it exists, I don't even care what an alternate-universe version of me would think of it.
David's objective in curating this Arthole project is to have the artists a) challenge themselves; b) challenge the viewer; and/or c) express or represent themselves as artists.
For a) I certainly challenged myself - even contemplating that I was worthy to be part of the project was the biggest challenge I faced.
For b) it's not really up to me to say whether viewers will be challenged - but I believe the potential to be challenged is definitely there.
For c) I think this piece absolutely represents me, as it is basically a non-descript container that contains hidden and unknown elements that possibly nobody will ever see.
Tuesday, February 12
Dealing With A Zombie Apocalypse, Part One
If The Walking Dead teaches us anything, it's this: during the initial stages of a zombie apocalypse, it's the zombies that pose the biggest threat to your life. Later on, it's The Living (specifically: egomaniacal insane dictatorial zealots and their posses) who ruin life for each other.
Another thing it teaches us is this: spending any extended period on a farm is really boring.
A third thing is: you will probably go crazy.
Still, in those initial months before one entirely loses oneself in a miasma of hopelessness and despair, one must really do all one can to protect oneself from being devoured by zombies. Here's one trick:
First of all, find yourself (or your small group) a nice house with a nice yard, away from other live humans. Somewhat secluded, but not 'cabin in the woods' isolated. Make sure it is empty of zombies. Keep it well stocked with necessities (food and weapons, mostly). Only go out, sporadically, to restock.
When the coast seems clear enough, carefully, go out and explore warehouses, packaging plants, any type of business that utilized these:
The roller tracks, not the box. Bring as many tracks as needed back to your home. (The next step will take some time, but will be totally worth it. This is a DAYTIME ONLY activity. DO NOT WORK ON THIS AT NIGHT) Set the roller tracks up on your lawn, tightly packed together and radiating outward on a declining plane (higher at the house, lower away from the house). When finished, the entirety of your home will be surrounded by roller tracks, much lilke rays of sunshine eminating from the sun:
Once set up, this will keep zombies from accessing your home. AND it will be hilarious! Watch them constantly stumble and fall as they slip and slide on the rollers. There is no way they can get up those rollers.
You might need to have one segment of track open so that you can come and go as you need. Or, for 100% security, dig a tunnel from the basement of the house, to a safe distance away. Use that as your entry/exit path. Or, set up a speaker system outside the house, a safe distance away from house and, when needed, play noises (yells and whoops, etc. "Hey you zombies, over here!" "Come and get me over here" etc - these can be prerecorded and on a loop) - this will cause the zombies who are congregated around your house to all leave and follow the noise, allowing you to leave in the opposite direction. (if you don't have access to power for the speakers, set up a long fuse from your home to a pile of firecrackers that are situated away from your house - light them to create the noise diversion)
And there you have it: a perfectly secure homestead.
Next up: The Demographics of the Perfect Survivors' Group
Monday, January 28
Here You Go, Hollywood: TV Show idea: Food of Job
My friend, Dave Stewart, and I went to lunch on Friday. The temperature in the restaurant was very cold; we had to keep our coats on. The experience (cold atmosphere + good food) caused us to come up with a horrible new reality show:
The Food of Job
The basic premise is: contestants provide a list of their Top Favourite Foods or Meals of All Time. They are then forced to consume their favourite foods in terrible, terrible conditions.
"Trevon, you listed Grape Gatorade as your most enjoyed beverage. Well, this week, we're flying you to Antartica where you'll undress down to your underwear, be dropped into a Kiddy Pool full of Grape Gatorade. You must consume the entire pool full of Grape Gatorade before you get rescued, or before you freeze. This is... The Food of Job!!"
"Tammy, you Love popcorn!! You said it was your 2nd favourite snack food. Get ready to... Pop To It!! We're tying your hands behind your back and putting you in a human-sized popcorn popper. It's up to you to catch all the popped popcorn in your mouth, while trying to avoid the melted butter and salt raining down on you. This is... The Food of Job!!"
You get the idea, Hollywood.
Friday, November 9
Tuesday, November 6
Rob's Review of Woody Allen's "Bananas"
I have decided to re-introduce myself to the cinematic works of Woody Allen. I'll be making my way through his directorial canon, in a more-or-less chronological progression, and, when the mood strikes me, or when I remember, I will offer up my "who the hell cares what you think" reviews.
I had recently (in the past couple of years) seen his first couple of directorial efforts (What's Up Tiger Lily, and Take The Money And Run), had mixed reactions to them, and decided to pass on reviewing them.
So, first up: Bananas (1971)
Bananas is a slapstick comedy that, not surprisingly, derives most of its comedy from bits of slapstick. Some of gags still hold up and are (and, I presume, always will be) funny, and more than some left me waiting for that particular gag to end.
My least favourite moments came during South America excursion, where the comedy was more "miss" than "hit".
I liked the ABC Wide World of Sports bookend, with a game Howard Cosell playing along (and cracking up during the final in-bed interview)
Laughed at a whole bunch of little moments, like Woody's face when he's being accosted by the toughies on the subway (one of which was a very young looking Sylvester Stallone!); the bit where he tries to set the right tone for his romantic interlude with Louise Lasser's character and ends up covered in talc; Woody as lawyer interviewing himself on the witness stand...
Louise Lasser was Dianne Keaton before there was a Dianne Keaton.
What i found most surprising: there were some moments of actual, honest-to-goodness great acting, especially from Woody. I always thought that his acting was underappreciated, and was surprised that there were some really nice moments in this broad, slapstick comedy.
So, not a lot of laugh-out-loud moments, but more than enough little snickering moments of comedy that hit their marks, and more than make up for the moments of misses.
Friday, July 27
Father Son Act Off - The Spit Take
Tuesday, May 15
Rob's 7-Word Reviews of some IMAF Short Films
I went to Friday night's IMAF 2012 "Funny Ha Ha" screening at The Guild, in Charlottetown. Actually, just didn't "go", but co-hosted with Graham Putnam.
I thought my hosting got off to a rough start when I said something about how the shorts we'll be seeing aren't necessarily funny... my goal was to point out how "funny" is such a personal thing, and what's funny to one isn't necessarily funny to others. But I think it may have come out as me declaring that none of the videos were funny. At least that's how my brain has since remembered the moment. Probably wasn't quite like that. My hosting for the start of Act Two seemed to be more smooth, I thought.
So, were the shorts funny? Well, here's a 7 word review of each of them.
Uptown Charlottetown by Lennie MacPherson and Fraser MacAllum (PEI) - Too long. Edited like a rough draft.
Superscience by Joel MacKenzie (NS) - Sophomoric presentation, amateurish performances. Didn't even smile.
Home Sweet Hell, ep.1 (and ep.2 later on in the evening) by Fox Henderson (PEI): Dated spoof misses the mark. Terrible sound.
The Fourth Minute by Ross Vincent Moore (NFLD): Uninteresting script, uninspired. Two minutes too long.
Buzz Off by Renee Laprise (PEI): Tries way too hard to be funny.
Afghan by Pardis Parker (NS): Smart, interesting, sharp. A bit too long.
PEI Encyclopedia: Intelligence (and later : Fighting) by Dominique Girouard (PEI): Lowest comedic denominator; like cumming into Kleenex.
Goodbye Robot Army by Greg Jackson (NS): Looked good, but that's all. Predictable & long.
Dead Guy Sleeping (or The Quiet Guy) by Nils LIng (PEI): Pointless, predictable, perplexing. Unintersting script, unmotivated delivery.
The Wake by Andrew Winter (NFLD): Hated it. Unlikeable characters. Obvious, unfunny punchline.
Hurricane Harry by Neil Wiley and Richard DesRoches (PEI): A mess. And here's five more words.
Ken Fucks Up by Ruby Boutilier and Sarah Byrne (NS): Interesting idea, funny moments, a bit repetitive.
Bunkerdown: A Friend For Dinner by Jason Rogerson (PEI): (disclosure: this is a Sketch22 video, and I was involved in the creation of it) Cartoonish "Jerry" performance distracts from tone. Ambitious.
Was I in a bad mood that night? Not very many positive reviews. I only smiled a handful of times and laughed only a couple of times.
I guess it's true: comedy is hard.
Friday, May 4
How To Make The Next Season of Survivor Awesome
