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Creating a Shortcut to a Program or FileTo create a shortcut on the desktop to a program or file, there are two possible methods to choose from.
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Many island dishes, from rice and beans to fried plantains, are shared across the Caribbean, but jerk belongs to Jamaica. It began as a way for the Maroons (runaway slaves and their descendents) to preserve wild pork and evolved into the island's most famous dish.
Some say the term refers to the way the pork (or chicken) is turned over and over – or jerked – as it cooks over a hardwood fire. Others say it comes from the fact that the fork-tender meat is jerked off the bones. Either way, jerk is both a cooking method and a seasoning, a fiery blend of Scotch bonnet peppers, allspice, green onions and thyme.
Jerk blends are available in the supermarket's spice section, but a homemade marinade is far superior and simple to make.
Jerk should be grilled using the indirect method. Here are tips:
The Jamaican wood of choice, pimento (allspice), is not easy to find in the United States. Maple, pecan and cherry are good substitutes. The strong flavors of hickory or mesquite tend to fight the spicy marinade.
Soak a cup or two of wood chips in water for at least an hour, drain and scatter over the hot charcoal when ready to cook.
Use plain charcoal briquettes, not the self-starting kind. They burn longer and don't give off as many fumes.
Set aside about 1/2 cup of the marinade to use as a basting sauce.
Carole Kotkin is manager of the Ocean Reef Club cooking school in Miami. E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.com.
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Apple iPhone 5 Launch May Pop Telecom Dividend Bubble
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text:
- 8 total posts
- 2 comments
- 6 questions
Questions from sison
What is the Best Solution for Under Eye Bags?
I have eye bags who tend to become really apparent when Im tired and I don't have much cheek bones. A surgeon told me I should get small implants under my eyes superior to my... READ MORE
Will Cheek Implant Move or Get Lower After Only a Few Years After the Surgery? Is It the Same for Permanent Injections?
A surgeon told me it wasn't a good idea because he removes a lot of them since they fall with gravity . READ MORE
Where can we see images of different models of chin implants ?
I have been looking over the internet for the images of chin implants be all I see is images of people'S chin after the implant. READ MORE
How much is it to have a hair line lowering surgery in Canada?
I would also like to know : How long is the procedure and can it be done under local anesthesia ? Thank you very much ! READ MORE
Can an under eye implant reduce the appearance of under eye bags?
I have small facial bones, a doctor told me I could have under eye implant above my cheekbones to diminish the appearance of my under eye bags, is it worth it ? READ MORE
Does the numbness always go away after chin implant ? I'm still number after 12 days.
I have had a chin implant 12 days ago, my chin and lower lip is still numb, my speech is different and that makes me uncomfortable and I find my smile a little odd because my... READ MORE
Recent comments from sison
I like the result !!! When did the numbness go away on chin and lip ? READ COMMENT
Are you still numb on lips and chin ?? READ COMMENT


text:
A Caption Dump sticky would be nice.
i approve... dumping
Great idea. This one by jane frescia.
Fuck yeah that one was excellent! Made me rock hard. Sperm bank, huh? Excellente.
Another one by jane frescia, from earlier in the same series.
By jane frescia again. From earlier in the same series. Out of order b/c I intended to only post one. Correct order is fagot_0, fagot_1, and fagot_2.
some of my favorites...
No caption but something i made... somone want to make a caption?
Awesome art! Is there more? I'll take a shot at captioning...
Can I ... BUMP ?
That is very nicely drawn
i need more of your favorites
I'ma dump now.
I think I have some pictures in this thread so it might be less then 43.
Hmm they may just be in the site and that would suck :(
I had no idea so many of these pictures were on this site....
Forgot image :(
Awesome contribution, was praying someone would add more, many thanks, FATSO
Just because I like this board and this thread I'm going to ad some of my favorites
So sweet jesus no flood detection or capcha.
The no flood detection or capcha is amazing btw.
two parter 1/2
It does surprise me how many of these I've saved over the years.
long and good
I sort of wonder if I'll hit image cap
another great
Not sure why but this is still my favorite one of all time
And that's all, for now.
will post all i have
and this is the last. love you /girly/s <3
We already have a caption dump, it's called "Imagefap.com".
Haha, just sort of kidding. Here's a page with some captions I prefer.
Sooooooo...is the internet out of these?
No, but it's just reposting material from blogs that you can find with google.
