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Are there any examples of actual jokes in tanach? Please provide sources.
In the Haftorah of Parshas Ki Sisa (Malachim Aleph 18:20-39) when Eliyahu is on Har HaCarmel and he is waiting for the priests of Baal, he watches them as they pray to their god to rain fire upon their sacrifice. When none is forthcoming, Eliyahu tells them (verse 27) to "Call with a loud voice, for he is a god. [Perhaps] he is talking or he is pursuing [enemies] or he is on a journey; perhaps he is sleeping and will awaken". I have always been under the impression that Eliyahu was poking fun at them rather than suggesting a real option. So perhaps Eliyahu we see at least had a sense of humor. (Although I'll wager that the priests of Baal didnt find it half as funny!!!)
There is an excellent book by Yehuda Radday and Athalya Brenner, entitled On Humor and the Comic in the Hebrew Bible (JSOTS Series; Continuum International Publishing Group, 1990). I don't have a copy on hand, so I cannot provide you with the relevant page numbers, but the sorts of issues that they explore are whether or not, and to what extent, Jonah is a parody and Esther is a parody, whether or not there is scatological humour in such passages as Ehud's assassination of the fat Moabite king, and so on. For passages within the Torah in particular, I seem to remember them mentioning situational humour (such as when Pharaoh's magicians demonstrate their prowess by making the plagues worse), and puns. That last one is important, since it underscores the fact that humour isn't necessarily that which makes you laugh.
To my mind, the most beautiful example is one found outside of the Torah, in the book of Samuel. When we meet Saul, we are told that he is exceptionally handsome and very tall. On his way to find the seer, Samuel, he encounters a group of young girls drawing water from a well. (Almost every book I've ever seen on the Hebrew Bible as literature mentions the trope of 'boy meets girl at well'). When Saul asks them about the location of the seer, they respond with the most syntactically awkward conglomeration of phrases, anticipating and repeating one another in confusion. Rather than suppose that we are looking at a corrupted text (as some have, historically, supposed), it makes greater sense to suggest that the author is representing the sound of a group of young girls speaking over one another in order to answer the handsome stranger.
For the Torah in particular, one of my favourite examples (and one not mentioned in Radday and Brenner's book) is the response of Cain to his punishment. He is already singled out as being arrogant (his statement in 4:13 can be read as both an expression of anguish and a rhetorical question: "Is my crime too great to be forgiven!?"), so it is unsurprising that after being condemned to a life of vagrancy he goes and settles himself elsewhere and founds a city.
The specific punishment that God gave him was that he be "נע ונד" (a wanderer and a vagabond) upon the earth - 4:12. Both of those words are participles, which means that they can be read as verbs (wander, move back and forth) or as nouns (one who wanders, etc). The land in which Cain settles himself after receiving this punishment is Nod - formed off the participle of נד! In other words, it would be like somebody being told they must be "a wanderer", so settling in a land called "Wander".
As to whether or not these are viable examples, and as to whether or not they reside in the minds of interpreters, you should look at Radday and Brenner's book. There is good evidence either way, and anybody who wishes to treat the Bible as literature needs to consider the sorts of difficulties inherent in ascertaining genre and intent, given the length of time between its composition and today, the foreignness of the culture that produced it, and the fact that it is written in a language that is no longer spoken.
I know two:
יד וַיֹּאמֶר שְׁמוּאֵל, וּמֶה קוֹל-הַצֹּאן הַזֶּה בְּאָזְנָי, וְקוֹל הַבָּקָר, אֲשֶׁר אָנֹכִי שֹׁמֵעַ. 14 And Samuel said: 'What meaneth then this bleating of the sheep in mine ears, and the lowing of the oxen which I hear?'
Shemot 4:2: ב וַיֹּאמֶר אֵלָיו יְהוָה, מזה (מַה-זֶּה) בְיָדֶךָ; וַיֹּאמֶר, מַטֶּה. 2 And the LORD said unto him: 'What is that in thy hand?' And he said: 'A rod.'
I've always thought that Yosef was making a joke when interpreting the baker's dream. He tells the butler ישא פרעה את ראשך - Pharaoh will "lift up your head", meaning, restore him to his position. He then tells the baker ישא פרעה את ראשך מעליך - Pharaoh will "lift up your head" from on you, an unusual way of saying he'll be hanged. Because of the similarity in wording, Yosef might have been teasing the baker a bit.
Adding to Shimon's answer, we need to consider the virtue of Jewish kvetching. In Born to Kvetch, Yiddish expert Michael Wex asserts that a unique aspect of Jewish humor, the kvetch, roots in the Torah.
