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Have you ever felt distraught or found it hard to move on after dating someone who was self-centered? If so, your partner might have been a narcissist, or a person with narcissistic tendencies.
A narcissist is arrogant and expects special treatment — whether or not he or she does things to warrant it. If you're wondering whether your partner could have been a narcissist, it helps to know these basic traits. In this article, you will learn how to regain your confidence and put your life back on track after dating a narcissist or someone with these tendencies.
More from YourTango: 8 Ways To Move On From A Past Relationship
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Wonderful article. Very honest and insightful thoughts about a tough topic. Great points accomplished with a positive and motivational tone. Having "been there, done that" I'd say this article is spot on. And, if there is any advice I could second the motion on – it is – if you are dating anyone remotely resembling an narcissist simply get out now. A relationship with a narcisist will always be unhealthy and one-sided. Trust and be good to yourself . . . and move on to a healthier, balanced partnership.
I am trying so hard to get away from him…..he stalks me everywhere, braks into my house' follows me out of town. I can't even get on fb without him knowing what time I was on….I am not allowed to talk to men, go to the gym.
I am a strong woman with my own business and home and its so humiliating that is can get him out of my life. My minister said its a worse addiction then drugs and alcohol , he was correct!
JUST GET AWAY! These people come in both male and female forms and are the most debilitating, emotionally destructive people on the planet. Mine wasn't as bad as some. The best thing to do is get as far away as possible. Call the police if you have to and make absolutely sure you document everything. Take pictures if you have to. Some will just go away once they've ben figured out. Some will stick around no matter what. I was lucky, mine disappeared. My brother wasn't so lucky and now he's dead. GET AWAY! Best of luck to you!
FANTASTIC ARTICLE! I dated a woman who I believe was at minimum a narcissist and possibly had some other disorders but as some of the therapists said, you (or they) can't diagnose what or whom they haven't spoken to.
We broke up four months ago after dating for 2 1/2 years. She fits all of the categories of being NPD and possibly histrionic based on my obsessive reading on the subject with eight books over the last four months trying to figure out what in the hell just happened to me. Living with her or as I've come to find out anyone who comes across these people, man or woman, will make you think you are insane and will drive you insane. Before dating her I was pretty confident and moderately successful. Since being involved with her, my confidence has been shot, my relationship with my son (who she amazingly effectively got rid of and made me dislike) has fallen apart and I am rebuilding it and my finances have become much worse. I have heard and read that these people are emotional vampires and I believe it. Most therapists don't really understand the affect these people have on their victim and even the victim doesn't usually understand until it is well past being to late. I have moved on but the "ghosts" of this relationship still haunt me to this day. Your article is dead center correct with regard to the situation and the need to heal and move on. The mirroring and taking on the Narcissistic traits by the victim is right on. For a short article this really nails it. ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!
doc. i've just come out a 2 and half year relationship myself. a girl who i think is part narcisst part histrionic. other people cannot comprehend what us victims go through as partners. i am 4 months away now. within 2 weeks she dated my friend and is going in to the only i go in with him to rub me up. i have now changed the power over to me and know how to remain out of her psychy games. it does me good to smile at her with uber confidence knowing i have had a lucky escape and not feel the victim anymore. her facial expressions that were never really readable now display torment and literally shows her plan hasnt succeeded anymore. She is at present doppleganging her new partner. Thankfully for me it only took 6 weeks to work out why her behaviour was such. but then again i work in mental health and access to psychologists who pointed this disorder out to me. They are social reptiles. We are nice people who have had a blood transplant from a sociopath nosferatu. But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Walk tall mon frere.
Two books I read that were amazingly helpful:
The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists
codependent No More, by Melanie Beatty
I am a heterosexual female, who became attracted to a lesbian. I pursued her, and eventually we began to see each other. She had just gotten out of a relationship. She told me in every way that I wasn't her type. While it hurt me. I still had hope that she would see past the physical. She did, but over a year and a half, I was criticized from everything to the top of my head to the bottoms of my feet. Nothing was good enough. As a person that had always had doubts about herself. I really never thought I was pretty enough and having someone constantly tell me almost everyday that there was something wrong with my clothes, hair…everything. Never received a compliment, except for she liked my pedicure/manicure. She was ashamed to put a picture of us together on Facebook because her friends would ask her what she was doing with me. We stayed together, but a year in, I was told I was only a friend. I didn't know. I thought we had been in a relationship all this time. She eventually started dating someone else. All the time keeping me in reserve if it didn't work out. She made it seem that she was giving us another chance, but in reality she was meeting other people. Finally she told me she never lied to me. Basically I knew what she liked and I wasn't it. All the hurt she had when her girlfriend broke up with her, I loved it away. Supported her in everything she wanted to do, and all I have to show for it, is days of loneliness and hurt. Bad feelings and regret. I'm currently beginning to see a therapist. I have the worst self-esteem issues right now. Very bad. I never felt this way before. Never had anyone make me feel as if I wasn't enough, or there was something wrong with me as a person. As a woman.
Hi,I am getting over a relationship with a narcissist right now, and I read all these comments and I could have written every one of them. We are so lucky we can share on here and learn from other's experiences. Its comforting and reassuring that it is not us, but them who have caused this helter skelter in our heads. I feel so bad reading how awful people have been treated and for now reason other than wanting love and companionship. I am staying strong and in no contact so far with my boy, and hope I will be able to continue. I pray every night for God to give me strength to go on. I hope everyone of us will learn from our Narcs how to make sure it doesn't happen again. God Bless
Very good article and very good advice! If you are in such relationship get OUT as soon as you can! And let go and let go of everything that reminds you of that person! It is not easy and it's taken me over 6 months to move on and get rid of those "reminders". In my experience do not keep them on your social media friends, delete and block! Also has taken me 6 months to remove all this. Letting go is hard and I'm in the final stages now of truly moving on. I have a few pesky items that will go in the trash tonight..
Make sure you do things for you and that are good and healthy! At the end of the day we are the ones ourselves who we need to look after. Also we must not fear meeting someone else as not everyone in the world is Narcissistic or have narcissistic tendencies. We can learn and become stronger and know the warning signs to if we ever meet such people again to run a mile in the other direction.
This article was spot on of my experience in so many ways except that after repeatedly wooing me and then discarding me, over and over and over, I ashamedly was always the one who went back begging him to give me/us another chance because I was so in love with him and sure that we were meant to be together (or so I thought). After being abused for so long I finally lost it and tried to take revenge by exposing his truth to his family but it backfired because he ended up calling me crazy and unhealthy and instituted no contact "forever" himself. We have been NC for 7 weeks now and I no longer miss him but I am SO angry and feel SO much injustice that I am suffering and he gets to walk away unscathed and with no punishment. Plus I feel ashamed and angry at myself for staying so long, going back and permitting him to treat me as he did, and behaving as I did. I do take responsibility for my actions but I also know that he provoked me so hate that this 4 year nightmare ended with him coming out on top as the one who rejected me, instituted no contact, and called me the unhealthy one. How do I let go of wanting him to be punished plus move on with my head held high when I too acted poorly?
Read "Gas light Effect"
There is a 1934 movie by tg e title " Gaslight".
The book clarifies the psychic warfare waged by a narcissist. Excellent depiction & analysis including how to extract one's damaged sense of self.
Did you discover a way of letting go of your anger? My story is similiar to yours and i finally got out in Feb this year. I left as i couldn't take anymore however he tried to woo me back. I feel for the charm and once i had arranged that we could meet he said we were over and didnt work. I now feel stupid in myself for allowing such behaviour to happen to me, i cant believe what i became under his control. I am also mad that i allowed him the upperhand back and he had the control in teh end. I have now found out he has a new GF which was expected but im so angry that he has just moved on and i struggle every day to even comprehend what has happened to my life. Any help and advice appreciated please as i feel that i am going mad!
I thought I was drowning in anger… just allow yourself to feel it. It WILL go away in time. But if you avoid the feeling, it will take longer.
One more thing …I actually saw the red flags early on and did not just ignore them but I actually confronted him on every one of them BUT I then either believed his lies, let him punish me for challenging him, or begged him to love me despite how horribly he was treating me. Why? I did call him out and sometimes even walked away but he never followed me or begged me to come back so I was not strong enough to stay away. Who is this person that I became and how do I forgive myself for abandoning myself as I did?