I'm a big fan of Survivor. However, I've been discouraged the past few seasons by the routine to the strategies: On Day One, a handful of players from each tribe commit to each other to be a strong, small alliance until the very end. More and more, these alliances remain strong, and a result is that suspense and strategy about who might be voted out for any episode is pretty much non-existent. When the contestants walk up to Tribal Council every week, we pretty much know (despite the producers' best efforts to create red-herring possibilities) who will be voted out.
When I heard about this season's "twist", that the contestants would all be sharing one beach, I was intrigued. I thought it might make for some interesting cross-tribe secret alliances. But, when the teams were divided by gender, that pretty much smothered any chance for cross-tribe alliances, since it pretty quickly became a Women's Tribe Against Men's Tribe situation. That Women vs. Men vibe has maintained throughout the season, and as a result, once the numbers were in the women's favour during teh Individual Immunity portion of the season, there's been very little suspense episode to episode as who might get voted out. We know/knew it'd be a man. Maybe not *which* man, but it'd be a man.
Anyway, Survivor is still a great show to watch, but it is becoming a bit stagnated when it comes to surprising strategy.
So, I came up with what I think they should do next time to drastically increase the potential for surprises and scrambling by/for the contestants:
EPISODE ONE: Keep the idea of all contestants on one beach. Day One, Jeff tells them that they are all sharing one camp, and that they'll be divided up into teams later on.
Let them all do what they usually do on Day One - try and scramble to create their small, strong alliances. This will become much more interesting in these first few hours, because the players won't know what team they'll be on, so alliances will likely be more tenuous.
At the first Tribal Reward Challenge, Jeff informs them that they'll now be divided into two teams. How they get divided doesn't really matter. They get divided, are told the team names, and then compete for reward. One team wins, one loses, and then they go back to camp.
Now that they've been divided, they'll begin to create what they think are more substantial mini-alliances with contestants from *their* team.
Onto the first Tribal Immunity Challenge... They compete as teams again, and the players from the losing team go to Tribal Council where one of them gets voted out of the game. That's Episode One.
EPISODE TWO: Bring them to Tribal Reward Challenge, and this is where the bomb gets dropped. The teams from the last challenges are completely disbanded, and brand new teams are randomly created (must be random). These two new teams will compete against each other in the next Reward and the next Immunity challenge. Jeff informs them that this is the way it will continue - random new teams each round - until it's time to switch to Individual Immunity challenges.
They do the Reward Challenge, with these new teams. Go back to camp and freak out as they realize the implications of the Always-Changing-Team-Members format. Go to Immunity Challenge, and you might be competing against alliance members, and they might lose, and be voted out that night.... then your alliance is in shambles. That's Episode Two
The subsequent episodes would continue in the same way: Every week, they're divided up into new random teams - always switching up who you are competing with/against each time...
If they did this, it would totally change the way the contestants play the game in the first third of the season. They'd still try and form alliances, but sometimes they'd be competing against people in their alliances, and there'd be more possibiltiy of people in one's alliance getting voted out when they're on the losing immunity challenge team.
Thursday, March 8
How I Would Have Improved This Week's "The Walking Dead"
I cannot count the number of times this season when, about 15 to 30 minutes into an episode of The Walking Dead, I vowed to stop watching the series. I have been beyond frustrated with the season, ever since they got to that damn farm. All they do on that farm is argue and debate and complain and whine.
Yet I am still watching. Still hoping that *the next scene* is when the series will become exciting and enjoyable again - only to have the next scene be two characters walking from the house to the camp and arguing with each other about something inconsequential. There seems to be maybe 2 good (occasionally *great*) scenes per episode, and the rest is just awful.
I understand the characters are rather 2-dimensional (they are based on the comic book counterparts, after all), and I don't really have a problem with that. 2-dimensional characters can be entirely satisfactory if they are put into situations where something *real* is at stake. But put 2-dimensional characters on a farm where they are relatively safe (*why* they are safe on this farm, I am not entirely sure of) and comfortable, and their problems get pretty shallow and insignificant pretty quick.
So, after 3 paragraphs of setup, I get to the point of this post - I am going to state how I would have improved this week's episode.
First, a quick recap of the episode - spoilers abound for anyone who hasn't seen it.
-we see Bow & Arrow Guy (I'm not good at remembering the names of the characters on this show), beating up the wayfaring stranger kid. To get information out of him. I don't know why the kid is withholding info, but he is - until he gets beat up enough to divulge that there's a group of about 30 guys in another group, and they're men of questionable morals.
-the kid of the group (who is a total pain in the ass this episode - made worse by his awful, awful acting) keeps showing up in scenes where he's told by everyone else not to be showing up in (why is nobody keeping an eye on this kid?). He's ignorant and rebellious, and steals a pistol and goes walkabout until he comes across a walker who is stuck in the mud. He throws rocks like a girl and, with Fake Stakes Brain (a syndrome I just invented where a character does something so ridiculous and stupid and so obviously wrong and out of character that it is done ONLY to create fake stakes), gets within touching distance of the walker, and almost gets deadened. He leaves the walker alone and runs off.
-Everyone argues and debates and questions and wonders and debates some more about whether they should kill the wayfaring kid. It is a foregone conclusion that they will kill him (psyche!!!), but still the whole episode is wasted on them discussing whether it should be done. Dale, the only one who wants them to NOT kill the kid, walks off in a huff and ends up getting deadened by a walker (on this so-called supposedly *safe* farm? Huh?) The kid sees that the walker is the foot-stuck-in-the-mud one he had come upon (and subsequently realeased from the mud), and by the end of the episode, blames himself, it is assumed.
-Sheriff can't go through with killing the wayfaring kid because the way the rebellious boy tells his dad to shoot Wayfarer, Dad is suddenly horrified and ashamed by what he was about to do.
That's about it... But let me emphasize how much time was spent this episode with them debating whether to kill or not to kill.
It was another intolerably long and argument-infested episode where really nothing much happened, except in that one scene where Dale died.
So, here's how I'd improve the episode (and the series):
- start with gun pointed at the head of the wayfaring kid, in the barn (we can allude, if we must, to the debates they've had about whether to kill him or not). He's about to be shot. In his panic, he divulges the info about the other gang.
-Dale comes in, pleading not to kill him - we get the whole argument (and the point it was trying to convey) over in one scene. They refuse and Dale walks off, stating he'll not be a party to this (just like in the actual episode).
- Before Dale leaves, the rebellious kid shows up (through a line of dialogue we learn that he's not supposed to be there, and has been a pain in the ass today) and is sent to his room *where he stays for the rest of his time on the farm*.
-Sheriff shoots wayfaring kid. He is dead. (If future episodes require the wayfarer *not* to be dead, then he doesn't get shot - but it's not because Sheriff can't do it, it's because they get side-tracked by the Dale Gets Attacked By Walker Situation).
- The walker kills Dale (just like in the actual episode - although I have issues about how that happened - how did the walker sneak up on Dale?). The group realizes that the farm is not safe, and they hastily pack and leave the farm. Some can choose to remain. Who remains? Any characters from the dozen or so on the farm who haven't spoken a line of dialogue in the past four episodes - I'm looking at you Black Guy and at you, Other Younger Male Guy Who Is Part of The Farm Family, and at you, Suicide Girl.
-The rest of the episdoe (about 20 minutes more, I figure) is about them adjusting to being back on the road again.
-If we must (and only if there is a later payoff for the kid's guilt), we can see in flashback (while they're on the road), the rebellious kid coming across the walker and setting him free - the same one who killed Dale.
-Something exciting and future-plot-relevant happens on the road, as the final act of the episode, that makes us eager for what might happen next episode.


