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There's nothing like a peppermint candy cane crushed into tiny pieces with its crisp flavor cutting through a decadent, dark and vanilla white chocolate brownie. The flavors sing, "Have a jolly Merry Christmas!" Read more
There's nothing like a peppermint candy cane crushed into tiny pieces with its crisp flavor cutting through a decadent, dark and vanilla white chocolate brownie. The flavors sing, "Have a jolly Merry Christmas!" Read more
It's the various spices that define holiday baking with cinnamon being the most common of them all. Next to beautifully adored butter cookies, simple snickerdoodles rolled in cinnamon and sugar are one of my favorite cookies because of its soft and chewy texture. In this recipe, coconut sugar replaces white sugar for a less sweetened and a hint of caramel flavor. While white-whole wheat flour is tossed with all-purpose white flour for a slightly healthier treat. The other change? Cardamon replaces cinnamon for a different sweet and spicy flavor. Along with cinnamon, it's a spice redefining the holidays among adventurous bakers.
After returning to working a weekday schedule of 9 to 5, desserts with less prep work are appreciated in my schedule. Although pears and/or apples baked in buttery pie crusts are worth the extra effort and time, using puff pastry to make a tart turns out a quickie dessert.
This tart is topped with pear slices, warm spices, chopped almonds, and a maple syrup glaze with Tonewood Maple Flakes sprinkled on top. Of course, no dessert with baked pears is complete without a generous scoop of fresh whipped cream or vanilla ice cream. Sweet pies are great if there's extra time in your schedule, but those with fewer hours can make these maple almond pear tarts with equal love. Read more
t's our birthday and a major anniversary year for us. He's seen the worst of me, and said I am beautiful. He's my King and I'm his Queen. That's love. I wanted to treat him to a nice birthday. To say thank you for the support over the years. I wish we could fly away for two weeks to a private island. For now, my love is expressed via low-budget creativity. It's the type of gift for that one particular person as it warms the heart to communicate, "I listen, watch and think about you all the time."
With extra money saved, two orchestra tickets to Motown the Musical were bought. Reservations to The Elm in Williamsburg were made. And, an ice cream cake made with a twist of his favorite (insert big brand name ice cream here) Vanilla Swiss Almond flavor.
After weeks of resting well and looking at the four corners of my apartment, a good friend suggested we drive two hours to Lavender by the Bay in East Marion, New York. They have a booth in Union Square's farmer's market selling lavender bunches, dried lavender for cooking, lavender sachets and more. After reassuring the boyfriend the trip is mostly sitting in a car, walking around the fields for less than an hour and driving another two hours back to the city, my friend and I left Brooklyn one foggy, mild Thursday morning. We picked a weekday, because the crowds would've been too stressful for me (I'm not in the condition to stand in line). We also took a chance, because the weather stations predicted t-storms starting around 1 pm. We started our trip at 7:30 am, so we can return to the city before the heavy rains. Read more


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Congratulations and condolences to new Lakers head coach, Byron Scott. The only thing good about this job right now is the salary. Other than that, you have a big mess on your hands. This is a team with just a minimal amount of talent, except for Kobe Bryant. If his most recent injury does not keep him from playing, then you can count on him to play well, because that is who he is and what he does. No one knows if his body will hold up for one more season, let alone two. He misses playing, and he is eager to get back on the floor. However, even he does not know how long he will be able to push back against Father Time.
This is a team that has been built by spare parts and random pieces, and it may not fit together. However, this is what you have been dealt, and you will have to make the most of it. Jim Buss is the new owner of the Lakers, and he has not gotten off to an auspicious start. He hired Mike Brown; fired him and then hired Mike D'Antoni, and then also fired him. So, these two hirings and firings and lead to the inescapable conclusion that Buss not yet an expert, at what he is trying to do, Kobe Bryant has pledged his support to you, and there can be no doubt of his sincerity. However, you must remember that this great star is an even greater Diva. Diva's feel entitled to special considerations and privileges. Ordinary people can offend a Diva unintentionally, and possibly without even knowing it. When that happens, someone would have to pay, and in this case the someone will likely be you. A certain irritant to Bryant is someone on your team, who refers to himself as "Swaggy P." I am not sure what that is, but I strongly suspect that Bryant will not be amused. So, good luck with that.
An added bit of pressure, as if you needed more, is that the Clippers are likely to contend for the NBA Championship. So, you will have to live with those comparisons. Mr. Scott, I think that you are not only the right man position, but the very best one as well. If you can survive these first two years of incredible turbulence, then you are likely to be the head coach of the Lakers for at least 10 more years. I wish Good Fortune to you, Sir. You will need it!
The Angels and the Dodgers are reminding us of just how exciting baseball can be. The NBA gave us some exciting basketball games, and then the World Soccer Cup took center stage. The Spurs reminded us and the Heat that basketball is a team sport. In spite of myself, I became somewhat fascinated with Soccer, even though they rarely score. I did not see that coming. These Home teams have, in my opinion, more talent than the San Francisco Giants, and the Oakland Athletics. However, I have the distinct impression that those teams are better managed, and that they are more resourceful in the way that they play the games.
It is almost time for college football. I predict that UCLA will earn a spot in the Championship Series, and that this team may even become Champions of the World! Good luck Bruins, you are our best hope.

