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Project Investigator Biography
Graham A. Colditz, M.D., Dr. P.H., F.A.F.P.H.M.
Washington University School of Medicine 660 S. Euclid Avenue Campus Box 8100 St. Louis, MO 63110-1093 phone: (314)454-7939 alt: (314)454-7940 fax: (314)454-7941 email: email@example.com |
Graham A. Colditz is the Associate Director of Prevention and Control at the Siteman Cancer Center at Washington University School of Medicine. Since fall 2006, he has overseen research, education, and community outreach in cancer prevention sponsored by the Center and leads the Program to Eliminate Cancer Disparities.
Dr. Colditz was born in Australia and received his B.Sc. and medical degree from the University of Queensland, Australia, and his M.P.H. and Doctorate in Public Health from Harvard University School of Public Health. In 1990 he was elected a Fellow in the Australian Faculty of Public Health Medicine, Royal Australasian College of Physicians.
For 25 years Dr. Colditz was at Harvard University where he served in a number of positions. From 1996-2006 he was principal investigator on the Nurses' Health Study, a longitudinal study established in 1976, of 121,701 nurses, investigating risk factors for major chronic diseases in women. He established and was principal investigator on the Growing Up Today Study relating diet and lifestyle of 16,883 adolescents ages 9 to 14 at entry to their growth and health outcomes. In 1998, he was promoted to full professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School and professor of epidemiology at the Harvard School of Public Health. Dr. Colditz was also associate director of Channing Laboratory, Department of Medicine, Brigham and Women's Hospital and Harvard Medical School from 2005-2006 just prior to coming to Washington University. He was director of the Harvard Center for Cancer Prevention at HSPH and within the Dana-Farber/Harvard Cancer Center he was deputy associate director for shared resources and leader of the Cancer Epidemiology Program.
With longstanding interest in the causes and prevention of chronic disease, particularly among women, Dr. Colditz has evaluated numerous lifestyle factors including postmenopausal hormone therapy and breast cancer risk, and has developed statistical models to more accurately predict cancer risk. Other areas of his expertise include tobacco and obesity in relation to cancer and other chronic diseases. He has devoted much effort to the application of scientific advances in cancer prevention to broader population programs working with the American Cancer Society and the Massachusetts Cancer Control Program. He also developed the website, http://www.yourdiseaserisk.wustl.edu, to communicate tailored prevention messages to the public.
Dr. Colditz served as editor-in-chief of the journal Cancer Causes and Control from 1998 to 2006. In 2004, Dr. Colditz was awarded the American Cancer Society-Cissy Hornung Clinical Research Professorship. In October 2006 on the basis of professional achievement and his commitment to public health, he was elected to membership of the Institute of Medicine, an independent body that advises the U.S. government on many issues affecting public health.
View Project Description


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When and Where to Plant: Select a sunny location and sow in late spring after soil warms. Cultivate soil and enrich with vegetable food and organic matter. Firm soil over the seeds and keep moist. Care: Keep soil moist and fertilize monthly. Don't worry when first blossoms fail to set fruit. Harvesting: Pick continuously to assure steady supply. Best when fruits are 4" to 6" long and skin is tender and easily punctured.
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Sparked fast, fizzled faster.
By Garden Knome
from oklahoma city ,ok
Best Uses
Comments about Early Straightneck Squash Seeds:
The plant began sprouting quickly and continue to grow and bloom but produced no fruit.
(1 of 1 customers found this review helpful)
a little disapointed
By vinnie deadfingero
from Orlando, FL
Grew like gangbusters, got one picking, then nothing. First time for straight squash, I'll stick with crook neck next time
good producer, yummy flavor
By dollbaby1966
from Auburn, CA
With only 2 plants we had as much squash as we could eat!
Starting a Vegetable Garden: Secrets to Success
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subset: commoncrawl


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'Issues' or America itself?
There are some very serious issues at stake in this year's election — so many that some people may not be able to see the forest for the trees. Individual issues are the trees, but the forest is the future of America as we have known it.
The America that has flourished for more than two centuries is being quietly but steadily dismantled by the Obama administration, during the process of dealing with particular issues.
For example, the merits or demerits of President Obama's recent executive order, suspending legal liability for young people who are here illegally, presumably as a result of being brought here as children by their parents, can be debated pro and con. But such a debate overlooks the much more fundamental undermining of the whole American system of Constitutional government.
The separation of powers into legislative, executive and judicial branches of government is at the heart of the Constitution of the United States — and the Constitution is at the heart of freedom for Americans.
No President of the United States is authorized to repeal parts of legislation passed by Congress. He may veto the whole legislation, but then Congress can override his veto if they have enough votes. Nevertheless, every President takes an oath to faithfully execute the laws that have been passed and sustained — not just the ones he happens to agree with.
If laws passed by the elected representatives of the people can be simply over-ruled unilaterally by whoever is in the White House, then we are no longer a free people, choosing what laws we want to live under.
When a President can ignore the plain language of duly passed laws, and substitute his own executive orders, then we no longer have "a government of laws, and not of men" but a President ruling by decree, like the dictator in some banana republic.
When we confine our debates to the merits or demerits of particular executive orders, we are tacitly accepting arbitrary rule. The Constitution of the United States cannot protect us unless we protect the Constitution. But, if we allow ourselves to get bogged down in the details of particular policies imposed by executive orders, and vote solely on that basis, then we have failed to protect the Constitution — and ourselves.
Whatever the merits or demerits of the No Child Left Behind Act, it is the law until Congress either repeals it or amends it. But for Barack Obama to unilaterally waive whatever provisions he doesn't like in that law undermines the fundamental nature of American government.
President Obama has likewise unilaterally repealed the legal requirement that welfare recipients must work, by simply redefining "work" to include other things like going to classes on weight control. If we think the bipartisan welfare reform legislation from the Clinton administration should be repealed or amended, that is something for the legislative branch of government to consider.
There have been many wise warnings that freedom is seldom lost all at once. It is usually eroded away, bit by bit, until it is all gone. You may not notice a gradual erosion while it is going on, but you may eventually be shocked to discover one day that it is all gone, that we have been reduced from citizens to subjects, and the Constitution has become just a meaningless bunch of paper.
ObamaCare imposes huge costs on some institutions, while the President's arbitrary waivers exempt other institutions from having to pay those same costs. That is hardly the "equal protection of the laws," promised by the 14th Amendment.
John Stuart Mill explained the dangers in that kind of government long ago: "A government with all this mass of favours to give or to withhold, however free in name, wields a power of bribery scarcely surpassed by an avowed autocracy, rendering it master of the elections in almost any circumstances but those of rare and extraordinary public excitement."
If Obama gets reelected, he knows that he need no longer worry about what the voters think about anything he does. Never having to face them again, he can take his arbitrary rule by decree as far as he wants. He may be challenged in the courts but, if he gets just one more Supreme Court appointment, he can pick someone who will rubber stamp anything he does and give him a 5 to 4 majority.
[Thomas Sowell is a senior fellow at the Hoover Institution, Stanford University, Stanford, CA 94305. His website is www.tsowell.com.] COPYRIGHT 2012 CREATORS.COM
- Thomas Sowell's blog
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President's have used Executive Order since before Lincoln.
However, legislation is not the only source of regulations which have the force of law. There is also judge-made common law and constitutional law. The President can issue executive orders pursuant to a grant of discretion from Congress, or under the inherent powers that office holds to deal with certain matters of foreign policy.
Many early executive orders were not recorded. The State Department began numbering executive orders in the early 20th century, starting retroactively from President Abraham Lincoln's Executive Order Establishing a Provisional Court in Louisiana issued in 1862
Check out the Executive Orders made by LBJ, Reagan, Bush W, Clinton, etc. Not all were within the 'foreign policy' area.
Our executive branch has yet to become a socialist dictatorship.
Our tax payers dollars are appropriated through the House of Representatives. First it must be brought up, passed, debated then passed again. (Over simplification but essentially correct).
This is done to make sure, well at least appear that they are spending our money in a transparent manner.
The Executive Branch however decided that going through Congress to appropriate funds was just to much trouble so Obama stole $9 Billion dollars for Farm aid.
I say stole simply because our representatives where not allowed to even debate it so....
But then again that's what dictators do.
What has this Congress done for the American people lately? (Except cause us to lose our credit rating) What do you have against the farmers of our country. There is a drought -remember? If any group needed 'aid' - it's our farmers. (Maybe you'd prefer to buy 'rice' from China?) We'll 'wait' for the T Party to debate - and then vote it down? The American people are tired of the do-nothings in this Congress. I believe that different ideologies will be represented - but we need leaders who know how to cooperate for the good of the people - not for the good of Norquist.
