text:
Inclusion on this web page does not imply CMNC endorsement
- Obtaining Music -
Strings | Winds | Piano | Workshops/Organizations
Publishers | Sheet Music Stores | Printable Music/MIDI
Recorded Music | Software | Online Lessons/Tools
Research Resources | Online Articles | Health
Other (air travel, insurance, misc) | Scherzi
Local Links
Mo-Yr = New Listing added
.PDF files which can be downloaded, viewed or printed
Free downloads
IMSLP - International Music Score Library Project 12-06
Editions in the public domain in Canada
("copyright persists for the composer or other author (if any) for 50 years after his/her death.")
They are starting to offer recordings as well.
Suggestion: use a search engine, look for imslp composer piece, ex: imslp brahms sextet op 36
Clarinet Institute Sheet Music Archives 1-10
Collections of music for winds, plus string quartets and quintets--.pdf's on DVD's
ScorSer 6-10
Searches several sites for free pdfs, midis, etc
Fee or Paid Membership Required
but more likely to have chamber music parts
Virtual Sheet Music 2-08
EveryNote.com 2-08
Library Music Source 6-10
individual parts and pieces from CD Sheet Music and Orchestral Musician
http://www.musicaneo.com/ 11-11
fee and free. Many uploaders, so some pieces duplicated.
WorldCat - World's Largest Library Catalog
Find which library has the music you want
San Francisco Public Library
Music Center: 415-557-4525
Oakland Public Library
Information Desk: 510-238-3134
OPL's Chamber Music Collection
Stanford Music Library (SULAIR)
Music Library Circulation Desk: 650-723-1211
Reference: 650-723-1212
Berkeley Public Library
Hutchins & Rea
Sheet Music Plus
Shar - string sheet music dealer
YouTube 12-09
Great resource - search for youtube plus composer and piece, ex. youtube brahms op 18
Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum - free MP3's
ClassicalConnect - free classical music online 5-10
Amazon - Chamber Music MP3's
All Music - Chamber Music 3-14
Use its Search for specific piece or composer, read background information and recordings
earsense 2-10
chamber music articles/program notes, "chamberbase" of 140+ composers, search by composer or work
Newsletter Gem: Preparing for a workshop 4-14
Extensive list of measure numbers (pdf) 3-10
Total number of measures for each movement of many chamber works
An open letter: Prepare for your Chamber Coaching 11-12
by David Finckel and Wu Han: editions, markings, rehearsing, much more
String Identifier - based on winding colors -- Quinn
String Colour Charts - pdf - The Sound Post 5-08
String Identifier - table, sound description below 4-07
Violinist.com Guide to Choosing Violin Strings
GoStrings - strings, cases, accessories 8-10
Ifshin - supplies, makers, repairs - El Cerrito, CA
Shar - strings and sheet music dealer
Southwest Strings - supplies, instruments 3-08
Strings Magazine - All Things Strings - includes articles 9-06
Strad - News, Blogs, Directories - also articles and issues for subscribers 3-11
Pro Am Strings - educational videos for violin and viola players - subscription 11-14
Viola.com - includes signup for viola email list
Alto Clef and Other Music Drills Requires Java
Alto Clef for Violinists (pdf)
The Viola Chin Pressure Monitor 2-08
Absolute Zero Viola Quartet 2-09
Cello Mini-Lessons Free Online - David Finckel 9-11
Internet Cello Society
Dvorák Cello Tenor Clef Conversion Kit
available again 2-09
String Emporium - bass 5-09
Van Cott Wind Instrument Sheet Music, Books, CD's, etc 6-07
FSW - Flute Society of Washington
Flute Summer Programs - much more - John Ranck 2-07
IDRS - International Double Reed Society
Oboe Reed Makers - Customer Reviews
Play With A Pro - Educational videos for wind players 11-14
Woodwind.Org (mainly Clarinet)
Bibliography of Music for Double Wind Quintet 11-08
Piano Technicians Guild (PTG) 1-08
Find a piano tuner, much more
Piano World's Piano Forums
Piano Street's Piano Forums
Practising the Piano - Graham Fitch 4-13
ebooks, articles, email tips
Clavier Companion 3-09
Collaborative Piano Blog 9-10
UK Piano Page
Golandsky Institute (Taubman Approach) 12-10
Musicians' Health, Piano Teaching, Anatomy/Biomechanics 9-06
Musical Fossils: Adult Piano Students 10-06
of interest to most instrumentalists
Peter Feuchtwanger 4-07
ACMP - the Chamber Music Network
(formerly Amateur Chamber Music Players)
Music Workshop Guide
maintains national and international directories of members so you can find fellow players;
promotes chamber music in many ways, including home coaching grants for members
ACMP's Self Rating Guide
CMA - Chamber Music America
Community of Music Makers 7-12
Listings, Events, Resources -- a centennial initiative of the San Francisco Symphony in partnership with San Francisco Classical Voice
Chamber Music Intensive: A (summer) Workshop for Teens & Adults at Crowden School 5-09
Adult Chamber Music Class at Crowden School, Berkeley
CMNC recommends these classes for people who want more instruction and experience before, or in addition to, attending a CMNC workshop.
2014: Week 1 July 13-18 Week 2 July 20-25
Ashland Chamber Music Library Listings
2014: Session 1: July 20-25 Session 2: July 27-August 1
Chamber Music Society of Santa Barbara Workshop
2014: Saturday and Sunday March 22 - 23, 2014
2014: Week One: June 29 -July 4 Week Two: July 6 - 11 Week Three: July 13 - 18
Socal - Southern California Chamber Music Workshop (formerly San Diego CMW)
2014: 27 July - 2 August
Claremont Clarinet Festival - Margaret Thornhill
Left Coast Chamber Ensemble - Intersection (LCCE) 8-14
Music at Kirkwood
San Francisco Early Music Society Chamber Music Workshop
2013: June 23-29 (scroll down for info)
Sierra Chamber Ensemble Workshop - Faculty includes Felici Trio
2014: August 3-9
Edition Silvertrust
They "publish unjustly neglected [chamber] music by over 300 composers."
blog: articles on composers and music they publish.
The Chamber Music Journal 1990- now online
Hal Leonard 6-07
Lauren Keiser Music Publishing 2-13
has acquired Southern Music
Ourtext - Chamber Music for Strings 3-09
Merton Music Catalog
You might find the sheet music from other dealers besides those listed below:
Use a search engine. Type the composer's name, piece, sheet music. Use "" to search by phrase.
one example: "sheet music" "eduard franck" "piano quintet"
Hutchins & Rea 2-11
String sheet music
Sheet Music Plus
Looksheetmusic.com 5-07
Sheet music search engine
Virtual Sheet Music 2-08
EveryNote.com 2-08
More Sheet Music Download Links - EveryNote.com 2-08
CD Sheet Music
buy cd-roms of printable public domain editions in pdf
Library Music Source 6-10
individual parts and pieces from CD Sheet Music and Orchestral Musician
Sheet Music Archive
Mostly free downloads
IMSLP - International Music Score Library Project 12-06, available again 7-08
music in the public domain, downloadable/printable as pdf files
ScorSer 6-10
Searches several sites for free pdfs, midis, etc
Clarinet Institute Sheet Music Archives 1-10
Downloadable music which includes clarinet; also low cost collections on DVDs for other woodwinds, brass, string quartets and quintets
Classical MIDI Connection 6-08
Classical Music Sheets Library 7-08
Classical Musical MIDI Page 6-08
Digital Mozart Edition NMA Online 10-07
Free Sheetmusic Library - bh2000.net 12-06
Hybrid Vigor Music - The Quartet Project 12-09
Easier modern pieces for string quartets
Kreusch Sheet Music 7-08
Mutopia Project
includes MIDI files
ESM - Sibley Music Library (Univ. of Rochester)
Large collection including arrangements, lesser-known composers. Suggestion: search for trios, quartets, quintets, etc or by composer
Voyager Catalog - Sibley Music Library 8-10
Violin Sheet Music 7-10
WIMA: Werner Icking Music Archive 6-09
Extensive list of measure numbers (pdf) 3-10
Total number of measures for each movement of many chamber works
Amazon - Classical Music
Chamber Music MP3's
ClassicalConnect - free classical music online 5-10
Classical Music Archives
includes MP3 and MIDI files
Classic Cat 4-07
links to free downloadable classical performances
Classics Online 9-07
register, pay, and download mp3's, wma
Mozart-Archiv im Turm 11-08
free, downloadable mp3's
Piano Accompaniments 12-07
MP3 and CD versions for solo instruments
WWFM webcasts and archives 8-13
Indivisible By Four - with Carl Hemmingsen
The Piano Matters - David Dubal
YouTube 12-09
Andras Schiff Lectures on Beethoven Piano Sonatas (MP3's) 6-07
BBC - Radio 3 5-07
Classical Music Radio Stations 8-10
Podcasts and MP3's from the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum 12-06
NPR Music Podcasts 2-07
NPR Classical Music Streaming (continuous) 7-11
many NPR stations to choose from
Radio-Locator 2-09
search Classical format for streaming, FM, AM radio
Saint Paul Sunday 12-06
Finale, PrintMusic, NotePad (Win, Mac)
Forte (Win) 3-14
LilyPond - free (Linux, FreeBSD, Mac, Win) 10-09
MuseScore - free (Win, Mac, Linux) 2-09
Noteflight - free, use online 10-09
NoteWorthy Composer (Win) 11-12
Overture, ScoreWriter (Win, Mac)
Sibelius (Win, Mac)
Neuratron: Photoscore, Audioscore (Win, Mac) 2-11
SmartScore - several editions (Win, Mac) 11-12
Transcribe! - software to help transcribe recorded music (Win, Mac, Linux) 7-07
Intonia - Intonation tool and pitch recorder 2-11
Anvil Studio MIDI sequencer/player (PC, free and paid versions) 6-08
oTuner - Chromatic Tuner - Windows 2-12
Tartini Music Analysis Tool - pitch, etc 2-12
Metronome software - free or low cost
PC Metronome (with different 1st beat sound)
Virtual Keyboard and Midi Controller
ChordPulse (produces chords and beat) 9-12
TempoPerfect Metronome (PC, iPhone app) 9-12
Adobe Reader - to view and print pdf files
Foxit Reader (PC) 3-11
to view and print pdf files - can enlarge or reduce image when you print
Roboform - Web-form filler
Shortkeys - key sequence produces longer text (PC, free & paid versions)
TextExpander - key sequence produces longer text (Mac, $35) 5-07
A-440 Tuning Fork Sound 8-06
A-440 Hz (2 minute sine wave).mp3 7-07
Bb 466.16 Hz (2 minute sine wave). mp3 3-11
created using Audacity Sound Editor
Metronome Online and A-440 1-07
Chords and Scales - Piano Room 9-09
eMusicTheory 9-06
Ricci Adams' Musictheory.net - Lessons, Trainers, Utilities 9-06
Music Learning Community 11-10
games to learn the basics of music
Theta Music Trainer 2-13
Music and ear training games
Frequencies for Equal-Tempered Scale 10-08
Names of Keys in French, German, Italian, and Spanish 5-11
Natural Scale - Google Answers
see also Bay Area Libraries (with large sheet music collections)
Advances in Cognitive Psychology - Music Performance 12-06
All Music - Chamber Music 3-14
Use its Search for specific piece or composer, read background information and recordings
Classical Composers Database 4-10
Classical Net
Dolmetsch 12-06
dictionary, composers, music theory, music paper, more
earsense 2-10
chamber music articles/program notes, "chamberbase" of 140+ composers, search by composer or work
Fughetta 10-07
classical music database - search pieces and scoring
Israel Music Institute
Music Notation Style Guide - Indiana University 11-12
String section includes notation for harmonics
Musipedia Melody Search
Enter the up-down contour of the melody
New York Philharmonic Digital Archives 2-13
Marked Parts, Programs, audio, video
New York Philharmonic
Performance History Search 8-09
December 7, 1842 to last night's concert; includes chamber music concerts, performers
Orchestral Music Online 8-09
Program Notes by Joseph Way 3-09
San Francisco Public Library
Good sheet music collection
Grove's Dictionary online (requires SFPL card)
SJSU - Ira F. Brilliant Center for Beethoven Studies
U.C. Davis Music Library
U.C. Melvyl Library
Virginia Tech Multimedia Music Dictionary 9-07
WorldCat - World's Largest Library Catalog 10-06
Worldwide Internet Music Resources
An open letter: Prepare for your Chamber Coaching 11-12
by David Finckel and Wu Han: editions, markings, rehearsing, much more
Forgotten String Quartets 11-12
The Bulletproof Musician 10-10
Learn to overcome stage fright, performance anxiety, how to practice
The Musician's Way: A Guide to Practice, Performance, and Wellness 3-11
companion site to the book; blogs/articles on these topics
SFCV - San Francisco Classical Voice
greater Bay Area: articles, reviews, calendar
NPR Music - Classical 9-11
news, articles, NPR links and classical station streams, podcasts, app, weekly email newsletter
Violinist.com Blogs 9-14
Alf Studios - Articles on Violin Making 12-07
KALW / Public Arts
Resuscitating Art Music, by John Steinmetz 3-07
Welcome Address, by Karl Paulnack, to freshmen at the Boston Conservatory 2-09
Going Out on a Limb: The Anatomy of the Upper Limb 9-13
Free online course on the anatomy (bones, muscles and nerves) and common problems of the upper limb, from shoulder to hand, runs for 9 weeks, originally scheduled to start September 23, 2013, but current plan is to start October 21. It's not specifically aimed at musicians, but sounds intensive and informative for those of us who rely on our upper limbs to perform music. Workload is 3-5 hours per week.
You can sign up to be notified of future sessions if you can't take this one.
See https://www.coursera.org/ for more information about the organization and what's offered. Coursera offers many courses, all free.
Musician Wellness, Health, Injury Prevention, Ergonomics, Hearing Conservation, Voice Care 3-11
Extensive list of links to articles on these topics
Medical Problems of Performing Artists 3-11
"the first clinical medical journal devoted to the etiology, diagnosis, and treatment of medical and psychological disorders related to the performing arts"
UCSF - Health Program for Performing Artists 7-12
AAMHL - Association of Adult Musicians with Hearing Loss 3-07
E-Hand: Anatomy of the Hand 10-13
ASSH - American Society for Surgery of the Hand - Information for Public and Patients 10-13
Athletes and the Arts - Integrating Sports Medicine and Music 7-11
Ergocise.com 4-07
reduce computer-related stress and tension, help prevent RSIs (Repetitive Stress Injuries)
John Ranck Health Resources 4-07
Musicians' Health 2-07
Links, articles, including
Stress in Piano Playing
Playing (less) Hurt - An Injury Prevention Guide For Musicians 9-06
TSA - Transporting Musical Instruments
Inside the Musical-Instrument Passport Program; also, flying with your instrument 6-13
United Airlines - Fragile Items 7-12
Clarion Musical Instrument Insurance
see CMA membership benefits for reduced cost
Heritage Musical Instrument Insurance
Merz-Huber Co. Instrument Insurance
see ASTA (American String Teachers Association) - reduced cost for members
AirTurn 11-12
Wireless hands-free turning, PDF marking software, laptop and tablet stands
MusicReader 12-12
Digital music stand software
Page/Score Turner 1-08
you supply the Windows, Mac or iPad computer
Lotus Lights 2-12
music stand lights, LED, rechargable battery
Josef Siggemann Noligraph - 5-line stave pen 4-13
ArtsVote - Candidate Arts Policy Links 1-08
Office Watch's PayPal FAQ's
PayPal's Security Tips
Sergey Malov plays Violoncello da spalla 1-13
cello range, held almost like viola
Piano Puzzler 5-14
Flanders and Swann - Ill Wind (lyrics) 5-07
Stringfever Bolero 4-07
Watch Nora The Cat Play The Piano 4-07
CATcerto 1-13
Inclusion on this web page does not imply CMNC endorsement
Home | Site Map | Contact CMNC | Local Links
webmaster @ cmnc.org


