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Tag Archives: topshop
topshop glow stick0
it's officially summer so i'm making seasonal changes to my makeup bag to welcome in the warmer weather and, more importantly, to fully embrace dewy. i tend to put away the powder blushes this time of year because they just … Continue reading
Posted in blush, cheeks, editorial sample Tagged topshop Leave a comment
the bright lip8
let's not beat around the bush: my middle is swelling at an alarming rate and while i'm all for growth in the name of progress, my new size is definitely taking some getting used to. in order to feel my … Continue reading
Posted in lips Tagged face stockholm, lorac, mac, stila cosmetics, tarte, topshop 8 Comments
topshop eye gleam in winterfrost4
this might be the prettiest metallic cream shadow that i have ever laid eyes upon. the shade falls somewhere between a pearly white and a silver gray with a texture that's super smooth and easy to blend. it's ultra pigmented … Continue reading
Posted in editorial sample, eyes, lids Tagged topshop 4 Comments
a few favorites10
it's been one of those weeks where the winning beauty discoveries just did not stop coming and i've been pulling these five products out of my beauty basket almost daily since i brought them in to the glossarie test lab. … Continue reading
Posted in blush, brows, cheeks, editorial sample, eyes, face, foundation, fragrance, lips Tagged 21 drops, jouer, kinerase, physicians formula, topshop 10 Comments
lip crayon love6
* i love a good lip crayon. super easy to carry, a cinch to apply without a mirror and thanks to the narrower point, you get beautifully defined lips along with gorgeous color. pigment is often richer and more true … Continue reading
Posted in editorial sample, lips Tagged ilia, mark., nars, topshop, trish mcevoy 6 Comments
pretty gifty: under $202
got a secret santa? need a stash of stocking stuffers? one (or more!) from this bunch will brighten the day of someone on your list, without lightening the load in your wallet: 1 – a luxe lotion for $14; mark … Continue reading
Posted in pretty for a penny, pretty gifty Tagged boscia, crazylibellule and the poppies, laqa & co., lush, mark., oribe, this works, topshop 2 Comments
brand new nail candy14
sometimes i feel like there are so many fun things popping up in the nail category that i can't even keep up! i rounded up seven of the sweetest new nail products – from fresh shades to nail art tools, … Continue reading
thank you + beauty product giveaways galore!152
the allure contest winner was announced yesterday and the grand prize went to shannon of gloss & dirt. i just wanted to take a minute and thank all of you for all of your time spent voting (so much voting! … Continue reading
Posted in lara Tagged bite beauty, cargo cosmetics, physicians formula, revlon, sheswai, stephanie johnson, topshop, trish mcevoy 152 Comments
get your spring glow in a duo0
left: le metier de beaute blushing bronzed duet in romeo and juliet right: topshop sandstorm cheek duo in desert sun we are finally feeling the heat in dc this week and my mind is all-a-wander with how to get an … Continue reading
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Mishka presents a short teaser visual of its upcoming Summer 2013 lookbook. Directed and edited by Victoria Ng, the video features highlights from the soon to release collection, including shirts, T-shirts, shorts, bucket hats, caps and more.
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All of the details are not yet available, but all major news sources are now reporting that the NBA players and owners have come to an agreement to end the NBA lockout. This is obviously fantastic news for both the Hornets and NBA fans everywhere, and we will be sure to update you with information as soon as it becomes available. The deal ultimately be put to a vote, and while it can be expected that some players will vote against this new proposed deal, there shouldn't be enough of those votes to account for anywhere near a majority. So, barring completely unforeseen circumstances - the NBA is back!
One Response to "NBA Players and Owners reach tentative deal to end NBA Lockout"
Finally!! I am looking forward to your coverage of it all again.
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Surely this is a security risk?
What if a member of staff logons onto to a machine and goes walkabouts as they always do without locking it, when a kid wals up and opens SIMS and they can get access to all the info!;-)
As anybody been able to integrate Active Directory and SIMS.Net together? We've just moved to SIMS.Net and if possible would like the ability for SIMS.Net not to bring up the prompt but instead log them straight in based on their AD Credentials.
Surely this is a security risk?
What if a member of staff logons onto to a machine and goes walkabouts as they always do without locking it, when a kid wals up and opens SIMS and they can get access to all the info!;-)
Weve done this only for specific members of staff,
You need to edit your local connect.ini from C:\Program Files\SIMS\SIMS .net and add the line below.
C:\Program Files\SIMS\SIMS .net
when you start sims you can choose login with current windows user, or sims username.
Then, in sims goto system manager, select the user and change there username format to DOMAIN\USERNAME. thats it!
FN-GM (13th February 2008), greenfieldsupport (5th March 2008), joe90bass (22nd February 2008), leco (13th February 2008), robknowles (13th February 2008), soapyfish (26th May 2011), TheScarfedOne (13th December 2012), zag (14th February 2008)
Thanks PRicho that worked. I just wanted to see how it works - not sure whether we will use it yet as concerns about security (same reasons as specified in above posts). It's a shame you aren't required to type your windows username and password into the SIMS.Net logon box as an extra bit of security.
How would this work in terms of an AD user changing their password? Would you have to manually go into SIMS System Manager to change it there too or would it happen automatically?
You could put in a feature request with Capita...
if you change your password in AD it automaticly changes in sims.net, ive just tryed it my self
David Hicks
Firstly, to DSapseid. I've heard this argument used a number of times now. I've heard people say that having the extra password box 'adds an extra layer of security'.
You are right, a member of staff can walk away from their laptop without locking it. But what difference does having the extra login box make?
Staff are just as likely to leave their laptop unlocked with SIMS running as they are without it running!
They may KNOW not to leave SIMS open, but actually they should KNOW not to leave ANYTHING open!
Alternatively, even if SIMS isn't left open, they may leave their email open - which in a school environment where staff email parents, could be equally damaging in terms of data security!
The key is to teach staff to ALWAYS lock Windows. And get them to sign an agreement saying they will do so.
In fact, using Windows authentication (i.e. the removal of the SIMS username and password) will increase total security as long as staff lock laptops.
The reason for this is that you can prevent people from logging on to SIMS from another person's Windows logon. Everything can then technically be tracked back to someone's Windows logon. SIMS logon is ALWAYS tied to Windows logon.
Furthermore, you can't set password policies for SIMS, but you can for a Windows domain.
Also, passwords aren't sent unencrypted :P
Other security principles are in force with Single Sign-on:
1) The more time your user enters a password, the more likely it is to be overseen by someone else
2) The more passwords your users have, the more likely they are to write them down
In conclusion, to a layman it would seem more secure to have an extra prompt to enter a password - it would seem like an extra 'level' of protection.
In actual fact, the less thoughtful your users are, the more important it is to use Single Sign-on, flowed authentication, and the reduction of number of passwords (note: the increase in password complexity).
We use Windows Authentication for SIMS, and... it works. I don't trust anyone who says it's a risk... it's a risk not to!
bigal06 (16th December 2009), chriscubed (14th May 2009), jonwitts (11th February 2010), jumpinjamez (16th December 2009), MattGibson (4th February 2014), zag (5th March 2008)
Very good points MSI
If this is the case capita have dropped even lower in my expectations, and that *really* is saying something!! Feck me, what a terrible company! Good job they are "friends" with labour eh?
It's not like sims even has case sensitive passwords yet!
The problem is users who use crap passwords, write down their crap passwords, tell their crap passwords to other people and consider their convenience more important than keeping data secure, buffered by management who doesn't see password (and thus data) security as a big part of the teachers job and so doesn't bollock them sufficiently when said lax password security is raised as an issue.
Single sign-on doesn't help with that, multiple passwords doesn't either because I bet anyone on here £5 that at least 50% of your staff have an identical AD and SIMS password, regardless of whether you've told them not to. That password will also give you access to their online banking 30% of the time, and they'll tell you that "I use that for everything" after telling it to you accidentally.
bigal06 (16th December 2009)
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How to pick a good Ha Long Bay cruise
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First published 28th October, 2006
The first thing you need to know about Ha Long Bay is that it's beautiful and well-worth seeing.