Rhetorical question: What is it that you don't know about?


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Mark Scarp: Walter Cronkite's name put Arizona State University's journalism school on the media map. Since Cronkite became the "face" of ASU journalism in 1984, the school began a quarter-century of improvement and expansion of its curriculum, the addition of top-flight faculty and in 2008, a new six-story building in downtown Phoenix, as well as growing amounts of private philanthropic support.
VIDEO: Walter Cronkite at ASU | SLIDESHOW: News legend remembered
Walter Cronkite dies at 92 | ASU journalism school reacts
Walter Cronkite's name put Arizona State University's journalism school on the media map. Since Cronkite became the "face" of ASU journalism in 1984, the school began a quarter-century of improvement and expansion of its curriculum, the addition of top-flight faculty and, in 2008, a new six-story building in downtown Phoenix, as well as growing amounts of private philanthropic support.
SLIDESHOW: News legend remembered
Most any American who knows even a little about Cronkite knows that he was an Easterner, a New Yorker. And when he took time off, he often went even farther east to sail in the Atlantic Ocean. Then why was the journalism school at Arizona State University, 2,500 miles west of Manhattan, the one that was named for the legendary CBS newsman?
Well, it's not as though Cronkite had never been here. He visited the state several times during his news career. Tom Chauncey II, son of the former owner of Phoenix's CBS affiliate, said Cronkite attended several meetings of television stations held at a Valley resort, and he had made side trips to the Grand Canyon and to the Chaunceys' one-time Arabian horse ranch in north Scottsdale.
But that connection wouldn't seem strong enough for Cronkite to bestow icon status to ASU when there were far more prominent journalism programs in other parts of the country. So how did ASU claim Cronkite's legacy?
The answer lies in part in the superb ratings performance of then-Phoenix CBS affiliate Channel 10 with the call letters KOOL-TV. Chauncey, son of the late Tom Chauncey Sr., said KOOL-TV had one of the highest audience shares of any CBS affiliate nationwide. At one point, KOOL's television news broadcasts had more than a 50 percent share, said Chauncey, who is a Phoenix attorney. That means of all the Valley TV sets turned on during the local news, more than 50 percent of them were tuned to Channel 10, something that in today's world of hundreds of channels could not be duplicated.
"People today have no clue as to what that meant," Chauncey said. "A big winner today is 3, maybe 4 percent (share)."
The elder Chauncey also was known to network officials as having led a successful effort years earlier to convince fellow station owners to let CBS expand its "Evening News" broadcast from 15 minutes to a half-hour, something Cronkite had sought.
"CBS and Walter Cronkite never forgot that," Tom Chauncey II said of his father's efforts.
Tom Chauncey Sr. was one of several Phoenix media leaders who huddled in the early 1980s over how to improve things at ASU's Department of Journalism, which the younger Chauncey said was going through "a difficult time without much support."
They decided to create an endowment fund and solicit for contributions to it. But they also agreed a big name should be attached to the campaign to collect donations. The elder Chauncey offered to recruit his good friend, Walter Cronkite. His son said he was in the room when his father made the call.
"They promised a new kind of journalism that would be very much supported by local community," Chauncey said. "We'd come up with a new teaching model with people who really knew what they were doing, and would he support it. And he said, sure."
According to the school Web site, the original endowment grew, and after only a few years, Cronkite also agreed to have his name put on the department itself, which was upgraded from department to "school."
Walter Cronkite is gone, and students at what he had often referred to as "my school" will no longer benefit from his annual visits, which allowed them to talk about accuracy and integrity in journalism with the flesh-and-blood version of their school's very big name.
The principles he stood for were just the thing more than 25 years ago for a journalism school in a community in the desert whose links to those precepts were as strong as any found along the Hudson River.
Mark J. Scarp of Scottsdale (email@example.com), a former Tribune editorial writer and columnist, is a faculty associate at ASU's Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass Communication.


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The best foundation I have ever used. It is perfect for my oily skin. My only complaint is the pump bottle, which others have mentioned.
I have been using this foundation for years. I use the Ivory color. I'm in my fifties and am fair and still a little oily t-zone. This matches my complexion perfectly and is so easy to put on and blend. The container is a glass bottle with a little pump. My only complaint is that when you get to the bottom of the bottle, the pump cannot get all of the foundation out. I try and scoop it out with a q-tip as to not waste any. Otherwise, wonderful product.
This is okay. It gives light but adequate coverage without that "makeup" finish. I found it a little thick and slightly too pink though(I am ridiculously yellow though so I can't really blame them). However, since it's sheer, you don't need a perfect match. Plus, it has no smell, which is a big bonus to me.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful. Did you? Yes No
I tried this on a whim because I rarely use foundation and I kinda wanted to. I was kinda reluctant at first because I didn't know if the color would match my skin but I was pleasantly surprised with the results. If I use a makeup sponge, my skin looks even. I don't have to use a lot to get good coverage.It lasts throughout the day even with my oily skin. I would recommend it.
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful. Did you? Yes No
This foundation is pretty good. It covers very lightly, yet evens out your skin tone and fades away any imperfections. The shades blends wonderfully. This is great for oily skin too, it stayed semi-matte on my oily skin. This is a good foundation if you want something that covers yet is light. I recommend this.
3 out of 3 people found this review helpful. Did you? Yes No


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Earlier this week I blogged my intention to work through the technical challenges from the Great Comic Relief Bake Off,
Earlier this week I blogged my intention to work through the technical challenges from the Great Comic Relief Bake Off,
This post is the last in my four Great Comic Relief Bake Off challenges. So far I have posted Chocolate Eclairs, Bakewel
My signature bake is my Bakewell tart. It always gets requested by my friends and family and has won me prizes in many a
I was recently sent the most delightful book to review. It appealed to several of my loves . . . Illustration, Trave
i know emily, change the record and stop talking about bakewell tarts. a few weeks ago i posted a bakewell tart macaron
Tarts were on the menu this week and it was all about not having a soggy bottom, sloppy middle or a burnt top. My quich
I was very pleased to see a second series of the Great British Bake Off this year, having enjoyed the first series a lot
Last week after watching the Great Comic Relief Bake Off, I set myself the challenge of attempting the four technical ch
We're halfway through series four of The Great British Bake Off already! The halfway point this year was biscuit week. W
I may have mentioned once or twice the challenges I have faced with making chocolate brownies with mini creme eggs. I ha
Did you all have a fantastic May? I sure hope you did. We've had an amazing month. Our rabbits had their first litter of
Ohhh these magic bean cakes - they're so addictive... Whether or not you're eating gluten free (and dairy free and grai
Welcome to October's Tea Time Treats Round-Up! I was delighted to announce, together with Marriage's Millers, a givea
This time last year I took a moment over the Christmas break to reflect on 2012. I've been doing a similar thing this ye
"The story of the finest tea to have been experienced by any cricketer of my acquaintance does not take place in the gre
What was I thinking? Maybe not much ... as usual ... eh ... just say not fully thought through. It really can be quite s
Cherry Bakewell Cupcakes / OXO GiveawayAugust 11, 2014 by Lisa | Sweet 2 Eat Baking 124 Comments These Cherry Bakewell
I, like so many am a big fan of the Great British Bake Off series, and am in awe with the wonderful bakes. I was slightl
I absolutely bloomin' well love Bakewell Tart! Now we are all clear about that fact you can make your very own courtesy
24th April 2012 Well with the remainder of my mum's birthday cake all gone (mainly eaten by my daughter I hasten to add
Mary Berry's Crème Caramel What's that you say? A whole Great British Bake Off episode deliciously dedicated to dessert


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Feb 25, 2013 9:21 AM by ASSOCIATED PRESS
ROME (AP) - Exit polls show Pier Luigi Bersani's center left coalition leading a national vote that is testing Italians' resolve to stay the course of painful economic reform.
Sky Italia says Bersani's coalition has taken 35.5 percent of the vote for the lower house of parliament, ahead of the center-right coalition under former Premier Silvio Berlusconi with 29 percent.
The poll by Tecne' has a margin of error of plus or minus 2.5 percent.
A political movement founded by comic-turned-political agitator Beppe Grillo is projected to take 19 percent of the vote, while outgoing Premier Mario Monti's centrist coalition has 9.5 percent.