Regarding the nonstop grumbling of the Israelites:
And then there's the counterkvetch:
There are more examples in Wex's book, which centers around Yiddish language and culture. Hope that helps.
The incident in Megillath Esther in which the king finds Haman pleading for his life to the queen and says, "What, and now you're trying to get at the queen while I'm still in the house?!" (my own, modernized, rough translation) can probably be seen as a bit of dark humor on the part of the king.
I think it is pretty clear at that point that the king had lost confidence in Haman and had decided to have him killed. I also think it was unlikely that he seriously suspected that Haman was trying to either attack or seduce Esther in that instance.
Most likely he was just in a (drunken) rage and made the quip that turned out to be very damning, perhaps even more so than he intended it.
Just before the 2 angels destroyed Sodom, they asked Lot if he has family members to escape with him. See Bereshis 19:14
So if you picture the situation, you'd probably imagine those sons in law laughing their heads off at the thought that those 2 men (angels) would destroy those whole city just like that..
I always thought the funniest joke in the Torah is coming right up in Vayera --- starting at Bereishit 19:30, with the punchline at verses 37-38. It seems to me that the story of Lot and his daughters was obviously a (pretty nasty and sick, actually) national joke for Israel/Judah, at the Ammonites' and Moabites' expense. Sure, we're all descendents of Terah, but YOU'RE ALL MAMZERS! Nice way to describe the origins of your neighbors...from the Mouth of G-d by the hand of Moshe! ...a good reason later on for Ammon and Moab to be tribute-paying subservient peoples, forbidden in the Temple in Devarim 23:4.


text: Sun, Jan 27, 2013 | 10:27 AM COMMENTS: 0 SHARES: The Best Beauty Looks at the 2013 SAG Awards! Share on TumblrEmail By okstaffFollow @OKMagazine Email me 2. Kelly Osbourne Photo: Getty Posted on Jan 27, 2013 @ 10:27AM 1 of 5 Side parts ruled the red carpet at this year's SAG Awards! Although we weren't super-fans of Jessica's Globes 'do (it was a tad futuristic with the height), we were digging her hair and makeup tonight! Try YSL Rouge Volupte Shine in Rouge lipstick in 'Danger' and Vidal Sassoon Pro Series Heat Protect & Shine Spray to recreate her effortlessly glam style! Share on TumblrEmail Photo: Getty Posted on Jan 27, 2013 @ 10:27AM 2 of 5 Say what you will about her lavender color, but this retro-meets-trendy, '30s-inspired, rolled 'do was gorge! Share on TumblrEmail Photo: Getty Posted on Jan 27, 2013 @ 10:27AM 3 of 5 Even though she was sick, Jennifer Lawrence shut it down in the beauty department! Her side-swept waves and red lip were amazing with her Dior dress—here's how to recreate them: 1. Apply a nickel size amount of Dove Color Care Leave On Conditioner onto damp hair. 2. Apply Dove Nourishing Curls Whipped Cream Mousse and blow dry strands with a large round brush. 3. Wrap sections of hair around a 1 1/4-inch curling iron, leaving the ends out. 4. Rub Dove Frizz-Free Shine Cream-Serum in your hands and rake your fingers through the waves to break them up and add shine. 5. Take the hair from the right side, twist it, and pin it in the back with bobby pins. Spray Oribe Dry Texture Spray from mid-length to ends and scrunch with your hands. 6. Finish by spraying Dove Strength & Shine Extra Hold Hairspray liberally all over. Share on TumblrEmail Photo: Getty Posted on Jan 27, 2013 @ 10:27AM 4 of 5 Naya's sexy curls and romantic makeup was one of the best combos of the night! A+! To get her look follow these steps! 1. Apply Proactiv Oil-Free Moisturizer SPF 15 followed by Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk Foundation and YoungBlood Mineral Blush in Rouge. 2. Line inner rims and lash lines of with Avon Glimmersticks Eyeliner in Cosmic Brown, and smudge Avon Glimmersticks Diamonds Eyeliner into the outer edges to create a softly winged line. 3. Complete the romantic and slightly metallic smoky eye by using a taupey shimmery brown shadow all over, then coat lashes with Avon SuperExtend Mascara in Black. 4. Prep lips with Chanel Rouge Coco Baume to keep them soft and hydrated. Then line them with Chanel Lip Liner in #25 Pink Sugar, and apply Avon's NEW Totally Kissable lipstick in Loving Lilac. Share on TumblrEmail Photo: Getty Posted on Jan 27, 2013 @ 10:27AM 5 of 5 Michelle Dockery looked HAWT at the SAG Awards and we're not just focusing on the sexy side boob. Seriously, the woman's skin is flawless and her smoky eye is spot on. Share on TumblrEmail 4. Naya Rivera Share on TumblrEmail Download this week's issue of OK! Magazine for only $1.99 Tags: Jennifer Lawerence, Jessica Chastain, Kelly, Naya Rivera


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Feel free to correct this if I did it wrong. Just thought to go ahead and do this, since I saw the page up.