subset: commoncrawl


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It helps Christians navigate between the twin pitfalls of syncretism (being so culturally irrelevant that you lose your message) and sectarianism (being so culturally irrelevant that you lose your mission).
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The Walking Dead Season 3 discussion thread
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Asking SCOTT STEINER for Wrestling Advice
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: England
Posts: 304
Re: The Walking Dead Season 3 discussion thread
Originally Posted by
Loved this episode, Rick's temporary insanity is great, and like Mr. said I don't believe Hersel heard a dial tone, I sure as hell didn't, it just sounded like pure static or some shit. I also took notice to the look he had on his face after he picked up the phone and listened in for a dial tone. Hearing about Dale's mom was said as fuck, and it's nice that he's close to Carl (and I suppose to a lesser extent Rick) enough to tell him what happened. Glad he found Carol as well the suspense of knowing if she was alive or dead wasn't engaging or a must know, but rather annoying as fuck. I kind of cheated and skipped ahead with the comics, and here's something that I hope DOESN'T happen in the TV show.
Possible Walking Dead Future
shit gets dark as all mighty hell in the comics compared to the darkness of the tv show, here's some things that I hope don't happen or are changed in the tv series.
1. Glenn's death: Don't mind the appearance of the Saviors in the tv series, but fuck will this be brutal, unfortunately it will probably happen. sucks Glenn is my favorite character next to Carl, Dale, and Rick.
2. Michonne's rape: Don't know if this will or won't happen, her capture most likely will.
3. Dale's death: First of all it's the most bullshit death out of the main cast, he dies by being bitten from a fucking walker, I'd rather he died in a blaze of glory taking out a fucking ton of the Saviors. Seeing as how popular Dale is compared to the other characters in the tv series, I somewhat doubt this will happen, at least not the way it did anyways.
4. Andrea kills Dale: She's a fucking cunt who doesn't deserve the honor of killing Dale Dixon in the tv series.
5. Andrea and Rick hook up: Again, she's been made to be a cunt and a pity party slut in the tv series, fuck her.
In a brief moment of insanity I opened your spoilers, as soon as i started to read the first part I was like NO NO NO NO NO NO!
Quickly hid that shit again, if that happens in the show I'm gonna be pissed.
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Monthly Archives: November 2010
Checking Out.
In late October, Austin and I got into a pretty heated fight (big shocker, I know). He was coming into town for Thanksgiving the following month and I told him it would be a good time for us to meet each other's parents—my mom was coming in town to cook with me and he was going to stay at his parents' place in town.
He didn't think it was a good idea, saying that his parents didn't like meeting people on holidays or some load of complete bullshit. It really pissed me off that he would be in the same city as me, but wouldn't be able to find time to see me, or if he did, it would be on his terms. Although it hurt my feelings, it really helped me put things into perspective.
I was casually seeing someone new, and slowly pushing Austin out of the picture. And then, he sent me a Thanksgiving card that was completely odd:
And have a great Thanksgiving!
Holly Ann,
I hope this card brightens your day! is that a smile on your face? Good! These past couple of weeks I have been thinking. I know you are going through a lot of stress right now, so I'm gonna try my best to be support for you rather than a headache! I'm also gonna stop asking questions about your future! See, now aren't you happy? Well one main purpose of this card was to wish you a happy Thanksgiving. I hope you realize how lucky you are to have a friend like me. I hope you truly are thankful this Thanksgiving! Ha ha, I couldn't help it! On a serious note, I want you to know that I am truly blessed to have someone like you in my life, you make me laugh on my shittiest day! That means so much to me. You also put up with all of my bullshit. OK, enough about me and how much better you are! I hope this card has brightened your day, made you laugh, made you cry, brought you down for a second only to lift you back up forever…wow that was pretty cheesy! As you can see, I need some help writing, maybe you can start proofreading my cards! Well have a GREAT day Holly, you are an amazing and extraordinary person!
When Thanksgiving actually came around, I didn't see or talk to Austin despite us being in the same city. I spent time with someone new. Months passed and I distanced myself from Austin—the more time went on, I realized just how wrong he was for me, but I hadn't had my moment of clarity just yet.
In early February, Austin told me he was coming to Baton Rouge on behalf of his job. They wanted him to represent their company at the LSU job fair. I thought it was cool that he would be in town, but a previous fight we'd had came to the surface—both times I'd been to Dallas, I paid for the flights by myself, which was fine, but I felt like he needed to visit Baton Rouge on his dime.
He said I was being petty, that he was coming in town to see me—but in reality, he was getting a free trip and he was coming in town to represent his job. Regardless, he asked if he could stay with me and I said it was okay. I was still bartending and had to work happy hour the day he flew in town. He made plans to meet me at the bar at 7p.m., and have a few drinks before I got off work.
That morning, I wasn't excited to see Austin. I was worried I had made the wrong decision in agreeing to letting him stay at my house. I'd already slept with someone new, who I really liked, and I didn't want to mess that up. I didn't even know if I wanted to see Austin at all.
But I kept my word, decided to face my demons, and go to work. Before I knew it, 8 o'clock rolled around and no word from Austin. He was an hour late. I still had one more hour of work left, so I kept at it.
But my mind started buzzing and before I knew it, my blood was boiling. This was a perfect example of everything our relationship had been since it's beginning. Everything was always on Austin's watch, no matter what. I was done. I was sick of being treated like shit, being second best to everything. I stared at the door, praying he wouldn't arrive. When happy hour ended, I counted my drawer as fast as I could.
"On my way, don't leave," he texted.
Two hours late, and that's what he had to say? I grabbed my purse, my coat, and ran to my car, hopped inside and sped home like a bat out of hell. He didn't know where I lived, so once I pulled onto my street, I breathed a sigh of relief. I got inside my apartment, locked the doors, and sat in my bed laughing my ass off.
It was the greatest moment I'd felt in all of dating breakups. I'd finally felt the light switch. Austin called and texted me all night, to which I didn't answer or respond. He was at the bar, with his suitcase, and nowhere to stay.
When my friends heard the story, they thought I was a little mean. But I didn't care. Austin had treated me like shit for years and he finally got what was coming to him. With Austin, nothing I ever said resonated. So I had to show instead of tell. Keeping my mouth shut was the best thing I ever did for that relationship.
I didn't talk to Austin for more than a year. One Sunday evening, he sent me a text message saying he wanted to talk. I was in love with someone else, doing great in my job, and had moved on. So, I agreed to talk to him.
We talked on the phone about our work and he asked me about my dating situation. I told him I was happy with someone new, and we'd been together for a year. Austin told me he just ended a six-month relationship with the woman he thought he was going to marry.
He told me this story, saying he went and dated a girl I told him to date—someone who didn't cuss, was religious, didn't drink, and wore clothes that covered her. They lived an hour away from each other, but spent every weekend together. Austin was ready to propose, so he took the last step—flying her to New Orleans to meet his family.
He was excited for her to see all of the things he loved about New Orleans: the food, the music, but most of all, the booze. But when the plane landed, she had other things in mind. She pulled out a list of antique stores and old plantation homes she wanted to visit. So that's what they did. She even took Austin to get his photo taken, dressed in old clothing, her holding a parasol.
When it came time to visit Austin's New Orleans, the French Quarter, she didn't dance, she didn't drink. Austin said he thought of me.
"We used to just laugh, Holly. We had fun. And she didn't make me laugh," he said.
Austin wanted a second chance. But I told him no, and offered him the best of luck finding someone just like me.
Broken People.
Hey you! Just wanted to say thanks for another great weekend. I have fun with you whether we're out or just at home…because you're that cool. I'm looking forward to another visit soon. I know things might suck now but I am certain time will help in a decision that will be the best for the both of us.
Thanks again!
Love always,
Holly Ann
In late September, I cried for the first time in a while over a fight Austin and I had. The misery was like none other I had experienced. It didn't necessarily hurt more or less—it was just different. A huge part of me felt hurt, broken, and lost because I really felt like I gave Austin my best. I felt like I really tried to be good for him and do things for him, but in the end, I still wasn't good enough.
It wasn't good enough.
The first time Austin and I broke up, he left me because he didn't have time. He wanted to work more. He said there was a certain level of comfort there. But what I knew of our relationship was one of the most comfortable, real relationships I'd ever experienced. After we broke up, I don't know what really happened. It was my first real feeling of hopelessness toward love. Somehow, I was able to recoup and grow and move on from Adam. Then, there was Austin, who at first I felt came out of nowhere and I asked myself if this was a good time—was I ready?
I fell for Austin, hard. He did not feel the same. When he told me it was over, I was at a loss. Within one year, love had failed me twice, or rather, I had failed it. My sarcastic, witty side became bitter and unpleasant. Austin and I didn't talk and I started dating someone new despite Austin still making calls for some reason. He said he didn't understand why I hated him so much, but I just couldn't be his friend—we hadn't been friends before.
How we got to this point I was not sure. I was desperately trying to understand it all, but finding that much of it was beyond me. I was trying to move on and remind myself that he just never saw what I could offer him, he never saw me and that's why he told me to delete him. But he said he loved me. There were so many maybes and so many possibilities that I just couldn't sort them all.
He knew I was hurting and he was still being stubborn and trying to hurt me.
It really hurt when Austin told me to delete him and it hurt when he told me it was my fault and it hurt when he told me "I suck." I didn't get why he felt the need to hurt me three times, why not just one or none? Part of me thought he felt like the only way he knew how to get my attention or to get me to talk was to make me so angry that I had to call him.
In October, I was feeling better about the Austin situation since we talked about things. When we talked, we never really got anything solved, but I learned Austin didn't mean most of what he said and he was just trying to get a reaction out of me. There was still a lot to be fixed with us, but I didn't think I needed to necessarily be talking to him to get myself through it. It really felt good just to get an answer and to have a say in the way things were going. To spread the blame more evenly, I thought of some things that were of some use:
There was obviously a major disconnect between the things Austin and I did, or thought we did, for each other. I couldn't seem to understand or appreciate the things Austin did for me. And vis versa, which in turn, created a large problem.
Austin and I both had very different goals in life. Most of the time, those goals didn't seem to involve each other or even things that connected with each other—work, location, children, religion.
I just had to learn, by staying busy, that I could and would get over it. By "it" I meant Austin. It was not even about finding someone better, it was just what was right for me. I really couldn't worry about teaching Austin a lesson or trying to prove a point to him—it wasn't going to happen. Just because it didn't happen didn't mean I did something wrong, it just wasn't the type of person he was.
Austin claimed that we were "friends" and I'd wanted it to be that way. I wasn't going to tell him we couldn't talk or anything like that, I was just going to have to use my own judgement. I still hadn't saved his number back into my phone and I was planning to keep it that way. I hoped we talked some, but it was going to be different.
And I was done with Dallas.
That Feeling.
Toward the end of July, I had a bit of a meltdown. I hadn't really talked to Austin much since I got home from Dallas. So I assumed he would never talk to me again. Everything he was doing I was applying it to my fear and I finally broke down. I thought about what the fuck I would do without Austin. What if we never talked? I really didn't think I could do that again. He was such a big part of my life—even though we were so far apart. He was my best friend.
So there I was, sitting on my couch, moping, thinking about how miserable I'd be without him. Finally we talked and we just hadn't talked because he'd been really busy at work. When I'd explained how scared I was, he reassured me that would not happen.
I wanted to move on so bad, but my heart wouldn't let me. I had so much built up baggage and I thought that was why we fought. I was so terrified of getting close to him, it was like I went through all the motions, but I was scared to put my heart in it. I knew we could be good together if I just shook the fears.
But I didn't have it all figured out yet.
It was mid-August. I was in Texas, at the airport, on my way to Los Angeles for the first time.
The week before my trip was a roller coaster, as several men from my past contacted me for random reasons. I got a job offer at Duvic's bartending and Guess offered me a job also—I accepted both, but had yet to work out the details. I also had a shift in the way I felt for Austin and my thoughts on moving to Dallas.
Everything all started when my mom came to Baton Rouge to help me move. Angela sent me some texts saying she was depressed and that her parents felt moving to Los Angeles was a bad decision—that she shouldn't go because she needs to stop screwing up her life. So I told my mom about it and she started freaking out, saying why does it matter because I shouldn't be moving anywhere just to be with someone and I need to find a job and do my own thing. So of course then I was pissed because I couldn't even explain my side to her. So I call the only person left: Austin.
Needless to say, he didn't make anything better. He said to go with what my mom said because it's more important what you do from 9-5 then what you do afterward. He said if there were people he knew in Dallas then he would be miserable because he works so much and would never get to go see them. Basically, right then I decided to stop looking for jobs in Dallas.
I thought after we saw each other he would take things more seriously—that if I moved to Dallas it wouldn't be just for work, it would be for him. I felt like if I moved there, Austin would just be like, "oh cool there's someone I know here." It would be different if the opportunities there were the same as elsewhere, but they really aren't—maybe in Austin, Texas but not in Dallas. I knew there's PR anywhere, but not for music.
I started to notice Austin wasn't hesistant to tell me about going out and the girls he met. I knew my next trip to Dallas needed to be my last. If I kept going there it was going to be harder to get away from Austin and his bullshit. I was trying to make him out to be someone he wasn't. I really wanted to tell him why I stopped looking for Dallas jobs, but I didn't think I'd ever get the chance, simply because we never had talks like that. But if he didn't care—then he didn't care—and I couldn't make someone care. My only hope was that things in Los Angeles went well so I could at least work toward something.
I'd flown alone many times before, but never to a place where I didn't know anyone. I'd never been further west than Chicago. I boarded my plane, headed to LAX, and felt pretty relaxed on the large flight. We even got a meal since the flight was so long.
But as we started to descend, when the captain said we would be arriving at LAX in 20 minutes, the truth hit me—I was flying into a city where I knew no one. No one would be there to pick me up, I'd be staying in the hotel alone.
Thankfully, my luggage was waiting for me and I caught a shuttle to my hotel, which was downtown. I remember riding on the shuttle with my mouth hanging open—I was in total awe of the sights, the actual city that I'd seen so much on TV and in movies, riding on the Pacific Coast Highway.
I arrived at my hotel, a beautiful Los Angeles landmark, checked in, and gawked at the view from the room. I could see the entire city. I called Josh, the person I was there to see in the first place, and he told me the plans for the night. I was to meet him in West Hollywood at the Knitting Factory to see a band he did PR for. The facts were settling in for him, too—"do you know where to go?" he asked.
"Umm, no, this is my first time here!"
He told me where to go and to meet him at 11. I left the hotel and went for a walk, grabbed some dinner before coming back to the hotel to get ready. I caught the metro, unsure of where to get off. I spotted a few young girls in a seat near me and told them where I needed to be.
"That's our stop, too. We'll show you."
I wondered where they were going—they couldn't have been older than 13, riding the Los Angeles metro late at night. I figured they were going to a friends' house for a slumber party. We left the train, walked up some stairs, right onto Hollywood Blvd. I was stunned.
There were lights! Mann's Chinese Theatre!
The girls spotted the Knitting Factory and walked me inside—now THIS was cool. I saw evidence of old LA, the punk side of it in the big hair and white denim on the club-goers. Immediately, Josh found me and introduced me to his wife. I ordered myself a drink, and the music started.
Everyone I met was wheeling and dealing, handing out business cards, and finding my situation very unique—girl from Indiana moves to Louisiana, comes to California alone.
By the time the concert was over, I'd missed the last train downtown, so Josh grabbed me a taxi and I had rousing conversation with the taxi driver as he took me back to my hotel. Once I made it inside, I crashed—it was 4am in Baton Rouge.
