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What the future holds for smartphone cameras
- 1 What the future holds for smartphone cameras
- 2 Faster focusing with MEMS
- 3 Lytro-like after-fact focus tech is coming
- 4 Live HDR, object tracking and more processing with Nvidia Chimera
- 5 Double the low light performance
- 6 DSLR-like dynamic range with a new 'Binary Pixel' sensor
- 7 Using the device's weather awareness for better auto-mode shots
- 8 Conclusion: Combine it all together for the ultimate cameraphone
- Comments
Chimera is a full-on computational photography engine and it's most obvious benefit will be always-on live HDR. That will translate into a drastic leap towards better dynamic range in smartphone camera images, but it will also get us rid of glare often seen in bright shots on smartphones. Since all processing happens in the platform, the HDR capture is no longer too slow for moving objects, and the ghosting effect is significantly reduced.
What's more, leveraging the whole computational power available, smartphone cameras will get features like real-time object tracking with "tap to track", something previously reserved for only top of the line dedicated cameras.
"In another industry first, the Chimera architecture includes persistent tap-to-track technology, which allows users to touch the image of a person or object to focus on within a scene. The camera then locks in on that subject whether it moves or the camera is repositioned to a better angle, while maintaining proper focus. Persistent tap-to-track also adjusts the camera exposure depending on any movement, helping avoid under- or over-exposure of the image's subject or background."
Tracking that kiddo in front of the camera would get much easier. Real-time object tracking would be also useful to sports and wild life photographers, of course.
Panoramas will happen much quicker with a simple swipe of the device in one direction, no need to move slowly the phone waiting for the processing to happen. HDR panoramas will also be possible.
The Chimera platform will work with Sony's popular 13-megapixel Exmor RS sensor and Aptina's 1/3" 8-megapixel sensor.
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32 Comments
1. lyndon420 (Posts: 1793; Member since: 11 Jul 2012)
I'll take a Lytro. That's cool tech.
4. the_s2 (Posts: 211; Member since: 22 Nov 2011)
As for now, lytro resolution is something to worry about.
12. TheMan (Posts: 425; Member since: 21 Sep 2012)
Lytro would be nice. I wonder if that would help much of the low light shortcoming many have.
2. reuben (Posts: 6; Member since: 29 Mar 2013)
all smartphone cameras have improved except the sony phones
3. Dimitru (Posts: 40; Member since: 10 Feb 2012)
duh.. sony is the first one with 13 mp camera
9. Nathan_ingx (Posts: 3024; Member since: 07 Mar 2012)
So what? The image quality isn't as superb as it sounds!
And what if Sony came up with 13 megapixel? Nokia came up with 41 megapixel sensor...try comparing it the the big dogs if you must.
24. Dimitru (Posts: 40; Member since: 10 Feb 2012)
up to you...i just disagree with reuben... 13 mp camera is a fact for him
10. adjou (Posts: 102; Member since: 06 Jul 2010)
Sony really need to focus on the software side of things. They have the sensors to take great pictures but software gets worst and worst ever year... :S
Really dont get how Sony is still behind other competitors when most of them uses Sony sensors
14. Droid_X_Doug (Posts: 5958; Member since: 22 Dec 2010)
Sony's sensors are used in most of the flagship smartphones. Sony also supplies many of the high-end DLSR manufacturers with imaging sensors. As you posted, Sony falls down in the software area. It is a shame, because Sony really has top notch imaging hardware.
11. aokde (Posts: 186; Member since: 09 Jul 2012)
first HDR video is sony. that's not improvement?
13. Droid_X_Doug (Posts: 5958; Member since: 22 Dec 2010)
Others are providing HDR video as well. The difference is in the quality of the video. Sad to say, but Sony's video quality doesn't lead the pack.
15. aokde (Posts: 186; Member since: 09 Jul 2012)
others provide software HDR, sony provides hardware HDR (as in hardwired)
and sony's video quality is not bad actually (not considering nokias stabilization ofcourse..)
5. alfalf (Posts: 6; Member since: 11 Dec 2012)
nice article. i realty don't know
6. reuben (Posts: 6; Member since: 29 Mar 2013)
dimitru which camera is better overall the one in xperia z or galaxy s3 not the s4 the s3 ok. can u tell me
7. shreyas.s666 (Posts: 80; Member since: 24 Aug 2012)
"In 2011, the iPhone grew to become the most popular camera on Flickr" really?
8. DontHateOnS60 (Posts: 863; Member since: 20 Apr 2009)
Lytro is cool, but it would be nice to be able to disable autofocus on every phone BEFORE you take the photo. Sometimes the situation calls for that, and you wish you had an EDoF lense. I know some apps will let you do this, but it'd be nice if all phones had this straight from the factory.
16. TheBitterTruth (unregistered)
You forgot the champ "Pureview"
19. sbw44 (Posts: 412; Member since: 04 Dec 2012)
Its Victor H dude! As soon as I saw his name I knew Nokia won't even be mentioned!
27. TheBitterTruth (unregistered)
Its been 2 years now and there is no phone to challenge 808 pureview -_-
Come on Phonearena atleast accept the fact!
17. pureviewuser (Posts: 218; Member since: 11 Nov 2012)
Lets see what nokia is bringing
28. TheBitterTruth (unregistered)
Another unbeatable Pureview phone to crash the plastics phones :)
Dislikes coming!
BSI sensor + OIS + Floating Lens + Some software customization = MONSTER!
32. TheBitterTruth (unregistered)
I told you Sammy fanobys will dislike my comments! :)
even the 8mp iPhone crashed the Galaxy S4's 13mp in blind camera test. How about the 13mp iPhone or the 13mp pureview?
18. shikroi (Posts: 187; Member since: 24 Sep 2012)
How did you write an an article about recent camera innovations in the phone industry and the possible future without mentioning the 808?
20. sbw44 (Posts: 412; Member since: 04 Dec 2012)
Typical Nokia Hater! nowhere its mentioned about Pureview Stage 1 (Oversampling) or Stage 2 ( Floating Lens and OIS) and the fact that Nokia is working on Pureview Stage 3!
22. shikroi (Posts: 187; Member since: 24 Sep 2012)
He mentioned OIS, he just didn't associate it with nokia.
21. pyradark (Posts: 784; Member since: 10 Jun 2012)
Thats ok!! We all heard the new cybershot phone is in works for Q3. So this is it for sony
23. Edmund (Posts: 656; Member since: 13 Jul 2012)
I highly doubt that NIKON would damage their brand by associating it with android/google/nexus
25. techloverNYC (Posts: 425; Member since: 20 Nov 2012)
smart phones are starting to replace alot of old techs.
A smartphone can do: flashlight, heart monitor, tv, credit card,map, music player, work out monitor,and even more
That used to require expensive individual devices.
26. Trex95 (Posts: 571; Member since: 03 Mar 2013)
There's a rumor around that Apple and Google going to buy Kodak?
29. TheBitterTruth (unregistered)
Apple and google?
How on earth both of them (rivals) can buy a single company named 'KODAK'?
31. Trex95 (Posts: 571; Member since: 03 Mar 2013)
That's what i came to know!
30. pureviewuser (Posts: 218; Member since: 11 Nov 2012)
Any competition between all manufacturers is good as we will all benefit in the end


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cii CF1 exam on UK Financial Services, regulations and ethics - assessment package
Package contents
This helps you revise and also practice with exam style questions. Study notes can be purchased in addition by selecting the CF1 online course.
Access is provided for 6 months and includes syllabus updates. If you purchase multiple training modules a discount is available along with longer access periods.
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This is an ideal way to prepare and maximise your chances of passing. You can also be confident that the questions are current as our subject knowledge experts regularly review them.
CF1 Exam details
Many financial advisers that purchase this training module also subscribe to our CPD system.
Which CPD camp are you in? (audiovisual presentation)

subset: commoncrawl


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Marriott Oaks Bourbon Brunch
The annual Marriott Oaks Bourbon Brunch was held on May 6 at the Louisville Marriott Downtown.
NBC "Minute to Win It" host and celebrity chef Guy Fieri entertained guests as he prepared a three-course meal featuring bourbon-infused cuisine and traditional Kentucky dishes.
Proceeds benefited the Kosair Children's Hospital through the Children's Hospital Foundation.
photos by JOSH MERIDETH | contributing photographer
Click here to purchase photos.


