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Northwestern Lehigh School District
|Northwestern Lehigh School District
|6493 Route 309, New Tripoli, PA 18066
|Black and Gold
|Dr. Mary Anne Wright
|Radio Station
|87.5 FM "The Tiger"
Northwestern Lehigh School District is a public school district in the northwestern corner of Lehigh County, Pennsylvania, in the United States. It serves Heidelberg, Lowhill, Lynn, and Weisenberg Townships.
The district is composed of approximately 2,400 students, with three elementary schools, Weisenberg Elementary, Northwestern Lehigh Elementary and Circle of Seasons Charter School, one middle school, and one high school. All schools offer gifted programs and special education programs. In 2004-2005, the Northwestern Lehigh School District completed a Facility Master Plan (FMP) to analyze and document the status of all District facilities. The purpose of the FMP was to determine the extent, priority, and estimated costs of much needed facility repairs. Based on this study, the District engaged the help of many employees and community members to prioritize the needed repairs, renovations, and construction, and align this work with District resources.
High school[edit]
Northwestern Lehigh High School was built in 1950. Over the years, the school has received numerous additions, the most recent being in 2007-2008. A new gym, and 5th grade wing was added onto the elementary school, and the 5th grade moved down to the elementary school due to the lack of space in the middle school. Prior to the construction of the High School building, students completed their education at either Parkland High School, Slatington High School or Kutztown Area School District. Starting in the 2009-2010 school year and completing in the 2010-2011 school year the high school received major renovations to its interior structure. Several new classrooms were added and most of the buildings classrooms and facilities were updated. A new guidance suite, school store, media center/library are just some of the new additions to the high school.
The school offers an Advancement Placement program. Upon completion of Advanced Placement courses, students may take a test administered by the College Board and may be eligible to receive college credits for the course work.
- Principal: Aileen Yadush
- Assistant Principal: Donald Allen
Middle school[edit]
The middle school began construction in 1991 to relieve overcrowding. It was completed in the summer of 1992. Prior to its completion, middle school students attended the high school building. In 2005, a new addition containing science labs was constructed. In 2006, the 5th grade was moved to the elementary buildings, and the middle school developed the philosophy of "teaming". Six teams were developed, two per grade level.
|6th Grade
|7th Grade
|8th Grade
- Grade: 6th
- Symbol: Lantern
- Motto: Leading the Way
- Color: Purple
- Grade: 6th
- Symbol: Compass
- Motto: Searching for Excellence
- Color: Green
Before the 2012-2013 school year, Team Roar was one of the 8th grade teams, along with Team Lynx.
- Grade: 7th
- Symbol: Pawprint
- Motto: Don't Just Make Your Mark, Leave Tracks
- Color: Orange
- Grade: 7th
- Symbol: Puzzle Piece
- Motto: Gathering, Connecting, Accepting, Together
- Color: Orange
- Grade: 8th
- Symbol: Lynx
- Motto: Lxnx-To Success
- Color: Gold
Before the 2012-2013 school year, Team Visionaries was one of the 7th grade teams, along with Team Mosiac.
- Grade: 8th
- Symbol: Delta Symbol\Triangle
- Motto: Quest for Wisdom, Purpose, and Strength
- Color: Red
- Principal: William Dovico
- Assistant Principal: Amy Wahl
Elementary schools[edit]
Northwestern Lehigh School District is home to two elementary schools: Northwestern Lehigh Elementary, which is located on the main campus along with the high school and middle school, and Weisenberg Elementary, which is approximately 8 miles south.
- Northwestern Elementary Principal: Maria Pulli
- Weisenberg Elementary Principal: Jill Berlet
Morning Show[edit]
The school is home to The Morning Show, a school news program broadcast via closed circuit television through the district. The show was brought to life by students. A live web stream of the show is available at: The Morning Show Live Stream.[1] The Morning Show is produced in the studio, where the radio show is also developed. The Morning Show also contains a side segment called "Weekend Weather", in which one of the hosts performs a laid back, non-scripted version of a weather forecast.
Tiger TV[edit]
Tiger TV is the middle school's news program, like the high school's "Morning Show". It is produced by a few 8th graders of each graduating class with the help of teachers. It is shot live, every school morning in a studio room located in the 'new wing'. Tiger TV started in the 2006-2007 school year with the class of 2011.
Tiger Vision[edit]
Tiger Vision is an Elementary version of Morning Show it is produced by select 5th graders and is shot live once a week. A different group of 5th graders star in it every week. At Weisenberg Elementary the program is called Tiger Time and it is produced weekly.
Notable alumni[edit]
- Carson Kressley, fashion expert on Queer Eye
External links[edit]
- Official website
- Northwestern Lehigh Alumni Association.
- Northwestern Lehigh Educational Foundation.
- NorthwesternCARES - Community Group.
- Northwestern Lehigh School District Review at greatschools.net.
Coordinates: 40°39′07″N 75°44′08″W / 40.65199°N 75.73562°W


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Axed Ferrari engine boss Luca Marmorini has hit out the Scuderia, revealing he met Marco Mattiacci twice - once to say hi and then to say bye.
Following on from the departure of Stefano Domenicali earlier in the season, Ferrari parted ways with Marmorini at the end of July.
Deemed responsible for Ferrari's poor first season in the new 1.6-litre V6 era, Marmorini is adamant that not all "the problems of the F14T are the fault of the power unit."
"As if in a company with the history of Ferrari had forgotten how to make your engines!" he told Italian author and F1 insider Leo Turrini.
"I mean, I accept any criticism, but do not tell me that at Maranello there are people who do not know the business of turbos, hybrids, etc."
Marmorini also revealed that in the three months that he worked with new boss Mattiacci they "exchanged few words" and only "saw each other twice."
The first of those two meeting was "for the greetings, the second when he gave me a letter that confirmed my departure from the company.
"I do not want to accuse anyone. For real.
"I will point out, however, that Ferrari is entrusting its road racing department to inexperience people who are using advisors who has so far shown nothing which is blind faith."
He added: "Ferrari run the risk of damaging the bedrock on which which the many past successes were built.
"I do not speak for me as I am out. But I am sorry for the engineers I know who are still there, good people who are demoralised."

subset: commoncrawl


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|New Living Translation (NLT)
|New International Version (NIV)
|10 On the seventh day of the feast, when King Xerxes was half drunk with wine, he told Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, Abagtha, Zethar, and Carcas, the seven eunuchs who attended him,
|10 On the seventh day, when King Xerxes was in high spirits from wine, he commanded the seven eunuchs who served him--Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, Abagtha, Zethar and Carcas--
|Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. (New Living Translation - The Bible Online)
|Scripture quoted by permission. Quotations designated (NIV) are from THE HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica. All rights reserved worldwide. (New International Version Bible Online)


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Long before the NBA arrived, missionaries, revolutionaries, and communists helped make the game ubiquitous here.
LeBron James smiles during a photo session with university student volunteers in Shanghai / Reuters
Inside the cobblestone courtyard of the Forbidden City and surrounded by six-century-old palaces lies an unexpected sight for foreign tourists. As they walk under the giant portrait of Mao Zedong and pour through the dark archway of the Tiananmen rostrum, they arrive at two well-maintained basketball courts, their green astroturf and gray concrete clashing with the ancient crimson columns and the dusty yellow tiles.
Basketball is never out of place in modern China. Its ubiquitous presence often surprises first-time visitors, many of whom consider the sport quintessentially western. Ambling in quiet street parks in early mornings or walking by urban high school campuses in late afternoons, one hears chasing steps, a thumping ball, shouting voices, and the silence of anticipation followed by joyous cheers. Driving along unpaved roads on China's inland plateaus and steppes, one starts to notice the basketball stands and hoops flashing by -- lone statures amid wooden shacks and wild grass. Outside the manufacturing plants that sprinkle the nation's east coast, workers swarm into basketball courts after finishing their shifts to stretch the limbs numbed by long hours on the production lines and to break the monotonous daily routine with sweat and laughter.
An estimated 300 million Chinese people play basketball -- roughly equivalent to the entire population of the United States, according to the Chinese Basketball Association. Many Americans are just now learning of China's enthusiasm for the sport as the success of Jeremy Lin, a California-born Knicks player of Chinese heritage, becomes an international phenomenon. But the sport is almost as old in the land of Lin's ancestors, and maybe even more popular, than it is in the U.S.
"First-rate basketball players were all from the military teams."
Introduced to China over a century ago by YMCA missionaries just a few years after the game's 1891 invention in Springfield, Massachusetts, basketball has seeped into the fabric of Chinese lives. Until the NBA arrived in early 1990s, basketball had come to feel so intrinsically Chinese, most people did not even associate it with America. Unlike in the U.S., where a garden of sports -- from baseball to football to ice hockey -- all play a part in shaping a diverse athletic landscape, in China, basketball is perhaps the only true national sport, the only sport that brings together people of all backgrounds and kindles the nation.