Such as?
needs moar sissy.
thanks for bumping a sticky :D
here's the captions I've made :3c, comments and criticism would be splendid.
Love them except for the fact a few were hard to read in the slideshow.
right click on specific caption, open in new tab.
you didn't make these
One of my captions says to message me on Rizon, give me a name and log into it and I will confirm that's me.
you uploaded them, but you didn't make them.(Girlies do not fight. This isn't very lady like. Sit in the corner and think about what you have done)
who cares, why are you being so anal about this?(Girlies do not fight. This isn't very lady like. Sit in the corner and think about what you have done)
Because plagiarism is a crime.(Girlies do not fight. This isn't very lady like. Sit in the corner and think about what you have done)
OMFG stop arguing you dumbfucks and actually post a traption! WHO GIVES A FUCK
Who is the girl in the picture?
It's me. And no, that cock isn't a shoop.
That's really you? What's your secret! I'm so jealous!
Lying by the looks of it lol.
I think if people don't post this shouldn't be stickied. It's been dead for a while.
why is this so deaaaaaad
it's a bummer vicinii doesn't do any new captions
thx fapchan, you made me cum all over my nicest skirt!
What a sexy bitch she is. I would kill to be that cunt. *Sigh* If only it were that easy
I like your attitude evil-bitch.
We should talk some time.
Posting some sick (non-cons / hypno) caps I made today, kind of wrong... Hope you like.
More to come as I make them
Fuckedup, I hope you post more forced pics. They are great.
10 and I'm done for today
You best be back soon with some captions, cumslut.
And I'm done for today.
Should I make more for you sissies?
Yes please.
What do the girlies want more?
Private sissification gone public
Drug/machine sissification
girlfriend/boyfriend pushed sissification
or just a true sissy loving up all the attention that cocks and strapons give him?
I guess also completely forced and unwanted sissification.
I got horny, and master isn't letting me cum :(
So i made some more!
I'd like to see more feminizing by girlfriend, but more innocent ones that don't involve humiliation, or having to suck on cocks. I think I might just be too vanilla for this board.
This one is more or less for you. Though I'm not so sure if you'd dig the buttplug. I mean, part of girlification is getting your ass turned into a boipusy, right?
Okay, I think I'm going to shoot for 5 every couple days. Who wants to tell me what a naughty girl I am for getting a hard clitty while making these?
Hee, thank you so much <3
You are a deliciously naughty girl who should definitely have more butt plugs.
And, here's a picture of my own little clitty getting hard this morning. Maybe you girls could do me a favor and write up a caption for me?
Christ that's small.
>>Implied gore
I know! It really needs to get locked up so it doesn't embarrass me at the mall when I stare at hot guys...
Also, have a bonus caption!
This situation almost happened to me on numerous occasions in my tweens to late teens.
Improvised self bondage is tricky stuff.
I'd love to hear about your closest calls.
I'm about fourteen, I'm in my younger sister's school uniform & her highest heels, and I've managed to tie my wrists behind by back to my ankles. Took me about 15-20 minutes of work to actually tie it properly, and it's the early hours of the morning.
I'm enjoying struggling and the delicious feeling of wearing her tights and school skirt- when I hear someone walking about.
I'm terrified, yet somehow even more turned on. I struggle, for real this time, but can't free myself at all.
All I can do is grab my cover (which I've strategically placed ready to throw over myself) with my bound hands and cover myself as best I can.
Of course my bedside lamp is left on. I lie perfectly still, my cock is rock hard but I'm in a cold sweat. The cover isn't quite covering the very recognizable light blue blouse. I've also got a gag in my mouth.
Many moments pass. I hear what sounds like footsteps coming to my door. I struggle furiously to free my hands - in the process I orgasm powerfully from the friction rubbing against the bed.
What seems like streams of cum flood my panties, then into the tights, then the skirt. I can't move at all.
When I finally stop I realize the sounds were footsteps going back into another bedroom.
It takes about 45 minutes to free myself. By that time I'm hard again.
Mmmm... That has to be a fantastic orgasm to have.
Are you making any more? I love them so far
I especially love either "caught" or "bets gone wrong" ones, with cocksucking and humiliation a huge plus :)
I've been on the road a bunch. I'll make a few tomorrow probably. In the meantime, I'd really love you girls forever if you could make something humiliating with my own little clitty.
this one >>5280
Only made a couple for today...
keep it up, they're really hot.