Great article but painful for me to read. I was dumped recently by a girl who I suspect was at least partially narcissistic, just when the relationship seemed at its best. She had told me she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me and I had planned to propose to her next month. She had not been the easiest person to go out with, very tempermental, moody and selfish at times but she did apologise and thanked me repeatedly for putting up with her. I didnt mind as I knew she was going through a rocky time with her career and family relations, specifically with cutting one family member out completely. I understood and was always there for to listen and give positive advice, to cheer her up by getting her presents, bringing her on romantic holidays, buying her new clothes when she was broke, and complementing her work as she was very career driven. I sacrificed time with family and friends for her becauase I felt for the hard time she waa going through. And when she was in good form she was great, our time together was amazing. She even helped motivate me with my career. And in truth she flattered my ego telling me repeatedly how amazing I was. But then she started to put me down, saying I had a drink problem when I only ever drank a few with friends every couple of weeks or a glass of wine with dinner.I cut it out altogether for her, but then she accussed me of drinking behind her back and out of nowhere that I was still in love with my ex-girlfriend. I was going through a stressful time at work, we had a small fight, and she dumped me three days after I had cancelled an important work appointment to rush to her because she was really low after a fight with her friends. She said I was co-dependant, an emotional mess, possibly narcissistic and that I was emotional vampire. That I had been the one dragging her down for months not her career or family. And I was an emotional mess at this point because everything had seemed so good a few days before, I personally was the happiest id ever been and she seemed so happy at the idea of us getting a new place together and starting a new life together. Then it seemed just when I was a little low after all the support I had given her I was dumped. She cut off contact for a whole month and then started messaging me again and it was nice friendly contact, we were laughing joking and being intimate about our thoughts again. Then she rang me and told me she had done a lot of thinking and that it wasnt going to work,because there was never room for her it was all about me, that she had sacrificed her career and her life to help me, the relationship had meant nothing, she wished had never met and she didnt want to speak to me again. She said it had been her job to make me feel good about myself and now her job was over. Now im reeling from this. I had given everything I possibly could to this woman because I truly felt she was the one. I had never ever given my heart and soul to anyone like that before or trusted someone so implicitly. And now I feel like I have nothing left to give and I still dont understand what happened. Between this and a massive healthscare I had during the month of no contact I lost a successful job and now cant afford to pay my credit card bills which for the most part I accumulated buying things for her. I now have to move out of my apartment to go live with an elderly relative in a bacwater town because I have nowhere else to turn. Her career took an upward turn just before this happened so she seems to have just reset to the point before we met. Im left wondering was I codependant, an I really a narcissist or borderline like she said? Or is it her who is a narcissist/or at least has narcissistic tendencies. Her seeming complete lack of empathy would suggest so. Im just having a hard time accepting that the sweet beautiful woman that I loved wasnt real and was actually NPD. In the meantime im in purgatory, wishing I could meet her at least once face to face so we could talk about what happened. Thanks for reading Im in pain and need help and advice.
Oh, just so sad sitting here reading your story. I am so sorry. These people have no feeling, love or remorse for what they have done to us. You will move on…you have to although you feel as if this will be with you for ever. Me too. Mine was very short…thank god but has left me doubting myself and bringing up things about me I had thought I had dealt with about my past. Obviously not! lol but I am working hard on myself by doing the things that make me ME!Maybe these people are sent to us to teach us lessons about ourselves and grow into the people we are supposed to be. That's what I think. I have spent too many months now numb from this terrible experience with this man (if I can call him that!) that I was left wondering what the hell just happened to me.Dont try to make sense of all of it, it will destroy you even more.Im done with this. Move on…do not let this woman ruin your life. There is a wondeful real woman out there who will love you with honesty.Please be ok.
I had a lump in my throat as I read your comment. I am also in Ireland and it sounds awfully like we dated the same girl. I left her several times because she withdrew quite severely several times but because I didn't chase she hoovered me back. She also triangulated quite a lot using references to other potential guys who were chasing her. I hope we weren't used against each other by the same woman!!! For reference – she was a 40+ blonde working in the child charity sector. I so hope yours was not the same marc!
To add to my last message Ive been seeing a counsellor, tried meditation, seen a clinical psychiatrist, im taking anti-depressants, I even checked myself into a psychiatric hospital for one night when the pain got too bad but I realised that I would find no solace there. Whats tearing me apart is that she said still loved me and only wanted the best for me. I cant bring myself to think she is full blown NPD so I think she must be hurting too. I have seen her weakside and hard she took problems with her family, friends and her career. But why then the lack of empathy? Is it really me who is codependant? Im not suicidal but I am barely functioning at this stage, I cant eat and can only sleep because of the prescribed sleeping tablets. I wake up and I alternate between crying and sobbing for 12 hours of the day. Replaying past menories ofbthe relationship. I think maybe if I had been less emotional at the initial breakup it could have been sorted out. And then I say of course I was emotional, I was heartbroken. Im having panic attacks and I dont see anyway out of this because I had left my future life with this women take over everything that I was. Im having trouble accepting that its over for good and dont know how will ever trust anybody again and theres the fact that I know nobody will ever measure up to this woman. Even if this was just an illusion. What also is killing me is she seems convinced that I was the one with narcicist tendencies when all I ever did was show her love.
I was never like this after any other relationship. Heartbroken yes, one time badly so. So why would I be codependant now? But Ive never felt this lost. As for hindsight and Red Flags, there was a few instances. But not all typical NPD characteristics were there. But in the end claiming she had given everything to the relationship and I had sucked the life out of her, that there was a darkside of me that hated women, that I fed on her misery, when all I had ever done was supported her emotionally, financially, showed her love and tenderness and wanted her to be fully independent. This doesnt ring true. Its like she created an iverted picture of the relationship. I had ended a previous relationship because of someone being needy so Im not an emotional vampire. Sorry im rambling on Im just so confused! Im still madly in love with her, I hope Im wrong that she was NPD, and I do wish her all the best but I still think maybe it could have worked but then again maybe not.
I am sorry to hear your in so much pain and this is a truly sad story. Its impossible to say without knowing more about the person but it does sound like you came to be dependant on this person and you are suffering from some sort of shock/sudden situational change disorder. This is treatable with time, keep going to therapists and believed in yourself, you can dig yourself out of this hole your in. Believe me, I have been in you're situation where I was left emotionally, financially, and medically unstable from an encounter with an NPD who really did not care about me although they told me they did even after leaving me. This was their way of maintaining control! You sound like a genuine caring human being but you need to learn to be in control of yourself for yourself.
I am sorry but I can't help myself. I am finally moving on from a 13 year relationship with a narcissist. It took me a marriage therapist yelling it in my face before I believed what was really going on. I think because he didn't know he was narcissistic. At least he said he had no idea. He truly thinks all those nice gestures are everything and that he should be praised. Several thousand dollars later in counseling we have both moved on in upward direction. He is dealing with his past and I have started my life again.
I can swear that everything you are saying is something he would say. While, everything you say is true. You are hurting to the extreme about her leaving. It seems as though her biggest mistake in your eyes is her leaving you. You even blamed your credit card debt on things you bought her. You made the purchase, you bought the item. It is your debt. Just because you bought her things and helped her through a tough time doesn't mean if she feels the relationship is hurting her she can't leave. There is more to a perfect relationship then things you buy. The comment about her feeling for her family and feeling hurt about having to move on from one seems like she is showing empathy. This would mean she has empathy. Again, it reads as though you are upset that she isn't showing it to you. Not that she doesn't have it.
I can remember the days where I would get in trouble like I was a horrible wife because I would give my girls tickle backs every night. He would get mad and say that I am cold hearted and uncaring. It didn't matter what I did, I was a horrible person in his eyes. I showed in no love. Yet, he would say that I was amazing. You say it just like that. You say she is amazing and you don't think you will find another woman just like her. What about what you can do and offer to another woman?
To this day he still doesn't realize what he has done to me. You may not ever realize what you do to make her feel that she needs to move on. I would bet that she did and does love you dearly. Please let her move on.
Overall, what my point is: If she feels that you are narcissistic or co-dependent or you aren't the right person for her, what is so wrong about her moving on? If you can't let her go so she can be happy, then yes her move was the right move.
Again, I am sorry that you are going through this. May you find happiness in yourself and not depend on others for happiness.
Hi there and thanks for your response. First of all I wasnt blaming her for my credit card debts, this was mine to give and I gave freely out of my own choice because I loved her. I blame myself for being too weak to continue with work and have landed myself in a financially destitute situation. I was just explaining that because it is very hard receiving repeated phone calls from a credit card company when you are nearing a breakdown.
Secondly, I have seen numerous therapists, counsellors, psychiatrists since the relationship broke down. The unanimous conclusion is im not a NPD or codependant, my fault was in believing I was in a loving interdependent relationship.
Thirdly from past communications and stories I have showed and told said medical professionals their conclusion is she was she was the one who is codependant for many many reasons with possibly some narcissistic traits developed out of self defence.
Furthermore, your suggestion that I will never what I did to this woman? I think you puuting your own on to someone else. I did nothing but care for her, show her love, understanding, and try to encourage her in her career and to interact with her friends more. She acknowledged this herself before the split. And before you say it, yes there was definite sexual atrraction from both sides and the sex was great so it wasnt that old stumbling block. The presents etc. were just add ons. I come from a family who like to give surprises, presents. Thats notbthe point, its the love, support, and empathy which is my point.
The reason I am so upset is the suddeness of it all as there were no real warning signs. The morning before the fight she was telling me I was the most amazing person in the world. She was telling her friends and family I was amazing. Then suddenly its over, no contact, no real reason. Then suddenly we are back in contact, friendly contact where she contacted me, which was amazing, then suddenly I am dumped again, told alternatively im a psycho but also that im an amazing guy who she loves, which has broken me. The doctors have diagnosed me with Post-traumatic stress and sudden situational change disorder. And yes I had hoped for more, a reconciliation, but at the very least a civil face to face meeting to talk about what happened.