text:
Set of four handmade silver tone base metal, green and clear crystal, and gold glitter bangle bracelets
Material: Silver tone base metal, crystal, clay, and glitter
Brand: Chamak by Priya Kakkar
Origin: Imported
Thanks to Chamak by Priya Kakkar, you don't need to travel around the world to score woman-of-the-world style (though globetrotting is never a bad idea!). The culmination of Kakkar's experiences growing up in India, studying at F.I.T., and working at prestigious fashion houses like Chanel and Burberry, Chamak features jewelry that blends culturally rich touches with a modern design ethos. Stackable, checkered crystal bangle sets, leather and ombre sequined bracelets, elegant cluster pendants, Indian-inspired drop earrings, and other glittery accessories will leave you dreaming of exotic locales.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Book your room at Pearl Hotel London
Double RoomMax Occupancy: 2 guests
Twin RoomMax Occupancy: 2 guests (up to 1 child, 1 infant)
Single RoomMax Occupancy: 1 guest
Triple RoomMax Occupancy: 3 guests
Bed & breakfast with a complimentary breakfast, in London (Hammersmith and Fulham)
This bed & breakfast is located in London (Hammersmith and Fulham), close to Shepherd's Bush Empire, Hammersmith Apollo, and Portobello Road Market. Also nearby are Earl's Court Exhibition Centre and Kensington Palace.
Property Features
A complimentary continental breakfast is available. Pearl Hotel London also features complimentary wireless Internet access, a 24-hour front desk, and concierge services.
Room Amenities
LED televisions include premium satellite channels. Guestrooms also feature complimentary wireless Internet access and bathrooms with showers and designer toiletries.Information missing or incorrect? Tell us!
At your hotel
At your hotel
Guests can enjoy a complimentary breakfast each morning. Public areas are equipped with complimentary high-speed wireless Internet access.
Pearl Hotel London is a smoke-free property.
- Number of floors - 2
- Number of buildings/towers - 1
- 24-hour front desk
- Total number of rooms - 45
- Free breakfast
- Concierge services
- Airport transportation
- Free Wi-Fi
- Smoke-free property
Stay connected
Available in all rooms: Free Wi-Fi
Available in some public areas: Free Wi-Fi
In your room
- Premium TV channels
- Phone
- Refrigerator
- Coffee/tea maker
- Daily housekeeping
- Private bathroom
- Designer toiletries
- Hair dryer
- Shower only
- Iron/ironing board
- Satellite TV service
- Free Wi-Fi
Eat and drink
A complimentary continental breakfast is served each morning between 7:30 AM and 9 AM.
The fine print for Pearl Hotel London
When you arrive
Minimum check-in age is 18
When you leave
Check-out time is 11 AM
How you can pay
You need to know
Extra-person charges may apply and vary depending on hotel policy.
Government-issued photo identification and a credit card or cash deposit are required at check-in for incidental charges.
Special requests are subject to availability upon check-in and may incur additional charges. Special requests cannot be guaranteed.
24-hour check-in
We should mention
Children 1 years old and younger stay free when occupying the parent or guardian's room, using existing bedding.