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The Latin Vulgate w/ Apocrypha (VULA) | New International Version (NIV) |
1 in diebus illis aegrotavit Ezechias usque ad mortem et introivit ad eum Isaias filius Amos propheta et dixit ei haec dicit Dominus dispone domui tuae quia morieris tu et non vives | 1 In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. The prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to him and said, "This is what the LORD says: Put your house in order, because you are going to die; you will not recover." |
2 et convertit Ezechias faciem suam ad parietem et oravit ad Dominum | 2 Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the LORD, |
3 et dixit obsecro Domine memento quaeso quomodo ambulaverim coram te in veritate et in corde perfecto et quod bonum est in oculis tuis fecerim et flevit Ezechias fletu magno | 3 "Remember, O LORD, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes." And Hezekiah wept bitterly. |
4 et factum est verbum Domini ad Isaiam dicens | 4 Then the word of the LORD came to Isaiah: |
5 vade et dic Ezechiae haec dicit Dominus Deus David patris tui audivi orationem tuam vidi lacrimam tuam ecce ego adiciam super dies tuos quindecim annos | 5 "Go and tell Hezekiah, 'This is what the LORD, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will add fifteen years to your life. |
6 et de manu regis Assyriorum eruam te et civitatem istam et protegam eam | 6 And I will deliver you and this city from the hand of the king of Assyria. I will defend this city. |
7 hoc autem tibi erit signum a Domino quia faciet Dominus verbum hoc quod locutus est | 7 " 'This is the LORD's sign to you that the LORD will do what he has promised: |
8 ecce ego reverti faciam umbram linearum per quas descenderat in horologio Ahaz in sole retrorsum decem lineis et reversus est sol decem lineis per gradus quos descenderat | 8 I will make the shadow cast by the sun go back the ten steps it has gone down on the stairway of Ahaz.' " So the sunlight went back the ten steps it had gone down. |
9 scriptura Ezechiae regis Iuda cum aegrotasset et convaluisset de infirmitate sua | 9 A writing of Hezekiah king of Judah after his illness and recovery: |
10 ego dixi in dimidio dierum meorum vadam ad portas inferi quaesivi residuum annorum meorum | 10 I said, "In the prime of my life must I go through the gates of death and be robbed of the rest of my years?" |
11 dixi non videbo Dominum Dominum in terra viventium non aspiciam hominem ultra et habitatorem quievit | 11 I said, "I will not again see the LORD, the LORD, in the land of the living; no longer will I look on mankind, or be with those who now dwell in this world. |
12 generatio mea ablata est et convoluta est a me quasi tabernaculum pastorum praecisa est velut a texente vita mea dum adhuc ordirer succidit me de mane usque ad vesperam finies me | 12 Like a shepherd's tent my house has been pulled down and taken from me. Like a weaver I have rolled up my life, and he has cut me off from the loom; day and night you made an end of me. |
13 sperabam usque ad mane quasi leo sic contrivit omnia ossa mea de mane usque ad vesperam finies me | 13 I waited patiently till dawn, but like a lion he broke all my bones; day and night you made an end of me. |
14 sicut pullus hirundinis sic clamabo meditabor ut columba adtenuati sunt oculi mei suspicientes in excelsum Domine vim patior sponde pro me | 14 I cried like a swift or thrush, I moaned like a mourning dove. My eyes grew weak as I looked to the heavens. I am troubled; O Lord, come to my aid!" |
15 quid dicam aut quid respondebit mihi cum ipse fecerit recogitabo omnes annos meos in amaritudine animae meae | 15 But what can I say? He has spoken to me, and he himself has done this. I will walk humbly all my years because of this anguish of my soul. |
16 Domine sic vivitur et in talibus vita spiritus mei corripies me et vivificabis me | 16 Lord, by such things men live; and my spirit finds life in them too. You restored me to health and let me live. |
17 ecce in pace amaritudo mea amarissima tu autem eruisti animam meam ut non periret proiecisti post tergum tuum omnia peccata mea | 17 Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish. In your love you kept me from the pit of destruction; you have put all my sins behind your back. |
18 quia non infernus confitebitur tibi neque mors laudabit te non expectabunt qui descendunt in lacum veritatem tuam | 18 For the grave cannot praise you, death cannot sing your praise; those who go down to the pit cannot hope for your faithfulness. |
19 vivens vivens ipse confitebitur tibi sicut et ego hodie pater filiis notam faciet veritatem tuam | 19 The living, the living--they praise you, as I am doing today; fathers tell their children about your faithfulness. |
20 Domine salvum me fac et psalmos nostros cantabimus cunctis diebus vitae nostrae in domo Domini | 20 The LORD will save me, and we will sing with stringed instruments all the days of our lives in the temple of the LORD. |
21 et iussit Isaias ut tollerent massam de ficis et cataplasmarent super vulnus et sanaretur | 21 Isaiah had said, "Prepare a poultice of figs and apply it to the boil, and he will recover." |
22 et dixit Ezechias quod erit signum quia ascendam in domo Domini | 22 Hezekiah had asked, "What will be the sign that I will go up to the temple of the LORD?" |
The Latin Vulgate is in the public domain. (The Latin Vulgate w/ Apocrypha) | Scripture quoted by permission. Quotations designated (NIV) are from THE HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica. All rights reserved worldwide. (New International Version Bible Online) |