As for empathy, empathy is when you understand someone has been through a hard time, medically for example in my case, and you empathise with them, not add extra guilt to there plate telling them that the fact I am upset over that is a sign that they I am weak.Empathy is when you comfort somebody love when they are going through a hard time. I empathised withnher and supported her through her hard times with her family. To totally crush someones spirit when they are at a low point, that is not empathy. Caring and understanding at a hard time is empathy.To tell somebody a relationship meant nothing, except forbthe other person fulfilling their job to save me is not empathy.
as for moving on, yes I have to leave this woman move on. Although I fear she is moving backwards into a place of mental isolation within herself while using casual sex and v.short relationships to satisfy primal needs. She admitted this to me before, but told me I (we) were different and had a deeper connection. Ive come to understand all this was motivated by fear, and she did say she feared I wouldnt be so caring and understanding ten years down the road.
Yeah I know she still loves me and I still love her. I know she misses me as much as I miss her.
However the only thing ive learnt from this is that genuine love, caring and understanding, are not worth a damn. And this is the reason I personally cant move on and never will because I after.many relationships and despite her own issues she was the most perfect imperfect person Ive ever met. I just wish she hadnt been so afraid a d ran away. Oh yeah Ill have a career again, Ill find happiness of a sort again, but I will never truly love again. She will I have no doubt, go on to have a dazzling career and will have no shortage of lovers and I donhope she does meet someone who values her just as much as I do.
By the way I never got mad at her ever, even when she was at her most unreasonable, even when she cancelled things we had planned to go do things with things with her friends. I always said plenty more time for us. The only time I got mad was when she falsely accused me of drinking behind her back when I had radically changed my life so that she coukd be assured I wouldnt die young. And I wasnt an alcoholic orbheavy drinker just a social drinker.
And yes she had some degree of empathy towards her family which was the reason she was upset about breaking ties. But should you not show empathy towards peple you supposedly love rather than attack them. However, I also think you may be confusing emotion with empathy to a certain extent.
Finally this is meant to be a support website not a field for accusations ie. you accusing me of being just like your ex husband. I would advise a little bit more candor in your future posts because little things can be catalysts for fragile souls to take final steps
But thank you anyway for your best wishes for my future
Was it a mutual split or did you get out of it? If it was you who decided to leave what were the behaviours that led you to do so? Did he move on since your break up? If you feel that you had developed narcissistic traits 'before' you met him it is possible that he was codependant rather than narcissistic. Codependants will generally apologise a lot, for everything. I should know I "was" codependant in a number or previous relationships, once with a true narcissist, which afterwards led me project narcissistic tendencies onto my next lover, who was in hindsight simply mildly codependant. The mirror can be a vicious circle from my experience.You mentioned you had a family member who was the same?
You sound like you are still very emotionally attached to this man? Has he been contacting you, or vice versa? You have to ask yourself you/both of you decide to end it. You should also look at what attracted you to this guy in the first place. What changed over time?
I just currently got out of a 3.5 year relationship with a man who I now know has a NPD. For years I made excuses for him and always thought he was just struggling with his own demons and needs to get help. It wasn't until the last 6-8 months of our relationship that I realized something more was going on. I did some research and also spoke to a friend who had a similar relationship. Since I knew what was going on I knew I had to get out. I love him so much and I know he truly loves me so this was the hardest thing for me to do. But I did move out, a little over 3 weeks ago. I told him how I felt and why I needed to leave. He said he understood and convinced me to try to work on things with him. I said ok because I love him and I'm heartbroken. I saw him for the first time 2 days ago. He seems to be doing better and going to therapy. I was happy to see him doing so well and also taking accountability for his actions and admitting that our relationship was destroyed because of him. BUT after a few days of really thinking about the conversation I'm starting to realize and see things. First he was way over the top with "change" he literally changed the whole house and was like a completely different person. It was almost like overboard. He was saying that he's a different person and now he's going out being social which he never did before. It's strange because what normal person can actually act and be like that within 3 weeks and try to convince you they are completely different and are a better person?? He wants to go to dinner in a few days, I said ok. I know when I see him I'll have the same feelings and it will most likely make me feel worse. I'm very depressed and very messed up from this relationship. I do need to seek help with a support group of some kind or see my dr. This whole relationship has completely taken a toll on me. I'm trying to do the "right thing" but it's so hard but you love someone so much even though you know how sick they are. Apart of me feels like I just need to see him a few more times to see that he's what I saw a few days ago… The other side of me say cut it off and run for the hills. The hardest thing is that I'm close to his family and love his family like their own. We still want to have a relationship. I'm very torn, broken down and confused. Any advise/support would be appreciated. Thank you!
I am a year out of dating a very vicious narcissist. The first 2 years of our relationship was amazing, although there were signs of lies and cheating but he was very convincing. Then the put downs started about my breasts not bring big enough and at 50kg I was fat. He was a bodybuilding competitor and became insane if he didn't win and instantly had me competing and convincing me I had to take steroids to win and he always told me I was a user and he had always supported me. I was completely broken down to the point that I pretended I had money and then he started being nice again until I had to come to terms with the fact I didn't have the money to give him the big house and expensive cars and a life of no work living on my money. Once that came out he became so incredibly nasty I still am not even close to recovering from him. He found himself another girl in his gym within months and he was constantly telling me how rich she is and how she buys him all of these holidays and a new car. When he found out I was earning money he contacted me and told me he was confused and not in love with her. I should have seen the warning signs as he used to say the same things about his ex to me and call her a fat pig but still kept contact with her. He started sending me messages saying he wished he never moved in with his new girlfriend and led me on whilst he was telling get it was me hassling him. When she contacted me I sent get all of his messages but she happily stayed with him and now they are engaged just 2 months later. I can't help but wonder will he do the same thing to her or because she gives him everything will he change? I still can't understand why I deserved to be treated so nasty.. When he was beautiful he was amazing but I know realise it was all about money. Will her having money spare her from his narcissism or will it come out after a few years like it did with me?
Mine was a beautiful, romantic, caring person. At first. He proposed to me twice. I had two dreams that basically led me to believe that he would leave me destitute. I let God lead me out of this mess. He was a clergyman when in the army, and has at least 50 books on religion. We even started a bible study together. It lasted two sessions, as I am quite knowledgeable and able to carry on a pretty good conversation on the subject. Turned out it made him think about what he had been doing. But he still has the flip side, always calling himself a jiggalo (sp)? And never having a problem finding someone to go to bed with, and that he was cared for by many women, he was a minor league baseball player, etc etc. the day I went to Walmart with him and spotted him eyeing a trampy girl and the look on his face was almost satanic. Really scary. Narcissistic yes, he has other issues to go along with it. I got out. It almost killed me to do it. Blocked him from fb and blocked his number. I still love him and sure I always will. I am rebuilding my life with lots of hard work, taking care of the things and family relationships that I neglected because he would throw a fit if I saw my friends or family or even talked to them on the phone. He has disappeared many times and even resurfaced 2 months after my son committed suicide engaged to a woman he had an affair with in Germany. And he wanted to marry me just before that happened even. So it's been hard, still is, financially I'm in poor shape but determined to get back doing what is good for me. He kept me from having a really good job btw, and I let him because I thought he was trying to take care of me exclusively. You have yourself, and that is quite enough for the time being. Heal yourself and make yourself know you are worth living the right way.
Further to my previous messages, the passage of time+counselling+psychiatrists+anti anxiety medication is not helping. I feel like im sliding down into an even darker hole. I have heard nothing from her in a long time and I think (because she was codependant with npd traits) she has instituted a no contact rule because she thinks Im the narc/codependant. Anyway ive reached a low of suicidal thinking. I have to move out of my house this weeks due to the debts incurred by my career failure and move to an elderly relatives house as I have nowhere to go. I wont kill myself while they are alive but when they do pass there will literally be no reason left for me to live. This relationship or at what I thought this relationship was has destroyed me, she built me up told me I was amazing, before twisting my mind and dumping me suddenly. As a result I am no longer the strong, confident and successful man I used to be, im a professional failure,an emotional mess, sleep brings me no solace as I just dream of her, anti-anxiety meds dont work, meditation is ok until I stop meditating then wave of anguish hits. Ive tried going out meeting friends, going to dinner parties etc etc Ive been invited on a couple of dates. I put on a brave face whilst with friends double doses of anti-anxiety meds, as for the dates theres no way I could go on them: I still love her despite the cruel way she dumped me and still am not finding myself attracted to other women (they just aernt her) and I feel I have nothing to offer these other women. I gave my all to this one women and now I feel like i have nothing left, Im a broken person and these other ppl are best off looking elsewhere. Besides im.moving in a few days to the middle of nowhere to wait and meditate on death, hopefully acceptance of the end of everything within the foresseable future will bring sone solace from this anguish
So sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. BUT don't give up!!! I know it NOT easy at all. Have you tried support groups? People that can relate to you could possibility help you feel better and more at peace. Do you go to church? If you don't maybe you should try… Therapy?? I know it's very hard but you can't let one person destroy your life. I know you love her and you thought that she was the one but she's not, no one deserves to be treated that way. You have to understand that someone that truly loves you wouldn't have hurt you that way. Down the road when you're ready and you find true love you'll then realize she wasn't "the one." Being depressed and at a bad place in your head is very hard to deal BUT whatever you do don't give up on life. Stop trying to date you're NOT ready. You need to do some serious soul searching and work on your mental and emotional health. And work on getting your life back on track. You have to remember you were not the problem or the one with the issue she was. I completely understand how you feel but you have to control your mind to start a new thought process. Start journaling if it helps. In order to find true recovery you need to understand with her sickness and understand it wasn't you. Pick yourself up and push forward, to rebuild your life won't be easy but have faith in yourself enough that you can be a true survive of your horrible journey. She's already done enough damage take a stand today that you won't allow her to control anymore of your life. This is your life not hers and it's her loss she's not with you. Love yourself enough to help yourself, good luck! Remember you can do anything as long as you believe in yourself!