Some of the first groups that embraced basketball in China were college students, western-minded scholars, and, most importantly, members of the Communist party, who loved the sport for its cohesive power. During the Long March (the Red Army's storied year-long retreat in the 1930s to evade the Nationalist army), Communist soldiers and officers played basketball to lift their spirits and boost solidarity.
The party continued to support the sport after it took power in 1949. During the Cultural Revolution, Mao declared war against almost all Western bourgeois affections, from classical music to novels, but he never wavered in support of basketball. Deprived of all forms of cultural enrichment and lacking the most basic athletic equipment, children and young adults roamed around their neighborhoods, setting up boards and hoops in alleys and courtyards and pouring their energy into the simple game of shooting the hoops. "At that time, China had basically only two sports: basketball and ping pong," my father, a teenager during the height of the Cultural Revolution and a devout basketball fan told me. "If you were young and loved sports, you only got these two to choose from."
The People's Liberation Army has long encouraged many of its two-million-plus active duty service members to play basketball for its ability to cultivate camaraderie and even tactical teamwork among soldiers. Under slogans such as "Boost National Image" and "Friendship First, Competition Second," basketball became the most popular pastime in the military camps. Different levels of military hierarchy were divided into something like leagues, which hold regular tournaments among their teams. For a while, many star players received high military ranks and such perks as separate dining, cars, and expensive clothes.
"From 1949 to the early 1980s, the first-rate basketball players were all from the military teams, with the Bayi at the top," recalls Wang Yongzhi, the associate editor in charge of Olympic sports coverage at Tencent.com, China largest web portal. He was referring to the Bayi Rockets, an all-military men's team named after the founding date of the PLA (bayi means August 1). It dominated Chinese basketball well into the 1990s, producing stars such as Wang Zhizhi, China's first player to enter the NBA. Though favored by the country's old military system, Bayi couldn't keep up with the changes of the 1990s and saw its dynasty decline as commercial basketball leagues entered the market and started importing foreign players. Most recently, the team captured international media coverage for brawling with players of the Georgetown Hoyas in a supposedly friendly match last fall.
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Why won't you just show us your cop check, unless you're lying about it.
Why won't you just show us your cop check, unless you're lying about it.
That is what the person that told me that I was confirmed to be to Town sent to me. BUT! URGH! You might think that I forged it, so I ask @FinalArcadia; to confirm it for me.Originally Posted by FinalArcadia
so you're saying you got the cop result that proves you're town? screenshot nao
My life is a nightmare
Okay so I wasn't here for a few days. What happened? Any leads?
Ryou Bakura, Yami Bakura, and I live together in Lief's bedroom. Back off
I don't think I'm supposed to be allowed to confirm or unconfirm things like that... ^^;
Vote: @Human;
I got my claims down on Quagsire, Miror B, Roar and Sand Stream.
Winner of Burned Planet Mafia and Plants vs Zombies Mafia.
Do you have paint? It's easily to blacken out the avatar/name/gender of the sender with that.
So take the screenshot and black out/crop out the person's identity.
And perhaps @Neonsands; could confirm or deny your claim that you got checked?
You can crop the picture or cover it over with paint or something so they wouldn't know.
I go eat lunch watch a little bit of the olympics and come back to 3-4 pages O_o all on my comment
EDIT: Ninja'd
Credit for the Banner goes to Pyradox. Link to URPG stats
Mafia Win/Lose Tally | My Fanclub
Winner of LOST mafia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Mafia 2, Bloons Tower Defense 5 Mafia, Fos Ro Mafia, Legendary Pokemon Mafia, War Room Mafia 5, Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn Mafia, Pokemon Movie Mafia and more
Yeah, the host doesn't confirm stuff in public exactly, Human ^^;
Seeing from his words, I'd rather believe that he's been checked than not. Besides, that check seems to have flavor text. I doubt that he could have faked that much.
@Axle Helios; I meant the first Day phase. Not the last one.
It seems the most suspicious right now are Human for multiple reasons already stated, Fresa for that comment though I'm not sure how much, and I would say Mintaka. Despite most going against Human she's defending him. I find this suspicious.


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Meaning and name origin
Kam \kam\ as a boy's name is a variant of Kameron.
Kam is also pronounced similarly to Cam, Kim and Kwame. Other suggested similar baby names are Ham, Kahn, Kai, Kaimi, Kain, Kaj, Kana, Kane, Kano, Kay, Kaz, Kean, Ken, Khan, Kian, Kimo, Kram, Kwami, Ram, Sam and Tam.
Kam is not a popular first name for males but a very popular surname or last name for all people (#14280 out of 88799) (2000 U.S. Census).
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Does Adam smoke?:
I was wondering if Adam smokes. I have his calendar and the January picture is him smoking and i have seen a video of him at a concert and he blows smoke on Monte's guitar. So, does adam smoke?
Replies for this Forum Topic
Not quite sure, he did drugs but i dont think he does smokes
He did drugs well at least he stopped doing that and I really hope he does not smoke cigarettes its just a scary thought living in a world without him. That just does not feel right.
I really hope not. Adam...You are too sexy for smoking or drugs. Don't let those things damage who you are or how beautiful you look. Stay strong & sexy adam. LUV YA FOREVER!!!
He used to do drugs, and he did used to smoke cigarettes, but I do know that he was smoking weed at that show (it was Amsterdam) where he blew smoke on Monte's guitar, BUT he was singing Purple Haze AND it was legal there (right? Oh God, RIGHT?!), so obviously he was doing it for the novelty. I do remember that he tweeted (assumedly for that shoot where he's smoking a cigarette) about how it was VAPORENE, no tobacco, and he seemed very adamant that we understood he wasn't actually smoking. I think he realizes it's bad for him. I don't think he's doing it right now, but if he were to start up again, we all are gonna start spamming the heck out of all his social media to get him off of whatever. I, luckily, do not think this will be necessary any time soon.
Yeah.. I Think he Really Smoke. Did you ever watch his show that he smoke? And the Cover of magazine??
I don't want him to but he does sometimes. The drugs were scary, but he's off those now. Let's hope it stays that way. It would be really horrible if he lost his voice, and I think I would die without him. I have successfully gained three more Adam followers these past two days and I've got another one on the hook. They said that if he falls apart, that we (us four) would get him a care package and an angry note telling him to get it together. But then at the end, or on the backside or whatever, we would automatically say that we are sorry and that we still love him.
PLEASE DON'T SMOKE ADAM! We glamberts love you just the way you are
I know he did drugs i hope he still doesn't and I hope he dosen't smoke either cause it nasty stuff and he'll ruin his voice. Personally I abosolutly hate everthing about smoking. Both of my parents smoke cigarettes and I hate the smell, the d@mn ashes that go everywhere, inhaling that smoke, I just hate it. Oh and I get to walk around smelling like ash tray even though I don't smoke, not fair. sorry end of rant/vent.
Ok, so a bunch of you guys are talking about Adam doing drugs. When he was smoking pot on stage, that was somewhere in eurpoe and its legel there. So that wasn't that bad. Also, he's admited to experieminting with drugs but I don't think he does them anymore. execpt for the odd occasion at a party or something. Another thing is, of a person dose drugs a lot there will be large swings in their personality. We don't see this in Adam. So I would say drugs are, for him most likely one of thoose things you do for fun every once in a blue moon. not enough to harm him.
As for ciggs, I know he DID smoke them. (sourse: An interview where he was asked about his first kiss. He said the girl he kissed also gave him his first cigg.) If he still does, I have no clue. Your guess is as good as mine.
Maybe try tweeting him? idk...
STAY HEALTHY!!! I love the lambert!
Yeah Adam ca do anything. Hes an incredible man X)
something tells me he can get through it...
Yeah it's really scary and i hope Adam will be okay...
@black I didn't know he did drugs either until this post. It scares me a bit...
I really hope he doesn't, I didn't know he did drugs I'm really sad to hear that I just hope he isn't doing drugs now because it destroys the body's natural functions and I really don't want to see Adam being hurt in any way.
i hope he doesnt because i find smoking unattractive but he is too attractive for that even to knock the tiniest dent in the way i see him. he is the best no matter what.
i thought he did. but i dunno, maybe he did but doesnt now? and i hope he is DONE AND DUSTED WITH THE WHOLE DRUG THANG!
I seriously hope he doesn't and I'm pretty sure he doesn't.
Hm. If he does then I hope he takes good care of himself, cuz smoking can do some BAAAD things to you. Anyway, if he does, I still love him all the same!
he did drugs someyears ago.. HOPE HE IS DONE WITH DRUGS, SERIOUSLY.
and i don' know if he smokes cigarrettes or not... many people smoke, i smoke too
but what is really important is that he is done with drugs (i hope)
hmmmmm... this makes me think.
well, I STILL LOVE HIM and always will.
i know he used to do drugs a while ago don't know about now...