The next day, I was supposed to meet Josh fairly early at his office, back in West Hollywood. Of course, I got mixed up on the metro and arrived late. His office was on Sunset Blvd, where they were taping an episode of MTV's "Next." Josh took me to Playboy radio, where one of his clients was set to do an interview—I remember the tattoo on her arm: Jack Nicholson peering through a broken bathroom door from his famous scene in The Shining.
While the offices at Playboy radio weren't anything glamorous, I was jealous of their jobs. Hosting shows an hour-long, then leaving for the day, only coming in wearing velour track suits. After the radio show, we hopped into Josh's BMW, and headed over to eat lunch at a burrito shop, where we talked some.
When I left Josh's office, I wandered around West Hollywood for a bit. It was my last night in California and I wanted to make the most of the next day. My last day in Los Angeles, I got a call from Duvic's wanting me to work that night. I told them I was in California, and they made a date for my first night.
I took the metro back to Hollywood and did the Celebrity Homes tour, walked the Academy walk, checked out the Hollywood stars on the sidewalk, and went to Virgin Records. Then, I had to catch my flight back to Louisiana.
Before my trip to Dallas, Austin and I got into another fight. We talked on the phone one day when clearly, we should not have. He was being a dick because I didn't call him when he wanted me to. So when I said I'd let him go so he could work, he got pissed. It made me remember why we broke up and why I wasn't always happy during our relationship.
My plan was to ignore him the rest of the day, but of course I didn't. I told him I was excited about my interview at Duvic's the next day—a job I'd wanted for a long time—and he said, "Oh my God, why would you want to work there? It's trashy." I was starting to notice a trend with Austin that he couldn't just be happy for me. So then I unleashed on him saying that I wasn't even going to answer the phone because he was such a dick to me the day before.
He, naturally, claimed he wasn't and that I needed to chill out because I was just being a bitch. I said I was sick of hearing him complain about how much he hated talking on the phone because if he didn't want to call me then DON'T CALL ME! He said I should realize how much he wanted to talk to me since he still called even though he hated talking on the phone. I said I didn't want him to do anything he didn't want to do, so he said he'd let me go and that was the end of that.
At that moment, I decided to limit the amount of time I talked to Austin, and headed off to work.
A few days later, I was packed for my big move into a new condo with two of my friends. Although things with Austin continued to be rocky, I was packed and ready for Dallas. I figured we just needed to see each other in person, finally.
My coworkers were advising me not to sleep with Austin during my trip. I agreed with them. I felt like Austin and I were both just waiting for one of us to find someone new. My plan was to just get to Dallas and have fun, while trying not to analyze everything.
I had a lot on the horizon: a trip to Dallas, a trip to Los Angeles—both would be telling of my future.
A week later, I was in the Houston airport, writing notes on a new pad of paper that had red chili peppers around the edges. I had just finished my weekend in Dallas and was waiting to get back to New Orleans.
After a fun weekend, I was very sad to leave Austin. I had been wrong about so many things.
I ended up really loving Dallas when I thought I wouldn't really care. The whole trip was a reality check. I thought I wasn't really going to be excited to see Austin or even sad to leave him, but I definitely was. We definitely have our moments—the good and of course the bad. I was so proud of Austin for moving somewhere new, finding a great job and a nice apartment. I was already trying to figure out when I could get back to Dallas.
We did so many fun things. Before I went on the trip, I was so worried about having a talk with him to clear things up. I was so worried about figuring out what the big picture was: why did he really want me to move there? Why did he call me? How did he truly feel? Did he love me? Did he want to marry me? But instead of having a talk with Austin, my time in Dallas answered most of these questions on their own. I may not have known if he loved me or wanted to marry me but I didn't think he would do all of these things for me if he didn't sincerely care for me.
The distance really sucked. We missed out on doing the little things together. As I thought about how much fun we had that weekend—we could've had that every weekend if we were near each other.
But we used to be in the same city and we didn't spend much time together.
Of course, not every long-distance relationship can be "real" in that aspect. I felt like a lot of long-distance relationships were based on missing each other. Often the time spent together was short and blissful since both partners missed each other for so long.
But I thought a few things had changed about Austin. He was really sweet. He paid for everything and made me dinner. He opened doors for me.
Maybe that was just another thing that I had to leave up to time. Time would tell if LA was right for me. Time would tell if Austin and I were meant to be with each other. If I lost Austin, of course I would be devastated. But I had to remember that it all boiled down to reason. No matter what happened I could remember that weekend as a really great, fun time. It definitely was not a waste and I wanted to go back as soon as I could.
I got Austin some cards when I went looking for a notebook and pen, in the airport. I got him one that said "thanks" and the front had a giant frog wearing rain boots and holding flowers. I was going to send it to him the following day. The other one I got was sweet. I would send it out at the end of the week. There was a possibility that a lot of the things I wanted to tell Austin, but didn't know how or want to hear his immediate reaction—I could tell him through writing.
There I was stuck in an airport, alone. My flight was delayed because of bad weather. I was tired and lonely.
peanut butter
muffin pan
Two hours later, on my flight home, I wrote my cards to Austin:
Just wanted to say thanks again for inviting me to Dallas. I had a great time with you—better than I could have imagined. I'm so glad I came, it was the most fun I've had in a long time. Dallas impressed me and I'm hoping to make it back soon.
Miss you even more than before.
Holly Ann
* * *
In my mind, it played out as follows: I'd arrive in Dallas, see you, have some fun. We'd talk and decide that the distance blows. I'd leave, unimpressed with the city and maybe wonder what would become of this relationship of ours. Because, after all, I was going to LA.
I was wrong. Instead, I really liked Dallas and was again reminded of how much I love spending time with you. I don't know what's in store for me in LA…nor do I know what's in store for us. But I do know I won't rule out Dallas any time soon.
Hang in there!
Holly Ann
Misery Loves.
Shortly after my 22nd birthday, school and work were really taking up my time and energy, and I was really stressed out over my summer school classes.
But since I was so busy, I didn't have much social time. Most of my girlfriends had boyfriends or didn't have time or money to go out, which often left me hanging out alone. I fell into a rut of cooking myself dinner and then taking myself to a movie, before coming home to study. Sometimes, it was nice being alone, but I knew I needed some social interaction.
Austin and I were talking a lot and things were going well. There were only two weeks left until we got to see each other. I was really excited to see him, but I was scared, too. I loved talking to him on the phone, but I was being reminded of my days with Adam. Since we weren't in the same state, we couldn't do those little things together, like run errands or grab lunch. Austin and I were lonely, and I wondered if our miseries were just clinging to each other.
Austin had met a few guys through his job and was starting to go out a little bit. I wanted him to make friends, but I was curious to know if he was meeting girls and possibly sleeping with them. Although him and I weren't exclusive, I didn't feel like I was in a position to ask him about it. I knew there was no way I could smoothly ask, "Sooooo did you meet any cute girls tonight?" I knew it would only come across as jealousy, because it was.
At the same time, I felt in control since I wasn't telling Austin about any guys in my life, because there were none. I started to worry that I was respecting Austin too much by not putting myself out there. But I was going to wait until our visit to see how I felt. He said he wanted to have a "talk" when I got to Dallas. Depending on what we talked about, I knew I didn't want to be the one waiting on his calls and avoiding dates if he wasn't doing the same for me.
The other part of the conflict was the whole me-moving-to-Dallas idea. I was extremely flattered that he was thinking about it, and even more excited that he was telling me. The problem was, I didn't want to move to Dallas. I hadn't been there yet, but I had wanted to live in Los Angeles my entire life. I had a job lead there and had been searching for apartments online.
The other half of the problem was premature, but of course I'd been thinking about it. If I couldn't agree to move to Dallas, where would the relationship go? It wasn't fair because I would be sacrificing my dream of living in Los Angeles, but I knew Austin would not see it that way.
I knew the best thing for me to do at that point was to stick to my original plan to work, graduate, move to Los Angeles and see what would be there for me. I thought Austin was a great guy, but I wanted to leave it up to fate.
That same week, I had a dream about Eddie and Paige. In my dream, they came into Abercrombie and said hey to me. Although that was pretty much the gist of it, it was a setback. It made me wonder why the whole thing with Eddie happened in the first place. I wondered what he was doing. I began to miss the fun we had together.
Summer has always been a hard time for me to be single. I dated Adam over the summer and then Eddie. I had many summer flings, including Zach. That summer combined with my extreme loneliness was bad for me. It made me desperate for company and it made me miss Adam and Eddie.
I needed to go on a date, bad. One night I asked Austin if we were still having that "talk" he mentioned the week before. Of course, typical Austin, said he never said we were going to have a talk, but that he was just going to convince me to move to Dallas instead of LA.
Later that night, Austin called me and we had a meaningless conversation. He had me on speaker phone for the whole conversation, which was annoying because I could hear myself talk but could barely hear him. He was making and eating dinner while we talked, which was okay, but it made me feel like he could barely fit me into his busy schedule, and I knew Austin was not that busy.
During our conversation, he started to get rude. Austin was making fun of me for organizing my closet and shit. Sometimes I seriously wanted to be like, look dude I am not the loser here. So out of nowhere he was like "well I have to go take the trash out so that means I have to get off the phone." Like we were in the middle of a fucking conversation! So he can tell I'm pissed and his defense is that we had been on the phone for one hour. I was thinking wow, what's it to you because you haven't even been paying attention. So he said he'd call me the next day during his lunch and I just hung up on him.
I wasn't going to answer my phone if he called me. Not to be a total bitch about it, but if he didn't want to fucking call me, then don't call me. Because I didn't want to hear the fucking bitching. If you're going to do something, then go balls out, don't half-ass it.
A week later, I cried on my drive home from work. I felt like I'd cried so much that summer, but I couldn't pinpoint why. I had several things pulling me down. I was still excited to see Austin, but my fears were growing worse. Whenever I had flown to see a guy, he'd left me. This had happened on several occasions, Adam, Nik, Gabe…
I couldn't handle Austin leaving me. The weekend before, we went two days without talking—the longest we'd gone since he left, and I was devastated. The thought of never talking to him again was miserable. We'd grown really close in the last month. I felt really good about the way things were going; Austin was my best friend.
But I was still scared.
There were things I was afraid to tell Austin. I felt pressure to "go with it" since we were so far away and we were not dating. But my heart couldn't just go with it. I was trying so hard not to fall for him, harder than ever before. I was so afraid of getting hurt from him, again. I was afraid of getting hurt by anyone.
Austin had already talked to me about his loneliness, saying he wished someone was there when he got home from work. But he didn't just want anybody. He talked to me about moving to Dallas over Los Angeles. I laughed to keep my heart out of it, but I couldn't lie, and say I hadn't thought about it.
But his excuse was, "you'll be closer to me."
I couldn't move somewhere that wasn't where I really wanted to be just to be near someone who wasn't my boyfriend, could I?
What I was most afraid of was getting used to Austin's calls. We hadn't talked everyday like that since we'd been dating. I just wished he'd tell me more, but I figured he was afraid.
I was too, but not of that.
I was still afraid he'd meet that Dallas girl, whoever she would be. I was scared the only reason he was talking to me was because he had no other girl. He said he didn't realize what he had until he lost it, but who knew?
I thought the trip to Dallas would tell me a lot, so I need to stick it out until then, and we'd be able to talk it out in person.
Wave Goodbye.
After Austin graduated, I went on vacation to St. Thomas with my mom and best friend. Austin was still in Baton Rouge looking for jobs.
In mid June, I spent three days and nights with Austin. Thursday night was the first time we saw each other since I got back from St. Thomas. I really missed him. When I left for vacation, I honestly didn't think I'd miss him, but I did. The three days we spent together were good, we didn't even fight.
Austin was planning to leave for Dallas on a Friday. We planned to say our goodbyes on Wednesday. I didn't expect to be as sad as I was. Ever since Austin and I broke up I battled up and down feelings for him. Some days I missed him, others I never thought about him. Some days I felt maybe I loved him. Others it was close to hatred.
There aren't many things I found particularly intriguing or stunning about Austin. We fought more than I had ever fought with anyone. But I couldn't get rid of him. But still, nothing felt worse than him leaving—I couldn't have been more upset.
Austin made me laugh. He let me be me (or so I thought) and things were comfortable with him. There were some things that were wrong between us, but there was a lot that was right. At that point, Austin was the only man who'd ever really broken up with me instead of just ignoring me. After all the fights or disagreements he was still around.
Sadly, I was scared that when he moved to Dallas, he'd find someone else. She would be smarter than me and more girly and probably gorgeous. But mainly, she'd live in Dallas. And that's something I could never offer Austin. He said he'll miss me when he goes and I should visit him in July. However, I prepared myself for the worst—that being that he wouldn't miss me and he would find someone else and we'd never talk again.
I never thought all of these feelings would come up. Austin was my last friend in Baton Rouge. I knew I'd be busy with work and school, so I thought that would help with the whole "missing" thing. There were things I wanted to tell Austin before he left, but I didn't know if I should. So, I wrote him a letter:
I know you probably didn't want things to get all cheesy when you left, but I really wanted to share some things with you. If I've learned anything about relationships, it's to tell someone what you're thinking before it's too late.
As great as I may be with words, I'm horrible at expressing my feelings in person. So, the writer in me has probably been composing this letter for the past year.
I really want you to know, I really am going to miss you. No matter what I've said or told you, I will miss you being around! Anything I've said to make you feel otherwise is only a wall I've put up to avoid getting hurt again.
I couldn't be more thankful of the relationship we've had: romantic and friendly. Although I habitually drop the "asshole" name on you, most of the time I don't mean it.
Truthfully, of all the boyfriends I've had, you're the only one who's actually broken up with me as opposed to simply ignoring me. I do recognize the respect you've had for me and I'm really thankful for it.
As much as you might hate me for doing this, I can't help but remember a few things. When my relationship before you was over, I'd gotten my heart broken for the first time by my best friend of five years. I thought things were over for me already.
But when you asked me out for dinner (in the stockroom) I was more shocked than ever. I didn't know anything about you and didn't know if we'd have anything to talk about. But it was one of the best first dates I've ever been on. What I remember most about those days are the small things: our Fat Joe song, carving our initials into the Caterie bar after doing shots of red snapper, the text messages, and our long phone conversations when we'd pretend to be exes and talk about ourselves.
Although things were good, I never thought we'd remain friends (what can I say, it's not really my style). Most of my exes come back around, but I never put up with them. I guess I've got a soft spot for you, Austin!
But as sad as I am to see you go, I am really happy for you. I'm looking forward to hearing about your job and the new home.
By the time you read this, I've probably already shed a few tears and maybe even packs a bag for Dallas! But don't miss me too much, Austin!
Looking forward to hearing from you and seeing you…
Love Always,
Holly Ann
I ended up rewriting the letter and giving it to Austin on our last night together, in Baton Rouge. That night, I cried when I left Austin's house—ugly girl style.
The night was awkward and short. We didn't meet each other for dinner until 8 and then we went back to his place and he was in bed, asleep by 10. As I laid there, with him asleep I couldn't help but get upset for two reasons:
1. I took off work to see him tonight and he wanted to sleep?
2. Why do I think that way?
I am convinced I just wanted everything I can't have. When I was at work I want to be at home. When I was at home or with someone I felt guilty for not being at work.