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Keep on Truckin'. It's Either Uphill or Downhill from Here.
Jan Chait
October 27, 2009
Shhhh! Can you hear the sound of hammers? Can you smell the freshly cut wood? C'mon people! This is important! Close your eyes and concentrate.
Ah, don't worry: I can't, either. So far, it's only a phantom deck going up in the back of my house, but it will be real one of these days. Soon, I hope. I can't take going up and down the steps to my house much longer, and long for a ramp leading from a deck to ground level.
But there are things that need to be taken care of first. For one, the back porch needs to be cleared off so the nice deck-builders can put a door in that will give me house-level access to the deck. Right now, half of my kitchen is out there cluttering things up.
My kitchen stuff is cluttering things up because I finally (after nearly 20 years of living here) decided on a color to paint the room. Actually, my husband decided for me that it will be yellow. But it won't be the "Hey look at me I'm yellow! Really, really…bright…yellow!" he wanted. Sorry, but I just don't want to wake up that fast in the morning. A mellower hue was called for.
The painter is coming later today to get started, so we're getting there.
Speaking of paint, I've been having a lot of trouble breathing. I've been putting it down to the effort it takes for me to hobble from one place to another, to climb steps, and stuff like that.
Then, yesterday, I said, "Wait a minute!" to myself. "Don't you have asthma?"
"Why, yes," Myself answered. "Yes, I do."
And, yes, I do take an asthma medicine which, most of the time, is enough. I said "most of the time," not "always." Autumn seems to be one of those times when it's not enough. I don't know why. Mold from the falling leaves? Air litter from the corn and soybeans harvest? And, while leaf-burning is banned inside city limits, county residents have no such restrictions. I wonder how far that smoke travels…
I also wonder what, if anything, paint is going to do to me. We'll find out. In the meantime, I got a rescue inhaler to get me through the autumn asthma season. So far, so good.
In the meantime, my foot is…throbbing. And I got a plausible explanation of why my heel hurts so much (to make things even more "interesting," it's a part of my heel that wasn't touched).
First, for the throbbing: The doc had me stop taking antibiotics for a couple of days before having some tests run for infection and inflammation. With the lack of antibiotics, my foot swelled up. Swelling = throbbing. I went back on the antibiotics last night, so the swelling is going down, but I'm spending half my life in the bathroom getting rid of the excess fluid.
As for the pain, the doc opined that I've been lounging on my back a lot, which causes my feet to splay out, and creates pressure on the area that is very tender. He suggested I put a pillow under my calves instead of under my feet, so they won't be resting on anything. That I did last night and continue to do so when I crawl into the recliner — which I'm about to do any minute now!
I have come far enough that I've gotten the go-ahead to walk without my air cast on. If only I could! The cast does alleviate some of the pain in my heel.
Sorry for the rather disjointed blog post but, as you can see, things are looking up. And it kind of taught me (and, hopefully, you) that we can't just pay attention to one thing. We have multiple factors that are interwoven and many of them tend to affect other areas. To keep this on topic, pain and infection can affect your blood glucose levels. So can attitude. I try to at least keep a good attitude (although it's sometimes difficult or even impossible to do, if only for a short time) and to keep a good eye on my blood glucose levels when things like surgeries and asthma attacks creep into my life.
I was wishing for a ramp too in my house that had 6 steps. We could not do it because the steps were inside going up and so we decided to buy a one level rancher and found a nice one with a ramp. We stayed in it for a year and then decided it was too small so we went into a bigger one level with a ramp wich was a care facility. This gave hubby an idea and he decided he was going to go into home care giving. I got fired from my job because of my medical condition and he quit work and now we have two people living with us who need care and what a great change for both of us. We now dont have to work for someone for eight hours a day and we have two great young people living with us and we have our own scheduals which leaves us both able to do things as we like for the most part and the best thing is if my health gets worse,,, all of the equipment is here and we are both home to work with it. Moving is not always the answer but it did us both a lot of good. We will be here forever I hope.
Posted by: Sally Smart | Oct 28, 2009 02:43 AM
I think I read in your blog what a barometer blood sugar can be letting us know when something is wrong. Well, post hospitalization after the whooper low blood sugar my arm is really sore from the IV. The blood sugars are high for no reason. I don't listen. The veins are hard and rolling. I probably have some inflammation. But I didn't listen or respond to my high blood glucose. Lesson learned. Our bodies are great machines! Off to my primary doctor tomorrow for antibiotics.
Posted by: Vicki | Oct 29, 2009 08:25 PM
Disclaimer of Medical Advice:You understand that the blogs posts and comments to such blog posts (whether posted by us, our agents, bloggers, or by users) do not constitute medical advice or recommendation of any kind and you should not rely on any information contained on such posts or comments to replace consultations with your qualified health care professionals to meet your individual needs. The opinions and other information contained in the blog posts and comments do not reflect the opinions or positions of the Site Proprietor.


text: Physician Ownership Information BayCare Health System Site Map HIPAA Disclaimer Social Media Find a Doctor Careers Classes & Events Driving Directions Foundation Pay My Bill Get E-Newsletter Services About Us Patient/Visitor Info Triathlon Financial Assistance Policy Contact Us News Home | Preparing for Your Procedure | Physician Ownership Information Back Physician Ownership Information Your physician may have a financial ownership in one or both of St. Anthony's Outpatient Surgery Centers This investment gives your physician a voice in the clinical management of the center. Please ask your physician or you may call your chosen outpatient surgery location for a full list. Please note that your physician provides care at various sites and you have the right to choose a different location for your procedure St. Anthony's Outpatient Surgery Centers: St. Anthony's Physician's Surgery Center705 16th St. N.St. Petersburg, FL 33705(727) 550-4500 Carillon Surgery Center900 Carillon Parkway, Suite 205St. Petersburg, FL 33716(727) 561-2710 Serving The Tampa Bay Area © Copyright 2014 BayCare Health System | St. Anthony's Hospital


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What does CBAPB stand for?
What does CBAPB mean? This page is about the various possible meanings of the acronym, abbreviation, shorthand or slang term: CBAPB.
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"CBAPB." Abbreviations.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2014. Web. 22 Dec. 2014. <http://www.abbreviations.com/CBAPB>.


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Holy Smoke turns your cremated remains into live ammunition
This is a story that would have made Charlton Heston proud. You wouldn't need to pry the gun from his cold dead hand had he known that one day upon his death his ashes could be turned into ammunition. That's right, for $850 (plus shipping), Alabama's Holy Smoke will turn put your loved one's ashes into shotgun shells or pistol or rifle cartridges.
Founders Clem Parnell and Thad Holmes, a state conservation officer, dreamt up the idea one night while on a stakeout to catch illegal hunters. Conversation shifted from the mundane to the existential, as it is bound to do on a late night stakeout. Parnell, had recently lost a family member and when discussing their feelings they found a mutual concern regarding traditional methods of disposing of loved ones' remains.
One can scatter ashes at sea, in pastures or from a mountain at dawn as a way of celebrating a family member's life. A select few have even elected to be shot into space after passing. Why then, theorized Parnell and Holmes, couldn't someone with a passion for guns or hunting not be celebrated in a way that would be meaningful to them? With one pound of ashes filling as many as 250 shotgun shells, and the average body producing four to six pounds of ash after cremation, that is a lot of firepower to be remembered with.
Recently established after four years of planning, there have been only two clients of this unique service. But, now that the word is out Holy Smoke is now making pre-arrangements with interest from everyone from police officers, soldiers, hunters and even for beloved hunting dogs.
No guidelines have been provided on exactly how to use the ammunition once shipped, but surely respect for the dead is understood in this unique arrangement.
Via Reuters
Photo: Samotrebizan/Shutterstock


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Man accused of biting mom's hand held in prisonStaff report | November 14,2013SANDGATE A local man was jailed without bail after police said he assaulted a female friend and bit his 70-year-old mother.
Edward Weiss, 44, of Sandgate pleaded innocent Tuesday to a felony count of first-degree aggravated domestic assault, two misdemeanor counts of domestic assault and a misdemeanor count of simple assault.
Trooper Thomas Stange said Vermont State Police were sent to a home on Sandgate Road in Sandgate at 10:05 p.m. Monday. Stange said Weiss threatened troopers, who had to use handcuffs, leg irons and a spit hood to take him to the police barracks in Shaftsbury.
Police said Weiss was highly intoxicated but he refused to provide a breath sample.
Nicole Novotny, 29, told police Weiss had come to her home intoxicated and continued to drink alcohol. She said he became more violent and threatened to kill her.
She also said he punched her and knocked her to the ground, Stange said.
Novotny told police she called Weiss parents, Robert Weiss, 72, and Judith Weiss, 70, and said Weiss attacked them, too.
Robert Weiss said his son shoved him and, after he fell to the ground, punched him in the head. When his wife tried to get Edward Weiss to stop, police said, he bit her hand.
Judith Weiss told police a doctor said a bone might be broken in the hand bit by her son.
During Edward Weiss arraignment, Deputy States Attorney Jennifer Barrett said Weiss parents were terrified of him and didnt want contact with him because of past issues with drugs, alcohol and violence.
Weiss will return to court Nov. 20 to determine if he can be released on bail.MORE IN This Just InBURLINGTON - The Auxiliary Bishop of Indianapolis has been appointed the 10th Bishop of... Full StoryCandlelight vigils held to raise awareness for the homeless take place all over the country each... Full StoryAfter years of steadfast promises, Gov. Full Story
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- RICHARD'S POOR ALMANACK: In 1972, Christmas bombing of North Vietnam ordered by President Richard Nixon, most lethal strikes of the war; in 1989, U.S. invades Panama to depose, arrest and charge Gen. Manuel Noriega with drug trafficking, racketeering.
- TOMORROW'S HEADLINES TODAY: Gov. Peter Shumlin announces demise of his single-payer health insurance initiative; convicted first-degree murderer Alan Prue sentenced to 50 years for killing teacher Melissa Jenkins; veterans chafed about park naming snub.
- RICHARD'S POOR ALMANACK: In 497 BC, first Saturnalia festival celebrated in Rome, Scandinavians retain 'Yule Goat' as symbol of season, Krampus, evil side of holiday cheer, terrorizes children into better behavior, more advice from Christopher Hitchens.
- RICHARD'S POOR ALMANACK: In 533 AD, Byzantine Emperor Justinian I gets the old empire back together again routing the Vandals from Carthage; in 1890, Lakota Chief Sitting Bull is killed at his home in South Dakota; in 1970, Soviets land probe on Venus.
- DUANE CARLETON: Rutland Herald Events Editor George Nostrand interviews musician Duane Carleton, whose new CD 'A GIRL LIKE THAT' drops Thursday, Dec. 18, 2014, and will be celebrated that evening with a show at 9:30 p.m. at Killington's Pickle Barrel.


