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Some Team, Monday, 15th December, 2014
T'wasn't brillig, but Everton ponged this footballing match by a score of three ring-dings to one Zamora pop. While Harry glowered his face and his subs bench made do the same, Everton were flacking less celubub than A night at the museum.
It was all vanderbaubs and frupwinks as usual for Everton, leaving knowing fans knowing that this was going to be another third-world uprising, with Everton, again, tossing the cakey dokes to the snap jaws. Back Everton went. Back, back, back. Oh, so all play and nil aggressive they dimmed.
However, after twelve minutes of booble ball, Everton played a kabob from their half that got misplayed into an attacking move seeing Naismith whooking across to a sliding Lukaku, whose extended toe wilted from the want of ball. Message sent!
As Lili Tomlin used to say: "One ringy dingy..."
Barklay bounced around the clock in minute 33 to fire a pilsner off the knob off one of...OH, WHO THE HELL WERE WE PLAYING? Palace? Hull? Brighton? Mortimer? Finglsy? I just can't remember. All these crumpets pile up in the haskervat until you can't tell 'em apart, but the ball hit some disjointed lad and zagged past his goalkeeper and Everton were all sunny-side up with hashed brown potatoes.
So spilt out and power boned were the boys in blue after this that they backpedalled like Ali, and floated like a bee and stung like a herd of butterflies.
"Two ringy dingy..."
Outside the area Everton grew up from the ground and hailed the free kick. This occurred in minute 42. Baines hooled over the ball, frosted and losted. Gazed as though in yesterdays when Manchester Red came calling and he hid behind a Spaniard. Finally, he whispered to a Belgium, "Oh, I just can't. Maybe a nibble."
The Belgium cursed and with a boot swing jack, winced a ratchet off a Ranger and the ball played saxophone while the goalkeeper wailed. Everton followed up this sakatay by sucking yet even harder off the futility bong and watched with arched brows while the mighty Zamora bucked and banged the gate of the substitute bench, but all the air wilted as the whistle blew.
Second Half:
"Three ringy dingy..."
At about toasters into two-time, McGeedy Jigged, crossed, Naismith! Not exactly Reid's cross Gray! But the old porpoise poked off another Ranger and slap-handed the back of the net while the Queen's Park muffin grumbled.
Commentator: "I have to say QPR are the better side despite being down 3-0." Would have sniggered, twere a lie.
Finally, Harry snidey eyed Zamora:
"Warm up."
"I am warm. Got me parka, woolie hat..."
"Get out there."
"Then I'll be cold."
But out there he got, and from cold went to hot, pied a side of fries past Timothy Howard whilst Howard's defenders whispered tips of hedge funds and hogs. Zamaros jaws snapped and sang, Commentator raged, oh, Everton such lucky days and undeserved! Aye, t'wasn't brillig, but tough tits.
Do I smell goat?
It's Enough to Make Your
Heart Feel
At Spurs. 30 November, 2014
Everton make me sad. They are a
hamburger without salt. (saying without the sizzle would be too
exciting) They are Poon without the tang. A shopping cart without the
insanity of a homeless man attached to it. They are...mid-table and
going nowhere. Before this match against Spurs, the commentator spoke
about Everton's excellent run of form the past five games. Sure, if
you consider 11 of 15 possible points taken off Villa, Burnley,
Swansea, Sunderland, and West Ham excellent. I call it...sad.
I didn't expect much from this match, to be honest. Spurs have been as spotty as us, and were at home. They also had a striker named Soldadao, who hadn't scored since March of 2013.
In the 15th minute Mirralles lolled around with the ball on the outside of the penalty area like a woman trying to decide between salad or brisket. I thought, just take the salad with a lemon wedge, you tart, and we'll go home with a point. However, he well decided brisket, and stuffed some beef into Tottenhams' faces like he was feeding Liz Taylor a freaking goat.
In the time it took me to lift my head out of my hands in order to show some optimism, Tottenham had equalized. To be honest, if I had been at the match with a can of pepper spray, I would have full-on maced the entire Everton team, bench included, right then and there. Toffee lady, too, if we'd been at home.
The match teetered back and forth without any scoring until, you guessed it. Right before halftime, when, you guessed it, again, Soldado scored and then acted like a ninny because he knew it would be another 16 months before his next game against Everton. Sol, by the way, means sun in Spanish, and dado means given. Given of the sun. Cunt, you play in England!
I have a huge, big-screen TV these days. It faces the bathroom. With the bathroom door open, I was able to take a shower while watching the second half ratchet up the fury. I turned the hot water up. Everton turned the screws. My cat pawed at the shower door. Spurs swatted away a sure goal with a hand ball. The referee swatted away the appeal. My cat battered the shower door with his paws. The whistle blew. Good. The hot water was gone. I turned off the shower and I shivered. Lukewarm trails of water dribbled down the the glass. I reached for a towel. I felt sad.
Everton v Lille October 23 2014
I really don't want to waste your time by writing about this match. If you saw it, you have suffered enough. Watching this match, I found myself feeling envious of jurors at an insurance trial. Not insurance fraud. Just insurance. I have no idea what a plain insurance trial would be like, but I bet it would have lots of through balls with nobody but the goalkeeper on the end of them, and plenty of corners to nowhere and free kicks to elsewhere.
The first half was like watching an American collegiate marching band filled with anarchists struggling to spell out the word "Chaos" in the middle of the field. Everton, still feeling the effects of being gassed by French cops the night before, and missing the magic elephant on their shirt, began the evening in a 4-4-fail formation. They played side-to-side football, mixed with a bit of middle-to-back. Lille played well up top and seemed to dominate possession, yet had little clue with what to do with it. Whenever the referee sensed any football was about to be played, he blew his whistle.
Also in the first half, Barklay had some cosmetic surgery performed on his hideous face, and then had it covered with bandages. Well, it was also fun listening the American commentators. Each time they said the name "Balmont," they used a strange and affected, almost comical French accent. "Bhallcrmoant!" I would have to say that them's there your first half highlights.
The only other entertainment this match offered was after halftime, when Barklay came back out without the bandage on his face, which sent the French fans screaming for the exits. I honestly don't want to waste your time by trying to give you match commentary and visuals where none exist. Everton played as though they didn't need to win, and the French played as though they were on the training ground. I wished I was a juror in an insurance trial,
this happened to me pre- manchester united match. i don;i look that chickish, though. can;t type too well. forgive my lapse, the same way you forgave the lapses on sunday. hope to be back in the next week or so. shoulder sas no, but her eyes say yes.
The next gig for that candy bar babe in the adverts at the stadium
Thursday, October 2, 2014
It's a good thing Everton decided to invade Russia in late summer! God knows what would have happened had this match taken place in January. Ask Napoleon. Anyway, Gibson was back for this match, which was great to see. Also playing were the final two players of Everton's Golden Generation, now gone gray, Ossie and Hibbert. It was nice to see that Tony, at age 47, has finally grown the tender beginnings of a beard.
Speaking of tender beginnings, Everton played as though this was a sweet, young adult coming of age story. They retreated often, and their advances were both awkward, and swatted away. The Russian team, which I still cannot pronounce, much less type, began as though they had to score a goal and catch a flight out of Moscow, or whatever cow patty from which they were based. In the first fifteen minutes, they had 147 corners. However, it wasn't until the 16th minute that Howard made his first real save, and it was a gem. Some random shot was fired, maybe another assassination attempt by Putin, and the big Hebrew pinwheeled to slap it away with his palm.
Have you really watched Martinez on the touchline? He always looks like a man who is desperately, yet discreetly, trying to signal the waitress that he wants a huge shot of vodka jarred into his orange juice without his wife noticing. However, he actually was frantically trying to tell his team that they were about to get a beefeater shoved up their arsses—oh, it happened! A defencive cockup, led by derby hero Jagielka, allowed Ari to run onto a bouncing ball with only Howard to stop him. So, goal.
The half ended with Howard running out to claim another threat before the ref, in his snazzy Portugal retro kit, blew for halftime.
When the TV came on for the second half, Howard was making diving save after diving save. Right side, left side. He was peppered from all angles and saved each one! That was the warmup, though. Then, the whistle blew for the kickoff.
Lukaku came on, and the commentator, an American, said that he would "severely help Everton." That was welcome news, because until now, the players on the pitch had severely hurt Everton. This made no difference. Look, have you ever kicked an anthill because you're a sick pud? You stand there, watching the ants. They aren't doing anything other than going back and forth, and in and out. You decide to make something happen by kicking the crap out of their hill. They respond by going back and forth, and in and out. Watching Everton was exactly like that! However, there is always one ant that takes a grain of sand, sets it down just right, and makes the difference. (I once had an ant farm.) Well, in the 83d minute of Everton's useless wandering, dainty Leighton Baines made a lady-like cross that was bounced in by Eto'o. The match resumed to its scattered anthill antics until on the death, Howard saved a wandering ball.
The Derby: September 27th,
September 27 next falls on a saturday in 2019. You know the Anfield derby will be scheduled for that day so that Sky commentators will be able to tell everybody that it's been 20 years to the date when Everton last beat Liverpool at Anfield. But for today, it's only been 15 years of crooked refereeing decisions, bizarre red cards, mystifying penalties, and drunken singing in the putrid kop end. So, who's up for some Derby action? Stephen Pienaar?
"No, gaffer. Still got a touch of the redenightess."
Tony Hibbo was out there, and I would have taken Alan Stubbs on a one-day contract. However, John Stones played in the centre, and was often the conduit that shut off the flow of electricity whenever the reds started getting hot. So, to the match:
The first eight minutes featured more action than Stephen Gerrard's lips used to get in lockup. There was yellow card, Barry; wrongly denied penalty for Everton, and a probable penalty claim for Liverpool denied.
Tim Howard was sporting his big boy pants today, which was fortunate, because Liverpool had 16 first half shots. None of them slapped net, although Howard's palms slapped ball about 5 times. Everton held a good shape and managed to rip into Liverpool's defence a few times until Mirralle's torn hamstring, which occurred while he was spinning Gerrard around like he was a dupe in some shell game. Moment's later, Skirtel went down, but before I could finish praying, the face that launched a thousand nightmares was back on its feet again. Everton weathered the squall, and then paddled about in Liverpool's end for a few minutes before the halftime whistle blew.
The second half was a blur of red. That is, a blur of red players throwing themselves onto the pitch as though this were some kind of spinoff called "Britain's Got Diving Talent." One of the players even threw his hands in the air before falling and yelled, "Don't taze me, bro!" Even more dramatic than the players were the goons on the red's bench, that, after each dive, would jump up like excited jurors in a Stephen Gerrard trial. One was left to ponder how much acting the referee could take before he finally started awarding plaudits and free kicks.
In the 63rd minunte, Ballatelli, back from his stint as a woodcarving on the bow of a viking ship, fell over. The ref, mistakenly figuring that the odds of one of these actually being a foul, gave a free kick. Steve Gerrard, who looks like he should be sitting in the stands with Ian Rush, Kenny Dalglish and the other various Liverpool has-beens, gouls, and fired managers, huffed out a blood/alcohol level that blew the ball past a sober Tim Howard.
Everton almost fired back immediately when Lukaku looked up in front of goal and found what he thought to be a huge dropping from the Liverbird falling onto his head. He ducked away from it, but alas, it was a football begging to be headed past the red's keeper. Liverpool almost punished Everton for that fay display with a rocket fired at Howard, who, dropping, managed to get a fingernail on it causing a harmless careen off the crossbar.
After that, it was just a matter of being entertained by the Kop's vocal chops and song skills. That is, until 30 seconds were left in stoppage time and Jagielka happened upon that blue dildo from Sky Sports, but instead of jamming it in their ears, he slammed it into their mouths from 30 yards out, and bug-eyed, they had to suck it while Evertonians danced and sang. February 17th 2015 falls on a Saturday.
23 Sept 2014 Everton @ Swans. League Cu[
See that picture just above this here writing? Well, it's your match report.
Tim Howard versus Palace
21 Sept, 2014
I just got a new kitten from the Humane Society. Since my dog only cost me 75 bucks...hold on, I have to go slap the kitten down from the blinds he's slaughtering. Anyway, I figured the kitten would cost me about, what, five dollars? Check this out; $120.00, bitch! I made a mewling sound in my throat, but the lady at the counter was kind of hot, so I didn't want to seem indecisive, like a certain goalkeeper, so I shut my mouth and ponied up the money. Now I have a kitten that breaks things for no reason other than he is a kitten. What he doesn't break, he shreds. Don't ask him why. Hell, he doesn't know. He's a friggin' $120.00 kitten. He does whatever the hell he wants to do.
Anyway, so Crystal Palace had a pop round Goodison on their way back down to the Championship. It was nice to see them, but in their light blue shirts and socks it looked as though they were bedecked in 1980s stonewash Levis with holes around the knees.
As the game kicked off the commentators spoke about how Palace have parked the bus, and asked how long will it take Everton to unlock the Rubik's cube of the Eagle's defence. Eight minutes, that's how long. Ossman slipped a glider to Lukaku, who didn't puzzle over what to do with the ball. Without breaking stride he sent the pass into Palace's net. That's number one, you relegation fops.
It is often said that Tim Howard has the reflexes of a cat, and the brain of a kitten. Okay, I added on that last part, but tell me; am I wrong? After 28 minutes of undistinguished play by either side since the goal, Tim Howard certainly distinguished himself. A Palace player, not meaning any harm, lost his bearings, and found himself in the vicinity of the Everton goal with a ball at his feet. Quick as a kitten, Howard was past his defenders, and clattering the poor Palace player over for a penalty. Out of habit, I smacked my own kitty on the nose and scolded him, and out of habit, Howard yelled, "Fuck! Shit! Cunt rabbit bitch fry!" And then the ball was in his net.
What happened next? Well, Howard saw a ball in the air and jumped up to play with it. However, he missed it. A couple Palace players were loitering in the area, not doing much, when they noticed a football rolling freely around an open net. Ooh, how Howard wanted that ball! Laughing, the Palace players rolled it into the net for him to fetch.
What happened next? Well, Ossie was playing some keepie uppy, seeing how long he could keep the ball on the ground at his feet. In his own end. Not long is how long. The fans yelled, "MAN ON!" but Ossie wasn't sure how that related to him. A second later, he looked around, and whaddya know? There was a Palace player behind him taking his ball away. Balasi sent a long slow diagonal ball into the net for the eager Howard to pounce upon once it stopped rolling around at the back.