subset: commoncrawl


text:
DISCLAIMER You are solely responsible for the comments and other content that you post. Who's Dated Who? accepts no responsibility whatsoever in connection with or arising from such content.
Sabrina Lloyd (born November 20, 1970 in Fairfax, Virginia) is an American film and television actress.
List of links to Sabrina Lloyd fansites:
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text:
New American Standard (NAS) | New International Version (NIV) |
19 The great city was split into three parts, and the cities of the nations fell. Babylon the great was remembered before God, to give her the cup of the wine of His fierce wrath. | 19 The great city split into three parts, and the cities of the nations collapsed. God remembered Babylon the Great and gave her the cup filled with the wine of the fury of his wrath. |
New American Standard Bible Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation, La Habra, California. All rights reserved. (New American Standard Version - Holy Bible) | Scripture quoted by permission. Quotations designated (NIV) are from THE HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica. All rights reserved worldwide. (New International Version Bible Online) |


text:
Thousands of ringtones on Audiko.net! Simply download a free The Bar-Kays ringtones for your iPhone or mobile. Select your favorite moment from your favorite piece of art - Freakshow On The Dance Floor, Freaky Behavior, Holy Ghost, or any other track. Then download the prepared The Bar-Kays ringtones to your cell phone, and enjoy Funk music by The Bar-Kays every time your phone rings. If you love Funk or maybe Rhythm And Blues and 60s music, then you will probably like Yarbrough, Bonni Taylor, or Sho Nuff as well. For all who want a free The Bar-Kays ringtone, we also recommend listening to Soul, , and [tag_. Here you can have your tune both in the MP3 and m4a formats, supported by both mobile phones and iPhones. Just select a track, and choose free The Bar-Kays ringtones download option.
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Name | ||
Attitudes | ||
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Soul Finger |


text:
Thousands of ringtones on Audiko.net! You can conveniently download a free Lilo & Stitch ringtones for your iPhone or mobile. Choose your favorite moment from your favorite masterpiece - lilo & stitch, Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride, Aloha, or any other track. Then download the prepared Lilo & Stitch ringtones to your phone, and enjoy Disney music by Lilo & Stitch every time your phone rings. If you wig Disney or maybe funny and Hawaiian music, then you will probably like Aladdin Soundtrack, hercules, or Disney as well. For all who want a free Lilo & Stitch ringtone, we also recommend listening to World, Ethnic, and loved. Here you can obtain your track piece both in the MP3 and m4a formats, supported by both mobile phones and iPhones. Just select a track, and choose free Lilo & Stitch ringtones download option.
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Hawaiian Rollercoaster |


text:
Main Content
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There's nothing like winning the Super Bowl, so why not show off your Patriots pride? This Side Patcher 59FIFTY fitted hat by New Era is adorned with a bold Patriots logo on the front and a Super Bowl XXXVI patch on the side. It also features a structured fit, an embroidered NFL shield at the back and team-colored accents. No matter how you decide to spend your day, either at a game or watching it at home, you'll be sporting New England dedication all the way to non-stop victory!
- 100% Polyester
- Fitted
- Flat bill
- Imported
- Officially licensed
- Quality embroidery
- Structured fit
Reviewed by 2 customers
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Comments about New Era New England Patriots Super Bowl XXXVI Side Patcher 59FIFTY Fitted Hat - Navy Blue:
love this hat that features the Superbowl XXXVI logo - when the Pats' legacy began.
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Comments about New Era New England Patriots Super Bowl XXXVI Side Patcher 59FIFTY Fitted Hat - Navy Blue:
I wear with matching Jerseys
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are not available for international or expedited shipping.
Customized items can be personalized with options such as your name, your favorite
number, and/or designs. Some options may be limited by league rules.


text: We'd planned to visit here since we're currently in Montpelier. I was so excited after I read all the great reviews, so I found their Facebook page, only to see that they have closed here and are taking their business to NYC! Here's what was posted back in May: "For those who haven't heard the news, we will be closing... More


text:
#0523: Et Tu, Brutus?
Original Air Date: 06.04.2005
This week we ask: Do cars come with windshield wipers on the inside?
Chrystal's bulldog loves to ride shotgun, but how can she deal with Brutus' gale force slobber? Matt's wife goes running when he sports his new cologne: Eau d'Old Gas! And get ready for a few (booogus!) automotive home remedies – a can of Coke to make your battery smile! Plus, some of our favorite letters from the "wacko mail" file. That and more in this week's show.
This Week's Puzzler
Five words are missing from this sentence: The blank (1) doctor was blank (2) blank (3) to operate, because she had blank (4) blank (5). Find out!
Last Week's Puzzler
How does the repairman fix the TV without any tools? Find out!
Show Open Topic
Wacko mail from listeners.
Links from


text:
Bitcoins $60.00... Rises while FIAT currency continue to fall
Submitted by PeacefulAnarchism on Wed, 03/06/2013 - 10:31Hey Everyone,
Back here with an update on Bitcoin. It's trading at about $46.50 this morning and as I predicted well on it's way to $100 and over. Who would have thought that a currency modeled on principles held within the Austrian school of economics would flourish against those FIAT paper currencies that those Keynesians love so much.
I know for some, Bitcoins is a concept so far removed from the current paradigm it's difficult to make the mental leap. Those people will get left on the side of the road, for your own sake do some research and try to understand the mechanics behind it. If anybody should be on board with this it's libertarians. It is really an ingenious and Revolutionary concept. What's so exciting about it is we still at the beginning of it all.
Online retail stores are just beginning to accept Bitcoins. Other business are opening the doors, exchanges are opening up, and eventually it will become more popular than any FIAT currency.
Fight for Liberty use Bitcoins
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This mathematician is
This mathematician is sticking with gold.
Bit coin is fiat because it is money without intrinsic value.
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Exactly.If bitcoin gets
Exactly.If bitcoin gets popular all the banks have to do is buy them all up with their own digital dollars when all the bitcoins are created.Yes some people will make alot of dollars selling them when the price goes up but when the dollar is dead it will not matter how many dollars you have.The only thing that matters is having real tangible assets Gold,silver,guns,food etc.Bitcoins are a game of digital blackjack and that is it.
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Youre not sticking to Gold you're sticking to the Dollar
No one is arguing that Gold and Silver is not money.
this is not Precious Metals vs Bitcoins
This is FIAT currency vs Bitcoins
You're a mathematician, so I assume you understand logic.
What's more logical?
Use a FIAT currency that empowers the central bankers who are working desperately to undermine Liberty? or Use one that empowers the people.
Common man. It's Dollars vs Bitcoins. Stop being an ignoramus and get on the side of liberty.
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The phrase is "come on", not "common"
I've seen this gaffe repeatedly online. Is English your first language? I'm trying to determine the etymology of this spelling error and whether it has a geographical or linguistic origin.
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Bitcoins and dollars are both
Bitcoins and dollars are both fiat because they have no intrinsic value other than a falsely manufactured trust.
I'm sticking with gold and silver over bitcoin and dollar.
Get it now?
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can you convert bitcoin
can you converst bitcoin directly to silver??
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Not the best of prices, but yes.
"I'm fully diversified. I've got some under the mattress, some under the floor boards, some in the backyard."
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I use Bitmit
I use bitmit.net to convert bitcoin to silver... Its kind of like an ebay for bitcoins... You can buy pretty much anything on there thats legal(and some things that arnt in some areas), but the prices for silver closely follow spot price... Same for gold on that site too
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text:
Siemens AG
News about Siemens AG, including commentary and archival articles published in The New York Times.
Siemens Profit Down 25% on Weak Economy and Lower Oil Prices
The German engineering company said profit in its first quarter fell to $1.23 billion, and that it may have to cut jobs to reduce costs.
January 28, 2015, Wednesday
Siemens to Sell Its Hearing Aid Unit for About $2.69 Billion
The sale to the private equity firm EQT Partners and the Strüngmann family means the German conglomerate will not pursue a public listing for Siemens Audiology Solutions.
November 6, 2014, Thursday
Cash-Stuffed German Companies on a Global Buying Spree
A rare bright spot in the European economy in recent years, many of the biggest German companies have begun capitalizing on their strength, striking big deals for overseas competitors.
September 22, 2014, Monday
Siemens Makes $7.6 Billion Bet on Fracking in U.S.
With its all-cash deal to buy Dresser-Rand Group, the German engineering conglomerate is positioning itself in the American energy sector, which is seeing a boom in shale oil.
September 22, 2014, Monday
Siemens Agrees to Buy Dresser-Rand, an Oil Services Company, for $7.6 Billion
The giant engineering conglomerate will pay $83 a share for the Houston-based Dresser-Rand Group, giving Siemens a major presence in the American energy sector.
September 21, 2014, Sunday
Needing Skilled Workers, a Booming Germany Woos Immigrants
The country is competing more aggressively with the United States, Britain and other nations to attract and keep educated people from abroad.
July 19, 2014, Saturday
Siemens May Seek Another Alstom Tie-Up
Pooling together Alstom's and Siemens's train-making units can create significant medium-term savings, Olaf Storbeck writes in Reuters Breakingviews.
June 24, 2014, Tuesday
In Last-Ditch Effort for Alstom, Siemens and Mitsubishi Heavy Raise Offer
Siemens and Mitsubishi Heavy said they were raising the cash component of their offer for Alstom, the French industrial company at the center of their takeover battle with General Electric.
June 20, 2014, Friday
An Over-Engineered Alstom Bid
Out goes a simple cash deal with some job promises. In comes a string of joint ventures to satisfy France's taste for alliances and industrial champions, writes Quentin Webb of Reuters Breakingviews.
June 19, 2014, Thursday
G.E. to Propose Sweeteners to Its Alstom Offer
Jeffrey R. Immelt, the G.E. chairman and chief executive, will meet with French officials on Thursday and Friday to offer additional measures in hopes of persuading them to back G.E.'s deal for Alstom's energy assets.
June 18, 2014, Wednesday