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High Point Police served warrants on a Lexington man in relation to an April 27, 2009, sexual assault in southeast High Point.
Bobby Lee Gordon Jr., 38, of Lexington is charged with attempted murder, first degree sex offense, first degree kidnapping, attempted first degree rape and assault by strangulation.
The case from 2009 was connected to Gordon based on suspect descriptions provided in three recent investigations into indecent exposure. The case was re-opened based on that connection, and probable cause was developed to charge Gordon as the offender. Additionally, Gordon was charged in the following cases:
• Misdemeanor indecent exposure that occurred Oct. 11. 2012;
• One count of felony indecent exposure and one count of indecent liberties with a child on Nov. 23, 2012;
• One count of felony indecent exposure and one count of indecent liberties with a child on Nov. 30, 2012.
Anyone with additional information is asked to call High Point Police at 883-3224 or Crimestoppers at 889-4000.


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Flip Saunders asks for silence against Celtics
Andray Blatche has taken a vow of silence for tonight. It's what his coach, Flip Saunders, wants. "Me and Coach had a talk, so I'm going to do exactly what my coach asks of me," Blatche explained. "If he wants me to say nothing, I'm going to say nothing. I'm just going to go out and play my game and try to get us a win."
"I'm going to do exactly what my coach asks of me." Ironic, coming from the player who — depending on who you trust — either refused to reenter a game a month or so ago or merely blew off his entire coaching staff, then publicly called Saunders a liar following Saunders's reaction to his insubordination. But Blatche and Saunders have apparently patched things up (it didn't take long — a game after Blatche called Saunders a liar, he inexplicably started), and now Blatche claims to be taking his coach's advice seriously. Tonight, following that advice means staying away from confrontations with Kevin Garnett, who got into a "woofing" match with Blatche the last time the two teams played.
That night, the Wizards forked over a 13-point, fourth-quarter lead by — in Saunders' words — pissing down their legs during the final six minutes. Blatche, who had played phenomenally for most of the game, was rattled by Garnett's taunting techniques, losing his poise as Garnett barked and hollered at him. At one point, said Blatche, Garnett was so close to Blatche's face that his lips made contact with Blatche's cheek. It was a nice, loving smooch, I'm sure, but Blatche didn't respond well. Like the rest of his teammates, he collapsed down the stretch as the C's seized control.
After the game, Saunders blamed his team's youth and inexperience for the late-game meltdown. "We choked … We got young guys, they don't know what it's like to be in a situation. We start talking to Garnett, start talking trash and everything else. Got Garnett and those guys juiced up and we just pissed down our leg the last six minutes.
"You have a veteran team that knows how to close out games, against a young team that hasn't been there and instead of just letting a sleeping dog lie we juiced up their energies. We had plays coming off timeouts and we had guys going to the wrong side of the floor, we were so discombobulated."
Specifically, Saunders assigned blame to Blatche, the 6'11″ power forward who has raised his level of play drastically since Washington's former go-to-guys Caron Butler and Antawn Jamison were traded away. "Dray had terrible decisions," Saunders said. "Dray is woofing the whole time to Kevin Garnett. You can't do those things. It's a learning process. You don't take a guy who's been defensive player of the year three times, probably the best power forward, and all of a sudden get that guy juiced up to play against you. You got no chance."
So tonight, Blatche has been given the muzzle. Don't wake a sleeping giant, seems to be Saunders' message. If the Celtics are going to snooze through another game, he seems to be saying, let them. Don't get their juices flowing with a string of trash talk, if they insist on acting the part of zombies. Don't make the same mistake we made last time.
"What happened last time, happened last time," Blatche said. Yup, it did. the Celtics tried to give Washington a free "W," but Blatche and co. finished the game with too much talking and not enough playing. The Celtics swept in and stole a game the Wizards had otherwise controlled.
Tonight, the Celtics can only hope for a more complete game than last time the Wiz came to town. They emerged with a win, but the dramatic comeback should have been unnecessary. The C's should beat the Wizards handily, regardless of Flip Saunders' reign of silence, and it would be nice if they'd play a little defense while doing it.
They just won't be able to rely on Andray Blatche and his talkative teammates for a kick in the ass. "[The trash talk is] old. That's in the past," Blatche said. "I'm going to do my job with a smile on my face."
Well, that is, unless the Celtics' play wipes that smile right off.


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August 13 - First day of the fall semester


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Camp for Beginners
By Mark Simpson
Illustration by J. David McKenney
I've always been a big fan of Judy Garland, Joan Crawford, and Doris Day. But it was a secret, shameful love -- until, that is, David Halperin's new book, How to Be Gay (Harvard University Press), finally gave me the strength to come out about it. Talking about gay culture can make people of all persuasions very angry indeed. When Halperin began teaching a course on it at the University of Michigan called "How to Be Gay: Male Homosexuality and Initiation" back in 2000, it caused a national scandal: He was inundated with outraged, abusive emails, politicians tried to axe funding for his university, and his course was denounced on Fox News, as well as in some corners of the gay press. I caught up with him to assess the fallout since then.
SIMPSON: How on earth did your charming—entirely chaste—course on gay initiation manage to upset so many people, straight and gay?
HALPERIN: It was the title. Conservatives in the United States had long suspected that college professors aim to convert straight teenagers to homosexuality; now they had the proof. And gay people in the United States get very upset at the slightest implication that any aspect of homosexuality might not be inborn. Of course, I was neither trying to convert straight students nor suggest that people become gay because they are recruited into the homosexual lifestyle. But in order to understand that, you would have had to read the entire course description, not just the title. It's interesting, though, that gay culture should be more scandalous nowadays than gay sex.
If you're doing it right... Do you expect your book to cause a similar outcry? Do you want it to?
I never like to upset people, and I don't aspire to be polemical, but I have a point of view to defend and I think the book is going to be controversial because it celebrates the fact that gay men are not exactly like everybody else. In an era of gay assimilation, the notion of gay difference arouses a lot of doubt and suspicion.
Is it true to say that the gay culture you are writing about is mostly the "gay sensibility" -- the subcultural appropriation and subversion of mainstream straight culture that characterized pre-Stonewall gay life? Judy! Joan! Oklahoma!
Yes, I'm interested in the persistence of that subcultural appropriation at a time when gay people have now created their own culture. I love that new, post-Stonewall gay culture, but it has trouble competing with the appeal of those traditional icons or their contemporary descendants, like Lady Gaga, and I wanted to find out why. I wanted to know why gay men in particular still thrill to divas and train wrecks when they have original works of gay fiction, movies, and pop culture that feature gay men instead.
Why has the out-and-proud gay identity failed to kill off the self-loathing, closeted gay sensibility?
Because gay identity can't contain the full play of gay desire. I discovered this when I taught a class on contemporary gay male literature a dozen years ago -- I expected gay male students to like such a class. But they got bored with the reading and amused themselves instead by drawing cartoons on the attendance sheet, portraying the members of the class -- including me -- as characters from The Golden Girls or Steel Magnolias. That's when I realized I was doing something wrong and decided to teach "How to Be Gay."
Does the fact that you're in many ways an outsider on gay culture make you the right or the wrong person to write this book?
Both. I spend a lot of time reconstructing laboriously and imprecisely what many gay men already know. I'm sure they could do it better, but they aren't talking, except in one-liners. It takes someone who doesn't get it on the first take to work out the logic. I wish someone else would do the explaining, but it looks like I have to.
How bad at being gay are you? Embarrassing examples, please.
Terrible, truly terrible. I'm not a very camp person; I'm very serious. I spent the first several decades of my life absorbing high culture -- studying Greek tragedy, German music, American politics. I thought the appeal of Judy Garland to gay men was a profound enigma. I hated disco and loved rock music. I was a junkie for meaning.
Tell me about your "mother" -- or rather, the fact that you didn't have one. Do you wish you'd had an older gay male confidante who taught you about gay culture?
Well, from time to time in my youth I would meet a wise old queen -- that is, someone in their early thirties -- who would explain to me why my idiotic notions about gay romance were wrong. But in some respects, my "mother" turns out to have been an Australian boyfriend half my age who made me watch The Women about 20 years after I came out.


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until child support deadbeaters enters the equation.
It doesn't count if you "thumbs up" yourself.
I'm glad I was proven wrong on this one. I said earlier it would be won on name recognition. Wonder where all the supporters went to?
doesn't seem to know much about their own policies. Maybe salary needs to be rethought...?
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April 4, 2011
It was a mixed bag as far as results go, but one student-athlete from each of the three Clarkson University spring athletic offerings picked up Liberty League Weekly honors on Monday for their performances over the past seven days.
For the Clarkson University Baseball team, David Kinney (Mexico, NY) was chosen as the Liberty League Co-Performer of the Week. Over the course of four games, Kinney dominated both at the plate and on the mound, hitting .412 while slugging 1.000, thanks to four doubles and a pair of home runs. He also drove in five runs and scored five times as Clarkson went 3-1. In one of those victories, Kinney came in to close out a contest, gaining the five final outs without allowing a baserunner.
In his first career start, Pat Briggs (Baldwinsville, NY) of the Clarkson University Men's Lacrosse team posted six saves and held Vassar College to just four goals in 60 minutes as the Golden Knights gained a conference victory, earning the sophomore goalkeeper Liberty League Co-Defender of the Week honors. Briggs had a 3.70 goals against average and a .600 save percentage in two contests last week.
Freshman Marissa Mastronardi (Cortland, NY) scored nine points in three games to take Liberty League Rookie of the Week honors for the Clarkson University Women's Lacrosse team. Against Oswego State, she had a goal and three assists, while in a pair of Liberty League contests over the weekend, she combined for three goals, two assists, and three groundballs.