That was the last night I would see Austin for who knows how long and all I could do was be mad that I was "wasting" my time laying there. Why couldn't I just be content laying there with him for one last time? I hated saying bye to people and I had to say bye to too many great people during the past month.
I didn't know what to expect between Austin and I since we had never been this far apart. I didn't know if he'd really call me or really want me to visit him once he got there.
I was so glad I wrote that letter. I left it by his bed since he was basically asleep when I left.
On Austin's last night in Baton Rouge, I got home from work there were roses on my doorstep (3 red, 2 pink). There was also a thank you card with it and he wrote a beautiful letter inside. Of course, I cried like I had been for the previous four nights. But the things in the letter were very sweet and the flowers on my doorstep are something I'd always wanted.
I knew I'd miss Austin and think about him daily. But I also knew I was going to be okay.
Just two small words to express so much gratitude.
So this is it! I'm moving to Dallas! I still remember the time we went to Tsunami and what I had told you. I needed someone to be a backbone for me, someone to help me when I fall, someone to listen to my endless bitching! Well, months and months later, there you are. You have become that someone who I need. I can't put into words all the bullshit I have put you through. For you to still be by my side is a wonder, in itself! Every relationship I have been involved in, I have learned something. But no relationship have I learned and gained so much from as ours. You have been there for me time and time again, even when you had every right not to be. Thank you Holly from the bottom of my heart. Dallas won't be the ideal situation without you there. My dreams and ambitions take me far, I believe in myself and what I can do, and have no limits on achieving success. Thank you for being a part of these dreams and ambitions, you have helped me make them a reality! Please don't forget what we have here, and I want a date ASAP for your trip to Dallas. More than anything, I will miss you!
Back to Texas.
After I cooled off from being royally reject by Eddie, I went back on my word and started talking to Austin again. Naturally, when my friends found out Austin and I were talking again, they were skeptical—warning me that all Austin wanted from me was sex, but I gave him the benefit since I cared for him and I didn't think him and I had a relationship like that.
But I stayed over at his apartment one night when he wanted to have sex. I didn't want to and he got pissed when I said no, it made me feel like he'd just been buttering me up the entire time. I honestly thought we'd been hanging out because he enjoyed my company, not to sleep with me.
I was confused. So I didn't talk to Austin, and he didn't bother to call me. I figured he was embarrassed, but I was waiting for an apology. I thought I was really into him when we were together, then he dumped me and moved on quickly. Then we start talking again, but also start fighting again. What was I supposed to do with someone who clearly didn't respect me?
I knew I couldn't even have a friend like that. I hoped it wouldn't get blown out of proportion—I didn't want him to graduate and move away without a better understanding of why it happened. Austin may not have even realized what he did wrong, which was a problem in itself. I just didn't know why I felt so bad about the whole thing; I didn't do anything wrong. I certainly wasn't going to sleep with him out of guilt and I made it clear I wasn't going to sleep with him at all. Austin made it obvious he couldn't handle sleeping with me when we weren't together. For that reason alone, I didn't want to sleep with him. The worst feeling is knowing the person you just slept with regrets it.
I always ragged on Austin for hanging out with whores—but maybe that's why he expected sex so easily. For about a month, Austin kept telling me he enjoyed my company, he liked me, and drunkenly admitted to loving me, but how could he honestly feel that way, but act completely different? It made me question his motives.
A month later, Austin was celebrating his graduation from LSU. To celebrate, we went out to dinner at the same place we had our first date. I gave him a gift—a pair of silver Prada sunglasses, along with a card:
Congrats, Austin!
I know you've been waiting and ready to graduate for a long time and I hope it's everything you wished it would be.
The decisions you have to make are stressful, but always remember to do what's going to make you the happiest. I know wherever you end up—you're going to be great, you are so driven and hard-working. It will pay off!
Best of luck, in all that comes your way, Prada.
Thanks for all the great memories.
Love always,
Giving Up.
When Eddie didn't call me the following day, or days after that, I knew it was the Adam situation all over again. I was confused and heartbroken.
But unlike my relationship with Adam, Eddie and I were always open with each other. It was clear how much we liked each other's company. But if that was the case, why hadn't I heard from him? We were seeing each other, talking to each other and usually spending the night with each other everyday. I hadn't seen Eddie in almost two weeks—since we got back from the trip to Indiana.
We'd only talked on the phone twice. I didn't want to accuse Eddie of anything because I honestly had no idea what was going on. But that was the part that was killing me. Of course I jumped to conclusions and assumed he's spending all of his time with someone else (ahem, Paige), but at the same time I felt like he wouldn't do that to me.
I thought things were going so well, but when we did talk on the phone it was somewhat superficial. I hinted at "why haven't we talked?" But he just kept telling me he was busy. I could only go off what he told me but I had always believed that you could never be too busy to call someone. Before our trip to Indiana, he would call me between work and school, but something had changed. I didn't want to chase after him because it didn't give me any satisfaction. I felt very unwanted and unattractive.
I really thought he was different.
However, I was afraid that if I gave up and stopped calling, he would just give up too and think I didn't care and I did. I didn't want to let him get away, but at the same time—I felt like he should be worried about me getting away, too.
Over the next two weeks, I called and sent him text messages—only some of them were returned.
I really wanted to have a serious talk with him, but he was ultimately ignoring me. I just couldn't decide if it was necessary to make the effort, and try to get him to meet me.
If I learned anything from my breakup with Adam, I thought it was safer for me to back off.
I felt like something was wrong, but I also felt like I'd made enough of an effort. So I made the same attempt at not contacting him, like I did with Adam.
I needed someone who was going to want me!
I didn't see or speak to Eddie for months. In January, when I returned back to Baton Rouge after winter break, My roommates and I went shopping in the mall. We walked by American Eagle and saw Eddie inside. We went in as a group and messed up a few shirts, acting like we were looking around.
Eddie walked over to us.
"Can I help you guys find something?" he asked.
"Nope," I said.
And with that, he turned around, without acknowledging that we knew each other, that we'd slept together, that we'd even talked.
I knew Eddie had gotten back with Paige—my worst nightmare. Their situation was typical. Boy treats girl like crap, girl crawls back to him in tears. Boy gets huge ego.
At that point in my life, I'd never gotten back with an ex-boyfriend.
I knew people didn't change, but I also understood a relationship was an investment. It was easy to go back with an ex because of the comfort.
Fortunately, I didn't have that problem. I despised my ex-boyfriends because they were all just like Eddie—good at lying and putting on a sweet facade. I knew my relationship with Eddie was over, forever.
It was over for a reason.
My Music.
Once we arrived in Indiana, it was late. We got to my mom's house, she met Eddie, and I showed him to my room where he could sleep.
The next day, we had plans to meet up with Sheena for dinner, drinks, and hopefully hop over to a comedy club. We had plans to meet Sheena at the Cheesecake Factory in Keystone. We got to the mall first, put our names in and took a plastic buzzer with us. I told Eddie I wanted to show him a store I liked—Restoration Hardware.
When we got to the store, he said there was one in New Orleans, but we went inside anyway. We looked around and Eddie bought a book. On our way back toward the Cheesecake Factory, we stopped into Sharper Image. There, I found these tiny electronic dogs that you could hook your iPod up to and they would play the music, but also light up and dance according to the song.
I thought it was the cutest thing. Without hesitation, Eddie bought it for me. It was white with black spots, and moved its ears up and down to the beat of my music. I loved it.
Our buzzer was lighting up and vibrating, telling us it was time to eat dinner. We grabbed each other's hands and raced across the mall, making it to the restaurant in time to meet Sheena and grab our assigned table outside. It was a cool evening, but they had turn on heat lamps for us to stay warm.
I ordered a drink with my meal and was turning red by the second—Eddie was convinced I shouldn't have been mixing alcohol with my medication, so I stopped drinking the pink slush.
Eddie had his heart set on us visiting a comedy club that night, so we hopped into Sheena's car and headed out. But we got lost, and didn't make it to the club in time. I felt horrible. We'd spent the evening just driving around. I wasn't feeling well, but I still wanted him to enjoy our trip.
That night, I crawled into my childhood bed with Eddie. His back was turned to me.
"I'm sorry we didn't do anything tonight," I whispered.
He grunted.
The next morning, Eddie and I drove to Ohio to visit my dad and his girlfriend. We got to their house in time to head to the river for the annual balloon festival—a beautiful sight to see all of the colorful hot air balloons lined up along the water at sunset. There was food and live music, too. When Eddie stepped away from us, my dad said he didn't know Eddie and I were dating—I told him I wanted to officially date Eddie, but his ex-girlfriend was getting in the way.
She had been texting him on our drive up. For the first time in my life, I looked through a boyfriend's phone. I only read one text from Paige—she was begging him to talk to her, wondering why he was doing this to her.
When I read it, my heart sank.
At that moment, more than ever, I realized how much Paige and I were alike.
I remember walking across the bridge, from Ohio back into Kentucky, and my dad telling Eddie that he liked him more than he liked Austin.
But the three of us agreed, that wasn't much of a compliment.
That night, Eddie and I were going to sleep at my Dad's house. We all ate dinner together and sat down to watch Saturday Night Live. I was sitting on the couch, Eddie was sitting on the floor in front of me. He asked me to rub his shoulders.
"But…she's sick," my dad said.
Looking back, I didn't realize how rude it really was of Eddie to ask me that, but I did it anyway. When it was time for bed, Eddie slept in my bedroom upstairs, while my dad blew up an air mattress for me in the basement. I tucked myself in, and was texting with Eddie. From the small glow of my phone I could see a giant spider nearing my bed.
I knew I shouldn't go upstairs because my dad was probably wide awake, thinking I was going to sneak into bed with Eddie. I tried to put the spider out of my mind. But all I could think was that if I fell asleep, the spider would crawl on me and step into my open mouth.
I ran up the stairs and knocked on my dad's door. He answered and I told him the scoop. As we walked back down the stairs together, I had never hoped so bad that the spider would still be there, in plain sight.
Thankfully, the spider was there when my dad came down the stairs. He killed it, I said thanks and tucked myself back into the air mattress. The next morning, I woke Eddie up, we ate breakfast with my dad and we were off to lunch with Angela and her mom.
Lunch went okay, but later Angela told me her mom thought Eddie was a little too flirtatious with our waitress. In all honestly, he probably was.
We ate, and hit the road toward Louisiana. Eddie was convinced we'd have enough time to stop at his parents' house, so I could meet them. But, as the drive wore on and darkness fell, we were both tired and just wanted to get home.
We made it to Eddie's house late and, for whatever reason, he didn't want me to sleep over. So I got my bag, and got into my car. I will never forget Eddie standing in the street, darkness on his face, his hands holding his backpack straps.
"I'll call you," he said, turned, and walked toward his house.
He never called me. That was the last time I saw him for three months.
Trail Mix.
In September, I went to an LSU game with a few of my girlfriends. We thought it would be a great idea to wakeup early and throw back a few mimosas, since it was an afternoon game. But the alcohol and the heat made for a very unpleasant mix.
So I went home early, and was texting with Eddie while laying in my bed. He was on his way over, but was caught in traffic. Once he arrived, we fell asleep in my bed and awoke in time for dinner. He took me to Macaroni Grill, and afterward we went for coffee at Barnes & Noble.
We went to his house, watched Saturday night Live, and went to sleep. I felt so content, I remember sleeping well—on Eddie's silky sheets. When we woke up the next morning, Eddie offered to make us breakfast. I slept while he milled about in the kitchen, mixing a recipe he was proud of—milk, eggs, vanilla, and cinnamon to make French toast.
After breakfast, Eddie wanted to go fishing. so we packed his car with the essentials: fishing rods, bait, tackle, and a cooler, with giant Reese's cups inside. We drove nearly an hour out to a fishing spot Eddie liked. But once we arrived, he wasn't too interested in fishing anymore.
He drove me home. It was a Sunday evening, and when he dropped me off, I was bummed. We had spent so much time together, I didn't know what to do with myself when he wasn't by my side. I went upstairs and attempted to do some schoolwork.
Not even two hours had passed before Eddie called me, said he missed me, and wanted to come over. I was glad. When he arrived back at my house, he had his shaving kit tucked under his arm.
"I was gonna let you give me a shave, since you said you wanted to," he said.
He was right, I had never shaved a boyfriend's face, and I wanted to give it a shot. I thought it was sweet that he remembered.
So we went into the bathroom I shared with my roommate and I lathered up his face, making him look like Santa Claus. Trying not to laugh, I shaved a few rows, before he insisted on doing it himself.
The next Saturday, I worked a shift at the mall, where I saw American Eagle was handing out flowers to all of the girls that went in the store. I had plans to go out with one of my sorority sisters that night. As I was getting ready, Eddie called me and said he wanted to see me. I told him I was home, but I already had plans to go out with a friend. He said he was on his way.
I mentioned the flowers at the mall, and he said they gave them out at our store, too.
"It would've been nice if you would've saved some for me," I said.
"Oh yeah?" Then, he hung up on me.
Not two seconds later, I heard a knock on the door. It was Eddie. When I opened the door, he was holding four flowers, each stuck in their own sponge of water, from the store.
"Yaaayyy!" I said, I leapt into his arms and gave him a giant hug. We talked outside for a while, then I went back inside to finish getting ready.
The next week, Eddie was leaving for a hiking trip with his friends. As a treat, I bought him some camping-friendly snacks he could take on the trip with him. It was going to be the longest time we'd had apart—we weren't even going to be able to talk by phone.
He got back into town four days later and had to go to a work meeting, although I was complaining about not being able to see him that night. He said he would stop by after the meeting, even though it was going to be late. When he arrived at my house, I was fast asleep. But his call woke me up and I answered the door in my pajamas.
He was holding a cupcake he'd saved for me, from the meeting.
We went into the kitchen where we shared the cupcake. Keeping the lights off, we moved back into the living room, where I sat on his lap in the recliner. I had really missed him.
* * *
In late September, Eddie was super excited to buy a pumpkin. So we got a few, and carved them, leaving the pieces in the pumpkin. We filled our pumpkins with firecrackers, letting the loose pieces reveal the pumpkin face after the minor explosion on Olive Street.
Carving pumpkins was the only thing I truly loved about Halloween, and I remembered carving pumpkins one day after school with my first boyfriend, in high school.
That night, we displayed our pumpkins on Eddie's front porch, putting a candle in them for the few passersby.
Eddie was ready to meet my parents. We'd been seeing each other for two months, but it felt like a year. Since we both had fall breaks coming up with school, Eddie suggested we drive back to the midwest and meet everyone. I was ecstatic! I called my family and told them Eddie and I were making the drive.
The first week of October, I came down with a sore throat. At first, it felt like I was coming down with a typical cold. But then, after a day of class, I was in some serious pain. I went to work at A&F, complaining about my throat. My manager sent me to the coffee shop for some citrus tea. It didn't help at all, and I said I was going home.
I went to bed that night, hoping to feel better in the morning. But I awoke in the middle of the night and couldn't swallow my own spit. I slept for the remainder of the night with a towel on my pillow, so I wouldn't choke.
The next day, I told Eddie I was sick. In attempts to make me feel better, he arrived at my house with a gallon of cookie dough ice cream and a pizza. It was sweet, but I physically felt awful.
In the morning, I drove myself to the campus health clinic. When I approached the counter, I had to hold my throat with both hands to speak. They didn't believe I was sick. I begged them to take my temperature.
When the thermometer marked 102 degrees, the nurse took me seriously. They insisted on doing a blood test. As much as I hate needles, and my own blood, I didn't care. I felt like I was dying. After a blood test, the doctor took me in a room to tell me I had mono.
Mono? From who?
He told me I needed to rest, but they would give me a shot and some medicine to take home. Eddie and I were planning on leaving for Indiana that afternoon. When I left the doctor's office, I drove to his house and threw my bags in his car. We hit the road.
"Umm yeah, so the doctor told me I have mono," I said.
"Really? All of my girlfriends get that!"
I didn't know mono was a lifelong contagious illness. But I was feeling better on my medicine, and Eddie promised to drive us the entire way.