text:
Don your favorite barbecue apron and grab that flashy flipper! The Country Smoker 680 is designed with a crowd in mind.
Whether it's the long weekend, a family gathering or just time to let loose, the CS-680 is the quintessential complement for all your 'cooking-for-a-crowd' needs.
With 680 square inches of porcelain coated cooking surface, you can keep the crowd coming back for more. No one will go hungry as you sear, grill, bake and of course smoke your favorite meat and wild game. Don't forget to bake an apple pie when you're done!
Height: 42.25"
Width: 50.75"
Depth: 24"
Weight: 179lbs.
Hopper Capacity: 12 lbs.
Grilling Area: 731 sq. in. (H: 8.25" x W: 37.5" x D: 19.5")
Grilling Area with Optional Upper Cooking Rack: 969 sq. in.
Flame Broiler now a standard feature!
14 Gauge Steel Construction
Arched Flavor Guard
Variable Temperature Range* 180°F - 500°F+
Fan Cooled Hopper and Feed System
Convection Cooking
Auto Start Electric Igniter
Dome Thermometer
Grease Catcher Hook
2 Wheels
2 Leveling Legs
Engineered 4 Leg Stand
* Temperature outputs will be affected by external temperature, environment and type of pellet fuel.
Clip-On Front/Side Shelf
Custom Cover
Hopper Extention
Porcelain Cooking Grids
3 Year limited warranty on electrical parts**
5 Year limited warranty on workmanship**
** For details on warranty coverage and limites refer to the limited warranty section of the owners manual.
Click here to download the manual.
Tel: 1-877-303-3134
Hours: 8am - 5pm, Mon - Fri, MST


text:
Whoah, you're at our level cap. Good job, you rock! Here, have some cake.
for Developers
Activity Feed
Register or sign in to start receiving activity updates from around Kongregate!
Explore Kongregate & earn 10 kreds
Here are your 10 free kreds
Explore Kongregate & earn a trophy
Here's a shiny trophy for you
Keep exploring Kongregate with more badges and games!
Hide the progress bar forever?
Topic: Pocket Starships /
TESLA --> cheater --> refund
Today i saw a tank class ship with 5-6 robots around him. Here is looking at you Burning.
Topic: Pocket Starships /
Was about to invest, but since the same group of nippleheads are still abusing game mechanics without so much as a peep from the developers or GM's. I will gladly pass.
Topic: Pocket Starships /
BUG list
Guess ill keep on looking then, thanks!
got this quest that has me join or create a fleet for the Unicorn pocket galaxy, problem is however that my level is over 15.
As far as i know you can not enter that part of the game anymore once you level past that magical number.
Any solutions?
Topic: Castlot /
Bug Reports
I dropped a VIP level since the server merger, and lost all the benefits that came with it. It seems i am not the only one who is having this problem.
Sincerely, Shafty.
Topic: Castlot /
Suggestions for Castlot
And it will stay weaker,read the part where it said ''Now i am not saying this card should be as powerfull as a normal war element card''
How about introducing a Elemental Power booster card.
As an example,Heal of God and Furycrit take less than 4 heroes to perform and the remaining hero's war element slot is not used.
This slot could be filled with a booster card.
Now i am not saying this card should be as powerfull as a normal war element card,but some augmentation would be quite interesting.
Topic: Kongregate /
Payment Methods.
Tho there are a lot of ways to pay for your creds on Kongregate,i would still like to see more.
I suggest taking a look at the iDEAL payment method.
You get directed to your bank page ,enter a code and payment is done instantly with no extra charge.
Hey, do you like games? So do we — that's what makes Kongregate the best source of free games online. We have thousands upon thousands of free online games, from both one-man indies and large studios, rated and filtered so you can play the best of the best. Read more »
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Find out how »


text:
Mobile Banking
Mobile Banking is here!
We are excited to offer mobile banking to our membership. You now have access to your account information wherever you have your phone, whenever you want.
Don't have one of those new 'smart' phones? Thats okay - you can still use our mobile banking service.
We are pleased to offer this service at no cost to our members.
With this service, you are able to:
- Find out your account balance
- Make a loan payment
- Transfer money between your accounts
- Determine if a check cleared
- Determine if a deposit was made
- Get an alert if your account is below a certain balance
- And more!