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By concentrating on what matters most in a sports watch and leaving secondary features to one side, TomTom has come up with a tracker that works just as hard as you do.
Does less, does it for longer
TomTom's first solo effort in the fitness world is slim enough to wear all day as a normal watch. Straps are interchangeable and data syncing is done by docking the watch in a USB cradle. The LCD screen is clear and straightforward, with navigation via TomTom's simple 'one-button' setup – which is actually a four-way rocker. The 'swim sensor' mode uses accelerometers to track your time in the pool, and it also logs treadmill workouts.
More after the break...
The triathlete's choice?
TomTom keeps things simple here, and while the menu layout initially seems odd, you'll soon learn where to find everything. The TomTom's web app isn't as slick as those of its rivals but a bespoke smartphone app has just gone live and you can sync to some 3rd party services. Tracking of runs, swims and cycles makes it great for triathletes in training, but the lack of a dedicated triathlon mode means it's more awkward than it should be for actual races. The accelerometer-based swimming mode can also be a bit patchy. But it lasts for days, the clear display gives stats at a glance and the 'training partner' pacing function is brilliant. There's no Wi-Fi transfer but the potential is great given the price.
TomTom Multi-Sport
A comparative bargain and a must for multi-disciplinarians


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The vision of HABITATION SOLUTIONS is to design residences and small buildings that meet customers' needs, are responsive to the environment, use minimal resources, and are places where people want to be.
The mission of HABITATION SOLUTIONS is to provide design and drafting services and energy auditing services for residences and small buildings that meet customers' needs
Resulting in
Wise Resource Use
Resources used wisely and smartly maximize the efficiency of resources already purchased, saving money by requiring less.
Visit Projects for examples.
Architecture & residential design services focus on custom residences and small commercial buildings. Energy and resource-efficient solutions are an important part of the work performed by HABITATION SOLUTIONS. Strategies like passive solar gain, air-sealing, enhanced insulation, reduction of thermal bridging, and efficient mechanical systems are used in the design of our buildings.
Passive House and Energy Star consulting are the two the two residential energy-efficiency programs offered by HABITATION SOLUTIONS.
A variety of residential energy audits are offered, ranging in scope from a visual inspection to diagnostics (blower door testing and infrared scanning). The audits are structured to fit within the Xcel Energy residential energy-audit rebate program.
HABITATION SOLUTIONS is owned by Jeff von Breitenfeld, an architect with 30 years of experience.
Sustainable Buildings
A Sustainable building is one that uses less energy, water, and building material resources to construct and operate than a comparable building. A more healthful interior environment can be characterized as one with better ventilation, more daylight and views, and control over lighting and temperature.
The Foothills home, shown above, sits on a 35 acre site with ample open space. The site slopes slightly across the house, providing enough fall to allow light into the lower level.
The open plan main level takes advantage of wonderful views and warmth from the masonry heater. The house is positioned on the site to maximize solar-exposure. The building is extraordinarily well-built, resulting in low demand for heating.
This home uses only 15% of the energy as an average home achieving long-term energy savings along with comfort and luxury.
Copyright © 2014 Habitation Solutions: 303-564-7641


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"Where to begin? Our wedding week was totally
and completely perfect and memorable! The cottage was a fantastic site
for "wedding central", and your hospitality and willingness
to help out made all our dreams come true. You two are a special couple
- Thank you for sharing your home and your love!
at Vermont's White Rocks Inn Bed & Breakfast