Polls closed at 1400 GMT, ending two days of voting. The first projections based on partial vote counts are expected in coming hours.
(Copyright 2013 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.)
Offensive or inappropriate comments are subject to removal. To report a comment, please e-mail us at email@example.com, and include the name of the story and information on the comment.
Thank you! KSBY.com
2 hours ago


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Inspirational jewelry can hold special meaning for the wearer. Never Give Up necklace is fashioned from rainbow tourmaline and silver, with a pink crystal ball and angel wing. Pink is the color of universal love, and tourmaline is a legendary gem said to acquire its color from passing through a rainbow.
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Besides the intense listening experience, the new iLuv headphones are super at shutting out ambient noise. They're also ultimately portable, designed to work with most mobile devices, and ultimately adorable in red canvas for Valentine's Day.
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This is the book you're looking for!Be inspired and mesmerized by the connections and wonders that surround you. Joan's gifted style will pull you into amazing true stories that show us infinite possibilities and lift us to a higher consciousness. $12 autographed copy, ships in 2 days, 888.774.3667.
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Give a gift that lasts a lifetime. Share the gift of forgiveness and love through the powerful, healing Earth Prayer CD, and help heal the earth with your gift. 50 percent of proceeds support non-profits protecting water sources around the globe.
Check out our December/January issue!
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Contact the Law Office of Tammy Jaques for Aggressive Advocacy
Enhancing Our Ability to Assist You for Over 15 Years
Few criminal defense and family law lawyers in central Florida have garnered the legal knowledge and variety of experience of Tammy Jaques of the Law Office of Tammy Jaques, P.A.
Attorney Jaques' legal career began at the University of Central Florida, where she earned a bachelor's degree in criminal justice. Following a lengthy stint as a correctional probation officer, Ms. Jaques became a prosecuting attorney. Now she is a seasoned criminal defense lawyer with vast experience assisting youths and adults:
- Experience supervising adult felony offenders on probation
- In law school served as a Certified legal intern for a full-service legal clinic handling the needs of juvenile clients
- Eleven years of experience handling felony criminal appeals
- Experience working for the Felony Drug Unit in Daytona Beach
- Service for the DeLand office of the State Attorney as a lead trial attorney and docket supervisor handling the most serious of crimes, including vehicular homicide, DUI manslaughter, attempted homicide, home invasions, armed robbery, carjacking, kidnapping, drug trafficking, money laundering, sexual battery and child pornography
- Frequent lecturer for nurses, prosecutors and law enforcement agencies regarding search and seizure, report writing, evidence and sex crimes investigations
Attorney Jaques' extensive legal accomplishments and trial experience have resulted in a reputation as a knowledgeable and aggressive advocate in both criminal and family law. Now, after taking over 60 cases to trial and gaining extensive training and trial experience, Ms. Jaques has decided to put that experience to work for you. For more information and to schedule a no-charge consultation, please contact our firm.
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The Law Office of Tammy Jaques, P.A. offers free initial consultations, charges competitive rates, offers payment plans, accepts Visa and MasterCard and is conveniently located near Stetson University and the courthouse in downtown DeLand. To contact us, call 866-232-8783.


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Illinois Bankruptcy, Foreclosure Defense & Loan Modification Attorneys
In a turbulent economy, more and more people find themselves in difficult financial situations. At Newland & Newland, LLP, we work with individuals and families in difficult financial circumstances. Whether you are facing foreclosure or the possibility of bankruptcy, we can help you make informed decisions about your financial future. We assist clients in a variety of areas including:
Chapter 7 Bankruptcy – This is the process in which eligible debts are discharged. It is a quick process in which usually the case is closed within just a few months of being filed.
Chapter 13 Bankruptcy – Also called "reorganization" bankruptcy, this is the process in which filers create a repayment plan that allows them to repay all or a portion of their debts over a three or five year period while keeping their assets. At the end of Chapter 13 bankruptcy any remaining eligible debts are discharged.
Foreclosure Defense – We assist clients who are facing foreclosure in delaying the foreclosure proceedings and preventing the foreclosure. We counsel clients on the best strategies for their specific situation and aggressively defend our clients' rights in foreclosure hearings. By asserting a strong foreclosure defense we obtain leverage to get the banks to agree to terms that they were not willing to beforehand.
Loan Modification – We help clients negotiate more favorable and affordable terms with their lenders that allow both parties to avoid foreclosure. We are experienced in working with lenders to achieve positive results for our clients.
Life After Bankruptcy – We counsel clients on how to use the fresh start bankruptcy provides to improve their financial futures and avoid bankruptcy in the future.
The attorneys at Newland & Newland, LLP, are experienced in helping clients through the difficult times in their lives. We are good listeners who offer personalized legal counsel and services. To learn more about how we can assist you in any of our practice areas, contact us to schedule a free consultation. We have six offices in Northern Illinois to serve the entire Chicagoland area including Cook County, Lake County, DuPage County, McHenry County, Kane County, and Will County.


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February 8, 2011
To: Lyon-Martin Health Services Board of Directors
CC: Lyon-Martin Health Services Staff, San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee, San Francisco Board of Supervisors, Senator Mark Leno, Senator Leland Yee, Assembly Member Tom Ammiano, San Francisco Community Clinic Consortium Board of Directors, John Gressman
In the last ten days, our response to news of the possible closure of Lyon-Martin Health Services has been proactive and unequivocal. We have helped raise over $225,000, mobilized thousands of community supporters, and gained the attention of local and national media. We're committed to continuing our organizing and fundraising efforts to keep the clinic open. Lyon-Martin provides quality healthcare and mental health services to people regardless of their ability to pay. Closure of this clinic would leave many of our most vulnerable community members without access to care.
In moving forward with our work, we ask the Board to:·
- Publicly commit to a course of action to keep the clinic open and avoid bankruptcy
- Provide the community with public weekly updates of the current business, financial and legal status of Lyon-Martin Health Services
We look forward to the Board's partnership in returning this crucial community resource to financial stability and full operations. Keep the clinic open!
Lyon-Martin Health Services Clients and Community Supporters


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Robert J. Sawyer, whose 2002 sci-fi novel,''Hominids'' -- about an alternative Earth where Neanderthals survived to the present -- just won the Hugo award, recommends Terence M. Green's Shadow of Ashland (Forge, $13.95).
This novel reminds me of W.P. Kinsella's Shoeless Joe -- it's got that same sense of wonder, gentle implausibility, and deep insight into the human condition. Leo Nolan's mother wants to see her long-lost brother, Jack, one last time before she dies. Jack too seems to desire a connection across time: Letters he posted half a century ago are only now arriving in the mail. I gasped when, years ago, I first read Shadow's final, emotionally charged paragraph, and I find myself gasping again every time I think about it. A true gem.