All I know is that he smoked/did drugs a while ago...like a lonnnggg time ago.
The smoke you saw on Monte's guitar was when he was smoking weed at the Amsterdam show of Glam Nation. Just pointing taht out (:
I sure hope he is done with all that.
I sure hope he is done with all that.
I'm not quite sure, he did do drugs for a while a few years back, bt I think he's pretty much done with all of that.


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What will Saturday Night Live joke about when it premieres this weekend (11:30 pm, NBC)? Election season is over and they keep firing funny people. Thank God we still have Andy Samberg's digital shorts to look forward to.
SNL fires Michaela Watkins and Casey Wilson
Though the new SNL promo featuring Samberg and host Megan Fox made us crack a smile (namely that "keep it in your pants" bit), we're hoping for something at least as funny as these past digital-video hits. Check out our top 10 favorites and then weigh in on yours:
[Warning: Some of the clips contain adult language or situations.]
10. "Andy's Dad" (2008)Featuring: Jonah Hill
ABC's Modern Family (premiering Wednesday, 9/8c) is one of the funniest new sitcoms, hence its inclusion in our list of Editors' Picks for the fall. What makes it so special? Read on.
While other shows are quietly hustling for votes before the Emmy Awards on Sept. 20, Family Guy is going for the not-subtle approach. Check out their campaign for a best comedy win in the videos after the jump.
Britney Spears has upped her sexy factor — and comedy rep — by appearing on The Late Show with David Letterman in nothing but a teeny, black bikini.
In her first appearance on the late night show in nearly three years, the bikini-clad pop princess kicked off the second leg of her Circus tour by reading Letterman's "Top 10" list, "Top 10 Ways ...
read more
On this Music Monday (#musicmonday for you Twitter folk), TVGuide.com wants to recognize Kevin Heinz and Jill Peterson and their ever-so-unique walk down the aisle at the start of their wedding ceremony.
Find more YouTube hits using our Online Video Guide
Instead of holding out until the reception to bust a move, the entire wedding party — five groomsmen, seven bridesmaids, four ushers and the newlyweds-to-be — used the quiet church's aisles to show off entertaining dance moves, to the tune of Chris Brown's "Forever."
Watch the original church boogie video, followed by their recreation on the Today show plaza Friday after the jump.
The Chuck panel at the San Diego Comic-Con was literally music to fans' ears.
Get the latest from Comic-Con 2009
Following a video clip in which show bosses Josh Schwartz and Chris Fedak and star Zachary Levi pretended to be blindsided by Chuck's renewal, Jeffster — aka the micro-band formed by Buy More buds Jeff and Lester — ignited the event with a most unexpected and thoroughly rousing live performance of ...
read more
The producers of Lost are inviting fans to "Rock your Lost on!" and write a theme song for the ABC series.
The winning tune will probably never actually appear on the show, but will have an exclusive debut performance at the San Diego Comic-Con later this month.
Get scoop from TVGuide.com's Getting Lost videos
In a posting of the rules at ABC.com, the show bosses say ...
read more
Jimmy Fallon has yet to pull off his full reunion of the Saved By the Bell cast, but on Monday night's show he offered a treat to the show's fans.
That is, Zack Morris offered the treat, dropping by the late-night talker to claim that he is in fact a real dude, and that "Mark-Paul Gosselaar" is simply the stage name he adopted upon graduating from Bayside High and eventually becoming an actor.
Gosselaar shares with TVGuide.com the full story on how the spoof came to be, after the jump.
read more
Eminem is confirming that his surprise run-in with Brüno at the MTV Movie Awards was a pre-arranged stunt.
"Sacha [Baron Cohen] called me when we were in Europe and he had an idea to do something outrageous at the Movie Awards," he told RapRadar.com. "I'm a big fan of his work so I agreed to get involved with the gag."
In their staged Sunday gag, a thong-clad...
read more
The "face-off" between Sacha Baron Cohen's bare backside and Eminem's mug came as a surprise to the viewers of Sunday's MTV Movie Awards, but just how shocked was the rapper also known as Marshall Mathers?
To hear host Andy Samberg's head writer, Scott Aukerman, tell it, not at all.
Ending nearly 24 hours of silence from all involved parties, Aukerman took to his blog to set the record straight: "Yes, the Eminem-Bruno incident was staged. They rehearsed it at dress [rehearsal] and yes, it went as far as it did on the live show."
As previously reported, Cohen's "Bruno" alter ego ...
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Gone GirlAuthor:Gillian Flynn Hypnoman (Bayside, NY) In Gillian Flynn's brilliant new book Gone Girl we take an exaggerated look at a society obsessed with getting the edge at all costs. Most of us are flawed, granted, and have experienced feelings of rage, disappointment, second guessing, or confusion within a relationship. Even hatred and a thirst … Read more
Bared to You: A Crossfire Seta's Reviews GOOD WRITING: I've read Sylvia Day in the past, and her writing flows. There are no annoying typos, actually I found one, but the novel is not typo-ridden, which seems to be a common thing with Kindle books. There was some repetition but the author's vocabulary is wide … Read more
Fifty Shades Darker: Book Two of the Fifty Shades Trilogy searockstar In this second book of the Fifty Shades Trilogy, the romance continues between Christian and Ana from Ana's point of view… and what a busy POV it is! I have enjoyed this story since it was on the author's website, so it's no surprise … Read more
Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy david shobin/thatch pond corp First, a disclaimer. I am a male senior citizen, a semi-retired gynecologist whose customary literary fare is spy novels and military techno-thrillers. I have never read a romance before, except perhaps for junior high's "A Tale of Two Cities" (or … Read more


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Aside from our editorial we are committed to providing programing and resources that make pursuing your own venture possible.
Take a look at our various live events. Whether a workshop, a conference or a local happening, we are committed to helping you launch and grow your venture, and make a difference in the process.
Stay tuned for more opportunities coming soon.
October 16th, 23rd & 30th SOLD OUT
This workshop is designed to help would-be entrepreneurs and those in the start-up years further develop their idea and business. You will walk away from our time together with a comprehensive action plan to take your concept from thought bubble to viable business, complete with the resources and strategies to make it all happen.
We will meet once a week for three weeks, allowing time to develop concepts and strategies, better understand your market and how to connect with it, and discuss how to get the funds you need to start-up and the advice you need to stay on track.
The class size is intentionally small (no more than 10 women) to provide each person the attention their concept deserves and the feedback necessary to further develop their brand and ultimately launch (or relaunch) successfully.
Week 1
You and Your BIG Idea: Getting your concepts in writing and developing your elevator pitch.
Welcome to Your World: Understanding your industry and competition.
Bull's Eye: Identifying your target market.
From Strategy to Reality: Creating a strategy to both launch and operate your venture.
Week 2
Make Some Noise: Communicating with your target market.
Get Some Attention: DIY Public Relations, branding, advertising and yelling from the mountaintop.
Rules of Engagement: Your virtual identity–building a website and social media presence that produces results.
Give Back: How to make a social difference with your venture when you're a for-profit venture, and why it's important.
Week 3
Action Plan: Creating a living business plan (we're talking 4 pages max!)
Raising Dough: Coming up with the funds you need through crowdfunding platforms, friends and family, and angels.
Make It, Track It, Keep It: Budgeting, sales forecasting and bookkeeping tools and tips.
People Skills: Building the team of people you need so you can work on your business, not just in it.
Workshop leader Nada Jones is the founder of ltd365.com, ltdLIVE and author of Sixteen Weeks to Your Dream Business.
October 16th, 23rd & 30th SOLD OUT
9:30 am-4:30 pm
Lunch break 12:30-1:45 (grab something from a local restaurant or bring your lunch, hang-out and catch up on emails and texts–we know how it is.)
More Los Angeles, New York and Denver dates coming soon. Email firstname.lastname@example.com to inquire.
$500–that's less than $29 an hour for launching your fabulous future! The price also includes worksheets and other supplies needed throughout the class, plus a goodie bag full of girlie treats.
The Unique Space, 1275 E. 6th Street, Los Angeles, CA (in the heart of the Arts District)
Still not sure? We get it! It's an investment of time and money. Here are 10 reasons why we think it's the best investment you'll make for your future. Read what others have said about their ltdWORKSHOP experience with our founder, Nada Jones–it'll give you a little more insight into what you can expect to walk away with.