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Summary: Core strategic management concepts without the excess. Just the essentials-Strategic Management and Competitive Advantagestrips out excess by only presenting material that answers the question: does this concept help students analyze real business situations? This carefully crafted approach provides students with all the tools necessary for strategic analysis. The third edition continues to be integrated around the highly successful VRIO framework while incorporating an entire ch ...show moreapter devoted to international management. ...show lessEdition/Copyright: 3RD 10
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My son and I went for a walk at Roger's Environmental Center in Sherburne this afternoon. Despite budget cuts, the trails are still beautiful, and so is everything else.
Roger's Environmental Center
By: s_ulrichSubscribe Channel: Weather Location: Sherburne, Chenango County, NY
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Years after the '70s disco fad and subsequent backlash had subsided, Maurice Gibb told an interviewer that he'd like to dress up the Saturday Night Fever album in a white suit and gold medallion and set the whole thing on fire, such was the stigma that had been attached to him and his brothers Barry and Robin by press and public alike. One minute, they were the purveyors of 'blue-eyed soul', melding their pop roots, trademark harmonies and Barry's newly discovered falsetto with their love of early '70s Philadelphia funk, crafting heavily rhythmic dance music that was finding its way onto black American radio stations. The next, thanks to a soundtrack album that sold a then-record 25 million copies worldwide and topped the US charts for 24 weeks — where it spawned four number one singles, three of them their own — they were the Kings of Disco and all that encompassed, reaping the rewards and then the brickbats.
Still, as Barry later asserted, it did put food on the table, while the Saturday Night Fever album was a significant moment in the annals of pop culture; a moment when a trio of white Englishmen almost single-handely ignited a widespread mania for the disco music that had previously been the domain of the black and gay sub-cultures in America, and had been superseded by punk in Europe. In addition to the Bee Gees' recordings of 'Stayin' Alive', 'How Deep Is Your Love', 'Night Fever', 'More Than A Woman', 'Jive Talkin' and 'You Should Be Dancing', the two-LP set contained their compositions being covered by the Tavares ('More Than A Woman') and Yvonne Elliman ('If I Can't Have You'), alongside lesser material by the likes of Walter Murphy, David Shire, Ralph MacDonald, MFSB, the Trammps, Kool & the Gang, and KC & the Sunshine Band. Yet it is 'Stayin' Alive', which played over the movie's opening credits while John Travolta's Tony Manero strutted down the New York streets in his polyester suit, that best evokes the era and its promotion of sex, drugs and breathless boogying as some form of decadent compensation for a humdrum daily existence.
Photo courtesy of Dick Ashby
It is therefore interesting that this track, along with 'How Deep Is Your Love' and 'More Than A Woman', was originally penned for a completely different project: the follow-up to the Main Course and Children Of The World albums that had seen the Bee Gees reinvent and reestablish themselves as a chart force, thanks to hits such as 'Jive Talkin', 'Nights On Broadway', 'You Should Be Dancing' and 'Love So Right'. And there to assist them as a co-producer and engineer was Karl Richardson, a man whose impressive track record is one of the industry's better kept secrets.
A Miami native, Richardson began his studio career there in 1969 at Criteria, mastering a wide variety of mixes and popular hits of the day, not least because Atlantic Records block-booked Studio B for an entire year. So it was that he cut his musical teeth listening to Aretha Franklin, Dr. John, the Young Rascals, Brook Benton and whoever else was on the Atlantic roster at that time, as produced by Jerry Wexler, Tom Dowd and Arif Mardin. It was quite an education, and soon Richardson also found himself assisting as a recording engineer on albums by Eric Clapton, the Average White Band and Lynyrd Skynyrd.
"It was a lot of ear training," he says. "We would try loads of different things with a lot of different microphones before using them on a client. Ron Albert and Chuck Kirkpatrick were already staff engineers at Criteria alongside [founder] Mack [Emerman], and I was the third guy."
Voices From On High
It was while recording 'Nights On Broadway' for the Main Course album that Barry Gibb had discovered his falsetto voice, urged on by Arif Mardin who was looking for a chorus part to spark the song. "He wanted somebody singing up high or maybe screaming," Barry would later tell TV Guide. "So, I went out in the studio, and I found that not only could I scream in tune, I could sing a whole song in falsetto."
Thereafter, this piercing sound would become his — and hence the group's — trademark, along with the silver lamé shirts and toothsome smiles. Much imitated, often derided, it was undeniably a remarkable vocal attribute, and one that served the Bee Gees well on the Saturday Night Fever album and subsequent projects.
"I miked him with a U87, and I just remember at that point Barry was so confident in his falsetto, the sound of his falsetto, because he had more control over it," says Richardson. "He had great mic technique — he's as good as Michael Jackson any day of the week, and I've overdubbed both of them — and although Barry was always a little shy about his tenor voice, he had this command of the falsetto."
Chateau d'Herouville studio assistant Michel Marie recalls being amazed by the way the Bee Gees recorded their harmonies. "When I learnt they would be three to sing, I set up three different headphones and three different mics. They said 'No, no!' and asked me for a single mic, and no headphones — just a little speaker close to them. They sang together around the same mic, looking at each other. And when I heard them, I knew what 'good singing' meant : even on the first take, they were perfect, in tune, in the rhythm... I was not used to that from French singers!"
Criteria had a rich history of technological innovation. Opening as a three-track facility in 1958, it boasted an eight-channel console as early as 1964 and four-track recording a couple of years later. Studio B was constructed in 1967, Studio C was added in 1972, and D and E were built towards the end of that decade, by which time everything was 24-track. Richardson, in the meantime, became Criteria's Senior Engineer and ran its disc mastering plant en route to amassing credits that include Barbra Streisand, Diana Ross, Dionne Warwick, Lee Ritenour, Peabo Bryson, Michael Jackson, Andy Gibb and, of course, the Bee Gees. It's with the brothers Gibb that he's enjoyed his greatest success, earning nine Grammy nominations and winning two: Producer of the Year and Album of the Year for Saturday Night Fever.
Photos courtesy of Dick Ashby
With Karl Richardson behind the board, Arif Mardin had produced 1975's Main Course album, but Mardin was out of the picture once Bee Gees business manager Robert Stigwood ended his RSO label's distribution deal with Atlantic and went over to Polygram. Thereafter, the band, bolstered by Alan Kendall on lead guitar, Blue Weaver on keyboards and Dennis Byron on drums, ventured out to California for the Children Of The World project, and when things didn't work out with a new producer they turned to Richardson and asked him to collaborate with them back at Criteria.
"While I did all of the engineering, I wasn't really up to snuff in terms of my musical knowledge and how to communicate on that level," he admits. "My hands were too full, so I called my friend [keyboard player and producer] Albhy Galuten, who was in England at the time, working on an album for Dick James Music, and I said 'Albhy, listen: I'm sitting here, alone in the studio with the Bee Gees, and I'm trying to tell the drummer to not be so busy on the hi-hat, but he wants to know about eighth notes.' Albhy said 'Well, that's an amazing coincidence, because I've just listened to the final playback of the album I'm working on. I'll be on the next flight.' That led to the beginning of Karlbhy Productions and our association with Barry.
Photo: Franck Ernould
but Albhy could play piano and Albhy could play guitar, so he knew what would and wouldn't work. I, meanwhile, would take care of the engineering and I'd constantly be challenged by the guys to 'Make it sound better, Karl.' What's 'better' mean? The console doesn't have a 'better' knob. Still, the combination of Barry, Albhy and I worked in the control room, and the rest, as they say, is history."This history would, in addition to the Bee Gees' Children Of The World, Here At Last... Bee Gees... Live, Saturday Night Fever, Spirits Having Flown and Living Eyes albums, also take in Andy Gibb's Flowing Rivers, Shadow Dancing and After Dark, Barbra Streisand's Guilty, Dionne Warwick's Heartbreaker, and the 1983 soundtrack to Fever sequel Staying Alive. All featured hugely successful Gibb compositions, yet back in 1977 the guys felt under pressure to deliver the goods for their follow-up to Main Course and its three hit singles.
"For tax purposes they needed to make records outside the UK and the United States," explains Richardson. "So, we were looking at Canada and their [personal] manager Dick Ashby was looking at other places, and Dick eventually booked a month of studio time at Chateau d'Herouville, where Elton John had recorded Honky Chateau. It was in a funky little village about an hour and a half north of Paris, and it was in a funky state, with a 24-track Studer tape machine, serial number 001 — the thing was barely on its last legs. In fact, after Elton John left there, the owner of the studio had smashed it to smithereens and rebuilt what was left of it in a second-storey loft within this castle. Well, it was ungrounded, and when I arrived there was a terrific buzz on everything, so I spent the first two days grounding the place.
Photo: Franck Ernould
"The console was an old API 550 on which someone had coloured all the EQ knobs with nail polish, and the other fun thing about it was that the faders had worn contacts in them, and there were holes where the audio would completely drop out. So, I had to mark all the faders with tape: 'Don't move across this line if there's any audio.' Even the monitors were horrible. We used headphones and a little set of Auratones."
All of which begs the question: Why stay there?
"Management had already committed us," comes the reply. "Of course, we showed up there in the winter, and there was an outside window behind us in the horizontal control room, so we'd put the Heineken bottles there to keep them cold. It was great, and another fun thing about the expedition was the fact that, while some of the guys brought their wives, there were only two showers on the premises that worked. This meant everybody had to line up for the bathroom, and the result was that we'd probably start recording at about two in the afternoon and stay up until about three or four in the morning. It was really stupid, but that was the only way we could get all of the showers done in the morning."
The control room overlooked a live area whose ceiling had less-than-ideal wooden beams, and it was there that Karl Richardson recorded the four-piece setup of Maurice on bass, Dennis Byron on drums, Blue Weaver on keyboards and Barry on acoustic guitar.
"Afterwards, Maurice might do a couple of touch-ups on the bass," he recalls, "Alan Kendall would overdub a guitar track and Barry would make me double up the acoustic."
Richardson can no longer recall exactly how the drums were miked, but he does know they were condensed to four tracks — bass, snare and a stereo track for everything else — because this was his preferred method for many years. And he also has a clear recollection of how he first came to hear 'Stayin' Alive': "I distinctly remember Barry saying 'Boy, Karl, have I got a song for you,' and sitting down to play 'Stayin' Alive' on an acoustic guitar. It was like a chant and it was unbelievable. I said 'Barry, don't forget that rhythm. That's a number one record.' I knew, five bars in, no questions asked. You couldn't get past the intro without knowing it was a smash."
The Sound Of Disco
Together, the Bee Gees, Karl Richardson and Albhy Galuten created what most of us think of as the sound of disco, but it was not their intention to invent a new style. "We never knew about disco and we didn't think about disco. We thought we were making rhythm and blues records. It was all about R&B. We loved all that stuff, we just couldn't figure out how to do it! 'Oh man, that sounds great, but it sounds like a room full of studio musicians.' 'Yeah, well...' The sound we came up with was therefore our sound, and for the Saturday Night Fever album we recorded all of the tracks in France, and overdubbed and mixed in Miami, while overdubbing in LA too. 'More Than A Woman' was given to the Tavares brothers, and their track came in sub-standard so we were asked to go out to LA and finish the Bee Gees' own demo. That's what we did, adding congas and strings before mixing at Criteria.
"'Night Fever' was cut live in France. Maurice was playing DI'd bass with his pick, Dennis Byron was playing drums, Blue Weaver was playing keyboards, Alan Kendall was playing rhythm guitar, and Barry was playing rhythm and singing the pilot vocal. The drums were the only thing retained from this live track — it was a complete take, not comped — and all the other parts were overdubbed, like the keyboard part that was carefully crafted. I mean, many parts weren't there from the start. Blue, Barry, Albhy and I would sit down and say 'That chord sounds great there, but how about when the guitar player goes "dang, wa-tang"? Do you want the seventh in the chord or do you want to leave that hole there?' Those were the kinds of things that had to be worked out.
"It was all very orchestrated. It was a process and it was all about 'head charts'; creating in the studio. You know 'Gee, OK, that's the part of the verse for the keyboards.' Then we would go for the performance. All of the arrangements were done on the spot and then the performance was executed until it felt good. That was the standard. It didn't matter how we got there — whether something was thrown together or it was one take — our concern was that it felt good, that it made a statement. How it's done, I don't know. I mean, how do you make a Mercedes-Benz? Do you start with the tyres? All I know is the end product. If that's accepted, then how it came to be is just detail.
"We had no guidelines. The only rule was there were no rules, so we could do anything. It didn't matter if it was a bass drum or a synthesizer sound — we would talk about it and say 'Well, why don't we do this?' And I can't recall anything specific because this took place almost on every song. Plus the fact that everything was at least second-generation, most of it third. On the next album, Spirits Having Flown, we discovered 48-track, so everything at that point was multitracked, Dolby, bounced, bounced, bounced, bounced, bounced, whereas the other stuff was 24-track. However, to get it to 24 a lot of it was hand-sync'ed and we'd overdub forever. Again, those sounds were probably limited to what we had available at Criteria in terms of reverb chambers, processing, MCI consoles. Who knows?
"I do know this: 'Night Fever' is the rough mix. We mixed that song in 10 minutes. We had overdubbed all these synthesizer pads, extra guitar notes, little percussion instruments and so on, and we kept mixing it again and again and again, and then finally we played the rough mix and everybody said it felt better. You see, it was all about feel at that time. It wasn't about trying to impress people. And that was the key to the music. As a matter of fact, we had a demo of 'How Deep Is Your Love' from France, with the brothers singing, Blue playing keyboards and Mo playing bass, and right up until the final mix we would play that rough mix from France to use as a guide, because the feel was everything to us. "
One thing that distinguished the Bee Gees from traditional R&B was their characteristic rhythms. "A lot of that was Barry's right hand," Richardson says. "I mean, every one of those records has some form of acoustic guitar with Barry going ching-ching-ching. Whether it's hidden or not, it's there, driving the track along."
Barry and Robin had written the song while they were staying at Robert Stigwood's house in Bermuda, and it was shortly after the composition of 'How Deep Is Your Love' and 'More Than A Woman' at Chateau d'Herouville that Stigwood called to inform his boys that these songs weren't for a studio album after all. Instead, they would form part of the soundtrack to a low-budget movie that he was producing, Tribal Rites Of The New Saturday Night, based on a New York magazine article penned by British journalist Nik Cohn.
'Stayin' Alive' was tracked live in the studio, vocals were added and a rough mix was done, but nobody was overly impressed with the end result. "It didn't sound steady enough," Richardson recalls. As a result, 'Night Fever' was quickly penned and recorded with a view to it being the film's banner waver and accompanying album's first single. "Everbody was real happy with the way 'Night Fever' turned out," Richardson states. "It had spark and it sounded wonderful."
However, when the Hollwood honchos were not quite so enthused, attention was refocused on 'Stayin' Alive'. Unfortunately, by this time Dennis Byron had had to fly back to England when his father passed away just days into the sessions, and with no replacement drummers happening to wander by the remote studio in the middle of winter, Barry asked if there was any way they could use the rhythm machine inside the facility's Hammond organ to make the track sound more steady. In the days before Linn Drums, this was quite a request, prompting Karl Richardson and Albhy Galuten to suggest that it might be workable if augmented by Barry's own rhythm guitar.
Photos courtesy of Dick Ashby
"We were able to get a 4/4 beat out of the Hammond, but when Barry played along to it we didn't like the result," says Richardson. "Then Albhy and I came up with the idea of finding two bars [of real drums] that really felt good and making an eternal tape loop." In fact, the engineer's initial intention had been to take two bars of the four-track drums from 'Night Fever', re-record these about 100 times and then splice them together in order to create a new track. It was only while he, Galuten and the band listened and listened and listened to the song over the Auratones in order to find the best couple of bars that Richardson then decided to copy these onto the half-inch tape of an MCI four-track machine and create the aforementioned loop.
"The drums from 'Night Fever' basically consisted of two bars at 30ips," he says. "The tape was over 20 feet long and it was running all around the control room — I gaffered some empty tape-box hubs to the tops of mic stands and ran the tape between the four-track machine and an MCI 24-track deck, using the tape guides from a two-track deck for the tension. Because it was 4/4 time — just hi-hats and straight snare — it sounded steady as a rock, and this was pre-drum machine. For the tempo I used the varispeed on the MCI four-track, so the drums that ended up on the 24-track were at least third-generation, and because the tape heads were so badly worn I brightened the tracks that were already Dolby A-encoded with high-end EQ from the API console."
The drum loop would go on to have quite a career in its own right, serving as the backbone to not only the 'Stayin' Alive' and 'More Than A Woman', but also Barbra Streisand's 'Woman In Love'. "That steady, steady track gave us the groove we wanted, and we then overdubbed everbody to it," Richardson continues. "The guys did their vocals, Alan played the guitar riff, Blue played electric piano and an ARP string synth, and when Dennis returned he overdubbed the toms, crash and hi-hat. He loved it. A case of a lot less work. And the fun thing was, when we listed the credit on the record, the drummer on 'Stayin' Alive' was listed as Bernard Lupé; a sort of French version of the famous session drummer Bernard Purdie. Well, we received an unbelievable amount of calls looking for this steady drummer named Bernard Lupé. You know, 'This guy's a rock! I've never heard anyone so steady in my life!'"
Barry and Maurice's lead vocal was laid down after they and Robin stood around a Neumann U67 to record their harmonies, compressed with a Urei 1167. "They just went out into the studio and nailed it," says Richardson. "It didn't take long at all. In other cases, if they didn't get the execution or the balance, it was easier to do it again. It would take longer to argue about it than to redo it, as they were all natural vocalists. The key was that Barry Gibb doesn't really have vibrato, he has tremolo, so his intensity changes but not necessarily his pitch, whereas Robin has very fast vibrato and there are lots of pitch changes. Mo was somewhere in between. Depending on where he was in his range, he either had a little bit of vibrato or just straight tone. So, the distinctiveness was all three voices combining to make this unusual blend that you'd never get anywhere else. Nobody was tracking each other's vibrato, I can tell you that."
Following the recording of vocals at the Chateau, the timbales on 'Stayin' Alive' were overdubbed by Joe Lala at Criteria, where the Miami String Section also embellished Blue Weaver's ARP synth parts, and more strings were added at Capitol Studios in LA.
"We knew we had a smash track," restates Karl Richardson. Nevertheless, the path to true happiness is never straightforward, and the bug in this case was a request from the movie's director, John G Avildsen, to write a bridge section for 'Stayin' Alive' that would momentarily slow it down for a scene where the two main protagonists fall in love on the dance floor. Then the song, and the characters, could return to the up-tempo disco beat. Do you get the picture? Barry and Robin tried to...
"They did write a bridge," Richardson says, "and there is a version of 'Stayin' Alive' where the song actually changes key and turns into a slow ballad for 16 or 32 bars, before there's a big drum break and everything reverts to normal. Well, after that had been recorded and I'd spliced it into the track, Albhy and I stared at each other and said 'Boy, we just ruined a hit record.' We then turned to Barry and said 'We can't use this. We've just screwed up a number one record,' and Barry said 'Yeah, we have.' So, we put the tape back together without the new bridge and called Stigwood to say 'This is bogus. We're not doing it.' And that's when Stigwood fired the director."
John G Alvidsen departed the project shortly before the commencement of principal photography and was hastily replaced by John Badham, who was happy to use 'More Than A Woman' for the pesky dancefloor love scene. So it was that any 'creative differences' were resolved, and 'Stayin' Alive' was ready for mixing once Barry augmented the fade-out with a vocal chant on which Karl Richardson boosted the high frequencies.
In the meantime, there were the other original numbers, including 'How Deep Is Your Love', a soulful, heart-rending ballad that was closer to the Bee Gees' folk-pop days of the late '60s and early '70s in terms of its compositional structure. "Again, I knew from the start that song was going to be a hit," says Richardson. "The songwriting was exquisite, and so at that point all we could do was screw it up. It was Barry who came up with the initial idea, and he and Blue Weaver then developed that. Blue was on electric piano, Barry was on acoustic guitar, and in an afternoon they wrote 'How Deep Is Your Love'. The music was written, I guess, in a couple of hours, and then Barry, Robin and Maurice kind of huddled together and came up with most of the lyrics later that day. I think the second verse still needed to be written — there was a lot of 'hummeny, hummeny, hummeny' — but three or four days later we were doing the vocals."
In all, the Chateau d'Herouville sessions lasted just under two months, which was all the more remarkable since Robert Stigwood also kept Karl Richardson busy there mixing the Bee Gees... Live double album, culled from an appearance at the Los Angeles Forum that had been recorded by the Wally Heider Record Plant mobile unit. Stigwood knew all about cashing in on a good thing, and RSO scheduled the live album for release before the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack.
After overdubbing in LA and Miami, the mix sessions for Saturday Night Fever took place at Criteria. And whereas a rough mix sufficed for 'Night Fever', that for 'Stayin' Alive' was a good deal more complex and, consequently, the first one on which Richardson ever used automation. "It was only 24-track, and in those days the same pair of tracks would jump from strings to percussion to guitar to strings to percussion," he explains. "There was a lot of moving around in the mix, so automation benefited that."
Released as a single in late 1977, 'Stayin' Alive' spent four weeks at number one in the US, remained on the charts for over six months, and has come to represent the best or worst of musical times depending on people's personal preferences. In either case, its significance cannot be ignored, and neither can its impact on many of the late'70s generation.
"In those days we were just having an awful lot of fun," says Karl Richardson, who would go on to do sound design for Broadway musicals from the late '80s through to the late '90s, before returning to Miami and basing himself at the Audio Vision Recording facility of Steve Alaimo and old Criteria colleagues Ron and Howard Albert. "There wasn't too much concern about making a hit record. It was all about cracking jokes, having fun in the studio and making music. There was no pressure. That would come later. Instead, we just thought it was normal to go to the studio, mess around for awhile, have some laughs, get on an airplane, do this, do that and produce a number one... Little did we know."
Stevie Wonder 'Pastime Paradise'
Classic Tracks
Epic in every sense of the word — unning to 21 songs, involving more than 120 musicians and taking almost two years to complete — Stevie Wonder's Songs In The Key Of Life was in many ways the high-point of an already illustrious career. This is the story of how it was created.
Classic Tracks: Producers Chip Young, Billy Swan; Engineer Chip Young
In 1974 Billy Swan walked into Chip Young's Young'un Sound studio and, in two takes, recorded a million-selling single that had taken him 20 minutes to write. This is how it was done...
Classic Track: 'Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick'
The story of how a characteristically chaotic and unorthodox 1978 recording session took Ian Dury & The Blockheads to the top of the UK charts.
CLASSIC TRACKS: Producers: Nile Rodgers, Madonna, Stephen Bray • Engineer: Jason Corsaro
In mid-1984 Madonna arrived at New York City's Power Station studios with Nile Rodgers to record the album that would make her an international superstar - using cutting-edge 12-bit technology.
Fleetwood Mac 'Go Your Own Way'
Classic Tracks
In 1976, in the face of deteriorating personal relationships and massive record company pressure, Fleetwood Mac managed to create a record that would go on to sell 30 million copies.
CLASSIC TRACKS: The Only Ones: 'Another Girl, Another Planet'
Producer: Alan Mair • Engineers: John Burns, Robert Ash
CLASSIC TRACKS: Tricky 'Black Steel'
Producers: Tricky • Mark Saunders
CLASSIC TRACKS: Charlie Rich 'The Most Beautiful Girl In The World'
Producer: Billy Sherrill • Engineer: Lou Bradley
CLASSIC TRACKS: The Ronettes 'Be My Baby'
Producer: Phil Spector • Engineer: Larry Levine
CLASSIC TRACKS: The Jam 'The Eton Rifles'
Producers: The Jam, Vic Coppersmith-Heaven • Engineers: Alan Douglas, Vic Coppersmith-Heaven
CLASSIC TRACKS: Depeche Mode's 'People Are People'
Producers: Depeche Mode, Daniel Miller, Gareth Jones • Engineer: Gareth Jones
CLASSIC TRACKS: Les Paul & Mary Ford 'How High The Moon'
Producer & Engineer: Les Paul
CLASSIC TRACKS: The Cure 'A Forest'
Producers: Robert Smith, Mike Hedges
CLASSIC TRACKS: Sade's 'The Sweetest Taboo'
Producers: Robin Millar, Sade Adu, Mike Pela, Ben Rogan
Artist: David Bowie; Producers: David Bowie, Tony Visconti; Studio: Hansa Ton, Berlin
CLASSIC TRACKS: 'Anarchy In The UK'
Artist: The Sex Pistols; Producer: Chris Thomas; Engineer: Bill Price
MICHAEL JACKSON 'Black Or White' | Classic Tracks
Producers: Michael Jackson, Bill Bottrell • Engineer: Bill Bottrell
Producers: Duran Duran, Alex Sadkin, Ian Little; Engineers: Phil Thornalley, Pete Schwier
CLASSIC TRACKS: 'Wuthering Heights'
Artist: Kate Bush; Producer: Andrew Powell; Engineer: Jon Kelly
CLASSIC TRACKS: 'What's Love Got To Do With It?'
Artist: Tina Turner; Producer: Terry Britten; Engineer: John Hudson
Artist: The Rolling Stones; Engineer: Chris Kimsey
Classic Tracks: The Police's 'Every Breath You Take'
Producers: The Police, Hugh Padgham • Engineer: Hugh Padgham.
CLASSIC TRACKS: 'Unforgettable'
Artists: Natalie Cole & Nat 'King' Cole; Producer: David Foster; Engineer: Al Schmitt