text:
Destin's Best Seafood Restaurants and Markets
Breathe in the scent of Destin waterfront's salty air, squint at the sunlight shimmering on the Gulf of Mexico's turquoise waves, and gaze into the distance at fishing charters returning to shore. No doubt, it's only a matter of time before you're craving some seafood. Tucked into the heart of the heart of the Gulf Coast and dubbed "The World's Luckiest Fishing Village," Destin, FL, is primed to offer an amazing seafood selection to the hungry masses. Whether you're craving casual grub at a fish shack, want to fancy things up a bit with a candlelit meal or are planning a cozy night cooking in your vacation rental, Destin's seafood restaurants and markets have you covered.
Here's a look at our top picks for a tasty seafood meal in Destin.
Dewey Destin's
Crank Things Up With the Blackened Catch of the DayOne of Destin's seafood mainstays, Dewey's can seem every inch a tourist trap -- Panhandle visitors perpetually pack this casual joint. Of course, there's usually a reason restaurants become iconic, and yup, Dewey's delivers. Still, there are a few key things to remember: steer clear of the fried platters (they're not the freshest), and don't pin your hopes on the french fries (totally weak). Instead, opt for a plate of steamed seafood by the pound prepared mild or spicy, or the fresh catch of the day, often grouper, snapper or triggerfish. Whether you order the fresh catch fried grilled or blackened (c'mon, why not crank things up a notch?), it won't disappoint. Other major wins include the daily specials. Always fresh and creatively prepared, recent specials have included grilled mahi-mahi topped with tomatoes, olives, garlic, fresh basil and feta cheese, finished with reduced balsamic, and seared grouper topped with sautéed artichokes and shrimp, finished with a lemon butter cream sauce. For starters, dive into the over-the-top creamy hot crab dip, and close the night with a slice of homemade Key lime pie.
Shrimp Shack
Heaven on Earth for Oyster and Shrimp LoversAn easy drive from downtown Destin, the Shrimp Shack lies within Seaside, quite possibly one of the most picturesque beachfront communities on Earth. Any doubts you may foster about food quality from a "shack" with counter service will be blown to smithereens after a taste of the Shrimp Shack's amazing seafood. Start with a plate of oysters, which on recent visits have been sourced from Louisiana, and you will be overcome with briny delight. Follow this with a pound of steamed shrimp doused in spices and dipped in cocktail sauce, and then -- wait for it -- indulge in the glory that is the steamed Royal Red. This species of deep water shrimp is seasonal and packs a wallop of buttery flavor -- think lobster, but more tender (and, some would argue, tastier). A decadent lobster roll is also on the menu if you're still itching to fill your belly. Wash your meal down with a crisp glass of sauvignon blanc, while enjoying the Gulf views from the Shack's beachfront pavilion.
Sexton Seafood Market
When a Night at Home is in the CardsThere's no reason dining at home in Destin shouldn't knock your socks off as much as a night out. Most vacationers in Destin opt to stay in condo or beach house rentals -- and often travel as part of a multifamily group. Given the circumstances, eating out nightly can add up quick, so take advantage of your rental's fully equipped kitchen and Destin's amazing fresh seafood markets, like Sexton's. A favorite of locals and tourists for more than 30 years, Sexton's sells a wealth of fresh seasonal catches, including grouper, snapper, shrimp, Red Royal shrimp and stone crab claws. Sexton's even doles out a selection of coveted local Apalachicola oysters. The seafood here is always freshly caught and in season, so if you have your heart set on something specific, contact Sexton's for availability. In addition to fresh seafood, try Sexton's smoked tuna dip, corn and crab bisque or boathouse gumbo. Still not enough? Maybe an order of their jalapeño hush puppies will fill 'er up.
Marina Cafe
Treat Yourself to Dining DecadencePerhaps you've grown tired of dining in your swimsuit, sand in your hair, at one of Destin's many casual eateries. When a special occasion -- or just the desire to dress up a bit -- arises, head to the much-loved Marina Cafe. A prime waterfront location guarantees a romantic sunset location; in fact diners can arrive early for a happy hour drink on the restaurant's waterfront deck. When it comes time to dine, you'll be greeted with a menu chock full of masterfully prepared seafood entrees, like the pan-seared yellow edge grouper with jumbo lump crabmeat, orzo pasta salad and champagne vinaigrette. Not all Marina Cafe's seafood is locally caught, however it is all fresh -- we suggest tucking into the seared Maine diver scallops served over navy beans, sautéed spinach and roma tomatoes in a parmesan thyme broth. Save room for the rum raisin bread pudding soufflé topped with caramelized bananas, bourbon caramel and vanilla ice cream.
Louisiana Lagniappe
Spectacular Seafood With a Creole TwistLouisiana Lagniappe has been delighting Destin's locals and visitors with impeccable service and creative Creole-inspired seafood preparations for nearly 30 years. Fair warning: a night spent dining here will be pricey, but well worth it. Widely recognized as one of Destin's finest restaurants, Lagniappe serves up classics like grouper meuniere and Maine lobster and shrimp etouffee. Still, it's the chef's selections that really shine, like the grouper sautéed and topped with a fried jumbo soft-shell crab, honey-roasted nuts and Hollandaise sauce. As you ponder the menu, plan accordingly: you'll want to warm up with an appetizer, like the blackened scallops served with pineapple-rum butter sauce, or a bowl of the Cajun seafood gumbo. Wash these flavors down with one of Lagniappe's signature cocktails, like their authentic French Quarter Hurricane, a heady mix of Myer's rum, Bacardi rum, grenadine, orange juice and pineapple.
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Elite Alex Smith Jersey ., placed fourth and sixth in Saturdays three-metre final at the fourth stop on the diving Grand Prix circuit. http://www.cheapsanfrancisco49ersjersey.com/mario-manningham-jerseys . – Ernie Els was part of another final-round blunder. Y.A. Tittle 49ers Jersey . Louis Blues have signed forward Ty Rattie, the club announced Friday. Elite Randy Moss Jersey . —The biggest beneficiary of Matt Kalils arrival in Minnesota is unquestionably quarterback Christian Ponder.INDIANAPOLIS—Tony Kanaan has been called just about every name in the book. Fan favourite, pole-sitter, race-day favourite, race leader, even the last starter on the grid. For Kanaan, the past decade of Indianapolis has been filled with close calls, bad luck and frustration. But he keeps coming back to this 2.5-mile oval because he loves the race and its fans, and he figures eventually, the racing spirits might show some empathy for him, too. "I dont think Ive had a bad memory here," he says with that confident smile and playful chuckle. "Ive just got to think things happen for a reason." Whatever the reason, Kanaan, the 2004 IndyCar champ, has been the king of hard knocks at Indy. —In 2004, he was leading until a pit stop on lap 133, then ran second until Buddy Rice passed him on lap 150. Thirty laps later, a storm sent Rice to Victory Lane and Kanaan to a post-race news conference as the runner-up. —In 2007, he was leading on lap 113 when the rain came. After a lengthy wait in which it appeared Kanaan may finally have had his coveted Indy win, the race restarted, and Kanaan stayed in front until he ceded the lead during a pit stop on lap 157. Nine laps later, another storm moved through, ending the race. Kanaan finished 12th. —In 2008, Scott Dixon passed Kanaan for the lead on lap 106. A few moments later, teammate Marco Andretti went to the inside to make another pass of Kanaan. All Kanaan could do was go high, scraping the outside wall and forcing him to turn into the path of Sarah Fisher. Both cars were knocked out of the race. Afterward, Kanaan complained that every time he leads the race, something happens. —In 2009, a broken suspension sent the Brazilian into Indys concrete wall. The hit was so hard he bounced off, slammed into the wall again at more than 180 mph and was still limping when he showed up for the Milwaukee race a week later. If theres one person at Gasoline Alley who understands Kanaans plight, its Michael Andretti, his former team owner. "Weve talked about it a lot," Andretti said Friday. "Hes probably one of the best drivers at this track without a win under his belt. I know how he feels, and he knows how I feel, and he knows hes running out of chances, too." Andretti led the most laps of any non-500 winner (431). Kanaan has led more laps at Indy (214) than any non-winneer still active in the series. Randy Moss Jersey. So perhaps this will be the year fate intervenes. For the first time since 2009, Kanaan qualified in the front three rows. Hell start eighth, the middle of Row 3, a stark contrast from two years ago when he started from the final position in the 33-car field after using pieces from two crashed cars and Ryan Hunter-Readys No. 28 car just to qualify for the race.. Its also Kanaans 11th Indy start, matching both his car number and his lucky number, and it just happens to be coming on a day that he will be wearing special sunglasses in tribute to the late Dan Wheldon, his close friend and ex-teammate. "You know, every time Dan came here, he tried to enjoy it and I learned this from Dan," Kanaan said. "He was pretty good around here, but every time he was here, he would be like, Oh, look at the flags blowing or Oh, they changed the photos in the Pagoda." Kanaan insists he has learned to take a similar approach to Indy by staying relaxed and avoiding discussion of the things that could have been. His buddies in Gasoline Alley know better. "I think if Tony had a chance of winning the IndyCar championship, the points, or winning Indy, hed go 100 times for Indy," KV Racing Technology teammate and longtime friend Rubens Barrichello said. "When he was going for the setup out here, I told him Just relax, man, youre so tense. It freaks you out sometimes." Kanaan certainly has a large, loyal fan base. He spoke of the roar he heard when he made the first qualifying run last Saturday only to have the time erased because of a technical violation. When he returned several hours later to qualify again, the roar was even louder. Drivers ranging from Marco Andretti to Barrichello and even former drivers such as Michael Andretti acknowledge that deep down theyre still rooting for Kanaan to win one. "I think the pressure keeps building when you know you have less and less shots," Michael Andretti said. "So you just have to go out and do your job and hope this is your year." And thats exactly Kanaans mentality heading into Sunday. "Im more confident than last year, so Im ready," Kanaan said. "And why not?" When reminded he drove from 33rd into the front pack in 2010, Kanaan said: "Well try to do it again from eighth." ' ' '
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Professor JD Answers Your Questions53 Comments Published by JD July 16th, 2010 in I Know Things.
Jump by your will or be taken by force
I'll get you either way
Trying to keep the hellfire lit
I am stalking you as prey
Welcome! Professor JD here. You might already be familiar with my esteemed colleague Dr. JD, who helps troubled and diseased souls across the Internet with their medical issues.
My role is similar. If you have a question, I will answer it! For free! As a professor of . . . things, I consider no question too bizarre or too personal.
So let's get to it!
Just how often are you puking on your shower curtain? You do know you're supposed to puke in the toilet, right? When it comes down to cleaning up puke or installing a new shower curtain, it's a toss-up (see what I did there?) I suggest moving to a new house, one that has a shower door. But aim for the toilet.
Well, first you need to ask yourself if you even like porn. Maybe you're one of those weirdos who doesn't get turned on by photos of naked dogs posing on furry rugs. But if you're not one of those weirdos, perhaps you have a collection of porn videos that is confusing and scaring you. Please forward these videos to Professor JD for a more in-depth resolution to your query.
Ending this question with an exclamation point makes me feel excited about big butts! Yes, I agree, you must get a big butt no matter what. If butt implants (WARNING: photos of butts!) are too expensive, consider either eating lots of donuts or eating lots of pizza or both. (It worked for Professor JD!)
Let the other person make the first move. It's horribly embarrassing to find your tongue jammed into someone's mouth when they were just going in for a polite peck.