The only real question for the traveller in Vietnam is how best to see it and, like many things in Vietnam, things are never as clear a they could be.
Travel agents who promise the earth, but fail to deliver combined with travellers whose expectations are totally unrealistic makes for a volatile Ha Long Bay cocktail.
The overwhelming majority of travellers experience a Ha Long Bay cruise via a group tour that begins and ends in Hanoi, where there's a dizzying variety of tours, with prices ranging from about US$12 a day to $70 and up per person.
Ha Long Bay is cluttered with some 500 licensed junks, and on any given day, up to 300 of them may be plying the waters -- that's basically one boat for every ten ticket offices in Hanoi!
Competition has driven prices down to absurdly low levels and as corner cutting, cheating and bare-faced lies become par for the course so do travellers leaving with a bad taste in their mouth... but it needn't be that way.
Doing your research and asking the right questions -- not just of the travel agent you're dealing with, but also other travellers you meet along the way -- can go a long way to making sure your junk ain't sunk.
So, how do you know which Ha Long Bay tour is the one for you? We'll get to that, but first, here's some background on the site.
Ha Long Bay
Ha Long Bay is a UNESCO World Heritage site -- and you'll be reminded of this several times throughout your tour. UNESCO has picked out 830 World Heritage sites around the world, chosen for their cultural and historical importance, and also for their geological uniqueness. Ha Long Bay offers a little of all three.
It's not the cliffs themselves that make Ha Long Bay unique, but rather their sheer number. A huge bay, dotted with nearly 2,000 mostly uninhabited limestone cliffs, the breathtaking scenery is very similar to that of the Andaman coast of Thailand, Vang Vieng in Laos and Guilin in China.
Created over millions of years, tectonic forces slowly thrust the limestone above the water-line. During this process waves lapping against the stone carved out a number of vast, striking caverns, as well as other geologically interesting formations, such as tunnel caves and uniquely shaped massifs. Unfortunately the geological forces at work were not too flash in the beach-making department, so most of the beaches tourists are taken to in the bay are man-made with the umbrellas and the sand in which they stand are all shipped in.
Over the ages, Vietnamese fishermen with too much time on their hands began to see shapes in the stone massifs atop many of the islands, and named the islands accordingly -- Turtle Island, Human Head Island, Chicken Island and so on. In what constitutes one of the most fascinating cultural features of the area, some of these fisherman still live on the bay today -- on floating fishing villages, where houses are set atop barges year round, the inhabitants catching and cultivating fish throughout.
So what is a Ha Long bay cruise like?
The primary purpose of a Ha Long Bay tour is to savour the tranquillity and beauty of the water. But two or three days of utter tranquillity can get a little too tranquil -- luckily the natural and cultural endowments of the bay provide activities -- in some cases with a heavy helping hand from the Vietnamese government.
They're slow
Boats ply the waters slowly and take scenic, circuitous routes. They often stop and put down their anchors while the passengers are eating lunch.
You may visit a floating village
Not all tours make a stop at a fishing village -- some just cruise by. If you do stop, you'll be able to view the seafood being farmed, have the opportunity to buy some, and have it prepared for you free-of-charge on the boat.
You'll get to swim
Every tour stops for a swim at least once a day. Sometimes these swims take place near local fishing villages, leading to jokes and apprehensions about the toilet situation on fishing villages. All tours also include a stop at one of the beaches.
You may get to kayak
All the boats bring kayaks and, weather and tides permitting, stop to let passengers paddle around. Sometimes the opportunity to kayak through one of the tunnel cave systems will present itself. Other times passengers are simply expected to paddle in circles around the boat -- not surprisingly the caves and tunnels are far more interesting.
You'll get to go caving
All tours include at least one cave visit in the price of the tour (admission on your own is 20,000 dong). The two most popular caves are the Dragon Cave and the Surprising Cave. You won't know beforehand which cave you will see -- that decision is made on the boat.
You may sleep over on the bay
Two and three-day tours always offer a night in a cabin. On any given night, about 80 boats are allowed to drop anchor in one of three designated areas -- that means each area is filled with 20 to 30 boats. Sometimes they anchor very close to one another, other times they'll find a more private spot away from other boats.
You may overnight on Cat Ba Island
Most two-day tours offer one night in a two-star hotel on Cat Ba Island. Activities including a hike in Cat Ba National Park, a kayaking trip through some offshore tunnel caves, and/or a lunchtime-visit to a local fish farm, where you catch your own fish before it is prepared for you, are usually offered as a part of the tour.
You'll be fed and transported
All tours offer three meals a day, starting with lunch on the first day and ending with lunch on the last day. The quality of the meals varies tremendously depending on the price of the tour as does the transport to and from Hanoi.
So, no matter how much or how little you pay, all of the above, at least in theory, will be included in the tour. Judging the differences between tours, then, is not so much a matter of what they do, but how well they do it -- and if they actually deliver on what they promise.
To get the skinny on the inner workings of the Ha Long Bay cocktail, we tested out three tours of Ha Long Bay -- one budget, one midrange, and a more luxurious option -- and had three very different experiences of the same bay -- read on to learn how we fared.
Next: Ha Long Bay on a budget
Story by Don Morgan
Related readingHa Long Bay conclusions
Ha Long Bay for budget-busters
Ha Long Bay for flashpackers
Ha Long Bay for backpackers
Read 20 comment(s)
We had a lot of hassle trying to book the "right" trip form Hanoi to Halong bay as we had heard about a lot of the bad experiences. To make it easier for others I would easily recomend Vega Travel. (The real one!!) It cost us $106 for the 3day 2night option so it's not very budget but it is by no means the most expencive. The company as a whole were brilliant. The focus was very much on customer satisfaction to the point of the sales guy we spoke to saying that if we have anyone on the boat over and above the 14 stated, or if anyone on the boat paid less or more for the trip to return, complain and get a refund!
We had the best few days of our trip so far and apart from the main dock (which is always going to be busy...it's a dock!!) the main bay was a lot less busy than I had come to expect. In some places we were the only boat we could see! The food was great and the rooms and crew were lovely.
I can't recomend this company enough. So if anyone is feeling as dubious about the trip as I was after reading the forums etc. I hope this helps.
Vega travel are on the corner of Ma May and Hang Bac.
Have a good trip!!
We went on 02/05/09.
Posted by Ben Turner on 7th May, 2009
Handspan Adventure Travel (www.handspan.com) based in the Tamarind Cafe in Hanoi's Old quarter on Pho Ma May were fantastic - not the cheapest, but provided an absolutely superior experience at a fantastically reasonable price. Don't miss these folks. Ensure you stay at least overnight - you'll regret it if you don't!
The fresh seafood feasts were awesome!
[btw the food at the cafe was great as well ! ;-) ]
Posted by Jet Black on 28th May, 2009
Anyone have experience with Explorer Tours. We - a family with grown daughters - are especially interested in kayaking - one daughter is an experienced sea kayaker.
Will be there beginning of Dec 2009
Posted by jankak on 19th October, 2009
Hi just back from Halong Bay. Booked an upmarket junk 3D/2N and were spoiled by the crew and food but not by the state of the Bay waters. It was full of rubbish and doubtful to swim in. Enjoyed kayaking thru the caves but the Yaks are old and bashed up plastics not to my sea kayak standard. Ha Long in a world heritage site that very soon the world will be ashamed of.I thought it was me but other forums are saying the same thing.