With the score Everton 1-Relegation Fodder Palace 3, Everton picked it up a notch and jogged around the pitch trying to find the same exits the fans were using. Baines was the last Everton player to find his way out, but he drilled a penalty into Palace's net, in defiance, before skedaddling himself. A couple of the Palace players whistled, and threw sticks at the fleeing boys in blue. A few of them tried to tie tin cans around Timmy, but he was quick as a cat and skidded into the changing room. I downed a beer and shut off the TV. "Tim," I said out loud. "How could you have made such dumb mistakes?" From the kitchen came the sound of shattering glass.
"Gets weirder by the game does this blog. Not sure what to say about it other than it makes me feel uneasy and a bit voyeuristic, like I'm not reading about football but stepping into the mind of a man high on mescaline and televised soccer."
Wolfsburg @ Everton. September, 2014
Germany sure had some great ideas. WWI, WWII, Zeppelin, the Berlin Wall, and the VW Thing are a few that spring to mind. Showing up at Goodison Park tonight was another stroke of genius. Tonight, Wolfsburg FC rolled into town in a hippy-packed sputtering VW bus with a flubbing tire.
Um, is it absolutely necessary for a Wolf's manager to look like Lon Chaney in full moon makeup? I didn't expect him to manage and make substitutions as much as I expected him to run the pitch on all fours licking the grass before escaping into the upper regions of the Gwladys, where he could hide undetected.
Oh, and is Kevin Mirrales wearing a mohawk toupee? Did a stripper slide down his head and leave her beaver behind? Look, the world has gone wild. NFL players are beating their women and children. Terrorists are beheading westerners the way migrants knock oranges off of trees. What the bloody hell is going on in Belgium that makes THAT look okay?
Anyway, the match kicked off and Everton were like the particles settling to the bottom of a shaken snow globe, and Tim Howard was the sea monster at the bottom swatting at the flakes. 12 minutes of this passed by before McCarthy, Baines, and Naismith played some ding-dong-ditch on Wolf's front porch. Naismith placed the bag of dog shit just so, and lit the match. Satan burst out to yell, "You kids get off my porch—!" but then he saw the bag and stomped the burning pile of dung into his own net.
What is funnier than Satan complaining about mean people? Nothing, that's what. However, that's just what happened after the goal, when the Wolf's keeper told the ref that Everton fans were lobbing stuff at him. The ref told him to calm down, because he is Satan, and can make almost anything happen. The goalie seemed happy with this, and suddenly, bombs began raining down on Everton's goal. However, Everton's Anti-Satan, Tim Howard, kicked, caught, and punched all the shrapnel and flaming embers.
Just before halftime, MOM Kevin Mirrales shot a pocket rocket that The Prince of Darkness palmed back down to the earth. However, the flaming mass landed in front of Leighton Baines, who foot-slapped it onto the plate of the diving Coleman, who head smacked it into the open gates of hell.
Right after that, Wolfsburg made a pass in their area that was like a warm summer breeze. McGeady embraced it but was tripped outside the box. The ref awarded the penalty because he likes confrontation, which Wolves did not offer. By the time the commentator finished saying, "Baines has never scored in Europe..." he had.
At this point, Everton began to play poorly just to hear if Tim Howard had come up with any new swear words. Howard, though, was too busy palming away sure goals and near goals to let his F-words fly. He did, however, make a save with his middle finger. It is curious that a team leading three nothing—make that four, Mirralles finished on a through ball, could have a goalie mounting up a save tally almost equalizing Bendtner's IQ total.
Just before the whistle blew for full time, Everton gave the Germans a free kick within range, and told Howard not to move, just to see if they could make it in. They did, and then goose-ran out of Goodison. In his bunker, hitler came back to life and shot himself again.
Goodison Park, 30-08-14
I was about to watch this taped match today, when a chance Internet encounter told me that there are horny singles in my area ready for sex RIGHT NOW! Well, it's married women I crave, so I kept surfing, and then, BAM! Another random Internet encounter hit me right in the face: "Chelsea Beat Everton In Nine Goal Thriller."
Knowing the BBC, I was all, "Great. We lost 9-0." My only option for the rest of the day was to either play with my dog and kitten, or check out hot singles in my area available for sex. Twenty minutes later, with my credit card maxed out, I was still waiting around for the sex. Then I looked at the dog humping a pair of shoes, and the kitten slapping around an invisible angel, and with a sigh, decided to watch a match of which I already knew the outcome.
I flicked on the TV, pressed "Programs Recorded", clicked "Everton-Chelsea", and pressed "Play."
"You have selected Everton-Chelsea for Viewing. Are You Sure?"
click "Yes."
"Really? You Want To Watch That?"
TV was so much easier in the 80s, but I finally coaxed the match from the Teevo (?) and sat down to see how it unfolded. The dog came up to me and lay down. The kitten trotted over with its purr on overdrive. The dog looked up at me: "Can you make him go to the other room?" The commentator said, "Oh, and what a start for Chelsea! Up one-nil at Goodison and we've hardly started!"
The kitten batted the dog's ear. The dog raised an eyebrow at me. "I tried to lock him out, but you were all, 'Ooh, kitty, kitty, kitty? Where are you? Kitty, kitty, kitty?"
On the TV, Tim Howard tried to dive in three directions at once, with neither and the other achieving ball-saving status. The commentator roared, "And now it's two-nil to Chelsea!"
The kitten stood and reached up at the TV screen with the tips of his paws. He tried to swat a couple of players in blue. The dog snorted, turned his head, and spread out on the carpet with a final, subdued, huff. I chucked a shoe at the kitten, who leaped up ten feet, and then scrambled, in the air, into the other room. "Oh, and Everton have answered!" Mirrales ran around, forehead throbbing from the ball smack, but the ball was in the net just the same and halftime spread over my TV screen with alcohol adverts.
Halftime, and KNOW THIS:
Chelsea had about two offside goals allowed, and we had a bunch of onside attacks whistled dead and an onside goal disallowed. This was to even out our one break in 73 years that we received last week on a non-offside call. Did the commentators know it? HOLY BEJEESIS, did they ever! Every bad call against us had them reminding the world, "Well, Everton had that offside goal last week, so things have a way of evening out..."
In our bastard history of cheating refs, coward refs, spiteful refs, and mentally retarded refs stealing games from us, this one freaking call last week evens it all out?
John Terry was ugly in his prime. Now, with age, his face is struggling to stay as handsome as a WWII veteran's scrotum. He made a sagging header to start the second half that drooped into Tim Howard's hands and offered me an excuse to compare his face to a ball sack. Jose Mourino strutted up and down the touchline, pilfered sandwiches in his hobo pockets. Yes, hobo! Look at that son of a bitch! Everton have his team on the ropes, and Mourino's youth is on the railroad tracks. Speaking of cocks, this match was turning into a gory rooster fight with feathers flying, faces jawing, bones snapping, and goals scoring.
Naismith, get in there, goal! Eto'o, goal! And then the fairies with their Putin dust clattered back in a handful of goals that caused my dog to look at the TV screen askance, before flopping back down onto the carpet while making subtle growling sounds. From the bedroom came a loud purring sound, and I found the kitten with a mouse by the monitor. My credit card was in his paw and he was clicking the mouse. And clicking. I hope our defence can soon start clicking.
When your team sucks, the full time whistle is like a relief-giving anti-acid. When your team is great, the full time whistle is a signal to party. When your team is Everton, the full time whistle is like a punch in the throat.
This game started out like a day at the beach for Everton. At the beginning it was all beach balls, sun, and fun, but by the end, it was darkness, whispered what ifs, and quiet sobbing in the night.
Kevin Mirrales and Stephen Naismith were the two diodes that fired all the works today. Pienaar left after 8 minutes with a (choose one)
Sprained Ankle
Broken Back
Displaced Meniscus
Ruptured Disc
Torn Rotary Cuff
Ruptured Achilles
Missing Spine
Ossie came on for him, and the old gray man sent a thrill through the old lady with a deft through pass to Mirrales that came up just short of setting off the fireworks. For the rest of the first half, Everton did as they pleased, and before savvy fans could dread the dreaded goal against the run of play, Gareth Barry, floating alone in outer space, orbited a ball over both Lukaku and Coleman. Coleman, running fast behind Romulou, popped it into the net with his head and the Toffees were up, 1-0.
This really set Arsenal off. In fact, you would have thought they deserted the pitch when Lukaku robbed an Arsenal player of the ball, and wheeled upfield with it. Dribbling like a Disney donkey, he threaded the ball like seamstress onto the just offside boot of Naismith, who fired home for 2-0 and the three points. Well...
In the second half, Arsenal just sent a trojan horse onto the pitch and then their bus left. Everton, overjoyed at this capitulation began working on delightful training ground moves that awed the spectators, and left the commentators nothing more to talk about except what the world would be like if talking giraffes ruled.
Finally, worn out from all their horseplay, Everton packed up and left for holiday. Then, the trap door in the wooden horse opened up. Arsenal, like a thief with bulging eyes looking around to make sure the people really had left their home deserted, took a couple of test runs into the Everton end that went unchallenged. Then they checked the bedrooms...nobody. Then they checked the six-yard box. Nobody. They sent in a test cross to make sure, and Ramsey put it past Howard. "Hey," someone whispered. "The fridge is bloody full!"
By the time the homeowners remembered they'd forgotten to lock the house and rushed back home, it was too late. Their house was full of Arsenal monkeys. They were swinging from chandeliers, wearing Distin's underwear on their head, clawing stuffing from the sofas, and for good measure, at the 90th minute they flung a bit of equalizing dung into Everton's net as Distin and Jagielka stood aside, scratching their heads.
After that, Everton did little more than file an insurance report, speak with the police, and then, when the final whistle blew, Arsenal started shrieking like a bunch of monkeys, and Everton walked around looking like they had just been punched in the throat. There was nothing left to do but get the luggage out of the cars and start searching for the missing four points.
What a day for David Moyes! Before his golden falsetto had stopped singing at the end of the Manchester United-Swansea match, he changed over to watch Everton against Leicester, who are back in the Premiership after finally leaving the one place they truly belong.
Everton strutted into Leicester's stadium with the swagger only Champions of Fifth Place can boast. They scanned the crowd menacingly, and more than a few of the Everton Eleven pawed at the pitch and muttered, "Yeah, that's right, bitches. Fifth place!"
When a circus opens, there is a parade of fire eaters eating fire, sword swallowers swallowing swords, and bearded ladies growing more fur. Today was no different, as the showcase league of the world kicked off. Headers of the ball bounced it around in the air, dribblers dribbled, and substitutes, wearing their vests of shame, sat around not making eye contact with people, except the gaffers, who were busy not making eye contact with the substitutes. However, despite all that action, it was the referees with their deft use of the cans of Silly String that really brought the crowd to life.
With all of this festivity going on, it would be a shame not to have a goal on display, and in the 19th minute, Everton's Aiden McGeady stole the spotlight from the aerosol cans. He took a low, wicked corner that was deflected to Leighten Baines, who was loitering about 15 yards out in front of the box. Baines ran onto the ball and fired a shot that deflected out to Distin just outside the left corner of the goal box.
Distin wound up for a shot, and the goalie crawled out toward him and raised up with his hands in the air, like an old, lost desert prospector begging for water. What he got was a smack in the face from the ball. No water, old timer! The face ricochet came back to McGeady, who measured twice and cut once, the ball hitting underneath the right hand crossbar-goalpost, and rolled dazzlingly around the inside top of the net before succumbing to gravity.
Everton quickly followed up that goal with another, but this one was produced at the other end after a bit of clown-like defending. Leicester had a corner. Everton set up for it in their panic mode, which worked out perfectly when the ball came to Distin in front of the net, and he sent it all the way up the pitch, fifteen yards, and into the body of a spelling nightmare named "Ulloa" but pronounced with J's instead of L's. Tim Howard began swearing, but with good reason, for he was watching the end of his clean sheet whiz past him straight into the net.
Everton would do just enough to regain the lead at halftime. Baines chased a ball down the left hand side to the touchline, and sent a pass out to Lukukau, who slipped and fell as he kicked it. The ball limped over to Naismith at the top of the box, and he was ruthless as he one-timed it underneath the top crossbar. The ball boinged around the inside of the net for half an hour before the goalie could finally get his hands on it and send it back up the field with a dainty kick. Everton had a 2-1 lead and it was halftime.
This must have been the halftime talk from Martinez: "Well lads, 2-1 should be good enough to beat these pricks, eh? Oh, and Barklay looks like he's out for zee next 5 months. Now, spend the next ten minutes with your eyes closed and envision not defending."
Well, Jagielka must have envisioned his arse off, because he played as though he were captaining the England squad, instead of Everton. The rest of the team, for their part, loped around pondering what they would do if Baines tried to make them all listen to the Cranberries again on the bus ride home.
In fact, they played like dogs trying to walk with socks on their paws, as Leicester ate huge, greedy gulps of grass in wide open spaces for the rest of the match, and having ripped open Everton's soft underbelly, could easily have cracked the match wide open if they...well, weren't Leicester, the Champions of Twenty First Place.
If Jagielka looked dazed on the pitch, he certainly became so, after he leaned his head into Sub Chris Wood's boot in an effort to ascertain what would happen if he did so. A harsh boot to the face was the answer, and a well deserved reward for his lackadaisical play. Then, in minute 86, Wood used his boots one more, but this time on the ball, as the unmarked player clenched his jawline and sent a shot straight at and by Tim Howard, who had used up all his saves against Belgium, back in June.
What a day for David Moyes! He karate-kicked his TV off, punched the air, and his golden falsetto sang out again: "Are you watching you fat Scouse bastards...?" He then ran around his living room giving the double Vs to the blank TV screen, before settling down and pulling out his iPhone to watch the blank screen and wait for messages from his agent to light it up. And wait...
I guarantee you'll love this quick little page turner, If mistakes could fly, You'd be a Superhero - Flash Fiction ... If you don't, Amazon will give you your money back. If you do love it, (Leave a review!)
Holy Crap, that came out HUGE! Whatever, I'll see you back in August for our FOURTH year!