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Waste King 4015 Garbage Disposer Stainless Basket Strainer & Stopper - Ez Mount
Anaheim Manufacturing Company, a brand you can trust, is one of the two largest food waste disposer manufacturers in the world. Makers of several product brand labels, including Waste King", Whirlaway" and Sinkmaster", AM is the leader in new concepts and designs, and the first to introduce innovative technology with the use of high speed permanent magnet motors and structural composite materials.See us for full line of food waste disposers, Quick&Hot" hot water dispenser, CoolWater" inline water chiller and designer faucets, bringing kitchen products, convenience and innovation into your home. Basket Strainer & Stopper Fits Ez-mount disposers Stainless Steel FinishFull manufacturers warranty included Fits the following Ez-mount disposers: Waste King Legend Series Waste King Gourmet Series Whirlaway Sinkmaster Bonecrusher Sinkmaster Elite II
Product OEM:Waste King
E-mail a friend about this item.
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Ladies & gentlemen, I would like to announce that there is a new photo gallery section. You can create your own personal photo gallery (to include setting up your own albums). You can even post videos. You can also post and share photos in the galleries of others (if that person allows such), as well . ENJOY!!!
Roman Seas: 1/300 Trireme
Discussion in 'Ship & Watercraft Models' started by Corporal_Trim, Jun 18, 2006.