Posted by ross bowen on 21st October, 2009
In my trip to Halong Bay I've used two cruise companies. First was Bhaya Cruises which was a bit expensive but perfect service, buffet meals were served, cabin is luxuriously designed, hair dryer is provided upon request at the receptionist counter, crew speaks English good enough to communicate, and organized activities (which I don't like because when on holiday I want to do things at my own pace). With the lovely view of Halong Bay, you can't help but long to visit it again, so on my second cruise I went with Pinta Gold because it's cheaper for two days and one night, it only costs me $99 booked in advance. The boat is not as handsome as Bhaya but a typical Vietnamese style junk, cocktails were offered upon arrival on the boat, meals are served in Vietnamese style, around eight dishes brought to our table one by one, fruits were served after, cabin's ok with two free bottled water, kayak is fun, quite extensive paddling around three small caves, crew can't speak much English but a guide will always jump and save them for our inquiries, nice airconditioned van traveling to and from Hanoi, and the thing that I like most is I can do my things at my own pace, a bit laidback, as opposed to orgazined activities. As for rubiish yeah, I've seen some but it is expected with the hundreds of boats you'll see around.
Posted by mic2 on 22nd October, 2009
When I saw my wife and 9 year old daughter enjoying their holiday, I thought I made the right choice of cruising with Bhaya Cruise. Discover Mekong offered other choices like Hailong Junks and Emeraude but the video clippings of Bhaya I've seen in Youtube convinced me. I don't want to hassle myself with complaints from my wife and indeed I was right. I have a peaceful holiday and seeing the two of them happy was more than enough. What is $50 difference from other boats compared to the happiness you have seen in the eyes of your loved ones? I didn't hear my wife nag about unclean bed sheets, nor my daughter's "ewwww" expression every time she hears her mom rant about unhygienic surrounding. Bhaya's bed is quite soft, the toilet, and the bathroom has its own separate door. There is a telephone and little fridge inside the cabin. Bhaya employees are very friendly they took care of my daughter. My wife enjoyed the sumptuous meal they offered and the spa room is spacious that I've slept well for a 30- minute massage. I won't hesitate to recommend Bhaya Cruise, it's worth the money you'll spend for a holiday.
Posted by hasherjoe34 on 16th December, 2009
When I saw my wife and 9 year old daughter enjoying their holiday, I thought I made the right choice of cruising with Bhaya Cruise. Discover Mekong offered other choices like Hailong Junks and Emeraude but the video clippings of Bhaya I've seen in Youtube convinced me. I don't want to hassle myself with complaints from my wife and indeed I was right. I have a peaceful holiday and seeing the two of them happy was more than enough. What is $50 difference from other boats compared to the happiness you have seen in the eyes of your loved ones? I didn't hear my wife nag about unclean bed sheets, nor my daughter's "ewwww" expression every time she hears her mom rant about unhygienic surrounding. Bhaya's bed is quite soft, the toilet, and the bathroom has its own separate door. There is a telephone and little fridge inside the cabin. Bhaya employees are very friendly they took care of my daughter. My wife enjoyed the sumptuous meal they offered and the spa room is spacious that I've slept well for a 30- minute massage. I won't hesitate to recommend Bhaya Cruise, it's worth the money you'll spend for a holiday.
Posted by hasherjoe34 on 16th December, 2009
I went for a cruise to Halong Bay onboard Bhaya II, one of the best junks there in operation in mid November 2009.
Although Halong City is a three-day service bus ride from Ha Noi, passing through more cities and towns give you a feel of experience of the countryside.
There are sprouting hotels and restaurants there in that northern city but the concentration of the activity there is in the cruise. The package will cost about $300 to $100 per person, depending on the kind of services that a cruise company can offer. The area is teeming with thousands of limestone islets. The waters of Halong Bay is always calm.
I was with 39 other guests from 14 different countries on board the beautifully crafted French-inspired boat. This particular cruiser has 20 doubled-bed cabins on the first and second decks. The third deck is the dining area. The view from all around was amazing at the sun deck. Like all the other junk cruisers, we headed towards the fishing villages. The service crew prepared a sumptuous international lunch buffet. The menu was superb – seafood, vegetable salad, fresh food, cookies for the desert, chicken, beef and pork. At about 2pm, most of the guests opted to relax on the upper deck. At 3pm we were transported from the cruiser and grouped into four on the boat ride to the fishing villages. We saw the floating houses, floating schools, floating stores and all that you could imagine in a community. At 5:30pm we were invited to a cooking lesson for a local delicacy as part of the activities offered by the cruise company. Dinner was served at 7 pm. In the distance, we could hear laughter and classical music from other cruisers. After dinner, the 1992 movie classic "Indochine" was shown for the night. It introduces you to Viet Nam's social-cultural past. Set in colonial French Indochina the 1930s, the movie revolves around the story of a French plantation owner starring Catherine Deneuve and of her adopted Vietnamese daughter, played by Lin Dan Phan. This movie is a special presentation because some of the scenes were shot here in Halong Bay. At 6:30 am the next day before the 7am light breakfast, most of the guests were invited to join a master of tai chi exercise at the sundeck. But the second day's main activity was a visit to the Hang Sung Sot (literally means astonishing cave), one of the largest among the hundreds of caves in the area. After cave tour, we were served a hearty breakfast. The guests were then transported by bus back to Ha Noi.
Posted by theCATALYST on 4th January, 2010
Hi All,
I am going to Hanoi for literally 36hrs in April and was wondering does anyone know the best day trip tour to Halong bay? Ideally, I would need to be collected at my hotel in Hanoi as early as possible, and then be dropped back to Hanoi for around 6pm because I fly down to Ho chi Minh around 8pm. I am happy to cut this as close as possible but ideally the tour guide would drop me direct to the airport, asking a lot I know. Also I understand people will tell me that I am planning to do too much but its see it quickly or not all , hopefully some day I will get back and do it properly but just to be safe. Thanks for any help!
Posted by Kieran on 20th January, 2010
I was wondering does anyone know the best day trip tour to Halong bay? Ideally, I would need to be collected at my hotel in Hanoi as early as possible, and then be dropped back to Hanoi for around 7pm
Posted by graeme on 6th March, 2010
Visiting Halong Bay was among the highlights of my trip to Vietnam this time last year. Because we were staying at Hanoi Backpackers' Hostel we booked our tour through them. They offered a number of differently priced options from different tour operators but we decided to go with the tour company that they practically run & recommend. For about $80 (memory is sketchy) we got:
- comfy bus ride from Hanoi during which a Vietnamese guide with great English gave us some insight into the history & geology of Halong Bay
- canoe trip in the bay, visit to some pretty amazing caves & floating village then swimming & diving off the junk
- really good food!
- first night aboard the junk, nice room and hot shower
- second day hike on Cat Ba island
- motorbike tour of the island
- second night stay at a surprisingly posh hotel, great food again then lots of evening entertainment from the ace tour guide
- return trip to Hanoi!
I'm aware that the formulas for the trips have changed but I was always impressed by the standards delivered by Backpackers'.
People are gonna start thinking that I work for these guys but to be perfectly honest, I was such a happy camper after that trip I will recommend it to death!
Only 'negative' thing worth mentioning is that the whole tour did have quite a party atmosphere so I'm not sure how family friendly others might find it.
Posted by francesstella on 12th March, 2010
We read these comments before going to Vietnam and now we are happy to put a comment for followers.
Truly speaking, Halong Bay is remarkably beautiful with islands and people here. We had been to Phong Nha cave before so in compare with this cave, Halong bay caves are not so special. We love the rising islands from the sea and the people including staff on our boat. Their English is not so excellent as we expected before but they are very friendly and helpful. It seems that they really love aussies. It was also hard for us to choose what is the best cruise in Halong Bay, but with help from a recommended travel agent in Hanoi called Vietnam Sunrise Travel (www.vietnamsunrisetravel.com), we selected the Red Dragon Cruise. There were only 8 of us on the cruise so much space to enjoy. There are 2 Vietnamese professionals travelling with us so we learnt a lot about the Vietnamese culture and history of this land. Food is excellent and I love the fresh seafood here so much! It is different with what we got in Bangkok last month. Although my wife is kind of sea sick but she is fine this time and she loved this bay too.
Now we are in Hanoi and will fly to Hoian tomorrow. We will report our trip when we are in Hoian if possible!