1 of 3
2 of 3
3 of 3
This gurl is fucking sexy
am I the only one annoyed by these ones that use boy names but obvious images of genetic females?
Im the only one annoyed by t he fact mostly of the stories involve pop-like culture and estereotiped scenarios?
No, I'm with you guys. Most of that caption-writers either seem to be retarded or write them with their dick in their hands.
The key for a good caption is the pic fitting to the story in every detail and it's better to use amateur pics than porn-pics because it gives the scenario a more beliveable touch. Also try to be creative within the fetish-borders but don't write over-the-top bs like "yesterday I found my hubby dressed in my clothes" when the pic clearly shows a young, fuoll-figured and clearly female porn-actress. How should that work?
First timer here
that is perfect.
good job
Could we get some that have...I don't know...ACTUAL FUCKING in them? Please?
I agree. I like the ones that use suggestion to their advantage. The imagination can be powerful. But a little more direct simulation of sissy's getting their brains fucked out would be nice.
What's the source for the delicious Bevington Academy captions?
These are scary
Is there any way to download all the images besides opening/right clicking and saving?
If you use Firefox, google DownThemAll.
>more ;) captions
>a lot of them are bevington academy ones
i don't think my clitty's ever squirted this hard before
>not wanting to go to the most prestigious sissy school ever
you're not even trying are you?
who is the model in this pic ?
one of my favorites...
oh wow, that's great!
Awesome...very funny too
The internet seems to be lacking in captions like these that involve a the transformation happening to a hipster. By any chanse can you "send one" to bevington? I remember in one caption the use of a bimbofying chamber. If you dont like the hipster idea, by any chance can you bring back the bimbo chamber?! I remember your stuff from hypnochan, and it was the main reson i even went to the site. :P
I'm glad you enjoy my work! :D
Haha, the hipster one might hit pretty close to home for me but I'd be glad to include a hipster to bimbo transformation some time. It will probably be a couple weeks until I have time to write another caption. I'll be sure to post it here when I finish with it. Thanks for the kind words :)
Where can we find all of your work ;) ?
It's mostly just scattered around the internet here and there. I may one day organize a website but for now they're only on various imageboards.
Soon... :)
hipster like this?
Wow, that one's really old
Here are some other old ones:
I'm looking for a few girls like this to worship my cock. How do?
you're in the right place
The visual method used by this caption is really unique. I like it!
This is my favorite caption. The burp that broke the sissy's mind.
keep them captions coming
COME ON PEOPLE. I don't have any to contriboot but this thread needs to move faster!
PLEASE GUYS, I'm too scared to save pictures, supply me with content, even though I contribute nothing, on this community based picture sharing board.
I've been on hiatus for a little while now.... Back with some more.
I'm looking for two caps. One has a girl fighting a guy and she's topless. He's knocking her out and theyre both in boxing gear. Some kind of wizard duel. The other is a set of four or five. Guy is being punished by wife or girlfriend. She's turned and put in new clothes and heels and is wearing big shades. A stranger gives her a ride and stops and takes advantage of her on the side of the road a few minutes later. Thanks.
If you're paranoid about someone finding your traption collection save them in a rar file in a systems folder. I guarantee you no one will ever find them.
or you could hide it in a jpeg. i know that its possible since ive done it before, but i dont remember how
you're referring to steganography, which is best for hiding only small amounts of data, like text, not a whole library of images.
But >>6802 was just making fun of >>6741 for being demanding :P
You do know that your browsing history gets cached in more than one place, right?
I do not even know what this statement means.
It means that your web browser history is been keeped by a 3rd party.
i dobout someone would give a fuck what you are looking in your screen, but the record is there.
I bet >>6741 was just lazy.
less talk about caching and data hiding, moar captions!
That's sort of true. Web browser history is saved in three different places on your hard drive. One of them is temporary to make reloading pages easier and is set to purge itself at certain intervals (but some stuff does stay around anyways), one of them is the normal web browser history that can be cleared in-browser, and the third is from cookies that tell certain companies where you've been and when you've been there. Cookie data isn't accessible to outside viewers outside unless you're on a website that's set to check it. Some companies do log certain data received from cookies for marketing purposes, but it's not indexed in a way that can put a person to a website.
And also, most ISPs will hold your browsing history temporarily for legal purposes. Depending on who's your provider it can be as short as two weeks or as long as two years.