It's simple: One tongue goes in the opposite mouth. This is assuming we're talking about two people. If it's more than two, you're just going to have to draw a diagram or something.
Men show their tongues when working out as a way to attract women, duh. Also, why all the interest in tongues? Tongues are better when you ignore them. Once you start thinking too much about your tongue . . . damn it.
This may actually be the title of a Lifetime movie as opposed to a question. Either way, my answer is: Maybe.
Are you responsible for that topless person from above? If so, give her back her underware. This game is no longer funny.
The thong may start out lying on top of the butt, however, chances are as you move around throughout the day, it will begin to slip inexorably up the butt. Some people claim that this sensation is not annoying. These people were obviously born without nerve endings in their butt cracks.
This question has baffled scholars and scientists for years. How the fuck potatoes grow is that you stick a potato seed in the fucking ground and wait a while. Then you pull it out of the ground and fucking eat it.
While this is not exactly a question, I feel compelled to point out that "netherregions" is only appropriate as a single word when referencing Robert Plant. Example 1: "My nether regions are all itchy." Example 2: "Robert Plant's netherregions look like they'd be all itchy." (Because Robert Plant wears such tight jeans, is my reasoning.)
Yes, although in America we spell it "fetus," which makes more sense because it has fewer letters. That "o" is totally unnecessary. Where are you from? I bet you pronounce "lieutenant" with an "f."
Of course not! Who told you that? I hope Dr. JD isn't filling your head with nonsense about green leafy vegetables and "high cholesterol" again.
Well, the statute of limitation on poison is nineteen years, so you are pretty much shit out of luck unless you happened to have a video camera set up in your bedroom. Did you? Were you able to capture any ghosts or other paranormal entities? Were the ghosts friendly or did they try to scare you? I'm beginning to think the ghosts were responsible for your poisoning, in which case, once again, you are shit out of luck.
I would imagine Amazon.com sells Pentagon-shaped crackers. They sell freaking everything. I've ordered Washington Monument-shaped crackers from Amazon, and man, are those things pointy.
If you see a moth that looks like a pork chop, you should run. If, by chance, you are feeling brave and creative, I would recommend that you compose a song about this moth to the tune of Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like a Lady."
No. It's a way of saying you are a pork chop.
Yes. If you listen to Metallica's "One Potato, Two Potato, Three Potato, Devil!" backwards, you will hear the line "How the fuck do (green) potatoes grow." Any song that includes the F-word is automatically about the devil; hence green potatoes = the devil.
HA! Everyone wants to know this. Believe me, you wouldn't even know what to do with a JD if you got one.
What I mean is, I like it burnt to the point of the liquid turning to ash, which is actually impossible, so I think then what I mean is that I like it really hot? (Does anyone else know the answer to this one?)
This is true. Many people erroneously believe that bones can actually burn if a fire is hot enough. This is absurd! Bones cannot burn! No, there is a giant bone dumpsite just outside of Newark. That's where your bones (and too-hot coffee) go.
Cube heads can be the most difficult to shop for, especially when it comes to sexy underware. The thing to remember is, the shape of the head does not necessarily have anything to do with the shape of the nether regions. At least I don't think so. Because, man, that would be bizarre, wouldn't it?
Yes, you are. Sorry. Blood relatives who share sex germs usually end up with cube-headism, which may or may not affect your nether regions. I'll have to confer with Dr. JD, but I think the only cure is to eat a steady diet of green potatoes.
What the hell kind of parent are you? You probably let your son play with your sex toys too. For god's sake, pick out the bugs first. As for the bugs he's ingested? It's too late. I hope you feel guilty.
Ah, yes. I remember there was a bit of a kerfluffle when everyone forgot Prudence's first birthday. Don't let it happen again. Mark this down in your calendar: March 28. She will be three years old next year.
Yes. Yes, they do.
* * *
Do YOU have a question for Professor JD? Does it have to do with tongues? If it has to do with tongues, please just Google it.
Mutant tongue came from here
53 Comments
53 Responses to "Professor JD Answers Your Questions"
Jul 16th, 2010 at 11:08 AM
Oh yuck. I LOLed over the Moth Looks Like A Pork Chop song, but heaved a little over the sex toys. Thanks for the laugh-chuck.
.-= Tara´s last blog ..So- our carbon monoxide detector works =-.
Jul 16th, 2010 at 11:14 AM
Man, when you go away and come back to blogging, you really freaking know how to put us all to shame! Laughed through this whole thing, except for when I banged my head against my desk after reading the 20-year-old poisoning question. OMG, people google this stuff?!?!!?
I'm a little bit worried about the future mental health of the person who used his or her parents' sex toy. Yikes.
.-= Kathy´s last blog ..The Thing I Swore I'd Never Tell Anyone =-.
Jul 16th, 2010 at 11:22 AM
Professor JD and Dr. JD posts are my favorites I think. I've missed you.
.-= Susan´s last blog ..The Avett Brothers =-.
Jul 16th, 2010 at 12:21 PM
bahahahaha. ALways the best questions
I think someone tried to get me to play that game where I have to drink something and then take of my 'underware'. I didnt know how to play and I lost since i went home still fully clothed and the guy won a swift kick in the balls.
Fucking potatoes piss me off
.-= seafoodpunch´s last blog ..Kids Like Beards =-.
Jul 16th, 2010 at 12:44 PM
It's good you are here to answer these pressing questions.
I have one for you. If one would not know what to do with a j.d. if one had one why did the male person spend soooooooo much money, time and stress getting one to then work for soooooooo many years to retire to be a goat farmer?
.-= Pricilla´s last blog ..AbbyDay – I am the Queen of the Spinach =-.
Jul 16th, 2010 at 1:06 PM
so much information. i am trying to absorb everything, but i will just hit a few highlights.
i am a pork chop, i am a pork chop. this refrain should be sung to the beatles tune "i am a walrus".
robert plant's nether regions. RSB. i kind of stopped paying attention after you brought this up. i would be available to scratch that itch.
cleaning puke off a shower curtain…hello! the shower is a cleaning location, usually with hot water and soap available to assist in said cleaning.
cube head, i assumed this was a similar malady like pin head in hellraiser.
and regarding the idiot that used their parents sex toy…you should have asked yourself this question prior to using said toy. and the bigger question is why would you ever consider using this in the first place!? idiot.
thank you for another informative, thought provoking post.
.-= puglette´s last blog ..In Loving Remembrance of Skippy-Wu =-.
Jul 16th, 2010 at 2:50 PM
I heart this post so very much. Especially the really good insight on fucking potatoes. I planted potatoes this year because we don't have any fucking money, so I planted whatever sprouted in my kitchen….
Here's my question, and it's definitive of the fact that I have a 2 1/2 year old who is obsessed with the Disney movie 'Cars', I've watched Cars 300 times in the last week. I know every line, every scene, every nuance,yet I have not been able to answer this question:
If two cars fall in love and want to have a baby car….what happens? Do they go do the car factory and pick out a little mini? Who makes the cars? Who repairs them when they break down? The shocking lack of opposable thumbs makes me nervous for all of them. How does a car 'die'? Does a car have to sign a donor card if his parts get transplanted in other cars after his demise?
Okay, so that's like 10 questions, but The Husband won't talk to me about it anymore and Adorablepants' answer is always 'McQueen! Kachow!' Which is his way of saying 'Shut it and let me watch my movie"
.-= Kathleen Kaufman´s last blog ..We Are All Whoopi Goldberg =-.
Jul 16th, 2010 at 3:03 PM
Dr. JD … Dr. JD !
I think I was supposed to have my moobs removed but accidently got a lobotomy !
Help !
- Jaffer
Jul 16th, 2010 at 3:41 PM
Dr JD, Why does my cat like to eat bacon, cheese, meat, bread, and cake? She ruined my cake because she ate some of it.
Jul 16th, 2010 at 4:02 PM
I remember the time I found a box of lickable tatoos in my parents closet when I was looking to borrow a sweater from my mom. Geez, couldn't they have hidden that thing, or at least put it aside somewhere less obvious? I can guarantee you, the thought of my parents having sex and using any kind of toys pretty much kills my sex drive.
.-= Surfie´s last blog ..Worlds Smallest Cheese Grater! =-.
Jul 16th, 2010 at 4:48 PM
OK, these totally killed me! And then I tried to explain to my man why I was laughing so hard but all that came out was "Fucking potatoes…haha…shaped like pork chops….hahahaha…used my parents' sex toys….hahahahahahaha…."
He didn't get it.
"Do you want your coffee cremated" should actually read "Do you want your coffee cream-ated". I've actually heard people say this when asking if you want cream in your coffee. I think it's supposed to be witty or clever, but what do I know? I thought old men COULD ride bicycles!
.-= Nicky´s last blog ..Nothing In Life Is Guaranteed… =-.
Jul 16th, 2010 at 6:08 PM
OMG… how have I lived all these years without your riveting answers to these compelling questions? Thank you, Professor JD!
BTW… that's why there's a meat grinder at the crematorium… to crunch up the leftover chunks of bone. EEEWWW!
.-= CatLadyLarew´s last blog ..Pfffft Help! Theme Thursday =-.
Jul 16th, 2010 at 7:04 PM
I have a really gory cremation story that I hesitate to share…..I'll hold off until you approve, but it will answer a lot of questions concerning that bone question…..
Oh yeah, I also want to know why the neighbor cat comes to my yard to take a dump? And while we're at it, what are his parents feeding him? Pewww…….
.-= Kathleen Kaufman´s last blog ..We Are All Whoopi Goldberg =-.
Jul 16th, 2010 at 8:06 PM
Actually, the answer to the last question is: Cats ARE angels.
.-= Sparkle´s last blog ..The Petties =-.
Jul 16th, 2010 at 8:06 PM
You maded me laugh and laugh! And I also learned lots of new stuff. Except you might have made a tiny mistake about how 'tatos grow. I am pretty sure they grow from EYEBALLZ. You stick them in the ground, and the eyez stretch out really long, and tiny potatoes grow from the eyeball stalks. Maybe Harley will have to research this one some.
.-= Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog ..My New Stripey Hoodie =-.
Jul 17th, 2010 at 2:08 AM
Holy crap, woman. You've come back like gangbusters. I am so jealous because you get the coolest Google searches! I want to think of something smart-alecky to say, but I am so awesomified by your wit right now – this post just killed me!
.-= Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..Goat Thing of the Day- Germs Are Baaaad- M'Kay =-.
Jul 17th, 2010 at 7:12 AM
These questions are unbelievable, but I'm so glad there are such stupid people around, or we wouldn't get these hilarious posts for you.
.-= babs – beetle´s last blog ..Flowers- and rolling in the grass! =-.
Jul 17th, 2010 at 8:07 AM
OMG! I laughed so hard at this post and had morning coffee come out my nose. Now I'm wondering how many people are sitting at their laptops topless and wishing they weren't.
Jul 17th, 2010 at 8:30 AM
A fabulous way to start my day!
Do you think you could remind us a little closer to Prudence's birthday, though? I mean, seriously. We'll surely forget by March. Again.
.-= Your Daily Cute´s last blog ..Breakdancing Kitty =-.
Jul 17th, 2010 at 8:47 AM
Only a couple of these even vaguely sounded like questions. Lord.
How to get a "bigger" butt? They're welcome to a slice of mine. Hell, two slices so their butt cheeks match.
Who's mouth should your tongue be in? Why your own. Most of us prefer that, if there's another tongue in our mouths, it be still anchored, preferably to someone hot like Hugh Jackman. Detached foreign tongues are not nearly as sexy as it might seem and the blood is distracting, especially if your date is all "sparkly" in the sunshine.
I also have to say that I don't think there's any fucking involved with potato growing. Germination, maybe, but not growing. But, thanks, the image of my plants making out at night will haunt me for weeks.
I'm afraid, as a parent, I have to disagree with the bugs in the cereal answer. Are you kidding? In this day and age of sugar cereals and snacks, those bugs might be the only protein the kids gets.