text:
RICHMOND, Va. (AP) - Virginia Democrats are reaching for the hottest of hot-button issues nearly eight months before this year's gubernatorial election, slamming Republican Ken Cuccinelli for equating slavery abolition to today's anti-abortion movement. A Democratic Party tracker's video shows Cuccinelli last summer telling a small gathering of religious conservatives that "the truth demonstrates its own rightness" through American history starting with opposition to slavery 150 years ago and continuing to abortion now. Democrats sought to use the video to attack Cuccinelli as being too extreme. Cuccinelli spokeswoman Anna Nix called it Democrat Terry McAuliffe's effort to shift the race away from job creation toward divisive issues. A Virginia grandson of slaves and the nation's first elected black governor, Democrat Doug Wilder, says suggesting moral equivalence between slavery and abortion was outrageous and ignorant.
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An engineer, author, and building contractor, Matthew Stein has built hurricane-resistant, energy-efficient, and environmentally friendly homes and designed consumer water-filtration devices, commercial water-filtration systems, and automated assembly machinery among other things. He currently resides with his wife, Josie, in the High Sierra Mountains near Lake Tahoe, California. His websites are at www.stein-design.com and www.whentechfails.com.
This book is so thorough causing you to think about things you never thought of before! It is the perfect book to prepare you for any disaster - major or minor!Published 2 months ago by Nancee E. Petersen
I never discus politics.....it's a waste of time and they are all crooks.Published 3 months ago by sun ben hott
great product, and very happy with purchase. Item is perfect and as expected. thank youPublished 4 months ago by Amazon Customer
Excellent book. arrived promptly and packaged well. just what it says, a comprehensive guide for emergency planning, lots of great ideas and specific lists of items to have ready... Read morePublished 4 months ago by SC n SC