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Follow-Up Postings:
- Posted by wildflowerman_2000 North Carolina in Z- (firstname.lastname@example.com) on Wed, Feb 24, 10 at 14:20
Just keep an eye on them until they start to turn brown(Drying out) and splitting. This is usually about 3-4 months after they bloom. If you are worried about missing them you can use the foot off an old pair of womens hose to slip around them to catch the seed before they fall out. Mark |
- Posted by karyn1 MD 7 (firstname.lastname@example.com) on Thu, Feb 25, 10 at 10:15
Thanks. I'll probably cover them with some old stockings because I'll be out of town in a couple weeks and with my luck that's when they'll decide to ripen. |
karyn, I don't think those will be ripe in a couple of weeks, but of course it doesn't hurt to bag those you especially want. I use a square of nylon stocking and a twist tie. When ripe the pods will look more dry, tan, rounded. My own plants had emerging flower stems in early December this year, have been in full bloom for some time now. My spring will be cooler than yours, but I typically don't have ripe seed until June. |
- Posted by karyn1 MD 7 (firstname.lastname@example.com) on Thu, Feb 25, 10 at 19:09
Thanks for the info. Like I said I have them in the yard but never really pay much attention to them other then enjoying the flowers. I have no idea what's going on with the plants outside as they are still under a couple feet of snow. If the pods take 5 or so months to ripen then I have quite a while to go yet. BTW how many years does it take a seed grown plant to reach blooming size? I have a couple that I started from seed 2 years ago and they aren't anywhere near big enough to bloom. |
It depends on the plant, and climate. Some are more vigorous than others - in my garden, seed grown Mrs. Betty Ranicar and Heronswood (the former, not the present)Dark Purple have bloomed at 18 mo old, and out of season at that, throwing a bloom or two in summer. More typical is not to have a good show of flowers until they reach age 3, even 4, although it is possible to be teased by a flowering stem here and there with two yr olds. Are your plants still containerized or do you have them in the ground. I find the oriental hybrids at least will really thrive/grow once planted and are slower in pots, especially if not moving them up in pot size. |
- Posted by karyn1 MD 7 (firstname.lastname@example.com) on Sat, Mar 6, 10 at 10:16
Thanks. These are still in 4" pots because I'm not sure where to plant them. If I can't figure out where they'll go I'll bump them up to 6". Unfortunately I have very little shade and most is already taken up. I have to wait for other plants/shrubs to get large enough to be able to provide shade. |
Karyn, most are more shade tolerant than dependent on shade, these really are not strictly shade plants.... I think you'll find they will take more sun than you would imagine. My summers are certainly more mild than your own, but I have several thriving in full sun, no shade. |
- Posted by karyn1 MD 7 (email@example.com) on Mon, Mar 8, 10 at 0:04
That's nice to know. I was always under the impression that they needed almost complete shade. In that case I have space that only receives morning sun that might work. |
- Posted by rosemctier z5/6 waynesburg PA (My Page) on Mon, May 24, 10 at 18:09
was wondering what the status of your seeds was. did they ever turn into developed seeds? |
- Posted by karyn1 MD 7 (email@example.com) on Thu, May 27, 10 at 11:30
I collected quite a few mature seeds towards the end of Mar and those have been planted. My hellebores that were outside bloomed later and I just collected those seeds the other day. As a matter of fact I posted a question this morning about storing them. |
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A struggling musician inherits a mystical amulet that contains the living soul of Elvis. He accepts a charter from... more
Hudson Falls
A teenage camping trip turns into a nightmare when they disturb a psychotic witch hunter. Think FRIDAY THE 13th...
- Concept
- Character
- Dialogue
- Story
- Structure
- Overall
A teenage camping trip turns into a nightmare when they disturb a psychotic witch hunter. Think FRIDAY THE 13th meets BLAIR WITCH PROJECT Scary, sexy, funny... welcome to Hudson Falls.
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Reviews of Hudson Falls 10
A review of Hudson Fallsby swarren on 05/04/2010People think slasher films are junk. That they're quickly thrown together and easy to make. The bad ones are, sure. But there's actually an art to making the good ones. It's actually one of the more rigidly structured genres you can tackle. The classics have rigid structures based around often extravagant set pieces. Murders tend to happen about every ten minutes. This... People think slasher films are junk. That they're quickly thrown together and easy to make. The bad ones are, sure. But there's actually an art to making the good ones. It's actually one of the more rigidly structured genres you can tackle. The classics have rigid structures based around often extravagant set pieces. Murders tend to happen about every ten minutes. This allows time for the audience to relax and then build the tension for the next kill. Character needs to be delivered quickly and economically. Theme needs to tie in with your killer's motivation. It's hard to do a good slasher. That's why there's so many bad ones. Unfortunately I don't think you managed to write a good one.
You take your time dealing with witches and the history of the place. When the actual slashing happens, it feels like that's all lost. It becomes a very standard take on the genre. It feels, in a way, like the Friday the 13th redux that came out last year, with the two groups of kids on opposite sides of the lake. It would be nice to somehow see the witchcraft stuff carry through the piece and ultimately tie it all together. The Witchfinders did all kinds of screwed up things to potential witches. If you look into that dark past and you'll come up with dozens of horrible ways to dispatch victims. They'll certainly be more interesting than a plain old axe to the back.
When you finally return to the witchery, it feels like an after thought. George should probably be more pro-active in catching Dana. Right now she just kind of stumbles into the woods, because of her friends, and George only finds out she's there because of a coincidental radio conversation. That just feels all kinds of wrong. Junk that. This should be all about destiny and fate and all that jazz. George should know where Dana will be the moment he sees her.
Another issue with the set-up is how long it takes. We're halfway through the piece before anything happens. And by anything, in slasher film terms, this means kills. Taking 45 pages seems a bit much. Again, the conventions and expectations of the genre, dictate a lot more blood and gore being spilled at a quicker pace. You really should break the kids up some more and dole out more stalk and slash fun. 45 minutes is a long time to go without bloodshed of some sort. It pays to deliver on genre expectations.
Stock characters are fine, but they have to work in believable ways. There were several little moments that just seemed false to me. A lot of the references they made, Schindler's List, America's Funniest and Junkyard Wars all seemed dated and not really age appropriate. Maybe if this were five or ten years ago, but not now. The characters also behaved in weird ways; Monica being bored right after witnessing a decapitation, Dana going from terrified to fascinated by the woods. Just weird mood swings that took me out of the moment and made me question what was going on. I also think everyone was far too chatty for the circumstances, like when the car crashes. Would they really have time to do the exchange they make?
Overall I was let down by the script. I do think there's plenty of potential here to do something fast, fun and exciting. I just don't think it's all there. You just need to get everything working together and get this into a cohesive script. I hope my comments are helpful should you pursue another draft of this. Good luck with your material. read -
A review of Hudson Fallsby Nightmare18 on 07/12/2009i just fin finshed reading your screenplay and it was awesome, and i'm not just saying that, it really had what i would look for in a horror screenplay, it had murder, sex (or striptease in this case), it had likeable characters, you wrote them in a sense that makes you feel bad that they died, also great suspense element, i diddn't think sean was going to die. and i just gotta... i just fin finshed reading your screenplay and it was awesome, and i'm not just saying that, it really had what i would look for in a horror screenplay, it had murder, sex (or striptease in this case), it had likeable characters, you wrote them in a sense that makes you feel bad that they died, also great suspense element, i diddn't think sean was going to die. and i just gotta say i liked the ending but it could have been better, sorry if you take it the wong way but yeah it was kinda unsatfiying, so if you can rewrite the ending i would defitly read that ending cause this is a awesome blend on slasher and supurnatural.... overal great story 9/10
love: Steve G. JR aka Nightmare18 ^__^ read -
A review of Hudson Fallsby CMeziere on 07/09/2009Even though I am not a fan of rehashed horror movie cliches I must say that reading your script didn't make me cringe as much as I thought it would. Yes, it takes place in the woods. Yes, there is a small town sheriff involved. Yes, there is an axe wielding maniac. But you add a very fresh voice to the genre. It didn't feel like reading a half-assed attempt at making a few... Even though I am not a fan of rehashed horror movie cliches I must say that reading your script didn't make me cringe as much as I thought it would. Yes, it takes place in the woods. Yes, there is a small town sheriff involved. Yes, there is an axe wielding maniac. But you add a very fresh voice to the genre. It didn't feel like reading a half-assed attempt at making a few bucks by a philosophy major drop-out, rather, a well thought out (though not very original) story, written by a seasoned writer. I hope to read more of your work in the future.
A few notes from me if you don't mind:
Apart from a handful of typos and mistakes such as on pg. 13 where Nitin says something that I don't think was meant for his character, I haven't as many notes as I usually do, which is a good thing.
It appears the story takes place in NY. Correct me if I'm wrong. If it does, you need to change things like kilometers and torch, to miles and flashlight. But if I'm wrong, then I'm wrong.
And lastly, I think that one move to improve the story by leaps and bounds, would be to give Billie any weapon other than an axe. It's been done too many times. Perhaps a baseball bat with long nails driven through it. Or maybe a spear. Just a suggestion.
But like I said, you have a wonderful voice and your work is a pleasure to read. And the story flows very well from scene to scene. Good luck in all that you do! read -
A review of Hudson Fallsby dbenamor on 07/08/2009p1 "flame torches" it's 1692 we will assume torch is with a flame. p2 writing "SOUND CROSSOVER" may be taken as the writer telling the editor what to do. It's already there in the action description, no need to force it so much. p2 Judy Simpson has a speaking role and a name but is not capitalized upon introduction p4 "JACK PROUD" silly-sounding name. p5 Schindler's List... p1 "flame torches" it's 1692 we will assume torch is with a flame.
p2 writing "SOUND CROSSOVER" may be taken as the writer telling the editor what to do.