There are other ways to get your history, but the majority of them fall under malware / government spying.
The point is, if you're worried about getting found out, there's a solid chance that a tech savvy person can figure this stuff out.
>stopping at 5/6
my thoughts exactly.
Much love.
Who is the girl in the picture? Is it shooped?
does anyone know who the girl is?
not into adult babies, but holy shit. that was really hot.
Posting OC! Think I should make more /girlies/? What do you want to see?
more OC!
This is one of my favorites.
I love this one! so frakking hot!
That is one great thumbnail you have there.
I love love love gif captions. But unfortunately the majority out there are all cuckold and not sissy.
I swear I check this thread religiously. Hoping for more and more and more. That's why I'm trying to space out posting what I have.
I got impatient and posted three in a short amount of time haha.
I adore this thread and shall finally contribute!
Series compliments of SexySecretSophie
And just a nice standalone
something about this girl and this picture that I just love.
Where's ;)? her latest captions have lasted me quite a while, but there's nothing like them ;-;, and the only other long running caption thread i know of, on 7chan, has a guy posting some captions that are getting a "little" too strange.
these ones im posting now arent OC, just some i found floating around.
i fucking love this one. I want to be her SO badly. such perfect skin, such a perfect cock. Such a perfect kiss...
this reminds me of the hypno vid Sissy Swallow. <3
this one is depressing. but im sure many of us (including myself) can relate.
That shit just ruined my night D:
Like what? I saw one or two poz captions (which I'm not really into) near the middle, but not much else.
Horribly unjustified/mistaken punishment really gets me all warm and tingly. Partially because of the raw unfairness...partially because I wouldn't mind getting caught in some of the less soul-crushing crossfires.
Butch Mann. I kinda want to see the most passable trap ever use that name.
the ones about guys getting rid of all genitalia and thier nipples, i can understand it on one or two, then it's hot, like the barbie one. but it's in a lot of the captions, and they all start out with some sort of way of saying "i'm not gay, but..." or "this guy wasn't gay, but..."
idk, i could be the strange one.
(to the guy who makes them, if you see this, i don't mean any offense, some of your captions are some of my favorites. really good stuff, just a bit out there at times)
could be captioned better
Do you meant POV (point of view?) And where is this thread, please?
This one is clever. Any author or source info?
Here's some links to xhamster users' caps
And check out the "related galleries" at the bottom of this gallery.
i don't think that's what they meant (because i can't seem to see any Point of view captions in the thread) but here it is:
He means poz, as in HIV positive. Captions about so called 'bug chasing'.
And there goes any boner I might have had for the next...
Seriously, between this, the racism and the mutilation... nvm. Cutting off the rant here.
Oh yeah, I know what you mean.
Like, you're about to get into a rant at all and then you realize where you are and start wondering what you're doing with your life. I usually dont hit submit though. :P
And this is my favorite.
I really like that this is a sequel/continuation thing of another cap here.
i can't count how many times i almost typed something here, then didn't.
Gonna bump with some OC!! Come on /girlies/, I need this.
More like this please, ladies.
reminds me of Isabella's audio.
Here's a new one.
I just want to say ;) you make some of the best sissy captions I have ever enjoyed. God tier sissy captions, love your universe too.
pic unrelated its something I just made
Yay! ;) is back!
Fun G-Rated
awww! Thank you! :D
that is amazing
Where did the comment about moby dick go? :(
I wish that academy was real lol
We all do... We all do.
lol god boy
Do you have a bigger size of this?
did you make that?
>>8418 no, I found it on a blogspot a few days ago.
That is one of many from my site that I haven't updated in like 7 months. Happy to see that someone thought it was nice enough to keep on their hard drive.
I'm pretty sure this is one of the better-liked ones I made.
what's the name of said blog?
>>8436 natalienne.blogspot.com/
your blog is amazing.
Found this in blogger-world...liked it. Come visit me:
I love Futa Succubus/Demon art!
This is one of my FAVE fantasies....Enjoy!
Found a really good sleepymaid picture that someone talented girl should caption!
Seems legit, bro.
I've used virtual mistress before. There's no such thing as a real person controlling you through that programm. "Trojan controller", never heard of that.
I'd like to politely ask you to leave, sis. <3
It sounds like its someone using a rat or something.
I guess they just picked a random name.
Doesn't sound to bad though, they are just a retarded dom.
Come visit me at:
Anyone want to be nice enough to upload these as a zip?