U canny give up. I nearly did because that's how low these folk leave u feeling. U actually beleive that u have nothing left to do but die without the narcissist. I am luck to have a fruens who was studying counselling who has helped me to realise this is all mind games and You really are an amazing person with so much to offer, u just haven't found out what your meant to do yet but that is the joy of your life, finding out what u are here for. We all have a purpose and sometimes these narcs make us feel so worthless about ourselfs but it is not true you are amazing. You could start by getting a wee pet dog and learn how to look after it and I bet that dog will show u more love than the narc. You have to stop letting this controller have any power over you. I know how it. feels to be left feeling like why couldn't they have shown me any love. I dont have the magic wand U want me to wave one n make u forget her overnight. That's not gonna happen but u have to realise u are "addicted" to her or the way she makws u feel. Read a book by Allen car. This is to help u see u can't just keep doing the same thing n expect results to be different if what your doung isnt helping. The book is called- The easy way to give up smoking but insert her name instead of smoking. U have to do certain things like be eager to get out of the grave ye decided to dig there. My narcissist has ruined my head so I know how u feel and I also. Know u will get thru it. Just start somewhere. Decide to either do something or die because if u lie down to it n die ur next life u will have to live thru it again untill u learned. We are all on a journey and your. Obviously a wonderfully kind hearted person. u just cant see your worth yet but u will. 8 wholeheartedly swear you will look back on how ur feeling and u wont feel like this any more.
What a great article and conversation. I am just a few weeks our of a nearly two-year relationship that was a daily mix of extreme highs and the worst lows and confusion. We travelled, skied and played together so well, and he payed the majority of the expenses for these adventures. But he was rarely affectionate, rarely gave a verbal compliment (most of his compliments were via text), and was ALWAYS in control. The latter was actually very attractive to me after being married to a passive man for 15 years. This relationship was a 180 degree turn from my marriage. I loved not having to make decisions and feeling like I was being taken care of. But in the midst of this, he was tearing me down verbally, in small but regular doses of disdain. I began to structure my life to please him. He was so "attentive," keeping in contact via text all day, and always planning our next get-away. This is how he kept me on the hook.
Most of our actual time together was not really great, however. He never engaged in meaningful conversation, and he told me directly that he wouldn't talk about the problems I saw in our relationship because it was a waste of time to feel bad about things. The most incredible thing is that I knew during the entire course of our relationship that he was pursuing other women online. And there was one woman he knew from before we met whom he spent at least a couple of weekends and a whole week with while we were still together. He was soooo convincing in his explanations about all of this, that even a strong, smart woman like me was duped by him. I saw a sweet and tender man beneath all of it, I thought, and I was sure I was strong enough to stick it out and bring all of that to the surface.
It took a "straw" to break this camel's back. I was sick one night at his place, and he was more concerned with his sleep being disrupted than about coming to my aid. I gathered the physical strength to leave. After all of the cheating, lying, confusion, and small insults it was that one act, the lack of care for me when I was sick, that finally was the last straw. I finally started to care about myself.
But the weeks since have been brutal and lonely. I miss the fun and adventure and feel like my life will be mundane forever. There are days it has felt not worth it, and he has made several gestures to try to woo me back. I just keep telling myself that he will never change, that control is his main goal, and that there is life after this relationship.
Lastly, I want to mention that he is a 20-year-sober recovering alcoholic. I believe that he has only dealt with the habit of drinking, however, and not with any of the underlying issues associated with his illness.
Trying so hard to move on and care for myself…I believe I will survive.
I'm in a similar stage to you. My life with my ex boyfriend seemed so vivid, so vital, so exciting. We were always going places and doing things. But, just like you, my actual time with him, when it was just the two of us, was not very satisfying. We would sit at restaurant tables, or next to each other while driving, and allow several minutes at a stretch to go by in absolute silence. To his other friends, he was very lively, very engaged, very animated, and of course, they loved him! They envied me for being so lucky as to have bagged such a great guy! Little did they know how much I was suffering and crying inside.
The final straw was when he called me unexpectedly and I immediately thought that I would get to spend some extra, unexpected alone time with him. No, he wasn't coming back to town yet, he was actually still at the airport waiting for a mutual "friend" of ours and once that friend arrived, they would be embarking on a four-day road trip together! Just the two of them! He had given no indication that he was doing this, he never ran it by me, he never even so much as asked if I wanted to come along. As his putative boyfriend, one would have thought that the one person on the planet he would want to spend the most time with, would be me, that I would be his foremost priority, that being in my company would be the happiest thing that could possibly happen to him. This unexpected and horribly unwelcome news over the phone told me for the latest and final time that what I had hoped he would feel for me, was just absolutely NOT the case…I had no choice but to leave him. Any man, crushed and heart-broken, with any modicum of self-respect remaining, would have done the same thing. I was destroyed. I still am. I broke it off via email that evening, since I was afraid I would get too emotional over the phone, and I didn't want to let him and our "friend" know how distraught I was. He replied a few hours later, expressing shock that I wasn't as in love with him as he was with me. He did say that he was sorry if he had "disrespected" me "in anyway" but he offered no explanation as to his behaviour, nor did he demonstrate an iota or remorse or empathy.
It's been less than a week and I am hurting. Though it is agonising not hear from him anymore, like I used to everyday, at least I've not been put through the agony of being in contact with him. I've been discarded because I'm sure our "friend" is now his new narcissistic supply, or he'll very soon find another source.
Thank you for reading my story, and I wish for you a quick and complete recovery from this very destructive experience.
I have been there. the UPS and downs, the giving narcissist who alternated between love and insult, never taking care of her own affairs, but violating healthy boundaries for attention. constantly seeking adoration, yet, never understanding the basic give and take of the relationship. obsessed with altering others to meet her expectations, telling me to "suck it up" or "get a helmet". She would then morph into a child and be completely helpless, needing everything done for her and explained. her way of making me feel like she needed me. eventually, I was destroying myself and feeling like I was going insane. she needed constant attention OR just someone who she could bully around. eventually, I knew what I was dealing with, and stopped any and all narc supply. after awhile of her not being able to get a reaction out of me, she attempted suicide. these are the lengths that a malignant narcissist will go to in order to maintain their control. my only advice: Run and don't look back. it is too late when violence and police are involved.
Thank you for this article. I have a boyfriend who I suspect of being a narcissist. I knew about the condition before meeting him, and some of his behavior has prompted me to do more research. I have to say I'm heartbroken, but he fits a lot of the descriptions I've seen.
I don't believe he's a bad person though. I'm being very careful not to jump into "I have to save him" mode, but at the same time I want him to know that he may be up against something serious like a personality disorder. I know that narcissists don't take criticism or bad news well. I don't know if I should try to bring it up with him or not. Should I?
We are on "break" from the relationship now (initiated by him), and I think that's a good place to be. I also have my own issues with codependency. I don't wanna end my relationship, but now that I see how things are going, I think it may be the best thing. it breaks my heart…but should I at least try to let him know that he might have NPD? I feel so emotional right now. I really do love him, and I really did think he was the one.
I dated a female narcissist for three years. In that time she slowly started to show her true colors. Got the boobs, face lift and many other things to make her self to look good.One time she asked me get Botox! I told her I happy on how I looked. She had a smoking hot body! But I over looked that. She was a very rich woman and spend a lot money on me and I felt very guilty about it. I don't know why but I did save all the box's that the items came in. I would ask myself why is she doing this. Then one day I did ask her why. She said that I love you. It was very awkward. Then she out fitted my whole house. Thousand of dollars. So when she had a problem I would be there to help her out …..lots of times…took her an long trips….one time we went on a Caribbean cruise for a week I paid for the whole trip. She was so nice to me but one day she sent me an e-mail to saying that she no longer want to date anyone and wanted the money for everything she bought me. Next week she was with an other guy! So I boxed everything and gave it back to her! She was not happy with me. I said to bad and goodbye!….. I'm an idiot, hook link and sinker! And no she didn't want to pay me for everything I did for her
I have begun the process of leaving my wife of 10 years. We have 2 children. My wife left me three months ago and took our children. Since being married, I have been diagnosed with major depression, hospitalized four times, and attempted suicide once. After a recent incident, I discovered that my mother was a narcissist. I have lived with the burden of my mother's conditional love for over 30 years…I am 40 years old. I have spoken to my family and discovered that my wife has treated me the same way. Nothing I have ever done was good enough for either of them. My mother does not love me, and I do not understand why my wife never wanted to save our marriage…it was her way or divorce. I feel like the biggest failure in the world even though I have two Master's Degrees in Finance and Mechanical Engineering. I have a great job and am very successful. None of this has been good enough for my wife or mother. My wife uses alcohol to cope with her problems…she has had a drink every day of our marriage (except pregnancy). Sometimes it is 1-2 bottles of wine a night. I know what a narcissistic parent can do to their children and have noticed my wife's conditional love for them. I am scared for my children. I want my wife to love me for who I am. I am in despair and do not know what to do? Please help.