1) "Nada Jones is water for the thirsty entrepreneurial soul. Her approach offers sound advice as to how you can turn your dreams into reality." -Jill, Art Director at the Walt Disney Company and Fine Artist
2) "A business woman with a heart! Nada truly cares that your vision is carried out in a way that best suits your business and life goals. She is very good at helping you articulate your creative thoughts!" -Diane, Founder of Crushtique retail chain
3) "I was instantly drawn to Nada's positive energy and start-up knowledge. Her seminars are filled with valuable information, but the most important takeaway was the feeling that I too could have my own business." -Tricia, Stylist
4) "I took Nada's seminar and came away not only feeling confident in my ideas and ability to realize my entrepreneurial dreams, but with a confidence and renewed belief in myself as a person. Nada has a gentle and intuitive way of helping you uncover your own possibilities." -Rebecca, Aspiring Entrepreneur
5) "Nada's seminar was not only eye-opening from a social media perspective (what to do, what not to do) but it also encouraged me that I can do this. I was able to sift through what I did and did not what my business to look like, work with my partner on those things, plan for it and move forward. So worthwhile, so helpful…and the sense of camaraderie in that wonderful group of women was a testimony to Nada's leadership that we women need to stick together to make our dreams a reality." -Jill, Founder of Jill.Cate Design and Letterpress
6) "I appreciated Nada's awareness and knowledge of simple, down-to-earth tools and applications to launch my vision. The clear framework she outlined on how to approach my venture was so accessible and her no-nonsense approach is refreshing. All of these, in parallel with her approachable personality is a powerful force that has enabled me to dare to be different." -Diane, V.P. Human Resources HP
7) "Nada's wealth of knowledge regarding launching new businesses as well as her dynamic and engaging personality gave me hope and encouragement for my personal vision. I would highly recommend seizing the opportunity to take one of her workshops, if at all possible!" -Rosalind, Writer and Aspiring Children's Book Author
8) "Nada Jones is an empowering voice–not just to women entrepreneurs, but to all women wanting to find meaning and make a contribution through their lives! Her wit and wisdom and personable style are not only encouraging but empowering! She is a force to be reckoned with!" -Pam, PhD, Assistant Professor of Family Studies
9) "I loved Nada's class. I have been to others that also have the exciting, inspired feeling but the difference with her class is that you also gain tangible information and know-how to put into action immediately. You not only walk away each time inspired but with a new level of confidence that you can now achieve lift off." -Ryan, Founder of Savoir Flair and Tin Parade
10) "I felt recharged and renewed after being with such fabulous budding entrepreneurs. Nada facilitated so well and she has the art of distilling a wide body of opinions/facts into a small set of salient take-aways. She also understands how to best utilize social media for your line of business, always with the bottom line in mind. You will leave motivated and much more informed than you dreamed when you walk out the door – ready to start your new venture!" -Tamara, Co-founder of Salt Ink & Press
ltdWORKSHOP COMING YOUR WAY:
Interested in taking an ltdWORKSHOP at a later date, or in a different city? We've got more dates and a few more cities coming your way so stay tuned, but if there are dates and/or a city you had in mind, drop us a note and we'll see what we can do.
Are you ready to launch or grow your entrepreneurial venture? We're ready to be your partner on that journey. Join us for ltdLIVE, May 15th and 16th, 2014.
Get the information, resources and tools you need all from the comfort of your office or home (wherever you and your computer happen to be). That's right! ltdLIVE 2014 is going digital this year to allow women everywhere to get the inspiration, resources and education they need to move their businesses and their lives forward.
WHO: Entrepreneurs, solopreneurs, freelancers and anyone considering entrepreneurship.
WHAT: A two-day digital conference with all the inspired speakers, informative seminars and practical resources you've come to expect from ltdLIVE. Take advantage of the Q&A sessions and connect with other seminar attendees without leaving your office or home. No traffic, no airline tickets or hotels to pay for, no scheduling child care, and no questions asked if you choose to wear your lululemon pants to participate!
WHY: Easy access and popular demand. We're bringing the experts and resources straight to your computer and allowing women across the country to participate.
WHEN: May 15th and 16th.
WHERE: Wherever you and your laptop happen to be at the moment.
HOW: Participate in the conference virtually– simply choose the seminars that suit your specific needs and schedule, download speaker notes and tune in for the presentation. And if you're worried that you won't be able to meet with other like-minded women–think again. We have some fancy online tools to get you connected to speakers, sponsors and attendees alike.
COST: $150 for an all access pass.
All Access: Participants receive access to their choice of 7 seminars over 2 days, plus a keynote speaker, interviews and Q&A sessions, downloads of conference materials and a goodie bag delivered to your door!
DREAM FOR A DREAM: With your help, we will give charity: water, our Dream for a Dream partner, 10% of ticket sales to create clean water, educational, leadership and entrepreneurial opportunities for women. We help build your dream, and in turn you help another women build hers.
We're excited to bring this innovative conference format to a national audience. We hope you'll join us!
Click here for the schedule, here for speakers and here for FAQs.


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Using Amfphp 1.9 with the Adobe Flex 2 SDK
Submitted by michael_ramirez44 (Contact Author) (Forums) on Fri, 2007-02-23 13:44. :: PHP
Using Amfphp 1.9 with the Adobe Flex 2 SDK
This article shows how you can make PHP interact with Adobe Flex. Adobe Flex is a technology to support the development and deployment of rich Internet applications based on their proprietary Macromedia Flash platform.
The following is a list of the required libraries to run this tutorial. I recommand the you download all the files before starting the tutorial.
Apache Ant
Extract the contents of apache-ant-1.7.0-bin.zip to your hard drive. We will refer to this location as [ANT_HOME]. Make sure you add [ANT_HOME]/bin to your system path.
Flex Ant Tasks
Extract the flexTasks.jar file from flex_ant_tasks_012307.zip into the [ANT_HOME]/lib directory.
Flex 2.01 SDK
NOTE: You must have an Adobe Account to download the Flex 2 SDK.
Extract the contents of flex_sdk_2.zip to your hard drive. We will refer to this location as [FLEX_SDK].
Project Workspace
Directory Structure
Choose a location on your hard drive to store your project. Create a new directory with the following directory structure. We will refer to this location as [PROJECT_HOME].
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Before we can start using Amfphp we must first edit the gateway.php file located in the [AMFPHP_HOME] directory. Edit the charset setting. Select the charset appropriate for your language. In this case we will be using the English charset. Replace the original charset with the English one below.
$gateway->setCharsetHandler( "none", "ISO-8859-1", "ISO-8859-1" );
Creating the Employee's table
This tutorial assumes that you are fimilar with basic MySQL administration. If you need assistance with MySQL please refer to the MySQL Documentation.
For this tutorial we will be using the test database that comes pre-installed with MySQL. Login to your MySQL server and selected the test database. Execute the SQL script below to create the Employee's table.
CREATE TABLE Employee (
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HUBER, Wolf
(b. ca. 1490, Feldkirch, d. 1553, Passau)
Landscape with Castle1545-50
Ink drawing
Ducal Graphic Collection, Wolfegg
Like Altdorfer, Huber also produced plausibly naturalistic representations of imaginative landscapes. But his enchanting vies elicit a greater interest in the atmosphere trough the use of voids and short quick strokes of pen.


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Apartment Rental Search in 06070 Zip Code Area 0 mile radius
More Info
Search by zip code for 06070 Apartments on ForRent.com. To narrow down your apartment search, select from the links below to narrow your search, or refine your search to the left.
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Harwood Heights, IL 60706
Mont Clare at Harlem Avenue Luxury Apartment Homes
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- Age / Gender:
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Hello, I am current stupid student, and former 8-year old c*nt: Madjasper1. Thanks for reading.
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Hello everyone, sorry I haven't been very active recently. When I got out of school (at last), I was meant to be working on UTool v2.0, and then my new Stickfigure Fight Animation, and then Black Circle Dude Episode 2, but I took some time off, it was going to be temporary, but I then got back into Yu-Gi-Oh! and I continued playing that and forgot about all of the work I was meant to be doing. I'm still playing Yu-Gi-Oh, but I'm going to try and be a bit more active here as well, I can't guaruntee that I will be, but I'm going to try. Also, I just started College last week, and it's more stressful than I imagined even though I'm doing 3 days a week.
Anyway, since capner hasn't been too active himself, I'm going to leave UTool v2.0 for the moment, and I've been meaning to make Windows 8 Errors since Windows MEE, but I never got around to it. I've had some ideas on how to make it different, but I'm not sure if people will like the changes that I'll make, so I'm making a "Beta". It's actually more of a demo, but I'm calling it a Beta because I'm using it so I can make changes for the real Windows 8 Errors.