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Written on: 11/11/2010
probably the worst experience of dining that I have ever had. The tables were too close together and our night was completely spoiled by another diner who accused me of "watching her". Her psychotic behaviour and the failure of the staff to recognise her agressive behaviour upset our evening and we will never dine there again. The fact that we ere nearly sat on their table did not help but the food wasn't that great either.
As rated by real users
" Christmas day lunch " Read More
" Expensive , poor quality and not a home cooked roast dinner " Read More
" Bad steaks " Read More
Written by po51old
" Worth travelling north for " Read More
" Extortionate Beer Prices " Read More


text:
Welcome to Laguna Skin Care
Laguna Skin Care is a spa studio owned and operated by Crystal Harmon. Laguna Skin Care offers a hybrid of result oriented skin care services to create healthy, hydrated, radiant skin while relaxing both your mind and body. Crystal independently created a spa studio to personally be hands on with her clients. She strives to make every client she works with feel amazing, but more importantly achieve results from the service she provides.
Crystal is a licensed esthetician who is also certified in Lash Extensions by "Xtreme Lashes" (The global leader in eyelash extensions) and in Micropigmentation (Permanent Makeup). In addition, Crystal has completed several advanced training certifications in micropigmentation with Nouveau Contour Academy. Her advanced certifications include, 3-D Hairline-Strokes for Eyebrows, Eyeliners, Lips and Areola Restoration.


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Ebon Plague to get some multiple user loving, says Ghostcrawler
This wouldn't seem to be an issue at first glance. After all, Multiple Curses of the Elements from multiple Warlocks don't stack, right? Here's the deal though. The Ebon Plague counts as a third disease for the purpose of Death Knight abilities that count diseases to deal damage, such as Scourge Strike and Blood Strike. When only one Death Knight can have Ebon Plague up, the other Unholy Knights are left out in the cold and have a part of their damage stripped away.
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, News items, Instances, Raiding, Bosses, Talents, Buffs, Death Knight


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New Living Translation (NLT) | New International Version (NIV) |
1 Then David said, "This will be the location for the Temple of the LORD God and the place of the altar for Israel's burnt offerings!" | 1 Then David said, "The house of the LORD God is to be here, and also the altar of burnt offering for Israel." |
2 So David gave orders to call together the foreigners living in Israel, and he assigned them the task of preparing blocks of stone for building the Temple of God. | 2 So David gave orders to assemble the aliens living in Israel, and from among them he appointed stonecutters to prepare dressed stone for building the house of God. |
3 David provided large amounts of iron for the nails that would be needed for the doors in the gates and for the clamps, and more bronze than they could ever weigh. | 3 He provided a large amount of iron to make nails for the doors of the gateways and for the fittings, and more bronze than could be weighed. |
4 He also provided innumerable cedar logs, for the men of Tyre and Sidon had brought vast amounts of cedar to David. | 4 He also provided more cedar logs than could be counted, for the Sidonians and Tyrians had brought large numbers of them to David. |
5 David said, "My son Solomon is still young and inexperienced, and the Temple of the LORD must be a magnificent structure, famous and glorious throughout the world. So I will begin making preparations for it now." So David collected vast amounts of building materials before his death. | 5 David said, "My son Solomon is young and inexperienced, and the house to be built for the LORD should be of great magnificence and fame and splendor in the sight of all the nations. Therefore I will make preparations for it." So David made extensive preparations before his death. |
6 Then David sent for his son Solomon and instructed him to build a Temple for the LORD, the God of Israel. | 6 Then he called for his son Solomon and charged him to build a house for the LORD, the God of Israel. |
7 "I wanted to build a Temple to honor the name of the LORD my God," David told him. | 7 David said to Solomon: "My son, I had it in my heart to build a house for the Name of the LORD my God. |
8 "But the LORD said to me, 'You have killed many men in the great battles you have fought. And since you have shed so much blood before me, you will not be the one to build a Temple to honor my name. | 8 But this word of the LORD came to me: 'You have shed much blood and have fought many wars. You are not to build a house for my Name, because you have shed much blood on the earth in my sight. |
9 But you will have a son who will experience peace and rest. I will give him peace with his enemies in all the surrounding lands. His name will be Solomon, and I will give peace and quiet to Israel during his reign. | 9 But you will have a son who will be a man of peace and rest, and I will give him rest from all his enemies on every side. His name will be Solomon, and I will grant Israel peace and quiet during his reign. |
10 He is the one who will build a Temple to honor my name. He will be my son, and I will be his father. And I will establish the throne of his kingdom over Israel forever.'" | 10 He is the one who will build a house for my Name. He will be my son, and I will be his father. And I will establish the throne of his kingdom over Israel forever.' |
11 "Now, my son, may the LORD be with you and give you success as you follow his instructions in building the Temple of the LORD your God. | 11 "Now, my son, the LORD be with you, and may you have success and build the house of the LORD your God, as he said you would. |
12 And may the LORD give you wisdom and understanding, that you may obey the law of the LORD your God as you rule over Israel. | 12 May the LORD give you discretion and understanding when he puts you in command over Israel, so that you may keep the law of the LORD your God. |
13 For if you carefully obey the laws and regulations that the LORD gave to Israel through Moses, you will be successful. Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid or lose heart!" | 13 Then you will have success if you are careful to observe the decrees and laws that the LORD gave Moses for Israel. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged. |
14 "I have worked hard to provide materials for building the Temple of the LORD -- nearly four thousand tons of gold, nearly forty thousand tons of silver, and so much iron and bronze that it cannot be weighed. I have also gathered lumber and stone for the walls, though you may need to add more. | 14 "I have taken great pains to provide for the temple of the LORD a hundred thousand talents of gold, a million talents of silver, quantities of bronze and iron too great to be weighed, and wood and stone. And you may add to them. |
15 You have many skilled stonemasons and carpenters and craftsmen of every kind available to you. | 15 You have many workmen: stonecutters, masons and carpenters, as well as men skilled in every kind of work |
16 They are expert goldsmiths and silversmiths and workers of bronze and iron. Now begin the work, and may the LORD be with you!" | 16 in gold and silver, bronze and iron--craftsmen beyond number. Now begin the work, and the LORD be with you." |
17 Then David ordered all the leaders of Israel to assist Solomon in this project. | 17 Then David ordered all the leaders of Israel to help his son Solomon. |
18 "The LORD your God is with you," he declared. "He has given you peace with the surrounding nations. He has handed them over to me, and they are now subject to the LORD and his people. | 18 He said to them, "Is not the LORD your God with you? And has he not granted you rest on every side? For he has handed the inhabitants of the land over to me, and the land is subject to the LORD and to his people. |
19 Now seek the LORD your God with all your heart. Build the sanctuary of the LORD God so that you can bring the Ark of the LORD's covenant and the holy vessels of God into the Temple built to honor the LORD's name." | 19 Now devote your heart and soul to seeking the LORD your God. Begin to build the sanctuary of the LORD God, so that you may bring the ark of the covenant of the LORD and the sacred articles belonging to God into the temple that will be built for the Name of the LORD." |
Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. (New Living Translation - The Bible Online) | Scripture quoted by permission. Quotations designated (NIV) are from THE HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica. All rights reserved worldwide. (New International Version Bible Online) |