text:
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Aura Cacia, Aromatherapy Candle Lamp Diffuser
- 运输重量: 1.19 磅 (0.54 公斤)
- 条形码: 051381998264
- 包装数量:
- 体积重量: 4.2 x 4.6 x 4.4 in, 0.5 磅 (0.23 公斤)
- Pure Essential Oils
Create a fresh mood in your space — naturally!
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Contents: Includes one black spiral base and one glass bowl.
Fill glass bowl 3 tbsp. water. Add up to 10 drops of your favorite Aura Cacia essential oils. Place candle inside lamp and light. Enjoy. Wipe bowl with damp cloth to remove residue after burning.
Refreshing and Relaxing Diffusion:
3 drops Aura Cacia Ylang Ylang essential oil
6 drops Aura Cacia Bergamot essential oil
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Caution: Place lamp on a protected, heat-resistant surface. Do not place next to combustible materials. Straighten wick before lighting candle. Do not move lamp while candle is burning or when dish is full. Do not drop foreign objects onto candle. Insufficient ventilation may cause overheating or ignition of wax. If wax ignites, smother flame immediately. Never extinguish ignited wax or flame by dousing with liquids, including water. Never leave a burning candle unattended. Keep away from pets and children. Only refill oil dish when lamp is cool. Never allow water to evaporate completely. Extinguish flame before liquid evaporates completely.