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text: HomeTVOne Life to LiveOLTL's Ron Carlivati Talks Kyle Sleeping With Fish(es) Jamey Giddens June 19, 2009 One Life to Live 5 Comments One Life to Live head writer Ron Carlivati offers a bit of insight into Oliver Fish (Scott Evans) suddenly struggling with his sexuality to Michael Fairman for Soapside, Fairmain's new bi-weekly column for Advocate.com. Here's how the talented Mr. C explains Fish going from banging town sluts and crushing on Layla to sharing awkward moments with frat brother Kyle (Brett Claywell). "Oliver Fish (affectionately known as Fish) is a young police officer and self-described computer geek looking for a second chance to date his female roommate, Layla Williamson. But what is the secret behind his strained relationship with his former best friend and fraternity brother, medical student Kyle Lewis? As the truth about their past begins to come to light, we will go on the journey with Fish as he struggles to come to terms with who he really is." Be sure to check out Advocate.com this coming Monday for Fairmain's interview with Scott Evans, where they talk about his brother, movie star Chris Evans, discussing their relationship and little bro's sexuality last January in The Advocate. 5 Responses sudsmuffin June 19, 2009 I was really hoping this wouldn't be a "coming out of the closet" storyline for Fish. I've seen that on other soaps. Why can't he just be bisexual? Has that been done with a man before on soaps? Maybe that's how it'll turn out, but reading between the lines, it sounds like RC is going the coming out way with Fish. Log in to Reply dkp June 19, 2009 Love the Titles Jamey. Does look like a coming out story, which I know many say that "played out", but I actually enjoy a good coming story. Can be rather soapy. While would be nice to have a bisexual character, my fear is once the gay romance is done, they'd use that as an easy out and just have said character go back to dating strictly women Log in to Reply Aviad June 19, 2009 and the insight is that we will go on a journey? geez, I'm more blind that Adam Newman Log in to Reply valso June 19, 2009 it sounds interesting Log in to Reply appleridge June 21, 2009 RC will do this right. Maybe in the end Fish could be Bi. Im thinking this may be a story about realizing that also finds his own sex appealing sexually. I dunno just an idea. Log in to Reply Leave a Reply Cancel Reply You must be logged in to post a comment.


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Industry giants General Motors and LG Group have just announced that they are joining forces to design premium electric vehicles. LG will bring its expertise in battery systems to the relationship, enabling General Motors to expand their fleet offer of electric vehicles. The partnership will benefit consumers by providing the latest and best fuel-efficient technology at a faster rate.
GM's partnership with LG could make them the leading manufacturer of electric vehicles in the industry. Working together they could find innovative solutions to electric vehicle design, and create more vehicle options for their customers while raising the bar for the entire industry.
Recent worldwide emission and fuel consumption regulations also motivated the partnership. The U.S. Corporate Average Fuel Economy (CAFE) must be 54.5 mpg by 2025, a goal which can be met by the usage of electric vehicles.
New to the automotive industry, LG engineers will work closely with GM on vehicle structure and design. LG already provides the battery cells for GM's Chevrolet Volt and Opel Ampera, and the relationship tightened with the introduction of the Chevrolet Cruze electric vehicle. The partnership is a giant step for the advancement of making electric vehicles on par with traditionally fueled vehicles in the eyes of the consumer.
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Jill FehrenbacherDid you know that there are wolves living near you in almost every state in the country? Sadly most of these wolves are not living in the wild, but in wolf sanctuaries, which are conservation organizations set up to protect them and help grow their populationREAD MORE >
Yuka YonedaNamba Parks was conceived when Osaka Stadium closed down, presenting a great redevelopment opportunity for a new commercial district right next to the Namba Train Station, which is just one stop away from Kansai Airport. Since it's one of the first placesREAD MORE >
Beth BuczynskiTop image: A child is put to work at a militia-run mine in Watsa. © Marcus Bleasdale/National Geographic Captured during a 2004 visit to the war-torn Democratic Republic of Congo, Bleasdale's images "tell the story of the country's mineral resourceREAD MORE >
Jill FehrenbacherYou've all heard the tired mantras about changing your lightbulbs and recycling at home in order to save the planet - are you yawning yet? Many consumers think that going green is a gesture of self-sacrifice that often comes at great expense and inconvenienceREAD MORE >
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Jill FehrenbacherTIP 1: Wrap Your Home in Insulation - "The More, The Better!" Proper insulation is probably the most important factor you can control in creating an energy-efficient home. I always say insulation is like chocolate, the more you have, the better! On average,READ MORE >
Kestrel JenkinsWhile conjuring up comfort in the home seems like a basic principle, it's a far more complex process for architect & remodeling guru Sarah Susanka, who believes that comfort can significantly influence the sustainability of your personal abode. WithREAD MORE >
Lidija GrozdanicTwo architects, Jos Burger and Wouter Keijzer of BK. Architecten, in charge of the renovation of the old church decided to preserve the atmosphere of the existing place with a spatial intervention that preserves its historical value. The three new floors wereREAD MORE >
Morgana MatusFor centuries, the Dutch have manipulated the landscape to move water away from their dwellings. Instead of battling the elements, Netherlands-based firm Waterstudio just announced plans to construct the world's first floating apartment complex in 2014! TheREAD MORE >
Tamsin Woolley-Barker, PhD.The Biomimicry Manual: What can We Learn About Resilience, Weight Loss, and Kidney Disease from the Grizzly Bear?I'm off to the wilds of Montana this week, doing some in-person, up-close biomimicry research, and I've got my fingers crossed I'll see a grizzly bear. But you know, over there, not over here. With five inch long claws, massive muscular shoulders and forearms,READ MORE >
Bridgette MeinholdINHABITAT: How does the term Colorfast describe your latest show? R Nelson Parrish: The term Colorfast originally is a textile industry term derived at the beginning of the last century. It defines how a color cannot fade, wash out, or be diluted over time,READ MORE >


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The powerful typhoon that swept across the Philippines, one of the strongest storms ever to make landfall, cut a path of destruction through several central islands, leaving the seaside city of Tacloban in ruins. As many as 10,000 people are believed to have died in that city alone, officials said today.
"The devastation is, I don't have the words for it," Interior Secretary Mar Roxas said. "It's really horrific. It's a great human tragedy."
The U.S. is sending emergency supplies as well as troops to assist with search-and-rescue operations.
Typhoon Haiyan is headed toward Vietnam, where it is expected to make landfall Monday morning.
Comments are encouraged, but you must follow our User Agreement
Keep it civil and stay on topic. No profanity, vulgarity, racial slurs or personal attacks. People who harass others or joke about tragedies will be blocked. By posting your comment, you agree to allow Orange County Register Communications, Inc. the right to republish your name and comment in additional Register publications without any notification or payment.


text:
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text:
Replace the audio track in a video
You have a video with an audio track (call it
video.mp4). You have an audio file (e.g.
audio.mp3) that you want to put on the video, replacing the original audio of the video file.
With Audacity, you can open both
video.mp4 and
audio.mp3 and you can synchronize the
mp3 to match the original audio. Important points: speech/music should start at the same time, and its length should be the same or a little bit less than the original audio.
Once you have a good
audio.mp3 file, do the replacement with the following command:
ffmpeg -i audio.mp3 -i video.mp4 -c copy final_video.mp4
Solution #2
Before the previous solution, I used Avidemux, but it tends to crash sometimes :) When I have such videos where Avidemux crashes, I use ffmpeg from the command-line.
Lots of Ruby conference videos
HTML / CSS / JavaScript video tutorials
Check out http://www.developphp.com/ for HTML / CSS / JavaScript video tutorials. As I saw they are freely available!
Software Development Videos and Tutorials: Java, .NET, Ruby, Python, Agile, Software Testing
RUIN – An animated short set in a post-apocalyptic universe
RUIN – An animated short set in a post-apocalyptic universe.
Thanks Jeszy for the link.
Lord Raiden's case with the guitar
Meet the musical side of Lord Raiden:
Ewan Dobson – Time 2
Video lectures
"VideoLectures.NET is a free and open access educational video lectures repository. The lectures are given by distinguished scholars and scientists at the most important and prominent events like conferences, summer schools, workshops and science promotional events from many fields of Science. The portal is aimed at promoting science, exchanging ideas and fostering knowledge sharing by providing high quality didactic contents not only to the scientific community but also to the general public. All lectures, accompanying documents, information and links are systematically selected and classified through the editorial process taking into account also users' comments.
Please check our Frequently asked Questions section and promotional video." (source)
Some topics:


text:
The Critic (1994–1995)
Duke Phillips: Why the hell do you have to be so critical?
Jay Sherman: I'm a critic! It's my job!
Duke Phillips: No, your job is to rate movies on a scale from "good" to "excellent."
Jay Sherman: What if I don't like them?
Duke Phillips: That's what "good" is for.
[filming a commercial]
Orson Welles: Rosebud... yes, Rosebud Frozen Peas! Full of country goodness and green pea-ness. Wait, that's terrible. I quit!