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Fri, Nov 9, 07 at 19:05
Leaves' margins are toothed, but not vicious to touch, but definitely noticeable.
Leaves also are not sunscalded or a nutritional deficiency? Anyone with leads on plant name or cultivar? thx |
Follow-Up Postings:
If a Cordyline cultivar then probably one belonging to C. fruticosa, known as ti plant in Hawaii. |
Here is a link that might be useful: Google's Pictures of Cordyline fruticosa
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Ridding invasive vines
I have two different envasive vines growing in my garden. The garden area is aprox. 12' x 35'. The vines have to be dug out, and then the roots go down 14-16". I'm finding small growths throughout the garden but can't dig them all without tearing up the entire area. One is a Trumpet Creeper (orange flowers, woody vine, large pods)coming from my neighbor's fence. The other is more wirey with fern like leaves. How can I get ride of these without distroying my garden? I am in Southeast Va.
Hi, I would recommend cutting them down to the ground and then immediately brushing all exposed parts of the vine with a brush-killing herbicide. Don't use Round-up because it's not strong enough. Look for a herbicide designed to kill shrubs and trees. This should do the job, although with the trumpet vine, you still may have shoots popping up here and there. But, killing the main vine will help a lot. You can buy brush killers at most garden centers or places such as Lowe's, Home Depot or Walmart.
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Anime, Art, ActivismSorry for the flood of journals! First, thank you all for the support about the Comic Con panels, and thank you, dA, for giving me the opportunity to do so! Speaking of panels, I will be giving another one about how anime and art can be more than just pretty pictures, but also a powerful mechanism of change. I will talk about how I first started doing activist art, finding inspiration, and how that evolved into my life's career. I will also be talking about how you can easily take action with nothing but the will of your imagination.The panel will be held at Cal Anime Destiny http://www.calanimedestiny.com a small one day (and super cheap) anime convention held at my university When I'm not panelling, you can find me in the Artist Alley (the AA is small, so I'll be easy to find ). The con is this October 13th at MLK Student Union on the University of California Berkeley campus 10 AM7 PM (more info here http://www.calanimedestiny.com/location )I look forward to s
Free Artists Network F.A.N.: Free Artists Network: Diverse Art Education for Creative Students The Free Artists Network (FAN) is designed to modernize the field of art education, making art lessons more relevant to industry-standard skills and making content easier to access for a broader range of students worldwide. FAN aims to establish an international database of art lessons in various media modalities. These lessons will be contributed by other art educators, industry professionals, and software developers and will offer creative students industry-relevant lessons that meet their own diverse artistic interests, ability levels, and/or special needs. Teachers can upload their own multi-media art lessons to this database to share them with art students and other art educators worldwide. Features Include, but are not limite
Dark works featuredDARKNESS by Sylwia77Brain Dead by valeskamoura
Icarus Contest Winners!Hey guys!We wanted to share with you the winners of the Project Educate: Stock and Resources week Icarus Contest! Here they are:Stock Winner: First Placeby GraphicPAStockStock Winner: Second Placeby kirileeStock Winner: Honorable Mentionby luseteArt Winner: First Placeby ReyeD33Art Winner: Second Placeby TrollGirlArt Winner: Honorable Mentionby annewipfPlease take a moment to give these outstanding artists a bit of love! You can find the original winners release right here!Thanks!Jade (Aeirmid)
Should I?Should I hug you or should I cry?Should I just stand out here and sayWell, I did try?Should I pretend I didnt seeYou were hurting, crying by the seaWith tears dripping in to foams that came to be?Should I stand aside when you walk by, whilst pretending to be shy,Without you saying a word or even hi?Should I live a life of I that ran awayWhen things got heated at our apartment by the bay,When we saw neither light or dayBut merely anger or so to say?...'In a day or two I'll pack away,Out the door and be on my way'---------------------------------------------------------Should I stand by the sea,While tears drip in to foams that came to be,Whilst waiting for you to silently walk by,Maybe say hello or even hi?Should you and I be one again?And share broken hearts pain;With swollen eyes, even love regain?...nay--nevermore shall we claim'Burning within is love's flames.'So bye, adios and adieu.Another's love calls for me and
Hes baaackk ahhhhhh^^My Brother :iconsanguisgelidus: is back... im so happy about it... !!! <3hahahahOh my dear watchers... its time for saying thank you for all you favs, comments an critiques.... its really awesome that you stand on my side and supporting me!! Thank youuuu so much for that! It really means a lot for me because i never had the chance to learn or study art but DA give me a chance to show and share my art and my style of life and its a great chance to earn money in the future, because i have a little daughter and i want to give her a sweet and well life I dont know what happent in the next time but i bother oneself about it... should i try to get a place to study art.... or should i do a apprenticeship in a other branch...? oh its so difficult.... ^^....What do you think about... realize a dream or play safe?aahhhh... my head burns
Coffee HaikuChug coffee downI dash across campusWarm summer day.
Guide to Job Interviews :: Part 1/2This Article results from a gathering of information I've done along the years while I was looking for a job, as well as some experience being on the other side ( employer side ) and what the company/ institution is looking for in this process. I hope you find this useful, and please feel free to add anything you find important, to make it as complete as possible for those who need it. INDEXPart 001BEFORE THE INTERVIEW1. Do your homework2. Rehearse3. Organize your Portfolio4. What to Wear4.1 Why it matter4.2 What always works and never goes out of style4.3 Cleavage and Associates4.4 Make uP Part 002DURING THE INTERVIEW 1. Non Verbal Communication1.1 Why it matters1.2 Greeting1.3 What to do with your hands1.4 Eye Contact1.5 Credibility in the Voice Tone2. Being Confident and Positive Part 003AFTER THE INTERVIEW 1. Make it personal2. Learn from your mistakes3. Don't beat yourself up! BEFORE THE INTERVIEW1. Do your homework
Auto resizing your art since March 18th!I've just been made aware that DA has decided to (temporarily?) take away our choice of showcasing art in any width we desire.</b>That's right- if you upload a new deviation right now, you won't get a choice of "900 width" or "display original size".Everything I upload, auto-resizes!I decided to write a news article about this development of interest, since I don't see any official news or topics about this new implementation anywhere... only after 30 minutes found a topic about it on the forum.What if today I want to upload a comic book artwork that is MEANT to be scrolled horizontally with very little height?What if today I want to show a wallpaper that's 1800 pixels wide?Statistically, only 10-20% of people click the "download" button- that means 80-90% of watchers will miss out on what I want to REALLY show.Give me back my "display art in resolution that I originally uploaded it in" button.From the forum post on the issue:"We've recently changed our requirements for t
Thank youHi my name is Benjamin Cehelsky I am 19 year old boy from the Czech Republic..so sorry for my bad english I've been here a long time. I would like say thank you for watching me,comments and favs I appreciate it so sooo much I have now 10 000 watchers ,155 000 pageviews and my deviations were viewed 1,370,530 times. This is incredible numbers.I never expected that I could ever have so many wonderful viewers like you i dont know what say now THANK YOU -I LOVE YOU MY DEAR FRIENDS