I found this article quite patronizing and full of 'victim blaming' references particularly around the 'mirroring' section. I did not do anything to 'invite' my N father into my life to teach me a lesson on why I attract narcissists and that it is a self esteem and confidence issue.
I also note that the author offers no help or comments to survivors of this mental disorder.
The one thing I have learnt from being involved with this disordered group is that it is NOT your fault and the only way to begin to heal is to go no contact (NC) and stay that way.
There are lots of excellent websites and blogs out there to help.
I'm in the process of breaking the relationship with a npd that I've been with for 5 yrs.
he blames me for everything – I keep quite….
He comes home after being out all night – I keep quiet…
He is violent to me – I keep quiet…
He accuses me of violence – I keep quiet…
He accuses me of being unfaithful – I keep quiet…
He is being unfaithful – I stay quiet….
He has tried to rape me twice – I stay quiet
I'm determined to end this hell! Any advice welcome…
This is extremely insulting. Suggesting the Narcissist chooses the weak? Sorry but that couldn't be further from the truth in my case. When my N chose me I was at my height of success. A VP at my company, great physical condition, etc. My N was also extremely successful. I just don't think it's right to tell victims of Ns they were "weak." The problem is the N's not the victims'. Let's be clear…
Listen, please don't be insulted. Perhaps the writer could have chosen a better word than "weak". I get from you that you are not a weak person and you know what, neither am I. I also get from you that in other areas of your life, particularly your work, you are a successful and overwhelmingly competent individual. I share those qualities with you.
I think what the author is driving at is that there is a part of our emotional history, our emotional body that makes us susceptible to a narcissist's crazy-making tactics. Our actions are driven not by what we think, but what we feel. This is especially true when it comes to supposedly "choosing" who to fall in love with.
For all our outward success, our professional achievements, and our many outstanding personal qualities, there is a part of our emotional memory, a part of us over which we have no control or of which we have not much conscious awareness, that drew us to the person we fell in love with, who then turned out to be an emotionally abusive narcissist.
A narcissist's outrageous, truly abominable behaviour may be directed AT you, but it's most definitely NOT ABOUT you.
Again, please don't take personally the writer's remarks about our being "weak". It's not about weakness or strength, it's having been unaware about a part of ourselves that made us susceptible to a narcissist's "charms", until now. Remember, the part of our emotional makeup that makes us vulnerable to narcissistic types is just a part of us, a part of us that can be addressed. It is NOT who we really are.
Best wishes.
I agree, not weak. That is unfair. But unaware, that these types of people exist. Those who have certain qualities, those who care and trust. That is not a weakness, but a trait that can be manipulated. Those who appear difficult to break pose a challenge, and I am sure the victory is even sweeter for them, once they bust all your boundaries. But its short lived like a broken toy. If you were quality you wouldn't break. Makes me ill.
If you never questioned why such an 'exceptional' person would be interested in you, they will most definitely plant those seeds of doubt. By triangulating you and them with ex's that they appear to hate and glorify at the same time. Demanding that you dont wear makeup, or work out under the premise that it is 'superficial' so that others wont find you attractive, then they can use that later to use against you, to make comparisons. They tear away at you so they can juxtapose themselves against you, on why you should be more like them, after all they only want you to be a better person. This has been my experience anyway. Absolute control, and they dont care if it spiritually kills you. They feel its their job to make you stronger, and if you fail you are useless to them. I dont need to go on, its gross.
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Bald Eagle perched on driftwood.
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Ravenstars said...
Mar. 28 at 11:49 pm
Mar. 28 at 11:49 pm
Those mountains are so clear and vivid at first I thought this was a painting! This is rather lovely.
thatblondebeech replied...
Mar. 29 at 10:02 am
Mar. 29 at 10:02 am
Thank you so much! I was on an Alaskan rafting excursion and this guy was 15 feet away from our raft... Such a cool experience!!!

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2009/4/23 Philip Fennell <firstname.lastname@example.com>: > >From the SMIL Timesheets spec. the examples show either embedding the > timesheet in a document head or using existing link elements: > > <link href="timesheet.smil" rel="timesheet" > type="application/smil+xml"> > > For those XML document types that don't have link elements for this > purpose, is there a case for creating a processing instruction like the > one already used by stylesheets: > > <?xml-stylesheet href="mystyle.css" type="text/css"?> > > that would take the following form: > > <?xml-timesheet href="timesheet.smil" type="application/smil+xml"?> > > Having searched the spec and the www-smil mail archives I see no > examples of this already suggested. > Personally, I would prefer just <?xml-stylesheet href="timesheet.smil" type="application/smil+xml" ?> This would allow media queries, alternate timesheets and consistency with XSL-T / CSS.Received on Thursday, 23 April 2009 12:12:03 GMT
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Voss Industries,
Dave Detzel,
toll processing,
Corinna Petry
CHICAGO Despite plenty of competition, Voss Industries is humming along and looking to hire more staff, the company says.
Taylor, Mich.-headquartered Voss Industries, a 100-percent toll processor, has the ability to pickle and oil 1.56 million tons of hot-rolled coil and slit 1 million tons of sheet per year at its Voss Taylor plant in Taylor and Voss Clark plant in Jeffersonville, Ind. Both plants operate around the clock, primarily servicing steel producers, service centers and automotive suppliers.
Competition is robust. Voss Industries considers its main competitors in the north to be Kenwal Steel Corp., Dearborn, Mich., and Heidtman Steel Products Inc. and Ohio Pickling & Processing, both based in Toledo, Ohio, outside sales representative Dave Detzel told AMM during a tour of the Taylor plant. "I have five pickling toll processors within 50 miles of here, and most are also service centers," he said.
Voss Clarks nearest competitors are Louisville, Ky.-based Steel Technologies Inc. and Columbus, Ohio-based Worthington Industries Inc. The Jeffersonville location, on the Ohio River across from Louisville, was chosen due to its geographic proximity to Pittsburgh, Cleveland and Chicago.
Nonetheless, Voss Industries two operationswhich employ more than 210 peopleare staying busy and the company is looking to hire additional inside sales staff, Detzel said.
The Michigan pickle line is the first to have a mill-quality leveler, and the line can handle 52,000 to 53,000 tons of steel per month, Detzel said. The Indiana plant can process 80,000 tons per month.
The companywhich is privately owned and does not disclose annual revenuesdoes not own any inventory but holds finished coils for customers. Turnover is typically only two weeks, Detzel said, with service centers usually picking up their coils fastest. Each coil is inventoried and identified by location, so any customer can be walked directly to their product on the floor in minutes.
All comments are subject to editorial review.
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Every month American Metal Market takes a statistical look inside the marketplace.
The Korean producers 'seem to think they have a good case, but personally I wouldn't get overly confident.'
--OCTG trader


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Sept. 14 (Bloomberg) -- A record surge in trade between Asia and Africa to as much as $1.5 trillion by 2020 is prompting companies including AP Moeller-Maersk A/S and Deutsche Post AG to expand shipping links between the continents.
Chinese and Indian demand for commodities from coal to copper and African purchases of such items as automobiles and rice are set to fuel the fivefold rise in trade from $304 billion in 2010, said Anil K. Gupta, who holds the Michael Dingman Chair in Global Strategy & Entrepreneurship at the University of Maryland in College Park.
"Africa has the resources that Asia needs," said Gupta, who is a visiting professor for the Fontainebleau, France-based business school INSEAD, co-wrote the book "Getting China and India Right" and studied in India. "Africa now has an historic opportunity to transform its development, and Asia has begun to look at Africa as a market of high growth potential."
The strengthening ties are part of what HSBC Holdings Plc calls the new "Silk Road" connecting emerging markets and supporting global growth as U.S. and European expansions falter. Shares in Grindrod Plc, Africa's biggest shipping company, and Kumba Iron Ore Ltd. stand to benefit from the trade links to Asia, says private bank and asset manager Investec Plc.
The prospective growth in imports and exports must overcome a legacy of political instability in Africa that has constrained expansion. Most nations in sub-Saharan Africa had a gross domestic product per head of less than $1,000 in 2009, according to the 2011 Africa Progress Report, produced by a group chaired by former United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan.
$2-Billion Fleet
Maersk, Denmark's biggest company, said it's spending more than $2 billion to create a fleet of the 22 largest container ships to connect West Africa and Asia. The so-called West Africa MAX vessels are each about 249 meters (817 feet) long, more than three Airbus A380 superjumbo jets.