Jay Sherman: So... Ardeth... How's my favorite ex-wife?
Ardeth: The judge says every time you speak to me it'll cost you a hundred dollars.
Jay Sherman: Here's TWO hundred. Get bent!
Jay Sherman: Lady, don't take this the wrong way, but you're nuts!
Old Lady: Oh, you sound just like the toaster.
Jay Sherman: Mom, Dad, I never made you laugh.
Franklin: Well, I did chuckle a bit when you tried to eat that bird and fell over the cliff.
Eleanor: No, Franklin, that was the Roadrunner.
Jay Sherman: No, that was me.
Duke Phillips: Well, like most of America's cultural elite, I worship Pan, the goat god.
Duke Phillips: Thank you, Jay. After I die, you can eat my brain. It will give you power.
[Jay gets struck in the head with a shotput]
Jay Sherman: Skull cracked... Brains leaking out... Can't wait to see new Chevy Chase movie...
Jay Sherman: Don't worry, son, if you think that only handsome musicians can get beautiful women, I have two words for you: Lyle Lovett.
Marty Sherman: I thought that he was handsome.
Jay Sherman: You're thinking of Jon Lovitz. With his good looks, he takes the cake!
Theater Clerk: Excuse me, the show's over.
Alice Tompkins: Get away, pipsqueak!
Jay Sherman: That's why I love her!
Jay Sherman: Well, first of all, I'd like to thank you for all the years of laughter and tears!
Adam West: What tears would those be?
Jay Sherman: Why, tears of... laughter!
Doris: Kiss my surprisingly firm butt!
Judge: Mr. Phillips, please answer the question!
Duke Phillips: All right! Yes, I sold the mustard gas to Qaddafi!
Judge: What?
Duke Phillips: Uh... mustard... gives me gas, as does taffy.
Judge: I have the same problem with fresh fruit.
Jay Sherman: What's that sulfur smell coming from the egg bin? Ah it must mean the eggs have ripened. Wait a minute! Eggs don't ripen! Eggs don't ripen!
Jay Sherman: [yelling] Who died and made you El Presidente?
Marty Sherman: [whispering] Dad, that's Castro!
Duke Phillips: Gaze into the hypnotic power of my evil eye!
[Eye flashes]
Duke Phillips: Is there a follow-up question?
Reporter: [hypnotized] How may I serve you, evil one?
Jay Sherman: [singing] I love French films, pretentious boring French films! I love French Films, two tickets s'il vous plaît!
[man punches him]
Jay Sherman: Ow!
Jay Sherman: [finishing a movie review] ... and that's why Goldie Hawn should be shot!
Franklin Sherman: I was the head of a trucker's union once. That reminds me... there's a lot of money and some dead bodies buried in the back yard!
Franklin Sherman: [after Jay sees his lost son on TV] Just reach in there and pull him out! That's how I met 'the Fonz'!
Alice Tompkins: Whenever he sings to me, I melt like butter on a bagel. God, I've been in New York too long!
[Jay is getting "hair" sprayed on his head before a show]
Jay Sherman: Ah, this new stuff feels great. Where'd you get it?
Doris: Some kid was spray painting "King Dork" on your car with it.
Marty Sherman: But I can't act!
Drama Teacher: That's what a young Steve Guttenberg said to me, but look at him now! No, wait... look at him four years ago.
Duke Phillips: I like to think of you as a big, fat toilet I flush all my money down... sort of a Johnny Cash.
William Shatner: Hello-I'm-William-Shatner-and-this-is-"Celebrity 911." Tonight-we-devote-the-entire-hour-to-police-calls-involving-James-Caan...
[makes face]
William Shatner: CAAN!
Franklin: I have a new girlfriend for you, son. Her name is Barbie and she lives in Mali-boo. She already has a boyfriend named Ken, but he's not much of a man,
Franklin: ... I checked.
[End Credits]
Usher: Excuse me, sir. The show's over.
Jay Sherman: Is the snack bar still open?
Jay Sherman: That's why the best actor of this generation, and every generation, is Ned Beatty.
Doris: What could you do with me in three days?
Duke Phillips: Honey, I could make you Mrs. Ernest Borgnine.
Doris: Pass!
Jay Sherman: I can't die like this! I have holes in my Little Mermaid underwear!
[Doris is dragging Sherman down the stairs]
Doris: Let me know if you're suffering any brain damage...
Jay Sherman: [falsetto] Dance with me, Tony! Dance with me!
Doris: You're fine.
[repeated line]
Jay Sherman: It stinks!
[repeated line]
Jay Sherman: Hotchie Motchie!
Jay Sherman: Celebrity voices are impersonated. No celebrities were harmed in the filming of this episode.
[on phone]
Eleanor: Jay, this is your mother. Your father and I are taking you out of our will; we feel you already have enough money. Oh yes, and happy birthday!
Duke Phillips: Look, this isn't art. It's just mindless pabulum for losers who can barely read. Oh, that reminds me, I've got an interview with People Magazine.
Jay Sherman: I always have to look my sexiest. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42 pants!
Jay Sherman: Take your genitalia right back to Australia!
Jeremy: Jay, we have a saying in Australia... well, it's not really a saying, it's a drinking song. It's about a bottle of beer and the men who loved her... and it doesn't really apply here, but my advice to you is slow down.
Jay Sherman: Please you've got to tell me, did a beautiful woman leave my apartment?
Doorman: I wouldn't know, I've been drinking in the alley all morning.
Rod McKuen: [a scene from "Rabbi P.I."] If you're really a Rabbi, circumcise this child.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: [throws the scalpel at the father, hitting him square in the heart and killing him] Hava nagila, baby!
[on phone]
Gene Shalit: Hi, this is Gene Shalit. I'm having a bad hair day. If you don't believe me, look out the window!
Duke Phillips: I'm giving you five days of my time to turn you around.
Jay Sherman: What if five days isn't enough?
Duke Phillips: Son, I spent just three days with a young man named Bill Clinton, and look at him now!
Jay Sherman: Maybe you should've taken four.
Duke Phillips: Yeah...
Jay Sherman: ...And that's why I'm glad The Beatles broke up!
[in Indecent Proposal II movie]
Robert Redford: I'd like to sleep with your wife and I'm prepared to pay... six dollars.
Demi Moore: Last time you paid us a million!
Robert Redford: I know! At the time, I was worth one million and six dollars!
Jay Sherman: Next year, you could be head of the studio.
Security Guard: No, *last* year I was head of the studio. A twelve-picture deal with Shelly Long seemed like a good idea...
Jay Sherman: Jeremy, you're just an actor! You don't know how to use that thing!
Jeremy: It's just a gun for god's sakes, not a bloody Xerox machine!
Gene Siskel: Well I thought that movie was very poignant. Especially the part where Tom Cruise is going around Las Vegas with a bucket full of his brother.
Roger Ebert: Aw, c'mon, Gene. That was just another pointless sequel that didn't need to be made.
Gene Siskel: This, from the man who liked 'Benji the Hunted?'
Roger Ebert: Hey, you liked 'Carnosaur!'
Gene Siskel: Well I bet you'll like this!
[punches thrown]
Gene Siskel: Hasta la vista, Porky!
Roger Ebert: Cue ball in the side pocket!
[punches thrown]
[on phone]
Al Pacino: HOO-AH! Jay this is Al HOO-AH Pacino. I can't stop saying HOO-AH! Go see my new movie, Godfather Part HOO-AH!
Jay Sherman: [Driving a truck] I've got to keep driving, I can't stop for anything!
Roadside Farmer: Meet Ingmar Bergman, 25 cents!
Jay Sherman: [Disappointed] Oh...
[Keeps on driving]
Roadside Farmer: [to Bergman] Well, you'd best get back to the strawberry patch with Polanski and Bertolucci.
Marty Sherman: Being President's hard work. All the other kids want to do is goof off and eat candy!
Jay Sherman: Son, as President, you're above that.
[remembers Ronald Reagan being sworn in]
Ronald Reagan: I do solemnly swear that as your President, I will goof off and eat candy.
[falls asleep at podium]
Crowd: Four more years! Four more years!
Jay Sherman: You're old enough to be my mother.
Doris: So? You're fat enough to be my car.
Theater Employee: Excuse me, sir. The movie's over.
Jay Sherman: I'm stuck in the chair!
Jay Sherman: Well, here's what I think...
[Jay's interrupted by Duke]
Duke Phillips: Sorry, son, our research shows that people don't care what you think. They just tune in for the funny clips.
Alice Thompkins: Listen to your heart.
Jay Sherman: Everybody always says that.
Jay's Stomach: Nobody ever listens to me!
Orson Wells: I have gone to a better place. A place filled with Mrs. Pell's Fish Sticks. Yes! Oh yes! They're even better when you're dead!