Great stuff as always, JD
.-= Stephanie Barr´s last blog ..Value vs Worth =-.
Jul 17th, 2010 at 9:16 AM
Yeah I think I'll need to invest in some kind of secure storage area for the bedroom…wouldn't want to scar my children (although the thought of THEM using MY toys…shudder. I wonder if the kid remembered to clean it afterwards. EW EW EW)
and yes…pets are all angels…they put up with us humans, right?
.-= Laura´s last blog ..Home Again Home Again Jiggety Jog =-.
Jul 17th, 2010 at 9:53 AM
You are HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How the hell did you come up with these answers????
Freakin' brilliant you are!
"This question has baffled scholars and scientists for years. How the fuck potatoes grow is that you stick a potato seed in the fucking ground and wait a while. Then you pull it out of the ground and fucking eat it."
I love you!
.-= Ron´s last blog ..Straight Women- Gay Men Friendships =-.
Jul 17th, 2010 at 10:53 AM
Oh, J.D., you are the best. I've been so embarrassed to ask about cube headism. Thank you.
.-= MomZombie´s last blog ..Why do people make things so complicated =-.
Jul 17th, 2010 at 2:18 PM
Oh, my goodness. Are these genuine Googles?? These people are … these people are … there is no word for wtf these people are. Especially the ones asking about moths.
But I think the one that takes the biscuit is the one about getting infected by using their parent's sex toy. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! 'Infected with what?' I'm tempted to ask. Infected with parentism, perhaps? Or (judging by the way some of these … people? Are they real people?) talk, they probably mean 'infected with guilt'.
Thank you for that. I needed the laugh!
The green potatoes! Hahahahaha! I LOVE your answer! ROFL!
.-= Jay´s last blog ..Conversations with a husband – No 19 =-.
Jul 17th, 2010 at 3:28 PM
So, are you saying there is something wrong with bugs in cereal? I thought they were additives used to increase the protein levels of the cereal?
.-= dcr´s last blog ..Silly or Stupid or Silly AND Stupid Spammers =-.
Jul 17th, 2010 at 10:59 PM
No I did not keep the part of me brain – who in the right mind does that – oh wait that was my right mind !
Perhaps Dr. JD can use me moobs and make 'em think – I'd be the first to get brain implants.
Ain't that clever eh ? eh ? eh ?
And that's coming from someone with half-a-brain – literally !
Jul 18th, 2010 at 1:20 PM
Can old men ride bicycles? No.
This question made me lol…and then use the expression "lol" in public which is not something I usually do.
Also, thanks for the help on pentagon shaped crackers, I've been needing to get some for a while but was too embarassed to ask for them at the grocery store.
.-= J.´s last blog ..Walters Thumb =-.
Jul 18th, 2010 at 2:04 PM
You have successfully given Cars a much darker edge. I like it though, and it's nice to have an expert take my queries seriously, unlike The Husband who keeps repeating that its just a movie and I need to suspend my disbelief…pfffttt….
Alright, you approved my cremation story and you only have yourself to blame.
Here it goes:
I met a girl some years back who told me this story and I have absolutely no proof that it's true, except that it was a little too specific to be a lie by the normal standards.
She was a biker and one of her biker friends had passed away. He was cremated and their whole group of biker friends had promised to take his ashes up on a mountain road and scatter them as they soared down the highway on their motorcycles.
So they're all soaring down the highway, and the guy in the lead had a girl on the back of his bike who had the ashes and was in charge of spraying them up to the heavens at just the right moment, so everyone behind them could watch.
She opened up the container and without really looking inside started shaking them loose….except no one had told them that there are still significant chunks of bone in the ash….so instead of a beautiful memorial flag of dust in the wind….the people immediately behind the leader were blinded with clods of ash, then smacked in the face with chunks of bone. As they started veering out of the way, the whole formation started veering to avoid them and pretty soon it was a 10 motorcycle pileup.
Probably not what the dearly departed had in mind.
Again, I have no proof of the truthiness of this story….but unlike Cars…I have no desire to prove it wrong either.
There ya go….you were warned.
.-= Kathleen Kaufman´s last blog ..We Are All Whoopi Goldberg =-.
Jul 19th, 2010 at 3:55 AM
This post. Was. Most. Excellent! This was my Most Excellent Surprise of the day!
I'm coming off 48 hours of no electricity, 93 degree heat and everything in the refrigerator trashed and lost. I now have power, coffee cream and a functioning coffee maker, so life is good again.
Okay, these just escalated from funny to hilarious and then we took a hairpin turn into OMG.
Uh, the dude who used his parent's sex toy (it's a guy, you just KNOW it is) seriously freaked me out and made me exclaim out loud and then laugh hysterically.
Thank you for ushering me back into the land of the living, JD.
No question, just a boatload of thanks.
.-= cardiogirl´s last blog ..The book of questions- Volume 99 =-.
Jul 19th, 2010 at 11:17 AM
Sooooooo…is it bad to be on the computer when on supposed camping adventure?
Yeah, yeah…I do the outdoorsy stuff like hiking and stuff, but I can't wait to find some wi-fi and log into the net.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Pop-up's Up =-.
Jul 19th, 2010 at 1:04 PM
I am CRYING laughing at some of your replies. There are actual tears running down my cheeks!
I think ONE of my favorites questions was :
"I never wanted to be topless"
And YOUR reply:
"This may actually be the title of a Lifetime movie as opposed to a question. Either way, my answer is: Maybe."
Oh and also, your explanation on how to grow potatoes fucking rocked.
Thank you for giving me the best laugh of the day!!
.-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Writing Rituals And The Muse =-.
Jul 19th, 2010 at 2:04 PM
I can answer the tongue question, the middle one I think, the one about more than two tongues and who goes where. It's just like coming to an intersection where everyone has a stop sign. You defer to the right. Meaning, you put your tongue in the mouth on the right, unless you are in London and then you go left, but I am assuming this is for American tongues. Otherwise, whoever got there first goes first. It's not too challenging once you get the hang of it.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Enough With The Rain and Some Great Reads Too =-.
Jul 19th, 2010 at 2:22 PM
Doctor, Doctor, Gimme the News…
(Actually I've just had my handful of MD doctors so I'm gonna stick to having you be a professor doctor right now.) If I may, I'd like to add the following suggestions to your cerebrally-challenged questioners…
1. Cleaning a vomitful shower curtain is fun and easy! Wash it down with a hose and make an awesome hillbilly slip n' slide! Weee!
2. Uh…after professor J.D. does her…ahem…preliminary investigation, it's best that an expert take a look…that expert being my husband. (SNAP!)
3. Surgeon Plastic Brazillian Butt-Implants/Lift necessary! (Freshmen English is cool, too, and works out the bum nicely.)
4- Just give her some vodka and Hawaiian punch or a Sex on the Beach until she sticks out her tongue–then she'll show all the 'hardware' a going over.
5. Never want to be topless? Wear your nicest bra in the shower–it cleans and you don't feel nakkie….wait, maybe you and the butt lady should get together and trade parts? Wait…maybe the butt lady should talk to the thong lady who should talk to topless lady. In the end, wear a comfortable over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder and comfy nude colored granny panties. And stick out your tongue when you work out.
Hmm…I've consulted Dan Quayle and…the fetus blob is a fucking potatoe, your mom accidently poisoned you by letting you eat bugs in your cereal about 19 years ago, and if you want a 'j.d.,' I suggest buying a relaxing swim in the horny male dolphin pool at SeaWorld.
Any questions?
Jul 19th, 2010 at 10:38 PM
Why do people waste their time asking such dumb ass questions about potatoes and tongues. And who the hell cares how the fuck potatoes grow anyway. I thought they just materialized in bags on supermarket shelves. The stand-alone potatoes, or strays, are orphan potatoes and likely cast offs from the bagged potatoes. Jeff Probst just told me, "The potato tribe has spoken."
Did you know that dogs have knees and elbows? My dog busted her knee, and my other dog sticks his pointy elbow into my chest whenever he sits on my lap.
He's convinced that he's a lap dog even though he weighs as much as a Volkswagen. Not really. But it hurts when he sits on my lap. End of rambling thoughts and off to play dog nurse.
My pointy elbowed dog also has dry eyes and sees a doggy opthamologist. My other dog with the bum knees sees an orthopedist. And I wonder why I'm losing my mind. Maybe I should see a doggy shrink. At least I wouldn't have to speak, just roll over a couple of times.
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..Boston Med Songs at ABC Music Lounge – No Snacks or Booze! =-.
Jul 19th, 2010 at 11:25 PM
Better Jeff Probst potato line: The spud has spoken. I can't believe that I powered up my computer just to add this. My brain never shuts up.
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..Boston Med Songs at ABC Music Lounge – No Snacks or Booze! =-.
Jul 20th, 2010 at 12:53 AM
I didn't get to comment on this the other day but it literally had me laughing my ass off at my desk. I don't understand how people come up with this shit! It seriously scares me about the future of our planet.
.-= carissa´s last blog ..I'm still not a twi-hard… Poo can suck it… and your mom =-.
Jul 20th, 2010 at 1:22 PM
Cremated coffee–I can't stop laughing at that!
.-= kathcom´s last blog ..From World Cup to D Cup- Soccer the American Way =-.
Jul 20th, 2010 at 1:52 PM
Bwahahahaha! OMG some people are just too stupid to exist. Or, at the very least too stupid to be allowed to use Google.
I think we need some Google police to round these idiots up so they can share a cell with Lindsay and Mel.
.-= Maureen´s last blog ..Dont Believe The Myth =-.
Jul 20th, 2010 at 3:05 PM
Ummmm….. did you read my "party in my mouth" post? LOLOL! Bugs in cereal… LOVE it!
.-= Katherine´s last blog ..Picture This =-.
Jul 21st, 2010 at 1:10 PM
I had to come back and read this again! Im STILL laughing out loud!
.-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Writing Rituals And The Muse =-.
Jul 21st, 2010 at 2:23 PM
You expect me to carry around a piece of my brain ? Who in the right mind does that
Oh wait – that is what I am missing !
- Jaffer
Jul 21st, 2010 at 5:16 PM
And I thought I got all the crazy ones.
My favorite though is "i never wanted to be topless"… it really just makes you wonder what the story behind that is. Wish you could track her or him down and do an interview. lol
.-= Monique´s last blog ..I'm Fat =-.
Jul 22nd, 2010 at 4:02 PM
JD! Why do you always catch me out?
.-= babs – beetle´s last blog ..A post for Pam =-.
Jul 22nd, 2010 at 6:11 PM
hahahhaa. too funny, but seriously. my favorite:
This question has baffled scholars and scientists for years. How the fuck potatoes grow is that you stick a potato seed in the fucking ground and wait a while. Then you pull it out of the ground and fucking eat it.
OMG! hahahahhahah
i have a question because i'm curious and inexperienced, but it's dirty so i won't ask it. hey how about i go to google, type in my question and hopefully it will lead me back to your blog and then you can answer it on the next go round. bet, i'm on my way.
way fun, jd. thanks for the laughs. kinda hard to pay attention to jeopardy now. heck, i was sleepy, but not anymore.
Jul 27th, 2010 at 1:12 AM
I really like the strangely Biblical phrasing "take of her underwear." Yea verily, I shall give her the pressing of the grape, and she shall take of her underwear to have sex.
That works for me.
And later we'll have pork chop moths and fucking potatoes. Because that's only right.
.-= David´s last blog ..Portland to Chicago- Part 3 =-.
Jul 27th, 2010 at 4:03 PM
What a funny blog idea. Some of these questions are just too funny, and others are just plain stupid. How entertaining. Nice work.
Jul 28th, 2010 at 6:29 PM
Um. Why should I go to the trouble of Googling tongues if it's just going to bring me to your site anyway??
I would like to know what's happened to all the decent Thai porn.
I heard a rumor that a mysterious person, going by the code name
"DJ, Things Do I Should", scarfed up all the good stuff and left all the
crap for the rest of the world.
I believe you may need to send this to your colleague, Detective JD.
.-= kathryn´s last blog ..All Roads Lead to Jeffrey =-.
- 1 Pingback on Jul 16th, 2010 at 11:22 AM