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Utica Weather
Current Temp 33.0 °F
Unknown Precip
Wind : West at 9.2 MPH (8 KT)
Humidity : 100 %
Pressure : 1012.6 mb
Snow emergencies declared in Utica and some Herkimer County villages
UTICA, N.Y. (WKTV) - Multiple municipalities have declared snow emergencies Friday due to the weather conditions.
The City of Utica requries all parked cars to be off city streets by 10:00 p.m. or officials say they will be towed at the owner's expense.
The Village of Frankfort has aso declared a snow emergency. All cars must be off village roads by noon on Friday.
The Villages of Herkimer and Mohawk require parked cars to be off of village roadways by 10:00 p.m.
Lewis County is under a travel advisory.
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Back to Barware
Classic Beer Mug
- Monogramming Available
- Overview
- A classic, simple design makes this mug a great gift for the beer lover. The glass is carefully molded with a wide rim and slightly flared base for subtle style.
- 5" wide x 3" deep x 5.5" high; 13 fluid-ounce capacity
- Made of machine-molded soda-lime glass.
- Dishwasher-safe
- Monogramming is available at an additional charge.
- Monogram will be centered on the side of the mug.
- Dimensions & Care
- Dishwasher-safe
Mug with Optional Monogram
Monogram this item
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Mug with Optional Personalization
Monogram this item