Franklin Sherman: I'm not wearing pants. I split my pants, and now I'm not wearing pants!
Duke Phillips: I'm gonna run this country like I run my company: I'm gonna raid the pension fund, dump chemicals in the oceans, and sell our best assets to the Japanese.
Ronald Reagan: Ooh! Looks like Reaganomics is making a comeback!
Duke Phillips: Half you states are in the toilet, and you're not coming out! New York, you know what I'm talking about. California, kiss your smoggy butt goodbye! New England, you're going back to Old England.
Queen Elizabeth: Oh, I don't want that!
Prince Charles: More poison? I mean, tea?
Queen Elizabeth: Don't mind if I do... Oops, almost had me there!
[She hits him over the head with her scepter, knocking him unconscious]
[a scene from Arnold Schwarzenegger in "Rabbi P.I."]
[a bum comes up to Arnold and pulls out a gun]
Bum: Eat lead, rabbi!
[Arnold pulls out a shotgun and shoots him]
Arnold: Sorry, that's not kosher!
Franklin: Son, I'm going to run for Vice President. And I'm going to be honest with the American people, I'm not going to wear this toupee anymore!
[Rips the hair off the top of his scalp]
Jay Sherman: Dad, you don't wear a toupee.
Franklin: I will from now on.
Cyrus Thompkins: Fine, I'll come back tomorrow, you think about it and talk it over with your gay friend.
Alice Thompkins: Jay is not gay!
Jay Sherman: [offscreen] Thank you! Not that I've been eavesdropping...
[Jay plays an accordian while he sings]
Jay Sherman: [singing] Cyrus is just a virus / He wants to tie you down while you're still young / Your potential is what's essential / You can someday be another Connie Chuuuuuuung!
[Alice's estranged, philandering husband tries to woo her back with singing]
Cyrus Thompkins: [singing] Lover, without you there's no other...
Jay Sherman: [interrupting, singing] Give him a chance, he'll do your mother.
[Jay plays his answering machine]
Gene Siskel: [on machine] Hey, Jay! It's Gene Siskel. I've decided I'd like YOU to be my new partner. Let me know if you're game so I can tell Rex Reed to get lost.
Roger Ebert: [on machine] Jay, it's Roger Ebert. How'd you like to be my new partner? Give me a call so I can get Rex Reed out of my hair.
Rex Reed: [on machine] Jay, it's Rex Reed. I don't care if you got the job. I've got a NEW partner.
[a monkey screeches on the tape]
Rex Reed: [on machine, proudly] That's right, Pauline Kael!
Jay Sherman: God love her, Mom, I couldn't change her mind. You should be proud she has your will.
Eleanor Sherman: She may have my will, but she doesn't have my gun!
Dressmaker: We dressmakers have a very strict code, so I need to know. Do you deserve to wear virginial white? Because if you don't, you'll have to wear an off white, what we call a "hussy white". So which will it be? White white?
Margo Sherman: Yes... um, except for the gloves.
[first episode of the web series]
Jay Sherman: Hello, this is Jay Sherman, coming to you at the speed of light!
[cut to wide shot; Jay's legs are still loading]
Jay Sherman: Come on, come on... Oh, my God! Are my legs that fat?
[Legs done loading]
Jay Sherman: Ah, that's better!
Jay Sherman: My least favorite part was when you spit poison in the obnoxious fat guy's face!
[Dilophosaurus hisses and spits at him]
Jay Sherman: I did *not* see that coming!
Jay Sherman: [to son on phone] And remember, you don't have to listen to your stomach.
Jay's Stomach: What was that hogwash you've been feedin' the boy?
Jay Sherman: Nothing, Master, I said nothing.
Jay's Stomach: Very well. Now dance for me!
[dances to Arabian tune]
Fat Camp Counselor: You've lost two pounds.
Jay Sherman: Yes! Back to my college weight!
Police Chief: [in "Beverly Hills Robo K9 Cop and a Half 2" movie] You'll be partnering with a woman, a cute little kid, an ugly old dog, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun.
Leprechaun: I'll be your lucky charm!
[Leprechaun explodes]
Police Officer: [who looks suspiciously like Arnold S] You think you've got problems? I'm partnered with a pig, an alien, Siamese twins, a sofa, and a second rate mime.
Duke Phillips: [on the phone with Webster's Dictionary] And how's that other word I invented doing, "Duke-licious?" Nobody's using it? What a "Duke-tastrophe... "
[Reviewing Haing S. Ngor in "The Killing Fields"]
Jay Sherman: If you ask me, he should've gone to the "Acting Fields"!
Eleanor: Can't one dinner pass where we don't talk about your rotting corpse?
Franklin: Oh son, if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times... who are all you people?
Jeremy: Bubbie, never marry an actress. And never do blackface at the NAACP Image Awards... two things I've learned from experience.
Jay Sherman: Why are you helping me?
Jeremy: Because you're the only decent guy I've met in this whole Godforsaken country. I love you, mate.
Jay Sherman: Wow, twice in one day!
Vlada Villamiravitch: I love you too.
Jay Sherman: You just love me for my money.
Vlada Villamiravitch: This is true, but it is a love that will never die.
Jay Sherman: Oh, my shrink was right! God does hate me!
Jay Sherman: I'm sitting on a volcano of rage and I have nowhere to release it.
Marty Sherman: Hey, here's a critic's pass to the new Sylvester Stallone picture.
Jay Sherman: What's it about?
Marty Sherman: He plays a concert pianist who...
Jay Sherman: [Jumping up] To the multiplex!
Marty Sherman: Yay!
Duke Phillips: Jay, we need something to take the edge off of you. Hmm. How bout a sassy black kid? He can call you "Uncle J," and you can call him "Little Shabazz."
Franklin: There's a reason there's a banana in my ear. I'm trying to lure the monkey out of my head.
Eleanor: Franklin, my life is an endless grey corridor.
Franklin: I've been there too. Usually there's a midget making googly eyes at me. I call him Mr. Picolini.
Dressmaker: Whoopsie, I swallowed a pin. That's gonna be a fun little journey!
Jay's ex-wife: Jay, your alimony payment is eight minutes late; I'm calling my lawyer.
Franklin: Great news, Wilson! My wife is happy!
Owl: Who?
Franklin: My wife, Eleanor.
Owl: Who?
Franklin: My wife, Eleanor.
[hours later]
Owl: Who?
Franklin: My wife, Eleanor.
Jay Sherman: On the Shermometer this film rates an absolute zero! BRRR!
Reporter: Mr. Phillips, you are fabulously wealthy, you're a world class athlete, you were great in bed last night! How does that feel?
Duke Phillips: I have no one to envy. I envy you having me to envy.
Theater Employee: Excuse me sir, the show is over.
Jay Sherman: But I have nowhere to go...
[Satan is disguised as a man during an interview with Gene Siskel]
Satin: Tim Allen gives that same likeable performance we've always loved, once again proving that Disney pictures have the magical touch that may not win awards but keep America smiling. How's that?
Gene Siskel: You're Satan, aren't you?
Satin: [transforms back into himself] You've won another round, Siskel! But we shall meet again!
Jay Sherman: You're watching Fox. Give us ten minutes and we'll give you an ass.
[in Jurassic Park 2]
John Hammond: You may have us, but you'll never get off the island!
Raptor: [with a well spoken English accent] I beg to differ. You see, the other Raptors and I have constructed a crude suspension bridge to Venezuela. Once there, I shall lie low and assume odd jobs under the name "Mr Pilkington." But perhaps I've said too much...
[smokes a pipe]
[in "Speed Reading" movie]
Dennis Hopper: All right, hotshot! You think you're so smart? Let's see you read this book!
Keanu Reeves: Bogus!
Dennis Hopper: If you read under fifty words a minute, this book explodes! Ready? Begin!
[activates bomb]
Keanu Reeves: One... f-f-fish. "Twoah"... oh, no, TWO... f-f-f... oh, FISH! Red... f-f-f...
Dennis Hopper: It's 'fish,' you idiot! FISH!
Keanu Reeves: Dude, now I lost my place!
[book explodes and destroys building]
[inside Duke's dungeon]
Duke Phillips: All right, Sherman you've been down here long enough. I'll give you the dental plan with a $50 deductible.
Jay Sherman: $25 deductible!
Duke Phillips: See you in five years!
[watching "Yesterday Night Live"]
Jay Sherman: They do the same sketches every week! They're nothing but a string of catch-phrases - Yeah, that's the ticket!
Jay Sherman: [singing] To all the girls I've loved on screen, for instance, Stephen King's Christine!
Jean-Paul LePope: In my next film, Joe Piscopo and I play Siamese twins joined at the tongues. It's called
Jean-Paul LePope: "Part 2".