It's already there in the action description, no need to force it so much.
p2 Judy Simpson has a speaking role and a name but is not capitalized upon introduction
p4 "JACK PROUD" silly-sounding name.
p5 Schindler's List line is funny but REALLY dates your script. People might be less likely to
by a script that says "Present Day" is what, over 10 years ago?
p7 really noticeable to me that I am having difficulty distinguishing the voice of the characters,
they all sound similar.
p13 accidentally wrote Nitin where it seems like George is the one speaking line "Nice bunch of kids"
p14 again might want to watch out i think you're not supposed to "edit" a spec, putting fade to black in the middle of it might be considered that.
p14 different cars should be different headings not subheadings.
p18 weird out of left field use of "nigger"
p21 unclear why it is time to go, just because some alarm on jack's phone? for what reason did he set alarm?
p22 "We hear" avoid "We" in spec script. It's a no-no and just takes the reader out of the story.
p22 how would we see Billie's eye bulge if it's from Billie's POV?
p25ish a ton of expository dialogue, probably worthwhile to just cut to a montage or something then go back to Nitin finishing the story, visual is better than exposition.
p27 straight up racial stereotype. "I'm black. It would take all of you guys to just lift it."
p29 very cliched fake out.
p33 "could have been killed" how?
p34 she is afraid of area so being ALONE is her answer? This is another horror cliche, the strange insistince on being alone.
p36 typo "extorsion"
p38 the friend arriving as shock scare is also a big horror cliche.
p41 Dana completely ignoring Jack basically being pulled underwater is ridiculous. It also
doesn't fit her character, she's the only one who has the most reason to be truly scared.
p41-42 there is an almost identical scene with a camera in the film "House of Wax" (the Paris Hilton version)
p42 Nitin has 2 lines in a row, it looks like one was supposed to be Tom.
p45 Hallejuh. Finally something happens. I think you took too long to get to the first kill, personally, but you did a nice job setting it up "Nothing is going to happen"
p46 cliche friend-trying-to-scare-you bit again.
p48 finding some way to make noise at the worst possible moment alerting the killer another horror cliche.
p49 typo "sides" instead of slides.
p50 "Bored, she pulls out her nail file" ludicrous, approaching satire at that point.
p53-54 funny that he puts down axe and kills her with nail file.
p54 you can't just do subheadings for inside cars it's a new location.
p55 misuse of subheadings again. Subheadings are for small areas within a location, i.e. if it's
a good subheading would be
p56 Seriously? He stabs a knife next to her as a joke? You are beating this dead horse into the ground. What's next? He almost shoots her with a gun, ha-ha? This feels unbelievable.
p60 "She follows" implies Jack went first, confusing.
p66-67 this worked. Good character moment, provided reason to miss Billie leaving without resorting to some horror cliche. Do more of this!
p70 why would he wriggle out? because there was a silence for a SECOND? When the audience is smarter than your protagonists, that's not a good thing.
p71 somehow making noise at worst possible time, even if you dropped mp3 it would probably not turn on, either way this is big cliche.
p72 isn't their camp nearby? shouldn't she have looked for the keys there?
p78 format error with george dialogue middle of page.
p80 "skips" skips?
p83 missing punctuation on mary line "Simon, no"
p85 slamming into man right in front of you who magically appeared there while you looked away
for one second. Horror cliche.
p86 falls inside cowboy boot, pretty convenient.
p90 Jack falls over twice without getting up.
p91 last gasp of bad guy after he should have been down for the count...cliche.
p91 "What happened?" what'd he pass out for 3 seconds?
p92 if Zachary had vest why didn't he do anything this whole time?
Some teens get killed by some dudes. For the 1,000 time. The ghost/spiritual possession angle offers something fresh, but i didn't feel it was enough to reinvigorate the otherwise tired concept.
Kind of a collection of cliches, the nerdy guy, the horny couple, the girl with a haunted past, the unrequited love interest, the big silent killer manchild. Not a lot of new characters here with the exception of George, who is sort of chatty and funny until he reveals his true nature later.
It was very tough to tell the difference between the majority of the characters voices. It's a hard thing to pull off, but characters should speak differently enough that if I pulled out one line of Tom's dialogue, for example, it couldn't be spoken by Nitin or Jack. That's not the case here.
This could easily be Jason 27, you know what I mean? You've already got the lake, the big silent killer, the dying teens, it's all pretty familiar. The fact that the script indulges in standard horror cliches only heightens the feeling this is something we've all seen many times before.
It was a quick read though, which in my book means you did a nice job with the story structure. That being said I think you could get to the first teen kill sooner, I think it occurs here around p43.
I don't think I have to tell you you've got a very average horror script here. I suspect you realize this is not reinventing the wheel. You even say in your notes you aren't going for anything clever. But even if all you aimed for was a typical horror setup the execution can be much stronger. Lose the cliches, amp up the characterization and dialogue, pump in some originality even if you want to keep the setup the same.
It feels like a regular horror movie. I have seen tons of these. It is no different. So....
Good luck
Dan Benamor read -
A review of Hudson Fallsby agilitygsd on 07/07/2009Hudson Falls is well written for the genre, very visual and the story has the requisite scary scenes that will make the audience jump out of their seats. Jack jumping out of the lake, the axe and decapitation of Nitin, the axe embedding in the wood at the dock, rope over Jack's neck all should have their desired impact. The back story, with the flashback scenes and the resemblances... Hudson Falls is well written for the genre, very visual and the story has the requisite scary scenes that will make the audience jump out of their seats. Jack jumping out of the lake, the axe and decapitation of Nitin, the axe embedding in the wood at the dock, rope over Jack's neck all should have their desired impact. The back story, with the flashback scenes and the resemblances of Dana/Mary, Zachary/Simon and George/John is very well done.
You incorporate all the conventions of the slasher genre, target audience/age appropriate stereotypes, with the cliched dick jokes and banter. The characters do stupid illogical things and the killers have something convenient at their disposal (in this case the spikes to put the corvette out of commission).
I am not your target audience - a slasher film aficionado - so it is difficult to separate genre conventions from plot holes but -
Things that didn't work for me -
We start off with the group loading into an SUV filled with camping and video gear - yet no one but Nitin knows where they are going - so why did Jack bring the camping gear? Ok, he likes to be prepared. But you've also got 3 girls coming along for the ride - they surely weren't planning on going camping and for Jack to have 5 identical tents just doesn't make sense. If he is trying to get closer to Dana - having fewer tents would make even more sense. But I have a real problem buying an unplanned camping trip. Dana and Jack are 17 - her adoptive mother would have to give permission - Better to have them the same age as the rest of the group so that you can eliminate this one obstacle to plausibility. I also think making it a planned trip - but with the destination a surprise would still work just fine. A girl like Monica going on a camping trip really stretches the bounds of plausibility and her reactions to the events just don't do anything for the story or tone.
Dana wants to go home immediately and after the fake attack, insists on being taken home, goes so far as to try and take the Corvette - and when prevented - wants to stalk off into the woods alone. Just does not make sense. If you want to get Dana and Jack alone do it - but Dana has acted too rationally to go off in the woods alone. You also have the gang insisting she can't walk through the woods to the highway alone - but then everyone lets her walk into the woods alone? Just seems contradictory.
Also, Billie seems to get around the lake pretty fast considering he is transporting bodies and killing in between. He got Nitin's, Sandy's and Monica's bodies from one side of the lake to the other in almost superhuman time.
Where does the rowboat come from? It's just left on the lake for 30-40 years and is still serviceable?
As soon as Sean was introduced I just knew he was going to get the chop - but then you had him appear at the modern burning at the stake scene and I thought - here's a twist - he didn't kill off the token black guy - that's breaking with convention - but alas - you go ahead and give him the chop. I really think this would have more impact with Jack being the one this happens to. Jack is not really the romantic lead - Simon is - so you could kill him off and let Sean live. This would be unexpected and give us something a little different.
Billie is just kind of a typical psycho - adding George into the equation elevates the story out of just a standard slasher - but I think I would have liked to have seen him involved sooner. His reaction to Dana at the store should have been a little more mysterious/foreshadowing. Why would he warn the kids about the lake if he wants to end the curse. I would have liked to see more of a tie in with the other missing, since this is written off as all being tied into the curse of Mary Black. We know because of his resemblance to John Goodwin, that he is involved - so there needs to be more to tie him into the disappearances.
Running notes:
pg. 1 - Some differences in American English / British English: but miss-deeds should be misdeeds & practising / practicing, torch / flashlight (this also would make it where you don't have to say flamming torches - they could just be torches), kilometers / miles.
Your miss-deeds are matters of
historical fact.
I think this would read better as a matter of record rather than historical fact.
pg. 2 - The thug tosses the flame torch onto the pyre, which
ignites. FLAMES spread quickly, smoke rises. Mary coughs.