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To Weight Train or Not to Weight Train?
by Laticia "Action" Jackson IFBB Fitness Pro/ 2008 Fitness Olympian www.luvyourselffit.com firstname.lastname@example.com On a regular basis I hear women say they don't weight train because they will end up looking bulky like a man. Based on this fear, they indulge themselves into endless cardiovascular activities and are often unhappy with their overall fitness results. You […]Read More


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Hey Grumbledook.
For your V section, VeryPC are skipping exhibiting again this year, to continue passing savings on to our customers, BUT I will be visiting to have a bunch of meetings and, more importantly, to deliver a BroadLeaf USFF PC to the Edugeek stand to be given away as a prize in their competition.
I'll be around most of today and tomorrow, so if anyone fancies a chat (and a free VeryPC pen no less!), give me a call on 07528 202726 and we'll hook up.
Alan, the marketing guy .


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Select () or exclude () categories to narrow your recipe search.
As you select categories, the number of matching recipes will update.
Find exactly what you're looking for with the web's most powerful recipe filtering tool.
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"A friend brought this to a potluck and then gave out the recipe, which is identical to the one posted here. It received more raves than any other dish at the potluck meal, and there were many good ones."
"This soup was delicious! It was quick after I peeled and cut up the squash, a process similar to peeling and cutting up a granite boulder. Next time, I am going to bake the squash in the oven until it is partially cooked and then peel it and dice it to add to the broth."
"This super-simple recipe was absolutely delicious."
"I lightened it a bit by using 2% milk and low fat chive and onion cream cheese. I used about 3 cups of the cheddar cheese. It was delicious. Best breakfast casserole I have eaten."


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|The Monkey King: The Legend Begins-Highscore
uploaded by NintendoCosmos.com
Downloaded: 62 times (75.25 KB)
Region: E - USA / Canada
A game made for the Wii that should of been on WiiWare. That's how small the game is. Game Code-RTDE
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Lost Dog Labrador missing from Crossens Southport Merseyside
Holly went missing with her sister afternoon of 10.1.2011 from her garden off Rufford Road Crossens Area Southport. Fortunatley sister was found in Crossens Village shop area but Holly is still Missing.She is all black with light brown eyes medium build Young adult. She is microchipped. Has anyone had any sightings??? Please contact or keep an eye out. Going out of our minds please contact if any info 07867 558752
Lost Dog Labrador Southport
Distinguishing Marks
All Black whith light brown eyes
Missing Pet Features
Southport Merseyside PR9
Contact this Member
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Found Pet Matches
The following found pets have been selected as a match to the one listed, please also use the pet search options as there may be more pets matching this description in a wider area.
Missing Pet Video
Added on January 11, 2011 Listing id 27780 [961]
Quick Lost Pet Search Tags: Dog Labrador PR9 Southport Merseyside


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- Product Image Title
- zmturtletub
Zoo Meds TurtleTub® replicates the natural "pond" environment that aquatic turtles (in the wild) live in, resulting in less animal stress.
- A built in land / water area.
- Large land area allows natural basking and egg laying behavior.
- Lightweight and easy to clean.
- The TurtleTub® is available separately or as a complete kit.
- Made in the USA from 100% recycled materials.


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Save money on Karmaloop and PLNDR by using my repcode: easymoney55


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Summer Spirit Infusions
© Christina Holmes
It's an essential tenet of mixology: Great drinks start with quality spirits. But when the liquor on hand would be more appropriate at a frat party than a cocktail bar, don't give up. "Throw some fruit in there and kick-start an infusion," suggests Brandon Lockman, a bartender at the Red Star Tavern, in Portland, Oregon.
Here, Lockman shares ideas for fantastic infusions for every spirit, plus the perfect summer cocktails to make with them. MORE >read more