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Sun, Dec 5, 10 at 17:45
I was recently horribly let down by Restoration Hardware, who neglected to inform me that 2 chairs that I had ordered were going to be 3 months delayed (having already waited 3 months). As we were moving overseas, this was not going to work. Someone had recommended Casco Bay as some of their products were similar to those sold by RH. I spoke with Robert who immediately got the situation sorted out. They rushed our order through the system and one month later we had taken delivery of our chairs. I would never hesitate to recommend Casco Bay to anyone, the order was turned around quickly, the chairs are of exceptional quality, better then the RH ones, and cost less too!
Above and beyond the call of duty, these guys were understanding, professional, and extremely customer oriented....... JUST AMAZING! I wish I had known about them before going to RH, I will never place an order again with RH if Casco Bay has the same item. |
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Reality show wants to dress Houston mother of the brides
POSTED: Thursday, April 5, 2012 - 5:30am
UPDATED: Thursday, April 5, 2012 - 5:44am
New show to be filmed at Houston boutique
Houston — The Houston Chronicle is reporting; there are reality shows that help dress the bride, and there are reality shows that help dress the bridesmaids. But so far one very important member of the bridal party has been neglected by reality television: the mother of the bride.
To read more on the new show and where filming is to be set; head to The Houston Chronicle's website: http://blog.chron.com/tubular/2012/04/new-reality-show-wants-to-dress-houston-mother-of-the-brides-and-grooms/


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Hi Hilton, not sure if I can help you a lot. As you will see from my previous post, my connection to Elizabeth (Woodman) Doidge is through my aunt's husband, and I have not explored that branch very fully. I do know that Elizabeth was baptised 4 Mar 1832, d/o Richard and Martha/Matty (Cole) Woodman, who married 22 Feb 1816 in Milton Abbot. It would appear that Richard was baptised 17 Jul 1791 in Milton Abbot, s/o Joseph and Elizabeth (Head) Woodman. I have deduced this from secondary sources so it may be subject to error, but Richard and Matty's first son was named Joseph. Although I have Doidges in my direct ancestral line, I guess you will have already discovered that it is a common name in West Devon, and the practice of using a small pool of forenames makes it very difficult to identify with any confidence any particular individual or family grouping. I can trace back to a William Doidge b c 1760/3 in Thrushelton, but have come across no earlier Williams in my line. Notify Administrator about this message?
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Investor Overview
Webcast United Natural Foods at 17th Annual ICR XChange Conference (Replay) 01/12/15 at 11:30 a.m. ET |
Webcast United Natural Foods Annual Shareholder Meeting (Replay) 12/17/14 at 4:00 p.m. ET |
Corporate Profile |
United Natural Foods, Inc. (NASDAQ: UNFI) is the largest publicly traded wholesale distributor to the natural, organic and specialty industry in the United States and Canada. Carrying more than 65,000 SKUs, the Company supplies to over 27,000 customer locations across the US and Canada, and services a wide variety of retail formats including conventional supermarket chains, natural product superstores, independent retail operators and the food service channel. More >> |
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Attendees: In Person: Ray Connor, Judy Griffeth, Roberta Allen, Lisa Betz, Kimberly Jenkins, Karah Kohler, Christina Kuczora, Dr. Renee Mehlinger, Jean Meister, Margo Roethlisberger, Rita Thorpe.
Phone: Denni Beddle, Rosemary Bussa, Michelle Carmichael, Hannah Chapman, Rob Connor, Cathy Cumpston, Jamie Germain, Kathy Henke, Judy Hutchinson, Susan Krause, Debra Lipman, Dr. Cynthia Mester, Ronica Patel, Dee Ann Ryan, John Schornagel, Meryl Sosa.
The meeting began with roll call and introductions. Last meeting minutes were approved pending addition of one attendee & removal of an extra word. The remainder of the meeting centered on reviewing drafts/proposed edits to the Rule based on the previous meeting.
135.5 Purpose
Approved meeting minutes and other relevant workgroup information will be posted on the DMH website. Information regarding accessing that site will be distributed to workgroup members this week.
Review of draft updates in this section included discussion of the program's role to reduce symptoms and maintain as a youth develops into adulthood. The group discussed capturing services up until adulthood as well as services that may be directed at a very young child. Participants discussed ideas of age appropriate reduction or that those may come through their functioning developmentally. Dr. Mehlinger explained that optimal functioning is based on their cognitive development The idea is that the child/adolescent have a role in the community and return to normality with symptom reduction. The independence is tied into the medical necessity.
Proposed changes:
Section 135.5 Purpose
This Part is intended to define the terms under which children are eligible to receive funds for residential placement due to their mental illness, including alternative in-¬home/community services in lieu of residential placement, when clinically appropriate. Comprehensive services are funded to assist in reducing the child's severe symptoms of the illness and to maintain such reduction.
Funds are provided to assist parents/guardians in obtaining such services at the appropriate level of care. Among the Part requirements are two primary mandates to be satisfied so that the grant can be approved for renewal on an annual basis. These are documentation of parental participation in the child's care, treatment and discharge to family and community and evidence of the child's continuing clinical need for the current level of care.
135.6 Vision
This section was rewritten by Jean Meister and included suggestions of calling this section objective, goal or vision. This vision doesn't have to be measured. She used the Systems of Care book author Sheila A. Pires, as a reference. Participants discussed enhancing the likelihood of positive outcomes within the least restrictive settings, as well as discussions about federal guidelines and, trauma, in connection with school's new buzzword "culturally responsive." Participants discussed seeking to maintain connectedness for optimal attachments and involvements.
Children with serious emotional disturbance are a population with distinct developmental needs, for whom a comprehensive array of services and evidence ¬informed treatments may enhance the likelihood of positive outcomes. Services should be individualized, strengths-¬based and trauma informed; youth¬ and family¬-driven; culturally and linguistically responsive; effectively coordinated across systems and a continuum of care; provided in the least restrictive setting; and seek to maintain and strengthen children's connectedness with family, school, peers, and community.
135.10 Eligibility Criteria
135.90 Residential Placement
Participants discussed desire to know what percentage of youth don't have an ICG or wouldn't qualify are in private settings? Where are the kids coming from? How many kid packets come with an IEP?
ISBE and DMH will work out this language at the administrative level and then give this group that data
Next meeting Monday 12/16/13 10-12pm at Chicago Reed Annex.
Notes submitted by Roberta Allen.