text: Lovers often split up and then get back together. According to Mashable, however, the tiff between Google and Twitter over Realtime Search is taking on a cold air of finality -- even though it seemed kinda temporary at the time. The Big G just reiterated plans to restore its social networking sea


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July 05, 2012
The Hotel Inspector will air on Thursday nights at 9pm on Channel 5 from the 5th of July.
Alex Polizzi
Alex's Profile
The Hotel Inspector, series 9
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Six Curtis Brown clients for your discovery
Curtis Brown Group Limited. Registered in England and Wales No 00679620. Registered Office 5th Floor, Haymarket House, 28-29 Haymarket, LONDON SW1Y 4SP. Terms & Conditions | Privacy Policy | Disclaimer


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Edward Leida was trained as both an Industrial and Graphic Designer. During the course of his carreer he has done extensive work in the areas of Corporate Identity, Editorial Design, Book Design and Advertising.
He currently serves as the Design Director of W Magazine and during his tenure, Leida redesigned W in 1991 as well as designed and established the formats for Jane Magazine, Details Magazine and Womens Wear Daily.
Edward Leida has also taught and done portfolio reviews for the Society of Publication designers, School of Visual Arts and The Columbia School of Journalism
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Electronic Health Records: Trends, Issues, Regulations & Technologies
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This Management Primer & Update is an up-to-date review and critical reference for health care IT executives and managers, health information managers, physicians, and other professionals... More > involved in electronic health record (EHR) implementations. It covers the new finalized rules for reimbursement of providers that purchase EHR systems under ARRA. It provides detailed information on the regulations and requirements, but also outlines key issues and obstacles to EHR implementation. Researched and compiled by e-records expert Robert Smallwood, this is a current guide critical to health care managers.< Less
Everything You Wanted to Know About TAXONOMIES
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This publication takes a fairly complex subject and lays it out simply, and understandably, in a clear way. The report provides the latest trends and Best Practices for taxonomy development -- but... More > goes further and shows how taxonomies are built on SharePoint 2010 for e-records and document management. For professionals who want current, rich detail on taxonomies, folksonomies, metadata management, social tagging, tagging vs. taxonomies and the latest from thought leaders on implementing corporate taxonomies, this easy-to-read Management Guide, filled with examples, screen shots and breakout boxes of key points, is an essential resource.< Less
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Byon June 16, 2011
That is not a tie that says, "I'm Sorry." It's brash, and wide, and combines too many neutrals, none of which seem to be particularly current or appealing. As in, it's oddly retro. So, if it's something he bought special for this occasion, we'd be surprised. (Then again, we probably wouldn't go shopping either if it turned out that the American people and, say, the President decided we should give up our day job). Still, in resigning, Anthony Weiner expressed regret (see: his somber suit, solidly solid shirt), saying that he couldn't continue serving the people of Queens because, "Unfortunately, the distraction that I have created has made that impossible."
The Style Blog, being disinterested in politics as an entity, wonders what distraction this man is talking about. Is it that which he already apologized for already? Or the whole chest hair (or lack thereof) debacle? Or the fact that choosing a tie like that one that's impossible to ignore when you're resigning just suggests one thing: maybe you actually enjoy all this attention. Which means you really are an asshole, after all.
Follow The Style Blog on RSS, Twitter, and Instagram at @ESQStyle.
What To Read Next


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The Curse of Mats Sundin?
Matt Stephen
March 22 2012 09:15AM
Being a sports fan in Toronto isn't fun, or at least it hasn't been for a long time. The city hasn't seen a major league championship win since the '93 Blue Jays. Twenty years of cold winless winters and summers that are over by spring training is enough to make even the most devout Toronto sports fan a crotchety, cynical, rotted husk of a person.
But how do you explain why the city and particularly the Leafs have been so misfortunate for so long? With the Leafs looking like they're about to take the title of longest playoff drought from the Panthers when Florida presumably makes the playoffs this season, one has to get down into a Tebow and ask why.
Leafs Nation Podcast: Know Your Enemy
Leafs Nation Podcast
March 21 2012 10:03PM
This week, the Leafs Nation podcast features Ellen Etchingham alongside myself (JP Nikota) and Danny Gray. Ellen is a wonderful writer from The Score's Backhand Shelf who, unfortunately, has become a Habs fan.
I'm not entirely sure, but I think that becoming a Habs fan midway through life is rather like a Spiderman backstory gone horribly wrong. A human is bitten by a radioactive spider, and, rather than gain super powers, a certain cerebral atrophy takes hold.
In all seriousness, if you haven't read any of her work on the history of the game, please educate yourself now. She is undoubtedly one of my favourite new hockey bloggers, and a pleasure to have on our show.
Is This A Goal Scoring Competition? Phil Kessel's Defensive Game
A. Bates
March 21 2012 06:24PM
|Not a Selke trophy
A lot has been made of Phil Kessel's defensive game, or lack thereof, this season. Phil has been labeled as being a soft player that plays poor defensive hockey. Generally the opinion on him is that he doesn't back check, floats around in the defensive zone and only focuses on the offensive side of his game.
Usually to win a hockey game one team must out shoot their opponent while limiting their shots against. However, this style of play doesn't work well when your goaltenders are letting 10% of shots into your net. This, unfortunately, is what the Leafs net-minders seem to be doing.
I'm not going to sit here and tell you that Kessel is going to be up for any Selke awards soon but what I am going to tell you is that he is nowhere near as bad defensively as fans think he is, and I have some numbers to prove it.
Follow me over the jump for details.
I don't know what this is
Ryan Fancey
March 20 2012 09:01PM
Coming off a 8-0 loss in Beantown the previous evening, I figured the Leafs would put Tank Nation in serious jeopardy on Tuesday night when the Islanders came to town. Not to worry, it's still full steam ahead on this bullet train to the bottom of the standings.
I'm not sure how much can be taken from this game. The Leafs somehow managed to follow up a 13-shot "performance" in Boston with a 14-shot output on home ice. Absolutely dreadful.
NN Hockey Pool Update: March 20th Edition
Jonathan Willis
March 20 2012 10:04AM
Another week, another leader in the Nation Network Hockey Pool.


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Art forgery is a peculiar crime. Reliant on camouflage and deception, on the rhetoric of the believable lie, it is an act both audacious and self-effacing. For the imitation to succeed in fooling us, it must resemble one or more things that we have been led to believe are undoctored originals. Without something to mimic, the fake could not exist. And the forger of old masters' drawings, like the forger of twenty-dollar bills or U.S. passports, must be skilled enough to fool eyes that by now are practiced at uncovering deceit.
Like spies, forgers often go undetected for years. No one motive directs their actions. Some seek only money, preying on the hapless and uninformed. Others take pride in their skill, targeting museums in the hope of sneaking their manufactures into exhibition catalogues and mingling spurious creations with legitimate masterworks. Revenge against an indifferent or hypocritical art world may be involved. The Hungarian forger Elmyr de Hory confessed to feeling deep satisfaction at watching art dealers who had disdained the works he painted under his own name rush to buy those he painted under a more famous, if false, signature. Forgery can be both a crime against art and a private joke.
To copy a master's work was for centuries basic to a young artist's education. But imitation is not always flattery. Albrecht Dürer, the sixteenth-century German painter and printmaker, sued an Italian artist for copying his prints and signature without permission—the first recorded case of art forgery settled through the courts. Now, when a previously unknown Rembrandt turns up for sale, experts are called to verify the claim. Spectrographic tests can be run on pigment, ground, sizing, and canvas to date materials. The provenance of a work is checked. Anyone with access to a specialist's art library can pull down a volume that shows changes in Rembrandt's autograph over his lifetime. Two and a half centuries of classical-art scholarship have given curators an array of reliable tools with which to assess whether a sculpture is a Greek original, a Roman copy, or a latter-day forgery.
But in the fine-art photography market—smaller than the painting, sculpture, and drawing markets, and only about twenty-five years old—safeguards are fewer. Even though photographs have lately become glamorous and often expensive (a Man Ray sold privately in 1999 for upwards of a million dollars, and images by contemporary artists such as Cindy Sherman and Andreas Gursky have sold for $250,000 to $610,000 at contemporary-art auctions over the past several years), only a few books can be consulted to settle questions about materials and practices. It is still not possible, for example, to date with certainty a Mathew Brady photograph, whereas a drawing attributed to Titian can be subjected to a battery of widely accepted scientific tests.
Moreover, notions of what constitutes value in fine-art photography are notably subjective. When the photography market was born, in New York in the mid-1970s, the concept of "vintage" prints boosted its growth. These were the select few prints—or perhaps the only one—developed by the photographer immediately or soon after he made the negative, and often signed. Although the concept can be seen as little more than a marketing strategy to avert profligate reproduction, most collectors, dealers, curators, and auction houses came to agree that vintage prints should, if all else is equal, be deemed intrinsically more valuable than subsequent prints made from the same negative, whether by the photographer in later life or posthumously.
This hierarchy has a certain logic. Usually, vintage prints are rarer, and rarer is almost always better in the art market. Less logical is the romantic belief that these prints more truly reflect the intentions of a photographer. Even if an artist's darkroom technique or equipment improved in later life, as happened frequently, the first drafts supposedly bring viewers closer to the moment of creation.
This notion, however, raises a host of questions about what kind of creation a photograph really is. What constitutes the "original" in photography? Is it the negative template or the positive print? Does the value of an art photograph derive from the framing of the picture in the viewfinder, or from the magical blending and separation of tones in the darkroom? If someone makes a contemporary print from the original negative and then falsely sells that print as vintage, is this thing a "forgery"? Or should it be called something else—something less damning?
The question of forgery in photography has of late become more than an academic issue. Prices for vintage prints accelerated so wildly in the 1990s that one of these photographs might fetch a hundred times as much as a non-vintage print of the same image. It was perhaps only a matter of time before a canny soul took advantage of the discrepancy—and of the huge gaps in scholarly knowledge—to peddle newly created vintage prints for profit.
In fact, a market manipulation of this sort had already occurred. Appearing like an avatar of Walter Benjamin's "age of mechanical reproduction," a charlatan using the impish pseudonym Benjamin Walter—and operating in Paris, no less—made a killing by selling bogus vintage works by Man Ray to a number of clients. Apparently printed from Man Ray's original negatives, Walter's fakes were so luscious in tone that for years they fooled some of the smartest people in the field. The curator Maria Morris Hambourg, who heads the photographs department at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, was prepared to make them the backbone of a Man Ray retrospective until she noticed an anachronistic stamp on the photographic paper—a clue that they were likely not vintage prints.