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"Rare and Important Old Master Prints Through Modern Master"
Gramercy & Flatiron
Until Wed Oct 27 2010
- Free
Escargots with persillade custard
Time Out says
Posted: Thu Mar 15 2012
See more than 70 prints by Northern Renaissance masters Albrecht Dürer and Rembrandt van Rijn before Swann Auction Galleries puts them on the block. Don't have $90,000 to scoop up Dürer's famous engraving of Adam and Eve? You'll have to settle for the exhibition catalogue ($40).
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5 Stocks and 5 Reasons to Buy Them
Here are five stocks, and five reasons to buy them. But really, you only need to know one thing: The valuations are absurd.
But if you still want more justification as to why you should buy, I've listed a few reasons that you can use to support your own investment hypothesis. Pick your poison. That said, I'm fighting an internal battle; I don't want to be too descriptive because I don't want more people out there driving up the prices I have to pay to buy.
Short Squeeze?
How about 45% of the float being short, 11 days on the Regulation SHO list, breaking out of what was a six-month downtrend, increasing strength in business fundamentals, and a buyback equivalent to 30% or more of the float at current prices? Well, if you find yourself picking up the phone for your broker tell him you want to buy China MediaExpress (CCME). Merry Christmas. You might want to compare China Media to Focus Media Holding (FMCN), which is way more expensive.Aggressive Buyer? What are your thoughts on taking a low-risk ride on the gravy train thanks to investor Andrew Worden? He's aggressively been snatching up incredibly inexpensive shares of China Armco Metals (CNAM). He's bought so much that he's become an insider. Ride his coattails, I am.
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Gaétan Tardif Elected President Of The Canadian Paralympic Committee - Extensive Experience Added To CPC Board Of Directors
Biographies of all incoming CPC Board members - President, Vice-President, and Directors - are available here: https://www.paralympic.ca/en/About-Us/Board-of-Directors.html
Canadian Paralympic Committee photos available for download: http://tinyurl.com/d88bbmm
About the Canadian Paralympic Committee
The Canadian Paralympic Committee is a non-profit, private organization with 46 member sports organizations dedicated to strengthening the Paralympic Movement. The Canadian Paralympic Committee's vision is to be the world's leading Paralympic nation. Its mission is to lead the development of a sustainable Paralympic sport system in Canada to enable athletes to reach the podium at the Paralympic Games. By supporting Canadian Paralympic athletes and promoting their success, the Canadian Paralympic Committee inspires all Canadians with a disability to get involved in sport through programs delivered by its member organizations. For more information, visit www.paralympic.caSOURCE Canadian Paralympic Committee (CPC) Image with caption: "Gaétan Tardif elected President of the Canadian Paralympic Committee (CNW Group/Canadian Paralympic Committee (CPC))". Image available at: http://photos.newswire.ca/images/download/20130511_C6091_PHOTO_EN_26623.jpg
Select the service that is right for you!COMPARE ALL SERVICES
Action Alerts PLUSTry it NOW
Jim Cramer and Stephanie Link actively manage a real portfolio and reveal their money management tactics while giving advanced notice before every trade.
Product Features:
- $2.5+ million portfolio
- Large-cap and dividend focus
- Intraday trade alerts from Cramer
- Weekly roundups
TheStreet Quant RatingsTry it NOW
Only $49.95/yr
Access the tool that DOMINATES the Russell 2000 and the S&P 500.
Product Features:
- Buy, hold, or sell recommendations for over 4,300 stocks
- Unlimited research reports on your favorite stocks
- A custom stock screener
- Upgrade/downgrade alerts
Stocks Under $10Try it NOW
David Peltier, uncovers low dollar stocks with extraordinary upside potential that are flying under Wall Street's radar.
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- Model portfolio
- Stocks trading below $10
- Intraday trade alerts
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Dividend Stock AdvisorTry it NOW
Jim Cramer's protege, David Peltier, identifies the best of breed dividend stocks that will pay a reliable AND significant income stream.
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- Diversified model portfolio of dividend stocks
- Alerts when market news affect the portfolio
- Bi-weekly updates with exact steps to take - BUY, HOLD, SELL
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6.5% ABV on tap
Truths, Myths, Misconceptions, Malodor, and Consequences at New York City Civil Court Jury Duty
I'd of course forgotten to set my alarm the night before. But, luckily, the weather was nice so the all-male Orthodox Jewish preschool housed directly underneath my bedroom window had allowed its pupils to play outside on this fine morning and several dozen giggling and shouting yarmulked and fringe-clothed little pischers woke me at 7:09, the earliest I'd been up that didn't involve impending air travel or the tail end of a bender in at least three years. I had to be downtown by 8:00 for my first career stint at jury duty.
111 Centre Street is quite the hike from the Vice Blogger's fortified drinking compound, but I wasn't concerned, I had no plans to shower, to even look presentable. My few friends who'd had jury duty assured me it was an in-and-out procedure. "A normal guy like you, eh, you'll be dismissed before noon," was the boilerplate refrain I'd oft-heard to my probing questions. Fantastic. My friends thought I was normal! I already had plans to meet an unemployed pal at a super-early happy hour by 3 PM that day.
I threw on the previous night's stinky drinking clothes and topped my bedhead off with a backwards Syracuse cap. Gangsta. I passed on a swipe of my pits with the Speed Stick and a brush of my pearlies with the Crest. I was on the 2 train headed south a mere six minutes after the Jew-kids had woke me up with their four-square playing.
Getting off at the Chambers Street stop I felt like I was in a new city as this was not a part of Manhattan I find myself in more than once a year. I mean, the bar scene stinks down there! I was running late and somewhat lost and by the time I got to the court building, I was at the tail-end of a long snaking line of potential jurors all angrily staring at the same red and white dot matrixed card I'd received in the mail a few weeks previous. As I waited to go through the metal detectors, my first myth of jury duty service was immediately dispelled: people at jury duty are not the rag-tag rough-and-tumble bunch I'd expected. I was prepared to, even in my filthy state, be one of the best-dressed, least-foreboding, and most put-together of the entire lot but that was far from the truth. In fact, I was arguably the worst of the worst. I was what I expected everyone else to look like. What's that quote from "Rounders?" "If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the (poker) table, then you ARE the sucker." Well, if you can't spot the scumbag while waiting in line for jury duty, then you are that scumbag.
The people around me were a sophisticated bunch of businessmen and women dressed to, at least the eights, perhaps even the nines I would dare say, praying they could quickly get out of service to actually go to work. To actually go to work! What a revelation. And now it hit me, of course jury duty wasn't going to be populated with the layabouts and idlers and profligates and bones, thugs, and harmony who I had expected to see. Those are the exact kind of people that could never in a million years handle getting something in the mail, reading that something, remembering that something, waking up at 7-something AM, and getting their something in gear down to the court house. Shit, I was just a few percentile points of laziness, disrespectability, and irresponsibility from being one of those aforementioned something or others. The kind of person that would actually promptly and correctly respond to a government call for mandated service would of course be the same kind that has their shit together enough to have a job and to shower and to not drink til 3 AM on weeknights.
The line was overflowing with men in Ferragamo lace-ups and women in the whatever kinda pumps Carrie Bradshaw got clitoral erections over, all trying to figure out where that terrible smell was emitting from, all eventually honing it's epicenter down to the brow-sweating man in beat-up jeans and Nike Shox, the only sneaker- and denim-clad person in the line, oozing booze from every pore in his body not already clogged by pizza and cheeseburger grease.
I still had a wicked hangover from the previous night. Though I'd typical avoid Mexican St. Patty's Day because I hate bullshit fratboyified drinking holidays, I'd had a date and started my Cinco de Mayo drinking early at the Ginger Man, excited to see The Bruery's Saison De Lente there on tap. I'd found their flagship Orchard White a mild disappointment but could still tell this was a creative brewery–still just in its first year of existence–to look out for. And this motherfucking saison floored me! Incredibly floral and citrusy with an earthy spiciness and a sourdough bready maltiness. A mild funky Brettness, this is one of the hoppier saisons I've ever had but still silky smooth. It just slides down your throat like a kid on a Slip 'n' Slide. Like you're drinking some KY jelly. (Wait, that sounded more perverse than I wanted it to and inferred things that I have no interest in inferring.) Saison De Lente is incredibly interesting and delicious. Instantly becoming one of my top saisons. Well done, The Bruery!
On a typical day the longest I go without caffeine entering my system is maybe like fifteen minutes after rising. A hungover, miserable day like this was no time to break any records as I neared a full hour of uncaffeination. Passing through the out-of-date metal detector, I was praying that the courthouse had a food court or something en route to my jury room. Luckily, I stumbled upon a Middle-Eastern chap selling cardboard pastries, donuts, bagels, and coffee too, but unluckily what he had to offer was some of the hottest, most acrid coffee I'd ever had in my life. I needed the caffeine but it was terrible tasting and I could also tell it would have remarkable laxative qualities and, what with a 2 AM styrofoam Hallal street meat still in my belly from just several hours earlier, I didn't want to find myself on the public court house can. I shuddered to think of that. I shuddered more to think of sitting there as the head of the jury room called my name, "Goldfarb? Goldfarb? Has he skipped out?! Contempt of court!"
I entered the massive jury room, similiar to the kind of facilities fly-by-night churches have to rent for weekly services and took my seat at the unfortunate front of the room. The smarter kids had some how known to arrive early so they could get the cherished seats in the way back where they could goof and doze off without any repercussions*. The head of the jury room came out to welcome us and yet another myth was dispelled–the workers here were some of the most upbeat and kind people I'd ever met in my life. Incredibly helpful and good humored, and willing to answer the ad nauseum dumb questions asked of him by my fellow jurors.
These folks may have been better-dressed and ostensibly more respectable looking than me but goddamn were they dumb. An infilade of daft and dopey queries exploded from these dunderheads' pieholes like the retards in your college lecture hall classes who hectored the prof with the most asinine inanities. "Will this be on the final?," "Should I keep notes?," and "Do we have to read every book on the syllabus?" were replaced by shit like "Do we get a lunch break?," "Will we ever be sequestered?," and "Is this just like 'Law & Order?'"
We watched an instructional video on "how" to be a juror and though I wanted to not pay attention, it was hard to ignore this 1980s VHS tape hosted by Diane Sawyer and featuring Don Johnson in jury room dramatizations as it offered such helpful bon mots as: "…if you get excused from duty, do not worry, it is not a judgment of your intelligence." Oh, don't worry Diane, I wasn't worried.
Afterward, we had to line up to submit our pay forms in order to be remitted $40 for our service, where yet another kind courthouse employee, a most gregarious man, cheerfully read each person's occupation aloud as he accepted forms.
"Ah, a professor, whadaya teach?"
"Looky there, a firefighter! Thanks for your service!"
"Cool, a lawyer! What firm?"
I started playing a little game, guessing what each person did, anything to keep me busy. This group of jurors was like an Ivy League class reunion. Some serious heavyweights in the room. But not completely…
For about every fourth person or so, the gregarious fella would look at the card and excitedly say:
"Well you're not today! Today, you're making forty bucks!"
Wow, the unemployment rate was high.
And then, we sat and waited. And waited and waited and waited. The room had wifi and I had brought my laptop, but leaving in such a rush I had forgotten my power cord and arrived with only an hour of battery life left. By 10:00 that was completely sapped. I tried to read a novel, but all I'd packed was a heady Thomas Wolfe work I couldn't focus on. I tried to amuse myself by reading the NYC Juror Weekly newsletter–this seriously exists–but it sounds more humorous that it actually is.
So all that left me to do for the interminable hours was to observe those around me.
To my right, an obese gentleman slept, snoring loudly, and leaning so far back in his cheap plastic chair that I was certain it would soon snap. Behind me, a sassy Jamaican lady kept telling any one that would listen that Judge Judy wouldn't allow no snoring in her court. She also implored the gregarious man to change the single juror room television from CNN to one of her soaps, but her wish was not granted. To my left, a Jewish gent who conspiratorially informed me that he could not seem to access "lewd and lascivious" websites via the jury room's wifi. Testing him, I entered "JILF amateur porn" into Google and clicked on the first link it gave me. One such JILF–juror I'd like to…know biblically–was sitting directly in front of me, her blonde hair cascading down over her chair and nearly tickling the tips of my knees. The hot piece of work dressed ever so smartly, she had listed her occupation on her jury card as "archaeologist." (Gregarious man: "Wow, cool stuff! Any 'Jurassic Park' stories you can tell me?") I wanted to know her in the worst way but I don't think she had any interest in digging up my bone.
Come to think of it, there were more hot women in my jury room than in any bar I'd been in this year. Gorgeous, statuesque, modelesque women listing their jobs as doctors and lawyers and just ambiguously as "CEO." Wow, what a catwalk the center aisle of the jury room was.
Lunch time in that deplorable part of town full of lawyers in cheap suits and oldass Chinese people selling crustaceans that you thought extinct but had somehow just died within the past minute, and I only had one choice for dining in my mind. I high-tailed it up to Katz's on Houston for a pastrami on rye, a knish, and a beer to even me out. I think being drunk at jury duty is a class A felony but going postal and killing everyone in the room is probably worse.
After lunch I found myself surrounded by an all new crew: two old biddies who apparently became friends in the morning session now loudly working a NY Post crossword together ("1 ACROSS: 'Line before 'Twist and Shout." "Hmmmm…'Shape it on babe?!'" "It fits, Joyce! Perfect!"). A Jeffrey Steingarten lookalike reading an RL Stine book. Go figure. A bespectacled gray-haired chap rocking nonstop in his chair ala Leo Mazzone in the dugout. Very annoying. A sexy school-teacher with a high hemline grading elementary schools essays and affixing gold stars to every other one.
And me, the hungover, stinky, smelly, pissed-off Jew, amusing himself by lampooning those around him.
Many people have said to me, "Ah, I'd LOVE to have jury duty once!" What? You think it's some awesome "Law & Order" shit? You think you're gonna be Henry Fonda and heroically and correctly sway the hearts and minds of eleven other angry men with your brilliant rhetoric? You really think you're going to work some awesome quadruple homicide or drug-running case or something involving terrorism? Naw. With jury duty you are simply being sentenced to the adult version of detention. I'm a wiseass so I of course had detention a time or two in junior high and high school and the adult version of it is much worse. MUCH worse. At least you kinda felt like a badass, a rebel, when you had high school detention. Adult detention just makes you want to be a former felon so that you will never ever never be eligible for this shitty service again.
At least I got a respite for another six years.
*I remember being five or six or so and first hearing the story of Rosa Parks. "But why would she WANT to sit in the front of the bus?! You can't goof off in the front of the bus! The bus driver can see you! Didn't she realize the best seat is in the back of that bus?!" Hush that fuss.