text:
Troy Davis Topics
Democracy Now! reports on the case of Georgia death row prisoner Troy Davis. Davis was convicted in 1989 of killing of off-duty white police officer, Mark MacPhail. Since then, seven of the nine non-police witnesses who fingered Davis have recanted their testimony, and there is no physical evidence that ties Davis to the crime scene. Davis was executed by the state of George on Sept. 21, 2011.
Attorneys for death row prisoner Troy Davis are heading to the Georgia Board of Pardons and Paroles today to ask the state body to commute his death sentence. Davis is scheduled to be executed on Sept. 23. Last year, the board granted Davis a temporary reprieve less than twenty-four hours before his scheduled execution, after numerous questions were raised about his case. We speak with his sister, Martina Correia. [includes rush transcript]Sep 12, 2008 | Story
Troy Anthony Davis and his sister, Martina Correia, are fighting for their lives.Oct 10, 2007 | Columns & Articles
Martina Correia joins us to talk about the case of her brother, Troy Anthony Davis. Davis has been on death row since 1991 for a murder he says he did not commit. With no physical or DNA evidence or a murder weapon, the prosecutor's case rested entirely on eyewitness testimony. But seven of the nine non-police witnesses said they were coerced by police and have since recanted their testimony. Nine witnesses have also implicated another...Oct 04, 2007 | Story
Less than 24 Hours Before his Scheduled Execution, Troy Davis Is Granted 90-Day Stay of Execution by Georgia Parole BoardThe 38-year-old African American from Savannah, Georgia, has been on death row for more than 15 years for a murder he says he did not commit. With no physical evidence or murder weapon, the prosecution's case rested entirely on witness testimony. But seven of the nine non-police witnesses said they were coerced by police and have since recanted their testimony. [includes rush transcript]Jul 17, 2007 | Story
Outcry is growing over the scheduled execution of Troy Davis. He is set to be killed at 7 p.m. on Tuesday for murdering a white police officer. The murder weapon was never found. There's no DNA evidence or other physical evidence. Seven of the nine non-police witnesses said they were coerced by police and have since recanted their testimony. We speak to Troy's sister Martina Correia and Amnesty International's Jared Feuer....Jul 16, 2007 | Story
Show for Nov 21, 2014
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U.S. Grants Temporary Status to Travelers from Ebola-Stricken Nations
U.S. Releases 5 Prisoners from Guantanamo Bay
Swedish Court Rejects Assange Appeal, but Prods Prosecutor to Resolve Standoff
Marriage Equality Bans Rejected in Montana, South Carolina
Michael Brown's Father Urges Nonviolent Protest; Officer Reportedly in Talks to Resign
Angola 3 Prisoner Likely to Remain Behind Bars Despite Latest Court Ruling Ordering Release