"It's a route that gets a lot of attention internally at Maersk, and it's one of the fastest-growing," said Sonny Dahl, director of West Africa services for Copenhagen-based Maersk.
Durban, South Africa-based Grindrod's shares have risen about 12 percent to 14.77 rand ($2) since the company said on Aug. 22 that it was in talks with a potential strategic partner. They remain below a May 2008 high of 28.40 rand on declining shipping rates worldwide, said John Arron, an analyst at Barnard Jacobs Mellet Holdings Ltd. in Johannesburg.
Shares of commodity producers benefitting from exports to Asia are up as well. Kumba Iron Ore, based in Pretoria, South Africa, has risen 34 percent in the past year. The company, the world's fourth-largest supplier of seaborne iron ore, sent 69 percent of its exports to China in the first half of this year.
Commodity Demand
The Africa-Asia trade relationship "in the medium term is going to be about commodities," said Malcolm Gray, a fund manager in Cape Town at Investec Asset Management Ltd., an Investec unit that oversees $94 billion. In 15 years, Africa may provide "a manufacturing capability and labor to the then much more affluent Chinese and Indian markets," he said.
Investec funds held about 2.9 million Grindrod shares and more than 200,000 Kumba shares as of June 30, according to data compiled by Bloomberg.
African resources include a copper belt running through Zambia and the Democratic Republic of Congo that holds 10 percent of world reserves of the metal. Exports of coal are getting under way from Mozambique, which says it has 23 billion metric tons of reserves of the fossil fuel.
Trade between Asia and Africa, which together account for three-quarters of the world's 7 billion people, rose more than 400 percent from 2001 through 2010, data from the United Nations and the Population Reference Bureau show.
Average annual economic growth of about 5 percent in Africa and 7 percent in Asia spurred the record jump, Gupta said.
More Capacity
DHL Global Forwarding, a unit of Bonn-based Deutsche Post, the biggest carrier of air and sea freight by volume, and Marseille-based CMA CGM SA, the third-largest container line, are among other companies expanding links between the two continents.
"There has been a considerable amount of capacity enhancement between India and Africa in the past two years," said Sandeep Pingle, director of marketing and sales for India at DHL Global Forwarding in Mumbai.
Maersk predicts about 15 percent annual cargo volume growth on Asia-Africa sea routes during the next five years.
That outlook signals the company expects trade between the continents to weather threats from Europe's sovereign-debt crisis and a struggling U.S. economy. The risks have unnerved investors, wiping $6 trillion off stocks worldwide this year.
The prediction also indicates an expectation that trade growth will overcome a history of political upheaval in Africa.
Political, Economic Risk
As the continent began gaining independence from European colonial powers, more than 70 coups occurred between the early 1960s and the overthrow of President Mobutu Sese Seko of then- Zaire in 1997, John Reader, honorary research fellow at University College London, wrote in the book "Africa: A Biography of the Continent."
Such instability has yet to be eliminated. In Libya, opposition forces are battling Muammar Qaddafi's supporters for control of the nation. Last year, soldiers seized power in Niger and Ivory Coast descended into violence after Laurent Gbagbo, the former president, refused to cede power following his defeat in a general election. Niger has since held democratic elections and Ivory Coast's winner, Alassane Ouattara, took office.
While conflicts and natural disasters may contribute to growth disruptions in certain African countries or regions, "the fundamental trends and drivers suggest a positive growth outlook for most of the continent," Annan's panel said in the 2011 Africa Progress Report.
'New' Africa
Asia compared with the West "is less fearful of political risk because it's more used to it, and because it's not basing its views on Africa of 20 years ago," said Paul Collier, director of the Centre for the Study of African Economies at the U.K.'s Oxford University. "Africa has improved its business climate, so Asia is seeing the new Africa, whereas the West is remembering the old Africa."
The African Development Bank this month cut its economic growth estimate for the continent to as low as 3.2 percent in 2011 from 3.7 percent. Still, it forecast 2012 expansion of 5.8 percent, compared with International Monetary Fund predictions for U.S. growth of 2.7 percent and European Union expansion of 2.1 percent.
In Asia, growth has slowed from India to Thailand, a moderation exacerbated by elevated inflation and higher interest rates in the region. Even so, the levels of expansion remain among the fastest in the world, led by China's 9.5 percent increase in gross domestic product in the second quarter from a year earlier.
China's Influence
"African-Asian trade and investment flows are unlikely to abate for the foreseeable future," said Harry G. Broadman, chief economist and emerging-markets practice leader at PricewaterhouseCoopers LLC in Washington. "This reflects the underlying secular trend of the explosion" in commerce between emerging markets, he said.
China is also investing in African projects from roads to ports and power plants, as part of a bargain for access to resources that is projecting its rising economic heft across the continent.
Direct investment by China into Africa rose to $9.33 billion by the end of 2009 from $490 million in 2003, the nation's government said last year. Sino-African trade reached $127 billion in 2010, up from $10 billion in 2000, according to China's Ministry of Commerce.
"China has taken the view that Africa provides a good market for product," said Peter Ledger, a fund manager at Cape Town-based Coronation Fund Managers Ltd., which oversees about 240 billion rand. "It's clearly trying to put the appropriate elements in place to support and grow trade."
--With assistance from Michael Cohen in Cape Town, Nasreen Seria in Johannesburg and Kyunghee Park in Singapore. Editors: Anne Swardson, Heather Langan
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Items where Author is "Ekhaese, E. N."
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Ekhaese, E. N. and Omonhinmin, Conrad A. (2014) Seminaling health conditions Associated with Buildings and Life Expectancy of Nigerian Cities Residents. International Journal of Environment and Pollution Research, 2 (3). pp. 1-15.
Ekhaese, E. N. and Adeyemi , E. A. and Atamewan, Eugene Ehimatie (2014) Casual Factors in Evolving Housing Typologies in Benin traditional Architecture. Global Journal of Arts Humanities and Social Sciences, 2 (4). pp. 1-14.
Ekhaese, E. N. and Adeboye, A. B. (2014) Go-Ahead Element of Domestic Architecture: Socio-Economic and Culture Characteristics of the Residents in Benin. IMPACT: International Journal of Research in Humanities, Arts and Literature (IMPACT: IJRHAL), 2 (5). pp. 73-88. ISSN ISSN(E): 2321-8878; ISSN(P): 2347-4564
Ekhaese, E. N. and Ediae, Osahon James (2014) From Home Owners Perspective, "Ikun Concept" of Design in Benin, Nigeria: Some Like It Some Don't. Architecture Research, 4 (1). pp. 20-34.
Conference or Workshop Item
Adeokun , C. O. and Ekhaese, E. N. and Isaacs-Sodeye, F (2013) Space use Pattern and Building Morphology in Yoruba and Benin. In: Building Morphology and Performativity, 2013, Seoul.
Daramola, Adedeji and Ekhaese, E. N. and Oluwatayo, Dapo (2006) The Stabilized and Compressed Earth Bricks: An Innovative Option Towards a Sustainable Home Ownership in Nigeria. In: International Conference on the Built Environment: Innovation, Policy and Sustainable Development, January 24-26, 2006, Covenant university, Ota, Ogun State..
Ekhaese, E. N. (2011) Domestic Architecture in Benin City: A Study of Continuity and Change. PhD thesis, Covenant University.


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Drunk Passengers Force Canada Flight Divert Back to Toronto
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By Sounak Mukhopadhyay | August 29, 2014 11:51 AM EST
A Canadian flight, heading to Cuba, had to return to Toronto on Wednesday, Aug 27, due to passenger disruption.
Reuters/Aaron Harris/Files
Air Canada's Boeing 787 Dreamliner lands at Pearson International Airport in Toronto, in this May 18, 2014, file photo. Air Canada posted a quarterly profit, driven by aggressive cost-cutting, fuller planes and a C$41 million ($37.5 million) tax gain, August 7, 2014.
The Sunwing Airlines flight was apparently disrupted by a couple of female passengers who got significantly drunk. The allegedly "consumed a significant quantity of their duty free alcohol purchase in the plane's lavatory," the official statement of the airline said. The flight was forced to change its travel plans while it was in U.S. airspace and fly back to Toronto Pearson International Airport.
Vice President of Marketing Janine Chapman said that those passengers also lit a cigarette which triggered the smoke detector. The passengers eventually got involved in a "physical altercation with each other." They also "made a threat against the aircraft, which was considered non-credible given their condition," the statement said. The incident was reported to North American Aerospace Defence Command by the pilot who said that the passengers were disruptive "in a serious manner."
A couple of Canadian Forces CF-18 fighters were sent to escort the Sunwing Flight 656 back to Toronto. The flight crews reportedly followed "the appropriate procedure" to divert the aircraft back to Pearson. The disruptive passengers were handed over to police as soon as the plane landed. Peel Regional Police started the investigation to learn about what had happened in the flight. Police have been speaking to witnesses who were on-board. The female passengers, both in their mid-20s, are expected to face charges as soon as the investigators finish talking with the witnesses.
It was the second occasion within the last 35 days that a Toronto flight was forced turn back before reaching its destination. Another flight which was scheduled to fly to Panama was diverted back to Pearson when one of the passengers reportedly made threats while staying on-board. The incident, which also happened on a Sunwing flight, took place on July 25. The accused was later charged with counts of mischief, uttering threats and endangering safety.