The crowd JEER and shout various abuses.
You don't really need the "which ignites".
The crowd JEER[S]
Marys nightgown catches
fire, turn[s] her body into a fireball. []Mary screams...
pg. 6 - NITIN
What are you talking about? I just
brought along the video camera stuff.
The camping gear is Jacks.
Maybe just video [] stuff - sounds more natural.
pg. 13 - Nitin smirks, leaves.
George watches the group through the window. Fran joins
Nice bunch of kids. Nice car, too.
Shouldn't this be Fran or George's dialogue instead of Nitin?
pg. 33 - JACK
What were you playing at? You could have
been killed.
Why would Jack say this - he's the one that threw himself in front of the corvette?
pg. 34 - DANA
I said, alone.
Dana disappears between the trees.
If Dana is really so scared would she go off into the trees alone?
pg. 34 - OSCAR (V.O.)
Ouch! Are you still mad about the result
last weekend? It's not my fault that the
Red Socks are a team of pussies.
Ouch! Are you still mad about the [game]
last weekend? It's not my fault that the
Red Socks are a team of pussies.
pg. 42 - Nitin gives him a cold stare.
Are you gay?
Im not gay.
Should the first bit of dialogue be Tom's?
pg. 74 - There is a red
mark on her forehead (from the shotgun).
You do several things like this and it just isn't necessary - we know its from the shotgun.
pg. 78 - Where would a grocer get sodium pentathol or whatever is supposed to be in the syringe?
pg. 83 - Mary strokes Simon['s] face.
pg. 84 - Same note as when this scene appeared before.
Also - don't really need to say flame torches - it is implied (except in the UK where it means flash light.)
read -
A review of Hudson Fallsby J.G.Blodgett on 07/07/2009Hudson Falls is the story of a present day, deranged killer possessed by a past, deranged killer - and in that respect, it was a success. I like the classic plays on "Friday The 13th" and other slasher flicks. The beginning teaser was a good way to start, and the road trip to camp was good - I think maybe some more drug play though. All of the scares and killings were done... Hudson Falls is the story of a present day, deranged killer possessed by a past, deranged killer - and in that respect, it was a success.
I like the classic plays on "Friday The 13th" and other slasher flicks. The beginning teaser was a good way to start, and the road trip to camp was good - I think maybe some more drug play though. All of the scares and killings were done well. It was slow at first, but when the killings started, they did not stop until the end - good stuff.
There were a few typos, and mentions of "we" a few times. "we" indicates the audience, and is frowned on by most of these critics on this site. I don't mind them personally - as long as it helps the story - necessary sacrifices.
I enjoyed the dialogue very much - very smart and witty throughout. All of the characters were classic horror dummies - good job.
I felt the story played out well throughout also. The flashbacks, or "visions", were placed very well. And the ending was kind of cool too - love the cheesy one-liners.
The following are mostly typos - thought I'd help you find a few:
pg 13 - I think you wanted either GEORGE or FRAN to say "Nice bunch of kids. Nice car too", but you had Nitin saying it.
pg 35 - "jam jar on *he* window ledge"
pg 35 - OSCAR says "I'd thought they'd" only one needs to be the *'d*
pg 42 - should be "I think I'm going to *cum*" not *come*
pg 42 - should be TOM asking "Are you gay?"
- that reminds me, you have quite a few questions with no question marks - sorry, I didn't note them.
pg 49 - says "she *sides* off the blades, should be *slides*
pg 60 - says *ANA*, should be *DANA*
pg 67 - DANA says "That was cheap shot", needs an *a*
pg 78 - GEORGE'S dialogue "Mary? Mary?" is in the action line area
pg 87 - DANA says "So why go *though* this again?", needs to be *through*
So as you can see, all my notes were mainly typos. The story I thought was very fun and well portrayed. Your story needs some rewrites of course, but who's doesn't. Keep up the good work.
Review by
read -
A review of Hudson Fallsby FsuBuckeye on 07/06/2009Hey, I just finished reading your script, Hudson Falls. Here are my thoughts, let me know if you have any questions! Overview: (Where's the Title Page?!?!?) Pros: The story had a very interesting beginning, I enjoyed how you appealed to the sense of sound in the script also, using it cleverly as a transition to get from one scene to another. You also had some pretty solid... Hey, I just finished reading your script, Hudson Falls. Here are my thoughts, let me know if you have any questions!
Overview: (Where's the Title Page?!?!?)
The story had a very interesting beginning, I enjoyed how you appealed to the sense of sound in the script also, using it cleverly as a transition to get from one scene to another. You also had some pretty solid horror/ slasher film elements when it came to building suspense throughout the script.
There were also some points in which I chuckled because of the situations that your characters found them in. Speaking of characters, I think that the way you introduce them (as far as descriptions are concerned) was fairly well done; I had an image of each character in my head at all times. I think of all of your characters, I was drawn to Jake the most because he was the purest of heart so to say, of all the characters and I genuinely wanted him to succeed.
Another thing that I thought was well done was the pace of the script, it definitely was just long enough to give me a satisfying feel of slash without dragging on. The last thing I have to say is that you came up with some very creative ways to kill off your characters.
I would say that the characters fell almost too cleanly into their stereotypes, it was as if they were completely brainless and interchangeable. In fact, the only person I actually cared about in the entire script was Jack...the only problem with that is he is not your main character.
While I thought they were interesting to have, I do feel that the role of most of your characters was to actually die, I don't even believe that they were friends with each other, which kinda showed throughout the entire script with their less-than-shocked reactions from their friends being slaughtered. Throwing in Humor at awkward times (like after someone's head being cut off and Monica saying 'I'm bored') made the script hard to take seriously.
There were also things about Dana I didn't understand; on page 16 she is terrified and wants to leave but then on page 19 she is off exploring by herself, I don't think someone that is genuinely terrified would actually do that. Stereotypes, while funny, actually kind of pushed the limits here and my suggestion is to omit things such as freely throwing around the n word; you never know who is going to read your script and the last thing you want to do is give them a reason to write you off because of those remarks.
I think it would be much more of an interesting story if you cut out maybe half of the characters and made them unique. Maybe the black guy is the nerd and the Indian guy has the hot blonde girlfriend; but on top of that, you should cut out characters so that you can spend time building relationships between them, because (once again) I didn't care about anyone other than Jack. Also, all but 3 of your characters die...that seems a bit much.
Your writing was pretty strong, but there were moments where you had unnecessary additions; those came in the form of either over explaining something (like when Jack watches Dana in the diner and you say 'obviously fancies her' which was already implied). Or even randomly assigning names to characters that have no significance; for example, rather than just calling him CHEF, you gave him a full name which is completely unnecessary.
Also, be careful about directing too much in your script, things like We see this or we see that really belong in a shooting script, the job of this script is to tell the story with as little directorial directions as possible.
Characters: 10/25
There were definitely a creative group of characters. The only thing is that I felt that I only cared about Jack; maybe because he was the only one that wasn't playing a social stereotypes.
Writing: 20/25
The writing again was pretty good, just try to not direct us so much and remember that less is more! Instead of telling us through dialogue, show us through their actions.
Coherence: 15/25
It came full circle, but some of the actions didn't really make sense and I didn't understand why your characters behaved the way they did.
Believability: 15/25
I honestly couldn't buy the concept of the story, and then I didn't buy how lighthearted everyone was when the people around them were being killed.
I have a few more detailed notes if you need to know more specifics. Please feel free if you have any questions about anything! read -
A review of Hudson Fallsby 1987brian on 07/04/2009Your writing is excellent, very professional, clear and straight to the point. No long paragraphs of needless information which made this a breeze to read through. Its probably one of the quickest screenplays Ive read. The story was fairly standard and nothing ground breaking but that can be said for nearly every slasher on the market nowadays. The most important thing,... Your writing is excellent, very professional, clear and straight to the point. No long paragraphs of needless information which made this a breeze to read through. Its probably one of the quickest screenplays Ive read.
The story was fairly standard and nothing ground breaking but that can be said for nearly every slasher on the market nowadays. The most important thing, however, is that this was fun. The interaction between the characters was the strongest point of the script. I laughed at many of the lines and was counting the pages til the next guy made a joke about the size of his or someone elses private parts.
You handled the two time periods well. The dialogue in the scenes from 1692 sounded natural to me, although Im far from an expert on that subject. It did confuse me for a minute when George said he had been waiting 300 years for this, and to be honest, it still isnt 100% clear to me. Maybe you could add a few lines of dialogue to fully clarify this. The opening scene was powerful but little else happened for another 40 or so pages, which runs the risk of disappointing slasher fans.