Moderator: Mod Squad
Blood Archon wrote:You did good Hiroko.
Will Bo eat the flowers, or put them in a vase?
achthenuts wrote:The page's also show Bo's scar too.
Sir Soulchild wrote:i've lost al respect for the plot of this story.
Sir Soulchild wrote:bleed nor his fuckin staff apperently care enough or are Brave enough to show some real suffering.
stopping there so i dont offend them. more importamntly BR.
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A woman with an infectious smile and inexhaustible love for her students' wellbeing was one of the 27 killed in the Connecticut school shooting on Friday. The school's principal, Dawn Hochsprung, had just begun a doctorate program in Educational Leadership here in the Capital Region. YNN's Erin Vannella reports.
CAPITAL REGION, N.Y. -- The Sandy Hook Elementary School principal who was one of the 27 tragically killed had an infectious smile. That's what staff and students say at Sage College in Troy where the 47-year-old had just begun a doctorate program in Educational Leadership.
Dawn Hochsprung was one of 15 in the 27 month long program. Dean of the school Lori Quigley says Hochsrpung shone brightly in the group and was always proud to talk about her school in Newtown and all the ideas she had had for the students and community. With 12 years of administrative experience in, she'd hoped to one day become a district administrator.
Her life is such a sad loss for so many, those close to her say she'll be missed.
Quigley said, "I actually sat next to her for the dinner we had and I have to say again, always a smile on her face, always positive. We face a lot of negative things in education today, but I never once saw that coming from Dawn. Absolutely phenomenal woman."
Friday night, the school set up an online forum for Hochsprung's classmates. Quigley says the school's thoughts and prayers go out to all the victims, their families, the community and teachers as they prepare to be the best school leaders they can be.
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Mount & Lake Batur- Kintamani, Bali : The volcanic caldera with its deep crater lake
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- Denpasar
- Suluban Beach
- Pura Agung Pulaki and the enchanting temples of North Bali's Pemuteran Coast
- Kedisan Village at the foot of Mt. Batur
- Nusa Lembongan, Nusa Ceningan and Nusa Penida : "Cleaning Stations" for the Giant Mola-Mola
- Pura Ulun Danu Batur
- The Secluded Balangan Beach and its Long Left-hander Surf Breaks
- Impressive Pura Kehen in Bangli, on the road to Kintamani
- Canggu Beach
- Taman Nusa
- Seminyak
- The unique Setia Darma House of Masks and Puppets in Gianyar, Bali


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7 Amazing Anti-Valentine's Day Gifts Your Single Friends Will Love
If the thought of Valentine's Day make you and your BFF's say ugh, then boycott all of the lovey-dovey ick with these hilariously-awesome gifts!
By Kristin Harris
"Buzz Off" Wallet
If your BFF just went through a rough break up, she'll totally love toting around this amazingly hilarious coin purse that looks sweet but is totally sassy. (Anti Valentine's Day Zipper Pouch, $9, etsy.com)


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2012 Oscar Nominations Announced; HUGO and THE ARTIST Lead the Pack
by Adam Chitwood Posted 2 years, 332 days ago
The nominations for the 84th Annual Academy Awards have finally been unveiled. Many of the categories have fallen in line just as most have predicted (I fared alright with my predictions, but not great), with Hugo scoring 11 nods, followed closely by The Artist with 10. The biggest surprises are War Horse and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close getting in for Best Picture, the exclusion of The Adventures of Tintin from Best Animated Feature, and The Tree of Life nabbing Best Picture and Best Director nods (hooray!). On the snub side of things, despite landing the most precursor critics awards of any other actor in the race thus far, Albert Brooks was denied a Best Supporting Actor nod for his stellar work in Drive (boo). Additionally, Tilda Swinton was overlooked for giving the best performance of the year in We Need to Talk About Kevin, and AMPAS has no love for Michael Fassbender's haunting work in Shame.
There's still plenty to be happy about, as Gary Oldman has his first ever Oscar Nomination (yes, that's right) and Melissa McCarthy is a Best Supporting Actress nominee. Hit the jump to check out the full list of nominees. The 84th Academy Awards will be presented by Billy Crystal on February 26th.