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This one has been around a while but I love the idea!
Come see me at: http://thesissyschool.blogspot.com/
I couldn't find one by that exact name, but I did find one that worked. So here is my gift to all you girly girls: http://www.mediafire.com/?jvbe2m87he7zxkr
Wow! Thank you so much! I've been meaning to do that, but never got round to it!
:/ i'm so lazy
Very hot....and dirty....love it!
This is my first attempt at an original.
Awesome !!!
Where did you find these ones? link to the original?
and other blogs that i found off of that one. A LOT of good stuff out there.
you guys should check out the blog list at www(.)rebeccamolay(.)com
Fairly comprehensive, though there are a fair few missed.
Is there a source for these, because GODDAMN.
If only that was easy i would love it
anybody have the one with the barefoot girl on the trampoline?
Here is my first attempt. Nothing special, but I really like the kind where someone is brainwashed into being a cocksucking sissy against their will and you can read the struggle against their own mind.
Here is my second try
Yeah, I'm the guy that makes these. I understand they're not for everyone but I'm glad there are a lot of people that seem to like it. I got some good responses on 7chan.
I dabble into the no-nipple or no-genetalia thing here and there but it's not really my fetish per say. My main fetish is pretty much having a gorgeous shemale/bimbo that still has the mind of a man, usually when he's in denial about it. I guess I like the idea of a straight guy turning into a gay shemale as well, which is why you see a lot of the "I'm not gay..." where the character is obviously exclusively sexually interested in men.
I've done a couple interracial ones too, I find the whole black cock worship thing bizarre, but at the same time humorous and sometimes erotic - so it is fun to write stories about it.
Sometimes I write stuff that turns me on, and sometimes I write stuff that just makes me laugh but at at angle where someone might still be able to enjoy it for fapping. There are only a few things I've run into so far that have really creeped me out that I won't write captions about... I've seen a few about fem-boys becoming pregnant (or begging to be made pregnant) from their ass (what?), and those HIV positive caps, what the fuck? But I'm not really here to judge with the weird shit I make, women with moustaches, etc
The ass-pregnant thing is appealing the same way your gay-denial caps are. Being so broken, you become a parody of femininity and want to get fucked and be fertilized. Of course, you'll never get pregnant, so you'll just keep on getting fucked, begging for babies forever.
Do you have more? If not, please make more. You're awesome at this.
That's actually a very good explanation of it, thanks! I think I get it now, still not really my thing but now I get it.
Here's a new one I made, with a lesbian theme, no gay (male-male) stuff in this one.
anyone have any feet sissy caps? for some reason being forced to paint your toes turns me on
Seconded, i like being forced to feel cute and vulnerable!
You should definitely make a blog, or at least an Imagefap profile.
This was hot as hell, I certainly wouldn't mind moar like this
holy shit, we need to mass produce this kinds of caps111
10/10 i came buckets
Had my first anal orgasm to this right now... Feels good.
you don't sound very enthusiastic.
It was late when I started and took over an hour and a half! Post-orgasm sleepyness may have dulled my enthusiasm a bit ;)
But yes, it was amazing! It's just sad I don't have the time to go at it again tonight!
haha, ok. grats, here's to many more :)
More Bevington please. I love those
I agree, more Bevington Academy caps please
bump, more bevington
Oh hi there, ALL OF MY FETISHES. Are you me with a better vocabulary or something?
Brolita =3
You don't need to bump, this is a sticky. But I've attached some for your viewing pleasure anyway ;)
O.O Yes please, moar :D
I see you used my brolita caption hehe one of my more popular ones?
Do you have a page where you have more or something? :D
Here is my tumblr page
Hi! This is my first attempt at a caption. Sorry if the text is a bit bland, I didn't want to do anything fancy.
I've always enjoyed the prospect of feminization and blackmail, so this caption is something I'd personally like to see to more of.
I apologize if anyone doesn't like that that the "sissy" has actual tits. I'd photoshop them off if I had the skills. I'm able to just ignore them, though, plus being bisexual they don't bother me.
Gave it a go, see what you think.
Good first effort - Story matches the picture which is the most important thing. Captions that have a story and a random picture are the worst.
tits aren't the bad things..
vagina though.