Posted by Ken on 22nd April, 2010
My boyfriend and I are planning a trip to Haling Bay in July. I have been researching different tour companies for several days and am still undecided. We would like to do one night on a junk and one night on Monkey Island. We are interested in kayaking, but are concerned about the safety. My boyfriend is still recovering from a wrist injury he sustained in November, so probably won't be able to kayak for more than an hour or so. We are looking for a tour between 100-200 dollars. Could anyone recommend a reliable company that does to these two places?
Also, does anyone have any experience with a homestay?
Posted by beangirl on 3rd June, 2010
2 choices I could recommend that are worthy of a look. 1. Ecofriendly Vietnam.
2. Blue Swimmer Kayaking. Both boast enviro credentials, and are getting good reviews on Trip Advisor. Both are small and can tailor to your needs.
Cheers Ross
Posted by ross bowen on 3rd June, 2010
As you probably already know, be careful when booking a tour! Ask as many questions as possible and know exactly what you are getting yourself into. We used Sinh Cafe (pretty sure it was a "fake" one though) in the backpacker district of Hanoi and were completely ripped off- it was also the only time I was ever scared for my safety in SouthEast Asia... my fellow female traveller and I were dropped off on CatBa Island at a strange dock/port after the Halong Bay cruise with nothing else around it but a bunch of aggressive male moto drivers trying to rip us off taking us the 30 km into the town. Also at this point, the captain of our ship pretended as though he didnt speak English although he had been talking to us the whole time, and abandoned us on the island. We eventually paid too much to get into town but we would do anything to get out of a scary situation...long story short, know where you are being taken and how you are going to be taken there. We somehow found the travel agent who ripped us off when we got back to Hanoi and he barely even listened to our story before giving us or money back- He knew that he had scammed us and we had called him out. Anyways, the fast boat-bus combination is a winner and only takes about two hours to get from Hanoi to CatBa. My advice, however, go to Railay in Southern Thailand, similar but more beautiful scenery, lovely people and great food... Halong wasnt worth all the hassle that we put up with...
Posted by sunny82285 on 20th July, 2010
I'm a little late, but I went with Vega Travel (No. 24A Hang Bac Street Hanoi) in August 2009. My friend and I each paid $72 for two days one night, and thoroughly enjoyed the trip. Our guide was knowledgeable and spoke English well, the food was good (and they were good at accommodating vegetarians), the staff were friendly, and of course the bay was beautiful. We kayaked, swam, went caving, and hiked to the to of titop island.
The only negative - We had hoped to go for three days, but when we went to book the trip, they were full for the following morning, so we couldn't leave until the day after that, which only gave us two days. If your timing is tight and you want to go for three days, you may want to book in advance or have a few companies in mind.
Posted by eb on 22nd January, 2011
Thank you, Don, for the great information posted here. We're headed to Vietnam for Christmas, and your page has helped us make educated choices regarding Halong Bay. Any updated advices from you and others would be appreciated!
The Dwyer's
Posted by katia on 25th November, 2012
Helpful post for first time visitor. I have cruised in Halong three times, booking directly with operator and through agent: Agoda, Booking.com, Best Price, etc, but I found Visit Wonders always had better rate than others, even better than what the operator offered me. It was quite a surprise for me but that's the benefit of dealing with an agent. They can negotiate best price for us in such competitive environment.
Posted by Irmen on 27th December, 2012
I'll be with my sister in Hanoi in December and we would like to go to Halong bay for one day trip. As I've read all the comments, I couldn't find anyone was there just for a day. I would like to know are there any recommendations for a day trip, we wouldn't waste our time if it's not worthwhile...
Posted by ivareinwein on 30th September, 2013
The reason you don't read about one day trips to Ha Long Bay is because there isn't really enough time. Its a 4 hour trip each way.
This thread is very old and a lot has changed for the worse in Ha Long. The waters are heavily polluted with garbage thrown in the waters by some Junk operators and ground based activities. A respected world heritage area it isn't in my opinion.
Cheers Ross
Posted by ROSS BOWEN on 30th September, 2013
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Julia Child's Heirs Battle Oven Maker
By Kate Schwartz, Newser Staff
Julia Child was many things -- celebrated chef, author, TV star -- but there was one thing she certainly wasn't: a shill. "It was sort of a life philosophy that she had," explains her great-nephew.
Which is why Child never pushed a certain roast pan, a brand of olive oil, or even, notes the Los Angeles Times, cookbooks written by her own friends. And it's fueling a big stink between her heirs and Thermador, the manufacturer of the appliances she used on TV and in her home.
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Dear Fellow Economists, Stop Playing Politics
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World's Richest Woman Tells 'Jealous' Poor to Drink Less
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The LB Brief with Tabs (Paperback)
|Paperback 608 pages
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in the UK
LB Brief offers the authority and currency of its best-selling parent, The Little, Brown Handbook, in two briefer, spiral-bound formats (one with tabs and one without tabs) at affordable prices. As in its previous edition, LB Brief provides students of varying skills and interests with clear, reliable, and accessible explanations of handbook basics-the writing process, grammar and usage, and research writing. The Fourth Edition builds on the handbook's usefulness with four main emphases: (1) reading and writing across the curriculum, including an expanded chapter on academic writing, showing students how to write in response to texts, and more coverage of argument, with information on how to handle opposing views and strengthen an ethical appeal; (2) research writing, including expanded discussions on how to find and evaluate print and Web sources, and a new research-paper-in-progress; (3) up-to-date documentation guidelines, including the most recent revisions to MLA and APA documentation styles, with numerous models of new media in each style and new annotated sample sources; (4) more writing process instruction, including a new student work-in-progress and new discussions of voice in writing.
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Neurotransmitter, mood, natural mood support, vegan, vega-safe, vegetarian, 5-HTP, metabolite, L-tryptophan, serotonin, natural extract, extract, African plantbean, Griffonia simplicifolia, insomnia, jet lag, healthy, natural sleep, REM cycle, REM mode, circadian, rhythm, 5htp, 5 htp, 5-htp, "5-htp"
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UW-Eau Claire
News Bureau
Schofield Hall 218
Eau Claire, WI 54702-4004
Community Fitness Program
Offered at UW-Eau Claire
(715) 836-4741
(715) 836-2900
MAILED: Sept. 14, 1999
EAU CLAIRE A program geared toward adults looking for a regular, supervised exercise program will begin its second year Monday, Sept. 27, at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire.
The Community Fitness Program targets individuals not currently exercising, as well as those who have finished cardiac rehabilitation programs at the local hospitals but are not exercising independently.
The program will be open from 6 a.m. to 8 a.m. Monday, Wednesday and Friday through the fall semester on the indoor track in the Olson Addition of McPhee Physical Education Center. During the sessions, participants typically will walk for the endurance workout, but they may also jog, swim, ride a stationary bicycle or use a stair climber. The program includes components of strength and flexibility, as well as education on beginning exercise sensibly and the benefits to expect from regular exercise workouts.
Dr. Don Bredle, assistant professor of kinesiology and athletics, and local physician Dr. Lou Frase will supervise the program. Kinesiology students lead the exercise sessions, log the workouts and help monitor the participants' blood pressures and heart rates.
The program is open to the community as well as faculty and staff of UW-Eau Claire. The $75 fee for the program includes an entry assessment with a medical history questionnaire, appraisal of current fitness level, goal setting, a T-shirt and use of the McPhee weight room.
Those interested in the program should contact Bredle at (715) 836-3953 or e-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.com.
[Administrative Offices]
[News Bureau]
Janice B. Wisner
UW-Eau Claire News Bureau
Schofield 218
(715) 836-4741
Updated: Sept. 14, 1999


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Richard Branson Stops Partying for Five Minutes to Chide Marissa Mayer
Chief Yahoo Marissa Mayer recently ruled that there will be no more working remotely for the company's thousands of employees. (Scuttlebutt suggests the decision was due to slacking and flakiness.) Well, it seems word has now trickled out to Sir Richard Branson, founder of Virgin Group and prominent Caribbean island owner, and he does not approve. Read More


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Database of Cease & Desist Notices
Chilling Effects is a joint site from the Electronic Frontier Foundation and several academic institutions which "aims to help you understand the protections that the First Amendment and intellectual property laws give to your online activities"
One of their projects is the development of a database of Cease & Desist notices. They are inviting users to submit notices that they may have received.