Arnold: I am Frau Doubtfire.
Maria: No, you're not. You're my husband in a dress.
Arnold: I am so a woman. Look at my fake bosoms, they are really grenades
[bosoms explode]
Arnold: They'll be back.
Chauffeur: Hey Mister... Why does your car say King Dork?
Jay Sherman: Uhh, I bought it from King Dorkenheiser of Finland.
Chauffeur: I thought Finland was a constitutional democracy.
Jay Sherman: Just park the car!
Kid: International foodfight!
[All the kids from different countries start throwing food at each other]
French Kid: We surrender!
Jay Sherman: Hah, haaaah, how awkward!
Jay Sherman: You don't think I'm gay, do you?
Doris: No man in his right mind would sleep with you.
Jay Sherman: Thank you!
Eleanor: I've forgotten what a fabulous dancer you are.
Franklin: And I forgot to turn the oven off.
[scene cuts to the Sherman Mansion, now on fire]
Shakleford: Burn, baby, burn!
Jay Sherman: Now, we look at "A Few More Good Men" starring Jack Nicholson, with co-stars Christian Slater and William Devane.
Christian Slater: [Nicholson delivery] I want the truth!
Jack Nicholson/Col. Jessup: You can't *handle* the truth!
Christian Slater: [Nicholson delivery] I *can* handle the truth!
Jack Nicholson/Col. Jessup: The truth is, you *talk* like me, you *act* like me... You haven't got an original bone in your body!
Christian Slater: [Nicholson delivery] That's a *freakin'* lie"!
"A Few Good Men" Judge: Would the court stenographer read that back to us, please?
William Devane: [Nicholson delivery] What am I, a *freakin'* Myna bird?
[on Phillipsvision, a machine that changes sad film endings to happier ones]
Jay Sherman: I don't want Rhett coming back to Scarlett. I don't want the guy from "My Left Foot" to become a punter for the Bears. I want Debra Winger, Ali MacGraw and Bambi's mother to die!
Phil Hartman: So, Pat. Are you a man or a woman?
Jeremy: She's a girl, mate. I saw her changing in the dressing room.
[Jeremy takes of Pat's wig revealing long brown hair]
Pat: WHAAA! You ruined my career!
Jay Sherman: Listen Chaz, if you work hard like me, then maybe someday you won't be coming here early to give people their donuts.
Chaz: Yes, I will. I used to be Vanilla Ice.
[Jay gasps in shock]
[phone rings]
Jay Sherman: Hello?
Doris: Jay, it's Doris. I'm at the morgue. Can you come down and tell them I'm not dead? They don't believe me!
Shakleford: I'm sorry Master Jay, I did so want to scrub your dainties, but they somehow caught fire. Why do they burn so long?
Jay Sherman: I do have a way with women... over sixty.
Duke Phillips: You know why nobody watches your show?
Jay Sherman: Because it's intelligent?
Duke Phillips: Well that's *one* of your problems.
Jay Sherman: This film gets my highest rating - seven out of ten.
Jay Sherman: So run, don't mosey, to "The Tea Cozy," it really hits the spot! Ha-ha-ha!
Jay Sherman: You are an insipid walking commercial, and your cereal turned my urine pink!
Marty Sherman: This is worse than the time you sucker-punched Mr. Rogers!
Jay Sherman: Hey Mom, what do you think about the tux?
Eleanor: Oh, Jay, you look good enough to bury!
[about to enter a limo]
Jay Sherman: I want everyone to know before I get in that I had a big Mexican lunch.
Limo Driver: Hey, don't worry about it! I once drove James Coco home after a Texas chili cook-off.
[watching a montage of clips where he repeats himself]
Jay Sherman: "Rain Man"/"A Few Good Men"/"The Firm" is the latest stinker from Tom Cruise. He doesn't act anymore, he's on 'Cruise control!'
Adolf Hitmaker: If you want the world to love you, you must be big and jolly, like Santa Claus or Rush Limbaugh.
Professor Blowhardt: Learn from this man, class, we should all be such independent thinkers.
Students: [in monotone unison while taking notes] Be an independent thinker...
Jay Sherman: Now to win the Pulitzer Prize. First I need a topic. "Chaplin, Polanski and Woody: Three Men and a Little Lady."
[in "Merchant of Venice"]
Keanu Reeves: Hath not a dude eyes? If you prick us, do we not get bummed? If we eat bad guacamole, do we not blow chunks?
[in "Arthur III: Revenge of the Liver"]
Doctor: Arthur, I'm afraid you have... acute cirrhosis.
Arthur: And you have a cute little butt! Ha-ha-ha!
Doctor: No, you don't understand. Your pancreas is swollen to the size of a basketball.
Arthur: No wonder I dribble so much! Ha-ha-ha!
Doctor: This is very serious, you have less than a year to live!
Arthur: [pointing to tongue depressors] Don't look now, but somebody's eaten all your popsicles! Ha-ha-ha! Why there's a piano!
[begins to sing]
Arthur: I've got a liver the size of coconuts...


text:
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text:
John Waters Talks Carsick, Miami Book Fair
By Ciara LaVelle
Art Basel 2014 Local Gallery Guide
By Jose D. Duran
Best Things About Santa's Enchanted Forest
By Kat Bein
Rocks in My Pockets Director on Capturing Depression
By Juan Barquin
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"Nice to meet you," I said, and we proceeded to sleepwalk through the usual pleasantries. It was nice enough, but I cannot say I was really paying attention until Richard said, "Noel's the MC in my new show."
New show? I had heard of no new show. What kind of new show?
"The Fantasy Party," Richard said. "Boys in their underwear, lots of dancing, some singing, a little raunch the theme is 'the ultimate bachelorette party.' Lots of audience interaction, a blow job contest. You should review it." I said something along the lines of,"I'll take it under advisement." This was a lie.
This was a lie because I knew already I'd have to review The Fantasy Party. Even a conservative definition of "performance art" should leave room for boys in their underwear. Say what you will about your Sondheims and Simons, your Mamets and LaButes: A few seasons' subscriptions to theaters with these men on their minds will explain the meaning of life and illuminate the infinite joys and sorrows of the human condition. But you will find very little nudity at a Neil Simon show. Nobody will tell you to "save a horse, ride a cowboy." It is improbable that anybody will sit on your face. If you think this is a problem, you're right, and that is the reason I reserve my right to seek the meaning of life in the curve of a Speedo's bulge.
My date and I arrive at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino ten minutes before the 9:00 showtime on Saturday night. It iss 9:15 before somebody directs us to Passions, a nightclub in the Seminole Paradise that we'd somehow zipped past no less than four times without even noticing. We fly quickly through the labyrinthine assemblage of velvet ropes that surrounded both sides of the club's entrance. Half of the room's dance floor has been filled with white folding chairs, and off to either side are sleek, modern couches next to sleek, modern coffee tables, all cream-colored or black. In the center of the room is Miss Noel, done up in a glorious outfit that is both stunning and lurid, her dress made of an unknown material that has been dyed a mutant variant of pink that I have never before encountered, and which I still cannot rightly describe.
The audience is made up of women in their midtwenties to early thirties, all of whom appear pretty suburban. These are the Future Soccer Moms of America, and at this moment a drag queen is instructing them to respond to any use of the word "sex" with a rousing chorus of "OH BABY."
"OH BABY!" the women shriek, and my date and I grab a seat on one of the couches in a corner of the room. Then Ms. Noel introduces the boys to the descending piano riff of Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock and Roll." They lip-synch and work their buns and dance the kind of dance you'd see in a Janet Jackson video from the early Nineties. Then the women in the audience are exhorted to dance with the performers. Then there is a fake orgasm contest. Of the three contestants, one woman does a decent fake orgasm, another does an excellent fake Meg Ryan, and the third, I am pretty sure, actually has an orgasm. Then more dancing. The boys appear as firefighters (in their underwear); they appear as cowboys (in their underwear, to the strains of Big & Rich's aforementioned "Save a Horse ... "). All the while Miss Noel keeps a steady patter of high-velocity wit that's extraordinarily funny, but I find I cannot take notes with all of the strobes and clubby lights. It is the wrong environment. I am watching and trying to find a moral.
A moral? This is the wrong environment for that too, but I am curious: While the dancing boys are all genuinely sexy, and while the music is loud and infectious, aren't the ladies going a bit overboard? I have a healthy libido, but I am having no trouble controlling my hands. A woman in front of me, meanwhile, snatches one of the dancers' asses and squeezes. He raises his arms, doing whatever it is that male dancers do in these situations, and this woman pulls his ass in towards her face, parts his butt-cheeks with her hands, and then plows her schnoz right into his Speedoed ass crack. She roots around like a sow snuffling after truffles. He laughs and dances away.
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Articles by Monsignor Francesco Follo
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