If I see a caption with a vagina on it I usually just don't read it or just leave the blog that it's on and never return.
caption is great btw. :)
LOL, I'm the guy that created that caption. Check out <a href="http://www.imagefap.com/pictures/3217108/Daddy%27s-little-sissies-01">ifap</a> if you want to see more
This thread is dead, so to livin it up, here's my first attempt tell me what ya think.
This thread still needs more livinin up, so here's my second attempt.
I saw a diaper caption, and thought you guys'd appreciate it if i tweaked it to be more TG related, here it is in-case it suits any of your interests.
More Bevington Academy Caps, anyone?
Ditto, bevington is some of the best stuff to come out of /girly/.
bevington is my favorite as well
Is it weird that I think the whole Bevington Academy thing sucks?
A little bit. I find them to be my favourite, but I think that's down to the author. Her other stuff, which isn't Bevington Academy, is also very very good so I enjoy them. :)
I like the way she meshes a happy-go-lucky writing style with more sinister undertones, it does turn me on!
Not weird at all. I think the entire Bevington thing is really lame when it comes to captions.
I'd say about everything that ;) makes is hit or miss, more than half of the stuff they make is my absolute favorite, the some of other i don't bother saving. guess you guys just have bevington in the other pile.
but if you're reading this ;), goddamn do i LOVE most of the stuff you make.
More and source
yes, does anyone know if ;)
has a website or a place he/she stashes his/her caps?
i just saw it on a random diaper thread on 4chan's /d/, and changed all the "she"s to "He"s, and whatever her name was before, to chase.
not really a fan of the last group of photos and the whole just guys in drag thing
im more into the mind breaking stuff or the forced fem thing like where a guy refuses to become a sissy, but due to some hypnotic stuff or due to blackmail he is forced to go along with it
just my preference
id love to see more of those if anyone has them
Here is one of the hypnotic ones I just made. Tell me what you think
nice. more please.
does anyone have any more bevington academy?
or the forced feminization caps?
If I knew how to make captions I'd create my own...
Anyone want to give me some good, in depth tutorials?
Not just how to put text on a picture, but also, software that suits the purpose, how to altenrate colors, backgrounds, etc.
And of course, should I just use Word for the spellcheck?~
Personally, I prefer the ones where man is forced by circumstance to become another man's sissy, but I also enjoy the hypnotic ones as well.
Would love to see more of both.
I agree, forced to be a girl is my strongest and favorite fetish.
perhaps because I fight this horny
I feel guilty when I think in girly world, but if I were forced could not do anything, it would be my alibi :3
does anyone else feel like this?
I feel like part of me truly wants to be forced to become girly.
like I want to be hypnotized to the point where I know that with every cock I suck on, I want it more and become more girly, like I want to have that mental fight in my mind and want to become girly for the rest of my life.
but the other half of me thinks its just a fantasy and that I want a normal life.
Not uncommon I think, it's kinda like "princess by day, slut by night". Except it's "male by day, slut princess by night" :)
which is what i want too :)
me too... because of that I put an email in blackmail thread
more forced fem captions pleez
Here are a couple pics I tried to make look like the bevington ones.
I'm not sure how he/she does it, but I tried if someone wants to give them a cap
Im not a great story teller so I was hoping another could give them a hot story :)


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Wetumpka, Alabama (map) | (334) 567-3002
Sites: 39 | Latest Rate: $10.00 |
|Clean Restrooms:
|Clean Showers:
Rate above is at monthly w/senior or military discount. Very peaceful location w/good, level asphalt sites (back-in only) and roads. Good city water with slightly low pressure. Very good electric. Heavy leaf fall: a leaf blower is very handy here for clearing your site and also for clearing the slide tops before departing. (Very congenial camp host keeps vacant pads cleared, but we prefer more than just the pad cleared). Satellite TV is possible with careful site selection and/or a mobile dish. Good over-the-air TV reception. Good Verizon 4g signal. Central bathhouse is nothing fancy, but is clean and nicely heated. Squirrels and deer are seen almost daily. Tables, grills, and fire rings at sites. We will stay again. - AFChap
What a beautiful little park. Very quiet, yet close to town. Probably the best voltage we have ever had. Ran very close to a full 30 amps and never dropped below 119V. While the park is on well water, the attendant informed us that they are switching to city water in the next few weeks, which would explain the hardware sitting in the woods. There are a couple of river-view sites, but water access is difficult due to being on a 30 ft bluff over the river. Sites are large and level and hosts are very nice. - tundracamper
This is our home base park when not traveling. Most previous reviews are pretty accurate. You will need a good water filter here because it is well-water and can be muddy at times. We use an inline filter and a Brita pitcher inside for drinking water. Bathrooms could use a refresh, but are kept pretty clean. Staff and regulars are friendly and very helpful. Rate reflects the monthly long term rate. - travelingtalleys
Wetumpka, Alabama (map) | (334) 657-7376
Sites: 23 | Latest Rate: $13.00 |
|Clean Restrooms:
|Clean Showers:
Rate based on monthly rate. (FHU, wifi, cable TV) Not a resort but a nice rv park - plans to grow and possibly become resort. Seems to have more permanent type campers. This is a nice clean campground near a beautiful lake (Lake Jordan). Would recommend staying here if you have family in the area. Wifi sporadic - drops periodically. Cable TV is in transition - need a box from BrightHouse. Need to be self contained - no comfort station. Nice boardwalk to the lake. Boat launch within a mile. Sites are narrow and gravel. Need some designated additional parking areas - people using vacant sites for parking. Happy to have the park in the area. Would stay here again due to location. - westie0506


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Attending the Church of 21st century Manufacturing
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"I was rather pleased with the outcome of this recipe. Followed it to the tee and they came out great!"