Source: AbsTracked


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The Best Body Language for Any Situation
Learn how to express yourself physically in important scenarios
By Annie Finnigan
SCENARIO #1: The First Date
Here's how to make sure it goes welland how to tell if it's not.
DOS AND DON'TS: As the two of you talk, lean slightly forward and tilt your head a bit. It shows that you're approachable and interested in what he has to say. Things not to do: rubbing your arm or knee (a sign of discomfort) and double-crossing your legs at the knee and ankles (a sign of being closed off).
CRACK THE BODY CODE: A man who likes you will mirror you, says Joe Navarro, a former FBI agent turned nonverbal communication expert and author of What Every Body Is Saying. Translation: He doesn't crush your hand when you grasp his lightly, bellow when you're talking softly, or tilt back when you're leaning forward. And if he meets your gaze, leans forward and touches your arm occasionally, then he's having a good time. However, if he's touching his face a lot (running his hand through his hair, stroking his beard) and not looking at you, it means he's more into himself than you, says John Gottman, PhD, emeritus professor of psychology at the University of Washington and cofounder of The Gottman Institute, who has studied body language in his research on marriage and relationships.


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Big Brother is watching you wake up with the spy camera alarm clock
Not to be outdone by the spy camera desktop printing calculator, Spy Techs has this seemingly normal clock radio available for $500. What makes the radio so expensive is the included and hidden black and white spy camera. The clock radio functions as a normal clock radio, but on the back hidden behind a standard clock radio warning label is the power and recording lights as well as a SD memory slot and video output jack. It records 320x240 resolution video in the MPEG-4 format at 30fps. It includes a motion sensor and records everything onto SD memory cards. It would be great on keeping an eye on that significant other for signs of tom foolery or other activities. A full color recording model is also available for an additional $100.


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Cubs pitcher Chris Volstad earns praise
BY GORDON WITTENMYER firstname.lastname@example.com February 22, 2012 8:58PM
Chris Volstad is a power pitcher with a 6-8 frame. "The kid's a beast out there," Cubs pitching coach Chris Bosio said. | Morry Gash~AP
Updated: March 24, 2012 9:08AM
MESA, Ariz. — The Cubs wasted little time deciding not to retire Carlos Zambrano's number.
With the ink still wet on the $15.3 million check the Cubs sent to the Miami Marlins to take the problem-child pitcher, the club gave his No. 38 to non-roster backup catcher candidate Jason Jaramillo.
Just as quickly, Big Z's locker stall went from one of the most active media spots in the Fitch Park clubhouse to one of the quietest. Mild-mannered veteran pitcher Trever Miller moved in.
The player who will be most linked to Zambrano is 6-8 right-hander Chris Volstad, the 25-year-old first-round pick the Marlins sent to the Cubs. But he isn't thinking about filling Z's shoes.
''Yeah, he was a big presence. He'd been around here for a while,'' Volstad said. ''But I just think about me coming in and trying to help this team. This is the situation we have.''
It's a situation the new Cubs' regime welcomes, and not only because of the addition-by-subtraction factor.
In Volstad, the Cubs see a power pitcher whose potential barely has been tapped in 31/2 seasons with his hometown Marlins.
''The upside of this guy is phenomenal,'' pitching coach Chris Bosio said. ''Being able to find young pitchers with that kind of size and that kind of stuff, that's a needle in a haystack. The kid's a beast out there. And he does fill up a doorway walking through a room.''
So what happened last season, when he went 5-13 with a 4.89 ERA? And why hasn't he been able to recreate the success he had during a 14-start big-league debut in 2008, when he went 6-4 with a 2.88 ERA?
Volstad doesn't have a big, sweeping answer to cover that. While he downplays the pressure of being a first-round pick as a factor, he said a once-effective curveball he got away from using could be part of it. He also said a change of scenery could help.
''I definitely don't think I've pitched to my ability,'' said Volstad, who has been one of Bosio's most serious students in camp. ''I think I've shown flashes of it, games here and there, and maybe a little streak here and there. But I haven't put a whole season together yet, and I really think I can.''
Said manager Dale Sveum: ''I think we just forget that the guy got to the big leagues really young, didn't pitch a whole lot [in the minors] and has had to learn at the big-league level.''
Despite having an imposing frame similar to Zambrano's and borrowing Zambrano's annual tradition of seeking a new start, Volstad seems nothing like Big Z. He's almost conspicuously quiet, focused and keeps what Bosio calls an ''internal burn'' to himself.
''This kid's got a big arm, a lot of potential,'' Bosio said. ''Hey, we traded a guy that's 40 games over .500 for this kid. Chris can only control what Chris can do. Right now, I'm very happy with where he's at in spring and the way he's going about his work. I can only imagine what the capabilities of his stuff are if we're able to harness that.''


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The Flyest Mad Rapper around, this G is always spittin' mad lyrics! Costume includes a yellow PVC suit with a hooded pullover jacket that has an elastic waistband, pants with elastic cuffs & waist, both with black stripe accents, and a matching rapper style cap with black elastic band. 3-piece set. Polyester. Dry clean only.
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Title: Bought for boyfriend
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Love ALI G, so I thought I would buy it for my boyfriend, and he loves it. Can't wait for Halloween!
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115,211pages on
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- "…rotate the bacta tanks, no one gets more than ten minutes…
…keep that field going, even if you have to hand-crank it…
…Get a pressor on that, stat!"
- ―Inside a surgical ward
Doctor (abbreviated Dr.) was a title used by physicians and the holders of certain advanced university degrees.
Some doctors, such as the homicidal Cornelius Evazan or the apathetic Dhagon Ghent, were of questionable integrity.
Doctor was also a title for a class of specially-trained Gungans knowledgeable in the treatment of injuries and application of herbal remedies.
- Star Wars Campaign Pack
- Galaxy Guide 1: A New Hope
- Galaxy Guide 2: Yavin and Bespin
- Cracken's Rebel Field Guide
- Galaxy Guide 2: Yavin and Bespin, Second Edition
- Heroes & Rogues
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See alsoEdit
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Do You Suffer From Fragile Writer Ego?
Guest on May 03 2014 | Filed under: Inspirations, Writing life
Please welcome Judy Mollen Walters to Writer Unboxed. Seventeen years ago, after her stint as an editor in nonfiction book publishing, Judy became a stay-at-home mother to her two daughters. Her first book, Child of Mine, came out in March 2013; her second book, The Opposite of Normal, came out in February of this year.
Of her post today, Judy says, "I've always been convinced that as writers we share a unique kind of fragile ego, regardless of where we are in our writing careers—trying to get an agent or publisher, first book being published, hanging onto the midlist, or even when we are blockbuster best sellers. But I was never able to pinpoint how I knew we were all more alike than different until I experienced first hand the struggling writer's ego in two very high-profile, successful authors. As writers, we should all be a little kinder to each other, and acknowledge that first we are human. I'm hoping this article will ignite a conversation among authors about this topic and that we can all come together and support each other."
Connect with Judy on her blog, on Facebook, and on Twitter.
Do You Suffer From Fragile Writer Ego?
A while back, I was in the audience at an author event. The author was a New York Times bestselling commercial writer, a wonderful speaker—witty and full of fun publishing facts. I was having a great time until she made a snarky comment about EL James, the author of the Fifty Shades series.
A few months later, I was back at the same venue listening to another NYT bestselling author, this time of a more literary style of fiction. I was having a great time, hearing her explain the research behind her book, until she snarked on that commercial fiction writer I'd heard a few months before!
I thought about the two experiences for a while, kind of disgusted, and then realized that they were linked by more than just coincidence. Both of these authors, big names, very successful, must have what I've coined the fragile writer ego. Now that I'd seen it exhibited by two big name authors, I realize that no matter how successful, every writer must have it.