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"Tastes amazing! My "crust" turned out a little darker than I had anticipated (which tells me my oven is not at the temp that the dial says!), but it still was great. My family is telling me I need to make this again soon. "


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What should be done 4 to 6 weeks before moving day
If you have ever relocated before, then you might already know that your itinerary list can grow quickly as moving day inches closer and closer on the calendar. At 4 to 6 weeks out, there are several things that need to be accomplished so that you can minimize stress and extra work further down the road.
Begin de-cluttering: Many people will either start putting less-used items in their storage units or have a yard sale to begin the process of de-cluttering their home at this time. You can also start eating canned or frozen foods in your fridge and pantry so that you won't have to waste or transport them on moving day.
Change of address notifications: This is also the time when you will need to notify friends, family and the post office about your upcoming new address. While you're at it, this is also a great time to notify your utility companies, insurance agencies and doctors about the change as well.
Start packing non-seasonal items: Christmas decorations, out-of-season clothing, items in your basement and attic and other things you don't immediately need can start to be put in boxes or containers at this time.


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- American starts Eagle routes from LaGuardia, Miami
- Vision Airlines sets sights on scheduled passenger service
Security scare at Philly grounds US Airways flight
In an update just in off the news wire, The Associated Press writes:
An FBI spokesman says authorities are looking for someone who may have improperly gained access to the tarmac at Philadelphia's airport, prompting passengers to be removed from a US Airways flight to Bermuda. FBI spokesman J.J. Klaver tells The Associated Press that US Airways Flight 1070 has been cleared by authorities who swept the jetliner looking for explosives. He says the situation doesn't appear to have any connection to terrorism.
Philadelphia police say initial reports from the scene indicate a person lacking a security badge was helping load the plane. Airport officials would only say the search was prompted by a security concern raised by the airline. US Airways spokesman Todd Lehmacher confirmed the search, but declined to discuss specifics, citing the ongoing investigation.
Officials removed more than 100 passengers to conduct the sweep, according to AP.
- American starts Eagle routes from LaGuardia, Miami
- Vision Airlines sets sights on scheduled passenger service


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Director Morten Kjaerum will take part in informal ministerial discussions on the future of the European Area of Justice on 28 April in Helsinki.
In the afternoon, he will give a keynote address at a seminar entitled The future of the European area of justice, rule of law and fundamental rightsI, following speeches by Finnish Prime Minister Jyrki Katainen and EU Home Affairs Commissioner Cecilia Malmström.
Fundamental rights in the future of the European Union's Justice and Home Affairs
Working & discussion paper
In this paper, FRA looks at the overall institutional framework of the EU fundamental rights policy. Some of the proposals it contains include introducing an EU 'fundamental rights policy cycle' and a 'European fundamental rights information system'. It also discusses the most pertinent fundamental rights elements in other policy areas of freedom, security and justice.
Promoting the rule of law in the European Union - FRA Symposium report
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The 2013 FRA Symposium took place on 7 June in Vienna, and aimed at providing a platform to discuss and exchange ideas on the promotion of the rule of law in the EU. This report provides a summary of the discussions and working groups and presents the conclusions and possible next steps identified by each working group.


text: According to Corey Taylor, "All Hope Is Gone" is the last Slipknot album ever.Though they're gonna be touring a little bit, Corey says:"I don't see a new Slipknot album happening. I can't imagine recording an album without Paul Grey'And I know it may seem of little consolation, but here is a video of a hooker getting bit on the boob by a snake to cheer you up. :'(


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NASCAR Red Line, from Eutechnyx is a light management and reaction game where you manage a racer through a series of races. Combining elements of a sports management game and reaction game like CSR Racing into a new type of racing game. NASCAR Red Line should be available this summer.Posted in: Blog
Tagged with: CSR Racing, E3, Eutechnyx, NASCAR, racing, red line