text:
PROMOTIONBuy 1 Get 3 Free Bonus ItemsFor a limited time, buy 1 Cellucor CLK, 90 Softgels, Raspberry & get 3 Cellucor CLK, 9 Softgels, Raspberry FREE! Hurry while supplies last!Add all three items to your cart and the discount will automatically be applied.
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1. Whingham LD, Watras CA, Scholler DA (2007). "Efficacy of conjugated linoleic acid for reducing fat mass: a meta-analysis in humans. Am". J Clin Nutr(5): 1203-1200.
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Directions For CLK:
Take 1 serving (3 softgels) daily. For maximum fat loss take 2 servings (6 softgels) daily. For added convenience, you may split the dose between meals and take 1-2 softgels with breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Canada Directions: Adults take 3 softgels twice daily, or as directed by a health care practitioner.
This product is only intended for use by healthy adults, 18 years of age or older. DO NOT USE IF YOU ARE PREGNANT OR NURSING. Do not use this product if you have or suspect you have a serious medical condition. Always consult a physician or licensed health care professional before using this or any dietary supplement product, if you have or suspect you have a medical condition including, but not limited to high or low blood pressure, thyroid disease, diabetes, or if you are taking any prescription or over-the-counter medication. Discontinue use and contact a physician or licensed health care professional immediately if you experience any adverse reaction to taking this product. Follow label instructions and do not exceed recommendations for suggested use. Store in a cool, dry place. KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN.
Canada Warning: If seal around cap is broken or missing, do not use. Consult a health care practitioner for use beyond 6 months. Consult a health care practitioner prior to use if you are obese or have cardiovascular disease (CVD) risk factors (e.g. high blood pressure, high cholesterol and/or triglycerides) or are pregnant or breastfeeding or if your goal is to achieve weight loss. Do not use if you have CVD, diabetes, metabolic syndrome or insulin resistance. Some people may experience gastrointestinal upset.
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text:
We stayed three days in this beautiful B&B, just 10 minutes off the enchanting Vendicari natural reserve. The location is perfect, isolated in the countryside, silent, just as fresh and windy as you can desire in October. The rooms are very clean and comfortable, furnished with very good taste, the service and hospitality truly sicilian: warmness, smiling frankness (don't miss... More
Location: Italy > Sicily > Province of Syracuse > Noto
- Also Known As:
- B&B Zammarra Noto, Sicily


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Schumacher family asks media to leave
08 January 2014 [13:35] -
Michael Schumacher's family has asked for privacy as the Formula One star remains in a critical condition in a French hospital following a skiing accident.
The 45-year-old is stable but remains in a coma at the Grenoble hospital as he fights the effects of a serious head injury.
Schumacher is a formidable figure in F1, winning a record seven world titles, and his plight has attracted global interest and an outpouring of support from the sport's fans.
However his family wants the media to keep their distance.
"Please support us in our common fight with Michael," Corinna Schumacher, wife of the F1 racer, said in a statement.
"It is important to me that you [media] relieve the doctors and the hospital so that they can work in peace.
"I kindly ask you to trust their statements and leave the clinic. Please also let our family in peace."
Schumacher suffered severe head trauma in a skiing accident at the French Alps resort of Meribel on 29 December.
The German hit a rock hidden under deep snow and was catapulted head first onto another rock. He was not moving fast at the time.
He is in a medically induced coma and has undergone two operations.
His condition has attracted intense media scrutiny and last week a journalist disguised as a priest tried to sneak into the French hospital room where the Formula One superstar is being treated.
The doctors at the hospital have also called for the media to provide more respect.
"The privacy of the patient demands that we are not going into details of his treatment, and this is why we do not plan any press conferences, nor give out written press releases, anymore for the time being," they said in a statement on Monday
"We again insistently ask you to respect the medical secrets and to stick to the information given by the medical team in charge of the patient or his management, as this is the only valid information.
"The clinical state of Michael Schumacher is considered as stable and is constantly monitored by the medical treatments that are administered to him.
"However, the medical team responsible underlines that they will not stop to consider Michael's condition as critical."
Schumacher's manager Sabine Kehm added: "I can confirm Michael's condition can be considered as stable, as written in the official statement. I cannot confirm to have stated that his life is out of danger."
French prosecutors will reportedly brief journalists on their investigation into Schumacher's accident on Wednesday in the Alpine town of Albertville.
Schumacher is the most successful driver in Formula One history, driving for the Benetton and Ferrari teams and winning a record seven world titles and 91 grand prix wins.
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Just to get some thoughts. I live in So-Cal, I Currently am riding a gary fisher sugar 2. after riding with some friends with Stumpjumper 120's I find myself with suspension envy. I have the cash and am about to take the plunge. I have been impressed with the specialized. Should I be looking at any other bikes. what are some strengths and weaknesses noted by some of the owners. I've read the articles and am just waiting for an excuse to pull the trigger on this purchase. Thanks
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Published July 7, 2014
Mike Henry has been part of the Spear Group's leadership team since 1999. Read More »
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Due to evolving knowledge about diet and nutrition, the nutrition facts panel required of food and beverage labels will be changing. Michael Taylor, the FDA's deputy commissioner for foods, says 20 years ago "there was a big focus on fat,… Read More »
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Reader interest was piqued by news of mergers and acquisitions. Read More »
Published February 19, 2013
Based in Vienna, Austria, Constantia Flexibles is a leading flexible packaging group supplying customers in the food, pet food, pharmaceutical and beverage industries. Read More »
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One of the lesser revelations at the FINAT Congress in Monaco in June was the difficulty, for the association's secretariat, of translating this year's theme – "the battle for shelf appeal" into French. The nation that h… Read More »
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New to the US market, the Mexican beer brand taps into the Hispanic Millenial's bi-cultural passion. Read More »
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The North American converted flexible packaging market accounts for approaching 30% of global consumption with an annual spend of $20.7 billion in 2013, reveals a new report from PCI Films Consulting. Approaching 90% of sales in the Region are… Read More »
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If the future looks bleak for you, take comfort in the fact that it could be worse. You might for example be the organizer of Ipex, which used to be billed (unofficially) as Britain's answer to Dusseldorf-based Interpack. The German packaging s… Read More »
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(1) Robert Connelly (2) Willem-Jan Kersten (3) Julio Navarrete (4) Carlos Juncos (5) Dagmar Heich (6) Kim Melander (7) Donald Lewis (8) Chad Hedden AIMCAL, Fort Mill, SC, USA – AIMCAL has e… Read More »


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More for parents and families
Visit OC Moms for deals, events, features, contests, and news & information just for you.
Find OC Moms on Facebook and follow us on Twitter @themomblog. You can also sign up for the weekly OC Moms newsletter.
A group of Fullerton students took an adventure Friday.
Thirty-three sixth-, seventh- and eighth-graders from Fullerton School District campuses participated in the "Adventures in Science for Girls" sponsored by the school district, Raytheon, the Beckman Coulter Foundation, the Southern California College of Optometry and the Soroptimist International of Fullerton.
The goal of the event is to encourage the female students to consider careers as engineers and scientists, organizers said.
"It's like a science-based career day," said Becky D'Arrigo, program coordinator with the school district.
To that end, the girls got to meet with professional women and try their hands at science-related activities. They also visited the optometry college and participated in labs. Their parents met them later for a dinner, where the girls received certificates and a "Can-Teen Science Careers Toolkit" as a resource for investigating careers in science, math, engineering and technology.
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Keep it civil and stay on topic. No profanity, vulgarity, racial slurs or personal attacks. People who harass others or joke about tragedies will be blocked. By posting your comment, you agree to allow Orange County Register Communications, Inc. the right to republish your name and comment in additional Register publications without any notification or payment.