I know I have the fragile writer ego, but I figured that was pretty normal for a not so seasoned author just bringing her first or second book out. I spent a long time writing novels that were not good enough to publish and almost as much time finding a literary agent. When I finally published my debut, I worried about how it would be received. Was it really good enough to publish? Would people really think it was good enough to see the light of day?
Even after it got good—some great—reviews, and people said positive things, I was still pretty sure it might not be that good. Maybe they were just saying those things to be nice. They couldn't actually like it, could they?
As writers, we have complicated egos. We can feel confident in other areas of our lives: maybe we know we're parenting well, or we have other jobs we get kudos for, or we can make a mean mac and cheese or are the Grillmaster of the neighborhood. But when it comes to our writing, we're just.not.that.sure.
We need continued reminding that we're doing it right. For some, this is the validation of an agent or an editor, or strong sales. For others, it's the sweet emails from readers who say they couldn't put the book down, or the royalty check—no matter how small—that we acknowledge was earned on our words alone. And I suppose that even after you've "made it," even after you've reached bestseller status or people clamor to have you speak at their events, you continue to have that pesky fragility. You still wonder: Is this book—my first or third or tenth—is it really, truly good enough? And sometimes you let it slip—like these authors did, the way they did—that you are really insecure, like everyone else.
I think the commercial author might have felt insecure that an unknown writer like EL James, with no writing background, no agent, no anything, really, could come in and do what she did with her series whereas the commercial author worked and clamored and fought her way up. And I think the literary author might have the feeling that the commercial author was more well-known, selling more books than she was, and that might have made her feel insecure.
What these experiences did was make me feel that I'm not so different than any other writer. The big successes and those just starting out. The literary and the commercial. The women and the men. We all just want recognition that we're on the right path–that our writing is meaningful to someone else, however we define meaningful.
So to all authors I say: Be kind to yourselves. Keep going. Ignore your writer fragile ego as best you can. Find people to validate you. Find happiness in the small moments when the writing seems on target. And believe.
In what ways are you a fragile author? What do you do to help ignore the feelings of fragility when they start clamoring for your attention?
31 Responses to "Do You Suffer From Fragile Writer Ego?"
My little envies, my moments of schadenfreude, should be private - and make me ashamed of myself.
I agree with you about the 'fragile ego' - any reasonable writer should continue to have it, because, to some extent, we're only as good as our last effort.
What you're seeing is a result of a 'scarcity model': if there's only so much to go around, someone else's success takes away from the possibility of yours. And, unfortunately, measured in money and shelf space in bookstores, it is true.
It is silly, though, to envy someone success when their readers are different from the people who would like your books. If you're hoping that readers who like 50 Shades would switch to liking your literary novel, it isn't going to happen. Those people are more likely to read less if they don't find the kind of books they like.
Kindness to other writers should be the goal, instead, and it's the impulse that leads to the wonderful blogs with advice that can be had just for reading. By anyone.
If you are objectively better, and people prefer your books, great - be gracious. Putting other writers down is not the way to get more readers. Not the kind of readers you want. Improving your own writing is. If you don't like how someone else writes, don't do it that way. Putting other writers down just shows your own insecurities.
Thanks for this, Judy. In the space of a week (maybe even a couple days) I've jumped around on the confidence scale. At this moment I find myself on the lower half. Some people can't put it down, others apparently can. :) Trying not to question everything and simply move on and put all my itching editing fingers into a new project rather than trying to please everyone with the old. I'm sorry to hear this will not improve with time and successes. ;)
I simply recall in my heart what inspired me to begin the journey in the first place. I do not have a definition of success that reaches beyond that vision of offering a legacy of love for my family and my Heavenly Father. If that inspires others to carry my legacy into broader circles to encourage and inspire others, then my dream will blessed beyond the vision that launched the first stroke on the keyboard. It may seem over simplified or idealistic, but it keeps my feet on the ground when I feel out of my league. Then I remember back to sermons I have delivered in the past, my best in my mind often got little attention; the worst in mind often got the most responses. When we expose our fragility to others we often connect in ways beyond our understanding.
I like this post a lot, Judy. And you are right that we have to maintain ourselves as writers recognizing our skills and talents as they grow. Being a writer is a life, not just a book or a ranking on the best seller list. I feel insecurity too sometimes. I'd like to meet a real writer who doesn't have those pangs at times. Your advice to ignore the fragility of the ego is a good one. Doubt is just a detour over rocky terrain. Get back on track and keep running on your own path.
Believe me, it's been quite a struggle to get to where I am now, but I have no writer ego. My sense of self-worth doesn't depend on my success as a writer (which is good because I'm just starting out), nor on any of my personal achievements.
Is the novel I'm trying to get published good enough? Sometimes I think it is, sometimes I don't. What never changes is that I believe in it because it is part of me, it contains something that I believe to be ultimately true, and no matter how well or how badly it does in the publishing world, it's valuable to me, and to a few other people who were kind enough to be my betareaders.
Every novel I write will help me to improve and develop. I'm my only competition and other people's successes or failures don't make me a better or worse writer.
The problem with living in a competitive world is that we've been raised to constantly compare ourselves with others and to judge ourselves by our achievements, because that's how we are judged by society.
Great post, Judy.
In an industry were measuring success is precarious (is it writing 'the end,' requests for fulls, an agent, publishing contracts, best seller lists?), I choose to revel in the journey instead of the illusion of destination.
The best way for me to do this is to cuddle up with other writers, ones who provide love and support, and to be open-minded, willing to absorb what each and every one has to teach me. This includes writer's I've never met. I learn from everything I read.
Human first. Writer second.
Congrats on your recent publications, and kudos to you for enjoying the ride. :)
Denise Willson
Author of A Keeper's Truth and GOT
No one is a fan of rejection, insults, nor ridicule. Fortunately for me, my ego is permanently fractured.
Nope, I don't ignore it. I cope with it. Hell, I'm scared right now. Confident in other areas, yeah, I don't think so, plenty of doubt there too. Moments of fearlessness creep in and out of my life at best. In general, my confidence is 50-80%.
It would be totally kickass if people would be a little kinder to one another, but for that to happen, people have to like themselves a little more, be willing to accept rejection, and respond appropriately to their feelings of envy. For example, I'm envious of so many people here on Writer Unboxed, but instead of rejecting them I FOLLOW them. I attempt to learn from those I'm jealous of; because they have something I want. Plus, it's my only real justification for my Fanboy Stalker Habits.
I'm very humble, but, then again, I have much to be humble about.
Maybe it's just "you say tomato, I say tomahto," but the examples you present (two writers' snarky potshots at other writers) don't strike me as resulting from fragile egos. I see them as expressions of resentment over success perceived as undeserved. You can argue with someone's opinion on the issue, but that's another matter. As for Fifty Shades of Gray, my own "snarky" reaction has less to do with the writer or the book than with readers. Contemplating how many thousands of hours of human consciousness have been frittered away in reading the book is depressing to me--and it has nothing to do with my writer's ego.
But: reading anything at all--including FSOG--is definitely one of the better forms of frittering.
Yes, I think the snarki-ness has to do with certain types of writers thinking that other kinds of writers are beneath them, and that the readers of the books written by those writers are simple minded.
Commercial writers think the indie writers are amateurish. Literary writers think that the commercial writers produce mind numbing pulp. I don't know what the indie writers think of it all.
Thank you all for your comments! I'm enjoying reading them, and all of your own unique points of view. I, too, wonder what "success" in this business is. If two NYT best selling authors can feel threatened by two other writers, (in my opinion as a result of fragile egos) when can we feel good about our successes and even okay about our failures?
Terrific post, Judy. As as writer, I find I tread a fine line between confidence and a belief that my work is never good enough.The trick is to acknowledge your shortcomings without letting it erode your self-confidence. One of my writer colleagues has self-published two fantastic novels and I feel for him because I believe his writing is better than a lot of traditionally published stuff. However, I would never say that publicly in a way that demeans traditionally published authors. Writers have a responsibility to not only promote their own work but to honor other writers and to use discretion in levying criticism of others' work. As JFK said, "A rising tide lifts all boats."