Characters were good. The dialogue helped immensely with that. Dana, however, came across a bit flat in places. There were times earlier in the script when I was wondering why her friends put up with her. Like when she completely over reacted after the ghost story and wanted to drive home, it didnt do anything for her character. In a good number of her lines early on, she did nothing but moan and question things. There are other ways you can show her having fun with her friends while showing the problems she had with the letter are still on her mind. First impressions are everything, and I cant say I liked Dana in the first 30 pages. In contrast, later on in the script, she shares a joke and laughs with Jack while the killer is in sight standing by the boat. Talk about bad timing. The end result was, when she was tied to the stake, I didnt really feel bad for her, which I should do as shes the lead.
The only other character I had a problem with was Billie. He is our main bad guy but I dont think we really got to find out how scary he really is. There was a great opportunity for some suspense when Jack and Dana found the earrings while he entered the house. Instead of a chase around the creepy old house, or even just them hiding while he passes by only a few feet away or something, they bail out quickly with only Jacks jacket getting caught in the window the only obstacle. Also the name struck me as rather odd. Billie Piper? It was hard to imagine a psycho killer called Billie Piper when he has the exact same name as the famous English actress or pop star, whatever. Maybe die hard Dr Who fans will find this a little distracting, it was not a major problem for me but Ill mention it incase it does bother others. The rest of the characters did their job, Monica did seem a bit odd as she wasnt scared when the killing started but other than that, you did a great job.
The death scenes satisfied me. Special mention for Sandy running into the blades she found earlier. That was different and unexpected. I also liked the nail file in the eye death, it was a welcome change from the axe. All the deaths were very sudden though. There wasnt much in the way of long chase scenes or suspense or tension before the deaths. Maybe you could someone trying to escape in the car and Billie giving chase in his truck or something to mix it up a bit. Or a longer, more suspenseful scene in the junk yard as Billie tries to find someone hiding there, maybe have someone fight back and get the better of Billie at one point. Things to consider anyway.
Small note, I didn't find much mistakes but I wasn't really looking. I did notice two cases of you using Nitin's name in the dialogue when you were meaning other characters. Nitin should be George on page 13 near the bottom and Nitin should be Tom on page 42, last line of dialogue.
Overall, I was very pleased that I got to read this. It was very professional writing from someone who obviously knows what they are doing. It was a fun read and a very quick one at that. Well done! read -
A review of Hudson Fallsby fencik on 07/03/2009Hudson Falls is another killer in the woods story (a sub-genre all its own), shockingly unoriginal right down to the choice of locales. Cliched characters drive out to the spooky woods and spout flaccid dialogue (the black guy talks about his big penis) until the killer shows up and then things get really predictable. Like Norman Bates the script suffers from a split... Hudson Falls is another killer in the woods story (a sub-genre all its own), shockingly unoriginal right down to the choice of locales. Cliched characters drive out to the spooky woods and spout flaccid dialogue (the black guy talks about his big penis) until the killer shows up and then things get really predictable.
Like Norman Bates the script suffers from a split personality disorder. Although compared to Friday the 13th it often reads more like Idle Hands. One is a horror film, it may be unintentionally funny but its supposed to scare you. The other is a comedy, it may look like a horror film but its supposed to make you laugh. You have to decide what kind of film Hudson is supposed to be. If its a horror film it needs to be scarier, if its a comedy it needs to be funnier.
If you want to scare people, once the killing starts the characters need to behave as if their lives are in mortal dangerat all times. For instance, when Dana and Jack are hiding out (pages 65-68) they dont seem all that concerned about the guy with the ax, hunting them. I understand Jack wants to get laid, but come on.
If you want to make people laugh the dialogue and situations need to be funnier. There are several humorous lines in the script, but too often the dialogue only undercuts the supposed tension and jars the readers suspension of disbelief.
The scene where Dana pulls the nailfile from Monicas eye socket could work in a horror film or a comedy. Its an inspired moment, funny, grotesque and memorable. Whatever you decide to do, this script could use more scenes like that.
The most interesting character in the story is George. Where the other characters are soulless cardboard cutouts George has an interesting back story which provides his character with strong motivation. The scenes between him and Dana are some of the best in the script.
Finally, where does this story take place exactly? It sort of reads like its set in the U.S., but then the road signs are in kilometers. Have you ever considered setting this story somewhere in England?
Good luck.
No title page?
Page 1 - His clothes are torn and dirty, vents anger in Goodwins direction. Huh?
Page 2 - Dont reveal that Danas a dead-ringer for Mary until after she pulls off her helmet.
Need to do a better job of setting the scene. EXT. LOWELL, HURD STREET doesnt reveal very much. You dont have to be specific or even factual, but is this a small town or a big city? Is it near the coast or in the mid-west?
Judys name should be in caps.
Page 3 - Dana and Judy stand at tables, note down food orders. You mean take orders?
Page 4 - Why is Mark Simpsons name in parentheses?
What is this? Pay per view? Funny line
Page 5 - Schindlers List? What year is this present day? And they already did that joke on Seinfeld.
Page 13 - Nitin says, Nice bunch of kids?
A sign reads, Hudson Falls, 10 Kilometers. Kilometers? Is this story set in the U.S.?
Page 14 - Its not the screenwriters job to decide whats shot in slow motion.
No need to write (MOS) or FADE TO BLACK.
Instead of INSIDE THE SUV (PRESENT), simply use a standard slug line: INT. SUV - DAY. Presentation is important. Your script should have a clean, uniform look.
Page 34 - What is the point of the conversation between George and Oscar?
Page 42 - Nitin asks Tom, Are you gay?
Page 46 - Dana doesnt hear her friends screaming?
Page 50 - Monica files her nails? I thought this was supposed to be like Friday the 13th, not Idle Hands.
Page 51 - This is the last time I go on one of your camping trips. Funny line.
Page 54 - The file pierces the eye, edges deeper. Monica SCREAMS... then dies. End on Monica screaming.
Page 57 - Dana SQUEALS... Lose the, ...because Jack is wet." part.
Page 60 - With Jacks help, Dana identifies... This paragraph is redundant. We already know the jewelry belongs to the missing teens.
Page 61 - Sean fell 30 feet to the bottom of a shaft littered with old timbers and broken boards without getting injured?
Page 72 - Cant lose these. Ive already lost a pair today. Its hard to suspend my disbelief with lines like that.
Page 83 - How exactly does Dana free herself?
Page 85 - The bit with Dana pulling the nailfile out of Monicas eye is great.
Page 90 - Jack says: I told you I was prepared. Funny. read -
A review of Hudson Fallsby **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 07/03/2009The Billie Piper thing – is it intentional? It seems an odd thing to have. Every time "Billie" appeared in the screenplay all I could picture was the failed pop star turned Dr Who actress, not really what you are going for (I would guess). Being from England I would have to assume you have heard of her. Another strange thing is the reference to Schindler's...
The Billie Piper thing – is it intentional? It seems an odd thing to have. Every time "Billie" appeared in the screenplay all I could picture was the failed pop star turned Dr Who actress, not really what you are going for (I would guess). Being from England I would have to assume you have heard of her. Another strange thing is the reference to Schindler's List. Is the modern part of the story meant to be set in 1993? If not, would they be seeing Schindler's List? It seems there purely to have a making out in Schindler's List joke (a joke that was already used in Seinfeld 15 years ago).
These are both just small things, but they are symptomatic of much larger issues. Too often I found myself scratching my head more than anything else. The odd machinations and characters actions meant I was constantly brought out of the script, rather than being drawn in.
Look, this is a tough one. Generally it is quite well constructed. The mechanics of the writing are good, but... it doesn't really click, for a wide variety of reasons. I apologise if I am too rough but unfortunately to me this pieces seems seriously problematic.
My take on the slasher genre is you need to do something original to set it out from the pack. The storyline is paper thin and that is okay for the type of film, but then there has to be real invention in the manner in which the kids are disposed of. There didn't seem to be anything here that would make this stand out from the pack (maybe the eyeball being pulled out). The original thing might be the modern day slasher mixed with the 1600s backstory, but in the end the combination of the witchcraft and the crazed backwoods killers never mesh properly and only serves to muddy the issue. You seem to be having a bit of a bet each way. If they are the reincarnations of John Goodwin and Mary Black, what is with all the other missing people? Alternately, if Billie and George cause all of these missing persons, then the whole thing with Dana being Mary Black is irrelevant.