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Only 13 RHIOs Meet Meaningful Use Criteria
There are 75 operational RHIOs (regional health information organizations) across the U.S. but only 13 of them meet the most basic criteria for meaningful use of health information technology, according to a 2009 study by a group of Harvard University researchers.
With grant support from the federal government, RHIOs provide hospitals and physicians with a single connection to swap clinical data with other participating providers such as labs and public health departments.
To be considered meaningful, providers must have electronic health records and meet these basic criteria for meaningful use:
- Transmit prescriptions
- Exchange key clinical information among care providers
- Report clinical quality measures
The study shows that despite the promise of more than $30 billion in incentives to stimulate the adoption and meaningful use of electronic health records, the U.S. remains in "an early stage of readiness in terms of the robust exchange of health information," says Julia Adler-Milstein, Ph.D., the lead author for A Survey of Health Information Exchange Organizations in the United States: Implications for Meaningful Use, which was published online Monday in the Annals of Internal Medicine.
Comments are moderated. Please be patient.
A. Jan Berlin M.D. (5/25/2011 at 10:40 AM)
It would be helpful to be able to identify the 13 RHIOs that meet the basic criteria without going the the Annals website where one must be a member to view the article cited.
Doug Dietzman (5/20/2011 at 8:45 PM)
I reject the premise of the article and research that suggests a RHIO must meet the wide ranging MU requirements. A RHIO is not an office EMR or clinical data repository nor does it need to provide either one to be a successful RHIO. RHIOs should not be held responsible for actual clinical redesign and care delivery change any more than the claim clearinghouses on the administrative side should be held accountable for revenue cycle redesign or performance within the companies that use them to transact data. RHIOs are not the sole 100% answer to everything needed for MU even though they play a critical role in supporting some of them. Perhaps that is why so many RHIOs find it difficult to get started and remain sustainable because the expectations are unrealistic as to the overall role they play and they try to be all things to all people. RHIOs can make sure data the right data gets where it needs to be when it needs to be there. What the clinicians and other users do with that data has everything to do with whether the patient care and wellness needles move in a positive direction or not. The clinicians must demonstrate meaningful use of technology, a portion of which is served by successful RHIOs.
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- HL20: Lee Aase—Who's Behind @MayoClinic
- HL20: Anne Wojcicki—Unlocking Consumer Access to Genetics
- Physicians Trained in High-Cost Regions Spend More
- Meaningful Use Payment Adjustments Begin
- Christmas Tree Syndrome Season Underway
- Taming Time and Moving Healthcare Data
- Population Health Starts with Ending Hunger


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UMB Spring 2011 - page 3
Has anyone else applied?...what were your TEASE scores?... Read More
- 0Oct 2, '10 by Grey LadyThe UMB School of Nursing admissions process is a very, very thorough, fair one and, as a result of the processing time and the large number of applicants, the decision-making and the making of offers is quite extended. The goal for all decisions, and that includes the huge numbers of graduate and post graduate applications, is November 16. I am not saying that you will have to wait that long to hear, but it is possible. You might want to do yourself a favor and take a couple of weeks off before you check your application status again. Best of luck to you.
- 0Oct 3, '10 by jrbakernMost of us who applied in the past and used these threads must have checked our status a thousand times. It is nerve wracking and seemingly takes forever, and admittedly, the day I found out I was accepted remains one of the high points of my experierence at UMB. (I am graduating this December.)
Two things. The biggest one is that for ALL the classes you are taking now (prereqs or not) you must get a B or better; it will be one of the conditions of your offer letter. If you end up with a C they will offer your slot to someone else. Second, there will be some people that won't be accepted until literally the last minute because of Cs and late cancellations. It might be a good idea to think about a possible backup plan of action in case UMB doesn't work out. I know in the past some people that ended up not getting into UMB were able to get into Towson or Coppin without having to wait a semester but not sure about how they managed that. And lastly don't wrack your brain comparing GPAs, TEAS scores, etc. The committees seem to look at the whole picture, a high GPA for example doesn't guarantee being admitted. All that is out of your hands now anyway!! Focus on getting As and Bs in your current classes. I saw some of you talk about Chem and that is one class (Stats being the other) where some people start off well and end up with Cs.
If you are done with school or have free time the best thing to do is enjoy it while you have it. Once we are into January 2011, you won't have time for much of anything besides school. Best of luck to you all!
- 0Oct 4, '10 by Grey LadyBest of luck to you....I am sure you should just try to forget about it for the next couple of weeks. I have no idea about AACC but UMB will likely not accept anyone before the first week of November. Be kind to yourself and, if you are finishing your prereqs, concentrate on doing as well as you can in them. You will be so glad you did as you will really need to know that stuff on the very first day of class. And it will also help if you stay in good physical shape. Really.
- 0Oct 6, '10 by jimmyjohn956I applied. Got a 92% on TEAS, but my GPA sucks. It's said committee ready for about a month now. Hopefully we all get in.
- 0Oct 6, '10 by do1984Hey all. I applied for UMDs BSN too Just trying to get some feed back from students that are already in the program. One of my best friends is getting married in Feb. and I'm supposed to be in the wedding. It would seem that I need to take a Friday off from class. How feasible is this in your opinion? It is the only day I foresee myself needing to take off. I understand that after you miss a day you need to work twice as hard to catch up, but my questions is more on the side of do teachers/instructors/the schedule make it possible to even take a day off?
P.S. I know I'm kind of putting the horse before the cart here, but I need tell my friend I can't be in her wedding ASAP before dress fittings in the event that I do (hopefully) get into the program.


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Lindamood Room
Non-Library EventSubmitted by oplin on Wed, 07/18/2012 - 1:12pm
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Kids in the Kitchen--Registration RequiredSubmitted by oplin on Wed, 07/18/2012 - 12:08pm
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UFO's: Area 51 and Roswell-Registration RequiredSubmitted by oplin on Tue, 07/17/2012 - 12:30pm
Think Roswell? Think again! What really crashed and why a government cover-up? Tom Bowman, Lima Area UFO Researchers, will present information on the Roswell Crash on July 8, 1947. Examples of materials found in the crash will be shown. Registration required.
If you are curious about UFOs you will not want to miss this program. Participants will hear shocking information about Roswell. Registration Required.
Wed, 07/25/2012 - 6:00pm - 8:00pm
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5 Myths Used to Justify Death By Drone and America's Assassination Policy
Stay up to date with the latest headlines via email.
America's never-ending war on terrorism is almost always depicted in the mainstream media as a military and intelligence agency fight on a global battlefield. But it is also a propaganda war where the public is fed inaccuracies from Washington, especially when it comes to overseas killings by U.S. military drones.
Here are five myths perpetuated by the military and its weapons makers that seek to make Americans feel good about drones and the White House's policy of targeted assassinations.
Myth #1: They Target High Level Terrorists
Only two percent of drone strikes have killed "high value targets," former counter-terror advisor to David Patreus, David Kilcullen, notoriously remarked in a New York Times column early in the Obama presidency, where he said that 50 civilians were killed for every "high-value target" assassinated. That means that 98 percent of drone-caused deaths have been a mix of low-level militants, civilians, or another dubious Pentagon classification called "unknown militants."
This spring McClatchy and later NBC reported that 25 percent of those killed in drone strikes in Pakistan have been classified as "unknown militants." So by its own admission, the CIA has no idea whom they are killing about a quarter of the time. Keep in mind that if a military-aged male is killed in a strike they are automatically presumed to be militants. The implication being, there is a huge room for error, and many of these "unknown militants" are likely civilians. In one case, the CIA classified 20-22 "unknown militants" killed. This strike actually killed around 40 civilians.
Myth#2: Drones Are Accurate
The Pentagon rhetoric touting "pin point" and "laser" accuracy of drones is baseless. Dr. Larry Lewis, a principal research scientist at the Center for Naval Analyses, a research group with close ties to the US military, studied the record in Afghanistan and found that drone strikes were no more accurate than traditional air power. So, after all this talk about the ability to discern enemies through surveillance, they are no more accurate traditional fly-bys. This rhetoric has allowed us to kill innocent children.
Notably, this study was done in Afghanistan, where there is ample ground and human intelligence for selecting and assessing targets, as well as people who investigate the aftermath of the strikes. But that is not the case in Pakistan and Yemen, which means that the strikes have been more deadly for civilians. The implications from this reality are cynical and cavalier: Either the information on the ground is faulty, or drone operators are okay with certain levels of civilian casualties. Regardless, drones fall far short of the hyped rhetoric coming from the Obama administration.
Myth #3: Drone Targets Imminently Threaten America
The mainstream media have played into the CIA/Administration's selective leaks about drones, especially the concept of a "kill list." This military branding conjures up a process of carefully selected enemies who pose imminent threats to the U.S. However, the reality of "signature strikes" undercuts this P.R. construction.
Never officially acknowledged by the administration, signature strikes target unknown suspected militants who display "pattern of live" behavior associated with Al Qaeda and the Taliban. What the "patterns" consist of is officially a secret. What we do know is that as soon as signature strikes were implemented there was a spike in number of drone strikes and the number people killed in strikes.
Furthermore, reporting has recently revealed that the original authorization for drone strikes in Pakistan came from now deposed President Musharraf. The only way he would approve of the strikes was if the CIA killed his enemies. These "side-payments" became a characteristic of the CIA program. Instead of focusing on enemies of the U.S., the CIA played along with Pakistan's intelligence agency, ISI, and its military to hit targets who posed no threat to the U.S.
Stay up to date with the latest headlines via email