text: Please Remember Former Doctoral Student John Deir in Your Prayers Jim Winterer '71 April 5, 2012 John Deir Please remember in your prayers John Deir, 66, of Stillwater, who died suddenly on Sunday, April 1. He was a member of Cohort 6 of the doctor of education program at St. Thomas. A gathering of friends and family to celebrate and honor his life will be held from 4 to 7 p.m. Thursday, April 5, at the Lake Elmo Inn Event Center, 3712 Layton Ave. N., Lake Elmo. An obituary and guest book can be viewed at legacy.com.


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Remember my obsession about growing sesame seeds for hummus? (Still don't have any.) As Lisa suggested, it would be easier to buy bulk. But is it safe? I dunno. |
Follow-Up Postings:
I saw this on the news either yesterday or the day before and just shook my head. It baffles me how often we see contaminated food stories like this. I mentally file all stories like this in a category called "why I grow my own". That file gets larger and larger all the time. When you say you still don't have any sesame seeds, do you mean that you don't have any seed to sow or that you've sown it but it hasn't had a chance to produce yet? Chandra grew sesame every year when he lived in Norman. |
- Posted by ChickenCoupe 7a (firstname.lastname@example.com) on Fri, May 23, 14 at 20:46
I don't have any seed, yet. I gave up on trying to identify the right type. The internet just doesn't have much on the gene split. One is for oil (bitter) and the other is for cooking. |
Both Evergreen Seeds and Kitazawa Seeds have sesame seeds of different types. I bet if you look at their websites, maybe it will tell you which variety is used for which thing. I am pretty sure that Chandra grew black sesame, if that helps any. |
- Posted by ChickenCoupe 7a (firstname.lastname@example.com) on Sat, May 24, 14 at 9:22
Thanks! I'll hafta get ground ready for next year. Would enjoy growing these! btw, the molokhia loves it in our sun. Fast-growing. |
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It was dark. You couldn't move and every time you did a tight sensation
could be felt on your wrists. You could feel yourself being in a chair
with your arms behind your back.You could bearly recall the last thing that happened before you were knock out.
You were walking down the street away from you school towards home.
You just couldn't wait to get home and watch your favorite show.
The name of said show was "Hetalia." You were in love with the show and
it's characters as well, too. Even though your parents thought it was unhealthy
for you to be watching nothing but that show, as long as you did your chores and
got good grades they were rather fine with it.
You had recently discovered a new hetalia trend called "2P!Hetalia."
At first, you were not attracted to the characters who were the complete opposites
of the originals, but you had seem to be in love with them as well.
Anyway it had gotten dark a lot early than normal so you quickly made your way home.
However, no matter how fast you walked it was getting darker by the second so you
decided to take a short cut through a park. It was a park you were familiar with so
you knew it wouldn't take long to get home.
But something didn't seem right to you. It was akwardly quiet and you started to get
the feeling that something or someone was watching you. But you couldn't stop now
you had to get home before your parents started to get worried. So ignoring the feeling
of being watched you proceeded forward. Soon little rustles could be heard coming from near by bushes making you jump.
"I-is anyone there?"
No reply.
"I-it must be my imagination. . ."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that Bella~." Said an Italian voice.
You gasped right before something hard hit you in the back of the head causing
everything to go dark.
With eyes now wide opened you started to panic and struggled only causing you to
get rope burns. Questions started to run wildly through your mind. Where were you?
Who kidnnaped you? Why did they? And what did they plan on doing with you?
Your struggling soon caused the chair you rested in to topple over and hit the ground
with a rather loud crash. You could soon hear voices coming from outside the
room you rested in.
"Oh goodie, I do believe the poppet was woken up~."
"Heh, about time I was almost about to go in and wake her up with my bat."
"Or I coulda sent Kuma in there."
There was a mixture of other voices all talking at the same time. Soon, the door opened
making you close your eyes from the bright light. You felt as your chair was picked up and
set back up. You could now see your captors.
There were eleven men were in the room with you. Your mouth gapped open at them.
THEY WERE THE 2PS. And they had kidnapped you.
You had a good look at them starting with the Italy bros.
North Italy's clothes almost looked the same to his normal uniform but it was
a dark reddish brown. His hair was aslo darker, as for his eyes they a little more
red. Also he had a small hat ontop his head. Soth Italy barely looked like his original
but his curl was the same. His hair was blond and his clothes were more stylish.
You looked at Germany and Prussia next.
Germany like Italy also had a hat but the style was different. he had a brown jacket
over his shoulders. You also took notice of all the scars he had on him, and his violet
eyes. As for Prussia you noticed that he was quiet and didn't have that smirk he always
wore like his 1!P did. Prussia also had darker hair and blue eyes instead of red.
Canada and America were next.
Canada looked like a really grumpy person who just got out of bed. Hid curly hair
was tied back into a pony tail. His uniform was red and also hed held a bloody
hockey stick in his hand. America's hair was a deep dark brownish red with sunglass
above his forehead. He had a bomber jacket but it was more of a darker color. In his
hand was a bloody baseball bat with nails stickin out.
The next pair were China and Japan.
Japan's military was almost the same but it was black with a purple cape behind him.
He looked rather irrated and his eyes were not brown but were a dark shade of red.
China wore a black and red uniform. Also his hair was short under a dark hat.
Next was Russia.
His outfit was the same as his 1!P but it was black and red. Also instead of a light pink
scarf he wore a dark tan scarf wrapped around his neck.
Finally France and England.
France was really depressed looking and it looked as though he hadn't slept in months
from the dark bags under his eyes. He had darker hair and in his mouth he had a cigarette
in his mouth. As for England he was the most brightly colored one of the group. His eyes
were a mixture of pink and blue just like the outfit he wore. He had light strawberry hair
and around his neck was a blue bowtie.
You still had to think about what was going on til orth Italy broke the silence.
"Well Bella, you got your wish."
Then you remebered what he was talking about. You would always wish on things mostly
for the fun of it and it would always be the same wish. 'I wish Hetalia was real.'
But you never said which one.
You then turned to see Germany untying you from the ropes. You rubbed your wrists.
"W-what are you going to do with me?"
The brightly colored England waltz up to you.
"Well poppet we were going to let you decide which one of us you want to spend time with
and then you chooses one of us that you want to be with." He then gave you a smile.
Well in your situation you just decided to go along with it.
So you choose. . .


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Permissions management tends to be one of the areas that SharePoint Users have issues with in terms of understanding and over-engineering. Challenges with these differences can be minimized by considering these principles of permission management or thinking about how you want to optimize your information security.
Site Owners and users with the Full Control permission level have the Manage Permissions permission and can manage permissions on a particular securable object.
Default SharePoint groups and permissions