My gut feeling on this would be pick one and go for it. It needs to be one or the other. This place in the forest is either a place where random kids get chopped up or this particular group of kids gets targeted because the whole Mary Black/Dana thing.
There are a few issues with the telling too. Having the burning at the start is fine, except then it gets repeated again at the end with no new information. We don't learn anything from pages 78 to 84, which is a big chunk of nothing at what should be the most exciting point in the script. Also, Nitin's big long slabs of diao/exposition around the campfire aren't particularly compelling.
Overall, the dialogue isn't terribly strong. There are many examples of characters saying things that should be in the action, like on page 52 – "I can't move."
This might be more of a personal taste thing, but characters talking to themselves really rubs me the wrong way. Like:
Dana: Where did Sean go? He left us. That bastard!
One of the difficulties with writing slasher scripts is getting the characters into these perilous situations, situations which often defy logical thought. The whole big breasted girl going to investigate a strange noise thing. This is part of the fun with these sort of films. But it's a fine line between a character doing something the audience knows is foolish and the characters doing things which make absolutely no sense. Often in Hudson Falls the actions of the characters seem to miss the mark. Take Monica and the nail file. It is clear what you are trying to do, but they see their friend Nitin decapitated and his skull burned in the fire – one minute she is terrified, the next she is bored and filing her nails?
Same with Dana and Jack laughing and kissing when they are trying to outwait Billie and take the boat.
Dana is terrified at Billie's house and wants to leave immediately, until she comes across a nice pair of earrings?
In fact Dana's actions the entire way through don't seem to follow any sort of logic. At first she is desperate to get away from camp, enough to try and steal a car she can't drive, but then she goes and sits by a lake? And where is she going when she gets in the boat? It's dark, it's the middle of the night and she is supposedly scared. I don't really buy her going to find a creepy house to explore.
Again, this is more a personal taste thing, but I am never a big wrap for false frights in horror. This screenplay has a bunch of them. Sean covered in sauce probably works the best of these, but the corvette, "Oh no, he found us" thing just kind of happens, with no build up or suspense. And just as quickly it is over. Maybe if the car had been following them for a while and somebody else brought it up, not Nitin. Later, I have no idea why Jack throws the knife at Dana other than to set up Jack's knife throwing for the climax. Work needs to be done on the suspense throughout. There are precious few moments that seem especially scary or that I found myself concerned for the characters and wondering what would happen next.
The false endings is kind of like the false frights thing. It felt as though characters come back to life and the baddies aren't quite dead just the right amount of times, not because it suited the story but because that is how it is supposed to happen in this sort of film.
Just a handful of other small things:
"George points to Tom's rock hard abs, then to his own beer belly." This makes sense reading it, but would it translate on screen? I would find it confusing. I wouldn't think "Oh, abs" so I wouldn't know why George was pointing at people's stomachs.
How exactly does Dana escape being tied up on Page 84? Her arms swing wildly and she wasn't tied well? Again, it's that plausibility thing.
I didn't understand what the point of the video camera filming at the end was either or why it was there or who had set it up.
Anyway, I hope this helps in some way. Best of luck going forward with it. read
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- Writer: CJ Knight
- Uploaded by: CJ Knight
- Length: 93 pages
- Genre: horror, mystery/suspense
- Here is my attempt at the horror/slasher genre. I'm not attempting anything clever, just trying to have some fun. I hope you enjoy it. Kind regards CJ
- Bio: Done some acting, singing, song writing, screenplay writing, reviewing... still waiting for Steven Speilberg (or Simon Cowell) to call me!
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Parenting signals sometimes reach receivers
Sunday, January 5, 2014
My son has voices in his head and I couldn't be happier.
"I don't care. I don't wanna go!" Jacob whined.
It is so hard to raise children adopted when they are older. Few understand this. When we tell people we adopted five children, they coo, "Awwww," as if we inhabit a fairytale land filled with sweet Hallmark card sentiments.
"I love Dan to death," Jacob said recently. |


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Chemicals registration programme is having a disproportionate economic impact on these firms
SMEs will continue to pay less than larger companies
Chemical manufacturers in Europe are now well into the process of REACH registration, but for those outside the borders of the EU, the legislation and its implications for their business may be less familiar. Tricia Foley and Elizabeth Leaderman, of Day Pitney, summarise what US companies need to kn
Improvements need to be made to quality of registration dossiers, says EC report
Says REACH system ensures safety of product including nanoparticles, but will need to be modified
New REACH legislation will come into force on 31 May 2013, requiring companies that manufacture or import phase-in substances (i.e. those already pre-registered) in quantities above 100 tonnes/year to register their chemicals and be fully compliant. The legislation has brought with it a raft of addi
Change in rules will be introduced in the summer
Now the preregistration period has passed, Hilary Ayshford spoke to SAFC"s Carole Garcia about the next phases of REACH
To be headed by Pooja Raj, general manager, regulatory affairs
Covering more than 90,000 chemical substances


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PokerPages > Poker News > Poker News
California Online Poker Bill Set for Smooth Sailing, per Lobbyist Gallardo
Wed, Jun 24th, 2009 @ 12:00am
Passage of the bill to regulate and legalize online poker within California should be a 'smooth sail' once stakeholders feedback on the proposal to be presented to them this week, according to commentary to eGaming Review by the Poker Voters of America's (PVA) top lobbyist, Chris Gallardo.
The bill, called the California Online Poker Law Enforcement Compliance and Consumer Protection Act, represents a more viable option for the California government to address its predicted end of year $25 billion deficit than other revenue-raising proposals such as selling San Quentin prison to real estate developers, noted Gallardo.
The Online Poker industry is estimated to contribute $250 million a year in state taxes, according to data business H2 Gambling Capital. With the May rejection of an emergency state budget fix, these revenues are needed more than ever.
"We think we can help the governor and legislative leadership in trying to ease some of the pain of making cutbacks to essential programs," Gallardo told eGaming Review. "When I worked in the California legislature, I saw bills drafted and passed in hours, because those issues were a priority for the state."
The draft legislation being presented to the legislative leadership, the governor's office, and the California card rooms and Indian gaming tribes is the culmination of a year's work with stakeholders by the PVA.
After last year's version of the bill stalled due to factors mostly beyond the PVA's control, Gallardo believes the grassroots lobbying organization now has several other factors in its favor which could help it get the bill through this time around.
These include his links with the California tribes as the former lead lobbyist for the California Nations Indian Gaming Association. Gallardo, who is of Navajo extraction, said his background has been useful in helping underline the benefits of expanding their gaming businesses online to the tribes.
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MCAS Miramar builds toward the future
Base making room for new aircraft
SAN DIEGO - Marine Corps Air Station Miramar is undergoing some of the biggest changes since the Navy's Top Gun school left town 14 years ago.
"The skyline of Miramar is changing dramatically," said Col. John Farnam, commanding officer of the base.
Not since the base changed hands from the Navy to the Marine Corps 14 years ago has there been such a flurry of construction.
An entirely new $70 million hangar is springing up on the western edge of the airfield for new squadrons of MV-22 Ospreys, the tilt-rotor aircraft replacing the twin-rotor CH-46 helicopters that have been in service since the Vietnam War.
"Production has ramped up and squadrons have been standing up and we needed the room for them," said Farnam, who added MCAS Miramar is the launch point to train up Osprey squadrons headed to Japan.
Some 42,000 cubic yards of reinforced concrete has been poured for new taxiways and ramps.
In the not too distant future, Miramar will also look at making space for new squadrons of the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter, which were designed to replace aging F/A-18 fighter squadrons.
The JSF is now operating out of MCAS Yuma and is expected to be at Miramar around 2020.
As for the hangar projects, Farnam said, "These projects were put in and money allocated five to seven years ago and are not affected by the current budget crisis."
Ospreys will begin using the new parking area and ramp in June with the completion of the hanger under the supervision of Naval Facilities Command expected by October.


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To make matters worse, other than a so-so multiplayer alternative, there's only one mode in the game...which can take you as little as a single afternoon to accomplish. The game does tally up your points and record your score, but nothing satisfying comes out of it. There is a survival mode as well, but it's only the first level with a recycled objective: don't get hit. So, it really doesn't even feel like its own mode at all.
Unless you really, really dig old-school shooters that will take no more than a day to completely finish, this game isn't for you. Unfortunately, for what Platypus is, a thirty-dollar asking price is hard to accept.