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I'm going on vacation today (as soon as I clear out a few items in my outbox), and will be back on September 15. Hope things get cleared up by then. I'll update my action items with new dates to reflect my availability. Regrets for next week on TAG and HTML WG calls. Larry -- http://larry.masinter.netReceived on Thursday, 3 September 2009 21:45:27 GMT
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.2.0+W3C-0.50 : Wednesday, 7 November 2012 14:18:26 GMT


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Build up your biceps and triceps with these simple arm exercises from the American Council on Exercise. Learn valuable how-to information and get expert fitness advice that will help you strengthen your arm muscle groups including the biceps, triceps and wrists. We have a wide variety of arm strenghtening exercises from the beginner to advanced level including the dumbbell bench press, triceps kick-backs, bicep curls and more. For full workout routines that feature arm exercises, check out our Workouts section.
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"Everything in moderation." It's a common refrain, especially when it comes to diet and nutrition. But does it really work? ACE Certified pro Jonathan Ross argues that this concept is not only outdated, but possibly even hazardous to your health.
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Triple Buffering: Why We Love Itby Derek Wilson on June 26, 2009 12:34 AM EST
- Posted in
- GPUs
We often neglect to get too involved in the discussion of what options people should always enable when they play games. Rather, we tend to focus on what we test with. Honestly, our recommended settings for playing the games we test would be very similar to the settings we use to benchmark with one very important exception: we would enable triple buffering (which implies vsync) whenever possible. While it's not an available option in all games, it really needs to be, and we are here to make the case for why gamers should use triple buffering and why developers need to support it.
Most often gamers, when it comes to anything regarding vsync, swear by forcing vsync off in the driver or disabling it in the game. In fact, this is what we do when benchmarking because it allows us to see more clearly what is going on under the hood. Those who do enable vsync typically do so to avoid the visual "tearing" that can occur in some cases despite the negative side effects.
We would like to try something a little different with this article. We'll include two polls, one here and one at the end of the article. This first poll is designed to report what our readers already do with respect to vsync and double versus triple buffering.
{poll 134:300}
After reading the rest of this article, our readers are invited to answer a related poll which is designed to determine if arming gamers with the information this article provides will have any impact on what settings are used from here on out.
First up will be a conceptual review of what double buffering and vsync are, then we'll talk about what triple buffering brings to the table. For those who really want the nitty gritty (or who need more convincing) we will provide follow that up with a deeper dive into each approach complete with some nifty diagrams.
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overzealot - Wednesday, July 01, 2009 - linkAs the pixels untwist (no power applied, or power applied in reverse) they transition back to blocking light. You could, theoretically, call the process fading, as that's what it would appear to do.
The backlights in most LCD's run off AC, you can't say they're always on. Best you can say is that because the frequency is much higher than 50/60hz you can't see the flickering. It's still there.
There are faster than 60hz panels, it's just that the electronics are more costly - and the majority of people don't care.
I do care, but not enough to pay the extra cost of a 120hz panel.
I'd rather have a larger panel.
DerekWilson - Wednesday, July 01, 2009 - linkit is my understanding that pixel state on an LCD panel is driven by a steady voltage applied across the liquid crystal cell (aside from possible overdrive on the upswing to increase transition time). because they are digital, until the controller changes the state of that pixel, it can remain at a constant percentage of twist because there is a constant voltage applied. no refresh is "required" and the bandwidth issue is what drives "refresh rate" on LCD panels.
many LCDs do use CCFL for backlight which can have a slight flicker for a very very short time period every time current alternates polarity, but it isn't really ever "off" as they are driven both ways (there are no dedicated anodes and cathodes - they switch with current).
But as we move toward LED backlighting (or away from CCFL and toward other technologies which are DC) then we won't have any flicker at all there either. Reply
GourdFreeMan - Monday, August 31, 2009 - linkThis "steady" voltage (only true of active-matrix LCDs) isn't maintained directly by the LCD's power supply. For TFTs there are one or more capacitors gated by a transistor for controlling their voltage per pixel element (R,G,B) that maintains the state. These capacitors slowly discharge and must be refreshed periodically. In this sense all LCDs have a "base refresh rate".
If you do a Google search for LCD controllers integrated into consumer products you will find there is an issue with perceived flickering in brightness as the pixel elements fade if you do not refresh them often enough.
I was asked if it was possible to refresh the screen only when frames are completed, and this was the first issue I discovered when researching the question. Other than increased power usage and added controller complexity I do not know if there would be other issues if you tried to do a second "just in time" refresh and left my reply to the original question at that. Reply
RSmith - Thursday, April 08, 2010 - linkHey GourdFree Man,
I got here thinking exactly the same thing as you: why do we need a fixed refresh rate on LCD's?
Did you get any answers to that?
I hope that future display technologies will allow this to happen, it would certainly be of huge benefit to gaming if frames were drawn as they were rendered. Reply
homerdog - Sunday, June 28, 2009 - linkI can set my LCD to 75Hz, which AFAIK is a lie. Reply


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Gina Prince-Bythewood on Representation in Film
By Juan Barquin
Mockingjay Is Sharp on Propaganda, Soft on Celebrity
By Amy Nicholson
Citizenfour Captures History in Progress
By Alan Scherstuhl
O Cinema Opens Sold-Out Show, Soft-Spoken Sound
By Travis Cohen
Rocks in My Pockets Director on Capturing Depression
By Juan Barquin
By Stephanie Zacharek
Sin City Falls Short While Excoriating Women
By Amy Nicholson
Chloe Grace Moretz Confronts Her Own Mortality
By Juan Barquin
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Region: South Beach
Startlingly intimate and direct, this first-person doc by Emad Burnat and Guy Davidi requires multiple viewings for anyone eager to work out how it could have been shot with such precision and visual ingenuity under such plainly chaotic conditions. The film is an account of five years in the life of Burnat, a Palestinian farmer whose hometown of Bil'in is overtaken by Israeli settlements (a euphemism for high-rise sprawl) just as his youngest son, Gibreel, is born and his desire to make meaningful cinematic documents takes root. A series of inexpensive cameras gets sacrificed as he and Davidi, an Israeli, brave increasing violence and official indifference to capture the widespread involvement of Burnat's friends and neighbors in the village's resistance movement. It's impossible not to care about these people, which triggers alarms over how thoroughly 5 Broken Cameras elicits sympathy for Palestinians at the expense of an Israeli perspective. (The settlers come off as cartoonishly thuggish, with their itchy fists and default cries of "I'll sue you!") But Burnat and Davidi aim less for journalistic balance than a deeply personal explication of resistance — mortifying, invigorating, possibly futile, and probably the only dignified response under the circumstances. "It takes strength to turn something negative into something possible," Burnat says of Bil'in's struggle, and he could just as easily be talking about his and Davidi's film.
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