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Photos and Description of this 3 bedroom holiday villa in The Garden - Merlin Bay - Nutmeg
Mediterranean style villas set in beautiful landscape gardens, on the beach.
Nutmeg is a well appointed three bedroom villa at the beachfront Merlin Bay community on the West Coast of Barbados.
Surrounded by lush tropical landscaping, Nutmeg offers guests their own plunge pool as well as use of the large central swimming pool and surrounding deck at Merlin Bay.
This two-storey home has an indoor dining room, a sunken sitting area that opens to the plunge pool and intimate pool terrace. The bedroom on the ground floor also opens to the plunge pool terrace. Dining may also be on the upstairs dining terrace which has an attractive hand painted mural and offers good ocean views across the central swimming pool.
Steps from the central coral stone deck lead down to a secluded white beach and the sparkling waters of the Caribbean Sea. Rates also include an efficient and friendly staff to cater to your every need.
Details for holiday villa Merlin Bay - Ocean View, 3 Bedrooms, Sleeps 6, 3 Bathrooms
- Suitability:
- children welcome
- non smoking only


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Police caught two suspects burglarizing boats at the marina near the Miami Marine Stadium in the early hours of Friday morning. Police than chased the men, but the suspects ended up jumping off of the Rickenbacker Causeway. One suspect was caught and detained, but authorities are still on the sear ... More >>
We've all had them. Those neon-green frozen things, reeking of cheap tequila and tasting like chemicals. That, dear friends, is not a margarita. The real drink is elegant and perfectly balanced. There are conflicting stories about the margarita's genesis, but many claim the drink, made with fresh l ... More >>
Harry Styles, a pouty 19-year-old English lad whose main job duties include being able to sort of sing with his band One Direction, is reportedly considering purchasing an elegant, beachfront mega-mansion on Key Biscayne currently listed for a cool $19.5 million, because life is unfair and weird lik ... More >>
Fourth of July means firing up the grill out back and hanging with family, unless you're more into the whole barbecue bash with interesting-people-in-fascinating-places thing, Short Order has put together a guide to restaurants and hotels that are serving up a plate of barbecue favorites -- and othe ... More >>
Miami-Dade county is currently experiencing at least its fifth bomb square this week as police are investigating a suspected bomb found in Sweetwater. In an added odd twist, the bomb was apparently addressed to President Obama, among others.
See also "Whiskey Joe's Bar & Grill brings Key West to Key Biscayne."There's an entire back story to Whiskey Joe's Bar & Grill, the new food and beverage compound that opened up in the old Rickenbacker Fish Company location at the marina on Key Biscayne.According to Marty Duffany, partier in ... More >>
The Sony Ericsson runs through April 1 at the Crandon Park Tennis Center in Key Biscayne, bringing with it painful traffic jams, celebrity athletes, and a lot of people in it for the oversized tennis balls and Bombay Sapphire Lounge.Every year as we stroll the village that takes two months to set ... More >>
Watching the Super Bowl in Miami does not have to mean going to a sports bar and having your $700 Prada loafers stick to the floor. This is Miami, after all. The home of excess.Sure you want to pay attention to the game (you may even have a hefty sum riding on the Giants ... or the Patriots), but ... More >>
A Godiva Chocolate Infused Vodka on the rocks. The stereotypical Valentine's Day: Roses, a box of chocolates, and a candle-lit dinner. There is probably a significant population of people bored with chick-flick induced ideas of romance and looking to do something new. For those hoping to take the ... More >>
David SamayoaSustain-able dining arrives to Midtown Well, it's the last day of the year and it's safe to say Miami saw some great additions to its restaurant scene, including a few notable ones in the last month of 2010. Following are notable openings and closings in December (or before and not ... More >>
Three days after drunkenly killing a biker on the Rickenbacker Causeway and speeding away to his high-end Key Biscayne condo, would-be pop star Carlos Bertonatti is a free man this morning.via Miami-Dade Police DepartmentBertonatti posted a $100,000 bond late in the afternoon yesterday, Det. Rebe ... More >>
An up-and-coming Miami pop singer with slick looks and a Sony recording contract has been charged with vehicular homicide in a horrific hit-and-run crash near Key Biscayne yesterday. via Rolling Stone Police say Carlos Bertonatti was drunk when he plowed into a cyclist on Sunday.Carlos Ber ... More >>
via Rolling StonePolice say Carlos Bertonatti was drunk when he plowed into a cyclist on Sunday.An up-and-coming Miami pop singer with slick looks and a Sony recording contract has been charged with vehicular homicide in a horrific hit-and-run crash near Key Biscayne yesterday.Carlos Bertonatti, ... More >>
Alphabetically except for the last:Alvaro Beade of Ideas Restaurant. His contemporary take on the cuisine of Castilla y León was exquisite. Not sure where he is now.Carmen Gonzalez of Carmen's The Restaurant. She merged modern American cuisine with traditional Puerto Rican. Then her eponymous resta ... More >>
photo by Tim ElfrinkJohn Rosser taped this sign to his door and moved out in May. What's worse than a rotten-egg-stench-belching sewage plant in your back yard?How about an odiferous shit factory that poisons your family and leaves you with severe neurological damage? That's exactly what John Ros ... More >>
Who wants to cook on Jesuss birthday?
It takes on a whole new meaning at the Ritz-Carlton.
South Florida congressional leaders Ileana Ros-Lehtinen and Kendrick Meek sure know how to live the good life when they are on the campaign trail. According to campaign financial disclosure forms filed with the Federal Elections Commission, the federal legislators spent big bucks entertaining staff ... More >>
I know it's been awhile since you BYOBed -– like in high school, back when you used to sneak-sip Special Brews on some public beach on Key Biscayne while discussing the ever-important topic of whether to get a belly-ring, a fairy tattooed on your lower back, or just blow all of your hard-earned ... More >>
The finest foods are at Taste of the Nation.
Get off your butt, you lazy environmentalists!
Take a razor to that dog.
Rum aficionados, meet your new mecca
A rare creature quietly returns to Key Biscayne
�The only crime on South Beach is how beautiful the women are�
The first thing you learn to kill is your identity
But Ad Gustum excels at matambre
Haulover Beach Park
And minor notes too -- you make up the melody
I Bake, Therefore I Pan: Excuse me, but am I the only one who thinks Miami is clueless about dough?
Mad House
Bill Baggs Cape Florida State Recreation Area
Helicopter rides
Karetnick: "Can we talk?"
Golfers and fishermen beware! The endangered reptile is making a comeback.
Bruce Matheson doesn't need you or anyone else to tell him what's wrong with his family's legacy, Crandon Park. So just step aside, thank you.
This time next year an RV campground will occupy Virginia Key. Say sayonara to one of the city's last patches of green.
A pair of firefighters' unions waging a turf war in Key Biscayne and the Port of Miami? Gee, times really are tough.


text:
Product of Hate
United States
Last Known Status: Active
Latest Product of Hate News
Below is our complete Product of Hate news coverage, including columns and articles pertaining to the band. Some articles listed may be indirectly related, such as side projects of the band members, etc.
Product Of Hate Posts "Blood Coated Concrete"
Wisconsin's Product of Hate has posted the band's first official music video online for "Blood Coated Concrete."
Shot simultaneously alongside the "Unholy Manipulator" short film (which stars horror icon Ashley Laurence of Hellraiser and Slipknot's "Snuff"), "Blood Coated Concrete" introduces audiences to one of the Midwest's rising stars of the metal scene as the band takes position and readies an aural assault with a viciously-addictive blend of thrash, groove, and new wave metal.
The official video for "Blood Coated Concrete" was directed and edited by James Zahn. Director of Photography was Franklin Purtiman, with additional cameras by David H. Greathouse and Robert Kurtzman. The video was shot inside the "Perfect Rubber Mulch" factory in Galion, Ohio. More...
Product Of Hate Posts "The Beer Chronicles" Video
Product of Hate has posted a new video clip online titled "The Beer Chronicles #2," which can be viewed below. The band also commented:
"Simply stated, The Beer Chronicle are our home movies. You'll get to see Product of Hate through our own adventures in Wisconsin and beyond.
"In Episode #2, Adam shows off his hotel room gymnastics skills in what might become one of the 'Epic Fail' viral sensations of 2012, while Cody gives new meaning to the phrase 'Go jump in a lake!'
"Finally, Geno and Kelsey get down with FOSTER THE PEOPLE and some 'Pumped Up Kicks' while... just watch it." More...
Product Of Hate Posts "Unholy Manipulator" Teaser
Product of Hate has posted the first official trailer online for "Unholy Manipulator," the companion film to the band's debut EP. The 11 minute short film stars Ashley Laurence (Hellraiser, Lightning Bug, Slipknot's "Snuff"), Tim Lovelace (Mosquito, Bunyan), and the member of Product of Hate. The full video is expected to be released soon.
Product Of Hate Streaming Debut EP
Wisconsin based metal act Product of Hate is currently streaming the band's entire "The Unholy Manipulator" EP online. You can check out all the tracks from the EP through the band's official Facebook page.
The EP's track listing is as follows:
1. Start the March
2. Your Last Chance
3. Blood Coated Concrete
4. Embrace Your Escape
5. Eyes of the Damned
6. Unholy Manipulator


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Professional Football (Soccer) Trainer/Coach, Amateur Sociologist, and Fine Cuisine Aficionado...