Thank you, Judy, for writing about one of the industry's nasty little not so secrets. I, too, have seen successful authors make snide remarks about fellow writers and it always makes my skin crawl. This writing life is hard enough on the emotions and self esteem without writers tearing down one another. I have encountered far too many persons involved with various parts of publishing who feel it is their right to be rude, condescending, and self important. My grandmother would have said that form of behavior is a sign of low breeding, but that is another topic and a different century. For our present day, being mean has become a way of life, or at least the way to get a laugh, for some people. Sad, but inescapable. Since going it alone makes one terribly vulnerable in a very tough world, it only makes sense that authors should at least be respectful of one another. If one cannot say something nice, one should not comment covers it well, in my opinion.
I'm just so grateful I've actually written books. The rest is gravy. When I start to go into that place of ego, I automatically push away gratitude. It's a challenge, but it's a simple concept: being grateful for our gifts and celebrating others for theirs.
As usual, you are the voice of inspiration! Thank you for pointing out that we all feel out of the game some of the time. I'm so glad to know you :)
I had to turn down a thriller writer who wanted me to blurb her book. I told her it wasn't ready for primetime and needed a lot of work. She took it badly and I felt awful because I know how much rejection hurts. But on the other hand, honesty is critical between writers. You can't improve someone's work without pointing out the rough spots. Not in a snarky way, but with generosity. As as for fragility during the writing process, I have a little steel box where I lock self-doubt up and I've developed a strong sense of patience to keep me calm when I confront a seemingly impossible writing challenge. I always find a way through, just may take a while.
If you've ever had a taste of Fifty Shades of Grey, it's very difficult not to be snarky. Not every criticism is motivated by the Green Eyed Monster. That speaker could also have been snarking out of pure despair at the crushing reality that quality has nothing to do with popularity.
Most people have fragile egos, regardless of their profession. Writers aren't necessarily more fragile than average, but they have to be less fragile than average to survive. Publishing your writing is like standing on a stage in the middle of downtown, naked, next to a giant crate of complimentary rotten eggs with a neon sign blinking "Have at me!"
In writing the stakes are high and the standards are skewed. If your book isn't the best book in the world, a hundred people will call it the worst book they've ever read. If your book is the best book in the world, a million people will call it the worst book they've ever read. If you've published anything in your lifetime, someone somewhere has snarked about how stupid and talentless you are.
Fact: your books will never, ever be "good enough." People will always hate you for some reason or another. So why worry about them?
Bravo, Judy. I KNOW I suffer from Fragile Writer's Ego and do best when I try to remember what I mom taught me: if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. :)
Am I fragile?
Oh, yeah.
What do I do about these feelings?
I own my writing career. My goal is to be picked by a publisher. And so I could jump up and down in that school yard--yelling and waving my arms wildly in the air. But instead I practice whacking the ball (I write) and running the bases (submit my writing). I control what I can control and trust that my hard work will eventually pay off. Instead of comparing myself to others, I celebrate (and promote--through my blog) their successes--because they are leading the way.
I can relate to this post. It gets addictive, the need for validation.
And for me, the answer's simple: I need to concentrate on being a writer, and on writing things I would want to read, and on helping other people get their writing out, and on promoting my writing a little once it's done. That's all that's in my control. If I start thinking about whether or not I've gotten enough praise, or sales, or respect, I'll get worked up, because there will never be enough to fill the God-sized hole in me.
Sure, it'd be nice to win a Nobel or a Pulitzer, or even just to pay all my bills with my writing. But all of that is COMPLETELY beyond my control. And getting worked up over things that are outside my control is a surefire recipe for frustration. Even putting the cart before the horse--checking sales before I write, or promoting before I write--leaves me unhappy. (And plenty of authors who had all the things I think I'd have wanted either killed themselves or drank themselves to death.)
But I have found some happiness as a writer, and a bit of reprieve from the ego: I write as early as possible in the day, and if I have extra time, I promote my writing and help other people with theirs. And at the end of the day, even if I haven't done quite as much as my unrealistic hopes would suggest, I cut myself some slack, wind down, and read, and get ready for the next day. And I try to praise other people's work publicly when it's warranted, and give negative feedback in private when it's necessary. And I try to be grateful for every bit of feedback I get in turn, because frankly, what we do--putting little marks on a piece of paper or a screen, and having other people read those marks and make movies in their head--is magical.
Artistic jealousy is an ugly, unproductive, often counterproductive monster. So what if that latest zombi melodrama appeals to the unenlightened, sleepwalking masses. Preaching to the choir. So what if only a narrow niche audience acclaims a sophisticated many-layered irony commentary about popularity pageantry's amoral complications, Those outcomes are a direct result of their respective writer's choices. So yee sow, so shall yee reap.
Uncalled-for negative evaluation most disturbs my mellow. My narrative on the hot seat doesn't meet workshop audience expectations. Okay. How many times I have heard a workshop comment that this is not my usual reading genre so I'm not its audience and it doesn't work, for me or anyone, in my opinion, on even the most basic story crafting level.
Phhbt! Not even an iota of effort made to evaluate the narrative's craft strengths or shortcomings, nor offer guidance in the first and only role of workshopping writing: enhancing expression strength, clarity, and target audience appeal.
Flat rejection with only negative evaluation and personal sensibility and sentiment negativity at that. All the commenter really said is why do you write this trash. You should write what I like, the way I write. So we are all in lockstep assemblyline conformity to my capricious and fickle tastes and sensibilities.
Come on. Comment, then, on story craft, not on genre, dammit, I want to scream.
Ante or post publication critics --- some lay on the astroturf a little too generously; some lay on the artistic jealousy too heavily, though artfully veiled by emotional-political argumentation appeal (ad hominem fallacy); some rare few find a sincere, warranted, critical proportion of constructive criticism. I pay attention to them all, most weight to the latter. Otherwise, I silently criticize their critical analysis skills. That for me makes all the difference for fracturing or mending my disintegratable identity.
I like this:
"Be kind to yourselves. Keep going. Ignore your writer fragile ego as best you can. Find people to validate you. Find happiness in the small moments when the writing seems on target. And believe."
Thanks for this post reminding us to be kind, not only to others but to ourselves. I need the second reminder plastered someplace prominent so that my subconscious can help soothe my fragile writer's ego :)
As the day is ending, I thank all of you for reading, for commenting, for passing along via social media, for connecting with me...I hope the conversation continues! I love to hear the different viewpoints on this, and any other writerly topics.
Funny--people were snarky on EL James just this weekend at a conference I went to. Haven't read her stuff, but I hope her ego can say "oh yeah? Millions of fans disagree." I know when I publish, through whatever means, I will feel fragile. Art is hard. And today we seem to think the art IS the artist: If we don't like the art, we don't like the artist.
This is me. I write fanfic. I have posted 1.5m words in fanfic. Well plotted, epics that people tell me they adore and reread constantly. What you described is exactly what I do with my original stuff. With fanfic, it matters less to my mind (which makes no sense, I know) but I think, if I post it and it's got a mistake, someone will tell me and I can fix it. And I don't think like that about my OF. And seeing as how I do Ebooks, it CAN be fixed, or edited or updated... it's my *head* that is the issue.
(Or, do I discount it as 'only fanfic'? I'm not sure.)
So I write more OF's and then I panic - it's not perfect! I see all kinds of tropes - vampires and werewolves are SO last year - and I meddle with it and I add another character, or I add sex, or I add a bad guy and I often end up wrecking it, or hating what the story has become (because I have lost the initial spark) and I put it aside.
And then I have a new, shiny idea that excites me and I start writing that.
And then I do it all over again.
And I end up with a dozen unfinished things that I beat myself up over because I haven't finished them.
And then I write more fanfic because it's easier to play in someone else's sandbox than build your own, and it's safe and people like me there.
I say I want to earn money from writing and I gave myself a couple of years of not working to do it. But my time is running out and if I don't get some paying stuff out there, I can't support myself or my kids.