The Flight 656 is scheduled to fly again at around 11 pm local time on Wednesday. Detained passengers, meanwhile, were given meal vouchers. Sunwing Airlines authorities apologised to its customers for the inconvenience.
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text: The following video on living with borderline personality dysfunction explains the fear and depression that a young man suffering with a bpd diagnosis experiecd. Alas, help came too late for this likable young man who last year took his life. Thank you so much to his friend who forwarded the video link to me in a Comment in response to one of my earlier posts on bpd. The nine-minute video is well worth watching to the end.


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Marshalls Merchandising Associate Interview Questions
Interview Experience
Interview Experience
Getting an Interview
Getting an Interview
Interview Difficulty
Interviews for Top Jobs at Marshalls
- Sales Associate (38)
- Sales Associate/Cashier (27)
- Assistant Manager (11)
- Cashier (7)
- Retail Sales Associate (4)
- Merchandise Associate (3)
- Sales Floor Associate (3)
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- Store Associate (2)
- Assistant Store Manager (2)
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- Merchandising Associate (2)
- Shoes Associate (2)
- Customer Experience Coordinator (2)
- Back Room Coordinator (1)
- Loss Prevention Trainer (1)
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- Warehouse Supervisor?mod (1)
- D/C Supervisor (1)
- Cashier/Customer Service (1)
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- Manager (1)
- Any Available Position (1)
- Key Carrier/Merchandise Coordinator (1)
- Retail Management (1)
- Janitor (1)
- Operation Manager (1)
5 Candidate Interview Reviews Back to all interviewsSort: Popular Date Difficulty
Merchandise Associate Interview
I applied in-person. The process took 3 days – interviewed at Marshalls in September 2013.
Applied in store and got called the next day to set up an interview. Went in for the interview and waited about 10 minutes then got called back. Interviewer printed out a list of questions to ask and wrote down all my responses. Very casual and quick.
Other Interview Reviews for Marshalls
Merchandising Associate InterviewApplication Details
I applied in-person. The process took 2 weeks – interviewed at Marshalls.Interview Details
Interview questions are very basic. The hiring manager is a good person and very considerate.Interview Questions
Accepted Offer
- None. Everything is normal and easy. Answer Question
Merchandise Associate InterviewApplication Details
I applied in-person. The process took 4+ weeks – interviewed at Marshalls in August 2012.Interview Details
I walked in and filled out an application. The manager called me in the next day, and we had an interview. During our interview, she was bagging on me about my references. She basically said come to back to her with good references and she'll consider hiring me. So I gave her references and she called back like a month later saying I got the job.Interview Questions
Accepted OfferNeutral ExperienceEasy Interview
- Where do you see yourself in five years? Answer Question
Merchandising Associate InterviewApplication Details
I applied in-person – interviewed at Marshalls in June 2012.Interview Details
I had two interviews, the first one with the hiring manager and the second one with the store manager. Both of them asked me fairly simple questions (standard interview questions) and the store manager basically clarified with me about what the hiring manager went over with me.
They both mainly described the position I would be working in and checked with me that I would be satisfied working in that department.Interview Questions
Negotiation DetailsMinimum wage.Accepted OfferPositive ExperienceEasy Interview
- No questions were really unexpected. Answer Question
Merchandise Associate InterviewApplication Details
The process took a day – interviewed at Marshalls in October 2011.Interview Details
I applied online at snagajob.com, then the next day I was called in for an interview. I went to the interview extremely nervous, then when I met the manager he took me to his office and we started the interview. At first we just had a conversation, then he pulled out papers [I assume my application] and we went over if I agree to the pay and understand the job, then he asked me some questions. I don't remember all of the questions, but it was like "Best costumer service?" "best qualities?" "worst qualities?" "worst costumer service?" "how did you handle a situation in which you and a person didn't get along?" and asked me what I want to be when I'm older. It took about 30 minutes. I went home, then he called again around 9, but I was asleep and figured he'd call back again, which he didn't. I never heard from Marshalls, but I'm glad. I now work at JC Penneys. I heard that the pay is not worth all of the work at Marshalls. He said he would start me at 7.82 or something, but I would only work like 20 hours a week, if that. Maybe sometimes more, maybe less.Interview Questions
No OfferNeutral ExperienceEasy Interview
- "When was a time you experienced bad costumer service, how did you handle the situation?" Answer Question
- "How did you handle a time where you and a person didn't get along?" Answer Question
- Look at the paragraph I typed, there's more questions there. Answer Question
Is this helpful? The community relies on everyone sharing – Add Anonymous Interview Review


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2011: Did not playPersonal: Majoring in Finance Economics with the goal of becoming an accountant…Parents are Eric and Terri Bosanac…attended Strongsville High School where he played soccer and football…his greatest sports accomplishment would be going to the State Semi-Finals with Strongsville in '09.
Capital University is a private four-year undergraduate institution and graduate school located in the Columbus, Ohio, neighborhood of Bexley. Copyright © 2014 Capital University


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Mechwarrior Cheats for Super NintendoHome / Super Nintendo /
This page contains Cheats for Mechwarrior organized by sections for Super Nintendo. Mechwarrior is a Simulation Sci-Fi Mech game, made by Beam Software and published by Activision. If you can't find a hint or secret in our list, then please check this page periodically for the latest updates.
- Developer:
Mechwarrior Super Nintendo CheatsBeam Software
- Publisher: Activision
- Genre: Simulation Sci-Fi Mech
- Release Date: Not Set
- ESRB: Not Set
Press Start to pause game play after landing on a planet. Press A, L(2), Y, A, L(2), Y, A, L(2), Y. The word "Invincible" will appear to confirm correct code entry....From: cheatthrower
Start a new game and play the following missions in order: Riot Duty on Zhada, Riot Duty on Solaris, Assault on Quilon, and Siege on Dalview. All four missions must be completed without talking to Cearle. Enter the Zero-Zero club and speak with Larmen Sholest to receive the money....From: ihelpusimsfords
Stuck on this game? Set a specific, clearly defined question and let others answer your question or view answers to previously asked questions. If you think you are an Mechwarrior expert then please try to help others with their questions.
Chibi Maruko-Chan: Mezase! Minami No Island!! - Gameplay Video
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Logos Panic: Goaisatu - (OPENING - GAMEPLAY)
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Sold Out $19.99
Mapema Malbec 2009
Malbec from Argentina, South America
Winemaker's Notes
Intense purple color with shades of violet. Heady aromas of kirsch, cocoa, mint and exotic woods make you want to keep inhaling deeply. Red & black cherry flavors coat the palate, and the oak tannins frame the intense fruit flavors, keeping them from taking over the place! This Malbec is as good on the second day as it is on the first—if you can avoid finishing it! It is a great example of "cool weather" Malbec—it has all the spicy/fruity character of the grape, but it also has a deeper, more serious side.
Best with meats such as pork (grilled or roasted loin), grilled hamburgers or steaks, and lamb prepared any way you like. Good with goat, too.
Critical Acclaim
Wine Spectator - "A superflashy style, boasting lots of melted licorice, fruitcake, fig paste and black currant preserve flavors, which all stay pure and focused on the creamy, lengthy finish. A hedonist's delight. Drink now. 2,800 cases imported. "
The Wine Advocate - "Fragrant black cherry and black raspberry, oak in background, touch of balsamic, lots of fruit."
Mapema Winery
View all Mapema Wines
About ArgentinaView a map of Argentina wineries (ahr-jen-TEE-nah)
Notable FactsUnlike its Chilean neighbor, Argentina's vineyards are spread out around the country. The best known region is Mendoza, almost parallel to Santiago to the west. Mendoza contains the sub-regions of Maipu (pronounced MY-pu) and San Rafael. Grape-wise, the most important white is Chardonnay, making wine similar to California's style on the variety. Another fun white grape to try is Torrontes. Almost only grown in Argentina, Torrontes makes wines that are crisp, aromatic and easy-drinking. Some of the best versions of this wine come from the northern region of Salta, with very high altitude vineyards. As for the reds, Cabernet Sauvignon is the main grape for many wines leaving the country, but Malbec, the grape Argentinians like to call their own, makes very distinctive wines that are structured, dense and velvety. Many more varieties happily grow in the country, but for export, and consistent quality, these are the primary grapes.
About South AmericaRelated Links:
Young, organically farmed Carmenère at Chile's De Martino estate vineyard
Customer ReviewsSign In to Add Your Review3.5 }div>3.7 out of 5 stars
- 5 Stars: 0
- 4 Stars: 1
- 3 Stars: 1
- 2 Stars: 0
- 1 Stars: 0
2 ratings, 1 with review
Alcohol By Volume GuideMost wine ranges from 10-16% alcohol by volume. Some varietals tend to have higher (for example Zinfandel and Cabernet Sauvignon) or lower alcohol levels (Pinot Noir and many white varietals), but there is always some variation from producer to producer. Some wine falls outside of this range, for instance Port weighs in closer to 20%, while Muscat and Riesling are usually a bit below 10%.