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I Lust Love~ OutSpoken~ HeadStrong~ StrongWiLLed~ Intelligent~ Pageant Queen~ College Grad~ Shawty Studies Law & Im on to the next Dream


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im awesome and when im a doctor im gonna surgically awesomize you.


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Old school men's suiting pattern is magnified for all-eyes-on-you impact on this long and lean skirt. Tuck in a Portofino shirt for demurely sexy date night style or add the matching jacket to bring a confident look to your meeting with the boss.
- High waist with wide yoke
- Hidden back zip
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- Fully lined, 25" long
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Flattering! For reference, I am 5/4 and 105 lbs...I had to have the 00 taken in at the waist as it was a little loose and would spin a bit. Super flattering if showing off your hips is your thing! I'm skinny so anything that makes me look more hour-glass-ish makes me happy! Wore this to the office with a tucked-in essential skirt, black tights and tall heels and it was a big hit! October 14, 2014
Nice fabric but ran small I liked the print but had to return because the waist was very small (I could have worn it if I hadn't exhaled all day LOL) I am tall and the length was great - just a tighter fit than normal in the waist - or at least that's how it fit me, October 11, 2014
PERFECT FIT SKIRT I LOVE THIS SKIRT! IT HAS A COMFORTABLE FIT. THE MATERIAL IS SOFT AND ABLE TO LOOK GOOD & FEEL GOOD ALL DAY. I'VE GOTTEN MANY COMPLIMENTS ON THIS SKIRT AND WOULD DEFINATELY RECOMMEND. THIS IS A MUST HAVE SKIRT TO HAVE IN YOUR WARDROBE. September 10, 2014
Amazing for an hourglass figure!!! I am 5'6", around 160lbs, and a 34DD. I usually wear a size 6/8 and the size 6 fit perfect on me! Very flattering skirt if your waist is significantly smaller than your hips like mine. I got compliments from strangers! The skirt does have a little give to it so it is comfortable as well. Great great skirt. September 4, 2014
Best skirt for ever I Really like this skirt it's lovely and good wearing for church July 16, 2014


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I live in St George, a small rural town in Western Queensland on the doorstep to the outback, our town has a strong agricultural base, many types of crops thrive on rich alluvial flood plain soils from the Balonne river a part of Australia's longest river system. Married to my Amy and have two young boys Jed(9) and Tom(7) and work in the transport industry carting produce and equipment in to, out of and around the area, we aslo have lifting cranes which is helpfull erecting towers and antennae.
My interests include working DX and contesting, but enjoy 10m the most with its wide range of propagation modes and have built several long boom yagi over the last couple of years for this band, also run and maintain a small contest station 4 kilometers from my Qth. The oceania dx contest is done with my good mate Andrew vk4nm, we hold the Oceania Record for Phone Multi One
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Web site: http://www.woodsongs.com/tv.html
Episode description: Three-time National Banjo Champion Gary "Biscuit" Davis performs followed by The Hackensaw Boys playing songs from their latest efforts, The Old Sound of Music, Vol. 1 and The Old Sound of Music, Vol. 2. [cc]
Rating: [TV-G] (General Audience)
Series Information: WoodSongs
TV Schedule
No Upcoming Airdates.
Past Airdates:
- KET: Saturday, June 21, 2014 at 12:01 am EDT
- KET: Saturday, June 21, 2014 at midnight EDT
- KETKY: Saturday, May 10, 2014 at 7:00 pm EDT
- KETKY: Wednesday, May 7, 2014 at 11:00 pm EDT
- KETKY: Saturday, November 10, 2012 at 7:00 pm EST
First aired: Sunday, November 4, 2012 (excluding any air dates prior to June 1999)
Official web site: http://www.woodsongs.com/tv.html


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Statement as issued Tuesday by Marriage Coordinator Kyle Megrath of Hoosiers Unite for Marriage in response to the Seventh Circuit decision to recognize the marriage of Amy Sandler and Niki Quasney, who is battling terminal cancer:
"We are grateful that the court has stepped in to recognize Niki and Amy's marriage. As Niki battles cancer, this couple does not need the added burden of wondering whether their legal commitment to one another will be honored.
"We hope the court will look at this marriage, as well as the hundreds of couples legally married last week across the state, and understand that to deny the freedom to marry is to inhibit equal protection of loving Hoosier families under Indiana law. It cannot stand, and we will fight both the legal battle and to make sure Hoosiers understand why marriage matters and why these couples deserve protection."


text: No school funding in Upper Township. Voters went to the polls on Tuesday night and rejected a plan to bond $16 million to repair the primary and middle schools there. On two separate ballots questions, the no vote got 54 and 59 percent. The state was going to pay for 40 percent of the work, bringing the local amount that had to be paid down to $9.5 million.


text:
Kerry Wood's career embodied the Cubs—much promise to start but unrealized potential in the end. | John J. Kim~Sun-Times
Updated: May 18, 2012 4:08PM
There stood Kerry Wood in the clubhouse on Friday morning, saying goodbye to teammates in one of the worst kept secrets in recent Cubs history.
A history full of worst kept secrets.
But the pitcher once embraced on the North Side as "Kid K'' wanted to go out on his terms. That meant spending the morning acting like it was business as usual. Even for one of the more underachieving pitchers baseball has seen in the last 20 years.
"Kerry can't talk, he's going to throw,'' one member of the Cubs PR relayed to a swarming media that had been gathering. Gathering because of an early AM Facebook post by Wood's wife, Sarah, which read, "every story has an end but in life every ending is just a new beginning.''
So this chapter of the Wood story does have an end, with the right-hander expected to announce his retirement following Friday afternoon's game. It just doesn't have a happy one.
Not when there was so much talent.
Not when he burst on the scene in 1998, fanning 20 in just his fifth major-league start. Then following that up with 13 strikeouts in a win in Arizona five days later.
Not when having a lead in Game 7 against the Marlins in 2003, innings away from a trip to the World Series, only to have that lead pulled from his grasp.
It's not a happy ending. But it's one that Cubs fans embraced, identified with. Wood symbolized decades and decades of Cubs fans hoping for better, only to be disappointed. He was their poster boy.
"From a Cub perspective, and you have to look at the entire career, for every Game 5 in Atlanta [to get the Cubs to the National League Championship Series], there was a Game 7 in Wrigley Field against the Florida Marlins where he didn't get the job done,'' broadcaster Steve Stone explained on Friday. "But one of the reasons he will always be engrained in the pantheon that is Cubs legend and why he will always be close to Cubs fans and their team is because like so many of them in their lives, he was always supposed to be better.
"The unfortunate part is he was very good, but it didn't matter what he did, he had the gifts to make him better.''
That sums up Wood's career perfectly.
He was 1969, 1971, 1984, 2003. He was the Goat. He was Bartman. If it could go wrong, it did. And it did with Wood, specifically an across-the-body delivery that wasn't going to hold up over time.
The Mount Rushmore of impact rookie pitchers the last 30 years was Wood, Dwight Gooden and Stephan Strasburg. According to Stone, Wood was better than both.
"Gooden it was the overhand curveball and the fastball,'' Stone said. "Strasburg it was pretty decent curveball, very good fastball, he throws really hard. 'Woody' threw harder than both when he wanted to and had a distinct curve and slider that no one could hit. I mean his stuff was overwhelming.
"The only problem was that motion, that motion of throwing across his body really hurt him. Unfortunately, the most games he ever won was 14. That's reality. That's a non-debatable issue. However, had he been able to stay together, to correct that delivery flaw, he might have been a guy like Fergie Jenkins, who for six years in a row won 20 games.''
What he was this year was simply the pitcher formally known as Kerry Wood. He was more ambassador than quality reliever. Who would have guessed that his best throw of the season came last week when he tossed his glove and hat into the stands?
So Wood calls it quits today, as nature plays that mean trick of telling an athlete that it's over.
In Cubbie legend he goes out as "Kid K,'' one of the best pitchers to wear the blue and red in recent memory.
Then again, Cubbie legend is always a bit distorted.


text: Mike Huckabee: Outlaw Use of 'RINO' Print article Send a Tip by Tony Lee 14 Jan 2014 post a comment Former Arkansas Republican Gov. Mike Huckabee, who has been slammed for raising taxes, commuting the sentence of a prisoner who ended up committing murder, and failing to successfully take on conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh, wants to outlaw the term "RINO." In a Facebook post, he whined about conservatives who attack Republicans for not being "pure" enough. "One term that I'd like to see outlawed from the vernacular of the party is 'RINO,'" Huckabee wrote on his Facebook page on Monday. "It stands for Republicans in Name Only, and it's a pejorative term that questions the authenticity and orthodoxy of someone's party purity. I've been called that myself, even though I fought in the trenches of Republican politics for over two decades. Even so, I would never pretend that I'm Lord over determining who the real Republicans are." He then said many Republicans would call Abraham Lincoln a RINO. After questioning whether conservatives "really want to save America," he said they should "be focusing on their real differences with the left, not committing fratricide." "Personally, I think someone who agrees with me 90% of the time is not my enemy," he wrote. "I'd rather have a loyal dog that licks me than one with a pedigree that bites me. I'd rather go into battle with someone who isn't perfect than with someone who thinks he is." Though Huckabee praised the Tea Party for focusing on limited government, he did not mention the $50 million establishment groups like the Chamber of Commerce will spend along with other groups – like Karl Rove's Crossroads and former establishment Rep. Steve LaTourette's Republican Main Street Partnership – to wage war on the Tea Party.


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