I was amazed to see some of my free e-books listed on Goodreads. But they were credited to the wrong author, so I had to step up and claim my stuff. I am now a listed Goodreads author and that is... no, I can't describe it. It blows my mind.
I read a lot and I see printed stories that are bad, or have spelling mistakes or the MC is such a mary sue and they are printed and out there and people paid money for them. WHY do I do think mine isn't good enough? why do I do this to myself?
I have my moments of FWE. Most of the time it's focused inward, as in, "Why can't I get more readers?", rather than, "why does Other Author get so many more readers than I do?"
It might be because I can see all my shortcomings, but can't always see the shortcomings of others. (While the lesson (intellectually) learned is, "don't broadcast all your shortcomings and you'll appear more confident", the heart doesn't listen at all and whines away in a dark corner.)
It's hard to keep the ol' stiff upper lip in the face of an unpredictable and seemingly random industry.
Amen to this. I don't know if it's ego or what but snarkiness just isn't classy. Even if I don't ready EL James' books it doesn't matter. It is how it is.
I've always thought, the more great books the better, for readers and for writers. I think what you're writing about touches on a certain snobbishness in the literary world. People think that quality writing means something and is perhaps at a disconnect with so-called genre writing. It's easy to put down the EL James' or [insert other name]--not only because they're successful, but because they don't write seriously--whatever that means. Only when we admit that story has value unto itself, and can take all different forms, can a writer's ego really feel secure.
Your title drew me in right away. It is good to know it is a widespread disease but it would be even better to know how to lose this fragility. I am very confident in my day job. With my writing, I'd prefer no one even knew it was me. Art is mysterious.
Ah, refreshing to know that even successful authors can still have fragile writer's ego! But this is also a bit depressing, too. As a new indie author, I have faced a great deal of ups and downs over the past year with the release of my debut title.
I look back now and marvel at how easily I fell from the complete high of a reader's gushing, loving praise of my work to, within hours, the dark depths of despair over an unkind review. Such a seesaw of confidence and emotions.
What helps me now is keeping in mind that all reading material is subjective to the intellect and interest of the reader. I put out what is meaningful to me, in the best form I can. What the reader brings into the book with them is out of my control.


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BankUnited Closes On $3 Million Loan To Derecktor Of Florida For Purchase Of World's Tallest Mobile Boat Hoist
BankUnited announced it closed a $3,050,000 loan to Derecktor of Florida for the acquisition and installation of a revolutionary new boat lift system that is expected to have a positive, economic ripple effect on the South Florida community, and the marine industry in particular, according to BankUnited Chairman, President and CEO John Kanas.
Derecktor's acquisition of a new 820 metric-ton mobile boat lift – the largest mobile unit of its type in Florida and the world's tallest, able to accommodate vessels nearly 200 feet in length – will increase the number of large vessels that can be worked on simultaneously at its Dania Beach shipyard from three to a minimum of eight.
"With this new mobile boat hoist more than doubling Derecktor's existing capacity to service mega-yachts at its Dania Beach shipyard, Derecktor is renewing its status as the preeminent service destination for the world's mega-yacht community, and providing a significant boost to South Florida's economically vital marine industry," said Kanas.
Derecktor CFO Kenneth Fisher expects this expanded capacity will boost company revenues by 30 percent or more, and will have a positive spillover effect on the subcontractors with whom Derecktor does business. As a result, Fisher noted that Derecktor expects to hire approximately 40 new employees over the course of the first year, including 10 new employees immediately to accommodate operation of the new lift.The Derecktor deal is part of BankUnited's new secured equipment lending service. BankUnited lending officers involved in the deal were Paul Beliveau, secured equipment lending officer, and Sandra Mayor, business banker representing the deal. The lift, fabricated by Cimolai Technology in Italy, is located on the Derecktor Shipyard, 775 Taylor Road, Dania Beach. BankUnited (NYSE: BKU), headquartered in Miami Lakes, Fla., provides a wide range of commercial and consumer banking services to businesses and consumers in 15 Florida counties through more than 95 branches. For additional information, call (877) 779-2265 or visit www.BankUnited.com. About Derecktor of Florida Derecktor of Florida, a full-service facility catering to mega-yachts, opened in South Florida in 1967 and is situated on 17 acres adjacent to the Dania Cut-Off Canal, within one mile of Port Everglades and minutes from Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport. For more information about Derecktor contact James Brewer, director of business development, at email@example.com.
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Great Expectations
2hr 08mins
Starring: Jeremy Irvine, Helena Bonham Carter, Ralph Fiennes, Jason Flemyng, Robbie Coltrane, Holliday Grainger, Ewen Bremner, Olly Alexander, Sally Hawkins, David Walliams, Tamzin Outhwaite, Jessie Cave
Directed by: Mike Newell
The plot: As a boy, orphan Pip has a disturbing encounter with escaped convict Magwitch in the marshes close to the home he shares with his haughty sister and her husband Joe. Soon after, the boy is dispatched to visit the reclusive Miss Havisham, who requires a playmate for her ward, Estella. At first, Pip is scared of Miss Havisham but once the boy meets Estella, fear is replaced by infatuation and he falls under the spell of the girl, who has been raised "to wreak revenge on all men".
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Man caught on camera stealing iPhones from Macomb Township store
Updated On: Apr 03 2013 07:02:13 AM EDT
Surveillance cameras at a Macomb Township cell phone store caught a man stealing two iPhones right of the wall.
Video shows a man walking into the AT&T store in the 20000 block of Hall Road Friday evening and looking around the iPhone display.
Video then shows the man grabbing the iPhones and running out the door.
Anyone with information on the man in the video is asked to call the Macomb County Sheriff Department at 586-307-9412.
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Ducati's very own North American brand manager Arrick Maurice is the owner of this Italian masterpiece. Custom features include a noticeable weight reduction, anodized black Ohlins forks, and Speedymoto triple clamps among a host of other things. The motorcycle comes finished in a sleek jet black with a contrasting gold paint job.
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Photo #: 80-G-652604
Navy and Marine Corps Reserve Training Center,
Trenton, New Jersey
Dedication of the bell from USS Lawrence (DD-250) at the Reserve Training Center, 2 October 1954.
Those present in the photograph include (from left to right):
Electronics Technician 3rd Class R.F. Gilton, USNR;
Dr. H.H. Bisbee, of Burlington, N.J.;
Mr. Anthony Greski, Mayor of Burlington, N.J.;
Lieutenant Commander C.W. Summers, USN, Commanding Officer of the Reserve Training Center;
Chief Yeoman C.W. Green, USNR, Senior Stationkeeper; and
Sergeant H.L. Pancost, USMCR.
Official U.S. Navy Photograph, now in the collections of the National Archives.
Online Image: 126KB; 740 x 615 pixels
Reproductions of this image may also be available through the National Archives photographic reproduction system.
Click on the small photograph to prompt a larger view of the same image.
If you want higher resolution reproductions than this digital image, see: "How to Obtain Photographic Reproductions."
10 March 2003


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- $12.50
- Now: $6.25
Sweet and supportive, our Solid Soft Cup Bra features lightly padded cups, adjustable straps and an easy-breezy pull-on design. This smooth style is perfect under any of our graphic tees, tanks or cozy sweaters!
Style: 9976. Imported.
95% cotton, 5% spandex.
Machine wash/dry.
Style: 9976. Imported.
95% cotton, 5% spandex.
Machine wash/dry.
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REVIEW SNAPSHOT®by PowerReviews
PS from Aero 1012328Kids' Solid Soft Cup Bra
Reviewed by 1 customer
(4 of 4 customers found this review helpful)
nice material
- Comfortable
Best Uses
- Casual Wear
Comments about PS from Aero 1012328 Kids' Solid Soft Cup Bra:
I bought this for my 13 year old granddaughter. Very nice material but too big. I got a size 10 since she wears a 10/12 top but this was way too big for her, more like a 14/16.
- Was this a gift?:
- No
Bottom Line Yes, I would recommend this to a friend
(4 of 4 customers found this review helpful)
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