Wine Style Guide
Light & Fruity
- Red wines that are more fruit-forward and lighter in tannin and body.
Smooth & Supple
- Medium bodied reds that go down easy, with smooth tannins and supple fruit.
Earthy & Spicy
- Wines where earthy and/or spicy dominate the flavors – typically medium to full body.
Big & Bold
- Full bodied wines that have concentrated fruit and are higher in alcohol and/or tannins. Some need age.
- 5 Stars:


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Sunday's fallen tree cut power to 849 in Plymouth
PLYMOUTH — A tree that fell on Route 72 Sunday evening knocked out power to more than 10 percent of the town and kept the road closed until Monday morning.
Police said no one was hurt when a tree fell across power lines at 7 p.m., taking down two utility poles and blocking the road near North Main Street.
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Zhizn' Popolam
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This page has been viewed 18 times this month, and 304 times total.
Zhizn' Popolam
English Title: Life In Two PartsZhizn' Popolam (Life In Two Parts) (1965) Theatrical Cartoon by Dave Koch
This page has been viewed 18 times this month, and 304 times total.
- Theatrical FilmTheatrical
- Traditional Animation
- Kievnauchfilm
- Voice Actors: Alla Kazanskaya.
- Directed By Ippolit Lazarchuk.
- Animated By Nina Churilova, Ephrem Pruzhansky, V. Demkin, Boris Khranevich, Eduard Kirich, Adolf Pedan, Vladimir Goncharov, L. Telyatnikov, A. Vadov, Ya. Gorbachenko.
- Written By Victor Slavkin.
- Music: A. Mukha.
- Originally Released in 1965 (Estimate).
- Originally Released Theatrically.
- Color
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English Title: "Life In Two Parts."
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DailyAmerican Home
Somerset Hospital
Somerset High School
Helen G. Matthews, 81
October 10, 2004
Helen G. Matthews, 81, South Columbia Avenue, Somerset, died Oct. 9, 2004, at The Patriot nursing home in Somerset. Born April 2, 1923, in Fort Wayne, Ind., the daughter of the late Arthur A. and Edna L. (Bere) Boyers. Preceded in death by parents; sister, Dawn and husband, Michael. Survived by six children: Dr. Josephine Matthews, Towson, Md., Dr. Michael Matthews, Niles, Ohio, John S. Matthews, Macon, Ga., Mark J. Matthews, Sipesville, Blase C. Matthews, New Carlisle, Ohio, Teresa Matthews Miller, LaVale, Md.; nine grandchildren and one great-grandchild.
Edwin G. Fierst, 81
December 10, 2003
Edwin G. Fierst, 81, of Bakersville, passed on Dec. 9, 2003, at home. Born Nov. 9, 1922, in Pittsburgh, he is the son of the late Henry and Josephine (Goldball) Fierst. He is also preceded in death by his wife Mary in 2000 and brother Henry. He is survived by his sister Phyllis Burns of Gurnee Ill., niece Cynthia Burns of Kittery, Maine, nephew David Burns of Gurnee, good friends Sonny Breeger of Chalfont Borough and Tina Ulmer and family of Bakersville, special friend Dorris Costantino of Somerset, and godchildren Charlene Shawley and Bob Kramer.
Agnes M. Hamilton, 73
January 31, 2007
Agnes M. Hamilton, 73, Somerset, died Jan. 30, 2007, in Pittsburgh. Born May 27, 1933, in Johnstown, she is the daughter of the late John J. and Loretta E. (Borek) Chronowski. Also preceded in death by her husband, Charles Hamilton. Survived by daughter, Mrs. Rocky (Denise) Myers, Somerset; and brothers and sisters, Thomas Chronowski and wife Mary, Ocala, Fla.; Mrs. Robert (Betty J.) Larson, McKees Rocks; Mrs. Ernest (Gloria A.) Stern, Quecreek; Ronald J. Chronowski and wife Betty, Jenners Crossroads; and John A. Chronowski and wife Judith, Friedens.
Julie M. (Rocus) Pipta, 95
October 17, 2003
Julie M. (Rocus) Pipta, 95, of Holbrook, N.Y., formerly of Jerome, died Oct. 17, 2003 at home of daughter. Born July 1, 1908 in Gallitzin, daughter of John and Mary (Pesta) Rocus. Preceded in death by parents, husband of 54 years Michael J. Sept. 19, 1980, daughter-in-law Rose Mary (Makar) Pipta, sisters Margaret, Magdaline, Ann, Elizabeth and Mary and brothers John, George, Andrew, Michael and Paul. Survived by these children: Charles R., Jerome, Margaret married to Joseph Cavaliere with whom she resided and Henry G. married to Elaine McCarthy, Houston, Texas.
Helena A. (Tomko) Popovic, 86
February 6, 2007
Helena A. (Tomko) Popovic, 86, Windber, went to be with the Lord Feb. 5, 2007, at home. Born April 14, 1920, in Mammoth, daughter of John and Anna (Pollack) Tomko. Preceded in death by parents; husband, Frank Popovic; and brothers, Steven and John Tomko. Survived by children, Kathie, wife of Joseph Croyle, Johnstown; and Ron Popovic, married to the former Gloria Mercik, Bellefonte; grandchildren, Krysteen Duncan, Ryan and Jason Popovic; great-grandchildren, Lakyn, Alex and Austin.
Joseph E. Dickey, 87
August 24, 2004
Joseph E. Dickey, 87, Meyersdale, died Aug. 24, 2004, at Meyersdale Medical Center. Born April 16, 1917, in Meyersdale, a son of the late Joel and Genevieve (Lancaster) Dickey. Also preceded in death by two brothers; Ralph and James; stepdaughter, Judy Lee Weimer and great-grandson, Aaron Edward Short. Survived by his wife, the former Anna M. Neimiller; four grandchildren: Brian L. Short, Lisa A. Michael, Todd E. Short, and Jodie L. Alfonso; and six great-grandchildren. Joe was a veteran of the U.S. Army, having served in World War II. He retired from GTE in 1979 with 33 years of service.
James B. "J.B." Rice, 79
October 12, 2004
James B. "J.B. " Rice, 79, Meyersdale, formerly of Alexandria, Va., died Oct. 11, 2004, at Meyersdale Medical Center. Born Jan. 25, 1925, in Charlottesville, Va., a son of the late James B. and Myrtle (Myers) Rice. Also preceded in death by his brother, Charles E. Rice. Survived by his wife, the former Palma K. DiFebo and a son, Kenneth L. Rice, married to the former Nancy Tuscano, Oak Hill, Va. Also two grandchildren, James J. Rice, married to the former Melissa L. Stanley and Alicia L., wife of Kris K. Southwick; a great-granddaughter, Chloey Isabella Rice and a number of nieces and nephews.
Carol A. Devlin
November 4, 2006
Carol A. Devlin, Carlisle, died Nov. 2, 2006, at her home, surrounded by her family and friends. Born in Spangler, the daughter of Helen Yodchick Andyshak, Heilwood, and the late George M. Andyshak. Surviving are her husband of 35 years, Mike Devlin; brother, George L. Andyshak, Northern Cambria; sisters, Helen L. King, Erie; and Monica Ankyshak, Connecticut; and many loving nieces and nephews. Carol was a member of the St. Patrick Catholic Church, Carlisle. There will be visitation from 7 to 9 p.m. Sunday in the Hoffman-Roth Funeral Home, 219 N. Hanover St., Carlisle.
Flora Sidari, 86
September 7, 2007
Flora Sidari, 86, Somerset, passed on Sept. 6, 2007, at home. Born Aug. 18, 1921, in Naples, Italy, she is the daughter of the late Alberto and Emelia (Stochi) Garafalo. She is also preceded in death by her husband, Ugo Sidari, in 1970; sisters, Silvana Garafalo and Adriana Latuch; and brother-in-law, Tony Latuch. She is survived by her children, Joseph Sidari and wife Rita of Somerset, Silvana Hottle and husband, Jeffrey, Friedens; and Vince Sidari and fiance, Christine Hauser, Boswell; grandchildren, Suzanne Hunt and husband, Joseph; Christopher Sidari and wife, Melissa; Briana Sidari; Trisha Fetty and husband; DeWayne; Tiffany Hottle; Anthony Sidari; and Erika Sidari; five great-grandchildren; brother, Fernando Garafalo of Rockwood; and sister Dora Esposito of Boston.
Walter E. Kowaleski, 85
October 13, 2004
Walter E. Kowaleski, 85, Clearfield, formerly of Somerset, died on Oct. 12, 2004, at Riverside Hospital in Columbus, Ohio. He was born Feb. 22, 1919, in Mount Pleasant, a son of the late Lewis and Sophie Kowaleski. In addition to his parents, he was preceded in death by six sisters and six brothers. He is survived by two children Richard J. Kowalewski and wife Sherry, Warsaw, Ohio; Judy Zazworsky and husband Lee, Granville, Ohio; six grandchildren Richard Kowalewski Jr. and wife Julie, Florence, Ky.; Sean, Ryan and Kevin Kowalewski, all of Warsaw, Ohio; David and Jessica Zazworsky, both of Atlanta, Ga. He retired in March of 1984 from the Federal Bureau of Mines.
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