"The title is correct. 'Impossible' is right. I've tried this recipe a few times over the past 10 years and have yet to get an edible peanut butter cookie out of it. Don't waste your time with this one."
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Great recipe and I will try it again later this month. :-)"
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I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The Wolf of Wall Street "I ain't fuckin' leaving!" speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.


text:
90-year-old Husker fan to miss first home game since 1947
A Nebraska super fan will have to watch the big game from home Saturday, bringing an impressive streak to an end.
For the last 66 years, Warren Nelson, of Bellevue, has been in the stands for every one of Nebraska's home football games.
"I've sat in some bad games and some wonderful games," Nelson said.
Nelson has attended every Husker home football game since 1947. He saw his first Husker game when Harry Truman was president.
He is part of all the sellouts -- more than 400 games and 66 seasons.
"I am just enamored with Husker football. I love college football," he said.
While his heart is full of Husker pride, Nelson's doctor said his heart isn't ready for another Nebraska football game after he just had heart surgery.
For the first time in years, the Huskers will have to win without him.
"I will be sitting in my TV room and watching Nebraska football that's for sure," he said.
Even the Nebraska University Athletic Department knows Nelson won't be there. Athletic Director Shawn Eichorst sent him a baseball cap to wear during the game along with a personalized letter.
"Dear Warren, thank you for your dedicated support of Husker football. I was amazed to hear that you have never missed a home game at Memorial Stadium since 1947," the letter said.
Even though Nelson won't be at Memorial Stadium in person, he said he will be there in spirit forever.
He said he can't go to any more home games this year per doctor's orders, but he's already bought season tickets for next season in the same two seats.
"And I've enjoyed it all. It was a long ride," he said.
Big Red Zone Game Day starts at 11 a.m. with Sean Callahan's live chat on KETV.com. The live pregame show starts at 1:30 p.m. with kickoff at 2:30 p.m. on ABC.
Copyright 2013 by KETV.com All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
UPDATE: Missing Lincoln elementary school student found Friday
Omaha woman accused of having sex with teenage boys
Dodge Street closed for hours Friday during crash investigation
Nebraska to challenge Colorado's legalization of marijuana in US Supreme Court
Woman faked birth, collected $100K in child support


text:
tapewormLine breaks: tape|worm
Pronunciation: /ˈteɪpwəːm /
Definition of tapeworm in English:
A parasitic flatworm, the adult of which lives in the intestines. It has a long ribbon-like body with many segments that can become independent, and a small head bearing hooks and suckers.
- Class Cestoda, phylum Platyhelminthes
Example sentences
- The cestodes, or tapeworms, differ in a number of ways from other flatworms.
- An abundance of parasites, such as viruses, bacteria, fungi, nematodes, tapeworms, and the larvae of flies, wasps, and moths, are known to infect bumblebees.
- The gravid segment of the adult tapeworm breaks off and disintegrates in the large bowel, releasing hundreds of infective eggs, which then pass out with the feces.
Definition of tapeworm in:
- US English dictionary
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Word of the day reciprocity
Pronunciation: ˌresəˈpräsədē
exchanging things with others for mutual benefit…