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TLC Stars Are Thankful For...
Nov. 12, 2013
This year, TLC has a lot to be thankful for. In this photo album, see pictures of your favorite stars and read what they're giving thanks for this holiday season.
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"Helping consumers lead more convenient lives with smart technology is what LG is all about," said Moonbum
Shin, Executive Vice President and CEO of the LG Electronics Home Appliance Company. "HOM-BOT SQUARE is contributing toward this goal in a large way on the strength of its innovation and competitiveness in this growing market."
With sharp right-angles being found in practically every building in the world, LG engineers based the new HOM-BOT on a square, different from the circular design of most robot cleaners. The cleaner's unique square design, hi-tech sensors and newly improved brushes (1.5cm longer than those in the previous model) are collectively called Corner Master and enable HOM-BOT SQUARE to more effectively reach areas that other cleaners simply ignore.
Corner-detecting sensors supply the cleaner with spatial information, telling it when the edge of the room has been reached, when to turn and when to stop. Sensitive Dual Eye 2.0™ camera sensors scan the floor, sampling multiple images per second and then analyze the information to generate an accurate map of the space -– even with the lights off. Onboard ultrasonic and infrared sensors allow the HOM-BOT SQUARE to detect and easily avoid obstacles in its path.
LG's HOM-BOT SQUARE also features Turbo Mode, which allows the user to manually set cleaning functions to the specific requirements of their flooring. And Smart Turbo Mode enables the cleaner to detect the type of flooring and change its own settings automatically.
Visitors to LG's HOM-BOT SQUARE launch event in France were given the opportunity to play a live version of LG's dust-killing internet game. Participants used a remote to navigate the vacuum cleaner around a course and vacuum up simulated dust characters. Those who "caught" the most characters in the allocated time took home a new HOM-BOT SQUARE cleaner.
Launching first in France, HOM-BOT SQUARE will be available in other European markets in the fourth quarter followed by its global launch in 2013.
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A New Vision of Vision
Inner Vision: An Exploration of Art and the Brain
Visual Intelligence: How We Create What We See
By the end of the nineteenth century neurologists were convinced that seeing and understanding were two distinct, anatomically separate brain functions; seeing was passive and understanding active. The evidence seemed clear: patients with damage in one part of the brain became blind, whereas patients with damage in another part of the brain were able to see but could not understand what they were seeing. They could not recognize objects. The German neurologist Hermann Munk called this second condition "mind-blindness" (Seelenblindheit) and today it is known as "agnosia," a term we owe to Sigmund Freud. These neurological findings led to the widely accepted idea that the eye was like a camera: the eye took photographs and transmitted them to the visual center of the brain; the photographs were then interpreted and understood by other cortical centers. When the cortical centers were damaged and could no longer interpret them, the result was agnosia.
During the past thirty-odd years, however, neurophysiological and clinical studies, as well as attempts to simulate animal and human vision on computers, have given us a considerably more sophisticated view of the nature of perception. Since the world we see is always changing and the retina receives a constant flow of different kinds of visual information, the brain must be able to select visual properties of objects and surfaces in order to give them coherence. In acquiring this ability, the brain has developed specialized functions for the analysis of different properties, such as color, shape, and movement. It creates our visual worlds, including the colors of the rainbow, the illusion of motion on the movie screen, and the perception of depth in a flat painting.
Semir Zeki, a professor of neurobiology at University College, London, has made some of the more important discoveries that have radically changed our view of how we see and understand the world around us. His book A Vision of the Brain, published in 1993, has become a classic introduction to vision and the brain sciences, showing how recent neurophysiological studies support the view that our visual worlds are a product of complex processes rather than a simple reflection of the world around us. Though the different colors we see are determined by the different frequencies of light reflected off surfaces, the particular sensation of, for example, the color red is a product of our brains. The perception of color is one of the ways the brain makes us aware of the physical characteristics of the external world, in this case various frequencies of light. The universe, as Isaac Newton noted long ago, is colorless: "Rays, to speak properly, have no Colour. In them there is nothing else than a certain power and disposition to stir up a sensation of this Colour or that."
In Inner Vision, Zeki is less concerned with what neurophysiology can tell us about art than what art can tell us about neurophysiology. Painters have always been dependent on the functional organization of the visual brain, without being aware of that dependence. The portrait painter, Zeki points out, relies on the specialized areas in the brain that allow us to see and identify faces. So, too, attempts of Fauve painters such as Matisse or Derain to liberate colors from form could only be achieved because color and form are separate and independent brain functions. And the Cubists, Zeki writes, were able to make explicit our simultaneous awareness of multiple perspectives because specific brain mechanisms can analyze the two-dimensional images on our retinas as three-dimensional objects.
Zeki's new book fortuitously appears at the same time as Visual Intelligence by Donald Hoffman, professor of the cognitive sciences at the University of California (Irvine), which gives a remarkably clear summary of what we know, and don't know, about the way the brain creates what we see. Hoffman has done important research suggesting that in order to create visual perceptions the brain must be using a set of rules comparable to the rules of transformational grammar that Noam Chomsky has found to be universal characteristics of language. His book describes implicit rules that make it possible for us to see lines, depth, colors, form, and motion. Taken together, the books by Zeki and Hoffman give the most perceptive general account we have of the workings of human vision.
In A Vision of the Brain, Zeki recalled that in 1888 a Swiss ophthalmologist, Louis Verrey, published a study of a sixty-year-old woman who had a stroke affecting her left hemisphere. When she looked straight ahead, everything to her right (her "right visual field") appeared gray. The post-mortem examination of her brain revealed localized brain damage and Verrey therefore concluded that there was a subdivision of the visual cortex that was specifically devoted to color. "The implications of Verrey's conclusion," Zeki wrote,
were momentous, indeed so momentous that even he failed to see them. For, if color vision could be specifically and separately compromised, this would suggest that color is separately represented in the brain. From this it would follow that functional specialization is a much more widespread phenomenon, extending to the submodalities of a modality, in this case the sensation of color within vision. It would also follow that the cerebral processes involved in vision are not unitary, as our unitary experience of the visual world might suggest. Many profound questions about the brain and about vision would have followed. It is no wonder that this finding was too revolutionary to many.
The full implications of Verrey's work became clear in 1973 when Zeki discovered the area in the rhesus monkey's brain that is specialized for seeing colors. When this area is destroyed in the monkey or human brain, neither the monkey nor the human can see colors. At the time of Zeki's discovery neurophysiologists were beginning to establish the outlines of a new view of the visual cortex, suggesting that there are specific functional units for seeing form, motion, and colors. Instead of interpreting "pictures" in the head, the brain is performing a variety of highly specialized visual subtasks. It is creating pictures by combining the operations of the different specialized regions into a unified visual image, though just how the brain does this is still not understood. The brain, Zeki writes, "is no mere passive chronicler of the external physical reality but an active participant in generating the visual image, according to its own rules and programs."
Hoffman's approach is explicit in comparing these rules and programs to Chomsky's approach to language. "The rules of universal grammar," Hoffman writes,
allow a child to acquire the specific rules of grammar for one or more specific languages…. Similarly, the rules of universal vision allow a child to acquire specific rules for constructing visual scenes. These specific rules are at work when the child, having learned to see, looks upon and understands specific visual scenes.
Consider the well-known image in which figure and ground can be reversed—either one sees two faces or one sees a goblet. The two possibilities are governed, according to Hoffman, by the following rule: the points of greatest curvature in the concave region of a curve determine what we take to be the "parts" of the image. The point of greatest curvature refers to the region "inside" the curve where the angle of change is the greatest. (For example, in a curve that shows a sudden drop in the Dow Jones average followed by a complete recovery one day later, the point at which the Dow Jones is at its lowest is where the angle of the curve is the greatest, representing as it does the Dow Jones going from high to low and then back to high.) Thus if we see the goblet as a "figure," the points of greatest curvature "inside" the curve create the lip, the bowl, the stem, and the base; whereas if we see the two faces as a "figure," the points of greatest curvature "inside" the curve are the forehead, nose, lips, and chin (see illustration on page 62). What is the "inside" of the curve for the goblet is the "outside" of the curve for the face. Hoffman writes that we still do not understand why, at any given moment, the viewer hits on one set of curves rather than another.
What has become clear, however, is that the brain creates our visual world by connecting and then transforming stimuli. For example, motion pictures give us a sense of continual movement by means of a series of static images presented in rapid succession. Our visual experience is not of one static image followed by another; instead we see motion because the brain—specifically that part of the brain that is specialized in the analysis of visual motion—unconsciously relates one static image to the next. We comprehend motion when the static images are presented at the rate of twenty-four frames per second. At any slower motion we see only a succession of static frames, which suggests that the brain establishes visual motion from stimuli occurring about twenty-fourths of a second apart. Without this activity of connecting, we would merely perceive a sequence of unrelated stimuli from moment to unrelated moment.
The catastrophic consequence of the inability to see movement is described in a famous case, reported in Hoffman's book, of a woman who, following her recovery from a stroke, reported that she could no longer see things move. She had great difficulty pouring tea from a teapot because the fluid in the pot appeared to her to be frozen:
In addition, she could not stop pouring at the right time since she was unable to perceive the movement in the cup (or a pot) when the fluid rose. Furthermore the patient complained of difficulties in following a dialogue because she could not see the movements of the face and, especially, the mouth of the speaker. In a room where more than two other people were walking she felt very insecure and unwell, and usually left the room immediately, because "people were suddenly here and there but I have not seen them moving." [She had the] same problem but to an even more marked extent in crowded streets or places, which she therefore avoided as much as possible. She could not cross the street because of her inability to judge the speed of a car, but she could identify the car itself without difficulty. "When I'm looking at the car first, it seems far away. But then, when I want to cross the road, suddenly the car is very near."
The failure, then, to see or judge motion is a failure to establish relations that depend, in Hoffman's view, on the rules that are part of a universal grammar of vision:
No one teaches you these rules. Instead, you acquire them early in life in a genetically predetermined sequence that requires, for its unfolding, visual experience…. And just as an adult, using rules of grammar, can understand countless sentences (in principle, if not in practice), so also an adult, using rules of vision, can understand countless images (again, in principle if not in practice).


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Recent Game Medals
First Picture 5 Points Uncovered a picture for the first time Medal Stats.
First Pop 5 Points Poped your first balloon to uncover a picture Medal Stats.
Last Laugh 5 Points Kill the Jester last on any level. Medal Stats.
Death From Above 5 Points Hit and enemy directly with a parachute bomb. Medal Stats.
Bombastic 5 Points Explode 100 castles pieces. Medal Stats.
Air Burst 5 Points Detonate a remote bomb in flight. Medal Stats.
Oh The Humanity! 5 Points Burn 5 enemies in one shot. Medal Stats.
Pyromaniac 5 Points Burn 100 castle pieces. Medal Stats.
A Freeze is Coming 5 Points Freeze 3 enemies in one shot. Medal Stats.
Jack Frost 5 Points Freeze 100 castle pieces. Medal Stats.
Total Medals Earned: 27 (From 6 different games.)


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AirTalk for December 24, 2012
Who has the clout to make a fiscal cliff deal before the end of the year?
Win McNamee/Getty Images
House Speaker John Boehner holds a press conference at the Capitol on Friday. The night before, he did not have enough backing from his own party to pass his fiscal cliff legislation.
President Obama had stern words for congressional leaders Friday when he urged them to approve legislation before the New Year to prevent tax increases on millions of middle class Americans and an expiration of long-term unemployment benefits.
After House speaker Rep. John Boehner was unable to convince members of his own party who staunchly oppose tax increases to back his 'Plan B' legislation last week, Obama said he still wants a bill that requires the wealthiest American to pay more. The key players made the rounds on Sunday talk shows but there's still no sign they're closer to a deal.
With Republicans not buying into Boehner's plan, who does the President negotiate with? Meanwhile, economists fear the looming fiscal cliff could deliver a blow to the U.S. economy. Will Congress finalize a deal before the New Year?
Steven Sloan, Senior Tax Reporter for POLITICO
Arnold Steinberg, veteran political strategist and analyst


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